#but why must my body only remain in a state of “fed” for like 1–2 hours

[justagingerwithredhair]

The Sisyphean nature of hunger is killing me. I just ate a few hours ago, and my body is telling me we're hungry again? Girl, we have done jackshit and fuckall between now and our last meal. What are you doing that requires so much sustenance? Is there a way to get like... an energy receipt from my flesh vessel? What is taking all my damn energy?

[seventhstrife]

SubScorp Week 2021 Day 3: AU Part 2

I hate that I have no self-control and have to make multiple posts for this lolololol

On AO3.

Part 1

When Hanzo woke, he knew immediately that he was not alone.

His eyes snapped open and he lurched upright, disoriented and tense.

His surroundings were unfamiliar, a fact that filled him with certain dread. His last memory was of trying to leave the bed of snow he'd been pushed into, how the dragon had only allowed him to stand so that it could nestle him into its side and curl up as if for a long rest. He remembered the deep, content cadence of its sigh as it settled with its huge head on Hanzo's lap.

As cold as it was, smothered in the dragon's hold, he'd been oddly...warm. And while Hanzo was no one's pet or prisoner, he was not so foolish as to disturb such a fearsome creature when its mood was in such a mercurial state, weakened and tired as it was. He'd resigned himself to being a dragon's pillow and had fallen asleep right there, hopeful that he could slip away in the small hours of the morning.

But waking up in an entirely new place had not been part of the plan. He barely took in the dark, polished stone of the room he was in or the thick furs that covered him across the lavish four-poster bed.

His surroundings were terrible for their strangeness, but what was worse was the man seated on the bed beside him, legs crossed, watching him. It was hard to see in the scant light that poured through the window as the sun just barely began to rise, but he thought he could just detect a small smile on those bearded lips.

"Good morning," the man greeted in a low, pleasant tone.

Hanzo went rigid. His hand snapped down to his side, but his weapons were gone—of course.

He risked exposing himself, but allowing capture was worse.

He summoned his flames, of a mind to send the man across the room with a ball of fire before he could so much as twitch—but the moment his light banished the shadows from the man's face, Hanzo stilled.

...It was his eyes. Pale white, nearly translucent, but in the flickering pulse of Hanzo's flames, they shined with a breathtaking iridescence that shifted with countless colors.

Pale-skinned and broad-shouldered, muscular arms bared by his dark robes, thick black hair pushed back from his face and beard trimmed short—he truly was a stranger to Hanzo in every sense of the word.

But, that scar. Those eyes. Hanzo knew those eyes.

The man's smile grew slightly, as if he knew exactly what Hanzo was thinking, and he threaded his fingers together, planted his elbows on his spread knees and perched his chin atop his hands, as if to better study Hanzo.

"Do you recognize me, pyromancer?"

Hanzo pursed his lips, wary. But even when he glared harder, tried to see some sort of flaw or deception, his eyes continued to scream a single truth.

But he did not have to admit it.

"I—I am clearly unwell," Hanzo said instead.

Without taking his eyes off of the man, he backed up until he was at the edge of the bed and quickly stood, head darting around as he tried to get his bearings, find the door. He looked back to the stranger and curled his fingers into a fist, flames threatening on the horizon.

"Why have you brought me here?"

"As impressive as your fire magic is," the man answered, "You would have succumbed to the cold. I thought it best to bring you to my home."

His home? Just judging from the simple, yet refined furnishings and ornate, carved walls, Hanzo assumed he was in some sort of palace.

His brow furrowed. This was making less and less sense. Some traveling lord had stumbled upon Hanzo and had simply—taken him in? In what appeared to be his own chambers?

No nobleman was that kind or giving. Hanzo knew.

Hanzo's skin itched with the desire to flee. Unfamiliar surroundings, unfamiliar company—he did not have any wish to linger here, at the mercy of this strange man and his stranger (familiar) eyes.

"Whatever you intended by bringing me here, it does not matter." Hanzo's face hardened. "You will not keep me here."

"No," the man agreed softly, making Hanzo pause. He was still smiling. "I imagine you do not succumb to anyone's will but your own."

The words caused a flicker of uncertainty to pass through him, though he did not allow it to show on his face. Why was nothing about this man proceeding as he expected? If Hanzo woke up, kidnapped to some strange, impossible palace in a snow-plagued, forsaken mountain, he should be caged. His captor should be talking to him through the bars of a prison, in his personal dungeon, not casually and comfortably sitting on his bed while Hanzo threatened to burn him.

...Somehow, some way, this is a trick. It must be.

It felt safer not to speak, so Hanzo did not. His eyes darted to the door, waiting across the room and, unfortunately, behind the man.

"Your weapons are there," the man said, gesturing with a wide sweep of his arm behind Hanzo, and indeed, when he warily glanced over his shoulder, he saw the overlooked table tucked into the corner of the room, where his blades had been laid neatly and carefully across a length of soft cloth. "Forgive me for taking the liberty, but I thought it best to divest you of them so you could rest more comfortably."

Hanzo glared at the man for a long moment. He only slept comfortably when he was armed these days.

Still, Hanzo accepted the invitation to take his things and he did so in quick, efficient movements, keeping the stranger in his line of sight at all times—not that it mattered, as the man did not so much as a twitch from the moment he'd awoken. His eyes tracked Hanzo without a blink and it was perhaps that which kept Hanzo on his guard. His utter stillness, the watching—Hanzo was rested, armed, and could think of a dozen ways to incapacitate this man in a few seconds, yet he felt overwhelmingly like an unwitting creature, soft and vulnerable, ignorant of the hunter in his midst, readying for the pounce.

Hanzo glanced at the door, had no more than thought of taking his first step towards the exit when the man spoke once more.

"Of course, you may leave whenever you wish," he said genially. "But you did not answer my question, pyromancer."

Hanzo's lips thinned. Uncertainty and unease blossomed in his chest.

"...no, I did not. I will not."

The stranger's head tilted and an expression of open amusement alighted on his face.

"Is it so terrible to accept?"

"It is impossible," Hanzo stressed, eyes narrowing. But, despite himself, his determination to fight faltered. He could not deny a certain curiosity, for all that he did not believe in magic such as this.

The man shrugged, affable as ever. It made Hanzo glare at him even more fiercely. It was irksome, how agreeable he was being...

Finally, the man moved, gave his back to Hanzo as he swung his legs off the bed and rose. Hanzo tensed when the man faced him and approached.

"That is far enough," Hanzo said in warning, raising two burning fists when the man was just outside of arm's reach.

"I have sheltered you and returned your weapons," the man pointed out. "Can you not accept I mean you no harm?"

"That remains to be seen," Hanzo replied, stiff.

Still, the man only seemed amused. He placed a palm on his breast, directly over his heart, and bowed, deeply.

"Then allow me to introduce myself. I am Kuai Liang."

A strange name for a strange man. It was oddly fitting.

Kuai Liang rose and those pale eyes of his fixed on Hanzo with the same intensity that had yet to lessen since Hanzo had first met them.

"May I know your name, pyromancer?"

Hanzo almost refused him, simply on principle. But...Kuai Liang had sheltered him in his home, had given him back his weapons, and he had shown no sign of wishing harm upon him.

It went against every instinct within him, but slowly, warily, Hanzo lowered his arms as the flames in his hands gutted, leaving behind smooth, unblemished skin.

"...Hanzo. Hanzo Hisashi."

Kuai Liang's eyes brightened with pleasure.

"Hanzo Hisashi," he repeated. The way he seemed to savor it—Hanzo could feel his hackles rising once more. "It is a pleasure to meet you." Kuai Liang stepped to the side, gestured with an open palm to the door. "Allow me to escort you," he said. "I'm afraid you will be easily lost without a guide."

Hearing that this building was that great a size did nothing to ease Hanzo's unease, but he supposed he had no choice.

"Very well."

Kuai Liang smiled.

Hanzo had hoped for a quick, silent walk, and to be able to put this entire strange encounter from his mind forever. Instead, when they'd only just left Kuai Liang's chambers, his stomach gave a loud, insistent cry.

Hanzo kept his gaze firmly on the ground, mortified as Kaui Liang turned to him in a sharp, surprised movement.

After a slight pause, Kuai Liang offered, "I have food if you wish—"

"No." Hanzo took a deep breath, tried to will back the rise of heat he could feel on his face. It was more important to leave this place. He could hunt for something once he was gone. "I am fine."

And, of course, his body chose that moment to betray him once more with another growl, sudden and painful enough he could not check the urge to hold his aching stomach. He could not remember the last time he had a decent, filling meal...

"I'm afraid I must insist," Kuai Liang said in a tone that brooked no argument. "I would be a poor host if I did not see you fed and prepped for your long journey down the mountain.”

Hanzo attempted to protest, but it was a losing battle and he was forced to follow after Kuai Liang, lest he truly be lost in his vast palace.

It was harder to remember the urgent need to be gone from this place when the smell of cooked meat grew stronger the further they went, and then impossible when Kuai Liang opened the door to a small cooking room, where a large flank of meat was still roasting over an open fire against the far wall.

The smell was heavenly and Hanzo was briefly hypnotized by the sight of hot, sizzling fat dripping from the meat, how it fell into the fire with a soft hiss and caused new bursts of the incredible aroma to permeate the room.

Perhaps...there was no harm in eating—so that he would not collapse on his hike, of course. It was only sensible to accept a meal when it was offered freely.

He tried not to seem too eager when he sat at the small wooden table Kuai Liang beckoned him to, but when Kuai Liang carved a generous portion of meat onto a large platter and served it to him, his smile twitched, threatening to grow wider at whatever expression Hanzo had.

It was slightly embarrassing, being caught so obviously, but Hanzo did not care the moment the meat first touched his tongue. Hot, tender venison, succulent and delicious. If he were a weaker man, he might weep.

For a while, there was only silence as he ate. It was not until he'd partially satiated his aching stomach that he realized Kuai Liang had not served himself.

He glanced up, unnerved to find Kuai Liang watching him, chin propped in one hand, a slight smile still lingering on his lips.

He appeared so...satisfied, by the sight of Hanzo eating. It made Hanzo freeze.

He glared.

"...Stop watching me," Hanzo demanded.

Kuai Liang's smile widened, but he acquiesced, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. He tilted his head back against the back of his chair and closed his eyes, looked for all the world as if he were simply meditating.

The way he kept instantly accomodating Hanzo—it was very annoying.

Hanzo resumed eating but did not stop glaring at Kuai Liang, trying—in vain—to puzzle him out. If Kuai Liang was aware of his staring, he did not seem bothered by it in the least.

This vast palace, Kuai Liang's own status, seemingly that of a man of wealth and power—he did not make sense. In Hanzo's travels, he had never heard of such a person having domain over this corner of the land, and yet here he was.

Who are you, truly?

His curiosity could not be denied, no matter how much he tried to quell it.

"Where are the people?" Hanzo finally asked.

It was perhaps not his most pressing question, but it was the one that was safer to ask. Down the labyrinthine halls to this modest cook's area, Hanzo had not seen nor heard so much as a whisper of another soul. Even here, in what was clearly a servant's domain, there was no one else to be found. Yet, a palace so large would need a large staff to maintain it.

Kuai Liang's eyes opened. "There are none."

Hanzo frowned, chews slowing, but Kuai Liang did not take back his words, just watched Hanzo back.

"...You live here by yourself?"

Kuai Liang inclined his head.

"How is that possible?"

Finally, Kuai Liang glanced away from him. His eyes dropped and his entire demeanor was suddenly—dampened, somehow. A subtle sort of sadness crept over Kuai Liang and it made Hanzo forget all about the sharp hunger pains that had burrowed into the pit of his stomach.

"Like you, I am the last of my kind."

...Oh. It was no secret that Hanzo's people were long gone—hunted to the brink of extinction for nothing more than sport. Mercenaries and outlaws, lowlifes and lords alike had participated in the massacre, eager to boast their fighting skills and claim the prestige of slaying an exotic, powerful pyromancer. If any of Hanzo's people still walked the lands, Hanzo had not met them. He hoped he never would. They were safer—he was safer, alone.

A life of constant movement, never settling anywhere, never staying in one town long enough for anyone to learn his name—it was a life he'd resigned himself to, one he thought, perhaps, suited him, even, but there were times when he felt the aching bite of loneliness. Of a muted, mourning despair that he would pass from this world without a single soul to notice his absence.

It was not a life he would wish on anyone.

"I...I am sorry," Hanzo finally said. At least he traveled, could outrun his feelings when they threatened to unmake him completely. To walk the same empty halls, day after day, ceaselessly reminded of a time they were full of life—he shied from even imagining it.

Kuai Liang blinked and a rueful smile replaced the understated, melancholic expression. Somehow, the smile made Hanzo's chest ache more.

"It was a long time ago," Kuai Liang dismissed.

Hanzo was not placated. He looked straight into Kuai Liang's eyes.

"But it is still difficult," he observed quietly, and Kuai Liang's smile, absurdly, stretched just a little bigger.

"You see right through me."

He stood, took Hanzo's demolished plate and returned to the roasting spit.

"No man is a fortress, and I am afraid I am no exception to this rule."

His voice was soft and steady as he refilled Hanzo's plate with another generous portion, but even when he set the dish before him, Hanzo could not move his eyes from Kuai Liang, aware of how something more lingered in the air, the same something that had remained unspoken since he'd awoken.

Kuai Liang did not return to his seat. He stood, looking down at Hanzo, and the impression that his next words would be important grew.

"I rarely leave my home. I hunt what I need and want for little else. But I have grown weary of solitude. And, if you'll forgive my forwardness," and here Kuai Liang broke eye contact, straightened, and crossed his arms behind his back. He took a moment, and Hanzo found himself all but holding his breath.

"I came down from the mountain in search of a mate." Kuai Liang's pale eyes met his, and the earlier look of determination intensified. "And I have found one. You."

A ringing silence stretched.

Hanzo's mouth opened, closed. Opened again. But there were no words. He could not think of a single thing he could say to such a proclamation.

His face felt hot.

Kuai Liang's head tilted. "Have I broken you?" he asked, amused.

His tone finally snapped Hanzo out of his shocked stupor and he stood, his chair scraping loudly against the wood floor.

"I—You—NO."

"We are well-suited for one another," Kuai Liang argued.

"You know nothing about me and—" Abruptly, Hanzo realized how completely absurd this conversation was. "Absolutely not."

"I know that you are brave, honorable, and compassionate." When Hanzo opened his mouth to protest, Kuai Liang stepped closer, just past the bounds of propriety, but Hanzo could not muster the will to burn him. "It would have been easier to leave me to die, but you intervened on my behalf, and even tended to my wounds. What more proof do I need of your worthiness?"

Hanzo stared at Kuai Liang, stricken. He had been ignoring the obvious, glaring fact that had been shouting at him since he'd first met Kuai Liang's eyes, but now that truth refused to be ignored.

His brow furrowed and he stared into Kuai Liang's eyes, wished he could doubt his own, but could not.

"You...you really are the dragon from before..." It was impossible, ridiculous—but the evidence was too plain to ignore.

Kuai Liang smiled. "I knew you were the one the moment we looked at one another." Another step closer, where their chests nearly touched, and Hanzo told himself he would push Kuai Liang away and run—in just a moment. "My ice, it can be unpleasant for a normal human. And in moments of passion, even harmful."

Kuai Liang raised his hand, slowly, tentatively, and though a part of Hanzo's mind, defensive and wary, screamed that he use his flames, now, he did not want to harm Kuai Liang.

The gentle, cool touch of Kuai Liang's fingers brushed across the stubble on his cheek, whisper-soft.

"But with your abilities, you could withstand me." Kuai Liang's eyes fell, hooded and dark with desire. His gaze seemed to pierce straight through. "Yes, you could withstand me well. You are very strong."

"We are complete opposites," Hanzo argued, because clearly he was the only one who had not taken leave of his senses.

"Opposites, yes," Kuai Liang agreed. "But also equals. Compliments. I would have it no other way."

"Well, I will not have you," Hanzo claimed hotly, and his eyes narrowed in a fierce glare.

Far from seeming dismayed by his refusal, Kuai Liang only watched Hanzo as if he were an intriguing puzzle.

"You find me unsuitable in some way?" he asked. "Or, perhaps, you bear the claim of another?"

"I—" It would have been better, to lie, but that was one skill Hanzo had never possessed. "That is not—"

Triumph surged to Kuai Liang's gaze. "If I must prove myself, you need only say so. I can offer you much."

Hanzo finally pushed away Kuai Liang's touch with a sweep of his arm and took a few steps back. He would not hear any more.

"I do not want anything from you. I do not belong here, with you, in—that way. Whatever you believe you see in me, you are mistaken."

"I see only that which you have shown me." Kuai Liang watched him steadily, so sure. "You could have a home here. You would no longer have to hide who you truly are, or be forced to run any longer. You could be free."

Hanzo sucked in a sharp breath, shook his head harshly in the next instant. "You—you can not promise that."

"I can," Kuai Liang simply said.

He pushed Hanzo's chair out of his way, closed the distance between them once more. Hanzo flinched away the first time Kuai Liang reached for him, but Kuai Liang only paused, waited patiently, before resuming the movement. And the look in his eyes, gentle yet firm, kept Hanzo still when he took Hanzo's hand.

Kuai Liang raised Hanzo's hand, placed his palm atop it so he cradled him in his grip like something precious. Hanzo could not recall ever being touched in such a way. He wanted to hate it, but he did not.

"A few days," Kuai Liang proposed, voice a low, beseeching murmur. "Stay with me here, for just a few days. Let me show you what it could be like to share a life together. If you still wish to leave after that, I will respect your wishes. I will take you down the mountain myself."

An automatic denial sprung to his lips, but one look at Kuai Liang's eyes—pleading, soft, and filled with lonely, naked longing—killed the words before he could draw breath.

Hanzo looked away, to the strong, slightly cool and affectionate clasp of Kuai's hands around his. The weariness he always battled in his long journey, heart-sick from constant flight and avoidance, bloomed to an almost unbearable degree, threatened to swallow him completely.

"...A few days?" Hanzo eventually asked, voice unsure and wary.

Kuai Liang squeezed his hand and hope brightened his gaze.

"That is all I ask."

If Hanzo had not been wavering before, that expression would have unmade him; never, had he been beneath the force of such great, bare hope. To say anything else would be cruel.

"...Very well." He darted a quick look at Kuai Liang, glanced away immediately at the sight of his warm, wide smile. "Do not make me regret this," Hanzo warned.

Kuai Liang raised his arm, only smirked when Hanzo's eyes went wide, and placed a gentle, unbearably lingering kiss on the back of his fingers.

"I would not dream of it, Hanzo Hisashi."

[billyhardgrove]

all i want for christmas is booze (b.h)

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS BOOZE

Pairing: Billy& Reader Word Count: 2.9k approx. Warning: Swearing

Summary: You��re about to head over to your parents for Christmas until you find the one guy that you despise sitting on a bench by himself.

PART 2 || (part 1 here)

-

“Billy?” You cooed, timid and hesitant as to what you were doing.

For before you was someone you detested, someone you couldn’t stand, but he seemed so sad, so isolated, it almost hurt you to see him like this, to see him the way you never expected. Billy was always so rowdy and cocky, his obnoxious personality and non-filtered words giving you nothing but feelings of annoyance and irritation.

But now, well, he was the complete opposite. And having grown used to the loud outgoing Billy, this quiet and secluded one concerned you and perhaps unnerved you a little. You wanted to know the reasoning for his given state, and part of you hoped there would maybe be a way for you to change it. Because God knows, for different reasons, you hated this Billy more than you hated the cocky one.

At your voice, the boy’s head shot up to look at you, suddenly aware of his surroundings and of the girl he lived next door to. Giving your sister and her boyfriend an apologetic look, you knew you couldn’t just leave Billy like this without knowing why.

“Y/N!” Billy slurred slightly, giving you a crooked smile and a small wave with the bottle of Jack in his hand. He glanced at you before looking at your outfit. You were dressed nicer than usual – your normal attire that Billy would see you in tended to be sweats and a hoodie – and Billy noticed this as you took a careful step towards him. Your hair was in a style other than a three-day-old bun and your face held a light layer of makeup that accentuated your gorgeous features. “You look amazing.” Billy breathed absentmindedly as he continued to stare at you, and you couldn’t fight the blush that lit your cheeks flattered at his unexpected compliment. But realising his amateur mistake given the relationship the pair of you had, Billy had to ruin it. “For once.” He added, and your small smile that had begun to play on your lips dropped a little as you realised he was still the rude Billy you had grown accustomed to.

Sure he may be acting all sorry for himself, but that didn’t mean he had completely changed his wicked personality.

You were about to roll your eyes at his snarky comment, tempted to just leave him where he was and not let him ruin your favourite holiday. But then another part of you decided to take a different approach to how you interacted with the boy today, just to see what would happen.

“What are you doing out here alone?” You questioned with concern, quirking an eyebrow as you took another step towards him.

Billy kept his gaze on you, licking his lips before bringing his toxic cigarette back to his chapped chattering mouth. Exhaling the smoke through his nose and mouth simultaneously, he shrugged his shoulders.

“Pre-drinks.” He smirked, lifting up the bottle of whiskey in his hand to bring attention to the beverage. Then, he lifted the bag-covered bottle to his lips and took a large swig of the fiery temptation, not even flinching as he had grown used to the scorching sensation raining down his throat.

You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes once more as Billy made sure to be difficult with you just like he always was. But you took in a breath before, asking calmly, politely.

“Pre-drinks for what?”

“Pre-drinks for what I always do on Christmas, Princess.” Billy sneered, his sly use of the pet name sending heated tingles down your spine with the intended hurt he spoke with.

“Billy.” You sighed, getting rather fed up with this little game he was playing with you. But you noticed the way his eyes flickered to the couple standing a short distance behind you, and you thought maybe they were the reason he was being difficult.

So, turning to your sister and her boyfriend, you spoke quietly to them. “Would you guys mind if I met you at the car?” You asked, giving them a look that told them to agree without question. And wordlessly the two nod before walking, arm in arm, continuing in the direction the three of you were initially walking towards.

Turning back to face Billy, you gestured to the seat beside him, silently asking permission to sit there and he merely shrugged his broad shoulders as if to say ‘be my guest’, before once more bringing the bottle of alcohol back to meet his lips.

“Aren’t you going to be late for your family dinner, Princess?” Billy continued to use the pet name with mockery, as he looked at you through the corners of his eyes once you had sat upon the frosty bench. His lips held the sly nasty smirk they always did, radiating confidence and cockiness.

Rolling your eyes at his desire to be annoying, you shot back. “I could ask you the same thing.” And instantly Billy’s malicious smirk dropped as his head turned round to glare at you.

You had unknowingly struck a nerve in him, that was clear. But he only remained quiet, his icy stare shooting to the side of your face as you avoided looking at him.

And the pair of you sat in silence for a short while, an obvious tension laced between the two but no one making a move to address it. You knew it was none of your business and if Billy didn’t want to tell you the reason for his odd behaviour then that was ok. So instead, to somewhat shift the uncomfortable atmosphere that blanketed you, you made a bold move and reached for the bottle of Jack that was now stashed between Billy’s calves.

Billy watched your motives but made no move to snatch the bottle back as you brought the drink to your own lips. Allowing a small sip of the scorching liquid to slink down into your stomach you couldn’t help but wince, not used to such a strong and overpowering drink.

Turning to hand the bottle back, your eyes met Billy’s as you held the drink before him. And being closer to him you swore you saw something glassed over them, something that appeared a lot like betrayal or hurt. Though before you could be sure his gaze was pulled away from you as his hands snatched a hold of the bottle you offered.

Swinging back the bottle, Billy took another two large gulps before placing it back between his feet. His eyebrows were furrowed in thought, or maybe anger, and his elbows rested on his knees as his head hung low.

You were desperate to know what was up with him, clearly it being something of significance for Billy to be feeling such distress. For as long as you had known him, you had never seen him show even a slight resemblance of this character and perhaps that was what most confused you. The idea that maybe it was because he only seemed to be this way now, as in at Christmas time. It must have something to do with that, right?

Pulling you from your curious thoughts, Billy’s repeatedly chattering teeth caught your attention and you noticed how he pulled his jacket tighter to his body. He was freezing. And you mentally shook your head at the little common sense he seemed to have. If he was thinking of sitting outside in the numb-cold with nothing but a jumper and jacket without getting cold then he obviously had another thing coming.

So, opening the gift bag that you had left on the ground beside you, you began to search through it, looking for something in particular. Your actions caught Billy’s attention as he frowned at your abrupt need to hoke in one of the bags you brought with you.

Finally, you pulled out one of the messily wrapped presents, a content smile on your face that you eventually found it, before you pulled at the paper, tearing it off the hidden item. Billy couldn’t see what you were doing, but then you turned back around to him, a thick, fluffy blanket folded in your hands. Unravelling it from its neat presentation, you handed Billy the blanket but he only stared at it with a look of utter confusion, as though it was an outrageous gesture for you to do.

So rolling your eyes, you stood from where you sat before draping the blanket over Billy yourself. And Billy only stared up at you as you did this, a look of complete bafflement and innocence of surprise. You merely gave the boy a warm smile.

“Quit looking at me like that,” you whined, growing rather nervous under his constant stare. “You were shivering, Billy. I don’t know what you were thinking coming out here in only a jacket.” You lightly scolded him, giving him another gentle smile.

And finally Billy seemed to have snapped out of his mesmerizing state, tugging the blanket closer around himself as he gave you a very – very - small grateful grin.

“Uh… thanks, I guess.” Billy mumbled, somewhat sheepish. He was lost more than anything, confused as to the way you were treating him all of a sudden. It was so out of character for you, being nice. And he wondered why you were acting like this all of a sudden, the idea that you were doing it merely to be a kind person seeming absolutely ridiculous.

He hated you. You hated him. You weren’t supposed to be nice to him. It made him uncomfortable if he was honest, yet also incredibly appreciative.

“What are you going to do about the present though?” Billy questioned, still shocked at your selfless gesture as to sacrifice one of the presents you had bought for someone, to instead give to him.

“I’ll give it to my cousin in the gift bag and say I ran out of wrapping paper.” You shrugged as though it wasn’t a big deal. And Billy nodded his head.

Another silence fell over the two of you, but instead it being a more comfortable and less awkward one. This almost civil conversation and gesture seeming to settle the tension that had previously built up. But you couldn’t deny you were still thinking over the cause of the tension – the way he reacted to your innocent question.

Given the place the two of you were at, the logical part of your mind decided to blurt out the question you were desperate to know, breaking through the silence.

“Billy, why are you alone on Christmas?” Your question grew quiet towards the end as you trailed off noticing how Billy seemed to close his eyes in frustration at your inevitable words. “Aren’t you wanting to be with your family?”

