#but this is a vaguely-spoiler-avoiding zone

[canary3d-obsessed]

Zhou Zishu Costume Appreciation, 20 of 24 (Word of Honor)

(masterpost)

Bonus: belt accessory Wen Kexing

[hottpinkpenguin]

Joel Miller X Fem!Reader - Last of Us - Part 4

A/N: read part 1 ! read part 2 ! read part 3 ! Taglist: @midgetpottermills @casssiopeia @flyingmushroomss @amethystwonders11 @hiphopdancer101universe @kiszkawagnerwhore @littleshadow17 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @alm0501 @ch4rcuterie @lodeddiperrodrick @amandalove1355

Warnings: dark themes; post-apocalyptic dystopia; death of reader's minor child; probably a lot of non-canon details since I've never played the game; not proofread; spoilers if you haven't seen the show/played the game Word Count: 3011 Abbreviations: QZ = quarantine zone; FDRA "Fedra" = Federal Disaster Response Agency

---

You arrived at the checkpoint well before midnight, thanks to a bright moon and no interruptions. The group had moved easily through the overgrown, bombed out streets of Boston. You didn’t know Boston, had only visited once before the outbreak, but Marlene and Damian had a map they consulted frequently. The checkpoint you were headed to wasn’t their usual rendezvous spot, and the route they used was clearly less traveled. After heading east for a few miles, they’d swung to the south, moving into what had been a working class neighborhood, when there had been such a thing. The houses were small, close together, and more battered than some of the other areas you passed through. 

You and the Fireflies plunged deep into the maze-like neighborhood until you were dizzy. You were glad that neither Damian nor Marlene had trouble with directions. 

After about the third hour of shuffling through the leaf-littered streets in silence, Marlene held up a fist. In unison, your group stopped where you were and dropped to your knees, flicking off your flashlights, eyes glued on the dark shape that was Marlene. You waited, your breath suddenly sounding as loud as a gong. You noticed a soft light flickering up ahead. A mirror, you realized, flicking back and forth in front of a flashlight to bend the beam in your direction. A code.

You were close to Marlene, immediately behind her right shoulder. You watched her eyes drink in the flicks of the mirrored light, piecing together the coded message. She was smart and shrewd, cold and ruthless. You liked her.

She rose quickly from her crouch, her posture relaxed. The rest of you followed suit, albeit a bit less eagerly without having received whatever message she’d seen. A whistle broke the dark quiet up ahead.

“Let’s go.” You followed Marlene and Damian forward towards a building you vaguely recognized as an old gas station at the end of the cross street you were on. A dead traffic light hung low on its wire a few feet off the cracked pavement in the center of the intersection directly in front of the gas station. 

As your group crossed into the parking lot of the gas station, figures started to appear, materializing from the darkness. The Fireflies had a network of smugglers and couriers spread out in the open territories between the major QZ’s. You’d met some of them before. They were strange in a way you could only imagine living in a hostile wasteland would make someone. Jumpy, paranoid, and brutal. Whether they’d chosen to live outside the QZ’s or that’s simply where fate had put them after the outbreak, it was clear that the window of opportunity to integrate them into a QZ society had long passed.

You didn’t recognize any of the faces in this crew. That didn’t seem unusual. Marlene told you that most of the open map crews she had contact with were too mobile to run into twice in a row. They didn’t stay in once place long enough to have repeat visits.

A huge man with a ghastly scar slashed across his face approached you, thrusting a full tankard of water into your hands. You nodded in thanks, avoiding looking at his disfigured face as you took a greedy sip. The harsh glow of the flashlights made him look like something out of a nightmare. 

Some of the crew greeted your group by name. The leader - an older, wiry-thin man with a faded baseball cap - exchanged a few curt words with Marlene before gesturing all of you to follow them into the gas station. Your instincts rattled in protest, causing you to hesitate a half beat. Something about that gas station set your teeth on edge. 

You fell in with the others, shuffling through the jammed open doors of the station. The shelves that had once been lined with bags of nuts, chewing gum, travel-size hygiene products, and road maps had been shoved to one side of the station. The walk-in freezer door was open towards the back corner, and you could see the warm glow of electric lights. You thought you could hear the low rumble of a small generator back there.

“Wait here.” Marlene’s orders were final. Everyone - even Damian - came to an uneasy loitering stop in the cleared out station. Marlene followed the pipe-cleaner thin man with the baseball cap towards the walk-in freezer, their voices low and inaudible. 

“Who is this person we’re meeting?” Steve asked, to no one in particular once Marlene was out of earshot. 

“Some kid.” The man with the scar bisecting his face spat rancid tobacco juice on the pavement just outside the station door. He leaned against the door frame, his eyes sweeping back and forth over the empty, dark street. His posture looked casual, but you could see his finger hovering a hair’s breadth off his rifle’s trigger. 

“What do you mean, a kid?” You were surprised to hear your own voice asking the question. 

“She’s a kid. Maybe sixteen, I dunno.” 

“Why’s she so fucking special?” Even Damian sounded uptight. A prickle of unease raked its fingers down your spine.

“I don’t know man, I don’t make the rules around here.” Scar Face sounded less on edge than the rest of you, but it wasn’t much reassurance. A tense quiet settled over the two groups as you all waited. 

You weren’t sure how long you waited, but it was long enough that by the time you heard Marlene’s boots on the concrete floor, you’d been sitting long enough for your ass to go numb. 

“Everyone, this is Ellie. She’s traveling back with us.” Marlene gestured to a short, pale-faced girl who’d walked out of the freezer at Marlene’s side. She wore an expression like she’d just been forced to drink sour milk. 

The wait proved anticlimactic, and you could feel a grumble of resentment begin to collect in your traveling companions as they all sized up the remarkably ordinary-looking girl you’d just traveled a dozen miles into the open city to retrieve. Even you were beginning to resent the lack of information around this girl.

“Same drill going back. No bullshit, no delays.” Marlene shook hands briefly with Baseball Cap before striding out of the gas station and back into the moonlit street. Baseball Cap’s crew followed you out. You saw something like relief in their haggard faces as Ellie fell in step right behind Marlene.

Marlene led the group out the way you came without a backwards glance. You were farther back from her and Damian this time. The mysteriously important teenaged girl with the piss-for-brains expression kept close behind the two leaders; the rest of you followed in loosely organized pairs. Steve was next to you, his eyes boring holes in the back of Ellie’s head. 

“I wonder what I’d need to do to get a goddamned armed escort through the open city,” he mumbled to you at one point. You didn’t reply, although it wasn’t out of disagreement. Your first few runs with Marlene had been to pick up incredibly valuable contraband: rare medicines and first aid supplies, cartridges of ammo, and propane tanks. But even then, with thousands of food credits on the line, you’d never seen Marlene and Damian act so cautiously. Every few blocks or so, they stopped to consult their map, mumbling in low tones as Damian pinched a flashlight between his shoulder and his cheek, tracing a finger over what you assumed could only be a number of alternative routes from your location back to the QZ. Occasionally their conference was brief, but at times it seemed more contentious. Whatever Ellie had - or whoever she was - her value had to be astronomical to warrant such hypervigilance. 

Even as you traced your way back towards the QZ, that gnawing sense of disquiet kept buzzing in the back of your head like a cloud of gnats. You knew the others felt it too. The silence was different this trip. It had a scent of fear to it that hadn’t been there on the first leg. All around you, the moon cast a spectral glow over the decaying city. You didn’t let yourself look too long into the shadows. 

You were halfway back to the QZ, balanced in a crouch on the balls of your feet, when Steve tried to talk to you again. 

“What the fuck is taking so long?” 

He’d been steadily losing what little patience he possessed at each stoppage on the route back. 

“Keep it together, Steve,” you urged him, your voice low and placating. 

“Nah, this is bullshit. The sun’s gonna be up by the time we get back to QZ. And I ain’t spending another day out here for some big wig’s spoiled brat.” 

The running hypothesis that Steve had landed on regarding Ellie’s value was that she was related to someone high up in the QZ, and they’d hired Marlene to fetch and deliver her. It wasn’t a half-bad idea. Something about the girl’s surly attitude made you think otherwise, and you couldn’t begin to fathom how she’d ended up in the Firefly network to begin with, but that information was above your paygrade. 

Steve was practically vibrating out of his boots with anger next to you. The darkness felt claustrophobic around you, the moon drifting in and out of cloud cover. 

After a few moments of tension, you heard Steve spring up next to you. 

“Marlene, Damian, can we get the show on the fucking road here?”

His voice was louder than it should have been. You saw the rest of the group wince at the disruption. 

Marlene ignored him, instead signaling down a narrow alley to the northwest between two ramshackle office buildings, one with a faded awning that read DRUG MART. 

“No fucking way. That’s the opposite goddamn direction of the QZ!” 

Steve’s temper was beginning to wear off the edges of his caution. His voice, while still not at normal volume, was burgeoning on a shout whisper. Silence was important in the open city as the infected were drawn to it. His recklessness only increased the group’s collective unease. 

Damian and Marlene approached him, trying to diffuse his mounting anger. Damian held his hand out, palm down in a conciliatory gesture.

“This is the route we’re taking. Shortcut.”

For all your resentment at Steve for threatening detection from the infected, you didn’t buy Damian’s lie for a minute. 

“Bullshit. I’m not going that way.”

Steve was digging his heels in. You saw the surly teenager shoot him a dark glare. The rest of the group shifted restlessly, casting worried glances over your shoulders as the pressure mounted between Steve and Damian.

“This is the way we’re all going,” Damian insisted, his voice dropping so low it was almost a growl.

“Fuck that. The rest of you can waffle around out here, risk your necks for a goddamned pimple-faced brat, but not me. I’m heading back. I didn’t sign up for this.”

You heard the unmistakable metallic click of Steve cocking his gun as he lifted the rifle, aiming it squarely at Ellie’s chest. She was a few paces away from him, Merlene and Damian flanking her and a half step ahead. 

Time seemed to slow as the escalating argument slipped sideways into chaos.

You heard the shot rip open the silence before your brain registered that Damian had unholstered the handgun at his hip. Steve wavered on his feet before his knees buckled under him. He fell first to his knees, the rifle in his hand clanking loudly to the pavement as blood trickled from his lips. Steve’s face went white as he slumped forward and went still. 

You breathed through a half second of pure, terrified silence before you heard it. Softly, so quiet at first you didn’t believe it. But then, a few seconds later, there it was again, louder this time.

Click. Click click clickclickclick.

You felt your muscles seize up with adrenaline as your mind launched into hyperspeed. 

The infected.

They burst out of the buildings behind you like a swarm of bees. It was a horde, the largest you’d ever seen. At the front were the clickers, the oldest of the infected, their faces blasted open from the top of their skulls to reveal large, repulsive fungal growths where their brains had once been. They ran on two legs, their distinctive clicking sounds resonating in their rotted-out mouths as they launched towards your group with a speed you could never hope to match. Behind the clickers were the rest of the infected, some of them resembling their human hosts more than others, some running on all fours while others tottered unsteadily on half-rotted legs. You’d never seen so many. Pure, blinding panic rendered you immobile as you gaped at the swarm. 

“RUN!”

Marlene’s scream was enough to break the spell. You scrambled to your legs, unable to make them move fast enough as they slipped on the slightly damp pavement. You careened towards the alley next to the Drug Mart, leaping over Steve’s crumpled body. Damian, Marlene, and Ellie were ahead of you, a few of your group mates behind you. From over your shoulder, you heard a bone-chilling shriek of someone overtaken by the horde. You willed yourself forward, your backpack pounding against your shoulders. 

“SPLIT UP!” 

You burst out of the narrow alley into another suburban street. Instinct pulled you to the right. You let your feet carry you that way, the sounds of the infected roaring in your ears as the horde squeezed through the alley behind you.

Damian and Ellie were in front of you. Damian was dragging the girl by the neck of her hoodie, her legs struggling to keep up with the adult man’s full-out sprint. The sound of footfalls behind you signaled that there were two, maybe three others, running in the same direction. A smattering of gunshots pierced the night. 

You risked a backwards glance over your shoulder. The infected were gaining on you, only a few dozen paces behind you now. They seemed to swallow the street behind you like locusts, climbing over the abandoned vehicles scattered through the neighborhood with ease. 

The street banked upward, the incline causing your lungs to burn like fire. You drove your knees harder, your hands splayed out in front of you as you came perilously close to losing your footing on a sunken manhole cover. You caught your fall on the side of an upended propane truck, the skin on your palm ripping open against the metal of the truck chassis. Gritting through the bolt of pain that shot up through your arm, you used whatever you could grab from the truck to propel yourself back into a sprint, shedding the deadweight of your backpack as you did.  Damian and Ellie remained in front of you, the girl sobbing as Damian hauled her forward, but you were gaining on them. The footfalls of the other group members had dwindled now to one. You heard more gunshots from further in the opposite direction. 

“Y/N, take her!” Damian swung around, firing into the oncoming mob of infected. He thrust the teenager towards you like a sack of potatoes. She lost her footing as you reached her, grabbing her hoodie roughly and doing your best to pick her up. 

Your mind struggled to understand Damian’s instructions. You could see from the wan moonlight that the street ahead of you was rising in a steeper incline. You couldn’t possibly outrun the clickers with that kind of a hill. 

“Take cover! Get out of the street!” Damian was waving you away, off to the side of the road. You followed his instructions, herding Ellie towards an abandoned house. You turned back just in time to see the explosion of the propane tank from the overturned truck shred the darkness. The force of the blast hit you in the back, sending you flying up the rotten steps of the house you were aiming for. You felt a sickening crunch from your ribs as your side connected with the wooden banister at the top of the stairs. Ellie scrambled up the stairs beside you. The door to the house was open, mercifully, and she disappeared inside. Your hands clawed at the splintering wood as you fought to stay conscious. You felt a few fingernails rip off as you dragged your body upright, lurching through the doorway. You grabbed at the door leaning off its bottom hinge, using your weight to close the door as Ellie threw the deadbolt beside you. 

Your breath came hard and jagged as you doubled over in pain, your back still braced on the door of the house. The air inside smelled musty and foul; the windows were boarded over, and the sounds of the street outside were muffled somewhat. You hoped against hope that none of the infected were tracking you; you knew you didn’t have any strength left to run or fight. For a few rapsing breaths, you listened and waited. All you could hear were the crackling sounds of flames and the cacophony of screeching as the infected burned up like kindling. 

