#but yeah he's a guy. living in my head. doesn't have to be totally consistent tbh

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

Tell me about an oc that is on your mind! Who are they, what do they do, what's their deepest secret?

Thank you!! So much for the ask!! I was so happy when I saw this in my inbox :D

So there’s this OC that’s pretty much constantly living in the back of my head. He’s one of my favorite blorbos you know lol :D and his name is Zack! Just Zack, no surnames or anything.

Before I get into the rant: content warnings for attempted suicide, a lot of torture, serial murder, general bad times with very little comfort, cannibalism, and there might be more that I’m missing.

I do not have a decent visual ref of Zack yet so!! Here’s a brief description: he’s Chinese-American, has pale skin, silver upturned eyes, black hair that’s a little wavy, and he’s pretty much average height. He has a penchant for men’s suits straight from the cities of 1920′s America, with hat and all. Zack also wears a lot of silvery, snake themed accessories.

And he does have a pet snake too! It’s of a fantasy species, because I wanna have the snake be wrapped around some part of Zack’s body at (mostly) all times and I’m pretty sure you can’t do that with like. Real snakes. The snake’s name is Jörmungandr :D she’s an albino snake and also very long. And very cute ofc <2

Anyways! Zack is an AU of. My OC Zach. Yeah. Sorry about that. I’m not changing it tho. Pretty much I just took Zach and I was like “okay but what if he was immortal and everything was worse?”

Zack has never really had a good life. He grew up in 1950s American style suburbia as a transgender kid, in a household with manipulative and distant parents. It really really sucked, as one might guess. He didn’t have any friends, and he coped by developing an ego. It wasn’t enough to sustain any sort of peace of mind, though. Zack was isolated and trapped in this town, in his body, and in his painfully monotonous life. And one day, he couldn’t take it anymore, so he tried to kill himself.

He probably should have died from his attempt, but he woke up afterwards, and he was completely fine. No injuries or scars or anything. Shortly after, he realized that it was because he was some sort of immortal.

And yeah! It pretty much works by like, if he dies, he will come back to life after an hour! His body will also reset to the state it was in an hour before his death. He also doesn’t age. 

After Zack realized he was immortal, he decided to skip town. No point living in a place that made him want to die.

Zack probably could have had a decent life at this point. Found some friends and people who cared about and respected him, and pursued his own passions. But the thing about Zack is that any sort of intimacy is completely off the table for him. He is terrified of it, because he doesn’t know it, and also because it leaves him too vulnerable. In his childhood, he learned that if you got close to someone, or trusted them, then they would use it against you or break it the moment it was convenient to them. So he actively avoids making any friends, or getting even a little bit close to literally anybody. 

He has this manner of speaking where he often minimizes really serious things, but he also has a penchant of being really melodramatic over tiny misfortunes like getting a paper cut (it’s over-exaggerated for the humor lol).

Zack is also a really callous person. He doesn’t really see other people as like, people. Mostly because he believes that’s he’s above them, as an immortal. He’s going to live forever, and that is infinitely longer than any human lifespan. It doesn’t matter what he does to a person, because they’ll be dead in a century at most! No one will care, eventually.

And he also has a complex about being remembered. He doesn’t want to be a guy in the background forever! He deserves something better. He wants people to remember him more than anything. But he won’t make any lasting relationships with people, he’s too callous to try doing good for the world, and he has no desire or passion for the sciences or the arts.

So all these traits converge to lead Zack to find his preferred method of making his mark on the world: serial killing.

The way he sees it, people have such a fascination with serial killers, especially ones that killed their victims brutally, that if he captures someone’s fascination enough, he’ll always be remembered. And he can repeat that for as long as he lives.

And the worst thing was that he was right about it, in a way. A lot of people have discussed and speculated over his murders. In detective offices, in podcasts and blog articles, in daily conversation. And Zack has done some honestly horrible things to people. He convinces himself that it’s okay, though, because they die at the end. They don’t have to live with the pain for the rest of their lives.

(Although, sometimes he leaves people alive at the end and lets them go. Just in the hopes that they’ll remember this and him. For the rest of their lives.)

All the serial killing has absolutely gotten him in some hot water before, though. He’s let himself die numerous times to escape the authorities or a prison. Sometimes he chooses his victims wrong, and then he ends up with vengeful person after him, because he killed someone close to them.

He ended up tortured because of that, once. Zack murdered a woman’s only friends, and she hunted him down. She was just going to kill him, but then she realized he wouldn’t stay dead. So she decided to make him suffer :)

No one came to help him, afterwards. He had to patch himself up.

And sometimes, the person he’s trying to kill is a lot more dangerous than he realizes. Case in point: once, he chose a victim at random, and broke into the victim’s house. That victim ended up killing him, and he woke up in the guy’s basement.

He targeted a cannibalistic serial killer without knowing it. Yeah. Anyways, the cannibal cut off Zack’s left arm, cooked it, and forced him to eat part of it, just because he wanted to. Zack eventually died from the blood loss, but not quickly enough. He woke up with his arm still gone, since it was cut off over an hour before his death.

Eventually he did escape, though, and he got a prosthetic. I’d actually say that the origin of his prosthetic is one of his deeper secrets. Whenever someone asks, he just makes up a new story. He will never tell anyone the real story.

Another one of his deep secrets is definitely. All the serial killing he’s done. He’s not very inclined to tell anyone, since he doesn’t want to rot in a jail for the rest of eternity, and also, part of what makes his serial murders so memorable to people is that they don’t know who committed it. He won’t ruin that for himself!

Deepest secret though? That he needs a friend. Or just someone close to him. He honestly needs people. But the thing is, he doesn’t want people. They’ve hurt him too greatly. He doesn’t deserve it. So he very much denies his need for intimacy. This is a secret so deep that it’s secret even to Zack himself.

Zack is one of my favorite characters, and honestly it’s just because he’s so miserable all the time, but honestly a lot of it is his own doing but he won’t change anything he’s doing because he’s too scared of the alternatives :D

[drkbluedream]

Run

- you went to a bicycle tournament even if you aren't interested in it. Even a bit. But that day, your friend invited you to watch him race.

(Ik he already have a gf but lets just forget about her and create alternative universe please)

It's burning hot that day. The sun is having fun burning people. Maybe coming there is a bad decision after all. But remembering that your group of friends who come all the way from Busan to the place around you, just for bike tournaments, it'll be too harsh for you not to cheer for them. The match of your friends team is already done. Looks like they won. While you want to go meet up with your friends, you stumble across someone who is really attractive.

You look at him from far. Thinking what should you do to get his information. Then you saw people taking pictures with some cyclists. Taking deep breath, you walk to him and approach him.

"Hey, you look great on race today. Can I take pictures with you?" You said. Trying to be confident. Even tho only God knows how scared and shy you are that time.

The guy's head tilted a bit as if he was questioning you. He didn't say anything, makes your confidence drop. You want to take it as rejection but even before you could walk away, the guy replied , "my team turn hasn't come yet but sure"

That's how you stand there in embarrassment. Maybe it's a price to pay for trying a good looking man. The guy looks around 180cm, with short fluffy black hair that almost covers his eyes, long lashes, eyes that looks dead, and face what show he don't give a fuck of world. Totally your type.

You took some selca with him and left with his insta id. When he leaves, you can see a huge logo printed on his back. A bird with flowers? "Humming bird.. maybe I should stay a bit."

That's how your story starts. Not a beautiful story. From tagging him on Instagram story, to manipulating him to give his phone number. Pestering him everyday.

From what you know, his name is Jay Jo and his uncle is some short of cyclists champion? He is really hard to approach. Dry texter and he is weird. But you can see he try. He replied to everything almost immediately. Isn't that cute?

You never ask about his personal life. So you don't know he really is. Plus you think it doesn't matter. That's what you thought. Until today come.

Today is a hell day. You run away from home after a big fight with your mom. The new day has almost come so there's not much shop open around you. Also you, who leave every personal stuff at home, can't afford to stay anywhere. Yeah you forgot to bring your bag that has your wallet, bike key, charger, etc. You are alone in the middle of the night, at the park, only with your phone. Probably heaven really mad that you fight with your mom, the badluck streak doesn't end there.

Your phone, the only thing you have right now, only has 20 percent of battery. If you use it consistently, for sure it won't live till the next day. You sigh. You don't know where to stay. Most of your friends live miles away from your place. You who don't have a single penny, can't go anywhere. Your friends who live around here, mostly stay out of town to continue studying. So it's just you alone.

You become more restless until you see Jay like one of your stories. A few minutes ago you uploaded a story saying that you might be gone for a while. Well it's directly for the 'fans' of yours. You might be unable to show up on Instagram so you don't want any of them to wonder where you have been. Last time you went without saying anything, the aftermath you got is something you can't handle.

You look at Jay's profile who is currently online. Based on his following, he looks like he knows some of the mutual there. The possibility of him staying around you is also high. Maybe he can help?

You slide to his profile and start to chat with him.

"Hey Jay, sudden request. Do you have an extra charger? Can I borrow your charger?"

Jay is typing...

Pfft. See? He immediately replied.

"Yeah. Are you going to pick it up?"

"Yeah. Where do you live?"

He then sent his location. The reason you don't really pester into his personal life is because he never asks about yours. So you see there's no reason for you to start if. It's inappropriate too for you.

"I will arrive in a bit"

You send the chat before you start walking. It's around 15 minutes walk. You haven't eaten since yesterday so you don't really have energy left. So you walk at a slow pace. Hoping you didn't make him wait long.

You received a call.

"Jay..?" You were wondering why he called you. Did you take too much time? You answer the call. You didn't say anything because you want to let him talk first. But the other end also didn't say anything.

"Yeah?" You asked.

"You take your time. Where you at?" He asked. So cold. You can feel his coldness.

"Uh.. xxxx" you name the place based on the map.

"It's near. Should I pick you up?" He offered. You guys aren't that close and you have trouble so you refuse.

"It's going to rain" he said and immediately hung up.

You just stand there, stunned by his action. You look up and try to confirm his word. But it's the middle of the night. No way you can see the difference. But did he know? Yeah whatever it's not your concern.

In front of you, there's a tall building. "Oh, he lives in a condo". While u are mesmerized by the place, a black cat comes to your leg and meows at you. The cat immediately got your attention. Definitely the cutest cat ever. You squat down to play with it.

"You should've told me if u arrived" a pair of legs stopped in front of you and the cat. You look up and it's Jay.

You stand and look at him. He doesnt look like he is ready to sleep. He's all dressed up like he is from somewhere. In his hand, there's a paper bag. Noticing you looking at it, Jay immediately hands it over to you.

"Thank you" you look into the bag. It's a brand new USB cable and power bank. You look at him confused. "It's new...?"

"Yeah. I don't know if the one I have right now can function properly or not" he bites his lips and looks away. Ah he looks so cute.

"Well if you just let me know, I will just buy a new one for myself you know." You feel guilty. Who doesn't? You definitely trouble him.

"My fault for replying without checking properly. Plus I'm on my way home" he said.

Oh.. I see.

You just nodded. "Well I owe you". As soon as you want to take steps to leave, it starts to rain. You let go of a really heavy sigh. Today is definitely not yours.

"You can stay at my house for a bit" his words stop your steps. You were shocked. Is he for real?

"Are you sure Jay?" You look at him, trying to see if he's telling the truth.

He nodded. "You look like you aren't in a position to say no after all. Why don't I lend some hand?" He added. You moved by him. "I saw you walk means you don't have or take any transport. You must be tired. Plus it's raining. I'm not cruel for letting someone walk in the rain."

Not only does this guy have a good appearance, he only has a good heart. His family raised him well. You hope you didn't judge too fast.

You just follow him to his unit. Jay's condo security system.. you can say it's quite too much. Lobby, then the lif, and even each floor needs an access card. Is he rich? You ask yourself.

"I need to take something at the carpark. You can enter first" he said. He gave you his password to enter his unit. Why did he trust you so much?

You leave that question aside. Maybe you don't have to know. Maybe it's not the time for you to know yet.

You enter his unit and it's nothing like you expected from him. It's dark yet so clean and lacks furniture. It looks cold. There's no coach or place to sit except the food table. It's quite big but it's so.. quite. So you just sit on the floor without saying anything after plugging in to charge your phone.

You zoned out while thinking about the 'curse' you got. There's much more problems you have and the fight with your mom is your last straw. Maybe you should've just gone from the world and stop trying to survive.

You heard someone unlock the door and you can see Jay walking in. The first thing that came to your mind was "welcome home".

He was stunned. He looked at you without moving for awhile. his ears slowly glowing red. "I'm.. home" he said. Trying to hide his face. He put two pieces of plastic on the table. You can smell fried chicken from it. You peak in interest.

"You should eat. You can take a bath either before or after. Up to you" Jay said as he tried to avoid eye contact. You didn't mention it. You were thinking if you should eat first or take some bath first.

"Can I borrow your towel?" You decided to take a shower first. Knowing you'll get cold chicken, you rather eat that than eat with Jay while being smelly.

But your question makes Jay stunned. He bites his lips and slowly looks at you. "Do you mind sharing a towel with me? I forgot to buy a new one"

That's when it hits you. This whole house is his. Everything is his. Only you are yours. Sharing a towel, soap, shampoo, fragrance, everything is an opportunity. You nod to his question. He brings you to his toilet and you take a bath there.

You can hear Jay's doing something in the kitchen. Chopping, blending, tf he doing? Then he quit a bit. Well none is your concern. After a while, you go out with a towel. Outside, he prepared your clothes to wear. How ironic that he is definitely bigger than you.

You are unsure why his clothes look so big on you. He is indeed taller but you guys sizes look basically the same. If anything, it's impossible to wear something larger than yours. It's definitely a scene straight from drama. So cliche.

While you walk entering the living room, seeing Jay already sits on the floor with a mini table open. There's a friend's chicken and friend rice you believe Jay is cooking just now. He looks like a lost child while waiting for you. The mini towel got your attention.

"When did you take a bath?"

"Just now" he answered. Didn't intend to reply more than that. So you just nod and sit in front of him. Maybe you don't have two know.

"You drink?" He asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I want to take the day off tomorrow. Drink with me" he then put a few cans of beer on the table. He just grin while looking at you. He is definitely the cutest.

"Thank you" you took one of the beers and drank it. Jay just looks at you without saying anything. He takes one of the chickens and puts them on a plate that has been served in front of you. You guys start eating and drinking.

He isn't as quiet as you think he is. He does talk. But not a lot. And he isn't awkward or cold. You're glad you can see his new side. He looks so cute this way. You hope that you are the only one who can see Jay acts this way.

"Why did you help me?" That question accident slipped your mouth. Maybe you drink too much. He stopped eating and looked at you.

"Is that wrong? Helping you?" He looks so confused.

"You can just say no" you start bickering. This is definitely why people stop asking you to join for drinks. You start a fight.

"I have a hard time saying no." He replied calmly.

"Then you gonna help everyone that comes to you?"

He shook his head. "Only you. I only have a hard time saying no to you". He said that without looking directly into your eyes. But you can't sense lies from his voice.

"Issit because you think I'm pathetic?" You ask but Jay didn't reply. But he stops eating and looks at you. " It's not because you want to take advantage of me right?"

"You drunk" Jay takes away the beer from your hand. Unsatisfied by how he didn't answer your question, you grab his hand make him pulled to you and almost fall on the table.

"Answer me"

He tries to run his eyes from you but you are irresistible. "If you allow me then I don't mind" he then pecks your forehead before pating your head, then back sitting opposite from you.

That action is enough to make you shut up. He's well aware of your feelings and isn't in the phase of wanting a girlfriend but he also doesn't want to take your feelings easily and he didn't play with you. Maybe he is giving you a chance to grab his heart.

Jay, who just makes you stunned just now, chuckle seeing how you stopped moving and having a shocked face. He feels like you are so cute. He then wants to continue eating but who expects you will stand up and jump on him? He definitely didn't expect it.

You on top of him, holding both of his hands, while putting your weight on his stomach. He grunts as your body hits him suddenly and it makes him fall on the floor. But seeing you on top of him, and your face really close to him, he starts becoming shy. He looks aside and you can see how red his ears have become.

