#cal is SO dad coded

[shewolfofvilnius]

"wait you ship Rolan's brother Cal. the Peacemaker. the nice one. the kind man. You ship Cal with Lae'zel?!""

Yes the fuck I do they are precious and hilarious together.

Also, Lae'zel of Creche K'liir being cast out of her home, persecuted, abandoned, and desperately needing to keep peace around the sociopaths she's found herselves traveling with...that is literally Cal's story (c'mon, ROLAN AND LIA?!?!) just greener. And what does she do with that pain and hurt? She fights for those she cares about, but she also's a peacemaker (SHE GETS THE GITH'ZERAI TO COME TO PEACE TALKS IN THE EPILOGUE FFS) and continually gives those around her the best advice in the game. She and Cal are two peas in a pod.

And we know that Lae'zel respects a fighter and Cal survived Avernus for the gods' sakes. The man has literally been to the Hells and back and survived. If you survived Avernus, you were either really good at hiding (not really), really good at fighting (he's one of the better fighters of the Elturians), or REALLY good at building community and collaboration for safety and numbers (he's the one true peacemaker of the refugees).

Lae'zel is strong where Cal is soft - but also vice-versa. Cal tends to project an external softness but internally is one of the most determined and resolute characters we live in the game - in fact, he's the ONLY one of the siblings who doesn't ultimately lose the plot if the other two die. Rolan turns on you, Lia kills herself, but Cal goes on living - just away from game action.

Lae'zel is tough enough to start a revolution against Vlaakith, but left alone she's the softest and most poetic of the entire group. Admiring sunsets, turning defiance into poetry, offering advice and compassion to other companions as they go through their struggles. Once she gets over her issue with Shadowheart and assuming she turns against Vlaakith, she's EASILY the emotional core of the entire team.

And in a timeline where Lae'zel takes the egg, where she becomes Xan's mother: Aside from maybe Halsin or Act 3 Mayrina, Cal is THE character in this entire game most clearly emotionally mature and resourceful and determined and loving enough to become a parent. And you KNOW he and Lae'zel will lead that kid towards a world where the Gith and where the people of this plane can live in cooperation and peace. Just like his parents.

They're perfect for each other. (Edit: I already wrote them once and I plan to do so again)

[headdinthewall]

EVERY TIME … ── c.dixon ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

summary : every time (sort of) that chris mentions you in a youtube video // hint : there’s a lot. a/n : happy birthday chris!! ik i said the next post would be an inside post, but it’s chris’ birthday so :) content : established relationship ,, mentions of childbirth and postpartum anxiety ,, sexual references & talks of sex

𐙚 Whenever he does his football challenge videos, he’s points at the camera and says ‘Reader, this is for you’ before scoring an impressive goal or missing miserably.

“Give it a rest, Chris, she probably doesn’t even watch your videos!” Theo complained. “That is the fifth time this video he’s said that.” George added. “How many of these do you think he makes the editor keep in?”

𐙚 Always mentions you in the podcast episodes when he goes on them (Fellas, Useless Hotline, Bach&Arthur) and is open but to an extent about your relationships. When Cal and Chip get him talking about kinks, he expresses what he’s into but makes sure to never reveal anything to haven’t already told him you’re okay with the world know.

“So, like, the maid shit, is reader into that?” Chip asks, fiddling with the microphone. “She can be, yeah, it really depends on her mood. I think she prefers lying down as opposed to being on top, so it’s a win win for both of us when we do that stuff.” Chris answered honestly.

𐙚 He makes sure to repeat everything said on the podcast back to you so you can tell him if you want it cut out or not, and if you do he’s never mad, all he does is send a quick text to Chip saying ‘reader wants this, this and this cut out please’ and it’s done with.

𐙚 When he did the cooking video with Arthur and George, you went out for the night with some friends and he was talking about you the whole time.

“Reader would think this is absolutely disgusting.” / “Arthur, I hope reader comes home and sees what you’ve done to her kitchen and beats you.” “Her kitchen?! You share the apartment with two other people!” Arthur exclaimed, but George butted in, “It is her kitchen, to be fair.”

𐙚 Adding on to the cooking thing, he brings up your food a lot, especially when he gets to that whiney, moaning state of tiredness in his videos. It happened in the North vs South video:

“God, I would kill for readers lasagne right now.” Chris groaned, resting his hands on his elbows. “Yeah, you’d like her beef and cream all over you, wouldn’t you?” Theo jeered. “Well, yeah, actually, because she’s my girlfriend?” “Can you just pop her a text and ask her to bring a family sized lasagne, I’m starving.” Will added.

𐙚 If he’s doing a video where he has to physically walk around London to complete challenges, he’ll walk past places and say “Oh, reader wants to go here for dinner.” or “Reader loves this shop, can we pop in so I can get her something?” (Always ends in him coming home with a special something he picked up from your favourite clothes shop).

𐙚 He knows your routine like the back of his hand. When it hits lunch time and filming ran overtime, he’ll order you something he knows you adore and screenshot the UberEats code and send it to you without saying anything else other than what he’s ordered. Example: ‘kfc boneless banquet for you x’ In response? Probably a tit pic, or underwear pic.

𐙚 When you have kids, he’ll mention it as much as possible. He’s so proud to be a dad and even prouder of the fantastic mother that you are. Also definitely talks about having his son/ daughter going into football, makes jokes about disowning them if they don’t want to but everyone knows he would never.

“Chris, what are you doing if child doesn’t want to play football?” Harry asked, to which Chris replied, “Mm, adoption, probably.”

𐙚 Rambles about you on the Three Peaks video so much because the only for him to get through 24 hours straight of hike, eat, sleep, repeat is to think about the love of his life. Since the video was a dedication to mental health, he talks about how having a baby affected both of your mental healths (his with more anxiety about the baby getting hurt and yours with just being drained 24/7)

“I know some of you are probably sat at home saying ‘Oh, where’s reader?’ ‘Reader would love to do this!’ Yes, she would, but she also gave birth a week ago and I have strictly forbidden her from doing any strenuous activity.” George makes a joke out of Chris’ statement, “Sounds like you’re holding her hostage mate.” “No, but I did tell her that I didn’t want her doing this in case she hurt herself, but … she didn’t really want to do this anyway. She’s been having major postpartum anxiety recently, and just hasn’t been sleeping well … but … we’re getting back on the right track.”

𐙚 He gets really excited to talk about you whenever someone asks about you. Even if it’s just a fleeting comment asking how you are, he can go on for hours and hours about the most recent date you went on, how you’re holding up with motherhood and just handling life in general. He’s 100% your biggest fan (even though he’s the famous one in the relationship).

𐙚 If he films a video with Bach or Chip, they will both end up talking to each other wondering if you and Liv/ Sabina are into the same stuff, in which the conversation vaguely goes something like this:

“Has Sabina been showing you this new dress style recently?” “Oh, yeah, non-stop. Has reader been showing you?” “Yeah, constantly. I think it’s trending.” “Are you gonna get it for her?” “Are you?” Followed by a simultaneous “…Yeah.”

𐙚 Always puts in a song you’ve been really enjoying recently, whether it’s in a clip interval or a beat-drop moment when someone scores, the song will be something you’ve had on repeat.

𐙚 His outro always has something to do with you, whether it’s mentioning your name or referencing something only you two would understand.

“Thanks for watching today’s video! Um … pie and chips for tea please, my love!” / “If you watched till the end, go follow my girlfriend @/yourusername right now!” / “Thank you for watching, here’s a cute clip of reader crying because child made their first steps. I want edits. Now.”

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

Off-putting headcanons for the tiefling bachelors

Nobody is perfect, this includes my beloved tiefling bachelors.

Off-putting headcanons for them under the cut.

–---------------------------------------------

Zevlor: Sometimes says some out-of-pocket prejudiced shit. Not anything bad bad, but more tactless/gauche.

Example A: Drow Tav.

Zevlor: "I wouldn't have looked to a drow for help, but I'm grateful all the same." Drow Tav: "Do you have something against drow?" Zevlor: "I meant no insult! It's simply that yours are a people at war with themselves— I've never known for them to care for outsiders."

(Racist, albeit not inaccurate 💀, drow stereotypes.)

