#but yeah fuck eurovision forever and always

[flowercrowngods]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 (these make one big story, you won't understand this part without the others)

day 04: here come the tears

a/n: the people have requested a surprise eddie pov and i have decided to pull a eurovision and ignore the public vote, just a little bit. but you get a tiny eddie pov, as a treat 🤍

Steve is crying. It's 1:07 a.m. and Steve is crying. And there is nothing Eddie can do about it as he's lying in bed, his heart breaking further with every passing second that they lie there in silence, quiet sniffles carrying over the phone. 

Steve is crying and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not talking to him and Eddie is breaking. Steve is not okay, and neither is Eddie. They're both breaking. 

And Eddie doesn't know what to do about it, how to fix it. How to make it better. How to tell Steve that he misses him, how to ask him to talk to him, how to keep him. To stop him from slipping through his fingers further and further until all there is is silence. 

"You know," his mind wanders back to years ago, his heart cracking at the memory. "I had the biggest crush on him for the longest time. Forever, really."

He remembers the way Steve's eyebrows shot up, his eyes round with... shock? Surprise? Or maybe something bad? 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah," Eddie had chuckled, fiddling with the straw in his drink to give his hands something to do. "Remember that kiss?" Steve nodded. "Well." Another chuckle, awkward this time, and possibly too revealing. 

Steve grinned at him, a self satisfied smirk that wavers just a little. "So you're saying you did fall madly in love with me, Munson?" 

Eddie's breath had hitched a little because Steve remembered those words so perfectly that had since doomed Eddie completely. But he covered it up with a laugh so easily, he was sure Steve didn't notice. 

"Maybe," he grinned. "But eh, that's in the past." 

It wasn't a lie; not really. But wasn't the truth either. 

The truth was that Eddie had moved on. The truth was that it's the kind of crush that was never really a crush. The kind that is a Forever more than anything else. 

The kind that will always be there, a flame burning inside my chest that carries your name and keeps it alive, keeps me warm. The kind of flame that will always be ready to become a bonfire again. Just say the word, Stevie. It's written in the universe. Say the word and I'll be yours. 

"Good," Steve said after a while, and Eddie remembers frowning, remembers that he wanted to ask what that tone was, what Steve was thinking. If he was worried or disgusted or felt betrayed that Eddie's been so hopelessly and helplessly in love with him. 

But all he said was, "Yeah. Remember Chrissy? We're kinda official now." 

And Eddie had known then just as he does now, that he'll be a happy man with Chrissy. She's his best friend, a sunshine on bleak days. She's no Steve, but she makes him happy. He had to move on from Steve – to try – and allow himself his own kind of happiness. He'd never expected to find it with Chrissy, but he loves her so much. He's grown to love her in the past years – not the movie kind of love, not the all-encompassing Steve kind of love, because that flame inside his chest can still only carry one name. 

But life is not a movie. And love is not always a fire. But he's still warm, still content, still happy. And so is Chrissy. She knows about his flame, says she understands. Eddie thinks he has one of her own, but he never asked; just held her that night, creating more of that silent happiness.

…Is he happy? Lying in bed, listening to Steve's quiet breaths that are barely audible over the phone, remembering the kiss, the confession, the Forever that he tried to move on from, he wonders what he's doing. Wonders if that contentment is worthwhile if it somehow lead him to losing Steve. 

Did he miss something? Did he fuck up without realising? 

He can't ask; Steve won't talk. 

All he can do is lie there and feel that flame that still carries Steve's name after ten, eleven, twelve years scorching his insides. 

All he can do is wonder if the whispered, "Good night, Stevie. I miss you," is some kind of goodbye. All he can do is lie awake all night and wonder where they started losing each other. 

~*~

Missing Eddie is worse than loving him. Missing Eddie makes it feel like all the heartbreak songs are written for Steve and his pain that will persist.

It’s been three months since the engagement party, and the sharp, biting heartache that cut into his lungs every time Steve tried to take a deep breath has dulled now, turned into a constant ache, an emptiness, the sorrowful traces of where an I love you turned into an I miss you. 

He’s barely talking to Eddie anymore, and with every passing day he just misses him more. 

Steve types the words I miss you over and over and over again, but never hits send. Just stares at them, wondering if Eddie knows. Wondering if he’s doing the right thing. He isn’t. There is no right thing. Nothing is right. Not without Eddie. 

He scrolls up in their chat, past Eddie’s questions if he’s okay, past his very own I miss yous, up and up and up to the strings of hearts, to the inside jokes, to the gentle teasing, to the You’re my favourite persons, to the happiness and joy and good, good times. 

He scrolls and scrolls until his phone vibrates and tells him there’s a new message in the chat. Steve frowns, his hollow heart racing as he scrolls down again to see Eddie’s new message. 

Eddie Munson: — Can I come over? 

Steve frowns. 

— why? are you okay? 

Eddie Munson: — No. — Nothing is okay. You’re gone and you’re not talking to me and I miss you and I’m losing you and I don’t know why — I dont know anything. — I just wanna know, wanna talk, wanna understand — I wanna fix this. I fucked up, I think, and I wanna make it better. — I need to talk to you — Please. Please can I come over 

Steve swallows hard, as he reads the incoming messages over and over again, watching the little bubble that says Eddie’s typing still. Watching as it disappears and reappears, reading until his eyes begin to sting and his vision is blurred with tears for the first time this week. 

Letting them fall as he types, 

— no. please dont 

Eddie doesn’t reply to that, and Steve breathes out long and hard, throwing his phone to the side, not caring where it lands on the couch as he slumps over to the other side, turning up the music even louder. 

Oh, can you tell I haven’s slept very well Since the last time that we spoke. I said, ‘Please understand I’ve been drinking again And all I do is hope.’

It consumes him, this song and the way it was written for him. The way it was written about him. Because he has no right to ask Eddie to stay. He’s the one who’s leaving. He’s the one not telling Eddie what is wrong, why he’s pulling back so suddenly. 

I’m not strong enough for the both of us. What was I supposed to do, You know I love you. Please, stay.

Please stay. Please, please, please stay. It’s about him. It’s about Eddie. About them. 

And Steve listens to it over and over again, not caring that his neighbours will know it by heart by know, will be so tired of him wallowing for weeks and months, and will come knocking soon. He doesn’t care, not when Mayday Parade are singing, All the love’s still there, I just don’t know what to do with it now. 

He types that into Eddie’s chat. Doesn’t hit send. Sends it to Robin instead, and gets a shaking hands emoji in return. It makes him smile as he re-starts the song. 

~*~

That night, he wakes around 2 a.m. to a missed call an hour ago and one new message on his mailbox. He lifts his phone to his ear with shaking hands and bated breath, a pit opening in his stomach when he hears the Judas Priest song that’s been in his Sad Eddie playlist since the beginning. 

His heart cracks open when he hears Eddie’s sniffle, a heavy sigh, and another sniffle, followed by a little, Fuck. 

“Stevie? I’m… You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to just— to just disappear. To slip through my fucking fingers, or float away like a— a dream, when you wake up, and you wanna go back to sleep because it was a good dream, and you— I don’t wan’ you to be a good dream Steve. You’re like… Fuck, man!” 

Eddie’s voice is breaking, and so is Steve’s heart as his hand begins to tremble and he sits up in bed, closing his eyes, squeezing them shut because he doesn’t want to see the world as Eddie’s rambling at him. 

“I miss you. I miss you so much, and I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t… I don’t wanna miss you. How do I get you back, Stevie? Please just… God, please just talk to me. I’d do anything for you, you know that. Just tell me, just say the word. Just… Just say the word, please.” 

There’s silence after that, only Judas Priest’s Here come the tears over and over as the song is ending. Steve is crying as he listens to Eddie’s silence. 

“Just. Just… Please, Stevie.” 

The call ends then, the line cutting to the staticky voice instructing him to save or delete the message. Steve saves it. He doesn’t know why. 

He also doesn’t know why he’s scrolling through his contacts with trembling hands and hits Call when he reaches Eddie. 

The call doesn’t even get to the second ring before it’s picked up already. 

“Stevie?” Eddie sounds breathless, wild, and just a little hoarse. Like he was still crying. 

“Hi,” he says lamely, still shaking, a little breathless himself, and with absolutely no idea what he should say. 

“I’m… Hi.” 

Silence falls, and Steve wipes at his eyes. He’s still in bed, just sitting there with his phone pressed to his ear, and the ball that’s coiled inside him is growing larger and larger with each passing second that he doesn’t say Sorry, that he doesn’t say I miss you, too. That he doesn’t say I love you. 

“Can I come in?” 

He blinks, the question throwing him off his thought spiral. “Huh?” 

“I’m sort of… outside your building right now.” 

Why, he wants to ask. No, he wants to say. You’re gonna see, you’re gonna know, you’re gonna hate me forever. 

“Okay,” he breathes and climbs out of bed, blanket around his shoulders despite the summer heat, because suddenly he’s freezing. He buzzes Eddie in, listens to him on the phone as he walks up the stairs, neither of them thinking of hanging up, and opens his doors with shaking, trembling hands. 

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen @livsters @eddiemunchondeeznuts @abstractnaturaldisaster @steddie-as-they-go @hyperfixationgoddess @goodolefashionedloverboi @stxrcrossed186 @imzadidragonfly @eddiemunsonswife @bidisastersworld @ghost-ly-s @romanticdestruction @walkingaftermidnight07 @anaibis @rainydays35 @mightbeasleep @sunfloweringstories @korixae @tuesdaycats @totoroinatardis @ilovebookshowboutyou @musical-theatre-gay @theluckyalien @copingmechanizm @srra @changelingbaby @sassygoop @obsessivelyme @r0binscript (sorry if i missed anyone just give me a shout if i did <3)and thanks to everyone who said nice things about this 🤍🌷

come back tomorrow/later for [redacted] | read here

[pjisskullourful]

I'm so proud of you

🫂⭐

thankyoooou my darling💖

stream of consciousness response cos i have so many feelings& idk if im gonna be able to sleep even though its 1.30am? okcurrrrr

holy fuck. holy fuck. HOLY FUCK!!!

i had some shitty things happen to me pre -pandemic but then being on lockdown i was forced to sit with all of that, accept the label of 'victim'& my mental health got bad. i've always been a homebody& a bit anxious in social situations, but during lockdown i became quite terrified of the outside world. there are occasions when i let my best friend down by pulling out of commitments at the last second cos i never felt good enough, i wanted to hide the fuck away, i felt myself decaying& i thought people would see that& i was SO ashamed& thats when the body dysmorphia got in the drivers seat(the street name of the concert venue was driver, i'll be the driverrrrrr)& it was crippling & took so many things from me

anytime i leave the house is an accomplishment for me now. even if its just to walk down the block to buy a loaf of bread. & going into a situation like a concert, with the overstimulation, the complete lack of control (i am a perfectionist, control freak)(i love structure, i need routines to feel safe & thrive& be happy)- i wasnt sure i could do it. i had a cry last night cos i was feeling so intimidated, i didnt know how to prepare

but i made it out of the house. i dressed myself to the fucking nines with no shame. i took PRIDE in my appearance when usually i just want to be a floating brain so that no one can perceive me in my form. i was serving CUNT, i put my entire pussy into it& i fucking did it

to be in the presence of those four fuckers, im in disbelief. i've been unemployed since a bit before the pandemic, i've had to come to terms with ptsd & the fact that i now have a disability & idk how to just jump into another job. i feel so worthless so often. but here, i dont. i had given up on my dream of making money from my writing. but now i am!(& it started with an ethan commission!!!) & im not worthless& i have accomplishments that i have gained for myself, despite everything else, despite the voice in my head telling me im not good enough, im past my peak, im decaying -- yada yada yada suicidal ideation

a little bit of my dream came true because of those four fuckers. i cried the day honey came out cos i am just so completely grateful for everything being a fan of them has given me

& it started with an ethan commission. & then ethan looked in my eyes& said thank you

i am not worthless, i am not past my peak. i am a motherfucking kool kid

thankyou for every note on every fic(i look at every single notification, they make my heart fucking soar), every kudos, every cent anyone has sent my way. tonight was a celebration of all of that& i could be present& happy& in it. no darkness could touch me, especially not while ethan was looking at me

he is as fucking flawless in person(they all are). i got to stand so close& stare at that fucking body(cos he wonderfully took his shirt off after interval)& i love him& i'll most likely love him forever, thats my baby daddy ❣️ my mum is gonna be so proud. i wish i could wake her up with a phone call. ethan is her fav& i cant wait to tell her i had an interaction with him

i sat in the gutter& went from loudly laughing(ala gaga in aura) to sobbing loudly. my world has been rocked

for some people a concert is just a concert but this is a GIGANTIC deal for me. middle finger to my anxiety. middle finger to my body dysmorphia. this is such an accomplishment. i am grateful for every fucking second, grateful to myself cos i fucking DID IT!

& this is the second time this year that i've seen a eurovision winner perform their winning song(cos my girl conchita back at the start of the year). & that is dopee as fuck!!!

my therapist is gonna be so proud 🥲

can i get a HELL YEAH for vallium? ily forever bby

tldr-- im proud of me too babyyyyyy

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[notebooks-and-laptops]

Hi, hello, I spent the last few days listening to your Izzy playlist and aaaah!! I don't know where to start so I'm sorry if this ask isn't very coherent but aaaaaah.

First of all I very rarely listen to people's playlists because I feel like other people's music tastes don't always merge well with mine but I already knew and loved a few of the songs in that playlist and a good half of the ones I discovered I love so much! So thank you for making me discover cool songs, notably but very much not limited to This is love, Girl with one eye, Genghis Khan and 505.

