#c: ava silva

[caliphoria17]

[drizzleoftherain]

Liturgia

Chapter 8: Emotional Landscapes They Puzzle Me. The Riddle Gets Solved, and You Push Me to This State of Emergency

Pairing: Ava Silva & Beatrice

Ao3

Author's note: I will be making a reference back to this song and the scene it belongs to. I think if you want to understand the emotional aspect of their conversation then please look through the lyrics/reread the scene in chapter 3, the new scene will be endlessly richer this way.

There’s a playlist and a mood-board.

Saturday, May 3rd. New York City

“Don’t let go!” Ava shrieked as the wheels at the front of the skateboard bounced up sending her backwards.

Beatrice held her by both her hands, standing absolutely still, both feet planted firmly on the concrete floor below them. “I’m not going to let you go, I promise!” Ava’s hands were clammy from both the afternoon heat and fear of being on top of the board, but that was not going to keep Beatrice from keeping her word.

They began to shoot the rest of the video straight out of the airport. With both of them just having time for a quick change of clothing, something more practical for the weather in New York City. She had on a red linen stripe shirt that fell loosely on her torso and denim shorts. Ava wore the same colour Corduroy overalls that cut off mid thigh with a loose cotton white t-shirt. And their hiking boots were replaced with comfortable black Chucks.

Levy and Alice stood around watching them from across the street where the crew all gathered. They were now shooting the portion of the music video that involved the couple spending time with one another and showing that the relationship had turned serious.

They had already shot several scenes earlier in the morning going through a farmers market, where they interacted with the different popup shops and ate biscuits and brownies. And also having a picnic in Central Park, where Ava had rushed to every dog on their morning walk for some head scratches. 

She had filmed a few scenes skating down a street with a different set of clothing. The post-breakup clothing was more moody, representing the inner sadness of the character, but Beatrice couldn’t even manage to pull off sadness with Ava nearby. Every time she tried to appear like a tortured soul Ava would make a silly face, instantly ruining the shot for her. And it must have happened enough times because Alice had to literally grab her by the ear like a child and drag her away.

And now, they were pretty much wrapping up whatever this was with the skateboard, which wasn’t originally part of the story, but Ava got curious looking at Beatrice do it so flawlessly which made her want to try it herself.

“Just put your left foot forward.” She indicated with her foot, tapping the top of the deck, “Here.”

Ava did as instructed, wiggling a little in place, eyes intensely on Beatrice out of fear of looking down. “You say that like it's the easiest thing to do.”

“No, I know it’s not easy, but you have to do it if you want to learn.” She was pulling Ava now, slowly and carefully, ‘You have to trust me, I won’t let go.”

“I do!” The board shifted forward suddenly, Ava gripped her hands even tighter. A pain shot through her left hand, but she bit down, muffling whatever yelp was about to come out. “I trust you.”

(*)

And I never

Saw you coming

And I'll never

Be the same

She stopped moving, coming to Ava’s side, “Okay, flex your knees and find your center.”

“Okay.”

“Balanced?”

“I think so.”

“I’m going to push you forward.”

“WHAT!”

She walked behind Ava, hands coming to her waist. “Stay balanced!”

Ava nodded, adjusting her feet more firmly on the board.

“One…two…thre–”

“WAIT!” The hands around Ava’s waist freeze instantly. Ava’s eyes bore into hers, “You’ll catch me if I fall, right?”

“You’re not going to fall.”

“How can you possibly know that!”

“One…two…”

“Oh my God!”

“Three!” She pushed slightly with enough force for Ava to cover a meter or two of the street. Ava flexed her knees, and by some miracle was still on the board as it came to a stop. “You did it!” she rushed forward grabbing a hold of Ava’s waist again.

It wasn’t long until the arms settled around her neck and Ava bounced off the board. “I did it!” Ava slid down, feet landing on the floor, then they disentangled and Beatrice leaned down to pick up the skateboard.

“We need you guys to change for the next shot.” Levy yelled, their post-breakup clothing already thrown around his body, like a helpless mannequin.

The instructions were clear, they would walk on opposite sides of the streets going about their lives. The camera was situated in the middle of the street and was being pulled by a dolly backwards. The shot was supposed to represent them no longer being part of each other's lives, and seemingly moved on without sparing each other a glance. They shot it a few times, with neither looking towards each other, but something didn’t sit right with Beatrice.

After the scene was finished, they looked through. The thought of not having Ava look in her direction kept circling in her mind. That after everything, not being part of each other's lives was unnerving. It was close enough to correlate to their current predicament and she didn’t want that out there in the universe, even if it was fake.

“What if they looked at each other?” it was Ava who spoke up though, clearly as feeling as agitated as she did.

Alice chanced a glance between them before running a hand across her forehead. “I thought the whole point of the end was that they both moved on.” By now she knew Alice well enough to know the sentence was loaded with inference to her and Ava.

It was what Beatrice had originally wanted for the ending of the music video, but that deliberation now seemed rushed and poorly thought out. Like many things recently, it seemed. “We can change it.”

You come around and the armor falls

Pierce the room like a cannonball

Now all we know is don't let go

Ava smiled, already grabbing ahold of her hand and leading them back to their places for a reshoot. This time, as the camera pulled backwards, at the very last second both of them looked in the direction of one another, leaving the ending of the video ambiguous. 

They’ve stopped for lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant. Levy and Alice are across from her and Ava. Everyone's mouths are full of noodles and there has barely been any time for conversation. They’ve all ordered beef pho and a few side dishes to hold them over until the end of the shoot tonight. 

She’s finding it increasingly difficult not to be endeared by Ava’s chipmunk cheeks and the stray noodle poking out of her lips. “Biiifff iifff sooofff goood!” Ava says mouth full but with such delight that she has to look away.

Levy looks in Ava’s direction, giving her a squeamish look before setting his eyes on Beatrice. “We need to do the last fittings tomorrow and coordinate the thing.”

“Waff fffing?”

“Ava, I am not your assistant. As much as you would like to continue to burden me with your petty requests, I am unfortunately all booked out after today.”

“It has honestly been so nice having you around, Levy.” Alice retorted, in a teasing tone. “I can honestly say it’s been a blessing not having to cater to Ava’s every whim.”

“Yeah, well, I’m spent and no longer wish to be at the mercy of that fiend over there.” Levy recoiled as Beatrice kicked him underneath the table.

Ava turned from her bowl, cheeks still full of food. “Heeeeyffff!”

“Will you guys be just as busy tomorrow?” She’s asking more for conversation than anything else. She’s had Ava’s schedule on her phone for months. She knows Ava will be doing her final fitting tomorrow with Iris Van Herpen before they all make their Met Gala appearance Monday afternoon, on fashion’s biggest night.

The Met Gala boasts the world’s biggest stars and models. It is an extremely sought after event. Usually, only people who are deemed culturally relevant to contemporary society are invited. Robert Wun was their benefactor and Iris Van Herpen was Ava’s. It’s an annual event held on the first Monday in May, marking the opening of the Costume’s Institute yearly fashion exhibit. This year's theme for the attire was ‘Edacity’, and its excessive desire for wealth, power and possession. The band had interpreted the theme differently though. Focusing on over-consumption and its detrimental nature all around them, a sentiment shared by their designer. 

It’s Alice who answers, “We’re doing some interviews in the morning and in the afternoon doing the final fitting.” She bites into a chicken skewer and continues, “There’s also like a get ready with me kinda thing happening with Vogue, which will be frustrating to maneuver, but I’m hoping I can scare off the junior reporter before they get too comfortable.”

“What about you guys?” Ava is looking at her expectantly. 

Levy answers though, “I’m already dreading it, it’s going to be a whole day affair with them. I don’t know how I signed up to assist five people!” Alice and him glance at the final skewer before shoving each other for it momentarily. Levy loses. He huffs in place regaining his composure and continues, “I’ll be surprised if one of them doesn’t murder a seamstress.” He glares in Alice’s direction, threateningly. 

Alice bites into the skewer mischievously before asking, “Will this be your first time going, Levy?”

He answers, the same glare adorning his features, “First and probably last,” which is then shifted to Beatrice in the same threatening manner.

She kicks him under the table again. “Levy! Why don’t you eat your pho!?”

His scowl deepens further as he lowers himself to rub the injured leg. “I’m feeling very persecuted right now! I’ll eat my pho and mourn what you will all take from me soon enough. I will soon be banished from the Met Gala forevermore.”

She shifts to face Ava and Alice, “Ignore him, he’s being a drama queen.” Then, pushes the bowl closer to him testily. 

“I prefer Primadonna.”

(*)

“ Primadonna giiiiiirl, yeaaaah! ” Ava sang to Levy who stuck out his tongue. “ All I ever wanted was the world, I can’t help that I need it all—”

“ The primadonna life, the rise and faaaaaaaall. ” Alice joined, poking at his shoulders.

He rolled his eyes and acquiesced, but couldn’t help but join in as well, “ You say that I’m kinda difficult— ”

“You are!” Beatrice points in his direction.

“But it’s always someone else’s fault!” He retorts indignantly, pointing back at Beatrice.

Something catches Ava’s eyes though because her hands reach for Beatrice’s left hand, alarmed. Ava is running her fingers across the top of her hand, where Beatrice had previously applied makeup. An angry purple bruise is revealing itself to everyone at the table with each rub. “What—“ the words die in Ava’s mouth, she must have realised. “The taxi?”

Beatrice nods. The bruise had been easy to ignore the day after since it was green and slowly spreading across the top of her hand, but today it was a deep purple, running along the length of her hand and into her fingers. She had been applying makeup throughout the day in the hopes that it wouldn’t come through in the music video. 

“Yeah, that probably needs a retouch once we go back to the shoot,” Levy says, while looking through his satchel. “I thought maybe I had something here.” 

“You knew?” Ava sounds upset, with a cadence that Beatrice now recognises as Ava’s protective tone. Her eyebrows have drawn down and she’s looking at the bruise again. She continues to rub at it as if it would magically disappear. Her eyes go from Levy to Beatrice, and Beatrice knows the table’s mood has shifted instantly because Alice is anxiously looking between Levy, Ava and her. “Why didn’t you have this looked at? We’ve had time.” Ava is looking at her as if it’s just the two of them at the table.

“It’s fine, it’ll just take a few days to clear up.” She’s hoping this is enough for Ava to release her hand and control her emotions in front of Levy. 

“It’s not fine, look at your bruise, Beatrice.” Both their eyes look down in sync, the bruise somehow growing bigger and more purple in front of them.

“I–nothing’s broken. It…it just hurts.”

Ava is pulling Beatrice’s hand even closer now, she seems to want to do something, but thinks better of it, face retracting slightly away from the hand.  “You shouldn’t have done that.” 

“What? Kept you from hitting your head?”

“Yes.” Ava breathes out, eyes going to Levy accusingly, “Has she been taking pain medication?”

Levy lifts his brows unsure if he should make a run for it, or not. “I asked this morning, but she refused. She’s very hard headed.”

She somehow couldn’t tear her eyes from Ava’s, which were now looking at her with concern, “Beatrice.” 

There’s something in the way that Ava had just said her name that makes her squirm instantly. Like, she’s messed up. “Medication would have just made me drowsy. I needed to think about the video.”

Ava extended her free hand to Alice, who without any kind of communication grabbed her backpack and procured two pills from a small, clearly labeled medication box. Ava grabbed the pills and deposited them in Beatrice’s right hand before saying, “Nom nom.” And after one fiery look, the pills were swallowed.

“Don’t say nom nom to Beatrice in that context or any other context in the future.” Levy was staring, hard. “Preferably never again in front of me.”

These are the hands of fate

You're my Achilles’ heel

This is the golden age of something good and right and real

As night descended upon New York City and the afternoon rain cleared, the street lights slowly came on reflecting against the rain puddles gathered on the street. They had switched to their ‘breakup date outfits’ which were meant to be more of an Autumn vibe. Ava wore a plaid skirt with a white sweater, and a navy coat. Meanwhile, she wore black pants with a cream turtleneck, and a beige houndstooth jacket.

The crew plus Levy and Alice stood outside the restaurant, cameras ready to take the shot of them angrily leaving through the front door. Ava went first pushing the door into her, and she followed eyes downcast. It only took one take for the door scene. Ava was apparently very good at situational acting, unlike her, but she kept her face down and pretended to be some kind of sad. 

 They were meant to walk to the nearby alley where they would film an argument between the couple. This was the part of the music video that concerned her. It would be the first time that both of them would hear the song together. Up to this point they had shot all the scenes without the music. 

The first verse of the song began to play as she joined Ava in the alley.

She was not the kind of person to hate the sound of her own voice, but right now it was giving her secondhand embarrassment. The lyrics were suddenly unpleasant and cringy in front of Ava. Who was looking at her sadly, the song clearly having an affect on her. 

Every time I start to believe in anything you're saying

I'm reminded that I should be gettin' over it

“Ready whenever you guys are,” The director spoke from beside the camera operator.

