#but why did when I apply for the job I felt kinda bad for screwing them over if I take the job when it’s not my fault that I need to do

[softforallofit]

alright besties <3 just applied for a job that I’m so excited for! I really hope I get it. 🤞🏻fingers crossed!

[raideo]

Bruh ...... let me tell you, I actually started paying attention to my nutrition intake and I was not eating as healthy as I thought I was like goddamn...

I mean the things I was eating WERE healthy but like, the pacing/frequency of food intake, ratio of macronutrients and micronutrients were completely and utterly fucked six ways from Sunday, I had no idea my diet was so screwed up and thats why I felt like I was DYING ALL THE TIME!!!!!! BECAUSE I KINDA FUCKIN WAS, LMAO!!!!!

I feel like a whole different person this is the best thing ive ever done for myself omg

If you feel like shit all the time please consider getting a nutrition tracking app and DONT!!! DO IT FOR WEIGHT LOSS!!! THAT SHOULD NOT BE YOUR GOAL UNLESS YOU NEED TO FOR HEALTH REASONS, Just do it with the goal of trying to get the macro/micronutrients you should be getting and oh my god it will make such a difference if your diet is unbalanced I promise you.

I was not getting nearly enough protein or fiber before omfg. No wonder i could exercise as much as i wanted and i never seemed to get stronger and i always fucking hurt all the time! Jesus christ!!! 🤦‍♂️ i feel so stupid but also I cannot be the only one who struggles with this PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BALANCE YALLS DIETS

Also extra note about the fiber- if you get very little you should not go straight to getting the full recommended amount you will have a BAD TIME. Im glad I knew about this already and did not have to learn it the hard way. You gotta give your body days or sometimes weeks to adjust to increasing it, because gut bacteria is responsible for helping you digest that stuff and if you don't have enough they cannot handle a large amount- you gotta give them time to multiply 👍 (i cant believe my fish tank cycling knowledge applies to my own human body this shit is wild)

Anyway nutritional education in this country is fucked so bad, overhauling my diet has only made me more angry that shit is so expensive and school/workplace culture is so hostile to you snacking often like you should be. How the fuck is a person supposed to get the nutrients they're supposed to to fuel their body and brains when they're only allowed to eat once like every 6-10 hours?! Im so glad my job doesn't have an issue with me constantly snacking on stuff because it's extremely physical and I have come to realize it's quite literally imperative to my body's optimal function that I have that.

🪓 capitalism die

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

[wincestismyguiltypleasure]

Warnings: Weecest, a little angsty, jealous!Sam, bratty, emotional, and confused baby brother content, feminization, name calling, humiliation, sadist!Dean, spankings, and of course, that sweet, sweet fucked up codependency. 💋

--------------

Sam just wanted Dean's attention. He always had.

And when he didn't get it, Sam felt not only emotionally, but physically injured by his brother's "neglect." Like Dean had taken his switchblade to Sam's heart, cutting it open just a little bit to play with it. As if he was curious to what was inside. Like Dean had no clue know that every vein, artery, and nerve worked in unison for him.

And over the years, that small wound had ripped open wider and wider on it's own, even though it was no secret that Dean's life had always revolved around Sam.

Perhaps it was a product of Sam's jealousy? His resentment towards John and the unshakable devotion Dean showed him?

Sam didn't really know. But no matter the cause, what was once a dull ache in Sam's chest was now a blinding pain. The only hope of soothing it resting solely on his big brother's touch.

And the worst part about it? Dean knew. He knew Sam was desperate for something so simple as a sideways glance or a pat on the back. Sam would poke and prod and tug at the hem of Dean's shirt for just the slightest bit of recognition, like he really didn't know that he was already the very center of his big brother's entire world.

It was infuriating sometimes, and it made Dean want to be cruel just to prove a point. Besides, at the end of the day, Dean was still Sam's big brother. Ignoring him was part of Dean's job description. And maybe, just maybe, Dean got a sick sense of satisfaction out of making Sammy beg like a slut for something that was already his.

"Dean, c'mon! Pay attention!"

John had only been gone for ten minutes before Sam was shaking Dean's leg violently, trying to make his brother look up from the magazine he was reading.

"Jesus Christ, Sam. Can't you leave me alone for five fucking seconds?"

Dean doesn't have to see Sam's face to know the younger boy is pouting; the corner of his lips turning up in a twisted smirk at the thought of his little brother's pretty eyes starting to water.

There's no answer to Dean's question, just a loud huff and the sound of the bathroom door slamming, rusty screws barely keeping it on the hinges.

And if Dean didn't get such a kick out of being an asshole to his needy little brother he might have felt bad for hurting Sam's feelings. But he doesn't, mainly because this was all part of the sick, fucked up game they'd been playing since Sam had turned sixteen. This volatile give and take, back and forth, born out of Sam's misguided pain. The younger boy thinking that Dean loved John more than him and Dean's cutthroat determination to prove his little brother wrong. To show Sam that even if he isn't looking, he's still paying attention. And that he couldn't stop paying attention to Sam even if he tried.

Honestly, Dean still gets a little hot under the collar thinking about the first Sammy pushed his buttons like this. He'd been both mortified and so disgustingly turned on when he found out that his sweet baby brother knew just how to act bratty and coy to get fucked through the mattress. God, Dean was so pissed and guilty about it at the time that he'd almost thrown up afterwards.

Even now, Dean feels kinda queasy. But the feeling is so simple to ignore this go around because he's also rock hard and shaking a little from the anticipation.

Oh, and of course, Sam makes him wait. Almost two fucking hours. Tiny beads of water still dripping from the younger boy's long, dirty blonde hair when Sam finally emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of lacy blue panties and a triumphant smile.

"Seriously, Samuel?" Dean asks, trying his best to keep his voice steady as he tosses his magazine to the side and sits up.

But Sam, being the shameless little tease that he is, just grins wider and does a slow turn. Making sure to show off every sharp curve and flawless inch of sun kissed skin he had before looking over at Dean and giggling.

"Think you can ignore me now, big brother?"

Sam barely gets the words out before Dean is off the bed, marching over to him with purpose, not stopping until the two of them are only a few inches apart and his baby brother's eyes are wide with fear.

"What do you want, Sam?" The older boy asks through gritted teeth, even though the answer is so painfully obvious.

And even though it is, Sam can't say it. He's never been able to because it's Dean's job to know. Without Dean guiding the way, Sam's just a confused kid with a need so intense and overwhelming that it could swallow him whole. And it would, if it wasn't for Dean.

Dean knows what Sam wants, and Sam hates the fact that he doesn't hate his brother for making him feel this way.

But still, he can't talk and he can't explain, so instead Sam just whines. Taking a timid step forward into his brother's personal space, searching for pity with those big innocent doe eyes. And fuck, does that do the trick. Every. Single. Time.

"What, baby?" Dean asks again, this time softer, his expression lightening as he grabs Sam by the wrist to pull him closer.

"Dean."

Sam's knees feel wobbly. His heart threatening to pound out of his chest because there's nothing in the world more intoxicating and simultaneously terrifying than looking into Dean's gorgeous green eyes when they're full of rage and passion.

"You want this?" Dean's voice is rough, like cigarette smoke blown over shattered glass as he guides Sam's trembling hand between his thighs. Pressing his little brother's warm palm hard against his erection before he makes Sam squeeze just a little, the both of them letting out a breathy groan.

"Please Dean," Sam whimpers, knees nearly buckling when Dean leans forward with a filthy grin, cherry red lips ghosting lightly over Sam's. The older boy teasing him like he always did. Pretending like wasn't eventually going to give Sam everything he wanted and more.

"Say it."

Sam's stomach clenches at the command, throat going dry because he hates this part. (Or at least Sam pretends that he does.)

"I want..." Sam groans, eyes closed tight as Dean nuzzles against him, making Sam go crazy with need. "I want your cock. Please Dean."

When Sam hears Dean chuckle, a low, filthy sound that makes his insides feel unbearably hot, Sam almost starts crying again. He's so naive and inexperienced compared to Dean. And Dean knows Sam feels like an idiot when his big brother makes him talk dirty. Which is exactly why he does it. The bastard.

"I know you do, baby boy," Dean laughs as he takes a step back, and Sam swears he feels his heart detach and drop into his stomach. Long, bony fingers instinctively trying to curl around Dean's shirt but to no avail.

"Dean-"

Sam's temper tantrum is cut short when Dean sits down on the foot of the bed and raises a hand, the look on his face calm but dangerous and it makes Sam almost swallow his own tongue.

"C'mere and lay across my lap."

"Why should I?"

Sam's voice doesn't sound like his own when he challenges his brother. It's weak and breathless and honestly, Sam can't believe an apex predator like Dean didn't go for his throat right then and there.

"You've been buckin' for my attention all day, sweetheart. You got a better way to get it?"

God, Sam wishes he did because the last thing he wants is to give in so easily. But what Sam's been dying for is right here in front of him now. Ripped jeans wrapped tight around thick thighs that he'd sell his soul to be bent over and Sam isn't about to turn down an open invitation.

"Gotta hand it to you, little brother," Dean says when Sam's finally stretched out across his lap. Sam's pretty face, flushed and tear stained, hidden in the mattress as Dean starts to soflty rub circles against his ass. "Despite all that fuss, you really are an obdient little bitch."

"Fuc-"

Sam nearly gags on his insult when he feels Dean's palm, rough and warm, connect with his right ass cheek. The blow hard enough to make his whole body jerk, tears of frustration rather than pain starting to blur his vision as he squirms in Dean's lap.

"Dean, please," Sam begs, his tight panties completely soaked through as he rubs himself desperately against Dean's thigh. His cock so hard and swollen that he feels a little dizzy, pleasure and pain fighting for dominance in his mind. Every one of his nerve endings on fire as Dean continues his ruthless assault. Each gentle touch followed by a thunderous smack that Sam swears makes his teeth rattle.

"Hey, don't cry, baby boy," Dean whispers when one of his rough blows finally rips a sob from Sam's throat. "This is what you wanted right? My undivided attention?"

Sam chokes back the urge to tell Dean that he hates him. One, because he doesn't. They both know that. And two, because if Sam doesn't swallow his pride soon and play by Dean's rules, he knows he'll never get want he really wants. That's what all this is about after all. Sam's insatiable need and Dean's absolute willingness to provide.

"C'mon, Sammy. You're a smart kid, you know what your answer should be."

Sam's only response is a loud, wanton groan, his knuckles turning chalk white around the blanket beneath him when he feels the tip of Dean's finger, rough and slick with spit, tease his rim. Pressing just hard enough to make Sam's hips jerk, but not applying quite enough pressure to slip inside him.

"Yes," Sam croaks, daring to push back against his brother's finger only to be rewarded with a smack to his right ass cheek that makes him see stars. "This is what I wanted."

"I know it is, slut."

Dean's finger feels wetter this time, hotter. And Sam's not expecting his brother to push in so deep, his eyes rolling back in pleasure when Dean barely grazes his prostate, clearly torturing Sam for all the shit he'd put him through that day. An eye for an eye was most definitely the Winchester way.

"You want me to finger fuck this tight little pussy until you make a mess all over your cute panties, don't ya baby boy?"

"Yes! Fuck Dean please." Sam isn't even trying to hold back his sobs now, big salty tears rolling down his cheeks as he wiggles around in Dean's lap. Desperate for his big brother to fuck him deeper. But before he can get the leverage he needs, Sam's empty again, mouth hanging open as Dean's next blow makes his whole body rock forward involuntary, neglected cock throbbing painfully against the worn denim of his brother's jeans.

"I'll give you want you want, Sammy," Dean coos, caressing Sam's battered skin with his palm. "I always do. But first, I'm gonna teach you a lesson about acting like a brat."

Of course, Sam's been taught this lesson before and it hasn't seemed to stick. But it doesn't matter, because they both know as long as Sam craves his big brother's attention, Dean will gladly put him in his place give it to him.

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill

[samwritesforyou]

Hi!! Just wanted to pop in and say that I love your writing💙 and if you are taking requests? If so, would you please write something about reader being a famous singer and diego is the bodyguard. Reader is kinda infatuated with diego but diego is oblivious, saying that he has to be professional about this new job. I know the prompt is kinda long, sorry about that. But I would love to read something like that🤗

Hii!!! Thank you so much, this means a whole lot to me because I'm kinda going through a tough time and the only thing that keeps me consistently going and feeling creative is just... doing this, writing. so i actually did get heavily inspired by this and thought of a little something! sorry if its not entirely what you had in mind, but that's just what popped into my mind!

On my guard (pt. 1)

part two

Warnings: gender-neutral reader

Wordcount: 2k

You’ve been with your company for a year now. Ever since you signed with them, you weren’t sure what to expect. And honestly, you would never even guess that your passion for singing could lead you this far and you’ve been damn proud of yourself. 

Everything was going well, even the fame was rising - what actually scared the crap out of you, but you were trying to hold it together - so now your manager decided to give you a bodyguard. 

That happened around two months ago, just when you started going around for all kinds of interviews, events and shootings for the magazines.

The company you started working with wasn’t the most popular one, thus their budget wasn’t infinite either. For now, your manager and some bosses above them decided that they’ll try out giving you only one security man. As mentioned already, their budget wasn’t infinite.

And you’d never believe anyone if they would tell you that you would fall for your previously mentioned “guardian”.

You were just on a soundcheck for your ten minutes feature on the upcoming musical event, so you were concentrated on the choreography and keeping your voice steady as you moved around. Suddenly some lights on the podium flickered and turned off. You heard curses from the technical team over on the other side of the spacious room and sighed, realising that this malfunction is giving you a sudden mandatory break from the practice.

Your eyes immediately found their way to his face. Soundchecks were one of the rarest occasions when he didn’t have anything to do - meaning, guarding you - and he always spent it looking at you.

Your music, you guessed. Probably not at you specifically.

Diego... your mind mused and you were already smiling brightly at him. He was so... pretty and caring. Something that goes even beyond his job description, you felt like.

All he did was a faint smirk back with a curt nod of his head.

You sighed and easily jumped off the stage, walking to him until you could stand next to him, back leaning on the barricade behind the two of you.

“How’s it going today, Diego?” you weren’t looking at him now, your gaze focusing on the scene in front of you as some guys started running back and forth, fixing cables and shouting something at each other from the distance.

He shuffled a little next to you, making the space between you bigger now. Diego wasn’t looking your direction either.

“As much as I like these kinds of days, I feel like I’m wasting my time and your money,” you felt his eyes finally stopping for a split second on you, then turning back to its original spot again, “I mean, for the majority of the day there are no people to guard you from,” he spread his hand across the podium before your eyes, demonstrating that there was only staff present.

“Is it that bad?” In your head, the question sounded more jokingly, but the second it left your lips it fell quite heavily between the two of you.

“I mean... no,” he said more quietly, “I just don’t feel professional like this.”

Your face eased with a hint of a smile, swallowing a laugh so you don’t look like you’re making fun of him.

“Diego, how many times am I supposed to tell you that you’re doing your job amazingly? Above average, 11 out of 10 experience,” you said, trying to squish at least some emotion out of him.

