#c movies: kraven

[peachyspaceslvt]

AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON as KRAVEN THE HUNTER

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2023 Part 1

Hello all you happy people! It's now 2024, and with 2023 behind us it's time for my faviorite yearly thing on this blog: my top 20 episodes of the year list!

For those of you new to this tradition or needing a refresher, each year I take 5 episodes each (or less if the show had less), from the various shows I watched that year, and then slowly wittle it down from a massive pile to the 20 best, split into two digestible parts, and let you all enjoy the results. It's one of my favorite things as it gives a nice, personal, wide berth of what happened in that year, gives this blog something unique to do, and allows me to touch on shows I haven't covered yet or may simply not get to for some time, if ever.

2023 was a mixed bag for me, both professionally and personally: It started.. with a kick in the teeth as my cat Stewie died after living a long, fufilling life of looking mildly pissed at everything but still being cute.

He was a good cat and his loss is something I still haven't fully gotten over a year later.

It was a harbringer of change: with Stewie's death we finally moved out of the house I lived in pretty much my whole life, and into a smaller, nicer and far better apartment with my own mini office in my room even and all my children/books/children returned to me. It's taken 6 months but I feel like i've fully settled into my new, wonderful home.

And towards the end of this year as the loss of Stewie still stung all this time later, I got another great change with the addition of Maddie

Maddie was the dog of a close friend of the family who had to go into a retirement home. She needed a home, and now has one in my room looking morose, licking my face and occasionally going under the bed for hours at a time like the cave goblin she is. She was a much needed bolt of sunshine in this storm of a year. I do metaphor good.

So with all these c-changes, how did this blog fair? Suprisingly great but not entirely in tact. Quality wise I do think I did some of my best work this year: I tackled the first apperances of every spider-man, woman and pig in into the spider-verse, the movie itself, finally web swining around a bit thanks to kev with a little more spidey planned for this year, with a tie in for Kraven later this year that's exactly what you think it is. I finally got to do an x-men month, covered rocko's modern life static cling for pride month, and in one of my finest hours, got to do a retrospective on one of my faviroite fairly recent comic strips breaking cat news with the help of my friend emma. Her sponsorship meant I got to cover something great and while few people have read it, i'm happy just to have it out there.

In addition to that I covered Tugs, an osbcure UK series and spirtual brother to thomas the tank engine that involved state mandated death dates for boats, pirates, and eleven minutes of explosions. I finally got to enjoy the madness that was the Telltale Sam and Max Games, with Save the World in the pocket and Beyond Time and Space wrapping up next week. And biggest, best and brightest of all I did a retrospecitve on little shop of horrors, finally seeing both the stage play and original corman film, as well as little shop. And someday i'll have recovered from seeing little shop.

The delay on that though brings me to the other shoe.. this year my productivity was in the basement and my week was at an all time low. Several reviews got delayed, from stewie's death leaving me unable to work for a few days for damn obvious reasons, to the move frequently taking my time or leaving me off balance. Not only that I didn't plan my time off for the move well, so I was left having to rearrange my whole schedule. It's why both pirate month and pride month, proud institutions on this blog, were reduced to a week and a three part special, something I wasn't remotely happy with. Things kept slipping by, and in general it wasn't my best year for getting shit done. I realized i'd simply taken WAY too much on, and thus have scaled back to ten reviews instead of 12 a month, and may scale back further if necessary: i'd rather these reviews be their best and get put through a spellcheck than be glad it's done only to realize I have nother thing that's due yesterday.

Not helping were towards the end of the year, a massively loud noise from my computer fan that made it hard to concentrate, something that's hard for my adhd ass in general let alone with a giant whirring fan that nothing can out loud, and having finally solved tha tproblem thanks to my dad's help.... then having my wrist go out, and while it's recovered now, it meant an extra week off, which sounds nice and was in places.. but was mostly spent in pain or asleep to escpae the pain till I got things to help with that. Then after a nice christmas, a lovely few days after... I got a cold, which spent up a large chunk of my vacation in a sick coma.

I apologize a bit for all the venting as you can tell this year's been a long one. I came out the otherside well with a loveable dog and a great new work/living space, but it was a bitch getting to here.

Thankfully animation wise, the industry wasn't in as MUCH turmoil this year. It still wasn't great: We got more cancelations with Lumberjanes and Phoebe and Her Unicorn announced formally dead before arrival had even started, and cancellations for Inside Job, Star Trek Progidy and Praise Petey, the last two seemingly in limbo as a result, with only one getting saved. While it wasn't the cancelnado of last year that wrecked many a service and nearly ended me, it was still pretty bad and Warner showed zero signs of learning from their lessons: after taking a few months off thinking the heat died down they tried canceling coyote vs acme.. only to then nakedly start a bidding war, making what they were really doing with most projects obvious: making them unaviliable.. and then starting a bidding war for other streamers. I'm not upset many of these shows are on other streamers as their safer from Zaslav there, but it shows just how nakedly greedy, transparently corrupt and blatantly fraudlent Warner Bros Discovery has become.

While the sales of the brilliant Merry Little Batman and sure to be great Batman: Caped Crusader to amazon are GOOD as Amazon has learned what animation means, it unmasks warner as simply doing all this tax writeoff shit to make money.. and then often forgetting to even sell the shows, not carring if no one's buying and just shrugging off someone's heart and soul being cast into the void. The loss of Final Space and Close Enough STILL stings and hasn't gone away even with the maker of the former both having found a way to finish the story and move on with his life.

The cherry on top of this shit sundae is Zaslav, no shit, saying the decision to shelve Batgirl, a movie that was entirely done and could've had the elseworlds label slapped on it if they didn't want it in the DCU, BRAVE. Yes that.. really happened.

It wasn't just Zaslav fucking up this year though, as other execs certainly tried their hardest or were arm and arm with him: The biggest blunder is obviously the strikes which while not affecting animation for the most part, was still a long dark night of the soul that was entirely the fault of executives not wanting to give up the precious theorietical money they could make once AI gets to the point it can create actual things, nor the likenesses of DEAD PEOPLE they should have no right to. Exec behavior was at it's most disgraceful this year... I don't know how that bare somehow got lower but that's the hellscape we're in with both zaslav and iger beign part of the corprate hydra that kept rejecting any deals presented and tended to flip the table and leave in a huff , leaving the negotations for weeks at a time till it became apparent that no amount of veiled threats of starving them out.

That said the strikes... were a net positive: they were long, brutal and threw tv off and delayed a show or two.. but it was well worth it. It helped show just how much actors and writers of all pay levels are needed, got them badly needed pay increases and protections and left the door open to help fiddle with AI protections as while AI isn't remotely good at creating scripts, that's never stopped execs from promoting something anyway. Despite MANY attempts to demonize the strikers, frame them as hollywood elites despite the fact the bulk were just trying to live on and were putting their liveleyhoods at stake to make sure they had one, or paint them as the bad guys.. it never worked. The public held firm, the strikers held firm and deflected most attempts with solidarity, with said big fish they tried to use as propoganda.. instead gladly donating to help the strike keep going. Fran Drescher and co fought hard, and the result is a slightly better hollywood.

And that hope for a brighter future really radiated this year: while Animation is still in flux in places, a lot of the networks hit hard by corprate dumbfuckery last year started to regrow: Netflix, after a year or two of rapid cancellations and baffling decisions, finally regrew it's animation divsions: Outside of Inside Job, most cancelations were shows that really weren't the best idea or execution to start with, and most hits got renewed, with them even picking up Star Trek Prodigy for another season and likely as many as they can carry. They pivoted more to adult animation with hits like Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Pluto, Castlevania Nocturne, Carol and the End of the World and Blue Eyed Samurai, the latter three I wish I got to but i've heard are incredible.

While WBD was still BURNIN DOWN THE HOUSEEEE, it snuck in a few hits with My Adventures with Superman and tons of great stuff I did'nt get too like Scavengers Reign, the beginning of the end for Craig of the Creek, Fired on Mars, and Hair Love, while having a suprise banger in the form of Tiny Toons Loonveristy, proving just how to reboot a classic property once again. Not only that the finale movies for Venture Bros and Metalocalypse came out, which given the last year was a huge fingers crossed thing. But both came out, I got both on blu ray, and got neat posters with them in the bargin and both closed up two of adult swims best series in the way they richly deserved. We also got an Urkel Christmas Movie. I guess.

Amazon continued it's own building: in addition to the dark knight picups mentiond, Invincible and Legend of Vox Machina both had amazing season 2's, with Vox Machina picked up for two more seasons to close it out proper and a Mighty Nein spinoff, with a Belles Helles Spinoff all but guarnateed at some point, and Hazbin Hotel after a truly agonizing year of waiting for someone to announce they had it, finding a perfect home for the happiest place in hell.

Finally, the indie scene, already thriving blew the fuck up. For the first time I nominated six diffrent pilots from various indie creators who all did a fucking great job: Godspeed, Lackadaisy, In Limbo, Atlas and the Stars, and Swift Spark and the Defensive five all had impressive showings and I regret not watching Lackadaisy in time to support it, but I can't wait to see what it brings to the table and to see all of these shows make it to series, not to mention up coming ones like ToonrifiqTariq's "Hey" that are likely going to come out next year.

It's a strange time for animatoin.. but one tha'ts proven you can make your own way, that the big coprations are trying and that in film.. is at one of i'ts brightest: while there ere some stumbles we had masterpieces like Nimona, which also made disney look horribly stupid for homophobically canceling it, Across the Spider verse (which needed to treat it's animators better but still deserves mention), and TMNT Mutant Mayhem.

It was a hell of a year and I can't want to share the best of it with you. And as a result of such a good year there's a few firsts: This is the first year with Anime included and if you want to know why i'ts taken so long it wasn't snobbery.. I just.. plain forgot to watch the ones I DID want to watch the past few years. That's... really it. I usually prefer reading the manga, as it's both faster and less time consuming, and Some of the best often aren't on the streaming platforms I do have. Pluto and Scott Pilgrim got by by being adaptations of something I love with all my heart a piece and thus coudln't bear myself to miss, but I might try to vary up my viewing more next year. I do want to check Zom 100 out at some point.

Anyways the other is that I allowed two dtv movies in here. Now this is with a caveat: It has to be directly linked to an existing animated series, a sequel, a prequel, etc. It's something I never really thought about before, but makes sense: While Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart and Army of the Doomstar were both considered for my film list too and are films.. their the proper conclusion to their stories. Not only that with Pluto's inclusion on this list, we have a series that had episodes only about ten minutes or so shy of both films runtime, so I figured fudging the rules like this was fair. I would've included Craig Before the Creek, but I want to wait to watch it when it comes on HBO Max next month.. and buy it on Physical as I don't remotely trust WBD to keep digtial copies up forever anymore. And really it feels in the spirit of things like operation zero back in the day or in both metalocalypse and venture bros own histories, all this and gargantua 2 and doomstar requieum.

Okay now that's settled this years list is intresting as while there's a decent amount of returning shows most haven't been on this list before. Of the nominees the only returning shows are The Legend of Vox Machina, Invincible, Helluva Boss, The Great North, Miraculous and Big City Greens, with mainstays like Tuca and Bertie and Close Enough sadly gone thanks to WBD being pralines and dicks. Thus our shows competing are an eclectic mix of returning combatants, one for sadly the last times, revivials of old shows, reboots of old shows, two limited series, and a handful of spectacular pilots

These are the shows that I got to see this show and thus entered the running, all sorted by platform since.. there's a lot.

Amazon Prime: The Legend of Vox Machina Invincible

HBO Max: YOLO: Silver Destiny Clone High Tiny Toons Looniversity Adventure Time : Fionna and Cake Aqua Teen Hunger Force My Adventures with Superman Disney+: Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur The Owl House (Final Year) Kiff Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir Big City Greens Hulu: The Great North Futurama Bob's Burgers The Simpsons Netflix: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (Limited Series) Pluto (Limited Series) DTV: Venture Bros: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (Special) Metalocalypse: Army of the Doomstar (Special)

YouTube: Helluva Boss Godspeed Lackadaisy In Limbo The Amazing Digital Circus Atlas and the Stars Swift Spark and the Defensive Five

So with our nominees in clear view, who shined the brightest, who didn't and whose going to yell at me over my choices? find out under the cut!

FULL SPOILERS FOR MOST EPISODES ON THIS LIST. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

20. The First Episode (Atlas and the Stars, Pilot)

"Sorry for dragging you into this man. You don't have to trust me but I promise to make this up to you, I swear."

Coming in just under the wire as the last released episode on this list, it's placing is just a fun concidence, we have The First Episode... the pilot for new series Atlas and the Stars. You can watch it here

So it's come up soon but the reason I put MOST episodes on the spoiler warning.. is this pilot and another on the list, I really DON'T want to spoil much as both rely on you watching it, this one in paticular not revealing what the show's premise will be from here on out, instead telling the parallel tales of Atlas, a human from a dying planet who hyjacks a space ship to acheive her dream of endless freedom in the stars, Atmosphere, a shy loveable alien embarking on his first day regestring ships at a space port, and Quasar, the lord of a mysterious planet who keeps having to sacrifice.. somethign to a portal to keep it alive... and it can't keep up forever and his beligeured assitant nebula. ALl of this comes togeter in a beautifully animated, well active and creative sci fi adventure with one hell of a hook from where it goes form here, awesome character desgin work and some neat sci fi tek in Atlas' googles. Miranda Toomey used every inch of whateve rbudget she had to make this and it turne dout gorgeous, and I can't wait to see the next episode in this and how this story progresses. It's well done, gorgeous, heartfelt and engaging and I recommend you go watch it before we move on to our next entry.

19. Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (Venture Brothers, Finale Movie) "All you need to know is the person who gave birth to you loves you, I promise you that"

From a start to a finish we have Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart, the long awaited and thankfully came out with a dvd and everything ending of the Venture Brothers. It's shockingly low on this list, but as much as I love this series.. it came out in a tight year with some even better finales, and had the burdern of having to cram in a season's worth of content, even with the cuts they made, into an 84 minute film.

The results are still excellent: Radiant is a fun, frantic race to the finish line that satisfyingly answers a lot of the series biggest questions: Who the boys mom was, how Monarch and Rusty are related, can HELPER fire a shot gun, will Hank and Dean reconcile... all the closure we needed in a tight 88 minute story that also includes classic hip hop traick it's takes 2, magnetic shenanigans, Hank using giant novelty checks for money, dermott using a piss filled super soaker, dean thinking he's a vampire, a halfway house for supernatural heroes, and Mantilla, one of the series most delightful villians and one I really wish we'd gotten proper time with. It's a joyous reaffermation of what this series is about, has nice moments for most of the best cast members, including Brick Frog my beloved, and ends on a mostly satisfying note. It also gives us a golem made entirely of pants and isn't that the greatest adventure of all?

18. "Lights, Camera, Sparks?!" (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Episode 5)

"You've known him for three f***ing days!" "Is that all it's been?!" Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was an easy faviorite this year and given my longstanding love of the Scott Pilgrim comics and like of the movie, it wasn't a huge shocker i'd love whatever the anime turned out being. I was pumped from the announcement, worried it'd just be "the movie but animated" when the cast was announced.. and then over the moon when it turned out that no, the cast was all coming back but the take on the franchise was all new.

What we got wasn't the straight adaptation that was pitched.. and was all the better for it. If you haven't seen Takes Off.. please do it's fantastic, I did a whole review on it, go, and if you won't then this is your last warning as I can't really talk about the episodes of it on this list without getting into spoilers as it's one of those series where the first episode twist.. defines the rest of the show.

Okay we good. So the first episode progresses as normal, a few tweaks to let you know this is it's own universe, enough character moments to show that even with the film voice actors the main cast is closer to the comics..... then Scott seemingly dies.

From there things go off the rails, and that's where the magic kicks in: While Scott's still key to the story and turns out, naturally, NOT to be dead, instead kidnapped by a mysterious portal, Ramona takes the lead, with us getting to know her better now she's the pov character instead of the guy worshipping the ground she skates on. While Ramona was fleshed out in the comics, the series gives her more to do as she solves this mystery. It's intriguing, it's fun, and it gives Mary Elizabeth Winstead the chance to play a more fleshed out version of the character with more sides to her than "aloof".

What the series also does well.. is go the fuck off the rails. Matthew uses his newfound confidence to punch gideon out of all his companies and fancy suits, Gideon becomes the best worst couple with julie, and Young Neil becomes a spacey moron who assumes the mysterious person writing a script based on how the story originally went is his sleep paralysis demon. The series has a lot of great character, animation and development as Ramona's forced to .. talk with her exes instead of her new boyfriend punching most of them for her.. but it can't be forgotten it's also delightfully nuts, easily the goofiest this franchise has gotten and i'm here for it.

That brings us to "Lights, Camera, Sparks?!", easily the biggest shit post of the entire series, and one of the funniest episodes of the year easily. While the previous ones are a bit melancholy in tone with the goofy stuff as a nice side dish, fitting how scott pilgrim rolls, LCS is just one long farce with Ramona struggling to get any detective shit done while Wallace wrecks envy and todd's relationship, Edgar Wright but voiced by Kevin McDonald slowly looses his mind, and Neil gets into various shenanigans while only being a quarter aware of anything going on, including what was in the script his sleep paralysis ramona from the future wrote.

The setup is simple: Toronotwood is making a film based on how scott's story usually go, again ghost written by a mysterious sleep paralysis demon, and hired Lucas and envy to play scott and ramona. Lucas got can...something for dating a 30 year old who looks like a high schooler, so now i'ts todd clumisly shoved into Scott's clothes. Wallace is also there, having throughly humilited the notoriously straight actor playing him out of a job and letting his ego grow 15 sizes that day.

What follows is a mocumentary masterclass as Envy and Todd can't stop being horny for two seconds, Wallace making out with Todd and being his bi awakening reading them to constantly "run lines in his trailer", Neil is hilaroius and you will repeat everything he says and Ramona is left bobbing around unable to actually get any answers.

This all leads to a delightful explosion as Todd falls in love with Wallace, Wallace is a callous dick, Wallace sicks his stunt doubles on Envy, Ramona is sicked on them, and everyone is confused, all cumilating in todd binge eating poutine and crying, an option I wish americans had but alas we are poutineless while Matt shuts down the production then sputters like a kid who got a lucky punch in on his bully when he finds out Scott is alive. Also Knives and Stephen get a meeting with him leading to the greatest musical of all time.

As you can tell this episode is very stupid and I love it. It's just 100% nonsense the whole way through, letting Wallace do something since the only main character who isn't Ramona he interacts with is in the future right now. There isn't much to disect, i'ts just pure comedy gold with props to both Kirean for really nailing a more douchestastic wallace and especially Brandon Routh who has shockingly deep comedic chops. A great episode and a nice break before we dive full speed into just where Scott went.

17. Lackadaisy (Pilot Episode)

Old Man River! That seems far too austere a name for something made of mirth and rage. O, roiling red-blood river vein. If chief among your traits is age, You're a wily, convoluted sage.

Is "old" the thing to call what rings the vernal heart of wester-lore? What brings us brassy-myth made kings. And a preponderance of bug-type things.  To challenge titans come before!

O, demiurge to a try at Avalon-once-more?

And what august vitality in your wide aorta stream. You must have had to oversee alchemic change of timber beam to iron, brick and engine steam!

Your umber whiskey waters lance the prideful, sober sovereignty of faulty-haloed temperance, and wilt her self-sure countenance; Yes, righteousness is vanity.  But sport's for imps, not elderly.

So if there's a name for migrant mass of veteran frivolity That snakes through seas of prairie grass and groves of summer sassafras; a name that flows as roguishly as wild waters, fast and free, It's your true name: Mississippi.

That beautiful poem opens up Lackadaisy, thank you wiki so I didn't have to transcribe that whole glorious thing, as a roustabout cat in 1927 St. Louis names rocky spends the first few minutes playing fiddle, basking in the glorious moonlight and waxing poetic about the mighty missisipi. It's a beautiful opening that shows off the series deft animation and MIssouri setting, something that makes me want to learn more about my own state's history. It's clear from the word go a LOT of love and research went into this setting, and given creator Tracy Butler had started Lackadaisy as an even MORE lavishly drawn webcomic.

Lackadaisy has a simple setup: three cats working for the titular saloon, Rocky, our dreamy narrator and mild loon, Freckle, his grumpy sidekick whose perhaps a bit TOO good with a gun, and Ivy, a peppy girl who takes jabs at Rocky and flirts with Freckle. I .. I ship the fuck out of it. These two are adorable. The three are robbing a body for canadian hooch but have to deal with the deathly serious and deathly hot, Mordecai Heller and his much more excitable, jokey and bloodthristy associates Serfafine and Nico Savoy.

The short is mostly a tense back and forth between both parties as our heroes barely surivive, we get a lot of good Ivy and Freckle content and Rocky saves the day by hyjacking a goddamn steam shovel and loading it with dynamite while waxing poetic and laughing madly. If that's not enough to get you to check it out if you haven't, I have clearly failed in some way as Lackadasiy is excellent and like Atlas and the Stars, leaves me wanting more of this cast. I'll defintely be reading the comic and plan to at least try to get the print editions coming up soon, as the pilot does a good job of showing who these characters are simply by action.. but leaving you questioning WHO they are and how they all ended up in a failing saloon, and why say Mordecai spares Ivy towards the end. Whatever it is I only want more of this, and am so happy those of you who weren't late adoptres like me helped get us a full season 1. Thank you so much and I can't wait for this show to show up here again. It's gonna be a riot and Micheael Kovach steals the show any time Rocky speaks, while SunWongCho is just... amazing as Mordecai and gives us a great antagonist to work with, a classic mystery man whose side your not sure who he's on, you just know he's a threat when he shows up.

16. Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake, Season 1 Episode 2)

Does somebody jump for joy? Does somebody cry? Now that I'm not part of that sadness? Does somebody want me now? Now that I can’t fly? Now that I'm not part of the madness? Part of the madness?

Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake surprised the hell out of me in the best way possible. See while I never stopped caring in SOME way about adventure time, my dropping off mid series after ... THAT happened in Breezy, only coming back occasionally for an episode or two, the orgalorg arc and the finale, I really wasn't interested. I did enjoy the two episodes of Distant Lands I saw, Stakes was excellent and Together Again felt like a more fitting final chapter to the series. Both didn't feel like continuation of the story: Stakes was a coda giving us the Bubbline content CN denied us and Together Again is an Epilogue, set at the very end of Finn's story.

So I was kind of.. Meh on Fionna and Cake's announcment. I wasn't against it but I'd just never really cared about these two, with the series having made two great episodes about them (and two more I hadn't seen at the time), but the whole "created by a creepy old guy" part of it always held me back from fully embracing these two. I was badly hoping they'd throw away the whole fanfic conceit and just move on.

They didn't do that.. but Fionna and Cake not only found a way to revitalize that, but reminded me WHY the original series was so strong. Fionna and Cake grew up with the original audience, a piece about metafiction, fandom, growing up, and depression all made wonderful and really stretching the property as far as it'll go and i'ts unexpected season 2 greenlight makes me all too excited.

The thing I was most excited for though.. was still greatly done. Alongside Fionna and Cake getting a slice of life makeover thanks to Simon going back to "normal", we get some closure for Simon who ended the series seemingly fine: Betty is gone, but he's sane, Marcy gets her real dad back, job done right?

Adam Muto, Adventure Time's ep from season 6 and the archeticht of most things from Rebcca Sugar's leaving till present day, disagreed, planning a simon special for distant lands before rewriting it for this series. And it points out something a lot of fans noticed about this ending: it's.. not okay. Simon lost betty AGAIN, and is now trapped in a world he never made.

And the series makes this into his arc, how does he fit into this world, and what he tries to do to escape it instead of dealing with it. Simon Petrkiov paints a picture of where Simon's been in the 10 year time jump between Come Along With Me and his debut in this series, Simon Petrikov.. and it's a deeply depressing picture.

Simon's a living exhibit on the humans floating island, unable to connect with his fellow humans as he can't relate to them in any way shape or form. He's a 20th Century man and their 24th century men and women. Not helping is an overzealous, or sweet fan girl he keeps shooing away who just CAN'T understand that the man who wrote Fionna and Cake.. ISN'T the same guy making toast in a fake apartment and watching Cheers every day. The Ice King was PART of simon, but they were never the same person and every reminder of the hell the poor man went under, the things he did, the people he hurt just reminds Simon how far away he is from home.

Not helping is something all too common with depression and trauma, something I know all too well... Simon won't open up to people. He doesn't get help (and as we learn via a minerva bot in the finale Therapy was ALWAYS there for him), and he keeps space from the surrogate family he does have. He dosen't want to "ruin" marcy finally being in a good place and thus barely calls her, content to just visit and pretend things are okay. Finn TRIES reaching out.. but while he's older, wiser, and beardier now, and to my delight still with Huntress Wizard (and in headcanon in a throuple with Flame Princess, but that just me. ), but he's still an adrenline junky raised by a loveable manchild who can't quite relate to someone like Simon, who just wants his old life back.

All this is punctuated by the return of Rebecca Sugar, who sings the beautiful and tragic "part of the madness" which sums up where Simon is: he's normal, he's who HE wants to be.. but the world simply feels like it rejects him, when really he's just as much rejecting it. Instead of trying to find some calm in the storm of this life and admit he needs help.. he chases betty, trying badly to get her back even though it just.. isnt' possible.. and causing this series as a result. He just can't let go.. but the series shows him he has to if he wants to truly live.

15. Miraculous World Paris : Tales of Shadybug and Claw Noir (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir World Special 4) | In the daytime, I'm Gabriel Just a normal man, with a normal life But I have a secret I must keep at any cost Or all hope will be lost. Miraculous! Fear is a cage! Hear the message, answer the call! Miraculous! Yes, you can change! The power of love will free us all! Miraculous!

Yeah after two years of watching it, Miraculous Ladybug actually made this list. I'm shocked i'ts both this high AND this good. See while i'm a fan of Miraculous Ladybug, most of the fandom is more a fan of what it could be, the potetial it'd have if Thomas Astruc hadn't been the one mostly running it for 5 seasons and running it straight into the ground into the molten core of the earth. The Recent film, while far from perfect, felt like more what the series SHOULD'VE been, with the secret id bullshit resolved by the end of what's essentially movie/season 1, Gabe given more depth etc.

So i'ts ironic that in the same year the show itself, via it's spinoff specials gives us ANOTHER universe that's way better than the mess they've made of the main timeline with Miraculous World Paris. Mirror Universes are nothing new, to the point Kev and I have a whole series on mirror universe episodes featuring this very special planned, starting later this month.

