#but yeah idk sometimes i realise how sad that sounds

[noobsoconfusing]

going ham on zaza _ stoner!hamzah

- cant roll for shit so he likes bowls better, sometimes he buys pre rolled stuff too..

- probably the type to try and be a show off whenever he smokes with martin and ATTEMPTS to hold it for more than needed.. ends badly..

- loves getting high so much that martin starts to worry a bit about how often hamzah smokes now

- would constantly get zooted for videos, feeling like his true personality shows whenever he’s high. he feels funnier and more laid back, like he’s got absolutely no worries in the world

- he gets so floaty, so lightweight, loves how empty his mind feels, how careless he gets.

- hamzah gets only so giggly and maleable. his big eyes ever so red, teary and glossy, half lidded and somehow heavy.

- very, VERY into recording himself while on his smoke sessions. though he keeps the videos to himself, and later he watches them to laugh about whatever bullshit he had yapped about

- munchies go fucking wild. he would order doordash and fuck that shit up in a minute. if he’s too cooked to order, he’d prepare the most insane stuff he wouldn’t eat sober, but of course, he’d devour high.

- now, for real, he gets so oddly physical with himself whenever he’s high..

- wishes he had someone to relieve himself while high and also sober though, makes him sad :(

- he’s a lonely guy, lonely person in general. has only a few friends here and there, most on the internet that he hasn’t even met in person.

- goes absolutely ham on himself, stroking like there’s no tomorrow because somehow when he’s high he feels everything way too much , and the same time not enough

- very fucking sensitive, though

- whiny and loud as fuck. short whimpers and long groans, the wet quick sounds of his hand sliding up and down his dick fill the room and he feels so dreamy

“f-fuck fuck fuck f-fuck…” he shivers and whimpers out with his head thrown onto the pillows.

- actually tries to last a bit, but cums so fast always it’s super embarrassing for him. pathetic indeed

“please please please p-please… oh-oh my god..oh fuck! gonna cum, gonna cum… c-can…i..uh…” cries out loud. it’s a pretty sight.

hamzah then feels undeniably stupid realising he begs and pleas to basically no one

- he eventually cums on the sheets and on his hand, breathing heavy and shaking a bit. it’s always so intense, even when he’s not under the influence..

- post nut clarity hits hard

- he would stare into the void of his dark room with his wide bug-like eyes, giggling at the relief and wiping the sticky fluid on his shirt (he’s gross yeah..)

- in general stoner!hamzah gets touchy, very touchy and rather horny. he’s also very lightheaded per usual, prefers doing it alone since he knows for a fact he’ll end up going ham on his meat.

>_<

first post i guess uhhh okay idk if anybody will read dis

[luveline]

also didn’t realise that amanda was their little baby but here’s an idea if ur up for it. amanda inherits like spencer’s smartness i guess and so when she starts spewing facts about the random-est stuff spencer’s overjoyed and then bombshells just staring at them with adoration in her eyes?? idk something really fluffy

“Shoes?” Amanda asks. 

“Yeah, babe.” 

“No thanks.” 

You hold Amanda’s socked feet in your hands. “You need shoes to keep your feet warm.” 

“I’ll have socks.” 

You look past her tiny face to her father for some assistance. Spencer scratches his neck, looking absolutely exhausted, though he’s dressed sharply. You’d spent a few minutes finger curling his hair this morning before it dried, and he’s brushed them out gently, giving him a windblown look. You pretend to take a photo of him. He rolls his eyes. 

“Amy,” he says lovingly, baby-voice in play as he leans over the back of the couch, “you know why you have to wear shoes?” 

“Why?” 

“Because growing up, your feet are very small, and very fragile. They need time to grow in proper structures, and they can’t do that if you don’t wear shoes when you’re walking a lot.” He gives her shoulder a rub. “Don’t you wanna match me and mommy?” 

“You wear shoes… different. Mom has heels,” she insists. 

“What if I wear flats?” you ask, eager to leave the house before afternoon. 

She shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest with a Spencer style pout. 

Spencer sits down next to her with a sigh. You’re both aware of how smart she is for her age, and while it can be interesting, it’s also made some stuff so, so hard. Like explaining shoes. “I’m not want to wear them. It’s good for my skin to breathe.” All her r’s sound soft, like w’s.

You rub your eyes. Spencer sucks in an excited breath. “Yes! Skin can’t really breathe, but it’s good to have it uncovered sometimes to help your circulation and your pores.” 

“‘Xactly,” Amy says. 

“And, you know, shoes that don’t fit right force your feet into narrow positions, which can cause a whole bunch of problems.” 

“No shoes,” Amy says. 

“But…” Spencer backtracks, thumbing under her eyelashes gently. “If you don’t wear your shoes, we can’t go out to the store for groceries and we can’t go to the bakery on the way home. Which means you won’t get your sugar donuts, mommy won’t get her slice of cake, and that’s gonna make me so sad.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I love when your mom is happy. It makes me happy when she’s happy. She doesn’t look very happy now, does she?” 

In all honesty, you’re much too pretty to be sitting on the floor, tights to the carpeting and your cute black dress bunching up your thighs. You refuse to close yourself into the ‘mom’ box some may expect of you, dressing as you had before you became a mom, but you’ve allowed Amanda the opportunity to choose your necklace; a gold pendant ring with green and pink sapphires. It’s gorgeous, colourful, and doesn’t even slightly go with your outfit. Spencer reaches for it now, tugging it straight carefully against your neck. 

You frown deeply, pulling your widest, softest doe eyes. “Please, lovely girl, put your shoes on. Or I’m gonna have to be strict, and I hate being strict.” 

“Don’t fw-own, mommy,” she says, listing into Spencer’s side, “you’ll get wrinkles. Worse wrinkles, ‘cos your muscles remember.” 

And again, all her r’s are w’s, her pronunciation lispy and sweet despite her amazing expertise. Spencer laughs and takes her face into two hands, kissing “Wow, smarty pants,” into her crown. “You’re so smart! I can’t believe it!” 

You feel your annoyance softening. Fine, she’s a smarty pants, and you secretly love it so so much. You’ll just have to carry her to the car. Or her genius dad can carry her. Actually, that could be great, Spencer’s never looked so handsome as he does carrying around your little baby, especially now he’s started working out every now and then. 

“Better role your sleeves up, Spence,” you say, standing up off of your knees. “I’m keeping my heels on. Daddy’s gonna carry you, and you’re gonna get wonky feet.” 

“That’s fine,” Spencer says to her in a whisper, “I’ll carry you forever if you want me to, even if you do get all wonky, bubby.”  

Amy preens as she wraps her arms around him and he picks her up. He takes her shoes from your hand without her seeing. 

“Isn’t she amazing?” he mouths, and he means it, his eyes wide with it. 

“She’s gonna protest socks, next, Spencer Reid, and then what are you gonna do?” you ask. You aren’t half as concerned as you’re pretending to be. Amy’s a baby. She’ll learn how important shoes are soon enough. 

“I’m gonna hold her in my coat, like this,” he says, pulling his coat over her legs. 

“Like that,” you say to yourself, grinning. “Okay, you two do what you want. Can we go now? We really need to get some groceries.” 

[hearts4yawnzzn]

Hiii, I'm here to make a request jsjsjs

So a comfort scenario with Taehyun x fem or gn!reader with prompts 2 & 37

Idk any scenario but reader comforting Taehyun when he's burned out or sad about something.

Tysm ❤️❤️❤️

Yess of course!!

I honestly gelt a litte bad while writing this idk why LMAO but I hope it satisfies you!! 🩵🩵

Also this is the first ever x y/n that I have ever written so I apologize if it sounds rushed or all over the place 😭🙏🏻

edit: i was aiming for gn!reader 😭 but i got confused while writing this so apologies 🙏🏻 i will definitely practice writing gn! imagines off tumblr so it will be perfect the next time I post something similar!!

Violets are Blue // Kang Taehyun

Idol: TXT — Kang Taehyun

Prompt(s): 2 & 37

- “Please don’t cry. I can’t stand seeing you cry.”

- “You look like you need a hug.”

Genre: Fluff, comfort, a little bit of crying

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x Fem!Reader

Plot: Taehyun comes back home quietly, giving you short answers as he refuses to look you in the eye, you realised that something was wrong and you immediately approached him to comfort him.

Word count: 0.9K smthn

It was pretty rare to see Taehyun this quiet, ever since he got back from work. He would always greet you with a big smile on his face and immediately starts sharing what happened to him during work.

But today was different, he had walked in with a dull expression on his face, giving you a small greeting as he puts his bag down and takes off his shoes, you were immediately puzzled, following him as he stepped inside the kitchen.

You crossed your arms, eyes watching him with curiosity. “Tae? How was work?” he raises his head a little as he finally hears your voice, sighing deeply, Taehyun opens the fridge and starts looking for a can of soda.

“It was fine, like usual.” you didn't understand him, there was no ‘usual’. He would always tell you a different story every single day, somehow managing to involve Beomgyu in every single one of them.

Silent steps approached him as you bent down and grabbed the soda can that was sitting right in front of him, he turned around, his attention on you but his head hung low.

