#but yeah imo he does. and i'd like to believe that too also bcs i get his character but i ofc can't still tell for sure!

[mysterycitrus]

I know a lot of ppl ask u abt jason or dick but im wondering now, what do u think about bruce? I find him a very interesting character whose characterization is incredibly feeble, both bc of his 80 years of history and the tendency writers have to project their own male fantasies on him. So i'd definitely love to hear ur own thoughts about him. I personally enjoy depicting him as someone morally grey, although my sympatization for him changes day to day. Wether you think he is a good or a bad person, i believe u need to make him dedicated to gotham and the bat as a symbol, and that comes with all its advantages and drawbacks

bruce wayne is sooooo interesting (derogatory) because like u said, he carries the baggage of every masochismo author that decided batman was too woke and should hurt his kids and that supporting gotham’s infrastructure is for pussies. there’s also the flipside of that, where he’s the perfect father who’s waaaay too emotionally regulated for my taste. both of these interpretations are bad imo, and both functionally miss the point.

i think part of this (in fandom) is an obsession with moral angst — u can either be a good person doing good things, or a bad person doing bad things. think about how some characters are crucified while others are babied. someone always has to be absolutely right, and the other has to be absolutely wrong.

in reality, there are a lot of people who are fundamentally kind and fundamentally want to do good that are really terrible to the people in their lives. bruce wayne being someone who relies on having so much control that it implodes his connections to the people around him is an important part of his character. his profound love for his children, for gotham and her people, for humanity in general and his belief in peoples ability to change, doesn’t circumvent the fact that he’s often an emotionally abusive man who hurts others to achieve his own ends. he contains multitudes.

writing him as a functionally irredeemable, violently abusive person is the anti-thesis to the symbol that he himself created. no, i personally don’t believe he actively beats his kids (even though it’s supported in the text). no, i don’t think he’s an irredeemable sadist (as much as frank miller wants u to believe otherwise). to have people like dick grayson and diana and clark and dinah love and believe in u means that there has to be something there worth caring about, otherwise the whole universe is gonna fall apart.

that’s what makes his relationship to cass so interesting — he sees his neuroticism, his dedication to the cause above all else, and does not find it admirable. he finds it confronting and upsetting. and to be clear, cass (like dick) is very much the moral ideal of what batman should be, but still bruce finds it hard to deal with!!

his abject failures — his treatment of the robins, his crippling guilt about jason, his fears of becoming a killer, the impossible load he gives himself to carry — means that when he’s shown as someone who genuinely cares, it makes him more complex. like yeah, bruce isn’t actually a cold hearted person. he really really gives a shit. too many shits, to be totally honest. he’s a morally grey person that wants to do good, but is so terrified of losing control that he keeps others away and hurts them in the process. there’s a reason why his emotional crutch was a traumatised eight year old fr. nothing is more important than the mission, including bruce wayne himself

[marley-manson]

I am grateful for your Mash Metas, your BJ ones for sure. They are much more closer to what I think of him, and I was starting to think I was not understanding his character properly because I think he's mean to others, especially Hawkeye.

But I think it makes him more interesting. Hawkeye's best friend who doesn't like him, but wants to be liked by him. He loves Hawkeye, but he does not like him. Do you think this would eventually bother Hawkeye? After the war when he thinks about it? Or would he never notice it?

Thank you, I'm glad you've been enjoying my takes! And thanks for your interest in my opinions!

Ohhhh man I love how you put that, doesn't like him but wants to be liked by him, loves him but doesn't like him, it's so good. Now that's the kind of interesting dynamic I'd read 1000 fics about.

This got long lol so it's under a cut

To be perfectly fair I think I probably go a step beyond what the writers intended wrt the flaws in BJ and his friendship with Hawkeye. I think we have clear demonstrations of resentment, taking his negative feelings out on Hawkeye, passive aggression, tearing Hawkeye down to build himself up, etc, but I think we're meant to take most of it in good comedic fun, and sympathize with BJ even when the show's painting him as genuinely cruel, because he's sad and misses his family etc. This behaviour isn't really meant to significantly darken the vibe of their friendship, probably.

But yk, to me it does lol, I don't think the writing/acting threaded the needle successfully. Maybe it would've worked for me if I saw more chemistry between Hawk and BJ, idk. But yeah the way you describe them is def the impression I get, and that's the headcanony angle I'm gonna discuss them from here. Basically BJ and Hawkeye's friendship being uneven bc Hawkeye genuinely likes BJ while BJ usually likes being around Hawkeye and does love him in a way, but dislikes/resents a lot of things about him, and shows it in cruel ways.

So to actually answer your question... idk lol. I mean I can see a few possibilities. Like I feel like it does bother Hawkeye in canon a little, but not enough to cause an actual rift. Like, reasserting himself once after one of BJ's intense prank schemes by mildly revenge-pranking BJ fixes things for him. When they argue, they eventually just agree to stop arguing without resolving anything because they're stuck together and they need each other. In Wheelers and Dealers he's alternately exasperated with BJ and soothingly placating, and it's Margaret who has to come in and yell some sense into him. In Heroes Hawkeye goes out of his way to try to make BJ feel better after several jealous digs BJ makes at his expense, by trying to get some limelight on him. He's vocally upset about the punch in Period of Adjustment but he's ready to be a shoulder to lean on as soon as BJ apologizes. In Picture This he drops the petty fight instantly when he's led to believe that BJ needs his support. He often gets upset with BJ, but never truly puts his foot down and always capitulates.

So yeah I get the vibe that Hawkeye knows that their friendship is uneven and he gives a lot more than he gets, and that BJ resents him in a lot of ways and lashes out because of it. Plus in addition to how he responds to a lot of BJ's bullshit, he also just generally is pretty emotionally intelligent and tends to understand people imo.

And I don't think Hawkeye puts up with it because he lacks self esteem and doesn't think he deserves better, I think it's because a) he's empathetic and sympathizes with BJ and the war's effect on him and b) he doesn't have much of a choice but to put up with the negative side of their friendship, because he relies on that friendship too much. Plus I think while he has a mostly realistic view of himself, he does see himself as a little more more resilient and capable than other people, and therefore willing to put up with more. Like to an extent I almost see him tolerating BJ's lashing out as indulging him? Like, 'okay get it out of your system, I can handle it.' I don't have concrete reasoning for this lol, but it's mainly his behaviour in episodes like Dr Pierce Mr Hyde or Dreams where he doesn't sleep because he's the best surgeon and he's needed, even while sending others off for breaks, combined with always being a shoulder for BJ to lean on no matter how shitty he's been (eg Period of Adjustment, GFA), and like, the end of Fallen Idol lol where he basically says 'whatever pedestalize me i guess, i can take it.' And the way he never gives as good as he gets in the prank episodes, which narratively is because the show likes it when Hawk is a victim, but lbr it makes sense if it's partly bc he knows BJ can dish it out but can't take it.

So I feel like post-war Hawkeye would be aware of BJ's weird contradictory feelings about him, because I like to think he's aware during the war, but he wouldn't really resent it? He'd probably still have fond memories of the friendship and he'd see it as kinda messed up but so was everything else while he was drafted and it was better than most aspects of living in a war zone. He knows they were stuck together and probably wouldn't have been friends outside the war, and they made the best of it. And if BJ kind of sucked at holding his end up, well, the war was hard on him and Hawkeye sympathizes. I don't think he'd ever really frame it like, "Hey wait, I was the one who had a breakdown actually, so why was I BJ's emotional support and punching bag combined?" I think he's just automatically very tuned into other people's pain - not to the extent of ignoring his own, but in a way that's like, he'd rather help someone else than wallow in his own misery.

