#but you know i'll hold out hope

[astarlightmonbebe]

the atypical family is everything so far. they better do the father-daughter relationship justice.

[deoidesign]

.

[celestialecho]

🌦️&💤

on childhood best friends.

via ill give you the sun by jandy nelson // via the art of ponyo by hayao miyazaki // jack johnson, we're going to be friends // a message from my childhood best friend // mitski, i guess // via a little life by hanya yanagihara // adventure time, island song (come along with me) // via unknown // abba, chiquitita

[amethystina]

Hi hi, I was drooling all over the tags of Who holds the devil again and I remembered to ask if the kidnapping will refer to Ga On? Or if it's a big spoiler then maybe you could please tell if we'll see protective Yo Han because you write his feelings so well I just can't get enough or over it, you're so talented.

I wouldn't call it a big spoiler, exactly, since I think most people can (correctly) guess that it refers to Ga On xD I mean, what kind of BL fanfic would this be if it was someone else? Gotta check all those dramatic romance boxes!

That said, I will repeat what I've said before, which is that it won't happen anytime soon and, if I were you, there are other tags I would be more worried about. But that's just me ;)

As for Yo Han being protective, that will feature quite heavily as a part of another plot thread long before the kidnapping tag comes into play. And I do mean protective as in full-on Abyss — with all the violence and ruthlessness that entails. To be honest, one of the scenes I look forward to writing the most right now is the culmination of that whole plotline. Partly because writing Yo Han when he's like that is so much fun, but also because Ga On will do what Ga On does best.

That's to say: Place himself in front of Yo Han and be the immovable object to slow down the unstoppable force.

And it will be delicious.

Because with all that Ga On has learned about Yo Han at that point, he's going to realise that the best way to calm Yo Han's desire for vengeance — and remind him of his humanity — isn't to get preachy or aggressive and demand he stop. It's to go soft and vulnerable and needy and a little desperate and just say:

"Please come back to me."

... I think we ALL know Yo Han won't stand a fucking chance.

So you've got that to look forward to, I guess ;)

And thank you so much! I have a lot of fun with Yo Han's emotions, not going to lie. He's got a pretty unique way of both showing and dealing with them and it's particularly interesting to try and convey that from an outside POV (Ga On's in this case). Because even if Ga On is correct in his observation the majority of the time, there are still times when he misses certain details. He often gives Yo Han the benefit of the doubt when he maybe shouldn't, for example x'D

Like, there are times in this story when Yo Han may seem kind, caring, and vulnerable but, in reality, something COMPLETELY different is happening inside his head.

Chapter 39 was actually a good example of that, specifically when Yo Han was pressing his thumb against the scar on his palm. Ga On automatically assumed that had to mean Yo Han was in pain, but that's not it at all. Not even close. Pressing the scar (which was first established in The Gentle Light, which I wrote over a year ago now) has become Yo Han's way of curbing his less-than-moral impulses when it comes to how he approaches his and Ga On's relationship.

Yo Han wasn't pressing the scar because it hurt (though he does have flashes of psychosomatic pain, too) but because he needed to remind himself not to do what he ACTUALLY wanted. Which certainly wasn't to resign himself to being rejected and go: "Then I won't."

In that moment, Yo Han wanted to claim and possess — not surrender.

And it was a struggle for him to choose the path he knew Ga On wanted him to.

In short, both Yo Han's protectiveness and possessiveness are sometimes hidden in the small things he does, which might not always be apparent to Ga On or the reader. Remember that Ga On is an unreliable narrator and while he is astoundingly good at reading Yo Han sometimes, not even he sees all.

And that, on the whole, Yo Han is a lot more vicious and immoral than Ga On wants to admit. It may not be as apparent now that Yo Han is without a revenge quest and more focused on doting on his family, but it's by no means gone. Just dormant.

The Abyss will never fully stop abyssing.

(Yes, I am definitely making this fic and the characterisation unnecessarily complex with breadcrumbs sprinkled across stuff I've written literal years ago — thank you for asking)

[despair-tea]

I think I'm growing up alright. I'm gonna keep at it.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Anyone else out here haunted by the unknowns of recovery?

