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bcdwhcre · 4 years

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may i request? one where levi and reader has suddenly parted ways leaving both of them heartbroken. fast forward to a few mos later, reader has moved w/ a new partner (but is still very much in love with levi) and then one day, both of them unintentionally crossed paths again (now as exes) levi reminisces their past and concludes that he still has feelings for reader. the ending is up to you tho! i love ur writing lol i’m rlly obsessed ❤️

“Reunited,” Levi x Reader

Summary: After you and Levi’s brutal breakup, you move on. Randomly, you two run into each other and ‘catch up’ but Levi confesses that he still loves you.

Warnings: none

“I want you gone, I don’t want you here anymore!” You screamed at Levi, shoving your hands into his chest as you tried to push him away from you.

“Then fucking leave? No one is stopping you, Y/N.” Levi stood his ground, his arms crossed over his chest as he gave you a cold stare.

“You’re such a dick and you wonder why no one ever sticks around long enough.” You let it slip up, the painful words had crushed his heart in seconds.

“Yeah? Now I can see why you were alone in the first place.” He said, it was like venom from a snake bite- toxic.

“I hate you.” You mumbled, the tears running down your face didnt phase Levi- not anymore.

You two were having a full screaming match in his office, you were positive the scouts down the hall heard the full thing but it didn’t matter- the anger boiling inside of you made you not think of anyone else.

“Glad we both feel the same.”

His words hit you like a truck, even though your words were just as bad- you said them because Levi pushed you to that point. That’s all he did was push and push until you have a reaction.

This time you were done.

It had been months since you last seen Levi, you were heartbroken and long nights you cried and cried, hoping he would suck up his pride and ego to apologize to you but it never happened.

You quickly jumped into another relationship, hoping this would make you forget about Levi but it never worked. Every time your partner would kiss you or try to touch you, all you thought about was him and the way he made you feel.

It was painful. Extremely painful.

You tried to suck it up, hoping it would get better but as of now- it hasn’t and you’re having a hard time dealing with that.

Levi, on the other hand, has been distracted with the scouts but once his head hits the pillow late at night, his thoughts are always directed to you.

He wish he could see you, he wish he could hold you again but he felt like a burden, he felt like you were better off without him so he stayed away.

But one random day, he had went into the town after coming back from a expedition. He had separated from the group, going straight to the bar because even though he wasn’t a drinker, he needed something to make him forget.

His uniform was still on, the pained look on his face didn’t begin to describe how he felt on the inside. It was getting too much to handle, he felt like he needed these drinks.

Until he caught a quick glimpse of your face, his heart stopping as his feet froze on the concrete. The smile you had on made his heart race and he didn’t realize his feet were moving towards you until you both made eye contact and your smile fell.

“Levi,” You said, looking over at him and your partner stood behind you protectively as they stared down Levi.

“So this is the famous Levi.” They mumbled, making you turn around to face your partner.

“You can go on ahead, I’ll be fine.” You tried to get them to leave because frankly, you didn’t want them there.

Your partner had kissed your cheek on purpose, eyeing Levi as they left and he looked at you like he had seen a ghost. You moved on and Levi wanted to rip everyone apart to feel something other than the pain weighing on his chest.

You both stood in silence, you didn’t know what to say or what to do but you didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want this to be the last time you saw him. He gestured you to follow him inside the bar he was planning on going inside and you did, not a word has been spoken yet.

As the two of you sat down, Levi settling with whiskey and you just settled with a coffee- it was quiet and awkward. The tension was thick and you looked around the room to avoid eye contact.

“I didn’t know you found someone else.” He finally spoke, the sarcasm on his tongue was lingering and you can sense that he thought of your partner as a joke.

“Oh- yeah, three months.”

He gave you a wide eyed look, three months? He thought to himself. You two have only been broken up around five or six months and you were that quick to jump with someone else. It had shattered his heart more if that was even possible, laughing under his breath before downing his drink completely then asking for another.

“Levi,”

“So, did you not love me? Was our relationship a joke?” He cut you off, leaning forward against the table with a look of amusement on his face.

“Not at all, our relationship was everything to me.” You admitted, watching his eyes roll and he took another breath, trying to clam himself.

He didn’t want to argue with you, no, that’s not why he made you follow him in this lonely bar. In fact, he wanted to desperately kiss you, hug you. Shit, he wanted to drag you home and show you how much he missed you but when he saw your partner, his temper had taken over- along with his sadness.

“Y/N, I’m going to be honest with you.” He started off, looking into your eyes and it had made his heart skip a beat.

Suddenly his emotions had taken over, the flashbacks flooding his mind like they were yesterday. The first one he thought of was the time you two were in bed, he was trying to read a book and you were trying to get his attention. The way you would nudge him, purposely pull his eyes away from the book in his hands to look at you fully, the way your laugh would echo in his bedroom- he missed it.

Then the flashbacks of you taking care of him after expeditions, making sure to bandage his wounds and comfort him afterwards, making sure you reminded him how special he was and how grateful you were to have him.

It made him want to cry in your arms right now but he sat there. He made sure he kept himself well put together because he didn’t want to make you worry or hurt you in any way.

He didn’t realize how zoned out he was, the thoughts of you flooding his mind and the memories he shared with you- they were amazing and he couldn’t help but miss it.

“Levi?” You questioned, watching him stare down at the glass in front of him and soon he snapped out of it, looking up at you.

The jealousy he felt, the way your partner kissed your cheek like you were theirs. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to desperately take you away from here. All these emotions overpowering him, he wanted to explode.

“Fuck it.” He said breathless, making you raise an eyebrow before he practically climbed over the small table, cupping your cheeks and smashing his lips on yours.

You were caught off guard, the sudden kiss almost made you throw yourself back but you remained in place. The long nights you would think about this, this moment. The dreams you would have of Levi kissing you, it was all coming to life.

Your shaky hands grabbed onto his wrists, keeping him in place before you completely leaned in and moved your lips in sync with his. You still got the same feeling every time he would kiss you, fireworks. Every kiss and touch all made you feel the same spark you were feeling now.

Levi was so desperate to keep this going, he never wanted to lose you again, he was even too scared to let go but he pulled back, his face inches away as he stared deep into your eyes, taking in the moment incase it gets ripped away.

“I would say I’m sorry but I’m not... I still love you, come home, please..” Was all he said, his eyes had a sparkle of hope in them, hoping you would ditch your new pathetic partner and come back with him.

The amount of love you still had for Levi was more than enough for you to nod your head, making him drag you out the door and down through the town to go back to his place. He would turn back to look at you, the smile on his face had made your heart flutter with happiness.

“Levi, wait.” You stopped him right as you both stood outside of his place and he gave you a look of concern, afraid you’ll run off again.

“I never stopped loving you, I just want you to know that. Everyday only got harder without you next to me.” You admitted, making his hand squeeze onto yours and he embraced you in a tight hug.

Your face was nuzzled in his shoulder, the tears stinging your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him. The overwhelming feeling that washed over your body made you cry a bit, you were finally happy and content. You didn’t realize you missed Levi this much until he touched you.

“God, I love you.”

This ended up really cute. It made me soft🥺

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#levi ackerman fanfic #levi ackerman imagine #levi ackerman imagines #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman headcanons #levi Ackerman #levi x reader #levi imagines #levi imagine #levi fanfic #levi headcanons #aot headcanons #aot imagines

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revisionaryhistory · 3 years

Text

Three Days ~ 88

~*~Sebastian~*~

After the video call with my friends, I went back to the couch with a fresh glass of wine. I am blessed. Family, friends, co-workers, and a woman who loves me. None of us are perfect. I have people to call when times are tough. Today they called me, knowing I’d be struggling, only this time it was in a good way. Not long later Jessica called and invited me to dinner.

Pizza, beer, friends, and a toddler made for a good night. Giulietta thought I was much more fun than mom or dad. I guess they don’t let her use them like a jungle gym. When mom spoiled our fun and said it was time to settle down, I stopped the tears by promising to read her a story. Her choice. Like someone else I know Giulietta was asleep before I was halfway through. At this rate I'll never know how anything ends.

I sent the picture Jessica had taken to Emma. She'd wake up to it and with any luck send me back something fun. Which she did as soon as she woke up. Which was afternoon for me. Dinner break before I checked my phone. Emma struck the perfect balance between sweet and sexy. Her hair was messy with just her eyes peeking over a pillow she was hugging. Those beautiful green eyes I loved to look into. I couldn't see her smile so I could imagine it anyway I liked. The sweet one she often got right before she told me she loved me. Or the other one she got when she wanted me. I loved them both.

Our texts were broken up over the course of the day. Short bursts or long hours between. We talked most days at least for a few minutes. We talked about our days, shared memories, and talked about us. Maybe had phone sex. What didn't happen was whining about being apart or bitching about the time and distance. I didn't hang up feeling angry or guilty. I did my job, hung out with friends, relaxed during my downtime, and did a little shopping. Emma relaxed, did some studying, and practiced guitar. I missed her. She missed me. But we went on with our lives apart, making the best of the situation. It sucked, except it didn't.

I think this is the way it's supposed to be.

Thursday we wrapped for Paris. That was worth a party. Over the next four days production would pack up and move to Rome. I'd spend a day and a half on planes going from Paris to Dallas to San Diego. Then back to Dallas and on to Rome. The time zones were going to fucking kill me.

I called Emma when I got back to my room. I was drunk and grumpy. Hearing her voice helped. Seeing her face was even better. The way she told me exactly what she wanted to do to me and said all sorts of dirty things until I came... I wasn't grumpy anymore.

I had a headache when my alarm rang. I needed more sleep. Hopefully, I'd catch up on the flight. I was still debating going back to sleep and blowing off the weekend when my phone rang. Emma. It was the middle of the night for her. "Why are you awake?"

She laughed, "Making sure your drunk ass doesn't turn off his alarm and blow off the weekend."

I rolled to my side, mirroring her. "I wouldn't do that. I was thinking about it, but I wouldn’t do it."

"Such a professional. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better. Advil, breakfast, and a long nap on the plane and I'll be fine. How are you?"

"Good. Big plans laying by the pool with Mallory today."

"Sounds fun. I will be on a plane."

"Yes, but you will walk out of the airport into sunny California. Then spend two days being adored and laughing with your friends."

"That will be fun." I was honestly looking forward to that part.

Emma yawned. I smiled at her beautiful face, "You need to go back to sleep. I need to get showered."

She didn't argue with me. She was tired.

"Thank you for making sure I was up. I love you."

"I love you." There was my sweet smile.

I cannot begin to explain how very disorientating it is to board a plane at nine am, travel for fifteen hours, to arrive at three pm, which is only six hours after you left. I get to relive eight of the hours I spent on the plane. Only thing is, my body thinks it’s midnight. I slept some on the flight and I knew better than to go back to sleep. The closer to "normal" bedtime for this time zone I could get, the better I would feel tomorrow. Anthony and I had press then an autograph session, before the big Marvel event. Sunday was photo ops and an autograph session. Both long days where I was expected to be pleasant despite how inappropriate or rude fans got. Needless to say, a decent night’s sleep would be best for everyone.

I got to my room by four and quickly realized I couldn't stay there. I needed fresh air. I needed to breathe. I changed into shorts and took off to have a look around. There were several hotels in the area that hosted celebrity guests. We weren't all in one place. I'd requested a beach. It was a little farther from the convention center and I was confident I could wander unseen. Most people stayed right around the center since a lot of packages kept prices lower and being so close to the action was appealing. I wanted the ocean.

Down the beach I could see big boulders and took off that direction. I needed some flip-flops. The sand made me think of Emma. The water. The people surfing. The impending sunset. Breathing. I'd like to say the plan I was cooking up was a product of sleep deprivation. It wasn't. It had been bouncing around in my head since this morning as we lay in bed together thousands of miles apart. I'd dismissed it as selfish. On the plane, when sleep was impossible, and I was panicking, it didn't seem so selfish. I shoved the idea away because I knew it really was. The same reasons I didn't ask Emma to stay in Paris or go to Rome were valid here. Asking her to fly literally to the other side of the country to spend two days with me, asking her to amuse herself while I worked a chunk of that time, was peak me as a selfish asshole. The longer I sat on the rock watching the ocean the less of a bad idea it seemed. Maybe not less of a bad idea, but an idea I could give her a choice in, with the difference being if she said no, I wouldn't be angry or make her pay for not doing what I wanted. Growth in action. Hopefully.

I should check flights before I even think about calling. Or actually call, because I'm already thinking about calling. Might not be possible.

It was. I flipped my phone in my hands several times before hitting the buttons to call her. Apparently, I hadn't grown completely out of being an ass.

"I'm about to be an asshole."

Emma raised her eyebrows, "Uh oh."

"Yeah." I was going to do it anyway. "Fifteen-hour flight with little sleep because the turbulence over the ocean was a nightmare. I'm grumpy, exhausted, and lonely as fuck. I'm on the beach without you. I miss you. I can get you on a flight in the morning and if you come straight to the venue you'll be here before I have to do anything. It’ll be two days. I have to leave for Rome Monday. I know it's a shitty thing to ask, but will you come see me? So I can see you."

"I'd love to."

I was prepared to step up my game and her easy acquiescence caught me off guard. "You will?"

She nodded with a smile, "I miss you too."

I took a deep breath and let it out, "I was prepared to beg."

Her smile was almost a laugh, "While you begging sounds fun, it's not necessary. Do I need to pack anything dressy?"

"Fuck, I hope not. I have a pair of jeans, shorts, and sweatpants." It's amazing how much better I felt. I ran my hands through my hair. "You're flying out of JFK. Sorry."

"You booked the flight already?"

"Not many seats left. I wasn't risking it. You leave at seven, here at ten. My first thing is noon." I could see her grabbing her carry-on from the closet.

"I'm going to spend the night at your place. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

I scrunched up my face, "Underwear."

"You don't have underwear?"

"The one's I'm in and a spare."

"You may not like what I pick out."

"Emma, baby, I will wear yours as long as you deliver them."

"I think that's a little drastic."

"It's really not."

Emma laughed and touched her screen. I could almost feel her. I could definitely imagine feeling her. She almost gasped and broke into a smile, "I have an idea. I need to call Jill real quick. Give me five maybe ten minutes."

I nodded, "Okay. I'm going to lay here on my rock."

My rock was not soft, but I was very comfortable. I was very happy. The sky was blue and the sound of the waves was calming. I only had to wait until tomorrow to see Emma. It was going to be a good day.

A little more than five minutes later Emma was calling me back. "You've made my little sister very happy."

"Excellent!” I smiled, "How'd I do that?"

"We need to change my flight. Monday I'm going to Seattle pick up Olivia and take her back to New York with me. Then we'll meet up with the family in Chicago."

"That's perfect. You're not just coming out here for me."

She picked up on it. "Yeah, because seeing you isn't enough of a reason. You know I miss you, right?"

"I know, but I'm..."

Emma cut me off, "Stop there. I jump on planes to spend weekends on tour with dad. This is fun for me. Dad's doing sound checks, interviews, and charity shit while I amuse myself. You're not an asshole. I love this."

"You love this?" I did not love jumping on planes at short notice.

She was nodding as I spoke, "I love this."

"And you'd tell me to fuck off if you didn't?"

"Maybe, but this is your lucky day."

"No, my luck day was exactly eight weeks ago."

We talked for another ten minutes or so until she was loaded and heading into the city. We've talked while she's driving many times, but I wanted her to pay attention. The sun was going down where she was and it would be dark before she got to my place. I headed back toward the hotel and ordered room service. By the time Emma texted she was at mine and I was deep in a documentary, struggling to stay awake.

Emma ~ Safe and sound in your bed.

Naturally, she sent a picture. Sheet barely covering her breasts and one arm stretched out above her head.

I sent back a picture of me in the same pose, but making sure to show the empty side of the bed. I drew a red ✗ there.

Sebastian ~ Where you will be in my bed tomorrow.

Emma ~ Equally safe and sound Sebastian ~ More. Emma ~ I'm going to sleep. I will see you in the morning. Sebastian- Can not fucking wait

I was probably asleep before she was. By the time I woke up twelve hours later Emma was halfway here. I felt well-rested and excited for my day. Not just the Emma piece. Mackie and I always had fun together. I'd been sent the day’s itinerary. Noon was press, two thirty was an autograph session, and five was the big deal Marvel panel. We should be done by 6:30. Disney was having a party tonight. I had to make an appearance. It started at eight. That wasn't going to happen. Nine was more likely. I remembered it wouldn't matter because mice can't tell time.

At the venue I was led to a behind the scenes area. There was a large room, guarded by security, set with food and drink. Several smaller rooms encircled the larger area and some were labeled with company names. One of the largest was for Disney, with cloth wall dividers making several smaller rooms, where a stylist would be waiting to make sure Mackie and I looked presentable. Outside of the room was a loading area that was separated from the autograph booths by black curtains. I'd already ducked between them and gave fans nosing around my booth quite a surprise. Those were my favorite interactions. The ones without expectations. Security came over to make sure I hadn't been ambushed. I hadn't, but that was a perfect way to get away and I needed to talk to security anyway. I had them take me to the security office. Some lucky fans got a shot at a sighting of a Sebastian in the wild. I explained what was happening to the head of security and put Emma’s name on a list. They gave me a lanyard with her all-access pass and told me what door to direct her to. Security would meet her and bring her to me.

"About that." Call me paranoid, but I didn't trust they'd remember to have someone waiting for her. They'd call someone when she showed up and gave her name to the person with the list. "I need a Pearl Jam fan."

"Excuse me?"

"Someone on your staff is a Pearl Jam fan. Get them.”

He got on his radio, "Anyone out there a Pearl Jam fan?"

A voice came back, "Big Ed. He works all the shows up the coast."

I looked at my watch then back at the supervisor, "I need to borrow him for an hour."

His face read doubtful, but I was Disney. "Big Ed. I need you in the security office. Anyone see him? Send him."

A different voice, "On my way, boss."

Several minutes later Big Ed came through the door. I knew it was him because he was six-five and an easy two-fifty. He was his name. I held out my hand, "Hey, Big Ed. I'm Sebastian. Nice to meet you."

“You too."

"Walk me back to the guest area." We headed out and I waited until we were away from the office. "Do you know Ed's daughter?"

He smiled, "He has three. Which one?"

"The only one old enough for me to ask about."

"Emma. I've seen her at a couple of shows. I work security up the coast. Great way to see a bunch of shows."

I nodded, "I guess anything you miss at one you can catch at the next."

"Exactly." He pointed to his ear, "And you can always hear."

"Back to Emma. She's on her way here. I'd appreciate it if you would meet her and bring her to me."

"Is Ed coming?"

"No, he's," I stopped myself, "you ask her where he is."

He laughed, "I might take the long way back here."

"I haven't seen her in weeks. Not too long." Two is weeks. Barely.

Emma texted they'd landed. Big Ed changed where he wanted her to go and he headed in that direction. I sat down to wait for her to text she was here. I heard a familiar voice.

"Sebastian Stan? Is that really you?"

"Captain America?" I stood up and turned to the voice.

"Don't call me that. The pressure." Mackie hugged me, slapping my back much harder than necessary. "How jet-lagged are you?"

"Is that code for how much work are you going to have to do because I'm grouchy?"

"Maybe." We laughed.

"I had a good night’s sleep and I'm in a great mood."

"You seem twitchy. Why are you twitchy?"

"I'm not twitchy."

"Yes, you are. You're twitchy."

"If I'm twitchy it's because you're making me twitchy."

He pointed at me, "Ah ha! You admitted it. You're twitchy."

I rolled my eyes and scowled, "Emma's on her way. I might be a little twitchy."

"Here?" He pointed to the ground. With his eyebrows raised.

I smiled, "My girlfriend."

"Yeah, I got that. Plus, Evans told me."

"She’s not a secret." That felt good.

He asked and I answered. Talking about Emma is my second favorite thing having to do with Emma. First is being with Emma. In absolutely any way. My phone went off with Emma telling me she was here. I put my hand on Mackie’s arm. "Stay here. Right here."

#Sebastian Stan #Sebastian Stan Fanfiction #fanfiction #sebastian stan X ofc #marvel actor fanfiction

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letfatewritethewords · 3 years

Text

I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.

I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.

This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.

The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.

I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?

I failed.

He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.

Am I angry? All of the time.

Am I scared? Yes.

I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.

How will you see me?

What will you think?

I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

But it’s ok.

I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.

Is it over? No.

He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.

Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.

So.. what now.

How do we fix what our parents and past broke?

How do you reparent yourself?

The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.

#lonliness #abuse survivor #survivor #domestic violent relationships #domestic violence #processing

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cabinofimagines · 4 years

Text

In the end, cleaning wins.

Percy x gn!reader

Summary: Percy and Y/n are trying their best to be adults. Between work, school, being a demigod, and keeping up the apartment, something or someone was bound to snap.

A/N: Bro I’m always so bad at writing fight scenes since I’m such a peacekeeper lmao. I try to avoid conflict often so rip if this isn’t good.

-Day

_______________________________________

Being an adult is exhausting.

No seriously, it is. Percy hadn’t slept in over 26 hours at the fault of his new job at the aquarium. It held unusually odd hours, the only upside being a nice pay and working with sea creatures. He loved it, but the position and people he had to work with were obnoxious in many ways.

He stayed up all night trying to cram for a chem exam coming up, but he would’ve slept an hour at least if he’d known the bullshit coming his way. He left home yesterday morning for his bio lecture where he zoned out for 2 out of the 3 hours. Unfortunately, homework was assigned based on the day’s lecture. Amazing. Then, he was called into work directly after because the opening manager flaked out. Also amazing.

The school was across town from the aquarium so he figured he could catch some sleep on the subway, but before he even boarded, a group of dracaena ambushed him. He took off running, hoping that maybe he could lose them instead of having to fight. If he fought in this sluggish state then he’d probably screw up and shish kebab himself.

He could probably just run to the aquarium from here, take a few back alleys and shake off the slithering psychos. He turned to check if they were still following and to his surprise, they were right on his heels. Pretty fast for creatures with no legs. Or would having the ability to just… glide be faster? Like being on skateboard?

Now really wasn’t the time to be thinking of dracaena with skateboard bodies.

He turned sharply and took the fire escape three steps at a time. He wasn’t sure where this was going, but he was fairly certain that in the prospect of jumping buildings, the person with legs had the upper hand. He could hear the dracaena hissing out things like “get back here, sssson of the sssssea god” or “come here, child”. How the Hades are they still behind him?

He saw the edge of the building approaching and realized that maybe it was a little too far of a jump. But he was already flying over the gap and praying that his ankles don’t snap like twigs when he lands.

Luckily, he made it. He hit the ledge with his chest, his arms pulling him up. He scrambled to his feet, ready to turn and fight if that jump didn’t shake them. Turns out that it did work, because he’d the pleasure of seeing the failed attempt of the hissing heathers falling one by one into the gap between the buildings. He heard them yelp out curses on the way down, but wasn’t sure if they combusted into dust or not.

He decided to roof hop for most of the way to work, one because it was a little faster this way and because he had less of a chance to run into bored monsters. Man, he was glad that he didn’t have a manager to answer to this time, they’d probably just be glad he showed up.

---

Percy prided himself on being a pretty chill person both at work and on the regular. However, there wasn’t a day that passed where he wondered if he should just hop in one of the tanks and pretend to be a fish. The sea otters seem pretty stress-free.

He was exhausted and running on energy drinks he’d bought from the gas station a little ways from work. What was supposed to be a 6-hour shift on his one day off turned into him working from 11:30 am to midnight after the evening manager decided to leave early. Percy was never one to complain when others went home before him, in fact, he usually chooses to go last unless he has homework due at 11:59. But when Cooper decided Percy could handle closing the aquarium by himself, he lost it.

He took the last bus home, thankfully, his trip home was quieter than his trip to work. He sat in the back, head tilted toward the window as he tried to calm the headache that tortured him. He was pretty sure that Y/n would be asleep by now, they had an early morning and he didn’t expect them to wait up for him… but tonight, he really hoped they did.

The promise that Y/n would be there, asleep or not, was comforting enough to him. He wanted nothing more than wordless cuddles and a deep sleep right now.

----

Walking through the building door he noticed the hall light was off– correction, it was blown. No biggie, Percy had found his way in the dark multiple times, but the stairs seemed to be a different story. He tried so hard to be quiet on the way upstairs, but he managed to trip over the ledge. He swore quietly, fumbling for the railing and hoping his neighbor was dead asleep.

Ronnie often threw fits over the amount of noise the couple made, even if it wasn’t much of a ruckus, Ronnie always claimed that his keen ears could hear everything. He still hadn’t forgiven Percy for the quip he made about maybe turning his hearing aids down, but he will. Hopefully.

Somehow he made it to the apartment door in one piece fumbling for his keys and unlocking the door. He took note of the darkened place and figured that maybe Y/n really did go to bed. It’s alright, Percy was ready to crash and catch a few hours of sleep.

But the lamp was on in their bedroom and the door was cracked open still, so… are you up?

Percy kicked off his shoes and dropped his book bag by the door, trudging over to the bedroom and nudging the door open. Sitting upright in the bed sat Y/n reading a book he’d bought for your birthday. Percy smiled, you looked so cute bundled up in his old uni t-shirt.

Your eyes shifted to him, crinkling with happiness, “You’re back?” You didn’t move though, clearly comfortable under the heavy duvet.

He nodded with a small smile, moving over to your side of the bed and placing a quick kiss on your forehead, “I’m gonna take a shower and grab something to eat, you go ahead and get some rest.”

After he turned to leave you heaved a sigh, not sure how to bring this up when he’s as tired as he is. Maybe this could wait until tomorrow? Then he’d be less tired and maybe… no, you already put this off long enough. He’ll be tired regardless of when it’s brought up, might as well get it over with.

So you sat there, not really even reading the words on the page anymore, your thoughts wandering from the universe the author had written about. It really shouldn’t have been this nerve-wracking. It’s a basic thing that needs to be done in every house and you were getting tired of doing it every single time.

Cabinets shutting brought your attention back to the present. Reluctantly, you pushed the duvet back and shuffled towards the kitchen, Percy eating a PB&J sandwich coming into view. He looked like a little kid, leaning against the counter in his black sweatpants and a graphic tee, munching on a small sandwich he made. You grinned and leaned beside him, ignoring the confused glances he gave.

