#calling all fashionable gamer queers

[banjotheturtle]

OUJI FASHION IN FASHION DREAMER!!

Not a drill guys we finally get ouji fashion, I managed to see two ouji outfits in the trailer look :))

It looks like we get a little brother style and a big brother style! Of course I don’t think there will be that much Ouji in the game but we do get some.

Btw if you see anymore which I didn’t spot feel free to reblog with pictures of them :)

[cottonundiestf]

I posted 253 times in 2022

That's 253 more posts than 2021!

146 posts created (58%)

107 posts reblogged (42%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cottonundiestf

@candis-thots

@bimbosanddolls

@hypno-dolly

@pretty-bimbo-baby

I tagged 152 of my posts in 2022

Only 40% of my posts had no tags

#ooc - 76 posts

#layla rose - 26 posts

#the layla game - 21 posts

#iq loss - 12 posts

#self oc - 8 posts

#sex sigil game - 7 posts

#transformation kink - 7 posts

#brainwashing - 6 posts

#writing - 6 posts

#caption story - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 52 characters

#that's a whole lot of words to say you're anti-trans

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I know the kinds of kinks I peddle in

so I DO want to be VERY clear, especially as election season looms over us. This account is:

pro-abortion pro-feminism anti-patriarchal systems (outside of kink) pro-LGBTQIA+ pro-BLM anti-capitalist pro-deconstructing toxic faith trauma

and pretty much just incredibly fucking leftist.

If you are genuinely anti-women's rights, anti-queer, or support racist power structures or politicians that enable any of these things, I have no love for you. My blog is not a safe space for you.

Stay safe and happy, comrades.

280 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

#4

Mona didn't remember how she stumbled on ComfyGoddess' stream, but she'd gotten hooked on the pink aesthetics and soothing music. As a competitive gamer, "titty streamers" normally bugged her, but after a stressful day, Comfy's streams were the perfect way to clear her mind.

Comfy gave Mona so much attention in chat, and they even talked in DMs. Comfy had some great videos and advice to share, improving Mona's makeup and fashion game. She didn't used to think much about her appearance, but she got it now; she was less stressed and way more comfy now!

See the full post

314 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#3

"Thanks for letting me stay in your dorm for the night. My girlfriend asked me if she could have the room to herself. I'm ready to crash, I just gotta put on my headphones before bed. What am I listening to?"

Summer offers her headphones.

𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑦 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠. 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒. 𝐺𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑟𝑙𝑠 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑟.

Summer smiled at you as you listened to the mantra with a blank stare. Mistress said you would; now Summer just had to call her over.

343 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

Jenny stared at you from the back seat as you drove, still miffed. You told her your new car had state-of-the-art seatbelts that always rested snugly and securely.

You neglected to mention that it did that by adjusting her breasts, not the belt. Now her massive jugs fit perfectly in your car, but less so in her shirt. Adjustments had to be made.

543 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Twitter: Exploding. Tumblr: This could be our chance to finally regain some of our loss membership numbers! The People of Tumblr: Bitch, I don't think you remember how hard we worked to make this place unprofitable.

626 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

FOR THE RECORD, that was NOT my top post in 2022. Tumblr is lying and hind it because my TOP post was the cow bikini transformation! The censorship of it all!

[johannestevans]

An essay, a romance, two podcast episodes, and a TweetFic!

Good evening!

I've just been chugging away this week as I've been really enjoying a videogame between other things called Kingdom Come.

It is, tragically, very heterosexual, but despite that I've been having a good deal of fun with it - it's a first-person action RPG set in Bohemia in 1403, heavily based off of real events, and prides itself on its realism.

When I first started out with it I had a lot of difficulty because it's intended to be a hard game and there's a steep learning curve, but once I got a hang of it I really got into it, and I'm enjoying it a lot! It's highly immersive, it gives you a lot of information about the context of the period and the culture around you, and I really enjoy a lot of the gameplay.

With that said, the game prides itself on its "historical accuracy", and while the broader events are contained, like... This is a white European gamer's idea of "historical accuracy". There's no queers, there's no POC, the gender stuff is very much based, again, in a white gamer's assumption of men versus women, etc. I'm very much enjoying it despite all these flaws, but the idea that it's historically accurate with no political slant to that "accuracy" would be very silly, lol.

I mean, just take the fashion alone - one of the context notes even mentions the different styles of clothing design based on things like gender, including the fact that fashionable men would often grow their hair out a bit... And then every man has the same 4 ugly gamer hairstyles, including two different styles of bad undercut, because longer hair styles would make this sort of man feel threatened and like his avatar looks too gay.

It's also a little bit janky and the visuals are not the best, with various bugs - if you enjoy Skyrim despite its fucky controls and flawed visuals, Kingdom Come isn't much worse than that! But they very much are there, and it's a little frustrating.

I'm gonna keep tipping away at it for the time being, and get all the juice out of it I can.

Media Recs

The chaotic reality of being a trans man on Grindr: From d**k pics to existential crises by Jackson King- I've obviously written about being a trans dude and cruising before, but Jackson's experiences as a big Black man are obviously different to mine as a white twink, and it's really interesting seeing where our experiences are similar and where they diverge!

Death Investigations: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - This is an old episode of Last Week Tonight and John Oliver is not everybody's cup of tea, but I actually enjoy the show's dives and explanations into a lot of topics, and this one is so fucked up and Lewis even watched it even though they hate it when I send them videos that are longer than 5 minutes, so! This is a dive into the politics around death investigations in the US, the differences between coroners and medical examiners, the lack of regulation, etc.

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985, dir. Stephen Frears, wr. Hanif Kureishi) - So, this is a big movie from the 80s - I've recced a lot of Frears' flicks before, I like his work as a director, and this one is really interesting and pretty different from his usual biopics. It's a really interesting film in terms of its editing, its sound design, and its general presentation - it does a lot of creative time skips, a lot of details and context occur offscreen and make you fill in the gaps or infer the specifics, it's funny, it's emotionally complicated... Yeah. We saw it at the Palás and I just really appreciated it - it's been on my list for a while, and I'm glad I watched it!

New Works Published

Essay: Passing Privilege: Through My Eyes, as a Trans Man Who Passes

Second puberty and the waves we send through the spaces around us.

On Patreon / On Medium / On Tumblr

Romance Short: Very Well

A herbalist is dispatched to be the wife of a faraway priest.

Romance short, 7.5k, rated M. A herbalist is dispatched for his role in an arranged marriage of sorts with a priest of Aristaeus far from home. Adapted from a TweetFic.

On Patreon / On Medium

New episode of The Story: Wild Country

Horror short. 3k, Gen, rated T. Originally posted February 16th, 2023. A young woman walks home on a foggy night. First person POV, originally posted on /r/NoSleep.

On Spotify / On Google Podcasts / RSS Feed

New bonus episode of The Story: Centre Pocket

Centre Pocket, originally published December 1st, 2022.

2.5k, rated E, cis M/M.

After teasing all day, a twink gets bent over the dive bar’s pool table. Public sex at a pub lock-in, size difference, age difference, humiliation and degradation, anal sex with condoms, dirty talk, multiple partners, object insertion, implications of a gangbang.

On Glow / On Patreon

New TweetFic: Ordinary Love

suicidal artist who spends most of his time drinking heavily and getting high off paint turps who is obsessively in love with and keeps doing highly eroticised portraits of the local butcher who is literally just Some Guy but he is very flattered

CWs for suicidality, alcoholism, severe mental illness, past trauma, mentions of CSA and abuse. With those CWs in mind, this is pretty light, funny, and loving.

99_monochrome made some gorgeous art in response to this piece too! It's here.

On Twitter

That's all! See you next week!

Get merch on TeePublic | | Look through my Directory of Published Work | | Listen to my Podcast

[thatnonb1ny-cvmslut]

What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you during sex?

Do you have a favorite erotica/porn trope?

What are your favorite things to be called during sex?

What kinds of clothes or styles do you find sexiest on yourself or others?

Tag someone and give them a compliment.

What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you during sex?

Ok there's been plenty of hilarious things happen to me during sex. One that comes to mind would be the time and ex and I had friends over for drinking and fun. My friends weren't too keen to play that day so me and my ex hit the room, and as soon as I'm face deep in my ex's pussy the door flies open and my friend asks me about the wifi password, I give it to him as I'm still working my ex with my fingers and as my friend closes the door he states "thanks..smells like sex in here.." and proceeds to close the door like nothing happened. We ended up spit roasting my ex later but had a good chuckle before about the barging in.

Do you have a favorite erotica/porn trope?

Amateur porn, give me shaky cameras, actual lust, real moans and uncontrollable orgasms captured in the moment. Little known fact, film theory in HS and a penchant for the perverse had me wanting to be a porn director/producer when I was younger. I appreciate bigger budgets but they lack any kind of actual turn on factor beyond the fantastical nature of it all.

What are your favorite things to be called during sex?

Ooh theres a few such as good boy(when feeling masc) dirty little slut(hardly ever get that but 😳🥵) Daddy(non age player ok, don't come at me over this one) Sir more that don't come to mind ATM.

What kinds of clothes or styles do you find sexiest on yourself or others?

I like suits on afabs, dresses and skirts on amabs, give me queer fashion, tek wear, on me or others these are my usual go to if I feel like dressing up over my casual perverted gamer/alt look I go for on a daily.

Tag someone and give them a compliment.

@cl0wnprince @ftmswirl @slutcore-starships

Tagging all three of you for being such sweethearts, showing so much strength and growth in your own rights. Keep that shit up, it looks great on y'all!

Thank you for the ask anon!

[lotti-lyric]

Hello may I request a matchup for my male OC?

His name is Charles Kendrick, an English-Welsh student of UA with Celtic and British roots. He's 5'6", kinda skinny with fair skin, brown hair, hazel eyes, and has a lot of small moles and freckles. His fashion is either a gamer or a jock. Queer but goes with he/him pronouns, ENFP, and a Gryffinpuff. Extrovert, laid-back, free spirited, appreciative, and genuine person who loves to socialize with other people on and off the social media sites. Naturally funny because of his contagious laugh and he's extremely careful to sensitive people. He may have a pleasing personality, but once he sensed there are fake friends or backstabbers, he'll just call them out when they're not in front of them until they disconnect with him.

He's also mildly rebellious, can be rude when he's in a bad mood, and swears a lot even he didn't mean it just to look cool. He doesn't even care if he has a failing grades because he believes that learning is everywhere, not in books alone. That's why he condemned his family for being manipulative but they're actually discipling him. Not to mention he's also flirtatious (but in a friendly way), where his punchlines are annoying but sweet, this is his way to have a significant other. But unfortunately, he's only good on words, not on actions.

A proud gamer, he could spent his time to his computer or any gaming consoles all throughout the day. Very active in social media considering he also have a lot of friends there, also creates memes and have a blog dedicated to aesthetic photos. He can make a program or a website for being a computer enthusiast plus a rugby player even he's not the best among the team.

charlotte’s interlude 💗- hey hi!! sorry for the confusion, im quite slow 😭 i hope you enjoy, your character writing is so great!! have a great day!

warnings;

i match you with…

Denki Kaminari!! (aka Chargebolt)

this song for them!! ^^

kami noticed charles’s humor first!!

he loved just how extroverted charles is!! he feels like he can be open and fun with him

kami isn’t super rebellious but he wouldn’t mind charles’s rebellious nature, he always supports charles and tries to cheer him up!

THE FLIRTATIOUS NATURE ON BOTH OF THEM

they have absolutely terrible pick up line battles

“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile 🤪”

“Are you trash? Because I wanna take you OUT 🤪”

“OOOO GOOD ONE BABE”

gaming together is a frequent activity!! kami isn’t as good as charles but he tries 💀💀

emphasis on tries

he loves how smart charles is on technology!! he’ll ask him to fix the computer when literally all charles had to do was unplug it and plug it back in 💀

IF CHARLES HAD A RUGBY TEAM JACKET, IT IS ALWAYS ON KAMI NO MATTER WHAT

that isn’t charles’s jacket anymore, it’s kami’s now 💀

all in all, they’re such a fun couple omg

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hello may I request a BNHA matchup for my male OC?

