#but this is important now and i am tired and its 1 am so if theres errors thats why lol

[actual-changeling]

Joel cannot remember when it started, not that it is all that important, really, but after only a few weeks the hair tie on his right wrist has become just as much of a constant as the watch on his left. It is not always the same one, he is so attuned to it for some reason he picks up on the slightest variations in pressure and color, and on the rare occasion that he ends up taking it off, he easily finds a new one somewhere around the house. They're everywhere, on the coffee table and the kitchen counter, between the couch cushions, and in his jacket pockets, and he is acutely aware that the growing number of hair ties is his own fault.

Ellie had made a few comments here and there over breakfast or during movie nights that she never has one when she especially needs it. The complaint had buried through his skull and into his brain, taking root until he had made it his most important mission to solve what was a minor annoyance for her at best but oddly important to him.

The first time he had presented one to her, it had taken her several seconds of heavy blinking to fully process what he was offering her, palm outstretched and hovering between them. Once she had, the expression blooming on her face had looked so similar to Sarah's on Christmas mornings all air had left his body.

"What's that for?"

The wonder in her voice had tasted like hot chocolate and cinnamon, his heart filling with a familiar warmth, and he would be damned if he did not do everything he could to give her the childhood Christmases she should have had - hell, the entire childhood she deserves but never got to experience. Joel had heard the smile lacing his words, and Ellie's had grown in turn, her nose scrunching and eyes twinkling.

"Just because."

Ellie had thrown him glances heavy with an innocent curiosity all evening, prompting Joel to hold her even closer than usual when she eventually fell asleep half draped over his lap. Such a tiny, almost casual offering, and for a reason he still cannot quite grasp, it means more to her than he could have ever imagined, so he keeps doing it. Whenever Joel sees one, he trades for it with whatever he has on hand, although most people are happy to give them up without anything in return or a loose promise to come by if there's work for him, and he gives it to Ellie as soon as he is through the door; by now, it has become an expectation rather than an unexpected gift.

Sure, maybe it is less about Ellie's non-existent hair tie draught and more about the beaming smile she still gives him every single time, eyes so bright he has gotten lost in the joy on her face on numerous occasions. Ellie notices whenever it happens, eyes swimming with fond exasperation, and if it bothers her that he hugs her extra tightly afterward, the bubbling mix of love and satisfaction demanding to express themselves physically, if not verbally, she never complains.

Joel brings home another hair tie today, a black one already on his wrist, and he is barely through the door when Ellie practically launches herself into his arms, face buried in his chest as his arms come up to wrap around her, shifting her just the slightest bit to the right to keep them both from toppling to the ground.

"What's that for?"

Keeping the fondness out of his voice is impossible, and he has given up on trying to do so. Ellie doesn't pull back like she usually does, and his breaths come easier despite the fact that her crushing hug constricts his lungs, and Joel gently rests his cheek on top of her head with a love-struck expression he knows deep-down mirrors hers, fingers carding through her hair.

"Just because," she mumbles, and the smile she wears all evening follows him for days, the stitches she uses to put his heart back together looking suspiciously like hair ties.

[kavehater]

I wish I could inject pasilyo into my brain so I can have permanent happiness

[feywildfox]

Mm i left bandom space a long long time ago. I mean I'm not that old but ten years ago is still pretty long. And frankly if i overstep lemme know.

Honestly at this point i shouldnt be surprised so many people are actually still inherently racist towards Ray, but also i think, i should be. Because i genuinely expected better from mcr bandom, but again, left bandom spaces a decade ago...

It's pretty sad? Like. I'll admit, I didn't realize Ray was actually a man of colour when i was younger. I think i realized right around the time i left at 15 or so. Which also really goes to show that racism towards him and making him seem as white as possible which definitely i think was a thing. Like in comparison, I knew pete wentz was mixed long before i figured out Ray was a poc. It says a lot about the space at the time and i had honestly thought it'd be better now.

I've loved mcr for years, but i havent been IN love with them for a while. It happens, relationships and feeling wax and wane. But this tour, the excitement and love recently ignited in not just Gerard with all their gender fuckery, but the whole band, has brought a love and joy back into my life for music that hit me in the heart as a preteen and teenager.

And none of that would be possible without Ray Toro putting his all into the feelings and conveying of in his music. Mikey made the band, but ray MAKES the band. He is absolutely fucking integral and it is disgusting & disheartening to see him treated such a way. What the fuck even, hearing that streamers are zooming in on frank during Rays solos?? Like do the fuck better? I'm honestly disappointed as fuck in that shit. Like I know this whole thing is a little disjointed stream of consciousness type post but really. White people do better challenge! Its literally SO fucking easy. The real camera guys are RIGHT THERE showing what to fucking do!

You can love the others as much as you want but jesus fuck give Ray the same fucking courtesy. Stop ignoring your racism, start recognizing the issues that plague you from being white and growing up in white privilege. I sure as fuck still have plenty of shit to work on but at least i can say i can do the bare fucking MINIMUM of giving Ray Toro the respect and attention he absolutely fucking deserves.

Like I do hope this is understood I am not trying to speak over anyone but simply say from one white to another: you need to do better. If that's how you treat a member of supposedly one of your fav bands, i genuinely fear for the poc you encounter in your life. The harm you cause by staying blind may be incremental but it builds up until it's a mountain. Do fucking better.

[scarletwix]

Guys I'm so tired. :c who let the insomnia back in the house

[the-acid-pear]

I'm sooo frustrated with my dad atm. I'm exhausted in general as previously mentioned but my dad's refusal to solve anything which directly affects me because I depend on him. Like I'm fucking disabled that's the thing and the more I'll stay the same if I'm not given the tools and help and etc I need.

[crystalandbow]

APHRODITE MESSAGES 💌

Hi!

Let's dive into your messages from Aphrodite

Intuitively pick a pile 👇🏻 and check the corresponding message to it! & I hope you enjoy the reading

FREE TAROT

PILE 1

1212, " I am sexy, I am divine", "affirm"

Y'all are fucking kings and queens and princesses. Just shut up, y'all pretty (inside out) asf.

PRIORITISE YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS.

Y'all be settling for bread crumbs and shit but stop! Like self worth where?

Stop hurting yourself for petty things/people and start to enjoy life. Celebrate yourself.

You could have a talent for natural healing powers so make use of it. The upright Queen of Pentacles can also signify someone involved in a nature religion such as a white witch. It can be an indication that you may have an interest in or a natural talent for Earth magic such as creating potions using herbs.

Connect with Aphrodite if you want to add more peace and calmness into your life. You might also have some (green flag) suitors that want to make you theirs.

" Confident " for some it is asking you to be more confident while for some it shows that you are confident in yourself & your abilities

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

PILE 2

"pours out their heart to us"

A change is coming your way.

What change you may ask,

You are now on the verge of releasing all that has been holding you back, you are now realising the value of something (your own worth, value of a person, time, effort, anything) and this is going to bring in a new flow of motion.

New love, new feelings or new passion could be anything but it's good!

You might be going through some tough times but you are very brave and standing high. And this new thing is your reward for trusting the universe. Keep slaying and working hard💪🏻

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

PILE 3

Y'all could be feeling tired, disturbed, pissed at everything (or something specific) we actually have very similar cards to pile two.

you have a new opportunity being presented to you rn / soon. this opportunity is brought to you by the divine itself. GRAB IT BITCH! this thing is important for you, it has a potential to grow and get big/ successful. depending on what the thing is it will show you its benefits/pros. it will likely bring you in contact with the right people/ your soulmates/ soul family.

how will you recognize it though? one sign could be your desire for wanting to go for it, you could be naturally talented too.

another message could be that you need to give out to people, help people, be a provider. this could be you providing guidance to people or money or hope/motivation, basically anything.

for some who have been thinking about sharing content online, this is your sign to do it! (and tag me/jkkkk)

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

PILE 4

Y'all seem confused and stuck? Like everything "looks" alright but doesn't intuitively feel right. You are unsure if it's you whose the problem or the other thing, something around those lines, yk?

not here to scare you but yall better be careful. Your intuition is on spot especially with that one thing/person.

If something/someone is giving you weird vibes and you can't figure out why then it's the universe trying to speak to you through your intuition. your intuition needs to be addressed, try to dig in deeper with "why" you've been feeling so.

Just be a Lil cautious, that's it ig.

Hope the reading helped. This is a general reading so Only take what resonates. bye see you next time!

[vminizzle]

Under the bed pt.2

pairing : college boyfriend!jungkook x f.reader

genre : smut, fluff

warnings : marking, pet names, praising, teasing, fingering, handjob, nipple play, dirty talk, shower sex, penetration, unprotected sex

words count : 3.2k

A/N : hello hello my dear people, like promised here’s the part 2 of "under the bed". It’s my first time writing shower seggs, nipple play, dirty talk and handjob 🧍🏽‍♀️ pls have some mercy on me. thanks. Thank you for reading my writings guys, it means a lot. I know I’m saying it often but it’s not enough to express how thankful I am. Love y’all! REMINDER : POOR ENGLISH

you can read "under the bed pt.1" (HERE)

FEEDBACKS ARE VERY WELCOMED

M RATED

Jungkook groaned into your neck as a loud knock echoed through the room.

"y/n, baby be quiet ´m tired." he yawned, laying his leg over your body as he hug you tightly.

"kook." you whined opening your eyes, the sunlight caressing your face.

"y/n!" you gasped as you heard your dad at the other side of the door.

"fuck." you sat up panicked as you looked down at a sleepy Jungkook grabbing your arm to cuddle.

"Jungkook!" you whisper-yelled.

"my dad is here." you slapped his bare scratched back making him groan.

"tell him to go away then." he closed his tired eyes again as a cute pout made its way on his lips, sleep getting him again.

He’s definitely not aware of the situation.

"gosh." you rubbed your eyes already anxious in the early morning - wait - what time is it-

"y/n, are you still sleeping? It’s past 12 already. Are you ok?" you dad asked a bit worried.

"h-hello dad.. I just woke up sorry. I was just tired." you said while stretching your sore muscles.

"oh ok. can you open the door? I need to talk with you. It’s important." he asked.

You opened your eyes widely panicking as you glanced down again at the naked exhausted man hugging your waist.

"y/n? you sleeping again?"

"no no dad. I’m fine. Hm, can you just tell me now?"

"y/n open the door please." he asked confused at why you were so hesitant.

"hm.. i.. yea. just give me a minute." you bit your bottom lip throwing the blanket to the side as you got out the bed.

"Jungkook."you grabbed your boyfriend’s heavy arm pulling him to you.

"c’mon, wake up idiot." you shook him as he open his eyes slowly before sending your a soft smile.

"g’morning my love." he greeted you with his hot deep morning voice.

lord, you would had asked him to make babies but it wasn’t the good time.

"shh." you put your finger over your own lips gesturing him to stay quiet.

He looked at you confused, his eyes suddenly darkening as they wandered on your body. Marks covering your bare legs, the way he could noticed that you weren’t wearing a bra under his shirt you stole last night.

Nice, he’s hard now.

"please get up my dad’s here." you pointed to the door.

Jungkook jumped out the bed only wearing his boxer.

"what? since when? why didn’t you tell me!?" he grabbed you by your shoulders making you face him.

"well, idiot, I tried to but Sir was too tired to listen to me." you pinched his nose.

"I’m tired because you stole my whole night." he defended himself smirking.

"shut the fuck up. You’re the one that stole my night." you pursed your lips bending down to grab his jeans from the floor and handing it to him.

"now go. go hide somewhere."

"under the bed?" he raised an eyebrow, his eyes still puffy.

"why not." you sigh before rushing to grab a sweatpants from your closet and wear it to cover your legs quickly.

You glanced back one last time to the bed making sure your boyfriend was well-hidden before unlocking your bedroom’s door.