You let yourself sink down to your haunches against the door. Ellie was still standing, bracing her hands on her knees against the door. 

Minutes dragged on as the sounds of the street died down outside. You could see orange shadows dancing across the mold-ridden walls in the room to your left, so you knew that the other side of the street was burning. You registered idly that you and Ellie should keep moving and not risk a stray spark catching the wind in an unfavorable direction. But you couldn’t bring yourself to move, exhaustion and terror and pain keeping you grounded to the floor. You weren’t sure how long you waited and listened, but just before you gave in to a mix of sleep and unconsciousness, you saw the faint light of daybreak slant through the boarded up window…

read part 5 **let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters! ty to everyone showing this series so much love!

[redshoes-blues]

Just so people who follow me and want to avoid Doctor Who 60th spoilers know: I’ll be tagging spoilers with “#dw spoilers” for the first week of each episode airing. And I’m trying to tag any vague interview speculation stuff with the same tag before then. But this will be a spoiler zone, so, stay safe out there!

[therummonster]

*vibrating intensifies*

so. the monster debacle.

spoiler warning for episode 26 in the Multiverse Tales playlist Redemption of the Were-Jaguar. you've been warned!

from what i've seen all monsters they've become are also a slight reflection of their experiences and self.

EXHIBIT A!!! Vasilia Kuznet

Vasilia becomes a were-jaguar, which of course the obvious is her experience with hunting were-beasts. the second thing can be seen in the above image, she's very confident in just the air around her, but needed to change her own perspective on this other form.

also the finale of that episode was literally Gangadharan was finally trusting Vasilia despite the constant evasion of her fanged form.

EXHIBIT B!!! Astra [Redacted]

Astra becomes a skin walker. she has a tendency to change her identity when in a rough zone. examples: Diamos, Tatyana, and even the dragon form.

although i was a bit confused on why hyena specifically, because before i was researching for this, i mostly saw deer versions of the skin walkers. y'know, like how most people draw wendigos. so here's that info.

EXHIBIT C!!! Charlie/Mikayla Maciel

Bio-MeKayla became a sparking ghoul. the sparking part is obvious, Charlie is a machine based lifeform, and robotics tend to use some form of electricity.

but it's interesting to see that Charlie becomes this twisted version of his worst self, the part of him that's just like every other bio mech they're looking for.

the increased hostility and tendency to control their victims. that parasitic behavior near identical to a symbiote. examples of this behavior: Obi, Emerald Tyrannus, Terror Claw, Fin-Walker, Firecross Dragon.

the controlling part is easy to find in their meeting. he blindly takes control of Kayla and just asks her to try balancing. of course we can mark that up to being completely in a panic at the thought of getting cannibalized.

another fun detail, this corruption also seems to dissolve parts of Kayla to the bone. as you can see with Kayla's corrupt arm. could be a reminder of the slime drake, but without knowing what the leg looks like that is shooting into the dark.

EXHIBIT D!!! Champagne McGregor

champagne becomes a hybrid dinosaur/lizard man. i've already done my reasearch for him a while ago, there's nothing i can pull from mythology. what i can pull is his correspondence.

aka: his job and history. he created monsters of his own that were searching for their next chance of survival, be it food or safety.

heck he even lost his arm to a mutated freakshow of a tyrannosaurus.

exhibit e, the thing giving me the most trouble: Benny Sharp

Benny becomes a jersey swamp skulker. not much to refer to unless you want table top rpg ideas. and even if i do refer to other swamp lurking mythology, there's honestly nada. no fishy abominations i've found from movies are good references either... so we just gotta go off the THREE LINES that gangadharan gives.

this is a human that touched a cursed barnacle. they can propel themselves through the water at extremely quick speeds to the point the best way to hunt them down is to get them on dry land. they also have sharp blades on their forearms. wow. what help.

alrighty, time to bs my way through this... i'm probably gonna move around exhibits so we get me struggling to deal with this guy at the end.

literally what do i pull from???? the monster simply doesn't exist. it is there, it was created for one purpose: and that was a community redraw. hfffffffffff. i even finally tried to check out what swamp skulker is in the ttrpg. it's a sea roomba. with a vague appearence of an axolotl crustacean.

not even kidding. anyways, back to shooting in the dark with a leaf.

obviously the outer shell is there in place of the mech armor he was no doubt wearing. the ability to propel itself at high speeds as to avoid danger could be equal to his tendency to run in the past if things were getting too... dangerous for others.

but my main confusion is: why water? he's honestly never really interacted with it. literally one of his key sayings is basically "if a mech can't fly, it's not worth it." so maybe that shows that he doesn't have any worth in his eyes?????

the extra mouth like cover being of course kinda like a mask, maybe showing the fact he usually is counted as the positive "don't worry, we can win if we go fist fight god!" despite me staring at every trauma past christmas demons.

[simowis]

Discussing 'A Fire Upon the Deep' after reading - with Javik

<Tines>

Spoilers everywhere ↓ *translated by Deepl

Tines：

He noticed that I loved the Tines. After all, I’d just figured out the concept of the Tines. I enjoyed the vividness of the author's descriptions, the switching of points of view, the silky smooth way in which the concept of the Tines was introduced…

"Wait!" he said. "I don't think they'll be able to compete with single organic beings like us. They need at least four 'packs' to form an intelligent soul, that's a big weakness." He paced. "But these 'group minds' can observe far more than we can with their radios, and it can manoeuvre multiple devices at once while wielding up to eight weapons. It would have to be reduced to only three 'packs' on the battlefield before it could possibly be disabled, a formidable opponent indeed." He turned his head, "HF sound wave! It must use its radios to disperse into small units, jamming them will turn it back into individual organs. The physiology that relies on high frequency vibrations to think outside the body is also its great weakness."

I flipped through the book, pointing out that they were still in the Middle Ages, the potential of their race left much to be imagined: such as the triadic work cycle model depicted in the book; those massive walls of bodyguards composed of endless tines 'packs'… He lifted his head, "Yes, with cloning they can achieve immortality by simply replacing 'packs', much easier to achieve than us monoliths. They can also use it to make multiple copies of themselves." Yes, but we have cloning technology too. I was thinking about Shepard's clone… "Is that Shepard's own personality?" Javik denied it, Our monolithic clones can’t achieve that with enough accuracy, but the Tines might have been able to."

I can easily imagine them preserving their own personalities by replacing cloned 'packs' and freezing the 'packs' with their own memories, much easier indeed than the technology of human cloning. There were examples in the Middle Ages of them living for hundreds of years - 'Pilgrim' and 'Woodcarver', a race that could touch immortality too easily. "Living too long is not a good thing." Javik's eyes flashed dangerously, "Class entrenchment, corruption, monopolies - a society like that won't last long. Eternal domination is nothing but a nice fantasy. Even our leaders need to be replaced with new blood on a regular basis."

It occurs to me that their packs are only capable of animal-level thinking, does that inhibit the Prothean’s ability to sense touch?? Interesting, very interesting. Javik, can you envision the cycle of the Tines ruling the galaxy? He shook his head, “I don’t see them having that potential, and they probably don’t taste good, with so little flesh. We Protheans would not approve of their ascension. But their social structures are worth maintaining an observatory in orbit around their home planet." There was some awkwardness in the air as he avoided the subject, so I resumed my reading.

The medieval Queen of Tines was an artist, she could paint and sculpt, so… what style of music might they have? Did the diaphragms of the 'packs' produce any frequencies or particular rhythms? Javik scoffed, "Sound is their outward thought, do you think they'd turn themselves into a bunch of animals just for the pleasure of sound art?" He laughed in a deep voice. "Hmmmmmmm… that's a good point. All that crazy 'electronic music' in your human pubs could easily kill them!" This Prothean suggested to me in the worst possible way that 'music' might not exist for the Tines.

 "Zones of Thought"

The concept of 'Zones of Thought' in this book was so vague that I didn't enjoy it very much. How well Tines was written, how badly the 'Zones of Thought' was written,  and I couldn't immerse myself in that aspect of the book. As with the 'Blight', it is vague and unclear as to how the ultimate threat will be subdued. His knowledge of this can only be based on my reading experience. But he reviewed it anyway.

"This super-intelligence, 'Blight', can take control of human-level organisms, make the Skroders rebel… It works a bit like the Reapers." He leaned against the sink, "But it's just high-level AI without a body, at least we don't have to use our bodies to fight it. And the Internet isn't much of a problem for us Protheans, either." Yes, you Protheans don't trust machines.  You don’t rely on them too much. I sort of wanted to retort, but… ah… the author had not simply described exactly how 'Blight' infiltrates and controls humans. "Exactly, I need to know how they do it first, so I can figure out how to counter it." He said: "Let's stop this, there's no point in discussing it further. Besides, no one in my galaxy can exceed the speed of light." Well, don't you think it's possible that we could use the 'Zones of Thought' to control the Reapers? I asked. "If it does exist, then the Reapers are the ones who did it to us first." Javik closed his eyes. "They're far beyond our technology."

[ellenent]

Triangle Strategy spoilers!

Just finished playing the Golden route! Finally got my happy ending ;w;

If they showed us more about the wedding I would cry lol but yeah, I was so happy!! I know maybe this ending is too optimistic, but after seeing the other endings, I don't care lol

Also, I saw this and I'm like Anna is so short? kdjfkdj She looks like a child

Or Benedict is too tall? I wish we had the height chart for all of them, didn't know Serenoa is also higher than Frederica (in my head they had the same height)

I was wondering if they would reunite, I was happy that they did! Of course I would prefer like a scene where they meet again and talk "hey I'm your mother" (and I was expecting something like this in the battle with Lyla, but the dialog was kinda vague). And now I feel kinda bad for killing her in Frederica's route ops But Anna can still adopt Quahuag, she already got Decimal adopted lol I think I missed the final side story of him, but it's okay I think

I really liked the part that Serenoa finds another path option; I tried to think for myself what the solution would be, and I was pretty satisfied with the plan!

He looks so sad and small lol

The part where they divide the regiments caught me off guard; at first I was in panic, because I was so used to my favorite units, that I wasn't sure if I would succeed in the battles. Not knowing how they would go, which characters would fit the best the strategy and not being able to change them later got me nervous lol but I tried to balance all regiments (put at least one mage in each, one archer, etc) and leveled up the characters I didn't like to use that much (and later realize some were great actually!). The Frederica's regiment was the one without a unit, I never got to recruit Cordelia, so If I replayed the game again in the future, I would go for her! But the Benedict's battle was the hardest, at least I knew a strategy that would work best because of that one battle in the first chapters of the game.

And I really like how the battles went! I liked that even I couldn't edit the units, if you got a good strategy, you can work it out! I think I just didn't like that I couldn't edit the rings each character got (like Benedict had one that I wished to remove and give to a character in another regiment, so yeah makes sense we couldn't do this). Anyway I was happy to get out of my comfort zone for a bit!

The revelation of the hierophant was a little weird for me, because I already didn't expect it to be a person lol actually I didn't even think something was behind the curtain lmao to see it was a robot was the least of my problems. The battle against Idore was way harder on Frederica's route, this one was pretty okay after I killed all the automatons. I liked that all the characters had something to say to him lol

Overall, I really really enjoyed this game! I like tactics and political games like Fire Emblem, but I liked this even better; it feels more realistic, the gameplay is harder too (at least for me that likes to over level my units, TriStrat said I couldn't lol), the fact you have to make decisions all the time and they all have consequences is pretty nice and made my anxious lol convincing the others to vote for the path you wanted made me feel good lol I was a little afraid of playing this because I didn't like Octopath Traveler that much, so it was a great surprise for me! :D

I haven't done Benedict or Roland's route yet, but now I'm at 100 hours and I feel I must play another game right now lol and I don't know if I have the heart to do them actually lol I want to make some fanart aaaa I already read lots of fanfic, avoiding spoilers, but now I'm free lol

[adelar-ward]

I created a perfect visual of my Saeran de Winter, MC of “Creme de la creme” (and also the teacher in an off-canon walkthrough of “Royal Affairs”), amazing interactive novels by @hpowellsmith.

---

Saeran is smart and observant, good at accepting the rules of the game... and also figuring out the way to bend rules they don’t like. They’re caring, supportive, and protective for those they’re close with, aren't afraid to get on someone's bad side for them, but won’t care much for everyone else. Though they prefer to avoid any damage to anyone even if it requires more effort, if saving everyone isn’t possible... well, charity begins at home. They know where their loyalty lies and would choose to save one person they love over a hundred people they don't know.

They can be rebellious, especially when they feel mistreated, but they have good manners and know how to be prim and proper if required. It's not easy to make them lose their temper, because the angrier they are in the inside, the sweeter and more courteous they become on the outside.

They’re good with poker face, and they can be really cheeky. Like teasing someone in a way that makes a person wonder if Saeran taunts them or blatantly flirts with them, making it look like they privately smile to their own thoughts rather than openly tease, and that's what baffles people the most, with a mix of annoyed and amused. Especially Blaise with whom Saeran has really explosive hot and cold chemistry and would make a perfect couple. But they married Hartmann, yeah, it's... complicated. There's crush and chemistry, and there's love and responsibility. They have very different but equally strong feelings for both, and they would choose both if they could. At least hopefully they will be able to help Hartmann and Blaise become friends again.

(more text about their personality, appearance, and sexuality ahead, and beware some vague spoilers to "Blood money" after the second picture)

Depending on the situation, they can be very soft and quiet, with very careful movements, or they can be loud and gesture wildly. In an ideal world, an ideal comfort zone, Saeran would be a softie. In reality, they often have to be assertive to carry their point or protect themselves from being bossed around and manipulated, but it doesn't come easy, they're much less self-assured than they appear. But also they're careful and prefer to avoid reckless promises and decisions using persuading (and subtle manipulation if needed).

---

They're panromantic sex-positive asexual, meaning they don't really want or need to get physical, but don't feel unsafe or uncomfortable about it either, so they're okay with being intimate with their partner when the partner needs it or the mood takes them. It doesn't give them much physical pleasure (if any) but the emotional response they get from their partner and the vulnerability they're trusted with are worth it.