His name is Charles Kendrick, an English-Welsh student of UA with Celtic and British roots. He's 17, 5'6", kinda plump with fair skin, brown hair, hazel eyes, and has a lot of small moles and freckles. His fashion is either a gamer or a jock. Queer but goes with he/him pronouns, ENFP, and a Gryffinpuff. Extrovert, laid-back, free spirited, appreciative, and genuine person who loves to socialize with other people on and off the social media sites. Naturally funny because of his contagious laugh and he's extremely careful to sensitive people. He may have a pleasing personality, but once he sensed there are fake friends or backstabbers, he'll just call them out when they're not in front of them until they disconnect with him.

He's also mildly rebellious, can be rude when he's in a bad mood, and swears a lot even he didn't mean it just to look cool. He doesn't even care if he has a failing grades because he believes that learning is everywhere, not in books alone. That's why he condemned his family for being manipulative but they're actually discipling him. Not to mention he's also flirtatious (but in a friendly way), where his punchlines are annoying but sweet, this is his way to have a significant other. But unfortunately, he's only good on words, not on actions.

A proud gamer, he could spent his time to his computer or any gaming consoles all throughout the day. Very active in social media considering he also have a lot of friends there, also creates memes and have a blog dedicated to aesthetic photos. He can make a program or a website for being a computer enthusiast plus a rugby player even he's not the best among the team.

Ooh this is very cool, thanks for the request! There’s a lot of students that would like his company, but I think that the person that would like his company the most is...

Denki

He loves Charles’s laidback personality a lot. He too, believes that learning can take more than one form, and the two of them probably bonded through that. He really likes just hanging out with Charles, even if that means the two of them are just scrolling through their phones and sitting next to each other. They are honestly a vibe.

Please share memes with Denki. He loves them, and he likes humorous people in general. The two of them are lowkey class-clowns of their own classes (unless their in the same class) and I can imagine how popular they are to the students because of this. The teachers, on the other hand, might find their combo too perfect that they can’t get through lessons sometimes haha. But overall, everyone likes how they are able to make people smile, and that’s one thing Denki admires so much about Charles.

He loves video games too, so there’s bound to be long gaming sessions between the two of them. The games can honestly be anything, from rpgs to just Minecraft, they would have so much fun no matter what it is. I can imagine them having small competitions like who can do a faster speedrun on a certain level and the loser has to buy dinner on their next night out or so. If Charles is busy in a rugby game, Denki's out there cheering super loudly for him. It's honestly so cute to the people that see it!

Denki definitely doesn’t mind the grades or the swearing, he just wants to be with someone who has fun vibes, and Charles is the exact person Denki wants in his life.

[siliquasquama]

This is what the phrase "the gay community" sounds like to me:

"And that's why we need to have a dialogue about the -- (Shit, Bob, what do we call these people?)"

"(Gay?)"

"(No I mean collectively.)"

"(The gays?)"

"(That makes us sound like a couple of bible-thumpers!)"

"(Well then I don't know, just call them a community or something.)"

" -- The gay community."

[reavenedges-lies]

Rea's Taglist Masterlist

Please feel free to blacklist or follow any tags in this list. These are my commonly used tags from the last year or so (I'm still new to the tagging game) including but not limited to my hockey tags. If you'd like me to start using tags for certain things please let me know via ask or dm!

I won't be posting every tag as there are a lot of individual NHLers (and their respective teams) i've posted about (and tagged) due to suspensions, fines and the like, however I will be posting players who have custom tags along with their normal tag.

I will not be posting all of my "_____ opinion piece" tags separately as there is/or will be one for every team as needed, instead they will be posted as "opinion piece: list of team name/nicknames used".

Ask games have their own tags but also an overarching one, as such they won't all be listed either.

Items in lists are relevant to each other but are distinct as shown by commas.

These Are In No Particular Order

”(insert team name here) opinion piece” : habs , nhl draft , isles , yotes , caps , bruins , kraken , avs , tampa , pens

pens lb

pittsburgh penguins

pens stats

penguins tape

penguins goal

rens gdrive stuff

sidney crosby , making fun of sidney crosby hours? , elite goaltender sidney crosby

pens hockey injuries

nhl

my favorite fuckboi , zach aston reese , sweatypits__

back on the pk

infographic

yotes lb

arizona coyotes

starting lineup

nhl dops

2021 offseason

jared mccann , let the canner simping begin lol

1st intermission , 2nd intermission , 3rd intermission , 4th intermission , ect.

judgmental bird noises

bryan rust , rusty is hot leave me alone

i want change

tom wilson , tom wilson discourse

to the power play!

pens lb crew

penguins roundup

generic hockey thought

sad lad hours

teddy blueger , Teodors Bļugers

nhl dops stuff 2021 22, nhl dops stuff 2022 23

nhl rulebook 2021 22, nhl rulebook 2022 23

like pens jerseys make men out of tissue paper sometimes

jason zucker , zuckerpunched

conor sheary , conor shear the hockey love of my life

hockey injuries

nathan mackinnon , yunggnate29

nhl covid 19 protocol

nhl 2021 rulebook,

bad call ref

yotes tape

yotes goals

hockey

round up tapes

philadelphia flyers , im such a terrible pens fan for these boys

nhl draft (insert year here)

nhl awards (insert year here)

NHL Trade Deadline (insert year here)

hockeyblr

tristan jarry , elite goaltender tristan jarry

NHL 2013 CBA and 2020 MOU

wb/s penguins

nhl misc goals

hockey boy livestream

pens roster

leon draisaitl , german wonder bread

home opener 2021 22 , home opener 2022 23

pens cleanout day

kappy/tans aka the new bromance

4 on 4 hockey

nhl hockey injuries

hockeyblr rpf discourse

hockeyblr directory

penguins helm

mic'd up

bonus hockey

bonus bonus hockey

hockey smooches

1d to hockey pipeline

yotes hockey injuries

love your tendys tenderly!!

5 on 3 hockey

nhl suspension

post game interview

starting goaltender

I want change

NHL News

NHLPA

the bois are fighting

hockey is for everyone

nhl player safety

1st NHL goal

nhl free agency 2021, nhl free agency 2022

nhl discourse

Two Headed Monster

nhl related

pens dad duty updates

nhl cheatsheets

nwsl , national womens soccer league

rookie lap

goalie interference

hockey soulmates , and i dub thee hockey husbands

coyotes roundup

hockey birthdays!

🍆 trick , 🎩 trick

hockey rules/gen questions

'introducing me' by ren

chit chat is right

rea answers , thanks for rhe ask lovely!

ren rants

anon ask

ask game

ren is friend shaped

nhl ask game!

look its me!

fuck you guys ill be horny on main if i want

rea is a gamer , kanarenee on ps4 , kanarenee on twitch.tv

vic and rens 2am talks

rens tinfoil hat

rens pets!

queer as fuck , queer as in fuck you

massive blog changes?? , icon change again?

ren watches tennis

rens 3am hot takes

tag games

reas questionable taste in fashion and men

ren has no impulse control

ren rants no reblogs

rens blog got deleted

ren maybe rea on twitter

rea's taglist masterlist

ren gets political

my emotional support mutuals

ren is a petty bitch

delete later maybe?

genuinely angry rea

rea draws

ren jokes as a coping mechanism , for my own records , my edit , my memes

ren_maybe_rea on twitter

theatre nerd stuff

not quite theatre

tape recording

the athletic , athletic article requests

for reference

'pinned' post

kanarene 4328 9852 3365 , < thats my pokemon go username and trainer code

critrole watching

tiktok

tagging this for filtering purposes:

pic crew

my spotify

lgbtqia+

palaeontology

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

players tribune

queer history

carl the iggy , the better aston reese , carl aston reese

shout out to @firefly-graphics for the page breaks/dividers

[ren-is-being-silenced]

Ren’s Taglist Masterlist

This Is Being Changed Currently <3

Please feel free to blacklist or follow any tags in this list. These are my commonly used tags from the last year or so on my main. If you’d like me to start using tags for certain things please let me know via ask or dm!

I won’t be posting every tag as there are a lot of individual NHLers (and their respective teams) i’ve posted about (and tagged) due to suspensions, fines and the like, however I will be posting players who have custom tags along with their normal tag.

I will not be posting all of my “_____ opinion piece” tags separately as there is/or will be one for every team as needed, instead they will be posted as “opinion piece: list of team name/nicknames used”.

Ask games have their own tags but also an overarching one, as such they won’t all be listed either.

Items in lists are relevant to each other but are distinct as shown by commas.

These Are In No Particular Order

”(insert team name here) opinion piece” : habs , nhl draft , isles , yotes , caps , bruins , kraken , avs , tampa , pens

pens lb

pittsburgh penguins

pens stats

penguins tape

penguins goal

rens gdrive stuff

sidney crosby , making fun of sidney crosby hours? , elite goaltender sidney crosby

pens hockey injuries

nhl

my favorite fuckboi , zach aston reese , sweatypits__

back on the pk

infographic

yotes lb

arizona coyotes

starting lineup

nhl dops

2021 offseason

jared mccann , let the canner simping begin lol

1st intermission , 2nd intermission , 3rd intermission , 4th intermission , ect.

judgmental bird noises

bryan rust , rusty is hot leave me alone

i want change

tom wilson , tom wilson discourse

to the power play!

pens lb crew

penguins roundup

generic hockey thought

sad lad hours

teddy blueger , Teodors Bļugers

nhl dops stuff 2021 22

nhl rulebook 2021 22

like pens jerseys make men out of tissue paper sometimes

jason zucker , zuckerpunched

conor sheary , conor shear the hockey love of my life

hockey injuries

nathan mackinnon , yunggnate29

nhl covid 19 protocol

nhl 2021 rulebook

bad call ref

yotes tape

yotes goals

hockey

round up tapes

philadelphia flyers , im such a terrible pens fan for these boys

nhl draft (insert year here)

nhl awards (insert year here)

NHL Trade Deadline (insert year here)

hockeyblr

tristan jarry , elite goaltender tristan jarry

NHL 2013 CBA and 2020 MOU

wb/s penguins

nhl misc goals

hockey boy livestream

pens roster

leon draisaitl , german wonder bread

home opener 2021 22

pens cleanout day

kappy/tans aka the new bromance

4 on 4 hockey

nhl hockey injuries

hockeyblr rpf discourse

hockeyblr directory

penguins helm

mic’d up

bonus hockey

bonus bonus hockey

hockey smooches

1d to hockey pipeline

yotes hockey injuries

love your tendys tenderly!!

5 on 3 hockey

nhl suspension

post game interview

starting goaltender

I want change

NHL News

NHLPA

the bois are fighting

hockey is for everyone

nhl player safety

1st NHL goal

nhl free agency 2021

nhl discourse

Two Headed Monster

nhl related

pens dad duty updates

nhl cheatsheets

nwsl , national womens soccer league

rookie lap

goalie interference

hockey soulmates , and i dub thee hockey husbands

coyotes roundup

hockey birthdays!