Looking off camera, Ava tensed her shoulders and swung back to face her, tears already welling up in her eyes. “Why can’t you just trust me?” Ava uttered brokenly. “Nothing happened between us. We just ran into each other on the 7 train the other day and got to talking. I didn’t even think about it later. That’s why I didn’t mention it to you.”

“Right. You conveniently forgot to mention that you ran into your ex, the one you almost married, the one that got away. I saw the way you looked at each other just now.”

Good. They were going through their lines perfectly. Just a few more seconds of seeing Ava like this and then it’ll all be over. They can go back to not listening to this song, preferably never again. To not have to relive this weird breakup they’ve conjured for the music video. Because as much as she wanted to say that it wasn’t affecting her, it was. It was getting too close to being an argument she’s had in her head for weeks now, which she’s stowed far in the hopes it went away, much like the angry green monster that sometimes bubbled inside her.

“I am with YOU. Don’t you trust me? Why is it your default to always mistrust me? You’re twisting the truth to fit into some illusion in your head. Why is your self worth so low that you think I would cheat on you?” Ava went off script on the last sentence.

What the fuck was that? That wasn’t part of their script. They were meant to just keep going with the whole cheating thing until Ava walked away.

“My–my self worth?” Her eyes skimmed Ava’s back and forth for any kind of explanation.

“Are you really that in your head about everything that you would much sooner sacrifice this than be happy?” Her stomach dropped. This was real. Ava was actively speaking to her about their relationship. She remained silent, too slow to keep up with Ava’s emotions. “I can’t keep doing this.”

She needs to go back to the lines, she needs to get them back on script. “Are you breaking up with me?” 

“It’s what you want isn’t it? You just don’t want to say it.” Ava doesn’t go back to the script, she turns from Beatrice and begins to walk back to the street, where the camera pans to her.

Beatrice belatedly remembers her line again as she rushes after Ava, “Please don’t do this. Don’t leave.”

Ava continues to walk away.

“CUT” The director yells, already shifting to watch the replay. They’re perfectly still for what seems like ages. “We need a few close up shots of just Ava as she’s walking away.”

Ava turns to the alley again, eyes on the paved floor.

An assistant grabs her by the arm pulling her away from the shot. As they continue to record, she can see the tears have run down Ava’s cheeks and her eyes are red and puffy. Her whole body aches to go to her, but she remains rooted to the spot. Staring where Ava had stood. Suddenly she felt the wind come up, a chill ran down her spine, the weather had taken a turn. Beatrice wrapped the jacket tighter around herself. Feeling colder and colder by the minute like the warmth had been stolen from her. 

Levy unexpectedly appeared next to her, clapping her awkwardly on the shoulder “You did good, Descartes. That was heartbreaking to watch. In the best way. Come sit down while we wait to wrap up.” Levy began leading her away, pulling at her elbow. “Stop nibbling your lips! Where’s the damn lip balm? I will not have you embarrassing me at the Met Gala with your chapped lips!” 

—

Beatrice has been pacing the hallway outside her hotel room for the past thirty minutes, and she knows it’s Beatrice because she looked through the peephole after the first few sounds of footsteps. And she knows it’s been at least thirty minutes because that’s how long she’s been standing by the door. For what? She doesn’t know, but something has got to come from this, no one just paces outside someone's room for no reason.

After the music video wrapped she came straight to the hotel room with Alice’s help, who had only looked at her once and realised she wasn’t coping. They ate their room service dinner quietly, and by ‘they’ she means Alice ate dinner while she picked at it, mind deep in thought. They didn’t speak about the shoot, Alice knew why she was upset, there wasn’t any point in talking about it anymore. All she asked was for Ava to have a good night’s sleep. They would handle tomorrow together.

As Beatrice paces outside, her mind continues to pace as well. This wasn’t healthy. They couldn’t just ignore this anymore, not like they had the past 3 days. Listening to the song while beside Beatrice was probably the worst thing she could have done. Putting a face, Beatrice’s face , along with her voice and lyrics, just made everything come together in the most horrendous way. 

Beatrice had kept her distance the moment tears welled in her eyes. Not only that, Ava had lost control. She had lost grip on the moment and resorted to calling out their own situation. Of course Alice would be the only other person present to know what she meant, and maybe Levy who continued to look between them after lunch as if trying to solve a puzzle, but that didn’t mean that it was right of her to do so. 

It had landed so heavily between them the second the words left her mouth. Springing something like that out of nowhere on Beatrice was unnecessary and had probably damaged whatever semblance of their relationship she had regained over the past few days. It was always something that she had been told from a very young age, ‘you feel too much’, ‘you don’t think before you act’, and ‘you lash out like a wounded animal when you’re angry’. She needed to step back from her anger if she wanted to have Beatrice in her life in any meaningful way.

The steps came closer to the door, something that had happened a few times already, each time ending with Beatrice backing away and pacing again. Everything inside her screamed to fling open the door. To talk to Beatrice. To at least let her know she was there waiting, but she couldn’t. This has to come from Beatrice. She was done with initiating anything between them. She couldn’t keep being the one to chase her. 

There was a small thud, basically impossible to hear if it were not for the fact that she was standing in front of the door when it happened. She could hear Beatrice inhaling a couple of times from behind the door as if composing herself. She took that moment to come closer to the door, head coming to rest against the wood, her left hand as well, waiting.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Beatrice’s voice broke as she said it, so low, meant for no one else to hear.

Her heart leapt to her throat. She waited. Waited for Beatrice to say or do something else, but when nothing else came she took in a breath and said, “I’m so angry with you.” She could hear Beatrice take a few steps back, startled. But she stayed close. “Beatrice, I’m so angry with you.” She hates how much pain is coming through her voice. Hates how vulnerable she sounds.

Beatrice comes close to the door, then the light thud again. “I’m so sorry, Ava.” A few seconds pass where she can only hear the light exhales of both their breaths. “Ca–can you open the door, please?” Beatrice pleads, voice soft.

She doesn’t know why she looks to the ceiling, maybe for some kind of divine intervention or for fortitude. Her lips twist, considering her options, but she barely has time to weigh them before her left hand reaches for the door handle, seemingly of its own accord, unlocking the door and pulling it inwards slightly. She puts herself between the doorway and Beatrice.

Beatrice has her hair up in a low bun, strands falling loose and is wearing an oversized blue sweater over a blouse, black pants and boots. Not what you would expect anyone to be wearing close to midnight. “Do you usually make a habit of pacing hotel hallways or–”

“I’ve been inconsiderate.”

“Just that?” 

“I’ve also been mean.”

Mean. How descriptive. 

“Is that all, then?” She can feel her annoyance spike instantly, she knows she should hear Beatrice out, but Beatrice’s face is impassive. “Why are you speaking with the vocabulary of a five year old?”

Beatrice sighs, eyes blinking a couple of times and lowering to look at the floor in askance before they meet hers again. “I’m trying.”

“Try harder .” This time Beatrice puts her hands in her pockets, hangs her head, turns, and begins to walk down the hallway. Panic sets in. She let her anger get the best of her and Beatrice is walking away from a potential conversation. She knows she needs to be patient and let Beatrice come to her, so she pulls the door completely open this time and sets one foot outside in the hallway. “I didn’t say you should leave.” 

Beatrice turns around, stray hairs framing her face, a frown upon her countenance. She extends her hand out into the hall, hoping for Beatrice to take it, lest she dematerialise into a cloud of smoke. Beatrice’s hand intertwines with her own and she pulls her inside, closing the door behind them. 

In the suite the only source of light is the one that comes from a lamp all the way across the small living room and inside the bedroom. She silently guides them both through the room, as Beatrice scrambles to remove her boots, and into the bedroom. She can see Beatrice’s features in the light now, her eyes are adjusting to the low light, and everything seems calmer.

“I don’t know how–I don’t know where to start.”

“Just say whatever comes to your mind first.”

“There’s thousands of thoughts running through my mind right now.”

“Okay. Well, think of me, then say whatever comes first.”

“I adore you. There isn’t a moment when my mind doesn’t stray to thoughts of you.”

“What about the past few months when all you did was ignore me and any attempt I made at communication?”

“Even then.” Beatrice looks wounded. “I know that it’s too late now to take back my actions, but I am deeply sorry for the pain I caused you. I should have at least spoken to you about it.”

“Which actions are you sorry for, exactly? The decision to walk away from me as I called out to you? Or maybe it was the no contact for months, making me think I had imagined it all?”

“I think, no, I thought I was doing what was right for the band.”

“The band? What about what was right for me? For us !? Aside from the sheer disrespect you continuously showed me.”

Beatrice is pacing now, the hands back in her pockets. “That’s not fair, you know how much pressure we’re all under.”

She on the other hand remains perfectly still, hands crossed, “Bullshit. We’re all under pressure, Beatrice. You don’t get to use this as an excuse or something to hide behind.”

“What would you have me do? An apology will not suffice it seems.”

“I just want you to be honest with me, is that so hard?”

“I am being honest.”

“No. You’re not.” She takes a step towards Beatrice, hands coming free from her chest, “You’re saying what you believe you should say. What you think I want to hear.”

“I don’t know how,” Beatrice replies, frustrated.

“Yes, you do.” 

Beatrice’s shoulders begin to tense, “No, I don’t!”

There’s only one way to get Beatrice to come to terms with her emotions. She needs to mention the song to at least begin to unravel the feelings behind it. Beatrice writes about how she feels, she doesn’t say it, and that’s her in. “Tell me about the song.”

“I don’t want to talk about the song.”

“Why? Because it bothers you?” Beatrice nods. “Why does it bother you? Why did you write the song?”

“Because…” Beatrice exhales. “Because I was jealous! Is that what you want me to say? I thought that I was just something that didn’t matter. Something fleeting for you. The thought of you with someone else made my heart ache and all I thought I could do was write a song about it. Because if I busied myself then maybe I wouldn’t call you and I wouldn’t seem so pathetic.”

“How could you not matter to me, Beatrice? How could you think you were just something I would mess with?” Beatrice shrugs and looks away. “I knew how it would look if I went to dinner with him. I was only trying to get your attention.”

“You did it on purpose?” There’s disbelief in her tone and her features are regressing to that blank stare, Beatrice is about to her walls up again.

“No, the opportunity presented itself. I wanted you to see it, to at least call me back upset or angry or something, anything. But you didn’t. You never reached out.”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“What do you want to talk about then? Let me remind you, you, Beatrice, were the one that showed up outside my hotel room. What else did you want if not to talk? So fucking TALK!” Too late to stop herself, Ava realised she had let her anger get the best of her again. 

She watched in slow motion as Beatrice’s face hardened and her eyes flashed. The next thing she knew Beatrice had pulled her hard towards her and pushed their lips together.  

(*)

Todo tembló dentro de mí

(Everything shook within me)

El universo escribió que fueras para mí

(The universe wrote that you would be mine)

Y fue tan fácil, quererte tanto

(Loving you came so easily)

Algo que no imaginaba

(Something that I could have never imagined)

Then, arms wrapped around her waist holding her tightly in place. Hands bunched in her sleeping shirt as Beatrice’s lips tugged and pulled as if searching for some kind of meaning in their lips. And she wants to push Beatrice away, make her talk again, but can’t find the strength to. Because having Beatrice initiate anything at this point is a win. So she winds her arms around Beatrice as well, holding her close. She finds her way inside the baggy sweater and blouse, fingers sliding across the warm skin she finds there. 

fue perderme en tu amor, simplemente pasó y todo tuyo ya soy

(It was like getting lost in your love, it simply happened and now I’m completely yours)

Beatrice doesn’t recoil, if anything her lips become more insistent and she can feel her own lips begin to bruise under the urgency of their desire. All she wants to do is crawl inside Beatrice’s sweater and touch everything her hands can get a hold of. Beatrice has also found her way to her skin, hands running along her back, the sides of her ribs, and stroking upwards. Her legs hit the bed frame, almost losing balance. 

We should stop.

But Beatrice is committed to the task, right hand coming down to Ava’s waist, while the other one lays flat on bed, urging both of them down onto it. It’s terrifying how her body reacts instinctually, tugging at Beatrice’s sweater while still matching her lips ardently. Beatrice breaks the kiss only for a second, earning a pitiful little whine from her as their lips separate. They're both panting for air now. She can feel Beatrice’s exhale on her lips, that’s how close they still are to one another. Every intelligible thought evaporates when she feels Beatrice lean down to bite at her collarbone, then soothing the bite with the lick of her tongue. 

Antes que pase más tiempo contigo amor

(Before we spend more time together, love)

Tengo que decir que eres el amor de mi vida

(I need to tell you that you’re the love of my life)

Antes que te ame más escucha por favor

(Before I love you more you have to listen to me)

Déjame decir que todo te di

(Let me tell you that I’ve given you everything)

Arching back, Beatrice pulls both sweater and blouse off in one go, revealing a simple nude bra and the abs that make her go a little dizzy sometimes when she thinks about them for too long. Ava can practically feel her brain turning into goo. And her heart rate is on the verge of cardiac arrest.