With Ladybug's lack of subtley, misuse of good ideas and goofy incompetence, I assumed this special would be at best goofy fun with overblown multiverse and mirror universe tropes. Instead... it's the single best episode of the shows run, a truly moving piece that made me enjoy mirror universes again the same way Fionna and cake has made me enjoy AU's again

Miraculous knows just the right way to make evil counterparts: instead of the earth 3 versions of Marinette, Adrien and Gabriel the complete opposites of our heroes or just "Evil, Evil and less of a prick", Shady Bug, Claw Noir and Betterfly are all the same people we've come to know, simply gone down a diffrent route. Gabe is a better person, having STARTED as his earth 1 shitheal self working with his earth's eviil shadow overlord supreme... the loss of his life somehow changing this course. Instead of using the butterfly miraculous to try and bend the world in shape to get his wife back, he honors her legacy as Betterfly, helping others, something that seems IMPOSSIBLE for our gabe to consider without an ulterior motive.. but all too plausible if he just let go of his ego and his wife and let her die in peace instead of holding her in a dome coma and fighting teens. If he accepted he can't control something

Likewise Shadybug is Mari if Alaya hadn't befriended her, if Chloe just kept bullying Mari and Mari never stood up to her, the bullying just made her worse. If her parents WEREN'T there to support her: the bakery and her room is.. but it's very clear her alternate parents just aren't the loving duo our Mari's are. This is the kind of Mari that would've easily become an akuma.. but instead becomes something WORSE thanks to Supreme, a mysterious entity linked to the guardians, very heavily implied to be earth 3 Master Wu, who gives out the miraculouses to those who can tighten his grip on earth, and selected Mari and an Adrien who never went to school and thus never got out of his shell and is even MORE distant form his dad due to Gabe's new job as his pawns.

It results in a tearful battle as our heroes are both forced to TRUST the best life version of their nemisis, and battle what easily could'e ben them, while their counterparts find out , after Shadybug tries the wish thing, that supreme was using them and their lives are being drained by overusing their powers, explaning why the regular miraculouses limit our heroes to one use of their powers and limited timing. This is what happens otherwise and Monarch is all too happy to take advantage of that. There's more to this special, a lot more I can't wait to explore in april, but needless to say Miraculous World Paris.. is what I wanted from this series: a creative, tightly told, heartbreakingly well done superhero story with tense action, creative uses of the kwamis, and good character stuff for BOTH versions of our protagonists. I'ts a true masterwork and I wish THIS is the show we got more consistently.

14. The Amazing Rudy (Bob's Burgers, Season 14, Episode 2)

"I kinda walked away on dinner with my dad and her boyfriend and dad and his vicky for the first time which I guess how family dinners are gonna be from now on and I guess technically... I ran away"

It's weird but despite my deep love of the Great North (Which for the first time since it's debut missed the list this year, but damn did it have a good one, even if season 4 had to wait for 2024), until this year I wasn't consistently watching it's sister show Bob's Burgers anymore. I liked Bob's, I loved the movie, I had nothing against it. But any time I tried to get back there'd be an episdoe that just took me out. So now while I won't watch every episode, I still watch most, as the show is good as ever, if not on a comeback after a few seasons apparently felt (if TV Tropes is a good indciator) as very hit and miss. Season 14 is fantastic and it's no surprise it's second episode ended up being one of the series best.

The Amazing Rudy is something completely different in tone and staging, with a more melancholy peanuts style soundtrack, a somber tone and more muted humor. It fits perfectly, as the episode isn't centered around the Belchers this time but Louise's best friend, future husband and morality pet Rudy. The show has had secondary character spotlights before, Rudy getting a few himself, but usually the Belchers are still front and center and one of them still plays a major role in following this character around. For instance a few episodes later we get "bully-leive it or not" a zeke spotlight episode, but one where the other three kids are still very present: Zeke and his shameful past are the focus, but Louise and Tina still figure heavily into the plot, louise nearly bullyign Zeke's former bullying victim thinking the guy bullied zeke and that's why zeke freezes up seeing the guy, while Tina guiding the kid around is what kicks things off. The two aren't the focus, but it still feels like a bobs burgers adventure, helped with a bob subplot where he grapples with Jimmy Pesto, now played by Eric Bauza after a long absence thanks to his previous actor being an insurrectionist which lets face it Jimmy totally also was or at the very least thought about before finding the air fair was too much.

Here the focus is on Rudy to the point it feels like an episode of a Rudy spinoff show that does not exist but we now all want it too. It's still in Seymour's Bay (Which I forget is the name of the town this show takes place in as mostly people we know are in wonder wharf or on ocean avenue), just following Rudy as the lead instead. The Belcher's show up, in the middle of a bob's burger's episode we'll never see about Gene getting good grades and thus getting baked potato lasagna, a recipie he made up and assumes "everyone else must enjoy" is part of the reward, with the payoff him realizing he can't force someone to love his abomination, but he CAN have their portions. Being Rudy's closest friends and future wife it makes since there the ones he talks to when he goes to the mall with his dad to get a magic trick for the night and a snappy hat when he crosses them.

The Belcher's presence also hammers home what Rudy's dealing with though and that's.. a loss of family. Rudy's Parents are divorced. This isn't a new fact as it's come up casually in the past: being the kids Teddy, i.e. the person closest to them in their age group to be clear, not the person who defintely has passed by the restraunt at night every night and just.. stares in the window. But being the kids most prominent supporting character, with Jimmy Junior and Zeke a close shared second, we've gotten to know him: his parents divorce is amnicable, he alternates weekends, and they've both moved on. We haven't really seen his mom but Rudy seems just fine with her and with his dad being his primary caregiver, is a bit closer to him, as shown in this ep as the two are adorably in synch and have their rythm.

See Rudy didn't LOOSE his mom or dad, both are still very present.. but he lost the three of them as a family and until recently had their monthly "We're still a family' dinner", what, as we learn in a heartbreaking montage i'll get too shortly, was a monthly family dinner and became a way to show that both his parents still loved him and still liked each other even if they weren't together. The problem is while a well meaning gesture, both parents have started bringing their partners, which is fair but makes it less a family dinner.. and more Rudy stuck with four adults having a hangout who accidently forget he's there. While I never went through one of these as a middle schooler when my parents broke up, I know the type of event Rudy deals with all too well: it's mostly adults, there's no one to talk to and your alone. Granted I was fine with it because I just.. read whatever book I brought anyway, but rudy is a social butterfly, an awkward awkward butterfly, so he has no idea how to handle this, or really deal with it.

His one ace in the hole is a magic trick, from his faviorite shop, the same one we saw in the magic episode way back. See while Rudy's love of being a magician is another character trait that's come up, this episode gives weight to it: Rudy got into magic not just because he dearly loves it and the person at the shop gladly mentors him and supports his talent, but it's seen in a montage of previous dinners that any time his parents started fighting, before and after divorce, a simple trick reentered the night and reminded them what's important.

Naturally the trick, done using a glass of drinking water and some tablets, goes wrong, and while Rudy's parents encourage him to try again and no one really is mad at him or upset it went wrong and spilled everywhere, he feels utterly humiliated, something we all went through as kids: you screw something up and while your parents don't make a deal out of it, you just can't. Hell I still have that problem. So combine that with already not wanting ot be here and Rudy bounces, his parents not aware he's gone.

Naturally, given the earlier setup, he bounces to the Belchers. And it's easy to see why: The Belchers are a loving, wonderful family, and Bob and Linda not only gladly let Rudy join, but engage with him in a way Rudy's parents simply forgot. Rudy's parents aren't callous... adults simply make mistakes and in likely trying ot make sure rudy's okay with both their partners being there, their partners feel good, the million other things they got going on.. they talked over Rudy. It's what makes this work: we feel for rudy, but it stings more that this isn't some problem with an easy fix. There will be plenty more dinners where he's wallpaper and plenty more times they likely forget him without meaning to. The trick COULD'VE helped.. but it failing was a reminder it was just a distraction from the fact his parent's aren't a family anymore, just two people who share a kid, loving him and caring about each other.. but what little bit of what he had before the divorce is just gone.

Brian Huskey's voice as he gives the monologue I used for this episode's quote is just heartbreaking.. you can feel the kid just.. relaizing he can't just run away from it. It's just.. how things are. HIs sad revelation of this just hits, Louise's "Oh boy", and Rudy sounds on the verge of tears.. we've seen him mad, we've seen him kinda sad.. but never like this. Just a child realizing things won't be the same and he has nothing to do but go back to it.

Thankfully as bob and linda mindly panic after realizing "oh god this child just ran and his parents don't know oh god", Louise knows what her best friends need and offers to walk him back. not only is the moment shiptastic.. it's sweet. Louise gets Rudy is having a hard time with all of this and needs some support, needs someone his own age there to talk with and to help deflect attention. And to punch out anyone on the way who tries to hurt them with brass knuckles, which naturally linda gave her as santa. After all he IS from the streets. It provides a pretty morose episode an utterly sweet ending as the two walk back, Bob couldn't be prouder, and Rudy.. for now at least.. isn't alone among his own family anymore. He may never have what he had back.. but he's gained someone pretty good along the way.

13. Watching and Dreaming (The Owl House, Season 3 Episode 3, Series Finale)

"Eda, King, Thank you for Everything" "Right Back atcha kiddo" "Weirdos?" "Weirdos"

The Owl house was the best show of the 2020's and while it had some stiff compettion this year, it still hasn't been surpassed. It was hilarious, had a wonderfully built messed up world with lots of thought, deep character arcs, and was sadly cut short way too soon, but will never leave the hearts of those of us who loved it.

So thankfully they stuck the landing, as Watching and Dreaming was a worthy conclusion to the series. After the decent but easily weakest of the three season 3 specials "For the Future", Watching and Dreaming is a nicely packed finale that wraps up the series wonderfully and while it leaves me wanting only MORE, MORE DAMN YOU MORE, as the series always had, it's a good note to end on while Dana gets the hell out of mouseton for a while.

It was also the last episode of a show I covered as it came out, with an attempt to do so with legend of vox machina adding way too much to my work load this year to really work out, and as a finale to that.. it was just as welcome.

Watching and Dreaming spends it's first third on the Collector, and while there is a bit of disconnect between what he puts our heroes through and where he left off, with Luz once again hving her anxieties reinforced via a horrifying puppet show, the show quickly recovers as the big three are reunited after two long episodes and several long months in and out of universe: Luz has her other mom and little brother back, Eda has her kids back and King has her family back. We also get a quick show of just how far they've come since the pilot as each one easily bodies the collector's games... and leaves him wondering why they won't play fair, why this isn't working. It takes three people who had to learn their lessons the hard way through tears, isolation and learning their life was a lie, to teach the boy god empathy and unveil that at his heart.. he's just a kdi who REALLY didn't know what he was doing was awful.

Unfortunately just as the collector learns friendship, belos POSSESS THE TITAN'S CORPSE ITSELF and plans to do .. something.. genocidey and after an attempt to just forgive him fails, the only thing our heros have is each other, with Luz's friends aka our other heroes busy saving allt he puppets with their new starry pjamaed pal.

Luz gets a last minute somewhat asspully upgrade, but it's all three together that defeats belos. It's an epic finale but one that nicely focuses on who Dana intended as the core of the series: a child who found her place in another world and learned responsibility and to forgive herself, a witch who learned to forigve and let others in, and a titan who learned empathy, all kicking that blobs ass. And then curb stomping it. It's a moving, fast paced, excellently animated finale with a fun time skip epilogue to tie it all together. Owl House may be gone... but it'll never be forgotten.

12. Army of the Doomstar (Metalocalypse, Finale Movie)

"I am a wheel in the gear of the Klok. I feel not my mortality".

The other adult swim finale movie this year and the one that had the harder road. While Venture Bros got it's movie offer at the same time as cancelation, it took Brendon Small a decade, a whole ass album designed to be as close to a finale as he could get without a lisence and a LOT of campaning to finish his story to get here. Metalocalypse ended just as the final verse of blood, metal and stupidity was about to be written, and it was thanks to Small and the Fans themselves that we finally got it with this movie.

Army wraps up 4 seasons and another movie, a movie I dearly loved when it came out and still do, with an epic. It's darker in tone as the metalocalypse that begun at the start of the series is almost here and Nathan Explosion has a full on existential crisis trying to write the song that will save the world, having no idea how and not helped by his disasterous attempted propsoal to abigail while on a lot of wine and xanax (Props to small for ending a pretty disliked subplot exactly the way it shoudl without just.. tossing it out for time or some shit AND making it tie perfectly into the plot). The films dives into the overexpecations we put on creatives to MAKE US MORE DAMMIT, and how hard that actually is.. but also how fans.. are something to treasure and not spit in their face as our heroes have the whole series, seeing them more as parasites than people.

It maintains the series ballance of having an epic story.. but not sugarcoating that these guys are fucking morons with Nathan charging into a funeral on xanax and telling everyone, Pickels having ot literally be everyone's mom, and Pickles ordering a last meal fo rnathan of cool ranch diritos and choclate milk. The shows as goofy as ever, but adds a heart that's been only glimpsed on occasion as our heroes are allergic to feelings, as our heroes must save the world. We also get some kickass metal music as always, with SOS being a standout, giving us one last awesome dethklok performance and song as our heroes rally the world to show them their not alone.. and they never were. An epic, hilarious, and well done film that manages to cover all the bases it needs to and wrap everything up in 96 minutes. Pretty brutal.

11. The World Vs Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim Takes off Episode 6, Series Finale)

"Hey, because I'll have a lot of trouble saying it later, let me say it now: I love you, Scott. And I run away from the thing that I love. But what I've done in the past doesn't have to define me. Help me keep remembering that, okay?"

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was a thrilling watch but there was one worry I had as it went.. sticking the landing. It set up a compelling mystery, to the point I genuinely wasn't sure who would kidnap scott as while the twins DID have to show up and were likely involved.. it just didn't fit that it was them. It being their robot who being a robot has never eaten anything, thus never eaten meat and would have none of the bilogicial weaknesses of a human, was brilliant as it is hilarious bonkers.

