#but you still get asks trying to riff on a bit you did two years ago

[toskarin]

because some of you are very annoying god bless

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 10

Fic Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: It’s no longer Halloween, but the ghosts from yours and Eddie’s pasts are coming back to haunt you.

5.7 Words

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You had always heard the phrase “speak of the Devil and he shall appear”, but you didn’t think that line was supposed to be so literal.

You and Eddie starred in shock as your shared connection stood in front of the two of you, smiling at Eddie as if he were an old friend. If Chris noticed any animosity in your faces, it didn’t show. Either he was oblivious, or you and Eddie were good at hiding what you two were feeling right now. 

“I thought I saw you in the lobby earlier.” Chris said, walking over to the two of you, ruining your moment together. “I didn’t think you were one for the theater since you never did come and see the Spring play that I worked so hard on.”

Eddie looked weirded out by this, to say the least. 

“Sorry, I was busy trying to finish the campaign that you started.” Eddie said. “I didn’t exactly have time to go.” 

Well, you were really in the middle of this now. You shifted slightly closer to Eddie, looking over Chris. He was almost unrecognizable from his school photos and how you remembered him on that day. No longer the pale and scrawny kid with the constantly pissy face, Chris was actually smiling and it was honestly off-putting. He looked more tan than he had in school, but there was a faint orange tint to his skin that looked unnatural under the yellow lighting of the marquis. 

A fake tan. That’s what it had to be. Chris was sporting a fake tan for his role as Rocky. 

You should have been Riff Raff. Or not here at all. You thought to yourself. 

“Are you still mad that I left Hellfire?” Chris asked. “That was four years ago! Plus, I handed everything over to you, didn’t I? You got to finally be the Dungeon Master, and I got to find something I enjoyed. I think it’s a fair trade.” 

Eddie still didn’t seem impressed, but kept his mouth shut. Chris turned his attention to you. 

“I’ve seen you before.” he said. “You come here a lot, don’t you?”

You blinked in surprise. There’s no way you would have missed him if he came to this show a lot, right? 

“Yeah, how did you know?” you asked slowly. 

“I’ve been running tech for the show since March.” Chris had a smug look on his face that made your stomach churn. If he was working backstage, that would make sense why you hadn’t seen him before. “And I got to be Rocky for this run. What did you all think of the show?”

“The movie was fun.” Eddie offered, and you had the feeling that he was trying to decide if he should be honest or to let go of what happened four years ago. 

You, however, were more willing to be honest in the moment. “I’ve seen better performances.” you said bluntly. “The movie was fine, but I expected more for the Halloween showing. Half of the shadow cast was completely different than before and they didn’t seem to know their cues. Also, what happened to the Virgin Sacrifice?”

Instead of being off-put, Chris just laughed and shrugged. “There’s been some recent changes to the theater management.” he explained. “It caused a bit of a commotion and there were some disagreements. Unfortunately, things like this happen in live theater. A lot of the cast bailed on the show at the last minute.”

That made sense, as much as it disappointed you. If there was an internal problem with the company running the show, it would end up bleeding out into the performance. You felt your annoyance calm down a little. It’s not like Chis was the one to run the show into the ground. 

“Well, It’s been nice seeing you again.” Eddie said, as his hand slipped into yours again, “We have to get going, it’s getting late.”

You gave Chris a half-hearted wave and a goodbye, but then Chris started talking again right as you two were turning around to leave.

“Just so you know, auditions will be opening for the shadow cast.” He said. “We’re skipping the next two months to get the show back on track. In case either of you are interested.”

You froze in place for a moment and Eddie noticed and dropped your hand. You turned around to look at Chris, wondering if he was being serious right now. 

“Auditions are never open. Even for the understudies.” you said. “I heard that you needed to know someone on the inside to even have a chance at auditioning.”

“Well, we know each other now, don’t we?” he asked with a smile that had too many teeth for your comfort. “I can get you an audition, if you’re really interested. I think you’d be great on stage.” Chris was looking at you up and down, as if considering you. “I can see you as a great Janet.”

“I’ve always wanted to audition.” you finally admitted. “I’ve been wanting to be a part of this show since I started coming here.”

Chris dug into his bag and pulled out a card for the theater, and scribbled down a date and time on the back. “This is when we’re holding auditions. It’s invite only.” he said. “I’ll put in a good word for you, if you’re serious.” 

You took the card, looking it over. Maybe you and Eddie had been a little hard on the guy. Chris was right, it had been a long time since he was in high school, and people change. You changed. It’d be pretty hypocritical of you to brush this off completely. Everyone here was an adult, right? And this was something you’d wanted for years now. Could you really just pass this up?

“I’ll be there.” you said, without thinking, and when Chris offered his hand, you reached out and shook it. “Thank you.” you added. 

Chris winked at you and said goodbye to Eddie and turned to leave, leaving you and your date alone outside the theater. By now, almost all of the movie-goers had left and the parking lot was nearly empty save for a few cars. 

“Holy shit.” you said, turning to Eddie when Chris was out of earshot. “I did not expect to run into him tonight. Or ever again.”

Eddie let out a small sharp breath that could have either been a laugh or a sigh. “I thought he just disappeared off the face of the earth when he graduated.” His eyes drifted to the card you held in your hand; the same hand that he had been holding on and off all night. “His hair grew out a lot.”

“Yeah, I think it’s even longer than yours now.” You agreed, tucking away the card into your own bag and turning to fully face him again now.

The mood between you two had shifted from what it had been before Chris interrupted the two of you. Whatever moment the two of you were about to have had passed, and as much as you wanted to kiss Eddie, it wasn’t the time. You didn’t want to force anything after the moment had been ruined. 

Dammit, Chris. Why couldn’t he have shown up before the movie started? Okay, maybe you were still able to feel pissed at the guy. 

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.” Eddie said, and this time you reached out for his hand instead. Chris might have cockblocked your first kiss with Eddie, but you weren’t going to let him completely ruin the night. You didn’t miss the slight squeeze of his hand as you led him towards your car. 

“I know I totally trashed the performance, but I did have a lot of fun with you tonight.” you told Eddie. “Other than him showing up, I really did like spending time with you.”

“Next date, it’s gonna be just us.” he said. “No chaperones and no Chris-es.”

“So, you want to go on another date with me?” you asked, thinking that maybe the moment wasn’t as ruined as you had thought. 

“I’ll call you this weekend.” Eddie promised. 

He leaned in, and you closed your eyes. Warm lips brushed against your cheek, and you tried not to feel too disappointed. It was still something, after all. The two of you hugged, and you breathed in the faint smell of cigarettes, leather, and popcorn. 

“Not if I call you first.” you said, finding that line was starting to be a small inside joke between the two of you. You hoped that there’d be a lot more shared jokes together in the future. 

You got in your car, and made your way home. Despite the small hiccup, you were starting to feel more confident about the future. Things were going well with Eddie, and you finally had the chance to do something you’d had your heart set on for years now. 

Moving forward wasn’t so bad. 

Eddie was torn on how tonight went. You had fun, and you said that you had fun with him. He had been ready to lean in and plant one on you to make this feel more official but then Chris just had to show up and ruin the night. As usual. 

It might not have been as bad if he hadn’t started talking about auditions and that was what made Eddie’s stomach twist. You had been mentioned enough times that this was something you had always wanted to do, and Eddie admired that a lot. He loved that you wanted to be on stage like that, and if you were in the cast he was sure that he’d show up for you, just as you had been showing up for Corroded Coffin. 

But Chris had been the one to make the offer to you with his new muscles and hair that was longer than Eddie’s. Eddie didn’t want to feel jealous, and most of him felt like the two of you had bonded enough over talking shit about the guy that there was no way you’d had an interest in him. 

So why did a smaller voice in the back of Eddie’s head feel like this was starting to crumble already? You had talked about changing and being different since you had been in school, and Chris looked different and had pointed out that he had graduated almost four years ago. 

“You aren’t at Hawkins High and these aren’t children.” you had said when he had been taking in the site of so many people who looked and dressed more like him.

You hadn’t meant anything by it, Eddie was sure of that. You didn’t seem like the type to put someone down for what they were or weren’t able to accomplish. That still didn’t change the fact that he was a 20 year old still in high school, while you and Chris were out in the real world working and living on your own. Presumably. Eddie didn’t know where Chris was living and didn’t care to. 

It was pretty late in the evening now, and he found himself wishing he could call Ronnie right now. Actually, he was starting to wish that he had talked to her earlier, had listened to her and taken her more seriously a few years ago. 

Three more stupid credits and I’m out. That’s what he’d told himself since September when he walked into school for his sixth year in high school. He could coast through most of his classes, and he just needed to push through until June. 

1986. That was going to be his year. He just needed to get through the rest of 1985 first. 

Just as Eddie was about to go and crash in his bed the phone rang. You were the only one who would be calling him this late, and the knot in his stomach only tightened. You hadn’t been judgemental to his face about his education (or lack there-of) but what if it did matter? 

He didn’t think you’d just up and drop him because Chris Morrison of all people showed up with his stupid long hair, offering you something that you wanted so badly. Right? Then again, Eddie hadn’t exactly been the best at communicating with you at all, and he had disappeared on you more than once without notice. Chris hadn’t hesitated with giving you a way to contact him.

Expecting the worst, Eddie tried to remain calm as he reached the kitchen.

“Hey.” Eddie said into the phone, “Get home safe?”

“Eddie?” 

That voice wasn’t yours. The last time Eddie heard that voice, Eddie had been covered in blood and soot in Police Chief Hopper’s office. Her voice had echoed so loud that Hopper had even flinched as she cursed him out for ruining a chance for both of them. 

“Paige?” Eddie asked in disbelief, as if he were talking to a ghost. 

For fuck’s sake, Eddie this isn’t something we can just reschedule I know this was your shot this was my shot I stuck my neck out for you I know I’m at the police station What did you do? No room for a little tarnish, huh? Don’t be an asshole I’ve been an asshole all along, I’m just the last person in Hawkins to accept it Fuck you. 

“I’ve tried calling you a few times but you weren’t home.” Paige said. 

“You could have left a message.” Eddie’s voice was colder than he meant it. First Chris, and now Paige. What sick prank was the universe playing on him today? 

“I figured you wouldn’t call back if I did.” Paige said, honestly. 

The clock in the kitchen read that it was late in Hawkins and not quite as late in California, assuming that is where Paige was. He wanted to hang up the phone, leave her on a dead end line, just as she had done to him almost two years ago. 

Don’t be an asshole. He told himself. What had happened between the two of them had been the perfect shit storm of events. Eddie had flown, reached out towards the sun, only to crash and burn. He had been reminded of what it really meant to have Munson attached to his name.

Eddie had been the one to fuck up, not Paige. 

“I probably wouldn’t have.” Eddie admitted. 

“Are you going to hang up on me now?” 

Eddie paused. “No.”

“Good.”

“You know it’s... really late.”

“I know. I probably should have called you in the morning but I thought it was worth a shot calling tonight. Besides, it’s not like you have school in the morning.” 

He didn’t, but that was only because he was planning on skipping tomorrow because he’d been out so late tonight. 

Eddie’s mind went through a rolodex of anything that Paige Warner would want to talk to him about after all this time. Was she wanting to finally know how he ended up in holding? Had her brother told her about how he was now Freak King Supreme in Hawkins? Shit, did he have an estranged child with her that he didn’t know about? They had always used protection but shit happens and who could blame her from hiding a kid from a guy who she had to bail out of jail and had no money- 

“I’m sorry.” Paige said. “For how things ended between the two of us. A lot happened after you called and I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you after.”

Eddie blinked and stared at the faded wallpaper of the kitchen, trying to make sense of the apology. She was apologizing? Why?

“I....” Eddie swallowed. “I think I should be the one apologizing here.”

“Oh, you definitely owe me an apology, too.” Despite her words, there was no bite behind it, no malice. “But I’m offering up my apology first as an olive branch.” 

How come ever since that night at the Palace Arcade, everything had started being so weird for Eddie? 

“What exactly are you apologizing for?” Eddie asked as he rubbed his face, the evening was starting to catch up to him now. 

“For blowing up at you at 4 am when you needed help.” Paige said. 

“It’s.. It’s fine. I deserved it.” Eddie leaned against the refrigerator and slid down. His gaze drifted up to the popcorn ceiling of the trailer’s kitchen, picking out constellations in the flaky white plaster. 

“Maybe, but I should have heard you out after I had cooled off.” Paige said. 

“So, you’re calling me in the middle of the night two years later just so we can talk about what happened?” Eddie asked. 

“Not completely. I’m calling because I want to give you a second chance.”

“Uhhh.....” Had Eddie heard that correctly? 

“A lot happened with WR Records after you bailed on the audition.” Paige continued. “I don’t want to go into details over the phone, but the short version is Corroded Coffin might have another shot.” 

Oh, it can get weirder. 

“Wait, what? Really?” Eddie sat up straight, gripping the phone with a grip so tight his knuckles were turning white. 

“I’m coming back to Hawkins for a few weeks. I’ll be landing in a few days, and I want to meet up with you to give you more information.” 

Corroded Coffin might have a second chance. Not just Eddie, but his band. When Paige had managed to get Eddie the original audition, she had said that only he would be the one to go to L.A. to play for all the suits in the business. They were only interested in Eddie, not Corroded Coffin. Eddie was real. 

“You mean, my whole band?” he clarified. “Not just me?” 

“Don’t get too excited.” Paige said firmly. “This isn’t nearly as nice of an opportunity as last time. But it is an opportunity. I want to meet up with you alone first to go over the details and explain what’s going on.” 

“Why just me?” 

“Because you’re the selling point, Eddie. You always were.” 

Real. I saw it that night at the Hideout. I saw it years ago at the stupid talent show. You get up there and whatever you play, it’s raw. It’s life or death. And people can feel it.

Had you felt it? Eddie thought back to the two times you had shown up to see him play, you’d looked up at him with an excitement that he’d only ever seen from the rest of his band. Eddie could count on his hands the number of people who he could say were fans of his. Paige had been the first to look at him like he was someone while he was on stage, but she wasn’t the last. 

“When do you land?” Eddie asked. 

“Early Saturday, but I’m spending time with my family for the next few days.” she said. “I’ll call you and let you know when we can meet up.”

“Yeah.. yeah alright. Sounds good.” 

Did it?

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later Eddie. Good night.” 

“Hey, Paige?”

“Yes?”

“...Thanks. For bailing me out back then. I don’t think they would have released me if you hadn’t.” 

“Just don’t do that again, ok?” Paige said. “And you can give me a proper apology when we meet up.” 

Eddie nodded, and then realized he was on the phone and she couldn’t see him. “Okay. I’ll be there.” he said. 

The dial tone wasn’t as aggressive as it had been that day in Hoppers office, and this time Eddie didn’t slam the phone down on the receiver. Instead he opened up the fridge, stared hard at the six pack of beer, closed the fridge without grabbing one, and went back to his room. He kicked off his shoes, and shrugged off his clothes, and fell face first onto his bed. 

Eddie tried to sleep. He tossed and turned for hours, replaying the events of the night over and over and over again like a bad movie. Seeing you, watching the movie, almost kissing you, Chris showing up, Paige showing up. How could so much happen in the span of less than three hours? 

Paige wanted to talk to him about Corroded Coffin. Eddie was the selling point. There was no way that WR Records was still interested in him, if they were she would have said so and not even brought up the rest of his band.

Shit, what would the rest of the band even say? Only Jeff had been around for the original demo recording that they had all done together. Dougie had left after that year, Ronnie passed her position off to Gareth. 

Face stuffed into his stained pillowcase, he started creating a list of unanswered questions. Why was Paige showing up now? Why was she reaching out to him? Why is she giving Corroded Coffin another shot? Why did Chris have to show up tonight? Could you be attracted to Chris now that he had long hair and wasn’t the scrawny asshole he was in high school? Why did Dustin suggest him to hook you up with? Why did you agree? Why did he care so much that you didn’t remember him? Why did Steve also keep showing up? Why didn’t he kiss you? Wait, did Paige still want to kiss him? Okay, that one at least had to be a no. 

Eddie gave up on sleep when his uncle came home, and heard the faint snoring coming from the pull out couch in the main room. 

With sleep no longer an option for him for the time being, Eddie dug out his notebooks and instead focused on the mountain of song lyrics and notes from over the past few years. With his guitar slung over his shoulder and unplugged, he would be able to work without disturbing Wayne’s sleep. 

Each silent chord and tab that Eddie played whispered through his bedroom. He mouthed along to the words on the pages, his voice occasionally slipping through the cracks as he figured out the rhythm of the lyrics. Playing guitar cleared his head, music always brought everything to the surface one way or another, even if he didn’t realize it. 

As he focused on a specific riff, his fingers and wrist moved over and over in a constant rhythm. Even when he messed up, he didn’t stop the movements of his fingers as they slid along the strings. It was easy, it was challenging, it was meditative. Eddie could finally focus. 

Paige Warner wanted to see him again to discuss Corroded Coffin. Paige was an ex. Sort of. It had been implied that they were going to make it official when he moved to California with her. They were even going to move in together, even if they would have separate rooms. Roommates who sleep together. 

Anyone with half a brain wouldn’t just up and admit that she was an ex girlfriend. Business or not, Eddie was going to have dinner with an ex. 

