#but this was just… too comfortable. it seemed so afraid of having any conflict or having anybody be dislikable or have flaws

[gaylittleguys]

book musings don’t mind me

I was really so disappointed with the long way to a small angry planet. As soon as I identified WHY it was bothering me, I just started getting so annoyed I just returned it without finishing it. I didn’t want to be disappointed because I really loved the setup and the characters, and thought it had so much potential! But I really just couldn’t get over the way it was written, and the way it felt like Nothing actually happened ever, despite there being SO MANY things that were happening. It just felt like none of it mattered? Things would come up and be resolved with a neat little moral or something to say and that’s it. But I was over halfway through the book, and I don’t think I learned more about anybody than I did in the first couple chapters. It felt so devoid of any conflict or imperfection that it just wasn’t interesting lmao. There was a review that compared it to a tv show like Firefly, and Yeah. It felt like it was trying to be an episodic tv show, with fun little side adventures with the same cast, but that’s not what I want out of a book! I’d go watch a show for that!! I want a cohesive story PLEASE. There was just too many offshoots and too many side plots that I just didn’t care and none of them were interesting. Which is a shame because the world building was very compelling and I Wanted to be invested, but there was just barely any focus on the interesting plot points. I just had such a hard time with it, and I couldn’t finish it. I skimmed through the rest of the book to see if it got more interesting, but it seemed like it was just more disconnected side stories. Which was maybe the point, but it just felt like….. uninteresting. There was nothing to be invested in.

[just-a-ghost00]

What’s next for you in love?

Group 1 - Bicycle

Cards : back of the deck The World, The lovers, 5 of swords, 10 of wands, 3 of pentacles, 4 of wands, Queen of swords

You have met or may meet a person you deeply care for and feel strongly towards. This person could be working the same job as you do or be someone you know from college or any type of facility where you are learning and honing your skills. You view this person as a potential life partner / spouse. And you wish to keep this person close. However, you might feel like you have to compete for this person’s attention which generates a lot of stress. Either this person is too focused on their career to notice your feelings or there would be a lot of drama around you being with this person. The world card shows me that this is a destined connection, which you may know already. But no matter how strongly you feel for this person, it seems like either they aren’t ready to choose you or there’s a lot of pressure being put on you which keeps you two apart. Distance could also be an important factor in your situation. A difference in culture could be another. There’s a lot of inner conflict going on, both for you and this person. This could also be the case if this person were of higher status or were way older than you. If they already have kids or are in a committed relationship. Though that feels less likely because no card indicates here the presence of children. Maybe you and this person are of the same gender and one or both are not comfortable publicly expressing your feelings towards one another. There are so many possibilities here. But the main theme here is that there’s a struggle in accepting the relationship as it is. Union isn’t impossible though. It’s just that getting there would be pretty tough for both of you. For some of you, it could be that you are debating whether looking for a partner is the right thing to do. Maybe some of you are scared of committing to someone or afraid that you wouldn’t be able to juggle between your personal goals and your love life.

I asked spirit who this person could be and you got the following cards : The Hierophant, 9 of wands, The Sun, 7 of pentacles, Patience, nº12 Ambon damselfish - Don’t be afraid to use your voice.

This person could be a Taurus or a Leo or have these signs as important placements in their chart. This person is incredibly wise and charismatic. They are a hard worker. They tend to work themselves to exhaustion because they are a high achiever. They are resilient and patient in all areas of their life, especially when it comes to their passion and career. This person could have a dog or a bird as a pet. Their voice seems very significant. They are definitely a good communicator and they value honesty. This person could be a teacher, a public figure like an ambassador or a celebrity, a politician, a man/woman of faith like a preacher, a spiritual guru of some sort. Their energy is very feminine, nurturing, warm. They are extremely lovely and faithful. They can be a little close minded sometimes because they hold their values tight to their chest. They are strong and influential. In terms of physical traits, they could have a darker skin tone than yours, longer hair or at least if they identify as a man, their hair would be longer than most people of that gender. They could dye their hair frequently because all kinds of hair colors are being represented on the cards (red, blue, black, brown). There are also various types of outfits so this person likes to play with their style. They can dress casual one day and very classy the next. They may have a bit of a hot temper sometimes. They have been through hell and back and yet they are the sweetest person on earth. They work so hard that they could forget to breathe if it weren’t a subconscious thing. I feel like you would be upset at what this person puts themselves through in the name of their dreams and ideals.

Group 2 - Photograph

Cards : back of the deck King of cups, The Devil, The Magician, 3 of cups, Queen of cups, White Numen, Ace of pentacles

The first thing that came to mind was "be careful what you wish for" because you guys have some strong manifestation abilities. And if you wish to attract the ultimate healthiest of relationships, there will be a lot of work and cleaning to do. Starting from loving yourself without question. Luckily for you, you have spirit’s energy on your side. So you can trust that the Universe will be presenting you relationships that aren’t too toxic if you do the work. There’s a suggestion here to take some time for yourself, to have fun and explore your preferences because you have the power to attract people from all gender and horizons. Be wary though of third party situations. You may want to check group 1 if you hesitated between the two groups. I feel like a lot of you will be focusing on your own accomplishments for a while instead of looking for love. And honestly that’s the way to go because love always comes knocking on your door when you least expect it. You better be prepared when it does. Behind the king of cups was the 6 of cups. So you could very well be attracting a soulmate soon and/or someone from your past / childhood.

I ask spirit for more information about who you could be attracting and you got : knight of wands, 5 of wands, The Sun, 9 of pentacles, 20 orange dotted tusk fish - Think outside the box, Power.

This person is freaking hot 🥵They are not even aware of how attractive they can be, especially when they are passionate about what they’re doing. They are independent, a go getter, someone that is supported by their community though they may sometimes feel pressured by their peers. They are a traveler at heart. They like to wander and explore. They love to flirt, not gonna lie. They are a social butterfly. This person is not your typical love interest. They are not what you usually expect in a partner. So let’s say your thing is men with no facial hair that work a nine to five, then this person is the complete opposite : they have a full beard and they work whenever they please because they’re their own boss, thank you very much. Could also be that they’re of a gender you wouldn’t usually feel drawn to. They could be a Leo or a Sagittarius. Even an Aries. Honestly there’s a lot of fire in this spread. So expect them to be pretty horny as well. They are ambitious, driven, stubborn. They like to have their own space and do things on their own. They’re not the type to ask for help. That’s not how they were raised I’m hearing. They may appear tough but they are a softie deep down. They just like to share and learn and enjoy life at its fullest. When it comes to their looks, they have tanned skin for sure. They could come from any country in Africa, in Latin America, in Australia or around the Mediterranean. They could also be an islander. They are likely to have long hair. They are pretty fit or really curvy. They could have a connection to ravens. This person could be neurodivergent. They like to be outdoors. They have big D energy, no matter their gender. Though they don’t consider themselves this way. They could be a religious person.

Group 3 - Tree climbing

Cards : back of the deck Temperance, Wheel of fortune, Hierophant, High Priestess, The Moon, 6 of wands, Black Numen

Ooooh this is going to sting in the best possible way. Group 3, you have been doing the work 👏 Congratulations, you are attracting a major relationship : your divine counterpart, your ONE and ONLY, your forever and ever person. This is big energy, I’m so excited for you! This is honestly a huge victory because I feel like you have been praying for this connection soooo much you thought it would never come true. The Universe has heard your wish and they are ready to answer it. It is possible you may dream about this person. A big cycle is ending for you. You are no longer in the dark and alone. Your life is transforming for the better. It may feel a little uncomfortable at first and you may find yourself fearing that this is too good to be true. If that is the case, remind yourself of what you worked so hard for and what your heart has been wishing for so many times. Now it’s here, it’s coming and it’s going to be just what you needed. There’s commitment potential for this connection and honestly I would be surprised that this wouldn’t work out because hello the energies are so beautiful 🤩 It’s like a fairytale coming to life. The tables have turned group 3. You will no longer be the third wheel in group dates! You will no longer spend the night wondering what your destined lover is up to because they will be by your side soon. Cheer up and celebrate! The struggle is over.

I asked spirit who this person is and you got : 6 of cups, 8 of cups, knight of pentacles, 4 of wands, The Void, 8 hammerhead shark Get ready to win

This is very specific but for some of you your person has recently divorced and they were desperate to find a partner they could match with because they have children. And they think that raising children requires two parental figures. For others this could be someone from your past you walked away from that is coming back to you, completely changed and ready to commit. Either way, your person has got out of a dark knight of the soul and they are now feeling like their luck is back. Your person could be living near a body of water or they love water. They could be a swimmer. With The Void, they could be unemployed right now or decided to withdraw from work to take care of their kids if they have any or to tend to their mental health after what they’ve been through. This person lacks self confidence. They feel like their past experience might ruin their prospects in love. They’re afraid that the past will repeat itself, that they will be disappointed again. They long for a stable connection and they will take their sweet time admitting their feelings because they have been so scarred their trust issues run deep. You should proceed cautiously with their heart. They are extremely shy. I’m getting a download that they love your curves. I’m getting the vibe of a mother that’s pregnant. Maybe some of you are expecting a baby and they find that cute. Or it could be that they can imagine themselves having children with you. This person wants to pamper you omg this is so sweet. They feel quite protective over you and I get the feeling of someone that’s super anxious because they don’t know if you already have someone in your life. The idea of someone else laying their hands on you makes them uncomfortable. In terms of appearances, this person has a lean body. They appear quite young. They feel very soft and feminine so if they’re a guy they completely break the stereotypes of what a man should be like. So they’re not the super bulky and forceful type but rather the sweet and romantic guy that’s minding his own business and is so respectful you’d want to shake them because all they can think of saying is "hello, thank you, have a good day, goodbye" on repeat without even looking you in the eyes, when you can clearly sense their inner turmoil. Lmao

[lilacxquartz]

your body is my temple (and i will worship you);

incubus male oc x human fem!reader

w.c: 2.1k

summary: you and midnight take it to the next level and satisfy a mutual curiosity.