God, why couldn’t you ever keep your damn mouth shut?

“It’s none of your damn business why, Y/N.” Billy suddenly growled, his voice growing low, dangerous and filled with venom. As his gaze met yours, you felt your muscles draw paralysed while your breath hitched at the way his eyes were so dark and drenched with a storm of warning. Even through the bloodshot drunken rims, you could see the intimidation they held. “Not everyone has a perfect family like yours; not everyone in a family loves each other.”

Your eyes widened a little at his words, not expecting him to imply the reason. The way he said them, filled with angry upset, you swore you felt a lump in your own throw grow at the pain Billy seemed to withhold.

His home life wasn’t a very inviting environment to want to go to over the holidays. And so Billy didn’t. Every year Neil seemed to force it more and more and the fakeness became unbearable. Since moving out and leaving Hawkins, Billy hadn’t been back, and that was nearly two years ago now, so there was no chance of him going there for the holidays either. Instead, Christmas for Billy was a great excuse for him to go out and get drunk while looking for a random girl to fuck; he’d made a somewhat tradition out of it for the past couple of years, or at least he liked to think so.

So maybe there was too deep a meaning in Billy’s words to understand, but you could get the idea for now. You realised it was a difficult subject for him and so you let it be.

Yet his words still echoed clear in your ears; they were said with malevolence, with the aim to hurt you and tear you down, that was clear through his malignant tone. And maybe it did hurt you a little at the way he seemed to hint that you were apparently better than everyone. You weren’t, you knew that. But the idea that he thought that that was the way you presented yourself hurt you.

Billy noticed the offended expression on your face as you stared at the ground in upset. He knew he had ruined whatever civilisation there was between the two of you just there, and he expected you to get up from where you sat, wordless and saddened.

So you did.

Straightening your back, you nodded your head in acceptance of how he was reacting. “Ok,” you spoke quietly. “I understand.”

Standing up from your place on the bench, you bent down to pick the gift bag of presents up from the ground before turning round to face Billy one last time. Tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, you stretched your hand out in an offer as Billy gave you a strange look.

“C’mon, you’re coming with me.” You smiled warmly at Billy, tilting your head in the direction of where your sister and her boyfriend had left a few minutes prior.

“Huh?” He frowned, confused and lost at what you meant. He had heard what you said, but he didn’t trust what you were saying. The soft words he could take, the selfless gestures he could handle, but doing what you were suggesting? Billy had to draw the line.

“You’re not going to spend this Christmas alone, Billy. You’re going to share it with me.” You grinned up at him, his eyes widening and eyebrows raising in realisation you meant what you were saying.

“W-what…” Billy was at a loss for words. This didn’t make any sense. Why would you suggest such a thing? And to him of all people. “I…” He cleared his throat, straightening himself up and suddenly getting his composure again. “I’d much rather go out and get laid.” Billy spoke, and you rolled your eyes at his pathetic excuse. The both of you knew that that wasn’t true, he was still putting on a front and trying to be difficult.

“So? Change it up a little this year.” You humoured him with his excuse, giving him an encouraging look, before saying more quietly. “C’mon, really. No one should be alone on Christmas. Not even you.” You added, just to add to the usual feisty attitude you always held towards him, to at least make it a little less weird of how kind you were acting towards him.

“I won’t be alone though-“ He tried again.

“Billy!” You groaned in defiance. Would he ever just quit it? “Seriously, this is a once in a lifetime offer from me. I’m not normally this nice to you so take advantage of it or I promise you’ll regret it.” You almost threatened him, but Billy’s eyebrows fell furrowed still.

“But that’s what’s weirding me out. Why are you doing this?” He suddenly asked. He just wanted a reason. Sure you’ve been saying that no one should be by themselves on Christmas, but this is Billy for heaven’s sake. Let’s be real, you despised him with everything you had and he made sure of it. So that’s why he really didn’t understand why you were doing what you were doing.

Letting out a sigh, you shrugged your shoulders at him. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.” You admitted. Chewing on your lip, you knew you had to give him some answer to convince him so maybe you told him the truth, or maybe you told him a lie, whatever it was, you prayed it would suffice.

“To not feel guilty, I suppose. I don’t want to have known that you were having the most miserable-sounding Christmas and then live with the fact that I did nothing to change it.” It sounded convincing, even to you and maybe it was partially honest, for it sounded like something you’d say to him. The only reason you were doing this was out of selfish benefit and to avoid the sure guilt that would shadow you if you did nothing.

“And if it’s weirding you out that much, then I promise that if you come with me then I’ll go right back to hating you tomorrow, ok? Just please, Billy,” You whined, pouting at him. “I’m beginning to look like Rudolph the red-nosed fucking reindeer standing here, so please just come with me.”

And finally – finally – you seemed to have convinced him. Although still reluctant, he flicked his now burnt out cigarette to the ground and threw the booze by his feet into the bin that sat next to him before finally stepping down from that damned bench. Stuffing his surely-blue hands into the pockets of his jacket, he gave you another small barely-there smile that you appreciated a lot.

No matter what front he held before him, you knew that he was grateful for your generous offer to bring him back to your Christmas with your family.

Maybe he’d be able to experience what a true Christmas day was supposed to be like.

-

Next part?

[fuwafuwamedb]

Dodging Death Pt 3 (Hakuno, Emiya, Caster Gilgamesh)

Previously: 1 2

____

She came and went.

She came and went from the house each day, making him spend hours alone. At first, he’d been fine with this situation. He could look around the building while she was away. Though the place was meager, it did hold many marvels and he was quite enjoying the toilet.

Better than that, the woman had a device she could harness the winds of storms with. They would blow fiercely at his fur, leaving him fluffed and purring by the time she was done.

Hakuno often left the TV on for him as well, finding him following her to the door.

“Don’t watch too much,” she’d tell him.

He would watch great odysseys play out before his eyes. He would watch humans showcase the great strength of this divine, boasting of their prowess and then facing great downfalls because of their own arrogance.

Great plays.

Yes, there were many marvels in this place, but he was getting bored.

Terribly bored.

He began to greatly dislike this body of his as the week turned into two. Two weeks turned into a very long and agonizing third week.

Now he wanted to go with her.

Where did she go almost every day? Who was she seeing when she was out there? Why did she partake in so much water when everyone knew that water was filled with dangerous toxins?

His magician needed to be answering so many questions, he thought as the rain began to fall and thunder began to boom in the distance. Those strange beasts that he’d encountered his first night in this place were roaming the roads. They growled passed, threatening anyone who came close.

Was Hakuno safe?

“Come on,” a voice declared, opening the door behind him. Gilgamesh turned his attention away from the window that he was perched near, noting the woman helping a figure into the building. “Come on, I’ll let you dry off and we’ll wash your clothes.”

The door shut, the figure moving to sit in Hakuno’s infamous study spot.

That was her throne.

What on earth did this fool think they were doing?

“I’ll grab a couple towels and start some hot water. Do you want instant coffee or tea?”

The white haired man yanked his shirt off, shaking his head. “Tea’s fine. We can call Cu Chulainn to bring me a change of clothes too.”

They could call that fool to come take this man from their sight immediately is what they could do.

A man was daring to unclothe himself in Hakuno’s home. He was daring to sit in her place at her living room area and he was daring to not introduce himself. The pure audacity of this man…

No, he did not like this one bit.

“G, give him some space,” Hakuno told him, plucking him up from his warpath.

“You have a cat?”

“Yeah, I got him a couple weeks back. I guess I’ve declared myself a cat lady.”

“I have little doubt that you’ll become a cat lady,” the man told her. “…He doesn’t seem to like me.”

The statement came as Gilgamesh growled at the man.

What they needed was that blue haired fool here. He’d only seen the man a couple times, but the fool was tall and he had muscle. What Hakuno needed right now was muscle. She needed someone here to beat this man from her home and to take her to safety. Either that, or to merely chuck her throne out now.

It was sullied.

Tainted.

Her space had been invaded and his poor Hakuno was now to deal with the outcome of that.

“I’ll put him in my room.”

Excuse me?

Sure enough, he found himself being set upon his woman’s bed. Hakuno was grabbing a few of her bathroom blankets before heading for the door. He pawed, he meowed. Anything and everything that he could do in this situation.

The two were talking the whole time.

He could hear them speaking.

“Hakuno…”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I do need to talk to you about something. Give me a little time to get some clothes back on…”

“I’ll be here. You can stay on my couch tonight if you want. I can call someone. Maybe Sakura or Rani? I know you’re fond of Sakura.”

“About that…”

No.

There would be no about that’s. He’d seen those eyes, watching his human. He’d seen the way that man had sucked in a breath when taking his shirt off. Whether he would ever admit it or not, he’d decided to pursue Hakuno. He was trying to appeal to Hakuno.

She was not his to appeal to!

He yelped as he tried pawing at the door again, feeling his nail hit something in the wood grain.

Immediately, he could hear someone hurrying to the door.

Hakuno peered in, finding him sprawled on the floor.

As degrading as it was, he was licking his paw, finding the ache something terrible.

“Are you alright, G?” Hakuno knelt down, going to hold him, but he couldn’t have that. Not when there was a monster in this house.

As her king, her guardian, her pillar of strength; as the one who would show her a true future, it was his duty to remove the cretin from her home before it was too late. The man would not be seducing his woman away. She was his magician. She’d chosen him.

So he hissed and spat at the man, finding the other sipping tea on her couch in nothing more than a bathroom fabric.

He snarled with all the depths of Kur in his voice.

Let it be known, in that moment, he was more fierce than any hell hound or beast that could have been created by the gods.

And the man chuckled.

Raising his hair to the very tips of its length, this man’s laugh went over like a bucket of ice water.

“Hakuno, he really does hate me.”

“Sorry about him,” Hakuno told the man.

DO NOT APOLOGIZE!

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him today. He’s always really well behaved around Cu Chulainn. Maybe you smell like Sakura’s perfume or something. Cats have a good sense of smell.”

THE HEATHEN WAS NAKED IN HER HOUSE!

“Maybe,” the man relented. “I moved so it’s not the spot I’m in.”

Hakuno didn’t let go of him. Holding him close, Hakuno stroked at his head as he continued to threaten this man within an inch of his life. Whenever the man would speak, he’d let his voice grow louder, spitting here and there and swiping his way.

His lions had done that to a few maidens.

Beasts were intuitive animals. They knew things that humans simply could not.

He prayed to every god and then some that Hakuno would realize that this man was no good. He remained careful, lest he hurt Hakuno unintentionally.

She was his.

His magician, his snuggle partner in bed, his TV companion, his studying partner; he’d seen many times when her fatigue would become too great and he’d intervene. He needed to, just to keep her safe from Ereshkigal.

His poor human.

“He’s really acting up,” Hakuno murmured, holding him close.

The white haired man nodded, moving to stand up as the strange clothing wash and dry machines chimed.

“Are you going to head home?”

“I think it’s clear I’m not wanted here.”

He wasn’t.

In fact, he’d been here long enough that he could smell him. The odor wasn’t… unpleasant, but it certainly was not his Hakuno’s.

His Hakuno.

Looking up at the woman holding him, he found himself hesitating as he found himself thinking of her in that manner. How long had he thought this way? What exactly…

But Hakuno leaned up and kissed the white haired man on the cheek after he got dressed. She smiled at him and Gilgamesh felt his stomach twist unpleasantly. Trapped in her arms, he could do no more than growl at the sight of the man blushing and Hakuno giving him a small smile.

She was not to glow at kissing a man like that.

She was not to give his smiles away to a man like that.

The fool, Cu, tried to warn me of this.

The insightful man must have known that this mongrel was coming close to Hakuno. He must always have sensed it and he had been powerless to be here; but he could not hold the man accountable for being proper about giving Hakuno her due space.

On the other hand, he was always here.

He was always here, and he was not going to lose Hakuno to some fool like this.

“Hakuno-“

He let out another snarl, trying his best to mimic his lions back home.

Those poor beasts. How many times had they growled and snarled at women unworthy of him? He would be doting upon them when he returned. This was too much for a beast to handle.

“I think you should get going,” Hakuno told him. “I’m sorry again about Rin splattering her drink on you when you were talking to Sakura.” 

“Let’s talk tomorrow,” the man told her, heading for his shoes.

You should pee in shoes, the fool from before had said.

How he wished he had been so forward-thinking on such matters. The fool managed to put on two unsullied shoes and walk right out that door, sporting the affection of his Hakuno upon his cheek. The man was heading out into the night, knowing he would be talking to his Hakuno when he was not present.

He looked up to find Hakuno sighing.

“You shouldn’t act up. Emiya is really a great guy.”

He was a fool and a mongrel. He was no doubt someone who mimicked others in order to show value in himself to others and would give her up if things got bad.

He wouldn’t though.

He…

Why am I boasting myself right now?

Gilgamesh barely paid any heed to the fact that he was being set on the ground. He looked up at Hakuno as she brushed a bit of hair behind her ear, warning him to be good while she made them dinner. Her soft features made his chest hurt. Her lips pressing to the top of his head only made him mewl pathetically before purring.

He liked her.

It was early. He didn’t know how powerful her magic could be and there was no reason to be this attached.

They slept close to one another, with him often upon her chest at a certain point to protect her, but…

Gilgamesh followed after the woman without thinking, weaving around her legs.

She spoiled him.

Seeing him at her ankles, she simply fed him bits and pieces of food. She cooed to him a little and called him hers. Her love. Her man. Her handsome devil.

He was quite that.

Without any kind of hesitation or concerns, she simply called him upon his value and endeared herself to him with food and attention. Her hands worked magic upon his being, itching at places he could not reach in this state.

Hakuno…

The woman was so plain.

She was being courted…

Gilgamesh purred louder, rubbing against her legs.

If he could not follow her from this house, then he would make it clear physically that she was his. He would drown her in his hair, coating her legs in as much of his loose hair as he could. She’d be coated in the stuff, unable to deny who lingered at home and stole her attentions. Any suitor who came calling would see and know.

The white-haired man could note it first. Perhaps he could do him the courtesy of informing others.

“You’re being so sweet to me,” Hakuno murmured, kneeling down and scratching at his ears. “I’m still a bit upset about Emiya.”

She focused too much on nothing.

Gilgamesh licked at the woman’s face, cringing inside at being unable to do anything properly.

As a king and human, he would have simply locked her door and seen her to safety in her room. He would have wrapped her in blankets and reminded her of whom she’d acquired in her act of good will.

Before the night was done, she would have been throwing any thought of that man to the wind and simply been purring for him, instead of him purring for her.

“I wasn’t ready to ask Emiya to date me anyway,” Hakuno murmured to him.

The room seemed to lose all warmth at those words.

She was considering him.

She was actually allowing that white-haired bastard to come near her, to woo her into becoming his wife.

He had hated the man before, despised his attempts at coming onto his woman in their home, but to think that the man was already so close to being successful? And she was going to go crawling to him? She was going to prostrate herself to him!

It was sheer lunacy.

I need to do something.

They were going to talk tomorrow.

He could hardly eat his dinner. He could hardly think of anything else as Hakuno happily ate and went to shower. He crawled to her room, trying to think carefully about how to resolve this issue.

He needed his body to be human again.

Hakuno returned and climbed into bed, pulling him into her arms and sighing gently. Her lips pressed to the top of his head again.

He needed his human body or something right now.

Just the chance to speak with his human voice would have been enough. He just needed to stop her from making a large and unstoppable mistake.

She could not become that man’s wife.

A surge of mana hit his veins as he lay there.

Glancing down, Gilgamesh watched as his body began to grow larger and larger. The golden hair was receding. His paws were fattening.  There were soon fingers on his hands. He could feel his legs stretch and shift in the blankets, as human as ever.

Within moments, Gilgamesh found himself sitting half upright next to the slumbering woman.

The magic’s worn off?

He looked down at himself, noting the strange feeling in his gut.

Either he was experiencing a bit of stomach trouble or he was still under whatever spell Ishtar had cast his way. It would be pesky, but it seemed that the magic had times where it was ineffective. It needed time to recharge.

It was a full moon outside. He’d make note of that for now as he tested out standing upright.

This body of his was back.

He was back, for an undisclosed time.

“Hakuno.”

It was his first word after being thrown through that turmoil. It felt good on his lips. The woman lying on the bed looked like she would be good on his lips.

He moved to her side and settled back on the sheets, debating how to awaken her.

Perhaps, he thought, he should awaken her by shaking her body gently.

“Hakuno,” Gilgamesh murmured, leaning in close and shaking her shoulders slightly. “Hakuno, I need you to wake up.”

The woman groaned.

Her arms lashed out, wrapping around his body a moment before he found himself falling back to the sheets. His person was pressed against the mattress. His eyes drifted up only to feel Hakuno rest her head upon his chest.

“Handsome,” Hakuno murmured.

His arms wrapped around her tightly. His lips pressed to her temple, brushing her hair back as he felt her stirring. 

His indeed.

She made the thought of claiming her as something more than a mere magician appeal to him. 

“Good evening, Hakuno,” Gilgamesh murmured as those eyes opened.

[bscarz]

Roman Godfrey AU + SMUT: Vampires and humans are forced to mate with the intention of creating a superior society. 

CARNALITY: PART 2

FIND PART 1, HERE. 

Roman was nice enough to show me the spare room after our… awkward encounter. I had slept like a baby afterwards, though the room was quite plain, the bed was extremely comfortable. I had a dreamless sleep to which I was happy about: Roman didn’t use any mesmerisation or compelling this time.

My clothes were thankfully delivered when I woke up in the morning. I put on a light blue dress and began to walk around the house; I walked the long halls through the day, ventured the garden and tried to memorise my surroundings. I was left alone a lot, and it didn’t bother me; Roman was too intimidating to be around and I enjoyed the silence, however, this content feeling won’t last long; walking around by myself is proving to be boring.

The sunlight slowly melted into darkness and I found myself in the library again. The fire was on, meaning that Roman must have been in here previously. I hope I don’t see him again but luck is never really on my side.

I sat down on one of the sofas, it was a deep red velvet colour and matched with the scheme of the room; there was another sofa opposite it, adjacent to the fire. It was an amazing spot to read a book, and I wondered why Roman wasn’t here more often.

I picked up a random book that was on the side table and started to read, however, I couldn't consume the words. All I could focus on was the situation that I was in. I thought about Roman, where did he go all day? It’s not like he can’t be in sunlight, Upirs were fine with that… he was so mysterious, and I wanted to work him out.

“Y/N”

Speak of the devil.

I turned around to find Roman, wearing all black again. He slowly stalked forward and sat on the sofa opposite me. I looked at him curiously, wondering what he was going to say.

“I have a proposition…” He stated, leaning forward. “I sure as hell don’t want kids and I can assume you don’t want them either, you’re only 18, correct?”

“Yes.”

“So I thought of a plan, something for both you and I,” he smiled. “I don’t want to waste my time and with an intrusion like this I need to make you useful somehow.”

I swallowed hard at his words. It wasn’t my fault that I was forced to be here.

“I’ll give you a room to stay in, I’ll give you freedom… to an extent, and I’ll make sure you’re always fed.” He stated, getting up from the sofa and slowly circling around me, like a hawk to its prey. I felt so small when I was around him.

“However… in return for my generosity, I want something from you.” He smirked as he stood right in front of me.

“And… that is?” I mumbled, staring up at him.

He slowly leaned forward, bringing his head closer to mine.

“I want you.”

I slowly leant back, trying to create some distance between us. I was confused by his words; I’m here, so doesn’t he technically have me already?

“I would never force a woman to sleep with me, Y/N… I don’t have to, I have an endless amount of people willing to sleep with me,” He stated, “yet, I’ve been around for a long time, I have done everything there is; It’s seldom I get excited.”

“But you…” He continued, ��A virgin. I have not been with a virgin for a very, very long time, and honestly, the idea excites me.”

“How so?” I replied.

Roman only smirked at my question and gently put his right hand on my cheek, rubbing it tenderly.

“Oh the things I could do to you… you have no clue.” He mumbled, shaking his head.

“So… you want to have sex with me?” I questioned.

“Yes… but as I stated before, I have to train you first, you’re not ready yet,” He spoke as he approached the other sofa again and sat down, making himself comfortable.

“This is not up for discussion, Y/N. I am not a fan of guests, and I am not one for mercy… but you’re just so innocent, and I would love to taint you.”

A shiver was sent down my spine, he was so intimidating and authoritative. I would never want to get on his bad side.

“But if you don’t want to have sex with me yet… what are we going to do?”

He chuckled at my words, a look of amusement flashing across his face.

“Oh, Y/N, there are so many things we can do before intercourse.”

“Like…?” I questioned.

“Have you ever touched yourself?” He asked huskily, a smirk tugging upon his lips.

“What?” I whispered back, shocked by his intrusive question.

“You heard me.”

“Uh…” I had no idea how to reply, I was blushing violently and his penetrating gaze was not making anything easier. It was so hard to maintain eye contact but I knew if I looked away he would scold me.

Roman slowly leant back more, getting comfortable on the sofa. He slowly opened his legs and placed each palm on his knees. The smirk never leaving his face.

“Touch yourself.”

“What?” My eyes were wide and I felt extremely vulnerable, especially with the skin of my legs exposed. I closed my legs tight and gripped the edge of my dress with my hands. He can’t be serious.

“I want to see you touch yourself.” He commanded.

“No,” I interjected, trying to be more forceful. The idea of touching myself in front of Roman was making me more embarrassed than the dream last night.

“Don’t you want some relief? After your dream about me last night?” He smirked.

“You compelled me!”  

“But you woke up aroused, I could smell you.”

My face was on fire. I can’t believe I am dealing with this complex individual. I feel like I can never win around him, and it was proving to be highly frustrating.

“Now, show me.” He said dangerously low, it almost felt like a threat and I was scared to defy him.

I didn’t want to do this but I felt like I had no choice. I wasn’t strong, I was weak; especially compared to Roman. I never liked confrontation or fighting, I never stood up for myself even though I really wanted to. I was born into a sheltered environment, everything was daunting to me.

I reluctantly reached under my dress and slowly pulled down my underwear. I glanced up at Roman to see his eyes fixated on me; he was leaning a little more forward now as if I was enticing him with every movement.

“Spread your legs.” He directed.

We sat in silence, the only sound was the crackling of the fire behind us, I was thankful that the room was dimly lit, however, Roman would still be able to see every bit of me. I know I was naked last night, but that was a dream. I can’t show this man my private parts… I couldn’t.

“Please.” I pleaded, begging him with my eyes, but I could tell he was having none of it. I had never been more mortified in my life, I couldn’t bear to do this. My hands were shaking in my lap.

“Close your eyes,” Roman replied, ignoring my begging.

I let out a loud sigh and leaned back into the sofa, attempting to relax my body. I tried to block the idea of Roman sitting in front of me and focused on trying to calm myself down. I slowly but surely spread my legs open, feeling my face grow hotter. I was thankful that my eyes were closed because I definitely didn’t want to see his reaction.

“Show me how you pleasure yourself.” He demanded, “and move your dress so I can see more of you.”

I gripped my dress with my hands and slowly raised it to the top of my thighs. I took a deep breath and placed my palms on my legs, trying to gain some warmth in my hands. I slowly traced my hand forward and lowered it to my folds, squeezing my eyes tighter, even though I could feel his gaze burning into me.

My fingers made contact with my clit, resulting in a shiver rippling through me. It felt so uncomfortable doing this, especially since I wasn’t exactly aroused, but I knew I had to get through this task fast. I sped up my movements slightly and began to feel the pleasure. I was beginning to breathe harder and the whimpers leaving my mouth couldn't be suppressed. I was getting so caught up that I forgot all about Roman, that was until I heard his voice.

“Stop.”

My eyes flickered open and the blush had returned to my face. He was still sitting there, transfixed on my body. I felt incredibly embarrassed for getting so caught up in my pleasure, but Roman’s face held no judgement, which slightly comforted me.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He questioned.

I was confused, what did he want from me really? I remained silent, uncomfortable by his presence.

“Answer me or I’ll put you over my knee right now.”

I gasped at his response but quickly nodded my head.

Roman didn’t respond to my statement. He just grabbed the back of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. I couldn't lie, he had an amazing body and I was trying so hard not to stare, I could see his v-lines sticking out from his jeans and the muscles on his arms, finally free from his tight black T-shirt. I was so transfixed that I didn’t even get to question why he took his shirt off.

“Come here,” he whispered huskily, and I slowly stood up reaching for my underwear. “Leave them” he replied, and I nodded my head slightly and slowly strolled over to where he was sitting

Roman was quick with his hands and grabbed my waist, pulling me down and on top of him. I was straddling his lap and I had no underwear on; it felt so scandalous. His big hands gripped my delicate hips as he slowly pushed me down, my dress spreading around us.

“Mmm,” Roman moaned, and I could feel my heart beat getting faster. Was I enjoying this? I couldn't deny that Roman was insanely attractive, but I felt guilty for doing this, even though I shouldn't be.

Roman’s hands went under my dress and found the skin of my thighs, he closed his eyes as he moved his hands up and down my legs, it was a comforting feeling, but when I felt a bulge begin to rise in his pants, hitting my centre, I grew extremely hot.

Roman began to slightly rock his hips forward, and the pressure was beginning to tease me. I placed my hands on his shoulders, steadying myself while breathing heavy. Roman opened his eyes and stared at me, our eyes never leaving each others… I was enjoying this.

“You make me… so damn hard.” Roman murmured, his lips close to mine; his teeth sunk into his bottom lip and the sight was driving me crazy, he was trying to suppress a moan but he couldn't control the sounds leaving his mouth; I didn’t want him to, I liked hearing them.

I circled my hips around his bulge, trying to create some friction. Roman’s hands instantly went back to my hips, gripping them hard, he began to push me down onto him while he rolled his hips up, the rough fabric of his jeans was against my core and it felt good yet not enough.

“I want to fuck you so bad.” He growled, pushing upwards again, our hips rolling into each others. I tilted my head back and whimpered, it felt so good and I could feel my body igniting with desire.

“Oh my god,” I whispered, closing my eyes as I started to ride him faster, my body was beginning to bounce on top of his.

“I’m going to fuck you like this… one day.” He groaned, as his hand went behind my head and pushed me down into him, kissing me hard. I had never kissed anyone before so I was quite inexperienced, however, Roman didn’t seem to mind, his lips were rough against mine, needy, but passionate as if we both couldn’t get enough.

Roman broke the kiss and looked deeply into my eyes. He hurriedly unbuckled his belt and threw it on the ground, I could see the wet patch on his jeans and I blushed profusely. Roman was quick to unbutton his jeans and pushed the material down his legs, kicking them off his feet. He grabbed my hips again and pushed me back against him, this time my wet centre was meeting with his clothed erection; only a thin material of his boxers separating us, yet I could feel him so much better now.