Despite their love for teasing people with their maybe-taunts-maybe-flirt, they aren't actually flirty and become more genuine and confiding with people they care for, but not seductive. They aim to touch the soul, not body. For example, they didn't try to flirt with Hartmann at all - they were here for him when he needed it, they nudged him when he felt lost and they took care of him when he forgot to take care of himself, they even gave his mother a piece of their mind. But they never flirted. Actually, it was Hartmann who demanded to know if they have any feelings for him. As for blatant flirting with Blaise, well, Blaise got what he deserved, no one bullies Saeran and goes unpunished. :D

---

Saeran prefers to appear androgynous and wears neither too masculine nor too feminine clothes, or a combination of both, but they aren’t overly bothered, so if some event would require a specific dressing code, they would just... actually, they would probably find a way around the code and add some non-conventional details. Like "you told me to wear a dress and i'm wearing it, but you never told me not to wear jodhpurs and a hat with it". This event actually occurred in their teenage years, they even sewed the whole night so that the hem of the dress could be raised with ribbons in the front for jodhpurs to be visible. After that, they were left to their own fashion devices and became less chaotic in their outfits since they had no more need to be rebellious and carry their point :)

They’re pretty tall and very thin, not curvy at all, and pale as fuck, especially in “Blood money” game (again, by hpowellsmith, because i will never not play games they make) where Saeran is really unhealthy pale in comparison to their family with much healthier appearance, due to *cough* constant blood loss *cough* and going in and out of the underworld which takes a toll. Come to think of it, i might try to create Fuchsia and Otavia as well because i have very strong and mixed feelings about them...

And here i forgot to mention that Saeran is one of my three permanent MCs who i integrate into different settings because i love them so much that i just can’t get enough of them. They started as MC of “Mysteries of baroque” (even though i only scratched the surface of their personality back then), then "CDLC", with an AU appearance in "Royal affairs", and then "Blood money" (with another surname, but still them). Probably not the last one, if the setting will fit them.

Speaking about “Blood money”, behold a person who got themselves into a big stinky mess because after all that they've accomplished, all that they have won by being careful and cunning, they let the momentary pang of pride and envy get the better of them. And now they're on the losing side because initially they've worked their ass out to help the winning side win, and as the cherry on top, the person that has feelings for them is working (thanks to them) for the side they just betrayed. Really, Saeran. And here i thought you were smart. Really, i stopped yesterday somewhere after that and now i’m scared to continue playing because i high key expect the consequences of Saeran’s decisions to bite their ass off, and very soon.

(an old picrew of Saeran i still love so much)

[peachdoxie]

so i just finished the Mistborn trilogy (loved it omg it was amazing) and, maybe due to your blog (by maybe i mean definitely) I now want to read Stormlight Archive but I was wondering if there is any queer representation in it, since Mistborn left me wanting a little?

Yes, there is queer representation in Stormlight! It's not much, but considering that the vast majority of fiction contains zero queer characters, it's something. I'll list them out below.

Warning for minor spoilers

Shallan Davar. Bisexual woman via Word of Brandon. Fans pointed out that Shallan seemed attracted to a woman in the first book, so Brandon retroactively made that canon. It only comes up a few times throughout the books.

Drehy. Man who is "courting a man." Only referenced once in the third book and does not specify his sexuality.

Jasnah Kholin. Asexual woman who experiences intellectual attraction. Brandon wrote a detailed reddit post about this shortly before the fourth book was released last month explaining how he decided to make Jasnah ace. One of her POV chapters spends some time talking about her experience with (a lack of) sexual attraction. It's canon in every sense save for actually using the word "asexual."

Ral-na. Transgender man. The king of an island nation, he is afab in the second book. In the novella set between books three and four, Dawnshard, the POV character mentions that he now presents as a man, due to gaining the magic powers of the series. It is also confirmed that the magic powers enabled him to physically transition from a female body to a male body.

Those are the four canon/Word of Brandon canon queer characters in the books, as best I recall (@the fandom please list any I missed). There are a few honorable mentions of characters who are coded as queer in some respect, but how canonical any of these are is unknown.

Kaladin Stormblessed. Man who has expressed little romantic or sexual attraction to other people, save for two women (well, technically one was a teenager when he was a teenager), but only briefly. My reading of him is that he's demisexual or gray ace, though this may be proven wrong in future books.

Renarin Kholin. Man. Due to some comments Brandon has made about the way the magic works in Stormlight, some people have speculated that Renarin is gay. However, there is no canonical evidence for this. Furthermore, Renarin's relationship to gender is complicated because he is disabled (autistic and epileptic and wears glasses) which has interfered with his ability to live up to the masculine ideals of a highly gender-regimented society. Whether or not this he can be considered "queer" is a matter of debate because of the intersection of gender and disability.

Several characters of one of the non-human races in Stormlight. I'm keeping this vague to avoid spoilers, but several characters of this race have mentioned they had little interest in "mating" with others. It's difficult to apply the word "queer" to them because, as beings with non-human bodies, their relationships to gender and sexuality are not like ours. However, certain readings may find their disinterest in mating to be metaphoric for asexuality. It is not a significant part of the story.

There's another example that might count as being transgender, but the process by which it happens is a fairly major spoiler, so I won't detail it here. It is not a significant part of the story.

The ardents. More or less the monks of the dominant religion of the main characters. They are essentially a non-gendered category of humans that anyone of any gender can join, socially transitioning to a genderless class of monks. While they fall outside our world's gender binary and in that respect queer, they are not considered as such in the context of the fictional world.

It can sometimes be difficult to determine with Brandon's works since sex and sexual attraction play barely any role in his books, so a lot of characters are in that "straight until proven queer" default zone. However, Brandon has stated that he's working to incorporate more queer characters into his books since he's heard from queer fans about how important representation is, so I'm hoping that more queer characters will appear in future books.

Also, if you haven't read it yet, Mistborn era 2 has a badass wlw gunsmith in it, though that's also only briefly referenced.

[pathological-peoplepleaser-alert]

Hospital Playlist : Season 1

So, I recently re-watched season 1 of Hospital Playlist in preparation of season 2 that’s going to be released on the 17th of June, and I have a couple of thoughts that I want to share. Warning: It’s going to be filled with spoilers, so for those looking to avoid that, please don’t read more. Also, this is a looooonnnnggg one :)

“Hospital Playlist” is a Korean Drama that follows five doctors in their 40s who have been best friends since adolescence as they form a band together. While the log-line appears simple, the depth in the script and acting will enchant any audience. The narrative is free-spirited and quirky, reverberating friendships forged by love and time in a heart-warming style.

This slice of life drama realistically tackles what occurs within the white walls of the hospital. From ungrateful patients to the long wait for donors, it has it all. This drama covered plenty of cases, each of them as sad as the next. I recall when Yang Seok Hyeong, an assistant professor of obstetrics and gynaecology, had a patient who delivered a baby with anencephaly. He was considerate enough to not allow the mother to hear the baby’s cries by playing loud music in the delivery room and quickly escorting the baby away from the mother. I teared up during that scene, and I still tear up just thinking about that. I watched it as a case in a K-Drama, but it is many people’s gruesome reality, and all I can offer are my sympathies.

Despite zoning out during the technical aspects and elucidation of medical terminologies, I could feel the gravity of an operation and the burden of Atlas resting on the doctors when they held the scalpel. I liked the fact that there wasn’t any hospital politics. Rather, the show focused on the doctors, as they tried their best to save their patients. I mourned during the losses of life and celebrated with the characters after a successful surgery.

The ensemble cast for “Hospital Playlist” was flawless. The sincerity of the actors and the efforts they had put into studying and understanding their roles were clear as day. The chemistry between them was organic and the banters, natural. While they didn’t verbalise every emotion, the viewers could feel their familiarity, like they were real-life friends on screen. I was on an emotional rollercoaster as I watched this, rooting for them through hardships and cheering whenever they laughed.

“I wondered why my life was getting so difficult. It was really tough. But all of a sudden, one day, I realised how much time I was wasting. Wasting my life away like this because of what she did to me was doing a disservice to myself.”

Jo Jung-Suk did a flawless job portraying Lee Ik-Jun. This was my second time witnessing a drama with Jo Jung Suk, and while I wouldn’t applaud his performance in “Oh, My Ghostess!” (But in his defence, I found that script to be problematic) I absolutely loved him in “Hospital Playlist”. Lee Ik-Jun is an assistant professor of general surgery. He’s funny, sociable, laid-back, charming, and a dotting, single father to his son, Woo Joo.

The first time I, as the viewer, was introduced to him was gold. Naughty little Woo Joo had managed to put a blotch of super glue to a Darth Vader helmet, which was later worn by his father. During an emergency at the hospital, Ik Jun showed up decked in Darth Vader gear and bravely holding a light saber, demanding that the helmet was unglued from his head. He got his wish, but only after performing surgery while wearing the helmet.

Watching Ik-Jun and his son together is heartwarming, to say the least. You can tell how much he loves his son, as seen by the way he prepared meatballs from scratch, including the ketchup, excitedly for his son, only for the latter to claim he wanted meatballs, causing the former to trip on his way to the kitchen. I also adore how most of the bonding scenes we see between them happens over sandwiches. I find that very precious.

Ik Jun is also very friendly to everyone. He warmly welcomes the medical students, greets his colleagues with a smile, and most notably, plays as a matchmaker between Jeong-won and Jang Gyeo-wool, even if it is so the latter could assist him on more surgeries. His relationship with his sister is also beautiful. I love how authentic they are, from their bickering and the hidden ways they care for each other.

Ik Jun provides comic relief plenty of times— I nearly fell off my chair laughing when he mimicked a train, and also upon seeing how adamant he was to eavesdrop on a private phone conversation of Kim Jun-wan.

“I don’t deserve to be a doctor. I can’t control my emotions. I empathise too easily.”

I must admit, Ahn Jeong Won has a soft spot in my heart and is my favourite from the group of friends. An assistant professor of pediatric surgery, Jeong Won gets overly attached to patients and takes every loss personally. Due to his sensitive nature, he’s detailed in everything he does, earning the teasing nickname of “Buddha” from his colleagues.

Hardworking but overemotional, there have been many instances when Jeong Won swears to quit being a doctor after a patient has unfortunately succumbed, and it’s only through the insistence of his oldest brother does he continue his job. He’s immensely religious and has a close relationship with God, and considered being a priest until the season finale.

His interactions with his young patients tug on all my heartstrings. From the gentle way he gets the permission of small children to check their vitals, to the dedication with which he treats his patients and dissolves their fears.

One of my favourite quotes of this drama was said by him, “Do you know why doctors only give vague answers such as ‘We can’t be sure yet,’ ‘We don’t know yet,’ and ‘We need to observe a bit more?’ Doctors must take responsibility for their words, so we must be careful. There’s only one thing we, as doctors, can tell our patients with certainty. ‘We will do our best.’”

Despite being born from a wealthy family, Jeong Won is nearly broke, spending all his fortune anonymously covering the hospital fees of poor patients.

Chae Song Hwa summarised Jeong Won’s personality neatly in episode 12 when she said, “Lastly, there’s you (Jeong Won). Seeing others enjoy good food makes you happier than when you are eating it yourself.”

“If the doctor gives up on the patient, he isn’t a doctor anymore.”

At first glance, Kim Jun Wan appears cold and scary, but there are so many dimensions to his character. He’s blunt, assertive and has a reputation for telling his patients what they need to hear, not that they want to hear.

However, he’s possibly the most caring person, having allowed Jeong Won to, in his own words, “mooch” of him for years now. He was also always nagging and hovering over his friends, keeping a stash of chocolates for them. He stepped up as the Chief of the cardiothoracic surgery department multiple times, whether it was to act as a shield to his mentee or to reprimand his juniors about the importance of (a patient’s) life and how every single decision taken by a doctor has to be thoughtful and absolute because there’s no way to reverse such things.

A great example of his outer versus inner personality is when he’s questioned by a medical student on why he chose to be a cardiothoracic surgeon. While he claimed that he became a surgeon after asking his professor which job would allow him to get the most money, with a glimpse of a flashback scene, it was revealed that when back as a student, Jun Wan was given the opportunity to witness a surgery and then, to touch a beating human heart, and felt life, that solidified his decision to choose cardiology as his field. Recalling that scene gives me goosebumps even now. That was magical.

Jun Wan is also a huge foodie, his only competition being Song-Hwa.

“What have you done for yourself lately?”

Chae Song Hwa is an associate professor of neurosurgery. Discerning without being too critical, she is intelligent and is often the mother hen of the group. Respected by her juniors, she has also been fondly dubbed the ‘ghost’ due to her busy schedule that has left several of her colleagues wondering whether she has time to eat or sleep. She was everywhere and knew everything, which allowed her to quietly look after the residents of the hospital and the patients.

Despite being buried under piles of work, she still made the time to grade her juniors papers, and I’m reminded of one of the first instances the viewers were given of her, which was when she comforted a patient in the elevators of a hospital. The only female professor in neurosurgery, she is kind to her patients.

I adore how decisive she is, being extremely clear about what she wants, drawing boundaries while still being friendly and radiating professionalism to those around her, despite the hardships she might be going through. She routinely goes camping during the weekend and is the embodiment of positive self-love.

Some of my favourite moments in this drama was literally just Song Hwa and Jun Wan aggressively eating like they’ve been hungry since the dawn of time. Song Hwa might have claimed that the reason she ate so rapidly, so full of zeal was because of growing up with older brothers, but Ik Jun was quick to shoot her down and note that they all looked boney.

“My time is too precious for that. I want to live doing the things I like. And the things I want to do right now.”

Probably the most under-appreciated character, Yang Seok Hyeong is a treasure. My first opinion of him was ‘mama’s boy’ and while I was correct, wow, I had not expected the reason why. In his youth, Seok Hyeong was not close to his mother at all, and we could even see him ignoring her phone calls. But after everything that happened with his dad, he grew closer to his mother, developed a new sense of protectiveness and appreciation for her, and I adore that.

He was also the reason the band reunited in the first place, making that his condition for working at the Yulje Medical Center. Despite seeming aloof, he was an open book to his friends. He didn’t like to bother or intrude on people and usually kept to himself, gaining a reputation for being a loner whenever he was not around his four friends.

Throughout the season, he was trapped in a whirlwind of turmoil, from the news of his unexpected brother to his father’s death and his surprise succession to the company he wants no ties with. He maintains a calm exterior and braces through the troubles.

Seok Hyeong lives up to the sensitivity his job demands from him, softly informing expecting mothers about the risks of their pregnancies while encouraging and empathising with them when things get hard.

He prefers to stay in the shadows and allow people the opportunity to sort their messes out themselves, after reminding them that he’s only a call away if they need him. He’s an excellent confident booster and appreciates those who are responsible.

