#but until then shut up and dont interact if you cant be serious

[sidecast-deactivated]

Americans shut up literally shut the fuck up no one needs to hear your jokes about Ukraine and WW3, shut the fuck up about the cold war and getting nuked, this isn't about you, no one will force you to join the army, you aren't getting drafted, you will be safe and sitting on your asses on the other side of the world, you are politically untouchable. This impacts you only through the TV screen and if I see one more distasteful joke you can easily throw away mid-conversation without a care in the world I am blocking you. You are not funny.

[xsarcasticwriterx]

Young God-Part 1

Summary: Your power isn't even a power its simply words. You can understand people, get into their head and know them better than anyone all willingly on their end. This made you useful to the avengers when villains came and you could understand and fix them. When this is asked to be done to loki you cant help but fall for the god the more you get to know him.

Pairing: Loki x reader

Warning: Swearing, Loki being loki,angst

Notes: Ok lemme just start of saying loki isn't going to be...nice in the beginning of this i got the idea off of joker and harley quinn's relationship and slightly silence of the lambs so do with that what you will now i adore loki so he won't be a dick the whole time just yea someone getting into loki's head? he isn't too chill with that.

You walked down the stairs leading to the dungeon where the god was locked away ready for you to speak to. you heard the mocking laughs and sarcastic remarks made as you passed the cells.” “hey mortal lemme get a taste” he said thrust to you. you flipped him off not looking at him and passing on by. seeing the god laying on the couch reading a book you walked through the boundaries placed stepping before him. Odin had given you a pill, said it would allow you past the wall of an hour and only you. “hello” he said reading his book still. “apologies for my fellow inmates they can be quiet rude” he said with a small smirk.

“ironic coming from a man with the nickname silver tongue” you said sitting down on a chair in front of him. he placed down his book “oh doll there's more to that nickname” he said with a wink. you simply rolled your eyes in response. you had been told loki was like this. “anyways why are you here” he asked sitting up turning to you “did odin send you to make sure im behaving?” he asked with a snarky tone

You made a mental note of his hatred for odin, though from your interactions with the man you slightly understood that. “i'm here to speak to you” is all you said. loki scoffed “you doll are a horrible liar” he said with a smirk. He stood up and walked around you almost scanning you. “what's the real reason your here?” he asked behind you. “truly i am here to talk to you” you repeated with a straight face and shrug. “then talk” he said bending down right in front of your face. his breath ghosting over your face and his long wavy hair falling in his face. “your a god you live for years on end tell me loki, how old are you?” you asked. loki gave a smile before standing “my age? that's what you came for?” he huffed. “ill answer your questions if you answer mine” he said in return

you turned around facing him “i don't answer questions” you said with a shrug “oh come on doctor i know your other patients didn't just comply with your questioning” he said with a smirk. he was always smiling or smirking, never a true smile something to show planning, no not planning, anger? no not anger. hurt? yes thats it hes hurt and hides it with his devilish smile. to throw you off to push you away. make you fear him over wanting to know him.

Now the new question was how did he know you were a doctor. well you may not be an official doctor but you were one of sorts. You had been in college to get a phycology degree until fury swept you up making you work for him. you tilted your head alarming the god you were lost on his accusation. “oh dear as you said i am a god you don't think i could fall for your tricks and lies like the others did you?” he asked walking to you “doll only i make the tricks here” he said holding your jaw. “now we play by my rules” he said with another smile. “stop” you said. his smile widened “stop smiling” you said. you saw a hint of confusion wash over before it was erased with another smirk “why doll?” he asked. “because its a lie” you said. loki's face became serious “you talk of lies yet you wouldn't tell me why your here” he said walking around the room.

“Fine i'm here to evaluate you” you said simply “now will you answer my questions?” you asked. “I have been just not the ones you want the answer to.” he replied. “agree to my terms and ill be more than willing to answer you” he said with a sarcastic smile “i ask the questions not you” you replied. he shrugged laying back down reading his book again. you only had an hour with him so you had no choice but to comply with his rules or you'll get nowhere but you also didn't want the god to think he could just boss you around and throw a fit.

you shrugged picking up your bag walking out of the room. “1,054″ you said blankly. you turned confused “my age” he said still reading. you nodded walking back in “one question” you said sitting down. he smirked still looking at the book but not reading it “well start simple. name?” he asked. “y/n” you replied. “y/n....mmm now y/n why are you here?” he asked sitting up. “to evalu-” you started to say before he cut you off “why are you here?” he asked “were not doing this loki i said one question” you said standing back up. your hour was almost over. “what happened doctor don't like a taste of your own medicine?” he asked with a dark smile. “why do you do that? smile so much?” you asked. “you tell me you said it was a lie which means you've made your own deductions of it so tell me doc why do i smile so much?” he asked tilting his head.

“to make people uncomfortable. they see you smile this mischievous smile a smile that they expect from the god of mischief. you become what people expect of you so they stay away now why you push people you don't know away i'm not quiet sure on but i assume it has something to do with your spite for odin” you said simply. loki gave a wide smile standing up “well well well doc, you are utterly” he said behind you getting close to your ear “wrong” he said simply straightening backup. “now you well i do have so many things to say about you” he said moving in front of you. “you evaluate people thinking you know everything about them so much more than they know themself, from body language to words to the crime they commited. but i my dear am simply a king who deserved a throne and would fight for it” he said sitting back down “hours up doll better leave before your trapped in here” he said looking at you with another smile. 

Walking back up you felt unnerved. the god had a weird aura to him like he could read your mind. granted he may actually be able to in which case you need to be more careful about such things. you walked to your room feeling empty and drained. you fell back on the bed rubbing your face. the odinsons had given you your own quarters while you stayed there. there was  knock on the door and you groaned “its open” you replied and the door opened revealing yet another god, a kinder one. Thor walked over sitting next to you “how was loki?” he asked. “loki was....exactly how yall described him” you sighed. thor griminced he hoped his brother would behave “did you get anything out of him?” he asked. “just his age which is useless it was more a test to see if he'd comply with me. think he got more out of me than i of him” you said looking up at thor. 

“give him time. my brother can be...difficult but your a legend at this so you should do well it may take longer than usual but you'll get it” thor said cheerfully. you gave a small smile. you wanted to believe that you truly did but honestly you weren't sure. “loki sure is a strange guy” you said sitting up “Well he's not a guy hes a god such as i and he was raised by my mother” he said to you.

“get some rest i bet you'll do much better tomorrow” he said with a smile walking out. you sighed and changed, laying bed you felt sleep take over. 

you stood in a black room seeing your parents smiling faces “mom? dad? you said with a smile. you started to run to them before blood dripped from there eyes and they slowly faded away. you stepped back feeling empty once again. you heard a chuckle and turned seeing loki laugh and roll his eyes before vanishing too

You awoke with a small scream and your heart racing. you were drenched in sweat and tears streamed down your face. once you calmed you growled launching up from bed and walking down to the dungeon storming past the assholes shouting crude things at you. you stood at loki's cell banging on the wall “hey asshole” you said blatantly. “well hello to you too doll isnt this a shocker” he said with another smile god how you wanted to slap that smile off his face “shut up” you said. loki sat up looking at you “well what can i do for you?” he asked. “your not supposed to have you powers in here” you said with a stern face

loki tilted his head in mock confusion “why i don't” he said voice dripping in sarcastic hurt as if offended by such accusations. “don't lie you bastard! You were in my head i know it you know it so let's just both know it” you yelled at him. His smile widened “ok darling but see i do have one question left unanswered. how did your parents die?” he asked stepping to the glass. “they didn't it was simply a nightmare” you groaned. 

“no no see people who dream of the death unprompted feel pain,sadness,fear they try to stop it you well you felt nothing you just...stood there” he said looking down at you. “so how was it they died?” he asked. “if you can get in my head then you sure as shit know” you said looking down at the floor. you really did not want to speak of it.

“of course i do doll but i want to hear you say it” he said leaning on the glass. “i will not play into your game” you said storming off “you still hear it dont you? their screams” he said. “i do” he said after

you turned “pardon?” you asked walking back to him. “have a nice night darling” he said smiling walking back to his couch. “but you said-” you were cut off by the sounds of footsteps “oi you are not to be down here madam” the man said walking to you “oh yes sorry i must have sleep walked” you replied walking upstairs back to your bed.

laying down your head felt as if it was spinning. This was going to be an interesting roller coaster wasn't it.

[eviclair]

I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of your actual thoughts(tm) on khr, so what’s your constructive review on the series as a whole? Like some positives and negatives w/ the writing, characters, etc. If u don’t feel like answering, feel free to ignore this LOL.

 tl;dr because this is 800 words of nonsense. i think you should know i would not know a constructive review if it bit me in the ass.

my guy i have not done a full read of khr in maybe two years and i know that does not sound like a long time but i have the long-term memory of a fruit fly. please bear with me. luckily for both of us i liveblogged the last time i read so i at least have my own sparknotes jdflaksjddaf

first off! khr is a satire manga!!! i cannot stress this enough, i can and will fight you to the death about this!!! “oh but it gets serious later” it grows a PLOT, thats not the same thing. khr is stupid as hell and that is both on purpose and my favorite thing about it.

i fucking love shonen man!!! its all about FIGHTING and LOVING YOUR FRIENDS and HAVING EMOTIONS and. bro im a water sign. my mars is in gemini, there is nothing i can do about this, god made me and said “get that bitch some found family and also some incredible violence” and we all just have to live with that. 

khr is so much all of those things that i did not realize they were being made fun of until very long after the fact so my current opinions are very much not the ones i started with jaldkhjdfhd but man. once i clued in i both loved it so much more and became 100% incapable of interacting with fandom in any meaningful way L M A O

i just. the main conceit is that theyve weaponized the deus ex machina eleventh-hour shonen power up. the “my dead family came back to life to kill me” trope is used three separate times. the big bad student body president is a delinquent. theres an entire subset of above magic god powers thatre just

the tyl bazooka was just ripping on the Timeskip Arc until the Timeskip Arc actually happened?? like fuuta’s special thing is that he can communicate with the Meta Planet to divine Character Rankings, i dont know what to tell you!!! the truth is out there!!! 

like DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER that time tsuna experienced a villain’s flashback sequence FOR HIM because i fucking do, i think about it every day,

so in the sense of “please critique the writing”, i cant do that because im pretty sure 98% of all the tropey bullshit is by design. do i wish people like the kokuyo gang got more characterization outside of being ride-or-die villain sidekicks?? of course i do but thats my own damn fault for seeing cool side characters and losing all higher brain function. on the other hand, hibari being the person he is and having absolutely no backstory or motivation beyond “get out of my school” is really fucking funny and keeps me warm at night, so. win some, lose some.

(the 2% of the writing that isnt tropey bullshit that i CAN critique is whatever is happening with kyoko. Bad Female Cast is definitely a shonen trope but its a shitty one and i want it to die. within maybe four minutes of kyoko being introduced she tries to body a man and then thats just never spoken about again?? wheres that energy queen?!!! let kyoko say fuck!!!!)

((this applies to haru too in the sense that all she really does is make moon eyes at tsuna but the way in which she does so is honestly so fucking funny and unhinged that it comes back around to being great. like yeah yep yes ma’am thats 100% bonafide Girl Who Throws Skittles In A Puddle And Calls It Potion right there please may i have another))

If khr took itself even 4% more seriously it could be really deep and compelling and i think that frustrates a lot of people, but i think i like it better this way?? half the fun for me is reading in between the lines!! the subtext, however unintentional it may be!!

examples: yamamoto is one of my favorites just because theres SO FUCKING MUCH to unpack about him!! canon gives us a lot of information about him just by virtue of the fact that he’s a Main Character, but paradoxically he himself is never really the focus. he just Does Shit and you have to figure out why on your own and i LOVE DOING THAT.

i dont love mukuro because he’s a fleshed out and nuanced villain, i love him because he says shit like “i went to hell six times” and never expounds upon that or “i can definitely trust the information i got from this magic monocle called Demon Spade’s Super Evil Murder Eye or whatever the fuck” and then expresses surprise when daemon spade is an asshole. he goes and willfully fucks up the only job anyones ever given him (impersonate 80 year old leonardo lippi) because he Just Has to shapeshift into a young hot dude and hand deliver byakuran, the boss of the Flower Family, the Family that names all its members after Flowers, a bouquet that means “i am in disguise ;) cant catch me bitch ;)”

like WHAT THE FUCK!!

i dont know man. i just like puzzles and khr is a gift that keeps giving.

(sidenote that should’ve maybe just been the subject of the post but re:i cant shut the fuck up about anything ever, i love tsuna so much. so much. his personality!! his relationships!!! his growth!!! his growth!!!!! his growth!!!!!!! khr has its claws in me because i see tsuna do something cool or brave or even deeply stupid actually and my whole heart goes AAAAAAAAA bc thats him!!! thats my son!!!!! my baby boy whom ive raised since birth!!!!!! suit me up and call me a reborn kinnie, fuck!!!!!!!!!)

[jazajas]

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

[kappu-ke-ki-67]

My OCs reaction to being broken up with

Amasa: Amasa stops mid-bite of the pasta he ordered on their date night. His brain didn't process what she said for a few moments. At first, he was sure he heard wrong. Until he asked her to repeat and she said it again with more force. Clear of any stutter or hesitation. He put his fork down and blinked slowly at her. "You're...you're breaking up with me..? Why? What'd I do? You can't be serious!"