But if he saw BJ again post-war for any length of time and BJ fell back into those old patterns, I don't think he'd put up with it now. If BJ was like, going through a messy divorce or something he'd be sympathetic and probably give BJ some leeway, but he doesn't need him now, yk? He'd walk away if he needed to, imo. I don't imagine him giving a whole cathartic speech to BJ about toxic friendships exactly lol, but I think he'd say something about how they're not in Korea anymore and BJ needs to deal with his shit constructively or they can go their separate ways.

Note that my post-war take on Hawkeye is that he's happy, largely mentally healthy, and has a big network of friends. If he's miserable and isolated and borderline suicidal like in a lot of fanon maybe then they could fall right back into weird toxic vibes and Hawkeye would be like 'w/e this might as well happen.' But honestly I don't really vibe with that version of Hawkeye. Considering how many friends he made while falling apart in a warzone I think there's about a hundred percent chance he has a good support network of people when he's back home.

[daz4i]

wait okay. instead of going to sleep like a normal person. here's how I'd change the ages in bsd (for those that have a canon age), bc no one looks their age/it makes the timeline feel weird, i wanna let at least some major past events breathe a little between one another. possibly controversial takes ahead:

atsushi: i like that he's 18 actually. he looks and feels 16 but no yeah 18 works better. I'd say 20-21 would be nice but that'd reallyyyy throw his backstory's timing off unfortunately

dazai: 25

kunikida: around 27-28

ranpo: 28 also, maybe even 29 (his whole thing is that he looks young for his age anyway)

yosano: 28 as well

tanizaki: like. he does look 18. but also 16 and 21 at the same time. i like him as a bit older than atsushi so let's say 19-20, and naomi as well while we're at it

kenji: why is he 14. it's not that he doesn't look 14 it's that i simply did not expect a child to be the muscle in a detective agency. so please make him like at least 16 which is only just slightly better tbh

kyouka: yeah 14 is chill in her case imo. makes her more tragic 👍

katai: 27-29ish as well

fukuzawa: at least in his 50s. maybe 55ish, or even more. he def looks like it and it fits more with having a son in his 20s

akutagawa: i do want him to be older. but making his age gap with atsushi bigger is weird. so keeping him as a 20 y/o it is, maybe 21 at most

chuuya: 25

kouyou: 30s. early 40s even. she is already so milf coded. finding out she's 26 in canon was straight up offensive i swear. come on.

higuchi: 21

tachihara: 22 or 23 maybe? (the hunting dogs don't have canon ages but i like jouno and tecchou as 26ish so that way he's still like the baby of the group)

hirotsu: how is that man 50. make him 65 at least. jfc. the whole point is he's been with the mafia a long time. ik they keep recruiting teenagers for some reason but give me a break. my dad is pushing 70 and looks younger than him

q: actually my issue with them isn't that they don't look their age (tho they do look a bit younger ig) but that timeline wise?? they're so weird?? why did the mafia have a 6 y/o on deck that's just inconvenient for all parties involved. like i can excuse kyouka at 11ish but come ON. at least make them 10 in fifteen. or just bring them in later bc i just realized the timeline doesn't line up with the dazai and chuuya changes otherwise. man idk

odasaku: girl that man was NOT 23 when he died he should've been like at least 27 then

mori: late 40s or early 50s. keep the few years gap from fukuzawa maybe but he should still be older

ango: 29ish in the current timeline. or even 32. idk why but that number feels right.

francis: 45 at least. how is a 32 y/o man supposed to have a daughter old enough to study abroad...

poe: 29

melville: actually he is the only one aged correctly in this entire manga. bestie 🔥🔥🔥🔥

steinbeck: 24. maybe even older

lucy: 20-21ish. same issue as akutagawa really

louisa: 25 at least please 🙏

nathaniel: 34 maybe.

margaret: also early 30s. how the fuck is she 20. like kouyou this is straight up insulting 😭

mark: ageless for he is the spirit of youth and joy (yeah 22 is chill for him actually. he's like the taylor swift song. he'd love that)

mushitaro: tbh I'd make him more around 29 or even older than 30. like he would be a believable 35 y/o to me if needed.

nikolai: actually him being 26 is chill too. tho i wouldn't mind making him around 28-29ish too since i already aged up most 26 y/os so may as well go all the way.

shibusawa: yeah he can stay 29 too idm. i actually didn't know he had a canon age until now. cool!

i think that's everyone who has a canon age (excluding lns bc i haven't gotten to them yet)? aside from sigma maybe but his age is more of a plot device than a fun fact. and fukuchi is implied to be the same age as fukuzawa so, yeah just make them the same in this case too.

i did mess up the timeline myself with this. so lemme clear it up:

The War and the whole thing with mori and yosano still happened when she was 11, so 17 years before canon. that means mori was still in his 20s back then, no big change

untold origins still happened when ranpo was in his teens, honestly we can keep it 14, so 14 years ago, meaning fukuzawa was in his late 30 or early 40s. again not too big of a change I'd say

fifteen happens when. well. dazai and chuuya are 15. ten years ago. i don't want q there get them out of my sight (for now) let them be a kid for a bit!!!!! but yeah like in canon that means the previous boss's murder was a year before, 11 years ago. also while we're at it, stormbringer is also the same aka a year after 15

now this is where we shake things up just a bit. rather than occuring when dazai is 18, i think we can push the dark era to when he's 20 and still maintain the whole childlike thing he has going on there, it's not that big of a difference imo.

that means, 5 years before canon instead of 4, making akutagawa 15 back then, and ango 27 like odasaku.

also yeah q comes in at some point in the middle between those^ I'd say close to dark era than fifteen.

originally i wanted to make skk 26 but this started stretching things even more. bc now we gotta figure out how long dazai spent in hiding. and ig we can keep it 2 years and just make it so his entrance exam was 3 years before canon. again imo not that big of a stretch 🤔

idk why i said this changes the timeline a lot i think this is p simple. also lets ppl stew in their situation for just a bit longer which i like more.

thank you for reading. you are very brave and strong for pulling through. feel free to disagree with my takes but just be nice about it please. I'm also open to hearing other takes if you have any that i didn't consider 🫡 but again just be nice okay?? 🥹

[saturnsorbits]

Good morning! 💕 I slept okay but I really need to fix my sleep schedule! I'm too old to be sleeping at 4 am every night! 😂 How are you doing today?

I thought of Play Away but I didn't say anything because yes, it's kiribaku but it's also different imo! Adding a reader to the mix changes things, I noticed it in a todobaku x reader series I'm reading! When you have just the two characters, their focus is on each other and they sexually like each other! With the reader, the characters usually just want to fuck the same girl and they do it at the same time and in some cases there might be hints that something the other character does, turns them on! In the series I'm reading, it starts that way, the reader is dating both of them separately, they go on dates together but the characters don't like each other so there are no threesomes! But then, as the relationship continues Bakugou and Todoroki find themselves sexually attracted to each other and feelings happen and the whole dynamic changes and I really love that because it just seemed natural and the characters had time to accept that part of themselves! Kinda like Kiribaku in Play Away!