These characters stayed not only in my mind but also in my heart. Each of them has such vivid personalities I can’t entirely capture in words. Their insecurities, struggles, and feelings were so real and incredibly relatable and easy to empathise with.

As conveyed by the title, music plays an important part in this T.V. serial, by allowing the characters to reminisce their college days and also allowing them a breather from their stressful life. There are thousands of words in the English language, and yet, I can’t string together enough of them to express how I felt when Jo Jung Seok sang Aloha.

The doctors use music not only as an outlet to release their frustrations, but also to express their thoughts and feelings. To heal. Listening to the songs and the covers made by the band lightened my heart. The labour they put into practising the songs made the moments more precious.

Through the music sessions in this T.V. serial, I found my affection for each character increasing. I found myself surprised to recognise some of the songs considering they are quite old, but I hummed along and felt the air around me thrum with glee as they sang.

I also found it rather ironic that Chae Song Hwa is considered to be a bad singer (her pre-routine of gulping down raw eggs fascinated me on an odd level) although the actress who plays her, Jeon Mi Do is a talented singer.

Therapeutic and well-written, I marvel at the writer’s ability to weave together arrays of mundane subplots into endearing bliss, leaving lingering positivity after every episode along with a yearning to watch more.

I’m a huge fan of writer Lee Woo-Jung’s Reply series and was hesitant to start this drama, afraid that it would fall short of expectations. But having watched it, I can safely say that those concerns were unnecessary, and whatever expectations I had were only exceeded. I couldn’t recognise any leading plotline of this drama. To me, it simply showcased the daily life of five doctors.

As it is character-driven, there is a slow progression of the drama, which needs some time getting adapted to. It was also a little hard trying to keep track of the multiple characters initially introduced, but within three episodes, I was able to get a hang of things. The dialogues were witty, impactful and sharp, capturing my attention from the beginning to the end. However, despite containing a plethora of humorous moments throughout this serial, there was a subdued layer that focused more on the community than the plot.

I must admit, however, that I found the first episode to be subtly chaotic and slow-paced. I couldn’t grasp the concepts or connect with the characters until the second episode, after which I had no qualms.

I loved the character arcs in this story. It was a pleasure to observe their journeys and diligence as various storylines diverged or amalgamated, how they grew as individuals while maintaining their core values. The flashback scenes were fascinating to watch and compare how they are now to how they used to be.

The cinematography was stunning. I was in awe at how different shades and tones of light could impact not only the setting of the scene but also the mood of the viewers.

I recommend “Hospital Playlist” to anyone who likes to watch T.V. serials possessing the perfect amount of drama, laughter, angst, warmth and love. This serial is a truly rare gem in a basket of rocks where the storylines are solid without being too predictable.

[skipppppy]

I’m so fascinated by your she ra fan character! I’m trying to understand the storyline but it’s a little hard to find everything, and I was wondering if you would mind explaining it here?

Thank you very much! Her story is SUPER convuluted, I elaborated on it a bit on another ask about her relationship with Entrapta, but I’ll try to sum it up as cleanly as possible but a lot of different factors come into play so it still might be LOOONNGG. It’s also not a very happy story, unfortunately, but it would be helpful for me to get it all written down!

In terms of things that might be triggering, her backstory involves mention of a wide range of abuse. It won’t be explicit but I just want to be safe!

I’m actually gonna put most of it under the cut for the sake of anyone who follows me or any tags so they aren’t cursed with a mile long post on their timeline. I know the pain 😅

So here it is! I present A COMPREHENSIVE TIMELINE OF ALL THE BULLSHIT ARIA HAD TO PUT UP WITH!!!!

-For background context, she’s a Wingfolk, a species of Bird People native to Etheria who live in a kingdom built into a forest of giant trees named Ornithia. I could go on about them for hours but all you really need to know is that they have hollow bones to achieve flight (which is also the case for real life birds), which makes Aria’s body very light and frail. So she’s basically useless in physical combat which is why she never really defends herself. She was also a particularly weak flyer, which is why she doesn’t avoid a lot of situations by simply flying away.

-EXTRA BACKGROUND CONTEXT, Aria was born around the time the Horde landed on Etheria. Her father was a sorcerer at Mystacor, who had a reputation for ignoring ethics in the name of science. This all came to a head when a meteorite struck the surface of the planet; he rushed to the sight, stole it, studied it for a while, and after learning it had a powerful magic, decided to try a ritual in which he extracted the magic from the meteorite and fused it with his daughter’s soul. It took a few years for people to find out but when they did he was exiled for his actions, and Aria, still a child, was given to her mother.

-ONE MORE SMALL DETAIL: from about the age of 18/19 onward, she started having dreams about a mysterious figure made of blinding light who knew secrets about the universe and promised to find her one day so they could “finally be together again.” 3 guesses who THAT is lmao (hint: it’s Horde Prime)

-I won’t go into details about her childhood because we’d be here forever but the most important things you need to know are 1) Aria’s mother was a HORRIBLE parent and preferred to get blackout drunk rather than look after her children. 2) Aria had 4 younger brothers who, due to her mother’s negligence, she had to raise entirely by herself, which is why she feels responsible over others and has such a “nurturing” disposition, it was forced on her. 3) She took her brothers and ran away from Ornithia when she was 15, and built a home in a small woodland in the mountains of Dryl where she has lived ever since. 4) Throughout her childhood she befriended Princess Entrapta and the two were extremely close due to their isolated upbringings.

-When the BFS visited Dryl for the first time in Season 1, Aria was there acting as both a lab assistant and royal advisor to Entrapta, and joined the rebellion alongside her. Nothing crazy happened, but when Entrapta “died” Aria was beside herself with grief and ended up leaving the rebellion in order to go tend to Dryl, since it needed a ruler and as advisor it was her job to step up and take responsibility. Unlike the others, however, she refused to return to aid in the battle of Brightmoon, since she was kinda miffed at how the Princesses treated Entrapta (lookin’ at you, leash lady Perfuma) and was thoroughly pissed that they didn’t even TRY to go back for her, even if it was just to find her body and give her a dignified burial.

-Season 2 was when things truly went to shit. When the Horde came to claim Dryl, Aria resisted but was defeated pretty easily. When Glimmer and Bow came to scout out the situation, they saw her being hauled away and tried to save her but basically got caught in a stalemate where they couldn’t act because the Horde threatened to harm Entrapta if they acted. They told Aria to go with the Horde and promised that they would form a rescue party to save the both of them. But after they learned that Entrapta had joined the Horde by choice and had more important missions to deal with, rescuing her just..stopped being a priority. She wasn’t a rebel so they had no obligation to get her, so eventually they forgot about her entirely.

-Aria was kept as a prisoner for a while, but Entrapta found out pretty quickly what happened and went to find her. At that point Catra was growing frustrated with all the menial paperwork she had to do, and since she’d had experience being an advisor/secretary type, Entrapta basically proposed to Hordak that Aria act as his assistant in the same way she used to at Dryl. He accepted since it meant he would be spending less time running the Horde and more time building the portal. Aria was against the idea of helping him since she was still holding out hope that the rebels would come save her, but she was simply threatened with the classic Evil Horde punishments (torture, more torture, being locked in a cell for weeks without food or water, a tad more torture). So from mid-Season 2 to the end of Season 4, that was pretty much the position she was in. Being the Fright Zone’s resident desk jockey.

-Not much happened in that timespan, most of what occurred revolved around the portal incident and the aftermath. While Aria had been playing the part of Hordak’s pretty little secretary she was trying to find weak points in the Fright Zone’s security system so she could bust her and Entrapta out of there. Due to her and Hordak building the portal (and smooching lol) she’d been spending less and less time with Aria, which had been making her a little upset. She felt like someone she’d spent her entire life caring for was replacing her for something better, but her suspicions weren’t confirmed until she asked Entrapta about leaving together and she refused. That was the first small nudge towards a downward spiral. Then Catra returned with Adora and the Sword in hand and the Princesses came to stop the Portal. The rebels had come to save Adora and forgot about her. She was willing to forgive and join them, until they saw that she had been assisting the Horde, assumed she had betrayed them alongside Entrapta, and decided to leave her behind without giving her a chance to explain herself. That was the second, slightly stronger nudge that made her teeter over the edge of a breakdown. And then Catra told her that Entrapta had abandoned her to rejoin the rebels. While it was a lie, it was perfectly placed salt in the wound, and the straw that broke the camels back into her shifting allegiance and properly joining the Horde.

-Throughout Season 4 she had the same role as before, except this time she actually cared about her work, and had taken on the additional role of helping Hordak with his busted tech since Entrapta wasn’t around to do it. He had already come to rely on Aria for paperwork, but now she was helping him with his machines and they had a shared trauma over being “abandoned” by someone they cared deeply for. She was literally filling the void Entrapta left, and in a way they started to care for each other. Aria, being a hopeless romantic who had read about a trillion love stories about gentle protagonists who healed the evil monster men with their kindness, took to him like a moth to a flame and happily played the role of “the next best thing” against her better judgement. It wasn’t really a healthy relationship, but they did genuinely care for each other and found comfort in one another’s presence.

-It didn’t last, however. Catra was vaguely aware of the “thing” they had, and while she was indifferent for the most part, she was dealing with a downward spiral of her own, and she slowly became paranoid that Aria would distract him from completing their plans. In her poor, burnt out kitty cat frame of mind, the only way to deal with the situation was to get rid of her. So, deciding to kill 2 birds with one stone, she told Hordak that Aria had been jealous of his relationship with Entrapta, and SHE had been the one to send her to beast island. And Hordak believed her.

-I won’t go into detail about what happened after that, because it was VERY GRUESOME! We all saw how Hordak reacted when he found out what Catra had done in the original show. Now remember when I mentioned that Aria has hollow bones that made her incredibly frail and physically incapable of defending herself? Yeah. It was not pretty. Hordak wasn’t completely at fault, since he thought his anger was warranted, but by the time he’d learnt the truth and realised his mistake she was dead. In the space between the incident and learning what really happened he’d thrown her in the abandoned black garnet chamber with no food or water and basically left her to rot. He was EXTRA mad at Catra for pulling that with him, but he didn’t have time to grieve since he, Glimmer, Catra, and Aria’s lifeless corpse were beamed up into Horde Prime’s flagship.

-When Prime initially found her she was still dead. However, remember the healing magic that came from the mysterious meteorite that had now fused with her soul? Spoiler alert! It belonged to him. The meteorite was one of his most prized possessions, and the dreams Aria had been having were the magic’s attempts at trying to establish a connection with him across dimensions. (the meteorite was somewhat sentient. This is perfectly normal and well thought out writing I swear) And being reunited caused a huge surge of magical energy that resuscitated her, allowing Prime’s clones to give her some much needed medical help.

-After being pretty much comatose for 2 weeks Aria finally woke up, and was finally able to speak with Prime in person. When she found out that the “mysterious figure” from her dreams who had promised to find her was REAL and had just saved her life, she basically just latched onto him. She was, understandably, TRAUMATISED from the last 2 or so years of her life, so she was too scared to go anywhere else or trust anyone, so Prime didn’t even have to try to win her allegiance. He was also very happy to have his meteorite back, even if it now had a mortal body with skin and a face and a slew of emotional baggage. So she spends most of Season 5 being showered in love and affection by Prime and all her attendants, eventually being crowned Empress. While Prime was unequivocally evil and Aria was aware of that, he mostly sheltered her from what he was doing, in fear that her loyalty to him might falter. Maybe in a fun au she could’ve convinced him to leave Etheria alone so they could be together for longer, but alas, it was not to be.

-In the aftermath of the Heart being destroyed and Prime being killed, her downward spiral returned and shifted into OVERDRIVE. The people who had abandoned and neglected her took her one safe person away from her and they were being hailed as heroes for it. While she now knew that Entrapta had never abandoned her and was instead sent to beast island, seeing her get a happy ending with the man who had, to be quite blunt, physically abused and assaulted her, shattered any part of their friendship that might have been recoverable. She retreated into herself, taking over Horde Prime’s role as ruler over the Clones. She turned the Velvet Glove into their new home, trying to be civil with the other Princesses but eventually descended into a cold, bitter, vindictive Empress who ended up making terrible decisions as a cry for help.

-I’m still undecided on what to do with her after her fun villain arc, but I do know that in the aftermath she’d probably either step down from the throne so she could properly heal from her trauma, or work with her clones to fix up Prime’s flagship and get as far away from Etheria as possible and find peace in a new life away from everything that hurt her. I may also bring back Horde Prime from the dead through my sheer will to ignore canon so they can be together, since they are for all intents and purposes, soulmates. And I don’t think it would be very fair to let my poor hopeless romantic who just wants to be loved lose her handsome prince forever. I think it would be sexy if I committed necromancy I think.

ANYWAY...THAT WAS A HEFTY READ..SORRY IT WAS SO LONG, BUT THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I CAN COME BACK TO THIS FOR REFERENCE NOW

TLDR: babygirl has had it ROUGH

[hottpinkpenguin]

Joel Miller X Fem!Reader - Last of Us - Part 3

A/N:. read part 1 here! read part 2 here! Taglist: @midgetpottermills @casssiopeia @flyingmushroomss @amethystwonders11 @hiphopdancer101universe @kiszkawagnerwhore @littleshadow17 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @alm0501 @ch4rcuterie

Warnings: dark themes; post-apocalyptic dystopia; death of reader's minor child; probably a lot of non-canon details since I've never played the game; not proofread; spoilers if you haven't seen the show/played the gameWord Count: 2089 Abbreviations: QZ = quarantine zone; FDRA "Fedra" = Federal Disaster Response Agency

----

“It was nice waking up on your couch without a concussion.” 

Joel grunted in response as he poured a cup of coffee. He made it dark and bitter, just the way you liked it. 

He sipped on the liquid, wincing as it burned his tongue, but kept drinking. It took the edge off his pounding headache. When it was clear he wasn’t going to say something, you spoke. Again.

“Thank you. For yesterday. With Dirk.” 

Joel nodded vaguely in your direction, taking another sip of coffee.

“No problem.” 

More silence.

“How’d you know where I was anyway?” 

“Lucky guess.” Same bullshit line he’d given you last night.

“And why were you guessing my whereabouts?” 

Joel looked up at you with a heavy sigh. A shadow passed behind his eyes. 

“Call it a sixth sense for your well-being.”

He sounded sarcastic and bitter. You were trying to thank him, but he was acting like you were accusing him.