With your eyebrows furrowed, staring at him with sad eyes as you tried to get a look at his face, but he just wouldn't let you.

“Babe, what happened? Can you look at me please?” your hands slowly moved and reached up to cup his cheeks, tilting his head upwards so you can lock eyes.

But you didn’t expect it, “Tae?” his eyes were red and puffy, and his nose was a little bit red as well. He was crying.

You've been dating Taehyun for about a year now, sure he gets sad and pouty sometimes but you've rarely seen him cry. And when he does you know it's something serious. “You look like you need a hug, baby, yeah?”

Taehyun silently nods and snakes his arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, eyes closed as his breaths slowly start to become uneven.

Without waiting any time you hugged him back just as tightly, softly rubbing his back as you tried to soothe him down. He didn't want to look at you, he felt embarrassed, crying over something that might not even be of great significance.

The feeling of his crying figure held by your own was killing you, it pains you to see him like this, silently crying and gripping onto your (his) shirt.

Your hugs were always a comfort place for him, whether he was happy, sad, or afraid. They made him feel safe.

Feeling your own eyes water, you carefully wiped away your tears as you tried to control your breaths.

Seeing your boyfriend vulnerable and crying makes you cry as well.

He lifts his head, cheeks still damp with salty tears as his eyes lock with yours as if his eyes couldn't get any softer, you instinctively wipe any tears that still threatened to fall.

“Sweetheart...” Taehyun’s deep voice caught your attention, clearing his throat, he proceeds to stare at you with pain-stricken eyes while managing a small smile on his face.

“Please don’t cry... I can’t stand seeing you cry...” you feel the palms of his hands gently rest on your cheeks, his thumbs brushing over your cheekbones.

It was his turn to wipe your tears away, you couldn’t help but give him a small, sad smile. “Why—” small hiccup, “were you crying before you came home?”

The both of you have calmed down now, while you were worried about him, Taehyun was busy getting lost in your eyes, it might sound cheesy to some people but it was true.

“Baby, did you know that you look very cute right now?” you stare at him dumbfounded, he was trying to joke around to lift your mood, and it was working.

Small giggles left your lips, “I was the one who was supposed to make you feel better, ya know.” his smile eventually grew wider, “Come here.” sniffing his nose before pulling you back in for a second hug.

Your arms wrap around his neck, hugging him closely. “Are you gonna tell me which person from the company made my boyfriend cry?” it was his turn to let out a chuckle, slowly shaking his head as he then pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“You don't need to worry about that, trust me everything has been solved.” he softly spoke as he held you, you then nod, snuggling into his chest as he pats your head. “Let's not stay in the kitchen sweetheart, I know we're both tired from standing.”

Both of you slowly detach from each other, Taehyun’s hand found yours as he slowly intertwines your fingers, dragging you to the couch that was placed in the middle of the small apartment. “Movie?”

His suggestion results in a big smile forming on your face as you nod, letting go of his hand as you hurriedly grabbed a blanket from your room.

As you walked back to your boyfriend, you have already found him, the couch spread out into bed mode as he laid down with the TV and Netflix open.

“Let’s not talk about this anymore, I want you to think about anything else, focus on the movie, and enjoy your time with me.” your big, bright smile never left.

With the blanket covering you both, you snuggled into your boyfriend ‘s side as he places an arm around you.

How can he focus on the movie when you're right beside him?

[corrodedcoughin]

hi anna i hope you're doing well <3 i wanted to share a bit about my experience with burn out from your recent post. last year I was attending school and a lot of big moments were happening in my personal life. all of that plus the workload, commute, etc. left me feeling burnt out to the point of severe depression :/ your body is constantly tired and you just feel empty regardless of how your try to surround yourself with good things. could be people or food or music or a show but once you feel utterly wrung out, it's hard to feel much of anything else. i know for me it kind of manifested in unhealthy habits to just kind of quickly get through the day, a shot sleep schedule, and for me to start obsessing over little crap that really wasn't all that important. all my time was being used to work or overthink myself into a panic and it just made me feel completely isolated from family, friends, peers, and i left that term feeling stupid and useless.

the best way i try to go around my burnout is for one, to not push myself through it. yeah it all seems hopeless now but is my problem today gonna be the same in a month? a year? i try to think outside the present moment because sometims you might not even realize you have tunnel vision until you actually get out of the tunnel.

my hobbies are still gonna be there when i want to enjoy them but my body and health are what need to be my first priority. a lot of my hobbies were related to tumblr/ao3 or just being online in general so I decided to quit. for around three months I stayed off my socials and deleted apps like tiktok and instagram and decided to stick to the least attention grabbing apps i like. even then i made an effort to stay off my phone as long as i could. it may sound kinda dumb but lowering screentime actually really does help reduce anxiety and i find i don't miss those apps at all.

and for me my burnout was largely being caused from school and I realized that this wasn't the right path for me at all. so i quit because nothing, no matter how seemingly important, should make me feel so horrible. I mean it's not even sadness or exhaustion it's emptiness. you feel nothing and everything and it aches and you just end up ruining all the good things you have by trying to ignore it and push through.

another thing that helped was finding stuff for me to do in my personal life whether that was getting a new job, cleaning the house, cooking a meal, or finding a new love for movies. I prioritized myself and i feel good. It took me about 6 months but I got there and it's worth it. I don't feel isolated or as exhuasted as before and life feels good again, my hobbies feel good again.

I hope you know you're not alone when it comes to feeling this way and i hope you take care 💌 happy easter or just have a happy april

Hello! I’m going to put a bunch of stuff under a read more but before I do that I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to even notice/read the things i posted and then writing this. I’m so, so glad that you are feeling better now and that you were able to do that for yourself. It sounds like you really figured out what you needed and it worked and knowing that it does work is so reassuring. So just thank you. For being kind to me and to yourself and sharing. I’m so glad you are here and if you ever want to talk be it silly or serious, my dms are always open.

You are so completely right about social media. I’ve had Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat deleted for a couple of years now. Covid pushed me over the edge with them and the relief of not having them there anymore is incredible. I have tiktok but go on it maybe for a week straight then don’t touch it for a few months. Idk it’s not great at holding my interest.

But yeah tumblr has been a bit of a difficulty for me, hence the dropping out for days at a time. Keeping up with things/engaging and needing to do it ‘right’ is so much more mentally straining than you realise until it’s just one more thing to push you over the edge. Even when I wasn’t replying to messages/asks I would be online trying to keep at track of things so I could ‘do my reblogging duty right’ when I eventually did feel good enough mentally to come back and it’s so STUPID. like!!! Nobody cares if I interact with their posts!! Nobody!!! I just internalised and spiralled a bunch of things from other parts of my life into here too!

Work has been really bad for at least six months now and it’s so hard. Then self doubt over looking into Autism and other mental health stuff as well as gender and trying to keep up with the gym and step targets and feeling bad for not being social every single hour of my day like my very extroverted brother has just really pushed me down into a hole. You don’t realise how many things are going on until they smack you over like a wave and then it’s like ‘oh boy, I can’t get up. And I don’t want to because I’ll just be pushed down again’

Eventually I started just taking my car down to the sea and reading a physical book instead of being online. It’s helped. It’s not sorted things but it’s helped.

My hobbies are primarily online too so I have an idea of where you are coming from, won’t say I understand because everyone is different but I get it. The temptation really IS to push through. I actually said to my only coworker ‘I just need to make it to the end of April. Then I can think about getting signed off if I /really/ need to but I won’t. It’ll be fine’ I don’t know why!! The job doesn’t care back!

I won’t bore you with all the details but it’s been Wild and knowing that you got through the other side is genuinely a light at the end of the tunnel. So thank you for sharing your experience. School is so hard, the first time I went I had to leave for mental health reasons or face hospital admission. I mean it when I say I’m so proud of you for making that decision. Truly. I wish you nothing but ease for the next section of your life, you deserve it. I hope you’ve found a new favourite movie or genre or just general joy in the new hobby! Would love to hear more about that or absolutely anything you have to say, your words are very easy to read and hold a lot of happiness in them. Thank you again and good luck with your new job if you have one or the search if you are looking!

[selectivechaos]

Hello! I've been keeping up with your blog for a while now and I really like it :) I'm mute myself (progressive mutism probably) and a lot of the things you post about it are like you've reached into my brain and written down all the thoughts I've had about myself over the years. I've never known anyone like me so I've spent most of my life thinking I'm weird and selfish and rude so it's comforting to know I'm not alone.

The reason I'm braving my social anxiety to send this is because I read your post about not wanting people to point out when you make sounds and you said that it might be specific to you? I totally agree with your post though! When I think back to being stuck in public school, the absolute worst thing was when I would speak (quite rare) and people would be like "omg you can talk :O" rather than actually responding to what I was saying. It made me feel like I was seen as lesser than them or some kind of circus act to gawp at. I would start anxiously policing my own behaviour to make no noise so I wouldn't have to feel like that again. If it happened in a space that I thought was safe, it would immediately become unsafe to me.

P.S. The roses on your posts are super cool so I'm going to sign this with a plant that I like.

