#but this affected me a lot more bc of the nature of the issue they're bastardising.

[ehlnofay]

still thinking about the upsetting npc I had the displeasure of meeting yesterday. fuck the shivering isles

[blinkpen]

mental heath stuff (not bad just candid)

dunno if i'll regret sharing this just yet, maybe i should have sat on it a little more until i knew exactly if i should share and how much, but parts of me really insist, and so i guess we're going for it

and i word that way because

months of exhausting processing has led me to conclude that I’m a system, so I’m still in the undertaking of cataloging an awful lot of shit into one rolodex. the kicker is i probably have been one for at least 20 years, but everyone got along so well and so cooperatively, like the most well harmonized combining mecha, that is oblivious to the fact it even is one. nobody even needed nametags in here.

…mostly. warning signs were there, it's just some of the issues that come from this sort of thing that did leak through, were hiding under other conditions that already cause similar complications. if you're familiar with the messier mental illnesses and all the ways they start to functionally melt at the edges and trade symptoms in odd places and our understanding of it all is still so half-formed, you'll probably get what i mean. hopefully people following me understand none of this crap works like it tends to get depicted in media

i'm schizophrenic and my mind is a fucking enigma anyway

anyway

then one "new" alter woke up last november in response to an acute straw breaking camel's back moment of abuse at home after enduring way too much for way too long, but the alter is not actually new, is technically one of the oldest, but she's been 'asleep' for like a decade and her point of origin is even older than that obviously this one was SO different and possessed SUCH a different headspace and set of tastes and desired behaviors, and subsequently threw equilibrium off so badly, all the components of the mecha suddenly realized they were components bc now the situation kind of required acknowledging that fact to proceed to even get starting fixing shit.

its like

"who is this weird one who broke everything" "no clue, you guys got any ideas?" "why would we have any ideas you don't, we're all us" "yeah like what do you even mean by You Guys?" "i think they're joking, like, because we're all copies of the same person, like the spongebob bit with the fine dining, they're asking themself rhetorically because it's funny…….. …….we are all the same person right. this is a metaphor. like the spongebob bit…… right….." "why are we not all immediately agreeing" "because before we could all reflexively say yes we realized we all had different definitions of The Same Person we are"

this is a gross oversimplification of course

this was a lot to process for pretty much all parts of me save one (incidentally, not the new one, the new one isn't shocked, but is a crybaby, so they didn't take Existing (Again) (2. Electric Boogaloo) very well. they do not take the prospect of 'going back to sleep' veryy either, though. so we're having to slightly redesign the mecha)

mostly through the worst of it, but among other problems we're still working to repair, this sleeper code alter caused a catastrophic system failure in the ventilation and even though everyone is mostly calmed down now, they can still smell everyone else's scented candles in their personal quarters, which is annoying when some of them have VERY different tastes in scents)

annoying, but not ruinous. fixing the AC is low priority compared to other things

like the pneumonic tube that used to let everyone hot potato information and memories from any time they were the one obliviously in the cockpit, we had a pretty damn good one, it was working so well we didn't know why we were even using it, and assumed its regular but manageable failings were just, natural, or because of some other factor affecting the tubes themselves or potato availability, and not considering most people do not have these potato tubes at all

yes i will probably make some kind of comic to conceptualize and visually externalize this i struggle to feel understood without doodles

also, while typing this post, specifically, tumblr did a fucky wucky, and when i realized i'd made an entire other post in the tags, i went to try to copy/paste them into the post but the nature of the fucky wucky prevented this. i'm really not in the mood to retype all that so it's just a screenshot now

[hear-that-music-in-the-air]

Ada and Ian Headcanons (Rhythm Doctor)

this got Long As Hell i'm sorry lmao. headcanons under the cut!!

Ada:

- We know that Ian is a radiologist, but I think Ada is probably a general practitioner/primary care physician! If she's canonically a cardiologist (bc heart stuff) then that's my bad lmao. But based on what we see in the game, she doesn't really seem to specialize in anything. She instead seems to have a wide range of medical knowledge and we see her treating a variety of different illnesses/injuries, including Mr. Stevenson's broken leg and Lucky's torn rotator cuff. We know that she's been having to do pretty much everything around the hospital bc they're so understaffed, and primary care physicians usually have fairly extensive medical knowledge covering multiple fields, which I think is what allows her to do that.

- One of my biggest hcs about Ada is that she has a very strained relationship with her parents, and that her parents are also both doctors, though I imagine they're close to retirement by now. However, unlike Ada, they both specialize in highly specific fields like brain surgery or something (I actually do imagine her dad to be a neurosurgeon lmao), and because they're both so successful they have incredibly high expectations of her. They look down on her for choosing to be a GP/primary care physician because they think of that work as somehow less important/less worth her time. They're the kind of people who absolutely have a superiority complex about being doctors and ~saving lives~. Also definitely not the kind of people who should have had kids. They're distant at best and extremely judgmental and condescending at worst.

- Ada has one younger sister who's six years younger. Because their parents were always so busy with their careers, Ada basically grew up taking care of her sister, which definitely contributed to her mentality of feeling responsible for everyone all the time. Her sister moved out of their parents' house as soon as possible and is currently attending college somewhere far away, but she and Ada still keep in touch. Ada being an eldest daughter just makes too much sense to me lmao

- I like to think that Ada is an extremely affectionate person by nature. But because of growing up with emotionally distant parents, she doesn't ever really expect for that affection to be returned, especially from Ian who's not very outwardly affectionate most of the time. So when he does go out of his way to express affection it means a lot to her :)

- Because of the way her parents are, I think she kind of has an unconscious mentality of "no one is ever going to love me as much as I love them." She also struggles with people-pleasing tendencies (taking on more work than she can handle, having difficulty saying no to people) and self-esteem issues. So whenever someone goes out of their way to show her love, it kind of catches her off guard lol

- Ada's primary love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation (I'll explain this more below lol). She's REALLY big on physical touch—Ian generally does not like physical touch and one of the only people he tolerates/enjoys it from is Ada. Though I definitely think acts of service is one of her love languages too, as seen in Middlesea College Life. I simply think that she has so many love languages because she's FULL of love

- I imagine Ada as someone who feels her emotions very strongly, and who is generally just a highly emotional and empathetic person. Her empathy makes her good at connecting with the patients, but it also means that she feels everything so much all the time and it can be overwhelming for her sometimes. She’s undoubtedly very intelligent, but I think she’s still very much a heart over head type of person. She also cries pretty easily, though she has to try her best to keep it under wraps at work. The list of movies that make her cry is extensive, which Ian lovingly teases her for.

- Ada is extremely nearsighted and can't see much at all without her glasses. Because of this one of her favorite jokes is saying “I’ve seen enough” and taking her glasses off lmao

- Courtesy of @nightmun: Ada earnestly loves dad jokes, puns, and anything similar. Ian gets her a joke book as a gift once and regrets it immediately.

Ada, incredibly excited: IAN WHAT DOES A LEMON SAY WHEN IT PICKS UP THE PHONE

Ian: …what?

Ada: YELLOW!! *WHEEZE*

Ian: <:)

(this is the fifth one she’s told him today)

Ian:

- Ian’s mother is a single mom and his dad left when he was ten, hence why Ian is currently the only one taking care of her. Ian was also an only child. I imagine he and his mom are very close since it’s just been the two of them for so long, so her illness has really been taking a toll on him.

- Ian is bilingual and speaks Mandarin! I don’t think he has a canon ethnicity in-game (though please correct me if I’m wrong), but I’ve been thinking of him as Chinese Canadian, in line with @pokeblog123’s headcanon that Middlesea is in Canada. I imagine he and his mom speak Mandarin at home sometimes.

- I think Ian probably did robotics and/or coding as hobbies in high school and college! We know that he’s insanely tech-savvy, and he seems to have quite a talent for programming. In that same vein, another one of Ian's hobbies is buying old/vintage video game consoles from garage sales, on eBay, etc. and taking them apart to see how they work, sometimes also restoring them if he can.