“OK… well… thank you.”

“You said that already.”

Sarcastic, bitter, and now he was irritated. You narrowed your eyes in disbelief. 

“You go to all this trouble to rescue me from Dirk and now we can’t talk?” 

You winced at how desperate the question sounded. Joel avoided your eyes, leaning against the counter. 

“What’s there to talk about? You were in trouble, I helped. You’ve thanked me, twice in fact. We’re even.” 

“Except we’re not even,” you shot back. “This is the second time you’ve helped me.” 

“First time doesn’t count. I concussed you, after all.” His response was quick: he’d thought about this. 

You chewed on your lip as you considered your next move. The two of you were faced off in the kitchen like you were getting ready for a boxing match. Why did a simple thank you feel like it was turning into a fight?

“OK, fine, first one’s a wash. This one isn’t. Let me make it up to you.” 

“That’s not necessary,” he replied quickly, shaking his head. 

“It absolutely is. Damnit Joel, can’t you just let me do something for you?” 

His nostrils flared. You were wearing him down.

“What’d you have in mind?” His tone was flat, but there was curiosity in his eyes. Maybe even a glimmer of hope. 

“Well. To be honest, I hadn’t gotten that far. So, you could say I’m taking suggestions.” 

It was bold, much bolder than you felt. You wondered if Joel could hear the unspoken suggestions between your words. It had been years since you’d tried to flirt with anybody, and you felt terribly unpracticed and a bit silly. 

He looked up at you, that strange mix of emptiness and curiosity shifting in his dark eyes. Flickers of other emotions danced in his gaze, but they were gone before you could give them a name. The mask of indifferent irritation he wore around you slipped momentarily, and for the first time you felt like you were really seeing him. 

He looked exhausted, you realized. The crisp white of his uncharacteristically clean t-shirt accentuated the dark bags under his eyes. His hair was still mussed from sleep, and his shoulders sagged as he leaned back against the counter. Something in you longed to reach out and touch him. Lift a little of whatever invisible weight was on his back. You looked at him, really looked at him, and you saw him looking back at you. You wondered what he saw - if you looked half as gutted as you felt. You wondered if he liked what he saw. Suddenly feeling embarrassed and self-conscious, you dropped your eyes for a moment, a warm flush staining your cheeks.

When your eyes jumped back up to meet his, everything was different. Joel was still looking in your direction, but he was looking through you this time. The vulnerability dissolved on his face, leaving behind those empty eyes and that hard, cold expression.

“Best way you can repay me is stay out of trouble. That’s all I need. That, and some peace and quiet.” He turned away to refill his half-drunk coffee.

The same metaphorical door he’d slammed in your face after your concussion. It hurt more this time. You’d shared something, you knew you had. Whatever had happened on that frozen playground, you’d seen a piece of Joel that you were desperate to get back to. 

“You’re kicking me out again.” Not a question. An observation. 

“Guess so.” Joel didn’t turn towards you. 

You nodded, his dismissal crystal clear. You left your mug on the counter, even as a thousand questions and accusations tried to claw their way out of your throat. You closed the door behind you harder than you needed to and made sure he could hear you walk down the dingy hallway without a stuttering step. You hoped Joel drowned in the sound of his own loneliness. 

*****

Warmer weather came in the next few months. It thawed the frost-bitten ground, but didn’t thaw the burn in your chest when you thought of Joel. He’d vanished like a ghost after your last encounter. You and Joel didn’t run in the same circles in the QZ anyways, but you knew of him enough to know that he was gone. No trace, no sign of him. Like he’d never even existed. 

And the fact that his absence bothered you drove you absolutely fucking insane. 

With everything you’d lost, everyone you’d lost, you couldn’t forgive yourself for being so bent out of shape over a guy you’d shared maybe six dozen words with. Joel wasn’t anything to you except a coincidence. Sure, he’d bailed you out of a tight spot with Dirk (who had been mysteriously well-behaved since then, you’d noted). But beyond that? He’d treated you like a nuisance, a thorn that needed to be plucked out of his thumb. 

So why on Earth were you still hoping you’d run into him around every corner? Why did the floor feel like it dropped out from underneath you when you wondered if something had happened to him? Why were you taking more and more risks, hoping that somehow his “sixth sense for your well-being” would summon him to your side?

That was the question you were asking yourself as you plastered yourself to the QZ wall as the floodlight swooped by you, scanning the darkness of the open city for hordes of infected. Beside you, your smuggling partner Marlene gave the signal to move out. You followed her lead, crouching low to avoid being spotted by the FDRA agents on post at the entry gate. Anyone with half a brain and an intact survival instinct would be trying to get through that gate, yet here you were, following a half-crazed militant and her ragtag bunch of zealots into the lightless dystopian wasteland. You knew why they were doing this: “for the cause”. The Fireflies - Marlene’s dogmatic pro-democracy, anti-FDRA militia - were so principled they were almost boring. 

But you? You were doing it because Joel had left you too restless to live with. You were doing this because of him. 

“See that bus up ahead?” Marlene’s whisper was almost too low to hear, but you followed her gaze to the broken down school bus she pointed to. It was leaning precariously to one side, its front left tire completely deflated and the front end buried in a ditch on the side of what had once been a road. The back door was open, but you couldn’t see inside. Lord knows what was inside.

You nodded, catching her meaning. If you could all get into the bus and crawl to the other end, you’d be out of the sight of the FDRA agents and free to head due east into the open city. 

“On my mark.” Marlene peered around the edge of the half-bombed out wall you were all crouching behind. She raised a hand in the air, hovering as she watched the FDRA guards. The sounds of distant talking and a truck engine starting were the only sounds in the chilly late April night. 

Marlene’s hand twitched rapidly, two fingers pointing like beacons towards the bus. You took off, trusting her and trusting your feet to get you there without complication. The heavy pack on your back fought your momentum and the gun belt around your waist made it difficult to move quietly. A few of Marlene’s men beat you to the bus, disappearing into the darkened interior ahead of you. For half a second, you hesitated outside, listening for the sound of screams or the unmistakable clicking of an infected rustling to life. When you didn’t hear anything, you threw yourself in behind them, dragging yourself as quickly as you could while staying silent across the corrugated steel floor of the bus. 

“Get up, you’ll move faster.” Damian, Marlene’s number two. You didn’t like him, but you couldn’t argue with results: the guy had made more trips over the wall into the open city and back than anyone else in the Fireflies. 

You followed Damian and another guy you recognized but didn’t know down the center aisle of the bus. The seats were mostly empty, some of them cut open with the stuffing busting out. You pointedly avoided inspecting a child-sized mass slumped sideways against the wall of the bus in the frontmost seat. 

Damian crouched at the top of the three stairs that lead out of the front of the bus. You heard the scuffles of the other Fireflies filing in behind you. The bus creaked ominously under the group’s weight. 

“All here,” Marlene called up softly from the back. Damian nodded, pulling the lever to open the bus doors. They swung open with a rusted shriek. You all froze, ducking your heads below the sight line of the FDRA floodlight. Thankfully, no one on the QZ wall seemed to have heard. After a few tense breaths, Damian led the group out of the open bus door. 

Obscured by an overturned car, you were able to stand up to your full height as you followed the others down a steep embankment to a semi-cleared road below. Your eyes tracked east, away from the fading twilight on the opposite horizon. The barely visible skeletons of Boston’s downtown rose up from the landscape like broken teeth a few miles away from you. The open city. 

It was your fourth trip outside the walls, all of them within the last two weeks. You’d met Marlene only a couple days after your last run-in with Joel. You didn’t care much for the Fireflies’ propagandized mission statement, but you were game for anything with an adrenaline kick these days. And the open city sure gave you that, and some. 

“Alright everyone, you know the drill. Eyes open, mouths shut. We move fast and quiet. There’s a package waiting for us at the outpost. A live package.”

Live? 

Your raised eyebrows caught Marlene’s attention. She nodded, confirming the unspoken question in your eyes. You weren’t collecting contraband this trip; you were collecting a human. 

“Woah woah, what the hell? Wait just a minute. A person? We’re picking up a person?” A red-headed guy you thought was named Steve spoke up from the back of the group. 

Marlene pursed her lips.

“Yes.” 

Her response sent a jolt of energy through the group. More than a few grumbled disapprovingly at the news. The rest of you stayed silent, waiting for orders. Personally, you didn’t care what it was you were picking up, you just wanted to get the show on the road. Staying in one place too long in the open city - and this close to the QZ - was asking for trouble. 

“Nah, that’s bullshit, Marlene. We didn’t sign up for this!” Steve’s opposition earned a few murmurs of agreement. 

“If you want to go back, be my guest. This is your last chance.” Something about the challenge in Marlene’s voice tamped out the rumbling dissent with ease. Only Steve groused to himself as she took one final appraising glance around the group. 

“Good. We’ve got until sun up to get out and get back, so we need to work fast. It’s a sixteen mile round trip, and there’s plenty of shit out there that’ll slow us down.” 

It was the line Marlene usually ended her “pep talks” in before they set out on a mission. Each of the four times you’d come out here with her, she’d ended with that sentiment. So far, you hadn’t seen any live infected, at least not any close enough to bother with. Something in your gut told you that tonight would be different…

*read part 4

let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters! ty to everyone showing this series so much love! <3

[nonwal]

⭐️ sleeping in the shadow of an other self

(for the "Director's Commentary" ask meme)

I'm gonna put this below the cut because the thing I wanna talk about is all the foreshadowing in that fic and I don't want to spoil things for anyone who doesn't like spoilers

There's arguably two plot twists here--the one that's guessable (Jester has modified Essek's memory to make him believe that he's innocent) and the one that would take a goddamn genius to figure out (Jester has also modified Essek's memory to make him forget the conversation where he agreed to have his memory modified.)

In approximate order, every intentional clue, some of which I put a ridiculous amount of thought into:

Essek agrees to eat a cupcake, despite not liking sweets.

All of the people without deception proficiency leave the room or go invisible (Yasha, Caduceus, and Veth--who Essek has not noticed casting Invisibility, because that happened while his memory was being modified)

Essek has to be re-convinced to eat a cupcake, and is confused why he agreed in the first place.

Everyone waits for Essek to eat the cupcake. Jester fumbles around with her spell components until after he takes a bite before casting "Greater Restoration."

The cupcake is delicious, surprisingly so.

Beau has swallowed an entire cupcake in what Essek perceives as only a few seconds, and everyone else is suddenly tense.

Everyone's reaction to Essek is...subtly off. Fjord speaks "carefully." Jester's surprise is a little bit over the top even for her. Caleb gets very intense and tells him that Essek was used by the Assembly regardless of whether or not his memories were modified. Caduceus fails to act surprised at all when Veth tells him.

Essek is surprised that he'd changed his mind, openly admitting that it doesn't feel real.

This is a subtle one, but in Caduceus' extended tree trimming metaphor, he never states that the branch is dead, just that Essek is pretty sure it's dead.

Yasha avoids Essek at the beach and everyone makes really vague excuses for her.

Veth reacts unusually strongly when refuting Essek's suggestion that he wouldn't have been worth saving if he'd been guilty.

Another subtle one--Caleb's tone is too neutral when he finishes Essek's "the only thing I've had faith in--" with "yourself." (He knows that's the correct answer based off of their conversation on the boat, but more recently he's heard Essek say I have faith in you during the removed memory.)

Essek has another cupcake and discovers that he still doesn't like sweets.

Beau grimaces when Essek gives her permission to lie to him if she's trying to save his life.

The entire overheard conversation between Veth and Caleb is carefully worded as fuck. Veth is worried that Essek will go back to his former outlook on morality after they complete the mission (and undo the memory modification,) because he shows more regret when he "thinks" that he's innocent. Caleb insists they can't leave this unfinished. Both of them worry that Essek is happier now and will be less so once the truth is revealed.

Beau offers Essek drugs a second time, forgetting that he's forgotten the first time, then passes it off as her remembering wrong before changing the subject abruptly.

The Nein are all confident when Jester offers to enter a Zone of Truth (whereas Essek has forgotten her assertion that it would be easy for her to lie in one.)

Jester's entire rambling explanation, but especially "when I cast the spell" (not "when I cast Greater Restoration") and "then we knew he had fake memories" (because they'd just given them to him, of course.)

Plus everyone's weird reaction to the fact that they've completed the mission, knowing that it's time to tell Essek the truth.

Anyhow, I am proud as fuck over how well I managed to pull this one off (both the foreshadowing and the M9 characterization, which was the other thing I put a lot of thought into.) It's my magnum opus. I refuse to be humble about it. It got a bazillion kudos and it deserves every single one of them.

[punkrock-writer]

Space Cowboy- part 4

Roasting the Shit Out of Toro Because He Deserves It 

Pairing- Din Djarin x F!OC

Warnings- Mentions blood, fighting, swearing, Canon Typical Violence. Spoilers for The Mandalorian

A/N- WOAH It is here. 5.3k words. The longest chapter so far. Let me know what you guys think, is it still too short or too long, lemme know. And yeah, the end IS cheesy. I am the Mayor of Cheeseville it should be expected. 

And a reminder Din is de-aged a bit, he's around mid to late 20′s here, just for a little more ~spice~

Let me know what you think! I love hearing from ya’ll it helps me a lot :D 

Masterlist AO3 

She honestly didn't know how he was so quiet. That collection of Ironman armor should make much more noise than it does. Or he could have at least woken her up before screaming.

"HEY" Sedona jumped violently. Her eyes springing open in panic, he wasn't in the ship, but his voice echoed throughout it. She heard the panicked voice of Peli yelling outside. She scooted further into the middle of the hull to peer out of the open door. Din looked as intimidating as he could, shoulders raised and feet wide. Peli marched from her office up to him, cradling a wailing Grogu.

"Give him to me" she wanted to laugh. The paternal instincts kicked in so fast, albeit a bit misplaced and underdeveloped. But he tried his best.

"Not so fast! You can't just leave a child all alone like that." Peli cried out, though not entirely alone, she was right. "You know, you have an awful lot to learn about raisin' a young one."

And then much to Sedona's discomfort, Peli's eyes met hers.

"AND leaving an injured lady! No water or bandages, that isn't very kind. Prisoner or not." She scowled up at the towering Mandalorian, whose head slowly turned to meet hers. She quickly scooted herself back against the crate. She wasn't ready for that kind of attention, she needed to get her thoughts in order.

