A Love Connection Part 1
In a very special engagement (as in a don't normally post 5 days a week), I introduce "A Love Connection"!
If the premise looks familiar the original idea is from here, where a couple of people in the notes or tags said they'd love to try it. And after a year, I figured I'd try my own hand at the idea.
This will update on Tuesdays at 10am and 10pm EST. With hopefully eight chapters.
Summary: Steve has tried everything under the sun to find someone to truly connect with, so he gives up after a particularly horrible date. Then Chrissy introduces him to her favorite game show "Love Connection". When Chrissy and Robin apply for him, they don't think they'll except him, but he does. His suitors are Billy Hargrove, Tommy Hagan, and Eddie Munson. Will Steve crash and burn again or will his connection be there waiting for him?
~
Look, to say Steve’s love life was a disaster would be unfair. That would be underselling it. It was a fucking catastrophe. He had gone to bars, joined hobby groups, used all the apps, even Grindr; though that was mostly for hookups, which sucked. But that was the nature of the beast if he was honest.
And the beast had completely devoured him. All his dates were either only interested the casual, cheated on him, or wanted one-night stands. Which Steve absolutely did not want. He wanted connection. Intimacy.
“I absolutely give up,” he whined to Robin, after the last date tried to slip out in the middle of the night, knocked over their lamp into their goldfish bowl, killing the goldfish, then he tried to hide the evidence by dumping it down the garbage disposal and turning it on! Lied about it, then stole their last beer as “compensation for his trauma’ and told Steve to never call him again.
“Look, Ryan wasn’t the best guy,” Robin replied with a grimace. “He liked Oasis and Tool unironically. Always a red flag.”
Steve snorted. Robin was a music snob most days, but she wasn’t wrong about that. Ryan and he had been dancing around and with each other for weeks before they finally got so hot and heavy that they went back to Steve’s for sex.
“It’s not fair,” he huffed. “You went to that bar and you a hottie girlfriend and I went to that bar and fucked a fish killer! I loved Garfield! He lived for five years before that bastard mercilessly murdered him. That’s long than my last ten relationships combined!”
Robin winced. “Ooh... I’m going to have to call Chrissy and let her know we can’t go back to that gay bar again.”
“Oh he’s so dead now!” Steve ranted. “Not only is he fish killer, he has driven us from our favorite bar!”
“Let me order us some take out,” Robin said standing up, “then I’ll call Chrissy over and we’ll all cry over Ciarán Hinds and Amanda Root falling in love.”
Steve sniffed away a couple of tears and nodded. “Then can we have a funeral for Garfield?”
Robin tilted her head and smiled sadly. “Of course we can. It’s a Sunday so none of us have work. We can watch as many weepy romance movies as you want, okay?”
“Okay,” Steve croaked. She gave him a big hug and kissed his cheek. He watched her wander into the kitchen to see what leftovers they had in the fridge so they could order from somewhere else. He loved her so much.
~
Sometime in the afternoon when they were more than a little tipsy, Chrissy commandeered the remote and turned on her favorite game show.
“Love Connection”
“Noooo...” Steve whined, burying his head into a throw pillow. It was Garfield shaped. It was what inspired the naming of the valiant fish. “This is the last thing I want to see. It’s so fake. No one gets together on these things. It’s so cheesy.”
“Exactly!” Chrissy crowed. “That’s why it’s perfect, we get to make fun of them!”
Steve thought that the only good part of the show was the second half. The first half was split into three different rounds. The first round was each suitor answer the one question, for a total of fifteen and then the catch would rank them, best got three points, second two, and third only one.
Then in the second round there were a set of rapid fire either or questions that the catch would yell out and the suitors would write down their answers. If their answer matched the catch’s they would get a tally. Whoever had the most tallies would win five points. Then three points to second place and one to the last place.
Then in the final round, each suitor would be asked separate questions and the catch would rate their answer one through three and that’s how many points they would get. Then at the end of the round all the points would be tallied up and the two highest would move on to the next round.
To the part that Steve actually liked. The first question always asked was “what would you do for a first date?” And the suitors got to take the catch out for the date and then afterward for drinks, the two dates would ask the catch some of the questions he asked them. Then the catch would pick the one they connected to the best.
It was all the stupid questions that bothered Steve. That was the fun part of dating, having these conversations and learning about them as you go. But then maybe that’s what Steve’s problem was, is that the people he dated didn’t care about these types of conversations.
“Why would you say you hate sports,” Steve huffed, waving his hand at the screen, “when the guy is a major soccer fan? Like did she think that she was going to put a stop to him enjoying it after starting dating?”
“Ooh yeah,” Chrissy agreed. “Just pick a different catch.”
Robin turned to her and tilted her head. “Do they get to chose their catch? I thought it was all random.”
Chrissy paused the show and pulled out her phone and the Wikipedia article. “Okay, it says here that people can apply to be suitors,” she waved at the row of women in the three booths. “Or catches.” She indicated the guy with her hand. “If they’re chosen to be a suitor then they are given a list of catches, headshot included. Then they rank vote them, so if four people pick Henry, then one will be on their second rank vote. And that part is randomized. According to them, anyway.”
