#but when the truth came out i had to be my own eren and mikasa

[loneghostss]

Care to share more about ur serial killer au 👀

anon, sorry for taking so long, i wanted to reply with a small drabble.

The boy covered in blood was in her yard when she found him. Wandering through the sole night, illuminated only by the moonlight. It was a night in which she could not sleep and Mikasa had made a habit of taking a walk, wearing off her body when there was too much in her head. Late hours breeze felt good against her skin in a way nothing else felt. Until he came into her life, she had never experienced the softness of somebody’s touch. 

By then, her mother was fast asleep, so there wasn’t anyone to advise her against her poor judgment when the first word slipped out of her mouth. “Hi, do you need help?”

There was nothing to guarantee the stains of blood on him were descendant only of his own blood.  And perhaps, if she didn’t feel so alone, she wouldn’t have taken him inside, taken care of him on the couch like no one else seemed to have cared enough to do. He didn’t say any words while she cleaned up his wounds. No, that wasn’t what happened or how she knew it was the sort of thing that, for once, would turn her into something bodily and alive. While she slid sterile tissue over his the broken skin of his face, his green eyes were fixed on hers, maybe hoping she would explain why she wasn’t afraid. It wasn’t only once he was rid of the blood that she could notice how handsome he was, the precise roughness of his features, the fullness of his lips, and the sharp gleam of his eyes. If he talked to her, maybe he would’ve told her he was of the same age as her, or maybe just a few years apart.

"Mama is asleep, but you can sleep on the couch just for tonight," she said, not liking the way her own voice sounded, like it wasn’t right. She made an attempt to get up from the couch, knowing she’d have to go upstairs and fetch blankets for him. But from the moment she found him, she knew nothing would be simple as that anymore. He held onto her wrist, a raw plea she almost couldn’t read flashed in his eyes. "Why don't you speak to me? I cannot help you if you don’t speak." 

The boy looked away, and she was familiarized with loneliness, so that was part of why she thought she would get nothing out of him, thought it was meaningless to even try. But then, like a colorless page of an old, rich book, he surprised her. 

“My name is Eren,” he said, his voice occupying all the space around them like a quickly spreading sickness, making her heart race inside the walls of her ribcage.

“Eren,” she tested the weight of his name on her tongue. It sounded like a tragic, solitary line of poetry, one that didn’t need anything else, carrying all the meaning alone. "You don't have a place?"

There was something truthful and disarmed when he shook his head, no.

“Alright. My name is Mikasa,” she said. “You're too wounded and it's cold. I don’t think I have enough blankets. You can stay in my room tonight, but only tonight." She hoped he would stop her, but he didn’t. “Tomorrow I'm gonna set the barn for you and you can stay there. I'm gonna explain everything to mama in the morning."

[blueparadis]

❝ TIMELESS TWILIGHT ❞ + ARMIN ARLERT

CWs —» afab!reader with s!her pronouns,semi-linear plotline,  suggestive themes, royal au + supernatural au ( reader is a supernatural being ), strangers (to childhood friends) to lovers, slowburn, light angst, mention of corruption, violence and murder, temporary unrequited feelings, implicit smut descriptions,sappy romance and happy ending.

+. PLAYLIST—» moonlight ╾╼ somebody that I used to know ╾╼ rewrite the starts ╾╼ until i found you ╾╼ miel

PRECIS —» Armin was a chaser of eternity while she was a slave of it. One yearned for it, the other despised it until a thread of tragedy tied them together, forever.

+. NOTES —» this is for @dearbraus via @suyacho ’s gift exchange collab. hope you like this piece. I was confused between noé and armin but settled with the latter because this idea was originally thought for him.

I got this idea around april but finally, i could write this thanks to eden for that <3; also, this fic was partly inspired by the song moonlight by dhruv. I'm very much sleep deprived, so lemme sleep while y'all have a happy read. Merry Christmas (⁠＾⁠∇⁠＾⁠)⁠ﾉ

Special thanks to @orchid3a, @sailewhoremoon & @chosovixen for ß’reading this. also, you can read this in AO(III) ; browse more of my works through navigation links.

Museums, sculptures, libraries, books, songs, stories, poetries, paintings— all these had one thing in common: that is, they were eternal. They carried so many memories with them and yet were so defunct. And then, there are humans that live and die like flies. Ever since Armin was bestowed with the ability to walk he would only use it to go to the library or to sneak out through the back door of his room into the garden, or anywhere that does not remind him of the burden he has to carry till his last breath, the burden of protecting each and every person around him—  the burden of this whole kingdom that his father ruled.

He never asked for this life, the luxury, the fame, and the power that came with it. His father had told him that everything that the light touched belonged to him, but only one thought crossed his mind: for how long? Armin did not have to ask anyone to find the answer to that question. He saw it, he lived it. The fragility of his life. 

At that moment, when he was on the brink of destroying thousands of lives in one blow, hesitation overpowered his senses; the man kneeling in front of him, waiting for death to embrace him to save him from such shame, gutted him in the stomach. So annoying, Armin thought and slashed the head of the ruler of the kingdom. 

He was nineteen when he owned a new kingdom, a hefty crown adorned with the most lustrous jewels in the city, and the queen that was promised along with it. To his father’s disappointment, he denounced it, the kingdom, and the kingless queen. Oh no, that does not mean he did not enjoy the greater pleasures of life. He did, through and through, he is the crown prince, and anyone who denied his demands would be rendered lifeless, a mere memory just like stories, books, and sculptures.

He was desired by many, even males. Some people knelt to him to please him, while others were doomed to become an unpleasant distant memory. There was no in-between, no mercy came from the heart of the crown prince. He was not cruel, just a rageful young boy who desired things that seemed impossible to achieve, at least in this life. He envies lifeless things that do not have a lifespan. How utterly foolish!

Sometimes he would laugh at himself, thinking he had been born cursed, a little sick in the head, but his diary told otherwise. He kept it in the library, the journal with sapphire covers and his family emblem. It rested among those massive books that carried the history of great generations and his ancestors so that none, even Mikasa and Eren would not be aware of him, his truth, his true self. Half of him was amused by how all his writing mocked the rich legends that his father boasts at every royal dinner, while the other half, wept like a wounded creature for not being able to make his dreams come true. He is the crown prince, the prince yet all that power fell short of his dreams to achieve; to hold someone in his arms timelessly and to fall in love limitlessly.

Armin could think of only one name, y/n l/n. The girl who left him without finishing her stories. The girl who met him only during Twilight, smelt like forever, and looked like one of those decaying sculptures of Rome.

The Library, that place has always been a wonder to her, y/n. Books stacked beside one after the other embedded with lores and legends from all over the world. Most are sugar-coated, few are the resultant of figmentation and truth but none told the bitter truth. The poets lied, love is not a prince saving princess, love is a princess waiting for the prince for eternity; love is not sharing kisses under the starry night, love is being burnt by mere words. Love is not divine, rather it is the most wretched curse.

Ever since she discovered the existence of the library, she had been fond of how lies are woven so slyly that even the witness failed to separate the truth from fallacies. She had been the witness to how all the kings confiscated the castle, slaughtered the innocents, and had all the women as baits for bodily pleasure, but those rusted pages of the book told how the ferocious warriors, ‘envoys of justice’, ‘harbingers of peace’, or so they liked to call themselves; those warriors killed so many cruel kings and saved the people of the kingdom from their madness. Same lies, different names, different times.

Eternity was nothing like she imagined it would be. It was never a promise of happiness, but rather a promise of loneliness. Heck, even promises faded with time, yet this followed her like a shadow. Even love failed to fill the hollow space she had in her heart. She stopped believing in good but did no evil. Indeed, she had the power to rewrite history, but that could endanger her life, even if she was at the edge of death. But hope can be a dangerous thing for a girl who has lived through an aeon, and it shone miraculously on a full moon night.

There was a particular book that caught her eye. The spine was slim, with a plain sapphire spread and a logo embedded on one of its ends. She perfectly remembers that a few days ago the book was not there and a certain someone is a fool enough to keep it among the books that have all scarlet bindings. But she should not let that bother her so much. Besides, she is here to read; read about how her lover turned against her, exchanged her to get a few coppers and silvers a century ago yet died at her hands. It was tragic, of course: to watch your beloved betray your love and trust, but ecstasy gushed into her veins when she killed him by burying her fangs into his neck, absorbing the life out of him. 

At first, eternity was a boon, and now it is a bane. At first, killing was out of rage and now killing was the only way of survival. She took a few steps back from the family shelf of Tyburs, and stood in front of the Arlerts family shelf. For a minute, she let her fingers run through the books and halted at the sapphire one, which had the royal emblem of the kingdom. She took out the book, thinking it would not hurt to spare an hour or two, after all, she had all eternity.

It was a journal. The handwriting was neat and artsy. The front cover read, “my daily dose of dread.” What a child! She thought, but alas, she could not open the journal. She presumed that it was sealed with magic. And, just like the cascade, the emotions that she locked away when she buried her lover in a grave gushed in her body, through every vein, through each vein. She felt alive again.

The next day, y/n spent the whole day outside observing the humans in the town, gathering some intel. After two weeks, when night befell, she made her way where she wanted to be all this time, the library, the very palace where she loved to sneak in and read those great lies and laugh at the dead. She waited till she heard footsteps, to her surprise it was a boy of fifteen, the son of Duke Arlert. It has been almost a century since she had any human interaction. And now, a boy of fifteen with all the life ahead and innocence intact became alien to her. It thrilled her.

“Who are you?”, the boy asked with aimless, oceanic eyes that had the tragedy of the great Gatsby. She jolted, blinked and took a few steps forward, bowed down in front of the boy and whispered, “I’m the new cataloger, your highness.” And that day, a new friendship was born. Only the moon and the stars were the witness of it.

Unbelievable it seemed to her, for how Armin warmed up to her so quickly. Y/n used to wait for him during nighttime at one corner of the library till he would come to her. Gradually he learnt to use the loopholes in the rules of royal court just so he could hear stories from her, stories that were not written on any of the books, stories that talked about the origin of fairies and monsters. Some days Armin refused to go to his chambers just to hear such stories from her, some days he fell asleep in her lap while she was reading out stories to him. The very stories that he despised so much became engaging to him. He started to take interest in royal duties too.

Sometimes, Armin waited alone in that library but he never asked questions like, ‘Why do your eyes change color? How come I do not see you when I come during the day?’ He was kind to y/n, kinder than most people she had met, killed, or had to betray, but at the same time, those questions weighed heavy on her heart and died at the tip of her tongue whenever she came to visit Armin. As Armin grew up, her visits became less frequent. With all the agony and anger in him, Armin never bothered to ask why. Moreover, he didn't want to cease those pixelated visits from her, however fleeting they became, they belonged to him and only him.

On his twentieth birthday, y/n went to the main court to join the celebration, mostly at his request. Amongst so many souls you felt lifeless as if you were a sculpture. And then, you saw the boy of fifteen who has reached his peak of youth. 

Armin still has those eyes of tragedy, that would tell you nothing except stories that never ended, stories that were abandoned by their auth,or or where the author had died before finishing it. But today, those blue eyes were not blue anymore. They were gleaming in hope and yearning as he watched you walking towards him surfing through the crowd.

Armin was sitting on the throne, with his cape flowing down past his ankles with the crown that sealed many fates of varied rulers. There was a line of visitors to meet him, you were one of them, just for today. Your turn came in “Happy birthday, your highness. Congratulations on your coronation. I wish you the very best of life.”, you uttered as you handed him the gift. He smiled. With a bow, you left his sight. That was it; nothing special happened. There were no secret smiles and stolen stares. It ended so soon, happened so fast that all you felt was remorse. But you did not let that linger on your mind since you knew that, late at night, when everyone would be asleep, Armin would come to visit you. He was not a creature of the night. You were. But it turned on you that very day when you waited for him till dawn.

A girl who had eternity started counting the days. 

Four weeks and three days have passed yet Armin neither came for a visit to the library nor wrote about his days in his journal. You remembered how he told you that you should not read his journal, it’s personal, he said yet would sometimes read from that very journal, just some musings. A few days later, you could hear his name in waves and in whispers, that he conquered several kingdoms, that he won many wars, and perhaps would conquer the whole world. The entire kingdom rejoiced at his success, however, you could not. You missed him. You mourned a living person since he never wrote about such dreams in his journal. Maybe that person was long-lost, somewhere in the pages of the books that anyone no longer bothered to read.

After almost five years, Armin returned home. He had abandoned all sorts of hope to see her again. The only girl who could feel what he was thinking, the only girl who could see behind his eyes, and live in between his bedsheets. He had desired her day and night, at each passing moment, in every way a man could ever desire a woman. He remembers the feeling, the feeling that has always haunted him since childhood, people called it love while Armin could call it burning, burning with desire, yet remained lifelessly indifferent about it. True love, as they said, but Armin thought it was punishment.

He was on horseback with his sword tucked in his belt which was made of gold and silver. His mantle shrouded the armor, which had witnessed many battles and mishaps, and was embedded with rare gems and pearls carving his family emblem on the mantle spread. His blue eyes wandered everywhere, he looked every bit of regal he was. 

His own home city felt foreign to him except her, except you, who stood young and beautiful amongst several bouquets of flowers receiving smiles and coins in exchange for said flowers in broad daylight. Even after five years, you look just the same; just like how he saw you that day on a full moon night for the first time. So many things to tell you, so many things to write in his journal yet all he could do was to watch you from a distance. 

Armin dismounted from the horse, and a gust of wind swayed his hood off, revealing his blonde hair that kissed his shoulder blades. There he was, standing on the opposite side of the lane, with his right arm resting on his sword, his azure eyes locked on you while everything around you seemed to evaporate. When you shifted your gaze from the customers onto him, his lips took an upward curve and your heartbeats ceased to exist. 

The lane between the two of you was filled with people that lead their life without being aware of the tragedies evoked by two distant souls. The dusk was approaching; the crimson sun rays fell short on them, for it witnessed two polar souls burn with desire for each other. It seemed like an endless twilight where only they could exist and none other. Armin took a step forward to cross the lane while all the flowers in the shop closed their petals as if they were to witness the greatest kiss of timeless love, but alas! Tragedy befell them.

It happened within a blink. When y/n opened her eyes, she watched Armin fall to his knees with a wound near his heart. The crowd became unruly; while everyone was fleeing from the scene your feet moved on their own to save him, to stop his bleeding, to do anything, anything at all that would save his life, but before you could barely cross half of the street, your senses betrayed you. It was such a mighty fall, for both of them.

“Oh! You’re awake?”, a bold voice, ruptured your eardrums that could still hear the screams of the locals. A finger traced your face as you opened your eyes, and you saw the face that you have mourned for so long, so silently, that you failed to realize the budding love at the bottom of your heart.

“Yo-you are okay?”, you gasped, blurted out in a hurry to check his wound. It was not there anymore. What actually happened back then?

“How can I not be?”Armin stated, taking a seat near you at the edge of the bed, “What was the last thing you remember, y/n?”, his fingers found their way irrevocably in between yours.

“... that you were bleeding. Everyone was running…to save …”, Armin placed his index on your lips saying, “I was wounded before I came to see you. I wanted to see you for the last time…”, he leaned against your forehead, continuing, “... but you, you y/n saved me.”

It must have been the power of love. A voice mocked the back of your head, but then  Armin showed you a pendant; the very pendant that you gifted him on his coronation day. It was embedded with magic. It carried the untimely dead souls, people who departed before their time came. 

“This. This has been saving me every time.”, Armin smiled looking at your astonished face. 

“You knew about me? All this time?”, you asked, a little offended by the childish tantrum he pulled. 

“Of course, love.”, he reported meekly before kissing your lips that he had been dying to taste. You moaned as he advanced his way, his hands palming your face. His touch was so tender and soft that it felt as if he was afraid to touch you, what if you break again?

You looked at him as your lips whispered, “Even before you touched me, I belonged to you, Armin. All you had to do was to look at me. I was right there, with you, the whole damn time.” 

—

@tokyometronetwork

[strscrossed]

Since there’s no need to sacrifice anything, may we pls get some more nanny mikasa? I would love to see a blended family and then they have their own kids 🥹👌

absolutely! would you care for some wholesome pregnancy moments?

“Mom, sit down!” Max demanded as Mikasa tried to waddle her way to the kitchen. She sighed, smiling as she sat down on the couch. At nine months pregnant, one would’ve expected her to be tired and not want to do anything but the truth was that she was more restless than ever. The nursery was almost done but the few things left were driving her insane. 

The boys, however, wouldn’t let her do anything. And neither would her dear husband. 

Max came back with a glass of water and Leo followed behind him with a bowl of trail mix. 

“Alright, come here you two,” she motioned to them to sit next to them. The moment that they did, she pulled them closer. She was so proud of the little gentleman her boys were growing into. She saw no difference between them and the one she was carrying right now. 

“Would you guys like to feel her kick?” 

The boys couldn’t say no to that. They were always mesmerized the way their sister moved around. 

“Does it hurt, mama?” Leo asked. 

She smiled, leaning in to kiss the side of the little boy’s head. He was a sweet, empathetic boy. He hated seeing her in pain and she had to assure him that it was perfectly normal for the baby to kick. 

“No,” she said. “She’s getting impatient to come out. It shouldn’t be long now!” 

She had spent these long months hoping this pregnancy would fly by but now that she was approaching the end, she wasn’t quite ready to see it end just yet. These precious moments with the boys would be ones that she savored before her little girl got here. 

They were ecstatic about the possibility of having a little sister. They’d been very active in preparing the nursery and suggesting toys that she would like. They’d even started practicing how they would hold her when the time came. It truly melted her heart. 

She heard footsteps coming their way and saw Eren walking toward them. 

“Well, well what do we have here?” Eren asked with a smile on his face. 

“Dad!” Leo practically jumped into his father’s arms as he walked around the couch. He laughed as he carried the boy and sat down next to Mikasa. 

“Mom was getting up to do things, so we made her sit down,” Max answered matter-of-factly, pointing to water and snacks on the table. 

Eren sighed, shaking his head. 

“The boys are right, you should be resting.” 

Mikasa did her best not to roll her eyes, “I’m done resting, Eren. The baby is going to be here any day and we still haven’t finished the nursery, we haven’t cleaned the house—” 

“We can help!” Leo chimed in. 

She smiled, “Thank you, sweetie. But you should rest too, you’ve done a lot.” 

The little boy pouted. 

“He’s right, mom. Let us help you,” Max moved closer. At 9 years old, he looked uncannily like his father. Except he was a little more serious, responsible, and didn’t drive her insane from time to time. 

“What would I ever do without my three boys?” she questioned and the three of them responded by moving closer to her.