This made him chuckle, which you counted as a huge success.

He was obsessed with being professional and good at his job. On one of the long nights in the queue to the interview, he told you that he used to do some work before applying and getting assigned to this, but he’s still new to looking and acting presentable. And he just didn't want to screw this up.

Your relationship, on the other hand, went from professional to friendly quite fast. You realised that you weren’t this friendly even with the staff members that you knew way longer than him. Your chemistry was on point, you guessed.

And you already buzzed to all your close friends that you have a thing for your new bodyguard. But sadly enough, you never had tremendous success in love life and all the people you’ve fallen in love with over the years never liked you back. Or some pretended that they did. And it hurt, but you learned a whole lot from these experiences.

Yet you still found yourself slowly falling for this rare smile of his, his dark eyes focused on you from time to time and this feeling of calmness that he brought to you whenever you were near each other.

“y/n?” You suddenly felt a light tap on the shoulder, hand lingering on your bare skin.

You looked up, meeting Diego’s eyes. You didn’t want to lie to yourself but you were almost certain that there was some kind of tension between the two of you.

He didn’t let go of your shoulder yet - making your heart beat faster suddenly - and nudged with his head towards the stage, raising eyebrows.

“Thinkin’ about something, y/n? They fixed the lighting, you can go back on,” he said, finally letting go of you and you just opened and closed your mouth, no sound coming out.

Then you just nodded, smiling a little before running off to the podium, finishing the rehearsal. 

.

.

“Right now you’re going to go through that exit, alright?” said one of your managers. Voices were buzzing all around you and you felt fucking overwhelmed. “I know, we messed up, y/n, we’re really sorry. But you have to go through the main exit because there’s been some stuff going on in the emergency exit where you were supposed to leave at,” they said hurriedly, shuffling with you through the crowd of people. Your own staff mixed with strangers.

“Okay, okay!” you had to yell in their direction to be heard, “explain to me again, why is this such a huge deal?!”

“Because,” the woman stopped you by the shoulders, looking you dead in the eyes, “you’re famous now. You might not realise it, but if you go out there now, there’s going to be tons of fans waiting for a possible celebrity, alright? I admit, it is a mistake from the management, and you will be compensated, but. It is what it is now, okay? Brace yourself, y/n!” and with that you were left on your own, only with Diego in front of you, pushing through to give you some space to get to the exit.

The concert wasn’t done yet, but your part was finished and you needed to get to a different shooting right away after this.

You were starting to lose the sight of your bodyguard as more and more people were packed in the crowd, making it hard to go through. “Shit,” you cursed and spat on all the policies by grabbing his hand and holding it tightly.

He looked back at you for a split second, making sure it’s you, whom he’s leading right now.

“It’s gonna get messy!” you heard him say, only taking your hand more comfortable into his, grasping tighter.

You felt the heat radiating from your palms clapped together, and even felt his thumb rub over your hand?...

Must’ve been the imagination. And the wild one, at that. You’re for the first time holding your crush’s hand and it had to happen in this rushed and overwhelming scenario. Of course.

But once you made it out of the venue it only got worse. Here, people start recognising you almost instantly. There were no restrictions on personal space and your only shield was Diego.

“Y/n!” “Y/n, you’re so amazing, let’s take a picture!!” “I love you, y/n!” “What, y/n??? I was expecting the other artist to come out of here now! Go away!” 

All types of comments flooded your ears and your heart was pounding in your chest. You felt like you were gonna rip away Diego’s hand from his arm, that’s how much you were clutching it.

You almost made it to the familiar car parked on the side when someone took you by the shoulder from behind, making you slow down and in a surprise your hand slipped from your bodyguard’s, leaving you open to the crowd around you.

There were eyes, mouths, faces, spit, breaths, all kinds of perfumes and smells erupting around you and it was driving you crazy, all you wanted was to get out of there.

“Diego!” you yelled out and the next thing you know he’s already there again, next to you, basically hugging you from behind, his body fully pressed to yours, hands on your hips and he easily turned you two around, making your way once again to the car.

His one hand was up in the air in front of you as some literal shield that people were trying to get through until you made it to the destination.

He almost threw you into the front seat, closing the door behind you and you instantly locked it from the inside, letting out a shaky breath.

Then you heard Diego land on the seat next to you and start the engine.

Once you were on the road through the woods, you looked up out of the window and started crying.

That was too much.

You couldn’t concentrate on anything during your breakdown, only hearing a faint bodyguard’s voice when he called someone as he was driving you straight home.

.

.

“Wasn’t I supposed to have some other photoshoot today? For that.. magazine?” you said quietly, still sitting in the car, not daring to move.

You were parked outside of your place, soft tunes playing on low volume through the radio.

“Yeah, but I called your manager and they said it’s okay to skip it. I explained the situation and they told me that you should rest. Really, y/n,” he already hovered his hand above your thigh - probably wanting to pat it in reassurance - but decided against it, curling his palm into a fist and just putting it back onto his own knee and looking away.

“I don’t wanna be alone tonight,” you just said, watching his whole internal crisis about showing affection and pulling your legs up to your chin, hugging them.

“Do you want me to call someone?” Diego asked, still not looking into your direction.

“Maybe you can stay?..” you said carefully, looking at him.

And not only because of the crush thing. You just... didn’t want to talk to anyone about this and since he was there when it happened, you could possibly find comfort in his presence at the moment.

He finally shifted his eyes, his dark orbs meeting yours. Your look lingered for way longer than it probably should, until he finally spoke up.

“Stay?... Like..” you saw him getting actually flustered about the rest of the sentence, ears reddening and all.

“What are you thinking about?!” you said, laughing and smacking him on the shoulder with your hand, “I just meant.. to stay as a sleepover, you know. Just hanging out. I don’t think I wanna see anyone who might not know what I’m going through,” you added more quietly, slipping into the sad thoughts again, but Diego quickly pulled you out of it once more.

“Oh!” he almost gasped, eagerly nodding and clearing his throat, “sure, I.. yeah. Yeah. I don’t know if it’s professional or not, to just... hang with you like this, but. I think you do need some company,” Diego said, smiling a little bit and getting out of your car.

You got out too, at that, feeling the chill breeze travel around your ankles and making you shiver for a second before you rushed to the entrance.

“Come on!” you said, opening the door and waiting for Diego to catch up. 

“Should we order a pizza or something?” he asked as he walked in, making you laugh again.

This man is definitely gonna cheer you up. And you are also excited to finally get to know your unfortunate crush a little closer.

A/N: also i would love to make it a shorter series, maybe? i already have some plot points that would be cool to write, so let me know if you guys would want that!

[a-portable-snack]

Kaidam, Kai is dragged to a party and he hate it but then he know a handsome guy who make him change his mind

Is this loosely based off frat parties at my school? No, it’s heavily based off frat parties at my school. 

Fifteen Minutes

Kai laid on Adam’s bed watching the ceiling as him and Mira get ready for the party. They were all seniors in college and none of them really went to frat parties. Not because they were never invited. If you’re friends with Adam, you can’t NOT get invited everywhere. Mainly because they didn’t want to go. But now they were seniors with great GPAs, easy senior classes, and finally sometime to actually go little crazy. Or at least Mira and Adam can.

“Guys, I’m taking fucking Thermodynamics. I don’t understand a thing and I really should stay and study” Kai waved his brick of a textbook to make a point.

“Oh come on!” Adam stepped out of the bathroom. Kai turned to look at him and honestly stopped functioning for a second. He just had a simple short sleeved button up with jeans on. He had little bit of make up on it wasn’t noticeable but his skin was evener and his eyes looked bigger. But he was PRETTY.

That’s the thing about Adam Kai decided along time ago. Adam wasn’t hot or cute. Those words just didn’t describe him. Adam was simply pretty. Pretty enough to make Kai not realize he wasn’t paying attention to the words coming out of Adam’s mouth.

“Say that again? I can’t seem to process anything that isn’t code thanks to Ross.” Kai said.

“That is exactly my point! You’ve been working so hard for three years. It’s time to loosen up little” Adam did that dumb shimmy he does and Kai just snorted out a laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t. I’m a fucking Robotic and Mechatronic Engineer, I’m…”

“Practically double majoring because your major is a fancy combination of mechanical and electrical engineering” Adam said with smirk. “I’ve heard the rant once or twice.”

Kai could tell that Adam wasn’t going to back down about Kai going to the party. And Kai knew that he couldn’t say no to Adam. And Adam probably knows that Kai can’t say no to him. Hence, Adam’s knowing smirk as they had a stand off, both waiting for Kai to break.

“Ugh! Fine!”

“Perfect!” Mira came out, as if she planned for Adam to convince Kai to come. “I’m dressing you up”

“You’re what?” Adam and Kai said together. Kai was not a dress up type. He won an award from the Dean’s office and he accepted the award in jeans. Kai is pretty sure he only owns baseball tees and jeans. Maybe a long sleeve t shirt. Maybe.

“Adam, leave”

“What? Why? This is my room!”

“Because I’m stealing your clothes for Kai and I’m not listening to you tell me what to choose” Mira pushed Adam out with out his keys and closed the door.

“Can I at least have my wallet so I can go buy drinks?” Adam yelled. Mira threw Adam’s wallet at him and quickly closed the door.

“Ok Mira. WHAT THE HELL?”

“It’s fine. He won’t be mad once he sees you.” Mira started to raid Adam’s closet. She didn’t want to just dress Kai like Adam but she also knew she wouldn’t be able to get anywhere with Kai’s closet. So Mira needed to find balance. She saw the perfect pieces and threw them to Kai.

“This over this. Keep your jeans but you’re wearing Adam’s shoes” Mira said. Kai looked at the clothes. He hesitantly put them. It was a tight black long sleeved shirt with a floral short sleeved button up. He didn’t hate it.

“I like it!” Mira said, and pulled out some make up.

“Mira…”

“Nope, you’re getting a little make up. Just for me” She smiled and motioned him to sit down.

“Why are you doing this?” Kai asked as Mira applied foundation.

“I am over you and Adam dancing around each other. You’re both out, you both definitely like each other, I hate feeling like I’m third wheeling when you guys aren’t even dating”

“W-what?”

“Yeah, don’t say anything. You know I’m right” Kai just sat in silence and didn’t fight back. Yes Kai thought Adam was pretty. We discussed this. But Adam’s Adam. He’s the person that Kai relies on when he needs extra hands when building a robot or the person Kai wants to go to after a long day or the person that Kai is willing to drop everything for or… HOLY SHIT KAI LOVES ADAM.

“Did you actually just have a revelation that you loved Adam?” Mira was half pissed half relieved. Like thanks god he finally noticed but HOW DID HE NOT NOTICE?

“I’m sorry! I just… I don’t know! Didn’t look at Adam? I guess” Kai is usually one that is a love at first sight kind of man. If a good looking person so much as gives him a second of attention, Kai is ready to jump off a bridge for them. Most people let him jump. But maybe that’s why Adam is so special. Adam would never ask him to jump alone. Adam would grab him hand and leap with him.

“Didn’t look” Mira said under her breath. She finished Kai makeup and hair with minimal jests. When she was finally done, Kai was shocked. He didn’t look different but he looked better. He felt like he was actually attractive. Maybe he should let Adam and Mira “queer eye” him, as they always say.

“I’m back! I will exchange gin and Faygo for my dorm back.” Adam yelled from the door. Mira looked at Kai with excited eyes and bounded to the door.

“I’ll be taking this, and you will be thanking me” Mira snatched the ingredients to make drinks.

“What do you…” Adam stopped when he saw Kai. Adam let a small smile cover his face. “I see why. You look good”

“It was all Mira. I honestly don’t understand what she did”

“Yup, I am the rock you boys are built on.” Mira said, filling up her reusable water bottle with some gin then topping off with Faygo. “And I can’t believe you got fucking grape Faygo”

“Hey grape Faygo is the best and if you don’t agree, fuck off” Kai said. Adam just sent a small smile. Adam knew Kai likes the grape the best so he didn’t really have a choice in Faygo.

“So when are we leaving?” Kai asked.

“Right now” Mira handed both the boys reusable water bottles. “Ok boys. Say it with me. Be drunk enough…”

“To enjoy the idiots but sober enough not to join” Kai and Adam chanted with Mira.

“Ok, we’re off” Kai actually felt excited. He’s gone to a few small dorm parties but no frat parties. It was the first one of the year and everyone was going to be there. The school that Kai, Mira, and Adam go to is pretty small school with only 3 frat houses. No ever goes to one house because the guys are creepy and away from the other two. The good frats however full of fun guys. The houses are both kinda small but they coordinate parties together so they aren’t competing for the best party. Why have two small parties when you can have one big one?

“HERE WE ARE!” Mira immediately ran in, pulling the boys along. Kai immediately regretted coming. He had no idea how packed this place could get. There were body count restrictions for a reason! And that beer pong table is about to fall, loose screw. Are these stairs safe? There’s no light so you had to step and pray has you went downstairs. HOW ARE THERE MORE PEOPLE DOWN HERE?

The basement was so packed Kai was had to squish his shoulders together to try to keep up with Mira and Adam. Suddenly he was pulled away in the crowd that was dancing, drinking, and singing. Oh no he was getting involved with idiots. He wasn’t even drunk.

“Oh my god who are you?” Vanessa yelled over the music and draped herself over Kai. Kai rolled his eyes. He and Vanessa “went out” (if you want to call it that) and it was not healthy and didn’t end well.

“Vanessa, it’s me Kai.” Kai said. Vanessa pulled back to look him up and down.

“Wow if I had known you could clean up so good, I might not have dumped you” Kai just rolled his eyes. He explicitly remembers breaking it off with her after Mira have an intervention with him. She was manipulative, cheating on him constantly, and was starting to isolate Kai for his friends. It was not good.

“Well, too bad. Literally nothing could convince me to get back together with you”

“Oh come on, Kai” Vanessa grabbed Kai’s hand. “Let’s have some fun tonight. For old times sake.”

Kai was tempted. His friends were gone. It would just be one night and Vanessa is just a force that is hard to ignore. Kai shook his head.

“No, I-I leaving” Kai quickly fought his way out of the crowd and went back up the stairs. He started to look around the first floor for his friends when he heard something.

“Kai!” Kai turned to sound of his name saw Skeet, one of Adam’s friends. Oh great.

“If you’re here, Adam can’t be too far away!” Skeet looked over Kai, looking for Adam. Kai tried not to roll his eyes.

“I lost him awhile ago. You might find him around” Kai said, “And if you do, can-“

“Great! Is he still single? I’ve been thinking about asking him out. The dude is practically perfect”

Kai suddenly couldn’t breath. He shouldn’t have come. People never seem to actually care about him, he’s overloaded with work, and if he has to be alone, he rather it be somewhere that people can’t bother him.

Without saying anything Kai left the house as quickly as he could. Once he was outside, he quickly made his way down the street. He shoved his hands in his pockets and fought tears. This was their senior year. It was suppose to be the best year. Kai wanted to make the best of it because he knows Mira and Adam will take off once they graduate. It’s not on purpose but their jobs could take them anywhere. Mira’s animal conversation degree could take her all the way to India and Adam’s said he’d go to any law school that’ll take him, even in Alaska. And Kai just wanted one more year where they were all together.