AJ: She had tried to stay up until he returned home from a mission but eventually sleep won her over. She hadn't been out for more than a couple hours before he finally came into her room. She slowly cracked an eye open and sleepily smiled up at him. Since she was half asleep, his words sounded muddled to her at first. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up with a 'hm?' She stared at him when he repeated and laughed, not taking him serious in the slightest. "Ha. Like you'd break up with me. Come cuddle me, dummy."

Melanie: "What does technically being my uncle have to do with anything? No, I dont think it's weird. You do realize I'm a demon right? Family stuff like that doesn't completely apply-" She stared bewildered at him as he tried to explain. Melanie wasnt buying it, nor could she fathom him doing such a thing with her. Putting down the box of magical items, she chuckled. "You're just messing with me. Arent you? Trying to get a reaction? Haha, very funny." She paused for a moment before looking up at him "Wait you're serious-?"

Minhyuk: Min sat at his computer, engrossed in his new song him and his cousin made the other day. With his headphones on, he didn't hear her walk in until she tapped his shoulder. He spins around, ripping off his headphones in a panic. Min calms down once he noticed that it was just her. Offering a smile he asks her what's up. He froze once the words came out of her mouth. He blankly stares while his brain processes. He only quietly put his headphones back on and turned back to his computer. He shut down completely.

Charles: Charlie took caution whenever he spent time with his Mishka. Making sure that if her parents were around, to act like he didnt sneak into her room every night. He thought that having to be mindful of that whenever they interacted wasnt that bad, annoying yes, but doable. But when he made his way into her room that night, and she explained that it was getting to be too much. He was torn between being upset and understanding. "Ah yes, well um. I suppose dating me can be a little much at times. But we've made it work so far. I'm sorry would you like me to leave-?"

Eunmi: Coming back from a night out with the girls, she didn't expect to see him sitting on her couch. After putting down her things, she made her way over to him. She was a little intoxicated but attempted to play it off, asking him why he was waiting for her but didnt text. She stood up as quickly as the words left his mouth. "Fuck no! Absolutely not! You think you can just break up with me like I'm a side bitch?"

Erik: He was in the middle of getting ready for their date night. They managed to make it half a year and he wanted to take her out to celebrate. Looking over himself in the mirror, he felt his phone buzz with a text.

[Hey something came up]

[What is it? Maybe we can schedule around]

Watching the little typing bubble on his screen for a few minutes with no response sent a little panic down his spine. The next text confirmed his fear. He quickly called her but got her voicemail. "Hey, hey. You need to talk to me. Is there something I can fix? That I did wrong? Love, please-"

Valentine: She thought she had gotten through to him that dating a human wouldn't end well. Regardless of circumstances, it was against the rules and that if he wanted a relationship, He could and should date her. Which seemed to work. He had broken up with the human and decided to go with her instead. That was, until he said he didn't think that them together was what he thought it would be. "I..What do you mean? I try my best! Cmon you cant tell me you arent happy.."

Samuel: He was getting upset that it seemed that she was avoiding him all day. Even with his ability to teleport at will, he always seemed to just miss her. Deciding to just stake out in her room until she returned, he waited sprawled out on her bed. Once he heard the door open, he sprung up. That seemed to scare her but he didnt really care at the moment. He asked her why she was avoiding him and really didnt like her answer, getting unreasonably angry. "Break up? With me? Yeah I'd like to see that fucking happen. What, you got another dude giving you attention? What's his fucking name; I'm gonna put him in the fucking ground."

Kyungah: Kyungah wasn't really one for dating or relationships in general. So when he asked her out at the beginning she was very skeptical. Sitting in her room reading, she heard her phone ring. Her heart sped up a little when she read his name on the ID. Answering it, a bit of small talk was made until he said he needed to tell her something. When the words reached her ears, she couldn't do anything but laugh.

Lilith: She noticed that he wasnt hanging around her as much. That he ignored most of her texts, and the ones that did get a response were short, 3 word answers. Her anxiety was getting the better of her. And she was breaking down quick. Once she was able to get a moment of his time, finally, she asked him if he still loved her. Her heart broke at the quick 'no' and shattered further when he suggested they break up. Tears quickly filled her eyes. "B-but.. I thought I was better.. why am I not enough for anyone?"

Siren: Tossing the used blood bag into the garbage, she noticed her boyfriend walking up to the house. She went over to the door and let him in with a smile, hugging him. Pulling away, she noticed that he looked extremely upset. She thought that maybe she had some blood on her lips so she wiped her face with the back of her hand, apologising. "Sorry, I forgot how you are with the real stuff. Oh, that's not why you're upset? Well, what's up Baba?" Her eyes dimmed as he carefully explained why he came over. "O-oh. I uh. Eh, I knew this was gonna fuckin happen eventually"

[seijch]

hi im about to spam u (so sorry) but ive been too scared to read doomsday until now and im so glad i finally did becasue dude. Dude. its so much. "It’s as the sky bleeds from orange to pale blue that it hits." i loveeee how you incorperated such small moments like the hot chocolate and the ily + i know... be even here just the thought of your Last Sunrise is heartbreaking, but to /realize/ your own end coming in that moment, especially watching the soft sunrise... oof.

HI!!! omg when you sent this i was like . abt to sleep but i read this before i did and went irl 🥺🥺 and then also passed out before i could formulate a response sjfksdfds

anyway!! my response to your asks (i hope i got them all but!!) will be under the cut bc i dont know how to shut up ❤

a lot of the way the interactions in doomsday unfold are honestly BECAUSE tsukki and the reader are (i mean first of all, theyre tsukki and the reader with all that comes with) fully aware that:

they have abt a full day of life left

theres nothing that can be done to elongate that time or avoid death altogether

its not like some young adult novel where a group of ragtag teenagers save the world; its the tale of two adults who have had time to come to terms with the fact that their lives and the lives of everyone they know will end soon (and once again everything that THAT comes with). its why i rlly enjoyed juxtaposing the nice weather w the crippling realization of their own mortality 🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻

"you try to stress your words, make it absolutely clear that you’ve never meant anything like you mean this" this is HEARTBREAKING in a whole miryad of different ways - for a realtionship u establish as one with so many things unsaid but still understood, but here to have her say this so desperately?? like she feels this its too big to leave between the lines? it doesnt matter that he knows, she needs to say it and needs him to hear it UGH IM SAD AGAIN

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THIS ONE OUT!! this is EASILY one of my favorite parts of the whole fic mostly bc its something i go thru a lot? like im the definition of that tweet abt never making any damn sense but ESP when it comes to my i love yous or other serious things...i say it a lot and yes i mean it every time! but sometimes i MEAN it and i never quite know how to properly express that kinda thing. 

i think its especially big for the reader in the context of the world ending and in the context of their relationship with tsukishima to have that moment of transparency and complete sincerity for the EXACT reasons you described!!!

"It’s hollow; neither of you have been under the delusion that this was anything but." u said u werent sure about his characterisation but this screams tsukki to me. cuz hes blunt and i dont think he would lie to himself about something like this especially. and even when she tries just for a moment to pretend, he just shows her /no, its ok, this is the truth and we have to die with it/... nah it vibes dude. hes such a interesting character for this idea too? because hes not sappy or anything +

so his tears hurt so much more... oof. "This is my goodbye, he says with more than words." this just... i have so many feelings about this. cuz to me hes totally someone who shows affection through small actions when he cant find the words to match his emotions? so this is like a 4-book-saga laying out his emotions cuz he doesnt quite have the words to say it out loud and theyre out of time. its desperate, but not sad desperate? like its the end but its just him making sure shes knows everything 

ok first of all THANK YOU for saying that bc i wrote him being more vulnerable than i think we rlly see in any tsukki not like ... in junior high LMAO and immediately after i felt my characterization alarms ringing ... like yk those natural disaster alarms? thats the vibe...

but i had one of those Moments where i was no longer the one writing and it was the characters themselves just telling me what to say and how to say it nsfsfsd so im rlly glad it worked! and tbh when the concept first grabbed me by the collar i was juggling a few different characters around in my head but i think i made the right choice in the end. its like you said -- hes not a particularly sappy type and hes always been more grounded in reality imo than some of the other characters (another contender for this fic was akaashi but i realized i do NOT have any solid grasp of his character that isnt from fandom interpretation which is a double edged sword tbh)

and honetly i was ok until "If you’re going to take me out, do it in style, you’d said to him, once. So he does." and then i was all of a sudden crying. and the "stripped down to your bare selves" like theyre just being incinerated together and IM- NO WRODS JUST FEELINGS. i think the best thing about this is how unrushed it feels? and it hurts and its aching but they Know. +

and theyve come to some form of peace with it so when it does come, they can focus on eachother and not the end oh im gonna cry again. this was so gracefully put together, thank u for this. i might reread it and cry again, amazing work 😭💕

i didnt touch on it above bc i wanted to do it here but yes!!!! the absolute fucking DESPERATION felt by both parties in that last minute (which idk if you read my tags on the fic proper but 11:59 was originally one segment before i took those last couple paragraphs and made them the very last second ... i think i made the right choice? it rlly does scream FINAL to me) is SO poignant. all of the walls and hidden meanings fall away because in the end theyre all they have left, dying in each others arms at the very end of it all.

this full REVIEW honestly made me so happy to hear esp on a piece i wasnt quite sure how to feel about at first,, thank you 🤝🏻🤝🏻 i hope you have/had a wonderful day!!!!

OK EDIT BC I JUST SAW THIS COMIC SOMEONE MADE ON IG AND ITS NOT THE MOST RELEVANT BUT ANSWERING THIS PUT ME IN A TSUKISHIMA MOOD SO HERE

[coolingdownanddrawing]

heres some idea’s for redesigns along with some bulletpoints on what I was thinking for story stuff involving remaking the series

Im having trouble reading off the screenshots so Im gonna write it out under the cut along with probably adding some ideas or expanding on the bullet lists (future me here: I wrote a Lot)

Sam Manson:

-Rich Activist, meaning she’s kinda blind to some troubles going on or doesnt full understand how others are doing financially, along with being raised in a house with people who arnt exactly empathetic and more focused on appearances then worker rights, sam can come off as shallow to others doing activist work.

 it could be a really interesting character arc for her to realize some of the things going on outside of her school and plants that she can help with, along with dealing with that sense of helplessness she feels at being to normal to help anyone she expresses in the show.

-Goth, but cheery? One thing i noticed in the show is how overall cheerful sam can come off while toting goth ideal’s, which may be a part of why she isnt shown to have many goth friends with them seeing her more as a poser becouse their teenagers and teenager Be like that sometimes.

 It’s not a problem in my book but it could be fun to see tucker or danny question it when in goth spaces and sam basically saying the truth that you dont have to be miserable to enjoy dark subject matter. maybe with tucker and danny getting a small interest in some of the “lesser” goth stuff sam introduces to them.

-fights everyone, becouse teenager with boundless energy and Ghosts attacking all the time. sam didnt fight much in the original series and thats a shame.

-facinated by ghost, becouse duh

-I was kinda thinking of her and tucker being introduced by them competing for class president, becouse that seem’s like a position both would be interested in and it be more interesting then having tucker face dash

Tucker Foley

-Likes to influence others is a general statment, but its true tucker likes to be involved in other peoples lives and generally have his oppinion affect people in possitive (or negative) ways. he likes seeing that his involvment matters and he suffers when people ignore him or take his oppinions for granted and id love to see stuff centered around this trait

-level 1 leader/planner, sorta connected to the influencing people thing I think tucker really would thrive in leadership roles that danny just isnt suited to handling, big mobs of people and sam on his side and he is a force to be recond with. Tucker thrives in getting big groups of people to side with him esspecially since technology profficientcy isnt a sign of weakness in this day and age. 

plus him working on his public speaking lines up with his motivation of wanting to be attactive to ladies. 

also Having him working on public speaking stuff and general people person scenario’s gives a lot of reason for the group to interact with the A listers in a less hostile scenario

-tech god I guess, becouse tucker foley

Dan Phantom

-Incarnation of discomfort being the unintentional (At least the first time) fusion of a stubborn 14 year old and his crazy 40 year old father figure with very different morals and oppinions makes existing very, very akward for dan, but great comedy fodder!

-dan is able to have legs or a ghostly tail whenever he pleases unlike vlad or danny, becouse I figured it be a good way to make fights more interesting and their fighting styles different becouse I want more vlad involvement and having  them be extra different types of ghosts makes watching either of them fight much more interesting

-wishes to not exist, esspecially in the presense of either danny or vlads love interests becouse WOW thats akward

-WAAAAY more powerful then danny and vlad, partially becouse making dan a final everything is going to hell desperate final action for danny and vlad would make dan’s appearances more interesting but also becouse of difference’s about vlad plasmius and danny phantom I will talk about when I get to them. 

Dan Discomfort Masters

-“Vlad’s nephew” becouse if you’re meeting this guy stuff has gone horrible wrong on the de-fusing front  and he needs a reason to be in either fenton on masters house hold to get whatever he needs to fix the ghost catcher 

- big ol liar pant’s, partially becouse danny and vlad are Huge Liars but also becouse of the whole, I need shit to stop existing 

-Trying to keep it together becouse he’s probably made to interact with people vlad and danny have Opinions On and honestly he cant decide if he wants to viciously prank jack at every oppertunity or punch himself for thinking of being mean to jack, among other such mixed feelings.