Also, I feel like the combo 'not always seeing the characters the same way' (which is normal obviously) and 'having different music tastes' makes character playlists a bit meh to me? But I'm so so glad I gave yours a listen because I kept hearing the lyrics of the songs and going 'oh yeah that's an Izzy mood alright', I think the most obvious ones for me are like King and This is love? Especially that part at the beginning of This is love, the 'shut up' in 'this is love, love, shut up this is love' every single time I hear it (and I've listened to it a lot) my brain just thinks of him and Ed (and also like King, I will never hear it without thinking of them this is an Izzy song forever for me now) And obviously when I heard like, You me and Steve, Girlfriend, The masochism tango or Jolene I was like 'oh obviously, of course (affectionate)'

Also, and this is more personal but Die together is !! I love that song because not only is it genius to have put it in that playlist it also makes me think of - in middle school I took ancient greek and latin classes and one time the teacher had us listen to an intervention by a teacher who talked about how immortality was truly achieved by dying young and in battle, so that your tales would be told far and wide and forever, and this theme of immortalising people forever through death has not left me since, so finding a song that connects to it is just !!! Anyway excellent job, our music tastes may not be the exact same but I kept the majority of the songs when I downloaded my faves to my phone and that's impressive. Thank you very very much for sharing!!

!!!!!

(For others who want context, my Izzy playlist can be found by clicking here)

This is so much of a complement omg. I spend so much time making fandom playlists for fun (I think I have around 80 playlists for Dragon Age alone) and they're not things that usually get shared around because of all the things you listed (music taste, people having different opinions on characters/songs, or even how I tend to listen to the lyrics and use those to assign characters, whereas I defo have some friends who do it on 'vibes' or what the character themselves would most likely listen to) which is fine but it IS really fun when other people do enjoy them/want to chat about them because music linked to fandoms is like. The main way I consume music and I consume a LOT of music.

But I'm glad that you enjoyed so much! Also King as an Izzy song is literally haunting like holy fucking shit (also a great Steddyhands song if you're into that with that little bit about climbing up the stairs to the light) and 'this is love' is I think the number one song to get into the core of Blackhands from Izzy's perspective like he just sees love that way as this violent deranged thing.

'Die Together' is YES that song holy shit. If you didn't watch it in Eurovision this year, I recommend doing so because the staging was stunning and haunting (it was my absolute fav of the night, so glad it got into the top ten, wish it had done even better) - you can find it here. Also as far as Izzy is concerned it makes me want to chew on things like this idea of a very toxic love that can't go on, but also the idea of it being the worst thing to imagine it ending because that love is also EVERYTHING, and so how are we going to fix this well maybe we'll just die together, and that way we can't lose each other and just dhjadhkjfgjkagfkgf BLACKHANDS HURTS MY SOUL.

Also, PLEASE if you haven't already go watch the Genghis Khan music video here! It's gloriously queer with the premise of 'if James Bond fell in love with the villian' SUCH a good music video

But thank you so much for this ask! It honestly made my day and I'm so glad you enjoyed the playlist as a whole!

[deep-hearts-core]

(tonight we're gonna party like it's) 1999

god damn i haven't done one of these in a while. its charlotte nilsson time baybee

Lithuania REAL SHAME about this staging. it's a nice song and aiste has a great voice clearly but she doesn't have the right kind of stage presence for this. the dancing around that she was doing didn't feel right for this genre, it was discordant and distracting. also the pink lighting didn't work. if i could go back in time and fix this i'd tell the lithuanian delegation to keep the camera close on her upper body at all times.

Belgium nice song nice voice well staged but she's too damn quiet. i can't really hear her. especially at the beginning. sad bc i have no other complaints about this one except for maybe "is that guy blowing into a horseshoe crab?".

Spain she's a good singer so it's a shame about that dress. also, the verses are kind of boring and i only really enjoy the chorus. also, i keep misremembering this song as having the tune of a bosnian song called "zena svijetom upravlja" or something like that that a friend of mine submitted to a tumblr fancontest forever ago. also also, did i mention that dress? distracting.

Croatia love the "ah-ah-ah-ah"s in the chorus. favorite thing about this song. (maybe because that's what's familiar because that's the thing that everyone puts in the fourth place compilation recap vids or whatever). she looks nice in that dress i guess but something feels kind of off with the staging. i can definitely tell that this followed immediately after dana international. there's something in the way she's moving that's making it clear she's trying to imitate dana in some way.

UK i love this one!! love a girl band, the main singer is really good, and those silver outfits are great. that "say it again, say yeah" is the most catchy/memorable line i've heard so far tonight that i hadn't already seen in a recap video. unfortunately one of the girls was a little pitchy in the high harmonies and that got on my nerves a little.

Slovenia i mean i don't love it but there's nothing to hate about it really. she sounds good. nice classic eurovision ballad.

Turkey this is every turkish entry ever, right? it's not bad really it's just not my speed. i spent most of my time watching this thinking about danish barbershop quartet the clementones and admiring the stage, because this year's stage is cool. more on that later.

Norway ngl kind of disappointed? the dance routine was good, i guess? idk it's not my kind of song and he wasn't great vocally. and that shirt wsa sort of. a choice. didn't work imo.

Denmark you can always count on denmark to do a good happy duet with a guitar. love this. if they hadn't fucked up that very last note this would have been absolutely perfect to me. <3

France like if that song "free fallin'" got eurovision'd.

Netherlands early dutch country is also every eurovision song that follows it for the next like 5-6 years, more at 10! nah but it's alright. and she's pretty, which helps. the song started before she started singing and i was like "?? this is gonna be so good?" and then i remembered it was the netherlands and my expectations instantly went medium. lol.

Poland great belt on this man. not like a literal belt but like his voice near the end when he's belting his high notes, that's good. good tone. song's ok i guess.

Iceland this song slams and i fucking love it in studio but the staging was... a little too over the top, tbh?

Cyprus her voice isn't a good fit. the slow start goes on for just a little too long and she's just kind of shrill.

Sweden it's good, i can see why it won, but her outfit is just so MUCH. i hope it was a candidate for barbara dex. the eyeshadow. the flesh colored fabric underneath the pretend crop top. no thank you charlotte.

Portugal not bad. rui bandeira is kind of a guy who looks like a girl who looks like a boy iykwim. idk it kinda sounds like all the other ones.

Ireland this song is too low for them and it does funny things to their tone quality. too much vibrato.

Austria she's cute, i like the guitar line, this is very radio-friendly and american in a way that allowed me to like... yes tune out but not tune all the way out and just kind of vibe.

Israel it is a sign of how brainpoisoned i have become that i saw a quartet of guys on the stage and thought, "ah yes, the guy in the different shirt is the lead, he has the tenor and the bass on either side of him, and the other guy is the bari". i'm in hell. good song though. i mean i guess. why is it happy birthday?

Malta their harmonies aren't really locking. given, i have a much higher bar for that these days due to the aforementioned brainpoison, but still, some of these chords are heinous. also the song is just sort of not good.

Germany song is alright except for the bridge which is unnecessarily cheesy. i mean, even for the thing that it is, which is a eurovision song.

Bosnia & Herz d... dino merlin? idk this one is weird, they're like conjugating french verbs or something and also this one was muted in the video archive i had and the dino merlin official youtube upload had terrible audio quality so i feel like i can't really judge it

Estonia the onstage aesthetic vibe of this is beautiful, and i like the song, too. it's a shame that it's not a good vocal fit for evelin. a clear precursor to randajad and good use of the stage too.

My top 23 1)Denmark 2)Estonia 3)Portugal 4)Iceland 5)Sweden 6)Austria 7)Belgium 8)Poland 9)Israel 10)Germany 11)UK 12)Slovenia 13)Spain 14)Croatia 15)Ireland 16)Turkey 17)Netherlands 18)Lithuania 19)Cyprus 20)France 21)Norway 22)Bosnia 23)Malta

shoutouts again to my friend rachel's prefsorter, because we can't always have gerbear

Miscellaneous commentary the little cgi tour of europe at the beginning was cute. but also very funny because of how squished together and contiguous everything was. lmao @ the host greeting the "distinguished guests" and everyone there in nice clothes. like wow the contest has changed in 20 years obsessed with these postcards btw. cartoon eve fully tits out. jesus represented as a hot guy in a suit. joseph and his brothers singing in barbershop harmony. the baby moses video game. priceless recaps are so short? i already have a hard time remembering how each song goes but like the recap snippets help absolutely not at all lol at the sun prop. it was a really excellent stage, honestly, a lot of contestants were able to use it really well, but after last year's debacle i just kept giggling whenever i saw the thing move. overall like...it's hard to judge the songs in this era, it's hard to rank them, because really i don't like most of them? like they just aren't really my style. i feel like for many of the 90s rankings the margins between songs are going to be very thin and i'm going to have trouble remembering a lot. i don't listen to a lot of 90s music so it's like... ok? sure? do i even know if this is good? no i don't!

[atimefordragons]

HE'S SO OBSESSED WITH ME, AND BOY I UNDERSTAND

☾♔; June 8, 2022 ☾♔; 6:32pm ☾♔; sotd: River - Ochman ☾♔; cotd: Kamala Khan ☾♔; Boyfriend Material ☾♔; High Fashion Layout (I Guess)

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: yeah, the title is a lie, I'm the one who's obsessed. lyrics from Taylor's "I Think He knows"

literally had to make a fucking template in photoshop, and it still took forever! at least this set is better than the celene and andreas one. yikes.

side note, this form was such a fun dive, because I never really think about what my characters want in like a romantic partner, or even a friend, I sort of design them to be what I like in relationship dynamics and think how they should be. so this was fun to try and expand my thinking.  

𝗕𝗢𝗬𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗠𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗 𝗜: 𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗗𝗨𝗖𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗣𝗟𝗘 urstyle.fashion/contest/5974-introduce-your-couple

𝗬𝗢𝗨

𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: Alexis de Angelis

𝗔𝗚𝗘: 26

𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀: a song of ice and fire, daenerys targaryen, dragons, winter, blizzards, maple syrup, the raptors (go raptors go), tolkien, dostoyevsky, tolstoy, history, cities, cars, driving, astronomy, space, the moon, disney, lilo & stitch, anime (big time nerd), sci-fi, fantasy, EUROVISION, peonies, rose gold, blue, pink, purple, sailor moon, the mandalorian and ONLY the mandalorian, the rest of star wars does not exist.

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀: americans, anti-dany's, stansa's (not sansa stark, but her psycho fans), game of thrones, conservatives, quebec, instagram/tiktok (aka influencers, urg, the scourge of the earth), woods, "nature" (she's glad it exists, she just doesn't want to be in it), bugs, slow internet, the goddamn patriarchy, and the fucking TTC.  

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿: a wife guy, if you're not obsessed with your partner you're doing it wrong. aside from that, someone... dreamy and enchanting, not a literal like fairy prince, but someone who makes the rest of the world invisible from just their presence alone. someone with a good heart, nice hair (jk, mostly), someone who will be there, no matter what, and who will always show up. she's prefers and honestly just needs someone mature and put together, at the very least someone who can stay calm and rational so that she can do the freaking out and the yelling.  

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿: an american. lmfao, can you imagine? that'd be a fucking nightmare (yeah, that's more clara than her oc's, but also all my oc's, we all hate america together). apart from clara's anti-american bias, someone who mansplains. there's being explainary, and then there's acting like the authority on a subject the other person has a fucking degree in, shut the fuck up. someone who is disloyal, gaslights, and is a fucking dick. being a bitch on it's own is fine, fun even, but to your friends, family, the people you're supposed to care about? you don't fuck them over, that's how relationships work. don't be a douchebag, that's why you're alone and no one likes you.

also, anyone who says bullshit like "girls don't like me because I'm a nerd and don't look like thor," no, girls don't like you because an asshole. and newsflash, only one person looks like thor, thor! idiots.  

𝗦𝗜𝗚𝗡𝗜𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥

𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: Sebastian Piper

𝗔𝗚𝗘: 31

𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀: coffee, cooking, history, magic, taylor swift (don't lie, she makes everyone feel things and there is no shame about it), tv shows about witches and magic (they're kinda funny and he's definitely not totally actually obsessed with the original charmed - he very much is), reading, wikipedia deep dives, mythology, autumn, halloween, monster movies, godzilla, carrie, stephen king, britney spears, kafka, kazka

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀: summer, mornings, kale, clients (god, they're the worst), annoying people (no, he will not spell out what he finds annoying, good luck to you), his little sister's mean streak (she was so nice when she was little and now she's so mean, and he's so shocked about it, like she didn't pick up that bitch ass behaviour from him), "rare" meat (it's literally just uncooked, you freaks), america

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿: he thinks he doesn't have a type, but it's definitely the type of woman who could kick his ass, and kick your ass. an "in love with your carnage" boy.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿: an insufferable know-it-all, and someone too gossipy, like, tv mean girls who make their whole personality about shit talking, that's so boring, you have nothing else to do with your life? delusionally self-centred people, the world revolves around the sun, not you, get some damn perspective.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Iceland to Eurovision with a plan to end capitalism... with cakes!

Meanwhile, in Iceland...

Iceland’s a peaceful nation, innit? So calm, so serene, they wouldn’t even want to squish a fly and would rather wish it a nice day if they were personified as a whole. Except that they’re actually not quite and firstly reacted rather massively negatively on the news of Israel going up for to host Eurovision 2019, even with 23,000 Icelanders signing a petition calling on the Icelandic national broadcaster to boycott the contest, and even the big Söngvakeppnin 2017 darling Daði Freyr signed it. I admire their courage but broadcasters are broadcasters and if they take proverbial decisions and later are fine with everything, I don’t see why wouldn’t try participating anyways, and THEN withdraw if there are issues with something, like last minute call from EBU to get their shit together with funding or a faulty national final contract...

Well, fuck your protests, RÚV said, and went ahead with another Söngvakeppnin edition in the works.

