#campaign vs show

[demonologue]

Gilmore helped Vax find his wings

Hi, everyone. It's me. Back again, to give you more Gilmore!Facts from campaign 1 that didn't make it into LoVM.

You may or may not know that "my bird" is one of Gilmore's pet names for Vax. Well. There's a reason for that.

The first time Vax used his wings, it was because Gilmore pushed him off a cliff. With love. To show him what he could do.

See, when the gang first returned to Whitestone after getting the Death Walker's Ward (some really dramatic things happened which will probably never make it onto the show), after which Vax asked Gilmore to take a look at his armor. And Gilmore noticed the RQ had recently upgraded the armor for Vax.

And there's a really beautiful scene where Vax learns how to fly and he's so elated that he snatches Gilmore up in his arms and they fly together and it's romantic and heartbreaking because they're not together like that anymore... but I digress. Here's some well-known canon-accurate fanart by Wendy Sullivan (@wendydoodles here and on twitter) of that scene:

Believe it or not, Vaxilmore used to be a decent-sized ship.

It's fine changing things from the campaign. Like Tal said, The Legend of Vox Machina is "a reinterpretation". But Gilmore deserves better than what he's gotten so far. And so I'll be back. Giving you these little facts.

[utilitycaster]

Sort of a distant tangent off my post about Ashton, but I'm growing more and more suspicious of the fandom claim that there's no time for small RP moments in Campaign 3. I do think that it's been challenging to get deeper party bonding or serious conversations that aren't about the big philosophical questions they're facing, since those do take much more time; but then I think about Calamity, or Candela Obscura. I can genuinely give you at least a couple paragraphs about pretty much every relationship in the two Circles, or in the Ring of Brass. I can also point to no shortage of small moments between characters in the Mighty Nein Aeor or Vox Machina Vecna endgame episodes, which were all extremely plot-heavy and fast-paced, and D20 consistently nails character relationships in a fraction of the time.

I think it really does come down to, as Brennan Lee Mulligan always says, the character creation phase. Laying down a solid groundwork in which everyone has a detailed, rich backstory and sense of personality and relationship history (in the case of characters who knew each other prior to the start of the series) is absolutely crucial, and even in the case of characters who don't know each other before going in, a good amount of time spent in character creation ensures that it's easier for them to develop those interpersonal relationships on the fly. I know in actual play there's some degree of finding the character as you play, but there are games for which there is a very short runway, and I don't think it ever hurts to do more extensive character prep than the bare minimum. And if there are gaps, I think it also helps to go back and fill those in mid-way, away from the table - Travis clarifying Chetney's backstory being a great example that allowed the history of Chetney and Deanna to feel realized and full, despite only a few episodes.

I'll also be blunt: most of the time when people complain that there aren't moments because the plot keeps moving...they're mad about shipping. Which has always rung hollow to me. It was a common complaint in C2, that no time was taken for character relationships, despite them taking an entire half of an episode for the Beauyasha date and despite no shortage of moments for all three of the other couples (and plenty of platonic moments between friends). The issue was never a lack of time; it was that the characters they wanted to talk to each other didn't actually have the relationship in canon that the fans had dreamed up, and so, when the chips were down, they went to other people.

It takes two seconds to say something like "I hold their hand", even in the middle of plot-heavy adventuring. If someone doesn't say it, it's rarely the GM rushing them; it's the player either choosing not to do so, or not remembering to do so, and either of those is quite revealing regarding how the player feels about that relationship and where it stands in their priorities.