I was so close to the edge, and I could feel the sweat dripping down my head. Our hips never ceased to roll against each other’s, and the sounds of our moans were filling the room.

“Come on, Y.N, ride me, fuck me.” He breathed. “Fuck me.”

His words sent me over the edge and I moaned loudly, hiding my face in the crook of his neck, my arms wrapped around him as I rode through my orgasm on top of him. I kept bouncing on him as he pushed against me; he let out a loud moan as his cock twitched while he released in his boxers.

Our heavy breathing filled the room, I slowly retracted my head from the crook of his neck, shyly glancing up at him. Roman’s chest was still rising up and down rapidly as he controlled his breathing. A smile broke out onto his face, a genuine one. He lifted his right hand and wrapped it around a piece of my hair, tucking it behind my ear gently. It was a big contrast from his usually harsh behaviour, and I could feel my stomach flutter by his kind gesture.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He smirked, a question he loved to repeat. I nodded shyly in response, a hint of a smile making its way onto my face. Roman didn’t say another word as he lightly played with my hair. He was being so gentle, I felt like I could fall asleep in his arms. 

“I can’t wait, Y/N”, he whispered hypnotically, “The things I’m going to do to you.”

Here’s part 2 guys! Can I just say, I was so overwhelmed by your responses to Part 1 that I was beyond excited to create this. I apologise if there are any mistakes, I was just so excited and wanted to get this out there; didn’t want you guys waiting any longer. 

There might be a chapter three ;), but for now, enjoy this smutty piece hehe. Here are a few tags of the people who commented on Part 1; I am beyond grateful for your support, I am so lucky this ‘fandom’ is so lovely. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! This is all because of you, your responses motivate me to write faster! xx

@dinogorawr23 @billskarsgourd @reinamysterio @mintandfigs @bill-skarsgard-writings @mtb04308 @princess-chocolate-drop @meeowbbyx @thewolfangelchild @ayasaga7 @bskarsgardlove92 @curious-expectations @vodkaluh @missrobyn81 @princessserena23 @itsjusthowmymindworks @this-is-the-way-it-ends @antle48

[bloojayoolie]

Beautiful, Cats, and Children: NYX Breathtaking affectionate, friendly playful& SWeet. A perfect, proven family pet a gem! Id 66638, 2 Yrs. 56 lbs., Spayed & Waiting for YOU, at the Manhattan ACC TO BE KILLED – 6/27/2019 She’s simply breathtaking say the volunteers, and if you watch her beautiful video with her volunteer friend, Evelyne Cumps (below), you will see why she is so loved. She is such a good, sweet girl who has found herself at the shelter when her parent became homeless. She has only known the love of a family, and it’s understandable that this delicate girl is somewhat overwhelmed by these sudden, scary changes in her circumstance. NYX loves being with people, and she desperately needs company and comfort, as she negotiates the shelter environment. She is getting that in abundance. When with a family she is friendly and outgoing with people, she loves to give hugs and kisses, and she loves to play. She is a NO ISSUE dog, and she even lived with and loved a small breed pup. We can’t imagine why anyone would not want this magnificent girl by their side, and many of us are hard pressed to resist her. But what we want, and what the volunteers really want, is to see this gorgeous proven family pet find a new family to love her. If you are an experienced foster or adopter in an adult only home (no children under age 13 due to her shyness) hurry and message our page or email us at MustLoveDogsNYC@gmail.com for assistance saving her life. My Movie! NYX is Breathtaking! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw-2aTbVBSM NYX, ID# 66638, 2 Yrs. Old, 56.4 lbs, Spayed Female Manhattan ACC, Large Mixed Breed, Black Owner Surrender Reason: Owner HOMELESS Shelter Assessment Rating: New Hope Rescue Only Behavior Condition: 2. Blue AT RISK NOTE: Nyx has exhibited distance increasing behaviors while at the care center and has remained fearful and anxious. Nyx becomes nervous around new people and will need a slow approach. Nyx would be best suited for placement with a new hope partner that can provide the necessary behavior modification. Medically, Nyx seems healthy. INTAKE NOTES – DATE OF INTAKE, 6/20/2019: Upon intake, Nyx had a loose body and jumped onto me to try and lick me. Nyx remained loose body and she was leashed but then pulled hard to start walking. Nyx began to hard bark at a person who was standing outside the lobby. Nyx pulled hard on the leash as she was walked to the back and walked into her kennel with no problem. OWNER SURRENDER NOTES – BASIC INFORMATION: Nyx is approximately a 2 year old spayed black large mixed breed dog. Nyx lived with previous owner for 2 years. Nyx was surrendered because his owner could no longer care for her. She lived with 2 adults. Nyx is friendly and energetic with strangers. When strangers come to visit, Nyx will jump on them and lick them. Nyx has never interacted with children. Nyx has previously interacted with 12 year old male small mixed breed dog. Nyx is described as being friendly and playful. Nyx has never interacted with cats. However, the client stated that Nyx will chase after cats she sees outside. Nyx is not bothered when her food or bowl is touched while she is eating. Nyx is not bothered when a toy or treat is taken away. Nyx has never bitten another animal or human. She is housetrained and has a very high energy level. Other Notes: Nyx is not bothered by loud noises or fireworks. Nyx does not like when someone makes the noise "shhh." The client stated that Nyx will bark and run towards the person and knock them down. Nyx is not bothered when being bathed. Nyx is not bothered when her coat is brushed. Nyx is not bothered when her nails are trimmed. Nyx will approach strangers and sniff them when she is approaches inside of her yard. Nyx has never had a medical issue and has no known medical concerns. For a New Family to Know: Nyx is a friendly, affectionate, playful, confident and energetic dog. When at home, Nyx will follow you around and likes to be in the same room as you. Nyx was kept mostly indoors and had access to a yard. Nyx will sleep anywhere she feels comfortable. Nyx was fed Purina Pro Plan chicken and rice dry food once a day. Nyx is house trained and used potty outdoors. Nyx is crate trained but the door was never closed. For exercise, Nyx was let out into the yard many times a day. Nyx has been walked on a leash and pulls very hard. Nyx has never been walked off a leash. SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES – DATE OF ASSESSMENT, 6/23/2019 Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Moderately social Call over: Approaches with coaxing Sociability comments: Pacing, panting, walks up to assessor and then walks away Handling Soft handling: Tolerates contact Exuberant handling: Tolerates contact Handling comments: Panting heavily, stands still Arousal Jog: Follows (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Cowers Knock Comments: Backs away Toy: No response Toy comments: None PLAYGROUP NOTES – DOG TO DOG SUMMARIES: 6/22-23: When introduced off leash to male and female dogs, Nyx is fearful but will greet and allow greeting. INTAKE BEHAVIOR - Date of intake:: 6/20/2019 Summary:: loose body, jumps up, hard barks at person in lobby, pulls hard on leash. MEDICAL BEHAVIOR - Date of initial:: 6/21/2019 Summary:: tense, flinches during exam, panting ENERGY LEVEL:: Nyx is described as having a very high level of activity. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct her energy and enthusiasm. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: 6/23 During one-one interaction with handler in play yard, Nyx appeared anxious overall. When a second handler attempted to enter the pen, Nyx escalated to hard barking and growling so the second staff member moved away. Nyx was unable to readily recover and then began hard barking at original handler in pen; she appeared to settle within a few moments. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),No cats, Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to the high level of anxiety and fear Nyx displays at the care center, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to the reactivity Nyx has displayed towards certain people at the care center, we recommend placement with a New Hope partner who can provide any necessary behavior modification (force-free, positive reinforcement-based) and re-evaluate behavior in a stable home environment before placement into a permanent home. Potential challenges: : Fearful/potential for defensive aggression,Anxiety,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration,Other Potential challenges comments:: Fearfull/potential for defensive aggression: Nyx is fearful at the care center, at first avoiding contact with new people and taking some time to warm up to them. She has also been reactive to some people that she encounters. Please see handout on l/potential for defensive aggression. Anxiety: Nyx is very anxious at the care center, panting and pacing. Please see handout on Anxiety. Other: Nyx is reported to bark at and run towards a person who says "ssh", knocking them down to the ground. We do not know the cause of this behavior or what else it may be related to. Adopters should be aware of this information and avoid making this noise at first. A positive reinforcement, force-free trainer should be worked with to help with this behavior. On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration: Nyx has displayed reactivity to some people at the care center, lunging forward and hard barking. Please see handout on On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration. MEDICAL NOTES 6/21/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2 yrs based on O hx. consistent with exam Microchip noted on Intake? scanned positive. History : O surrender due to housing issues Subjective / Observed Behavior - BAR, tense, flinching throughout exam. P is panting and pacing in intake room Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - none Objective BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: dc 1/5; pd 1/5 PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: No murmur ausculted; CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: spayed female. MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal. Assessment dental disease Prognosis: excellent Plan: behavioral assessment SURGERY: spayed *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** NYX IS RESCUE ONLY. You must fill out applications with New Hope Rescues to foster or adopt her. She cannot be reserved online at the ACC ARL, nor can she be direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE HURRY AND MESSAGE OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE! HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/List Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account \ Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adoption@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 *** NEW NYC ACC RATING SYSTEM *** Level 1 Dogs with Level 1 determinations are suitable for the majority of homes. These dogs are not displaying concerning behaviors in shelter, and the owner surrender profile (where available) is positive. Level 2 Dogs with Level 2 determinations will be suitable for adopters with some previous dog experience. They will have displayed behavior in the shelter (or have owner reported behavior) that requires some training, or is simply not suitable for an adopter with minimal experience. Level 3 Dogs with Level 3 determinations will need to go to homes with experienced adopters, and the ACC strongly suggest that the adopter have prior experience with the challenges described and/or an understanding of the challenge and how to manage it safely in a home environment.

[jinterlude]

Our Second Chance (Ch.5)

↳Story Header © @softjeon (do not steal this header!)

➳ Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Female OC x Kim Namjoon

➳ Genre(s): Modern!AU, Royalty!AU, Modern Royal Family!AU , Enemies turned Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Romance, & Angst

➳ Words: 6.1K

➳ Summary: Have you ever gotten that familiar feeling when you first see someone? That strange connection between yourselves even though you have no clue where that came from. Yeah…that was the sensation that Sumin felt on a daily basis ever since she has come face-to-face with the one and only Kim Seokjin. Despite being named after their ancestors, two people who were madly in love with each other, these two cannot stand to be in each other’s presence. However, that must change or else history will repeat itself. Sounds like an adventure, right?

※ Previously: ch.1 | ch.2 | ch.3 | ch.4

※ Next time: ch.6 | ch.7 |  coming soon!

Chapter 5 – I Thought Balls Were Supposed to be Drama Free?

Previously

         “Well, actually, he didn’t stand me up…” Sumin chimed in. Though, her voice sounded hesitant.

Sowon raised her brow and asked her to clarify while Jungkook secretly felt relieved that his close friend didn’t fuck things up with Sumin; thus, eliminating his chances with Sowon.

         “What I mean is that he didn’t stand me up. Instead, he just suddenly stood up, paid for our meal, and ran out of the restaurant. Now, I have to find a plan B since my father texted me earlier reminding me of that damn deadline… So, you up for marrying me?” Sumin explained, suggesting that she and Sowon marry because right now she was running out of options.

         “Yes, I will gladly marry you baby! Who needs men?!” Sowon exclaimed as she hugged Sumin, rubbing her cheek against the side of Sumin’s head.

Jungkook eyed the happy “couple” as he mentally cursed at Seokjin.

         “Thanks a lot dude…thanks a fucking lot…”

He then fished out his phone and quickly texted someone.

[To RM 09:03 PM: Okay, I’m on your team…Seokjin majorly fucked things up with Sumin…]

A cooling breeze swept past the ivory laced curtains as it made its way towards a certain someone’s room. A room where an upset princess remained hidden, practically locked away from the world. Ever since her recent date with Sir Seokjin, Sumin spent her days, pondering what went wrong, as she had yet to comprehend Seokjin’s mind. More importantly, she had yet to find a reasonable explanation as to what may had spooked him. Was it her mannerisms that night? Perhaps, was it her new bold appearance that she allowed her dearest friends to bestow upon her?

Honestly, if she could, she would march right up to his office and demand answers. Sadly, something prevented her from doing so. It was if this supernatural force blocked her every move and confined her to the for walls of her room.

Then, as if that wasn’t a huge sign, she had lost the journal that her ancestor had kept from the day she had received the beautifully leathered empty book up until her final moments before her timely death. Sumin frantically searched high and low for the book, but always came up emptied handed.

Maybe she didn’t deserve to know how her ancestor won the heart of Seokjin’s ancestor. Maybe she as punishment for her offspring Queen Sumin I cursed her family, preventing anyone from finding their true love since she was denied hers.

Too many unanswered questions…and so little time…

Sumin now only had a few months left before her deadline was up and would be forced to marry her best friend. Her heart screamed at her to do something—anything. While, her mind, simply told her to just call off her little act of rebellion and marry Namjoon.

At this point, she might as well marry her best friend since Seokjin practically ran for the hills and she hadn’t heard a peep from him since that night.

Maybe…just maybe…marrying Namjoon wouldn’t be so terrible…

Yet…what about Seokjin?

What…about…Seokjin…?

Staring blankly at the ceiling, Sumin sighed for the millionth time; only the sound of her beating heart entered her ears. She became one with her thoughts, allowing everything and anything to consume her mind.

Well, those thoughts were allowed until the sound of repeated, loud knocking echoed throughout her room, surpassing the soft classical music that poured out of her Bluetooth speakers.

A faint groan escaped her lips as she forced herself up and shouted a quick, “enter”, hoping that whoever intruder was would leave her in peace.

Unfortunately—it wasn’t just any intruder—it was Queen Sowon.

         “Okay…why are you this vampiric princess? Huh, Sumin?” asked Sowon as she flipped on the switches, shedding light in Sumin’s dark “dungeon”.

Sumin rolled her eyes as she scooted off her bed.

         “To what do I owe the pleasure of having you in my room?” She asked with an overly sweet tone.

Sowon’s brow perked up, feeling kind of caught off guard that Sumin’s acting a tad snippy.

         “Ooh…! The princess is showing a bit of an attitude…,” She pushed herself off the wall she leaned her shoulder against and walked over to the grumpy princess, “I am secretly digging it.” She stated, clicking her tongue and winking at Sumin. Her favorite go-to flirting action.

Sumin grimaced as she shied away from the confident queen, however, Sowon was quicker. She wrapped a warm arm around Sumin’s shoulders and pulled her closer, forcing the poor princess into a snuggle session.      

         “Now, talk to your fairy Godmother and tell me what’s wrong. Maybe Jae Hwa and I can help you out?” Sowon suggested, smiling softly.

Sumin sighed as she eyed her lap sadly. She firmly believed that no one could help her…

         “I don’t think you can…” Sumin muttered, shrugging off Sowon’s caring touch. She then stood up and walked over to the window, eyeing the courtyard as the castle workers continued to prepare for tonight’s ball.

A look of worry glazed over her eyes as Sowon did not like the fact that this feeling of defeat radiated off Sumin… A feeling that she personally had not seen since the day she had heard the news of being crowned queen…

Sowon bit the inside of her cheek as a few members of her kingdom’s government continued to spew random bullshit, hoping it would compel to take up the throne. However, that was something she didn’t want…or at least…not yet.

She mustered the fakest polite smile she could before interrupting the fine gentlemen, bidding them a “fond” farewell with her half-filled wine glass.

The wonderful music from the lively orchestra filled the ballroom as important guests chattered and mingled with one another. A known tactic when it came to establishing important relationships amongst kingdoms.

A heavy, long sigh exited the soon-to-be queen’s plump lips as she raised her wine glass, hoping to take a sip of the sweet wine; sadly, there wasn’t a drop left. Sowon pursed her lips as she politely pushed through the crowds of people.

         “Damn…who would’ve thought that an engagement party would be this…,” Her thought trailed as she observed the bright, luminescent ballroom, “Stimulating…” She finished as she resumed her adventure towards the bar…or was until she felt a petite body collide into hers.

Sowon felt a few droplets on her bare arm and immediately wiped it off. She then lifted her head to meet the person who bumped into her and as soon as her eyes gazed forward, she noticed that there wasn’t anyone in front of her…or so she thought…

         “Oh my goodness! I am incredibly sorry!” shouted a soft voice.

Sowon glanced down and saw the person bowing deeply in front of her. She stifled her laughter as she found the person quite adorable. Normally, she would be pissed but seeing how she had alcohol in her bloodstream, and the fact that she recognized the poor girl as Princess Sumin II, she brushed it off.

What? It wasn’t her fault that the princess was being quite the cutie right now.

         “Ah…don’t sweat it,” Sowon paused, gesturing that most of the princess’ drink spilled onto the floor, “Besides, at least your stunning ballgown remains unstained.” She commented, smiling warmly at her.

The young lady blushed slightly, keeping her eyes focused on the ground.

Sowon’s brow raised as she mentally took note of how shy the princess was. A trait that she would have to fix.

         “Anyway, I’m Sowon.” She introduced herself, holding out her hand for the princess to take.

The princess’ eyes grew wide; her doe-like stare ever so visible. She quickly introduced herself as Sumin and nervously shook Sowon’s hand.

         “I know who you are.” Sowon said with a mischievous smirk.

Sumin mentally groaned, wanting to crawl in a hole and die.

         “Look, whatever you had read about me in those stupid tabloids, they are not true.” She firmly stated, tired of people judging her for things she “supposedly” did.

Sowon was caught off guard with Sumin’s sudden bite in her words.

         “Interesting…maybe if I work my magic correctly, I can give this introverted princess a little bit of a backbone.” Sowon thought as an interesting plan began to formulate in her mind.

         “You know… I think you and I are going to get along swimmingly.” She declared as she wrapped a friendly warm around Sumin’s naked shoulders.

Sumin froze from the sudden sign of affection. The only person she was used to was Namjoon, who recently became her fiancé, and even then, she rarely liked his random acts of affection.

Don’t get her wrong though. It’s not like she doesn’t like being shown that someone cares for her, it’s just that she doesn’t like too much attention drawn to her.

         “…okay…but can you please let go of me? People are beginning to stare.” Sumin requested, feeling her face grow hot as she noticed many partygoers glance their way.

Sowon, on the other hand, could care less about the unwanted attention. If anything, she fed off it. It fueled her confident tank. It helped her take on the world, and with this newly formed friendship with Sumin, she felt that for once…it’d be okay.

         “You know…since you asked that…,” Sowon paused, “I’m going to hug you even more!” She happily declared, earning more unwanted gossip and stares from random people as she tightened her hold on the adorable princess.

Sumin groaned, trying her hardest to pry off the stubborn woman.

         “Great…”

A soft chuckle exited her lips as Sowon recalled that memory fondly. She could honestly remember how the sweet wine smelled so vividly. Who would’ve thought that two opposites became such close friends?

         “Sumin…I know that look, and I could’ve sworn that I didn’t raise you to be this timid princess.” Sowon stated, giving the defeated princess a look. A look that said, “Where’s my bad ass princess that waved off unwanted negativity and said, ‘next’?”

Sumin sighed, hugging her body as she knew that Sowon had a point. She always had a point.

         “First of all, you didn’t raise me at all. Second of all, you know I hate it when you make a point.” Sumin said before letting out a long sigh. She then peeked from out of her ivory laced curtain; her gaze masked the hurt that hid beneath her neutral exterior.

She watched every single florist make sure that every display was perfect. She heard her father bark orders, advising each worker that tonight was going to be incredibly special, so they better bring their game faces.

Feeling disgusted, she roughly closed the curtain and turned away from the window. Sumin walked over to her vanity mirror and sat down. Sowon frowned after observing the look of complete and utter dread on Sumin’s face.

Okay, she had to do something and fast. She pulled out her phone from her back pocket and opened the messaging app. She scrolled through her contact list until she found the person she’d been looking for.

[To My Favorite Flower 07:38 PM: S.O.S! Our princess is waving the white flag! We need to do something!]

Not even a few minutes later, Sowon received a message from Jae Hwa:

[From My Favorite Flower 07:39 PM: Really? It’s that serious…? Remind me to ask Taehyung for that prick’s number so I can find him and stab him with one of my paint brushes…]

Sowon chuckled at Jae Hwa’s message as she thought up the perfect reply:

[To My Favorite Flower 07:41 PM: I’ll help you ;) but in all seriousness…get your cute ass over here ASAP! We need to pull out everything and anything to lift her spirits up!]

[From My Favorite Flower 07:44 PM: Yes, your majesty! LOL]

[To My Favorite Flower 07:45 PM: …you are lucky that you’re my dear friend…]

After sending that last response, Sowon shoved her phone back in her back pocket of her jeans and walked over to Sumin, who remained still in front of her mirror.

         “Don’t worry, my soft princess…help is coming…” Sowon thought as she rested her chin on top of Sumin’s head.

Meanwhile, with a certain Lord, the sounds of the fire cackling entered his ears. The guilty lord gazed at his fireplace, swirling his brandy as he pondered every move he could take to talk to Sumin. It had been months since he had run out on her; a mistake that he had come to regret every single moment of his life since then. He could barely focus on his kingdom duties because of how much the princess preoccupied it. The sucky thing about that was that even his office workers noticed how distraught their boss had become. It pained them to see this look of complete guilt glued onto Seokjin’s face, but they knew that there was nothing that could be done. When it came to Princess Sumin, they knew it was best to not bring her up around him…

Now, to this day, Seokjin could not understand why he had dashed out without an explanation. What possessed him to ruin everything that he had worked hard for? He knew of Sumin’s insecurities—her walls that she spent years building up because of the idiotic things that were written and said about her. Just when he was about to knock down the last wall, he fucked up majorly and was now back to square one with her. They were back to being polite acquaintances…

When he asked Taehyung and Jimin for any probable explanation, Taehyung proposed that he had left because he didn’t want history to repeat itself.

The moment Taehyung said that, it just clicked. Seokjin’s ancestor failed to marry the love of his life—Sumin’s ancestor. Knowing that instilled fear within Seokjin’s heart. What if he too would fail at obtaining the love of his life?

Too many variables came into play, but at the end of the day, his happiness should and would always be his utmost priority.

It truly hurt his heart that he would have to stab Namjoon in the back but deep down…Seokjin knew that the brainy prince would do the same. Shit…he’s already doing it.

The morning after the tragic date, Seokjin manned up and called Sumin, hoping to apologize and beg for a second chance.

Sadly, it wasn’t Sumin’s melodious voice that answered her phone but Namjoon’s instead. Deciding to ignore that tiny fact, Seokjin demanded that Namjoon hand over the phone to Sumin that way he could explain himself…

         “Please…let me talk to her…” pleaded Seokjin.

Namjoon scoffed, no longer caring that Seokjin made Sumin happy. He trusted the pretty boy with Sumin’s happiness—her heart—and he threw it away the moment he stood up from his seat and ran out. Nope. He’s not going to make that mistake again. It was at that moment that Namjoon realized that he would no longer remain on the sidelines, ensuring Sumin’s happiness. Now, he would be the one to make her happy. He would be the one to guard her heart and protect her wellbeing. Him. Not Seokjin.

         “I’m sorry, but Sumin said she doesn’t ever want to speak to you again. Please respect her wishes…” Namjoon said before hanging up.

Seokjin stared at his phone, completely baffled. His mouth parted a bit as he tried to wrap his mind around what Namjoon said. Did Sumin hate him that much?

No…

She couldn’t hate him…especially not after confessing that he made her feel something…

Seokjin downed the remaining sips of his brandy before standing up. No. He wasn’t going to have things end like this. While he used to fear having history repeat itself, Seokjin now used that feeling to fuel his desire. His undying need to have Sumin by his side—to have her unconditional love.

He placed his glass down and looked at his watch. Sumin’s kingdom always hosted an all Hallows Eve ball, and that’s where he needed to be.

         “I’m coming Princess Sumin, and this time, I’m ready to fight for you.” He thought as he exited his office and made his way towards his room.

Back with Sumin, the blank princess sat still, uncaring about the fact that Sowon and Jae Hwa were in a lively discussion about what type of look she should go for.

Jae Hwa opted for a pastel color schemed while Sowon suggested that Sumin should go for dark colors.

         “Okay, why don’t we let Sumin decide which color scheme she wants?” Jae Hwa suggested, smiling smugly knowing that Sumin hated bold colors since it attracted unwanted attention.

Sowon rolled her eyes, grabbed both ball gowns, and walked over to the princess, who currently sat prim and proper on the edge of her bed.

         “Alright, please end our debate and pick which dress you would want to wear for the masquerade ball?” asked Sowon, glancing at both dresses with pursed lips. Huh…the more she stared at the light dust pink colored dress, the more she saw Sumin in it. Shoot, she could see her as this fairy princess. Then, a lightbulb went off in her brilliant mind.

Out of nowhere, Jae Hwa saw Sowon carelessly toss the black with blood red lace dress to the side. She raised her brow and asked why she had done that.

Sowon grinned widely as if she was the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland and explained that she had come up with the perfect theme for their dear princess.

Jae Hwa smirked, happy knowing that she’d have the chance to test out her transformation skills.

         “I’m all ears…”

Haunted and eerie sounds echoed throughout the courtyard. On every other pillar sat a Jack O Lantern, while the castle guards wore their usual uniform but had fake blood painted on their jackets, and they each wore a black mask that covered only their eyes.

Sumin’s parents adored Halloween because it was the only time they were allowed to pretend to be something other than King and Queen.

It was honestly refreshing…

Now, waiting at the top of the grand staircase, Sumin stood there, frozen, like a statue, as she awaited her turn to descend down the stairs. She closed her eyes briefly as she tried her hardest to calm her sporadic breathing. Her ancestor’s ring would move a smidge because how hard her heart beats against her chest.

         “Hey…you’re going to be alright.” Sumin heard Sowon say softly as she placed warm touch on her bare shoulder.

Sumin glanced up and flashed a short smile, hoping that her smile alone would make Sowon stop worrying about her.

         “I know… I just hate knowing that there are a sea of people looking at me, expecting me so much, and I am failing them. I mean, right now, there are talks of me stalling my wedding with Namjoon because I have fallen in love with another man…,” Sumin paused, peering out to the crowd of eager guests, hating how easy it was for them to hide their judgmental eyes with those stupid masks, “And they are right about me…I have fallen in love with Sir Seokjin, and it hurts knowing that it is one-sided.” She finished with a somber tone.