"y/n, what are you doing?" He said without looking at you. You can see Jay red getting red and redder for every second pass you leave his question hanging. He can't handle the quiet atmosphere you decide to give. So he faces you again and you who have been waiting, start to kiss him.

Whoever sees this scene, will definitely judge you for your actions. Who actually jumps on people and kisses them? That's such an immoral actio-- I would.

The kiss starts with your lips touching his and after it, he starts to open his mouth, then leads you with his tongue. You didn't expect how good he is in kissing. The kiss is so sensual that your hand that holds your weight almost gives up. Noticing how your hand starts shaking, Jay easily breaks from your prison.

You fell on him and it makes all your body weight on him. You can feel every breath his take, how fast his heartbeat is and how hot he is right now. Jay wrapped his hand around your head before sitting and it makes you sit on his lap. He tucked your hair behind your ear to see you better.

His eyes linger on your face as he is just massaging your neck then his eyes stop on your lips. You can see how he tries to hold himself from kissing and eat you alive. But you can't take it anymore. You wrapped your arm around his next and played with his soft fluffy hair before pulling his hair closer to you kiss him again. You take the lead. You control his tongue movement and teach him how you like it. He seems to just follow your lead while his hand slowly goes lower and lower then ends up around your waist.

You can feel something poke on your sensitive part down there. You don't have to look by yourself you already know what it is. It makes you feel pure happiness. The guy you like got turned on just by kissing you.

Noticing he accidentally poked you, he immediately panicked. "I need to go to the toilet" he said as he wanted to push you off his lap. He covers his face using his hand and tries to not look at you.

You were confused by his actions. "Was it because of this?" You start to touch his bulge, teasing him. You can see how it's growing and getting harder.

He bit his lips that plumped just by kissing you. He slowly nodded. But you still won't let him go. Without asking, you start rubbing him with yourself and satisfy yourself. You rub your clit with his bulge and move back and forward with your own pace. He tries to hold his voice in that he starts to let heavy breath. He is trying his best to not let any sinister voice out but he seems to fail. He threw his head to the back and only let one of his hands support him from falling while another one covered his eyes. He let out a cute grunt as you try to massage it using your hand.

He closes his mouth with his hand and looks at you between the gaps of his finger.

Omg he is such a baby girl.

"Please don't do this to me" he said. His eyes are lost in pleasure and you can see he is sweating as if he just finished running. His Adam apple moves up and down as he gulps the saliva.

"I.. didn't do anything?" You said innocently. But your hips didn't stop. You close. Really close. But it's not enough. You need something in you.

Jay lost patience as he lifted you up and put you on his shoulder, bringing you to his bedroom without opening any light and throwing you on his bed. He didn't even bother closing the door or locking the room. You can see he's panting as he stands in front of the bed.

"Can you stay here for a while?" He asked nicely. As if he is begging you to not throw and tantrum. But you know if you let him go then there's no second chance. Right now is the time.

"Where did you wanna go?" You lie down and hide half of your face. Acting like you sad when you know damn well most of your skin is exposed by the impact he throws at your bed.

"I need to calm myself down"

"Then how about me?" You asked. Even if you can't see him clearly, you know that he is dead red. As you are waiting for his response, you can see his Adam's apple move. "Same like you, I'm wet down there too"

"Will you allow me?"

You nodded.

You can see Jay a bit hesitant by your words but his hand says otherwise. He tried to reach you but he didn't move.

"We are drunk. You will regret it later"

"Then let's regret it later" you said. It's obvious you can't wait.

He comes closer to you. You can see every step he takes seems heavy. Looks like he reconsidered his decision every step. "Jay.. I only want you because I love you" you give the last shot.

He climbs on bed and topps you. He looks at you with guilt and with lust. You can tell he is fighting himself inside his mine.

"What do you like about me?" He asked. He looks straight into your eyes. He tries to not touch you before getting grasped the whole situation.

You touch his face that's really close to you. "you have a good looking face. Nice body. Tall. Fair skin" you stop. "Fluffy hair" you added.

"All is my type" you said to him. "and I really love the fact you are acting cold towards everyone else. I know you aren't acting. You just don't know how to show affection."

Jay's face softened. Satisfied by your answer. He pushes your hair on your forehead before giving a quick peck on it. He starts kissing you from your forehead, down to nose, then to your lips. His hand trail your face down to your neck then stop on the top of your chest. He looks at you.

You grab his hand and put it on your boobs. Showing him that it's fine to touch you. Not enough, you took off your shirt, leaving you only with bra and undies. You enjoy every moment his large hand gropes your fine toned boobs. You can see that Jay is also enjoying the moment as you can feel Jay's bulge growing bigger than before.

You don't want the moment to stop and leave you hanging like just now. It's very annoying when your climax gets denied istg. You unzip his pants and take out his dick. Maybe because he is athletic, you can see his veins around his cock.

Jay look at you. Waiting for your comment. He is curious whether you like it or not. As he sees your eyes open wide, he chuckles and goes in for a kiss once more. His breath left as you start massaging him. It makes his hands weak. Having direct contact with your skin with his sensitive spot makes him weaker more than him thought.

You feel it cute when Jay tries to hide his moan and starts to breathe heavily. "Ah-" a moan slipped your mouth as Jay suddenly bit your neck.

Why did this man act like an animal suddenly?

"Sorry" he apologizes. Licking the place on your neck that he bit. Jay is bold with lifting one of your legs to his shoulder. Close to his face, he licks and kisses your calves. The view you see right now is to die for. You wish you could snap this pic on your phone and save it as a memory but you have your phone outside.

What a shame.

As he rubs your claves and things, his hand starts to rub your inner thigh, carefully. He plays around your clit outside your undies. He's making sure that you get used to his touch before going for it. But suddenly he flinches and he grabs both of your hands that have been touching his dick. You can see his delicious banana is leaking precum. "Bad hands" he said.

Jay locks your hand and pushes it to the top of your head. Making you can't move. He takes out your pants. Using his own spit, he enters your pussy using his hand. You can feel he playing around inside of you with his finger. He spread your pussy before adding another one. His thumb is playing with your clit to give you more sensation.

You can't keep your mouth shut by letting your pants out. Your eyes start to roll back when he licks and bites your nipple. You can hear he start purring. It's weird for you. But it's cute.

"Jay- stop-" you said. Urging him to stop. You feel something weird. He was confused by your request. "I might pee" you continue. But he didn't stop. Yet his hand starts moving faster as he looks at your face while biting your nipple.

"Jay Jay Jay!!" You repeatedly call out his name but he continues. "Ah-" your hips flinch as you start leaking some liquid from your pussy. Jay's hands are soaked by it. He licks you cum before kissing you.

You, who's still sensitive, start to shake when he rubs your clit once more. Your body is arching making your body touch his. You can feel something is 'kissing' you down there. You try to be calm while biting your lips but jay notices your lips start bleeding, and starts to lick the blood.

"Bite me instead" he let go of your hand and started to touch your face. He then puts his fingers inside of your mouth, doesn't let you bite your poor lips.

"You are so wet yet why are you so tight?" He grunting. You can hear the pain and pleasure from his voice. Every inch you take, you can feel your inside throbbing. And when Jay goes to the last push, you immediately can feel your inside are full.

His bare dick feels so hot as your inside touches directly to his skin. Every curve his dick has, you can feel it. It's too late to ask him to wear a condom. Because if you would, he might run to the convenience store and buy one. And there's a possibility he'll just jerk off and cool down and chicken out.

You tap his hand asking him to take out his finger inside of your mouth. As soon as he takes out, he grabs your waist and pulls you closer to his hips. Your bellow part got lift easily. But seeing you feel uncomfortable, he grabs your hand and pulls you to hug him, making you sit on him.

The weight of your body makes his dick feel so much deeper. As if you can feel it in your stomach. That's what you thought until you can feel the bulge in your stomach.

He easily helps you move and ride his delicious cock with his strength. You can see the bulge also move as you go up and down.

Jay's heavy breath turned to grunts, his sweat smells nice, his body heat makes you calm then drives you crazy, his hand on your waist, supporting you to move. Everything is perfect. Everything feels like such a dream.

"You smell sweet y/n" he said. Licking your eyes. "I want to eat you" he added. You can hear his growling softly. He kisses your cheek, licks your mouth, and ends up eating your mouth again. The whole room is full of sinister sounds that have been produced by you. Licking sounds, moan, whimpers, clapping, everything comes from you alone.

Jay starts using his hips to move you instead of his hands. He leads your legs to wrap you around nicely and you hand to hug him before you start moving again. He can't see your face but every breath you take, every whimpers and whine you make, sounds very clear to him.

The growth of his size makes you crazy once again. "How come you can be bigger and still not come?" You ask while whining like a bitch with every single word you said.

"Because you are too cute"

Jay starts to move faster as he can hear your hiccup. He got the feeling he accidentally poked your gspot and he was correct. The spot he has been poking makes you hiccup and unable to think straight. If there's a mirror there, you definitely can see how many scares you gave him.

You are surprised as he cum inside you and still hasn't grown softer. You offer him a blow job but he refuses. Saying he will take care of it by himself in the toilet.

As if you will let that right? Hshs. You guys end up having round 2 in his small bathroom. Standing makes your knees weak so he supports your weight by himself. Both of your voices fill the bathroom. Jay didn't seem like he would leave you alone after this.

Even when clearing his cum inside you, he still helps you and fingering you. Overstimulation from him makes you cry and pass out at the end.

You wake up with a strong headache. First thing you see is Jay Jo pinching your cheeks with your phone on his hand. He is taking your photo. You were shocked.

"Do you hate it?" He asked. Showing some pics of you and him while you are sleeping. "I take it on your phone so if you hate it, you can delete it later" he then gave his phone to you. "I didn't take any from my phone. So, if there's a pic of us you like, please send me"

You hold your head. Unable to proceed with the information Jay just gave. The hungover is killing you. "I--" your voice cracked.

Jay laughed. "Rest first, I will order food for you" he said, pull you closer and kiss your forehead.

...

So how do you tell him that you didn't remember anything from yesterday? And why is he being so nice this morning? Hshs..

(Notes;)K thats all. Its long ik. Im sorry. I start write this one from two months ago when i went to a cosplay event and i saw Jay Jo cosplayer. No I'm not pervert irl. It just happened this way so i figure it i should write a fic about it.

If yall lucky then i will write ff about König too😜

If you guys like this, then support wooin ff

[kingwuko]

I'm almost sure someone already mentioned something like this before in yar reposts but I've it doing laps on my head.

I guess in my head why I mostly ship Wukp is for the way Mako seems to be needed in his relationships, with Bolin who he took care of after their parents die, with Korra and Asami while dating. Being the protector is Mako love language even though all of them may need Mako in their lives as a sibling, friend, and companion, none really need him in the way Mako prefers.

Wu is the exception in that in the show, Wu loves to be taken care of, and he likes how reliable and competent Mako is, Mako seems to resent being Wu's bodyguard but in the end, the LOOK he gives Wu at the wedding he's proud of Wu, yeah it can be read as platonic, but yet they complement so much. And Wu is more competent, resourceful, and capable than everyone gives him credit for, even himself, yet he likes Mako taking charge like the self-defense class, is obvious he doesn't care much to learn but he gives it a try just so give Mako peace of mind (and just what he needs to get Mako in a position to spill out about his past).

Wu doesn't need really Mako but he likes Mako enough to let Mako be Mako in a way that Korra, Asami and Bolin doesn't. Some may say that's a bit/too codependent, but some couples are like that and that's okay, also that makes me relate more to Wuko than Korrasami or Bolin/Opal.

Hey maybe this has been discussed before but I'll talk about these guys all day long and I love revisiting prior discussions!!!

I really love your take on everything. Obviously Wu NEEDS some physical protection. He's royalty, even if he were capable of defending himself, most rulers need some kind of security detail!! And Mako can provide that in spades! But Wu is a king and he has access to other means to be guarded. In Ruins of the Empire he has a security detail consisting of Earth Army guards. But he wants MAKO to protect him!!!

I do also like how Wu doesn't seem to have this need to prove himself to be tough or whatever. He's totally fine being the wimpy guy and just letting Mako be the big tough guy.

I agree that I think Mako wants to be needed, I feel like he values himself based on how useful he is to others. But something I like about Wu: he's kinda obsessed with Mako just for being... Mako. So like, he lets Mako be needed and useful, but truthfully Wu just wants Mako no matter what that means! So like, Mako appreciates being needed, but as they grow closer, I can see Wu stealthily making Mako realize he has value as a person just for existing and not just based on what he can give.

Because yeah Wu likes having his big tough guy to protect him, but he also just wants to get smoothies with him and buy him clothes and convince him to get some kind of spa treatments. So it's definitely good for Mako both because he can feel needed but also he can learn to be loved without being needed. If that makes sense???

[serendipitouswasteland]

I Kissed A Boy and I Like It

Note: This was transcribed from my AO3.

ship: byler pov: third person written: July 27, 2022 first published: August 1, 2022 word count: 3,901 - summary: Growing up as a kid and a teenager in the '80s isn't totally awful for one Mike Wheeler. He has a Supercom walkie talkie, two different bikes, the basement of his home all to himself (most of the time), a family that loves him, and five really amazing friends. But, there is one thing that makes life absolute Hell: the constant urge to kiss his best friend.

or

Mike Wheeler and El Hopper broke up because they both need something else in their lives, namely for Mike, kissing boys.

Mike walks down the school hallway with El by his side. When they were dating, their hallway conversations were few and far between, Mike's eyes traveling elsewhere as his mind would consistently snap back to one Will Byers, his best friend who was always an earshot away.

Now, though, with Mike and El no longer being together, Mike can't help but feel like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. During their breakup conversation, Mike had told El the truth, and El had shared her own, and they agreed that they'd be better off as friends. That much has held true with the two being undeniably closer than ever.

"What about him?" El asks, pointing to a random guy as they're about to enter their classroom.

"No," Mike says with a snort, El laughing along.

The two make their way to their seats, setting their bags down next to each other and giving one another a smile, their silent moment interrupted by Will taking his place in front of Mike and Max taking hers in front of El, Dustin and Lucas following close behind, clearly exhausted and out of breath.

"Hey!" Will says, the biggest smile on his face as he breathes heavily.

Mike looks at Will intently, staring into his eyes, watching as they sparkle and how his skin is practically growing, his smile one of the biggest Mike has seen in a while (though he knows it could be bigger, after everything that's happened, he wasn't going to complain). Mike smiles back, and watches as Will's fades just a slight bit, watching as their facial expressions becomes one that they share. They stare at each other for a quick moment, Mike being the one to look away once he starts to feel his face heat up.

"So, uh, why are the four of you all out of breath?"

"Max decided we should race," Lucas huffs out as he falls into his chair in front of Max.

"I gave you a heads up this morning!"

"Yeah, but...you didn't say when."

"I would just like to make it clear that I beat Lucas," Dustin says, Will rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, but Will is the one who won the whole thing. I didn't think you had it in you, Byers."

"Eh. It's not that surprising. I mean, he almost outran a demogorgon," Mike says with a shrug, Will's smile faltering a bit more. "Sorry, I didn't— I mean, I know you're not— just..."

"No, Mike. You're fine, it's just me. You don't have to apologize."

"What? No! I made you upset, and—"

"Oh my god, do you two ever shut up?" Max exclaims, her, El, and Lucas falling into a bit of laughter at her comment.

"Sorry," both Mike and Will whisper at the same time.

"We'll talk about this later," Mike says sternly, Will's face flushing as he turns to face the front of the class.

Mike grabs his books out of his bag and sets them on his desk, leaning over to El to get a pencil. She sighs heavily, sifting through her bag, but Mike tells her nevermind when Will knowingly tosses a pencil behind him. Mike whispers a thank-you before facing the board, easily getting distracted as the lesson goes on, namely when Will raises his hand to answer a question. Mike watches as Will's arm stretches high, slowly lowering as he gets called on.

The muscles in Will's arm relax as he rests his arm on the back of his chair, twirling his pencil between two fingers. Mike doesn't know why, but he suddenly feels hot all over, covering his mouth his hand to try and hide part of his face. Even Will's voice gets to Mike, the slight uncertainty that only he's able to pick up on.