Steve snorted. He highly doubted anything was randomized or voted on. They went for the biggest drama and everyone knew it.
“How long has this show been going on?” he huffed. “Like please tell it’s new and shiny and that’s why people like it.”
Robin snorted and shook her head. “Sorry, babe. But this is season twelve.”
“Oohh...” Chrissy said. “We need to show him the season six finale. That was hella juicy!”
So despite Steve’s protests, Chrissy pulled it up on her streaming services even though they hadn’t even finished the episode they were on.
When the credits rolled, Steve stared at the screen in utter shock. “What the honest fuck was that?”
Two of the three guys got into an all out brawl when the one guy had scored the lowest and felt that the second place suitor cheated. Not first place, second. Both guys were arrested and hauled off the set.
“It came out later Sven was right,” Robin said. “Elliot cheated. His cousin was an ex of the catch so he went in knowing a lot about Stella. The things he got wrong were things that had changed since she was dating his cousin.”
Chrissy nodded. “That’s why the have partitions up between the suitors now and why they have vigorous screening now. The show was almost canceled.”
“So why wasn’t it?” Steve asked honestly. “That was a shit show, if I was Stella I would have sued them into oblivion.”
Robin squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “She did, but they settled out of court.”
“Basically,” Chrissy said, pouring them more wine and handing the first glass to Steve, “she wanted them to completely overhaul the system. She didn’t want it off the air, she wanted it safer for future participants.”
“The more the fool them,” Steve huffed. He took a long sip of his wine. “All right, fine. Let’s start at the beginning.”
Robin and Chrissy cheered and they all huddled up together on the sofa to watch this absolute train wreck of a show.
They were about half way through the third season and twice as drunk when Steve slurred, “Why are there no gay peemles in this? It’s a trav–trad–tramajesty.”
“Travesty!” Robin slurred back, her language skills always being the last to go when she’s three sheets to the wind. “And you are absolutely right! This is homophobic!”
Chrissy nodded solemnly and pulled out her phone. “I’mma show them...” she muttered with her tongue sticking out. “At loveconnectionUSA Need more gays, hashtag loveconnection hashtag need more gays.”
It wasn’t long after that that the three of them passed out on the sofa, empty bottles all around them and a message on the screen asking if they’re still watching.
~
There was a loud beeping noise and it absolutely was hurting his head. He reached over to where his phone was usually plugged in on his nightstand, but his hand went straight through it. He waved his arm all over the place but still his nightstand eluded him.
He peaked open one eye but his vision was obscured by a mass of blonde hair. He tried to push it out of the way but it kept falling back into his face. Finally he pushed Robin off him and onto the floor with a thud.
“Hey!” she yelped.
Steve peered over the edge of the sofa with a look of confusion. “Why are you on the floor?” he muttered over the still beeping of his alarm.
“Stop!” he mumbled and somehow, blissfully it did.
“I’m on the floor because you pushed me there,” Robin huffed, getting to her feet. She did a sniff test and grimaced when she completely failed. “God... how much did we drink yesterday?”
Chrissy struggled to sit up and blinked at her girlfriend groggily. “Not enough if I feel like this.”
Steve rolled over and looked at them both in confusion, then the events of Saturday and all day Sunday came flooding back in.
“Oh fuck...” he muttered, sitting up himself and rubbing his face. One eye was blurry from where his contact had shifted in the night. He wasn’t even sure why he had them on. Probably from sheer force of habit.
He got up and stumbled toward the bathroom where he emptied his stomach of all its boozy contents. He really didn’t remember them eating after breakfast, only a steady stream of harder and harder liquor.
While his was puking his guts out, Chrissy and Robin stole the shower. Thankfully only taking the time they needed to get the gross feeling of being hungover off their skin.
Then Steve closed his eyes as they exited the shower and snuck into Robin’s room to get ready for work. They all worked at Hawkins Middle School, where Steve was a history teacher who coached swimming and basketball. Chrissy was a health teacher and advisor for cheerleading. And Robin was the language teacher. The principal snatched her up because she could teach French, Spanish, and Italian, with her only needing to hire a German teacher.
Steve got his shower and then opted for glasses instead of his contacts, not trusting his shaky hands not poke out his eye or some shit.
They all were mostly human once they got coffee, painkillers, and cereal in them, the three of them, no doubt looking like escaped extras from a zombie flick. They moved as one, gathering up their stuff and shuffling out to Steve’s car. Chrissy sat in the back, Robin riding shotgun.
Chrissy opened her phone to check to see if she had any messages. “Holy shit!”
~
Part 2
Look I'd be sorry about the cliffhanger, but you're only waiting 12 hours for it, soooo...
Have fun!