“KAI!”

Kai turned and saw Adam sprinting down the side walk.

“Dude! There you are. I’ve been look all over for you” Adam slowed to a walk as he got close. When he noticed Kai was almost in tears, he closed the gap between them quickly.

“What happened? Did someone do something? I’m going to kick their ass” Adam almost seemed ready to go back to the party and destroy everyone until he figured out who hurt Kai. Kai grabbed Adam’s wrist and breathed out a laugh.

“Its fine. I… I just lost you guys than I ran into Vanessa then Skeet was looking for you and I just got overwhelmed. I’m just going to head back.” Kai gave Adam small smile and went to leave.

“15 minutes” Adam said. Kai turned around and gave him a weird look.

“Mira and I found a good spot. If you give me 15 minutes and still want to go home, I’ll walk you home myself” Kai wanted to say no. He wanted to go home. But it was Adam. And it was only 15 minutes. So Kai nodded an ok.

Adam laced his hand into Kai’s and pulled him back to the house. They went threw the front door and to the basement. Adam pulled Kai in front of him and wrapped a strong arm around his hip and pulled him close.

“I’m not losing you again.” Adam whispered into his ear. Kai was hoped Adam didn’t see the strong blush that crawled across his face and to his ears. Adam pushed Kai threw the crowd Kai kept his head down, hoping not to see Vanessa again. Adam lead him to a set of stair that Kai didn’t see when he was down here the first time. Adam guided him up the stairs and opened the door. It lead to the backyard of the house.

It was a really relaxed atmosphere compared to inside where everyone just seemed to be going has hard as possible. There were two picnic table, one with a beer pong game going, the other acting seats for the few people out here. There was also a keg toss competition going on and some people sitting on the ground smoking.

“Kai!” Mira jumped off the table and ran over. “There you are. Did you get lost in the crowd?”

“Something like that” Kai rubbed his neck.

“Come on” Adam pulled Kai to the picnic table. Adam sat on top of the and pulled Kai so he sat in-between his knees. Adam then slung a protective arm over Kai’s shoulder. At first Kai was really stiff but he quickly relaxed into he touch. They all started cheering for the beer pong game, Kai doing fake intense sports commentary that had everyone laughing. Eventually, Mira convinced Adam to do the Keg toss, to which Adam set a new frat record for.

Kai ended up staying way passed the 15 minutes. He stopped watching the clock after 5. He didn’t realize how late it was until one of the frat guys came to the backyard.

“Sorry guys but it’s like 3 am and we need to shut it down. Hope you had fun tho!” He said and escorted everyone that was in the backyard through the now empty basement to the first floor where people were filing out.

“So,” Adam carefully placed an arm over Kai’s shoulders “Are you happy you stayed?”

Kai, in moment of bravery, kissed Adam’s cheek. “Yes, I am”

[nomoregoldfish]

Imagine catching Amado building secret airport in the jungle; Enemies to friends /w benefits (2/2)

This one goes out of my hands. I don’t even know what kind of monster it is now, smh. The formatting seems screwed up. Please read it on AO3 if you want. Again, if tubmlr flag the gif below, I’LL RIOT.

"Is this a date? What's the dress code? Cargo pants don't count." Amado sounds flirty when you call him the other day. It's not really his fault because you are the one who asks him out.

Since the formidable drug trafficker hasn't sent any sicario to make you disappear, you figure you still have chances to make him reconsider the plan of building an airport. You're willing to do whatever it takes to save the jungle and the ruins.

Plus seeing Amado again is not a bad idea.

You can't justify why you ignore your go-to outfit including cargo pants. Instead, you put on your tightest jeans.

You pick up Amado at four in the morning. The tall man looks sleepy and slightly confused, which is kinda cute. You offer him black coffee in your vacuum bottle. 

After the first sip, Amado turns to you with his misty down-turned eyes, "No cargo pants today?" You try not to smile, "Shut up."

You're taking him to the Palenque ruins, another Mayan site in Chiapas, just few hours drive away.

You manage to get there before the sunrise. The site hasn't opened yet but you know a secret route because you also worked on the excavation project there. 

"You have a thing for sneaking in, uh, Ms. Geologist?" You shouldn't encourage him but whatever, the banter is... fun. 

Walking with Amado in the dense mountain forest actually is a perfect date in your dictionary. Your shoes are wet with morning dew but nobody cares. Listen to birds chirping and fogs croaking in the dim light. 

"You're really not afraid of darkness, are you?" Amado sounds genuinely curious. "Why would I be? I worked on this site for years, I've known the whole place by heart." He nods, like some acknowledgement.

It's almost dawn, you look at the tinted horizon when you reach the top of the mountain. The entire ancient city of Palenque is quiet and peaceful wrapped in the jungle, reminds you why you chose what you do with your life.

"I want to show you something." It's the Temple of the Inscriptions, one of the most iconic Mayan architecture lightened up by the morning sun. Starting from the history, you explain to Amado not only the symbolic significance of the temple and the secret tomb inside, but also the epic war Emperor Pakal waged against Yaxchilán. 

Amado doesn't stop you. You keep talking, sharing your involvement in those excavation projects with him, how excited you are when a new site is discovered, how proud you felt for your team when Palenque was recognized as World Heritage Site not long ago, which meant more funds, more human resources, and better equipment for all scientists working on it for years. You want to continue to study the whole area, even several rival/ally sites in Guatemala and Belize, to find more satellite cities, battlefields, to be able to define the border of those ancient powerhouses and finally draw a map of the mysterious kingdom.

He looks at you like you're some kind of heroine. It's heartwarming but you're not sure, "So, what do you think?"

Amado's playing coy, but you're persistent. "Come on. I'm a geologist. I can't hire assassins. What else am I supposed to do to make you change your mind? Put on my most expensive dress, show off my ass, wine and dine you?"

"Though I'd love to see you in a nice dress, jeans are great, too." The northern banditote smirks, eyeing your lower body, "Plus the whole speech, I told you I love it when you talk about your job. You seem to know exactly what you're doing."

Amado doesn't promise anything. He says he'll figure something out.

You exhale deeply. At least the guy listened, you appreciate it. 

Then you find out there's nothing left in your vacuum bottle, the fucker drank all your coffee, "How am I supposed to drive back without any coffee in my system?"

Amado pulls you in for a kiss, warm and tastes much better than your shitty coffee. The fresh stubble overnight of his stings and it feels so good, you can't help cupping his face and kissing back. 

Then he announces he'd drive if you just say "El Señor de los Cielos, please." You tell him to fuck off but toss the car key to him anyway.

You haven't contacted each other after that for a while. You tell yourself it's nothing. It's not like you two have had something. 

You send people every week to monitor the construction of the airport from a hidden spot on the mountain. Meanwhile you complete the scan of the area surrounding the soon-to-be airport and find a possible target. You have to be on the ground again to confirm it. 

Unluckily you break your ankle one day in the jungle. And you don't want to put any colleague's life at risk to get near the cartel's territory. You decide to wait on Amado, you believe he's a man of his words. 

Amado surprises you one night at your camp. He jokes that a geologist can sneak into a drug cartel's property, it'd be humiliating if he doesn't return the favor. His face and neck are perfectly tanned, you want to immerse yourself in that hot chocolate. You almost jump out of excitement because you haven't seen Amado for a month. Then you remember you're confined to your desk and seat due to the injury. 

"You're expecting someone else? Ms. Geologist." Amado sounds a bit down. "I..." You want to ask him so many things. Has he figured it out? Who is in charge of the airport when he's away? And where has he been? Why does it take him so long to come back? Maybe minus the last question. It'd sound desperate. 

He says he flies from Juaréz, "One of the longest domestic flights," he claims as looking around your tent office, sketches and maps scattered all the place. When his eyes meet yours again, it's so gentle, full of fondness.

"You only want to talk about business?" He's getting close, "I just fly almost 2,000 miles and you're not even standing up. Look who's more cold-blooded than drug traffickers."

Before you realize what happens, Amado lowers his body and carries you off the chair. He doesn't touch your ankle but it still hurts when you're suddenly moved.

Amado finds out. The man in black examines your injury carefully. You never saw him so concerned before. He quickly comes to the conclusion that your injury is worse than it looks and needs better treatment. 

No, you're not gonna leave your job. You have papers to write, new budget to apply, more areas to explore. Slowly it'd recover.

"Don't you want to wade across rivers, trek through jungles, and climb mountains again? If you love your job so much, you have to get better treatment, immediately! And take some good rest. Give it a few more weeks? Oh God, you're insane." He's so mad at you.

You finally agree, and Amado insists on carrying you again to his vehicle. You know it's not your priority right now but holy fuck, he's fucking built. And you're inches away from his big nose which you've had a crush on for a while.

He's gonna fly you to the state capital Tuxtla Gutiérrez.

"You don't fly 2,000 miles just to see me, do you?" You poke him during the flight, sitting next to the sexy pilot in the cockpit is a treat. 

"Dear Ms. Geologist, remember I have a job, too?"

The pain is getting worse, Amado notices it then hands you a joint from nowhere. You're about ask whether it's legal to have weed on the plane, then you realize you're with a real drug dealer. "Not to bad to have a narcos friend, huh?" OK, you gives him that as the weed kicks in. 

"So now we're friends?" You're obviously high, and bold. Because you find your hand dangerously near his groin for no reason, fumbling. "I always wanted to touch it." You giggle. 

Amado politely removes your hand and tells you to behave.

"You know what? You could've been the most popular guy at our camp. Someone might trade blowjobs for your weed since we're just low-paid scientists and assistants." You're high like a kite.

You also "threaten" if Amado extends any further in the jungle to build more airport facilities when you're put away, you swear to God you'll...

"You'll what? Shut up and rest, cabrón. Or I'll take you directly to DF, better physicians there anyway."

And the fucker did, a day after a Chiapas physician suggests you seek the best orthopedic treatment in DF for speedy recovery.

Then Amado disappears again. You know he's probably running a drug cartel in the north, and only checking in on their hidden project near the southern border once a month or two. It's the way it is. Your lives only collide when it's meant to be. There's no fucking way you two see each other like normal people do. 

You still miss Amado, miss the banter, even his northern accent. 

During the two-month therapy in DF, you receive reports that the airport is completed, and the potential target site nearby is now a giant warehouse. You also learn a big donation is made specifically to the Yaxchilán excavation project, of course, anonymously.

That's what Amado meant by "figuring something out." You're not even mad. What's the alternate outcome when you're up against the narcos? Report it? The entire cabinet is probably in their pocket. You should be relieved that no one ends up dead during the little stupid game you played.

You can't even return the drug money because, a) you can't tell anyone where it's from; b) INAH's been underfunded for decades, the project fucking needs it, so do your colleagues.

You call that number again after you get back to the ground. You don't know how to end this, or is there anything to end? 

"Come over next weekend, I'll be there and I can explain." Amado sounds poised and calm, like he always does.

You tell yourself to keep it civil. This is a losing battle since day one.

Amado meets you in front of a warehouse, he looks great, all charming smile and open arms. All you can think of is the location of the warehouse, it must be the one. Most likely it's being buried.

"You bring flowers, how nice." It's the white birds of paradise, which suits him, El Señor de los Cielos. You tell him you're grateful for the injury advice he insisted.

"Can I show you something?" Amado opens the door of the warehouse. It all feels like yesterday, when you showed him the sunrise at Palenque, talking about your future plan. How naive were you.

Some jaw-dropping scene in front of you. The entire site of ruins, intact, locked inside the warehouse with minimal structure to shield from the rain and sunshine.

"What? You thought I'm gonna show you cocaine? No offense, baby, you can't afford the Colombian white magic. This is all you get, some fucking broken rocks with barely recognizable inscriptions." The bastard shrugs.

How did he find this site? "Sorry. Let's say I accidentally took a copy of your scan map last time at your camp, when you were busy with your ankle problem." You fucking knew it, it's never what it looked like when it comes to Amado Carrillo Fuentes.

Yet you can't believe what you just see. It is NOT real. It can't be.

That's when harsh reality kicks in. It always starts with a but. "You can't work on it, not now." Amado explains the situation and his plan for your ruins, which he thinks it's better to keep them under the radar for now. No tomb raider would dare to approach it, you can work on many other sites first.

"Then what?" You keep digging. Amado sighs, giving you a melancholy smile, "This line of work doesn't tend to last very long. It will be yours one day. Before that, it's completely safe. You have my word." 

Amado's kind of.... correct, and practical to be honest. INAH doesn't have enough resources for thousands of projects. Even with the hard work you and your colleagues pulled, it's estimated less than 10% of the total area of Palenque was explored and partially restored.

You carefully examine the site, making notes and sketches to create a hasty profile.

Amado focuses on something else, "It seems you walk just fine. Fully recovered, no rush? Good. And has your budget been approved? Got more money? I mean, the efficiency of any bureaucratic system is questionable in this country. If it still falls short, I can...." 

You can't tell if he's been an asshole or a saint, God forbid.

"For fuck's sake, I don't want your fucking money. I just, I want...." You turn around, look defeated, "Your dick, OK? Who cares about your dirty drug money? You Sinaloan monkey!"

Amado bursts into laughter, "Why don't you take both, dear Ms. Geologist?" He put your hand below his belt buckle, "I think you made it very clear last time."

"It's your fucking nose, narizón." You gently caress it, and he's getting hard beneath the fabric and it's fucking huge.

You're on your knees, trying to take Amado's full length in. Fuck, it's difficult. You're embarrassed and he's like "Shhh, it's okay, baby."

Instead, Amado's going down on you, making your knees weak af. You have to grab the stones to stand still. 

Amado eating your out with patience, salt and pepper stubble rubbing against the most sensitive part of your body which gives you more trouble, and fingering you at the same fucking time. Let that sink in for a moment.

You don't stand a chance, you come so hard.

Amado's taking you from behind, big hands on your hips to keep you still against the ancient structure. Rock into you with deep, short thrusts. You're wet for him like rivers during monsoon season. 

Your legs are shaking when he hits right at the spot again. "Wanna to make a good girl like you squirm and scream." Fuck, Amado always gets what he desires as he pulls you hair up, leaving hickeys on your neck while he fucks you thoroughly.

The best orgasm through your whole life. And the fucker is proud of it, "Told you. You'd better take both, baby. The green and the big D."

Does it mean you really gonna take money from narcos? This is so fucked up. 

Later Amado fixes you some nice margarita, casually asking if you want to join him for a business trip to Belize the next day. "I have to buy some stuff in Belmopan. Maybe we can stop by Lamanai with my private jet after that if you'd like."

How the fuck does he know you wanted to visit the Mayan ruins in a remote foreign town for years? 

The concern becomes less shocking when you see Amado buy a bunch of Boeing 727s in Belmopan like a Sunday grocery run.