“You miss me that much?” He joked, mouth full of food.

You snorted and looked down, something you tended to do when you got nervous. He seemed in a good mood despite whatever may had happened today, so it’s now or never.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” you mumbled, “And I know you’re tired but I feel like this is only going to get worse if we don’t talk about it now.”

Percy blinked and continued to eat, his silence a cue to continue. He didn’t really want to talk about anything right now, he just wanted to eat his sandwich and go to bed. But it seemed important so he figured he’d survive a little longer.

You studied your sock-clad feet closely, “I know we’re both really busy and it’s hard to find time for certain things like time with each other, time to study, or cleaning. But it’s something we have to find time for, y’know?”

Percy hummed, “I can ask off on Saturday if you want? We can spend the day together, we haven’t had a whole day in a while.”

You gave a small smile because while that is a concern, that’s not what you were talking about. You won’t say no though. You stole a glance at him, “I have missed being with you, I guess.”

“You guess?” Percy said a little louder, poking your stomach teasingly, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

You chuckled, swatting his hand away, “Be quiet! Ronnie will be at our door in a second, you know that.” Just do it, he’s in a good mood! “I was actually talking about the cleaning…”

At that, Percy took a look around. The dishes weren’t overflowing and the laundry wasn’t piling up, it didn’t look like something needed to be addressed. He finished the last of his sandwich, “Okay? What needs to be done?”

“Well between the two of us there is hardly any time to do anything else right? Well, it feels like I’m the only one taking care of the place-”

“But I do take care of the place,” He interrupted, “I pay the bills and I pick up after myself so-”

“But you don’t.” You spoke exasperated, “You don’t always pick up after yourself. Look, you left the bread and the PB&J out!” A fight isn’t what you wanted so you tried to approach it a different way. You took a deep breath, “...I understand you’re busy, I am too. I just want you to make a conscious effort to put things away where they belong.”

He scoffed, a disbelieving smile on his face, “I’m not a kid anymore, Y/n. I know how to clean up after myself, my mom made sure of that.”

“Then why don’t you? You used to be really good about helping me out–”

“I’m exhausted Y/n, what do you want me to do?!”

“Fucking help me, that’s what!”

It went quiet, staring the other down and wondering who would back down first. It was silly honestly, but you were tired of picking up the slack. The work in the apartment used to be equal but lately its looking a lot like you do 88% and Percy does 12%.

You relented, huffing and shaking your head, “Okay then.” You turned on your heel, going over to the front door and putting your shoes on along with a jacket. You needed to calm down, a little fresh air to maybe come up with a different way of approaching this.

The convenience store across the road might still be open. You could grab one of those bottled iced coffees for tomorrow morning, maybe a small snack too. Hopefully the small errand would be long enough for you to think of another approach. Maybe one where Percy was less of an ass, or less tired, whichever one really.

Percy followed you around to the door, his crossed arms dropping to his sides when he noticed what you were doing. He furrowed his brows, “Where are you going? It’s past midnight.”

“I’m well aware of the time, Perseus.” You hissed, “I’m going out to grab a few things.”

He shook his head, his black hair still wet from the shower, “You can wait until morning for that, come on!” he spoke lowly as he approached you, “let’s just get some rest...”

You pulled from his reach and twisted the door knob open, walking out without another word. You closed it behind you and padded over to the stairs, hopping down the unlit steps like you normally did.

Unluckily, your foot narrowly missed the next step and without the light to see where you could potentially catch yourself, you fell. Yep, you hit every step on the way down. If Ronnie hadn’t heard the argument you just had, he had to have heard your swears as your body fumbled down to the 1st floor.

Percy flung the door open, the light from your apartment lighting up the dark stairwell. His footsteps thundered down the stairs and there he sat in front of you, words flying out of his mouth so fast that you didn’t even know what he was saying. The fall caught you so off guard that you weren’t sure what was happening right now.

Ronnie threw his door open, profanities slipping out his mouth at the noise, “And this is why I never rent to young couples!” He shouted, but the threat of his words were tame without his dentures to help him spit it out. He turned his head to the bottom of the stairs where Percy leaned over your confused figure, fumbling over his words and oblivious to Ronnie.

“Well shit...” Ronnie muttered, backing back into his apartment quietly.

You snapped out of your daze, noticing how much your ankle actually hurt. Okay you’ve definitely dealt with worse, but the pain was still annoying. You started to push yourself off the steps and into a standing position, using the railing to steady yourself on your good foot.

Percy’s hands slid up your body, settling on your waist and attempting to help you back up the stairs. He kept his mouth shut on the way into the apartment, knowing that you’re probably even more irritated now.

Once you were sat comfortably on the couch, he rushed off to grab a bag of frozen peas to put on your ankle to stop the swelling. You did appreciate the thought, but you were not dealing with this any longer than you had to.

“Percy, there’s some ambrosia in my dresser, bottom drawer on the left.”

He blinked and wandered off to the bedroom, shuffling through your stuff before muttering, “It’s not even in here.” He spent a couple of more minutes looking around for the Ziploc bag you had, but clearly wasn’t really looking.

You hauled yourself off the couch, chuckling and shaking your head at his antics. Hobbling into the room you saw that he was looking in the night stand, not the dresser like you told him to. No wonder he couldn’t find it.

“Kelp head, I said the dresser not the night stand.” You laughed, limping over to the dresser and lcoating the bits of ambrosia. Percy was by your side in an instant, leading you back towards the bed and helping you situate yourself there comfortably. You said nothing as you opened the bag and nibbled on one of the pieces, a warm feeling washing over you.

You could feel the pain in your ankle easing off slowly and hopefully it would only be a little sore by morning. Percy took the bag from your hands and set it aside wordlessly, he muttered something about closing the front door before leaving the room.

You could tell he felt awkward about what just happened and he probably felt a little guilty about the argument you just had, even if it wasn’t all that serious. The two of you have had worse fights about worse things, but this is the first time in a while. It was bound to happen.

He came back in right as you shifted under the blankets, turning the light off and slipping underneath with you. He didn’t snuggle up to you right away, waiting to see if you were still pissed at him, but you didn’t make a move to kick him out the bed.

“I’m sorry for being such a dick, Y/n.” He whispered, “I didn’t know how much it bothered you and I’ll try to clean more often. I swear.”

Nothing was said, for a moment, Percy thought you’d fallen asleep, but you turned slowly to face him, eyes scanning his face in the dim light from the window. You brought a hand up to his face and traced his jawline gently, “That’s all I wanted you to do, stupid.”

He huffed and inched closer to nuzzle your nose with his, “And all it took was a sprained ankle for me to figure that out.”

You laughed and knocked your forehead against his, “It’s my fault for being so deadset on grabbing coffee for tomorrow morning. I should’ve just gone to bed.”

“Do you want coffee now? I can go grab it–”

“No, I’m not getting up tomorrow. Go to sleep, fish brain.”

#GOD I DO THIS TOO MUCH #I TAKE A SHORT FIC AND MAKE IT LONG #this is unnecessary #i cause myself pain of finding a plot #percy jackson #percy x reader #percy jackson imagines #Leo Valdez #frank zhang #nico di angelo x reader #leo valdez x reader #x reader #pjo #hoo #hoo x reader #pjo x reader

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weasleymalfoypotter · 4 years

Text

i hate you (but not really) pt6

masterlist

summary : summary: draco malfoy and harry potters twin sister have hated each other since they met. but in 5th year he comes to find that maybe he doesn’t hate her and the reasons he did end up be the things he loves

word count : 2.6k

warnings : mentions of abuse, fluff, angst, ron and hermione being in the outs which is a whole warning

A/N : sorry this out so late i’ve been so busy and i’m on this retreat but i’m so excited to get this part out and thank you so much for all the love on this series and we’re at 50 followers and i want to cry omg also if there are spelling mistakes i’m sorry

“hey princess” draco said while kissing the crown of my head before sitting down in the seat next to me in the back of the library. princess is still his favorite nick name for him a year after he called me that for the first time. i swear he says it 100 times a day. i’m not complaining.

“helloooo” i said smiling at him as he sat down.

“how was today? i heard snape gave you a hard time”

“oh you know the usual. he likes to remind harry and i that we’re not as important as the rest of the wizarding world thinks we are” i said light heartedly with a smile. snape actually used to be fond of me. i asked him why in my third year because he hated my brother so much and he explained by saying i reminded him of my mother. it was a soft side to snape that no one thought existed. all he said was that he knew her in their years at hogwarts but after harry told me about the memory he saw in the pensive i knew there was more to it. that was the same time he started giving me a harder time, treating me like the rest of the gryffindors, if not worse. i confronted him after class one day after he made a comment about harry and i, and he said i was becoming more like my father as i grew up. that’s what remus and sirius would tell me too. they said harry and i looked just like james, except for the eyes, but personality wise, he was all lily and i was all james. i stormed out of his class after that and any kind of friendship or comfort i found in that class dissipated and his past kindness became an afterthought.

draco and i spent the rest of the day in the library studying before we went to dinner. he still sat at the slytherin table during meals and i spent the time with harry and my best friends. although, today i’m sitting with just hermione so she’s not alone because harry sits with ron and hermione and ron are on the outs...again. it hasn’t happened a lot but it’s always about the same thing and they can’t even realize it. i wish they’d just get together already because i don’t know how much more “won won!!” i can take from lavender without punching her square in the jaw. and she really doesn’t like me. i think she doesn’t like any girl at hogwarts, as if they all pose a threat to her and won won’s relationship.

hermione looked down the table to see her leg on his lap while her hands moved up and down ron’s arm. he looked irritated. hermione chuckled loud enough so only i could hear.

“it’s funny that he picks the girl who doesn’t know not to mess with him while he’s eating” i laugh.

“the whole thing is ridiculous. i swear he can’t stand her anymore, it won’t last long, she’s way too clingy and they don’t mix well at all” she chuckled but i can tell it still hurts. “hey listen, he’s an idiot. one day he’ll realize how stupid he is and it’ll be him pining” she gave a half hearted smile. the whole thing has been hard for her. i hate to see her cry so much.

“yeah yeah, i just- i don’t know. i just can’t do this anymore.”

i nod along while she rants for the rest of dinner before we have to leave. afterwards she heads to the library and i head to the gryffindor common room for scheduled harry and ron time. it’s hard keeping up with school work, quidditch, prefect duties, and all my friends that can’t be around each other. i have to managed to spend time with draco away from harry and ron and hermione, but also spend time with hermione away from with harry and ron, and i also have to spend time with harry and ron without hermione or draco or lavender. it’s a mess. so now we’ve subconsciously gotten into a schedule. during breakfast i sit with draco and harry sits with hermione and ron is with lavender, if i’m in a class with gryffindors i sit with hermione, when i’m in a class without them, i sit with draco, at lunch i sit with harry and ron while hermione sits with ginny, during breaks i bounce between each of them depending on the day and whether or not i have quidditch, and before dinner i’m in the library with draco, during dinner i sit with hermione, and afterwards i hang out with harry and ron, and after that it’s cuddling with draco. it’s exhausting. not the cuddling part, that’s pretty great. everything else is just so confusing and it doesn’t give me a second to breath until the end of the night. but if i’m being honest, everything distracts me from thinking about sirius or cedric or anything along those lines. so i’m not really complaining.

i’m plopped down on the couch on the verge of passing out while ron and harry talk about harry’s potions book. i’m complete zoned out until ron asks

“hey, you guys are coming for christmas right?” i totally forgot christmas existed. it was only a few days before break and i had no idea we were invited to the burrow.

“are we? i didn’t know that was an option” harry said. he looked at me as if asking if i was up for it or not. of course i was.

“well yeah of course, mom wants to give you guys the sweaters in person this year” ron said excitedly.

“i’m totally down, is charlie gonna be there? i wanna hear about the dragons” i say the last part with so much joy. i loved charlie. he was so cool. honestly i think i just loved the dragons but same thing. charlie and i always talked forever about his work whenever i was with his family.

“i’m not sure if he’s coming or not, but either way you’re going to be there, you don’t have a choice” ron said.

“that’s true. molly might just hunt us down if we don’t show up” harry said. ron nodding along pursing his lips. he didn’t lie.

i totally forgot to tell draco that i was going to be at the weasleys for christmas until today which is the day before we leave. we’re sitting cross crossed on my bed across from each other, hands tangling with each other’s, and talking about our day.

“okay so should i leave your christmas present here and spell so you can’t open it until the day of, or should we wait, or open them now, or...?” draco rambled.

“well i’m not gonna be here on christmas, harry and i are going to the burrrow” i said. his face showed his confusion and i remembered i forgot to tell him.

“since when? not complaining, it’s better than you being here by yourself but i’m positive fred has always had a crush on you” he said with a laugh.

“okay one, since the other day, and two, fred does not and has never had a crush on me” i said laughing at the thought of me and fred. he was like my big brother.

“okay okay but if he gets handsy i will hex him into oblivion and lace his apartment with his own products” he said faking seriousness

“fred will not get handsy, i promise” i replied with a huge smile on my face. i don’t think fred has ever gotten handsy with me.

“alright well, i guess we could do presents now” he said with a very excited expression. i nodded excitedly. i was so unbelievably excited for him to see what i made him. that’s right. made. i spent forever on it trying to get every detail right but i managed to figure it out. with the help of astronomy records i found an image of what the sky looked like the night we had our first kiss in the astronomy tower. i enlisted the help of flitwick and told him it was for a personal project to figure out the charms to put the pattern from stars from that night on a ring. it looks so damn cool, i honestly want it for myself. after a few moments of getting situated, we were sitting across from each other with the others presents in our hands.

“okay you first?” i smiled and handed him his present. it was wrapped carefully in a small package.

“open it” i said softly while he looked at me with a questioning look. he took of the paper and opened the box on its hinges. his face lit up and he didn’t even know what it really was yet.

“oh wow” he said while eyeing it “this is beautiful”

“wanna know something?” he looked up at me “you see the stars on it?” he nodded “that’s what the stars looked like on the night of our first kiss” i said with a huge smile and his face dropped...but in a good way.

“you’re kidding” his eyes backs glossy

“nope” i said with a smile. he immediately slipped it onto his left ring finger. he then leaned in to kiss me. i smiled as we pulled away. points to me for the really awesome gift.

“okay okay time for your gift because if i look at this any longer right now i will cry” i eyed him jokingly “okay maybe not cry but you get the idea” he handed me the box as i laughed. it was small, almost the same size as the one i gave him. i opened it to find a small black velvet ring box. huh. when i opened the box on its hinges i gasped. a gorgeous emerald pear cut ring with small diamonds surrounding the green stone with a silver band. it was gorgeous. tasteful, classy, simple yet fancy. i was crying and i didn’t know it until his hand was on my cheek wiping away tears.

“you kind of beat me to the ring idea but i still think i scored” he was smiling so wide. a put it on my left ring finger and i jumped over to kiss him as he pulled me into his lap.

“i love you so much. i need you to know that” he said looking up at me after we broke away

“i do. and i love you too. more than you know” i replied, nudging his nose with mine.

christmas break at the burrow so far has been just as amazing as i expected. hermione wasn’t there obviously, but i still got to hang out and room with ginny and we were having a blast. quidditch games with the twins were fun because this time i was on their team which was definitely refreshing. they were way too damn good, and just because we were friends when they were on the gryffindor team doesn’t mean they’d go easy on me. quite the opposite actually. in third year i was in the hospital for two days after a really rough bludger from fred knocked me unconscious after hitting me in the head and taking me off my broom. he felt bad but it still hurt like hell.

it’s christmas eve and we were all in the living room cuddled up with tea and coa coa talking about fred and george’s shop and school and everything except the order and or voldemort until a knock came from the door. it was late so the room was full of confused faces while arthur and molly got up to get the door.

“oh goodness draco what happened?” i heard arthur say. i immediately sat up and everyone’s attention was glued to the interaction at the door.

“i’m so sorry Mr. Weasley, i- uh- i just, i didn’t have anywhere else to go” a voice i recognized all to well trailed off. i got up quickly making my way to the door to see a concerned molly standing next to a confused arthur with his hand on a bruised draco with a bloodied lip. my heart sunk and they all looked at me.

“oh my God draco what happened?” i said while closing the space between us and putting a hand up to the bruises on his face. he stuttered and molly looked around to find everyone zeroing in on the conversation.

“let’s go into the kitchen dears, i’ll make some tea for you draco and get you some ice and something for the bruises and your lip” draco nodded while we moved to sit in the kitchen. i could faintly hear molly telling everyone else to mind their own and we’ll let them know what was going on if we felt like it.

“draco what the hell happened to you?” arthur was waiting to hear the answer to my question while draco tried not to meet my eyes.

“m- my dad. he um, he found out about us. he told me that i could either be a true malfoy and follow in his footsteps and leave you or not be a part of the family at all. i told him i wouldn’t do it. i told him i wasn’t going to work for you know who and that you were my family now. that’s when he did this” he said gesturing to his face. my heart hurt. this was my fault. i knew it was better for him to be out of that house and not working for voldemort but i can’t help but think that the pain was because of me.

“draco i’m so sorry” i said with tears running down my face while squeezing his hand.

“well y/n isn’t your only family now son” arthur looked up at molly who seemed to have been around the hear the whole thing. she nodded. at him “there’s space in ron and harry’s room, if you’d like to stay with us. we’d love nothing more than to have you hear draco” draco was crying now. he’d been trying to hold it in. but hearing these words come from a father, hearing loving words, was his breaking point.

“i’m so sorry. for everything my family has done, for everything i’ve done. i- i- i could never truly tell you how much i loathe what my family is” draco said to arthur. “i’m sorry i showed up here so late i know i shouldn’t have i just, i had no where else to go” he looked down. molly came behind him and ran her hands on his shoulders.

“nonsense draco. we know you’ve changed, we’ve heard all about it” she said smiling “y/n is our family and that makes you family too”

the rest of break was actually great. it was cramped but i wasn’t upset about it. draco was feeling so much better after being around a loving family for once. he and harry and ron were actually getting along so well it was scary. i would actually say their friends considering he’s been spending more time with them than me. i actually saw them laughing together once. it was weird. but honestly i couldn’t have been happier to have him here. he was able to give the order information about voldemort and his connections to certain families and their plans. no one thought draco heard as much as he did but his information was valuable.

the rest of the school year was perfect. everyone was getting along, draco was out of his house, the rings on our fingers were a representation of hope for the two of us, and i knew this was the boy i would spend the rest of my life with.

TAGS: @idkmanicantenglish @dracoswhore007 @lordlodge

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skylarmoon71 · 4 years

Text

Michelangelo x Reader Fanfiction 2014/2016- Oneshot

"We're not monsters."

New York City was home to a lot of strange things. But never in your life did you imagine that you would actually see mutant ninja turtles. It was crazy. You were a rookie officer. Your world revolves around law and logic. Someone got murdered, there was always a reason. A disgruntled spouse, angered stranger. Or even a pissed off sibling. No matter what, in all your cases there was always some reasonable explanation. Not this time. Not with this.

As you stood with your gun pointed that day, all you could think was not everything in the world could be explained. As you stared at the mutated beings before you, your stomach dropped. Not because the impossible was standing right in front of you. You were thankful there were other officers present to witness this, even Lieutenant Vincent. But what struck you was the look. The look on the orange clad turtle's face. He looked hurt...broken and the words being spat at him.

Monster, freak.

Despite all your training in the academy against lowering your weapon in the face of danger, you couldn't bring yourself to keep your gun up. For a split second his blue eyes caught the movement. And you were positive some of your colleagues were questioning your actions. But you didn't care. No one deserved to be treated like that, human or not.

~~~~

"Are you kidding me! I want a rematch." you grinned. "Not a chance Mikey I have to get to work. Unlike you my job actually requires that I be there during the day. " You spent the majority of your morning absolutely slaughtering Mikey in Call of Duty. And like most guys, he found it hard accepting defeat. You stood up, fixing your belt, and grabbing your hat. "I'll catch you guys later. Lieutenant Vincent told me you're helping out on the sting operation. I've got to say meeting you guys was the best thing to happen. If we keep it up crime will be almost non-existent in New York." Leo offered a smile.

"We do what we can to help." Ever the humble one.

"Yeah, plus I'd never pass up a chance to kick some butt!" Ah and Raph, ever the brute.

"Of course Raph." you laughed making your way out of the lair.

"Hey Mikey don't forget it's movie night. I'm picking the movie this time!"

"Sure thing!" he called back.

It took a while to get used to everything. After they helped take down an actual alien invasion, it was sort of expected that you joined forces. You supposed your boss realized they were way out of their comfort zone, aliens weren't a norm in the police department. The turtles were then awarded keys to the city, and they continued to protect the city from the shadows, offering assistance whenever necessary. When you got to know them, you realized just how amazing they really were.

Their intelligence, strength, loyalty, humor. It was incredible. Like April, you got pretty close to the turtles. You were shocked at the development yourself, because in the beginning you were a little more scared than anything. But, you were also sympathetic. No matter what you did, that look was forever engraved in you. You guessed that's why you were so close to Mikey. You felt like you needed to protect him from the world. Which was ridiculous since he could pretty much handle himself. That didn't mean he was bulletproof. Maybe that's why he shone the brightest. Always cheerful and smiling. That added with his general adorableness, it caught you. Hook line and sinker.

~Movie Night~

As you walked into the lair already changed in a pair of sweatpants and a loose hoodie, you searched the area for the turtles. You tilted your head when you only saw Mikey setting up popcorn and drinks. "Where is everyone else?" you questioned. He perked up when he saw you.

"April invited them to another basketball game." Your eyes grew a little wide. Mikey was never one to pass up a game, especially if April was the one attending it. "Y-You could have gone if you wanted to. We could always have another movie night."

"It's fine, I promised you. And a ninja always keeps his promises. " He placed his hands together bowing and you grinned, jumping unto the couch. "Alright then, let's get started. "

"Shell yeah! " he dropped down right next to you, giving a mini presentation on the snacks he gathered. "So on the right we have nachos with a little cream, if you're feeling a little peckish. On the left, a fresh box of pizza with the ultimate assortment of cheese! And of course, an all time classic, buttery popcorn for your nightly cravings." You were smiling the entire time. The world didn't deserve someone so pure.

"What movie are we watching, please have action, please have action." he was doing a little prayer. You grabbed the remote, clicking through netflix. You stopped on the Legend of Tarzan.

"I watched the trailer, this is supposed to be awesomely epic." you spoke. Mikey peeked an eye open, and you could see the interest spark as he quickly read through the description.

"What are you waiting for, play it!" His excitement was akin to a child, and you stifled your laughter as you clicked the movie.

~~~

To say he loved the movie was probably an understatement. Mikey's eyes never left the screen the entire time. You weren't sure he even really moved when he got some of the snacks. There were so many points where you thought Tarzan was dead. Every part proved to be just a tease. When it was nearing the end you could tell. Jane was standing looking out at the rubble, clearly devastated that Tarzan might have died in the explosion.

You could almost feel Mikey holding his breath, hoping that Tarzan wasn't actually dead. You smiled when he released it softly the minute John walked up behind her. They kissed, and you fought a blush, looking away a bit nervously. This wasn't the first scene between them that left you flustered. The short love scene in the middle had you more than a little bothered. You thought Mikey would make some joke about it, but he was quiet through the whole thing. As the credits started, and the music of Hozier's better love filled the room, you found your eyes drifting back to Mikey. The longing reflected in his hopeful sapphire eyes. "Mikey?" he turned to you, and you swore you saw tears in his eyes.

He wiped it quickly, laughing. "That was an awesome movie brah! It did not disappoint." His usual enthusiasm wasn't there, you could tell. It sounded almost forced.

You took his arm before he could move out of reach.

"I'm sorry Mikey." he was now confused.

"Why are you apologizing?"

In all honesty, you should have done it sooner. That day when they called the turtles monsters. You never apologized. And even though you weren't the one who said the words, for a split second you thought the same. Your ignorance could have cost you the best friends you'd ever had.

"That day with the police, what they said to you, it was horrible. We were all in the wrong. I never told you guys how sorry I was, how sorry they probably all were for judging you guys. It wasn't fair. "

His eyes shifted. He knew exactly what you were talking about.

"It's fine. I guess I sort of expect it. Sensei always told us it wouldn't be easy for people to understand what we are. I guess that's why Raph and I wanted so bad to be human. Deep down I..I still want that. Certain things I won't ever be able to experience, not with the way I am." He must have been referring to the movie. You thought you imagined it, but he seemed extra attentive whenever the couple showed up in scenes.

"You mean love.."

He didn't need to answer, his eyes said it all. "Mikey, I don't think you need to worry about that. You don't have to be human to find love. If someone truly cares for you, they won't care. " you leaned closer, hand reaching out to touch his cheek. You could feel him tense, eyes never leaving you.

"I don't care..." Mustering up all your courage, you raised unto your knees on the couch, matching his height. Deciding that it was now or never, you closed the gap, kissing him softly. The feel of his lips, they were heavenly. Far different from what you imagined. And you'd imagined it a lot. At first he didn't move, you weren't even sure he was breathing properly. And you expected it. After a few brief seconds you pulled back, gauging his reaction. You blinked a few times, licking your lips. Mikey still looked awe struck. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, trying to search for the right words. Finally he settled on a sentence.

"Did you just...kiss me?"

"I did." you flushed. You hoped It was welcomed, because it was what you'd been longing for shortly after knowing him. Now it sort of made sense. This whole time you thought it was because you wanted to protect him from getting hurt, but the truth was, you cared for him, more than you initially realized.

"I don't get it, you're..you're human (Y/N). Why would you-" you raised a finger, pressing it softly to his lips. "It doesn't matter. I'd like to think if our roles were switched you'd feel the same about me. Do you...feel the same?" You were marking his lips, and Mikey gulped. All the movies, video games and comic books, he thought he would be more ready for such a confession. Yet here he was, completely speechless.

"I....I..." Why couldn't he find the words. He knew how much he felt for you. But as it stood he never even tried pursuing anything for obvious reasons. Now hearing you say you didn't care about all of that, and even kissing him. What else could he possibly hope for. He just wishes he could put that into words.

It was cute, they way he stumbled for the words. Your need to feel his lips again returned, and your other hand came up going around his neck as you slipped into his lap. His hands moved to the couch clearly not expecting the bold move. You snickered, leaning next to his ear.

