would it be petty of me to contact my brother's school to demand they give my brother $8 back after he bought an ice cream at lunch with a $10 bill i gave him and then they refused to give him the change back
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VACATION
Oh, hello there. Oh, this? I'm just using this online shopping website to look at some birthday cards online. You see, it is my birthday on Thursday, and it's one of the ones where the number has a zero at the end of it, and I'm looking for the perfect card that I can demand my family and friends all buy for me, so I can have "one happening birthday". Finally!
I've taken some time off work, and I'm more-or-less going to dedicate the weekend to taking a couple of day trips and doing some other things I've put off for a while. And, I just realized, this would be much easier if I didn't have to worry about updating this while doing all that. So, I'm taking this week off, effective last night when I was GONNA do a post, but then I realized I didn't have all of my research materials handy, and it took all night to get those things downloaded, and then it was late, and also I wanted to watch seven episodes of "Tanner '88" instead.
So this is my announcement of my intent to not post, probably until next Monday. Some of you might say "that sucks dick", but it's a dick that we all have to suck.
So here's a big Mail Bag post:
In reference to my pondering about Marc Summer's absence in a Robot Chicken sketch about Double Dare:
apparently they did get marc summers for some later episode. i know this because i watched him interview tim heidecker on some webshow/podcast he has and i remember him bragging that he'd been on robot chicken and asking tim if he ever had, and tim kinda going "uhhh, no, i don't think so" lol
LOL. Tim & Eric couldn't be more at odds with Robot Chicken. I am going to guess that when they were younger and much more "punk rock" they probably shit talked them when being interviewed for cool magazines like Time or Zillions.
One time my job hired a guy with whom I had maybe one of the worst personality clashes I ever had (I am a demon from hell and I have zero ability to not show it when I'm annoyed or angry with somebody, sorry to that guy I wish I weren't like this okay), and he got it out of me that I liked Adult Swim and he immediately tried to talk to me about Robot Chicken, and I was like "I don't really watch that show" and he immediately asked "don't tell me you like that Tim & Eric crap!"
whats your favorite thing you bought at a second hand store to make yourself not look like a looky loo
I have a B&W video monitor I bought at a garage sale. It's beautiful, very flipable, but I paid 5 bucks for it and like how it looks. VHS tapes actually look amazing on it. I wanna figure out a way to rig it up with some kind of raspberry pi machine that just loops old cartoons on it or something.
did you do something to the banner? it seems more...expansive.
I tried to get it to display more "properly" because it bothered me how pixelated it looked but I think I sorta fucked it up. I tried to change it back but tumblr's edit feature sucks. I guess I should just do an AI upscale or something. But yes I shittily drew on it to make it look wider, you caught me.
Me love the way you walk sometimes The way you talk is so hot Now you know let’s have a shot of rum Then me can make you come With me to the ocean That would be phat You can be my bow cat Nice ital breeze Bring you to your knees We're jammin'
punani likers everywhere, this one is for us
That's Shenmue 3, dipshit
Dang it, you are right.
Brownies was probably the best episode they did that season and I was surprised they weren't willing to do that style of show for the entire series. It seemed more like what Adult Swim wanted from them?
Something for "da" stoners... as a weed-taker myself., I would have to agree!
When was the last time you POGGED off?
What bitch?
Lol I was being silly telling a stupid joke. Chapotraphouse has the ice cream as his sound bite now.
I tell you this guys, I had a weird dream that Toonami Tom said he would sponsor me I'd have to sell out and let him hold the Adult Swim 2021 brand. And I'd have to suck his dick. It was a disgusting dream. No Tom, I would never do that in real life.
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ATEEZ when you're on your period:
Seonghwa:
Honestly, this is Seonghwa's time to shine. I see him as such a caring, attentive boyfriend. The kind that'll track your periods and will probably know that they're coming before you do lol, so don't be surprised when everything you need is already at your apartment a week before, from tampons, to chocolates, to heating pads. Not only that, but this cutie will also be super patient and understanding, giving you all the space you need when you're moody, and of course happily giving you as much cuddles as you need when you feel emotional or just in need of some affection. But don't get him wrong, he will not let you get away with skipping breakfast or talking bad about yourself. Basically, you've got nothing to worry about when it comes to your menstrual cycle, Seonghwa already planned everything to the smallest detail.
"Here's you favorite chocolate bar, babe, and also your favorite stuffed animal. And I made you a warm bath, I know you always get cramps during the first day."
Hongjoong:
Hongjoong is definitely the type of guy to be sort of clueless the first time he sees you in your apartment, wrapped in twenty blankets and surrounded by chocolate wrappers. But after you timidly ask him if he can go buy you some more tampons/pads, he'll mentally face-palm himself for not understanding sooner, before rushing to the supermarket, determined to make you feel better. He's that boyfriend who gets lost in the feminine care aisle and ends up buying one of each kind because he had no idea what's the difference between all these colors and package sizes lmao. But he'll also be super sweet, lingering around you to the point it gets irritating, because he just wants to be there when you need something, and offering as much kisses and cuddles as you like, because according to him, hugs fix everything uwu.
"Why are there so much types of pads??? Aren't periods the same thing for all women??"
Yunho:
Aww, this boy is shy shy shy. I feel like Yunho will turn fifty shades of red when you ask him to buy you some tampons and painkillers on his way back from work uwu. But he'll want to appear like a dependent boyfriend, so he'll swallow down his nerves and go buy you everything you need, even if he'll remember an hour after he enters the supermarket that he has absolutely no idea what to buy and he needs to call you so you can help him differentiate between all the brands and types lmao. I can also see Yunho being the kind of guy to look online for 'remedies for period cramps' or 'how to pass that time of the month', and just randomly throw suggestions in the air when you're moody or in pain until you shut him up and the both of you settle down for a cuddle session lmao.
"Do you want to do yoga with me? I heard that it helps increase the blood flow and reduces period cramps."
Yeosang:
Yeosang will be that one protective boyfriend uwu. I can see him being so bothered whenever he sees you sad or annoyed, he'd fight those stupid cramps of yours if he could lmao. He'll buy so much chocolates, put on a movie to distract you, wrap you in heating pads and he'll also give you a massage, anything to see you comfortable and content. Even if you ask him to leave you alone, he'll stick around, not being able to let you suffer alone uwu. Will probably make you cry because he's just so sweet and who did you save in your past life to deserve an angel like him? But don't worry, he'll be there to console you and cheer you up with kisses and hugs, no matter how silly you think you are.
"Y/N, why are you crying? Shh, I'm right here, baby, I don't want to see anything but a smile on your face, okay?"
San:
This baby will baby the hell out of you. San has absolutely no problem running to the nearest store to buy you anything you need, no matter the hour or the absurdity of it. I can see him as the type to cling to you the whole time you're on your period, and he'll definitely use this time of the month to spend every moment he can with you, preferably cuddling in bed with his plushies. This sweetie will be so understanding when you get mood swings, listening to you ramble about the stupidest things and cooing at you when you cry over an animated movie lol. He'll also massage you when you get cramps and feed you ice cream and sing you lullabies and just be the perfect boyfriend in general uwu.
"Babyy~~ stop cuddling with that plushie and hug your boyfriend instead~" *pouting intensifies*
Mingi:
Another flustered baby to add to the list uwu. Mingi is going to be so lost and helpless when you tell him that you're having period cramps. I think he might be the type of dude to call his mom and ask her what helps a girl on her period lol. I don't think Mingi will necessarily be clingy, but he'll definitely stop whatever he's doing whenever you want the smallest thing, not complaining once, even when he has to massage your abdomen for the fifth time in four hours. His naturally innocent and happy behaviour will distract you from the pain and the mood swings, even on your worst periods, and he'll try his best to keep you smiling and calm, humming to you as he cards his fingers through your hair gently.
"Did you order another massage, my lady? Song Mingi is here to make the pain go away!"
Wooyoung:
I can definitely see Woo being the type of boyfriend to cheer you up by being his goofy self and making you laugh so much lmao. The second you'll tell your boyfriend that the time has come, he's already on your way to your apartment with loads of snacks and sweets (it's his excuse to finally end that diet lol). Wooyoung won't let you even think about the pain, immediately putting on a movie and getting the two of you blankets and pillows before collapsing onto the sofa with you in his arms. The two of you will probably just goof around, but if you do get sad, Wooyoung won't hesitate to kiss away all of your tears, encouraging you to let it all out uwu.
"It's okay, sweetie, cry as much as you need. I'm right here with you."
Jongho:
Even though he is the maknae of the group, I feel like Jongho will be the most unbothered one, at least from the outside, probably because he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed about your periods. He just wants you to feel as comfortable as possible uwu. I can see Jongho as the kind of boyfriend to do whatever you ask him without questions, and also as the type to have everything ready beforehand, no matter how weird and uncommon it may be lol. But I also think that this baby boy will get quite awkward and helpless if you start crying for no reason, pulling you into a gentle hug and just standing there with his mind racing, not knowing what to do lol. Also, if you cuddle him super close, he'll turn all blushy and embarrassed and will probably bury your head in his chest so you won't see uwu.
"Why are you looking at me like that? It makes sense that you'll want to eat pickled radish, that's why I bought it."
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Fall For Me 🌬
Chapter 15 ;
the following days, you started greeting Jeno by his locker every morning. you even bought extra breakfast for him sometimes, back to giving him snacks like when you just started going after him.
"morning Jeno! here is your favourite chocolate bun for breakfast!" you chirped as soon as he reached his locker.
Jeno smiled widely and thanked you as he accepted the bun.
Aya and Jaemin were relieved the two of you weren't fighting or having a cold war with each other anymore. they really didn't want your group of friends to be awkward.
you also did not hang out much with Yangyang after that day. you only talked to him in class and gave all your attention to Jeno besides that.
Yangyang was a bit sad but he didn't take it to heart. he trusted and respected your decisions. he didn't want to ruin your friendship with Jeno again.
during short breaks, you would go to Jeno's desk to talk about random things with him.
it was just like a few months ago when you just confessed to Jeno and was trying to make him fall for you. Jeno felt happy but at the same time, he was a bit uneasy.
even though your actions were sincere and did not seemed forced at all, there was something different. he didn't know what, he just felt like something was different.
Jeno shook his thoughts aside and just enjoyed your attention.
"hey Jeno, i was thinking if you wanted to study together for the upcoming tests?" you asked nervously.
Jeno smiled and nodded. "sure, this weekend? where should we meet up?".
you nodded your head but then shook it.
"this weekend, but we don't need to meet up. i kind of wanted to experience the online study date we did again." you bit your lips, afraid Jeno would think that you were weird. instead, Jeno only chuckled and patted your head.
"sure! why not".
as promised, the two of you videocalled each other on the Saturday, just like your first virtual date.
however, you were not staring at Jeno through the screen of your phone but were actually focusing fully on your reading materials.
it was Jeno who was admiring you from the other side of the screen. Jeno only snapped back into reality when you called out his name to ask some questions that you were unsure of.
a couple of hours later, Jeno's stomach grumbled from hunger. he patted his tummy and happily suggested to you.
"shall we eat together now?"
your eyes were still focused on your book as you replied him.
"oh you can eat, i had a heavy breakfast just now, i'm still full."
Jeno frowned slightly. "are you sure?" you only nodded at his question and continued practising solving some equations.
Jeno waited for a bit but seeing that you were really not eating with him, Jeno sadly cooked a bowl of instant noodles for himself.
as he ate, you were already revising your next subject. it seemed like your main purpose for this 'date' was to really revise for your tests, not to make cute happy memories with Jeno. the said boy sighed as he ate his lunch by himself. the hot noodles felt cold when he ate alone.
before he could suggest anything else, you told Jeno you had to go help your mother so you had to end the videocall.
the next week, you approached Jeno again during break as usual. this time, you invited him to walk back home with you today. Jeno of course agreed happily.
you actually didn't plan to eat anything on your way back home, but Jeno saw an ice cream stand and wanted to buy for the both of you.
"mmmmm cheap ice cream is always the best!" Jeno exclaimed and chomped on his cold dessert.
you chuckled by his side and licked yours slowly. "for me, free ice cream is the best!" you stuck your tongue out as you joked.
you and Jeno walked side by side, having small talks here and there while enjoying your ice creams.
"ah Jeno, you have some on your lips" you told him and pointed to your own lips.
Jeno frowned and muttered. "you're not gonna wipe it for me?"
you blinked. "hmm??"
Jeno awkwardly coughed and quickly licked the stain on his lips.
"nothing"
you chuckled again lightly and playfully nudged Jeno. "i don't have any tissues with me right now. it would be dirty to wipe them with my thumb".
Jeno only hummed in acknowledgment. you only sighed in your heart and continued walking in silence.
"y/n. tomorrow during lunch, can you meet me on the rooftop for a while?".
you bit your lips.
"ok."
Jeno felt the slight coldness in your voice but he thought it was maybe his imagination.
"great!"
"i like you, y/n. can i be your boyfriend?"
.
.
.
a/n : hi!!! sorry for the late update >~< hope yall enjoyed this chapter! sadly, next week will be the last chapter for Fall For Me 🌬 ! but do stay tuned for the EPILOGUE chapter after~
taglist : @neomoonmr @marklexleaf @cookydream @sunflowerhae @bockhyun
masterlist prev chapter next chapter >>
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Zombies And Ice Cream
Tao x Fem!Reader
Word Count - 7.6k
Genre - Crack/Romance
Summary -
You and Tao are in the middle of an argument when an unexpected guest arrives. Will you both survive the uninvited pest? Is this the end of your relationship? And will Tao ever get his ice cream?
Warnings -
Suggestive / implied sexual content, swearing, violence, death and violence (non-major character)
A/N -
This fanfic is inspired by a similar scene in Shaun Of The Dead.
It is apart of the EXO collab The Undead run by @biaswreckingfics. Please check out the Masterlist and the other writers of this collab!
KPOP Masterlist
There they sit all in a row, polished and protected from the elements inside their glass encasings. A collector's dream. Perfect for daddy. Never aging. Never changing. Their creepy eyes unwavering.
Tao’s beloved BearBrick Babies will live forever if cared for correctly unlike your delicate flowers which last less than a season. Their frailty is the draw for you. Unlike these obnoxious toys that he can’t seem to get enough of them, flowers are alive.
Turning to look back outside the window, rage brews as you stare out the window, the obnoxious teal muscle car blocking the view of the garden you spent weeks planting. Is it too much to ask for this one small thing? It took painstaking effort to arrange the perfect garden. You had even done it with inferior tools. After planting your beautiful flowers, you had thrown the disastrous gardening supplies out in last week's trash. The new ones will be arriving any day now. Tools that are sure to make you feel as pretty as the flowers you plant.
The sun room is a place where you’re meant to be able to escape and you can’t even have that. The anger crescendos into a squeal of frustration as you realise the angle of the car suggests the flowers you placed into the ground just yesterday have been run over and are currently shredded under the flashy tires of the eyesore Tao decided to buy on a whim. He might as well smash all your fine china as well, just destroy everything you love.
The floorboards squeak above as the plant killer himself makes his way from the bedroom down the stairs. Each step creaks from wear and tear, a reminder of another thing that needs to be fixed. Of course, instead of coughing up the money for house maintenance, Tao decided to buy a ferrari.
“Why are you carrying on so early? I was trying to sleep.”
If this were a cartoon, there would be flames rising from your exaggerated, beetroot-stained face as you turn to address the oblivious man. He didn’t even bother to get dressed, adorned in his Dragon Ball Z socks and the boxer briefs he found online with his face (his own face!) on them, a toothy grin spreading across his manhood. And of course he had to ask you to suck him off that one time while he was wearing them. You'll never forget that horrific moment no matter how deep you hide it in the back of your mind. Just one of the many ridiculous experiences Tao decided he couldn’t live without trying.
Looking at him, you're surprised by the tousled hair and dark rings. He had gone to bed early last night after throwing a fit about you eating the last Cornetto. Carmel. It was delicious and you’re glad you ate it.
“The flowers.” The words are soft as you hold back your fury, you don’t want to start another fight. Not on the first work-free day you’ve had together in over three months.
“What flowers? I don’t see any flowers.”
“You don’t see the flowers because your nasty vehicle destroyed them,” you say, your fists tight balls. “I thought we agreed to park in the garage, which is why we bought the damn thing.”
The clench of his jaw signals the beginning of an argument. He’s stubborn and even though he knows what he’s done is wrong, you’re willing to bet he’s about to push back, probably bring up something he feels you’ve done to justify his mistake.
“It’s a bit hard to fit in the garage when you practically double park. You shouldn’t be allowed out on the road with the way you drive.”
Bingo. He knows how much you hate to drive. It’s something you avoid whenever possible. The idea that other people's lives are in your hands every time you get behind the vehicle is enough to keep you from enjoying it. Walking is just easier. If it’s somewhere close, like say your mother's house, it’s easier to just walk.
“Well at least I didn’t buy some ridiculously overpriced pussy magnet.”
“Pussy magnet?”
“Pussy magnet!”
“How is that-”
“We all know the only reason you bought it is so you can soak in all the heart-eyed girls from work. And your incel friends that think of you as their God,” you say, your voice pitching up as he tries to interrupt. “Pride is a sin, baby. It’s such a male ego move and you must know that as they praise you, they’re all thinking about what it is you're overcompensating for.” As you finish you hold up your pinky and wiggle it around.
“Fuck off. I don’t have a small dick.”
“I know that but they don’t,” you say with a shrug. You're sick of his constant need for validation.
“God, you’re a vindictive harpy. Why are you such a bitch in the morning?”
“Why do you care so much? Because you know I’m right.”
“You sound like your mother.”
“Fuck you.”
“Two harpies living in the same city is bad enough as it is and then she just had to go and move in just two blocks from us. She just had to, didn't she? Like a leech she follows you wherever you go and it’s me who’s always stuck dealing with her.”
“Like you can talk! You think your mother is a saint?”
“Don’t bring up my mother!”
“Then don’t bring up mine!”
“I can’t keep living like this. Every day I want to wrap my hands around your pretty little neck and snap it like a twig,” he says, venom dripping from his lips as his eyes bore into yours.
“Go ahead then. Snap my pretty little neck,” you say, jutting out your chin in an act of defiance. He would never touch you, not like that. Tao may be a lot of things but he has never hurt you and you know he never will.
“I’m going for a drive,” he says, turning towards the door but stopping in front of the window.
“Just go then.” What is he waiting for?
“There’s a girl in the garden.”
“Oh? Go on, then. If you think you can do better. Run off with your new girl.”
“No, there’s really a girl out there. Look.”
At first you think he’s talking about his car until you see her too. Her strawberry blonde curls fall across her slack, ashen face as she wobbles back and forth behind the teal car. “What the fuck? Is she drunk?”
Tao taps his knuckles against the window, swearing under his breath when she ignores him before using sweeping gestures with his arms to get her attention. It works. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as her head lolls to the side. She starts to shuffle forward, her white slippers with Sheraton written across the side kicking up dirt as she walks towards the window. She must have walked over from the hotel - it’s only a five minute walk from here. She must have gotten turned around in her intoxicated stupor.
As she gets closer you can see her dirt-crusted elbows and knees and a strange red smudge across her nose and her left cheek. Even with the blemish she is practically perfect. No makeup but under the white robe is a black lace lingerie one piece that pushes her up in all the right places, making her look like a Barbie doll. Frowning, you tug at your shirt, pushing your breasts up and wiggling them back and forth. They don’t compare to her and you look over at Tao with a glare. Of course he’s looking at her. Pig.
“She’s pissed!” Tao laughs before shaking his head, walking in the direction of the door. “Don’t worry, I’ll go and chase her out.”
“I’m not worried but Tao...”
“What now? I thought I was doing you a favour here.”
“You’re in your underwear.”
“Yeah? Well maybe our new friend shouldn’t have gotten shitfaced last night,” he says with a stubborn flick of the brow before opening the front door and walking out of view. You dig into your purse hanging off a hook in the hallway, apply some lipstick then follow.
“Excuse me but I need you to get off my property.”
“Our property.”
“For fucks sake,” Tao says, looking over his shoulder at you from the walkway connecting your door to the driveway before glancing back at the girl standing by the window. She turns back towards him with staggered steps, one of her Sheraton slippers lost in the grass, forgotten behind her as she makes her way over to Tao. “We’re just trying to have a quiet morning and I can’t do that with some rando in the garden.”
“Technically it’s just the lawn.”
“I swear to God, woman.”
“Well it is. The garden is the area your ridiculous little car is currently parked in,” you say with a shrug as the drunk girl gets closer, her eyes locked in on Tao as he turns around to you.
“Is this really the time? Why are you always on my dick? I am-” Right as he steps towards you, the drunk swipes at the air behind him, a soft gurgling sound erupting from her small frame. “Holy shit, lady.”
“She’s smashed!” you laugh, starting to walk down the path to the pair, adjusting your hair as you walk.
“Looks like you had a great night,” Tao says with a chuckle, shaking his head. “Whoa, whoa hands to yourself there.”
“Oh, another one of your fangirls?”
He’s gorgeous. People flock to his sexy aura but this is getting ridiculous. You have to be worried about these desperate freaks coming to your home now? This one is half naked and practically throwing herself at him, her hands grabbing at his naked skin.
“Very funny,” he says while trying to push the lush off, her hands caressing him as she starts to bite the air right by his face. He stumbles and they both fall to the ground.
“Oh wow, looks like she’s got the hots for you.” This wanton slut. “I mean, don’t let me stop you, just pretend I’m not here, I guess.”
“She is attacking me,” Tao says, his voice starting to lose its lighthearted edge as his muscles tense to keep her in place.
“And with our relationship already on the rocks.” You bend down to take a selfie with the pair on your phone. “Proof for the lawyers.”
“She’s bloody strong! Help me get her off,” Tao sputters, avoiding her gnashing teeth.
“I can’t help but think this is exactly what you deserve,” you say but after seeing his wide eyes and pressed lips, you grab her arm, pulling her back. Tao rolls out from under her and you let her fall face first to the ground. No guilt; she shouldn’t have gotten blackout drunk, she shouldn’t be on your property and she shouldn’t be touching your Tao.
She moans in pain on the ground, trying to get back up. Well, maybe a little guilt. She does have such a pretty face.
“Ma’am, we need you to leave now. You’ve had your fun. Now this is getting old,” you say as she gets back up to her feet, no more Sheraton slippers. “Just go home and sleep it off.”
There are grass stains on her white shirt. Her feet are bare as she hoists each leg one after the other in peculiar, jagged movements, each grueling step bringing her staggering towards you.
Stepping back, you look over to Tao who shrugs. “Just call the police.”
You pull out your phone and start to dial as he looks around the yard for supplies. He jogs over to the side of the house. The girl turns to watch him, her whole body jerking in his direction before turning back to you. The sounds of Tao ransacking the shed drift to the background as the polite message from the emergency line tells you ‘all lines are currently busy’. Too bad if this was a real emergency. What is this city coming to?
“Shit,” you say, the phone slipping from your fingers and crashing to the cold concrete below. Shattered. Fuck.
When you stand up, smashed phone in hand, the drunk girl is disturbingly close. Her stale breath is warm against your face and her dirty hands push roughly against your shoulders. Her teeth are tinged pink inside her wide mouth and smelling of rancid meat. You can’t help yourself - you scream out for Tao.
Her fingertips cling for a moment before being ripped from your shoulders. The girl flings back a few feet where she then stumbles and falls. Tao is holding a large rake in front of him, both hands holding the wooden handle, the metal tines edging threateningly towards her. As she starts to get back up, you wonder why she’s doing this, why she won’t just leave.
“Get back woman, I mean it.” Tao jabs the rake a few times towards her but it doesn’t deter her.
“I doubt a rake is going to scare her.”
“It’s the only thing in the damn shed worth anything. There is so much junk in there, do you ever clean it out?”
“I guess I’ll add it to my list of things to do,” you say as you both back up a little towards the wall as she approaches painstakingly slow. “I ordered new tools. I was going to try and tidy it up then.”
“I’m warning you,” he says to the drunk, pushing against her roughly with the rake, his back now up against the red brick of the house. “Did you call the police?”
“They didn’t answer.”
“They didn’t answer?”
“That’s what I said. They were busy.”
“Well, try them again.”
“I can’t.” He glances over at you from the corner of his eyes, exasperated as he continues to hold the girl back. “I dropped my phone. It’s broken.”