themes: smut, demon x human, porn with plot, size difference, one shot, reader insert, oc/ original character, biting, first person pov

~~~

Slowly but surely, it has been getting easier with having Midnight around. I became used to his presence over time, no matter how unsettling he seemed to be.

As it turned out, demons weren’t too different from humans after all.

At least not by that much.

For the most part, he tried to approach me in a way that he thought to be human in nature. That was my interpretation at least. He tried minimise my fear by getting to know me personally, taking interest in what I like as a means to find a common ground so that we could both get along.

This was going well. Or as well as it possibly could have been given the circumstances because who truly expects an incubus to show up in their life, just like that? Still, just for him alone, I fitted my apartment with blackout curtains so that he could move around comfortably as he pleased.

Slowly, I became used to his presence and before long, we were finally comfortable with one another.

Which led Midnight to want more than what we already had.

(Considering that he was an incubus, I was mostly just surprised that he didn’t bring it up sooner.)

Just as I finished up on my dinner, he followed me back to the bedroom with a certain sort of glint in his eye.

Personally, I wanted to get some more reading done but I could already tell that Midnight had more than just relaxation in mind.

“How interesting,” he observed as his pointed fingers trailed along my flesh, “I don’t have to kiss you for you to stop feeling afraid anymore.”

I nodded, thinking that he had a point. Usually, I would shudder at his touch because Midnight, regardless of how gentle he acted, was still a demon—a monster—there was nothing calming about him at all.

With a featherlight touch, he brushed his fingers down to my chin, pointing my jaw up at him, murmuring on and off in a slur, “You are so… intoxicating… when you’re not afraid.”

Midnight then leaned over me, making my back land flat against my mattress. His body hovered over mine as he dipped his face down with breath like ashen fire, smoking against my skin; daring me to reciprocate.

“I can’t resist, at least not forever,” he admitted, pressing his body right up against mine. The shadows that enveloped his body in void-like fire didn’t do much to his excitement as I could feel it, pushing up right against me with want and even need.

Sinking somehow even further into the mattress, I retracted myself with a cautious tone behind my words, “But, you’re not a forceful incubus …are you?”

Midnight froze in his pursuit, retracting ever so slightly as he lifted his lips off of mine. His blank eyes screwing shut as though he pushed any dark thought back into the murky depths of his mind.

(The part that he didn’t dare let surface, for your own sake.)

“I’m not,” he soothed.

I exhaled a deep breath and tried to get up from bed, but he still kept me locked in; caging my frame with his arms as his palms sank into the mattress.

“But it’s just… certain things,” he began, his voice almost growling as he spoke, “from the way that you breathe to the way your skin goosebumps when it brushes against mine, I’m starting to understand fate a little better, is all,” he paused before continuing, “don’t you feel at least… a little bit similar?”

Admittedly, I did feel something. I just wasn’t sure what. I harboured some sort of curiosity given that he was an incubus and at times, my mind explored such a possibility. To experience something more intense, perhaps even dangerous; the very thing that his kind was known for.

As my mind internally conflicted with itself, he tried to comfort me even if he didn’t let me go, “It’s not your fault, I know. It’s not even personal; humans were designed to fear the unknown.”

“It’s just…” I trailed off as I truly began to consider it. I wasn’t against it, that wasn’t the issue. It was the logistical side of things that threw me off; his height and therefore his potential size was an issue.

He tilted his head off to the side, giving me a moment to think.

“It’s just,” I continued from where I left off, “wouldn’t it hurt if we were to…?”

Midnight eased into a slowly relaxing smile, the glimpse of sharp teeth playing into his expression. Slowly, his body relaxed as he began to understand exactly why I felt so on the fence about things, “I’d work you into it, of course, but also, incubi and even succubi have evolved with human anatomy in mind. It can hurt, but it won’t kill you.”

My eyes flickered off to the ceiling, avoiding his gaze. Despite him lacking irises, I somehow always knew when he was making eye contact with me.

“Let me help you ease into it,” he offered, sweeping his hands around my body; his touch so rough yet so gentle at the same time as worshipping my very own skin.

His hands then moved down as he worked me into it, my eyes widening as his protruding claws grazed against my inner thigh. Black pointed nails spearing from his greyed fingertips.

Pausing, Midnight retracted his hand and balled it into a fist to reel in the claws and assume the length of normal fingernails.

“…My mistake,” he murmured, almost seeming embarrassed.

“W-weird…” I whispered in response, my voice dripping with fascination.

He didn’t reply however, choosing to push the with the task in mind instead. Peeling my sweat shorts down, he dipped his index finger into my sex before retracting it ever so slightly.

“I’ll work you into it,” he promised as he continued to stare at me, as though searching for a certain type of reaction, “I won’t hurt you… too much.”

My thighs squeezed involuntarily as he slid his digit back and forth while his thumb rubbed circles over my clit, lulling me into a gradually relaxed state. It took a couple of minutes at best, but soon enough I was flushed, my cheeks burning with anticipation as he leaned in over me.

Pulling his hand away from me, he moved ever so slightly back to rest both hands against my hips before brushing down to meet parallel with my knees. Curiously, he tented up my legs with a steady grip, hovering his body over mine, positioning the tip of his cock right against my entrance.

Noticing my unease, Midnight continued to take things slowly with as much reassurance as possible, “Relax with me.”

I tried to nod, feeling him ease slowly into my core, wincing as he gradually filled me out completely. I writhed just a little bit underneath his slowly flattening body, his length completely enveloped by my walls in all directions as he finally moved in as far deep as he could possibly go.

Midnight released a low guttural moan in a satisfied tone, seeming pleased as he took a hot minute to fully appreciate the sensation.

“Feeling okay?” he asked as he checked in.

“K-kinda,” I replied in a slightly strained tone.

With a tight nod, he pushed himself back ever so slightly to take the pressure off of you just a little bit, “We’ll go as slow as we need to, then.”

“O-okay,” I murmured in response, feeling him slowly retract his hips and then steadily push back inside.

His movements felt almost calculated as he rolled his hips against mine. With each thrust, no matter how gentle; my breath fluttered upon his impact, my eyes close to watering from the building intensity.

My whines turned into cries as I adjusted to his size, my legs widening as I struggled to take him in. My back arching as a means to accommodate him. As a means of seeking comfort, my fingers desperately clawed at the sheets, grabbing heaped bunches of linen as my toes curled on queue.

It was gradual, but he picked up the pace over time as it became easier for him to both move inside of me as well as my body finally starting to relax, somehow. In a way, I was actually extremely turned on and my heat, so slick and glistening wet, gave away just how I truly felt. My body softened at his touch, allowing him to adopt a quicker pace.

I gasped again as he positioned himself closer over me, continuing to keep me confined within his arms. His arms relaxed over the bed, keeping himself comfortably propped up against his elbows while his head dipped over mine, his lips so desperate to connect with my own.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck in an attempt to pull him closer, seeking comfort within his touch which he then leaned into, taking up the pace a notch in response; so feverishly keen.

Midnight grunted as he now pounded into me, rutting his hips at an almost feral pace as I whined in slight protest. To counter my complaints, he finally kissed me to ease the discomfort, spilling whatever magic he held onto inside, slowly tranquilising—numbing the soreness, soothing the unrelenting pain inflicted by his touch.

“Still doing good?” he whispered into my lips, despite not slowing down at all.

“I-I’m good,” I confirmed, just barely hearing him over the heavy breathing and the sound of slapping skin, “I’m good, I’m good…”

Midnight smiled as he revealed his razor sharp teeth that reflected in the spilling moonlight, planting his lips right against my own as his tongue couldn’t help but invade and explore, taking the lead within my mouth as I just barely wrestled it back. Getting too ahead of himself, he couldn’t help but pluck a taste either, sinking his teeth into my lips.

However, upon feeling my body protest to such a sudden and sharp pain, he reeled himself back ever so slightly, offering only a half apologetic whisper, “Sorry ‘bout that.”

His breathing grew gradually heavier as he struggled to retain his composure; his body shaking as I struggled to maintain a secure hold around him. His hips almost trembled—quaked rather as his pace became rougher, his groans morphed into growls as he truly lost himself in my body. I could feel as he subtly accelerated and as his teeth grazed on occasion over my shoulder, grazing against such soft tissue in comparison to his hardened skin. He wasn’t truly apologetic, but he did mutter out hasty apologies whenever I squirmed in heated protest.

I held on either way, feeling as his claws spilled from his fingertips—piercing the bed in a lapse of dwindling control. His body almost vibrated as he purred in deep satisfaction, continuing to slam his monstrous length into my cunt.

“Almost,” he promised as he fucked himself into me, “almost, almost—!”

With a steady push that followed after his words, I could feel as his cock throbbed and twitched inside of me, releasing a surge of warmth within my walls in an almost demanding release. I gasped as he slammed himself inside a final time, painfully emptying himself into me with such pressure and overflowing passion that it couldn’t help but spill onto the bedding as he slowly pulled himself out of my spent body.

I shook ever so slightly as my legs quivered, feeling as Midnight soothed me with another kiss before completely rolling off of me, “To numb the pain.”

I nodded as I did my best to recover, panting as I did so, recollecting my breath while my body glistened with sweat. It took a while, but slowly my body relaxed a second time; my legs squeezing shut once more as my hips wound down.

“Don’t worry about the mess,” Midnight said, “I’ll be your bed for tonight.”

I didn’t protest too much, if at all as I felt him pull my body over his own. He was surprisingly comfortable and perfectly warm; the shadows that wisped from his body tickled against my skin in a gentle warmth, providing a soothing effect to lessen the remaining tension that I still held onto.

Feeling my eyelids droop shut, I couldn’t stay awake for a second longer anymore and drifted off to what seemed to be a much needed sleep.

All the while thinking that perhaps that giving into Midnight was the light I needed, because maybe, just maybe, fate wasn’t wrong in bonding me with him after all.

~~~

more original works • and if fanfics are your thing 🖤

[wanderersbell]

when he lets you wear his hat

wanderer x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: dark humor (just in the beginning)

word count: 1168

a/n: i am a firm believer that scara loves dark humor yes i might be projecting but nobody can change my mind ( ˘ ³˘)♥ enjoy!

your unwavering patience is something you’ve always taken pride in. 

there have only been a few instances where you’ve lost your cool in the fleeting years of your life, always feeling a certain kind of superiority in situations where you can hold your own even if it would be reasonable to let go for a moment. 

but now, after weeks of nonstop backhanded comments and complaints from your traveling companion, it is through sheer willpower alone that you haven’t turned around and tried to bite his head off every time he opens his mouth. 

“you seriously can’t swim?” the wanderer asks from somewhere behind you. “didn’t you ever have fun as a kid?”

you bite the inside of your cheek and keep up your brisk pace while he snickers to himself like it truly is the funniest thing in the world. the unforgiving desert sun is hot against your back and the fine grains of sand that keep finding their way into your shoes feel like they’re rubbing your skin raw, leaving you sweaty and miserable. 

the one traveling with you doesn’t share these sentiments, hardly even taking notice to uncomfortable sensations anymore, and thus remains entirely unbothered, much to your annoyance. 

he almost seemed understanding at first, suggesting you take a dip in a nearby oasis to cool off before you overheat, but one insignificant mention of your swimming skills, or lack thereof, had turned into him making fun of you for it before you could even begin to regret bringing it up. 

the wanderer doesn’t relent even when you keep ignoring him. “surely it’s not because you’re afraid, right? what’s so scary about water?” 

“quit it.” you warn him sharply, gritting your teeth so hard your jaw begins to ache. of course, you’re already expecting him to do the opposite. 

“wait, don’t tell me.” he starts, jogging a bit to catch up to you. “nobody bothered to teach you? mom just too busy to make time for you?”

this has you freezing in your tracks, coming to a halt beside him, and before you can even process the thought going through your head-

“at least i actually had one.”

the silence that follows is deafening as you snap your head up to stare at him, his expression of shock mirroring your own. guilt starts twisting around in your stomach as soon as the words leave your mouth, but the joyous laughter that erupts out of your traveling companion the next second chases it away as he hunches over and cackles.  

“that was incredible,” he gasps out. 

you narrow your eyes at the sight but you can’t help the smile that starts tugging at your lips seeing him thrown into such a genuine fit of giggles, the sound melodic and tugging at your heartstrings. “why are you laughing?”

he lifts an arm to wipe the sweat off of his forehead as he starts to calm down, leaving you with a bundle of conflicting emotions tangled together in your chest. 

“i never thought you had it in you.” he explains, sounding almost… proud? there’s an undeniable glow of satisfaction on his face, and it’s only then that you realize, this entire time, his goal was to get you to play along. 

“looks like you really can teach an old dog new tricks,” the wanderer shrugs, his usual shit-eating smirk returning to his lips. 

“i- wha?” you sputter incredulously. “haven’t you been around for centuries? and you’re calling me old?”

he makes a noncommittal sort of hum as you two start walking again. a comfortable silence falls over you both, the man beside you finally silent after getting what he wanted out of you. however, the heat isn’t any less forgiving than it was moments prior so your pace inevitably slows until you’re forced to stop and lean down to rest your hands on your knees, each inhale of hot air offering absolutely no relief. 

when he realizes you stopped walking and turns around to send you an unimpressed look it’s quickly replaced by poorly masked concern that shows in the furrow of his brows and the tight line of his lips. it’s only then that he remembers the bottle he watched you pack earlier that morning. 

“drink,” he says as he reaches into your bag and pulls out a full flask of water. you grab it from him gratefully and can’t help the sigh you release at the coolness of the liquid from being inside of a metal container. 

the wanderer watches you wordlessly as you twist the cap back on and turn to put it back in your bag, and the second you look away the feeling of something being placed on your head as well as suddenly being enveloped in the shade catches you by surprise. when you whip around to meet his gaze he avoids yours and walks a few steps ahead, arms crossed and hat mysteriously missing. 

when it clicks, your jaw drops a fraction and you reach up to slide your fingers along the gold metal leaves, finding them hot to the touch from the scorching sun. 

the wanderer never lets you touch his hat. not even as his trusted companion. every time you’ve tried in the past, he’s quick to step out of your way or slap your hand back whenever he sees you going for it. there’s a sparkle of joy in your eyes when he peeks out of the corner of his to take in your reaction and scoffs when he sees the awe on your face. 

“come on, let’s keep moving.” he huffs, tone sounding irritated. 

unused to the weight of the wide hat balanced on your head, you catch up to him on wobbly feet, one hand still holding onto the rim so it won’t tip off. how the wanderer manages to jump around and run without it sliding everywhere is beyond you, because it feels like it could fall off at any moment. 

this does not go unnoticed to the man next to you, but you’re too busy trying to stand straight and walk without tilting too much, so you’re not prepared for the gust of wind he flicks at you that tips the hat up and off, saved from falling to the ground only by his hand that shoots out to grab it and put it back the way it was before. 

“hey!” you pout indignantly, sending him a look of annoyance. when your meet eyes meet his, his vibrant indigo irises are swimming with mirthful contentment, and a small smile rests easily on his face. it’s not an expression you get see on him that often, but like always, it causes pitiful flutters in your chest. 

your frown softens despite yourself and you avert your gaze to the horizon where the sun hangs high in the sky, feeling thankful that you can just blame the flush staining your cheeks on the heat if he points it out. 

what a truly insufferable travel companion you have. 

[phoward89]

Banner by me. Dividers by @saradika

Summary: Coriolanus doesn't do feelings, but he finds himself comforting you during a breakdown. A breakdown that you had because you were voted to be the female tribute for District 12 during the First Quarter Quell.

Warnings: Coriolanus Snow is his own warning! Possessive!Coriolanus, Obsessive!Coriolanus, DelusionalCoriolanus, Dark!Coriolanus, Soft Dark!Coriolanus?, Head Gamemaker!Coriolanus,mentions of blood, cussing, um that's pretty much it

Story Masterlist

Chapter 6:

After sharing a deep moment with Coriolanus over poisons, you helped him out of his sitting chair and towards the direction of his room- your shared room. He gruffly protested, saying that he didn't need help.

But you insisted on helping him. His large frame felt frail as he leaned on your side, his arm draped over your shoulder as he let out painful, bloody coughs.

Looking up at him, you sighed. “I don't want to risk you falling out before reaching our room, Coryo. Just let me help you.” His icy eyes bite into you, so much conflict in them. You felt heavy under his stare, as if a ton weight was being pressed down on you. “You help me; I help you.” You told him, breaking the heaviness in the air. “You said I belong to you and that you’ll protect me, won't let anything hurt me again. Well, it works both ways, Coryo. You belong to me too; I have to take care of you too.”

Your words touched him, made any fight he had against your help disappear.

Coriolanus wasn't used to having a woman dote on him with gentle care. No, he hasn't had that in years.

Not since he returned to the Capitol from his time serving in the peacekeepers in 12. Tigris grew cold to him upon his return; never showed him tenderness again.

Locked up right in the back of his mind were the cherished memories of his mother cuddling him and singing him loving lullabies. Coriolanus lost her too soon when she died during childbirth with his baby sister.

That loss, although he acts like he's gotten past it, haunts a part of his soul. A part that he's forgotten long ago.

But with your tenderness and care towards him. Worrying about his well-being. Well, it made him realize that he’s touch starved and needs a woman's softness to comfort him, to soothe his demons.