**When I head this line I actually said outloud, "Bro, your charisma stat is a 17 and you're a tiefling who's experienced this same kind of prejudice, how are you this foot-in-mouth!?"**

He also makes those terrifyingly loud, earth shaking, world ending, dad sneezes.

---

Rolan: Fastidiously fussy **cough** anal retentive **cough** about how things are organized/cleaned. If his home doesn't look like the cover of a furniture catalogue/magazine then he isn't happy.

He's gone without control over his environment for so long that I wouldn't be surprised if he now has a complex about his space being exactly how he wants it.

(At one point in-game the siblings joke about Rolan finally being able to color-code his sock drawer.)

If we accept the headcanon that the siblings were poor in Elturel then Rolan probably had to share a room with Cal. I can absolutely see this man having drawn a line down the middle of the room to separate his own tidy space from Cal's "messy" space.

(I put 'messy' in quotation marks because Cal doesn't strike me as a slob, just as someone who isn't afraid to allow his space to look lived in.)

Also, a younger Lia would absolutely go and move Rolan's stuff around just to fuck with him.

---

Dammon: Is unable to sleep past 6 A.M. and is a disgustingly chipper morning person.

He also refuses to acknowledge his trauma from Avernus. My mans will casually tell you the most horrifying thing about his time in the Hells and then be genuinely surprised when you react with shock and concern.

"Yeah, I watched as Carixim drained the life-force out of one of the other apprentices for mildly displeasing him, adding yet another voice to the innumerable cacophony of screams of the dammned that were already trapped beneath his grotesque flesh as they wailed for a mercy that would never come, all while knowing that I was just one wrong move away from joining them in their never ending suffering— but my time trapped in the Hells wasn't that bad. What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

[wildlife4life]

Seven (+) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the super lovely @prosperdemeter2 @gayedmundodiaz @lemonzestywrites @rainbow-nerdss @devirnis @cal-daisies-and-briars @buddierights @disasterbuckdiaz @exhuastedpigeon @dangerpronebuddie @daffi-990 @tizniz @try-set-me-on-fire and @rogerzsteven Thank so much! Go check out all their snippets and works!

Well would ya'll look at that... I'm actually participating in a tag day with an actual wip and not a coda. Whoa. And even better... Its an NFL Buck snippet! WOOOOO! Want to see more NFL Buck? Please check it all out here!

"So." Karen begins, pulling Hen's attention from the book she's been trying to read for the past week. She quirks an eyebrow at her wife, "So?" "So my boss's son's, partner broke their leg Tuesday after tripping over their 15 year old terrier." Karen explains and Hen can't help but look back towards where Paisley is lounging on the arm chair (Hen's favorite seat that she has lost to that sassy fur ball) with worry. Her wife chuckles reading Hen's internal concern, "Babe, Paisley is as pure bred as they come. We'll be lucky if she makes it to 10." "That pure bred survived an earthquake and a collapsed building. I wouldn't put it past her to make it way past 10 out of spite alone.” Hen remarks, turning back to Karen. Karen rolls her eyes, but gets back on topic, "Anyway. Harris, that's the partner, got their hands on some passes to that super exclusive gay club, The Green Carnation for this Friday." "You mean the place that runs a background check rivaling the FBI, makes every patron sign NDA's, and will blacklist a person from every gay bar from here to Vegas if they break said NDA? The place that is rumored to host not only out celebrities, but also the deeply closeted, tilt the world on it's axis if they ever came out, big names? That gay club?" Hen questions, her excitement starting to rise. Her very sexy and somehow very connected wife smirks, "The very one. And poor Harris just can't fathom trying to hop around on one leg and not drink thanks to their newly acquired pain meds. So they had their partner-" "Your boss's son." Hen remembers, leaning towards Karen, who instinctually gets closer as well. "Karson, with a K, starts to asks around his dads work because you know, we're literal rocket scientist working on very classified information." "Who better to invite to a secret club than those who work on secret projects." "Exactly." Karen's smirk becomes wicked (and very sinful), "And wouldn't you know, the only non-straight and married person around is yours truly." Hen honest to go squeals, loud and bubbling with elation, "You got us passes to The Green Carnation?!" "With a pre-paid drink package. All we have to do is agree to the background check and sign the NDA." Karen replies with a broad grin. Hen can no longer hold herself back and practically tackles her wife with a teeth clattering kiss. Karen, as always, catches her and kisses back 110%. ("So, my 48 off falls on the weekend." Eddie states and he takes notice of Buck's sly grin forming, his boyfriend most likely on the same train of thought, "And since it's still your bye week..." "You want to dance the night away with other secret gays." Evan finishes. Eddie smirks, "And get a private room blow job." The quarterback's smile is almost feral like, "I'll make the reservation." And Eddie watches Buck tap on the contact Florists with the green clover next to it. The phone rings twice before a deep voice comes through the speaker, "State your member id." "Buckley, 201-09-18." "Diaz, 201-09-19." A quick moment of silence, then, "What can The Green Carnation do for you today Mr. Buckley and Mr. Diaz?")

Hmm... Is a certain run in going to happen???? We'll see!!! Hope you all enjoyed!

Tagging (no pressure): @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @watchyourbuck @perfectlysunny02 @aroeddiediaz @loserdiaz @diazsdimples @jesuisici33 @fortheloveofbuddie @evanbegins @buck-coded @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @spotsandsocks @sunshinediaz @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @goforkinard @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @eddiiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @thebloomingheather @bigfootsmom

[homestuckreplay]

Recap 1 of Recap 2 of Homestuck Act 4

(page 1988)

Okay I lied this is the real last update before act 5. I was surprised to get another recap just 300 pages after the first one, which covered over 1600 pages of content. This one is shorter, though now by as much as you’d expect. I guess it’s been a busy 300 pages.

Like the last recap, I was interested to see what clarifications and new information are presented here that haven’t actually been revealed in the main story. There are definitely fewer than before, and I noticed that most are from flash updates, which are great for powerful, dramatic moments, but less good for small details or for understanding character motivations. In contrast, something like John’s ectobiology sequence is very clear in the text – so the recap might be helpful for casual readers who don’t pore over every detail, but to a close reader it doesn’t add new information.

Clarifications

These are small details which were already implied, but not stated outright until now.

- Dave and Rose’s dark timeline is referred to as a ‘doomed alternate reality’.

- It was Rose who threw Lil Cal out the window of Dave’s dream bedroom.

- The gods of the Furthest Ring play the same role for Derse dreamers that the cloud visions on Skaia do for Prospit dreamers. These gods saw the MEOW genetic code as dangerous, which is why they asked Rose to burn the journals.

- Dave didn’t need to do anything to break open his egg entry item; it ‘simply needed time to hatch’.

- ‘Skaia defends itself, in a way, by sacrificing Earth’. Implication: Earth doesn’t technically need to be destroyed for Sburb/Skaia to achieve its ultimate purpose, and some successful sessions might be able to avoid their planet’s destruction if they can win before the Reckoning begins. It’s just collateral damage.

- 100% confirmation that Nanna and Grandpa’s other guardian/Colonel Sassacre’s husband was Betty Crocker, not a coincidental and different baked goods baroness.

- Bro and Jack’s duel was a stalemate until Bro cracked the record platform, which ‘released a mysterious energy from the cracks’.

- An unknown third party convinced Jade and her pen pal to begin Project Bunny and gift it to John.

Brand New Information

- Both kings’ scepters contain prototyping information, but the Reckoning only begins when the Black King captures the White King’s scepter. It’s not stated whether or not the White King could, in theory, begin the Reckoning himself.

- John’s ectobiology session was set up for him by the guardians when they passed through the lab. (Mom and Grandpa are qualified for this. Dad presumably used the time to bake his cake).

- The exiles travel to Earth on meteors, just like the kids and guardians. They arrive ‘years after its apocalypse, but years before they found their respective command stations’. I have been wondering about this for months, and am personally very glad to have a definite answer.

- The bunny’s weapons are matched to the names on the note. The broken sword is the Royal Deringer, the needles are the Quills of Echidna, the rifle is Ahab’s Crosshairs, and the hammer is the Warhammer of Zillyhoo. This is the first time the Zillyhoo name has appeared in Homestuck – putting this in a ‘recap’ basically assumes that readers have also read the Problem Sleuth bonus content where the hammer originates, or will interact with other fans who have, for example on the forums.