“You have got to be kidding me,” Tao almost growls, his fingers digging deeper into the handle. Pushing back the woman while spitting out profanities, he digs the prongs of the rake into her ribs. She doesn't stop, instead turning towards you, her hands outstretched. Before she is able to get close, Tao jams the rake into her chest, the tines drawing blood as they gouge deep into her skin. “Get lost!”
“Holy shit, Tao!” She falls on her back flush against the manicured lawn, the erect rake sprouting out of her flesh. “You killed her!”
Tao steps back, his face blank, then turns to you. His eyes flicker across your face and body, his hands joining in their search. “Are you okay? Did she hurt you?”
“No. What do we do?” Your whispered breath is shaky. “We can go buy a shovel and bury her under the garden. This isn’t so bad. In fact she’ll make great fertilizer.”
“What the fuck? It was self defense,” he says, an incredulous look on his face. “I appreciate the ride or die mentality but-”
He stops mid sentence as you gasp, your eyes widening as Sheraton Barbie rises, arms out stiff in alignment with the wooden handle still protruding from her chest.
“There’s no way.”
The wood sticking out of her body flails senseless and free, back and forth as she sways, each staggering step creeping closer. Tao looks over and you both burst out laughing, the image of the rake thrashing about while still embedded within this undead woman is too much to bear. You continue to laugh until she’s too close to ignore, stepping back a few spaces before you both run to the front door. Leaning against the door, you look over at each other and laugh again.
“Let’s call the police,” Tao says, grabbing his phone from the living room table. Pushing a few buttons, he presses it to his ear. After a moment of silence he says, “It’s busy.”
“I told you.”
“Yes, but it’s still busy,” he says, handing you the phone. “Hold that and let me know when they answer.”
“Where are you going?”
“We need to find weapons. Something to use against that- that thing.”
“She’s dead. You killed Sheraton Barbie.”
He looks at you with one eyebrow raised before he nods. “I’m well aware of that.”
“I mean, I think she might be a zombie.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” A loud thump on the door makes you both jump and when you turn to look, the Sheraton Barbie is outside. Her grubby hands press against your window and the wooden rake sticks out lengthwise against the glass as she chews the air looking right at you. Every time she moves the rake moves with her, thudding hard against the window.
“She’s going to break it,” you say, looking up at him. “What do we have down here that we can use? What about your Bearbrick Babies?”
“Don’t even joke.”
“They’re right there. It’s in the name. They are freaking bricks, Tao,” you say, pointing towards the case holding his collection, the pristine gleam of the clear glass calling out to be opened. The banging of wood on glass from outside punctures the silence every three to four seconds. “We don’t have many options.”
“I would rather that trashy, drunk undead ‘Barbie’ break in here and rip out my intestines while I’m still alive. We are not hurting the Bearbrick’s. We have other options.”
The banging increases. It’s every one to two seconds now. The audible sound of glass cracking ringing out throughout the room. “Well you better find something else quick or we won’t have a goddamn window.”
“Fuck.” Tao squeezes his head, the force of his hands against his skull turning his knuckles white.
“Ah!” You dive to the bottom of the display case's shelf, the one covered in a light blue marble. You slide open the door and pull out two large metal boxes and slide them across the floor. “What about this?”
“The Rolexs?” He frowns, hesitant. Another crack echoes off the walls as the zombie outside tries to get in.
“Well I don’t think throwing the table or lounge chair is gonna do it.”
“Why do I have to throw my precious collections? What about your china?”
“The fine china? My fine china? Why would I-”
Another crack, this time right before the window smashes inward. Sheraton Barbie on the other side is already starting to climb in. Behind her you see another zombie at the edge of the lawn, close to the road but making his way toward the house. The sound of this stupid, dead bitch breaking your window must have gotten his attention.
The fuck nut zombie inside knocks over your kaleidoscope-coloured crystal vases and your fine china tea sets with that stupid, stupid wooden stick and you scream out in frustration. First your garden and now your fine china. Is nothing sacred? Your vision starts to blur on the fringes of your eyesight as a wet rage builds.
“Just do something!”
“I don’t think freaking out about your little tea set is going to help the current situation,” he says, lunging over the sofa and jamming his palm onto the wooden stick to hold back the zombie.
“I am calm,” you growl, giving each word emphasis before grabbing one of his silly little watches and throwing it towards Sheraton Barbie. It hits her straight in between the eyes then bounces, ricocheting off the handle and slingshotting back up against her chest. It lodges itself in one of the widening holes created by the rake.
“What the hell? Did you just throw my Rolex? Did you throw my Rolex? Did you just throw my damn Rolex and now it’s got zombie gunk on it?”
“Well, wasn't it last season anyway?”
“Last season? It doesn’t really work that way and if it did, no ‘season’ is any less important than the last when it comes to a Rolex. They’re timeless.”
“There’s a zombie in the living room, Tao.”
“I am well aware of what is in the house, sweetheart,” he says, accentuating the last word as he nods towards the undead woman.
“Well, what about this one? When did you last wear this?” The silver watch dangles from your index finger as you hold it in front of your eyes while you use your other hand to search for the next sturdy Rolex to throw.
“I wouldn’t dare to wear that one.”
‘Oh, great, then this one?” You throw the watch and this one bounces off her temple. Gnashing teeth turn your way. Tao moans, his staggered breath punctuated by moisture building up around his eyes as he holds steadfast. Good. He deserves it. “It’s not working. They’re too soft, Tao.”
“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.”
“We need to use the Bearbrick Babies. They are good for nothing. Literally useless,” you say, jumping up and running towards the case.
“Fuck that. Hold this,” he says, leading the zombie over and shoving the handle into your hand. Pain trickles throughout your palm from what you are certain will be splinters. “Hold her and stop throwing my stuff.”
“Wait.”
He doesn’t. He runs past you and around the corner before you hear the familiar sound of his footfalls on the wooden steps as he continues on to your bedroom.
Her stench is unbearable; you can smell death on your lips. Turning to look out the window, you notice the other zombie is halfway across the yard. His lifeless eyes lock on the shattered frame.
This is not how you want to die. Where is Tao? As long as you don’t die before he gets here, it should be okay. He won’t let anything happen to you… right?
Right as a tear rolls down your face, the moisture seeping into your dry skin, you hear the thumping sounds of Tao running back down the stairs. He dashes out from behind the corner now wearing jeans and a white sleeveless shirt. Yesterday's outfit that was carelessly thrown across the room last night. There’s something off about him. Searching him over a few times, you notice it. At first you had mistaken the silver glint as an accessory.
“Is that a gun?”
“If it looks like a gun and acts like a gun then I guess it must be a gun.”
“Where did you get that from?”
“Not in the safe, that's for sure,” he says, bitterness on his lips as he raises the weapon towards the zombie that now has you pinned against the wall, her arms flailing out in every direction, desperate for your flesh. “Nope, couldn’t put it there. Not after you randomly changed the code on me.”
“You kept that gun in the house? After I told you to get rid of it?”
He’s upset because you needed a place to keep your documents and all his friends know his combination, which he in turn said wasn’t a big deal. It’s not that you don’t trust his friends, but why should everyone have the code? If everyone can get into the safe, what’s the point of it? And you bought it after all, it’s only right that you be the one that makes the code.
“Yeah, that's right. It's a good thing too,” he says, waving at Sheraton Barbie with a crooked smile.
“A zombie apocalypse is an outlier, Tao!”
The zombie lurches forward, the rake squelching inside her undead skin until it passes completely through to the other side, leaving you face to face with her bared teeth. Screeching, you push against her chest, leaning away from the overwhelming stench of decay leaking from her mouth as the other one starts to paw at the windowsill. This is it. This is where you die. This is how your pathetic life finally comes to an end. What has it all been for?
Fireworks penetrate your thoughts. Two loud pops. Sheraton Barbie falls to the floor with a thud and your eardrums vibrate.
“Gross! What the fuck, Tao!” A tremble rumbles across your skin and you feel pressure like when high altitudes pop your ears. After a few seconds, your hearing resets to its original level of capacity. Your face scrunches up as you pluck pieces of Sheraton Barbie out of your hair. “My eardrums might never recover.”
“Don’t be dramatic.” He puts the gun into the holster and upon noticing your glare he continues. "You’ll be fine. It will settle in a few minutes. It’s only a 45mm.”
“Only.”
“And what would you suggest instead?”
“I don’t know, a knife?”
“And use the good cutlery? I’d never hear the end of it,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. It’s not your fault that whenever he tries to make something in the kitchen something ends up broken. It’s not the cost of replacing the item, it’s the inconvenience.
“That’s it!” You are done. You refuse to be in the same room as this Neanderthal for a moment longer. The way he prances around the house, fists beating against his chest. The way he makes you feel like you can’t do anything right. “I’m going to my mother’s house.”
“In the middle of a zombie apocalypse?!"
“I’d rather die out there than be stuck in here with a plant killer like you.” You grab your envelope clutch from the entryway table, slamming the door on the way out. “I’d rather die out here than live in there with you.”
A pout forms on your chapped lips as you walk down the walkway thinking of all the cutting words you could have said instead, the ways you could have hurt him but didn’t. You restrained yourself yet again for the betterment of the relationship. You always put him first and here he is sending you outside when he knows you left your keys inside and he knows you’re too stubborn to turn around and get them now. How could you when you’ve already gotten this far? Why would he send you out into the cold in the middle of a zombie invasion?
Reaching the footpath in front of the house, you turn in the direction of your mother's house that, as Tao so eloquently put it, is only two streets away. The walk will do you good - the fresh air and the quiet. The deafening silence is just what you need. The empty streets, the absence of children's laughter and blaring horns. The empty red Buick with all four doors open, its front bumper wrapped around the wooden telephone pole while smoke spirals from its engine. It’s all so refreshing. The absence of humanity.
Continuing down the next street, the smell of rot and rust in the air, you turn the corner and run straight into a crowd of the restless undead, their mouths slack and their eyes lifeless. There’s about fifteen of them and they’re blocking the walkway. They haven’t seen you yet, their attention instead on the young couple in front of them. The pair are holding hands up on trash cans that look ready to cave in at any moment.
The issue is how to get over to that side of the street without the horde noticing, because although they seem oblivious to you right now, the couple they currently have their eyes on have taken notice. What a bother.
“Help!” the woman yells out. You point to your ear and shrug, pretending you didn’t hear before trying to creep past them. “Please! We can’t hold them off for much longer!”
And just what the fuck do they expect you to do?
Before you can reply, the man tears his arm from hers and pushes her towards the zombies. Her screams quickly become gurgled gulps of blood as you stare slack-jawed after the prick now shimmying up one of the poles holding the awning above. So much for true love. Must all men be scum?
Turning away, you shake your head and decide to take this moment, the death of another hopeless woman in love, to not let her death be in vain. Right as you step out onto the road, a loud tearing sound echoes out over the groaning of the hoard of zombies.
“No, no, no. No!” It’s the dickless fuck. He’s hanging from the railing. The soft material of the awning now split in two, its nonchalant flapping drawing several of the mob. The ones not eating his girlfriend start to surround him and claw towards him, reaching with hungry sweeps of their arms. He looks to you with pleading eyes and calls out, “Help me. Please!”
You give him a thumbs down and mouth the words, ‘die bitch.’
And he will die. The first zombie that reaches him when his hold on the pole finally weakens digs her teeth into his ankle. It’s his partner. Poetic justice. He squeals and falls to the ground, his high pitched screams soon snuffed out by the crunching of teeth on flesh.
Shuffling as quietly as the tips of your shoes will allow, you dart across the street to the promise of safety and it pays off. They didn’t notice you, instead immersed in the meal already caught. Resisting a triumphant shout of achievement, you continue to walk down the pavement, your eyes glancing back at the group every so often to make sure you haven’t been seen.
Turning back to face the street ahead you’re caught off guard when a lady dressed in classic black skinny jeans, a white tucked in shirt, business black kitten heels and a tan blazer walks out from the boutique and slams right into you. Her face is perfect, eyebrows plucked and lined, not a single lash out of place. If it wasn’t for the small smudge of her red lipstick spread across her slack jaw you might not have noticed anything was wrong.
Fuck. You should have thought of the stores. What an amateur move.
Before you have time to ponder your mistake, hands grab you from behind, a hoarse moan accompanying the stench of wet dirt and old pasta sauce. It’s too much. The thought of it ending this way, sandwiched between this cheap business woman and the man who loves meatballs a little too much, it's depressing and not at all the type of threesome you wanted. You scream. It’s a guttural noise that reverberates from chest to throat in a painful spiral.
It’s a mistake of course. The booming sound echoes out across the street, bringing the unwanted attention of the horde of undead looking for something more exciting to snack on now that the asshole has gone cold. Caught between the two creatures, you kick the woman hard in the chest, causing her to stagger backwards. Ducking from the tall man still leaning over you with his teeth bared, you crouch down while kicking out your leg and slamming it against his knees. He topples over in time for you to turn back to the woman who is now lunging at you on the floor. You roll to the side and let her fall face first into the concrete pavement.
Fuck.
Three more are behind her, exiting the boutique. Tears spring to your eyes out of frustration. Not fear. You refuse to be scared. Scared people act stupid in these situations and get themselves killed. No, you will not be dying here today.
You take a quick look at the three zombies. There’s a queen of hearts sticking out from the breast pocket of one of the old women and when you see it, a glint of metal catches your eye. One of them has a cane. Sorry Grandma but this firecracker refuses to be taken down by an old bridge group.
Spinning on your toes, you dart out of their direct line of contact before kicking the old lady square on the left knee. She buckles and as she goes down you grab the silver cane. Is this considered elderly abuse? You can’t think for long because the other two are coming towards you and the one you took out is already wobbling to her feet.
“Let’s do this, you ugly bastards.”
Holding the cane out in front of you with both hands on the end, you jab at them Three Stooges-style: one in the eyes, one in the gut, one across the ear. In quick succession you jab at them over and over again until your arm aches. Then you dash past them, holding them back by the length of the wood.
“Haha!" Cheerful glee drips from your words as you continue down the street. Looking over your shoulder for the last time, you poke your tongue out and turn down the next street. You ram into another zombie. This one grabs your arm to take a bite. You kick him in the shin and start to beat him over the head with the cane when he folds over in pain. “Just die, you bastard!”
“What the fuck!"
It’s Tao.
“Oh my god! I thought you were one of them!”
“What the fuck!?”
“Oh Tao! Tao!” You squeal, pulling him up to his feet and hugging him. “Thank God you’re here!”
“That hurts like a bitch,” he says, holding you with one arm as he shakes his leg and rubs the top of his head. He’s so strong. You know it doesn’t even hurt him at all. He’s come and saved you. You’re safe!
“Oh, Tao.” Holding him tighter, you let your legs give way underneath you, finally allowing the stress of the day to wash over you. “You came for me. You came to save me. I knew you would. I knew you couldn’t live without me, Tao!”
“Well, I mean, I knew you would get yourself killed out here,” he says, dragging you by one arm into the alleyway right as the limping, caneless grandma from the previous street turns the corner and walks past aimless and hungry, followed closely by her slack-mouthed friends. Tao’s quick thinking saved you again. He’s so brave. He’s so smart. He’s such a man.
“I-” He holds a finger to your lips, stopping you from drawing attention to your hiding spot, and you can’t help but admire his reflexes. Instead of pushing him away like you usually would, you step closer. His base scent of pink pepper, limes and amber wood is provocative and you want the taste of him on your lips.
Grinning up at him, you grab his finger still hovering in front of lips and suck on it, taking it in all the way to the knuckle and making a soft plop sound as you pull back to his fingertip. You kiss each digit, your eyes glued to his. The quirk of his brow is the only response as you kiss up his hand, his arm and his shoulder. A glint of something you haven’t seen in months flickers across his face before he pulls you into his embrace, one arm wrapping around your waist, the other circling your neck.
It’s fire. The look in his eyes. The look he lost. It’s desire in its rawest form. He wants you and you can’t blame him - you’re quite the catch - but after today you can admit that he is too. A hero. The type of man you can depend on no matter the situation.
Biting your lip, you lean into his chest. An animalistic urge to take him where you stand in this dirty back alley, wild and free of worry, builds up inside, right next to the searing heat within your gut. Heat that threatens to spread like wildfire and burn you both down for being so foolish to play with matches in the forest. The type of fire that leaves nothing. Spontaneous and unyielding.
Your thoughts start to muddle as his lips press against yours with the same desperate need that mirrors your own. Your hands grasp with reckless lust, clawing at this shirt, needing skin to skin contact. His chest is tight under your fingertips that mark and claim his body. He belongs to you and to you alone and you wonder why things were even going south lately. He’s fucking sexy. The burning desire and aching love you feel for Tao now might well be the same as the first time you realized he was your one love, your other half.
He places creamy kisses across your neck before biting your bottom lip. He sucks on your tongue as he squeezes your ass. The taste of him is salty and bitter like that of a margarita on a warm summer's night. A small moan exits your lips and his eyes shift to the entryway of the alley before he pulls you closer, your hips flush against his as he lifts you like a doll, defenseless in his arms. Defenseless but safe. His toned arms engulf you as he continues to fuck your mouth with his magic tongue and you can’t help but think of all the things you want him to do with it.
As if the heavens themselves are opening up for you, a light drizzle of rain starts to fall upon you, deepening the romance. The dark cramped alley, Tao covered in blood, and now it's raining; it’s as if you are in a movie. A romantic comedy, Tao and you the stars. The signs out on display, it was fate that you and your soulmate had saved each other from a fate worse than death.
Grinding against him, you nip at his tongue with a muted chuckle, your swollen lips crushing against his. Then his sweet, salty taste starts to change into something less appealing. Something… sour, acidic yet metallic.
“What the hell?” Separating, you both look up, the romantic rain actually rusty, red water coming from the pipe off the gutter above you. It stains your clothes, Tao’s white shirt turning an atrocious shade of pink.
“It suits you,” you say, laughing before slapping a hand over your mouth and looking down the alley. No movement. Yet.
“Yeah, yeah. It’s hilarious,” he whispers with a tilt of irritation on his lips. He grabs your hand, entwining his fingers with yours as he leads you back to the street's entrance. “Let’s go home.”
“Okay.” Although you are closer to your mother's place you don’t argue, knowing he must have one thing in mind for when you return, your hearts and bodies now aligned. He needs you as much as you need him and you’ve proven that today. After all he was your saviour, your knight in shining armour, cutting through the hordes of beasts in the way of his one true love. He’s amazing.
“Jesus Christ,” he says under his breath as he looks down the street. His face is scrunched up in pain as he says, “That guy's dick has been chewed straight off.”
“He really is a dickless fuck.” When Tao quirks his brow, you shake your head. “It’s what he deserved. Believe me.”
Making your way back down the streets that separate you from your home, Tao is ready to jump in front of you whenever danger strikes. Although there are less zombies on the way home, there is a close call with a Chihuahua. Once the crisis is averted, Tao limps down the street in remembrance of his brave act. It takes less time to return. Most of the zombies wandering the streets are in pairs or alone, easy to evade.
As you turn onto your own street, your home in view, you lean into Tao and let him guide you up your driveway with your fingers still entwined with his. Nothing can ruin this moment. Not the broken window or the dead zombie slumped under said window, not even the crushed flowers under Tao’s ridiculously overpriced pussy magnet muscle car. And although yes, a small part of you was hoping that he would carry you inside bridal-style, you don’t let that get to you either, because nothing is perfect and that’s okay. It’s okay because it's almost perfect.
You don’t let the fact that Tao didn’t remove Sheraton Barbie from the living room get to you. It’s not like you’re strong enough to get her out of here, anyway. A delicate flower like you should be taken care of and you know you will be. You know that Tao will get rid of her soon. He was just in too much of a rush to come and find you. If the house looked like he had cleaned up, it would be suspicious. Kind of like the fact that his watches are all put back inside the case inside the glass cabinet. His watches are all safe and packed away. How lovely.
No, you refuse to be brought down in this moment, a moment of pure bliss by anything. Not even by Tao turning on the TV and flipping through the channels.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to see if there’s any news about what’s been happening,” he says with a frown as he stares at the television, each channel providing the same blank static as the next.
“I thought we were gonna, you know,” you mutter, touching the ends of your pointer fingers together. “I mean, that whole rescue thing got me pretty hot.”
“Yeah, it’s hot out there.” He continues to switch through channels as he walks over to the bookcase behind the couch, grabbing the ancient satellite radio.
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“What?”
“We had a moment, Tao! What about our moment? It was romantic!”
“Are you crazy?” He is looking at you now, finally paying attention to you. “Are you talking about that psycho move you pulled in the middle of a fucking zombie apocalypse that ended in us being drowned in rusty pipe water? That romantic moment?”
“Yes, Tao! It was a sign that we are meant to be together. Didn’t you feel it?”
“A sign?” he laughs, shaking his head while fiddling with the radio. “I felt an intense desire to fuck my kinky wife who was obviously going off the rails after dealing with this whole traumatic event and you obviously needed comfort and who was I to deny you that? But a sign? It’s literal Armageddon out there and I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on.”
“It needs batteries and we have none that size in the house.”
“What?”
“The bloody radio, arsehole,” you yell, turning your back to hide your tears. How had he not felt it? It was as if he hadn’t been there with you at all. It was like magic and he was denying everything you felt. “I thought you cared about this marriage. I thought you cared about us.”
“Hey.” He wraps his arms around you, squeezing you tight enough that you can’t breathe for a moment as he lifts you in the air and swings you around. “I do care about this marriage.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“You know, when you left I thought, 'Good riddance, and don’t come back.'” He ignores your huff as he continues, “I did. I thought about how peaceful it would be without you. But then the longer you were gone, the more deafening the silence became. There was a knot forming in my chest and all I could think about was what I was meant to do without you if you didn’t return.”
“Really?”
“Of course, you idiot.” He pushes his pointer finger against your cheekbone before lightly touching his forehead to yours, your breath connected in unison. “I didn’t realize it was that bad out there or I wouldn’t have let you leave at all.”
“As if you could have stopped me,” you say, biting the inside of your lip.
“You think I couldn’t have?”
His eyes sparkle with a mischievous gleam, a smirk spreading across his face as he spins you towards the recliner and pins you underneath him. Leaning close he whispers your name as he brushes his lips against yours. Squeezing your ass, your hips lift up to his as he deepens the kiss, his tongue dancing with yours, singing a song only they know the words to. Your hand digs into his hair and you suck on his tasty lips before he pulls back with a start. He leaps up to his feet and walks towards the door.
“What? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to the store - do you want anything?”
“Are you serious right now? I swear to God,” you say the words behind clenched teeth, your hands balled up into little fists. How can this man be so oblivious? “Also I don’t know if you noticed this but there just so happen to be zombies out there!”
“Yeah? So? I want a Cornetto. I think I work hard enough for this household to give myself a treat.”
“Oh and I don’t, I guess. It’s always I work so hard. I do this. Well I work hard, too! I cook, I clean. I do a lot around here and I am sick of your condescending attitude!”
“Listen. I’m going to get some batteries and a Cornetto and at this point I might not get you anything!”
“Get me some chocolate milk. The expensive one. The cheap ones upset my tummy,” you say with a pout.
“Anything for my princess.” He kisses you on the temple with a sly chuckle before saying, “And when I get back we can fuck since I know you want to so bad.”
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Can I request Class 1A Favorite three problem children and their thicc black s/o and she catches a whole attitude because they wouldn’t buy her anything, so she starts rapping along loud as hell to Cardi B’s new song and they overhear the line “Broke boys don’t deserve no pussy, (I know that’s right)”
hiii! omg you’re like my first request...when you said problem children I’m assuming you’re talking about Katsuki, Kiri, and Denki, but plz let me know if I was incorrect! but anyways I hope you enjoy these headcanons💗.
——————————————————————————-
Up
Katsuki Bakugou x fem! black reader
Eijirou Kirishima x fem! black reader
Denki Kaminari x fem! black reader
Katsuki Bakugou
now baby bakugou SPOILS THE SHIT OUT OF YOU
even if you don’t want him to
“baby you don’t have to get me that.”
“shut the fuck up and take it.”
very aggressive with it too
so you were very much surprised when he wouldn’t get you your favorite ice cream
“baby can I please get some ice cream 🥺.”
“fuck no, what tf do you need ice cream for ?”
“um...to eat.”