"good morning dad." you forced a smile as your dad stare at you.

"morning, what took you so long? you sure you’re okay?" he furrowed his eyebrows.

"oh y’know your daughter huh. so lazy I take a century to get up… I’m exhausted." you faked a yawn.

"did you sleep late?" you gulped rethinking quickly about last night’s events.

"I.. I.. well, not really." you lied.

"Can I come in?"

"Ah! Yes." you let him walk in the room.

You observed as he came closer to the bed stopping right in front of it.

"Dad, you alright?" you asked nervously.

"yes." he answered before sitting on the edge of it.

"Well, I came to tell you something important." he cleared his voice.

"tell me." you walked closer to your dad, giving him all your attention.

"i’m going overseas for a week for work. So, I’ll leave you alone… again." he sighed making you smile softly as he looked up at you a bit sad.

"dad-"

"do you want to sleep at your aunt’s? friend’s? or maybe I can call a babysitter." he suggested making you chocked.

"A what? Dad! I’m not a kid anymore." you protested making him laugh.

"I know, I’m sorry. I just.. I’m just worried, I don’t like knowing you alone."

"Dad, you don’t have to worry about that. I can take care of myself." you reassured him.

"I know you can." he smiled.

"When are you leaving?" you asked curiously.

"This afternoon." he sighed annoyed.

"I got this important e-mail from my boss late last night. He really needs me to represent the company in Japan."

You were about to talk again when you noticed one of Jungkook’s shoes near the foot of your bed. You gulped as you walk to it, trying to kick it discreetly under your bed as you spoke again.

"I.. well, I’m sure you got this! You always slay!" you said enthusiastically making your dad laugh.

"Thanks for your encouraging words y/n." he got up patting your shoulder.

"well, I need to go prepare my luggage." You walked him to the door but before exiting the room he looked at you with a confused expression.

"What is it?"

"Did you have that shirt last night? this isn’t yours, right? I’ve never seen it." he pointed to the black oversized shirt.

Now it’s over. You’re dead.

"Y-Yes! I had this last night but … I guess you couldn’t saw it in the dark.. and I bought this recently that’s why it’s new.. and hm.. well go go do your luggage you will be late." You hugged him quickly pushing him outside your room gently. "oh ok! See you soon. Take care. I’ll message you." he waved at you as he walk away, your heart sinking as you watched your dad go to his own bedroom.

You locked your door, turning around as you heard your boyfriend speak.

"Your dad is really something." he commented as he crawled out from under the bed.

"and again, I was ready to face death." he grinned.

"Look what I found." He raised his hand up, holding your bra in the air.

You rolled your eyes as he smirk, discarding the garment on your bed.

"gosh I love waking up next to you." He laid on your bed again, hand up gesturing you to come to him. You approached your half naked boyfriend, as he sat up.

"Can I give you a morning kiss?" he asked caressing your cheek.

"Not before you brush your teeth." you ruffled his messy hair.

"Are you kidding me?" he gasped grabbing you by your waist pulling you between his parted legs.

"Let me kiss you." he pouted playfully making you sigh. "please?"

"fine! But just a peck. Because morning breath ain’t my thing." you pursed your lips making him grin widely.

"I’ll go with that then." he pulled you down on him so you could sit on his lap, hand going behind your lower back to hold you close to his warm body.

He pecked your lips softly, resting his lips on yours.

"I allowed a peck only." you pulled away laughing making him groan as he let his body fell back on the mattress.

"y/n." he huffed.

"what?" you held his hand resting on your thigh.

"I want you." he stared at you making your cheeks warm up.

"You made me hard." he whined as you look down gulping, realizing the bulge confined in his -now tight- boxer.

"Last night wasn’t enough?" you joked.

"I can’t get enough of you darling." he smirked.

"Jungkook." you diverted your gaze away feeling flustered.

"don’t you want me too?" god if only he knew how much you do.

"I … just… you.. morning breath!" you reminded, making him sat up abruptly, pushing you aside as he started walking away.

"wait, where are you going?" you asked confused.

"bathroom. gonna brush those teeth so I could put them at work to take these pretty panties off." he winked before disappearing into your bedroom-connected-bathroom.

The excitement was bubbling inside you. His words always affecting you.

He’s just so confident.

After a few minutes, Jungkook came out from the bathroom, face fresh, his hair pushed back.

"now, your turn pretty." he pointed to you then to the bathroom, making you nod as you pass by him, this one taking the opportunity to deliver a light slap on your ass.

Entering the bathroom, you looked at yourself in the mirror.

gosh, you looked dead. last night, this man didn’t joke. he really stole your whole night.

Just after brushing your teeth, you slightly jumped when someone opened the door abruptly.

"god, Jungkook! you scared me." you threw water on him making him chuckle as he closed the door behind him.

"sorry sorry." he came behind you, looking at the both of you in the mirror.

"Look at you. So pretty." he commented before leaning into your neck, pressing a soft kiss on the still sensitive marked skin.

The hickeys so fresh, you lucky your dad didn’t notice.

You closed your eyes enjoying the softness of his lips against your neck.

Jungkook bit on the flesh lightly, making you moan, tilting your head to the side offering him more to explore.

He suddenly turned you around, looking straight into your eyes, his hands resting on your hips.

"Can I kiss you properly now, my love?" he lifted an eyebrow up expectantly.

“kiss me.” you smiled grabbing him by the back of neck pulling him down to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

Jungkook deepened the kiss getting excited, his grip on your hips tightening as he pushed his body on yours, caging you between the sink and his muscular body.

“I need you so bad, you can’t even imagine.” he breathed out, grinding his clothed erection on your lower stomach making you feel dizzy already.

“I want you too.” you whispered, your heart beating faster.

He suddenly turned you around making you face the mirror again.

His hands went down to the hem of your -his- shirt, slowly pulling it up over your head revealing your beautifully marked body making you shiver at the cold air hitting your skin.

His eyes met yours in the mirror “look at how fucking pretty you are, only for me.” he tilted his head to the side as he watch you close your eyes.

He threw the shirt in the basket of dirty clothes near the door, hands now on the waistband of your sweatpants ready to pull it down your legs.

He pushed it down after the nod of consent you gave him, leaving you in your panties.

His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, eyes on your bare chest.

“fuck.” Jungkook muttered, hands slowly caressing their ways up from your sides to cup them, grabbing them gently.

You moaned softly, resting your head back on his bare chest.

He stroked his thumb lightly against your nipple making you breath heavily.

You watched him fondle with your breasts, eyes focusing on him twisting your nipple between his thumb and forefinger, feeling dizzy as he bent down a little, lips connecting with your neck again, biting on the sensitive flesh.

You rubbed your thighs together getting too excited, one of his hand cascading down to where you wanted him.

"Jungkook." you whimpered as his fingertips came in contact with your lightly covered clit.

He hummed against your skin, rubbing it softly making you grab on his wrist.

Your boyfriend lifted his head, eyes meeting yours in the mirror as you turned your head toward the shower.

He instantly got the hint, both of you getting rid of your underwear before walked toward it.

You turned it on, stepping under the water, feeling the liquid getting warmer as you closed your eyes pleasantly.

Jungkook stood right behind your naked body, hands finding their places on your stomach pulling you closer to him.

The atmosphere was getting hot, not only because of the really warm water falling on your bodies pleasantly, perhaps, your boyfriend’s hand lowering down between your thighs was the reason.

Shivers ran down your spine as you felt his boner rubbing on your lower back, his breath fanning on your neck.

"I need you so so bad, y/n." he whispered lowly.

"you can’t even imagine how much." he continued, fingertips travelling up to your core.

"how much, I want to feel you around me." two of his long fingers teased your entrance making you gulp.

"how much, I want to stretch you, feel you tighten around me." he slowly entered his fingers inside you, earning him a soft moan.

"how much I want to make you scream my name loudly." he nibbled on your earlobe making you roll you eyes in pleasure as his fingers pick up the pace, moving faster.

"Jungkook." you rested your head back on his shoulder making him smirk.

"Am I making you feel good, baby?" he whispered near your ear.

"s-so good." you held his wrist tightly.

Feeling you clenched around his fingers, he knew you were getting close.

His free hand came to your chest, fondling your breast again, thumb flicking your nipple making you let out a loud moan.

"shh, baby don’t want your dad to hear you, do you?" he teased, thumb coming in contact with your clit to rub it, adding stimulation to push you closer to your orgasm.

You shook your head, biting on your bottom lip hard to keep quiet.

You couldn’t held it anymore when his finger hit that spot that could make you see start as you came on his fingers.

Jungkook caressed your waist, fingers still moving helping you ride your orgasm.

"you did well, princess." he pecked your cheek.

After a few seconds, you turned around instantly grabbing him by his neck, pulling him down on you for a kiss.

Jungkook’s arms encircled your body, pulling you closer, your chest flat again his muscular one.

You sucked on his bottom lip, making him moan at the feeling of your tongue.

Your hand was placed on his front toned body, letting it slid down with the warm water until your hand reached his hard cock.

Your hand grabbed his erection making him groaned.

"fuck." he put his forehead on yours, looking down at your fingers enveloping his cock perfectly.

You started moving your wrist, stroking his cock painfully slow, your thumb rubbing on the head of it making it twitch.

"fuck! keep going." he closed his eyes shut tight as you tighten your grip, moving faster.

"are you close babe?" your heard him hummed in response.

You rubbed your thumb over the slit, making him let his head fall on your shoulder, a low moan passing by his lips.

"fuck, i want you." he grabbed your hand stopping your movement.

"right. now." he looked into your eyes deeply, your breath hitching.

He captured your lips in a eager kiss, backing you to the cold shower wall before grabbing one of your thigh raising it up to his waist.

Your hands found his long black wet hair, fingers pulling on the locks as you felt his other hand lowering down to your core, a finger sliding through your folds, collecting your wetness.

"gosh you’re so wet for me." he smirked making you roll your eyes.

"no, that’s just water." you pursed your lips as he lightly slapped your thigh making you laugh.

"wasn’t funny. didn’t laugh." he shook his head playfully.

"you no fun." you grinned before pecking his lips quickly earning a smile from your boyfriend.

"C’mon, I’ll show you how fun I can be." he poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue making your inside twist.

He was so hot.

His hand guided his hard cock to your entrance, sliding the tip through your wet folds, teasing you.

He pushed inside you slowly, his cock filling you up causing you to let out a loud moan.

Jungkook smirked seeing your already weak state, before pulling out, letting just his tip inside.

"stop teasing idiot." you groaned frustrated.

"you said I’m no fun." he pouted playfully making you roll your eyes.

"you’re so unserious." you huffed.

"well, you sure about that?" he said before thrusting forward, your hands gripping on his shoulder tightly.

"fuck!"

One of his hand still held your thigh securely above his waist, while the other gripped your hip, keeping your body pressed against his.

"C’mon tell me I’m fun." he put his forehead on yours making you scoffed.

"Jungkook. Are you fucking serious right n- ah fuck!" you whimpered, nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders as he picked up the pace.

"never been more serious." he said between breath.

You ran your fingers through his wet hair, one hand still holding on his shoulder.

"C’mon baby." he ordered, his hips snapping into yours making you let a sob pass by your lips.

"tell me i’m fun."

"fuck it! you’re.. you’re fun." you threw your head back against the wall as he kept on hitting your g-spot.

"you’re such a good girl." Jungkook smirked against your marked skin, leaving little wet kisses.

You slapped the back of his head making him groan.

"and you’re such an annoying idiot."

"your annoying idiot." he snickered.

You closed your eyes feeling the familiar knot in the pit of stomach as Jungkook went faster, your body pressed against the cold shower wall.

"oh my- I’m so close." you bit on your bottom lip, feeling the taste of blood, realizing you’ve been biting on it hardly.

"me too." Jungkook breathed out.