Vlad Masters

-Certified genius due to a number of thing’s including his obession, and becouse being smarter then jack makes him happy and if jack ever expressed interest in a subject He Must Be Better, he might not be trying to kill jack becouse he doesnt want to deal with a ghost hunter ghost for who knows how long but he wont be lesser then jack in ANYTHING.

-fruitloop, still has some backwards logic and morals such as having valarie become a ghost hunter to offer a sparring buddy to danny and whats a better motive to shoot at someone then they ruined their life right but he’s generally such a over the top bird brain trying to show off to everyone that fruitloop is the only description he can be given.

-less evil is a Big Thing, he’s still objectively not a very good man but I want him and danny working together and sharing a roof on the weekends but that means not shooting first and asking questions later on site, so a less evil vlad is needed, plus it just generally makes there interactions more fun and less dangerous which is what im going for, since walker can take over a lot of vlads antagonist role in the story plus danny and vlad making agreements to get stuff out of eachother sounds like a hell of a lot of fun, i liked eye for and eye vlad sue me.

- as a side not I want vlad to be a lot less physically fit and practiced with doing things as a human, seeing him as a man who lords his power over others when he can he prefers relaxing and working as plasmius more then masters, which affects his health and serves a purpose in story for a lesson id like made after watching phantom planet last night

Vlad Plasmius

-loving guardian in that he really, really does want to be a good father and mentor figure to danny even if their relationship is rocky due to long standing lies he’s been feeding him and how tight a grip vlad has on his familys financial health. as well as the whole snatching partial costody as soon as costudy was called into question after dannys accident (Ill get to that) vlad’s babysat in the past for the fenton which is part of it, along with his desire to be better at jack in every aspect.

-great implorer, in which he likes to get minions when he can and usually only grumbles if his minions already have plans when he calls for them, pays great by ghost zone and human standards and usually offers a full health plan, though skulkers case that full health plans is for when he gets his head up his ass and thinks he can actually get either danny or vlads pelt, one of skulkers suits is on vlads lab wall with a nice hole where its face should be as a reminder to those who cross him.

-only legs,  meaning he uses 100% more kicks and ground based attacks then danny and can kick below the bet where danny cant, this plus his fire core making him have to get creative lest he burn his surroundings to the ground has him fighting in a very different way to danny, along with his 20 years of experience. vlad tends to fight ghosts with less reason to leave the ghost zone, and invading lairs to get what he wants, leading to more serious encounters then what danny faces in the begining.

-loves dramatics, becouse vlad plasmius everybody he’s a cookyier villian here

-less evil and more ruthless and efficient to those who get in his way, that arnt who percieves as family 

-Plasmius’s obsession is teaching people lessons, in all the good and horrible ways that can imply. halfa’s have more broad and less restrictive obsessions then other ghosts which makes them more dangerous and able to ammas power.

Danny Fenton

-Fenton works heir, which is played up a lot more in this with vlad backing his family and giving them chances to disgrace themselves on public telivision and get shamed out of wherever their currently living, leading them on a series of moves throughout dannys life before amity park show off their inventions to the world! Since Jazz aggressively refused the role it fell on danny and he actually takes it pretty seriously, believing as a little bab in ghosts and being convinced of their evil from a young age by his parents which you can only imagine does great things for him when he becomes a halfa and learns unkie vlad is one as well.

-has been haunted by the creepy ghost boy title his whole like due to his situation and the fact he is usually made to assist in showing off his parents weapons publicly as a apprentice ghost hunter, one such invention was the fenton portal that had a wire loose during the presentation, when he went in and put it back the doors automatically shut him in and jack and maddie didnt notice he was in there still until the screaming started, this led to some public outcry over weather jack and maddie are fit to raise kids and vlad swooping in for partial costudy of both fenton children “to ease the masses, and besides he’s basically helped raise them anyway whats garenteed weekends at one of vlads places going to do?”  it was a sucky situation.

-bad reputation due to general protectiveness of his parents along with terrible social skills, along with his new trouble of hiding and controlling emerging ghost powers.He doesnt leave a initial good impression on sam and tucker when he first meets them as fenton, and people tend to avoid him to keep away from his parents wierdness anyhow.

-is less good in the traditional sense but wants to keep people safe and happy if he can help it, though its argueable if thats simply a manifestation of his obsession or if its just becouse he’s a sweet kid, once he gets it into his head that ghosts arnt always evil he tries really hard to be nice to ghost too and even tries to save them from his parents when he can. putting his neck out for them.

Danny Phantom

-just wants a lair is a shorthand for wanting to just experience regular ghost things when he’s going ghost, he’s less inclined to fight every ghost he see’s unless their actively hurting people and tries to talk them down, not wanting his afterlife filled with enemies when he officially keels over. 

he has big dreams for a super cool lair of his own that are explored upon the one time he’s split apart by the ghost catcher, mostly becouse phantom rips the  door to his room from its hinges and zooms into the ghost zone as soon as he’s out, found aimlessly wondering helplessly looking for the PERFECT location to start building. he tends to day dream about the lair of his dreams in class.

-no leg’s leading to more air combat and trying to immobalize people with his tail, usually fighting fairly though with his moments of cheap shots in partiicularly deadly battles,, he usually fights people like johnny 13 who mess with people then he does generally harmless ghosts like box ghost in the begining, plus with his in development abilities that include a versatile ice core his fights are more strategy  then sheer beat down or creative weapon making (or heating whatever metal the ghost is wearing to the point of insanity) 

Danny also has this little problem where he “died” in a anti ghost hazmat suit made of stuff to weaken and harm a ghost who comes in contact with jack and maddies little boy and it means its harder on him to access his powers, taking more energy to do things that most ghost would find easy like intangibilty and invisibility, which is a major problem for him esspecially at first, danny’s only made aware of this though vlads help and their working on a way to trick the hazmat suit into changing material with what danny was wearing under the suit, since its being difficult with changing on dannys command, he can put stuff over and under the suit but the suit itself is hard to make budge.  the outfit shown above is after danny learns how to at least add stuff over it with vlads help.

dan does not have problem’s with the material of his costume making him have access to all dannys abilities easily, along with vlads experience and power and dannys creative thinking dan gets the nickname of the ultimate enemy with good reason

- Loves exploring, esspecially the ghost zone its so interesting and full of enteraining characters and the food is Amazing at least in ghost form and vlad’s show him some pretty incredible places in the zone when they agree to work together in the sense of vlad stealing madde and jacks thermoses at the end of fenton fights and danny helping him spelunk in the ghost zone,  its a guilty pleasure to be able to show sam and tucker around when they become friends, natural portals are a tempation danny has a hard time ignoring when he see’s one, much to his loved ones annoyance.  wolf is a terrible enablr of a friend.

- due to his obession with proving himself (its the wording i go with now i might change it to something like control or being loved) danny tends to want people to like him and seeing a opertunity to get them to like him sorta throws him off balance and out of fight mode, usually leading to him cuddling up to them, in phantom form dannys a great cuddler. take caution though he’s been known to trick enemys into thinking he’s gone out of fight mode and either shove them into the nearest portal/thurmos or later freezing them where they stand.  dannys terrible with crowds, esspecially crowds of people who dont like him he freezeses up.

Danny to-tired-to-function (school and not working with parents danny)

-cant wait to to graduate, with no plans to go to college becouse he’s not paying for more hell

-is really in a bad place socially and mentally in the begining, but will become a lot happier once he befriends sam and tucker, though before that he tends to do some pretty desperate and embarrasing things to get attention and has a problem with letting people drag him into trouble on the promise of friendship.

Danny’s Chore’s list:

-deadly laundry with ectoplasm contaminated laundry machines to content with

-helping whoever wants to cook, cook, or being in charge of dinner most nights unless someone else wants to cook (breakfast is jazz’s job, maddie and jack are gently discouraged from cooking, jazz and danny usually or use to just grab take out for lunch if they had time)

-cleaning the lab

-dishes with ecto contaminated dishwasher are always a little dangerous damn appliances and their wills to reak havoc, jazz likes to help make sure it doesnt hurt anyone since its more dangerous then the laundry machines

-assembling weapons with parents for the vault, or incase of a huge ghost invasion so everyone has a chance at a weapon, danny usually just assembles the less dangerous stuff that doesnt require a lot of welding

-general house maintense, vacuuming and window cleaning while jazz mops and dusts 

-jazz cleans the weapons vault after learning dannys secret becouse its a lot less dangerous for her then for him and hes infinitly grateful

AND DONE thats some of my thoughts on what could be done with a re design of the characters and story beats listed, im tired of writing now but enjoyed getting this out

[scorpcorpse]

5/18/20 - type time 732-822pm

so yesterday i went on tinder just like i always do when im feeling extra bored and lonely. well anyway i matched with cute looking boy so he messages me. 

PS im writing all of this here because i feel weird telling my friends what was all said. i told them a bit but not everything.

so we end up talking, and surprisingly it was a good conversation. it was very random though. im laughing and smiling at my phone. my conversations die fast or are about topics i dont really care for. im always into the conversation though no matter what especially because i like talking to people. moving on, you cant send picture on tinder so he sends me his number while reassuring me that he wont be sending dick pics (yay). he’s ranting on and on, flooding my phone with compliments. we’re talking this whole quarantine to him thanking the universe he’s glad he’s talking to a person who is pretty and cool. we talk about all the weird interactions we’ve had on this app and how everyone is soooo horny. he goes to tell me he loves my hair, he says i look like the type of girl, in a show, if i had just gone through hell, and i were to run my fingers through my hair it would just fall back into over my face so perfectly. i was like wtf. i didnt know what to say because that is very very very far from the truth. i would just look like hell. we go on to talk about our personalities and whether we are more introverted or extroverted. he’s more introvert while im more extrovert. i told him though it kind of changes depending on the situation like if i was on a date or getting serious with a person. we talk about how we hate it when people are mean to others by telling others to be quiet when theyre being too loud when it isn’t bothering anyone (does that make sense) like if youre having a good time by yourself and someone tells you to shut up or be quiet because it’s annoying them. he said he would never ever tell me to be quiet. he’s only really loud when he’s excited or passionate about something. we talk more of our dating life, he has a bigger dating pool than me though. he asks me again for the fifth time later; how am i doing, are you bangin, are you sewing sweaters? he wants to know everything. this all has me confused and intrigued. is it weird that i feel like he is very interested in actually talking to me. he asks me if i would be willingly to break quarantine to hang out. i tell him quarantine is okay eh.. im holding up okay, i do need to worry about my big head that only has two brain cells left. i also tell him im the biggest broke bitch he’ll ever meet. he says i wont ask you to pay for anything so dont worry your big head. he understands i dont want to go out. he says we can just talk and hangout over facetime. he proceeds to ask if he can ft me right now. its 2am and i look like a fucking mess. i say im a catfish he says fuck it, im half awake and im not looking for looks. next thing i know he’s calling. we talk for three hours. 

what happens in those next three hours is weird. i dont even know what happened. well immediately i ask him about his tattoos so he gives me the whole run down of his tattoos on his arms. there super cool i like them. my favorite word is yuck and apparently that’s his too because he has that tattooed on his wrist. the meaning is sad kind of he said thats how he felt about himself when he was younger so that drove him to doing that tattoo to himself. he has another arm tattoo where he throws a small detail of him having it to remind him of his friend, his old life of being on the streets and being addicted to drugs. this threw me off because he brushed over it like it was nothing. i didn’t know what else to say. i said uh okay. i wanted to scream are you okay? are you sober now? how are you? but nothing came out. he talks of his other tattoos. conversation changes to him complimenting me again. he wants to see my while face instead just my eyes and nose. i tell him about piercings. he talks about his band. he talks about the punk community. he’s rambling but it doesn’t bother me because i like how soft and soothing his voice is. he continues telling me how pretty i am, like he doesn’t stop for like two minutes. at this point i tell him im not going to respond to you anymore, im not going to take it. he tells me to take it. i take it. i dont believe him though. he can’t see my body, he can barely see my face. i have ance and my face is fat. i know i look disgusting. as he continues to say nice things about me i feel like he’s lying because no one does that. i feel like he’s saying to just make fun of me. im hating all of this. i try not to blush. im smiling. i always change the subject when he makes me feel weird and uncomfortable by saying okay or alrighty anyway. he asks me where are you from, whats make me, me? i try to think of things to say. i tell him about my being in california with no family. i tell him that the one thing that matters the most to me if my relationship with my little sister and all my friends. he agrees because same. he goes on to relate and tells me he’s all alone too. he tells me his dad is gone, his mom is too. he’s an alcoholic. he’s sober now he’s been sober for a year now. he’s okay. i tell him im sorry. im proud of you and how far you have come. im always here if you want to talk. he says no no no no dont say any of that stuff. i tell him again and that i mean it. i really do mean it too. (IF NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE AND YOURE STILLING READING THANK YOU AND ILY, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WITH OBSESSIVE OR ADDICTIONS please be there for them, it gets super hard to be there but try and help them push through another day) we go on to more random talking. before i finally get sleepy and he says he’s gonna let me go and sleep. he asks if we can see each other. he tells me when he first saw me he wanted to fuck me but he knew that wouldn’t make him feel any better. he’d still be alone. he then decided to message me because he actually felt like putting in the effort to get to know me. not just for sake of fucking me but to know me like he seems to do a little now. he doesn’t much know about me though. he asks if we can talk tomorrow. he says i hope we can actually meet up and im totally cool with just hanging out with you and just vibing. we dont have to do anything. i just want to chill with you. i tell him thanks for telling me all of this. i appreciate it because many guys dont say any of this. i say yes we can talk tomorrow, i’ll text you. we can be friends and once this all settles down maybe we can meet in person. he then tells me, im only going to say this once and im never going to remind you again. im cool with friends with you but that’s not my intention. i want to be more than friends, i want to your person, your boyfriend. but until youre ready after a while of us talking and when it crosses your mind where you like me and think of me differently then we can move on to being more. i was just sitting starring at my phone in shock. i didnt know what to do or say. i was confused. in my mind i wss like okay yes we have a 2 hour text convo and a 3 hour phone call but what. you cant say of this after that can you. i agreed because it was the only that could come out of my mouth at the time. he says okay, my name, i’ll you go and sleep. goodnight. i tell him goodnight. we hang up the phone. now i turn my body around to my back on the bed starring at the ceiling saying what the hell just happened. i fall asleep. 