Eren’s hand was warm against her belly. And, as always, she felt a small foot kick against the walls of her stomach at her father’s touch. The way Eren’s face lit up whenever she did that. 

“Do you want to feel Emi kick?” she asked the boys and they both nodded. Just as she had done with her father, she kicked in response to her brothers. 

“Hi baby,” Leo said to her stomach. ‘I’m your big brother. You can come to me with anything!” 

“Hi Emi,” Max said a little more sheepishly. “I’m your big brother too. I love you.” 

Mikasa’s heart melted and her eyes welled up with tears. She was lucky. What had she done in her life to deserve this? 

“And I’m your daddy. You know my voice, don’t you?” Eren had shifted positions so that his cheek was pressed against her belly. He looked up at her and Mikasa would never get used to the amount of love in his eyes. 

Any day now and her little girl would be here. And she would be born into so much love and care. Mikasa couldn’t wait.

[ja3gerb0mbb]

bloodsucker chapter 6: family ties

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

word count: 2.2k

content warnings: descriptions of blood and feeding

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

eren’s pov:

i ascended the basement stairs with urgency, rubbing the temple on the right side of my head. the blood awakened my hunger; i have to get out of here. 

i barely registered the cold air wrapping about my body. barely registered jean calling after me. the world went numb around me; blurry vision, muffled hearing. my nose fed me my surroundings; desperately trying to find more blood. and it did.

whipping my body around, i spot jean, “dude what the fuck!” his shout drags my other senses back to the surface. my fill wasn’t met, but i could focus again. my attention didn’t stay on him for long; choosing to focus on the ring coming from my phone. the number calling had no contact, but i knew who it was. fuck me. i groaned at the call, shutting my eyes to try and escape reality. another ping forced my eyes to open. 

562-xxx-xxxx:

shiganshina. now.

“-ou even listening?” looking back up at jean, he’s even more frustrated than before. he walked a few paces closer, but he was smart enough to keep his distance. “no,” i deadpan, “but i have to go. now,” i tried to explain the urgency with my tone but his expression showed he didn’t understand. jean never did. 

“you can’t seriously be leaving again,” jean chastised me. i didn’t know what to say to him. even in the dark; his furious demeanor burned. his fists clenched. hard.  i could hear the rub of his skin from my place on the gravel pathway. “what’s the point of coming back,” he had a harder time disguising the hurt. his tone wavered, and and his face twisted in anguish. his features contorted together, teeth baring. 

“it’s zeke” his eyes blew wide at the mention of his name. i could see the past reflecting within them. memories flash across my own mind. it would forever be the first memory i think of when his name echos in my skull. i hated it. “i can’t ignore him. you know better than anyone,” i didn’t want to bring it up. i really didn’t, but jean just had to let me go. 

he shook his head, “i can’t believe this is happening again.” his hands raised, beginning to cover his ears. his features held agony; everything scrunched up and furrowed. i walked the distance between us, “jean,” i said, lightly removing his hands. “it won’t be long. last time was different,” i tried to hide the shiver that came down my spine at the thought. 

i held my hand out; palm open. jean didn’t hesitate to grip it, pulling me in for a half hug. “better not be,” he scoffed; bravado returning to his tone. i knew my absence hurt him the worst out of everyone. i could say it over and over, but he wouldn’t understand how little choice i have in everything. he was still missing most of the pieces. “just-” i sighed, lightly shaking my head, “tell mikasa and armin not to worry. i can’t leave them hanging. not again,” it was my turn to clench my fists at the reminder of the memory. 

‘armin and mikasa really hurt when you weren’t here,’  her voice taunted me inside my head; reverberating through my skull. my hand lifted to my temples, trying to massage it out. 

“everyone else?” jean asked; but her name hung in the air. “they’ll be fine,” my voice pulled with tension. “say i went to refill our alc supply,” and with that i turned, not bearing to look at jean anymore. why’d he always have to make leaving so hard? dumbass. 

i knew it wasn’t jean’s fault. i wouldn’t have to leave again if i just stayed in shiganshina. i shouldn’t have come back, that was the truth. my absence would be easier for everyone to deal with if it was permanent. y/n above everyone. she had no clue how long i’ve stayed away; i should’ve kept trying. i believed i could live like i had before; but i was wrong. every day i seemed to slip further and further away from the reality of my life. in my time at jean’s lakehouse, i seemed to forget it intrely. what i am. 

it made me weak. being around my friends again; around her, it drew out everything i had been trying to spuress for the past year. and i was about to pay the price for it. i shouldn’t have even gone back. i continued to repeat it, mentally kicking myself.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“ah, baby brother! welcome back!” zeke’s voice boomed throughout the entryway. controlling my features; i fixed any lingering emotion. setting my eyes back to the steel they were before i left for sina. i didn’t respond; i didn’t need to. zeke was the doormat to what i actually answered to. he laughed at my reaction. “well don’t you look like shit. not enough fodder at your little campus?”

his smile was wicked, teeth stained red from the fresh feed. “zelda!” he summoned. turning the corner was a blonde with her breasts exposed. the thong on her lower half barely covered her there, either. i fought the urge to look away, just play your part, and then you can leave. “come on, ere, indulge!” his eyes became slits and they darkened at the mere thought of blood. 

i picked up the blade on the entryway table. the woman stalked over to me, moving her hair to expose her mangled neck. three fresh cuts line her neck. she can’t lose any more blood, i shoved the panic deep down; remaining cold on the outside, “this ones drained.”

the woman stood still before me, awaiting zeke's response. none came, he simply motioned to her neck; telling me i had no other option. him and his stupid tests. i pushed the blade into her neck, making a fourth cut. it wasn’t as deep as the others, but with how little blood she had left, it didn’t matter anyway. i sunk my mouth onto her neck, careful not to scrape my now present fangs into her flesh. 

energy shot through my body as soon as the blood hit my mouth. i gripped tighter, uncontrolled in my actions. the woman responded by arching her back, moaning into me. the sound repulsed me so much i was tempted to pull away. but zeke’s impending disapproval kept my mouth trained on her neck, sucking up the little blood she had. 

a few moments later, i had my fill, vision becoming clear again after raising my head up. i tossed the girl aside in a fashion zeke could only be proud of and his smile proved me right. “don’t you feel so much better?” he taunted. 

i rolled my eyes to distract zeke from any composure that might’ve slipped. “dad wants to see me?” i assumed; he always does. he kept quiet, leading me away toward the office. the wooden doors opened before us, hauled by two more exposed women. i kept my eyes on grisha; not daring to look at the smashed picture of mom i knew was to my left. 

“how’s school, boy,” his voice was just like zeke’s. they spoke like they had any emotions left. it’s what pulled people in, alluring them. but not me. i knew better than to fall for it; i spent an entire year learning how vicious they really were. “good,” i kept it vague. 

“he’s starving over there,” zeke cut in. fucker. i kept my face still, not letting the twitch of anger anywhere near my features. grisha looked at me expectantly. “i can’t have naked women strolling around everywhere.” i phrased it more of a question, challenging their authority. my eyes were dead set on grisha. any slight waver would be a sign of weakness, prolonging my stay here. that couldn’t happen, i was determined. 

grisha laughed coldly, holding my gaze, “i guess you can’t.” he sighed, loudly and dramatically. “i remember my own college days, but i was still human,” a smile tugged on his lips; i knew he was tempting a rise out of me. “it’s where i met your mother,” another sigh. don’t feed into it. dont. dont dont. dont. holding my breath, my muscles tightened with the natural instinct to fight back. they almost buckled at the mention of mom, but i was stronger than i was a year ago. 

he was visibly displeased at my non-reaction. “well, that’s all! scurry back to town little vampire,” grisha’s eyes became black in hunger. one of the veins walked to him, spreading their legs to straddle him. i turned to face the door again, clenching my fist in an attempt to bury back a cringe to the word. vampire. but he didn’t say it to anger me; it was to remind me. 

zeke walked close behind, as if i was on a leash. i swiftly made my way back to the entryway. about to turn the knob to freedom, zeke spoke, “maybe i’ll pay you a visit next time. such a long drive for you.” ignoring him, i didn’t even turn to look at his face. the threat hung loudly between us. 

walking out, i took a deep breath of the outside air. it relinquished the thick smell of blood this house was stained with. it was still dark out. time moved differently in that house. it felt like i spent days there, but it couldn’t have been more than half an hour. 

on the way to the car, my mind became clearer; remembering the life i pushed to the corners of my mind before coming here. right. what was i going to do about that? i asked myself; remembering the thick scent around y/n. 

blood wasn’t all that my sense of smell was sensitive to. it was emotion. happiness, sadness, anger, it all courses through their blood. it’s difficult to pick up on; unless the feeling is strong enough. then, it radiates off that person; prickling my nose and overwhelming the temptation of blood. the scent y/n carried was full of malice. it wasn’t from her; but it was strong enough to stay on her clothes. 

it faded entirely at the lakehouse. if i wasn’t certain who i had to go after before, i was now. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

looking out my apartment window, i leaned on the sill. the pink and orange clouds in the sky were turning to blue; signaling the start of a new day. my body was exhausted, despite being freshly fed. my skin and face were fuller as a result of someone else's blood flowing through my body. nasty, i cringed, thinking about it too much. 

i knew there was a call i had to make. sighing, i picked up my phone to dial jean. he picked up almost immediately, just after a few rings. jean stayed silent; waiting for me to break the silene, “i’m back at my apartment.”

“tch,” i knew he was shaking his head over the phone. “i’ll come by later,” he answered my unsaid question that hung between us. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

it was evening when he arrived; still smelling like cedar wood and fire. the scent triggered memories from the days before. i yearned to go back; to live a normal life with them. but it was far from possible. i had to stop pretending i was still one of them. 

jean looked around the apartment; assessing how it might’ve been different from his last visit a few weeks ago. his eyes were relieved i was actually here, but his demeanor changed quickly. he drew his features in, disappointed almost. “y/n’s her, huh” he said. he didn’t need to ask it; he already knew. i’m surprised it took him so long to figure it out. 

“yeah,” i looked away from his gaze. “dumbass! why would you get involved with her!” he shouted, exuberant. but he wasn’t angry, just surprised? he shook his head at his comment. 

i scoffed, “it’s hard not to when she’s cozy with you. it couldn’t be avoided.” looking back at him, his eyes had gone dark. like my comment made him feel responsible for the situation. he sighed, making his way to the couch and sitting in the same spot she had just a few days before, “i wish you told me.” he shot me a glare that scrutinized me. he was talking about more than just y/n now. 

rubbing his hands against his forehead he spoke, “i think she knows something’s up. she looked like you did more than just reject her this morning.” he got back up quickly. he was too stressed to stay in one spot for too long. he carried himself over to where i was by the windows; looking out. 

“figures,” i sighed, but i wasn’t surprised to hear it. the way she looked at me- she was terrified at the inhuman sight before her in that closet. just fix this one thing. and then you can cut yourself out of her life. “fuck,” i muttered under my breath. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

spotify playlist

[eaeulfl]

Spoiler for those who haven’t finished season 3

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I don’t care what anyone says erwin should’ve lived

I haven’t been able to see the show the same way after his death

The plot armor is crazy. And I’m saying this as someone who actually likes armin. He even used to be my number 1 back in season 1, but the plot really did the both of them dirty

It’s as hange explained. Armin is exceptional, but so was erwin. The difference is erwin also had the leadership and the experience. People who say armin was the correct choice because of his potential fail to mention that despite all of his gambles erwin managed to stay alive for much longer and it was also during a time when they knew practically nothing about the titans. We also got to see more of armin because he’s one of the main characters alongside eren and mikasa, so all of Erwin’s past achievements weren’t really highlighted the way Armin’s were. Almost everything that eren mentioned - being able to seal the hole of trost, discovering Annie’s identity, traveling during the night, defeating reiner, are all inaccurate. Was armin part of all of these, yes, but he wasn’t the sole or even the key reason these were achieved, which was what he made it sound like. If it weren’t for Pyxis they would’ve had no chance to begin with back in trost, had Pyxis not arrived in time they would’ve been blasted. With Annie it just so happened with the plot that they were in the same year/class together. I imagine with Erwin’s brains he would’ve figured it out as well. And correct me if I’m wrong but traveling during the night was first and foremost established through hange’s experiments, and I might be remembering this wrong but didn’t they have training through the snow as well for this purpose because in snowy weather there wouldn’t be sun? It’s not rocket science, if titans usually only move when the sun’s out the plan to move during the night is pretty obvious. Defeating Reiner was largely also thanks to the thunder spears that hange introduced to them. The only things that armin really came up with on his own are finding out where Reiner was hiding and distracting bertholdt while eren was sealing the wall and then for eren to go for his neck at the end of it. Let’s also not forget that while armin was panicking jean reminded him of why they shouldn’t lure bertholdt to the wall at the time, and then afterwards armin asked if jean could take over. I understand eren and mikasa are fifteen years old during this time, but it doesn’t change the fact that they were being very selfish and irrational.

I’m not denying that armin is very smart, but he really isn’t the only smart person in the series and imo isn’t the smartest or the wisest either. One of the most iconic moments of season 1 for me personally was at the end of it when jean and armin were conversing. Jean asks a question armin wasn’t able to answer, and this shows that armin with all his reasoning and intellect has his weak points too when it comes to logic and even morality imo. On the other hand if we’re talking about potential as a leader I also see jean as a better fit. Armin is more of a strategist that is good for behind the scenes action. He doesn’t shine as much in an actual battlefield imo. His good qualities have been blown a little out of proportion because of plot armor. I currently like him even more than I like eren or mikasa but this is the hill I will die on.

If we’re talking about dreams, I also believe it’s faulty logic to say erwin would’ve lost all of his motivation after reaching the basement and that that is why armin was the right choice, because, according to eren, he has “dreams”. Everyone has dreams. Everyone has different motivations. Erwin said he wouldn’t know what he would do next after reaching the basement, that doesn’t mean his dream of finding out the truth is somehow inferior to armin’s dream of seeing the sea??? It simply means he doesn’t know what’s going to happen, which is fair. Erwin’s dream was selfish but so was armin’s. People argue erwin had to sacrifice and manipulate so many people just to achieve his own dream but they don’t mention that without the same sacrifices there’s no way armin would’ve been able to see the sea either. The difference here is that erwin did something about it. And let’s not pretend erwin never did anything for humanity either because in all of his selfishness he still did. Let’s also not pretend armin never did anything questionable. He said it himself, sometimes you have to give up some of your humanity, and he did at times - manipulating Annie, Reiner, and bertholdt. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have done these things, but were they questionable in terms of morality? I do think so. Especially going back to the conversation between jean and armin at the end of season 1, it is implied that armin would be willing to let eren become a monster if it meant saving the rest of humanity. Regardless of whether or not it’s the right thing to do, it certainly seems questionable imo.

The only thing I can sort of accept is Levi’s logic. He chose erwin by letting him die, because it was time for him to rest. In Levi’s mind erwin had done enough. Erwin was selfish but he wasn’t without empathy or guilt. But the key words here are “sort of”. Levi did it to preserve Erwin’s humanity but objectively it still wasn’t the right choice. I understand it and can “sort of” accept it but I still don’t agree with it. Ultimately it was also a selfish decision. A little less selfish than eren’s and mikasa’s, but still selfish all the same.

Just to be clear this isn’t a hate post directed towards armin or whoever else. Armin didn’t deserve to bear the weight of Erwin’s death and etc., and Erwin didn’t deserve to die that way. It was just a really crappy situation. But with all things considered I still believe erwin should’ve lived. I like the both of them but erwin was the obvious choice for me, and I feel like this thought will be very hard to overturn but I’d be happy to be proven wrong since I’m not done with watching the series.

[roguephoenix85]

Final chapter - is Ymir badly written or is it something else? (spoiler for the end of SNK)

TW: mentions of child abuse, sexual abuse 

So I’ve seen a few people confused, upset, and a little angry about the explanation for Ymir “loving” Fritz as the reason why things were as they were, and claiming it’s bad writing and rushed and what have you. I don’t claim to know all the nuances and in and outs of long form storytelling such as Attack on Titan, but I do know some things about being a victim of brainwashing, abuse, and defending the people who abused me. Some are saying it’s Stockholm syndrome, and while I don’t necessarily disagree, it’s a bit more nuanced than that. Because I did everything I could to get away from my family that hurt and abused me, but I still kept them in my life for some inexplicable reason, year after year, involving them in it and divulging information to them that they would use to harm me psychologically and mentally for their amusement and sense of power and superiority. Why? Everyone outside of my family who observed it could see that they were shitty and awful and I didn’t need them. But after 30 years of being told I’m incompetent, no one loves me like they would, I can’t take care of my life responsibly like an adult would, and that I’ll never have enough money to live unless they helped (and the condition of their help was to give them control over my care - they picked doctors, therapists, everyone, that would give them the diagnoses they wanted so it would be an easier case to be declared legally incompetent and have my mother control my financial and housing freedom), I had internalized it to such a degree that I truly believed those things about myself. My depression and suicidal thinking sprung from the conflict that this treatment wasn’t right vs. but they’re your family and they love you so they MUST be right, you MUST be an evil child to be controlled, and YOU’RE the problem. When that is all you know, you think that it’s love. Because the love you receive is conditional upon subservience.

Ymir wanted love and the only “love” was from the king once she acquired power. As much as she wanted the love she observed the only love available was manipulative and abusive. If you’ve never known actual unconditional love, you’ll take anything that you’re given.  That’s why I was raped. That’s why I was molested. That’s why I allowed myself to compromise myself to stay with people who only sought to use and manipulate me for their own ends.

Because there was none around me. And when you’re terrified of death and attached to the world, wanting and hoping that someday something good will finally happen, you latch on to people, ideas, objects that end up doing more harm than good to you, because all you know is that abuse is what love is. Mistreatment is the norm. But inside, you know it’s not right. Something doesn’t feel right. So you hope. You pick the first person who gives you any value, even if it’s your value to them and not your own inherent value you’ve found for yourself. You never truly live for yourself. You’re living so that others will give you your value. Because when you did do things for yourself - you’re ridiculed. You’re betrayed. You’re humiliated and abused more. You’re kicked so much that you go back, again, and again, because the humiliation is worse than just letting them do what they want to you. That’s what happened to Ymir. The one time she did something she wasn’t “supposed to”, what happened? She got hunted and almost murdered. And when she found that power, she had value to her oppressor. Her tribe betrayed her to save themselves. This “king” tried to have her killed. But she found power. And once she had power, her abusers sought to capitalize on it. She had no one. So when you gain power and all of a sudden you have value to someone? You latch on. Because now you’re important. Now you’ve elevated yourself. But that value isn’t something for YOU. It’s something that is for the benefit of someone who only values you when you’re doing something for them.