[saintkey]

personally i think we deserve the starkid cast in the dome at one point

[greenteacology]

Utkarsh did what Erika couldn’t: get his PC successfully killed by the main cast

[juniestar]

How on earth is harris v trump a tight race??? How do ppl look at donald trump having SEEN the way he acted in his presidential term, seen his LENGTHY criminal record, seen the fact that NOBODY else in his party aside from some loose hanging cultists wants to associate with him, seen the way he literally incited riots after losing an election which resulted in at least seven deaths, seen his total lack of coherent policy plan, and think yeah well but Kamala is a cop. Which isn’t even fucking true

[midground]

I think it’ll be really neat to see how Matt Mercer fares with the Dimension 20 format. Matt tends to favor attrition-style encounter design (lots of smaller, narratively inconsequential combats meant to drain party resources ahead of the Final Fight). This style is sort of the default for how 5e assumes you’ll play (hence why Short Rests exist), and it’s a perfectly valid style choice, especially for home play and for long-form campaigns.

While I don’t mind playing that style, I find it way less engaging as a viewer when it’s used in Actual Play. As a viewer, I generally prefer the D20 format of (what I refer to as) Set Piece Encounters. Big, story-relevant fights where the PCs have most if not all of their resources and abilities from the start, often with multiple paths to victory that the PCs need to discover as they interact with the encounter.

To be clear, it’s not like Matt CAN’T do this, there are tons of examples of this kind of encounter design across all 3 campaigns (C1 BBEG fight, C2 Cathedral Fight, C2 BBEG fight, C3 Museum Heist), it just tends to be reserved more for special occasions rather than being the default. But that makes sense because Critical Role is long-form as opposed to Dimension 20′s limited-run seasons.

(I really can’t emphasize enough that Dimension 20s limited-run nature is what makes it possible for every Encounter to be a big Set Piece Encounter.)

And because Dimension 20 has SUCH a strong format of alternating Roleplay and Combat episodes, because Dimension 20 seasons are limited in scope, and the Encounters are worked out with the production team ahead of time, I’m hoping that Matt really leans into it. I’m so excited to find out what he does with a limited-run season (REALLY can’t wait to know how many episodes there will be). I’m really hoping to see him flex his Set Piece Encounter design skills in the dome.

[misandriste]

↪︎ endless gifs of alexa chung ♡

ALEXA CHUNG for Longchamp Fall 2014

[secretsalute]

Hi new Critters!

As someone so kindly pointed out to me when I first hopped on the live play bandwagon, the CR players refer to their games as Campaigns as these games tend to last quite a long time (a couple years at least) and are not scheduled like typical tv seasons.

It'll also help cut down on confusion when discussing the animated series vs the actual plays.

[tiklishgirl]

Hey I love Critical Role, it is the greatest thing I have ever stumbled upon, I keep seeing the weirdest black and white controversies in this fandom and I really cannot handle this shit.

[demonologue]

Gilmore dueled Thordak in the campaign

For the record. JSYK This happened in episode 39/40, when the dragons first attacked.

It was off-screen, and we never learned the exact details, but that's how Gilmore got so grievously injured when the Chroma Conclave tore up Emon. He didn't just have a building fall on him (that happened later).

So think about what you just saw in episode 1 and then imagine a lone purple sorcerer fighting kaiju!Thordak. Because he did.

He's also the one who saved Salda and the children from the dragons. I love more KimAllura content, trust me, but it was Gilmore who did that in the campaign.

Let me be clear: Gilmore is an absolute badass.

Unfortunately, we have yet to really see it in The Legend of Vox Machina so far.

I'm not complaining. He is ALSO a full-figured, fabulous small business owner who flirts with Vax. But he's way more than that.

I'm not asking for an explanation or a justification. I'm not trying to start a fistfight in the Wawa parking lot. I'm just telling you what really happened.

If you see any OG Gilmore fans not being 100% happy with s2 episode 1, that's why.

[nhlovesadri3]

The interview and video (she is fetaured only a second...) form the article are below:

Adriana Lima Says ‘Every Woman Can Feel Sexy’ as She Stars in Victoria's Secret's New Campaign (Exclusive)

The supermodel, who appears in the campaign for the Icon by Victoria’s Secret collection launching Aug. 10, opens up to PEOPLE about how she hopes to empower women now.

Adriana Lima can still remember the first time she went bra shopping and marveled at all the options.