Net Zero Information

- At two separate points the recap makes it clear that Jack’s motivations are unknown, presenting this as an intentional artistic choice instead of an accidental oversight. ‘Only [Jack] knows’ why he chose to spare WV while slaughtering the other revolutionaries, and why he was happy to uphold PM’s bargain and give her the green package in return for the crowns.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I think I finally figured out who Cal Kestis reminds me of. I wrote a post saying that he’s like a Space Jon Snow. Now that I’m further into the story, I feel like he’s more of a Space Matt Murdock (Daredevil).

Arguing points:

* Red head (comics version at least)

* Dark-ish tone

* His story is that of a good, honorable man who’s bound to a code, but struggles to stick to it. Cal is tiptoeing the line of joining the dark side, which is similar to how Matt is tiptoeing the line of going full violent vigilante. So I guess in this comparison, the Jedi Code is Roman Catholicism lol.

* His love interest is this sassy warrior who uses bladed weapons and also tried to kill him (Elektra, Merrin). One major difference though is that Merrin doesn’t want Cal to embrace his dark side while Elektra actively encourages Matt to do so.

* Traumatized by the death of two different mentors/parental figures. Matt lost his dad and Stick. Cal lost Jaro and Cere.

* Cameron Monaghan as Cal Kestis kinda even sounds like Charlie Cox when he’s playing Matt Murdock. It’s the way they talk, like a sort of downbeat stiffness. It’s like they’re either never in a good mood or about to brood.

* The parkour

* Two sticks. Two lightsabers.

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Paradise episode 1.07 "The Day"

This show is so close to being great it’s kinda driving me nuts. The pilot had me leaning in- it’s actually one of the better pilots I’ve seen maybe ever. But it’s a bit of a rollercoaster from that point on. On the whole, it has an abrupt and jagged feel. The episodes don’t flow from one to the next; rather, each one builds to a flashy cliffhanger that the following episode has to go back and explain- time that would be better spent laying the groundwork for what’s to come. Episodes 5 and 6 were action packed and dazzling, but it was at the cost of investing the time to really make it make sense.

But this season’s (they’ve been renewed) penultimate episode reminded me of Paradise’s potential. It felt like a special episode in the best way, and in a way you don’t see much anymore. It convinced me to be more forgiving to the previous episodes and see them in a new light. While episodes 5 and 6 served to make Sterling K. Brown’s action hero reel, “The Day” did some much needed character development.

Aside from tense bookends with Xavier and Sinatra, “The Day” unpacks exactly what happened on- there’s no better way to put it- The Day. As in, the day the world ended. The way everything went down felt hyper realistic, which, on top of being terrifying, made all the players incredibly human.

Until now, Xavier has been a machine, and Cal, while charming, has been held at arm’s length from the audience. Dr. Torabi says that Xavier was brought to Paradise because of his character, but we haven’t really seen his tender side. Meanwhile, all we’ve seen of Cal is his tender side. But he’s pissed off more than a few people, including Xavier who said he wouldn’t sleep until Cal was dead. Cal’s charisma is off the charts and his situation with his dementia-ridden bully of a dad tugs at the heartstrings, but in terms of global-scale ethics, we haven’t really seen him do anything yet. “The Day” gives us the full picture of both of these men.

On the day, Xavier is by Cal’s side through it all. His wife Teri is due back from her ill-fated trip to Atlanta but shit hits the fan before her flight takes off. Through frantic news broadcasts and an emergency meeting of top-level White House staff, we learn that a volcanic eruption in Antarctica has triggered massive tsunamis that will cause global destruction within hours.

Overwhelmed but truly a show of strength, Cal braces himself as country after country goes dark, while others ready their nuclear arsenal. Every projection indicated that there would be at least a few days’ notice before disaster was this imminent- before news anchors were being swept away by tidal waves on national television. And yet, every one of his advisors votes to implement Versailles- which we know is the code name for Paradise- right now, today, immediately.

Cal puts it in motion. And it quickly becomes clear to those within the White House that death is imminent for everyone who isn’t a part of a plan that’s already been made. On a personal and national level, the sheer impossibility of Cal’s position is palpable. He tries going by the book, taping a watered-down address that will appear live, but in reality, will air when he’s already well on his way to Paradise. That plus the fact that it “reads like we’re prepping people for a goddamn snowstorm” is too much for him to stomach.

After taking the time to introduce himself to the White House janitor and urge him to be with his family, he realizes he needs to give all of America that same courtesy. He insists on being put back on TV, live and with no script, derailing the Versailles timeline and putting himself at risk in the process.

“My fellow Americans… I know you’re aware of the situation we now face. And I wanna tell you the truth. Our modeling shows imminent worldwide disaster, including here at home. I’m telling you this so that you can make decisions based on where you want to be right now. And who you want to be with… Despite all the ugliness in our world… despite our tendency to focus on the grotesque, and the conflict. Despite all of that, you are inherently decent. You love your families, your parents, your children. And I hope we can find that decency and love now. And if I may be so bold. To all of you watching who have meant something to me personally. Too many to name. I just want to say I love you. And uh… God bless you and good luck.”

I actually think Cal might be my favorite TV president since Jed Bartlet. I love this speech, and it’s abundantly clear that it’s the only thing in his power that he can do for the American people. Not everyone can be saved. Doing anything more would be futile and only serve to assuage his own survivor’s guilt while jeopardizing the people he can save by following the Versailles protocol. So when from here he lets himself be ushered into elevators and helicopters and planes as chaos erupts around him, it’s a show of both humanity and strength. James Marsden actually does an incredible job- the weight of it all is right on his face and you just want to hug him.  

Now let’s talk about Xavier. His anxiety for his family is palpable, but he doesn’t miss a beat on the job. In the few moments he’s able to get through to Teri, he makes sure someone else takes his place beside Cal. He’s beyond efficient, finding Teri’s best chance at making it to the necessary plane and ensuring his kids stay where they need to be.

All the while, he gets Versailles off without a hitch, holding panicked, lower-ranked staffers at bay, and elevating precautionary measures as needed without going overboard. You can really feel the utmost importance of both his family and the task at hand. And he doesn’t neglect either one. But when they get to the plane and Teri hasn’t made it, we finally see the chink in his armor.

He hesitates to board, finally letting it all out on Cal:

“She’s alone. I don’t know where she is. I don’t know who she’s with… I can’t get on that plane without her… She was there [Atlanta] because she didn’t know what was coming... You hinted! You danced around. There was no urgency!... I would have kept her close! I would have prepared. People would have prepared. But instead you played this game… You think you’re brave because you told everybody the world was ending 10 minutes ago?... You should have told us all 10 years ago… Look at what’s happening… Look at what you let happen!”

Xavier’s right to be feeling all of this. But Cal is also right that it is simply an impossible situation. And in a lot of ways, Xavier had more privilege than most, driven home by Cal’s final statement of “If you don’t want a seat on that plane, there’s roughly eight billion people on this planet who will fucking take it.” And he’s right. So Xavier gets on the plane.

To me, this exchange retroactively justifies Xavier’s leap into action in the previous episodes. To go back for a second, episodes 5 and 6 saw Billy’s death spark Xavier to launch a near instantaneous all-out heist against Sinatra. While Billy’s death was suspicious, it felt like a bit of a leap for that alone to justify Xavier’s immediate and extreme reaction.

While that was happening, we learned that Xavier’s daughter Presley has had the President’s missing tablet this entire time (?). After spending some time with Cal’s son Jeremy, they were able to get it open, and they learned of Sinatra’s secret missions to the surface and the killings she ordered of survivors that were found there.  

If they had gotten the tablet open sooner (which would’ve made more sense anyway- why has Presley been doing nothing with it all this time?), and shared its contents with Xavier after Billy’s death, his full throttle attack on Sinatra would be a completely proportionate response.

That all would still have made for much more seamless storytelling, but emotionally, this conversation on the tarmac in “The Day” explains Xavier’s behavior. All this time, Xavier couldn’t separate Cal from losing Teri, but he also knew him more intimately than most. Deep down, he does understand that it was an impossible situation, and he understands that Cal was a single, good-natured individual who had just been shouldered with quite literally the world’s biggest burden. One that he didn’t cause.

