#but... idk kinda want to save that for a rainy day

[nordsea-horizons]

da for my normcore island petrichor💛🪴

[symphonic-scream]

So uh here's some Okujima slash Makoharu from my Chaos Arcana swap

They're were classmates back in middle school, not really friends but two quiet kids who'd spend time together. Little Makoto had the biggest baby gay crush on Haru, so she was hella awkward around her as well

In their first year both became very isolated due to Kamoshida's meddling. Haru wasn't getting close to people out of fear that he'd stay true to his word and use his info to destroy her dad's company, and everyone was avoiding Makoto to avoid similar rumours spreading about them

Makoto sees Haru as they pass in the halls over the years and. Just like with the other girls she knows Kamoshida is tricking, she wishes she could do something to put an end to it, to get rid of that hollow look in their eyes

And she does get her chance, when an odd, tall, thin boy comes to their school. People say he killed someone, that he robbed a bank, they say lots of things. But he wants to help, and is the first person to stand by her side

Now one thing about Makoto is she's smart. Very, very smart. However, all that goes down the drain when she gets all bullheaded towards what's right and makes the dumbest fucking decisions ever, throwing herself in the way of danger

Like when she hears a soft voice begging someone else to "stay away, no- no, please -" instinct takes over and she's sprinting down the halls, bursting into the PE faculty office and shoving Kamoshida into his own desk

For the first time, someone has come to Haru's aid, realized the hell she's been living in and come to smash a hole in the ceiling so she can crawl her way free. And sure, all three are going to be expelled over it, but- for the first time in years she doesn't feel like just a doll

Though. Neither Makoto or Yusuke want her to help them take him down. They're secretive about their methods, and is that a bird in Yusuke's bag?? Oh well. If they won't let her repay them then she'll follow them and force them to let her help

And so a Phantom Thief team is born. Haru- or Eros- is always super diligent about using healing spells on Makoto -Knight- just, walking up to her after a fight and laying a gentle hand on her arm or shoulder, giving her a soft little smile

And gay disaster Knight turns bright red, every time

They make a good team, even deciding to keep going after Kamoshida. There's more people they can save, more good they can bring into the world

(okay time to backtrack a little bit for a small intermission of Makoharu moments I have thought up that happen during the Kamoshida arc)

On rainy days, Makoto is often seen without her leather jacket, instead wearing a damp flannel shirt over her uniform shirt. At the same time, Haru can be found with said jacket draped over her shoulders or head, protecting her from the rain

Likewise, some days up on the roof, the two will be seen sharing a Bento. Some days Makoto would have neglected to bring lunch while avoiding her sister in the apartment, or Haru simply forgot while doing other tasks while her father was away

(anyways. Back on track. More under the break I worry about this one maybe getting too long)

Okay let's get Madarame up in this house! So this is when Futaba joins the group, and instead of being an artist, Madarame is like. A software developer or he claims to be one

Madarame Tech is unveiling a new ai help thing for their devices that they call "Wakaba". She is set to be unveiled at a local department store, and in the mean time they're showing off their new game console and PC line and shit. So like. Their mini E3 kinda

Futaba sees the gang on the subway and is caught taking photos of Haru- in reality she liked her aesthetic and was adding it to her folder of inspirations for like. Aesthetic lines for the tech shit I guess?? Idk. However she's a little shit and says she's interested in a. Different way.

This kick-starts that whole plot and starts making Makoto simmer. She doesn't want to see Haru get used again like before, so alarm bells are going off. Especially since she's accepted her feelings have resurfaced and has been trying (awkwardly) to make her move

Okay and then the "nude painting" scene. In exchange for not turning them in to the police right away for accusing Madarame, Futaba claims she wants to just. "touch some tits". Claims she wants to become a hero in her Discord server. I like to write Futaba as asexual so she's bluffing hard, thinking they won't say yes

She's mainly focused on Haru, who seems like she's going to agree in order to save the mission. And that's when Protective, Stupid Makoto steps in

Long story short Makoto and Futaba are playing "boob chicken" until Goro (bird boy) picks the lock and Madarame comes home and reveals yeah he's been using Futaba to finish her mom's programs that he killed her for haha whoops

Anyways they fall into the metaverse and they're about to see Futaba awaken as Python with her persona but first, gay

When Knight lands on the ground, Eros runs over to her. Shes been worrying the whole time, talking Yusuke's ear off about how she hopes Makoto is safe and doesn't have to actually do anything and shit- anyways she checks her over to make sure she's fine, calls her stupid for volunteering, Knight tries to defend her stupidity but oop-

Eros kisses her

...and kisses her again

Goro: are they seriously like, practically making out right now?

Yusuke: this is beautiful

Futaba: what the hell is happening

And bam they're gay from there. Makoto climbs through Haru's window some nights after sneaking out of her and Sae's apartment, ditches classes early to meet Haru at her class to go get lunch

Makoto is a little awkward always, but she's affectionate and making heart eyes always. Maybe a little handsy but she just. Shes feeling loved and loving so it can be excused. Haru also is not complaining so the only complaints are from Goro. And Futaba. And Hifumi. And Kasumi eventually.

When everyone goes to Hawaii, Makoto and Haru both volunteer to go on the trip as third years and are excited about sharing a room in Hawaii and spending time together

...yeah that doesn't happen. There's a room error and some teachers have to join student rooms and. Since Sae and Makoto are sisters. Sae joins her and Haru in their room.

So instead of a romantic getaway, Makoto has to share a hotel bed with her sister who steals the sheets and snores and keeps her up all night

But she and Haru do cuddle on the beach a bit. Throw a towel over an umbrella for a spell, allowing Makoto to catch up on her rest while holding her gf

And then of course the Sacrifice fake death bit. Emotions, angst, more kissing, classic stuff

Oh and for second semester Makoto has a whole crisis about realizing she wouldn't be able to get into college with Haru like she wanted to if she didn't clean up her act a little and starts wearing proper uniform. Her grades were still good so she has a chance

The day she gets her acceptance letter, the same day Haru gets hers, they open them together and they're so fucking excited cause they both got in, holy shit. They sign up to room together and man they're excited to share a dorm

Anyways yeah. Uhm. Them. Please ask me more about this I wanna talk more about this

[thatonelightyear]

headcanons! (woa)

its been... a while lmao

Rod (Torque) Redline

(i havent done any for him!! i have committed crimes tsktsk)

knows like at least three types of martial arts

def has kids like - i cannot see him not being a dad smh

probably specialises in your mom jokes ngl

accomplished (tm) prankster in high school

so overdramatic. which is why he'd be such a fun friend imo

actually huge fan of the Piston Cup

he is not dead!!! (i am not in denial shut.)

Bobby Swift (why not yk)

has read 'the art of war' at some point (bro idk)

laughs the most out of the trio (lightning, cal, bobby)

lowkey calls Junior 'mom' because he knows Junior hates it

cannot be trusted with anything other than pranks honestly

he's very happy-go-lucky and like, I think the older racers find that a bit precious (the commentators are endeared by him)

went MIA after being dropped for at least a few months

(I want to write a fic for him so bad)

Cruz Ramirez

Seems like the kind of person to send Mcqueen tiktok videos/instagram reels at 2am

Mcqueen responds : ok.

huge foodie at heart

wants to do a little bit of everything!

cannot lie to save her life (which kinda sucks when pranks are a thing)

loves sunny days. loves rainy days. loves the world honestly

[practically-an-x-man]

1 (Desert Song), 2, 3, 8, 11, 14, 23, 29 for the fic asks :)

Thank you so much!!! I'll try to make my answers somewhat brief since it's late and I need to get to bed

1. Share a song that makes you think of [Desert Song]

I mean, the title IS a song (a very heartbreaking bonus release by MCR), and I do have a whole list of songs compiled for use in future chapters so I kinda want to save those for when they appear in the fic itself, but there's one song that reminds me of them but doesn't really fit the rest of the punk theme

Pruning Shears by the Amazing Devil

It's a wonderful song and tells the story of a future couple meeting at a party, the interactions between the two of them already remind me a bit of Billy and Quinn's dynamic, but there's one stanza that really strikes me (and would've been the choice lyrics for the fic chapter, if the song fit the theme)

And I'll watch her ruin her life and dye her hair bright colors Become someone's wife Forget the girl that she once was

It just strikes me as very very *Quinn*, and I'd love to include the song if it fit with the tone of the overall fic. I mean, I'm a punk and I love the Amazing Devil, but it's not exactly punk music itself

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

All the time! I write the stories I want to see, and I love rereading them from time to time

3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Ugh, that's so tough because they all serve different purposes. Like, Smoke and Mirrors I love for its character development, Bolts and Blasters I love for its slowburn, A Love Once New is my self-indulgent rainy-day fic, Desert Song I love for its complex relationships and intra/interpersonal themes, the list goes on. I love them each in their own way, and I genuinely can't pick a favorite.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Uh.... a lot. But most recently I've been working on new chapters for Taking Flight (still hyperfixated lol) and Heartstrings, with A Love Once New waiting in the wings (pun intended lol)

11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics?

Not really, I tend to get distracted if I write to music. I do have a playlist for my Sandman character Prometheus here, and my fics kinda end up being playlists themselves since I incorporate so much music into them, but I don't generally create a lot of playlists.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

I'm actually gonna go with Desert Song. I tried/am actively trying to emulate the fast-paced action style of 6 Underground, and given the movie never got a sequel I'd pick this one to fill that void. The same goes for my other 6 Underground fic, Nom de Guerre - Desert Song is the better-written fic by far, but I think Nom De Guerre might have more visual elements that would adapt well to film.

23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)?

I tend to lay out a brief outline for my chapters so I know where to go, but I kinda just go off of general feel for the length itself. The only limitations I place on myself are that it must be over 2k words (which is easy to achieve now) and it must end in a good narrative way (since idk when I would next be able to update and I don't want to leave people unsatisfied).

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Sure thing! Here's a snippet from a Wednesday fic that I scrapped after the controversy with Percy Hynes White. I still like the idea (in fact, I'm hybridizing the OC into a future fic with Michael Langdon instead), but I don't want to engage with any of the controversy regardless of its legal outcome.

“Calypso, that’s Greek, right?” Her Mona Lisa smile widened into something genuine, a blend of pure happiness and mild surprise. The distance in her expression vanished almost instantly. She wasn’t great at hiding her emotions. Everything showed on her face, as candidly as if it were written across her forehead. He found it endearing. “Right.” she agreed, “Greek mythology. She was the daughter of Atlas, the titan, and she was imprisoned on a hidden island that adventurers could only find once.” Then, as if it burst out of her in a flash of inspiration, “But I think I’m more like Hephaestus.” “Why’s that?” “He was the outcast of the gods. Cast aside because he was ugly. And he worked the forges.” She stared down at her own hands, and he remembered the illustrated gleam of the knife in his painting. “I work in the forges. Sort of.” Another of his questions answered, then. But that wasn’t what he was focused on. And he had a habit of speaking before his brain caught up. “You think you’re ugly?” Her gray eyes flashed back up to his own, emotion flitting across her face in an uncertain wave. She still couldn’t hide it, but that didn’t mean Xavier could read it. He wasn’t sure what to think, other than that she was clearly very, very lonely. And maybe didn’t even realize it. “I think I’m an outcast.” she finally answered, very carefully.  Maybe she did realize it, after all.

thank you so much for asking!! these were fun!!