IM sORRY for my ramble. i was in shock and im confused and scared like what if turns out to be bad for me. but all the compliments, the soothing voice, the small hints well actually big hints of his battle with addiction. ps he also tells me about his anger issues and therapy. i feel weird. i slowly started to be seduced by him, like he started to seduce me. iykyk lmao. 

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

[sentofighta]

on the previous post note; muses’ affection expression (if they have partner or not)

Einar

he will let you pet and feed his cat. make his food because he HATES homemade food. compromise and let you hug him whenever you want. fix his clothes or touch his head. now to harder level. comfortable with you seeing his right magetik arm. comfortable with you seeing his bare chest with the scar and tattoo. sleep next to him and hug him while sleeping. will hug back because he will definitely want to hug you back (no sniff your hair shut up.) will use cat to talk to you because he is embarrassed to ask if you want to do something or go out. let you kiss him whenever you want. starts headbutting your back whenever he wants attention because he is a literal cat. pURRS when he is given attention. will start hugging you from the back maybe even carry you so he can sit you on his lap because he wanna hug all of you. he is tall sonvabinch he probably think of you as his cat. is it bad? idk. talk to him not me. excuse him to stop being shy about his fetish and sniff your hair because u definitely have nice smell mm yes. 

Eight

redirects. innocent af.  ok but shows up to ask if you wanna join his training. jogs nearby where you are/sit so he can see you. does the oh coincidence thing but it is not. will climb a tree to pick up an apple for you if you looked at it. stares into your general direction but has the cool calm poker face to cover it up at first. blushes a little whenever he sees you because you make his heart go boom boom and he did not feel like this before. the i might be sick because i feel weird whenever i see this person. sudden realization because he actually has good amount of smart braincells that he is in love. it could either go i am going to forget this because we are at war and i cant get distracted OR this is new for me and i am interested in knowing more about this route. whichever route you are bound to hyper active tiny boyfriend who will punch people for you. and has like the purest smile ever. have you seen my son smile that he obliterated the sun and the moons? yeah. 

Machina

actually knows how to flirt when he wants to. generally nice and caring to all but extra for his crush. will show up magically whenever you need help because he has the sixth sense (thanks to his fear lol) will help you study and train if you wished for it! hey wanna.....talk about chocobos? wiggle eyebrows. do you believe in collecting chocobo feathers? because my wish was granted; talking to you. will confess at the right time because he cant hide his feelings anymore. will hug and kiss you every time he sees you if you allowed him--well, hugs mostly because he likes being around you. obligatory nap around the chocobos. brushing your hair and playing with it definitely. h*ND h*LDING !!!!!!! EXTREME! carries you like the princess you are because he loves you to bits. high affection when he carries u, sits u on his lap then wraps his dracula cape around you both. just the cape wrapping is his thing because now you are so close to him and chu when no one is looking. ok the final stage could be you see him crying because lets face it he fucked up a lot haha~~~ u know ~~ usual machina dumb onagiri kyun stuff.

Zack

EXTREME FLIRTING WHAT IS GOOD BOY? are you an angel? can i offer my services for you?? stronk boy and soldier impressed or what? head pats. h*nd h*ldong god at an early stage because he means it. will make your wishes come true even if you wanna go to the moon. will make stuff for you. smiles brightly shinra uses him to generate electricity. tells u a lot that he is proud of you. tells u a lot he likes you. tells you a lot that he will protect you (and if u fight bonus that you willhave his back too) treasures everything you do and call you cute.  doting boyfo. actually very softy will cry if you put on a sad movie. carries you a lot because he has the stronk to do it. are you impressed x2?????? i love you~~~ hey hey do you know what? i love you~ listens to you and to your rambling. will beat up anyone who hurts you. excuse him to nap on you because this is his best spot. a lot of hugs. expect a lot of them hugs. hugs. hUGS. hes more of cheek and forehead chus because they are more playful but will give lip kiss if it was more serious and important situation. 

Sohrab

 . . . .if he allowed you to be near him when he is synthesizing that is the first step. initiate a conversation himself EVEN if he does not have anything to ask out of you. actually keep an eye on your vitals because you are...important test subject. makes things for you but calls them test items and he does not need them so take them. maybe he can slip a gift or two because he felt like it. does not nap around strangers but around you he is...fine. actually tells you he might see you in a different light but unsure how so dont expect much. gradually he will let you be close to him maybe touch his face or hair. no hugs or sudden kisses yet but if he prepared himself..it might be allowed. he is good at pip talk. also expect some sewing because mommy taught him how! count on him to fix things for you. gets tiny upset if you dont give him your broken things to fix or mend them. rely...on me ok? i may not be a strong fighter but....i can do other things. rare moment of a smile will definitely melt your heart. once he make up his mind, he will ask if you are willing to stick with a madman who probably likes science and alchemy maybe a little bit than you? 

Lucina

hey. wanna spar? compliment you a lot. smiles!!!!!!!!! more spar please. actually make effort to find you around many people but does not approach. just seeing you makes her happy for some reason. smile and wave. spar???????? talk to you more! compliment you for doing good job! now you have her watch your back and be a little bit reckless to protect you. apologize but she is not sorry to protect you. b-because you are an important friend . . . . . friend ? ? ? ?  lucina exe crush down. goes to read books about this explosion in her chest every time she sees you. books say to act natural. time to ignore you for a bit because it is said in the book play hard to get. regret decision when you mention if you did something wrong she will aPOLOGIZE ALOTALOTALOT! NO YOU DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG IMSRRRYYYYY. new tactic. spar??????????????????????????????? please notice me. more effort in cooking things you like for the lunch break. you might die of poisoning but it is made with love!!!!! spar. . . . realize she cant confess, she cant express herself but in a spar. uses spar to tell you that she might be perhaps like you!!!!!!!! that is why she wanna be stronger!!!!!!!!!!!! blushing princess lucina of ylisse you will be executed by her dad if you make her cry. but actually cries if you say you like her back. cue her sudden doubts because not fit enough to be a ‘woman’ since she knows next to nothing about how to be a good partner. will promise to trust you and her heart. NAGA ALLOWS FOR AND HOLDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!! then she can be comfortable with hugs after tiny bit. you could for chus and she wouldnt mind but have mercy on her kokoro. expect her to chus your cheek every time she sees you because my S-support for life~ 

Roland

does not beat around the bushes. if he likes someone and is sure will confess. easy. got the ok he will start with whatever they are comfortable with. naga has blessed this and allowed hand holding. lets go for a picnic in the forest or anywhere. animals come because he is their friend! now you are animals friend because you are his girlfriend. very gentleman. does not do anything 18+. plus he probably cant due to his OCD so you are the only one after lucina he can hold her hand no problem. dont worry he may like his sister but he does not speak about her when you are around. leans against you and you can too! tells u he trust you so much. lets climb a tree and enjoy the scenery. or we can ride on Vesperus, his horse! listens to you and actually try to give you advice if he can. a courtesy kiss to your cheek~! he is trying his best! smiles from his heart it has been a long time someone made him feel loved like this. 

Aiden

go home she is a narcissist. but if someone managed she is just a dumb who will make your life miserable because she will prank the shit out of you at first. slowly warms up to the idea she likes someone. has a pretty good idea about where you were what were you doing ect because she was watching. she is watching you. make sure you have eaten. have you slept? compliment you if you impressed her. be more comfortable to rehearse her lines around you. asks you to help her rehearse. wanna play something together lets say walk on a tight rope??????? lol wuss. no hugs or touching till now. admits she might have something for you but....you may not like to be with an orphan of no lineage. pass that? well, then are you ready to accept she is criminal? pass that then are you ready to accept she is going to make you regret this choice??? because she will make every day of your life like a circus! excuse her to sweep your hand to hold it and tug you somewhere only for the two of you. let her hold your hand for a bit it is ...nice. leans against you. 

Balan

listen....i dont want to joke about this but...he is...probably over the human interactions because he married his job but i assure you he is very loyal man. thats it. 

Feiruz

yEEELLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does not realize she loves you until one of her sisters point she mentions you like ten times in every conversation. is very kind and pure and diligent. will not force herself on you in any way just subtly gives you the things you like after going through the trial and error a couple of times! keeps notes of you in her ‘People journal’ because she is a scatterbrain. maybe draw a tiny heart around your name shhh love interest. is very happy and loud when she sees you!!!!! HE-LLLOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! asks about your health and if you had eaten properly and slept well. offers more gift from her own farm to impress you with her work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smiles~~~~ smiles even more around you because you make her happy. does not confess. she is not the type to. more like i will just watch because deep inside believes she can be loved due to some bullying in school and only her fam likes her (who likes a scatterbrain who keeps messing things up???) if you confess expect waterfall and ugly crying because she cant believe it is happening ;;;;a;;;; promises to do her best to make you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she will do her best to make you happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 you made her happy beyond words and now just she clings to you please dont be upset with her she will do her best to not cause any trouble! but she bounces back and runs to bake something for this occasion~ time to feed boyfo! say ah~ be ready for fatting sessions because she will cook and bake a lot of things!! well, when she has time after her farm work now she is super excited and motivated! is shy but will give cheek chus if she can reach. likes to tug your shirt from behind so you can lower yourself so she can properly give you a kiss to your cheek/forehead. wishes you best of luck in your job!!!!!!!!!!! good luck!!! come home h-h-h-h-h-h-h...eeeeh....h-h-h-..HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;;;U;;;

[coup-de-maine]

How to enter a fandom - RPC

Hey guys, time for a friendly PSA from yours truely~

So I’ve been in and out of a lot of fandoms, made friends, enemies, frenemies, grave mistakes and happy accidents. I also see a lot of people come in other fandoms. Most of yall do great but I see some people carry in this weird sort of self deprecating attitude that can immediately turn rpers away from them, which results in; more of that self deprecation. So Im here to hopefully help out with the best ways to enter a fandom or an rpc, make your presence known and make lots of wonderful friends.

Now the first, and most important thing, and I notice a ton of people struggle with it is:

General attitude. 

Let me give two examples of some first time posts.

“Hey! I’m new to the fandom. I know my bio and my theme sucks but would anyone like to rp? Maybe?”

VS.

“Hey! I’m new to the fandom. My bio and rules are located here, though they’re still under construction I’m really eager to develop them with interactions!”

Now I know the first one is tempting for a lot of reasons. You might not even feel like its all that bad, but up next to the second one it actually sounds a little...depressing, monotone, dry. Even though they start the same, one ends with me feeling like: this person really doesn’t put effort into things, they dont even really want to be here. All my threads with them are going to be lazily written or probably written with half baked enthusiasm.

The second person is happy to be here, eager to interact, admits that since they’re a new blog not everything is perfect. Yet, they don’t talk down on themselves or make it seem like anyone who talks to them will only be taking pity on them.

This is actually a big problem I see in the rpc. Making people take pity on you for interactions and the rule with that is simple:

don’t make people feel like they have to take pity on you. 

It’s a knee jerk reaction, I know. We’re all awkward humans on the internet who want to play up our faults. Who wants to say “My stuff is SO awesome! It’s the best”??? 

Well. You do. You’re new to a fandom. People already have established relationships, character arks, possibly with another version of the muse youre playing. Backstories so detailed it’ll make your head spin. You are literally selling yourself to these other rpers. Don’t sell them “A vacuum cleaner that sucks. No, not sucks up the dirt, it just sucks. Like me, Im trash and dont even have a working vacuum” No one wants to buy a vacuum cleaner that sucks.

Hate to break it to you, but when you say you suck, or your stuff sucks; people are gunna believe you. Or they’re just gunna pity you. And thats not great either. 

Heck you might think; why not? So long as they rp with me, whats wrong with that? 

Well... lots of things but mostly; pity isn’t a good feeling. Nobody wants to feel guilted into rping with you. Imagine seeing someone on your dash constantly posting about how no one likes them, their character or interacting with them. How they wanna die because they never get asks, no one likes their starters. (Sound extreme? I’ve seen it.) It makes you feel bad right? It makes you wanna like them but like- where do you even start??? They don’t even like them?? What common ground do you have?? “Hey, I see you hate yourself... uh... I hate you too?” Not great. Actually bad. You don’t know how to approach this person without becoming an emotional crutch, and you know they’ll latch on to you and suck every positive emotion out of your body so how do you win?

So lesson one is; People don’t want to be forced to feel so bad that they rp with you, they want to feel inspired to. Inspire some dudes! (or non-dude identifying people)

Presentation!