You planted your head against Jungkook’s shoulder, his fingernails buried deep into your hip as he held it tightly.

The head of his cock touching your spot at each snaps of his hips which made your body quiver in pleasure.

You thought you were about to faint when you felt his hand cascading down between your bodies to your clit drawing little circles on it.

Your walls started convulsing around him, making him feel lightheaded.

"C’mon my love." he licked your jawline.

"Cum for me." he ordered.

It was the last straw, his deep voice making your heart beat faster, as you came around him with a loud moan of his name.

"fuck! I’m-" Jungkook couldn’t finished his sentence as he pulled out, cumming on your shaky thighs.

Jungkook held you against him, strong arms wrapped around your waist, your knees ready to give up if you didn’t support yourself on something.

"you did well, so well." he said soothing you, hand caressing your back.

"i love you." you whispered, looking up at him.

He grinned widely before leaving a soft kiss on your forehead "i love you."

After a few seconds, you pulled away from his embrace, grabbing your shampoo handing it to him.

Jungkook tilted his head to the side confused as he took the bottle from your hands.

"wash my hair?" you smiled cutely pointing to your head, making his heart melt.

"I’d love to." he said before pecking your lips one last time before turning your body around.

—

A/N : ong my fav couple ☹️ my turn when?? *sigh* anyway, I hope you liked it! love you guys!! take care of yourselves.

[your-girl-mj]

The truth. [42!Miles Morales x Spiderwoman!reader]

summary: He wants the truth, and you can't give it to him.

warning: cursing, mentions of cheating, accusations, arguments. angst (?)

notes: written in 3rd point of view,

created: july 25, 2023

published: july 26, 2023

exhausted, tired, drained. those three words are to describe what [name] is feeling. dragging her legs on the floor of the empty, quiet hallway of her apartment building. her suit hidden inside her (miles') jacket and some loose pants that her boyfriend gifted her.

Miguel gave her a rough mission with two anomalies on the loose in the same dimension. it's a good thing she her battles didn't leave wounds. god, she missed her bed already. the soft sheets, with miles snuggle up to her from behind.

the girl smiled at the thought of the one she loved the dearest and thinking about what he's doing at this time of hour, [1:47 am]. her heart melted at the image of miles sleeping soundly in his bed and how good he looked when his brows were relaxed and not formed into a scowl.

the air paused its way into her lungs when she opened her apartment door and saw the said boyfriend leaning on the couch's back rest, facing the door. as if he knew she would come back at this time of hour.

her grip on the knob tightened, but not too tight. yet her fingers left a dent on the cold metal. "miles! hey, i didn't know you were coming over." [name] beamed warmly at him, acting as if she didn't come home so early in the morning.

miles' stare was hard and unnerving. "where were you?" he asked, tilting his head as if challenging her for the truth. "the last message i sent you was around nine, saying I'll come over, and its one in the fucking morning." he push himself off the couch, approaching his s/o with threatening steps, slowly closing the door behind her. "so... where were you?"

his face was inches from her, and she hates fights. especially fights with miles. "i was working overti—"

"you said you were sick." miles suck his cheek, breathing out his nose, not buying to her another lie.

"i am!" she defended, quickly thinking another excuse when it was clear she was caught in the spotlight. "por eso... de camino aquí, compré medicinas, teroso." she took his arm, softly squeezing it to ease his worried thoughts. remembering about her last excuse to miles, she told him when he asked for a sleepover. [that's why... on my way here, i bought medicines, treasure.]

though, it didn't stop him from going to her apartment. he wanted to take care of her after she told him she had a high fever. with his mom working in the hospital, he knew a little bit of medicines and treatment. but he was met in an empty home.

his eyes narrowed, not fluttering from her touch, yet he made no effort to lean away from it. "i was so worried." his tone almost gone mute, "i came to your window because i thought you were resting, you weren't there." miles couldn't help his voice as it started to weaver, "pensé que estabas en la sala de estar pero no estabas allí. i've even looked the streets for you." he sighed. [I thought you were in the living room, but you weren't there.]

he runs his hand into his face in exhaustion, as [name] stayed in silent with guilt — guilt, that is slowly eating her up for not telling him everything. he needs to know, he deserves to know. but the thought of him causing his life to save hers always goes through her head. once he knows it's his s/o, he'll feel the need to protect her when she is supposedly protecting him.

"miles, I'm sorry for worrying you." 'and for every lie i told you...' the girl utter yet few words are left in her mind, she embraced him. griping his shirt, having a feeling that shit will be going down soon. "i have something important to do and—"

"and what? tell me." he pulled away as much as he wanted to stay in her arms, but he's a little too pissed right now. "tell me where you were. it's been months." [name] felt her heart drop with culpability, miles known for a long time now. his hard stare soon softens, hating how he's acting.

"cariño, sé que me has estado mintiendo, te conozco. dime por favor..." whispered in his soft voice with her hands in his, miles kissed the back of her palms, he feels like begging for the truth now. [I know you've been lying to me, I know you. Tell me please...]

his patience is getting thinner and thinner as days passed. his girl, disappearing with excuses and lies that he didn't point out. but what's a relationship without trust?

her eyes met his, [name] breath out. "miles..."

"all I'm asking is for you to be honest." his hold tighten, already have a thought about what will happen.

"i... can't tell you." her lips pursed, turning for head to the side. he'll die if he knows about her identity. with all her other version in multiverses; their miles as spiderman... left in dust, crying his eyes out, her body in his arms covered in her own blood. what can prevent such a tragic event when their roles are now reversed?

[name] closed her eyes, trying to leave those horrible thoughts, now breath heavily. she saw other versions of miles, they're mostly spider-people, and her fate in their canon event always left shivers. much like her coworker gwen stacy, her canon event made her peter parker died, when it got their roles reverse.

she can not risk it. she can't. she'll break.

"why not?" miles' jaw visibly clenched, his mind is slowly clouded with horrible doubts.

"miles, you need to understand — " she paused, "i just... can't lose you... i can't tell you." she turned her head away, unable to witness the hurt and anger mixed in his face. it's hard to lie to him. it's hard to resist his plead at times. but there are times when it has its limit.

miles stood, back straight. towering over [name], his face held betrayal when she peaked, and she knew where this was about to go. "you're cheating on me, aren't you?" his face holds a scowl, disappointment, distrust, betrayal mixed into an expression.

"what? no!" she was quick to deny, "i would never do that to you." she frown, hurt for being accused by such a thing.

"that explains more than you ever told me." his tone is starting to rise, with her on his tail matching his voice.

"why don't you trust me?!" her hands flown with an exaggerated movement.

"i did! but you keep on disappearing!" they're now head to head. one holding her ground while the other digging deep for the truth. "on dates, hangouts, movie nights, even in the middle of dinner! what is more to not assume?!"

"its was an emergency!" it was easy to tell the neighbours are listening to the argument right now. how can you not? when the couple who are oh-so-lovely are fighting about one of them cheating.

"of course it was!" her s/o's voice laced with sarcasm before it turned into a venom. "not to mention, i can hear you talking to guys on the phone!"

"it was my boss! he needs me for something!" with her unconventional strength at this moment, she accidentally left a crack on the wall when her hand smacked it while explaining. but miles didn't notice. his eyes were on her, and it didn't leave for a split second.

"yeah right, and what about that tall fucking dude with the funky ass hair?!" he pointed on the couch, remembering when he caught the two of them drinking soda and saying he was a friend at work. he believed her, of course he believed her. but right now, he's doubting eveything.

"i told you, hobie was a friend from work!" she defended once again, not telling the full truth. "i invited him in that time because we both needed rest!"

"rest from what exactly?!" miles felt like punching something, anything. horrible images flashing in his mind, he despise it. he deeply despite the thought.

"you don't understand, i'm doing this for you!" she yelled, dropping the subject. knowing if this continued one or both with end up getting hurt. wounded by harsh words.

"¡ay bendito!" he shouted, his hands almost pulling his braids out as he ran his hand on his head. "enough with your bullshit excuses! if it's not true, then what is the truth? tell me." he demanded, infuriated.

— choose your ending:

tell him the truth.

lie for his safety.

this is the first time in a while to write again, but miles keep running in my mind 😩

[lovebvni]

intuitive messages pac !!

THIS IS FROM 2023!! BE FOREWARNED

┈

│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

╰─────────────────

[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 7.31.23

[  ] published ⋮  7.31.23

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hello earthlings, its been a while since i've done a pac, mainly because of MANY personal issues - but thats not important. i thought for a while and went back to my old pac's and i found an older one i made and i remembered, my intuition is just as powerful as ever - so why do i need tarot cards now?

today i'm just going to have 10 messages/sentences the universe wants you to hear. they can be specific or general.  remember, take everything can be taken with a grain of salt, and your future can be changed. you are in control.

now please, find your inner peace, connect to your soul.

understand these messages were meant to find you, and see what is left for you.

inhale, exhale, and pick a pile

Pile 1 - Watching

confirmation :

procrastinating, pushing things off, turning the other cheek, tumblr, the colour purple (show or the actual colour), spacing out, spirits, double meaning, two faced, gemini, hidden meanings/words, red eyes (tired, puffy), burnt out, music, 'good night, sleep tight, don't let the demons fight.', the letter s, sharks, 'the grass is greener'.

side note : the month of august (summer in general) be significant for your shifting/spiritual journey.

Your messages

1. Why would you wait when you could just grab at it? It's right there. Don't let it rot.

2. "Hello? Are you there, listening? Listen to me. I'm here to help. I promise." (this could be an inner voice or a spirit guide)

3. Be your own boss. Keep going.

4. Pass on to the next step (Death to life)

5. You know what's there, talk to it. "I wont hurt you."

6. Listen, don't speak.

7. Let it go. Be like Elsa, don't let it bother you anymore.

8. Mind, Body and Soul. You're in harmony. Use it to your advantage.

9. Advise and criticize. And use the same techniques on yourself.

10. Peace and love. You deserve it. You know you do. And you will find it, soon.

Pile 2 - Renew

conformation :

saiki k, giving up, letting go, leaving things behind, mental overload, 'Jesus fucking Christ', jealous, letting go of that person, shadow work, yellow, outlook, aries, the moon, big lips, 333, the number 3.

Your messages

1. Bite down. Let it flow into your veins, your soul, your spirit. Its part of you now.

2. Is it a real worry, or just something from your past you don't want to let go of?

3. Jail. Time to rest. Now.

4. Eat and care for your physical body. You can't idolize shifting. You're not getting anywhere doing that.

5. Look in the mirror - no. Not at the past. At who you are now. Who you've become.

6. You have the balls. Go fucking do it.

7. Don't accept the truth from other people, find and make your own. That's what they see, not what you know.

8. Her claws. Her teeth. She's manipulating you. Let her go. Rip away from her. She's wasting your time, energy and draining your soul.

9. "I  DO love you. That doesn't mean I'll let you hurt yourself."

10. I am watching. Always. In your good times and bad. I'm here for you. Just ask for help.

Pile 3 - Love

confirmation :

wrist and elbow, jumpscares/ being scared, saturn, planets, fnaf, cycles, broken cycles, love watch, soulmate reuniting, mha (lmao bro idek at this point), drawing, heartache, feeling lonely, barbie, hip dips, trios.

1. Wake up from that dream and make it a reality, you know what you have to do, so go do it.

2. "Beg for my mercy." - This had a VERY sexual undertone... Obviously from a dominant partner or something

3. 'Hello again, my friend! What do you have to tell me now?"

4. You know that thing you asked for? Yeah. It's coming. Keep your eyes pealed (for some I heard it's even coming tomorrow!)

5. Sit in silence, you know what it is. You hear the voices.

6. Pack your bags and go.

7. Grab on, I'll lead you to where you need to be.

8. Don't chase what you're attracting, that will only lead to disaster. (A manifestation you wanted is coming, this is basically saying don't overwork and beat yourself up over it. It's coming and nothing will stop it.)