Fanfic Writer Asks

[baekhvuns]

YOU'RE RIGHT!! I TAKE ONE LEAVE AND THE EARTH MEETS THE SKY 😭

No ok let me explain, this is so embarassing, I have a small shelf where I keep my phone, and unfortunately it's near the bathtub, like it's on the wall where the bathtub is and I'm usually very careful and I usually decide on all my songs beforehand and keep it there BUT THT DAY IDK MAYBE IT WAS CUZ I WAS SICK? BUT I SAT IN THE BATHTUB WHILE SEARCHING THE SONG AND IT SLIPPED FRM MY HANDS (I like dangerous things ig?)

Yes, I found the song. "My everything" played as i held the half alive body of my phone in my hand but it survived. Credits to the song man! But my mom scolded me so much 😭 and everyone teamed up on me, talk about being the youngest! But my dad and i ate mid night snacks as i rambled on abt how it wasn't my fault (it was) 😁

OMG YES ANONS COME BACK WERE LONELY it's actually so cute how we've created a small family like saur happy!!! 🙌

And I just read secretary's escape. 26 episodes, done in one day. do i want you to write hwa like seungjo? Yes. Will I enjoy if he was written like tht? Yes, yes I will. I'll enjoy...every. bit. of. it.

Bcz I'm smitten, I'm in too deep, I'm gone, I'm not even here baby, I'm a hallucination. Such an impact....who's making this a drama? Oh and I had a whole reaction on it, like I wrote every little thing I felt and I will share it, mind you. So you better be prepared!!

I literally have it saved as "webtoon annotation" 😭😭

U were right, I've come back to my my roots. WAIT THT ONE SONG THT GOES "BABY IM YOURS, BABY IM YOURS" :0 NO WONDER! I LOVE EVERY E2L U WRITE! U told me abt ur formula 😭 I caught on it, how first we meet hwa, then we fight, loads of it but nothing serious just bickering, and among all tht we don't even realise we fall in love, then either yn or hwa fucks up, and we kinda go back to stage 2 but this time...very serious. And then someone b/w us has to apologize and we finally let the other person in (Bcz of Kai ofc, tht man never comes to play).

The whole transition to fall from summer rlly makes my throat act up fr fr. Wait u had a sore throat too? It's like tht for everyone, I was just sitting studying on my desk then i felt something stingy in my throat and i thought maybe it was cuz I was quite for too long...but then i realised it hurt to swallow and i, in fact had caught a cold 😔 so sad. I hope u take care of yourselves too.

I better sleep, it's like 1, here or mum will scold me again saying how I don't rest when I hv to. HOW DO I EXPLAIN IT TO HER THT MANHWA'S ARE IMP 😭. anyways I'll manage gn ❤️❤️

LMFAOOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY WHGRBKWHD

this all i have to say to the bathtub story

LMFAOOOO UR RIGHT WHY DOES EVERYONE GANG UP ON THE YOUNGEST STOP THATS SO CUTE 😭😭😭 PEAK MEMORY MOMENT im imaging you two, it’s late night, it’s dark and the only thing that’s lit up is both y’all’s body by the fridge’s light and you guys are just snacking up while you explain to your dad and he pretends to listen 😭😭

RIGHT PLS ANONS COME BACK LEMME SEE UR FACES right!! it’s like a small little town in baekhvunsland i hope y’all rmr u have to pay ur rent and that is by coming into my inbox 🔫 some of u are mad over due 🔫

OMFBBFKWJDKW U READ IT FBNWNFKD CRYING SCREAMING no bc. listen to me. i have a hwa ceo fic ok. he’s a very intimidating boss in it. and it kinda fits him and seungjo’s character

crying this is from last year 😭😭

that is my exact reaction. u get me. im all ears anytime babes

YES THAT EXACT SONG FJQNDKW ITS SO I SAW A VIDEO ON IT SAYING “imagine this plays as the enemies pin each other” and my mind said mr and mrs park. LMFAOOOO NOT U EXPOSING LIKE THIS FJWKDJWK KAI WILL FORVER BE MENTIONED IN MY FICS I AINT LETTING THAT FUCKER LEAVE he’s the therapist for readers and the yn ngl he’s coming over and he’s rover

right!! there’s a weird thing in the air these days, yes i did!!! i have a runny nose atm, rainy seasons and thunderstorms are arriving in my city 😭😭 IT HURT TO SWALLO GIRL WHEJ U ACCIDENTALLY WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SWALLOW AND YOURE DYING BC IT SCRATCHES i also swallowed in my sleep and i felt the pain in my dream ,,, im much better now thank u!!! pls take care of yourself and your god damn phone plis

LMFAOOOO it’s one over here for me fbwmbfsm readings webtoons ☺️☺️☺️

omg you’ve read the remarried empress right? navier’s brother is so 🫠 HOW. HOW.

[mcjour]

This is me talking through a decision so if you stumble upon this post, keep scrolling, not worth your time lol.

I kinda wanna join the AMC Stubs A-List but kinda don’t.

100% I see how it is an awesome deal and pays for itself almost immediately.

And the timing works out well. Like I would only want a summer subscription I think. It has a 3 month commitment, then if you stop you have to wait 6 months to join again. Okay so basically. I can just do it every summer when I’m on summer break?? I feel a little late to the party this summer though because this is my 3rd week of summer break and I have 6 weeks left. Like ideally if I were to do this next summer, I would start the subscription in June instead of mid July!!

And I 100% need more things to do by myself during summer! And it’s perfect for like an afternoon activity after summer school. And we have gotten sooo much rain this summer and it’s a good rainy day activity.

But idk. I’m not a big movie person! There are truly not a lot of movies I’m dying to see in theaters. Or ever. Like I would absolutely not be the person to watch 3 movies/ week every week. But I am sure I could find the at least 2 per month needed to break even. Even if they are ones that I wouldn’t normally see.

Even this summer, there’s quite a few I’d want to see, but a lot of them are the Disney re-releases and I’m not sure if I can justify going to the movies every two weeks for movies I can watch for nearly free on Disney plus at home. I think I might go a couple times but I’m not sure. And then another movie I want is a $3-$5 older movie so I might as well pay that price lol.

And going to the movies means spending $$$ on snacks!! I know I could always eat beforehand or sneak in snacks myself, but part of the experience is the buttery popcorn and I would want to treat myself at least occasionally. But looking at the website it legit costs $20 just for a popcorn and drink. More than the ticket! Eek.

And I hate driving too. I don’t take the highway, so it’d take me 25-30 minutes instead of 15 to get there. And that’s not a bad drive at all, but like that would definitely keep adding up.

And I have a lot of trouble leaving the house. Intertia, driving anxiety, social anxiety, idk. But I’m just not sure if I can get myself going that often! I already have an amusement park season pass and I’m definitely going to get my money out of it, but I would be lying if I didn’t say it was really hard to actually get me out the door!!

There are other movies I am interested in throughout the year, like the upcoming new Disney movies. But they are so far apart that again I can’t justify it.

So I think this summer is a no, but I definitely want to keep it in mind for next summer. Assuming release dates don’t move around too much, there’s already a few movies I would be willing to see, like inside out 2 and despicable me 4. And I’m sure there will be other big summer movies. And they might also run summer movie camp thing again. So I’m sure I will have a thrilling movie summer.

I ended up joining the mid tier premiere level. Which is funny because when I first looked at it I was like wow that is pointless. I changed my mind. It’s $15 for the whole year and it waives the online convenience fees (over $2 per movie.) so I’m like okay I just need to go to 7 movies in the entire year to save some money (not to mention saving money with earned points and stuff). I think that’s more doable for me! I’ve already got my Barbie ticket as the first one. And you know what, if I don’t break even, $15 is a relatively small cost to eat

[writerinsonora]

Beating Kingdom Hearts

A second time

Here I am in 2022 bewildered at the idea of beating it once, but I guess I had beat it twice back in the day.

Aug, 2nd, 2004.

~After beating Kingdom Hearts a 2nd time~

    Well, I just found out that Scales was going to move back to Oklahoma after Sophmore year. I found out from Claws, but Scales doesn't know that. Claws was in tears when she ran over to my house, less than 20 minutes after Scales told her. I didn't know how to react.....I almost cried, then I stopped. I said to myself "What the hell am I gonna cry over? Course I love Scales, but SHE'S FINALLY GOING BACK TO HER FAMILY! Where she's loved and treated with the respect she so richley deserves."

    I guess I also didn't cry because....it doesn't come as such a big shock to me....my friends ALWAYS move away...its like a curse I've always had. But I'll cry later....I know I will. If things go the way I want Scales and Fairy are the only two friends that I have known for more than a year.....without moving away. (excluding Anime Knowledge)

[IDK how to explain 15 year old logic]

   But hearing upon this news, I'm just going to finally come out with how I feel about Claws and Scales. I love them to death, though I may not always know how, I will always try to help them out. It seems my help never seems to work, not since Shadow Mt. and Gaian combined. 

   Scales and Claws could always read eachother like an open book. They could read me as well, I couldn't do a damn thing(still can't) about what they look like they're feeling and what they really are. The only thing I'm good for is listening to a person's problems, give some shitty opinion, and just watch things get better or worse.

  Anyway, I met Claws the 1st hour of my 1st class of the 1st day of 7th grade. Our teacher sat us right next to eachother and we hit it off. (this friendship kinda started out like the one with Fairy. more on that later)

 I met Scales during 2nd semester, 4th hour, on a rainy day in Phys. Ed. She was drawing a pic of an anime I was OBSESSED with. DBZ. (god don't ask me why now *shudder*) I couldn't help my self from starting conversation with her. She was defensive at first, but oddly enough she calmed down once I said I loved the anime. Then we found other anime interests i.e. Sailor Moon, Poke'mon. She tells me that once I mentioned Sailor moon, I wasn't going to get rid of her. (that statement proved true, as our 3year mark is soon to come)

    Scales and Claws are the two best friends I have ever had, the only time I have a problem with them is when they're telling me what I need to hear. Most of the time I never want to hear it. The friendship was terriffic at Middle School, but things changed a bit in my perspective once we started next door at Shadow Mt. High.