I really liked your Sero threesomes, I believe they were perfectly balanced? Does that make sense? Don't get me wrong tho, I have no problem with the characters just focusing on the reader, it's nice to be the center of attention! 😂 I'm very excited to see how your kiribaku would interact with the reader and with each other! 😏

Omg I completely forgot about IidaMei, they'd be a great couple! I didn't mention IzuOcha because for me, they're already a couple at this point and I'm happy for them! I've never thought about AoyIida tho, that's and interesting ship! 👀

TetsuMina? Hmm I think I'd like TetsuKiriMina a bit better tbh! 😏 ToshInko 100% yes, and EraserMic also yes I guess! I see why people like them together and I love their relationship but I'm also having a hard time liking Mic, he's too loud for me! 😂

Tbh, I'm very picky about who I ship with my faves but for the rest of the cast, I don't care, I like all ships and think they're cute when someone mentions them! Unless it's a character I generally like with a character I can't stand!

-👀

Oh, God. I don’t think I’ve seen 4am since I was 18 😅 I think we should switch sleeping schedules for a bit - it might do us some good 🤣💕

Yeah! That’s what I was thinking… There’s a whole dynamic shift when other characters are worked into the relationship, but I think that’s what makes it interesting - like you said! I think that’s why I’ve been so reluctant to try a KiriBakuReader (Okay, so I just remembered I also wrote a request for Marquie that was technically ‘KiriBaku x Reader’, but that was totally KiriBakuMarq so I’m gonna go ahead and say those two are different things). But, I definitely think you should drop a link for that TodoBaku series tho, in case anyone is interested 👀

Thank you for thinking my Sero threesomes are balanced 🥰 I do try and make them that way. The KiriBakuReader is gonna be interesting bc it plays with private and public station and power dynamics bc of how the characters are brought together? If that makes sense. We’ll see if it works or not.

Yeah, IzuOcha might as well be cannon. I am obsessed with AoyIida 😭 I just think they’d look incredible together and Aoyama would help Iida learn to loosen up a bit while still carrying that ‘uppity-respectable’ air Iida needs?

I’m not a fan of KiriMina 😅 - but I think that’s mostly bc I’m KiriBaku ride or die, so I don’t ship those two with anyone else, but each other! (Even if ‘my’ TetsuMina is a product of a unrequited crush on Kiri that transforms into Tetsu teaching Mina a lot about love and lust and herself). EraserMic is another one that has grown on me bc of context? In my mind their relationship is one born bc of their childhood and how that brought them together as they sought out comfort? But, I get the whole Mic is too loud thing bc honestly, I’d be plugging my ears around him I think.

Totally get what you mean about being a picky shipper tho. I know what I like and I’ve kind of stuck to that? But every now and then someone suggests a ship and it’ll pique my interest!

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[steponmepinkjun]

ok ok these are the Questionable Local Felix rumours ive gathered but i cant stress enough to take this with a Massive grain of salt bc it was never from the source themselves. 1) felix is a weeb and used to call his fav anime girls his waifus. this one i wholeheartedly believe imo i see it. i can feel it. he was probably a mikasa stan. im projecting shut up. 2) he lost his v-card at 14... im not gonna elaborate on that one for obvious reasons, im just gonna say me too bro we livin this whore life together✨3) he was a kik kid. this one is actually confirmed as true mf had his old kik profile pic leaked and it looks like every 12 year old fuckboi wannabe ever its the Funniest thing ever. i cant rmb any of the others but ill come back to you if i do

chan thot wbk we all heard the moaning in the back of tiktok and then theres just wow as a whole. tag yourself im the one bitch who he called pretty during the predebut 3racha live stage of id:a and started screeching belligerently.

literally Dont Even Get Me Started on the whitewashing in the kpop industry. im a tanned skin asian myself and it just makes me ::::'))) they be whitewashing entire videos not just photos and using makeup and skin brightening creams and its horrible. its seriously horrible. ppl often make fun of darker skinned idols too... "hurl a bottle of makeup remover like a molotov cocktail" PLEASEEE that sent me but youre so right for this take tho. men w makeup outsold. like the makeup from the victory song mama stage? UGHHH PLEASE. makeup artist felix when. i literally know nothing about makeup bc im trans and femininity usually makes me dysphoric (but also i wanna get into makeup highkey? i just dont want it to make me look like a girl?) but like i am So Here For It.

anyway here's a thread of unwhitewashed skz for the soul: https://twitter. com/aintcheww/status/1338395728620605440?s=20 and here's a thread of felix's freckles: https://twitter. com/Bllack98/status/1390808708544925696?s=20 as u can see they often only show his cheek freckles but it does down to his ears and theyre adorable. im in love with this man -felix bi anon

I just know in my heart, in my heart of hearts, deep in my soul, that these are all true 😂.🙊 Because if I was gorgeous, talented, charismatic, and ever had even a single occasion to show up in a head-to-toe sky blue suit decked out w the gold rolex, even once, even as a joke, I too would show up to life every day going, "Yeah, I could steal your girlfriend AND your boyfriend in the short moment while the next episode of this fuckin anime is loading. What of it? You can't touch this. Hi, flop 😚" with my fuckin deep ass voice, and then just fuckin dance my lil ass off into the sunset. Would you not, if it was you?! I'd be up in EVERYONE'S dms with the unbearable fuckboy energy, giving that lip bite jaw stroke shit, and STILL winning. STILL serving, as he should 😂 I feel like there is an energy to predbut pics of him that I actually relate to, he just seems (to me) like this very bright, very sensitive kid, kind of not really sure how to channel that and definitely having success in how he's perceived but not really letting his true vulnerability or creativity shine through... And I think that's very much what adolescence is about, I mean they are literally still kids, they are all SO young, I could give them very much "back in my day" lectures as I hobble in with my cane and my bad back and my outdated slang, they're that much Fetuses in my eyes as the resident old ass bitch 😂 but I do relate to the way I feel like as time as gone on his sense of self and confidence in his own abilities and identity has just completely started to shine through, so as someone who sort of looks at all the kids with this benevolent, protective energy as well as acknowledging how fabulous they all are—the way you hype your friends up, like YAAAS BITCH, give it to them! Let them have it! Also I love you and would ride out for you! Very THAT energy—I feel like there's a growth w Felix that is very palpable and is really heartwarming to see. But at the same time I also know deep in my soul that Felix was that kid that worked part time at Abercrombie & Fitch—not Hollister cause Hollister was the broke bitch alternative to A&F if you were a bitch that had money 😂—and would curate the store playlists, be too busy talking w his friends to greet customers, and audibly sigh when someone rifled through the table of denim he just folded immaculately (same bestie 😔) before getting froyo with his work besties in the food court and using it as an opportunity to flex on everyone who didn't have the newest statement tee that he bought w his employee discount. He also defo got the job because he couldve been one of the iconic A&F models himself and always reeks of the cologne they spray on all the clothes in store. And none of that is a read, it is a FACT 😂😭 I also live for Chan giving us whole entire golden retriever energy, as well as exhausted mom of seven no braincell havin ass children, on top of Business Professional, Sickening on the Sales Floor Business Fish, inspiring motivational poster at the dentists office energy, at the same time as SIR WHO TAUGHT YOU TO MOVE LIKE THAT 😳, and then on top of it all whatever that is thats been coming to light on my fyp these days 😳 bitch idk wtf an eshay is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(sidenote I s2g if I was that girl at that show that he called pretty my heart would have leapt out of my chest cavity like it was fuckin fire drill and they would have had to close down the whole venue while they waited for the coroner, I would NOT BE OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