I’ve noticed a lot of “I don’t get why Ymir would love the king, that’s bad storytelling”. My mother is a sociopath and allowed my molestation when I was a child because “everyone else went through worse and you’re a nasty little girl” - to a nine year old. She schemed to take my inheritance away from me. When my visitation with my father was over for the weekend, she would abuse and manipulate me for three days after every visit to “get me back to where I needed to be.” I would be choked, slapped, hit, have my room ransacked and destroyed if I didn’t comply with her wishes. When I wanted to kill myself because I found no solace with friends, teachers, therapists (that my mother sought out and paid for because she wanted someone to declare me incompetent or bipolar so she could take away my legal rights and exert control over every aspect of my life), neighbors, no one, even my own stepfather told me I was stupid for wanting to kill myself and that I’m ungrateful for everything. I would later discover this man was a heroin addict for longer than I had even been alive and that the only reason my mother stayed with him was because he had a large inheritance that would come to him and she could easily have his power of attorney taken away from him and control him because hey, he’s a drug addict and can’t be trusted. Better to let her take care of it all, right?

And even after all of this, I loved her. Well, I used to. I would keep wanting her love and respect because to give it up meant I had no value to anyone. The two significant others that I did have didn’t really love me, my last one was also a sociopath who convinced me to snort adderall, take hallucinogens, and stole my car to commit sexual assault against a mutual friend who had been assaulted not even 6 hours prior by someone else. When all you know is abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and harming yourself to get a modicum of dignity and respect and love, of COURSE you stay. Because no one else loves you, right? You’re worthless and stupid and have no value except to me. I’m the only one who can love you. I’m the only one who can use you properly. Just do what I say and what I want and don’t complain or worse will happen to you. Families don’t do this to each other, you’re just mad that I’m better than you. Choices are hard, let me make them for you because clearly you can’t handle the “real world.”

When you are told these things and unduly punished for pushing back against it, of COURSE you think it’s love. Because no one is giving it to you otherwise. They isolate you, triangulate you so you HAVE to go back to them. And you do it. Because there’s nothing else around you showing you otherwise. It’s only when you share the story with others, or view it through the lens of someone else, that you understand how fucked it truly is. Under the under, Ymir is a child. She’s a child who wants to be loved. And all she’s known is manipulation and abuse. For thousands of years, because each “founder” was just her original abuser in a new body. Like Zeke. 

Until Eren. Who saw her story, and instead of using her, validated her. Saw her experiences through an objective lens and said ENOUGH OF THIS. This is WRONG. It’s SICK. And it won’t end unless I do this. Until I give her the choice to break free. All it takes is one person to listen to you and hear you and your world is changed. But she never appeared as she did when she died. She was still a hurt child beholden to her abusers. And in this instance, the only thing that could make it stop is destroying it completely. 

Is genocide wrong? Yes. Is scapegoating an entire race of people in the name of world unity wrong? Yes.  Is using children for war and power and brainwashing them wrong? Yes. This world is cruel. It always was. That’s been the thesis of this story from day one. But. It’s also beautiful. But you have to allow that beauty in. You have to show it to people. Ymir wasn’t able to see any of it until it was far too late, but not from her own conscious choice. She’s just a child who wants to be loved and only found manipulation. And was scared of “death” because that meant there was no love in the world. None for her. Her existence was to be used and fucked to death metaphorically. And when that’s the only love you’re given and told to expect, you hold on to it and believe there’s nothing better.

Until someone or something objective comes along, hears your pain, shares it, validates it, and then tells you it’s fucked up that that’s how you were forced to live. When everything you’ve known is a fucking lie, you do want to scorch the earth somewhat. All these people that could have helped you and they said fuck you, I’ll use you too. Standing up to your abuser is scary. I’m currently suing my mother now, and I’ve been terrified of her retaliation even though I’m 35. Because she has money and people she can manipulate into harassing me on her behalf. Even though I’ve taken as many precautions as I can, there’s still things she can do - ensure I get none of my inheritance, destroy my childhood memories, slander me publicly, fly out to where I live and stalk me or have others stalk me, or find people loyal to her to assert that I should be declared incompetent because of my autism, even though I have my own doctors I see now who disagree with that sentiment. It’s scary, but it’s right. But I’m also an adult now, and when I realized that my stepfather was telling everyone in the family that when he was high on ketamine I convinced him to murder my birth father, and that it was MY IDEA, and that my mother lied about reporting my sexual abuse to DHS because she wanted to protect her brother, his kid that abused me, and their family over me, and also had me lie about my birth father abusing me by convincing me “Oh it was so traumatic you can’t remember” so she could get custody of me just because she hated him, I finally said enough. But I didn’t have an Eren to help me make that decision. Or a Mikasa to do what needed to be done.

Ymir is still just a child mentally. Separation from that, especially when you’re a child and have no other allies in the world and you’re told worse could happen to you if you separate from your abusers, is difficult. And sometimes nonsensical. I know a lot of people were confused as to why I would still try to involve my mother in my life after the insanely fucked up shit she would do. But you don’t know any better when you’re the target. My reasoning is that I’m an adult now and I have a life of my own I’ve built despite her. Ymir didn’t have, or didn’t understand, that choice. So she stayed. Asking for breadcrumbs of love and respect and dignity from lesser beings. To quote Chelsea Hart “You want to be worshipped by a goddess without having to be a god.” She had the power, and she didn’t know what to do because she was a child. So she gave away her power. And by then it was too late to be properly reasoned with. The only way to stop it was to destroy all of it. Because when you’re a child you don’t have the benefit of retrospect. You have a limited view of the world because you’re a child. You’ve been sheltered and told manipulative bullshit to keep you down, so breaking free is the radical thing. And when you’re a child, you don’t know moderation. You’re impulsive and your emotional intelligence is limited. So of course the rumbling is the result. But you also think you still love your abuser. Because that’s all you know truly, and when you don’t see it until it’s too late, this is the result. It’s tragic, but Isayama never said this was a happy story. And considering how he WAS going to end it, giving who remains another chance at life and evening the playing field by having Paradis’ army now be comparable to the opposition army, and having the curse of the Titans eliminated from the world, that’s a pretty good ending for them.

I mean, isn’t that what Eren’s goal was since he was a child? To eliminate the Titans from the Earth? I’d say that mission is fully accomplished now.

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)

SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.

Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader

A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3

TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior

WC: 2.5k

It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.

It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.

Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.

He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.

Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.

You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.

Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.

Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.

Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.

No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.

There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.

Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.

You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.

He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.

He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.

Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.

On the third day, you're declared missing.

Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.

Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.

Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).

But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.

Where did his favorite stress-ball go?

It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).

Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?

The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?

Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?

Yes, that's me.

How do you know ___?

We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.

When was the last time you saw her?

Friday night at Floch's party-

-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.

Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.

You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.

[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.

I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.

You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.

But you guys were close once right?

Yeah. Once.

The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”

Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.

At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.

Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.

And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.

There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.

Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.

The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.

He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.

"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.

"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.

You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.

He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.

He hates the sound of his own voice.

Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.

Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.

He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.

Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.

The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."

"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."

"Get out."

"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"

SMASH

The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.

She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.

It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.

Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.

Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.

He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.

His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.

He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.

"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"

The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.

"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."

He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.

It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.

His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.

His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.

There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?

He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.

The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.

The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.

He turns the knob.

And Eren Yeager completely shatters.

Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.

He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.

There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.

"Hey, are you all right?"

Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.

You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"

[yaegercockwhore]

Forget About Him - Eren Yeager Smut

this was originally posted to my ao3, check it out there!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/36490270 enjoy <3 not proofread!

-> After your ex Armin dumps you, you go to your friends Mikasa and Sasha for comfort. Lucky for your heartbroken self, Mikasa's brother, Eren, knows just how to make you forget your ex... fucking you until you only think of him.

"I-I'm sorry... I just can't do this anymore," Armin gulped. "I'm just not happy."

With that, your whole life came crashing down around you. A relationship of two years, gone. You were devastated, to say the least. He had moved away to pursue a marketing degree, and left you behind. You wondered often what you did wrong, and struggled to keep thoughts of him out of your brain.

"You need to move on," Your friend, Mikasa, told you. "Armin is a piece of shit. Just accept it." The issue, though, was that Armin wasn't a piece of shit. He was smart, responsible, accomplished, and attractive. He was so put-together, he had everything set in life. To you, he represented stability, just how you liked.

"Armin is not that bad." You tried to argue, but felt a hand on your ear.

"Girl, he broke up with you out of nowhere to go fuck around at college," Exclaimed a loud voice. "Fuck that man!" You sighed, looking over where the voice came from. Sasha, who sat between you and Mikasa, held a pillow in her hands as if she was ready to attack. You couldn't help but to laugh--you loved your friends so much...and, they were right. You needed to get Armin out of your head, but how would you possibly go about that? What could distract you from thin-

"Can you guys shut up?" You turned around to see Mikasa's brother, Eren standing in the stairway of the basement. You had never really met him before, as he had only recently gotten home from a long trip in Marley. His family had adopted Mikasa, but when his parents split, Mikasa stayed with their mother, Carla, and Eren split time between the two parents, usually favouring his Dad's home.

"How about you shut up, we're dealing with bigger problems!" Sasha retorted, not afraid to talk back to the tall man.

"Oh yeah?" Eren scoffed, coming down the stairs to walk towards the circle. "And what could those be?" His aura certainly intimidated you, his piercing green eyes still bright despite his sleepiness. You couldn't help but watch the way his sweats hung around his hips, or the way his white t-shirt was just a little bit see through. His hair was up in a messy bun, and you wondered what it would look like down. You were snapped out of your staring when Mikasa explained the "Armin situation" to Eren.

"Oh, is that so? What a real dickhead," The man answered, sitting down in the circle. "You okay, princess?" Though slightly taken aback by the random petname, you went to nod but felt tears welling up in your eyes.

"Eren! You made her cry!" Sasha pointed out, rushing to your side.

"No, no, it's not Eren, I just wish I could forget Armin even existed," You explained, wiping your tears. "I'm okay though, I promise."

"You better be telling the truth, because Mikasa and I both have class soon!" Sasha explained. They, unlike Armin, both went to college locally--something you largely appreciated.

"I am, I am! You guys go learn, get your education! I'm enjoying my gap year," You explained. "Seeing you guys working so hard makes me never wanna go to college."

Sasha and Mikasa bid their farewells and walked to class together, leaving you alone with Eren. You often stayed at the Yeager house while you waited for Mikasa to get back from class, enjoying Carla's company. However, even she was out today, leaving you and Eren to your own devices.

"So you taking a gap year?" Eren asked. You nodded and explained to Eren that you had chosen to take a year off after high school to make some money, and honestly due to the whole Armin thing, you were regretting it.

"It feels like everyone else is moving on in life and I'm stuck behind," You told him. "It gets a bit lonely seeing everyone else going to classes and moving away, and I'm just... here. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one dumb enough to not go for college right away."

"Hey, I'm not dumb, and neither are you," Eren playfully retorted. "I'm taking a year off right now, too." You were surprised, since he had just come back from an exchange program in Marley for his last year of high school. Mikasa had mentioned once that that was where his dad was from, and he was trying to understand the culture.

"Really? Then I guess that doesn't make me as lonely as I thought." You said, wiping a tear from earlier. Eren noticied this and got up, stretching a hand out to you which you took without even thinking.

"Why don't we go watch a movie in my room, let's cheer you up as you wait for Mikasa and... Sasha, right? I don't remember..." You giggled as he helped you up, nodding to give him indication that his guess was correct for Sasha's name.

Eren led you into his room, seating you on the bed. You'd never been inside of it before, despite seeing the rest of the house. The walls were painted a dark green and it smelled of pine and sandalwood. It was refreshing and comforting.

"Feel free to lay down," Eren invited, laying down himself. "What do you wanna watch?"

"Hmm, I like action movies, especially the ones about that one guy, he's really cool!" You eagerly explained.

"Levi Ackerman? Yeah, he's really good. Let's watch this one," Eren agreed. He clicked on it and you got comfy, your head on his pillow. The movie began and Eren brought out a bag of M&Ms, offering them to you. You took a few and Eren couldn't help but to notice the goosebumps on your arm. "You know, if you're cold you can get under the blankets, I don't mind."

You wanted to refuse, but honestly, it was freezing. Your cheeks reddened a bit as Eren pulled the blankets back for you, allowing you to get under. You wondered how you ended up in the bed of your best friend's brother, but you didn't mind. Wasn't it because you were sad about-

"Armin," Eren suddenly spoke up. "When did you guys break up?"

"4 months ago, and I'm still sad over it," You laughed at yourself. "Pathetic, huh? I just can't get him out of my head." You shook your head, feeling dejected and wanting to cry just thinking about it.

"I think you just need to get with someone else," Eren replied seriously. "Someone not like Armin at all." You turned to look at Eren, and went to reply until your attention was suddenly grabbed.

The characters on screen suddenly began moaning loudly... it was a sex scene. Your face became red and the air in the room became thick. The scene on TV was... rough, to say the least. You and Armin were never like that, ever. You wondered how that would feel...

"Want me to turn it off?" Eren inquired, intrigued by your fascination.

"N-No! I like it!"

"Oh, you like this sort of thing?" Eren asked, a smirk plastered on his pretty face. "I didn't take you for a dirty girl."

"Well, no, I-I've never done it, so I don't know if I..." You trailed off, embarrassed. You felt like you might just melt into a puddle, which just made you aware of the actual puddle between your legs. You served nothing but to increase your own embarassment.

"You're a virgin?" Eren asked, watching you squirm in his bed.

"No, I just meant not like that..." You gestured to the TV where the woman was getting degraded and fucked doggy style.

"I see, I see," Eren nodded pulling the covers down. "Armin didn't please you right, did he?" You didn't dare say another word, watching as Eren kneeled beside you. When you didn't respond, he took it into his own hands. "Do you want to forget about Armin?"

"Yes, I really wanna," You answered, grasping what Eren was getting at. "Can you help me?"

"Oh, princess, you won't remember anything except my name once we're done here," Eren's hands found their way to the bottom of your shirt, pulling it off. "Fuck, the first time I ever saw you, I thought you were hot as fuck. A few years have passed, and look at you now."

Eren leaned in to kiss you, one hand beside your head and the other finding it's way to your bra. He struggled a bit to undo the clasp with one hand, chuckling against your lips. You felt your heart flutter as your bra came undone, Eren pulling back to take it off of you, tossing it across his room. His eyes devoured your tits and you could've sworn the lust in his eyes was thick enough to drown in as his fingers found your nipples, watching you squirm under him.

"You've never been touched here, have you?" He asked, amused at you shaking your head as little mewls fell from your lips. "I could tell, so sensitive."

"Eren, be rough with me," You told him. "Do what you want to me. Treat me worse than in the movie..."

"You sure that's what you want, Princess? I don't wanna get carried away and hurt you," Eren suddenly began to touch you as if you might break. "I'll treat you the way you want, but if you want me to stop or tone it down, just say the word..." He thought for a second before a devilish grin appeared on his face. "Armin. That's our safe word, pretty girl."

With but a nod of your head, suddenly you were completely naked and Eren's lips were attached to your neck. His hand fell between your thighs, parting your legs like the sea. His fingers found your clit, slowly rubbing circles into it. He pulled his lips away, seemingly pleased with the hickey he left. His free hand reached to his dresser table, your eyes screwed shut with pleasure.

"Eren!" You yelped, feeling something cold on your hot nipple. You looked down to see Eren rubbing an ice cube on you, his other hand still pleasing your clit. Your eyes rolled back, the ice moving to your other nipple. He bent down and licked the melted ice from your breasts, his dick rock hard in his sweats. He moved the ice cube down your body, making you shiver. Once it finally reached your clit, he began to use it instead of his fingers. He bent down to kiss your ear, giving it a little bit and smiling at the way you shivered again.

"Look at what a slut you are," He whispered in your ears. "I'm the only one who's ever made you feel like this, you know that? And just look at you. The ice isn't the only thing melting under my touch, is it?" He leaned back, tilting your chin down so you'd make eye contact with him as he slowly slid his fingers into you.

"Feels so good..." You moaned, reaching out to grab onto something. Your fingers found his bun, pulling the elastic out of his hair. "Handsome..." You mumbled, smiling through your moans. You could've swore his cheeks adopted a bit of a blush. His fingers curled inside you, finding your g-spot and sending you straight to heaven.

"That's a good girl, cum for me, call out my name," Eren encouraged, helping you ride out you your high. "I wanna know who it is that's making you feel good." You screamed his name as you came around his fingers, whining as he pulled the ice away from your clit. You watched, catching your breath as he tossed the ice into his mouth. He leaned down and pulled your chin down, slipping the small piece of ice that was left into your mouth. It melted on your tongue quickly, making Eren shiver this time.

"More, harder, more...please.." You begged, pulling on Eren's waistband.

"You just came and you already want more?" Eren asked. "God, you're such a pathetic little slut. Wanna be made into my cockwhore?" You nodded eagerly, watching in anticipation as Eren pulled his shirt off. You were captivated by his perfect body, almost swearing you drooled a bit. He pulled his sweats and boxers down, his angry red cock springing out. "Want this inside of you, inside of your pretty cunt?"

Eren flipped you over, just like the couple was like in the movie. He delivered a harsh slap to your ass, kissing between your shoulder blades as he pressed his tip against your slit. As he pushed in, he slid a pillow under your stomach so you could feel as good as possible. He let out a low groan, when he pushed all the way in. With no warning, he grabbed a fistful of your hair, using it as leverage to fuck you harder than you'd ever been fucked. You were screaming his name as your tits bounced harshly, your cervix being abused. The pain was intoxicating, the noises of your wet cunt and skin slapping sounding like a background track to the harmony of moans.

"Good fucking girl for me," Eren praised, slapping your ass hard enough to leave a hand print. "Fucked like she deserves, behaves so good." You felt like screaming, your senses in overdrive. The rhythm of him fucking you, his hands in a tight grip on your hips, bringing you back to meet him, it was all too much. The way you were clenching around Eren was going to drive him insane.

"Gonna cum soon... You warned between moans. Eren pulled you up by your hair, making you kneel and grabbing your arms and holding them behind you as he fucked up into you hard and fast, loving the way your tits looked and your moans sounded. He thought you were so pretty, but knew just how to make you even prettier...

With his verbal encouragement, you came hard on his cock with a loud scream. Once you were done, Eren pulled out, flipping you onto your back. His hand met his cock and he jerked himself off feverishly, his hand stuttering before he came. His cum was hot and thick on your tits, and Eren swore he could've cum again when you took your finger and sampled a taste.

Eren got up, gently wiping you off with an old shirt of his, kissing your forehead. He dressed you in his clothes, worried the ones you wore earlier wouldn't be comfy enough for you. He quickly ran to get some things for you, including ice for the hickey and your ass. He gave you nice, cold water and the M&Ms as he got dressed, getting back under the covers to hold you close.