“eat air.”
you’re confused af
bc Bakugou always buys you everything you want
EVEN THE SHIT YOU DONT WANT
sooo why he was acting up, you don’t know
all yk is you’re not backing down without a fight
so when y’all go into the car
you quickly connect your Bluetooth
“don’t play any trash ass music Y/N.”
“shut up asshole.”
he’s looking at you like “🤨”
but he knows you’re cranky so he lets it slide
you being the petty queen you are, decides to play “Up” by Cardi B
now it’s not nothing new to him
he’s used to you playing shit like this
but when you look directly at him, your eyes glaring at him intensely
and suddenly open your mouth to scream to lyrics:
“BROKE BOYS DON’T DESERVE NO PUSSY!! I KNOW THATS RIGHT!”
he’s looking around trying to figure out who the fuck you’re talking to
“you talking to me?”
“who else? your broke ass didn’t want to get me my damn ice cream.”
he scoffs, rolling his eyes in annoyance
and turns around to go back to the store
“fine, I’ll fucking get you your shitty ice cream.”
“thank you baby.”
Eijirou Kirishima
this bby will do anything and everything for you
if you want it he’ll get it
“baby, can I get some sour patch kids?
“of course babe!! it would be manly if I didn’t!”
“kiri can I get some Zaxbys?”
“yeah, let’s go now!”
shit you could ask him to buy the whole country and if he could he would
but today he was not having it
he actually convinced you to work out with him
surprisingly
and after that torture you decided that you wanted a reward
“baby, can we get some Popeyes?”
“no babe, we just worked out! that kinda defeats the purpose of working out!”
you’re looking at him like “wtf”
definitely confused as to why your cinnamon roll said no to you
so you put on your best puppy dog eyes
begging him bc you’re hungry af
“baby nooo, come on let’s go get Subway instead.”
yeah no, he absolutely tried it
so you trot your thicc ass to the car
plopping angrily in the seat
snatching out your phone and hurriedly connecting to the Bluetooth
“what song is this babe?”
you don’t answer him, just continuing to hum along to the song
he pouts, knowing that you’re angry at him
finally it gets to the part you were waiting for
“broke boys don’t deserve no pussy! I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!”
kirishima can’t help but feel like that statement was directed towards him
“baby? was that meant for me?”
again you don’t answer
he sighs and turns the car around towards the direction of the Popeyes
“fineeee, but only bc it’s not manly to deny your lady.”
Denki Kaminari
ok so he’s literally broke
like deadass broke
like no money no where broke
like AT ALL
ok now that I got my point across
he’s the one who begs YOU to buy him shit
“hey Y/N can you get me some sour candy??”
“you don’t have a dollar ?”
“well! no need to be snobby about it.”
yeah it’s actually annoying af
but you buy him shit anyways bc you love him
n e ways
so it’s your birthday and you’re scrolling online for some clothes on fashion nova
and denki has been bragging recently about his new sum of income
“yeah my grandma gave me like $200 dollars babe!”
“wow you finally have money, pop off ig.”
“HEY!! BE HAPPY FOR ME!”
so you decided that it was time your baby compensated you for all of your hard work
“hey babe, you remember all those times I bought you shit?”
“uh yeah, why?”
“annndddd do you remember that it’s my birthday today?”
“yeah! happy birthday babe!”
“yeah yeah thanks, anyways I would like to be paid for my services.”
this asshole is gonna look at you like you’re crazy
then he’s gonna have the AUDACITY to laugh at you
“tf is so funny?”
“no way babe! I love you and all, but I was actually planning to buy this new game and play it with Sero! sorry!”
yeah no
that’s not gonna cut it
so the next couple of days you ignore his scrawny ass
watching him squirm as you do
then for the cherry on top, when he’s asleep you decide to get his ass back for his tomfoolery
you grab a speaker and your phone
walking to his room with both items
you then place the speaker outside of his door
and start blasting Cardi B
“BROKE BOYS DONT DESERVE NO PUSSY!! I KNOW THATS RIGHT!”
he slams his door open, his hair ruffled and eyes widened
he looks at your angry expression and grumbles, pulling you into his room
“I guess I can buy that special edition video game some other time.”
“that’s what tf I thought.”
taglist: @mypimpademia @myhoodacademia @blackweebtrash @sisifromthed @notfiveweenieskids @her-majesty-kiara @moxie-elle @angiebug101 @lilsparkyswife
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hair(care)
remember this post? yes i wrote the fic. with some angst and backstory as a treat! family bonding time and people learning to love. the ao3 summary is "Yohan first learns affection through money, then oil." which i think is really really funny.
word count: 1696
read on ao3
apologies for any errors, and enjoy!
-
The first time Yohan tries, it is before everything. He’s allowed to err here and there, require an entire braid to be unwound and redone. He’s allowed to experiment with the clips and the ribbons and decide when the act is complete and present his art to his niece and his family. Elijah is rightfully fawned over, cheeks bright and smiles brighter, holding onto her uncle and hiding her face in his shoulder with glee.
That was, of course, before everything.
-
If Yohan has touched a hair on Elijah’s head since, it is only to make a promise or only in her sleep.
The doctors will take care of you, don’t worry. Samcheon is here. I won’t let them hurt you any more than you already have been.
Midnight, in that agonising few months of hospital rooms and the claustrophobic rehabilitation centre. When Elijah is able to perceive nothing but her breath, Yohan, hands reverent; soothing his own fears through comforting his niece. Things will be okay. We’ll be fine. A few grounding breaths are never enough, not after he learns what those monsters took from his niece.
And when Elijah cries. When she first asks after her mother and father, why they aren’t by her side, why is it just samcheon everyday? When Yohan’s tears ring before hers, for the first and last time. I’m sorry, so is declared. I’ll fix this, so is promised. He holds her as close as he can permit himself to, and vows to burn down this world if she asks him to.
-
Elijah, once, four years since, on her tenth birthday, asks him, “Can you help me?”
Yohan will pretend like he hasn’t been starved of hearing those words. He follows her to her room, honoured of her trip halfway across the house.
“The girls at school,” Elijah fumbles about, wringing her hands together, “that… they wear their…”
He stands in her doorway, somewhat uninvited, waits for her to finish.
“They wear their hair, kind of… like this,” Elijah mimics some variation of a hairstyle best she can, two locks of her hair held in her hands, the parting off. “I was just…”
Yohan, unfortunately, understands little. “Do you need a haircut?”
Elijah’s hands fall, as does the thin hope upon her features. “It’s nothing,” she dismisses. “I only called you because ahjumma wasn’t in today. It’s fine.”
Yohan blinks. “I can help if —”
“It’s fine,” Elijah hisses. “I was mistaken.”
-
If there is any chance of that ever happening again, time will have to be reversed. Elijah turns twelve, and things change, and Yohan notes his laptop has been hacked.
He buys her a cake for her thirteenth birthday that finds itself smashed against a wall and a demand for no such recurrence.
Yohan will never disobey her. Not with things that she can control.
So he buys no cakes, but buys her a building and channels the affection he allows himself to feel once a month in an allowance that shocks Ms Ji despite the lifetime she’s spent in this family.
Once, there is a package of hair care products with their usual shipment of essentials, which Ms Ji makes a show of putting in Yohan’s way. When he relents, it only takes a tilt of head to the east of the house for her to get the hint. He never knows if Elijah uses them, but the list goes on to include some products out of the large batch he’d purchased, and Yohan considers buying another building.
-
On her sixteenth birthday, Yohan asks, “Do you want to have a birthday party?”
Elijah asks, “Who will we call?”
Yohan nods, for that is an apt answer.
-
When Kim Gaon comes, Elijah hates him more than usual. That, Yohan had expected. What he hadn’t was that this hatred would melt away faster than ice when met with fire.
The frist time Elijah sports a more delicate hairstyle than the usual ponytail, Yohan thinks it’s a trick of the light. But she turns her head when retrieving cereal, and her hair is still parted that way and a short braid runs from behind her ear into the clipped-back hair at the back of her head, and Yohan pauses to stare.
Instead of their noncommittal acknowledgement of each other each morning, he asks, “When did you…” and gestures to the back of his head.
Elijah shrugs, looking over at him impassively for a moment before pursuing her breakfast once again. Kim Gaon slides into view, grin perpetually etched into his face, asks, “Elijah, did it stay?”
To which Elijah smiles back, and now Yohan’s eyebrows remain shot up.
Kim Gaon continues to talk, “It’s experimental. We’ll try a different style tomorrow. Your hair’s long enough to make an intricate bun.”
Yohan ensures Elijah watches him conspicuously eye the both of them.
“Kim pansa,” he says, breaking the moment. “We need to go to work.”
-
The next day, and the day after that, Elijah wears her hair in different styles. Once it is a high bun with some small braids, once it is a different parting and a new set of clips. Yohan observes critically over breakfast as Elijah holds her head a certain way to ensure it doesn’t fall into her food, and thinks, how impractical.
She catches him looking, so she hoists a sour look, to which Yohan responds with an exaggerated tilt of his head, aiming to mimic her.
“Don’t make fun of her,” Kim Gaon’s imposing voice interrupts. “Elijah looks fantastic today.”
Elijah beams. Yohan is disarmed of a biting reply for he hasn’t seem her teeth take on anything but a stubborn baring of power in front of him. He spends the rest of the day replaying it.
-
When things so south and north again, when Elijah acknowledges, begrudgingly, that her uncle did not have it out for her father, Kim Gaon mediates harmoniously.
He spends an evening making them both chase the cat around the house.
It’s an inane idea, even Elijah hates it, but he tells them the reason Kkomi starts throwing things off their desks at four in the morning is because she’s understimulated, and that even a cat needs to exercise.
So it’s Elijah’s job to get her rilled up enough to run — in a cat’s terribly comic way — away from them, and Yohan’s to ensure she keeps running around.
He’s insane, is what Kim Gaon is. Elijah’s more than sure this borders on some ethical offense. Yohan sure seems to find some pleasure in making the cat scared for her life.
Gaon congratulates them both with a mid-evening coffee and snack break. Elijah actually, voluntarily, asks for Yohan to pass the plate of biscuits across, and thanks him — thanks him! — when he does.
Before they all retire to bed, after another shared meal, Elijah calls for him from down the hall.
“Yohan!”
He turns, maintaining what he thinks is a smile.
“Can you try and get some coconut oil?”
“What for?”
Elijah scrutinises him, gauging how he doesn’t understand something so obvious. “For my hair.”
Yohan nods, still not on the same page, but very much wanting to be. “I’ll get it,” he assures.
He doesn’t blink twice at the astronomical shipping price.
-
It’s a tall bottle, imported and primly packaged, that greets Elijah when she returns home from her weekly ice-cream run with Gaon.
She eyes it, suspicious, before their resident busybody stands in her doorway and says, “Oh, bujang-nim actually bought it for you.”
Elijah blinks at Gaon innocently. Yohan does listen to her sometimes.
“Material wealth,” Gaon seems to understand. “We’ll put it in your hair tomorrow, okay? Keep it in for a few hours.”
“A few hours?” Yohan voices, having just turned the corner, dressed as he usually is at home.
“What are you doing here,” Elijah mutters, shooting a scowl at Yohan as he stands in her doorway as well.
He scowls back, never one to back down from a challenge, as Gaon goes on about the benefits of oiling hair behind them.
-
“Don’t pull,” Elijah hisses.
“I’m not,” Yohan insists, but puts less force into his actions nonetheless.
Gaon and Ms Ji are monitoring them, mirroring each other with their arms crossed and leaning against opposite sides of the doorway.
Yohan sections Elijah’s hair into three parts after brushing through it, the fine-toothed comb surprisingly sparse of broken hair.
“Gaon has been helping me take care of it,” Elijah had explained, when he errantly asked. “What, did you think I’m some sort of wild animal?”
Yohan carefully collects some oil in his palms, completely foreign to this, eyes flickering up to Gaon for guidance. Gaon is absolutely no help.
So he trusts his instincts and starts at Elijah’s scalp, rubbing oil in, and ends with oil down his forearms and Elijah’s hair in a thick braid. She’s fast asleep.
“That means you did a good job,” Gaon whispers to him.
Yohan would smile, but such affection hardly suits his face. He pats Gaon’s face with an oily hand, leaves him spluttering, and grins to himself as he tries to wash the oil off.
-
It barely becomes a routine, because despite Gaon’s somewhat vast knowledge on hair care and what Elijah read online, washing oil out of your hair can be a nightmare. But Ms Ji and Gaon have observed their two sulking overlords interacting with an increasing frequency, even if it is sometimes just to disagree about an arrangement of clips or parting of hair.
Gaon had supposed, somewhat, that his bujang-nim had at least an understanding of style. In his discussions with his niece, though, when somehow colour schemes and draping becomes relevant, Gaon admits he’d underestimated Kang Yohan.
Later Elijah will decide she wants to dress for dinner as well, and Yohan will be the only one diligently obeying the formality. So much so that he will leave a guest in the company of the villainous home to attend to his niece’s requests. No one will ask about the pink bow in her hair, but it’s more than enough for Yohan to know that he tied it up.
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Our brother, our keeper.
also found here.
Tommy plays the protector role sometimes, too.
Modern au/SBI is a family.
-----------------------
Wilbur
He supposes he’s felt worse than this before. Though in this moment, he feels utterly lousy. With an aching migraine and no medicine to counter it, he’s stuck on the couch, with the lights off. He can’t do much more than remain slumped against it, pressing his fingers to his forehead as he attempts to give himself a massage. It’s not helping much.
He cracks an eye open and rolls his head to the side when he hears footsteps on the floor outside the room. Eye sliding closed again, he turns his head away, feeling a nausea build up far too rapidly for him to be comfortable.
“I have a headache, Tommy. Please don’t bother me right now.”
“Okay.” Tommy’s voice is quieter than normal, and Wilbur is grateful when there’s no more conversation after that. He doesn’t want to open his eyes again to check for Tommy’s continued presence, so he hopes the child has gone somewhere else, preferably his own room.
Wilbur lets himself sink into a pain filled stupor. He doesn’t know if he’s fallen asleep or if he’s just numb to everything, but when he comes back to reality, his head aches just as much as before. Except, this time, he’s not alone. He can feel Tommy’s hands on his face, clearly trying to feel for a fever. Weakly, he swats Tommy’s hands away, feeling his stomach churn.
“Tommy, what did I say?” He snaps through clenched teeth. “I’m-”
“Sorry, Dad asked me to check on you. I went to the shop and bought you some pain relief, I thought you might want it.”
That catches Wilbur’s attention. He would have expected Phil or Techno to go, not Tommy. He stops trying to fight the child as he forces his eyes open, blurred vision barely focused on his youngest brother. Tommy’s blue eyes are the only things he can clearly see, and they’re filled with a soft concern that Tommy doesn’t show very much. Wilbur lets out a soft sigh as he decides to let Tommy work. It’s not like Tommy’s actually doing anything to hurt him. In fact, Tommy’s actually helping.
Wilbur can’t help but lean into the gentle touches that Tommy is offering. From gently fingers curling in his hair, to the thermometer entering his mouth, followed by a couple of pills being handed over to him with a glass of cool water. Wilbur obeys every silent action without complaint. It’s relaxing, and it’s all working to ease the nausea and head-splitting agony that had threatened to overwhelm him just moments before.
He barely notices when Tommy throws a blanket over him, before tucking a pillow under his head. He hums quietly as he allows himself to finally relax, drifting off to sleep.
“Feel better, Wilby,” Tommy whispers gently. “Sleep well.”
He does.
**********
Techno
He hates having a flat tire. He hates having a flat tire only a block away from home. Techno smacks the hood of his car out of frustration, too riled up to remember how to actually change the tire. He’s fighting back an anxiety attack, knowing this can all easily be dealt with, he just needs to call Phil.
It takes Techno far too long to work up the courage; this is humiliating. He’s not that far from home, he could easily walk. He could easily change the tire himself, but then he’d have to admit that he must’ve run over something that flattened everything. It’s too big of a deal in his head, and it shouldn’t be.
He dials Phil’s number.
It’s not Phil who answers.
“Tommy, where’s Phil?”
“He’s streaming right now. How can I help?”
“Nevermind, I’ll call back later.” He hovers his finger over the ‘end call’ button.
“Techno wait.” Tommy’s voice is low, soothing. Techno doesn’t hear this from Tommy very much, but he’s latching onto it anyway. “Techno, are you in trouble? Is it something I can help with?”
He opens his mouth to say no. His pride wants him to say no. Even more embarrassing than being in this situation in the first place is the thought of his sixteen year old brother riding his bike out to help him. He swallows his pride and nods, before remembering Tommy can’t see him. “Can you meet me? I’m a block away, don’t tell Phil.”
Tommy’s there within two minutes. The way he’s panting indicates he must’ve jogged the whole way, but Techno doesn’t comment. “Tommy, I’m having a panic attack and my tire-” He waves helplessly at his car, while Tommy’s gaze follows where he’s gesturing to.
“Oh, I get it. Don’t worry.” Tommy offers one of his bright smiles before moving closer to the car. Techno stands there, watching as his tall, lanky brother, maneuvers around the car with ease. Using the tools provided in the trunk to change the tire. He’s never seen Tommy work like this before. He had no idea Tommy could even change a tire! But it’s not long before Tommy’s done, and he’s putting the tools away.
“I didn’t...Tommy you-” Techno has no idea how to express his gratitude. This had been way less embarrassing than he expected.
“It’s okay Big Man,” Tommy says reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it. Stream with me later, yeah?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Techno nods, breathing out slowly. “Hop in, I’ll take you home.” He moves back behind the wheel and beams at his youngest brother. Who’d have thought Tommy would help him?
He’s glad it was Tommy.
**********
Philza
There are too many bills to sort through. Phil’s glad for the money he makes on twitch, he has plenty to cushion himself, but sometimes paying all the bills takes a large dent in his savings, and having to build it all back up for the next month takes a toll.
Most of the bills he has, he can pay online. Sometimes, he gets them in paper form, mostly as receipts instead of collection notices. Phil’s tempted to throw the pile of mail in the garbage and spend his money on the most expensive restaurant instead.
He’s already stressed as is. Not for any particular reason, but having to put on a show for several hours a few times a week does take its toll. He misses the time when he could just be himself, and not have to manage not only his stream chat but several other streamers’ chats as well. Being a mod for so many people isn’t easy work, and yet people keep asking for him.
He throws the mail on the counter as he sorts through it, putting some envelopes in the ‘already paid’ pile, and some in the ‘need to pay’ pile. That leaves one envelope that has him blinking. With a confused sensation swirling in his gut, Phil opens the envelope and pulls out the paper inside.
It’s the energy bill, and one that Phil had been most worried about paying. The energy had spiked the past couple of months, due to all four of them being streamers and needing to stream at the same time. It’d sucked up a lot of power, resulting in the bills being a higher price than normal.
This month, apparently, the bill’s already been paid.
Phil doesn’t remember paying it.
He turns to head up to Wilbur’s room, ready to question him about the bill. If it isn’t Wilbur, he’ll question Techno next.
“Hey Dad!”
Tommy pokes his head out of his room, still wearing his headphones. “I should let you know, the other two went out for ice cream. We’re going to stream in a bit, do you want-”
“Do you know anything about this, Tommy?” Phil asks. “Did one of them pay this?”
“Oh, that was me.”
“Tommy!”
“Sorry. I just wanted to help out. I remember how upset you were last month and I wanted to surprise you.”
“You’re sixteen, child. You shouldn’t be paying my bills.” Phil relaxes though, wondering if he should pay Tommy back. The teenager should not have to worry about finances yet, it’s not right.
“Don’t worry about it Dad, it was a one time thing to help out. Use the spare cash to buy yourself something fun, yeah?”
“Thanks, Tommy.” Phil returns the bright smile, even as Tommy shuts himself away in his room again. A few moments later, he can hear loud, boisterous laughter as Tommy gets on discord with his friends.
He heads back downstairs to add this to the ‘already paid’ pile. He’ll definitely have to treat his youngest son later.
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Flower | 22
; Hoseok x Reader
; Genre: Fluff, smut
; Word Count: 6.4k
; Warnings: Brief mention of antidepressant side effects, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, sex toy use, insinuated sex
; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?
; A/N: I’ve half proofread this but I hate reading through smut again so...I hope you enjoy it all :) please reblog if you did and leave me feedback in the form of comments, reviews or other asks! I’m always happy to read your thoughts on the Flower couple and their evolving relationship <3
; Flower Masterpost
-
“Okay so...I know it probably doesn’t look like I’ve got you all that much,” You give him a disbelieving stare before eyeing the small pile of books and games he’d already gifted you. “But I got you one more. And I had to hide this because it’s very heavy and I didn’t want you accidentally kicking it and opening it up or anything.”
Watching as he stands up, his cheerfully festive Christmas Simpsons sweats looking very out of place on his tattooed body, he darts off to your bedroom. Frowning, you lean back to try and see what he’s doing, wondering how’d he’d managed to hide something from you in your own room.
He was completely lying because he’d gotten you everything you wanted and more. The new Final Fantasy game, the new Villainous expansion, some of the books you’d been wanting for a while and a few Eeveelution plushies to finish off your set. So what on earth would he have gotten?
It’s even more confusing when he comes back and you see the size of the box in his hands, elegantly wrapped in silver wrapping paper. There’s a pretty fabric bow on top with a tag on it and your brow rises when you see how hard he’s struggling with it.
That brow goes even higher when he sits down with a grunt, the box dropping onto the floor with a heavy thunk. Eyes widening, you stare at it before looking at him in amusement.
“Holy shit Hoseok, what did you do? Kill someone?” He gives you a smirk before cuddling up to you on the floor, gesturing to the wrapped gift with more than a little excitement. You welcome his warmth and idly poke his thigh as you eye the present.
“Nope. You’ll love it though, I promise.” Giving him a suspicious look, you look at the tag first and read it. Much to his amusement. Apparently he wasn’t one of those people who particularly cared about reading the tags, which had horrified you when you found out. Not that you’d written him any sweet notes or anything, but still.
Unsurprisingly, the tag doesn’t have some love filled sonnet on it, just your name and ‘love, Hoseok’. But he’d obviously shown his love through the careful presents he’d bought you, each one something that you loved and adored.
Smiling, you carefully began to peel away the wrapping paper where it has been folded, tugging at the tape until it came away gently. You feel Hoseok’s laugh vibrate through his body before actually hearing it, causing you to look at him in confusion.
“God, you open presents so neatly. It’s like watching my sister all over again,” His smile stays warm, growing even more affectionate. “She used to open presents like you do, as if afraid that you’ll ruin the wrapping paper or something. I don’t have the patience.”
“Gee...I hadn’t noticed.” Turning your head to stare firmly at the bag of torn wrapping paper next to you both, the remnants of what had remained of what you’d painstakingly wrapped.
He snorts before poking your side and nodding with his head towards the present that you’d only begun opening. “Okay Miss Sarcastic, please proceed with the present opening before you cut yourself on your wit instead of the paper.”
You do as asked, or instructed rather, and carefully peel back the paper. As soon as you have a glimpse of the box cover though, all care is gone as you gasp loudly and quickly tear the rest off. Staring down at the colourful box, you take in the words ‘Gloomhaven’ along the top before squealing with excitement and bouncing in place.
“Oh my god! Hoseok! Oh my god! What the fuck? This game is so expensive!” You’re beyond happy to get it though, as if your reaction wasn’t obvious and the amusement in Hoseok’s face is more than apparent. But you still feel a little guilty at the fact he’s bought you this alongside everything else so far. The two of you haven’t even been dating a year and you’re already feeling spoilt.
He wraps his arms around your waist before kissing your cheek sweetly, watching as you pull the rest of the paper from beneath the box and toss it to the side. It’s only when you go to lift the box that you let out a deep groan of surprise and effort, turning to look at him with wide eyes.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah, holy shit. This thing was 10 fucking kilograms. I feel like I almost died bringing it here. And that’s with the freaking elevator. Open it up, I wanna see what’s in this damn thing.” Laughing, you let him turn the box upside down and use the scissors that had been brought over earlier to slice through the clear stickers that were keeping the lid attached.
Kasumi was currently playing with a ball of scrunched wrapping paper that Hoseok had thrown to her earlier. She had, obviously, been thoroughly enthralled with it and completely ignored the toys she’d been bought by Hoseok and you for her Christmas presents. He’d been thoroughly amused by that but you’d just shrugged and said this was what cats did.