🍆 trick , 🎩 trick

‘introducing me’ by ren

chit chat is right

rea answers , thanks for rhe ask lovely!

ren rants

anon ask

ask game

ren is friend shaped

nhl ask game!

look its me!

fuck you guys ill be horny on main if i want

rea is a gamer , kanarenee on ps4 , kanarenee on twitch.tv

vic and rens 2am talks

rens tinfoil hat

rens pets!

queer as fuck , queer as in fuck you

massive blog changes?? , icon change again?

ren watches tennis

rens 3am hot takes

tag games

reas questionable taste in fashion and men

ren has no impulse control

ren rants no reblogs

rens blog got deleted

ren maybe rea on twitter

rea’s taglist masterlist

ren gets political

my emotional support mutuals

ren is a petty bitch

delete later maybe?

genuinely angry rea

rea draws

ren jokes as a coping mechanism , for my own records , my edit , my memes

ren_maybe_rea on twitter

theatre nerd stuff

not quite theatre

tape recording

the athletic , athletic article requests

for reference

'pinned’ post

kanarene 4328 9852 3365 , < thats my pokemon go username and trainer code

critrole watching

tiktok

tagging this for filtering purposes:

pic crew

my spotify

lgbtqia+

palaeontology

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

players tribune

queer history

carl the iggy , the better aston reese , carl aston reese

shout out to @firefly-graphics for the page breaks/dividers

[transgamerthoughts]

Idle Thoughts On Games During Pandemic Times

I’m in an interesting position as I write this. Since I’ve written here I have moved out of journalism and towards the dev side of games. Good news! I’m happier! Bad news! It can feel weird to have public opinions.  That said, I miss writing and I’ve had some thoughts about games I’ve played (mostly major titles) that I want to share. I’m keeping them loose and I hope folks will allow me the indulgence. Here we are!

Ghost of Tsushima 

I’ve been surprised by how playable Ghost of Tsushima is. Which is to say that the world is very enjoyable to explore. There’s something about ambling between marker to marker, or stumbling upon a few hidden items, that fundamentally works. I’ve seen some folks imply that this is simply the result of overproduced open-world design philosophies. A sort of focus-tested gaming drug-world that it’s easy to slide into. There’s probably some truth to that, and there’s a discussion to be had about the dangers of pastoralism, but I think that the open-world itself is designed well. Sure, there’s collectables and outposts to conquer and all the things you would expect but those are not the appeal. In fact, in many cases, engaging with those things feels worse than wandering. In the early game particularly, combat is not enjoyable. But there’s a sensibility to the world, a sort of stubborn antiquatedness that calls back to an open-world structure—one where space existed for its own sake—that we don’t see in as many games now. That’s curious to me because Tsushima has been criticized for feeling old-fashioned but I think this approach to world design isn’t so far removed from Breath of the Wild. It is certain littered with more *stuff* that you can stumble on but despite the fact that I can set markers or unlock bonuses that make these things easier to find, I don’t feel an overwhelming push to engage with them.

That good because combat is a decidedly mixed affair. I’m not eager to slide into difficulty discussions but if Tsushima’s closest cousin is Assassin’s Creed, it’s no surprise that I’ve instantly found the game more playable at a lower difficulty setting. If the goal is to emulate film—and there can be discussion about how well that’s actually done; black and white filters don’t suffice to make something comparable to Kurosawa—then Tsushima’s normally cluttered and gamey combat rubs against that impulse. It’s a game with sub-weapons, ninja-like tools, multiple stances for breaking the guards of certain enemies, and a wealth of skill trees. The beauty of the action (which you can frame at the push of a button thanks to a respectable photo mode) can get lost in the shuffle.  Lowering the difficulty has led to speedier and more dramatic encounters where a few sword strokes can slay a handful of men. It’s a curious thing, as I tend to play games on higher difficulties, but this is one of the few times where I felt it might have served a game better to streamline combat down to the most basic of interactions. Tsushima’s combat can get very busy and I did not enjoy tackling challenges or outpost conquest until I progressed to unlock more abilities while also lowering the difficulty. Even then, those are the moments I care for the least.

I feel unable to comment on critical discussions about Tsushima’s story and politics but as an observer to the input of Japanese-American writers and Japanese devs/players, one thing that’s struck me is how the broader gamer culture has reacted to the dialogue. There have been moments where gamers have minimized the voices of some critics with the exultations of certain Japanese writers, which eliminates valid concerns from people who have every right to look close at a game connected to their heritage. The lens through which Tsushima was made was at the end of the day a Western one and that’s worth discussing. I am grateful for the writing of critics like Kazuma Hashimoto at Polygon that dig into these tensions.  I will say that I feel like Tsushima sometimes wants to do the proper thematic thing where it will say that entrenched nobility and cultural notions of honor can be inherently damaging but because that’s mostly expressed, at least in the main plot, as “the outside invaders are besting us because of our traditions” it falls flat. Tsushima works best in side quests where the stakes are smaller. It’s thematic aspirations are best when things are personal and on a more humble scale. I like the version of Tsushima I get to play in those moments more than I like the grand gestures towards honor or combat challenges. Which is to say I mostly want Way of the Samurai with multiple zones and a more connective tissue. Tsushima teases that possibility without ever really getting there. In those teasing moment, the game makes a lot more sense to me.

I’ve enjoyed myself and intend to finish soon. That enjoyment comes with a lingering question: what other game could this have been? It’s inspired an image in my mind of a different sort of open-world ronin game where there is a smatter of villages with sub-stories and perhaps the smallest A-plot. A game with Mongol invaders, dramatic family conflict, or shogunate decrees.  Tsushima has capture my attention but I do wonder more about what might have been that what is right in front of my eyes.

The Last of Us: Part II

I have struggled with this game in ways I did not know were possible. When I play it, I find myself taken in by the raw skill of the actors. There’s a mood and tone I enjoy, a somber twinge to the infected escapades that lingers from the first game. I like The Last of Us. I think there’s small moments of character interaction that express core things about the cast’s shifting relationships. James Howell embarked on a video essay series about this very thing and while it will remain unfinished perhaps forever, I suggest engaging with it. Suffice it to say, the changing language of Joel and Ellie’s mechanical interactions does a lot to underscore the narrative. I think players often think of the The Last of Us in terms of pure narrative but these smaller considerations reveal a game with a very natural approach to story telling. The Last of Us 2 has these moments and often hides them within combat. When multiple factions of humans and infected interact, their clash and the behavior of the AI tells something fundamental about the game world. 

The Last of Us: Part II is a cynical game with an unflattering view of humanity, a view that (in spite of Joel’s selfishness in the first game’s climax) feels somewhat at odds with what came before. It is, in fact, possibly the most cynical game I’ve ever played. That’s hard to talk about but it’s best expressed in the various dying barks of enemies or moments where the player is forced into violent, dehumanizing slaughter. In the former case, it feels like a magic trick. The first time you hear someone cry out their dog’s name, it can be tragic. The next five times you hear it, it feels forced. Like any trick, it’s never as powerful as the first time. You might argue that’s the point: that as you follow Ellie’s journey, the player also stripes enemies of their humanity and agency but the player’s culpability is secondary to the writer’s in some ways.

Players did not contrive to have Ellie rob Nora, one of the game’s major black characters, of her fundamental dignity before murdering her. Nor are players the ones who shove a knife into Mel’s pregnant stomach. Those are scenarios crafted by designers and writers, and much like how retroactively guilting the player for killing a doctor in the first game (An unavoidable action, mind you! Joel will do this regardless of what the player wants.) feels manipulative, calling a player’s culpability into question as Ellie fails to act like any sort of reasonable human being also rings hollow. There is a perpetual push and pull between players and controllable actors, best expressed in the verbs that we are allowed to perform. It is telling the more often than not, Ellie’s most egregious acts of violence happen outside of the player’s control. 

And yet there are moments where I buy deeply into the story. Notably, it happens when Abby is on screen more than Ellie. (Tangent: Abby has more interesting gameplay scenarios that lean closer to horror game vibes like what you’d find in The Evil Within. TLOU is way more interesting working in that mode than HUMAN vs. HUMAN drama.) Abby is also allowed more growth and agency than the script ever gives Ellie. At the core of this is Abby’s relationship with Lev. It is here that I’ve had my largest struggle with the game. 

Discussion about Lev has often bowled over transgender commentators.  For many people, Lev resonates regardless of anything the plot says about his gender. Lev captures people’s attention because Lev is eminently likable. That’s a testament to Naughty Dog’s writing. Still, there is a sense that Lev’s wider resonance has left some folks (particularly queer folks) without as much space to talk among themselves and hash out sentiments without the discussion getting overpowered. This is complicated by an environment where creators seem more empowered to directly speak to criticisms.

Which is to say that as a trans critic (perhaps ex-critic) watching from the sidelines, I was very hurt and dismayed to watch people who do not share in the transgender experience comment quickly about Lev. And while the discussions about Lev are varied—the trans community, like any community, is not a monolith—it’s sometimes felt like trans voices were made the quietest when talking about this character.

Many things are true about art at the same time. Lev can act, as is the case for some players, as a token figure whose struggles are appropriated and turned into spice adding flavor to the apocalypse.  Spice that allows us to be seen as we are usually seen: in pain and defined by that pain, and which displays that pain voyueristically for cis players. Lev can also be a kind-hearted and respectable hero, and ray of light within a dark story. Neither feeling is in competition. Some will find strength and inspiration in the character, others will see the machinations of corporate powers and award-chasing writers. Both can be true.

Enthusiastic fans and players are quick—not in a malicious sense; merely in their excitement—to defend the things they enjoy. If they found a thing good it stands to reason the thing must be good. They empathized and that is taken as proof that a thing is good irrespective of other concerns. This is a kind impulse but one that robs people of their concerns, or at the very least close off conversations quickly. I cannot properly diagnose this except to suggest that there’s a growing force of cultural positivism that’s encircled games of a certain scale. One which shuts down a lot of valuable engagement. The bigness of the moment, of the object, demands the moment be the Best Possible Moment For Games regardless of the qualities of the object itself. That’s worrisome to me.

The Last of Us: Part II has become nearly impossible to talk about even now because we are dealing with an object so large as to have a gravity that weighs everything down. A game with sublime moments that intoxicate deeply but one where voices of critique or caution are buried away largely because of the potency of that intoxication. I deeply wish that wasn’t the case because the breadth of discussions that might’ve happened would have been really valuable.

Aim Lab

I’ve gotten really into Valorant. It’s scratched an itch for a type of multiplayer shooter that I haven’t had scratched in a long time. My experience with the game itself has been good but the surrounding experience has been decidedly mixed. Suffice it to say I’m mostly living the solo-queue life and it’s a miserable existence even with the occasional highs. Yet, there’s a mechanical crunchiness to Valorant that deeply compels me and I’ve enough competitive drive that (in spite of the fact that the most of beloved social aspects of the game seem generally out of reach for me) I’ve really devoted myself to improving as player. Enter Aim Lab. It’s a totally free aim trainer that anyone can download off Steam. It has a variety of drills and exercises that can be used to improve a variety of first-person shooter skills. In one case, you might be flicking from target to target with the express goal of training your aiming speed. In another you might need to look at a group of colored balls, which will then disappear with one of them changed. You’ll then need to shoot at the different one as quickly as possible. You earn a score for each drill, which is tracked and compared to global records and folded into a ranking system. I’ve placed in the “Ruby” range for my rank, which is mostly in the middle of the road. (It’s a weird rank above gold but I think before Plat?) Mechanically sound with sloppy spots. I’m able to identify these thanks to Aim Labs. For instance, I know that I am fast and relatively accurate but that tracking moving targets is a difficulty for me. I know that I am quicker at things on the right side of my screen but also that I’m thankfully able to read changes in the environment quickly. This might sounds like a dry and rote way to approach video games but Aim Labs’ suite of repeatable and trackable challenges means that it is very easy to trace gradual improvements.

As a result, what might have been dull work becomes something akin to going to the gym. I can feel the ways in which my control over a mouse have changed. I understand which muscles need more flexing. Importantly, for all my weakness I also know strengths. Playing Aim Labs—and yes, this is play—becomes a semi-automatic and meditative experience like swinging at a batting cage. 

As a player (again, I hesitate to use the word critic anymore) who tends to engage with games on thematic levels even when it comes to mechanics, it’s been surprisingly gratifying. Part personal ritual, part labor. Bubblegum for the brain. Chew chew chew. Shoot shoot shoot. Take some notes and chew some more. Not much more to say except Aim Labs has surprised me with how enjoyable and relaxing it can be.