And boy I assume the protest was large af if only 10 entries ended up being chosen for the final cut... what was Iceland gonna do? Have 4 finalists in total? Well no, someone was gonna get a wildcard to round up the finalists in the end.

But enough about that. Out of all of those 10 acts, full of mostly okay songs, we saw a clear win for the ones and only - it's the anti-capitalist award winning techno BDSM bondage unicorn soft boy couple goals kids loving sprinkles and rainbows performance art project group Hatari that went and enjoyed their time in Tel Aviv already, with their kick-ass song, "Hatrið mun sigra".

And oh boy was it an exciting pick for Iceland. Do you remember their last year's entry? Well, this year Iceland decided to shit all over their love and peace mindset by presenting us with series of bold statements like "Life is meaningless!", "Happiness comes to an end!", "Europe will crumble!"... right after the year they were all about the choice we could make to help and to heal in different ways. Feels though as if we should have swapped the entries because with "Hatrið mun sigra"'s events coming to life, "Our Choice" sounds like an aftermath because with happiness ending, so are people's stabilities, and too many would indeed be dying in vain. And how the world is starting to learn all over again about the acceptance of one another, and all that. It truly is Ari in the streets and Hatari in the sheets. ;)

Let's take a minute to appreciate the entry itself though. It opens up with eerie buzzes, off-measure beat and a warning "huh!" shout, that leads us all into this beautiful musical kingdom. Its instrumental is badass. It's one hypnotic techno tune that could easily be used in a car commercial. Or a catwalk. Or a glorious boss fight in an 8 bit game. What makes it more unique is the vocal balance - Hatari's core force are the two cousins Matthías and Klemens, who created the band and recruited their friends to help them on tours I suppose, and now the friends are here with them in Tel Aviv. The thing that makes it somewhat eyebrow raising, despite being a damn fine techno piece, is the instant screaming of the lyrics in the verses (courtesy of Matthías) and the light angel-esque vocal sound that's kinda reminiscent of Sigur Rós's Jónsi (courtesy of Klemens). Yin-yang if you will. A subtle balance of the two, and even the Icelandic meme mother Morges pointed it out that if it were only Matthías's growls on the song or Klemens's falsetto, it would sound too much and people would be bored by it.

Other than this song being perfectly composed (even with including a god damn keychange) and making me wanna dance, there's an image tying it all together. I did say it earlier that one part of Hatari's many descriptions is BDSM and bondage. And this definitely is there on their imagery, especially on the Icelandic NF. The boxes, the choreography, the color red, the backgrounds... everything on here is life. The way Matthías gets one of the Hatari dancers by the neck at the very end of their NF performance is just... unexplainably flawless. Go watch it here.

Some might say that this whole thing is more reminiscent of AWS from last year, but this isn't quite true. AWS were simple boys with nothing much in mind for Eurovision other than to make a "typical metal show". Hatari are here with a proper message to dismantle capitalism. AWS were just fun, Hatari are both fun and condescending. AWS didn't really have all that buzz going on for themselves in the odds, Hatari are still sitting in bookies top 10 as of now. AWS didn't prepare anything shocking for the audiences other than playing really loud and the scream breakdown only coming in on the bridge of the song. Hatari is full on onto you with everything - the costumes, the words, and so on, and the screaming is already on with them verses. And Hatari have way more chances to be memorable than AWS by being completely outstanding in everything. We love bondage kings singing in Icelandic (the language's 2nd appearance in Eurovision from an Icelandic song in this decade, first time it happened in 2013). We truly do. (And so do I still love the AWS boys, don't mind me.)

So as a whole I'd like to say that I really, REALLY adore this. It's expressive, it's divisive, it's brave, it doesn't care if you hate it, it's there and it's divine. I didn't really piece my thoughts well together on this, but I will forever find a lot of nice things to say on it, after all this time, always. ♡ The whole team and the whole marketing from Iceland Music News is perfect. The song is perfect. The composition is perfect. The chorus and the chorus lyrics are love. The performance... could use some good camerawork, but still. I'm crying at how much this is beautiful. Iceland's alternative scene is banging and them finally submitting something from one of its many outskirts among all of those pop songs is a victory on its own. Love, love, love Hatari. I bow down to these great people for existing and ending up on Eurovision.

Now tell me, how are you not going to love a band that was noticed by Icethony Landtano himself? ★

And how are you not going to love a band that loves children? And cakes? If you don’t, then shame on you, really. ;p

Approval factor: no. ....... way I’m not going to approve this ;) I want more epic Iceland after that, too.

Follow-up factor: Actually, that's the best possible way of approval I've ever seen. It's a complete 180 of an entry jump that it's impossible to believe the angel Ari came before Hatari. Good job, Iceland! Keep going that good way!

Qualification factor: Well, this is a case of all or nothing, where an entry is so loudly and proudly different that you don't know exactly where is it gonna place. If AWS had some sort of struggles to qualify (they were 4 fucking points over Romania last year), so would have Hatari, but only if the televote doesn't give them enough love against the jury's hatred. But for now I'd remain extremely and utterly positive over the boys. =) The final will hear of that song about the dystopia, the power and powerlessness, the hope and hopelessness, and that if we don't remember to love, the hatred will prevail and the capitalism will overwhelm the world. (so I secretly hope for them to win too haha)

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Honestly, thank you RÚV for making Söngvakeppnin 2019 happen despite the petition. I love it how a band with the most shocking atmosphere won - kinda embodies the feeling of most of this nation's about what's going in Israel and Palstine. But no more on that. I'll not discuss that anymore. It's highlights time:

• At this point, who needs NF highlights if Hatari are highlights themselves. ♥ I love a token unphased contestant - the one that minds one's own business by not being overly happy - in fact, most of the things that occured to Hatari are, in their own words, "according to plan"! So they're all like, "yeah we entered and thanks to us being here, we're definitely winning this, and will definitely win Eurovision after winning that". Them drinking SodaDream in their tracksuits and not giving a single fuck about the surroundings, especially after being announced as qualifiers to the NF final, was an absolute #mood. They even were amazing on a show named 12stig (where Icelandic NF participants are talking about what will they do in the NF, what will they do if they make it to Tel Aviv after winning, etc.), with Matthías basically serving as the spokesperson for Klemens's piece of mind, and then them both doing a hand gesture,.. Communicating through one's whispers being voiced by a mastermind. Sounds like a horror movie concept.

• And no, I didn't love Hatari only - there was this one joyful great love pop song bearer finalist Tara Mobee whose song I liked. Other favourite acts include this indie blues number by a Faroese madame Kristina Skoubo, a silly pop/dance perfection by Daníel Óliver and a country-ish flavoured folk-ish pop song by Ívar Daníels. Granted they're too tame in comparison to Hatari, but they could have been other great alternatives for Eurovision! Unlike the two returning artists that competed... Hera Björk being one of them... she signed the petition against Iceland in 2019 Eurovision FFS! and yet she's here with her mind changed??

• Ari Ólafsson returning for a both winner reprise AND an epic and unexpected take on "Grande amore", one of the beloved Italian entries. Can't believe that actually became a thing but... here you go I suppose? Flawless vocals. If anyone deserves to repeat their ESC stint from Iceland, it's Ari.

• Other highlights of the final night were Yohanna reprising her 2nd placer smash hit "Is It True?" 10 years later and even doing an Icelandic "Shallow" cover with the hosts ❤ and even Selma from Jerusalem 1999 fame came on the show too, but only in the green room!

• That one time I saw Friðrik Ómar (one of the two returning artist potential contestants) wearing a Freddie Mercury shirt ❤

• This honest to God mess of a performance and honest to God mess of a song. The song was a football anthem from 00s ripoff, the guy looked like Lil Pump and sounded annoying ("BLÆ BLÆ BLÆ"), the girls were salvageable, the chorus is cute and the performance? "So how many colors and dancers do you want?" "Yes." I hated it but 'twas fun I s'pose.

• I loved laughing at certain things of Söngvakeppnin, like the random insert of all the other contestants into ads and a lot of times I had to see the recap of all the (super)finalists. That's the only non-musical highlight I have aside from postcards, sorry Eleni. ❤ Your repeat performance of "Fuego"/"Tómame" from the Spanish NF and your trashbag dresses were still sleek tho.

Think that's all I'm gonna talk about. For now I would just love to end this by saying that Hatari might be scary, but children indeed love them (a lot of Hatari support posters in the NF were held by children, some of them teens even had bondage masks lol. Besides, 2 of the main members (if you count the band’s drummer Einar alongside the main members list) have kids on their own so it's understandable). Hatari might be impudent, but it attracts some people who love crazy in Eurovision. Hatari might be too political, but they're here in Tel Aviv to raise awareness, not to outright fucking protest - they know their goddamn limits, okay?? So for now, I'd just like to wish everyone involved in Iceland's entry the best in their life and to know that they contributed to one of the best things that happened to Eurovision. Only the eternal glory to the Icelandic lords and saviours. HATRED CAN AND WILL PREVAIL, END OF.

Oh and cakes!

[nikatyler]

*shrugs* That previous post I made, about being too anxious to open the messages? Yeah, I was worried for no reason. It was exactly what I expected. So it’s fine, I’m not breaking down over anything. I’m the fool again. I’m used to it at this point though.

Moving onto...Eurovision. Can I just say I was disappointed? It was so boring. I don’t even remember most songs because they were just...I mean they were good, but for this show, I was expecting something crazier, something more memorable. I liked Iceland because they were so different from everyone else, Norway was cool, I think I liked Spain too, I remember Denmark was cute...I guess I liked our guys too. At first I didn’t like their song too much because to me it just seemed like any other song that is currently on the radio, but then when I compared it to the others, I felt like it’s one of the better ones. But then again, I’m biased because they represented my country. 11th place is good, even though last year was better. In my opinion, almost anything would be success for my country, considering this was only the third time we made it to the final. :D

How is studying for the exams going, you ask? Well...I feel like I know nothing. Even though I’ve been staring into the notes every single day. But then again, I’m like “yeah, this is simple, I’ve heard this a million times, of course I have to be able to explain it!”. I don’t know what I know and it’s scaring me a little. I know that I know something, but what if it’s not enough?

Well, the best news today (and probably the only reason why I’m not bitter)? The results of the writing exam came today. Not only I passed, I also got freaking 100% on it again. I don’t know how that’s possible but...fuck. Yes. Life is suddenly way better.

dandylion240 replied to your photo “Today has been frustrating. That’s all I’m going to say. Well, it...”

Congratulations on the awesome score on your exam! Don't worry about your sim stuff. I enjoy whatever you want to share with us.

desira-sims replied to your post “The results of two more exams (Czech and English) arrived…I don’t know...”

Yay! WTG!

alfalfalegacy replied to your post “The results of two more exams (Czech and English) arrived…I don’t know...”

CONGRATULATIONS!!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “The results of two more exams (Czech and English) arrived…I don’t know...”

Congratulations!!!

Thank you guys so much! Now for the worst ones, the speaking exams. Four of them. 15 minutes each. I’ll probably die but it’s fine.

desira-sims replied to your photo “10 Day Self Sim CAS Challenge: Another Time Period Me: Hmm, maybe I...”

lol. And you're rocking the 80's look. ��

Thanks haha :D I could see myself wearing something like this irl too. 

I’m so happy so much stuff from the past decades is coming back in style, I’m obsessed with it. I don’t always care about fashion but this is the one trend I’m going to follow...and even when it’s not trendy anymore, I’ll probably still be into retro and crap. I can’t believe it took me this long to get into it, actually.

lyrea replied to your photo “Siblings Interview Tag: Caleb and Tyler Rose Caleb: “Oh no, here we go...”

Great interview.

desira-sims replied to your post “Lol. As soon as I posted the interview, I lost two followers…some...”

lol. I giggled the whole interview. ��

simcatcher replied to your photo “Siblings Interview Tag: Caleb and Tyler Rose Caleb: “Oh no, here we go...”

I love them and I've missed them ♥ they're your blog mascott (yayay, the 2) as far as i'm concerned xD seriously though. I adore them.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Siblings Interview Tag: Caleb and Tyler Rose Caleb: “Oh no, here we go...”

Thank you for tagging^_^ Now I even have for whom to do this interviewXD and yay, I've missed these two I would never get bored of them!

Thank you guys so much! They’ll forever be one of my most favourite characters to write dialogues for so I’m glad someone still enjoys that. ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Of course I have to bump into someone I know when I’m looking like...”

Aw, they're really cute!

Thank you! Here’s a fun fact: I used Avery as a base for Lou and tweaked them. I just couldn’t get them right when I was creating them so I decided to cheat. 😅

madgnomes replied to your post “We’re in the ESC final what the fuuuuck ������”

I always laugh at this because every year there are just cute handsome guys from your country and it really is working ��

Yeah haha two times in a row, we got in with cute guys. Maybe that’s the way to go for us :D I remember a girl represented us two or three years ago and she was the first one from our country to ever get to the final, but in the end she wasn’t that good. She ended last or second to last, I don’t remember, but that was already success for us :D

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “What in the…am I running out of air and imagining things?”

I can see where it's going... :)

And I like where it's going:)

👀👀👀

That’s all I’m gonna say :)) :D

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “George’s partner Lou was coming too tonight, and they said they were...”

regan...:(((

I can understand her frustration a little (I mean, I wrote her, so I guess that makes sense)...I want to give her a hug and tell her that it’s alright, she doesn’t need anyone ;-;

lilleputtu replied to your photoset “Regan: “I wonder…have we seen each other before?” ??: “I’m not sure....”

Hell yeah Regan! Getchu that mermaid girlfriend you deserve!

After all this time...could this be the one for her? 👀

glammoose replied to your post “You ever come back home after an internet-less weekend and see you...”