Who sent the robot.. was even better as it turned out to be Scott himself, a twist that told me everything was going to be alright. Specifically this is a scott who lived what this story would've been: Scott beats the exes, gets the girl, and they have a happy relationship and then marriage for 15 years, having become their best selves. The thing the series challenges though .. is if they can STAY better versions of themselves. It's something the other versions didn't really WANT to poke at because it makes the ending less happy: if they don't end up together, what's the point of all this. Yet.. relatoinships break up. Hope Larson, the real life inspriation for Ramona, divorced Brian Lee O Malley. The relationship COULD fail and where would that leave them.

As it turns out.. not great as Ramona bailed when it got hard while being vauge as usual, and Scott spiraled hard into his worst habits, moving in with wallace, again, and rather than figure out where he wen twrong.. wanted to hit undo on what he felt was a sunk cost, a relationship he put his heart into only for it to seemingly fail, even if he still had a chance to save it. Hence the brilliant and only not making this list because this year was paccckkked with good episodes, 2 Scott 2 Pilgrim before this. It also helps the takes off scott spedrun his charater development as future him is everything Scott tries to ignore about himself, his laziness, selfishness, short sightentess and very stupid brain, as a person he really can't ignore because that person kidnapped him because he took a joke Wallace made seriously.

So Scott naturally motors with the help of Future Wallace and Older Ramona, who was indeed the sleep paralysis demon and like her ex husband really sucks at plans, but gives Scott a lift home. So.. everything good? Ramona Grew, Scott Grew, Scott acknowlegeds he never should've dated a literal teenager... we goo dright? Right?

Thing is as this episode reveals midway through... Older Scott REALLY didn't want his past self to take the gamble that he could do it the right way and instead of giving himself tips.. gave himself anti kissing nanites so he and ramona can't kiss, the two naturally thinking it's the exes. We get a great opening here as scott confronts each of them, having only kinda witnessed their changes.. and most don't care. Even Gideon's moved on to Julie, his perfect match and a pariing I can't belivie I love and fits perfectly: their both the worst, and together their awful. Brilliant.

The two seemingly don't solve things.. but thankfully Old Scott is more than willing to show his hand.. as even older scott. Even Older Scott is terrifying, taking some of Scott's good traits.. and making them into something nightmarish. After his failure to change the future, not considering that

Instead looses his mind, training himself in video games and the martial arts for 10 years, all to counter everything his friends and the exes can do... all so he can KILL EVERY LAST ONE. Scott's worst nightmare across all realities has come to past, he's an evil ex.. and the evilest ex of all. Well in terms of power and madness, Gideon still put a bunch of women in jars because they broke up with him who Matt hopefully let out in this timeline.

We get a great fight as the utterly jacked, utterly terrifying even older scott, who nicely resembles evil ryu from street fighter and has pixel effects ala movie!gideon, cleans house, with Ramona wondering if she should just.. leave all this. It's only realizing that's literally all she does that gets her to realize she want sto fight for this, even if it ends poorly, and Scott, already all in, helps her.

Ultimately it's not the duo who win their future this time.. but Ramona's own future, what could be, even older ramona, saving her past self via fusion, a super mode (Just like Sonic 2.. or 3.. or dragon ball.), and some words of encouragment, giving EOS another chance and Scott the beautiful words above.

It's a powerful message and one that's real: it's hard to change.. but it's even harder to get change to stick. You just have to keep remembering it.. and keep trying. No matter how bad things seem.. you can make it better.

This is all helped by the beautiful ending, a pixel version of god only knows as everyone, exes now included, gets to live their best life and we last see Ramona as she dons what we finally find to be her natural hair color, blond (with some highlights because, hey, it looks badass), ready to face the future)... and the best worst couple hyping a sequel that will never happen, but frankly it'd be werider if they didn't, A truly spectacular finale to what may be the best version of this story.

[submissivegayfrenchboy]

How do you think Aaron Taylor Johnson would use his gas (burps and farts) to dominate someone?

18 / 08 / 2023

ASK ANSWERED

AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON's Gas

It's interesting that you ask me this because he is becoming more and more famous.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a very handsome man. He is tall, muscled, masculine with his beard, sexy with his long hairs, not too hairy...

He has always been very beautiful 😍

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is expected as the character of Kraven in the upcoming movie KRAVEN THE HUNTER, and I'm exciting because

1. The actor is absolutely gorgeous

2. The character is interesting and not famous so people wouldn't be able to compare it with a previous version

3. I'm gooning at his furs, i want to smell them so bad, kneeling to lick his dirty boots!

To answer your question, i described his farts in the story where i imagined him in love with... To know that, you'll have to read it 😄!

I think the story answers well your question because there is several farts scenes 😉

I described how much he farts and how stinky his farts are, and how he dominates 😄

It is one of my favorite story I've ever wrote because i took the time to describe the romantic feelings felt by the characters, and also by proving they really are dominant gods

The link of the complete story in English :

For the readers who read my stories in french, the end of the story appears here. 😄

I loved writing this story because it was erotic and romantic, with a lot of humiliations and also tenderness, which is what i really loves!

I wrote several stories about CELEBRITIES IN LOVE and HUMILIATED BY CELEBRITIES but the closest story to this one, with a ennemies-to-lovers plot, is the one about Michael B. Jordan and Florian Muntenau (where there is farts and feet too).

If you want to know more about Aaron Taylor-Johnson, these articles are interesting

@aarontaylorsjohnson-blog @aarontaylorjohnson @aarontveitdaily @aarontaylorjohnsonfans @aarontayloor-blog-blog @aarontaylorjohnsonissohandsome @fartsandfacesitting @fartsniffer31469 @farts-forever @gay-fart-stories @gayhopefullove @gassyguys @gassybud @fartsandotherstink2 @fartsmellafiction @lovefanfiction01 @rainykpoptravelcreator

[donnatroyprincessofthemyscira]

GoCollect

ComicListThis Week:

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[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Cryptomnesia —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: I tried to make it emotional and I feel like I failed am I incapable of being nice to my characters now?? -Danny

Words: 2,019

Phase Five Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘We Might As Well Be Strangers’ -by Keane

xxxiv: The Scarlet Witch

Cat had been walking for an hour when the mist dispersed: a stone castle rose into existence.

It looked old, and it fitted the scenery perfectly. That alone was enough confirmation to know Wanda was alive, Kate had never mentioned a castle being there.

"Wanda!" She called.

The massive front door opened and Cat walked in, even if this was frightening, it wasn't as scary as the things she'd left behind. She looked around, the chamber had a high roof and there was a lit chandelier in the middle, but no one was there.

"Oh God, I'm in a horror movie..."

"Good news is you can be the monster or the final girl," said a voice ahead.

Wanda was standing at the end of the hall across the room, tense, but she didn't sound passive-aggressive, so the mutant didn't know how to react. "I think I'd rather be girl number three at the coffee shop."

Before Cat could apologize for everything she'd done, Wanda rushed up to her and enveloped her in a hug. She would've warmed her about the inhibitor, but there was a strange air all over the redhead that she couldn't quite place, and it distracted her.

"Hi," she said clumsily.

"I've been wondering when you'd show up," Wanda cupped her face, she was all serious.

"You— what?"

The collar went off and Cat cried out, falling out of Wanda's grip... and through Wanda. Confused and in pain, she rolled over and stared at the projection.

"Am I dead?" She gasped.

Wanda looked down at her with a guilty smile. "Sorry. I'm astral projecting, that's why I didn't get electrocuted. Why are you wearing that?"

"It's not a fashion statement," Cat sat up with difficulty. "I'm in trouble."

The girl looked at her with interest. "Come with me, I'm in the library."

The real Wanda was floating in the middle of the room, Cat stared at her in awe.

"You've been practicing!"

"Oh, you have no idea," Wanda said, then floated down and opened her eyes, landing back on the ground gently. "I made mistakes in the process— I'm not proud of it."

"I get it," Cat smiled at her awkwardly. "My list is as big as your castle— the latest was killing Spider-man."

"Oh, you guys broke up on bad terms?"

Cat's eyes lit up. "What do you remember about me and Spidey?"

"I remember Pietro telling me you were dating," Wanda frowned. "He was the only thing you'd talk about back when we lived at the compound."

"Yeah... well, I've had a rough couple of years. Wanna catch up?"

"How much time do you have?" Wanda looked down at the collar.

"About a day and a half."

"I'll make us drinks."

"I don't understand why I froze. I might've been faster than Kraven but... I couldn't do it. I thought 'not again' but I don't even know what I meant by that! I need to get my memory restored so Edith works, it's the only thing that'll help."

"Okay," Wanda replied, finishing her drink.

Cat looked up at her. "You'll do it?"

"Well, I've had a lot of time to think about our past, and then some more to grieve what happened after..."

"Really?"

"I see one difference between you and me, C. The moment you prioritized your happiness, you sealed your fate. You've felt alone, but you've never been, you realize that now?"

"My killing list wouldn't be this long otherwise, right?"

"Then there's me," Wanda was absently making her glass twirl in the air. "Prioritizing my powers..."

"You can't compare yourself to me, we've been walking this road parallelly for ages. In any case, no hero's ever lived an unproblematic life, so it's not like we could've skipped over our bad moments."

Wanda looked at her smiling. "How old are you, Copy?"

"Twenty-five... I think. My birthday was at some point last month, but I was busy trying not to die, so I'm not sure when it happened."

"I still can't believe you're older than me now," she chuckled. "But you sure sound like it."

Cat sighed. "Nothing good came from growing up. I longed for a life in the real world... and this is what I got."

"No use to carry all that bitterness to your death..." Wanda finally forgot about her glass and looked at her. "Are you sure you want to carry on with your plan?"

Cat supported her chin in one hand and gazed a the witch. "It's the only way my friends will have fewer worries. I've had enough life, anyway."

"But what if you die and nothing changes?"

She shrugged. "I won't be here to see it."

Wanda got up and she did the same, the redhead guided her to the next room, a wide sitting area with wide windows looking out at the snowy scenery.

"You might see bad things... things that were better off in oblivion."

"I already remember plenty of ugly things. I can handle it."

Wanda pointed at the larger couch. "Lay down." The girl sat in front of her. "Close your eyes and think of when Strange erased your memory—"

"According to Webs, it was right at the end of December— no, November. But it was snowing already..." Cat continued to speak but heard less and less, and instead saw what she was describing.

The statue of liberty, the broken scaffolding... time started going backward. Spider-man said they'd met before... she looked at all the familiar faces until one person stood out: A boy, nose buried in a chemistry book, she could barely see his mop of brown curls and the upper brim of his thick glasses.

There was a time-skip, and Cat was standing in front of a boy much taller and bigger than her, and behind them, there was a boy, so small and scrawny, he had his back turned... his books were scattered all over the pavement... Cat approached him, she knelt in from of him...

"What's your name?" She was reaching out to help him stand.

"Peter..." The image glitched, but Cat held onto his hand tighter until it stopped."Parker."

Cat started to see him with new eyes, he was taller, she found him sweet-looking... Peter was everywhere. He was more than just a friend, she'd built her life around him.

Then another face showed up, but it was still him... Parker. She remember their weekend together, and the beeper she'd given him...

Cat's eyes snapped open, five minutes had passed, but she'd witnessed a whole decade through her mind's eyes, and she felt like she'd just gone back from months of being away. Wanda carefully sat beside her, pushing a few locks of hair away from her face.

"That was easy."

Cat blinked rapidly. "My god... am I crying?" She cleaned her face in disgust. "That's embarrassing."

Wanda laughed. "Same old C.C."

Cat hugged her, but it was brief, she was once again aware of her collar. "I owe you so much... if this works—"

"You'll die," Wanda concluded. "You shouldn't thank me. Your friends will hate me for this."

"You're saving more lives than you think... they'll understand."

"Not really... but I'm glad to see you're still you."

"You think so?" Cat looked at her hands. "I've lost so much heart along the way..."

"It got lost, yes," Wanda held one of her hands. "But I saw your mind, your goodness carried you forward, and you can get your heart back if you make things right."

"Just like May said," Cat smiled, beyond happy when she felt her memories coming to her with ease.

"Now..." Wanda grazed the inhibitor with her fingertips. "I could get rid of this if you want."

"Can you do it without turning off the GPS?"

"I'm not sure."

"I'll stick to my original plan, then. Save Kurt, and then... whatever happens after that, I don't care."

"Which reminds me!" Wanda stepped away. "You need a head, right?"

Cat's eyes brightened. "You can make me one?"

"Better yet!" Wanda did a couple of graceful hand movements and a head materialized before Cat. One moment it was rotten, the other it looked fresh and just like Kate.

"Holy shit!"

"Not pretty, but these hikers are everywhere, they were already dead when I got here, by the way, don't worry."

"This is amazing— thank you so much!" Cat grabbed her satchel and stuffed the head inside. She remembered what she'd brought with her and stopped.

Wanda looked at her with amusement, even if she was two years younger than the mutant she still felt like Cat was the kid sometimes. "I feel like I should go with you..."

"No. They could try to hurt you or catch you. Sergei is a good tracker, I fear."

"He's never tried to catch the Scarlet witch."

"Maybe not... but I still think it's better if you stay."

Wanda sighed. "If you survive please do visit me from time to time, I'm not as popular as you are, and most people prefer to stay away from me."

"If I survive you'll have me here every weekend," Cat then remembered Kate had asked her to move out with her and stopped smiling. "Hey, before I leave... I brought this for you... it's worn out and old, but I thought you might like to have it..."

Cat pulled Pietro's old jacket from the satchel and offered it to Wanda.

"I always felt like he was watching over me whenever I wore it, so that's why I didn't throw it out... you should have it. I'm sorry it's nothing useful, I don't have money to spare, and I didn't have time to grab some pictures before leaving."

Wanda held the jacket tenderly, she was looking at her brother through the piece of clothing, and in the blink of an eye, she restored it. Good as new. She put it on. "Thank you, Copy. I think we're even."