“Well, Y/N, it looks like we'll just have to take care of each other then since, as you pointed out, we belong to each other.”

Are you ready to take care of a man? An older man with needs, with a sexual appetite? A man who has no moral compass? Who’ll drag you down to hell with him?

Ready or not, it's happening.

You're taking care of Coriolanus Snow; you're his til the day you die now.

Your soft words and concern filled actions sealed your fate.

“Come on, let's get you settled in bed.” You told your man as you guided him down the hallway. Secretly praying that Coryo wouldn't collapse before you could get him into bed. Because if he fell on the floor, well…he'd be staying there because you couldn't pick him up.

“You’ll be joining me, darling.” Coryo stated, not asked, as the door to your shared room got closer.

“Yea.” You nodded. “But between your bloody coughing and my nightmares, I don't think we'll get much sleep.”

“Then, my darling rose, we'll just rest, side by side, until we can't fight off our sleep any longer.” He said, his timbre deep, but smooth, as you opened the bedroom door and helped him steadily walk into it.

Sleep didn't come easy to you or Coriolanus.

His body’s convulsing with painful, bloody coughing fits while you refuse to sleep, your stubborn fear ruling over you.

You're too afraid of what you'll see once you close your eyes. You didn't want to relive your time in the arena; that seemed to happen every time you tried to sleep.

So, the only solution was to keep your eyes wide open as long as you could.

Since Coriolanus was coughing badly, spitting up blood and struggling to breath, he was laying by the edge of the bed with a small trash can by his side. You placed it there, after helping him strip to his boxers and settling him in bed, so he could use it to spit up blood in. You figured it'd be easier than him soaking thru hankies or struggling to make it to the bathroom to hack up blood.

This meant that you weren't sleeping next to him, like you did last night.

No.

Instead, you were on your side, looking out the large window while a considerable amount of space was between you and Coryo. You didn't want to bother him while he was coughing, plus you didn't want to be so close to him. You wanted, no needed, some breathing room.

After all, you’re still reeling from the games whether you want to admit it or not.

As you listened to him cough, shifting in bed to grab the small waste basket to spit up blood in, your mind drifted off to the day that the twist of this year's games was announced.

A cold, harsh winter day in January...

The Hunger Games are being held in a few short months and it’s your last year eligible for the drawing since you’re 18. You've been lucky that your name has never been called during these last few years. Your brother claims that the Gods (he found an old book series in the ratchety shack of the district 12 library and got into the mythological religion and lore in them) have something big planned for your life. Unlike Rein, you weren't a big believer in mystics, fate, or the Gods’ plans, but you did feel like you were meant for more than life in the depressed, cold, muddy coal district.

Your teachers at the high school felt that you were smart enough to qualify for training as a teacher or an internship at the apothecary once you graduated in a few months. You talked over your options with Rein and his girlfriend, Ashlie, only to decide that you'd like to intern at the apothecary.

They even encouraged you to approach the Ashberry Apothecary and ask for an after school job. They said that since you were the smartest girl in school that the Ashberrys would be foolish not to consider giving you a job cleaning up the shop, let alone the internship come early summer.

So, you listened to your family and approached the Ashberrys about an after school job cleaning their shop and what not. And, to your joy, they hired you.

Well, Mr. Juris Ashberry hired you. His wife, Belladonna, didn't want you in her shop because she didn't want you around her son, Valerian ‘Val’. She thought that you might try to wiggle your way into his heart (and bed) to get out of the Seam and into the Merchant Sector.

Little did Mrs. Ashberry know, you could care less about her son. Val wasn't your type. He just didn't appeal to you.

He just seemed…you dunno…nice, but snotty. Like, he'd talk to you in the apothecary, but out on the streets in public he wouldn't be caught dead talking to you.

Yea…not your type…

You were sweeping up the floor in the apothecary while Val was leaning behind the counter, bored. Mr. and Mrs. Ashberry were out and about checking on patients in town, leaving just you and their son to watch the shop.

“Your shadow's coming up the bend.” Val warned, pointing to the shop window.

You looked up, only to see Corbin Everdeen, in that god awful sienna sweater his Auntie Maude Ivory knitted him, making a beeline to the shop. His bright, baby blues were locked onto the shop. It seemed like that was the only thing on his mind.

You internally groaned, not wanting to deal with your neighbor. You let him wear you down yesterday about listening to a new song he was writing.

It was called My Mother Told Me and was, basically, about acquiring a boat and sailing away to a distant land. You liked the guitar melody, but not the lyrics since it was literally the same few phrases repeated over and over again.

He didn't take your criticism well; chucked his guitar at your cat and stormed back to his house at the end of the street.

His Auntie Maude Ivory came over minutes later apologizing and asking for his guitar back.

Rein gave her the guitar back, but told the widow that her nephew wasn't welcomed back into your house. That he didn't appreciate her nephew trying to murder his sister's cat by throwing a guitar at it.

“He's not my shadow, Val. He's my neighbor.” You sighed, dreading the moment that Corbin reached the shop.

“Lock up the shop when your done sweeping up. I'm heading to the square for the mandatory group viewing of the games announcement being held in a few minutes.” Val told you before pushing himself up and away from the counter.

Oh, yea, that was today. You totally forgot that all of Panem had a scheduled mandatory viewing of an important message from President Ravenstill about the games today.

“Okay.” You simply nodded, sweeping the floor as the young man with cornsilk hair went over to the door.

You heard the bell ring, indicating that he left. You saw him walk away from the shop, only to cross paths with Corbin. They stopped for a minute, only to exchange a few polite words, before going on their own ways.

You were almost done sweeping whenever the doorbell chimed. “You almost done? I thought we could walk to the square to watch the announcement together.” Corbin asked, standing in the doorway.

Why he didn't walk further into the room, you didn't know. You thought it was weird how he's just standing in the doorway, staring at you as if he's trying to imagine what you look like underneath your dress.

God, Corbin's only 14 ½, he wouldn't be thinking dirty thoughts about you, would he?

No.

No, he's just your neighbor that has a hard time making friends since he's always daydreaming and making up songs. He doesn't mean anything by the way he's looking at you.

Well, your brother begs to differ. Rein thinks that Corbin likes you a little too much. Would prefer you not to spend too much time around him. Especially after last night's incident with the guitar and the cat.

“I was just about to lock up.” You told your neighbor, who was standing with his shoulders slumped; hands shoved in his pockets as he stared at you. His stare made you feel uneasy.

“But my my brother doesn't want you hanging around, so I better just walk to the square by myself.” You told him, hoping it'd make him leave, before sweeping your dirt pile into a dustpan and dumping the contents into a trashcan.

“Rein needs to calm down.” Corbin huffed as you put the broom and dustpan away in a small closet. “I didn't mean to scare your cat, Junebug. I just got upset that you hated my song and my guitar slipped. Hell, I wasn't even aiming it at the stupid cat.” He told you, running a hand through his dark curls, while you took your coat out of the closet and put it on.

You didn't want to walk to the main square with him, but it didn't look like you had any other choice.

“Don't call my cat stupid, Corbin Evergreen.” You ordered the boy, slamming the closet shut and crossing the room.

“Don't call me Evergreen, Y/N. You know I've been going by Everdeen ever since I was 11 and first met ‘cha.” Corbin told you before storming out of the shop.

His name was really Corbin Evergreen but when you first met him, he had a tiny lisp and you misheard his word as Everdeen instead of Evergreen. For some reason he decided to stick with Everdeen. He refused to answer to his former name of Corbin Evergreen, which was something that saddened his Aunt Maude Ivory.

You shook your head, not feeling up to dealing with Corbin Everdeen and his odd mannerisms. Sighing, you opened the door, set the lock on the doorknob, and walked out into the biting, cold late winter afternoon. Wrapping your arms around your middle, in a vain attempt to provide your body with more warmth, you sigh, “Let's get to the square.”

“Think maybe the big announcement is the games are being canceled?” The lanky boy next to you asked after a couple of minutes walking in silence.

“No.” You shook your head. Cancel the games. Ha, hell would freeze over first.

“They should cancel them.” Corbin told you, his tone full of disdain. You knew you were in for it. That he'd be going on a rant, like he always did when the games or when the tribute tour neared. “They're barbaric and the Capitol pigs watching and betting on the kids killing each other for shits and giggles each year should be strung up.”

Oh no, here he goes…

“And the worst of them all’s the head gamemaker, Snowball himself. God, that man needs to be taken outback and shot for the shit he lets go on in the arena. The fact he's strutting around in his luxury suits while the rest of us wear rags; sending our young to the slaughter for him to afford to buy those damn suits is fucking sick.” Corbin ranted as you got closer to the main square, where everyone in the District would be.

“Somebody should toss Snowball’s kids into the arena; see how he feels watching his babies fight for their lives while people bet on them like gamecocks in a fighting pit.”

“He doesn't have any kids, Corbin.”

The tall boy with the dark curls gave you a look and asked, “How'd you know that?”

“All the magazine articles only mention his wife. Same with any tv interviews.” You pointed out.

“Seems like the universe helped us dodge a bullet there. Bet his kid would be as cruel and corrupt as him.”

Little did you know, the universe didn't help you dodge that bullet. In fact, that bullet was dangerously close to piercing your skin…

You didn't know the head gamemaker, so you felt awkward listening to your neighbor bad mouth him. Rein and Ashlie, who joined your family about 3 years after your mother left, raised you with the golden rule. They also told you not to judge others until you walked a mile in their shoes. Despite enduring hardships to raise you, they taught you kindness. They also taught you the strength of perseverance.

Tired of the lanky, dark haired boy’s rant, you gave him the advice of, “You shouldn't talk about him like that. You don't know him; it's not nice to prejudge people.”

Corbin’s dark brows knitted together over his crystal blue eyes. He looked at you with disappointment and annoyance painted all over his face. “Junebug, don't give that man the benefit of a doubt. He designs the arenas that kids fight to the death in. He's not a good guy.”

“I'm going to find my brother.” You said, as a way to end the conversation with Corbin, while reaching the main square.

“A’ight.” He nodded. “I'll help you find him.” Corbin offered, only to follow you while you weaved in and out of the crowd.

It didn't take long to find your brother, Rein. He was standing in front of the Justice Building with Ashlie glued to his side.

Before you could ditch Corbin and make it to your family, he noticed them. Gesturing towards them, he grabbed your hand and said, “come on, I see them.”

You snatched your hand out of his, only to say, “I can make my way over to Rein and Ashlie without any help. Maybe you should find your Auntie Maude Ivory, cause I doubt my brother wants to see you right now.”

“Fine, I'll go find Auntie Maude. But, Y/N, your brother needs to calm down. Being so fired up over nothing, but a misunderstanding’s ridiculous.” Corbin grumbled before storming off into the crowd, head searching for his kin.

Rein seemed to notice you or mainly he noticed the exchange you had with Corbin. As soon as you came up to Rein and Ashlie, your brother pointed his cigarette at you and hisissed, “I don't like how Corbin's looking at you. It ain't normal, Y/N.”

“Don't worry about it, Rein.” You brushed off your brother. Honestly, you knew he was just looking out for you, but you didn't want to deal with his protective big brother antics right now.

Taking your brother's cigarette from his fingers and taking a drag, his girlfriend, Ashlie remarked, “Rein’s right, the way that Everdeen boy looks at you ain't right. Comes ‘cross like he'd steal you away or something by how eerie his stare is.”

You opened your mouth to respond, only to hear Panem's anthem sound out into the air, marking that in a second the president would appear on screen to make his announcement. Clamping your mouth shut, you turned your attention to the large projection screen that was set up right next to the platform of the Justice Building.

Once the music came to a stop, the Panem emblem that was on screen was replaced by the scene of President Ravenstill (who was a frail old man) standing at a podium. Behind him was a tall man with slicked back platinum blonde hair and cold, crystal blue eyes. You couldn't help, but feel a sense of deja vu about the eyes of the Head Gamemaker, Coriolanus Snow.

Everyone in the square was glued to the TV screen as the president introduced himself with, “As you're all aware, the Gamemakers have come up with a way to remember the impact of the war. The Quarter Quell will mark a 25 year period, a milestone of the games, and will have a special theme for the Hunger Games. Head Gamemaker Snow has in his possession an envelope that holds the special theme for this year's first Quarter Quell.”

Turning to the man looming behind him, the president held out his hand for the envelope. Without a word, Head Gamemaker Snow pulled a gold encrusted envelope from his maroon coat pocket and handed it over to the president. President Ravenstill opened the envelope, only to announce, “As a reminder to everyone that it is the rebels fault for the games; for children being reaped, during this first Quarter Quell each District shall hold an election to vote for one male and one female tribute to send to the Capitol as tribute for the games.”

The president took a moment's pause only to end his speech with, “The Capitol has faith that each District shall vote to send their unwanted and rebel citizens to the arena.”

When the president sat down, much to everyone's surprise, Head Gamemaker Snow took the podium. “Don't forget, citizens of Panem, that the Victory Tour for the Victor of the 24th Hunger Games is next week. I hope that all of you, loyal citizens, join in on your district’s festivities and greetings for the victory tour.”

“Fucking pompous peacock asswipe wants us to be festive when the child killer he created gets paraded in our home. Fucking unbelievable.” You heard Corbin Everdeen loudly squawk from his spot a few yards away from you and your family. “Can't wait to see what bloody horrors he comes up with in this year's games considering Snowball’s having us send rebels and undesirables to the kiddie death match arena this go around.”

You were drawn out of your mental reverie down memory lane by a painfully rough timbre asking the question of, “Penny for your thoughts, darling?”