- I know this is a pretty popular hc already but I think Ian is autistic/generally neurodivergent lol. I do try to write him with this in mind

- Related to that, Ian struggles with social cues to a certain degree, and subsequently has more trouble connecting with the patients than Ada. His little character card says he’s “better with computers than people” and I think this is probably because people are just difficult for him to read. Computers are much simpler; they’re predictable and generally do what they’re programmed to do. People are a lot more complicated. I do think he’s learned to read Ada fairly well simply because he’s known her for so long

- Ian's primary love language is acts of service/gift-giving. He struggles with physical touch and with verbalizing his feelings so he shows his love by doing things for people instead (which was part of the inspiration for my fic "Helping Hand"). If he goes out of his way to do something for you, that’s how you know he really cares. He's an actions over words type of guy :)

- Ian can be very blunt and straightforward, as we see in the game, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care. We know from game dialogue that he regularly encourages Ada to take breaks and is generally concerned for her wellbeing, and we can also infer that he worries a great deal about his mother. He definitely cares, he just has different ways of showing it.

- Ian normally doesn’t cry very easily and he also doesn’t like to cry in front of other people, but my hc for why he cried at the Stevensons’ reunion is because it reminded him of his own sick mother, who’s been alone ever since his dad left. He’s usually not one to cry in public but that just got to him. I like to think that Ada checked up on him afterwards.

(ACT 5 SPOILERS)

- Although he doesn't really show it, I think Ian probably feels a certain amount of guilt for everything that's happened with Connectifia Abortus, especially now that it's been revealed that the virus originated from the system he created. He knows that the rhythm defibrillator system could put the patients in danger if the virus keeps getting worse, and he's been working day and night to try to fix it. Of course, Edega's demand for a "miracle cure" at the expense of caution and safety certainly isn't helping matters. Given that Ada also needs treatment on occasion, one of Ian's biggest fears is that Ada will get hurt because of the virus (and, he thinks, because of him).

BOFA THEM:

- I think Ada was Ian's first, and possibly only, good friend at college. I imagine they met through their shared classes and Ada was one of the only people who made a point to talk to him. After that she sort of just stuck around, much to Ian’s initial surprise. He had always struggled with making friends and he was hesitant to open up to her at first, but her persistence and genuine sincerity eventually won him over. Now they’re best friends :)

- I've seen other people say that they were probably roommates at some point in college/med school and I definitely think so too. I'm sure they pulled a lot of all-nighters together lol

- Once Ada and Ian became close friends, I like to imagine that she also got to know Ian's mother. She's always gotten along with her very well, and because her own parents were so distant, Ada came to think of her as somewhat of a parental figure. When Ian's mom first got sick and started requiring intensive care, Ada insisted on helping out with anything they needed.

- What I was referencing above about Ada and physical affection: I think Ada might be somewhat touch-starved because of my headcanon that her parents aren't very affectionate people. She craves physical touch and words of affirmation because she never got much of that from her parents. Once Ian figures this out, he tries his best to do those things for her even though it doesn't come as naturally to him (as in like, he’s normally not one to initiate hugs but he’ll give Ada a hug if he can tell that she needs it).

- Ian’s pragmatism balances out Ada’s bleeding-heart altruism, and vice versa. I think over years of friendship they’ve learned to appreciate the other’s perspective and find a middle ground, though of course that’s not always possible in high-stress medical situations.

- Ada doesn’t really understand anything about the online games that Ian plays, but she probably uses gamer lingo incorrectly on purpose just to annoy him lmao

- Unrelated to anything but I think one of their favorite pastimes is hate-watching Grey's Anatomy together and making fun of all the medical inaccuracies (I’ve never watched Grey’s Anatomy but I’ve heard there are many). Despite this they’re both low-key invested but neither of them wants to admit it lol

Anyway I love them. In my mind they are besties who get married for tax benefits. Thank you for your time if you read this far lmao

[wulvercazz]

grimmichigrimmichigrimmichi >:3333 (pairing meme)

heheh okay- so shiP IT ofc 😂 .. but here's the answers;

What made you ship it?

so... I have a very specific list of qualities I look for when it comes to my favorite male characters. And Grimmjow fit them all 😂💕

When I first watched Bleach the only thing I shipped was IchiRuki, bc naturally that was the only way to go for me tbh, but then Grimm appeared and I was obsessed. When it comes to otps for me, first I find a fave character, then I consider the possible pairings. Not any other way. And with Grimmjow... well the only option for me was Ichigo tbh.

Not to discredit any other Grimmjow ships, I've done a few of them myself, but with how passionately these two throw themselves at each other I truly couldn't look any other way. Lol

So tldr; Grimmjow's got slut potential and I dig that, and they're too into each other for me not to see "gay" plastered all over them 💫

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Hmmm 🤔maybe how inherently feral it is, canon-wise. Also how harmonious their overall designs are together, there's nothing nicer than a pair that looks good together, at least as an artist. Also how easy they are (for me at least) to write/draw; I have a hard time focusing on one thing for long enough to get good at things (hence the many AUs lol!) so for me to have a ship I draw constantly for more than four years now... is truly astounding lmao. They helped me grow soooo much so they hold a dear dear place in my heart just bc of that alone.

And because of that last one: how easy it is to apply AUs to themmmm ;w;<33333 I can legit think of anything and make an AU out of it and not struggle too much to find the perfect place for them in it.

And also,, sort of fave sort of least fave- that it's not an overly popular ship in general (ik it's popular in the Bleach fandom itself, but rather; not popular like a ship from BNHA or JJK). Why; bc I get to have my quiet space where I draw all the ideas I want and yet have had verY few people throw insults at me for some of my darker stuff 😂 Bigger fandoms I've interacted with (as a viewer mostly) have had issues popping up left and right, people getting upset over dumb shit and letting that grow to huge proportions, "antis" everywhere... yeahhhh no thanks 😖

but also-- it gets verY quiet at times specially for someone who's so picky. Like, if I could find a fandom space like the exclusive bottom Bakugo enthusiasts I followed on twt (and even bought a whole zine about) but for GriMMJOW??? WOOF😭💕 so yeah,,, love-hate situation on this last bit lmaooo

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

A few 😂😭 everyone who's followed my art for a certain amount of time can probs tell how the 'tism really affects how I enjoy ships lmaoooo I have to enjoy them a very specific certain way so... that means I don't partake at all on a good few of the popular tropes for the ship. Some I can think of rn; damsel-in-distress!Ichigo, overly hurtful!Grimm (although this one is more old fandom I think 🤔? I remember, in a lot of fics back then, Grimmjow was portrayed a lot as this violent rapist adgdfddfdff not for me lmaoo), ofc top!Grimm, Grimmjow acting all macho relationship wise, and too much angst (I think this ship (and Ichigo in general lets be honest) can call for a lot of angst in fic so I totally get it- but ...meh, if it's not romaticized/sexualized angst, idc for it adgdfgf I don't like it when they actually suffer 😭)

OOH OH! ALSO --- making them OOC in AUs CAN be great actually (to me at least). I know a lot of people (not just here, but in any ship/fandom/etc) don't love OOC characterizations of their fave characters/ships (hence why it's a tag we use tbh) but I personally love that at times??? I won't do it all the time and all over the place... but AUs where there's space to make Grimm less violent? or Ichigo less friendly/loving??? While still within their canon character potentials--- hecC yes. >:)ccc

Also ofc; that I wish it was still common to tag ships as top-bottom like it is with HoEn/EnHo (bnha), VK/KV /trigun, KRBK/BKKR (bnha) etc or at least tag it some other way along the ship.... it would be sO much easier to filter out stuff i don't want to see instead of having to mute/block a whole person I would still love to see stuff from.