Always lol

And in 99 % of cases, there’s no reason to be worried, I already know it but I’m still worried. -___- I really love my head sometimes.

[irkimatsu]

This is probably the closest I’ve ever cut it, but here it is! My final thoughts on this year’s Eurovision entries!

I’m a little antsy about getting to see it this year. You know that post I made about having off on Tuesday and Thursday? Apparently my schedule’s getting changed, and now I don’t know. And I’m not gonna know about Saturday until Monday – I could easily be in work for the entire final. Here’s hoping adult obligations don’t keep me from my Europop! (And that I don’t even have this job this time next year, although my ideal job would probably keep me away from both semis… eh, win some lose some.)

I tried to find a sorter so I could rank these more thoroughly, because I’m bad at doing that by hand, but I didn’t find one, so I’ll be doing my usual thing of listing alphabetically by country and sorting each song into categories. My categories are thus:

Favorite: My number one pick for the year! Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean the song I think is objectively, artistically best, or even a song I think is going to escape the semi – this is just the song I get the most enjoyment out of. You’ll see why I felt the need to clarify that in a bit.

Love: If I ranked these, these would get the 2nd – 5th spots. I adore these songs, and would be more than happy to see any of them win.

Like: Didn’t quite make the top 5, but I still enjoy them a lot, and don’t want them getting booted out of the semi.

Okay: Nothing objectionable, but doesn’t mean much to me personally. I get a little bit of joy when I listen to it, then it fades immediately after.

Indifferent: I don’t care for this song at all; it’s just not in a style that means anything to me. If I still can’t remember how it goes after two months, that’s a bad sign.

What: This song’s existence confuses me too much to give it a proper placement.

Biased: My opinion on this song is based on factors that have nothing to do with its intent. (aka the “song reminded me of fandom” category. Haven’t used this in a while. Good to see its return!)

Yet again, the “Hate” category has been cut, since nothing actively gets on my nerves for the second year in a row! (…except one, maybe, but that one has enough background info that… well, you’ll know when you get to it.) Songs in “Like”, “Okay”, and “Indifferent” are prone from shifting up or down one within that range depending on how I’m feeling that day; “Favorite”, “Love”, “What”, and “Biased” are locked.

Ranking under the cut!

Albania: “Ktheju tokës” by Jonida Maliqi – I can feel the effort going into this one, but… nah, not my thing. It’s so rare for me to be invested in an Albanian entry, huh? Sorry, guys. Indifferent.

Armenia: “Walking Out” by Srbuk – I don’t know how to describe my feelings on this one, unfortunately, but I do really Like it. Maybe it’s the head-held-high attitude that has me interested?

Australia: “Zero Gravity” by Kate Miller-Heidke – If this doesn’t have a completely batshit performance, I’m gonna be so disappointed. Her voice is certainly impressive! But overall I’m going for an Okay on this one. It’s fine, but I think the stage show is going to outshine the actual song.

Austria: “Limits” by PÆNDA – Oof, this one is so close, yet so far. It reminds me of some artist I listen to a lot, though I can’t place it… but it just seems… thin? If it had something else to it, it could have really been something, but as it stands it doesn’t leave much impact. Indifferent, and that feels like such a waste. Good vocals, maybe if it had better music. (Then again, maybe the sparseness is the point… but if that’s the point it’s not for me)

Azerbaijan: “Truth” by Chingiz – I dunno, I just really like the imagery here, of a man arguing with himself about a relationship that he knows is damaging, but it’s just so much easier to deny it. I particularly like the “Shut up about it!” element, adds to the self-argument thing. I love the concept, and as a song it’s not half bad, either. Like!

Belarus: “Like It” by ZENA – Oh, fuck yeah! A good way to tell if I’m going to enjoy a song – are people insulting it by saying it sounds 15 – 20 years out of date? If so, then it’s probably exactly my jam! It’s such a fun song I can’t help but dance to, and sometimes that’s all I really need. I don’t just like it, I Love it! (oh that was terrible)

Belgium: “Wake Up” by Eliot – It’s a nice beat! But I don’t think it really stands out among the competition. It’s fair enough, there’s just so many other songs I like better than it this year. Okay.

Croatia: “The Dream” by Roko – OH MY GOD WHAT IS HE WEARING. Indifferent, this is not a good song, but god damn I am so looking forward to the stage show, this is going to be the cheesiest shit

Cyprus: “Replay” by Tamta – This sounds a lot like last year’s “Fuego”. This is mostly a good thing! I loved “Fuego”! But the repetition does slightly knock its chances to land in my top 5. Still a firm Like, though.

Czech Republic: “Friend of A Friend” by Lake Malawi – It’s not easy to follow up on the sheer campiness of last year’s “Lie to Me”, but Lake Malawi put forward their best effort, and I appreciate it highly! The song’s pure, campy fun that gets stuck in my head every time I listen to it. Like! …though I tend to overthink the lyrics. What, they hear someone fucking in the next apartment and the singer’s first instinct is to swear she’s only a friend? Jumping the gun a bit much there, dude? =P

Denmark: “Love Is Forever” by Leonora – It’s a really cute song, and I appreciate all the language changes. But realizing what it’s actually about it what landed it in Like – at first I thought it was just a love song, but then I realized the call for peace and optimism and it hit me in the fuzzies. I know the political, Important songs usually irritate the cheese out of me, but I feel like this one actually put effort into the music, rather than trying to ride on their message to guilt trip a vote out of you. I admit it’d probably be in the lower range of Like if I actually ranked these properly, but it really is a good song!

Estonia: “Storm” by Victor Crone – I love how this one gradually transitions from a country song to an EDM song; I always miss the exact part where it does it, it just flows so well. The optimistic lyrics are up my alley, too. It’s a really good one, and I hope it does well! Like!

Finland: “Look Away” by Darude feat. Sebastian Rejman – As a huge 90’s/2000’s European electronica fan who teethed on “Sandstorm” back when no one really knew what an Internet meme was, I nearly shat myself when I heard Darude was going to be representing Finland this year. I have no idea who Sebastian Rejman is, but after this song, I’m gonna have to look into him! This song has such a powerful beat that hits right in my gut, exactly what I love from my music. Firm Love!

France: “Roi” by Bilal Hassani – It’s a cute little thing that I can’t help but appreciate on some level! I think it’s just an Okay for balance purposes, but it creeps into Like on occasion. Also I find the singer weirdly cute. I dunno, as a package it’s just endearing!

Georgia: “Sul tsin iare” by Oto Nemsade – I can hear the passion in his voice, but… no, this isn’t for me at all. People who have read my Eurovision posts before know by now that slow + non-English tends to equal a death knell for me. Sorry, stupid American coming through. Indifferent.

Germany: “Sister” by S!sters – I hate the artist name so much, let me get that out of the way right now. As for the song itself… I don’t think I’d care for it at all if I didn’t have an association with it, but, well, here I am – this song is so, so easy to assign to the Hikawa twins from Bang Dream. Sisters in constant competition who don’t want to be? That’s their entire arc. Admittedly that’s mostly on Sayo’s part, which kind of ruins the duet aspect, but… damn it, if I can’t imagine them singing this together and playing their guitars while members of their bands provide the rest of the accompaniment, what’s the point of living? I’m going Biased on this one.

Greece: “Better Love” by Katerine Duska – I have no idea why I’m having such a hard time clicking with this song, but it’s just not working for me. I’m sure it’s objectively good, but it doesn’t do a damn thing for me. Indifferent.

Hungary: "Az én apám" by Joci Pápai – A returning artist from 2017! Too bad I didn’t care too much then and I really don’t care now. Just like Georgia, this just isn’t my style, and no amount of objective appreciation can fix the sad fact that songs like this always sink to the bottom of the pile for me. Indifferent.

Iceland: "Hatrið mun sigra" by Hatari  – …right. Oh boy. Okay. Look, when I first heard there was gonna be an industrial song in this year’s Eurovision, I was fucking pumped. This was one of the two songs I looked into before properly listening to the finished playlist, along with Finland. I’m not always into industrial music, but when it’s good, it’s fucking awesome! I started it up, heard the music, was so ready for this to be a real contender…

…aaaaand then the vocals started up. I don’t think this is just “I don’t like industrial growling”, they really do sound quite bad. I still love the instrumental, and the chorus is nice, too… but those verses. No.

And then I looked up those edgelord lyrics, and started hearing stuff about the band, and I am 110% convinced this is a troll song, firmly destined for the What category. This is what you send to Eurovision to let everyone know how much you hate Eurovision. I figured it had no chance of getting out of the semi, at least partially because of the feeling that if it does, the band will feel like they failed.

…but I keep seeing it rank high on others’ lists, so… I have no fucking clue what to expect from this one!

Ireland: “22” by Sarah McTernan – It’s pleasant! But that’s about it. I used to listen to folksy stuff like this as a kid, so I guess there’s some nostalgia for it… but I haven’t been into it in a long time. Low Okay.

Israel: “Home” by Kobi Marimi – I often hear jokes about how winning countries will send non-impacting garbage just so they don’t have to host the Contest two years in a row, and songs like this are exactly why I believe them. There’s nothing wrong with it, the singer’s voice might even be good, but as a whole package it’s just so boring. It feels like it’s so much longer than three minutes – such a slog to get through. Indifferent.

Italy: “Soldi” by Mahmood – Oh, I really like this one! The “come va” bit always burrows itself in my head, and I do respect how personal it seems to the singer, with the blending of cultures. (I know I don’t always respect the personal aspect, but I love when “personal” doesn’t have to mean “bland-ass acoustic guitar ballad”.) Like!

Latvia: “That Night” by Carousel – One for the bin of “I can’t remember how this goes”. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just so forgettable. I’m trying to find something about it that stands out to me, but… nah, it’s just mush. Indifferent.

Lithuania: “Run With The Lions” by Jurij Veklenko – Even more mush. I can remember bits of it, at least, but the bits I remember don’t mean anything to me. Indifferent.

Macedonia: “Proud” by Tamara Todevska – I know I normally crap on ballads, but… I think I heard this song at a time I really needed to. I love the self-acceptance message, as corny and played out as it can be. I Like this one, it’s sweet.

Malta: “Chameleon” by Michela – This came so, so close to my top 5! I really do love the hell out of it! Such a good walking song. Like, but could have so easily been a Love if not for its competition.

Moldova: “Stay” by Anna Odobescu – Oh no. This is the first year I haven’t been head-over-heels in love with the Moldovan entry, and I feel like such a jerk about it. They finally decide to take themselves seriously and send something with a lot of passion! …and all I can do is sit here disappointed! I’m sorry! Low Okay for the “objectively great, I’m sure, but not my genre” thing. I know a lot of people love it, but I don’t think I would have cared for it from any country, and it being Moldova is just disappointing for me. They can of course do whatever they want, and good for them if it works out, but let me pout in peace

Montenegro: “Heaven” by D mol – This is the most I’ve ever unironically liked a Montenegrin song since I started watching the Contest in 2014, as cold as a compliment that is. It’s cute! But cute is really all it has going for it. I’m going with Okay, though that’s mainly from comparing it to everything else I’ve heard from Montenegro; if another country sent this, it could have easily landed lower.

Netherlands: “Arcade” by Duncan Laurence – I don’t get it. I know a lot of people have been heaping praise on this… but I don’t get it, and I feel like the arcade metaphor is insanely cheesy for the mood it’s going for. I can’t take it as seriously as it seems to want me to. Indifferent.

Norway: “Spirit In The Sky” by KEiiNO – I adore this song. Great music, great imagery, I feel like it’s gonna be a good stage show! The joiking took me a bit to get used to, but once I did, I do feel it adds a lot to the song. I cannot wait to see this song performed! Love! In a better world where I have taste, this song would be my Favorite, and even as it stands I’m pretty sure it’s my favorite song that has a chance in hell of actually winning. But as for my actual Favorite… we’ll get to that later.

Poland: “Fire Of Love (Pali Sie)” by Tulia – Little confession for those who were around in 2014 – I regret choosing “We Are Slavic” as my favorite song back then. I admit that I wasn’t really taking the Contest seriously and was somewhat choosing based on meme potential. Whoops. But the good news is, this song proves that I wasn’t entirely going on meme potential. We’re taking traditional Polish singing far more seriously this time, and I still like it! It’s a unique little song that stands out in a good way, and I love the shout singing. I’ve heard complaints about it, but I got used to it right away. Maybe because I’ve been listening to shouty rave stuff for such a long time? I’m used to this style of singing, and pleased to hear it working with a more traditional musical backdrop. Like!

Portugal: "Telemóveis" by Conan Osiris – Haaaaaa oh my god what the fuck. By all rights, this should be dumped in the “What” category and never talked about again… but this weird little song charmed me somehow. I have a bad history with never remembering Portugal’s entries, with them making so little of an impression on me that I always forget if they skipped 2016 or if their entry that year was just that boring. And as weird as it is, I don’t feel like it’s quite strange enough for me to dump it in the same category that I tend to reserve for unapologetic camp. So, you know what, for breathing some bizarre life into a country I wrote off a long time ago, I’m giving it an Okay. I flirted with the idea of putting it in Like just by comparison with everything else the country has sent, but that implies I actually want to see this in the final, and I’m not gonna go that far.

Romania: “On A Sunday” by Ester Peony – By sound, I think it’s just an Okay, but a respectably placed one. I do like it more than, say, Ireland or Moldova. But I’ve been listening to it a lot recently… mainly for shipping reasons. (JyushiHomu, for the curious.) But I also decided it was a fine song even before I made that connection, so I don’t think it belongs in Biased? I may be shooting low on this one because I’m afraid of my shipping goggles impairing my judgment. Maybe it really is a low Like, I don’t know. I’ll leave it here. It’s a nice song!