After many years and many bras, Lima, 42, says her heart belongs to one style: the push-up. "I always love one," she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

The item is the centerpiece to Victoria’s Secret’s new collection, called The Icon by Victoria's Secret, which features the a Push-Up Demi Bra alongside other items that celebrate a range of shapes and sizes (32A-44DDD and XS-XXL, to be exact). It launches Aug. 10.

Lima, who is one of the many famous faces of the campaign (Gisele Bündchen, Naomi Campbell and Candice Swanepoel are marking their return to the brand for this. It also includes Adut Akech, Hailey Bieber, Paloma Elsesser, Sui He and Emily Ratajkowski) loves that the collection "enhances your natural shape and makes you feel comfortable." And true to its name, it also inspires you to feel like an icon, she says.

“The name says a lot. Every woman can be an icon," Lima says. "It's all about being unique. Everybody has their own ways of expressing their emotions and themselves — that uniqueness makes you special."

The collection also includes panties, lingerie, slips and robes, as well as a Push-Up Plunge bra created with technology that lifts and "is customized to enhance the wearer’s natural shape," according to a press release.

"It's incredible to see the technologies and materials [used to] build a bra," notes Lima. To get the very best fit, she suggests booking an in-store fitting session. 

For Lima's beautiful black-and-white photograph, she modeled a slip dress from the collection.

Being on set and working with an "incredible cast" was “uplifting” for her. "Everyone [was] leaving their marks and [expressing themselves] through their work. It was really incredible for me."

Another plus: being energized by the women around her.

“I think as a woman, we need to embrace and support each other. Sometimes you see that women don't [do that], but I think it's important to change that because, well, we need to change the world.”

The Icon campaign marks Lima’s second major collaboration with Victoria’s Secret since reigniting her relationship with the brand in April. At the time Lima – whose reintroduction coincided with the relaunch of Heavenly Eau de Parfum – told PEOPLE her comeback was a “wish” come true. Four months later, she still expresses the same level of gratitude and excitement. 

“Working with Victoria's Secret for 20 years was really, truly living a dream. When I got the call asking me to come back, it felt so good. It's an honor [to return]," says the Brazil native, who officially became an Angel in 2000.

After walking in her last Victoria's Secret fashion show in 2018, she became a mom of three, welcoming her and boyfriend Andre Lemmer’s son Cyan in September 2022. (She shares daughters Sienna and Valentina with ex Marko Jarić.)

Lima relishes in representing — and empowering — women at this stage of her professional career and personal life.

"I'm 42 and I'm a mom [now]. I've gone from being a part of PINK to doing campaigns for more mature women. It's so wonderful to be representing women, [especially] Latina women and moms."

Lima knows the moms can often shelve their sensual side to focus on other aspects of their lives. It doesn't have to be that way, she says. “Even though you are a mom, you can feel feminine and elegant."

And whether you're a mom or not, Lima wants you to feel sexy. "I strongly believe that every woman out there likes to feel [that way]. Sometimes they're afraid to express that. I was one of them. But what I say is: don't be afraid. It's something that you learn and there are things that you can do to help you."

Whether that means spritzing on your favorite fragrance or sporting your favorite lingerie, as Lima suggests, "what matters is your attitude, how you embrace yourself and how you embrace your body," she says.

[physalian]

How To Make Your Writing Less Stiff 5

Movement

Dredging this back up from way back.

Make sure your characters move, but not too much during heavy dialogue scenes. E.g. two characters sitting and talking—do humans just stare at each other with their arms lifeless and bodies utterly motionless during conversation? No? Then neither should your characters. Make them…

Gesture

Wave

Frown

Laugh

Cross their legs/their arms

Shift around to get comfortable

Pound the table

Roll their eyes

Point

Shrug

Touch their face/their hair

Wring their hands

Pick at their nails

Yawn

Stretch

Sniff/sniffle

Tap their fingers/drum

Bounce their feet

Doodle

Fiddle with buttons or jewelry

Scratch an itch

Touch their weapons/gadgets/phones

Check the time

Get up and sit back down

Move from chair to tabletop

The list goes on.