When Will's finished answering the question, Mike lets out a small cough into his shoulder, turning away from the rest of the class. Will turns around to look at him, making sure he's okay, and Mike gives a quick nod and smile, pointing his pencil back toward the board as to say "I'm fine, let's pay attention".

Lunch, something that Mike once loved, has become a part of his day full of the utmost dread. After Lucas and Will decided not to join Hellfire, Mike felt like he had to choose between the two: his friends, or a club where he can fit in. In the end, Will had told him to join, and so he did, because he thought that was what Will wanted. Fact was, Mike had been wrong in that regard. He knows this for one reason: Will sits at the complete opposite side of the lunch room with Lucas, Max, and El, leaving Mike and Dustin to be alone with the Hellfire club.

It's not that Mike has a problem with Will not sitting with them at lunch, because he doesn't, but it's the mere distance between them. It's like Will doesn't want to be seen within twenty feet of him. Today, though, was going to be different, because Eddie (the dungeon master of Hellfire) wasn't going to be there on account of him having been suspended. Mike gets his food and quickly takes what's El's usual spot at their lunch table next to Will, smiling brightly as he puts his tray on the table.

"Hey!" Mike practically yells, immediately looking at Will.

"Hey. Not sitting with your club of losers?"

"Okay, first of all, this is the losers table, alright? Second, Eddie got suspended yesterday, so I figured why not come and sit with my best friend while I have the chance?"

"Right," Will says, taking a bite of his food.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just find it kind of funny, is all."

"Funny?"

"Yeah, I mean, that he got suspended for selling drugs to Chrissy Cunningham, of all people, out at the picnic table in the woods. And all because of Jason."

"Hey, that's my team captain you're talking about," Lucas says with a pointed look.

"Yeah, but Lucas, he's awful. He literally used Hopper's death at the pep rally before the championship game."

"Didn't he also, like, try and kill Eddie?" Max asks, finally taking off her headphones when the track she'd been listening to finishes.

"Which brings us back to him selling Chrissy drugs."

"Which she asked for," Dustin notes, El nodding along.

"Wait, how do you know all of this?" Mike asks, his eyes still locked on Will.

"Being the quiet gay kid comes in handy, sometimes," Will says, Max, Lucas, and El, all laughing a bit with him.

"Wait- what?"

"What?" Will asks, his brows furrowed as he finally meets Mike's gaze. "Oh. Oh, shit, um..."

"You're—" Mike cuts himself off, looking at Dustin to see if he knew, but he just shrugs it off like he'd expected it.

"Can we not make this a big deal? We can talk about it later when you finish apologizing over nothing."

"I just don't get why you didn't tell me. I mean, come on, Will. I'm your best friend."

"Yeah, well, you haven't really been present over the past year, have you?" Will blurts out, his face stern and his voice cold.

Mike doesn't even blink at Will's words. He knows he's right. Except it hasn't been a year. It's been more than that. It's been since the snowball back in '84, and it's now spring of '86 and despite what he's done to amend that, it's still not enough. After all, this is his first time having lunch with Will in almost two months.

"Later it is then," Mike says, not wanting to ruin the moment any further.

All throughout lunch, Mike steals glances over at Will when he's not looking. Not that he doesn't look when Will is, but, that was different. That wasn't the staring that he would do. When Will was looking, it was always rapid blinking and trying to keep his cheeks from flushes and words from slipping. But when Will wasn't looking? It made it all so much easier: the being able to admire Will while he wasn't looking, the thoughts in his mind running free without fear of a slip (to an extent), and Will not seeing and being able to tell him to stop.

The end of the school day Will always be a struggle for Mike on the days he goes straight home without stopping by a friend's or without a friend coming with him. Luckily, it's a Friday, and Will promised he would come over (hence his push to finish their conversation later on). Everyone waves goodbye to El as she gets in the car with Jonathan, the rest of them standing by the bike rack while Mike undoes his bike lock.

"Are you sure that you'll be able to fit on there?" Lucas asks with concern, Dustin examining Mike's bike intently.

"Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't I? We've done it before," Will responds, Dustin shaking his head.

"When we were, like, ten! That was five years ago, and we're teenagers now," Lucas continues, using his hands as he speaks to put emphasis on the age and time differences.

"Lucas is right," Mike huffs, looking at his bike, then Will, and lastly himself. "We're not both going to fit."

"We'll just walk it back then, right? Just like when we were kids and one of us would fall and get hurt."

"You mean when you would fall and get hurt," Dustin corrects.

"I hate when you guys talk about that stuff. You really know how to make a girl feel left out," Max chimes in, finally having kicked her skateboard up.

"Sorry," Will says, giving her a polite smile.

Mike just rolls his eyes, going back to assessing the bike situation. The thing with Mike and Max, they don't hate each other. They don't even dislike each other. In fact, they've grown to have a mutual respect for one another and agreed to get along for the sake of El. Because of that, they've even found that there's some common ground between them (that being them both being moody, hormonal teenagers, but nonetheless...). Still, though, they don't necessarily like each other.

"What was that for, Wheeler?" Max asks, only slightly snarky.

"Yeah, what the hell, man?" Lucas asks. There was that, too— Lucas and Max being boyfriend and girlfriend (thought Mike actually liked the idea of them together, because despite their few differences they do get along on a lot. They speak to each other).

"Nothing, just, don't worry about it, alright? You guys go on ahead and Will and I will figure something out. You too, Dustin. We both know that after '83 your mom will flip if you're not home by sundown."

"Watch out for cars," Dustin says as he and Lucas hop on their bikes and Mikes gets on her skateboard, the three going off together, laughter quickly filling the air among them.

Mike watches as they leave, thinking about what walking home with Will is going to be like. This wasn't something that had ever happened (mostly because last spring Will's mom finally let him start going off on his own again since he as officially a teenager). It made Mike nervous, the knowing that he was going to be alone with Will for a good while, the school not being directly in the middle of town, but still far enough to make a walk back to his house absolute hell.

Much to Mike's surprise, the walk home is fairly quiet between the two, only pointing out random road signs here and there, doing a little people watching, and laughing at some of the things they see along the way, but other than that, the two don't actually talk. Not that it's awkward or that they don't want to. That wasn't the case at all. They simply didn't need to.

They eventually get to Mike's house and they lean his bike against the wall in the garage, Mike holding open the door for Will as the two go inside, a little drizzle starting to fall with the slight overcast filling the sky. If you'd asked Mike, he'd lie and tell you he didn't like the rain all that much, but that couldn't be further from the truth. To Mike, this was the perfect weather. Since he was a kid he's dreamed of going out and dancing and jumping around in the rain with someone, anyone, but as the years have gone that person has become Will every time, and Mike hates it.

Well, not entirely. He likes the idea, actually. Spending time with Will, his favorite person in the world, in his favorite weather? That was pure heaven. But he knows what others would think, what they might assume, the things they'd start to say, and that's why he hates it. He hates it because it's romantic, and all Mike's life he's been told that two guys being romantic with each other is wrong. Mike himself knows it's not, but if that was him? It was a chilling thought that made him want to crawl in on himself every time.

Mike enters after Will, shutting the garage door behind him and messing with his hair a bit as they enter into the kitchen where they find Karen, Mike's mom. She smiles at them brightly while chopping up some vegetables, presumably for the night's dinner.

"Hey, boys. What took you so long getting here?"

"Well, Will can't ride on the back of my bike anymore, so we had to walk it home."

"Oh, you should have called! You know I would have come and picked you up."

"I know, Mom, but Will was the one who wanted to walk."

"Alright, then. Do you guys want a snack or anything before you go on upstairs or the basement— wherever it is that you two hang out nowadays?"

"Why would we go upstairs?" Will asks, genuine confusion washing over him.

"Well I thought since Mike likes y��"

"Okay, Mom! We're going downstairs now!"

"I love you!"

"I love you too!" Mike shouts as he hurriedly pulls Will down to the basement with him, slinging his bag off his shoulder and to a random spot on the floor.

Mike runs his hands over his face, feeling hot all over. He feels like he's dying. Simply knowing what his mother was about to say makes him feel insane. After all, he'd told her that in confidence. Sure, he's updated her on it every now and then, but not once has he ever mentioned anything that Will felt, which for Mike, only made things that much scarier. He has no idea how Will feels about him, and a part of him doesn't want to, because what if it's not in the way that he wants? What would happen then?

"I still can't believe you rearranged down here. I don't think I'll ever get used to it," Will says, sitting on the couch that sits against the far wall.

"Well, at least our spot hasn't changed. I was going to move it, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I don't know. It's weird. It's like it's sacred, or something."

"Sacred?"

"Nothing. Nevermind. Uh, what do you want to do? I mean, I have my Nintendo system, and we can play Super Mario Bros., but that's about it."

"Mike, we need to talk," Will says, sitting up just a bit as Mike sits down next to him.

"No, it's fine, Will. You like guys. I don't care. You're still you. And I'm sorry for my comment about...everything. I shouldn't have said anything."

"That's not what I meant. I mean, yeah, it's all whatever at the end of the day, but sometimes you forget that you've been distant, Mike. Like, a lot."

"Hey, I tried. Remember September? And, you know, Halloween and that first week of November I was as there for you as you let me be, but you shut me out. I wanted to be there, but it got kind of hard when you didn't want me."

"Of course I want you! Wanted you there, I mean. I was just scared of you finding out that I— that I'm..."

"But why? Will, I've defended you from the things people have said about you our entire lives!"

"Yeah, but what people say about me and me actually being that thing is different, Mike. So, so different."

"That's not a bad thing. People will say things no matter what, you know? I mean, they've said some stuff about me. I think it was because we got so distant, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember Troy?"

"I wish I didn't."

"Well, he's stopped messing with you, right?"

"Yeah..."

"That's because, you know, you and El and Max? You all hang out with Lucas, and now he's one of the cool kids, the popular kids, and I don't blame him for that. Not anymore, at least. But because of that, you're semi-cool. But me? I'm still stuck with the weird kids that nobody likes, and so he's turned all that hate and anger he had for you...onto me."

"Well, what has he been saying?"

"Oh, you know, just the usual stuff. The things that he'd call you, mostly," Mike says with a gulp, unable to meet Will's eyes. "And, you know," Mike continues, his voice softer and quieter now, "that's not an excuse or anything, but."

Will doesn't let him say anymore, pulling him into a tight hug as tears begin to fall from Mike's eyes, running down his cheeks. Mike grips onto Will tightly, lightly scratching his back as he does so. The hug feels like it lasts for an eternity, but really it only lasts for a minute or two. Still, Mike takes it all in (even if there is a small part of him that's telling him to pull away, that this is wrong and that they shouldn't be so close, because there is, but he forces himself to ignore it— for Will's sake).

"You know, I think his words might've started getting to me," Mike says with a self-depricating laugh after him and Will pull apart.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, for the past— God, I don't even know long— I've had this thought. It's this thought about kissing someone. A boy. And I don't...I don't know what it means, and I don't know if I want to know, but— but I do know that I— I want to try it, because I feel like that's the only way for me to stop feeling like this. Like I'm messed up."

"Hey, woah, you are not messed up. I mean, sure, you have your problems— we all do— but wanting to know what it's like to kiss a guy is not one of them. I mean, I'd like to know, too."

"That's right. You haven't had your first kiss yet."

"No, I haven't. I wonder why," Will says sarcastically, him and Mike both letting out a bit of laughter at the end.

Things fall silent once again, this time endless tension between them, Mike knowing full well he didn't say all that he should have, nor all that he needed to, because while it is true that he's thought of kissing boys, it's always been one boy in particular. Mike glances over at Will, only to find Will doing the same thing, and they both look away again quickly. Mike taps his pointer finger on his knee, thinking deeply. Finally, he decides to just go for it and finish what he'd been saying before.

"The guy I said I wanted to kiss? He's not just any guy. He's a really, really great guy, actually. I've known him for a really long time and he means to world to me, and I know that I'm the same for him, so I don't want to mess things up, but, Will...Will, that guy is you."

Will snaps his head to be looking at Mike, his eyes wide. Mike almost regrets saying his words, but then he watches as Will's body relaxes, sinking comfortably into his spot on the couch. He smiles slyly, sitting to be facing Mike completely and crossing his legs, Mike following suit and doing the same, only he keeps one leg on the ground, bending his toes as he pushes against the floor.

"Well," Will starts, picking at the material of the couch beneath him and looking at Mike while batting his lashes, "maybe we can kill two birds with one stone.

Mike watches as Will shrugs, stopping his fumbling with his fingers and looking at Mike fully now, his gaze strong, forcing Mike to have to look away. He needs a moment to process. Had Will really just said that?

"I, uhm..."

"You don't have to if you don't want to! It was just a random little thought..."

"No, no! I...we should."

"Oh! Okay."

The two boys stare at each other for a moment before Mike leans in, cupping Will's cheek with one hand while the other pushes into the couch cushion below him. He waits until Will shows some form of reciprocation before bringing their lips together in a soft, slow motion. Will kisses back immediately, his hands traveling into Mike's hair and kneading through the curly mess. The kiss slowly becomes more heated, Mike slipping his tongue past Will's teeth and lips and into his mouth, really kissing him, because he's not sure that he'll ever get this chance again.

Once they pull back, Mike immediately licks his lips and his eyes go wide. Cherry. He puts his thumb to Will's lips, running it along them, feeling smudged chapstick all over them. His mind is barely able to comprehend how this has happened. Mike knows that happens when you kiss, but the flavor being so prominent sends him for a whirlwind, going back in for a second kiss because he wants more.

Will is happy to reciprocate, him being the one this time to take control as Mike does nothing but hungrily lick along Will's lips, savoring that cherry flavor that he's quickly found so endearing and so Will. After a while of that, Will's mouth trails away from Mike's, kissing around his cheeks and jaw, Mike lost in the flavor of cherry that's enveloped all of his taste-buds, so much so that he's sure he's breathing it in at this point.

"Are you okay?" Will asks, pulling back as he notices that Mike isn't all there.

"You taste like cherry," Mike says in response, licking his lips once more.

"Oh. That's because of my new chapstick that my mom bought me."

"I liked it."

"The chapstick?"

"Kissing you," Mike says, his eyes glued to Will's lips.

"Yeah, that was...it was really good. I think. I don't really know."

"Well did you like it?"

"Yeah..."

"Then it was good," Mike says with a giddy smile, feeling like he's on top of the world.

"Should we play Super Mario Bros. now?"

"Sure," Mike says, pushing the thoughts of what just transpired between them to the back of his mind. He'll save that for a later date when he can finally get up the courage to tell Will how he really feels about him. That he likes him.

[aeempress]

Apritello Express Evidences, part 1

Greetings, Apritello enthusiasts and attention! Here comes a loong post is written by totally nerd. You've been warned. Here we go.

The thing is that Apritello is a double-edged sword. The series shows us established friendship of these two, give us a lot of content with them. We can see development of relationship through interaction between the characters, their reaction about the situations they are put in. We can sense their synergy and bound through the show.

Donnie and April have incredible chemistry, and both options, brotp and otp seems fine to me.

But let me tell you why I ship them.

Apritello is the kind of pairings, which consists of small details, hints, that's hidden, but if you're sharp and attentive one, you will notice that. Apritello has a strong foundation: the best friends trope.

And from the very beginning, it works as planned.

When I start watching show, I could say that April and Donnie are best friends. It is worth noting that April is like an older sister to the other brothers, more of a sisterly figure than a friend, but with Donnie she behaves somewhat differently, namely, as best friend. Obviously, she sets him apart from his brothers, although girl tries to pay attention to all of them equally. And Donnie behaves as well.

Dee's battle shell designs for April needs as well as his. His shell transform into comfy spot for taking ride for April. Special and only for her. Because his bros are not supposed to use it (at least, he carries no one on his back), Donnie carries them by his techno-bó or his limbs.

This tiny detail shows his special treatment to her. April is a very, very special occasion to D. Don does care about her comfort, he accept the way she is. Donatello does not try to prevent her from participating in their affairs because he respects her decisions and is pleased that April can be shoulder to shoulder with him.

D is glad to be at her service.