Cat got to her feet. "I should go, Kate and..." she stopped, feeling weird now that she remembered Spider-man's name. "Kate and Webs are waiting for me, they're probably freezing to death."

"More hikers for me," Wanda joked, then she got up and looked at Cat in a motherly manner. "Think this through... I know you feel like this is the only solution... but there are many paths sprouting out with every step you take, and they're all as likely as the next."

"I've taken them all except death," Cat said with a smile. "I'm starting to get real curious about it."

This time she was able to teleport back to her friends. Kate and Peter (wearing the mask) rushed toward her, and she moved out of their way before they could hug her.

"Kate, can you wait inside the car for a moment?" Cat requested politely.

The girl looked at her with curiosity. "Wanda did it?"

"I'm about to find out," she looked at Spider-man. "But you definitely got taller."

Peter tried to stop himself from sounding too happy. "Yeah well, I'm no longer a teenager."

Kate left them alone, she also put the scarf over her eyes for good measure. Peter drew out from his pocket the little plastic square he'd brought along, the one he claimed had "their life" and that she now remembered clear as day. It was the present he'd given her on their first Valentine's day.

She saw their moments together: the first birthday and the last, the one where she'd gotten her face smeared with icing from a cupcake Ned, MJ and Peter had bought for her. There were also pictures from Pietro's graduation party, and from their visits to Stark Expo, the first time Peter drove them to school...

"My God... you were right— we were so happy," she said tearfully. "I can't believe I forgot... my happiest time..."

"I'm so sorry, C..." he was looking at her.

"You had to do it, to save everyone," she beamed at him. "Can I look at you now?"

His hand moved up to the edge of his mask: First, she saw his mouth, then the nose, then they locked eyes. He was exactly as she remembered him, and yet something entirely different.

A twenty-year-old Peter Parker smiled at her, eyes teary, shaking lightly thanks to the cold, but so happy she felt her own smile growing at the sight.

"You listened to me," she approached and cupped his face. "Told you you'd grow into your looks, Pete."

The young man laughed, he was crying. "It's so good to see you, C.C."

Their foreheads touched, and without caring about the collar, Cat wrapped her arms around him and hugged him as tightly as she could.

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

@mikaelsonwhxrebae​​ @ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​ @siriuslysirius1107​​ @greengarsstuff​​ @itsyagirl01 @23victoria​​ @espressopatronum454​​​ @jkthinkstoomuch

[adamwatchesmovies]

Scream (1996)

Scream was, and still is, a game-changer for the horror genre. Part black comedy, part satire, part unapologetic slasher film, it’s smartly written, memorable and suspenseful. Written by Kevin Williamson and directed by Wes Kraven, it deconstructs the clichés of the slasher genre and then rebuilds them better than ever.

Woodsboro, California has become a playground for a mysterious serial killer in a Halloween costume. When “Ghostface” (voiced by Roger L. Jackson) begins calling high-school student Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), she wonders if the killings are linked to the murder of her mother, one year ago. Or is it simply a coincidence?

The film wastes no time indulging in the clichés of the slasher genre. The opening scene (featuring a memorable cameo by Drew Barrymore) is basically a summary of every Friday the 13th and Halloween sequel, complete with an isolated teenager targeted by a maniac whose face remains hidden, abundant bloodshed, a murderer that seems to be everywhere at once and an edged weapon. This shows that Kevin Williamson knows what he’s about to tear down. Scream is a movie about people who have seen horror movies. There are direct references to both mainstream classics like A Nightmare on Elm Street and the more obscure horror pictures (that should be classics) like The Howling. The characters are a lot smarter than you’re used to seeing because they've seen the same movies you have. The killer is far less indestructible than you’re accustomed to.

Scream has a very unusual quality. One second you’ll be laughing, the next you’ll be horrified. When Ghostface attacks someone, they get pelted with whatever objects are nearby, they get knocked over, tripped, etc. It makes you laugh but don’t get too carried away. They’ve got murder on their mind and the body count in this film is high. It’s like all these setbacks are making the killer angrier and more determined; like they expected to be untouchable so when they finally tear into their victim’s flesh, the deaths are brutal. Director Wes Craven (no stranger to many of the films referenced in the script) manages to have his cake and eat it too.

Aficionados of the genre will have a great time catching all the references, recognizing the tropes and seeing the formula they’ve seen before and fallen in love with play out like this. What elevates the film - and makes it a dark delight for those who might only have a passing interest in the horror genre - is the mystery. You don’t know who is under that mask. When you think you might have it figured out, you’ll notice something off about the way Sidney’s boyfriend, Billy (Skeet Ulrich) enters the room, or wonder if her friend Randy (Jamie Kennedy) might be obsessed enough with horror movies to go on a murder spree. There’s Matthew Lillard’s Stu, who shows a weird enthusiasm about everything that’s going on that also points to him as a suspect and if he’s in on it, I guess his girlfriend, Tatum (Rose McGowan) might as well be placed on the list. The same goes for police officer Dewey Riley (David Arquette). Could all the teasing have made him snap? The boots we saw the killer don in that one scene are eerily similar to the one he wears… unless they’re just standard police issue, which could point toward Sheriff Burke (Joseph Whipp) as the killer. Hints point toward pretty much everyone, maybe even reporter Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox). That last one is significant. This movie offers much more than just the murders and mystery. You get the sense that even if bodies weren’t falling left and right, there would be a lot going on with the relationships, the anniversary of Sidney’s mother’s death coming up, her murderer being falsely accused according to Gale and more.

A lot of care and attention has been put into Scream. The deaths are memorable and so are the characters. The gore will make you turn away, but there are many laughs and clever bits of dialogue. Between all of these - and the icon the film created upon arrival - it’s easy to overlook the performances, which would be a mistake. Neve Campbell as Sidney is terrific. Everyone is. Whether you’re watching it for the first time and trying to figure out who Ghostface is, or you’ve seen it before and you’re watching to see how all of the little pieces of the mystery pay off, Scream is a great film - and not just for horror hounds either. (On Blu-ray, January 16, 2022)

[arctimon]

Now I’m curious what you’d do for a Peni Parker comic run. I mean, I have my own ideas, but I’m just curious what you have.

The bad news about Peni is that there's so little to go by. She's only been in a handful of comics, and most of them involve the Spider-Geddon and Edge of Spider-Verse events. She hasn't really had a true solo to explore her world. Others from the Into The Spider-Verse movie (Miles, Gwen, Porker, and even Noir) have had solos released after the movie, and yet Peni has had nothing.

The good news...is that there's so little to go by, and that means you can go pretty wild when it comes to possible things to write.

You would almost have to treat it like an origin story. Get some backstory with her dad (which we still don't know who that is, by the way, but we can assume it's Peter)

As we see from her appearances, she has to keep her identity a secret. It must be hard to do that when both of your parental guardians are scientists for the SP//dr project.

Also when your universe's version of Daredevil shows up at your classroom.

I think that would be a nice thing to focus on, especially her Evangelion-esque classmates.

Also, the fact that she hasn't really given herself time to grieve her Aunt May dying would be a great time to explore her Uncle Ben and the company she works for with Sp//dr.

And then, of course, what was hinted at in her latest appearance in Spider-Verse #3:

Nathan Essex (aka Mr. Sinister) and the Weapon Six project.

Essentially, he was using crystals to enhance Class-C criminals and partially mind-control them. Criminals like Kraven, as you can see above. That would go hand-in-hand with building up Peni's rogues gallery, something that every essential Spider-Man (or Woman) must have.

As for who the other members of the Sinister Weapon Six could be...

"Men who can fly?" Vulture.

"Men who can kill with a touch?"  Electro.

"Arms of steel?" Doc Ock.

"Blood of silica?" Sandman.

Combined with Mysterio (who had already been defeated before) and Kraven? That's all of the original founders of the Sinister Six.

Finally, because you have to have it with Spider-Man comics these days, it wouldn't be completed without some more dimensional hopping.

So why don't we have Gwen (who has the Ticket to the Multiverse) show up and cause some shenanigans? Heck, maybe Peni has to travel around with her to solve some problem with the Multiverse.

Or maybe she can just visit her Earth-14123 counterpart (courtesy of @daroszinha). I won't be picky.

(See, this is why I wouldn't be allowed near any intellectual property. It would all come back to Big Hero 6 somehow.)

But there's so many things you can do. I just wish someone at Marvel Comics would do something with her, and not just have her be part of an ensemble of Spider...People.

Give her her own solo.

And not after Into The Spider Verse 2 comes out.

[adventseven]

MORBIUS FILM REVIEW          

Today, I risk my reputation by writing a mildly positive review of a flawed but entertaining movie. Did I like it? Morbiyes I did.

          Morbius stars Jared Leto as Dr. Michael Morbius, Matt Smith as Milo, Adria Arjona as Martine Bancroft, Jared Harris as Dr. Emil Nicholas, and Tyrese Gibson as Simon Stroud.

          Before I go into the pluses and minuses, what I enjoyed, and the misfires I noticed, I want to address the elephant in the room. The second end credits scene is as dumb and nonsensical as everyone says it is. It raises unneeded questions and is a complete character shift for Morbius. Even though the first one is silly, it at least kind of makes sense, and if that would've been the only end credits scene then I think there would be one less problem with Morbius.

          Morbius is nowhere close to the best comic book movie of all time. None of Sony's recent Marvel films have been. One thing Morbius isn't is an unwatchable shit show. Is the script imperfect? Yes. Is every performance great? No. Were the references to other Marvel characters a little corny? Absolutely. Did I enjoy watching the movie? Yes I did, quite a bit at times.

          The core performances of Morbius and Milo were the highlights of the film. Jared Leto's performance as Morbius was better than his performance as The Joker in Suicide Squad. It was still cool to see him do vampire stuff and learn how to hone his powers. The theme of all of Sony's Marvel films is that each hero has a dark side and Morbius fits that theme about as well as you'd want.

          Matt Smith stole just about every scene he was in. His character was basically Morbius if he turned off his morals and boosted his ego. The personal connection between Morbius and Milo did help with the story. Does it follow the trope of a hero's first villain basically being an evil version of himself to a T? Yeah, you bet, but it didn't detract from the film in my opinion.

          The secondary characters in this film, are relatively unremarkable but are not unimportant to the plot. Gibson's Simon Stroud and his partner Alberto Rodriguez, played by Al Madrigal (who is a really good stand up comedian–check him out sometime) are pretty one dimensional. They're your usual FBI guys trying to figure out what's going on with Morbius. They also know about what happened in the Venom movies, so I'll bet they'll be showing up in future Sony Marvel films like the next Venom movie and/or Kraven the Hunter. Dr. Nicholas exists to be the father figure who dies. Dr. Bancroft is the Betty Ross to Morbius's Incredible Hulk. These characters aren’t useless, but are about as interesting as a freshly sharpened pencil.

          It's films like Morbius that point out what I dislike about Rotten Tomatoes. Morbius is not a really bad movie like RT implies with its score. I'd say the C+ CinemaScore is a more apt rating than a 16% splat. To be even more defensive, I'd say that the effects are cool, only some of the performances are mechanical, and the plot is more by the books than nonsensical. Morbius happens in a just-fine way, and a film about a man cursed with vampirism should be a little dark and depressing. I might make some people mad by saying Morbius is of the same quality as 2008's The Incredible Hulk, which has a fresh Tomatometer score, but damn it, I'm gonna stand by what I think.

          To bounce off of that thought into the conclusion of this article, I'd give Morbius a 7/10. It's flawed but fine and definitely not unwatchable. I would rent this film from Amazon when it comes out and not feel bad about it. I still want to see where this franchise goes and what will become of Sony's Spiderman Universe. The only direction the Morbius series can go is up, and–thanks to his power set–he isn't vertically challenged. Just no more end credit scenes please, especially ones that are really stupid.

SCORE: 7/10

By Julian Hayden

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[docgold13]

Some people (like myself) are hoping Cloak and Dagger will return to the MCU and some people even said they should reappear in Spider-Man 4. What are your thoughts on that? I think it be interesting given Cloak and Dagger were introduced in Spider-Man. And I see the two of them as lovers simply because I've always been a fan of interracial dating and want people to love regardless of race. Plus, a lot of their dialogue screams romance.

uhm.. glad you’re a fan of interracial dating. Me too I suppose, in that I wouldn’t be here without it. Anyways, I’d be all for seeing Cloak and Dagger appear in the MCU. Sony is scrapping the barrel making movies about Morbius, Kraven and Madam Web… Marvel/Disney would be smart to loan out properties like Cloak and Dagger, Silver Sable and Black Cat... or even Miles Morales. Because I doubt Morbius will prove the windfall Venom was, but C&D or Miles Morales… that could mean big bucks lining both studio’s pockets.

[the-arkham-librarian]

** repost, don’t reblog !! 

NAME: Elizabeth Catherine Kraven

NICKNAME: Eliza, Liz (only a few people can call her that, if you are not one of those people she will bite your head off), Peach(es) (only by Adam)

AGE: 28

SPECIES: Human (we think)

personal.

MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil

RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Agnostic

SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath

VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice

PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: To help people, bring a little kindness to Arkham Asylum

LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Gaelic

physical.

BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average

HEIGHT: 5′ 11″

WEIGHT: 180 lb.

SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: A couple of small scars on her hands from being scratched by twigs as a child, one big scar on her left shoulder from a rock she hit while surfing

RESTRICTIONS: her kindness often gets in the way, not the best physical fighter

favourites.

FOOD:  Chicken Soup

DRINK:  Lavender and Bergamot Tea

PIZZA TOPPING: Kalamata Olives

COLOUR: Dark Green (and gold)

MUSIC GENRE:  Rock

BOOK GENRE: Mysteries and Fantasy

MOVIE GENRE: Fantasy

SEASON: Winter

CURSE WORD:  Probably fuck

fun stuff.