"Are you okay? Did I go too rough?" He asked nervously, brushing your hair out of your face. You shook your head, making him smile.

"I actually liked that... a lot. I needed that, thank you. You're really good at that." You sheepishly complimented him, making him chuckle. He patted your head and you smiled back.

"Can I take you out on a date, or is it too soon?" Eren asked, not wanting to pressure you since you were still upset over Armin.

"Too soon after what?" You replied obliviously. The green eyed boy smiled, knowing he was successful in the end. When he didn't answer, you continued. "I'd love to go out on a date, but how do we tell Mikasa..."

"I'll worry about that, how about you go to sleep for now?" You weren't gonna complain, and it didn't take long to drift to sleep in Eren's arms.

[papijean]

cherries chapter three

previous - series masterlist - next 

chapter summary: A coffee date with Armin was exactly what you needed to remind you who your feelings belonged to... maybe

warnings: mild smut, nipple play, grinding, 

word count: 6.3k

a/n: happy tuesday! 

With the confidence from the weekend's events and the successful feeling of your midterm, you decided it was a good time to ask Armin to hang out. Although he was busy, he still agreed to meet up while you were both on campus to get coffee. It wasn't anything grand or special, but you wanted to hang out with Armin on his own.

Truthfully, you'd been thinking about Connie all week. You couldn't get the sound of his laughter out of your head, nor the way his lips felt on yours. It was horrible to admit he'd caught your interest and now you were just as hooked as the rumours said. You could see why so many girls were a notch on his belt.

Time and time again you had to remind yourself he wasn't the one you wanted to sleep with for the first time, it was Armin. Armin was the one who you wanted to take your virginity to because you knew damn well his intentions with you would be nothing but honest. Your feelings for him had been manifesting for months now - one day with someone else wouldn't change your mind.

Whatever happened with Connie was a one time thing.

The nerves you had in his presence started up the moment you saw his blonde hair through the thick crowded hallways. Armin met your eye, giving you a smile before pushing his way through the rest of the people. You were waiting just outside the coffee shop within your campus - a popular spot for everyone.

"Hey!" He seemed more cheerful than the last time you saw him. The cute smile that was so easy to love took over all his features.  "Have you been waiting long?"

"No, my class just got out, too," you assured. Armin walked at your side as you entered the small coffee shop - if you could even consider it a cafe. There were probably only six tables in the room and every single one of them was constantly rotating people. "How have you been?"

"Busy," Armin let out a big breath of air. It seemed even he was able to get stressed over classes.  "I'm glad you texted me though, I've been needing a break away from everything."

Your lips curled up at his response. You'd been worried he only agreed to see you because he felt obligated to sine you were both in the same friend group. Though he did seem to enjoy your presence when you were together, it was always hard to tell when someone as kind as him was being truthful.

There was a difference in stature when it came to someone like Connie and someone like Armin. Both were kind to the face of others, but what occurred behind closed doors was impossible to tell. Armin was the kind man who was easy to befriend, Connie, you could only assume was the kind to weasel his way into the life of someone just to take what he wanted without you even realizing.

Before things could get worse, you needed to accept it was likely Connie wanted nothing more out of you than sex.

"Me too," a simple little lie, but enough to make it seem like you weren't desperate to meet up with him. Armin didn't need to know how badly you wanted to see him on your own, without the watchful eyes of your friends. There always felt like some sort of pressure when Sasha or Eren, or even Mikasa was around.

It didn't take long for the two of you to reach the front of the line. Armin, like the gentleman he was, offered to pay for your drink along with his. Thankfully, there was a singular open table by the time you were finished ordering. Before anyone would get the chance to nab it, you scurried over to the small table.

"Any particular reason you decided to ask just me to coffee today?" Armin asked as you sat down. There was a teasing tone to his voice. He was a smart man, it was likely he figured out long ago what your feelings for him were. Either he wanted you to say it out loud, or he really was clueless.

"Do I need a reason to want to hang out with you?" You tried to keep a somewhat straight face. One day you'd have to face your feelings head-on, today just wasn't going to be that day. "Or did you want me to invite Eren and Mikasa so they could eye fuck each other in front of our lattes? Sasha would clear out the whole bakery if she knew you were paying."

"Alright, alright," Armin held his hands up in defeat. There was a smile toying at his lips, trying to hold back the laughter at your excuses. It seemed like he wanted to push the question further but decided against it. You'd be ready to call this a date if he were to let you - and you hoped in the back of his mind he was thinking the same thing. "You look pretty."

"Are you trying to flirt with me?" The boldness coming from both of you was something you weren't expecting out of this coffee 'date'. Armin wasn't one to put himself out on the line like this - nor were you this inclined to flirt back at him. You weren't sure what was coming over you to be so forward with him.

Maybe your time with Connie had given you the confidence boost you needed to make progress with your relationship with Armin.

Your chin rested on your hand as you leaned onto the table. Armin mimicked your pose, leaning closer towards you until you could feel the warmth of his breath. You felt your chest tighten at the similar position - the same way you were sitting with Connie only days ago. Warmth flooded your cheeks at the intrusive reminder of his lips on yours.

"Am I not allowed to say my friends look good?" Armin gave you the same tone you used on him earlier. Jokingly, you rolled your eyes at him. Of course he could say such things, but you wanted his words towards you to be special.

Before he got the chance to say anything else, a barista brought both of your drinks to the table you sat at. Quickly, you retracted how you were sitting to make room for the steamy mugs. The brief moment you shared came to an end before you could even get the chance to enjoy it.

As badly as you wanted that intimate moment back, Armin changed the subject back to your daily lives at Trost University. He drove a smooth conversation, never allowing for an awkward break - which also meant he didn't give you the time to try and come up with some witty flirt to catch his attention either. Armin already seemed to have forgotten your brief moment only minutes ago.

There was far more than you realized to catch up on. Armin had so many things going on in his life you weren't sure how he managed to keep track of it all.

The drinks before you slowly began declining until there was nothing left but a muddle of sweetener at the bottom. Armin didn't seem to have any intentions of leaving, even with your beverages empty - not that you could complain.

"Are you planning on living with Eren and Mikasa again next year?"

"God no," Armin shook his head. It'd been nearly a year since Mikasa moved in with the duo. Clearly, he was just as sick of seeing them being a couple as the rest of you were. Eren was handsy and needy, Mikasa only gave her attention to him. It was easy to be annoyed by them. "I was thinking about living on my own for a while. Are you still thinking of living with Sasha?"

Yes, yes but if given the chance you'd move in with Armin without hesitation. It wasn't bad living with Sasha, she wasn't loud nor did she invite people over all the time - but she was horribly messy and never asked when eating your food. Armin seemed like the perfect roommate, and it was just an excuse to be closer to him, too.

"Yeah," you decided on answering. It was the easiest living at least another year with Sasha - at least by then you'd be graduated and could move wherever your job decided to take you. "I-"

Armin's face hardened. The soft smile and attentive eyes quickly set to a look of discontent as he looked at someone from behind you. Your back was towards the door, making it difficult for you to see anyone coming in and out of the cafe. Before you could turn to see who could have changed his attitude so quickly, a hand was placed on your shoulder.

You tilted your neck up, trying to figure out who the hell was so comfortable with you to touch you so aimlessly. Short, dark hair and a boyish grin were recognizable.

"Connie," Armin leaned back in his chair, arms crossed as he glared at the hand resting on you. Armin, along with the rest of your friends, was clueless about your most recent hang-out with Connie. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a coffee shop, Armin, obviously I'm here to get some coffee," he teased. There were no free chairs available for him to pull up and join you, though it didn't seem the blonde would want that anyway. "I wasn't going to just ignore you guys and not say hi."

The two men before you appeared to be in a silent argument. Their stares were unwavering, though they shared no words. It sent a chill down your spine - it was rare to see Armin upset like this. However, twice now you'd seen him react badly when Connie was around. It made you curious as to whether or not the two shared some sort of aggressive history. It was something you were going to have to ask Sasha about at some point.

Connie's palm was hot on your shoulder. You could feel the warmth of it even through the layers of clothing you wore. However, Armin's stare felt like it was burning you. You could nearly see the gears working in his brain to figure out how you were okay with Connie touching you like this in public - even if it did appear like an innocent touch.

"You've said your bit, now go get your coffee," Armin's voice was taut. "More importantly, stop touching someone you barely know."

Connie chuckled, you couldn't see his expressions - not unless you cranked your neck to look up at him. He held his hands up in defense, leaving your shoulder cold and wanting a second embrace. You knew the warmth of his hands twice now, and twice now you wanted to feel it all over your body. It was a horrible thought to have when you were sitting right across from the person you truly wanted most.

"Let's hang out again," Connie spoke directly to you. He remained in your peripheral, likely watching Armin to see what kind of reaction he would have to the sudden truth of your previous engagement. "I had fun last time."

Armin's jaw tightened. His palms from beneath the table turned to fists as he tried to maintain a calm exterior. However, the moment he saw Connie wink in his direction, he was ready to lose it entirely. The lowly suggestive comments were easy enough to pick up on - but to provoke him in such a manner was unforgivable.

You were blind to the small action, only seeing Armin's face flush pink with frustration as Connie picked up his order from the barista and left the cafe. Without realizing it, your hand covered the same spot as Connie did, hoping to mimic the feeling of his hand on your body. Armin glared until you retracted.

"You hung out with Connie?" Armin asked. Though he was no longer using a teasing tone like before, it seemed he calmed down enough. You nodded your head in answer. "Why?"

"We're in the same class," you shrugged nonchalantly. Armin was the last person you wanted to find out - especially after the lecture he gave you the first time you met Connie. "We had a midterm this week so we decided to study together in the library. Connie was nice, Armin, you don't need to worry about me as much as you do."

You omitted the part about him driving you home - and the kiss you shared. Although, with Connie's tone, you were sure he already picked up on what happened.

"When it comes to someone like him, it's hard not to worry," Armin sighed. He ran a hand down his face, trying not to say everything on his mind. He trusted you not to make some stupid mistake you would regret for the rest of his life but he also knew how persuasive Connie could be when he wanted something. "Be careful."

"I know."

Connie Springer was not to be trusted when it came to pretty girls he wanted to have sex with. You were no exception, even when you were best friends with Sasha.

><

'Hey this is Connie, Eren gave me your number. I was wondering if you wanted to work on the assignment together that's due next week?'

It totally slipped your mind to give Connie your number the last time you saw him. You couldn't exactly ask Sasha or Armin for his number without either of them raising suspicion - and they weren't likely to give out your number either. Eren was the good choice for Connie to go to - he probably couldn't care less if you were hanging out with him or not.

You were yet to start the assignment Connie was talking about, it wasn't necessarily hard, just time-consuming. Working with him would hopefully make the time go by faster than working on your own.

This time, you couldn't let yourself get distracted by him. Kissing Connie was a one-time thing, you couldn't let it happen again. Seeing how worried and upset Armin was, you couldn't bear to let it happen again. You also couldn't let yourself just be another notch for him, Connie was used to having girls fall at his feet - you couldn't be one of them.

However, it didn't stop you from giving him a quick reply to agree to work on the assignment with him. You'd managed to hide the text from Sasha as she tried peaking over your shoulder to see who you were texting without raising too much suspicion. However, it was hard to ignore the heat radiating from your body as Connie followed up with a second text of coming over to his place to study.

The library was fine last time, though it would be nice to get a change of scenery - and there was no way you could have him over to your home without Sasha finding out. You were scared to tell her that you were hanging out with him - mostly because you knew how badly she'd react by jumping to more conclusions than you thought possible.

Nothing was going on between you and Connie. Nothing.

"You look tired."

Connie's home wasn't quite how you expected it to be. He shared an apartment with Jean, though quite larger than the one you shared with Sasha. The kitchen was updated with all new appliances and you couldn't help but notice the expensive coffee machine that sat on the counter as well.

It smelt deeply of cologne in the apartment as if it was coming from an air freshener somewhere. It was an addictive smell - though it differed from the smell of the cologne he usually wore. You could only guess Jean was the one behind it.

He didn't show you around the whole place, just a walk-through towards his room. The door beside his was left a jar but it didn't appear anyone was in there. From what you could tell from the small glance, it was Jean's room. You could see his unmade bed and desk set up, though it was hard to understand any of his personality from the brief peak.

Connie's room was large. It was hard to believe this was just an apartment in comparison to your own. Whoever was paying for it had to have deep pockets.

His bed was in the center of the far wall, two small tables on either side of it that had books, cords, and empty water bottles on both. His desk held a gaming computer and still had enough space to do school work all on the same surface. Clothes were piled on the floor in his closet, not quite making it to his laundry basket, however, it was rather clean.

There was a bathroom connected to his room, a luxury you wish you had when it came to sharing one with Sasha. You were yet to get a peak inside but it seemed like it was quite nice.

"I am," you admitted. It felt like hours you'd been working on this assignment together and you were starting to get extremely bored of it. Connie must have been feeling the same way if he noticed how tired you appeared.

Connie worked at his desk while you sat on his bed, laptop staring at you with the unfinished assignment. He'd given you the choice when you first arrived but it seemed like he wanted the desk to himself. His bed was comfortable, thick cushioning with a plush comforter - even his pillows seemed like they were expensive. It wasn't helping how sleepy were you.

Music played in the background but you were yet to pay attention to it. Between your concentration on your school work and the flow of conversation you held with Connie, it was hard to pick up on the songs.

He didn't bring up what happened last time or when he ran into you at the cafe. You weren't sure what his thoughts were about you, but he appeared happy to be working with you. Connie's laugh sounded so genuine it was impossible to believe he only asked you here because he needed someone to help with his assignment.

"Do you want a coffee or anything? Or we could take a break from working," Connie offered. He spun his chair to face you fully, rather than just in his peripheral. "You look like you're ready to conk out for the day."

"I can't help it, your bed is just so comfortable," you laughed. The last thing you wanted to think about was what has happened in his bed.

"Have a nap then," Connie chuckled. You didn't expect such an offer from him. You'd only known him for a couple of weeks and sleeping in front of him wasn't something you were quite comfortable with. Nonetheless, he sounded serious about his offer - he really didn't care if you were to fall asleep on him.

"Tempting offer, but we should at least finish this first," you tried nonchalantly to direct the subject away from sleeping on his bed. "I don't have much left on mine, what about you?"

"I think I'm a few questions behind you," Connie looked between your screen and his. You set your laptop down on the bed and got up to take a better look at where he was at. His fingers tapped on his desk as you leaned over his shoulder to read his assignment. It was hard focusing on the screen rather than the smell of his cologne.

"Oh you need the textbook for this question," you pointed out. You stood up straight, further away from Connie without making it seem like you were uncomfortable. "I found the pdf version online I'll send you the link if you don't have it."

Connie thanked you for the link, though it didn't seem like he was interested in continuing to work. He typed away aimlessly, spinning around in his chair every time he got bored - which was quite frequently. You couldn't blame him for not wanting to work any longer, you'd been going at it all afternoon.

With a sigh, Connie finally called defeat and shut down his computer. In two strides he managed to make it over to his bed a flop down next to you. He laid on his back, arms flung above his head as he stared up at the ceiling. It was clearly tall, but it was another reminder to see his feet almost hanging off the edge of his own bed.

He really wasn't what you expected him to be like. The first time you'd met, he gave off such an I-don't-care attitude it made you wonder how he got the reputation he had. After spending time with him, it was clear he was different than he put out to be.

"What?"

You didn't realize you were staring down at him until he called you out. Connie's features were so sharp, and yet laying here next to you he appeared so young. The youthful, playful side was one you wanted to see more often from him. This side was one you didn't need Armin or Sasha worrying about.

"You took your earrings out."

You found yourself reaching towards him, fingers trailing over the holes left behind from his piercings. There were two lobe piercings, a helix, and one you couldn't quite remember the name of - that one he kept in. It wasn't until he sighed did you realize you were stepping out of line.

"Sorry," you pulled your hand away.

"No, it feels nice," Connie grabbed your hand and placed it on the top of his head. He closed his eyes, waiting for your to pick up on the friendly motion again. It was scary how he was able to be so comfortable with you in such a short amount of time. You couldn't help but wonder if this was how he acted around Sasha - or any other women that came and went in his life. It was hard to believe he was making these exceptions for you and you alone but you so desperately wanted to believe it.

He hummed with content as your nails ran along his scalp. The soothing motion felt heavenly - and it seemed to relax you as well. With his eyes closed, it also gave you the good chance to really take in all his features. Connie was incredibly handsome, it was almost unfair how good of genes he received.

"Thank you for helping me with the assignment today, I'm sure you could have gone through it a lot faster on your own," Connie spoke after a long silence. His grey eyes fluttered open, meeting yours right away. The realization of how close you were was abrupt. For a second time, you found yourself pulling away from him.

"It was nice working on it with someone, I'd be bored otherwise," you waved off his thanks. However, it was nice of him to give such appreciation. You slouched down on his bed, lower and lower until you were flat on the mattress and your head on the pillow. "Besides, you're not the worst company to have around."

You teasingly nudged his arm with your elbow. Connie shook his head at you, trying to hide the grin he wore. His laugh was so melodic it almost reminded you of Armin's. The blonde would be so disappointed in you - laying in bed with the one he trusted least for you to be alone with.

"I like to think I'm better than 'not the worst'," Connie turned his head to look at you. You mimicked him. The distance between you was so minimal it almost felt suffocating. He turned to his side, propped up on one elbow and inching closer towards you with each second. "In fact, I like to think I'm really good company."

"You must be delusional then."

You could feel how hard your heart was beating against your chest. This shouldn't be happening - you shouldn't be letting it happen. Connie was not the person you wanted to be doing this with and yet here you were letting him get closer and closer until his lips were just a mere inch from yours.

"I must be."

They were just the same as they were last time. Soft, sweet, exhilarating. Connie's kiss was everything you could ever want and it was impossible to remember why you didn't want this to happen. He wasn't rushed - no, he was taking his sweet time to drag out every kiss he gave you.

Too soon he pulled away. Grey eyes locked to your lips, desperate for more but giving you the chance to back out now. Without hesitation your hand slipped to the back of his neck, edging him towards you until you could feel his kiss again.

The hairs at the back of his neck were soft beneath your fingers. The warmth radiating from his body was welcoming, pulling you in closer and closer until you could be enveloped in it entirely. A heavy palm cupped your jaw, thumb brushing against your cheek to soothe any worries out of your body. Connie calmed you, even with your heart beating so erratically.  

In a less-than-graceful movement, you found yourself on top of Connie, a leg on either side of his body. You could feel him smile into the kiss, pleased at your sudden initiative - or maybe just a reminder of the last time. It took him less time to slip his hands beneath your shirt, ready to pull it off the second you gave him the chance.