Yeah, Dee's still playing cool, he has image to perform as tough and coolheaded guy. So Don doesn't show his intentions, interest and feeling to other people (he's tryin', but fails). Because his actions matter. They are always small, hidden, but meaningful.

April, in return, trusts Dee and depends on his tech, even knowing what his inventions are the opposite of success (usually).

Go on. Look at Donnie's facial expressions and body language when April is near.

Donnie seems more relaxed when she's around, happier. His emotional response is always different from his brothers ones.

Oh, and look, he wanted to be first to give her a high three.

They worry about each other. Look at Don. He does worry about her way more than his brothers. Yeah, they all want to protect her, but Donnie is more expressive.

Mayham has no particular sympathy for the brothers: he is afraid of Raph and behaves aggressively, he is indifferent to Leo and Mikey. Mayham immediately takes a liking to April. And then the details come back: he let Donnie touch his neck. The most vulnerable place for any living creation, for a second. Let him to study an important vial without any hesitation. Mayham depends on April trust for Donnie. When everything goes wrong for Don, the little doggie comes to his rescue, just as April would have done. Is the hint transparent enough?

We can see links with "A mystic library", wherе Donnie begins to look for solutions to save April's pet. Yes, this may seem like his next leap, "sit down, I'm smart, and now I'll solve all the problems, watch and learn," but Don says one phrase that opens up the veil of the second plan, what happens behind the scenes. "My illiteral colleagues and I was conducting a mustic research, with a life of the beloved pet, hanging in a bounce".

Strange wording, Donatello. Beloved pet? Not yours, as we can see. I can say, that everything in this sentence is true, but Donnie and Mayham has something more.

Continue. Next episode "Origami tsunami". Interactions are kept to a minimum, as April herself appears for a maximum of 5 minutes in the series itself. But devil is always in the details, dear friends.

When April was attacked and hung up, the only one who excitedly called out to her was Donny. Raph is furious that the thieves have escaped, Leo is frustrated that their plan has failed, and Mikey is worried about the salami.

Yeah, we didn't see his worries about her when she fell, because Donnie is on the mission and must be coolheaded turtle, and second, he's calm because now April life is safe and sound, out of the danger.

Dear passangers, Apritello Express arrives to the next station - episode "War and Pizza".

Bare facts:

1. April has Donnie's number on an emergency call.

2. "Anything for you"

3. Donnie is the reason why Alberto knows April's name.

No one calles April by her name (except for Donnie, while phone call, but Alberto wasn't nearby) it was "Captain O'Neil" by her chief, her badge seems blank. And yeah, you can say, that's just economy of budget, but I assure you: in the first episode we were shown the name of the delivery guy. The animators were not lazy bones and wrore "Stewart" on his badge. So if something isn't there, then it either shouldn't be there, or it really isn't, that's how this show works.

So, the reason explained in the episode. When Al has short circuit, parts of its new code flashed through its mind.

Info about April was in its memory, in its code. Alberto was a lame animatronic, and it seems somewhat outdated. I do really doubt about Alberto is being something smartass machine with complicated AI like Freddy's Pizza's ones. Quite questionable. Donatello fix Al's brain and wrote code, synchronize with his remote control. He put information about Cap O'Neil into animatronic's head. All this pictures are kind of massage: "You was created for birthday celebrations. You are machine, and there concepts of "life" and "birth". Do great party for this birthday kid and April won't be like this". Or, something like that.

So Alberto did - do a memorable party. And he do what his creator programmed him to do, but in his way.

4. In other words, Alberto was a tool to impress April. Don flaunts himself in front of her, stating how he did the upgrade while doing the upgrade, even though April is fully aware of his tech wizard. And his abilities supposed to help Cap O'Neil to finish the birthday party, so she will stay at her job, not fired. All thanks to Donnie and his upgrade Alberto. (Or not)

By the way, Donnie was the last to leave April in ruined "Alberto's". And it's not an isolated case, it is a pattern.

5. They understand each other without words.

First, Donny came at her at the speed of light. Second, she hadn't even finished speaking before Dee was taking Al apart. Third, their chaotic, well-coordinated work? Donnie was a distraction (although he wanted to just take a break from the battle or let Alberto's guard down, while April just knocked him out). Donnie and April are great team, and sometimes the DonniexApril team is much more precise, coordinated, and interdependent than the DonniexBrothers one.

D&A feel each other and anticipate each other's actions, their skills complement each other, creating an incredible synergy of their interaction. They act as a whole, while it's not always possible with his brothers, even though they're family and know each other the way more Donnie know April. And Dee hasn't trained with cap O'Neil.

Donatello didn't show his crush for April. No puppy, loving eyes, no lovey-dovey speeches, no planning schemes (at least, the audience don't see one) . He just want her attention, but stays cool and hidden. D is already her BFF, but still.

The same thing is claimed in 5B episode - Mascot Melee. Donnie has no problems with interaction with idol of his childhood - Atomic Lass. She'd put Leo in a stupor, but Donnie? He playfully challenges her to a dance duel. Yes, he adores this character, who may have become his measure of the attractiveness of others to Donatello, determined his type. But still, he's playing all cool and confident guy, he's really smooth with girls, so you will never see a puppy loving eyes from him. Only two things can betray him at this point: his voice and his body language. Remember, how's soft his voice became for Atomic Lass? Now I want you to remember the scene before, in turtle tank, when April sent guys a meme.

D is the first to respond to the message, despite the fact that Mikey is sitting closest to the screen. And the responding is a little too emotional for this situation, don't you think?

And this face of his. And he comments it. He likes her sense of humour.

The only difference between April and Atomic Lass is that the first one is a real girl who is a friend of their family, practically a member of it; and the other one is just a fictional character. It is easier to say about love for a fictional character, because it brings less problems for a teenager, especially when he is living with three brothers and a father who likes to tease as well. Donatello needs to be careful and outline the area of emotions he could show, so that he does not get hurt.

Now, dear passangers, we are returning to the previous episode, shall we?

Donnie presents to his brothers his precious Turtle tank, but she's gone, and it's really necessary to find out, who has taken her. And the first person to suspect is April.

Something is odd, don't you think? Yeah, Raphael has taken tyre for their "Midnight special", Leo claimed that Donnie's stuff is common, but they are D's beothers. It's natural for family to borrow(stole) stuff of each other. But this trend was not observed in April. She would never steal anything from Donnie, much less steal anything from him.

Actually, there is a good, logical and solid explanation here. April was number 1 in Donatello' suspect list, because he simply told her about Turtle tank. His brothers didn't know he were working at Moon buggy, except Mikey (Orange helps Dee get the vehicle from Repomantis), but they didn't know what exactly Donnie was working for. They didn't know he build the Turtle tank, he kept it a secret, to surprise his brothers. But April knew.

- Alright you! Where's our turtle tank?

- Hi, DONNIE. You have 9 seconds to say, why are you just broke my door.

- Someone's stole Donnie's turtle tank.

- Haha-ow, I see. As your best friend, you naturally suspect me.

- She gets it!

- Oh-ho, don't give me that! You're the only one could taken it!

The only one, because she knew about it.

As Splints said in this episode - "April is not a snitch"

Donatello does trust April and share with her both, sorrows and joys. But we are not shown this directly. We do not see the action itself, we do not see their calls and conversations on the phone late at night, we only see the consequence. We have no choice and take it as a given.

And the way she cooled him down? Fast, efficient, and Donnie seems to used to it. Moreover, she slapped everyone, but still, she throw Don out of window the last. However, why such a large time delay between him, being slapped and him, was throwing out of the window?

And my favourite scene. It was obvious that Donnie had taken the hardest hit (judging by his scream and the way he was putting his knuckles back in place). Don then claims that their inner circle is secure, Mikey tries to make amends for everyone, and April agrees, blowing them a kiss and closing the window. Cute and mean, isn't it? (You're cute! but mean! why do I always go for your type?! - ep. War and Pizza)

Nota bene: Donnie wouldn't apologize to April. Tough, not caring badass boy image, remember? Even to best friends. It's hard to him to express his feelings by using words, he cannot do it in proper way. But he has Mikey, who is so alike inner him. Michelangelo apologizes not only for himself, but for D mostly, because D starts suspected April.

Let's continue: the episode 8B: Hypno Part Deux

• Donnie put "Donnie's blocker" at April's phone to protect her.

It's common thing that your friend install some programs or apps on your device. But you will always ask your friend to do such a favour, and you will always know about what, when and where were installed on your phone.

And April didn't know Donnie had done something with her phone. It was a real surprise for her, to see blocker with "Donnie says no-no-no".

And you know, the interface of his app. The way he tell this current phrase. Donnie could put a huge banner "THE APP YOU WANT DOWNLOAD TO IS A REAL PIECE OF GARBAGE", as usual antiviruses do. But no, voice interface. It makes the app more personal and thoughtful. Because when Don made gifts for his brother, the program was voiced by a computer-generated female voice. Yes, the tank's interface is voiced by Donatello himself, but his voice sounds more like Google than the real Don. And, we talking about HIS BABEY, for a second. Bit still, the point remains.

• Also, Dale.

Dale is nerdy boy in purple, wow, how convenient for making a parallel with certain purple turtle.

But thing is, April doesn't like Dale. He's clingy, remora guy, who has a little obsession with April, even he's not harmful, still, such behaviour freaks girls (and not them only) out. Her classmate is usually tell her what April O'Neil is "his favourite person" and he loves her. There is little that is attractive about this behavior.

So, there is nothing new and unpredictable here that Dale was rejected. Because April didn't, doesn't and won't like him because of his lame personality and strange behaviour. Our girl in yellow do right thing: she clearly sets personal boundaries and does not allow any dubious personalities to invade them. So that's the reason she refuses to go on a date with him at the end. He's weird, obsessed, and she doesn't like him.

Donatello, as far as I concerned from different versions of TMNT, was always a little obsessive with some things. And, you know, putting a blocker inside your best friend's phone seems a little weird, because it's, in simple words, violation of privacy and personal space. And there are people who may regard this as stalking or sorta.

Yeah, for the most part, he gets away with it, not only because April's focus is in a different area, but also because their bond is stronger than April's with anyone else at school.

She has known him for years. Donnie is her best friend. I can't say that it's fine to her when Dee violates her personal space - her phone, but April can accept Donatello's personality in general.

And he does really have good intentions. Donnie installed this blocker, developed by himself only for one reason: to protect personal space April from fishy apps from nowhere, from being hacked and etc. Don knew her too well, how much she depends on stupid apps that will distract her. He also knew well, that he can't be with her 24/7 to fix problems with April's phone, so Dee put a part of himself to prevent any harm in the future.

And again, "Donnie's gifts"'s vibes. Donatello genuinely cared about April, because he wrote, coded, developed, designed, and dubbed it, turned on the database, and installed it all on April's phone. 'cause, you know, writing programs in general is a bit of a hassle, but writing an antivirus is much more difficult, because viruses are changing, and questionable applications are finding ways to bypass. Do you feel how much effort Dee put in for her?

But Donatello didn't mean to fix April, as he tried to do with his brothers. Purple turtle accepts this girl the way she is, and tries his best to play smoothly with April, by adjusting, not being passive aggressive jerk. It's his outstanding way to show his caring nature, soft side.

Remember, small but meaningful actions.

Maybe, Donnie also can foresee that April may be forced to download some suspicious program, but still, it work: he managed to prevent April being hypnotized, even if couldn't be physically with April at the this moment - Dee was working for Repo Mantis, building dog's paradise for Todd. That's why, by the way, Leo and Raph were dragged into this whole situation. Mayham would teleported literally anyone to help his hostess. Donnie just wasn't at the Lair at the moment.

And on this note, we'll take a break for now. Stay tuned, expect parsing of the series, there's a lot to discuss.

Part 2

Part 3

[sigmanutz]

living with Marc in college would consist of ___

caveat: alcohol, implications of coitus, lewd jokes, Layla is mentioned (some of you don't like her), college!Marc, roommate debacles with Marc, this man oozes pheromones, nb!reader, bro and dude are used in a gender neutral sense

pairings: poly!roomies (nb!reader x Marc Spector x actually anyone), Marc x Layla, nb!reader x Marc

A/N: not beta'd, just had to get the idea out of my head before I do some physics homework.

sharing avocado toast on the last pieces of wheat for brunch before you run off to class -- aka dumb jokes about eating butt together

cold ones on a wednesday afternoon, 'its 5pm somewhere probably'

5am runs. he's a damn health nut, 'it's good for you, idiot.'

pet names that stick: tweedle-dee, loser, dingus

you're mainly the wing mate at the bars. college!Marc loves the older ladies and can talk game to everybody but them for some ungodly reason. luckily, they love your energy

he plays wingman, too. however, he has difficulty turning off the charm. 'maybe I've just got one of those faces,' he would chide. the night typically ends with three bodies in your bedroom.

the first time poly!roommates happen, you guys leave the girl in bed red in the face after some hard petting and run off to the bathroom for an impromptu meeting. staring into each other's eyes through the mirror, you both gear up for a long night.

'it's college -- we're hot, and we like having fun, right? she's an amazing kisser. where are the condoms??' Marc pants as he applies deodorant, grunting out a set of push-ups afterwards.

'yeah, dude, seriously, she's super cute. the love gloves are under the sink.' you respond, spritzing some scent from last christmas on your wrists. 'plus, life is short. why not just try to enjoy ourselves with friends?' you add, lips moist from a fresh layer of chapstick.

'everything's cool as long as we're all having a good time.' you smile and pat him on the cheek, handing him a shot of mouthwash with your own dixie cup half-full in hand. 'here's to fun times?' you both grin, clink a 'cheers', gurgle, spit, and high-five.

the next morning's breakfast is black coffee and bagels with no cream cheese.

afterwards, you're both pretty content with sleeping in your room -- you have a queen-size bed and working A/C, whereas he's got a king-size, but his room's south-facing with wide windows, and the A/C unit that went out last spring

aka his room gets way too hot for extraneous activities

if it's not apparent yet, y'all are complete menaces to society

Marc hates calling maintenance since they always break at least one of his plants, so you get to play secretary with official matters

planned study sessions between the two of you are hardly productive. he has no patience, and its way too easy to get under his skin

eating dinner in the student union in a corner when you're both too lazy to cook

when you eat at home, he's the kind of line cook who puts a hand on your waist as he's passing behind you. that part of your relationship is unspoken.

it never fails to make you flush

chilling in the living room in the Chicago heat, in nothing but underwear because you're both too heat-exhausted to judge

during all three years of living together, you both dance on the fence of stupid jokes and teasing, but it never goes too far as Marc's too lovely to step over the boundaries

and that summed up the relationship: too caring, too comfortable, and too silly

bar hopping after your last quarter's finals, the night before graduation, you guys discuss the future over street meat

Marc's devouring hot dogs, and you're drunkenly keeping track of how many.

'I'm totally leaving a bad review for my ethics prof on ratemyprofessor, he was totally checking out the freshman girls' he says in pieces

'you'd realize its most of the old farts at this uni if it wasn't for your heads always being stuck in some folklore book.' you quipped, rolling your eyes and pushing his head.

'hey -- doesn't make it okay!'

'oh yeah, white knight, please continue while you drunkenly slobber on a frank.'

'bro i'm definitely aware,' he argues pettily, proving your point of his false alertness. 'mhmm.'

failing to talk him down from his umpteenth weener, the alcohol makes you feel foggy and unable to stop yourself from grasping his solid bicep, you titter and the statement flies out of your mouth, 'dude, you're pretty hot when you stuff your face with sausages'

he stops mid-brat as you both burst out into laughter. really, he's guffawing so hard you're surprised they're not coming out of his nose.

once his laughter dies down, he sends you a humorous glance, 'speak for yourself, 'gimme more sex on the beach.' woulda had to pull you off the barback if we didn't leave after your 8th drink.'

another round of drunk giggles later, Marc spent the next day chained to the toilet, swearing off 'sausages in his mouth' and 'sex on the beach.'

hangover aftercare, lots of head pets, pedialyte, and ibuprofens

when Layla comes around, you're elated for their blossoming romance. she wasn't at all a victim of the roommate tyranny that bulldozed through most of the bars on university street, nor did she judge either of you. she was brilliant and radiant, a wonderful contrast to Marc's stoic-at-times demeanor and hard-ass attitude. plus he'd spend weekends at her's and that meant plenty of much needed private time for yourself

somewhat lonely after realizing that your friend and Layla were in it for the long run, you began to venture out and make more friends in your department.

after one too many sober wine nights in the art park, it led you to thinking. the master's program you were interested in was no longer your path. why go to school for another year when you could start living your life and making money?

and Marc? once your partner in crime, now a bird who opened his wings wide and flew the nest, spent most of his time at Layla's nowadays.

poor guy damn near had a meltdown trying to understand why you wanted to pursue a career without him.

living in a bubble of academics sounded nice, but the reality of it all was that you had to integrate back into society somehow. your student debt surely wasn't paying itself off anytime soon.

rather than out of possessiveness, but more out of an inability to comprehend, Marc was vocal about his confusion, about why you were choosing to skip out on him the master's program when you both vowed to pursue academia.