Looking over your shoulder, only to see Coriolanus slumped on the edge of the bed with blood staining the edge of his mouth, you retorted with, “I don't have any thoughts worth your penny.”

Your memory hit you with the hard reality that the man next to you, wheezing and barking with a bloody cough, was the reason behind your reaping. That it's his fault you even went to the games.

If he never gave President Ravenstill that golden envelope with the First Quarter Quell twist in it, then you never would've been reaped. Never would've been voted to be tribute in the Capitol's games.

Your district would've never sent you to die.

The weight of this sudden revelation was too much to bear.

“I can hear you thinking from over here, Y/N. What's the matter, my darling rose?” Coriolanus, the head gamemaker; the man who's the reason you got tossed into the games to fight for your life, asked as he tries to suppress his coughing.

Feeling overwhelmed, you snapped, “Don't call me that anymore. Coriolanus.”

The order took the man next to you off guard. He gave you a look, conveying that he was at a loss on where your sudden change of feelings stemmed from.

“I'm not your darling rose, I'm just the District 12 girl that got sent to die by everyone in her district because of your little twist on the reaping system.” You bitterly spat. Your body started to shake and you couldn't even look at the head gamemaker. “It's just dumb luck that I won. I wasn't supposed to win; nobody from 12 ever wins.”

Coriolanus attempted to confront you, even going as far as grabbing you and dragging you over to him. “Y/N, it's not my fault you got voted to participate in the games. The twist in the rules for the Quarter Quell was meant for the districts to send their troublesome and undesirables to the arena. It was never meant for-”

You pushed him away, which wasn't too hard since he was weak from the poison he ingested hours ago, and cut him off with a loud scream, “They sent me to die because of you!”

Coriolanus hated possessive and obsessive feelings (he won't dare say love, but you've managed to wiggle your way underneath his ribcage into his cold, dead, black heart) because they made him feel things such as hurt, guilt, empathy, etc. He hated feelings because they made him weak.

Right now, watching you have a breakdown because your district voted for you to be a tribute made him feel helpless and, in a way, guilty.

He hated feeling things.

He hates being weak.

He'd rather just feel lust for you coursing through his veins, but that wasn't the case tonight.

“They thought I wouldn't come back and everyone, everyone, back home sent me off to die as if I meant nothing. And they had the power to do it because of a fun new rule change.”

“Y/N…” Coriolanus sighed, scooting over slightly so he could wrap an arm around your shoulders. Pulling you into his chest, which felt like a thousand knives were stabbing it as an adverse effect of the poisoned wine he drank, he told you, “I'm sorry that they picked you to represent that backwater district, but it's not your home.” Using his free hand to tilt your chin up, making your eyes lock onto his, he reminded you, “Your home's here with me, in the Capitol, now. I promise, I won't let you get hurt ever again.”

Feeling another bloody cough threatening to take over him, the platinum blonde weakly shifted the both of you closer to the edge of the bed.

All the while you let out a cry of, “I never bothered anybody and I graduated top of my class. I had an internship at the apothecary, Coriolanus.” Your voice quivered as you wailed, “I never thought that they'd pick me to go die, but they did.”

Seeing you crying your beautiful eyes out over the fact that those dirty scumbags in the coal district sent you to the Capitol with the intention of you dying sent a pang right through his icy, cold, dead heart. It made his chest tighten seeing you so upset over your district choosing you, a very smart girl that's nothing like the other whores of District 12, to be the female tribute.

The platinum blonde man hated seeing you emotional over a bunch of assholes. Assholes that were worth less than the shit on the bottom of a boot. You're his Victor, his darling rose, and he can't have you falling apart over a filthy district full of uneducated hillbillies that mine coal underground all day.

Pulling you closer into his chest, while trying to fight off a bloody coughing fit, Coryo soothingly combed his long fingers through your hair while telling you, “I know, my darling rose. I know, it hurts that they picked you when they shouldn't have.” Pressing a kiss to your hair, he continued his attempts to soothe you. “But you survived despite what those district coal dust covered dogs thought.”

He let out a bloody cough, using his hand to cover his mouth so the blood splatter wouldn't hit you since your head's tucked under his chin; right against his chest.

Coriolanus’ words should've brought you comfort or at least calm you down a fraction, but they didn't. Right now, you feel like nothing could make you feel better.

Nothing, but the answer to the most important question circling your mind.

“Why did they pick me? I never did anything wrong.” You asked, looking up at Coriolanus with tears shining in your eyes.

Seeing tears falling from your eyes, staining your cheeks as you asked him a question he honestly didn't have the answer for gutted him. It made him feel weak and useless.

He hates feeling weak and useless.

Coriolanus made a mental note to ask Smiley, when he calls him up tomorrow to ask him for a favor concerning the acquisition of your apothecary book, to find out all the names of the people that voted for you to get sent into the games as tribute.

Despite what everyone thinks, the voting isn't anonymous. The Peacekeepers have records of who voted for who considering the grunts were the ones keeping track of and tallying the votes.

Anyways, Coriolanus was going to find out who voted for you and make them pay. Nobody makes his darling rose cry her eyes out and gets away with it.

Nobody sends what's his to the slaughter and gets away with it either.

Despite the fact that you weren't even with him at the time of your reaping, the platinum blonde wants to hurt and punish everyone that had a hand in hurting you.

Maybe he should look in the mirror and cuss himself out, since he's the mastermind behind the rules and the arena that caused you pain. But, Coriolanus Snow will never own up to it.

No….

He didn't play a hand in your tribute problems.

No….

It's those damn district drunks and whores that's to blame.

Coriolanus wiped away your tears with the rough pad of his thumb. “I don't know why they picked you, my darling rose.” Shushing you, he said, “You need to calm down, Y/N. You're with me and, remember, we promised to take care of each other; to keep each other safe.”

All you could do was nod your head in his chest and sniffle.

“You belong to me and I belong to you, remember?” Coriolanus asked, reminding you that he could be trusted, as he felt a coughing fit threatened to take over his body.

“Are you sure you want me to be yours, Coryo? I'm damaged goods now; the games changed me. I'm a mess.” You asked, the overwhelming feeling to start crying threatening to take over, as the man holding you let out a series of loud, biting, bloody coughs.

Coryo cleared his throat, feeling blood bubble up and slide down into the pit of his stomach. Not even thinking about wiping off his blood soaked hand, he placed his hand onto your back and began to run soothing circles. The blood stained your oversized sweater, most likely ruining it. But at this moment, blood staining a sweater didn't matter.

The only thing that mattered was calming you down so you'd get some much needed sleep.

Coriolanus’ other hand softly petted your hair as a comforting gesture.

He leaned his head against his pillow, only to assure you, “You're not damaged, Y/N. You're a survivor; a victor.” You were slowly beginning to calm down as his timbre filled the air with, “Life's arena changes all victors, myself included, and the fact that you're strong enough to land on top makes you worthy enough to be mine.”

And you were his, whether you wanted to accept it or not. You'll always belong to him. Nothing could ever change that.

Because once Coriolanus Snow becomes obsessed with somebody, he'll smother them in his hold and never let them go.

You just happened to be the recipient of his obsession. All because when he saw you walk onto the reaping stage in your red floral dress with your hair pulled back in a bow, he felt a primal urge; a raging desire to have you.

It was an instant obsessive love at first sight.

So, if it wasn't for the Quarter Quell twist you might never have become the obsession of the man whose arms you're being comforted in.

Or maybe the gods would've found a way to stick you two together. A way for him to find you, become obsessed with you to the point that he’d kill to have you by his side in the Capitol.

Just because you and Coriolanus don't believe in the gods, fate, or mystics doesn't mean that they don't exist.

Because no matter what, it's you and him now.

You and Coriolanus, and all of your demons.

Tags: @kuroosbby001, @purriteen, @poppyflower-22, @meetmeatyourworst, @whipwhoops, @bxtchopolis, @readingthingsonhere,@savagenctzen, @ryswritingrecord, @erikasurfer, @tulips2715, @universal-s1ut, @thesmutconnoisseur, @squidscottjeans, @sudek4l, @wearemadeofstardust0, @mashiromochi, @gracieroxzy, @belcalis9503, @shari-berri, @aoi-targaryen, @whiteoakoak, @spear-bearing-bi-witch, @gisellesprettylies @loverandqueenofdragons, @qoopeeya, @mfnqueen1, @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @urfavnoirette

[sugar-omi]

Ohhh the newest dad cove post the pregnant mc is so so good,,,,, rip though imagine just how clingy this makes him oh my god. (late riser mc) he’s constantly falling asleep on the couch next to you when it gets later, hand on your back or around your middle whether you’re showing yet or not because he can’t stand the idea of you needing something but not waking him up ‘cause he’s in bed(especially when you have bad “morning” sickness).

or something that absolutely makes my blood pressure absolutely skyrocket is strangers being touchy, (he’d obviously not be like? weird about it like if you want to let family or friends feel the baby kick; he’s honestly just nodding along with the biggest goofy-proud smile like “it’s the coolest thing ever right???”) but if random strangers are getting touchy or pushy because they seem to think pregnant people are free real estate? just this big ass man getting physically between the two of you and completely shutting them down without a word? 1000/10.

also rip mc but I myself am a Cove suprise twins truther and not gonna lie to anyone but unless you are well above average size? rip mc. late second trimester and on is just a mess because like the other post said? all fun and games having a giant husband until giant baby time. man is so conflicted(for a multitude of reasons tbh because if one baby almost being here wasn’t overwhelming enough? two?) because on the one hand there’s almost a twinge of guilt because you’re so sore and tired and sick of having to pee every five seconds, but also, not even a sexual(or maybe just a little) thing but some part of his brain is like you said just? that’s his baby- his babies, like it hits him so much that you are literally carrying his kids that you two made together and you trust him enough to be by your side and be your kids’ dad?? and sometimes he’s looking at you with big wet eyes and wobbly lips while you’re trying to hunt down the current craving and you panic that he’s crying, and when he explains… oh now you’re crying because of hormones being out of wack and he’s too sweet for this.

I LOVE YOU ANON. WE ARE THE SAME. literally sharing all my thoughts rn pls... i love the thought of my mc n cove having 1 kid (thru adoption) and their first pregnancy/baby being twins. just instantly throws them into the boiling pot of parenthood

n omg he's so fucking clingy after you get pregnant. if you're not a hugger, you are now. because he needs to be around you n touching you, he fucking loves you so much and just needs to touch n kiss n hold you

omfg, tries to feel the baby kick or anything like that before it's even possible. instantly starts talking to your baby before they're even supposed to be able to hear

if you're still sleeping, or napping, he'll cuddle up near your stomach and strokes the area, tracing hearts and stars and such, talking about how much he loves you. how great you are. tells funny stories from your shared childhood, tells your baby/babies about their future aunts n uncles n grandparents.

they're gonna be so loved.

n if you wake up in the middle of him doing this, try to stay still and listen because then he goes on about how much he loves the babe/s and how he's gonna take care of them, and you, and he'll protect n love them n he daydreams out loud about all the milestones, all the way up to their weddings which just makes him cry

you might even catch him rambling about how he'll make sure they never feel insecure, or like a burden, or anything like that, especially any feelings or thoughts he had from his childhood.

and yeahh, he'd be so overwhelmed and freaked out if your first pregnancy is TWINS!! he gets anxious. because now there's a double chance of failure. he's just so afraid for your future, and even if you're anxious and afraid too now with the news, he does calm down even if you don't comfort him.

bouncing your anxieties off each other, makes him realize you're both going towards a good path. if you're already worried about X, Y, and Z, then you know you're on the same page, and while parenthood is unpredictable.. your beliefs and wishes for your family are certain

takes a deep breath n just promises you it'll be okay. you'll figure it out. you can worry through parenthood together. and you'll figure it out together.

does call his dad and he talks to cove, helps him with his anxieties, etc.. it helps him relax when cliff says that, while cove was a very happy accident, at least he's prepared unlike he and kyra were. this was something you wanted, prepared for. that all the mental preparation, is the best it'll get and now you have to figure it out together, and that he, kyra, and your moms are here to help you figure it out.

n omg cove feeling bad about you being sore, tired, exhausted from the baby totally rearranging your guts and pressing against your bladder like a meat press.

always offers you massages, foot rubs. and helps you do any maintenance, like helping you shave or doing your names, put on lotion, etc. since your stomach is getting too big to work around

helps you put on your shoes if you need, too. he brings you all the snacks (ends up trying your cravings too. in fact, HE has cravings n now both of you are scrambling for the car and end up sitting in the parking lot eating whatever weird combo one of you thought of)

and you're so right about him finding you attractive when you're pregnant, not necessarily sexual like you said although it has undertones. in fact, since we're talking about it. it's kinda like they're satisfied they made their mark on you LOL

which in that case... cove probably doesn't even realize how.. happy. he is. that whenever you leave the house, people can easily see you have someone at home waiting for you. that you're taken.

literally read an article about men's thoughts on their pregnant wives, and they're so interesting (can't get over the guy saying ["my wife still doesn't believe i found her sexy during her pregnancy. i saw what a baby did to her and it just made me want to fill her with more."])

n their increased attraction all seems to come back to their wife carrying their baby, and their body getting bigger. not even just her boobs and butt, loves how her tummy gets bigger during the pregnancy, loves the stretches marks because it's a sign of the hard work she did carrying their baby

he just loves everything about you. loves your glow, your scent, your whole look.

also like i said before, pregnancy just kinda flipped a primal switch in cove's brain. happens to pretty much every man on the planet. loves when you ask him for help because you're too pregnant to do it. or if you call him "daddy", "papa" or something along those lines, just messing with him (same way guys will call you "mama"), he has to grip the counter n take a minute because omfg... he's a dad. he's your babies dad. even if you don't call him that, has to take a breather if you bring him up like that.

is so fucking ecstatic about you calling him your babies father that he will probably fall on the floor crying n throwing up like. he's insane.

ohhh and he'd just be at your beck and call the further along you get. imagine him with his arm wrapped around your waist or shoulder, just keeping you secure in his grip as you cross the road.

just becomes so much more protective. subtly of course, not overboard like growling n hissing but yknow he keeps you close, keeps an eye out.. etc.

oh and you're so right about him putting himself between you n touchy stranger number 8123901. even if you tell him it's okay, he still checks you out to see if you're uncomfortable.

but lets be real, i can't see many daring to get handsy and pushy with your over 6 foot, somewhere 'round 200lbs, husband next to you. that'd just be stupid.

so don't be afraid to just drag him to the store to be your shield LOL

still, even though he relaxes a bit as your pregnancy progresses and to strangers, he seems pretty relaxed and cool n all that. does go home with you and can't help but cry because you look so cute, and your family is increasing, n it's just all so much. he's a big baby still

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

I visited the WGA library to read Yellowjackets scripts and wanted to share some of my findings! (Pt. 1)

So as some of you may know, scripts for the latter half of Yellowjackets Season 1 have already been released to the public (you can find 1x05-1x10 here: https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1FctrMniXqWRFJOe-rX6dSgvmXEO2KyLE?usp=share_link) and the Pilot script is pretty easily accessible on the internet if you look it up.