BuT I am aware most have no preference whatsoever lmaO so... yeah nothing I can do there except not follow people pfFFF 😂😭 (and wait until I find peeps with similar tastes aasdfs)

[poryphoria]

bunch of neurodivergent/disability/whateverthefuck you wanna call these angled crackpot hcs bc fuck ya life (my crackles uses hymn/gore/rot/chirp thank uuuu ^_^)

touch adverse to strangers, flinches & winces whenever someone chirp doesn't know bumps or touches hymn. needs a lot of personal space, hyperventilates & struggles to breathe in crowds or in general uncomfortably close proximity to strangers

however gore is also BADLY touch starved in an intimate or friendly way. loves to cuddle, hold hands, hug & lean on ppl. craves body heat. would probably be healed if someone just laid on hymn like a sandwich for an hour or so

hates eye contact but loves to stare at people when they're not looking. not for malicious purposes hy just finds people fascinating

acne crazystyle bc rot can never stop touching & picking rots face & body 🔥🔥🔥🔥 hys got it all over hys shoulders and back too, sometimes on hys thighs. dry skin aswell bc hy hates the sensation of lotion/whatever oily shit ur supposed to put on ur skin to make it Not do that. patchy like a lizard 🔥🔥🔥🔥

severe stomach issues & food sensitivity 🔥🔥🔥🔥 gets horrible stomach cramps from stress & anxiety. Stressed and anxious often. god bless. gore's also lactose intolerant 🔥🔥🔥🔥

has trouble expressing gratitude- feels a lot of emotions very strongly but hy's rarely able to actually express or articulate them. on the equal opposite end rot tends to break down into tears whenever rot tries to express frustration & anger, frustratingly enough

CHRONIC PAIN NUMERO UNOOOOO 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Walking Hurts! Standing Hurts! Why does it hurt? Only god knows! would probably benefit from a cane. frequent back pain as well occasional mystery hand pain. also gets period cramps REALLY FUCKING BADLY to the point that they usually leave hymn bedridden for a day

anxious stutter & hy tends to mix up & get stuck on words, especially when hys brain is moving faster than hy can talk.

mimics voices & speech patterns, especially those of the people hy likes/is close with. does silly voices to hymnself. often Gets Stuck doing said voices. Condemned to the bit

in a similar vein, has been told that gore is inexpressive/"too flat" so frequently that gore now overcompensates heavily by exaggerating hys voice & gestures in order to get hymnself across

has mild dyslexia, mixes up directions frequently, Very Bad at navigating

chronically bad memory issues that were exacerbated by the dissonance poisoning. Sticky note.... Save me sticky note with appointment written on it.... Save me clipboard full of important information I will not remember otherwise.....

sensory ordeals chirp despises: dust/powder on hands, being in close proximity to live bands, the taste of smoke in food/grilled meats, any smell that is very chemical-y in nature (formaldehyde and latex are sort of exceptions but they're on thin ice.)

has a very difficult time discerning between platonic & romantic affection, and honestly doesn't rly gaf about the difference either at this point. love is love and rot has so much of it in rots heart

source: all of these came to me in prophetic visions. i probably have more but i cant remember them rn You're welcome thank youuu

[noemitenshi]

@marrecarandgi

ok so, the mommy issues: he does have them though i don't think they are sexual in nature (which is also why i don't like to call them 'mommy issues'--- theres always a certain… connotation attached (and on top of that it sounds, to me, like blaming the victim. not saying you're doing it! not at all! Just describing my aversion to that particular phrase as best as i can)).

So what that whole thing boils down to is that he never experienced the love of his parents, that's where it stems from. That's part of why he fixates on Madison so hard. BC already in the first ep of s3, moments after he greets madison, he watches her declare her love for her kids and for travis. "do you love him more than your life?" he asks her and the way he looks at her… like that's such a strange thing to him and at the same time he'd wished someone would love him that much. or like even half as much. hell, he'd take a quarter! It's kinda heartbreaking. He's drawn to such a love and jealous too. Of course he is, he never got it. And then he finds out who her son is she got in such danger for and… is angry at him. Angry that he has such love in his life and just--- treats it with such disrespect (=bc he's a junkie and also bc he clearly ran away from his mom). I think it reminds him of the relationship with his own mom, how HE had such love for her and how she had only disdain for him and for his love. And while he can't hate his mom - i mean i think he does. but he also loves her. feelings for his mom are complicated… but with NICK it's not complicated. He can just hate him. So yeah there's a lot of projecting going on. None of it sexual though, I don't believe so. Explains part of his fixation though. AND THEN on top of her apparent love, she immediately turns around and tries to manipulate him. "My, my son, he's out there, somewhere. Alone. I'm sure if you were lost in the wasteland, your mother would do anything to find you" Definitely he loves the way Madison could play his games (the way she did even as she was disadvantaged, even as she was scared), the way she tried to manipulate him AND also the way she loved, those two things drew him to her. Personally I think he was most taken in by the 'she keeps at it even while she's afraid what he'll do' thing she had going on. Pushing onwards despite. Does it remind him of himself? Most certainly. He loves to draw that out of her, that bravery, that opposition. After all, he likes people pushing back it's attention, it's caring enough to engage with him, not just dismissing him… And I think a third aspect in their relationship is that he also wants her to.. teach him, in a way. Because they're pretty similar - both manipulative and clever, wanting to control all others around them and not afraid to do what needs to be done (in their eyes) - but then! She's got a family that loves her. If she could just teach him how she did that… he could have a shot at that too. At long last he could have that, too! If only she could teach him her secret.

So yes, his family did fuck with his head badly, he's certainly got issues. And it comes out as desperate to make connections, as soaking up attention and affection wherever he gets it, no matter how dangerous it is. He knows full well Madison is playing him but he just can't NOT engage, at least in s3. I'm so fucking happy for him he got over that in s8. How heartbreaking would that have been otherwise… And I think the reason he got over it is because he finally got what he was craving - someone that loves him. Not wanting to use him or someone who merely tolerates him, but honestly, truly loves him. First Serena (I assume) and then definitely Tracy.

--

Now about the 180 he did wrt killing Madison - honestly that's just bad writing in my opinion and having everything rushed because they wanted to do too much for 12 eps. That's how it felt while watching haha. (Same btw for Tracy suddenly saving Madison what the fuck come on get out of here with this shit omg). Anyway, what I could imagine is going on here: he knows he's fucked (chances of surviving this and actually getting tracy to safety pretty low) so he does what he thinks will most likely ensure Tracy's safety. Getting on the good side of these people (by saving Madison).

It's still a stretch, I know, but makes more sense than 'he saw into her eyes and realized bla bla bla' come on! Orrrr maybe he realized her dying now, without anything she believes in is no punishment for her. She *needs* to believe in the same shit Serena did so it really hurts her when she dies. She'll feel like she's losing out on something, or whatever. Now it seems like she welcomes death. She even said it to him didnt she. Something along the lines that padre will be safe without ppl like them around. She wants to die. So. He saves her. (Just like she didn't kill him when he begged her back in s3. she just sent him into exile). I kinda see this one as the most likely explanation. Also makes sense he wasn't paying attention to Madison, just worried about Tracy. Because that's his number 1 prioority.

---

Now naming Tracy Tracy still has me scratching my head and calling bullshit. Sorry, no in-universe explanation for it, writers were being stupid. Probably thought 'oh this will show he really really cares about family bc he named her after his mom' or whatever.

[pearlescentpearl]

📕(you got me curious)

Oh, a new friend! Let me see what I have for a new friend...

Okay, so this one's actually transcended the merely a fun day dream stage to planning to write it one day stage but, and bear with me, a dom/sub canon silm au.

Basically, as far as I can tell, the closer elves get to Ainur the more they pick up Ainur ways of ordering their society. Prior to the Journey the highest rank we hear elves having in Cuiviénen are chiefs. They govern by chiefdom. After the Journey? Suddenly they have Kings. (There's a whole essay in there about how elves went bonkers over their First Kings and how it affected naming conventions and how all legitimacy is based on connection to the Beloved First King.)

Anyway! The point is! Ainur have an effect on the way elves order society based on proximity! So the D/S verse leans into that a bit harder by going one step further with the fact Ainur divide themselves into Those That Lead (Valar) and Those That Serve (Maiar), and due to things like the Ainur of Valinor not quite understanding how the Children of Eru work (they just met!) and the elves thinking the Ainur of Valinor are so mighty and wise and more enlightened as to How Things Work, no one thinks to put the brakes on the newly established Amanyar going, well, maybe we should divide ourselves between Those That Lead and Those That Serve?

Cue ten thousand essays from elves later as they ponder the philosophies and ethics of leading and serving, and their interrelated relationship in the personal realm.

One topic of frequent discourse? Whether being king requires a Leading (Dom) Disposition since you're wielding so much authority over people, or a Serving (Sub) Disposition since the job ideally is about serving the best interests of the people.