"Anyway-" she racked her brain as she heard Peli continue to talk about the ship. She had gotten this far in the episode, and Din had obviously made the deal with... that motherfucker whom she cannot remember the name of. She was so focused on trying to remember she didn't even notice Din had walked back onto the ship.

"I thought I told you not to talk to anyone." His voice made her jump once again, it was rough, a warning. Her wide eyes met his visor, and suddenly the right words met her tongue.

"Don't leave him alone with the bounty" they were rushed, she probably looked crazier than Peli's wild curls. "Y-you can't trust him, something bad is going to happen."

She watched as he turned with a bag in his hand. He looked like he was going to speak, or step closer to her, his body seizing up. Instead, his gloved hand curled into a fist at his side, and he spun quickly on his heel and exited her line of sight. She heard the pair talk a bit more, mostly Peli talking at Din's retreating back. Then she was alone again. And her ass hurts.

Standing up was much easier now that the magic space goo had somehow healed her knees. Though she had extreme doubts, she sincerely hoped Din might heed her warning. She really did not wan't to be caught in the crossfire of their shoot out that was soon to come. Maybe that was the worst part about being plunked into this universe. The constant dread of knowing what's going to happen, and having no power to change it, was going to destroy her. She could already feel the way her body sagged with exhaustion. The ever-present headache was taking a toll on her mind, and her fight or flight response was kicked into high gear. She hadn't felt like this in years.

Trying to keep her mind from straying too far into the darkness. She decided to do some light exploration of the Razor Crest. She wouldn't touch anything, as Din so kindly instructed. But she was definitely going to touch all over with her eyes. First, she was going to figure out if that man had a shower. She turned opposite the open door and headed in the direction of what looked like an airplane toilet. She was pleased to find a small door stationed adjacent to the weird space toilet. Obviously hidden from view on the show, it was a rickety metal sheet. Actually, everything on the ship was a metal sheet, but she wasn't going to roast it too harshly. Opening it, the oval-shaped door created an edge that she had to step over to enter the small room. The floor and walls were tiled, and there was a small drain in the middle. A large ledge jutted out from the wall at about knee height, above it was what looked like a sink, and a small foggy mirror. Avoiding its reflection, she ventured back further. There was a curtain, pulling it back revealed a showerhead and a series of ledges cut into the wall. She tried to keep her heart from fluttering at the sight of soap bars, and a razor. Then heat began to creep up her spine, embarrassment making its way to her cheeks.

How fucking old are you 13? Get a hold of yourself.

She spun quickly not wanting to be caught snooping. She felt like a high school girl who had just seen her crush's room for the first time. She was 26 for fucks sake, and it was a bathroom.

On a space ship.

On an unknown planet.

In a universe that had once only existed in media form.

She wasn't able to wallow in her embarrassment much longer, through the open door she saw Peli return from wherever she had followed Din. She walked with determination, coming up to some kind of machine that was attached to the ship. Sedona didn't really know what to do, she stood awkwardly in the hull of the ship. Listening to Peli mutter to herself, she hated feeling like this. She liked to be moving or at least distracting her brain in some way. Now there was only the unfamiliar ship, her bags were already organized neatly- and then it hit her.

She still had her phone in her purse.

Springing into action she darted for her bag, rummaging through it until she finally found it. It was an iPhone and she still had her headphones attached to it. Her heart soared in her body, unable to contain her smile at the sight, relieved to find at least this thing hadn't magically transformed into a space object. But clicking it on she was met with slight disappointment. Only 32% charged, and the fact that her phone was wicked old and functioned at about 60% of its normal battery life, it would be dying soon. There are no outlets in space. She thought angrily. So she sighed and set it back into her purse, deciding to save it for when she truly needed a mental escape. For now, she could maybe go and see what Peli was up to.

And that's how she spent her first evening in space. She sat at the table, watching Peli fix the Crest. Or making sure the child didn't eat sand or some shit. Peli didn't talk much while she worked, which she was secretly grateful for. Only asking occasional questions, or pausing to complain about the old ship. Sedona didn't offer much, vague answers, allowing the older woman to speak more than herself. She really didn't feel like having to convince someone else she's from an alternate universe. Especially someone who was very much capable of throwing her into the endless Tatooine desert.

In time it grew darker in the hangar. Peli wiped her hands off on her jumpsuit, leaving grease marks in her wake. Sedona held a sleeping Grogu in her arms, he had been quite a hassle for her to wrangle with her hands still cuffed together. He was quick, and incredibly sneaky when he wanted to be. He currently held some kind of bolt in his little clawed hands, one of the braver droids had given it to him when he was fussing in her lap.

"How about another round of some bone broth, and then we get some rest." She snapped her fingers at a droid, who scurried off to the back of the hangar quickly. "It looks like that little stinker has the right idea." Peli sat, the smell of oil and metal rolling off her. She grabbed the cup of water she had sipping out of periodically and drank. Then she turned to Sedona, who up until this moment had been zoned out, staring at the shadows cast on the ground.

"You look like you've seen some shit." Sedona's heart nearly stopped at that, but when she met Peli's eyes they glittered with amusement in the dim light of the hangar.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," she said with a laugh and a shrug. Then a droid appeared next to her, carrying more bowls of broth. She accepted it, thanking the droid once again. The liquid warmed her, she didn't consider how cold a desert got a night, and her shorts and men's t-shirt didn't exactly hold much warmth. But the broth helped, and she tried not to let Peli notice her shivers.

"Listen, I wanted to ask you something" Sedona almost choked on her broth. "I heard what you said to the Mandalorian, why do you think he can't trust that other bounty hunter?" Peli's gaze was quizzical, genuine curiosity, not suspicion. It gave Sedona confidence, but not enough to tell her the full truth.

"I guess I just have a really bad feeling, I think there's something off about the deal." She said after swallowing, and Peli was silent for a moment. Searching her gaze before suddenly leaning forward.

"You know I was thinking the exact same thing." She said it like it was the juiciest secret in school. "There was just something off in his eyes." She finished with a nod. Sedona couldn't stop her smile. She felt the beginnings of a friendship blossoming there in the cool evening. She hoped it wouldn't be ripped away from her too soon.

They finished their broth in comfortable silence. Then Peli rose, a mischievous smile on her face.

"Well, I'm going to take this little womprat to the back with me, if you need anything just holler," she said, reaching down to scoop the sleeping bundle from her lap. "You sure you'll be all right in that ship by yourself?"

"I'll be okay," she said with a smile, trying to look convincing "but Peli, if you see anything happening, take the child and run."

Her face turned serious, and she gave a curt nod.

"I'll make sure the droids stay awake, they'll give us a good warning" and with another nod, and a pointed look at the group of droids, she turned to the back of the hangar.

Sedona was alone again, and fear was beginning to crawl up her spine. She had to prepare herself. Somehow, she wasn't going to let that fucker touch baby Grogu.

~o~o~o~

Night came and went, Sedona spent it pacing. Somehow, that sneaky tin can had taken her taser, and her Swiss army knife. Leaving her with only pepper spray from her keychain to defend herself. She held it tightly in 2 hands, having finally sat down when she saw the hangar becoming light again. She heard Peli out in the open area, talking to the droids and the child.

"Here's a ration bar, I'm going to try to finish these repairs before the Mandalorian gets back." Peli had walked into the ship quietly, giving her the foil-wrapped bar, the child gurgling on her hip. The tension was thick between them, both women could sense something wrong. But if Peli wanted to say anything more she didn't, instead turning her attention to the ship, the child held tightly to her. Sedona honestly didn't feel like eating, her head was pounding again. The effort of trying to figure out the plot was scrambling her brain.

She didn't know how exactly to define it, but it felt like the memories of the show were drifting away from her. Scenes she had remembered and re-watched multiple times now were faint memories. It felt like she was losing her mind, literally the only information she needed right now was dissolving like snow in her fingers. So she settled for clutching her pepper spray and hoping the droids gave her a good warning like Peli said.

The droids held up their end well.

It was maybe 3 or 4 hours later, Peli had miraculously just taken Grogu to the back for some food and a nap. When suddenly the droids went absolutely batshit crazy.

Sedona sprung from her spot on the floor, her headache was instantly forgotten as she squeezed herself against an indent in the wall of the ship. Hoping to spring on the hunter. She heard his blaster fire, then it was eerily quiet.

God, I hope they can get out of here.

Sedona tried to keep her mind from straying from the task at hand. She tried to keep her breathing quiet, straining her ears for any sounds.

Those shitty self-defense classes are going to have to work today.

There were footsteps on the ramp. Slow, but heavy, he really was a pretty shitty bounty hunter. She switched the safety off on her pepper spray, trying to judge where he was on the ship by the sound of his footsteps. Then the barrel of a gun crept into her line of sight, and she didn't hesitate.

Springing from her hiding spot she sprayed upwards, toward what she hoped were his eyes. Based on the shouting she was successful. She did her best to ignore the burn in her own eyes as the fumes carried toward her. Taking his surprise as an advantage she attempted to kick him in the balls.

Keyword- attempted.

Sedona did not consider the fact, that he might be wearing goggles. And that he might catch her leg. With a shove, she was sent sprawling onto the floor, with no way to catch herself. Her butt hit the ground hard, knocking the breath out of her. She looked up to meet a gut-churning smile.

What a fucking dick.

"That tasted awful, but I don't think it did what you wanted it to." He said with a smug smirk, he was so incredibly proud of himself. "Look at this! A third bounty, I'm going to be the king of the Guild!"

Well, if Sedona couldn't beat him physically. She was going to try to demolish his ego.

"Fuck you, Toro, this is why your mom doesn't FUCKING love you" the words were filled with rage as they flew out of her mouth, she lunged toward him. Her mind suddenly supplying the correct name when she needed it most. His face immediately fell, twisting into shock and confusion.

"What do you know about my mother?" he sneered, taking a few steps forward to tower over her on the ground. But his intimidating stance did nothing to stop the pure hatred Sedona felt in her heart.

"You look like you watch Big Bang Theory on purpose." It was one of her more creative insults, her new goal was distraction. Try and confuse him as much as she could, so that hopefully Peli could escape with the child. It seemed to work so far.

"I don't know what that means, but I would shut the hell up if I were you" he leaned down and sneered at her. She grit her teeth, the insults flowing fast.

"Your earring looks like shit"

"I said shut up!" He raised his blaster to her head, a position she had just recently became familiar with. She met his eyes, and with as much bitterness as she could muster, she put the nail in her coffin.

"I know how you die, and you die like a bitch."

That was the last thing she could say. Toro reacted very poorly, to say the least.

And for the first time in her life, Sedona was pistol-whipped across the head. Toro stalked away from her body that laid slumped on the ship floor. Continuing on his original journey, much more confused and irritated.

~o~o~o~

The Mandalorian could not shake the sick feeling in his gut as he tied the dewback to the hitch outside of Hangar 3-5. One look at the speeder outside had the mysterious woman's words repeating in his head.

You can't trust him, something bad is going to happen.

It really didn't help that she was right. In fact, he hated that she was right. It was making his decision on what to do with her much harder. He unclipped his blaster, drawing it ahead of him as he made his way down the stairs. The hangar was quiet, aside from the annoying droid that startled him. He slowly made his way through the sand toward his ship.

"Took you long enough Mando" there he was. He stalked forward raising his blaster up into the dark ship. Calican emerged; somehow he got angrier at the sight of the child in his arm, and the scared woman who had been kind to him caught in this mess. "Looks like I'm calling the shots now. Huh, partner?"

Din wanted to roll his eyes and shoot him right then.

"Drop your blaster and raise 'em." This time he couldn't stop the eye roll, instead having to suppress an annoyed sigh as he carelessly flung his blaster to the ground. Twisting his body in a way that let him quickly grab a flash charge. He truly was a pretty shitty bounty hunter, this would be his final mistake. Din was irritated, just waiting for the right moment to strike. Calican handed it to him on a silver platter.

"Cuff him." After that, Din really didn't give a shit about what this guy said. Instead watching as the woman approached him with the bindings. He rolled the flash charge in-between his fingers. Waiting.

"You're smarter than you look" the woman whispered in his ear. Obviously not, if only he had listened to the woman she left in his ship. He wouldn't be in this mess.

The right moment came as Calican raised his blaster higher. The flash brightening the entire hangar for just long enough, Din slipped behind some of the junk lying around. Coming around the side before Calican even knew he had disappeared. It was over quickly, his body tumbled off the ramp, taking the child with it.

"Stay back." He tried to tell the woman, who scrambled quickly over to him as he went to inspect the body. He didn't like the way she fumbled around him, grabbing his cape as he tried to make sure the man was actually dead. Then he heard the babbles of the child. He didn't really register what she was saying to him, just thankful she was calming him down. Inspecting the body he found what he was looking for, the bag of credits was heavy in his hand.

Turning to the woman holding the child, he prepared to pay and leave.

"Be careful with him." She said, the child simply snorting as he was placed back in his arms. She then tried to break some of the tension, bringing up the question that Din knew she would ask. "So I take it you didn't get paid."

Din didn't really feel the need to say anything. Instead pouring the contents of the pouch into her outstretched hands. But he decided to make sure.

"That cover me?" The woman sputtered in response, giving a shocked form of Yes. Din then turned, making his way back to his ship, babbling baby in tow. Until he was stopped.

"Listen, I don't know what you plan on doing with that girl, but she fought to distract him. She tried to make sure I could get away with the baby." Din turned back to the woman, his curiosity peaking. "She told him she knew how he died, and something tells me she did. Sh-she was very nice and helpful. I think you should give her a chance."

Din thought about it for a moment. It seems she was truthful about yet another thing she said to him.

"I would protect the child with my life."

Internally he was glad it hadn't come to that, or so the woman who stared up at him made it seem. He nodded at her, hoping he conveyed his understanding and turned back to enter his darkened ship. He heard her yelling at her droids, but he was more concerned with finding out what state his ship was in. As the ramp closed, he flipped back on the lights. With a heavy sigh, he observed the way her body was crumpled on the floor once again.

There was a large, bloodied scrape on her temple, the area already beginning to bruise. The child was struggling in his arms again, letting out indignant cries as he reached for the girl on the floor. He set him down next to her and reached to grab her under the shoulders and knees. Deciding to move her much gentler than he had the first time. He didn't really know where to put her though; he spun in his ship, her body limp in his arms, the child followed him in circles crying out in frustration.

