#can you tell I am Lynch-obsessed yet?

[emiarainewrites]

Rest In Peace, Julian Sands

The world has lost a phenomenal actor and gentle soul.

Julian Sands went missing in early January whilst going on a hike. His body has only just been found now in late June, 2023. He was 65 years old.

Along with many, many others, I am deeply saddened by his passing. The only positive thing is that his body has been recovered. I’ve been hoping for the last few months that this would be the case. At least his family can have some form of closure now.

This is a terrible tragedy that I truly wish had not happened.

But, to honour Mr. Sands, I thought I’d briefly go over a few of his films that I’ve seen and highlight the amazing range that he had.

Boxing Helena (1993)

I first became aware of Julian Sands a few years ago when I saw this film.

Directed by Jennifer Lynch, Boxing Helena tells that story of Nick (Sands) and his obsession with one-night-stand Helena (Sherilyn Fenn). After an accident makes her dependent on him, we explore Nick’s psyche and how far he’s willing to go to keep Helena with him.

This is a film that will not appeal the everyone unfortunately, but I’d still highly recommend you see it. It’s a brilliant picture with many layers and at the centre is Julian Sands and his amazing performance.

Nick’s character is heads over heals obsessed with Helena, despite her outright stating she has no interest in him. She’s quite cold to Nick for most of the film, and you can understand why. However, for Nick, that coldness is incentive to try harder for her affections. He ensures she has to rely on him for everything because he “loves” her and wants to keep her for himself.

This showcases Julian Sands’ range as an actor. He has done many serious performances throughout his career, but for me this one is special. Nick is kind of a sad person and even a tad pathetic at times. But you never lose track of why he’s like that.

He’s emotional and even intimidating when need be. It’s a comparatively softer character than some of his other work, but Nick still stands out as a sympathetic and sometimes abhorrent character - played to absolute excellence by Julian Sands.

Warlock (1989)

Directed by Steve Miner, Warlock follows Julian Sands as the titular villain who travels from the 17th century to the 20th in order to end the world. As you do. Along the way he is pursued by Redferne (Richard E. Grant), who follows him from the past, & Kassandra (Lori Singer), a modern woman caught up in the dangerous medieval magic.

This is a good film, and it’s one of the biggest things Julian Sands is known for (the others undoubtedly being Room With A View (1985), Gothic (1986) and to a lesser extent Argento’s Phantom of the Opera (1998)) Not without reason, either.

Julian Sands is excellent in this, playing a cold hearted and cruel sadist of a character. The definition of evil. He’s very direct and at times his menacing stare does most of the talking. He brings a presence that few could ever hope to match.

From the first moment you see him, you know he’s bad news. A complete one-eighty to Boxing Helena.

I for one was quite surprised to see him in this role, having known him primarily for that film. He disappears into this terrifying, yet not outright scary, role. Rocking the long-hair-ponytail look, Julian Sands will make you fear magic and what it’s (and, by extension, he’s) really capable of.

Warlock II: The Armageddon (1993)

Directed by Anthony Hickox, the sequel follows the eponymous Warlock (Sands) as he is resurrected into the 90s (oh no!) and once again sets off on a quest to obtain mystical macguffins so he can put an end to the world as we know it. While that’s going on we follow a group of good warlocks that aren’t Julian Sands who must ready for the coming evil.

This film does away with the seriousness of the first and just about loses its damn mind with how crazy it can get. But if you’ve seen Hickox’s other works such as Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) & the Waxwork films (1988 & 1992, respectively), you’ll probably be used to the amount of darkly wacky he puts into his pictures.

The lore is almost completely revamped in terms of the Warlock and he’s after. Plus, the expansion of other magic practitioners is interesting in theory, but the result for the latter is underwhelming.

Julian Sands, however, is magnificent. This is a bit of a lesser product compared to the first, but you can’t tell that from his performance alone. I feel like you get way more of him in this one (kinda rocking his Boxing Helena look a little bit, no surprise considering it was probably filmed around the same time). You follow the Warlock as he interacts with the modern world and it’s inhabitants, tracking down mystical stones that will bring about the end of the world once assembled.

The character feels more accessible too for modern times, in terms of his presentation and demeanour. So this means there’s less medieval speak and more one-liners. Also seems like they ramped up the sexiness too at times.

The movie is much sillier than it’s predecessor, but it’s goofy fun. And you have Julian Sands dispatching people in increasingly gruesome and creative ways. Very Wishmaster (1997), with the vibe of Wishmaster II: Evil Never Dies (1999). His performance remains intimidating and cruel, but all around less cold.

Tale of a Vampire (1992)

Directed by Shimako Sato, Tale of a Vampire follows Alex (Sands) as he finds reprieve from his lonely existence in the form of Anna (Suzanna Hamilton), a kind librarian. However, all is not well as parts of his past, and his bloodlust, come back to haunt him.

This seems to have been released direct to video and, call me crazy, may have been capitalising on another vampire film that came out the exact same year. Even this film’s poster shares some similarities. Although, Julian Sands was apparently in talks to play Lestat instead of Tom Cruise, so there’s another connection. At the moment, you can find this film on YouTube (VHS rip).

Setting that aside, this is an interesting film that I don’t believe gets talked about much. It won’t change your life and I don’t think it quite gets across its ideas perfectly, but Julian Sands’ performance, as ever, is brilliant. You believe he’s been around for ages and has never been able to keep a love for himself. We get flashbacks concerning a previous companion throughout the film as Alex tries to get close to Anna in the present. There is a type of warmth that Julian Sands brings to the role, whilst also maintaining the lonesome chill of a corpse. You get a sense of confliction from him as the film goes on - whether to pursue Anna or leave her be; damn her or let her go.

Edgar Allen Poe’s ‘Annabel Lee’ also features in the film, so the idea of youth and love lost are meant to be front and centre.

There is still an element of danger to Julian Sands’ character. The film doesn’t shy away from the fact that he’s still undead and thus, must consume fresh blood. ((Special warning to all cat lovers, by the way.)) He even has a brief flash of harming Anna due to his nature and personal feelings towards her.

You feel his pain and it’s a shame that Julian Sands didn’t play more vampires, or had roles like this. Or maybe he did and I just don’t know about them. Either way he was great in this role.

Arachnophobia (1990)

Directed by Frank Marshall, Arachnophobia follows a doctor (Jeff Daniels) and his family who move to a town that is soon besieged by tons of lethal spiders. As the death toll rises, it’s a race against the clock to stop the eight-legged menace from killing everyone there.

Julian Sands has a smaller role here compared to the previous films mentioned, but he is still important and does serve as the catalyst for everything. He plays Dr. James Atherton, who is studying an undiscovered type of spider that, of course, makes it back to a populated area and spawns off a deadly chain of events.

The film itself is fun and Julian Sands is a great, somewhat pompous, doctor who can be very dismissive of those around him. Very British and very passionate about his work.

Though, of course, he does not survive the film. The big hoss spider gets him. Then again, he did declare himself as “supper”. And when you see his body, it’s pretty gnarly. He’s covered in webbing with spiders crawling all over him. Real spiders. No CGI. That alone increased my respect for him one-hundred fold when I saw it.

From unhinged sap to scary villain to lonesome creature to apathetic doctor to even romantic lead, Julian Sands led a varied and fascinating career. He seemed unafraid to attempt any role and did so with impressive commitment and astounding results.

The world has lost a great talent that will never be forgotten.

RIP Julian Sands, we will all miss you dearly.

[allhailthe70shousewife]

I am choosing to believe that if you asked the four people in the front how many people posed for this photo that day they would all say, “Just the four of us. We don’t know who that guy is. Never saw him that day.”