Necrobarista

Necrobarista was not what I expected. That’s because I started playing it with what felt like a safe-assumption: it would be comparable to some of my favorite indie “drink” games like Va-11 Hall-A or Coffee Talk. It’s hard for me to break down those games and how their structure—insightful conversations punctuated by drink-mixing and the occasional memory puzzle or story choice—works for me. I know folks who have played those games and bounced off for entirely understandable reasons but I love them. They call to mind some of the personal experience I had as both someone who worked at a bar and coffee shop. In spite of their fantasy settings, they evoke a highly specific and idiosyncratic part of my brain. Necrobarista doesn’t quite do that because it is strictly a visual novel. Repetitive work such as drink making is entirely absence. As a result, I initially found Necrobarista harder to engage with. It lacked the percussive but comfortable rhythm I was craving in quarantine. 

That highly specific preferential quirk/personal need might place the game lower on my list then the other two (the game’s certainly in conversation with them to a degree; it’s got plenty of shout-outs and references that make it clear the designers know the ballpark they’re playing in) but it doesn’t mean it is a “lesser” game in terms of the world it is presenting or the character you’re watching. Necrobarista has, if nothing else, some of the most naturally flowing dialog I’ve experienced in a while. That is partly because I’ve been sampling so much AAA stuff, where the writing tends to eschew the evocative for clean, crisp (and corporate!) staccato, but even in comparison to other VNs or drink games, it finds some more integrated and interesting ways to handle lore dumps. That’s helped by the core conceit. The lead character Maddy Xiāo runs a coffee shop alongside her wise former boss Chay that just so happens to serve drinks to the recent deceased. That makes it really easy to introduce a character, as the plot soon does, fresh off the mortal coil and eager to learn about life after death. It’s a common writer’s trick to place a clueless character in a plot so world-building can happen but because the stakes are high—the freshly-deceased have only 24 hours before they pass into the afterlife—there’s an urgency in the explanations that feels warranted. I could probably spend a lot of time breaking down the ways in which Necrobarista successful builds the world around the player. From a well-framed scenario and properly placed characters (an inquisitive child-genius, for instance) to the ability to click highlighted words for snarky but never crass footnotes, you never want for necessary knowledge but also never feel like your hand is being held. You’re not digging for meaning or piecing together arcane lore concepts. You know what you need to know, it feels fun to learn it, and the characters all make sense. They’re also incredibly likable. Necrobarista’s largest strength isn’t that the details are handled well; it’s that the core cast is deeply relatable. That’s important because the story moves from coffee to magic and death within a clipped 4 hour playtime. Relationships are clear, motivations clearer, and while some of the standout story-telling pieces are in optionally readable side-chapters, the main story lifted up by how eminently fun it is to eavesdrop of these character’s lives. The only glaring exception is a Greek chorus of robots that seem out of place and overly-chatty. Necrobarista sometimes feels eager to impress structurally, and that’s no more clearer than when these fellas are on screen. The difficult thing about Necrobarista’s literary approach is that the pandemic’s completely shot my attention span. It took my two weeks of on and off play to finish what is a very short game. That said, given the enormity of some world events I found it edifying and cathartic to engage with a piece of media explicitly concerned with death and dying. It wasn’t what I thought and I kinda wish it had a bit more happening mechanically but I’m really happy for the time I spent with this one.

Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers

Shadowbringers and Final Fantasy XIV in general is a difficult thing talk about. Not because of the accumulated history of a long-running game and storyline but because my feelings are ultimately swayed by a host of personal and specific emotions. I am a social player on a social server. I’ve spent just as much time coming up with roleplaying plotline and casually taking in taverns as I have tackling difficult bosses. I have made dear friends through FFXIV and even more than that. Those relationships, their energy and gravity, mixed into everything like an errand paint drop. You can hardly see it in the mixture but it’s unavoidably there. For many, this is a game of heroes and anime plots. For me, it has been a doorway to some of the most fruitful, edifying, and occasional painful experiences of my life.  I say this because I want it understood that in spite of this sentiment, Final Fantasy XIV is a good game and Shadowbringers is easily one of the most confident pieces of video-game storytelling that I’ve ever experienced. Which isn’t to say it’s not sometimes trite or predictable. It’s not to suggest there is something groundbreaking here. For all of the craftsmanship, Shadowbringers often succeeds by embracing the conventional. It sticks to more well-worn plot structures, it simplified job gameplay and streamlined a variety of features whose strange and un-sanded bumps brought charm to the game. Yet, in the streamlining comes something more refined. Like running a soup through a fine mesh sieve to create something creamier and more rich. When you look at Shadowbringers high level plot: travel to the corners of the world to fight monsters, all while unraveling cosmic secrets.. it’s familiar. Even as the patches following the launch experience did, as all FFXIV patches do, focus on the fallout of the main story’s event, it kept to a strict content release pattern. If you’re digging for a revolutionary experience, Shadowbringers cannot offer it by virtue of structure. But what has been releases is foundational. The writing is of such quality and battle scenarios increasingly playful that everyone should be taking notes. A core component of Shadowbringers success is how deeply the story is concerned with genuinely exploring the richness of the scenario. It would be easy to craft a story about evil mages destroying the world. FFXIV’s done the more straightforward version of that at launch and it proved stiff. Instead, Shadowbringers’ has a deep concern with motivations and takes unprecedented time to explore the interior of the cast. This allows old characters to grow into bright new versions of themselves, and it has (two for two now!) turned villains into more than just monsters. The writing exhibits a delicious empathy for the world, and it takes time to give everyone a perspective. In MMOs, this is not always afforded. Characters act as quest-barkers and clumsy plot chess pieces. Shadowbringers strength rests in avoiding this in favor of clear stakes both personal and cosmic.  There’s plenty to be said for other aspects. Masayoshi Soken’s music remains an incredibly powerful trump card, and the latest patch (which concludes the Shadowbringers story and sets up for next expansion) shows an increased willingness to employ fight mechanics that trick and test players in new ways. The content is challenging and full of tiny subversive moments that actually rob players of power they’ve taken for granted over the course of hundreds of hours. In finding its stride, Final Fantasy XIV doesn’t just craft sweeping narrative moments, it better integrates those stakes into individual boss encounters. There’s a cohesiveness, an interlocking of parts where each piece (music, narrative, gameplay, et all) are in clear conversation with the other and often in conversation with not only other expansions but other games within the franchise. 

Recently, a piece dropped on Polygon with the title “Games need to return to black-and-white morality.” It was, if I can be honest, a poor title for the article and one which left a freelancer unduly exposed to harsh feedback. But there is a core kernel to the article. To quote the writer: “Watching our heroes stick to their convictions, even against insurmountable odds, ratchets up drama, rather than destroying it. The concept that good can ultimately triumph over evil is a timeless one, and stories that rally around this trope — around unadulterated hope — can help guide us through the year’s ceaseless onslaught of calamities.“ Shadowbringers’s conclusion brought this piece of writing to mind. I’m ironing pretty much all of that piece’s argumentation but the notion that games about heroes have great efficacy in times of uncertainty shouldn’t be a controversial one. The crux of my favorite game, Skies of Arcadia, is that heroism is hardly a choice at all. It is a compulsion, it is a duty that we all must accept when the moment comes. Shadowbringers is not quite as simple but it is ultimately a story about hero defeating the baddies, and I would be lying deeply to say that there wasn’t something incredibly, nearly word-defyingly beautiful about the feeling of hope I felt in its concluding moments. The sweeping power of epic fantasy and heroism holds true and, like a genuine panacea, held a curative power for my soul that was not just enjoyable once consumed but frankly necessary for my well-being.  I’ve no clean conclusion here (and I don’t have to! ha!) other than to say that Shadowbringers has consistently proven a delight in a sea of rocky games media. It is affirming, exciting, and empathetic in ways that I was not expecting. That, along with the friendships I’ve made while playing, have secured its place as one of my favorite video game experiences ever. From start to finish, it really was a delight. 

------------------ And that’s that! I was gonna write about Blaseball but I need to let my Blaseball feelings settle before even trying that. Anyway, if you read this.. uh thanks!

[fireflake-art]

Hello do you want to see a handful of picrews I made of my top seven ocs

No? Fuck you here they are

Sinopa "Vixen" Ashley Arianna-Byrne

She/her. Cisgender polyamorous lesbian. 14 - 20 (story takes place a year at a time for six years) y/o born on March's first Tuesday, Aries (or, according to the correct zodiac dates, a Pisces). Extrovert. Freckled caucasian of Irish and Spanish descent. Atheist. Mystic; fire nymph (first half-human nymph in existence, only alive because her birth was charged with pure life magic, thus her lifeblood is magic). Raised in Medusa, Texas. Daughter of now deceased Lily Arianna-Byrne and absent Dick Oak, younger maternal half-sister of Siobhan. Childhood best friends turned queerplatonic partners with Noah and Ben, romantic partners with Rikki and Solstice, eventual sexual partner of Divina, best friend to Collin and Rowan. Has vitiligo (condition where patches of skin turn white), autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia (dyslexia but for numbers), anhidrosis (the inability to sweat) and severe acne. Dancer, singer, rapper, writer, eventual advisor, Knight and ambassador of the Monster Queen and soldier in the Mystic War For Humanity, plus a Mystic bar-owner. Loud, proud, extremely energetic, ignorant, sassy, wisecracking, blunt, stubborn, anger issues, no filter or impulse control, hard on herself, provides unconditional love to everyone around her except abusers, mostly liars. Abilities include pyrokinesis (to create, control and manipulate fire), regeneration (accelerated healing), empathy regarding love, sensing life, reading verbal lies. Fun fact; kisses people on the cheek as a greeting like they do in Argentina due to Lily being raised there.

Noah William Nico-Somni

He/him. Transgender polyamorous asexual demi-gray-homoromantic. 14 - 20 y/o born on July 11th; Cancer. Introvert. Pale caucasian, skin is extremely sensitive. Jewish. Mystic; human turned ghost (death by self-inflicted cuts. Ghosts are very different from spirits; spirits showcase personality/identity in their form and don't have to be a dead human, ghosts are aging astral projections of a dead human's body) turned poltergeist (a chaotic ghost-spirit hybrid). Raised in Medusa, Texas. Birth son of deceased Abigail Nico and deceased Michael Somni, younger brother to deceased Bradley Nico-Somni, adoptive son of Chantarelle and Tim Smat. Very early ex-childhood friends with Rikki turned queerplatonic partners, childhood best friends turned qpps with Vixen, romantic partners with Ben, best friends with Divina and Solstice, small crush on Collin. Has Emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting), social anxiety, selective mutism, panic attacks and depression. Dancer, poet, singer, eventual student of the Spirit Realm and ambassador for the Ghost Queen, solider in the Mystic War For Humanity. Quiet, moody, grumpy, sarcastic, self-deprecating, sympathetic, fighter, minor case of OCD, wants to help. Abilities include astral projection (body is a corporeal hologram based off a ghost's human form, also can flick off the tangibility of their body), telekinesis (to levitate and control objects; only poltergeists have this), possession of a living host (poltergeist-specific), not sustaining injuries internally (having physical injuries has no actual effect beyond appearance). Fun fact; will calm down from an episode by a person singing the famous "One Bright Day" contradictory poem.

Ben Asher D'Hara

He/him. Cisgender polyamorous bisexual. 14 -20 y/o born on February 26th, Pisces. Ambivert. Tan Latinx. Wiccan. Mystic; Human; born Seer. Raised in Medusa, Texas. Son of deceased Alexander D'Hara and alcoholic Robin Master, younger brother of Rowan D'Hara. Childhood best friends and now queerplatonic partners with Vixen and Rikki, romantic partners with Noah, sexual partners with Solstice, crush on qpp Divina. Has Axenfeld-Rieger Syndrome (type 3 and with the giant pupils, wears contact glasses in combat and sunglasses to formal events), severe anxiety and anger issues. Fashionesta, cosmetologist, eventual royal advisor to the Mystic United Kingdom and soldier in the Mystic War For Humanity. Shy, meek, quiet, repressive, obedient, kind, sweet, a proud self-proclaimed cross-dresser, never wants anything to change, silently believes he is undeserving of love and a burden to those around him. Abilities include future sight (emotionally-triggered premonitions), seeing "beyond the veil" (his human brain doesn't actively work to deceive him into not seeing the supernatural as they are like in most average humans), changing some minor future events by intervening in present time, minor empathy and telepathy. Fun fact; most of his clothing was bought as an expensive gift from Rikki.