Tag List: TEN SLOTS OPEN
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2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji
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7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
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my ideal makorrasami imagines are always like
asami comes home to her girlfriend and boyfriend after a long day of being a genius engineer and fortune 500 ceo
she picks up bolin on the way because it's mako's birthday so they're having a little get-together
they head to the pool because that's usually where korra can be found when the weather is super warm, and obviously mako will be there too keeping her company
she and bolin hear raised voices as they approach. omg the girlfriend and boyfriend are fightinggggg
it's a very sophisticated argument. they're just saying, over and over, "nuh-uh!" "uh-huh!" "NUH-UH!" "YEAH-HUH!"
asami and bolin round the corner to see korra and mako glaring at each other, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy, absolutely drunk off their gourd
asami's just like "pregaming, are we? i hope you left some alcohol for the rest of us" and raises one devastating eyebrow
korra and mako turn to her and their faces light up immediately. "asami!! you're here!!!"
(the eyebrow does nothing to dampen their enthusiasm, which is fine, because they're very endearing drunks and she is very much enjoying this)
then they turn back to each other and are like "SHE'LL agree with me. THEN you'll see. i'm right and you're wrong. you're the wrongest forever and ever. no YOU are" etc. etc.
this of course quickly devolves into good ol rough and tumble rasslin
bolin's like "ooh ooh ooh! what are we talking about? i love being part of conversations! i want to have an opinion!!!"
by which point korra has mako in a headlock and they turn in tandem to look at asami (bolin's input is not required) and very earnestly ask her who the best kisser is
they're looking at her so expectantly and korra has forgotten about the headlock so now they're just hugging as they wait with baited breath for asami's verdict
and asami's like oh well uh guys i can't really...that's not...apples oranges et cetera, you're both extremely good kissers, really top notch, full marks for everyone, i uh always love any sort of kissing that we get to do, um, together,
just digging herself into this awkward hole, right. because no one expects that question
mako's mouth drops open. "woah," he says
"yeah," says korra
as one, their heads swivel toward each other
"the BEST kisser...is ASAMI!!!!!" they say in unison
they stare into each other's eyes for a beat
suddenly their mouths are colliding as they LAUNCH themselves toward each other and begin making out frantically and with great fervor
occasionally coming up for air to say such things as "you're so smart" "no YOU" "no ASAMI is" "asami's the smartest" "i love asami" "she's the best ever for always" amidst the most embarrassingly sloppy kissing known to man
bolin's like "soooo. just to make sure i'm getting this straight"
asami: uh-huh
bolin: the reason korra and my brother are kissing in front of us so enthusiastically...
asami: yeah
bolin: ...is because they are in SUCH complete agreement...
asami: right
bolin: ...that YOU are good at kissing?
asami: that appears to be the case, yes
asami can hear bolin facepalm somewhere off to the side, but she only has eyes for the ridiculously adorable and uncoordinated makeout session taking place in front of her
cousin tu's voice comes from the direction of the house. "oh dude they're done arguing? right on"
bolin: how long have they been arguing?
tu: idk, like half an hour? for a while they were just arm-wrestling but korra let mako win because it's his birthday, and he got all cranky about it
bolin: uh-huh. so how did they get from that...to this?
tu: well obviously then korra said it doesn't matter if she's the best arm-wrestler because mako's the best kisser
bolin: wait
tu: and mako was all, "no YOU'RE the best kisser" and korra went "no YOU are"
bolin: so you mean to tell me...
tu: and i got bored after like, five minutes of that so i went back inside
bolin: ...all this time they were fighting because they each think the OTHER person is better at kissing?
tu: well, yeah. i mean if you ask me they both seem to be pretty bad at kissing lol. but whatever, it's not my problem. no offense, asami!
bolin: they're probably better at kissing when they're sober. i mean, this is just embarrassing. right, asami? please tell me this is not what you're working with on a daily basis. asami? hello? asami?
but asami isn't listening. she's gazing at korra and mako with the goofiest smile on her face. her pupils have turned into heart shapes. without conscious decision on her part she clasps her hands and presses them sappily to her bosom
tu: dude, maybe we should, like, give them a minute
bolin: is this even safe? what if they bite each other's lips off?
tu: korra's a healer, right? like, i'm not worried about it
asami doesn't notice them leave. she's so full of love for these two ridiculous idiots that it's spilling out of her in the form of literal tears. she's crying from how much she loves them
this continues until korra and mako in their clumsy enthusiasm actually fall into the pool. korra bends the water away from mako before he can drown and then immediately tries to punch it for endangering him. asami runs over to get them out and they both see that she's been crying. this is followed by a five-minute sequence of mako frantically petting her hair while she tries to convince korra to put away the fire-dagger, no one has been mean to her, everything is all right, korra, no wait, don't go into the avatar state, you're going to suck the cake into the element vortex -
mako thinks it's very unfair that the day after his birthday, he's the only one who wakes up with a hangover. apparently the avatar, who's been up since the buttcrack of dawn merrily inventing the new field of batterbending to replace the cake she and her past lives destroyed, is above such concerns. asami kisses his nose with great affection and, it must be said, terrible morning breath. "how about this," she says. "on my birthday, korra and i will get drunk and attempt to eat each other's faces and you can babysit. sound good?"
yes, that sounds good, he thinks. after all, taking turns has served them pretty well so far.
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