9. Nature is your friend. Go out and ground yourself. Lay in the grass, smell the rain.

10. If you want to learn, you need the knowledge. Search for what you want to find. You can see it. Ask around. You'll find it. Look, look, look, search, look look, search, find.

I hope this pac resonated for everyone! remember, this will find you when you need it, take what relates, leave what doesnt. remember you are in charge of your future.

i love you. new things are coming.

dont give up.

1111

[lowtaperfeyd]

A Scintilla of Excitement (Chapter 1)

Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Mentat!reader

author's note: This is the first chapter of the mentat series I am writing! I'm so excited for you to see what else I've come up with for this :D (It has now taken the spot for longest thing I've written.) Also go check out my beta-reader @zzleeper!!!!

warnings: house harkonnen, death, mentions of knives,

wc: 1529

You sat on the cold, metal seat of the ornithopter the Harkonnens sent to come and get you from the heighlinder. The scraping of metal startled you when they screeched unexpectedly.

 How tragic, you thought, my final moments will take place in a world with no normal sun. And no normal sons either. 

The entire two day trip on the heighliner was not so bad. You were allowed to wander the empty ship corridors and explore even up to the staff decks. The only part that was scary were the ‘servants’ aboard the ship. Their bald heads, that seemed to engulf any light that shined on them, made you feel uneasy. 

If this is how I feel when I see people like this, I wonder how I’ll feel when I see the baron. 

They always seemed to look at you as if you were an alien. Which I supposed you were. The color to your skin that made you look more alive than them. It probably scared them just as much as it scared you. 

As you continued to sit there in the cockpit, thinking about the heighliner, you fiddled with your fingers and did not sit fully still. 

“We have a nervous one I see!” Shouted a voice from the front of the cockpit where the pilot was. A voice that had a distinct inflection that just screamed Harkonnen, even if the owner of the voice was whispering, 

“Don’t worry the baron doesn’t play with his food.” The pilot laughed out, “But the Na-Baron, oh boy watch yourself around him!” 

As you sat there, mildly disturbed at what you just heard, the pilot went on and on about the things he had seen the Na-Baron do. Almost like he was proud of him,

“There was this one time Na-Baron took a butter knife off the table and stabbed one of his uncle’s advisors because he didn’t agree with what he was saying!” He exclaimed, “One of my friends was there, he barely survived with just one eye left. Told me all about the story.” 

“That's,” you swallowed so as to not hurl at what you heard, “really something…” 

FACT: HARKONNENS AND THE PEOPLE OF THE PLANET, IN GENERAL, ARE USED TO THIS VIOLENCE AND ENJOY IT. 

INFERENCE: DON'T ACT LIKE YOU HATE THOSE THINGS, BE VERY NEUTRAL ON IT.

HYPOTHESIS: IF YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOU FEEL INDIFFERENT ABOUT THESE THINGS MAYBE THEY'LL PUT IN A GOOD RECOMMENDATION TO KAITAIN. 

“It’s incredible, ” The pilot responded, “But the real question is, why does the baron need another Mentat?”

“Another good question is where’s the store that doesn’t sell chatty pilots?”(Y/N) retorted, feeling a little sick and tired from the traveling and what they had just heard.  

The snap seemed to shut him up just long enough before you landed on Giedi Prime. 

“About an hour before we land on the surface, Mentat.” The same pilot muttered in annoyance. 

Actually, 1 hour, 2 minutes, and 23 seconds. But who's counting or keeping track? Definitely not you. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the heighliner ramp went down, it allowed you to fully see the polluted land around Geidi Prime. The black sun changed the red, metallic bracelet you were wearing to a dark and shiny gray, almost sliver, instead of its normal vibrance. You saw the guards and their multitude of weapons and dark armor. 

If they were standing inside, that would be black. You thought, but that isn’t a surprising detail.

“Are you ready to walk down, Mentat?” one of the other workers on the heighliner asked.

“Yes.” You responded courteously, because you had a pretty good idea of what would happen if you disrespected someone with all the guards and important people around. 

The ramp underneath your feet was extremely slippery and steep and forced you to take very slow and precise steps to reach the end. At the rate I am moving I’ll get to the end after the sun goes down. You eventually got to the end of the ramp. But, you only looked at your feet the entire time. Once you looked up you saw a man with a black hood and robes, as well as the lip tattoo you had. 

That’s Piter de Vries. 

You took the final ten steps to walk to him. As you walked you noticed him look you up and down in an arrogant and almost disgusted manner. 

You put your hand out waiting for him to shake your hand. As you did this you said, “I’m (Y/N) (L/N), the new Mentat.”

Instead of him talking your hand he just continued to look up and down. Most likely reviewing the clothes you were wearing and the way you held yourself. Awkwardly, you put your hand down back to your side. 

“Well your arrival in the ornithopter was on time. But, the way you traversed down to the ground was quite untimely.” He remarked, “It must be quite exciting for you to have your first assignment.” He added sarcastically. 

Just a scintilla of excitement, it would be more if I was not here. 

“But, there is no time for talking,” he exhaled, “I can’t have you seeing the baron in such attire.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You looked around at the small bedroom you were given. The room had a hospital type of antiseptic-ness. The walls were bare besides small vertical groves and bolts into the walls holding things together. There was a little gray desk that had shelves that were indented into the walls above it. Beside your desk, was the little chest of belongings that were sent before you had departed from Tleilax. 

I’ll unpack that before I go to bed tonight. 

You turned toward your bed, a relatively small bed with dark covers and pillows. On top of that was a black butcher paper package. On the front of it, in clear print was, TO THE MENTAT, (L/N). In the package was a set of black clothes that looked similar to the ones you see de Vries as well as other people wearing, except without the cloak. On top of the clothes was a note from de Vries himself. 

(L/N), I have taken the liberty of getting rid of all the unnecessary clothes in your trunk and replacing them with more suitable attire for a Mentat. In your closet, you’ll find more of the same kind in the package.

De Vries.

What an asshole.

Quickly, you walked over to your closet and sure enough when you opened it. It was like the same outfit had been cloned over and over again. Black shirt, black pants, and a shiny black belt. Three pairs of black, leather dress shoes were in there too. At the back of the closet, there was a small amount of colder weather wear. A couple of insulated black coats and cloaks. 

Unwillingly, you shed your bright clothes from the academy for a dreary uniform instead. The fabric of the shirt was silking and smooth, but the pants itched badly when it met your skin. 

Once you were done, you exited your room to see two, bald headed, slave girls standing outside of your room. 

“Why are you here?” You questioned. 

“We are here to take you to the baron. Under the order of Mentat De Vries.” The girl on the left said timidly. 

“Alright…” you whispered as you closed the door behind you. 

As you walked through the halls of the Harkonnen’s castle you saw portraits of past rulers who were equally as bald as the next. After four minutes of walking, you ended up in front of a heavily guarded door. From outside the room, you could hear the sounds of yelling, screams, and a thud against the wall.  

Remember, indifference, and then you’ll get your way. 

You nodded toward the guard, signaling to him you were ready to enter the room. Slowly, the guard opened the heavy, metal door with a slight grunt. Walking inside, you saw a long table that had chairs on either side of it and a huge spread of food on top of it. But, there was only one chair at the head. The Baron was sitting there enjoying the elegant feast on the table. 

For the baron… all that food. 

You walked past important officials and advisors to Baron Harkonnen sitting in the chairs. You noticed De Vries sitting right next to the baron and opposite two bald headed men. These men were dressed not like the slave or advisors, but men of higher standing. 

The baron’s nephews Count Glossu and Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Rabban. 

Beside De Vries, there was an empty seat. As you walked to sit in that seat, you noticed the younger man who was sitting opposite of you, the Na-Baron, eyeing you down and biting his lips at the same time. 

He probably picks the member of staff that gets eaten when a couple mess up. Is he imagining me fried or boiled?  

“I appear to be late, I’m sorry about that, my baron.” You apologized as you pulled the chair out and sat.  “Don’t be sorry, Mentat." The Na-Baron jested, "It’s not a good look for you.”

[azullumi]

“heart to heart” ; ayato, cyno, diluc

summary — he could only watch as you die ; alternatively, he’s there to comfort and hold you as you take your last breath.

characters — ayato, cyno, and diluc (w/ gender-neutral reader)

tags — angst but not that heavy but not that light also, grammatical errors bcs i don’t like to proofread, established relationship ; scenario/one-shot

words — 1460

note — this is part 1 out of 2 !! here’s the next part with a different set of characters <33

;; AYATO

“—and i want a garden full of tulips.” you declared, a smile creasing the line of your lips, and he admires you ever so lovingly while listening to each one of your words. “why a garden only? we could have a mansion overlooking the sea.”

a hum escapes your lips as you think of his answer, “but mansions are huge and often lonely. i want a home, a warm one, big enough for us and our children and i want a garden where they can play.”

he smiles, gently, eyes gazing at you as if you’re the most lovely thing he has seen and you really are—the moonlight dances and rests on your skin, emitting a soft glow on your features, and you look much more breathtaking than ever. “we can be the ones to plant the tulips,” he elicits a light laughter from you, “mhm, we definitely should.”

it is late now, the both of you are a little bit tired resting underneath the sky peckered with stars. and right now, in the past, and future, he loves you, he loves you, he loves you, he—

“i love you, ayato.”

his breath hitched, like his heart has crumbled at his hands, you were there bloody and withering away on his hands, like a flower that had cut off its stem. and just like how quickly the world can be created out of three words, it shattered right at his hold.

“please don’t say that.” his voice breaks, faltering, compared to the tight hold he has on you as he desperately wishes that this warm embrace can help you even for a little bit. “why?”

not like this, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you aren’t supposed to die like this, you weren’t supposed to leave him, not right now, not ever—not when he still hasn't accomplished all of the things you two have talked about underneath the night sky.

“you’re saying that as if you’re going to die.”

you chuckle, “because i am.”

“this isn’t the time to be joking around.” but he knows the reality of it, he just refuses to accept it. “what about our plans?” he knows it from the way you struggle to find the words in your tongue, from the way you smile at him as you listen to his voice coming apart, “what about the tulips? the garden? you promised me,” from the way your breathing slows down and eventually—

“i… i’m sorry.”

—it stills.

a brief moment of silence and a broken sob came, “you promised me…” that you’ll be there, that you’ll plant the tulips with him. “i love you,” that’s why he mourns for you and the promises you made.

;; CYNO

“i think that’s all of them?” you walk over to his side, feeling the soreness of your body hit you. bodies were found laying all around you but they weren’t dead, just knocked out as if they still have to be taken in for questioning.

“yes but nevermind that, are you hurt?” he asks him in a flat tone, despite the nature of his words, worry didn’t lace his tone. “it’s not that bad,” you say but half of your body feels numb, your side is damp, aching as it continues to bleed—it’s just a small wound.

you weren’t going to die even if your line of work requires you to be put in danger at times, you will never die for anyone, you’ve sworn that to yourself. it may be a selfish idea but you had promised yourself that you will always choose yourself because no one can be more than you. your existence is way too important for someone else’s to have it for their own—nobody can and nobody will.

but not the general mahamatra, not your love, not him as you willingly took a hit for him which left you at this state but he doesn’t know the severity of your situation as you chose to hide it. you didn’t want the man to worry—you were selfish not until it came to him.

your vision blurs and you feel your head spin.

“cyno—“

it happened so fast. you, suddenly collapsing to the ground and him, calling out to you as he towards your direction to catch your collapsing figure before it hits the cold floor.

he cursed underneath his breath, panic washing over him as he noticed your wounded side, covered with blood and it was then that the realization had dawned upon him—you were severely hurt since earlier and he just wants to berate himself, not you, for being so careless and ignorant.