-🌵

hey 🌵! yeah same, I’ve become scared to make many sounds, partly because scared people would notice me, and partly because scared that it is too close to speaking (like, mouth-sounds, although not words/speech) and people might expect me to actually be able to speak to them. and when people go “oh you can speak”, I just want to be this absolutely silent being, so no-one will notice me or pay attention. i don't want them to know i can make any sound at all.

my SAD (mixed with some depersonalisation) meant I was scared people would build up a profile of who am, so that they could judge me, or draw attention. so didn’t speak and didn’t show emotion, but then people would say shit like “he never speaks”, so the Quiet One became a label in itself, if that makes sense. the worst is when people provide any commentary on my actions, even though they are perfectly normal actions in the social context. and talk about me in third person.

have been so scared about whether things are audible. went through school never drinking water because swallow-sound. breathing is the worst, am pretty sure I’ve taught myself a new way to breathe so it won’t make a sound, but I have this problem with my ears that makes me sometimes unable to judge how loud I breathe so I just have to stop breathing. it’s like my lungs freeze idk.

used to be unable to eat at school either, not because of sounds, but because arms would freeze up and couldn’t physically lift the food, let alone chew it. and that made me hungry at school A LOT, so stomach rumbles were the worst because so unpredictable and uncontrollable; couldn’t concentrate on anything else, and trying to control what’s happening within your body just doesn’t work.

thing with sounds is that they’re perfectly normal. sometimes I try to listen to those around me, instead of myself, and realise that they’re all breathing audibly, talking carelessly. they don’t try to freeze their behaviour or sounds in order to seem normal or fit in, yet they are accepted just as they are.

am glad you braved your social anxiety :) have some roses🌹🌹🌹🌹

[b4evr]

This is my first time writing anything so please don’t judge me

summary: So basically you feel like your not good enough for an almighty god like Loki, so when reads your thoughts he makes it his mission to prove to you that you are worth more than anything in the world. Loki x FEMALE reader

Sad/loving/caring

MILD SWEARING

Y/n pov-

Loki was out, which was good because it meant that I could get some alone time. I’ve needed that for a long time now. I’ve had a bad feeling for a few days and I don’t know exactly why but I think I have an idea. Let me set the scene for you.

They’re is this beautiful girl. She has long blonde locks that curl at the ends of her wavy her, her eyes are like deep pools of the ocean and her lips are thin and frail. With a tint of warm pink in them. Her name is Emily. She’s a princess, she’s from a planet close to Lokis, and her family and his have been planning an engagement for them. As they are both Gods/Goddess’s. It was only until Loki told his father about us, that he stopped the engagement.

My issue here is that Emily likes Loki, a lot. And he sometimes shows too much interest in her. Like a lot. And it hurts. Seeing him show her that much attention. His eyes practically glow when he see’s her. And it hurts, ya know. They have known each other for years, he’s known me for about 4 years. But that’s not that long.

I am just a mortal. I have no special talents, haven’t got a great body, and I..I just want love. God I can’t even fucking cook. So here’s me. Now sitting on my bed, crying. My nose is wet, and snotty and my eyes are cloudy to look out of. And when I looked in the mirror when I could see, they were bruised and damaged.

If he loves her , can’t he tell me..?

Loki’s pov-

Y/n wanted me to give her some personal time. So I have, but now I’m bored so I’m on my way back. Well, outside.

y/n pov-

SHIT. Is that Loki?? NO NO NO NOOOO. This can’t be, he can’t be back yet. “Fuck, where are the tissues, shit” I whispered to myself, already knowing that I am screwed. As I found the tissues, stumbled to my feet again, and spun around. It was too late. Because standing infront of me was a tall, skinny but masculine man. With jet black hair, that shimmered in the light, green eyes that anyone could get lost in. And those lips. Those li… wait no. No. No. No. he can see me. “y:n? ….a..are you okay?” His voice sounded painful. “did I do something? I assure you if I have please tell me I will fix it right awa….”

“ it’s not you Loki. It’s just. Okay…s..so ba..basically I just wanted to ask…. IF YOU LOVE HER JUST LEAVE ME BECAUSE I KNOW SHE IS BETTET, BUT PLEASE DONT BREAK ME” it came out quickly, and loudly. he looked stunned. Shocked. He had a confused expression painted across his face until he realised what I was talking about. “Oh pet, my dear sweet darling. No no you’ve got it all wrong, me and Emily, no. We are friends. JUST friends I promise you. You know why???” Now I was the one with the confused face. “because… I love YOU. Only you. No one else. You are perfect in every way, and I fell in love with you because you’re not some almighty God like me. You’re calm and caring and you’re not afraid of me.”

I was stunned. In fact too stunned to speak. “Sweet thing, let me show you how much I love you”

Now, a devilish smirk appeared on his face. As he pushed me down on the bed and roared over me. Sliding his shirt off slowly , never , dropping eye contact.

SOOO THATS THE END OF THIS PART. idk if I should do another one. But pls tell me if it’s good or not. Again my spelling it’s kinda bad and it’s my first time. But yeah I might do a part 2 bc tell me if you want one.

[taegularities]

Hey rid! I would love your advice on this one thing... it's super long, so I apologize in advance

I had this guy best friend and I had been best friends with him since 6th grade. I always like him on and off, but never wanted to ruin the friendship. It was clear he liked me too during our senior year of high school, but again we never acted on it.

Flash forward to Halloween of last year, I ran into him while I was drunk. My friend (who was super duper drunk) very loudly said "Okay just give him a goodnight kiss so we could go" Omg Rid I was traumatized!! He was definitely sober and so I knew he would remember!

A couple of days after he had messaged me and basically said he was into me too and wanted to take me out (I was so excited, I felt like my childhood dreams were coming true) We made plans to go our the following week, but he got sick so I asked if he wanted to reschedule. He said yes, but never got back to me. So I had grown the guts to ask him a week after if he still wanted to go to which he was dry and basically stalled it. We haven't spoken since.

I passed him a couple of times on our college campus, but IDK if he was purposefully ignoring me or not because he never smiled like he used to. This morning, I had decided to try to make amends and I messaged him. I basically said "I know things have been weird between us since halloween, but I wanted to clear things up" and "I'm sorry if what happened made you uncomfortable or pushed you away in any way"

It's been over 10 hours and he hasn't even read the message, which honestly breaks my heart. I sent it on snapchat and I'm sure he had slid and read it, but didn't fully read it/respond. I've known him for so long and I'm incredibly sad our friendship was ruined (without a date or anything to formally ruin it) I was really hoping we could at least be on good terms, but honestly I'm so sad that he hasn't responded. He was so sweet and would always respond/be kind to me, so this definitely hit a soft spot in my heart. I genuinely don't know what to do or how to go about it. I feel embarrassed that I sent the message to only receive radio silence. I feel like I made things so much more awkward.

hey love !! oh god, that gives me such high school flashbacks lmao. yeah, i get how you feel, babe, it sounds nerve-wracking and discouraging.

i'm not sure what he feels or what he's thinking, but to me, it feels a bit like he's changed his mind? sometimes we think we're ready for something, but then realise we aren't. so maybe he just doesn't have the energy or courage to date yet; perhaps he really does like you, but can't commit to more. or he's honestly just busy. OR something happened in his private life that he doesn't want to talk about.

i'm so sorry he's been ghosting you – i know you sent this several hours ago, but i hope he's responded by now. if not, you could try asking him if he's alright, and that if he ever needs to talk, you'll be here (or alternatively, take the sassy route and tell him to be clear about what he wants, cos my dude, this is not cool). and if he doesn't respond... i'd suggest to let go for now, bc you don't deserve to be strung along.

and hey !!! also also !!!! in the worst case that he really did change his mind and realised he doesn't feel the same after all, please remember that it doesn't mean you're not good enough. i know we tend to overthink, and then put ourselves down, but you're worth a lot more than that, alright !! hoping for the best, bby <3

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

hello, me again (person watching the last leg) - i've reached series 11 and i'm still really enjoying this show so i've come back with more notes from the past few seasons

-so far my favourite guest has been jessica hynes, due to her calling trump and pence cunts and the story about punching a guy who threw eggs at her. in a similar vein i liked miriam margolyes, who called alex a yob and said they should bleep josh more and then proceeded to say cunt twice in quick succession. -i experienced a brief millisecond long crush on josh when he snapped "well we should give back the elgin marbles cos they're not fucking ours" like yes king rage against the british museum

Part 2:

-one of my problems with this show is their tendency to "both sides" things a little too much, so im worried for when the topic of transgender people starts to pick up. idk how bad it is in canada but in the uk the media is extrememly biased against trans people, including the bbc, so i've got a bad feeling it won't be handled with a lot of grace.

-i think my favourite example of someone still laughing after the segments changed is in s10 ep10, where everyone is still laughing well after alex's misguided joke and josh is in hysterics during the outro

-im still not used to politicians turning up, but i dont have such an instinctive knee-jerk reaction anymore. yesterday i watched ed milibands episode and i was not prepared for him to a) have a sense of humour, or b) make that pig fucking joke. that being said i'm glad they all have the snooty rp accent because otherwise i might start actually liking them.