I literally cry at Chan being like "oh no I'm barefaced" like SIR. I want you to go sit in a corner and think about what you've done. I will pick your short ass up by the scruff of your neck and throw you out the damn window. Knowing DAMN WELL they all gorgeous NO FUCKIN FILTER, meanwhile I'm sitting there entombed in blankets like a fuckin earthworm, bags under my eyes like I work at Prada Marfa, body shaped like a refrigerator, adult acne signing into the chat every chance she gets, double AND triple chin reporting for duty, hairline RUNNIN from my face like it's got a warrant, giving very much Danny Devito as The Penguin teas 🙄🙄🙄 like sir I will shove a falcon wing up your fly ass 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Like hello hi hello sir from the uggos, we see you and your crew and REJECT you from the club, none of yall qualify on your worst day, goodbye, dismissed, case adjourned, bring in the dancing lobsters 🙄 if I was that pretty YOU COULDN'T TELL ME SHIT. I would be UNTOUCHABLE. Idk man I mean like I see the difference in the beauty standard socially, but I hope that tide turns and shit changes, it makes me sad and it's so harmful.

I always felt a little out of place in the makeup world because, at the time, when I was coming up trying to learn shit it wasn't like it is now where there's respect for creative freedom and there's a niche for every style. It was like, if you wanted to learn to do makeup, there was a Right Way to do it and that meant worshiping Kevin Aucoin and Bobbi Brown books like the bible and making every look the standard of Flawless, Effortlessly Eurocentric Youth-Fetishizing 90's Supermodel Minimalism. I wanted to create looks that felt inspired and were performance art and statement pieces, my personal aspiration with my looks was that like... I wanted to achieve something beyond the banal of being human. I wanted to look like a fucking alien, I wanted people to see my makeup and go "I don't know what the fuck that is but it's confusing and scary and I am feeling Emotions about it" but there wasn't room for that, not in the spaces I found online but especially not in the irl world of makeup around me. I saw makeup and fashion as a tool to take control of the way the world experienced me, I wanted to transcend the petty rules of peoples perceptions of me, but... Idk. I wish I could rediscover that passion for makeup as a medium and the human body as a canvas, but... Idk. I'm a tired old bitch now and I can't be bothered anymore. I don't even wanna be perceived at this point and any form of self expression that falls short of an invisibility cloak is falling short of the goal lmfaoooooooo 😂 ugh how depressing! Not the mood. But ANYWAYS I completely live for the boys and in my head Felix is literally four inches tall and could fit into my shirt pocket, I mentally picture him as the epitome of Pampered Smol, and no one can convince me otherwise, the boy is Tiny, a Petito, a Micro, a Wee Bern. If I even begin to approach the absolute hysteria that thinking of Lee Felix Ear Freckles would cause me I will absolutely collapse and once I am revived with smelling salts I will need to be sent to the seaside for the season to recover 👌

[toxicpineapple]

Please give me your amami essay, I'd like to know the TEA! I was also gonna ask for the mastermind essay, but honestly I REALLY wanna hear your thoughts on his characterization (and your thoughts on his shitty fanon characterization)

HOOO BOY OKAY. this is good, it gives me an excuse to procrastinate on reading that new amasai fic on the latest feed. (note that i REALLY WANT TO READ IT, i’m just anticipating commenting and tbh the spoons,,, i lack them. it’s okay though i’ll get over it.)

so!!! let’s start with general attitude, because i think that amami’s is really unique. he’s a subversive character. in general i feel like that was the biggest goal with his character design and personality combination-- he looks like a total playboy, kaede even comments as much moooore than once. but he’s the absolute opposite. i’ll rant about that in a bit. i’ve already gone off on a tangent and i said i was gonna talk about attitude.

amami is laid back, but not to the point of complacency. y’know what i mean? like, he’s relaxed, but he’s on his guard, too. his speaking style is pretty casual (typically he’ll greet people with a “hey,” whenever he’s slightly uncomfortable he’ll probably say “haha”... this isn’t necessarily a canon thing but i like it when people have him talking in sentence fragments. ex. “forgot to grab my jacket” or “wanted to get a snack” sort of thing) and that’s just,,, the type of person he is. he’s casual. it’s remarkable considering how wealthy amami is-- though bear in mind, he still IS wealthy, so there are bound to be things he doesn’t understand about people-- that he can be so normal and like, down to earth, in a way. when people mess around with him he’ll probably just laugh it off.

to cite a fic i read once that had REALLY phenomenal characterisation, imo, ouma ends up dumping a bucket of water on amami’s head (on accident; there are some semantics and i won’t get into it but again the fic is really good and funny and you should totally read it) and amami just squeezes out his shirt and makes a couple cracks before walking away. (sorry this isn’t meant to be a “dumping love on fics” post but GOD that fic is hysterical.) he’s an enabler too, at least i think so-- remember that anthology chapter where kaede, shuichi, and kaito are trying to catch ouma and kaito sets an “amami trap” to stop him? all ouma has to do is flutter his eyelashes and go “pleeeaaase let me go amam~niichan!” and then he just. he does. what a fucking doormat i can’t believe him.

he’s like that though. i feel like big brother stuff is kind of his weakness. (and not in a kinky way alright i will destroy you. he might make a joke about having a sister complex in one of his ftes but he DOESNT that joke was just tasteless COME ON RANTARO WHFKLDSJFK) which brings me to his whole older brother thing, because like,,, YEAH. guy grew up with twelve younger sisters!!! and he remarked in his ftes with shuichi that they’re mostly step sisters, which means he just.... has a nurturing personality. i mean amami is somewhat conservative (if you try to come on to him during salmon mode you will be brutally rebuffed; amami tells u to keep your horny thoughts to yourself, though you shouldn’t be ashamed of having them) so i imagine he’s not the biggest fan of his father’s tendencies-- not that i don’t NECESSARILY interpret his father’s behaviour as him sleeping around.... it’s possible he just likes children and deliberately marries women who already have kids so he can take them... i mean it’s exceedingly decent to keep considering ur step children to be your children after a divorce so i have a hard time reconciling this common image of rantaro’s dad as some kind of player figure with the impression i got of him in my head but that’s just my daddy issues coming into play again so ignore me-- and yet he still considers all his sisters to be his sisters.

not to mention he feels a great deal of like, responsibility, when it comes to taking care of them. i find it impossible to believe that all the losses were his fault. you could ARGUE that the one he tells you about with his younger sister was to be blamed on him? but i mean, amami is a child. he didn’t even know his sister was following him out. sure he blames himself for it but there’s no real good way to blame him just considering that,,, he’s a kid. and he was so young-- he was obviously so young-- when it happened. so like, not to be all Good and Bad on you, but i do feel that amami is fundamentally a good reason. and you SEE that too, in the killing game. i’m certain he was on the fence about trusting that note he woke up with. would you trust it? he had no memory whatsoever of writing it, all he had were the words “ultimate hunt” and a map of the school to guide his way. i imagine he wasn’t even sure if he should do what the note said. but then ryoma started talking about sacrificing himself for everyone else, and rantaro probably thought, “well... if i have a way to get us out of here, even if it doesn’t work, i can’t just let ryoma sacrifice himself without having tried.”