  I began to feel jealousy towards the both of them. They were both so smart, seemed to have the same fucking brain, both had confusing previous lives, both have fathers that loved them (actually cared for them), the can actually protect eachother with some good results....I could go on, but I'll save that for when I'm depressed. But I felt the jealousy because, with all of the similarities, I didn't think they would need me anymore. I mean, why keep a girl who can't even keep up with her grades, who is an airhead, and who can't protect her own friends?(NO! these are not current thoughts they have passed and I'm over it!) I tried pulling away from them, they pulled me back.

   But what was bothering me most of the time was, I thought I was being favored over. Like I didn't matter, being taken for granted. I only thought that because of the dumb idea of RPG on paper everyday on the hour before/ after/ and during Freshman classes. This caused it because Claws developed a little habit to put my entries aside, answer Scales' a few times, then answer mine. At first I didn't want to think that I was being favored over. What I did think was that Claws thought my responses were to stupid to deal with so she kept up with the smarter Scales. I don't have a reaction from Claws on this because, once she reads this, it will be the first time that she ever knew about what was flooding my mind, why I was pulling away so much, so bitchy. After a while I started to think that I was being favored over, and I eventually went out and told Claws...things were settled...and forgotten. Until now.

  I never told Claws about the previous feelings about me thinking that she thought I was stupid, because I was afraid that I assumed right again. (yes it actually happens to me) I'm always called stupid, I prove it to myself day in and out...and the last place I wanted to hear it was from a person that I had grown so close to. Hair of Wonder (I'm thinking my mom???***2022) told me just to separate from them, get some space. I tried, Claws and Scales wouldn't let me, I never told them why, I think I just gave them lies. Probably did. Thats why I was so weird. I was/am so inferior to them, I couldn't understand why they wanted me for a friend.

   I didn't understand what was so great about ME. A girl who has always let her grades spin out of control, isn't very wise in any term, who freaks out over the smallest thing, who is so innocent she's stupid and on and on.... This journal was NOT made so I could just write and get depressed again. Ugh. *growl*

  I do love Claws and Scales...I hope Sophmore year is better than Freshman year. No more depression fits over Gaian, over stupid jealousy, or ANYTHING. For our last year as a trio, I want it to be the way it used to be.....fun, relaxing, actually wanting to go to school...those days were the best. Course according to Claws....thats when Scales had her "mask" on....do I really want things the way they were if there's hiding one's self involved? IDK. I can't say I know myself any better than I know Scales and Claws. *sigh* I just hope its better this year, we start in 15 days....Scales is coming home soon, she would've stayed till the 10th, but because of School Orientation...she's coming back the 7th I think. 

Anyway, thanks for reading my blubbering and comment if you feel the need.

[murswrites]

Fluff Alphabet ⎯  Adrian Chase

Character/Celeb: Adrian Chase / Vigilante Fandom: DCECU / Peacemaker TV MASTERLIST

A/N Thank god for this funky white boy bc my writers block seems to be gone <3

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Oh my god, literally everything. Adrian genuinely doesn’t have a type he just likes who he likes (my personal headcanon is that hes bisexual >:3)

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Honestly I think he might eventually down the road but right now he’d never want to bring a child into his life due to being Vigilante. I think he’d like a cat though

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He’s everywhere. His personality is a lot but he takes cuddling VERY seriously.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Usually quite rushed and/or simple just because of lack of time. But if he has the time he’ll cook something and bring you dinner/breakfast/etc in bed.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

“You’re my happy place.”

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Everyone on the team started poking fun at Adrian about how much he liked you. He didn’t even realize! SO what that he was kinda... nicer to you than everyone else. There was a perfectly good reason besides being completely... in love you with... DEFINITELY !

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

His hugs are REALLY soft. I mean, you have to encourage him to squeeze you, he’s just worried about breaking your back?? Idk Adrian also did think he’d never be able to walk again without his pinky toe so :shrug:

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Palm to Palm. But most of the time he doesn’t like it because his hands sweat a lot and it overwhelms him with that happens.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Goddamnit you’re SO cool.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

Yes yes yes yes. And it is FUNNY. Adrian’s that kind of person to be like “What!? Jealous? Pfft, me? I don’t get jealous.” Then threaten to take someone’s knee caps and use them as shot glasses if they so much as LOOK in your direct. He is the definition of feral.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Adrian’s a lot to deal with, mentally, emotionally, physically. Like I mentioned with cuddling, he’s everywhere. Kissing is no different. He’s kissing your lips, cheeks, neck, arm, shoulder, basically anywhere he can reach. I’d think he did just out of pure desire and his normal shyness was squashed down because he just wanted it so badly.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Oh definitely Adrian. He’s your classic motor mouth and 9/10 of the things he says,  he means! And he also meant it when he said he loved you because the spaghetti you made was (and I quote) “To fucking die for.”

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Honestly it’s hard for him to pick. But I think any moments when you’re not both rushing. Anytime it’s just. pure domestic bliss, that’s his favorite.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

I think he’d like to but it’s just not realistic. I feel like he’d save up for big holidays (birthdays, winter holidays, valentines, etc) so get nice things.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Ironically teal... I think that’d make him like his suit more than he already does.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

He doesn’t really have any that he doesn’t use for everyone else? In my opinion, while you’re dating, Adrian still sees you as his best friend and calls you thinks like, dude, man, buddy, etc. But some he uses just for you would be thinks like sweetheart or a nickname.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Board games. This man. My god. His collection is So extensive. You’re pretty sure he owns every board game released before 2010 in the world.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

The usual, crime fighting doesn’t stop for no rain, baby.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

He doesn’t pick things like that up without being told there is something wrong and honestly some people appreciate him being normal than trying to aid them.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

All of his interests, his brain moves like a mile a minute (it’s the ADHD) and moves from one thing to the next to something completely unrelated (to you)

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Adrian doesn’t really... shut off? He’s kind of always going? But as soon as his face hits the pillow that man is GONE

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

His fighting skills. He’s kinda egotistical when he’s Vigilante and doesn’t ever shut up about how good of a crime fighter he is.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

I think it’d be similar to how he says he loves you, in a moment where he feels completely enamoured by you. He’s honestly just be like, “Hey? Wanna get married?”

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

I think canonically “Barbie Girl” by Aqua, but if I were to think... literally? “I Can’t Handle Change” by Roar. For you and Adrian: “I Hate Everyone but You” by Elita

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Yea <3 He’s a loverboy at heart

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

A black cat 100% no questions asked. With a teal collar and a bell, I think he’d name it “Loki” or something similar because in my head the Marvel Universe IS just comics in their universe so : )

@vigilvntes​​

@royaltywhxre​​

@moonlit-imagines​​

[honeymintki]

.

[i-cant-sing]

mental check buddy:) how r u mentally and physically? and remember us anons would probably help you with just about anything if you needed it love. be safe

love,

mom anon 🌷

I'm just really tired and busy all the time. Just started going to the wards and interacting with different patients in the hospital. I watched a surgery for the first time this week! (And answered a couple questions the surgeon asked which no one knew about, so very proud of it😤💖)

Got my first paycheck ever! (From the rich kid I tutor. AND they hired me for another month🥰🥰)

Realised that I'm just a back up friend in a lot of people's lives, and it doesn't matter to them if I bend over backwards for them.

Kinda felt sad that I haven't been able to post here as much as I want to :(

Met my bff for the first time in a long time. I surprised her on her birthday and we had a good time 💖

Cried in the shower- that was very therapeutic because I hadnt cried in a long time. It felt good.

Also my result hasn't been posted yet, so still very anxious about the outcome. Please pray for me yall.

Now contemplating how to spend my paycheck. Should I stick it all in the bank and wait to buy some presents for my loved ones? Should I buy some sushi to spoil myself? Should I save it for a rainy day? Idk- I want so many things but only have so much money.

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Kissing / Making Out HC’s

Pairing: Kaminari x reader

Warnings: Just a ton of kissing, making out, and mentions of groping (I talk about boobs, uh oh). Still gender/sex neutral

Author’s Note:

Almost didn't have anything ready for this week, but this one only took me a few hours to write up, so here you go! This may end up being my Valentines Day fic. Idk, we’ll see. I haven’t been feeling well lately :/

Enjoy

-Sugar

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● I think this goes without saying, but

● Denki is an absolute s u c k e r for kisses

● As soon as you get together, he wants them constantly

● And who are you to deny him?

● He really doesn't mind PDA (he kinda likes it, actually, getting to show off that he has an s/o)

● So, unless you're uncomfortable with it, he'll kiss you no matter where you are or who you're with (especially around his friends)

● But as I said, if you're not interested, he'll respect that

● It just means he gets to love on you more when you're finally alone together!

● Kaminari loves your lips. Big or small, soft or dry, he's staring at them from across the room, just thinking about when he can kiss them again

● Boy is devoted to you, you don't leave his mind

● After he started dating you, Denki applies lip balm religiously

● He usually goes with vanilla flavors, but he also likes fruity ones

● And he makes special note of what you like. If he knows you'll be kissing soon, he'll pull out your favorite chapstick of his just to make sure he's extra tasty for you

● His 👏 lips 👏 are 👏 so 👏 soft 👏

● Every now and then they'll get a little chapped, but he's pretty good about exfoliating them when they do

● He wants to make sure you have the best kissing experience with him at all times, so he stays on top of things

● Not only does Denki like receiving kisses, he likes giving them as well

● Cheek kisses are his go-to. If you were to keep track, I'd say he'd give you a cheek kiss at least fifteen times a day, if he's around you that much

● Morning kisses, hello kisses, goodbye kisses—a lot of them end up on your cheeks

● But he also loves kissing your nose! He sees those as more intimate kisses, so usually he saves them for when you're cuddling together

● He just loves the way your face scrunches up in a grin when he does it >w<

● He loves to smother your face with little pecks, and he especially likes to tease you by kissing anywhere but your mouth until you get frustrated

● But he doesn't have that much self-control, so he may just kiss your lips soon enough anyway, if you're patient

● You can expect him to prelude a ton of kisses with either a joke or a pick up line. He thinks he’s being smooth (he’s really not), but he loves seeing you happy and giggling

● He also likes to zap you jus a teeny bit here and there. Never enough to hurt (he'd cry if he ever hurt you), but just enough to surprise you

● Sometimes he accidentally static-shocks you when you kiss, especially right after he used his quirk, so that can sting a bit. He always apologizes when it happens and offers you more kisses

● He likes sweet kisses, especially the ones during or right after dates, where he just gets to close his eyes and let the world fall away into nothing but your warm lips. He likes wrapping his hands around your waist to pull you close, and tilt your chin so he can get the perfect angle on your mouth

● Sometimes he smiles and giggles while you're kissing, and that can make it a little difficult to stay on his lips. But it's so darn cute, you have no intentions of ever telling him to stop

● He loves making out with you. So much

● He likes to “set the scene” if he has time, but it’s usually just dimming the lights a little (he's not above making out to music tho, so if you're interested, he'll be happy to deliver)

● But just having you in your or his room with him, on the bed with you on his lap, kissing you slow for all you're worth—

● Fantastic, easily one of his favorite parts of the relationship

● And he likes the hungry kisses too, where he pins you to the mattress (or you pin him; he's into both 👀) and it's all just sloppy tongue and teeth

● 😞👌

● If you allow it, his hands will be all over your body

● If you possess boobs (no matter the size), he's touching them

● With permission ofc

● I headcanon him to be a boob/chest guy (I mean, he loves all of you, but come on. Boobs. Need I say more?)