If he were still the same shitty 18 year old from two years ago, he wouldn’t have thought it was a big deal. Eddie would have had no problem going to see her, and it wouldn’t have even crossed his mind to tell you. But now, as a less shitty 20 year old, he couldn’t do that. You deserved to know who he was going to see if the two of you were going to go on another date. 

He was also going to have to come clean about a lot more than that if things became more serious. That was something that Eddie was dreading. If he told you about Paige, he’d have to tell you about their history together. Telling you that he and Paige had slept together was easy, but what about the rest? How could he explain that she bailed him out of jail after he’d been arrested because a cop was shot on his lawn after two drug mules had burned his house down because Munson and Junior had stolen five pounds of weed from a reefer truck?

Eddie had only told the whole story to one person, and that was Reefer Rick. He hadn’t even had the heart to tell Wayne everything that had happened that Spring out of shame for everything that he’d done. Even Ronnie had been kept in the dark about what happened. 

The sun slowly came up, and his guitar and notebooks were bathed in a warm golden light that contrasted the chill of the beginning of November. Eddie hung his guitar back up and gathered his notebooks, setting them aside for a later time. He laid back down on the bed, and closed his eyes. He decided that the next time the two of you talked, he would be honest about who Paige was and what their main history was. It wouldn’t do anyone any good to dump all of his family trauma on you at once when things were only just starting out. 

It was kind of funny. Eddie had never set out to be anyone's boyfriend. It had never been a priority with him. Even with Paige, he had definitely found her attractive but aside from seeking her out to ask for her help with getting signed, she had been the one to make any move for anything more to happen. He’d been fine with that at the time, but after spending time with you... 

This wouldn’t be easy, but he told himself he wasn’t going to run anymore. When he woke up, he’d call you and tell you exactly what was going on and who he was going to see. Anything about his police record could wait for now. 

With that thought in mind, Eddie was able to finally pass out. 

It was well into the afternoon when Eddie finally woke up again. He pushed through the grogginess and showered, dressed, and shoved a can of instant pasta into his mouth as he flipped through the limited channels on tv. 

About two hours went by before he remembered that you had today off. You’d mentioned that to him during one of your many long phone calls, and he about smacked himself in the head when he realized it. He’d been sitting around and waiting for you to get off work, and you hadn’t even gone in today. 

Eddie held the phone in his hand, his fingers hovering over the dial pad hesitantly before forcing himself to push the digits that would connect the two of you again. 

You answered on the third ring. 

“No Hellfire today?” you asked. 

“Not this time, everyone bailed out early for fall break.” Eddie said. “We did our Halloween special yesterday.”

“Tell me about it?” 

Eddie felt himself nearly melting into a pile of goo at the words. You always asked about his campaigns and his band, taking an interest in a way that no one ever had before. There was a lot that he had to tell you, but.. He could at least give you this before he gave you the real reason why he called. 

You listened as he told you about how the party went up against a pumpkin creature that had been attacking the town. It was a module he had made himself, and that he’d been working on for the past month between the main story of the campaign. You laughed and gasped at all the right moments, sealing the idea that Eddie was going to make a one-shot for you specifically to play. He couldn’t wait to help you make a character and add you to his table. 

Assuming you would even want anything to do with him after what he was about to tell you.

“Sounds like a Scooby Doo episode.” you said, as he finished his tale. 

“More like Goober and the Ghost Chasers.” Eddie smiled, taking his usual seat in front of the fridge. 

The two of you talked, and it was far too easy to get lost in all of the conversations that he had with you. Every time he told himself to suck it up and tell you who he was planning on seeing, you’d ask him something and the two of you would be off on another tangent. 

But then Eddie found his opening, and it was time to talk. 

“I’ll be at the Hideout again next week.” you said. “I’m really looking forward to hearing that song you keep hinting at. How many original songs are you hiding from me?” 

“We have almost seven by now, but no one wants to hear them.” Eddie lied, knowing full well there had been at least one person before who did. 

“I want to.” 

Two people. 

Fuck, he needed to tell you. 

“So... speaking of Corroded Coffin,” he said carefully. “We actually almost had a chance to audition for WR Records.”

“Hole shit.” you gasped into the phone. “What happened? I would have thought any record company would be tearing down the door to get you to sign with them. Or, oh, were they too mainstream? Did they want you to sell out? Change everything about you? Did you tell them to shove it, and that you wanted to make real music?” 

Eddie couldn’t help but snort into the phone, suppressing a laugh. “Nah, we uh... well we made a demo tape and sent it in, and they wanted us- me. They wanted me to audition.”

“Just you...?”

“Yeah.” Eddie picked at a loose fray in the tear in his jeans. “They didn’t really like Corroded Coffin, but they did like me. But I blew my chance, and never made it to the audition.”

“Shit, Eddie... that sucks.” you said sympathetically. “What happened?” 

Eddie was quiet for a moment as he tried to figure out how to explain to you what happened.

“Eddie?” you asked after he didn’t say anything. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to get into it.”

“I fucked up.” He finally admitted. “I did something stupid, and it stopped me from making it to California for the audition. That was two years ago. And last night I just got news that Corroded Coffin might be having another shot at something.”

“Wait really? That’s incredible that they still want to talk to you! And you said it was for the whole band this time? Not just you?”

“I don’t think it’s WR Records this time but a talent scout found me and is wanting to talk about Corroded Coffin?”

“There was a talent scout at the Hideout?”

“No.... my uh.. My ex.” 

The silence between the two of you was deafening. For a few seconds, the world went completely still, and silent. Eddie always hated silence. 

“Oh.” you said after a while, and Eddie could tell you were trying to process what he had just said. “So your ex wants to talk to you about your band?”

Your voice sounded neutral, almost too casual, and Eddie hated that too. “She- Paige- she was the one to give Corroded Coffin a chance. She paid for the demo herself, sent it to her boss, and got the audition slot for me. But I fucked up, ended up locked up for a few hours, and everything fell apart.”

Eddie wished that he could see your face, would you look at him with sympathy? Disgust? Would you suddenly look at him like everyone else in town? 

“That sounds like a lot.” You said. 

“Not gonna ask me what I was in for?” 

“Do you want to tell me?”

“...Not yet.”

“Are you on some sort of list?”

“No.”

“Did you kill someone?” 

“I don’t think I’d be let out if I did.”

“Good point. Alright. Then I’ll trust you that you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

Trust. You trusted him. When was the last time he had anyones trust?

“Paige wants to give Corroded Coffin another chance.” Eddie said. “She wants me to meet up with her to give me details. I don’t know what she’s planning on offering but-”

“She bailed you out of jail and is offering you something you always wanted?” You asked, and he could hear something in your voice that sounded almost like defeat. “You should go. It’s clear that the two of you have a history that you two need to work though. And if she’s offering you and Corroded Coffin a chance, you have to take it, right?”

The way you said ‘right’ made him wonder if you were asking something more than just his current situation. 

Why was it that every time you two started to find your footing together, things slipped up? How could things constantly be so weird with you when this should have felt easy? What force in the universe out there kept dangling good things in front of Eddie just to take them away as a cruel joke? 

“Right.” Eddie said, sounding just about as sure as he felt about this. He didn’t even know what this was. 

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but it sounds like it’s complicated and you two need to talk about it.” you said. “Just let me know what’s going on after, okay?” 

Eddie knew what you really meant. Let me know if this is going anywhere or if you’re going to get back with your ex.

That was a thought he didn’t even want to entertain. It already seemed to be impossible that Paige wanted to talk to him again, let alone date again. 

“I will.” He would. “I’ll let you know when we’re meeting up and what she says.” 

“I have my audition next Saturday.” you added. “And Robin and Steve and I are going to have a movie night later this week to hang out. But, I’ll still be at the Hideout if you all are still playing and not signed by then.”

You were joking with him, and he took that as a sign that maybe he didn’t completely fuck up.

“We’ll be there.” Eddie said. “I guess I’ll see you Tuesday then.”

“See you Tuesday, Eddie.” 

With the phone hook back on the receiver, Eddie took a deep breath. 

Just when things are starting to get good, huh?

a/n:

Dividers By: @strangergraphics

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[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Can I request a Christian Cage x Female!Copeland!Reader where Christian is married to Adam’s younger sister and they have their own little family together and she’s Christian’s Valet on screen when Adam arrives it causes a riff because (on screen) he’s trying to get his baby sister away from who he believes is her manipulative piece of shit husband but behind the scenes he’s the most caring and loving big brother and uncle and best friend?

Love Hate and Kayfabe

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, hitting, violence, swearing, generic warnings of all sorts

Word Count: 4k

Main Masterlist Christian Cage Masterlist

When I was approached by Tony, Adam and Christian about this new storyline idea I didn’t like it. Not because Christian and I would have to act like a toxic couple who hated each other but the fact that our children would be involved. As an entertainer,  I’ll admit I was intrigued with the concept but as a parent, I wanted to protect my children. The twins were too young to understand that it wasn’t real. It didn't matter how I would explain it if they saw Mom and Dad yelling at each other they would think it was real. Except in this case, it would be much more than yelling, you have to keep the Kayfabe alive. 

Spending the past 20 years in the wrestling industry I was all too familiar with the issues many children with wrestler parents had. Christian and I knew this, that’s why we waited so long to have children, we wanted to make sure to be there when they grew up but sometimes an opportunity that’s too good to pass up shows up. The next thing you knew Christian and I were out of retirement and helped to create All Elite Wrestling. 

When I found out my older brother Adam Copeland would be joining AEW for some reason I was angry. I mean don’t get me wrong I loved him but I wasn’t as happy as I thought I would be. All Elite Wrestling was MY show, I didn’t need my older brother to steal my spotlight once again. Although my run in WWE during the divas era was quite successful, I was still always viewed as ‘Edge’s little sister’. I hated it.

 Adam and I were never close growing up, since he was 10 years older than me. He was always protective over me, too protective. I could never do anything without my big brother being there. When I told him I wanted to wrestle he shut down the idea immediately, he couldn't bear to see his little sister do such an extreme sport, it made me sick. Just because our dad died when we were young doesn't mean he can start acting like mine. It was his best friend Christian Cage that made Adam change his mind. Christian secretly trained me and vowed to keep it a secret from Adam despite the possibility of it ruining their friendship. Adam would find out about our secret when he went to a local indy show to support one of Christian’s friends on their debut match. What Adam didn’t know was that Christian’s ‘friend’ was me. Of course, Adam was mad at first but once he saw what I could do he had no choice but to allow it. 

Since that day I have engraved myself as one of the best female wrestlers of my generation, without the help of my brother. I did it myself, or I guess with Christian. Christian was there from the very start, he taught me everything I knew, he was there for every match, and every injury, and he even supported me when I asked for my WWE release. I knew I had to wrestle in a promotion without the famous rated R superstar to be taken seriously. During that time Christian and I had developed feelings for each other. After years of sexual tension between the two of us that my brother obviously never noticed we bit the bullet and slept together. When Adam first found out about our relationship he was furious, not because I was sleeping with his best friend but how we hid it for a year without him noticing it. But to be fair it was supposed to be a one-time thing, but of course that’s never how it works. A one-night stand turned into booty calls, to friends with benefits, then fast forward 15 years here we are. Christian and I have been married for the past 10 and have 5-year-old twins, a boy and a girl who we named Isla and Carter. Who currently sat with us in Tony Khans office as we went over everything. 

It was simple really, I had been Christians ‘valet’ ever since he joined AEW as I retired after having the kids so the fans already knew our relationship. That part was done, the only thing left to do was use the debut of Adam Copeland to create a rift in our relationship. 

**** 

“HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW HE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP! HE’S YOUR BROTHER FOR GOD SAKES!” Christian yelled 

“YOU KNOW I HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO MY BROTHER SINCE WE GOT MARRIED! HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD SHOW UP? AREN’T YOU HIS BEST FRIEND!” I yelled back 

“FORMER best friend. You of all people should know what it feels like to have him steal all the spotlight from you. Now you better fix this problem because there is no way in hell I will let him take the spotlight away from us again”  Christian said this time in a condescending tone. 

I did exactly what Christian said, next week I would interrupt a backstage interview with Adam and attempt to ‘fix’ this problem. During the segment, Christian, Luuchasaurus and our newly adopted son Nick Wayne would attack him from behind. This would begin not only the rivalry between Christian and Adam but also between me and Christian since he would accidentally injure me, slowly creating that rift.   

*** 

“So Adam, everyone is dying to know why you decided to join All Elite Wrestling?” Renee Paquette asked 

“Well Renee, I decided to join AEW so I could finish my career with the man I started with. I want to end my career with my best friend Christian Cage” Adam said 

“Christian did not seem too happy when you made your debut at WrestleDream, he claimed that you were here to steal the spotlight from him. How do you feel about that?” 

“Well Renee, first off-” I cut Adam off before he could finish his sentence 

“Well Well, look who it is. It’s the rated R superstar Adam Copeland” I yelled in a cocky tone as I entered the scene, grabbing a chair to sit between Adam and Renee. “What’s wrong Adam? You seem…. On Edge? Renee, you should be asking why he really joined AEW, you and I both know that was a bull shit answer he gave you. The real reason you joined AEW was because you couldn’t bear to see your little sister in the spotlight. I’m not some kid anymore, I have become twice the star you ever were. People should be referring to you as Y/n’s older obnoxious brother who can’t stand to accept the fact that I am better than you. You can’t just walk into MY company and expect the golden treatment because of who you USED to be. I think it’s quite funny how you referred to Christian as your best friend. If you were really his best friend you would have called on his birthday, Christmas, New Year’s, fuck you would have been at his wedding. You left him hanging at our wedding day after you promised you would be his best man. You never called when I gave birth, never made the attempt to meet your niece and nephew, you never even called to see how I was doing after I NEARLY DIED after carrying this industry on my back for the past 20 years!” Just then on cue, Christian and the boys jumped Adam from behind and began the attack. 

The backstage area had become pure chaos, chairs, tables, and everything that was not nailed down was being thrown. Adam and Christian started pummeling each other, security tried to pull the pair away but was unsuccessful. Just then Christian threw a chair at Adam’s head which he ducked, hitting me in the head instead. As my body hit the floor everyone went quiet as reality set in, Christian ran to my side to see if I was okay but Adam pushed him out of the way, so he could check on me. “Get away from her!” He yelled at Christian. You could see the regret on Christians face knowing that he took things too far. 

***

A few weeks  had passed since our segment and the ratings had skyrocketed. We had to move faster with this story that we had originally planned because the people were just too interested in it. This week after playing with Adam for weeks he would get a TNT title opportunity. In order to get his title shot at Full Gear he would have to wrestle Luchasaurus and Nick Wayne in a two on one handicap match. Adam would win the match and I would get blame me for it all, claiming that it was still my fault for Adam’s debut in the first place. I paced nervously around the backstage area as I wanted for our que to begin the match. Sure Christian and I had argued in ring and real life on many occasions but this time was different. After this match Christian and I would have to fully commit to the act. That meant no more wedding rings, no more traveling together, we couldn't be spotted together. Christian noticed me toying with my ring and came up to me giving me a big hug. “You know we will still be married right?” he told me softly before placing a delicate kiss on my forehead. “Yeah I know. It’s just weird. Whatever I say tonight I’m telling you right now I won’t mean” I told him as I held him closer. “I know, and I’ll apologize in advance for my actions” Christian told me. 

“Alright you love birds, you're on in 60 seconds” one of the producer’s yelled. 

Christian and I exchanged I love you’s and a kiss before we heeded hand in hand to the ring for the last time. 

**

Christian sat on commentary and I was ringside supporting my boys. On multiple occasions I interfered when the ref wasn’t looking, but even with my tricks Adam still had the upper hand. I went under the ring and grabbed a steel chair, I handed it to Nick and distracted the ref. Unfortunately Adam countered and hit Nick on the crown of his head with the chair, busting him open. 1..2..3..it was over. 

Christian stormed down to the ring and the two of us began to argue. Although he didn’t have a mic it was still loud enough to be heard. “This is all YOUR fault. I told you to take care of this and instead you made things worse!” Christian yelled. Adam sat on the floor on one of the ring corners, listening to our argument. I tried to get some words in but it was no use. I just kept saying I was sorry but he didn’t care. Christian was angry, with every word he got closer, we were soon chest to chest. The way Christian towered over me made me feel small, I felt like I had been teleported to my youth, I forgot this wasn’t real. “You are worthless, you are nothing” Christian said through gritted teeth. I could feel the tears fall, I was crying. I pushed Christian away, so hard he almost fell. Big mistake, SMACK. He hit me, he actually hit me. My cheek stung and the arena went silent, you could hear a pin drop. I couldn't control my emotions, I was a mess. Looking back at the footage I cringed at the way I looked like a big baby, for god sakes I’m a forty old woman who was having a toddler meltdown on tv. Out of instinct, I hit Christian back, I don’t know why I did but I did, I didn’t stop. Adam quickly got up and separated us. He pulled me away as I screamed. “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I’m sick of your shit Christian, I’M DONE!” I yelled as Adam pulled me out of the ring. I took off my wedding ring and placed it on the ring apron before Adam picked me up, throwing me on his shoulder, carrying me backstage. 