Y no hay cómo explicar, pero, menos notar simplemente, así lo sentí

(And there’s no way to explain, but, just simply know that’s how I felt it)

Cuando te vi

(When I saw you)

Beatrice's eyes are fully blown when they meet hers, inclining herself to grab the ends of Ava’s shirt. The short hairs hit the back of her neck when the shirt comes clean off and she barely has a moment to register it because Beatrice is crawling on her just as fast. There’s so much to touch and look at all at once, and her fingers are working double time, not really sure what to give attention to. Her hands do a full sweep of the stomach, biceps, shoulders and then neck. Once there, hands wander to pull Beatrice’s hair out of her bun, the hair tie joining its pair already on her wrist. She weaves her fingers through Beatrice’s hair, pulling her down into another kiss.

Me sorprendió todo de ti

(Everything about you surprised me)

De blanco y negro a color me convertí

(I changed from white to black to colour)

Sé que no es fácil decir te amo

(I know saying I love you is difficult)

Yo tampoco lo esperaba

(I also didn’t expect it)

Pero, así es el amor, simplemente pasó y todo tuyo ya soy

(But that’s how love is, it simply happened and now I’m completely yours)

Ava notes that Beatrice is not at all shy about what she wants. The hands are exploring everywhere, and so is her mouth whenever they break apart for air. Beatrice’s hand goes to her back, caressing at first, but then searching for something, the bra clasp, but she fumbles, not managing to do what she set out to do. 

Her brain actually short circuits along with Beatrice, who breaks their kiss to look down at the clothing item in question. The other hand joins at the back, pulling the fabric of the bra a couple of times before there’s a resigned pant by her ear.

Oh. 

“It’s–it’s a front clasp.” And she wants to laugh because it is equal parts hilarious and cute, but she won’t, she won't do that to Beatrice. She props herself up on her elbows, for the first time taking in just how out of breath and disheveled Beatrice is, hair loose, cheeks flushed and lips bruised, just like hers. Beautiful . Beatrice actually takes this time to sit back atop Ava’s thighs, regarding the bra with an angry scowl. And it gives her the time to truly think about what they’re doing and were about to do.

They need to stop, she needs to stop this. Not like this. Not while both of them are angry and uncertain. 

Beatrice is inching forward again, lips lazily feathering her cheek with kisses. “We should sleep. We need to sleep, Bea. We’re basically running on bad coffee and anger. And we both have a long day tomorrow.”

Beatrice sits back again, regarding her for a second, not upset, but a little perplexed with the sudden change of events. “Oh…okay. Okay, yeah…I’ll go then,” Beatrice says, already lifting a leg off to un-straddle her, but doesn’t get the chance to move too far before Ava’s hands wrap around her waist, keeping her in place, thumbs caressing the skin there. 

“No, stay.”

“Or I could stay,” Beatrice replies dumbly, eyes still well below eye level.

She leans forward and kisses Beatrice’s nose, because she can. “Good.”

Beatrice flushes red again, but kisses Ava’s nose as well before getting off her.

She’s off the bed as well, grabbing the shirt which had somehow landed on top of their only light source.

“I need something to wear.”

“I’ll get you something.”

“Okay.”

She’s sitting on the bed when Beatrice emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, teeth brushed, hair somewhat tamed and looking adorable in an old Totoro shirt she refuses to part with and shorts. When Beatrice reaches the bed Ava pulls the covers from the right side in anticipation. 

They both snuggle into the duvet, eventually facing each other. It’s Beatrice who opens her arms for her to come close, and she doesn’t think twice about it, already wrapping her arms around Beatrice in a vice grip, legs as well. A thought runs through her mind then, and she reaches over for Beatrice’s left hand around her, giving it a quick kiss.

“Are you going to call me a frog again?”

She takes this time to slide the hair tie back onto Beatrice’s wrist. An action that doesn’t go unnoticed. It felt significant. “I didn’t call you a frog!”

They both chuckle against each other, sleep feeling far away but also nearby.

“I’ve missed being with you.”

She leans forward to nuzzle against Beatrice’s cheek. “I’ve missed you. So much.”

“Mmm…” Comes the sleepy reply as Beatrice’s eyes blink close.

Tilting her head back, Ava’s eyes trace along the lines of Beatrice’s face, across her eyes and nose and her pouty upturned and slightly swollen lips. Her hand reaches up then, fingers running along the length of Beatrice’s cheekbones, tracing the constellations she finds there, against the fine moonlight. 

A soft snore emerges from Beatrice’s slightly opened mouth and a giggle threatens to bubble up out of Ava’s chest, but she manages to suppress it. Shifting closer once again, Ava burrows into the crook of Beatrice’s neck and breathes her in, slowly succumbing to sleep.

Antes que pase más tiempo contigo amor

(Before we spend more time together, love)

Tengo que decir que eres el amor de mi vida

(I need to tell you that you’re the love of my life)

Antes que te ame más escucha por favor

(Before I love you more you have to listen to me)

Déjame decir que todo te di

(Let me tell you that i’ve given you everything)

Y no hay cómo explicar, pero, menos notar simplemente, así lo sentí

(And there’s no way to explain, but, just simply know that’s how I felt it)

Cuando te vi

(When I saw you)

—

Sunday, May 4th. New York City

Blearily, Ava blinks awake, hands searching. All that meets her is cool sheets. She opens her eyes. She’s alone and neatly folded on the bedside table is Beatrice’s sleepwear from the night before.

— 

Beatrice is running. Dodging morning runners, co-workers with coffees in hand deep in conversation, nannies pushing strollers, zig-zagging past frolicking dogs. She had lost track of time and is now late. 

At 4:21am her eyes had shot open. Lying stock still tangled in Ava, her thoughts had spiralled. Frozen immobile by looming panic. What the hell had she done? She had lost her grip on reality the night before and was now kicking herself. In a moment of weakness after the events of the last 3 days and the consequence of being too close to Ava, caught up in her bubble, Beatrice had allowed herself to want. Beatrice was not allowed to want. She didn’t deserve to want, not after how she had treated Ava these past few months. She had made her choice. She needed to put their careers first, she needed to be the stronger one. 

They could not work. They would not work. 

She wanted to move. To put any kind of space between them but found that she didn’t have the strength to. Ava’s rhythmic breathing was calming her and in that moment, she began to feel peaceful again. Ava had tucked herself right under her chin, her puffs of air tickling at her throat. It started small, her right hand unwrapping itself from Ava’s waist, trailing up her back. So soft, barely enough pressure to wake Ava. The hand ran across Ava’s shoulder to her arm where it caressed the skin there. 

Ava stirred, nuzzling closer. “Mmmm?”

Her hand stopped their ministrations, running back down to wrap around Ava’s waist. “Sorry, go back to sleep.”

Ava nodded, placing a sleepy kiss on her neck. 

In that moment all Beatrice could do was pull Ava closer, placing soft kisses on top of her head, soothing her back to sleep.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of laying next to Ava, thoughts flip flopping back and forth, an eternity of convincing herself of what she needed to do, clammy from her anxiety, Beatrice unfroze her limbs. She knew what she had to do. What she must do. Gingerly extricating herself from Ava, she rolled out of the bed, taking care not to make a sound or shift the bed too much. Praying her eyes had adjusted enough in the dark room and that she did not cause a ruckus by bumping into any furniture or tripping over, Beatrice tiptoed into the bathroom and got dressed in her clothes. Treading carefully in her socked feet, boots in hand, Beatrice deposited the folded clothing on the bedside table and carefully observed Ava’s content face and still body, chest lightly moving up and down with each breath. 

This was it. There was no coming back from this. When she leaves, this is the end for them. Ava and Beatrice cannot come back from this. 

She doesn’t deserve Ava. Not after everything. 

Allowing herself one last moment of weakness, Beatrice ghosts her lips over Ava’s cheek. So close but not touching. Goodbye.

With one last look behind her, she slips out of Ava’s hotel suite. Taking a moment to sit down in the hallway to pull her boots on, she fights the urge to scream. She should have left a note. Ava doesn’t deserve to be left without a word, without explanation. But it’s too late now. The door had shut behind her and she couldn’t get back in without disturbing Ava from her slumber. She will text… no, she’ll call Ava later at a more reasonable hour and offer an apology for the way she had left. 

Ashamed and standing up, she begins to run. Running from what she had  done and all she was feeling. Running from all she was losing. She runs down the hotel stairwell, all 18 flights of stairs, through the silent lobby and bursts out the doors of the Plaza Hotel. Seeing Central Park across the road, she runs toward it. After sprinting for what seems like forever, she slows to a stop by Harlem Meer. Veering off the footpath into the nearby bushes, she throws up. It’s mostly bile. While Beatrice had been sprinting, as if she could outrun her demons and the consequences of her actions towards Ava, the sun had begun to rise, marking the dawn of a new day. 

Now, in Harlem, she sits by the edge of the lake and watches the ripple of the water with the wind and the dappled sunlight reflections. There, she sinks ever deeper into her thoughts . Ava will follow where you lead. But who are you? Who do you think you are? Who are you? Who are you to lead her? Who are you to lead them? You are not worthy. It’s like she can hear the echoes of her parents’ voices, her extended family’s voices in her head. Picking at her deepest scabs. 

Beatrice is fucked. Her phone was dead, she has no money and she had realised too late that they had agreed to meet in the hotel lobby at 8:00am to head to their final fitting. With plenty of cushion time to account for New York City rush hour traffic. She is very very fucked. Sprinting back in the direction of the Plaza Hotel, a helpful passerby had answered her frantic query with a “It’s 8:30!”. And she was still only halfway through the Park. She had been lost in her head, sitting by the lake, for over 2 hours.  

Perspiring heavily, Beatrice skidded into the lobby, looking like a deranged maniac. It was a miracle the door people had opened the door for her at all. “Sorry I’m late. I went out for a run and lost track of time.”

Mary is the first to cast her eyes on her, and she’s not pleased. “On a run? Like through the lake? You’re soaked. And in those clothes?”

“Weren’t you wearing that last night before you went on your walk?” Camila asks as well, her attention jumping from her outfit to her phone’s screen probably checking the time. “It’s 8:56, we’re very late.”

Shit.

She’s still wearing last night’s clothing. “I figured it was already dirty so—”

Camila is now actively dissecting her, “I didn’t hear you come in last night? When did you leave this morning?”

“Six-ish, had a lot of energy.”

“You ran for three hours?” Camila was not letting up.

Lilith had now turned to their discussion, a foul smirk on the side of her lips. “Cam, I think Beatrice wants to get away with something. I think you should let her.”

“Get away with what? I’m so confused!” Camila yelped.

Yasmine comes into the lobby, hands waving frantically, “Where is Bea– oh, there you are. The car is here and someone needs to come deal with Levy, he’s yelling hysterically at the driver.”

The ride to the rented studio for the fitting is silent. Mary refuses to make eye contact, Camila keeps looking at her trying to figure something out, Yasmine is biting her nails, and Lilith keeps winking in her direction, but not in a teasing way, more of ‘you’re so fucking fucked when we finish our schedule you fucking asshole’ way, and she doesn’t blame her. 

She did it again. She let herself get carried away with thoughts of Ava and she has once again let their situation affect her obligations. They were late to their fitting. This was inexcusable. She would need to apologise on behalf of the band, especially to Robert Wun who was probably already stressed enough with having to get them all sorted before tomorrow.

“Does anyone have a charger?” She asks in the hopes that either Yasmine or Camila reply.

“So let me get this straight. You didn’t charge your phone last night. Went for a run in your clothing. And came late to meet us at the lobby. And what? You’re now asking for a charger?” Lilith is the first to reply, unfortunately.

“Usually, when someone needs to charge their phone they need a charger.”

“Well, I don’t have one.”

“Thanks for the useless information, you arse. How am I meant to charge my phone with that?”

Mary is turning to her now, “I think you can do without your phone.” There’s a certain look in Mary’s face that says she knows exactly why Beatrice is asking for a charger. “Clearly, it hasn’t been much help today.”

It’s Yasmine who taps her shoulders once the car quiets again, offering a powerbank and cord. 

They take longer than expected to arrive at their fitting, the traffic in New York being the absolute worst. The moment they step out of the car is the moment that Beatrice’s phone finally blinks back to life. Too late . They’re all manhandled upon arrival with clothing being pulled off by impatient seamstresses. She’s stripped bare apart from her underwear and bra in front of her bandmates, but she’s not the only one. They’re all in the large studio being poked and prodded every few seconds. 

Lilith is watching her curiously, with that stupid smirk again, like she knows something. “Is that a hickey?”

It’s loud enough for the others to face her and they’re all gawking now. Looking for the supposed hickey that she allegedly has. There’s heat rising behind her neck and her cheeks feel warm immediately. She needs to look in the mirror but a seamstress is in the way. Her neck is literally doing acrobatics to get a closer look.

Lilith laughs, “I’m just messing with you, but interesting that you scrambled to look anyway.”

She has a half mind to haul Lilith outside by the roots of her hair, in front of the seamstresses and all. “I can see that you’re going to be an utter delight today.”

“I’m just getting started.”