But Xavier, too, did everything right. He executed the Versailles protocol to the letter, and at the same time he did everything he possibly could for his family. His rage and grief are perfectly justifiable, it just wasn’t justifiable to direct it all at Cal. So of course he leapt at the chance to let all those pent up feelings out on someone less complicatedly innocent; someone who isn’t simultaneously responsible for the salvation of him and his children. All this time he was a powder keg ready to explode. If anything, it’s a miracle it didn’t happen sooner.

I’d be remiss not to talk about the last few moments of “The Day”, where Cal and Xavier both prove to us that they’re stand-up guys. On a call with the joint chiefs on another plane- one that isn’t going to make it to Paradise- Cal is urged to use the nuclear football to unleash America’s entire arsenal of atomic bombs. Seizing on the chaos from the natural disaster, other countries have fired their own missiles at the US, and if they’re permitted to make contact, they pose a threat to Paradise. Sinatra drives the point home by telling Cal that every modeled potential outcome of the Antarctica volcano ended in nuclear warfare.

But Cal reveals a third option. In addition to firing retaliatory missiles, the nuclear football also gives him the power to essentially shut off every electronic circuit on Earth with the flick of a switch. It would diffuse any atomic bombs that haven’t yet made contact. “It would also take the planet back 500 years. But that was better than the alternative, because it would give people a chance.”

How this doesn’t affect Paradise is a plot hole I’m willing to ignore. Cal takes this option in the face of Sinatra’s increasingly panicked pleas not to do it, to instead kill everyone left on Earth.

Meanwhile, Xavier has managed to get on the phone with Teri. She’s alone and scared and there’s nothing else to do. As far as he knows, he’s watching a nuclear bomb close in on Atlanta on a map. While Cal finally proves to us that he can do something, Xavier, for the first time, can do nothing. With no protocol to follow, no swift action to take, all Xavier can do in this moment is be present with his wife and love her. With tears streaming down his face (and mine) he does just that:

“Hey, I’m here. I’m here… Yeah. You feel me? I’m… I’m holding you right now. I’m protecting you, baby. I got you… I got you… I love you more than anything on this planet. I love you so much, Teri. I love you.”

So all this to say, I have some logistical problems with Paradise. But I’m willing to ride out plot holes if they come alongside emotionally sound and compelling characters. And I’m looking forward to season 2! What about you? Is this the new show to watch? Or do you not get the hype?

[neverchecking]

Welcome to the Rabbit Hole~

Hello, Darlings~ I know most writers don't do this, but I can understand how frustrating it can be to go to a writer's page, read about a specific AU, but have no way of getting to the beginning to join the fun. So, here we are! Welcome to Cinder's Navigation of my current AU's!

Sweet but Psycho AU:

˚ ✦An AU where the Reader is not only aware of the boys' tendencies, but encourages it.

The start (This is kind of where the idea bubbles up)

How does the Chain feel? (Short version)

The Rewards (Ft. Bozai)

Sage figures it out (I love this sm honestly-)

In what order does the rest of the Chain find out?

Thoughts on the 'Sit on my Face' request with this Reader

Just this. All of this. (If nothing else read this one.)

Dom! Sadistic Reader punishing a Link (Also this one.)

Thoughts on Ganon.

Reader who loves giving affection

A new kind of punishment (Og starter)

Holy Grail AU:

˚ ✦An AU where Reader is not only their God(dess), but an actual god(dess), and now has a soul bond with every Link after saving them.

The Start

Cal gets some attention

Possible reasoning for the Soul bond?

The problem with Hylia

Mostly general Sage and his Zelda tidbit

More Zelda slander and why Reader is good foil against her.

Zelda and Reader meet.

The Chain gets a Baby bit Renamed: THE BABY CHAIN (>:D):

˚ ✦Not an AU, but this took off and I want it accessible. Basically, Poly! Chain with Pregnant! Reader, and the children that come of it.

The post that started it all

Who's getting a baby first?

Baby looks like Reader?

Sage and the Twins that aren't his.

Fierce Daddy-ity

Cursed Link. That's it. That's the Tweet.

The start of the debate.

The boys are dolphins.

TWO DADS

The debate PART 2 INCLUDING REBUTTALS

Let's talk genetics :)

BIG BROTHER WIND and Dad! Four ig

Sky is a baby leash parent

Wind as the best big brother while the others fight over who the bd is

Fierce Deity Baby Daddy

Sky as a dad :)

The chain with kids hghgg READ THIS ONE

Sky is perfect. Thats it. Thats the tweet.

Househusband sky

Dad Warriors

Four's daughter also splits

The colors vs Their Mini-me's. Take one. (Take two)

Dad! Ravio

The Fierce kiddos shenanigans

The triplets fighting over if the kid is theirs. (Me bs-ing why it's all of theirs)

Lightbulb baby.

Four needs to learn to wrap it b4 he taps it bc this is getting out of hand- /j

Universe switch

˚ ✦Keep up with me and @my-insanity-is-an-artform 's ocs and if their universes got switched! Tia belongs to them and Aaliyah belongs to me!

Tia introduction

Tia's first moments in Sage's Hyrule

Tia looks at a feral man and decides he won't bit. (Yes he do)

How're the links handling the switch? (This just in; not well)

Tia is kidnapping someone. Even if they go willingly.

The start of it all (Go read this right now)

The Hateno home and The Sheikah

How's Sage doing?

When does the Switch happen?

The chain makes an appearance.

Merging Hyrules

Sage Vs. Fungus

Sage + Fungus Vs. everything else.

Sweetpea is enough.

Fucked around. Found out.

Wild and Cal make their reappearance.

Fungus is gonna be courted, Saaagge.

Sage and Aaliyah are good with kids (And the consequences)

Aaliyah is Regina George coded.

Found Family

Family and getting your back blown out (Those should never intertwine <3)

There are so many parents going around and yet Sage and Aaliyah still act fatherless </3

The Story:

Part 1: Something

Part 2: Portals

Sage acquires a baby

˚ ✦Sage acquires Baby! Reader and just. Takes them.

The acquisition.

Baby is a crawler

The acceptance

Baby's first Lynel attack &lt;3

Mama Wild

Co-parents Sage and Wild

Reader's real parents?

Custody battle Take one

Wild is trusting with child. More on this at seven.

Papa bear sage

Baby has a triforce?

Emotional support animal wolfie

Soft Sage dad

First steps

Monkey.

Dink makes an appearance

Baby Real mom

Baby goats

Navi

Sage and Wild Vs. Legend

Mastermind child

Menace child.

The Gerudo gain momentary custody

Wind is brother coded

Wild took back his custody

˚ ✦My Rules

˚ ✦My Masterlist

˚ ✦Main Navigation

[alaskashigh]

Do have more california x new York Headcanons??

holy shit how did i miss this?? fuck yeah I do

New York is very closed off and doesn't have the time or patience to deal with other people, as we know, so it is really hard to get him to open up or to at least want to talk to you. Because of this, he doesn't have many friends or people that he really trusts (he barely trusts the Northeast states.)

Well, one day he wasn't having the /best/ day, so to say. He'd woke up feeling like shit because of his old worn out bed, missed the subway so he had to walk to work, and on top of that got into a fight with a rude customer at his job (almost got fired). So his day was absolute shit.

California had luckily? unluckily? decided to stop by his apartment because New York had forgotten some important work for Gov in the meeting room. After a while of knocking without getting an answer, he walked into his place to see his apartment trashed from a real bad episode and New York having a panic attack on the floor, leaned up against his stove.

It took a lot of time and effort, but he eventually got New York to calm down and ended up helping him clean up the place. The two of them had food door dashed to his place afterwards.

After that they slowly started to open up to each other more and more, hanging out every so often for awhile. Course with their oblivious selves it took a few years for them to realize that "Hey, maybe my feelings for my best friend are more than platonic." but y'know, their dumbasses in love.

Y'know how New York likes to "fuck off" to Florida when his state gets to cold? Yeah? Well I think that when Cal and him had started to get closer (eventually getting together after years of being friends) he started going to his state more often, saying that he "Doesn't want to deal with Florida's shenanigans, fuck off." California didn't think too hard into New York going to his state for the winter (At least he tried not to so he wouldn't get his hopes up about his friend wanting to be around him) A lot of the states rolled their eyes or teased him for his obliviousness, but he didn't understand why at the time.