● Buuuut, he's also touching your butt. Homeboy's a groper

● He likes to grab handfuls of you wherever they may wander, squeezing your warm flesh around his fingers

● You may have to tell him at first not to do it so hard

● He's a hornee boi, so he likes to make out with you a few times a week. If you have to miss a couple of sessions, he'll get grumpy and you'll have to make it up to him (with extra kissies, ofc)

● If you were to pin him to the wall and passionately kiss him, he'd probably die from how hot he found it. Or he’d just short-circuit

● Any time you kiss him, he'll melt

● He loves kissing you, but there's something a little extra special about when it’s you initiating

● It makes him feel so loved, even if you just walk up to him and peck his forehead

● It's important to him not only that he loves you, but that you love him back just as much. That's what makes him go 🥺🥺

● He simps for one person and one person only now, and it's you

● Extra: He draws fanart of you and him kissing in his free time 👀 just little doodles in the margins of his notebooks. Aizawa always makes a face whenever Denki accidentally leaves one on his homework but otherwise doesn’t say anything

The overhead light is turned off, a screensaver on his monitor providing a soft glow to the bed opposite in the room. You're seated comfortably on his lap, his hands lightly resting on your ass.

He starts with simple pecks on your lips, each one lingering longer against your skin, heavier in pressure. He's soft but moist, warm underneath where his saliva had cooled in the temperature of the room. An electricity seems to dance between you, and you're not sure if it's just your imagination or if he really is using his quirk.

Finally his tongue swipes against your bottom lip, and you grant him access. Your fingers lace through his hair, displacing the black lightning bolt that had been shaped so perfectly among the golden-blond strands. His tongue comes into contact with yours, touching and licking before securing itself behind your teeth. You're drawn even closer to him, locked in a wet embrace as his hands squeeze.

He could never get enough of you, enough of this feeling. He was obsessed with the way his heart still pounded in his chest, obsessed with the way fireworks went off in his stomach no matter how many times he'd done this before. All it took was a touch, a kiss, a squeeze, and he was gone. In moments like these, you were the only thing that mattered. Not his failures, not his inadequacies, not the stress of school. Just you, and only you.

One of his hands moved to cup your cheek, keeping you close while the other slid down your thigh. He released your lips, only to come back for more more more, desperate to show you how much he loved you, how badly he needed you. A whimper escaped him, swallowed by the kiss but present nonetheless. You answered in your own pretty little moan, fingers alighting on the base of his skull to pull him ever forward into you.

He could stay here forever, drowning in your taste, your touch, your scent. What harm would it be?

Kaminari picked you up, turning you over and laying you down softly onto his bed. He quickly loomed over you, supported by an arm on either side of your head as he dove in for another kiss.

Forever was a long time, so maybe he'd start with tonight.

His thumb traced along your cheekbone, lips still pushing and pulling against yours. He loved the way you caged his hips in with your thighs, keeping him in place. Loved how your hands softly rested by your head on his pillow.

He paused, suddenly realizing just how lightheaded he was. Reluctantly, he pulled back for air, chest expanding and contracting with each soft breath. 

You were under him. He was so thankful it was you. He'd never witnessed a person so beautiful—never experienced lips so addictive, so kissable. You were intoxicating, the way your shining eyes locked with his as your own hand came up to trace his face.

Even in the low light, he could make out every feature he loved—from your nose to your cheeks to your chin, nothing escaped his gaze.

"I love you," you whispered to him, and just like every other time you said it, he knew it was true.

"I love you too," he whispered back, because that was also true. How couldn't it be?

He kissed you once more before shifting to his side, pulling you into his arms where he knew you'd be safe and warm.

'I love you' hummed through his every nerve as he showered your skin with his love—your forehead, your nose, your cheeks. All of it perfection in his eyes, and he wished nothing would change.

You nestled into his neck, your hot skin brushing over his own.

"Sleepy?" he asked, rubbing your back.

He felt you nod, and he couldn't help but smile. Burying his nose in your hair, he inhaled your scent. It was nights like these when he truly knew what the word 'comfort' meant, since he felt it to the very marrow of his bones.

Absolutely nothing could compare to the way it felt to have you fall asleep in his arms. Your breaths began to even out as his hands continued to wander, intent on caressing you and worshiping every inch of skin he was able to touch.

Even before he pulled the blanket over your shoulders, you were warm. Drifting off to sleep in his arms, his lips still lazily pressing kisses to your hair, you felt content.

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Taglist: @aahilovetheatre @basicaegyo @hyunmin-1404 @iiminibattlehero @katsugay @nabo39 @pyrofanatic @rainy-skys-and-bright-stars​ @sendhelpimstupid @sxngwoos-ash-box @xoxopam4​

[shijas]

HELLOOOOO ITAFUSHIKUGI IS SO CUTE. BYE IM SCREAMING,, omg share some of ur hcs ? 🥺

WOOOW YAY!! they defo toe the line between a full on relationship and qpr for me and i adore them!! some hcs:

these kids spend like 60% of their downtime napping!! megumi usually ends up in the middle because i live by thermodynamic sink megumi! nobara sleeps like a gremlin, in that she probably rolls around a lot and can end up kicking people (shameless projection i’m a horrible person to sleep next to), whereas yuji sleeps like the dead unless he’s super tired in which he will probably murmur under his breath. megumi thinks he has no sleeping habits but he definitely snores and/or wheezes at some part of his sleep cycle

i think its funny that they all had crushes on each other but didn’t realise it at all, like megumi and nobara both initially think i’m not gonna crush on yuji, it’s yuji for goodness sake and then nobara knocks on megumi’s door at midnight like you have to save me i have a crush on yuji and megumi is like oh my god you toooo????????? anyway this is all fine and stuff until nobara finds herself with a crush on megumi and she’s like wtf the tokyo air has ruined me and then by wild guess she realises yuji has a crush on megumi so now she’s playing double agent while she has a crush on BOTH of them and probably runs crying to maki like senpai,,,, put me out of my misery, meanwhile maki literally heard megumi and yuji dying over the fact they both called nobara cute out loud when she did something moderately evil to gojo in class. eventually they all figure it out and it’s a fun polypile

yuji does most of the cooking because he’s the most competent cook, if it’s a complaictsd enough dish that megumi helps, nobara gets stuck with dishwasher and dishes duty much to her chargin.... megumi usually helps her with that too tho so it’s never too bad! the only thing that yuji doesn’t usually cook is tea. nobara is the tea expert, saori taught nobara all the tips and tricks to the perfect cup of anything and especially after cold or rainy missions, her blends are super well appreciated. to round out the kitchen chores, megumi is in charge of the shopping list because he’ll actually take note of things that are running out before they run out and draft a list as time passes, while preparing coupons/checking for discounts,,, and because he probably had the best taste in snacks...

yuji definitely hits his hinted at growth spurt and just towers over everyone (gojo is so put out, where did his tiny cute student go ㅜㅜ) and his strength just seems to increase expontially. nobara and megumi weigh NOTHING to him, he abuses his new tall powers constantly, like he wasn’t already abusing them before. hugs already guaranteed that you’d be a few cms off the ground and now nobara literally shrieks at how high she’s lifted. megumi 100% doesn’t know how to behave around him too like one day he was using those 2cms to his advantage and tilting yuji’s head up slightly and now he’s literally walking into yuji’s chest in the mornings it’s surreal. yuji 1000% relishes in the beneath the lashes looks the other two send him but he goes horribly pink so it’s a double edged sword

yuji takes them to visit his grandfathers grave eventually but like there’s 1000% no angst, idk if any of yall have read csm but think of it like denji and power with aki just a bit more respectful. nobara is absolutely loosing it about going out to the countryside again even tho sendai is a pretty sizeable city; megumi feels kinda bad about the whole circumstances surrounding grandpa itadori’s death and so tries his best to be comforting and supportive only to bicker with nobara insistently by accident. yuji doesn’t mind tho, he didn’t want it to be a sombre event or anything and is pretty upbeat about, he probably makes a joke about how his grandpa didn’t expect him to gain bout a girlfriend AND boyfriend and how he was living double the high school experience. nobara and megumi probbaly promise to take care of yuji when in reality 80% time yuji is taking care of them and because they’re absurdly terrible at it

nobara and yuji definitely bond over self care stuff like face masks, nails, expensive bath stuff. megumi is rather impartial to it until they show him the wonders of self care tm. honestly he still wouldn’t go out of his way to do all the stuff they do without them but he can definitely appreciate how good nobara and yuji look in those animal print sheetmasks or the smell of yuji’s grapefruit conditioner and nobara’s rose water toner or whatever idk i’m bad at self care tooo sjsjsjjdjr

escape bunny shenanigans,,,,, megumi tries so hard to make the distinction that his shinigami are not pets and nobara and yuji do not listen they’ll be like megumi,,, bunny,,, and suddenly the room is full of bunnies who are just waiting for good pets and grapes or whatever fruit they’ve bought in surplus to feed the bunnies. the remaining divine dog definitely lives on the end of whoever’s bed they’re sleeping in that week, if gojo asks they’ll be like megumi is training his stamina and how much time he can keep his shingami around when in reality nobara has bought dog costumes and toys and yuji has like 9 different gourmet dog food recipes open on his phone

i think living together, even before swinging their relationships, comes with a certain number of boundaries they just kinda fall away and so eating off each other’s plates, drinking from the same bottle etc etc comes about pretty fast like megumi doesn’t like peppers cool nobara and yuji will happily eat them off his plate; oh there’s only one ramune left cool let’s split the bottle three ways you know what i’m saying? nobara is probably the first one to hit the clothing and skinship boundaries because she gives zero fucks like she’s walking around in her towel cuz she left her sheet mask in the fridge to get chilly and soothing and whatever and yuji sees her while doing dinner prep and she’s like what you never see a titty before? and he laughs so hard they just kinda forget about it. it’s super hot in summer and megumi is literally dying in just his shorts by the open door and nobara sees his stomach and is like is this a weather appropriate place to lay? and proceeds to belly flop ontology of him anyway. yuji and megumi deinftely have one of those hey, stop screaming it’s me moments in the shower. the boundaries blur and disappear and anything that needs to en addressed is and that’s that...

clearly... i have gotten carried away but yeah,,, them 🥰

[twopoppies]

Hey Gina,

Hope your holiday break is awesome! LA has been gross and rainy but we need it so I can’t complain.