"You know I used to think you were a player with all your smooth words, but are you secretly shy, Michelangelo." you cooed softly. When you pressed a kiss at the side of his neck, he let out a shaky breath. Your fingers trailed down his chest, so firm, strong. Muscular. You were still littering soft kisses along his neck.

"If I kiss you again, I'd prefer it if you kissed back." Before he could fully prepare you leaned in, sighing in content. Kissing him was everything. When he started to get over the shock of the whole situation, his hands came up hesitantly. You hummed when you felt his hand on your back, and the other slipped into your hair. You were pressed firmly to his body, and the minute his lips slanted over your own, you were sure you went to heaven. How could something so simple feel so good.

Mikey's hands on your body was just what you needed. As time passed, he seemed to be more sure of himself. He opened his mouth, and the moment your tongues touched you moaned. Mikey let out a soft groan, trying to match the intensity that you were pushing. Your hands were wandering over his body, and you should have probably shown some restraint, because even though his brothers weren't in here, they could come back at any minute. Not to mention Splinter was still somewhere in the lair, hopefully sleeping. The sound of bodies filing in alerted you of exactly that. They were back.

Mikey pulled away hurriedly at the sound, and now all three turtles were standing there gaping at the scene.

"I-It's not what it looks like!" Mikey defended.

It was exactly what it looked like.

"Guys seriously, on the couch. " Leo sounded unimpressed.

"No wonder you stayed back. Mikey you sly dog." Raph walked over smacking his younger brother behind the head.

"Come on Raph!" you just stayed planted there, smiling. You liked the little moment, but you really wanted to get back to kissing. When you saw the way they seem to settle around the area to tease Mikey you frowned. Guess there was only one way to get rid of them. You grabbed both sides of his cheeks, smashing your lips to his in a searing kiss. Almost immediately you could hear the groans of disgust.

"Mission success." They didn't stick around after that. And once they were all gone you grinned down at him.

"So...does this mean that you're my girlfriend?" Did he even have to ask. You rolled your eyes, reconnecting your lips.

It was a definite yes.

#michelangelo #leonardo #raphael #splinter #april o'neil #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #donatello #crush #mikey x reader #love #acceptance #movienight #NYPD #newyork

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katedrakeohd · 4 years

Text

Once Upon a Merry Birthday

[Masterlist]

A 12 days of Fictmas story

Pairing: Drake Walker x (MC) Kate Walker

Books: TRR - TRH

Warnings: Swearing, Adult Themes, mentions Post Pardem Depression/Anxiety

Word count: 7000 +

Writer tags: : @texaskitten30 @emichelle @leelee10898 @zaffrenotes @alj4890 @burnsoslow @kat-tia801 @darley1101 @msjr0119 @annekebbphotography @god-save-the-keen @plumeriavibes

@ofpixelsandscribbles @camillemontespan @ao719 @cocomaxley @cordoniansgonewild @twinkleallnight @the-soot-sprite @cordoniantrash @axwalker @innerpostmentality @lucy-268 @janezillow

Reader tags:: @mom2000aggie @sfb123 @bbrandy2002 @debramcg1106 @desireepow-1986 @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject @fluffyfirewhiskey @jovialyouthmusic

Twas the week before Christmas, and throughout the manor at Duchy Valtoria, decorating was in full swing. Everyone was in high festive spirits, since the weather had brought a fresh blanket of white sparkly snow to the ground, and a crisp chill to the air. Well almost everyone was feeling festive. The Duchess was the exception. Over the course of the preceding months she had been too preoccupied with the care of her baby girl, Brooklyn, to even think about holidays. Apart from the occasional official statement to the press regarding how the new Mother and the Princess Royal Heir were doing, they had pretty much kept away from the public eye.

Kate felt so proud of her husband Drake for stepping up and shouldering the extra responsibility while she needed to take a step back. He had insisted it wasn't any trouble, since he’d had Hana, King Liam, and occasionally Bertrand to offer him advice or guidance. But Kate couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt when she would find him sound asleep at his desk after a long day of Zoom meetings and diplomacy. She knew he was forcing himself outside of his common man comfort zone for her sake, and for the good of the Duchy. He'd even changed his work wardrobe to include dress shirts instead of his usual denim, at least from the waist up anyway.

Even after all of that, Drake was determined to do something special for Kate's Birthday. Being born a week before Christmas shouldn't mean your day couldn't be just as grand.

After putting Brooklyn down for a nap, they’re in their bedroom packing for a short trip away. Kate doesn't know what to pack, since Drake was being secretive as to their destination. She was already feeling the beginnings of anxiety over leaving Brooklyn behind. Sitting in the middle of the bed in her comfy oversized sweater and sweatpants, she has the speaker of the baby monitor resting in her lap. She’s only half engaged in paying attention to Drake, her ears keenly listening for the slightest sound from the nursery.

Drake packs a pair of bluejeans into his suitcase, hiding the dress slacks and socks he had already packed. Kate hadn't even noticed him picking out formal wear and putting it into a garment bag. Her own suitcase only contained an old t-shirt that she wore with a pair of shorts as sleepwear. Drake cringed at the thought of seeing her wear that again. Her wardrobe over the past seven months had consisted mostly of his baggy old sweats and t-shirts, or just an old t-shirt and boxer shorts under a robe. Although she showered periodically, and changed into clean things, her sloppy look was proof she wasn't making herself a priority. Drake missed the beautiful, all put together, woman who he’d fallen in love with. She was in need of a break from just being Mom, and Drake knew just how to do it. Kate deserved to feel special again, and not just feel needed by someone.

Drake packed his last few things and zipped up his suitcase. When he notices that Kate is still distracted he pulls his case off the bed and sets it down on the floor with a loud thud. She jumps with fright and he finally gets her attention.

Sitting down on the bed, he pulls her over to him and she cuddles into his arms as they lay down together on the bed. Placing a kiss on the top of her head he sighs, "Look, I get it. You don't want to go anywhere. But I miss you, Kate."

"I'm right here, silly." she says, as she lays her head on his chest and he squeezes her tighter.

"We need a date night. Just the two of us. I know you've been an amazing mother to our little Beanie, and it shows in how big she's growing and how happy she is." He moved his hand down her back, smoothing out the bulky material of her clothes to appreciate the shape of her body underneath. When he lifts up the edge of her shirt, she stiffens when his warm hand touches the bare skin of her lower back. "I know you're physically still here, but I miss my wife."

Kate squeezes her eyes shut against her unexpected tears as she whispers, "She's missed you too."

Drake leans back when he hears the sob in her voice, wiping away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. "You don't need to hide under these bulky clothes, you're still beautiful to me Kate."

She chuckles, "Even if I've given up shaving, plucking and moisturizing?"

Drake raises his eyebrows, and then leans in to kiss her on the forehead. "Don't worry, we can work on minor things like that. I want you to feel good about yourself. Besides, Hana told me you've been doing pilates and yoga together again. So there's nothing for you to feel self conscious about."

"I don't fit into my clothes the way I used to."

Drake shrugs, "So we'll buy you some new clothes. And if we need to alter something from your closet, don't worry, Hana can arrange it."

Kate sighs with gratitude, "You're so wonderful to me Drake, I don't deserve you."

"Oh hush, you deserve all of me and the world Kate, never forget that. Now let's get you packed up for a romantic getaway."

"But Brooklyn.."

Drake gives Kate one more squeeze and a kiss on the cheek before rolling away from her and getting up from the bed.

"Don't worry about Brooklyn, she's in good hands with Hana. Plus we're only a phone call away if you want to check in."

Kate glances over at the speaker for the baby monitor, it's still quiet, and then she sits up on the edge of the bed. "So are you going to tell me more about this romantic getaway you have planned?"

Drake shakes his head, "I can't give away everything, or it will spoil the surprise."

Kate looks over at her suitcase, "Well at least help me figure out what to pack. Sweaters, jeans, warm socks? I need a hint."

Drake nods, "Those will do for a start. Oh and a comfortable pair of warm boots and a coat. We're going to be out in the snow."

Kate gets up from the bed, "So I guess we're not jetting off to some tropical paradise then."

Pulling her into a hug, Drake smiles and then leans in to give her a tender kiss. "Maybe next year."

Drake opened the back door of the SUV for Kate. She gives the manor one more uneasy glance and then climbs in. They had both given Brooklyn hugs and kisses before leaving, and a list of instructions to Hana, but still Kate felt guilty. As Drake opens the other rear door and climbs into the SUV, he finds Kate looking worriedly at her phone as she's texting someone. With a sigh he swipes her phone out of her hands and tucks it into the pocket inside his jacket.

"Wha..Hey!" She protests, "Give that back."

Drake swats away her hands when she tries to go into his jacket for it. "Nope."

"But you said I could check in."

Drake feels the vibration of Kate's phone against his chest. "Don't you trust Hana with Brooklyn?"

Kate gnaws at her bottom lip, "Yeah, but.."

"But nothing. Just take a deep breath and let it go already."

Kate huffs in a quick breath and then lets it out, "Happy? Can I please have my phone back now?"

Drake chuckles as Preston climbs into the front seat and starts the engine, "Only if you promise to turn it off and put it away for the car ride."

Kate folds her arms across her chest and scowls angrily at him. "Ok, fine. But only if you tell me where we're going."

Drake fishes her phone out of his pocket, "Do you remember last year when Max and I did the Father Christmas Parade?"

Kate's expression brightens a little as she relaxes her arms. "Yeah."

Drake sends a quick text to Hana, and then passes the phone over. "Well Max kept going on and on about how pretty the village was decorated for Christmas. And it occurred to me that you were missing out on seeing everything. So I figured we could do the touristy thing and spend the night at an Inn and…"

Kate leans over and covers his mouth with her fingers giggling, "Sssh, you had me at 'pretty village' .

Drake takes her hand and kisses it, "Good, because I want you to have the best Birthday ever."

...

As they travel further away from the manor Kate focuses on the beautiful wintry scenery, and Drake's comforting hand in hers and soon her anxiety fades. It was starting to snow so Preston turned on the wipers. Drake gives Kate's hand a squeeze and then leans forward to tap Preston on the shoulder.

"How do the roads look?"

"So far they're just damp, but we should be fine. We have all wheel drive and snow tires."

Drake sits back again with a nod. "Good to know."

Kate tucks her hand under Drake's arm and leans into his shoulder, he turns to kiss her on the forehead. Kate smiles as she catches the comforting smell of his cologne, "I thought you would have used this opportunity to drive us in your truck. I love sitting next to you in the front seat."

Drake shrugs, "I thought about it. But then I remembered that I needed to get my tires changed, and besides if I was driving…" Drake pauses to tilt her chin up and give her a tender kiss on the lips. "I wouldn't be able to do that, whenever I wanted to."

Kate sighs with happiness, as he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her tighter against him. "I see your point. It's highly frowned upon to cuddle and drive. Or to do other things."

Drake catches Preston's eye in the rearview mirror when he looks back at them, he leans in to whisper in Kate's ear. "Seeing my point, along with doing other things, will have to wait until we don't have an audience."

Kate giggles as his lips move to her neck to plant gentle kisses. "How close are we to this Inn you were talking about?"

Preston shakes his head as he focuses on the road ahead, trying to ignore the sounds from the backseat.

….

An hour later Drake gently shakes Kate's shoulder to wake her. The warm interior of the car had lulled her to sleep and she had her head on his lap.

"Wakey wakey, Birthday Katie."

Kate moans sleepily and hugs him across the knees, "Five more minutes."

The rush of cold air on her face when Preston opens his door to get out jolts her awake and Drake laughs. "We're here, and I think you could use some fresh air to revive you."

Kate sits up and stretches, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth, "Oh sorry, must have dozed off."

Drake looks past Kate to the building they're parked in front of, "That's ok, you're forgiven. There wasn't much to see during the drive anyway, just snow and trees and mountains. We've finally made it to civilization."

Kate steps out of the car and looks up at the towering stone facade of their hotel, "Wow, this place is beautiful."

While she takes her phone out of her pocket to take pictures, Preston signals for Drake's attention and then pulls him aside.

"The weather reports are forecasting nasty weather tomorrow afternoon, what time in the morning do you want to be picked up?"

Drake shakes his head with a frown,"Didn't you get the itinerary that I sent to your email? Along with the list of things I need you to do?"

"Yes, but under the circumstances I thought you might want to change your plans. For safety's sake."

"I booked us for two days, and I don't plan on leaving early."

"But there's a storm coming." Preston insists.

"And your point is?"

"You're likely to get snowed in, and it'll take most of the second day before the roads are cleared. Meaning it'll take longer for me to come get you."

"Yes, it will." Drake replies, patting Preston on the arm. "Just do as I've asked, and then help yourself to a nice dinner at the hotel. Charge it to my room, and then go home."

Kate glances over at them with a look of concern, "What're you two talking about?"

Preston smirks at Drake, "You've got this all planned don't you? You saw the weather report."

"I did. Now please stop fucking around and get our luggage." Drake mumbles and then walks over to Kate.

He wraps his arm around her shoulders with a smile, steering her toward the hotel. "Welcome to Ravenhurst Castle, Kate. Our romantic getaway awaits."

Looking up at the steep slate roof, stone masonry, and tower climbing the corner of the building, Kate could see why they called it a castle. "You didn't have to go through this much trouble for me, Drake. I would have been just as happy staying at a simple Bed and Breakfast."

Drake stops on the stone walkway to pull her into his arms, "You're special to me, Kate. I couldn't let you spend the night just anywhere."

"But.."

Drake grabs her hand and then leads her up to the front door, "Just roll with it."

Preston follows them through the hotel lobby carrying their luggage. The three of them turn heads as they make their way to the front desk. Even dressed casually in jeans and sweaters, the presence of someone carrying your stuff was a dead giveaway that you were important. Preston drops their bags by the counter and takes up a protective position to watch the room. His fierce stare makes all the onlookers hurry off and mind their own business.

The hotel clerk behind the counter is bubbling with excitement and greets them with a wide smile, "Oh my goodness, welcome to The Ravenhurst! It's an incredible honour to have the Duke and Duchess stay with us. I'll have our best -..."

Drake shakes his head and holds up his hand to interrupt, "We already have a reservation."

"You..you do?" The clerk grabs her computer mouse and starts scrolling away as she searches the hotel registry on her computer screen.

"So you're not here to promote the Father Christmas Festival?"

Drake leans his elbows on the counter and lowers his voice,"Not this time. I was hoping to keep our visit as an unofficial one. We're under a different name. Try a reservation under Jones."

The clerk gives him a knowing smile, whispering. "Why of course Mr. Jones. I see your booking right here on my screen." Her expression changes to a frown when she notices something, "Unfortunately your room isn't quite ready. If you're looking for immediate accommodations though I could upgrade you to a suite."

"That will be fine, we just don't want to be fussed over, no paparazzi, just a quiet visit. Could you manage that for us please?"

Kate leaves Drake at the counter and wanders over to take pictures of the giant lobby Christmas tree. Preston breathes a sigh of annoyance at having his attention divided, he moves to another place in the lobby where he can still keep an eye on both of them. Kate sees the bodyguard move out of the corner of her eye and decides to tease him a little. "Hey Preston, come on over and take a selfie with me over by the tree."

He checks to see that Drake is still in conversation with the clerk, and then after taking a quick visual sweep of the room for possible threats he nods, "Only because the position of the tree provides an optimal vantage point from which to survey the room."

Preston stands next to the tree, unsmiling and on alert. Kate tries to stand close enough to him so that he fits into the frame of her phone camera, but can't get a good angle because he's so tall. "You don't smile much do you?"

Preston keeps his eyes trained on the room and mumbles. "I'm on duty, Your Grace."

Kate makes a funny face at her phone screen, trying to crack Preston's facade and get him to smile. "I've seen you talk to Drake and be more relaxed. Are you scared of little ole me?"

Preston doesn't answer at first, hazarding a glance her way and then looking away when their eyes meet on her phone screen. "It's not you I'm afraid of."

Across the room Drake steps away from the check-in counter and then walks over with a smirk on his face.

"Is she misbehaving, Preston?"

Preston gives a slight nod and then steps aside to give Drake room to slip his arm around Kate, "Our room isn't quite ready. But I may have arranged for some special hotel extras during our stay."

Kate snuggles into his warmth, feeling that familiar flutter that ripples through her every time she gets lost in his eyes, or he lights her up with his smile. "Oh? What sort of special extras?"

"Ravenhurst has a spa and salon onsite, two restaurants, and their own winery."

"Ooh, fancy. But didn't you promise me a tour of a pretty little town decorated for Christmas?"

Drake grins, "I did, and it would be a nice way to kill some time while they get our room ready. Besides, after being cooped up in the car for so long I could use a walk to stretch my legs."

Kate looks over at Preston, "Is Mr.Tall Broad shouldered and Serious coming with us?"

Drake notices Preston clenching his jaw trying not to react to her question, "No, he has other things to do. Then he's going home."

"But, Your Grace.." Preston argues.

After taking a quick look around to make sure they weren't causing a scene in the lobby, Drake answers quietly, "But nothing, just see to it that our luggage is safely taken up to our room when it's ready. Grab a meal on us, and then you're free to go. Don't worry about us, Preston, we'll be fine."

…

Drake and Kate leave Preston behind at the hotel to walk arm in arm to the village. Glancing back over her shoulder at the hotel, Kate asks, “Do you really think Preston can turn off Guard Duty mode long enough for us to have a private stroll?”

“I’m betting he’ll give us a five minute head start at least before he starts tracking us in the SUV.”

Kate giggles as the snowflakes tickle her cheeks and eyelashes, “Thanks for doing this for me. I really did need to get out of the house for a bit.”

Drake pulls his winter hat down further over his ears, his warm breath floating away in the chilly air, “You’re welcome. We both needed this. There’s nothing like taking a walk through a winter wonderland to lift your spirits.”

The tiny village of Raven’s Rest loves to decorate for Christmas. Every railing, light pole, and window was either trimmed with greenery and twinkling lights or wore a sparkling red bow or festive ornaments. With the fresh snow on the roofs and joyful music spilling out from every other opened shop door, it felt and looked like Christmas spirit came to life. The scents of cinnamon, nutmeg and chocolate wafted from a bakery café as Drake and Kate passed under its

striped red and white awning. Drake pulled in a deep breath and smiled as he pointed at the frosted gingerbread house displayed in the window.

“This looks like a perfect place to stop for a hot chocolate and a treat. What do you say Kate?”

Kate felt her stomach growl, “I say lead the way Mr. Jones.”

After ordering hot chocolates topped with whipped cream and candy cane sprinkles, and a plate of decorated cookies to share, they’re seated at a table for two by the window. Drake picks up a gingerbread star and bites off a corner. He looks at the decadent drink sitting in front of him and wonders if there was a possible way to not get it all over his face when he attempted to taste it.

Kate can see the confusion on his face as he chews his cookie, she giggles as she stirs the whipped cream on the top of her cup with a candy cane. “You look scared. Don’t worry it won’t bite. And no there isn't any way to avoid the whipped topping to get at the drink underneath. A little cream on your face is all part of the fun.”

She demonstrates by lifting her cup and delicately sipping at the candied rim, a smear of cream clings to her upper lip when she sets it back down. “See? Think of it just like your Santa beard from last year.”

Drake mumbles as he scrubs at the light stubble on his cheek, “Don't remind me.”

His beard had been much further along the year before, and he had used white stage makeup to whiten his whiskers. Unfortunately the makeup had made his skin itch. This year he was grateful that Maxwell was volunteering to be Santa for the parade.

Drake nearly chokes on his cookie as he watches Kate lick the cream off her lip. He coughs into his fist and then picks up his drink to wash down the crumbs. He gets cream on his nose and lips, and then wipes it off with a napkin, “It's much more fun to watch you drink it.”

Kate noisily slurps the whipped cream on the top of her hot chocolate, while Drake grabs a sugar cookie and uses it to scoop the froth off of his. “Ooh Drake, that's a good idea.”

The café is nearly empty of patrons and Kate is grateful not to have onlookers taking their picture, especially with the way Drake was devouring his cookie and getting cream all over his mouth and chin. She giggles and hands him another napkin, "You, uh have a little something on your face there honey."

Drake grunts, "Thanks."

He's annoyed at how sticky his face feels as he wipes off the cream, "Drinks don't need all this extra crap on them. That's why I prefer my coffee basic and black. And my hot chocolate tasting like chocolate."

"Oh bah humbug Mr. Scrooge, I figured a guy so into s'mores and marshmallows would enjoy something like this."

Drake wipes the cookie crumbs off of his jacket, "Hey don't get me wrong, I love a decorated cookie or dessert. But I prefer my drinks a little less childish and messy."

Kate shrugs, "I guess I see your point. But never tell Hana she can't put marshmallows in your hot chocolate, it would break her heart."

He nods, glancing at Kate's phone on the table. "If you want to check in with her, I won't stop you. I'm curious myself how our little Beanie is doing."

Kate wipes her hands on a napkin and then picks up her phone, "You don't mind? I'm dying to send her pictures of the hotel Christmas tree and tell her where we are."

Drake smiles and then lifts his hot chocolate to his lips. He doesn't dare tell Kate that he and Hana had been planning this birthday trip for weeks.

While Kate happily texts away to Hana, Drake watches the snow falling outside the window. The grey sky was darkening as the flakes got heavier. They soon needed to head back to the hotel. The pedestrian traffic was much lighter than when they entered the café, and the street lamps were coming on. He can see the dark shape of an SUV creeping along the street in the distance. No doubt it was Preston.

Drake is in mid-sip when his phone rings in his pocket, making him jump and spill the hot chocolate all over himself and the table. "Gah! Son of a - …"

Kate gasps in surprise and jumps out of her seat. "Oh my goodness, Drake."

She grabs the remaining napkins from the table and dabs at the front of his jacket as he puts down his cup and pushes his chair back. He swats her hands away when she tries to wipe his lap, "It's ok, it's ok! Let me do that."

Kate chews on her lip as she watches an employee approach with a roll of paper towels.

"I'm so sorry. We'll clean this up. Could you bring us a bag so we can take our cookies to go?"

Drake sighs as he unzips his jacket and takes out his phone when the ringing stops, "Preston, you Prick."

The car pulls up outside and parks, waiting, the wipers swiping away the snow. Drake sends Preston a quick message, I told you to go home.

Preston answers back, Need a lift?

Drake and Kate pile into the backseat of the SUV, brushing the snow off of themselves. In the clean, warm interior of the vehicle the scent of the spilled hot chocolate on Drake's clothes is very noticeable, adding to his discomfort at having wet pants.

Drake takes off his jacket and then folds it up and puts it down on the floor. He inspects his sweater and shirt for chocolate stains.

"Thanks for picking us up, Preston. If we'd tried to walk back to the hotel we would have been soaked and frozen before we got there," Kate says, smiling at the security guard."

"I'm already soaked," Drake mutters, looking down at the dark wet stain on his lap.

Kate pats him on the arm, "I meant from the snow, Dear."

Preston checks their surroundings and then does a u-turn in the road to take them back to the hotel.

"How did he find us anyway?"

Drake answers, "Most likely tracked my phone with the GPS."

Kate looks at him with surprise, "He can track our phones? Is that even legal?"

Drake nods, "After Anton kidnapped us from our own wedding, it was discussed among the council that the security team needed extra help in case it ever happened again. Liam approved it."

"I guess that makes sense. But then all we would have needed to do to escape would leave our phones behind."

Preston speaks up, "It's not a foolproof plan, Your Grace, but it still gives us a place to start if one of you suddenly went missing."

It doesn't take long to return to the hotel, but thanks to the heavy clouds it was already getting dark. When Preston parks the SUV Drake asks, "So did you deliver all of our bagage to our room and do a security check to make sure it was safe?"

"Of course, Sir."

"Did you get yourself a room, Preston? It's too late for you to head home now."

Drake looks at Kate with a frown, "Don't encourage him to babysit us."

"It's his job to keep us safe, Drake, so let him do it."

…

After collecting their room keys the three of them head up to their rooms. Preston has conveniently booked the room next to Drake and Kate.

"Consider yourself off duty for the rest of the evening, Preston. Relax and enjoy yourself." Kate says, smiling.

"If that's at all possible." Drake mutters as he unlocks the door to their room.

As soon as Drake enters the room he starts stripping off his clothes. Kate can't help but laugh. "Woah there cowboy, at least warm me up with some foreplay before we jump right into it."

Drake grumbles as he kicks off his boots and then unzips his jeans, "Ha ha, so not funny. At least you don't smell and feel like a walking candy bar."

Kate leans against the corner of the antique four poster bed as she watches Drake fuss around half naked, digging around in his luggage for his bath supplies. "I dunno, I kind of like the smell of chocolate on you. Gives me a reason to seek out all the parts of you that taste the sweetest."

Drake can't help but grin, as he leans in to kiss her cheek. Kate frowns when she realizes how sticky his face is. "Still like it?"

Kate makes a face and then wipes at her cheek. "Ok, I get it. Go get a shower and a shave."

As he wanders across the room naked, Drake points at the Welcome Basket on the table by the window.

"I asked the hotel if they could throw in some complimentary spa treatments as a Birthday gift. Why don't you check some of them out and then we could go to the restaurant for dinner. Go get yourself all pampered and feeling gorgeous for our date night."

Before Kate can protest that she had nothing fancy to wear to dinner, Drake disappears into the bathroom. With a shrug she picks up the spa brochure and then sits down on the bed while she nibbles on the cookies from the bakery.

"Oooh, they have a special brown sugar body scrub treatment. That would feel so nice, and I would smell delicious afterward." Kate mumbles around her mouthful of cookie. "And I could get my hair and nails done, perfect."

After looking through the envelope of coupons for the free treatments she wanted, Kate walks over to the bathroom door and knocks. "Thanks so much for the spa coupons, I'm going to take advantage of some of these and then see you later."

Drake rinses his razor in the sink and then pauses his shaving to answer, "Good for you. Text me when you're all finished and I'll meet you here to get ready. I'm going to explore the hotel a little bit myself."

Kate kisses her fingertips and then presses them to the door, "Love you, Drake."

Drake smiles, "I love you too."

After finishing his shave and shower, Drake finds the phone number on the brochure and calls down to the Spa.

When his call is answered there's a women's voice on the line, "Bella Salon and Spa, how may I help you?"

Drake runs his hand back through his wet hair, "Hi, do you have a customer there booked in under the name Jones or Walker?"