Since this is not a 'people are just born like this' d/s verse, people can be quite flexible. The majority of people are not on hard ends of the spectrum, just like real life, and they draw from the example of the Ainur that they should do what feels most emotionally fulfilling.

And this is the society that Melkor gets unleashed into.

Anyway, bc I am predictable the actual plot revolves around Russingon arranging themselves into marriage to solve their family feud situation. But bear with me!

Bc of the way this society now emphasizes D/S roles, Fingolfin has to weather the controversy of power-jockeying with his older brother a lot more carefully, and he does so by letting it be known that after much contemplation he doesn't believe his natural disposition is to serve but to lead, and furthermore he no longer finds mutual benefit in being subordinate to Feanor. This is a HUGE indictment on Feanor, by the by, bc both the Valinorean Ainur and the Amanyar put great stock in a leading/serving relationship being mutually beneficial and emotionally fulfilling to all involved parties.

Meanwhile, Feanor being targeted by Melkor as he is in canon, is letting it be known that he thinks they've all gotten carried away with this D/S thing, and they are not thralls and should stop acting like it, let's go back to how we used to do things!

Fingolfin: Funny how you didn't start singing this tune until you were asked to serve, huh?

Feanor: Funny how you didn't start singing your tune until you began disdaining to serve, huh?

*dramatic audience gasp*

So now there's all this controversy, people are reviving the discourse on the ideal disposition of a ruler, yadda yadda. It's a mess. People are taking sides.

Enter Russingon who are like, well if the House of Feanor is being asked to serve, and the House of Fingolfin is asking to be allowed to lead, and our fathers refuse to be civilized about it, then let's just let us do it!

Now Russingon had a very comfortable D/S dynamic going on, nothing extreme, just overt shades of fealty kink wherein Everyone Knew Fingon is Maedhros' favorite and it was all very appropriate to their ranks. But they figure, if they're going to flip that dynamic to address this issue they're going to have to go hard.

It promptly gives them horny brainworms to navigate the nature of who is serving who and who is leading who in this new power dynamic.

And it gives everyone else a conniption.

I just need to figure out how this affects The Sword Incident, and the following events.

[lavend-ler]

you're literally so real and based about the misogyny in the onceler fandom like none of the plot would've happened without audrey or norma (although i am a bit biased when it comes to norma cause she's my fave), and mrs wiggins helped A LOT and everyone just ignored them. also the vitriolic hatred towards the onceler's mom (yeah she sucked but still) is kinda weird where is that treatment towards the rest of his family

thank u dear anon 🙏

I posted my post out on a whim from my drafts but lemme elaborate - the lorax/onceler fandom is incredibly misogynistic. from the fact that ppl make fun of younger often girls having fun and being attracted to Once-ler. I was also a young girl when I first joined this fandom and I could completely feel the mockery over the years. all bc I dared to have fun abt one of my fave characters. and over the years I feel like the nature had become even more so hostile against fans, esp abt women who just join

my another glaring issue is with the fact that this fandom completely overlooks female characters. as u've said, the plot wouldn't have happened without Audrey and Norma. and when u join the fandom discussions u see ppl complaining abt how thinly they are written, the fandom does nothing to expand on them

I'll start with Norma bc she's my absolute fave too - u can barely find anything with her these days. yes I love Normaler but it doesn't have to be all there is to her. if u don't like Normaler, why can't u make Norma be Once-ler's friend? why aren't u exploring her life as a young woman, single mother and then a kind and upbeat old woman? why can't u pick up the pieces in canon abt her spunky but lighthearted nature, love for stories, enigmatic but understanding personality, nostalgia towards different times but still living in the moment, even affection towards things as gentle as nature and as extreme as sports? she fckin drives a crane all by herself! Norma is such a fantastic character to explore but this fandom just doesn't want to. and then when ppl DO explore her character it's dismissed as a self-insert fantasy for girls. even if so, so what? are we circling back to hating young girls for having interests?

Audrey is a similar case. she's either used as a mouthpiece, side piece for Ted or fucking shipped with an adult. why don't u explore her life beside this? why won't u talk abt her being an artist, softspoken dreamer and an introverted character who has to make choices? I love when ppl make her more active but she can also be passive, not everyone has to be an adventurer. and if u make her active, she could make a fantastic protag. all I'm saying is, do better

I'd argue the story of The Lorax also couldn't have happened if it wasn't for Mrs. Wiggins. she's such a fun character too, lovable and sweet and energetic, but also no nonsense and stands up for what she believes in? when I read this ask to my bestie they looked at me and said "Mrs. Wiggins has more personality than Ted" and I AGREE. she deserves more spotlight as a single woman who tries her hardest and balances her life all around. she's so so good

as for Once-ler's mother, she is a total bitch but like........so is his whole family. yes, she's the abuser but everyone else enables her abuse so they're also guilty. like fuck them. I do totally get hatred for Once-ler's mother but she's also a pretty good antagonist. her manipulative behavior and mood swings are very well written in a realistic way. why can't we even say that a woman is a good antagonist? besides, she can also have her past (which does not excuse the abuse ofc, just makes her a deeper character). I see a lot of potential and it's just wasted a millionth time

can I also say that female OCs in this fandom are super scarce? I remember there were a lot of times when fem!Once-ler blogs got deactivated bc they were relentlessly bullied. all for the sake of shipping two mildly different flavors of the same guy. and u don't have to make them side pieces to ur Once-lers. women deserve their own stories to tell. when I was developing my Lorax OC Felicia, her relationship with Once-ler was the last thing I thought of

anyways, it's a total tangent at this point but I wanted this to be an ode to female characters of the lorax/onceler fandom. they deserve their stories and they deserve to be treated with respect. do better

[butchviking]

Okay, so I saw you in my notes highlighted red by shinigami eyes and because I'm someone who understands nuance I decided to scroll through your blog to see why. Generally when I see that, I encounter people who are genuinely awful towards trans people, but you don't seem to be? At least not towards trans men... But as a trans woman, a lesbian, and a feminist, I am genuinely curious how you perceive me. Am I contradictory in my nature to you, am I wrong, am I some freak? Because I can tell we definitely disagree on things... But does your feminism include me or not? It's also interesting to me because I feel most trans people I know are feminists and believe gender is a ridiculous construct, which seems to be something you agree with. So like, what's going on here...

i don't think you're wrong. i don't think you're a freak. i don't think you're a lesbian, and i don't think a transwoman is the same thing as a woman, but i think we probably have goals in common. i definitely believe gender is a ridiculous construct, and also probably the greatest evil in the world (though race could probably be tied for that)

does feminism include transwomen is. a question i come across often but not one that really makes sense to me. i feel like it breaks down into "can a transwoman be a feminist", "does feminism focus on transwomen", and most importantly "does feminism benefit transwomen".

- anyone of any sex or gender identity can take feminist action and be part of the movement in that way. i don't really fuck w the "can [x type of person] be a feminist" discourse bc i think action is more important than identity. anyone can do feminism and have feminist values - i don't really care what they call themselves about it.

- feminism is a movement for female liberation. feminism does not focus on transwomen. i also have an interest in trans rights in general though, which transwomen are as much as focus of as transmen or trans ppl of any other identity. and i particularly have an interest in gender abolitionism, which applies to absolutely everyone but which i think would be of benefit to pretty much all gender non-conforming ppl (a group which trans ppl are obviously part of)

- i do think feminism benefits most transwomen! at least the ones who are just reguar people trying to get by in a gendered world, and definitely those who transition to socially live as and pass as women. of course, transwomen aren't going to benefit from certain aspects, like abortion rights and female healthcare. and i absolutely believe there are some transwomen who want the freedom for themselves to be able to be who they are and live how they want, but still want to retain the right of subjugation over the female sex - feminism obviously wouldn't help them with that. but feminism would definitely help, say, a transwoman who gets catcalled on the street and followed home by some creep. it'd help a transwoman who gets spoken down to by men around her, who gets knocked back from jobs or promotions in favour of men.

feminism will never focus on transwomen's specific issues - that's what trans rights movements are for, not what feminism is for - but where they are affected by misogyny they would benefit from the movement to end misogyny. and they're welcome to be part of that movement! i fully believe that trans rights and womens rights can coexist & i fully believe we have many common goals and i fully WANT trans ppl (transmen and transwomen and anyone in-between) and feminists to work together where we're aligned. on a personal level i care a lot abt both causes and on a personal level it kills me that so many ppl insist on feminism and trans activism as enemies. we're not. at least, we don't have to be. i really, really don't want us to be.