***

Christian and I sat in our private lockerroom alone and in silence for what felt like forever. We were the main event of the night and Rampage has just been filmed. We had been here at least an hour. I couldn't comprehend what happened, Christian hit me. I know this was all part of the story but I didn’t think he would hit me. He never hit me before, not in any way. It took me a while to calm down after the incident, I couldn't stop crying. Several of the female talent comforted me as I cried. I hated how vulnerable I was, many of those girls looked up to me as a mentor now they had to take care of me as I took my own story too far. I was distracted from my thoughts when I felt Christian gently place his hand on mine. I pulled away fast, still on edge from earlier.                    

“I’m sorry Y/n. I don’t know what came over me, you know I would never hurt you” Christian said softly. I said nothing, I didn’t look at him, I didn’t even move. “Can you atleast look at me?” Christian asked. I turned to face him and noticed his eyes were red as well, he was crying. He reached into his pocket and pulled out my ring, the large diamond shinned in the light. “You dropped this'' he said as I let him slip it back on my finger. “I’m sorry” I whispered as I could feel the tears reforming in my eyes “I’m sorry I hit you” I told him. “No, honey I’m sorry. I'm so sorry, it was right for you to hit me. Your poor face” Christian said as he gently cupped my face, brushing his thumb at the bruise that started to form on the side of my face. “I can’t believe I did that to you. I don’t know what I was thinking. Why did I do it so hard?” He said mostly to himself. “It’s okay” I told him “Can I give you a hug?” Christian asked, scared he would hurt me. I nodded and returned the hug. I was scared, so scared. What have I gotten myself into? What if all of this became real? 

****

Just like I said it became real. After the incident I filmed a backstage clip of me dragging Christian and I’s children out of the arena. Renee tried to ask me a few questions but I was trying to get out of there as fast as I could. I held Isla in one arm and Carter held my hand. “Y/n, can you tell us what you’re feeling after the actions that just took place in the ring moments ago?” Renee asked “I’m done, I’m fucking done. Don’t you dare come near me or my children. We are over and I WILL be getting full custody” and with that I left the arena. Once that clip aired the following week my phone was going crazy. People all over the world had been talking about the story, people bought it, I bought it. I actually ended up falling into a depression, I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't get myself to go to work. I couldn't look at Christian. 

Full gear was soon approaching and Christian and Adam had continued the storyline without me. Adam went on his weekly rants on how Christian had been manipulating me for years, how he didn’t deserve me, how toxic we were behind closed doors. Christian denied everything, he claimed that Adam was the one who was manipulating me. I mean, it was when he came to AEW we started to drift apart. Adam was just making me believe Christian was the bay guy. The crowd was divided, people on both sides of the story, so invested on what would happen at Full Gear. I, however, felt nothing but numbness. It didn’t matter how much Christian praised me behind closed doors, how many gifts he bought me to cheer me up, I coudn’t get it out of my head. I knew he loved me, I loved him but when you're so deep into a story it’s hard to get out.

It was now Full Gear weekend and it would be the first time I went to work after the whole fight. Christian and I arrived separately and stayed at separate hotels. It had been a whole week since I saw Christian last and when I saw him he was different. “Hi my love!” He said as he came up to me, holding me tight and kissing me. That was my Christian, not Christian Cage. “Have you been smoking again?” Christian asked me. I may or may not have taken up smoking again due to the stress of this storyline. “Maybe” Christian said nothing, he just laughed. “Why are you so happy?” I asked him “I’m just happy to see you. I missed you and I was talking to the boss and Cope, they think you should turn on him” "Turn on who?” “Adam, we can make it seem like the whole argument between us was just a work to get closer to Adam. Now we know his plans, now we can end him for good!” I liked this idea, did it make total sense, no, but I hated arguing with Christian more. 

I helped Christian get ready for his match and went over everything. I would accompany Adam to the ring and ‘help’ him during the match while I was actually helping Christian. Some started to catch onto my tricks. They were little things, throwing weapons in the ring to benefit Christian, distracting the ref so Adam couldn't get the pin, feeding Nick instructions to attack Adam. Soon I was feeling better, I felt like myself. I was finally able to get out of my head. The end of the match was soon approaching and this would be the finali. Just as Adam would get the three I would pull the ref out of the ring. The crowd went wild and by the look on Adam’s face I could tell he was shocked, oops. Just then I climbed in the ring and listened to Adam begging for answers. Why did I do it? Why would I do it? How could I do it? It was easy, I couldn't let him steal my spotlight once again. I then gave Adam a low blow and Christian gave him a conchairto. It was over. I pulled the lifeless ref back into the ring and listened to the painfully slow count 1….2….3… It was over. It was finally over, we won, I won. Christian and I passionately made out in the center of the ring as we drank in the boos. 

I went over to grab a microphone and made sure I got the final word. “You stupid, stupid old man. You really thought I was on your side. You’re pathetic, you see this whole thing was a trap and you fell right into it. You really thought you could split us up? I’ll give it to you, you got close but not close enough. If you thought a little argument would split us up you are sadly mistaken. Christian could put me through a flaming table and we would make up in time for dinner. You wanted to know why? Why I did it, it’s easy. It’s revenge. Revenge for making my life miserable, now it’s your time to live in my shadow, and if you think it’s over between us, that’s cute. This is only the beginning” 

Christian and I laughed, leaving Adam’s lifeless body in the ring, heading backstage to grab a few drinks, making sure to leave one for Adam. Sure I hate his guts but at the end of the day he is my brother. Christian and I might hate Adam on screen but behind closed doors we still love each other. Always have always will. I mean he is my brother, whether I like it or not. 

An: Sorry the ending is a bit rushed but I didn't want to make it too long or make a second part

[pterobat]

I want to talk about some of the tie-in stuff featuring Lance Bishop that I took in recently.

“Broken” by Rachel Caine, in the anthology Bug Hunt.

The idea that a previously-established character has to be special—bothers me a bit, and I can’t say why. I do know that I felt, after years of pushing back against the mechanistic/deterministic view of the Zentradi in Robotech and Macross fandom, it was time to accept that a character might lack something in the way of “free will” and might not be one of a kind—but still be sympathetic

However, Bishop didn’t put that egg on the Sulaco, Your Mom did, and he asked to be euthanized for firmly "human" reasons, not utilitarian ones.

Anyway, “Broken”, states that Bishop having a stronger altruistic drive than the AP norm, which very briefly leads to the possibility of him being scrapped, and then later lets him disobey orders and save some people in his non-actiony way.

It’s still mostly satisfying, except for two things: Bishop has “brothers” named after other chess pieces (except "Queen" because of cowardice), and while that’s cute, it’s at the expense of the Frankenstein-ish story in the novel below, where he shares the name with his "Father".

Secondly there’s the groaner when the last scene of the story leads right into Bishop meeting Apone’s unit after being repaired by Hudson and the Knife Trick getting brought up already.

William Gibson’s Alien 3 (Novel and Comic Version):

To steal from Dostoevsky, all versions of Alien 3 are stupid in their own way. It’s hard to think of where to go from Aliens, though it’s not my job to do so, right?

At least there’s no chance of Gibson’s version being lionized as a course-correction or a bold strike against some imagined saccharine future. Instead we get something that’s readable and likeable enough, but pretty bland. Kind of like Hicks as the main, really—nothing against the dude, but there’s just not much going on with him.

Part of it’s not the fault of Gibson: he had to write out Ripley, but man, you don’t have to give it a gold star just for otherwise trying. I can also see how the Xenomorphs as a Thing-esque virus would occur to writers, but it just doesn’t feel right.a

Also, for what’s supposed to be a riff on the Cold War and MAD, the Union of Progressive Peoples are cartoonishly silly, constantly thinking about “capitalism” while capitalism doesn't think of them, while the narrative makes a point of how run-down and crappy their tech is.

Even Bishop notices that without any spite, while the UPP are harsh towards him out of an understandable vision of worker’s rights, but in a Dolyist sense is only there to make them more unsympathetic and caricatured.

As for Bishop, he’s fun to follow because I like reading about him just being totally chill about everything, still without coming across as heartless. But he doesn’t have much of his sense of weirdness or of that awkward kindliness that makes his character more interesting than the average friendly AP.

Two more things: I was first harsh on the idea that an ovomorph would grow from Bishop’s exposed guts, but I came around when I realized it was an example of a slightly-more grounded Xenomorph evolution/adaptation than the virus, just putting more of the mechanical in bio-mechanical—plus it was the only example of gender fuckery to be found for miles.

Secondly, I liked his quiet little monolgue at the end that humanity ought to destroy Xenomorphs for their own good. It’s the usual trope of having a heroic character fascinated by monsters, who must prove they are still heroic by killing or opposing them.

Aliens: Bishop by T.R. Napper

It’s funny that this book came out last December, like it was waiting for me to start thinking about the character again.

Sadly, the original characters were not so entertaining, which is often but not always the curse of tie-in fiction. It’s another reason why it’s hard for me to be fannish about the larger Alien-a-verse besides not much of it sounding interesting.

It doesn’t help that the story starts out with a USC Marine mission lead by an Apone, with a male corporate stooge on board, and our new MC gets the nickname “Cornbread” within a few pages—come on with this. Otherwise, she’s like Hicks in the sense of readable and serviceable.

To go back to Alien 3 for a second, and franchising in general—they repeat themes and motifs because that makes the selling easy, and you can make a keen case for “The Real Enemy is Man” being a theme of the Alien universe.

Because of that, having Michael Bishop be who/what he said he was makes the most sense if you want not only a thematic through-line but the Frankenstein-ish subtext of the book which is like catnip to me.

Normally resurrection is thematically cheap in fiction, but given that Alien 3 comes off as cheap (lazy) to begin with, and we’re dealing with an AP, and the results are interesting, it doesn’t take much to win me over.

I don’t know how much research the author did, or if it’s just serendipty, but Henriksen said he played Bishop as an abused child, as a being who knew he was disposable but consoled himself by knowing he’d outlive those who could hold that over him. And even though they look the same age, the abusive-father subtext is all over this. Michael is nice enough until he doesn’t get what he wants after being “patient” and “giving”.

And speaking of franchises and theming, something about creator/creation in the Alien series no longer feels out of place in post-Prometheus world, even if the execution in those movies was a letdown.

Transhumanism also comes into the picture, and while it first seemed Michael would steal Bishop’s new body, instead Michael wants to transfer his body digitally and succeeds. It also feels out of place in the larger franchise, but I might check out a sequel.

I also wish the book were more creative about trying to do something with the Xenomorphs. Michael pretends it’s about something different as part of his manipulation, but alas it’s the same old militarization.

It’s kind of funny that Bishop meets the captured Morse who quirkily tells him a few things about how humans don’t value other humans. It helps Bishop get rid of the last vestiges of attachment to his Shitty Dad, and Bishop otherwise returns to the same place he was before, just with a new unit.

I was waiting for some other shoe to drop, but the Apone #2 unit appeared to have no ulterior motivations when it came to finding Bishop. Returning to a quiet status quo does suit him in a way, since Bishop is so chill about everything.

The book also establishes that Bishop asked to be euthanized because of grief. I didn't want a purely utilitarian reason like reaching a damage threshold that cheapie W-Y labelled unsalvageable--that doesn't work narratively/tonally/emotionally--but it was enough to think poor Bishop decided on death because he couldn’t ever reach adequate quality of life.

So a lot of fun here, even what with the brief moments where Bishop is emotionally demonstrative or fights physically and it’s cringe-inducing rather than an extrapolation of the character.

[breealtair]

Okay so I've read a fanfic once upon a time where Steve was dragged to a school performance of Rocky Horror Picture Show by his gremlins who are attending to support Eddie who is playing Dr. Frank'n Furter and Steve has his bisexual awakening seeing Eddie in fishnets and a corset. And it was fantastic.

HOWEVER.

Imagine if maybe Steve was in the production. Hear me out. In a world where Steve and Robin became friends before he graduated (or maybe it's a midnight shadow cast at the local drive in), Robin has been cast as Riff Raff.

(listen the the theatre department at my college has a tradition of putting on a shadow cast every year and we have always cast a female presenting queer person as riff raff and its literally the hottest riff raff can possibly be and Robin has the same vibes of the people I've seen in the role she would totally rock it)

Anyways, Robin is cast as riff raff and she some how drags Steve into being in the show. I'm imagining either they didn't have someone to fill the role OR Nancy was cast as Janet and it was a poor attempt at trying to get her best friend back together with his ex.

And of course there is Eddie as Frank'n Furter and working with him in such a way throws Steve into the deep end of his bisexual awakening (plus the two gross close together)

Now here's the thing. I'm torn between Brad and Rocky for the Role that Steve would be cast in.

Because on one hand, Steve being Brad while Nancy is Janet would be great because of the the bedroom scene and the parallel of Brad and Steve both having their bisexual awakening while trying to maintain the heteronormative expectation of staying with Nancy/Janet.

But on the other hand! Steve as Rocky is both hilarious and so great. For one, I had the joy of co directing a shadow cast and we cast a himbo football player who had no idea what Rocky Horror Picture Show was. His gay friend in the department told him he had to audition and he did so no questions asked. His LIP SYNC audition was Tequila by the Champs which only has one word in the whole song and he basically stipped down to his underwear (without our prompting) and shimmied around the room for the whole song. So I know the joys of having a jock himbo cast as Rocky. It's a delight. His football friends came to see the show and were scandalized. He was so confused by everything that Rocky Horror is. He really bonded with my best friend who is gender queer as fuck and played Frank'n Furter. I saw him discover some stuff about himself. He rocked that corset. A himbo jock as Rocky is top tier (only to be out done by the time we cast a female cosplayer who had just taken a weight lifting class and was able to dead lift a man twice her size). So imagining Steve as Rocky also fits just as well and still lends to the "trying to set Steve up with Nancy" bit because, you know, touch a touch me exists.

Some more food for thought is the time that my school cast two gay best friends as Janet and Brad except they cast the lesbian as Brad and the gay boy as Janet. The chemistry between the two of them and the way they were able to truly performe a peak satire of gender norms from a crossdressing perspective was truly amazing. That was truly a fantastic time and I could totally see a fic where Robin was cast as Brad and Steve as Janet.

Basically what it comes down to is that, I've seen a couple of fics in which Eddie is Frank'n Furter and Steve watches the show, but I have yet to see a fic where Steve somehow winds up in the show and has to face his bi awakening in the most tactile and face to face way possible.

So I need help.

One, which role would be the best role for Steve? (One plays into the jock himbo vibes, the other into the hetero facing his bisexual awakening, and the last plays into the platonic with a capital P soul mates vibe)

Two I need someone to actually write this fic (or all three versions of it honestly.

(Honestly. I feel like Steve would play Janet with Robin as his Brad only after he had been in the show once and felt more comfortable with the show and himself. I also think that him as Rocky would make sense because it would be the role that all his friends who were familiar with the show would push him towards. Meanwhile, maybe Nancy and Jonathan are cast as Janet and Brad and the whole "rocky stealing Janet away from Brad" thing would be part of the "get your girlfriend back scheme" on Robin's part.)

[uglypastels]

For the spotify thing

Eddie Munson friends to lovers smut. I'm a sucker for idiots in love lol

Watermelon Sugar (or if that has been taken Carolina would also be great because who wouldn't swoon at Eddie calling them a good girl)

- @eddiesprincess86

ok so I got another request, "for the spotify wrapped event can you do carolina with eddie munson? 🫶🏻" so I guess I'm killing two birds with one stone doing this one. i had this idea and it turned into... I'm not sure what this is but I'm vibing and i hope its fun. (i know you requested smut, and I'm sorry I didn't include it, sorry </3)

no explicit warnings. reference to drugs and alcohol, no consumption tho

Spotify Wrapped Blurb event > send in a request! (masterlist)

You knew you were in trouble when his eyes met yours across the room. Trying not to pay him too much attention, putting your anxieties aside, you put all your focus on the people around you. Join in on the conversation. Pretend as if you belong. 

But no matter how well you merged in with the crowd, he could tell. After all, it was his album release party you were crashing. 

To your surprise, he didn’t call for security. Instead, he walked over to you, drink in hand. Leaning against the bar, he asked away from everyone else: ‘Now, how did you get in here, sweetheart?’ 

‘Sorry?’ you gave a shot at playing dumb, but it didn’t fool him. 

‘How did you get in?’ He asked a bit louder, not sternly or with anger, just to get his voice above the music. He was amused. ‘Bribed the guards, did we?’ 

‘I have my ways.’ Was all you said, looking up at him from above your crystal glass. At this point, you knew you were safe. He wasn’t going to do anything. 

‘What’s your name?’ he asked, so you told him. Then he tried to introduce himself: ‘I’m Eddie.’  

‘I know,’ you stated it. Of course, you knew him. Not even because you were a huge fan of his music. But everyone knew the lead singer of Corroded Coffin… whether they wanted to or not. 

You took another sip of your drink. Neat whisky. Eddie watched the liquid drain out of the glass, expecting you to flinch from the burn of it, yet being heavily disappointed. ‘Don’t worry,’ you assured him, ‘I can handle a bit of fun.’ And you certainly held up to that promise. 

Eddie barely left your side that night. To this day, he jokes about how it was for the sake of safety that he was just keeping an eye on you. “Damage control” or “making sure you didn’t steal anything”. 