"I'm sorry, sir, in order to respect the privacy of our clients we cannot disclose that information."

"Oh, Ok. I understand. My wife is there and I want to book a haircut without her seeing me. I want to surprise her later during our dinner date."

"Our salon closes within the hour, but if you're in need of a clipper cut I can squeeze you in right away. What name should I put next to your reservation?"

Drake thinks for a moment, "Davis, Preston Davis."

…

Kate sits in the makeup chair at the Salon in one of their plush robes. She felt like she had just received the royal treatment after the body scrub and facial. Next they were doing the finishing touches to her makeup application and hair styling, followed by a manicure and pedicure. On the other side of the partition wall she can hear the sound of a pair of clippers buzzing on and off and occasionally a man's voice in conversation with the stylist.

She couldn't be sure because of the way the sounds echoed off of the hard surfaces in the salon, but it sounded like Drake. She felt like a bride on her wedding day trying to hide away from the groom until she was ready. It made her tingle with excitement inside over meeting him for dinner. In her mind she was mulling over what blouse and pair of jeans to wear, wishing she had packed something more feminine. But knowing that Drake would probably be dressed casually as well helped.

…

Drake sat at the bar in his black dress shirt, jacket and slacks. He had to resist the urge to smooth his hand over his freshly trimmed hair, hoping that Kate would like it. Any minute now she'd be returning to their room to dress for dinner. He picked at the bowl of mixed nuts and pretzels on the bar, and singled out all the peanuts to munch on as he waited.

An attractive female bartender smiles as she notices him sitting all by himself and walks over, "Good evening sir, could I interest you in a drink? Or are you more interested in grazing from the snack bowl."

"I'll take a whiskey on the rocks, for now." Drake answers, trying to maintain his composure as her hungry gaze makes him feel like he's the snack.

"For now? Are you anticipating ordering more later?"

He smiles as she prepares his drink, "I'm expecting someone."

She nods as she slides the glass of whiskey back across the bar to him, "Well, when your date arrives let me know. I'll get her something special. My name is Amanda by the way."

Drake picks up his glass and gives the whiskey an appreciative sniff and then a sip, he nods toward Amanda lifting his glass in a salute, "Drake."

His phone buzzes in his pocket as he sets the glass down again.

…

Kate lets herself back into her room after her time at the spa. The soft coziness of the robe wrapped around her felt so nice, and she hated to take it off to put on her casual denim again.

She's surprised to find herself alone in the room and sends Drake a quick text. Spa appt all done, feeling fantastic. Where are you?

D: I'm down at the bar enjoying a whiskey. Can't wait to see you.

K: What should I wear? I didn't pack anything fancy.

D: There's a present for you under the bed.

K: Drake.

D: Just read the letter attached and humor me. Happy Birthday Kate.

…

Kate puts her phone down on the table and purses her lips with a frown, she was afraid of what might be in the box. After hiding under baggy clothes and bluejeans for months she was worried that whatever was in the box wouldn't fit.

Kneeling down on the floor she peeks under the bed. There's a large green rectangular box and a smaller white one that looked like a shoe box. She drags out the green box first and sets it on the bed. There's an envelope taped to the top. She should feel happy about Drake buying her a present but she just felt nervous instead. Sucking in a deep breath and then letting it out to help calm her nerves, Kate opens the envelope. There's a handwritten letter inside, and she can't help but feel a rush of emotion at the care it took for him to write it all by hand.

____

Dear Kate,

I'll never forget the night we met. We were all there for him, and then along came you. At the time you were just the waitress that was willing to show us a good time. I thought you were cute and all, but never figured I would stand a chance. You made an impression on a future King that night, and an impression on me.

I'm not sure when everything changed in my favor, maybe it was that night at Applewood or maybe it was when I jumped in front of that bullet, realizing I would rather die than live in a life without you. We've been through a lot to get where we are now, and despite the ups and downs you married me instead. You've shown me a life and love I never thought I'd have and for that I'll be eternally grateful.

Now between us we've created a new life in our little girl. Becoming a parent changes a person. You're no longer responsible for just your own life but for someone else's too. Some days this scares me to death, and then I see you holding Brooklyn in your arms and know that we're going to be alright.

I'm excited to discover my new life as a father, and to get to know the mother you are becoming. So tonight on your Birthday I want to meet you all over again for the first time. So what do you say Kate? Have you ever wanted to meet that mysterious stranger in a bar that only has eyes for you?

Love, Drake.

___

Kate plucked a tissue out of the box on the bedside table. She was glad that she had chosen the waterproof mascara, because now her eyes burned with tears. Drake was right, becoming a mom had changed her. At times she was scared too, but knowing that Drake was always going to be by her side to help raise Brooklyn made her heart feel more full. After dabbing at her eyes she delicately blew her nose, not wanting to smudge her makeup, and then lifted the cover on the box. Peeling back the tissue paper she gasps and then reaches for her phone.

….

Drake finished off his whiskey and then checked the time on his phone. He didn't want to call her in case she was busy getting dressed, but he was starting to worry that she wasn't going to show. Amanda raises her eyebrows and holds up the whiskey bottle to quietly ask if he wanted a refill. He shakes his head and then sticks his hand in the snack bowl again to grab a pretzel. Before he can eat it his phone rings. It's Kate.

"Hello?" He answers.

"I can't wear this."

"Sure you can."

"Because of the way the top is designed I can't wear a bra."

Drake shrugs, "So don't wear one."

"Hah! This mother of a 7 month old child needs a little more support thank you very much."

"Didn't you wear a dress similar to this to Max's birthday party last year?"

"Well, yes…"

"Just try it on. I promise you'll look beautiful in it."

"You're biased because you think I look good in anything."

"Yes, I do. I also think you look good in nothing at all. Now are you coming down to dinner?"

Kate is quiet on the other end for a few seconds, "Ok, fine. But I need pretty shoes to wear with a dress like this."

Drake smiles, "I'm guessing you haven't opened the other box yet. When you're ready, text Preston and ask him to escort you down to Edgar's Restaurant. I'll be waiting for you over by the bar."

Continue on here >>

#12 days of fictmas 2020 #12 days of fictmas #drake walker #drake x kate #choices

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imma-potatoo · 4 years

Text

I HAD TOO

I AM NOT SORRY AT ALL @superwholockandpfl

This is once again written for my friend k.c.cosplay on tiktok! Once again, amazing cosplays 💙💛💙💛💙💛💙

Same universe then this fic

*Logan is a dark side*

Ships: Loceit, parental logicality, parental anxceit

Warnings: none that I know of? Let me know if you want me to tag something

-----------

Perseus and Andromeda

-----------

Logan and Janus stood in front of the other four. Smiles completely coated their faces as they both held out their left hands. Janus holding Logan's bicep with his right hand.

Rings. On both of them.

"You- you got married?" Patton's voice was timid. He didn't expect this day to come. But he currently wanted his father-son dance with Logan

Janus and Logan's faces quickly turned to shock. "What?! No! We're engaged! These are engagement rings daa-- Patton!" Logan blushed at the almost use of Pattons old title. Not that Logan didn't view Patton as a father figure -far from it, Janus and him were the youngest sides- but calling someone dad while you are practically the same age and completely imaginary is quite weird in his opinion but I mean-

"My love, your zoning out again."

Logan could hear the amusement in his fiance's voice. Squeezing Janus' hand slightly; Logan cleared his thoat, "What was that question again?"

Roman was slightly laughing before Remus elbowed him in the ribs, "OW REM-" "Roman sh! Do you have a date picked out yet?" Virgil had a hopeful shimmer in his eyes

Logan and Janus looked at eachother briefly, "Not really, to be honest" Janus laughed slightly. "He just asked me last night," a lose curl falling from behind the yellow sides ear. Logan quickly catching it to tuck it back to its rightful place

The sides migranted over to couch. They had a feeling that they'll be talking for a while.

"Any ideas on a theme yet?" Roman was bouncing enthusiastically, hands tight fisted on the couch. A huge ear to ear grin spread on his face

Logan hummed, thinking back to a precious conversation, "We're thinking victorian or dark academia. But we're open to any suggestions!" his hand was tracing circles over and over on Janus' back.

Roman jumped off the couch. Bouncing up and down over and over and over, "FEAR NOT MY BELOVED FRIENDS! I will help you plan it!"

Romans eyes sparkled rapidly. Grin glowing like wild, he paused for a second or two before gasping, "WE COULD HAVE IT IN A HUGE GOLDEN BALLROOM! With crystal plates! And a hundred foot tall cake! An-"

It was at that point where the blue and yellow sides completely zoned out to Romans tangent.

The newly engaged couple gave eachother a look. This look said a lot of things. But mainly 'are we seriously going to let a side who thinks throwing glitter at random objects equels fashion. Complete control of our wedding?' that look. Its a very very specific look. But its a very obvious look.

The red creativity seemed to notice the couples glazed over eyes and blank expression. So he quickly stopped his rant to add on a rather important detail, "I mean... If you guys want me to help. Its completely ok if you don't!! I mean, its ok, I just-"

"Roman for the love of all things holy. Please stop talking." Logan was rubbing his temple with his free hand, "We would love to have you help plan our wedding. But we don't need a ballroom, or crystal plates, or any fancy fairy tale type things." He squeezed Janus' hand with a bright grin, "We just need eachother."

Roman's dramatic pose and extreme tangent faltered. He paused. Seeming to process the information. Before a small grin took his face. "then thats what you two will have."

Janus moved his gaze from Roman to the green twin... Looking at the floor.... With a pout that could kill a god.... Looking very non-Remus esq.

"Remus, do you also want to help plan our wedding?"

In the span of a second, Remus' face bounced between 50 different emotions before settling on complete and utter happiness, "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK MY AMAZING DOUBLE D-"

Patton slapped his hand over Remus' mouth, "lets not talk about my future son-in-law like that! eeewwwWWWWWW!!! ROMAN HE LICKED MY HAND!!" Patton snapped his hand away as soon as he put it on.

Laughter filled the rest of the night... And quite a bit of wine.

------2 mouths later-----

Logan grumbled as he threw another crumpled piece of paper against the desk. Elbows on the desk, hands pressing into his eyes.

His supposed vows were going amazingly. Completely. Totally. A hundred percent. Amazing....... Oh who was he kidding? His vows were going terribly.

Not from lack of love or anything absolutely ridiculous like that. He loved Janus more then the stars, moon and galaxies combined. He loved everything about Janus.

He loved Janus' snark. He loved the way his eyes glowed when they watched a movie. Or how Janus' voice drips like steeped honey and smoked chives. Or how his snake eye dilates when he's happy. Or when he gets excited and talks for hours and hours about a philosopher or a certain myth that sparked his interest or reminded him of their relationship-

Thats it.

The last myth that Janus was talking about was Perseus and Andromeda.

Andromeda was to be sacrificed to save her kingdom because her mother boasted about her beauty to the nererids. The nererids told their father, Poseidon, and as revenge; Poseidon sent a sea monster to ravenge the kingdom. Perseus, the hero who slayed Medusa, saw Andromeda chained to the stone and slayed the sea monster. After saving her, he took her hand in marriage.

It was far from their love story. Far far from their love story. But...

The way his eyes lit up.

Logan could get drunk on that look. He could live off that look alone for the rest of his life. Oh and that smile

Logan takes his head out of his hands. Mouth agape.

He had an idea

---------

Janus had been hitting his head against his desk for hours.

Janus could write millions of speeches, and could convince armys to do his bidding, and he could use empty words to get his desires.

But these damn vows.

Janus supposes that its because he isn't used to truth. But he wants too! But the truth seems to be avoiding him more then mouse with a cat.

Logan likes cats, he could never get one before because Patton's allergic. Should he even call Patton by his name? Wouldn't he call him dad now?

He allowed his mind to wonder for a short period of time. Elbows on the desk, hands pressing into his eyes.

This needs to be the truth and its not like he's low on love for Logan. Far far from it

They met when they were younger. Really really younger. He doesn't even remember it. But according to Virgil, Logan and him stared at eachother for five minutes before actually talking to eachother -more like babbling- after that they were practically inseparable. They did everything together apparently. Then they stayed friends for a long time. They barely even talked to eachother by the time that he introduced himself to Thomas. But...

But then Logan became a dark side. Logan started to unbutton the top of his polo. Logan stopped wearing the tie. Logan started to wear ice blue makeup. The Logan he knew as a child came back.

The Logan who loved science, bugs and books. Who loved ranting about old dead philosophers and Janus loved to listen. Logan loved old libraries and classical music. The Logan that used to watch Bill Nye as a child and knows the theme song by heart. The Logan that loved old myths and stories. The Logan who would go outside to the imagination and watch the stars and constellations for hours. His Logan

His favourite constellation was Perseus-

He has an idea.

----The Wedding Day----

Janus adjusted his suit for probably the millionth time. Running his fingers through his hair, attempting to make it lay properly. But only making the curls more wild.

Grumbling obscurities while trying to smooth down his damn hair, he heard low chuckles behind him.

"You know your only gonna make it worse, right Jan?" Virgil was leaning against the wall. His own hair absolutely perfect.

Janus sighed, "I know dad. But I just want my damn hair to lay properly for once! This is why I wear my damn hat-" the chuckles turned into full laughter.

"Logan will love you, no matter how your hair looks," Virgil stood up straight (HA) and walked over to Janus

He took a comb and started to go through his hair. Janus stopped growing by the time he was fifteen, so he was maybe at shoulder height with Virgil. "You need to stop worrying so much, and thats coming from me. Lo loves you more then the sun itself. Don't worry about something as silly as your hair."

Janus watched from the floor to ceiling mirror as Virgil expertly calmed down the mess of his hair.

Meanwhile.....

"Patton please stop crying. Your going to stain my suit-"

"BUT MY BABY'S GETTING MARRIED!!!" tears were still leaking down his face. He's been doing this since he came into the room -which was about twenty minutes ago-

Logan sighed, a smile apparent on his face as he patted his father figure on the back. "I know." he straightened his bowtie slightly in the mirror, "I just love him so much dad," Patton sat down in one of the dressing room chairs. A smile covering his entire face.

"Jan isn't really one to cry. But when I proposed to him? Tears just started leaking. I thought he was upset, so I went to comfort him," blush growing on his cheeks, "then he kissed me and looked me directly in the eyes and said yes." Logan felt a huge grin spreading on his cheeks against his will. He looked out of the mirror and back to his father. "He said yes."

Patton stood up from his seat and put his hands on Logan's shoulders, "and now its your wedding day. You two are going to get married and live out your lives being complete loveable nerds as you talk about philosophy and the stars and things I could never understand. You two are absolutely perfect for eachother and I can't wait to see where you two go next." while tears still shone in his eyes, the smile showed that they were of happiness.

They stared at eachother for a few minutes. Patton nitpicking small details to fix on Logan's suit.

"Janus the one walking down the isle right?"

Logan laughed softly, "yeah, he said it was a more dramatic entrance. Thats my future husband, right there"

Patton looked a little puzzled, "Can you even call him your future husband if the ceremony is starting in less then ten?"

"I mean, technically thats in the futur- wait. How much time was left?"

Patton blinked. Looking in the eyes of his son, "Ten minutes."

A look of panic shot through Logan. "We have to go!"

Logan grabbed Patton's hand. Pulling him out to the room. The celebration hall was stunning

It was outside, circle tables scattered around the clearing like the stars above scattered in the sky. A banquet table for the newly weds, their parents and their best men. The altar was covered in delicate fairy lights illuminating a soft glow. The shimmering stars above their heads shone brighter the usual. The constellations of Perseus and Andromeda were by far the brightest.

Logan stopped in his tirade to the altar. And simply looked at the brilliant view that the twins had put together for them.

For once in his life. Logan was speechless.

"They did a good job right?!?"

Logan was still looking around the meadow, amazed at every tiny detail. From the black dahilas that Remus insisted on including because of the famous unsolved murder, to the fairy lights climbing up the pillers that was no doubt Roman's doing.

"Its beautiful... How di-"

"The twins are a very creative bunch, kiddo!! We have five minutes until your wonderful groom comes out!" The other guests were starting to fill the room as Logan took his place at the altar. It was mostly figments that Thomas had made. Emile, Remy, The Critic, etc. They all took their seats and watched the meadow.

Logan walked over to his place next to the altar. Hands fidgety and resisting the urge to mess with the hair that he spent so long combing down. Roman stood at his side, while Remus waited at the other side of the altar for Janus. Before he knew it the music started to play, the quests rose from their seats, he felt his desire to stand straight. But none of those compared to when Janus walked into the room.

Janus walked in with Virgil latched on to his arm. A periwinkle blossem on the left of his chest. He still had his yellow gloves on -he really hated taking them off. Without the gloves, Janus couldn't lie- but he was without his hat. He was in a black tux with a yellow bowtie.

Logan couldn't think of anything else more beautiful. Logan couldn't think of anyone more beautiful then the side in front of him. Logan couldn't help the gigantic, ear to ear smile as Janus arrived at the altar and took his hands in his own.

The officiant -Who Roman just summoned from the imagination- cleared his voice and spoke to the whole room of people, "Friends and Family, we are gathered here today to connect two side's hearts and souls through this ceremony.

Logic Logan Sanders, Do you take this side to love and to hold, to protect and charish and to adore until the end of your lives?"

His smile growing wider, eyes sparkling with deep love and affection; Logan gazed into Janus' eyes, lightly squeezing his hands. "More then the sun and the stars."

The officiant smiled slightly before turning to Janus. "Deceit Janus Sanders, Do you take this side to love and hold, to protect and charish and to adore until the end of your lives?"

Tears shone throughout Janus' eyes. He removed his hands from Logans and for a second the blue side felt his heart drop, only for it to swell when he sees Janus remove his gloves and place his hands back in Logans. "More then every lie, secret and promise I have ever made."

The officiant turned back to Logan, "Please say your vows."

Logan felt his heart throb as he opened his mouth,

"Janus. In the very very long time that I have known you, I find myself falling more in love with you every day. I love how you laugh. I love how when you're tired you curl up to my side. I love how you stay by my side through it all. My translation from a light side to dark, my learning cerve to our new family, every dilemma from the others that we have to enviably fix.

Every night, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. You occupy my mind. And god Janus, I never want you to leave it.

I love you. I love you more then Perseus loved Andromeda." Logan's eyes were shining with unshed tears, he lightly squeezed Janus' hands. "I love you Janus and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

The officiant nodded, then he turned to Janus. "Please speak your vows."

Janus drew a shaky breath before speaking.

"Logan, I honestly don't remember when we met. You were my only constant, the unchanging variable that I could always fall back on. You were always there for me and I want to always be there for you.

I love you more then anything Logan. The way you light up when a new documentary comes out, drives butterflies to my stomach. When you laugh, I get lightheaded. When you smile, I get bolts of electricity to my heart. When you take me to the imagination for a date among the stars, I get so love drunk that things get dizzy. When you took me to our favourite place and got on one knee, I cried tears of joy.

There is nothing that I don't love about you. I've always found honest words hard to process. But believe me when I say that I've said no lies to you. You are the one person I will never lie to. I love you more then Andromeda loved Perseus," Janus looked up at Logan. The height difference apparent, but he smiled like he never smiled before. "I love you Logan. And I cannot wait to call you my husband."

The two sides gave eachother looked at eachother with pure adoration and love.

"Please put these rings on eachother."

They could hear Patton's loud sobs in the background as they slipped on the rings.

The officiant smiled wide, "I now pronounce you, Husband and Husband! You may now kiss your groom!"

They flew together like magnets. Logan grabbed the side of Janus' face to pull him closer, the earthy smell of cloves and plums filling his senses. Janus held Logan's arms and pulled him towards him. The kiss was far from chaste, but they pulled apart not long after to be met with......

"NOW YOU GOTTA STRIP AND FU-- OW ROMAN!!"

"NOT AT THE WEDDING YOU BABOON!"

The twins were a very chaotic bunch...

The wedding continued perfectly as planned. Then it came to the father-son dances.

Virgil as Janus were doing well. Virgil was giving Janus his best wishes and telling him how proud he was if him.

Patton and Logan??

Patton always cries at wedding to say the least...

Then it was their turn to dance.

Logan took his husbands hand and led him to the dance floor. It was lit by only fairy lights and the extra bright stars. They twirled and spinned and danced like they was only the two there.

The two battled for the lead before Logan won. Hand now in the swell of Janus' back and leading him in a very elaborate ballroom dance. Janus' scales glowing a bright yellow. Even over the music you could hear their laughter.

Patton and Virgil stood on the sidelines. Watching as their children had their fun. Virgil hummed slightly, "you owe me twenty bucks Patt."

Patton was very confused, he hadn't made any new bets recently or borrowed any money. "Why is that kiddo?"

Virgil turned and looked at Patton, "Ten years ago, you bet me that Lo and Jan would never get married. You owe me a twenty."

Patton grumbled slightly as he pulled a bill from his jacket pocket and handed it over. "This is the best bet I've ever lost then."

Virgil laughed, purple beginning to dust under his eyes. "You got that right," He took two glasses of champagne from the waiters walking by, "To our beloved children?"

Patton took the glass and raised it with Virgil. "To our beloved children." they then took a long sip and continued to watch as the couple danced.

The stars shining above, the moon full. They loved eachother more then Perseus and Andromeda.

-------

I. REGRET. NOTHING!!!

I also have 0 self control soo

The charcters are very ooc... But I don't overly care.

💙💛💙💛💙💛💙💛

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gra-sonas · 4 years

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Currently airing its second season and already renewed for its third, The CW’s Roswell, New Mexico continues to push the story of alien siblings attempting to live peacefully in the town of Roswell to new places even perhaps for fans of the original Roswell. MICHAEL VLAMIS discusses working on the show, the complexities of his character, Michael Guerin, the many (MANY) other projects on his plate and more!

watchtivist: To start off, congratulations on the success of the show! How cool that you’re heading into season three now!

MICHAEL VLAMIS: It’s crazy, I remember when I got the call that I was going to be on the show in the first place. It’s the role that changed my life and it really set me up for all the other things going on in my life. I remember getting that call, crying in a public place. So jacked up! And now all of a sudden, it’s like no big deal. I watched the episode last night (episode 207) on the TV and I get reminded it’s a big deal when I talk to my parents after every episode and hear their thoughts. Just the fact that they get to see their son miles away on television once a week. I appreciate you saying that because sometimes it feels like this is something we’re doing now, but definitely taking those moments to be grateful and the fact that we have season three is amazing.

W: It’s really great, especially in this landscape where shows don’t really get to dig into things. It’s gotta be exciting!

MV: Definitely.

W: One of the questions we received from Twitter was about if this role, that of Michael Guerin, has led you to acquire any particular skill set (or sets) for it.

MV: Oh wow, that’s interesting. Season one made me pull out my guitar again. Which was actually really cool because I got like not good at guitar, but decent where I could play a few songs. In college, I borrowed someone’s guitar and later got my own and played a bunch. Then for years, I got so focused on trying to make it as an actor, writing and auditions, that I stopped playing it. The show forced me to really go out of my comfort zone and even though it was easy things like songs with four chords or strumming patterns, sometimes depending on shooting schedules and if they got switched around, I’d learn something three hours before going to set. We’d wrap super late sometimes and I’d come home and dig in with my guitar. It’s definitely helped me brush up on that. I haven’t played the guitar on season two, so I’m probably back to where I was. [Laughs]

W: With the violent circumstances making up Michael’s background, he kind of starts out with that “looking out for number one” approach to things and season two we’re seeing Michael’s growth and him realizing when it’s perfectly ok for him to let people in and reprioritize based on that. What has that been like for you in terms of tackling the role? What would you say is the next phase of the growth for him?

MV: I think number one in tackling it was that I had no idea that the character was this complex in the beginning. I knew he was hiding his sexuality and who he really is, which is an alien. I knew that something had happened to him in the foster system growing up and he didn’t have the best upbringing. As the seasons have developed, everything has made a lot of sense. I’m sure Carina (Adly MacKenzie) knew from the moment she got the opportunity to do the new Roswell , so the way that it was written in the beginning, I was never surprised where it led me. And even with not being surprised, it’s been really cool to just see what they’ve given me to jump into. It’s kind of helped me deal with some of my trauma as a kid, and my trauma is not near what Michael Guerin’s was. I definitely had my moments, just as we all do with our families. Not feeling good enough or just hiding certain things about you because you’re afraid of who you are and people wouldn’t understand you. The complexities of the character have really helped me also look into who I am. Because I need to figure out a way into every script, every scene and the character. It helps me strip things away and boil down to “Ok, who was thirteen-year-old, chubby, Michael Vlamis and now I’m this way. What was that growth like?” Figuring out my own personal growth helps me elevate that character, Michael Guerin.

With where we’re going next, I can’t say too much because he already has some changes coming towards the end of the season. It’s very interesting to see everyone’s theories online, some are correct and some are way off.

I saw in last night’s episode they finally revealed the junkyard owner, Walt, was the little boy from the flashbacks and people were speculating that really early on! That was really cool to see people getting validation in their theories because I love seeing those online. When it comes down to it, I want the dude to be happy with one of these lovers. I don’t know who that’s going to be. Everyone always asks who I’d rather be with and I can’t really even say that, even if I had one, because they’re both so different. I think Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) are both good for Michael at different times in his life. I know Tyler is going around telling people that that’s what he wants in season three and I let him run his mouth and hope that his new love interest in the show crashes and burns. [Laughs] I would like him to be in a good relationship, a happy relationship, but at the same time, I’m so excited to do the work on the days where my mother is dying, my brother is in a coma or I’m getting my heart ripped out. I love those scenes so much, as happy as I want and think Guerin deserves to be, I love the drama on the show. So, a little bit of heartbreak won’t hurt me.

W: Right, that makes sense. The question was going to be what would you want to see for Guerin in season three and beyond but you basically answered that! You want him happy. [Laughs]

MV: I’d love to see that. I would like to further expand his journey of putting that spaceship back together. I would love to see where that goes. I don’t even know if The CW has the budget to do that and take us to outer space or something but I think that’d be so cool. To find out about that and their home planet.

W: I mean, The CW has The 100 and DC Comics shows! Space isn’t a new place for The CW.

MV: That’s true! So maybe right now we’re willing it into existence. We’re manifesting it.