Russia: “Scream” by Sergey Lazarev – Oh, man, I was so hyped to see that Sergey was back! “You Are The Only One” was my favorite entry from 2016, and I’ve listened to his English Best Of thousands of times!

…so imagine my surprise to hear that it’s a ballad. Keep in mind my usual tastes in music, and my other favorite Sergey songs – “Take It Off”, “Stumblin’”, “In My Lonely Life”. I love him for the fun club nonsense. I’m shallow, I know. But then I managed to shake off my biases and listen to “Scream” for what it is and not just what it could be, and… yeah, it’s a good song. Sergey’s got good producers and a great voice. It’s still a Like. But I feel like if they gave this song to someone I didn’t recognize, it’d land lower.

Not like the other competitor here who’s returning from 2016…

San Marino: “Say Na Na Na” by Serhat – Oh hell yeah. When I first saw that Serhat was back, after I stopped laughing, I clicked it fully expecting some camp bait to throw at Karamatsu, drop in the What category, and spend the next two months gleefully taking the piss out of.

…that is not what happened. Instead, I instantly fell in love with it. Serhat may not make a convincing Casanova, but he sure as hell knows how to party! This feels ripped right from a 2000’s Europop act that leans on disco energy, and that is exactly my type of thing. I’m so sad that this is probably going to get stuck in the semi, because I am so wildly in love with it. I can’t believe that out of the two returning artists from 2016, I fell in love with Serhat, not Sergey! Instant Favorite, I accept my place as the only person in the world who actually wants to see this win. Party energy, optimistic lyrics, how am I supposed to put this below anything else?

Still throwing it at Kara, though

Serbia: “Kruna” by Nevena Božović – Remember what I said about songs I forget the instant they end? Yeah, this is one of ‘em. I just can’t think of anything to say here. Indifferent.

Slovenia: “Sebi” by Zala Kralj & Gašper Šantl – Kinda reminds me of a forgettable t.A.t.U album track. That’s not really a high compliment. I do like the vocals, but it’s one of those songs I can appreciate in the moment but don’t really seek out actively. Okay, and a low one at that.

Spain: “La Venda” by Miki – Just typing the title for this one is making me want to party! God this is a fun one to listen to. Party song about not being a bigoted dick! What’s not to Love? Looking forward to an entertaining stage show on this one!

Sweden: “Too Late For Love” by John Lundvik –  …you know that feeling when you think you should really love a song more than you do? There’s nothing wrong with it, I actually do almost like it… but I don’t seem to adore it like so many other people do, and I feel like a jerk about it. Okay because I don’t love it as much as everyone else does, but I won’t be upset to see it perform well. I don’t know what it is that isn’t resonating with me! I’m sorry! It’d probably get a Like if I wasn’t being influenced by other rankings!

Switzerland: “She Got Me” by Luca Hänni – Oh, this is a nice, fun little thing. I think I like it for a lot of the same reasons I like “Friend of A Friend”. It just sounds like the people recording it are having such a good time! Like!

United Kingdom: “Bigger Than Us” by Michael Rice – Nope, sorry. Grand ballad, yay, good for it, not my thing at all, nothing that stands out. Indifferent.

SUMMARY:

Favorite

San Mario

Love

Belarus

Finland

Norway

Spain

Like

Armenia

Azerbaijan

Cyprus

Czech Republic

Denmark

Estonia

France

Italy

Macedonia

Malta

Poland

Russia

Switzerland

Okay

Australia

Belgium

Ireland

Moldova

Montenegro

Portugal

Romania

Slovenia

Sweden

Indifferent

Albania

Austria

Croatia

Georgia

Greece

Hungary

Israel

Latvia

Lithuania

Netherlands

Serbia

United Kingdom

What

Iceland

Biased

Germany

[borisbubbles]

12. DENMARK

Rasmussen - “Higher ground” 9th place

Ok, so somehow, in a contest with a nautical theme, the one song which *literally* started with the line “Ships in the making, bound for a distant shore” never got to open any of the live shows??? ¿¿Que??

So, Denmark. Quite possible the opposite of my previous entry, yet its greatness is just as challenging to put into words? As much as “Taboo” was a inaccessible conglomeration of every possible fucking staging trick, so simple was “Higher Ground” It is a great song, but I find it hard to explain why. It is just so much fun? 

It’s like a chapter of the Edda Saga come to life, with its Old Norse chanting, banner-swaying and feigned-drunken slrrrrring uv wrrrrds creating a truly immersive atmosphere. (I love all things Norse, so I was never NOT going to stan this) I love how one of the backings looks like precisely like Conchita Wurst’s long-lost sister. I dunno, Higher Ground just shines on its own, without the need of convoluted gimmicks (tho still bless Malta’s souls for burying “Taboo” under them for no other reason than it (barely) fitting within their ad-funded budget <3). 

So it’s of no surprise that this ended up the Michał of the year, yes?

As you are well aware of, Eurovision is in a continuous process of ‘reinventing itself’, which is code for ‘rejecting its Euroschlager roots in favour of increasedly pallid Ultratop50 knock-offs’, like guuuuurls you can do better than that. Think of an entry in this year that was actually *original*. I come up with... “O Jardim”, “Mercy” and maybe “Hvala, ne!”? Congratz 3/43.  This shocking display of self-loathing creates a power vacuum for the few -for some godforsaken reason- critically panned Euroschlager anthems which *do* make it into Eurovision proper. As the only entry in this year (out of 43) which can be described as “classic eurovision schlager”, “Higher Ground was always going to attract a lot of attention. Add in a few clear-as-crystal references to Game of Thrones (Rasmussen is literally Tormund + guyliner and a weave), a ubiquitous Viking tone and just general dramatic badassery, you’ve found yourself an audience’s fave and the bane for any jury chairperson’s existence. 

This is the long explanation why “Higher ground” is actually a great entry. It is the only entrant, in a year so widely praised as the “first serious contest in years”, that actually feels traditionally Eurovision.  For a brief moment, we are hooked up on pure Classic Eurovision, the term often used to describe the time when “Eurovision Songs Were Still Good”. 

And yes, it is highly ironic (and tragic) that the one entry that reminds many of that very murkily defined time period venerated by the critics, is also one that was critically panned by crappy self-important jurors. Would it that jurors had any self-awareness (I’m pretty shocked the EBU were able to find 43 rooms big enough to house the jurors and their egos), but oh well.

I suppose this is where I address the Melofestivalen shit, yes?

So, the jist of it is this: Two Swedes write “Higher Ground” for Melodifestivalen and get brutally rejected by Christer for reasons I can only guess, as HG was far better than anything in Melfest this year.. (Christer = Melfest’s Jeff Probst). 

Considering that Denmark has a herstory of recycling past Swedish trends- omg reminder that the 1986 Danish entry was a frame-by-frame carbon copy of the 1985 Swedish entry 😂,  please enjoy the pictorial evidence I have provided in support of this statement

 ps: I love that the Danish entry was called “You are full of lies” so unselfaware, so meta, so Denmark <3 

but I digress. Anyway,

Considering that Denmark has a herstory of recycling past Swedish trends, they of course picked up the "Higher ground”, put it in DMGP, substituted the Swedish singer with a Danish one and voila! The melfest reject wins DMGP with his fingers up the nose, cementing his place amongst the canon as an audience darling, and YES scoring significantly better than Ingrosso in the televote 😍The discrepancy shown by televote wasn’t as hilar as “Colour of your life” rising from last to sixth with one sudden stroke (given that Sweden had a higher combined score than Denmark somehow 🙄) but whatever, the ending was perfect because much like the Edda, this Viking Saga also ended with the evil trickster getting swallowed by the World’s Serpent. Sorry, Christer, should’ve taken the LEEP LAKYU WERBWND; FRR HIYRRRR GRWWWWWWND!!!!!

RANKING SO FAR:

12. Denmark (Rasmussen - “Higher ground”)

13. Malta (Christabelle - “Taboo”)

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1. I couldn’t really fit it into the narrative, but the actual reason why Rasmussen is only 12th and not higher is because I found the act kind of visually underwhelming. (the snow at the end is particularly sad) Like I said, the song is great and I often have it on loop, but the act is a bit too small for a stage that big.

2. That said, “Higher Ground” is by far the song I’ve listened to the most often this season, which bodes well for any future positive morphs when I rewatch this year in the distant future.

3. Rasmussen bombing with the jury probably has more to do with the lack of gimmicks than the genre of the song. Like I said, the song pretty much carries itself, so if you stop to ponder and list all the things great about it, it all boils down to “the song is catchy and fun”, which is not what juries look at (juries love intricate acts, layered complexity and technical finesse, none of which are particular strengths of this entry)

4. Yes, I think it’s MASSIVELY hypocritical to glom onto songs such as “A Matter of time” under the pretence of “It’s a good song” when yeah it was, but everything else was shit and then subsequently ignore “Higher Ground” for being “only a good song”. wtf.  

5. While I do enjoy trashing the juries on a regular basis, be aware that during the actual Jury Era of this show, none of the juries were professional. In fact, when I rewatched 1978 and 1985, both times the hosts were ADAMANT to remind the audience that the juries were in fact NOT professionals, but 10 randomly selected civilians (Celeb and non-Celeb) with no direct ties to the music industry whatsoever. This is precisely why entries such as Riva, Bucks Fizz and Toto Cotugno managed to win a ’jury vote’ with a comfortable lead lmfao imagine that happening now. Anyway, the bottom line is that today’s “five professionals” jury system fucking sucks and has to be swallowed by Jörmundgandr also. 

6. ’Eurovision used to be good before’ is such a weird statement, yet I hear it all the time in relation to the contest (by people of my age group????) Like... what exact years are you refering to, cuz like... the 2000s were trash and I can’t honestly think of a decade as consistently good as the 2010s lol? We haven’t had a weak year since 2012!! (but of course, most of the people I’ve talked about this in person have, by their own admission, not seen a year since 2010 so how would they know lol)

7. If we assume that 'Eurovision used to be good before’ refers to the time when Eurovision was song-centric, that doesn’t make a lick of sense either? If you’re old enough to remember the late 1960s your taste is probably irreconcilable with mine anyway. And yes, while it took until #London1977 before we finally got a ‘gimmicky’ year, this also made for one of the most watchable, consistently fun contests ever, -even to this day- while “song-centric” years like 74; 75 and 78 are grueling to sit through nowadays unless you have the taste of the average Söngvakeppnin voter. Gimmicks were a part of ESC even during the Chanson Era, as the language barrier was a massive hurdle for any song not sung in French. And true, the “gimmicks” then weren’t more than “performing barefoot” or “having a key change”, but good lord it’s the sixties, flat, boring French Chansons dominated and only because everyone fucking understood French, SO GRASPING AT STRAWS HERE.

 8. The funny thing is that Denmark didn’t copy Kikki Danielsson’s evergreen once, but twice. 😂 “Hallo Hallo” (DK1990) was just a repackaged “Du er fuld af løgn“ (DK1986), which as I said, was itself just a slightly different “Bra Vibrationer” (SW1985). It’s seriously some Bra Vibraception shit.

9. I will never stop shitting on Melfest 2018. It was pure Tropical House Torture and yes, Rasmussen > literally everything in that, including the entries I actually like (which were... Jessica Anderson, Ida Redig and... um... Edvard Blom? Rolandz? Margaret? Samir and Viktor???? *gunshot*) 😂/🙄@ rescinding their roots for 2014′s musical fade. Pray that Christer never discovers reggaeton - though who am I kidding, it will dominate ESC selections in 2020, bank on it.

10. Now that I’ve mentioned them, one of “Higher Grounds” songwriters (Niklas Arn) actually was the bass player for Rolandz (who were my second faves in the finale by fucking default). Robbed twice, both in Melfest and outside of it, smfh.

11. Oh and I think “Higher Ground” in the hands of Sweden, absolutely would’ve been guaranteed top five (watch how most of these “professional” jurors suddenly would *like* it because, you know, Melfest Winner) and that’s all the humiliation I need. That said, I doubt “Higher Ground” ever would have actually won Melfest (it has the Heartbreak Hotel “dominates televote, gets screwed over by juries” label stamped all over it) but oh well, that’s just because Melfest SUCKS and the “International Juries” are a fucking farce. So it worked out for the better that “Higher Ground” was in fact not in Melfest, I think. 

12. Rasmussen is actually the first Danish ESC contestant since Emmelie de Forest that I’ve liked. Gratz? 

[tenitchyfingers]

idk why youre getting so angry, im really sorry you feel that way? italys songs for the last few years have all been really good, regardless of what language theyre sung in? and theyve all done pretty well too?

yeah, that’s my point. Like I’m not saying other countries’ songs are bad or other countries never sent worthwhile songs but when the votes are in there’s always this thing where pretty much nobody in north europe votes for us, we barely ever get votes from our own neighbors (NOT EVEN FUCKING SAN MARINO VOTES FOR US, THOSE FILTHY TRAITORS) even though that seems to be an unwritten rule in ESC, but everyone always inevitably votes for fuckin... Sweden, and when it goes well we’re relying on sums of like, 2 points from here, 4 points from there, 3 points from that other country, 1 or 2 countries giving us 10 or God forbid 12 points... which are never enough to end up even in the top 3. Yeah I know Il Volo did end up third iirc but honestly they weren’t even remotely our best act in the 2000s and tbh I’m kinda sick of Italian music being associated with opera bc we have tons of experimental artists, electronic music, awesome DJs, innovative songwriters, but somehow we’re forever stuck with the fame of having only opera singers. Of course, nothing against opera but like... musically-wise we evolved from that and I feel like the association with opera is part of this collective imaginary people have of us where we’re stuck in the 60s and we never moved on from La Dolce Vita’s aesthetic, to the point where I would call that a fetish. I’m so sick of it that now I have a knee-jerk reaction of rejection whenever I even hear talking about opera, and yet people insist on only acknowledging us when we sing opera. God forbid we try singing about something socially relevant. 