[scramble-crossing]

Twewy acoustic

10/10 FANTASTIC album! Your ocean, Voices, and Breaking Free were the highlights for me :] Voices especially! I never really payed special attention to that song before but man...it's so good

I kinda wish we'd gotten at least one more fast-paced song but maybe that's not in the acoustic spirit? Idk I'm not much of a music buff. Shibuya Survivor, Unpainted, bird in the hand, or Storm would've been really fun to hear though! Or yknow what fuck it. We're Losing You. Don't ditch the screamo vocals just throw in a guitar player and listen to them hang on for dear life in the background I'm sure that'll sound great

No Twister? Really? We got a twewy album WITHOUT a millionth Twister remix?? I'm shocked

It's So Wonderful didn't really feel super different to me (I think mostly because what I always remember best of it is just the opening riff) but I like it on there anyways. Feels right yknow?

Calling though. It did feel just a smidge unnecessary to me. There's already been a ton of great Calling remixes and this one's just kind of...eeeeeeh. It doesn't really stand out against the crowd.

Disconnect Me I'm a huge fan but where did you come from. I swear to god I've never heard this song before in my life it's driving me crazy trying to remember it

Get that Final Fantasy song out of there right now THIS IS OUR MOMENT!!!!!!1

So...no Transformation?

[jade-efflorescence]

so happy my additions to the post about concert tickets helped you feel better lovely!! thank you so much for talking ab this, it was 100% needed. a decent artist who genuinely loves their fans would not at all want one feeling bad if they couldn't make it to a show :) i think you're also a swiftie so i wanted to say that there's a clip from the eras tour where taylor mentions that she loves everyone in the crowd as much as those who care enough to watch livestreams (basically fans who couldn't make it to tour!) <3 anyways hope i didn't ramble too much lol, sending my love 🤍

this is genuinely such an encouraging comment, thank you for that <33 i agree, i think any decent artist wouldn't think any less of the fans unable to go. i love taylor's music but don't follow each eras livestream so i had no idea she said that, it's very kind of her <3

i was disappointed i couldn't find affordable seats since she came right to my city and no one i like comes here ever :(( but it makes me feel a bit better (?) that not everyone who tried succeeded and i didn't panic buy tickets way out of my price range. it'll sting a bit to look back on but i learned a lot about ticketing, it'll be fun seeing the tour clips, and i know there'll be other concerts!

[bmpmp3]

genbu ai has been found dead in miami.

[mashmouths]

i know it just came out but why hasn't chan covered "silly" by miss troye sivan i can hearrrrr himmmmm singing it, he would transition from falsetto to a belt where troye switches to a talk tone i know this to be true. he could even change the "boy"s to "babe"s if he really needed to for hetero man reasons and i would probably accept it........... bang chan pick up the phoooooooone.........................

[pendraegon]

i don't quite know how to put it into words because i still feel so very small and stupid at times and like i've never really grown up at all and stuck even though i know that's not true and i'm someone i never thought i would ever be but like... being told by someone that i'm their role model or being told by my baby cousin (she's going to college in the fall, where did the time go??) that she chose her major because it was what /i/ did and that she's always admired me growing up, people telling me to my face that they got their bipolar diagnosis and that seeing me live my life the way i do gave them hope like. i. i don't know, i guess on some level i never really let go of that brittle helplessness/hopelessness inside me and honestly i don't think i'm ever worth the praise or the attention or the time or the love or the whatever people give me even now but it's like...maybe my little space here on this blog or in the world or even just traipsing through my usual haunts are worth it if it means that i'm of some service, that i can see some spark of recognition in someone's eyes. it's the feeling of a hand against mine in the dark when for so long all i felt was nothing but air. or whatever you know.

[worldwhampion]

hi i'm the (evil step)parent of @cosmordial's ocs (as they will all suffer a great deal) in our future fanfic!

also just casually dropping the fact null is a part of it too (along with artemis and apollo!!!!!)

[piplupod]

mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset

[lanwangjihouse]

[fruitsyrups]

Random yes but thank u for making that frusan art awhile ago it's adorable and i love seeing more art of this underappreciated ship :D!!!

ahhh thank you!!! frusan is so underrated FOR REAL, i guess it's probably because after Islands they all but disappeared (like i think they were only shown twice after that and that's including in Fionna & Cake (which i actually missed when i watched it bc its such a brief glimpse)) but like. still. I actually have a little idea for another frusan drawing (frieda and susan talking on a roof grown-up edition) but I have to break up the dialogue into parts & think of more Susan Reactions so it's not just Frieda monologuing at her lol

[marinehero]

sorry i know i haven't been around here in a long while but recently read dungeon meshi and senshi's my favourite character. Then I started to watch it, but i. I swear I recognized senshi's voice. So i looked it up. It's garp. It's. god damn Garp--