So I’ve recently started reading a bunch of fics back to back since I’m on break from school but I noticed almost all of them are like this weird overly feminine, bratty, whiny, bottom Louis characterization that, although the fics are good, the way he is kinda makes me feel a bit off. Idk. Like in a bunch of them he’s written like some sort of whiny diva that needs to be carried and cuddled and babied with tiny tiny hands and a fat ass while Harry is some sort of masculine giant broad shouldered god who swoops in and saves the day lol. I’m kind of wondering if you know any fics that is opposite of that lol. I kinda see Louis as like a protective, big bro, intelligent type. And if anyone is precious, I kinda see that as being more Harry. Like he’s the baby. I’m dumb I know cause obvs idk what they’re really like irl but I guess I’ve just read too many diva bottom Louis fics and I want something g different lol. If you have any recs I’d really love some lol I have a few more days til I go back to school and all I wanna do is stay home and distract myself from going out on NYE.

Ps do u have any fun NYE plans?

Hi love. I hate that characterization of him so literally nothing on my rec lists should read that way to you. Of your looking for bottom Louis, specifically, I have a Bottom Louis fic rec as well as an Omega Louis rec and a Power Bottom rec list. I reblogged them fire you. But honestly I don’t think anything I’ve recommended on any fic rec has that sort of dynamic.

[germanyballartsandanimations]

🎉🎉🎉likes, shares, shares to stories, comments and saves are greatly appreciated!🎉🎉🎉 💚suggest me which country i should draw next!💚 (cant accept all of them but i'll try sorry aaaa) (Mega caption ahead ohwa) GOOD MORNING MY FELLOW SEA BESTIES!!! How are yall this rainy day? :0 (for me at least- OAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) Have some MexPer as a gift for @princedoesstuff and the ABC gang in the cartoon network colour palette for the time-being 💃💃💃💃 (If u want u can take the mexper as a pride month thing idm 💃🕺idk if i will do anything regarding pride month this year so- 🥲🥲🥲 just take the ships uuuuu) Also rip argentina ig 💀🗿💀 Ik the cartoon network colour palette challenge doesnt rly allow lineart 😭 i just dk how to do lineless with these colours smh i suck at this stuff smh To @princedoesstuff, once again tysm for helping me out that time where my post went like....📉📉📉📉 kjskhwkhihdeieh!!!!! Have this in return :DDDDD 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 I experimented with blue shading and oh did i find a new shading style 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ As for the abc gang one, i did it in the car again. 🧎‍♀️... I kinda switched around the colours and rendering and i got fun results from it 👀👀👀👀 Nah nvm it looks way better in flat colours what have i done 🕴🕴🕴🕴🕴 Anyways- im totally not wasting my june holidays hahahahahahahaha sob Also ik this is off topic but to whoever sees this- pls recommend me some songs i can feast on in the comments UUUUUUUA Look forward to next week's post! Got an unpleasant surprise for yal 🏃‍♀️ /lh /hj 💝Hope yall have a great day/morning/afternoon/evening/night ahead!!! Remember to watch madoka magica and stay sane <3333💝 Tags (ignore if u want it's a lot 😫): #countryhumans #countryhuman #countryhumansmexico #countryhumanmexico #mexico #countryhumansperu #countryhumanperu #peru #countryhumansargentina #countryhumanargentina #argentina #countryhumansbrazil #countryhumanbrazil #brazil #countryhumanschile #countryhumanchile #chile #countryhumansart #countryhumansship (sorry) #art #digitalart #digital #drawing #fanart #medibang #medibangpaint #fingeruser #mobileuser #cartoonnetworkpalette #artistsoninstagram (at Felling Happy and Wonderful) https://www.instagram.com/p/CeXXAMKJVIV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[uhhhhyandere]

👉👈 more yandere dimitri pls,,, that last one you wrote,,,, WHEW

haha idk where this was going or like... what the plot is or even what it’s about... but i had fun HAHAHA and literally all that matters 

so here’s 8k words of purple prose and pointlessness and idk what else i love him so much... also not proofread bc I'm lazy. y’all stan a lazy ass author. 

warnings: gory, death of minor characters, kinda bloody too, injury, manipulation

”It’s stupid. I-I don’t think… I just don’t want to get my hopes up, Annie. It’s been years…” With Garreg Mach looming on the cliffside, memories began to resurface with each field and decrepit village you, Annette, and Mercedes passed. They were fields where you would train relentlessly in the early hours of the day. An excuse, you think, to see him more. Innocent enough. Who wouldn’t want to improve their skill with the future King of Faerghus? Under those very trees is where you would have clandestine meetings at the same time beginning after the celebration of your victory at the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Undeniably, the best night of your life. 

You silently thanked Sylvain for slipping into the wine cellars and claiming you all had to finish the stolen bottles and clear the evidence. The only people still okay enough that night to do any cleaning were Mercedes and Dedue. Felix was technically okay too, but he left far before Annette was vomiting in the washroom to actually help out. 

Your drunken first kiss at your bedroom door that Dedue definitely did not see. The sober one the day after. The sneaky one after breakfast. Quick one after training. Goddess, the heavy one in the dead of night after you scurried upstairs that Sylvain and Felix one hundred percent did not overhear through the paper-thin walls of the dorms. Countless kisses under the shadow of covers, night, until the ball. If everyone and their mothers didn’t suspect something was up when you two did not even realize you were the only pair left dancing, all eyes on you, until Sylvain whistled from the crowd, well, you would be deathly concerned about them.

“But those memories are from a long time ago, Mercie.” You pulled yourself from your thoughts. “Thinking about them only hurts. This place, what’s left of it, only hurts.” Mercedes set a gentle hand on your shoulder. “You think after five whole years, it wouldn’t hurt as much, but I don’t think I’ll be okay until this war is over. Until the cause of this - of all this pain and misery - is put to rest. Back then, even if we could have died at the end of any month, I thought he was invincible. I fled Fhirdiad as soon as I heard. Like a coward.”

“You can’t honestly think that! The Empire was taking the city. If you stayed, you could have died too! Don’t think like that.” You rolled your head back to look at the dark sky. You would make it back before it starts, at the very least. 

“Everyone grieves in different ways, and it courses through us all at different paces. You have to let yourself hurt.” You shook your head, beginning to see the shadow of the village at the base of the monastery. 

“I’ve been hurting for years now. When I met up with Felix in Fraldarius territory, he told me that the distraction will get me killed. An hour later he saved my life in battle, so he's ever the same. I wonder if he decided to show today. Sylvain would inevitably follow then. I’ve always thought--hey, do you hear that?” You stopped your movements suddenly, holding your arms to stop them as well. FIghting. 

“Is it the Empire?”

“I don’t know, but we should help out anyway,” Annette replied. “Come on!” 

You expected the Empire, but you weren’t surprised when you encountered thieves attempting to saunter off with the abandoned riches of the monastery. It was just like any other weekend you were off the road of bandits with the Blue Lions to clear a path for bandits. 

Until you saw him. A ghost. As pale as one, at least. A hulking, nearly unrecognizable mass of strength shrouded in black and blue. Relentless, he tore through his path of thieves, the professor and Gilbert hot on his trail. The… professor? They were alive too? Your hand shook at your side. They’re both… okay? You swallowed. The professor always did tend to micromanage Dimitri. You realized you could not swallow with a closing throat, wobbling along with your chest. Wheezing, crying, freezing in battle. You heard Mercedes and Annette all around you behind a wall of fog. Legs shaking, you fell to the ground, hand tight to your chest. 

“Y/N, come on, get up!” It was Annette’s urging, but she stopped suddenly. Two sets of feet set up around you. A barrier to protect you as your muscles shook. Get up. You have to. Get off the ground and fight. Just as he always taught you. 

Your bow came out quick, sniping an enemy in Mercedes’ blind spot. Before you can do anything, argue it was your imagination that conjured the sound of his grunts and the blue of his eye, you had to survive to see them and keep track of Sylvain in the corner of your eye. He still tended to always look right instead of left. Were you not so shaken up, you would have reacted to seeing the rest of your old house in battle, but your mind kept filtering back. You did not see him again in battle. He and the professor were far ahead, after the familiar bandit you had dealings with from Anna, with the remaining three bandits. You, Annette, and Mercedes went to secure the area to make sure there was no bandit unaccounted for. 

Didn’t last, though, as you fell to the ground against the foundations of a destroyed house, legs outstretched and limp. With your palm being held tightly over your mouth, you squeezed your eyes tight to get any remaining liquid out.

“Y/N…” 

“H-he’s alive.” 

“We know. We saw-”

“He’s alive. I spent five years grieving for someone who was here. I-I should have known he was here. I thought about it. I thought about it, but then I second-guessed myself and said that it would only hurt more. Searching for the dead. Pining for them, but look. I-I don’t know. I don’t know if I can even face him.”

“And you don’t want to.” Felix’s voice was just as sharp as it always was. He was grimacing, pace fast as he joined the three of you. “He is not the Prince you fell in love with. He’s the boar that’s been festering underneath his polite smile” With an exhale through your nose, you looked away. Felix really could read you like a book. He scoffed. “You knew too, didn’t you? All this time. Of course. I shouldn’t have put it past you to push things under the rug as you always do.” 

“Felix…” 

“It’s true. It’s how they even got through the relationship. Not as perfect as you thought, huh?” 

“Felix, I think that’s enough.”

“No,” you interrupted. “He’s right. I knew. I was at the rebellion. I was at that battle that is ingrained into Felix’s memory. I was in the Holy Mausoleum when we found out the Flame Emperor's identity, but he never told me… I didn’t know the extent. You all knew he would hide me from all harm, including himself. Do you really think he would tell me whatever plagues him now? Though, I could take a good guess after spending a few nights in his room back then.” You swallowed, wiping away the remnants of your tears. “How bad is he?”

“A lowly beast.” 

“There you all are. Professor says to regroup. Says we have plans to discuss, if you all are interested - woah, you okay?” Sylvain scratched the back of his head. “Oh right, yeah. Well, I don’t know how long His Majesty is willing to wait. He looks pretty - uh - impatient.” You shook your head and used the wall to support you back to your feet. 

“Reunions like this are usually supposed to be happy, aren’t they? I-I’m sorry I’m ruining it on you all. I really am so relieved to see you all okay. It’s just… there’s a lot of emotion going on right now.” It was Mercedes’ hand on your back. You needn’t look to know. 

“You don’t have to face anything you aren’t ready for.”

“No, I need to see what he has become. It’s as Felix says. I can no longer ignore problems I must face. I can do it, but we still have to check the perimeter…” Sylvain shook his head. 