rantaro is self-reliant too, i think. in the talent development plan mukuro remarks that she noticed he was injured a good number of times, but never said anything about it because she felt like he was trying to keep it under wraps. (note: good idea for an amami and mukuro friendship fic. must write. someone remind me.) i think amami kind of feels isolated from his classmates? either because he has these perceived notions of like, independence and whatever, not burdening anybody else with his problems (honestly not to go chabashira on main but wtf men ask for help c’mon i promise if you find a person who’s worth being in ur life they won’t treat you like shit for feeling ur feelings) or just because he’s not around a lot. i think amami is the type of person to invalidate his own problems a lot, or at least downplay them to others. he blames himself for all his sisters going missing, took the responsibility to find them all. you know the blow that’s going to be to his education? traveling around the world looking for twelve different people? and he plans to keep doing that!!! forever!!! ugh ;-; poor babey. but anyway i feel like he doesn’t want to tell anybody about his problems because he feels like it’s his thing to deal with.

i also believe that rantaro is a bit prideful. i mean, anyone can be prideful under the correct circumstances, and in fact there is a great deal of pride that simply isn’t addressed by the fandom in analysing characters and that makes me really sad because pride is such a SEXY character flaw but i’ll leave that alone for now. he hates being told to give up on what he’s doing. i mean everyone in his life has been telling him to stop looking for his sisters. that’s got to suck, but also, DAMN look at what his reaction was. this utter refusal to open up to anybody. shuichi’s ftes with him are spent pretty much just trying to get amami to stop squirreling around and actually TALK to him. amami asks shuichi at one point if he has any siblings and when the response is negative, amami immediately assumes that shuichi wouldn’t understand, would tell him to quit. just like everyone else.

(i mean, even with kiyo and mukuro, whose circumstances mirror his almost painfully at least in willingness to sacrifice stuff for their siblings, he doesn’t tell them what he’s doing, just that he’s doing it for his sister-- singular-- and that he would do anything for her. kiyo and mukuro!! out of ANYBODY, they would understand. in tdp they DO talk about it-- kiyo encourages him to keep searching-- as his friend...... fuck amaguji is such a good ship even if the implications of kiyo saying he wants to meet rantaro’s sister after he finds her bc she must be suuuuch a good person if he’s doing all this for her are uhhh not great-- and mukuro immediately understands when he says it’s to do with his younger sister. like, full stop. she just goes “okay” and goes serious. all at once. damn rantaro, mukuro, and kiyo really do be a power trio huh. i need to write more fic about them i miss them.)

this is more into baseless conjecture so take this as you will, but i also think rantaro is kind of,,, easily distracted lmao. he mentions helping out a village with a disease-- been a while since i’ve seen his ftes, sorry for any inconsistencies-- among other shit and like... bro what are you DOING. you have sisters to find. and he can’t be getting injured all the time, getting wrapped up with gang violence and all that, looking for people who were lost traveling. i mean sure, you could say they went all over the world and got wrapped up in all sorts of mess, but more likely they stayed in roughly the same area, waiting for him to come back. and also? i have a hard time believing his sisters were lost in these remote forest places people always put them. COME ON, who the fuck goes to some village for a vacation? a RICH person no less. i’m on another tangent. sorry. but yeah, i love the people who write rantaro as an absolute airhead. i headcanon that he has no way of judging the passing of time and thus is the absolute worst in the bathroom bc he sits there for twenty minutes thinking about the universe and then walks out like “:) ok ready to go” like wtf are you even doing there stupid akljdf anyway.

i think rantaro is softhearted and thoughtful. in his ftes with kaede he demonstrates an ability to look past what people show at surface level-- you can ask him about miu, kiibo, or kiyo and he’ll give u Good Fucking Insight(tm)-- and analyse their intentions more closely. and i mean this is just from a couple day’s interaction. he’s down to earth for sure, understanding when people are intimidated but also caring and observant. (his “talk about a first impression” line is so fuckaindgf.... good for his characterisation. i love romantic amamatsu but he so clearly takes an older brother role in those ftes, he’s really such a sweetheart,,,, hnadhfkj ;w;) rantaro is just. he’s patient with people. and selfless and kind. idk it’s all the good stuff. warm smiles and indulgence. all the way. probably lets kokichi steal his lunch.

THAT BEING SAID: i think rantaro also has a very serious streak. he doesn’t show it a lot but there are moments. he’s self-sacrificing-- i mean, obviously. he was the ultimate survivor, after all. some people hc that he got there by killing, or maybe everyone else in his game died but one person, but bro that doesn’t make any sense???? no. what happened was there were probably like three people left, and monokuma was like “one has to be sacrificed” and rantaro thought, welp. it’ll be me then. and i wouldn’t say the choice would be immediate because rantaro DOES has self preservation instincts-- he’s only human-- but i don’t think he’d have let anybody else make that decision. i think ultimately he would try to protect other people.

he can be scarily confrontational too. i do believe he’d usually only do it in the defense of others-- like, his base instinct is to protect. i read a fic once (oumami, unfortunately) where ouma was committing crimes and went to hide behind rantaro and rantaro instinctively moved to protect him, and that’s.... that’s good characterisation. point one to the oumami stans, point zero to me. motherfucker. (love u oumami stans, it’s just not my thing.) i really like it in fics when he’s stern, lecturing people for hurting other people, but i also think rantaro is too understanding to be truly unforgiving. like if two people got into an argument and one came out of it more hurt than the other, i don’t believe that amami would be unsympathetic to the less hurt one. i think he’s mature enough to take a look at the situation and go, well, okay.

i think he’d be TERRIFYING when angry. he’s patient, y’know? so it takes a lot to get him to that point. he’s really, ah, accommodating of people. puts up with a lot of bs kind of thing. but i imagine the best way to get him to snap is by hurting someone he cares about. and at that point: ur fucked. i’ve never written it before because i’m terrified of what i’d do with that kind of power but.... imagine the shuichi whump. holy god.

i’m NOT here to talk about shuichi whump (though i’m down to do that any time of day believe me) so i’m gonna like. shhhhiiiiiiffft.

i project on characters a lot so at this point it’s difficult to distinguish if some of my characterisation things are like, actually characterisation things? or just me venting, so like, take nothing i say as canon, but also,,, akdsjf we love a man who bottles up his emotions.

because rantaro just doesn’t have the TIME to be crying all over the place. he was probably a total wreck when he lost his first sister. and his second. and maybe even his third. but then he started to gather his composure, more and more. because if there’s anything that rantaro has in excess, it’s composure. the more losses he suffers the more of a shield he builds up. and the self hatred and the guilt and the blame and the responsibility are piling up and up and up, but god he hates it when other people see him sad, because he needs to be the strong one, he can’t just pile that up on other people. that’s not their weight to carry, and besides, he’s the older brother, he should be able to deal with his own problems. he’d just be burdening the people he cares about by letting them see his demons.

and then he doesn’t have any coping mechanisms because he never lets himself feel enough to cope, and when people get close enough to actually CARE about him, when people notice he’s upset or struggling and offer him help, he doesn’t know how to deal with it-- and god he hates lashing out at people but it’s so much easier to deal with the consequences of being mean than the consequences of breaking down. only conflict is scary when he’s one of the causes so he needs time to recover, and well, what better way to do that than to get on a plane or a boat and go look for his sisters? after all he’s wasting time whenever he’s just sitting around, they’re still out there and he needs to find them, so might as well just keep pushing himself to the limits, because it’s his fault they’re lost anyway...