The tips of his fingers were smooth on your skin, never creeping up farther than what was considered polite but greedy with temptation. His neck stretched as you pulled away in an attempt to keep you close for as long as he could. However, he quickly became interested in removing your shirt.

The smooth motion of pulling your shirt off your body reminded you just how many times he'd done it before. You desperately grasped at those thoughts, trying to force yourself to stop this before all your friends were proven right about him. No matter how far you reached, Connie's touch pulled you back to him.

It was exhilarating the way his eyes were glued to your body. He took in every curve, every flaw, every perfection on your body and engraved it in himself. He reached to your face, cupping it so he could pull you back down to his level. Connie didn't care about your imperfections, he only cared to have your lips on his and to make you feel good.

Your own hands slipped under his shirt. Hard muscles were found beneath, though you weren't surprised by the fact. He flexed beneath your touch, a second later pulling away from your kiss to stifle a laugh.

"Stop, that tickles," he lightly grabbed your wrists to prevent them from tickling him even more. It was accidental, truly, but the idea of someone like him being ticklish like this was comforting to you. Connie let you go just to watch you pull his shirt off. You sat on his lap, admiring all the hard work he'd put in to get such a physique. "Hey, my eyes are up here."

"You must go to the gym a lot," your fingers danced against his skin, following every groove and bump carved into him. A sharp breath came from him as he forced himself not to react.

"I do," Connie's hands planted on your hips, fingers digging enough just enough to leave pressure on you. "Not because I care about the aesthetic, it clears my head."

"Oh?" You were surprised to hear he did it not for the body appeal. Someone of his taste would surely use the gum for selfish reasons. "Do you have a lot on your mind often?"

"Right now the only thing on my mind is you," he wore a boyish grin, one that made you forget about your thoughts of other people's hands on his body. The pads of his fingers trailed up your back, reaching the clasps of your bra. He raised his eyebrows, careful not to push past boundaries you wore. Without hesitation, you nodded for him to remove it.

Connie tossed the bra somewhere in the same direction as your shirt. Even under his intent gaze, you didn't feel the pressure of wanting to cover yourself. The palms of his hands were rough with callouses against your body but felt heavenly as he cupped your breasts. You couldn't help but gasp as his jagged callouses brushed against your nipples.

"Hey, my eyes are up here," you mocked his words from earlier. He rolled his eyes at your joke, dropping his hands back down to your hips. Suddenly, he used his strength to flip you onto the bed. His forearms rested on either side of you, body pressed against yours without all his weight on you.

Connie gratefully accepted your lips again, this time pouring his all into it. His tongue protruded your lips, fighting for what little power you had. You felt as if you were melting into the mattress, melting into him. Whatever addictive taste you'd gotten hooked on, it didn't seem like this kiss would ever be enough.

Your fingers dragged against every muscle in his arms until nestling at the nape of his neck. His kiss poisoned your senses. Time felt non-existent, your surroundings melted to nothing until all that remained was you and him. The pain in your lungs from the lack of air was weightless.

Connie gave no moment of rest. He broke your kiss just to trail some down your neck, nipping and sucking until he found a spot to make you moan. The smile against your skin was devilish, only proving to be right when you felt the pressure of a mark being left. You couldn't care less about how dark and obvious he was making it, only the feeling he was giving.

Your legs were pried open, just enough for him to place his own between. The width of his thigh pressed firmly against your clothed core but remained unmoving.

It wasn't until his lips wrapped around your perked nipple did you react. "Connie!" You breathed out in content. He hummed, a way of showing he was listening but even more so do send the shooting vibration across your body. "Fuck."

He gave attention to your other nipple as well, lightly rolling the nub between his fingers. Your nails dug into his shoulders, hard enough to leave indents. The feeling was so new and it was impossible to not want to beg for more.

A line of drool connected from the tip of his tongue to your nipple as he pulled back. His grey eyes were begging for more sounds from you, anything to prove he was doing a good job of this. Connie switched to the other, giving it the same treatment he did previously. He was harsher this time, allowing his teeth to catch and drag against you.

He could feel you grinding against his thigh. The movement was hesitant at first, maybe you weren't even aware you were doing it. Nonetheless, it was evident to him just how turned on you were. You slowly started feeling it more, putting more effort into it until finally you were silently begging for what you didn't even realize you wanted.

More. More. More.

You wanted more of this feeling.

Connie kissed down your torso, moving his body so you no longer had that feeling against him and most importantly making you crave more of it. He stopped when he reached the edge of your pants, looking up at you with such wishful eyes.

You weren't even looking down at him, you were still too caught up in the way your body was feeling. Connie took it as a sign to continue. He undid the button of your pants, pulling them down your legs until you were down to the not-so-sexy underwear you wore. He couldn't give a shit about what they were, just what was beneath them. He was so close, so fucking close to getting what he wanted - but he knew he couldn't rush this.

His thigh nestled between yours once more. You'd feel so much better with one less piece of material between you - even more so when he would finally be able to strip you of your underwear. Connie's thumb and fingers lightly grabbed both of your cheeks. He pulled you back to an angle to kiss you easily.

"Shit," you breathed out as he toyed at your breasts. Between his kiss and his touch, you were beginning to get lightheaded. Your body moved on its own, pressing against the thick material of his jeans. You wanted to moan his name at how good it felt but nothing but a choked breath could come out.

Your lips were tender and swollen from it all but you didn't want to stop. You wanted to be kissed forever.

"Can-" Connie cut himself off, kissing you hard until your lungs screamed for air. "Can I take these off?" His finger looped into the band of your underwear but made no further move to pull them down your legs. The question was simple - yes or no - but it caught you so incredibly off guard you felt your chest sink with realization.

What were you doing? What the hell were you thinking to let Connie get this far with you? No - no you couldn't let this go any further. Not for your sake, or Sasha's, or Armin's. This had to stop. It was becoming all too real too quickly.

Was I about to have sex with Connie?

Was he making you feel so good you couldn't even think straight enough to notice what the hell was going on? This wasn't what you came over to his home for - you came here only for studying. Connie knew that - he knew it and he still did this to you. Not that he could be the only one to blame, you let it get this far.

"I-" you tried to answer. The tightness of his jeans was prominent, just as the needy look on his features. "I'm sorry, Connie, I can't."

You felt the need to cry. Not because you were upset, but because you disappointed yourself and Connie. Connie was so gentle with you and you couldn't even go through with this. It was just sex - something you were yet to have - and yet you couldn't help but suddenly make a big deal of it.

Anxiety riddled your body. Your bottom lip was pulled between your teeth to keep it from wobbling, throat and eyes burning with the need to let your emotions out. Why did you feel so horrible for not wanting something so human?

"Hey," Connie gently cupped your cheek. There was no anger, no frustration, just kindness. Whether or not it was real, you only cared about the sudden comfort. "It's okay, I get it. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me," Connie assured. He gave you a final kiss, one on your lips and a second on your forehead. The clothes of yours he tossed aside were handed to you. "Get dressed, I'm going to have a quick shower then I'll drive you home, yeah? Maybe we can grab some food on the way if you're hungry."

Instantly, the fear clouding your thoughts was disappearing. How was he so kind? How could Armin hate someone who was willing to hand out nothing but sincerity? No one had ever made you feel such a way.

You nodded, bunching your crumpled clothes to your chest until he slipped away into his bathroom. As soon as the water started running you gained the will to get dressed. This indescribable feeling only grew - warmth filling your chest, unexplainable smile, it was fulfilling.

You fell to his bed, bare legs dangling off the side and a grin on your face. A silent squeal of excitement left you, unable to contain what was bubbling in your heart. You couldn't help but wonder if Connie was this time, just how much of a gentleman would Armin be? Would he cherish every bit of you? Ask if you were comfortable? Would he kiss you until your knees were weak?

By the time you got dressed and packed away everything you'd been using for the assignment, the water shut off in the bathroom. It was only moments later did Connie emerge with nothing but wet hair and a towel around his waist.

Even if it was practically the same view you'd just gotten, you couldn't help but be amazed at the addition of water droplets sneaking down his body. Fuck.

"Sorry, I forgot some clothes."

"I can wait outside for you." Not that you wanted to. You gave a curt nod before grabbing your bag and heading towards the door. Connie chuckled at your sudden flustered state. With the closed door between you once more, you could let out the relieved sigh you'd been holding in. You were attracted to Connie, maybe more than just physically at this point.

"Fuck."

- 

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[kyberphilosopher]

Smile

Word Count: 3467 Requested: yes. Based off ‘505′ Warnings: strong hints to sexual disposition. Spoilers if you squint.

“I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck... I did last time I checked.” -Arctic Monkeys, ‘505′.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

With hoarse breath and unwavering eyes, you look up to the stars as you speak. “So, you’re really going to do it then?”

“I have to,” you hear him say. His voice has gotten far more mature and calm since the first time you’d heard him speak. Still angry and determined, but in an intelligent, adult way. Eren is a more capable person now. The only thing left to do is wait and see if that’s a good thing, or a bad thing. 

“What do you think are the chances of winning?” you question. A shooting star whizzes across the sky at that very moment, and it’s gone before you can think of a wish. 

You turn around to face him, but his eyes are already on you. Once upon a time, Eren’s eyes were emerald and teal and deep. Now they’re paler. They are cold and steady as a byproduct of who he’s become. It’s hard not to wonder what he’s thinking about when he looks at you like this, especially since he’s become harder to read over the years.

At first, Eren was one of the most insufferable people you’d ever met. He acted out so often, it was hard to see him as another person of intelligent life. You mostly just minded your business through your cadet years, usually hanging around Reiner, who was also difficult to see as intelligent life. Sometimes you and Eren would argue, but it was never passionate. You just had different world views. 

Things got better when you found out what Eren really was. Since you hadn’t made top ten, you could only choose between the Garrison Regiment, or the Scout Regiment. And with Eren’s newly discovered power showing the promise of hope, you decided on the Scouts. He liked that. 

After that, it was hard not to mature at the same time as he. Eren often blamed himself for the death and carnage that surrounded the regiment. You were solely responsible for the passing of your best friend. And after everything that happened with the government, almost dying at Shiganshina- you knew you couldn’t stand this much longer. With your relationship with Eren still budding in its early and steamy stages, he was the only one you told of your desertion. You abandoned the corps, finding a small, abandoned farm within wall Maria to hide out in. 

Eren was too tired and sick of everything to think you were being cowardly. He wanted to leave too. Maybe come with you. But Eren had plans in the works that he couldn’t leave alone. He visited you less and less. Luckily you never made a fuss. 

And now Eren wants to end the world, to save the world. How does he expect you to react to this?

“I just thought I should see you,” Eren replies. You know he’s deflecting your question. You’re not stupid. 

You nod slowly, blinking as you think. “Am I going to die?”

Your companion crosses his arms calmly. “Yes,” he tells you. 

There it is. 

“You know I can’t support you in this, right?” you tell Eren, equally as calm. 

He only replies after a moment, also in deep thought. “I know.”

You look back up to the sky, sighing out through your nose. “Why did you come, Eren? Did you want me to tell you that I think you’re doing the right thing? Or was it because you need to let out some anger? I wonder.”

“I did want to see you.”

“Do you still?”

Silence. 

“Yes.”

“And I suppose there’s nothing I can do to change your mind?”

“No.”

The stars are glittering with pastel hues, like a rainbow, or kaleidoscope. Each one is a different size, bordering on different shapes, all fusing and melting together like your idea of heaven. You can barely even see the midnight color of the sky through all them. It is beautiful, but it’s also bitter. Everything is bitter, here. 

“I didn’t make myself any dinner yet,” you say. “Couldn’t think of anything.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

When she was alive, Eren’s mother would make a soup for the family. It was creamy, hot, filled with meat and cheese at the bottom. Eren never liked soup, but he did love that dish. She was always sure to make extra for him, so that he could enjoy it for several days. And although it wasn’t until after she was gone that Eren realized he rarely ever thanked her for it, it was still one of the warmest memories Eren had. 

He fills your wooden bowl with it, being awfully generous. He knows that even though you haven’t eaten much in the last few years, you too had grown fond of the soup. He knows no matter how slowly you force it down, you are enjoying it. It burns the roof of your mouth every time, but you’ve never cared. All that matters is the creamy sauce, and the cow cooked to perfection. 

You stare at the fireplace beside you, flames cackling and licking upward. Eren sets the bowl in front of you, and takes the seat on the other side. You know he sets his long hair behind his shoulders. You’re already prepared. From your pocket, you produce a stretchy brown hair tie on the verge of snapping, handing it to him. 

“Thanks,” he says, even though this routine has happened however many times he’s seen you. 

“You’re welcome.”

The soup is as amazing as usual. You’re willing to bet Eren makes it even better than his mother did, but you dare not say it aloud. It’s creamy, perfectly seasoned. It goes down your throat, still steaming. 

“Does Mikasa know about this?” you question, taking one more delicious bite. 

“No. None of them do,” Eren answers. “Armin will figure it out soon.”

“You want me to kill ‘em?”

Eren shakes his head. To a lot of people, this would be taken as a joke. But this is nowhere near it. Your tone is too casual, too low for it to be humor of any kind. And the way the man across from you reacts- he’s thinking the same thing. 

“No.”

“How are they, then?”

Eren thinks as he takes another bite, the warmth creeping up his chest sweetly. “They’re alright for now. I don’t know for how much longer. I can’t see everything.”

“Can you see who’s next?”

He squints at his bowl as if he were angry, but his eyebrows barely move. “Sasha.” 

Sasha. She was always a good presence to have around. While she seemed like the type of person who would annoy you, it was hard to hate her. And you admired her keen intuition anyway. 

“Will you give her something for me?”

Eren nods. Then you both go back to eating for a few seconds, basking in the orange glow from the flames. 

“How are things here?” he questions after a minute. 

“The same,” you tell him. “I think the cow might die soon.”

Some people might reply with condolences, or sympathy. But your lover does not, and you do not expect him to. “I’ll get you a new one,” he says flatly, almost like a promise. You nod once.

Despite the atmosphere which can only be described as bitter, you’re glad to see Eren again. You’re glad that he’s alive, and as alright as he can be. The bed is always colder without him, heated up only by your lingering fingers that you pretend are his every other night. Whenever he leaves an article of clothing behind, usually on purpose, you hold off on washing it so it can smell like him for you as long as possible. Then there are the hair ties you keep either in your pocket or on your wrist, specifically for him. The razors in your cabinet he often didn’t even bother using. 

Even with the sullen demeanor that had managed to overtake both of you, there was at least one thing you cared about in the world still. Maybe it wasn’t the most conventional kind of caring, or the healthiest coping mechanism. But it was still caring. And all that you cared about was him. 

You knew you weren’t Eren’s first priority. You were probably second, or third. It didn’t bother you. Eren’s head was one of the first things lost when the truth was presented to him. It came back coldly and sternly, in contrast to how previously hot and impatient it had been. But by then your head had also grown colder and sterner. In simpler terms, Eren did care for you. He did love you. But he would consider letting you die if it meant achieving what he set out to do, and you knew this. 

Across the table, Eren lifts his head to look up at you as he chews slowly. The burning meal slides down his throat easily, albeit painfully. It doesn’t even register with him, his piercing eyes slowly gaining a glint from the fire light. 

You meet his eyes after a few seconds, feeling them on you. You don’t say a word, don’t even give a questioning look. You just hold him patiently, which is something the two of you find yourself doing often. 

“You can’t stop it,” Eren speaks, looking you dead in the eyes with a steady gaze. There is love behind his eyes, far behind the anger, but you can tell from the tone of voice he is trying to tell you something as if it were an order. Your lips part slightly from the intensity radiating from your lover, who doesn’t move a muscle. “You’ll be free soon.” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Dinner ends. Eren helps clean up the dishes for you and goes to get water from your well so you can clean easier. You already know from the way his thumb brushed against your own when you took the bowls that you’ll likely be bent over the sink in a few minutes, which you don’t mind, but you wonder if he’ll be willing to be softer than usual as an apology for what he’d said earlier. 

He’d meant to scare you. You’re intelligent enough to figure that out. Even though you don’t scare easy, and you didn’t even give an extreme reaction, the look in Eren’s eyes had made your heart drop to your stomach. Sometimes you forget that Eren sees everything. Then he says something like that to remind you in the most memorable way. 

The wooden door opens and closes behind you. Boots scuff the ground for a few seconds, drawing closer and closer as something in you sparks with anticipation, as it always does. A pail of water hits the surface beside you, partially sloshing over the sides, shining silver in the moonlight from the tall window in front of you. Finally, ultra hot hands slide around your waist and push gently but tightly against where your ribs diverge. 

A jaw leans down on your right shoulder, chin poking against your collarbone. Locks of hair brush against your own, just as the hand on the left runs across your side to finally put a small band in your pocket. 

“I did miss you,” Eren’s low voice seemingly growls, his chest rumbling softly against your back. 

“I was thinking about you,” you admit with monotone, knowing your lover can read through it like as easily as a knife slices through skin. 

“I hope I didn’t worry you,” he says, though you can also read through his own tone. He probably didn’t care about worrying you. He definitely doesn’t still. 

“You didn’t.”

You place a both bowls in the sink, running your fingers over the dirty spoons. Eren’s orbs follow your movement. You can feel his chin change positions ever so slightly in the coming seconds. 

“Can you pass me the rag?” you ask, eyes focused on a piece of food on the spoon that doesn’t even exist. 

In response, Eren doesn’t pass you anything. Only his right hand gives you any kind of acknowledgement, passing from on your ribs to down lower. His fingertips skin over the erogenous zone under the waistband of your undergarments. 

“I worried about you,” Eren murmurs boldly. The hot fingertips pass under the cloth finally, pricks of stubble on his jaw scratching your neck and shoulder as he shifts. “I wanted you to be okay.” His left hand raises to grasp the breast above it. Slowly at first, then firmly, like a warning. Everything is a warning with him. 

Your head lulls back uncontrollably. The back of your hair matts up as it rolls against his own shoulder. 

“I said you worried me,” your partner grumbles. “Did you hear me?”

“No,” you lie lowly, refusing to let your voice shake despite the shiver in your throat. 

“Mm,” Eren hums in condescending understanding. A force presses against your core, which has turned burning hot and ice cold at the same time. The force pulls away, a string of something smooth and slimy following it that makes a sound draw from your lips. It’s high pitched, weak, and unstoppable. You’d be embarrassed if you weren’t so associated with Eren. 

His hand gives your breast a firm squeeze, soreness blossoming from the center. Your back arches quickly and returns lax against him, though now something pokes against your bottom that makes your eyes pop open with a new alertness. Eren’s hand gives you no time again. From your chest, it flies to your throat, holding it back with soft strictness as the other finally dips into the hot pool between your hips. 