-in bad news, i've just realised that they've taken all but the most recent three episodes off of all 4 so when i get to later seasons i'm going to have to head to reddit for pirating links. i dont understand why they'd do this, honestly it makes me really sad to think theres a chance it's gonna be gone forever.

anyway yeah, im still having a blast watching this!

That's great, I'm glad you're enjoying it! And glad you still have notes!

- Jessica Hynes has been fantastic every time on The Last Leg (and just on everything else she does, which is on my mind at the moment as I only just watched last week’s episode of Outsiders and I think the way she and Joe Wilkinson play off each other is the best thing about this season). She was very good next to Chris O’Dowd in that episode when he showed up hammered, a whole situation that I found so hilarious that it makes me readjust how highbrow I like to think my sense of humour is. Another thing that reminds me I’m really not above things like that is I think Miriam Margolyes saying “cunt” twice in about a minute, and the collective reactions to that, is one of the funniest things that’s ever happened on that show. I sometimes re-watch just that bit and lose my breath laughing every time. Margolyes comes back a few times in future seasons, and she’s just good every time.

- Yeah Josh Widdicombe is not super political, but every once in a while he says something like that with what sounds like some genuine venom behind it, and that’s always good. Welcome to crush on Josh Widdicombe club, even if you were only briefly a member!

- Yeah, the tendency to “both sides” is a recurring issue, and one that, to be honest, only gets worse. It’s mostly not that bad, the show does take clear stances on lots of the most important issues, but sometimes they drop the ball. I understand why, they’re a mainstream Channel 4 show and they’re not trying to get in trouble, and sometimes, to their credit, they say some controversial stuff anyway. But they’ve pulled punches at times that I haven’t liked.

I can’t recall a lot of specifics about the way they take on trans issues, but I think I’d remember if I ever thought they handled it particularly badly, so you don’t have to worry about that too much, with one glaring exception. In 2019, people on Twitter asked them to give the “Dick of the Year” award to Graham Linehan, and they refused. I agreed with their reasoning for refusing – it involved the fact that Linehan had Tweeted about how he wanted to win that award, and they have a policy against using their silly year-end thing as a way to give more attention to people who are actively courting that attention, so anyone who says they want to win the Dick of the Year isn’t allowed to win it. That’s fair enough, but I didn’t like the way they explained it. There was a very short, careful, speech that really “both sides”-ed the issue in a way I did not and still don’t like. I think people Tweeted about giving Linehan that award because transmisogyny is clearly an important issue to lots of fans of The Last Leg, and they dismissed those concerns with the way they responded. I wrote a post around this time last year with the exact wording of what they said, if you want to know how bad it was before getting further invested.

I think it was a serious misstep, and not the only time I’ve remembered that they’re not going to get on the wrong side of people who do things like significantly influence their industry or, for example, give them MBEs. Their recent post-queen death episode reminded me that I should not expect this show to take difficult positions on things (I didn’t expect them to come out calling for a Republican revolution or anything, but any nuance at all in their sycophantic reverence for the monarchy and all it stands for would have been fucking nice). Having said that, I think they’ve got a lot of things right over the years, and moments with which I have a significant problem are few. But it’s good to keep your expectations at a level where you’re not too disappointed when they refuse to rise above things.

- Back to fun parts! The outro is always the funniest time for one of them to have an uncontrollable attack of laughter, because it’s when they’re not able to make up lost time by rushing through other stuff later, so Adam really has to just keep reading the autocue over whatever’s happening. Always funny. More often happens with Alex, but sometimes with Josh too, and sometimes they just set each other off. I think that might be my favourite thing about The Last Leg – any time Josh and Alex set each other off about anything.

- Oh God, I forgot they had Ed Miliband on. I suppose the fact that he can be so likeable on a comedy show is why comedy shows shouldn’t have politicians, but having said that, they sometimes create among the best episodes (I have to admit the Nick Clegg episode made me like Nick Clegg, it’s a good thing I don’t have a vote in British elections).

- Don’t worry, The Last Leg is well archived not gone forever. Send me something I can reply to privately (a private message or a non-anonymous ask) if you end up having trouble finding links, though stuff from seasons 15-ish and later tend to be not that hard to find. The early seasons are tough though, I’m glad I picked those up when I did. And the London 2012 episodes might actually be gone, but the rest is out there.

[lamonnaie]

hi!! gmmtv anon again ✨. i’m sorry for disappearing but real life was kicking my ass

the amount of fanmeets a lot of them do in general is insane. i do understand that this is how the company and the actors make a lot of their money, but come on they are overdoing it at this point. they are actors after all and not idols even tho p’tha called them “idols” 🗡️🗡️🗡️

i remember gem saying that he will have two shows next year, but idk if they will pair him up with a girl for the second one or if it will be another show with fourth. tbh before part 1 aired i was so sure they were gonna give winnysatang their own show with gemfourth as a side couple plus their own show as mains lol

i might check out some of joong’s scenes, but since it’s focused on the girls those scenes will very likely always involve film in one way or another. ugh it’s so annoying 😩

oh speaking of joong, a fan asked him at a fansign if he will have a show with dunk next year and he was like “no <3. Or maybe?” (https://x.com/allaboutnia_jd/status/1716433598008684595?s=46). i know they can’t spoil anything but this made me want to fight him hahahahah

so true! i’m glad we got a lot of new faces and that they’re actually giving them lead roles!!! you go gmmtv!!!

yeah mark was doing the most this year, and i love that for us and because i do5 think i would ever get tired of seeing his face. i’m still a bit sad about him having to drop out of cooking crush because getting more of neomark would’ve been epic. but it was also understandable because he had OF promo and shooting for last twilight going on at the same time. anyways, i do hope he will get offered more serious and maybe even lead roles now that he’s established himself an actor who can do more than just play the comic relief.

i’m praying for part 2 having even better shows than part 1 and pls it would be so funny if they gave taynew and offgun another show 😭😭😭

Hii!! :) Don't worry about it anon, no pressure at all to reply, life happens sometimes <3

nah the idol thing is so funny actually 😭😭 like some of these people are amazing actors, but extremely mediocre singers/dancers/etc at best hajskdj. i swear as soon as someone is even slightly marketable, off they go. i remember there were a couple markford intl fanmeets, even though i dont think they're gonna pair up again for a show

I definitely was expecting a het show for one or both of gem4th, but since the lineup's in 2 parts, it would make sense to save that for the 2nd installment (can already see the delulu fans not being too keen on it... gemini hung out with bimbeam recently and some people on twitter were.. yeah 😬) hopefully we get my love mix up soon after to kinda calm that 😂 (and then i'm completely wrong and we get another gem4th show 👀 i wouldn't be opposed either)

and another gem4th wnst show sounds so cute actually !!! i was honestly expecting a wnst leads show (not an ensemble), is it bad to still have hope for pt 2 🥺 at the very least, they seem to be going the full established cp route with wnst, they're gonna be in LOL next year + the logo. soooo if not pt 2, at the very least we'll surely get a wnst show in gmm2025 🤞

real, and given how many characters there are in ploy's yearbook, i can't imagine they're all gonna get a lot of screentime anyway. Also i didn't realise joong was paired up with film?? not the biggest fan of film (i'm sure she's lovely, i just don't vibe), sooo not looking too good for me 😅

JOONG WHYY 😭😭 he looks so smug, i dont know what to make of that <//3 ppw essentially spilled everything about their series before pt 1, surely he can give us some crumbs, not cryptic nonsense like that LMAO althoughh we've technically gotten a jd show 2 years in a row so maybe they're giving it a rest??

(also i was so confused by the person repeating himself in the background in english, took me way too long to realise it was dunk 😭😂)

(also anon, my bestie, this is kinda embarassing so keep it a secret for me <3 but i've been watching way too many of those jd tiktok compilations on yt lately 😭😭 i am the fan and i am being serviced 😌😅 hopefully we get another show soon tho)

i'm so glad mark's managing to make that jump!! he's such a good actor, both in comedy and more serious stuff :) i do hope we get more neomark at some point, i wouldnt want them to become a fixed pairing but i do wanna see them act together again

yesss i always see people not too happy about the lineups, maybe my expectations are too low but i'm pretty optimistic for pt 2 !! i rlly loved a lot of the shows in part 1, so hopefully they can match or top that :]

also anon did u see the last twilight trailer getting delayed 😭😭 gmm why (seem to be asking that a lot lately ajskdj) i rlly like jimmysea but i know they aren't as popular as other cps, and this isn't helping :((

[autistic-katara]

who’s the little guy you relate to the most? whats their fav genre of show ?(does that makes sense?) also whats their eyes color? do they have any fav movies?