However, I have never been able to find the scripts for the rest of S1. An old draft of 1x04 can be found on Script Slug but A LOT has been changed from this script to the final product (Van is dead, Nat actually killed her dad, Javi is called Cody?!). It’s an interesting read for sure but it seems the actual final script of “Bear Down,” along with “F Sharp” and “Dollhouse,” are not accessible on the internet. So I headed over to the WGA Library and checked out those three scripts to read! It was super interesting (highly recommend going if you’re in the LA area!). I was not able to get any pictures of the scripts due to the Library policy, but I took lots of notes and saved some of my favorite lines!

I’m going to start with 1x02 and make two separate posts of 1x03 and 1x04 because otherwise this post would be way too long!

1x02 “F Sharp”

•The episode starts with Misty’s POV of the crash, and there’s this line that I love:

“Across from her, Lottie reaches forward to desperately clutch Laura Lee’s hand in the aisle. Their shared terror making it all the more clear that, in this moment, Misty is all alone.”

This shows Misty’s longing for companionship and affection. Even in what she thinks might be her last moments, she is utterly alone. I think this moment is part of what tips her over the edge into obsession in her relationships with Coach Ben, Crystal, and Natalie.

•In the final product, we don’t really see what Nat’s POV of the plane crash is (other than her nightmare in 1x03 but I’m not sure if that actually happened or not?) but in the script she gets knocked unconscious and buried under a bunch of luggage and equipment and the other girls have to dig her out.

•Misty and Taissa are the ones to pry the exit door open for everyone to escape.

•Jackie doesn’t even try to save Van in the script, she just immediately runs over and tries to drag Shauna away from Van from the get-go.

“Jackie runs after Shauna and starts clawing at her, trying to get her to move toward the exit.”

•After Shauna and Jackie make it outside the wreckage, Jackie and Shauna “begin fighting angrily in the dirt, Jackie clearly still desperately afraid to remain so close to the fiery wreckage” as Shauna tries to go back in for Van.

•And I just thought this descriptor was a cute little addition; after Misty chops off Coach Ben’s leg, we get this line:

“And as we realize this little show called ‘Yellowjackets’ is sick, unexpected and awesome, we smash cut to—

MAIN TITLE”

•“Laura Lee trying in vain to hold and comfort a struggling, hyperventalating Javi.”

A nice little moment of Laura Lee comforting Javi as he’s trying to find his dad.

•”Jackie: For the record, I was trying to save you. I thought…

I was going to lose you. Jackie bites her lip, a little teary. Shauna glances at her and nods, I know—but we also get the sense that Van isn’t the only one judging Jackie right now.”

A little Jackie/Shauna moment. You can see how much Jackie loves Shauna, but Shauna is still conflicted over Jackie’s choice to leave Van behind.

•Some things Caligula says when Natalie breaks into Misty’s house:

“Hello, pretty lady!”

“Hells bells! My dogs are barking!”

Love this.

•The information Misty has in her secret file: articles and magazine covers about the crash, press clippings, a local wedding announcement for Shauna and Jeff, Taissa’s campaign flyer, and a brochure for Natalie’s rehab clinic.

•When Nat asks Misty why she has all of this information, Misty says:

“You guys are the most important people in my life.”

Just another reminder that Misty’s whole existence revolves around the Yellowjackets, even after 25 years.

•Nat is hyper focused on looking at Travis’s drivers license in the bar scene when Kevyn walks up to her. She totally ignores Kevyn, just focused on Travis’ picture. She is described as looking “pale” and “like she’s seen a ghost.” Just shows how hung up Nat is on Travis and how much that relationship fucked her up.

•Misty says “Holy macaroni” when she sees Coach Martinez’s body. Insane.

•Okay brace yourselves for this one guys, in the script Coach Martinez is STILL ALIVE when they find him impaled on the tree.

“The coach’s eyes pop open. He suddenly grabs Travis. Eyes wild with pain and fear, the coach tries to speak but only makes raspy sounds as blood bubbles at his lips.”

“Travis: Dad! Let go!”

Travis’s dad won’t let go and there’s a scene where Travis is trying to claw him off of him, then the tree branch cracks and Travis shakes his dad off of his arm, “knows it’s his dad or the both of them” and the tree branch falls.

Wow. As if the scene that ended up making it in the final product wasn’t traumatic enough, Travis has to actively let his dad fall to his death when he’s still alive and desperately clinging to him? Ouch. I’m glad they cut that scene honestly poor Travis.

•Shauna is holding Javi and comforting him during and after this scene.

“We see Shauna still comforting Javi, we can’t hear what she’s saying but her body language is very giving—a maternal streak she didn’t know she had.”

Love the nod to Shauna’s maternal nature here. She’s naturally very nurturing and caring, but after she loses her baby she becomes more cold and distant with her other child, Callie, in fear that she will lose her too. I just love seeing the before and after here, we get to see what Shauna was like before all of the trauma. Shauna wants to nurture Callie, it’s a natural part of her personality as this scene with Javi shows, but she can’t get too attached after what happened in the Wilderness.

•In the adult timeline, there’s another deleted scene in which Nat drives to Shauna’s house and spies on her from outside.

“She seems to be fighting an impulse to get out of her car, but her feelings are unclear. Does she look uneasy? Vindictive?”

Another hint the conflict between these two that we still haven’t seen yet? Maybe this is lingering resentment from Shauna challenging Nat’s leadership as the new Antler Queen?

•When Nat hands Travis her flask to drink from after the whole Coach Martinez incident, there’s this line:

“She wants to tell him there is nothing he could have done. How guilt like this is poison, and if he’s going to blame himself she will punch him in the face”

I think this is clearly a nod to Nat’s own guilt around her father’s death. She knows that Travis is likely tearing himself apart inside because she did the same thing after her father’s death. She blamed herself, as Travis is doing now. Also love the punching him in the face line, it’s very on-brand for Nat and honestly wish she had punched him in the face a few times when he deserved it.

*1x03 and 1x04 notes to come!*

[kuroosdarling]

best friend

♡‧₊˚ kuroo x reader

♡‧₊˚ wc: 1.6k

♡‧₊˚ cw: none :)

♡‧₊˚ synopsis: kuroos exhausted and curling up next to you after a long week seems like the most perfect night. aka domestic bliss with tetsu and taking in the small, meaningful moments <3

a/n: thank you for all the love n support with this series yall. it means sm to me that you’re enjoying these lil fics hehe almost at the end !! don’t hate me but i rlly didn’t know how to end this fic pls !! just wanted summ cute :’) enjoy !!

dear tetsu ♡

marriage was something that kuroo never thought was going to be in the cards for him. he figured that he’d never get to a point in life where he could open himself up to someone like that, to completely surrender his heart. to fully trust someone to lean on and know they’d never leave you. all his life he had actively avoided it. it wasn’t that he didn’t want it – it was the opposite. he wanted it so badly it had scared him from even trying to go after it.

he saw what a marriage could do to someone – to two people who were “in love”. watching his parents' marriage dismantle before his very eyes at such a young age took a toll. the thought of being destined to be with someone forever had been shattered the day his mother left, taking his sister with her. so yeah, it scared him. 

but you were just too stubborn.

falling in love with you never felt like he was falling, more like the two of you were coming together and creating something he thought he’d never be able to have. being friends first definitely helped but even when he felt his heartstrings tug a little too harshly anytime he was too close to you and felt the itch to bolt, you had managed to soothe them. comfort him so he wasn’t so afraid. he wanted to be there for you, wanted to be the guy he dreamed of being when he was little. that broken view of marriage slowly pieced itself back together the more you pushed past his walls and accepted him into your heart. 

and marrying you? the greatest day of his life. sure marriage wasn’t always a walk in the park, but with you, he would do anything to make it work. luckily, you felt the same exact way. 

lately, things have been tough for him. every morning he’d go to work and constantly get slammed with more tasks, more deadlines he needed to meet. frustration bit at him as he tried to carry on, keeping the well-placed smirk on his face to avoid any unnecessary conflict. his boss could be a real ass sometimes and he didn’t want to deal with more than he had to.

every day this week he had come home late, taken a shower, eaten whatever delicious meal you made, and laid down in bed. he missed you. and he knew you missed him but you didn’t fight him or call him out on his absence. instead, you were being so patient for him, so understanding and supportive. the thought almost brought tears to his eyes. all he wanted to be was the perfect husband, but work had placed too much on his shoulders for him to properly be there for you. 

guilt was gnawing at him more and more each day. he was so tired he could feel it in his bones, the heaviness pushing down on him with each step he made back home. all he wanted to do was curl up and sleep next to you, no matter what. he’s been tired of missing out on his precious moments with you and tried to push through his tiredness. to hold you close and be wrapped up in your love was more than he could ask for.

even though his day was cruddy, being greeted by you at the door had instantly lifted his spirits. the way you curl into him, holding him close. it takes everything in him not to completely slump onto you, folding into your warm embrace. so he settles for resting his cheek against your head, enveloping his arms around you and breathing you in. your presence always felt like home and coming back to it after a long day was the perfect remedy for settling his frayed emotions.

“long day?” you asked, rubbing circles along his back as he refused to let go. he could smell the food cooking in the kitchen – the all too familiar smell of his favorite mackerel being cooked had his heart swelling with love. he was so lucky.

so lucky to be loved by someone as thoughtful as you. never in a million years did he dream of finding someone that he would be comfortable enough to let them take care of him, but here he is, leaning onto you – literally.

“you have no idea.” he breathes, pulling back to get a proper look at you. you look so beautiful, so sweet. he didn’t even need to think as his body was so drawn to you, dipping down to press a soft kiss against your lips and lingering just long enough for the butterflies to flutter around his stomach. he pulls back with a smile, loosening his tie. “that what i think it is?”

“yup, made your favorite.” you beam up at him. he couldn’t help but reach down to plant another kiss.

“you’re the best, you know that?” pinching your cheek before offering a sweet kiss onto your forehead.

“duh. why else would you have married me?”

“ya got me there.” he laughs as he makes his way into the bedroom while you went back to finish cooking dinner. it only took him a minute to change into something comfier. 

he stood in the doorway to the kitchen, his tall frame leaning against the archway, admiring the view – watching as you tend to his favorite meal with so much care. again, how did he get so lucky?

he takes a few long steps and wraps his arms around you, tucking you in closer to him from behind. his warmth surrounds yours, soaking up as much as he can. 

“tetsu-“ you start as he nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet perfume. he couldn’t help himself. it feels like it’s the first time he’s really held you in weeks. even if it was only 5 days.

“what?” he mumbles against your skin, a small smile stretching across his face.

“i’m cooking.” 

“’m helping.” his head raises up so he can smirk down at you. even though you can’t see him, you feel it there.

“oh really? is that what we’re calling it now?” he doesn’t offer a response but he laughs, the harsh sound tickling your ear. besides, you knew him well enough by now that all he wanted was to be in your presence so you decide against teasing him — for now.

it was welcomed though, seeing the smile on his face filled you with warmth, your own little ray of sunshine in your very own kitchen. even on his hardest days, he always manages to shine through. but it was hard not to when he had his own personal source of sunshine himself, your energy always soothing him. he wishes he could bottle it up and take it to work everyday. 

dinner goes by smoothly as you and kuroo catch each other up on the week you had. all the stress, all the headaches. he manages to crack a few jokes, trying to make light of the otherwise stressful situation. part of him feels bad because he sounds like a broken record but the other part feels good. good because he knows he could tell you anything and you’d never judge him, never think any less of him. 

even though it was only 8pm, all kuroo wanted to do was sleep. he knew it was friday and normally the two of you would go out on a date but as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t muster the energy.

so he settles for the next best thing: his head in your lap as you run your fingers through his hair. anytime you stopped to pick up the controller again, he couldn’t help but pout, rubbing his head up against yours hands anyway. his long legs stretch out and dangle off the end of the couch but he has never felt more comfortable. he was watching you play some new game that he had heard you and kenma talk about lately. 

nothing beat this. half of the time he wasn’t even watching the game, he was too caught up in watching you and your reaction. every so often, he could make out kenmas voice humming through the headphones, trying to give direction to your squadmates. it was even cuter when you’d join in, anger quickly washing over your features as your squadmates were obviously ignoring kenma. every scrunch of your nose followed by the dainty crinkle by your smiling eyes were far more interesting than whatever was happening on the screen.