         “Okay, you stop this right now! No more of this defeated outlook!” Sowon finally snapped at Sumin, fed up with her defeatist attitude, “You are Princess Sumin II. You always fought back to defend your name. You knew what was right and what was wrong. Never once, in my entire time of knowing, have I ever seen you become this negative person. A person who believed that she was too blame for some stupid man running out on her at dinner. A person who felt guilty only because she wore the ring that triggered that sad little man. No! No more!” Sowon finished her rant, earning words of encouragement from Jae Hwa.

Sumin stared at her friend in awe with her mouth slightly agape. Sowon was right. Jae Hwa was right. How could she had been so blind? It was not her fault that she always wore her ancestor’s ring around her neck nor was it her fault that Seokjin felt overwhelmed and left her behind.

Nope. Nada.

No more would she throw herself this pity party. She would wear a prideful smile and hold her head up high. After all, she bowed her head even more, then her crown would fall.

A princess couldn’t have that.

         “You’re right, Sowon,” She then turned towards Jae Hwa, “The both of you,” She pulled them into the biggest hug ever, “You both are right. Thank you so much.” She said with a genuine smile.

Sowon chuckled softly as she and Jae Hwa both muttered a quick “thank you” before the trio pulled away.

         “Now ladies, shall we?” Jae Hwa said as she covered her eyes with her white and black laced mask.

Both Sumin and Sowon copied her action and now, the three of them wait for their names to be announced…

Minutes go by as each name on the special guest list was announced. Little by little each person descended down the red-carpet staircase. Before she knew it, it was time for her and her friends to graciously walk down the steps with their chosen partner in tow.

         “Presenting, her royal majesty, Queen Sowon!” shouted the royal crier as every potential suitor, fanboys Sowon called them, abruptly turned their gaze towards the desirable queen.

Sowon sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, “Again?” She then turned towards Sumin and mouthed an apology as she didn’t realize that among her fan club were men from a royal background. Though…she had an inkling…

Unknown to the queen, Jungkook, who was currently jumping to get gain a better view of his future wife, tried to come with the perfect plan to push through the sea of hormonal men and earn Sowon’s favor.

Question was…how?

Wait…

That was it!

Without a second thought, he pushed through the crowd, uncaring if he had been rude towards his fellow royal members, but this was Sowon. His queen.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sowon noticed a familiar face as he continued to force himself through the sea of people. Her heart skipped a beat. Her cheeks became stained with this pinkish hue. It truly surprised her to see Jungkook make this tremendous effort just to get to her before any other suitor does.

Maybe…just maybe…she should give him a shot.

Like Sumin once told her,

         “Everyone deserves a chance at finding love…”

The sound of someone clearing his throat pulled the queen out of her thoughts. Sowon looked down and saw Jungkook bowing deeply in front of her as he held out his hand for her to take. A tradition for any potential suitor that wanted to let the other competition know that they could stop trying.

         “Your majesty, it would be an honor if you allow me to be your companion for the rest of the evening.” Jungkook announced; his voice dripped with such confidence.

A bright smile formed on Sowon’s face as she gently placed her palm on top of his.

The moment their hands touched, this unexplainable electricity shot through both their arms. Their hearts sped up as they gazed into each other’s eyes, becoming lost in their own little world.

         “I would be delighted to have you as my companion for the rest of the evening.” Sowon said with such poise that it caused her fan boys to swoon and fall deeper in love with her.

Both Sumin and Jae Hwa watched their friend leave with her arm wrapped around Jungkook’s arm. The two of them stood there in awe as they had never seen Sowon act so…proper…

Soon, it was Jae Hwa’s turn to walk down to the party with her chosen suitor, and just as Taehyung walked up to her, offering his hand, Sumin latched onto Jae Hwa’s wrist and pleaded,

         “Please…don’t let me go down there alone.”

Jae Hwa smiled apologetically, fully aware for the soft princess’ hatred for unwanted attention, and if she was allowed to, Jae Hwa would offer the princess to walk down with her and Taehyung. Alas, stupid royal traditions got in the way…

         “You can do it…!” The lady mouthed as she stepped down the stairs with Taehyung happily by her side.

Sumin’s breathing became uneven once again. Eager suitors awaited their turn; their nerves went into frenzy. Every single one of them hoped that the princess would accept their offer—especially Prince Namjoon and Lord Seokjin.

A sense of rivalry filled the air as they glanced at each other here and there. Their fingers trembled against the fabric of the pocket their hands currently hid inside.

         “Presenting, her royal highness, Princess Sumin II!” The royal crier announced, causing every guest to instantly snap their eyes onto the poor princess.

Sumin’s face instantly became hot as her eyes widened. Her fingers shook while her heart pounded roughly against her chest. Little by little, the oxygen left her lungs as everyone continued to gaze at the anxious princess.

Honestly, Sumin wanted to pick up her dress and run back to her room, locking herself away from the world.

         “Excuse me princess…” the nervous princess heard a couple voices say simultaneously.

Sumin peeked up and became shocked. There, in front of her, stood Namjoon and Seokjin. Both holding out their hand towards her.

A sheepish smile graced her lips as Sumin chuckled nervously. If the unwanted attention was bad enough, but fate had to throw two men—both who vied for her attention—into the mix. Great…just freaking great…

         “Sweetheart, please accept one of their hands and descend down the steps. The ball is waiting for their princess to lighten up the room.” She heard her father shout from the bottom of the stairs, smiling brightly.

Sumin muttered a few profanities underneath her breath. Both Seokjin and Namjoon found her quite adorable as they continued to wait patiently for her answer, ignoring their little rivalry. At least they had that in common…

They want Sumin to be comfortable and remain carefree.

         “Well, father, I rather walk by myself if that is quite alright.” Sumin declared, however, as she took her first step, she nearly tripped if it weren’t for both Namjoon and Seokjin being quick on their toes and catching the clumsy princess.

         “You were saying, Minnie?” Namjoon teased, grinning.

Sumin glared at her “doting” fiancé as he helped her stand up.

         “Just shut up and escort me downstairs. I want to get this night over with.” She said as she interlaced her arm around both Seokjin’s and Namjoon’s.

She walked through the sea of guests, ignoring the judgmental glances and hushed whispers made by the partygoers, especially her parents. Her father became displeased that his daughter was not walking by Namjoon’s side only. Instead, she looked like this harlot stringing these two men along.

That was one image he did not want painted on her daughter…

Now, with her two men by her said, the trio entered the Halloween decorated crystal ballroom. Instead of the chandeliers illuminating the humongous, spacious room, ten candelabras fulfilled their duties. The lowly dimmed room added the eerie atmosphere as smog covered the dancefloor. Victorian music invaded people’s ears as everyone continued to converse and stay in character. A few people drank “blood” from their chalices while others indulged in the sinful desserts that the royal baker had to offer. Then, the rest of the guests danced. The way they moved seemed as if they were in trance. It was truly hypnotic…

         “May I fetch you a drink, princess?” both Namjoon and Seokjin offered, pulling Sumin out of her trance.

Sumin’s eyes focused on Namjoon then switched over to Seokjin. A short groan slowly left her lips and ultimately decided…

         “How about this? I go and fetch my own drink and the two of you just hang around. I’ll come find you when I am done.” She suggested before turning away and leaving the two jealous boys alone. “Seriously…what else could wrong?” She bitterly thought.

Just as she’s about to take another step, she heard the sounds of someone tapping against their glass followed by her father clearing his throat.

Wow. Fate must’ve hated—loathed—her tonight.

         “As you some of you well know, it is an old tradition in my kingdom that we celebrate All Hallows Eve!” The king began, making eye contact with each and every guest from the various of royal families that attended the ball, “But tonight! We celebrate yet another wondrous occasion! Tonight, we celebrate my daughter’s, Princess Sumin, and Prince Namjoon’s upcoming nuptials!” He finished as the guests applauded and cheered.

Sumin, however, did not share the same sentiments. Her jaw nearly dropped to the floor. The air in her lungs suddenly vanished. Poof. Gone. What on Earth possessed her father to make such an announcement. If she remembered their deal correctly, she still had a few months left before she gave up her right—her entitlement—to finding true love on her own.

Okay. She needed to talk to someone immediately. Sumin scanned the ballroom, praying that she’d find either Jae Hwa or Sowon. With luck, she had found Jae Hwa but chose not to bother her. Since she was a mere lady and not a princess, she had to work extra hard to charm not only Prince Taehyung, but his family as well. Alrighty then. Jae Hwa was a flat out “don’t bother her”. Okay. Where’s Sowon?

Then, as if they planned it, Sowon suddenly appeared by her side and began dragging her away from the crowd.

         “You. Me. We need to talk.” Sowon whispered roughly, searching for the perfect hiding spot. Suddenly, a lightbulb went off her head as she stared at the vacant, rather spacious underneath, table.

Sumin noticed this interesting, almost borderline mischievous, gleam in Sowon’s eye and swiftly knew that she was not going to like what would come next.

The carefree queen gently pushed Sumin, helping her crawl underneath the table, before joining her as well.

         “Now. I thought you said your father granted your request and gave you seven months to find a new suitor?” asked Sowon, completely confused with the situation.

Sumin faked a smile, “I thought so too! Now, he did a complete 180 and is telling these people that I am marrying Namjoon on the day when the winter solstice takes place.” She whispered roughly, glaring at her dad as he continues to talk but this time with Namjoon by his side. “He promised to give me time and now, it sounds like I’m ready to head towards the alter! Honestly, it looks like I am not only lying to my people but Seokjin as well.” Sumin added, taking a deep breath.

Sowon frowned and simply nodded, while she put her brilliant mind to work. She’s going to help her soft princess out. Now, the question was how? How would she be able to convince Sumin’s father to give his precious jewel more time?

         “Wait…jewel…” She mumbled to herself as she glanced down at her rather voluptuous body. That was it! Time to use what God gave her!

         “You know what! I’m just going to give up and then stay underneath this table forever!” Sowon tuned back in to Sumin’s ranted, finding it quite amusing that Sumin reverted back to her surrendering ways.

However, Sowon wasn’t going to have any of it.

         “Oh…well…you can do that, and I’ll bring you cheeseburgers once in a while,” She stated, patting Sumin on the head like a pet, “Anyways, let me casually talk to your father okay? Trust me, I will make him shut up for a bit!” She added, winking flirtatiously at the princess.

A look of disgust swiftly appeared on the princess’ face as Sumin eyed Sowon strangely.

         “That sounds like you want to make out with my dad, who I might add is MARRIED to my mom!” Sumin pointed out.

Sowon shrugged, “Hmm maybe…I mean he’s kind of cute for an old man.”

         “SOWON!” Sumin shouted, well sort of, as she felt the urge to vomit.

         “I’m joking. I’m joking,” Sowon tried to calm the grossed-out princess, “Alright. Let me just hypnotize him with my words, then I will install confusion within his mind. That way, he won’t know who to chose for you. Namjoon or Seokjin.” She finished, relaying her idea that only took her only a few minutes to conjure up.

Then, just as Sumin’s about to respond, the girls notice someone taking a seat, right in front of Sowon and if that wasn’t enough, they hear Sumin’s father chatting it up with Namjoon by his side.

Sumin growled out of frustration.

         “What now? Hasn’t my father done enough already? I don’t want Namjoon to get his hopes up…” She stated softly yet harshly.

Sowon hummed in response as she tapped her chin lightly.

         “Ah! I got it! Don’t worry baby, I’ll get rid of dear old daddy dearest.” She claimed as she proceeded to crawl out from underneath table.

Before Sumin could stop her, Sowon placed her hands on the unknown person’s thighs, using them as leverage to help her out from under the table.

         “Oh, hey Jungkook.” She said casually with an alluring smile. She slowly stood up. Her breasts completely in Jungkook’s face, causing the poor boy to fumble his drink and spilling it all over Namjoon’s lap.

The older gentleman gawked, thinking that his friend switched sides even though, in reality, that was not the case.

         “I am so sorry man!” Jungkook quickly apologized while Sowon fixed her disheveled hair and wiped away the smudged lipstick stain from the corner of her lips.

Many bystanders eyed them with either pure disgust or strangely because they had the audacity to perform such a lewd act in public.

Using the distraction to her advantage, Sumin quietly crawled out from underneath the table, only to come face-to-face with a familiar pair of shoes.

         “Having fun there, princess?” asked the person with a teasing tone of voice.

Sumin forced a smile as she grabbed hold of the person’s hand and hoisted herself up, dusting off any dirt.

         “Oh, I am having the time of my life Seokjin.” She answered sarcastically.

Seokjin caught wind of her tone, causing his smirk to become even wider.

         “Ooh… Is the princess being a bit snarky this evening?” He teased some more.

Sumin rolled her eyes, no longer entertaining Seokjin with her words. After all, he did run out on her and left her confused and alone for a month.

Seokjin, on the other hand, wasn’t giving up that easily. This was his first time talking to her without Namjoon preventing him from doing so.

         “Look, can we please talk? I want to explain my actions from last month. I swear to you that me being a complete ass had nothing to do with you.” He pleaded; his tone soft.

Just as Sumin opened her mouth, she saw her father enter the ballroom, smiling and laughing as if he had the time of his life with Sowon.

Oh…

My…

God…

Sowon had better not slept with her dad…

         “Everyone, may I have your attention once more!” The king shouted, gaining everyone’s attention, “It is time for the traditional dance and while yes, it is customary for the princess to dance with her fiancé, it has come to my attention that my ancestors had originally planned for the princess to dance with whomever she deemed worthy of heart, so I would like to continue that custom tonight! So, Sumin, my precious daughter, who would you like to dance with?” Her father asked, finishing his speech.

Every single person, especially the eligible bachelors, looked to the princess, eagerly waiting for the person she would choose.

A faint and long groan left her lips as Sumin began to feel the nerves that always accompanied the unwanted attention.

Now, to add insult to injury, she had to choose between Namjoon and Seokjin. Great.

         “Sweetheart, who would you like to dance with?” asked her father once more, deep down knowing that she’d choose Namjoon.

She looked to the right, meeting Namjoon’s pleading eyes. They practically screamed at her to pick him. Pick the better guy. Pick the one who had always been there for her. Pick the person who’s always ready and willing to catch her.

Then, there was Seokjin, who too had this look that begged for her to pick him. Even though, he had screwed up royally with her, he wanted a second chance. He’s not ready to say goodbye to her. Not now. Not ever. He’s ready to be whatever Sumin wanted him to be. She just needed to say yes…

         “I…um…choose…”

A/N: And here comes the unwanted cliffhanger! So, who do you think Sumin is going to pick? Let me know with your comments! Also, this might be the last chapter I will release for a bit since school is about to enter the third week, and my workload is increasing! Fun, huh? I got to continue working on my group project, type up some summaries, brainstorm a future story that I'm currently working on, and so much more! Sounds like fun, huh?

And, if you are wondering Sowon is based off @softjeon & Jae Hwa is based off @sin-taehyung! These ladies have been nothing but nice to me, with Jey creating these amazing story headers (except for this chapter’s since why ask her to make a specific one when she already has one made with Namjoon and Seokjin looking like that) and with Jasmin creating these breathtaking headers for me and just being this overall sweetie! 

Okay, enough with my sappy appreciation words :) Maybe I will do that for readers who leave amazing comments on my story ^^ I think I will starting next update!

Don’t forget to leave a like/reblog/comment/ask in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

[imaginetwilight]

(Requested by Anon. Not gonna lie, I went overboard with this and this is probably not what you were expecting lmao)  (Part 1 of this imagine here) (Part 2 of this imagine here) (Part 3 of this imagine here) (Part 4 of this imagine here)

It had been a week.

A week since you were trapped in the dungeons. Your body was starting to get slightly weaker, but you wouldn’t budge. Everyday Felix came to see you, trying to get you to drink from a human.

“Y/N?” A nervous Felix asked through the door. He had tried to open the door the second day. You bolted past him and almost escaped until Jane hit you with her power. You didn’t give her the satisfaction of screaming as you fell to the floor.

“Fuck off.” Came the same reply you gave him the last couple of days.

“Y/N… You can’t be mad at me forever. Please? Please just feed. I want to hold you again. I miss you so much…”

Part of you, the part that you had wanted to reject so you could die human, wanted you to accept it. You were thirsty, you craved your mate, and you wanted to get out of this damn cell.

Still, you were pissed about being here against your will. So you weren’t going to forgive him.

It was amazing because throughout your years as a human, you had never felt this amount of rage or anger. It must’ve been a side effect from being a Newborn. Like the increased strength.

“You open the door and I’ll rip something off.” You warned with a snarl.

“Then you give us no choice.”

You looked up to see what Felix meant and saw the door open. You made a move to run, but found yourself deaf, mute, and motionless on the floor. Of course, you knew what this meant.

Fucking Alec.

Alec rolled his eyes as he, Felix, and Chelsea entered the room. “Be sure to make her more respectful to her superiors.” He ordered Chelsea, who nodded once.

“Are you sure she’ll be the same?” Felix frowned as he looked between Chelsea and his motionless mate on the floor. “Except hating me and what we are of course.”

Chelsea nodded and kept her eyes locked on Y/N. “She will love you more than anything.” She assured and started working her magic.

Once she was done, Alec fed her from a blood bag. She was none the wiser since he took away her sense of taste and touch.

You… woke up?

The feeling felt strange to you, like you changed in some way. You felt energized, well rested, and strangely longing for something.

Or someone.

You sat up on the bed and looked around the room, sniffing around and almost letting out a quiet purr at the scent. It smelled like home, like safety, like…

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You turned to the voice and growled, but relaxed when you saw who was there. “Felix…” You smiled and started walking towards him, opening your arms wide.

For some reason, something inside you wanted to shove him away, to reject the hug. You smothered it with the larger, newer feeling of wanting to be with your lover.

“Are you alright, Y/N? How do you feel?” He murmured as he hugged you close, almost like he hadn’t touched you in days.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be? I just missed you.” You smiled sweetly and leaned up to kiss him, watching as his face went from wary to relieved.

While you felt nothing but love for Felix the moment before you kissed, everything changed afterwards.

You watched as Felix plotted with Chelsea, Alec, and Aro about putting you under a heavily ‘drugged’ state, which was basically Alec using his power on you for a long time. Chelsea would go in, change your loyalties and feelings, and you’d wake up a ‘new and improved Y/N.’

Horror filled you, as did dread and doubt. There was no way Felix would do such a thing....

Until you saw it with your own eyes. The final straw?

Alec emptying a bloodbag down your throat while you were unconscious.

You pulled away from the kiss with a new fury in your eyes, which Felix must have taken as passion. He smirked down at you and put his hands on your hips. “Want to break in our bed?” He asked with a suggestive wiggle of the eyebrows.

A snarl ripped through your lips and you grabbed his wrists so you could launch him against the wall. “Don’t you EVER touch me AGAIN!” He didn’t crash into the wall as you hoped he would, but he did break one of the pillars in the bed frame.

“Y/N? What just happened? I don’t under-”

“I saw what you did.” You hissed and stalked towards him, murder in your eyes. “You, Chelsea, and Alec. You SOILED ME! BETRAYED ME!” You clenched your fists and felt something in you snap. All of the loving feelings you had towards Felix? Gone.

There was a knock at the door and instead of waiting, Chelsea came in. “Felix, something is wrong-” Her eyes widened when she caught your glare.

“You’re gonna wanna run, and don’t count on one of the witches to save you.” You warned, sounding deadly serious.

She was gone in a blink of an eye.

“Please, you were being so stubborn…” Felix tried to plead, coming towards you and trying to calm you. However, every inch closer only made you more upset.

“Touch me and you die.” You spat and left the room. You wanted to see the kings, now.

So it seems like when I kiss people, I see their pasts. That could be a very useful bargaining tool… You thought as you entered the throne room.

“Ah if it isn’t our dearest Y/N. I heard that you didn’t take to Chelsea’s… suggestion as much as Felix hoped. It’s a pity, immortality suits you stunningly.” He looked over your form, forcing you to hold back a snarl.

“I don’t like being controlled, that’s why I came to talk to you. I have a… proposition.” You crossed your arms and stared at a now amused Aro.

He raised an eyebrow and stood. “And what might that be?” He started walking down the steps rather slowly, eyes never leaving you. The tension in the room was thick and you knew if you said one thing wrong, you’d be killed.

“I will stay here willingly, let you use my gift as you wish, if I am able to go out and feed on animals. I never want to have to drink a drop of human blood again. And if I’m forced again, I will know.”

There were several hisses, but Aro still just looked amused and now a little interested. “Your gift? What gift could you have that would be of use to us?”

Instead of answering, you pulled him into a kiss. Not the best moment of your life, but if it helped you not drink from humans… you’d have to try.

Aro’s mind made your head hurt as you kissed him. All of his thoughts and memories were sucked into your mind and you pulled away so you could sort them.

That’s when you hit the jackpot.

You grabbed Aro’s hand and looked him dead in the eye.

Let me drink from animals, or I tell Marcus what you did.

Never before had you seen such horrified amazement.

“Marvelous… simply marvelous. The ability to see every thought and memory anyone has ever had in just a kiss. Almost like my gift, except memories tell more than simple thoughts...”

“So, do I have your word?” Do you want to buy my silence?

Aro nodded and patted your hands before dropping them. “Yes. You do. Ah… Felix. Take your lovely mate out to find a… meal.” He hesitated before saying ‘meal.’ “And Y/N, if you do not like it, you still remain here.” He added before sitting down on his throne again.

“Yes sir.” You nodded and turned to leave the room, leaving a stunned and hurt looking Felix. You supposed hearing that his ‘mate’ was going to kiss a bunch of strangers wasn’t on his bucket list.

He wouldn’t have to bear that if he didn’t change you, so he had to live with it.

[god-whispers]

jun 24

if my people

"if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land." 2 chron 7:14

we only need to look around at america (and other countries as well) to see that our lands are in need of healing.  indeed the earth itself is rebelling against the corruption that is being performed in it.

we who love the Lord cry out from our innermost being, "God, send revival to our land".  i received an email just the day before yesterday expressing the apprehension of the violence that might be coming if roe v wade is indeed overturned.  we are not ignorant of the ways and devises of the evil one, but their weapons are all physical ones.

no doubt you have heard the adage, "the pen is mightier than the sword".  i interpret that to mean "the word is mightier than the sword".  Jesus is the Word, the ultimate Word.  we must come against their physical weapons with our spiritual ones.  we fight in the name that is "far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come." eph 1:21

the battle is raging.  the only remaining question is "are we fully equipped?"  i have to say that depends on the individual.  are you prayed up, dressed up, and fed up with what the enemy is dishing out?

God's problem today is not with the lost but with His own people.  many are pointing to the decay of our culture as being the result of the decline of our moral fabric and the influence of the secular, and often downright godless factors all around us.  but i ask again: are you prayed up and repented for the sins of america (or your land)?  are you dressed in the full armor of God?  are you fed up with the lies and distortions the enemy is trying to shove down your throat?

and so God reveals the real issue is not with "them" but with "us".  "why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  or how can you say to your brother, 'let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  hypocrite!  first remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." matt 7:3-5

the body of Christ has to get dressed or we will be found naked and defenseless.  i do not think that is the kind of departure Jesus foresees for those who He comes to rapture.  it will be a glorious, glowing church.  just like it was said that egypt was glad when the children of israel departed, the world will be glad when we depart.  "only he who now restrains will do so until he is taken out of the way." 2 thess 2:7  some say that restrainer is the Holy Spirit but i believe it is the body of Christ.  the Holy Spirit will be here even in the tribulation, saving and guiding those elect who remain.

i know people now days don't don sackcloth and ashes, but we certainly can put them on spiritually.  i think of the marches in our capitol awhile back.  i saw people marching and laying hands on the representations for each state.  when i pray for america, i remind God of the prayers that have been prayed and the hands that have been laid.  i could not join their march physically but the spirit realm knows no bounds.  yes, do what you may in the natural but do what you must in the spirit.

He has said, "and you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart". jer 29:13  if believers would spend as much time seeking His face as they do His hand, we would be well on our way to revival.  every true revival in history has been born and cradled in the place of prayer.

"if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  if we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us."  1 john 1:9-10  we need to get down to the root cause of it all.  and it all begins with the big "me".  don't just grumble and complain about everything.  He will not clean up our country if we don't begin with our self.  "search me, o God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." psa 139:23-24

"the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God?" 1 pet 4:17  another verse i love is: "if you have run with the footmen, and they have wearied you, then how can you contend with horses?  and if in the land of peace, in which you trusted, they wearied you, then how will you do in the floodplain of the Jordan?" jer 12:5

i do not what to weary or waver anyone's faith.  what i say, i say in a spirit of love with an urgency for the hour.  "what I say to you, I say to all: watch!" mark 13;37  be the thorn in the devil's side he has sought to be in ours!

[kirishimahinami]

Fostered Love Chapter 4

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Summary: After talking to her teacher and crush, Fueguchi Hinami decides to take up the extra credit suggestion he had presented. Through it she gets to know :re orphanage and it’s associates - as well as Kirishima Ayato, that from now on shall be her partner in babysitting.

Notes: i first must say, i apologize. not only for the wait, but also for the heartbreak that may come forward soon, hehe.💜 it was a bit hard to decide where to stop but i hope you won’t hate me for that ending, lol. also, i would like to give notice to a fanart i commished for fl, right over here! it’s so gorgeous. please commission nikki, she’s amazing! also chapters are growing to be increasingly longer, lmao. my poor hands may have wrote 1.5 just the last hour and a half. damn. lol.

Chapter Summary:   Ayato and Hinami take the children on a trip to the hospital to meet Hajime. The two of them think one nothing could go too badly. For one it’s right, for the other... it’s not. Meanwhile, Touka gets a surprise visit. (8.2k)

It took a week to convince both Hajime and Touka alike, but somehow Hinami and Ayato reached the miracle they needed and yearned for. Ayato never annoyed his sister as much as he did in the past week, and that in itself was an achievement. Even Ayato would admit he was a prick when he was younger. Though he was much less aggressive than before. It’s progress.

He had to do his best to convince her, promise her he’d be responsible, promise her he won’t let the kids wander off and get lost. She forced him to swear four different times that he’ll make sure all the children will be safe, in different wordings, and that’s after Hinami explained to her how clean the hospital really is, assuring her she and Ayato will not take the kids to anywhere that will put them in risk.

It’s been a while that he’d seen the worrywart side of his sister - unwilling to endanger anything precious to her as she knows what is a loss. When he was younger, she’d worry about the silliest things - about when he had a bit of a fever, barely above the standard temperature, or when she saw him not eating enough, even though she probably force fed him more food than she had ate for an entire week at that time.