Yes, years went by, and somehow your lives merged. Some would call it friendship. Any time you had the chance to see each other, which was a rare occurrence considering Eddie's busy rockstar lifestyle (that you constantly teased him about, naturally), you were at each other’s side. Most often, that meant that you would meet him at the studio when the band was recording. It was one of those days, but slightly different. 

You had never seen the guys be this distraught. The worst possible thing had happened— writer’s block. 

The instruments were left astray as all four band members were losing hope of their new record. Eddie still had his guitar on his lap but had stopped torturing himself by playing one failed riff after another. 

When they were in their “thinking zone”, you always made sure not to interrupt, not wanting to accidentally stop the creative juices from flowing, but seeing them torture themselves like this… you couldn’t do it. So, you got up and announced it was time for a break. 

‘We don’t need a break, we need ideas,’ Eddie groaned, spinning around in his chair, head hung back so he could stare up at the ceiling. 

‘Who knows, maybe some tacos will be the muse you have been looking for, now c’mon,’ you pulled his arm as hard as you could, but in the end, it was his own free will to get up that got Eddie moving. You dragged him to the kitchen, where the rest of the band had already assembled. ‘The tacos might have been a bad idea,’ you said once you realised there really was not enough food in the house to cook. ‘But– oh fuck,’ you opened a cupboard just to be greeted with an avalanche of pots. Before the stainless steel hit you in the face, Gareth caught the biggest pot just in time, stopping everything else from falling– minus one lid that made an incredible ruckus, possibly heard through the entire neighbourhood. 

‘Is it just me or did that sound kind of good,’ Gareth hit the lid again, looking up at the rest of the band. 

‘Did you take something? How many times did I tell you guys, don’t fucking trip before–’ 

‘No I’m not high, asshole,’ Gareth called Eddie out. ‘Just– wait.’ He searched around frantically through the other drawers before finding a large wooden spoon and banging it across the pan that almost knocked one of your teeth out a minute before. ‘Imagine this as, like, a backing track.’ It was a hollow metal sound. Not very melodic, but loud. Gareth kept on slamming the spoon on the pot like a maniac as the rest of the band looked at him as you watched them from the side. Seeing them at work was always fascinating, but this… well, this was one for the history books, especially when Gareth grabbed another pan and started to figure out how to use the different utensils to make different sounds. 

‘Fuck, man.’ Eddie sighed, his hand rubbing out the stress from his face, ‘i hate how good that sounds.’ Oh yeah, he was getting ideas. Or perhaps not, because the next thing you know, the lead of the band leaves the kitchen. There is an awkward pause where none of you know what to do until Eddie comes back, guitar on his shoulder. 

‘Do that shit again,’ he tells Gareth. 

‘Please, no need for such formalities.’ Gareth rolls his eyes but resumes his little kitchen orchestra. Eddie listens intently before strumming his first chord; slowly, he builds on it.  

And not just a melody. He’s humming. Words started to appear from the soft humming, and before you knew it, he sang a whole verse– more or less. It was still very much a work in progress, so most of the lyrics were half-mumbled as he still was figuring out the perfect phrasing.

‘Where did that come from?’ you asked, stunned at how easily the words came to him. The writer’s block from before seemed to have disappeared entirely. 

‘Just something I kept on the back log.’ He said, not fazed much. ‘Work in progress.’

‘I like it,’ you said. Not that it mattered much. You were merely an invited spectator in these sessions, but surely some praise could always be somewhat appreciated from time to time. Eddie seemed to think so, at least, as he smiled sheepishly, glancing down at his guitar. He never needed to look at the strings as he played anymore, and yet now he couldn’t look away from the instrument. 

‘Does this mean that we have to write all our songs in the kitchen from now on?’ Jeff quipped. 

‘Oh, god no, it smells here of old take-out.’ Eddie commented. ‘Just grab what you need, and we can finish this up… if you guys are into it.’ There were no objections to the plan, so you quickly helped Gareth bring all the pots and pans into the living room, where they had all their writing stuff set up. 

The next few hours were spent figuring out how to incorporate everything they wanted into something coherent, but unfortunately, nothing seemed to work anymore. Maybe the kitchen was the best place to work, after all? 

‘This isn’t working,’ Eddie was about to pull his hair out. ‘We can’t do it all at the same time.’ but at the same time, to remove any of the elements they had come up with would completely change the song, which they were not prepared to do. One thing you learned about the band: they were some of the most talented and most stubborn mutherfuckers in the industry. Once they had their mind set on something, there was no going back. So the damn pans would stay, and they would sound amazing. No matter the cost. 

There was a long silence, the longest that had occurred since the morning, as everyone in the room tried to think of some solution. It felt silly, but even you tried to think of something, just wanting to help out. 

Eddie called out your name almost as if he could read your mind. ‘Come here, sweetheart.’ You got up from your chair, awaiting further instructions, but those were directed at Gareth. ‘Show her how to hit the beat.’

‘What?’ you asked, confused. Last time you checked, you had no musical bone in your body, and you were just here for moral support and to make sure the guys didn’t kill each other or themselves out of frustration (let’s be honest, mostly Eddie. He could be quite a lot to handle sometimes). 

‘We need more hands on deck if we want to make this work now.’ 

And that’s how you played a very simple beat on the drums for the band. It was enough for now, as they got through the rest of the writing. It was pretty fun, but you did still manage to mess up a few times. No one gave you a hard time for it. All they focused on was the stuff you did manage to do. It was Eddie’s turn to praise you at one moment when you got through the entire song without any mistakes.

Taking a small break, he came up to you as the rest of the band had gone off to do their things for a moment. 

‘Thanks for helping us out.’ 

‘Pretty sure I’m doing more damage than good,’ you laughed. ‘Wouldn’t it be better for me to hit the pans?’ 

‘It’s Gareth’s vision, so unless you’re prepared to get into all that…’ he smiled, ‘but you’re doing great.’ 

‘True, just don’t get angry if I keep messing up.’ 

‘I would never.’ Eddie fake pouted, ‘not at my good girl.’ the words branded you from the inside, sparking up something that froze you for a moment. When you looked back up at him, Eddie had a wide smirk on his lips. Jeff had just walked back into the room carrying a beer, so Eddie leaned in closer to you to keep your conversation private. ‘Besides, seeing you hit it like that, it’s kind of hot.’ 

‘Shut up,’ you dug your elbow into his ribs playfully. 

‘That won’t be possible, I’m afraid.’ Eddie said, and he was right, since you still had a few hours of work ahead of you before the band called it a night. The house they were using to write at was rented, with enough rooms for all the band members to have their own, so once sleep called, they all disappeared behind their doors, leaving you and Eddie alone. 

‘Next time, I promise we’ll go somewhere. Just us.’ He huffed out, and sunk back into the couch. 

‘Oh, I had fun.’  You smiled, sitting down next to him. 

‘And I’m glad, but I would much rather spend my time with you and actually being with you.’ 

‘Next time then,’ you agreed to his earlier promise. ‘But I’m happy to see you guys managed to get out of that writer’s block.’ 

‘Yeah, it was… something. I’m still not sure about it all. What do you think?’ Eddie lazily pulled you into his lap, placing his chin on your shoulder. 

‘It’s great. Well, the pots and pans strategy is for sure…  interesting but I think you guys have something amazing brewing here. I just…’ you bit the inside of your cheek. 

‘What?’ He sounded so tired. The long day was finally draining him out. 

‘I just… can’t help but think some of it sounds a bit familiar.’ You quickly clarified: ‘some of the lyrics, especially the one about sneaking into parties, the drinking, the…. Other stuff.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ The little kiss he left on your arm sent a shock through your body. 

‘No, of course not. Maybe it’s just deja vu or something.’ 

‘Must be.’ 

‘Mhm,’ you agreed, and yet couldn’t help but giggle at the idea of Eddie having a song in his back pocket about the day you met. 

thank you so much for reading!! please let me know what you thought and don't be shy to comment and reblog <3 or leave an anonymous review behind here :)

eddie taglist:

@spiderrrling @theglitterymess @dorianelizabeth @theletterhart @niyahwhoreworld @chatnoirfangirl1624 @fopdoodle1624 @pastel-abyss-x @ghoulsgraveyard @prettytoxix @lovesickollie @xbreezymeadowsx @ssanjuniperoo @nxrdamp @meaganjm @yourmommilf @mischiefmanagers @roseyykris @capybergara @brother-lauren @h0sh1verse @ghostlyreads @croweaterr @ladyapplejackdnd @bilesxbilinskixlahey @kbakery @sleeping-willlow @lizzylynch1 @liltimmyst @hellfire-state-of-mind @escape-in-time-blog @miscelaa @sweetpeapod @the-a-word-2214 @eddiemunsonbby @wh0re4munson @eddiesdingus @zoeyquinn94 @munsonmunchies @overthewhiteclouds @wroteclassicaly @groupies-do-it-better @stitchity @celestialsxturn @hoe4eddiemunson @inanausomewhere @witchyrivers @scoops-harrington @fluffyharrington

[operationslipperypuppet]

Can you tell us about the deal your character made with a god, the tags made me curious

Hell yes, but fair warning, this might end up being a long explanation. (This is referring to my tags on this post.)

I promise that most of these details i mention will be important.

To start, I’m playing a game of Blades in the Dark in a slight riff on the town that the game is originally set in, which my group determined in a game of The Quiet Year. During that set up game, we established a character who would try to solve the root of supernatural problems in the city but never quite be successful, and the NPC name generator we used spat out the name “Tip Footman, PI”. When we did character creation for blades, i was a bit stuck, and the GM and other players encouraged me to just play Tip, who’s still a bit of a joke, given his playbook (Quotidian, for which the explanation is “just some guy”.) Tip has two failed marriages and has been a PhD candidate for 17 years, and is attempting to finish a dissertation that maybe just has some formatting issues.

Thus a bit of a meme of me playing Tip at any possibility began.

We flash forward a year or so. We decide to play a game of Fiasco as a one shot, still set in Eelmouth, our beautiful haunted town, a decade or so before the events of A Quiet Year. Fiasco starts with dice rolled and pulling certain dice to determine your character’s relationship with the characters next to you at the table. One of the players next to me got our relationship to be “an informant and an investigator”. Tip is an investigator. I was encouraged to continue playing Tip, and I accepted. The other player next to me and I got our relationship determined to be “twins”. Her character and the one i wasn’t connected to were “a vampire and their thrall”. (This is, unfortunately, important.) The last relationship, between the informant and my sister’s thrall was something like “cult leader and follower”.

The way Fiasco works, as my limited memory recalls it, is that on each of your turns you pull a die and either call for a scene between two characters or start a scene with someone. The color of the die determines whether or not the scene will have a good ending.

Throughout the game, some things become interesting. There are some other mysteries that come up. The cult leader/thrall decided to attempt to create a new god. He failed this task in a way where he was able to create a god, just not the one he wanted. This new god, was the god of failure (someone who existed in the anthology of gods in our blades game already).

The information that Tip received from Nell, his informant, was that the cult leader intended to do a ritual with Mags to unthrall her. Something that could kill her, his beloved twin, who he had already lost when she got turned. He couldn’t have that. But he did try to convince Nell to leave the cult.

So then it’s my turn. And I deliberately pick a die that gives me a poor outcome. And i ask for a scene with this god of failure (who is played by the same player who is playing my sister).

The deal Tip makes is simple. This is a new god, he has no followers. And power comes from followers. So Tip will be his most devoted acolyte. In return for the unthralling failing, he will become the poster child for this god. The person who will, at any turn, fail. This is a man who was newly engaged. Who was starting a program and young with his whole life ahead of him. And he was willing to fail at everything, for however long this god saw fit. As long as the other ritual was also a failure.

And it was. So Tip is, forever, marked by failure. Retroactively justifying a lot of the events of A Quiet Year and our Blades game. He’s trying to get out. He has to believe he will get out one day. And he kept his deal a secret. For decades.

The end of the game went poorly for all of the PCs. The cult guy died. Nell is unable to do her art anymore (it was an art cult). And Mags left town, and is hiding forever in a church, afraid of hurting people once more.

And the best part? We didn’t mean for this game to be canon when we started playing it. And it’s fundamental to how the story works now.

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #9:

World Party's Goodbye Jumbo

In the Spring of 1990 I became momentary friends with the edgy older dude next door.

I was 14 and in 8th grade, emerging from a month of missed school due to an epic case of poison oak followed by an even more epic bout with the chicken pox. I looked like the Elephant Man, one eye blistered entirely shut. Edgy Older Dude was in his mid-twenties and was definitely on drugs.

How do I know he was on drugs, you ask? Don't worry, I still know little to nothing about drugs. But a year after our moment of friendship Edgy Guy moved out and my dad, who owned the guy's apartment, sent me over to clean out his kitchen. In the frig I found, swear to God, at least 7 open bottles of identical BBQ sauce. Now my frig today can get a bit chaotic; sometimes I discover we're working on two competing jars of mayo simultaneously. But only a 20-something white dude on drugs is capable of racking up 7+ squirt jars of Kraft's Slow Simmered Original.

Anyway, this guy and I conducted our friendship entirely through his bedroom window. You see, at that point in 8th grade I was searching for The Answer. So were you. A calendar year earlier I Won't Back Down had fundamentally changed my life. Tom Petty's full moon masterpiece disinterested me in baseball cards and comic books forever and set me firmly on the path that led straight to the Dollar Bin.

Petty led me to the Wilburys; the Wilburys led me to the Beatles; the Beatles led me to insist on getting a pair of Lennon's circular granny frames at the optometrist. But then I hit a roadblock. MTV was all Aerosmith and Janet Jackson and I never could work up the energy to try and understand Janie's Got a Gun or what had happened in 1814. So what was next? My 8th grade self had no idea.

Then World Party's Put the Message in the Box glided out the window next door: a warm, earnest cloud of harmony and comfort set to a white guy beat.

And if you listen now, you might hear, a new sound coming in, as an old one disappears...

Him: "Hey kid, what's up?"

(It was a reasonable question. I was standing directly outside his bedroom window, staring in, transfixed.)

Me: "Oh, hey. Sorry. I like that song, sir."

Him: "Yeah. Just came out. World Party. Totally sweet."

Me: "Wow. Yeah. I like the Beatles."

Him: "Right on kid. Want me to tape this for you?"

Me: "Wow. Yeah. Like, totally."

A day later the guy's arm stuck out the window and passed me a Maxell tape (remember the guy sitting in profile in his armchair, getting blown away by the audio quality one experienced from a Maxell tape?) of World Party's Goodbye Jumbo, an album I will now argue belongs in the pantheon of still extremely worthwhile 80's White Guy Rock.

Ah, the category known as Worthwhile 80's White Guy Rock. Stephen Stills appears in it not. Little did you know that what started with Armed Forces and found prestige pinnacles with The Joshua Tree, Disintegration, Graceland, So and Synchronicity, and classic oddball variations with Shooting Rubber Bands at the Stars and Petty, Dylan and Co's various resuscitations, all finds its righteous conclusion in Goodbye Jumbo, Karl Wallinger's fantastic double to The White Album.

Of course Goodbye Jumbo remains a very minor record in comparison to the others I mention above. If there's a signature sound from the album left in the memory of anyone other than me it's likely the brief, squirming riff that opens the first single, Way Down Now. Wallingher squeezes his guitar like a full tube of toothpaste, spiraling out a strangled surge of joy. Take a listen.

At the close of the 80's my father seemed like the person least likely to help me on my quest to find awesome popular music. My siblings and I grew up without a working stereo in the house and when I insisted we listen to Running Down a Dream in the car the only vaguely relevant comment my mercurial and forever overworked dad could summon up was that I should really listen to Toad, Cream's 8 minute drum solo song from Wheels of Fire. Somehow that track, and that track alone, had lodged in his memory. Was his recommendation earnest or mischievous? Definitely both. That's my dad.

Anyway, my father's sole moment of brilliance when it comes to talking to me about music in the last 35 years came when he first overheard me listening to Way Down Now. As the song began to climax and soar he stepped over the Millennium Falcon that still cluttered up my bedroom floor and started singing along!

Woo-Woo! Woo-Woo!

Somewhere in his brain, otherwise crammed with Reganomics, house paint color wheels and bidding estimates, there was still room left for Toad and the background vocal line from Sympathy for the Devil.

"Your band is stealing from the Stones, son," he said as the song ended. Then he wandered off, continuing to sing it, without further explanation, leaving me totally flummoxed: who were "the Stones" and what did they have to do with the fantastic music coming from the homemade tape I had on repeat? Furthermore, did my father have a secret life?

I once again sought out the dude next door, standing at his window, oblivious to all social mores, until he reappeared.

"What's up kid? Like the tape?"

"Oh yes, sir. But my dad says they're stealing from the Stones."

"The Rolling Stones? Damn, he's right. Sympathy for the Devil. They're stealing from everyone. It's genius. The fifth track is my favorite. Pure Prince."

At that point I was even more confused. I knew about The Rolling Stones. My friends Matt and Eric, who had cool dads, had gone to see Keith and Mick at the LA Colosseum the year before; Guns and Roses, whose fold-out naked lady tape cover for Lies scared the living crap out of me, had opened for them. But how could a band copy the senior citizens behind Mixed Emotions and the Bat Dance guy at the same time?