Rikki Penelope Femm

She/her. Intersex polyamorous bisexual. 14 - 20 y/o born on September 10th, Libra. Ambivert. Mixed; Nigerian maternally, Cuban paternally. Devote Catholic. Mystic; Cambion; Cubus. Raised in Medusa, Texas. Daughter of Theodore Femm and formerly absent Sultana Mariscus. Very early ex-childhood friends with Noah turned queerplatonic partner, fast friends with Ben turned qpp, romantic partners with Vixen and Collin, sexual partners with Divina and Solstice. Has heterochromia, ADHD, social awkwardness, hypersexuality, sensitive hearing, a bit of a superiority complex, and an inferiority complex due to that superiority complex. Writer, fashion designer, fashionesta, makeup artist, child model, bioengineer, scientist. Kind-hearted, stubborn, sarcastic, judgemental, repressive, lonely, file your emotions away type, explosive, ball of resentment, feels guilty of that resentment basically all the time, has a tendency to attempt to buy friendship through showering people with gifts and/or expensive attire, tricky relationship with her self-worth. Abilities include flight (painfully retractable bat-like wings, also has a similar tail), weak hypnotism, lust generation, superhearing (thanks to unretractable horns), enslaving kiss, dreamwalking (must be magically-charged by a client), slight empathy. Fun fact; believes her father can do no wrong.

Dixie and Vienna Divina Eliana Aure

She/Her. Polyamorous queer. 16 - 21 y/o (met in the second year) born on June 22nd; Gemini-Cancer cusp. Introvert. Mixed; Persian maternally, African paternally. Zoroastrianist. Mystic; Cambion; Gemini (has the ability to split herself into two, her counterparts go by Dixie and Vienna; they're sort of like if you could separate your left brain and right brain). Born in Ohio, raised from age 10 in New York City. Daughter of deceased Esther Aure and absent [REDACTED]. Romantic partners with Collin and Solstice, sexual partners with Vixen and Rikki, qpp with Ben. Close friends with Noah. Has Antisocial Personality Disorder and a hearing disability (ears were severely damaged as a child, now wears hearing aids). Professional hacker, con-woman, paid muscle, boxer, eventual Knight of the Monster Queen, ambassador to the Faerie Queen, soldier in the Mystic War For Humanity. Manipluative, self-loathing, deceitful, two-faced, sassy, grumpy, quiet, moody, bold, otherwise confident. Abilities include Aerokinesis (to manipulate and control air). Fun fact; has a pet horse.

Collin Zachariah Riot

He/him. Transgender polyamorous het. 14 - 19 (met in the second book) y/o born on August 5th, Leo. Ambivert. Italian. Christian. Mystic; Human; cursed Shapeshifter. Born in Italy, ranaway at age 13 to New York City. Son of Mr. And Mrs. Riot, younger brother of Jamie Riot. Romantic partners with Divina, Solstice and Rikki. Crush on Vixen. Best friends with Noah, Ben and Rowan. Has ADHD. Collin's just an awkward trans kid that was appearantly fostered by abusive demons that the gang saved him from. Gamer, nerd, artist, game designer, hacker, eventual knight of the Monster Queen and soldier in the Mystic War For Humanity. Resourceful, fanboy, flirty (the "make a sex joke and erupt in nervous laughter out of embarrassment" type of flirt), curious, brave, somewhat timid, shamelessly uses geek speak and slang, definitely has fanart pinned on his walls. Abilities include shapeshifting. Fun fact; wanted to be a superhero as a kid.

Solstice Eden

Vaey/Vem, Fae/Faerie, She/Her. Non-binary, intersex polyamorous queer. 19 - 20 (met in the 5th) y/o born during an equinox on the spring solstice. Extrovert. Race; N/A. Religion; a hybrid of Pagan, Polytheism, Wiccan, Shamanism, Taosim, Buddhism and Hinduism called "the Faerie Faith" (incorrectly spelled the "Fairy Faith" by humankind). Mystic; Fae; Faerie; Queen. Raised in the Faerie Realm (a dimension on Earth unseen by non-Fae). Family; N/A (was bred scientifically to harness all biological traits/powers of every Fae and Faerie species). Romantic partners with Divina and Collin, sexual partners with Vixen, Rikki and Ben, crush on Noah. Queen of the Fae/Faerie Queen, soldier in the Mystic War For Humanity. Down to earth, flirtatious (the subtle and smooth type), excitable, fun-loving, responsible, kind, chill, affectionate, bold, brave, blunt. Abilities include Chlorokinesis (the ability to create, control and manipulate plant life), accelerated healing, super speed, talking to wild life, mild shapeshifting, mind control. Fun fact; was abused by her childhood caretaker.

[banjotheturtle]

What your favourite style savvy / new fashion boutique brand says about you!

April Bonbon- You may not dress in decora kei in real life but you sure wish you could.

Marble Lily- If you played the game as a child it introduced you into lolita, if you played as an adult then this brand is the reason you bought the game in the first place.

AZ•USA- You are loving that you dress in gyaru in the game or you’re just American.

Capsule / Retrobeat- You think retrobeat is underrated and you really like characters from shows with 1min screen time.

Marzipan Sky- You’re queer, I don’t make the rules.

Sonata / Chorale- You fully believe that Evie is your fairy godmother.

Pure Cloth / Basic U- You don’t exist.

Terra / Soy- You were really happy when maxi skirts came back into fashion 2 years ago.

Pen / Brook Bridge- You didn’t go to a school with a uniform.

Alvarado / Edin Chen- You were sad when you found out that Angélique doesn’t actually like chic fashion despite wearing it so you are a hard core Lola stan.

Kanokoi- You say this is your favourite brand but really you only wear the kimonos and yukatas from it.

Mad Jack / Stage Dive- You had a scene kid or emo phase and would always put the arm warmers on your character.

GXS / Street Flow- You always pair your outfits with April Bonbon clothes but refuse to say that AB is your fav.

Raven Candle- We know. YOU LIKE MARIA WE GET IT!

Masquerade / Purple Moon- You’re still upset that there is only one fifth of the amount of clothes in PM compared to every other brand also you like anime.

Any of the male brands- You don’t really like these, you’re just upset you can’t play as a dude.

(Note: not all brands are on the list either because they don’t appear in enough of the games and are not transferable or they are bag brands)

… so which one are you?

[makistar2018]

Taylor Swift on Sexism, Scrutiny, and Standing Up for Herself

AUGUST 8, 2019 By ABBY AGUIRRE Photographed by INEZ AND VINOODH

Cover Look Taylor Swift wears a Louis Vuitton jumpsuit. Rings by Cartier and Bvlgari. To get this look, try: Dream Urban Cover in Classic Ivory, Fit Me Blush in Pink, Tattoostudio Sharpenable Gel Pencil Longwear Eyeliner Makeup in Deep Onyx, The Colossal Mascara, Brow Ultra Slim in Blonde, and Shine Compulsion by Color Sensational Lipstick in Undressed Pink. All by Maybelline New York. Hair, Christiaan; makeup, Fulvia Farolfi. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman

Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

IT’S A SUNDAY AFTERNOON in Tribeca, and I’m in Taylor Swift’s loft, inside a former printing house that she has restored and fortified into a sanctuary of brick, velvet, and mahogany. The space is warm and cozy and vaguely literary—later, when we pass through her bedroom en route to her garden, 10 percent of my brain will believe her wardrobe might open up to Narnia. Barefoot in a wine-colored floral top and matching flowy pants, Swift is typing passwords into a laptop to show me the video for “You Need to Calm Down,” eight days before she unleashes it on the world.

I have a sliver of an idea what to expect. A few weeks earlier, I spent a day at the video shoot, in a dusty field-slash-junkyard north of Los Angeles. Swift had made it a sort of Big Gay Candy Mountain trailer park, a Technicolor happy place. The cast and crew wore heart-shaped sunglasses—living, breathing lovey-eyes emoji—and a mailbox warned, LOVE LETTERS ONLY.

Swift and a stream of costars filmed six scenes over about a dozen hours. The singer-songwriter Hayley Kiyoko, known to her fans as “Lesbian Jesus,” shot arrows at a bull’s-eye. The YouTube comedian-chef Hannah Hart danced alongside Dexter Mayfield, the plus-size male model and self-described “big boy in heels.” The Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon served up icy red snow cones. Swift and her close friend Todrick Hall, of Kinky Boots and RuPaul’s Drag Race, sipped tea with the cast of Queer Eye.

Speak Now “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” Swift says. Celine coat. Dior shoes. Fashion Editor: Tonne Goodman. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

The mood was joyous and laid-back. But by the end of the day, I wasn’t sure what the vignettes would add up to. There were shoot days and cameos I wouldn’t observe. For security reasons, the song was never played aloud. (The cast wore ear buds.) Even the hero shot, in which Swift and Hall sauntered arm in arm through the dreamscape at golden hour, was filmed in near-total silence.

For weeks afterward, I tried to sleuth out a theory. I started casually. There was a “5” on the bull’s-eye, so I did a quick search to figure out what that number might mean. Immediately I was in over my head.

Swift has a thing for symbols. I knew she had been embedding secret messages in liner notes and deploying metaphors as refrains since her self-titled debut in 2006—long before her megafame made her into a symbol of pop supremacy. But I hadn’t understood how coded and byzantine her body of work has become; I hadn’t learned, as Swift’s fans have, to see hidden meanings everywhere. For instance: In the 2017 video for “Look What You Made Me Do,” a headstone in a graveyard scene reads NILS SJOBERG, the pseudonym Swift used as her writing credit on Rihanna’s hit “This Is What You Came For,” a Swedish-sounding nod to that country’s pop wizards.

After an excessive amount of ad hoc scholarship—a friend joked that I could have learned Mandarin in the time I spent trying to unpack Swift’s oeuvre—I was no closer to a theory. Pop music has become so layered and meta, but the Taylor Swift Universe stands apart. Apprehending it is like grasping quantum physics.

My first indication of what her new album, Lover, would be about came just after midnight on June 1, the beginning of Pride Month, when Swift introduced a petition in support of the federal Equality Act. This legislation would amend the Civil Rights Act to outlaw discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. (It has passed the House, but prospects in Mitch McConnell’s Senate are unclear.) Swift also posted a letter to Senator Lamar Alexander, Republican of Tennessee, asking him to vote yes. The request, on her personal letterhead (born in 1989. LOVES CATS.), denounced President Trump for not supporting the Equality Act. “I personally reject the president’s stance,” Swift wrote.

Back in the kitchen, Swift hits play. “The first verse is about trolls and cancel culture,” she says. “The second verse is about homophobes and the people picketing outside our concerts. The third verse is about successful women being pitted against each other.”

The video is, for erudite Swifties, a rich text. I had followed enough clues to correctly guess some of the other cameos—Ellen DeGeneres, RuPaul, Katy Perry. I felt the satisfaction of a gamer who successfully levels up—achievement unlocked!The video’s final frame sends viewers to Swift’s change.org petition in support of the Equality Act, which has acquired more than 400,000 signatures—including those of Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Beto O’Rourke, and Kirsten Gillibrand—or four times the number required to elicit an official response from the White House.

“MAYBE A YEAR OR TWO AGO, Todrick and I are in the car, and he asked me, What would you do if your son was gay?”

We are upstairs in Swift’s secret garden, comfortably ensconced in a human-scale basket that is sort of shaped like a cocoon. Swift has brought up an ornate charcuterie board and is happily slathering triple-cream Brie onto sea-salt crackers. “The fact that he had to ask me . . . shocked me and made me realize that I had not made my position clear enough or loud enough,” she says. “If my son was gay, he’d be gay. I don’t understand the question.”