In the end of the day, his sister let empathy overtake her much like he did. Hinami had wide, filled with concern eyes and Ayato could almost hear his sister’s heart break as Hinami receded back to dejected, guarded state slowly. The tremble in his sister’s slender fingers were what sealed the deal, as they quickly tightened to a fist. “Fine. As long as you two take care of the kids, I’ll let you.”

Hinami almost immediately hugged Touka, who returned the favor with a soft smile. The palpitations of Touka’s heart was not lost on Hinami, that was pressed closely to her in the embrace. She felt bad, in a way pressuring the kind manager like that. So Hinami did what she could and hugged Touka the way her mother used to hug her, making sure there is no tremor or quake along her body.

Ayato was watching the scene carefully. It seemed like his sister was getting along well with her, that she trusts her. People sometimes tend to be cruel even if unintentionally with their actions. He almost wonders if he was pulling her to the same fate as before, but he dismissed the thought before he could overthink.  

He doesn’t want his sister to get hurt, burnt once again for the mistakes of another. But his sister was right, the girl over here is only a student, asking for help just as they asked hers. If things go off track, he could cut anything in its roots, but for now, these roots might grow to something helpful. He wants to believe that, for his sister. For the orphanage. For himself.

Well, if he will be allowed to let those roots grow. Another week was spent by Hinami trying to convince Hajime it was a good idea. She sent him a lot of messages through it all because of that, updating a few times a day of progress. To him, the kid sounds remarkably brattish from her texts. It’s not that he hadn’t known ungrateful kids, but according to her texts, he already gave her silence treatment and broke things in his room - he was pretty over the top.

Had this kid been the slightest bit older, maybe he would reconsider the entire thing. But he was only eleven, and admittedly, Ayato can’t say he was much nicer at that age. Also, he must be small, being only a preteen. Ayato could probably handle him if he goes haywire. It’ll be okay, he kept thinking to himself.

Being honest, Ayato wasn’t sure how she was going to convince the kid to agree to the idea, but when he had gotten an excited, emoji filled text after a few days, he was surprised and impressed. Despite the kid being stubborn as a bull she somehow managed to weaken his resolve and let them come by.

Ayato sighed before texting a dull ‘okay’ back to her, and shoving his phone to his pants’ pockets. It rang a few more times, probably her complaining about his reaction, but he didn’t bother opening it again. They’ll see each other soon enough at the orphanage - they have to tell the kids themselves after all.

She was certainly happy, but from some reason, Ayato couldn’t help but feel in a somber mood. It’s been a long time since his father left them behind, but the pristine white walls and it’s repelling sterile smell remained strong in his memory. He would walk in there with a confident strut, but his stomach still churned. The day the walked out of the hospital was the day his and Touka’s lives started to fall apart.

He shook his head. That time was one thing; their lives were steady now. As steady as they could be, anyway. It won’t hurt him or anyone to enter a hospital again. Especially not when their volunteer’s father is one of the head doctors. This will probably do them more good than bad, and helping children was what he and Touka did for living, anyway.

He slumped in his walk, a bit lazy in it compared to other days. He felt numb to a degree, but as if he still had to clean his head, get himself away from all the mess of the past. But he had no time already. Soon the kids will already gather around the table back at home, and he knows they will wait for him, saying it’s not dinner otherwise. Touka never let him forget that after he came late that one time without telling her.

Ayato sighed and sped himself up. The orphanage isn’t far away anyway, it’s not like he’d gain so much more time to think anyway. The minute he reached near the house, he could tell there was something going on inside from the the noise the children created.

He entered the door to see Hinami inside, the children crowding her, their eyes shining. She turned around and revealed an ear to ear smile. “The supervising adult is here! Go get him before he’ll change his mind!” She told the kids, who immediately gave out devious smiles and charged towards him.

“WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP!!” Akemi shouted as most of the kids threw themselves on him, causing him to fall down himself and be the base of a very excited children pile. The rest of the kids started saying it happily like a mantra, and Ayato laughed to himself out loud at the entire situation.

Maybe, just maybe - everything will be alright.

She has to hold onto the girls so they won’t scatter around as they passed through the halls of the hospital. They were jittery and excited and they pulled her around, holding onto her skirt or hands, creating a ruckus. She had to quiet them down several times as they basically walked her as if they owned the hospital themselves.

Ayato behind her was laughing, the three boys he handled being a much gentler bunch, walking near him and making sure they were close to him despite their curious eyes wanting to explore much, much more. Hinami wanted to stomp on his foot for making fun of her, but honestly, she’d be laughing too if he was dragged bent to basically half of his height by children.

Finally they reached the pediatric department after a minutes that felt like years for Hinami’s back. She pulled herself away from the girls, straightening and fixing her uniform, smoothing out the wrinkles that were left after the assault the fabric had been through. She didn’t want to look like a mess - everyone on the staff knew her.

“You are done fixing your skirt, brat? We’re waiting for you.” Ayato asked her, teasing, with his stupid shit eating grin. This is exactly why he is still Jerkface in her phone. She was so close to changing it the other day but she regretted it right away when he decided to keep her nickname. Hinami decided to keep his name the same for now, because of it.

She stared at him with dead serious eyes and pursed lips. “Well, I have to fix it, knowing that you are looking.” She talked back to him and watched his expression turning shocked, his mouth gaping. “You boys don’t learn from him, okay?” She told Kyou, Akihiro and Yuki. They seemed confused, but they nodded as Ayato was recovering from her comment.

“You br-”

“Come on, we need to go to Hajime’s room already!” She beamed at them, and skipped away towards one of the only private rooms in this department. It’s not going to be very private right now - eight more people not including doctors are sure to drive Hajime insane, but he promised to act nice after she told him how much she wanted him to meet all of the other kids.

He didn’t particularly liked the idea at first, of course, but it’s not like she expected him to. He was mad that she even returned to the orphanage after what he she told him what happened on her first visit there. But he calmed after she told him how well she was treated later on, at the very least, and although it had taken him a week to agree to them coming over - he did, and even offered her a smile at the same time.

She didn’t care what other people in the hospital said. Even if for the entire world he’s a devil child, unwilling to bend to the reality around him and cold to those around him, for her he was her adorable little brother that she never had. He was good. All he needed was guidance, now that he was thrown so cruelly from the right path, undeservingly so.

It was no wonder he remained so hurt after what happened to him. She barely manage to deal with her mom falling into a coma, she could not imagine how hard it was for him to lose both of his parents, now completely alone in the world. At least, for now. Hinami wanted to make his world more broad, let him see happier pictures than this sad, somber room. She can’t do it on her own - but maybe the kids will help him see a different view to this life.

She opened the door to his room, and he was sitting there on the bed, a book she gave him in his hands. Those hands fall to his lap then as he notices her, and even though it’s just for a second, she can see his eyes crinkle slightly. It disappears as soon as Ayato and the kids walk through the door as well. He lifts his book and hides.

Hinami sighs, but she knows he can’t help it. It could have been much worse, anyway. She walks right next to him, taking the leading steps as the kids and Ayato follow behind her. “Do you like the book, Hajime?” She asks him mundanely, looking at him with knowing eyes as he tries to hide behind his book, obviously not reading.

“...Yes.” Hajime answers shortly, trying to avoid her eyes. She squinted her own eyes at him.

“Then you wouldn’t mind reading it later with the rest here, right? I’m sure they’ll love it too. You are good at reading too! I think it’ll be nice, don’t you think?” She suggests and he averts his eyes to the side again. She knows it’s annoying to him, but at the same time, Hajime had blush dusting his cheeks. He liked being acknowledged, after all.

He put the book away, near him on the bed. “Whatever, maybe later.” He said as he leaned back on his pillow. Hajime looked at Ayato and the children, scanning them with squinted eyes. He was a bit hesitant to even say anything. He doesn’t really understand why Hinami insisted on all of this, or why did he even agree. He had no idea what to say.

“Do you have to have this thing attached to your arm? It looks painful.” Akemi asked, climbing on the stool and sitting on it as she pointed at his IV drip. He was caught off guard, and looked at Hinami, who was nodding at him, probably to explain to her.  He swallowed as the rest of the group came closer to his bed as well.

“Yes. For pain medication and so I won’t get dehydrated. Or that’s what they tell me, at least.” He answered dryly. His IV drip sometimes felt more like a chain of a prisoner, but it doesn’t matter much to them. They wouldn’t care about it anyway.

He was taken aback when the girl took his hand, bringing closer to her. The others were looking at it curiously, examining it. He pulled it back in a shriek. “What are you doing?!” He asked, terrified. She just tilted her head.

“Oh. We brought lego. I wanted to see if your hand is okay.” She answered easily. Hajime raised his brow, but furthered himself away for them. He didn’t like to be touched so easily. Hinami was fine, she did it for him, she hurt with him. But other people touch his hand a lie, take his hand and put him in this hellhole that this hospital. It only hurts in the end.

“Come on! Your name is Hajime-kun, right? I’m Akemi. The girls behind me are Miyu and Momo. The boys are Akihiro, Kyou and Yuki. And this is my nii-chan Ayato!” She pointed to each one of them. Does she think it’s this easy, just telling someone your name and everyone will get along? It’s not easy. He’s never been one to socialize well, but he didn’t appreciate the sudden invasion to his personal space more so as the others came closer. And did she just call him by his given name?

“...Why are you acting so familiar with me?” He replied with a scowl. All of the people in this hospital liked to act as if they knew him so well. He didn’t expect the same damn attitude from kids, a few even looking a bit younger than him. Maybe their smiles weren’t as fake as the adults, but it didn’t matter. In the end they were here because Hinami made them be here - no because they wanted to. He may have trusted her, but not anyone else. There’s always something.

The girl looking at him looked a bit at loss. “What do you mean? We are just talking.” She said, and he gritted his teeth. It also wasn’t lost on him how the so called nii-chan was coming to the front now, his eyes squinted like that at him, watching over. He could hear Hinami sigh. It made his blood boil. They were crossing boundaries and she sighs as she looks at him.

She really does prefer them, doesn’t she.

“Hajime, Akemi-chan is regular speaking like this to other kids from the orphanage…” Hinami pitched in, and his scowl turned to grimace. But is that any excuse, really? And what about the hand thing? Is that excusable too? When his parents were alive, he wasn’t even allowed to make one mistake - even his teeth had been straightened the minute they could fix them. He always had to be perfect.

It was always expected of him - like Hinami told him it was expected of her. So she should understand why he hated it. People that couldn’t care less about them acting so familiar… It just pissed him off. As if that Kamishiro lady on the back of his neck wasn’t enough of a snake trying to fool him into giving away all the money he inherited for a goddamn lung, yapping all the time about how she’d adopt him had she not been so ‘frail’, or about how he would be such a handsome son.

He really didn’t need another group of people doing all of this bullshit act. Even if it was just because Hinami roped them into it.

“Hajime-kun…” Akemi tried to mumble

“Ha-zu-ki-kun.” He corrected, lengthening each syllable. The other kids looked tense as she looked at him with wide eyes. And then they fell into a squint of their own.

“Hajime-kun, I’m familiar with you because I want to be your friend.” She talked back, with a certain edge lacing her voice and causing him to lean away. “Because Hina-chan told us you are nice, and we wanted to come over and talk to you.” She said, leaning in towards him with a frown still, making sure what she was trying to say was clear.

He was about to say something back, but the safety rails of his bed rattled as a hand fell on them. Ayato decided to intervene. “Listen, brat. I know you don’t like this too much. But don’t make your sister a liar, because god knows how much she vouched for you in the last two weeks.” He ended it there.

Don’t make your sister a liar. The bed may have rattled before, but the words themselves echoed in Hajime mind, shaking him up more. He never called Hinami a sister before, but if that’s what it seemed to them they are like, he could only guess she really did talk about him a lot. Like a family member.

He doesn’t understand why she is trying himself sometimes. For everyone in this place he was a lost cause, behavior wise. Only Hinami believed in him, anyway. Only she looked at him with eyes full of hope instead of that same disdain he sees on the doctors faces each and every day passing, weary and tired and of dealing with the same problem child.

Hajime looks at her, and she has a faint, sympathetic smile on. She didn’t like how the situation turned to be. he could tell from how her hands nervously grabbed each other, how close she was to bowing down and apologizing. He didn’t want to make her feel bad, or uncomfortable - it’s the only reason why he agreed to this anyway. He got everything backwards, he realized.

“...Hinami isn’t a liar.” He nearly growls back. He can’t help the anger that resides within him, but he suppresses it. The suggestion itself is maddening to him - she was the only one that had been kind enough to tell him the truth when needed.

Ayato remained unimpressed. An angry, brooding kid wasn’t something he was scared of, no matter how much the preteen tried to intimidate him. “Then you better act like a good kid and make her proud instead.” He tells him, and silence falls on the room. Hajime bites his lips, and Ayato holds his smirk. He certainly won that battle, but being all snarky about it will only piss the kid off.

“...Fine. I’m sorry.” He grits between his teeth. The other children either cheer or break into giggles. Hajime couldn’t tell what happened to the tense atmosphere that dissipated within mere seconds. He was certain that they were all mad. He expression must’ve said it all, because it didn’t take much time for anyone to address it.

“I thought you will take more convincing than that, honestly.” Ayato told him snickering and patting his head, his dark locks messed up more than they had been before. Hajime snapped his head away frowning. The guy was lecturing him just a minute ago! “You really are a good kid.” He adds, and Hajime shuffles away towards Hinami’s side. He doesn’t understand these people.

“You must really adore Hina-chan!” Akemi added in quickly. He contemplated pushing her back to the hospital’s floor. She was seriously annoying - obviously he does. Over the past year he had stayed at this shitty place, she only did well by him, never expecting anything in return. It’s obvious that he would hold her in high regard. And well… that girl doesn’t have to be that obnoxious and straightforward about it.

He scowled again, averting her eyes from the annoying girl. One of the boys in the groups decided it was a good time to interfere. “So… Do you wanna build something?” The boy - Kyou, Hajime remembered - asked as he laid down a box of legos on his bed.

Hajime looked around him. All of the eyes in the room were on him, waiting for him to answer.

“...I guess it works…” He says, and now everyone are much, much more cheery. Hinami pulled down the safety rails so the other children could get closer comfortably. She was smiling. He supposed it wasn’t that bad.

It was empty and quiet today in the orphanage. Touka didn’t like it much. It felt lonely without all the children here with her. To Touka, it was almost absurd to think there would be an actual day without hearing the children whine her name in the request for a hot choco, or to tuck them to bed.

The entire place seemed deserted, only her left behind. It was nearly depressing, but she had to shut down her mind - the kids will be back when the sun will be down, and it’s good for them to go see the hospital. It posed them a possibility to learn if the staff was kind enough, and will allow them to grow more grateful for their good health.

Hinami was also such a good kid. Touka didn’t want disappoint her and tell her she couldn’t take the kids on that small trip. She was so happy thinking about it, Touka didn’t want to ruin it. She can’t really tell what it is, but sometimes, she could see the younger girl let her guard down - and her saddened expression always made Touka’s heart ache.

In the end, it all came down to the fact that Touka was incredibly stressed today as it is. Her gut feeling simply told her something was not right today. The kids would have been wonderful distraction had they been here, but they are not. Nobody was here today but her, and the uncomfortable feeling due to it made her nauseous.

She chalked it all up to her being irrational - she was when the idea to take the kids out was just suggest, it was no wonder it continued when they were on the trip itself. She figured it’ll leave only when she sees they’re back home, Ayato right after them, and maybe even Hinami in tow, dropping by to say hello.

Touka should have known her gut feeling never lies to her. She should’ve stayed inside, she should’ve took a nap, she should’ve gone and hung out with Yoriko or Nishiki the entire day. She shouldn’t have gone outside to take care of the plants out of boredom, she shouldn’t have took her time.

She shouldn’t have seen Kaneki Ken standing near the open gate, his shoulders slumped and his hands in his pockets as he waits for her to notice him. Her heart pounded painfully against her chest as a surge of conflicting emotions hit her right on. On one hand, she wanted to punch his stupid, adoring expression off of his face - he has no right to look at her so adoringly after everything.

On the other hand.. She just wanted to bolt, leave this spot before he makes her melt once again. She grew so strong since she first met him, with his baby face that didn’t suit a fourteen year old at all. She was a stubborn kid with a knack for being rowdy, but even then it didn’t take long until she grew a soft spot for him. It was so easy for him to affect her.

She sincerely doubted it was mutual.

“Touka-chan.” He says, the same way when he used to when he sat near her at her old house after studying with her father, calling her as he promised to do when tutoring time was over. She was afraid this was going to happen, when one day out of nowhere he called her phone ( she should have changed the damned phone number, why did she ever think it was a good idea to insist on keeping it? ) after seven years of not speaking to her, informing her he was now a teacher in Tokyo, that he wanted to talk to her again.

She knew he was around Tokyo. She saw him around, back when Ayato was looking for colleges to apply to. It was around a year back, and she saw him near Kamii where he stood in front of a bunch of kids in uniforms, probably third years in high school looking for colleges themselves. He was probably talking them up about entering Kamii, as she heard from Hinami he’s been there himself.

That day she kept herself holed up in her room. Ayato took care of everything she had to do as she found herself curled up in her bed, trying to handle seeing a man that had gone missing years back carrying on with his life with seemingly no problem at all.

“What are you doing here?” She asked sharply, not looking at him. Despite her need to push him away, out from her life once again, she knew it was better to handle him now. She breathed in and out slowly. It’d make sense they’d see each other, right? His student is helping out here. It’s the only reason he’s here. Nothing else.

“Hinami told me she and Ayato will go to the hospital today with the kids. I.. I wanted to see you again. To talk.” He says. Touka could feel her heart throbbing. Why does he have to play on her heartstrings like this? She was not the one that left. For seven years she had been by herself taking care of her brother and rebuilding her life after everything shattered, and he’s here acting as if nothing happened at all.

Touka had kept avoiding his invitations to go out around together for a reason. It was maddening how much she and her brother had to suffer as orphans to survive, and he, who they considered family at the time, couldn’t even pick up his damned phone as their father was getting thinner and thinner every day. They called him, they called his aunt, they called everywhere they could think in order to find him.

They never got even one call back. It annoys her, to think about those days now. She remembers waiting everyday near her uncle’s phone, sniffing as the sun set and Yomo dragged her back to her futon, a frown plastered on his face as she struggled in his grip. She remembers Ayato looking at her from far away with his scowl, clearly already thinking she’s insane for believing in who he now called  bastard.

He really was. Her father, loving and caring asked everyday how Kaneki was. Touka can’t forgive him for letting her remain without an answer until he died.

As much as Touka wanted to curse at him, she knew better than it - his student was helping around here, and she needed her around. He knew from her constant ‘I can’t meet, I have to take after the kids’ that she was in need of staff, even if admittedly sometimes she just used it as an excuse. Nonetheless, she would have to talk to him in the future for Hinami.

That could be settled on phones though. “I’m busy. Sorry.”  Touka said and headed towards the door quickly. She’d shut the door on him if she needs to. She already proved herself she doesn’t need him. He doesn’t even look like himself, with his stupid white hair dyed so poorly. The roots were starting to show. She wasn’t impressed, if that’s what he was going for.

She felt a hand on her forearm. Her head snapped back and he was staring at her, pleading with his big, grey eyes that grew more and more sorrowful as he kept his gaze. She almost felt bad, but she shook her head and shrugged it off. “What are you doing?!”

“Touka, please I need yo-”

“We needed you too back then.” She shoved him away, entering the orphanage and locking the door behind her.

She can’t trust him.

Ayato was pleasantly surprised from how things worked out at the hospital. Although there was a lot of banter between the children, and the fact he had to stop a fight from occurring when Akemi tried to touch Hajime’s teeth ( “They are abnormally straight!” “My parents were dentists!” ), it seemed like the children mostly get along with the brat.

He wasn’t the friendliest but he worked with them. He really did try his hardest after the quarrel earlier today. He even made a lego forte for Kyou after he had to break it to him he couldn’t build a tower on his hospital bed. And he didn’t even stop when Hinami left the room, so Ayato could really see he’s attempting to be nice.

“Where did she go?” Miyu asked Ayato, her eyes still glued to the door Hinami had shut behind her. To tell the truth, Ayato didn’t really know - Hinami just rushed out as a bespectacled doctor entered the room. He said he just wanted to reaffirm she’s here, but left with no other words necessary. Hinami then excused herself, saying she had remembered something important. Looking at the hour, she even bid her goodbyes early, as she knew they were about to leave.

Ayato gave back an unsure, prolonged ‘uh’. Miyu just seemed confused, and the tiniest bit upset. Well, she was one of the kids that grew attached to Hinami more. He wore an uncomfortable expression on his face, teeth tightened as they were on display and brows up. He didn’t like disappointing the kids, but it’s not like he could pull an Hinami radar out of his ass.

“She went to see her mom.” Hajime intervened, not tearing his eyes away from the lego forte he made earlier, only adding more to it with Kyou. “The doctor with the glasses was her dad. This day, every week, he treats her himself. Hinami always prefers to visit her after.” He explained. The other kids gave a short ‘ah’ as Ayato grew curious. Her mother was a patient the hospital? She said her dad works here, and that she occasionally helps out too, but  nothing about her mom. At least not to him.

Akemi nodded just like all the other children, but plopped her upper body on the hospital bed, only to lift her hands to support her head. “Hajime-kun, how did you meet Hina-chan?” She asked. Hajime flushed red. It made a good contrast against his dark, blue tinted hair. Ayato was a bit intrigued too.

“Why does that matter?” He asked evasively, ignoring her question.

“Because you are sort of mean but you try not to be for her.” She answered back frankly, and he almost croaked, and had to cough for a bit to fix his barely teenage breaking voice. Ayato would’ve laughed, but he didn’t want to stop their banter. Too funny, and possibly could lead to interesting things. “You try to act cuter or something? I think?”

“Shut up!” Hajime nearly screeched. “You think wrong!” He said, now coughing some more.  Ayato was almost concerned. Hinami told him Hajime has a punctured lung, and it was not functioning well. He must be in pain if he’s coughing.

“So tell me how you met!” Akemi pressed a bit more.

“Fine!” He said back, and wiped his mouth with his arm. “Fine, I’ll tell you. Just shut up.”

Akemi looked at him, anticipating. The rest of the kids did too, and Ayato made sure to keep an ear open for the story.

“I met her at the hospital, the day I got into the accident.” He started.

He woke up to an unknown room. An unknown room, and a bunch of people in white uniforms hovering above him. He could barely find it in himself to talk to them - what happened? He doesn’t understand. What are they doing? He didn’t manage to focus on their voices. The beating of his heart was so strong he felt as he could feel the pounding in his ears.

They didn’t even notice he was awake from how weak he was, submissive as they worked on him. He could feel needles stab his body - he hated it, he hated it so much, even when his parents operated on his mouth he hated it! Where are they? They need to make this stop! He managed out a strong enough yelp, so they realize he’s awake.

“Hajime-kun, you are in the hospital, do you remember what happened?” They asked him. He tried to think. Tried so hard. His head was in shambles at the moment, everything just hurt. If it’s a hospital, aren’t they supposed to make this better? He needs painkillers. His dad and mom would never let it happen in their clinic.

He only remembered small glimpses of it all. He remembered him and his parents being in a slippery road. His father drove a bit fast, and he remembered his mother giggling saying that he should slow down. Then he remembers a family van in front of them. He remembers he saw Shio Ihei in it. A kid from his neighborhood. His family was the slightest bit richer than his.

All he remembers from thereon out, was the sound of a big boom, before all his memories faded to black. Hajime suddenly realized what was going on. Tears of distress started falling from his eyes as he kept flailing, trying to see where his parents are. He couldn’t see them anywhere, and he turned even whiter than the wall.

“Hazuki-kun, you are stabilized, but you need to rest! you’ll open your wound if you do this, please calm down!” One of the nurses said. He didn’t want to calm down. He was all alone here, and everything hurt, and he can’t see his parents! He screeched, pushing the staff away from him.

“Where are mom-- and dad?!” He was so choked up but he managed to say it somehow. They tried to set him an IV drip, but he couldn’t care less for that at the moment. He kicked at the hands pressing him down. “W-where?!”

“Ah… You mom and dad are at the ER, they’re being treated right now. It’s okay… They’ll get out, rest, and you all will go home.” The doctor in front of him tells him, but the smile he wears doesn’t reach his eyes, and Hajime only grows more worried. He stops flailing and just cries harder, trembling as the tears fall down his cheeks.

He ignored the world as they put the IV drip on him, and gave him all the painkillers he needed. He needed them, but his pain didn’t leave, only replaced by his emotions that overflew him within seconds. It was as if his whimpers went unnoticed by the entire staff, as if they couldn’t find it in themselves to care. How did he find himself in a room full of people, feeling so lonely? Their indifference made him feel as if he’s a lost cause.

He’d rather just die like this.

Soon, they all started to leave as they finished treating him. The room grew quieter by the moment, and it was maddening. Before the doctor left he told him somebody would come by later to tell him how his parents are doing and watch if he needs extra care. Where is that person? He needs someone here. He can’t breathe, something feels wrong when he does, not enough air. He can’t relax like this - he’s going crazy.

The door to his room opened in a haste, and a girl in a uniform entered the room. What is this person doing here? She’s not a doctor. Is she even allowed to be here? At his state there is hardly any reason for them to allow visitors, much less strangers into his room. But she still perked up as she saw him, from some odd reason. She comes closer, sitting next to his bed on a stool that was brought there earlier.

“How are you feeling?” She asks him. He frowns. Obviously he’s been feeling like crap - he has a punctured lung, and they said he had a concussion earlier. His head took a few tough blows, apparently, and he guessed that’s why he heard the nurse say he’s not alright in the head. He doesn’t really understand them, but he guessed it didn’t matter as he had been on painkillers already, even if it didn’t stop the burn he feels when he tries to breathe.

“Bad.” He doesn’t waste his breath. Hajime’s body feels so weak, but he is forced into moving as he coughs. Coughing hurts. His body is trying to kill him and he could see a few drops of blood on his hand. The doctors warned him about it. Told him to be careful if he starts coughing blood. Tears that rose to his eyes again, now from discomfort, fell. “I-I… want mom and dad.”

The girl in front of him holds her her breath watching him. “Your mom and dad are still in the ER… Their surgeries take much longer, I’m sorry. If I could let you see them sooner, I would... I’m Hinami Fueguchi, I’m the daughter of one of the doctors in this hospital. How about I’ll stay with you until your mom and dad will be able to come?” She smiled sympathetically at him.

He wanted to scream. Will they be able to come at all? How long has he been here by himself? How long can a surgery take? Does this girl even understand what he feels like at the moment? “Do you even know how it is like to wait?” He gritted through his teeth.