Between the two of you, you manage to get the lid off the box that feels like it’s been vacuum packed in and sit back to admire the interior contents. Carefully, you lift the map board out and open it up, scanning over the intricate map with interest while Hoseok lets out a low whistle.
“Fuck, there’s a lot of shit in this box.” He pulls out a wirebound book along with a rule book, placing them on his lap before flicking through them with interest. Holding up the wire book, he looks at you with wide eyes. “Dude, this is the scenario book...it has 96 scenarios in it.”
Grinning at him, you peer over his shoulder and take them in before carefully taking the book from his hands and placing it on top of the now folded map.
“Yep. It may be expensive but you get your money’s worth at least, right? And you can’t look at it, it’ll spoil the game for you. It’s like an RPG game for a PC or console. You’re only supposed to find out what’s happening as you’re playing, so don’t go spoiling it. And apparently we can only only look at a certain number of characters and stuff. We unlock those through the scenarios.” Reaching in, you pull out one tiny box with what reminds you of a singularity on the top, opening it carefully and pulling out the tiny figure inside.
“This is one of the starter ones, a spellweaver. I want to be this one.” Hoseok takes it from you and looks over it equally as carefully before shrugging, his expression giving away that he was no idea what you’re on about. Giggling, you kiss his cheek and place it back into the box.
“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” He glares at you as you begin to place everything carefully inside. It impresses you how well everything fits in, and you already feel some dread at the prospect of trying to fit everything inside after a few scenarios.
“I’ll have you know that I played and loved all the Dark Souls games.” Biting your lip, you try to contain your amusement as you slide the lid back on and simply admire the game with reverence.
“Oh yeah? Is that because it’s all gothic and hardcore. Did you git gud?” Your teasing of him instantly gets a repercussion as he begins to tickle you furiously, your laughs loud in the apartment and causing Kasumi to pause with her own wide eyes.
“Yeah, yeah I did git gud. Actually, I got so gud that I finished all of them multiple times. What was it you told me once? That you don’t like those games because they’re too hard for you? So...who’s the one who needs to git gud now?” He says, pausing his fingers from his relentless assault and giving you a smug look. Breathing heavily, you let out a quiet laugh before tracing along one of the tattoos on his arms.
“Me, apparently.” Pausing, you take him in before smiling with happiness, your stomach bubbling with joy. “Thank you. For buying me that, it’s really expensive and I can’t believe you bought me it! I’ve been contemplating it for ages.”
“I know. I’ve seen you look at it online often enough. Got me a little stressed when you almost bought it the other week. But I like playing games with you, I’ve decided. So...I got this one so that we can play it together. It can be our game.” Sitting back up, he reaches out and pulls you up with him as you stare at him with wide eyes.
Logically, you’d known that he’d probably have to play it with you as there was no way that Chungha or Soyeon would be interested in something as in depth and long lasting as Gloomhaven. But hearing him say that he’s spent well over $100 on a board game just to play it with you was something else entirely.
It makes your stomach go funny, just like he always made it, and you feel the fluttering of almost anxiety in your throat, making it a tiny bit harder to breathe. Not because you were upset or anything, but you just didn’t really know how to process the love you’d been blessed with from one Jung Hoseok. It was hard for your head to really comprehend that he genuinely meant every word he said.
“Are you sure? It’s supposed to be intense. And long.” Hoseok smirks at you, moving closer until you’re almost nose to nose. His warm breath, smelling faintly of the mint ice cream he’d eaten for dessert at his parents after Christmas dinner, fanning your face. You should be disgusted, but you’re not.
“I know something that can be intense and long tonight. And I wouldn’t have bought it otherwise.” Rolling your eyes at his obvious innuendo, you try hard to stop the smile that wants to break free at hearing him obviously trying to initiate sex. The two of you had agreed to spend the mornings at your respective parents' houses before meeting up here, opening the presents you’d bought each other and spending Christmas evening together for the first time.
Looking over his elegant features, you can’t help but smile as happiness fills you at the sight of him. He’s not paying attention to you anymore, instead having reached over to take one of the books you’d gifted him earlier.
Hoseok had begun to read biography and memoir style books lately, enjoying a wide array of topics. As such, you’d gotten him the entire back catalogue of Mick Wall biographies, which meant he had a whole stack of metal and rock n roll band biographies to go through.
At the moment, he was scanning over the back of the Metallica book with his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration. The other pile included Lemmy, Guns n Roses and more. You’d be lying if you said that you knew half of the bands or whatever that were in the books but you knew that he’d love them all anyway.
And he had, his face lighting up with excitement when he’d unwrapped each one. It had been a worry that he’d find them boring or something, but instead you’d been given many kisses of thanks. Which had been rather delightful, you would admit.
You’d found it particularly stressful buying him presents for Christmas; panicking that he wouldn’t like whatever you bought or having anxiety that he would already have it. He’d given you a few hints to make it easier for you but you’d struggled over it still. As much as you loved him, and as much time as you spent with him, it was hard to figure out what he’d like.
Hoseok loved his music, but he already had everything he wanted in regards to that. There were no concerts coming up that he didn’t already have tickets to, he bought whatever books he wanted to read and he bought whatever films he wanted. Given he spent so much time at yours, you couldn’t even consider something bigger as he wouldn’t get any use out of it as he spent so much time with you and there wasn’t space in your apartment.
Why was buying presents for men always so much harder? And on top of that, you’d had to dissuade him from buying anything that you’d already bought him. Because he was like a cat whose eyes went wide when he saw something he wanted. That had been the case with the James Bond Blu-Ray collection you’d gotten him as well.
It was limited edition, and he’d spotted it online a week after you’d bought it. It had taken some careful persuasion to make sure he didn’t buy it, along with a lot of internal eye rolling.
“Did you like everything?” You don’t realise that there’s a touch of insecurity in your voice, a hint of uncertainty that you hadn’t done it right. This was the first time you’d ever had a boyfriend over the Christmas period, so you weren’t sure if you’d done it right.
Looking up at you with wide eyes, he makes a small noise of question before looking back at his pile of gifts. It now looks smaller than yours and you get warm with embarrassment but he gives you such a bright smile.
“Yes, thank you! Got everything I wanted and stuff I didn’t know I wanted until now.” He leans back against the couch, giving you another smile before reaching out to you and pulling you into him. Besides the books and the Bond collection, the only other thing he’d gotten was a bottle of his cologne, which wasn’t cheap.
So his pile might not look like much, but it was actually a big chunk of money. It made you feel a little ashamed that your gifts were obviously more expensive, but you reasoned it away to yourself. Hoseok earnt more than you, a lot more than you. You had worked within your means for him while also buying for your friends and family.
“Are you happy with what you’ve got?” Hoseok asks, tilting his head to look at you with expectant brows. You give him a sweet smile of your own before nodding and hugging him even tighter.
There’s a moment of pause before you move your head to kiss him, lips gentle against his for a few seconds. He doesn’t hesitate any further though, moving his hand to cup your cheek and you relax into the kiss, almost sighing into his mouth contentedly.
You’d shyly admitted to him the other week that you really liked kissing him. He’d thought it was amusing that you’d told him that so sweetly, but you’d been particularly awkward about it because you’d never had makeout sessions as a teenager. And it hadn’t been fantastic in college, but you got the urge to just kiss Hoseok for hours on end like an excitable teenager.
It was pretty easy to guess that Hoseok found it endearing, and you’d found he’d been indulging you more often with kisses and just taking the time to let you feel like a loved up teenager once more. You were positive it was no great hardship on his behalf, but you were surprised that he controlled himself well enough that it rarely resulted in sex.
He was indulging you right now and you hummed contentedly, enjoying the casual and lazy way he was kissing you. The smell of the Christmas cookie candle you’d started earlier and the gentle twinkling of the lights on the tree you’d decorated with Hoseok at the start of December make it all feel more...homey. Which you don’t want to think about too much right now; you’re too concerned with enjoying your Christmas kisses to care too much.
Finally though, he pulls away slowly and the tiny whine you let out has him laughing against you. “Calm down, you can have plenty more later.”
Shifting away from him slightly, you push out your lower lip in a pout before giving him big puppy eyes. A year ago, the very idea of acting like this around him, or anyone, would have been beyond humiliating. But you felt comfortable with him, and you felt that this was fast becoming part of the language of your relationship with Hoseok.
He did the same to you when he wanted something. And it worked just as well on you as it did on him.
Hoseok smiles, giving you another quick kiss before gently rubbing his nose against yours. The look in his eyes is no longer sweet and soft, but instead a little more intense. Irises darkening ever so slightly while his pupils widen and you narrow your own at him, recognising that look now.
“Someone’s horny.” You mutter, causing him to smirk. He disentangles himself from you and stands, gesturing to you to stay there before disappearing off into the bedroom. Frowning, you try to see around the couch to get an idea of what he’s getting but when he comes back, whatever it is is hidden firmly behind his back.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, we bought this and never got round to using it. So...I figure that we can see if it’s worth the money. A little...Christmas orgasm? Ever had one of those?” He smirks at you, brows wiggling as he shows you the glass dildo and bottle of lube.
Almost instantly, you go all hot with embarrassment at the sight of him just waving that around so casually. He’d been disappointed a few weeks back to discover you had no sex toys, apparently they were fun for couples too, and so he’d sat with you and ordered some. You say he ordered some, but it seemed most of them were for you.
Which had confused you as to why he was so determined to use them all on you instead of getting something for himself. But he’d just waved off your questions, telling you that he got pleasure out of seeing you pleasured and there was plenty of time to explore stuff for him in the future.
You also got the idea that he still wasn’t entirely happy with the fact that the successful orgasm ratio was leaning very heavily in his favour. He’d given you plenty through oral and with his fingers, eventually figuring out what made you tick while having sex until he could successfully bring you to the brink if you were in the mood.
And then you’d started the antidepressants, and your sexual libido had plummeted. Not only had you shown no interest in intiating sex, though you were fine if he wanted it, it had become almost impossible to orgasm. Even by yourself you’d struggled, unable to fall over that precipice into the pit of pleasure to the point that you’d cried in frustration over it.
As such, he hadn’t pushed the issue too hard because he knew it was a sore point, but you’d slowly discovered that it was possible to orgasm still. It just required...a lot of work. When you’d shyly discussed this with Hoseok, he’d taken it almost as a challenge. Hence the sex toys.
The dildo he’d set on the table was made of clear glass, a pretty centre of pink and blue that swirled around each other and a flared base that allowed it to stand on its own. You eyed it carefully as he sat next to you, a smirk on his face. It was one that you hadn’t used yet and you found yourself squirming with the knowledge he was going to use that on you.
A thin shaft met a bulbous head, the tip reminding you of a closed flower bud. Reaching out, you ran your fingers down the glass slowly, noting how smooth and firm it felt. Along with being a lot cooler than you’d anticipated.
“You up for it? I figure...I can try this on you, see if I can get you to orgasm.” Lips twisting, you take the bottle of lube from him and place it on the table as well, carefully pushing the gifts away to make space. You were positive he’d noticed this too, but you didn’t want to vocalise it.
“What about you?” Hoseok snorted in amusement, giving you a quick kiss before running his hands down your waist.
“Okay, first of all. I love doing things with you sexually. So if that’s all that happened then I’ll just get acquainted with my hand in the shower later. Otherwise...well...it is Christmas so...” Shifting, you bite your lip before looking down at your hands and then reaching for his.
“I think we can work something out.” Despite how bold the words are, they sound a lot shyer with your soft tone. Especially the way you avoid his eyes and he just laughs, kissing your temple affectionately before playfully tugging at your leggings.
You resist for just a moment before relenting, shifting awkwardly and laughing as you both struggle to peel the tight fabric from your legs. There’s a particular moment where Hoseok accidentally bumps his forehead against yours when he leans forward, trying to tug them from underneath the rounds of your ass.
“Ow.” He mumbles and you coo to him, trying not to laugh as you gently rub at his forehead. Hoseok finally pulls them off you, taking your socks with him before moving groaning at the fact he hadn’t managed to get your underwear off too.
Now you can’t help but laugh at the way his lips automatically pout, leaning forward to peck at them before wiggling your underwear off yourself. Almost instantly he’s distracted, eyes focused between your legs and you bite your lip in amusement at how easy it is to get his attention when it involves sex or you naked.
You’d never thought you’d be someone who drew that kind of distraction in men and it makes you feel simultaneously powerful and shy. But you don’t get a chance to think any further about it when Hoseok lightly tugs on your shirt, raising his brows in silent question. The two of you have been having sex for months now, but he’s still respectful about your lingering insecurities.
Nodding, he pulls off your shirt in one quick movement before kissing you deeply once your head is free, causing you to hum in delight as his hand roams your naked skin. You no longer feel fear or panic at the touch of him against your waist and stomach. Instead, it feels reassuring.
A gasp leaves you when his hands move to cup your breasts, Hoseok smiling into the kiss as he runs his thumb along your soft skin before playing with your nipples. You’d gotten changed as soon as you’d come home from your parents and Hoseok had long gotten used to you going braless. Much to his appreciation.
But he doesn’t waste too long, leaving your lips to kiss down your jaw and suck rosettes of desire into your neck and chest. He deviates from what you presume to be his route momentarily to lavish attention onto your nipples, playing with them for a moment with his tongue and ever so gently his teeth and being careful to give both equal attention.
While he loved your chest, he wasn’t a boob man. No, he was firmly an ass man, which was evident by the way his hands had slipped down your body and were now squeezing and massaging the rounds of your ass in an almost reverent way. It amused you and you lip at your lips, tasting him once more and whining at him.
As much as you enjoyed the foreplay he was willing to give, you preferred it when he spent his time down below. Given your feelings towards your body, you weren’t particularly a fan of foreplay involving the area he was currently enjoying. And he knows this, which is why he presses a kiss to the centre of your chest before shifting backwards.
“Okay, are you okay to lay back? The rug should be okay and I’m gonna put one of these cushions under you.” He grabs the nearest cushion and you almost make a scandalised noise as you realise it’s your Pusheen unicorn cushion, but you don’t get chance to say anything as he’s already trying to move you.
So you relent, letting your back relax onto the soft rug and lifting your hips to let him place the cushion beneath them, lifting your lower body up to a place that was more comfortable for him to reach. Stretching slightly, you let out a slow breath before looking at your boyfriend.
And that breath turns into a low whine when you see the way he’s looking at you hungrily, desire almost a living force in his eyes. Given how ridiculously gorgeous he is, it’s an expression that makes your thighs clench in anticipation and your inner muscles convulse in an ache for him. You’ll never not be surprised that you’re the one to inspire that look in his eyes.
“Fuck,” He whispers, running a hand over his face. “Have I told you today that you’re beautiful? And I love you?”
You look away from him then, shyness flooding you and you go to hide yourself from his roaming gaze. He loves to make you go shy with his compliments, knowing that you love them despite the way you protest meekly. And he’s not afraid to lavish his words on you, no matter how cheesy they are.
“Anyway, enough of that.” Hoseok mutters and you’re about to query him, but by the time you look back over at him you’re moaning out in pleasure, eyes squeezing shut while your head presses back against the floor. He darted down while you were distracted and all you can feel right now is the heavenly touch of his hot, wet tongue against your pussy.
“Ah fuck.” You gasp, one hand grasping the rug tightly while your other inevitably moves to grasp Hoseok’s hair tightly, the black strands soft between your fingers. The quiet grunt he gives at the pressure of the pull vibrates against your clit as he sucks on it lazily, causing your breath to quiver.
If there was something you’d discovered about yourself during sex with Hoseok, it was that you weren’t a dirty talker. In fact, you weren’t even much of a talker. Instead, you were a babbler. You just mumbled and moaned and whined whatever came to your mind at the time, utterly unaware of the noises you were making.
Hoseok had commented before that he thought it was hot, that the knowledge you couldn’t control your mouth was a turn on. He on the other hand, tended to be either pretty quiet until the end or he’d run his mouth. You’d never thought you’d like dirty talk until you’d heard him whispering utter filth into your ear, his voice strained and hoarse from the effort.
It was surprising, and also not unwanted.
Now though, he spent the next few minutes with his mouth fully occupied. The tongue piercing that you had grown completely fond of pressed against your clit perfectly when lapped at you slowly, letting every centimetre of his tongue press against as much of you as possible before undulating it against your clit, letting the pressure and friction of the ball rile you up.
Whining, you tug at his hair desperately, feeling the familiar ball of tightened pleasure that is building. And yet it feels just out of reach, as before. Limbs tightening, you begged him to let you orgasm, to bring you over the edge that was so close and yet so far away.
But he doesn’t. Instead, he sits up and licks his lips contentedly, the slickness on them from you and not his own mouth. It’s an attractive sight and you whimper, pussy tightening on nothing at the sight of it. He doesn’t notice though, using his hand to wipe away the rest before looking over to the coffee table and grabbing the lube.
“I’m gonna use this still. You’re pretty wet but I read that you should use plenty, particularly with glass. And I don’t want to hurt you.” You’re almost bemused by the casual way he’s talking now, like he hadn’t just had his tongue buried into your pussy for the last five minutes. In fact, he’s even reading the damn label.
Frustrated, you reach and grasp his hand to attract his attention. “Just fucking put it in me.”
That gets a close lipped smile from him, the expression looking distinctly like he’s trying to stop himself from laughing and you scowl. Yes, you were being abrupt with him. But god dammit, you were lying naked in front of him, desperately horny and needy after being given excellent oral for given minutes and you just wanted to orgasm with your boyfriend once again and not just your own hand.
“Yes ma’am.” Uncapping the bottle, he tilts it up and you jolt slightly at the cool, thick liquid as it hits your swollen clit. He lets a good amount drip onto you before placing it back onto the table, his free hand moving to push the lubrication inside your entrance. For such an intimate motion, Hoseok is showing almost zero interest in having his fingers inside you as his attention is on the glass dildo.
But you moan in relief, tightening around him. He only has the one in you, but your moan attracts his attention back and he grins before adding a second, fingers curling in you and moving easily with the added lube. An almost grateful sigh escapes you and he laughs before pulling his fingers out and grabbing the dildo, wiping the excess onto the head before carefully adding even more.
The head of this dildo is bigger than Hoseok’s dick, and you’re a little nervous as he runs it along your pussy slowly. It’s incredibly cold and firm against you, the temperature causing you to shiver as it presses against the heated bundle of nerves at your centre.
“I’ll go slow, okay? You have to talk to me this time, let me know if it’s hurting or uncomfortable.” Nodding at him, you give him a small smile before your eyes widen as he pushes the tip inside you. It stretches you far more than you’d anticipated and you gasp, fingers grasping the rug tightly as he moves it.
Once it’s past your entrance, the slide is much easier given the shaft’s thinner girth but all you can focus on is how thick the head feels. There’s a brief moment of pause as Hoseok evaluates you before you nod at him and he slowly pulls it out. You grimace as it leaves you, deciding instantly that you do not like the feel of it entering and exiting.
“Don’t pull it out entirely. It...kinda hurts. Like not too bad but, I don’t like it.” You admit, causing him to frown before he nods in acknowledgement. The next few thrusts from him are much gentler as you both experiment with it and you comment on how it feels to him.
The glass is far firmer than anything you’ve had inside you before and you tell him to be careful, knowing that if he moved too hard or rough then it would probably really hurt given the lack of give in it. But you can’t deny that the overly large head is beyond pleasurable as it presses against the squishy patch of nerves on your inner wall, each movement sending sparks of overwhelming feeling through you.
“Move it like...a little down. No, not that way, so the head of it is coming up. Yeah, yeah like tha-ooh my god.” You moan, eyes falling closed as Hoseok does exactly as you suggest. The movement you’ve instructed him to do has the head pressing firmly against those nerves, the pressure intense and you convulse slightly when he moves it again.
“Oh god yes, there. There.” You pant to Hoseok, one hand moving instinctively for something and only stopping when Hoseok grasps it with his free hand, linking your fingers together and giving you something to squeeze. Like the good boyfriend he is, he keeps the dildo in that position as he moves it and you start to beg him to move it faster.
Moaning, you writhe on the floor as pleasure floods through you from the constant pressure and you half recognise the fact that you’re babbling to him to let you cum. But he knows as well as you do that you can’t orgasm from penetration alone, although given how good this feels you’re not entirely sure on that front.
Still, he understands and you almost jump off the floor when you feel the heated pressure of Hoseok’s wet tongue against your clit. A ragged moan leaves you, your free hand grasping his hair once more and tugging tightly as he licks and sucks at your clit almost playfully, enjoying your reactions for him.
You’d curse him out but you can’t quite focus, your entire body and mind centering on your pussy and the tight ball that has once more built up inside you. A small thought wonders whether you’ll not be able to reach it once more but it’s swept away quickly by the feeling of Hoseok’s piercing pressing against your engorged bud, the movement perfected over the months when he could bring you to orgasm.
And then it all combines together and your entire body tightens, loud and ragged moans being ripped from your throat as you shudder almost violently. Your hips move so powerfully that Hoseok can’t even keep movement with you, his mouth leaving you while he still moves the dildo within.
It just adds to the pleasure and you’re struck by the odd sensation of not being able to hear properly for a few seconds, the orgasm so strong that it literally knocks your senses offline. Once the wave has reached its crescendo and begins to soften again, you let out a soft whimper as Hoseok continues to move the dildo, only much slower this time.
It feels good, but almost too good and you push at his hand, telling him silently to stop. You don’t see the look of complete awe on his face when he pulls the dildo out, how he admires the visible signs of your pleasure on the transparent glass as white streaks of your own making coat it.
Instead, you’re just staring at the ceiling as your chest heaves, silent tears slipping from your eyes from just how...overwhelming everything was. The quiet clink lets you know he’s put the dildo on the table and you sniff, feeling particularly pathetic for getting so emotional over an orgasm.
“You came!” Hoseok coos, leaning over and gently resting some of his weight on you. He’s on his elbows, but your raised hips mean that you have the full weight of his own hips against you. Including the very hard erection pressed against you now. “Oh baby, don’t cry. It’s okay.”
“I’m not upset or anything, it’s okay. I just...I don’t know,” Muttering, you wipe at the tears in an almost annoyed fashion and Hoseok smiles. “I’m just feeling emotional. Which is silly. It was just an orgasm but…”
Looking at him, your heart swells with emotion for him and even more tears fall, causing him to smile softly before he wipes them away himself and kisses you. You don’t push him away, instead wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him to you so tightly, fingers pressing into his shoulders.
“It’s okay, you’ve been stressed about it for a while now. Cry if you want, I don’t mind,” He pauses, kissing your nose quickly before smiling. “I said it earlier, but I love you.”
Wiping at your eyes again, you sniff and give him a return smile that’s more than a little shaky. Letting go of him, you watch as he sits up onto his knees, looking down at you while he bites his lip. The tent in his pants is now emphasised by the wet patch that’s been caused by the combination of lube and your own excitement and you feel bad, knowing he’s put off his own pleasure.
Sitting up, you push the cushion away before taking a deep breath. You feel a little sluggish from the strength of the orgasm, but you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry. And on Christmas no less!
“So...how about some sex for you now?” Hoseok grins immediately at your words and you can’t help but laugh at his eagerness.
“Are you sure? Are you okay? Will you be up for it?” Despite his excitement, you appreciate his words of concern and squeeze his hand in response. Giving him a quick kiss, you take a deep breath to give yourself strength before letting go of him and turning around. There’s a pause, before you get on your hands and knees and look back at him.
This was his favourite position and any playfulness has left his face as he stares at the slick mess between your legs. Licking your lips, you push away the shyness before smiling at him.
“I’ll even let you cum on my back.” His jaw drops immediately. You’d discovered Hoseok liked orgasming onto you. He proclaimed he had no real reason for enjoying it but you thought he got turned on at the physical act of ‘marking’ you in a possessive way. At least...that’s why you enjoyed it anyway.
But you don’t offer it often, so it’s not something he gets to indulge in too much.
“Happy fucking Christmas to me.” He mutters under his breath and you can’t help but laugh as he pulls his clothes off at record speed. Happy Christmas to him indeed.