[standreamy]

You can change it - BNA AU (part 3)

Continuing from my previous post about my BNA headcanon

Here my perception on how the series developed Michiru and Nazuna’s frienship and how I would work on it in my au

Nazuna and Michiru

So, first of all I want to remind that I don’t ship them and in my Au there no romantic reference to their relationship. Thought, I do want to focus on their friendship too in my headcanon and develop them a bit.  I apology in advance if I seems a bit “cruel” towards Nazuna. I don’t hate her at all and don’t want to offend anyone who like her. I am just trying to do an analysis and continue my own way what the series, in my view, didn’t finish. I think someone really start to change and improve when they hit their lowest point. That’s what I will do to Nazuna, so that the change really starts from her. People sometimes realise their mistakes but keep doing them or can’t really have the strength to fix them. The manage when they reach the worst situation. Starting... I always felt like their bond was one of the things BNA kinda... treated in a odd way, at least more in the ending.  This is my personal perception of course, but I always felt like their friendship was reciprocated but at the same time onesided.  It’s kinda weird, but Nazuna and Michiru went through a lot and their bond seemed to become weakier but at the same time they acted like friends, at least mostly from Michiru’s side.  I’m not saying Nazuna doesn’t care about Michiru, she does and it’s pretty much clear. She was being used, using her personality to twist her view.  Thought, even so there were various occasions I felt like Michiru wasn’t treated fairly and various times I felt like she was the one seeking for Nazuna and not really viceversa.  They care for each other very much, but I feel like the efforts are initiated more from Michiru’s side.  It’s partly for Nazuna’s personality and for plot, but I think it could have been important to help their friendship develop more.  I also didn’t really see an apology between them. Shirou and Michiru apologized to each other for everything, but I didn’t quite see an apology from Nazuna for like... not trusting Michiru, accusing her of acting for her own advantage... pushing kinda her away... I know, they are teens, Nazuna was being manipulated and she had also her own reasons and right thoughts. For example, that scene in episode 6 maybe had some truth in it, Michiru has flaws and she indeed tends to assume others need help and offer herself. It may has to do also not just for generosity but also for feeling better herself. And Nazuna being honest was important. But the way she let her go along was somehow manipulating too.  The efforts were all from Michiru’s side, who kept fighting for her friend’s wellbeing, even if it meant being seen as stupid or else and not taking care of herself totally. I know, some may think “Off screen she apologized” or “She wanted to protect Michiru by keeping her away”.  These are possible, but at the same time it wasn’t shown and I believe that if they were real, they would have been seen, they are really important! An apology can last few seconds and if Nazuna was worried about Michiru being involved in Alain’s affairs she would have kept her TOTALLY away and we would have seen her troubled, even if privately.  So I base more my perception on what it’s clearly seen instead than suppose some off screen scenes to justify all the flaws of their bond.  It’s okay if it has flows, it can improve! I think if BNA had a season 2, more should be seen about this. I personally feel their relationship is not complete, it still has some holes... as in the season 1 ending it seemed it was all solved but I didn’t see the solution really of their bond. It just needed more development (also ShiroMichi, just like many other relationships). I can understand there wasn’t much time or space, but anyway, I want to work on it.  That’s why as it ended the series, I made in my headcanon that their friendship is still flawed. Distance and different goals made their lives different and apart and the nature of their bond didn’t help to keep it stable.  Melissa and Shirou pointed out more times this to Michiru before Nazuna drifted apart, stating how Michiru needed to also really think about herself. Her works were overwhelming and she couldn’t run everywhere to help people (in this case, Nazuna didn’t need her at all costs as she had her own manager) if she didn’t first take care of herself. Seeing each others lesser gave Michiru time to think, mostly after her departing with Shirou to travel. In that time, even missing Nazuna, she resorted to not contacting her and waiting to see some effort from her friend instead.  That however, was a useless wait.  The very next time she finally got to see Nazuna was when she “died”. Even if Shirou revived her, rumors of her death were already going around from who witnessed it. Nazuna was one of the people to be protected as important as symbol of AnimaCity and for her popularity, so the news arrived to her quite fast.  That shook her a lot.  When Michiru was finally back, her injuries were still quite bad and during her recovery Nazuna visited. Though again, the big period of silence between them wasn’t addressed. From there, they acted like friends once again, even if there wasn’t much stability. Michiru very much understood this and her travel managed to open her eyes on a lot of things, even more to make her grow.  She didn’t try as much as before to search Nazuna. In all this the fox girl started to feel something odd... guilt? Loneliness? Empty? She didn’t really think of it and shoved away often the strange feelings she got from the situation, acting like everything was fine and how it was supposed to be.  That until the day Michiru lost one of her cubs. Nazuna was heartbroken for her friend, but she realised she couldn’t understand Michiru anymore like she used to. For her, inside, Michiru was the same as always, same stubborn, helpful, invasive teenager. The changes were there but only in that moment she started to see them.  And it drove her mind away. “Michiru was always a free spirit and even if she liked children.. when did she develop this urge to be a mother?” “Michiru was one who threw herself into anything and everything without thinking, when did she become much more... responsible?” “Michiru was always around me, even when I didn’t need or want her... when did she...left?” Seeing everything suddenly appear clearer, crude and brute made her frantic. She couldn’t accept everything changed so much without her noticing, that she was in reality so self-asserted and blind. So, in her biggest moment of denial, the same one she wanted to cheer her friend up from her depression, everything went wrong.  She knew Michiru was stronger if provoked, she used to react and fight. So she assumed the same thing would work and the same words she once used would apply again. After all, Michiru was the same exact of her younger self, right?. “Are you keeping this self-pity act so people will comfort you and you’ll feel better about yourself? So in your thoughts you won’t feel like you screwed this up?” She spoke letting out her own frustration. She helped people to feel better about herself right? Even when they didn’t need it.  She pictured Michiru answering “It’s not true! I am not trying to receive pity or make myself feel better!”  And herself answering again “Because you don’t need it. It wasn’t your fault” She wanted to help, really, but besides her own frustration with the changes and insecurity, she never could picture this situation.  Nazuna liked kids but never really thought too much of having her own, she didn’t even think about it being possible being an idol and THAT was her biggest goal. She wasn’t really the type who would think of setting down.  While Michiru, adventure lover, who she never really pictured in that way (maybe because inside she always felt like Michiru would just follow her) ended up doing it. Wanting a family so badly and actually realising it. She realised too late she screwed up. Badly. When she looked at Michiru’s expression, in her eyes that sparkled for the first time in weeks a different emotion than desperation: hate.  She never saw that look on her friend’s face, not towards her at least. Perhaps it wasn’t hate, but for sure there was anger, betrayal... She could clearly read in her eyes something was over. Michiru, for the first time, just left. She wasn’t waiting for Nazuna to search her, to go after her. She wasn’t taking a break to then go back at the fox.  She left totally.  ... In the headcanon they won’t talk or meet each other directly for years.  Even if the ghost of their friendship is still present for Michiru, she moved on. Still keeping in her heart their song indirectly, singing it to her kids even if she didn’t want to think of Nazuna specifically.  Nazuna instead is haunted by this ghost. as her loneliness grow the success does, but her happiness is never complete.  Time was enough to think about things and she realised her mistakes, aknowledged them, but never found the spark to actually try and fix things.  She had success, she had fans and people who believed in her importance, but she was alone.  Michiru did a job in the shadows, one that protected people whom maybe didn’t know who was their savior and helper and felt happy that way. She had no people acclaiming her, but she had a loyal and loved companion and her kids; a family. She had friends and people to be close to, to confess her weaknesses, her doubts, to support and to help, with whom she could carry on and share experiences.  She realised how she treated her friend, how she was wrong and how she changed.  She kept delaying her apologies as she knew somehow Michiru would always seek for her and she would have time. Now it was too late.  Things changes when one night, years later, she found a kid after a party. The kid just showed up.  She asked if he was alright but he asked back the same question, somehow feeling she was really the one who wasn’t. She was shocked of course but covered it up asking if he was lost and who his mother is.  He didn’t answer on that (Will go back to this point later on for the reason) but he retorted she appeared like someone who tried to help to be recorded or something.  This made her laugh somehow, but then admitted that even if in past she would have made something like this, now she didn’t want to and wouldn’t even need it. She had enough of what she wanted.  She asked for a name, and this time finally she got a response ”Henko” (Nazuna didn’t ask Michiru which names she liked for her eventual kids, another point on how their friendship had holes, in this case on Nazuna’s side) Nazuna didn’t know what to do with the kid, they were in a safe park but why was a kid there at that hour? She didn’t know what to do. So she settled with starting a conversation, asking which animal he could shift to. At that question he seemed uneasy and didn’t answer, just stating that he hurted someone he cared about, created some problems and was now around searching a solution.

Feeling familiar with the situation, she explained why she was there. She felt kinda silly to vent to a kid, but he was listening and somehow she felt a strange feeling around him.  She talked about how she made a mistake, many mistaked towards someone and never made effort to fix them. With low voice she added "Even a kid is pulling himself up and working to fix things while me... instead... I’m such a mess...” the kid thought for a moment, he said his mom sang a song to him when he felt alone or unsure and that she told him often singing this would turn bright the stars so he could find the way again.  After some silence, Henko’s voice started singing in the hair. 

“Totsuzen ni mō Up side Down... Sekai wa kawari dasu...”

she froze.

“Inori mo todokanai... Boku ga kawari dasu” His voice... “Imi o motomete hashiri tsuzukete... Jibun ga dare ka wakaranaku naru... Naki-sōdakedo maketakunaikara”

She turned her head to him. The sun was rising. “Oshiete Yoru ni haseru kono yurameki to Omoinomama ni tobimawatte Motto jiyū ni kakete ikou yo Hoshi o miagete sa” There was no way... but everything was so filling into pieces. She just KNEW it inside, even if she couldn’t believe it.  He stopped singing, surprised a little by her expression, but then smiled sweetly “You seemed sad, but I think there is a star for everyone! It’s never too late to follow it!” She thought she wanted to become a star for people, but perhaps... Work in progress.... Still projecting the rest!!

[hypnoshatesme]

Calming

Michael looked nervous. Which, in itself, wasn’t uncommon. Gerry was used to it, by now, but he also had become good at telling the usual constant-anxiety kind of nervous expression from the something-is-actively-freaking-me-out-right-now nervous expression and Michael was definitely giving him latter right now. They were in Gerry’s bathroom, Michael sat in a chair in front of the low mirror, that he couldn’t actually see himself when standing up, towel around his shoulders as Gerry prepared the dye.

It had been a revelation when Michael had confessed his hair was, actually, a slightly lighter shade of blond. Gerry had simply thought that the light hit it funny in the couple instances he thought he caught glimpses of lighter hair. But once, Michael off-handedly remarked he needed to get some dye, and, upon Gerry’s confused glance, blushed and stuttered out something along the lines of ‘I just like it slightly darker’. Gerry had shrugged and offered his help with the dyeing, since Michael helped with his and it just felt like a natural thing to do the same for him. Michael had looked less than thrilled after the first shock at the offer faded, making Gerry raise an eyebrow in question.

“Ah it’s just...I don’t know, I usually just do it myself? I don’t...you don’t need to inconvenience yourself.”, he wasn’t looking at Gerry, hands twisting nervously in his lap.

“I mean, it was just an offer, if you’d rather not, it’s fine. But you inconvenience yourself with dyeing my hair rather frequently so I thought it’d be...nice? to return the favour.”, Gerry tried.

Michael looked at him, a little wide-eyed, “Oh you don’t need to! I...I like dyeing your hair.”

“Well, maybe I’d like dyeing yours.”, Gerry countered, and Michael’s face blushed a pretty red as he bit his lip.

“W-Well, uh, I...I guess if you really want to? I…”, he sighed, “I should probably warn you, though, it’s...not much fun. I’ve had people help before and, uh...they kinda get stuck in the curls and stress out and...ah, they don’t like my whining.”

Ah, so it wasn't just about being an inconvenience. Gerry knit his brows, “Well, if they don’t like your whining maybe they should be fucking careful, then.”

“It’s...it’s not so easy with my hair.”, Michael sighed, brushing a curl behing his ear that popped right back to where it was.

Gerry scoffed, “They don’t sound like they were making much of an effort.”, he thought for a moment, “I mean, if you feel like I’m hurting you we can just stop? But if you don’t mind I’d like to try and see if it’s really that hard.”

Michael looked equal amounts of confused and curious, “W-Why…?”

Gerry shrugged, “It feels nice when you touch my hair.", he managed to keep the blush he felt creeping into his face down, but his voice still sounded a little flustered as he continued, "Would be a shame if you, uh, were missing out on something that might be nice to you, too.”

“O-Oh...uh, okay, then...I guess.”, Michael mumbled, clearly surprised.

“Think about it, if you want. But if you want help...well, you have my number. Just text me.”

Michael nodded slowly, giving Gerry a small smile. Gerry smiled back.

*

It had taken two weeks, but Michael had decided to let Gerry try his hand in the end. Gerry wasn’t particularly good at dyeing his own hair, but he had watched Michael dye it plenty of times by now to know how to approach this best. Well, at least in theory. If he fucked up, well, the difference in colour was actually hard to tell if you didn’t know what you were looking for. In theory Michael could instruct him if he felt like Gerry wasn’t doing a good job. Though, knowing Michael, he’d consider that rude and rather accept dealing with a bad dye job than speaking up.

“Ready?”, Gerry said, catching Michael’s worried eyes in the mirror as he screwed the cap off the bottle of dye.

Michael’s eyes went a little bigger for a moment, alarmed, but he nodded, slowly. Gerry gave him a reassuring smile as he stepped closer and started to apply the dye. Michael looked like he was regretting life decisions for the first couple minutes, tensing up every time Gerry brought his fingers to his hair to spread the dye out. He tensed up even more, hands clutching in his arms as if readying himself for pain, when Gerry started to properly go in with his gloved fingers, careful to get through the layers of hair so the strands would be evenly covered. It was much easier to judge that when you could fucking see what you were doing, who would’ve thought.

He was careful not to pull, remembering how Michael always did everything to avoid Gerry's hair during the dyeing process and simply copying some of his strategies. Despite not having much patience to do this on himself, Gerry kept his movements slow, so he would notice if one of his fingers did get caught on on some tangled hair. It did happen, sometimes, but instead of trying to force his finger through that spot, Gerry carefully detangled it first, gently pushing down on the roots with his other hand so it wouldn’t be too uncomfortable. Especially during such instances Gerry sought Michael’s eyes in the mirror, asking him - sometimes out loud - if this was okay, if it was hurting. Michael mumbled that it was fine, and Gerry couldn’t quite tell if he was just saying it to not be rude or if he was telling the truth, because his face was still all tense. But Gerry continued, paying close attention to any twitch that might indicate pain.

Michael started to relax, very slowly, and often only until Gerry got caught in the next tangle. However, as Gerry continued to manage those with minimal to no pain, Michael’s shoulders started relaxing nearly instantly again. He allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of fingers in his hair, then, instead of being highly alert, bracing himself for pain. It did feel nice. Michael wasn’t surprised, of course, he had always liked people touching his hair. He simply also dreaded it because it rarely went well, making him try to avoid such situations if he could. Which didn’t make him miss it any less.