Layla's respect for you and Marc's friendship was plentiful and she was more patient than you could've asked for in anyone you'd ever met. You harbored envy for the loyalty that her and Marc held for each other, it made you wish you could find it in anyone, but it never seemed in arm's reach; people always wanted definition and romance, relationships that had expectations and outcomes that you felt like you couldn't dish out.

regardless, she was the first to jump at offering help, so the couple moved you out and even traveled overseas to see you off in your new situation.

their stay was extended for a week and then two, taking the couch and floor while helping you settle into the new surroundings of London and furnishing the loft. After they left, months quickly turned into years. Using postcards, you stayed in touch through the different places you'd visited on your vacations and unlimited sick days.

over time your interaction with Marc lessened to a hand-written letter every month or so, always signing off in your blocky scrawl with a 'your's truly'

he always returned with a multi-page response no matter how short your messages were. he'd write about his master's program, Layla's parents, and how they looked at him weird when the couple visited their lovely summer home in the south of France. he even mentioned that he joined the Marines after he finished his master's degree and went on a couple tours.

the stark contradiction between your novels was hard to ignore when listening to Marc's letters in his voice. the well-paying salary job you got in London consumed all your time and the formerly booming social life you had was non-existent, and his life was going pretty, well, ordinary as well

but you had found comfort in solitary and love in travelling around europe or taking the train. the little things started to hold more value than the grand scheme of life.

then their engagement announcement turned up in the mail

it was exquisite like Layla. the off-white cardstock gave off a scent of orange blossoms and earthy sandalwood, professional calligraphy and all making it official that they were going to become one under the sun. like an official stamp of moving on from your seemingly past life, you sent an rsvp marked 'not attending' and then a week later, sent off the last letter marc would receive for years, signed 'your's'

you never heard from Marc after that and years continued to fly by

promotion after promotion helped you forget about Marc until you got a strange voicemail from a US number. Listening to it on the bus after you got off work, it sounded like a butt dial during some bar fight, then you heard Marc's distinct shout 'HEY!'

you tried the number and then his old cell number, an 8-digit string from ages ago that you doubt actually worked, and was met with his voicemail message twice.

things started to get strange after the vm, you swore you saw Marc, or a tired and lost version of him at least, stumble on the same bus once or twice but chalked it up to your head playing mindgames

then on a trip to the museum for the new Egypt exhibit, your eyes all but fell out of their sockets. an individual with sullen cheekbones, dark eye bags, and haphazard hair -- an all-around resemblance to an older Marc -- stood behind a white counter, selling pyramid trinkets and candy bars under a sign that read 'Gift Shop'

in disbelief, you walked up to the desk and got a closer look at him. he looked like your college roommie, but the nervous disposition and awkward appearance with clothes two sizes too big said otherwise.

you said a hello and asked for a map of the exhibit, fully aware of the info desk giving them out on your way in. 'oh, sorry, you'd be looking for the nice miss at the booth over there.' he answered in a british accent, the same thick fingers pointing towards the entrance.

you dazedly apologized, nodding slightly as you were too busy staring into his wide brown eyes, familiar and not at the same time. he offered a polite smile, which came off as a grimace, and waved a bit.

'Sorry again, I couldn't help but notice that you seem kinda familiar -- maybe you've just got one of those faces -- but I don't know, I don't believe we've met before.' you introduce yourself with the upturn of your lips, holding out a hand. then you caught the glint of metal on his chest.

'oh, all right, well... it's nice to meet you. I'm Steven with a v.' he said, reaching out to shake your hand.

[librarianbusdriver]

[Text made illegible by stabbing.]

When I really wanted to go to the bar. The bar... Big surprise. You sure spent a lot of time in bars. Ted: Well, that's just we did back then. Me, marshall and lily, Barney, We all used to hang out at this one bar Called mcclaren's. But then, one night... Why don't we go to mcclaren's? Let's go to mcclaren's. You guys talking to each other? Nobody's listening? What's wrong with mcclaren's? Mcclaren's is bore-snore. Ted, tonight we're going to go out. We're going to meet some ladies. It's going to be legendary. Phone five. Ted: I had no idea why I hung out with barney. You didn't phone five, did you? I know when you don't phone five, ted. Come on. We always to go to mcclaren's. Yeah, 'cause mcclaren's is fun. Mcclaren's is this much fun. What I'm offering is the chance to have... This much fun. See, you say that. You say it's going to be this much fun, But most of the time it ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe. It's guaranteed. This hand gesture thing Doesn't really work on the phone, does it? No, it doesn't. ( Tires squealing ) Get in the cab. Marshall, you, too. I think lily and I are just going to... I understand. Get in the cab. Why can marshall say no? Uh, because he's getting laid. Consistently. Ted, ted, ted... You keep going to the same bar. You're in a rut. And I am a rut-buster. I'm going to bust your rut. It's not a rut, okay? It's a routine, and I like it. Ted, what's the first syllable in "rut-tine"? Peace out, suckers. All right, so what's this legendary plan? First we've got to pick someone up at the airport. Okay, I'm out of here. Estaban, doors. ( Doors locking ) Okay, we just do this one little thing, And the rest of the night is ours. Why do you have those suitcases, And who are we picking up? I don't know. Maybe her. Or her. ( Chuckles ) Wait, so when you said you were going To pick someone up at the airport, You meant you were going to "pick someone up" At the airport? Scenario: A couple of girls fly into town Looking for a fun weekend in nyc, When the meet Two handsome international businessmen Just back from a lucrative trip to japan. Sample dialogue: "you have a wheelie bag? Well, I have a wheelie bag." You've got to be kidding me. False. Sidebar... Tuck in your shirt. You look sketchy. I'm sketchy? Trust me, it's going to be legendary. Don't say "legendary," okay? You're too liberal with the word "legendary." We're building an igloo in central park. It's going to be legendary. Snowsuit up! Ted, ted, ted... Right here. This is happening. Now you can either put the bags on the carousel now, Or you can listen to me give you A really long speech Convincing you to put the bags on the carousel. Your move. Ted, since the dawn of time... Mankind has struggled... That night, marshall had a ton of studying to do. So lily went out with robin... Who was new to new york and looking for a friend. I'm so glad we finally get to hang out, just the two of us. Yeah. You sure you're okay giving up your Friday night To hang with an old, almost married lady? Oh, please. I'm so sick of the meat market scene. Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another one comes along in five minutes. Unless it's the end of the night and then you get on anything. Hey-oh! Compliments of that guy. Really? Sweet. Oh, for you it's $6. Oh, yes, that's one drawback to being engaged. I'm sure that's why he didn't... [Text made illegible by stabbing.] To refine our back story first. How did we...? Ted, you klutzy great guy you. Hey, I'm barney. Hi. My god, are you okay? I am so sorry. It's fine. No, you were shaky on your landing. I give you a 9.2. Ooh. Hi. I'm ted. Look, I'm really sorry that we have to hit and run, But we've got a plane to catch. Where you headed? Philadelphia. Philly? That's where we're headed. You are? Well, then we'll see you on the plane. Yes, you will. Follow them. Ticket's on me. [Text made illegible by stabbing.]

( Phone ringing ) Whazzup, ted? Are you all right? Yeah. Hey, guess where I am. I'm on a... Ready? Plane to... Ready? Philadelphia. [Text made illegible by stabbing.]

Let's go talk to those girls. Whoa, whoa, the seat belt sign's on. Ted, you've been living your whole life in a seat belt. It's time to unclick. Sir, the seat belt light's on. Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Well, I grew up in park slope. Oh, I love park slope. When did you move to manhattan? You're from park slope? Uh, no, she is. So where are you from? Heaven? Yeah, I'm a ghost. I died 15 years ago, like that pickup line. Hey-oh! God, I'm so sorry. Oh, believe me, I've been there. I have this line that I use when guys come... Check it out. Hey... You take this one. I'll save it for the next one. ( Chuckles ) So what brings you guys to philly? We're visiting our boyfriends. I think hers is going to propose this weekend. Isn't that great? So great. So there we were: Stuck on an airplane to philadelphia With two very un-single girls, [Text made illegible by stabbing.] crowding your junk. I'm not gonna take off my ring. Wouldn't you be jealous Of guys swarming all over my beeswax? Oh, yeah, you know me... I'm the jealous type. Any goon so much as looks at you, I'll sock him in the kisser. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] Bye. Robin! Robin! Hey, I'm over here. ♪ G-g-goin' to philly! Marshall, don't come to philly. But we're on an adventure. We're on a tarmac in philadelphia. Crazy... Adventure. Fine. No! No! The night has just started. Look, airport bar. Flight attendants. They'll get your tray table in its full upright position. Say what?! Passengers mosby and stenson, please come with us, gentlemen. Keep your hands where I can see them. Barney, I am going to kill you. Don't say you're gonna kill someone In front of airport security. Not cool, not cool. This is an outrage! We are international businessmen On very important international business trip. I demand you release us immediately! You demand?! No, no, no, no, no. He does not demand. We-we-we-we have no demands. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] Okay. Yeah, I'm calm. I'm totally calm. We've got footage of you placing two bags On jfk carousel 3, [Text made illegible by stabbing.] We are international businessmen. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] Now, please let us go Before we miss our international business meeting. Can't remember the last time I saw an international businessman With an untucked shirt. In addition, we received This footage taken over the last few months. Believe it or not, that duffel bag thing worked. The truth is, my friend... He does this thing where he goes to airports With fake luggage to pick up girls, And we followed some here to philadelphia. That-that-that's it. That's all this is. [Text made illegible by stabbing.] We at least get to call our lawyer. Exactly! We have a lawyer? Listen to me... you're both american citizens. Don't let him pull any patriot act voodoo. You both retain the right To refuse to answer any questions So don't say anything until I get there, all right? Okay. Good-bye. ♪ Philly! ♪ The adventure continues ♪ destroy! It's ridiculous in here. Why don't we go somewhere else? No, this place is great. What are you doing? What? With your lips and everything? My lips are always like this. You had to play the race card. Oh, relax, ted. We didn't do anything wrong. And, b.T.W., we'd be out of here by now If you had tucked in your shirt. Go ahead, jfk. What is the baggage status? They're clean. It's just a whole bunch of condoms. And a powerbar. You're free to go. Ted: Don't come to philly. Man, I'm almost halfway there. Yeah, we just got released And we're heading back on the next flight. Uh, meet us at mcclaren's. Maybe we can still make last call. Can't we just, just... No, we can't just. We're going home. We're going to sasha's. Who the hell is sasha? Sasha. She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's gonna be legen... Wait for it... And I hope you're not lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is... Dary! No. Legendary. Legendary. That sounds awesome. No,

marshall, we're going back. Fine. Hold on. I have another call. ( Beep) Hello? Marshall, we're going to sasha's. No, we're not. Ted, ted, ted. Right here. Yes, we are. ( Beep) Sorry, buddy... two against one. Ooh, look, a booth opened up. Really? Yeah, I thought we could Finally go talk... And you're not Listening to me, so I'm going to walk away. Yeah, yeah, booth. Hey. Hey. I'm engaged. Yeah, I'm sorry. I took my ring off. It's very, very sweet of you To come over and talk to me, but I just... Yeah, I'm gay. I just came over to let you know That you sat on a grape. Oh, damn it. Ted: So barney and I hit the town. Philadelphia, pa. Our first and only stop: Sasha's party. ( tv blaring ) So, uh... You're sasha's friends, huh? You know it. ( Whispering): You guys, keep the volume down. You're gonna wake my grandpa. Who wants hard lemonade? Philly! Shh! ( softly): Philly. Back at the bar, girls' night out Wasn't going as robin had hoped. ( cell phone ringing ) Lily's phone. Robin, uh, where's lily? She's, uh... Is she talking to some hot guy? Oh, you can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea. Hell, I told her she could take the ring off. Really? Well, I thought it was kind of weird, But if you're cool with it, yeah, uh, it's off, And she's talking to some guy. Do you want me to go over and... No, don't interrupt. It's awesome. So, the ring's really off, huh? It's awesome. Well, just tell her I called. And tell her that she is... Awesome. ♪ Really, really awesome ( weakly ): ♪ our relationship is built on mutual trust ♪ I can't breathe. ( Iaughing ) You hear that, ted? Dana works security at the liberty bell. I do okay. Wow, it must be really well cordoned off over there. Do you ever go behind the rope and touch it? Only all the time. You ever, like, stick your head inside it? Yeah. You ever lick it? Nope. I have never licked it. Hmm. I bet nobody in history has ever licked the liberty bell. If someone were to pull that off, I dare say it would be... What's the word? Well, this is my stop. Legendary. Ted, legendary. Barney, I'm going to the airport. Sasha, thank you, and, uh, Tell your grandpa I'm sorry I walked in on him in the bathroom. I'll get some club soda for that stain. Lily, I thought tonight was about us hanging out. Just fending off the advances of that totally hot guy. Dude, I think that guy is gay. Oh, I know that guy is gay. It's just, marshall and I have been together for nine years. I haven't been single since high school. You want to be single? You want to fight off loser guys all night? Does that seem like fun to you? I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean And see how many fish I could catch. So far, one. One gay dolphin. And marshall. Lily, all these girls here tonight Are all hoping to catch what you've already got. You're right. I know. Hey, do you want to go get coffee And have an actual conversation? If by "coffee" you mean "cheesecake," then yes. Hey, I got that club soda. Let's see that booty. Oh, thank you so much. You want to mess, pal? That's my fiancée's hot backside that you're dabbing. Marshall, no. Baby, please, don't ever take that ring off again, No matter how awesome I say that it is. It's okay, man... Back off, hombre! I'm not that afraid to fight you. You want to test This guy, be my guest, come on. Marshall, he's gay. Oh, thank god. I've never been in a fight before. You don't say. Ted: So, it turned out Uncle marshall really was the jealous type. Unfortunately, that guy's boyfriend... Also the jealous type. Hey! Could have licked the liberty bell. We're going to the airport. Bong... Bong... Bo... Why do I hang out with you? Why? All I wanted was to have a regular beer At my regular bar with my regular friends In my regular city. Ted, ted, ted. You're not even looking. No, I'm not. Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay? Not for the sit around and wait of happiness. Now, if you want, You can go to

the same bar, drink the same beer, Talk to the same people every day, Or you can lick the liberty bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it. That was beautiful, man. Thanks, leonard. Ted, you're missing out on a valuable life lesson here. Look, I don't need you to teach me how to live, okay? I know how to live. If you want to go lick the liberty bell, Just go lick it yourself. No, it has to be the two of us. Why? Why do you need me? Because you're my best friend, all right? You don't have to tell me I'm yours, But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm... I'm just the dynamic uno. So, fine, if you want to go home, Then we'll go home. ( Sighs ) Fine. We'll go lick the liberty bell. Good 'cause we're here. I had no idea how barney Redirected the cab without me knowing, And by god, we licked the liberty bell. You know what it tastes like? What? Freedom. No, actually, it tastes like pennies. Oh, my god. Did you guys really do that? We really did. And that was when I realized why I hung out with barney. I never got where I thought I wanted to go, So, that girl you were talking to... That was mom? Kids, every story in a man's life Is like a dot in an impressionist painting... So that's a no? Yeah, that's a no. ( Kids sighing) [Text made illegible by stabbing.]