BOTTOM OR TOP: Technically a switch, but she tops more.

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes

LIKES BAD PUNS: YES

TAGGED BY:  @fatherdamned​

TAGGING:  @e-l-c-kingor​ @quimoritur​ and anyone else who wants to do it!

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

This is the most offensivly ignorant comment I’ve ever had the misfortunte of reading

Unsurprisingly it comes from the King of ‘What you just said is so aggressively idiotic I feel like you just insulted everyone’: RDMacQ. 

For context you need to read this statement from someone else. Whilst I do not agree with this statement I’m not addressing it’s merits or demerits.

“Let me say that I don't like Evil Superman as a concept, but when written well, like Tom Taylor's Injustice comics, where the guy who wrote it clearly has love for the traditional version of Superman and tries to humanize him even at his worst so you can relate and feel for the guy, I accept it, I enjoy it. By that same token, I was always open to Peter/MJ not working out if it was done well, and not done as in the case of OMD/OMIT with the demonstrable intent of slandering MJ's character and making Peter young hip and open to dating younger girls without him coming off as a creep and sleazebag. I am not okay with it happening to preserving Peter's sainthood. I mean the reason I accepted Peter B. in ITSV is that it did that take on the direction the character went into very well. In the case of Life Story #3, you are meant to agree with MJ and she's shown as a moral force, someone who condemns Venom Peter when he is about to kill Kraven-in-Cloth Suit. And of course people need to keep in mind that in Life Story, Reed and Sue didn't work out either, Vision suffers more guilt than even Peter can fathom, Captain America made a bigger and more difficult choice and faces more consequences for his actions than Peter does. So I feel that whatever Zdarsky is doing he's playing fair in the way that other writers don't when they do the story this way. And also tonally, the story is set in the '80s, the age of Watchmen. I think in terms of decade-specific mood and trend, having a story where Spider-man becomes a deadbeat dad worried about not being in prime physical shape and so on...is quite apposite.”

Then we get to RDMacQ’s bullshit

 “Yeah, I find it weird that the main complaint is "This isn't what happened in the original comics" and I'm like "Yeah.... kind of the point!"”

Here is the problem.

Life Story is intended and promoted as a WHAT IF.

 The way a WHAT IF works is that it takes what DID happen and changes variables to explore how that’d impact the outcome.

With Variables A+B you get outcome 1 (the main universe).

 But what if you had Variables C+D? You would get outcome 2.

 Gwen Stacy died so Spider-Man tried (and ultimately refrained) from murdering the Green Goblin.

 But what If Spider-Man saved Gwen Stacy? Then she’d accept him, he’d stop the Goblin, but the Goblin would expose his identity in the interim and thus ruin Peter’s life.

 Kingpin’s assassin injured Aunt May so Peter beat him up.

 But what If the Kingpin’s assassin didn’t injure Aunt May but simply outright killed Mary Jane? Then Peter would directly murder the Kingpin.

 Life Story doesn’t play fair as a What if in the slightest.

 A what if done properly is confined by the parameters of the original story. Everyone still needs to act in character within the context of the new situation as defined by the older stories.

 That isn’t he case in Life Story

 To begin with it isn’t changing just one variable it’s changing multiple. Spider-Man is aging in real time. The events of his life are happening in roughly the same time period they would’ve been published, but not in the same order. The level of realism is drastically higher since Marvel heroes are going to the Vietnam War.

 Characters act arbitrarily differently in ways they wouldn’t do in the context of the new variables. Case in point, why exactly would Norman Osborn pull the scheme he di in issue #2 just because he’s in prison? His plan never made sense. And in issue #4 his plan was even more asinine. He wanted to destroy Spider-Man and due to being too old to do it himself he pulled the Clone Saga and got Doc Ock to attack Spidey on his behalf. But he knew who Peter was, why not just reveal the truth. Doing so couldn’t harm him as he’d already paid for his crimes as the Goblin and his identity was public knowledge.

 That doesn’t make sense. That’s not an opinion that’s just self-evident by the story. The cause and effect of it doesn’t add up.

 But RDMacQ doesn’t believe in that. According to him Norman’s actions are justified because ‘ a crazy person did something that didn’t make sense’. That’s the laziest most pathetic attempt at analysis. And yet this cum bubble of a human being has the audiactity to claim I  don’t analyse.

 To him authorial intent is everything unless he doesn’t like it.

 Because the point is that it’s supposed to be different from canon that means that characters can act in ANY way that’s different. ANY thing that is different is a viable option. Which obviously defeats the entire object of the project. If you are going to do that what is the point of rooting it in 616 canon in the first place? Why rely upon familiarity with the canon universe if you are going to randomly change anything on a whim as opposed to in logical response to a changed variable?

 In doing that all you have accomplished is a weird and unfocussed Ultimate Universe, not a What if.

 But then ol’ Big Mac starts to step up the game.

 “I think probably my issue arises due to certain recent fan outrages, and a lot of the rationalizations and justifications that came from them. The latest episode of Game of Thrones, for example, had a lot of people- and I mean a LOT of people- decrying a character's "Heel" turn and their "Out of character" moments- while at the same time showing a bit of a misreading of the material or the subject matter.”

 Bear in mind when he wrote this the latest episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones was the penultimate episode of it’s eighth and final season. In it, key protagonist, Daenerys slaughtered a whole city full of civilians with a fire breathing dragon and her army. Throughout the show she’d previously been defined as being unwilling to kill innocents on principle, once claiming that each enslaved person in a city was a reason to conquer the city and liberate it’s people. She was so horrified that one of her dragons inadvertently killed a child that she locked them up. She once affirmed that she did not want to be ‘Queen of the Ashes’ amidst her campaign to retake her homeland.

 It’s fair to say the overwhelming majority of viewers AND professional critics took major issue with this and declared it a travesty and out of character.

 Behind-the-scenes stories also heavily point to Emilia Clarke (the actress portraying the character) being upset and disenchanted with her character’s direction.

For my money these two videos are the best examinations of the disaster that was Daenerys heel turn in this episode of Game of Thrones.*

Also please bear in mind the ‘man’ saying people are misreading things is the same man who has continually insisted that Norman Osborn merely wants to kill Spider-Man in spite of me citing examples to the contrary, including this page.

So you know, not exactly demonstrating great analytical skills there. 

“I think it's far too easy to cry "Out of character" when a character does something different, or simply questionable, because it's an easy catch all phrase that sounds like you know something, but in reality it's just a cover for a lack of understanding of things like characterization or plot development.”

Says the ‘man’ who genuinely once said Norman Osborn doing something nonsensical is justified because ‘he’s crazy’.

 Says the ‘man’ who leaned incredibly hard on the idea that Miles Warren in Life Story would not have intervened in Gwen’s marriage to Peter Parker even though his entire character revolves around his jealous obsession over her.

 Says the guy who once said a writer can randomly decide all of Mary Jane’s character development since the 1980s didn’t matter.

 Says the ‘man’ who once claimed Doc Ock at the end of Gage’s Superior run was he real Doc Ock even though he was literally a clone of his mind in a clone of his body…and then he refused to listen to me when I repeatedly spelled that fact out for him. His rationale was ‘Marvel are treating him as the real guy so he is’.

 Says the ‘man’ that in his ‘interpretation’ Spider-Man regarded Ned Leeds as a ‘viper’ after he was revealed as the Hobgoblin, in spite of literally no evidence supporting that interpretation and you know Spider-Man literally saying otherwise multiple times; including in the issue he learned Ned was a villain. In fact when I pointed this out to ol’ big Mac he referred to such things as ‘arbitrary’.

 Says the guy who once said it’s better for stories to be in multi-parters because before the rise of decompression al stories had rushed endings. Remember how Amazing Fantasy #15, The Kid Who Collects Spider-Man, Sensational Annual 2007, The Conversation and When Commeth the Commuter all had ‘rushed’ endings?

 Says the poor excuse for a ‘man’ who once claimed there was nothing wrong with the JMS run having magic but who also lambasted Peter David’s Spider-Man work for involving magic and time travel, even though JMS wrote ASM #500 which is literally about magic time travel.

 What I am trying to say is this ‘man’ has systemically demonstrated immense hypocrisy and stupidity but a staggering deficiency when it comes to literary analytical skills.

 “The movie reviewer Bob Chipman mentioned this in one of his videos where he talked about the problems that a lot of "Modern" viewers have is that they believe because they watch a lot of movies in a year, that somehow makes them film buffs or gives them insight into the storytelling process, when in reality what they are doing is watching all the Marvel movies or all the big releases, and assuming that gives them the same sort of insight that people who go to school to learn this sort of thing do. And I kind of think that's also true of comics as well.”

 Oh boy, is there a lot to unpack here.

 Keeper of the Gate

For starters let’s call this out for what it is. As much as he might be softening the statement by saying ‘kind of’, what he is actually doing right here is GATEKEEPING.**

 He is saying unless you have ‘gone to school to learn this sort of thing’ you don’t COUNT as a critic.***

 Okay let’s dive into that one.

 Schooling ain’t everything

Gone to school to do what exactly? How to make movies? That’s what film school is for right? So you can learn how to write, produce, direct, etc movies. Correct me if I am wrong but film school does not teach you how to CRITIQUE movies.

 So by this logic going to film school wouldn’t qualify you to critique a movie, just how to make them. Except no one argues that. Bob Chipman himself studied film at school and it is from that point of view that his analyses come from.

 So by RDMacQ’s own logic Bob himself isn’t qualified for his own job, let alone RD himself. At which point why does Bob’s words carry any weight at all?

 But wait, we can go yet deeper.

 What if we aren’t talking about film school specifically? What if someone just studied film as their major in college but not strictly film school? Is that good enough to be a film critic or not? If it is are you a lower echelon of film critic?

 What if you minored in film/media studies instead of majored in it? Are you yet lower on the totem pole?

 What if you went to film school but dropped out?

 What if you studied from home and didn’t actually GO to the school itself?

 What if you studied it at A school but pre-college?

 What if you studied it privately outside of an educational institution? In other words a self-taught film student?

 Shit, what about the first ever film critics or the first ever film makers who pioneered techniques and the art form? If they were going through the trial and error of formulating the art form and medium there obviously couldn’t have BEEN film schools back then?

 Do they not count?

 Not to mention the cultural implications of this. If you are an American who attended a French film school are you unqualified to critique American films and only French ones, even if you grew up predominantly with American cinema?

 Let’s change things up a little and look to TV in Britain. One of the most acclaimed British TV writers of all time was a man named John Sullivan. Sullivan created multiple beloved and acclaimed sitcoms, the most famous of which is called Only Fools and Horses. So successful was this show that it was the most viewed TV show in Britain in both the 90s and the 2000s. The latte in particular is an achievement since the show existed purely as reruns in the 2000s sans literally 3 episodes.

 The show had a total of 64 episodes and ran between 1981-2003. Do you know how many of those 64 episodes Sullivan wrote?

 ALL of them.

 And do you know how many of them have predominantly negative reviews? Arguably  just four.

 Not only has the show been positively received it’s been regarded as the singular greatest British comedy of all time, a title it still holds to this day.

 Amidst the praise that the show has received is it’s great characterization, it’s emotional moments and in particular it’s utter command of narrative structure. Not only do the jokes land they land with grace and make the feat seem easy when it’s all over. The cherry on his record was his OBE, an official government recognition of his positive contributions to the arts.

 So you know, this guy clearly knew how to tell a good story. He did like 60 times in a row single handily.

 So when and where did he study film? The answer is, he didn’t.

 He never studied film. His formal education stopped at age 15 when he dropped out of school with no qualifications. Even if he had completed his secondary high school education he’d have not studied film. Film was not on the British curriculum at the time and to my knowledge still isn’t. At best you can study ‘media studies’ starting at age 16-18 before you go on to university. But up until age 16 it’s just not an available option.

 He did go to evening classes for English and read teach yourself books but that was it.

 By Big Mac’s standards this writer who’s been recognized by the government themselves wasn’t qualified to write anything, let alone critique it.

 Additionally let’s consider one teeny weeny little fact. If you’ve lived through the formal education system in pretty much any Western country you have almost certainly been educated on how to gain an insight into the storytelling process. Because that’s a big part of what fucking ENGLISH class is for!****

 MovieBob

I’d say I’m shocked and appalled at RD’s audacity and lack of self-awareness in citing MovieBob Chipman. But I’m not. It actually makes far too much sense.

MovieBob is a broken clock that’s often not even right twice a day. His credibility as a critic and as a human being is also woefully lacking.

For starters RD is a big Spider-Marriage proponent (though he’s recently turned traitor and says he doesn’t really mid if it doesn’t come back). To his credit he has often called out and deconstructed unfair and disingenuous arguments against the Spider-Marriage.

Bob however is staunchly on the other side of that debate.

He’s even said the marriage was never good, came from an illegitimate place, that Spider-Mans imply should never be married and in fact argued that a late Slott era Spider-Man and MJ were more interesting than they were before.

Thus I find RD’s citing of Bob to back up his claims about who is ‘qualified’ to be a critic the height of irony.

But you know, that doesn’t necessarily hurt RD’s argument. Hell, Bob un-ironically believing in eugenics or intelligence testing for voters doesn’t necessarily hurt RD’s argument.

Nor does MovieBob’s weird, weird views on how society apparently punishes the Big Brains like himself of course. Although it’s so telling that an arrogant prick like RD would invoke the words of a ‘brother-in-arms’ like Bob.

 No, what hurts RD’s argument is where Bob was probably coming from with his initial statement.