also this isn’t technically a question but i love the concept of your story dude its so interesting like having a cool little found family but theyre all severely fucked up ppl and having them just trying to help each other cope even though they themselves have bad coping mechanisms so they sort of end up making each other worse with out realizing but theyre also sometimes good at helping each other cope (at least thats what i assume based on the limited knowledge i have) its just sooo !!!! and im super excited to see whats in store!!! (sorry for the rant lmao i hope this sort of makes sense)

also super off topic i had this cool ass dream about a show that doesn’t exist and im so sad its not real (ignore this part if you want)

heyyyyyy srry this took me so long to answer i was super busy today and didn’t have time to sit down and think until now heh

anyways i’d say i relate to Liam the most, his family dynamics being based off both mine and my best friend’s (realising now i haven’t explained that yet but i will if asked) and also me giving him my main unhealthy coping mechanism lmao. (tho i gave that to like half the characters but idk his is a bit more personal to me in a way) anyways yeah, he likes idk live action stuff with a plot that’s got at least a hint of queer subtext/text floating around it to keep it interesting if that makes any sense (eg. stranger things, dghda, probably supernatural tho i haven’t watched any that so i have absolutely no idea), his eyes r blue (everyone else’s being brown), and uhh i don’t watch enough movies to give him a fav so 😭

also genuinely thank u so fucking much for saying that u have no idea how much it means to me to hear that my dumb lil characters/story sounds cool (and yeah u got the right idea of what’s going on in it lmao) and yeah just thank u sm this is srsly making me actually wanna write it (tho not sure exactly what i’d do with it tbh like should i just post the chapters on ao3, or should i like make a book, or should i say “fuck it. let’s go all out” and make a comic on webtoon or smthn or yk cause all of those ideas have major pros n cons n yeah that’s my main issue) and yeah idk :)

also i feel u :,c

[mosviqu]

IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH AND I HATE ALL OF THE THINGS I GOT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ERA THEIR HARD WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED ENOUGH WAHHH

i didn't even have the motivation to check out the last song from them ngl💔💔very sad about them but maybe i will like it after watching music shows lmao i wont give up (fully) on the 03liners💔 WAITTTT TRUE HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT INTAK WHAT THE HECK I WAS SO HAPPY ABOUT HIM (and same i saw that they are having a cb and i was like:o i forgot about u guys:o) AN AMAZING CREW!!!! also would selfishly add enhypen sunoo he is a lovely 03 liner as well🥹 (idk know mcnd☹️☹️ i heard like 2-3 of their songs but i never checked them out☹️ BUT IM HAPPY THERE IS AN 03 LINER IN THERE!!!)

IT IS IMPORTANT BUT IM STILL NOT SURE IF ITS 100% TRUE😭 i love keeho so much like that was the point where i was like yeah u are going to be my fav from here!! seeing the screenshots of it still makes me laugh so much

i can imagine that😭 my sister was in the exact same situation as u💀

IT WAS!!!! dino is lovely and i would love to see u being his body guard ngl🤣 I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DIDNT DO IT💔💔just such a big heartbreak💔💔ALSO TALKING ABOUT TREASURE DID U HEAR THE SNIPPET HE POSTED OF A SONG??? it sounds very great imo

I CAN SO RELATE TO THAT!!! english is so hard without english classes i never realized that till now💔 i only talk in english with my sister but it's a mess i even just struggle to put together sentences now😭 writing my replies takes so much brain cells from me so i always just pray that u will get what i'm trying to say even if it's not correct lmao🥸 RECORDING VLOGS IS SO MUCH FUN!! i did it for a while and it was so amazing so i recommend it only sent them to my bestie but it was actually so funny😭 THE BRITISH PEOPLE GOT US REAL HARD💔

(AHHH THANK U SO MUCH;-; I APPRECIATE IT!!! HANBIN!!! I HOPE U WILL HAVE MORE MOMENTS OVER HIM LMAO HE IS VERY GREAT😌 although be careful with asking me about zbone members cuz idk three of them;-; but working on it🤞 and u can tag me or message me ofc i dont mind🥹💕) (liebestraum anon🥳💕)

LITERALLYYYY i saw a tiktok where it compared all the other dances where its a member x woman (ten or baek) and it said "so this is okay, but this isnt?" showing enha and the comments were like "we are the problem" LMAO so at least they are self-aware.

no because i was really disappointed too >:(( but the title track still slaps i said what i said. watched them perform it too and they have cute bubbly vibes i am heartbroken for the lack of interest from my side. NO BC WHEN I STARTED BIASING INTAK AND REALISED HE WAS A 03 LINER I HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. ((still am a jiung girlie at heart tho). i am really excited for their cb tho it sounds amazing!!! HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT SUNOO WHAT THE FUCK AAAAAAAAAA IM SO SORRY he's my fav 03 liner. ((there are actually 2 03 liners in mcnd but i forgot the other one LMAO i honestly cant remember their names anymore but i had a very short mcnd phase lol. all i know is that i'd die for minjae thats all)

i would honestly be a good bodyguard bc i have a lot of rage in me. like i could fully fight someone if i was mad enough LMAOO. everything for dino baby <3 I DID SEE THE SNIPPET I LOST MY SHIT LOWKEY HIGHKEY I AM SO EXCITED AAAAAAA

i mean english isnt really hard for me if we are talking abt writing and stuff but speaking out loud is more difficult if you don't regularly do it >:( dont worry we are on the same wavelength i always know what u mean w your replies AHAH sometimes i speak in eng w my roommate bc she is an english major (she only picked the major bc of me and then i ended up doing psychology so i owe her this bc her english isnt as good as mine) I USED TO RECORD VLOGS W MY BROTHER but we never posted them thank god. i'm still down to do it honestly its so fun LMAO

hanbin.......i looked up his name on tiktok once and now my fyp is filled with him and im so in love he's so cute and adorable and sweet like i saw clips of ppl giving him letters and how much he loves getting them and even asked if anyone has letters for him please zb1 fans give him letters!!!!!! no bc i only know ricky, hanbin, zhang hao and matthew :,) but the more i see them on my fyp the more i am convinced to stan once they debut like i legit debated on watching boys planet yesterday bc i lowkey like survival shows but when i found out the eps are 2 hours long i decided to just....not...do that...

also a small update on the tbz recs i did some progress and i really liked diamond life and survive the night :p i have like 11 songs left from the ones u recommended LMAO but yeah i loved those two

[grippingbeskar]

guilt

frank castle x fem!reader

word count: 1.9k

warnings: mentions of death, guilt, grief. it’s sad okay.

a/n: idk what this is, but i had to suffer through writing it so now you will be forced to read it. song for this (fic? too short for me) is We’ll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross because they finally put it on spotify and it’s as beautiful as i imagined. love you all

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“Does it get any easier?” You laid down on the concrete, staring up at the stars. Frank was next to you and your hands danced around each other, neither brave enough to take hold.

“Which part?” He asked, and you sucked in a breath. There was so much grief between the two of you, so much pain and loss, and even if it wasn’t the same, there was a solidarity; a mutual appreciation for the other.

“The guilt. I can feel it in my gut sometimes. Feels like I’m gonna puke.” You angle your head away from the sky and towards him, watching how his face moves, how his eyes flutter closed for a second, dwelling on it. 

“Has to.” He says to the stars, hoping they take pity on him.

“Sometimes I feel horrible; thinking about it. I’ll catch myself enjoying something he used to like, or laughing at something he would have found funny, and I’ll just think ‘how dare I be happy, how could I imagine myself happy without him’? Its almost like its a part of me now; to mourn him. I wouldn’t know how to live without it.” Frank turns towards you at some point, and you can see him through blurred eyes, not sympathetic, but a mirror of your grief. A partner.

“I thought for a long time I wouldn’t. Be happy without them. The kids are different - you don’t get to fix that wound.” He swallows and you take his hand. Your fingers dont intertwine but grip each other, a strong hold, used to pull each other closer. “But with her - she was perfect, I thought there was nothing on earth that would make me forget how alone I was without her.” He met your eyes, and you shivered underneath them.

“Did anything help?”

“Hunting them down did, for a while - but it was a bandaid over a bullet hole.” Nodding, you understand. Anger was the first stage of grief, after all, and it was a hell of a bandaid, you and Frank knew first hand.

“But after?”

“There was a day. I was outside, dont remember what the fuck I was doing, but the sunrise was real orange - you know that bright fiery type of sunrise? - that was her favourite thing. Used to make me go outside and stand in it, she said you wouldn’t be able to ‘feel’ it properly if you saw it through a window. She made me pull the car over on a freeway one time, just to see it. Nearly lost my car door that day.” You laugh and he laughs with you, the kind of laugh that could turn to tears if you were alone, but it doesn’t, because you weren’t.

“What’d you do?” He breathes deep and you feel his hand tighten on yours when he continues.

“I remember lookin’ at it, and thinking ‘Man, she would of loved this’. Then I just went back inside. Went to bed.”

“That was it?”

“That was it. It wasn’t till I woke up the next morning I realised what happened. That shit used to break me, those fuckin’ sunsets, sunrises - whatever. But I just saw it, thought of her, and then I didn’t.” He sounds like it still confuses him - the idea of not cracking under the loss of her.

“I played laser tag. We did that on our first date. I didn’t cry once. When I came home I hated myself for it - enjoying it without him.” You had to laugh again because it sounded ridiculous out loud, and it might to anyone else, but not to Frank, because he understood. “Whenever I don’t feel sad about it, it feels like I’m forgetting some part of him; like the pain is the only thing I have left.”

“Yeah.” Franks voice cracks, and the stars twinkle in his eyes. “I dont think thats what it is, though.”

“No?”

“Nah. Thats the good shit. The best parts of them. Kind of like a scar.” You shuffle so your body faces him.

“How?”