“I worried about you.”

A strangled groan releases from between your lips again, this time fully carried up through the air. To Eren, it must sound like nothing more than music, or background noise. 

Thick cylinders pump inside you to the knuckle. They feel better than your own. They always have. 

It feels good. Full. Tight and fast and like the inside of you is quivering under the weight of something that you can’t see or hear. Eren is like a blanket supporting you from falling over, keeping you upright with his grip and his fingers buried inside of you. Prodding every angle, every spot. Not necessarily romantically, but still lovingly. He has always had this goal during intimacy. Nothing matters but communicating to you just how close he wants to be. 

“Eren,” you choke, a dribble of spit sliding from the corner of your lips. 

“Again,” he hisses in response. His fingers hit a tight spot, making every muscle in your body clench at the same time. 

You don’t say another word, your mouth hanging partially open as you focus on everything around you. And it’s all Eren Jaeger. His smell, his growls, his voice, his breathing, his chest, his muscles, his hair, his anger, his bitterness, his intelligence, his determination. It’s overwhelming. It reminds you of getting swept in one of those waves at the ocean he described to you. He’s yours. No- more likely, you’re his. End of story. 

“I said again.”

“Eren,” you moan.  

His head nuzzles into your neck comfortingly, his fingers pushing faster and harder. You can feel how warm you are, never mind how slick. And the way your own body holds around his digits every time he pulls away is enough to make you all the more warm and slick. 

But then...

What is he doing?

He had said “you’ll be free soon”. And yet, here he is, gripping you tightly as he forces you into the corner of submitting. And yes, it is hot. It arouses you as it always has. But something about it makes your stomach turn into a knot of unpleasantness, in contrast to the other one of liquid pleasure. 

“Eren,” you strain, squirming against him. 

Eren speeds up again. A grunt falls from his own mouth from his own power, and you know he’s getting off almost as much as you are. It doesn’t stop feeling good. Feeling euphoric. 

It’s getting rougher. Rougher and harder and faster, more intense. 

“Eren.”

Another gruff moan from him. 

“Eren! Stop! Stop!”

Eren’s palm softens away at once. It lifts away, his eyes opening and his hand stilling inside of you. He watches you shake as you gaze up to the ceiling, wide eyed. Your thighs sputter, entire body twitching. You didn’t cum. 

His eyes trail over you. You’ve worked up a steady sweat glistening and glowing, shivering and shaking and quaking because of him in the best way. You’re his. His partner, his friend, his ally he knows for a fact he can rely on.

“C-can we... Eren...” 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Drips of water dribbling down Eren’s temple. One of your hands are threaded in his brunette locks, holding them back so you can have an uninterrupted view. The other hand is dabbing cloth against his forehead and hairline, bathing him softly. 

He’d gone a while without bathing again. You could tell. Eren’s eyes are glued to yours, deep teal memorizing all the flecks in your own as if he hadn’t a million times over. 

Eren loves you. Dearly. He’d travel all seven hours and forty five minutes just to tell you that. He doesn’t know what made you stop earlier. He doesn’t ask. But he’s not mad. Overall, Eren understands that it doesn’t matter what you asked to stop for. You give the word, he obeys. Not because he has to, but because he loves you. 

Still, he knows something is wrong. You don’t show it. You’re steady, calm, mature, apathetic as always. But in the pit of Eren’s stomach, something brews. A warm, strange feeling of intuition and omniscience. 

“You look very pretty today,” Eren ventures, wondering only of your response. “Did I tell you that?”

Your eyes squint. “Thank you,” you reply back. 

The cloth continues to rub against his skin, cleaning something that probably doesn’t even exist. Dirt, maybe. Eren’s stopped taking care of his skin in the past few years. 

“You’re welcome.”

Your eyes squint again. This time, they gloss over with sharp wetness like glass. The eyebrows crease like a break, your bottom lip trembling as you suck it between your teeth. 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting. But your lover wasn’t expecting this. 

Eren hates when you cry. He can remember the first time he’d seen it, but not the most recent. You didn’t cry often- you were strong. Crying over something as useless and flimsy as emotions didn’t seem worth it. So what was this for? What were you about to make Eren break down inside over?

Your hand falls limply from his forehead. Shoulders hunch over in defeat, staring down at the floor as your hair covers over your face. And then the sniffles come, choked out coughs like sobs. 

Eren can see the lightest of bruises he’d left on you from earlier, but you’d never had a problem with it before. No, it was something else. But what?

Silent, your teeth grit together as you wince, tears streaming down your face inexplicably. 

“Earlier w-when you,” you gulp, snot beginning to form, “when you- I did worry a-about you. I- I don’t know why I didn’t...”

You stumble forward. Eren stands from your bath tub to catch you as you slump against him tiredly. 

“I hate it when you go.”

Eren switches positions with you, pushing you down to sit on the edge of the tub. He takes the wet rag from your hand and holds your shoulder back so he can have a good look at you. Then the cloth dabs against your own forehead, just as you had done to him. 

“I hate it here,” you sigh, a single tear drop blurring your vision as it falls finally. 

Your lover moves the cloth from your head to your cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin and away. They moisten and dry, your eyes red and shiny. Eren tilts your head up under your jaw, creasing his brows and using the towel to clean closer to your eyes. 

“If it helps,” he says, looking straight into your eyes, “you’re crying, but I still think you look pretty.”

You’d be lying if you said that didn’t help even a little, because you love him. 

A soft smile creeps to your lips, your hands dropping in between your thighs. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

No I didn’t reread this lmfao enjoy. Hope I did you justice anon

[erwinsvow]

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 | 𝐚𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬

a/n: hey everyone! hope you enjoy these college headcanons! part two can be found here! warning for nsfw in jean's, and mentions of alcohol/partying throughout!

jean kirstein

jean shows up to college thinking it’s gonna be high school part two, and quickly gets put in his place

his old antics (for both school and girls) won’t fly anymore, so he tries his hardest at both

i personally see jean as not the smartest, most gifted kid (in college!) but definitely one of the hardest workers

this man comes in pre-law and changes to sports management real quick

he definitely plays some kind of club sport, lacrosse or basketball or maybe even both and he is way too into it

like club lacrosse is his life.

he 100% has eyes for cheerleaders, because he loves idea of someone rooting for him, and if you are one, then it’s instantaneous

he notices you at one of his games, giving a shove to conny and asking if he knew who you were

which is met with “what do i look like, a phone book?”

he builds up the courage to ask you out eventually, to which of course you agree, and it’s pretty much a happy ending after that

makes for a lot of sweaty, post-match sex, with him still in his jersey and you in your uniform hiked up

reiner braun

frat bro reiner is a business major with a focus on finance

reiner is the guy who dedicates 100% of his time to school during the weekdays, and the weekends are for the bros

he’s the first in the library, last to leave lecture because he stayed behind to get clarifications, and pretty much aces everything

halloweekend, he decides to drag annie and bertholdt to a party, because they are in desperate need of letting loose

probably dressed up as something mildly douche-y that didn’t require a lot of thought: a foot ball player jersey with eye black improvised by annie

he is a heavy-weight if you’ve ever seen one, probably on his fifth cup of cheap beer and not even slightly buzzed

annie and bertholdt are sloshed, so he keeps one eye on them to make sure they’re alright

you, on the other hand, are serving as designated-driver for the night and sipping on soda

i think any kind of sweet, innocent costume (angel, fairy, woodland creature) would get his attention immediately

he goes over to you to try to make conversation, and finds himself stumbling over his words even though he just swore he wasn’t tipsy yet

but you find it cute, and given how you have seen him before around campus, studying all the damn time, you’re pleasantly surprised to find a sweet, interesting guy making conversation with you at a halloween party

eventually, your friends take off with their hook-ups, and reiner is left behind alone too after making sure everyone had a safe ride home

with no one left besides you two and his passed out friends, you offer him and his roommates a ride back to his dorm

after dropping annie off, you arrive at the dorm and help lug a blacked-out bertholdt to their room

you say goodnight and as you leave, feeling bold, you leave your number on the whiteboard hanging on their door

so that then turns into coffee-and-studying dates, and eventually a relationship before too long

armin arlert

i think we all know what armin is like in college: marine biology major and history minor

this is an effortless genius, so unlike reiner, he doesn’t have to spend all his time studying

i think armin would be the kind of guy who has school and life figured out, and he slowly realizes a healthy relationship is the one thing missing from his life

there’s honestly plenty of people who want to date him, if he had ever cared to return any of their gazes

i honestly see him being oblivious, so when a fellow classmate asks if he wants to study together, he goes “oh, sorry, i wasn’t really planning on studying, but maybe eren wants a study-buddy, i’ll let him know for you!” instead of realizing that was someone flirting

so it’s the same for you

you’re taking the marine sci class as a last resort, everything else was completely filled up, and you just had to get out of that physics class

but all this talk about oceans and sea-creatures is even worse, somehow. to put it short, you’re struggling, and armin is the kid who raises his hand at every question without so much as jotting down a note during lecture

you know mikasa through a friend-of-a-friend type situation, and ask her if armin would be willing to tutor you sometime

doesn’t matter that part of the reason you’re doing so poorly is because you’re staring at the back of his head most of class

armin and you get together to study on a saturday evening, and what began as a recap on the history of the ocean quickly turns into laughing, talking, and then “you wanna go grab something to eat?”

for someone so smart, he’s really dense

he thinks you’re being friendly and doesn’t want to assume you’re thinking this is a ‘date’ even though you’re internally screaming

it takes you leaning in for a kiss after he’s walked you back to your dorm for it to click

needless to say, he wasn’t quite so oblivious after that

eren yeager

eren was determined to get into the same college as armin and mikasa

my man is undecided, and then sociology after he’s forced to pick

not exactly a fuckboy, not exactly a stoner, just somewhere in between

procrastinates doing work and submits every thing a day late, even though he probably would have gotten full marks if it was on time

him and mikasa decide to take a marine bio class with armin, and he ends up falling asleep during lecture

i don’t see him going for a goody-two shoes type that wants to reform him, because he just wouldn’t want to deal with that

it’s not a toxic relationship, but pretty close to one

on again, off again ever since the two of you met in a dingy frat basement, absolutely hammered, and hooked up

this boy does not want to admit that he’s caught feelings, but eventually it comes to that because he is very much the jealous type

catches you engaging in polite conversation with reiner and he is seeing white in seconds

he realizes he has to make you his

marco bott

the most wholesome nursing major with a minor in english because he is a sucker for lit

i don’t think there is any shortage of girls who want to be with marco, just given how sweet and genuine he is

that being said, i feel like the few time he’s wanted to pursue a relationship with someone, they haven’t reciprocated/just saw him as a friend

which isn’t the easiest thing to deal with, but because he’s a mature angel, he doesn’t hold that against anyone

instead, he kind of succumbs to this false idea that people want to be his friend, and not his girlfriend, which he’s a little insecure about

that’s why i think you and marco would have idiot best friends to lovers, featuring everyone around you knowing how head over heels you both are except the two of you

you two meet in a particularly challenging class, and not recognizing anyone, you both turn to the friendliest face in the room to make study-buddies with

over a whole semester of late-night cramming (and talking), scribbling smiley faces on flashcards, and good luck texts before the exam, you realize how much you’re gonna miss constantly hanging out with marco

and on his end, he’s complaining to jean about how after the final, you two won’t have any reason to keep talking

“so ask her out then, you idiot”

“she probably doesn’t think of me like that…”

“are you blind?” jean says, with a roll of his eyes

after the class has ended and you’re both headed back home for winter break, you work up the nerve to text marco one last time

“let me know if you ever need help studying for another class :)”

you have no idea that he’s over the moon, and that finally brings an end to your friendship, and starts your relationship

bertholdt hoover

mister bertholdt is structural design and architecture major

there’s basically six of those total in your entire college, so he definitely gets a bit isolated/lonely sometimes

he basically came to college with reiner & annie, and figured he didn’t really need more friends than that

so when they’re busy, he’s just by himself

annie definitely makes fun of him for not spreading his wings and flying out of the metaphorical nest, but he’s comfortable with how it is

not a huge fan of the party scene, and prefers a quiet night of studying

i feel like you and him would be the last two studying in the library most nights, and sometimes walk out together after the librarian reminds you both the building is closing

so, when reiner and annie drag him to a party one weekend, he’s shocked to see you there too with outgoing friends of your own

he’s used to seeing you in the bright fluorescent lighting of the library, so this dim, hazy room after the shots have already gone to his head is hard to take in

you two eventually end up talking after your friends push you towards him

“funny seeing you here.” “i could say the same to you.”

he already has a crush (you do too, but he doesn’t want to accept that) so the alcohol inhibits his usual caution

a little bit of dancing, a lot of sitting on the pavement outside while looking at the moon, stars, and each other, topped off with a first-kiss starts your relationship

levi ackerman

teaching assistant levi is a staple of your college

almost infamous, really

you count your lucky blessings that he’s still a year or so away from graduating with his ph.d. in molecular biology and that he’s ta’ing this microbiology class

you’ve definitely heard all sorts of rumors, but you really don’t know what’s truth and fiction

he definitely hasn’t slept with a third of his students (right?) but the lingering way he looks at you isn’t helping quell your thoughts

technically speaking, teaching assistants and students are not allowed to date, interact, etc

until the semester in which you are their student is completed, at least

it doesn’t take long after that for you two to constantly run into each other

“how’re your new classes going? any hot ta’s?” he asks, sipping his tea from the bookstore cafe. you choke on your hot chocolate.

all this being said, you’re an upperclassmen about to graduate, possibly start a ph.d. or masters program yourself. i see him teaching upper-level courses exclusively.

it’s not long after that you admit your feelings to each other, since after all, there’s no time to waste

erwin smith

you’re a second year masters program in the history department. your specialization is military history, so of course professor smith is assigned as your thesis advisor.

i mean, he’s only written several textbooks on the subject

on first sight, you can’t believe he’s a professor. because certainly, this is a some cruel twist of fate. he’s closer to your age than some of his colleagues.

you both try to keep it strictly professional

at first least. this gets gradually harder and harder

there’s a certain chemistry there neither of you can deny.

having a mutual interest in the same subjects doesn’t help too much either. suddenly, you guys are spending hours pouring over topics for his next textbook and your thesis.

the conversation continues over chinese food in his office, long after the rest of the building has cleared out for their friday evenings

“well, i won’t keep you any longer. i’m sure you have much better plans on a friday night than talking military policy with me.”

“there is no where else i’d rather be.”

hope you all liked it! :)

[bakugohoex]

Can you do Jean x reader where they are both undercover at Marley 💕💕💕

part one: “this isn’t a date jean, we’re undercover”

paring: jean kirschtein x female reader

cw: season 4 spoiler but there is no manga spoiler at all, fluff, language 

word count: 2600+

a/n: i had to read so much for this fic, but i got the jist of it, again making sure you guys know there is no spoilers for the manga in here and onlt a season four spoiler do if you guys havent watched the latest episodes be warned

summary: in which you and jean are undercover doing reconnaissance in marley, want turns to investigating a local bar leads to feelings finally being brought out from the two of you

part two  | part three 

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist 

The dress you wore covered your thighs and knees, it hugged you, the soft material being a drastic change from your normal attire. It was a warm mid-day, birds chirped and the sound of Marleyans engulphed your ears. In the 6 years in which you had known Jean you hadn’t ever expect an undercover mission taking place in Marley of all places.

He walked with your hand in his own, you smiling softly as you spoke nonchalantly to one another. It was unamusing and more a distraction than anything else. He picked the newspaper up on the stall, paying quickly as he walked back, you followed which felt more like being dragged along by his strong grip.

The way the top of his fedora sat on his now long hair, he heard about the victory of the Marleyans from a passer-by and with his hand in your own he opened the newspaper up. It was reconnaissance, you and him both knew you were supposed to act like one of these people even if they did think of you both as devils.

“I think we should visit that bar that woman told us about, a lot of the men there get drunk and reveal a lot.”

He looked down at you, your hands still connected. He had grown so much in all these years now reaching over 6ft, his long hair and scattered hairs along his chin making gorgeous. He had become the leader both you and Marco knew he would become.

“They’ll all stare at you, why would I want that?” he mutters.

You laugh at his antics, “you’re such an idiot.”

“You’re the one holding my hand.”

“Jean it’s a mission we have to pretend to be together for the performance.”

He raised an eyebrow you had full view of his face; his eyes were tired from the late nights working on the next plan of action. But most importantly, the fact that the two of you had to share a bed. He couldn’t even touch you as your small frame would sometimes push against his chest.

You smiled at the boy getting him out of his trance before skimming through the newspaper again. “We’ll go tonight after the meeting.”

You nod as the two of you walk towards the docks of Liberio. Both you and Jean were in the internment zone, a nice old woman allowing you to stay on top of her shop. Even with her being nice her opinions on titans and those within the walls were a lot cruller than u had expected.

It had been awkward the first time sleeping beside each other, you both looked up. Not facing each other but instead watching as the clock ticked away until one of you fell asleep. You both woke up wrapped in each other’s arms, and an awkwardness had set between you two from that night. You both would try to face away from each other but one way in another you ended up touching each other in some way.

He helped you up the stairs to where the little shop was kept, you both had gained some currency mostly from stealing it, but you never expected to stay here long. Only to find information until the true invasion would begin. Of course, the others were already here in their own recon missions, but you and Jean had been the first ones and had found out the most about this stupid town.

The biggest thing being that they hated Eldians of any type. You both walked through the double doors the woman smiling at how pretty you both looked together.

You had a meeting with the rest of the survey corps, Hange leading it, you got changed into what you’d wear to the bar knowing it was going to be a long night.

Jean stood at the door watching at how you easily took the dress off. You both didn’t care about changing clothes in front of each other, you’d seen worse from each other and it meant nothing after the tortures of titans.

The short dress fitted you perfectly and as Jean eyed you up and down, he craved any touch by you. He had taken the blue tie off and the suit jacket and waistcoat off leaving him in the white button up and trousers.

You smiled at how his hair stuck to the back of his neck, when he had first started growing his hair out you had loved it seeing the boy turn into a man. You both had changed since your cadet days and as much as you missed it you couldn’t say that being an adult didn’t have its perks.

“You know Y/n, I’d definitely accept any date proposals from you.”

You rolled your eyes at him, he always tormented you with the flirting. “Jean you really are a pain in my ass.”

“Such vulgar words from a pretty woman.”

You wanted to stab him with your ODM gear but instead stuck with jabbing him with your knee into his stomach. Normally when he was a lot younger it hurt him easily, but he seemed unfazed by the action almost finding it cute.

“Why did u have to grow so much? Short Jean was better.”