“Teach had Ashe and Ingrid do it right after you left.” Your professor always knew you better than you could ever know. “Well, let’s go then. Don’t want to keep them waiting on us too long.” His brown eyes came in close. “You hardly look like you’ve been crying, if that helps.”

“It doesn’t!” Annette stomped on his foot. “Y/N, it’s going to be okay. Me and Mercie are right with you!” A smile broke out on your face. Albeit sad, you nodded your head and believed her. Though you both knew, in the scheme of things, you were alone in this battle. 

“Sorry, teach. You know Felix. Walks like a grandpa.” Sylvain, as common as it is for him to be the asshole, was a kind soul. No matter how much he tried to hide it. You gifted him a small smile of thanks as he glanced back. You were in the back of the small group when you joined the semicircle surrounding Gilbert, Byleth and… and… you couldn’t do this. 

His hair has grown long and unkempt. Grease and grime painted his hair, his skin, his clothes. The armor he wore just a few shades darker than the circles under his single remaining eye but, oh, it still glittered brighter than the rainy sky. That was his eye. Though only one remained, it was his. This was your Dimitri. You clenched your teeth, for you could not cry anymore. Even if this Dimitri, from what you have heard, would not care for your tears, Dimitri five years ago would. You would stay strong for him if no one else. 

And when his eye met yours, goddess, the jolt was felt down your spine. You knew your face screamed your emotions. You were no Felix, Slyvain, or Byleth. Lips parting, your breath halted as he kept your gaze. Nothing on him reacted. Goddess, his gaze was so much more piercing. You did not dare to move.  As if you were a stranger, his eye flicked back to Gilbert as the knight continued to speak. Annette grabbed your hand from beside you and you squeezed so hard you watched her wince, yet she remained steadfast in holding yours just as tight. 

For the mornings spent under the trees in the field after training, you would not cry. Dimitri is alive. He is here. A few steps away, though miles remained in between, he was alive. Within his dead eye, people will find hope. You will find hope. You know Gilbert already has as he speaks about returning to the monastery to begin to plan for the retaliation against the Empire. You know the former Blue Lions have as well, as they follow the professor loyally back up the ruined stairs you used to trip on far too often. You wondered if Dimitri can feel your eyes on the back of his head, or if he has come to be numb to that as well. 

Annette did not let go of your hand until it was out of shock in the chapel. Its remnants littering the floors. Still, the peace of the goddess remained. Its silence was a lullaby to your worries. She, it had to be her, brought back the ones you love most. There was no other power. There couldn’t have been. Even though there was a hole where she used to stand, you thanked the rain beginning to pour in.

You would be strong for the boy Dedue would sneak you to in the dead of night. To wherever the Duscur man maybe, you would do it for him, too. 

But being brave and strong was always easy for the people in Ashe’s books. They did not hesitate through their fear. It pushed them to be the heroes they are, but you could not find that platform to jump from. A mouse approaching a wolf, a boar. You sought help from the expert himself. 

“Have you? I mean, have you tried to talk to him?” Ashe fiddled with the padding on his glove. 

“No, not yet. Felix, Ingrid, Sylvain, and Mercedes have, though. You should ask them. They can probably be more help than me.” Stepping onto the wall separating Garreg Mach from the cliff, you sat next to him, allowing your feet to dangle in the open air. 

“No, I think I need someone as scared as me. Someone who wants to be a knight from one of your books, but is the measly coward in the back used for poetic comparisons. Not that you are. I’m talking about me.” Ashe shook his head. 

“It’s only been a few days since we’ve arrived.”

“And you think I would have already sought out the man I fell in love with already? A faithful reunion. Not quite like the ones in the romances.” 

“I don’t think anything going on is anything like a book.” You furrowed your brows. “I know that’s crazy coming from me, but no book is like another. They have similarities, but they are all inherently different. This one we’re in now, this is ours. This is what people will be reading about and looking to for help. Us. No book can help us right now. I think only we can help ourselves and each other.” You kicked your heel against the wall repeatedly. It wasn’t what you wanted to hear. “You should try. If Dimitri will listen to anyone, it’s you or the professor, and they tried already.” You could feel your throat beginning to close up.

“What do I even say? What if I say the wrong thing? He’s hurt, Ashe. He always has been. I don’t want to… I can’t push him more. He’s not off the deep end yet. He can’t be. I don’t want to be the final straw. I know what I’ll say if I get too… emotional.” The man sighed, green eyes scanning the clouds. 

“Well, from my humble opinion, which you don’t have to take, is that, if what you’re saying is true, you’re hurting him by avoiding him.” He stopped fiddling with the leather. Instead, he placed his hand on your thigh. “He is, deep down, the same Dimitri we know. What if he was the same, and you were doing this?”

“That’s debating if he is the same underneath. Knights are torn, but I know he’s there. He wouldn’t so easily feed into it. I know it. It may be time and so much help, but he’s in there. This is part of him. This is not an imposter. This is just as much of him as the one we knew so well. It… has to be, because I don’t know what I’m going to do if it’s not.”

Nights seem to be falling earlier and earlier with nonstop cleaning, repairs, and supply running. Even if you wanted to, you lacked the time to seek the prince out. The greenhouse had to be fixed. The rubble had to be cleared. The holes had to be patched. Communication had to be made. Word was the Knights of Seiros would be arriving this evening. Preparations had to be made for that. How the hell did Cyril do this day-in and day-out? 

You were exhausted by the time Seteth and company arrived and set to meet in the chapel. The second time you’ve seen Dimitri since the bandits. The millionth time war efforts were to be discussed. Most of that work was carried out by Byleth and Gilbert. You only needed to follow orders, and your orders were to clean. Sorting out your emotions was just a side job.

“Y/N. Y/N. Are you listening?” Seteth’s scolding, something etched into your brain from the academy, broke you from your thoughts. However, you first regarded Dimitri, who looked at you the same as he did the first time, before having the courage to look at Seteth. 

“I-I’m sorry. Lost in my own thoughts.” 

“I asked if you have heard anything from Aegir? I know you were in contact with Ferdinand during the past five years.” Dimitri’s eye burned holes through your head. You could feel the sweat from it on your scalp. 

“Duke Aegir has been placed under house arrest, sir. Everything from their title and land has been stripped from them. I… haven’t heard anything since. It would be safe to presume that they will not be an in with the Empire.” Yours and Ferdinand’s history stretches only back to the academy; however, before you and Dimitri became official, you and he would occasionally… work some stress out. Casually. Dimitri always hated this fact, but he did his best to hide the jealousy from you.

“It’s not fair of me to judge you on what you have done in the past,” he said. “I will be more mature about my feelings.” Though the gleam in his eye now was all too familiar. 

“I see. Thank you.” Something within you kept you from meeting Dimitri’s eye. A fear he would look away, so you focused on Seteth, Gilbert, and Byleth as they discussed the steps to making Garreg Mach the Kingdom’ base. When the meeting ended, however, you did not listen to such fear. Dimitri spent his time in the chapel. The spectacle to gawk at. It was no surprise when he did not move as the rest of the group disperse, and neither did you. 

But he would not break first. Turning around, his cape followed him back towards the wreckage of where the altar used to be. You followed with steps as silent as possible. Opening your mouth to speak, you released only empty air. Inhaling, you tried once again, but a wall erected itself in your throat, cutting you off once more. 

“If you have something to say, speak.” His words, guttural, reverberated in you. Wringing your hands together, you took one last deep breath. 

“Dimitri.” 

“Do you wish to speak of the past?” His head turned, so you could only see one eye peeking from under his bangs. “The boy you loved is long dead. There is nothing here for you.” You shook your head and took an adamant step forward. 

“T-that’s not true.” A dry laugh escaped him.

“Is it not? Are you not frightened of me? Is it not why you have hidden yourself ever since you arrived? You know it as well as I.” You tapped your fingers against your thigh. You had to remain calm and patient. He was going to try to push you away, and you knew that. Do not stray from the path. 

“It was not you I was scared of, Dimitri.” Another laugh. This one wry. He turned around to face you then. You knew he had gotten bigger, stronger, but he stood so much higher than you. A power stance you would not succumb to. This is the same boy who broke a pair of scissors and was scared Mercedes would yell at him and smuggled sweets for you two to have late at night to study for your certification exams. “Do not tell me it is because you think you could have changed something. Prevented something. Nothing would have changed whether you were here in the past five years or not. Do not think so much of yourself.” 

You squared your shoulders. You did not want to take this route, but you had to provoke some type of emotion towards you. Something to tell you that you are more than the tool of war to use against Edelgard, and he had already given you a hint. 

“Then what about at that meeting, when Seteth asked me about Ferdinand? I saw the look you gave me. I’ve seen it before too. You cannot hide that.” His jaw clenched, and for a moment, you felt successful. “You can say anything you want. How I am insignificant, a tool to use, another body to die in your path to revenge, but do not-” you pointed a finger at him “-tell me what we had was nothing. I want to see what you see. I don’t want you to shut me out.” His eyes trailed down to your finger, and with an armored, gloved hand, pushed it aside. 

“So you admit it then? A tool at my disposal. To use and then break?” You shook your head, and your throat clenched once again. 

“You would add me to the list of people who already haunt you?” 

“You know nothing of the dead. Of what they say to me. There is nothing for me to be concerned about other than taking the head off of that girl’s shoulders. Should you die getting in my way, then so be it.” His lance to the heart, but you would not let the pain show. He was the same boy who broke his training lance and hit Leonie with the broken handle and fretted about it for the next month, despite the blood on his hands. You had to believe that. Latch on to that single hope. 

“You always did what you could to protect me. From Demonic Beasts, bandits, Felix’s words, but right now, I think you’re protecting me from yourself.” Metal against your neck. In a blink of an eye, his lance touches the skin. 

“Do not speak as if you know me, and do not speak anymore, or else I will slice your throat where you stand. Go away. If you return, I will not hold back, and I will use you to the bone.” A competition played out between your eyes, but, in the end, you succeeded. Walking out the monastery with a drop of blood on your neck, you did not allow any other droplets to fall until you crossed the bridge into the reception hall. 

You don’t who you cried for, or for how long until Catherine found you and guided you back to your room. Thoughts floated from Dimitri, his words, the past, to Dedue and his untimely passing and your peers that were now your enemies that Dimitri was ready to kill without hesitation and the reality of your death that could come in any battle here on forth.  

Three knocks on your door. Too hard to be Ashe’s, Mercedes’, or Annette. Not hard enough to be Felix yelling at you to train like he used to when he could find no one else. 

“Sorry. I was just passing by, and, well, wanted to check in.” The last thing you wanted Sylvain saying was that he heard your balling your eyes out. With shaky hands, you wiped your burning cheeks and unlocked the door for him to enter. “Oh, what happened? What’s that bandage from? Don’t tell me…” You motioned for the noble to come in and relocked the door. You didn’t want any more visitors. 