“The worst part is the pain of it. You get shot, it hurts straight away, but eventually, you take the bullet out and then it heals, and your left with the scar and the story of getting shot.” For someone who was capable of such violence, such destruction with his bare hands, he tore you apart with just his words, in the best way. A tear falls onto the concrete and Frank swears he could hear it, shifting to face you, too.

“So he won’t disappear? Even if...” You fade off as your linked hands come up to settle in between you. This had been a long time coming, the both of you floating in this strange in between of being promised to those who would never be here to claim you. There had been a connection instantly, not just physical, but the emptiness you both felt at losing the ones you held closest, you both sort of filled that with the other. It was the simplest of equations, he made you feel whole, and you made him complete. But the fear that came with moving on, the fear of leaving them behind, it ate at both of you, gnawing at the invisible string you had tied to each other - as if you needed permission from them. Permission from each other.

“They can’t. Impossible.” You nod your head against the concrete. Theres no way you could forget him, and Frank wears his ring around his neck; close to his heart.

“So maybe they just play a different part. Scars instead of bullets, then.” Frank smiles at your use of his analogy. You always listened so intently, always looked at him how you were now, with a complete and utter devotion. It made him fucking nervous. He felt his hand start to sweat under yours, but he didn’t think once of letting go.

“Scars instead of bullets. I like that.”

“You would. You made it up.” You say and he laughs again. You remember the first time you made him laugh, the way it lights up his whole face, his eyes close a little and he always shakes his head, as if in disbelief. You think he looks beautiful when he laughs, but you’ve never told him.

“You think they’re watchin’ us?” Franks eyes flick up to the sky, and you can see the moon - its massive, overgrown and bursting at the seams. It looks how your heart feels.

“Sometimes. Only when we think of them. When we want them to.”

“Yeah. They have shit to do, I guess.” You smile at him and his eyes haven’t left your face.

“It’s just been getting less and less these days. The kind of overwhelming sadness I felt at the beginning. I don’t know, I just feel-”

“Guilty. I know.”

“We dont have to, though. Do we?” He shakes his head, and you both know what you are talking about now. Not the guilt of moving on from the initial loss, not the guilt of slowing the suffering. You were guilty about the way Frank was holding your hand, and how his other one came up to your face, a gentle touch on your cheek making your skin burn with fire; alive.

Frank didn’t feel guilty. Maybe that made him a bad person, maybe it would hit him later, when he was alone. It always came when he was alone, or just when he was without you.  

“We dont have to feel guilty. Do you?” He asks, and you swallow.

“A bit. But it doesn’t make me any less sure.” Franks hand stops on your face, and he shuffles closer. His body heat radiates over you like a blanket, and you can feel his breath on your eye lashes. 

“Me either.” He whispers. His hand finds your hair, and he always loves how soft it is in his calloused fingers.

“I loved him for so long. And you loved her.”

“I did. With everything I had.” You nod.

“We did. But that’s over.” He nods.

“It is.”

“And that hurts. Forever - it will hurt forever. But I dont love him anymore.” Another tear falls down your cheek, but Franks hand catches it. He always catches you. 

“I know.” You shuffle closer this time, and you bring your joined hands to your chest so he can feel your racing heart on the back of his wrist. “I dont love her anymore.” He sighs, and he cries too.

“We are so fucked up, Castle.” You both smile through tear stained faces. Its insanity, the way you both sit here, crying about loves lost years ago, but time doesn't make the wound any less real, just a little less raw.

“Fifty shades of fucked up.” He says and his thumb brushes over your cheek again. The cold wind blows over both of you, and Frank can smell the perfume you are wearing. Its sweet, but has a hint of something else he can’t place, and the smell of it has been driving him crazy for months. He was waiting for this; for you. You both needed this - permission from the other, like approaching a deer in the woods, quietly and with utter calm, for fear he would scare it off. This was him offering his handful, begging you not to run away.

“But we can be fucked up together.” You say, so quietly that if a gust of wind came at that exact moment the words would have been lost forever, drifting into the abyss of the night. 

“Together?” Frank isn’t sure if he heard that right. His approach is cautious, never stepping too heavy towards you. You had to come to him, or you would never come at all.

“Yeah. You think that would work?” Frank pulls your hands from your chest and brings them to his face, a gentle kiss on the back of yours forever changing your gravitational pull from earth to him. 

“I think so.” He whispers to your joined hands, and the warmth of his words flow straight through you.

“We can take it one day at a time.” You say. You don’t know what he’s thinking, and it would shatter you to think he hasn’t felt the same about you for months, wanting so badly what you felt you couldn’t have. You want to go slow; you dont want to rush him into something he isn’t ready for, and you yourself aren’t sure what you are ready for. What you do know is how badly you want Frank to come closer - to be closer.

“One day at a time, sweetheart.” He uses his free arm to pull you towards him, and you both sigh; warmth and relief seeping into both of your chests. For the first time, this felt possible. This; this unattainable array of sparks and life, it was tangible and came in the form of Franks arm wrapping you into his body, your own moulding to fit.

You both fell asleep like this, breathing in tune, the sickness of grief melting onto the concrete around you with every deep exhale. That morning, on the rooftop where the two of you were tangled together, lips just mere atoms away from each other in sleep, the sunrise was a bright orange, and when Frank opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was how the sun lit up your face.

[90ssunsetcurve]

Once Upon a Dream

Pairing: Reggie x reader

Summary: As requested: “ 6 words: soulmate au reggie peters x reader :) (actually maybe that was 7 idk is ":)" a word?)”

a/n: Soooo, I got way too excited about that request and created a whole thing about how their connection works and that's why I'm going to divide the fic in a few parts.

You've always had those dreams; sometimes, you even wonder if your first dream, when you were a baby, had music in it already since you can't remember a time when it wasn't like that. Maybe it was a lullaby back then? The first time you told someone about the soundtrack of your dream, you were shocked to find out that didn’t seem to be a common thing. Well, for you it was. Sometimes you could see a place or just colors. There were dreams where you couldn't see anything at all, you could only feel. It felt like a hug or like calm or happiness or sitting beside someone you enjoy the company of. It was difficult to explain, you could only fully understand it because that's what the nights were like for you but there was always music on the background. Not like a radio or a concert, actually you've never even heard a voice, it’s always someone playing somethig; a bass, a guitar, even a banjo a coulpe of times. That one was specially fun since you wouldn't hear it as often. One time you heard the keyboard and you couldn't help but ask the empty beach around you "seriously, how many instruments do you even play?!" The first time it felt like sadness you panicked. It wasn't your sadness, you just could feel someone crying and you had no idea who it was, still you just knew it was the same person playing and you wished you could see them, hug them, take away their sadness. You wanted to be sad instead because that person should be alright. You just knew the musician deserved the world because way too often the dreams felt like meeting someone who was truly nice, one of those people who are almost too good for this world, someone you now wanted to protect. You never told a soul about those details. Nor how with time you just understood things about the misterious musician who only existed in your dreams, it was like the information just popped in your head without you noticing. "Maybe I should buy that candle, it's his favorite scent", you told yourself while shopping "Wait! His?"; "He would have hated that movie"; "I am not gonna get a puppy" you said rolling your eyes as the dream just felt like he thought it was a good idea.

"What's that?" Luke asked picking up the tiny object that Julie had disconnected from her computer. "A flashdrive" Reggie answered naturally "It's like a super modern tape but she can record both music and movies in it. And even other things! And she opens it on her computer instead of the tv or the radio. Cool, right?" "How do you know that?" Julie was the first one to be able to ask. He shrugged under the stares. "I've seen Y\N with one of those before." "Who is Y\N?" Luke and Alex exchanged a look before the guitarist spoke "Reggie always had those dreams, he could always see Y\N and uh kind of ...communicate? They've never really met." He was a bit hesitant to explain that to Julie, they knew how crazy it sounded. "Wait, do you still have those dreams?" Alex asked confused. "No, we don't sleep anymore so I can't dream. I miss it." he answered saddly. Alex looked at him in shock, waiting for the brunette to realise what he had just said, but that wasn't happening "Are you telling me you had a dream about THAT" he pointed to the flashdrive "back when we were alive?!" his voice was higher than normal. "Yeah, because nowadays I can never even dream!" Reggie said, kicking the couch softly. He was so frustrated that Alex cared about the date of the dream when he could almost cry thinking about how much he missed you. "That's... how ca... ok." Alex forced himself to calm down seeing how sad his friend was "Sorry, I know how important Y\N is for you." He hugged Reggie, facing his other friend as if asking for help but Luke just gave him a sad frown and placed a hand on Reggie’s back to comfort the boy too.