“ENOUGH!” Levy thunders. His face a black cloud. “This is not the time for flippant jokes. We were late, and this is simply inexcusable. You will all do everything that is asked of you today and show Robert and everyone here the respect they all deserve for creating these outfits. Do not forget. It is an utter privilege for you to be wearing this and representing this Fashion House.” Whirling upon Beatrice, Levy looms closer, his voice a threatening mutter, “I will be speaking to Suzanne about today’s events.”

The gown she will wear tomorrow for the Gala is a coat-like dress covered in glass shards, which their designer had said represented love, sacrifice and personal loss. And she wanted to laugh at how on the nose it was. The fact that she would be wearing a dress that so perfectly fit what was going on in her life. An equally fractured headpiece would go along with the dress to keep her face hidden on the red carpet.

The seamstresses helped her into it, holding the dress aloft for her to slip inside, quickly fastening it around her. They set to work right away, pinning any extra fabric in place, and adding last minute shards to more sensitive areas. Leather high heel boots were placed by her feet, and she stepped in, then, came the headpiece. She could barely see through it, and she only had today to get used to the entire ensemble. After months of concepts, fittings, measurement, and adjustments it was all finished. Several rings were placed upon her fingers, being mixed and matched as the designer and his assistants decided which combination perfectly suited the look.

Camila’s outfit was being fitted at the same time, her black and white gown was covered by a massive veil and hat. Beatrice wasn't sure what it represented exactly but it had to do with decay and metamorphosis. Camila stumbled a few times as they attempted to get her inside the knee length heeled boots.

Once they were both finished it was Yasmine, Mary, and Lilith’s turn. They stood nearby, fully dressed watching the other band members go through the same process. Backing away quietly, Beatrice reaches for her phone, cast aside on a table lined up against the wall. Praying noone notices, she chances a glance down at her screen. A notification of a missed call from ‘Do not answer’ at 6:38 a.m.. Shit . She needs to call her back . Glancing up, she meets Levy’s glare and cowers slightly. It will have to wait.

Lilith and Yasmine both had gowns covered in pleated silk, Lilith’s white and Yasmine’s skin toned. Both with trailing veils representing the spirit and the flesh. Yasmine, though, had a terrifying skin graft of a head on top of the veil, which made some kind of sense…Mary’s was her favourite, it symbolised the first snowfall of Winter. It was black gown with a matching veil, which was richly embroidered with crystals emulating iced snow. 

They stood side by the side as pictures were taken of the complete looks. Every accessory, shoe, and headpiece was accounted for and would be set aside for Robert Wun to bring to the hotel tomorrow along with the army of stylists. And tomorrow they would wake at the crack of dawn and get everything put back on plus, hair, makeup and nails.

The sun was beginning to set outside the studio as the traffic outside picked up once again. They had been at the fitting for hours. They had not even broken for lunch, forgoing it in order to ensure everything would be completed. Everything was ready for tomorrow. All that was left was the presentation. They all sat along on the floor of the now empty room. The designer had left it up to them to decide on the final elements of the red carpet and reminded Levy not to worry too much about Anna Wintour, he would deal with her if there was any ill will towards him.

The plan was simple in nature, but could have the potential to spiral if things got in their way. They were to start their walk before the entrance at Fifth Ave at 82nd street, after being dropped off a short distance away. It was all coordinated along to ‘ Fils de joie ’, if they heard it go off it meant that Levy had managed to play it for the outside speakers and they could begin their walk through the red carpet. It should all take the length of the song to do. A song which represented the exploitation of a sex worker, and in this case drawing a comparison to the hard work designers and their team put behind each gown. They would walk one after the other without stopping. Once atop of the stairs before the entrance they would stand next to each other for photos before continuing inside to change for the rest of the night.

The entire demonstration would represent the gowns and nothing else. Not themselves. Not the event. Just the hard work of the design team, outside the influence of what the Met Gala had become, an exhibition of unbridled wealth, power, and possession. They were going to completely go against the theme of the gala and subvert the expectations of everyone around them.

—

Morosely, Beatrice stares down at the amber liquid, cradling the crystal tumbler in her hand. Beside her on the bar top lay her phone, open to Ava’s contact page. It was 6pm. She had survived the final fittings day. The others had dispersed, eager to rinse off the day and head out for dinner. But she had stayed. 

It was 6pm. She had failed to call Ava back. It had now been almost a full 12 hours since Ava had called her. It was too late. Too late to offer an explanation. 

Raising the tumbler up to her lips. SLAM . A hand struck the bar top next to her, startling her out of her pensiveness. Ava’s hand. 

The commotion earned the side glance of the Plaza’s bartender and that of the few guests sitting and enjoying the lobby’s bar. 

Ava reached over and snatched the whisky tumbler out of her right hand. “ You don’t do this . You do not drink Beatrice Young. You cannot start this,” Ava lowly vocalised, anger imbuing every syllable. Ava downs the two fingers of whisky in one shot, grimacing as it burns, quickly glancing down at her phone. “Let’s go.”

With that, Ava grabs Beatrice’s right hand and bodily hauls her off the bar stool, keeping her hand in a death grip, in silence, across the lobby and into the waiting elevator. Ava jabs at the button for the 19th floor, slamming it a few times for good measure. Beatrice stays silent. Her hand feels sweaty in Ava’s hand, the bones in her hand beginning to ache beneath Ava’s clinch but she dare not try to let go. She barely dares to breathe. Chancing a look in the reflection of the mirror in the elevator, Ava’s face is resolute, face marred with a foreboding scowl, her lips downturned and almost white with how tightly they are clenched together. She’s never been more afraid . She can feel the fury emanating off Ava in waves.

The elevator dings as they arrive at the 19th floor, Ava dragging her through the corridor, swiping her key card and shoving her into the room. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” Ava screams, right as the door closes behind her. “Who just fucking leaves someone like that? Without a word? Do you have any idea how it felt!? To wake up to find you had left in the middle of the night? How shitty that made me feel?’ Ava’s hand starts to run through her hair. “What am I? A play thing to you? Have you no respect for me?” She tries to speak, but Ava raises a finger, “No. Don’t answer that. Your actions have shown me enough. You don’t respect me at all.”

 “I’m sorry.” It goes unheard.

“And then I had to go about my day, putting on a mask. Oh. You better watch your back. Alice may just shove you into oncoming traffic. FUCK! You didn’t leave a note. You didn’t text. You didn’t call. You couldn’t even give me that. Even after I told you how it made me feel last night. Even after, even after...”

Beatrice is standing stockstill in the middle of the living room while Ava continues her tirade. Ava’s hands trembling slightly with the force of her emotions, she’s pacing back and forth in front of the door, gesturing wildly, “Y mira esa cara estúpida y perfecta mirándome como siempre, sin nada que decir! En verdad trato de entenderte, pero cada vez me haces lo mismo y ya me tienes hasta la última hostia! Me da una rabia y después recuerdo que eres tú y me arrepiento. No sé de dónde sacas los cojones para arruinarme la vida así, porque no los veo. Joder, mujer, cómo me maldices el día. Y Por qué carajo decía “do not answer” en el nombre del contacto?”

As Ava pauses to take a breath, Beatrice interjects again, “I’m sorry. I meant to call.”

“YOU MEANT TO CALL!? WELL YOU DIDN’T, DID YOU? YOU ASSHOLE!” 

Ring. Ring . 

The hotel landline rings from the buffet table in the living room. Ava storms over to it, picks up the handset and barks out a curt, “WHAT.” Ava listens for a second and then slams the handset back into the holder, ripping the cord from the wall and flings the phone onto the nearby sofa. 

Beatrice swivels and looks towards the exit longingly. Ava clearly notices the focus of Beatrice’s attention and scrambles back to place herself in front of the door.

“Speak,” Ava commands. 

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Oh. My. God. What do you mean you don’t know what to say? You say plenty in your songs? Right? That’s what you do. You hide yourself away, you hide yourself behind your song lyrics. Why? God. Fucking. Dammit. Beatrice. Why are you like this? How have you not imploded yet? Can you not just speak? Talk. Say anything. I want to listen. Please. Just let me listen.”

(*)

All that no one sees,

you see what's inside of me

Every nerve that hurts, 

you heal deep inside of me

Ava quiets. She’s watching Beatrice closely. Beatrice can feel herself breathing heavily, struggling to get enough air into her lungs. “I’m doing the best I can,” Beatrice croaks out in a broken whisper.

At that, Ava closes her eyes and seems to withdraw into herself for a moment. Upon opening her eyes again, she steps into the bedroom and Beatrice loses sight of her. She can hear Ava struggling, which causes her to step into the room. There, she finds Ava trying to undo the latches of the window.

“What are you doing?”

Ava is walking around the bedroom, collecting random objects, a remote, a notepad, loose pens, a magazine. She throws them on the bed then glances back to the open window. “If you need to throw things out so you can be happy with me then I’ll help you collect them. If that’s what makes it bearable for you and allows you to eventually choose me, then, that’s enough for me. That’s enough for now.”

The conversation from months ago passes through her mind in seconds. They were at Ava’s recording studio, just having sung Björk’s ‘Hyper-ballad’ on the piano. They discussed the song and its different meanings. Ava’s interpretation had left her speechless. 

Her eyes were on Ava’s. Surprised to find a kindred spirit. “But it’s really about casting away your negativity, the fear of whatever comes next.”

“Well, yes there’s that but also not carrying everything on your own. It’s allowing yourself to be intimate with your emotions and inner demons and sharing them with the person you love.”

“Wait, but she doesn’t say that at all.”

Ava swatted her arm, bouncing a little on the shared bench, “That’s the point! She’s not sharing her negative emotions out of fear that her relationship will be too fragile to endure it.”

The objects were the representation of the repressed emotions and baggage carried around by the person and the act of metaphorically discarding them was the release. The release to then have the strength to be with the person you love without the fear of losing them because of what they might see in you. 

Ava was asking her to liberate herself so that they could be happy together, even if it was all Beatrice could do for now.

“Ava, you don’t have to do that.”

“You know that you don’t need to carry everything on your own. I’m here for you in any capacity you’ll have me. I want you to share what makes you happy, what makes you sad, all the in-betweens. Everything. Bea, I swear I have the patience. You just need to be honest with me. And I know that right now, that’s not possible, so, this? This you can do. It’s a start.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It’s not that simple?”

“No.”

Ava grabs the remote. “I need you to throw the remote out the window,” She says while walking towards Beatrice. Ava shoves the remote into her chest, for her to take. Beatrice shakes her head, and begins to retreat.

“Throw the remote.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t? Or you won’t?” Ava’s voice is rising again. “Beatrice, throw the fucking remote! If this is what makes it possible for you to be happy with me then throw the remote.” She flings the remote in the direction of the bed. “No?” Rumbles forth from Ava’s chest as she shakes her head in disbelief. Resigned. “Then, go. Just…go.”

“Can I stay, please? I’m sorry if I… if this hurts.”

“Yeah. Well, at least it’s not a flesh wound,” Ava’s voice cracks as she says it. “Go Beatrice. I don’t want to see you right now.”

I feel emotional landscapes

They puzzle me, confuse

Can the riddle get solved?

And you push me up to this state of emergency

How beautiful to be

State of emergency is where I want to be

State of emergency

How beautiful to be

[swftwalker]

FANDOMS MASTERLIST!! (this is long k im sorry)

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ellie williams, joel miller, abby anderson, dina, tommy miller, jesse

• THE BEAR

carmy berzatto, sydney adamu, marcus brooks, richie jerimovich, natalie berzatto, michael berzatto, tina marrero, claire dunlap

• TEEN WOLF

scott mccall, stiles stilinski, theo raeken, liam dunbar, derek hale, allison argent, lydia martin, isaac lahey, peter hale, malia tate, kira yukimura, deucalion, chris argent, cora hale, nolan holloway, mason hewitt, brett talbot, corey bryant

• AGGGTM

pippa fitz-amobi, ravi singh, cara ward, andie bell, sal singh, nat da silva, connor reynolds, jamie reynolds, naomi ward, zach chen

• SHAMELESS

fiona gallagher, lip gallagher, ian gallagher, debby gallagher, carl gallagher, mickey milkovich, kevin ball, veronica fisher, mandy milkovich, svetlana yevgenivna, sandy milkovich

• OUTER BANKS

sarah cameron, kiara carrera, cleo anderson, john b routlege, jj maybank, rafe cameron, pope heyward, sofia

• THE WILDS

shelby goodkind, leah rilke, toni shalifoe, nora reid, martha backburn, rachel reid, fatin jadmani, dot campbell

• THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (s1-2-3-4)

elena gilbert, stefan salvatore, damon salvatore, caroline forbes, tyler lockwood, jeremy gilbert, elijah mikaelson, rebekah mikaelson, klaus mikaelson, alaric saltzman

more... heartless, the sex lives of college girls, hill house/bly manor, bottoms, challengers, normal people, fallout, sweetpea, one piece, derry girls, heartstopper, locke & key s1, mlwtwb, ATLA, manifest, heartbreak high, young royals, weak hero class, SKAM

i'm probably missing things so this will be get updated || if someone you want to request is not in here, you're free to ask me since i probably forgot some people

[danielleitloudernow]

Fandom ask game:

C R I M I N A L 😂

I see what you did there 😏

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Jeid in Criminal Minds. JJ/Reid is stupid to me, and I will always hate it.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Umm...FemShep&Garrus in Mass Effect, Derek&Emily in Criminal Minds, Camila and literally anyone in Warrior Nun

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Probably anything Supernatural, but I can't say I really liked it to begin with?