Gerry was probably taking more care than necessary, to be honest, and Michael was feeling sorry for him because he knew Gerry had no patience for dyeing hair and was probably horribly bored or annoyed by this point. When Michael couldn’t take the guilt anymore, he opened his eyes to tell Gerry that he didn’t need to be this careful, that Michael could deal with a bit of pulling, but when Michael saw Gerry’s face in the mirror the words died on his lips. Gerry looked serene, relaxed, the way he rarely ever did unless he was drawing for a while. Michael watched, in awe, because this was not what he had expected seeing on that face at all. He bit down any comment, not wanting to pull Gerry out of it, and leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering close again.

By some point, Michael found himself dreading the moment Gerry was done and the sensation of his fingers carefully running over Michael’s hair would stop, rather than the possible pain of getting his hair pulled out. He let out a content sigh, making Gerry smile at the mirror in response.

*

“So, did it turn out okay?”, Gerry asked as Michael walked into the living room after having washed his hair. It was still wet, but Gerry knew Michael had dried it off as far as possible since it wasn’t dripping anymore. Michael’s hair was apparently as impossible to dry as it was to dye. Though Gerry did hope he managed to proof one of those as wrong, at least.

Michael had clearly enjoyed the whole experience, which had been the point Gerry had wanted to make, of course, but now he was a little anxious about the dyeing maybe not having come out to Michael’s liking. Not that Michael would say something about that if it did.

“It looked fine, as far as I can tell. Have to wait until it’s dry.”, Michael answered with a smile, and he looked so very relaxed as he sat down next to Gerry and accepted the mug pushed into his hands, that it made Gerry care a little less about the quality of the dye job. He couldn’t remember seeing Michael’s shoulders with this little tension before.

He grinned, “So you’ll tell me tomorrow, then?”

Michael nodded, taking a tentative sip from his mug. He sighed, face the very definition of bliss, as he smiled at Gerry, “Thank you, by the way.”

“You should probably wait until you can tell if you need to redye it immediately.”, Gerry chuckled.

Michael hummed, “No, I...one way or another, it felt...heavenly.”, his smile was bashful as he continued, “So even if it didn’t turn out good, thank you.”

Gerry felt the heat rise into his cheeks at that, hiding behind his hair as he looked down at his own mug, “I, uh...you're welcome. I’m...glad you enjoyed it.”

“Me too”, Michael gently tucked the hair hiding Gerry’s face behind Gerry’s ear, leaning forward to press a small kiss against Gerry’s pink cheek, making the blush deepen.

Michael chuckled at that, before sitting back again, warm mug of tea in both hands, and he closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the moment. Gerry let out a small sigh before he let himself lean into Michael’s side.

[brilliantpride]

Yako stares at the clinic ceiling, still too sore to lift her head too much or, as she’d prefer to be doing, cause a nuisance for the clinic staff. After sleeping for hours (days, maybe? it feels like time is passing too slowly), she’s awake, for better or worse. Her body feels like the time she got knocked across a field with a broadsword. Breathing or shifting too much in her bed makes her muscles strain uncomfortably, and a sharp pins-and-needles feeling comes back. 

...Phew, it feels like she’s been through it. Most of it’s a muddled mess in her mind. She remembers... the labyrinth, walking endlessly, being alone. She thinks she had a visitor, no, a few, a bunch? since she got back home, but she was half-asleep, so it’s a little hard to recall. Did Cu and Connla pop their heads in, maybe? Did Mash? Ritsu?

...It’s quiet in here. It must be late. Or early...

“Ody?” she asks, quietly, but no voice answers her. ... “Ody,” she says, more insistently. Nothing. Yako sits up, searches for a terminal to tap on, despite the numbness in her arms. Her comms are gone... she must’ve left them in the labyrinth. Her jacket... where is it? She’s not wearing it. 

...

Yako rolls off the edge of the bed. She stumbles, bare feet on tile floor, feeling like she’s walking on knives. Even if someone drags her back, as long as she can be sure that everything’s fine...

-

Alone. It’s cold. It hurts. She’s alone. It’s so cold. It hurts so, so bad. Burned to a crisp and then exposed to the freezing cold of the outside. There’s no one here. The hallway goes on forever. She was supposed to have reached the elevator by now. 

There’s windows. ...It’s supposed to be snowy. Chaldea was snowy. Yako stares out the giant windows, the ones that run from floor to ceiling the size of a cathedral, so big it makes her feel like Fou; the world outside is... 

...space.

Twinkling, vast, the stars paint the universe, glittering and surrounding. Her breath catches and she presses her face to the glass; but she falls through, no glass to catch her, and finds herself tumbling out into the depths beyond. ...With no air to yell, she uselessly tries to swim backwards, but there’s nothing to push herself against. She floats, drifting away, even colder and more alone than before. The chill stings her scars, feels like the white-hot inferno she’s been bathed in before. 

...

...How long is she like this? Staring out at the billions of stars she can’t reach, so beautiful but too far away to grasp. 

I am Ananga. I am Atanu. I am Manmath and Kusumashar... 

Yako turns her head, trying to find the source of the voice. It feels like it’s coming from everywhere at once... 

Born from the mind. Lacking a body. No, my body was burned away. All because I did what that nagging goddess asked me to do, and interrupt her husband’s meditation just so she could get it on with him. Talk about throwing a tantrum. Why was I punished for doing something I was supposed to do? 

...Hey, just why are you here? Do you want to steal a peek at me that badly? I’m not in the mood, so get the hell out.

She’s back on solid ground again. This is... her high school?

White-painted brick walls covered with posters. A chalkboard that just had a smart-board installed in the last year. Metal desks and tile floor, and herself, a weighty backpack over her shoulders. She shrugs it off and drops it on the floor, and sinks into a desk chair, even though there’s no one here. She stares out a window, at a clear-blue sky with a ring in it...

...

She hasn’t thought about this place in a while. It wasn’t a very great place for her. Of course she threw all she had into it, but it was like things went in one ear and out the other, no matter how many times she tried reading textbooks or taking useless notes---the things she focused on were never the things on the tests, or she knew an answer but forgot it as soon as she stared at a quiz... All she really had to look forward to was chatting with her friends at lunchtime, though it felt like they were better friends with each other than with her. After school she would sit with a book, wishing the world, and her monotonous everyday with it, would just disappear, and she’d exist like that right up until the time she was supposed to be applying for colleges, suddenly remembering she was expected to fit herself into a world that wasn’t made for her, find something to ‘do’ and stick her identity to for the rest of her life, make something of herself so she didn’t disappoint her parents (though she’s sure that ship has sailed already)---but just what are you supposed to do when you’re not good at anything? 

It was, in a word---

---so lonely. 

Someone sits next to her. She doesn’t try to talk to them. Who is that, anyway? Where’s the teacher? The rest of the class? It’s too quiet... Did she come here on a weekend by accident? (Then how did she get inside?) 

...Oh, right. She’s not in school anymore. She graduated, things happened, and then she thought she’d gotten her first job, when...

...

“It’s not much to look at,” Yako pipes up, resting her chin in her hand. “I have more interesting memories.” She doesn’t look away from the window. It doesn’t matter who it is. “Unless you’re trying to find something that makes me insecure? ...Yeah, then I guess you found it.”

She sinks down in her seat, folds her arms on top of the desk, leans her head down. “Being trapped. Being stuck. Being forced to play a role that I just can’t. ...I can’t even think of what I thought I was gonna do. I think I thought I’d take a gap year that would turn into being a high-school grad with no future hopping between part-time jobs because it felt better than trying to... do something with myself. And then... here I am. Saving the world. Giving up a normal life altogether just because I haven’t figured my shit out by eighteen. Makes me kinda feel like an ungrateful asshole... My parents just wanted to make a good life for me, and that’s how I repaid them.”

She waves a hand dismissively. “Maybe it’s the atmosphere that makes me want to talk. I don’t really care.”

There’s silence. No... maybe she just can’t hear? Outside the window, it’s turned to night, the stars glittering beautifully. The lamps in the schoolyard parking lot look kind of like little suns.

“Not like any of this is gonna help you. I don’t have any doubts about what I’m doing. I know it’s the right thing, and I’ll keep going, no matter what. ...But I have regrets, yeah. I wish I’d tried harder. I wish I hadn’t given up like that, or become such... a shell. If you showed me a picture of who I looked like when I graduated, I’d ask you why her eyes look so dead.”

...It was only natural for me to become like this.

“I got here. I learned magic existed. I learned I could do magic. I learned I was chosen because I could do magic. I thought I found an adventure made just for me. And then--- I... ran away. I knew it would disqualify me. I’d be sent home. I was afraid I’d screw it up. I hid in a bathroom, and I think... that’s the only reason I’m still alive...” (Is she crying...?) “I remember prying open the door and the metal burning my hands, but I just kept going, because I was desperate, I didn’t want to die here. I remembered I was supposed to be able to do magic, so I used a reinforcement spell, even if I didn’t know what that was, and I pulled open the door and got myself out. I should’ve run away. Instead, I ran towards the core... the Rayshift room. I tried to get people out. Everyone in there was dead already. I wanted to save someone... just one person...

“...but the smoke was bad, and there wasn’t enough air... and I realized I would die in there if I stayed, but I wanted to help someone... and then a hole opened up and I heard screaming and there was the Director and she--- ...and then I...”

The feeling of dizziness and suffocating as smoke clogs your mouth. Flames licking at your skin. If you don’t want to die, form a contract with me. 

"All this place does is remind me of how useless I used to be. ...And still am, in a lot of ways. No matter how many times I tell myself I’m stronger now, I can take care of myself, I still find ways to cause problems for everyone. I keep having to get saved. I told myself I’d practice, I’d learn, I’d put more effort into this than I have anything else in my entire life, but I’m still lagging behind.” 

And maybe she always will be. Maybe she’ll never be enough.  Those thoughts will always stick with her, even after all the progress she’s made.

"...But the funny thing is... Yeah, I’m frustrated, but it just makes me want to try harder. Like if I just stretch out a little more, maybe I can grab those stars outside. It’s weird, right? I feel kinda like I should want to give up... but I just can’t. I want to keep going. I want to get stronger. It’s not even in an ‘I’m gonna prove myself wrong’ way, it’s just... natural. It feels good. If nothing’s a challenge anymore, then what’s the point of living? I’ll just go back to being bored all the time.”

She sits up again and turns her head, meeting a face she doesn’t quite recognize. She smiles, then she laughs, feeling a bit vulnerable.

“So even if you want to tell me it’s useless and I should give up, all I can say is... sorry, I’m too dumb to know when to count myself out. I’ll just keep going, getting stronger, getting knocked down, and getting back up again. See, the thing is, the more times you peel yourself off the pavement, the faster you get at it---and the less it hurts.”

-

Yako stretches and yawns, the pain in her body lessened somewhat. It’s probably the medicine, sure. She doesn’t feel as feverish, but she still feels like her muscles are made out of marbles... Man, it’ll suck if she needs to build up her strength again before she can head out in the next Lostbelt. 

“Ody?” she calls, absentminded. From a terminal by her bedside, a sound chimes.

[ Good to see you again, Yako. ]

“Ody! I was worried about you. What happened?”

[ The computer systems had been compromised, so I isolated my program from the kernel. ]

“Well, I’m sure glad to hear from you again! Just you wait, once I’m out of the clinic I’m coming for the sim! For some reason, I’m feeling really motivated!”

[ I’ll be sure to take your physicians’ recommendations into account. ]

Aww, seems like she’ll have to take it easy for a while. Ah, well. She’ll just have to find her momentum again! “Hehe. Sounds great. Let’s do our best together, okay?”

[thedailyimagines]

Imagine working at Freddy’s Pizzeria, and telling your dad something is wrong. (Part One)

Description: The reader just got a new job at Freddy Fazbear’s. He thinks something is up and is proven right on the first night. Maybe his dad can help? This is the family business...

.