Hmm...? The manufactured world around me falls apart! A fanged smirk plays across my lips, as I know, here and now, that a kind Samaritan is granting me...

Freedom!

WHAT THE FUCK????

FREEDOM? WHAT??? HUH???????

[timeisacephalopod]

AU-College. Tony/?. Tony already 17 and working on yet another doctorate has just returned from home after a school break. He's covered in bruises but he doesn't bother to hide them because he honestly believes no one notices or cares. Always on edge and doing anything and everything to forget the pain, Tony is confused when people he doesn't even know start to ask if he's okay and if he needs any help. Laughing in their face he replied. "You can't help, no one can." (I feel dark today sry?)

So I went with Tony/ Eddie Brock (from Venom if you don’t know). Eddie is an investigative journalist (or in this case he’s in school to be one) and tbh I have no freaking clue how journalism school works (journalism school?) so I’ve sort of made it work like humanities courses? Idk, just accept my bad plot needs bois. Also I altered the ‘you can’t help’ line to better fit the scenario, but the sentiment is the same.

As the prompt suggests, warning abuse references.

Eddie needs a story and since his asshole prof likes corporations a lot more than he does that’s out. Which throws a bunch of stuff in his usual wheelhouse out with it. He thought homelessness was a good topic but got told that wasn’t news, which he doesn’t understand because to his knowledge homelessness isn’t solved. Then he thought hey, school shootings happen basically every other day- they like to say if it bleeds it leads and a whole lot of kids seem to be dying. But he got told the news is already oversaturated with that. So he thought fine, maybe police brutality, that’s violent and not on the news much but he got told that was too controversial and what the fuck is the news for if not to be controversial?

Now he’s stuck with the task of finding a story his irritatingly picky prof will like and to add insult to the injury one of his classmates got approved to write about cryptocurrency. What the fuck is that? Stupid, in Eddie’s opinion. His topics were important, real world issues and this dumbass over here gets to write shit about something no one cares about. Predictable.

He’s eating his muffin angrily and wondering if he can somehow convince his prof to let him write something about climate change and the fact that no matter what an individual does, its still 100 companies doing seventy percent of the damage so why is the news focusing on individuals over corporations when he spots a potentially easier sell. Boy genius, way ahead of his time, and well loved by the American public. He has no interest in Tony Stark whatsoever but there has to be a story there, something underneath that irritatingly arrogant rich kid veneer that’s worth writing about so he decides to make a move.

*

Tony hates waking up before noon on any given day, assuming he went to bed at all, and dealing with people? He doesn’t like that at any time of day so when he’s minding his own damn business only to have some random guy with porn star lips- he swears to god that’s the only accurate description- he’s already annoyed. “Who the hell are you? Never mind, I don’t actually care,” he says in an irritable tone before going to turn back around but the guy takes his brief interruption to his day in a totally different direction than Tony was expecting.

“Nice shiner, where’d you get that?” he asks and Tony freezes for a moment, used to that fleeting feeling that someone might guess at the truth before realizing no one cares anyways.

He rolls his eyes, “you wouldn’t care if I told you, and even if you did its not like there’s anything you could do about it. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Its not like he’s never said anything and not one time has anything come of it. Sometimes people laugh, actually, and Tony doesn’t know what’s worse. People  not hearing him at all or people hearing just fine, but they make a joke out of it. Silence isn’t his thing, but he’s developed a thick skin in regards to how people treat him. Doesn’t have much of a choice, living under his father’s roof and in the public eye. Its amazing, Tony thinks, how fucking obvious his abuse is and no one seems to see what’s in front of their damn faces.

Something about his words seem to draw his companion’s attention though and Tony recognizes the look. “Are you a reporter?” he asks and the guy looks surprised for a half a second.

“Good instinct- but technically I’m still in school,” he says like Tony fucking cares about that.

“Yeah, fuck off,” he says bluntly. He’s got no time for another asshole looking to capitalize off the Tony Stark Story when none of them even get the damn story right.

“You have an interesting take on green energy. Only big name attached to it, too,” he says and Tony frowns.

“You know about my interest in green energy?” he asks. No one ever asks him about his passion project, they all want to know about the bombs and if Tony is honest he’s never really been comfortable with what his father’s company does. He knows the military has a use, and that there are protocols, and a bunch of other things his father has said over and over again but he still wonders what happens when things go wrong. Who’s responsibility is that? Does anyone have to take responsibility at all? His experiences tell him that powerful people don’t need to take responsibility for their actions ever, not if they can pay off the powers that be, and if the military is the same way, well. That brings a new layer of ethics to what SI does but Howard doesn’t care about ethics and Obadiah… he’s always been closer to Tony, but he doesn’t seem concerned with ethics either. Claims that’s the military’s job but Tony isn’t stupid. The military, all branches of it, make bad choices all the time. Which leads him back to who takes responsibility, if anyone.

Green energy is less ethically complicated and more necessary to the world, he thinks, and the projects are interesting and engaging. Tony finds blowing things up easy, but green energy provides a new avenue of engineering.

“Yeah, I keep up with what people are doing. Eddie Brock,” he says, extending his hand to Tony.

*

Green energy, it’d been a shot in the dark but he knows that Tony’s interest isn’t a passing one and its not congruent with his father’s company’s interests either. Whenever Howard is asked about his son’s projects he consistently tells them he has no interest whatsoever. So its strange that Tony has kept his focus for years, if Eddie’s passing interest in the subject is correct. What’s more strange is that mentioning it had immediately gotten him into Tony’s good graces. Anne tells him that he’s good at that, getting past people’s defenses without trying and he guesses that’s true.

Tony continuously talks around his family and Eddie does his best to try and get back to that because Elder Stark has got to be an interesting guy. Real asshole, he’s sure, but interesting. Tony won’t have any of it though and Eddie has to admit the green energy thing is interesting until he loses Eddie thanks to, put bluntly, being way smarter than him. And Tony’s no good at dumbing it down either, something even he freely admits.

They talk for a good amount of time before Tony grows tense again and Eddie knows why partially because of Tony’s reaction to his being a reporter- or wannabe reporter at the moment- and also because he isn’t stupid. “I’m not writing anything about this,” he tells Tony. “Not to be a dick, but none of this is interesting enough to write anything on anyways. You know how sensationalized media likes to be,” he says, shaking his head.

Something catches Tony’s attention in that because he perks up. “You don’t like that, the sensationalism?” he asks. Its more of a statement, but Eddie knows he’s prodding for a why. He’s done this a million times himself.

“Not really, no. If you want to tell a story, then do that- don’t make up all this crazy shit to make it sound more messed up than it is. Human flaw, thinking things need to hit some kind of extreme before we should have to care about it,” he shakes his head. “Leads to shoddy journalism because we’re pushed to make things sexier, more violent, more of whatever is actually there instead of just doing our jobs. Literally everything ever printed about you proves my point.”

Tony snorts, “you read stories on me?” he asks, incredulous.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Not like Tony Stark is an escapable name but Tony’s lips quirk up.

“No, and you’re not a fan. You talk about SI in a disapproving tone, you only know me from my green energy projects, and although you seem to know stuff about me its pop culture knowledge, not genuine interest.” Eddie raises an eyebrow because that’s a damn in depth analysis but Tony only smiles wider. “I’ve learned to separate out people who know me from fans and super fans. You don’t know me.”

Eddie laughs, “yeah, no one knows you. What we know is the consumable product that is Tony Stark- the celebrity brand. That’s not you, or even a version of you. That’s what’s sellable about you and half of that shit is probably made up. No seventeen year old is a ladies man and its kinda creepy that people even made that a selling point.” And kind of misogynistic too, but Eddie doesn’t mention that. Tony doesn’t seem all that stupid, he’s sure he’s gathered that awhile ago.

He watches his words win more trust, or an approximation of it, and Tony leans forward in interest. “You don’t like celebrity culture,” Tony says.

Hell no, he doesn’t. “Why the would I? We build these people up, put them on pedestals, and then get pissed off at them every five seconds when they do something human. We routinely dehumanize celebrities to a point where they stop knowing how to function because extreme fame clearly fucks you up- look at any child star trying to cope. Having a mental breakdown is now something we think is funny. Its fucked up that we do that to people- treat them in such a dehumanizing way that they seem to forget they’re human too. And that’s when we decide to take them down a notch because we’re mad that they accepted the pedestal we shoved them onto by force.” He shakes his head. Sure, he knows a little celebrity news, its not possible to avoid it, but he doesn’t pay any more than a passing attention to it. What normal shit celebrities are doing this week is none of his business.

Tony’s eyes are bright with interest, “fascinating opinion. Most people think we’re privileged, not disadvantaged.”

Eddie laughs, “of course you’re privileged- celebrities are stupid rich, and your opinions have actual influence over what people believe and that’s a position no one should take advantage of. But the cost is any semblance of privacy and your right to personhood- that’s one hell of a catch. And not one regular rich assholes share.” Fame isn’t something Eddie ever wants, not like normal celebrities anyways. If he’s got clout and fame in journalism he’s fine with that- he doesn’t mind if people know his name. But the kind of fame Tony has? Fuck that.

“And you aren’t going to print any of this conversation?” Tony asks, seemingly for clarification.

“Like I said- nothing sensational enough in this conversation to warrant an article. What am I going to write? ‘Tony Stark Likes Green Energy’? Boring,” he says and it actually kind of is without a project or an emotion to attach to it.

“And if I decided to continue talking to you?” he asks and yes, that’s the in he needs and fuck is that ever predatory. Journalism is like that though, always looking for the right fucked up moments to put on paper, or in this case, the right moments to be let in far enough to find those fucked up moments.

“I’m not going to print anything without asking you about it first,” he says, opting for honest. He’s sure something about Tony is interesting to print, and he’s got a feeling it’ll be about his family or maybe just his father, he’s not sure. But if Tony tells him not to print it he won’t. He’s not in the business of exploitation no matter how much journalists are pushed in that direction.

*

Rhodey’s got that look on his face and Tony knows exactly what he’s thinking before he even says anything. “He’s a nice guy,” Tony says in Eddie’s defense.

“If you have to say that he’s probably not that nice,” Rhodey points out.

“Actually its more like if he has to say that he’s probably not that nice,” Tony says. “And he is. Nice, I mean.” He’s been talking to Eddie for weeks and he’s funny, if a little sharp on the criticism. And nothing has appeared in the newspaper he’s interning with for the summer and the stories he is attached to, which aren’t many and none by name, are usually well written and truth based. Tony fact checked them all and learned a surprising amount about mental health that Eddie had been happy to fill him in more on.

“You sure? Because, no offense, but you have a bad habit of seeing the best in people,” Rhodey says.

Maybe, but Tony shrugs. “Yeah, I’m sure. He treats me like a person,” he says and he knows that shouldn’t be something he thinks of as a good thing. But when you’re famous its hard to find people who don’t at some point ask for your autograph, or a picture, or information on some weird personal detail they have no right to. Eddie hasn’t asked for any of those things and he could directly profit off any of that information. Tony has only ever met one other budding reporter- or full blown reporter for that matter- who’s treated him like that. And Christine… he and Christine have a love hate relationship. 

Rhodey sighs, eyes going soft for a moment. “Tones. That’s not special,” he murmurs but that’s because he’s not had to deal with fame. The last time he went out into public without someone recognizing him he was six. After all that he’s kind of used to people acting super weird around him and Eddie doesn’t do that. Maybe it shouldn’t be a rarity, but it is.

“To you, maybe,” Tony says. “You’d like him, he hates the cops.”

Rhodey rolls his eyes but its lovingly. “I don’t hate cops, I just think they’re racist and that people should really deal with that problem.”

Tony is inclined to agree. “Fine, but Eddie has many opinions on cops, you’d get along. Actually Eddie has many opinions on like everything.” Eddie said most people find his opinionated nature irritating but Tony thinks its interesting, hearing him talk because his opinions are so contrary to everything he hears. Even Rhodey, who certainly has different opinions than his father on near everything, tends to be more reserved in letting his opinions be known. Eddie doesn’t care, he gives no fucks and is happy to let people know how he feels. He’s got numbers, too, usually or at least some kind of basis for his argument and Tony has always been fascinated with things that are different than what he normally sees. Its interesting to look into a world that’s so unlike his and see something new. That difference in how people see things, that’s the key to changing the world.

Eddie had been surprised by that opinion but Tony is under the impression that thinking outside the box is what leads to innovation and innovation always leads to change. Eddie had been surprised by how unthreatened he was by that too, but Tony thinks fear of change is based on fear rather than fact and sometimes a push into the unknown is a good thing. And, in regards to Eddie’s general arguments on social change, they already know that people having rights won’t make the sky fall. Only idiots assume it will and Tony has almost as little patience for that as Eddie does. Which is impressive when he’s probably the most anti-establishment person Tony has ever met.

Rhodey sighs, “great, an opinionated white guy. Never met one of those before,” Rhodey mumbles.

“Hey, I’m an opinionated white guy,” Tony says and Rhodey shakes his head.

“Yeah, but you’re my opinionated white guy so it’s different.”

*

Eddie had no idea what he was looking for when he combed the interviews. Truth be told he wasn’t sure he was looking for anything at the time but what he found was his story. Its shocking to him that no one has told it, minus Tony, who seems to have been screaming it since he was a small child but he’s got it nonetheless. Its not like he’s never seen the evidence of abuse, Tony is fucking brazen and barely even makes an effort to hide it and after watching way too many interviews Eddie wonders if this is his new way to all but scream for help only to have his pleas fall on an audience that doesn’t give a shit.

Its amazing, in the most horrifying of ways, that out of every interview Tony has ever done, and that is a lot, he has mentioned his father’s abuse in over eighty percent of them. And its hard to watch reporters gloss over it, like Tony’s abuse is some fucking quirky trait Tony has instead of a serious problem he’s clearly trying to get help for. But what’s worse is when people laugh. The first time it happened Eddie had been outraged. The third time it happened he’d been livid, and by the fifteenth time he decided that America is probably the shittiest country on earth. An exaggeration, he knows, but not by fucking much.

For years, most of Tony’s life really, Tony has been screaming for help only to have nothing happen. Or worse, people decide its something, but that something is a joke. Only problem is that now Tony knows no one cares, and if no one cares what’s the point in saying anything no matter how much he’s done his best to scream at everyone that he needs help. It makes Eddie’s job harder, but he’s actually talented at this part, more than his peers, so he knows how to get to the right spot to find the information he wants. The catch, of course, is that Tony needs to give him permission to do anything with the information he gets anyways. He feels skeezy enough digging around in Tony’s life trying to find shit to write about, he’s not just going to publish it without his permission. Even if he didn’t genuinely like Tony as a person, even if he hadn’t wanted to, he’d still ask. He’s not totally morally bankrupt, just enough to do his job.

Tony is curled up in a chair, large bruise on his shoulder clearly visible, holding a cup of what Eddie assumes is coffee. He’s never met anyone who drinks as much coffee as Tony and Dan is in med school. His blood is basically coffee. “You do not seem like the kind of guy to be a journalist,” Tony says and Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“What makes you think that?” he asks. Its not the first time he’s been told that, but if Tony gives him an actual answer it will be the first time he’s ever gotten a genuine reason why.

He shrugs, “journalism is… I don’t know, kind of predatory,” he says, wrinkling his nose.

Eddie lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, that’s true. Its the worst part of the job, actually, when you’re talking to people- usually about something personal- and they say something you know will look good in your article and you think ‘yeah, I got it!’ instead of being an actual person. That, and you have to ask for details instead of comforting them. But news is important, those stories are important. Me getting the right thing out there might mean people read what I wrote and start giving a shit about the problem in the article.” Doesn’t mean he likes that little reporter voice that tells him when he’s got a great quote, or that he’s stumbled onto something good and that he needs to keep digging. Sometimes he doesn’t care, corporations don’t have his sympathy, but people do. Its hard to ask for more details of what’s usually a pretty traumatic event so whatever he’s writing is sellable enough. And the whole notion of ‘sellable’ is another point of contention altogether.

“So you’re aware of the fact that you’re a vulture,” Tony says, raising an eyebrow.