Bonus points if these are tics that serve to develop your character, like a nervous fiddler, or if one moves a lot and the other doesn’t—what does that say about the both of them? This is where “show don’t tell” really comes into play.

As in, you could say “he’s nervous” or you could show, “He fidgets, constantly glancing at the clock as sweat beads at his temples.”

This site is full of discourse on telling vs showing so I’ll leave it at that.

Epithets

In the Sci-fi WIP that shall never see the light of day, I had a flashback arc for one male character and his relationship with another male character. On top of that, the flashback character was a nameless narrator for Reasons.

Enter the problem: How would you keep track of two male characters, one who you can't name, and the other who does have a name, but you can’t oversaturate the narrative with it? I did a few things.

Nameless Narrator (written in 3rd person limited POV) was the only narrator for the flashback arc. I never switched to the boyfriend’s POV.

Boyfriend had only a couple epithets that could only apply to him, and halfway through their relationship, NN went from describing him as “the other prisoner” to “his cellmate” to “his partner” (which was also a double entendre). NN also switched from using BF’s full name to a nickname both in narration and dialogue.

BF had a title for NN that he used exclusively in dialogue, since BF couldn’t use his given name and NN hadn’t picked a new one for himself.

Every time the subject of the narrative switched, I started a new paragraph so “he” never described either character ambiguously mid-paragraph.

Is this an extreme example? Absolutely, but I pulled it off according to my betas.

The point of all this is this: Epithets shouldn’t just exist to substitute an overused name. Epithets de-personalize the subject if you use them incorrectly. If your narrator is thinking of their lover and describing that person without their name, then the trait they pick to focus on should be something equally important to them. In contrast, if you want to drive home how little a narrator thinks of somebody, using depersonalizing epithets helps sell that disrespect.

Fanfic tends to be the most egregious with soulless epithets like "the black-haired boy" that tell the reader absolutely nothing about how the narrator feels about that black-haired boy, espeically if they're doing so during a highly-emotional moment.

As in, NN and BF had one implied sex scene. Had I said “the other prisoner” that would have completely ruined the mood. He’s so much more than “the other prisoner” at that point in the story. “His partner,” since they were both a combat team and romantically involved, encompassed their entire relationship.

The epithet also changed depending on what mood or how hopeless NN saw their situation. He’d wax and wane over how close he believed them to be for Reasons. NN was a very reserved character who kept BF at a distance, afraid to go “all in” because he knew there was a high chance of BF not surviving this campaign. So NN never used “his lover”.

All to say, epithets carried the subtext of that flashback arc, when I had a character who would not talk about his feelings. I could show you the progression of their relationship through how the epithets changed.

I could show you whenever NN was being a big fat liar about his feelings when he said he's not in love, but his narration gave him away. I could show you the exact moment their relationship shifted from comrades to something more when NN switched mid-paragraph from "his cellmate" to "his partner" and when he took up BF's nickame exclusively in the same scene.

I do the same thing in Eternal Night when Elias, my protagonist, stops referring to Dorian as "it" and "the vampire" instead of his name the moment they collide with a much more dangerous vampire, so jarringly that Elias notices in his own narration—the point of it being so explicit is that this degredation isn't automatic, it's something he has to conciously do, when everyone else in his clan wouldn't think twice about dehumanizing them.

—

Any literary device should be used with intent if you want those layers in your work. The curtains are rarely just blue. Whether it’s a simile with a deliberate comparison or an epithet with deliberate connotations, your readers will pick up on the subtext, I promise.

[bakafox]

I sometimes wonder if a lot of people on the left just don't let themselves be consciously aware that yes, the people who back authoritarianism, fascism, and generally n*zi bullcrap will be voting. On all levels, local to national. All the time.

Because like, people who aren't authoritarian in leaning will argue. Will point out that there's cons and be depressed sometimes easily that there is no perfect candidate.