“you’re my best friend, you know that?” he murmurs, slightly delirious from lack of sleep. he pokes at you to get your full attention, his finger sliding down your arm before he places it back on his chest. he hears the game music abruptly stop as you place the controller down to run your fingers through his hair once again.

“yeah?” you smile. you guys have been married for years but you still get butterflies every time he expresses how much you mean to him. especially when he was like this, sleepy with his voice being a few octaves deeper. nothing but adoration shines through his eyes as he looks up at you.

“yeah.” he smiles, fluttering his eyes closed as he surrenders under your touch. your fingers carded through his hair, messing it up further. his eyes bolt open as he jolts, “don’t tell kenma though. he doesn’t need to know i picked a favorite.”

“well, lets just hope he didn’t hear that then.” you can’t help but laugh at his seriousness. the lack of sleep has fully gotten to him and even though it was still way too early, you decide to say goodbye to kenma and turn off the game in favor of watching one of Kuroo’s favorite movies.

about 20 minutes in, you could hear his soft snores fill the room as he laid on your chest, fully content. old habits die hard and he couldn’t help but weasel his head against your chest.

being around you always fueled him up, recharged his strength so he could face each day with newfound strength. strength to be better for not only himself, but for you. someone you could be proud of, someone you could love endlessly.

[crimeronan]

a lot of the discourse around likes versus reblogs seems profoundly sideways to me in that 1) telling people that liking things is Bad and that they're Bad to do it will not make them reblog stuff. it will make them stop liking posts. and then you will get absolutely no user engagement, and 2) i feel like there is a fundamental misunderstanding of why people don't reblog posts.

this isn't some kind of well-constructed thesis that i can apply to the entire userbase but most people that i've met who don't reblog stuff..... just.... don't want to perform.

curating your public blog for other people's eyes is a performance, whether you tag ramble or not. choosing what content to boost and what content to keep and what content to ignore requires active thought and refinement of that performance. and the performative nature of social media is especially terrifying these days, when posting or reblogging the Wrong Thing can often invite ire or misinterpretation or mockery based on things you never said or meant. that's why there was a time period like five years back when i didn't post on this blog at all for like a full year. too much anxiety surrounding the Concept of Conflict. the mere Potential that i might upset/harm/anger some hypothetical strawman

unfortunately writing "the website will die if you don't reblog, and likes make artists feel bad" doesn't encourage people to reblog. it makes them associate both liking AND reblogging posts with being subject to a stressful set of pre-determined rules that they don't fully understand and will unknowingly violate. so they stop engaging altogether. this is especially common with neurodivergent people who do not do well with sets of seemingly-arbitrary rules!

the truth is that if you want people to reblog stuff, there needs to be a site culture in which they feel comfortable doing so. which means that they need to be confident that their posts and thoughts are not only worth sharing, but also will be taken in good faith. there have been some very good posts to this end! shifting the expectation of Maintaining A Blog & explaining how tumblr blogs are more like corkboards in a dorm room than like megaphones.

but the frustrated and dire-toned posts about Killing The Website are. not helping. content creators are of course entitled to frustration! and entitled to express it however they want! but i'm afraid that mass-sharing these angry posts like they're somehow helpful guides is.... doing the opposite of what people want. like it just instills a new level of anxiety and negativity toward Any engagement

imo with this, as with pretty much any other situation where you want to change people's minds about something, the most effective work is going to involve a lot of patience and kindness and swallowed annoyance and expended energy. not everyone has the bandwidth for this (i certainly don't, at least not consistently) and being openly frustrated and angry and unhappy is much, Much easier. it just. also..... doesn't work for the results you want.

[dear--mars]

Bloodthirsty

── Synopsis: "The sun gave earth the most light but the earth is slowly destroying itself." Childe wasn't made for love and he knew this. So why does he keep trying? And why do you keep letting him try? Opening your arms for him to fall into even after everything, showing him such warmth that he thought he could only get from the sun.

── Character: Childe/Tartagliaa/Ajax

── CW: Toixc relationships, fighting, taking it too far.

── Notes: This is my 2nd and LAST birthday post. Enjoy the angst. [angst/slight comfort]

── Word count: 800+ words

Ever since he fell into the abyss, the euphoric feeling and the adrenaline that fighting gave him was one of a kind. As friendly as he seemed to outside people, he couldn’t care less about anyone other than his immediate family. 

He didn’t feel the need to connect with others, they would only get in the way. They don’t get him the way fighting does. Fighting doesn’t need to be logical, it didn’t have feelings he pretended to care about. In the world he was living in, he only needed himself and his own two fists. 

Being one of the Fatui harbingers didn’t help him either. If anything it made him worse. Childe became a slave to the adrenaline and the Tsaritsa took advantage of it, using him as a killing machine. 

But Childe never batted an eye, he knew that the Fatui was using him but it didn’t matter to him. He couldn’t be happier to be fighting and with his position as a harbinger, he gets paid an absurd amount of money for doing something he loves doing. Not to mention he’s able to support his family as an extra bonus.

He’s a family man but at his core, he's no better than a bloodthirsty dog. Someone like him is destined for violence, driven by anger, as he treats the world as if it’s only for conflict.

So what happens when he meets someone with the same kind of bite?

Your relationship with Childe was doomed to fail the moment it started. Both of you were too competitive, wanting to win everything, and treating everything like a competition. 

It was harmless at first. After a defeat, one of you would give a joking glare or side-eye before laughing it off and you’d be in each other’s arms at the end of the day, still madly in love. 

But as his work days get longer and your love fades, your competitions turns into more than just a lover’s quarrel or friendly banter. The two of you can't remember the last time you laughed together. Only screaming, yelling, and genuine arguing. But one day, he crossed a line he could never go back on.

“Well, at least, I didn’t try to kill myself over a minor inconvenience!” He yelled and the room stilled and Childe knew whatever happened after this day, your relationship would never go back to what it was before. 

You stayed silent, only able to hear the sound of your own voice. You bit your lip as anger took over you and you too, crossed the line. “At least I didn't run away from home because I was bored and fall into the abyss as a child and almost die!”

“You’re going there?!”

“Yeah, I am. What are you gonna do!?”

“Big talk coming from someone who almost got sexually assaulted and needed me to save them!”

“You bitch…. I don’t want to hear anything from the Tsaritsa’s lapdog!”

“I enjoy being in the Fatui!”

“I’m sure you do but your family doesn’t. I know you can see it. The way your parents and older siblings look at you, they're afraid of you. Because you're a monster. How are you going to feel when Tonia, Teucer, and Anthon find out who you really are?”

“Don’t spout any bullshit about family to me, when you killed yours with your own hands.”

“That wasn’t me! I was possessed!”

“It doesn’t matter, it was still your body, your hands that killed them. So who’s the real monster?”

“Still you! Can you even call yourself human with that foul legacy transformation of yours? You are the antithesis of what it means to be a human.”

“You know what? I’m with this!”

“Yeah, run away like you always do.”

“No, [Name] I'm serious I'm done with this.”

“So you’re breaking up with me?”

“For a fact, I am!”

“Then just leave!” was the last thing uttered before Childe slammed his hands on the table before storming out of the house. You sighed before running your hand through your hair. You knew he’d be back in a couple of days. This was a routine for you two but now you were doubting if you guys could go back and pretend that nothing happened.

It had been over 5 days and Childe still didn’t come home and you started to think that it was truly the end of your relationship. But you heard the door open, your head shot toward the sound of the door slamming shut. You saw Childe walk in, he looked a bit disheveled, there were clear eye bags and his hair was even more of a mess than it usually was.

We had eye contact and you bit back your usual questions, asking where he was and such. You saw Childe’s shoulder sag a bit before he walked up to you. Your eyes widened when he flopped onto the couch, his head in your lap. It was clear he wasn’t able to get much sleep. 

You let out a sigh before running your fingers through his hair, comforting him. You felt Childe melt at your touch, letting out a small groan as he nuzzled into your lap even further. 

That argument was never brought up ever again…

- Navigation -   - Prismarine -

[artful-aries]

Hiii again :D how are you doing? ,-, i hope you're doing well!!!!

My school finally ended and im free- so i was wondering if i can request for some hcs if your okay with it :>

Ive been having this idea for awhile now so, how about Xiao, Zhongli and Cyno with a s/o who avoids conflict? Like, whenever a conversation is slowly heading towards an argument they'll try to end it quickly and whenever a fight is going on they suddenly go quiet due to past traumas

Its up to you whether you wanna write it or not, but make sure to not overwork yourself and thanks for your time :] <3

I’m glad you’re out on break!! I have unfortunately been working my ass off for a promotion that should be finalized in the oncoming weeks, so needless to say I’ve been busy. At any rate, I hope you enjoy! This could be read as platonic if you squint

How They Are With An Argument Avoidant S/O (Xiao, Zhongli, Cyno)

Xiao

If you end an argument before it starts, it will actually take Xiao a little while before he notices the behavior. He thinks that you just finally understand his point and agree with him, rather than just saying whatever will stop the argument from escalating

Socializing isn’t his forte, so picking up on human social cues is quite a task for him. He can tell you’re nervous, that much is obvious by the way your breathing picks up, the way your eyes can’t seem to stay on him for too long, and your heart will be beating slightly harder. He knows this, yet he’s not sure exactly why, and can’t connect the dots. You’ve been nervous around him before and told him it was just because of your attraction to him, so when he notices these things he thinks it’s the same as what you told him before

It’s not until the day you aren’t quick enough to end the argument, when his tone gets sharper with you and you go silent that he discovers the issue in the first place

Even though Xiao knows something is wrong, he has the misfortune of not knowing how to be tactful about it. He will likely just bluntly ask you why you’re quiet, his tone neither gentle or comforting

Obviously, this makes the situation worse, and he’s confused as to why you seem to clam up even more, or in the event that he actually makes you cry, he’s extremely shocked

He’ll stay still as a statue, staring you down like his life depended on it as he tries to think about what he knows of humans to explain why you’re suddenly behaving this way. The fact that he can’t figure it out stresses him, which inadvertently makes him glare at you

If you keep trying to brush this aside and act like everything is fine Xiao will get very irritated with you. Why are you lying to him, and to his face no less?

At the sight of your tears he will do one of two things; either he will leave immediately, or will straight up ask you if you’re afraid of him. Most of the time he will go with the first option, as he often sees himself as some tainted beast with his karmic debt, but under the right circumstances he will feel the compulsion to ask, even though he’s afraid of how you might answer

If you say that you’re scared of him it’ll break his heart, and he will remain stony faced as he simply nods and leaves. If you reassure him that you aren’t scared of him, he will be very relieved, but won’t show it other than a slight tension leaving his shoulders

Xiao isn’t going to dig in much further on your feelings unless you volunteer the information, but he will try to find a way to get you to relax, whether that’s awkwardly asking if you want to share almond tofu with him, or giving you a slightly hard pat to your head to give you comfort

He might not completely understand your reaction, but he does have enough sense to connect the dots and tries not to raise his voice or sound too mean during arguments. Xiao isn’t always successful, but the attempt is there

Zhongli

After millennia of watching humans, the former Archon is pretty observant when it comes to reading subtle emotions and changes in demeanor of people, and you are certainly no exception

With the first few arguments that you go out of your way to deescalate, Zhongli will quietly let you do so, but don’t think for a second that he doesn’t know what you’re doing.

He wants to give you the chance to work your way out of this habit on your own. Humans are capable of so much growth and change in such a short amount of time, and he doesn’t want to feel like he is meddling with that. To him, it’s preferable that you come into your own and develop beyond this habit you have clung to for who knows how long

As long as the arguments aren’t serious, he will continue to let you fall back into your habit, waiting on you to feel comfortable enough to have a normal disagreement with him rather than backing down at the first sign of conflict. It’s only when he feels very strongly about the discussion that he’s trying to have with you that he will confront you on your behavior

Even when arguing he’s never been one to raise his voice or seem threatening, but when you once again try to take the easy way out he will fix you with a stern gaze and ask you why you always seem to shy away from tough discussions with him

If his intensity seems to intimidate you, he’ll softly sigh and ask you to join him for tea, but if it gets you to open up about why you don’t like arguing his expression will soften, and he will pull you into a hug if you’ll let him

Whichever route is taken, he is sure to reiterate that you are completely safe with him, and that no harm will come to you so long as he is alive. Zhongli isn’t naive enough to think that this will solve the problem, but he knows you need to hear it nonetheless

Be prepared to be sat down for a long, extensive talk with him. He’ll make sure it doesn’t sound like he is lecturing you, but it’s important to him that you feel comfortable in this relationship to argue with him. As he will so eloquently put it, “What is a canyon without the river to erode it?”

Zhongli desperately wants you to see arguments as something as inevitable yet mundane as a rolling thunderstorm, and not something cataclysmic like a typhoon. They are a natural part of interpersonal relationships, and he doesn’t want you to fear that form of intimacy with him

He will be one to effectively communicate and help you overcome your aversion to more tense discussions, gently getting you out of your comfort zone until one day you find yourself not feeling dizzy at the sight of his brows that are furrowed at you, you don’t feel ill when Zhongli frowns disapprovingly at what you said. Before you had even realized it, arguing with him just felt like arguing with an extension of yourself

He won’t say anything when he sees how much you’ve changed, but when he watches you argue with him there’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there before. He’s proud of you.