[parrishh]

about to write the world's longest post (a review? maybe?) because i don't know anyone else who has read mister impossible yet and if i do not write my thoughts down SOMEWHERE i will either combust or eat my own foot, probably (spoilers, obviously)

genuinely brokenhearted (and cried a lot) over ronan in this book. part of what i loved so much about cdth was the sense that ronan had at least made some progress in regards to his mental health, self-love, etc. and now we're seeing him in such a dark place again that it hurts to read. it was sad enough believing, for almost the entire book, that he was blindly idolizing bryde for this reason (declan's "ronan is a follower" speech in the cafe with carmen actually killed me), and i thought maggie was just going for the whole "unhappy people are more susceptible to cults" thing. but to find out that he MADE bryde? that he felt so alone and so hopeless that he dreamt THAT? this read like some sort of super-villain origin story. i know ronan believes he's doing the right thing, saving dreamers and dreams and all that, but at the core of it all he's really doing it because bryde told him to, and bryde only exists because ronan subconsciously hates his life so much he'll do whatever it takes to make himself a new one. that just makes me incredibly sad

uhhhhhhhh bad day for pynch stans. we didn't technically get the dreaded break up, but it feels like we did anyway. even the sweet moments (e.g. ronan's memory of adam's gloves) are immediately followed up by something sad (e.g. the memory not being enough to keep ronan from sticking with bryde) (also, fletcher tells the moderators that they're broken up, so does that mean adam told all his college friends he's single?) there are several moments in which ronan makes it very clear that he will (and does) prioritize what he's doing with bryde over his relationship with adam (hanging up on him at the end? what the fuck) and like, i'm definitely not saying his boyfriend should be the #1 most important thing in his life because that's not healthy, either, but the dude is clearly very unhappy & insecure in the relationship. i still think (hope?) that they'll get a happy ending because ronan definitely cares about adam deeply (not wanting bryde to say the word tamquam, keeping adam out of his dreamspace so he doesn't lose harvard, etc.) but things are looking pretty grim right now :/

adam loves ronan so much it makes me crazy. he could easily say "fuck this" after ronan doesn't speak to him for weeks, especially knowing that ronan's capable of reaching out because he still talks to declan and especially after being blocked from ronan's dreamspace, too. i would be pissed if i heard from my bf for the first time in weeks and found out he only called because he needed a place where he & the guy he ditched me for could crash. but adam still spends the free time i'm sure he doesn't actually have keeping tabs on ronan and reaching out to declan and pretty much doing everything in his power to help. and oh my god even after ronan hangs up on him we still see him scrying to try to get to him and i need to move on now before i scream (but first, declan lynch = #1 pynch stan??? the number of times he mentions adam when thinking about the things he wants ronan to keep safe, help me)

speaking of adam, i had to put the book down and take a lap after his first appearance. i cannot believe this boy is charging harvard kids for fake tarot readings and making hella cash off of it. KING. genuinely some fantastic adam content in this. i love that he talks to the gray man. i love that we are reminded that he's literally brilliant. but also, he makes me sad, too. when declan mentions how ronan is the ONE person who adam opens up to and how all of his harvard groupies are just "ducklings"........honey, i love you, please, please, please make some real friends

hennessy's pov also breaks my heart. it's maybe even worse to read than ronan's because she's fully aware of how unhappy she is and the bluntness of it slaps you across the face. the memory of her mom's painting was genuinely chilling (the lace pattern on the floor - was that how the Lace started? am i understanding that correctly?) and the fact that it was so dreadful she accidentally made a sweetmetal....poor hennessy :( also, the things she said to jordan, right after she made half a dozen real ass people crash their cars and didn't even bat an eye about it....yikes. i'm glad she teamed up with carmen and liliana, though. i love my team of wlw girlies (also really interesting that carmen/liliana believe the Lace is something out of hennessy's control while ronan/bryde believe it's something she can get rid of if she just tries hard enough. what the fuck is the Lace, it's driving me nuts)

CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS

jordan's pov!!!!!!! delicious, finally some good fucking food!!!!!!! i'm happy that she's starting to see herself as her own person, independent of hennessy, and the whole forgery/original work metaphor was really cool (her first original work being a portrait of declan 🥺🥺🥺) i loooooove her relationship with matthew and how she speaks to him and that they're able to connect with each other because they're both dreams. i love that she's able to make him feel more human

JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS (but i'm even more hung up on declan just casually talking about MARRIAGE, oh my GOD)

declan my beloved....my sweet......absolutely obsessed with him saying "screw politics, i'm leaning into my crime side" and OBSESSED with him being happy for once. i know the other shoe did drop and now things are all messed up again but it was so nice to see him so content, at least for a little while. he needed a break (also was laughing my ass off at all of ronan's dream creatures just climbing onto his bed in the morning and his screaming and how matthew was so used to it he BRUSHED HIS TEETH before going to help. iconic)

matthew's pov was also really upsetting but 🥺him deciding he's tired of just being treated like a pet and that he deserves to have a future so he goes to sign himself up to finish high school 🥺

quick note but the whole sweetmetal thing is really interesting as a concept. loooooved the way maggie incorporated the gardner museum heist into the story

THE ENDING???? WHY THE FUCK IS JORDAN AWAKE. WHY THE FUCK IS RONAN STILL ASLEEP. WAS ADAM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF SCRYING WHEN THE LEY LINE DISAPPEARED, AND, IF SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIM. WHY ARE LITERALLY ALL THE MODERATORS DREAMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

[misterywaren]

My Chaotic Reread Of Cdth

I’m rereading Cdth and the emotional roller coaster I’m on has me going on Tumblr and ranting as a read, hopefully someone can relate.

SPOILERS!!!  MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS!!  (Disclaimer: It’s long)

All quotes belong to Call Down The Hawk By Maggie Stiefvater!

Welcome to today’s session of “I’m a train wreck of a reading person”!

“Lock tapped the time of Nathan Farooq-Lane’s death into his phone.”   Pg 10

Dangerous dreamers, fun.  Killing your own sibling with an obsession with blades, so much fun.

“Ronan Lynch was about to end the world.”   Pg 11

Rereading this makes me laugh, it’s so funny that one POV is like “Oh no we have to find the Zed who wants to end the world asap” and meanwhile insert Ronan Lynch: I’m about to end the world.  Slow down Lynch, we’re only on chapter 2 and I haven’t had my sip of coffee yet.

“Ronan missed him like a lung” Pg 17

Idk man, this is what I call quality romance, if you don’t miss your lover like a lung you’re doing something wrong.

“Please.” Pg 32

If you know, you know.

“You smell like home.” Pg 35

My heart, awe

Okay, when RONAN DOESN’T MENTION NOAH, I HURT.  For real, I read those theories dhuiehuefhefuheui

““Don’t kill anyone.”  The words were only an excuse to breathe in Ronan’s ear; it made a marvel of his nerve endings.” Pg 39

ADAM YOU FLIRT-

*reads the fight-not a fight part* *closes book* *walks out the front door* we’re gonna buy Adam Parrish a cup of self-worth. (Pg 44)

“I want it too much.” Pg 46

....and murder crabs 

“Now who’s the little bitch?” Pg 73

Ah, yes, the moment I fell in love with Hennessy.

“Nightwash” Pg 76

Okay, ngl when I first read this my mind was like: mouthwash Now I’m like: The name is perfect 

“Is there any version of you that could come with me to Cambridge? No” Pg 76

jwhdjshsbhjfv 

“You are made of dreams and this world is not for you.” Pg 77

Oh you- ~ The text messages between Ronan and Gansey are wholesome

“DBAG LYNCH” Pg 87

*Cackles*

Chapter 12 really changed my perspective of Declan and let me tell you, I came out of this book wanting to hug the hell out of Declan- 

“Jordan imagined flinging herself from a roof and flying” Pg 101 

The moment I fell in love with Jordan ~ Parsifal- I- <3

“Bryde, they said” Pg 128

Meanwhile, my brain: Here comes the Bryde 

“The orphans Lynch.” Pg 135

*tears* ~ Declan and Jordan = Yes  (Pg. the whole book) ~ Tbh when Gasey asked if “Badass” was two words or one, I spent 15 minutes thinking about that- but that’s just Gansey, he says something, sends me to question mark nation and then monologues, love him. (Pg. 161) ~ OH MATTHEW YOU INNOCENT I’M SO SORRY FOR WHAT’S COMING FOR YOU- (Pg 160) ~ PARSIFAL T-T (Pg 166) Carmen...ah  (Pg 179) ~ Chapter 28: HOLD ON, HOLD ON ~ PARSIFAL T-T (Pg 195)

““I saved your life because I love you and I was scared [...]”  “I know you.”“ (Pg 204-206)

Yes, that’s all, yes ~ Tyrian purple (Pg 214) ~ YES DECLAN HAPPINESS, H A P P I N E S S (Pg 231) ~ *Insert Adam* *Insert Ronan* *Insert kisses* *Insert my happy tears* I’ll never tire of this scene, never, it’s so, you know? (Pg. 235-237) ~ *insert scrying* *insert scream* there has been a disturbance in the force *insert Ronan holding Adam* disturbance has been demolished (Chapter 39) ~ *insert Adam leaving* :( *insert Adam stalling* :D *insert Ronan feeling alone* :( *Insert kisses goodbye* :D  (Chapter 41)