“no matter what happens, don’t you ever dare risk your life for me.”

he trembles, recalling those words in his mind. it was you who had told him that and yet, you’re here, “keep your eyes open.” he pleads in a broken tone.

“i’m sorry…” you try to fight off the growing feeling of your eyes becoming heavy and your slow breathing, fighting off the ominous being cloaked in black standing at your foot. you weren’t going to die, you promised yourself.

you were getting weaker so is the sound of your voice, your vision seems to blur and darken in each moment that passes by and oh god, how much you fear not being able to see his face, not being able to see him completely in your last moments with him—thoughts came drifting in and out of you, asking what kind of expression does he have at this moment. does he still have that same calm expression you adored?

you coughed once more, fading eyes looking for the warmth of his own, “i love you, cyno, from the first time we met until forever. remember— remember that.”

“s-stay with me.” a command, but his breaking voice fails the firmness of his words, his tone could only be so soft as he spoke. “don’t you—don’t you dare close your eyes, that is an order.”

but the light of your eyes had already disappeared and at that moment, not only you had died but also him as you breathed out your last—even in death you still held his heart.

;; DILUC

“a hug, please?” you beckon with your arms wide open for him as you sit on the edge of the bed, your bed and his. the red-headed man only smiled before

“why do you need a hug all of a sudden?”

you hum, “nothing, i just want to feel you.” and in which, he huffs out a chuckle, “you can feel me as much as you want, my love.”

he could spend his life just with you in his embrace alone. oh, how he would choose to be alive by your side over anything, over everything. nothing could beat the solace of your hands on his own, of your lips in a kiss, of your skin at his touch.

but fate could be so cruel.

“do you remember the first time we met? i was also in your arms, you caught me when i was about to fall.” your tone was soft, fragile, as if anytime soon you’ll break and give in. “please—stop talking, save your strength, please. my love, you cannot leave me, you are not going to leave me.”

he spent so much of him guarding and driving danger away from the beloved city of freedom only for him

to not be able to protect you against those, it was injudicious on his part for not thinking that those very perditions that he fights were lurking at the comfort of his home. cruel, cruel, cruel, how could fate be so cruel? how could people be so selfish?

a dry chuckle and a weak response, “we know much better than that, ‘luc.”

how could you still look breathtaking even at the hands of death? how is it that you still manage to enamour him with blood staining your lips?

“i know that i’ve always belonged in your arms, even in death.”

he’s as warm as you remember him and you are cold despite his embrace, you remember—or perhaps, know—the expression on his face as you took your last, remembered the way he feels on you, remembered the way he speaks to you so lovingly, remembered everything about him and burned it your memory in hopes that you’ll know him in your next life, if there is one.

“i love you.” he mumbles as he brings you closer to him, tears that he had been holding back had now came pouring out of his eyes, the words he had told you were laced with warmth and affection—with hurt and poison.

but you are still cold and now, lifeless as you lay in his arms. beautiful, captivating, darling—dead.

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

[emmebearpaw]

Ok. I’m just going to say this is going to be a very long ramble about incredibly minor Genshin Impact lore and design choices that fill my brain. It’s loosely inspired by this prompt on the Genshin 2024 prompt meme, but this is not written in fanfic style despite being mostly headcanon. And Amber not being in it. And also a different belief in the world building of them than the prompt suggests. It’s a lovely prompt though if I ever think of how to make what I’m about to write an actual story I might claim it.

p.s: most of this ramble is just my genshin worldbuilding as related to wind gliders. Thus mostly textiles.

I’m obsessed with Wind Gliders. I fully understand they run on magic, and that attempting to design ones that don’t are nigh impossible (as explained in Sumeru wing’s). However I’m not interested in the magic that fuels them. That’s the hand waving. Necessary, yes, but boring. I’m interested in how they are made in universe.

Now. This is not something the game is interested in. So I’ve made. A lot of stuff up. I’m not surprised Genshin doesn’t really care, it’s an open world game. The basis of fabric production is something the game only lightly touches upon with the assertion that Silk Flowers can make fabric. It’s just called “fabric” in game but I am going to presume, based off its description of being “silky smooth”. That it’s silk. Which would make sense for the region of Liyue and silk has had use in parachute material, so I’m not going to rule out silk as a material wind gliders are made from.

However silk flowers only grow in Liyue, and surely Liyue is not the only country in Teyvat that can make fabric. So it’s time for my work of fiction number one. What kind of fibers are found in Teyvat? Despite everyone in this game looking like they have invented polyester, with its superior dying and fabric printing range, I don’t think Teyvat is a world that process petroleum. Only Fontaine has a level of technological development I would think would be conducive to oil and they have their own renewable energy source in indemnitium. So we will be sticking with natural fibers.

The major varieties of natural fibers that I think are most conducive to wind glider construction include: cotton, hemp (makes canvas and rope), silk, and flax (makes linen).

The locations in game these would be cultivated based on their real world cultivation histories (source is Wikipedia):

Cotton: warmer regions. Primarily Sumeru and Natlan (cotton is an old world and new world crop! We domesticated it more than once), maybe some around the chasm in Liyue but that region does not seem to be doing a lot of agriculture.

Hemp: Hemp is an old world crop. It was imported into South America but only grew well in Chile. Cultivation is a little hard because of the fact that Hemp is the same plant as Marijuana and is thus just sometimes illegal. Probably grows pretty much everywhere but is not commonly found in Natlan. Doesn’t seem like a lot of middle eastern countries grow a lot of it either, so probably not a lot in Sumeru?

Silk: Historically? Liyue and Inazuma. Sumeru has gotten into it more recently. This one is harder to think about though as a plant would have much different growing condition than insects. Plus Inazuma is a more similar climate to Sumeru jungle than Liyue. Honestly it’s 1 am I’m tired I’m not thinking about soil water logging right now.

Flax: Most prominently grown in Mondstadt and Fontaine (once again I’m not thinking about the water table).

Ok. So with the in game lore tying wind glider creation to Mondstadt the sail material being a linen originally would probably be the most likely. Sumeru’s wind gliders also specifically mention a history of attempting to create realistic wind gliders. Those would probably be cotton or maybe silk.

TLDR: different fabrics might be used.

——————

Ok but what about construction? Well to begin with, windgliders seem to have a construction style more similar to a parachute than a plane. This is evidence by the deploy animation! Go jump off a cliff in game and pop out those wings and you’ll see them bend upwards from the middle and then level out. It can also be seen by their shape! The wing tips point downwards a little bit. An internal frame would likely lead to less bowing of the wings, and is thus unlikely as part of the structure.

This, however brings us to the point that I think the wind glider frankly has more parts than they show us in game. If the wings have no internal frame, they would need strings to keep the wings level and to steer them, like a paraglider. Additionally, the game literally doesn’t depict a way that the glider connects to your character’s body. I personally think it is something similar to a parachute harness and that wind gliding posture leans far more forward. Almost horizontal instead of the near vertical posture depicted in game. Mostly because I don’t know how you could rig a vertical posture in and strap it to yourself without adding lots of extra weight.

Now onto production of wind gliders!

The basic wind glider Amber hands us at the beginning is basically the only style of wind glider that is produced ready for purchase. It’s basically only available in Mondstadt, as Mondstadt is the only region with a high enough rate of adventurers, a culture that promotes gliding and an environment conducive to gliding that is safe enough for most people to consider it a reasonable activity. Gliding is a sport in Mondstadt! Especially around the coastal cliffs, where updrafts can keep you airborne for long periods of time! In Inazuma it’s a thing insane people do (I can not imagine that a place with frequent unexpected rain storms and lightning as I imagine in Inazuma would think about a sport where if it rains people might die because the thing keeping them airborne absorbed water and got heavy). When not in the air they hang down. They don’t just disappear like in game, you actually have to pause and take them off and fold/roll them back up when you are done using them. The traveler just wears a backpack with big wings draping off their back like a cape a lot of the time.

The wings of first flight are pretailored, and can be purchased directly through the knights. It is up to the purchaser to adjust the attachment straps and steering strings as necessary to ensure they are taught and secure no matter a person’s proportions. They come in the brown and black we see in game, though color may vary slightly depending on when in the year the wings were produced as a different dye may be substituted. The color was chosen to be very visible against many surfaces, including the sky, the stone color of the area and even the soils most prevalent in Mondstadt! That way if an adventurer crashes and needs rescue they are the most visible.

There is a small craft factory that produces them by hand. They are not made directly by the Knights but are commissioned by them for sale to adventurers and sport gliders. In terms of production, there are two ways I figure gliders are made.

More reasonable due to their high variation in coloring, each “feather” is a separate piece of fabric sewn together (typically by hand, i don’t know how many places in Teyvat have sewing machines. Fontaine probably does). This style would probably have an inside fabric layer of a less breathable fabric, which is one solid piece and is the thing actually doing the work, and then a fashion layer surrounding it. More pieces of fabric sewn together introduces more possibility for air to pass through and cause a lack of drag. I figure most wings in the game are this style.

There is no inside + fashion layer. The glider is one layer that is 1-2 solid piece(s), decorated with decorative stitches and details along the center of the wings where drag production is less important. The Wings of first flight are the most likely to be this style.

“But what about other wing styles?” I hear you ask. Simple. I think those are all artisan one off productions made for the traveler. The Steambird commissioned a wind glider for you from a local artisan to repay you for helping out the city so much. They got you a wind glider because you, the traveler, are known for using a wind glider. This was less notable in Mondstadt but is much more notable as your travels continue. Yes I know the Fontaine wings description indicate you don’t know the source of them. I think the in game description of the wings is written in universe. The artisan who created your wings know things about the world and tell you things about the world in their backstory for the wings. This isn’t a great answer but this is just how I interpret it. The non reputation wind gliders I don’t know how to justify how you receive them in game. I also don’t know how the Frostbearing Tree gives you a craft project.

Anyways all this to say I still don’t actually have an answer for the prompt.

[sweetheartmotives]

I saw your request to the void for story requests! Here I am to oblige, if you'd so please.

Would you be down to write about a Yandere!Prince, who falls in love with a low tier noble. Just the idea of going to a party to for our coming of age, expecting nothing given how low your family is in status, only for the crown prince to fall in love at first sight!

Or something like that xD. Hope you are taking care!

-🌟

𓆩:*¨༺✧♛ Yandere prince ♛ ✧༻¨*:𓆪

Desc and possible Cw: Yandere themes, reader is tired of everything and everyone, reader is a lil hater, the prince is an egotistical jerk [what did we expect], and probably some wrong info about the medieval times. [Please forgive me if anything is wrong, I'm a bit misinformed.]

Let me know if I missed any!

As a low-tier noble, you never expected to be invited to a royal party, let alone the coming-of-age celebration hosted by the crown prince himself. Your mother had insisted on dressing you in some of your grandparents' old clothes, which may not be as elegant as what the other guests will be wearing, but they'll do. Nervous knots twist in your stomach as you prepare to attend the kingdom's most exclusive event. Would the prince even notice you? Let's be serious: even though your mother had you bathe three times in a row, sewed your grandparent's old clothing to make it look presentable, and did your hair in a nice way, you still wouldn't be noticed. After finishing getting ready, your mother added some finishing touches and sent you off to the party.

As you walk toward the kingdom, the cold winter air blows past you, causing you to shiver and pout. This is total bullshit. Why did the prince decide to hold his coming-of-age party in the winter? This is bullshit! BULLSHITTT!!!! As you internally cuss out the prince and his parents, you enter through the kingdom's gates and into the castle, where beautiful women and handsome men make their way to the ballroom to meet the prince. You scoff quietly and follow behind the crowd, heading toward the ballroom.

