The moonlight doesn't feel the same.
Do you remember, being young in your parents home? Waking up in the middle of the night, wandering to the kitchen to get a snack, or just feeling aimless and wanting to wander the house? I felt that a lot growing up.
The silence of the night was required, dad would get upset if he thought I was up for no reason, but I'd do it anyway.
I would walk into the kitchen, and the night sky would be mostly clear, the moon large, but it still feeling just dark enough to be cozy. The moonlight would slightly light up the room and I would glance at the stove top clock to see it was about 3 in the morning or so.
Some nights, I would just sit against the fridge and just feel the calm seeping into my bones.
It didn't feel like sunbathing, where the warmth would envelop everything and I could just lay and feel the heat from head to toe.
It wasnt cold either.
It felt like I was alone, but not lonely. The surroundings of my parents' home so familiar, yet different enough to be interesting, that sitting there didn't leave me feeling tired. It didn't make me feel wide awake. It was just. I dont know. Something different.
Even in the moment, I knew that feeling was special, but I've never been able to name it.
But now, I've lived in many homes. I have lived alone. I have lived with a roommate. I have lived with my cats. I have lived with my husband.
I've lived in places all across the world. Different air, different weather, but supposedly the same night sky, the same moon.
And I have not been able to replicate that feeling except in the childhood home my parents no longer own.
If I walk around in the middle of the night and look outside, that feeling is just gone.
I want the moonlight to feel like it did before, but I dont think it ever will.
And I just don't know what to do with that knowledge.
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π γ Calm Nightγ by kkkk1009
Available for streaming worldwide!π
Added to our weekly playlist π§
https://spoti.fi/3lgjH73
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