“You are the most expensive thing I have ever saved” Pg 267

And this is the moment where I stared at the page for 5 minutes just loving this line ~ *Insert Ronan saving Hennessy* "THAT’S MY SON!” I yelled into the abyss/at my bedroom wall. (chapter 44) ~ *the matthew scene* You know the first time I read this I was in class and I was sobbing.  No matter how many times I read it, I die, can someone stop me from throwing myself out a window?  Please, it hurts. (Pg. 312) ~ *the matthew to ronan scene* Hahahaha haha ha *channels inner Neil Josten* I’m fine, totally fine, didn’t have my heart ripped out of my chest, NOPE (Pg. 316) ~ Chapter 56, I bow down to you, you’re amazing. ~ When Ronan said “my boyfriend” I screeched.  (Pg. 357) Ha..WERE GOING ON A TRIP TO OUR FAVOURITE MAGICAL FOREST, SOARING THROUGH DREAMS, IT’S GONNA BE FINE. (What am I doing?) ~ P A R S I F A L (pg. 364) ~ Declan “in case you don’t have internal organs” Lynch. (Pg. 371) Ouuu plot twist (Pg. 373) ~ Living for awkward Declan, you know? ~ Chainsaw and Opal, thank you for gracing me with your presence (Pg. 393) Give the girl some time Lynch, she’s scared (Chapter. 67) ~ (chapter 69) Sing it with me guys “Something good is happening, that can only mean we’re about to get our hearts broken! ay!”  THE PAINTINGS- Oh Declan, hun, you *hugs book* it’s okay, I’m sorry, I love you. ~ The dogs, yes Ronan, yess (pg. 428) ~

“Tamquam. It was marked unread.” -Pg. 458 

Ahahah, didn’t need my heart anyways ~ I reached the end and here I am again yelling at the book to give me answers and crying, it’s great to be alive. ~

Wow you’ve made it to the end (or you scrolled and scrolled and here you are, hello). Hope you enjoyed my rant and reread of this book, I’m a mess, I love this book so much. I loved The Raven Cycle as well and I can’t wait for the next book in this trilogy. Have a wonderful day and stay safe guys! *whisper hisses* MAY COME FASTER 

[cullxtheherd]

oh my god I haven't thought about BtVS in so long fdjsaio tell me some of your Angel/Angelus headcanons (insert eyes emoji here)

jhbjghljkghkfgl; oh my GOD i honestly never stopped loving AtS or BtVS!! bgut i did stop watching originally when Doyle perished cause?? sorry but he is babey and though i do understand why the actor was let go from his role, it's still super upsetting. i hate the episode Hero and also love it to pieces- just watched it yesterday and screamed ALLEN FRANCIS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for just. so long. tbh i was thinking about adopting him as a muse but tbh with you Angel and older 90s/early 00s muses don't get much attention anyways so i haven't yet skdjksds maybe after Harry from Resident Alien later tonight gets added I'll think about it again ksjdksjd. ANYWAYS THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU ASKED FOR KSJDSkfsd ON WITH IT!! just be aware there is no way i can include all the headcanons here so i'll just hlglhkglkhlgk about the ones i can think of asap

𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵

in the show (both buffy & angel) they are constantly telling us through dialogue, scene setting, etc that the reason Angel and (later) Spike hate killing and feeding suddenly is because "killing humans = bad ☹ grr, arrgh." i think it runs deeper than this. i think they are not solely repulsed because it is the morally wrong thing to do. i think they are disgusted in?? an almost obsessive way because of how badly they'd still like to do it despite knowing better and having control over themselves. certain episodes the way Angel and Spike's portrayals go: yes definitely they are giving us that and barely highlighting it. but i really. i don't remember either show ever coming out and saying it outright.

personally i think that the Buffy/Angel romance seems waaaayyy super crazy rushed in the show and i'm not really sure if they/joss even meant it like that! it just really be seeming that way af!!! logically the whole affair lasts about/just shy of three years if we are doing the maths and technically?? it really took 1.5 years before they even did the ol squelchy welch. which lmaooa jksdhkdjsfd can you imagine?? any young adults in a consenting relationship actually waiting that long?? yeah ekjnbswedsdxfks anyways. i just? idk. loved AtS and BtVS very much but his departure seemed super rushed and so did their romance bye sjhdbfs

speaking of?? while i am very much a buffy/angel ship supporter as an adult i do find it so freaking weird he?? was made by Darla in 1898 and theennnn spent 171 motha fuckin years parading around as Angelus- didn't even know about Buffy Summers until he was already 269 (nice) and when acathala SHAT his ass back out he was already 371, she was a juNIOr in higHSCHOOOLPLK ANNNDDD i have a hEAdache i gotta goooOO

no but really i. skhjfjhgf as an adult i am weirded out but?? idk it's one of my childhood ships i gotta pry it from my OWN cold dead hands i guess smh

personally i think Angel keeps trinkets from the people he's saved over the years. and i don't mean at random Investigations via his detective agency or, later, Wolfram & Hart. i mean?? the cases we see like?? the episode 'are you now or have you ever been' that takes us back to the 1950s and the Hyperion Hotel in it's heyday. angel aided a woman named Judy Kovacs- albeit rather reluctantly to try and escape and THEN a literal MOB beat and lynched his ass and thennNNNN, in present time, he fights against the same life-sucking chaos-causing Thesulac demon with his friends/colleagues. after all of this he finds Judy somehow still in her room (214) surviving just a few doors down from his (217) so many years ago just?? waiting. and while canonically the show has Angel in room 312? I disagree. i think he would have taken up residence in 214 or 217...... 214 cause i'm feeling sappy. check his bathroom cabinets i bet you it's got at least a few of her accoutrements living inside.

i think?? despite?? darla not being able to take his soul via the big squelchy that he and Angelus really did care about her- heck!! in the early?? 1900s he DID try to return to her and adapt to her violent way of life he just couldn't do it

while i am?? verryyy willing to write buffy/angel ship stuff i really do think after the events in I Will Remember You it would take a literal set of miracles to get him to even attempt being with Buffy again. i think that while he will always love her no matter what that he has learned that?? things that are or seem too?? good or pure for a creature like him genuinely are. though he is/was the Powers That Be-s-es-es?? ES favorite ensouled boy-toy i really, genuinely do think that a happy ending is just NOT in the cards for our boyo

if buffy wasn't evidence enough of that fact?? cordy. Skip really came and took her just like that. then the whatevers that WHOEVER shat her back out to really just give birth to jasmine and connor and i rrepwsrenbjhdfbskdjnsf worst. season. EVER. i refuse i fucking REFUSE TO EGHV ADBAKJSDFALKFNKSADJF???!?!?!?! i hate it so much. i hate it. so. m u c h. connor and cordy should have never EVER been a thing and i will erase it from history if i have to give birth to myself to do it

𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕝𝕦𝕤

hoo babey. while angel is?? reserved and doesn't?? really mention any kind of explorative or wild side with any regularity in the show this wild child leather-pants-wearing abomination gives NO shits. he is very, VERY pansexual and you can fight my spirit on top of my grave about it.

regarding the last thing i said: there was definitely a polyamorous relationship happening between Angelus, Darla, Spike and Drusilla in my book. there are certain... jealous scenarios- heck!! just LOOK at episodes with Spike where he's being pouty about not getting the proper attention he deserves. if you think this is just about Dru i am begging you to reconsider

also?!?!?!?! PENN?! Penn was so obsessively and grossly in love with Angelus his sire I can not EVEN BEGIN TO FIUBNFDAKJSDFN

i think?? there are times in Angel's day-to-day where he not only misses but craves the presence of Angelus and visa versa. Angelus obviously seems a bit more openly repulsed by his softer side cause like?? each half is SO strongly suited to one extreme and?? as much as Angel and Angelus would both loathe my next statement: two halves do make a whole.

i think that while?? Angel may be cursed with a soul, that's not all. Angelus doesn't have regular control any longer, for sure, but i really do think it is oftentimes a daily battle to tune him out. why?? the orb of thesulah is only used to summon and store a human soul until it is re/tethered to a body. the ritual that the "Gypsies" and Willow performed didn't?? do anything with the actual demon. it didn't send it back to whatever Hell dimension it came from it just?? gave angel a soul- it gave what was left of Liam (O'Connor if you follow fan-lore) control over himself and the demon inhabiting his body. though the show never depicts or portrays this i am willing to bet real money that somewhere, deep down Angelus is on the inside rattling his mirror against the bars screaming: IM HENRY THE EIGTH I AM I AM!!! over and over an over and ov-

angel, however, when not in control seems to go into some semi-mostly dormant state as evidenced by the fact that he was entirely gone during their time in Acathala and relied on solely the demon half to get him through, but?? i'm 56% sure he is there sniveling in the ether when Angelus is driving he's just?? clearly not as strong mentally.

while?? Angel is a very respectable creature who cares about and loves his friends/found family i really do think that Angelus loves NO ONE. i think he cares about a few entities but i do not think he is capable of love proper as we think of it- both shows continuously remind us that number one in Angelus's world is, in fact, Angelus which means...

i doubt he really cares about pleasing his partner/s where that is likely Angel's main objective and lskjdnfjd i really have to go before this gets super raunchy

[blossom862]

Mixed Match Challenge Part 2

Warning(s): Fluff, mentions of drugs, SMUT!