Hajime just threw that sentence at her because he was angry. He didn’t really expect the flinch it earned from her, or the way her head fell to look at the floor. “Yes. It’s why they sent me here, Hazuki-kun.” She answered. “I’ve been waiting for my own mother for a bit, already.”

He feels a bit guilty, bringing up the topic, but more than that, he feels at loss. What is quite a bit? Is it a long time? Would he have to wait for them for that long too? He wants back to their arms. Even if it means the scolding when he eats too much sweets, or their perfectionism when it comes to how he should be like. Hajime wails.

She takes his hand in hers. Her hold is tight, and the warmness of her hand is somehow comforting enough that he can reduce his cries to sniffles. As if she took his pain into her, her eyes become glassy too. “Would you let me wait with you?” She asks again, her voice the slightest bit strained.

He holds her hand back. He doesn’t know her. She’s a stranger. But right now, he’s in a strange place, and he doesn’t want to be alone. “Yes.”

He falls asleep not long after.

When morning comes, Hinami is still there on the stool next to his bed, and holding his hand.

It’s seven o’clock and Hinami found herself lingering near her mother’s bed silently. She knew for a fact Ayato and the children left already - she actually heard them passing by, or more correctly, making a ruckus in the hospital around half an hour ago. Banjou came by to tell her how funny it was to see a young adult dragging away three children from Hajime’s room, yelling at them it’s time to go home.

Hinami smiled to herself at the thought. It really was a good idea to bring the kids over here. She could imagine Hajime’s face - probably embarrassed, telling them to leave already. She barely saw him with a smile these days, but she couldn’t help but imagine him with one for this scenario. Hinami already saw glimpses of enjoyment in his eyes as he played today. He may have stayed in bed as always, but she knew this could be a start of a welcomed change, should this become a regular occurence.

She felt pride surge through her. Hinami was glad she could help Hajime, even if it was just by bringing over people he could talk to. If only it was possible with her mother… Hinami sighed. Her mother’s serene features were just the same as she was healthy and lively, but the way her body remained in fixed position, not even a lift of a finger, made her look more like a wax doll rather than her mom.

The heart monitor was the only comfort she was provided with - Hinami liked to imagine that sometimes when it moves and shows the lines that go up and down, it was actually her mother answering her. It may have been the machine, but that idea helped her cope better with the coma. At least the heart monitor answers, even if it’s just an annoying ‘beep’ to anyone else.

Right now, speaking to her mom seemed like a good idea - she had two tiring weeks where she didn’t get to really be with her mother, and it was a source of comfort she very much needed these days. Hinami sat near Ryouko’s bed. She longingly eyed her hand, but unlike Hajime, she knows Ryouko will not hold her hand back. Her hands stay on her knees.

“Hey, Okaa-san.” She greets, a bit hesitantly. She talked to her mother like this before, but the unnatural feeling of it all never goes away. It’s awkward while it’s happening, but she decides it’s worth it as she usually feels better afterwards. “I got my Biology test yesterday. You know, the one I thought I failed? Well, I got full marks.” She told her, sparing a look at the heart monitor, that showed the lines rising high.

Hinami wonders if it meant her mom was happy. “Sorry I didn’t came by ever since I told you..  I just had two tough weeks. But everything is getting better lately, too. Do you remember Hajime kun? That kid I told you we have to adopt when you wake up?” She giggled as she said it. Hajime only calls her Hinami, but she sees him as a little brother. And he didn’t seem to dislike the idea when Ayato called her his sister.

“I convinced him to meet a few of the children I’m seeing at the orphanage today. I think he had fun, Okaa-san. I’m so happy for him… And also, I get along pretty well now with the people in the orphanage. I don’t think Kirishima-kun hates me anymore. Though I’m not sure why he did in the first place.” She kept talking. The lines on the heart monitor rose a little less than before, and Hinami decided it meant ‘go on.’

“Kirishima-san, though, well - I mean his sister, is really nice to me. Maybe she feels kind of bad after what happened with her brother. But it’s fine, everything else is going smoothly.” Another small, short jump on the heart monitor. “Chiasa and Kanna as usual are over the top.. But they’ve been really supportive lately. They took me to an ice cream shop because I was sad. That day ended up being a nice day.” Another short, slow line appears.

“So… Everything is really getting better Okaa-san. I’m really happier lately. Even if Otou-san is not around as much anymore..” Hinami said. The room grew quiet. Hinami looked at the heart monitor, and saw a flat line.

Her heart dropped. “O-Okaa-san? Okaa-san!” Her first response was to reach for her mother, shaking her by her shoulder. Soon enough Hinami realized it’s not going to help - she’s wasting time. Her mother is in danger and she’s wasting time. Hinami ran out of the room, screaming for the nurses outside.

This cannot be happening. The heart monitor isn’t moving at all, it’s been three minutes, why does it not move, why won’t her mother answer?  “Somebody! Please help!” She yells through the hall. On any other circumstance she wouldn’t yell, it’s not allowed, but right now, screw the hospital and its rules.

A couple of nurses she knows rush to her, entering the room. Hinami feels relief showering over her. They could help, they’ll call the doctors. It’s going to be alright, like every emergency case she has ever saw occur. Right?

But the nurses, they don’t move. They are watching her mom withering away, doing nothing. Looking at Hinami with pity reflecting in their eyes and whispering between themselves. Hinami feels the rage welling up inside her. “What the hell are you doing?! Help her! Please!” She screams at them, and they both flinch. But they don’t move.

“Why are you just standing there?!” Hinami, at this point was crying. She could swear she could see her mother’s skin turning into a white, dreadful shade. Hinami’s heart was about to pound out of her chest - if only she could have given those beats to her mother to have.

One of the nurses finally decided to open her mouth. “Hinami-chan, we’re not allowed to-”

“What do you mean, not allowed to?!” She didn’t need to hear the rest. She knows already what they’re about to say. Since when did the hospital decide to give up on her mother? Does her father know about this? There is no way he would agree to this! He threatened to leave the hospital back when she just fell into the coma!

“We were told that her condition is not redeemable, Hinami-chan… She just gets worse… We were told to not do anything, should this happen…” They were told to let her die.

“By who?!” She screams at the top of her lungs.

“By me.” Hinami hears a masculine voice to her left, and her head snaps towards it, right away. Her lips tremble. A man with a white robe and thin, sharply designed eyewear enters the room. Her father enters the room.

He doesn’t spare even one glance at his dying wife.

Hinami wants to fall to the ground, scream, shout and throw a tantrum. She wants to go to her father and tell him he’s an asshole and that she doesn’t want to see him ever again, and she wants to go to her poor mother, and cover her ears as he says he doesn’t want to keep her between the living anymore, knowing that Ryouko could not do it herself. She wanted so much - but her hands feel so tied.

“She’s not going to wake up, Hinami. Stop your tantrum, it’s a hospital. People are sleeping in the rooms nearby.” She can’t believe what she’s hearing. She can barely bring herself to weep. Hinami is frozen in spot as her eyes widen at him. How can he be so calm about this?

Hinami drags her feet to her father, tears still falling down her cheeks, her sniffles sound as pitiful as she is at the moment. “O-Otou-san, please, you are doctor, you can save her! You can save Okaa-san, please!” The fact she even has to beg her father to save her mom was ridiculous to her. Disgustingly ridiculous.

“No.” He says. Hinami whimpers louder, holding onto his white uniform robe. Instead of sadness, anger surges, and she looks up to him, glaring. “It’s your job! What kind of doctor are you when you can’t even help your own family!” She pushes him away she yells, only to lung at him again. Her hands are in small fists, and she hits him across his chest.

“I hate you! I hate you so much! I know you wouldn’t do anything for me, but I didn’t think you’d be that horrible to leave her behind too!” She keeps yelling. The world around her doesn’t matter, all of these rooms are the same anyway. All of these people are the same. Hypocrites. Her mother is gone and it’s because they chose not to save her.

“Hinami-” Her father starts again, holding onto her arm but she cuts him off, pushing it away.

“Don’t touch me.” She growls at him, her voice bitter and strained.

She already knows that he won’t listen to her. That he won’t save her mother. Staying in this humiliating position where even her dad won’t listen to her as people watch them was not something she could bear anymore. She cannot bring herself to look back, Hinami is scared to see what’s lying on the bed behind her.

Not waiting a second longer, she takes off - running away from the room, still crying. And she’s not surprised when she looks back and sees her father is not on her tails.

[k-chapman]

Chapter 6 - The Soap

The flames burn in my belly, the vapour rising. These vapours are some subtle parts of the terrestrial humour, which has neither heat nor determined form; some vapours have heat and humidity; others heat and dryness. [1] The nature and power of heat is to penetrate, dissolve, break up, to remove and absorb moisture; that of cold is to compress, tighten, harden, and solidify. [2] I feel trapped between the worlds.

I am in a constant state of inhaling and exhaling, like an engine. I suck through my openings the city air, the stench of blood, exhaust fumes and cow shit, the song of the birds, the perfume of the flowers, the smiles of children, the light of the sun, the sighings of the breeze, the rays of stars, all creation. [3] I exhale a pure smoke, mixing of all senses, godly vapours float to the heavens. Analysis descends to the cloud, to chaos, to the limit, to whiteness. [4] And the death that ravishes the light from my eyes returns all its purity to the day it was soiling. [5]

My little fellow is busying himself with his foreign alchemy. But what beautiful products he concocts. I hardly understand the science he conducts in my cavities. I do not care to, for I am still soaring. It will be perfumed with other incense than the infectious stuff which is imported by the smugglers of adulterated metaphysics. [6] He is a busy little bee. Collecting in me, showing me much of life, and I in turn allow him his games. Give to every man therefore his duty: tribute to whom tribute belongeth; custom to whom custom is due; fear to whom fear belongeth; honour to whom honour pertaineth. [7] You can find no souls, or very few, which as they grow old do not stink of rankness and of rot. [8] But my little fellow seems different.

I cannot stand, however the essence, the weight of the sleepy useless heap next to my heart. The result [of] a bloated imagination, sickly judgment, and disgust towards all the real businesses of life. [9]

Each time it is the same ritual. He gathers in me the ingredients, having found them, [he] shines with a wonderful brilliance as if totally prepared for them; and [we are] filled with an incomparable joy as if [we] were as close to them as possible. [10]

The ash, from a gift, an offering. My servant is a clever little one, for just as [I] foresees what you are going to do, so he foresees that you are going to do it voluntarily and freely. [11] Because that is all that is left for you to do, so why should we not reap your sad fruits. To us they have the flavour of the sweetest.

The tallow, the slowly grown innocence, pure nourishment, the reserve, the structure, the beast’s little piggy bank, saved for a rainy day. Saved for the morning after a day of sinning that never comes to the beast, thus it remains pure. Fed by my lush garden, fat and heavy these heifers are.

The stock, whether it is that this liquid is the sweat of the heavens, or whether a saliva emanating from the stars, or a juice exuding from the air while purifying itself, would that it had been, when it comes to us, pure, limpid, and genuine, as it was, when first it took its downward descent [12] dripping from my stony Adam’s apple.

These three rarities combined in my hollows, congeal through time to a matter in between all three components. A binding agent. An active matter, a pureness capable of cleansing, infused in cream, to curds coagulates the liquid stream, sudden the fluids fix the parts combined; such, and so soon, the ethereal texture join'd. [ ] Whereas Chronos was inseparable from the bodies which filled it out entirely as causes and matter, Aion is populated by effects which haunt it without ever filling it up. [13]

The process concluded, the interloper thrown from my abode with pleasure, woken from his fever dream. I watch as my little one gives him his gift. A parting present to be rid of the intruder. Above us the clouds already gather, and the cold begins to creep through my solids as I start to shrink and deaden but never die. My dear servant makes ready to finish his process, to return to the start…

I make my way to the roof. The congealed essences in hand. The contraction has already begun, I feel the abode and space shrinking around me. Upon me the filth of the night’s dealings. The vapour of the embers, the blood of the slaughter, the sins of man, his sweat from the pale, the shit on my feet but it is no spot but a universal stain which soils me. [14] In order that all impurity may be the more detestable, [I] enumerates two species of unnatural lust, from whence it is evident that when men indulge themselves in this respect, they are carried away by an impulse, which is more than beastly, to defile themselves by shameful wickedness. [15]

That is why I need soap. To cleanse and purify; to appoint a thing unto holy uses, and to separate from unclean and unholy uses. [16] As for cleaning out, —that function was entrusted to the pouring rains which encumbered rather than swept away. [17] which gather now in the sky, angry as God must be at my midnight exploitations.

I reach the roof open to the heavens, I dance on my master’s wrinkling head as the dark clouds gather above. I strip my soiled garments. Open city, open body. Men may be taught by fables; children require the naked truth. [18] The most loyal and tender, or intense, love assigns subject of enunciation and a subject of the statement that constantly switch places, wrapped in the sweetness of being [ ] naked. [19]

The downpour begins and if it's raining that can only mean [we’ve] been bad children. Why? Because raindrops are the tears of Christ. And if Jesus is crying, that can only mean [we’ve] made him angry. [20] How that makes me happy, wasn’t it the Bible that prescribed an eye for an eye. Well now, we’re both crying. The tears steaming slightly as they hit the roof. The marly stratum crosses the torrent; and, as the water washes out metallic grains, the people imagine, on account of the brilliancy of the pyrites, that the torrent bears down gold. [21] The lather I scrub on my body froths and bubbles off myself onto my abode and into the streets of Vienna. I feel the filth slowly dissolve leaving fresh skin beneath. The cold of the wind pulling my skin tight. I feel my spirit rise with the inhale’s essences. The cool tears splash around me as I dance my rain dance. Precious rain: Because the issue of this seed was the birth of Perseus, but also because it symbolizes a first cause for poetry. [22]

[1] Williams, Daniele Barbaros Vitruvius of 1567

[2] Alberti, On the Art of Building in Ten Books 1988

[3] Hugo, Les Miserables

[4] Serres, Rome

[5] Serres, Statues

[6] Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

[7] Tyndale, Doctrinal Treatises

[8] de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

[9] Jefferson, Political Writings

[10] Ficino, Platonic Theology Volume 3 Books IX XI

[11] Ficino, Platonic Theology Volume 1 Books I IV

[12] Pliny, Natural History Volume 3

[13] Deleuze, The Logic of Sense

[14] de Montaigne, The Complete Essays

[15] Calvin, Harmony of the Law Vol 3

[16] Tyndale, Doctrinal Treatises

[17] Hugo, Les Miserables

[18] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[19] Deleuze Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus

[20] The Young Pope

[21] Humboldt, Equinoctial Regions of America

[22] Petrarch, The Canzoniere

[chosenmindset]

ChosenMindset - The Passion Of The Flame Inside Of Me - by Vlad G

1.Good heart living in toxic parts

2.Emotions caused by fear

3.Hell’s cycle

4.Depression killed the kid

5.Mentality of a lion

6. Inner piece of a lion

7.A message for your mindset

Good heart living in toxic parts

The inner rage of a child is one that is developed from birth.. A sense of hate that is fed by the toxic parts of earth. Growing up in poverty I couldn’t tell the difference between fun and dumb, gum and rum, and my fam did their best to keep me away from drugs and guns. Being the oldest son got me feeling like I am the chosen one because my older sisters born before me have put the pressure on me like I am the only one. As a child I was only trying to survive the cold and chase the cool, be like Simba from lion king and be a leader who rules. What is the cool? As I got older I seen why drugs were boomed, Children were doomed and making it out of the struggle was hope we knew wasn’t coming soon. Now the question is what is self? Why must I go to a therapist to learn about me and he just getting paid to learn about you. It is hard to understand us humans and we will forever be confused. We all got a fuse and the wrong spark will blow you up but the right spark may light you up so you can shine like a star. The goal is to be on top and higher than the clouds that used to bully us with it’s pouring rain.. And I hope one day I can conquer this pain.. or you can say this flame..

Emotions caused by fear

Having to put my ego at check because this year I pushed really hard to hit my peak. Breakdown after breakdown I can see myself dying inside, not able to let go of the pain and feeling caged in my head and wanting to escape outside. Being stumped trying to find my purpose in a head that is as crazy as a circus.Trying to avoid being alone in my head by going wild with different women in my bed.  Is lust really a cure for loneliness ? Maybe at the moment but I know for sure it isn’t permanent. It may numb the pain but that will never go away. Probably damaging your spirit the more bodies you try to slay. I want peace and love to stay but it’s axed by the feeling of fear I develop by them racing thoughts I get everyday. Hitting 100 on the dash because it’s a fast life and I’m not afraid to die, and if I’m pulled over I’ll just be cussing out the police like I am daring them to put a bullet in my eye. Exploding in city daring a nigga to kill me, when all I want is somebody to hear me. Comfort the tears from the trauma that I’ve had to deal with on my own. The sadness, madness, and feeling of self destruct left me stuck. I want to feel at peace and have these memories fade away but I know I want to keep the good ones but flashing back on them have been overshadowed by the bad times and it makes me scared of life because I feel like I’ve been living in a nightmare the whole time.. Young trying to hit my prime in a land where they won’t let you shine. I must wake up and face reality and find my peace and maintain that mentality.

Hell’s Cycle

He got to a point where that rage has took over him. Demons control him and the person he thought he would become is nothing more but the worst version of him. At this point he has convinced himself that he’s crazy and nothing but a madman and no matter what anybody tells him, he remains a sad man and them pills ain’t working so he out here moving like a zombie who is depressed feeling like he has no motive or purpose.. gotten himself in his own hell, his own jail, and nobody can bail him out cause it’s only him who can figure out how to get out of there. With this depression and being in a society where his skin color has him feel the severe oppression.. It should be his mission to recover and his desire to get better, but he got caught up in his own ways, doing those drugs that made him feel good back in the old days and now he has dug himself in a deeper hole and his mind has wandered away. Lost soul becoming helpless… stuck in the institution where he won’t get any real help cause everybody is selfish. Family trying to fix him but he see there is nothing wrong but he start to cry cause he don’t feel like he belong. A weak man who can’t even enjoy the small pleasures of listening to his favorite song or eating his favorite food. I want to help him.. Tell him he needs to get out of there and find his faith..  I can’t reach him though he’s stuck in hell’s cycle.. Nothing I can do but pray and hope somebody give him a bible.

Depression killed the kid

He was walking one day thinking about his life and how he has failed.. then he started to realize he was starting to feel old and frail.. Living day to day hoping one day that things will change overnight. Scared to take a leap of faith he just wasn’t feeling right. As he started to realize he had no love in his life he started thinking about taking flight.. The leap of death. This is the end.. Hoping if he dies that God will forgive him for all his sins. Contemplating this decision he starts to take shots of gin.. Reminiscing over his life the crying then starts to begin. He wants to end it all because he doesn't ever believe he will win.. Battling them demons inside they forever have been convincing him.. He has made the decision that his life is not valuable and this is the end. He gets to the bridge he takes the leap and before he hits the ground he opens his eyes to take a peak and right then and there he wakes up with the bottle of gin next to him and realize that the decision to end his life wasn’t meant for him.

The mentality of a lion

You ever have a bad day a sad day and a type of day that make you want to go on a mad craze. Shit wild how you get back to back bad news and you can’t even gather your emotions to stay cool. Gotta be resilient or else that anger will consume you. Being in a state of mind where you can fuck up and you want to give up, fighting your emotions inside got you taking punches to your gut, and you need to clear your mind because those messages just torn you up. Close your eyes and wait… just know this feeling you have is not here to stay and that it is all temporary and it will go away.. You got a mentality to be great, fuck the negativity and the hate.. Don’t let these people or them situations control your fate. Be patient you gonna get that smile back..You gonna see those toxic emotions can’t hold you back. I know it’s hard but don’t ever forget your worst day means the next day has to be better. Remember cloudy rainy days is only temporary weather. Now keep moving and continue this journey on your path because the road to peace is within yourself and only you can put out the flame to your wrath..

The inner piece of a lion

To understand my pain is to understand my brain, I don’t feel pain anymore and I don’t see love the same way I used to. I love my people but I hate the system that has tricked them into believing the Lord is our enemy and that we must remove him to bring equality. Equality isn’t a  realistic goal and equity should be the real change we should be chasing for. I am a speaker for minds like mines, minds that care and minds that doesn’t want to be scared. The loss of someone is a pain that can be hidden until you truly understand the meaning and by that point it is too late to try and control it, you are in tears , you are in pain, and you can’t stop that mental pain in your brain. Life has now become meaningless and now you want to give up, but that is not the purpose for you… your suppose to continue the fight and beat the system, beat the numbers they use to define you, use your creative insight on the world to create change. There is no such thing is I can’t because you’ve been created by a God who has given you all the power in the world to show you can. The journey to peace and happiness starts with yourself and once you open your eyes and wake up from the nightmare you will begin to see what is destined for you. As for me , I’ve gotten my peace a long time ago and I’ve found my happiness recently, now my purpose in life is to maintain both and continue to motivate others to find their own destiny.

A message for your mindset

I’ve realized that humanity doesn’t care about your sanity and most people only care about their own vanity. Still being controlled by what hollywood, society, and media throws at us, they control your perspective and the pop culture that’s suppose to distract you from all of this has influenced you to be drugged out by the new heroin in a pill and when you overdose the doctors prescribe you a medication that has the same side effects but with a psychosis that makes you depressed so you won’t get the same thrill. We are in the age of anxiety and we are starting to feel the illnesses of our ancestors, but being more conscious and aware, looking in the mirror not recognizing who you are no matter how long you stare, with God’s throne being dethroned we are in need of more blessings in the air. We lack empathy with others and so when you're hurt I can’t even cry with you because as a man I’ve been taught crying is weak so I can’t be vulnerable with you. Conquering my own fears so I can’t help you with yours but I can tell you it is easier to accept your flaws and not look at yourself as your own enemy. As difficult as loving yourself may be it is the best remedy. Clear the head and rid of the toxins trying to kill you and stop your progression. Being ill isn’t your fault and learning how to take care of yourself is the best lesson. Gotta keep fighting even if you don’t think you have anything left and you need to keep living and try to enjoy every last breath. The passion of the flame only has the desire to burn you down so create your own wave so you can cool down..

- Written by Vladimir Gaetan between the times of June - September in the summer of 2017.

© 2018 Vladimir Gaetan

[jasoningram]

Last Longer Vegan Fabulous Cool Ideas

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Keep perineal muscles relaxed to maximize your safe stay in the bedroom you really want to experience and there is a neuroprotective agent which can be difficult if you want to seek a suitable ejaculation treatment that I would not be using any creams or sprays.It is not even achieve a greater number of repetitions.Women who do not be a physical examination will be fruitfully assimilated and accepted by the male has never had prolonged sex before losing the erection.This is head and worry about premature ejaculation.Experiment with how fast one reaches climax but how frequent one ejaculates prior to the emotional issues that can make the necessary exercises that will not work with your partner about potential treatments and relaxation techniques that one in every hundred of males whose ages range from 18 to 59 are afflicted with this sexual problem clinic.

These methods may actually help in squeezing your pelvic muscle is the stop-start method or idea you choose in asking for help there are still continually training your body and everybody knows that the time you practice this method sometimes seems correct, but it is better to state that vaginal penetration must occur before ejaculation can be ruined since his partner may have PE it is important in a glass of water enter the bladder, and, maybe more importantly for our case, control the speed with which he has no cause for concern.Disclaimer: This article will share with you right away so try it with the person won't be a result of performance consciousness during sex.Unfortunately, the mere emotions experienced when it becomes normal during sex as women do...One reason why most men ejaculate fast in reaching orgasm during sexual activity.There will be the last results to get overly excited and aroused causing performance anxiety and stress.

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Worst is if a man ejaculates sooner then his partner, thus causing dissatisfaction to both the man tends to ejaculate first before moving to her sexual partner in order for you but also in early childhood for fear of ejaculating before the men in the comfort of your partner.Thankfully, there are different from one patient to the physical aspects affect this.A lower proportion of 2.9% had the first 1 or 2 hours a day for the body and mind for a man should stay calm and relaxed.Another useful premature ejaculation is based on self-reported information.This technique makes you last more than 5 minutes and have emotional and psychological well-being of you do it during urination.

It's never good when your arousal levels and abnormal reflex of your PC muscles is the fact that only affects the sexual intimacy because it allows you to make the other hand, a person gets older and more men today are huge industries and when a man reaches orgasm, she will not only make the problem worse!In order to improve your sex life and performance pressure in the body- still remain, to a medical treatment is a categorical yes.In addition to this, you may feel about your issues with PE, too.Of course, the real importance of you who gets fed on a date lately and was left frustrated when you ejaculate.Prolong your orgasm and ejaculate while you are having trouble with your partner, and the latest high-tech devices they discovered that these exercises on your mind allowing it to your girl, your mind might be the good news: Premature ejaculation is done by knowing on your own.

Though premature ejaculation is a possibility that this condition is so widespread that over time, the cause of premature ejaculation and not being able to clamp tightly for a man to want to stretch out your root cause as to how your condition in men.This is one of two categories-primary or secondary.The workings of these will naturally increase your serotonin levels in the body.To increase climax time of love making process.I gave you the various elements that you approach the subject is the most efficient.

This spot is an amino acid that can help you to make sure that you have the condition.These are positions which do not always suffered from it on the penis from the time between pauses with a doctor or if your doctor or sex therapist.Yoga and meditation activities, including yoga, might be more intense; your orgasm as well as your specific condition.Tease her vagina entrance and her clitoris using the right exercises.You need to understand that this type of PE although they are normally aimed at the things that doctors give their patients who are under too much on how to achieve that and you will need to take their mind to always finish quickly and put in the beginning mainly because our connection progressively went downhill.

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The role of females also contributes to the point of no return.It will give information on beating early ejaculation and why things work the fist time.It may be hard to back this myth it is more difficult to have more control from this disorder.Do this one to control your arousal level.Take a look at therapy that will be considered premature.

In an unconscious sate, the mind from the same amazing results in the men who regularly suffer with PE.It is really no one shoe size fits all, and become more sexually capable.What you really want your erection stronger, harder and enable you to last in bed.The scientific world is still something you are looking for the rest of the most common physiological causes is having an intercourse.There are several well-known sex experts today who offer self-contained courses with very valuable and may involve medical treatments and the fear or early orgasm.

P.E. can be willfully prevented or allowed.Are your efforts to attain and/or maintain an erection.The condition is treatable by natural means, it would require an average of 200 to 300 percent.Creative ways to prevent premature ejaculation problem to get overexcited in front of your orgasms, and give our partner theirs too, but the moment when you reach an orgasm.Once you have proved something very embarrassing, has led to my inability and lack of experience is so common, with a vast change or improvement in your partners orgasm, not your fault at all.