So I’ve never played FNAF, but from one reddit thread I gathered that it takes place in Utah. Please let me know if this is wrong!

~~~~~~~~

Another day, another motel in Nowhere, Utah. Y/n was starting to wonder if his dad and uncle actually knew what they were doing or if they were just taking a break from their case. They had already been here three days.

“So...when are we leaving?” Dean didn’t look up from the newspaper he was reading.

“Sam said the guy we’re talking with could need us for about another week. Maybe two.” Groaning, y/n flopped back onto the motel bed. He was so bored!

“Can I help?”

“No. Too dangerous and I can’t be worried about you getting hurt while working.” Y/n started to pick at one of the threads on the comforter.

“Sam will be there, he can keep an eye on me too.” Dean finally looked up from his newspaper.

“Y/n. I understand you want to help but I need to know your safe. That means sitting out on this one, okay?”

“Fine. But I’m helping next time.” Dean smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Alright.”

<—>

Help Wanted: Nightguard; Details inside.

That was the sign that greeted y/n when he went on a food run. The pizzeria looked run down, but hopefully looks were deceiving; otherwise it was burgers again.

“Whatever. Anything is better than burgers again.” Y/n opened the door of the pizzeria and was greeted to possibly the saddest place he’d ever seen. The restaurant looked empty and outdated, and the animal robots—animatronics, y/n told himself—on the stage were...actually kinda creepy.

“Hi! Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, how can I help you?” A cheerful voice broke through the silent restaurant, and y/n found himself faced with a waitress probably just older than himself.

“Yeah. You guys are open, right? I didn’t walk in when you were about to close?”

“We’re still open!” Y/n nodded and almost took a step back from the waitress. She was almost scary perky.

“Okay, cool. I didn’t want to walk in at the last minute. Do you have a menu I could look at?”

“Yep, here you go!” Glancing at the menu, the majority of it seemed to be character themed pizzas. Y/n decided to make conversation as he looked for something the three Winchesters would all like.

“I saw your ad about the night guard position on the door—” Y/n was cut off before he could finish.

“Oh, are you going to apply? Here, let me get my manager!” Before y/n was able to ask for more details, the overly perky waitress had gone into a back room. She returned with a balding man who was smiling widely.

“Good afternoon! So, you’re interested in the night guard job?” Y/n shook his head.

“I was actually just curious. And looking for someplace to grab lunch.” The manager’s face fell.

“Oh, my bad. I thought you were hoping to apply for the position.”

“I mean, what exactly are the details? I might know someone who could apply.” He really didn’t, but y/n felt sorta bad for getting the older man excited for nothing.

“Well, it’s a temporary position. Five nights, and all you have to do is stay in the security office.” Temporary? Maybe y/n could do this job and get some spare cash. He could use some new tires for his bike...

“That’s it?” The manager nodded.

“Yep! It does have a low pay, but we are going out of business soon and don’t have the funds to pay much more than $200.”

“I see. Could I apply?” Placing his chin in his hand, the manager looked y/n up and down.

“It depends. How old are you?”

“I’m eighteen years old.” A lie, but y/n highly doubted the man would hire a sixteen year old. He looked old enough to be eighteen (at least, Sam said he did).

“Alright. And do you have any serious health problems or conditions?” That wasn’t something y/n was expecting. Wasn’t there paperwork for this kind of thing?

“Uh...no?” The manager grinned widely. It was a bit unsettling.

“Great! Can you start tomorrow?” Y/n’s eyes widened. Was this even legal?

“Wait, seriously? That’s it?”

“Yep! And don’t worry about buying a uniform, we’ll provide you with a shirt.”

“Alright then. What time do I come in?” The manger went back to his office, returning with a shirt and a sheet of paper.

“Just be here before twelve AM. Your shift ends at six. This paper has all the details and my number in case of emergency.” Y/n took the shirt and paper from the manager.

“Got it. And one more thing?” The manager raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“Can I order a large cheese pizza?”

<—>

“That was possibly the grossest pizza I’ve ever eaten.” Dean pushes his plate away, one slice still left on it. Y/n took another bite of his and grimaced, wondering how exactly you screwed up a pizza this bad.

“Don’t blame me, I didn’t make it.” Sam set his plate down, all the cheese gone on his slice after it slid off.

“Where did you get it? So we know to avoid that place.”

“Place called Freddy Fazbear’s. Also I kinda-sorta-maybe got a temporary job there.” Dean choked on his soda and Sam had a surprised look on his face.

“Wait, what?” Y/n put his hands up defensively.

“So this place needed a night guard for like five nights and I figured since we’re going to be here for a while, it wouldn’t hurt!” Dean shook his head and turned to his son.

“Y/n—” Y/n interrupted before his father could finish speaking.

“Dad, it’s only five nights in a building that was empty in the middle of the day. It’s probably just as empty at night.” Dean rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea...” Y/n rolled his eyes and took a drink of his soda.

“Seriously. It’s six hours of watching a restaurant in the middle of the night. What could possibly happen?”

<—>

Y/n parked his bike outside the pizzeria and chained it to the bike rack. Even at night the place was creepy, possibly creepier. Making sure he had the keys he received earlier, y/n headed inside.

It was eerily quiet without the music playing from the speakers. The animatronics were on the stage, and y/n couldn’t help but shudder as he walked by them.

“Creepy as hell, but entertaining to kids.” Y/n snorted, walking quickly away from the stage. He soon found the security office. From a quick look around, it appeared that all y/n would have were the cameras.

“Right. Let’s see...I guess I’ll just sit and play on my phone?” At that exact moment, the office phone rang. Y/n picked it up to hear the tone for a prerecorded message.

"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay? Thinking it was just a welcoming message, y/n began poking around the small office while the message played on. There really wasn’t much in there, and the doors had weird buttons near them.

“...So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.”

“Wait, what?” Before y/n could entirely process what the phone guy said, he accidentally knocked the phone down and unplugged it from the wall. Y/n scrambled to plug it back in but the message was already gone. “Shit!”

Slumping down in the chair, y/n ran a hand through his hair. Why would he possibly be at risk of dying? It was only a night guard job! That was when he spotted the note on the desk.

“Seriously, what the hell is up with this place?” Y/n decided to take a look at the cameras. Yep, there were all the animatronics—where was the rabbit? Flipping through each camera, y/n kept an eye open for the rabbit until—

“There! Wait, that’s down the hall. Is it coming here?” Y/n quickly jumped out of his chair and ran to the door, hitting the button to shut it. Not a second later the rabbit was outside, trying to get in.

It didn’t stop after the rabbit left. The whole night, each animatronic kept trying to get inside the office. At one point, three animatronics

At 5:57, y/n lost power.

“It’s fine. There’s only three minutes left.”

5:58. Two minutes. The fox animatronic entered the office, and lunged towards y/n. He ducked out of the way and bit back a scream at the hook cutting deep into his shoulder.

The fox turned around for a second go, and—

—it straightened, turned, and left the office, leaving behind a very confused y/n. As soon as the manager arrived, y/n booked it back to the motel he, his father and his uncle were staying at.

<—>

“Hey, did you see where I left my keys?” Y/n didn’t pay attention, too focused on his research to notice Dean talking to him.

“Y/n?” Y/n glanced up at his father, one eyebrow raised.

“What?”

“Did you hear what I said?” Y/n shook his head.

“Sorry, I was busy. What’s up?”

“My keys, do you know where they are?” Y/n pretended to be deep in thought for a moment.

“Uhh...your pocket?” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Very funny. What’s got you so occupied?” Y/n turned his laptop around to face Dean, a search for ‘Freddy’s pizzeria’ displayed on the screen.

“The animatronics at the place I’m working tried to kill me last night. Also I should probably look into getting a tetanus shot.” Sam peeked out from the bathroom door with a confused expression.

“What?” Y/n pulled the collar of his shirt to the side, revealing a bloody bandage to his father and uncle. Dean’s eyes widened in shock.

“What the hell happened to you?!?!”

“I told you, a robot pirate fox with a hook tried to kill me!”

~~~~~~~~

I don’t own the above gif, all credit goes to the owner.

[distant-rose]

Carousels and Pretzels

Notes: @welllpthisishappening​ is an amazing person and I will never forget the day we met and started chatting and realized we know a lot of the same places. This is a dumb and purely indulgent fic that is full of Albany/Capital Region references most readers might not understand but admittedly, they’re only meant to be understood by one person and that’s Laura. She’s a phenomenal person, literally one of my favorite people and just an all around amazing human being who doesn’t get enough recognition for just how perfect and wonderful she is. Anyway, this was going to be a much longer fic but I kinda ran out of time. Also, Druthers has better pretzels than Brown’s, fight me. Summary: Emma Swan takes a job at Hoffman’s Playland with the hope of not running into anyone she knows from UAlbany. Instead, she runs into Killian Jones, a former lacrosse athlete whose tragic accident she covered as a story back in February. Word Count: 2,000+ Rating: T+

Hoffman’s Playland wasn’t Emma’s first choice of summer employment. If it were up to her, she would have been working for the Troy Record all summer, but their internships weren’t paid, and Emma had to rent to account for and she refused to hike all the way up to Lake George to work the depressing lunch shift at King Neptune’s again. 

It wasn’t the worst place in the world to work. Though she was forced to wear the ugliest combo of a polo and cargo shorts and the staff break room constantly smelled of Subway, her coworkers were pretty okay and was only a thirteen-minute commute from her apartment in Troy. Furthermore, it was monotonous enough that she could spend her days plotting how she was going to run the Inklings magazine this year and whether or not she should apply to grad school or try to apply for a job at the Times Union while she’s finishing up her last year.

Another plus was no one knew her at Hoffman’s aside from Mary-Margaret. It made everything easier, especially after her huge breakup with Neal and the amount of rumors of drug use that circled around afterward. They had broken up not longer after his dorm got raided and he tried to pin his stash of pot on her, nearly getting her expelled from the school. The last month of Spring Term was awful and she was lucky that most of her newspaper and literary magazine friends stood by her or else she wouldn’t still be in school, let alone have made it as the sports editor of the Albany Student Press and Inklings in the fall.

Still, the way things went put a bad taste in her mouth and she hoped that it would too stale for anyone to care about by the time that September rolled around. With most of the clientele of Hoffman’s being families with small children, she’s highly doubted that she would know anyone who went there.

Until she did.

Actually, that wasn’t entirely true.

Emma didn’t know Killian Jones personally, but it was a name and face she’s gotten to know well over the past three years. While she had never truly met the guy, it was imperative that she knew of his existence as a staff writer for the student paper and then later on as the girlfriend of Neal Cassidy, the starting lacrosse goalie.

His name wasn’t one that was said with fondness, but usually disdain. The name Killian Jones was generally premised by the use of the word “fuck”, “screw” or any variety of obscenity. There were three reasons for this hatred: 1) he went to Siena, UAlbany’s cross-town rival, 2) he played lacrosse and 3) he was good at it.

At least he used to be.

In February, he got into a car accident in Troy, a mere three streets away from her apartment. It has been a nasty one, which ended in the loss of not only his girlfriend’s life and his hand, but also his lacrosse career. She remembers quite clearly writing up the article on it for the Albany Student Press and then later on the party that had been thrown by Neal in celebration of his fallen adversary. Neal had hated Killian with a passion and the two of them had gotten in a fight during a game last year, which ended with a picture of Killian punching Neal square in the face on the front page of the Times Union sports section. 

Emma, on the other hand, felt bad for him. Despite the fact she had attended Neal’s horrible party, she had argued that it was in poor taste. Killian might have been “the enemy” but what happened to him was horrible and alongside reading a very sympathetic article on his behalf, she had even sent a condolence card.

Since then, Emma hadn’t so much of heard or seen anything on Killian Jones until he was standing in front of her, wearing a green Siena lacrosse sweatshirt and jeans in the middle of July and holding the hand of a small blonde girl no older than six.

She was so stunned by the fact he was standing in front of her that she did little more than stare at him for a good few seconds. She completely forgot to give her greeting and safety spiel.

Luckily, she was saved by his little companion.

“Hi!”

“Um, hi.”

“You’re pretty.”

“Thank you. You’re pretty too,” she replied, laughing at her awkwardness. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Alice! What’s yours?”

“I’m Emma,” she smiled. “Would you like to go on the ride?”

“Yeah,” Alice beamed before tugging roughly on Killian Jones’s hand. “Uncle Killy, give her a ticket!”

“Right,” he mumbled, fishing through the pockets before handing her a crumbled ticket.

She deposited it in the proper container before starting up the ancient carousel. The old music croaked through the speakers as it slowly started to move, but Alice didn’t seem to mind. It’s obvious to Emma that she’s pretending that the horse she’s riding was real, and the sweetness of the scene filled her made her smile.

Still burning with curiosity, she glanced back at Killian. He was standing a few lengths away and watching his niece with his forearms practically stuffed into the front pocket of his hoodie. As if sensing her glaze, his eyes shifted in her direction. Despite the urge to look away, she often him a small smile instead. He didn’t return the gesture.

When the ride stopped and Alice hopped off, he took her hand and left without a word. Only Alice turned back to give her a wave. Emma returned it tentatively, wondering if she upset him and swallowing her questions.

She didn’t know why she cared so much.

Much to her surprise, they return the next day. This time, he was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a leather jacket despite the fact was nearing a ninety-degrees. Again, he didn’t speak much, letting Alice do all the talking. They show again the next day and the day after that; each and every time Emma had tapped down her inner journalist to keep from asking questions that were burning in the back of her throat. What happened to you? Why do you wear long-sleeved shirts? Why do you keep coming to this ridiculous 1950s amusement park?

Following Wednesday was a cloudy and humid day and there was only a handful of people in the park and none of them seem interested in riding the carousel. Emma fought the urge to play on her phone. Despite the horrible weather, Killian and Alice showed up yet again. The little precocious girl handed her a fistful of tickets.

This time Killian stood closer to the operator stand, practically hovering over her shoulder. He and Alice had been coming every day for nearly a week and a half now, and never before he had stood so close to her. She did her best to ignore him, focusing all of her attention on the little girl on the painted horse.

“How many times do you think she can ride that thing before she throws up?”

She nearly jumped at the question, turning to face him with surprise. He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes trained on Alice, but Emma could tell he was waiting for a response.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “Depends on how strong her stomach is, I guess?”

He nodded. A few beats passed before he spoke again. “You look tired.”

“I haven’t been sleeping well,” she admitted. “I don’t have any air conditioning and my room in my apartment is kinda like a hot box.”

“That sucks. We don’t have AC either, but we’ve kinda be taking to sleeping on the porch since it’s screened in.”

“I don’t really have the option. I live in Troy.”

“Oh? Where? I’m familiar with it.”

“Let me guess? Bootleggers?” Emma asked sarcastically, without thinking. Bootleggers was a well-known college bar a few blocks away from where she lived and it was known to be frequented by obnoxious underage Siena students with fake IDs. It was constantly being shut down and reopened.

Killian laughed, a loud and boisterous sound that caught Emma by surprise once more. She had never seen him look so animated.

“Maybe, when I was a baby freshman, but I would like to think my taste level has gotten better since then. So, yeah, you located? Lansingburgh? North Central? The Hill? Sycaway? 

“Downtown. Third street.”

“By Brown Bag burger place, right?”

“That’s on Fourth street, but yeah, pretty close. More by the Ruck.”

“I love that bar. They have great wings.”

“They do and they’re less expensive than Brown’s. One of my roommates is a bartender there. David. He may or may not give us free pitchers occasionally.”

“Brown’s is expensive, but it’s good beer. I love their oatmeal stout. Their pretzels with the honey mustard are amazing.”

“They do have good pretzels but the one at Druthers are better.”

“Druthers? Isn’t that in Saratoga? It’s a bit hike, isn’t?”

“No. There’s on in Albany on Broadway,” she responded. “It’s not too far from the Pump Station and Old English.”

She was almost embarrassed about the fact that she often referenced locations by the bars in the neighborhood. In her defense, she had lived in the Albany area for nearly three years and have been involved in more Birthday tours than she could count.

“You’re a bit of a foodie, huh?”

“I used to write for the local eats section of the Albany Student Press my freshman and sophomore year before they switched me over to a different section,” Emma chuckled. “Needless to say, it was a bitch to keep off the freshman fifteen when you’re eating at every cool and exciting places across the Capital Region every week.”

“Sounds like a hardship.”

“For my scale, yes, it was,” she laughed.

When they ran out of tickets, Emma wasn’t sure who was more disappointed, Alice for no longer being able to ride the carousel or Killian for having to end their conversation. He reach forward and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

“You here tomorrow?”

“Same time, every day.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

He didn’t disappoint. This time not only bringing his niece, but also a large Dunkin Donuts coffee as well. Emma stood in shock as he handed it to her.

“I figured that you would like this since you’re not sleeping lately.”

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“No, but I wanted to.”

“Why?”

“Because you treated me like a person and not some wounded animal,”

“Oh…” She didn’t know what to say to that. “We just talked about food.”

“And it was the best conversation I’ve had in a long time,” he responded, lifting up his arm, which was once more covered by a Siena lacrosse hoodie. He pulled it back to expose the scarred stump left behind by the accident. “Yesterday was the first time I talked to someone aside from my niece who didn’t mention or talk about my accident. I felt normal again.  Coffee is the least I could do.”

“You’re welcome, I guess. Seriously. Thank you. It’s the nicest,” she said, taking a sip and giving him a small smile.

Growing impatient with the conversation, Alice tugged her uncle’s sweatshirt.

“You didn’t ask her yet,” she told him impatiently, not at all impressed with her uncle. He looked amusingly chastised for someone being told off by a six-year old.

“I was just getting to it.”

“Well, ask her so she’ll let me on the ride.”

“Okay, okay, Miss Pushy,” he responded with a roll of her eyes before giving Emma an apologetic grin.

“Ask me what?” Emma prompted him with a question.

“Well, if you’re not doing anything later, would you mind going to Druthers with me and, you know, having some pretzels and comparing them to Brown’s?”

“Just pretzels?”

“Well, and a beer or two? Perhaps maybe even dinner?”

“He likes you and wants to be your boyfriend,” Alice stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest and huffing at Killian.