Note: This is my first time writing smut, so please be gentle. 

Word count: 3,682k

Y/W/N: Your Wrestling Name

Alofa: Love

Tag list for this series: @balorollinszayn​ @calwitch​

*** If you are under 18, please do not read this.****

After confessing your feelings to Roman, you guys decided to go out on a date since you both had the remaining week off. During the date, you guys got the chance to get to know each other better and immediately connected. Roman told you that he liked you and he wanted to get to know you more. He also told you that his kids meant the world to him and that he needed to know that you were okay with it.

“Y/N, I just want to know that you are okay with it. My kids are everything to me and the person that chooses to be by my side needs to know that. I know that you don’t have any and that maybe you don’t feel comfortable dating a man that already have children, but I j-“ before he had the chance to proceed with the mini-speech of his, you took his hand onto yours and looked at him with adoration in your eyes.

“Listen, I don’t care if you have kids or that you were married once. I want to be a part of your life. Hell! I want to meet them one day and tell them how amazing their father is.” You told him with a laughed and a quick wink.

“ Where had you’ve been all this time?” And with that said he learned to give you a quick peck on your lips.

After the first date, he took you to many other ones. To the park, to museums, to clubs, and even to your favorite restaurants. He treated you like a princess (and he still treats you like one). Later on, during a live event, he asked you to be his girlfriend. You couldn’t contain your excitement and jumped into his arms while placing multiples kisses all around his handsome face.

“Finally! I thought you never asked.”

All the WWE roster and even the fans know that you guys are dating, after that kiss you gave him after the Mixed Match Challenge, they knew that you guys were going to be an item after that. And they were not wrong.

The Raw roster was currently getting ready for their European tour but during the meantime, Stephanie and Hunter had given everybody a little break. All the wrestlers were busy making their luggage and saying goodbye to their loved ones since they knew they were gonna be gone for at least another 2 months. You were glad to have your boyfriend with you during the tour. He means the world to you and you to him.

You were currently packing and cleaning up your messy room since you barely have time to clean it. Who can judge you? You are always on the road and half the year you are either facing a new opponent or doing interviews.

“You know, I never thought that Y/W/N was such a messy person outside the ring.” 

You didn’t notice when Roman approached you and wrapped his strong arms around your curvy waist. You were so consumed by your thoughts that you couldn’t acknowledge his presence, till now.

Leaning back, you felt his lips against your neck. He was such a lovable a passionate lover. The big dog knew your body better than you did, and that was a surprise. No, you guys haven’t slept together yet, but you guys had done other things other than kissing. You could say he knows what to do with that mouth of his.

“Hmmm, baby. Don’t start something that you can’t continue. You know we need to make sure we have everything we need for this upcoming trip. You know how much I hate procrastination.” You murmured to him while giving him a tender kiss. Gently, he grabbed your chin and proceed to raise your head for you to admire his brown eyes while he spoke.

“Don’t challenge me, sweetheart. Just because we haven’t slept together doesn’t mean I can’t make you see stars. I know your principles and you know mines. I won’t make you do anything that you don’t want. So honey, get your pretty little butt moving and finish packing and when you finish, I’ll guarantee you I’m giving you the best orgasm of your life and you can believe that.” With that said, he planted a fierce but loving kiss on your plump and red lips.

Mesmerized by the sudden gesture, you wrapped your left arm around his neck while pressing your lower back against his. Deepening the kiss, he took the opportunity to turn you around to have your face to face. Both of you were so into the moment that you guys didn’t realize that someone was in the room as well.

“Ugh really? Can’t you guys don’t do that here?” Grounded a masculine voice near the door of your room.

Putting your hands on Roman's chest, you gently pushed him away and disconnected your lips from his.

Clearing his throat, Roman looked at the individual that had entered the room without permission ready to argue.

“Listen, man, haven’t you heard of privacy? Or perhaps knocking?” Roman said while whipping his mouth with his thumb.

“Hey! You guys knew I was here. Next time I’m staying at the hotel.” And with that said, Seth turned around and headed out of the room not before closing the door. 

Jesus! If Seth didn’t interrupt the two of you, you didn’t know if you were gonna stop yourself from jumping and riding him like a madwoman. 

It is not that you were a virgin or anything, but you wanted to wait a little longer before you guys take that big step in the relationship. Before Roman, you were involved with another wrestler. He always was there for you, he supported you and encourage you to be better in everything you set your mind to. Everything was going amazing for the both of you, the WWE universe knew that you guys were together and you were the “IT” couple long before Maryse and The Miz were.

Sadly, after being involved with each other for so long, you discovered that he was cheating on you with one of the WWE interviewers. After the scandalous breakup, he decided to publish online some intimate photos that you had sent to him when you guys were dating. You were devasted in such a way that you almost turned to drugs. If it wasn’t for Seth and your brother, you didn’t know if you were able to go through it. After that, you swear to never send pics or be intimate with someone else after getting to know the person and had at least waited a year.

You talked to Roman about it and to your surprise, he took it well.

“Baby girl, I’m not going to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. If you want to wait a year or even two, I would wait as long as you want. That doesn’t take the fact that I want to be with you. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to make love to you as soon as possible, but if you are not ready, then we won’t. I’ll wait as long as I have to because I like you.”

Roman was a true gentleman and you were lucky to have him in your life. 

“Well, I think that is my clue to finish packing. Oh god, who I am lying to? I want you so bad it physically and mentally hurts.” You growled while giving him a sad smile. You were so desperate to be in his arms and give yourself to the man standing next to you. 

Taking a couple of steps towards you, Roman tugged a curl behind your ear while kissing the top of your nose. Taking a deep breath, you wrapped your small arms around his waist while bitting your lower lip.

“Oh, baby girl you don’t have any idea how much I’m trying to control myself. Is impossible to not touch you whenever you are near. When I’m with you, I feel like a horny teenager again.” He spoke while laughing and kissing your shoulder. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were currently putting your wrestling gear and preparing yourself for your match against Becky Lynch. After your long-time rivalry with Sasha Banks, Stephanie decided to give you a shot to become the next WWE Raw Women Champion. You were so excited about the opportunity and it didn't matter that you were facing Seth’s Rollins girlfriend. Every single person who comes to the WWE has one goal in mind, and that is to become Champion. 

“Baby girl, are you ready to kick some ass?” Shouted Roman while entering the private dressing room that you both shared.

After announcing that you guys were partners, Hunter decided to give you guys a separate and private dressing room. He told you that the majority of the couples had their own. Roman had a smirk the entire time Hunter was talking to the both of you.

Lacing your knee-length boots, you proceed to answer his previous question with a happy “hell yeah” and with a small giggle.

Seating down in the bench that was located next to you, he placed his left hand in your left butt-cheek without caring.

“I cannot wait to see you held that title in your hands. You deserve that title opportunity.” He whispered against your ear. Giving you a small slap in your behind. He took your hand in his and carefully gave you a long kiss on your lips.

Following his lead, you deepen the kiss while caressing his long and glamorous mane. Sliding one of your hands under his shirt, you proceeded to caress his chest. Taking the hint, he took his shirt off and trowed it behind his back. 

“Hmm, you are so damn handsome” you whispered against his chest. You deposited some small pecks against his chest while looking at him with your big Y/E/C. He places his hand against your rebel curls and tugged gently. 

“Y/N, alofa. I’m so hard right now.” He spoke while patting softly.

Giving him a small smirk, you sensually kneed in front of him. Slowly, you started to run your hands all over his enormous and manly thighs. You were obsessed with the man’s thighs. Just the thought of having your pussy against his thighs is enough to make you wet.