Cyno

He’s one who is aware of how he could come across before he even knows of your aversion to arguments. Despite how serious he gets with work, he always does his best to not take that energy home with him, but some of that is bound to bleed over eventually

He might write off your dismissive, avoidant behavior the first time, but come the second time when you once again keep your head down and just mumble words of appeasement he will not have it

Cyno will cross his arms across his chest, and flatly ask why you seem to just be agreeing with whatever he says like he’s your boss. He loathes the thought of you behaving like everyone else in the Akademiya. He wants to just be Cyno to you, not the General Mahamatra

When his sternness seems to put you more on edge, he will attempt to make a pun about whatever it was that you were arguing about in an attempt to get you to at least relax a little. If it works, he will be relieved and ask you to not be afraid of sharing your thoughts even if they oppose his own

If making a joke seems like poor timing or if it doesn’t get a smile or laugh out of you, Cyno will frown a little and study you intently, trying to figure out how to approach this sensitive subject. In the end, he’ll settle on asking you if you want him to leave you alone for a while or if you want to have a discussion

Even if it hurts his feelings a little to leave you alone, he won’t show it as he’ll give a silent nod and stay out of your way for a couple of hours before checking back in on you. Though he would prefer to discuss things immediately, he loves you too much to push you

When it comes time to sit down and talk with you, only one question burns in his mind: Why did you seem to be scared of him? Regardless of what you tell him, he will listen without interjection, and will make sure to keep any emotions under control while you express your feelings

Whether it is his fault or not, Cyno can’t help but feel guilty. Perhaps if he didn’t come across so seriously most of the time, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt this way about arguing with him. He’s not one to dwell on his regrets, and will immediately ask what he can do to make things better for you

Your wish is his command, and whatever you suggest Cyno will make sure he fulfills it the next time you two have an argument. The last thing he wants is to instill fear into you, and will do absolutely anything to keep you from feeling uncomfortable or afraid

[karizard-ao3]

Sex and sexuality is a prevalent theme in NGE, and especially in EoE. What are your thoughts about this?

I've been sitting on this one (and therefore the other asks in my inbox because I like to do them in order) for a few days to see if I could come up with a nice, coherent answer, but, as always, I can't so I must ramble instead.

One of the things I appreciate about the way sex/ sexuality is addressed in NGE/EoE is how messily and amorally it is portrayed, because I feel like that's very realistic. Clearly, it is important to apply morality to sex in practice (like, getting consent, respecting the sexual boundaries of your relationship(s), etc), but internally it's all a sloppy grey area, and sometimes people are going to do questionable things in moments of weakness (ex. try to hook up with an ex's bff who you don't even get along with because you're drunk and still upset about the breakup). And we see that a lot in Evangelion, as well as the characters' conflicting feelings about it.

For instance, Misato. Do I actually think she was attracted to Shinji? No. I think she cared about him very much as a guardian, but when she didn't know how to comfort him/ encourage him, she turned to offering sex. I read someone saying that she sees sex as a source of comfort due to sleeping with Kaji as a way to get over her father's death, which could be true, but I'm not sure that seems quite right to me. I believe she uses it as a tool in some ways. As an escape in others. And as a way to manufacture emotional connectedness in other instances. Sometimes all at once. And we see that she feels conflicted about it as well, because she's not sure if she loves Kaji or is using him. Then, Queen Daddy issues saw her ward in a bad spot and, with everything going to shit around them, she tries to use sex as a tool to motivate Shinji and also show him that she cares about him (even though it was so incredibly inappropriate 😭). Anyway, for Misato, sex is the cure to the hedgehog's dilemma, I suppose!

And then there's Shinji. The only time he seems able to make any kind of advance towards Asuka is when she is asleep, which I do not think is a sign that he is a predator but more an indicator of how deeply pervasive his inability to open himself up to other people is. It is *symbolic*. It's not okay what he did, but I think we are supposed to see it as a symptom of his own self loathing, and that he wants to reach out and touch people but is too afraid to make the move when they are able to perceive him doing it. Shinji masturbating to Asuka's exposed body at the hospital was obviously wrong, but it also seems like the summary of his relationship with her and the version of himself that exists through her. I'm trying to think how to describe it. i've written and deleted so many things. I don't know. Ugh. When she cannot see him, he can finally reveal how desperate he is for her to be with him. She is the one he seeks out when everything goes to shit, although if she were awake, I don't think he could have been so honest about how much he needed her. But she's in a coma so he is free to beg her to wake up, then, when her robe falls open... you know. It's like he's carrying out his half of a relationship in a bubble, without every offering her the chance to join him. And he hates himself for it, just like he hates himself for what he did in her hospital room. He knows masturbating to her unconscious body was wrong. He knows she is more than just jackoff fuel. He know she deserves to actually be held and loved. But he is immobilized by his fear of rejection and how others see him (and also so unbelievably horny because he's a teenage boy). The kiss between him and Asuka is really unfortunate because if either of them had just given the other any kind of indication that it was special to them in any way, I think things would have gone a lot differently. Shinji believes Asuka was just doing it because she was bored and mad about Kaji being out with Misato (right? Am I remembering the circumstances right?), and then, because Shinji just stood there, Asuka believes that Shinji only let her kiss him because she grabbed his nose and forced him, and not because of any affection for her. They were both too afraid to be honest. Maybe if Asuka had been more patient, Shinji would have closed the space and kissed her. Maybe if Shinji had held her, she wouldn't have run away after, screaming about it being a mistake. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten to the point where the hospital scene played out the way it did.

Which brings me to Asuka, who is the last one I will talk about because I think these three are the ones with the more convoluted attitudes towards sex and also this is already getting long. I think Asuka was really profoundly affected by her father finding and hooking up with another woman while her mother was ill (her mother's doctor, no less). I think it gave her the belief that a woman who is able to provide sex is a woman who will receive loyalty and love. She throws herself at Kaji, an adult who she feels safe with and wants the approval of, because, to her, that is the way to secure his affection. When we first meet her, she shows off how big her boobs got. Could that not be her way of announcing that she is lovable? But Kar, you might say, she freaks out about boys looking at her panties and things. To which I say: Yeah. She's 14. She's putting on a show, just like in everything else she does, trying to prove to everyone that she is worthwhile. Look how artlessly she comes on to both Shinji and Kaji. She wants to be seen as sexy and desirable because to her that's a means to an end, which is making sure people have a reason to want her around and notice her. What she really wants to be cherished. If Shinji had been able to show her that he reciprocated her interest/attraction, then I think there would have been a natural progression in their physical relationship. In closing, Asuka exists in a perpetual state of conflict because she demands love in whatever way she thinks the can obtain it, but she does not actually know what the love she needs looks like. I think if someone simply hugged her and stroked her hair and told her how brave she's been, she would sob for a day and a night.

Whew. And, of course, my thoughts might change after I finish my rewatch and eventually get my hands on the rebuild movies and rewatch in the future, but that's where I am on the subject right now. And I didn't even address Shinji and Kaworu. But, I think that whole thing is pretty straightforward. Kaworu pretty much ignores all of Shinji's reservations and showers him in praise and affection and Shinji goes all heart eyes because it's the first time he's felt wanted and he's bi.

[sailorspica]

what do you think is Kenny's fatal character flaw?

to me it always seems reductive to attribute his failings to violence on itself and not something more rooted, to me what debilitates him more than anything is cowardice. But again, what do you think?

we're on the exact same page about violence for this universe because the whole damn point of the uprising arc and kenny's entire appearance in it, imo, is a prelude to paradis' re-entry into international conflict. measuring any of these characters based on quantitative on-page violence is so goddamn naive, but that's a tangent for my defense of gabi braun

kenny himself identifies too closely with violence as "the only tool he had," and it's silly to take his snk 69 narration as reliable/his sense of self as clear. cowardice is a great word and i think the ultimate truth of it all, but another excuse he might make is he focused too hard on uri, and later his "grand dream." another lie he tells himself could be: he's a u-haul lesbian. he fell so hard and so fast that it didn't even occur to him he was failing kuchel. kuchel and levi are like succulents or sourdough starter he forgot about

because really! if he's employed as uri's pretty much 24/7 bodyguard (the irishman dir martin scorsese), then yeah, he doesn't have time to be "some kid's dad." but childcare? you're basically aristocracy again, how you sit on the council, surely there's governesses looking after noble children. or if you want to reinstate the ackermans as a warrior house bound to the crown, levi could have grown up like, frieda reiss' gay older cousin. there were options

besides stifling his own guilt about levi (or guilt toward kuchel), i think he actually... does care about his squad, but realizes it too late, when the caves are fucking falling in! his "everyone's drunk on something" monologue shows traute and the rest of his squad on the panel for "dreams." in the tavern, he tells levi he'll kill anyone to get to his goals, but i think he was, again, too focused on the founding titan to consider this massive squad of what, 30 people? probably because they're supposed to be elite, seasoned MPs, they know what they're getting into, etc. but in this respect, he's kind of like eruri as one: trying to do the erwin thing of "calculated risks" and convincing people to die for his cause with sheer charisma and rhetoric, only to realize just before death he's too soft for that shit. (but i don't think he'd go on levi-style family condolences tour for his squad because he is a coward.) i've compared him to erwin before: he has no real idea of what he would do with the founder if he had it. he just wanted the view from up there, like erwin had no dreams for a future past the basement

i'm not entirely comfortable making this metaphor but his death speech sets it up: kenny is drunk on something more elusive than power. it could be uri, for whom his euphemism is "a grand dream" (jesus christ). i don't think what matters as much as just how plain destructive habit or addiction is, and how disinterested (or afraid) he is to consider another way of living, like rod's "fuck off now" line about finding something else to do. his pattern has been: kill as many MPs as possible for a grudge he doesn't actually care about (where is his sister? dunno); then stay glued to this dying man's side (where is his nephew? who cares); then pursue the founder (he could kill his nephew and several teenagers in the process? who cares). his yapping at levi about hobbies is way more revealing to Me about his character, while the drunkenness monologue is more of a series thesis statement

[smuttyfang]

Akira, Curiosity

"The s/o has a very religious family, so after finding out Akira is a devilman the reader gets really scared and cautious but at the same time really curious and wants to know more about his devilman form and how the whole devilman thing works - v - You don't have to though, and thank you! ^^"

Words: 787

The sunset was always so beautiful reflecting off the water. The boardwalk was your favorite place to go after church. You found the water more relaxing than church somehow, and it made you feel conflicted. Wasn't the church supposed to be the most calming thing in your life? As you questioned yourself and your beliefs, you came closer to the boardwalk. As you approached, you noticed someone else sitting by the water. He looked familiar.. Looking on for a minute, you realized it was Akira. You went to school with him. Everyone had noticed the sudden change in his appearance, it was all anyone talked about, especially all the girls. There was a rumor that he had made a 'deal with the devil' of a sort and that was the origin of why he seemed so different. Despite being a little bit afraid, you felt your curiosity getting the better of you. Walking down toward the end of the boardwalk where he was sitting, he heard you from behind him and turned his head around to look at you.

"Oh, hey.." He said, giving you a slight smile. "We go to school together, right? I've seen you around before." He scooted over, patting the wood beside of him. How was he this nice if he had supposedly been making deals with devils? It didn't make any sense to you. You walked close to him, sitting down. You took off your shoes, letting your feet down into the cool water and sighing.

"Nice to actually meet you." You said. "I was.. curious about you." He put his arm on his knee, still looking out toward the water.

"Curious? About what?" He half laughed at you, like he couldn't believe you would be interested in anything about him.

"You." You stated, plainly. "I've heard a lot about you." You let your feet move back and forth in the cool water, enjoying the sensation.

"Like what? That I'm dealing with the devil?" He grinned.

"Well, yeah. That." He seemed far too nice to have anything to do with a devil. Even so, the way he grinned made you feel a little bit anxious. You tried your best to ignore it.

"You just came from the church up there, didn't you? Aren't you afraid of me?" You shrugged your shoulders at him, doing your best to hide it.

"No, not really. You seem nice. I don't see how you could have anything to do with the devil." You played with the hem of your dress with your fingers, looking down at your lap.

"You're brave for a church girl. I do have something to do with the devil. Maybe you should be afraid of me." He let his head fall, and it looked as if he was going to cry. His eyes filled with tears, but they didn't fall. Something was really off about him. You placed your hand gently on his arm, doing your best to comfort him.

"You are a kind person, I can sense it. I know you are. Despite anything else." You said, trying to let him know that he's not alone if he feels that he is fighting a losing battle with some inner demons. He looked at you, giving you a genuine smile through his tear filled eyes.

"You're real nice. Thanks." He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Sorry, we barely know each other. I shouldn't be saying this stuff to you." He stood up, as if he was getting ready to leave.

"I wanna know more about this whole 'devil' thing you believe you have going on." You looked to the sunset, seeing the sky turn a light purple color as the sun was fading below the skyline. "I wanna help, if I can. Religion or not. Something tells me you're deeply troubled." He didn't speak for a minute, and you gave him the time to gather his thoughts and think about what he wanted to say next.

"I am.. but I don't think there's anything you can do to help." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Will talking help at all? I'll be here to listen, if you need it, Akira. Sometimes that's all someone needs." He smiled, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Sure.. I'll come back tomorrow?" He said, you nodding your head in response to let him know that you would come back as well. "Okay.. but you should probably start heading home. It gets dangerous around here at night."

"How do you know that?" You questioned, pulling your feet out of the water and air drying them by swinging them around a little bit. You stood up, putting your shoes back on.

"The devil isn't just in hell, you know."

[deltaruminations]

Following the approach that EggMan Gaster and Goner_Maker Gaster are two different shards of the fractured whole (which i do believe), how do you think him being shattered in this manner will affect the whole conflict between him and the Angel?