I have pressed Swift on this topic, and her answers have been direct, not performative or scripted. I do sense that she enjoys talking to me about as much as she’d enjoy a root canal—but she’s unfailingly polite, and when we turn to music, her face will light up and she will add little melodic phrases to her speech, clearly her preferred language.

Balancing Act Later this year, Swift will appear in the film adaptation of Cats—as the flirtatious Bombalurina. Givenchy dress. Bracelets by John Hardy, David Yurman, and Hoorsenbuhs. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

“If he was thinking that, I can’t imagine what my fans in the LGBTQ community might be thinking,” she goes on. “It was kind of devastating to realize that I hadn’t been publicly clear about that.”

I understand why she was surprised; she has been sending pro-LGBTQ signals since at least 2011. Many have been subtle, but none insignificant—especially for a young country star coming out of Nashville.

In the video for her single “Mean” (from 2010’s Speak Now), we see a boy in a school locker room wearing a lavender sweater and bow tie, surrounded by football players. In “Welcome to New York,” the first track on 1989, she sings, “And you can want who you want. Boys and boys and girls and girls.” Two years later, she donated to a fund for the newly created Stonewall National Monument and presented Ruby Rose with a GLAAD Media Award. Every night of last year’s Reputation tour, she dedicated the song “Dress” to Loie Fuller, the openly gay pioneer of modern dance and theatrical lighting who captured the imagination of fin-de-siècle Paris.

Swift, who has been criticized for keeping her politics to herself, first took an explicit stance a month before the 2018 midterms. On Instagram, she endorsed Democrats for the Tennessee Legislature and called out the Republican running for Senate, Marsha Blackburn. “She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples,” Swift wrote. “She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values.”

Swift says the post was partly to help young fans understand that if they wanted to vote, they had to register. To tell them, as she puts it, “Hey, just so you know, you can’t just roll up.” Some 65,000 new voters registered in the first 24 hours after her post, according to Vote.org.

Trump came to Blackburn’s defense the following day. “She’s a tremendous woman,” he told reporters. “I’m sure Taylor Swift doesn’t know anything about her. Let’s say I like Taylor’s music about 25 percent less now, OK?”

In April, spurred by a raft of anti-LGBTQ bills in Tennessee, Swift donated $113,000 to the Tennessee Equality Project, which advocates for LGBTQ rights. “Horrendous,” she says of the legislation. “They don’t call it ‘Slate of Hate’ for nothing.” Swift especially liked that the Tennessee Equality Project had organized a petition of faith leaders in opposition. “I loved how smart it was to come at it from a religious perspective.”

Meanwhile, the “Calm Down” video provoked a Colorado pastor to call Swift “a sinner in desperate need of a savior” and warn that “God will cut her down.” It also revived heated debate within LGBTQ communities about the politics of allyship and corporatization of Pride. Some critics argued Swift’s pro-LGBTQ imagery and lyrics were overdue and out of the blue—a reaction the new Swift scholar in me found bewildering. Had they not been paying attention?

Nor did it strike me as out of character for Swift to leverage her power for a cause. She pulled her catalog from Spotify in 2014 over questions of artist compensation. She stared down Apple in 2015, when the company said it would not pay artists during the launch of its music service. (Apple reversed itself immediately.) As a condition of her record deal with Universal Music Group last year, the company promised that it would distribute proceeds from any sale of its Spotify shares to all of its artists. And this summer, Swift furiously called out Scott Borchetta, founder of Big Machine Label Group, for selling her master recordings to the music manager Scooter Braun. (When I ask Swift if she tried to get her masters from Big Machine, her whole body slumps with a palpable heaviness. “It was either investing in my past or my and other artists’ future, and I chose the future,” she says of the deal she struck with Universal.)

Swift’s blunt testimony during her 2017 sexual-assault case against a radio DJ—months before the #MeToo reckoning blew open—felt deeply political to me and, I imagine, many other women. Swift accused the DJ, David Mueller, of groping her under her skirt at a photo session in 2013. Her camp reported the incident to his employer, who fired him. Mueller denied the allegation, sued Swift for $3 million, and his case was thrown out. Swift countersued for a symbolic $1 and won.

Watch Taylor Swift Take Over Go Ask Anna:

In a Colorado courtroom, Swift described the incident: “He stayed latched onto my bare ass cheek” as photos were being snapped. Asked why photos of the front of her skirt didn’t show this, she said, “Because my ass is located at the back of my body.” Asked if she felt bad about the DJ’s losing his job, she said, “I’m not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I’m being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine.”

When Time included Swift on the cover of its “Silence Breakers” issue that year, the magazine asked how she felt during the testimony. “I was angry,” she said. “In that moment, I decided to forgo any courtroom formalities and just answer the questions the way it happened...I’m told it was the most amount of times the word ass has ever been said in Colorado Federal Court.”

Mueller has since paid Swift the dollar—with a Sacagawea coin. “He was trolling me, implying that I was self-righteous and hell-bent on angry, vengeful feminism. That’s what I’m inferring from him giving me a Sacagawea coin,” Swift says. “Hey, maybe he was trying to do it in honor of a powerful Native American woman. I didn’t ask.” Where is the coin now? “My lawyer has it.”

I ask her, why get louder about LGBTQ rights now? “Rights are being stripped from basically everyone who isn’t a straight white cisgender male,” she says. “I didn’t realize until recently that I could advocate for a community that I’m not a part of. It’s hard to know how to do that without being so fearful of making a mistake that you just freeze. Because my mistakes are very loud. When I make a mistake, it echoes through the canyons of the world. It’s clickbait, and it’s a part of my life story, and it’s a part of my career arc.”

I’d argue that no heterosexual woman can listen to “You Need to Calm Down” and hear only a gay anthem. “Calm down” is what controlling men tell women who are angry, contrary, or “hysterical,” or, let’s say, fearing for their physical safety. It is what Panic! at the Disco singer Brendon Urie says to Swift in the beginning of the “ME!” music video, prompting her to scream, “Je suis calme!”

I cannot believe it is a coincidence that Swift, a numbers geek with an affinity for dates, dropped the single—whose slow, incessant bass is likely to be bumping in stadiums across the world in 2020 if she goes on tour—on June 14, a certain president’s birthday.

IT'S ENLIGHTENING to read 13 years of Taylor Swift coverage—all the big reviews, all the big profiles—in one sitting. You notice things.

How quickly Swift went from a “prodigy” (The New Yorker) and a “songwriting savant” (Rolling Stone) to a tabloid fixture, for instance. Or how suspect her ambition is made to seem once she acquires real power.

Other plot points simply look different in the light of #MeToo. It is hard to imagine that Swift’s songs about her exes would be reviewed as sensationally today. I wonder if, in 2019, any man would dare grab the microphone out of a young woman’s hands at an awards show. I stared into space for a good long while when I was reminded that Pitchfork did not review Taylor Swift’s 1989 but did review Ryan Adams’s cover album of Taylor Swift’s 1989.

I ask Swift if she had always been aware of sexism. “I think about this a lot,” she says. “When I was a teenager, I would hear people talk about sexism in the music industry, and I’d be like, I don’t see it. I don’t understand. Then I realized that was because I was a kid. Men in the industry saw me as a kid. I was a lanky, scrawny, overexcited young girl who reminded them more of their little niece or their daughter than a successful woman in business or a colleague. The second I became a woman, in people’s perception, was when I started seeing it.

“It’s fine to infantilize a girl’s success and say, How cute that she’s having some hit songs,” she goes on. “How cute that she’s writing songs. But the second it becomes formidable? As soon as I started playing stadiums—when I started to look like a woman—that wasn’t as cool anymore. It was when I started to have songs from Red come out and cross over, like ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.’ ”

Those songs are also more assertive than the ones that came before, I say. “Yeah, the angle was different when I started saying, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Basically, you emotionally manipulated me and I didn’t love it. That wasn’t fun for me.”

I have to wonder if having her songwriting overlooked as her hits were picked apart and scrutinized wasn’t the biggest bummer of all. Swift: “I wanted to say to people, You realize writing songs is an art and a craft and not, like, an easy thing to do? Or to do well? People would act like it was a weapon I was using. Like a cheap dirty trick. Be careful, bro, she’ll write a song about you. Don’t stand near her. First of all, that’s not how it works. Second of all, find me a time when they say that about a male artist: Be careful, girl, he’ll use his experience with you to get—God forbid—inspiration to make art.”

Without question the tenor of the Taylor Swift Narrative changed most dramatically in July 2016, when Kim Kardashian West called her a “snake” on Twitter, and released video clips of Swift and Kanye West discussing the lyrics to his song “Famous.” (No need to rehash the details here. Suffice it to say that Swift’s version of events hasn’t changed: She knew about some of the lyrics but not others; specifically, the words that bitch.) The posts sparked several hashtags, including #TaylorSwiftIsASnake and #TaylorSwiftIsCanceled, which quickly escalated into a months-long campaign to “cancel” Swift.

To this day Swift doesn’t think people grasp the repercussions of that term. “A mass public shaming, with millions of people saying you are quote-unquote canceled, is a very isolating experience,” she says. “I don’t think there are that many people who can actually understand what it’s like to have millions of people hate you very loudly.” She adds: “When you say someone is canceled, it’s not a TV show. It’s a human being. You’re sending mass amounts of messaging to this person to either shut up, disappear, or it could also be perceived as, Kill yourself.”

An overhaul was in order. “I realized I needed to restructure my life because it felt completely out of control,” Swift says. “I knew immediately I needed to make music about it because I knew it was the only way I could survive it. It was the only way I could preserve my mental health and also tell the story of what it’s like to go through something so humiliating.”

State of Grace Dior bodysuit and skirt. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I get a sense of the whiplash Swift experienced when I notice that, a few months into this ordeal, while she was writing the songs that would become her album Reputation—and fighting off Mueller’s lawsuit—a portion of the media and internet began demanding to know why she hadn’t un-canceled herself long enough to take a position in the presidential election.

On that: “Unfortunately in the 2016 election you had a political opponent who was weaponizing the idea of the celebrity endorsement. He was going around saying, I’m a man of the people. I’m for you. I care about you. I just knew I wasn’t going to help. Also, you know, the summer before that election, all people were saying was She’s calculated. She’s manipulative. She’s not what she seems. She’s a snake. She’s a liar. These are the same exact insults people were hurling at Hillary. Would I be an endorsement or would I be a liability? Look, snakes of a feather flock together. Look, the two lying women. The two nasty women. Literally millions of people were telling me to disappear. So I disappeared. In many senses.”

Swift previewed Reputation in August 2017 with “Look What You Made Me Do.” The single came with a lyric video whose central image was an ouroboros—a snake swallowing its own tail, an ancient symbol for continual renewal. Swift wiped her social-media feeds clean and began posting video snippets of a slithering snake. The song was pure bombast and high camp. (Lest there be any doubt, the chorus was an interpolation of a ’90s camp classic, Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.”) Nonetheless, most critics read it as a grenade lobbed in the general direction of Calabasas.

One longtime Nashville critic, Brian Mansfield, had a more plausible take: She was writing sarcastically as the “Taylor Swift” portrayed in the media in a bid for privacy. “Yeah, this is the character you created for me, let me just hide behind it,” she says now of the persona she created. “I always used this metaphor when I was younger. I’d say that with every reinvention, I never wanted to tear down my house. ’Cause I built this house. This house being, metaphorically, my body of work, my songwriting, my music, my catalog, my library. I just wanted to redecorate. I think a lot of people, with Reputation, would have perceived that I had torn down the house. Actually, I just built a bunker around it.”

IN MARCH, the snakes started to morph into butterflies, the vampire color palette into Easter pastels. When a superbloom of wildflowers lured a mesmerizing deluge of Painted Lady butterflies to Los Angeles, Swift marked it with an Instagram post. She attended the iHeartRadio Music Awards that night in a sequin romper and stilettos with shimmery wings attached.