I think New York's kids (cities) would be more comfortable at times going to California for help with mental stuff, after a long time of getting used to California and their dad getting together.

Speaking of that, it took a hella long time for New York and California's kids to be okay/get used to each other, even if they weren't living together (then, that is) it was still weird and kind of upsetting for them knowing that they'd have to like each other and get along with each other for their parents sake. Their was a lot of arguing between the two families, and a lot of getting used to, but after a while they ended up accepting it and moving on. A lot of them became close with each other, practically hanging out everyday or so, which was something that made California really happy and New York feel at ease knowing that his kids had Cal's kids to fall back on if they ever needed too.

(the kids would never admit it, but they all see each other as a family and would lose their shit if something happened to one of them.)

They don't really like doing all of that fancy shit for every date, or really at all sometimes, so their dates are usually skateboarding around their cities and getting two different flavors of different icees and snacks to share. They enjoy letting loose and running around their states, going into random shops and buying weird things for each other or eating out at different fast food restaurants. They still like being fancy every once in awhile, but they prefer just doing fun stuff all day outside in comfortable clothes and no restrictions or dress codes. So they usually don't do the fancy itchy clothing and 5 star restaurants every date.

New York forgets when their anniversary is until the day of or before, leaving him rushing around his state for stuff whilst also regretting ever getting his fellow Northeast states help.

California does the same thing, except with the west states including Florida and Louisiana.

They both don't know that the other also forgets about their anniversary before it's already time so they usually feel pretty bad knowing that they had forgotten and the other boyfriend didn't.

(Their so oblivious at times it makes the states want to smash their heads together)

While they are oblivious as hell at times they can be really in tune with the others body language when out (sometimes), so a lot of the time it looks like they are talking to each other with their eyes.

Florida and Louisiana teases them about it a lot, saying that they are a married couple.

Since they aren't really used to people or good with other peoples emotions, sometimes they really struggle with trying to understand what is wrong with the other which can lead to them both getting a bit frustrated. It used to be something that was a problem at the beginning of their relationship until they started to talk about it and figure out how they can help each other when they are in this position. Talking through things has helped them get through a lot of rough periods in their life and has made their relationship stronger.

California's kids like to go to New York when they need backup in fights.

California is good at being the voice of reason and with some emotion and mental health related problems, while New York is good with escaping the law and fighting/physical things.

They both struggle with their own mental health problems though.

California knows how to say "no," but struggles to at times, while New York knows how to say "no," and mean it.

They have both on many occasions had to cover for their kids when they got in trouble with the law, having to lie their asses out of jail time when the police show up at their home. They can't even count how many times they've had to show up at the police station to bail out their kids.

Their kids are going to be the death of them, they swear it. (Though they would be lying if they said that their kids didn't get their reckless behavior from them)

Alright i'm tired so i'm going to end this here. Sorry it's so much, I don't really get asks so I get hella excited when I get one occasionally, especially asking for headcanons (I have so many that I haven't said, this is just 1% of some of my headcanons for yorkcali. I don't really say my headcanons much unless asked too or I feel like it.) man I wish people would leave me asks more without me prompting it lol

also a lot of these headcanons are for a fic that I've been wanting to write for forever now, I just need to plan it out and get to a point where I like my writing. it showcases a lot of my favorite ships, and includes a lot of background stories and shit, so it's like how I see Ben's states/world. if only I had the motivation to write chapter fics and to work on it more. I think i'm getting somewhere though, which is nice.

i'm rambling so i'ma just cut this off here lol, thanks for the ask! I appreciate it

[kyber-crystal]

Okay bestie how about Christmas HCs where Obi-Wan is spending Christmas with you and your strange family ❤️

HI YES OKAY

also i'm so sorry if my writing seems off, i'm lwk rusty from not having written anything in a FAT minute. anyway enjoy some festive obi-wan!!

you and obi-wan were born on complete opposite ends of the galaxy, on different planets

this meant different cultures, different traditions, different ways of life

obi-wan doesn't remember much of his childhood—he can barely recall who his family was and only has a few fading memories of them—while you remember your loved ones in great detail

so when he hears you talk about your family and sees how your face lights up when you do, it's very bittersweet for him

now, life day (i believe this is christmas in star wars terms lol) is quickly approaching but you had been too busy throwing yourself into teaching an introductory sparring class for the younglings, along with your personal training, to realize it

if it were up to master windu's doing you wouldn't be getting as long of a break

but it's master yoda in charge here, and he grants you a long weekend to rest—which you and obi are incredibly grateful for as you've gotten a combined 6 hours of sleep in the past 3 days

(pathetic, you know...especially when it's drilled into your heads from day 1 of being in the temple that rest is the key to a happy, fulfilling life)

your family stories are always filled with lots of laughter, vibrant colors, and more love and compassion than he could even describe

so when you invite him to come to your home planet with you he's obviously excited

though outwardly he expresses how he feels a bit nervous

they've all heard about your best friend and wise master, but have never spoken to him in person

"it'll be fine, trust me! i have a big family but i promise you they're the nicest people you'll ever meet."

so he agrees, and you fly out that following morning

you can tell he's nervous as you get to the front door

so you intertwine your fingers together, giving his hand a squeeze

it's your silent way of telling him it's going to be just fine :)

and your family instantly LOVES him

of course, you're first bombarded with the classic "are you two married?" "when's the wedding?" "y/n, this is the first time you've brought a man back home!" "he's so handsome!" and whatnot

meanwhile, obi stands there with flushed cheeks...

the older women of the family—your mother, godmother, grandmothers, aunts, etc—instantly love him since he offers to help you out in the kitchen

in the meantime, you sit in the living room with your siblings, cousins, and the rest of the men

"where is the ring on your finger, y/n?" your favorite uncle asks you. he has this GIANT grin on his face and he's wearing THAT "ugly sweater" with a pink loth cat on it

ever since you got it for him, he's made it a yearly tradition to put it on at every holiday gathering

so it's hard to not laugh at first when you're trying to respond

"uncle ted, you know jedi can't get married!"

"who said you had to follow the rules?" he raises a brow at you and you laugh again

"y/n," your dad adds on, "he's right. you should be getting married soon..."

"but the jedi code!"

"it's not a crime if they don't find out, right?" your oldest cousin, cal, says

...and all the men murmur a "yep" or "touche" at that

obi wan catches part of this conversation and comes over, "who's marrying who?"

"she's marrying you!" your younger sister, layla, exclaims with a giggle

and now it's time for both you and obi to get extremely flustered

"SORRY," you quietly tell obi in your mind. "my family can get a bit...chaotic."

"it's okay, don't worry about it," and he smiles at you

while you're eating dinner, you catch him looking around the room—at your family, the eccentric decorations on the fridge and walls (courtesy of layla, cassie, and cal), the most stunning tree standing tall in the corner, the golden stockings with hand-stitched names of each cousin hung above the crackling fireplace—and your heart swells with warmth

in all his years of living so far, obi-wan has never felt so much at home as he has now, with you by his side

even amidst the chaos of the day, he tells himself he wouldn't want to be anywhere else, & he means it

later, you're making gingerbread houses together (apparently obi has never heard of this tradition before, so you take it upon yourself to teach him all about it)

but despite knowing little about it, he ends up making the best house out of everyone

you come in close at 3rd place, though you're sure your house is only one breath from falling apart

there's frosting all over your hands

and on your chin, apparently, but obi wipes it away with a quick sweep of his thumb

the longing look in both your guys' eyes doesn't go unnoticed by the rest of your family

long after everyone has gone to bed for the night, you stay by the fireplace together with glasses of warm milk on the coffee table in front of you

"you're really lucky, you know," he tells you. "to have a family you can remember and spend time with when you can."

"i really am..." you agree, "but obi-wan, you're always welcome to come over. my family loves you. i know it's only been a day but they already want you to be a part of the family."