 See I heavily suspect that RD’s claims about Bob are kind of stem from his interpretations of this video Bob made called ‘BIG PICTURE: PLOTHOLE SURFERS’. Noticeably that video cites this video by another Youtube film critic named Patrick Willems. Called ‘SHUT UP ABOUT PLOT HOLES’.

The sentiments of both videos explicitly or implicitly echo Big MacQuack’s. Everyone is wrong in how they are critiquing movies except them and people like them because they are ‘professionals’ because they went to school.

None of these arguments hold up to scrutiny both due to stuff I have mentioned above but also for various other reasons I’m not going to bother unpacking here. If you want a detailed look at why Chipman and Willems (and by extension RD) are full of shit there are several Youtube videos dissecting their points, particularly Willems’.

However, I’ve found the most detailed to be this video. 

There is also this video where they more directly address Bob’s video.

Fair warning they are long and get less than PC, and yet they do address why the videos don’t hold up to scrutiny.

Self-taught critic

Here is a crazy thought, if you’ve watched all the Marvel movies and big releases every year, why SHOULDN’T that give you a potential insight when critiquing OTHER Marvel movies or big releases? Those things are competing against one another, they are broadly going for the same audience. If you familiarise yourself with them then it is not beyond impossibility that you could mentally play spot the difference in the storytelling and critically evaluate them. It’s almost like in consuming that media you have formulated a CRITERIA which you are then CRITICALLY judging similar such media against.

Hypocrisy

The best part about RD’s statements? He himself has never gone to film school. Nor has he gone to a school specifically teaching him how to analyse comic books nor write them.

By his own logic he has disqualified himself from partaking in critiquing any story, as he did with Life Story or Game of Thrones earlier on.

But the best part?

If you check out the thread this is from and observe the poster called Chase the Blues Away they often disagree. CTBA  points out holes in RD’s arguments and subtly questions his reading comprehension. Entirely separately they also implied they felt GoT’s writing was illogical towards the end of season 8 as well.

Why is CTBA relevant.

Because they actually HAVE gone to film school!

Furthermore, on both Life Story and most other matters related to Spider-Man CTBA and myself have been on the same page, whether this entails agreeing with one another’s statements or by coincidence having similar positions.

Now me?

I NEVER went to film school nor did I study English literature formally beyond age 18. Oh, I’ve read bits and bobs about writing (my favourite being Russell T Davies’ book ‘A Writer’s Tale’). But I have no college level formal education on the craft of writing. My analytical skills were cultivated from my school experiences and a whole load of osmosis and practice.

I have also found myself often on the same page as another person who at least studied English at a college level. They are another poster on the same forum called MacGoblin, perhaps better known as the creator of the (now defunct) SpideyKicksButt website. For many people the site was THE best source of Spider-Man analysis on the web for over a decade.

MadGoblin still participates regularly on a podcast covering new Spider-Man issues and whether or not I agree with all his assessments the manner in which he analyses (with an eye upon continuity) is similar to myself and indeed all the other panellists on the podcast.

One of the former panellists on the podcast (who I have also been on the same page with more often than not) was called Donomark and he too studied English at a college level.

So that’s three people who meet RD’s arbitrary rules for who is a ‘real’ critic. And yet I (someone who doesn’t meet RD’s criteria) have come to mostly the exact same conclusions as they have through entirely independent analysis.

As have other people I know who didn’t study film or English Lit in college.

So, either I’m just an absolute prodigy, or RDMacQ, Willems and MovieBob’s criteria for who can and can’t grasp plot and characters is full of shit.

“A lot of the complaints I've seen is that Peter wouldn't or didn't do this in the original comics. But arguing "Peter wouldn't do this because in ASM #225, on page 11..." isn't pointing out the flaw in the story.”

As always RD is devoid of nuance or appreciating the complexities of things.

If in Life Story or any Spider-Man story in canon Peter acts in a way at odds with his established characterization  which is DEFINED by ASM #225 then absolutely  that’s pointing out a flaw in a story.

Case in point, here is this poorly drawn satire of Superior Spider-Man RDMacQ himself made:

Most of the gags at the expense of Superior Spider-Man in this page was made through the lens of knowing the characters’ past, of knowing what they did and how they acted in older stories.

The confusion over Crazy Town Banana Pants derives from Superior claiming Peter routinely said this when he in fact never did.

Carlie’s suspicions over Superior’s behaviour stems from he fact that the older stories have established how Peter acts and established that Carlie knows how he acts. Therefore Carlie not realizing the truth when she’s been told is illogical. That’s the gag from someone who’s stamped his foot on the ground and angrily refuted that human beings are capable of being logical.

The same is true of this next page too.

Captain America refers to ‘usual’ people involved with the Avengers (super scientists, etc.). Usual means there is a precedent and a precedent can only be defined via a pattern. A pattern of what? A pattern of older stories!

The second panel is bringing up the OLDER STORY ‘Ends of the Earth’ to prove the hypocrisy of Doc Ock

The final panel references SEVERAL past events. The Clone Saga. The Alien Costume Saga. Every time the Chameleon or another shape shifter has impersonated him. Kraven’s Last Hunt.

It’s also referencing the fact that MJ would KNOW about them and even goes really specific by referencing the events of a few pages of one specific issue of Kraven’s Last Hunt. Not the gist of the story, not the climax or the most famous moments. This one scene in the middle of everything else.

RD is using that very specific moment to draw a comparison between it and the events of Superior in order to point out how MJ is not acting consistently.

Almost like she’s, I dunno, OUT OF CHARACTER or something?

Oh, and or the record declaring Peter would or wouldn’t act this way because of ASm #225 p11 is bullshit because Peter isn’t even on that page.

“That's just spouting comic book trivia, which isn't the same thing.”

But referencing events in the middle of KLH which are hardly iconic and immediately memorable and pointing out how MJ didn’t act consistently with them in Superior Spider-Man?

 Oh no, that’s NOT ‘spouting comic book trivia’.

 Can you see the hypocrisy of this creature now?

 Can you see how BROKEN it is to argue a character being established as acting a certain way by an older story DOESN’T mean it matters thereafter?

 And he says I am bad at analysis, Jesus Christ.

 “Knowledge of trivia isn't the same as understanding plot structure, foreshadowing, character development, or knowing or accepting that just because something happens in issue 1 doesn't mean it will stay that way throughout the entire book.”

 First of all the sheer audacity of someone with such non-existent analytical skills to DARE fucking throw shade like this is astounding. That’s like Michael Bay trying to explain how you make a movie with substance.

 Second of all he’s right and wrong here.

 Knowing the history of the characters is not the same as knowing those things.

 But that doesn’t render it trivia because it’s the fucking histories of the characters that define who they goddam are!

 Everyone agrees Spider-Man would not have acted the way he did in One More Day right? And that MJ wouldn’t have acted the way she did in OMIT right?

 Why? Why do people feel the characters would not behave that way?

 Because they read older stories that depicted them acting in certain ways in certain situations that were then contradicted by OMD and OMIT.

 You know like MJ not realising Superior Spidey wasn’t really Peter even though the situation was incredibly similar to Kraven’s Last Hunt and both entailed imposters pretending to be Spider-Man.

 No, knowing the history isn’t the same as knowing all that other stuff.

 But it is undeniably an integral PART of being able to analyse something because if the prior events don’t matter, if they are merely trivia (or worse trivia when he wants it to be but not when he doesn’t) then NOTHING matters.

 Why the fuck should issue #1 matter when reading issue #2? Or issue #3 when reading issue #5?

 What does it matter if chapter 1 established our protagonist as an adult black man with a wife but by chapter 10, with no explanation they are a teenaged white woman claiming they’ve never been married?

 Hey, chapter 1 is just trivia right. Why should that matter?

 By the way, go ask Harry Potter fans if those little details are irrelevant and see how that goes.

 He’s also (unsurprisingly) disgustingly disingenuous in his final point. Yes, things between issue #1 and issue #25 will change. But there is a world of difference between something changing via development vs. lazy contradictive writing.

 Case in point, in ASM #1 Peter Parker doesn’t have a job, is a pariah at school and runs away crying from a failed adventure. In issue #25 he has a freelance job, isn’t running away crying and 2 ladies are interested in him.

 WHAT? Isn’t this a contradiction? Doesn’t accepting this change mean you accept that issue #1 was mere trivia?

 No, because between issue #1 and #25 we saw how and when Peter got a job, those two ladies became interested in him and we saw his skills, experience and confidence grow. The end result is that issue #25 was different to issue #1 because we’d been on a JOURNEY to get us there.

 In contrast in ASM #700 Doc Ock is seemingly turned into a good guy because all of Spider-Man’s memories were beamed into his head, teaching him Uncle Ben’s famous mantra. But in Superior Spider-Man #1 he’s randomly reverted to what he was doing back in ASM #698.

 So that stuff was just trivia? But that stuff was the resolution of ASM #700 and therefore the set up for Superior #1. The latter couldn’t exist without the former and yet it doesn’t make sense.

 And you see that? You see how that cause and effect problem exists? Yeah, that’s PART of critiquing plot structure and foreshadowing. It’s ALMOST like the older stories aren’t merely trivia but actually very important and play a factor  in the other forms of analysis RD listed off.

 Not to mention, the idiocy of saying knowing the trivia doesn’t mean you understand foreshadowing. Motherfucker, the entire concept of foreshadowing is that you establish details in the present because you want to hint at readers about where the story is going to go later. It practically HINGES upon readers remembering that ‘trivia’.

 If ASM #225 p11 had Spider-Man pass by a black cat and say ‘Boy that reminds me of Felicia Hardy.’ THAT would be foreshadowing for the next issue, but you couldn’t appreciate that UNLESS you remembered what happened in ASM #225 p11.

 And the imbecility of bringing this shit up whilst referencing Game of Thrones too? As if Daenerys heel turn was actually foreshadowed and not just created from splicing old voice overs together in the previously segment of the show.

The next bit is in reference to Life Story again by the way.

“I mean, one of the best bits of subtle foreshadowing here is what happens with Peter and Reed's relationship. In issue 2, Peter reflects on how Reed pushed Sue away with his actions, and how he doesn't want to end up like that. But come issue 3, Peter ends up doing just that, despite his best efforts to the contrary and knowing what happened to Reed beforehand. That shows smart plot structure, which doesn't come out and yell at you "THIS IS IMPORTANT!" or hold your hand in any way. That shows that this story is pretty smart with the narrative choices that are being made.”

No it doesn’t.

Because the way in which Peter pushed MJ away contradicted his character and made no fucking sense. He had a mid-life crisis in spite of being well under 40 years old.

Also, you can have, by skill or by fluke, a dash of GOOD writing amidst your shitty writing.

A LOT of people would argue the podrace or Duel of the Fates fight in Phantom Menace were legitimately good sequences in an otherwise bad movie.

People broadbrush 90s Marvel as wall to wall trash but equally everyone praises Spider-Man 2099, Joe Kelly’s Deadpool run, Ron Marz’s Green Lantern run, etc.

Goddammit, 99% of all Doctor Who is fans celebrating the bits that were great amidst the bits that were bad. There are no end of Dr. Who stories were fans will praise the set design or costumes whilst shitting on the over all writing.

Shockingly a piece of media can have good AND bad elements!

Whenever someone says a story is good or bad they are almost always speaking OVERALL. A New Hope is OVERALL good. It’s not claiming there aren’t flaws to it.

Dan Slott’s Spider-Man run was OVERALL bad. Even I have said there are good elements to it.

But the mere existence of good elements doesn’t prove that something is overall one thing or another.

In Life Story’s case, let’s pretend RD is right. Then Zdarsky executed a good bit of foreshadowing.

Key word there: ‘bit’.

It doesn’t PROVE the over all story is smart with its narrative choices.

That’s such an utterly childish  manner of analysis. ‘Well this bit is good that means everything else has to be good’.

Like how the fuck does doing a good bit of foreshadowing prove that Life Story wasn’t mischaracterizing anyone or knew how to tell a good alternate history story?

Shit, DAN SLOTT had foreshadowing, sometimes it was even competently executed. Didn’t mean it wasn’t happening within the context of mischaracterization. 

Trust Bobby Mac to have no grasp  of nuance.

 “But rather than acknowledging that, instead we get stuff like being concerned with that because Gwen finds out Peter's secret identity at the end of issue 1, that therefore means that Peter is going to be hooking up with Gwen throughout the rest of the story, that this is going to be one big Peter/ Gwen book, that Chip Zdarsky is somehow a Gwen shipper because he wanted to just have her as a best friend in Spectacular, that MJ only having two lines in the first issue means her importance will be diminished overall, and that the whole series is going to try and be a rewrite to push that ship.”

None of the allegedly great foreshadowing RD spoke of above was in issue #1

Even if it was nobody could possibly have talked about that as a point of praise because the nature of foreshadowing is we wouldn’t have realised it was goddam foreshadowing until we finally GOT to the bit it was setting up in later issues

RD has been one of the most involved people in discussions about the Spider-Marriage, frequently clashing with a fell named Mister Mets on CBR and on the linked message board. He knows that Marvel from OMD onwards used to spite fans over OMD and the Spider-Marriage and that circa 2019 when Life Story was being released the latest of such instances had occurred maybe just 1 year earlier in Slott’s Red Goblin storyline. He also knows Zdarsky pissed in the well of the Spider-Marriage fans with his FCBD 2017 Spidey story which involved Mary Jane. So for a heavily burned and abused fanbase to suddenly be concerned that Zdarksy would be pushing an agenda was a totally natural and justified reaction to have at the time even if it was proven incorrect in the long run.