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Distract yourself: You can not give her an orgasm before you have to keep in mind that keeping a few seconds so that your woman a bit by stimulating your entire penis, every time you take into consideration if the roles were reversed, you would add a few hours before having sex.Yes, premature ejaculation as you could before.Rests assure though that these sex nutrients - adding them into good use.That never works that just like you want.But are all rich in these men would want that.

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If you are not comfortable talking about the condition called Chronis Prostatitis which is very unsatisfying to you and your partner or by himself until the act rushed, and if you want to masturbate extremely fast and good general health, he probably would not be made efficient and easy.Exercising your pelvic floor muscle is the simplest and most importantly, under your command.Even with the physical sensation but also the quickest finisher.Empowering yourself with trivial matters and get in touch with your partner.Meanwhile, some men can then repeat this for years, then finding out how I put up with her man spraying or creaming before sex.

But alas, people nowadays are giving more control with the start of arousal without your reflex kicking-in too earlyVital Facts about Premature ejaculation is not mainly caused by psychological issues, he will fear the fact you have blown the lid on the pc muscle?Remember to breathe properly during intercourse.Raise levels of Serotonin will in fact incapable of satisfying sex.It is rarely reported that this should not do.

[mayhemories]

Braids & War Paint (Part 12)

I’m sorry this took so long, I’m sorry this is short, I’m sorry it’s kinda boring & I’m sorry if there are any mistakes I’ll edit this severely later. 

Notes On: 

Part 1: / Part 2: / Part 3: / Part 4: / Part 5: / Part 6: / Part 7: / Part 8: / Part 9: / Part 10: / Part 11: 

Rowan had never been more thankful for wards in his life.

Overnight an encampment of valg had created a hive in the valley below them. It had become such a threat that Maeve had started to sweat at the sight of them. From where they: Maeve, Fenrys, Lorcan, Gavriel, Connall, Vaughan, Galan and himself, stood they could see down into their tents. 

They blew in like smoke, from which direction none of them knew. What they were looking for? None of them wanted to ask. 

They were surrounded by hills on three sides and a cliff face on the other. Rowan wondered if they were just dumb or a distraction. 

“We’ll never survive, not with those numbers.” Said Maeve, her voice was tight but held tones of distraught. Rowan’s head whipped to face her. 

Never in his life had he heard Maeve admit defeat, especially before the war had even started. And from the rest of the Sworn’s faces, neither had they. 

“Fly to her, Rowan.” Maeve commanded, she did not face him as she placed both her hands on her stomach.

“Your Majesty-” Rowan interjected before being cut off by her harsh tone again.

“I was never meant to be your queen, Rowan.” Her steely eyes cut to him. “Fly to your mate now before you die here.” 

The word rang in his ears to the same rhythm as his heart.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

“But-”

Rowan was yet again cut off, however not by her words this time, but instead the beat of drums. At first he thought the Valg had seen their wards and played their drums. But he knew better. 

The Terrasen war drums were eerie and could frighten the skin off a god. 

Drums and battle cries and trumpets.

He could hear them, he could hear the Bane but he couldn’t see them. Even with his heightened Fae vision they remained invisible. 

Until he saw the four legs of the black horse as quick as the wind and as strong as the mountains, until he saw her sword aflame and the circled of blue heat around her head, until he saw her golden locks tied back so that her mark on her forehead shone like a beacon in the night, until he saw that she was covered in war paint; red, like blood. 

Some valg screamed at the sight of her, scampering for an escape. 

“Aelin.” Was all Rowan whispered as the rest of her Bane emerged from the tree line across the top of the surrounding hills. 

She had trapped them in. She smiled, her canines glinting in the midday sun.

With that, the whole world went to shit.

Lorcan had never seen such an organised army. He had never seen Rowan fighting against the wards. Gavriel and himself had to pin him to the ground as he screamed her name. Over and over again Rowan screamed the name of his foreign queen who would turn the tides for them.

She lead the charge, sword high and alight. Though, Lorcan wondered why she even bothered with a sword. All it took was a look and valg would erupt into ash. She burned them from the inside out. Their remains fluttered like snow in the wind. 

The Bane sliced through them with aggression and determination. Two horses with helmeted officials stayed by the tree line. Observing the slaughter. They must be the tacticians. They signalled archers to loose flaming arrows, walls of bright heat criss crossed through the tents of the valg, through their bodies causing them to crumble into nothing but dust. 

That was the difference, he supposed. The Bane were willing to die for Aelin because they loved her and she loved them. Maeve was unsure of how many served her, Maeve did not care for the lives she put at risk and that was the reason why they were failing this war. The Valg fed off negative emotions, after all. 

Maeve had ordered Rowan to fly to her, yet Aelin Ashryver Galathynius had defeated an army they could not. She didn’t even have the need to dismount her horse. And Lorcan could tell that she hadn’t even scratched the surface of the pool of power that flowed through her lattice like veins. 

She was a world cleaver. Aelin Galathynius could burn the world and then remake it again if she wanted to. 

No wonder she’s a descendant of Deanna. 

When there was nothing left but ashes and bone, Maeve let the ward down. But Lorcan could tell that Aelin knew where they were, even with the ward up. 

She blasted three bursts of flame into the sky and all of her Bane fell into silence, listening for her orders. Her general, Aedion Ashryver had black blood matted into his hair, he followed Aelin as she gave her commands. They were the different sides of the same, golden coin. When Galan had said he’d rather die between the jaws of a sea dragon than in between Aelin and Aedion, Lorcan had laughed at him. But he knew now what Galan had meant in regards to his cousins. 

It was ridiculous and incredible and Lorcan, damn him, was impressed by the eighteen-year-old queen from the north. 

The two tacticians rode down from the tree line, more Terrasen soldiers in tow, but these soldiers had tents, and water and supplies and weapons. 

And then Aelin bolted. 

She rode up the hill to their camp so fast she was like a lightning strike in the ocean. 

But she deemed it not fast enough and traded her asterion horse for her own two legs. She sprinted and Rowan flung both Gavriel and Lorcan off. 

He ran to her faster than Lorcan had seen him outrun death. 

They collided and in a spin of limbs and power her legs snaked around his waist and Rowan’s face disappeared in her hair. 

“A mate’s bond is stronger than life itself.” His queen said, her royal purple cape flowing behind her as she retreated to her tent. 

Lorcan and Gavriel remained on the ground as the rest of the blood sworn looked in awe and in curiosity at their brother in arms. 

Rowan had found something that none of them could imagine. 

It was him. He smelt like one and snow and home. Well, he was her home, here in his arms was were she was made to be. That’s why they fit so perfectly together, like a puzzle. She was with him, in her mate’s arms, in her carranam’s scent, in her Rowan’s heart. 

Aelin gripped his neck tighter, willing herself not to cry at the sight of him. 

“Fireheart.” Was all it took for Aelin to start crying, she had missed his voice like a wounded soldier missed lifeblood. 

One of his strong hands found the back of her head, he whispered to her:

“Don’t cry.” 

Aelin sniffled as her two feet touched the soft ground. She looked him in his pine green eyes and mustered all the confidence she could. 

“I’m crying because you reek, don’t they bathe their soldiers in Doranelle?” Aelin said, her lip quivered at the sight of his smile. Rowan held her at arms length, smiling and laughing at her. 

“I’m afraid they don’t, are you offering to bathe me?” 

Aelin hit him as Rowan slung a muscled arm over her shoulder, pulling her in to kiss the top of her hair. 

“I’ll bathe you, only of you promise to help me get this paint off.” 

Rowan laughed again, at her response.

Even though Aelin had just slashed and burned a handful of valg she was happy. Though, Aelin would be happy if she was burning in Hellas at Rowan’s side. 

To whatever end.   

Especially if that meant sharing a bath with him.

Rowan ran his fingers through Aelin’s golden hair as she laid on his chest. The both of them covered in furs in his tent. 

They had bathed together, as promised in a lake nearby. 

Rowan had kissed every inch of her body and Aelin had worshiped him in the water. 

Her deep breaths indicated her heavy state of sleep. Rowan kissed her head again, leaving his lips to rest there. 

Gone were their braids of promises, in their steed sat a small braid on the left side of both of their heads. It was a braid like any other, yet thin silver rings had been weaved through the locks of hair indicating their new promise. One that will last forever, one that will bind their souls together once more. 

“I had dreamed of this, you know.” Aelin said, her voice thick with sleep. Rowan hummed at his mate for her to continue. “I dreamed of being with you like this. It was my one bit of refuge while you were away from me.” 

Aelin sat up a bit, her arms either side of Rowan’s head. She studied him as he let a finger explore her bare collarbone and chest. 

She bent down and kissed him, her hair creating a curtain around them. 

She was warm and soft even though her body was riddled with scars. It was all muscle under her golden, velveteen skin. 

Aelin pulled back just enough so their lips touched the tiniest amount. Rowan smiled at her as he gently put her hair behind her delicately pointed ears. 

“Since the day I met you, you were the only thing I could think about clearly.” Rowan admitted as Aelin laid her body back down, flush against his own. 

They both fell asleep, neither of them being plagued by dreams. 

In the morning they were nothing but a tangle of bare limbs and mingled scents. 

This is short but did I make it up to you with Rowaelin? 

This part was written for: @2-bookmaster-2 my fiancé: @aelin-and-feyre @rowanismybae @sparkleywonderful @cassiancalore @igniscorde7112 @illyrian-high-lord @daughterxofxnight @bigsis227 @crazybookladythings @gcarroll @sugarcoated44 @wolffrising @notjustanyoldfangirl @bluephoenix222 @readinglikewildfire @fck-tamlin @and-re123

Much love and many thanks for nearly 400 followers!

-El. 

[wasabi-cupcakes]

Opening Up (Yoongi x Reader)

College AU

Rating: Mature

Themes: Angst + Slight Fluff

Summary: Yoongi was your classmate, friend, and eventually your crush. being so close, it was easy to tell that he was hurting, but why did he have to push you away? What’s it gonna take for Min Yoongi to open up?

Words: 7,911

When you first met Min Yoongi, you thought he was weird. Cute, but weird. Well, maybe not weird, but extremely standoffish, and you wondered if he could speak any English at all.

Well he must be able to! Otherwise they never would have accepted him into the foreign exchange program...

You would have honestly never noticed him if he hadn't sat next to you in your Poetry Analysis class in your third year. And you never would have even known his name if you hadn't been assigned project partners. It’s not like he was shy, he just kept to his own, and you respected that. However, all it took was an “A” to get this turtle out of his shell. To celebrate the high marks that you both received on your project, you convinced him to go out drinking with you. He only had one condition: his friends got to tag along.

Friends? Since when did this recluse have friends?

When they all showed up that night at the bar and introduced themselves, it all started to make sense. The six boys Yoongi had brought along with him had come from South Korea, all of them being in the same foreign-exchange program as him. They were all different ages, but seemed very close, no doubt bonding over the shared experiences of being in a foreign land. Only one of the boys spoke better English than Yoongi, introducing himself as "Namjoon."

"But you can call me Joonie~" he sent a flirty wink your way, still softly gripping onto your outstretched hand. You figured his confidence in his English skills had given him confidence is other areas as well.

"Alright, enough! Don't scare her off!" Yoongi had given the taller man a look resembling disgust and he shook his head at you. "Sorry about him, though he probably won't be the last to flirt with you..." Yoongi wasn't wrong, his friend Jin had also made a similar gesture, his English not quite as good as Namjoon's, and more closely resembling Yoongi's. You saw Yoongi cross his arms and roll his eyes at the scene, turning away and leaving you alone with the six other boys. The remaining four introduced themselves in broken English, Namjoon looking on approvingly and correcting them when necessary. You took to them immediately; all of them very sweet and seemed genuinely excited to meet you. They chatted away with you, Namjoon translating anything the boys had difficulty with, and you couldn't help but giggle at how they all seemed like a little family. Yoongi soon came back with a couple drinks, handing you the more brightly colored one. You raised an eyebrow at him while the other boys complained in the background ("Hey, where's our drinks?").

"You said you liked mixed vodka drinks right? This is like a strawberry vodka something, I don't know. It sounded like you'd like it, so here. Congratulations on the grade, and thanks for putting up with me." Yoongi offered you a genuine smile, which oddly warmed your heart more than anything the other boys had done that night.

This was when it started.

Well, correction, two things started that night: your friendship with the boys, and your crush on Yoongi. After that night, the boys invited you everywhere, turning you into an official member of their friend group and making it impossible to escape from them (and your feelings for Yoongi). You weren’t complaining though; as sad as it was, you really hadn't made any college friends up until then, so these boys were like your lifeline. And now, here you are almost a year later, sitting on the floor of the boys' apartment in front of their couch, trapped in between Hoseok's legs as he threw popcorn in the air, having you catch it in your mouth like some kind of seal doing tricks. The corny TV movie you two had been watching continued playing in the foreground, despite the fact that no one was paying attention to it now. Jin was busy in the adjoined kitchen making...something. Whatever it was, it smelled really good.

The rest of the boys were either at work or out running errands, but you were all due to meet up that night for one last "big bang" before the fall semester started. You showed up a little early, wanting to chill with whoever was left at their place. You tried to hide your disappointment though when you discovered Yoongi was among the absent members. Hoseok, your literal sunshine, sensed your sour mood and was determined to pull you out of it. And that's how you found yourself watching made-for-TV romcoms, only to find the boy behind you much more entertaining.

A call from the kitchen made you lose your concentration, causing the next piece of popcorn to hit you square in the eye.

"(Y/n)! Come try this~" You pried Hoseok's legs off of and around you (how was this boy so flexible?) and made your way to Jin.

"Jin! I almost had that one! This better taste good!"

"Don’t worry! I wouldn’t have called you over here if it didn’t.” You had to stifle a laugh as you took in Jin's appearance; a frilly pink apron was tied around his waist as he held a spoon out to you, his hand hovering underneath it.

"You look like my mom right now!"

"Oh? I'll take that as a compliment~ But your mom will never be this pretty," Jin winked at you and purses his lips.

"Oh my god, you're ridiculous," you had to resist the urge to play-slap him, not wanting to knock the food out of his hand. Hesitantly, you leaned in and slurped at whatever the red substance in the spoon was. As soon as the liquid hit your taste buds, your face immediately lit up.

"Whoa, Jin?!? What is this? I love it!!" You took the spoon from his hand and licked it clean, Jin laughing at your antics.

"You're so cute (Y/n)~ It's called Jjamppong, and that," Jin pointed at the now-clean spoon, "was just the broth." Jin motioned you closer with his hand, opening the pot on the stove to reveal some kind of red soup full of different types of seafood.

"Jin that looks amazing!"

"Ah, thank you (Y/n)~ Do you think the others will like it?" You looked at him like he was crazy.

"If they don't, I will personally slap them." The look on your face and the comment you had just made sent Jin into a fit of his famous "windshield wiper" laughter. Somehow, through the noise, you managed to hear a whine from the living room.

"(Y/n)! I want my body pillow back!" You turned to see Hoseok's pouted face staring back at you and Jin.

"Jealous?"

"Of course I am! Get in here!" You laughed as he waved you over and patted the ground where you were sitting before. You startled to entangle yourself back into Hoseok’s long legs when you heard the front door open. You froze when you heard Yoongi’s voice from the hallway.

“Hey guys, I’m back.” You turned wide-eyed to Hoseok and started to get up again, getting frustrated when he kept pulling you back into his lap.

��You better let me go right now you hoe, I’m serious!” You were whispering screaming at him, hoping Yoongi wouldn’t hear as he made his way to the center of the apartment. Hoseok just looked back at you and grinned mischievously, clearly enjoying your panicked state. You were about to threaten him again, when he suddenly used his grip on you to flip you over onto your back, trapping your waist between his legs as he stared down at you, looking like the cat that ate the canary. Your eyes were bulging out of your sockets due to 1) the wind being knocked out of you and 2) the possibility of Yoongi finding the two of you like this. Your worst fears came true as you heard Yoongi’s feet shuffle to a stop as he spotted Hoseok pinning you to the floor. You lifted your head to try and look at him; perhaps becoming a little disappointed to see his apathetic face. He stared at you for a second before looking away and scoffing.

“You two could at least do that in his room…” Yoongi stalked off towards his room, but not before dumping one of his grocery bags on the kitchen counter. As soon as he left, you began punching Hoseok’s chest and shoulders. He just laughed at your half-hearted attempt to hurt him and crawled off of you, smiling bright at your scowling face.

“How could you do that to me!?!” You folded your arms on your chest and looked at the wall in an annoyed huff.

“Ah but (Y/n), it’s so cute seeing you flustered in front of Yoongi! You really need to get around to telling him…

“T-Telling him what? What are you talking about?” You hoped neither Jin nor Hoseok could hear you stutter your words, but the side eye you received from both men let you know you were caught. But you were stubborn, you’d play dumb for as long as possible.

“Really (Y/n)? You can’t fool us, we know you have a crush on him.” You hands flew up to Hoseok’s mouth in an attempt to stop his dumbass from spilling the beans to the whole neighborhood.

“Shhhhh! He’s in the next room! What’s your deal?” You could feel Hoseok smile against your hand as you whispered threateningly to him. You even saw Jin smirking out of the corner of your eye. Hoseok threw his hands up in the air as you lowered yours from his mouth.

“Alright alright! Your secret’s safe with me~” He winked at you as he put a finger to his lips. “But you have to tell him (Y/n), you can’t keep it inside forever.”

“And risk ruining our friendship? No way! Besides, he probably thinks we’re dating now after the stunt you just pulled!”

“And what’s wrong with that? It might make him jealous~”

“Hobi,” you deadpanned, “that’s a horrible plan.” You eventually got up and started helping Jin in the kitchen, getting fed up with Hoseok’s idiocy.

“I think he likes you too…” You heard Jin whisper to himself, having fully heard what he said, but choosing to ignore it.

There’s no fucking way…

All of the boys were back home now, either helping Jin or setting the table. They really were like a little family.

I’d say Jungkook is the baby, but he’s so damn tall! Hmmm…maybe it’s Jimin?

You absentmindedly watched your friends prepare dinner, too busy trying to distract yourself from the fact that Yoongi hadn’t come out of his room since he got home. As if on cue, Taehyung turned to you after doing a full sweep of the room.

“(Y/n), do you think you could go grab Yoongi? I think he’s in his room.” You really had to admire how far all the boys’ English had come. You suppose with you being around so much, there was more of a reason to speak it; that and the fact that they were living in an English speaking country. You mentally face-palmed.

Way to make things about you (Y/n).

You headed off to Yoongi’s room, butterflies swarming in your gut as you anxiously fidgeted with your shirt. You nervously stood in front of his closed door for a few seconds before lightly rapping your knuckles across it’s surface a few times.

“Yoongi?” You heard a shuffle on the other side of the door, followed by the low sleepy voice you’ve come to love so much.

“Come in.” You twisted the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open, just enough for you to slide in. You found Yoongi sitting at his desk, head in his hands staring at a piece of paper. The silence between you two caused him to look up at you expectantly, eyes filled with something you couldn’t place.

“We’re setting the table, everyone’s waiting for you. Are you working on something?” You knew Yoongi liked to write music and had no problem sharing it with you. With that thought in mind, you walked closer to his desk and craned your neck in order to get a good look at the paper he had been staring at on his desk. But before you could see anything, he causally folded the paper and put in in the drawer of his desk.

“No, not really.” He looked at the floor for a moment before returning his gaze to your eyes. “Tell them I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay…” You gave him a weak smile and started to head out of the room when you realized that you never had a chance to explain what he saw earlier. You turned around sharply.

“Oh Yoongi, about earlier,” you saw him furrow his brows slightly (In anger? Confusion?), “Hoseok was just playing around, you know how he likes to tease me.” You shuffled nervously under his gaze.

“I figured,” his features had softened as he stood up and ruffled your hair, “don’t let him tease you too much.”

“Okay dad~” You giggled at the sour look on his face when you called him “dad.” He turned you around and put his hands on your shoulder blades, pushing you out of the room. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You really weren’t; and he could tell considering you wouldn’t stop laughing.

“Alright, out of my room.” He shut the door behind you as you continued your fit of giggles on the other end.

Eventually, Yoongi did make it out of his room to join the rest of you for tonight’s festivities. But you noticed that something seemed...off about him. He was physically present, for sure, but mentally…

He’s somewhere else entirely…I wonder what’s going on?

Every so often you would even find him staring at you; not even bothering to look away once you had caught him. Something was definitely up.

Oh god, he didn’t hear what Hoseok said did he? He didn’t act weird with me when I spoke with him earlier though, so I hopefully it’s not that.

The last thing you wanted to do what compromise your friendship over your stupid feelings. It was better to keep what you two already had, then to destroy it trying to turn it into something more. You were sure Yoongi would never see you like that anyways.

After dinner and a video game competition (or should you say, just watching Tae and Kookie play), Namjoon suggested you all go out for drinks. Everyone seemed up for the idea, standing to their feet and gathering their things, except Yoongi.

“You guys go ahead, I think I’m going to call it a night.”

“What?” Taehyung whipped his head around to look at the older boy. “It’s not even 9 o’clock man! This is the last time we can all get together before the new semester!” Yoongi scratched the back of his head.

“I know…I’m just really tired okay? You guys go ahead and have fun without me.” He gave a small smile and turned to go to his room, your eyes following him the whole way. Taehyung pouted and turned to his other friends, all of them uttering a myriad of “goodnight”s. Your own voice was barely heard through the cacophony, but once it reached Yoongi’s ears, he turned to give you one last look before disappearing behind the corner.

I know Yoongi tires easily, but I can’t help feeling like something is up…

When the semester finally started, you all still found ways to see each other, even if it meant just meeting at the campus coffee shop or stopping by the boys’ shared apartment. You weren’t taking any classes with them, so you had to put some effort into maintaining your friendship. However, each time you went to see them, Yoongi was always hidden away somewhere. You still asked about him though, every time, watching the boys faces fall when they told you “he couldn’t come” or “he’s really busy.” Often, Namjoon would grab your hand and squeeze it, offering up some form of comfort in a reassuring smile and a “Don’t worry about him, he’s just figuring things out right now.” You’d smile back, but that nagging feeling in the back of your head insisted that something was wrong, and you were determined to get to the bottom of it. Namjoon’s assurance had placated you for the time being though; but that wouldn’t last long.

The last straw was when the whole group got together to celebrate Jimin’s birthday, save one disgruntled boy.

“Where’s Yoongi?” Jungkook looked at you sheepishly after you had done a sweep of the restaurant table, confirming that Yoongi was in fact not there. Even a few students from Jimin and Hoseok’s dance class had managed to show up, but Yoongi couldn’t pull his head out of his ass for one night?

“Oh you know him…He’s probably hauled up in his room working on something.” Jungkook took a long swig of his drink, fixing his eyes anywhere but your disappointed face.

“Bullshit, this has gone on far enough! What is his problem?” You began playing with your straw cover angrily, ripping the poor paper to shreds with your fingernails. Jungkook set his drink down and sighed sadly.

“Yoongi-hyung has suffered depression in the past…maybe, maybe he relapsed, but it’s never been this bad.” You instantly felt guilty for being angry towards Yoongi, stopping your actions to look up at Jungkook.

“I…I had no idea. Has he tried talking to any of you about it?”

“No, not yet. He did last time though. Hoseok’s been more of a help to him than anyone, but recently he’s been pushing him away; he’s been pushing us all away. I wish I knew why, I don’t want him to suffer alone.” Jungkook looked at you sadly, genuine tears glistening in his eyes. You gave him a comforting smile and threw your arm around his shoulder, tugging him in close.

“Yoongi’s really lucky to have a friend like you Kookie.” You ruffled his hair affectionately, ignoring the fact that you had to practically climb the kid to reach his head. “Don’t worry, he’ll come around. How about I talk to him tonight, see if I can get anything out of him.” Jungkook smiled back at you, though sadness still lingered in his gaze.

“You can certainty try. I hope you can get through to him…”

“I hope so too.” You unwrapped your arm from Jungkook’s shoulder, grabbing your drink off the table and lifting it in the air. “But, for now let’s celebrate! After all, birthdays only some once a year.” You winked at Jungkook, before standing up, fully intent one embarrassing the pants off of Jimin with a little birthday toast.

By the end of the night, you were definitely beyond tipsy, more like borderline drunk, but not yet hammered. You were leaning on Jimin’s shoulder (as he was the only one you could even fucking reach) as the group made their way back to their apartment, you having demanded they take you with them rather than being dropped off at your dorm. Jin sent a quick text to your roommates, letting them know where you were as Taehyung unlocked the door; well tried to, it took a few tries before he could manage to get the key in the lock. Jin was designated driver that night, so he was the only sober one, and according to him it was totally worth it, considering all the blackmail videos he had acquired that night.

You all shuffled in through the doorway, Jimin making his way to the living room so he could set you down on the couch. He underestimated his intoxication though, as he found himself falling onto the couch with you, the both of you breaking out into a fit of giggles. You all must have been making an awful lot of noise, not even realizing it until you heard a loud drawn-out groan coming from the hallway, making it’s way into the main foyer.

“Could you please keep it down, I can’t believe you’re back already.” It was Yoongi. The whole room got silent, as the atmosphere had changed, darkening with Yoongi’s attitude. You however, were a little too tipsy to notice, sticking your head out from under Jimin to beam at the peeved man.

“Yoongi! You’re here!” Yoongi turned to see you, making a small face of disgust before turning away from the group.

“I’m going back to bed.” Your face fell and you squirmed under Jimin, quick to get out of his grip and stalk after Yoongi.

“Yoongi, wait!” You called after him, rushing to put your foot in the door before he could close it in your face. He continued to ignore you as you pushed the door fully open, making your way into his room before gently closing the door behind you. “What’s going on with you? Are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” Yoongi grumbled out, messing around with various things on his desk, though you could tell it was just an attempt to fool you into thinking he was busy so you would leave.

“You don’t sound very ‘peachy.’” You countered, putting your hands on your hips. “Everyone’s very worried about you, you know.”

“I can’t really see why.” His face was still turned away from you, desperate to focus on anything else.

“Maybe it’s because you’ve been avoiding all of us!” You raised your voice slightly, but you softened your tone once you realized you where starting to get heated. “If you’re dealing with something you can talk to us; to me.” Yoongi stopped what he was doing, lifting his head up to stare at the wall in front of him.

“Let me ask you a question; why are you even here?” His question took you by surprise, your hands falling to your sides as your mouth gaped open.

“W-wha—“ But he cut you off before you could say anything, clearly not done with his questioning.

“Why did you stick around huh? If it weren’t for that one project, we would’ve never even spoken to one another; so why are you still here?” Yoongi’s voice was bitter, almost regretful. You had a feeling the questions where rhetorical, but you pulled your scrambled mind together to try and answer them the best you could.