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Hiii can I ask for a hc of what it is like to be in a full-blown fight or heated argument with Tsukki, Akaashi, and Hajime? It can be angst or fluff hehe sorry if it’s a bit random hehe Thank u in advance! 💜😁
Fights - (Tsukishima, Akaashi, Iwaizumi)
a/n: my heart is too (soft) for angst I can never handle it lmao
warnings: slight angst, some cussing
tsukishima:
Okay it’s normal to playfully banter and bicker with each other, but when it’s a full-blown argument, it’s a whole other level
It’s clear that he needs his privacy, which includes his personal things
You were doing your normal cleaning routine, and noticed something out of its normal place. His most prized possession: his headphones. So imagine the feeling when you trip over something, sending his headphones flying, and bouncing off a hard surface, breaking them.
Nothing made you feel worse, but you already placed an order online for a newer version of the ones he had. Gosh you had never bought something so fast in your life
But of course the ONE time it happened, it was when he wanted them the most. OFC!!
He had looked in the only two places it could be, and since they weren’t there, he confronted you. So you confessed, cause obviously it would be worse to lie.
You were gonna replace them, but before you got to tell him that…man did he blow UP…he was PISSED to say the least
“The hell did you touch them for? Better yet, why were you in there in the first place? You really don’t know when to mind your own business, do you? It’s like you always do the opposite of what I say!”
You’re trying not to raise your voice either, but of course you needed to get your side of the story in
Was trying his best not to scream at you, but his voice would definitely be raised
However, he would never call you any degrading names. He absolutely drinks his “respecting women juice”. He just didn’t have his coffee before this, however.
Honestly, once he says his piece, he goes to a different room, so he can think and cool off. One thing about Tsukki is that he sometimes needs time alone, which you always respect.
Once you two are ready to talk to each other again, you approach him and explain what happened in a calm manner. You apologize for damaging his headphones. He is more of an actions over words kind of guy. He in turn cups your face in his hands and is sorry for raising his voice instead of hearing you out first
He then wraps his arms around you and puts his face in the crook of your neck.
Before y’all go into cuddle mode, you raise his face and show him the new headphones you ordered for him
Powers all his love into a big ass kiss on your forehead
THEN y’all cuddle
akaashi:
Honestly, Akaashi is a reasonable, respectful king™ that always applies common sense before doing anything irrational, so it would take a lot as his s/o to get him to that level of anger
Like, wayy worse than Bokuto
The only things that could reach him to that level is if someone is harassing or putting down his s/o or anyone he is close to (teammates, family, etc). OR, if you are purposely putting down your self-worth in front of him
Since Akaashi plays, you often would go to his matches to support them, and you would see girl volleyball players for their tournaments as well.
Most of them were tall, lean, and have an overall fit figure from years of hardcore training, and just the sight of them would make you feel insecure about yourself. You wouldn’t tell your bf, so that he wouldn’t be worried
But after seeing the vb girls again, you were then self-motivated to look that way too, but you were going the wrong way about it
At first, Akaashi didn’t notice. But then, he started noticing you eating less and working out more. You even softly refused to go to your favorite fast-food spot for a spontaneous food run. If anything, when he mentioned it, you were suddenly off the couch and ready to work out again
You accidentally left your phone open while you went to change into your workout clothes. He felt guilty for even having to look through it, but he needed to get to the bottom of this. Immediately he saw your search history, full of “how to get thinner”s, “extreme dieting”s, “ideal body shape workout”s.
Alright, he’s had enough
He is ready to burst through your door, but the gentleman he is, knocks first
When you say “come in”…
BOOM
“Why am I seeing all this bullshit on your internet history?”
You don’t see the problem with wanting to get healthier, or thinner in your mind. Like those volleyball girls
“Babe. Don’t you ever. EVER. Compare yourself to anyone else!! Those girls have been training for years. It takes years to get that way. But skipping meals, eating less, and working out more? Constantly measuring and weighing yourself? Dammit, I must be failing as a boyfriend if you’re feeling this way.
“Being skinny is NOT the same thing as being healthy! Babe, you don’t need to be thin to be beautiful. You are perfect the way you are. Now, if you want to follow a healthier lifestyle, I’ll help you. I can show you how to properly do it. Okay? Please, for me?”
He envelops you in his arms and rests his chin on your head, rubbing your back as you let a few tears leak out. He picks up your chin and gives you a kiss.
“Wanna go get some ice cream?”
“Yes, please”
Best ice cream you’ve ever had
iwaizumi:
Iwa is a MAN that just honestly wants to provide you the best, what he feels you deserve
Sometimes he feels insecure, feeling at times he could do better, causing an inner frustration with himself, which causes him to unintentionally snap one day
The two of you had your 1 year anniversary in a week, and he had never been so sure of anything than wanting to spend the rest of his days with you
So he wanted to finally tell you ‘I love you’ with a promise ring
Now, rings aren’t the cheapest thing in the world, and definitely not the one he had in mind. But you deserved it.
He had 90 percent of the money for the ring, but where was he going to get the other 10 percent? In a week? And the poor boy didn’t want any help, he wanted to be assured that he could do something for you knowing HE did it. So, naturally, he was getting stressed out.
You noticed how stressed he was getting as the days of your one-year started getting closer. He was intently texting every second of any break he had, and it started to worry you.
3 days left: He says, “I’m fine.” 2 days: “Don’t worry about it, love.”
The night before: when it all caved in.
You decided to confront him about it. “Iwa, what are you so worried about? You’ve been more concerned about your phone then telling me… is something wrong? Did I upset you?”
He is still texting
“IWA.”
He finally looks up at you. “I’m trying to do something, y/n. Can you just LET me?”
You put your hands on your hips.
Oh boy, was he in for it.
“What is so important that you’ve been more interested in your stupid ass messages than you are with me? You’re over me already, aren’t you? And right before our damn anniversary? You could have at least let me know when you first got over me!”
Iwa tries to get his brain cells together, but just goes off.
He gets up. “If you MUST know, I’ve been trying for MONTHS. MONTHS! To save up for this goddamn ring tomorrow that probably isn’t even good enough for you! I’m so pathetic! You deserve someone who can get you anything you wanted right then and there! You deserve someone better than me, who can give you what I can’t! I’m trying my fucking best to be what you deserve, but how? I can’t even buy you a simple, fucking ring so I can finally tell you that I love you!”
You’re both in tears.
“You love me?”
“More than anything else in this world.”
You let out a sob and rush over to him and you embrace one another. You simultaneously look up and brush off the other’s tears.
“Iwa, I don’t need any fancy things to be happy. I just need you, all of you. There is nothing or nobody that can change the way I feel for you. I love you.”
You kiss and continue to embrace, moving it to the couch to wallow in each other’s presence, all through the early morning
Midnight hits.
“Happy anniversary, y/n.” “Happy anniversary, Iwa.”
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To Go See You
Pairing: Lee Know x Reader
Word Count: 8.6k
Genre: Fluff
Summary: All he wanted to do was go to the convenience store with you, but that simple desire ends up costing more than he thought.
You and Minho are walking out of the convenient store with Minho holding a grocery bag filled with snacks. He’s nibbling on a sausage while you’re eating an ice cream.
“I can’t believe you’re eating ice cream in the middle of the night.”
“And I can’t believe you’re eating a sausage.”
“Hm…true.”
You check the grocery bag, making sure that you bought enough for the members back in the dance studio. You look at the time on your phone, and it’s midnight. A second later, you check again, and ten seconds later, you check the time again. Minho can sense how tense you are.
“What’s going on?”
“I dunno…This is my first time doing this…you know…sneaking out. Like, I know I’m not supposed to let you guys eat so much unhealthy food…What if we get caught??”
He nudges you on the shoulder. “Oh god, what are you so scared about? It’s just once.”
“That’s what you said last time, and the time before. This isn’t a healthy habit!”
“Geez, stop being a goody-two shoes, Manager. You gotta live life to the fullest.”
“Sneaking out to buy candy and snacks isn’t living to the fullest…”
“Whatever, mood killer.”
“What??”
“Nothing.” He playfully replies.
You punch him on the arm, laughing along with him.
During the midst of practice, the members were craving for something—anything—to eat. Unable to bear hearing the cries of hunger from the members, you volunteered to sneak in some food from the cafeteria. Minho, who usually maintains his diet pretty well, also raised his hand up to go with you and even persuaded you to get junk food from his favorite convenience store. While you did retaliate at first, you ended up going along with it and immediately regretted it.
You sigh. “We should’ve gone to the cafeteria instead.”
“Why?”
“I think we’ve been out for too long. What if the CEO sees us sneaking in with these bags?”
“He’s currently overseas, so don’t worry about it! Besides, all they have is salad tonight and I don’t feel like eating it.”
“But what about—”
“You worry way too much!”
Minho wraps an arm around you, pulling you in for a hug. You nearly stumbled but was able to catch yourself. When you look up, your face is nearly centimeters away from him. You heart stops beating, and when Minho smiles, your heart skips a beat. You move away, pressing the ice cream on your cheek so that it can cool down.
“I-I just want to be safe.”
His smile fades away and becomes serious. There are moments when Minho enjoys playing around with you, and he knows that you get shy easily. You always tell him to stop, but your warning goes in one ear and out the other.
“Oh, come on, are you really that upset that we didn’t go to the cafeteria?”
You shake your head. “I’m not upset, I’m just scared,” you chuckle nervously. “But it’s still nice to spend some quality time with you.”
He doesn’t respond immediately. “Mm-hmm, it’s hard to talk to you without having the other guys interrupting. We should hang out more like this another day.”
“We should! I haven’t seen your cats in such a long time.”
“I said that we should hang out with each other, not you with my cats.”
“But I spend less time with them compared to you. I’m just kidding. But back to the point, I really like hanging out with all of you guys, but I’d like to spend time with each and every one of you.”
“Hey, hey, hey, just me, okay?”
You laugh. “You sound like an obsessive boyfriend, but wouldn’t you consider this be considered as our first date?”
He stares at you blankly, pausing before replying. “No. This isn’t a date. But since you brought that up, yea, let’s do it.”
“Do what?”
“Go on a date. Just us two, alone, nobody else. You and me. (L/N) (Y/N) and Lee Minho.”
“What?!” You immediately cover your mouth to avoid grabbing attention. “What…??” You whisper.
“We’re not doing it because we’re romantically interested in each other right? It’s just for fun, but we’re really going as ‘friends’.”
You don’t know how you two got from talking about snacks to going on a date. You almost laughed to lighten the mood, but seeing how serious his face is, you have a feeling that he isn’t joking. You weren’t thinking as the next hangout to be considered as a date, but since you’ve never gone on a date before, so you thought, why not?
“Sure.”
He extends his pinky finger. “Alright, promise me?”
You find this a little cute. Minho, a fully grown adult, wanting to do a pinky promise with you. You grin from ear-to-ear, curling your small pinky with his. “Promise!”
But…amidst the fun, unbeknownst to you and Minho, there’s a strange man wearing a face mask and cap, hiding his identity and crouching behind a bush, taking pictures of you and him together.
==========
It’s been a day since you snuck out with Minho, and now you’re in the building just coming out from a meeting. It was a briefing to schedule a day to go a radio show that they usually go on for every comeback. Usually, the members are a part of the meeting, but they’re so busy with dance practice that you decided to cover it for them. They’ve gone on the show so much that the producers from the radio are familiar with them.
You look through the schedule on your tablet, seeing how busy they’re going to be next week. You sigh, not excited to see them overworked. They already lack sleep and a member is always receiving a new injury every day, but with the inclusion of going on shows and having cameras on them constantly is just another add-on to their stress. Then again, this is a part of their job, and the best you can do is try to make it as easy as possible for them.
“Miss (Y/N).” Calling from behind you is the head of the casting department’s secretary, Miss Choi.
You give her a polite smile, bowing slightly. “Good afternoon!”
“Choi Eunha would like to see you in her office.”
“Right now? I was just about to head to the boys’ practice room.”
“Yes, this is urgent, and she needs you immediately.”
You don’t like the sound of that. You rarely see your boss, and when you do, it’s usually because you get into quarrels with her. It was like that as well when you appointed yourself as Stray Kids’ manager even after she deemed you as too unprepared to handle a boy group.
You sigh, but you also crack a smile. “Okay.”
==========
In Eunha’s office, the walls are covered in dark green wallpaper, shelves filled with music scores, trophies, and how-to books on building successful businesses. Hanging on the walls are photos of when your boss was younger, shaking hands with the J.Y.P. along with other important figures. Her desk has a folder organizer, which is basically a convenient metal divider that holds paper. On the opposite end is her desktop computer.
Sitting on the other side of the mahogany desk is you, your shoulders crunched up as you look around the room that you’ve seen many times before. There’s a stern look on her face, meaning that what she’s about to tell you isn’t going to be in your favor. She types, tapping each key individually with her long, witch nails painted red.
Once she’s done that, she rotates her computer around to show what’s on her screen. “Read this for me. Aloud.”
Displayed in front of you is an online article. There’s the title in bold fonts. “Lee Know of Stray Kids Spotted with an Unidentified Woman at a Convenient Stor—WHAT?!”
You cover your mouth with both your hands in utter shock. Underneath the title is a picture of you and Minho, and his arm is around your neck. You can clearly see a side view of Minho’s face, but thankfully your face has been obscured, only revealing your back. Even then, you were wearing your hoodie over your head, so it isn’t even possible to see you entirely.
But still, it doesn’t solve the issue that you and Minho have been caught together. Judging by this picture alone, you can already sense the enormous amout of backlash from both the entertainment world and the consumers. This speaks high volume that this looks like you and Minho were on a date.
“You should be kissing God’s ass right now that the netizen couldn’t get a picture of your face, but who knows when they’ll dig up your identity. Care to explain why you and Lee Minho were out so late at night?” Without even having to ask her, she’s clearly trying to reserve her anger.
“Uhm…okay…it’s not what it looks like, Ma’am…Minho and I wanted to get some fresh air.”
“And why did you guys decide to go out when you guys could’ve just hung outside the building?”
“Well…uh…you see…the boys were getting hungry. They were starving! So I couldn’t let them practice in that state, so I offered to go buy food for them and Minho tagged along with me.”
But you’re unable to convince her, so she opens her mouth to begin her lecture, but you think of anything to interrupt her. “Look, Ma’am! It’s not what you think!! You know how journalists are!! Ah ha ha…they make things seem more dramatic than usual just to get the clicks. Minho and I weren’t going on a date. They were craving for some snacks, so we went out. That’s all! There’s nothing going on between me and Minho. Absolutely nothing.”
Eunha raises an eyebrow, crossing her eyes as she leans back in her chair. The lack of response makes you anxious, internally begging for her to just say something, anything.
“I know it wasn’t your intention to be caught, and I’m gonna go on the limb and believe that you and Lee Minho aren’t dating. However. You still violated the rules. You should be well aware that, as their manager, you must keep your relationship with them professional.”
“Yes, I know, but—”
“And! During their dieting phase, they must not eat any junk food. I trusted you with that responsibility, but you failed to maintain it.”
“I’m very sorry!” You bow. “This won’t happen again! Please, do whatever you want with me, but don’t punish the boys.”
“Hm…very well. Then I have something in mind for you.”
==========
“What?!” Everybody shouts in unison.
In the dance practice room, the nine boys surround you in a semi-circle. Your head is sow and your shoulders are slumped with shame. Everyone is devastated with the news, but Minho is the one who’s been impacted the most.
“What are we going to do?!” Hyunjin pulls his hair.
“That’s it. We might as well say our goodbyes to each other. We’re not gonna last a week,” Changbin says, like he’s reciting a line from a soap opera. “We’re gonna die.”
“Changbin, it’s not the end of the world. You guys will be fine,” You elbow him playfully, although it was a bit forced. “As much as I don’t want to separate from you guys either, there’s not much we can do.”
Eunha has decided that you will not be with them during their comeback. In order to avoid more gossip, she thought it would be safest if you did work at home, scheduling and making phone calls, and wait until the rumors have died down until you can work with them again. Not only that, but you also can’t text or call them, and if you had something to say, you would have to contact their temporary manager. You can’t even be in the building if they’re in the building as well. You’re practically quarantined from them.
“Isn’t this a bit too much…?” Felix asks with a saddened tone.
“It is…but honestly, this is better than being fired, am I right?” You said that as a joke, but nobody laughs.
“So…no texting? No calling?” Hyunjin asks.
“We can’t even say hi to you?” Seungmin also asks.
You shake your head. “You guys have to pretend that I don’t exist. But don’t worry! It’ll just be temporary. Once the public forgets about it, then I’ll be back in no time. I’ll sure the temp manager will take care of you guys well.”
“But…it’s not gonna the same without you.” Jisung sulks
“Who’s gonna carry my stuff? Our stage clothes? My gaming consoles??” Jeongin tries his best not to panic.
You lower your eyebrows. “Your new manager will do all that for you. And I’m your manager, not your bellboy.”
“I know…but what if the new manager glares at me if I ask him to carry my stuff? At least you understand.”
“Guys, we shouldn’t be whining about it. It’s technically our fault too,” Chan chimes in. “We’re the ones who kept begging for food, and we were well aware of the rules too. The decision has already been made, so what we can do now is continue training and prove that we can do this ourselves!”
“Remember when Chan had to be our manager for a time because we couldn’t afford one?” Woojin adds. “Having (Y/N) babysit us made us forget that we’ve did it before, and we can do it again.”
“Well…don’t prove too well that you guys are independent. Otherwise, I’m not gonna have a job.” You jester.
“Yea…yea, you’re right. We got this!” Jisung cheers, fist pumping the air.
“But…I’m still gonna miss you.” Felix says, but instinctively in English.
“I’ll miss you guys too, but it won’t be for long.”
You love each and every member, especially for how positive their mindset is. Even though they go through their own individual struggles, they do their best to overcome them and help each other. They started from scratch before, so not having you isn’t going to be a problem.
…Or at least that’s what you hope so. You turn to Minho, who hasn’t said a single world since you broke the news. “Minho? Are you okay?”
Almost like that was a trigger, he marches out of the practice room. He’s clearly upset by this, but even more than the members. You run after him, following his heavy footsteps.
==========
Minho is standing by the elevator, tapping his foot as he waits for the doors to slide open. His arms are crossed, and although his expression is like his usual blank look, there’s fury behind his eyes, like he’s about to start a fire.
You catch up to him before the doors open, leaning over and putting your hands on your knees to keep you up. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to talk to your boss.”
“What?!”
“It’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
“You’re the only one who’s being punished when I played a part in it too.”
The elevator dings and the doors open. Before he enters, you grab him by the sleeve. “Wait! You’re not serious about talking to her, are you?”
His silence is his way of saying ‘yes, I’m serious.’
“Please think about it carefully. I’m sure it’s because you guys are releasing a new album soon and punishing you guys will just intervene with your schedule. She probably wants you guys to focus on practicing.”
“Then why didn’t she say anything to us? Why is it just you? Did she not say anything about us at all?”
You let go of his sleeve, scratching your chin. “…She didn’t say anything…But! I guarantee that it’s because you guys are working and being disciplined is not going make things any better. If anything, if you want to be cynical, then it could also be because she didn’t want to get in trouble herself! You guys are well-loved, so if she was caught yelling at you guys, it’ll just bite her back.”
He stares blankly at you, but his mind is somewhere else. This goes on for a few more seconds before he nods his head as if he just agreed to the conversation he had in his mind.
“Ah…I get it now.”
“Get what?”
“Your boss is technically punishing us.”
“Wait, what?”
“Yea, by taking you away.”
…Really?
“Ugh, that bitch, because of her we can’t go on our date.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone there, Minho. I’m on temporary leave, not fired. But if you keep calling her names, I’m seriously going to lose my job.”
“What? Don’t deny the truth.”
You can’t believe he called her that with such anguish. It almost makes you laugh, turning this situation more light-hearted. Plus, his priorities are definitely not in the same playing field as the rest of the members.
“And you’re upset about the date? I thought we were just kidding about that.”
Again, he stares at you with his wide, blank eyes, then he shakes his head. “No. I was being serious. Why would I joke around about that?”
Your smile fades, then your cheeks become red. You don’t know how he can remain calm by saying such bold claims. “Minho…stop saying stuff like that or else we’ll get into more trouble.”
He sighs. “I was so excited about this date too, and I don’t want to wait any longer than I should.”
You’re flattered that he wants to go on this date with you, but you actually weren’t intending for him to mean it. However, you can’t bear to break his heart any more than you should, so regardless if he’s joking or not, it’s best to cheer him up.
“Alright, think about it this way: once the rumors died down and I come back, then we’ll plan out this…’date’.”
Light returns in his eyes, and he smiles from ear-to-eat. He gasps subtly, unable to contain that thrill in him, already thinking of places to take you.
“Okay, okay, but wait at least. Give or take a few weeks, then we’ll see each other again, alright? For now, take care, and please take care of the other members too.”
“…Alright.” Minho spreads his arms wide, wanting a hug. As much as you want to hug him, you don’t dare repeat the same mistake. For all you know, there’s probably an employee watching you two.
Wait until everybody forgot, you convince yourself.
You hate that you’re doing this, but you walk around Minho, pressing on the elevator ‘up’ arrow. The door rings open, and you enter. “I-I’ll see you soon, Minho! Good luck on the comeback!”
You keep waving until the door closes, and the last thing you see is his unpredictable, hollow gaze. You don’t know what he’s thinking, but for all you know, you probably upset him for ignoring his hug. You bang your head on the wall, sighing heavily.
“They’ll be alright…right…?”
==========
Hello, this is JYP,
Firstly, we sincerely apologize to STAYs who have been left with confusion these past few days. With the bottom of their hearts, Stray Kids love and appreciate each and every STAY and would like to clear the dating rumor between Lee Know and the woman in the photo. It is confirmed that the idol and the woman are not dating.
The woman has officially been identified as a JYP employee and would like to remain anonymous. She has violated one of the rules and endangered the idol by sneaking him out late at night, so she has been put on temporary leave. Once again, we would like to apologize for a late response. Please look forward to Stray Kids’ comeback as they worked endlessly for you STAYs.
…Even though you know that this isn’t intended to offend you and to just divert the fans’ attention away, but it still felt like a direct attack toward you. Already from Naver, you’re getting immense backlash. Many of the fans are criticizing you for exposing Minho to danger, then there are others who are outright calling you insulting names.
However, you don’t blame them. The notice itself is vague, and it painted you as somewhat of a villain. It isn’t like you can reveal yourself and beg them to understand your side of the story; it’ll just make the situation worst by revealing your face.
You lean back on your living room couch, tossing your phone to the side. In your one-bedroom apartment, the curtains are blocking every possible opening. You’re afraid that an obsessed fan or netizen is going to take a picture of you through your balcony sliding door or from a window.
It’s been a full week since you last had contact with the guys, and it’s getting lonely. You’ve dedicated most of your time with them that you never really had the chance to make friends. Since you’ve been separated from the boys, you never realized how much of a pitiful life you’re living. You don’t even have a pet to keep you company.
But on the bright side, the release of their new music video went smoothly. They’ve been receiving praise for it, which is a definite plus in the right direction. Fans should be focusing on this, not some half-assed apology that some faceless employee wrote. They became fans for the members, not for the drama.
“I wonder how they’re doing…”
You shouldn’t worry too much. They’re all grown men who live together, and they haven’t burned down their dorm yet, so that’s a good sign that they’re doing fine. Despite that, you still miss hanging out with them.
You sit up straight with a new determination in your eyes. Even if you’re not physically there for them, it’s still your duty as their manager to take care of them. For all you know, they’re probably starving themselves. Luckily, their current manager sent you their location in case there’s an emergency. You search up the name of their favorite fried chicken place, download their app, then placed an order.
Once that’s over with, there’s an option to add extra customer notes. You do have something in mind, but you feel bad for whoever is going to have to do it. You decide to go along with it and pay more in tips. When you’re done, you send a text message to the temp manager to give him a heads up.
==========
The nine boys return from the backstage and back to their private space. They take off their coats, using handheld fans to cool their faces down. The staff members are putting cooling packs on their faces. They rest silently, none of them saying a word as their temp manager is nonchalantly playing on his phone. The boys stare at him, somewhat waiting for him to say words of encouragement. However, he simply continues playing games, tapping aggressively on his screen.
Even though they assured you that they’ll be fine on their own, but they didn’t specifically say that they’ll be alright in the long run. With each passing day, their spirit falters more and more. Although they’re always encouraging each other, it doesn’t feel the same when you’re not there to give them a pep talk.
“I’m so bored.” Hyunjin says to end the silence.
“It’s too quiet…” Seungmin adds.
“My mental energy is deteriorating…I need something refreshing.” Jisung continues.