W: Actually, bringing up spaceships. Given that we live in the craziest of times and the Pentagon officially released videos of UFOs - Has that been something you’ve talked about with any cast or crew members?

MV: I haven’t talked to any of the cast or crew members about it but I’m pretty sure we’re all feeling the same way about it, we’re all excited for any new information. I’ve been interested in aliens since I found out Tom Delonge from Blink 182 was a major conspiracy theorist and loves everything about UFOs and alien artifacts, that search for if there’s life outside of our own. I always thought that was so cool, going back to fourth grade listening to “Aliens Exist” by Blink 182. I want that to be the case, I want that to be real. I think life would be far more interesting and I’m always trying to believe in the most interesting things because it just furthers the imagination. I haven’t talked about it with them but now that you’ve mentioned it, I’ll shoot off a text.

W: The show hasn’t shied away from increasingly difficult topics like the foster system, immigration, citizen’s rights, abortion, etc. Is there an area you’re hoping the show either continues to explore or adds going forward?

MV: I would’ve answered this question so differently two years ago but now I would say something with the LGBTQ community really responding well to the show has really furthered me as a human being and opened up my mind to what people who are made to feel “outside of the norm” go through. I personally don’t think or feel that they are. I think it’s ridiculous the taboo that society has placed on sexualities over the years. The fact that we give marginalized voices a platform to come forward and see that what they’re going through, other people are going through. That it’s ok, it’s love and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day. It’s so special to me. The more that we can tackle that, it really comes down to my character and Tyler’s character having a great relationship. That might mean that Lily Cowles’ character, Isobel, is still going to Planet 7 and seeing what’s out there. I think it’s cool how we normalize that, it’s not a big deal. I live in LA right now, and people, they experiment, they’re fluid. They’re interested and the more you find out about yourself, the more you know, the more comfortable you are with yourself. I think that’s a really important topic that I want to further.

I think we’ve done a really good job with the idea of what an immigrant is and what an immigrant looks like. I think we tackled the abortion scenes, I would’ve never thought that was something on our show. It’s very hard because the writers find a way to interweave everything in. I haven’t had the time to sit back and think “what else?” because every week has been something new.

W: That’s a great answer, it’s true. The show has covered a lot of topics and it’s doing very well.

MV: The abortion episode was insane, Carina fought for those shots of Lily’s legs bloody and she didn’t want to shy away from the graphicness of the scene. And I think that was important, to be really truthful to that.

W: Incredibly. This season resurrected Rosa (Amber Midthunder) from a pod years later, which is similar in a way to Captain America or Han Solo being unfrozen. With time having gone on, she’s having to adjust and in her own way, catch up to 2020. Let’s say you were able to suggest 1-2 things that someone should undoubtedly know about in 2020, what would it be? Is it a book, movie, show, certain type of food? What’s something you’d for sure put on that “must haves/dos” list of things or experiences?

MV: Oh wow, you’re really making me think about this! I can’t help but think about it as if it was me in that scenario and I would say something that I was really fortunate enough to do ten years ago, which was scuba dive The Great Barrier Reef. I think it’s so sad that it’s deteriorating at such a rapid rate because of pollution. I’m sure some natural causes. A lot of people fighting climate change will say natural causes and I can understand and see both sides to that, but I know that we definitely contribute to that. That was one of the most spectacular things I’ve ever seen. And if someone wasn’t able to see it the way I saw it, I haven’t been down there since so I don’t actually know what it looks or feels like now. But that was one of the first moments in my life where what I was experiencing…the world felt so big. Not in a way it felt just traveling. In a way it felt magical, that something like this can just exist and has existed much longer than we’ve ever been around. I’ve had that with hiking the second largest glacier in the world. All these feelings with nature have really expanded my mind and my horizon of the potential and possibilities. Realizing we’re very small, we’re here for a short amount of time. Let’s cherish it.

Traveling to these places that have just been so affected, I think that’s very important because of what it did to my mindset.

W: I loved that answer, you made it ecofriendly and everything. That was wonderful!

MV: My sister studied environmental science at the University of Illinois, so I gotta keep her mind. But I really do believe that. Maybe that’s something I want to see in the show too! Go into some climate change. I don’t think we’ve touched that really, have we? Each side has arguments.

W: Each episode of Roswell, NM is titled after a famous ‘90s song. What’s your favorite or what would you consider the most iconic ‘90s song or band/musician?

MV: For me, it was Blink 182! In the ‘90s that was me. I’m a big Conor Oberst fan, the lead singer of Bright Eyes. The fact I’m in a scene, now multiple scenes that play that song. They did it in season one and in season two, they play “First Day of My Life,” that has been so surreal to me because music has been so important to me as a kid. I haven’t told many people this. As a kid I’d make short films with my friends, a lot of people know that, but what they don’t know is that I would rip so much music from all these platforms. As a little 11 year old kid, I’d get as much music as I could to have thousands of songs on my iTunes and iPod. Not that I was going to listen to them, but that one day when I was making my own big movies, I’d have this database of music to select from. Back then there wasn’t Spotify and it wasn’t as readily available, and also I was a kid and that was my thinking! Music has such an influence on my life, but Blink 182 specially. All that angst I was feeling at the time as a kid, it’s really in Guerin and me, even though I handle it in different ways in real life. Feeling a little different or not understood, that was that music that would give me a release without being too intense or too Screamo. If a Blink 182 song is ever in a scene that I’m in, I can die a happy man.

W: [Laughs] Amazing. Alongside acting, you’re also a talented writer, director and producer. A screenplay that you co-wrote earned a spot on the Black List which was one of the coolest things I’ve ever read. Congratulations! Are there other projects you’re currently working on or maybe topics you’re considering for future screenplays?

MV: Thank you! Yeah, definitely! The new Nicolas Cage/Tiger King series, the creator of that is actually the showrunner of a TV show my writing partner and I created as well. So, we’re all really stoked about that. Dan Lagana, showrunner of American Vandal is making such a splash with this Nicolas Cage project that it’s helping our TV show get put together too. We’ve got the Black List/Mac Miller script, we have a “Halloween comedy” feature film that’s set up at Seth MacFarlane’s company right now. Hopefully that gets made. We have an “old lady comedy” that’s being read, taking a lot of good meetings on that. We’re writing our next movie right now, we’re probably going to finish the beat sheet. We do a very detailed, intense outline of the movie, scene by scene as if we were actually writing the script. Exterior, interior, every single scene in order, everything we want out of characters in the scene, what we expect to happen, some dialogue that maybe came to mind as we’re banging out the outline. Once we get to writing, we could bang out eight pages in a day. We finish scripts very quickly, so we’re writing a “mob action comedy” right now. So yes, I became a writer out of desperation and found some success with writing. It’s been really good. As a kid making short films, it wasn’t actually in script form.

The last four years I’ve been writing a ton and now it’s starting to pop off a bit. I love it. I produce my own movies too and it looks like we’re about to lock down distribution for the first feature film I produced and starred in called Five Years Apart, it’s got a pretty cool cast in it and I’m really pumped for people to see it, we have a really cool distributor, I’m 99% sure that’ll be our distributor but I don’t want to jinx it. We’ll see if that’s going to be Hulu, Netflix, small theatrical release, I’m not sure yet. As a first time producer I’m learning all that. We’re gearing up on producing our next feature too, we were planning on filming in Wisconsin this summer but things have changed with the conditions of the world.

Acting, producing, writing, directing and releasing another merch line. I’ve been staying busy during the quarantine!

W: Seems so! I saw the line and love the pops of color!

MV: Thank you! It’s been really good, honestly the feedback, I was very surprised with how it’s done. Compared to last year and the multiple drops, this year, we’re nearing a certain point in orders and products that we’ll have to produce within three days of being out. It’s been really cool. Last year we gave 100% of profits to a charity called Random Acts started by Misha Collins of Supernatural. And this year, I unfortunately can’t do 100% again, I made the point but learned the lesson in that we had no money for this next launch. [Laughs] I had to dig into my own pockets, which was fun and it’s all good, it’s a big creative project. This year Carina created this thing called The Little Alien, a Roswell fund for the Roswell crew that’s out of work right now. She’s been raising money through t-shirts and I’m going to donate some of our proceeds to them as well. They’re the heartbeat of the show, they’re the reason we get to be there every day and things go smoothly. We’re trying to take care of them at this time.

W: Amazing, intentions matter so that’s really cool to hear. Lastly, anything you’d like to say to those reading and watching?

MV: To those reading and watching, thank you from the bottom of my heart that you’re tuning in and giving me a platform to do what I love the most. And what I set out to do felt like such a dream that from the age of 12 to 20, I wasn’t acting and making movies. Dreams are just dreams until you realize that they are very plausible, and most dreams, I think, can be achieved given the right circumstances, opportunities and work ethic. Thank you for allowing me follow my dreams and I hope that I’m able to inspire you to follow yours.

~ WatchTivist

#michael vlamis #mgv interviews #rnm spoilers #long post is long

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things2mustdo · 4 years

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Last year I gave up my Krav Maga self-defense training when I was in the middle of changing jobs. I never picked it back up.

While I stay quite busy splitting my time between my three main sources of income, last month I began to feel like something was missing. I was getting too comfortable with my daily routine– bored, too.

So I decided to start training in martial arts again, this time signing up for a Muay Thai gym. It’s already reinvigorated my sense of drive across other areas of my life. Here are the top 5 reasons you should start a new hobby today.

1. It breaks up your current routine

As humans we search for a sense of regularity. We often find it in our daily activities.

For example, my days typically consist of working from home in the morning, primarily on my computer, lifting weights, and then training a few clients in the late afternoon and evening. I enjoy this routine, but flying on autopilot has its dangers.

You aren’t as sharp. Everything is too calculated and expected. By training in Muay Thai every other day I have something new to look forward to. It also has changed my lifting routine, to accommodate for the added exercise and fatigue.

2. It pushes you outside of your comfort zone

When I stepped into the Muay Thai gym for the first time I didn’t know what to expect. It was a lot different than the place I used to train Krav Maga at– more serious, less friendly even.

The seasoned fighters looked at me with a sense of superiority. And they were superior. But rather than backing down, being nervous, and quitting after one day– I took this as a challenge.

I was far from comfortable training that day. I wasn’t able to execute crisp Thai kicks or jump rope like a boss. But being too comfortable can be a bad thing. You’ll cease to explore new opportunities and your growth with falter across the board.

By throwing yourself at something new, that you’re inexperienced at, you’ll be pushed outside of your comfort zone. This is a good thing. You must stay accustomed to living at the edge of your comfort zone to ensure steady growth and progress.

3. You’ll learn new skills

This point is obvious. By taking Muay Thai, I’ll learn a host of new fighting skills.

4. It gives you a new area to set goals for

The habit of setting and achieving goals is the most important habit a man can build. By entering into a new hobby, you now have a whole new area of your life that where you can practice setting and accomplishing goals.

For my Muay Thai experience I’ll start small. My first goal is to be able to execute a Thai kick with my left and have it feel as natural as with my right. I’ll work my way up to bigger goals as I improve.

This is the beauty of starting at something from scratch. At first you’ll set one small goal after another. This cycle will build momentum, and before you know it, you’ll no longer be a novice. More importantly, this momentum will carry over to other areas of your life and give you the confidence to crush more and bigger goals.

5. You’ll meet new people

Another obvious point. When you try something new, you’re bound to meet new people. Whether these turn out to be man friends or cute girls depends on the hobby you choose, but either way meeting new people is always a positive thing.

Potential Hobbies

I’ll leave you with a short list of potential hobbies for you to try today:

1. Martial arts/self-defense: Muay Thai, Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, Krav Maga 2. Cooking 3. Salsa Dancing 4. Lifting weights (you should already be doing this) 5. Yoga 6. Writing 7. Mountain Biking

Check out my new #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.

Read Next: 5 Reasons To Learn Krav Maga

Krav Maga is a self-defense system created based upon the street fighting skills of Hungarian-Israeli martial artist Imi Lichtenfeld. He used it to defend the Jewish quarter where he lived against fascist groups in the 1930s. Later, in the 40s he moved to Israel and began to offer combat training lessons to what later became the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces). The IDF has used, and continued to develop the system to this day.

The basic principle of Krav Maga is inflicting maximum damage to the opponent(s) in order to end the fight as quickly as possible. Brutal counter-attacks using your most effective tool (knees, elbows, weapons, etc.) to target your opponent’s weakest area (neck, throat, eyes, knees, ribs, solar plexus, groin, etc.) are the focus. For this reason, it is not a competitive martial arts, like Brazilian Ju-Jitsu or Muay Thai, because people would die.

When I heard that Jason Bourne uses Krav Maga (which I later found out was, in fact, not true) and that it teach gun defenses (i.e. the most alpha technique ever), I immediately signed up. I just finished 6 months of training. It is indeed awesome. Here are the top 5 reasons you should sign up for classes today:

1. You will become a badass.

Nothing boosts confidence and testosterone levels like knowing you are legitimately prepared for whatever. Very few people have any formal self-defense or fight training. As a result, in tense situations where most people lose it, you will keep your cool. If something ever does go down, you’re ready.

2. It is practical and intuitive.

Most martial arts are strongly based in ritual, and as a result often incorporate different forms or strange techniques. Krav is different. Brutal efficiency is the only concern. For this reason, many of the strikes and defenses utilize the same basic motion (e.g. the straight punch and many of the defenses against punches and knives). Moreover, all of the techniques are built upon the body’s natural instincts (e.g. bringing your hands to your neck during a choke defense).

3. It is great exercise.

Between the drills themselves and the conditioning, you are guaranteed a hell of a workout. Three minutes of throwing punches or knee strikes is exhausting. So is three minutes of burpees. Side note: The level 1 Krav test was the single most intense physical event of my life. Seriously. Three hours straight of punches, kicks, choke defenses, and groundwork is no joke. I consider myself to be is great shape and I almost vomited on multiple occasions.

4. It relieves stress.

Sure, so do most workouts, but pounding a kicking shield, or throwing your partner to the floor is a whole different ball game.

5. It is the perfect hobby.

I came to my first class with no idea how to throw a proper punch. After a couple weeks I thought I was Jason Bourne. After a couple months I realized that I wasn’t. After 6 months I look back and I am amazed at the progress I made. Experiencing this progress is extremely satisfying.

Clearly taking up Krav Maga has many benefits. One word of caution – make sure you train somewhere with certified, experienced instructors. I have seen locations that turn it into a strictly cardio exercise experience, with little focus on technique – not good. So go take advantage of that free first class, now.

Check out my new #1 Amazon Bestseller, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.

Read More: The Only 2 Things A Man Can Depend On

I was born alone and I will die alone. I’ve got to do what’s right for me and not live my life the way anybody else wants it.

– Curtis Jackson

If life were a board game, you’d be the game piece.

In reality, life isn’t much different from a game. There isn’t a defined end goal, however. You get to choose it. It could be power and respect. It could simply be happiness. Or it could be more specific: money or women, for example. Whatever it is, you choose.

In a board game there are strict limitations. In life, we’re encouraged to follow laws and social norms, but for the most part we’re free to do as we choose. There are infinite paths that will take you to any goal imaginable.

Along the way you’ll deal with many people. Some will help you, others won’t. You can grow to depend on the ones that help you, but that always incurs a risk. A family member can die. A close friend can betray you. Your girl can leave you. How will you react when one of these things happens?

Playing with others is a necessary part of the game. But never depend on them. Doing so will ultimately lead to failure and disappointment.

Accept that the only two things you can ever count on are your body and your mind– your game piece. You must tend to these things like a gardener tends to his plants. Focus on improving them and facilitating their health and growth and you’ll always put yourself in the best position to win.

If some tragedy befalls a dependent man, he may sink into depression. He might feel like he’s lost all hope of accomplishing his mission in life. He might give up.

A truly independant man, however, will not. He’s prepared, on some level, for each of these tragedies. He doesn’t have a specific game plan for when his best friend betrays him, per se. But he’s put himself in a good position, both physically and mentally, that he can weather the storm. Not only can he weather the storm, but he can keep his cool and make the fine adjustments needed to get the ship back on course.

Below I’ll offer the basic tasks one must do to protect his game piece, and see it thrive.

1. Your Body

If you take care of your body, it will be strong and healthy. It will also help foster a potent mind. Yes, there’s always the rare risk of contracting some form of cancer or another deadly disease, but if you follow the steps below, you all but rule these things out.

1. Eat good food

I won’t go into specifics, because everyone’s diet will, and should, be different.

But if you focus your diet around meat, fruits, and vegetables your body will flourish. Meat provides the protein and amino acids your body needs to grow. The fruits and vegetables provide the fiber and vitamins you need to function over the long run. A man with a solid diet will respond better to stress, and therefore be more self reliant.

2. Lift weights

In short, lifting weights develops a strong nervous, muscular, and skeletal system. These are the three main systems that run your body. An efficient body is like a strong ship– it will weather the storm better and be far more dependable in your journey.

The most brutally simple and effective lifting program is StrongLifts 5×5. It focuses on building strength across the five most basic movements humans are meant to do (squat, deadlift, bench press, row, and overhead press).

2. Your Mind

You must also foster a capable mind. One that can stand on it’s own two feet. The strongest body won’t accomplish anything without an equally impressive mind.

1. Read books

Reading a book is like absorbing another man’s lifelong wisdom. The more books you read, the more you’ll know and the wiser you’ll be. Blogs are okay, but the average quality of a blog post is decidedly lower than what you find in a book. People simply put more time, effort, and value into books.

The knowledge you acquire in books also contributes to your self reliance. It offers quality wisdom and advice– that can’t be taken away from you.

2. Meditate

Meditation is the act of being comfortable being alone. When you meditate, you remove all of the outside noise. All of the thoughts, gossip, music, news, women, men, business, sex– everything. You are left with only yourself.

Many men can’t stand meditation because they’ve grown dependant on all of this external stimulation. They aren’t comfortable in their own skin. And thus they’ve lost their edge, their self reliance.

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hilarieburtonmorgan · 4 years

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MORNINGS WITH HILARIE BURTON MORGAN AT MISCHIEF FARM

In the series ‘Mornings With’, we begin a new day with inspiring talent in film, television and media, in an equally inspiring place in New York. ROSE & IVY founding editor, Alison Engstrom sits down and chats about morning routines, exciting projects and what inspires them and drives them to be their very best. Given the current climate, we had to switch gears slightly, but we are beyond delighted to meet Hilarie Burton Morgan at her farm in Upstate New York.

In this day and age, curling up with a good book that transports, uplifts and makes you want to be a better human is vital. In our newest edition of Mornings With, I am incredibly excited to chat with Hilarie Burton Morgan about her debut book, The Rural Diaries: Love, Livestock, and Big Life Lessons Down on Mischief Farm. In this heartfelt and honest work, which is part memoir and part DIY with other life antidotes—hot pepper flakes to keep squirrels out of the garden (genius!), the Burton pickle recipe and how to make dandelion wine—she wants to inspire readers to take a risk. She speaks eloquently about what she had to endure in her early days as an actress, her search for meaning, building a life on a farm, relationship obstacles, grief, fertility struggles, losing herself and then ultimately finding herself. I also talked to her about her morning routines, how she lives her life with intention and the importance of creating a community.

Would you say are you a morning person?

I have always been the kind of person who wakes up in the morning in a good mood. I like potential and mornings are full of potential—I have been that way since I was little. I am absolutely a morning person, however, I don’t get dressed until the afternoon because I cherish the morning. I can get a lot of things done in a bathrobe, so I make my mornings last as long as possible

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?

I have to get my kids going so the first thing I do is I get my son up and make him breakfast, then pack his lunch and then I’ll go and get my daughter up and get her dressed. Then we do school drop off. I am most productive in my morning hours; it’s when I am making my lists and doing the things that require higher brain function, like answering emails, because then I can go into manual labor mode at the end of the day, hunker down and get my work done.

I know that coffee is important to you because you have a section about it in the book—a girl after my own heart! How do you prepare it?

I go through a yearly cycle where halfway through the summer, my sweet tooth kicks in and it’s when I use a lot of creamer, I like putting hazelnut creamer into my coffee that is my guilty pleasure. I also love a good gas station coffee, where it’s like the French vanilla latte— it’s just sugar with some brown food coloring. Then the other six months, I drink it black and as temperatures are starting to warm up, I don’t want all of the dairy and I just like it thin, angry and very, very strong. At Samuel’s Sweet Shop we serve Partner’s Coffee and we also have a deal with Brooklyn Roasting Company—they created a coffee for us that we are going to be selling on the Mischief Farm website.

“I have always been the kind of person who wakes up in the morning in a good mood. I like potential and mornings are full of potential.”

Do you have a motivating morning mantra or meditation practice that helps to frame your day?

I don’t have a meditation practice; making lists I think is very important for me, it’s something that I have always done. My dad has this phrase that he has had forever, which I talk about in the book. It is: the want to, creates the how-to. If you want something bad enough, you will creatively think of every way you can get it and how to do it. If you aren’t able to figure out how to do it, and you are like meh, maybe you didn’t really want it in the first place. So going into each day thinking about what I want to do and how am I going to get it is one mantra. And another mantra is, I used to do a lot of student government growing up and one convention had this huge banner with a motto that said: if not you, then who? It’s one of those universal truths that everyone should probably say, I mean, if you don’t jump on it, who else is going to do it? That’s a call to arms.

Before we talk about your book, how are you and your family doing during this time? Per your Instagram, you have been busy at work sewing masks for frontline workers.

I don’t feel great—I feel like there's much more that we can be doing. The problem I think specifically with being a mom right now is that we are working, we are mothering, we are housekeeping and trying to do all of these things while trying to be an active member of our community; we aren’t succeeding necessarily at any of them. We are getting by with a lot of these things, but we have to be okay with just getting by right now. There are no wins right now or we have to reevaluate what wins are right now, we have to be very gentle with ourselves and not be judgy. I got mad at myself this morning because I hadn't made masks in four days and I felt like I was letting people down. It’s hard because it’s all I want to focus on—I could churn out like 200 if I could just sit down alone and do it but I have people sending me messages about how to do it or asking me to connect makers with facilities that need things and so a lot of that coordination eats up a lot of time and at the end of the day, I look at my pile of masks and it's not as big as I want it to be. Because it is all unknown, there is no clear directive on what our next best thing is. Right now my daughter is obsessed with Frozen II and it’s been on repeat in our house. There is a song in it The Next Right Thing and I feel like Disney purposefully did this to me (laughs) because it is in my head right now. Do the next right thing, maybe it’s the dishes, the laundry, or making a mask.

Congratulations on your first book The Rural Diaries! It’s wonderful—you speak so eloquently about love, loss, growth, grief, happiness, ups and downs in a relationship, losing yourself and finding yourself, with so many other real and raw emotions that are very relatable. What was the process like and did you always want the book to be so honest?

I honestly set out to write a book about the farm and to encourage people to take risks. As I sat down to write it, I was pregnant with my daughter, I started it two months before she was born and then wrote it until last May. It took me a long time, especially the editing process of making sure that everything made sense and was accurate. I was very precious with it. That said, I didn't set out to write something that was so oversharing but I think that in order to encourage people to take big risks, I needed to admit the things that I had done wrong and to admit my vulnerabilities, my insecurities, because I am a deeply insecure person, and that’s not a bad thing, it just means that I care. So I felt like a fraud writing oh, this is my farm and aren’t my flowers pretty, kind of book. So much effort went into cultivating this lifestyle and it felt cheap not to acknowledge it.

“ I don’t want to be a person who mindlessly does things. I don’t want to coast because I think it’s a disservice to people who I have lost. If I am not taking advantage of every single day, it’s an affront to the loss. ”

As I was reading it, you could feel your blood, sweat and tears and all of the work that went into making a home and also your DIY spirit. I love that the bigger picture, as you said is to take a risk. If you stay in your comfort zone your whole life you will look back in 20 years and be disappointed that you didn’t even try. Would you say that it was the biggest leaf of faith you’ve taken?

I would say it was the biggest gamble because I am not near my old support network, there was no family or friends here. It was me and my son in a cabin. Jeffrey (Dean Morgan, Hilarie’s husband) was coming back and forth from work and we were trying to figure out how we were going to create a life up here. You put your energy into your priorities right and a lot of people make work their priority. What we are discovering in this current situation is that maybe what’s going on in your home could be a bigger priority. Let’s make healthy circles, work might be an outer circle and home is an inner circle. Now we have this amazing support network because we made connecting with the people in our town a priority. It’s paying off specifically right now because we are so interconnected and we can take care of each other in a lot of different ways.

What I loved so much about the book is that it feels like your heart, mind and soul lined up when you found where you belonged in Rhinebeck, New York. It was like a moment of grace.

I remember being a little girl and we weren’t allowed to go to other people's houses or have friends over. I was one of a lot of kids—I have three younger brothers—and it was like, play with each other! I’d hide out in my room all day and just daydream. I was a huge daydreamer and a big reader; in my mind, I had this idea of what my adulthood would be. It involved caftans, a lot of beads, books, crazy hair and this pastoral lifestyle. There was this character in the movie Tammy and the Bachelor—it’s this Debbie Reynolds movie and there was this old spinster aunt who was super eccentric and wanted to paint cats and I was like that sounds great. So living a lifestyle that was a little bit outside the norm was always something that was appealing. And when I came to Rhinebeck it was like walking into the backlot of a Hollywood movie studio, it was beautiful. Everyone knew each other and it felt like a club that you wanted to join, like when you get into high school and you say, I want to be a part of that club. I wanted to be a part of it, so I made it a priority to get to know people and offer up help. When there is a charity event, it's like, what can I do? It feels nice to have the family that you choose for yourself.

What was it about the acting world that lured you in? Would you say you were a natural performer?

I had been doing theater since I was eight. I asked to be put in classes when I was four or five—I was very articulate about wanting to be a performer as a child. My parents, God bless them, gave me every opportunity they could afford. I did all of the local and regional theater in Virginia. They would get off work and spend all night taking me to rehearsals. They would drive me up to New York once a month so I could audition. We would rent a car, it was a big deal. I did a lot of professional theater as a kid so that was always there. My decision to go to college in New York was solely based on wanting to be where the opportunities existed. I just applied to every school in Manhattan and went to the one that gave me the most money. I love the city because there is so much kismet in it, when Manhattan feels like a small town, it’s magical. I’ll run into people from like 20 years ago who I worked with at MTV.