I went, like a good little boy, and listened to my tape again, counting down to the fifth track, Ain't Gonna Come Till I'm Ready, and I instantly discovered it was the only song I couldn't stand on the album. Maybe Neighbor Dude and I were not destined to be best friends after all. World Party sang like a girl in that song! The word "falsetto" was definitely not in my vocabulary and it would take another year or so before I heard Crazy Love and began to understand white people soul music.

Another word that was not in my vocabulary was "genre", but my self-education took a step forward when I realized that every song on Goodbye Jumbo had a different mood, a different sound.

Listen to the album today and all this stuff is obvious. The album opens with a handmade gesture; Is It Too Late? is Eno sitting in on the Let It Be sessions, with Wallinger turning on an amateur drum machine and then asking an engineer to start recording even though, obviously, he's already rolling. Does this band know what they are doing, we wonder? Of course they do; by the middle of the track things are on fire.

Every song that follows after in Goodbye Jumbo unfurls its own unique sonic banner. Check out the clouded rainbow dream pop of When the Dream Comes, or the Plastic Ono beautiful death march of God On My Side, or the Dylan/Simon breakfast cereal mashup on Take It Up.

In the decade that followed, Yo La Tengo took Goodbye Jumbo's mixtape, honor-thy-many-masters, approach and perfected it. They rocked; they crooned; they raged; they droned. But Ira, Georgia and James were three (ridiculously talented) people. Wallinger built Goodbye Jumbo alone. That's right; don't be fooled by the full band, cheesy music videos: like the aforementioned Plastic Ono Band, World Party was basically just one guy playing every instrument.

The lyrics on the record are tough for me to measure with any real objectivity. Love Street and Put the Message in the Box sounded to me, at age 14, like sister tracks to Let it Be and Imagine. Wallinger isn't humble on this record; he's out to change the world with a way early environmentalist focus and all kinds of Pleas For Understanding that probably sound pretentious to modern ears. But I still hear those songs like I'm back in Algebra 1, teaching myself how to draw peace signs.

By one measure Goodbye Jumbo is the last record I own that should be considered for the Dollar Bin. Last Spring, after 30 years of looking, I found a pristine vinyl copy and bought it for $40, making it the most expensive individual record I've ever bought. Vinyl records were barely made between 89 and the 00's, so records from that era are always priced at a steep premium.

But don't lose faith in me because of that sticker price, my fellow Dollar Bin Dwellers: I guarantee that you can pick up a CD copy of Goodbye Jumbo for a buck without too much hard looking, and, who am I kidding, all this stuff is available on Spotify anyway.

So I'm putting this message in the box and I'm sending it around the world in a car: Goodbye Jumbo is the late 80's Dollar Bin treasure.

[jackmothperry]

Face Melters: Electric Callboy Show Review

The German band Electric Callboy, albeit a newer moniker for them, is ridiculously well named: They have the electricity to run entire countries, and the tongue in cheek humor, the outright mockery of toxic masculinity, to keep you entertained while they relentlessly grind perfectly honed breakdowns into your soul. 

They’re a band that demands space, yet still manages to thrive in smaller venues. It feels like a big show regardless of the reality of the stage, the crushing bodies, the equipment tetrising around itself. They belong in an arena; they would absolutely bring down a house of thousands upon thousands of people. Electric Callboy’s chemistry with themselves is enough to power an entire show, they do not need the audience to be right on top of them.

But with an audience on top of them? They absolutely crush it. The audience. Under their electric dance moves. Their strong vocals. The humor, the costumes, the face melting metal riffs. 

Wednesday, August 30th, was a hot day in Los Angeles. The anticipation for the show had me earlier to the Belasco than I care to admit, although I did explore the area (and hide in air conditioning) a bit as to not linger and swelter too long. I was fully intending on getting barricade, as it is no longer the moshing days of my youth (last year when I got a concussion at Aftershock) and because I wanted to soak in every moment and every piece of paper shrapnel that launched itself out of the confetti cannons. 

I was vaguely aware of the opening bands, and by the time I got in and skipped my way to the barricade, I knew I was going to have to allocate my energy wisely. This wound up being more challenging than I had thought, as Conquer Divide, from Michigan, was an impressive force, with strong beats and melodic singing intertwined with carnage so lovingly that it was hard to keep still. And to be honest I didn’t really try that hard to resist.

Solence, from Sweden, made it even more challenging. I knew one of their songs because it had somehow magically made its way to my work out playlist (Good Fucking Music, indeed), and I did leave my skin and writhe around for a while to that one along with…well every song they played, actually.

But I knew, I knew I had done it. I had saved enough energy to properly experience Electric Callboy. The surrounding crowd had as well, you could feel it in the air. Said crowd was largely comprised of, what seemed like, the goofy guys from frat movies, the metal heads that are actually quite sweet once you get past their battle vests and incredible tattoos, and the hot goth gf everyone wishes they had, along with a smattering of small children. There were multiple renditions of the Sponge Bob Square Pants theme betwixt sets, as well as some powerful Barbie Girl acapella and doo doo practicing for the inevitable Hypa explosion.

By the time our train attendant who graces us before every Electric Callboy performance appeared on the screen, we were sweaty, we were smelly, we were absolutely buzzing for this.

The moment the techno (Tekkno?) beat is taken over by the guitars, bass, and drums, respectively, of Daniel, Pascal, Daniel, and David, can probably be described super poetically like the wings unfurling of a great dragon here to fuck you up - it’s absolutely a beautiful resounding moment that shows you this is not your normal metal show. 

After that, I was a man possessed. I thrashed so hard that by the second song, one of the two singers, Kevin, who is usually screaming and pig squealing expertly, was gently asking if I was okay. He gave me a high five, and I was a kid again, my heroes in front of me probably not that much older if at all than I am. 

A very nice security guard forced me to drink water (I had refused previous generous attempts because I am not actually that young and my bladder had to be absolutely silent until the end of the show) and I was probably pretty pathetic looking for that all to happen only two songs in. But did I care? No. I was there to rock. And I was going to rock with every fiber of my being. 

The music is such a dopamine rush of constant movement that it makes sense to have some breaks, if not for us, then for them. The only time (outside of a few German moments, of course), I stumbled over the lyrics to a song was their version of Let It Go from Frozen. The notes hit were absolutely golden though. And we got a Backstreet Boys throw back in the mash up and thank god I was a kid in the 90s so that one I could join in on. 

To go into each song and how every note absolutely wrecked me and how would take too long, but a notable one was Castrop X Spandau: the aforementioned German moments were big in this one (at home I swear ich spreche verdammt fließend), but the sound absolutely skins you alive - strips you of all sanity and makes your spine try to leave your body.

Every Time We Touch, Hypa Hypa, We Got The Movies, and Pump It are all pillars in the show that hold everything up while the others threaten to break our bodies with metal. The first mentioned is a nostalgic classic that they’ve refreshed with the Electric Callboy touch. It’s a great gateway song for the people in your life who aren’t quite ready for Hypa Hypa and would absolutely stop trusting you with the aux cord (the metaphorical one in the age of bluetooth) if you threw on Hurrikan. Sidenote, Hurrikan went so hard. I can’t even imagine what carnage happened behind me at that drop. Did I want to mosh? Desperately. Am I bruised from moshing with the barrier? A bit. A bit.

The best part of the show, in my opinion, was the aforementioned chemistry between the band members. Nico and Kevin have a bromance for the ages, to be sure, but the lesser mentioned duo is Daniel and Daniel. Daniel, the guitarist, and Daniel, the bassist, exist largely on the left side of the stage where I had chosen to be as well. And what a good choice that was. They are a comedy show all their own; there was spanking, tandem dance moves, fancy guitar tricks, and general tomfoolery to be had. I was consistently entertained by them in between the moments they melted my goddamn face off. 

Pascal absolutely owned the guitar on the other side of the stage, and came to visit us to just casually remind us he is also excellent at melting faces. I saw later photographic evidence that I had missed some kissing and tomfoolery on the right side of the stage, so it’s definitely a different show depending on where your attention is held. There really isn’t enough kissing in metal.

David, the drummer, had his moment to shine outside of all the other moments he was constantly shining because that man is a beast. He absolutely crushed a solo remix of Sandstorm, owning the stage alone easily. He drips with charisma and yet doesn’t come off as a walking ego with drumsticks, even though he would get away with it if he did. 

Nico and Kevin make me forget it’s unusual to see two singers (I suppose a singer and a screamer isn’t super unusual, but they’re both full fledged lead singers in my book). They both represent that core humor so well, with their natural disarming charm and yet both utterly wreak havoc at the same time. 

The whole band is a mash up of gentleness and edge, of humor and of darkness. It’s such a comforting chaos that I turn to them time and time again when I need to cheer up, work out, or violently shriek. This concert cemented to me that they’re my favorite band, and I think America, selling out every tour date they have, agrees with me. 

The show ended strong, they gave us their moves and their fake bowl cuts, and we all were left vibrating with a great sense that we had just witnessed something otherworldly. 

Thanks for absolutely crushing us, guys.

[carbo-ships]

Post Hoc - Chapter VII

Start: Chapter I Previous: Chapter VI

Ardis felt herself growing more and more anxious as the rehearsal went on. Why was Aether flirting with her again? They’d talked about this. He’d been very sensitive to their unfortunate situation up until Terzo’s arrival. Sure, he’d sent a few smug grins her way, but nothing like this. It was like her first couple of weeks all over again. His hip thrusts were directed at her once again, the winking was back, he was showing off his biceps every chance he got… The angel was startled out of her thoughts when Terzo’s hand wrapped around her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. His nimble fingers rubbed slow circles into her arm, grounding her with his presence.

She couldn’t help but think about what Terzo had said the night before. Jealous. What right does he have to be? She felt a pang in her heart. He had a point. As much as it hurt to admit it to herself, the ghoul had no claim over her. There was no shame in enjoying Terzo’s attention. She hardly knew the man, but he’d been so sweet to her in the short time since they’d met. He was handsome and charming, and while he was the catalyst for Aether’s sudden change in behavior, he was also a welcome distraction from it. She relaxed under his touch.

Swiss could see things were getting out of hand. Aether was overdoing it and pushing the girl away. He and Papa were hopeless when they tried to meddle with her heart. He’d thought they would have realized by now that being genuine was their best bet. But no. One ghost shows up, and suddenly everything they’d learned was out the window. He'd told Aether to roll his sleeves up, not strut around like a bird trying to impress a potential mate! Aether must have been desperate. She was falling right into Terzo’s trap, and Swiss had to intervene. Once the song they were playing ended, Swiss extended his hand to Ardis in a silent invitation to join him at his microphone. She hopped up and made her way to him with a smile on her face, Terzo temporarily forgotten behind her. The ex-pope shot the ghoul a quick glare before reassuming a neutral expression. Swiss ignored him. He was more than happy to be the girl's safe harbor as she tried to survive her last couple of weeks at the satanic church. He only hoped that singing at his side would be enough of a distraction from both Aether and Terzo.

It worked initially. The next few songs passed without any incidents. She focused her attention on her harmonies, and he managed to recapture her gaze with his silly dance moves whenever her eyes drifted to either of the other two men. However, his plan fell through when it was time to rehearse "Ritual".

"Still performing that old thing on tour, are you?" Terzo asked, a pleased grin on his face as he turned his attention to Ardis. "I used to sing that one too, you know."

Ardis’s eyes lit up. "You did?"

"I did indeed. During that Popestar tour a few years back. We’ve been singing it since Primo’s days, if you can believe it. Copia, would you mind if I did the honors?" he requested, already standing out of his seat.

Papa forced a smile and held out the microphone for him "Of course not. Please, be my guest." He knew he had to play along.

Ardis was clearly excited. She now knew from experience that her new friend had a lovely voice, and she was eager to hear more. Each musician prepared themself, and Papa took a seat against the back wall. He was nervous. Quite frankly, he didn't even want to look. The idea of Terzo trying to seduce Ardis made him squirm, and now he had a front row seat. He’d simply have to trust in Ardis’s steel will and her lingering crush on Aether.

Sodo started up the song, followed by Mountain and Aether, then finally Rain and the ghoulettes. Aether showed off a bit during his initial riff, eager to draw her attention before Terzo inevitably stole it away.

“Tonight, we’re summoned for a divine cause,” Terzo began, his voice ringing out strong. He had his eyes fixated on Ardis, singing to her. “Rememberance, no, but for their future loss.” Flirting was as natural as breathing for him, especially when he was performing. He knew exactly what to do with his expression and every single muscle in his body. Every time Ardis looked at him, he was staring directly into her eyes. It made her look away in embarrassment. She didn’t understand why he was choosing to perform like this, but it gave her butterflies.

Aether gritted his teeth. He wouldn’t sit idly by while Terzo went about his mission. The ghoul stepped closer to her, too. Ardis tried to focus on her harmonies as the first chorus rolled around, but found it difficult as both men seemingly vied for her attention. Her heart started to race. She didn’t like what was happening.

By the time the second chorus came around, Aether and Terzo were far too close for comfort. Aether flexing his arms, Terzo rolling his hips – Ardis was starting to feel trapped. The moment Terzo sang “to procreate the unholy bastard” with a few thrusts sent in her direction, the angel snapped. She couldn’t take this anymore. She abandoned her spot next to Swiss, slipped past the two men, and ran out of the rehearsal hall.

The music stopped abruptly. "Ardis!" Papa called after her, scrambling to get out of his seat. Terzo untangled himself from the leads, only a pace behind his successor as they tried to follow her out of the room. Aether was the last of the three out the door, slowed by needing to set down his guitar. By the time all three men had made it into the hallway, Ardis had seemingly vanished. Aether swore under his breath. He and Papa shared a helpless glance. They'd done it again.

Terzo pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. This was proving to be more complex than he anticipated. "Does she have a habit of taking off like this?" he sighed.

"She did it the first time I tried to kiss her," Aether admitted, guilt making his ears burn.

"Brilliant," Terzo huffed sarcastically. "I'm going to try to find her and calm her down. I suggest you do not intervene with my efforts further. You've made enough of a mess for one evening." He picked a direction to begin his search for the angel and started down the hallway.

Aether and Papa were momentarily frozen in place. This was bad. "We can't let him find her first," Papa said, taking the words from Aether's mouth. “If you find her, do whatever you must to regain her trust.” Papa and Aether took off in two different direction.

Ardis sat in the chapel's confessional, her knees hugged tight against her chest. The ornate wooden cabinet had two chambers, each with a door – one where Papa tended to sit, and the other for repentant parishioners. She was hiding in the confessors side, overwhelmed and wanting to be alone. Every now and then, she heard her name echo down the hallway or muffled from outside. She stayed put for what seemed like an eternity, not ready to face anyone. She was embarrassed for having reacted the way she did, but what choice did she have?

A stray tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with her sleeve. She couldn't understand why Aether was acting like this. Was his so-called jealousy over Terzo just an excuse to try to convert her again? For that matter, it seemed Terzo had certainly taken an interest in her. Was he in on it too? She didn't know what to believe or who to trust.

She was startled out of her thoughts when she heard the chapel door open. Ardis quickly dimmed her halo and wings, not wanting their light to shine through the lattice designs carved into the wooden confessional. The footsteps got louder and louder. She held her breath as the shadow paused outside of the confessional.

The door to the adjacent chamber opened and closed, and she heard someone sit down on the priest’s wooden bench with a sigh. "Ardis?"

Next: Chapter VIII

[ageofnations]

Chamomile // drw // Pt. VIII

Summary: Danny often feels overshadowed by his best friends and bandmates. You, however, can’t seem to get your mind off of him.

Paring: Danny × fem!reader

Word Count: ~3.7k

Warnings: fluff, little bit of jealous!Danny just because i felt like it...tears, talk of anxiety, slight angst but mostly fluff tho lmaoooo

A/N: i cannot begin to explain to yall how much i appreciate you all. your support on this fic has meant the world to me, and i appreciate you for sticking with me on this journey. i can't wait to show you guys what i have planned for other fics. i cried a lot while writing this. 'tis a bittersweet feeling, but an exciting beginning to new things. thank you again, and enjoy the final part of Chamomile

Series Masterpost

Part VIII

Things didn’t slow down after that night at the bar. Fans were celebrating the new album release and the tour that the boys had finally announced after weeks of hinting at through various posts. Management had been hounded by press and interviewers wanting to schedule interviews with any of the boys that they could, but especially Danny. 

He seemed to relax a bit and get used to the attention after his win was announced. What used to be anxiety and skittishness from people talking about his status turned into pride with slight bashfulness. He was staying quite humble with the new title as best drummer of the year, almost frustratingly so. You would teasingly bring it up in your conversations, referring to him as “royalty” or some equivalent, and he would brush it off with a laugh each time.

His humility was appreciated, though. He didn’t let it affect him to the point where he was cocky, but it did help his confidence while playing. He didn’t let it change how he acted toward his bandmates, and he definitely didn’t let it change how he acted with you. You were still his number one priority.

He spent the majority of his time with you. If you weren’t sleeping in his bed for the night, he was sleeping in yours. He had about a month before the first tour date, and he made sure to be around you as much as possible.

Today, you were laying on the couch in the band’s home. You had your legs stretched across Danny’s lap on the cushion beside you. He was scrolling through his phone with one hand and rubbing the soft skin on your ankle with the other. Per his request, you were helping him find more outfits to wear for each of the tour dates they had planned, so you also were scrolling through various sketches and shops that you saw online. Occasionally, you would turn your phone to him to ask what he thought, to which he would either nod his head with a smirk or shrug his shoulders noncommittally. 