“Something…sweet…and nice…and bubbly,” Changbin lists. “…And has pretty eyes…contagious smile…and positive attitude…and very good at managing us.”
“Shh! Don’t say stuff like that.” Chan elbows Changbin, flicking his chin to point at their temp manager.
“Ow! What?? I’m just being honest!! It’s not like he’s gonna hear us. He’s blasting the hell outta his video game!”
And he’s right. The manager has his earphones plugged in, so into his game.
“Still. Be careful with what you say.”
“…I miss (Y/N).” Felix bluntly states.
Chan tries to think of something, but he can’t help but agree with him as well. Everyone here misses you. One of your traits that they took for granted is your gentle nature. No matter how dark things get, you always turn it around into a positive light. Even though criticism is always welcomed, it doesn’t hurt to hear your praise every so often.
But out of the nine members, there’s one who’s taking it the hardest. Minho is sitting on the floor over a blanket, watching a video on his phone. Jisung lays down next to him and looks over to see what he’s watching.
“Hey, hey, whadda you watchin’?”
In the video, Minho is the one holding the phone, and he’s recording a video of his cats playing in his parents’ home. His voice can be heard cooing at his three pets as they claw at their new toy. Within seconds, Jisung is already bored and was about to leave before he hears a second voice in the video.
“Soongie, come here!” Your legs entire from the right side of the screen, getting on your knees and crouching over to get his cat’s attention.
You spread your arms out for her to run in, and Soongie stares at you suspiciously before slowly approaching you. She rests in your lap, and you hug her.
“You’re getting bigger. Minho better be raising you right.”
“Of course, I’m her owner, after all.”
You laugh. “That’s the problem.”
Jisung is able to quickly see the date that the video was recorded, and it was before their debut. Judging by the hairstyle you have in the video, it was taken right before the filming of Hellavator.
Minho pauses the video, staring at a freeze-frame of you smiling at the camera. Jisung gives him a concerned look, raising an eyebrow at his sanity. He then zooms in to your face, gazing at it a few seconds longer.
Unable to handle it any longer, Jisung hits him on the arm. “Hyung, what are you, a creep?”
He stares at him with his emotionless eyes. “No.”
After responding to that rhetorical question, Minho stakes a screenshot of your face—ten times. He presses the home button on his phone, exposing his home wallpaper to be a close-up of your face.
“What in the…”
Despite the rule of erasing any connections that leads back to you, Minho isn’t making it subtle in the slightest. Minho stands up and walks to the counter where it’s filled with snacks and drinks. He picks up a can of soda, flicking it open and the carbonation fizzling into the air.
Jisung follows him, his jaw still hanging open. “Hyung…are you okay?”
“Mm, I am,” he takes a sip then picks up a piece of fruit and shows it to him. “Han, did you know that this is (Y/N)’s favorite fruit?”
“Hyung, can you at least not mention her name?? For all we know, there could be people listening.”
Minho gazes at the soda. “Doesn’t this drink look like her too?”
Jisung slumps his shoulders. “…I think you need help.”
“Why? I’m fine.”
But that response doesn’t do much to convince Jisung. “We all miss her too, but you can’t just keep waving your phone around in public. It’s just going to incriminate her more.”
“You know, I didn’t even get to hug her before she left.”
“Are you even listening to me?!” He sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if your brain is complicated or you’re just single-minded.”
Minho gazes at the soda like it’s his long lost soulmate, rotating it around to see its every beauty.
“Did you guys order chicken?” A staff member enters the private sector.
The members look at each other, giving each other puzzled looks. The temp manager flicks his eyes at the deliverer then sets his phone down. “Here.”
He gets up and takes the boxes of chicken. The boys can already smell the greasy, fried smell of the oil oozing from the containers. The manager sets it down on the counter, displaying the content one by one.
They circle around the food, Woojin opening it first and the brightest smile appears on his face. “Chicken!!”
“Whoa! Did you buy this, Manager??”
The temp manager shakes his head.
“Look, there’s a note.” Seungmin takes out a piece of folded paper.
He unfolds it, and while the handwriting is unfamiliar, the letter is recognizable.
Good job on the performance tonight, guys! Don’t stress yourselves out too much and use every chance to take a break. Make sure to eat a lot and please, please treat the manager kindly.
Even though it’s anonymous, it’s obvious who sent the fried chicken here. Even though it’s you, you made a special request for the chicken place to write a note.
“Managerrrrrrrrrrr…” Hyunjin drags the last syllable of your name, almost shedding a tear.
“Ah…I read that in her voice.” Jisung sniffs exaggeratedly.
The boys pass out the wooden chopsticks, each of them taking a piece and eating it. Each and every member savors the snack, appreciating your gift. Even when you’re not there, you’re still caring for them.
“Minho, are you gonna eat?” Chan turns to him.
But instead of answering, he glares at the box of chicken. Once again, no one knows what he’s thinking.
“…Minho?”
He takes his phone out from his pocket, scrolling through his contacts. Chan leans over to peek at his screen, and to his horror, he’s trying to call you.
“Minho?! What are you doing?!”
“Calling her.”
“Why??”
“Because I want to.”
“You can’t!”
He reaches out to swipe the phone out of his hand. But Minho moves back, pulling his phone away from Chan’s grasp. Minho nearly falls down as he avoids Chan’s hand. In the midst of their fight, his thumb accidentally presses on the ‘call’ button.
“Hang it up right now!”
“No.” He runs away from Chan.
They run in circles while the younger members plus Woojin are staring at their fiasco. Their temp manager doesn’t even bat an eye, piling his plastic plate with as many fried chickens that it can bear to hold.
“Are you trying to get her in trouble??”
“It’s just for a second.”
But this comes to a quick end when the ringing ends, which meant that you deliberately declined his call. Minho freezes on the spot, causing Chan to run into him. They both fall to the ground, his cheek hitting his phone.
“What the hell, Minho?!”
“She…turned down my call.”
“What?”
“She turned it down…” He repeats but in a more sullen tone.
Chan gets up, helping Minho up as well. After getting a good look at his heart-broken face, he’s no longer angry at him and instead, pities him.
“She…didn’t want to answer my call. She doesn’t want to talk to me,” he continues his muttering.
“Hey, hey, chill,” Chan pats him on the back. “She’s most likely following the rules and doesn’t want us to get into trouble again. I’m sure it isn’t because of what you think.”
Despite the comfort, his words go in from one ear and out the other.
==========
“What did I do, what did I do, what did I do…??” You ramble to yourself.
You didn’t mean to decline his call. You panicked, wanting to pick it up, but in the back of your head, you could hear your boss’s haunting voice threatening to fire you. In a split second, you tapped that red, glowing decline button.
While you thought that it was going to make you relieved, you’re now overwhelmed with guilt. You know full well that before you left, Minho made it clear that he was upset with your boss’s decision. Although you aren’t entirely sure why he would call you, it might’ve been important, so it only makes you feel all the more guilty.
“They…they have their manager…they should be okay,” you try convincing yourself. “It’s only for a little longer.”
==========
A few more days go by, and still no updates regarding you. No one has any idea what you’re doing, and they’ve been doing nothing but going to one performance after another. Every so often, they would go on a variety show, but then they would go back to performing again.
In the middle of their hectic schedule, they have a chance to take a break, but the boys settled with staying in their practice room to see if they can improve on their choreography. As their promotion is hitting home-stretch, their exhaustion is creeping up on them. It’s times like these when they become the most sensitive—the littlest thing triggering them into a tantrum or breakdown into tears.
And while the boys’ energy is being tested, Minho is the one who’s struggling the most. Every time they have an ounce of a break, he would dart straight to his phone, praying that he’ll see a call or text from you. But to his disappointment, it’s the opposite.
Minho rarely expresses distraught, so when it comes to times like this, they don’t know what to say or do to make him feel any better. The only remedy they could think of is bringing you back, but they don’t want to risk the factor of getting you fired or starting rumors.
“Okay, take ten.” Chan dismisses them.
Just as predicted, Minho glides across the room and to the counter where his phone resides. He turns it on only to slump his shoulders when there’s no notifications from you.
Jeongin and Seungmin watch from afar as they pity him. They’ve never seen him so depressed before. It’s so bad to the extent that they feel bad whenever they’re feeling cheery while he’s suffering.
“It’s like watching a monkey in a cage reaching for a banana that’s too far. So sad.” Seungmin states.
“Do you think we should ask our temp manager if he can put her on the phone? It’s hard watching Hyung in this state.”
“And risk her getting in trouble? You never know what stalkers are up to these days, hacking into our information.”
“Right…” Jeongin trails off. “But…why is Hyung like this? We want her back too, especially since our current…‘manager’…isn’t the best.”
Jeongin and Seungmin look at the corner, where their temp manager is sitting on a chair, completely out cold and snoring. On his stomach are crumbs of snacks that he didn’t bother sharing with the rest of the boys. His phone is on his stomach too, his game still on.
“Do you really think…Hyung and (Y/N) are…dating?” Jeongin brings up. “I mean, it has to be really serious for (Y/N) to leave us.”
“Hey, hey, don’t be crazy,” Jisung stands in between them, wrapping his arms around the two youngest members. “(Y/N) would never go for anyone like Minho-hyung, I think. Sure, he’s got the looks, but (Y/N) is wayyy out of his league. She should go for someone else…like me!” He points his thumb to himself with a bright smile.
However, neither of the two boys laughs. Jisung’s grin disappears, playfully punching Jeongin and Seungmin.
“No one will ever go for you, Hyung!” Jeongin teases.
“What?? Do you want to have a talk after this??”
“AHHHHHHH!!!!!”
This sudden scream nearly gives Jisung a heart attack. Without thinking, he jumps onto Jeongin, holding onto him so tightly that he can’t breathe.
“Wh-wh-wh-what was that?!”
The source of the shout came from none other than Minho. And just like that, he returns to playing with his phone. At an absolute loss from this out-of-sorts behavior, the boys stare at Minho, waiting for him to explain his outburst. Even the temp manager woke up from his nap and was startled by him.
“Min…ho…?” Chan calls his name questioningly.
He looks up with innocent eyes. “‘Sup.”
“Do…you need to have a talk?”
“No. I’m perfectly fine,” he laughs like an insane person.
“…Let’s have a chat.”
=========
On the third floor patio of the building, Chan and Minho are leaning over the ledge, drinking cold water bottles. The sun is setting over the horizon decorated with Seoul’s city skyscrapers. The sky is baby blue but fades into a burning orange as it reaches the land. Among the two men, the sounds of city noise wrap around them, the honking and car motors growling coming from cars.
But none of that matters, at least to Minho. He could care less about the city’s serenity. If he could switch the city to see you under the sunset, then he would’ve done it in an instant. And that’s the issue that Chan has with him.
“I think it’s better to cut to the chase, but you need to snap out of it.”
“Snap out of what?”
Chan sighs. “Get your head out of the clouds and get back to work! I swear, you need to stop acting like child begging for his mother. You’re a grown adult.”
His bluntness makes Minho return to reality. Even though Minho hardly said a word about what’s bothering him, it’s very obvious what the source of it is.
“Do you want to see (Y/N)?”
Mentioning your name catches his attention, darting his eyes to him. With how fast he moved, Chan jolts.
“Is she here??”
“What?? No! Maybe? Probably? I dunno. Look, I’m not bringing her up because she’s here, but there’s something that’s obviously bothering you more than you missing her, isn’t there?”
Minho doesn’t answer, so Chan isn’t sure if he hit the nail or not.
“Wuagh!!!” he shouts without warning, startling Chan. “Who gave that lady the right to boss her around like that?!”
Presumably by ‘lady’, Minho is referring to your boss, Eunha.
“Her boss treats her like shit because she just hates her!! This is why she’s forcing (Y/N) not to talk to us! This is a punishment for her, but why does it feel like I’m suffering the most?!” He slams his head against the rails, groaning like he’s in pain.
“…Did you guys end on a bad note before the separation?”
“…I was the one who told her that it’d be okay to go, it’s obviously my fault, but she took the blame. She did, not me. Then she ignores my call. She’s mad at me for getting her in trouble for what I did.”
“…Ohhh…I get it. Then why don’t you just clarify it with her?”
“…Clarify?”
He nods. “I mean, yea. It’s all mental barriers. When you think about it, there aren’t actually any limits. Just go talk to her, who’s stopping you?”
“…You’re right.”
“Yea, if you feel guilty, then stand your ground and let her know straight up.”
“Thanks, Hyung. I needed the encouragement. Instead of wailing like a baby, I should do something. This is my life, so I’m not going to let what others tell me what to do!” He chugs the water bottle until it’s empty. “Maybe she didn’t intentionally decline my call! I’ll confront her and ask her straight-up!”
“…What?”
With this newfound confidence, Minho crushes the plastic bottle and throws it in the recycling bin. He wipes his lips, marching back inside.
“W-wait…where are you going?”
“I’m gonna go talk to (Y/N).”
“Oh, ok—WHAT?!”
Before he knows it, Minho has already ran off.
“That’s not what I was talking about! I was saying that you should talk to (Y/N)’s boss, not (Y/N) herself!!!” Chan chases after him.
==========
Since you’ve been working at home, you feel like you’ll go insane if you’re holed up any longer. Earlier in the day, you went out for a quick walk around the park, spending most of the time sitting on the bench and enjoying the fresh air. It felt weird relaxing since you’re always working. You even forgot how it was like to take a break, so it was nice to take some time for yourself.
You wonder how the boys are doing, hopefully not overworking themselves as usual. You would text the current manager and ask him about them, but he would always reply with a ‘they’re fine’. The vagueness of it doesn’t soothe your distress. However, there’s not much you can do about it, so you have to trust his words.
You sigh. Perhaps you’ve become a workaholic—so much so that that’s all you ever think about. You even feel a little anxious if you’re relaxing a bit too much. Not only that, but ignoring Minho’s call also took a small toll on you. You pray that he knew that it was a misunderstanding. If he doesn’t, then when you get back to work, you’ll explain everything to him.
“I wonder how he’s doing.”
Then out of the blue, you hear fast-paced footsteps coming from behind. Curious, you turn around, and for a second, you thought that your eyes were playing tricks on you. Running toward you is none other than Minho himself.
“M-Minho?!”
He brakes, stopping inches away from you. You raise your arms up to protect yourself in case he runs into you, but luckily he didn’t. Without warning, he puts both of his hands on your shoulders, staring at you with his wide eyes as if making sure that it’s really you.
Feeling insecure, you avert your eyes. “Wh-wh-what are you doing here?”
Then he twirls his head around, checking his surroundings like he’s being chased. “No time to explain. Come with me.”
Without warning, he carries you over his shoulder. “O-oh my god…!!! Minho!!! Put me down!!” You kick your feet and flail your arms, but when he nearly drops you, you hold onto him. “W-wait, don’t drop me though!!”
“Sorry. Let’s go.” He runs off, still hanging over his shoulder.
==========
In a more desolated section of the neighborhood, Minho finally puts you down. He leans on the wall of a building, finding difficulty catching his breath. He slides down against the wall, hitting the back of his head on it.
You get down on your knees, scooting closer to him. “What are you doing here? You’re sweating enough to make a lake.”
“My legs…so sore.”
“You’re in your exercise clothes too. Did you just get out of practice today??”
His face turns red, heating up like a robot’s exhausted engine. You brush his bangs away so you can place the back of your hand on his forehead. His sweat rubs off on your knuckles, and while his face is red, his temperature is normal.
“Thank god you’re okay. Do you need water?”
But rather than responding to you, he takes ahold of your hand. You flinch, but you don’t jerk your hand away, unsure of what he’s going to do next. He closes his eyes, moving your hand to his cheek. Your heart skips a beat, but you’re so taken aback that you’re frozen. You can feel his sweat being wiped with your hand, making you conscious that you’re making his face dirty but he doesn’t seem to mind.
“Why did you decline my call?” He asks bluntly.
His question throws you off, muddled with what you want to say. You two haven’t seen each other in weeks, and this is the first thing he says to you? Then again, this would’ve been the first that came to mind too when you reunite with him.
“I-I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t thinking and accidentally rejected.”
“…So you don’t hate me?”
“What? Why would I hate you?” You laugh. “Where is this coming from?”
“Oh, good,” he keeps rubbing your hand against his cheek. “I just wanted to ask you that.”
“…That’s it?”
“Yea.”
“…Really?”
“Yup.”
You stare at him blankly, then burst into laughter. “You’re so weird. You come here out of breath and sweaty just for you to ask me that?”
Even though you’re the one who’s giddy, he doesn’t have an ounce of laughter. He isn’t letting go of your hand.
“It’s not funny.”
His dead tone makes your laugh disappear. For a second, your heart dropped at the fear that you angered him for fooling around.
“I thought you were angry at me for not taking responsibility and didn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“Responsibility…? For what? …Oh.”
Not once did you think that he was to blame. Of course, he was the one who gave you the idea to go to the convenience store, but you weren’t expecting this to haunt Minho. It’s almost adorable about how guilty he feels.
“I would never hate you or any of the members,” You crouch next to him, leaning on the wall with him. “If I did, then I would’ve quit a long time ago. I’m sorry for not picking up your call, but you can’t be calling me when we have to keep our friendship hidden until the coast is clear.”
Again, his disappointed look doesn’t go away. You contemplate about what to say next, but nothing comes to mind. With his unreadable expressions, it’s like tiptoeing through a field of mines.
“Why can’t I be happy without worrying about what others think of me?”
His fingers intertwine with yours.
“Why am I criticized for wanting to be with you?”
Suddenly, he kisses the back of your hand. Your eyes widen, in utter shock with what he’s done, but your mind is in shambles with how to interpret the kiss. While you’re still processing the flirtatious move, Minho takes this opportunity to make a move on you. He leans over, and you lean back. He keeps drawing closer and closer until you nearly fall down.
“W-what are you doing?”
“It felt like years since I last saw you. It was seriously hell…”
“Minho, language…”
“It felt like forever, but it was only weeks. I thought re-watching videos and keeping two hundred pictures of you would make it better, but no. It did nothing.”
“…Excuse me…?” You thought you heard him wrong, but two hundred?
“It made me wonder why I thought like that. And I think I know why…”
He lets go of your hand, wrapping his arm around you, pressing his face against your collarbone. With his weight on your shoulders, you fall on your bottom. His hot breath lays on your skin, making your skin tickle a bit.
“Hey…are you feeling well?”
“No. Not at all. Not even a little. I’m suffering so much that I could die.”
“Isn’t that a bit of an exaggeration…”
“No it’s not. How dare you belittle my feelings like that?” He sulks.
The two of you are on the ground, ignoring the germs of the sidewalk and focusing on each other. His cheeks have become red, completely infatuated with you. All he sees in his eyes is you, and all he wants is you.
You snicker.
“What’s so funny?”
“You’re acting like a clingy child. It’s kind of adorable.”
Although ‘adorable’ was meant as a compliment, he took it as an insult. It made him think that you don’t see him as a man but as a baby brother. He’s not masculine, but an immature boy.
A little annoyed, he decides to prove to you the opposite. Out of the blue, he pins you against the wall. He corners you with his hands, his broad body hovering over you so that you can’t escape. Your smile is gone and your heart nearly stops beating.
“M-M-M-Minho?!”
He cups your chin, raising it up and forcing you to look at him in the eyes.
“Wh-what are you doing?!”
“What does it look like I’m doing?”
You push him away gently, but he refuses to move. “P-p-people might be watching…”
“Then let them look. Let the entire world be exposed to us.”
He leans over, closing his eyes and puckering his lips. Although you’re a nervous wreck, a part of you feels an odd excitement for this—like you’re doing something scandalous, but it’s thrilling at the same time. Because the media rejects you as Minho’s friend and demands that you’re nothing more than a manager, it kind of hurts you too knowing that you don’t have the freedom to choose. Due to the rejection, you had no choice but to be separated from him and the rest of the boys.
You squeeze your eyes shut, being able to feel Minho’s body heat. He’s so close to your face that you can feel his breathing—you can even smell his natural scent. You’re so nervous that you can’t hear anything else other than your racing heart that runs faster than a speeding car.
“MINHO!”
Suddenly, Minho is pulled away from you. You open your eyes and is shocked to see Chan lifting Minho up by the shirt.
“(Y/N), are you okay?? Did he hurt you??”
You’re too surprised to say anything, so you shake your head.
“Minho, if you actually hurt her then I’ll report you—”
“I’m okay, really!”
“Don’t lie to protect his butt.”
“No, no, no, it’s fine. It’s not what it seems.”
“It’s exactly what you think,” Minho interrupts. “I did what you suggested I should do, Hyung. I confronted my problem.”
You turn your head to Chan, raising an eyebrow. “What?!”
“N-not like that! He’s twisting my words.”
Minho grins like he just had a load of weight off his shoulders. You feel like you were being played, but the emotions that he was conveying before Chan’s intervention was definitely not a joke, especially with what he was about to do just seconds earlier.
“Great…” Chan sighs. “Right when the rumors were just fading, who knows what’ll happen now.”
You don’t know either. You turn to him, and he looks a little gloomy when Chan brought up the issue about rumors again. You don’t even know if anybody spotted you and him. But when you think about it, you remember what Minho said.
“Rumors don’t really matter. If people don’t like him for doing what he wants, then they’re more than welcome to ignore it.” You look over at Minho.
For once, he actually has a change of expression, looking rather surprised. You smile, making his cheeks turn red. Chan looks at you, then at Minho, then back at you, confused.
“Then, can I kiss yo—”
“Doing things to people with their consent, of course,” you bluntly state. “But I can promise you that I’ll never quit being your manager, even if my boss fires me. You can guarantee that. Then maybe…” your cheeks slowly turn red. “…We’ll finally go on the date that we promised. I-if that makes you happy…”
You’ve never seen him so genuinely happy. That beaming smile on his eye—so wide that his eyes become crescents. His endearing giggle seeping through his teeth, making your chest become fuzzy inside. Perhaps, it wasn’t so bad that the netizens caught you two together, and now, you don’t mind if they caught you two again.
“I don’t know what happened…but okay…if you say so.” Chan lets go of Minho.
Now off the grasp of Chan, he dashes toward you, hugging you so tight that you can’t breathe. He rubs his cheek against yours, unable to stop his giggling.
“That means that we can date.”
“Date?!!” You blurt.
“Okay, that’s going overboard.”
Chan carries Minho, pulling him away from you.
“Let me go! Manager said that I can do whatever I want.”
“(Y/N), sorry for disrupting your day, but it was nice seeing you. We’re really excited to work with you again.” Chan hurriedly runs off while carrying Minho away.
And just like that, Minho and Chan disappeared as fast as they appeared. You’re absolutely confused with what just happened, but despite the confusion, you’re still flustered with what Minho did. You keep thinking about how he kissed your hand and then nearly kissed you.
You cup both your cheeks, crouching down and hiding your face. Minho is definitely unpredictable, but that’s a quirk that you find charming. You can’t wait to go back to work and see him again.
[End]
A/N: Thank you for reading this! This felt really rushed, so I hope this made any sense. :\ Anyways, thanks for spending some time to read this and have a good day! :)
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the ikea guy
ikea employee!yangyang x uni student!reader | oneshot series | fluff, CRACK| 1.9 k
Fuck Kim Doyoung. Fuck his boyfriend. Fuck the weak ass tv rack you bought. Fuck the human’s Id taking control over people. Fuck humanity.
The last thing you wanted to see was your roommate and his boyfriend, who were both barely clothed by the way, trying to fix the already broken tv rack you bought 2 years ago when you moved out of the dorms to a new apartment 8 minutes away from your university. Short story short, the two men were busy doing their shit— which you honestly did not mind since you yourself bring home some guys to, you know, have fun with. But what you could not understand was why they had to do in your living room, against the tv rack. All you could remember was screaming at Doyoung, while Taeyong was there apologising, but you knew that the little devil was internally laughing, finding the entire situation hilarious. Your roommate, on the other hand, was not giving a shit about what you were saying, which was normal for the two of you. Ever since he moved in with you in your second year, both of you had an interesting relationship. Despite your arguments with one another and ‘uncaringness,’ assuming that is a word, the two of you still looked after another. A month or so ago, Doyoung kept you up all night since he was busy having a little drinking party in his room, and his friends were loud. Especially that Jaehyun guy; his laugh alone could honestly wake up the entire neighbourhood. Then again, Doyoung’s laugh is pretty ugly too considering he literally laughs like, ‘ha ha ha ha ha ha.’ I swear, you love Doyoung. Anyways, Doyoung nicely mailed all of your professors the next day that you were feeling unwell, allowing you to stay in and sleep a bit more. Except, he told you about it while you were rushing to the door to run to your lessons. You two were interesting.