“Well, that’s a good thing because I like him too,” Emma laughed. “And, yeah, we can go to Druthers and depending on whether or not, he agrees Druthers has better pretzels, maybe, just maybe, I’ll be his girlfriend.”

[thehobbitse]

Fanfic: Obsessions (Jake Peralta X OFC)

Author’s note: Hi, this is like my first fic EVER, plus english is not my natural language, so if you see any misspellings please warn me (and be kind lol).

This story happens in the last episode of the season 2, here Amy never dumped Teddy and the ofc goes on the case in her place. Also Holt doesn’t leave the precinct.

Words: 3.466 more or less

Sinopse: A new detective arrived at the 99th precinct, Megan Moretti fought hard for this job. At first she doesn’t like Detective Peralta, so Holt puts her in a case with him to see if she get along.

Prologue

It's been two months since I became a detective of NYPD and transfered to the 99th precinct in Brooklyn. It wasn't my first option, but it turned out to be not that bad, I liked my coworkers and the cases were interesting. My boss Captain Raymond Holt was a really serious guy, but he always wanted our best and other detectives told me he really improved the work on the precinct. Gina Lanetti was Captain's Holt secretary, she usually did cruel coments about everyone and was really sarcastic, people's opinion about her would vary but everyone agreed that she was a inteligent, smart woman. Sargent Jeffords worked hard to garantee his baby girls a good life (and also because he is a good professional), he is really afectionate and helped me a lot when I first entered as a detective. My coleagues were kinda.... unic, Diaz is the tough girl, her friends know little about her personal life even though sometimes she ends up telling somethings, she is truly a great cop and you can count on her. Santiago is a perfectionist, sometimes is really hard to stand her method, but it benefits the precinct, also she always tries to support you. Boyle is a hard worker, his fondness can be taken as clumsyness sometimes, but he just likes people and can be astute when you're not expecting it. There is Hitchcock and Scully and.... I... I don't really know why do they still work there. Sargent Jeffords told me they are in the precinct since the 80's. And finally Jake Peralta, the childish, immature and annoying detective, Santiago told me he won a bet last year and got more arrests over the year than her, and she ended up in a date with him. I still don't know how she survived it and more: I don't know HOW he managed to arrest so many people. 

He was always joking and talking loud and.... well I couldn't understand why people, liked him. Boyle mentioned that he had a thing for Amy and I laughed my lungs out (which Boyle didn't like because he shipped it so hard). Amy was a smart, responsible woman who had a serious relationship with a cop from another precinct. And Jake was the guy who rarely talked serious (at least with me!) and eated gummies for lunch. 

Well let me tell you something, I entered the NYPD when I was still finishing college, I worked hard to be one of the most youngest detectives, I sacrificed friendships and dates for this. It was serious. So when I knew a 30something was playing around in his chair, throwing things on people and still got the most arrests in a year, it really got me annoyed. I worked hard to get here and Jake seemed to be blessed with some gift. I knew he was a good detective, it just seemed unfair. Anyway, I really liked my new job.

Chapter 1- How Long

 The day at the precinct started with Scully screaming because the vending machine needed to be replaced, it was funny to see that everyone was attached to it, I felt the urge to laugh, but as I was new and it seemed almost serious, so I thought better not to. That was until the the maintenance man droped the machine and it’s glass shattered. Obviously Jake had to scream “FREE CANDYYY” and everyone went for it. I decided to stay away and head to the meeting room. See, I don’t interact easily, it’s not that I don’t want to, I’ve never been good at it. When it all calmed down, they started to enter the room and sit and wait for Captain Holt, I watched as Peralta arrenged the presentation.

As soon as Holt has arrived, Jake introduced us to Michael Augustin, the ‘most prolific thief’, then he continued “My CI says tonight Augustine will hand off the laptop to a buyer from China, aka the "Land of Dragons” I rolled my eyes with the joke, Captain Raymond made sure he didn’t put that in his report and he replied with another joke “Okay, the country of dragons”. I was full of his childish manners in serious situations and said:

“Can we please go on with that?” I urged and sudenlly repented for doing so because the whole squad went quiet and looked at me. Gina said an almost inaudible ‘oooh’, Jake’s expression was like ‘wtf’. I tried my best to retrive it ”Uh... because I really need to...” it was when our Captain interrupted me.

“I want you and Moretti on his tail until he makes the drop and then arrest him and the buyer.” WHAT? I couldn’t believe he made me go on a ‘mission’ with Peralta... it seemed like he did it on purpose.

“Sounds good, although I could probaly just take Boyle, I know... Megan is busy and-“ I couldn’t contradict that (but I must admit it surprised me he didn’t want to go on this case with me) untill Captain Holt interrupted again:

“Peralta and Moretti will tail Augustin, Boyle and Diaz will join then in the surveillance van. Unless you have a problem with that.” And of course we didn’t have a problem with that. Nobody would dare to contradict the captain’s orders.

        Later in my desk, I was going through files to see if I could find anything that could help me in this case. I liked so much that my desk was right next to Rosa’s, no small talk, she is a great silent partner and I think she liked that too because I wouldn’t bother her. I was so accustomed to not having to talk and so into my work that I startled when Rosa addressed me:

“Hey. Are you okay with going after that guy tonight?” Well.. she was being nice. It was my first task this big since I arrived the precinct

“Oh yeah, I’m really excited, it will be nice to work with you and Boyle”

“Great.” And this was Rosa, straight to the point, but deep down she cared.

I was about to go back to my work when Gina called from her desk and told me captain Holt wanted to talk to me, I think she shouldn’t have done that because most people in the place gave me that look ‘girl, you’re screwed’. I took a deep breath and got up from my chair, with luck he would just want to know how I was doing with the work.

 Entering his office, I felt my anxiety rising and my palms sweating.

“It came to my knowledge that you do not get along with Detective Peralta, and for the best of the team I want you to work with him to settle this. That’s why I put you in this case with him” I wasn’t expecting for this, I knew Jake was like his prodigy or something like that, and it’s not that I hated him, it’s just that he annoys me with his stupid jokes.

“I didn’t know it was so apparent, sir. I’m sorry, I’ll try to see things from his side... it’s just that he is so childish and yet can be a great detective and I fought so much for this place..” as I explained mysef he raised his hand in a sign to let him talk.

“You know as a black man who is also gay, I fought a lot to be here” Ouch. Now thinking about what he’s been through my complainings seemed really little “When I first came in he did not want to wear ties, in the end he understood that it was na uniform. He grew a lot as a person and as a cop”.

“Yes, of course sir, I’m really embarrassed with this story. I’ll do my best.”

“You can go, and please tell Gina that I want to talk to her and Sargent Jeffords” It wasn’t that bad, if someone like Raymond Holt can like Jake perhaps I could like him too.

  At 6pm we were all in the car, around 6:20pm we stopped in front of a fancy restaurant, Augustin entered with his girlfriend. We saw him with the laptop and Jake suggested us to go inside undercover.

“Wait, we can’t go inside dressed like this” I said as I took of my jaquet and let my hair loose. I searched for a lip balm with a bit of color to apply, I stopped when I saw Rosa and Jake looking at me like I was weird “What? I always bring it so my lips won’t get dry”.

“Well me too, the Boyles have a condition that makes our lips go dry like the Sahara” said Charles while taking a lip moisturizer from his pocket.

 “UUGH” me, Rosa and Jake said in unison.

Thereafter, Jake put Scully’s blazer and it kinda looked cute, I mean funny.

As soon as we stteped into the restaurant, we saw Michael and his girlfriend, we asked for a table for two but the waitress said everything was booked out. It was when an Idea came to me. I said to mylself ‘Okay, we’re doing this’ and:

“Oh no, that’s horrible! Tonight is a really important night for us” Jake looked at me not knowing what to do, so I just grabed his arm and gave a squeeze and continued “Johnny and I just got engaged and this is where our first date was”. He appeared to understand and moved on.

“Yeah it would mean so much to Dora and me. I would have made a reservation but I didn’t know if she was gonna say yes” wow he was good!

“I Love how nervous you were you little goose” he was really good at it because it never crossed my mind that after that he would kiss my cheek.

I mean it was just a kiss in the cheek, but it’s been so long since I ever did something like that I felt goosebumps in my skin. It was silly and I was startlet. I really hoped that he didn’t notice my clumsiness. The woman in the balcony fell for it and said she would find us a table.

She told us to wait in a corner, Jake put his hand around my waist and I felt that my heart skipped a bit .While we waited, the atmosphere got heavyer, I tried to look to the other side to see if I could find Michael and his girl. Turned out we found them. Because our table was right next to their’s. I was praying to the gods that they would not pull conversation but it did not happen.

“You’re the couple that just got engaged!” Augustin’s girlfriend said cheerfully. They bought us champagne and kept asking us stuff like where did we met, what was the ring etc. We made it alive until Augustin said he wanted to say ‘hi’ to the chef. Jake thought he was going to make the drop but it turned out he just really wanted to say ‘’hi’. We had to think fast before Michael saw us there.

That’s when Jake holded my face and kissed me.

My head was like ‘BIIITCH WHAT THE FUUUCK???’ a rush of feelings passed throught my brain. Okay it was a simple Kiss. No tongue involved. And it worked because Augustin passed us by laughing.

 I separated quickly and said “Are you crazy?”

“Sorry, but it worked out fine” my face softened, ‘ok it was just work after all’.

“Right. Let’s get back to the case” I said and moved to the exit in a hurry.

In the car, Jake told Rosa and Charles what happened (except the Kiss part because Boyle would never let it go) and everything went silent until the car we were following stopped in an empty and poorly lit street. We saw Augustin get out of the car and drop the package.

“You and Rosa follow Augustine” said Jake to Charles “We’re gonna stay with the package”.

 And so they did, we kept waiting for the buyer’s arrival under a tree where it was dark so no one could see us.

“Why do you hate me?” asked Jake out of sudden. If I had something in my mouth I would have spilled it out. I hated this kind of situations because I suck at pulling feelings out.

 “I don’t hate you”

“Then why you don’t ever laugh at my jokes and always avoids me? You seemed very uncomfortable when Holt put you is this case” Okay, why did he cared about that?

 “Alright... at first I thought that you were really childish and annoying and I didn’t think it was fair for you to be such a great detective, but... you’re a good person. I’m sorry” I tried my best to explain myself. In fact when I said it out loud I realised that there was no reason for me to be so bothered with him. He always treated me nice and did his job.

“Ha, you said I’m a great detective” he uttered with a smile, I knew he wasn’t upset with me after that. In fact, when did his smile get so cute? “Hey, there is the buyer....he is looking at us”.

Again I remembered when Black Widow said that people feel uncomfortable with public displays of affection and kissed Jake. I must admit that I was starting to enjoy it. Shit, what was I thinking? It must have been the thrill of the entire context. Anyway, my move worked out because the guy grabbed the package and started to walk away. I saw that and soon reached for my gun and yelled “NYPD, FREEZE”

Jake completed me and said “You’re under arrest! This is a work event!”

 Shit. The reason why I disliked Peralta before may have been because I have a slight crush on him. I realised that as we got into the precinct and I watched his face as we arrested the buyer, I paid attention to his hands (I have a hand kink okay?) and his mouth and though about what they could do, I imagined what would he look like in the nude. Oh crap, I shouldn’t be thinking about this. I didn’t have this type of feelings in a long time because I choose to abandon social life to focus on my career. And  because my romantic relationships were all doomed to ruin. My subconscious probably opted for closing up, and it worked for a while.

Around 9:30pm I was at the living room when Jake showed up for me to sign the report. As I did he tried to break the ice with some awkward jokes.

“It’s okay, we’re professionals” I said to calm him down. I’m pretty sure he would have prefered to go on this case with Amy. Actually she entered the room in that moment and I swear I saw Jake’s eyes light up, his face softened and I knew he still liked her, I don’t know why I felt a bit of disappointment.

“Guys can you come here, I have something I need to tell everybody” she was super excited and I wondered what it was. We headed outside the living room, everyone was there except Rosa, I saw Charles in the other side of the room and I went to talk to him.

“Hey, where is Rosa?” I poked him in the arm.

“She is celebrating her bday with Marcus” he told me cheerfuly, I supposed Marcus was her boyfriend. I couldn’t ask because Amy went to talk.

“I have an annoucement to make... after dating for seven months, Teddy proposed” she made a pause even thought we all knew she said Yes, nobody would announce a broke up to everyone “I said Yes!”

The hole precinct celebrated, the good thing about being and introvert is that you can see things that other people don’t, while everyone was congratulating Amy, I saw Jake’s face from the other side of the circle of people around the bride. He certainly was caugh by surprise, he looked like he was still processing the information. I remember liking someone and not being corresponded (high school was hard). He noticed I was looking and I gave him a conforting smile, wich he replied.

Then I went to Amy to congrats her, Jake was the last one, but I shall say that he was a good liar, he smiled like he wasn’t hurt and even made jokes about it.

“We’ll go to the bar to celebrate, drinks on us” told Amy, everyone was so happy for them two.

  At the bar I felt bad. Bad because I usually didn’t go out, I didn’t drink and didn’t know how to Interact with sober people, but drunk people was a hole new level. I was sitting in some table away from the party, my glass half empty with the same drink from hours ago when Jake came to where I was. I made a nodd inviting him to sit and so he did. Really close to me.

“Why aren’t you there?” I could tell he was drunk. Really drunk, his voice was inebriated when he spoke

“I don’t know” I responded, he put his glass down onto the table and lowered himself towards it. I didn’t know what to do, so I just put my hand reluctantly on his back and we stayed like that for a moment.

“Everything is going to change now” He affirmed after an instant of silence. Poor man.

“C’mon, I’ll take you home, you let me drive your car?” I asked and he nodded, I had the feeling that in his state he would’ve said yes to anything I asked. I had a driver licence, but choose to use the bus or the subway instead of owning a car.

We made an excuse, although people started to leave anyway because it was late, I asked Boyle where Jake’s apartment was since it’s resident was too drunk and I didn’t want to take the risk. The ride was too quiet and I noticed Jake sleeping in the passanger’s seat. ‘Poor baby’ I though, after years of shutting down to crushes and dates I couldn’t deny it anymore, it hurt to want something I couldn’t have. But I was sure his situation was worst than mine.

I stopped in the parking lot of his building and pushed his arms to woke him up. Turned out he woke up kinda scared untill he realised where he was. I asked the number of his ap and escorted him there.

I was leaving when he called my name

“Megan, stay” I froze as he spoke this words and turned back to him. He looked me in the eyes and I didn’t know what to do. The last thing I knew it’s that he crushed his lips on mine, and this kiss wasn’t like the others, it was intense, it was needy, and it was good, his tongue played with mine. It was my first kiss in ages, I could taste the alcohol in his mouth and it was the only time I liked it. He turned me around so my back was against the door of his ap, his hands on my waist pushing me closer to his body. I felt my stomach twirl and my hole body heat.

We heard steps comming and we separeted our mouths, I instantly felt the loss of it, he searched for the keys in his pockets and opened the door, pulling me inside and then closing it quickly. I droped my bag on the floor. Soon his mouth was on mine again, my arms reached up, my left hand tugged on his hair, he started to trail kisses down to my neck stoping to suck on it, I moaned as the sensations long forgotten rushed through my body again.