Looking at him through your long eyelashes, you noticed how excited Roman was getting. Unzipping his dark pants and pulling them down, you started to careless him through his Calvin Klein boxers.

“Hmm, Y/N. If you keep doing that I’m not going to last much longer. Baby please, do something.” Protested the big dog while desperately shoving his clothe member right in your face. Giggling, you decided that it was time to stop playing games and take action. After giving his member a small peck, which made Roman moaned, you release him from his underwear and started to massage him. Gently but with a firm grip, you started to pump his dick.

“Oh, g-god ba-by girl. Yes, just like t-that.” Whispered Roman while throwing his head back. 

After making sure he was hard as a rock, you decided to take the next step and put your mouth to great use. Taking his tip in your mouth, you started to suck him softly. Moans were all you could hear all around the dressing room. Stroking and bobbling his member as fast as you could, you were determined to make him cum.

You were so turned on that you started to touch yourself. Pulling down your tight wrestling shorts, you slid your unoccupied hand under your panties. Teasing your clit with your middle finger, you started to moan against his dick.

You tried to take him all the way, but the man was so damn big that you had to wrap and pump your fingers on the parts that your mouth could not take. 

“Oh shit, Y-y/N, I’m gonna........ FUCK” his head tilted back and his mouth agape when he released into your mouth. Small moans were coming out of your plump lips

Watching him come undo before you was enough to make you start moaning. Rapidly, you started to touch your clit and inserted two fingers in order to make yourself cum. You felt two big hands caressing your curly hair.

“Stop baby girl. I want to be the one to make you cum.” The strong man took your busy hand in his and slowly started to suck on your dripping fingers. After a couple of minutes of sucking and tasting your nectar, he releases your fingers with a loud and sensual “pop”.

A small “fuck, you taste so good.” came out of his mouth.

You couldn’t take it anymore and started to take off your top. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you position yourself to ride him as fast as you could. Tonight was the night that you would let yourself lose. You needed him and you were gonna take some action.

“Wait, baby. Are you sure you want our first time to be like this? Don’t you want to wait for a little more ?” Asked Roman while pulling you gently away from him to look at you in the eyes.

You could see that he was nervous but at the same time, he was filled with lust. You couldn’t judge him, he was a man after all.

“I’ve never been so sure in my life. I want you and I want you right now. Make me cry, daddy.” That was the key that helped you release the big dog. Taking you in his huge arms, he turned you over and made you stand in front of him with your back towards him. He positions you in a way that had you stretch for him. Both of your hands were against the lookers, one of your legs was on top of the bench, and your ass was press against his lower abdomen.

You felt his hand caressing your lower back with such love and determination to make you feel good.

You turned your head around to see what was taking him so long. You were desperate to be close to him. You were going to protests but before you could even say anything, he pulled your shorts down and without any words he slowly but gently stated to enter you.

“Ooh.... y-yes. Just like that baby.” You moaned while making eye contact with Roman. You had never felt this kind of pleasure before. Yes, you had sex with your previous partner, but it was nothing compared to this.

With each passing minute, he started to pick up his speed and before you know it he was making you see stars.

“Yes... omg yes. Ugh.....pull my hair, Ro. Use me, destroy me.” You shouted while wrapping your hands on his neck.

Instead of getting a reply back, he took your chin in his hand and gave you a desperate but passionate kiss. It took you a minute to identify the sudden pressure in your lower abdomen. You were about to cum any minute now. Pulling away from the kiss, you looked at him in the eyes before telling him that you were about to come.

“Ugh, n-not yet. I-I want to cum with you. T-together. Let’s cum together Y/N.”

“I’m coming.... fuck I’m coming so hard.” You told him while touching and giving your breast the attention they craved.

“Oh fuck, yes. Touch yourself, baby. Ugh, I’m coming soon.” And with that said, you both orgasm together.

“Oh FUCK! ROOOO.”

You only heard him let out a loud groan before pulling out of you and before you could register what was happening, you felt his cum in your ass cheeks.

“Jesus, your low key makes me feel like I’m in my twenties again. What did you do to me woman?”

Letting out a tired laugh, you gave him one last kiss before giving him a loving hug.

“I love you so much, Roman.”

“I love you too sweetheart. You don’t know how much I love you.”

——————————

“Weighting Y/W pounds, accompanied by Roman Reigns, from Y/C. Y/W/N!”

The cameraman gave you the signal for you to get out to the main arena.

Roman was holding your hand while waving to the crowd. You couldn't have asked for more support than the one you were receiving at that moment. Your fans we're going insane plus your boyfriend was being so supportive.

Once settling in the ring, you waited for your opponent with your favorite Samoan next to you.

”Relax baby girl, you are gonna be just fine. Take a deep breath.” whispered Roman while caressing your delicate face.

Whoa

Whoa

Whoa

Hey!Hey!hey

”And her opponent, from Dublin, Ireland. Accompany by the Architect, she is the Raw Women's Champion, The Man”

With great determination, Becky walks down towards the ring with a serious look on her face. If looks could kill you'll be dead already by the look she gave you once in the ring.

Seth and Roman were both looking intensely at each other while supporting their girlfriends which were about to face each other for the Championship.

Becky took several steps toward you and held her Women's Championship high in the air. Your noses we're touching and if it wasn't for Roman that gave you a quick tug you probably would have started the fight right away.

”This fight is for the Raw Women's Championship. The challenger, from Y/H/T, Y/N!” shouted Jojo with a big smile on her face.

You turned around and gave the crowd a big wink while doing your signature pose in which Becky rolled her eyes.

”The defender, she is the Raw Women's Champion, Becky Lynch.” with that said she gave you a challenging look and made her way to the robes in which she raised the championship hire.

”I’m your damn Champion!” she shouted to the loud crowd.

Once she made her way to her corner, Roman gave you a quick peck on the lips and made his way down to the ring not before giving Seth a ”you better not get involved” look.

Once the bell ring, Becky took you from your curls and gave you a hard punch in your abdomen. It took you a minute to recover from it, but once you were capable of acknowledging your surroundings, you pushed yourself up.

The woman was laughing at you while looking at you with pity in his malicious eyes.

“AWWWWW, look at her. She thinks she the best of the best because she dating “The Big Dog”. She shouted at you while approaching you.

She thought that she had the upper hand, but before she could throw another punch at you, you decided to do something crazy that could help you win for sure. You wanted to finish as soon as possible and take the Raw Women’s Champion home with you.

Taking her by surprise, you performed one of her moves, “the Exploder Suplex” and later on you played dirty and performed her signature move “ Dis-arm-her”.

The crowded was going insane and Seth tried to distract the referee by climbing over the ropes, but Roman took him by his shirt and performed a DDT to him.

“Come on BECKY!!!! Tappppp. Your streak is over. I’m the next champion.” You screamed at him with great fury.

“AGH!!!” she protested but the pain was too much and even someone like The Man could not handle it.

Without any words, she gave you the nastiest glance and proceed to rapidly tap.

With that said, the announcer announced the victory while the referee took you by the shoulders in order to separate you from the Irish woman.

“The winner of this match and the NEW RAW WOMEN’S Championship, Y/W/N!”

Giving you the title, the referee abandoned the ring while Roman climbed over the ring.

“I’m so proud of you baby!” He told you while wrapping his arms around you.

You couldn’t be so proud of your accomplishment.

“How do you feel right now?” Asked Jojo while resting her left arm on your shoulders. She was one of your closes friends in the company. You could see how proud she was of you for winning the Raw Women’s Championship.

Trying to stop your patting, you looked up from the title to her.

“Well Jo, you know how hard I’ve been working to have this opportunity. Since I was a little girl I always had a vision of not only becoming champion but also inspire people to achieve their dreams. So I’m standing right here and I’m looking at every single one of this amazing crowd here tonight and I’m filled with so much happiness right now. This year had been filled with so many blessings and positive things that had changed my life for the better. I started dating this amazing and handsome as hell man standing next to me. And now, I’m the new Raw Women’s Champion. What else can I wish for?” When you said that, the crowd started to cheer.

Roman wrapped his arms around you while giving you a delicate kiss in your head.

“Y/W/N, I gotta say, I’ve never seen you this happy before. I’m so happy that you had found the right person for you. Before letting you go celebrate tonight’s victory with your boo, I had to say that you’ve had inspired so many people through your journey here in the WWE. As a friend and as a woman myself, from behalf of all of the women here present, I’m thanking you for demonstrating how far women had come in the wrestling business. We love you and I couldn’t have been more proud of you love.”