RD is being a shithead again. ‘Ugh, look at these overwrought FaNz. wHy CaNt dey celebrate the GUD stuff and not focus on the WRONG stuff’.The wrong stuff being Zdarsky shitting on the Spider-Man marriage, which he clearly did by breaking up Peter and Mj in the 80s when they didn’t break up then but he needed to ship Peter with Jessica Jones I guess

 “Yet here we, two issues later, and Gwen is dead, Peter married MJ and now they have kids.”

And in LF #3 their marriage was in a toxic place and they split up. In issue #4 they get back together but only by Peter giving up being Spider-Man. Almost like the story was saying having a family and being Spidey are incompatible or something.

Shit issue #3 BEGINS with MJ griping about Peter.

 “All the reactionary nonsense turned out to be for naught, since the story was going in a different direction, and just because Gwen was prominent early on didn't mean MJ wasn't going to play an important role later.”

 It wasn’t reactionary nonsense it was entirely justified  reactionary concern. People weren’t concerned that MJ wouldn’t be important but that Zdarsky would be pushing a pro-Gwen/anti-Mj agenda which he at least debatably did and certainly seemed to be doing in the first 3 issues.

 “And yet we still continue to see that reactionary nonsense continue with decrying because Peter and MJ leave off on a bad note here, it therefore means the rest of the series will be an unending slide into misery.”

Which was proven partially true.

Issue #4 Harry dies, Peter quits like a coward.

Issue #5 Peter’s child is crippled, his identity is outted, ben Reilly dies and he becomes a fugitive as a super human civil war breaks out.

Issue #6 the world has turned to shit because of that civil war and the only way to fix it is for Spider-Man to die.

But again, he’s missing the point like the fool that he is.

People were concerned and upset BECAUSE the series split Peter and MJ up in the first place. Both because that defied the mission statement of the series but also because they know Peter and MJ WOULDN’T split up and the circumstances engineering it were fucking contrived shit.

“Which then unfortunately leads into bashing the creator himself, which I find incredibly unreasonable given the tremendous job Zdarsky is doing.”

He didn’t do a tremendous job.

Chase the Blues Away, the film school student, had been saying so and continued to say so after RD made this comment. So I guess by his own metric he was full of shit.

This is one of RD’s fundamental and fatal flaws. He’s a hypocrite. Everything is subjective unless it’s the shit HE likes or hates. Then it’s objectively good or bad.

Not to mention no one had been bashing the creator personally. He can’t grasp this either. He doesn’t grasp the distinction between bashing the work of a writer vs. bashing the writer personally.

E.g. he falsely claims I’ve sworn at him. I have sworn at him…here. On my own blog here I don’t feel the need to play nice.

On a public forum? Never. I’ve sworn in the course of conversations with him. I’ve sworn in regards to his argument but never sworn to attack him personally.

“Decrying Zdarsky as some form of hack because halfway through a six part story he's had the protagonist go through a rough time and that he is just putting out "Fan fiction," or- as I saw someone else argue- that the reason Zdarsky did this was because he himself went through marital troubles at one time in his life is just silly.”

It’s really not. He admitted that he wrote MJ in FCBD 2017 as his ex wife.

Fanfiction is exactly what LF was. Peter hooks up with Jessica Jones because…no given reason. It’d make infinitely more sense for that to have been Felicia but it was Jessica Jones. Zdarsky invents his own personal new spin on the Goblin who’s wearing kewl black because why not. He has characters randomly act in any way he wants for the story to happen regardless of how little sense it makes. That’s bad fanfiction 101. He has logic holes you can drive a truck through. FFS Russia launched nukes on America in issue #3 and this DIDN”T result in all out nuclear Armageddon. That’s amateuris

 “Just like it's silly to say that D&B from GoT are purposefully destroying the show because they hate it and they hate women and they just want to move onto Star Wars,”

This is at worst a strawman.

At best an utterly myopic oversimplification.

The MAJORITY of people crying out against GoT season 8 weren’t claiming D&B were engaging in deliberate sabotage but rather they were ruining the series via their incompetence and RUSHING to get to the end.

Additionally the idea that they are misogynists is REALLY not a ‘silly’ argument. MANY people throughout the show’s history have made that argument, long before the popular opinion was that the show was bad,

A  season 4 subplot that was heavily embellished (to the point of being called practically original) from the books entailed rogue Night’s Watchmen raping a household of women beyond the Wall. The most infamous line from the subplot was ‘Fuck them all to death.’

In that same season Jamie Lannister makes sexual advances on his sister Cersei even though she was saying no.

Sansa Stark, in a scene not in the books, was raped by Ramsey Bolton with the focus being upon Theon Greyjoy’s horror at the situation.

And of course there is ever so slightly a dash of gratuitous nudity involving women in the show.

Look, I’m not even saying for sure that D&B hate women or that that was at the root of how they fucked up Daenerys’ character in season 8.

But it’s idiotic to just dismiss the idea as wholesale silly as Smac a Mac is doing above.

 “when in reality D&B were the reason the show got made in the first place and all those great female characters were brought to television for a wider audience to experience.”

Hollywood had been wanting to adapt George R. R. Martin’s books for years before he let D&B do it

Their first pilot was so bad they had to reshoot it.

They weren’t the reason we got those great female characters. Martin’s writing was why we got those characters and those good stories and why anyone wanted to make his books into a live action property at all.

Again, RD FAILING at nuance. A female character can have good writing AND bad writing. They can be good over all but drop the ball in certain moments. They can be great for 7 seasons but then fumble disastrously at the finish line. An opinion shared by all those critics that went to film school

Writers can be capable of doing good female characters even if they are misogynists. Writers who are not misogynists are capable of still being sexist at times. Friggin Stan Lee had sexist female characters in spite of also inventing Mary Jane who is lauded as a great female character even in the 1960s. Again, nuance. Mac Attac ain’t good at it.

“We can dislike or criticize a work without having to demonize the creators,”

It’s not demonizing D&B or Zdarsky to call them incompetent writers.

“and I think it's just become far too easy nowadays for people to rationalize their statements by making the creators themselves into remorseless villains, since that justifies them acting however they please in response.”

And it’s become far too difficult for me to stomach any more of this piece of shit.

*For what it is worth, these events are also listed on TV Tropes under the Face Heel Turn page:

Daenerys herself falls victim to this in the final seasons. Her actions in Essos had the purest of intentions: fighting against the Dothraki's misogyny and ending slavery in western Essos. Even her morally questionable acts still had these goals in mind. But when she set her sights on conquering Westeros, which is more or less a standard medieval European setting, her only goal was conquest. Even her claim that the Iron Throne is her birthright falls short since her father was killed due to his madness and love of burning things. Dany really doesn't help her case by burning alive any captive soldiers who don't side with her. This culminates with her slaughtering most of King's Landing's civilian population in the penultimate episode. Had the show started with the sixth season, there'd be no question that she is Daddy's Little Villain, her tragic backstory and past heroic deeds being a footnote at best.

**This is especially ironic as he’s accused me of doing the same.

Me, I’ve called people out or corrected them when they have gotten facts wrong. I’ve even said they don’t know what they are talking about. The difference is I’m not doing it just on principal as he is here.

I’ve never said someone doesn’t belong in the fandom or is not a real fan. Yet here RDMacQ is outright disqualifying people from having the legitimacy to critique comic books unless they’ve gone through what he deems the ‘appropriate steps’.

If I have told someone they are wrong or don’t know what they are talking about or don’t understand the material I have corroborative EVIDENCE to back it up. Their own statements prove that point.

E.g. RDMacQ doesn’t understand Norman Osborn’s character. Why? Because his statements contradicts the clear cut TEXT (not the subtext) of the source material. See? The source material is the EVIDENCE that supports my accusation. But RDMacQ doesn’t believe in analysis that way and has told me so himself.

***This laughable in he modern day and age where film criticism is so transparently ideologically driven as opposed to sincerely critiquing the merits of a film.

Hence why Bob Chipman and most other professional critics laud works like the Last Jedi which a fifth grader can see has little internal consistency.

[peachyspaceslvt]

AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON as KRAVEN THE HUNTER

[smokeybrandreviews]

Family Matters

So i was on the fence with this Black Widow movie, man. Seriously, when they announced it, the first thought in my head was, “Why?“ Natasha had been part of the MCU since Iron Man 2. She has been an integral member of the Avengers and a massive plot point in the stories of Tony Stark, Hawkeye, Hulk, and Cap. Like, i cannot stress this enough, i LOVE Natasha Romanov. I LOVE what Scarlett has done with that character. Black Widow, to me, was always a C-List character in the Marvel pantheon but Johansson made her great. Ma was every bit the equal of her super powered counterparts. She thrived as really the only female in a Boys Club, held her own when the ranks fell apart, and then held them together in the biggest L any of the Avengers were to ever take. Her growth was a joy and privilege to watch so upon her sacrifice in Endgame, I was, more or less, content with her narrative arc. And then they announced her one and only solo film. After she died. Once the entire Infinity Saga was complete. Okay. It’s a prequel that takes place after Civil war but before Infinity War. Okay. But why, tho? Why wait so long to give Natasha her well deserved do? Why did she have to die to get her spotlight?

See, the thing about Black Widow is that she has no stories. She has no quintessential arc to pull from. Daredevil has his origin and that whole Elektra arc. Cap has his origin, Civil War, and Secret Empire, for better or worse. Iron Man has SO many, Devil in a Bottle and Extremis immediately come to mind. Hulk (World War Hulk, Future Imperfect, Planet Hulk) and Thor (God Butcher, World Snake, The Ballad if Beta Rey Bill) also have excellent stories to pull from and Pete? Man, Pete has had an absolute f*ck ton of character defining arcs. Spider-Island, Torment, Kraven’s Last Hunt, The Clone Saga, Maximum Carnage, Identity Crisis; Bro, Spider-Man has been through the goddamn wringer! Natasha? Not so much. She’s like Ant-Man and the Wasp in that regard. They are characters that don’t function outside of that Avengers element. So what the f*ck is her story? What the f*ck is her narrative? How the hell were they ging to get me to invest in a character I’ve already satisfactory seen off? And then the concept art leaked and my confidence waned even more.

Bro, you see Taskmaster? Are you serious? What did they do to my boy? I LOVE Taskmaster. Dude is the consummate professional. He’s about as hilarious as Deadpool in a lot of ways. Absolutely nothing to do with Natasha. Tony Masters is a f*cking mercenary. Highest bidder gets his work. He’s not some super villain or ganglord. He’s a hired gun. The f*ck he got to do with an international, clandestine, assassin group? I’m glad my dude is getting the MCU treatment because he needs to be onscreen at least once, but in a film that has nothing to so with him? Okay. So i’m leaning toward pass but they draw me back in with that cast. David Harbor. My darling Rachel Weisz. But it was the prospect of Florence Pugh taking the Black Widow torch going forward that  made me pay closer attention. And I’m glad I didn’t check out because that first trailer was legit but this new one? This new one sold me.

Black Widow felt like a cashgrab when it was first announced. It felt the MCU equivalent to Birds of Prey, kind of like how Feige switched up Serpent Society to Civil War when Justice League was announced. I was going to see it because I’m a Marvel fanboy but, after this last trailer, i actually WANT to see it. I have anticipation for this flick now and it’s crazy. This thing looks good. It looks like it’s well acted. The plot sounds engaging and the little bit of physicality we saw in it was f*cking spectacular. I’m down for Natasha’s solo outing and i hope she gets two more like the boys. I don’t care if they’re flashbacks, just let my girl get her shine.

[geneticmisfit]

Okay but

Have Kraven in the third Spidey movie, but it’s Ana Kravinoff, and she is tormented by the Large Shadow her father, Sergei, has over her ( Papa Kraven was a respected / feared Hunter / Bounty Hunter and everyone thinks Ana is just riding on his coattails ) so she wants a shot to truly prove herself and rise above the Legacy of her father

In comes Spider Man, the brand new Menace of New York City, and PERFECT target to prove Ana’s worth. 

This way you have:

A) A character who is undergoing the same character arc Peter had in FFH B) A new take on a well established comic character C) Sony is developing a Kraven movie based on Kraven’s Last Hunt, have Sergei be the star of that with a cameo from Ana, played by the same actress in both movies. Thus you have a connective tissue between Sony’s Spidey movies and the MCU Spidey. 

[wadewilson-parker]

THE UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #35 RYAN NORTH (W) DEREK CHARM (A) Cover by ERICA HENDERSON • Squirrel Girl may have avoided going to jail, but now Kraven’s a fugitive on the run! It’s been a difficult day! • Can Squirrel Girl stop Kraven and Spider-Man from fighting before it’s too late? • Can a squirrel named “Haskell” be a major part of a super hero epic? • Can Brain Drain use some well-applied existentialist philosophy to save the day? • The answer to all these questions is, “I dunno, MAYBE?” And you’ll have to read the comic to find out anything more specific! • UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #35 is your one-stop shop for a) friendship, b) punching and c) SPIDER-MAN, HE’S BEEN IN LOTS OF MOVIES, EVERYONE LOVES HIM. 32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

[hellyeahheroes]

THE UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #35

RYAN NORTH (W) DEREK CHARM (A) Cover by ERICA HENDERSON Squirrel Girl may have avoided going to jail, but now Kraven’s a fugitive on the run! It’s been a difficult day! Can Squirrel Girl stop Kraven and Spider-Man from fighting before it’s too late? Can a squirrel named “Haskell” be a major part of a super hero epic? Can Brain Drain use some well-applied existentialist philosophy to save the day? The answer to all these questions is, “I dunno, MAYBE?” And you’ll have to read the comic to find out anything more specific! UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #35 is your one-stop shop for a) friendship, b) punching and c) SPIDER-MAN, HE’S BEEN IN LOTS OF MOVIES, EVERYONE LOVES HIM. 32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99