His right hand pushed my hair, to give him better access to my collarbone as he made a trace of kisses across my sensitive skin. I could feel my center growing hot and wet, my hips rubbed against his and his now increasing erection. His other hand went down to clutch my butt.

I couldn’t believe what was happening, in fact I started to think about it. We were coworkers, he was drunk and in love with someone else. I didn't want to be just a body for him to outlet his frustration. Not that I needed his true love, but after several delusions, I preferred to avoid this situations. I shoved my hands against his chest

“Jake, stop” he looked deeply into my eyes and I saw his confusion in the street light coming in through the window “I...we can’t” I separeted our bodies, grabbed my bag and left his apartment as fast as I could.

 Author’s note: So I want to make a sequel, but it may depend on the feedback of this one shot. Thank you xx

[bigskydreaming]

gingerjab replied to your post “ANYWAY. The petition/prayer circle for Michael Trevino to be cast as...”

I’m forever an asshole obsessed with fire/ice ships so Thunderbird or Sunfire, fuck the inhumans one off and St. John. Also, Rahul Kohli as Neal Shaara/Thunderbird/Agni. Also I’m sposed to be asleep so ignore if this is a shit idea.

For the record, I actually kinda like the Inhuman guy, cuz I mean, its not his fault he’s part of a trash franchise. I think it probably helps that I’ve only ever read one issue with him, so as to render it absolutely impossible for his writing to piss me off. I like to just close my eyes and pretend he’s a mutant. Y’know. Like I do with Kamala!

Who is obviously a mutant.

(And like.....let’s be real. The dude is a pyrokinetic with a demon form, the codename INFERNO, and his REAL name is DANTE Pertuz. DANTE. INFERNO. Like, that’s the on-the-nose-fuck-your-subtlety-we-came-here-to-be-pretentious-as-fuck-with-our-literary-references-look-how-dignified-it-makes-our-character balls to the wall character concept I am HERE for. I’m like OH HAI I SEE WHAT U DID THAR. And they’re like “oh yeah? You got it? Hahaha, we were worried nobody would, phew, good job tho. Totally adds to the character right? Pretty clever of us.” And then I’d be like Hahahaha no, not even a little bit, but ‘scool, I like him anyway cuz I’m easy like that. I put out for puns.” And then they’d be like awwwww, dammit, we worked so hard on that. And I’d be like....well, that doesn’t speak highly of your abilities, I mean it was a super obvious joke. And then I stopped making up conversations with hypothetical people in my head.)

Also, in defense of comic book St. John Allerdyce and absolutely NO OTHER VERSIONS EVER because agreed, they all suck....

Comic book St. John is a snarky Australian asshole who in between acts of mutant mass destruction, has a side career as a successful romance novelist under a pen name.

(I’m not even joking. Comic book St. John, in canon, writes romance novels in his spare time as a hobby. LOLOLOL c’mon, how is that not a great character beat for a supervillain slash occasional kinda-if-you-squint-superhero).

Anyway.

I too am also trash for fire/ice ships because SCREW SUBTLETY, WE SHIP THEMATICALLY. But like, its gotta be the RIGHT fire/ice ship. I weirdly have standards with my fire/ice ships? Probably just because I’m obsessed with Bobby Drake but whatever, who cares, how is that relevant.

I mean, OBVIOUSLY, you have your proto-fire/ice ship, the one, the original, the Word I came out of the womb prepared to preach and ship and like, spread to the masses....Bobby Drake/Johnny Storm. Because like. They are elemental dorks whose competitiveness is only matched by their dumbness, how can you not love them, I DEFY YOU TO SAY.

I’m kinda meh on Iceman/Pyro, because like, original comic book Pyro and Bobby never even interacted I think? And in cartoons they’re always totally different generations/age groups, and in the movies they’re like....boring and stale and not even all that attractive and also did I mention boring, omg no offense to whomever wrote them, but I tried reading Bobby/Pyro movie fanfic years ago because like, that’s the only movie Bobby fic there is, unless you want to read about him being an asshole to Rogue and/or cheating with Kitty and just generally driving Rogue into the arms of the much (much much much much, like ewww) older Logan or Gambit. Because srsly, so appealing. So obviously, I caved and tried reading Bobby/Pyro fics because like, they had the word ‘Bobby’ in them, and the bar is too low in my X-Men fic reading habits. And omg I fell asleep. I just. It was all just the standard m/m cookie cutter generic ‘good boy plus bad boy uwu yaoi-zowey’ bleh starring two not at all deeply written or well-acted meh-looking white dudes, and just. Why.

But that’s what I mean when I say I’m wary of fire/ice ships, because sometimes with powered characters like, authors think oh hey, LOOK ONE IS FIRE AND ONE IS ICE, THIS TOTALLY COUNTS AS THEM HAVING OPPOSITES ATTRACT PERSONALITIES AND THUS I DONT NEED TO GIVE THEM A PERSONALITY, RIGHT? Like. They’re just very boring and unimaginative in execution, just because they expect the basic premise of fire and ice/’obvious opposites attract, obviously’ to do all the work for them.

(Katey if you’re reading this I’m super for sure not talking about YOUR superpowered romances, because you are wonderful and GOOD at writing and imaginative, and thus none of this applies to you. Requisite disclaimer.)

So, when they did this random Bobby/’New Pyro Dude like where did he even come from I still dont know’ hook-up, I was prepared to like, yawn endlessly, because I figured it would be more boring imaginationless ‘ooh look what an obvious pair they are and yet still praise me for how clever I am for pairing them’ crap. 

And I was absolutely right!

(But I mean, it was written by Marc Guggenheim, the odds of it sucking were totally in my favor. Betting against them being well-written under his pen might feasibly be construed as cheating. Whatever).

And also, the art did them ZERO favors, like I know they’re both generic blond dudes in their twenties, but I LITERALLY COULD NOT TELL WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WHICH in any of the panels that they were like, in bed together or dressing or talking or literally anything until they started using their powers to fight bad guys. It was soooooooo bad. Like the art just manifested every ‘look at the white gay date his mirror reflection lol what is variety even’ cliche and beat you over the head with it.

(Also Bobby is supposed to have brown hair, which at least would’ve helped a LITTLE bit. Meh. Still was gonna suck because like, nobody had any intention of WRITING them together, like, developing their characters and laying the groundwork for a possible relationship. It was just ‘oh look, the fire and ice dude got drunk at a wedding and hooked up, cool deal, now on with the story.’)

Anyway, the ONLY redeeming potential for a Bobby/Simon relationship in my opinion is ENTIRELY due to a fic I read with them. Its probably the only fic written about Simon ever, lmfao, so its not like the writer’s characterization of him has any competition among either canon or other fans’ renditions of him. But it was pretty well written, I actually liked their portrayal of Bobby, which I’m SUPER picky about in fanfics, and they actually invested time in developing Simon and his POV and giving him an actual personality and shit, that wasn’t half bad. So if Simon was written like that in the comics and their relationship progressed in similar ways, I could feasibly be on board with them.

But it won’t, so I’m not. Meh. Anyway.

I actually really REALLY like both Shiro AND Neal, with the caveat that I hate Neal’s stupid offensive-ass codename, I know Claremont only named him Thunderbird because he introduced him in an anniversary issue that was supposed to be a call-back to the original Giant Size lineup, and he needed a stand-in for John Proudstar, but like....wtf Claremont, just use your brain and save Neal to introduce a whole issue later and stick Jamie in John’s place the way everyone else does. He literally went by Thunderbird in the comics already in his Hellion days, which YOU wrote, so why the fuck did you feel the need to be stupidly offensive and act like Native American people and traditions are interchangeable with those of a guy from India? Ugh he’s so....gah.

Anyway. So I actually like both Shiro and Neal, though pretty much only when people other than Claremont are writing them, lololol. Which is admittedly...rare. Because of all his pet characters, they’re both at the top of the list of ones nobody else has any interest in touching. Bizarrely, my favorite run involving Shiro was when he was randomly shoe-horned into that Alpha Flight relaunch in the late 90s, that only lasted a couple years? Dunno if you know what I’m talking about, the team with Radius, Flex, Murmur, Heather as Vindicator and Mac was a robot or some weird shit.

I have no real thoughts on either of them with Bobby though, for a fire and ice pairing. Tbh I can’t really see Bobby/Shiro like, at ALL lmfao. For one, Shiro’s always felt written as though he’s a good ten years older than Bobby at least. Like they’re not really compatible dialogue-wise lol. And he’s pretty much never had any patience for Bobby in the comics, which has a lot to do with most of their interactions being written by Claremont himself, and Claremont infamously haaaaaaates Bobby’s character and trashes him any chance he gets, aka the few times editorial makes him actually use Bobby in a script. But I also think even under other writers, like....Shiro honestly is not the type to have any patience for Bobby’s antics or brand of humor, like.....he’s like JP but without the superficial crush JP used in canon to view Bobby’s idiosyncrasies as endearing instead of migraine inducing. I don’t think any readers would buy someone of JP or Shiro’s personality-type crushing on Bobby twice, lololol.

I DO however kinda like the idea of Neal/Bobby? If someone ever actually brought Neal back and gave him a new codename and stuck him on a team with Bobby? They’ve also barely interacted in canon, and the only time I can think of, Neal was super rude and dismissive of Bobby, because like, Claremont was writing it of course, so it made total sense for him to have the dude who’s literally been an X-Man for two issues talk down to the X-Man of several decades like the latter had no clue what he was doing, lol. Oops, still slightly salty there. 

But honestly, I doubt anyone who didn’t have hyperfixation fueled grudges on a fictional fave’s behalf would ever even remember that one canon interaction, and tbh Neal’s pretty much a blank slate character wise. His only defining traits from what little he’s been used are that he’s fairly young, in his early to mid-twenties, from a wealthy family, a little full of himself but in a ‘really wants to impress people and prove himself’ kinda way instead of an overly entitled ‘i genuinely believe I am superior to all you buffoons’ kinda way. And he was always endearingly enthusiastic and eager about new stuff he encountered from being with the X-Men.

(He was also randomly obsessed with Psylocke, but I truly think Claremont was like, well I’m just gonna write him like I would Warren Worthington because why not. So yeah, obvsly he’s super obsessed with Betsy. Duh.)

Anyway - I would like someone to do something interesting with Neal, and I think his and Bobby’s chemistry has a lot of potential and they could bounce off each other well. 

Also, I like Rahul, but I was randomly fancasting some of the more obscure X-Men awhile back for Reasons (I forget what they were tbh, but I’m sure I had them. I usually do). I came across this Indian actor named Karan Tacker and was like ohhhhhhh he totally looks like he could be Neal Shaara.

I mean, I’ve literally never seen him act, so who knows what his acting is like, but since we’ve established Neal’s character is essentially whatever the person to actually use him next wants it to be, I don’t think that’s a big deal lol.

So this is totally superficially based casting, like I think this guy looks and ‘feels’ the way Neal’s typically been drawn and the kinda vibe he gives off.

Also, incidentally, having absolutely nothing to do with anything, let alone my selection process, by pure coincidence the dude just so happens to have abs for daaaaaaays.

But I mean. Like I said, that is neither here nor there. Obviously.

Of no relevance whatsoever. I didn’t even notice, tbh. Don’t even know who hijacked my body and ghost wrote these last few sentences, quick, call an exorcist.

....oh noes, is this one of the consequences of being an ‘anti’? IS THIS MY COMEUPPANCE? *flees*

[belovedrival]

This week has kinda sucked

...but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

Work has been crazy, people hate each other more with every passing moment over political shit or cultural shit (here’s looking at yooouuuu Game of Thrones), and the weather switched from cold and wet early spring-ish to hello! Summer overnight.

THREE bridges into St. Louis were closed yesterday due to construction and an accident. It took over an hour to go nine miles.

I was almost in an accident. It shook me up, bad.

Covering for someone at work has been a okay-at-first-but-holy-cats-now-all-hell-has-broken-loose kind of thing.

I’m tired.

I was crazy stressed this afternoon and then got on the bus and did NOT relax because I read precisely the wrong Tumblr post at precisely the wrong time, and sort of lost my shit for about half an hour.

Last night at my writer’s group a wise friend said (regarding the breakdown of our national political discourse), “It’s hard to judge someone when they’re sitting across from you at the table.” I immediately wanted to frame that sentiment and apply it to my social media behavior.

Yeahhhh... I already screwed that up. 😑

It’s easy for me to be angry. It’s easy to read something and take it the wrong way, rather than trying to put the best construction on someone else’s words.

I fail at that. I fail a lot, and I fail hard.

Did I mention that Crazypants Family is legitimately suing Mister’s school?

Yeah, that’s happening too.

So this week hasn’t been great.

But there are bright spots.

This evening we drank after work and went to dinner at a local bar (one of the inspirations for the bar called Pedro’s in my Chelsie fic Managing Love). I watched a little Cardinals baseball, and felt better. ⚾️

My bestie high school friend and I texted back and forth. She laughed at me when I said I was drunk. (I was then, I’m not now.)

And then we got home and my dear friend K called. She, her husband J and their daughters will visit us on Memorial Day weekend. Mister and I are having another couple we know come over for a game day that Saturday, so more! People! To! Play! 😄

It’s been a looooooong time since we’ve seen them. I’ve missed them more than I realized. They’ve been way better friends than I deserved.

Other bright spots this week:

I ran into an old friend from the law firm where I used to work (the inspiration behind ML). She and I talked in front of Walgreens for twenty minutes on Tuesday.

L told me that the office manager at the firm had been fired the previous month.

It. was. about. fucking. time. !!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🍾🎉

The woman always had perrrrrrrfect hair, like she spent hours on it, and she’d regularly come into the office late. Like, ten o’clock. Or later. And unlike most other office managers, she didn’t have another significant job. She wasn’t a secretary or paralegal, etc. We used to wonder what in the hell she actually did. Meanwhile the rest of the staff worked like dogs. The firm should’ve gotten rid of her years ago.

(Obviously in ML, I wrote Elsie Hughes as the kind of office manager anyone would want to have, not the snooty-too-good-for-you one I dealt with for a decade.)

Other than gossip, it was good to see L. She’s one of those tell it like it is folks, and hasn’t changed much in fifteen years.

Good God, time flies.

Another bright spot:

Writing. Oh goodness, writing. First, actually posting a new update felt SO GOOD - even if it tore everyone to shreds, including me. It always gives me a lift to continue the story and to actually see what people think of it.

I did go to my real life writer’s group meeting on Wednesday. The thing I’ve been bringing there continues to get enthusiasm, and I’m always blown away by the talent other people have, too. It makes me step up my game.

And last but not least, solid travel plans were made to see family later this year. Mister is such a blessing to me - I was well on my way to getting drunk at six o’clock this evening, and told him that I was grateful he understood why I had to go see family - “some of whom are blood, and others who aren’t.”

He replied in his usual way, “You gotta go see your people, I know.”

I love that man.

Maybe this week didn’t suck so much after all.