This is everything. Present yourself. You don’t need flashy icons or a cool promo- let me tell you, I’ve made some shitty promos in my life. See Here

That was my promo for a long as time. Until it was THIS that a friend made for me (A friend that I made. Through how awesome I presented myself. Thanks Vee, if you see this I still love you)

I can’t stress enough how important attitude is because I’ve had both a shitty attitude and a great one in the RPC and let me tell you, nothing kills a blog faster than a shitty attitude. Wanna make a self deprecating posts about that meme that you got 0 asks for? NUH UH. Think again. PITY = BAD, SHORT LASTING FRIENDSHIPS. INSPIRED = SUPER AWESOME HAPPY FUN TIMES FOREVER.

Yo, present yourself in a way that makes people wanna approach you. Get them interested, say something wacky or edgy or if your character is self deprecating then self deprecate through them but DO IT IN A FUN WAY. The people who care about icons and fancy promos usually aren’t worth lasting friendships either. Sometimes they literally spend more time formatting than writings something worth while for you. (some of you really balance it and just love formatting but u know im not talking about u Im talking about those that literally wont talk to us that dont)

So present yourself well and be genuine.

--- WAIT WAIT WAIT- be genuine?? What if my genuine self is self deprecating and negative? 

[JOHNNY TEST NOISE] 

HELL NO shut the what up I know you’re not, I know that’s a reflex to cover up how insecure you are, I know you hate how pathetic and small you feel so you point out all the things wrong with you before someone else can. That’s not you, and you are capable of more than that.

Dude. (and non-dude identifying peeps) I’m gunna say it again. I’m gunna say it a million times; one day it will sink in. Everybody feels that way. 

What?? Octo ur so cool and confident tho

You know how you never noticed?? CANT SEE MY HANDS SHAKE THROUGH THE COMPUTER.

DONT KNOW HOW LONG I HESITATED BEFORE SENDING THAT ASK MEME TO YA.

The internet is a playground because you can trick people into believing whatever you want about yourself. YEP even good things!!! You don’t have to wear your flaws on your sleeve, and you certainly don’t have to wear them like a full body cast that prevents you from doing anything fun in your life.

Take the cast off, take a risk. You literally have nothing to lose. Especially if no one interacts with you as is anyways.

Be mindful

This is more of a trick I use to make myself feel better. I don’t follow a lot of people so my dash is pretty slow. It’s fairly easy to tell when people are and aren’t active/online so I literally have to trick myself sometimes but;

If you reblog a meme and get nothing, step back and ask yourself; am I sure anyone even saw it? and are the people who did maybe to shy to send anything? Or maybe nothing in that meme applies to their character.

As a mute character I am VERY restricted to what memes I reply to. As a character who speaks VERY LITTLE I am VERY restricted to what dialogues I can send at all. This means I’m required to edit memes a little (this is allowed by most meme creators btw) or I need a very good relationship with a character in order to say/sign that many words at them.

And worse case scenario, queue it and reblog it again/later. Its no biggie, some memes don’t make it.

Self reflect

Check out people on the dash. Do they have interactions? What are they like? Is their character more welcoming? Maybe you’re character is more intimidating. You might need to actually seek out interaction.

Tumblr has this huge enigma where everyone wants asks but no one wants to send them. Curious anons come from someone, magic anons come from your peers, followers, friends. Some of them are pretty obvious. Want asks? Send them. We really need to get the ball rolling with this because its honestly a problem. Show some initiative and reach out. It actually feels pretty good seeing someone react to your outrageous anon. And its a lot of stress relief if you play an otherwise very serious character to get to branch out and be silly.

So you send asks, you like starter calls- why isn’t it working?

Well, a stranger knocks on your door and tries to get to know you. Its a little awkward- it can work sure in some cases. But in most you’ll probably close the door and phone the police.

The RPC isn’t as strange as that but what’s easier? Talking to a muse you’ve never met from a blog you’ve never seen before? Or writing a thread with your best bud, throwing in inside jokes and references to your favourite shows- teasing each other about that one embarrassing thing that happened to your muse- yeah. Yeah you get it.

If you have history or at least an idea what someone is like, you will want to interact with them more. I don’t know if you’re some mean... meanie pants whos gunna smack my muse because he offered you a cookie. And maybe you are, but if I don’t know you, or know that your muse is deeply traumatized by cookies, I might take that as you saying “Ew no get away I never wanna rp with you”.

It sounds harsh, but I KNOW it happens. It STILL happens to me, even with people I’m friends with. Even if someone has multiple blogs and I get on fine with one muse, if the other hates me I might get uneasy about sending in asks cause I feel like I’m directly bothering the mun (who I love on this blog but WHAT IF THEY START HATING ME THERE TOO???)

Separation is tricky. We all get jealous or feel neglected when our partners focus on another thread/ship or send mean angsty replies which is why its important to check yourself remind yourself you have value, mun =/= muse and that it’s all in good fun.

Have Rules

UGH no!!! Not rules I hate rules, I dont want to restrict anyone!

Listen. I get it. I was a rule-less blog for a long time. But you know what? You need them. Not just for you, but for the people who wanna interact. I still feel the need to ask people who have rules what they are and aren’t comfortable with. You might not realize it but shit can go down in rps especially in certain fandoms. Even if its just the basics. Write them. They matter.

Unless you’re fine with someone literally controlling your character, or a blog you dont even follow who RPs David Letterman tags you in a smutty thread where your muse and him are married and he’s heavily pregnant with 4 narwal baby’s I- I think you can see where I’m going.

If its just the basics, thats fine, everyone loves seeing that. No god modding, not forced shipping, ect- great. Less for me to remember. Add to it if you need to. Everyone experiences rp different. Make your experience a comfortable one.

(And stay tf away from me Preggo-letterman)

Step away.

If you’re feeling negative, just step away. Do not make a big post about it alerting everyone who follows you because they might not all respond well. If you have close friends in then fandom you can go to, talk to them, vent a little, or just remove yourself and get those feelings out. But remember that no one here is equipped to be your therapist, and we cant all be expected to take the burden from you. It is up to you to regulate your emotions. Use coping skills but please don’t make the fandom or your blog a toxic place to be.

You don’t feel good, and no one reading your posts feels good, and building friendships on not feeling good is just... completely not good.

Im not saying you must be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but feeling bad feels bad and even though rping is just a hobby and a past time you are still reaching into other peoples lives. Leave a good impact, try to be someone you would want to meet in the rpc. Make it a better place.

Tips and Tricks

If you leave with nothing else, please take these:

Send Messages. 

IM people, send them asks, get to know them before RPing.

Be kind.

Be generous.

Be enthusiastic.

Be happy.

[chocafe]

— ygtb ep. 9 reaction

hi there! i decided to write my reactions and thoughts on episode nine as i watched it. the way i wrote everything was pretty messy, so just click “keep reading” if you would like to continue on since i wrote quite a lot! if you haven’t seen episode nine, then this is my warning for you to not continue ahead since this contains spoilers.

i got a batch of cookies and the video is on 1080p i think i am ready

but i’m not mentally ready

i love it how ygtb gets straight to the point within one minute, but produce 101 is over here taking fifteen minutes to even get the episode started

ya’ll think i can find the fansite i bought my junkyu slogan from in the audience?

IM SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING THE ADIDAS LOGO WE GET IT YOU GET MORE SCREEN TIME THAN THE ACTUAL TRAINEES DO

omg the voting system its giving me produce 101/48 flashbacks i don’t deserve this

˗ˏˋ boomerang team ˎˊ˗

hyunsuk’s new hair color looks so nice on him ♡____♡  im still a blonde!hyunsuk supremacist though

out of all wanna one songs they chose boomerang

there’s burn it up, beautiful, light, and literally every wanna one song

but they chose boomerang with their whole chest

Wannables We Attack

HUH SLEEVELESS HYUNSUK

oh my god hyunsuk’s roots are overgrown now i know why they needed to dye his hair

jihoon cant say he’s fine when he just messed up his knee im really going to (softly) punch him :(((

HIS WING WING WING WING WAS SO SOFT

perhaps yoshinori is a rap god

yeongue gives me <major> daehwi vibes in this performance

i know i’m supposed to take him serious in this, but uwu my son

jihoon singing seongwoo’s part? huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh my mf heart has just crumbled into a million of pieces!

it’s a win for me tonight #Haylees1stWin

SHUT UPPPP I DONT WHAT THE FUCK HYUNSUK IS RAPPING ABOUT BUT I LOVE HIS RAPPING SO MUCH

dohwan needed more “shinning parts” in the performance (╥﹏╥)

i feel bad because everyone was given a part to stand out, but dohwan really wasn’t given one to showcase his abilities (unless the editors cut it out since they don’t show us the whole performance)

imagine if i was in this crowd and i just bribe everyone around me with money to vote for my favorite trainee

˗ˏˋ growl team ˎˊ˗

this is like when you play dodge ball and people choose their teammates, but you’re the last one to get chosen

except, that’s everyone in the growl team

:-(

they got stuck with the “left over song” but growl is a TIMELESS BOP. PERIOD.

jaehyuk keeps on burdening himself and that truly makes me upset because i’ve been in his position before

it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to be where he’s at because he has time to improve himself and prove everyone wrong

they really made this stage their own red carpet

i really liked how the camera followed them on stage since that’s exactly how exo used to perform growl

the performance was good because you have to take into account that they have all only been trainees for a few months

˗ˏˋ dumb and dumber team ˎˊ˗

dumb and dumber team is here to take the #1 spot

BYOUNGGON WITH HIS HUGE ASS BEANIE IS SO FREAKING CUTE I LOVE THIS MAN

bex made his appearance again- we stan!

“i don’t understand what’s happening” me when my teacher chooses me to answer a question in front of the whole class

the dumb and dumber team was so good??? like i was really immersed in the performance??

they especially did a great job when they came down to perform RIGHT in front of the fans because i know a majority of fans love it when idols come down in the middle of a performance/concert and interact with them in some way or another

it was like a concert where everyone’s favorite parts are when the idols disperse and just have fun on stage and feel the same energy as the hyped up fans

no wonder they got #1

oh yeah and btw i spoiled everything by reading kfan tweets last week so i know all of the team ranks, who got eliminated, ect.

my friend texted me just now telling me that we predicted everything except for the last ten minutes so i guess i wont be surprised until the ending

anyways . . . let’s get it

˗ˏˋ dna team ˎˊ˗

wait what? weren’t they supposed to show us winner mentoring the dna team

that’s it?

okay

THEY MADE HARUTO SING TAEHYUNG’S PART BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SIMILAR LOW VOCAL RANGE ARGHHHDHSSH I APPROVE

haruto: TAKE IT

keita: ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ

THE RODENT IN MY ATTIC IS FINALLY COMPLIMENTING SEUNGHUN

IT IS WHAT HE DESERVES WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO YOU HAG

it took yg two years to finally notice seunghun’s potential while it took me one minute

petition to have me as the new ceo

they literally said hey everyone in the audience hold up for like 10 minutes we need to bring out these light up podiums

hmmmmmmm

hmmmamamama

hhhyyayyyuahajs

im going to start cryinfdds

HSJFLSJFLSKSFL

THIS IS BITTERSWEET BECAUSE DUMB&DUMBER ARE HAPPY THAT THEY WON BUT THAT MEANS THE TRAINEES THEY’VE TRAINED WITH HAVE THE HIGHEST POTENTIAL OF BEING ELIMINATED REALLY MY HEART HURTS

I DONT LIKE THIS FEELING MARTY IM SCARED

im screaming “dont cry” at my laptop screen but why am i crying at the same time

“CHAIRMAN YANG PLEASE LOOK THIS WAY”

me in the crowd: *throws an egg at him and runs off*

WE RIOT

LADIES AND HATED HUMAN BEINGS WE RIOT

ALL MY HATERS GON RIOT WE GON MOB YG

yg use your card

yg bring seunghun and keita back

I SAW RUMORS SAYING HE BRINGS ONE OR BOTH OF THEM BACK SO YG PLEASE JUST BRING THEM BACK

keita telling seunghun that they did well because he’s always seen as the positive/happy kid, but he’s also on the verge of tearing up :(((((

keita sweetie its okay to cry too

and seunghun being mostly disappointed that he’s failing his mother like sweetie ITS ALRIGHT YOUR MOTHER IS PROUD OF YOU NO MATTER WHAT

i hate survival shows why do i still watch these stuff

hi i actually stopped writing my reactions after this because i was a little bitch and couldnt type anymore so i just went to go spam my friends with audio messages of me yelling

maybe i can upload my audios i sent my friends if they’re not too annoying (trust me, they’re annoying)

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

seunghun will rise again

the editors are trying to make it a surprise when seunghun is the only trainee wearing a grey(?) sweater, with a red font, black undershirt and light washed blue jeans

SEUNGHUN NATION MAKE SOME NOISE

SEUNGHUN!!!! WHEN!! YOU!!! SMILE!!! IT!! MAKES!!! ME!!! HAPPY!!!!!!!!

[29anima-blog]

Best. Convo. Ever.

3:27AM    4/03/19

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like sad.

Stranger: Hello

You: hello

You: hows it going fellow sad human :)

You: :(*

Stranger: Not actually a human

You: :O same here

Stranger: It's going alright, not really that good

Stranger: How about you

You: mehh could be better

Stranger: I feel that

You: anything particular or is it just life lol?