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Ava Silva from Warrior Nun 😅 she'd be a fucking hoot. Carol Danvers and Valkyerie. Vi from Arcane, Liara T'Soni from Mass Effect because I love her dead wit, Yelena Belova seems like an obvious choice, Kenzi and Tamsin from Lost Girl...I probably have a giant list, honestly.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

Maybe anything Game of Thrones, but again, I can't say I really liked it to begin with?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Honestly? I wish people commented on fics more. Or interacted with authors/artists. Asks (thanks for this one @blackbird-brewster), etc.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I love FemShep/Liara from Mass Effect, Ava Silva/Sister Beatrice from Warrior Nun, Avatar Korra/Asami Sato from The Legend of Korra, Xena/Gabrielle from Xena Warrior Princess, JJ/Emily from Criminal Minds, Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis from Lost Girl, Clarke/Lexa from The 100 (except I stopped watching the show after Lexa was killed), Caitlyn/Vi from Arcane has been fun lately.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Since it's been on my dashboard lately: I'm pretty neutral about Hawkeye and can understand his place in the Avengers. Just because I don't dig Jeremy Renner doesn't mean I can't appreciate the character.

Thanks for the ask! 😘

[canadiankazz]

Thank you for tagging me, @rosettyller! I did this meme a few years ago, but I'm happy to do it again. Hopefully with different songs though. I've tried to go back and find my old answers, but you know how the tumblr search bar is... I only remember the ones I used for the Z's lol.

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people.

C - The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

A - Automatonic Electronic Harmonics by Steam Powered Giraffe

N - No Scrubs by TLC

A - Addict by Silva Hound, etc. The extra song they did for Hazbin Hotel. (The version I've linked has the sad reprise at the end. Arguably the best part of the song.)

D - The Devil Went Down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniels Band

I - I'm Just Ken by Ryan Gosling from the Barbie soundtrack

A - all the good girls go to hell by Billie Eielish

N - Nosferatu by Paul Roland

K - Kings & Queens by Ava Max. (I think I may have picked this last time too... oh well.)

A - All I Need by Matchbox Twenty

Z - Zombie by the Cranberries (I kind of HAVE to use it again. There are only so many songs I listen to that begin with Z)

Z - Zombie Prostitute by Voltaire

I tag @cravatfiend @impossibleclair @webbyghost @anyboli @laurenthemself @crowleyholmes @saintclay @rositalagata @otterlyart @tricksterkat209 @inthefallofasparrow and @itwasanangryinch

[iplbettingw]

Match preview, Sri Lanka women tour of Ireland 2024

Match preview, Sri Lanka women tour of Ireland 2024

Ireland will host Sri Lanka for a two-match Women’s T20I series starting on August 11 at Pembroke Cricket Club in Dublin. Both T20Is will be held at this venue, followed by a three-match ODI series between the teams.

Match Info:

Match: IRE-W vs SL-W, 1st T20I, Sri Lanka Women tour of Ireland 2024

Date: Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Time: 2:30 PM

Venue: Pembroke Cricket Club, Dublin

Venue Guide

Stadium: Pembroke Cricket Club

City: Dublin

Sri Lanka Women’s Tour of Ireland 2024, T20I Series: Schedule:

August 11: 1st T20I at Pembroke Cricket Club, Dublin; 09:00 AM GMT / 10:00 AM Local / 2:30 PM IST

August 13: 2nd T20I at Pembroke Cricket Club, Dublin; 09:00 AM GMT / 10:00 AM Local / 2:30 PM IST

Pitch Report:

Pace Bowling: Average

Batting Condition: Average

Spin Bowling: Average

VENUE STATS:

1st Innings:

Avg Runs: 126

Avg Wickets: 7

Avg Strike Rate: 107.01

2nd Innings:

Avg Runs: 125

Avg Wickets: 4

Avg Strike Rate: 122.25

Weather Update

Temperature: 18°C (64°F)

Precipitation: 1%

Humidity: 74%

Wind: 14 km/h

Weather: Mostly Cloudy

Win Probability

Sri lanka Women: 69%

Ireland Women : 31%

Predicted Scores

If Sri Lanka Women bats first: 135-150

If Ireland Women bats first: 125-140

Prediction: Sri Lanka Women will win the match.

Ireland Women Squad:

Gaby Lewis: Right-Handed Batsman

Rebecca Stokell: Right-Handed Batsman

Una Raymond-Hoey: Right-Handed Batsman

Arlene Kelly: Right-Handed Batsman • Right-Arm Medium Bowler

Laura Delany (C): Right-Handed Batsman • Right-Arm Medium Bowler

Leah Paul: Left-Handed Batsman • Left-Arm Off Spin Bowler

Orla Prendergast: Right-Handed Batsman • Right-Arm Medium Fast Bowler

Amy Hunter (Wk): Right-Handed Batsman

Coulter Reilly (Wk): Right-Handed Batsman

Alana Dalzell: Right-Arm Medium Bowler

Ava Canning: Right-Arm Medium Bowler

Cara Murray: Right-Arm Leg Spin Bowler

Freya Sargent: Right-Arm Off Spin Bowler

Jane Maguire: Right-Arm Medium Bowler

Sri Lanka Women Squad:

Harshitha Samarawickrama: Right-Handed Batsman

Hasini Perera: Left-Handed Batsman

Nilakshi de Silva: Right-Handed Batsman

Vishmi Gunaratne: Right-Handed Batsman

Ama Kanchana: Right-Handed Batsman • Right-Arm Fast Medium Bowler

Kavisha Dilhari: Right-Handed Batsman • Right-Arm Off Spin Bowler

Anushka Sanjeewani (Wk): Right-Handed Batsman

Kaushani Nuthyangana (Wk): Right-Handed Batsman

Achini Kulasuriya: Right-Arm Fast Medium Bowler

Inoshi Priyadharshani: Right-Arm Off Spin Bowler

Kawya Kavindi: Right-Arm Medium Fast Bowler

Sachini Nisansala: Left-Arm Off Spin Bowler

Shashini Gimhani: Left-Arm Leg Spin Bowler

Sugandika Kumari: Left-Arm Off Spin Bowler

Udeshika Prabodhani: Left-Arm Medium Bowler

Head-to-Head: Last 4 Matches

20-Mar-2016: SL Women won by 14 runs

27-Jul-2013: SL Women won by 8 wickets (with 31 balls remaining)

24-Apr-2011: Match abandoned without a ball bowled

14-Oct-2010: SL Women won by 11 runs

Team Form(Last 5 Matches)

IRE Women: W, W, W, W, L

SL Women: W, W, W, W, W

Key Players To Watch IRE-W vs SL-W

Batters to Watch

Amy Hunter (IRE-W): 10 matches, 301 runs, 43 avg, 121.37 SR

Orla Prendergast (IRE-W): 10 matches, 278 runs, 39.71 avg, 118.29 SR

Chamari Athapaththu (SL-W): 10 matches, 492 runs, 61.5 avg, 135.91 SR

Harshitha Samarawickrama (SL-W): 10 matches, 249 runs, 31.13 avg, 108.73 SR

Bowlers to Watch

Laura Delany (IRE-W): 10 matches, 17 wickets, 4.93 econ, 9.88 SR

Arlene Kelly (IRE-W): 10 matches, 13 wickets, 5.46 econ, 12.92 SR

Kavisha Dilhari (SL-W): 10 matches, 12 wickets, 6.36 econ, 16.5 SR

Chamari Athapaththu (SL-W): 9 matches, 10 wickets, 7.28 econ, 14.5 SR

Probable Playing XI Sri Lanka Women Tour of Ireland T20I 2024

Ireland Women Playing XI: L Tucker (wk), A Balbirnie, H Tector, PR Stirling (C), GH Dockrell, Gareth Delany, Curtis Campher, MR Adair, BJ McCarthy, B White, CA Young

Sri Lanka Women Playing XI: Pathum Nissanka, K Mendis (wk), PHKD Mendis, A Mathews, C Asalanka, D de Silva, W Hasaranga (C), M Theekshana, D Madushanka, Matheesha Pathirana, N Thushara

Fantasy Team Prediction IRE-W vs SL-W

Wicket Keeper: Kusal Mendis (SL) - 9, Lorcan Tucker (IRE) - 7.5

Batter: Harry Tector (IRE) - 8.5, Paul Stirling (IRE) - 7.5, George Dockrell (IRE) - 7, Pathum Nissanka (SL) - 8.5

All Rounder: Angelo Mathews (SL) - 8.5, Wanindu Hasaranga (SL) - 9

Bowler: Maheesh Theekshana (SL) - 8.5, Dilshan Madushanka (SL) - 8, Matheesha Pathirana (SL) - 8.5

[chrancecriber]

Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout Lounge (August 30, 2023)