(neither of you realize that he's taken ahold of your hand and started to gently brush over your ring finger)

and just around 4 short months later, you wake up one morning to find a sapphire ring on that exact finger

"just so you know, i'm saying yes," you squeeze his shoulder before going off to continue with the rest of your day

(how the council doesn't suspect anything, you have no idea. but you're grateful for it lmao)

ok i'm so sorry idk what i was doing with the ending there but I HOPE YOU ENJOYED &&&& merry christmas & happy holidays!!!'

tags (once again, this list hasn’t been updated in a while so apologies if it seems off haha): @voguesir @fl0ating @lady-elena-adeline @katelynnwrites @freeshavocadoooo @buckysbeloved @kelieah @kaleidoscope1967eyes @lam-ila @amelia-song-pond @unstablecaffeinatedmind @elenavampire21 @joyfullyswimmingface @arkofblake @hellotherekenobi

[prinxe-with-no-crown]

home stuck

john egbert rose lalonde ascend descend rise up abscond jade harley dave strider they all play sburb and end the world harlequin nanna bro mom dad youth roll grandpa pesterchum hella jeff and sweet bro heat and clockwork wind and shade frost and frogs light and rain vagabond mendicant renegade consorts and denizens skaia 413 countdown to the reckoning derse and prospit carapaces pogo hammer sassacre you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck true its quite outrageous but its so contagious jaspers secret davesprite casey mutey doomed timelines good dog best friend jack causes many peoples end black queen nak nak stuffing corpses shoosh pap robot bunnies midnight crew H3Y COOLK1D 1S TH1S YOU lil cal babies ectobiology apple juice pupa pan nic cage city of cans doc scratch snowman i warned you bout those stairs man god tiers march drag who even is this douchebag you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck true its quite outrageous but its so contagious exploring with aradia tavros sollux nepeta terezis nuts karkats a crab gamzees got issues with his dad equius feferi kanaya the vampire fashion queen she slices eridan in half and vriska is a badass shipping charts sick fires all the irons in the fire buckets squiddles angels all the lusii get culled faygo recuperacoons horrorterrors kill you troll jegus killer clowns mobius double reacharound you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck true its quite outrageous but its so contagious matesprits auspistice moirail kismesis betty crocker icp dead daves are the enemy green sun alpha verse jane roxy jake and dirk uu princely tights guy fieri is the antichrist captchalogue modus and strife specibus heir and knight witch and seer cant outrun whats already here you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck true its quite outrageous but its so contagious dream bubbles shenanigans all who die come back again tick tock break heads honk honk scary wolf heads cue balls magic dogs the universe is a frog felt mob and fairies lord english killed hussie troll cops thresh prince dont screw with the condesce scalemates rap wars blowing up the tumor zillyhoo shaving cream echeladder science beam cascade morse code this fandoms about to explode you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck and from now on it will go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck true its quite outrageous but its so contagious you cant fight the homestuck though its weird and random its the greatest fandom you cant fight the homestuck true its quite outrageous but its so contagious

[satinsnakesworld]

Mr Crane Coded

okay first and foremost thank you all for 100 likes!!!!!! that is absolutely crazy to me and I'm so grateful for all the interaction so i thank everyone!

Now.... onto business...

I've seen a lot of comparisons of Rolan to Mr Darcy. However, I see him as more Phillip Crane from the Bridgerton books.

While rolan is not a single dad like phillip he some what is in a way with cal and lia. Cal and lia being oliver and amanda always being the restless and fun. and rolan having to break up any mischief.

instead of being a botanist this man is worried with spells and potions. He goes off the his office much like how phillip goes to his greenhouse.

i could see rolan writing letters to tav and sending either a healing ootion a scroll of flight, or something that he thought of tav to use while in their travels, much how phillip picks out specific flowers with meaning for eloise.

and i could absolutely see tav and rolan arguing in the same way as the couple in the books. Rolan being the introvert , quiet, and not out in society as much, like phillip. While on the other hand tav could be the extrovert, talkative, and social butterfly in a sense as eloise is.

now that's just the couple I could think of after my first read-through of "To Sir Phillip, with love" by Julia Quinn. Also, keep your eyes out for some Rolan content to come soon, I've started drafting some head cannons for him, SFW and NSFW ;P

Anyway, here are my nightly 1am ish thoughts enjoy!!!!!

no lie this is not proofread or edited just wanted to type it all out lol sorry for any typos

[wildlife4life]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by the always lovely @wikiangela @cal-daisies-and-briars @devirnis @fortheloveofbuddie @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @daffi-990 @spotsandsocks and @diazsdimples. Thank you so much! Very excited for you upcoming works!

THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!!! WOOO! So that means, NFL Buck will not be going on a break lol. Also that Taylor and Travis post game PDA. OMG. Anywho, here is a short snippet from NFL Buck in Christopher's POV once again, post lash out. (All previous NFL Buck posts can be found here)

Christopher barely hears the three light taps to his door and the panic that had been a subtle thrum since being sent to his room, sky rockets. The consequences of his earlier outburst we're finally here and he is scared of what is to come. "Hey buddy, can I come in?" Buck's gentle voice takes Christopher completely by surprise. "Buck?" Chris asks for confirmation because he was expecting his dad and Buck is supposed to be at a dinner with some team mates for bonding. Being home early meant Chris's dad called him, which Eddie only did when he is truly upset.

Well, now Christopher felt like an even bigger jerk. "Yea kid its just me." Buck answers. He doesn't sound angry, but then again, he's never gotten angry with Chris. "Safe for me to enter?" Chris hesitates for a moment, trying to figure out if Buck was sent by his dad or if this is the quarterback's own doing. Either way, he would much rather face an over concerned Buck first than his upset father. "Its okay." he finally answers, sitting up on his bed. Buck pushes open the door then shuts it behind him once he's inside the younger Diaz's room. Dressed in jeans, a nice green button up, and the baby yoda socks Chris gifted him for his birthday, Buck makes his way over to the queen sized bed and plops down next to Christopher. Wrapping a muscled arm around his shoulder, Buck pulls Chris to his side in a tight hug. "You up for talking?" the older man asks. Christopher can't help but lean into his warm embrace, but is scared to meet his gaze, "Did dad send you?" Buck squeezes him tighter, "Yes and no. He called me and I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad or anything, but he was upset and asked for back up. Gave me the gist of what went down and I told him I would talk to you. Thought you could use a sounding board and a little more time and space from your dad."

Don't worry. Eddie and Chris will be talking too. Hope you all enjoyed!

Tagging (no pressure): @hippolotamus @theotherbuckley @jesuisici33 @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @aroeddiediaz @giddyupbuck @rainbow-nerdss @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @try-set-me-on-fire @bekkachaos @eddiescowboy @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @evanbegins @elvensorceress @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @honestlydarkprincess @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @glorious-spoon @buddierights @prosperdemeter2 @lemonzestywrites @gayedmundodiaz @transboybuckley

[lorekeeper-backset]

PKMN IRL Master Post

This post is a list of every single one of my Pokemon IRL blogs. It will lengthen or shorten as I create or delete blogs. Mostly lengthen, probably.

@fox-poke-fanatic: A blog run by Caleb, average college student who wants to become the ultimate expert on fox pokemon.

@aura-acolyte: My take on the protagonist of ORAS, here named Mare Birch. She has Aura Powers and is also the Chosen of Rayquaza, a role that is both poorly defined and well defined. She gets involved in a lot of high stakes stuff. She's also the protagonist of that fanfic I linked.

@the-looker-bureau: A blog focusing on Looker and Emma. In this universe, Looker continued being a private detective and father figure for Emma.

@last-lorekeeper: A blog run by Zinnia, the Lorekeeper of the Draconid people. She's taken up teaching in her spare time.

@twinchampionsofkalos: A blog run by Calem and Serena, who in this universe both take the role of Champion of the Kalos region. Calem's the responsible one while Serena's the more reckless one. Calem is an Acearo malewife and Serena is a Lesbian girlboss and certified disaster gay.

@appeallove: A blog run by Lisia, contest spectacular idol. She's always peppy, never dropping her cheerful demeanor even when mad. She may be one of the scariest people on the planet.

@guardian-ofthe-sky: Rayquaza runs a blog where it tries to play the responsible parent. It's very proud of it's Chosen.

@aqua-magma-official: The account of the reformed Teams Aqua and Magma, run by their twin PR heads Magma Grunt Kai and Aqua Grunt Nicky. Yes, they are genuinely reformed this is not a secret evil plot. Blog is usually low stakes and will not become high stakes of its own accord.

@phantom-flower: A blog for Phoebe, Ghost Type Hoenn Elite Four Member.