As soon as you and the crowd enter, the sparkling chandelier springs to life and lights the entire room with a powerful glow that nearly blinds you. And now that I mention blinding, the light shining off the gold vases and wall decor is so darn bright it's burning your eyes! Damn this place! You squint and focus your eyes on the dramatic prince on his father's throne, cross-legged. What a prick! First, he hosts this stupid party in the middle of winter, aka the time when the weather is the coldest it's ever been, then he turns on that bright ass chandelier that nearly blinded you all, and now he has the audacity to act like he's above all of you? I mean, he is royalty, so technically, yeah, he is, but still! What a jackass! You scowl and stand behind the beautiful women in big, puffy dresses. They'll cover you nicely with those giant dresses; btw, they do look super nice, so you might compliment them later.

The prince clears his throat and stands up, placing a hand on his chest while the other sneaks its way behind his back. “I welcome you all to my ceremony; today we are celebrating me, of course, and since I'm the most important individual here, it's quite obvious I'm the one who is getting celebrated.” The prince said it very smugly as he smirked and waved his hand around as he spoke. “I invited some men here since I don't want any of you ladies to go home tonight feeling disappointed, so have fun mingling about! Now, we will begin dancing in 3, 2, and 1.” The prince steps down from the throne and snaps for a butler to turn on the music. Just as soon as he [the prince] snaps, a butler turns on music. The crowd claps and begins to spread around the ballroom. Some women try to ask politely for a dance with the prince, and some men ask a few women around to dance. This is truly ridiculous. To you, of course.

You sigh and make your way through the crowded room, aiming for a nearby balcony to hide away until the party is over. Everyone knows that the prince is an egotistical jerk, but no one has ever said anything because of the fear of getting executed or something like that. You don't know, and you don't care; you just want to leave. I mean, you could leave, but you'd be reprimanded by your mother for leaving the prince's ‘ceremony’, if you could call it that. It's more of a show-off party for the sake of boosting the prince's ego. It's bad enough that he's a jerk, but he's a jerk with an ego as big as a windmill.

Unknown to you, the prince has already got his eyes set on someone. You!

After a while of leaning on the balcony and staring off into the nearby scenery, someone comes beside you. You feel an arm against yours, and you turn your head to look at the person—it's the prince! You give him a mean, judgy look in hopes he'll find you unappealing and go away. He only smirks in return and opens his mouth to speak. “What are you doing out here? You should be out there celebrating me with the others.” He says smoothly, his tone of smugness never leaving for a second. You roll your eyes and look at him. “I'm out here because I want to be out here," you say plainly, still praying, no, hoping that your attitude will drive him away. The prince chuckles and rests his elbow on the balcony's railing, placing his head in his hand. “Seriously? Why? Don't you like celebrating the one who's your soon to be king?” He replies, smiling smugly as he chuckles even more. You scoff and look away from him, deciding to ignore him.

The prince, after 30 seconds of silence, smiles even more and snaps his fingers in your face. “Hey, you shouldn't ignore your higher-ups. It's impolite.” He smirks and giggles. You give him a confused look as you judgely look him up and down. The prince laughs and throws his head back. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” He says in between laughs, clearly finding your judgmental look funny. “Because you're annoying.” You reply harshly, not holding back your annoyance, even though the person you're talking to is royalty. He laughs even harder and smacks the balcony rail in amusement. “Wow, so mean~ you're even more than looks! I think I love you already.” He smirks and giggles even more. You deadpan. Excuse him? Did he just say he loved you? You blink in surprise for a few seconds before scowling and giving him another judgmental look. He laughs even harder at this and takes a few minutes to catch his breath from all the one-sided laughter. After that, the entire night [the rest of the party] is just you and him, him laughing his ass off while you scowl and keep giving him those amusing judgmental looks.

From the looks of it, I guess he's already decided who his future spouse is.

───────────────────────────────

Welcome to the end credits! This is where I will give information on my new or previous yans!

The prince is bisexual! He just needed an excuse to invite men so he could take a look at his options in both categories.

Hello 🌟 anon! Thanks for requesting, this was super fun to write, and it was probably the fastest fic I've ever written, haha! I hope you and everyone else are doing well! I hope you enjoyed reading as I enjoyed writing! (^ω^)

───────────────────────────────

[mlmarint]

so here’s my thoughts about the “daddy issues” thing with the whole anti tommy shit

you guys are such fucking hypocrites

i would be totally on board with someone bringing that it’s not okay to sexualize someone’s trauma if that was the case. but guess whaaaaaaat???? THATS NOT THE CASE. and it’s not “terrible dialogue” either, there’s so many scenes with terrible dialogue in this show, but some of you should really stop and ask yourselfs WHY you didn’t like this one.

if eddie was the one to make a comment like that some of you’d be OVER THE MOON. i’ve NEVER seen ANYONE in this fandom talk about how a LOT of the buddie explicit fanfics have a daddy kink on it. and before any more comments, i REALLY HATE buddie fics with daddy kink because it always reminds me of christopher and do NOT want to think about christopher in that moment.

“that’s not the problem. the problem is that once again buck it’s with someone who doesn’t care about his trauma” oh grow the fuck up.

tommy LITERALLY decided to not date buck because he thought buck wasn’t ready for it, he gave buck his space, he at first didn’t want to go to maddie and chimney wedding with buck because he thought buck was acting on impulse and wanted him to take his time to be okay with who he is, and after he was sure he tried his best to be on time to his date.

and also!!!! buck is a little “freak” in bed guys, he was a literal sex addict in season 1. every now and then the show reminds us this (like the ring cutter scene), also this is the second buck’s relationship with someone who’s like older than him. i wouldn’t be surprised if buck has a canon daddy kink because GUESS WHAAAAAT some people who have daddy issues??? THEY HAVE DADDY KINKS!!!!!

but you guys wanna know what i truly think?

i think that some of you (these tommy antis) are only here for buddie. you’re not here for the show, you’re here for buck and eddie. you’re not here for all these amazing characters!!! you’re not here for the fact that buck being a bisexual man discovering that side of him in his 30s its one of the most important things that happened in this show when we’re talking about lgbt+ characters and the importance of having something like that to be on media.

you’re not here for bi buck, you’re only here if this means that eddie will be with him. you’ll won’t be here if they decide to give a eddie queer discover story non related to buck on season 8 (and i truly think we’re going that way).

you only liked buck and tommy when you could sexualize two man kissing.

if you want to talk about something that is not okay that tommy did why don’t you rewatch the older episodes he’s in? he wasn’t a nice person back then and honestly i would like for them to bring that up!!! for them to show how a person can change and grow out of their prejudice and realize that they don’t need to be an ass and be okay with who they truly are. in fact why don’t we talk about how they hinted the fact that tommy didn’t like who he was when he was working with gerard? that he doesn’t like gerard and that he was a toxic person and that tommy grow up with a racist, homophobic and sexist dad???? that’s why he wasn’t a nice person back than but he’s different now and he’s a proud gay man and that once again that’s a nice thing to have on media because it shows how it’s NEVER too late to come in terms with who you are and change the way your are for better????

tommy isn’t perfect (and no one that he hurt before seems to actually care about it cause he did truly changed), but that doesn’t mean you need to cancel the guy FOR ONE SINGLE comment!!!! part of the 911 team made fun of buck for being sexually assaulted by his therapist but no one canceled them for it, did they?

honestly i am so fucking tired with fandoms in general.

at this point i hope we don’t get buddie being canon FOR A LONG TIME cause i want you guys to suffer with tommy and buck being in a happy relationship.

just remember: eddies it’s not canonical queer yet, there’s hints of it and they probably are going on that road with the whole thing they’re saying on interviews, BUT buck IS BISEXUAL and HE IS dating TOMMY you like it or not and it’s by far the most healthy relationship he EVER had in this show, can’t you be happy for him????

you can be a buddie shipper and still enjoy bucktommy because what we should truly want more than anything it’s buck and eddie to be happy with who they are.

and I SAY ALL THIS BEING A BUDDIE SHIPPER FOR YEARS

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 5

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

..........................................................

Ananya reached her apartment around 1 am. Roma was not back yet, thankfully. She wasn’t ready for her interrogation. 

The night still felt surreal. She leaned against the dining table and held on to the edges to steady the head-rush she was feeling. If the Tupperware of leftover pasta was not in front of her (he had insisted she took some coz she had barely eaten), the girl would have seriously wondered if she had hallucinated the whole thing. But no, this really happened. And she didn’t bail on whatever this was, as she had initially planned to do.

The wine was still buzzing in her system, helping calm her nerves. Before turning in for the night, she sent him a quick message.

Ananya: Reached 15 mins ago. Thanks for the drop. 

She wasn’t expecting a response. He must have a ton of people to talk to / respond to after the match earlier that night. So she started an episode of Friends, hoping to fall asleep in a bit.

5 mins later, her phone flashed.

Jude: Cool. Tired?

Ananya: Oh yeah, in bed already. You?

She rubbed her temple to soothe her straining eyes. It had been some day. 

Jude: Wanted to crash but some of the guys still partying at Vini’s house. Cama kept sending me videos, gosh he’s so wasted right now. Came there for a bit.

She smiled at her phone. The team deserved every bit of celebration tonight.

Ananya: That’s nice. Have fun :)

Jude: Yup. What plans for tmrw? Boss cancelled our training so I am free till afternoon. 

Ananya: Have to work a few hours in the morning, which might extend, not sure.

Jude: On Sunday morning?

Ananya: Welcome to investment banking.

Jude: Keep forgetting how smart you are.

Ananya: Not that smart, but ok :)

Jude: So, I have an ad shoot tomorrow evening, then flying out for an away game on Monday after training. Don’t know when I will see you next.

A wave of sadness hit her, surprising her with its force. Her brain admonished her. She had only just met him and she needed to get a grip. 

Ananya: It’s fine. Will figure something when you are back.

Jude: Hmm. Haven’t even kissed you yet and you are already messing with my head.

The sadness was replaced by a warm shiver as she stared at the screen and thought of a response. But couldn’t come up with any.

Jude: Did you just fall asleep on me? 

Ananya: Stop being dramatic. I am right here.

Jude: Naa, wish you were HERE. Why’d you leave?

Ananya: Jude, you know why.

There was something about the way she said his name that made him want to hear it on loop, in various settings. God damnit this girl.

Jude: Yeah yeah. You thought we won’t be able to keep it in our pants.

She choked on water, and some spilled out on her blanket. 

Ananya: How drunk are you?

Jude: Plentyyyy. Don even know what’s been shoved down my throat anymore. 

Ananya: Figures :)

Jude: One last thing. Veryyyy important, like proper critical. 

Ananya: Yes?

Jude: Need to see you in my jersey. 

She smiled to herself before typing.

Ananya: Maybe win the Madrid derby next, score the winner, and then we’ll talk?

Jude: Tough, tough crowd. No mercy. No rest for the wicked. No respect for the Classico winner. 

He was even more dramatic when he was drunk. She could almost hear the whining from his texts.

Ananya: Good night, Jude :)

Jude: Good night, dove. Try not to dream of me too much. Mwahhh!

She smiled at the screen and ended up kissing it, finally drifting off to sleep.

Next morning, she woke up to a message from him. Sent at 5 am. A drunk out of their wits pic with Jude, Cama and Fede. Along with a caption.

Jude: Your preciousss Cama.

Then, another message from a few seconds later.

Jude: Don’t stare too long. 

She responded with a heart emoji to the picture and got started with her day.

Next few hours were hectic. She got into her work mode, shutting out all the madness that had transpired the day before.

Still, in between, her eyes drifted to her phone, to see if there were any new messages. Poor guy must have been sleeping. Or busy. He did say he had an ad shoot in the second half.

She somehow pulled through the day, and it was almost 5 pm when she finally finished work. Roma was also on the same project. The girls sighed about it being Monday morning just  next day, and decided to make the most of their remaining evening. 

They ended up at the same cafe where Ananya had met him the other day. Was it just two days ago? God - so much had happened since then.