23:59 Rag'n'bone Man - Human 23:53 Sirius & Nyla - Infinity (Remastered Remix) 23:46 Monolink - Don't Hold Back 23:41 Nora En Pure - Diving With Whales (Daniel Portman Radio Mix) 23:38 Hagen Feetly - Cry 23:34 Claptone Feat. Dizzy - Queen Of Ice Queen Of Ice 23:31 Klingande, Stevie Appleton - Sinner 23:28 Mike Candys - Sky (Club Mix) 23:25 Mount & Illian - Fool 23:20 Schiller - Tiefblau 23:18 Sons Of Maria - A Kiss Like This 23:11 Blank & Jones - Chilled Cream 23:07 Above & Beyond - Out Of Time (Original Mix) 23:03 Tiësto & Ty Dolla $ign - The Business, Pt. Ii 22:58 Sean Hayman - See Of Love (Whisper Mix) 22:55 Klingande, Wrabel - Big Love 22:52 Ck West & Sassi K - C Song 22:46 Shakatak - Rio Nights 22:42 Bolier & Leandro Da Silva - Floripa (Extended) 22:39 Nora En Pure - Stop Wasting Time 22:34 Daniele Mastracci Feat. Allegra - Something Great 22:29 David Guetta, Robin Schulz, Cheat Codes - Shed A Light (Blank & Jones Remix) 22:26 Goldfish Feat. Nate Highfield & Dan Silver - Forever Free 22:22 Paul Kalkbrenner - Part Eight 22:19 Jerome & Neptunica - High On Music 22:11 Framewerk - Electric Religion 22:08 Blank & Jones - Coastline 22:02 Beyhude - Rüzgar 21:55 Sweed Feat. Janana - Finally (Holter & Mogyoro Remix) 21:52 Riva Starr Feat. Imaginary - Ride This Sound 21:49 Gamper & Dadoni - My Lovin' 21:44 Lustral - Everytime 21:40 Rodriguez Jr. & Liset Alea - Amplify 21:35 Golden Tone Radio - Glück 21:27 Nor Elle - Silent Storm 21:22 Mr.da-nos - San Francisco 2k20 21:16 Nora En Pure - Thermal (Extended Mix) 21:12 Lenny Ibizarre - The Rain 21:08 Passenger 10 - Serving The World 21:03 The Rhythm Slaves - The Light You Will See 20:59 Bronson Feat. Lau.ra - Heart Attack 20:56 Atb & Topic - Your Love (9pm) 20:52 Aisen - Another Day 20:48 Milk & Sugar Feat. John Paul Young - Love Is In The Air 20:45 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - Erase Rewind 20:40 Blank & Jones - Loneliness (With Bobo) 20:36 Lstn - Sky & Sand 20:31 Atb & Anova - Route 66 20:27 Cats On Bricks Feat. Krysta Youngs - Unstoppable (Dj Karsten Kiessling ) 20:24 George Geccoo Feat. Maik Pinto - Dolce Vita 20:21 Consoul Trainin Feat. Steven Aderinto & Duoviolins - Obsession 20:16 Slackwax - Midnight 20:13 Nihoni - After Sun 20:09 Gitano & Deep Josh Feat. Koo - Residence Lounge 20:05 Kygo With Avicii & Sandro Cavazza - Forever Yours (Tribute) 20:03 Vinai - Hide Away 20:00 Fritz Kalkbrenner - Back Home 19:56 Portishead - Revenge Of The Number 19:53 Edx Feat. Jess Ball - Take Me Home 19:49 Music On Canvas Feat. Tabitha - Upside Down 19:45 Chicane Feat. Bryan Adams - Don't Give Up 19:42 Shouse - Won't Forget You 19:36 Hippiehaus - Galaxy 19:33 Iossa, Ken Holland - The Seed Feat. Iossa (Original Mix) 19:30 Raffa Fi - Ritmo 19:23 Heather Nova - Aquamarine 19:20 Dj Antoine & Dead-line - Shout 19:16 Sean Bay, Mehdi Mouelhi Feat. Arabella - Maktoub 19:12 Milkwish - From The Earth To The Moon 19:08 Passenger 10 - Voices In Her Head 19:05 Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike Vs. Diplo Feat. Deb's Daughter - Hey Baby 19:01 Alok Feat. John Martin - Wherever You Go 18:59 Lika Morgan - Ding Dong 18:56 Ofenbach - Be Mine 18:53 Arty Feat. Cimo Fränkel - Daydreams (Sultan Shepard Echoes) 18:51 Digital Camel - Shine Bright 18:45 Massive Attack - Safe From Harm 18:39 Blank & Jones - Coh 18:36 Duboss - Losing My Religion 18:30 Fous De La Mer - Ocean 22°e 18:23 Nora En Pure - Cognitive Fadings (Club Mix) 18:19 Perfect Silence - Di (Original Mix) 18:16 Parov Stelar - Fire 18:14 Rita Ora - You Only Love Me 18:11 Jubel Feat. Neimy - Dancing In The Moonlight 18:08 Famba Feat. Brando & Mkla - Games We Play 18:05 Nora Van Elken - Sumatra (Lstn Remix) 17:59 Mollono.bass, Ava Asante - Feeling Good 17:56 Robin Schulz & Felix Jaehn - One More Time 17:53 Wave Wave Feat. Lena Sue - Repeating 17:50 Sans Souci Feat. Pearl Andersson - Sweet Harmony 17:47 Mousse T. - Boyfriend (Alle Farben Remix) 17:40 Doyeq & Jay Medvedeva - Break Into My Walls (Armen Miran & Hraach Remix) 17:33 Faithless - Crazy English Summer (Brothers On High Remix) 17:25 Hraach Feat. Iveta Mukuchyan - Sarer Jan 17:21 Alejandro De Pinedo - Raindrops 17:19 Tiësto & Karol G - Don't Be Shy 17:13 Hakan Kayis, Furkan Sarikas, Cinar Gedizlioglu - A Night In Alacati (Original Mix) 17:10 Drenchill Ft. Indiiana - Hey Hey 17:07 Kush Kush & Sickmellow Feat. Kazhi - Blacklight 17:00 David Hohme - Fear Less (Hraach Remix) 16:55 Afterlife - Solstice (Vocal Mix) 16:48 Edx - Conundrum 16:46 Above & Beyond - Quieter Is Louder (Original Mix) 16:40 Trentemoller - Moan (Original Mix) 16:36 Blank & Jones - Sunny (Summer Vibe Mix) 16:32 Daniel Portman - Sensual Desires 16:28 Riccardo Eberspacher - Sunetul De Seara 16:24 Sons Of Maria - Elevate 16:20 Niles Cooper - Lamplight Rains 16:15 Pete Tong & Tale Of Us Feat. Jules Buckley - Time 16:12 Matoma Feat. Jonah Kagen - Summer Feeling 16:09 Lost Frequencies, Janieck Devy - Reality 16:02 Worakls - By The Brook 15:59 Tomas Skyldeberg - Chillin With You 15:56 Rudimental Feat. Ed Sheeran - Lay It All On Me 15:53 Minelli, Filatov & Karas Remi - Rampampam 15:50 Reece Lemonius, Munich Monstrs - Miss You 15:47 Adele - Skyfall 15:43 Lucy Neville - Shameless 15:39 Tycho - Horizon 15:35 Kinobe - The Green Piano 15:28 Le Roy - See The Light Ahead (Extended Mix) 15:23 Schiller - Zukunft 15:20 Sans Souci - Condor 15:15 Thomas Lemmer & Andreas Bach - Embracing Love 15:11 Nick Et Samantha - On The Beach (Original Mix) 15:08 Glockenbach Ft. Clockclock - Brooklyn 15:05 Carstn & Ten Tonne Skeleton - Safety Dance 14:59 Parra For Cuva - The Fifth Hand 14:55 Stepha Schweiger - When I Was A Bird 14:51 Tonenation - Hijo De La Luna 14:46 Nikko Culture - Break My Heart 14:39 Monolink & Zigan Aldi - Fidale (I Feel) Vocal Version 14:36 Hein Klein & Cheyenne - Every Breath You Take 14:31 Ancient Astronauts - Until The Stars Go Out 14:29 Nightcall X Henri Purnell Feat. Eke - When The Morning Breaks 14:22 Marra Kesh Khetama - Sunshine 14:19 Hypnosis - Pulstar 14:16 Karsten Kiessling Feat. Helin - Fight Like A Lion 14:12 Felix Jaehn Feat. Lost Frequencies & Linying - Eagle Eyes 14:09 Filatov & Karas - Au Au 14:06 Armin Van Buuren Feat. Jake Reese - Need You Now 14:03 Frank & Friedrich Feat. Duncan Woods - Coming Home 14:00 Vamero & Lizot - Bleeding Love 13:46 Antenne Vorarlberg Chillout 13:37 Blank & Jones - Grown Minds 13:34 Chaël Feat Kaii - Don't Speak 13:31 Lydmor - Money Towers 13:28 Pulsedriver & Tiscore Feat. Anna Grey - We Are 13:24 Mandala Dreams - Mirror Lake 13:21 Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through The Grapevine 13:16 Schiller Feat. Jael - Tired (Live) 13:14 Alok & Timmy Trumpet - Underwater Love (La Vision Remix) 13:09 Lexy & K-paul Feat. Enda Gallery - Peilschnarte 13:05 Blank & Jones Feat. Zoe Durrant - Adios Ayer 12:56 Blond:ish Feat. Bahramji - Omnipresent 12:54 Felix Jaehn Feat. Polina - Book Of Love (Chris Meid Piano Version) 12:52 Meduza Feat. Goodboys - Piece Of Your Heart 12:48 Alex Breitling - Faith 12:44 Jazzamor - Lovin' You 12:41 Nore En Pure - In Your Eyes 12:35 Amanaska - Tide 12:32 Gibbs - Waiting For Lonely 12:28 Freischwimmer - California Dreamin 12:21 Claptone - No Eyes Feat. Jaw 12:10 Monkey Safari - Hi Life (Cheeky Bold Cover) 12:05 Lamb - Wonder 12:01 Nora En Pure - Morning Dew (Radio Mix) 11:50 Cell - Above The Clouds (Live Version) 11:47 Vize & Tom Gregory - Never Let Me Down 11:41 Paji - Viola (Original Mix) 11:38 Emily Burns - Im So Happy 11:35 Kygo & Tina Turner - What's Love Got To Do With It 11:29 Schiller - Das Glockenspiel (Live Aus Der O2 World Berlin) 11:26 Sons Of Maria - Always 11:22 Jackson Feat. James Yuill - Love Love Love 11:20 Cotone - Faded Glory 11:15 Robert Manos - Silver 11:12 Felix Jaehn Feat. Jasmine Thompson - Ain't Nobody 11:09 Pirra Feat. Lindstrøm & Prins Thomas Remix - Limousine Lies 11:06 Zaz - Demain C'est Toi 11:03 Blank & Jones - Flowing 10:59 Alle Farben & Fools Garden - Lemon Tree 10:55 Schiller & Peter Heppner - Leben... I Feel You 10:50 Schiller Feat. Eva Mali - Ein Schöner Tag (Live) 10:46 Nora En Pure - Enchantment 10:43 Dante Klein & Jordiz Feat. Megan Brands - Life 10:39 Ganga - Living On The Moon 10:35 Jelly & Fish - Appreciation 10:32 Daniel Steidtmann - Annecy 10:28 Eelke Kleijn Feat. Diana Miro - You (Frankey & Sandrino Remix) 10:24 Schiller - Midnight In Shiraz 10:20 Tania Zygar, Sofia Zlatko, Vijay - Wildest Dreams (Extended Mix) 10:17 Hallmann - Always Be 10:12 Kidsø - Fir 10:07 Jazzy Pecada - Slow Down 10:04 The Holy Santa Barbara Feat. Madugo - The Sailor Song 10:01 Zoe - C'est La Vie 09:55 Bent - I Love My Man 09:51 Enui - Adieu (Arielle Lb Remix) 09:47 Cosmic Soul & Tom Novy - Like A Dream 09:40 Gregory Porter - Liquid Spirit (Claptone Remix) 09:34 Consolidation Feat. Moguai - Ode To Joy 09:31 Moby - Lift Me Up 09:28 Loud Luxury Feat. Morgan St. Jean - Aftertaste 09:23 Three Drives On A Vinyl - Greece 2000 (Sebastian Davidson & Melosense Remix) 09:19 Era - Ameno 09:16 Trinix - Vision Deluxe 09:13 Twopilots - Take My Breath Away 09:10 Deepend - Only Love 09:06 Lstn, Arya Noble - Desert Walk 08:59 Nora En Pure - Oblivion (Extended Mix) 08:56 Emmit Fenn - Lost In Space 08:53 Robin Schulz - Never Know Me (Radio Mix) 08:49 Together Alone - Ain't Nobody 08:46 Erik De Koning - Dream Flight (Chillout Mix) 08:42 Brendon Moeller - Emerging 08:38 Jelly & Fish Feat. Amiaz & Tina Welzel - Appreciation (Radio Mix) 08:33 Goldfish - Love Everlasting (Extended Mix) 08:27 Rìfìs Du Sol - Next To Me 08:22 Tube & Berger Feat. Richard Judge - Ruckus [club Edit) 08:15 Boral Kibil & Gulec - Lost Language 08:11 Ambyion - Motion 08:05 Electribe 101 - Talking With Myself 08:01 Daniel Portman - Vulnerable 07:58 Maxim Lany Feat. Freya Alley - Anymore 07:53 Lissat & Voltaxx Feat. Jennifer Kae - Sweet Love (Extended Mix) 07:47 Röyksopp & Jamie Irrepressible - The Next Day (Mind Against Remix) 07:41 Beyhude - Terso 07:37 Kygo Feat. Parson James - Stole The Show 07:35 Dj Antoine Feat. Chanin & Jona Xx - Dancing In Tulum 07:29 Moby - A Case For Shame 07:25 Sum Wave - Backyard Stories 07:22 Dj Antoine & Deep Vice - When You Want Some Love (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k21 Mix) 07:15 Groovecatcher - Intoxicated 07:09 Tebra - Suton 07:05 Blank & Jones - Sunshines Better (Feat. Mick Roach) 07:00 Ive Mendes - Nao Vou Fugir 06:57 Nora Van Elken - Let It Go 06:54 Sanah - Invisible Dress (Maro Music X Skytech Remix) 06:50 Nightmares On Wax - Les Nuits 06:46 Kygo Feat. Will Heard - Nothing Left 06:43 Brando - Don't Call Me (Galantis Remix) 06:39 Mahmut Orhan & Colonel Bagshot - 6 Days 06:34 Passenger 10 - The Lonely Boy Who Wanted To Make Friends 06:28 Deep-dive-corp. - Lucsus 06:25 Sans Souci - Take My Breath Away (Original Mix) 06:21 Mahalo - High Life 06:18 Kygo & Imagine Dragons - Born To Be Yours 06:14 Ac Venture - Rain In Spain (Roberto Sol Remix) 06:11 Sono - Trusting You 06:08 Blank & Jones - Flaming June 06:06 Nathan Evans - Wellerman (220 Kid X Billen Ted Remix) 06:02 Cats On Bricks Feat. Zach Alwin - Planes Over Ushuaia 05:57 Five Seasons - Her Almond Eyes 05:55 Gil Glaze Feat. Dante Thomas - West La 05:49 Twocolors - Together 05:43 Alexander Remus Feat. Liza Flume - Sheets 05:40 Tiësto - The Motto 05:37 Robin Schulz Feat. Graham Candy - 4 Life (Original Mix) 05:34 Bolier & Arman Cekin - Fade Away (Feat. Rhi'n'b) 05:27 Rodriguez Jr. Feat. Liset Alea - What Is Real 05:21 Jasmon - Mountain Peak 05:18 Loud Luxury And Frank Walker Feat. Stephen Puth - Like Gold 05:10 Boral Kibil - Never Again (Bobby Deep Mix) 05:04 Nor Elle - Dubsolution 05:01 Lost Frequencies X James Arthur - Questions 04:58 Julian Wassermann - Painfully 04:53 Boozoo Bajou Feat. Wayne Martin - Moanin' 04:50 Clément Leroux - Memories 04:44 Anrey - We Are The Mirrors (Extended Mix) 04:38 Faro - Dreaming In Orange 04:35 Dj Antoine Feat. Craig Smart - Good Vibes (Good Feeling) (Dj Antoine Vs Mad Mark 2k19 Mix) 04:32 Serafim Tsotsonis - Small 2 04:29 Avaion X Vize X Leony - Pieces 04:25 Robin Schulz & David Guetta - On Repeat 04:20 Roger Shah, Feel, Zara Taylor - One Life (Pedro Del Mar & R.i.b Chillout Remix) 04:12 Hraach - After Dark 04:08 Blank & Jones - High Fly 04:04 Thomas Jack Feat. Nico & Vinz - Rivers 04:00 Kid Massive, Yuji Ono, Dtale - Pray (Wolf Krew Remix) 03:56 Robin Schulz & Alle Farben & Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World 03:52 Croquet Club - Awake 03:46 Christopher Von Deylen - Free 03:43 Sofi Tukker & John Summit - Sun Came Up (Radio) 03:40 Alessandro Taccini Feat. Pierre Soyer - Higher Love 03:36 Melokind - Tiefgang 03:33 Spike - The Golden Eye (Original Mix) 03:30 Junge, Junge Feat. Jamie Hartma - Wicked Hearts 03:24 Schiller - Der Goldene Engel 03:19 Velvet Lounge Project - Dimelo Tu (Mix And Magix Remix) 03:15 Lstn - Thoughts 03:12 Topic Feat. Nico Santos) - Home (Alle Farben Remix) 03:09 The Avener - Fade Out Lines 03:03 Sans Souci - Venice 03:01 Leony - Faded Love (Noøn Remix) 02:57 Air - Talisman 02:52 Dreamerproject - Horizons (Glenn Main Remix) 02:48 Ck West - Aldebaran 2021 02:43 Dk Dent - A Walk In The Park 02:41 Luca Schreiner Feat. Johnny Chicago - Its All Gonna Be Good (Junge Junge Edit) 02:36 Afterlife - How Does It Feel (Original Mix) 02:31 Schiller & Tricia Mcteague - Guardian Angel 02:28 Amely & Lvndscape - Losing My Mind 02:24 Solaris Navis - Blissful Memories 02:17 Hraach & Armen Miran - Nowhere 02:14 Pascal Letoublon - Feelings Undercover 02:07 Djuma Soundsystem - Les Djinns (Trentemøller Remix) 02:04 Tom Staar & Cedric Gervais - Playing Games (Mixed) 02:00 Glide - Y Môr 01:51 Schiller - Empire Of Light 01:45 Röyksopp Feat. Susanne Sundførd - Oh, Lover 01:41 Cecilia Krull - Agnus Dei (Benny Benassi & Bb Team Remix) 01:35 Thomas Lemmer - Fatigué 01:32 Nora Van Elken - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) 01:29 Lost Frequencies Feat. Axel Ehnström - All Or Nothing 01:25 Avira & Kiko Franco Feat. Nathan Nicholson - Ocean 01:18 John Kah - Carina (Enui Remix) 01:13 Rue Du Soleil - Missing 01:09 Tinlicker Feat. Hero Baldwin - Rebirth 01:05 Kygo & Sasha Sloan - I'll Wait 00:58 The Orb - A Beautiful Day 00:56 Colorblast - Message In A Bottle (Colorblast Version) 00:53 York - On The Beach (Kryder & Jenjammin Sax Edit) 00:45 Levitation - More Then Ever People 00:42 Tomas Skyldeberg - Outside The Window 00:38 2raumwohnung - Wir Werden Sehen (Paul Kalkbrenner Remix) 00:35 Gamper - Bittersweet Symphony 00:32 Kamrad - I Believe 00:28 Maomakmaa - Unicorn (Remix By Jasmon) 00:19 Christopher Von Deylen - Heaven Can Wait 00:16 Topic, Robin Schulz, Nico Santos, Paul Van Dyk - In Your Arms (For An Angel) 00:12 Vintage Culture And Rooftime - I Will Find 00:07 Nora En Pure - Trailblazer (Club Mix) 00:04 Gamper & Dadoni - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