His eyes landed on his sleeping compartment, figuring that was better than nothing. He quickly set her into it. Taking a moment to remove the cuffs still on her wrists, he internally cringed at the redness. Another thing he should apologize for. He didn't feel comfortable sitting in the hangar for much longer. He scooped up the child, who was trying in vain to climb into the compartment with her.

"Come on we have to get outta here" he grumbled to the child, who was squirming in his arm. He paused to look up at him, angrily babbling at him before resorting to pouting as he was hauled into the cockpit. Din started the ship quickly, not entirely certain where he was going. He only knew he needed to sit down with the woman in the hull, and really figure out what the hell she was talking about.

~o~o~o~

Sedona really didn't want to wake up. In her dream, she was warm and comfortable, and definitely not about to get crazy-murdered by a space villain. Whatever she was laying on was slightly squishier than the floor, but only slightly. It felt like if you were to lay a thin yoga mat onto a wood floor and then tried to take a nap on it. But she kept her eyes closed, trying to stay in her comfortable bubble just a few moments longer. Whoever was shaking her leg did not get the message.

"Please, just let me pretend this isn't happening for a little while longer" she grumbled, not yet opening her eyes. She tried to imagine her bed again, her soft blankets, and a cup of her favorite tea. She could pretend her head didn't hurt, and her body didn't hurt, and her brain didn't hurt. She could pretend she didn't have to open her eyes and face more confusion and struggle.

"Please, I'd like to talk." A soft modulated voice was not what she expected. She slowly opened her eyes, taking in the metal ceiling above her. With a deep breath, she slowly sat up, taking in the sight before her. At some point, after she had been knocked out, she had been placed in Din's sleeping compartment. At the end of the 'bed' (she didn't really want to call it a bed this was awful) stood the Mandalorian himself, and Grogu was vigorously shaking her leg with 2 hands. He babbled excitedly when she sat up, looking up at her and giving a wide smile. "How is your head?"

The new gentle tone was mind-boggling. She could only stare at him, mouth open like a fish. Her head was bad actually, feeling very bad. She just got smacked across the head with a gun, she couldn't imagine how she looked. But the sudden shift in mood was what confused her most; there was a stumbling, awkward, sort of kindness in the way he stood and spoke to her. She searched the visor a bit more, not really sure what she was looking for. A particularly loud coo broke her from her distraction.

"It... could be better I suppose." She licked her lips, mind suddenly wandering in fear. "Where are we? Are we stopped?" The Mandalorian couldn't afford to just stop, so they had to be in hyperspace or he wouldn't be down here. Why was he down here exactly? When did the cuffs come off?

"Yes, we're still on Tatooine, I— I wanted to talk to you," he cleared his throat. "I had some things to say, and to ask." He turned and walked further into the ship, she just now noticed the door was open. Showing the dark Tatooine desert.

Oh!

She was going to be dropped off here. Left to wander the space desert. It was a short run of things, but at least it was horrible while it lasted. She slowly got up, moving around the child to set her feet on the cold ground. The child babbled up at her, raising his arms, and for a brief moment, she considered picking him up. Her mind flirted with the idea of carrying him over to the metal man who leaned against the hatch door. Looking out to the rolling sands together, in peace. But instead, she grabbed her purse and prepared for the worst.

"So I guess this is it?" She paused next to Din, nervously looking up at him as she twirled her purse strap in her hands. His helmet snapped to her, quickly his body followed, straightening out to face her completely. He looked down at her for a long time, his body tense. Her body heated up under his gaze, feeling even more nervous under the scrutiny.

"Do you think I'm leaving you out here?" He tilted his head at her, it was almost condescending. If she was able to re-wind it and analyze the tone of his voice, she would've caught the amusement.

"Well I mean you did leave me handcuffed on the ship for like 3 days, and then brought the Crest out to the desert. Which you would never do if you weren't going to...leave me here" she rambled. Her eyes searched the area around them, not meeting his visor. He was silent once again, just watching her squirm under his gaze. She didn't know how to read him in real life, he was so much taller, and without the fan analysis she could skim through, a lot of his body language was lost.

"I was going to apologize..." he paused, his voice soft but gravely. Her mouth dropped open, slowly looking up to his helmet. "I'm sorry for leaving you cuffed in the ship, but you have to admit, you sounded pretty crazy."

The humor was detectable now, and after a long moment Sedona smiled, and as the words penetrated her brain a little deeper. A chuckle bubbled into her throat, and before she knew it she was laughing. It wasn't that funny honestly, but this was the first display of emotional release her body had experienced in a while, so it kind of went overboard. When she finally calmed down she was breathless, tears gathered in her eyes. Mando just looked at her, head tilted in confusion, and when he folded his arms over his chest, she knew he was irritated.

"I'm sorry... that wasn't that funny, but I think I need to cry and that's as close as I'm going to get." She wiped a tear from her eye, looking back at the still Mandalorian. She quickly dropped her face when she saw the way he was standing, straightened her shoulders. "W-what else did you want from me?" She should know better to think she was off the hook, he could still freeze her in carbonite. He would probably be able to get some sort of profit from her. The thought had her shrinking, she suddenly felt small again.

With a hefty sigh, he readjusted, facing back toward the endless desert. His trend of silence was much for daunting when it wasn't happening on a tv screen. Suddenly something grabbed her ankle. Of course, how could she forget the 3rd passenger? With an incredibly grumpy face and some mighty grump squeals, he reached his arms up to her as hard as he could. She smiled in pity at him, it didn't feel right to pick him up in front of Din. It wasn't her place, and she really didn't want to upset him when he was deciding his fate.

"You can pick him up." His voice was soft again, though he hadn't turned to look at them. "He seems to like you a lot" Her eyes glowed, and with free hands, she bent down and picked up the little one. Finally being able to hold him properly was wonderful, he was a comfortable weight in the crook of her arm. His little dish towel onesie soft on her skin, she smiled at him, and he cooed happily. Looking up she found Din had turned around, looking on with a tilted gaze.

"I want to know... do things work out well for him." It was almost a whisper, true concern laced in his modulated voice. She had to think about it for longer than she wanted. Yes, as far as she knew things went relatively well for the child, as for the man protecting him that was different.

"You have lots of adventures, but he makes it out okay." She gave him a small closed-mouth smile. Thinking further filled her with hope. "D-does... this mean you trust me?" She searched his visor, hoping she met his eyes.

"I..." He cut off, his head shaking. "I don't know for sure what to think, I know you're not a threat, but I can't...comprehend the things you've told me." He inhaled deeply, letting out a long sigh. A gloved hand reached out to stroke the ear of the child. "But I can't shake the feeling that I need you with me, so I suppose you should stick around for a while."

As if he understood Grogu chirped happily up at you. His head turning back and forth between the two of you. Sedona's heart soared. She couldn't stop the smile that crept its way onto her cheeks. She felt like jumping, but she resorted to squeezing the little guy tighter to her chest.

"Thank you." It came out in a whisper, she hoped he could register her gratefulness through his helmet. Grogu gave a little cheer, reaching up one clawed hand to tap her cheek.

"Well...don't get too comfortable, I'll need your help." There was the familiar grumble. She dropped her smile quickly.

"You got it. I used to be a babysitter, I'll earn my keep." She gave a sharp nod, determination overtaking her face. But another tap to her cheek had her cracking a smile once again.

"Can you fight?" That question was a bit trickier to answer. While she had a knife and a taser, there was no formal training to back them.

"I... had to take a few self-defense classes, but I didn't have many options in my city." She answered with a shrug. "But I'm willing to learn." She said, determined. No, she wasn't a gifted fighter yet, but if that's how she would be able to survive here, then she was going to become the best damn fighter this galaxy had seen.

"Good." He said, seemingly satisfied, and gave her a nod before abruptly turning back to the ship. "Then I'll train you when we're able to stop, but for now, we keep going." With that he brushed past her, the hatch closing behind him. She watched as he made his way up the ladder, she heard the hiss of the cockpit doors opening. She looked down at the gremlin in her arms, and his big eyes looked back at her. A smile showing off his nubby teeth on his little face. With a shrug, she walked back over to the sleeping compartment.

Now as she looked over her belongings, 2 bags, and a fucking hotel towel. It didn't seem so bad.

She should really put on a bra now.

[incarnateirony]

Hey!! Is the discord server open to anyone?

Yes and no. There’s a few notes about it, and here’s the rule set:

0. I swear to god I will yeet someone the moment I detect someone trying to bring their bitter fandom bullshit here, this is neither the place it's popular or a place we're going to let you infect with it, we hear enough of the frog screech sound on the blue hellsites. If you don't know how to actually enjoy a show, don't go to its fandom, or at least, not this space. There's 50 other servers for you guys to be wankers and whiners on, go there, don't bring your poo here.

1. What happens in the bunker stays in the bunker, that means no sharing outside caps without permission, and no posting any kind of meta or speculation that explicitly gives anything away in the Leaks section (Looking at you, Dominus+). Now obviously if you figure out how to ~speculate~ totally TOTALLY hypothetically within a structure that leads you to that result, I definitely can't stop you! But no jumping from A to B or outting anything directly.

2. 36 hour cooldown on posting about new episodes outside of the spoiler zone, central being #as-we-air-eps for live view and chatter once the show starts airing. Basically, through the same-night and next-day, all active talk of episodes need to stay in that area. I've named it "as we air eps" instead of "spoilers" because I don't want anyone to confuse spoilers with a leak section. Only 36 hours. It's a meta community, it's kinda what we do, watch and analyze quickly, but we understand some people need to view next day. 2b. DUE to rule 2a, while we can't/won't stop you from posting same-day meta, make sure the title of your meta CLEARLY INCLUDES the episode, like "15.14 Meta Title", so people are appropriately warned and can avoid it until they see the episode. 3. Remember: Leaks stay in leaks, other stuff stays wherever it seems to belong. I won't like bring down the wrath of god if you indirectly reference something super vaguely, because let's face it, we all speak some weird form of fandom greek in here with a thousand inside jokes so people are more likely to notice the admin wrath than letting it blur into a mix of talk of kale and peanut butter. But just try to be mindful of that.

4. Do not ask for leaks or upgrades. The more times you ask for leaks the longer it will take for you to ever see them. We remember. There are enough tools here for you to participate in lots of server activities and content without it. Don't be needy.

---------

I’m at a point of zero tolerance on people trying to spread their anxiety juice all over the place to the point I confronted a very old and long friend about doing it. It’s literally there to have a stress free environment to actually enjoy fandom in, there’s a thousand servers to piss and moan in. 

I am tentatively starting to let people in abroad that need a space like this for their own sanity. I greatly adapted our server permission levels to accomodate this. But I will throw people in an instant if they’re just gonna start turning this server into the 101st copy of bitter bitching and anxiety loops.

https://discord.gg/kMfmPUxwqr

[evildoe-r]

sunstroke (bif x derby)

word count: 3,434

rating: T

main characters: bif taylor, derby harrington

spoilers for video game: yes (Dishonorable Fight and Complete Mayhem)

...now he had thrust his apology back into his hands. Bif was one of the few he could not freely take sincerity from, that was his own mistake, and one he just made deliberately. Presently, he felt sickening remorse pooling inside of him, steadily drowning him.

warning; very long post

I

It was a year nearing its lively prime stretching across dusty, strange Bullworth. The evening crept and called the fading light that spread its warm hue across the rooftops and glistened on uncertain waters. Bif made his way through the subdued small town, to return to his dorm at the Academy after he and his friends spent the day at the gym having sparring matches, choosing to spend the penultimate day of school there instead of waste it at Miss Peters’ traditionally mind numbing school play that took place at the end of each academic year. They’d all had a much better time in their gym - all of them except for the absent Derby, who he rarely saw anymore, even around the Harrington House. Derby, who once would let him walk alongside him as his right hand man. He couldn’t tell if he was avoiding him or it was simply coincidence - a coincidence that occurred directly after he had lost a boxing match to none other than new kid Jimmy Hopkins, and disgraced the Preps’ standing within the school hierarchy. 

He hated losing, but he hated the confusion that had followed even more, the vague insights and cues into Derby's fluctuating relationship with him on the rare occasion he did see him around. It was stupid to dwell on this, he knew it. But no matter how much he pushed aside the thought that Derby somehow hated him, it would creep up on him in the school hallways, in the classes he hadn't ditched, before he slept, always circling back to him. 

He had lingered around in the gym longer than the others. Somehow, even after the usual high he got from defeating an opponent in a sparring match, today his movements as he showered and dressed back into his uniform had been slow and his thoughts were cloudy. On the morning after tomorrow's summer day of suspended classes, they would all return home, far away from Bullworth Academy.��

Although the day had been hot, the evening lent a cool breeze which had given him some relief. Even after a cold shower, Bif felt too warm. His hair was still damp and he slicked a hand through it as he walked along the path looking out onto the sea. He could sense the day's sickening heat slowly retreating, which he was grateful for. He would have welcomed the warmth any other time, but all week his head swam with thoughts that made him almost weary. As he made his way toward the bridge, a pack of Greasers raced past him on their bikes, turning toward New Coventry and paying him no mind. Looking straight ahead, he narrowed his eyes against the waning sunlight. He heard their voices before he spotted them. It was Justin and Chad several feet in front of him, their backs turned to him, speaking excitedly and louder than usual. Bif almost halted in his path as he suddenly recognised that unbearably familiar voice mingling with theirs. 

Derby. 

He forced himself to continue walking as normal. Lighthearted laughter erupted from them before he heard Derby’s courteous parting dismissal as the other two departed towards the direction of the Academy. 

Shit.

Derby was left there, standing uphill in front of the setting sun like a great shadow. He watched Bif carefully, and now, Bif had no choice but to meet him and his gaze, always razor sharp.

Derby was the first to speak. 

“Bif.”

“Hey,” Bif tried. 

As he approached Derby, he couldn’t help but notice how he observed him, studied him so closely. Bif knew that Derby had seen him before he realised he was there, just as he saw everything. You didn’t just escape Derby’s notice.

“Thought you’d be back at the House by now,” Derby said.

“Well, yeah, I just got held up,” Bif replied, making an attempt for his voice to remain neutral. But he was scared, excited, anxious. He hadn't realised how much he had anticipated this, whether it was to confront him or to reconcile with him. He only wanted for things to return to what was supposed to be normal. 

But now, Derby’s voice was calm, slightly softer than usual. It eased him a little. Maybe he didn't hate him after all.