[evilwickedme]

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately about how fanon treats Tim compared to Damian and Jason, which is fine, but they’re looking at it through the lens of “good victims” vs “bad victims” in response to trauma and I don’t think that’s the right way to do it. I don’t think we should be looking at it like that because 1. All three of those characters have trauma and comparing trauma is gross and 2. applying real life psychology to inconsistently written fictional characters feels pointless lol. Damian and Jason are written super inconsistently and trying to tie their characters into one specific framework is borderline impossible lol. Sometimes Jason is written as a good person who has inner demons but other times he’s written as a psychopath who tries to murder his family and gleefully tries to shoot children so I don’t think it’s super productive to label him as one or the other. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Ok I'll be real with you I'm not 100% sure what you're getting at! I think you're saying that Tim is positioned as the good victim and Damian and Jason are positioned as the bad victims, although correct me if I'm wrong.

I definitely have a lot of thoughts when it comes to victimhood and the batfam, especially Jason. I saw a TikTok recently that put something I've thought for a while now into words, which is that Jason - Red Hood - is a victim's power fantasy. Like, Bruce is very much a male power fantasy, and Spider-Man and Captain America are Jewish power fantasies, and Jason is over here with his anger and trauma and it just feels so familiar. I don't relate to Jason the most out of the batfam - I feel like Tim's experiences as a whole are much more relatable to me - but I for sure see myself in that aspect of Jason's character.

I think the dynamic of "bad victim" vs "good victim" is flawed in the first place, and dare I say it - yet another aspect of cultural xtianity that has made it into fandom and our culture at large. Purity culture is based in Christianity, and a natural result of it is the idea that victims must be flawless and well behaved, or they must be at fault.

Honestly we see this in DC's constant rewriting of Jason's Robin days - post UTRH comics, esp post n52 comics, are constantly retconning him into being the angry Robin, a boy who was angry and damaged and no good from the beginning, which of course is not true at all - he was a fucking nerd, for real. He loved school and doing homework and going to museums and he only had two notable cases of violence, one extremely close to his death, and the other is in the first issue of A Death in the Family - you know, the story in which he was killed off. Afai can remember RHatO n52 and rebirth and urban legends: cheer all try to present this - almost as if to make Jason's death less tragic, make it seem inevitable. When Bruce calls Jason "broken" in a hologram in battle for the cowl it's this claim that he was mentally unstable and shouldn't have ever been Robin, something that was only brought up in ADitF.

All of this is DC's attempt to make Jason a "bad victim". Red Hood!Jason is angry not bc of his death traumatizing him, but bc he was always broken. The reality is, the reason Jason's death affected Bruce so much and the reason UTRH was so impactful WAS Jason being such a joyful, trusting child. He wanted so much to belong, to be good, to be magic, and instead he was betrayed by his own mother, brutalized, and then left to die. If there was such a thing as a good victim or a bad victim - which there isn't, because being a victim is a neutral act, and nobody deserves to be traumatized, even if they're the worst person on earth - Jason was absolutely a "good victim". That's the whole fucking point.

I don't know as much about Damian as I do about Jason, but I feel like Damian needs less retconning to be presented as a "bad victim". He's introduced as a violent boy who attacks Tim and doesn't trust anyone and having taken in so many of the LoA's teachings. I think it's insane how much the fandom tends to stick to this early characterization; unlike the situation with Jason, where DC is actively trying to pretend that he's always been rotten, for the most part the actual comics have really let him grow as a person and I'm really looking forward to reading Robin (2021) (I already have vol 1 I just need to like. Get around to it).

The truth is Damian was a deeply traumatized and brainwashed child who needed a supportive environment and Dick really tried to give him that, which was so instrumental in his development. I feel for him so much and it's really saddening to see the way many people treat him in the fandom. At least Jason made the choice to become a villain as an adult. Damian's just a kid, even now, and he'd never been shown another option.

As for Tim - God, I've said this before, but I fucking hate how woobified he's become in fan spaces. Guy's intelligent, sarcastic, independent, and yeah, honestly? Not always been treated the best. His biodad wasn't exactly great. Bruce gaslit him on his birthday and Alfred just went along with it. Dick and him were so close, and then after Bruce "died" everything just fell apart between them. But also like. Idk I feel like people often take his agency and character away from him. Originally Tim was supposed to be the normal kid. Robin was basically a nine to five - he was there to do a job, and he wasn't ever supposed to be part of the family, esp considering how recent Jason's death was when he became Robin. That just sort of... Happened. Dick treated him like a brother from the first, yes, but Bruce didn't treat him like a son, and Tim wasn't looking for a father. I don't remember where I saw this, but somebody pointed out that Tim basically never lived in the manor. I think he feels very deeply for the people he loves, and that's why he was so distant at first from the batfam - he didn't want to create a connection that would be severed eventually anyway when he stopped being Robin (again, was initially supposed to be a temporary gig!). We see this most obviously because he did get attached, and then Kon, Bart, Steph, his dad, and Bruce all died - or "died" - and he low-key lost it. And like...

Okay I've sort of lost the plot, but I guess basically what I'm saying here is that I'm not saying that Tim isn't deeply traumatized himself, but I don't really see the things that traumatized him the most as victimizing. Like... He and his dad were working on rebuilding their relationship, for better or for worse. Before Bruce died, he was doing pretty well as part of the family. He's, unfortunately, back to being Bruce's Robin. So like - what is he a victim of that he's being treated as a good victim? But then you read the most popular Tim centered fics and you're like, oh, okay. So we're just projecting here.

Like, were Jack and Janet drake amazing parents? Again, no, and he expresses extreme frustration with the constant moving and boarding schools and at a certain point jack confiscates his tv and jack forces him to stop being Robin because it's dangerous. But none of this is anywhere close to the abuse that's portrayed in woobified!Tim fics. Like my God, some of that shit is AWFUL. Many of them are extraordinarily well written and deal with the abuse they inflict on Tim extremely well. But it's, at least as far as I can tell, made up. Positioning Tim as a "good victim" is so fucking easy when you're making up the abuse in the first place.

Idk I guess the main problem here is that the idea of good victim and bad victim are ridiculously harmful in the first place, but then there's also just the fact that none of this characterization is based in canon - whether bc of DC's attempts to erase history with Jason, bc character development is routinely ignored with Damian (not to say that it's low-key because of racism, but... It's low-key because of racism), or bc it's straight up made up.

But, again. Y'all. Just do not moralize victimhood. Nobody deserves to be abused or mistreated or fucking murdered (except the joker, bc as I've said before, he has such a high fictional kill count it's like the equivalent of killing a Nazi and I stand by that).

Anyway thanks for asking, sorry for taking a few days I just had to think about it and also apparently write a full scroll of text. I tried to break it up into readable chunks instead of the wall of text I originally wrote it as but it's still just. So long. Anyway much love

[gregoftom]

omg the norwegian wood exactly!!!!! like it was a moment where it seemed greg was being his hetero playboy persona like "some hotties...the arctic foxes...bit of norwegian wood" but like norwegian WOOD??? that's suddenly so explicitly Not Straight??? HE ALSO LITERALLY TURNED TO TOM AS HE DECIDED TO MENTION NORWEGIAN WOOD???? and with a dopey fucking smile too

he's also then so tender when he's with tom asking "but you're not worried, right? you're good" with a gentle touch. it's!!!