“Yeah, I talked to him.” 

“He hurt you?”

“I went too far. I-I shouldn’t have pushed him so deep into his emotions, presuming things he felt. It was just a scratch. I’m fine. You have the eye, Sylvain. You must have noticed the meeting.” You sat on your bed, while he spread himself on your desk chair. 

“I remember he used to come to me during those times. How he can show his love for you through other means. How he had lost you before even had a chance to try. He was so stressed, and so hopelessly into you. I thought he had it for the professor, but color me surprised when he sought me out for advice on you.” You shook your head. 

“Never should have started that with Ferdinand.” 

“Something about nobles, huh?” 

“Shut up, Sylvain. I-Look, I can’t even focus on the past right now. I use it to remind myself I’m talking to my Dimitri, and not the monster everyone fears. That, that man suffering alone in that chapel is the boy who got nervous every time we kissed, but… but it’s so hard. As soon as I saw him that day, I was shocked, overjoyed, but I knew something was wrong the same minute. He’s been alone for five years. By himself. The only people to talk to him were the dead. What kind of… I’m supposed to be the one that knows this, sees this, and helps this, but all I can do is cry in my damned room!” Sylvain was lighting fast to wrap his arms around you, and you clung on tighter to his shoulders. The sleeve of his shirt, the victim of your tears, saliva, and sobs until you had pushed your own self out of consciousness. 

When you woke the next morning, your head lied on a breathing pillow. It did not take much to recall the previous night and you let yourself relax under human contact. It was something you have missed dearly in the past five years, and you know, despite his reputation, Sylvain would never try anything with you. Your eyes, heavy still from crying so hard, lazily trailed across the room. The window Dimitri almost broke with his lance, the desk you both hunched over figuring out the mathematical side of tactics, the potted plant the professor gave you for your birthday that Dimitri also broke, but replaced with the long dead ones present. The broken locks on your door from - 

“Sylvain!” You jolted up, slapping his chest harshly. He woke with a groan while you stood and approached the door. 

“Mm, what?”

“Did you hear anything last night? Banging, or snapping, after I fell asleep?” He rubbed your pillow over his face, so you approached him, tore it from his hands, and smacked him. “Sylvain. My door is broken.” Brown eyes were wide and glowing under the sun from the window. He rushed to check out the damage. “I think I know who would have…” He met your eyes. “Which means he saw - “

“Yeah, I get it. I’m a dead man.” You shook your head. 

“Hey, hey, not yet. We could try to guess why he would come in here.” Sylvain rolled his eyes. 

“Isn’t it obvious? It isn’t to kill you. He already would have been in the chapel. Oh - we messed up. We messed up big time. I’m so sorry, Y/N.” You put your hand on his arm.

“It’s not your fault. You were here when I was sobbing. I can’t be mad at you for that. I’m mad at this whole situation. This war. Everything. You just need to avoid him at all costs. Stay with someone. Felix most likely. We could explain the situation to him, so he understands, and so he doesn’t think we… you know.”

“I get it. I get it.” 

....

“Absolutely not.” 

“Felix, it’s only until I get this sorted.” Felix groaned, tying his hair back. 

“I’m not playing babysitter, and I’m not letting you handle this on your own. You’ll get yourself killed.” You shook your head. 

“He wouldn’t kill me.”

“He actually told you he would.”

“But he wouldn’t. I trust that he wouldn’t, and if one of the two of us were to approach him, it could not be you. Out of the question. It would have to be me, and you both know that, and it has to be as soon as possible. I mean, as in-”

“Have you all seen Dimitri?” Ingrid popped around the corner. “It’s the Empire - they’re coming. Gear up and get ready. We don’t know what forces they’re bringing, but we cannot allow them to take the monastery again.” Of course, of all times. 

“We’ll worry about this later. Do not let this distract you on the battlefield. Focus on surviving and nothing else. Got it?” Felix held a finger to your face. You nodded. “Good. Come on, Sylvain. We’ll see you out there.”

Focus on surviving. You were always focused on surviving. Battle was not merely just slaying your enemies. You were the priority. Not the oncoming enemies. That fact never changed during battle. That was the first thing the professor taught you; however, his selfless behavior on the battlefield would have anyone thinking twice. When it comes to fighting with people you cared about, priority gets muddled. 

Dimitri was no longer focused on surviving. His priority was to kill, slaughter his way to Edelgard. Nothing else mattered. In this way, his fighting has improved tenfold. No reasonable person would want to confront him in physical combat, which made life harder for everybody else. Being a distance fighter, you, Ashe, Annette, and Mercedes were able to watch his back. Of course, Byleth couldn’t risk that many people micromanaging him. For strategy’s sake, it’s suicide. Mercedes was a critical healer and menace being trained a gremory. That source of power would not and could not be squandered. Ashe had worked incredibly hard to be a bow knight, and your most powerful archer can also not be used as a protector of one person. 

The job usually came down to you. Both by order of elimination and by your lack of ability to focus elsewhere. Your eyes were naturally drawn to the splattering blood and the behemoth of a man as the source. Byleth knew this just as well as you. You were the definition of predictable on the battlefield. 

But, the one thing you forgot was that, on a battlefield, nothing is predictable. To be able to predict the cavalier was able to reach you with his javelin was precautionary, week-one lessons, but, still, it sunk into your side. Unimaginable pain. The raw snap of impact. Warm blood cascading down your leg. Think… think! You had to get somewhere safe. Somewhere an imperial soldier wouldn’t finish you off. Hopefully, someone else would take care of that soldier before they reached you. 

Each inch was crippling. The gathering of bushes and trees seemed so far, and your energy was slipping exponentially fast. You’d be out from blood loss in due time. It even began to drip from your mouth and onto the already stained grass. Almost there. The moment your foot crossed the threshold to the hideaway, you went lip on your back. Smoke and flames met the already decaying sky. 

You glanced down your body. The javelin was at least a third in your body. Getting it out would just expedite the process, so you allowed yourself to lie your head back. Distant shouts and screams and metal clashing filled the air. The smell of the earth around you drowned out by the putrid scent of burning flesh. Something you never take note of while fighting for your life. 

Peace was not a word to use in these places, but you had no other one to use as you lied still. Is this what Dimitri meant? You wondered what he would think and say when he heard, or even saw, your death. Your death. Another nameless, pointless death in Edelgard’s ruthless path to her goal. You can see Mercedes and Annie crying. Maybe even Sylvain and Ingrid. Felix, perhaps, would cry, but you were sure he’d be pissed at you. And Dimitri… 

You sobbed. Perhaps you really were worthless, but you wanted to hope, to pray that he would be there each time you opened your eyes back to the gruel world around you. Each time, he wasn’t. 

Until he was. 

Blood dripped down his face, none of which was his own. It matted down his locks and dripped from each lock. Areadbhar glowed in his hand and dragged across the flattened grass and mud. The air was only able to jostle the very ends of his hair. His mouth opened, canines peeking from the corner of his lips. Leaving the smoke and fire behind him, Dimitri got larger and larger. 

Goddess, he was beautiful. Even as he stared with an empty eye down at you, you couldn’t help but gasp. An angel of death. You moved to rise, but the rip of his lance on your breast pushed you back down. His eye traversed down your figure to your wound. The weapon rose and fell with your breath. 

“Dimitri,” you breathed out. 

“I told you, did I not?” His chin rose and Areadbhar’s tip dug just a hair deeper. “Foolish Y/N. You are too weak for the thick of battle.” You squeezed your eyes shut. “But you will not die by imperial hands. I will not allow it. If you are to die, it will be by my hands.” Your fists gripped the grass. Dimitri hummed. “You won’t say that I wouldn’t? Or do you finally realize the truth?” 

“If you’re going to do it, just do it. Neither of us need this “ -you coughed -”stalling.” His elbow retracted and you winced, ready for the final blow.

“Y/N!” Sylvain. At the silence that followed, you peeked an eye open. Dimitri was focused on the source of the voice, giving you room to squiggle away until he forced the lance forward again. This time, the tip traced your left cheekbone. “Y/N!” Dimitri was daring you to speak, but, right now, you could hardly breath. 

“You said you were not scared of me, before. Are you scared now?” He paused. “You said you want to see what I see. Do you keep your word? Do you honor it?” Were you supposed to answer? Fear crippled your ability to formulate words. “You will not die yet.”  Areadbhar’s glow now dominated your left visual field. 

In a second, everything in that field went black, and you screamed. 

…

“I watched you go down,” Felix said. “You were at the higher ground, where you usually are in the midst of battle. You might as well have painted a target on your back if I can see you from across the plain, you idiot. That javelin went into your side,” amber eyes locked onto the bandages covering your side, “but I watched nothing touch your eye.” 

Thank the goddess for Manuela and Mercedes. Without an expertise in white magic, you would be long dead. By the same token, thank the goddess for Sylvain who found you bloody and passed out in the cover of the bushes and delivered you to them on horseback. 

Your fingers traced the bandages that wrapped around your head and covered your left eye. Everything to your left periphery and everything not covered by your right eye was black. It didn’t throb, didn’t hurt anymore, because there were no more nerves to send that pain to your brain. 

“What happened, Y/N?” Ingrid cut in. Her, Felix, and Annette stood around your bed in the medical bed. You shook your head. 

“I… I don’t remember. The last thing I recall is crawling towards the cover. I don’t even know if I got there.” 

“Liar.” Felix abruptly stood. “Stop defending that boar, and just say it.” Your mouth opened, but Ingrid cut him off. 

“Felix, are you saying you think Dimitri took her eye?” 

“I know it,” he snapped back. “I’m right, aren’t I, Y/N? Just say it. Say that beast took your eye while we were all distracted in battle.” Your eyes glanced to the others, unconsciously asking for help. 

“Felix, you’re adding unnecessary stress. Come on. We should give them space. We’re lucky they’re not dead” Her hand locked onto Felix’s arm. He grimaced, glaring down at you while he shook himself from her grip. 

“When will you ever start caring about yourself? There is more death than just physical.” He spit out before stomping out of the room. Ingrid sent you a sympathetic smile and followed her childhood friend out. Annette left soon as well under the excuse of giving you time to rest, but you could not rest. Dimitri’s face haunted you every time your working eye closed. Every throb was its own lance. Its own mark. 

His mark. 

You thought you were crazy the first time you reflected on why you and Dimitri’s eye total was the same as a normal human being. You thought you were insane for romanticizing it. It was terrifying. Inhumane. To you, at least, but to him, you knew, it was a mark of possession. That when people saw you, thought of you, it would always be connected to him, but it was also a threat. Not only to those who dare try to do you harm that isn’t him, but to you. I told you. This is what you get and will continue to get. 