[shy-forceghost]

A round of applause to Kristina Tonteri-Young's acting in here because I'll never get tired of watching the details of this scene

I'm certain I've seen something about this somewhere else but I can't find the post so here you have:

I want you all to appreciate the plethora of emotions on Beatrice's body language (specially her eyes) in the "We've lost Mary" scene. She starts trembling when she understands the message, the pain of the news unsettling her so much that she physically reacts to it. Then she realizes she has to tell Ava, and re-adopts her strong façade because she has to be strong for Ava, to support her.

But as soon as she sees Ava's expression (which we as a public can't see) she understands that she's safe with her. That she is allowed to break down in front of her. Ava reacts quickly, it's her who grabs Beatrice into the hug trying comfort her; trying to make her understand "it's ok, you can allow yourself to feel. I'm here".

Imagine how it might've been for Ava to see Bea trying to suppress her emotions even then, she can see her pain and the only thing she wants to do is try to tell her that she is not alone in that; so she goes to the same way Beatrice has comforted her before.

Of course Ava is hurting, too, but in that specific moment she knows exactly what Beatrice needs, which shows just how much their in tune with each other now.

Being hugged by Ava, Beatrice lets go the pain, you can see how much it breaks her.

In addition to that, once she is comforted by Ava, the realization that Mary is actually gone sets in. The sister she's been asking about for months, hoping that she might be safe somewhere, has been dead all that time. You see the shift in her eyes from pain to fear in a brief moment, the moment Beatrice realizes that another one of her sisters (her other role model after losing Shannon) is dead and she is alone now. That's when she realizes she can lost Ava, too. That's the moment that makes her think "You are the only one I have left, and I don't think I could manage to lose you, too".

[bookofmac]

Can we call the Ot5 of Ava/Beatrice/Mary/Lilith/Camila Polynunnery?

[birgittesilverbae]

going so very random here, might be a shitty prompt… Beatrice and JC + run

"Fancy a running buddy?"

Beatrice glances up from tightening the double knot of her shoelace and swallows down a sigh. "Sure," she says, rising easily to her feet. "If you feel like doing shuttles."

"The S&C team has you guys on them too, huh?" 

"We do play the same sport."

"Right, yeah." He bounces up onto his toes. "Wanna put in a couple warm-up laps before we get going?"

"Two," Beatrice confirms, glancing at her watch before smoothly transitioning into an easy jog. JC hurries to catch up and takes position at her side. 

Their footfalls land soft and rhythmic, both well-versed in the art of partnered running. Beatrice turns her focus inwards, monitoring the tension in her neck, her shoulders, her back, concentrating on keeping her jaw loose and her face slack. There's still a hint of a twinge in her right thigh, the deep bruise from a cleat stomp that hasn't quite gone away, but she lets it slip from her mind like so much sand. Focuses instead on the forward swing of her leg, the contact of her toe, the shift of her weight over her stance leg. 

"You this quiet on the pitch?"

She only just has the wherewithal not to stumble, turns her head to find a thoughtful gaze directed back at her.

"Hardly."

"Guess it'd be pretty difficult to run your backline if you were, huh?"

Beatrice hums her response, picks up her pace. He matches easily, legs swallowing up the ground she'd put between them. "Guess it would be," she replies, clipped and distant. She pulls up in front of the bleachers, wipes a hand across her brow.

"Just let me know if I'm talking too much," JC remarks, his breathing a bit ragged already despite the languid pace of their warm-up laps. "I won't take offence to it, I know you can get pretty intense about your training."

She pauses mid-search through her duffle bag and glances up at him. "Oh?"

"Yeah, my girlfriend says you've really been putting her through her paces." Her brows furrow, and he back pedals frantically. "Not that that's a bad thing! She's been enjoying it! And you don't get the captaincy without dedication, right?"

"Your girlfriend?" Beatrice asks distractedly, heading for the pitch with pylons in hand. 

JC trails after her. "Yeah, Ava Silva? She said you two have been–"

"I wasn't aware you two were dating," Beatrice replies coldly. She paces out the distances, drops her pylons, tries desperately to keep her shoulders from climbing towards her ears. "She never mentioned you."

"Oh," JC says, looking a bit deflated. "Well, we are." 

"Congratulations," Beatrice deadpans. She sets her feet on the starting line, darts her eyes over towards JC. "Are you ready?"

"We're already starting?" he squawks, darting towards her side. 

She nods, sinks into the slow burning heat rising in her chest, pulls on it as fuel, as propellant, as impetus. She coils herself, taut as a compressed spring, every line of her vibrating with energy. Her watch joins the quivering fray as her alarm goes off. 

"Three," Beatrice says out of the side of her mouth as she shifts her weight to her right forefoot. "Two." As she cocks her left arm back. "One." As her fuse burns down to nothingness. "Run."

[daisychainsandbowties]

your nonbinary beatrice post, i’m mentally jumping up and down on a bed ala s1 ava

nonbinary avatrice is so damn underrated imo, especially since they both read very trans and/or nd, (beatrice especially ((unrelated but lilith also has autistic vibes for similar reasons to beatrice)

ava is a bit complicated because on one hand it’s very likely she doesn’t care much or at all, and you have that whole queer af conversation between her and chanel about not knowing who you are because you never got a chance to explore or something that’s even queerer knowing that chanel’s actor is trans, and how often being queer and disabled goes hand in hand because of how man & woman is usually defined so much as a cishet white, thin, well off, pro status quo abled man/woman, but also on the other hand, that could also be the very same reason why a disabled person might firmly id as cis and/or with their agab, because of how they’re systematically denied manhood/womanhood because of their disability

and then with beatrice, like aside from the way she dresses, and i refuse to believe the combat habits didn’t make a few nuns realize that they aren’t so cis after all, you have the “people have tried to make me something i’m not. to make me normal. or at least, acceptable*.” and many people will “accept” gay people but only as long as they’re don’t display any gender queerness/gncness and/or transness

(*and obv that line is very easily also or as well interpretable as autistic beatrice, esp w how she displays a few behaviors that could be read as her being autistic, but that’s off topic)

<- first of all i am just yes yes yes about the intersectionality of disability/queerness & how it adds huge good layers to any conversation about nb avatrice. i rlly like the idea of Ava claiming her gender, b/c so often the systems and the institutions and ablism try to infantilise disabled ppl, & that extends to participating in gender, linking right to dehumanising tactics.

& i fucking LOVE Ava really doing gender and doing it her own way and grabbing it and running with it. Ava coming from a place where the ppl who 'cared' for her didn't give a damn about her girlhood. she's been confronted with her girlhood only in terms of pejoratives - 'you're a very x girl'

i am Thinking about the s1 line where we see sister fuck looming over Ava after she gets her period & saying to her 'you're a woman now' & how that is framed for us. just specifically what the entire event of menstruation feels when you are not cis.

ppl telling you that you're a woman (now, suddenly. like, fuck, when did i agree to this. who asked my permission?) and how you can feel your body being reframed and relegated in a certain way by the world and the anguish of that, often the blunt and speechless agony of it because the language that could latch onto what is wrong about the way that woman sits on your skin is unavailable to you

nonbinary avatrice is very mood to me because i think they in general have an extremely gnc thing going on. look no further than the outfits in s2. it is BOTH of them, also. Ava reads very boyish to me (hilariously in a very 'that kid with the band-aid on his nose & the blue shorts from pokemon who runs around on the beach going '!!! my footsteps keep disappearing'. ava silva-core).

there really is something in Ava that resists conventional femininity & i think it is very AVA the way she does it. she's giving the middle finger to it, she's shrugging at it. she's kissing gender on the mouth & girlbossing & also just being a little guy with her baseball cap turned around like ash ketchum. Ava silva 'gotta catch em' all' Silva but with the genders.

& yeah the fact that when beatrice is not in her habit she is wearing very masc clothing, putting her hands deep in her pockets, shirt collar sticking up out of her sweater. the outfit she wears to kick crimson in the face. the outfit from guttural scream fight night. her armour with its bandoleer of knives & her cute little throwing stars you use to hit soft tissues with pinpoint accuracy. the softness and the violence of her.

& you are so right. 'ppl tried to make me something i'm not' - you can imagine beatrice in the catholic school uniform with the pleated skirts and the soft v-neck jumper & the blazer & every teacher saying 'now girls' and 'please, girls' all the damn time. how electric it must feel to her to hear the word boy on her skin.

(& yeah. my first fic which is s1 beatrice POV i literally have a tag that's like beatrice is autistic & that's how i write her in everything. ligaments, star wars au bea they r all autistic. a part of it is... i am autistic so it ends up maybe being a situation where especially in second person it's hard not to write autistically but shrug emoji, i also just think bea reads very autistic to me. i have a whole bunch of my own feelings & opinions on what autism looks like w/ beatrice specifically but that's not for this post)

tldr: yes you are very smart and very right

[foibles-fables]

heyyyyy!! for the writing meta asks: 6, 20, and 23 :)

THANKS FOR THE ASKS BEAN.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

(copy/paste bc it’s a repeat!) HALO BEARER DOOFUS AVA SILVA, 100000%. She’s an absolute joy. And it’s this weird thing where I really did not like her monologuing/voiceover on the show, but her internal monologue is a blast to write. Just a blast. It’s like just...type things and sort it all out later. Her meandering thoughts and specific diction are pretty easy for me to tap into. BUT, she’s also capable of (and delivers) this simple-but-direct poignancy that is a pleasure to draw out and expand. I can’t wait to spend more time with her once we get More Content™.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

HI I LOVE THIS QUESTION. Couple things I can say here and I’m going to say them ALL. 