[albatris]

@polyacery​

:D!! yes!! ok!! yes!! please forgive the much-much-much-lengthier-than-intended ramble sorry thank you love you <3

first off, two facts about Noa and Kai:

they care about each other a lot

they cannot fucking STAND each other 90% of the time

they struggle a lot when it comes to teamwork, their personalities don't mesh well under pressure and their approaches to problem-solving differ wildly, so they often end up getting on each other’s nerves and being quite tense when they have to work together :P nothing, like, dramatic though, and nothing that escalates beyond general bickering and annoyance

that being said, on a personal and social level they do view each other as close friends and (can) get along well, though you’d be hard-pressed to get either of them to admit it. they share a lot of similarities (some of which I’ll go into) and both value the other as someone they can be open and honest with and drop their guard around, which is sayin somethin ‘cause openness and honesty are notoriously difficult for both of them lmao

in general I would say hmmmm

Noa views Kai (fondly) as a bastard and a swindler and possibly the most infuriating person she’s ever met, an opinion which does not change even as she grows to consider them a friend. like, genuinely? she fuckin hates their guts. and their ridiculously charming smile. and the way they can sweet talk their way into or out of any situation. she’s a little bitter about the way people just seem to hand over whatever Kai wants just ‘cause they’re a smooth-talker and good at pulling strings, ‘cause that level of uhhhhh sneaky interpersonal finesse is not something she’s ever really been able to access and it strikes her as cheating ahaha

that being said, though she finds their personality grating and their face punchable, they’re a person who cares intensely about people, not in an abstract theoretical all-talk-no-action kind of way, but in a concrete, physical, motivated “hey let me help you with that right now” kind of way, which Noa will never have any beef with. too many people sit around talking about what it means to do the right thing. not enough people get out there in a van full of interdimensional crime and pull off elaborate heists for the greater good

Kai has a similar take on Noa in that regard, as in, like. she’s kind of hardcore, yes. but. there are too many people sitting around talking about what it means to do the right thing, not enough people getting rightfully fucking unhinged and charging headfirst into injustice and cruelty and punching the shit out of it. her methods are a little too impulsive and headstrong for Kai’s tastes but it works for her n they’re cheering from the sidelines lol

but ye, Kai views Noa as. hm. a very very very intense person who is a lot of fun to mess with. pretty much as soon as Kai realises Noa isn’t going to be a threat in any capacity they’re like “sick now I have free reign to be the most annoying person in the universe” and they absolutely follow through. they find her passion and intensity amusing but admirable, and they were sold on the fact that she’s a good, kind person no matter her prickly exterior the second they saw how much she adores her mum c:

so, arguably, half of the next part is just,,,, me elaborating to an excessive extent,,,,, but this info used to be at the start of the ramble so I’d already written it before being like “hey wait a minute” so to hell with it I’m including it anyway

these two don’t get a lot of screentime together till the second half of the book and they have a pretty rocky start imo

like, Noa’s first impressions of Kai on two separate occasions are “that bastard who robbed me while I was on the clock” and “that random weirdo who somehow charmed my best friend into thinking they’re cool even though they sound like the shadiest motherfucker on the entire planet and I’m pretty sure they’re a serial killer”, which then culminate into “oh shit these are in fact the same person and they’re definitely bad news”

Kai never dislikes Noa the same way Noa dislikes them, but they are wary of her and have a healthy degree of fear regarding the threat she could pose to them.......... Kai and Noa’s different career choices put them at odds with each other right off the bat, what with Noa working for the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities and Kai operating a significantly less legal business that’s essentially the antithesis of the DII

plus Noa in general has a reputation for being Kind Of Fucking Terrifying

initially I would say they both view the other as “potentially a legitimate threat” and “not to be underestimated”, but post-mid-story-heist they get to spend some proper time together and form more grounded opinions of each other :P though arguably still for a considerable while the only reason they put up with each other is because Tris is like “:D” at them both and they’re like........ aw no I don’t wanna make him sad

Kai warms to Noa a lot faster than Noa warms to Kai, ‘cause Kai warms to most people pretty quick provided they’re not literal axe murderers. Noa starts to warm to Kai only after careful observation and assessment leads her to conclude the following two facts with reasonable certainty:

Kai does appear to be in possession of a solid moral compass

Kai has no ill intent towards Tris whatsoever

which tips the scale in their favour enough for her to be like “okay fine”

there's a level of distance and awkwardness between them for ages 'cause like, yeah, they're friends they guess but not like, friends-friends, there just seems to be something that's not clicking, n the main reason for that is just like

(handshake meme)

a deep-seated terror of being emotionally open and vulnerable resulting in a pathological need to project a loud outgoing persona that masks every ounce of insecurity and fear and prevents anyone from getting close enough to Know You: Noa 🤝 Kai

as soon as THAT realisation clicks for both of them n they're like "oh shit you're just like me and I know exactly how you feel" it instils a sense of connection and camaraderie between them and solidifies a kinship based on Something rather than simply "mutual friends" and "sometimes we're in the same place"

n like, obviously the others Know about the whole. situation. with Kai’s backstory but Kai’s still pretty cagey about it emotionally speaking.... I’m pretty sure Noa is?? the only person they manage to completely drop their guard around over the course of the story? in terms of like.... having a genuine heart-to-heart about the emotions involved and the fear n guilt

and like. yeah. yeah. Noa hasn’t made a friend besides Tris in like ten years n she’s also notoriously cagey with her emotions and her being genuine and vulnerable is just....... not a thing that happens very often or very easily.... and even less through a lot of the story

idk man. they’ve just got good vibes together

they offer each other a Safe Place and a level of understanding that maybe the others don’t quite grasp. even though the others r still empathetic and care for them a lot n have equally important things they bring to the friendship. Noa and Kai just have a vibe yeah

even though they’d sell each other to satan for one corn chip

[brw]

Tony Stark and Reed Richards for the character ask thing

TONY STARK

how i feel about this character: 😬 ngl i... don't care for him. at all. i don't vehemently hate him, there's definitely times where i appreciate him & his personality but it's few and far between and i... genuinely do not get the hype. i think its mostly mcu fans' fault for my dislike, its just he's fucking EVERYWHERE now, it's impossible to miss him? like he plays a big role in EVERY avengers comic now, he gets ongoing titles all the time, and it's just so frustrating especially when you consider characters who used to be more or less on the same level on them (like hank pym! who, by the way, has been dead for 6 consecutive years! that would never happen with tony!) or even more popular than him now get streamlined because of the mcu's popularity. by himself, i don't really mind him that much, but with how famous he is now and how large and frankly annoying his fan base is i just... now really do not like the character.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: short list here; reed, because i find their dymanic of reed as someone who does everything for his family and will do everything and anything he can to protect their interests above everyone else but also wants to keep his hands clean and believes, genuinely, in the good of the world, and tony as someone who will do horrendous things in the name of the greater good who always has the bigger picture in mind interesting. i also don't know a lot about it but he seems cute with rhodey? even if i think rhodey deserves a bigger chance to be his own character away from tony as is sometimes denied i can always appreciate a good best friends to lovers dymanic :)

my non romantic otp for this character: um? i honestly don't know 😭 i don't like him enough to say, i guess him n reed again? him n rhodey again? help 😭😭😭

my unpopular opinion of this character: he does not deserve the fame he has. like, i dont mean to sound jealous or whatever but pre 2007 movie he was not the most well liked character or even that popular. like obviously he had fans because he had solo series on and off for a very long time but it just feels SO ridiculous that tony stark has a bigger fandom than the fucking fantastic four. THE FANTASTIC FOUR. marvel's first superhero team, and yet??? like okay. he might have things to offer i don't see. he obviously does, i mean, he got three movies and multiple solo series. but he has most certainly not got enough as a character to overshadow the fantastic four, the x-men, etc and i will never forgive the mcu & mcu fans (and mark miller, he deserves blame too) for making it so. again, by himself he's fine but it is ridiculous to me that a one note white character that appeared in his third film (harley keener or... whatever) has 2000s more fics than THE PROTAGONIST OF INTO THE SPIDERVERSE, MILES MORALES. it is just... so vile and frustrating to me.

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: he didn't exist <3 jk jk um i'm not sure? i guess it would be funny if he was like... stick thin underneath the armour. like idk. he's in the armour 24/7 it makes sense to me for him to be a skinny little nerd under there. like completely fucking small. like you can't be a superhero AND be a billionaire and avoid all those taxes AND run the avengers AND run multiple massive corporations and still work out... even if you take away eating and sleeping there's just not enough time... it would be funny if he was just a tiny little boy underneath all that djndndbf

my otp: gonna say him and rhodey again. like i say, can never resist a good best friends to lovers dymanic.

my cross over ship: jdjshdhdh literally none i don't think about him enough to consider it <3

headcanon fact: 100% think he was the one to offer reed that money to star in a p*rno it's just so funny to me to imagine dhsnndnd