Stranger: Yeah, just need some inspiration to get me going again

You: aha i getchu

Stranger: How are things on your end? What can make your life better

You: ahh thats a big question

You: lets just say im quite an overthinker

Stranger: I know the feeling

You: So I worry too much about what I want to die with my life etc

You: but im going through a "not giving a shit phase" atm lol

Stranger: Yeah, that's a big thing for a lot of people

Stranger: I'm sure you'll find something you'll enjoy

Stranger: Umm are you in any programs? Like that the school offers

Stranger: Maybe you'll find something you enjoy there

Stranger: Its always good to have hobbies

You: hmm not really im quite an antisocial person so i hadnt considered it

You: i do music on the side for fun

You: but its quite pricey hahah

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: Hobbies can definitely be expensive

You: yeah im currently saving up for some equipment so

Stranger: That's nice, goals yass

You: well what do you like to do for fun?

Stranger: ATM I'm into gaming

You: oo me too

You: although i havnt played games for a while

Stranger: Ahh

Stranger: I play shooters mostly

Stranger: I do enjoy other games occasionally

You: yaas pc or a console?

Stranger: Mostly console

Stranger: A little pc here and there

You: ahh i see

Stranger: Yep

Stranger: I'm just in love with edits in videos I want to be more involved with the community but like you I am also sort of antisocial at times

You: Ahhhh

You: you do edits?

Stranger: A little but I'm really not good

You: ah i doubt that

You: what types of edits

You: i wish i was good at video editing haha

Stranger: ATM kinda like a montage

You: ah thats cool

Stranger: I love the community but I'm just so scared of it tbh

You: ah i feels

Stranger: I've never really had anxiety and stuff, but I understand now

Stranger: There's a few people in the community I have a real hard time talking to

Stranger: Like my heart is bumpin' super fast and sometimes I get a sinking feeling

Stranger: Do you have any solutions?

You: aw one of my best friends is like that

You: hmm

You: well recently she's been forcing herself into social situations

You: umm

You: i would start small maybe just talk to a stranger on the bus or something

Stranger: I hate lfgs but it'll probably help

You: ahh understandable

Stranger: I suck online, in person I'm alright

Stranger: Idk why that is

You: i dont really like social situations but it doesnt make me too nervous

You: ahh really?its the opposite for me hahah

You: in person im awkward asf

Stranger: I can be too, but it's usually when I want people to stop talking to me

You: aha

Stranger: I'm not really one to tell someone to go away or shut up

You: For me it would take a while for me to be myself around you if id just met you

You: like id have to chill with you for a long time

You: yeahh me too tbh

Stranger: Yeah, I feel that

You: i get especially awkward if i like someone and im talking to them lmfao

Stranger: Oh lmao

You: thats the only time ill really be nervous

Stranger: Last time I was like that was middle school haha

You: ahh hahah

You: wait how old is middle school lol

Stranger: Do you play any sports or something?

You: we dont use those terms in the UK lol

You: yeahh basketball and I go to the gym a lot

Stranger: Umm like 12, 13, 14

You: ahh so how old are you now?

You: and are you into sports?

Stranger: 19 :/

Stranger: Yeah, wrestling

You: ahh 16 here

Stranger: Oh boy

You: Oo thats awesome

Stranger: Yeah it was fun

Stranger: Especially if you're good

You: i took up kick boxing recently

Stranger: Because then you can use it as like a line

You: i enjoy it way more than karate

You: ahh right

Stranger: Talking to a girl or something, be like aye come watch my matches

Stranger: Don't recommend sitting with them until after you shower tho

You: hahaha

You: ah well I am a girl so don't think i'd be doing that lol

Stranger: Idk some of the girls out here are spitting game

Stranger: Like when I was in school they were smooth af

You: lmaoo

You: id have to be extremely comfortable around someone to have game lol

Stranger: I'm just saying it's just natural for some

You: yeah ive seen

Stranger: One of my best friends, she had a guy miss his stop and go to her house I was like woah

You: god damn lol

Stranger: They ended up dating for two years

You: wow

Stranger: Yeah man, some people out here are experts, I've only been in a handful of relationships

Stranger: So I'm not the best when it comes to keeping people around

You: ahh i get youu

Stranger: Yeah, a lot of my relationships ended pretty bad

Stranger: How about you?

You: How old were you when u had your first serious relationship

You: aw damn that sucks

Stranger: Like 13

You: aha 14 here

Stranger: Wait what do you mean by serious?

You: when I had my first boyfriend

Stranger: Like sexual stuff or like

You: no just like

You: i dont even know what i meant tbh

Stranger: Yeah then, 13

You: rightt

Stranger: We we're together for a while going to each other houses to hang out and stuff

Stranger: I loved her family

Stranger: Super friendly

Stranger: We just drifted apart and I kinda was mean

Stranger: How did yours go?

You: ah suckss

You: well uh it was great at first

You: i was 14 he was 15

Stranger: Ooo

You: like we had a lot in common and many mutual friends

You: we were together for about a year

You: thinks just got ugly the last few months like he was really aggressive

You: and then yeahh that was that

Stranger: Like how?

Stranger: Idk I was just giving her the cold shoulder without even realizing it

You: at first he would just lose his temper and throw shit around or punch something

You: but then he hit me one time in front of all of my friends

Stranger: Yeah, that's a no no

You: and I was actually willing to forgive him but my friends didn't let me to

You: and im glad they didnt

Stranger: That's good

You: i was quite naive then but

You: nah lol

Stranger: I meant like them not letting you forgive him ahha

You: yeahh I know :p

You: were you in love with her

You: the girl you grew apart form

Stranger: Umm sort of

Stranger: Hard to explain

You: yeah love is a tricky word

Stranger: I tend to use it in the wrong sense

Stranger: Idk, she was really cool, we didn't really share many things but she was understanding

Stranger: Because we were completely different people

You: ahh

Stranger: At the end of the day, she had both her parents her whole life and was sheltered, I didn't so I knew way more than her in that sense

You: ahh :( must of been hard

Stranger: Eh, I had my uncles to keep me in check

Stranger: And even tho my dad wasn't there a lot to help me, he still showed me a lot of things

Stranger: Like never lay a hand on a woman, and look out for others

You: ah i see

Stranger: I'm the second oldest

Stranger: 2 brothers 2 sisters

You: ah wow

You: ive just got an older brother

Stranger: Was he nice ?

You: Well

You: when we were younger we pretty much hated eachother and he always hit me lol

You: but now he's more supportive and a much calmer guy

Stranger: Lmao

You: he had loads of issues i cant really hate him anymore

You: but he's quite a jealous guy so hes scared of other boys lol

Stranger: I feel that

Stranger: Oh really now? Like he doesn't have guy friends or

You: yeah hes been like a dad to me pretty much lol

You: nah he does but like

You: hes scared of my interactions with guys because, in his words he "knows what guys are like"

Stranger: That's true

You: so he would threaten me to not have a boyfriend and shit lol

Stranger: Yeah

You: im kind of glad he was like that though

Stranger: Have you been to a part yet?

Stranger: Party

You: prevented me from doing dumb shit

You: Yeah one

You: not really my thing

Stranger: Go to a few more then you'll see what he means

You: Yeah I pretty much understood from that party hahha

You: pretty much an excuse to drink, smoke and have sex

Stranger: Yep

Stranger: Like we come from different places

Stranger: Out here in Illinois people are like less picky

You: oh really?

Stranger: A lot of my friends back back in middle school lost their virginity to the same girl

You: whoa

Stranger: So like I your brother said, he knows what guys want

Stranger: When I mean a lot I mean like 3

You: damn

Stranger: Idk, I just don't like the idea of my mans being with the same girl as me

Stranger: I've always been like that

You: yeah i get you

Stranger: I'm glad you're close to your brother I'm not close to my older brother

You: ah what about your other siblings?

Stranger: Closer but not super close

Stranger: I kinda keep to myself now

You: yeah im close with him in one sense, but theres a lot i cant talk to him about

You: ahh i feels

Stranger: Yeah, like when I was 15, I stopped talking to a lot of people

Stranger: Depression hit me hard

You: shit :/

Stranger: Yeah, shit can be tough especially if you don't talk to people

Stranger: Just a fyi, if you have issues find someone to talk to

You: yeah definitely

Stranger: But be careful because some people will use it against you

You: yeah ive always been a closed book

You: especially females!!

You: they love having dirt on somebody

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: That's how my umm relationship at 15 ended

Stranger: I told her what was going on and she told the whole school and stuff

You: wow wtf

Stranger: It was really bad because I was umm sent away for a little

You: jesus

Stranger: Yeah I was out for like two weeks

Stranger: 3 days at the hospital then about a little more than a week at the facility

You: ahh shit :c

Stranger: After that I didn't really trust anyone

Stranger: Tbh I only just started talking to people about my problems

You: yeah i get what that feels like people have broken my trust a lot growing up

You: yeah same really

You: I was forced into counselling and i hating going at first

You: my counsellor saw i hated talking to people so she encouraged me to talk to a friend

Stranger: The person I had listening, I didn't really like her do I stopped going

Stranger: So*

You: and this friend i knew i could trust so i told her a lot

Stranger: That's good

Stranger: I grew away from my best friend

You: Yeahh it felt really unnatural so i just prefered talking to someone close

Stranger: There's just some things I can't tell him

You: Yeah i get you

You: I was scared i would drive her away if i told her certain things

Stranger: Idk I want to tell someone but I don't trust anyone

You: but i still told her a lot

Stranger: It's not about driving them away

You: someone in the family maybe?

Stranger: Its about them telling the person

Stranger: I told you how I'm not close to my brother but we have a lot in common and he's closer to the family than me

Stranger: So I can't really vent to my uncles or cousins

You: right

You: ermm

You: the things you wanted to talk abiout

You: is it something that can be used against you in a way?

Stranger: Sort of

Stranger: It's more or less like I'll say something then they'll bring stuff to just destroy my character and stuff

Stranger: The way we talk is people get really defensive and start attacking you if they don't like what you have to say

You: ah i understand

You: thats a shitty position to be in :c

Stranger: Yeah, I can't tell any of my online friends either because I don't want people to think different of me if they know I tried to commit suicide

Stranger: One of the people in the community I love knows because she was one of the first people I told

You: damn

Stranger: But she told her bf back in the day and he sent me a lot of hurtful messages

You: people can be really ignorant about these kinds of things so i get its hard to talk about

You: what the fuck

You: thats so messed up smh :(

Stranger: It was like 3ish years ago but I still remember it

Stranger: He isn't with her anymore but when I do end up talking to her, my stomach sinks so much

Stranger: And my heart beats really fast

You: crap

You: have you spoken to her about that?

Stranger: Honestly just thinking about her just makes me nervous, not really very briefly

Stranger: It was just catching up and she has changed as a person and I'm just scared tbh

You: ahh damn

Stranger: Honestly, this is the biggest reason why I don't feel motivated. This is why I need inspiration

You: what specifically

Stranger: The fact that she knows that I tried to commit suicide and like I said I want to play a bigger part of the community and she streams occasionally and I don't want the community to know. Because I know I'll get a lot of messages and stuff

Stranger: Hate stands out a lot more than support

You: ahh definitely i feel that

Stranger: It makes me really nervous

You: what do you think would help?

Stranger: I don't know

Stranger: I over think as well

Stranger: Like idk one of my good friends I've been playing with for a year straight kinda did some lame shit so

Stranger: I'm not really trusting anyone

You: ah damn

Stranger: We umm got into some illegal activities and he liked about something and it was something big

Stranger: So I don't know how much he'll do to make the like true even if it means one of us will get sent away to prison

Stranger: Lie

You: ohh shit

Stranger: Yeah, so I haven't talked to that guy in like 3 weeks or so

Stranger: So I'm on edge and don't trust anyone

You: thats understandable

You: given everything thats happened

Stranger: Thanks for listening

Stranger: Even tho I don't have solutions for everything I will try to talk to people a little more so I can be a bit more friendly

You: Thank you too stranger this has been quite a good talk

You: and i never do this kind of thing lol

Stranger: Oh?

Stranger: What do you usually do

You: Nothing really I just swim around in my thoughts

Stranger: Aww

Stranger: I wouldn't mind listening to some thoughts (:

You: Like I know there is a certain person I can trust but I hate worrying people or burdening them with my problems

You: ahh I appreciate that

You: I don't even know where to begin haha

Stranger: It's cool just say whatever's on your mind

You: Okay just so you get a better understanding I'll tell you a bit about me lol

Stranger: I'm all ears

You: Right so ill just start to when I was around 10 years old

You: I always felt different and I was quite isolated from people because of it

You: like i didnt really have friends because the ones I had ended up hating me or breaking my trust or some dumb shit

Stranger: What made you feel different? Anything in particular?

You: and I got bullied for like a year

Stranger: Ahh

You: Uhh well

You: I thought differently to everyone else

You: Like

You: everyone was so much more willing to be ignorant about things just because it made them happier

Stranger: Definitely, I know how dumb people can be

You: And everyone around me would be after small meaningless things and I felt like I always thought big

You: idk what im saying hahah but yeah people pretty much thought I was a weirdo and i got bullied for it

Stranger: A lot of people miss the big picture

Stranger: I never really got bullied

You: so when i was 11 i had my first real real friends

Stranger: A little name calling here and there

You: yeah it really sucked im glad it didnt last too long

Stranger: What we're their names?