Sam had disappeared into his room to play with a few riffs he had been working on. Jake was spending the day with his girlfriend, also trying to get as many dates in as he could before the tour started. You thought you’d get to do the same, hoping to spend alone time with Danny, even if it was to do something related to the band, but instead, Josh had joined you two in the living room, draping himself over the lounge closest to you. He also was looking at sketches for himself, and occasionally the other members, and showing them to you for your opinion. You wished you had known exactly when you became the stylist for the entire band and when you’d start getting paid for your help.

“What about this one, mama? For Daniel?” Josh said. The nickname took you by surprise, although it was not foreign for Josh to use for any one, especially you. 

“Uh-” You started as you turned your head to look at the image he had zoomed in on. Before you could even focus on the vibrant sketch, Danny spoke up.

“I don’t think I like the color,” he said pointedly. He seemed to have a sort of edge to his voice, much different than just seconds prior. It was the most he had contributed to the discussion about what he did and didn’t like out of the options you both had provided him with. What further perplexed you, however, is that Josh’s sketch was the exact same color as one of the few you had shown Danny that he had said he liked. 

Josh noticed the quick change in demeanor, the hints of malicious passive-aggressiveness as Danny looked away to continue aimlessly scrolling. He noticed the way he had instinctively tightened his grip on your ankles that were crossed under his hand. You, however, passed it off as the masculine urge of territorialism, something that arose from Josh’s use of the nickname and that would pass soon after it even started.

The room was filled with uncomfortable silence for the first time all day, and you wished you could find the right words to cut through the thick tension in the atmosphere. It seemed that Josh had mustered up enough courage to take on the task himself.

“You know what would be cool?” He said, almost hesitantly. You and Danny both turned your heads to him as you waited for him to continue. “You guys should wear matching outfits to the shows. Same color, same style, something. Even if the fans don’t see you, it makes for a cute picture!” 

He didn’t mean to make matters worse, but the suggestion definitely didn’t help the tension. 

Neither you nor Danny said anything, you just simply looked away from him and back to your phones, not fully taking in whatever was on the screens in front of you. You noticed the expression on Josh’s face drop into one of confusion and concern.

“What? What is it?”

You almost couldn’t bring yourself to speak, not wanting to rub salt in the wounds. You opened your mouth to answer, but he seemed to come to the conclusion by the time you could find the right words.

“You’re…not coming with us?” 

Your heart could have shattered into millions of pieces at the disappointment you heard in his words. You felt Danny resume rubbing circles on your ankle out of reassurance and desire to help ground you.

This was an incredibly touchy subject for you. Sure you wanted to travel the world with your best friends and boyfriend. You could only imagine how fun it would be to go on tour with them. They’d be sure to include you in each of their adventures and let you see as many behind-the-scenes experiences as you could. Being able to watch Danny perform his heart out every week, with the knowledge that he was leaving the venue with his arms wrapped around you…that is what you wanted, more than anything.

But the idea of not having the comfort of your own home, or homes, to go back to any time you wanted scared you. You had grown accustomed to routine for the most part. Being in a different city, a different state, every week…it was completely different than what you were used to. It was terrifying.

Not to mention the change of status you’d have to face every time you went somewhere. You were no longer just a friend of the guys’, but now you were a girlfriend. You knew the fans would want to interact with you too now, and that seemed overwhelming to you. Having strangers come up to you and ask to take a picture almost every time you go out. Seeing your face on all of the hashtags and trending topics. Being the topic of discussion in comment sections. You had already started to get a taste of all of that after their last performance, but this would be an everyday thing. You just didn’t know if you were ready for it. 

You and Danny had talked about it countless times, and he never once pressured you to come with them. But you could still hear the sadness in his answers each time. He wanted you with him. He promised he wouldn’t leave your side unless he absolutely had to, and even then, he would try to find a loophole to where you could stay near him. He knew it would be a change of pace for you, but he hoped he could be the source of comfort and familiarity for you. He made sure to listen to each of your concerns about the topic, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty for that reason alone. He was always so receptive to your worries, but it did very little to shift your decision. You wished you could change your own mind, for him. 

Josh had put the pieces together before you could answer again. He picked up on the way your shoulders tensed and the way Danny had frozen in place when he asked. He could read every bit of your body language. He tried to bite back his own sadness, not wanting to make it any harder on you both.

“Well, that sucks…but we will try to visit you as much as possible!” The forced nature of his optimism was evident, but you still appreciated it nonetheless. “Any off day we have, it goes to you. We’ll fly back in between dates if we have the time. I know Daniel couldn’t stay away from you for too long.” Josh shot a playful wink to Danny, who still seemed a little out of it from the topic being brought up. 

You doubted that it was a viable option for the group, but you could at least hope that you would still see them as much as he claimed.

– 

A week before the guys were set to fly out to start the tour, things started setting in. You were about to be mostly alone for the majority of the year. You knew Danny would call and text as much as possible, and hopefully come back for the holidays at least, but being away from him just meant you'd have more boring nights than you wished for. With the amount of time that you were about to have to yourself, you knew you needed to find something else to occupy yourself with. You figured getting a physical job to go to on a normal basis would help. You didn’t need the money whatsoever, especially since you still planned to sell your crafts in your online shop, but you knew you would need the distraction.

Danny had tried to tell you that he could get you a job at the place his sister works, but you declined, stating that you wanted to find one on your own. You wanted the accomplishment of getting a job you found yourself, but you also figured essentially working with a replica of your boyfriend would do little to distract you from the fact that he was no longer there. 

Instead of pushing the idea, he said he’d help in any way possible, opting to drive you to whatever business you wanted in order to get and complete applications. He wanted to make a day out of it, so you both decided to go to lunch and go shopping after you were finished with the job searching process. 

The car ride was fun in itself, and having Danny alongside you made it seem less nerve-wracking to go into each establishment and ask if they were hiring. Every time you’d come back to the car, he’d ask how it went and listen intently to assess if he needed to do any damage control. Afterward, he’d put on your favorite songs as he cruised to the next destination. 

After stopping at countless businesses, you decided it was time to call it quits for the day. Danny took you to a small diner for lunch where he ordered blueberry pancakes for the both of you because “Who said you can’t have pancakes at noon?” You two ate over small conversations about big plans for the tour before finally heading out to do some shopping.

He hadn’t been looking at much for himself the whole time you were walking through the strip mall. Honestly, neither of you were looking much. You just reveled in the time out in public with each other, hand-in-hand. The most he had gotten was a pair of sunglasses and a couple of sets of socks that he found. He had bought you a necklace and earring set that you had insisted was way too expensive, so you especially weren’t anticipating looking for anything else to buy. 

That is until a beautiful white sundress caught your attention in a shop’s window. Danny picked up on your infatuation with the dress before you could even say anything. He could see it in the way your eyes widened, how your breathing hitched slightly, how you automatically started to move towards the window and drag him behind you. You didn’t bring yourself to actually enter the shop, still set on not spending any more money for the day, but you stood in front of the display in the window, ogling the bright fabric of the garment.

“You’re drooling, Bip,” Danny teased. He laughed as you instinctively raised your hand to check if his words rang true, only to find that he was exaggerating. “You should try it on, though.”

You shook your head. “No way. If I actually like it, you’re not going to let me pay for it myself.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

You shot him a scolding glare, vacant of any malice. “You’ve spent enough money on me for the day.”

“Oh come on,” he whined and motioned for the door. “Just try it on. It’s gorgeous, and I want to see it on you.”

Embarrassingly enough, it didn’t take much more sweet-talking from him to convince you to actually go into the store, and once you were both inside, it was too late to back out. He had asked the attendant if they had your size in the dress, which she happily helped you find and open a dressing room for you. 

Once you had it on, you were slightly disappointed that you had already promised yourself that you wouldn’t buy it. The dress’s flowy fabric came just past your knees. The puffy sleeves hung slightly below your shoulders and were extremely comfortable. The outfit complemented you in all of the best ways. The pure white stood out and could gain the attention of anyone while also enhancing your complexion and highlighting your natural skin tones. Hints of cleavage were visible and your figure was accentuated while still remaining mostly modest. 

As you stood in front of the mirror in the dressing room, you twisted from side to side so you could admire the way the skirt fanned out around you. You couldn’t help doing a few twirls to fully get the experience. You felt beautiful, and you knew you looked good. 

“You gonna keep doing 360s or am I going to get to see how the dress looks on you?” you heard Danny call from the other side of the door. You giggled before you stalled your spinning, wobbling a little from dizziness.

You knew he’d like it as much as you did, if not more, but you still felt a little nervous to show him. You paused and took a deep breath before opening the door to reveal yourself to him. 

Just as yours had done when you first saw the dress on display, Danny’s eyes widened as he scanned over your body.

“Oh my god…”

You bit back a giggle at his response. You did another small twist and studied his expression with bated breath. “Well? What do you think?”

He huffed in awe. “What do I think? It looks absolutely amazing on you.” He ghosted his fingertips down your arms, still drinking in every bit of your appearance. He grabbed one of your hands and brought it over your head, twirling you around as if you were dancing together. He could have sworn that he fell even harder for you as he watched your cheeks grow a shade of peach with your giggles. “You look gorgeous, Bip.”

“Thank you, Danny,” you answered and gave him a sweet peck on the cheek. “But we’re still not getting it.”

“Whatever you say, love.” 

You grinned at him, glad that he hadn’t pushed to spend more money on you, but also a little sad that you would have to take the dress off. 

“Let me change before I run out of here with this thing on,” you joked, turning back to the dressing room you had originally occupied.

Danny stopped you and clutched onto your hand that he still clasped, tugging you back to face him. “Hey-”

You turned back to him, blushing at the affectionate smile he had still on his face as he looked down at you. 

“-I’m gonna marry you someday,” he finished.

You almost felt speechless, but you were incredibly endeared by the statement and the moment with him. The way he looked at you like he wouldn’t get to ever again. The way his hand was holding yours so tenderly. You felt alone in the universe with him, and it took a lot of effort to remind yourself that you were in a public place.

“Why not now?” The hesitation in your response made the question come out as a near whisper. You were only halfway joking, trying to match his boldness. “I’m already in a white dress, we could do it now.”

He kissed your forehead and let go of your hand so you could return to the dressing room. “Someday.”

– 

It came much too quickly. The day he would be leaving to be on the road for months on end. The day you both dreaded, but the day that you looked forward to for them. You were excited for them to continue their dream, but you wished you could have just a little longer with them. It was bittersweet.

You had driven Danny to the airport yourself, trying to soak up the last few moments you would have by his side. You didn’t say much, but he had occasionally broken the road noise by saying “I love you” as a reminder to you both. He wasn’t looking forward to this any more than you were, even if he was leaving to play for thousands of his beloved fans. 

Now you stood at the airport, saying your last few goodbyes. You started with the other boys by giving all of the hugs and well wishes you possibly could. You tried to absorb each of their scents and embraces, hopeful to embody at least a portion of them all while they were away. They meandered away from you and Danny to give you some space. They talked amongst themselves as they waited for the drummer.

You stood impossibly close to him, so close that you could feel his warm and gentle breath on your face. You hadn’t let the tears fall yet, but god were they close to doing just that.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” He sounded slightly hopeful, even though he knew the answer he hoped for was unlikely. 

You chuckled at his question. “It’s a little too late now, don’t you think?”

“We can catch a different flight. Or you could come with us now and I can just buy you a whole new wardrobe or something.” He clutched your hands tighter, praying that his offers and pleads would possibly convince you to join them.

Your pout and silence were enough of an answer to him. He knew how much you wanted to come with, and he could see the apologetic look in your eyes. He didn’t want to ruin your last few moments with his disappointment. 

“Well…before I leave,” he started. He released his grip on your hands and started to dig through his carry-on bag. He pulled out a small blue gift bag, a little wrinkled and bent from being in such a compact space, and a small wrapped gift box. “I got you a few things.”

You rolled your eyes at the gesture, but you took the gifts from him with a loving smile. “You know you didn’t need to do this, right?”

“Oh just open them,” he quipped with a smile that matched yours.

You handed him the box to hold while you rummaged past the tissue paper in the bag. As soon as your hand dove into it, you knew exactly what it was. You pulled out the white sundress that you had tried on a week prior, and the tears immediately started to fall. You let out a choked sob, one that made the others briefly turn to face you to make sure you were okay. 

Danny smiled and wiped the fast-flowing tears from your cheeks as much as he could. “I had already bought it before you tried it on. I ordered it and had it shipped to the house as soon as you went into that dressing room.” 

The gesture was incredibly sweet, so incredibly Danny, and you were yet again reminded how blessed you were to have him. You repeated many thank yous past the overwhelming happiness that you were feeling, and he held the box back out to you. You couldn’t imagine what other gift could top this one, and you eagerly put the dress back in its bag to grab the box from him.

The paper encasing the box was thin, and you assumed it was just the same tissue paper used in the gift bag. There was a sticker of a white flower that held the tissue together. You wondered if Danny had wrapped it himself or if he had gotten help from someone else.

As you started tearing through the paper, you started to see the writing on the box, and you successfully pieced the letters and fragments together long before you had the wrapping off of it. The hot tears were back soon enough, and you noticed your lover had started crying, too.

You focused on the green print on the box and traced your finger across it.

Chamomile tea bags: 20 count

You looked up at Danny with a watery smile. 

“For the times I’m not there to make it myself,” he said.

The hug was one of the last things you remembered. He held you tightly for as long as he possibly could. You both were shaking with the tears that flowed onto each other’s shoulders. He was repeatedly telling you how much he loved you and how much he was going to miss you. You had never felt so safe, so loved, and you regretted that you would have to pull away and go your separate ways. 

And as you watched him walk away, you regretted not throwing out all of your inhibitions and running after him.

You didn’t know that the regretful feeling would only get worse the longer you stayed away from him.

_

Read Marigold to pick up from here ;)

taglist: @gretavanflowerpower @joshkiszkas @teenagesublimefan @streamsofstardust @fireandsaltydogs @gretavanflipflop @kdarling1 @greta-van-chaos @stardustingold @the-chaotic-cow @tripthelight-fanfic @gretavancreep @gretavanfleas @weightofdreamz @myownparadise96 @loofypoofy @doodle417 @gmolszewski @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @hearts-hunger @s0livagant @stardustdanny

[astaroth1357]

The Brothers Catch the MC Dancing/Singing By Themselves

So long 2020!!! I’ve been listening to nothing but End-of-Decade Mashups and the 2010s was the decade of club bangers, so excuse me as I write a little happiness at the end of this shitty, shitty year.

Lucifer

Lucifer was in his secret study with the door closed which usually would block out a lot of distractions, but…

The MC was out in the library just blasting this… awful noise!!

Okay, maybe the noise wasn't awful - but as a classical music man, he had no use for the electronic bleep-bloops of whatever the hell they called "music!"

He had tried to put up with it for about an hour… but he had his limits. Soon enough he could feel his fuse dwindling to nothing and he just HAD to open up the door and tell the MC to keep it down!

He just wasn't expecting to find them dancing… while belting their heart out using a feather duster as a microphone…

Oh… wasn’t this amusing~?

For once, Lucifer decided that work could wait for a minute or two as he leaned against the doorframe to watch the MC do their thing, his smile could only be described as somewhere between being highly entertained and genuinely smitten with the off-key goofball in front of him...

The look went away real quick after the MC finally noticed he was there and dropped the feather duster like it was on fire. Shame… They were acting so cute before... 

He still had a knowing smile on his face when he asked them to turn their music down some, but he didn’t blow up at them or anything… What can he say? He enjoyed the show. 😏

Mammon

The MC has a nasty habit of singing under their breath when they’re bored. Mammon knew this, of course, and he never stopped straining to try and hear their quiet notes whenever he could...

It was hard to do since they had long trained themselves to keep it quiet in public, but he was certain that from what he could hear, he certainly wouldn’t mind listening to more!

The only exception was when they thought they were alone… like in their bedroom doing homework for example.

Mammon had just happened to pass by their bedroom door (and not going there directly just to bother them because he felt lonely or anything...) and heard something through the door…

It sounded like the MC but different… rhythmic and melodic… That was it!! They were singing!!!

He knew he had to be careful about this... If the MC realized he was listening, then they’d stop and leave him high, dry, and wanting more...

He had to push their bedroom door in incredibly gently so it wouldn’t make any noise… The House was old - okay scratch that, ancient - and all the doors have a creak to them if you’re not careful… but oh, was it worth it…

He knew, he just knew, that he would like their voice! Good or bad, it was all them! Why did they also sing so quietly?? He felt like he could listen for hours!

 And he just might have gotten the chance if he had been paying enough attention to notice that he was leaning ever closer into the doorway... The second those rusted hinges made a creak, the MC whipped around and snapped their mouth shut.

Busted...

Unfortunately, no amount of begging got the MC to start singing for him again, so he had to go back to the drawing board… Maybe he’d get to hear them again someday… right?

Leviathan 

Levi had been looking for the MC for some time now to see if they wanted to play a game with him but he wasn’t finding them in any of their usual hangouts… 

Their bedroom was the last place for him to check and when he stuck his head in he didn’t see them there… But he did heard the sound of running water from their personal bathroom.