I totally also buy that they've been intimate. and it's changed their dynamic but there's also this boundary to it because it hasn't had them be Together as an actual couple so they're just like orbiting this thing. and I bet greg's like soooooo in his own head rationalising it. like they're just Buddies. buddies that sometimes give each other release when they haven't scored a woman but are still pent up. and I just Know that tom's so tender in it and also so horny but then Also just puts these walls up like it's Nothing like there's not emotion involved like it's not a Thing, greg, it's not weird. (don't overthink it.) and greg's like...along for the ride, but probably also got fucking whiplash lol. and probably his whole comphet, gay dad issues got him thinking in denial like you can still be straight while fucking around with a man

like I feel like they Do have the vibes of having been intimate and it's like unlocked this level of affection and touch and cheeky playfulness they sometimes have. and like there's now always the option that they Could do a little something, so there's a thrill there that it's like...maybe available, at any opportunity. but it's also Not Properly Spoken About or acknowledged so it's like dancing on the edge of something. like I'm sometimes aloud to have you but I know I don't actually have you...but you are mine...we're each other's we're linked we have little secret private in-jokes, and I'm your cheerleader your champion I care about you I want to protect you and you protect me...but there's no Relationship, there's no talk of it being a relationship.

I feel like if greg even reminded tom that they'd held each other's dicks tom would shut him down instantly. ...but then later inexplicably touch him so tenderly or sexually...and not even acknowledge the disconnect there

YEAH LIKE. like i said, there’s sequoias there so it seemed to be greg having a little inside thing with tom like i GET it!!! being real i think they Did Something even before norway like hand on heart i think somewhere in the 3-4 gap was the first time. the way they act in 4.02, way tom finally opens up to greg in 4.03 and says he’s not okay, the way greg is like. blatantly eyeing tom at the wake [and they arrive together?! oh they fucked the night previous] it like. all hints to me they’ve stepped over a barrier into intimate territory of i guess fwb [but they absolutely both feel more than that, hence in 4.08 greg’s finally like, so where are we at in terms of us? and bringing up matsson and the way he treats him but enjoying the trust as though referring to him and tom and where they started and are now at, bc he doesn’t want that anymore, he wants to be tom’s lover.]

LORD don’t even say that to meeeee it’s true like. greg wants to look out for tom esp after what happened last time he was on a flight like that :( he’s worried about him! and lmfao hugo being like UR ON A DIFF FLIGHT TO TOMand greg being like ok and? see if i give a fuck i need to check on my man 🔪

and yeah like that is tom’s way, i think. i think he desperately tries to be this like detached guy with greg, and this kinky guy with shiv and he just can’t keep it up bc his nature is being romantic as hell so he’d slip up a lot with greg just like he always has like I AM MEAN AND NASTY GRRR but then forehead kisses and i’ll look after you. and as you say he’d be so tender and gentle in bed like i stand firm by my belief that tom was greg’s first real fuck And it was amazing simply bc tom was so tender and giving during bc he can’t really be anything else, that’s just how he is and why sex with him is so good. but if greg tried to bring it up or mention he’d absolutely dismiss it lol. probably again what led him to being bitchslapped in the bathroom LMFAOOO tom step it up!!!!

[ichorblossoms]

okay, bear with me as i try to articulate a mess of thoughts and vibes into coherent words here

part of what's so compelling to me about p2 of honeybee is that it's the only real span of time in-story that grimm and yarrow get together that's (mostly) devoid of some sort of extreme circumstance, and it forces them both to work on their own issues with intimacy but the thing is both of them have a a belief that they don't deserve the love they're given and default strategy of avoidance and that they can and do resort to, but at the cost of hurting the other

actually this got long so i'm putting this under a cut. ig cw bc i talk abt sex but nothing explicit

grimm is, for understandable reasons given their past, scared of attachment, more people you love means more you lose means more of yourself that's vulnerable means devotion you don't know how far you'll go for. so when it feels itself beginning to love yarrow again, it gets antsy and restless because it feels wrong but good but also like a death sentence but also like a new life and it knows it can't just give yarrow all of those feelings because what is yarrow going to do about that if grimm doesn't even know what to do? and so it runs away, or leaves yarrow's bed to sleep in the other room, or hovers in the doorway without coming in.

they also don't really see themself as A Human Person and have only really known either a solitary life of drifting or resolute loyalty to someone who only has selfish interests in mind, therefore it doesn't know how to live this sort of...domestic life and it didn't even think it wanted that until yarrow showed it that comfort is something grimm can have. but even if it knows it can have it, grimm still has a lto fo grief becuase it doesn't feel like it, an animal with blood on its hands, could ever do anything to deserve that, and that also feeds the restlesness and desire to run away, even when it knows it will only feel worse for doing so

yarrow's issues are more of a result of just being jaded with romantic relationships. he's consistently put in more effort with his partners than he has received in turn and is kind of fighting not to fall in love again because he doesn't want to endure yet another heartbreak, least of all with the person who left him to fuck off for five years (grimm does feel guilty about that and that fuels some of its self-punishment too). there's also subtle rejection/transphobia from past partners in the mix affecting his self-esteem, but more on that in a min. despite all that, he's softhearted and finds it difficult to fight his own feelings because he can't help but having some hope that just maybe, the past won't repeat itself and even though grimm left, they also came back like they promised. kinda just "i am doomed to give more than i can ever take and i don't know how much i have left to give, but i will do so anyways because i don't know how else to exist"

unlike grimm, they refuse to shut people out or close themself off, so it's not entirely obvious that he has any of these issues until most of grimm's problems have been confronted. yarrow also keeps that sort of stuff very close to their chest, so realistically i'm not sure how much anyone but grimm would find that out either

so you have grimm, who wants to just, be a person and live this life with yarrow, but it doesn't know how to do any of this and fucks up a lot in the process. and naturally, grimm doing shit like running off again (and coming back by that evening, but still) and constantly pulling away from affection makes yarrow feel like shit. even though he knows he has nothing to do with what grimm's going through, it's still setting off his rsd while he's trapped in this dilemma of "i have no reason to kick grimm out or cut things off and i genuinely love this person but at the same time they're indirectly hurting me and reopening old wounds." like sure, communicating does fix their problems to an extent, but it's mostly just like, time and patience, which makes it actually kind of tricky for me to accurately put a time frame of p2 until i actually finish writing things

and ALSO, because of how they do and don't deal with their various problems, this fascinating sort of switch happens between the two of them as they actually, finally settle into something they're happy to call a relationship and feel comfortable enough to have sex. where grimm WAS the one to punish itself and deny things mostly out of fear of being hurt, it isn't as much when it comes to sex (ofc they still do for above reasons, and trying to talk about it is mortifying at times bc it's still yarrow they want to fuck and taking off their clothes means not hiding that they're humod) but because they've had hookups and casual sex with people before there's an element of, "well i've already submitted to the mortifying ordeal of being known, it's not like showing you my dick is going to make anything worse". meanwhile yarrow, who has been pretty open and affectionate up until now is like "i'm stone and do not want to be touched during sex". kinda elaborated on some of this stuff here back in sept but there's been some development..? now yarrow is not actually stone per se (and my using of the term may change bc i don't want to invalidate ppl who are actually stone by having a character misusing the term), but has convinced themself that they feel enough sexual gratification through their partners to avoid confronting the fact that no one has made yarrow's pleasure a priority, instead they've internalized that as "while i am not disgusted with what i am, my body is fucking weird to everyone else and no one will actually find what i am attractive". so now GRIMM is the one who has to deal with desire and the rejection of those desires.

they're verse4verse so it's like, fine for awhile. eventually that comes to a head and they get over things and settle the fuck down but MAN it takes them a lot to get there. basically with how i envision honeybee, there are several plot-relevant sex scenes bc it's impossible to disentangle that from the wider developments the two of them have irt to intimacy and just. human connection and whatnot

but yeah all in all they're both products of their environments and relationships, and it's really fun to play with how they really do want to love each other, but there's a lot of pain they cause one another before they actually get to settle into something that's comfortable and fulfilling for the two of them, and that's JUST part 2. we're not even factoring in what happens after grimm's past and decisions come back to fuck things over for the both of them tee hee

[rollercoasterwords]

hi rae!!

i just wanted to say that i fully agree with you about the whole divine feminine, female gaze etc. gender thing! but i'm also a little bit confused about the female rage specifically so i was just wondering if you could elaborate on that?

bc i've always thought that female rage had nothing to do with something biological or your gender or whatever but rather that people who are viewed as women/socialised as women and are treated as such by society will have the shared experience of being vicims of sexism/marginalised bc they're being seen as women and that female rage was when they reach a point where they just snap and try to fight back/get revenge on society and/or men for the things they've been put through?