But- the very point of being an authoritarian is that once they choose their authority, they do what they are told.

They are told to vote by one politician they decided is on their side to vote for another one and will do it without many, if any, questions.

They're told to vote (illegally if it's during a service) by their pastor, by their boss, by their parents, by their spouse, by someone in authority over them that they have accepted as the authority, and they'll go out and do it.

Some of them can snap out of it if it really goes too much against some spark inside, but the whole thing of their wanting a simplistic us vs them world view where they can just sit back and do what they're told and feel better, comfortable, or even superior for doing it means that they'll go do as they're told and then feel good and superior about doing it.

This is how they've long-gamed the GOP to where it is today, that's what is meant when people say "the Republicans just go out and vote". They do that! And they vote without putting any thought into it, without stressing much about imperfections.

Non authoritarians/non-fascists are more likely to give up, or argue against candidates, or just be contrarian, and thus might rather shoot themselves in the foot when it comes time to just doing what is a civic duty to try and prevent the rise of what the other side will always, always turn out in their full numbers to back.

Even if they live in an area where theoretically they would be outvoted 20 to 2, they will show up 'defiantly' and cast their votes for the person they have been told by someone they have decided to trust told them to vote for. Even if they don't know a damn thing about the candidate other than two talking points from a campaign ad or that were talked about at the church social.

This doesn't make any voting at all useless, it doesn't make anyone who votes sheep. It makes voting absolutely required by anyone opposing them. Not 'instead' of community action and protests and letters or whatever the fuck else, but along with.

It means as long as there are any elections, yes, to avoid fascists winning elections 'fairly' (not gonna get into gerrymandering here,) people have got to show up and vote against them, because the fascist voters aren't going to take a mental health day or write in a joke or go third party. Some person whose authority clicked a little circuit in their brain on, who maybe got them riled up about <one thing> told them to vote for <whoever> and they are going to vote for <whoever>, regardless of whatever <other things> are out there being ignored as less consequential.

[wilwheaton]

For some odd reason, moderator Jake Tapper told Trump in the beginning that he didn't need to answer the questions and that he could use the time however he wanted. Trump ran with that, essentially giving a rally speech whenever he had the floor and was unresponsive to the vast majority of the questions. He made faces and insulted Biden to his face, at one point calling him a criminal and a Manchurian candidate. If anyone had said 10 years ago that this would happen at a presidential debate they would have been laughed out of the room. After the debate when most of the country had turned off cable news or gone to bed, CNN aired its fact check. [...] Even had Joe Biden been at the top of his game, he would not have been able to parry all those lies and he shouldn't have been put in the role of being Donald Trump's fact checker. His choice was to either ignore the lies and let them stand so he could use his time to make his own case or spend the entire debate correcting the record. It was not a fair fight. It's obvious that Biden's terrible performance has caused panic among Democrats and liberal pundits and analysts. The calls for him to withdraw are loud and meaningful and it's going to be a very rough period in this campaign whatever happens. For me, this isn't really a question. As long as Donald Trump is on the ballot, I will vote for the Democratic nominee. If it's Biden or someone else, the calculation remains the same. Nothing is worse than another Trump administration and I suspect that at the end of the day Democratic voters will agree with that. So it's still a matter of those undecided voters in swing states, just like it was on Thursday morning.

CNN's debate was no fair fight

CNN, yet again, gave Trump a national stage to vomit an endless stream of unchecked lies, and today, CNN is telling itself and anyone who will listen that the network and its moderators did a great job. That’s just plainly false, and America is paying the price for their failure.

That doesn’t let Biden off the hook. Biden had a terrible night. He was so bad, it’s allowed the political press to completely ignore not just how much Trump lied, but what he lied about: January 6, all his indictments, his Covid response, and on and on. President Biden was a disaster, and his campaign should be at DefCon 1 to try and repair all the damage. I am terrified that his awful performance will obscure his surprisingly good record and leadership in the post-insurrection era, and give the political press an excuse to run with “Biden is old” in the face of Trump’s endless lies, his felony convictions, his pending trials, and all of his criminality. Someone at Salon said that Trump didn’t win, but Biden absolutely lost. I can’t argue with that, even if the facts are all on Biden’s side.