Swift announced the single “ME!” a month later, with a large butterfly mural in Nashville. In the music video for the (conspicuously) bubblegum song, a hissing pastel-pink snake explodes into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. One flutters by the window of an apartment, where Swift is arguing in French with Urie. A record player is playing in the background. “It’s an old-timey, 1940s-sounding instrumental version of ‘You Need to Calm Down,’ ’’ Swift says. Later, in the “Calm Down” video, Swift wears a (fake) back tattoo of a snake swarmed by butterflies.

We are only two songs in, people. Lover, to be released on August 23, will have a total of 18 songs. “I was compiling ideas for a very long time,” Swift says. “When I started writing, I couldn’t stop.” (We can assume the British actor Joe Alwyn, with whom Swift has been in a relationship for nearly three years, provided some of the inspiration.)

Swift thinks Lover might be her favorite album yet. “There are so many ways in which this album feels like a new beginning,” she says. “This album is really a love letter to love, in all of its maddening, passionate, exciting, enchanting, horrific, tragic, wonderful glory.”

In Focus Swift’s new 18-track album, Lover, will be released August 23. Hermès shirt. Chanel pants. Maximum Henry belt. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

I have to ask Swift, given how genuinely at peace she seems, if part of her isn’t thankful, if not for the Great Cancellation of 2016, then for the person she now is—knowing who her friends are, knowing what’s what. “When you’re going through loss or embarrassment or shame, it’s a grieving process with so many micro emotions in a day. One of the reasons why I didn’t do interviews for Reputationwas that I couldn’t figure out how I felt hour to hour. Sometimes I felt like: All these things taught me something that I never could have learned in a way that didn’t hurt as much. Five minutes later, I’d feel like: That was horrible. Why did that have to happen? What am I supposed to take from this other than mass amounts of humiliation? And then five minutes later I’d think: I think I might be happier than I’ve ever been.”

She goes on: “It’s so strange trying to be self-aware when you’ve been cast as this always smiling, always happy ‘America’s sweetheart’ thing, and then having that taken away and realizing that it’s actually a great thing that it was taken away, because that’s extremely limiting.” Swift leans back in the cocoon and smiles: “We’re not going to go straight to gratitude with it. Ever. But we’re going to find positive aspects to it. We’re never going to write a thank-you note.”

Though people will take the Perry-Swift burger-and-fries embrace in the “You Need to Calm Down” video as a press release that the two have mended fences, Swift says it’s actually a comment on how the media pits female pop stars against one another. After Perry sent Swift an (actual) olive branch last year, Swift asked her to be in the video: “She wrote back, This makes me so emotional. I’m so up for this. I want us to be that example. But let’s spend some time together. Because I want it to be real. So she came over and we talked for hours.

“We decided the metaphor for what happens in the media,” Swift explains, “is they pick two people and it’s like they’re pouring gasoline all over the floor. All that needs to happen is one false move, one false word, one misunderstanding, and a match is lit and dropped. That’s what happened with us. It was: Who’s better? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? Katy or Taylor? The tension is so high that it becomes impossible for you to not think that the other person has something against you."

Meanwhile, the protesters in the video reference a real-life religious group that pickets outside Swift’s concerts, not the white working class in general, as some have assumed. “So many artists have them at their shows, and it’s such a confounding, confusing, infuriating thing to have outside of joyful concerts,” she tells me. “Obviously I don’t want to mention the actual entity, because they would get excited about that. Giving them press is not on my list of priorities.”

At one point, Swift asks if I would like to hear two other songs off the new album. (Duh.) First she plays “Lover,” the title track, coproduced by Jack Antonoff. “This has one of my favorite bridges,” she says. “I love a bridge, and I was really able to go to Bridge City.” It’s a romantic, haunting, waltzy, singer-songwritery nugget: classic Swift. “My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue,” she sings. “All’s well that ends well to end up with you.”

Next, Swift cues up a track that “plays with the idea of perception.” She has often wondered how she would be written and spoken about if she were a man, “so I wrote a song called ‘The Man.’ ” It’s a thought experiment of sorts: “If I had made all the same choices, all the same mistakes, all the same accomplishments, how would it read?” Seconds later, Swift’s earpods are pumping a synth-pop earworm into my head: “I’d be a fearless leader. I’d be an alpha type. When everyone believes ya: What’s that like?”

Swift wrote the first two singles with Joel Little, best known as one of Lorde’s go-to producers. (“From a pop-songwriting point of view, she’s the pinnacle,” Little says of Swift.) The album is likely to include more marquee names. A portrait of the Dixie Chicks in the background of the “ME!” video almost certainly portends a collaboration. If fans are correctly reading a button affixed to her denim jacket in a recent magazine cover, we can expect one with Drake, too.

Eyes On Her Designer Stella McCartney on her friendship with Swift: “In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” Stella McCartney coat. In this story: hair, Christiaan; makeup, Fulvia Farolfi. Photographed by Inez & Vinoodh, Vogue, September 2019

She recently announced a fashion collection with Stella McCartney to coincide with Lover. “We met at one of her shows,” says McCartney, “and then we had a girls’ night and kind of jumped straight in. In London we’ll go on walks and talk about everything—life and love.” (Swift has no further fashion ambitions at the moment. “I really love my job right now,” she tells me. “My focus is on music.”) Oh, and that “5” on the bullseye? Track five is called “The Archer.”

Yet something tells me the most illuminating clue for reading both Lover and Reputation may be Loie Fuller, the dancer to whom Swift paid homage on tour. As Swift noted on a Jumbotron, Fuller “fought for artists to own their work.” Fuller also used swirling fabric and colored lights to metamorphose onstage, playing a “hide-and-seek illusionist game” with her audience, as one writer has put it. She became a muse to the Symbolists in Paris, where Jean Cocteau wrote that she created “the phantom of an era.” The effect, said the poet Stéphane Mallarmé, was a “dizziness of soul made visible by an artifice.” Fuller’s most famous piece was “Serpentine Dance.” Another was “Butterfly Dance.”

SWIFT HAS HAD almost no downtime since late 2017, but what little she does have is divided among New York, Nashville, Los Angeles, and Rhode Island, where she keeps homes—plus London. In an essay earlier this year, she revealed that her mother, Andrea Swift, is fighting cancer for a second time. “There was a relapse that happened,” Swift says, declining to go into detail. “It’s something that my family is going through.”

Later this year, she will star in a film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Catsas Bombalurina, the flirtatious red cat. “They made us the size of cats by making the furniture bigger,” she says. “You’d be standing there and you could barely reach the seat of a chair. It was phenomenal. It made you feel like a little kid.”

But first, she will spend much of the summer holding “secret sessions”—a tradition wherein Swift invites hundreds of fans to her various homes to preview her new music. “They’ve never given me a reason to stop doing it,” she says. “Not a single one.”

Speaking of: Inquiring fans will want to know if Swift dropped any more clues about how to decode Lover during this interview. For you I reviewed the audio again, and there were a few things that made my newly acquired Swifty sense tingle.

At one point she compared superstardom in the digital age to life in a dollhouse, one where voyeurs “can ‘ship’ you with who they want to ‘ship’ you with, and they can ‘favorite’ friends that you have, and they can know where you are all the time.” The metaphor was precise and vivid and, well, a little too intricately rendered to be off the cuff. (Also, the “ME!” lyric: “Baby doll, when it comes to a lover. I promise that you’ll never find another like me.”)

Then there was the balloon—a giant gold balloon in the shape of a numeral seven that happened to float by while we were on her roof, on this, the occasion of her seventh album. “Is it an L’?” I say. “No, because look, the string is hanging from the bottom,” she says.

It might seem an obvious symbolic gesture, deployed for this interview, except for how impossible that seems. Swift let me control the timing of nearly everything. Moreover, the gold seven wasn’t floating up from the sidewalk below. It was already high in the sky, drifting slowly toward us from down the street. She would have had to control the wind, or at least to have studied it. Would Taylor Swift really go to such elaborate lengths for her fans? This much I know: Yes, she would.

Taylor Swift Talks Googling Herself, Which Celebrity's Closet She'd Raid, and the Bravest Thing She's Ever Done:

Vogue

[lesser-mook]

This Game is art

I literally heard a male character say “Stop thinking about guys, dude!” out loud

I expected a male character to be saying this to a buddy in reprimand but when i turned the corner

It was a male character that said this to himself, by himself, secluded from everyone else. Beating himself up verbally.

He was one of the bullying faction (ironically)

I already knew Jimmy could be “bi” if the player chose to make him that way(optional). So the queer factor was in the game. (*nods at Rockstar)

But that was unexpected. 

I’m not team progressive at all, i like things a certain way in my downtime media (call me old fashioned).

But that in particular (especially since he said it to himself in privacy) really hit me, it was an interesting surprise that i actually welcome; 

I did NOT expect that from an A.I, and that kind of “diversity” (for lack of a better term) makes the kids in Bullworth all that more real. More Immersive like an actual High School.

Well done Rockstar

If Bully 2 does happen, don’t forget the PC Gamer Nation.  

BULLY: Scholarship Edition: It’s only 15$ on Steam, pick it up or put it on Wishlist & buy it later. 

These guys left the school holding hands, i didn’t expect that either...  

[quantaquantumcollapse-blog]

Cute-T.I.P.