She ordered her favourite churros and took a picture. Then wondered whether she should send it to him. Would it look desperate? Like she was just seeking his attention? She couldn’t have that.

But it was a harmless pic. He would get the reference. Deciding to not overthink it, she ended up sending the photo with a caption.

Ananya: Back to ground zero!

No blue tick for over 15 mins.

Roma rolled her eyes at her then.

‘Can you stop the sappiness? Look around - lovely day. Lovely food. Let’s get some Sangria and let the world go to hell.’

Her roommate was the best. The two perfectly complimented each other. Plus, her American upbringing lent her this carefree attitude which Ananya really wished to imbibe.

‘Well, how can anyone say no to Sangria?’

The girls ordered a pitcher and ended up staying there for a few hours. Gossiping about their colleagues. Talking about life. Planning a vacation - Sevilla and Granada were top of their list. They looked up their calendars and found a long weekend that seemed ideal. The prospect itself making them cheerful.

By the time they got back, it was already 9 pm. There was still nothing from him. Not even a blue tick. She knew he was working. Yet, an ugly thought still creeped in - was this just a one night distraction? Did he already…lose interest after she dumped her constraints on him? All her doubts from last night came rushing back, leaving an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

She got into bed and tried watching a movie. Anything random to keep her thoughts at bay. While scrolling through her insta.

And there it was - a post from him a few mins ago about the ad campaign for a cologne. With a gorgeous, stunning model at his arm. Ofcourse. 

The first photo looked like a part of the creative. The two were dressed immaculately in all black, she was leaning against his chest while his hand rested just above her butt. Seductiveness oozing from every inch of that frame.

The next was a BTS video - of him just being goofy on set while getting ready or trying to take a shot & not getting it right. The whole crew just getting charmed by his antics and boyish smiles. The model, in particular being extra supportive, extra attentive, giggling a bit too hard while holding onto his arm. Perfect hair, perfect figure and perfect skin. Ofcourse. 

And just then, her insta reels recommendation showed Jude hugging multiple female fans who had lined up outside his shoot. They screamed his name, begging for hugs and he obliged. Warm, cozy, Jude hugs. Granted he only wrapped one arm around their shoulder and looked embarrassed when some of them reached up to kiss his cheek or pulled him closer, but still. This wasn’t something she needed to see right now. 

Was this going to be her life from now on? Curled into bed, following his activities on social media, feeling inadequate. She didn’t deserve it. No girl deserved this. 

She threw her phone aside and forced herself to focus on the movie. It was already 9:45, it would be best to get some sleep soon. Next week was going to be super hectic at work. Yes, work is what she needed do focus on. That’s why she was halfway across the world in this city. That was her goal in life right now. Not some ridiculously handsome random boy who made women go weak in their knees everywhere he went. 

Around 10 pm, her phone buzzed. She had tucked herself into bed by then and almost decided to not look at it. But curiosity got the better of her.

Jude: Heyyy. Sorry my phone was not with me. Just getting back from a shoot.

She was equal parts relieved and irritated with that message. Ananya took a deep breath to calm herself down, and thought of a neutral response.

Ananya: Oh yeah, you had mentioned. How did it go?

Jude: Not too bad. Somehow got an ok on my take, that’s all I care about honestly. This acting gig ain’t no joke. 

Ananya: Hmm.

Jude: Churros looked lovely. Hope you had fun.

Ananya: Yep, and yep.

Jude: Tired? Am I keeping you from something?

Ananya: Nope. 

Jude: Why so wry then? What’s happened?

Oh, how she wanted to scream. What’s happened was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. What she swore she won’t put herself through with another boy. And this was amplified 1000 times here coz of who Jude was. 

She started typing, then deleted, then typed again, unable to find the right words. This went on for two mins. 

Jude: Can I call?

She sighed, exasperated. Her voice will immediately give away her irritated and confused state. But he knew something was up and typing like this was getting exhausting.

Ananya: Sure.

He called the next second. She braced herself, then answered. 

‘Hey.’

She couldn’t have possibly made it sound drier even if she tried. 

‘Hey. Wassup?’

‘Nothing, was just about to crash. Already in bed.’

‘Hmm, won’t keep you for long. Just wanna hear your voice.’

Damn him. To the moon and back. Damn his sweet agonising voice. 

‘Why? Looks like you had enough company today.’

The words just tumbled out of her before she could check herself. Great going girl, way to make yourself look pathetic. 

He paused for a few seconds.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing, forget it.’

‘Tell me you’ll sort this on your own and wake up all fine tomorrow morning, I’ll leave it be.’

She knew that wasn’t gonna happen. There was also no way for this to ever work if she wasn’t honest with him. Especially given his situation, things will just compound and then break very quickly. If they ever even get started, that is. 

‘The photos bothered me a bit.’

She could sigh him breathe audibly at the other end - probably getting irritated at her insecurity. Or her immaturity. Maybe both. 

‘What about them bothered you?’

Damn him for always making her spell everything out loud.

‘Just…her? Everything about that stunning woman. Looks like she fancied you.’

She could tell the wheels were churning in his mind at the other end.

‘I see. And you think I should be with someone like her. In fact, maybe I am going to her hotel room right now & talking to you on the way.’

Her silence was deafening. Jude gripped the edge of his seat to not curse out loud. 

‘Ananya - didn’t we speak about this last night? Are we gonna go back full circle here?’

‘I am sorry. It’s just - I don’t know how I could ever compete with someone like that. Also, I don’t want to. I am a normal, regular girl Jude. Don’t need that in my life right now, or ever.’

‘YOU DON’T HAVE TO COMPETE. Can’t you see you have already won?’

Warmth and fuzziness ran over her, making her feel gooey inside. She had to clutch her tummy to arrest that feeling. To arrest the freefall. 

‘You don’t know what’s gonna happen.’

Jude fought the urge to throw his phone against the opposite seat. 

‘DO YOU? Does anyone? Girl, why don’t you believe me when I say I want you? Should I list down how much I have fantasised about you the last two days? How much I wanna…..’

‘Stop, please stop Jude. Please.’

Both were breathing heavily at this point, for different reasons.

‘Can I ask you for one thing, Ananya? Try trusting me till I give you an explicit reason not to. I am not such a dog, y’know. Yes, I have seen multiple girls together before but all parties KNEW it was casual. No commitments. This is not that. This is not a situationship. I would have told you to your face if that’s what I was looking for.’

She clutched her phone close to her chest. Him being who he was had made it all so hard. But he was right - he hadn’t done anything. Well, not yet. 

‘I don’t know what to say, Jude. Like I know a lot of this is in my head but I don’t know how to make it go away.’

Heavy breathing continued at both ends. He broke the silence after a few moments. 

‘How about this? Ask me what you really wanna ask me. All your unsaid questions, assumptions, perceptions about me that make you want to distance yourself. I won’t lie, promise. Be the smart girl I know you are and break it down like you will a work project.’

That was actually a fair suggestion. She could see what he was trying to do by appealing to her logical side. Not just a pretty face. Clearly not. 

She chucked her inhibitions on how crude her questions might sound. He was right - without this they would keep coming back full circle.

‘So…when you said you were dating multiple women together..’

‘Seeing…not dating.’

He clarified before she could go on. It was an important distinction for him. 

‘Yes, seeing them together, how long back was that?’

‘In Dortmund.’

‘Hmmm.’

She didn’t know how to feel about that. So she skipped to the next obvious question.

‘And…what about Madrid?’

‘Seen a couple, texted a couple, but not at the same time.’

‘Ok. When was the last time you were…you know..’

He understood the question before her finishing it.

‘Two weeks ago.’

‘I see.’

That wasn’t too long back. Was he still in touch with her? Did they meet up at his house? Something about the last thought made her feel icky.

‘And, these rendezvous, usually happen where?’

He chuckled at her choice of words. She really was something. 

‘At a hotel close by. It’s a private, exclusive property.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He could tell there was a tinge of sarcasm in that last word but chose to let it go.

‘Are you in touch with her….the last one?’

‘Not since a week.’

She was feeling particularly bold at this point. Jude could anticipate her next question from a mile away.

‘Well, are you planning to?’

‘Nope. Not her. Not anyone else. I will only be with you and you will only be with me. Exclusively.’

He declared without hesitation. Her mouth open and closed at his last line, unsure of how to react. He waited patiently. 

‘And what about the hordes of women who throw themselves at you daily? Who would do absolutely anything you want, and more?’

‘There is no easy fix here. You will have to find a way to believe that I will not stray, I will not indulge them.’

He could have backed his statement with evidence. Coz the model from today did slip him her number & he had politely wriggled out of that. But even he had the good sense to know this wasn't the time to bring that up.

She appreciated how he didn’t try to feed her any rosy crap, really following through on answering honestly. His tone & speed of response gave her enough assurance that he wasn’t being evasive. 

She had run out of questions and said as much to him. Weirdly, in some inexplicable way, this was healing.

‘My turn then.’

This caught her off guard. But it was a fair ask, after the grilling she just put him through. 

‘Sure, go ahead.’

‘Open your door in precisely 1 minute. I will ask in person.’

The phone dropped from her hand as she sat up, landing somewhere under the blanket. She reached for it blindly with one hand while switching on the lights with the other. 

‘What do you mean in person? You don’t know where I live.’

‘Agnes knows.’

Ofcourse. His driver had dropped her home last night. Great, his presence was making her dumb now.

‘But….what if someone sees you? Roma is home too. The house is so messy. And I am, I am..One second, your shoot was on the other side of town and this is not in your way. What would you be doing here? Are you messing with me?’

She rambled faster that the speed of light. He ignored every other comment but picked up on the last one.

‘How did you know where my shoot was?’

Damn. Bloody rotten hell. She groaned audibly on the phone and he laughed out loud.

‘Dove is a stalkerrrrrr!’

He said teasingly, in a sing-song voice. 

Before she could respond, she heard a car honk under her window. No, this couldn’t be. He wouldn’t. Would he?

‘Buzz me in and open the door. I am getting out of the car now.’

Ananya rushed frantically to the door, buzzing the building gate open. The idea of someone seeing him here filling her with nerves. Thankfully, she was on the first floor, half a staircase away from the building door.

Three seconds later, she saw him enter the building. Eight seconds later, she was grabbing his arm and pulling him into the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind them.

What was he thinking? What if someone had seen him outside? The media crap storm would have been unstoppable. How irresponsible was this? The gall of him to show up unannounced like that, anytime he wanted. Oh, she was mad. Raving mad.

Before she could turn around and give him a piece of her mind, strong arms wrapped around her from behind. 

‘Sorry. Just wanted to see you once before I fly out tomorrow. Didn’t want to leave on this note.’

And just like that, he knocked the fight out of her chest. With two simple lines. Frankly she was a goner at sorry itself. The boy carried a magic wand of persuasion with him. 

Her shoulders, which were tensed in anger, dropped as she leaned back into his chest. He kissed the back of her head, conveying his gratitude.

She could stay like this forever. In his warm, comforting hold. His scent, familiar by now (when did that happen?), seeping into her skin, taking over her senses. His big, calloused hands enveloping her smaller ones. Involuntarily, she sighed.

‘Thank you for being honest with me earlier. I feel better now.’

‘I am glad. My turn? Only have one question.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He turned her around in his arms and tilted her chin up to look straight into her eyes.

‘Would you let me kiss you right now?’

Time stood still. She was very numb yet very aware in that moment. The dim lighting in the living room from the night lamp, the faint noise from the street, the rhythmic tapping of feet coming from Roma’s locked room who was blaring music on her headphones. All registering in some peripheral part of her brain.

But what she was hypnotised by was his face, and his eyes, gazing intently at her, drawing her in. How was it ever possible to say no to that face? To those big brown eyes which looked even deeper, softer, more vulnerable than ever before?