something mukuro said to rantaro in the talent development plan stuck in my brain. like, initially it’s just a funny and cute interaction (rantaro even blushes and a blushing rantaro is a GOOD FUCKING RANTARO) but when i thought about it more i was like.... huh. hm. angst ideas. mukuro makes a joke about rantaro going over to her stand at the festival to flirt with her-- i think that’s the context, i know it’s play-boy related-- and rantaro assures her (as he always does) that he’s not that kind of guy, and mukuro agrees, saying she was just pulling his leg and that he seems like the kind of person who gets dumped because he doesn’t show his emotions enough. rantaro laughs, blushes, and says “haha, not touching that one,” and akdjfnnnnnn god mukuro you’re so blunt i love you fkdjf but wow. i usually have rantaro as not having dated anyone, just because i feel like he kind of hyperfocuses on finding his sisters? and given that he’s like sixteen (seventeen at the MOST) there’s not much of a timeline for when his sisters got lost. in my fic search i had to cram all the losses into a four-year period and damn that was rough. anyway i just don’t think he’d really prioritise romance. but that reaction implies that that’s EXACTLY his experience with romance, which makes a bit of sense because mukuro is ridiculously sharp, and also it’s,, it’s just sad idk poor rantaro. getting dumped because he’s like the emotional equivalent of a doorknob when it comes to his own feelings.

i do think rantaro is a bit cowardly. not in the sense that he’d shy away from danger-- i think he’d RUSH INTO IT HEAD FIRST because he’s a man or whatever, i know he respects women but he does seem to hold some of those very stereotypically masculine ideals of constantly protecting those around him, which is like.... ok toxic masculinity mcgee can u and kaito stop throwing hands every time u see each other ty-- but more in the sense that he avoids,,, confrontation. emotional confrontation just ain’t his thing. and i think he’d rather run away from it or otherwise find some way of ignoring it than try to address his problems.

he would, with that in mind, probably try to associate with people who don’t push the matter. kiyo and mukuro, for example. they both have a fair amount of baggage themselves so they’d probably be respectful. ryoma is lowkey enough that he just, he wouldn’t bring that shit up, that’s uncool. i also think rantaro would get along REALLY WELL with kaito, and i actually don’t think kaito would pull his sidekick stuff with him? just because in a way they’re kind of kindred spirits, and i think kaito would see an ally in rantaro before seeing someone to try to nurture, so they’d probably have some kind of a truce like, if you don’t force me to be vulnerable, i won’t force you. one of the reasons why i love amamota so much is because it involves the two of them growing to care about each other beyond that sort of unhealthy camaraderie and breaking down each other’s barriers and i just..... hhnnfhhdkfj they could be so good for each other but nobody wants to talk about thatjslfkj

you weren’t asking for my amamota mess lmao sorry anon i get sidetracked SO easily. but yeah, amami gravitates towards people who wouldn’t try to get him to be more honest with himself. and i honestly think the v3 cast would be pretty good about that overall, except for shuichi who is a detective and has a habit of sticking his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but i see no reason to write that out because amami’s ftes already display that beautifully. (well, that’s a lie, i’m absolutely plotting out a slowburn in my head already that involves shuichi stripping down his walls one by one, but forget about all of that rn we don’t need to talk about why amasaimota is my ot3.) also he is softer on childish people like ouma and himiko. ain’t nobody wants to TALK TO ME about how brilliant it would be if rantaro and hiyoko were friends because hiyoko has such problems in that department and he would take one look at her and go hm. i’m adopting her. and he’s so fucking patient and nice and she’d lose the will to make fun of him and i have to do ALL THE GODDAMN WORK AROUND HERE but it’s fine. at least i get to write it.

i’ve described the fundamentals of his characterisation pretty well by now i think. i have some throwaway headcanons, like uhh,,

he’s claustrophobic

plays the guitar and the ukulele

he prefers warm weather and perishes in the cold

high pain tolerance

he’s a Good Cook

doesn’t like sex jokes (they make him uncomfortable)

asexual (i do like a good demisexual hc at all times of day tho)

master of piggyback rides

does his own piercings

impulsive as hell

gets lost easily but can always find his way back

has a lot of scars from travels

hands are rough and calloused (again from travels)

morning person

smells like evergreen (you know i had to, you know i did)

Radiates Heat Like A Fucking Toaster Oven

good hugs

hates tying his shoelaces

likes being the big spoon :)

has a tongue piercing

i said “some throwaway headcanons” but i ended up listing way more than i mean to. i’ll make a separate list of my rantaro headcanons someday and talk about them all in detail but for now, uh, there’s that.

SO AS FOR THE RANTARO CHARACTERISATIONS I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE:

god where to fucking begin. actually i know exactly where to begin. it’s my least favourite one just because, like i said at the very beginning, rantaro is a subversive character. i mean i think he’s kind of a low hanging fruit when it comes to that. there are plenty of other subversive characters in the dr series but rantaro is like that. you expect a flirt and u get,,, a sweetheart. but then some people (usually the ones who ship him with female characters exclusively though i will see it on occasion in an amasai or oumami fic) decide to throw that out the window and make him a total playboy!! and listen, i have no problem with people who are a little flirty. we’re kids!! flirt ur heart out!!! and hey, that’s not what this is about but y’know what? so long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual, then yeah!! exercise your sexual freedom and sleep with whoever you want to!!! i don’t think there’s anything wrong with messing around a little, dating who u wanna and experimenting with ur tastes and preferences. if rantaro WAS a playboy, then there would be nothing wrong with that. i would love him just the same because he’s such a fundamentally GOOD character.

except that.... he’s.......... NOT. you slaughter one of the biggest aspects of his character by throwing away what matters to him and making him some hunky-deep-voice-dreamboat dude meant to sweep kaede/tsumugi/whomsteverthefuck off her feet. rantaro is one of those characters where he’s so blatantly not that kind of person, and it’s like. it’s an affront, almost, to portray him that way? and i do believe you should have the freedom to write what you want, since we’re in that age (aside from romanticised pedophilia and incest; that shit ain’t cute, i say this often but pro-ship DNI) where u should be able to take some liberties, but it’s just. hnnn. it’s so frustrating. rantaro does not know how to smolder! if he DID smolder, he wouldn’t even realise he was doing it. he doesn’t have people lying at his feet, okay? he’s too flaky for that. i wouldn’t say he’s unreliable but he definitely ain’t at school as much as he should be.

another one that i hate: st-stalker? what the fuck? that is not sexy that is creepy and weird?

another another one that i hate: yandere? what the FUCK??? that is not sexy that is glorified ABUSE???? the yandere trope is AWFUL bc you’re taking a controlling relationship and turning it into a fetish. NO. if he limits ur contact with other people, if he follows u everywhere, if he threatens ur loved ones, if he tries to control you, ladies and gents and nonbinaries, he’s not a yandere, he’s an abuser and you need a fucking restraining order. actually, people of ANY gender or sex can perpetuate this behaviour and IT IS NOT CUTE. I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT BOUNDARIES U SET IN PLACE, IF YOUR FREEDOM IS BEING RESTRICTED THAT IS ABUSE.