REED RICHARDS

how i feel about this character: HE'S MY BOY! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! like i guess it's paradoxical considering how similar he is to tony in some ways but man i just love reed so much. i so genuinely think reed richards is what tony stark fans want him to be. like they (mcu fans) make up elaborate headcanons of him being a good dad and an ethical billionaire and its like no that's reed richards? canonically he's gone broke bc he refuses to get money off his inventions... u have the wrong man... anyway he's also an asexual LEGEND i do not take criticism and ofc. autistic icon. literally he's so autistic it makes me <3 i love him dearly.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: it would be easier to list the people i DON'T ship with him lol. sue, obviously, victor ofc, and ben are the big ones, but i just LOVE his dymanic with t'challa and i think they would rlly work it... i also love the idea of him with namor, idk with victor it's just so funny to imagine reed as like. bizarrely attractive to rulers of foreign countries. blackagar faces the same problem <3 i also do believe him n hank pym dated in college for a bit... all their weird little microaggressions towards each other just makes me feel that way... again i do like him w/ tony and i made this weird au where he and emma frost got together which if prompted i WILL talk about. probably. more but yeah <3

my non romantic otp for this character: while i do LOVE them together as lovers i just love. benreed generally <3 like they're LITERALLY besties they love each other sm and i'm tired of pretending they don't????? so many people ignore this relationship and it makes me so sad!!! they're best friends they love each other fight for each other fight with each other theyre literally besties... smh put some respect on the benreed name 😤

my unpopular opinion of this character: i don't think this is that unpopular but it is in certain circles so! i genuinely think reed is the best marvel dad! like you can talk abt others all u want but the fact is that reed is the only character i can think of who has always been there in his kid's lives and has consistently put their needs first. like not saying other characters are bad but even at his worst writing he's always done his best for his kids and certainly has been full of love for them. other characters at their worse have. murdered their own kids <3 genuinely he's the best marvel dad and sure there's not a lot of competition but. yeah <3

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character: I WANT A CANONICAL AUTISM DIAGNOSIS NOW. literally he is SO autistic & there are... no big autistic marvel characters! at all! literally none! the closest we have is legion (who was written in an incredible ableist way and autism hasnt been used to describe him in a solid 30 years) and monet (and it turned out it wasn't monet but one of her twin sisters impersonating her :/) so it would just mean so much to see a canonically autistic character like reed who is older & has a wife and kids who he loves and who they love in return on panel. like so much of the rep we DO have is like, young kids or teens and idk an autistic adult would just mean so much to me. especially one like reed who is as selfless & loving as he is.

my otp: tie between doomreed and reedsue! any option that gets this noodle nerd lots of love i'm good for tbh

my cross over ship: him and ralph dibney from dc should date... they have so much in common... stretchy autistic man who's very smart and kind of silly who loves his wife sue who pegs him 🥴 they'd have so much to talk about sjbdhdhd also imagining the look on ben's face realising there's TWO of them is. so funny.

headcanon fact: he's aromantic he's asexual and neither of these stop him from his very meaningful & passionate relationship with his wife :)

assorted character ask game!

[littleoddwriter]

Annoying | Roman Sionis x Male!Reader

"hi,,,, me again,,,, back,,,, with another request,,,,, 24 and 16,,,, with roman? like reader is talking about their hyper fixation (I don't mind what it is) while roman is trying to work on something and without thinking just snaps about trying to work and that reader needs to stop being so annoying, reader then withdraws into themselves because rsd is a bitchhhh and later roman is trying to act like he never did anything but reader is still :( and when roman asks why and reader is like "you called me annoying" roman just rolls his eyes and is like "you gotta stop taking things so seriously" which just further upsets reader (you can choose how to solve this, and stuff, how forgiveness is given and stuff idk) thanks ily bby" @theamazingspideymerc​ A/N: I hope this is to your liking. Ily2, my dear! 

summary; You talk about your current hyper fixation [Unus Annus, a (now in real time, but not in the fic) deleted YouTube channel], while Roman’s working, so he snaps at you. A small argument ensues, but you forgive and forget quickly.

notes: TW // Small fight/Fighting; RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) + Abandonment Issues (due to past trauma). Male!Reader; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; Forgive and Forget; Actually communicating after a small fight; Hyper Fixations.

"And like it's gonna end soon and I'm really sad about it, right? But I'm also kinda happy because they'll have time for their own projects again and I can't imagine how stressful it must have been to put out a video every single day. Like, Mark and Ethan and Amy, Evan and all the editors were so busy every single day with it, but it was definitely worth it. And I mean, some of the videos were so fucking high quality and stuff. Most were like really long shit posts, though, and I loved it and I'm gonna miss it, but---"

"Fuck, y/n, could you stop being so fucking annoying for one second? I'm trying to actually get some work done here," Roman interrupted you harshly, piercing you with an angry glare.

Immediately your mouth clamped shut, your eyes filled with tears, your face and ears burned, and you lowered your head, as to not let him see your lower lip wobble.

"I'm sorry," you whispered.

Roman just turned back around and continued working. You were left sitting on the chaise longue, feeling exposed, hurt, guilty and ashamed. Curling in on yourself, you drew your legs up, so your knees were against your chest, as you wrapped your arms around them and lowered your head on them.

You just wanted to disappear.

This was it. It had to be. You annoyed Roman one too many times and now he would break up with you and tell you to fuck off, never wanting to see you again.

You tried very hard not to cry. You didn't want to disturb him any further by being loud while sobbing uncontrollably.

Though with the effort of holding it back, your entire body was quaking. You felt so uncomfortable. You just wanted to go, but you couldn't make yourself get up and go to the bathroom or bedroom, lest you would only annoy Roman by moving around.

A while later - you couldn't pinpoint how long it's been, but your entire body felt stiff and ached - Roman got up from the dining table and moved over to you, sitting down next to you.

"Come out of your shell, baby, hm? I'm done, now. If you like, we can eat then. All this fucking work's made me hungry," he said, tapping your shoulder and then squeezing one of your arms that was wrapped around your legs.

The lump in your throat felt so big, you couldn't make yourself talk, couldn't loosen it. Only a tiny whimper made it past your lips, making you cringe inwardly.

"Baby, come on. What is it, hm?" Roman asked, squeezing you again and then nudging you.

"You called me annoying." It was a hoarse whisper, hardly audible at all.

"Fuck. You've got to stop taking things so seriously all the time."

The grip your hands had on your legs tightened with what he said.

"It's not as easy as you make it out to be, Roman." Your voice broke throughout, it was so raw and hoarse from holding back those tears and not drinking anything for hours.

"Oh, come on. You know I wasn't serious. I was just busy and agitated by what I was working on. It didn't have shit to do with you. 'Kay?"

"That's not what it sounded like to me."

"Well, it's the fucking truth, though." Roman rolled his eyes and sighed.

You finally looked up at him, hurt written all over your face, your eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Look, I'm okay with you telling me that I need to shut it because you're working and I'm sorry that I haven't stopped talking sooner, okay? I just don't realise it sometimes. But you don't need to be such a fucking asshole about it."

Roman clenched his jaw and nodded jerkily.

"'Kay then," he rasped and got up, walking away from you, away from this conversation.

"Fuck," you muttered. "Roman, I'm sorry. Please!" Your voice broke even more as you raised it to still reach his ears, as he was almost in the hallway.

Roman halted and turned around, facing you again. His face was twisted with barely concealed hurt and anger.

"What?" He hissed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think. I'm sorry. Please, come back. Can't we just talk this through? Please?"

He took a deep breath and sighed, his shoulders sagging with it, the anger leaving his face, but the hurt remained. Then he walked back over to you and sat down again.

"Fine. Let's fucking talk then."

"Thank you," you whispered.

He jerked his head in a resemblance of a nod.

"People always shut me up and told me I'm annoying, too much, a nuisance, and so on, when I would talk about my hyper fixations, you know? All my fucking life, everyone would make me feel bad and ashamed for it. Not like I had much control over it. Though I started bottling it up and shutting up, instead writing about it on the internet or whatever. So that I'd stop annoying everyone around me and possibly make them hate me."

You paused, swallowing thickly.

"Yet, surprisingly you listened, even though I know you couldn't give less of a fuck. You don't make me feel bad about this stuff, you just listen and sometimes say something about it or ask questions and it's nice, y'know? 'Cause no one's ever bothered to do that for me before. And now-"

A wry laugh left your lips. Tears welled up again. A lump developed in your throat.

"Now you called me annoying, just like everyone else. And I can't help but fear that you will leave me. That you fucking hate me, that I've been annoying you all this time and now it was just one time too many. Roman, I don't want you to leave me because I keep talking about things you don't care about. I don't want you to hate me because I'm fucking annoying."

You couldn't make eye contact with him throughout the whole speech, looking anywhere but at him, like you always did when you talked.

He inhaled sharply, which made you look at him. Tears shone in his eyes.

"Fuck. I didn't mean to- Fuck! You're not annoying, baby. You're not. I was really just tired and fucking done because of work, is all. Your talking was grating on my ears and making it fucking hard for me to focus. That's why I snapped. I didn't even think of what I was fucking saying. I'm not gonna fucking leave you for talking, baby. I'm not."

An ugly sounding sob finally tore itself from your throat and tears rolled down your eyes, as you lowered your legs after all this time. Roman wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close, your head resting against his chest. Your tears soaked his expensive cotton shirt, but he didn't seem to care. He rubbed your arms soothingly, as you trembled with the force of your emotions.

"Ssshhh, baby, sh sh sh," Roman shushed you gently, pressing kisses in your hair and nuzzling it. "I'm not leaving you, 'kay?"

"O-Okay," you whimpered in between snivels. "I'm sorry, though. I overreacted. I'm sorry."

"Don't. It's over now, isn't it? It doesn't fucking matter anymore, yeah?"

You nodded against his chest. It didn't matter, not now, not anymore. Perhaps only until the next time he would snap at you again, but until then it would stay in the past.