I’ve seen President Biden on TV today, and even last night after the debate, where he didn’t come across as an ancient dude who needs a walker on his way to some Matlock reruns. He looks and sounds like the SOTU Biden we all expected would show up last night. I have no idea why he was so awful for 99% of the debate (the campaign says he has a cold), and I have no idea why the guy who is showing up to speak to supporters today, and who delivered the SOTU didn’t show up last night to save America from Trump, again.

But we have to live with this reality now, and I hope like hell that the Biden campaign, the candidate, and the entire Democratic party apparatus scrambles like fucking crazy to get all hands on deck to fix this, and remind voters that

This isn’t about BIden vs. Trump. This is about America vs. Project 2025.

There will be no second debate where Biden can try to salvage something out of the wreckage of this one. Trump has everything to lose and nothing to gain. Trump will crow about how he won, and declare he has no reason to debate again, and he’s right. Biden had one shot and he absolutely blew it. The moderators did not help, but the campaign had to have known they wouldn’t, and it sure looks like they didn’t prepare Biden for what we all knew was coming. I don’t know how those same people stop the bleeding, and if they can’t, America and the world are in real, real trouble.

But we all have to remember that we have a choice to make in just a few months. Right now, and probably on election day, the choice is between Joe Biden and Democracy, or Donald Trump and Fascism. It’s stark, it’s clear, it’s binary, and I can not believe that it is even a question. I just hope that there are enough voters out there who will understand that we do have a choice. The options suck, but we do have a choice.

Please choose Democracy. Please choose America. Please choose the future world our children will inherit from us.

[queermikewheelertruther]

mileven vs byler fight

I think by now we’ve all seen that “I really want s5 to be milevens season” post, but I noticed something interesting about it.

“No fights.” Now this isn’t just specific to this post, I’ve seen plenty of other milevens say similar things and just generally being against the idea of a mileven fight.

But compare this to Bylers. I’ve seen countless amounts of posts wishing/begging for another Byler fight, a rain fight, etc. But why is this? What’s the difference between mileven and Byler’s fights?

With Byler, their arguments always end resolved. Mike apologies to Will, and they tend to have some sort of intimate moment(s) afterwards. But compare this to mileven, they don’t. Any relationship issues mileven has had throughout the series haven’t really been resolved.

These problems just kind of build up overtime and result in things like an argument “you can’t come back from.” I also feel like this is why milevens don’t want a mileven fight again. They know that it wasn’t really fixed. Their relationship isn’t doing so well by the end of s4.

As for Byler, their fights build on to their relationship, and also just their characters. As we’ve seen in s4, the rain fight encouraged Mike to join a dnd campaign again, and also attempt to bring the party back together. And their s4 fight, well I mean, all I have to say is the flirtatious bedroom scene(s) LMAOO

But milevens can clearly see that it’s not the same case for mileven. A fight wouldn’t help their relationship, because they don’t understand each other when they have a disagreement romantically.

(id also like to add that milevens arguments just… aren’t on the same level as bylers. for example, milevens ‘fight’ in s3 didn’t feel emotional. it felt like the average teen couple breaking up but it didn’t feel devastating or even that big of a deal. as for byler, they want you to feel kind of taken back by their fights. they want you to go “wow, this is a pretty serious argument that no other friendship seems to have in the show.” and for a reason too. milevens fight in s4, it was upsetting but in a specific way. they’re trying to make it feel unappealing, hence why mileven is always separated and having problems throughout the series.)

[pippin-katz]

Alex & Being Bisexual 🩷💜💙

I've seen a lot of people complaining about Alex not having as big of a crisis over being bisexual as he did in the books, but I feel like a lot of people are overlooking the development he does go through.

Henry is the first guy he has felt attracted to that he actually knew prior to getting physically involved.