but maybe i'm wrong so i just thought i'd ask your opinion/how you view it bc maybe i've just been looking at it the wrong way this whole time!

yeah i'm happy 2 elaborate! (this got incredibly long lol but bear with me)

i think this perception ur describing of "female rage" as like. a pushback against misogyny is something that a lot of people seem to have, although of course there's not a set definition and the term is more a set of loose affective + aesthetic associations--meaning that even amongst people using the term, there's variation in how they would actually define it if prompted to do so. but generally speaking nobody is actually being prompted to sit down and define the term, so it remains rooted only in that loose web of associations, and because of that i find that it functions less as a genuinely helpful like...theoretical or descriptive tool and more as a means by which "female" becomes mysticized as a nebulous, prediscursive essence which fundamentally alters the nature of "rage" to make it #feminist.

and like. once you do sit down and start trying to define the term, you begin running into issues pretty quickly. like--not trying to call u, specifically, out or anything, but i'm gonna run through your definition + break it down + put pressure on it to try and illustrate why i think this term is at best unhelpful and at worst harmful in its reification of gender essentialism

so like. right off the bat, you say "people who are viewed as women/socialised as women," and not only are those two different categories, but each of them are so broad that even alone they would require more refining if we're trying to reach a point where "female rage" is at all grounded in some material experience. "people who are viewed as women" could include people of any gender identity, including those who aren't women. if the shared experience there is "viewed as a woman," why is "female" the category under which we're placing that experience? additionally--when we say "viewed as women," what exactly are we talking about? viewed as women by who? in what context? for how long?

"socialised as women" is an equally nebulous category that, again, is not going to overlap exactly with "female." additionally, things like "female socialization" or "being socialized as a women" are not monolithic experiences. factors like race, class, nationality, etc are all going to change the ways in which women are socialised. so--socialised by who? in what context? in what ways?

just from asking a few questions, it becomes pretty clear that trying to define who is or isn't included in the category of "female" in this context is virtually impossible without retreating into essentializing assumptions that there is some specific quality/essence that an entire group of people share simply by virtue of being "female." and the category of "female" in and of itself is rooted in biological essentialism, which raises red flags for me when it's used as a foundation for thinking about gender because it tends to obscure the fact that the "biological" categories of male and female are their own social constructions tied explicitly to the construction of gender.

so what we end up with is a poorly defined, nebulous category to begin with--essentially various definitions and ideas of what constitutes "female," connected only by its dependence on an appeal to some mythical, prediscursive "female" essence.

from there, we expect that this category of people who posses the mythical essence of "female" will all have "the shared experience of being vicims of sexism/marginalised bc they're being seen as women." notice, again, your defintional slippage here--"being seen as women" is not necessarily the same thing as being "socialized" as a woman, which you included as part of your definition earlier--so are they victims of sexism because they're seen as women? or because they're socialized as women? or some other reason? or a combination of reasons? how are they victimized? by whom? in what contexts? and, of course, we return to our earlier questions: seen as women by who? in what contexts? to what end? keep in mind that thus far, none of these categories have been limited strictly to people who u might call "women."

aside from that, the idea that all people who possess the mythical essence of "female" share the same experiences of marginalization is...again, incredibly broad. while it's not necessarily untrue to say "all women experience misogyny," it's in no way a comprehensive or particularly salient starting ground from which to build a critique. because the category of women is so broad, so fluid, and so contextually specific, women are all going to have vastly different experiences with misogyny + how it manifests in their lives. when we assume that there is a single shared experience that can be encapsulated under the nexus of "being victims of sexism," what usually ends up happening is not some grand accounting for the variation in all these experiences, but rather a privileging of certain types of experiences over others--an assumption of some "standard" experience of misogyny. unsurprisingly, that assumed standard tends to be white.

and this privileging of white women in "female rage" narratives is pretty obvious; basically every like...video i've seen with examples of "female rage" is just pretty white women screaming. and it really begs the question of what, exactly, we're supposed to be celebrating when we celebrate "female rage." whose rage gets to be romanticized as not just anger or aggression or "karenism," but "female rage"? what qualities must a woman possess for her rage to take on this romanticized quality--furthermore, for her rage not to be assumed as simply a personal expression of anger, but a stand-in for the rage of all women, an outcry against misogynistic oppression, even? and again, what makes this rage specifically female? why is it not just rage? against whom must the rage be directed, and in what ways must the rage be directed, for it to be afforded this mysticized feminine quality? do we even agree on the parameters here, with no concrete category from which to build?

so, at the end of the day, for all that it's praised as an expression of like...feminist consciousness or whatever, what i actually see "female rage" doing, in practice, is twofold:

1. mysticizing "female" as a prediscursive essence in ways that reinforce bioessentialism + gender essentialism

2. elevating a certain type of affective expression amongst a somewhat small, privileged category of people + claiming that it represents a fundamental experience shared by all women

and that's why i find it so frustrating to see it praised as feminist!

[tousakamis]

i think one of my main issues w #that st ship (in a romantic context anyway) is just how much it reminds me of my own experiences with romance.

im an aroace person and i, too, dated people who i was close with, who Everyone said "oh, you must like them romantically bc you're close, right?". a lot of people bring up heteronormative pressure but i don't think enough people consider the amatonormative pressure as well.

like... the way i personally see mike, i think he mixed up platonic attraction with romantic attraction, because Everybody was telling him it had to be that way. so at first he maybe really did think he liked her romantically - then, as things shifted and he began to face more internal issues, it became more of a desperation to force himself. like "oh, we're in a romantic relationship. she likes me romantically. i HAVE to like her romantically too." and when you consider his undeniable queer coding.... romantic and hetero norms are so deeply intertwined, you're expected to like people romantically. it's the way a boy and a girl will be friends and the instant assumption is romantic chemistry - it's that undeniable overlap that makes a lot of queer youth feel almost obligated to date (esp someone of the opposite gender), often before they discover themselves.

like! i really think they would be so much better as best friends. you can Love somebody, you can wholeheartedly adore them... that doesn't mean romantic love. i don't deny that they really love each other - but sometimes, when you love somebody, you almost feel forced to be in love with them, especially if they're of the opposite gender. it gets to the point that expressing that love, because of the romantic nature, can feel really unnerving; mike is fine being affectionate with her when it's not romantic, such as sharing the bike, but when they're doing it in a romantic context, he looks... baffled, almost disgusted. like i get you, boy!! no matter how much you love/care about someone, knowing the affection comes from a romantic nature when you Don't feel that way is so uncomfortable (especially as he may be not attracted to girls at all - double whammy of societal norms!).

i hate how some people act like these character's only have worth if they're romantically bound to another.

like, yes, i do have my own ships w these characters. ultimately my main want for these two is for people to recognise they exist beyond their current romantic relationship.

for mike? he becomes more of his own person in wills company, their platonic bond is so unbelievably strong and it's one of my absolute favourite dynamics ive ever seen. in fact, it made me really sad watching mike sideline his bond with will, though i know that's somewhat due to his internalised homophobia. but mike and will bring out the best in each other - they're best friends who just so happen to be in love with each other. they're already each others happy endings, regardless of whether it's platonic or romantic. in fact im Rooting for their romantic happy ending bc to me, that would be the biggest "fuck you" to amatonormativity and heteronormativity in one fell swoop!

as for el? she's already moving towards individuality, she's already trying to define her worth beyond her romantic affairs. this is why her bond with max is so so beautiful - max actively tells her "there's more to life than stupid boys" in S3, reminding her that she's more than a romantic relationship, and max encourages her to find herself. id say max is one of the best things to happen to el and they truly love eachother, which is further proven by her desperation to save max in S4. imo, el has begun to prioritize platonic and familial relationships As well as herself. idk why ppl think her romantic relationship falling apart is gonna ruin and destroy her. she's more than mikes gf 💔

but yeah. TL;DR #that ship in a romantic context feels Very amatonormative to me and some fan responses further this. i love the dynamic in a platonic sense more than ANYTHING (like. genuinely please feel free to talk to me about it) so please don't think i don't recognize their love for each other. but, as per the dictionary definition - loving somebody ≠ romantic love!!