All around you all you could hear from the crowd was a chorus of “You deserve it!” And “Who's the Man now?”

“That’s right! My baby girl is the NEW Women’s Champion and I couldn't be so proud.” With that said, he wrapped his strong arms around you and gave you an intense kiss. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOOOOWWWW!!! That was intense as hell!! I gotta said it took me a while to finish this because I’ve been having some writer’s block. Anyway, like I always said, I apologize for any grammar errors and I hope you guys liked the final part of this short-short story. Also, my ask is always open and ready to write some new imagines.

*This story is mine, I don’t give permission to post it on another social media. I spend a lot of time on it.

[mleighsquickspot]

M'L Answer's

Hello Inter People, Good day to you all. Thank you for all your Much Love and support you all make me very happy that I do what I do. I hope you've been enjoying the Thought Provoking Questions as well as my writings, I keep trying to mix things up. It's still not to late this is the last week to take part in my July Patreon Special Offer of "Summer Thinking or Thoughts". Also if you become a $1.00 patron you will get full access to writings and other gifts only seen on Patreon along with what you already get here. Have a blessed day and week my friends 😊💗.

Here are my thoughts on last week's questions...

Tuesday, I asked about the on going craziness that's hit the world or the US. Lynchings in California are they crazy. All these people using their cars to run over protesters. Walking up and just shooting people in the open with no care in the world is happening more... Etc. I really think we all need to calm down a bit. Yes, the pretests are a very good thing calling for change. Yet, how the wrong folks are choosing to handle their anger right now is sickening, disheartening and scary. We all really need to stop fighting each other and really come together under one roof. We don't have to totally agree on everything, but the way to deal with those who don't share your views is not to kill them, My God!

Thursday, Thought Provoking Questions: See previous post for more...

36. Failing or never trying which is worse? I think never trying is worse because at least if you fail you can say you tried. If you don't try you always have the nagging wonder in your mind and heart.

37. It's weird but I do take time each day to listen to my breathing. It tells me in a way if I need to stop for a moment and calm down. If in do need to stop I then do some breathing exercises to calm my heart beat. It really does help.

38. Something I know I do differently from others is put salt on my little store bought pizza's. I don't know why it just makes them taste better to me lol, I know it's weird, oh well.

39. To me the "American Dream" is just a phrase that right now sadly has very little meaning. I am glad to live in my country, but with our current state we need to do much better than we are. What's going on is tragic to me.

40. Worried genius or Joyful Simpleton, which would I rather be neither. They both sound like an awful state of being for the human mind. I like to have knowledge on different subjects but I don't need to obsess about any one topic either.

Sunday, I asked a few questions here. I love the Black Lives Matter murals that are all over, it's sad to see them being defaced. I don't agree with refunding the police, rather just model it after other countries where it requires more education and training to become one in this country. As for the election, I don't know how it will go. I know how I will vote. But either way it goes I just hope a competent person comes up next to be our commander and chief, if not then things I feel will just get worse for our world.

Let me know what you think and pass the thought along.

Much Love to all those on the front lines still going strong. Stay well and safe Inter World 💗. Also stay safe all who are out protesting and fighting for change in the Black Lives Matter movement at this time.

Become a patron $1 and get access to exclusive work and special offers. Go to www.patreon.com/mleighsquickspot for more, Much Love to you all and let’s keep growing together my friends.

[wellntruly]

THE NEW POPE - 1x06

Peak waiting for Agent Cooper in Twin Peaks: The Return, peak David Lynch in many ways actually. Artistically there was a lot I enjoyed here! But emotionally, we’ve gotten rather glum haven’t we! But that is probably the point: I’d said to my Pope Show work friend, I said: “the seventh episode, that’s when I’d bring Lenny back,” and I won that bet.

Sorry to this episode, but it was aaaalll about the Next! Time! On!

New Pope Live-Bloggin’ No. 6

I guess it’s about time this show introduced a priest with a piratical eye patch

I’m shrieking, the Vibe of this scene….! me approximately every seventh minute of a Paolo Sorrentino project, at full volume: “I LOVE ART”

What the Fuck!

Same Sofia!!!

Eye patch priest, holding a limp green bean he has picked up from Sofia’s plate, speaking slowly like a cowboy: “They’re all distortions of love. Hysteria, of one sort or another.” I was unready for any of this.

He is so uncomf-inducing, and his name is LEOPOLD ESSENCE

A cockroach just scurried from his hand into his cuff and Sofia saw it!! Is this his dæmon???! Crossover crossover!

What, what, omg who does he consider the most intelligent man in the world? I mean the answer to that question would tell us...so much about him.

Holy shit the Abbess tapping her foot, smoking one of her cigars, listening to the nuns’ dance song coming through the ceiling!!! Obsessed forever with how this season’s credits both do not and do occur in the world of the show. Few things I’ve seen are more graceful at holding all of these realities at once, letting them all be true, and somehow not contradictory. I Love Art.

Yesss Abbess dancing tooooo

I think that might have been my favorite version credits yet. I loved the early transition into the Gregson Bach that then took us into Lenny’s room. I’d had this thought a while back that if the nuns’ revolution became a major plot, a cool thing to do would be if/when other characters started siding with them, they got added to the dance. And this had an element of what I liked about that, the idea that the dance credits can be affected by the tides of this world. And Lenny’s time is coming, so he began to sneak into the credits earlier this week, with a different sound. LOVED IT.

Wait girl is making $15,000 a visit? But she’s not even a professional sex worker! How has she arranged this high of pay! 

What on earth is happening in this scene!! God this episode is so Dramatic!

“Do you know what the difference is, between a whore and a saint?” [Esther shakes her head] “None.” [music kicks in as the mother slides the check over]

I like when the dancing girl realizes they’re all passed out so drops her arms & her sexy face, and now just looks like a woman finishing up her job for the day

[giggling] All these Fathers just silently gesturing you into the farther room. If this is what video games were I would play them. I just want to navigate into a quiet opulent space and eventually come upon Voiello, who is waiting for a piece of information I am bringing him, and then gives me a riddle.

Sorry about your hubs, Sofia :(

“A certain threesome who are operating in a decidedly opaque manner.” No one speaks like Voiello I fucking adore him

I like the bug song, it’s unsettling. It is the same one they’re using for the millipedes too right, if I’m not mistaken?

You are a weak pope Brannox! Voiello is so much more powerful than Spalletti, just tell Voiello what’s going on and he can fix it! Or wait, oh we did see that one of them has something on Voiello didn’t we….oh I’m sure he can get something worse.

I like Sofia conferring with Voiello on what to do. I like them as a team.

Voiello going around checking everything off his list before he’s forced to resign IS. A. DELIGHT. Banishing the corrupt Hernandez! Taking care of all the nuns’ problems for them in such kind ways! Getting them help and supporting them, advising them to carry on with their battle against his successor! HE’S THE BEST OF YOU ALL, @THE VATICAN

I like the wind STORMING outside as Esther strips for all the other disfigured young men, in the house where it is always night

Oh incidentally, @versaphile​ I imagine this is what you were referring to! It’s….something, I’m not sure what. I agree with Gavia and Morgan that Paolo Sorrentino’s interest in characters with physical disabilities feels very like David Lynch’s, this being just one of a number of ways their work reminds me of each other. I’m torn! It could be a bit exploitive, to just use these men for Ester’s plot (we do not get much, if any of their perspectives). But at the same time, at least they are actually in a plot, instead of the common tendency in media to ignore that people with these sorts of struggles exist. They are kept very much in shadow, which feels deliberately metaphorical.

Every time Lenny shows up smiling beatifically in white, I just lose it

Holy shit Ester what!!! Is this for real!!!!!

Heheheh, Lenny brought her back to life. Nice mirror of when the twitch of his pinkie finger killed Tomasso. Also: RULES that this is the first time we ever see this big rich house in the daylight.

Ohh, they were skiing, John and Adam, when Adam died. That’s why that interlude with the cross slalom.

Interesting, their doing so much with just the camera work to indicate Brannox’s sudden weird faltering

There’s like a running train in the background of the mix..

Alex and I had guessed heroin, were we correct then? Also, were there any other signs of withdrawal or? I don’t know if this was set up enough! Like, that box could just as easily have contained a golden orb that took us to another realm, that is how Lynchian all this has gotten.

I gasped at the fucking candle going out

Then I gasped again at the lights!!