@themostspecialestlegendaryever: A blog for Latias, the world's best, most specialest legendary ever.

@pokestar-rosa: A blog for Rosa who decided bring Champion wasn't for her and became an actor instead. It's also an excuse for me to give screenwriting and movie nerd rants.

@landandseaunited: Archie and Maxie are reformed and dating. Good for them.

@kalos-news-network-official: The official blog for the Kalos News Network, run by Malva, Chief Bitch.

@leavesofbattle: A blog for Leaf as an adult.

@naranja-uva-student-council: An AU where all four protags of ScarVio are on the Student Council instead of just Nemona. Inspired by Kaguya-Sama: Love is War.

@shiftingbetweenrealities: As a result of the final showdown at Spear Pillar, Cynthia has found herself cast out into the multiverse, constantly changing universes. Unfortunately, her physical body was not cast into the multiverse, only her mind, so she inhabits the body of whatever Cynthia is native to that universe.

@hoenn-battle-frontier-official: Blog for the Hoenn Battle Frontier, located in LaRousse City, run by Anabel.

@xxcodeveeveexx: Cassiopeia | Any Pronouns | Likes: Veevees, Coding, Anime, Video Games | Dislikes: Social Interactions, Bullies

@lea-hi: "Faller" (not really cause no Ultra Wormholes but I'm the only one who seems to care about the actual definition) blog for Lea from CrossCode.

@friendly-neighborhood-calem: You can call her Callie. Or Cal on boy days. Yes, I made a second Calem blog shut up. This one's the rival, not the protag, so it's different. And also she's gender-fluid.

@its-gonna-be-may: You ever see My Next Life as a Villainess? It's like that but with May.

@maydaysjournal: May's School Counselor suggested that she keep a Diary Journal. Also, her dads are Archie and Maxie.

@special-magma-friends: A blog for Courtney and Tabitha. Courtney chose the blog name.

@asterinspace: A blog for Aster, an astronaut an Astrobiologist living on the Lunala Moon Base.

@miles-edgeworth-official: Chief Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth has found himself trapped in the Pokemon World. Now he has become... Regular Prosecutor Edgeworth.

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

RED ONE (2024)

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, JK Simmons, Kiernan Shipka, Bonnie Hunt, Kristofer Hivju, Nick Kroll, Wesley Kimmel, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Marc Evan Jackson, Jenna Kanell, Clayton Cooper, Lanz Duffy, Makana David, Samantha Benson, Ashleigh Domangue, Cody Easterbrook, Nikki Garza, Abel Arias and the voice of Reinaldo Faberlle.

Screenplay by Chris Morgan.

Directed by Jake Kasdan.

Distributed by Amazon MGM Studios. 123 minutes. Rated PG-13.

Once upon a time, in the movies, Santa Claus was just a hefty, jolly, bearded guy in a red and white suit who went about doing good deeds and distributing toys and was a good friend to reindeer. Somewhere along the line, though – probably about the time of How the Grinch Stole Christmas in the 1966 TV special – Hollywood decided to make him darker. However, the Grinch wasn’t really Santa, he was a bad guy who was masquerading as the St. Nick.

The real dark quirky times probably started early in the millennium with the Billy Bob Thornton starrer Bad Santa. But, again, this wasn’t the real Santa, it was just an alcoholic con artist running a scam as a mall Santa.

Soon enough the movies started making the questionable choices and ethics about the real Santa, though, and Christmas movies are just turning into genre pastiches. Forget peace, goodwill and joy to the world. Even the commercial aspects of the holiday, like presents, are now just getting cursory glances.

Just last year, Santa was portrayed as a dirty, homeless alcoholic who was more than willing to savagely mow through some naughty criminals in Violent Night. Now, less than a year after slasher Santa, why not make him a ripped and unpredictable action star, and slip him into a film that seems like an unholy merge of Fast and Furious, a particularly obnoxious mythological Marvel movie and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?

Which brings us to Red One.

Now, actually, Santa is not in a huge chunk of Red One, because the film is about Santa being kidnapped just days before Christmas. This is actually a real shame, because casting JK Simmons as Santa is by far the smartest decision made in this film, even if they play up some of the wrong things about the character. Simmons has an enviable physique for a man of his age, but showing how buff Santa is goes in direct contradiction of holiday lore. Still, Simmons is the best thing in Red One, and when he is not on screen the film suffers for it.

So, if this film is only tangentially about Santa, what is it about? Well, mostly a mish mash of vague holiday ideas pureed through tired action tropes that have been done better – and made much more sense – in many other movies.

In the world of Red One, the North Pole and the toy factory are like a military operation, full of regulations, cutting edge technology, and a strange amount of odd alien creatures. (Walking talking grizzly bears, for example, or elves which look like undercooked versions of Harry Potter’s Dobby. Even the half-brother of Santa is an evil looking goat troll.)

The real stars here, though, are Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans, both slumming for a relatively easy paycheck.

Johnson plays Cal, Santa’s stone-faced head bodyguard, the leader of Enforcement Logistics and Fortification (E.L.F., get it? Okay, it isn’t funny.) He has just decided to retire from his job after hundreds of years, because of course he did. Getting ready for his final trip, he is thrown into saving Santa (code name: Red One) from an evil Icelandic shape-shifting witch (Kiernan Shipka, taking advantage of her witch experience from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) who is determined to take over the holiday and punish everyone on the naughty list.

Evans is Jack, a “level four naughty lister,” who we are introduced to in a prologue where when he was a child, he was charging his cousins for what he called proof that Santa wasn’t real. He has grown up to be an alcoholic, gambling, thieving deadbeat dad who also just happens to be the greatest hacker on the dark web.

When one of his hacks shows the kidnappers how to find Santa, Jack is hunted down by M.O.R.A., the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority (lots of weird agencies in this movie). In fact, they do it surprisingly easily considering he is supposed to be an impossible-to-identify specter on the dark web. Jack is forced to help find the big guy with them, taken on a whirlwind tour of tropical islands with killer snowmen, a medieval castle that seems to have been populated by the random alien characters from the Star Wars cantina band sequence, and several other supposedly life-threatening experiences.

Not surprisingly, Cal and Jack, who are immediately antagonistic, grow a grudging respect for each other. And then, completely out of the blue, the film drops a completely gratuitous speech about love, family and the holiday spirit, because they suddenly remembered this was supposed to be a Christmas movie.

I’m not sure who this film is supposed to be for. It is too violent and has too much foul language for kids but is too ridiculous and disjointed for adults. But perhaps that is the answer. Maybe Red One is for no one.

Put Red One on the naughty list and leave a lump of coal in its stocking.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2024 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: November 14, 2024.

[maks-punchout-hyperfixtion]

"do you ever shut up?"

thanks to atypical-artisan for helping with the errors!

given that it's a mini story i'll post it here to, but for those who like ao3 stuff i'll give the link here

story in undercut!

The locker room was pure bliss and quiet, with only a cat and water bowl in the entire room. Well that ended as Ardin slammed the door open, prideful of her victory against the cat's owner.

“Maybe train harder and you can win a world fight one day Vicky.”

“I am begging you to actually shut up.” Vicky muttered as she headed to her locker. “Hi Katz. Hope you didn't feel too lonely.”

Vicky petted Katz, who let out a satisfied purr, as she proceeded to open her locker.

“You're just upset that I won and you didn't.” Ardin said, slightly in a mocking tone as she opened her locker and took a bag out. “And I would love to keep rubbing it in. But i got shit to do so goodbye ‘emper-”

Ardin ran right into the door backing up just a bit to comprehend what was happening.

“The feck?” “what?” “The bloody door is stuck?” “Wh-”

ardin kicked the door, which still wasn't moving.

“The damn thing is stuck!”

“What?! How the hell? came in!”

“The devils light. algún nombre español al azar? Im not even gonna try to pronounce this one- jesus fuck aran where did you get these?” “Oh like i'm rattin’ anyone out to you, lucky.” “I'm more impressed by how you kept crates in your locker than anything.”

“They put fireworks in front of the fucking door.” Ardin muttered.

“You can hear?”

“Barely.”

Ardin backed away from the doors.

“Normally I would just set the damn things off but i'm very certain lucky is there and well they aren't livin’ up their name in the “don't get hurt” department.”