Anyway my point is: if people liked a corny love song with little to no production value over Occidentali’s Karma, we’ll never have a chance at winning again. Because even when we have the perfect Eurovision song Europe doesn’t like us as we currently are (and not as some sort of romantic fantasy) enough to vote for us. It’s not just me saying that when people say they love Italy they’re really saying they love everything about it except for Italians.

[koenigsideblog]

5-8? :D

Thank you! :D Oh shit these are difficult ones because I love SO many songs/bands/albums but okay I’ll try:

5. Favourite song right now - Several, but I’ll give the one anyone reading this is least likely to have heard: Werewolf By Night’s “You Can Countach Me”. I literally only found this song because I was googling for Lamborghini Countach pictures one time and the cover art came up. Obviously I had to check out the music and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

6. Favourite album of all time - I’m going to say Black Sabbath’s “Headless Cross” because by some weird fluke it’s at the sweet spot of basically everything I love in traditional metal. The vocals are gorgeous (and in a comfortable range for me to sing along to the whole way through), the guitars are divine, and the semi-concept demons-and-witches motif it’s got going on is exactly the sort of thing I want in my heavy metal thankyouverymuch. It’s also got “Call of the Wild” with that line about “only in the grave are there no dreams!” which sends a jolt through my heart every time I hear it because it feels true every single time. Bless this album.

7. Favourite song of all time - oh sod it, Lordi “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, just for the sake of that glorious night in 2006 that I spent watching in total and incredulous joy as country after country called in “Finland, douze points” until reality basically broke. People talk about representation a lot. I, metalhead, outsider, freak, monster-lover, have never felt so represented in my LIFE as I did when that godsdamned song took over the fucking Eurovision Song Contest and suddenly EVERYONE knew who this band were that I’d already been raving about for a year. I have A Lot Of Feels about Lordi, I always have had for Reasons, and seeing them triumph when all my mates had told me they’d crash and burn was… more than special. So yeah, this.

8. Favourite artist of all time - Iron Maiden. By virtue of having been my favourite band for longer in total than anyone else, despite the others who rotate in, and the only band (thus far) that I have a tattoo for. They weren’t the first band I got into, or even the first metal band, but they were the first band who truly made me go “Yes. I BELONG here.” I was fifteen and the album was “Fear of the Dark”. Some things stay with you forever. (Honourable mentions, though, to: Children of Bodom, Shining (Swe), Darkthrone, W.A.S.P., Lordi.)

[salistenandreview]

My thoughts on Eurovision 2018--reviews by country

So, I consider myself metal, or at the very least, rock n roll. I don’t really fit the stereotype, but it’s the music I grew up on and it has been my one everlasting love my whole life.

That being said, I have a sort of annual tradition that I started sometime in the past 10 years. One summer I visited Germany and learned of Eurovision, a song contest held in the European countries as a way to promote peace yet give the natives of each country a sense of pride in their country competing through music. (I guess soccer isn’t enough, or isn’t peaceful enough.)

Anyway, since then, I’ve always made it a point to go to https://eurovision.tv/ and see what songs and what countries are in the contest each year. I’m doing my reviews of these songs/videos pretty much at the last minute this year, since the contest is going to be over come Saturday.

So I crammed and watched all the videos tonight. My notes for my impressions of each country are listed below, in alphabetical order. The majority of these songs are generic pop, which I find rather disappointing. Last year had much better submissions overall.

My TOP 5 favorites this year are: 1--Hungary 2--Czech Republic 3--Switzerland 4--Denmark and 5--Iceland If I hadn't heard Switzerland and been impressed, Norway and Moldova would have been on here tied for #5 for me, but Switzerland jumped up there and bumped them

NOW, without further ado:

Albania--As it’s not in English I don’t know what this song is about (reading the lyrics translation tells me it’s a standard love song), BUT I really like the sound of it. The performance art looking stuff for the video is pretty neat too.

Armenia--OK, I’m digging this too. It’s definitely not dancey pop. It’s more intense. It could be mistaken for a metal band’s ballad. The visuals from the video are pretty decent too.

Australia--This lady has a nice voice, but the song overall is generic pop and not really grabbing me.

Austria--More radio friendly generic pop. But I’m betting the dance remix to this would be interesting at raves

Azerbaijan--And here comes the dancey pop. Nothing really to say about this song. It’s radio friendly, it works for background sound, but nothing that really grabs me.

Belarus--This video has some visual elements that make me cringe. The song overall flows pretty well. This song makes me think of Panic! At the Disco, but without Brendan Urie’s edginess to it

Belgium--This song is boring. It basically sounds like it belongs on a movie soundtrack as a song that is playing softly in the background while some low-key action is going on to take us into the next scene. *yawen*

Bulgaria--This song makes me think of Enigma. It’s synthesizers and airy fairy sounds.

Croatia--Croatian Mariah Carey does a sort of lounge act type song. But it’s all sizzle and no steak.

Cyprus--Definitely dancey dance pop, and the lyrics are kinda silly, but the song overall has a good sound to it, and this lady knows what she’s doing. No wonder in her country she is the “Queen of Pop”

Czech Republic--This guy is so dorky cute. I’m liking the jazz elements and he seems to know his way around how to rap and keep a good rhythm. As I’m doing these in alpha order, so far this one is BY FAR my favorite.

Denmark--Hello sexy vikings. This song belongs in an epic movie about viking heroes. Currently liking this one in spot #2 after Czech Republic

Estonia--This lady has a very beautiful operatic voice. The song overall is kinda meh though.

FYR Macedonia--First part of the song I keep thinking “This lady is singing pop music over the beat to one of the levels of Super Mario World”. Then after that, generic dancey pop.

Finland--Quick! Someone get Tobi Sammet to fix this song and make it more metal, the lyrics/melody are too good to be some weird ass pop song. The visuals have some good edginess to it. But for real, make this song metal and it will seriously kick some ass. If Tobi isn’t available, see what Devin and Andy Oliver of I See Stars can do with it.

France--As is often the case, the French somehow manage to be disappointing and lofty at the same time. The French participant last year was so much better.

Georgia-These men have very lovely voices, and the song is pretty. However, this sounds like a glorified college a cappella group.

Germany--Germany decided to chance it on a Youtuber this year. He does have a very nice voice, and this song could probably get played on any station where they play Bruno Mars. So to me, it’s good but it’s not great.

Greece--The song at the visuals work well together. Running through the woods on the search for something. This is another song that sounds like it should be in some epic movie with vikings or knights or something like that in it.

Hungary--FINALLY! Someone decided to give something metal another shot. It’s low-key metal but the elements are there. This one just jumped to my #1

Iceland--aww, this boy is so precious. I want to hug him and protect him forever. He’s a beautiful singer and the song is pretty without being boring. He’s currently my #4

Ireland--Another angel-voiced boy singing about love in a sad way, so another song that could be played on the radio on a station that plays Bruno Mars. While this song doesn’t grab me, the gay-positive vibes from the video might be what wins Ireland the contest. But I personally put this on about the same level as the song from Germany, it’s good but not particularly great.

Israel--I have no clue what this lady is doing. This song is wtf? Did Desiigner write this song for her?  I”m very confused and a little scared.

Italy--Nope, just nope. These guys don’t even sound like they are singing, but just sort of chanting along in a rhythm that isn’t consistent, with some background music in. Way to flop, Italy.

Latvia--I mean, yeah, I see what you’re doing here...but hasn’t this been done a million times already? Very generic female vocalist pop.

Lithuania--If I liked this girl’s voice (something about it kind of annoys me), I’d probably like the song more. It’s kind of boring piano based pop though.

Malta--This song took over a third of the video’s time before it actually started, and then once it did it really went nowhere fast except to generic dancey-pop town. With the buildup of the visuals I was hoping for a bit more of something.

Moldova--I’m a little surprised but I actually rather like this song a lot. I think I’ll put it as #5 for me currently. Maybe it’s just a refreshing break from all the disappointment of the preceding songs with their overdone dancey pop.

Montenegro--Digging the visuals, the guy has a good voice. The song sounds like one a minor character would sing in an opera, where he whines that he’s not a major character because he isn’t loved enough to be anything more than a sidekick

Norway--OK, this is delightful. It hearkens back to 80’s videos on MTV. So cute. Tied with Moldova for #5 currently

Poland--more generic pop that sounds exactly the same as the other generic pop. They even have the same chords.

Portugal--I pretty much just skipped through this video on like 6 seconds intervals, and nothing EVER changed. Boring.

Romania--This song took forever to go somewhere. Lots of potential (once it finally picks up and starts doing something) but just doesn’t make it up there in the top 5 for me.

Russia--once again, boring generic pop. And I think Russia is trying to win a sympathy vote or something. *SMH*

San Marino--Generic pop, with a girl who raps, and robots. Um, ok.

Serbia--This song went all over the place. Epic, tribal, pop. I don’t hate it. But not entirely on board with it. Seems like it’s trying just a bit too hard

Slovenia--nice choreography. It’s a simple pop beat, but it’s not beating a dead horse like a lot of the other pop stuff above.

Spain--OK, it’s a sweet love song. But I’m not really digging either of their voices. Too whiney sounding

Sweden--OK Sweden, 2 things. 1--You did this before with Erik Saade, and frankly he was much better at it. 2--All these other countries are submitting Bruno Mars sounding boys, and if you’re not going to go metal (which you’re the best in the world at, btw), can’t you at least submit someone who is really fucking edgy like Tove Lo???  You make me sad Sweden. This boy is ok, he’s adorable, but the song is bland.

Switzerland--I honestly thought I was going to hate this, a brother/sister duo? But I am very pleasantly surprised and this song kicks some ass! I’m putting it at #3 between Czech Republic and Denmark

The Netherlands--I seriously appreciate that there’s some songs on here that’s not boring generic pop. But this sounds like country music. This would be in my top 10 but not my top 5.

Ukraine--This guy is sexy. The song is pretty good. Better than good, but still not great. It makes top 10 but not top 5.

The UK--More generic pop. I don’t know why I bothered, since the UK in particular never really even TRIES with this contest. They just phone it in.

[borisbubbles]

14. Cyprus

Eleni Foureira - “Fuego” Runner-up

What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing and that resistance is overcome. --Friedrich Nietzsche

Judging by that quote, Eleni must be a very happy woman because she has overcome a LOT. She entered Eurovision with a slew of drawbacks: As a sexually confident woman with a sultry song, she was always going to inspire contempt. As a fugitive Albanian, the Greek support other Cypriot entries had would be only conditional for Eleni at best. Her voice (or apparent lack thereof), of course, was a major point of discussion, among Greeks and Eurovision Tumblr Bloggers alike (ahem). As someone who was hyped and pimped by her Loud Obnoxious Fanbase as someone better than she actually was, she was always going to alienate neutrals by proxy.

So going into this year, Eleni faced a fairly uphill battle. Guess what?

She fucking slayed it.

From the moment this woman, no, this GAZELLE, serenly glided onto the stage, unfazed, confident and battle-ready, she was snatching weaves left, right and centre. Any man would pay the price of sweet surrender, for the promise in her eyes it was so tender. She provided a action-pumped show that was captivating, mesmerizing even, for a full three minutes. My God, did “Fuego” look good. 

Out of all the acts that could’ve won the Sasha Jean-Baptiste Raffle, I’m glad “Fuego” did because Eleni absolutely was the one whom I felt needed it the most. Partially because Eleni is an utter gem of a person. She’s the epitome of the Lovable Dimwit Archetype (”Eleni what does your song mean?” “it means... yeah yeah, fire ^__^”) Mostly because Eleni had two pretty big problems: She has a fairly crappy voice and she has a fairly crappy song.

The voice I don’t mind though. Yeah, it’s not as crisp as the rest of the top five (literally crisp if we count Moro’s, whose voice sounds like someone crushing doritos with their bare hands), but Eleni’s vocals being shit was telegraphed way in advance so idek how you could be shocked at this fucking stage. For all the buzz it generated, I expected way worse? Eleni’s vocals don’t detract from the experience and at times even enhance it. Her voice just... withers at the funniest of moments:

And then the disaster note gets echoed around the Altice Arena TWICE <3 (also “Yeah Eyes of a Linus <3)

The song, however, I mind significantly more. Surely Cyprus made the most out of what they were given and “Fuego” was an excellent frame for that brilliant act, but Dear God. I’ve said it several times before, but “Fuego” would make an excellent winner in two-thousand-and-EIGHT, but not two-thousand-and-fucking-EIGHTEEN. Even by Eurovision’s hopelessly antiquated Musical standards (”Hey guys we found out about this CRAZE that’s sweeping the musical scene we should add it to all our entries” “what’s it called?” “Dubstep” -- Eurovision in 2013), “Fuego” is hopelessly dated. It’s a nice throwback to the halcyon days of the Eastern Miniskirted Goddess (and “Fuego” is better than, say, “Secret Combination” and “Düm Tek Tek”), but this is not even remotely near “My Number One”, “Qele Qele” or “Shady Lady” levels of glorious hip-shaking femdom imo. 