“Are you saying 15-year-old me is better than now me?”

You think back at the boy, bringing your finger to your chin. “Both you and 15-year-old you are pains to be around.”

He moves his face to your ear you could feel the hairs brush against your cheek from his chin as he spoke, “it’s okay Y/n we both know how you really feel.”

Rolling your eyes, he grabbed your hand almost out of instinct, you both leaving the shop as quickly as you came. Turning the many corners that Hange had told you to take after each different meeting.

The amount of walks you both went on should be unnecessary but the people of Liberio barely batted an eyelash at the two on you.

The dress was low cut and having all these new clothes made your heart warm up. You hadn’t worn different clothes in years, always the same uniform which you grew to dislike.

“Hange really sent us on a fucking expedition.” You mutter as you lean against Jean’s side.

He leads the way walking towards an unknown battered up building. It looked like it was being constructed and you were met with the scouts.

They eyed you both up your outfits standing out. “running late per usual.” Levi mutters.

As much as you had grown on Captain Levi, he still had a discomfort towards most of you. Both Jean and you let go of hands with ease standing beside each other. Before the meeting begun mostly talking about what had occurred and most significantly the defeat of Marleyans against the Mid-East.

“You know what that means, sometime soon is our time to act.” You professed, the new knowledge coming as a relief as it would soon be time for your plan to truly occur.

Armin and Mikasa spoke, the whereabouts of Eren being unknown due to his consistent disappearances. Watching these people grow you truly understood the mutual torment you all felt. As you were all dismissed all you could think about was the consistent opposition you all faced.

“I think the bars down here.” Jean retakes your hand as you smiled at him.

“Once this is over what do you think will happen.” You ask him softly.

“I don’t know.”

“Remember when we first met, and you were adamant on becoming an MP.” He listened raising an eyebrow. “Look at you now Mr Commanding Officer.”

You were proud of your friend he had worked hard to achieve this status. “You really are proud of me aren’t yah.”

You rolled your eyes gently hitting his side. “I’m telling the truth I’m proud of you.”

You had been timid in your choice of words you were proud, and he knew you were proud of him. Walking into the bar, the significant smell of alcohol mixed with sweat made you grossed out.

It was a rule to not drink under the survey corps and you hadn’t really cared for drinking. So, the sight of so many drunk people drove you mad, how easily a night of drinking could lead to a failed future.

Jean pulled out a chair for you before going to the bar, “I’ll get your favourite.”

You nodded playing with your fingers trying to listen in on the conversations that were occurring. Many Marleyans chatting shit about the Eldians and most specifically those of paradise island.

Your fist clenched as Jean brought two drinks out. “What is it?” You question looking at the red drink in front of you.

“You told me you liken cranberry juice once, i got you some”.

Your eyes widened at the boy, “Jean i said that like years ago.”

“Shows you how much i do care about you.” You rolled your eyes sipping on the drink. You both conversed but remained consistent with your spying on individuals.

“Those guys are talking about you.” Jean coughed out sipping his drink.

“I should go up to them i might get some information.”

“Don’t.” You raise an eyebrow going up to his ear. “They might steal you away.”

“This isn’t a date Jean, we’re undercover.” The way you spoke his name made him melt, he wanted to hear more of your voice specifically moaning his name out.

You stood up ready to go speak to them before you heard something come from their mouths. “If i ever saw one of those island folks I’d slit their throats and make their kids watch.”

You felt sick to the stomach by the comment and wanted to leave. Jean hadn’t heard it and as you stood frozen, he called out your name.

“Let’s get u outside.” He whispers taking your hand as you silently followed. “Are you okay?”

You nod, “I guess it just hit me we’re hated here the way the act towards us is the way we used to act against titans.”

You felt his arms wrap around you. He knew you hadn’t spoken much about the comments and that now you hit the realisation you’d confide in him more.

“I want to go back to the shop.” He nods as a comfortable silence settled in.

You cling to his arm wrapping your hands around his own. He loved the way you cling onto him like he was your protector, and you were his queen.

Walking down a long alleyway, you see some Marley men smoking and drinking. They’d be easy targets if you wanted to kill them, hearing them speak and whistle as you both walked past. Before one of them grabbing your wrist made Jean’s instincts kick in.

He punched the guy who had touched you, his filthy hands still lingering close to your body. The way Jean with ease was able to put down the two men who looked bruised and battered.

He put his hand out for you to take, he didn’t speak. Just bringing you the comfort you needed from this whole new world experience. Everything was so much bigger outside the walls and you couldn’t ever imagine putting innocent people in walls to keep them trapped.

The events of the night led to an uncomfortable silence once you arrived back to little room on top of the shop. He stripped his shirt off due to the excessive dirt it had got on it. You admired his body, the way each muscle sat perfectly on his abdomen.

You sat on the bed fidgeting with your clothes, you played with the hem of the dress which Jean could see your upper thigh from you doing.“Do you want to talk more about it?”

“I just… i guess it’s the reality.” You muttered as Jean sat beside you his shirt off. Titans seemed less scary than any of these indoctrinated Marleyans any day.

In the years Jean had known you seeing you vulnerable and passive made his heart ache. He took you by the hand letting you attach yourself to his side.

You were scared about the upcoming invasion and even worse you didn’t even know who you’d be fighting. The uncertain of it all being too much.

He walked up to you, moving closer to your smaller frame. “You didn’t have to punch those guys, I...I would’ve said something.”

“Y/n, you’ve been silent all night, you expect me to believe that you would’ve done something.” He bends down his knees touching the ground as he kneeled in front of you. His hands moving to your own stopping you from playing with your dress anymore.

Bringing your hands up to his mouth he kissed it as you could see some bruises, you stroked your thumb against the bruises hopefully it would settle down with some ice later. “What you said back in the bar?” You start to speak but you really had nothing to say, “about not going to those men.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt if you talked to them and…” He trailed off.

“And?” You question.

He looked up at your bright face filled with love and happiness something he hadn’t seen in a very long time. “And you bring joy, in a shitty world like this I guess you’re the only one who truly brings a smile on my face.”

“Jean when did you get so sappy.” You giggle at his flustered look.

“Oh, shut up.”

“Make me.” The tone in your voice was begging him to take you.

He rolls his eyes, his tongue flicking against the inside of his mouth as he stood up looking at you. He was even taller than before. You were a mouse compared to his frame; he bent his back bringing his face closer towards yours before a hand was placed on your cheek.

He closed the gap between the two of you, making your back hit the bed. His other hand moved to your side as he was on kissing you whilst he was on top. Your back arched at the movements wanting to feel his body on your own, as you deepened the kiss. Your hands in his long hair pulling his body closer to your own, as you felt the hardness come from his trousers.

“This was your plan all along, wasn’t its baby.” He spoke stoically a cocky grin plastered to his face.

You smirked as he let go of your lips, moving his mouth to your neck as he moved your dress down your body, with your collarbone and neck revealed for him. He left marks and sucked on spots making you moan his name loudly.

“I’d…I… would n…never.” The moans engulphed you, you craved him even more.

He had never expected to hear you moan his name, and the sound of it, with you underneath fuelled him even more to continue the act. You closed your eyes as he bit and sucked on your collar before licking the side of your neck. The saltiness it brought making him lick his lips before he went back to kissing you.

The kiss was deeper, quicker than it previously had been, you placed your hands on his exposed chest. The way a single touch from you sent shivers down his spine, “I’ve always like you, y’know.”

“I assumed so.” You giggled, his body was on top of you trapping you between his broad arms and shoulders. It was a sight and you loved it.

You brought yourself up leaning up with your elbows, your dress was half off you and the way he looked at you knew that what would happen tonight had been long awaited from many many years ago. 

proceed to part two here

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@samusimp @alaina-rose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage​ @jennammaee​ @cathy8taffy @sugacious​ @moonlightaangel

[aki-mochi]

Levi x Reader: Drunk Love

WARNING: NSFW!! Levi stood there, completely nude, in front of Erwin and Hanji as he covered his stuff while avoiding their gazes. His cheeks turning pink with his hair messy with fly-aways in every direction and his body covered in bites and hickeys. Erwin stood in Levi's living room, not amused, while Hanji was laughing until she was in tears.

"Sooo...you wanna tell me why you are...?" Erwin trailed off.

"I dunno....I-I...just woke up like this...."

"You were drinking last night, huh?" Erwin asked, more like stated.

"A little...." he mumbled, then clicked his tongue.

"Woooow Levi~!" Hanji laughed more.

"Shut up" Levi slightly growled as he tried to remember his actions last night.

~flashback~

Levi sat at a table in a bar with a few of his friends and co-workers, passing time and attempting to get away from the stress of work. Eren, who happened to be one of his best workers, offered him some food while drinking his drink. No sooner did another song start to play, a familiar woman entered the bar with Mikasa.

"I've never been in a bar.” Mikasa stated.

"We can't buy alcoholic beverages so we can just have water and some food. Give us some free time from all the work we've been asked to do." Y/n replied.

She nodded in agreement, looking around at her surroundings only to see the men at Levi's table looking towards them. Truth be told, Y/n and Mikasa worked in the same building as Levi, just on different floors. The two had met on a few occasions and even had small talk in the elevator whenever they were going to the same floor for meetings, but never actually got close to one another.

Levi glanced at the two as they came in and made a bit of a face. "I guess they're getting the same thing you are, Eren." He smirked behind his glass as he looked at Eren's drink suited for him being underaged. Eren pouted and gave somewhat of a glare towards his boss. "If you weren't my boss, and I wanted to not get fired, I'd slap you like I do Horse-face." He mumbled in his glass of apple juice.

"You sound like you're plenty drunk on apples," Levi stated as he set his glass down. "Now you finally have a chance to talk to that girl. I've seen you eyeing her at work." Hearing his comment, Eren did a spit-take with his drink; coughing and pounding his chest a bit. Once he got his breath back, he looked at Levi like he grew two heads.

"Are you insane or drunk?!" He slightly yelled in a whispered tone.

"I'm neither. You shout about being better at your job than The Titan Company down the road but you can't even talk to a girl."

"Yeah?! W-well what about the girl you stare at?! You seem like you stalk her!"

"The only time I even see her is on the elevator. Are you sure you aren't drinking beer?" Levi retorted.

"I'm underage to be drinking unless someone spiked it when I wasn't looking." Eren calmly stated as he took another drink.

"If no one did, they might need to so you can actually grow some balls for at least an hour and act like a man instead of a loud little kid."

Eren glared. "Shut the hell up....I do act mature. Just on some levels." He, then, turned away to stare at the ebony female with a slight blush on his slightly dark skin.

”Can you prove that?" Levi smirked at Eren's attitude.

"What did you say?" Eren growled, thinking his boss is picking a fight when he doesn't feel like throwing a punch while Mikasa is here.

"I said to prove that you aren't a child and go talk to her," Levi told him.

"Fine. I will." He suddenly stood up and walked towards the two sisters, feeling confident in his moves. Levi smirked as he watched, wanting to see how much of a train wreck it would turn into. But the minute Eren was only five steps away, he froze. His face turned a sheer scarlet red and felt his palms get sweaty. But what he didn't expect to happen, was that Mikasa noticed him and gave a small wave to him, making him lose his cool and speed-walking back to his seat before face planting the table. Mikasa flushed a faint pink but couldn't help to give a minuscule smirk from his failure to walk over.

"You’re a wuss" Levi muttered.

"Fuck you....." Eren mumbled against the table.

Levi smirked and took a sip of his whiskey before standing. "Let me show you how it's done," he stated as Eren groaned and watched him as he made his way towards the girls.

Levi walked over to the older of the two with a confident stride, the alcohol taking the edge off of his normal attitude. Y/n was too busy talking to Mikasa to notice him. Taking a french fry off her plate, she ate it and smiled as she was talking about her latest masterpiece for the company due to being in the advertising department. Mikasa mentioned a work project that’s due next week before looking over Y/n's shoulder to see the male.

"This seat taken?" Levi asked.

Y/n turned towards the voice of the male and her eyes widened. "M-Mr. Ackerman....! It's nice to see you again." She smiled softly at him.

"The same to you" he stated. "We don't see each other often. I thought we could talk."

"Of course! Come sit with me!" She smiled and patted the seat on the other side of her. He gladly sat, looking towards Eren and winking in success mainly to show off before talking to the two women. Eren growled and slammed his hands on the table and walked over once more before offering a hand at the grey-eyed female.

"May I sit with the beauty who I'm looking at~?" He asked with a smile.

Mikasa looked and blushed brightly at his words but nodded. “Sure."

With a small hum, Eren sat beside her before gently holding her waist to bring her closer to him. Her blush darkened, looking at her plate of food like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Y/n eyed the boy, a little surprised at his actions before drinking her iced water, smirking behind her glass as she knew Mikasa has a crush on him. Levi rolled his eyes, ignoring Eren as he talked to Y/n, keeping up a conversation about her interests. About an hour later, Levi was not feeling like his usual self. His cheeks were flushed while his eyes were dilated, black pupils taking up more of his steel-blue corneas. Y/n had offered to take him home while Mikasa stayed with Eren since he's completely sober. After that, Mikasa waved as she left with the green-eyed boy.

He tried to refuse, saying he was fine but she insisted, eventually giving up as he slumped over the table. Y/n slung one of Levi's arms around her neck; the other around his waist while leading him outside. Digging in his back pocket for his wallet and keys, she pressed a button to activate its panic alarm. Upon hearing a frantic horn, she turned to her left to see the flashing lights of a sleek black Ford Mustang. After calming the automobile, she gently helped a drunk Levi into the passenger side before slipping herself behind the wheel. Y/n opened up his wallet and found a small piece of paper with his name and address written in beautiful cursive. Pulling up the GPS on her phone, she punched in his home address to help her navigate before revving up the engine and beginning to drive to him home.

Levi did his best to keep the alcohol's side effects from taking over, grinning as he remembered the feeling of her hand in his pocket but stayed quiet until they got to his house. Once Y/n had gotten him out of his car and into his house, after she had unlocked the door with his keys, she walked him to his room and placed him in bed. She gave a small huff from how heavy he is for a short man. As she tried to leave the room, Levi had grabbed her wrist to keep her in place.

"(Y/n)," he muttered.

"Levi. You're drunk. You need to rest." She said softly so as not to hurt his pounding head.

"Only if you rest with me." He said, not because of how many shots he’s had, but because he’s wanted her since the first day he saw her and this was the only way he could get himself to say it. Y/n smiled and pried his hand off her arm so she could help him get comfortable by stripping him of his clothes. Y/n flushed a scarlet red when he was now only in his briefs which held a proud tent.

He smirked a bit as he watched her. "You can look if you want"

"I-I rather not, thank you...." she stuttered before going to find him some bed clothes he could wear; giving him time to look over her body that was shown by the jeans and shirt she's wearing. Her hair pulled up into a ponytail and her feet dressed in regular tennis shoes. He blushed from more than the booze in his system as he looked over her, letting her help him dress before laying in the bed with him. Y/n covered him up along with herself and sighed softly as she turned her back to him so she can sleep since it's after midnight.

But with Levi still drunk, he couldn't go to sleep. No. He didn’t want to go to sleep. He had a beautiful woman in his bed and he wanted her to be his woman. No one else’s. Levi took advantage of his drunk state and suddenly rolled Y/n onto her back, pinning her to the bed. She blinked, shocked from his sudden actions.

"L-Levi....?" she stuttered.

"Y/n.....~” he purred in her ear while sliding his hands up her shirt, making her shiver at his cold slender hands on her heated skin. "Let me love you," he whispered before colliding her lips with his own, making her body stiffen. She soon felt intoxicated by his touch and kissed him back, craving for more as she entangled her fingers into his soft black hair as she moaned.

Levi kissed her deeply as his hands made their way to her breasts, feeling the soft flesh against his skin. Arching her back at the feeling, she pulled away from his lips for air but gasping the minute he latches his own to her sensitive neck. She moaned his name when he bit her neck then pulled back with a smirk. Y/n looked down to see that Levi had, somehow, stripped her bare naked without her noticing. Trailing kisses down her body, she moaned and ran her fingers through his hair again as she closed her legs when he got between them. He rubbed her thighs soothingly before kissing them to help her relax. Once he thought she was ready, Levi opened her legs and placed his head between them. His tongue slid along her folds before flicking at her clit. Her hips jolted upwards while her fingers tugged at his hair, giving loud lewd moans.

Levi smirked and started to go faster, making her squirm and squeal in complete ecstasy as he tasted every inch of her. He then sucked her bundle of nerves into his mouth as his tongue did wonders. Y/n panted as she arched her back off the bed while her head flew back into the pillows, desperately wanting to move away but his hands held her down in place as he ravished her more. His teeth gently grazed her clit, making her lose control of the volume of her moans as they got even louder before she finally released with a squeak. But Levi kept going, making her beg as he continued to drain her of every drop before pulling off with a small pop. A trembling Y/n laid there panting heavily as Levi licked her clean, sitting up to look down at the beautiful sight under him. Levi chuckled and laid beside her with his arm draped over her waist.

Y/n calmed down from her overstimulated high before she made the bold move to pin him to the bed instead. Levi looked up at her in slight shock from the sudden move before his breath started to hitch when she started to rub the bulge in his pants. She hummed and stripped him bare of any clothes before suddenly going down to suck his cock. Levi's hips bucked at the sudden pleasure of her hot mouth on him, panting as he felt her tongue do circles around the tip.

"(Y-Y/n)~" Levi moaned as he gripped the sheets. "Ngh...! I-I'm gonna....! Ah!" he gave a loud moan as he came in her mouth. Y/n swallowed it all, a little disappointed that he came that quick, and sat up before marking him in hickeys and love bites, loving the sounds that were coming from his mouth. After she was satisfied with her work, she straddled his hips before pushing herself onto him, making her gasp and him moan. When she felt comfortable, she bounced on him as her hands rested on his chest. Loud slapping noises of skin colliding and loud moans filled the room. Y/n decided to bounce faster and go all the way down, earning her a loud moan from Levi as he gripped her hips to help her keep steady.

Pretty soon they both hit their high and came together. Y/n collapsed onto Levi's chest, panting heavily as he held her close to him. Having to pull out, he laid both their bodies on the bed and pulled her to his chest after covering them both with the blanket and going to sleep.

~back to the present~

Y/n walked out of the bathroom only to see a naked Levi standing there, in front of his boss and co-worker as he tried to suppress his blush. Smirking, the said female walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and satisfied hum.

"Don't worry, Mr. Smith~. Levi was a good boy last night with all the moans I made him do~."

At that, Hanji ran out with Erwin on her tail, trying to suppress their nose bleeds while Levi was a blushing mess at the moment from her comment. Y/n laughed at his reaction and kissed him briefly before giving him a warm smile and going to make breakfast. Levi sighed as he went back to his room to get dressed.