Vicky rolled her eyes.

“And worst is that the other exit is the gyms and that's getting a deep clean. Any ideas?”

Ardin held up a phone.

“Call them?” “Yes! Cal- wait a fucking minute.” Vicky patted her pockets before snatching her phone back.

“You shouldn't have that in the ring ya know.”

“For your information it was- ah damn it. It's dead.”

Vicky placed her phone in her pocket before turning to Ardin.

“Left mine in my bike.”

“What?”

“Under the seat is hollow so I can put bags and whatever in it.”

Ardin walked over to her locker and opened it.

“In due time they're gonna move those damn things to the basement.”

Vicky muttered, before looking over at Ardin. Curiosity getting the best of her.

Ardin wasn't one to allow her locker to be seen for some reason. So the fact she was crouched down definitely gave a spot to look in it. Vicky walked over just enough to see the inside.

It was very neat. Literally there were six different first aid kits on the locker well. A clear space where her bag would have gone.. oh hey that's why, she had a whole bottle of liquor stashed in the corner. Her gloves were neatly hung up, weird Vicky didn't notice her take them off, she shrugged and started to walk to her locker when she saw the locker door.

It had pictures on it, lots. Some were of Aran, some of Andrew who Vicky didn't recognize much, some of two other people, one of the two being lucky, And some of a couple of birds, with captions of lunar under a yellow one and solar under the black one, and a dog, who had no captions. The only stand outish picture was one that had two sticky notes on the end covering two people up. With one having Angel wings and halo while the other had devil horns and tail. Curious Vicky tried to take them off.

Only for the locker to slam shut and Ardin looking pissed.

“Now I know feckin' better than to assume your dad out there didn't teach you not to touch people's shit!”

She shouted. Vicky immediately backed up at that, not really knowing what to say as Ardin’s eyes showed icy glares. After a bit, Ardin rolled her eyes, growled, and picked up the liquor bottle and slightly shut the door.

“You uh know you shouldn't-”

“oh please you and those mystery rules you have, what's next you're gonna see my hair is not up to code? Give me a break.” Ardin Opened the bottle and took a swig at it.

“Ok but that's still bad!”

“God, do you ever shut up! You know this is why you and your father are 2nd in the Minor circuit!” Ardin turned and looked at Vicky. “You're too obsessed with your looks, you criticize others unwarranted, and you are actin’ like you're one of the feckin' officials!”

Ardin shouted before grumbling something and headed to the sinks. Vicky was shocked at the whole altercation. And just sat down on the bench as Katz jumped up to her.

The two sat in silence for a good while, not much to say after something like that, outside the purring from Katz. Looking at the time it was nearly 10.

“God, we've been here a while.” Vicky thought. Before sighing and going over to Ardin, holding Katz like a doll.

“Hey Ardin, uh.”

Ardin gave a glare, and her hand moved into a position where her thumb was the ceiling. Vicky had a sense of dread loom over her.

“Uh, I just wanted to say sorry.”

Ardin had a look of confusion as Vicky said that.

“I know I tend to be. Um, what's the word?”

“Annoying and obnoxious?”

“..right..”

Vicky looked awkwardly at the mirror, not really knowing exactly what to say before Ardin sighed.

“Lass you don't need to apologize.”

Vicky looked very confused as she turned back to Ardin.

“Huh?” “Look.”

Ardin pushed the bottle away before looking at Vicky.

“It was an overreaction. On my part. You were just curious and-”

“No, it was completely reasonable.”

Vicky placed Katz on the counter as she said that.

“It was your stuff. I shouldn't have tried to mess with it. And you're right.”

Vicky placed her arms on the sink.

“I’m constantly nagging folks about everything. I know I shouldn't, they aren't kids in the rookie league but you know I just worry about them.”

“oh i know that feeling.”

Vicky did a double take on what Ardin said before looking at her bewildered.

“Huh?” “Well not with everyone. Just a few.”

Ardin grabbed the bottle and jokingly offered it to Vicky, who refused.

“And those few are?” “Me brothers, caff, and zoid.”

Vicky had a more confused look, before she opened her mouth Ardin put a finger up.

“I can explain them.”

She took another swig of the bottle before pushing it away.

“Look. Me brothers should be oblivious. Aran is constantly cheating, getting his arms hurt at least once a week, and Andrew? Hah that guy couldn't even keep his anger under control if he wanted.”

Ardin looked at the mirror, albeit almost lonely.

“Caff and zoid are another story. Zoid is just 17 years old, vic. She doesn't know what could happen to her here. Sure we are very close to the Canada border but c'mon that's not comforting to someone with common sense. And caff…”

Ardin sighed before looking at Vicky again.

“Don't tell me you don't think something off about her.”

Vicky was more concerned and confused now than ever.

“I think you had enough..” “no i'm serious! You ever see her around for long? You ever notice how every lost seems to have her go emotionless in rematches? How she looks at her coach with fear?”

Vicky took a moment to process that. Come to think of it, Caff was actually scheduled for a fight this morning but nobody actually seen her after it. Actually the fact ardin noticed all that.

“Wait, how did you notice all that and not any of us? I'm certain raven would have stepped in if she saw it.”

Ardin had a look of upset and pain before she covered her face. “Cause those were the same fucking reaction me siblings had with dad.”

Vicky looked shocked upon hearing that. As Ardin just sighed.

“I. I can't go into details but it wasn't anything physical. The bastard was just a drug Loving drunk who oh so loved to put his insecurities on us. Roree and Andrew specifically.”

Ardin reached for the bottle but Vicky just pulled it away.

“Ardin. Why didn't- “

“cause frankly it didn't matter. But it landed them in situations they shouldn't have been in, you know me and lucky aren't the only ones who needed a hospital stay? I'm glad the bastard’s dead but.”

Ardin bit her hand which caused Vicky to automatically pull it away. Ardin just pulled back.

“But what?”

Ardin looked down before sighing.

“The last time he was bailed out by my mother was the last day we seen either of them alive. Drunk driver crashed into them. He died instantly, and he just had to drag her with.”

Vicky looked at Ardin with pity for a bit.

“I wish we could trade mother's then.”

Ardin looked at Vicky.

“Ah right your dads single. What happened to your mom?” “Oh nothing as bad as she deserved.”

Ardin was shocked to hear that Vicky was always kind when talking about others so this was a surprise.

“Sorry sorry. I know that's out of character but- but she's just one of those I can't see redemption in.”

Now Vicky was the one taking swigs out of the bottle before she continued.

“She's still alive. She left me and dad when I was around 7. Wanted nothing to do with me. Wanted her own mini her! Can you believe that? So when she tried everything and it failed she sent me to military school. Jokes on her dad got me into boxing class.”

Vicky chuckled at that part.

“She left a year before the school closed. Then we moved here and never saw her again.”

Ardin put a hand on Vicky's shoulder before yanking the bottle away.

“You had enough.”

There was a pause before both of them started laughing, mainly at the whole thing.

“God what is this therapy? We get trapped in the locker rooms and next we're complaining about our parents!”

Vicky said, causing concern in katz.

“Fuck sake really. This is the weakest either one of us has been huh?”

Ardin went back to her locker and put the bottle away. The two stopped laughing eventually but another thing hit them as they looked at each other.

“Let's um. Let's just take this to the grave, ja?” “Ay you read my mind- uh is that smoke?”

Ardin pointed at the door as Vicky walked over and looked at it.

“And..sparks?”

The two looked at eachother, and remembered that the door opened both ways.

“I suggest we take cover.” “Yeah that's a good plan.”

The two dashed off in different directions just as a firework shot into the room. More to follow. Vicky grabbed Katz and hid under the sinks while Ardin hid in the showers. Colorful lights blinding the two as they closed their eyes, vicky shielding Katz eyes and ears, until they suddenly stopped. A ringing was still being heard as Ardin got out of the shower. Located vicky and pulled her out from under the sinks just as lucky popped their head in.

“What the- you both were in here the whole time?!” “Yeah! Did you all forget or what?!”

Deedee walked in, trying to put a small flame out and looked at the damages.

“Honestly we didn't know how heavy those things actually were. Or how fragile they were to just go off. What the hell were you two doing in here without calling us anyways?”

Vicky and Ardin looked at each other before shrugging.

“Asking the other if they ever shut up.”