(i do apologize if none of this makes sense btw 😭 but i hope at least some people get what i mean, please feel free to add things or correct me on some things)

[twinkinspector]

present mic / yamada hizashi ❥ astrology masterlist

❥ birth date: july 7, 2111

❥ birth time: 6pm

❥ birth place: tokyo

❥ pop astrology analysis:

cancer sun, cancer moon, capricorn rising. on the surface, i would say his big three doesn't fit him. but that's in the pop astrology sense – just looking at the surface of his behaviors and at these three placements. i would have expected much more air and much more fire. but his big three consists of earth and water! weird to me for sure. [insert no bitches meme here] no leo? ALL THAT SAID........ it does make sense when you look deeper.

❥ in-depth below the cut ❥

❥ cancer sun: emotional. strong survival instinct. nurturing. sensitive. compassionate. seeks and offers security. loyal. protective. highly intuitive. associated with psychic abilities. charismatic. mommy issues.

our boy mic isn't what i'd call a textbook cancer. his analysis is going to be more of me dissecting the motivations behind his actions – he's much older than other characters, so he's likely "masking" his placements more than other analyses i've done. his motivations are almost always personal. they're often to protect his friends, which is very cancer. cancers take relationships really seriously, which is obviously the case with mic. because of the emotional and nurturing aspects of cancers, they can be very focused on the past. i think this manifests in the way he reacts when finding out about shirakumo. (i'm not going to say anything more than that bc spoilers.) ALSO i think his intuition comes into play with his choice of friends. though aizawa acted aloof and distant, mic knew he could crack him. and he did.

❥ cancer moon: loyal. nurturing. family is super important to him. goes out of his way to make others feel loved. naturally supports and protects others. very emotional. i've noticed this placement can have mood swings really easily based on the moon's current transits.

mic's personal motivations are super important to him. when shirakumo is killed in battle, he and aizawa are frozen in place to mourn him for hours. though his passing truly affected mic (and he still carries it with him), he was able to navigate his initial grief (showing a mastery and understanding of emotion) and more or less move forward. his friendship with aizawa is really indicative of how he goes out of his way to make others feel loved. he really had to go out of his way to be friends with someone so guarded. although he's loyal to his friends, mic is able to team up with pretty much anyone. in the manga, there was a point in his high school career when he had to team up in a two-vs.-two battle with someone he really didn't like against aizawa and shirakumo. while mic's team didn't win, he did a surprisingly good job of cooperating. this often shows a lot of empathy and emotional intelligence.

❥ capricorn rising: biiiiig bizzy-business energy. work-oriented. no-nonsense. stoic. poised. quick-witted. bright. emphasis on family. mastery of the material. organized.

it might seem like mic isn't high-achieving and work-oriented, but i think that's just something he's cultivated over the years. he's honestly much more hardworking than he seems on the surface. he has three jobs!!!!! he's also able to compartmentalize his strong emotions to do what needs to be done when it comes to work. this placement is super persistent. he wore a seemingly aloof aizawa down until he became a lifelong friend. i think this placement is HUGELY colored by his leo mercury.

❥ leo mercury: excels at public speaking, performance, and winning the hearts of others. proud. bold. authoritative. enthusiastic. well-liked. enjoys the spotlight.

mic is the poster child for the surface manifestations of a leo mercury. his entire persona was created around his special brand of communication – insanely loud and bold. this is the way his actions manifest – BIG and BOLD.

❥ leo venus: loves grand gestures. bold love. confident. playful. dramatic. energetic. can be emotionally unstable. loyal. warm. aesthetics are important to him. loves the effect he has on society.

i think this placement colors his others too. he's so bold in the way he expresses himself – even aesthetically. venus represents aesthetics as well as all its other domains. so his hair??????? v leo venus. this placement does speaks to his strong emotions even though it's not a water sign or a traditionally ~emotional~ sign to most people. he also thinks (rightfully) that society is a better place with him in it.

❥ cancer mars: indirect. passive-aggressive. inclined to control their feelings but can seem moody. can later erupt. protects himself. driven to action based upon emotion. mars is in its fall here.

this really drives home how much his emotions influence his actions. mars is the planet of action and how we deal with conflict. it's not always about how we react to conflict – sometimes it's about why things are causing conflict in our minds in the first place.

❥ virgo jupiter: intelligent. problem-solver. great technical and analytical skills. loves to learn. many interests. perfectionist. realistic. optimistic outlook on mundane things. gravitates toward extremes. jupiter is in detriment here.

this is another good representation of how mic expresses himself. he takes the smaller details and more mundane things and turns them into something bigger and more expansive (jupiterian). this is a perfect example of why he always volunteers to commentate – he's taking something mundane and turning it into an opportunity / something more interesting.

❥ pisces saturn: compassionate. philosophical. introspective. aloof. hopeful. idealistic.

this is interesting. some people with saturn in pisces tend to overcompensate for these traits by trying to control things. and i think mic does this. he doesn't necessarily control situations – but people. his whole ~thing~ is crowd control and inspiring others. to me, this placement is about turning the greater good and your ideals into a career – which is exactly what mic has done. he's not only a hero but he does it in a way that's really in-your-face and brings his ideals to the forefront.

the rest of these planets are GENERATIONAL. i'll make this into its own page after i have more than one character with these same placements!

❥ gemini uranus: intelligent. perceptive. flexible. resourceful. values freedom and independence.

people with this placement are usually really good at learning new skills – and quickly. they're often able to focus on multiple things. and they have a lot of interests! that's one reason they value freedom – they want the freedom to follow their interests.

❥ libra neptune: idealistic. creative. has an eye for beauty. receptive. compassionate. tolerant. seeks harmony and balance. love of beauty and art.

people with this placement are usually really charming. these people love to be idealistic, but they're able to balance that with realism. mic does the best he can within his means and tries to inspire others to be as idealistic as he is.

❥ taurus pluto: a knack for making something out of nothing. persistent. enjoys comfort and beauty.

these people may obsess over money and material things. this could be why mic works so many jobs instead of just making his interests into hobbies!

❥ overall

as i said in the beginning, it's interesting to analyze someone so much older than the characters i've been analyzing. the older you get, the more your learned behaviors affect you and color the way things manifest. so it's important to take that into account too! that's why i really tried to focus on his internal motivations – which actually checks out as far as the amount of cancer placements he has. his internal world is intense. i didn't analyze his cancer stellium specifically because it seems like he's learned to mask his emotions pretty well with grandiose behavior (given to him by his leo placements). i do think this chart fits him, but i'll admit that this was a tough one! i also want to note that every time i reference "family" here, i'm referring to his found family. mic really sees his friends as family. again..... very cancer.

❥ chart

[angelsaxis]

Probably another unpopular opinion but I don't think like, a parent or adult figure not wanting their daughter to wear very revealing or tight clothing is the same as a misogynystic adult who is against it bc of like a desire to control women's bodies. Like yeah the human body is not inherently sexual but you'd have to be kidding me if you think that a lot of these fashion brands and what teen girls are exposed to and expected to emulate isn't the sexualized image of an adult woman. A lot of these fashion brands and clothing companies be having girls' clothing deliberately cut shorter and smaller and thinner. This is on purpose.

Lots of teen girls can't help how their bodies look naturally and no one who's reasonable would punish them for that. But lots of teen girls will dress the way they do because they're trying to grow up too quickly and theres nothing wrong with trying to put a stop on that because that desire to be an adult at 15 will fuck them up.

And also. It's good to be aware of like culturally where you are in your society if that makes sense. No woman or girl ever deserves to be harassed or catcalled for what they're wearing but men will absolutely take any outfit as an invitation. I've been harassed and catcalled while in a McDonald's uniform and I've been harassed and catcalled while wearing a regular A-line dress and tights and having all my skin covered. I've had these things happen to me more frequently the more decently dressed I am or the less I'm wearing. And yeah in a lot of ways it's affected how I dress when I go out sometimes (sometimes, not all the time). Freedom to wear what you want is valid and 100% true all of the time but that must also come with an awareness of risk versus reward, you know? And some parents know that and are trying to protect their kid from that. It's very much a safety issue since we live in such a terrible world and ATM there's no guarantee that a shitty man will stop being a shitty man any time soon.

Idk if what I'm saying is making sense.