She didn’t realise when he took off his jacket, nudged her towards the dining table a short distance away, put his hands on the sides of her waist, lifted her slightly to place her on the table. But when her legs were being parted gently so he could stand in front of her, their torsos touching, her trance broke. The heat radiating from his body was palpable. 

Jude’s face was inches away, almost eye level.  A pleasing, handsome, perfectly symmetrical face. The dim lighting creating a halo around him. Ananya tilted her head to look at Roma’s room and if it was still locked. But he put two fingers on her cheek to turn her back to him.

‘Been waiting for this since I saw you.’

Jude lifted her arms & wrapped them around his neck, while his hands stroked her back. The flimsy fabric of her tank top not providing any barrier; it was almost like he was stroking her skin. Her legs, spread wide apart to fit him in, dangled aimlessly on the edge of the table.

How was he expecting a coherent verbal response from her in this situation?

She slowly slid one of her hands from his long muscly neck to his hair, fingers gliding through the thick, firm, soft curls. Her eyes searching his, telling him this is the best she could do right now.

That was all the signal he needed. Her grip in his hair tightened as he angled his head to cover her lips with his. Plump, pillowy lips caressing hers. Making her tightly shut her eyes and whimper out. Which broke something in him.

He dove in again with more urgency, parting her lips this time, getting them to move in sync with his. She gladly obliged, submitting to his rhythm while her heart hammered against her chest. She wondered if he could hear it too. But he was too occupied with tasting her mouth. All her little sounds & shudders giving him a head rush. His hot breath fanning her cheeks. 

When her whimpers went up an octave, he gave her a little breather, connecting their foreheads as they breathed in the same air. Her hands had fallen to the wide expanse of his shoulders, clutching at them to anchor herself. 

He kissed her forehead, the top of her eyes, and placed two delicate pecks on each cheek. His light stubble grazing her skin. She tilted her head involuntarily along with his movements, giving him ready access, like a puppy would to someone petting it. 

‘Ananya, lemme see you.’

The way he said her name, the fondness in his voice, it was like a silent command she couldn’t deny. Her hands gripped his shoulders tighter as she opened her eyes. 

He smiled affectionately, and it took her breath away. All the walls she had built around herself, all the rules, all the notions of just focusing on her work for now, this boy had bulldozed his way through all that with just his breathtaking smile.

Some part of her still conscious brain tried to chide her that she was no different than any of the other girls fawning over him. All it took was him showering her with his undivided attention and she was putty in his hands. But her brain couldn’t get a word in edgewise, her other senses had taken over. 

Jude reached for her hands, unclasped them from his shoulders, somehow sensing the tension in them. What he did next made her lightheaded. He moved his lips to her palms, placing soft, lingering kisses on both. And then, he moved her hands to his face, as if asking her to hold him. Somehow, this felt even more intimate than their kiss. 

His unending torso was all hard muscle, pressed into hers, but his face was soft. Rugged yet soft. Her hands couldn’t even fully cover his cheeks, she noted absentmindedly. So she used the pads of her thumbs to stroke the rest of his gorgeous face. 

Suddenly, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer into him. She looked up in surprise, finding darker, hooded eyes. 

‘The next time you wanna run away from me, remember this feeling.’

Not only had his eyes changed colour but his voice had turned hoarse too. Insistent lips crashed into hers, prying them open, his tongue penetrating her mouth. She gasped at the invasion. One of her hands fell from his face  & settled behind her on the table, trying to find balance, as the force of his kiss made her lean backwards, with him looming over her. 

His spare hand gripped her bare thigh to help steady her. She just realised how her tiny sleeping shorts had completely inched up her legs, leaving them almost fully bare. His hand was firm and his fingers dug into her skin, making her head spin.

She lost her balance, despite his support, falling further backwards and knocking down a container behind her on the table. He broke the kiss & stretched his arm to reach for the container, finding it just before it was about to crash on the floor. While she just panted in his hold.

‘Jude…I..’

‘Shhhhh, I got you.’

They fell into a warm, comforting embrace. Arms settling around each others’ backs. Her face resting in the crook of his neck as he quietly stroked her hair.

‘Did it ever occur to you that it’s hard for me to trust as well?’

That made her grudgingly break the hug and look up at him with confused eyes, while their arms remained locked around each other. 

‘It’s tough to figure if someone really likes me for me or it’s the lifestyle, fame, money and exposure that they are after. If a private encounter would remain private or the details would be splashed over some social media later. If some photoshopped images or invented stories be circulated as sworn truth. I have struggled to judge, so honestly I stopped trying. Keeping it just about sex was simpler. Uncomplicated. Convenient. No strings attached.’

No, it hadn’t occurred to her at all. Not till he put it like that. On any other day, she would have been irked at him trying to conveniently defend his conscious indulgences. But it felt more like an admission than justification. 

She stroked his neck and shoulders as he continued being vulnerable with her. 

‘You see, the normal and regular you think to be such a distancing factor, is in fact the opposite. A huge chunk of my life will always be public, I get that. I signed up for that. But this bit, I wanna protect. I’d love to come home to someone normal.’

Ananya stroked his face with all the tenderness she could muster. Trying to show that she understands. From the way he relaxed into her, she figured he got her message. 

Jude knew he had to be careful with her. Seeing her skimpy nightclothes hugging her body tonight had already disrupted his brain chemistry. He couldn’t shake the thought of how easy it would be to just push her on her back then & there. To rid her of the flimsy fabric barely covering her form l, with one determined tug. 

That’s why he knew he had to leave soon, while he was still thinking with his head. She wasn’t ready, not yet. 

‘That your room?’

He tilted his head towards the open door at the end of the corridor. 

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Want me to carry you in and tuck you into bed? I will leave after a goodnight kiss.’

She met his gaze with a twinkle in her eye, cocking her head sideways, biting her lip slowly. His eyes followed every little movement. 

‘Think you can handle being in my bedroom just to tuck me in?’

Boy, he didn’t see that coming. Didn’t know she had it in her. It immediately made him even more interested. The open challenge in her eyes, the suggestive tone, and that jutting out bottom lip. That needed to be responded to.

He leaned in and bit down at the same spot on her lower lip, making it sting a bit, then flicking it with his tongue. His hand gripped her bare thigh again, knocking the sass out of her.

‘Lippy. So lippy. I love it.’

He continued rubbing circles on her thigh with his thumb till he drew a moan out of her, despite her biting her cheek to keep it in.

‘Your pretty brain may not approve of me yet, but your body is definitely #TeamJude.’

She gasped, and he chose that moment to lean in for a deep goodnight kiss. Making it wet & sloppy, on purpose, so much so that she had to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand when he was done with her.

‘Sleep tight, dove. Talk to ya tomorrow. And..’

He leaned in to whisper in her ear, enunciating each word.

‘Will think about you tonight. Maybe in the car as well.’

With one last attempted wink, he bid her goodbye and walked out. While she was still perched up on the table, her body tingling everywhere he had touched her, her lips tasting of him, and her mind reeling from what had just happened.

……………………… 

There it is. Was delayed because, well, the pictures threw me off :)

As always, feedback / comments are always welcome. Hope you are enjoying their journey so far!

[dollmaidcrystal]

During a period when Mistress was too focused on work to play with her submissives, I became too tight for her to comfortably fit two fingers into. As punishment, I've been assigned to train on the Motorbunny Buck, Mistress's fucking machine of choice, daily for a month.

Day 1: Is this supposed to be a punishment? This doesn't seem like a punishment at all.

Day 2: I'm already tired of having to run an extra load on the dishwasher every day, since it has the all-important "Sanitize" cycle for cleaning up the Motorbunny attachments.

Day 3: Daily training is starting to pay off. That last session felt good. Really good.

Day 4: Riding the fucking machine is not the punishment, it's having to clean up afterwards every day. I asked Mistress if I could have permission to move the Motorbunny to next to the guest showers. (She said no.)

Day 5: Barely avoided disaster today. I forgot to lock up the door to the dungeon when the municipal water inspector came by to look around the basement. Fortunately, I spotted my mistake while he was still taking his boots off upstairs.

Day 6: Skip day. Mistress was home from work, and she called "dibs".

Day 7: Experimented more with the higher vibration settings today and probably overdid it. I’m going to have to take it easy for the next few days while my poor sissy booty heals.

Day 8: Switched from the spiral dildo to the precision probe. Today's training consists of trying to find exactly where all of my spots are.

Day 9: Skip day. I had a doctor's appointment. Real life takes priority!

Day 10: To make up for skipping a day, I switched to the larger Doc Johnson attachment. It was too large to ride, so I had to use the vertical wedge stand to be taken from behind. Taking something that large felt sooo good.

Day 11: Oh crap. While moving the Motorbunny back upright, I heard a crack. The plastic casing of the adapter plug cracked in half. I jury rigged back together (with some scary sparks!), but that is going to be a problem.

Day 12: A warranty replacement for the adapter is already on its way. I am more impressed by the customer service than how good I felt after today's session.

Day 13: Skip day. Mistress came home from work early because she was feeling sick. My time was spent taking care of her and lecturing her about the importance of diet and daily exercise. Writing this down in my punishment journal, I'm glad she was too sick to notice the irony.

Day 14: After some experimentation, the Motorbunny hits my spots best if I’m leaning all the way forward or arching backwards. I'm pretty sure I should stick to arching back in photosets.

Day 15: Mistress is still sick, which makes these daily training sessions extra hard. When she's healthy, I know that riding the fucking machine is a warmup for being played with later, but now I know it's going to leave me extra frustrated for the rest of the day.

Day 16: I’m starting to crave something in my mouth during these daily rides. I’m not sure how to deal with that. Maybe I should bring a box of Triscuits to the dungeon tomorrow? Will that work?

Day 17: Bringing a ball gag down to the dungeon definitely helps with my oral cravings, but I feel kind of silly doing it. It doesn’t help that 🐶 is staring at me like he’s judging my technique at chewing a ball. "Bloody amateur can't even keep in in her mouth without a safety strap."

Day 18: Mistress had some time to personally supervise my training today. The splash image on this post comes from this session.

Day 19: The warranty replacement adapter just arrived! I think I'll leave the broken one in place and keep the new one as a backup. I said it once, and I'll say it again: I am seriously impressed by the level of customer service Motorbunny has.

Day 20: Pondering upgrades to the Motorbunny using the Bondage Erector Set. Reflective Desires has so many ideas that I want to steal.

Day 21: The cursed LureVibe fucking bear is now making the rounds. I wonder if I should upgrade from Motorbunny to Motorbear. https://lurevibe.com/products/doll-automatic-thrusting-vibrating-swing-machine-female-masturbation-device

Day 22: Mistress is upset that most of the pictures she took makes me look hunchbacked. I need to find a way to ride the Motorbunny that's more photogenic, apparently.

Day 23: Gross! I accidentally put another layer of condom and lube on the attachment and didn’t peel it off before washing. Now I have a layer of cooked on dry lube to scrub off my dildo.

Day 24: I can't figure out how to advance my training. Mistress wants me to train to be penetrated at a wider variety of angles (instead of the one that feels really, really good but looks awful on camera). What even is the best to train for that? Wiggle around on the dildo every day?

Day 25: Following a friend’s advice, I’m trying yoga on the Motorbunny to improve my range of positions. This is a weird experience, and not just because of how hard it is to hold a stretch while being fucked.

Day 26: Skip day. After Pride Weekend, I can't move.

Day 27: Flexibility training continues. I’ve learned I’m not going to be able to move which spots feel good, but I can move the rest of my body. Biggest bang for my buck seems to be in getting more dramatic back arches, followed by working on my range of leg motion.

Day 28: Taking a break from trying to improve my form. Instead, I'm putting in the thickest attachment I can handle and enjoying the ride.

Day 29: I'm putting off today's training to edit and post this punishment journal. I'm hitting post now so I can get back to training.