“I honestly set out to write a book about the farm to encourage people to take risks.”

In the book, you talk about how you were very disappointed when you left One Tree Hill. later in the book, you revealed what you had to endure on set.

I was so disappointed that I got everything that I wanted and it was just so toxic, there really isn’t any other way to describe it. I am very good friends with the cast of that show and I am very good friends with so many crew members of that show but there was an overarching toxic thing. When it’s your first job, you assume that every other job will just be more of that, I was exhausted by that and really second guessed my life. It wasn’t until I got my next big job on White Collar, where I saw what it was supposed to be. I saw what leadership was supposed to look like, how people were supposed to be treated and how your boss can be an ally, as opposed to someone terrorizing you the whole entire time. I remember joking and telling a group of the writers some horror stories of One Tree Hill and laughing about it, saying, oh my gosh and you wouldn’t believe it and I remember them stopping me as a young women, I was 27, and saying, it’s not supposed to be like that and we are so so sorry that happened to you. I was so embarrassed that someone had to take me by the shoulders and tell me that. It set the bar very high for future jobs. When you get the right baseline, it’s all very manageable and fun. I love doing what I do but there was a period of time where I was so scared that what I had imagined this industry was didn't exist.

It definitely made me prioritize my personal life over my professional life. Because in my professional life, specifically on that job, I was told, you are so wonderful! You are the best! You are the best actress, the prettiest, the most talented. I was the one going out and doing all of the press, doing all of the interviews and engaging with all of the sponsors—I played the game hard for that show, because I thought that they loved me but when I raised my hand and said that there was some really bad stuff going on here, it was all of a sudden you are disposable, you don’t matter to us, we can replace you. So I knew that I had to create something real in my life so that that work thing couldn’t touch the core anymore. It derailed me, it was like a really bad divorce.

While renovating your home you said, “Even with all the blood, sweat and tears. I felt like I was coming back to the truest version of myself.” It’s a great metaphor of how you were also rebuilding how you felt inside.

I think that manual labor is very important for self-esteem—being an actress you are treated like you are a little idiot. If you have input of what your lines should be or how you want to wear your hair, your costume or what props you want, in good work environments there is collaboration, in toxic work environments there is eye-rolling, it's like oh, you little idiot, stay in your lane—-just hit your mark, say your lines and go home. So doing tangible work, where I could be in total control and that I controlled the end product was so good for my self-esteem and my self-worth. To this day, I still revert back to that. I just ordered five gallons of paint that got delivered yesterday because I feel so out of control in the midst of this pandemic and what I can control is the color of my living room walls. So when my children go to bed at night, I will be painting my living room.

“It’s very important that our children witnessed us dividing and conquering and playing to each other’s strengths and championing each other’s strengths.”

You talked about how your friend Scott’s death affected you and that you wanted to “Wake up intentionally. Work intentionally. Eat intentionally. And rest intentionally.” I love that. What does intention mean to you today?

I lifted that whole passage from a journal that I kept right when Scott died. When I set down to write the book, I pulled out my journals from the last 20 years and put them all out and that specific section, I wrote the week after he died. I still want to live by those words. I don’t want to be a person who mindlessly does things. I don't want to coast because I think it’s a disservice to people who I have lost. If I am not taking advantage of every single day, it’s an affront to the loss; it’s being hyperaware. I can’t live up to that every day, no one can, but if we can manage that like three to four days out of the week, that’s good.

You talk about the moment that you pivoted, after you experienced your first miscarriage, you said, “My grief was making me someone I hated.” You channeled that loss into helping others by volunteering at the Astor Services for Children and Families in Rhinebeck. I love how you said, “In working for others, we found ourselves again.”

I feel safe saying that I am a self-loathing person that stems back to some elementary school drama. Everyone carries some degree of that and everyone deals with it. When I have time to sit there and think about myself and woe is me, I can spiral just as much as the next guy, but when I am feeling that time and putting my energy to where people need it and who are desperately seeking help, affirmation or guidance or physical manual labor. It’s not that I feel better about myself but I feel a purpose out of my own self-loathing. I feel like that becomes a tool instead of a liability. You have to use the tools that you have. My self-loathing allows me to rally the troops in town, or put on a show or paint some walls.

So many women are going to relate to your journey to conceive. My heart was breaking for you as you lost your first and then second baby. Was it hard to reflect back on that part of the journey for the book or was it therapeutic?

I needed to write the book that I needed to read when it happened. The narrative with miscarriage is that women are just getting to be open to talking about it, men haven’t reached that yet. James Van Der Beek is one of the only men, who I know, who has spoken on the subject. There was no way for me to know what was going on with my husband and how he felt about my infertility or our losses because the language wasn’t there. Men aren’t allowed to mourn that way, they are expected to be strong and just help me get through it—it’s their job to make sure that I am okay. A girlfriend gave me a book called Vessels: A Love Story by Daniel Raeburn that was written from the male perspective, without Jeffrey even having to come out of his shell, or his garage where he had been hiding out, all of a sudden, I had this guide book for what he was dealing with and it very much softened my perspective. What I wanted to put into the world was for the couple who perhaps was having trouble and that celebrity narrative of oh, this brought us closer together is making them feel like a failure, the same way that it was making me feel like a failure. I wanted them to know that it is perfectly alright for you and your partner to have two different sets of needs in the midst of trauma and it doesn’t mean that you are doomed or aren't destined for each other, it just means that maybe you have to walk two separate paths for a minute. But that doesn't mean you aren’t going to meet back up. I needed people to know that was okay. There wasn’t a lot of information telling me that it was okay.

I love discussing the subject of fear with people because it can often play such a big player in someone’s life. In the book you wrote, “There is an absolute moment of freedom when you realize that the things that used to scare you have no power over you anymore.” I underlined that about three times. Is there anything that makes you feel fear today that you are working to rise above?

I have to set new goals for myself—I have said out loud I want to direct. I think it’s important to grow female talent in whatever industry. There is this expectation that you become an actress when you are 20 and you just stay an actress for forever, whereas for men, there are a lot of opportunities for them to direct, produce. create and all of that. I would like to grow in that aspect, I mean I am nervous about it because I don’t know if I’ll be any good. I feel like I have been in the business for a long time and I think I am very comfortable in this current stage because I got what I said I wanted, I got my baby and the farm is becoming a well-oiled machine, so then it becomes what types of stories do I want to tell. I want to write another book, so I am thinking about what’s the next book going to be. The fiction book is always there and I have so many short stories, but because you bring it up, the thing I am most scared of is putting fiction out there because it’s something that I have written my whole life for me and the idea of having it scrutinized is terrifying.

“...it is perfectly alright for you and your partner to have two different sets of needs in the midst of trauma and it doesn’t mean that you are doomed or aren’t destined for each other, it just means that maybe you have to walk two separate paths for a minute. ”

What was the process like of creating the book?

I spoke with a bunch of different publishers and I cannot praise Harper One enough. The second they got my book and my sample chapters, they were like, this is a feminist book. It was a boardroom full of women and they let me pick everything. They let me art direct it and pick every little piece of it because they wanted me to love it—what an amazing partnership. I didn't anticipate that I would be given that freedom. I cannot wait to write another book for them.

In addition to everything that you do, you also help run Samuel’s Sweet Shop, a joint endeavor in Rhinebeck. What’s been one of the biggest lessons you have learned about running a business?

I was very very lucky in that our business partners Andy Ostroy and his girlfriend Phoebe Jonas and then Julie Rudd and her husband Paul have all brought such different skill sets to the endeavor. Andy has had a marketing company in Manhattan for years so he understands business in a way that I don't necessarily do. Julie was a PR executive and knew what we needed to do to create the brand and I was the one who really wanted to do the manual labor part of it. I wanted to be in the shop and touch everything and make it pretty and aesthetically pleasing. It’s very important that our children witnessed us dividing and conquering and playing to each other’s strengths and championing each other’s strengths. I don’t have any illusions that I am good at everything but I have friends who fill in my gaps.

You are currently co-hosting and producing Night In With the Morgans on AMC and have a recurring role on NBC’s new show, “Council of Dads.” What factors have to come into play before you sign onto a new project?

That’s my kismet job. I had a public falling with a former employer because they weren’t as interested in telling as diverse of stories as I did. I just stopped working with them and it was a paycheck I wasn’t getting. I put out into the world that I wanted to tell more diverse stories and then a girlfriend of mine, Tara who I share the same birthday with and who I reference in the book, we were talking about what we wanted to do for our collective birthday that year and I said I wanted to go to Savannah because I had never been. Three days later, I got a phone call and they said, Hilarie, you got to get on a plane, there is this job waiting for you in Savannah, which was Council of Dads. This show is a beautiful showcase of what family, love and connectivity can be. Even though we shot it pre-pandemic, I cannot think of a better project to put out into the world right now. It feels really weird to be promoting anything right now, knowing how much hurt and anxiety people are feeling, but I feel very comfortable in pointing people in the direction of that show because I feel like it’s a big warm hug.

#hilarie burton #interview #2020

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forever-rogue · 5 years

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The Edge of Thirty - Part 5

Summary: Everyone seems to be getting married, having babies, or “growing up.” Except Y/N. Suddenly at almost thirty, reality seems to be crashing down on her – and hard. Nothing seemed as daunting as turning thirty…until she met Gwilym Lee anyway.

A/N: Hiya guys! Thanks for much all the support on this series, I really appreciate it and every single of you guys! I hope you enjoy! xx

Pairing: Gwilym Lee x Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: some more foreshadowing (oof), very light smut

MASTERLIST

"And that my little love bugs is why recycling -" Y/N stopped mid-sentence as a knock came at her door. She turned to look at her students, giving them a wide eyed grin, before putting a finger to her lips, and heading to the door. She had a feeling she knew exactly who it was. She calmed herself for a moment, smoothing her dress before opening the door and coming face to face with a stout, mustached man who immediately gave her the once over.

"Miss L/N?" so much for a good morning or any sort of proper greeting. Trying to hide her discontent, Y/N plastered on a big smile while she bobbed her head up and down in confirmation. The man gave her a disdainful look that spoke volumes: he was already predisposed to not liking her. Clearing his throat he mustered out, "my name is Victor Redson, I'm here to sit in on your class. I believe Headmaster Crickle informed you that I was coming?"

"Of course, please do come in Mr. Redson," she would have loved nothing more than to smack him across the face, but stayed her hand. Otherwise she'd probably never find another job anywhere in England. Instead, she pulled the door wide open and allowed him in, "class, this is Mr. Redson, he's going to be joining us today. What do we say to visitors?"

"Good morning, Mr. Redson," they chorused at the man, curious looks on their little faces, as he clambered in and took a seat in the back of the room. A few of them giggled eagerly, trying to get a better look at their intruder, but Y/N tried to avoid his piercing gaze. All she had to do was keep herself calm and composed and she would be fine. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, she reminded herself. She was a good teacher after all, she just needed him to realize that.

"Miss L/N," he took out a notepad and pen and leaned back in the chair. He had an air about him that she didn't quite like. A sort of superior air that suggested he clearly thought he was superior to her. There was something about him that she couldn't quite place. She didn't like him already, that much she knew, "please carry on and conduct your class as your normally would. Pretend I'm not here."

"Of course," she gave him a smile, before turning to sit on the edge of her desk. Part of her felt like she should change her ways for the day, basically embody the picture of perfection, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd never allow herself to change for anyone, including an old man bent on bring her down. It was going to her way or no way.

She reached for the book and she had started reading with them and beckoned for them to do the same. The sound of all her little students pulling out their own copies was like music to her ears, "now. Turn to where we left off...I believe page three hundred ninety four."

Surprisingly, the day went by without a hitch. It was as if something in the universe had gone right and the fates were in her favor. Her students must have sensed that she was nervous, or something odd was up because they behaved much better than they ever had before. Not that they were a particularly rowdy bunch in the first place, but they were just extra sweet today. Especially her little group of favourites - Jenny, Brian, and Johnnie.

By the time the end of the day rolled around, she was sure she was safe and even Crickle would be impressed. It seemed like it was easier to breathe suddenly, like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. For once, things finally seemed to be going right - she and Ben had made up, she felt confident at work, and she had that blissful newness that was Gwil.

It had only been a few weeks since they had first met, but those few weeks had been, to put it simply, amazing. Gwil had turned out to be the epitome of the perfect man and she often wondered if he was actually real and not just a figment of her imagination.

Packing up her things for the day, Jenny was going on about how excited she was that her Uncle Gwil was picking her up again. He'd, very sneakily, made it a point to start picking her up whenever his schedule had allowed, claiming it was all to spend to time with his favorite niece and to help his brother out.

A very doting uncle indeed she had told him, but she knew he enjoyed the added benefits of getting to her almost everyday. If he was feeling really confident, he’d even sneak her a few flowers, which she kept displayed in a vase on her desk.

"Hey Jenny," he said as he leaned in the doorway, beaming down at the little girl who immediately ran over to hug him. He picked her up and gave her a big kiss, as she giggled in his arms, “did you have a good day? Where you good for Y/N - I mean Miss L/N?”

“Yes, Uncle Gwil,” she promised him, “we had a visitor today so were all on our best behavior!”

“Good girl,” he smiled as he set her back down. Y/N looked at him with a smirk as she mouth nice save at him. Needless to say, they hadn’t told Jenny they had been seeing each other. Not that they were trying to hide it necessarily, but they didn’t need her telling everyone and having a certain someone find out. That was more drama that was not needed, “Jenny, why don’t you say goodbye to your friends, and I’ll come get you in a few minutes.”

“Okay, Uncle Gwil,” she grabbed her backpack and lunchbox before running out of the room to meet her friends on the playground. She paused when she got to the door, stopping to wave at Y/N, “bye Miss L/N, have a great day!”

“Bye, love bug!” she waved at her as Gwil walked over to her, making sure Jenny was out of sight before leaning down and kissing Y/N gently. She smiled into the kiss, reaching up and putting her hands on his shoulders, “hello to you too tree boy, someone’s eager for a kiss this afternoon.”

“Missed you,” he said as he snuck in a quick peck before leaning against the desk next to her. She let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and snort, as she often did when she was completely comfortable around someone. It had quickly become one of his favourite sounds.

“Gwil, you saw me last night,” she joked as she nudged him gently in the ribs, “and this morning when I left your place for work. It’s been like...maybe ten hours.”

“I don’t care,” he insisted, as she moved in front of him, stepping into the space between his legs as he wrapped his long arms around her, “still missed you, love.”

“You’re too much of a romantic to be real,” she whispered as she nuzzled her face into his chest, the now familiar smell invading her senses. He always smelled so good - clean and fresh, mixed with his natural musk, “are you just gonna hug me, or are you gonna kiss me properly? We’ve only got a few minutes before Jenny will get suspicious.”

“I guess I’ll kiss you properly, just to give you a little something to remember me by,” he put his hands on the sides of her face, running his thumb along her cheekbone. She smiled at him as she studied his brilliant cerulean eyes, as he gently pressed his lips onto hers, the kiss soft but meaningful.

She didn’t know if it had been thirty seconds or thirty minutes since Gwil had started kissing her, but they were suddenly interrupted by a loud knock on her door frame, followed by a throat clear. Y/N almost jumped back from Gwil, cursing herself for not remembering to close and lock her door. Turning to face the intruder, her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw Redson, flanked by Crickle standing there, staring at the two of them.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Miss L/N,” Crickle commented dryly, looking back and forth between the two of them. She could feel that her cheeks were red hot, but did her best to remain composed, “I can come back another time?”

“No, sir, of course. He was just umm, leaving,” Y/N hastily pushed him towards the door, refusing to make eye contact or prolonging the awkward interaction any longer. This was bad, this was real bad.

“Mr. Lee, was it? You’re Jenny’s uncle, aren’t?” of course Crickle wouldn’t just let him get away. Of course he knew exactly who he was. Just as quickly as the fates had decided to be kind to her, it all got ripped out from under her feet. Gwil stopped in his tracks, giving him a tight lipped smile and wondered whether he should lie or not. Instead he gave him a slight nod.

“Indeed,” he said shortly, trying his best to shimmy out the door, “if you’ll excuse me, I need to get going, have my own class to teach soon.”

“Good day, Mr. Lee,” he raised an eyebrow at him, refused to say anything else, zoning back in on Y/N. She bit the inside of her cheek so hard she could taste the metallic flavor of blood, “Ms. L/N, I was on my way to give you a bit of a congratulations. It appears Mr. Redson here was quite impressed by how you handled your class.”

“Thank you, sir, it means a lot-”

“But I wasn’t aware you were in a relationship with an immediate family member of one of your students,” he peered down his glasses at her, and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Her worst fears seemed to be coming true.

“I’m not,” she lied hoping to be at least somewhat convincing. The look he gave her suggested that he in no way believed her. She had to be quick on her toes and stay one step ahead of him, otherwise it could all come crashing down around her.

“Oh, was that not what we happened upon-”

“No, it was nothing. A few moments of indiscretion, I assure you, Headmaster,” lying through gritted teeth, she realized how much she hated those words. But right now, she wasn’t about to lose her job over a quick make out session gone wrong because neither of them had thought to shut the door, “I apologize for the...scene I seem to have caused, but I assure you it’ll never happen again. I take my job more seriously than to put it in jeopardy over a mistake. It was a temporary loss of reason, please forgive me.”

Gwil stood in the hallway, listening to their exchange with baited breath. He wasn’t sure what he had expected her to say, but the words still stung a little bit. Hearing her deny their relationship made it feel sneaky and inappropriate, when it reality it was neither -they weren’t some sort of love-struck teenagers running around behind their parents’ backs after all. He also knew that she was under strict scrutiny at the moment, but her snappy response and calling it a mistake still felt him feeling uneasy.

Sighing to himself, he stepped away to round up Jenny and drop her off at home before going to teach his late afternoon class. It was his last class of the week, and Friday had come at last at the end of another long week and right now he wanted nothing more than a good drink and a quiet night in.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Crickle furrowed his brows at her, as Y/N gave him a thankful nod, “I’ll go over your assessment in more depth in the following week, and then we can discuss it one on one. Keep your afternoons clear next week, Miss L/N.”

“Yes, Headmaster,” trying her best to maintain a smile as the two men left, she quickly closed the door behind them and locked it. Letting a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, she yanked her phone out of her desk drawer and typed out a message to Gwil.

Sorry about all that. Guess we need to be more careful from now on!

It was an agonizing few minutes as she anticipated his response. When it finally came it was short, and rather out of character for him.

No worries. See you tomorrow.

Frowning at her phone, namely his response, she decided not to text him back just yet, and put her phone in her bag, getting ready to head home for the day. At least she had dinner with Ben, Becca, and Lucy to look forward. It had been a long week, and she was more excited than anything to see her friends again. It would be just the four of them, no significant others included. Just like the olden days.

“Can you believe it’s only ten more days until your wedding?!” Becca asked excitedly, gripping onto Lucy’s arm. The look on Lucy’s face suggested she was anything but excited, nervous more like, a worried expression in her soft eyes. In all honesty, Y/N had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts and life lately that she had almost forgotten about the wedding. She made a mental note to triple check to confirm that it was on her calendar. She wouldn’t survive the day if she missed her best friend’s wedding, and she was not willing to take chances.

“Is it too late to get cold feet?” she laughed, glancing anxiously at her best friends. Ben and Y/N exchanged amused looks with their eyebrows raised before shaking their heads at her. She groaned lightly and reached for her wine glass, downing the rest of it in one big gulp.

“Jesus, Luce, slow down or we’re going to have to carry you home!” Y/N knew Lucy was a lightweight and it didn’t take much to get her drunk, and although she was a hysterical drunk, now probably wasn’t the time, “I doubt Rami wants to babysit tonight, isn’t he out with Joe and Tessa?”

“I’m just so...I don’t even know how to describe the feeling,” she stated, flailing her arms in the air in search of the right words to use, “I love Rami, so much, truly, but the whole planning and actually getting married is scarier than I thought! But it’ll be worth it though, I know it. Y/N...did you feel similar when you and James-”

“Yes,” she cut her off quickly, averting her eyes to the floor. The question had caught her so off guard and left her feeling sad and vulnerable, her eyes almost immediately stinging with tears. She knew Lucy hadn’t meant any harm by her simple question, but it had become a bit of an unspoken rule to not discuss such matters. The subject of James was supposed to remain off limits. Ben reached over and squeezed her leg reassuringly, and she just rested her hand on top of his.

“Y/N,” he interjected before Lucy could continue on, Becca looking away awkwardly as she remained oblivious, “is your new boyfriend, who you’ve kept hidden from us, going to be your plus one to the wedding?”

“Umm,” Y/N almost choked on the bite she was halfway through chewing as all eyes were suddenly on her. The idea hadn’t even crossed her mind - she had been so wrapped up in Gwil that she forgot about everything else. It was all so fresh and new that introducing him to everyone was at the back of her mind. She blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “he’s not my boyfriend.”

“He’s not your boyfriend? We’ve seen to be quite taken with this Gwilym for someone who’s not your boyfriend,” Ben raised an eyebrow suspiciously at her and she just shrugged, “you’ve spent a lot of time with him.”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged wishing everyone would just go back to eating and focusing their attention their meals instead of grilling her, “it’s been fun, but I’m not going to call it anything it isn’t.”

“Does he know you feel this way?” Becca asked gently, trying not to push Y/N too far, knowing that her dating life was sometimes a volatile conversation. Looking over at her briefly, she opened and closed her a mouth a few times, trying to find the right words, “I’m not trying to be mean, love, and don’t take it that way. I just want to make sure you’re the on the same page. It seems like he’s pretty smitten with you.”

“We’re both adults, I’m sure he knows I feel. It’s not like we made some sort of promise to be exclusive or anything, besides we’re allowed to have a little fun,” she was quick to play off her friends’ concerns, knowing she sounded like she always had. It was just fun - nothing serious, just like every fling past James.

“Babe, you...just make sure he knows how you really feel,” Ben said quietly, and she just nodded at him, “because if he cares about you how much you seem to care about him, then he wants to be serious with you.”

“Look, I appreciate all your concern guys, I really do, but I’m sure he knows what we are. We aren’t official or anything, and I’m sure he knows that. We started off as a one night stand, did either of us expect it to really work out?” Y/N mused out loud, more for herself than the others.

She really, really did like Gwil. There was no doubt about it that he made her heart go pitter-patter and she was also so whipped for him - but where did that leave them? Were they actually going to do this and be serious with one another? She tried to picture herself waking up everyday next to Gwil; it was an easy answer - yes. But in her heart of hearts she knew she was scared, terrified even, of anything more serious than the occasional fling. The idea of more heartbreak and possibly going through another major loss was almost too much to bear, and it seemed safer to keep people at a distance. Walls up meant you were safe, walls down left you defenseless and vulnerable.

But what about Gwil? Where did that leave him. She cared him about, more than just in a he’s hot and amazing in bed sort of way.

“It’s okay to let people in, Y/N,” Lucy said gently, reaching across the table and giving her hand a gentle pat, “besides, it seems to have been going well. Don’t push him away just because it’s a little scary.”

“I won’t mess this one up, you guys,” she played them off with a light smile and a chuckle that sounded just a little too forced, “if something’s meant to be with Gwil and myself will happen. I swear it.”

“Soooo, he’ll be your plus one?” Becca teased, nudging her foot gently with her own, bringing a real smile to her face. Not matter how much they argued or disagreed on things, her friends always had her back. It didn’t always feel like it, but she knew it was true. Almost twenty years of friendship wasn’t something that just went down on the drain.

“You lot are the worst, just so you all know,” Y/N grabbed her wine glass and raised it in a mock salute, “but yes, I’ll ask him if he’ll be my date and then you can all meet him and have him heading for the hills!”

“We would never,” Becca swore, “we love a tall, sexy English literature professor. We could always use some more eye candy - no offense to you or the guys, Benny.”

“None taken,” he jokingly pouted, causing them all to laugh, “we’ll just have to see exactly how good looking he is.”

“Really, guys?” Y/N sighed lightly, shaking her head with an amused grin on her face, “the absolute worst!”

Trying to catch her breath as she leaned down to press a kiss to Gwil’s lips, she noticed he seemed slightly off. Normally he’d touch her face, whispering all sorts of sweet nothings in her ear, showering her in kisses. Not tonight though, he remained stagnant, no visible signs of emotion on his face. Y/N let out a tiny sigh, sliding off of him and heading to bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean herself off. Normally Gwil would take that duty, making sure she was properly looked after they both reached their highs.

“Gwil?” she asked quietly, sliding back into her bed and lying next to him, keeping a small distance between their warm bodies. He made a noncommittal sound, but didn’t roll over to look at her, staring at the ceiling instead, “what’s wrong, bub? Are you even here with me?”

“I’m here,” he responded after a few tense moments of silence. A small sense of relief flooded her veins as she rolled over to study his profile. Even in the pale moonlight, he was more handsome than anyone should have been allowed to be. His eyes were wide open, and unflinching, his chest rising and falling slowly. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head as a million thoughts seemed to race through his mind.

“Then why won’t you look at me?” she asked, resting her head on the pillow and reaching over, tracing aimless shapes over his bare chest. He reached over and grabbed her hand, putting a stop to her actions, rolling over slowly to look at her. She would be lying if she said it hadn’t hurt her feelings a little bit, “Gwil?”

“Have you thought I was a mistake this whole time?” he asked suddenly, and a look of confusion crossed her face. She didn’t know where he had even gotten the notion from; it wasn’t like he was there during dinner with her friends, “I heard you talking to the Headmaster yesterday. A mistake and a moment of indiscretion, I believe you called it.”

“Oh...I didn’t know you were listening,” she cringed lightly, realizing what she had said was pretty damning. He looked at her, a concerned look on his handsome face, “Gwil, no, bub, please that didn’t mean anything. It was all just talk.”

“Oh?” he echoed her earlier words, seemingly unconvinced by her words, “because I’m not going to waste my time if you don’t want me. I’m too old for that, and I don’t care for it. I want to be with you, Y/N, and entails telling people we’re dating, going out and living our life as a normal couple.”

“You do?” she asked in a small voice as he nodded at her, the corner of his mouth turning up slightly. There it was, her insecurities peeking through again, making her want to run away and hide. That was a commitment, a serious commitment, “I just I told Crickle that because I don’t need him to have another reason to fire me. I’m on thin enough ice as it is, and it’s barely beginning to thaw. I need to keep him on my good side.”