'Maybe getting drunk wasn't so bad after all......'

[lavenderdaisyhoney]

Maybe

Y/N x Jean Kirstein, Y/N x Reiner Braun

A/N: Please enjoy this little fic that came to mind as I was listening to The Weeknd’s ‘Save Your Tears’. I’ve been obsessed with this song lately and all the ideas that come to mind are angst filled so I apologize in advance for this. It does kind of have a light ending? Let me know if I’ve redeemed myself.

warnings: bar setting, angst, heartbreak. Please let me know if I’ve missed any!

Someone wise once told you that you could meet the right person but at the wrong time. You always naively laughed at that because it seemed so ludicrous. If someone was right for you, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make it work? It was that type of innocent thinking that led you to this unbearable road. The sound of the microphone being tapped pulled you out of your thoughts. You were at the dive bar you and your friends frequented.

“Hello. I’m Mikasa. Recently, I hurt someone who is near and dear to my heart.” She paused and looked down at her guitar, regret filled her face. “This song isn’t mine. You all might know it actually..” She chuckled. “The lyrics...they resonate with me. With what I’m going through right now.” She looked up from her guitar and focused on the crowd. “Well, here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy my cover.” She started to strum on her guitar. Mikasa’s seductive voice filled the bar as she sang her sorrow away.

“You could’ve asked me why I broke your heart

You could’ve told me that you fell apart.”

She was apologizing that she couldn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved and you knew he would accept it. You just knew. All the time he spent looking at Mikasa, you spent looking at him. You’ve been in love with him since you could remember and you were ecstatic when you two had started going out.

You thought that you finally had a chance, reality be damned. You ignored your friends who told you that it was just a rebound relationship. Thinking back now, you should’ve listened. You thought finally he could see what was right in front of him this whole time but you should’ve known that he wanted to see one person and one person only. Mikasa.

“I made you think that I would always stay

I said some things that I should never say.”

You wished that you hated her but you didn’t. She was kind, pretty, athletic, friendly, and strong. All the things you pretended to be. Before you lost yourself to your own thoughts, you realized something. You loved him. Even right now, as he looks at someone else the way he should be looking at you. Your heart ached because it knew that those feelings will never be reciprocated in the way you wanted them to be.

A lone tear made its way down your face as you turned to look at him. A quick glance at Jean’s ruggedly handsome face confirmed what you’ve been putting off for the longest time. You knew that look. That was the same look that stared back at you when you looked into the mirror. Heartbreak. It’s at that moment the agonizing truth of what you need to do hits you. He’ll never love you the way he loves her.

You let go of his hand, cold air quickly absorbed the brief warmth you felt as you walked towards the bar to pay off the tab. Eren was there, cleaning the glasses. When he saw you approaching, he set them aside and threw the towel over his shoulder. Sadness and anger twisted his beautiful features. He paused, as if he was too hesitant to ask. “You okay, Y/N?”

You smiled but you knew it wasn’t sincere. “I will be.” You picked at the edge of the counter with your fingers, hoping he couldn’t see how utterly broken you are.

“It’s not fun for me either. She feels things for him I could not understand. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to but one thing is for sure. Mikasa and I? We’re endgame.” He sighed. “She’s the love of my life and sometimes…just sometimes I doubt if I am the love of hers.”

That confession had you shook to your core as everyone knew that Eren and Mikasa were soulmates. “Eren. You and Mikasa…are truly soulmates. If you’re doubting that, it seems like you both need to have a talk. What’s happening right now is my own fault. I knew better but just for once I wanted to give into my wishful thinking. I wanted to feel what it would be like instead of always wondering.” You caught your breath, having said much more than you had wanted to say.

Eren looked at the stage and then looked back at you. “I’m really sorry things played out this way, Y/N.”

“That’s why I’m letting him go. Because we’re both hurting each other.”

You took out your wallet but he shook his head. “I’ll make him pay.” You’re afraid to ask what exactly he meant by that.

You placed it back in your pocket. “I uh, I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?” With a nod, you headed towards the exit.

You left without a single last look. You came to the conclusion that it was a luxury you could no longer afford…that he was a luxury. One that you weren’t good enough to have.

A rough bump to your shoulder pushed you out of your own head and caused you to stumble against the door. You almost lost your balance but a warm hand grabbed you by the elbow, steadying you.

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” A deep unfamiliar voice apologized.

You looked up and a pair of hazel eyes met your own. It seems like forever passed by as you both stared at each other. It didn’t escape you that his hand was still holding onto your elbow.

“Sorry about that.” He chuckled. “I’m kind of late so I was in a rush.”

Before you could reply back, a random guy you’ve only seen around a couple of times appeared behind you. “Hey Reiner, you’re late. We’re next on stage!”

Your perfect stranger nodded at his friend and his eyes met yours again. “I gotta go now. I hope to see you around here again sometime.” With that, he walked around you and into the bar.

You quickly exited and looked up at the sky, the moon appeared to be super bright tonight. That brief interaction replayed in your mind as you walked away into the night with your hands in your jacket pockets, a small grin on your face. Hmm, maybe it won’t be so bad. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in and realized your heart was little less heavier than before.

Maybe you will be back here again sometime.

Just maybe.

Taglist: @porcoqalliard @coffeeforday @lue-arlert @sinnerofthewalls @reiner69er @sunshinedragonofthewest @levis-hazelnut @oh-theseus @fierydiamond @maddieschai @honeyspalette @usernamehere91

[katsuhera]

levi, eren, armin & jean as roommates headcanons

wc: 1.8k

tw/warnings: nsfw tidbits included, mentions of mutual masturbation, alcohol, nothing much else though

a/n: after i wrote that foursome fic, my head started to get so full with thoughts of how they would be as roommates,,, so yeah here’s this HAHA (i might update with hcs for mikasa, sasha, connie, hange and erwin though so lmk if that’s something you guys would want!)

eren jaeger – sfw ↳ this man’s room STINKS. i just know. don’t even argue with me – i simp for him too, but there are just some truths we’ve got to accept 😭 ↳ on the flip side, though, if you confront him about his mess, he’ll genuinely try to get better for you! ↳ if you’re roommates in college, he’s always the roommate who’s going out to parties on the weekends or smoke sessions throughout the week ↳ eren simply cannot study in his room. he’ll try, but he just can’t focus because of this, he’s not the best at studying, but he’ll do his work when he really needs to – and he’ll be at a cafe or someplace that has a lot of background noise! ↳ he’ll randomly bring home drinks or food for you, especially if you’ve mentioned that you had a bad day or something – expect to be surprised with pedialyte (if you’re hungover), a hot meal (if you’re hungry), some snacks (if you were complaining about something), or a hug (if you just need a hug). ↳ he doesn’t like watching shows alone, so he’ll try to get you interested in the shows he watches so you can watch together! ↳ he knows he’s not the cleanest or the quietest, or at times, the most considerate, but he’s always trying to make up for it by remembering little things that you say or do. as a roommate, he’s constantly trying to do better but he makes up for his flaws by being an amazing friend to you eren jaeger – nsfw (18+) ↳ he fucking loves watching you do literally anything. ↳ washing dishes? you look so sexy, your hair falling down haphazardly yet still perfectly framing your faces drives him crazy. ↳ when you come out of the bathroom, freshly showered and a towel only partly covering your body? please it’s like you do this on purpose to him. he can barely look at you for two seconds without needing to awkwardly maneuver himself back to his room, covering his boner

you lie on your bed, quiet and trying to muffle your moans to the best of your ability as you touch yourself, teasing yourself as you glide your fingers lightly across your slick folds. the thought of your roommate lying on the other side of the wall, next to you, raises goosebumps across your skin, causing your pussy to clench around nothing (well, is it nothing or is it your vivid imagination, the thought of eren being there between your thighs instead of your fingers?)

your breathing turns into shallow pants, your chest heaving and back arching against your bed as images of eren fill your mind; the way beads of water would drip from his collarbone and slide down his chest, the way beads of sweat would glisten against his adam’s apple when he came home from the gym.

the coil inside you snaps, and you’re engulfed in waves of white hot pleasure as you lose yourself in your dirty little fantasy.

little did you know, though, that eren heard you, each time you’ve touched yourself. you aren’t as secretive as you think you are, and it takes all of his being to not barge into your room and replace your fingers with his own each time the sounds of your labored breathing fill the air. he lay on his own bed, the bed he’d deliberately placed right by the wall that separated your rooms, pumping his cock and feeling it stiffen in his hands as he imagined you being there, your hands on his cock instead of his. maybe, just maybe, one day, your fantasies would come true.

levi ackerman – sfw ↳ your house is spotless. if you share a room – like in college dorms – then your room is spotless. ↳ levi is very particular to smells, and there’s always a fresh smelling candle going ↳ he’s extremely perceptive to your tells. ↳ he can notice the difference in the way you smile and the way you act in different moods or situations, and pretends not to care or notice, but when you’re feeling down or upset, he’ll always have a cup of tea ready for you, or your favorite meal on the table ↳ levi’s never really one for loud, obnoxious gestures, but he finds it secretly really important to make you feel comfortable and happy as a roommate, so he does all these little kind gestures to brighten your day (and you notice and thank/call him out on it, but he’ll just scoff and turn away, acting like that’s what any normal person would do and it’s nothing special on his part) ↳ a lot of the time, his words or actions may come across as seeming as though he’s just obsessed with cleaning, but a lot of the time, it comes out of wanting to make the living space comfortable for you. ↳ because he’s always paying attention to how you are and how you’re doing, his fixations with your house/room come partly from knowing what would make you feel better! levi ackerman – nsfw ↳ he doesn’t jack off that much, but when he does, it’s quiet and you could literally never tell. it’s usually after you sleep! ↳ and a lot of the times, it’s to the thought of you laying in bed next to him, your fingers wrapped around his pretty cock instead of his own. ↳ he fantasizes about taking you from behind, while you’re in the middle of some mundane task

“levi?” you stammer, confused by the pair of hands roaming your body that took you by surprise as you were putting the dishes away. “w- what are you doing?”

he doesn’t answer, but merely slides his hands under your clothes, making you gasp at his touch. he has a strong grip, massaging and kneading your flesh and humming appreciatively as you mold into his touch.

your knees buckle slightly as he sticks a leg between yours, spreading them and sending a slight jolt of electricity to your core. as he presses himself against you, the feeling of his hard bulge against you surprises you, rendering you speechless.

armin arlert – sfw ↳ god armin is just an amazing roommate all around ↳ kind, considerate, clean, down to go out here and there to have fun, very open to late night drives or food runs ↳ has a shit load of vitamins. like his entire top shelf is just bottles and bottles of vitamins (propolis? vitamin c? vitamin d? b-12? iron supplements? he has them all) ↳ he’s very much one of those people who can study efficiently at their bedroom desk, but if you can’t, he’s always down to look for other study spots wherever you are! ↳ he’d be into cafe-hopping with you. it would be like your little roomie weekly adventure, and it’s always the highlight of your weeks ↳ like levi, he’s super receptive to what bothers you or annoys you. he can always tell if you’re doing okay or not, and can usually figure out just the thing that’ll make your day better ↳ he uses a weighted blanket and you two sit/lie under it as you watch movies on netflix together armin arlert – nsfw ↳ weirdly, i feel like drunk sex happens a lot with you two as roommates. ↳ armin isn’t one to use alcohol or substance in general to take advantage of you – but you have a lot of wine nights, a lot of cocktails here and there as you relax and lounge around on weekends or after particularly difficult days, one night, one thing just leads to another ↳ armin is really good about not letting your relationship get weird or sour, he’s very honest and open with his feelings, and so you’re able to communicate easily about what kind of relationship you want to navigate with him afterwards

“mmm,” you moan, lolling your head back onto the couch as armin’s lips sloppily explore the sensitive skin on your neck. “armin, i thought we promised each other we’d actually watch the movie tonight.”

“we live together,” he replies breathily. “we have all the time we could possibly need to watch that movie.”

the alcohol heightens your senses, and your head spins as all of your focus is diverted to the sucking of armin’s mouth on your neck, eliciting light moans from you as you turn your face to face him, and try to bring his lips up to your mouth instead.

he grabs your waist and pulls you onto his lap, hungrily enveloping your lips in an open-mouthed kiss, half-lidded, hazy blue eyes drinking in the sight of you, pretty lips swollen thanks to him. it’s just too easy with armin.

jean kirschtein – sfw ↳ i actually feel like jean isn’t messy at all! ↳ ugh the ONE thing i can see myself faulting him for, though, is that he’s definitely a gym rat. ↳ he’ll try to make you go on morning runs with him or go to the gym when all you want to do is curl up in bed and eat some chips, like pls jean 😭 NOT TODAY ↳ he’s really good at keeping you guys well-fed (but with good, nutritious food). ↳ i definitely feel like he’s a great cook (he gets it from his mom), and he’s always checking in on you to make sure you’ve eaten enough/like what you eat. he’s also always forcing water on you LOL, but it’s a good thing. jean is very conscious of how much water he drinks on the daily, so you can bet that your brita pitcher is always refilled ↳ jean sings in the shower really loudly and it doesn’t bother you, but it did surprise him to find out that you could hear it. ↳ he found out because one time, he was singing one of your favorite songs, and after he stopped and left the bathroom, you had continued from where he left off ↳ and you looked so cute, all absentminded, hands busied with some menial task while you hummed/sang the lyrics from where he had stopped jean kirschtein – nsfw ↳ seeing you cook/do literally anything can get him going, similar to eren. but especially cooking ↳ the slender curvature of your neck as it leads into your collarbones that are partially hidden under your top – pls it leaves jean imagining all kinds of things he loves cooking with you, but not in the traditional sense ↳ he’s right behind you, hands wrapped around yours as he presses into you from the back and nuzzles your cheek with his, nestling his chin into the crook of your neck. 

“jean,” you whine. “not now. dinner’s almost ready.”

jean ruts into you from behind and presses your lower stomach closer into him, his palm flush against your body.

“but look what you’re doing to me now. fuck dinner,” he says lowly into your ear, his facial hair grazing against your skin.

teasingly, you arch your back into him, pressing your ass even harder against his bulge, smiling softly to yourself as you hear him growl lowly in response.

“dinner can wait,” he says, grabbing you by the waist and spinning you around to face him. “i need you – now.”

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[ezwezz]

OH MY GOD I LOVED YOUR HEADCANONS POST ON WHAT THE CHARACTERS PERSONALITIES WOULD BE LIKE IN MODERN DAY! WHAT HOBBIES DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD HAVE TOO?

wow thank you so much!! it really means a lot :)) also thanks for the suggestion!! <3

Eren:

- tbh, I can see Eren as a hardcore gamer. not just because he's an angry soul but I can see him needing something to release his angst and stress, therefore I think fast-paced, fairly simple gaming would work the trick for him.

Mikasa:

- ahh mikasa is amazing at embroidery seeing as her mum taught her at a young age.

- she uses it to escape the moment and take her mind off the day, usually getting carried away and designing an entire display of perfectly stitched artwork.

Armin:

- I feel like Armin really loves to read. not just because he's canonically a nerd, but I also think he reads to feed into his wild imagination.

- Armin definitely has bedtime scenarios he creates based off books.

Jean:

- not only is Jean good at art, I can also see him being amazing at singing- although he never does it in front of anyone.

- his voice is very gravelly- like something you'd hear in modern rock. if you're close with him, he might mumble a quiet tune whilst the two of you chill.

Connie:

- I can definitely see Connie playing the guitar.

- when there's people around he'll get nervous and just play 'wonderwall' for the jokes, but when he's alone he'll play a lot more advanced, serious songs and simply get lost in the music.

Sasha:

- we all know Sasha is great at archery, but in modern times I can't really see that being her thing. instead I reckon she's an awesome swimmer.

- she's probably won a bunch of races and entered loads of competitions but she doesn't take it too seriously therefore nobody's aware of her hobby.

Reiner:

- aside from working out, I feel like Reiner has a lot of unresolved issues in his head therefore he does a lot of meditation to wind down before bed.

- he's never told anyone except bertholdt (whether that's a romantic or platonic bond, you can decide).

Bertholdt:

- I definitely headcanon Bertholdt being into tenis like I mentioned in my last post. I can also see him doing golfing since it's a lot more chill and he likes to have a balance.

Annie:

- I think on the most part, Annie being a fighter as a hobby makes a lot of sense and I reckon she'd definitely take part in some form of martial art.

- on the other hand, I can also see her needing a calmer, more peaceful hobby on the sidelines therefore I believe she'd play the piano when she's alone.

Erwin:

- I would love to say erwin has a not-so grandpa-like hobby however I can't shake the aching truth of him being invested in collecting stamps.

- he 100% has a book just filled with stamps from various decades and different areas.

- he takes a lot of pride in his collection as hange and levi have had a full briefing on the backstory of every single stamp he owns.

Levi:

- It may sound a bit of a reach however I can totally see Levi volunteering at an animal shelter of sorts.

- I've put some thought into this one and came to the conclusion that he's an animal person. he thinks animals are so much better than humans and if he could, he would stay at the shelter all day simply venting to the animals- they never interrupt, judge or try to understand, they're simply there to listen and he appreciates that more than anything.

Hange:

- Hange would 100% love to travel and learn about different cultures.

- They love the sheer thrill of experiencing new things and seeing different sights therefore they would probably choose to backpack across countries instead of going on proper holidays. it allows them to experience everything so much more authentically and realistically.

Historia:

- I think Historia is such a poetic-minded individual since her entire childhood had been formed through literature. with that being said I think she'll love to write.

- she was completely inspired by novels at a young age and would give anything to allow others to experience the same wonder she felt at the time.

Ymir:

- Ymir would absolutely love competitive sport. I can ultimately see her playing football (or soccer...whatever floats your boat.)

- she enjoys the thrill and pressure of the match. (she also likes the cheerleaders but we won't get into that).

Hitch:

- I definitely see Hitch being a dancer, and no, not just tiktok dancing.

- I think she'll enjoy doing contemporary dance styles like ballet and slow dancing since it's her way of venting the tougher emotions she keeps bottled up.

Pieck:

- Pieck is a plant mother.

- there's no explanation for this one, she just owns an entire habitat of plants. (she has names for each and every one of them and may or may not bawl her eyes out when one of them dies).

Porco:

- Porco is definitely a rugby lad.

- ramming into people and knocking them off their feet with sheer bodily force is his form of therapy. it also gives him a lot of confidence in himself which he wouldn't have if he'd never taken up sport in general.

Onyankopon:

- Onyankopon is a pro at chess and you cannot change my mind.

- I can see him being amazing at strategy games since he loves to put his mind to work in a competitive style.

Yelena:

- eat, sleep, worship zeke.