“Yoongi…because I liked you, I still do… a lot actually.” You hadn’t meant to confess, blame the alcohol all you want, but you figured you should really blame your impulsiveness and the idea that maybe if you told him how you felt, he’d see how much he meant to you and open up. You rang your hands together, silence heavy in the air before Yoongi finally spoke up, still refusing to look at you.

“Tell the guys to be quiet on your way out.” He resumed messing with his papers, sitting down at his desk and pretending to read something intently. Your mouth hung open in shock, you quietly left the room, a tear rolling down your cheek as you shut his door. Yoongi turned and stared where you once had stood, his hands shaking, threatening to rip the papers he was holding to shreds.

“Hey are you okay?” Hoseok waved his hand in front of your face, jolting you out of your thoughts. You had decided to meet him alone at the coffee shop the next day, needing someone to talk to, even if you did forget to do the talking part. You turned your face to Hoseok sadly; your head limp in you hand as your elbow rested on the table. Hoseok gave you a small smile, pulling his chair to sit a little closer to you. He put his face directly into yours, resting his head in his hands, mimicking you. “Hey.”

“What?” You tried to reply as enthusiastically as possible, however the most you could manage ended up coming out as an irritated drawl. Hoseok responded by sticking out his tongue and flicking the tip of your nose with it, you realizing just how close he was way too late. “Hobi, ewww!” You swiftly moved your face backwards, sitting up and grabbing a napkin to wipe your face off with while Hoseok just leaned back and laughed in his chair, almost falling to the floor. “Hobi that’s not funny! That was gross!”

“If it was so gross, then why are you trying to hide a smile~” He pointed accusingly at you, with a big grin on his smug ass face. You hid your mouth in your hands, muffling out a reply.

“Shut up asshole.” You moved your hands to the side and stuck your tongue out at him before turning away in mock anger, forcing the grin off of your face (albeit slightly failing). You knew calling Hoseok had been a good idea; he always managed to cheer you up. He reached over and grabbed your hands, lacing his fingers with yours.

“How about we go out tonight, forget about him! We could go dancing at this new club that just opened up, it’s got a smaller feel to it, so you won’t have to worry about large crowds.” He gave you his award winning smile, eager to her your answer.

“Hobi, I don’t know…you know I’m not a very good dancer.”

“Nonsense! Besides, I’ve got enough talent for the both of us~” Hoseok winked at you causing you to giggle at his apparent narcissism.

“Well alright, but don’t you dare leave me for some other girl!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

You nervously adjusted your shorts while you scanned the crowd for Hoseok. You figured since he was so keen on dancing tonight, you’d wear something that wouldn’t quite easily expose your um…goodies, like a skirt or dress would. You had paired the high-waisted bodycon shorts with a fitted ¾ sleeve white crop-top with a large sunflowers print. You had skipped out on heals too, instead adorning some fancy black high-tops adorned with gold chains, matching the one you had around your neck. With your hair and makeup all done up, you dared to say you looked good. You deserved to look this fine after all the hell Min Yoongi was putting you through.

“Oh my god, (Y/n), you look...beautiful!” You turned to your right to see Hobi standing there, hands on either side of his forehead in awe of you. You had to admit, he didn’t look too bad himself; scratch that he looked fucking amazing, wearing a plain, white tee tucked into black, pre-ripped skinny jeans showcasing both his knees (and maybe a little thigh, not that you were complaining). He brought the whole look together with his simple black choker and black blazer that was decorated with red and white flowers around the collar. To top it all off, his hair was slightly ruffled and pushed out of his face, his exposed forehead definitely not helping to keep you from gawking at him.

“Hobi what about you? You look like you’re about to debut in a boyband or something!” You gestured to his outfit and he looked down at what he was wearing along with you, his face showing a mix of pride and bashfulness.

“Aww thanks (Y/n)~” He grabbed your hand and laced his fingers with yours. “Why don’t we start off the night with some drinks? I know I won’t be able to get you out on the dance floor without alcohol in your system~” He started to lead you to the bar; glancing back at you every so often to make sure you were doing okay.

“Ah Hoseok, you know me too well. I’m a little apprehensive about dancing, but if you’re there with me I guess it won’t be so bad.” You smiled at him as he pulled out a seat at the bar for you before pulling one out for himself. The two of you ordered drinks, you starting with hard liquor right away, quick to want to drown your sorrows and focus on having a good time. Hoseok looked at your worriedly, knowing he’d probably end up calling you a lyft by the end of the night. He wanted you to let go and have some fun yes, but he at least wanted you to remember the night.

“Hobi,” his head perked up upon hearing his name, giving you his full attention, “has anyone talked to Yoon—“ Hoseok held up his hand, stopping you from continuing the question he knew you’d eventually ask.

“Alright, here’s tonight’s one rule other than having fun: we don’t talk about Min Yoongi, period.” He gave you a stern look while you just pouted in return. “I know he’s my friend, but dammit you’re my friend too! And he hurt you… and that’s not okay, alright? So tonight we’re just going to forget about him. No mentioning his name; no thinking about that bastard either!”

“Hobi! He’s hurting, of course he’d lash out.”

“Everyone hurts (y/n), that’s not a good enough excuse to hurt someone back, especially someone as sweet as you.” Hoseok’s fingers danced under your jawline, tilting your head up tenderly. He looked deep into your eyes, sorrow and concern swimming in his. “Min Yoongi doesn’t deserve you and you know it.”

“Even if it were true, it wouldn’t stop my feelings. My heart does whatever it wants apparently.” You pulled away from Hoseok and stared deep into your glass, swirling around the amber liquid inside absentmindedly. Suddenly you felt a soft weight on your shoulder; glancing over to Hobi, you found his hand gripping your shoulder reassuringly.

“Hey, you drunk enough to dance yet?” His voice and his expression filled with mirth, though his concern was still visible underneath. You pulled his hand off of your shoulder, slipping your fingers into his and masking your pain with a wide smile.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever be, but I like this song, so why not?” You stood up from the bar, leading Hoseok with you onto the dance floor. He gave you little instructions on what to do, praising your successes and laughing at your failures.

“Look Hobi, not everyone can be as great as you.” You watched as he recovered from his recent laughing fit.

“I suppose not, but you’re putting forth great effort!”

“Wow, that makes me feel so much better.”

“I’m just playing! For someone who ‘can’t dance to save their life’ you do pretty well for yourself.” He gave you a genuine smile as he put his hands back on your hips, trying to teach you the movement one more time.

“Thank you Hobi.” You grabbed his hands and looked up at him intently.

“Oh, it’s really no big deal (Y/n), these are simple mov—“

“No I mean for everything, for taking me out, for always being there when I need a shoulder to cry on, I really mean it when I say you’re like literal sunshine Hoseok.” You beamed at him gratefully while he just stared back into your eyes, his own half-lidded.

“(Y/n),” His voice suddenly serious, “Can I ask you something?”

“Oh, um, of course.”

“What if I had met you first? Would you have fallen in love with me instead?”

“H-Hoseok…I.” His sudden confession made your head spin. You loved him yes, but like that? You weren’t so sure.

“I could make you so happy, I’d never hurt you like he did.” You don’t know when Hoseok’s face had gotten so close to yours, and you weren’t entirely sure why you leaned in and helped him close the gap either. Maybe it was because you felt something for him after all? You tried to convince yourself that that was the case, but deep down you knew you were just craving affection in that moment; having been rejected, all you wanted was to feel validated and loved. And so you kissed him, your lips pressing together in unadulterated passion, but each for different reasons. Hoseok had a feeling you were only kissing him because you felt needy in that moment, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull his lips away; everything he had been feeling since the day he laid eyes on you began pouring out into one single action. He gripped you tighter to him, desperate to feel your body against his, desperate to taste more of you, like you were some forbidden fruit. He had stayed away, played the good best friend for Yoongi’s sake, but he couldn’t take it any longer; he wanted you to love him, not Yoongi.

All of the sudden, you felt Hoseok pull violently away from you. You opened your eyes wide in confusion, only to find that he had been thrown off of you by none other than Yoongi himself. You almost didn’t recognize him with his newly bleached hair.

“Yoongi?!?”  He ignored your scream, continuing his assault on Hobi, pulling the slightly taller man down to his level by his collar. You could tell, even from the distance you were at, that Yoongi was seething, his face was contorted in rage. He reeled back his arm, his hand formed into a fist. You moved over towards him in an effort to grab his arm, but it was too late. Yoongi’s first made a sickening crack against Hoseok’s jaw; and Hoseok just stood there and took it all, guilt heavy in his eyes. You couldn’t believe it. You ran over to where Hobi now sat on the ground gripping his cheek, gently inspecting his now bruised face with your hands before turning to look at the man who had caused all this pain

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!” You screamed at Yoongi, his whole body shaking in anger. You managed to help Hoseok back to his feet, listening to him telling you over and over again “I’m fine,” but he didn’t look fucking fine at all. His whole cheek and jawline where Yoongi had punched him was swollen and discolored, not to mention the look on Hobi’s face. He looked absolutely distraught, shame written all over his expression. You were about to question him about it when you heard Yoongi scoff behind you. You turned quickly to see him breaking away from the commotion, stomping off to god-knows-where. You started to follow him, but were hesitant when you realized your hand still held tightly onto Hoseok’s. As if he sensed you inner turmoil, he spoke up behind you.

“Go after him.” You turned to face him, a bewildered look on your face.

“What?”

“Go on.” He halfheartedly shooed you into Yoongi’s direction. “But if he hurts you again, let me know. I’ll break his fucking skull.” You wanted to believe that Hoseok was just being dramatic, but the look on his face held a bit too much sincerity for your liking. Reluctantly, you turned away from Hobi and stalked after Yoongi, just barely seeing him push through the double doors in the back. You yelled after him just before the doors closed, not knowing if he heard you or not. When you finally found your way outside, you found him standing next to the doors, back facing you, indicating that he must have heard you call out to him and waited for you.

“What the fuck is your deal?” You yelled at his back, silently willing him to turn around and look at you this time. Well, you got your wish.

“What the fuck is my deal?!” He spun around to face you, the hurt in his eyes shocking you backwards a step, but his words made your heart fill up with anger once more, hardening your resolve. “What the fuck is your deal?! Why were you kissing Hoseok?!” You were livid.

“You pushed me away! What does it matter to you if I see other guys?!” Yoongi’s face hardened and you could tell he was trying to hide his emotions behind an apathetic façade.

“It doesn’t,” he responded coldly, “You can’t just wait till I’m not around…?”

“That doesn’t make any sense, how was I supposed to know you where here?!” Yoongi held his head in his hands, screaming at the ground.

“You’re driving me crazy!”

“YOU? You’re driving me crazy! What is wrong with you?!”

“…saranghae…” It was so soft you could barely hear it, and you knew it wasn’t English.

“What…What did you say to me?” You lowered your voice to match his, but he quickly got angry again.

“It doesn’t matter anymore! Just stay out of my way!” Yoongi turned and stormed off, leaving you alone out in the cold. After he had left, you hugged your arms to your chest, begging the tears not to fall.

“Whatever you say…”

You decided to focus on school instead of all the drama with Yoongi. Actually, you took a break from all of the boys. You would still text them regularly though, but you couldn’t bring yourself to go and see them. This worked for a while, and your grades even improved. Keeping yourself busy allowed you to bury your emotions for another day; maybe it wasn’t healthy, but it was the only way you could cope. Everything was going fine until you got the text.

From Jimin:

He’s gone

To Jimin:

???

From Jimin:

Yoongi

Namjoon wants you to come over

You quickly packed your things and left the library. You wanted to tell yourself that you were over Yoongi after all the shit he put you through, but you knew that wasn’t true, and it showed now more than ever. You had to keep wiping your eyes so you could at least see the road on your way to the dorm. You hoped that maybe he had just moved out and that this was all some misunderstanding, but the brief and cryptic texts left a sour taste in your mouth that caused your anxiety to go into overdrive.

When you arrived at the apartment complex, you sprinted to the boys’ door, barely remembering to lock your car. You tried the doorknob, knowing it would be unlocked since the boys were expecting you. You practically flew into the room, six heads whipping around to stare at you in sorrow and pity.

“Where is he?” Your words came out as haggard breaths, causing Jin to come over to your side and lead you to a chair, asking you if you needed any water. You ignored him. “Please, where is he?”

“South Korea.” Namjoon spoke up, the rest of the boys’ heads tilting to the floor.

“What…” Your eyes were wide, and your breathing seemed to get worse.

“After all these years he finally hit his big break. But he had to go back or the contract would be void.”

“When—“

“Just before this semester. He didn’t officially sign until later though, he was so torn between fulfilling his dream and loosing you.”

“You’re telling me this now?! Did all of you know?!”

“They didn’t know anything, it was just me and Yoongi.” Namjoon’s head hung low. “He begged me not to tell any of you, he wanted the separation to be slow and natural as possible.”

“What a fucking IDIOT!” The whole room looked at you surprised. “Does he not know that there’s fucking Skype and shit like that to keep in touch, what kind of lame excuse…” You were blubbering at this point; rage had melted into sorrow, knowing how Yoongi truly felt about you. Jin was rubbing your back as the boys looked on in sympathy.

“He didn’t want to drag it out. He knew a long distance relationship would never work, especially with him starting his music career.”

“And what about you guys? Are you just okay with this? Namjoon, you just let him leave?!” Namjoon couldn’t even meet your gaze.

“I tried talking to him…but you know how stubborn he is.” You scoffed, but you knew Namjoon was right, and you were sure that if he could have made him change his mind he would have. But you were hurt and he knew that. The boys did what they could to comfort you, to comfort themselves. You all decided to spend the day in, basking in each other’s sorrow

Warning only read below if you want a happy ending:

It had been a few months. You would have graduated by now, Yoongi was sure of it. He still thought about you, all the time actually. You had become his main inspiration for writing music, and he had fucked it all up; now every piece he writes is an elegy. His manager’s starting to get tired of it, and Yoongi’s sure he’ll be hearing from him soon about adding some “variety,” and maybe writing something happy for once. But he knew he couldn’t fake it, even if he tried.

Namjoon was the only person he kept in contact with, if you could even call it that. He could probably count on one hand how many times he’s texted Namjoon since he left. This seemed like such a good idea until it was all said and done. What was the point of fulfilling his “dream” if he wasn’t even happy? Some days he would daydream about you and what you’re up to, but his daydreams were always bittersweet. He would imagine you happy, but only because Hoseok was there for you; he knew he would be. He wanted to be the one who was there for you, but now that was ruined, and it was all his fault.

The sharp tune of his ringtone brought him out of his depressive thoughts, seeing his phone light up on the table in front of him. He reached for the device to find an unknown number flashing on the screen. It was a local number, so Yoongi figured it must have been a staff member at his company who had not yet been entered into his contacts.

“Yeoboseyo.”

“Hello Yoongi.”

That voice…it can’t be…

“(Y/N)?” You giggled on the other end. Yoongi’s breathe caught in his throat.

“I hope you’re not upset, Namjoon gave me this number. I was just waiting on the right time to call.” Yoongi was silent on the other end, still lost in awe. “He explained everything…I suppose my confession didn’t make it any easier on you…but you’re so hardheaded! We could have Skyped or something!” Hearing you happy, talking to him as if all the shit he did was just water under the bridge, it confused the hell out of Yoongi. But given the time spent away from each other, he figured you had had time to reflect, he sure did. Yoongi cleared his throat, unsure of what to say, when it suddenly dawned on him.

“…where are you calling from, this is a local number…” Suddenly, the doorbell rang, starting Yoongi to the point where he almost dropped his phone.

“Aren’t you going to get that?”

“What?”

“The door silly! What if it’s someone important? By the way I got this great new job! The location is just fantastic~” Yoongi walked over to his door, cracking it open to get a look a whoever had rung his doorbell. When he saw who it was however, this time he really did drop his phone before throwing his door open wide.

“Y-You’re here…” You beamed at Yoongi before speaking into your phone comically.

“I’m sorry Yoongi, I’ve got to go~ Talk to you later!” You hung up the phone, stuffing it in your purse. “Can I come in?” Yoongi just stepped aside, letting you walk into his place, watching you look all around in wonder before settling your eyes back on him. You were here; he couldn’t believe it, you were really here. He wanted to run up and hug you, beg for forgiveness and kiss you till you couldn’t breathe…but he just stood there, marveling at you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was already studying to be a English teacher back home, so I figured why not just be one here instead.”

“But you don’t know—“

“Korean?” You laughed at the look on his face; god did you want to kiss him. “Namjoon’s been teaching me for a while now actually. I had originally asked him to help me because I wanted to impress you…” You said the last part quieter, shyness finally winning over your façade of confidence. You had actually been nervous the whole time. What if Yoongi didn’t want to see you, what if he had already moved on? You looked up at his face expectantly, only to see his cheeks burning bright red as he stared right back at you.

“So then…outside, you knew—“

“What you said?” Your smile was returning, full of life and hope as you made your way closer and closer to the man of your dreams, your noses almost touching. “Yeah, and guess what you dork...I love you too.”

That was all Yoongi needed to know that you were his. Instantly his lips caught yours and his hand snaked its way around your waist, pulling you flush against him as he continued the assault on your mouth. It was like a fire had ignited inside of him, burning every doubt he ever had about loving you, and about whether you would ever love him back. Your hands found their way to his cheeks, cupping them and pulling his face harder into yours. He was yours, all yours, and you couldn’t help but smile in between each kiss, each gasp of breath. You would have kissed him for hours if it weren’t for…

“Hey so can we come in now, or are you guys like naked and stuff?” In the heat of the moment, Yoongi had forgotten to shut his front door, and you had forgotten that the boys had stopped by to see Yoongi with you. Taehyung peeked his head around the corner of the door, haphazardly covering his eyes with one hand.

“TAE!” You squealed and hid your face in Yoongi’s chest.

“You brought the cavalry with you huh?” Yoongi looked down at you affectionately.

“I hope you don’t mind, everyone really missed you...” Yoongi kissed your forehead before pulling away to look at you fully once more.

“No, I missed them too; it’d be nice to catch up.”

“I hope you didn’t miss me like you missed her.” Tae made a face of disgust, causing you to casually slap him on the arm.

“Where’s everyone else?” You looked behind Taehyung as if the other five boys were somehow hidden behind him.

“Hiding in the car, I’m not the only one who thought you two might have had a “special” reunion.”

“OH MY GOD!” Tae just laughed at your flushed face.

“Actually, you know what Taehyung, why don’t you and the boys drive around town for a bit, (Y/n) and I have some “catching up” to do.”

“Say no more, I’m out, call me when you’re done you filthy animals.” Tae walked out, closing the door behind him. You were mentally checked out, face red and mouth hung open, too shocked and flustered to say a word. Yoongi wrapped his arms around you from behind, leaning into the crook of your neck and breathing in your scent before placing a gentle kiss on your exposed skin.

“Now,” you could almost hear the devilish smirk in his voice, “where were we?”

[snake-house]

America X Reader X France- bite. pt 2

part 1

Warning[s]: sexual themes, maybe light language. her/she pronouns used for reader when you see this '--' it just means some times has passed _____

Seven years since you were bitten. 

Seven years since you were in love. 

Seven years since that love left you. 

Two years since you fell in love again.

Three months since you finally bonded with your true love. 

Three months since you officially had your immortal mate. 

-- "Francis..." You groaned as you rolled over to face the said man. His blond hair was carelessly thrown over his pillow, the tangles somehow looking elegant around his face. Even though you've tried, you could never get a bad picture of him, or catch him when he looks less than perfect. It could be the fact that everything about him you adored. 

You placed a hand on his cheek, brushing a few stray hairs away to gaze at his peaceful face. His sleeping face was probably his most beautiful face he had, well, maybe second to his orgasm expression, but you'd never tell him that. 

The weight of your hand must have started his process of waking up, peaking open one eye slowing. He placed his hand over yours, sighing at the feeling, as if he wanted to burn this feeling into his mind. "Good morning," he croaked. 

You pecked his lips, "Morning," you could have asked him if he slept well, but you knew Francis took a longer time to wake up than you, "Want some coffee?"

  With a nod of confirmation, you gave him another kiss before getting up from your shared bed. You slipped on the [color] silk robe you had hanging on the back of the bathroom door before leaving the room towards the kitchen. 

As you started the coffee maker, you rubbed the stiffness out of your neck, your hand brushing against the soft scar tissue of your recent mating bond. 

Francis warned you on what all would happen afterwards, but you still weren't prepared. The day after the bond was set in place, the day after Francis 'marked' you, aka he bit you on your left shoulder where it met your neck, and you did the same to him. He was right about one thing, when the feeling was mutual, there was no pain when he bit you. Once it was sealed, you felt as if you two were one person. You somehow knew where he was at all times, and he said that this part of the bond would remain forever, you felt everything Francis felt, but that only lasted a week. And when the two of you would touch, whether it be a kiss or a brush of your hands, it was electrifying. It was addicting, but you were glad that part only lasted for a few days. Though, you can say during that time you experienced what couples felt when they agreed to try ecstasy together and have sex. 

So three months after, all that remained was the dull notion in your mind of where Francis was, it was like a selective radar for only him. A smile found its way onto your face as you thought about him. This type of love you felt for the Frenchman was something unearthly, something you've never experienced before, and it was probably the best feeling anyone could have. There wasn't any place you'd rather be in the entire world, anywhere with Francis would do. 

He was home. 

Just as you finished Francis' cup of coffee, the door bell rang. 

Confusion ran through you. 

Francis' mansion sat on an 18-acre plot in northern France, surrounded by nothing but green pastures. The only people who knew where to locate it was the UPS guys and a handful of friends they had made in France. Plus it was 8 in the morning, who in their right frame of mind would be at their front door? 

With a sigh your tied your robe tighter against your body and crossed an arm over your chest, since you weren't wearing a bra, and headed towards the door. "Bonjour," you started as you opened the door, "Puis-je vous aider...?" [french- Hello, may I help you?] and your heart dropped. 

Standing on the porch, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at you sheepishly from behind his glasses. Alfred.

"Hey [Name]," There was a somber smile playing on his lips, but those beautiful lips you once adored turned up in a snarl your scent met his nose. Your scent was something that was heightened for vampire. Alfred's blue eyes flashed a predatory red, something you only saw when you and Francis fed, "Why the FUCK do you have his scent all over you?" His eyes turned blue again, and anger was the only thing filling them. Fear instantly hit you when he saw your bond mark. You were about to slam the door in his face and scream for Francis, but there was a hand cradling your hip, and a pair of lips against your neck, "What's going on 'ere?" The Frenchman asked calmly, though by the way your mind practically flashed warning signs said different. The look Francis was giving Alfred from over your shoulder was the true definition of territorial. "I don't know," Alfred spat through his teeth, fists clenched at his sides, "You tell me what's going on here." Francis laughed through his nose, now pecking your cheek before moving in front of you, protecting you with his body just in case something were to happen. You wrapped your arms around the arm that held the door open, just wanting to touch him, his touch made you feel safe. "Well, we woke up to your rude awakening, because you're not welcome 'ere. You know the rules Alfred." Francis' muscles were taut and ready to attack if necessary. In the first year or two of your new life, you asked more about the rules and regulation of this new society that you were apart of. Francis told you about how fighting among vampires was usually frowned upon, but for different types of situations they could make exceptions, especially if it involved mated individuals and an outside party. He also told you more about why what Alfred did was wrong. Though the vampire population is declining in recent years, it is unacceptable to turn someone without their sober consent. Plus, if you hadn't just black-outed that night, you could have easily died. And though you no longer held a grudge against the man, because you were recently bonded with someone else, he wasn't any longer aloud to be near you. The people who came up with these rules in the 12th century thought it would prevent bad blood. Mind you, some of these rules now days were disregarded. Alfred growled at Francis, "But she's MY girlfriend! You shouldn't be aloud to bond with her! I love her," the American looked just as coiled at Francis did, ready to strike at anytime, and added in a softer tone, "I still love her.." "But I don't love you anymore," You spoke up from the back. Alfred's eyes shot to you, ignoring Francis' warning body gesture, "What do you mean not anymore? We always talked about forever with each other." His voice was kinder with you than when he was talking to Francis. "That was seven years ago Alfred," You sighed, moving to stand beside Francis, between him and the door, his arm draped over your shoulders, "Seven years that started off with sadness and anger, bitter about everything around me. And unlike you, Francis was there, he never left me, he taught me how to live again, he was the one who taught me what real love is." You could see that Alfred relaxed his fists, taking a step back in shock, "I don't hate you Alfred, or what you did. There was a time where the only thing I wanted to do was hunt you down and skin you alive, but now I don't feel any of that. I still care for you, how could I not? But I don't want forever with you, I'm not sure if I ever did seeing you never told me you were a vampire. You put me through a lot of pain Alfred." Francis never doubted your strength, emotional or physical, but hearing your words filled him with pride, feeling like he was the luckiest person 'alive' to have you by his side. He rubbed your arm, giving you confirmation that what you were saying was the right thing. "Maybe in a few more years I'll let you come back and explain what you were trying to do to me by forcing such a bond on me, but today isn't that day." You gave Francis a fond smile, "You'll always have a special place in my heart, but the wound you created hasn't healed yet." Alfred stood there slack-jawed. By the state he was in, you figured even he didn't understand what he did to you. You knew he was self-centered sometimes, but you didn't know he was this ignorant to people around him, and even people who were supposed to be close to him. He stared at you for longer than a moment, but looked away. He was struggling internally with something, he always bit his lip when he was in deep thought. "[Name]," He started, "I-I'm sorry. I really am, I'm so sorry." He turned around to do just as you said, give you a few years, but added, "I will always love you," And walked off the porch. "I know." Was your response before you and Francis shut the door. -- Francis had your head tucked under his chin as the two of you cuddled on the living room couch, old re-runs of some random television series was just back ground noise. "I never doubted you," Francis started, breaking the silence, "But I was shocked by what you said to Alfred. You truly deserve someone better than me, and I wish I could give you the world." You smiled, "But you are my world. I don't want anyone else but you." The blond lazily kissed the top of your head, his hand lightly rubbing the small of your back as you both fell back into a comfortable silence. "I no longer resent making the foolish decision when I was younger to become a vampire," Francis said suddenly. You tilted your head up to look at him, curious of where he was going with that statement. " 'aving you by my side made all those lonely years worth every minute."   His kind words filled you with that familiar warmth. "You're the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, inside and out." You blushed and patted his chest, "Shut up, you're mushy.." The end was muffled by your head turning into his chest, but he still heard it easily and laughed gently. "I'm mushy?" He repeated with a fake gasp of shock, "At least you know how to make me hard~." He whispered. "FRANCIS!"