Stranger: That's nice

You: hahaha

Stranger: Were

You: I really don't remember now I left that school

Stranger: Awww

Stranger: One of my old best friends was cody

You: ohh you mean my friends

Stranger: He was a goofy kid

Stranger: Yeah silly

You: soz im so sleep deprived i read it wrong hahah

Stranger: It's okay

You: Well there was three of us

You: crystal, danielle and tamanna

You: them three*

You: and there was me

You: so it was a small friendship circle and i was friends with them from ages 11, 12, 13, 14

You: like there was additions to the group but i wont say much about them

Stranger: I feel that we all got our groups

You: but during these few years i was still that same weird different kid

You: but I suppressed that and acted like somebody else so I would have friends

Stranger: I sort of did the same thing

You: and yeah these friends weren't great, they lied a lot, said a lot about eachother (including me) behind eachothers back, spread rumours, told secrets

You: so I knew i couldnt trust them with the things i was thinking or whatnot

Stranger: Yeah, it's tough finding trustworthy people at that age

Stranger: You gotta find them before all that

Stranger: Hormones can do a lot to mess things up

You: so yeah, 14 years old was when I was really down about it, I felt lonely all the time because I was constantly stuck in my own thoughts

You: yeahh definitely

Stranger: Did you think about the same things

You: So I would spend a lot of time on my own which was the biggest mistake lol

You: pretty much yeah but

Stranger: Definitely

You: there was a lot i was thinking about

Stranger: Like what

You: Ahh things about people, things about like, our purpose

You: it got really unhealthy i guess

You: life**

You: i guess i asked a lot of questions which couldn''t be answered

Stranger: When I was younger I always knew what I wanted in life

You: ahh really?

Stranger: Yeah, it's kinda silly and a lot of people think it's lame but my friends and I all wanted to become pro players

You: ah thats sick

Stranger: That was back in the day 6ish years ago

You: its not silly at all

Stranger: It is, in the sense that it's a lot of work and a lot of people don't make it

You: True but, its good to have dreams and ambitions

You: something to work towards

Stranger: Most definitely but people need a back up plan

You: Yeah definitely

Stranger: What did you want

Stranger: Like in life

You: I never knew to be honest

You: generally I wanted to help or inspire people

You: but never knew specifically what

Stranger: I'm sure there's something that'll bring you in (:

You: but that all went to shit when i got olde rhahah

You: yeahh I'm waiting for it :)

Stranger: I'm sure you'll get the passion back and start caring again

You: I hope so

Stranger: Sometimes when I need motivation I watch some videos of people I look up to

You: Theres other things I need to fix first before that can happen

Stranger: For sure

You: ah thats nice

Stranger: Work on yourself before helping others

You: Yeah I know that I should but

You: idk i never really felt worth the effort I always thought everyone else was more important

You: second biggest mistake lol

Stranger: I feel that

Stranger: I was actually failing a lot of classes because I spent all my time helping others and not doing my own work

Stranger: So I just cheated on all my paperwork with friends

You: ah wow

You: damn

Stranger: That was middle school tho

Stranger: Can't do that in highschool

Stranger: You'll get into serious trouble

You: yeahh

You: its kind of like that here

Stranger: Academic dishonesty is a big issue

You: slightly different system

Stranger: Especially if you want to get into a big school

You: but theres mostly exam papers

You: oh yeah 100%

Stranger: Yeah

You: ahh I have such little time to fix up though

You: like last year I was really stupid

Stranger: Why

You: and the year before hahah

Stranger: What did you do

You: ahh lets see

You: so

You: when I was 14 I just fell into a deep hole of bullshit and stupidity and got into the habit of harming myself

You: and I left all of my old friends and found new, even worse friends

Stranger: I feel it, I did the same sort of

Stranger: Did they encourage your behavior?

You: but i "loved" them for the reason that we would smoke a lot of weed together

You: no nobody knew i hid it all the time

Stranger: Ahhh, yeah drugs are definitely something interesting

You: yeah definitely

Stranger: I don't think anyone who isn't there mentally should do drugs

You: dumbest thing I could have done in my situation as it was the only think I was relying on to make me even the slightest bit happy

You: yeah so true

Stranger: Happiness can be tricky

You: and then in that friendship group was this one guy who I wont go into much detail about but we were both mentally fucked up so we were just toxic together and fucked eachother up even more

Stranger: I did the same thing

You: and my mum found out about me harming myself so i was forced into counselling, my mum was getting panic attacks because of stressing about me

You: which made me feel shit so i started harming myself again

Stranger: Awww ):

You: and then at 15

You: is like one of the most important exams we do in the UK

Stranger: We do it at like 16-17

You: and basically i didnt really care much about life so I purposefully failed everything

Stranger: ):

You: here its 15-18

You: 17*

You: and then i left to go to a new school because i hated everyone there so im going there currently

You: and the most important exams

You: well the first year of it

You: are coming up

You: and yeah I'm still not in a really good place mentally

Stranger: Do you know why that is?

You: I don't smoke anymore but I rely on hurting myself wayy too much

You: I honestly do not, and ive thought about it a lot too :/

Stranger: Is it what happened in the past?

You: i think its just many small things that just add up

You: maybe

You: this is weird but recently like im remembering stuff from my childhood that I had completely forgotten about

Stranger: Yeah, something like happens to me

Stranger: It's just weird dreams of the past

You: yeahh me too

Stranger: A lot of it is middle school stuff like dances and stuff

Stranger: Like dates and what not

You: ahh

You: for me its like when i was really really young

You: but idk because these memories seem really bizarre that im wondering if im somehow making some of them up

You: one of them which I know is true is the first time that my dad hit my mum

You: he never did again but

You: I dont know why im remembering it now

Stranger: That's good

Stranger: Umm I'm not sure tbh

Stranger: Do you believe in like the guy feeling and stuff?

Stranger: Guy

Stranger: Gut*

You: sometimes i guess

You: actually yeah

Stranger: Maybe something is going to happen

Stranger: I believe in it, a few weeks back I felt weird and stuff and then it came true

Stranger: Hopefully nothing bad happens

You: hm

You: yeah hopefully

You: idk thats not the feeling i get from this

Stranger: What do you get?

You: its more like me just remembering a bunch of shit i forced myself to forget

Stranger: Ahhh

You: but i just dont understand why im remebering now

You: of all times lol

Stranger: Maybe something that happened triggered that memory?

You: i dont really know

You: like sometimes its in dreams

You: sometimes ill just be daydreaming in class and remember something vividly

You: weird shit lol

Stranger: Nah I feel that too

Stranger: I was always in iss so I day dreamed a lot

You: i know a lot of people say that like things that happen in your childhood affect you when your older

Stranger: Yeah definitely

You: but would it still affect me even if i didnt remember them?

You: cos like some of it makes sense

Stranger: Yes I'm sure it would

You: when i think of these new found memories lol

Stranger: It's hard to explain over text but yeah definitely

You: yeah i getchu haha

You: but uhh yeah, theres a lot i need to change in my life lol

Stranger: Start small, silly

You: where do you even start lmao

Stranger: Ummmmm

Stranger: So how is your studying? Good bad?

You: terrible i dont even study haha

You: im basically doing what i did last year

You: i just have no motivation for it i guess

Stranger: But your future silly

Stranger: Don't you wanna help people?

You: yeah i stopped thinking about that a while ago

You: oh yeah i was gonna talk about taht

You: so uh

Stranger: Help yourself

You: Yeah like last summer

Stranger: GET AN EDUCATION SO YOU CAN GO FOR WHAT YOU WANT

You: lmaooo

Stranger: I just want you to do something you enjoy

Stranger: And not be stuck with something you hate

Stranger: Passion matters a lot

Stranger: And I'm sure there's some guy that'll love that you do that stuff 😉

Stranger: You'll be a major guy magnet

You: But yeah a little before summer one of my friends killed herself because of the guy I used to date (the toxic relationship guy) and it just showed me how different people are to how they actually seem. I basically started hating people and became a selfish prick and drove myself a bit crazy until one of my friends metaphorically slapped me in the face and woke me up. The hatred lasted for a few months maybe

You: i agree i still need to think about what i want i guess

Stranger: Try some programs, clubs or something (:

Stranger: Hobbies are always nice to have

You: yeah id just rather do hobbies alone than with people

Stranger: My friend went through the same thing sort of

You: i still sort of hate most people hahah

Stranger: I feel that

You: its weird but because of that i feel like i can read people and i know exactly what someones intentions are

You: which is stupid but

Stranger: Yeah some people feel that way

You: yeah i always think that everyones a fake

Stranger: My brother feels that way and I hate him

You: so it makes it hard for me to get along with people

You: yeah its really stupid i need to learn to trust people

Stranger: It takes a while but people's true colors come out

Stranger: Start small, work your way up

Stranger: <(^~^<)

You: yah i should

You: i need to do some serious soul searching hahah

Stranger: Yeah, I wish I could help, but I always knew what I wanted

Stranger: I'm sure you'll find yourself

You: ahh well you've been a huge help just by listening

You: ive said stuff ive never said before to someone so

You: its been really helpful thanks stranger :)

Stranger: Listen, at the end of the day it's whatever you want

Stranger: We can leave things here if you want

Stranger: Just remember to take care of yourself

Stranger: And please don't hurt yourself

You: ahh well small steps remember

Stranger: Life is beautiful

Stranger: Oh shush

You: hahaha

Stranger: See you around (probably not tho)- J

Stranger has disconnected.

[meetnombre]

I promised myself that would keep this blog sfw. That I would fill it full of things that would make many other people happy and to help them escape from the outside world. It was supposed to be my little corner of the web that would be free from real world politics. I guess, today is finally that time where I have to break that promise.

The whole thing started just as Hasbro released the last episode of the first season of My Little Pony. I discovered it all at once when I marathoned through the first season. For 6 months afterwards, I have been following the pony fandom with a passion, but from a distance. Checking out other peoples art, lurking in forums, sending anon messages to other people’s tumblrs. That kind of stuff. (what can I say? To this day, I am still a bit of a social outcast)

It wasnt until one fateful day when I came across a certain someone’s tumblr blog through another person’s livestream. Not gonna mention any names (SilverBlaze! XD), but anyways! It was through this person’s tumblr that I was encouraged very strongly to introduce myself to someone from the fandom for the very first time. What pretty much happened was that I whacked this awesome guy an anonymous donation through his paypal associated with his new tumblr. What immediately happened afterwards was that his OC absolutely freaked out. Maybe I shouldnt have anonymously sent the post: “Here! Have a bag of free money!” as an anon...oh well XP This person helped me to muster the courage to create an online identity that I could use to interact with the fandom a lot better. He drew me my very own pony! (I still remember the livestream, where Silver started drawing “nombre” without a reference…remember the “meet nombre” image that used to be at the top of my tumblr? That was a modified screenshot of what Silver actually drew for me XD. He then scribbled it out, and began drawing my very own nombre! He asked me if I wanted nombre to be a boy or a girl, as he already started to draw long eyelashes for nombre. I was like “Nombre is a boy! NOMBRE IS A BOY!”, and he quickly removed the eyelashes after that X) ). I eventually took my brand new oc, created my very own tumblr…but then decided to wait until a better time to reveal my tumblr, as I kind of accidentally got Heart Lift, Sparks, and Toast Lift to swap bodies on purpose XP

But yeah! Finally went public with my tumblr, and eventually met someone else (Kappa! XP). I visited quite a few of her livestreams (when silver wasnt streaming, obviously XP), and we just…talked. We caught up with each other so much…we really gotta catch up with each other some more. But what happenned eventually was that Kappa invited me to a group chat where Silver and so many other awesome people got to hang out with each other. I met so many idols of my time and so many new faces, all of which soon became mutual friends. I literally felt like one of the richest people on the planet. I even met someone (Andie!), who soon became my girlfriend!

I still remember bits and pieces of the first group voice chat that I had with this group. One of the guys first impressions was “Is this guy serious?” (Kaipo XP), and “I’m more concerned that this guy works with live explosives for a living” (Rainboom XD)

It didnt last forever. Nothing lasts forever. One of my close friends from that group was forced to leave because he kept on getting anonymous hate from someone else. He didnt know who it was, so he was about at that stage where he was going to shut himself off from ‘everyone’. Good job anon! Good job! *slow clap*

I remember very well the time when that group that helped me with my depression got themselves a new certain member. Things were all good for a while…until that certain member made a techno remix, and asked the group as to what they thought of it. The problem was the title that he chose for it, as it was completely unrelated to the music itself, completely unnecessary, and pretty offensive to a lot of people (I’m pretty sure it was something like “Retarded Austistics” or “Autistic Retards” or something simular…..yeah…). That person was eventually removed from the group, but there was a bit of mayhem in the process, as ‘every single member of the group had moderator powers’. The incident served as a wakeup call to the group, so what happenned was that everyone was disbanded from the old group, and a new group was established…

…but here’s the thing. Not everyone was allowed into the new group. There was one person, who apparently the slim majority at the time decided that they didnt want in the new group. A lot of dramas happened since this event, but this particular separation in my opinion was a pretty big deal, as she was kind of a big part of the group at the time, and a big part of my life.

So! The one big group of people who meant so much to me ended up splitting into 2 separate groups. I stayed silent about the whole thing since then, hoping that someday maybe everyone will let bygones be bygones, because we were all friends once. Instead the opposite happened. Years later, a lot of people started forgetting each other. I could have been more proactive at the time to try and preserve what we all had, but I was worried about hurting someone in the process. I didnt know what to do.

My girlfriend broke up with me, and it was pretty much my fault. After being together for 3 months, she approached me and said that she needed some time apart...and I absolutely flipped my shit. I ended up saying a ‘lot’ of stupid shit that sent her into an absolute chronic panic attack. This drove her to the point where she told me straight up that I was no different from any of the other horrible people in her life. I felt like a real asshole when she said that. I said a lot of things that I shouldnt have said that day.