“I know...” he realized she was right, her job was important to her, “I understand, it was just...a bit harsh to hear. Perhaps my ego’s too soft.”

“Trust me, Gwilym Lee, I really care for you,” she confessed, her heart starting to thump wildly in her chest. It made her nervous to say the words out, like he could so easily just reject her, but he didn’t. He was choosing her, “I’m not going to lie and say this isn’t scary for me, but...just be patient with me, yeah?”

“I will. love,” he reached over and stroked her cheek gently, “I’ll have you know, I care very deeply for you too. But, that does lead me to my next question - will you be my girlfriend? Officially? So we can go on and be a normal couple?”

“Yes,” the word rolled off her tongue more easily than she had originally anticipated. It was easy, so easy saying yes to him and having no reservations. Calling the tall lanky tree that was Gwilym Lee her boyfriend seemed pretty good to her, “I’ll be your girlfriend, you big dork. But I have a question for you too...”

“Wow, things really are getting serious, aren’t they?” he joked, letting his hand drift down her bare body, pushing the covers back as he ghosted his fingers over her supple flesh, “look at us, in bed, discussing serious things. Just like a real couple.”

“I don’t know how serious my question actually is,” she laughed lightly, the way he was studying her was not lost on her. He smirked at her, one eyebrow cocked, “Lucy and Rami’s wedding is next weekend. Will you be my date?”

“Isn’t that kind of assumed?” he teased, slowly pulling her closer to him, soon leaving a bit of space between their bodies, “besides I want to meet your friends. I’m sure they’ve got plenty of good stories to tell. And I’ve got a new suit to break in.”

“They’re dying to meet you,” she agreed, the idea of him in a new suit caused tingles to shoot through her body. She wondered who gave him the right to look that good in a suit, casual tshirt and jeans, and naked. It simply wasn’t fair. But for some reason, he had chosen her, and she wasn’t about to argue with that, “they probably think I’m making you up.”

“I can assure, love, I’m real,” he whispered, nuzzling his nose against hers, pressing a few lazily kisses to her face as his hand drifted lower and lower before settling just above her hips, “I’m sorry for acting like an arse.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said as she placed a hand on his chest, “‘s okay. We’re here now, together, and that’s what matters.”

“Let me make it up to you,” he said in a suggestive manner and she almost moaned at the tone of his voice. It was so smooth, so perfect, and lusty, “you did all the work earlier. Let me take care of you properly.”

“Gwil,” she breathed out as he pulled back from her, sliding down the bed and slowly spreading her legs. She bit her lip, trying to hold back her whimpers as he kissed along her thighs, stopping when he reached their apex, “you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he insisted, shooting her a wink, “let me love you, Y/N. Let me be the one to take care of you.”

“Okay,” was all she managed to squeak out before his disappeared between her legs, her hands balling up in the sheets almost immediately. She tried to keep her mind quiet and to enjoy the pleasure, but, of course, it wasn’t meant to be. A slight sense of panic set in - she had just agreed to be someone’s girlfriend. It was scary, she knew, she hadn’t been anyone’s girlfriend in years, and for good reason.

But here she was, lying in bed with the most handsome of men between her legs telling her he wanted to her. And she was having second thoughts, all because of her own trepidation. If only life was as easy as the movies made it appear.

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thefreckledone · 5 years

Text

Satori (Between the Lines) - Part 15

“We need nicknames,” Sakura says, glancing up from the book she’s reading.

“Nicknames?” Ino repeats, focus remaining on the kunai she twirls between her fingers deftly. It isn’t a practice kunai and Sakura is sure that Inoichi would not be happy if he found out. “That’s a bit random isn’t it? What brought this on?”

Sakura squeezes the book, a journal on loan from Jiraiya, for a moment before her grip eases. “Maybe nicknames isn’t the right word for it. Codenames, rather.”

“Codenames?” Torune asks, shifting along the grass so he can look up toward Sakura. “Was there something about that in the journal?”

“Yeah,” Sakura says. “Well, it’s come up before in my training. Codenames get used during wartime.” She touches the cover of the journal. “All of the ranking officers received them.”

“And you’re getting a head start for us?” Shino asks, lips quirking.

“Well, as clan children you’ll undoubtedly rank,” Sakura replies, puffing her cheeks up at Shino’s teasing. “You know, if we go to war again.”

“You think we will?” Ino says, cornflower blue eyes going wide.

Sakura shrugs, deflating a bit. She’s heard some whispers among the agents at T&I, but nothing conclusive. There’s also the fact that the Academy even started the field experience assignments to begin with. All of the clan children ended up in positions that were out of their comfort zone: Ino, slotted for her mind specialty, was mentored by a weapon master; Shikamaru, slotted for strategy, was put to physical work clearing the Forty-Fourth Training Ground; Shino, slotted for sabotage and clean up, was assigned to work in a political setting in the fire daimyō’s fort in Konoha. The list went on in a similar manner. All of the clan children were being tested and, in Sakura’s opinion, refined to be better rounded. The civilian children were placed in less desirable circumstances, Sakura included. By chance and happenstance, Sakura was afforded a much better position in the end. In Sakura’s mind, that indicated a vested interest in raising up strong clan heirs to protect Konoha. “I think it’s possible.”

Ino hums, eyes narrowing speculatively on Sakura. Sakura meets her gaze boldly, knowing well how easily Ino could implement her jutsu and use it against Sakura. But Sakura trusts her friend. “You think it’s probable.”

Sakura chuckles, shaking her head wryly. Ino is too smart for her own good. “It seems likely. Konoha doesn’t usually have long periods of peace. It’s pretty amazing that there hasn’t been a war in our lifetime.”

“So, codenames then,” Torune says. “Is there usually a sort of rhyme or reason to them? A theme that unites them?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Sakura replies, astonished. “How’d you--?”

“I’ve been your friend long enough to recognize patterns,” Torune says with a huff, though a smile peeks through. “You cryptographers love unified ciphers that apply across multiple situations. The more universal, the better.”

Sakura grins at him, reaching over and grabbing his hand. “You’ve got me all figured out, don’t you?”

Torune laughs in delight. “Not even close.”

“Well, in any case, we should probably use some sort of key that unifies the codenames,” Sakura says. She glances around at the others. “Any ideas?”

Silence ensues and Sakura lies back against the grass, staring up at the sky as she thinks.

“We could do insects,” Shino says after a while. “Torune would be Bee because he’s so noisy and Ino would be Wasp because…” He trails off, giggling. “Well, that one is self-explanatory.”

“Absolutely not!” Ino says, pulling up grass and throwing it on him. Her brows are furrowed, but her lips twitch with a smile. “You best watch your words or I’ll give you a nasty sting with a kunai!”

Shino immediately shuts his mouth, but Sakura can see his shoulders trembling with laughter.

“Bee doesn’t suit me anymore,” Torune says, squeezing Sakura’s hand. “I hardly ever buzz anymore.”

“That’s true,” Ino says, turning away from attacking Shino to tap on her chin. “Why not flowers? They already have underlying meanings attached to them. And the specific names of the flowers are less likely to come up in daily conversation.”

“That’s true,” Sakura says, mind flashing for a moment to Celandine. She thinks he might appreciate having others with similar names as him. “That’s a really good idea, Ino!” She pauses, pondering. “Now what should they be?”

Everyone lapses into silence once more. Torune sits up after several moments, touching his goggles. More specifically, touching the leatherwork that Sakura did on it. “Sunflower for me,” he says, tone brooking no arguments. “Longevity, loyalty, and adoration.”

Sakura is impressed by the fact that Torune knows the meaning in the language of flowers for sunflower, but she sees Ino’s smile flatten a little at the last word. Did he get something wrong? “That makes sense,” Ino says with a nod. “And we can call you Helianthus as well; it’s the more technical name and could obscure the origin from outsiders more.”

“Helianthus,” Sakura repeats, trying out the long, unfamiliar word. It doesn’t exactly roll off her tongue, but something about it suits Torune. It’s complex but elegant, just like Torune himself is. “It suits you.”

“If we’re going for more obscure names, I suppose Ivy doesn’t work for me,” Shino sighs.

“Dependence, endurance, and faithfulness,” Ino says, parsing out the meaning. Her smile takes on a teasing light. “Can you live up to that type of name?”

“Of course,” Shino says readily. “I’m the heir of the Aburame; I must be these things to lead the clan.”

“In that case, Hedera would be your codename,” Ino says. “It’s the technical name.” She glances between the cousins. “Helianthus and Hedera; the shared first syllable is a nice indicator of your familial bond.”

“So now it’s Ino’s turn,” Sakura says. She cycles through her limited knowledge of the language of flowers, trying to come up with a flower that accurately represents her first friend. She comes up with nothing. What flower represents Ino’s strength, the way she’s a veritable force of nature? “Ino, is there a flower that means conviction and strength?”

“Gladiolus,” Ino says immediately. “Strength of character, honor, and conviction. Gladiolus is the ‘sword lily.’”

“That’s perfect for you!” Sakura exclaims, clapping her hands. “You’re so strong and determined.” She gestures to Ino’s now ever-present kunai pouch. “And you certainly carry enough knives around with you.”

Ino stares at Sakura for several moments, surprised, before grinning. Her cheeks flush as she watches Sakura. “That--well, that’s really sweet of you. Do you really see me like that?”

“Of course,” Sakura replies. “You’re so strong, Ino. It’s inspiring.”

“Gladiolus,” Ino says. “Wasn’t what I was expecting, certainly, but I’ll definitely take it!”

“What about you, Sakura?” Torune asks.

“What about me?” Sakura says.

“Your codename,” Torune replies. “You said that all ranked officers receive them.”

Sakura blushes at the inadvertent compliment, the unwavering faith in Torune’s voice. He thinks she’ll rank in the future and he doesn’t think she’s foolish for making plans about it. “Well, I’m not really sure.” She curls her lip a little bit. “Definitely not cherry blossom; it’s far too obvious.”

“What’s a flower that represents courage?” Shino asks, looking at Ino.

“Both borage and protea mean courage,” Ino replies.

“Borage,” Torune says. “It has a nice ring to it.”

0Hands slam down on Sakura’s desk. “Are you alright with this?”

Sakura jumps, turning from her conversation with Ino and Shino to meet Shikamaru’s furious eyes. She swallows, arms stinging in a reminder of the last time she incurred his wrath. His eyes burn as fiercely as smoldering coals, a single spark threatening to set them both aflame. She’s a bit surprised that he’s approached her; he’s let her be for the weeks since his apology. However, she won’t back down from his anger, even knowing what he is capable of.

“Alright with what?” she asks, directing a pointed look at his hands on the desk.

Shikamaru seems to recognize his position because he flushes, the anger dimming as he straightens his posture. “Sorry,” he says, the word coming easier and quicker than his first apology. “I overreacted.”

Sakura hums her assent, still eyeing him warily. “What brought you over here?” she asks, eyes flicking around the room.

Iruka-sensei is not here, none of the teachers are, as this is the free time for students. It’s really meant as a time for students to smooze and establish ties among each other without direct supervision. But Sakura knows that someone is observing; when Sasuke and Kiba’s last argument devolved to fisticuffs, a teacher was “conveniently” nearby. There is no such interference for scuffles among civilian students; either because they aren’t worth the hassle or such fighting will “toughen” them up. Sakura doesn’t know. So she isn’t sure what will happen if a civilian goes up against a clan child during this free time; if there will be interference or not.

She does know that she’ll be the one facing repercussions.

“My father,” Shikamaru says, folding his arms behind his back. “Have you not heard?”

“Obviously not,” Ino bites out, glaring at Shikamaru. “Stop dallying and state whatever has you so riled.”

Shikamaru glares at Ino, lip curling. Their relationship, splintered by Shikamaru’s attack on Sakura in that game gone so wrong, is still contentious as ever. Sakura feels bad for Chōji, always having to mediate between them whenever they have to interact at Ino-Shika-Chō reunions, which occur often. Sakura wonders if they’ll ever restore their friendship and, if not, if it’ll be taken into consideration when team assignments happen. Shikamaru swings his attention back over to Sakura, expression softening. “My father has taken on a new apprentice.”

Sakura blinks, processing the information. She feels a slight sting in her heart, a pressure that squeezes her tight for a moment. She respected Shikaku, looked up to him. He introduced her to the world of codes and ciphers and Sakura will never be able to repay him for that knowledge. But she has also known the pain of her hero being knocked from his shiny pedestal. Truthfully, it hurt far more when she realized that Shikaku did not have her best interests at heart. She is the one who cut ties with him because she couldn’t accept the actions he chose. So this? This is the natural progression of things.

“That’s good,” Sakura says finally. She can see Shino and Ino relax in her periphery.

“Is that all you have to say?” Shikamaru says, incredulous.

Sakura scratches her cheek. “Offer him my congratulations, I suppose,” she says, unsure what he’s getting at.

Shikamaru flushes, brows furrowing in his frustration. “He replaced you!”

“We cut ties,” Sakura replies mildly. “It makes sense that he found a new apprentice.”

“You aren’t planning to return?” Shikamaru asks.

“No,” Sakura says, squirming a bit beneath Shikamaru’s keen eyes. “I’m not. I will be forever thankful to Nara-san for the education he provided me. He assisted me in honing my interest into a passion. But our time working together is over. We’ve parted ways. I wish him well with his new apprentice and hope that their partnership will progress in a fruitful manner.”

“Oh,” Shikamaru says, deflating. “I see.”

“Are you alright?” Sakura asks after several moments, reading the lost look in his eyes. They aren’t friends, but Sakura doesn’t consider him her enemy either.

“I’m fine,” he says with a sigh. He shakes his head, focusing on Sakura once more. “I’m fine. I apologize for my...outburst. It’s just...she isn’t you.”

Sakura cocks her head, assessing him. She doesn’t really know how to respond to that last statement. So, she chooses to ignore it. “I forgive you for your outburst. And…” She pauses, not sure if she’s reading him right. “Thank you for your concern.”

Shikamaru’s face darkens to a violent red as he nods, scurrying over to his seat. Sakura watches him go, quizzical, but thankful that it did not come to blows.

Shikamaru is still hot-tempered, but, Sakura thinks, he might be growing.

Just maybe.

0“So this is what borage looks like,” Sakura says, scrutinizing the plant. The petals are a deep blue shade and number five in all, shaping the flower into a star. At the center are small white petals, that make the blue all the more stark. The stem and unbloomed buds are fuzzy and Sakura runs a finger over them. “Not what I was expecting.”

“It’s a beautiful flower and suits you,” Ino says firmly.

“I believe you,” Sakura says with a laugh. “Just, it looks a little unassuming to mean ‘courage.’”

“Maybe so,” Ino says, kneeling down in the soil to cup the flower.

They are in one of the many gardens that the Yamanaka clan owns and cultivates. This one belongs specifically to Ino. When she comes of age, she will be given a greenhouse, should she prove her worth as a gardener. Sakura’s understanding about this proving is that Ino will have to handrear a difficult flower. Ino, an overachiever by nature, plans to breed a new flower entirely through cross-cultivation.

“Still, it reminds me of you,” Ino says. “It’s a hardy flower, but still gorgeous.” She glances up at Sakura for a moment, before looking down at the cluster of borage plants. “Borage is often used as a companion plant.”

“Companion plant?” Sakura repeats the unfamiliar phrase.

“Companion plants are plants that are placed with different crops,” Ino says. “Borage specifically acts as a protector to tomatoes, spinach, legumes, brassicas, and strawberries.”

“It protects other plants,” Sakura says, charmed by the idea.

“It does,” Ino says, glancing at Sakura. “Sometimes at a cost to itself, as pests might attack it instead of the ‘more valuable’ plants.”

“Oh,” Sakura says, lips pursing. She doesn’t like the sound of that. She holds onto her forearm, remembering her encounter with the Nara clan. In fact, the treatment of civilian-born shinobi in comparison to clan-born shinobi could be classed in a similar manner.

“My aunt claims that tomatoes grown among borage plants grow faster and taste better than those that grow alone,” Ino says. “The insects that usually lay eggs in tomatoes are confused by the borage and sometimes even infest the borage.”

“I see,” Sakura says evenly, watching her friend. From the gleam in Ino’s eyes, her words aren’t spoken without thought; she wants Sakura to listen to the subtext in her words. Clans threaten to consume civilians who are of use to them, to further their own flourishing. “Why bring this up now?”

“Your birthday is coming up,” Ino says, taking up her pruning shears. “Another year older and another year closer to adulthood. You need to be careful who you allow close.”

Sakura frowns at Ino. “Are you concerned by those who are already around me?” she asks, voice tight and cold.

“Not for the reasons you think,” Ino replies. “But yes. You need to step carefully among the clans you allow close to you. I do not believe that they will harm you intentionally, but keep in mind that the clan as a whole may have designs upon your person.”

Sakura thinks on that for a moment, watching Ino prune the borage. “Marriage?” she gasps, voice louder than she expected it to be. She clears her throat, adjusting her expression as she glances around the thankfully empty garden. “You think that marriage is on the table?”

“Yes,” Ino says.

“But we’re still so young,” Sakura says, but it is a token protest at best.

Even among merchant clans, betrothals happen at a young age. Her parents avoided it, her mother’s original betrothed died in his adolescence, leaving Mebuki free to pursue Kizashi. She fought fiercely for the right to marry him, despite the fact that he did not come of a traditionally lucrative family. They often joked that it was the toughest negotiation of their lives, but there is a kernel of truth hidden within. They fought tooth and nail for the sake of love, which was why Sakura herself is not betrothed.

Not yet, at least.

Her parents want her to be involved in the decision, but marriage is expected of her.

“You know that doesn’t matter,” Ino says drily. “Such negotiations occur among clans as soon as the sex of the child is known. The Aburame are not known for prenatal betrothals, but betrothals in adolescence aren’t unheard of.”

“You think Shibi-ōji will propose that?” Sakura says. “With Torune or Shino?”

Ino shrugs, the motion graceful. “I do not know what the future holds. I just want you to be careful. You have a tendency to give more of yourself than you should. I don’t want you to use yourself up. You may be represented by borage, but you shouldn’t sacrifice yourself.” Ino stands, cupping Sakura’s face with a tenderness that mirrors the way she handled the borage. “There are no plants more valuable than you, Sakura.”

0Sakura stares down at the cipher that she still hasn’t managed to break, trying to figure out its meaning. She has made so little progress on it and yet…

She isn’t willing to give up.

Sakura eyes the second cipher specifically, paying close attention to one word that reoccurs throughout the code the most. It is oddly familiar to her, niggling at something that is just on the tip of her tongue. Sakura just stares down at it, willing the understanding to just occur.

Of course, it does not, remaining ever elusive.

Sakura sighs, rifling through the books that she has on code in search of inspiration.

Her eyes catch on one in particular, one on animals in a Suna code. One of the words looks oddly familiar.

Pig...

“You need to trap your room.”

Sakura nearly jumps out of her skin, flinching violently as she covers her work. “Celandine!” she exclaims, placing a hand on her chest. “What have I said about sneaking up on me?”

Celandine is seated on her bed, legs crossed as he stares blankly at her. “I did not sneak up on you. I sat upon your bed and called out to you from a respectful distance. I did not tap your shoulder or engage in unwanted physical contact.”

Sakura sighs, touching her brow. She can almost feel the wrinkles threatening to set in. “Next time, knock on the window or the door, however you get in.” She glances to the side, puffing out her cheeks in frustration. “And I do have traps in my room.”

“I will take your advice into consideration and adjust as requested,” Celandine says. “You need better traps; I did not even have to disable the traps to pass them by.”

“I’ll work on it,” Sakura says.

“You need to get better at them now,” Celandine says.

Sakura stares at him, surprised. He has never spoken back to her like this. He didn’t raise his voice or anything, but Sakura can tell he’s getting worked up. “What brought you by today?” she asks, discomfited by the way that Celandine’s black eyes glitter with intent.

“I came to warn you,” Celandine says, standing lithely.

“Warn me of what?” Sakura asks.

“You need to be more careful,” Celandine says, approaching her. “You are drawing too much attention with too little protection of yourself.”

“What do you mean?” Sakura asks.

Up close, Sakura can see the tightness of Celandine’s jaw and the way his fingers tremble. Sakura reaches out with both hands, one taking his and the other touching his jaw. He flinches but does not move further. Sakura keeps her touch gentle. “What do you mean?” she repeats.

“You are being watched,” Celandine says. “My master wishes--” He cuts off immediately as his entire form shudders in pain. Sakura embraces him, holding him up. “My master wants you.”

Blood trickles from Celandine’s mouth.

“Stop!” Sakura says, panicked by the clear torture speaking brings him. “Don’t say anymore. Don’t hurt yourself further.”

“I must warn you,” Celandine says, determination blazing in his dark gaze. He clings to Sakura, refusing to release her. He will take comfort where he can get it. Sakura holds him in turn, willing to support him for as long as he needs. “You need to get the Sannin to declare you his official apprentice. It is imperative that you publicly receive his support. Do you understand?”

It is so strange to hear Celandine speak in such a monotone voice despite the desperation and pain with which he clutches her.

“I do,” Sakura replies, running a hand down his back. She imitates the movements of her mother, the way her mother soothes Sakura after a nightmare. Slowly, the trembling eases before ceasing entirely. “I will do as you ask, Celandine.”

“Good,” Celandine says. “Good.”

They stay like that, embraced, for longer than either could say.

For the first time in a very long time, Celandine feels...safe.

0Writing this chapter reminded me so much of writing Borage, which is a oneshot that features Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, and the language of flowers. I returned to some of my favorite flower meanings here because I’m a basic bitch, lol. Y’all should check it out if you enjoy urban fantasy AUs.

#my fic #satori (between the lines)#sakura haruno #ino yamanaka #torune aburame #shino aburame #sai #shikamaru nara #we're at about the halfway point of this story #things are about to start happening #for better or worse

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benhardyisdaddy · 5 years

Text

Love Of My Life - Part 7

MASTERLIST

(i hope you all enjoy this part <3 writing the letter part was so cute i actually cried LOL)

Word Count: 1,847

Your eyes can’t break away from the ink filled note in your hand. You run your fingers over the tiny, beautiful cursive words that you adored with all of your heart. You half laugh to yourself when remembering how jealous you were of John’s handwriting.

“It shouldn’t be better than mine! It’s not fair.” you pouted.

You were sat watching John write some lyrics for the band. He had ideas coming to him from left and right and was in, what he liked to call, the zone. He looks up to you and chuckles by how moody you are over his handwriting.

“You’re being silly.” he says, looking back down. “It’s just handwriting.”

“Yes,” you groan, laying back on the bed. “And yours is way nicer than mine and it’s rude.”

John looks over to you and lays on his stomach, facing you.

“I don’t think handwriting can be rude, love.” he teases.

You roll your eyes and fight back a smile. John never failed to make you smile. You look at the piece of paper next to his hand and he catches you.

“Here,” he says, sliding it over to you.

You pick it up without thinking and scan through the words, running your fingers over the almost dry ink.

“What’s this?” you ask.

“It’s a new song I’m working on. It’s called ‘You’re My Best Friend’. I wrote it for you.”

You look up to him quickly as he smiles down at you. Your heart fluttered with love as you grin and reach up to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him hard. He smiles against you as you pull away and stare into his eyes.

“Okay, I forgive you and your perfect handwriting.” you tease.

John laughs and shakes his head at you.

“Oh, you forgive us, huh?” he asks as he grabs and pins you to the bed, you both laughing loudly.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as Roger says your name. You look up to him and he shakes his head. He sits down next to you and looks at the note.

“Well, what does it say?” he asks, almost as curious as you.

You were scared to read it. Whatever this is would be the last thing of John you will ever get. It was a little piece of him and for a moment, just a moment, it felt like he was still here with you and you were okay. You look back to the note and clear your voice before reading.

To My Best Friend And Wife,

Hello, my love. If you’re receiving this letter, that must mean I’m gone. I am so sorry, my darling. I promised you forever and then left you. Please believe me when I say that I never wanted to leave you. I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life. We had so many plans that we never got to finish. Like our trip to Paris or the hot air balloon ride we always wanted to do. There’s so many and I’m so sorry I never got the chance to do them with you.

I don’t want you to be sad and angry, my love. I want you to be happy and enjoy life. I want you to do things you loved to do. Like sitting by the window and reading your favorite book. Or baking those chocolate chip cookies which I adored. I need you to not miss me as much as you do, because knowing you and your kind heart, it’s a lot. I need you to allow Roger to help you. He’s my best mate and he’s going to want to be there for you like he was for me. I also need you to one day be able to find love. I know that sounds silly right now, but it will happen. I’m not asking you to forget about me, I’m just asking you to one day open your heart up again for the right man. You deserve all of the love this world has to offer. I just wish it could have been me to give it to you. Do you remember when you wanted so badly to read what I had been writing? Well I promised you I’d let you read them eventually, didn’t I?

Well, my love, I must end the first letter for now. This isn’t the only letter that you will receive. I could never do that to you. The next letter will be there for you tomorrow and you must follow every order on that piece of paper. Pinky promise? I know you will. I love you beyond words can describe.

Yours Forever,

John

P.S. You’re the love of my life

Tears flooded your eyes as you finished reading the letter. Your heart was pounding as your mind was going a million miles an hour. These were the writings that he was working on! He had been writing letters for you for when he was no longer here. You couldn’t believe it. You smiled to yourself as you reread ‘this isn’t the only letter that you’ll receive’.

“He has more coming.” you say, looking over to a crying Roger.

He smiles and nods his head as he wipes his eyes.

“He says I have to follow every order? What do you think that means? What’s he going to want me to possibly do?” you ask, your face falling.

“I have no idea, to be honest.” says Rog, shrugging.

You look back down at the letter and run your fingers over it once more. This was the first time since he’s been gone that you have actually felt somewhat happy. Like a burnt out flame inside of you is trying to relight itself. You couldn’t believe he wrote you and that there’s more coming! You were so giddy and excited now. How badly you wanted him to be here to speak these words to you, but his handwriting is just as amazing to you. Roger watches as you smile while looking down. It makes him happy to finally see you not so sad. He knows you’ll be okay now. He stands up to his feet and you look up to him.

“I have no words to describe how ecstatic I am that he wrote you. You deserve a piece of happiness for yourself.” he says, smiling.