hate it when people make rantaro violent. hate it when people make rantaro a murderer. hate it when people make rantaro controlling. hate it when people make rantaro overtly sexual. some kind of sultry deep voice dominant kind of figure. dude, what the fuck? i don’t,, want to make any public comments about sex positions because i think that’s kind of Strange to just talk about on a post, but i do think that the way people portray him for their smuts is,,, idk it’s weird. i’m not gonna kinkshame u but like. :eyes:

i will however accept rantaro as a thrillseeker, or a highstrung rich boy, or a total space cadet, or a himbo, or a cryptid. these are all very good interpretations of the Mans. just, like. be wary of making him two dimensional. a good character is multifaceted. if you can take a trait that clashes with all of these and SELL ME ON IT, i will buy it. if u give me good justifications, or even just good writing?? then i will accept it.

the long and the short of it is, anon, he’s my favourite so i think about him a lot. i love writing rantaro. he’s just, he’s a Guy. y’know? He’s A Good Dude, If You’ll Give Him A Shot. :) we don’t get to see very much of him but i think that there’s plenty of material if you overanalyse everything, which, as you probably all know by now,,,, i absolutely do.

thank you for the ask, this was a delight to spend an hour talking about.

[phoebehalliwell]

I don't really like Phole as a ship but I think Cole as a character had a lot of potential and I'm mad that it was never, at any point, handled well. so I'm curious, how would you have rewritten Cole's story so that he might still be redeemable and a character you can root for? granted, you would probably have to rewrite it from the very beginning but I'd love to hear your thoughts if you're up for it

yeah cole is like a very difficult character to work with bc in charmed evil isn’t a thing you do it’s a thing you are, and if you’re a demon, congratulations! you’re evil. But we did get brendan rowe in season one who was like a warlock but was trying to not be a warlock and again it’s this human half that is a loophole in the black and white morality clause and he got to be a good person in the end. the difference between brendan and cole was that brendan refused to take anothers life (extending this to bugs too??) and moved to become a man of the cloth to escape evil’s hold on him. cole on the other hand actively worked to surpress his human half and spent like over a hundred years being undeniably evil. so like. have you even given us a character worth redeeming? the countless lives he’s stolen and evil he’s brought to the world..... it’s a lot to undo. and that’s always really been the main source of my beef with cole is that he was undeniably a horrible person for OVER A HUNDRED YEARS. like the body count man. it’s really difficult to make him a good person. it’s really difficult. it’s not not doable, but it has to be a grueling processes and really explore who he was who he is and who he’s trying to become. when never really got much acknowledgement of any of that (who he was: belthazor. who he is: cole. there’s a difference (?) he’s in love with phoebe. who he’s trying to be: a good person so phoebe stays in love with him. it’s so surface level man it’s i don’t i don’t like it)

and like i’ve been think about demon redemption arcs a fair amount bc i definitely want to throw a demon character into my fic i’ve got my ideas and lil plans and all that but like it’s still like. really difficult to justify the taking of a human life to those sworn above all to protect it. i’m not objectively against characters who have killed people. but if you want to integrate a character who has killed people into charmed?? honey you’ve got a big storm coming. and honestly? the easiest strategy is to ignore it. chris killed a valkyrie in the s6 premiere (three valkyries??) and rather than attempt to justify the cold blooded murder of good beings, the show just ignored it. which, imo, was the best strategy for that situation (and then went on to sprinkle in him being disgusted/scared/horrified of bianca shanking a demon in chris crossed to show him sorta as this morally good figure, in hopes that we had forgotten that he had done worse. and uhh i think we all did!! i did at least). phoebe & paige are technically responsible for the death of rick the criminal, turning him into chris knowing Full Well he would be killed by demons, when they could have easily just orbed his ass back to prison. how to we deal with this? we don’t. so like, quick fix on cole’s redemption arc? cut black as cole. turn a blind eye to his past. leave it in the shadows. pretend like he’s never killed anybody. if they wanted to redeem cole this is the easiest way and in no manner stands against the moralities they have already set up. but if you wanna do it proper

cut the age gap. having cole already over 100 just leaves to much murky area. it’s also like never used in any interesting way like he never is like oh yeah [cool/important event] i was there he’s just sorta. old. for no reason. so get rid of it. just make him thirty. don’t make him an upper level demon. you can make him the son of an upper level demon so he has upper level demon qualities / powers, but having him essentially the source’s right hand man, a legendary demon and all that,, it’s just. there’s no way you hold that position without being cruel beyond words. evil in ways you can imagine. getting incredibly creative with how horrible you can truly be. you’ll never get a character like that as a “good guy”. they can be sick as fuck antiheroes or morally neutral/dubious characters, but if they’ve already committed that much evil, you can’t get them to be good. especially not charmed ones good. so like, you can have him half demon, but don’t make him a good demon. have him be raised by his human father until he’s captured and taken in by demons. he has a strong survival instinct and works to blend in with other demons, but he’s always secretly working for an escape. he’s charismatic and clever so demons like him, but they do sort of regard him as a bit of a coward, because he’s never actually killed anybody. so when he volunteers to kill the charmed ones, everyone considers it a bit of a joke. but he comes to them with a strategy. he’s human, and while that might be a weakness, it can also be a strength. he knows how to act human, he knows how they work. he can blend in, and work his way into the lives of the charmed ones like no demon ever could. so the demons are like okay. i’ll bite. but first you need to prove your mettle. kill somebody and we’ll approve your mission. and cole’s like okay bet bc he’s like i bet i can find somebody shitty and then, once i’m approved for the mission, i can actively work my way into the lives of the charmed ones and then get protection from them. and the demons are like oh lit bc we have the perfect person for you to kill and cole’s like oh uh i thought i’d just go out and kill somebody and the demons are like no need : ) we already grabbed the guy you can kill him right now : ) and cole turns around and his father is dragged in. so now we have this moral complexity because cole only wants to do this so he can be safe, so he can be human, but at the expense of his father’s life? and it’s this moral conflict and it seems like he will and then it seems like he won’t and then he looks into his father’s eyes and he seems not fear or desperation, but acceptance. and cole does it.

and now it’s more important than ever that his mission succeeds, because if he can’t gain the charmed ones favor, if he can’t gain their protection, then his father died for nothing. he killed his father for nothing. so he poses as a da, bc that’s obviously a good guy, right? he can work with the charmed ones, as a good guy, until they trust him and work with him and then he can come to them begging protection, after he’s already established himself as a someone who’s good. and he doesn’t actively seek a relationship with phoebe bc he’s worried that if he enters a relationship with a charmed one and then reveals himself as a demon, it won’t go over well. so he’s still at war with himself with his relationship with phoebe, but in the end, he caves, because he loves her.

after he reveals himself as a demon, begging himself for the charmed ones protection, prue is ready to kick his ass, because he’s a demon, and demons are intrinsically evil. they’ll to whatever it takes to achieve their goal, kill whoever they need to to get what they want. and cole sours at this because he can’t help but remember his father. he killed him to get what he wants. is prue right? but phoebe’s like no, he’s good, i know him, he’s good. but now cole’s really like, am i? and phoebe’s like i love you and i believe you and i trust you but now cole’s pulling away. and we get to see proper emotional turmoil over this and his evil act and he has to grapple with the death of his father and he has to tell phoebe what he did and then she is properly horrified but she loves him and he loves her and they commune with his father’s spirit blah blah blah his dad forgives him tells him he’s proud he made it out and he wants what’s best for him so on and so forth and then he uses his insider info on the demon world to help the charmed ones everyone lives happily ever after

[crystu-cii]

OF COURSE!!!! I'd say you're hella close to it!!! Definitely closer than I am XDD 💖💞💝💕💝❤️💕💕❤️ A G R EED /hj XDD

Yeah ;w; oohh that sounds super interesting!! I can understand not pursuing a story tho, stories are d i f f icult-- XD fun, but difficult, and you need an attention span for them! (Why do you think I only write one page stories??)