“Fuego”’s utter lack of originality also came to the attention of the Eurosnobs who began disliking Eleni for... the fucking wrongest, stupidest reasons why am I not surprised? “UM SHE’S LIKE BEYONCE HOW AWFUL” First of all, Beyoncé doesn’t fucking have a monopoly on this type of music, Second of all, you’re making it sound as if being like Queen Bay is a bad thing??? Third of all,  STFUUUU!!! WHY EVEN WATCH EUROVISION IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF THIS DESPERATE SLUTPOP ANTHEM

At the end of the gay, I really like “Fuego”. Well, that is to say, I like what it became on the Eurovision stage, but that’s ultimately what matters most. Despite the hate she got, Eleni absolutely deserved to finish as high as she did based on her live performances. On the flipside, if I were to never listen to “Fuego” again, I wouldn’t miss it, at all. Now that we’re ready to fully move on to the next tier, I do have *higher* “spam replay button on Youtube” standards that “Fuego” sadly, does not meet. STILL A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN NETTA THO

RANKING SO FAR:

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1) I would argue that Eleni probably had the best underdog story out of everyone this year. This year had plenty of them, many of which are still in this ranking (Ieva, Eugent, DoReDoS, etc), but there really is something to be said about the constant barrage of persecution, xenophobia and mockery Eleni had to deal with and overcome in both LIFE and this contest. Pity she wasn’t a chicken woman or it would’ve won her the contest.

2) In case anyone wonders, I was pretty much “France or Estonia or DIE” for pretty much the entire season, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t too impressed with the top five we got (um, yeah not like I didn’t already boot 4/5 of them lul) Out of the DIRE top five we were given, Eleni probably should have won? (I loved Germany -obviousspoiler- but moreso because they didn’t win) Ugh I can’t with this year sometimes.

[atimefordragons]

100 Intelligence, 0 Wisdom || EHS

☾♔; June 17, 2020 ☾♔; 12:26am ☾♔; sotd: Tuhje Dekha To (DDLJ)   ☾♔; cotd: Dick Grayson   ☾♔; Elite Highschool ☾♔; Side/NPC Profiles

𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: lol, a summary of all 5 Sheremetev kids

----------->UPDATE: description abandoned. The group was shutdown and I've been kicked from the discord, so there's no point in finishing this set. I'll just make a new one when I inevitably recycle the characters.

Most of their profiles were done anyway, but whatever, I’m not putting any more effort into something I’m not involved in anymore.

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

【𝕀ℕ𝕊ℙ𝕆 ℂℝ𝔼𝔻】@ maybones

As always, lolz. Soz for always using you as inspo, but you are the unrivaled Queen of Talent and Set making.

Was specifically inspired by this set: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2523719 And as always, failed in mimicking it.

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

I have made a new version of Tuhje Dekha To: Tuhje Dekha Toh ye jana sanam Main tuhje nufrat karti, kuti kamini

Loose Translation: When I saw you beloved, I knew That I despise you, you fucking bitch

(kuti kamini doesn’t literally mean fucking bitch, but that’s the emotional weight, or inflection or whatever behind it tbh - it doesn’t mean bitch though, like, from a literal translation, it kinda means bitch, bitch, since kuti and kamini both mean bitch)

Lol, ya, it doesn’t really flow with the music, but whatever. I’m fucking pissed and TDT was stuck in my head, so the lyrics went from love to rage.

☆──════ ⋆ ☽ ⋆ ☾ ⋆ ════──☆

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘

The Sheremetev’s are a unique bunch of siblings, in that not a single one is biologically related to another. All, but the youngest were adopted by Ivan Borisovich Sheremetev, his youngest, and only biological, child eventually passing into his custody. They’re a family of 7, Ivan, their father, Feodor Brezhnev, their butler/emotional grandfather, Rodya, the big brother, Adya, Emil, and Shion, the NOT triplets, and Erasyl, the brat- I mean baby. Because they’re not his biological children, they’re often labelled as charity cases, though they can pretty much brush it off at this point. Since Ivan does not make a blood distinction between his kids, Erasyl is often thought to have been adopted too. Are they just the batfam repackaged as Russian bourgeoisie? lol, yeah.

The House of Sheremetev are former Russian nobility, and in the age of the Empire, were amongst the wealthiest and most influential families in Imperial Russia. They held many high commanding ranks in the Russian military, governorships and were given title of "Count" (Граф graf), which in Russian society was the third highest, the first obviously being the rank of Tsar, followed by Prince (Княз�� knyaz) - a Russian prince was not necessarily royalty, but more equivalent to a western Duke. Notable Sheremetev's include Yelena Sheremeteva, who was the third and final wife of Tsarevich Ivan Ivanovich (1554–1581), the son of Ivan IV (better known to history as Ivan the Terrible), and Fedor Sheremetev, cousin of Tsar Mikhail I and head of government in 1613–18 and 1642–46.

During the revolution, the line that led to the current Sheremetev's stayed in Russia. A handful were executed, but one became a party man and ardent supporter of the regime. By the time of the union’s collapse, numerous members of the Sheremetev family had served in the government, military, and KGB throughout the existence of the Union. Boris Sheremetev, father of Ivan, was a member of the Council of Ministers when it was dissolved in 1991, and Anastasia Sheremeteva, Ivan’s mother, was a high ranking member of the KGB. During the upheavel of the economic shift from communist to capitalist, and mass privatization of the Russian and post-Soviet state economies, both Sheremetev parents were killed in highly suspicious circumstances. Their murders remain unsolved, though were blamed on Bratva’s. The Sheremetev’s had already taken part in Gorbachev’s attempt to create a mixed socialist economy, and during the post-Soviet transition period, they bought numerous government contracts and assets, primarily in the arms, oil, and energy industries, quickly establishing themselves as Oligarchs in the new world order. In the modern day, all Sheremetev assets are controlled under the banner of Sheremetev Enterprises (Шереме́тевы Компании Sheremetev  Kompanii), often shortened to SKomp. Due to the industries, and their closely maintained friendship with the Russian government, the Sheremetev family is amongst one of the wealthiest in Russia and the world at large.

Ivan Sheremetev, current head of the family and their business, is the only child of Boris and Anastasia. Their respective jobs already came with a level of paranoia and strict safety measures in the family, but their deaths made Ivan far more cautious and obsessive. Ivan was a teenager when his parents died (somewhere between 15-18) and he’s basically become a doomsday prepper, but instead of a Zombie invasion or whatever, he’s more concerned that some goon will invade his house. Bitch has the most insane and overkill security system in the world, plus he does all that martial arts and marvel superhero training. And then he went and had kids, and somehow managed to become even more hypervigilant, makes them all take at least one “bad bitch, kick your ass” type class (judo, krav maga, etc). He rarely drinks in public, fucking nerd even drank gingerale and pretended it was alcohol so he could keep his wits about him. He used to masquerade as a party boy to keep people disarmed around him, but after adopting children, especially once he had the non-triplets, he just acts as the truth; tired father. 100% uses them as an excuse to avoid parties and the media (lol, he’s just a brooding loner type who has maybe 12 friends, and 5 of those are his kids). Ivan is bad at expressing emotions, but genuinely loves his kids, and is simultaneously the most laid back and most helicopter parent ever. The kids are out late? It’s okay, I trust them, and they’ll call if something bad happens. One of them fell off the monkeybars on the school playground? I AM SUING THEM FOR CHILD ENDANGERMENT!

𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐕 ➤AGE: 18 ➤BIRTHPLACE: Yakutsk, Russia ➤RESIDENCE: St. Petersburg, Russia ➤BIRTHDAY: March 21 ➤FACE CLAIM: Simon Nessman

➤PERSONALITY OVERVIEW: Overall, he’s a pretty decent guy. Big, big brother energy, also has a lot of dad energy, and is a mother hen. The type of guy that says “you kids these days”, even though he’s barely a year older. Rather sarcastic, but it’s mostly playful, loves a pun. Is pretty and petty, kind of a hoe, we got a male Anto here. Somersaults and does splits and other flippy shit completely randomly while walking, just ‘cause he can. He’s extra like that. Loves to tease his younger siblings, and will purposefully embarrass them, he will yell across campus to do so, “HEY ERASYL, REMEMBER HOW YOU GOT SCARED BY THE CAT LAST WEEK AND SNUCK INTO MY ROOM!” Has also yelled relationship advice and dating tips. Also more explicit tips. Despite his embarrassing tendencies, hoe nature, and general playfulness, apart from Feodor (the butler), Rodya is the certified adult™️ of the family, when any of the other Sheremetev kids have a problem, they all go directly to him, skipping over Ivan, who also goes to Rodya when he’s got a problem (but has great difficulty owning up to the problem too). Because of their emotionally stunted father, Rodya has become the emotional support of the family, though he certainly wasn’t always good at it. By the time Ivan brought Emil into the family, Rodya (around 13 at the time) quickly grew up to help the traumatized Emil adjust to the new family (lol, they’re all traumatized), and changed his previously dismissive and rude behaviour towards Adya. Because he took over what should’ve fallen to the parent, Rodya has a lot of buried issues himself, particularly a temper, which flares up whenever any of his family or friends are being attacked in some way. Insulting one of my brat’s? Lol, let me teach you what gravel tastes like. Rodya seems like the best behaved of them all, he’s outwardly the most polite and charming Sheremetev, but he’s the most dangerous and vicious of them all.

➤LIKES: Cereal (is possibly addicted to it??? Can eat it for any meal and as a snack, it is genuinely a concern), Tequila (this wasn’t intentional, but I’ve been going through dick grayson memes for inspiration, and I vote Rodya as Anto’s best friend, the Princess can suck it), he a Gucci boy, winter, ice skating, eurovision, Frozen and disney movies in general, will belt those songs out at any time of the day or night, but Frozen has a special place in his heart ➤DISLIKES: Brooding people (got enough of that in his family), clowns, lazy fashion (black suit, white shirt again? Fucking try my dude), teen language constantly evolving (what happened to thristing? wtf is simping?), overpowering scents (like axe, that shit gross yo, have some class) ➤HOBBIES: Gymnastics and acrobatics (has no interest in joining a circus, but it helps him feel close to his parents), boxing (needs to beat up anyone that might threaten his family), karate (black belt), coding/hacking, frolicking (lol, is that a hobby? Hanging out with the friends and the “kids” - his sibs)  

➤RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHERS: Rodion gets along best with everyone else in the family, and is pretty much the lightning rod guiding them all back together. He’s grandpa’s (Feodor) sassy lil baby boy forever, and the only other person to sometimes have a brain cell, he’s dad’s (Ivan) pride and joy, not to mention emotional rock. Rodya feels so that Ivan doesn’t have to. He keeps Adya in check, is Emil’s idol, Shion’s best bro, and Erasyl’s actual dad (not really, but he parents Erasyl more than Ivan, so). When asked who’s their favourite member of the family, every Sheremetev without hesitation will answer Rodion (for himself, he’ll refuse to answer, he’s nice like that).  

➤SHORT BIO: The first, and the favourite; Rodion was born as Rodion Petyrovich Kirilov, his parents, Petyr and Masha, were members of a contemporary circus (a la cirque du soleil, but smallers, and in Russia), as a rarity in the contemporary circus, the Kirilov’s were a circus family, but that’s more of an arguable point, since Petyr and Masha were individually trained, and they were only beginning to pass on their skills, etc to Rodion when the thing™️ happened. When he was 5, Rodion’s parents were killed in what seemed to be an act gone wrong (though in truth a jealous member of the circus messed with the rigging, causing them to plummet to their deaths). Ivan Sheremetev just happened to have been attending that very show, and also just happened to witness the murderer in the act, and relayed his information to the police. As an orphan himself, though he was much older than Rodya when his parents died, Ivan empathized with the young child, and adopted him on pretty much impulse. Because he is so much dumber than he seems (he eats burgers with a knife and fork), he was able to win over young Rodya due to being “funny”, and they established their own little family, Rodya quickly picking up Feodor’s sassy remarks, and becoming a little darling by Ivan’s side at fancy Russian events.

When Adrian was brought into the family, Rodya was far from the best big brother he is now. Adya came into the family with Rodya was 11 (Adya himself was 10), so for 6 years, he was the only child in Ivan and Feodor’s care, and was certainly spoiled by the two. Adya’s arrival sparked First Child Syndrome in Rodya, who absolutely detested having to share the limelight now with another kid. He was incredibly rude to Adya, and repeatedly referred to him as a replacement, which resulted in Adya lashing out and running away a few times as well. He’s really not proud of this, not to mention, he’s definitely where Adya learned that replacement insult from, and subsequently used on Emil. He eventually got over it mostly on his own, though got a nice little pep talk from Feodor about how all three (Rodya, Adya, and Ivan) are just lost children who need to find a family, and Rodya begrudgingly began extending an olive branch to Adya and trying to get along with him, even being the one to bring him back to the manor a couple of times. He was much better prepared when Emil arrived 2 years later and smoothly transitioned into the “Best Big Brother” mantle he has now, and continued being the best bro when Shion and Erasyl arrived, though the younger ones started having issues with not being the new baby anymore (lmao, welcome to the club you dorks).  The day Rodion left for EHS was hilariously emotional, they were all crying ‘cause they didn’t want him to go, which in turn made him cry too. The other kids didn’t talk to Ivan for a week ‘cause he sent big brother away (overdramatic much, they’d be joining him in a year, two for Erasyl, anyway).