“Where are you going?” you ask, worried.

You stand up as Roger takes a few steps towards the door. He turns around and smiles.

“I was gonna let you have your time to process all of this.”

You shake your head fast as you take another step towards him.

“No, you were in this letter too! It’s both of ours! Roger, stay with me.” you say.

His face goes slightly shocked at what you had just said. You realize how odd it must have sounded.

“I mean, just sleep over. He said another one will be coming tomorrow! The mail runs early. Stay so we can read it together again. Please?” you ask, telling yourself not to cry.

Roger smiles once more and nods his head. He walks towards you and you rush into his arms and hug him tightly. You exhale as he holds you close.

“It’s like he’s still sort of here.” you mumble against his chest.

Roger smiles and kisses the top of your head before you lean away. A certain pang of sadness was trying to hit you. It was as if you were remembering that it’s just a letter. It’ll get torn up or lost and when that day happens, it’ll be like losing him all over again. Your face falls and you look down at the ground fast, trying to hide your blurry eyes. You turn around and walk towards your bedroom.

“Give me a second.” you tell Roger as you shut the door behind you.

You fall to the floor and clutch the letter to your chest. You cover your mouth and quietly sob, hiding it from Roger. Your husband sent you a letter. Your husband who you’ll never see again. How many people does this happen to? John wrote those letters, because he knew one day he wouldn’t be here anymore. While you were in the kitchen making cookies, he was planning his death and you had no idea. You wipe your eyes and calm down your shaky breathing. You didn’t want Roger to know you had another break down. Your emotions were all over the place. You stand up and fix yourself. You open your door and slowly walk back out. Roger was sitting on the arm of the couch and stands up straight when he sees you.

He knows you’ve been crying, it's obvious with your flushed cheeks and watery bloodshot eyes. He doesn’t dare to say anything to you, in fear it might upset you more. He just smiles as he watches you pause in the hallway and look at him. You sadly smile and look like a lost child for a moment. It was sweet to him.

“Um,” you say, your voice a bit hoarse. “I’ll take something to eat now, if the offer still stands.”

Roger smiles and nods his head.

“Offer will always stand.” he says as he makes his way to your kitchen.

***

After a delicious meal and talking for what seemed like forever, the two of you decided to call it a night. You made Roger a little bed on the couch and you made your way to your own bed. Sleeping by yourself still felt so odd and unnatural. Having another person next to you for years was comforting and familiar. But thankfully, when your head hit that pillow, you were out. Of course, you dream of John. You always dream of John. They never last long, but for a moment, it feels like he’s back with you. Like he never left. You were so happy until you woke up. It took you a moment to realize that it was, in fact, just a dream. It feels so real in the moment, like he’s actually there. You don’t remember how many times you’ve woken up and prayed to God for you to go back to sleep and have the same dream. You never do.

It’s nearing 9am when there’s a loud knock at your door. Your body stirs awake, but you don’t process anything yet. You move around and groan as you close your eyes once more. They open wide when there’s another loud knock at your door. You sit up fast and feel your heart pounding in your chest. You listen closely as you hear your front door open up and a few voices talking. A second passes and the door is shut. You jump from your bed and wrap your white robe around yourself. You open your bedroom door and stop when you notice Roger looking at you. He smiles with a tired look on his face as he holds up an envelope.

“I think this is for you.” he says, smiling.

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#benhardyisdaddy #loml #love of my life #roger taylor #ben!roger x reader #roger taylor imagine #rogertaylor #rogertaylorxy/n #ben!rogertaylor #roger taylor x you #fic #series #angst #fluff #johndeacon #john deacon

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dancing-deacon · 6 years

Text

Drowse

A/N: Hello lovelies! This is a Roger Taylor x Reader song fic for Drowse that I wrote for @fredthelegend writing challenge! I loved doing this and adored the idea! I hope you enjoy!

Words: 5k

My Masterlist

The first meeting

“There’s all the more reason for laughing and crying

When you’re younger and life isn’t too hard at all.”

You’d never forget the way the sun reflected off the almost white blonde hair of a seven-year-old Roger Taylor, jumping out of his parent’s car, eager to see his new home. In his hand he held a small toy car, immediately flinging himself onto the front lawn, making rumbling and screeching noises with his mouth.

You hid behind your mothers’ legs as she introduced herself to the new next-door neighbors. Your eyes never left the boy, lost in his own world.

“I like your car,” You had expressed. You loved the cherry red color of the hood and the way you could see your reflection in the hubcaps. Both those terms you had later learned from Roger, handing him tools as he leaned over the front end of his, “baby,” he would say.

“I’m gonna get one just like it when I’m older!” He shouted, shoving the car at your chest, his eyebrows raised high. His smile filled his face, gapped where he had already lost a few teeth. You wished you had lost as many as he had.

“Roger, don’t yell.” His father scolded from across the lawn.

Roger’s face fell to a huff. You liked the name Roger, and when you found out his last name, you thought it flowed together like a song. Roger Meddows Taylor was better than any song he had ever written.

“I’m (Y/N), do you have more pretty cars?” You asked eagerly, excited to see what other beautiful things he had to offer.

Roger nodded his head in excitement, his white blonde hair bouncing across his forehead. Roger grabbed your hand and tugged you inside, ready to share his life with you.

The first real gig

“I think I’ll be Clint Eastwood

Jimi Hendrix he was good

Let’s try William the Conqueror

Now who else do I like”

Roger couldn’t stay still that day in classes. His leg was shaking the entire day, his fingers fiddling his leg in the chords he later would play on stage.

“Rog,” you whispered, him completely zoned out looking at the ceiling, still fiddling. “Rog!” You whispered, louder this time, leaning to hit hi bouncing leg from your desk.

“Huh?” He hadn’t heard you, just felt your hand collide with his thigh.

“You should pay attention, we have a test tomorrow.” Roger turned his head to the board, a puzzled look growing on his face upon realization he was completely lost. He looked down at his empty notebook paper and frowned.

You waited for your teacher to turn his back to you, “I know you’re nervous, but I’ve heard you practice…you’ll be amazing, trust me.” You gave him a soft smile, hoping your truthful encouragement would calm him.

Roger nodded and matched your face. He outstretched his left hand towards yours and you grab it discreetly, filled with content as he squeezed it.

Roger Taylor on stage was natural. It was like watching a lion sunbathing following a big meal he had hunted himself. Controlled. Satisfied.

Through those long days you’d listen through your cracked window to Roger practicing in his bedroom, and how he’d be too shy to allow you to open it all the way, so you snuck it to a crack as he got lost in the music of it all. You had listened his notes turn to chords. Chords turn to phrases. Phrases turn to songs. It was a completely different sensation when he started on the drum set. Now that, that came natural to him. The sticks were an extension of himself. You never could focus on your task when he played, it hypnotized you. As it would soon the whole world, you had yet to know.

Roger wouldn’t take his eyes from you. He squinted behind the lights, making sure he could see your features, remembering the words you would whisper to him right before heading onto the stage, “You’re an amazing musician. You’ll be great. Just watch me if you get nervous.” Your words followed by a light kiss on his cheek, which you only gave when you knew he needed to know you were there for him. Plus, you knew it drove some of the girls in your school crazy, seeing you were close enough to do such an act on the rock band stud Roger Taylor.

It was weird seeing your school mates up there on stage, some of them seemed…uncomfortable. Being in front of a large crowds entertaining was not their calling. But Rog, you felt it. You felt how he was meant to play. Play for millions. He had potential. Music was a part of him. It made your stomach flutter, and your heart swell.

The first fight

“And all your troubles are all very small”

Roger fell hard and fast for her.

Theresa.

Head over heels was an understatement for the adoration he felt for her. Her raven black hair shone in any kind of light, which only showed her slim pale face better. Roger’s relationship had started just as fast as it had fizzled out. If there was one thing you had learned about Roger, none of the girls in his life seemed to stay there long, except for you.

Each night after their dates you’d hear her giggle outside his door, it seemed to go on for hours. You were always kept awake by the echo of the pecks of their lips going through your open window as you laid in bed.

She had expressed her concern of his best friend being female, even if Roger had never told you directly, you had heard the rumors floating at school. With Theresa, Roger started drifting. Roger spent less and less time with you those few autumn months.

“Sorry I have plans with Theresa,” were the most common words out of his mouth.

He would drive her to school every morning rather than you, watching from the comfort of your breakfast table him leave extra early to drive across town and back. But he seemed happy, so you never mentioned your concern for your friendship, or the worry you’d lost him.

The night of the dance was the loneliest. In the past, you and Roger had gone to every school function together, no matter how much the other didn’t want to go, or even when you were sick with the stomach flu. Roger pulled you out of bed, promising you would have a night you’d never forget.

He was right. You’ll never forget Roger holding your hair back in the bathroom, the bass of the band thumping on the other side of the walls.

You watched Roger take a picture with Theresa before leaving, he looked so handsome in his suit, you made sure to tell him too, because he never dressed up for anything.

Roger gave you a hug before leaving, which only caused Theresa to shoot daggers at you. “Have fun at the dance!” You choked out, frustrated you’d be home alone rather than having fun with Roger. But you went inside, fake smile dropping as soon as you turned away.

You were reading a book in bed when you heard Roger’s car door slam, followed by his house door. No giggles, no pecks of kisses flooding your ears.

Through your open window you looked across the parkway, where Roger’s room was now lit up. You saw him throw his tie on the floor and flop onto his bed, face down. A common sign he was upset. You’ve seen it after every fight, every bad grade, every punishment.

You crawled out your window, tiptoeing over to his, knocking gently three times. Roger’s head perks up, his eyes red and damp. Seeing Roger cry was a rarity, and it tore away at your insides to see.

Roger made his way over to his window, unlatching it. He grabbed your hand without a word and helped you inside.

“Roger, what’s wrong?” You guided him to his bed, sitting down next to him, your legs as close as they could be.

“She, uh, she ended it. Said I was distracted?” Roger chuckled in disbelief.

“Distracted?” You questioned, just as confused as he was.

“Apparently she didn’t appreciate my best friend being a girl.” Roger shook his head, running his hand through his slicked back locks. “I talked about you too much, I guess. How we always went to dance together and how it felt weird you weren’t there.” Roger didn’t take his eyes off you, sadness filled them. “She didn’t like that.”

Your chest felt off, you felt terrible for being happy Theresa was out of the picture again, that you would have your best friend back. But it was your fault she was gone in the first place.

“You really talked about me?” Your head is flustered.

“Of course! I had to tell her some of our crazy stories,” Roger nudged his shoulder into yours.

Your soft smile dropped as fast as it appeared. “There haven’t been much of those recently.”

“I know.” Roger took a long pause. “I’m sorry. I mean, it was my first real relationship.” You could tell Roger’s heart was broken.

“The next one, promise you won’t forget about me?” You met his blue eyes, a tear falling from one.

“I promise” he holds your chin between his fingers shaking your head side to side lightly. “I’ll never let anyone come between me and my best girl” He dropped his hand, your face instantly missing his touch.

“Wait…will you stay with me?” Roger asked uncomfortably. You hadn’t stayed the night since you were young. “I don’t really want to be alone.”

“Of course,” you wanted to comfort Roger. You felt whole being the one he went to heal his heartbreak.

Roger turned off the lights and went under the covers of his bed facing away from you. You slid in next to him, facing his back, putting your hand on his arm, to let you know you were there.

After a silence that you’d expect him to be asleep his voice broke. “Hey, (Y/N)? You forgive me, right?” Roger whispered, his voice shaky.

“I forgive you, Rog.” You whispered back, gently stroking your hand on his upper arm. “I’ll always forgive you.”

The last day before your final year

“Out here on the street we’d gather and meet

And scuff up the sidewalk

With endlessly restless feet”

You and Roger found your secret spot early on, a tiny nook hidden in the thick brush. Shaded by a weeping willow, the branches hang heavy into the river water, the current pulling them with it. Roger, ever since he was little, would perch on the lowest branch, legs swinging, growing closer and closer to the ground as the years went by. You could remember the year by the distance and how high up he looked. Roger would watch you, wading around in the shallows, slipping on rocks. You slowly learned which ones to avoid as you grew older. Roger enjoyed the way you found beauty in the small things. The tiny fish that avoided your step, the light green foam the shore lapped up, the branches you would use as support to lean your weight on.

The walk to the spot wasn’t long, at least it never felt that way. Yours and Roger’s voices filled he space between the trees, always carrying the trip on.

You had sat on the shore, your and Roger’s toes dipped in the cool water. Neither of you had said much after sitting down, just watched in awe of the clear sky and setting sun. It turned the river a deep purple shade, which Roger expressed, “I never thought I’d love purple, but…there it is.”

You smiled at his sentiment, imagining Roger wearing a purple shirt, rather than his usual black attire. “Purple would bring out your eyes,” you teased, knowing the girls at school would fawn over him more than they already had.

“You know it.” He gave a cheeky wink, hitting his shoulder into yours as he always did whenever you bantered.

The sun was just about to dip below the horizon, the stars starting to peak out in the clearing above the willow. “Rog, it’s getting late we should head back, we have early classes tomorrow.” You pushed off your hands into a squatting position, about to stand up. Roger grabbed your wrist, still staring forward at the water.

“Or…” he started, a mischievous look on his face, “Or we could do something crazy.”

You’ve seen that face a thousand times. The first being in his mother’s kitchen, right before burning his hand on the freshly baked cookies she told him to wait to eat. The scariest when he wanted to see how fast he could take his first car around the bend in the back roads, wrecking in a ditch.

Being best friends with Roger for eleven years, he had rubbed off on you in so many ways. His sense of mischief and desire for crazy stories to remember were the first traits to stick, since day one.

“What exactly do you have in mind? Not that I’m objecting to something crazy.” You had questioned, following his lead as he stood up.

Roger side-eyed you, his eyes growing wide. In one swift motion he removed his shirt, throwing it at the base of the willow tree. You threw your hand over your eyes, “Roger!”

He laughed at your comment, you’ve seen him many times without a shirt on, there was no surprise there. Roger tugged the shoulder of your shirt, “Come on, skinny dipping!”

You removed your hand from your eyes, your face starting to burn at the ridiculous thought, and how intimate the action he thought of is. “Ugh, Rog you don’t want to see that, and I don’t either.”

You hadn’t much thought about Roger in that way, you’ve seen the gross, the bad, and the ugly of him. Not once much wondering what he was hiding beneath it all. Roger of course, being the teenage boy he was, had wondered, even if he would never admit it.

“Fine, we will both close our eyes until we’re in the water. How about that?” His voice is eager, waiting for this new adventure with his best friend.

His lips had a slight pout, hand still holding tight your shirt. “Fine.” You agreed, trying to throw away any logic from your brain.

You removed your top slowly, watching Roger’s eyes trail away from you into the water. The night air hit your bare stomach giving you goosebumps.

Roger followed suit, removing his pants, kicking them to the side by his shoes. As you removed your skirt, you noticed Roger glance towards you, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

“Alright, Taylor…eyes closed.” You stated. You watched him make a big scene of shutting his eyes, squinting them shut with a tight smile at you. You lightly closed yours, peaking on last time to ensure his stayed as such.

You heard his movements and the sound of his underwear dropping on the grass. You giggled, pinching your eyes shut to fight every urge to take a little peek.

Roger cleared his throat, “I don’t hear anything, any day now.”

“Alright, alright.” You don’t think, in one fowl swoop you unclip your bra and drop your underwear to your feet.

“Grab my hand.” Roger spoke, brushing his arm up your side.

“What if I accidentally grab something else?” You joked to him, pulling your arm up to find his hand.

You knew the exact face Roger had on, a small smirk and squinted eyes. “Trust me you’d know,” he teased back.

“Ew, Roger!” You reached your hand around and smacked his bare chest hard, gripping his hand with the other.

He started out into the water, pulling you after him blindly. Even blind, you both knew which spots to avoid while walking, not to slip.

The water creeped up your body, enveloping your legs, butt, stomach, and then chest. You were up to your collar bone, the plants at the bottom of the river tickling your toes.

Still clutching Roger’s hand, you face towards him, “Ready?” he asked.

“Mhm.” You said lightly, a shake in your voice from the chill.

“3, 2, 1, open!” Both your eyes shot open, you broke into a hearty laugh, as does Roger.

“I can’t believe we are doing this!” You shrieked, immediately having your mouth covered by Roger’s dripping hand.

“Shhh, we’ll get caught.” He whispered hoarsely, giggling afterwards.

You grabbed his hand, pulling it away from your mouth. You cupped your fingers and scooped water up at his face, dowsing his hair.

Roger frowned, tightening his lips, eyebrows raised high.

“Oh no, Roger no,” you pointed your finger up at him, taking a clumsy step back as he took one forward, his mischievous grin had returned.

Roger lunged forward and scooped you up, one arm under your knees, the other around your lower back. You pinned you to his chest, yelling “Roger, yes!” He buckled his knees, dragging you underwater with him.

He jumped back out of the water, still clutching your naked body against his chest, which you now gripped onto for dear life. You squealed loudly as soon as you got air, wiping the water out of your eyes. Roger shook his long mane, scattering water droplets across the surface of the river. His smile was one you’d never forget, pure joy filled him in the moment. His entire physique, from his bright eyes to his curved lips showed how much he loved you, and how overjoyed he was to be experiencing this with his best friend.

Roger’s smile dropped slowly, watching yours do the same. Your breath shook at the way he held you close, his hand resting near to the bottom of your breast. You didn’t know if it was the hormones, the comfort of his presence, or the intimacy of the moment, but you leaned in towards his lips. Roger leaned his head in, matching your movements. You felt his chest thump under your palm as your lips met, both damp from the water. The kiss was short, but it was one you felt deep in your stomach, making your toes curl, Roger clutching into your side harder. Unlike any of your kisses with your past boyfriends.

You pulled away prematurely, Roger’s eyes were still shut, lost in the moment. Roger is quickly snapped out of it as you squirmed away from his grasp. His face first pleased, turned to worry.

“(Y/N), wait.” He tried reaching out to your hand as you waded through the water to the shore, shaking your head.

“Roger, lets go home.” Were your last words of the night. Getting out of the water, you ignore any worry he might be looking at your naked body. You quickly pulled on your clothing, struggling with your wet skin.

Roger followed behind you, his head stayed down, not to watch you, out of respect for your request to him before. He pulled on his pants, holding his shirt in his hands.

The two of you started down the dark road home silently. Roger noticed you shaking, clutching your arms to avoid the chilly night air. Roger, took the shirt he carried and wrapped it around your shoulders, smiling at you.

You gave him a tight-lipped smile back, worrying about what your actions meant, especially because he reciprocated.

Roger delivered you to your doorstep, as he usually does after spending time together. Roger gave you a quick hug, again, same as usual. “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow for school.” He said while pulling away.

You nod, “Night, Rog.”

Roger left down your driveway and you opened your front door. As you are about to shut it behind you, you turn your head back at Roger, who at the same moment had turned his head to glance back at you, for one more look. Roger gave a small flirty smile, blushing lightly. Your lips curled up, heart fluttering, and shut the door for the night.

The goodbye

“It’s the sad eyed goodbye

Yesterday’s moments I remember.”

The last time at your secret spot for who knows how long. Roger was to be leaving tomorrow for London. A full six-hour drive, expensive plane ride, eternity away. It hadn’t hit you how far exactly he was moving and how he would no longer be a few yards away from your bedroom window.

You had been sitting next to him the entire day, first it was to help him pack his boxes, remembering a story with each thing you touched.

The pair of broken drumsticks framed by you after his first gig as the drummer. He broke them during the last song, but managed to finish with the nubs he had, even if you had to admit it sounded like shit. You were proud of him then.

The old tie he had to wear at the Cathedral School, across town away from you. How years before he transferred to the same school as you as a teenager, every afternoon after classes you’d sit on his front step, sharing every detail of your day. Those memories were some of your favorites. Hearing the drama of the girls and what better lunches he had.

The white long sleeve shirt you brought over from your house, folded neatly, preparing to put it in the box. The shirt you had borrowed from him on the first chilly summer night of the season, and how it still had the light scent of Roger and the bonfire you had that night. “No, no.” He put his arm over the top of the box, “You keep that. It’s yours now, to remember me.” Roger had a sad smile over his face, worried you would somehow forget him.

The car keys placed on his desk. Those you’ve touched only a few times, but that was on your terms. Roger was the one who taught you to drive, but he was a horrible backseat driver. After three lessons you called it quits, resulting in Roger driving you everywhere. Not that he ever minded. It was an excuse to spend more time with you.

Even though you knew you could never forget the most creative, unique, and charming man you’ve ever met. The man you had the honor of calling your best friend for all your life. “Thanks, Rog.” Is all you had managed to say, unable to speak anymore without getting choked up.

“Roger it’s going to be hard with you so far.” You admitted finally, watching him stop pacing across his room and approach you. He squatted down in front of you, hands on your knees.

“I know. But, hey, we have the phone, and breaks I’ll be home.” He tried to help make it better. Even if his heart wasn’t fully into the persuasion.

Roger raised his hand, wiping a tear from your cheek with his thumb. You gave him a small smile, he was always making sure to take care of you, as you did him.

“If it helps, I’m nervous as hell. New city, new life, new school.” Roger had this scared look on his face, it was different than any other look you’ve seen from him. “And leaving the band behind, what if I don’t play anymore?”

You laughed out loud at his last comment, making him shy his face away in embarrassment, knowing he was overthinking.

“Roger,” you ruffled his hair in your hands, “you’re probably the best musician out there, you’ll find some other band, trust me.” He had to trust you. Anytime you said so, he had to. You never steered him wrong. “Just don’t forget about your dentistry dreams.” You teased, knowing music was largely on his mind.

“I won’t,” he rolled his eyes, studying was the least of his desires in that moment, “But I will if I become famous.” He gave his classic Roger stage smile.

You stared at your feet, placed next to Roger’s who was still crouched in front of you. You voice grew quiet. “Roger, please don’t forget about me…if you do become famous.” In the back of your mind you knew it was possible. This boy was good. Better than anything you’ve ever heard. You knew he would go places.

Roger put his hand on your cheek, where your face grew warm at his touch. “I promise, I could never forget my best girl.”

The first-time meeting again

“Never wanted to be the boy next door

Always thought I’d be something more

But it ain’t easy for a small town boy

It ain’t easy at all”

Forget is what he did.

Roger hadn’t called you for years. Hours apart turned to days, which turned to months, quickly to years. He got busy you had assumed. He turned famous.

The first sound of him on your radio threw you. He briefly mentioned on the phone he auditioned for a band, how real it felt, and how he knew it was right. But he wanted to hear about your life. But those calls were few and far between. Now you didn’t even know his number, and he couldn’t recall yours.

The voice, the voice you thought you had forgotten but upon hearing it, brought you back to the late-night talks, the school dances, the gigs he played for you.

He had moved on from being the boy next door. Your boy next door. You cried in front of the radio, one hand on your chest, the other on the dial, unable to find it in yourself to turn it off.

Queen.

The first look at the band on the television, Roger looked to be the same young boy you grew up with, but so different at the same time. You didn’t know if you’d even recognize his face if you saw him on the streets.

Let alone when he came knocking on your front door.

You heard the rumors around town, the Roger Taylor was coming back into town to visit his parents. It made you roll your eyes. You even thought about planning a trip out of town, but the vagueness of when your old neighbor would be back was enough to make you stay.

Through the peephole of your door, there he was. Same as he was years ago. His blonde locks cascading down to his shoulders, his fashion choices…more interesting.

You clicked open the door, immediately embraced by Roger’s arms. His scent was different, cigarettes the most prominent.

“Roger, hi.” Your chest was in pain, seeing your best friend in front of you, the one who broke his promises. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to visit my best girl.” He whispered this into your ear. There it was again. If you were his ‘best girl’ why hasn’t he talked to you in so long.

Roger kissed your cheek before pulling away, his pure smile wanting to melt your heart, but all you felt was ice.

“Wow, the drummer of Queen chose me? Of all the girls?” You put your hand up to you face, pretending to be flattered, even if deep down you were a little.

“Oh, always.” He gave a cheeky little wink, which made you giggle, forgetting briefly the pain he had caused you. How alone you had felt.

Your silence did something to Roger, you had never been quiet around him. He continued with the banter. “I mean, it’s stupid but I did always have somewhat of a crush on you,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Seeing you again brought that back.” His eyes looked young again. The bright blonde neighbor boy who stole your heart and shared your young life with. The same eyes that had watched you experience life and loved every moment of it.

You had felt similar throughout your years, but it was different now. He wasn’t the same Roger. He always wanted to be more than the boy next door and now he was, he outgrew you and your small-town life.

You needed your most burning question answered. “Roger, why didn’t you call…” His smile dropped, instant regret filling his face. “Didn’t you miss me?” Your throat burned from holding back tears. “I sure did.”

Roger closed his eyes, dreading this question since his first year away. “I honestly didn’t realize how much time had passed, especially after joining Queen. Then, after a while, I thought it was too late, that it had been too long.”

“Roger, you forgot.” You didn’t want to believe it especially the last night you spent together where he promised to always remember.

Roger jolted forward, placing his hands on your shoulders, face close to yours. “I never forgot about you. I’m so sorry if it felt that way. I thought of you all the time.”

His hands clutched into your skin, starting to hurt. “Why don’t I believe you.” Your words barely came out. Any louder, tears would have poured down your cheeks. You didn’t want Roger to see how much pain he had caused you.

“(Y/N), I love you dearly, and I always will. I wish I could’ve experienced the past few years with you.” Roger paused, moving his eyes back and forth, the gears were turning in his head. “Please, let me take you back to London with me, it can be just like old times again.” Roger sounded so hopeful, even though his eyes were begging.

You brushed his arms off your shoulders, taking a step back to your front door. “Call me again in five years, Roger. If you remember.” You turn to close the door, but Roger grabs the doorknob, tears streaming down his cheeks, eyes puffy and raw.

“Please.” Is all he asked.

But you couldn't find it in your heart to forgive him this time.

“We are different people now; you and I both need to move on with our lives. But you’ll always have a special place in my heart, Rog.” You clicked the door shut, your life now filled only with distant memories of your best friend, Roger Taylor.

taglist @blissfully-queen @roger-taylor-stole-my-heart @freedie-mercoory @fredthelegend

#roger taylor #queen #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #queen fic #drowse #ftlchallenge

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