GOOD QUESTION this is very interesting to think about

on a symbolic level, we could guess that Tree Man, to Gaster (or Gaster as we know him, “The Voice”), is sort of what Gaster as a whole is to the Angel (or the person acting on its behalf; i’ll just use “Angel” as shorthand for both). Like mollystars pointed out in TDT3, there's an irony or maybe hypocrisy in how Gaster seeks to free deltarune from the Angel’s narrative, while insisting on some amount of compliance to his own Prophecy. Tree Man, then, is the glitch in his game (or at least one of a number of glitches lol), an ungovernable force that encourages players to behave in ways beyond what the Prophecy prescribes. in a sense, Tree Man might be the most radical distillation of Gaster's actual values – freedom, curiosity, compassion, etc. — as well as his flaws — maybe, above all, a weak sense of boundaries. Tree Man, perhaps not unlike Gaster, may just want to help. but his presence is inherently destabilizing – change is inherently destabilizing – and even Gaster, the agent of entropy, might not be comfortable having his own internal order disrupted by an interloper he didn’t invite.

resolving Gaster’s “internal” conflict, asking him to acknowledge his blind spots or “Shadow” (encompassing, among other things, the faults in his perspective and his approach), might be a prerequisite for any meaningful intervention with the Angel, because he needs to understand why the Angel is receiving his attempts to “help” as antagonization. he has to understand how he’s making the situation worse before he can try to make it better.

it makes sense to me that meaningful intervention would start with Gaster; Gaster is the one we're closer to, and as the agent of Curiosity and Freedom, the one who's constantly inviting input and feedback, it seems reasonable to say he's the one who's more receptive to, you know, re-evaluating his beliefs based on new information lol. the main hurdle might just be getting him to see and acknowledge the information to begin with. the Angel (or whoever) is the tougher nut to crack, because its entire ethos is seemingly to resist challenge, resist feedback, resist change. the Angel’s position might be that maintaining the status quo of the story is better than risking it being made worse; or, rather, its fear of a worse story matters more to it than any belief or hope it might have for a better one. and to be fair, the Weird Route is basically the ultimate confirmation that those fears have a real basis. so how do you really “help” someone who’s that afraid? i mean, you stop doing shit that scares them even more, obviously. but then what do you do? you can’t guarantee them that it will only get better, even if you do happen to believe in that. you can’t control an uncertain future any more than they can.

maybe there’s nothing more to be done than for someone to just meet them where they’re at, in the Darkest Place, and ask them: what do you want from a better world? if i said a better world was possible, would you help me make it? if i said the world needed you, really needed you, would you believe me? would you take that responsibility? and if you make a mistake — when you make mistakes — if i said someone would be there to ride out the pain with you, and help you pick up the pieces, would you believe that, too?

of course, they’d need proof that such a person exists in order to believe it. and certainly there’s no character we can think of who by that point will likely have proven themself, if sometimes in flawed and clumsy ways, to be supernaturally determined, radically optimistic, infinitely patient, and stubbornly devoted to causes (and perhaps people) that matter to them, who also exists on the same metaphysical level as the Angel and might be capable of actually matching its power long enough to be able to talk to it. surely, no one like that, exists,

[red-dead-sakharine]

Sundered by the Styx

underdog!Raphael, RaphaelPOV, Raphael x m!OC, conflicted!cambion, hurt/comfort, warlock!OC, tiefling!OC, whump, pining, relationship with obstacles Spawned from anon 🔴 prompt. I hope anon forgives me for naming Tav. The prompt was so close to my own character, I decided to indulge myself.

Part 1 | Part 2 (soon)

"Nice decor." An interesting response. Not phased by being whisked away to some unknown place. And either brazen or of good taste. Which one of the two, Raphael had yet to figure out.

"The House of Hope, where the tired come to rest, and the famished come to feed - lavishly. Go on. Partake. Enjoy your supper. After all, it might just be your last."

The tiefling who seemed to be the leader of the group of mortals raised a brow, then turned and browsed the table. Eventually he picked up a particularly good looking piece of cake and began eating. A sweet-tooth. Raphael was intrigued by the reaction. "Not easily rattled, I see. Good. Makes the next part that much more straightforward." And with that, he dropped the human guise and showed off his true from. Spreading his wings and preening before his audience. The mortals looked shocked. "Fuck. A cambion." the other tiefling, Karlach, cursed. "What's better than a devil you don't know? A devil you do." Raphael cited his practiced line with a satisfied grin. The leader of the group kept chewing on his cake, only halting for a short moment when Raphael revealed himself, then returned to munching. Raphael had to admit, the equanimity of this one intrigued him. Provided it wasn't utter stupidity that made the mortal simply dull and callous. He would find out sooner or later. He continued his introductory speech, enjoying the mortals' reactions to it. Ah, he loved the underlying panic in their expressions.

When he was done with his speech, he waited for their reaction. The group looked to their leader, who swallowed the last bite of cake and cleaned his hands with one of the napkins from the table. Manners, Raphael observed approvingly. "Great introduction," the tiefling said honestly, "I liked the 'devil you don't know' part. Very clever." Raphael raised a brow, trying not to look too taken aback by the reaction. "Alas, I'm afraid I won't be making any deals anytime soon." He put the napkin back neatly on the table and offered a slight bow, "Varvain 's the name, by the way." The name rang familiar to Raphael, but he couldn't quite place it. Some of the tadpoled mortals had been harder to identify than others. Karlach and Wyll had been easy to figure out, due to Raphael's decent rapport with Zariel.

But this one - this Varvain - he had trouble to place. He could sense the warlock pact, but he didn't know who or what he was pacted with. Another fiend would explain the unflappable attitude upon seeing a devil. It would also be highly inconvenient for Raphael.

"By all means, take your time," he told the mortals, "Shop around..." He launched into another dramatic speech, enjoying himself greatly, as he put on the theatrics. Upon finishing, he sent the mortals back to where he had plucked them from.

Raphael rubbed his chin in contemplation for a moment, before snapping his fingers to summon Korrilla. "Watch those mortals, and eavesdrop on their leader. I need to know who is lending him their powers." The dwarf nodded, "Will do, boss." He dismissed her with a wave of his hand; sending her back to the mortal realm.

The leader of the group lingered on his mind. "ell mannered, not easily rattled, and admittedly not unpleasant to look at. Raphael's eyes fell to the napkin left neatly on the table, and narrowed his eyes in contemplation. The tiefling didn't look highborn, but he certainly knew decorum. An intriguing puzzle. A puzzle, Raphael set out to solve.

He mobilized some of his resources within Baator to discreetly keep an ear out for any mentions of a Varvain. It didn't take long until one of the cambions sworn to him returned with news. "I might have found this Varvain's patron, master." she said, as she approached Raphael, who was browsing books in the archives. "Well, don't let me wait." He responded drily, turning his attention to the other fiend. "I figured someone in the Fetters in Dis might know him. And they did. He actually has a bit of a reputation there." the cambion reported, "Apparently he's the favorite pet of a pit fiend called Frith."

Raphael's expression turned into an annoyed frown, "Frith..." He felt the need to punch something. Or someone. He knew the name. One of Dispater's lap dogs. "Anything else?" he asked, trying his damnedest to stay composed. The cambion shook her head, "No, master. That's all I could find out without my questioning becoming obvious." Raphael nodded, "Good work," and dismissed her with a wave of his hand. He mulled the information over in his head for a while. This might be an obstacle for his plans, depending on the details of the contract between Frith and Varvain that gave the mortal his power.

When he finally turned to leave the archive, he saw the Archivist giving him a look Raphael didn't appreciate. Upon seeing the devil glaring at him, the archivist swiftly busied himself with a ledger.

The cambion's nostrils flared in annoyance, but breaking spines would have to wait. He had a problem to solve.

Raphael made his way to Dis. He didn't particularly like the place; mostly because every time he came here, the streets had changed, making navigation difficult. It ground against his sense of order. At least coming here was easy enough. Due to the fetters being accessible to mortals, Raphael could just slip in without any trouble.

The fetters' market was a curious sight. Mortals and devils, both peddling their wares to each other. Many a deal struck, many a soul claimed. Though he did not like the city, Raphael had to admire the industrious efficiency of the procurement of souls in this place.

He focused back on his task - it wasn't hard to find Frith's haunt, the "bath house", as he called it. Truly it was more of a brothel, but appearances mattered in some way, when trying to trap mortals. It was a gaudy place he's been to before. There was a pool in the middle of it, so technically calling it a 'bath' was valid, even if most of the mortals who found themselves lured here, ended up enjoying either the music, or other physical pleasures outside the water. In a way, the place reminded him of Sharess' Caress, but with very different clientele. In the far back, on a dais lording over the place stood, what could only be described as a throne, with a large bed not far behind it. Raphael wrinkled his nose but was glad, that Frith wasn't heaving any entertainment right now. The pit fiend sat on his "throne", wearing his more palatable disguise of a handsome devil - tiefling, even - with short horns, slicked back hair, and a gaudy beard that reminded Raphael of both, his father and Dispater.

As he walked along the outside of the pool, Raphael took stock of the other beings present. Most were mortals, either guests who will probably never be able to leave again, or Frith's enslaved mortals who offered the entertainment. Some played music, some made food, some lulled the guests into letting their guard down by massaging them, and some... well. But there were also devils here. A succubus or two, Raphael noticed. Made sense, given the purpose of this place. But also some other devils who were here to be entertained. Probably allies of Frith's enjoying some sort of treat, Raphael assumed.

He was pulled from his thoughts, as he closed in on Frith's "throne". "You, cambion, you're not one of mine. I hope you have a good reason to be here." Frith's smooth but powerful voice boomed at him. Cambion. Raphael ground his teeth. Not only did the pit fiend not recognize him, he was also degraded to just a cambion. "I would have a word with you," he replied, doing his best to not let his frustration show. "I don't waste my time with half-breeds not sworn to me. So unless you're here to pledge your undying allegiance - shoo." Frith waved his hand dismissively.

Raphael clenched his fists in anger. Half-breed? Half-breed!? He took a deep breath, "I am Raphael. You might have--" "Oh, one of Mephistopheles' brood. I've heard of you." Frith interrupted him with a chuckle, "Bit of a rebel from what I hear. Not in your father's best graces, hm?" Raphael wanted nothing more, than to wipe that smirk off the fiend's face. But he knew he was no match for him - yet. This would all change, once he had the Crown of Karsus. Only a matter of time...

He took a frustrated breath, "Yes. My father and I don't exactly see eye to eye. But I'm not here to speak about him." Frith kept smirking condescendingly at the cambion before him, "Well, I am intrigued what would bring you here, half-breed, So I'll humor you." he beckoned Raphael to come closer, which he did. "Why do you visit me in my humble abode?" Raphael's jaw clenched, "I think I have stumbled upon one of your wayward warlocks." he tried to sound casual, "And I got curious what kind of relationship you have with them. I've seen different kinds of patronages during my days. I'm always interested to..." he gestured vaguely, "...learn, from others and their experiences."

Frith's superior smirk slowly vanished, "And which warlock would that be, pray tell? Do you have a name?" Raphael did his best to sound conversational, "He did introduce himself as Varvain." The moment he said the name, he saw something shift in Frith's expression. Though he couldn't quite tell what it was. "Varvain - my pet. He's having an unplanned vacation in the mortal realm." Frith replied and narrowed his eyes, "How did you run into him?" Raphael shrugged, "Oh, I was looking for souls, you know. Lots of death going on at the Sword Coast these days." He smirked a little. Frith regarded the cambion for a bit, "Well, you won't have Varvain's soul. It is mine." he put a lot of emphasis on that last word, adding a threatening undertone that was hard to miss. Raphael gave a little sideways nod, "Far be it from me to get between you and your pet. But pray tell, might I have a look at his contract, by any chance?" This was far from smooth, but there was no way around asking about the contract sooner or later, "Merely to serve as inspiration for my own, you understand. There's a little tiefling girl I'm interested in... mentoring."

Frith was quiet for a moment, as he looked Raphael up and down. Then he stood up, smiling casually - but something wasn't right, Raphael could tell. "You want to look at Varvain's contract?" He echoed the request, as he stepped down from the dais and approached Raphael. The cambion felt like he should be retreating, but he stood his ground. An error. Frith's hand shot up, grabbing Raphael by the throat and pulling him close to his face, "Varvain is mine, and whatever you think to want or get from him, you best swiftly forget about it, you half-mortal filth." Frith growled. Raphael grabbed the pit fiend's arm, tried to wrest himself free, but to no avail. "I am no mortal!" he croaked angrily, defiantly, but only got a laugh in response. "Well, you're certainly no devil either." Frith hissed and tightened his grip. The cambion tried to respond but all that came out of his strangled throat was a strained gurgle. "Mephistopheles would probably thank me for getting rid of you, but you are his problem, mortal spawn. Get out of my domain. Now." He threw Raphael to the ground like a ragdoll, "And if you dare to even so much as sniff on Varvain's soul, I will throw you into the pit of flame myself!"

Raphael could see the pit fiend's eyes burn with rage, and he had no doubt he was one spark away from dropping his disguise. Coughing, Raphael staggered to his feet. He glared angrily at the other devil, but he knew if it came to open violence, he would draw the short end of the stick. The entire bath house had become silent. The music had stopped and nobody dared to speak or move. Raphael glared at Frith, but he knew when to make a tactical retreat. He turned and stomped out of the building, stewing in his anger and frustration. He swore to himself, once he had the Crown of Karsus, he would return and tear Frith limb from limb. But for now he would have to bide his time.

He returned to the House of Hope to nurse his bruised ego.

(To be continued...)