For multi-part works, I (probably NOT-so-subtly) pick an overarching thematic word that I use at least once in every. single. chapter. And if you haven’t noticed before, you probably will now. It’s just fun for me to smirk about. 

For Weight specifically, I’ve indicated endgame many times in many different ways already! To the point where I’m surprised that nobody has called me out on what’s to come, yet. Looking forward to getting there, in any case. Also for Weight re: development. I’ve been having evil fun flipping the stage on C/K and worthy vs. unworthy and making Kahlan suck. She won’t suck forever, promise, but oh man is struggle!Kahlan enjoyable to write. 

For Warrior Nun, I’m just having fun playing in the Catholic symbolism sandbox and making those thirteen years of Catholic school worth it. All for the queer nuns, man. All for the queer nuns.

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

It’s probably Weight!! Been brewing in my single-digit brain cells since 2010 babeeeyyy. Though it was originally meant to be a 3-4 part fic (um, story of my life, Warrior Nun fandom WILL roast me for revealing that) and has grown into another beast entirely. 

If not Weight, there’s another Seeker story which I conceived for the 2010 Big Bang...but never panned out for me because getting ready for college ended up being a HUGE time suck (who knew??? also I Am Old). The plot of it had me by the proverbial balls, though, and still nags at me sometimes. I think it would make for a GREAT story, but is probably not entirely worth my effort now and doesn’t match the wants of the decade-later fandom (mostly gen and canon Richard/Kahlan with a twist, with only the SLIGHTEST hints of Cara/Kahlan if one were to squint so hard they would sprain their eyelids). Some of the lingering ideas are being scrambled and repurposed for Weight, but it’s definitely still fun to spend head time with that plot, sometimes.

[elle-subterfuge]

Fandom: Warrior Nun (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva, pre-Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun) Additional Tags: Femslash, Canon Lesbian Character, Action/Adventure, Action & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship Series: Part 9 of The Nun's Nest Summary: It’s time for the Sister Warriors to begin Phase 1 of Plan C; things do not go exactly according to plan.

[buchoterra]

NOMES ESTRANHOS

Abecê Nogueira Abrilina Décima Nona Caçapavana Piratininga de Almeida, Abxivispro Jacinto, Acheropita Papazone Adalgamir Marge, Adam Borda Bunda Adegesto Pataca, Adelícia de Carvalho Adoração Arabites (masculino), Aeronauta Barata, Agrícola Beterraba Areia Leão, Agrícola da Terra Fonseca Alce Barbuda, Aldegunda Carames More (masculino), Aleluia Sarango, Além Mar Paranhos Alfredo Prazeirozo Texugueiro, Alma de Vera, Amado Amoroso, Amaré Marinno Amável Pinto, Amazonas Rio do Brasil Pimpão, América do Sul Brasil de Santana, Amin Amou Amado, Amor de Deus Rosales Brasil (feminino) Ana Maria Mosca Analgesina Costa Pinto Anatalino Reguete Andrés Urdangarin Dorronsoro Angústias Árias Antenor da Cotinha Antônio Americano do Brasil Mineiro, Antonio Buceta Agudim, Antonio Camisão, Antonio Dodói, Antonio Donizete Bobo Antônio Ernane Cacique de New York Antonio Manso Pacífico de Oliveira Sossegado, Antonio Melhorança Antônio Morrendo das Dores Antônio Noites e Dias Antônio P Testa Antônio Pechincha Antônio Querido Fracasso Antonio Treze de Junho de Mil Novecentos e Dezessete, Antônio Veado Prematuro, Antoniozin Fogaça Apurinã da Floresta Brasileira Araci do Precioso Sangue Argentino Argenta, Argonauta Sucupira Aricléia Café Chá, Armando Nascimento de Jesus Arnaldo Queijo Arquibaldo Nana do Mercado, Arquiteclínio Petrocoquínio de Andrade, Asteróide Silverio Audobrantina Moema Cearenciana Ausêncio Nogueira Ava Gina (em homenagem a Ava Gardner e Gina Lolobrigida) Avise da Costa B Bananéia Oliveira de Deus Bandeirante do Brasil Paulistano, Barrigudinha Seleida, Bende Sande Branquinho Maracajá Benedito Autor da Purificação Benedito Camurça Aveludado Benedito Frôscolo Jovino de Almeida Aimbaré Militão de Souza Baruel de Itaparica Boré Fomi de Tucunduvá, Benemérita do Rêgo Grande Benigna Jarra Benvinda Olga Benvindo Viola Bispo de Paris Bizarro Assada Boaventura Torrada Bom Filho Persegonha Brandamente Brasil Brasil Paraná de Cristo Brasil Valente Brasil Washington C A Júnior Brígida de Samora Mora Belderagas Piruégas, Brizabela Alves Bronsibel Ribeiro de Sena Bucetildes (chamada, pelos familiares, de Dona Tide), C Cafiaspirina Cruz Caius Marcius Africanus Capote Valente e Marimbondo da Trindade Carabino Tiro Certo Carlos Alberto Santíssimo Sacramento Cantinho da Vila Alencar da Corte Real Sampaio Carneiro de Souza e Faro Caso Raro Yamada Cavalo Antônio Celene Lua Céu Azul do Sol Poente Chananeco Vargas da Silva Chevrolet da Silva Ford Cibele Sol Cincero do Nascimento Cinconegue Washington Matos Clarisbadeu Braz da Silva Colapso Cardíaco da Silva Cólica de Jesus Comigo é Nove na Garrucha Trouxada Confessoura Dornelles Crisoprasso Compasso D Danúbio Tarada Duarte Darcília Abraços de Carvalho Santinho David Leão Pão Trigo Delícia Costa Melo Demetre Louca Louscos Deus É Infinitamente Misericordioso Deus Magda Silva Deus Quer Magalhães Mota Deusarina Venus de Milo Dezêncio Feverêncio de Oitenta e Cinco Diana Soppa Dignatario da Ordem Imperial do Cruzeiro Dilke de La Roque Pinho Dinossauro Carlos da Silva Disney Chaplin Milhomem de Souza Diva Gina Santos Divina Anunciação Dolores Fuertes de Barriga Dosolina Piroca Tazinasso Drágica Broko E Edna Boa Sorte Elacervandro Gomes Eliene Bubina Emerson Capaz Eraldonclóbes Ericssom Leão Ernesto Segundo da Família Lima Esdras Esdron Eustaquio Obirapitanga Esparadrapo Clemente de Sá Espere em Deus Mateus Estácio Ponta Fina Amolador Éter Sulfúrico Amazonino Rios Eulâmpio Araújo Euridice Boa Morte da Costa Eva Gina Melo Excelsa Teresinha do Menino Jesus da Costa e Silva F Faraó do Egito de Souza Fé Esperança e Caridade Fé Lobão Fedir Lenho Felicidade do Lar Brasileiro Finólila Piaubilina Flávio Cavalcante Rei da Televisão Foca Bilota Francisco Notório Milhão Francisco Zebedeu Sanguessuga Francisoreia Doroteia Dorida Fridundino Eulâmpio G Galenogal de Silva Gelsomino Danzo Gengis Khan Camargo Gerunda Gerundina Pif Paf Gigle Catabriga Gilete Queiroga de Castro Gnazzula Nilo Gol Santana Silva Graciosa Rodela D'alho H Harmonia Jacintho Hepotamedes Maria Good God Heubler Janota Hidráulico Oliveira Himineu Casamenticio das Dores Conjugais Hiprafodito da Silva Holofontina Fufucas Homem Bom da Cunha Souto Maior Honesta Honestina Maria de Souza Horinando Pedroso Ramos Hugo Madeira de Lei Aroeiro Hypotenusa Pereira I Ilegível Inilegível Inocêncio Coitadinho Sossegado Irisdelfane Clei Isabel Defensora de Jesus Isabel Rainha da Hungria Portugal Silva J Jacinto Fadigas Arranhado Jacinto Leite Aquino Rêgo Jacinto Pinto Jamaika Bem Janeiro Fevereiro de Março Abril Jasmin Pitanga João Bebe Água João Bispo de Roma João Cara de José João Coelhinho Paes João Cólica João da Mesma Data João de Deus Fundador do Colto João Meias de Golveias João Pensa Bem João Sem Sobrenome João Techeremunga Joaquim Pinto Molhadinho José Amâncio e Seus Trinta e Nove José Casou de Calças Curtas José Catarrinho José Machuco Pimentão José Marciano Verdinho das Antenas Longas José Maria Guardanapo José Padre Nosso José Teodoro Pinto Tapado José Xixi Jotacá Dois Mil e Um Jovelina Ó Rosa Cheirosa Juana Mula Jubiratan Carneiro Júlio Santos Pé-Curto Justiça Maria de Jesus K Karl Marx Pacheco da Silva Kussen Pestana Lança Perfume Rodometálico de Andrade Leão Rolando Pedreira Leda Prazeres Amante Letsgo Liberdade Igualdade Fraternidade Nova York Rocha Libertino Africano Nobre Lindulfo Celidonio Calafange de Tefé Lindulfo Colodônio Loprefâncio Celestino Jacy de Almeida Lua Morena Luciana Torpedo Luis Grampeado Luiz Tripador Lynildes Carapunfada Dores Fígado M Macarena Magalhães Mafalda da Encarnação Repolho Magnésia Bisurada do Patrocínio Manganês Manganésfero Nacional Manoel de Hora Pontual Manoel Sovaco de Gambar Manolo Porras y Porras Manuel Sola de Sá Pato Manuelina Terebentina Capitulina de Jesus Amor Divino Manuelina Terebentina Capitulina de Jesus Amor Divino Marciano Verdinho das Antenas Longas Maria Constança Dores Pança Maria Cristina do Pinto Magro Maria da Boa Morte Maria da Cruz Rachadinho Maria da Segunda Distração Maria de Seu Pereira Maria do Sô Anternor Maria Esposa de Jesus Maria Felicidade Maria Humilde Maria Máquina Maria Panela Maria Passa Cantando Maria Privada de Jesus Maria Tributina Prostituta Cataerva Maria-você-me-mata Marília Bagdá Tostada Marília dos Prazeres Marimbondo da Trindade Mário de Seu Pereira Mariquinha Mijurim Maslowa Bonfim Meirelaz Assunção Mijardina Pinto Mimaré Índio Brazileiro de Campos Ministéio Salgado Mirela Tapioca Mitiko Osano Pinto N Naida Navinda Navolta Pereira Napoleão Bonaparte Sem Medo e Sem Mácula Napoleão Estado do Pernambuco Narjara Taboada Natal Carnaval Necrotério Pereira da Silva Nicolau Tampacopulus Novelo Fedelo O Oceano Atlântico Linhares Oceano Pacífico Ocricocrides de Albuquerque Oiamhi Coelho Olinda Barba de Jesus Orlando Modesto Pinto Orquerio Cassapietra Otávio Bundasseca P Pacífico Armando Guerra Padre Filho do Espírito Santo Amém Pália Pélia Pólia Púlia dos Guimarães Peixoto Paranahyba Pirapitinga Santana Passos Dias Aguiar Paulo Tapioca Pedra da Penha Pedrinha Bonitinha da Silva Percilina Pretextata Predileta Protestante Peta Perpétua de Ceceta Placenta Maricórnia da Letra Pi Plácido e Seus Companheiros Pombinha Guerreira Martins Pretende Reduzido Primavera Verão Outono Inverno Primeira Delícia Figueiredo Azevedo Produto do Amor Conjugal de Marichá e Maribel Produto do Amor de Mariana e Maribel Protestado Felix Correa R Radigunda Cercená Vicensi Remédio Amargo Renato Pordeus Furtado Ressurgente Monte Santos Restos Mortais de Catarina Rita Marciana Arrotéia Roberto Lutaseuvicius Rolando Caio da Rocha Rolando Escada Abaixo Rolando Escadabaixo Rômulo Reme Remido Rodó S Safira Azul Esverdeada Sansão Chazan Sansão Vagina Sebastião Salgado Doce Segundo Avelino Peito Segundo Clenildo Rodrigues Sete Chagas de Jesus e Salve Patria Sete Rolos de Arame Farpado Simplício Simplório da Simplicidade Simples Soncórdio Luciano Soraiadite das Duas a Primeira Sueli Treta T Telesforo Veras Terebentina Terepenis Tertuliano Firgufino Tigalphinezer Fernando Lima Tom Mix Bala Tospericagerja (em homenagem à seleção do tri: Tostão Pelé Rivelino Carlos Alberto Gerson e Jairzinho) Tropicão de Almeida U Última Delícia do Casal Carvalho Último Vaqueiro Um Dois Três de Oliveira Quatro Um Mesmo de Almeida Universo Cândido Uósteles Filho Usnavy (em homenagem à USNavy a Marinha Americana) V Valdir Tirado Grosso Veneza Americana do Recife Vicente Mais ou Menos de Souza Vitimado José de Araújo Vitor Hugo Tocagaita Vitória Carne e Osso Vivelinda Cabrita Voltaire Rebelado de França W Wanslívia Heitor de Paula Z Zélia Tocafundo Pinto Zico Nacandacare

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