!!!!!

- - - - -

The New Pope: First Episode, Second Episode, Third Episode, Fourth Episode, Fifth Episode

The Young Pope: Masterpost

[timeagainreviews]

Twin Peaks s01e01 “Traces to Nowhere”

Happy New Year, and welcome back to Twin Peaks, friends. Before we dive further into the mystery of Laura Palmer, I would like to tell you about my friend Jason. Jason was a pal of mine in high school. We used to hang out, listen to music, watch TV, and smoke. He lived with his girlfriend at the time who was also my friend. This may sound sappy, but around these two, I genuinely felt like the best version of myself. I miss those days incredibly. Jason also happened to be the first person to ever introduce me to Twin Peaks. One night, he and a friend were watching the movie as I came over to buy a bag. On that day, I discovered what was to become my newest obsession, one of which would stick with me for the next eighteen years of my life. Sadly, Jason and I fell out of contact and we lost track of one another.

I mention this because I recently heard through a mutual friend that Jason died two years ago. I'll not go into the details, suffice it to say, it was too soon. I always wanted to track him down to say hello, and now I'll never get the chance. While my friendship with Jason was immensely rewarding, one of the most persistent things he left me with was a love for Twin Peaks. Much of my personal philosophy comes from Twin Peaks, and it continues to inform the person I am today. If it weren't for Jason, I wouldn't be me. Therefore, I would like to dedicate this article in his memory. To Jason Walton- My friend in the stars.

Thank you for allowing me that moment, friend. Now if you remember, we left off on kind of a spooky note. Through some sort of line of sight, Sarah Palmer was given a vision of a gloved hand retrieving James' half of the heart necklace from where he and Donna had buried it. Dale Cooper, after a long day of detection, has turned in for a night of sleep at the Great Northern hotel, which is exactly where today's episode begins.

I've read in the past that you can tell right away when David Lynch is directing, or in this case, when he isn't directing. This is not a complaint about director Duwayne Dunham's work, but there is a clear departure from the slow wave of emotions that permeates the pilot episode. However, the more straightforward procedural pacing works much to the episode's credit. Being written by David Lynch and Mark Frost, this episode is drenched in Twin Peaks tones and textures. I'd go as far as to say Dunham does a damn fine job following the hard act that is David Lynch.

We start with a pan across Cooper's hotel room. As I've done with my Doctor Who reviews, I found myself trying to see this scene as though it were my first time. You watch Twin Peaks for eighteen years, and you tend to forget just how strange the decor at the Great Northern truly is. Off-camera we can hear Agent Cooper talking to Diane through his recorder. As the camera searches across taxidermied deer hooves holding hunting riffles, and ornate nature paintings, we fall upon Cooper, hanging upside down by a pair of metal hooks around his ankles. It's never explained why he's doing this, but for some reason the late '80s and early '90s had a weird thing about hanging guys upside down as so form of exercise. Michael Keaton did it in Batman, Patrick Bateman had one, and even Dale Cooper. Perhaps it was quick way to indicate both athleticism and eccentricity.

Cooper, hanging about in his hot dad garters and boxers dismounts from his perch with an ease that is both impressive and sexy. Before ending his recording session with Diane, Cooper waxes philosophical about Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys. In a way, this is Lynch and Frost drawing parallels between the deaths of both Monroe and Laura- two blonde women surrounded by powerful men and mystery. It's fitting when you consider that Lynch and Frost's first collaboration was in the form of a Marilyn Monroe biopic which never came into fruition. In many ways, the project laid some of the groundwork for what would become Twin Peaks.

Starting his day right with a balanced hotel breakfast, we're treated to yet another fascinating glimpse into Cooper's diet. As Sheriff Truman says later in the episode, he must have the metabolism of a bumblebee. Cooper orders a breakfast he refers to as "hard on the arteries," which is as hard as he wants his eggs. He wants his bacon super crispy- cremated. It may sound as though I'm exaggerating, but I've always loved watching Cooper order breakfast. He seems to revere food in a way not regularly seen on dramatic television. The morning coffee is more than one of the best, it's "damn fine." People have complained that the way people talk about food in Twin Peaks is weird. Sure, maybe in life creamed corn isn't an allegory to pain and suffering, but we've all been there when someone is having a similar reaction to the stuff. Food is personal, and it's a part of everyone's lives, why wouldn't characters talk about it?

Arriving at the tail end of Cooper's order is Audrey Horne, who has seemingly grown a good six or seven inches of hair overnight. Out of all of the mysteries in Twin Peaks, this was the least perplexing. Somewhere between filming the pilot and the first episode, Sherilyn Fenn grew her hair out, and it looks stunning. Everything about Audrey is stunning. Her eyebrows are stunning. That sweater is stunning. But at the moment, it is she who is stunned by Agent Cooper. Just as charmed by his eccentricities and his slicked black hair, she approaches Agent Cooper and asks to join him. Immediately Cooper sizes up that she finds him attractive, she's not exactly hiding it, and neither is he for that matter. For many fans, this is the moment the ship of Cooper and Audrey set sail. I personally always prefer the version where Cooper does the adult thing and doesn't date a high schooler.

After questioning Audrey, Cooper heads off to the Sheriff Station where they seem to still be having their breakfast as everyone he encounters has a mouthful of donuts. I'd also like to note the weird guy with a welding torch and ladder near the entrance. Twin Peaks is a lived in world filled with these people toiling away. Sheriff Harry Truman, mouth full of donuts, can't get a word in as Cooper flies into the room. After spelling out the itinerary, Cooper disappears to "urinate." This marks the first of many references to Dale Cooper's pee. Much like Tom Hanks, our favourite FBI agent is passionate about pissing. It's one of those life things, like food, that Twin Peaks likes to celebrate. Sometimes it's really nice to have a good piss, therefore sometimes Twin Peaks is about having a really good piss. I'm being completely earnest here.

Dr Hayward arrives to the sheriff station to report the findings of the post mortem. Unable to carry out the procedure himself, he outsourced the job to a nearby colleague. I've always admired the way Warren Frost plays this scene. His sadness seems to come and go in waves of realisation. There are the same echos from the pilot episode present here. From the report we learn that Laura died from a loss of blood from numerous shallow wounds. She had bite marks on her shoulders and marks on her arms from having been bound. She had also had sex with at least three men the night of her murder. The doctor also concludes that there is no doubt that Ronette was also present. As Dr Hayward relays this grizzly tale, his eyes wander to the photo of Laura. Pangs of sadness wash over his face as he questions who could do such a thing. He was the doctor present at her birth. She was his daughter's best friend. Laura was family to him.

On the other spectrum of family, we join the Johnsons at their incomplete home. Unable to just ask Shelly if she would do his laundry, Leo has to play mind games. He asks her if she did his laundry and chastises her as if catching her in a lie because his bag of nasty truck cabin clothes are still dirty. Eric Da Re is not a great actor, but there's something perfect about that. Leo is a big asshole that gaslights his wife, I don't expect much depth there. The only good thing I say about him is they got rid of his awful perm from the pilot. Even the way he pinches her cheek is controlling and unnatural. There's clearly no love between them, which is why when she discovers a blood-stained shirt in Leo's laundry she hides it. With Laura recently dead, and his behaviour as of late, this could be evidence. When he comes back later in a frenzy to find said shirt, he flies into a rage at its absence.

We're back at the Sheriff Station where we learn James Hurley owned the other half of Laura's necklace. As compared to Bobby's interrogation, James is Mr Manners. He answers all of Agent Cooper's questions with a quiet intensity. He admits to shooting the picnic video, and to owning the other half of the necklace, but not knowing who dug it up. He was also aware Laura was taking drugs but tried to get her to stop. On the night she died, James picked Laura up on his motorcycle. Acting strangely Laura disembarked from his bike, a disagreement ensued, Laura told James she loved him and disappeared into the woods. Cooper seems pleased with this information. We're then shown slow-motion picnic footage of Laura smiling at the camera. A somewhat cheesy "Help me," is played over the sound of wind and haunting music. It's a sort of fourth-wall-breaking that makes Twin Peaks feel as though not only the town, but the show itself is haunted by the late Laura Palmer.

Bobby and Mike, freshly arrested from their fistfight with Ed argue in their holding cells about the money they owe Leo Johnson. After being briefly questioned by Agent Cooper, they're both sent away with a warning not to harm James. James is also released into the custody of Big Ed, who confides that he believes the bartender, Jacques Renault,  slipped a Mickey in his drink. Ed wasn't just meeting Norma that night, he was also staking out Jacques' activities as a suspected drug dealer.