You waited until the sun set, until the priests and priestesses would no longer be in your room to cry, so your pathetic cries of anguish would be bouncing off the walls in peace. Curling in on yourself, you buried your chin between your arms and stared into the dark room. Waiting and watching, a large silhouette emerged from the darkest corner and approached. Cold claws of his armor wiped away the tears on one cheek while simultaneously breaking the skin. You could only barely make him out through the moonlight in the open window next to you. Dimitri circled the bed, looking down at you from the side before bending down and planting his lips on your cheek. His warm tongue wiped at the newfound beads of blood, and you hissed at the contact. He separated himself just enough to look at the bandages around your eye. 

“I get it,” you said. “I get it.” 

…

Luckily (as lucky as you can get during the situation), the damage cut clean through the nerves, so all ganglion cells and connections to the optic nerve were completely severed. No nerves. No signal to the brain. No pain. Still, it would be a while before the tissue repaired and scabbed over. 

You didn’t know what to do with Dimitri, frankly. Part of you was terrified to even approach him. Another was equally as terrified, but this was out of what he would do if you were with someone else again. You were sure of the correlation between your broken door and your stolen eye. You wonder, then, what else he could have seen? Sparring with Felix or advice sessions with Ashe or… too many instances come to mind. 

Byleth pushed you to train more with your periphery severely impacted, and, when the time to march came, confined you to Garreg Mach until you were proficient enough not to get yourself killed. 

“Good,” was all Dimitri said on the matter. It wasn’t until your assault into the Empire that Byleth deemed you ready for actual battle. Up until then, you spent your time training. First, it was with the knights, until all of a sudden they no longer desired to raise arms with you. Something about the demon over your shoulder. You looked to Catherine, who glanced to the door, where a large shadow quickly disappeared. You inhaled sharply and pursued. 

“No one is willing to train with me. Do you have something to do with it?” 

“They can’t help you,” he responded. He quickly strode down familiar, overgrown paths down to the fields below until you both reached the same field he had trained with you in years ago. Dimitri spun around, raising his lance. “They don’t understand.” From your blindspot, he swung, and you barely dodged out of the way, feeling the very wind from the force. “Get up and arm yourself.” You quickly shuffled to your feet.

“Why? Aren’t you… don’t you plan to kill me, anyway?” 

“Equip yourself. I will not have filthy empire hands decide your demise, and I won’t have you staying behind on your own.” You gave up on trying to read into him. “Now, fight.” 

It was brutal. Unlike the helpful and cautious nature of his corrections and demands, you learned through mistakes. If your leg got slashed, you moved it the next time. If you were pushed and forced to one side, you adjusted your posture for the next time. Dimitri gave you no breaks, no time to tend to the cuts and bruises he gave you. There was hardly time to catch your breath before he was charging again, forcing your back against a nearby oak. He seemed to not be bothered or fatigued at any point. 

It would not be the first time your back was pinned against this very tree. Dimitri growled, his weapon lodged into the wood right behind your ear. A moment passed where it was five years ago, hands tight on your hips and heavy breaths swallowed by one another. Now, he pulled his weapon back and went in for another strike. 

“It’s dark. I think we need to go back.”

“You think they will not use the guise of darkness? That we will always fight when the sun is out? Arm yourself.” 

You limped back to Garreg Mach. The only real guide you had, with Dimitri’s brutal pace, was his footstep imprints and the sound of him pressing on. By the time you reached the gate, you nearly collapsed with Dimitri far ahead. Thank the goddess Anna was around to get help. Byleth’s dark cape flew behind them as they rushed through the market. They rushed you, as fast as you could go on weak legs, to the same bed you were confined to with your eye. Manuela dropped the elixir in her hand as you and your entourage busted through her door. 

“Goddess, what happened?! No matter. Get them inside.” 

Felix was going to kill you. 

But still, when you were able, you met Dimitri again in the same field. And again. And again. Until you were no longer on the verge of death each nightfall when you returned. Your former housemates did not hesitate to chastise you or even micromanage you, but, inevitably, they had to do their own work, and you set off. Felix gave you an innumerable amount of choice words before it seemed he gave up.

You were confident heading into the empire. No opponent you would face, close up or far, was Dimitri. They were far smaller, thinner, and weaker. You’d even say they seemed to have less physical intent to kill you compared to the blonde. You traded in your bandages to a white eyepatch similar to Dimitri’s except there was still padding for the raw skin underneath. Something that inevitably drew enemy forces towards you. 

“Y/N?” Despite the cruel, ruthless nature of battle, Ferdinand’s voice held the same noble gentleness. Your eye, wide and wild, met his. Across a stretch of corpses, the redhead stood tall, long hair matted down in the wind. You swallowed. “Y/N!” He called again, eyes wide behind you. In a split second, you turned to see an armored knight’s axe impending down on you. The next, a lance impaling them that breezed from over your shoulder. 

“You killed your own man.”

“He almost killed you.” You hurried to dislodge his weapon from the body.

“...Thank you,” you muttered, handing the lance back to him. Your eyes rose to behind his shoulder. “F-Ferdinand!” Your warning came too late. Dimitri’s blunt force knocked him to the ground. There was no warning, no room for words, before the sickening sound of death cracked in front of you. Again… and again… and again. You squeezed your eyes shut. 

“Keep your eyes open. This? Was your fault.” Blood splattered onto his pale features, adding to the pattern already decorating his skin. “Let’s go. Stay by me.” Not that you usually didn’t. Still, your legs would not move. Not with the fresh corpse between the two of you. “What?” Dimitri hissed out. “Are you upset? He was just another body in our way... unless it was something more to you?” You shook your head, taking a hold of your bow tighter. “Good. Let’s go.” Dimitri did not bother to even look back, and you… you could not even look down, and hurried to follow. 

You didn’t sleep for days. Ferdinand’s kind smile on your mind. You did not dare tell anyone of his gruesome demise. Though, looking at the detail, the monstrous nature of it, it didn’t take too much  thought to guess who was responsible for it. You couldn’t even bring yourself to celebrate Dedue’s return. The thing about him though was that he never let too many things go unnoticed. 

“How are you?” He simply asked, and you lost it. 

“-I couldn’t do anything. I-I couldn’t! Or… or I didn’t. Oh, goddess, I don’t know.” Your hands shook in front of you. “He can do what he will to me, but to others? Because of me? I… fuck. I couldn’t tell anyone. Felix and co. are already suspicious enough.” 

“I am sorry. I know those words do not mean much now, but, for what it is worth, I am.” He paused, furrowing his brows and focusing on the ground. “I-,”

“Y/N.” Dimitri hulked in the doorway. Where the hell does he come from? Dedue stood promptly. 

“Your Highness,” he greeted. Dimitri briefly regarded the Duscur man before focusing on you once again. 

“Come,” he said, and you followed, wishing Dedue a small farewell. Dimitri’s cape glided against the concrete. He led you across the bridge and into the empty echoes of the cathedral. It was far too late for any priests or students to linger. Especially with Dimitri lurking around in the late hours. “You still think about him.” 

“I still think about his death,” you carified. 

“Do not tell me you mourn for a man who was going to imprison you.” You scoffed. 

“He saved me.” 

“In order to take you back to the empire for information. Who else would he like to obtain than the one he grew feelings for? Do not be so naive to think he saved you so altruistically.” Your teeth dug into your bottom lip. 

“You don’t know that.” 

“I do. You and I both know how war works. Do you think Edelgard and her army would not use every former connection to get ahead? There is no line on the path to victory.  Being weak, showing compassion, is just how you get killed. How the enemy wins.” You shook your head. 

“You said you were going to kill me. Did you not save me for that reason? My death is the same no matter whose hands it is by. It will have the same impact. One less body between Edelgard and you.” Dimitri’s eye glanced downwards, then shot back up to meet yours with a small chuckle. 

“Are you not already dead? Have you not already succumbed to the wills of those who control your mind? Have you not already become your own form of monster?” You shook your head and took a step back.

“N-no, I’m not.” 

“You are not? You allow these cuts and bruises to litter your body. You allow your own eye to be stolen. You allow others to die. You allow all of this without consequence. You are a worse kind of monster: the one that allows another to live, to unleash without consequence. You hardly see the others anymore. You do not train with them, eat with them. They tend to your wounds and you run to get more.” Metal fingers gripped your chin and forced your head upwards. “I told you I would kill you, and I have.” 

HIs kiss was fire compared to the ice of his armor pushing against you. All-consuming, Dimitri’s lips molded to yours and his teeth pierced your skin. He licked at your lips, and you willingly opened your maw to let him in. You willingly allowed him to drown you out, to push you towards a pew and lock you between his body and the wood. He only separated to breath before digging for more, more. His tongue dragged across your own and touched upon your teeth, tasting your intricacies with increasing vigor. He inhaled every exhale you panted into his mouth. These were not the kisses Dimitri five years ago gifted you. 

“You taste the same…” he whispered. “Show yourself to me. Let us be dead together.” 

[niks-minion]

Okay but the Todoroki household was only ever abusive until after Shouto was born and that makes me so sad. This whole toxic family dynamic is all Shouto has ever known...It’s sounds to me like there was a lot of resentment towards Shouto as a child (from Touya, then Natsuo for a while, and finally his mother)... he probably grew up thinking everyone hated him. Don’t get me started on Touya either, I can’t believe Enji can fully watch his child break down like that and still say shit like “Touya’s case was regrettable” with no ounce of remorse once he’s “died” years later. Why has it taken him so long to realize just how much he’s hurt his family? (Sorry for the rant, just needed to get the off my chest...)

Hey!

No need to be sorry, rant all you want here ;)

It still baffles me that Shouto managed to grow up so... normal. Look at him, he’s the kindest soul here! Always there for his friends 🥲 After the shit he endured as a child it’s just uncanny really.

You’re right, maybe only baby Fuyumi was trying back then, and that’s why they seemed closer than Todo and Natsu in the beginning. But since his training had started he was completely alone.

Shouto took the worst of it for sure. The only light was his mom. For the very short period of time, but at least he was loved even if a little bit. She gave his faith. Showed the path. Thanks mama Todo.

Except that Natsu didn’t like him. And let’s not forget Toyua was around for some time too. After seeing the biggest bro’s attempt to attack Shou this week I can’t imagine it got better. We see here what exactly Toyua thinks of his baby bro.

So yeah. Sometimes I imagine if Enji wasn’t so driven by his selfish desire to pass the legacy and be on top, would they all be just a happy family, strong siblings bonds, with tons of light and warming memories to summon in a rainy day...

I believe for Todo senior this was kinda a turning point.

Why it took him so long? Idk.

But the same way “this is your power!!” saved Shouto from his hatred, this pic above is Enji’s moment of epiphany.

We’ll see where it lands him.