II

Derby watched his taller friend’s nervous hand run through his hair. The reddish brown strands were the color of fire in the last reach of the small town sunlight. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked. Bif’s green eyes widened a little in surprise at the question. 

“Uh, It’s nothing, Derby,” he finally said.

"You seem a bit on edge," Derby observed.

"Oh, boxing and all that. Parker gave me a hard time. But I won anyway, you know." 

Derby offered an acknowledging nod before changing the subject. “Well, I don’t plan on going back to the school grounds for another while.” He gazed out towards the sea, and then turned expectantly onto Bif, awaiting a response. 

"I guess I didn't either," his friend admitted. “I’ve had enough of that place right now.”

“Walk with me, then?” Derby straightened the clean white collar of his shirt. 

“Sure.”

It was quiet. The evening had completely settled upon the town, the sky a gradient of bright pink and a moody blue. Familiar lighthouse beams shone against the darkening horizon. The sound of the sea relaxed him, always inviting him to reminisce about his hazy days as a very young child, on holidays with his family to otherworldly time zones, where he would run on mystical white beaches while his father’s voice commanded him to behave, and so he did. But now, the sky was a soft bluish purple, and the quiet beach was dark and lulling and his friend was right beside him.

As they walked in silence together, Derby watched Bif, noting his furrowed brow, his mind seemingly unsettled. “Shall we walk down the pier?” he suggested, making his way down the wooden surface perpendicular to their path. Bif was at his elbow and slowly followed him down, his familiar movements sure and steady as his body, yet his face was always an open book. As the sun’s last rays leapt above the buildings, Derby knew he must be anticipating something, but he did not speak. 

III

Derby began to hum a slow, sonorous tune that he could not recognise. This was almost like old times. Derby by his side as they walked through Old Bullworth Vale, then down to the beach, spending the early summer days during free periods there, as he convinced Derby to go diving into the cool waters with him and swim to the lighthouses and back. 

They were alone here, besides a weary eyed middle aged man who could have been thirty five or fifty, in a slightly tatty grey suit who was leaning casually against the ledge looking down into the dark waters below them.

“Man, don’t do it!” Derby called with a grin. The stranger turned to them, and spat, before turning and walking away as he lit a cigarette. 

“I’ve seen that guy before,” Bif insisted. “Comes around here a lot, tries to go where it's quiet."

“Then it’s his unlucky day,” Derby smiled, as they watched the man depart. Despite himself, Bif laughed with him, his previous anxieties lapsing.

“Hey, can you believe Miss Peters had that dumb school play even with everything that happened?” Bif had suddenly felt lighter, and was in the mood for banter.

“Everyone made quite the mess of the school, that’s true,” Derby agreed, “But the auditorium seemed virtually untouched. I didn’t even see any renovations taking place there. I guess nobody bothered with it.

“You know, when father heard what happened he wasn't happy at all. He searched for a prestigious school worthy enough for his investment and then all hell breaks loose." He shook his head in disapproval.

“He’s considering transferring me somewhere else for my last academic year,” Derby confided. 

“Yeah?” Bif was oddly disheartened. “I thought your dad was busy with y'know, stuff.” Derby would occasionally mention his dad and how his business was fairing, but truthfully, Bif never had the patience nor the interest to hear it all out. 

“He is. He really doesn’t have time for all this,” he agreed. "But my God, what a state the school was in afterwards..." 

“Yeah, the place really turned into a total dumpster fire after Hopkins beat your-”

A look of irritation flickered over Derby’s face and Bif stopped short. “Uh, yeah, you know,” he said awkwardly, feigning an itch on his neck. He tried to think of something witty, but his head felt confused and muddled again. With nothing more to say, their conversation dissolved into silence, and they watched the waves in the distance for a while. The islands ahead were sharp shadows, only their dark outlines visible in the late evening light. 

It was certainly like old times, he thought. Nonetheless, something felt misplaced, wrong, and he was unable to focus. 

“Can we talk about it, Derby?” He was venturing blind into a conflict, he could feel it, but he had to try. “I don’t think I gotta explain what I mean.” He braced himself for surprise or even offense from his friend, but his face remained impassive. 

“I’m actually not sure what you mean.”

It was Bif’s turn to look annoyed. Reigning in his sudden anger, he found himself raising his voice more than intended. “You ignored me for ages, and now you’re acting as if everything’s normal.” 

Derby’s neutrality stubbornly asserted itself as he spoke. “There is nothing out of the ordinary here, Bif.”

“Were you mad after I lost to Jimmy?” Bif demanded.

“We have nothing to talk about regarding this matter, I mean it.”

“But you were avoiding me! You avoided me for weeks, Derby!” he said desperately.

“I don’t want to discuss this now-”

“Well I do!”

“Of course I was angry, Bif,” came the reply, and his mask of nonchalance had disappeared.

“I don’t need to explain why, you know that quite well. Can we drop it now?” the corners of his mouth quivered slightly and his voice rose and fell a little as if he couldn’t decide whether to be angry or not.

Bif gave an exasperated sigh as he dragged his hands down his face. Didn’t he realise the guilt he felt after he lost? He disgraced himself, and worse, Derby Harrington. He was one of his closest friends, yet he was unreachable all the same. You lost to him too, Derby, don't you remember?! 

Derby glared at him, jaw clenched. Those sharp eyes, and now he’s finally cutting. “You want me to say I lost too, is that it, Bif?”

There it is, and just how had he figured? It seemed like he could always see what was swimming past the surface, and sometimes, with Derby, he didn’t know himself. Always so precise, never anything less. He spoke of loss, and now he'd taken every word from him. 

IV

Derby recalled that day at the gym too well. Bif lying there, barely conscious, as Hopkins taunted them. It was undeniably embarrassing, and Bif would never know the sensation of anger and betrayal that had struck him afterwards. Not just Bif, but his supposed friends too, humiliated by an apparent nobody, suddenly crowned King. Bif seemed taken aback by his question, and he was unsure if he meant it rhetorically or not. He decided to allow him to feel shaken a moment, before he carried on. He needed to make him understand. 

“Have you ever thought about how the situation affected me, Bif? Just once?” 

Bif was angry, that much was too obvious, but his poise was diminished, almost giving way. He was more than angry, he was upset.

“That’s all I’ve been thinking about since that day, Derby,” he said, quietly this time. Suddenly, he turned away. Derby could hear the waves again for a brief moment, slow and rhythmic, distinctly timed. Bif seemed to focus on an object in the distance before he exhaled loudly and whirled to face Derby again.

"Why does any of this matter anyway? It was just a stupid boxing match!" 

"You think this is about boxing? Oh, you're so naive, Bif. " Derby was indignant. 

"Then what is it about?" Bif pressed him. “You just love patronizing me, I know you do.”

“Patronizing? Did you just learn that word from English class yesterday?” 

"Seriously? Whatever, you're too important to tell me anyways. Keep it to yourself, I don’t care."

He had avoided Bif in his shame, he knew that much. He would not ask questions about his whereabouts to other Preps, but he had picked up on his altered emotional state whenever he saw him, which he would insist to himself was a lesson of sorts, a justified consequence of his own failure. His friends had left him disgusted then, most of all Bif, who seemed to guard his champion title so fiercely beforehand. Bif, who he slowly and so carefully placed his shaky trust into.

“So you’re not even gotta admit you pretended I didn’t exist, right?” Bif looked like he found it impossible to stay still. His fists were clenched, and he seemed almost breathless.

“I would never admit something that wasn’t true.” But it is true, he knows.

“Fuck you, Derby.”

Derby almost flinched. His friend’s venom had left him witless, and he wanted to reply with equal scorn, but the rebuttal would not come.

“And guess what, maybe I didn’t wanna see your face either, Derby.”

“Good. I was getting pretty sick of you, you know.”

He rued his words as soon as they left him, and he averted his gaze. Bif was hurt by this, he knew, and this time, there was no reply, no hostility. A bitter quiet fell on them.

“I didn’t mean that truly, Bif. You know that.”

I’m sorry.

“Yeah.”

"Look, I'm sorry."

Bif voiced his apology like a tired surrender. Derby had never seen him like this. Not even on that day at the gym. There was a terrible vulnerability about the person who stood in front of him.

"Don't say sorry to me,  Bif." 

"I just felt like I owed you-"

"Don’t." he told him. “Don’t apologise.”

“Then what the hell, Derby?” His annoyance was tinged with relief, appearing  somewhat yielding, which Derby was grateful for, as an unexpected tiredness grabbed him. For once, he felt out of control of the unraveling before him. He was being hurled off the tracks and he was finding it hard to steer them both into his direction. He had wanted to see Bif today, take in the reassuring presence he gave him, which became so familiar to him over these past few years. They’d argued, and now he had thrust his apology back into his hands. Bif was one of the few he could not freely take sincerity from, that was his own mistake, and one he just made deliberately. Presently, he felt sickening remorse pooling inside of him, steadily drowning him. 

V

He'd fought with Derby before, but it was usually over something stupid. 

"My dad is more important than your dad!" He'd jokingly taunted one night in a slightly drunken daze, and Bif, also in a liquor induced stupor had gotten angrier than he'd wanted to be. 

Derby had turned away from him and Bif said nothing for some time. It was a similar feeling to the tiresome end of a gruelling fistfight, but he was unsure whether he had won or lost this time. Bif felt lighter now, but consequently emptier too. 

"Bif," Derby began slowly,  "I did wrong you. It was a mistake on my part." 

His admission was unexpected, for sure, and he found himself stricken. He would have felt less surprised if Derby had suddenly burst into awful, messy tears. 

"God, Derby, you weird me out. I’ve known you for years, but you still confuse me." 

He felt uneasy now, and he wished this would end. Derby turned, and Bif expected another disagreement to ensue, but there was none.

"Look, It's fine, Derby. I mean, I guess it’s not fine, but we don't have to bring it up anymore." I'm exhausted. "Let's just forget this, for now." 

Derby looked tired too, for once.

“Okay, Bif.”

He's as shaken as I am, he realised.

“Let’s start to head back. It’s late. If you have any more gripes about me, you can tell me directly on the way.”

At least he could retain his sense of humor.

But it really was late, Bif realised. The stars were coming out, and the town’s usual toll had trailed off into silence, save for the occasional car rumbling through the street. They made their way wordlessly across the pier, turning toward the Academy. He almost hated Derby that night, yet he still he wanted him by his side, and despite his fatigue, he wouldn’t have minded staying there a while longer with him. 

There was a peaceful air following them as they traveled to the place they’d had to call home for the school year. A yellow crescent moon was suspended in the cloudless dark sky. The night was warm, and still young. They would arrive well before midnight anyways, and when they reached the Academy, they knew it was past curfew, but Derby had made sure early on in the year that they would go unnoticed by the displeased prefects who wandered the school grounds with torches at night, looking for troublemakers. After all, they loved money, same as everyone else. And besides, it seemed pointless to enforce a curfew on the second last day of school. When they entered the house, the lights were dimmed and it was mostly quiet, except for the muffled sound of footsteps on one of the top floors. They started to make their way upstairs and through a carpeted hallway decorated with paintings and houseplants. Bif stopped suddenly.

“Wait, Derby, are you really leaving Bullworth?” 

He eyed Bif for a moment before answering. “I certainly hope not. How am I going to find so many lackeys who are willing to fight for me in a new school in so little time?” he said, looking at Bif, a laugh breaking out of his neutral expression, and Bif let out a chortle. 

“Man, hadn’t thought of that,”

They stood there in the faint lamplight, so mellow it made him slightly dizzy.

“I gotta go to bed, have an important day of doing nothing tomorrow,” Bif said. As Derby laughed, he looked younger, and for a brief second he was the person who would sneak out of dinner parties with him as a lark and explore the old, stately home they’d both been confined in for the evening, finding dubious locked doors and dusty basements.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then, Bif,” he said, laying a hand on his arm, suddenly pausing. He could feel his warmth through his cotton shirt. He realised how much he had sweated that evening in the summer heat, but either Derby didn’t care or didn’t pay any attention. A sensation in his chest exulted, unsettled him. There was the flicker of longing he’d experienced through the years, now plain and clear as day, and not so uncertain as it used to be. Derby seemed to linger there for a second, lifting his ambiguous gaze to his own eyes, keeping it there, making him restless, but in that moment, Derby began to back off into his room. And when he tore his hand away, Bif almost objected, calling his name and telling him to wait. Derby just stood there in anticipation, and when Bif asked if he was okay, he replied in that affected tone that Bif had always hated, asking why he shouldn’t be. Bif just shrugged his shoulders, and Derby then hastily bid him goodbye, retreating into his room. The door clicked shut, leaving him there.

When he finally went to bed, his frustration had begun to stir among his fatigue and he wondered if he was wrong to think he might fall asleep that night. At one point, the heat in his room was stifling, and he leapt up from his bed and threw open the windows. When he was finally able to close his eyes, he thought of Derby, the sea and its lighthouses, his wanting and his hurt, and the mess he’d thrown himself into. One more day and they’d be apart, and now he wished that he’d caught Derby’s arm before he’d made himself scarce that night.

______________________________________________________________

Notes

Hey, If you read the full thing, I greatly appreciate it! This was quite difficult to write at times because the characters of Bif and Derby were not given so much nuance in the game itself, so it was quite challenging to write a story that delves into their psyche and way of thinking. I wrote this with the intention of exploring their individual characters and feelings toward each other a bit further, especially after the events of the Dishonorable Fight and Complete Mayhem missions. The interactions and the implications of their relationship dynamic are quite interesting to me. Please feel free to tell me what you thought, and once again, thank you for reading!

-A

[sacred-pro-fiction]

It turns out that the reason Meg's dialogue seemed so uncharacteristically cruel given the circumstances is because she's still going through dialogue from BEFORE i beat the last boss. I've beaten the last boss around 20 times now. So basically she responded to something Zagreus said that I assumed was about CURRENT events, and that made it sound awful out of context.

Im being vague as hell to avoid spoilers but anyways she's not as godawful as I feared, and she's made hints at not really wanting to stop Zag from seeing his mother, and is acknowledging his attempts to apologize for whatever he said in the past. The zone of meg hating has been lifted.

Meanwhile Thanatos is so desperate. "No talk me I angy" ass bitch lmaoo. I heard thru the grapevine that he actually starts treating Hypnos better at your interference too so

BUT IM SO FAR WITH DUSA AND I HATE KNOWING WHAT I KNOW. THIS IS SUCH BULL. THEIR ROMANCE IS SO CUTE.