I was very fortunate to still have her as a friend after all of that. ‘Very’ fortunate.

It was about 3 months after this however that she decided to close her tumblr and delete her skype. She told me that she found happiness outside of this world that she built up. Over 2 years passed since she sent me that post, 2 years that she went missing. That’s long enough to legally declare anyone dead (not kidding either. After all of the low’s that she had been through, my mind was really starting to wonder into some pretty dark places as to what might have happened to her. I was so scared). But everything was okay! I actually got a message from her after all of those years from her telling me that she was doing very well and has settled down with someone else.

All I wanted was the best for her and for her to be happy. Nothing has changed. Even if is with someone else, I dont care. She ‘is’ happy, and she ‘is’ doing what is best for her, and thats all that matters. Hell, I’d approach this guy and shake his hand if it wasn’t for the fact that it would probably make things awkward for everyone XD

But as for me, I’m stuck. I dont really know what to do with myself anymore. When you give someone your heart and things dont work out, most people would get over it. Most people would have found a rebound relationship right now or something, but I guess I’m just not like most people. It’s not just because of my past, but its also because of my toxic present and future. I work in a workplace that can be pretty toxic at times. It’s like, you go back to work after your rostered days off to be meeted by ‘many’ old fashioned people who ask you inappropriate questions like “Hey Nombre! Did you get a root on break?” or “Hey Nombre! You should go get a hooker! You might like it!” over and over because they think its funny to do so, it just puts me off so much. I’m fine as I am! I dont mind being single, even if its for the rest of my life...but there are a lot of people out there who think its okay to treat other people like shit because they are ‘different’, when in reality, my workplace is full of old dirty perverts.

Meanwhile, I’m hardly ever online anymore. Every time I do manage to return to eavesdrop on everyone, it feels like everyone is just becoming more and more isolated from each other. I saw a post on ‘that’ group from someone who said that they wondered what I was up to, to which someone else replied that I pretty much only use tumblr now...and that really hurt me a lot. I cant blame them for thinking that way though, given that I hardly appear anymore. I deserved that.

Every time I look into my tumblrs past posts, I always have dramas. This was supposed to be a place of fun, but because the peak of my tumblr career involved the misadventures between myself and my ex and a certain red horse, looking back always brings up a lot of repressed memories.

I dont want to quit tumblr. But at the same time, I dont want to keep going. I dont know what to do. I really wish that things could have been like they were back in the first quarter of 2013. I liked that.

Over 5 years since then, and I dont know how to move on. I really dont.

[hallelujuh]

hello yes i just finished lord of the flies (and then watched the 1963 movie immediately afterwards) & i rlly luv piggy so im gonna yell abt Just Piggy Things™ even if no one cares

piggy’s the first character we’re introduced to, after ralph ofc, so that means we’re supposed to get attached, and boy did i get attached..

ass-mar

the fact that he’s been called mean nicknames so long that his real name doesnt matter to him?? he doesnt care what hes called?? poor thing wtf??? hes like eleven hes too little for this

the Flashing Anime Glasses. especially the one w the fire when he starts laughing maniacally. same.

im talking about: “then he laughed so strangely that they were hushed, looking at the flash of his spectacles in astonishment.”

also: “’i got the conch,’ said piggy, in a hurt voice. ‘i got a right to speak.’” let him speak hes the only damn reasonable one. also stop hurting him hes been hurt enough goddamnit 

k but how much he loves ralph? and ralph is annoyed by him??? but then later he confides in him & cries over him & their friendship is my fav in the book so. they bond it just takes a while. but piggy was always good to ralph awe

“i was with him when he found the conch. i was with him before anyone else was.” he finally made a friend dont u take him from him ;-;

k speaking of the conch, in the first movie, his laugh when ralph’s blowing the horn for the first time??? aw??? a rare moment of joy in that sad ass movie?? 

‘63!film piggy is the sweetest & cutest i lob him. ‘90!film piggy was annoying as shit tho i refuse to talk about him.

in the ‘63!film when he puts his hands on his hips when jack says “shut up fatty” and then hides behind the tree when they all laugh at him.

god in the book it’s easy to forget theyre actual babies but with the movie u cant possibly forget and theyre so cute but defenseless it’s so sad

i kno these actors r like 70 or dead now but i wanna go back in time & give them a hug. especially piggy cuz hes a pouty chubby bub gOD IM SO SAD

one last note on the film before i get back to the book: the movie rlly encompassed how awkward i imagined piggy to be & i luv that. also his story time abt camberly was adorable + educational (for me, anyway)

how hurt he is when ralph tells the other boys his name, poor thing ugh :(

“’let him have the conch!’ shouted piggy. ‘let him have it!’” yes stand up for poor lil mulberry child

“piggy knelt by him, one hand on the great shell, listening and interpreting to the assembly.” hes so fuckin sweet??? hes like the mom of the island hes so nice to the littluns i luv him

and when he gets upset over the mulberry boy probably bein killed in the fire :’( hes the most sensible and the most empathetic of all the other boys. what a cinnamon roll. unproblematic fav. true neutral. 10/10. the best boy.

my second favorite line in the whole book: “then, with the martyred expression of a parent who has to keep up with the senseless ebullience of the children, he picked up the conch, turned toward the forest, and began to pick his way over the tumbled scar.” tired mama piggy lmao

he wants to make a sundial?? hes so smart aw

piggy thinking ralph’s patronizing smile was a friendly one :( :( he just wants a friendddd hes so naive & sweet im sadddd

i think it’s implied most of the other boys (particularly the choir boys & ralph) are from a nicer, more upper class part of england, &, despite his intelligence, piggy’s more lower class, judging by his cockney-esque accent (his use of ‘them’ instead of ‘those’, etc.) and also “piggy was an outsider, not only by accent, which did not matter…” idk why this is cute i dunno

“piggy arrived, out of breath and whimpering like a littlun.” me in pe. but also poor thing ;-;

“piggy sniveled and simon shushed him as though he had spoken too loudly in church.” i interpreted shushed as, like, consoled, more than, like, ‘quit crying, ya baby’, which was more what he was doing, but still…first of many cute piggy & simon interactions. i’d ship them but theyre like twelve so nah. but they cute as buddies

“this was too bitter for piggy, who forgot his timidity in the agony of his loss. he began to cry out, shrilly: ‘you and your blood, jack merridew! you and your hunting! we might have gone home-’” this hurts because if jack hadn’t gone hunting, they may have been rescued before simon or piggy died :( :( :( horrible vague foreshadowing

simon getting piggy’s glasses for him when jack throws em ;-;

simon giving his piece of meat (not a euphemism, goddamnit) to piggy.. god simons so sweet hes my second fav

“only, decided ralph as he faced the chief’s seat, i can’t think. not like piggy…he could go step by step inside that fat head of his, only piggy was no chief. but piggy, for all his ludicrous body, had brains.” why does ralph resent piggy sm. it’s like it psychically hurts him to compliment him, even just in his own head. jeez. just cuz someones fat doesnt mean they cant be smart?? the 50s were weird

“piggy came and stood outside the triangle. this indicated that he wished to listen, but would not speak; and piggy intended it as a gesture of disapproval.” aka ‘i’m mad at everyone so im gonna stand two feet away & glare at you all’ aw haha

when he tiptoes onto the triangle cuz hes done w his protesting ahaha aw

“piggy held out his hands for the conch but ralph shook his head.” idk i thought the mental image was cute. “gimme pls” “nuh uh”

what he says about the beast & life being scientific…me & piggy would be buds if he was real lmao

“ralph nodded to piggy. ‘go on. ask him.’ piggy knelt, holding the conch. ‘now then. what’s your name?’ the small boy twisted away into his tent. piggy turned helplessly to ralph..” honestly piggy & ralph are the mom & dad of the colony (jack being the asshole uncle) it’s so cute

“’that’s a clever beast,’ said piggy, jeering, ‘if it can hide on this island.’” sarcastic piggy is sarcastic

more sarcastic piggy earlier in the book: “you got your small fire all right” i lob him

indignant & shrill piggy… and his quote: “’what are we? humans? or animals? or savages?’” honestly lowkey want that tattooed

i fuckin hate jalph but admittedly jack’s jealous lil “’that’s right–favor piggy as you always do.’” is salty & gay lmao

the whole three blind mice convo…i luv

particular highlight in that scene: “’i’m scared of him,’ said piggy, ‘and that’s why i know him. if you’re scared of someone you hate him but you can’t stop thinking about him. you kid yourself he’s all right really, an’ then when you see him again; it’s like asthma an’ you can’t breathe. i tell you what. he hates you too, ralph—’” POOR BABYYY 

also “’i know about people. i know about me. and him. he can’t hurt you: but if you stand out of the way he’d hurt the next thing. and that’s me.” IN THE END ROGER’S THE ONE WHO HURTS HIM UGH :(

“’keep piggy out of danger.’” YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DIE

piggy holding his breath until his asthma acts up & then the boys just leave him??? what dicks

“jack cleared his throat and spoke in a queer, tight voice. ‘we mustn’t let anything happen to piggy, must we?’” AND THEN YOU LET HIM D I E U SALTY BITCH QUIT IT

“piggy put on his one glass and looked at ralph. ‘now you done it. you been rude about his hunters.’ ‘oh shut up!’” why dont more ppl ship them?? compared to jalph theres nothing??? theyre like a married couple it’s precious. like i said - mom & dad of the island.

piggy getting braver & being more of a leader once jack leaves!!! im proud of him!!

“he [simon] sought for help and sympathy and chose piggy” k the two most humane & sympathetic kids on the island, and the two doomed ones, gravitate towards each other & look out for each other & it so sadd

piggy being “so full of pride in his contribution to the good of society” he didnt deserve his fate he was so good im so sad

samneric & piggy making a little mini feast for them?? thats so cute??? 

also “piggy broke into noisy laughter and took more fruit. ‘he might be.’ he gulped his mouthful. ‘he’s cracked’.” piggy u get teased for bein different why would u tease simon (behind his back too) for bein diffrent u hypocrite. noisy laughter tho aw

piggy & ralph laying by the fire & talking…ralph didnt deserve piggy honestly he wasnt even grateful until the very end for such a good friend in such a horrible situation??? ugh

“when he understood how far ralph had gone toward accepting him he flushed pinkly with pride” see? good friendship. piggy just wanted a friend & to be considered valuable. and ralph finally started appreciating him

“piggy took off his glasses, stepped primly into the water, and then put them on again.” prim: stiffly formal and respectable; feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper. idk why this is funny to me

when he gets annoyed and starts slapping the water & yelling. temper tatrum lmao. dont blame him

“piggy stirred the sand under water and did not look at ralph. ‘p’raps we ought to go too.’ ralph looked at him quickly and piggy blushed. ‘i mean–to make sure nothing happens.’ ralph squirted water again.” they’re so fuckINGN CUTE

“piggy touched ralph’s wrist. ‘come away. there’s going to be trouble. and we’ve had our meat.’“ SO MUCH OF THIS STORY WOULDVE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE OTHER BOYS ACTUALLY LISTENED TO PIGGY

“ralph sat down in the grass facing the chief’s seat and the conch. piggy knelt at his left, and for a long minute there was silence.” i luv their dynamic sm. ruler & adviser. no questions asked. ultimate loyalty. so good.

piggy trying to be all rational about simon while ralph freaks out…what a scene. also i luv how awkward their convo w samneric immediately after is

piggy wants to be rescued most and hes the one whos killed!!!! bullshit!!!! justice for piggy!!!

when ralph says piggy should write a letter to his auntie & he takes it serious & ralph laughs & piggy doesnt get it. awe.

the scene where they take his glasses ;-; u made my boi piggy hav an ass-mar attack u monsters,

PIGGY GETTIN ALL BADASS & DETERMINED & TALKING ABOUT WHAT HES GONNA TELL JACK 

“he held out the conch to piggy who flushed, this time with pride” and then “piggy sought in his mind for words to convey his passionate willingness to carry the conch against all odds.” the conch is the only constant on the island, the only dependable thing he has besides ralph, so hes so invested in it, hes pretty much deemed himself the caretaker of the conch, and it dies with him…

the scene where piggy reassures ralph & it says “the twins were examining ralph curiously, as though they were seeing him for the first time” is probably my fav scene in the entire book…it just really shows, in a couple of lines, the characters that ralph & piggy are, and what their relationship is like, and why they’re a partnership throughout the whole book. fantastic.

“’am i safe?’ quavered piggy. ‘i feel awful–’” fuckin foreshadowing, i hate it. imagine being practically blind on a cliff and then, minutes later, falling to your death. god it’s terrible.

piggy crying for ralph not to leave him actually hurts like psychically in my chest. him and simon were babies??? i know it’s fiction but kids are the sweetest things, not even fictional kids deserve to be killed so mercilessly??? im so fuckin sad

his last words…powerful and iconic.

i dont wanna talk about his death. im very sad

k ik it’s terrible but when he died his skull cracked open & his brain more or less fell out (”and stuff came out”, “with his empty head”), and thats p macabre but it’s also symbolic and genius bc when roger killed him he also took away the only thing he had going for him, the only thing that gave him superiority over the others - his intelligence. his brain. 

of course, have to end on: “ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called piggy.” cue me shutting the book, hugging it to my chest, and sobbing