OMS yessss that's so accurate tho-- like I haven't changed much if I'm being honest (I spend a LOT of time inside.. XD) awww-- I can understand that- in japan we didn't have a backyard, so I stopped going outside much at all-- occasionally I biked to convenience stores or walked to vending machines, that was cool, but no backyard :/ having no backyard sUCks, like where am I supposed to scream into the void?? INSIDE?? /j

OMS-- CRYS XDD what a Mood™ tho- "oh I'm gonna continue this thing!!" *does something else entirely*

XDD It was done Against My Will™ (get Against My Will on the album I Haven't Awoken Well Rested Since I Was A Child by the band The Bags Under My Eyes Aren't Makeup! XD) MOOD-- I spent the quarantine summer doing nothing but staying up until the sun rose and sleeping until it was at its peak- where did the time goooo

I AGREE HOW DARE HE- LIKE EXCUSE?? YOU TINY HEATHEN??? anyways now I'm trying to go back to squirting him with a squirt bottle to startle him(even tho he's a fan of water, the harsh spray startles him) but anyways thank you crysss I'm never getting a cat in my life now bc of this rude child (dogs are superior anyways /hj)

(and now time to reply to the OTHER ask cause I'm efficient and not going to send two separate asks to respond to things that can be responded to at the same time.. ....why did I even ramble about that wtf henry(huh I never refer to myself by name that felt weird))

Okay!! No worries dude, you can always take your time with replies, I just don't trust tumblr XD 💞❤️💕💝💝💖💕❤️💖 of course!!! Thank you!!! 💖💕💕💖💞💕

Oooh!!! That sounds super fun!!! Man I miss hanging out with my friends-- but my closest friend(lives in my neighborhood) has a parent who works in other people's houses, so high risk, and the rest live several hours away :)) but anyways yeah that sounds hella!!!! I love that y'all were just like "okay well. we're gonna hang out anyways." XDD

Aww-- I'm glad you are!! My brother and his bf were supposed to come but I think we have to postpone that cause someone in his workplace tested positive for covid :( YESS FOODDDD-- oooh cheesecake?? I've never heard of having it on Thanksgiving!! Usually we have pumpkin, cherry, apple, and pecan pies!! (We're having pumpkin and cherry ones this yeah!! Two pumpkin pies, a cherry pie, and a cherry cobbler--) I... Have never heard of pineapple pie in my life! Sounds like it would make pineapple-on-pizza haters burst into tears tho--

YOURE WHAT-- CRYS YOU HEATHEN IT IS NOVEMBER!!!!! /j I can't stand Christmas music, being a choir student made me not be a huge fan of it-- too much Christmas music.. ugh. (Straight no chaser is tolerable at least. And Pentatonix. And covers by artists I like. But if I have to hear Jingle Bells ONE MORE TIME--) YESSS BESTOW UPON ME THOU'S PRESENCE AND PRESENTS... Ooh nice!! Pfft XDD Yess- I have multiple on my wishlist-- mostly for the switch-- OMS I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T ASK FOR THSC-- MAYBE IM THE HEATHEN--

Okay, it's January 5th! Literally not even two weeks after Christmas-- Feel free to scream happy birthday at me :3 XDD now I'm curious, what's yours?

awhhh thank you ;w;; 💕💞💕💞💞💕💞

and legiT- and omg- also what i do a lot is thinking i have a story all in control but then i realise that i only focused on the main parts and nOT the transitions and all that shit and then i end up last minute thinking them- XDD and ngl one page stories sound SOO much better- imo- not just for writing- but for reading as well- whenever i go to see a fanfic I always read the ones that has one chapter- dunno how to fully explain it- possibly cause its satisfying to see a story actually have its end other than a long lasting series that will never end- XDD oneshots are my FUEL

buT WoW omg this topic has now made me realise how i barely go outside- XDD i wish there would be other thingd around my neighborhood other than a "park" that has DEAD GRASS and the sprinklers go off like every hour for some reason- duNNo what the builders were thinking but i guess i dont mind- i stay in my house a whOLELE lot xD

and YESS IT GETS ME EVERYTIME- "hey lets draw-" *-WRITES-* XDD AND ABHAHAHAHA (NOW ON YOUR LOCAL MUSIC STORES- XDDDD) and omG MEEE- the times i would usually sleep would be around 3 am to 6 am- ironically my mom has a more screwed up schedule than i do- and SHE STILL HAS- last night she told me that she hasnt slept in 48 HOURSSS- MaMAAA PLEASE SLEEP

GO AWAY CAT HEATHEN- XD and omG a squirt bottle of water yes XDD and awh i definitely understand now how youll not get a cat- sounds like a hecka pain ;0;; i never even had a pet before (or not that i would recall- oh wait i think i had fish but i have an embarrassing story that made my mom ban fish from the household- OH MAN the shame)

and yeahh oh man- i hope you are okay with all these topics XDD and thank you!! 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞

awwhh i see- i wish you can hang out with your friends without it being too risky! that reminds me of that one time where my friend said "hey so uh you guys can hang out at my house since at my parent's workplace someone was positive for covid" and then immeadiately after they were like "SO WE NEED TO GO TO ONE OF YOUR GUYS' HOUSE" and Im LIKE- UH- NOO??? nOt AfTEr you just say THAT- nuh uh- thankfully we didnt hang out that day- better safe than sorry xD

and omggg those pies sound AWWESOMEEEE- i always wanted to try pumpkin pie before but when i asked my mom that she was like "nO iTS diSGusTing" and im like "*visible confusion*" and lOwKEY SAME- pineapple pie just sounds a bit off but my mom was really hyped to make it xD i'd actually say its not that bad! but im still not a fan of pineapple so uhhh xD (aNd YEAH IT DOES feel like it would make those haters cry-- XDD)

and PFHAOHFA IM A LIVING HEATHEN- XDD omg at this time of year- it gets CRAZYY for me- first off- Tree is a true filipino- right when it was the first day october- youd hear them say "FUCK HALLOWEEN"(and id just whine to them like "BUT HALLOWENENENEN") and then their family set up a whole christmas tree and over-the-top decorations- and omg- if you hate christmas music- you would despise the philippines sO MUCH- when the FIRST day of SEPTEMBER hits- CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON ALLLLL THE STORES- it will drive you WILDDD ( yeah its actually a normal filipino thing- not that i ever went to the philippines myself at tHAT time of year- but my friends and family tell me all about it- filipinos are the true christmas maniacs XDDD)

and awhhh choir must be a pain ;0;;; that would remind me how on one concert- the beginners class of choir screamed on purpose even though they werent supposed to- the teacher got so pissed XDDD and YESSS PRESENTSSSS- and awh man- i actually dont own ANY consoles at all- so the only things i can ask for is steam games- last year for christmas i got just shapes and beats- which was WORTHHH

and oo YAY- now i shall mark that on my calander- XD and mine is february 7!