𝐀𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐕 ➤AGE: 17   ➤BIRTHPLACE: Moscow, Russia ➤RESIDENCE: St. Petersburg, Russia ➤BIRTHDAY: August 16 ➤FACE CLAIM: Sean O’Pry

➤PERSONALITY OVERVIEW: (1) angry boi. He’s so petty and broken, and like, just needs love? He had a less than stellar relationship with his birth parents, and does not easily trust people. Adrian struggles the most with being called a “charity case”, it’s not really the insult that bothers him, but the implication that he isn’t loved by his dad, because he can’t fully trust that Ivan genuinely loves him as his son (plus Ivan isn’t exactly a share-my-feelings type, so that’s no help). Adya is quick to throw a punch, and has no patience, at all. If something is bothering him, he reacts immediately, usually with anger. On the flip side, he’s also really sweet and a nerd. Like that trope of “Bad boy who picks up cats in the rain”, that’s him, to a T! He loves literature and can recite Shakespeare from memory alone (lol, and has the nerve to call Emil a nerd), and is generally rather prickly, but if you can shave down those spikes, you’ve got a friend for life in him. ➤LIKES: Poetry, plays, literature, shakespeare, history, mythology, tolstoy, dostoyevsky, the beach, whiskey ➤DISLIKES: clowns, drugs (just say no), cops (acab), fire (he’s a tad pyrophobic), enclosed spaces (also claustrophobic), being told what to do (not a fan of being controlled) ➤HOBBIES: Reading, studying (he’s such a nerd), weight-lifting (does that count as a hobby?), mixed martial arts, napping, homework (lol, lil mr. bad boy here is top of the class), drama club (backstage stuff and directing, also script)     ➤RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHERS: It's complicated. When he first arrived to the Manor, he had a very teasing, bratty relationship with Rodya (he teased his new big brother, 'cause lol, dad loves me more now, you weren't enough), which Rodya did not like, but underwent the same crisis when Ivan brought Emil home and was much worse about. He has trust issues and has run away from home numerous times, but most of the time he went back on his own, or was quickly found by Ivan (and later Rodya). He deeply loves his family, but struggles with admitting it, and is fearful that they do not love him. He gets along the least with Emil, who was adopted 2 years after him, and frequently, to this day, calls him a replacement (something he picked up from Rodya). As both are aggressive types, he technically gets along the best with Erasyl, often teaming up to pull off shenanigans and teenage rebellion, but they constantly argue, and each views the other as the “stupid” one in their duo (lol, you’re both dumb). They’re also both super scared of Shion (she beat him up for talking shit). His relationship with Ivan is the most complicated, because he wants Ivan’s love and approval, but also refuses to admit that, though he does have it (even though Ivan struggles with admitting it too - they’re all so dumb).

➤SHORT BIO: The second one and resident “bad boy” (LOL, he’s so not), Adrian was born to Andrei and Olga Petrov, a regular working class family. Olga left them when Adya was 2, and Andrei subsequently remarried to a woman named Alina. Alina was a drug addict, as well as a drug dealer (she specialized in Heroin), which is how she and Andrei met. Both were addicts and frequently abused Adrian while high, when in withdrawal, and when completely sober. He was routinely locked out of their apartment and left to sleep outside in the freezing cold. Because of his upbringing, Adrian has had to learn to fend for himself, often resorting to petty crime just to survive. It’s how he met Ivan, as he was trying to steal the wheels off of Ivan’s fancy ass car to sell, but was discovered, and instead of trying to run, idiot decided I’m just gonna attack this guy. Ivan instead, decided to take Adrian in, easily getting custody of him from his birth parents and eventually formalizing the adoption. For this, Adrian is eternally grateful, and hasn’t seen his parents since the night Ivan caught him trying to jack his wheels (or however you say it).

The young Adrian was prone to tantrums, and often ran away from home, but was calmed down and brought back each time, usually by Ivan, a few times by Rodya, and sometimes he would come back on his own. The introduction of Emil in the family was a shocker for him, and made him feel as if he wasn’t enough, ‘cause who needs 3 kids? Not to mention, Emil, unlike himself and Rodya, came from upper society, so he felt a lot of inadequacy, which he dealt with by lashing out. He still dislikes Emil the most, even with Erasyl’s shouts about being the “blood son”. On the plus side, at least he mostly gets along with Rodya now. Technically speaking, Adrian is the youngest of the not-triplets (himself, Emil, and Shion), but having been adopted second acts as the oldest, and gets away with it due to his aggressive and independent nature.

𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐋 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐕 ➤AGE: 17   ➤BIRTHPLACE: Greiz, Germany ➤RESIDENCE: St. Petersburg, Russia ➤BIRTHDAY: July 19 ➤FACE CLAIM: Louis Hofmann  

➤PERSONALITY OVERVIEW: A very good boy, he is just the fucking sweetest, he could give you diabetes. But he is a Sheremetev sibling, and thus also is PETTY AF! He fucking logs every wrong another sibling has ever committed against him in a digital diary, and has the receipts when he complains to one of the “adults” (aka Rodion mostly, sometimes Feodor or Ivan). Emil is the “smart” one (lol, he’s got an IQ of 187, but will also blindly accept anything Rodya says as fact), and so he uses his brains to psychological torture Adya and Erasyl when they get on his nerves. He’s utterly savage when it comes to a comeback or witty comment, and can be impatient when it comes to letting someone else be in charge of technology (dies inside every time someone types www into the address bar). He makes a conscious effort to model himself after Rodya (apart from Rodya’s hoe-ing), to emulate that nice, caring, dependable thing that Rodya has, and was a super adorable mini-me when they were younger. Has insomnia, from a mix of nightmares from repressed trauma, and staying up online at all hours of the day and night like a typical zillenial. Runs on caffeine and candy.  

➤LIKES: Technology, he a computer geek, rococo, baroque, champagne, pastels, sunlight, summer, acrobatics, the circus, von gogh, monet   ➤DISLIKES: slow wifi connections, laggy computers (like excuse you windows, but I need those 4 browsers with 50+ tabs each, you know me, figure it out), blood, erasyl   ➤HOBBIES: computer engineering (is that a hobby, or just like a life goal? The latter probs), coding, tattling on adrian and erasyl, planning elaborate ways to get back at adrian and erasyl

➤RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHERS: In general, he gets along with his siblings, with two glaring exceptions; Adrian and Erasyl, both of whom view him as an unwelcome replacement, well, for Erasyl, he’s a placeholder (which, I mean, calm down, we all know who dad’s favourite is - Rodya). Emil gets along the best with Rodya, whose parents he saw perform live once before their deaths, upon his arrival to the Sheremetev manor, witnessed Rodya pulling off a similar stunt on the banister (which gave poor Ivan a heart attack) and immediately became obsessed. Because they both had a strong brotherly bond with Rodya from pretty much the get go, Emil and Erasyl argue over Rodya the most. Aside from Rodya, Emil and Shion are rather close, though she doesn’t open up much, the two often team up against Adya and Erasyl.

➤SHORT BIO: Born to Heinrich XXVIII, Prince Reuss of Greiz and Elsa von Hohenberg, the last scions of the Elder Line of the House of Reuss, and born as Heinrich XXIX, Emil is the heir to the Principality of Reuss-Greiz, which was technically inherited by his cousin, Prince Heinrich of the Junior Reuss line (they’ll all named Heinrich in the honour of the Emperor who enobled them - lame). His parents were killed when he was 12; his death was subsequently faked alongside theirs and he was taken in by Ivan, a friend of his parents, for his protection. Emil witnessed his parents' murders and was covered in their blood when he was found by the guards, the incident clearly left him traumatized, and for the most part has shut out the memory, though he still has nightmares about it, which contributes to his insomnia.

When he was first brought to the Sheremetev manor, Emil was very withdrawn and solitary, often staying by himself in his room (with the doors and windows locked) or sticking by Ivan’s side. He was slowly brought out of his shell by Rodya, though this immediately sparked jealousy and insecurity in Adya, beginning their “rivalry”.  

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐍𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐀 ➤AGE: 17   ➤BIRTHPLACE: Susaki, Japan ➤RESIDENCE: St. Petersburg, Russia ➤BIRTHDAY: January 26 ➤FACE CLAIM: Dilraba Dilmurat

➤PERSONALITY OVERVIEW: Seems like a brooding, silent, lowkey scary type, but really she’s just introverted. Doesn’t interact if she doesn’t know someone and/or it’s unnecessary. When she talks, she’s savage and witty (lol, despite them not being blood related, that’s a trait all the Sheremetev’s have). She’s honestly super dorky, loves shit like Naruto and One Piece and Batman cartoons (has declared she IS batman). Shion loves messing with people and will always make up shit to throw people off, she loves the whole concept of being the mysterious loner type, and there’s equal chance she’s saying a true fact about herself, or it’s another joke to fuck with you.   ➤LIKES: Messing with her brothers, dark colours, ➤DISLIKES:   ➤HOBBIES:   ➤RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHERS: Quiet. Because she��s generally rather reserved, it’s not quite evident upfront how close or distant she is to her family, since she’s physically generally off doing her own thing, however, like her other brothers, she is close to Rodya, and tends to hang out with him when she has nothing else to do (she be the designated driver for the hoes - she could drive since she was like 12, yes, she had to heels and creative methods to reach the pedals, but she could drive).

➤SHORT BIO: Born as Orihara Shion, Shion is the daughter of Orihara Chinatsu, the former third generation leader of Sesshō-Kai (殺生会), a Yakuza based in Kōchi, her father is unknown, but is or was presumably a member of her family’s Yakuza. From the moment she was born, Shion was separated from her mother and raised in secrecy for her protection, as well as education, as per Chinatsu’s instructions, she was being raised to one day take over the Yakuza.

Technically speaking, she is the oldest of the “triplets”, but is treated as the youngest of the three, having been adopted last, and she’s pretty okay with it. Got to be doted on as the baby before the brat (Erasyl) arrived.

adopted when she was 13 (dick 14, and the other two 13 as well)

𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐘𝐋 𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐇 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐕 ➤AGE: 15   ➤BIRTHPLACE:  Almaty, Kazakhstan ➤RESIDENCE: St. Petersburg, Russia   ➤BIRTHDAY: August 9 ➤FACE CLAIM: Bright Vachirawit

➤PERSONALITY OVERVIEW: ➤LIKES: ➤DISLIKES:   ➤HOBBIES:   ➤RELATIONSHIP WITH THE OTHERS: Terrible. He’s very insecure about his father’s affections and always gets into fights with the others, particularly Emil and Adya. He’s scared of Shion, because the one time he managed to anger her, she threw him off a balcony (he’s fine, just traumatized - technically, Rodya once beat him too, but that was to teach him a lesson, Shion was straight up trying to kill him). Erasyl gets along the best with Rodya and is very possessive of him, especially since Rodya tends to pamper him and treat him like a child. Very quickly gets jealous when Rodya spends time with the others, especially Emil (You can have father, but Rodya is mine <- has actually said that, out loud).

➤SHORT BIO: The baby, Erasyl is the only biological child of Ivan

the only biological child (15), a brat, was a real bitch to them all, but started respecting dick when he beat him, and is now super attached to him

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀

➤MOODBOARD: https://urstyle.fashion/styles/2594157 ➤SCHOOL WARDROBE/AESTHETICS: https://urstyle.fashion/collections/115802 ➤PLAYLIST:

[borisbubbles]

10. UNITED KINGDOM

Lucie Jones - “Never give up on you” 15th place

I will forever be grateful that, in this late day and age, the Eurovision Gods still managed to deliver a UK entry that I not only enjoyed, but loved. Lucie is the best UK entrant since the inception of televoting, yes?

This year was the first time in forever that I felt the UK *understood* Eurovision and it was about fucking time too. When it comes to losing the plot, the UK is always the go-to Eurovision nation. Spearheaded by Terry Wogan’s delusions (I love terry wogan dearly but dude blamed Jemeni’s null points on the Iraq War lmfao wat), the UK were so out of touch with reality that they kept on pelting us with entries which were not only poor in result and but also rich in second-hand embarrassment. It looks as though the curse was lifted this year though :throws confetti:

Still, it LOOKED as though it would be the Same Old with the UK as the BBC chose to host a national final which was LESS THAN AN HOUR LONG lmfao. Naturally, it was a horriic timewaste (despite featuring Mel Giedroyc, Sophie Ellis-Bextor and Bruno Tonioli) at least we were given an adequate winner from that otherwise horrific show. Sure, “Never give up on you” was boring, but at least it wasn’t outright bad!!

But as we know, the UNTHINKABLE happened and the BBC decided to revamp their entry :o.

The first step involved adding instrumentation to "Never give up on you”,  ensuring it no longer was the Most Boring Song Ever. The end result spoke for itself, it provided Made of Stars-levels of emotionalised realness and I really dug that.

The second (secretive) step was replacing Lucie Jones with a life-like android counterpart which was is programmed to look, sound and behave exactly like her.

Unfortunately, due to the heat from the spotlights and the clamour from the audience, the LucieBot 3000 short-circuited into malfunction and instead performed like this:

Error 404 - Brain Not Found

Like, I seriously loooooooove The Face we were given, but with that in mind it’s no surprise this got a meager 25 points from the audience lol. (yeah, people keep saying BREXIT but I think they exaggerate its impact. Political shit only really influences results when it’s (1) Russia or (2) directly related to the entrant themselves).

STILL, this starry impressionist Birth-of-Venus-like staging HAS to signify the birth of a new Era of Eurovision Dominance for the UK, right? RIGHT??? *takes out rosary*

Decade Rank: 67/324

THE 2017 RANKING SO FAR:

-ADORE- 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. -LOVE- 7. 8. 9. 10. United Kingdom (67/324) 11. Finland (68/324) 12. Estonia (71/324) 13. Azerbaijan (84/324) 14. Latvia (87/324) 15. Israel (93/324)

-LIKE- 16. Bulgaria (100/324) 17. Portugal (105/324) 18. Croatia (115/324) 19. Austria (119/324) 20. France (138/324) 21. Poland (154/324) 22. Armenia (158/324) 23. Romania (164/324)

-OKAY- 24. Iceland (174/324) 25. Ukraine (190/324) 26. San Marino (203/324) 27. Albania (217/324) 28. Denmark (228/324) 29. Spain (237/324) 30. Cyprus (240/324) -DISLIKE- 31. Germany (258/324) 32. Montenegro (263/324) 33. Sweden (270/324) 34. Serbia (275/324) 35. Australia (280/324) 36. Switzerland (286/324) 37. Czech Republic (288/324) 38. Malta (291/324) -HATE- 39. Georgia (301/324) 40. Greece (303/324) 41. Slovenia (307/324) 42. Ireland (312/324)