He was going to leave, honest! He wasn’t going to be one of those creeps who listens to people shower (despite absolutely being perverted enough to do so) but he recognized a familiar riff coming from the room…

He knew it anywhere. It was from one of his favorite anime openings of all time!! And what’s more? He heard a new voice joining the singer like accompaniment… It was… the MC??

Levi could have probably fainted from delight right then. Even if the MC wasn’t as good at singing, the mere fact that they were singing that opening made his heart soar! Who doesn’t love to sing along to their favorite songs??

He probably should have thought a bit more before throwing the door open to belt out his favorite part like he did because, you know, even behind a shower curtain the MC was naked and definitely not expecting him... But, hey, for five whole seconds they sounded great together!

Annnnd then he ran out of the room, red-faced and shouting semi-mortified apologies right after he realized what he could have seen by doing that (*cough*nakedMC*cough*)... 

Poor Levi, but at least he just scored himself a new karaoke partner!

Satan 

You ever been so happy about something you just want to go for a run? Or even better, dance? That seemed to have been the case for the MC that day...

The MC’s least favorite subject had just had a test and they received their scores before leaving the classroom the next day. He knew they must have been anxious by how nervously they clutched their paper...

They had been getting tutoring help from him for weeks and it really must have paid off! Satan wasn’t able to catch up to them before they checked their score, but the way their face lit up was a good sign at least.

He was on his way to go congratulate them when… they started to dance. Right in the middle of the school. They kicked up the music on their phone then started dancing down the hallway like nothing could stop them!

It was such a random and carefree act that it frankly blew him away... You’d think a human in a school full of demons would be running, maybe even hiding, but certainty not dancing! What even was their human sometimes...?? 

He had to hold in some laughter to keep from getting noticed and just followed them down the hallways with a grin on his face and his phone in his hand…

He, of course, posted it to the brothers’ group chat and all of them got to see the wonderful view of the MC shaking their ass to their favorite song of all time… Oh, and they aren’t going to forget that, like, ever. Devious little shit...

Asmodeus 

Asmo loves to go clubbing so dancing is just an enjoyable pastime for this man, but he never thought that he’d end up dancing in a dressing room... 🤷‍♀️

He and the MC were on their weekly trip to Majolish and the MC was behind some curtains in order to try on a new outfit he put together for them. Usually during these times, Asmo waits out in front of their stall distracted by his phone, but this time he actually noticed something...

The MC’s feet. He could see them behind the gap of the curtain moving along to the music playing through the store’s speakers… So they liked this song, hm...?

Honestly, Asmo couldn’t help himself. He ended up getting up from his seat and pulling back the curtain a tiny crack just to see what the MC was doing in their stall... Thankfully, they were already dressed, but they were indeed dancing by themselves hidden just out of his sight...

Now, how could he let them dance all by their lonesome~?

Asmo slipped into the stall himself and caught the MC by the hips, frankly any protest they might of had didn’t really last long as he guided their body along with his. 

It was far from their first time dancing together and it always felt amazing when they did… Their every move fit together perfectly like a call and response and it didn’t take long for them to get lost in the music.

Eventually, a store employee began to wonder why they were in there for so long and eventually found two sets of feet in one stall… Really, they got off lucky, because knowing Asmo it was kind of amazing that dancing was all he was doing back there!

Asmo was a far too valuable customer for the store to kick out, so the two of them just got a warning not to do it again but man was it worth it… 

The MC has to wear that outfit to their next club. No exceptions!! 😌

Beelzebub

You know, sometimes you just got a rhythm and beat in your soul and it pops out at the most random times… like in the middle of cooking!

Beel was coming into the kitchen looking for yet another snack for the day when he caught the MC already in there baking and… dancing?

They had their phone out to play music while they worked, hips swaying to the beat. Hell, everything they were doing was set to that pace! Every flick of the whisk and stir of the batter was just a part of their private dance sequence.

For a second, he had to wonder if he had just stepped into a musical or something? Dancing while cooking? He hadn’t seen any of his brothers mix those things before… but it worked?? Like, they made it look natural and even a little fun!

Just imagine the look on the MC’s face when Beel came up behind them and pulled them into a twirl behind the counter. It caught them so off-guard that a bag in their hands slipped and covered them both in powdered sugar!

Not that Beel cared about the mess because he just licked his lips clean and told the MC not to stop what they were doing... Which was how the others found them both covered in sugar and moving to the beat while the MC was icing the cake they just finished. 🤷‍♀️

Lucifer ended up lecturing them both about being more careful in the kitchen but they were too busy sneaking smiles to each other to pay much attention... 

Sometimes the music just moves you, you know?

Belphegor 

Belphie very rarely gets up from his naps without a little help. Sure, even his body needs to wake up eventually, but it normally takes some kind of outside force to drag him back to the world of the living...

So imagine his surprise when he seemingly woke up for no reason in the middle of his afternoon nap with MC… Or well, he thought there wasn’t reason, until he started paying more attention.

The MC was cuddled up to him like usual, but he could feel a hum against his arm that was coming from their chest. Steady and slow… almost soothing.

When he finally heard a noise in the air - equally soothing as the humming and in time with the vibrations - he put two and two together… Were they singing right now?

Belphie kept himself very still and pretended to be asleep just to check his suspicions and… yeah. He could hear the MC softly singing a human world song under their breath.

Must have been a testament to how besotted this cow man was with them that even hearing their voice that quietly could pull him out of his dreams. 

Eventually, Belphie just had to roll over and pull them up against his chest so he could hear them better... Of course, his movement just made them stop, but any idea that they were off the hook got swept away when they heard him grunt:

“Hey, you woke me up… Don’t stop now.”

Let’s hope they know a good lullaby or two...

[leossmoonn]

Can you do where the reader is singing in the shower and stefan walks in and hears you sing for the 1st time and he's just obsessed 🥺💖

(Btw love your writing 🥺✨💖)

yes, this is such a cute idea! and thank you so much :))

masterlist

pairing - stefan salvatore x gn!reader (tbh i was gonna include something that would make it fem, but after i got done writing it i realised i didn’t include it at all, so i made it gender neutral!) 

type - fluff

warnings / includes - mild language, you getting embarrassed and throwing deodorant at him. italics is your voice when stefan is listening 

————

“Baby you’re highlight of my lowlife. Take a shitty day and make it all right.” You sang softly as you lathered your body in soap, scrubbing your skin so it was clean from all the supernatural activities you had taken apart of. 

“Oh, in every circumstance. Yeah, you make the difference. Baby you’re the highlight of my lowlife.” You finished the song with a little riff you had made up on the spot. You rinsed your body, basking in the warmth, letting the water relax your muscles that you had been using to throw arrows and knifes. 

“I got a man, but I want you. I got a man, but I want you. It’s just nerves, it’s just dick. Makin’ me think ‘bout someone new…”

Stefan furrowed in his brows as the dulcet tones of your voice awoke him. Of course, he didn’t know it was you specifically. He sat himself up on his elbows, using his vampire hearing to try and single out your voice. 

“And you’re right. You’re right, I got my guy. But I, I can’t help it. I want you…”

His eyes widened in surprise and he got up, following your voice to the bathroom. He creaked the door open, quickly closing it so you wouldn’t see him. But you didn’t hear the noise, your music, singing, and the shower all drowning out the sound. He nudged the door open a tiny bit, poking his head in and setting his eyes on you. He smiled widely as you saw you dancing and singing, using the loofah as a microphone. 

“But this sex would cloud your memory. A couple strokes to put it in, then you belong to me...”

His brows raised in pleasurable surprise as your voice carried off the note so smoothly. Your voice raised a few pitches, going off into the next few lyrics. He didn’t do anything else but lean against the door frame, staring in awe as you sang the next song. 

“Oh, I’m scared if I look into your eyes, I might see your soul...”

The rich, sultry tones of your voice resonated through the bathroom, bouncing off the walls and flowing through Stefan’s ears like a lullaby. He fell into a trance then, paying no attention to Elena, who walked into his room, looking for some makeup that you had borrowed the other week. 

“Hey, Stef, do you know where Y/n put my eyeliner?”

Stefan didn’t answer her. He just waved her off as he listened to you with a star-struck smile. 

“Stefan?” Eleną frowned, walking over to him and poking him. “Did you hear —”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s somewhere,” Stefan spoke quickly, not tearing his gaze from you. 

Elena raised a quizzical brow, peering into the bathroom, her mouth coming into an ‘o’ shape in realisation. She smiled and awed. “She has a beautiful voice, right?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe I haven’t ever heard it before. And we’ve been together for a year. And I’ve known her for three.” He turned his attention to Elena for a few moments. 

“She usually sings in the car with the girls and I. I wonder why she’s never shown you. She’s very proud of her talent.” 

“Well, I found out. Nothing she can do to hide it now,” Stefan grinned, turning back to you. His dead heart soared in his chest as he saw your head tilt back into the water. Your mouth opened, singing softly, but also projecting. You looked and sounded like angel. Stefan was sure had never been so obsessed with someone before. 

Elena smiled at him, walking away quietly to leave you two. You still hadn’t notice the two, much less Stefan, standing and admiring you. You were in your own little world, pretending you were on a big stage, singing to all your fans. Your friends would be in front, cheering for you the loudest out of everyone. And Stefan would be next to you on stage, taking advantage of his dance classes he took as a boy, spinning you around and singing with you as his voice was also a treat to listen to. 

“When you told me you didn’t need me anymore. Well you know I nearly broke down and died…”

Your voice changed from silky smooth to raspy and more free. You sang the Beetles’s “Oh! Darling”. A song that Stefan didn’t think you would ever sing because of the soft, controlled, and clear voice you had been projecting all this time. But here you were, impressing Stefan even more by doing a completely different genre, and crushing it, of course. 

You reached down into your throat, growling on some of the words, adding riffs and making the song fun and filled with emotion. You were using your whole body to perform, spinning around, stomping your feet on the ground, bowing your head down and bringing it up to make the song more dramatic. Your voice was still clear and controlled, impressively so. You hit each note perfectly. The high-highs and the low-lows. 

This was one of Stefan’s favourite songs from the 60s. He didn’t even realise he had started singing with you, accompanying your voice in harmony, when you stopped singing. Your head turned to his, eyes widening to fear and shock as you hoped he hadn’t been standing there the whole time. Stefan stopped singing at once, his face twisting in confusion as he didn’t hear your voice anymore. He looked to you, pulling an apologetic smile together. 

You opened the shower, immediately wrapping a towel around your body as you stepped out. 

“W-Where you listening this whole time?” You asked. 

“I was,” he nodded. “You shouldn’t be ashamed or anything, I —”

“Get out!” You yelled, pointing to the door. Your body was hot and shaking with anger and embarrassment - mostly embarrassment. Your grabbed a bottle of deodorant, throwing it at him in hopes that that would get him out. But of course, it didn’t. He caught it with ease, setting it down beside him. 

“Y/n, I swear, I —”

“Stefan, please!” You begged. 

Stefan shook his head, walking up to you. He took your wrists into his hands firmly, but gently, bringing you close to him. You rolled your eyes, adverting your gaze from him. He put one of his hands under your chin, lifting your head so your eyes would meet his. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you could sing?” He asked softly.

“I dunno,” you mumbled. “It’s not something worth telling.” 

Stefan scoffed, not believing your words. “Liar. Elena said you were very proud of your singing voice.”

“You talked to Elena?” You brows raised. “Only for a second. She came in to look for something. Anyways, why are you being so modest?” He asked. 

You shrugged. “I guess I just get shy around you. I don’t know.” 

Stefan grinned at your explanation, thinking you were the cutest thing in the world. “You’re usually not, you know.”

“I know, but this is different.” 

“Well, I don’t think so. And I think you sound beautiful. Like, seriously. I don’t know if you noticed, but I was practically drooling.” 

You giggled, “I did notice. Your reaction gave me butterflies, you know.” 

“Well, good. You know, if you ever want to sing me to sleep or something, go ahead. I don’t care. Or sing while I’m doing work. That would be good, too,” he suggested. 

“Hm, alright. You gonna pay me, though? I don’t sing for free. I charge a hundred dollars per song.” 

Stefan laughed, “How about a hundred hugs and kisses?”

You pursed your lips, pretending to be deep in though. You looked into his eyes, smiling widely. “I guess that could work.”

“I’m glad. Now, I need to shower, too. Would you like to be my music?” Stefan asked. 

“I would love to.” 

————

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[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x3 thoughts

Brendan Hunt confirmed on Twitter that the writers wrote the first three episodes of the season with the intention of releasing them on the same day, just as they dropped the first three episodes of season one on the same day. Having finally watched the first three over three different weeks, I really wish they’d been able to launch all three on the same day. I really liked the first two episodes of the season, but the third episode really puts a lot of things into context. Between the political storyline, the return of Sassy (and a bit of a level-setting conversation between Sassy, Rebecca, and Ted) and Rebecca’s navigation of her professional life as an all-in club owner and her experience reconnecting to Nora...all of that feels like we’re done setting up the season now. Exposition complete—and to the writers’ credit, all three of these episodes are far more than exposition. A lot of story has happened.

So much so that this week’s installment has categories.

Sassy and Ted and Rebecca

Hahahahahahahahahaha

No, seriously though, I love that they are mature adults about this and I also love that Ted is Uncomfortable and, to be perfectly honest, I like that Sassy’s aggressive unfilteredness becomes an opportunity for the show to venture into more sexual references and humor about characters other than Keeley and Roy. It was a lot of information!

I’ve seen a couple of people express disappointment that Ted seems weirded out by Sassy discussing Nora’s impending first period, but I didn’t get the impression that he was grossed out by periods. There is a lot going on! Nora is right outside the room with the door open and Sassy has run through a lot of very personal topics! I felt like his reaction was more about the proximity issue in specific and the personal nature of the conversation in general more than anything else.

So many thoughts about the intersection between the biscuits and this conversation that it had to go in its own post.

Nora!

I LOVE Nora. I want every episode of this show to be about her. I want this sitcom to be called Nora Collins.

I love that Nora’s a little bit sassy (pun on her mother’s nickname only lazily intended) in the way a thirteen-year-old can be, but also enthusiastic about spending time with Rebecca and genuinely interested in meeting everyone her godmother knows. Rebecca genuinely hurt Nora, but Nora can clearly see that Rebecca is all-in on their mended relationship, and that gives her the space to be a bit teasing. She knows Rebecca’s weaknesses and has a little fun (the cooking joke when Rebecca offers to make popcorn?!) but also isn’t going to manipulate her or take advantage.

The British doll company and all the riffs on American Girl dolls, OMG. So good.

Like literally everyone, I am extremely into Rebecca and Roy actually being friends and exchanging words with each other this season. Now everyone in the group of four mains have had some great conversational moments with each other this season (I count Ted and Keeley being into Sharon’s bike as a great conversational moment, OK?!), with the exception of Roy and Ted. Cannot wait for that.

During the photo op with the team, Sassy and Rebecca remark on how Nora is loving and hating having her picture taken with Sam and the rest of the players, and that is THE experience of being thirteen years old, and Kiki May does an incredible job infusing all of Nora’s moments with the right proportions of enthusiasm to cringe. Thirteen years olds are constantly cringing but still full of spirit and life, and at constantly changing ratios, and Nora is the perfect embodiment of that.

My heart melted during the email-writing scene. Rebecca’s writing the email on Nora’s computer! In the guest room where her goddaughter is staying! They’re wearing pajamas! And Rebecca’s smile is so genuinely huge and delighted when she signs it “boss ass bitch.”

Led Tasso and Jamie’s Redemption

This was so stupid and I loved it so much. I love that Ted’s angry alter ego is absurd rather than scary, kind of like a parody of how worked up some men get over sports. I wonder if Led Tasso’s appearance in some way foreshadows a more uncontrolled, genuine anger from Ted in a later episode, because this Led Tasso dude is ridiculous.

Tentative kudos to Led Tasso for being able to point out the, ahem, clit of the soccer ball even from within a fugue state.

The entire Chuck E. Cheese exchange with Sharon was so hilarious and wonderful.

When Ted has the idea to bring out Led Tasso, Nate assumes he’s going to suggest that Jamie talk to Sharon. I absolutely adore the implication that Jamie’s growth over this episode is attributable to both Led Tasso and Sharon Fieldstone. Because while some players are still unmoved by Jamie’s willingness to stand up to Led, it didn’t go unnoticed! And then I was so proud of Keeley for refusing to take on the emotional labor of listening to Jamie when she was too busy with her actual job, and I felt that Jamie’s pretty immediate willingness to see what the therapy thing was all about was extremely in line with his character. He’s always seeking out Keeley to talk, and sometimes he actually means “talking” when he asks to talk with her! Jamie feels like someone who’s standing at a wall of doors, knocking on each one, trying to see what sticks. He really lacks foundation. I’m curious to know what he and Sharon spoke about in their session, but I like that the writers left the session private. The knowledge that he’s started seeing a psychologist is valuable information in and of itself, and Jamie’s decision to act in solidarity with Sam and the other Nigerian players is the perfect evidence that he’s thinking in new ways.

Sam and Dubai Air

Toheeb Jimoh is always great, but he’s so great in this episode. It’s cool to see his demeanor, pacing, and confidence shift as he becomes more at home with the team—and it’s also lovely to see that he, unlike Jamie, very much has a strong foundation in his home country, his supportive parents, his own moral center.