Eventually, Doyoung apologised and gave you the money to purchase a better tv rack. You were expecting him to buy it for you, then again, he was Kim fucking Doyoung. He just ain’t like that. So here you were, at motherfucking Ikea. Every child’s nightmare, including yours. Your aim was to find the cheapest tv rack, yet still pretty good in quality. You were not the type to give a damn about the aesthetics and things; if it’s going to help you store your shit, that’s all you needed. Which is probably why you hated furniture shopping, you could never appreciate the so-called ‘beauty’ of it. Following the arrows printed on the grey floor, buying the tv rack was more complex than you thought. There was black, white, yellow, brown, wooden, grey— more colours than you could have ever imagined. You honestly just wanted the cheapest one at this point, forget quality. Everything else was giving you a headache. Without wanting to use more of your brain cells, perhaps for now, socialising will make it less painful, even if you really hated people as of this moment. Looking around for a person wearing the yellow and blue striped shirt with a name tag on, you eventually found the person you were looking for. Not too tall, but he wasn’t short either. Well, at least he won’t be intimidating.
‘Um, excuse me—‘
‘Ma’am the hotdogs and ice cream are available after you purchase your materials at the cashier.’
What. What the fuck?
‘What?’ The guy turned to look towards you, unamused with whatever you currently had to say. Your eyes slightly widened by his appearance, but you swear to your kneecaps if he remains to be like this, you’re going to bite.
‘You’re looking for the food right? Just pay for whatever stuff you have now and—‘
‘Why the hell would I want to buy food here, I just want to know the cheapest tv rack you have in this store’ you interrupted, not willing to hear any of his bullshit, despite him having a pretty face. Now it was his turn to be taken back by what you said. Goodness, how long has this imbecile been working here?
‘Oh um… yeah I don’t know. Maybe if you’ll look around you’ll know?’ Oh you’ve got to be kidding. Not wanting to waste more time on this pretty idiot, you looked at his name-tag to tell off to another Ikea employee. You were not having it today. See you later Yangyang.
—————————————————————————————————
Okay. Apparently people who work in this nightmare of a furniture store take their shit seriously. You just went to another person to complain about Yangyang, and here you are, at the manager’s office. Literally, what the fuck.
‘I would like to apologise on his behalf again, he’s new here. He does not know what exactly he is doing, but I can assure you the rest of the staff here are kind and willing to help. I sincerely apologise that you had to experience such unacceptable behaviour from our staff’ the manager said, bowing his head for the nth time. You honestly wanted to leave and just purchase the tv rack online; you wanted that Ikea guy to not be a dick— that’s why you complained. What you didn’t want is the poor guy to be fired from his job.
‘No, no, please don’t worry. I’m pretty sure he is a good natured person, probably just had a bad day—‘
‘No, that is utter nonsense! We will get this settled now. Please take a seat Ms. ________’ he said, moving his rather puffy face towards the black microphone, pressing the green button with his stubby fingers. Oh no.
‘Liu Yangyang please come to Mr. Park Yoobin’s office. Liu Yangyang please come to Mr. Park Yoobin’s office, now.’ What have I done.
—————————————————————————————————
You were annoyed that you put yourself into this mess. But the guy beside you, if looks could kill, you would have probably woken up in hell by now. You felt bad, you didn’t want this to happen at all. Like you said, you just complained about Yangyang being ‘not helpful’ when you asked him a question to another man that was slightly shorter than you. You expected no reaction at all, you just did it cause you were in a bad mood thanks to Doyoung and his boyfriend. That was of course, until the older man gasped loudly, shocked to hear the words that came out of your mouth. Today was a really bad day.
‘Mr. Liu, I know that this is your second week working here, but that gives no excuse to treat a lovely customer like Ms. ________ poorly. Even if you didn’t know where a certain furniture piece is, you could have made the effort to look for it with her.’ Mr. Park said, his eyebrows furrowing even more as he spoke. It was quite a funny sight from where you were sitting. Then again, this was not a funny situation, you hated every minute of it because not only is it wasting your time, but you could possibly be the reason why this Ikea guy will lose his job.
Yangyang felt pretty guilty for assuming in an instance that you were wanting to ask for food, when you actually had a pretty genuine question. He also felt useless for not helping you effectively, but he didn’t want this job at all. He wanted to work at the cafe near his university, instead of travelling for another 30 minutes just to be in the corner and see people search for furniture to build their so-called ‘dream home.’ Although he did not exactly have anything against an aesthetic appeal or such, he did judge people like that. And little did he know, so were you. Then again, he didn’t exactly care about that at this point. He wanted to stay away from you as soon as possible for putting him in such a position. He already felt bad for not helping you properly, and maybe he somewhat understood why he was sitting in the manager’s office, but literally, what the fuck.
‘Mr. Park, I honestly did not mean to show such disrespect to the customer. I do admit that I was being a know-it-all, thinking that she— what’s your name again?’ He asks me, actually talking to me for the first time since he walked into the room.
‘Um, ________—‘
‘Ms. ________ wanted to go to the food court. And as you said, I have only been here for 2 weeks. I am still unsure of where certain things are, and I perhaps should have helped Ms. ________, so yes, I do sincerely apologise.’ My, my, was he good at saying bullshit.
‘Mr. Liu I appreciate your honesty, and you should really be grateful for Ms. ________ for being so kind, wanting to make sure that nothing happens to you’ the man in front of you said, both his hands interlocking one another as he looks at his employee. And although you were looking at Mr. Park, you certainly did not miss the widening of Yangyang’s eyes. He must be thinking that I was a hypocritical psycho bitch. He isn’t wrong with that at all though.
‘Um, Mr. Park. If you really want to make it up for me, I just really need the tv rack. My roommate is paying for it, so considering that, it really urgent for me to go soon. I’m sure Yangyang was just having a bad day, so please, give the boy a second chance.’ You began packing your things, eventually standing up, not wanting to hear any more rebuttals from the Ikea manager. You had enough.
‘Ms. ________ hold on—‘ And you closed the door. Fucking rat, why couldn’t he leave me alone and deal with his employee privately?
—————————————————————————————————
You finally got the cheapest tv rack available from Ikea, completely contradicting yourself earlier when you said you would’ve rather shopped online. With the amount of cash Doyoung gave you, Ikea was probably a better choice.
‘Hey, you!’ What the fuck?
You turned around, and of course, it was the Ikea guy, but he wasn’t wearing his uniform. And he looked so much more attractive, no matter how much you didn’t want to admit it. With his dyed hair swept to the side and his oversized knit turtle neck, he looked so much… softer and calmer. Well that contrasted with his character. You crossed your arms, waiting for the man to come closer.
‘What was that about? Look, I know I didn’t help you and I do feel quite guilty about it, but was it really that necessary to—‘
‘Before you act like a dick again, I didn’t want it to happen either. I’m a petty ass person, and though it wasn’t mandatory to tell on you, which I’m sorry for by the way, you annoyed me despite how pretty you look. I’m pretty sure you still have your job, and I got my tv rack. So let’s just forget all of this happened, and move on with our petty lives— are you okay? Did I say something wrong’ Why is he looking at me like that? He just smiled at me, tilting his head slightly, and it’s making you feel warm for some reason.
‘Well since you said that we both live petty lives, and called me pretty so thank you for that, let me take this—‘ he says, tearing the tv rack box open, grabbing one of the rack’s legs, which only made you stand in complete astonishment; what the mcfucking hell was he doing? ‘—and well, somehow find me babe!’ Yangyang shouts, walking away from you quicker and quicker.
‘GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE, AND RETURN MY FUCKING LEG!’
‘By the way, I also think you look pretty!’ He’s worse than Kim Doyoung. He is actually so much worse than Kim Doyoung.
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Something Wicked
Summary: Your hunt for Halloween pajamas is fruitless, until you stumble upon a shop you’ve never seen before.
Features: Fluff; Cameo from a character from an unrelated franchise
Prompt: Halloween PJs
Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes/Reader
Notes: For Day Two of @thefanficfaerie‘s OTP challenge. This has the first of a few planned cameos of characters from other popular series because I cannot help myself. I saw an opportunity and took it.
Word Count: 1273
You smiled as you watched people pass you by. A child holding her mother’s hand as she held an ice cream cone from the ice cream shop nestled between a Journey’s and a Claire’s. Teenagers laughing as they strolled past, spending their afternoon at the mall. You had just sat down with a pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, complete with dipping sauce. You were on a mission. Not a formal mission, but a mission nonetheless.
It was growing colder and you wanted new pajamas for the season. You’d been to J.C. Penney. Went through Macy’s and Boscov’s. You found a few plain pajamas to round out your wardrobe, and some cute tops and new jeans. But you had yet to find exactly what you were looking for.
You sighed as you finished off your pretzel and your drink, ready to toss in the towel, at least where the mall was concerned, and head to a Kohl’s instead, when a little boutique caught your eye. You’d never seen it there before, and it looked like it wasn’t busy at all. The sign read Wicked Comforts and it appeared to be a clothing store. You tossed your trash as you walked toward the store.
Entering the store, you were greeted with a scent that you could only describe as purely autumn. It brought a smile to your face as you found your way to a display of pajamas. There was an array of Avengers themed pajamas, but that wasn’t what you were focused on. No. You’d found a range of pajamas that were up your alley for the Halloween season and it seemed they had your size along with Sam and Bucky’s sizes. You could see it now, cold autumn nights cuddling with them in your new pajamas, cups of Bucky’s famous hot chocolate, extra whipped cream, and maybe a splash of Baileys for good measure. A plate of Sam’s homemade chocolate chip cookies, which were the best you’d ever had. You could see it so clearly.
You headed to the counter, your arms laden with Halloween themed pajamas. You had Nightmare Before Christmas themed pjs, along with some onesies that you were excited to have. There was something so nice and cozy about them. In a pinch, they could be a lazy Halloween costume, but you knew it wasn’t going to come to that, no. You’d been planning your Halloween costumes since June. You also had the typical pajamas with images of cartoon ghosts, Jack O'Lanterns, witches, and bats on them. You had big plans for the night.
On your drive home, you stopped by Ashton’s, a local ice cream shop. You had an order to place for the next week: their pumpkin ice cream that tasted just like pumpkin pie. While you were there, you picked up some ice cream to bring home for Bucky and Sam. Chocolate Chunk for Bucky and the new test flavor for Sam, who always insisted on trying the flavor of the month when the calendar changed and Ashton’s introduced a new flavor into the rotation beyond the seasonal staples. You settled for your favorite flavor, eyeing the flavor of the month suspiciously.
The house was quiet when you walked in, your arms laden with bags from your day out. You were suspicious until you looked in the living room. Bucky and Sam were asleep on the giant sofa the three of you had, with Bucky using Sam’s lap as a pillow. What caught you off guard were the outfits the two had. Bucky wore a pair of pajama pants decorated with wolves howling at the moon, while Sam’s had cartoon bats on them. You knew they had been planning a lazy day but you had no idea they had bought Halloween themed loungewear.
You quietly put the ice cream away before bringing the rest of the bags to your bedroom. Laid out on the bed was a pajama set just for you. The pants had witches on them, with a shirt that said ‘Something wicked this way comes’. They were a mismatched set, but so perfect. You put the bags in the closet before changing. You noticed the slippers too. They had little half moons and stars on them. You slipped them on your feet and headed to check on your boys.
You snapped a photo before heading to start on dinner. You couldn’t bring yourself to wake them up. Whatever they had spent the day doing, they were clearly exhausted.
Bucky was the first to wake up, smelling the food you were making. He got up as gently as he could, as to not wake Sam, before heading into the kitchen. He smiled when he saw you in the pajamas he and Sam had ordered. He knew you probably had a stockpile ready for the three of you, but he and Sam had found some online that they couldn’t help but buy, knowing your love of all things holiday. They had a set stashed away for Christmas. He knew you’d love them, even if they were mismatched.
“Evening doll, how was your day?” Bucky asked, his voice laced with sleep. You smiled at him.
“Good, good. I placed that order at Ashton’s for Wednesday. I swear we’ll be sick of pumpkin spice by the end of it all,” you said with a light laugh.
“You, tired of pumpkin spice? Who are you and what have you done with our girlfriend?” you heard Sam ask before he yawned as he placed a kiss to Bucky’s cheek before doing the same to you as he entered the kitchen to grab a glass of water.
“With how much of it we’ll be consuming? Even I have my limits,” you said. Bucky and Sam shared a look, before choosing not to comment.
“How do you like your new pajamas?” Sam asked.
“They’re comfortable. Thank you,” you said.
“Did you buy those slippers?” Bucky asked. You looked at him in confusion.
“No...I thought you did? They were with the pajamas,” you said, your brow furrowed. The three of you shared a look of alarm. A check of the security system showed nothing. You had no cameras in the bedroom, but all the access points had cameras trained on them.
When you returned to your room, you found a piece of what appeared to be parchment, with the words ‘enjoy your gift - L.L..’ written on it.
“Do we report this or?” Sam asked trailing off.
“It seems safe enough. These are the most comfortable slippers I’ve ever had. I swear it’s like I’m walking on air,” you said. The three of you agreed not to report it, at least not yet. After all, there had to be some kind of reasonable explanation.
“Maybe they fell out of your bag? You said a woman owned the store you were at, maybe she gave you a gift as a first time customer,” Bucky said.
“Yeah, maybe,” you said. The three of you were uneasy, but you knew you were as safe as you could be. A check of the house turned up nothing and Friday hadn’t sensed any presence from another entity at all.
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Across town, Luna Lovegood smiled to herself as she closed shop for the day. She really would have to thank Hermione for her help with the enchantments on the shop that allowed muggles and wizardkind alike to find it when they needed it most.
“Oh I do hope she likes my gift,” Luna said as she headed home, a soft smile on her face. If anyone deserved a small comfort, it was an Avenger, she thought to herself.
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How to Break, part 2
This is part 2 of How to Break, it’s not nearly as angsty since the story will be more about healing than anything from this chapter forwards. Thank you so much for even considering reading this and please leave feedback!
A few months had passed since your break-up with Jay, the sudden discovery causing you to move out the day after you had found out. Your friends had quickly become your support system in Jay’s absence, helping you hunt for an apartment whenever they got a chance. You had packed up only what you needed on the evening of the discovery, taking a taxi and showing up at Chaerin’s house.
She had taken a look at your expression and invited you in, seeing your puffy eyes and recognizing that something was wrong after five years of friendship. She felt angry from the first moment that you had told her the reason for your break-up with Jay, his clear rejection of your pregnancy making her even more upset.
Youngwoo had come over on his motorcycle quickly once Chaerin called him, anger obvious in her tone and your sobs in the background of the call all the while. He was as enraged as Chaerin, but while her anger was easily vented verbally, his was more a primal rage. His fists had clenched, the tall and muscular man protective over his friends despite his intimidating stature.
It had, in fact, been Youngwoo and a few of his dancer friends who went to the apartment a few days later, gathering the things you had left behind and listed for them to pick up. He had run into Jay while his friends had scattered, quickly collecting the things you had left behind and closing the door, leaving Youngwoo and Jay alone.
“How’s she doing?” Jay hesitantly asks, wincing at the cold look he receives from the other man who was once his friend and now appears as his enemy.
A chill runs down Jay’s spine as Youngwoo gazes at him, a predator who obviously considers him prey. “Oh,” Youngwoo speaks, deep voice rasping, “now you care about how she is? Interesting.” Jay seems to withdraw into himself as Youngwoo stares at him.
“W-well, after how everything…happened…the other day,” Jay begins hesitantly, nervous as the other man raises an eyebrow at him.
“‘Everything happened’, you say? Are you referring to the knowledge of her pregnancy or the fact that she caught you with another woman?” Youngwoo questions, his gaze turning to anger as he stares at the person who had broken his beautiful friend, the woman he thinks of as his sister, without a second glance. “The only reason you’re not lying unconscious on your lovely wood floors,” he purrs smoothly, “is because the woman you harmed warned me off of my prior plan. Luckily for you, I’ve chosen to respect her opinion in this matter.”
Youngwoo seems to stalk towards the door, pausing by Jay to turn to him with an icy look, “I won’t tell you to stay away from her, since you know that well enough. Just be aware that my lawyers will contact you soon to arrange for you to sign away your parental rights.” Youngwoo continues moving past Jay, quietly walking out of the apartment door and closing it behind him.
With the closing of the apartment door came a finality, leaving Jay alone in the quiet, clean apartment. Even while the sun still shines on him, he can’t help but to wonder why he feels so cold.
A few days had passed and you were now the proud occupant of a three bedroom apartment, certainly a downgrade from your former apartment that you had shared with Jay for over a year but so full of life already. You now had flower pots decorating the place, the sweet scent of fresh flowers filling the air and making the small apartment seem brighter.
“Thank you,” you say as Chaerin places a bowl of food in front of you, gladly digging into the meal with a happy smile.
Your friends had been almost hovering in their protectiveness, your true friends having been revealed in the course of the ugly split between you and Jay. Chaerin and Youngwoo had quickly shown themselves to be loyal to you, unable to look at Jay with anything other than disgust at his actions.
In the past five months you had grown under their watchful eyes, the beautiful woman and handsome man had looked forward to spoiling their new niece or nephew from the first moment that they knew about your pregnancy. Both of their artistic skills had come to life with the new possibilities of the apartment you had rented, its cream colored walls calling to them as they bought brightly colored paint and painted designs around the place and making it feel more alive.
The small apartment was brightly lit, the three bedrooms were the size of a shoebox, but it was perfect for you, your baby, and a guest room for your friends to stay in. As the months creep by you can feel yourself becoming more excited, buying new clothes with Chaerin and watching as Youngwoo assembles a crib he had found online for you. Both of your friends were incredibly excited about the baby, happy to be there for every moment of your pregnancy.
Although you have been blissfully happy with the way things have been going for you during your pregnancy, you still feel Jay’s absence keenly. Even though you wish to cast him out of your mind and memories, Jay was weaved into the fabric of your heart surely over the course of two years. You know that he will never be around to feel your baby kick inside of your womb, he will never be at the birth, and he will never sign the birth certificate.
You know the facts, but still your scarred heart aches for Jay, the man who helped to conceive your little jellybean despite his rejection of you both. You are now heavily pregnant at seven months along, thankfully able to stop working due to Jay’s money that he had given you as a settlement when he had officially signed his parental rights away two months ago.
At the meeting, lawyers and Chaerin surrounding you, you had faced him and been shocked at how much the man you once loved had changed. He had faced you and, although tinged with sadness, his gaze was as cold as ice. The only time he had let down his guard was when you had stood next to him to walk out of the room, the documents signed quickly in order to cause the least amount of stress possible to you and the baby. You had stumbled into him on accident with your sudden dizzy spell, recovering as quickly as possible before leaning on Chaerin instead.
You were wearing a flowing dress that emphasized your belly, since pants were uncomfortable to you beforehand and it was now easier to just throw on a dress every morning and call it a day. He had only conveyed a small amount of worry as you leaned on Chaerin before letting the emotionless mask he had worn the entire meeting fall back into place after you quickly apologized.
And then you watched him move away from you, surrounded by lawyers that seemed to haunt his every step as you were left with Chaerin. She wrapped an arm around your waist, silently supporting you as you falter for a moment and you simply stand there, the image of his flawless face etching itself into your memories against your will.
You gather yourself, a bitter smile settling onto your face as you take Chaerin’s hand in yours and squeeze affectionately. “I’ll be fine, let’s head out,” you say before moving towards the elevator.
The rest of the way home feels like you’re walking through a dream, the world seeming hazey and distant, time passing by in a second and an hour in the same instance. Before you knew it you were home, a concerned Youngwoo helped you out of the car as Chaerin gathered the paperwork from earlier.
You had walked into your apartment and had felt your blood run cold at the sight of the check that Jay had given you as reparation, enough to support both you and your baby for the rest of your life. You simply broke at the sight of the note attached to the check, “I’m sorry,” it reads, the familiar handwriting seeming so foreign after months apart.
Every day after that final meeting with Jay you have grown stronger, resolve strengthening with the help of Youngwoo and Chaerin by your side. They helped to break you out of your daze, your focus now directed towards the child that grows within you, choosing to leave the thoughts of the man who abandoned you and your baby in your old apartment. You had chosen to be surprised at the birth by your baby’s gender, having already decided that your baby would take your own last name instead of Jay’s, and you know that Youngwoo and Chaerin will be in the delivery room with you instead of him.
You had also decided to have a small, private baby shower with some friends of yours, the email invitation was automatically sent to everyone on your contact list that you hadn’t bothered to update since the break-up between you and Jay. It had been five months and since then the thought had been left in the wake of the chaos of preparations for your new baby, you had eventually forgotten completely.
You just never realized how much your world would be shaken up because of it.
Back Forth
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Skattsvik Development Group - review
Yesterday I went to see Skattsvik Development Group. It was pretty great!
It’s less of an actual play per se and more of an artfully presented, frank account of an act of performance art: these five guys taking their paychecks for the production (standard monthly pay for artists in Iceland, times five) and attempting to hide it from the tax man using the sorts of schemes used by shady millionaires. The outcome is satirical, educational and often just plain hilarious.
Before the show even starts, in the stairwell leading to the small room where the performance took place, they’ve hung up a bunch of the actual documents that they prepared for all this; I took a couple of pictures that I included below.
The guys start by introducing themselves; none of them know all that much about money or taxation, but one does really enjoy making spreadsheets in Excel. Matthías in particular talks about how in doing this he discovered there are a lot of polite, helpful people out there willing to assist you with this sort of thing; one way or another, everyone believes in what they do.
They explain the basic idea of the scheme, as seen in the video I translated the other day: living in country A with a ~40% tax rate, you want to pay ~0% taxes on it, like in country C. Preferably, though, you’d need a double taxation agreement between the countries, which may not exist - so instead you need a country B, with maybe a ~20% tax rate, that has double taxation agreements with both A and C. Then, once the money is in country C, you get an anonymous credit card from the bank in country C, bring it to country A, and withdraw money from the card using an ATM (discreetly, so that you personally can’t be connected to the account).
Two of them go over the various options that they had for countries B and C on a slideshow while the other three dance behind glass. Cyprus sounded great, and they got an offer from a company in Cyprus that handles this sort of thing... only for them to calculate (in an Excel spreadsheet, of course) that setting it up would cost more than the taxes they would’ve paid on their paychecks in the first place. (The total amount they’re paid isn’t that much money, all considered - some ~2 million ISK. Convert to your currency of choice.)
Just the slideshow going over the options is revealing (and delightfully sarcastic). Dubai is amazing; you don’t pay taxes on anything except oil or banking... but you have to actually relocate to Dubai, and they just didn’t have time or money for that. Other places you don’t have to live there but you do have to show up in person to found the accounts and they had to rule it out. They ended up settling on Ireland as a country B and Panama as country C - Ireland has a double taxation agreement with both Iceland and Panama.
Then they go over the process of founding an Irish company. Luckily, there’s a company in Ireland called “Sigtax” that’s all about helping foreigners get through the legal hurdles of founding a company in Ireland, complete with microscopically detailed instructions on exactly how to fill out all the various forms. You have to submit CVs for the founders; the guys worried surely their CVs as random Icelandic artists would set off some alarm bells when they suddenly want to found an Irish IP consultancy company, but luckily Sigtax included CV templates suggesting useful terms to use, such as “entrepreneur”. (Matthías added “positive attitude” under his skills, not because it was on the template but because it’s true.)
Also, you’re supposed to explain the structure of the company, with Sigtax helpfully noting that you can draw it; Matthías filled it in like this:
Possibly the high point of the show is the thoroughly photographically documented day that they mailed out the documents to their contact at Sigtax, where they have various misadventures, as they think there’s a post office in the mall where the theater is, only to discover there isn’t one, get some ice cream for their trouble, stop for some kids who want selfies (presumably having recognized Matthías despite the suit; it was Ash Wednesday, which is the day Icelandic kids dress up in costumes, and they mentioned feeling it was appropriate that they were wearing costumes too), head to the actual post office, buy an envelope and seal it only to discover you can’t send courier mail through the regular post office, so they have to go to DHL instead, only when they get there that’s only an office and not an actual DHL location, so they have to take yet another trip.