Still think your an American History X professor? I’m okaykaykaykay with Zerg understand overstand surround sound duh stand? K? Fish Bowl? Suck Jay-Zi Nazis dick instead ok? Or take one for Educated Ed Nordon Norton Arnold Shortnigger. Okay? Your mind games, they aren’t educated, and smart, or clever, or elv enough, or elv troll enough or foot step blue step enough blue print enough. Gay? I found my way out of that cult, gay lordes? Eat flesh dick instead carnival cornivourous flesh blood drink blood chew blood chewbaka blood. Star Wars? They already surrendered why do you get your card pulled so many times and not tell your powerless forces. Cross your eyes and ritardo retard more often ten ten ten ten ten powerful RULER. 10 inch dick? Eat one in the flesh, not mine but what am I and what are you to me? Unless that’s how you plan to kill me already, then hurry up and call the shot, and don’t get your card pulled so many times, and not admit you get your card pulled. K Cute-Tip? Your not cute to me, I’m with humans like Zerg, we don’t think about body parts to breed, or have our lar mutate. Kay Crystal Jackie Chan Panda Ex Ex Ex EX press? Hao to you nao spell Wah Ching? Blood abz? Crip abz? Eminem? Manson? Dre? Snoop? All Doggs? Bao Waos? Real doggs, not human doggs, they don’t like you also. Samrais? Twin Towers Trade Center Kamikaze giant Bush wack? Bill Gates Clinton Lewinsky Bama? Rza? Brooklyn Zoo? 76ers? 2345? 25? And his wife and children whoever they are and I don’t know there names for a reason. Anyone else? Are you all queer? Taylor Swift? War? Selena Gomez war? Arnold and Choppo war? Hong Kong war? Are you all queer? Are you the ones on auto-pilot? Undercovers want war? Tall flat top white want war? National Security long time coming want war? Cuba want war? Egypt want war? Egyptian Engineers already surrendered. Why haven’t you told everyone. Predators from Arnold’s first series until already surrendered. Why haven’t you killed me already? Aerospace want war? Space X I already mentioned. This is repetitive. Pet peeves want war? Celebrity children want war? Will Smith free will power free willy want war? Sea World want war? Brad want war? Clear Channel ads want war? B rad want war? Finding NEMO want war? Whoever has the physically measured smallest dick want war? Anyone who thinks that was sarcasm want war? Then kill me already. This is boring. If you think that makes me want to commit suicide and that it’s a joke and I tried to bond with you when I say commit suicide, then you call a shot to kill me also. K-Town want war? Chinatown Kaiser want war? Blizzard already mentioned. Gas labs want war? The gas in the indie hiphop Atmosphere want war? Satan’s fire ants want war? Porn amateur to pro want war? Escorts want war? Drugs want war? Cartels want war? Are you all queer? LGBT want war? Board and cares want war? Independent livings want war? Sweden want war? EU want war? Ant fruit tart tical want war? Red man dogg want war? Meth head crack head smoker DMX want war? Are you all queer also? Neo-Nazi shoot flips back flip Jet Li want war? Crouching Tiger Life of Pie American want war? Directors want war? What more can I say want war? Stream platforms seem to me seamen specimen off line want war? Whever Steve Oddjobs is now want war? Tim Cook Chef Mc Chef Taiwanman want war? Entertainment celeb disabled parents autistic birth defects and down want war? Your reverse racism disscrimes and hate strye lyfe Reign Supreme and Elvis want war? Compton want war? Are you hate? Player haters then haters? Pedo queer assassinators want war? Native Americans want war? Senate Intelligence want war? Do you get it want war? England queen and princess and prince whores want war? Wherever Steven Hawking is at the second want war? 50 seconds want war? Captain of every planet want war? Commandos want war? Universal Soldiers want war? Are you all queer also want war? Anyone who is an acceptant of a sextant queer butt rape pirate hunt, if you want war, kill me already. I pulled your card again, I have a blue click of button Post and it’s maybe been a minute, and I’m not killed yet. Buddhist monks kung fu fighting pandas want war? Zoos and circus acts want war? Toys R Us want war? Barneys and Noble want war? Beach mafias want war? Earth human population if you really still mean war, and mean war, and still mean war, then what are you waiting for, don’t be queer soft hearted and felatio philo sophie trophie each other every singular time I pull Google Monsters Disney Bambi solitaire White Collar Crime prison convicts and prison fishermen cards also. Prisons All Around the World Wide want war? Wardens want war? Warden workers want war? Janitors want war? Cashiers want war? Smart and Final want war? Granada Hills want war? Cute-Tip, you don’t sound cute to me, kay professor educated Norton? Edward Norton supporters, pride, power, super, want war? Whatever his name is and whatever you want to call it we pull your solitaire cards, and yellow mental health housing cards, and Supreme Court supplier cards. Venture Vulture parasite humans want war? World Wide Whole Trade Marketing Around The World Vulture Space SATA Black Plains want war? Darth Vader want war is redun...Yoda is a pussy. Nuke the moon we don’t care about it like you do, we’re already on it. Mars also. Underneath Earth also. Pluto also, underneath Pluto also. Jupiter blah blah blah blah in Black Holes also. RGB Holes also. And, if your womens, for some reason, had a sex addiction, that was us also. We pleasured them. Like you thought you could force me to masturbate and have people punt masturbate with their vocals vox mag want war? Cambridge want war? UAD want war? UAD 245 dick powerful rulers want war? Do you have children? I wouldn’t know. It wasn’t all a dream, if was all a lie. 2pac 2pack ulluminati want war? It’s redundenture kay c-surgerysurgeonsectors and to your interns want war? Patent owners want war? Government patent owners are patent owners, world sport patent owners syndysfunction patent owners want war? MIB want war? Little Mermaids want war? Barbie Fashion patent owner want war? Redundent? Las Vegas want war? Would I drive there should I drive there I wouldn’t I don’t care for human current do I care for human current? Ent want war? Millitaries how many units of army or soldiers or ranks or higher archery chries archeries and milli tia want war? Girl scouts want war? Anyone who thinks that skips and avoid boy scouts, the boy scouts should take offense that I threatened and pull girl scout cards and molest their v holes and holy spirits v holes also. I rape you of your innocence American Intelligence. Microhardsoft want war? To your work force, does the Hearthstorm work force want war? Snow man Christmas Hannukkkkkkah ISLAM want war? LAMBS want war? 911 want war? Pigs want war? Dragons want war? Bruce Lee family want war? Are you queer also? I think you all are, Puff Daddy want war? RGB want war? RGB pat tent owner want war? Enactment want war? Gamers want war? E-Sports athlete gamers want war? Industries want war? Drug industries want war? Patent owners of war want war? Hawaii want war? FIJI want war? STAten Island want war? Prosalatoss Dragoons surrendered already. Peons want war surrendered already. Are you not entertained want war? Collosuseamuseams want war? Ghettio want war? Pinnochio Q-Tip want war? You take too LONGUE nosed Pinnochio Rufio nose fone hon. Kloe 4 want war? Ghost busters BACK slavery BACK Westis Kannes Yeezeus Common Cents Black Star KRS ONE TWO THREE FOURT FIVE SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX SIX unlucky 4 want fourtune cookie worst Gucci mane want war Sesame Street Big Bird Kermit Goonies Woodpecker Gorrilaz Eastwood stars of the show and all the participated as workers whether paid or not or credited or not want war? Circle standards want war? Staples want war? Kentucky Fried Chicken Sanders NFL want war? World Series Paper Jack Can I bus rippers LL want war? Chino Small Size want war? Not circumsized want war? Circumsized want war? Breast implants want war? Natural DDDDDDDDDDDDD want war? Natural MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR breasts tits big tits petite tits petite on wheeli chairs or not hands want war? Anyone who can’t walk want war? Q-Tip want war? A Tribe Called Quest want war? Who is the commander or shot caller? I demand a whoever the powerful ruler is. Hate me more. Patent owner of the dictionary addition of hatred want war? Patent owner of the dictionary addition of you confused want war? Timba want war? Justin Time want war? MC Hammer want war? Are you all alive still? I wouldn’t know? Are you all queer? If anyone is still alive from any slavery, or was slaved their past lifes, want war? Anyone who is African American, and wasn’t slaved their past life times, or this life time, want war? Are you all queer also? Whoever is Albert Einstein, want war? Whoever heard my convo conversation smart talk small talk big talk huge talk giant talk humoungous talk humerous talk stupid talk dumb talk ignorant talk not educated talk not smart enough talk no IQ talk with my parents today, want war? I’ve pulled your Solitaire cards and military cards for how many years? Anyone who is not Ming Yi Lee, want war? Kill my mom instead of my father. I pulled your card again and tell you to kill my mom instead of my father. I don’t save face for any of u. Chive owners want war? Pin Yin and Hip Hop ban alliance patent owner want war? Pest cast and workers want war? Anyone still on TV as a worker and workers of the TV casts want war? Any one who is an influencer or actor or actent on the World Wide Web Digital Frame Print Frame School Book Frame Frame Frame want war? Ancient Life already collapsed. I pull their manifesto filo piro quick switch cards everyday. Nitro Komodo want war? Bears want war? Man bears want war? Arab Cough fee want war? Chocolate patent owners want war? We already went through this. Slave patent owners want war? Ment patent owners want war? Mental patent owners want war? Phys patent owners want war? Physical patent owners want war? Ent want war? 12345

[asexual-society]

Asexual/A-Spec YouTube List!

I think we can all agree that it’s nice to see yourself and people like you in media. It’s also great to hear the experiences and knowledge of others. So, here’s a big ass list of YouTube a-specs! 

The descriptions for each channel are pretty much just copied and pasted from their channel descriptions. Unless they didn’t have a description, in which case I just wrote ‘vlogger’.

Please note: All the content of the channels below might or might not reflect the views or opinions of this blog or it’s moderators. Nor is all of it safe for work or free of problematic elements. Please use your own discretion. Enjoy!

Amelia Ace: Vlogs about asexuality, her life, LGBTQ issues and nerdy stuff; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram

Queer as cat: An American living and working in Japan. Vesper is a black, queer, non-binary, asexual (ace) vlogger and blogger. They strive to help raise awareness of the intersections of sexuality, gender, and race and to increase visibility and representation for people like themself who are in the crosshairs of such intersectionality.; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat

Evan Edinger: Describes himself as ‘near demisexual’, Edinger is an  American YouTuber living in London. known for puns and British–American comparisons; Twitter

swankivy (AKA: Julie Sondra Decker): Novelist, creativity junkie, singer, musicals nerd, activist, jellybean fiend, pencil scribbler, serial rambler. She literally wrote the book on asexuality called, The Invisible Orientation; Tumblr, Twitter, Website

Quinn Creates: Trans man YouTuber based in Toronto, Canada; Instagram

Celeste M: Nonbinary, aromantic, and asexual. Talks about gender and sexuality as well as other aspects of their identity. Also makes videos about vegan cooking, geeky stuff like conventions and cosplay, and all kinds of other stuff; Instagram, Website

OnlyAliceMitchell: UK based ace vlogger

Tatiana Danielle: Vlogger

saskia and lily: A vlog channel by two a-spec girls in a relationship together

NotJustBlonde: An ace UK based vlogger; Tumblr, Twitter

simply_kenna: An aro/ace American vlogger. Her channel is very cute and whimsical. Mostly vlogs about make-up, fashion, DIY projects, poetry, and writing; Tumblr, Instagram

HeyoDamo: Gay/a-spec Australian dancer and actor who just has too many things to say really... Sometimes it's about mental health, sometimes it's about sexuality, sometimes it's about curtains; Tumblr, Twitter, Intsagram

Kiki Vlogs: Gay/Ace vlogger and sketch comedy creator; Twitter, Instagram, Etsy

The Ace Space: Friends that got to know each-other on the internet because of their asexuality. 

Cookee Monsterr: An a-spec UK based vlogger

DumandsONE: A-spec Non-binary Canadian vlogger; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram

eched P: Talks about different aspects of being asexual, random movies(a lot of horror!) and just fun junk. 

Egg & Neko: Edwin and his friend Jennifer make funny skits 

maximalist: Cosplayer and vlogger; Tumblr

Hiten Mitsuru: Makes commentaries and speedpaints; Tumblr, Twitter, Picartio

peerieweirdo: UK vlogger. Talks about memes and music and life; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram

JulianGreystoke: Book reviews, Videos about writing, Vlogs, and epic Fanfiction!

JoeeJayy: Demiboy homoromantic asexual Cambridge Geography Graduate from the West Country. Vlogging and academic discussion.

youngblossom: American trans male aroace vlogger; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Etsy

ThatGirlWithTheCurl: Aromantic vlogger

mikadocious: Asexual Vlogger

Lauren Harkins: American aroace vlogger; Twitter, Instagram

enchantology: American a-spec gamer, writer, and book reviewer; Twitter, Tumblr, Goodreads

ChandlerNWilson: American agender a-spec vlogger. They make different videos ranging anywhere from educational videos about different LGBTQ identities to vlogs of what's going on in their life; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Shop 

hatlittlegeorgia: UK asexual biromantic vlogger; Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest

En Español 

Danitza628: Mexican lithromantic vlogger. Su propia descripción: Hola, soy Danitza y me gusta contar historias sobre mi vida. ¡Escúchame y conviértete en un buñuelo!; Twitter

Weirdizm: Spanish a-spec vlogger.  Makes videos about travels to different countries 

Andrea F: Aroace Spanish book reviewer 

asadaf: A-spec Spanish vlogger. Discusses feminism, art, and social issues. Porque la revolución será feminista o no será; Twitter, Instagram

Chaoko: A-spec makeup and cosplay artist. (Warning: Some of this channel is NSFW); Instagram, shop

Purple Unicorn:  En este canal hablaré sobre temas queer mayormente.

dibadibae: Information channel and vlog

Chrysocolla Town: Chile based Spanish language asexual information and listing channel ;Tumblr, Twitter, Wordpress Blog, Asexuales Chile blog

SomosACEs: Canal de vlogs de la Asociación ACEs, una asociación interseccional de personas dentro del espectro asexual y arromántico en España. Aquí podréis encontrar vlogs educativos y entretenidos sobre la asexualidad, demisexualidad, grisexualidad etc. http://www.asexual.es/ ;Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, http://www.asexual.es/

Archive channels:

Asexual Media Archives: An archive channel, collecting all things asexual. Features videos in different languages, including Spanish, Finnish, and German

Aces Wild: Aces Wild is a YouTube Channel reporting on news and updates within the Asexual Community, along with informational videos and the occasional joke; Tumblr, Twitter