Alex & Miguel

Nora's asks specifically about men Alex has "been with", not men he's liked or interested him. She means physically, and he knows that too. Alex doesn't even bother with giving any context or details for his high school hook up. His description of his hook up with Miguel is straightforward, direct, and factual, because he doesn't have an emotional attachment to that moment or Miguel.

This, and his interactions with Miguel, gives the impression that they don't really know each other that well. It seems like they met during the campaign, made out in a hot tub, and now occasionally they talk at school.

They don't seem like friends, rather acquaintances after a one night stand, which is pretty much what they did. Their first conversation is mostly Miguel trying to get quotes for his journal and flirting with him rather than any kind of real discussion.

Gifs courtesy of @phakphumm from this post

Alex isn't stupid; he knows Miguel is flirting with him, however he chooses not to acknowledge it. He doesn't discourage him, but he does not encourage him either.

He avoids saying anything about it at all. His expressions after the eyelashes comment show him at a bit of a loss for how to respond. Alex seems flattered by the compliment, but doesn't seem to have any real desire to hook up again.

Everything Miguel says, he says in an attempt to get something out of him, whether it be flirting to hook up and/or get quotes for his journal.

Same thing at the state dinner; Alex isn't fully paying attention cause he's busy staring at Henry, but Miguel opens with compliments, specifically about his memo, which is definitely an attempt to flatter him. Then he starts asking direct questions about the campaign, Alex doesn't answer, and he walks away. They're not really friends.

New Territory

It's one thing to admit being somewhat attracted to the same sex, under limited, physical circumstances. Lots of people often joke about "being straight/gay but I would sleep with this person".

It's another thing to develop an attraction to a person you know of the same sex when you've never had those feelings before. It's not just physical anymore, because you know and like this person outside of that context, and the physical intimacy gains a new meaning.

Alex VS Feelings

This is a new feeling for Alex. This man practically makes out with two women he barely knows without any qualms, but when he's waiting to see Henry? His close friend who he knows and plans to kiss?

He is nervous; not just a little nervous either:

Alex is a pretty confident guy, able to host massive parties and dance without any reservations about it, unlike Henry who awkwardly bounces. He's a fantastic public speaker. Excluding the wedding, which were extreme circumstances, he's able to navigate a room comfortably. We know from the closet conversation that he used to get scared, but it's clear based on his campaign efforts, the DNC speech, and so on that he's grown into his role and can play it well.

Here, Alex can't sit still. He doesn't know how to stand. He's shifting around, almost pacing. He visibly tries to muster up the confidence we know he has, but can't. He's trying to pose, or look confident, and almost gets there, but the second the door opens, he panics and just stands there.

"But that's just cause he really likes Henry!"

Yes, exactly; Henry is his first step towards fully realizing his identity.

Once the tension is broken, Alex is confident again and doesn't hesitate anymore. He may not be completely sure of his identity, but he is completely sure that he wants Henry. Those thoughts take priority when he kisses him. He knows physical intimacy. He knows how to kiss with someone regardless of who they are. He has been with a couple men, and is a man himself, so he knows what feels good. His confidence stays intact during their exchange when they get to his bedroom.

There are very small moments where you can see his nerves poke through.

When Henry pushes Alex over the couch, not only is it surprising to him, it also disconnects them for a few seconds. He has a chance to look at Henry while they're not touching or kissing, no direct distraction.

When Henry starts undoing his pants, he looks up, inhales quickly, blinks a couple times, and swallows; it's almost like he's thinking "okay this is actually happening now". Again, no direct distraction, as Henry isn't doing anything yet, and Alex isn't touching or kissing him.

Both moments go by fast though because he's focused on what he knows, the physical part. He knows he wants Henry physically, so he can focus on that, and deal with the other feelings later.

Alex is aware that he has feelings toward Henry that are new to him. He doesn't know what they mean, and it's nothing even close to what he feels later in Paris and at the lake house, but they're starting to form. He's the one who suggests that he and Henry see each other again, and you would have to be blind not to see the brief disappointment on his face when Henry says it has to be very casual. It's also important to note that this is right after Alex comes out.