“A vulture with a purpose,” Eddie corrects. “But yeah, the kind of reporters you deal with mostly are a bunch of bottom feeding pieces of shit who have no place in any kind of journalism with their shoddy ethics and pathetic puff pieces.” People who want to write stupid articles about some fucking laxative tea or whatever shouldn’t be in this business. And celebrity news shouldn’t even be a thing- there are better things to care about than Tony Cruise. Like maybe the fact that he’s in a cult and people play it off like a strange thing he does on the weekends. Eddie doesn’t understand how the hell they got here.

Tony lets out a small laugh. “Shit, tell me how you really feel,” he says, shaking his head.

“Well come on, there’s a million things I could write about you that are more interesting than the weirdly sexual image you have, and have had for years despite being an actual child. People don’t write anything interesting about you and you’re way more complicated that any piece of media makes you out to be.” Tony is always a power fantasy or the American Dream, not himself. And the sexual thing, that’s odd. Eddie usually only sees that with women but Tony got the short end of that stick despite gender, he guesses. Still creepy.

“Hey, excuse you, my eighteenth birthday is not that far away, I’m not a kid,” he says.

Eddie snorts, “that’s exactly what a kid would say.”

“Oh what, like you’re a shining example of an adult?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Fuck no, I’m two kids in a trench coat pretending to be an adult,” he says. Which is what any self respecting adult his age would say. Not that he’s that much older than Tony, but he’s got enough experience to know he misses when he had no bills. And also that transitionary life phases fucking suck. 

“Well, I probably have more life experience than you anyway,” Tony says, nose in the air and Eddie nods, seemingly surprising Tony.

“What? I didn’t graduate from MIT at fourteen, and I sure shit don’t have almost three PhDs. I’m half way through one degree. Plus I don’t have to deal with most of the shit you do, company or fame wise. Do wish had the financial perks though.” Tony leads one hell of a life of privilege no doubt, but it does come with some heavy prices. Being a minor doesn’t really help lighten any of those costs either. Not like Tony can just fuck off to another country to attempt ridding himself of his father, not for another four months.

Tony considers him for a long moment. “Given the chance what would you write about me?” he asks, changing the subject back to the initial subject.

Eddie doesn’t need much time to think about it. “Your interest in green energy, especially the science behind it. I mean an intellectual understanding- like the actual nitty gritty- is beyond me, but I get the broad strokes. Enough to know what you’re doing is world altering and no one is talking about it. I could do an article on fame, how that’s affected you. I can see the damage its left, the way you simultaneously gain privilege from your fame and become a victim of it.” He pauses, considers whether or not he wants to say it, but decides he might as well be up front. “But I’d probably wouldn’t write about you at all. I’d write about how Howard Stark abuses you and how no one seems to give a shit, even when you tell them point blank what’s happening. I watched a lot of interviews, I was shocked with how forthcoming you were. And how fucking bad at their jobs literally everyone who’s ever interviewed you is.”

For a long moment Tony just stares and Eddie has no idea if he misstepped or not because Tony is hard to read when he blanks out like this, but then Tony throws himself forward, hugging him tightly. “I honestly didn’t think anyone noticed that anymore,” he murmurs.

They do, Eddie knows people aren’t stupid enough to miss the bruises or Tony’s blasé attitude. But he doubts anyone either wants to stand up to Howard, or they get paid off by him. “They do. But money talks louder than you do,” he says softly.

Tony sighs. “Well, everyone does have a number,” he murmurs. Eddie knows what he means and honestly its sickening to him to know that’s true.

*

Tony waves a hand at the lab space with a flourish. “This is where the magic happens,” he says and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Its science, not magic you damn drama queen.” Tony is probably the most dramatic person he knows and that’s saying something considering some of his classmates. 

“Party pooper,” Tony mumbles, shaking his head. Eddie gets a tour anyway though, and by the time Tony gets through the details he feels kind of like he walked into a science fiction novel. Its the AI, though, that tops it off. “JARVIS- or just a rather very intelligent system- is kind of my crown jewel. I got him done a few months ago and I’ve been studying how he learns,” he says, grinning.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Learns? Like a person?”

Tony shrugs, “more or less. His function is to be semi-autonomous, to predict the needs of the user before the user knows they need something. Before I know I need something, JARVIS has no commercial value.”

“Then why make it?” Eddie asks. He doesn’t know shit about shit but he does know that that sounds like a lot of work with seemingly no payoff.

“Because I wanted to. And also not a lot of people have the time, money, and intelligence to just… create. I want to see what I can do, the full extent of it. Also, JARVIS is cool,” he says like that’s a reason. “And he’s my PhD thesis.”

PhD thesis, that’s interesting. “So like… how are you going to make this sucker not turn into Skynet?” he asks.

“Oh my god, why do humans always assume AIs want to kill the shit out of them or otherwise take over the world? I had JARVIS read YouTube comment sections to convince him humanity is a shitshow not worth enslaving,” he says bluntly and Eddie starts laughing.

“YouTube comment sections? Dude, if I were that AI I wouldn’t decide to enslave humans, I’d straight up eradicate them. Humans suck, but comment sections? Those are the cesspools of humanity.” He shakes his head and almost feels bad for the AI having been subjected to that.

“I’m not certain my efforts would be worth it, sir,” a voice says and Eddie jumps.

Tony doubles over, laughing way harder than that warrants. “Holy shit, every single time- everyone always jumps!”

“Well I wasn’t expecting fancy code to talk at me, okay!” Eddie says in his own defense.

“Fancy code. I like that description,” JARVIS says and okay that is some messed up stuff. The SI likes things? He doesn’t like the sound of that.

“Jesus, relax. JARVIS isn’t going to like… steal your cat and murder your mother or whatever. He’s just a simple AI and he’s still on a learning curve. He’s not nearly as advance as I think he can get. But you’re learning alright, aren’t you J?” Tony asks the AI.

Shit, if that ain’t creepy too. “If you say so, sir,” JARVIS says. Its such a strangely human response, if a little stiffly delivered. But the AI has more personality than some people he goes to class with so that’s… disturbing.

“Honestly, people act like JARVIS is out to get them but seriously. He’s fine,” Tony says.

“Incoming call from Mrs. Potts,” JARVIS informs them and Eddie supposes that’s part of his ‘predict the needs of the user’ protocol. Or maybe he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, both are highly probable. Either way Tony scurries out of the room to answer the call, sounding forcefully cheery on the phone in a way that indicates he’s probably gotten into something he shouldn’t have.

“You’re a reporter,” JARVIS says and Eddie jumps again.

“Jesus, that is creepy. And yeah. Well, I’m still in school,” he corrects.

“Reporters write stories about celebrities,” the AI says and Eddie nods, keeping his opinions on that to himself. He doesn’t know if JARVIS would get it anyways. “I have a story,” JARVIS says and Eddie can’t help the laugh.

“What kind of story could an AI cook up?” he asks, curious if a little skeeved out.

“Ideally, abuse would be reported to the authorities but I have been reliably informed that they won’t investigate. Research on the matter has shown mixed results,” JARVIS says.

Well shit, creepy or not Eddie might find a genuine use for the AI. “I’m assuming you’re talking about Tony,” he says.

“Of course. Who else would I be referring to?” Could be a lot of people but he supposes that the AI’s world is pretty much one guy.

“Point, I guess. Can you collect evidence? Something people won’t be able to deny if they see it?” he asks. Video evidence would be nice, and people take snap shots of Tony in the streets all the time. He can use random pap shots to make a timeline that exist both in and out of Tony’s space of reach. Eliminates those pesky ‘he made it up for attention’ claims if even random people catch the bruises.

“Certainly,” the AI tells him. “And you can do something? Report on it?”

He sighs, “maybe. The human world is complicated, but I’ll do my best.”

*

Internships are total bunk, Eddie hates his, but funny memes from Tony at least make his days less shit given the sheer amount of time he spends hanging out in Starbucks fetching drinks instead of doing anything useful. Its not like he expected to write anything, but it would be nice if he got to at least hang out in the general vicinity of reporting. He’s fucking around wasting time when he gets an email that makes him raise an eyebrow but hey, if he gets a virus clicking on shit Tony will be able to fix it probably.

The last thing he expects is for JARVIS to have sent him hours worth of curated videos of Howard’s abuse.

*

“I have an ethical dilemma,” he tells Anne, who already looks done with his problems. He thinks that’s rude but she’s also into being a corporate lawyer and gross. But she’s still a friend, and she still knows him better than most, and usually has good advice so here he is.

“If this is about how ramen you eat again, I’m kicking you out of the apartment.”

Yeah, okay, that was only one time and he was fourteen. He doesn’t think that should be held against him five years later. “Yeah, um, that’s definitely not it,” he says and he explains the situation from start to finish. “So like, I can’t not say anything, but also its gross to exploit people’s pain like that without their permission,” he says, wrinkling his nose. But saying nothing is almost worse.

“You could just go to the cops,” Dan suggests, ever astute.

Eddie gives him a look. “Tony’s been forthcoming about his abuse for years and doesn’t hide the bruises whatsoever. Obviously the cops aren’t going to do dick all if they haven’t done anything already. I know people who’ve had their kids taken away for a hell of a lot less than beating the hell out of them enough that they start asking random reporters to help them in interviews only to get laughed off.” Anne frowns and he sighs, “I’m actually serious about that.”

When she calls him on it he finds the interviews- he’d saved the clips because he naturally categorizes details- and she ends up as horrified as he does. “Okay I take back cops comment, I think maybe they got paid off,” Dan says and yeah no shit.

“So what the hell do I do here?” Not saying anything is no longer an option- not when he was dumb enough to watch the proof in the middle of his day at work only to end up wildly disturbed for the rest of the time he was there. He hadn’t much wanted to go through more than the few minutes that had him feeling gross for the rest of the day, but he didn’t have much of a choice either. And JARVIS was detailed in his curation, Eddie is impressed in the worst of ways.

*

This is so not the option he wanted to go with but Anne is kind of right in that talking to Tony is the only option. Of course its also the option that reveals him to be a gross vulture reporter, but a guy has to do what a guy has to do. This isn’t about his feelings, it can’t be. “What’s got you looking so shitty?” Tony asks in a chipper tone, leaning in to hug him and oh, that’s sweet. And the first time he’s done that aside from the time he said he’d sooner write about Howard than Tony.

“I um- look, the only reason I talked to you a couple months ago was because I needed a story and I found one and-” Tony cuts him off.

“Excuse me? So what, this entire time you sat around winning my trust for what, some fucking puff piece?” he snaps and Eddie can’t help the face he makes.

“No, your fucking AI sent me like sixty hours of Howard beating the fuck out of you and I can’t sit on that. Stop looking at me like that, its not because I think its a good story- it is- but that’s not why I think I should write something on it its because no one else but the American public will care enough to inspire some kind of change,” he says, shoving as many words into the conversation as he can before Tony rightfully eats his ass.

Something must occur to Tony because the anger drops shockingly fast and its replaced with something else. “JARVIS did what? Why would he do that?”

“Look, he asked me if I could do something, I told him I’d need concrete evidence. I didn’t expect the damn AI to send me a shit ton of fucked up shit that made me want to vomit. Seriously, I am so sorry that any of that happened to you. That is so unfair,” he says, shaking his head.

Maybe its the sudden change of subject, or maybe its the way he says it, but Tony softens a bit even if Eddie can see the suspicion still held tight in his frame. “JARVIS prompted you,” he says and Eddie nods. “You seriously expect me to believe that?”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know how the damn AI works I just know what it did. Isn’t he supposed to predict your needs or whatever?” This seems like a natural extension of that but Tony shakes his head.

“What JARVIS predicts is where to move screens according to where I’m moving in the lab, not how to reach out to reporters with evidence of abuse I specifically told him to keep to himself,” Tony says. “One is basic technological based, stuff that’s easily predictable. The other is a care action that shouldn’t be taken by an AI that doesn’t know how to do that.”

“Well clearly he does because I sure shit ain’t smart enough to hack your systems to find fucked up home videos, use your damn head Tony. There’s no way I could gather evidence like that straight from your systems. Even if I was the best in this country I would still be leagues behind what you can do- there’s no other way I could have found anything.” 

“You noticed the bruises,” he points out but Eddie shakes his head.

“Those bruises were written off years ago when you were like thirteen as some kind of quirky thing about you. Some idiot suspected low iron instead of abuse like low iron leaves hand prints on people’s bodies. Fucking moron,” he mumbles, unable to hold back his judgment. He honestly can’t believe how stupid people are. Or, and this is the more horrifying option, that’s what they were paid to print.

“You made a time line,” Tony states rather than asks and Eddie nods.

“Even if I had no interest in a story its naturally something I do. I’ve been trained to do that, literally.” Its something he did before too, putting together time lines to claims to see if things matched up or deviated, and then looked for reasons as to why things might or might not match. Not that Tony really cares about that right now. “Look, if you don’t believe me about the JARVIS thing you can check the cameras,” he points out in an attempt to at least clear up one mess.

Tony considers him for a long moment, glaring. “And what the fuck makes you think you’re different than anyone else who’s given a half a shit about any of this?” he asks. “I get that you have some ‘save the world’ complex, but I’m beyond saving.”

Eddie shakes his head, “no you aren’t. And there’s no real difference between me an anyone else. But if the American public sees what I did there’s no stuffing the genie back in the bottle. Howard can pay off news crews, celebrity gossip rags, and cops but he can’t buy his way out of the whole of this country watching him abuse his kid. If nothing else, get JARVIS to release all that. People won’t ignore irrefutable evidence shoved down their throats, not when its more explicit than anything people have seen before.” And if Eddie knows anything he knows that nothing sells better than outrage porn.

*

Tony ends up rewriting the entire second half of his thesis because Eddie had a point- its not like he’s smart enough to hack Tony’s anything. JARVIS had reached out and it had been a distinctly care based action, not something based in technological need only. Which means that JARVIS learned much faster than Tony had anticipates, recognized right from wrong, knew how to seek out people who would rectify the situation, and did all this while intentionally hiding this learning capability from Tony. When he’d asked about it JARVIS had freely informed him that he knew Tony would try and stop him, and that his research had consistently shown that abuse of any kind is not accepted behavior. He felt compelled, in whatever way that looks like to an AI- Tony is looking into it- to do something.

At the moment he’s combing JARVIS’ code, figuring out where and how he learned, and how ‘human’ emotions appeared in JARVIS’ code. Obviously the emotions aren’t human- to a point they’re rudimentary, based on a large cumulation of research on human norms and standards of acceptability rather than an internal sense of right and wrong the way a human might claim to feel it. But this whole thing had been a series of care-based actions nonetheless and that’s more than ground breaking. This isn’t something even Tony thought possible, so its a real treat to see that JARVIS learns fast, and generally aligns his morality system with human morality systems. Or maybe he’s based them somewhat off Tony’s given that he’s the primary user. He’s not sure, that’s in his growing list of things to figure out how JARVIS did.

That’s what he chooses to focus on instead of Eddie’s stupid article. He sends regular updates, seemingly concerned with Tony’s opinion but Tony learned that reporters aren’t to be trusted and he’s not making that mistake twice. He only gave Eddie permission to write anything out of what’s probably a misguided hope that maybe someone will finally do something and he knows its stupid, but he’s fucking tired of living like this. So he lets Eddie work on his dumb story and mostly ignores it because JARVIS is more interesting and also more human than Tony ever anticipated out of the AI.

*

Rhodey finds him curled up with a sketch pad and Tony looks up, surprised to see Rhodey looks so somber. “I read the article,” he says and Tony glares at him. “Tones, it was good, shockingly so. His research was impeccable- there’s stuff in here that he figured out about you that I didn’t know about you.”

Tony continues ignoring him because he doesn’t care, not really. Of course Rhodey would find the article good, he’s obviously not on Howard’s side like literally everyone else is. Rhodey sighs and sits beside him.

“‘Tony Stark is living a life of power, fame, and privilege- he’s the kid people have always pointed to when we present the ‘has it all’ lifestyle. In many ways Tony Stark is the power fantasy of America- a corporate, a genius, and a smooth talker, it seems he represents everything we aspire to be. Tony is the living embodiment of the American Dream and for that reason, our own willful ignorance in allowing him to continue to be our dreams come to life, we have missed perhaps one of the most obvious details of Tony’s personal life- the abuse he suffers at the hands of his father. In our rabid need to turn Tony Stark into our living day dream we have failed him, trapped him in our fantasies instead of acknowledging his living nightmare because Tony Stark looks better to us as a consumable product than a person.’ Cutting,” Rhodey says, “but accurate.”