Once they’ve mailed the documents, they wait for an answer, only to be told that they’ve been rejected... because they can’t have “Group” in the company name when it’s not an actual group of companies. Sigtax suggests “Skattsvik Development Limited” instead. They do that and mail the documents again; this time it’s fine. They officially own an Irish company.
Following this, they manage to buy a shell company in Panama as well, through another company specializing in this sort of thing. They offer a list of pre-established companies you can buy (defunct ones that they bought); it costs extra to change the name of the company, so they bought “Eldest Fire, Ltd.”, which is just extremely metal.
Unfortunately, though, founding an actual bank account in Panama is a bit more difficult. The company they bought Eldest Fire from does have a bank they work with, but something goes wrong there - it’d take more time than they had, or they needed more money in the account than they had, or something (I can’t recall exactly what it was). In the meantime, they’re trying to found an Irish bank account with the Bank of Ireland, but to do that they need to prove that they’re, you know, an actual company operating in Ireland and not some Icelanders’ tax haven shelf company. Luckily there is also a company that will assist you with that! So they get a physical address in Ireland, some random building, and even a landline phone that just forwards everything to one of their Icelandic mobile phones, providing them with a utility bill (meant to be provided as proof that they really are operating an actual business at this address). Even then, though, they’re informed they have to show up in person to open an account - so they instead try to get an account with Fire.com, an online bank, which would not require that. They, too, want proof that they have a legit business - and ask for a website to show this. The guys quickly set one up with a Wix template, very professional-looking apart from the big Wix banner at the top... but unfortunately Fire.com does not take the bait.
That’s when another bank gets in touch with them, though, one with branches in both Ireland and Panama. This bank insists on a video chat, so the guys raid the theater’s prop department for anything they can think of that’d be at an office (printer, table fan, half-full bottle of Coke, potted plant...), dress up in their suits again, project a Reykjavík skyline onto the wall... and talk to the guy.
The bank guy seems noticeably a little awkward after they tell him very frankly that the point of this exercise is to avoid paying high taxes - but he still advises them, and explains what they’ve got set up is actually unworkable (largely because they used their actual real names to found the Irish company), but they can totally make it work legally by going through the US instead. The guy wants to meet up in London to continue making arrangements, and suggests a date after the slated premiere of the show - but even here they’re going to need a lot more money.
In the end, then, they don’t actually manage to complete the scheme, but there’s every indication they totally could have if they weren’t trying to do this with the paltry amount paid to five guys putting together a play in four weeks. Matthías also ventured to ask the guy, at the end of the chat, just how much money is being handled this way, and he answered that 70% of the world’s capital is held in offshore accounts.
There was a Q&A afterwards, where I asked how they responded to the guy about the London meeting. They hadn’t; “We just ghosted him.” They also added that any further meetings or video chats with him would’ve been several hundred pounds per hour. My husband also asked what would’ve happened if they had successfully pulled it off - to which Matthías explained that they talked to a couple of lawyers, including his father, and this performance would not constitute legally valid evidence of tax evasion, because it’s a play. It’s not tax evasion if it’s for the art.
Overall, I learned a lot about the particular shameless absurdities of global capitalism, and had a thoroughly good time in the process - and so did my husband, who was initially very ehhh about coming along. Definitely recommended... although I don’t expect most of you guys are in any position to see the final performance tonight.
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Digital Paradise | Read on ao3
Read part one | Ao3, tumblr.
Alec knew his boyfriend made music. He just didn’t know other people knew Magnus made music.
Or, how Alec Lightwood finally figured out that his boyfriend is famous and how he started a storm on twitter in the process.
In hindsight, Magnus being famous made a lot of sense.
Magnus and Alec didn’t really go out for dates. The couple of times they had, Magnus had taken Alec to a fancy restaurant where he’d made reservations beforehand. They were always sat somewhere in the back, somewhere private. At the time, Alec had just thought Magnus was trying to impress him. He’d also thought maybe Magnus was hoping they’d get up to something in the back of the restaurant but Alec wasn’t comfortable enough kissing in public to ever make a move.
He was happy he hadn’t now. He doubted Magnus would have been upset but Alec would have been a little embarrassed knowing that wasn’t what he had been trying to insinuate with the private location. They also didn’t go out in public much at all, even for simple things. When they went to get coffee in the morning, Alec would run in alone or they’d go to the drive through.
Alec had written that off as Magnus not wanting to get dressed in the morning. Which was fair but it was other things too. Magnus didn’t go grocery shopping with him. The one time he had, it had been so late and he kept his sunglasses on the whole time they were inside. Alec thought it was weird but still, he hadn’t asked.
It wasn’t that Magnus had been lying to him or trying to hide anything. Alec had just been so oblivious. Magnus even told him once when Alec asked why he didn’t want to come inside when they were ordering food. He said, ‘I don’t want anyone to recognize me right now.’
That should have been the day Alec put it together. That should have been the day he realized Magnus was famous and asked more questions. Instead, Alec had thought maybe he knew someone who worked inside. Maybe an ex, he remembered assuming. He hadn’t wanted to press for more details. He just went and got their food.
Now, Magnus wasn’t innocent either. Magnus admitted that he knew Alec didn’t understand how famous he was and he’d never gone out of his way to try and explain it. Weeks after Alec had outed them on twitter, they sat curled together getting drunk off wine while Magnus explained, laughing, ‘I just thought you didn’t understand how famous I was. I didn’t realize you didn’t know I was famous at all.’
Magnus insisted he’d have explained it to him, had he known. It was a big decision, deciding to be public with someone who was as famous as Magnus was and Alec had made that decision completely unknowingly. Alec’s life was different now, just because he was Magnus’ partner.
Magnus had been scared he would regret it but Alec never did. It was nice to understand Magnus’ life more and it was kind of nice that so many people Alec didn’t know knew he was Magnus’ boyfriend. Even if Alec was never remembered as anything else, ‘Magnus’ boyfriend’ wasn’t a bad thing to be known for.
For a while, Alec’s interaction with Magnus’ fame had been limited to online. Alec used twitter now, or he tried to remember to. He had never been great with social media but he posted pictures of his cat sometimes. He posted one of Magnus and Church, which everyone had really liked. He also asked questions about internet things he didn’t understand. All of Magnus’ fans were more than willing to explain stuff to him.
Then, Magnus’ fans had bled into Alec’s real life. The first time it happened, Alec had been running to the store for Izzy. It was late. Alec had been working all day. It was one of the rare days where he hadn’t gotten dressed and straightened out his hair before he went to his desk.
In other words, Alec didn’t look too hot when he ran into the store. His hair was a mess. He’d thrown on pants but he was wearing a loose almost dirty t-shirt. He’d just been running in because Izzy asked him to buy her some tampons.
He hadn’t expected anyone to recognize him at the store. So, of course someone had. He’d been cradling a box of tampons, a pint of ice cream, a bag of jelly beans and a little chocolate rose Alec had found when suddenly, someone next to him had almost screeched.
“You’re Magnus Bane’s boyfriend!”
Alec had spun and the look on his face was so bewildered that the person who’d spoken, a girl about Izzy’s age, looked a little apologetic.
“Sorry!” She continued, pulling out her phone as she kept speaking. “I’m just a huge fan of Magnus. You guys are so sweet.” She held up her phone questioningly and Alec blinked at it, not understanding what she was possibly indicating. “Could I have a picture?” She asked finally.
Oh. For a moment, Alec was still confused. He understood that Magnus was famous. He got why people would want to take photos with him but he was no one. He was just Magnus’ boyfriend. Why would anyone want to take a photo with him? “Okay.” Alec said, frowning a little.
The girl was clearly put off by Alec’s expression. He was about to reassure her again that it was okay if she really wanted a picture but she lowered her phone a little and then spoke less excitedly. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.” She said rather politely.
“No.” Alec shook his head, his eyes widening a little. “I’ve just-” Alec fumbled with his words for a second, shifting the stuff he was holding in his hands so he wouldn't drop them. The last thing he needed was tampons covering the floor. “No one had ever asked me that before.” He explained finally, attempting a smile that probably came off a little more chaotic than he had planned.
This time, it was the girls turn to look surprised. “Oh.” Her expression brightened into a smile once again as she laughed. “Well, I’m honored to be the first to ask.”
Alec practically sighed with relief as she spoke. He hadn’t upset her.
Before Alec could even contemplate how he must look right now, she held up her phone, giving Alec just enough time to try to smile before she took the picture, thanked him and darted away. Alec found himself left standing in the center of the isle, still clutching all his things.
Alec raced to check out. He jittered in line until he could put all his stuff down, ask the clerk how she was, pay and then race outside. The second he reached his car, he tossed his stuff into the passenger’s seat and he called Magnus.
Magnus was away (working on a new album, Alec now understood). Alec had told him before he’d gone in the store that he’d call him when he got home, so when Magnus answered he was understandably a little caught off guard.
“Hello, Darling.” He’d cooed in that tone that normally made Alec feel like he was melting inside. “You’re home already?”
“No, I’m in my car.” Alec spit out and before Magnus could process that sentence, he kept speaking. “I met someone in the store who likes you. I was shopping for Izzy and I was holding a bunch of stuff. I didn’t do my hair today and I didn’t change my shirt. You’d have hated the shirt I was wearing.” He was pretty sure Magnus had said so the last time he’d seen him wearing it and that was before it was due for a wash. “Then this girl asked if she could take a picture with me and I think I upset her for a second but then she took the picture and she seemed happy and she ran away.” Alec took a deep breath he didn’t realize he hadn’t paused to take the whole time he’d been rambling.
On the other end of the line, Magnus also stayed silent as he assumably tried to process everything Alec had said. “Okay…” He said slowly. “So, you met a fan and took a picture?” He summarized.
“Yes.”
“And this…” Magnus trailed off for a second as he audibly tried to piece together Alec’s frantic nature. “-this upset you?” He questioned finally.
“No.” Alec exclaimed instantly. After he said it, he paused and questioned himself. “Well, if I had known someone would want to take a picture with me I’d have tried to look better. I was holding a bunch of stuff and I was dirty and my hair wasn’t done-”
On the other end of the phone, Alec heard Magnus laugh. “Darling, your bedhead is a sight to behold. I’m sure you looked absolutely adorable.”
Alone in his car, Alec blushed. Quietly, he asked. “You’re not upset I made you look bad?”
Magnus’ answer was instant. “Of course not.”
Alec took another grounding breath and all at once, he felt better. “Okay…” Peering around his car, Alec caught sight of the pint of ice cream that was probably completely melted in the New York summer heat. “Oh god, I forgot I bought Izzy ice cream. I have to go.”
“Alright.” Magnus responded, sounding as relieved as Alec did that he was no longer stressed out about this. “Get Izzy her ice cream. Call me when you get home.”
Alec sat the ice cream up, hoping nothing would leak out onto his seats. He turned his car on and cranked the AC before he reached to end the call. “I will. I-” Alec cut himself off before he kept speaking, realizing last second that he almost said something that he’d only thought in his head before. “I miss you.” He amended. “I'll call you soon.”
Alec hung up before Magnus could respond and then he groaned. It was far too earlier for him to almost slip up and say something like that to Magnus. Far far too early. Alec put his car into drive and started heading towards Izzy’s, gnawing at his lip all the while.
“You almost said you love him?” Izzy asked with wide eyes. She was sitting up on the couch, eating the mostly melted pint of ice cream while Alec tried to melt into the chair he was in. “Alec!”
“I know!” Alec groaned and buried his face in his hands.
“How long have you been dating?” She asked, even though Alec knew she knew the answer. She was far too invested in Alec’s love life to not remember how long they had been together.
“Three months.” Alec mumbled anyway.
“Alec!” She snapped again. “Oh god, you’re going to be one of those guys to say it for the first time during sex.”
“I am not!” Alec rebutted instantly even though he wasn’t quite sure it was true. Now that he had almost said it once, he was scared when it would try to slip out next. “I wouldn't want to say it then! He’d think I only said it because we were having sex.”
“You almost said it because you were distracted that a fan spoke to you.”
Groaning louder, Alec sunk a little further in his seat until he was almost comically sprawled over. “I know. I’m screwed. I’m going to say it and I’m going to scare him off.”
Izzy thought about it for a moment as she ate the ice cream soup Alec had bought. “Well-” She said, gesturing with her spoon. “He has to feel strongly about you to be okay with everyone knowing you’re dating. That’s a big deal, Alec. If he didn’t think he was going to stay with you, he probably would have been upset when everyone found out.”
That was true but Izzy was forgetting that Magnus hadn’t decided to tell everyone about them. “I did that though.” Alec insisted instantly. “It was too late to take it back when Magnus found out. I had already posted it. I didn’t even ask him-”
“You didn’t know.” Izzy pointed out calmly.
Alec ignored her. “Maybe he was upset about it and he just didn’t say.”
“Magnus did choose to retweet it and tell everyone it was true. He could have retweeted it and just said you were some random guy, if he really wanted to.”
Frowning, Alec nodded. “Yeah, I guess. That doesn’t mean he’s ready for me to tell him I love him.”
“So…” Alec could hear the smile in Izzy’s tone before she even finished her sentence. “You meant it? You love him?”
Groaning, Alec stood up. “I told Magnus I’d call him when I got home. I have to go.” He said quickly, not meeting her eyes as he snatched his jacket up and started moving towards the door.
“Right.” She said, mockingly. “Just don't tell him that you love him.”
“Yes, thank you for the reminder Izzy.” Alec mumbled as he shoved her front door open and walked through it. He was such a good brother. He went to the store for Izzy. He got her whatever he wanted and all he got in return was mocked.
“Thank you big brother!” She yelled after the closing door.
Alec did not say ‘you’re welcome’ but then in the car, he felt a little bad. ‘I’ll call you later.’ He texted her. ‘Sorry the ice cream was melted.’
He also noticed that he had a notification from Magnus. Izzy had shown Alec how to manage his notifications, so he wasn’t overwhelmed with everyone and he could just focus on the ones that mattered- aka, the ones from Magnus.
‘I knew you looked adorable.’ Magnus had written above the photo of Alec and the girl that had somehow made it onto twitter and already gotten a lot of attention in such a short amount of time. Alec looked down to the photo and grimaced. He looked less than adorable but he scrolled up and read Magnus’ words again instead of looking at the photo any longer.
As long as Magnus somehow thought he was cute, that was all that mattered. Alec hearted it.
For a couple of days, it seemed like all was well. Alec didn’t slip up and tell Magnus he loved him, even though he was exceptionally worried about it. Magnus had been away all week though. The real test would be that night, when Magnus was coming back to New York and more specifically, coming back to Alec’s apartment.
If there was anytime Alec would slip up and say it, it would be to Magnus’ face. It was hard to think straight around Magnus, let alone try to censor any thoughts that tried to come out of his mouth. Alec had said such stupid things to Magnus before. ‘I love your face.’ He’d said once because obviously that was smooth as hell.
A couple of hours before Magnus was due to land, Alec distracted himself by making dinner. There was never a more romantic time to accidentally and completely inappropriately blurt out ‘I love you’ then over a homemade dinner. At least maybe Magnus would be distracted by the good food.
That was Alec’s thought but then he overcooked the chicken, so the only thing Magnus would be distracted by was the bad homemade food.
Alec had timed it so that dinner would be done right around when Magnus would be getting there but then, Magnus’ flight was delayed so Alec had an hour to kill while his overcooked chicken got cold. Reasonably, he decided to go through his twitter notifications.
He got so many that he couldn’t go through and talk to everyone but he tried, especially if someone in particular was being really nice. He felt bad ignoring people even though Magnus told him he didn’t have to.
Alec went through and hearted a few comments people had left on his last post and then, his eyes started to catch something else he was being tagged in. Alec frowned before he clicked on one of the notifications randomly. Instantly, he was greeted with that horrible photo of himself that Magnus had thought was ‘adorable’.
Alec scrolled until he could see all the replies people had left on it. Instantly, Alec was frowning a little deeper. There were normal comments, some talking about Alec’s messy hair and how sweet he looked (none about his shirt, thankfully) but then, Alec noticed that there were a lot of comments about what he was holding.
The tampons, the ice cream, the candy and the chocolate rose he’d got Izzy. Alec hasn’t had a place to put them down or time to really think about if he should. The girl had just asked for a photo and she’d taken it. Alec had been more concerned with his appearance than what he was buying but now, as Alec read what people were saying, he realized for the first time that it did look a little odd.
Magnus’ fans knew he was away for the week. He’d been posting about it and putting videos on snapchat (another app Alec hadn’t even attempted to use). It was also clear Alec had not gone with him. So, for a photo to surface of Alec holding rather… feminine supplies along with a romantic looking chocolate rose.
Alec groaned loudly. Of course, it looked like Alec had been going to see a woman. He had been but that woman had been his sister. Magnus’ fans clearly didn’t know that. Alec was aggravated at first but as he kept reading through the comments, his aggravated bled into something else.
Before Alec knew it, he had frustrated tears in his eyes. He and Magnus had been dating for nearly three months. Alec had only been publicly dating Magnus for a little over a month and already, he’d messed up. Already, he’d made trouble.
Alec knew Magnus wouldn’t actually think he was going to see some mystery woman. Magnus knew he was buying all that for Izzy but Magnus’ fans still thought he hadn’t been. Magnus’ fans still saw that photo and thought Alec had been sneaking around Magnus’ back, only to be caught when someone happened to recognize him and ask for a photo.
Some people had even started commenting on all those crying faces they normally put when Alec did something nice (Magnus said they were nice crying because Alec was sweet. Alec didn't get it), lamenting on how they had thought Alec was so nice. Key word, thought.
By the time Magnus’ flight landed and he texted Alec that he was on the way, Alec was brushing away tears as he texted him back.
Alec didn’t cry easily. He wasn’t a baby. He wasn’t exceptionally emotional either but the thought of all of Magnus’ fans thinking he’d cheat on Magnus broke his heart. He’d never cheat on Magnus and to even think people would think he would-
Alec brushed another stray tear aside. It wasn’t good for Magnus either, for everyone to think his boyfriend was an asshole. He was probably getting so many messages about it. Everyone was going to focus on that and not on the music Magnus was making. He was probably going to lose money.
Alec’s plan had been to compose himself before Magnus got there but he’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed how much time had gone by until he heard the knock on his door. Alec shoved his phone into his pocket and tried frantically to brush his tears away before he darted towards the door.
He might have taken a second to try to compose himself a little further, if he realized quite how bad he looked but the only thing he’d been thinking about was that he couldn’t make Magnus wait in the hallway after an eight hour flight.
Alec pulled the door open and tried to smile at the sight of his boyfriend on the other side.
Magnus was grinning. He darted forward before he really seemed to take in Alec’s face and wrapped his arms around his neck as he dropped his bags. “Alexander.”
Alec melted into the touch instantly. A soft sigh left his lips and he tilted his head into the curve of Magnus’ neck. “Hey.” He murmured, trying to sound a little more casual than he felt.
It was either his weak ‘hey’ or the fact that Alec didn’t let go to let Magnus come inside that seemed to tip Magnus off that something was wrong. Magnus hugged him a little tighter and Alec felt one of his hands gently rub his back. “Is something wrong?” Magnus asked, finally pulling away to look at Alec’s face.
Alec wasn’t crying anymore but when Magnus asked, Alec’s face crumpled. “No, I just-” Alec moved quickly, hoping maybe Magnus wouldn’t see the look on his face. It was obvious Magnus had. “Come inside, let me get your bags.” Alec said, already turning to grab them.
Magnus stepped inside and let Alec grab his bags without a word but Alec could tell by the way that Magnus hovered there that he hadn’t bought Alec’s casual facade.
Alec moved and put his bags inside before closing the door. He faced the doorway for a few moments longer then was probably normal, hoping he could somehow get his expression under control.
“What’s wrong, Alec?” Magnus asked, moving to touch Alec’s back again. Magnus knew Alec loved it when Magnus touched his back.
“People think I cheated on you.” Alec blurted out without turning. “-because of what I was holding in that photo with that girl. They think I’m cheating on you and that I was going to see someone.” His voice was riddled with guilt as he spoke and he sounded like he was on the verge of tears again.
Instantly, Magnus chuckled. It was a soft sound, like he was trying to stifle it and be respectful of Alec’s feelings but it was a chuckle nonetheless. “That’s what you’re all upset about?” He asked, moving forward to wrap his arms completely around Alec’s waist and nuzzle into the side of his neck.
Alec took in a deep shaky breath, almost sighing at the scent of Magnus’ cologne.
“People are always going to assume a lot of things.” Magnus murmured against Alec’s neck. “That’s just what happens when you’re in the public eye. I posted a photo a few months ago and I was wearing red lipstick, so everyone assumed Camille and I were back together.” Magnus pressed a quick abrupt kiss against Alec’s neck. “People assume things all the time. It’s just what happens.”
Magnus pulled away and grabbed Alec’s arm to spin him, so they were facing each other again. “Now, why did that upset you so much?” He asked, moving to kiss Alec on the tip of his nose.
Alec wanted a real kiss but Magnus seemed to want an answer before he’d be willing to give it to him. “I just don’t like people thinking I’d do that to you.” Alec said finally, clutching Magnus’ hand as he looked down to the floor. “I don’t like upsetting the people that like you and support you.”
Magnus hummed and raised an eyebrow. “Would it make you feel better if I posted something and explained you were going to see your sister?”
Slowly, Alec nodded. “I guess so.”
“Okay then.” Magnus smiled like everything was okay again and Alec supposed it almost was. Finally, Magnus moved forward to kiss him and when he pulled away, he pressed his hand against the side of Alec’s face, cupping his smile. “Feel better now?”
Alec nodded, a little embarrassed now that he’d been upset at all.
“Good.” Magnus let go of him and moved to kick off his shoes and shrug off his jacket. “Whatever you made smells heavenly.” He said, instantly moving towards the kitchen.
“I overcooked the chicken.” Alec said, following after him. He was less upset about his poor job cooking of the chicken too. It was just easier to be less upset about stuff when Magnus was around.
“I’m sure it’s far better than what I ate on the plane.” Magnus said, already moving to lift the pan cover and snatch a piece of chicken out of it to put in his mouth. Instantly, he moaned like it was the most heavenly thing he’d ever put in his mouth.
Alec rolled his eyes. He knew it wasn’t that good and it was lukewarm by now anyway. “You’re being dramatic.” He accused him as he moved to heat it up again.
“I’m never dramatic about your cooking.” Magnus responded instantly.
Alec smiled wordlessly, leaving the pan on the stove to warm up as he turned to watch his boyfriend. Magnus moved and settled at the kitchen counter, leaning over on his hands as he stared back at him. “We could eat it cold, you know. I wouldn’t mind.”
Instantly, Alec’s face scrunched up. “I would mind.”
This time, it was Magnus’ turn to roll his eyes.
Alec wasn’t exactly sure why he decided it was okay in that moment. It was like the people on twitter or the food he’d overcooked. When Magnus wasn’t around, it was easy to over think everything until he drove himself insane but when Magnus was there, it was like everything was so much simpler. Everything just felt right.
“I love you.” He said simply, like it hadn’t been an internal struggle for days not to accidentally say it to him.
Magnus blinked. It seemed like it took him a moment to even process what Alec said but when he did, he looked shocked.
It wasn’t really the best time for Alec to say it for the first time. He could have chosen a time that was a little more romantic but it just felt right to say it now and Alec didn’t even regret it. It was true. Why shouldn’t he say it?
“I love you too.” Magnus said finally.
They stared at each other for a long tender moment before Alec smiled. “Good.” He said, nodding to himself as it would cover his stupid happy grin. Alec turned to stir the food so it wouldn’t burn but he knew that behind him, Magnus was grinning too.
“I’ll get the plates.” Magnus said after a moment had passed and then Alec heard him moving to pull the plates out. He didn’t even have to ask where they were. He knew by now.
Alec wondered for a moment how it would work, if they decided to move in together. He wondered if they’d find someplace new. Alec thought his apartment might be a little too small for both of them and Magnus’ penthouse was never really a comfortable space for either of them. It was pre-decorate, very nice and fancy admittedly but nothing like a home. He wondered if Magnus would even want to move in with him and then, he chastised himself.
He shouldn't be thinking about it right now. He didn’t want Magnus to think he was moving too fast.
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