I like that Sam didn’t spend a bunch of time and emotional labor on teaching Jamie why caring about other people (and the environment!) matters, because that would’ve undercut the other political messages in this episode. Sam’s leading by example and everyone can either catch up or stay out, and it’s really great.

I really like the way they handled the press conference with Ted and Sam. I like that Ted gave the floor to Sam but prefaced that with very brief (for once!) remarks of his own. And I appreciated that Ted acknowledged his position of privilege, and that the angle isn’t that bad things never happen to white dudes but rather that when bad things do happen to people like Ted, it gets attention with so much less effort than when bad things happen to people who aren’t white men. Because that’s how privilege works—it’s not a shield that prevents bad things from happening to you, but it’s a safety net that ensures people will notice and address and even pitch in to take care of your bad things, often at the expense of the people who lack that privilege.

There’s probably lots of other stuff I could talk about, like the hilariously and realistically bad usernames on Bantr and Keeley brushing her snacks off the desk and into her purse and how things between Beard and Jane are clearly very, very bad and I’m worried about Beard and how it was soooo fun and lovely to see Shannon teasing Ted again (little coffee and football rituals before work are the kinds of details I absolutely live for) and HIGGINS PRETENDING REBECCA SENT HIM A BRILLIANT AND HEROIC EMAIL (which she does for real with Nora’s help just a couple scenes later!) and how delighted I was to feel that by this episode this season has really hit its stride and feels like a fully lived-in portrayal of the energized, loving, imperfect, busy, full place that is the whole AFC Richmond community. Honestly, Higgins pretending Rebecca sent that email because he wants to make her look good in front of her granddaughter is kind of the perfect encapsulation of what this episode felt like. This is a show about a bunch of imperfect people who want each other to succeed.

Edited to add: I was delighted to find out Ashley Nicole Black was writing for the show and the writing here did the opposite of disappoint! ❤️

[1ddotdhq]

🎤Wed 9 Dec ‘20❄️

LOUIS!!!!!! I am posting this from beyond the dead because Louis’ trailer KILLED MY MIND! But THEN, it brought my body back to life because I HAVE to be around on Saturday to see this show go down. NEW LOUIS SONGS!!!! I AM NOT READY!!! First Eleanor kicked off promo for the livestream day by modeling Louis' purple Balenciaga windbreaker for us with a caption about her “BF”. I mean, it’s a look! No dogs today tho :(. Oddly though after posting herself in the outfit and saying that she was going to go out in the get up, she didn’t! Changed right back into her own clothes after all. Just like how Louis liking her post a few weeks ago was the first sign of action, this too was an indication NEW THINGS COMING! And boy, did they come! After Louis this posted his fifteen (15) second long clip, which included at least one full second each of an as of yet untitled song, KMM, Too Young, Walls, and a badass unidentified riff by Michael Blackwell (POP OFF, dude)! Louis was NOT done there though; fans were wondering what the unfamiliar songs in the trailer were. In what seemed to be a hint, Louis tweeted “copy of a copy of a copy”, which, when googled, turned up with two musical results. The only one that matters is the song ‘Copy of A..’ by Nine Inch Nails (“I am little pieces. Pieces that were picked up on the way, invented with a purpose, a purpose that's become quite clear today”). According to the band, this song is about breaking out of an image that no longer fits you: “How dare you have the audacity to not perform in the role you have been placed in”. Nine Inch Nails has also been really vocal about the importance of artistic freedom and the struggle to maintain it in the face of label interference, which I’m sure Louis can relate to. But! It turned out the untitled song that fans were wondering about isn’t ANY of these, it is, instead a “New song. Not a cover!” according to Louis himself! Let’s be clear: this does not mean that he WASN'T tweeting that lyric about doing a Nine Inch Nails cover, just that the snip in the teaser ISN’T ‘A Copy of A…’. Okay guys, I didn’t say this when the show came up, but now I will: I am IN LOVE with 12/12!! Last year, we got Fine Line on the 12th, and THIS year, we get BRAND! NEW! LOUIS! SONGS!!!!!!! This is one trend that is welcome to keep continuing!

And, for the TRUE piece de resistance: LOUIS’ HAIR! It is long long long, and slightly curly at the ends, and “HIS HAIR” (in all caps) was trending under “Beauty” immediately after the trailer was released. As it SHOULD! It’s BEAUTIFUL! And, in the middle of all of this, we got pictures of Louis from outside his rehearsal studio two weeks ago - OP said he said not to tell anyone about his hair, so they posted them the second after the trailer went up like “well if HE'S showing everyone..' They also scribbled out his hand. People asked does he have a new tattoo?? A ring?? Nope! It seems that he was probably holding a beer, which was edited out because yes certainly fans should jump in to take on the role of 1D management circa 2011 and preserve Louis' squeaky clean teen idol image! If Louis didn't want to be photographed with something he wouldn't come out to do fanservice holding it, give me a break, you really think he's sharing actual secrets with you? Grow up! Anyways, while on twitter Louis followed Isabella Signs, who he met through the charity work that she does for her younger brother. She has a YouTube channel by the same name and does A LOT of really cool SSE (Sign [language] Supported English) covers of all the boys plus 1D, check her out!

The Naughty List music video is OUT! It is a #quarantinevideo made with the green screen that Liam talked the other day about having had set up in his living room for days and how much he disliked that. It features Liam in a Snow Globe and Dixie and her friends dancing in a photobooth in colorful outfits (Liam in a red sequin vest with nothing underneath anyone?), pastel and glittery backgrounds, and lots of Christmas cheer! More than Liam had today, that’s for sure! Dixie loves Christmas, but Liam said that if it wasn’t for his son “pfft, Christmas can pass me by” in the joint live Liam/Dixie did to introduce the video. Steve the Manager (who made Liam’s naughty list for “making him work today”) spent most of the time feeding Liam questions for Dixie and trying to keep him on track. Liam and Dixie shared stories of Christmas presents (Dixie’s best Christmas was when she got a four wheeler), who made their Naughty List this year (Dixie: No one, Liam: “NIALLLL” - no he did not say why), and if they’d ever been kissed under the mistletoe (Dixie was when she was 12, Liam has not yet because he’s “a loonneeelyyyy boyyyy”, but then went on to say, “Mayaaaa you gotta kiss me under the mistletoe!!” so I guess that’s that).  Steve the Manager kept cutting Liam off before he could even TRY to do his Harry voice, so we didn’t get any of that, but we did get a nice solo Liam alarm to wake up to this morning, where he did a meditative bit and reminded people that it’s almost Friday!! And he's added some signed Naughty List single CDs to his store and merch! Really cute hoodies-- I'm not personally sure I want my chest to say Naughty List all over it but Liam can work it and it is a cute design. He also went on a radio show (not Roman’s) to promote Naughty List and revealed that he had NOT done any Christmas shopping yet, which IMMEDIATELY put him on their naughty list. Not to worry Liam, I think you’re still pretty nice!

And my favorite larrie is BACK: we got a sneak peek of Harry’s Jingle Ball set and, surprise, surprise, it’s the pre-recorded set with the Free Nationals! The description is, “Harry Styles and the Free National light up an LA backyard celebration with a hit-stacked set”. So, uh, I guess he’s not going to be playing in front of a blank wall - it’ll be a garden with a camper van, little blue flags, and fairy lights strung up. His shirt matches the small flags in being That Color Blue, and my one and only prediction for the set is that he’ll be covering Blue Christmas. I gotta say that I have NEVER seen anyone as dedicated to that - or ANY color - as Harry is. He still hasn’t popped up anywhere, but this is EXCITING! A new Fine Line set!!

Zayn made Martyre’s Instagram story again, and though you STILL can’t see his face, it’s his neck this time instead of his hands! I think that he’s meant to be modeling the necklace he’s got on, but the picture is too blurry for me to make it out. Alas. Anyways, I’d love to see some pictures of his FACE if Martyre has those? Please? Meanwhile, Niall promoted  a beloved Doncaster native musician... no it was Yungblud! On Instagram, of course: he did tell us he wasn't going to be on twitter for a while! 

[letterboxd]

Chaotic Bisexual.

Shiva Baby writer-director Emma Seligman tells Ella Kemp about expanding her wildly cringey short film into an even more anxiety-inducing feature, why Virgo and Taurus make the perfect producing pair, and the eternal conflict of being a good Jewish girl.

“If I can skip a bris to see E.T., I like movies!” —Emma Seligman

It sounds like a strange riff on a guy-walks-into-a-bar joke: a girl walks into a shiva and bumps into her secret ex-girlfriend, then her sugar daddy, then his shiksa wife, oh, and their baby—yet the payoff is so much more rewarding.

Filmmaker Emma Seligman’s debut feature is a new kind of teen classic: 78 non-stop minutes teeming with well-drawn traits and tropes that define the best coming-of-agers, the best Jewish comedies and the best day-in-a-life psychological roller-coasters.

Shiva Baby began as a grad project—a short film of the same name—and Seligman’s feature-length embellishment impressed at last year’s virtual editions of SXSW and TIFF, where it was quickly snapped up for international distribution. In a way, Shiva Baby was perfectly tailored to the times we were living in: Danielle, our reluctant heroine, is trapped in a claustrophobic family event she can’t escape, as people from her past and lies about her future make their way deep under her skin.

Fred Melamed, Rachel Sennott and Polly Draper in ‘Shiva Baby’.

Shiva Baby is very much the product of a wry school of emerging filmmakers who understand excruciatingly mundane horror and pin-sharp comedy as intimate bedfellows. Seligman’s writing finds a way to flesh out gloriously caricatural Jewish relatives, probing and overbearing and irrational. She does this both through dialogue and a visceral, haptic aesthetic that lurches in and out of focus visually, and has a nails-on-chalkboard unease sonically.

Coming in hot with a 4.01 average rating, Shiva Baby is striking all sorts of discordant notes with film lovers. “Combines some of my biggest anxieties: being asked if I have a boyfriend as well as what my plans for the future are and people talking with their mouths full,” writes Muriel.

The film’s “bisexual chaos”, which hinges on a haywire performance from Rachel Sennott as Danielle, opposite Molly Gordon’s overachieving ex-girlfriend, Maya, is also one of its great strengths. Glee star Dianna Agron is the shiksa threat, Kim, while Danny Deferrari is Danielle’s hapless benefactor, Max. If that’s not enough? Polly Draper, Fred Melamed and Jackie Hoffman are also just there.

What do you think defines a Jewish sense of humor? Emma Seligman: It’s morbid usually, and darker—generally uncomfortable and cringeworthy. I think about Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld, and A Serious Man. It borders on, “Is this funny at all?” I think Jewish humor leans into the darkly funny British sense of humor. I’m Canadian, so I feel like I’m halfway between the UK and the US in terms of their sense of humor.

Was it always your intention to make a comedy that feels like a bit of a nightmare? You’ve mentioned Black Swan and Opening Night as touchstones… Because I came from a short film, the question when expanding into a feature was, “How are we going to keep everyone interested in this day?” It’s got to be a significant day, it’s got to be that this young woman’s life has completely changed from this day. So what is it that changes? Why are we watching it? I watched a lot of movies that took place in one day, one of them was Trey Edward Shults’ first film Krisha. And then from there I realized that anxiety and this scary psychological feeling is a great way to have the audience stay there.

I watched Opening Night because there’s a shiva in it, but it was more the lobby scenes that were so claustrophobic and tense. And then each step of the way with each department, we were like, okay, it’s gonna be tense, but then we got to music, I was like, okay, this has become a full nightmare. Initially, I was just like, it’s got to be tense, but by the end, I was like, well, it does feel like a nightmare to a young woman sometimes.

Because you mention that, I have to ask whether you’ve seen Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade? I have, it’s incredible. It’s so funny, they’re both coming-of-age [films], and one of them is about a fourteen year old and then the same sort of feeling exists when you’re 22. When you’re fourteen is when it begins, and when you’re 22 you’re sort of at the end of it and you’re like, “Oh, I thought I figured out what I was supposed to do when I started feeling insecure this way at fourteen about sex and boys.”

Diana Agron and Danny Deferrari in ‘Shiva Baby’.

Let’s talk about Rachel Sennott, who you have describe as your “Virgo rock”. What do you bring one another in your creative partnership? She’s a hustler, and she sets goals like nobody else. I think she moves very fast, and I’m more detail-oriented. I don’t know if the movie would have happened without her because she was like, “What are the goals to achieve this film?” After we made the short film, she just kept checking in with me. She goes well beyond what an actor does, which is why she’s an executive producer, because she was very, very invested in seeing the movie get made.

I think she pushes. We joke that she brings me out of my depression and I help calm her down. I feel like Taurus is a little more chill. Virgos are also earth signs, but they run on a faster frequency. So I think I calm her down, especially when we’re writing and bringing it back to structure. But she’s way funnier, she’s able to give jokes so quickly. We balance each other perfectly, for sure.

Do you think your partnership with Rachel is the kind of partnership you could see yourself maintaining throughout your career? Definitely. I think it’s important to have a good friend and also a young woman. She’s got different career goals from me, but they’re aligned. And we’re not in competition with each other. I feel so grateful because so much of the time I feel like the world does make you feel like you’re in competition with your friends that are trying to do the same thing as you when you’re a young woman—or just maybe in general.

Rachel Sennott and Danny Deferrari in ‘Shiva Baby’.

Her character in Shiva Baby completely subverts the idea of a “nice Jewish boy/girl” which can be a trope in movies, but also very much a real thing in life. Is that something you consciously wanted to subvert, or did it come organically from the story you wanted to tell? I wanted to contrast that idea of a “nice Jewish girl” because every nice Jewish girl or boy has a sex life. I felt the sort of nice Jewish girl stressors on me were completely opposite from the NYU art school sugaring worlds, and hookup culture broadly. My family is such a huge part of my life and I think that those two sets of pressures are completely contradictory; to be a good girl or boy and have a stable career ahead of you, and to be finding, even if it’s at the very beginning, your eventual partner, or to just be in a relationship. And I felt like in school, no one wanted to date, everyone was hooking up. So many of my friends are sugar babies. I tried it super, super briefly.

I felt like the world was telling me to be like “an empowered, independent, sexy woman who doesn’t care what anyone thinks of her, and doesn’t abide by any rules”, and I was like, “This is the opposite of being a nice Jewish girl!” And I just felt like those two things were screaming at me. So I did want to play on that. But I don’t even think it’s playing, just because that felt like what I was trying to battle within myself. And I think a lot of young people do, whether they’re Jewish or not. That’s their family’s expectations. And then the world is like, “But don’t care and don’t commit…”

Writer-director Emma Seligman. / Photo by Emma McIntyre

But then you still have to go home to your parents at the end of the day and they’re going to tell you what to do… Exactly.

What would you want viewers to take away from Shiva Baby about the sugaring community that you feel has been maligned in the past? I’m not a sex worker, so I don’t want to speak on behalf of this community, but I definitely feel like there hasn’t been many positive portrayals of sex workers. So I just wanted to show someone—because I knew so many friends of mine who did it—who enjoyed it, or purposefully did it and didn’t feel bad or shameful about it. I think maybe a lot of people think that it’s always something that comes out of dire circumstances. But whether that is the case or not, I think there’s a lot of people who enjoy it and enjoy what they do like any other job. So I just hope that they’re able to sort of widen their scope of what a sex worker looks like and acts like. Every sex worker has got a family, friends, a full robust life, as we all do.

It’s time for your Life in Film questionnaire. Can you give me a few must-watch Jewish films for people who don’t know where to start? Fiddler on the Roof, Yentl, Keeping the Faith, Kissing Jessica Stein, A Serious Man. Definitely Uncut Gems, and Crossing Delancey.

Shiva Baby has been described on Letterboxd, variously, as “Uncut Gems but make it chaotic bisexual”, “the most stressful Jewish movie since Uncut Gems”, “the chaotic successor of Uncut Gems”, “if Krisha and Uncut Gems had a baby”, and, of course, “Uncut Gems for hot Jewish sluts”… Amazing, I love that. Extremely nice comparison.

Who is your favorite promising young woman? Not Emerald Fennell’s film, but a young creative or performer who you think is making waves. I love Hari Nef—I think she’s amazing and am really excited to see what she does next. I loved her so much in Transparent and Assassination Nation, and I don’t understand why she hasn’t been the lead in a million movies.

Molly Gordon with Rachel Sennott in ‘Shiva Baby’.

What should people watch next after Shiva Baby? Those Jewish movies would be a great start. And then Krisha, although I think a lot of people have seen it especially if they’re on Letterboxd! But then those Jewish romantic comedies, and then Obvious Child, all those movies are very sweet and endearing and helped me make it.

Separate from film, if it’s shiva-related then Transparent. If I didn’t have Transparent I don’t think I would have seen world of grounded, nuanced Jews that I could do comedy with. It would have been more in the Curb vein, which is also amazing, but a little more schtick.

What was the first film that made you want to be a filmmaker? My parents are huge movie buffs so I’m not sure there was one moment, but I will say that when I was six there was a re-release of the 20-year anniversary of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and I was at a horribly packed bris and my uncle was like, “Fuck this, there are so many people here, I can’t even breathe. Let’s go see E.T.” That was the first moment where I was like, if I can skip a bris to see E.T., I like movies.

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Shiva Baby is now in select theaters and on VOD in the US. Film stills by Maria Rusche.