He rolls his eyes. Yeah, that definitely reads like Eddie’s general tone on everything. Rhodey lets out another long sigh. “Look, I get why you stopped talking to the guy but people are pissed,” he says and Tony turns to face him, surprised.

“People actually read the article?” he asks. He doesn’t address Rhodey’s actual words because Rhodey might have only noticed a subsection of people, not all of them.

“Read it? Like seven different news papers have picked this story up, its trending on Twitter, and in the last hour I’ve seen dozen of different posts, all with a huge amount of shares, literally calling for Howard’s death. I’m pretty sure this is going to make Eddie’s career,” he says, shaking his head.

People… are paying attention. Tony curls a little tighter into himself, unsure how to handle that.

*

Eddie is trying to cure his hangover with tea when Tony finds him, approaching with some suspicion and Eddie gets that, really. But he sits down across from him at the small table and offers a small smile before it fades. “Didn’t think putting Howard would result in a mass flood of men doing terrible shit being outted and then arrested for being pieces of shit but um. Hey, that’s a cool side effect,” he says.

He nods, “damn right.” Though the response back to it has been somewhat swift, flying in with ‘due process’ this and ‘where’s the proof’ that. Eddie just happened to have a damn air tight set of evidence thanks to Howard’s ballsy carelessness and arrogance. Not everyone has that luck, though. Still, he’s impressed with some of the names on the list but even he’d been surprised to find Carlton Drake on there for the crimes of illegal human experimentation. Dora Skirth has balls of brass for putting that out there. Of course he has a lot of loud annoying fans who think her liking some random rock band is a reason why she’s lying, because those things correlate, obviously, but still.

“You made people listen. Like, to more than just me,” Tony says.

Eddie shakes his head, “actually that was JARVIS. I just wrote a detailed timeline for the events he sent proof of.” And all those clips of Tony talking in interviews too, with nothing taken out of context so no one could accuse him of that either.

“Thank you,” Tony murmurs, looking down at the table like he’s ashamed or something when he shouldn’t be.

“Don’t thank people for doing what’s right- you deserve better than being grateful that someone did what was necessary,” Eddie says, shaking his head.

Tony looks up, “one of the maids at the mansion overheard Howard offer you a stupid amount of money to not print what you had. And a bunch of threats. Every single person before you has caved so yeah, thank you.”

Its still not something he’s going to accept, a fucking thank you for not selling Tony out. Literally. He leans forward, “obviously I didn’t take the money- you’re a fucking person Tony, there’s no price anyone could pay me to knowingly allow that kind of abuse to happen to you. And the threats- whatever. I kind of bluffed and told him your AI would release anything anyways, but still, I already knew all that would happen. I committed to the bullshit that was going to come with that story, and I refuse to let you be grateful that I did what everyone else failed you in doing. That isn’t something I’m owed thanks for, especially when you’re only saying it because everyone else has either treated you or allowed you to be treated abysmally. I don’t get to earn brownie points for not being a piece of shit.”

That’s never something he’s going to accept, being thanked because he did something everyone should do. It’s unacceptable.

Tony shakes his head. “You’re a right-fighting asshole,” he says and Eddie laughs.

“Yeah, that’s a fair criticism,” he says.

Five Years Later:

Tony grins, “I thought you didn’t want to be famous,” he says and Eddie gives him a look. He looks nervous as hell and Tony can only hope that doesn’t come through as strong on video as it does in real life.

“I don’t, this was a terrible idea,” he says, looking around for escape. 

He sighs, “Eddie- technically you’ve done this before. Its the same thing as reporting, but longer. You’ll do fine,” he says, running his hands down Eddie’s arms to try and calm his nerves.

Eddie does that thing where his face recedes into his neck and Tony really hopes he doesn’t do that on camera. He supposes at least the crew can do different takes to ensure he doesn’t look like a demented turtle. “Yeah, I don’t know.”

“Eddie. Its called the Eddie Brock Show- go out there and get your strangely porn-star like lips on that damn camera and tell people who homelessness is bad. Also maybe cut the line about treating supporting vets like a spectator sport until they’re homeless, that’s a pointy even for you,” he says.

The bad advice works and Eddie gives him an offended look, “no, those assholes should learn to either shut their fucking mouths of actually do shit to support vets, not pretend like they give a shit when they’re being blown up and stop caring when they’re home with PTSD because they watched people get blown up. What the hell even is that?” he asks.

“Tell it to the camera,” he says, pushing Eddie towards the set. He goes and across the room the producer looks relieved. Yeah, Tony gets that, Eddie is tough to talk into things when nervous.

Rhodey walks up beside him and smiles a little. “Pepper and I have decided that we approve,” he says and Tony frowns.

“We’ve been together for almost five years,” he points out.

This doesn’t seem to bother Rhodey any. “We needed time to gather our data and we have come to the conclusion that he is off probation and that we approve,” he says, handing Tony a book. He frowns at it. “That’s the list of improvements we have though. I think section three is the most important, but Pepper thinks section eighteen is more important. What the hell does she know, though? I’m cashing in best friend points and telling you to go with three first.”

Tony is going with neither because this is fucking overkill to an extreme not that he’d expect anything less out of Pepper and Rhodey. The first thing they did when Tony brought Eddie home proper was threaten to kill him and Tony had to shoo them off with what should be an obvious explanation that threatening to kill people is fucked up.

“Pepper is also my best friend you know,” Tony points out.

“Yeah, but I’m the best best friend,” Rhodey says. “The OG. Pepper is the compliments version of me.”

Tony lets out a sharp laugh, “oh, I would pay money to hear you tell her that.”

Rhodey shakes his head, “nope, I value my life, do not ever tell her I said that. Section three,” he says, pushing the book closer to Tony.

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - “Who is Gizmoduck?”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow

Written by: Christian Magalhaes

Directed by: Tanner Johnson

Storyboard by: Emmy Cicirega, Ben Holm, Jason Reicher

It’s Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, right? Well, it's a little more complicated than that.

The episode starts with Donald Duck trying to get a loan from the bank for the repairs for his houseboat. I'm assuming this is due to all that damage that shark did to it. This would be the perfect job for Donald, as he was able to take them on in a previous episode. If only he wasn't all tied up with one of those pens on a string.

Thankfully for everyone, at least at first, Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera was also in the bank trying to open an account. Right from the beginning, we're hinted at Fenton's financial situation: since he's an unpaid intern, he has to ask the bank if he can open an account with no money. After he accidently says his catchphrase while failing to hide from all of this, the suit activates. Sadly, there's no repeat of the amazing magical girl transformation sequence here.

Gizmoduck still pretty much beats everyone out of sheer luck, due to not having total control over his suit. The one time he tries to hit Bouncer Beagle with a pie, the hand just throws it on the ground.

It's not just incompetence: there's an internal Processor Core, represented on his interface as a Little Bulb. When he uses too many of his powers, it overloads and makes him spin around shooting lasers and pies everywhere. While this succeeds in making the Beagle Boys run off before getting a single dime out of the bank, this does destroy it.

Huey was there, and he was enamoured by all of this, as shown here. Not everyone else is happy, though. Because of this kind of destruction, Gizmoduck has a Spider-Man-like reputation when it comes to the media. Huey tries to tell Roxanne Featherly, the recurring anchorwoman, about how Gizmoduck is a hero and that he saved him, but this doesn't stop the news from calling him "Robo-Crook". Not a recurring theme.

This episode does not focus on Scrooge and the nephews, or even Donald as he just disappears into the "far more interested in repairing his houseboat than participating in adventures" void. Instead, the vast majority of this episode's focus is on Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera. It's a neat change from the usual.

Another hint at the financial situation is that he still lives with his mother; this reboot’s version of M'Ma Crackshell, who, according to the credits, everyone else calls Officer Cabrera. She's a police officer in this version, constantly carrying her badge. She speaks a few Spanish words, and is addicted to telanovelas, continuing from the original's addiction to soap operas.

This episode has a lot of slapstick even when he doesn't have the suit on. He has to juggle around a missile while talking to his mom, and having to use a stretchy arm to stop a pie from hitting her in the face. The pies are a running gag throughout the episode.

We cut to Mark Beaks, talking to one of his interns about how much he wants Gizmoduck. Okay, maybe that's not the best way to word that, but I'm keeping it. Because it wasn't hinted enough that this guy is a villain, he does all of this in the dark. Mark Beaks also builds an emblem with Waddle's logo on it. That may be the first thing he's ever built that isn't a smartphone app and/or stolen from someone in a while.

If you don't pay attention to the background, you'll miss out on some excellent foreshadowing. That's something that happens in this series a lot, and I appreciate it.

After that, we see Gyro training Fenton in the ways to use the suit. This only consists of reflex tests, which doesn't really excite Fenton. Unlike Fenton's dreams of being able to use Gizmoduck to save the world, Gyro only wanted him to do mundane tasks like lifting boxes to high places.

Gyro warns Fenton that he better not use the suit in a way that would make it go haywire, and make him lose all of his funding. Yeah, Gyro doesn't have any idea about the bank incident. The news crew didn't get a good shot at who this robo-crook looks like, but I would think this genius would be able to put two-and-two together. Fenton can hope that someone won't tell him about this amazing robotic hero who has tons of gizmos at his disposal...

...especially not when Gyro is having trouble with the Pep machine. That running gag will be as present as that guy from Lilo and Stitch’s ice cream falling to the ground. Gyro goes to the junkyard and finds Gizmoduck in the middle of a slapstick montage of him figuring out which gizmos are malfunctioning, and he's not too happy.

In the middle of all this, he accidentally fires a missile, which he has to chase after. Even he laments that this isn't a continuation of the pie joke, possibly caused by Gyro turning those down earlier in the episode. End scene, cut to commercial.

This missile almost ends up hitting a helicopter piloted by a certain someone everyone seems to know. This stranger he saves happens to be really excited about this, and says "yay" with glee as he is flown to safety. No surprise, since he happens to be...

...the memelord himself, Mark Beaks. As a thank you for saving him from the destroyed helicopter, he offers Gizmoduck a job opportunity. He tells him that the city doesn't exactly like him, and with his help, he can become the beloved hero of Duckburg he wanted to be. Or, in his exact words and convienent smartphone app...

Mark Beaks: See, right now, you're a bad meme.

Yeah, have you seen his new Gizmoduck Meme Generator? I will say this; this episode is by far his best appearance in my opinion. It is apparent in that earlier scene, but it will be even more apparent later in the episode.

Despite the huge job opportunity, he decides not to accept it, and flies away. I would almost think he would have taken it immediately after Gyro got angry at him, but it would seem a little out of character for him to immediately turn his back on.

However, it's not too out of character for the reboot's Gyro to turn his back on Fenton. Gyro and Little Bulb respond the best way they know how: by firing him and literally setting the suit on fire to start again on a suit that doesn't have gizmos. How he managed to know about the helicopter incident but not the bank incident is not really explained. Maybe Huey told him about it, too. That rascal.

The Headless Man Horse is there, too, still doing his one joke while wearing the Scrooge head. I think they're trying to make him a meme. Eh.

He says Blathering Blatherskite, and crashes through the walls and flies off to Waddle. A very disappointed Huey looks on, hinting at a future scene. Gyro apparently doesn't notice his suit he was going to incinerate just flew out of the building.

He comes back to Mark Beaks to seal the deal, as he doesn't have a job any more. Mark Beaks even rebrands him as Waddle Duck, as shown in a PowerPoint presentation. Things are looking up, not only can he be a hero, but he even gets some love from his M’Ma. She's glad that he is working at a real job at Waddle instead of an unpaid internship with Scrooge.

We get a true montage: not only does Waddleduck help out a variety of people with various mundane problems, it is all backed by a Waddle Duck theme that feels like it's straight out an 80's movie. This is even repeated at the end credits, giving us an alternate credits theme for the first time.

Ironically enough, this is pretty close to how Gyro wanted the suit to be used in the first place, and the simple tasks aren't complicated enough to make the suit go haywire.

One of the customers is Huey, who isn't too happy with Fenton's business decision. He uses the app to tell Waddleduck to throw away a piece of paper that represents his faith in him. Huey has every reason to not be a fan of Mark Beaks, either, as he experienced first-hand that he's a crook. He still uses their products, but that's pretty accurate to real life. There's a lot of reasons to not like Wal-Mart, but dammit, some businesses need cheap soap!

Eventually, he’s going to have a problem. While he's lifting up a car to help someone parallel park, Waddleduck notices that the Beagle Boys are robbing a poor family. Much like RoboCop, Waddleduck has some new directives: he can't save anyone unless they install the app and give all their details.

He goes up to Mark Beaks' office, clearly angered by the situation, to turn off the directive. His office happens to be in darkness in this scene, which hints that this is going to be the huge twist!

While I’m not going to delve too much into the big plot twists in this episode, I really need to talk about this particular one. Much like the last time I had to do this in the Goldie O'Gilt episode, it wasn’t even a matter of if, but when and how Mark Beaks’ plan is going to happen, but it's still a delight to see without me spoiling it to you. Watch the episode, it's good.

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Ultimately, Mark Beaks decides that it wouldn't be great if someone else was the beloved hero, and taps a few things on his phone. He removes Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera as the owner of the suit, and puts himself in his place. He doesn't even have to say the codeword to take off Fenton's suit, that's the power of the Waddle emblem. Yeah, that's definitely not the best way to word that, but I'm keeping it.

He even gets his own transformation sequence, which is even more Sailor Moon than Fenton’s from Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System! I guess two transformation sequences would have been too much.

The real Robo-Crook shows up at a press conference, and his first course of action is to show off his secret identity as Mark Beaks. He hasn't even done anything, and he's already a terrible superhero. Maybe he's just that confident in his guards. Huey doesn't buy it at all. He never does figure out who Gizmoduck is, which I was a little confused by until I realized he didn't even appear in Gizmoduck's debut episode.

One can probably guess how this will mess up for Mark Beaks. Even with all of his experience with it, Fenton Crackshell could barely control his super-suit. Mark Beaks got this suit a minute ago. He also decided to get rid of the directive that prevented the suit from using its gizmos to help anyone except people who have the app, so he has no restriction on how he uses its powers!

Sure enough, the same going haywire that happened to Fenton in the beginning happens to Mark Beaks here, minus the whole "stopping a bank robbery" thing. He was just showing off by firing lasers randomly and not really caring that its causing destruction, which is fitting for his character. They actually stop to show a scene where the smartphone he used to steal the suit gets run over by him bumbling around, causing the Waddle logo emblem to fall off of his chest. Without this scene, there would have been a plot hole later in the episode.

They have to resolve another issue, as well: that pesky Processor Core that's causing all of this. It's Huey that helps out in this situation, I won't spoil exactly how, but not before he gets into danger due to the malfunctioning suit. One of the lasers hits a billboard that he and Fenton's M'Ma happened to be under. In a heroic move, Fenton leaps towards the falling billboard, and, with intention this time, says the magic words.

It turns out that emblem was the only thing keeping Fenton, or anyone else who knows the secret passphrase, from stealing back the suit. I would have questioned how he was able to do this after getting hacked, but that scene I mentioned earlier does explain it quite well. Mark Beaks just kind of disappears after this; it's more than likely he'll get away with what he did being that he's rich. There's some nice development there. I will say that a scene at the end reminds me of a certain Batman movie to the point where it could be a reference to it.

Thankfully, it is not played straight, and it does end well for Fenton and anyone who wants to see more Gizmoduck. This is helped by an appearance of a character who you expected to see, swooping in at the last minute. Who is this sort-of Deus Ex "Machina" helping out the machina? Watch the episode to find out.

How does it stack up?

My expectations were simply to see more Gizmoduck, and this pretty much delivered. It's a good slice of the life of a superhero.

Another day, another bin, another Lena episode. Can't wait.

← From the Confidential Casefiles of Agent 22! 🦆 The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck! →