The Bisexual Label

While his feelings make Alex nervous, Henry is still his friend and he feels comfortable around him. He's the first person he comes out to; he was unable to say anything definitive about his identity during his conversation with Nora, despite her best efforts to help him.

Henry is the first person he tells and he distinctly shows uncertainty when he first uses the bisexual label:

He's serious about it; not overly serious, but he's coming out very formally. He's nervous, even though he's telling Henry, who he literally hooked up with five minutes ago. Henry already knows he's attracted to men. Alex is not nervous about that; it is clearly the label that he's uncertain about.

Confidence

A lot of people get taken by surprise when they start questioning their identity because they had simply never thought about it before.

The uncertainty Alex has about his identity was initiated by his feelings for Henry. Alex clearly never considered the idea of being in an actual relationship with a man. Without Henry, he may have never figured out that he was fully bisexual. He may have continued fooling around occasionally with guys, never giving serious thought to the other possibilities, unless/until he met someone like Henry who basically smacks him in the face with a mirror.

Being with Henry makes him truly think about himself, and come to the conclusion that he's bisexual. Seeing/dating Henry also makes him more comfortable and confident in his identity over time.

While Alex hadn't acknowledged Miguel's advances before, after he sleeps with Henry, he actively calls him out on it and refuses without hesitation as soon as Miguel puts the suggestion out there. Miguel even says "Well, I don't anymore", confirming that had been his intention in earlier scenes.

He had been trying to hook up with him again, and because Alex never addressed it, Miguel thought that it was possible. Alex may not have addressed his comments, but Miguel could see for himself that they had a positive reaction; he felt flattered and bashful. That response coupled with the fact that Alex did not outright tell him to stop was enough reason for Miguel to think it could happen again.

Also, Alex told Nora that he got the feeling Miguel wanted to hook up again, but that he was a journalist, which does not say he wouldn't be down. He never says he wouldn't want to; instead he expresses his apprehension to the idea due to his job. So for all intents and purposes, before Henry came along, Miguel was correct to think it was a possibility.

This seems to be the first time Alex has ever actually addressed their tension, and it occurs after he starts seeing Henry and using the bisexual label.

Owning The Bi Label

Then Zahra finds him and Henry the next morning. She is kind enough not to tell Ellen immediately, because even if she won't admit it, she does care about Alex a lot and recognizes the importance of something like this. However, she makes it very clear that he needs to tell her ASAP or she will.

When he comes out to his mom, he is significantly more sure of himself when he uses the bisexual label. He laughs and uses the shorten term "bi" which is a small detail but indicates his confidence, compared to how he cautiously said "bisexual" when coming out to Henry. He's not at all nervous to use the term, and says it grinning.

This is also indicative of his confidence in his label because Alex doesn't lead with his sexuality. He leads with meeting someone, and clarifying that it's a man, and that it's Henry. So once they're on the couch talking, Ellen is also already aware that he is attracted to men, but this time, he's prompted about his label and he shows zero nerves about using the term "bi".

Queer Identity

By the end of the movie, Alex is able to publicly refer to himself as having a queer identity. Obviously, he was outed against his will, but he is still able to stand up and acknowledge who he is without nerves about it. He has been with Henry for a year, and he knows who he is, and he’s not ashamed of it. As he says, the leaks were an issue of privacy, not shame. Alex is not afraid to say who he is, and he is queer, he is bisexual. He’s a different person than he was before Henry. He’s learned about himself because of him.

Does he have a complete, computer-error-noise breakdown over it? No, he doesn’t, but he does not immediately start waving a bi flag around either.

Okay, that’s all! This took so freaking long to put together, but I hope it helps people understand how his bisexuality is addressed in the movie. Just because he has a different journey than he did in the book does not mean he did not have a journey at all, and I hope this allows people to see it more clearly!

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