Speaking of Norma, we're given a brief but intense encounter at the general store between her and Nadine. At this point in the show, Nadine is completely bonkers. While I don't feel like she becomes any less touched in the head, we do begin to see more depth to her than just Ed's crazy wife. Wendie Robie is so good as Nadine, that Peggy Lipton only really need to react in kind as Nadine goes on about her drape runners. You can tell there's a quiet rivalry between the two women, both of whom resent one another for what they represent to one another. Norma is the woman Ed loves, and Nadine is the woman that stole him from Norma. When Nadine emphatically mentions the cotton balls that will make her drape runners completely silent, Norma can only stand as if in disbelief. It's the epitome of "weird flex, but ok." It doesn't help that all of this cotton ball talk is nestled into a conversation about Ed being in intensive care. Nadine exits as soon as she entered, leaving poor Norma looking confused and slightly violated.

Speaking of forbidden love, we're given a great scene between Donna Hayward and her mother, Eileen. We learn that despite her grief for Laura, and the guilt it makes her feel, Donna is finding herself loving James. Despite the nightmare that surrounds her, this love for James is like a beautiful dream. Eileen encourages her to invite James over for dinner, which she does. When watching James meet the Haywards I couldn't help but think of Eraserhead. In both, we get two entirely different, albeit very Lynchian "meet the parents," scenes. While James isn't asked to carve any manmade chickens, the awkward politeness permeates both scenes. There’s a sort of wholesomeness that borders on absurdity. Watching James make small talk in his big boy sweater is about the cutest damn thing that you almost forget how violent and terrifying Twin Peaks can be at times. This is something lifted straight out of the Waltons with it's cheesy Americana and good-natured sincerity. Of course, not everyone is as pleased about this new pairing as Mike and Bobby spot James' bike outside Donna's house.

Meanwhile, Dale and Harry find their way at the Martel residence to speak with Josie about her language classes with Laura. Through body language alone, Cooper deduces that the Sheriff and Josie are an item of sorts, as indicated at the end of the pilot episode. Pete is his usual charming self, offering up a cup of Joe to our boys. We're given another Cooperism as he asks for his coffee "black as midnight on a moonless night." That's pure poetry. We don't learn much from Josie here, other than the fact that Laura used to tutor her English and that she seemed distracted the last time they met. The biggest takeaway from the scene is that somehow Pete accidentally brewed a pot of coffee with a fish in the percolator. This is easily one of the most iconic scenes from the original series. Jack Nance was a treasure, and I will never not feel absolute delight when he comes rushing in just a touch too late- they've already tried the coffee.

Josie is called away for a phone call from the ice queen Catherine who informs her that shutting down the mill for the day cost the company more money than it was worth. After hanging up with Josie, we can see Catherine is in a strange motel, sipping champagne with Ben Horne. They're clearly working against Josie, but it's no secret that neither of them trust one another. Everyone is playing the double secret con, and it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. However, we do learn that the two are on again off again lovers. On the other side of town, Deputy Hawk follows up with Ronette's parents at the hospital. The Pulaskis don't have much information other than the fact that Ronette used to work the perfume counter at Horne's Department Store. As he is leaving, Hawk sees a suspicious one armed man skulking around the morgue. Following his gut instinct he starts tailing this mysterious figure through the dark halls of the hospital. Upon entering a room alight in a trippy dayglo black light, Hawk finds himself alone. Whoever this mystery man was, he disappeared into thin air.

A lot of this episode's theme seems to centre around the relationship between the parents and the high schoolers. Along with her conversation with her own mother, we get a scene between Donna and Sarah Palmer. Sarah, still sick with grief, seems genuinely pleased to see Donna until she sees Laura's face superimposed over Donna's. As she's pulling her closer she gets another vision, this time of a creepy grey-haired man sitting at the edge of Laura's bed. Sarah goes into full-on panic mode in a way only Grace Zabriskie is capable of delivering. Leland rushes in to whisk Donna away from the traumatic experience. In his own home, Bobby is getting a stern lecture from his father, Major Garland Briggs. The Major awkwardly tries to treat Bobby with some tough love, but ultimately misses the mark. Bobby's problems are bigger than anything his poor parents could fathom. The Hornes also experience a bit of domestic turmoil with Ben confronts Audrey about how her conversation with the Norwegians cost their family greatly. But unlike the Briggses, if Ben wanted to understand Audrey's rebellious nature, he only need look in the mirror.

Let's take a moment now to consider Laura Palmer. She was a troubled teenage girl with a drug habit, yes. Add to that being homecoming queen, in Spanish club, tutoring immigrants, caring for Audrey's special needs brother, and even heading Meals on Wheels for the elderly and shut-ins. It's the Meals on Wheels program that brings Cooper and Truman to the Double R Diner, where Laura used to work. We learn that Laura didn't just head the program, she created it. If any fictional characters were gunning for sainthood, Laura would be high on the list. It's easy to see why losing her has wounded the town so completely. The Log Lady approaches Cooper about Laura Palmer informing him that her log saw something the night Laura died. However, Cooper's reluctance to ask the log directly leads to her leaving before relaying the log's message.

Fresh off her shift from the Double R, Shelly returns home to Leo who has just put a bar of soap into a sock. He questions her about the bloody shirt, but she feigns ignorance. He tells her he's going to "teach," her about respecting people's property as he advances toward her with the sock swinging over his head. We can only look on hopelessly as the brutish Leo approaches a cowering Shelly. The scene graciously cuts away, as we know what comes next. The episode concludes in Dr Jacoby's bizarre Hawaii themed office (or maybe apartment, maybe both). Inside a fishtank sits three dried out puffer fish filled with blinking lights like paper lamps. After putting a tape into his stereo he dons a pair of giant headphones revealing a taped conversation from his former secret patient- Laura Palmer. He pulls coconut from a palm tree and settles in to listen to his tape. He opens up the coconut to reveal the other half of Laura's necklace. It appears that Dr Jacoby was the one following James and Donna into the woods.

The contents of the recording are revealing, not just about Laura, but also about Dr Jacoby. Laura's flirtatious nature indicates that we can add one more sexual partner to Laura's list. She mentions how James is sweet but too dumb to talk to her about her problems like Jacoby is capable of doing. But part of the brilliance in the scene is that you can also sense that Laura is acting for Dr Jacoby. Fulfilling the role of a young helpless girl who loves him, so that he may fulfil some role she needs. Whether it be a form of protection or just a soundboard for her problems, she had him wrapped around her finger. So what is this ritual of Jacoby's? Are these the actions of a killer reminiscing over the trophies of his hunt, or a man grieving the real, if not inappropriate relationship he had with a young girl? As the tape continues, we hear Laura talking about a man in a red car who can really light her "F-I-R-E." She continues to make a confession about a mystery man, but the audio drops out, leaving us only the doctor's perplexed face to clue us into what she said. The credits roll as we're left wondering.

Truth be told, I could have written this review without having to rewatch the episode. I try and rewatch Twin Peaks in its entirety at least once every one or two years. However, I am glad I did revisit this one as there are lots of little pieces of minutiae I may have overlooked. More than anything, I was curious to weigh Dunham's directing against David Lynch's, and I have to say, it's not bad. The tone is correct for the series and the emotions are played for real. It's always going to be different because the two directors are different people. But as certain episodes in season two prove, some directors begin to parody Lynch's style, adding weird for the sake of weird. But this early on, it is as though Twin Peaks is a juggernaut of unstoppable creativity. Even the duller storylines take on the energy of the greater mystery. Lynch only directed a handful of the original series episodes, which is why the next episode I'm reviewing is an especially exciting one. Not only is episode two (aka the third episode) directed by David Lynch, but it also begins to introduce some of the more metaphysical elements of the series. You could almost say that Lynch directs the most important episodes, and my god is this next one a doozy.

Well, friends, that's all from the world of Twin Peaks for now. I'll have the next review up soonish, but not before the new Doctor Who review. Speaking of which, it is now less than an hour until it airs! Who else is excited? What a great way to ring in the new year! See you all soon!

[pplowden]

PRE FMP Exaggeration and storytelling

Exaggeration and storytelling are inherent in human society. What I really find interesting is the structure of how humans live their lives. People find a comfort in routine and success in repetition. There is a unanimous decision in how we should form our days; at what times we brush our teeth, eat, get dressed, go to bed etc. Not only does this satisfy people, it makes them feel secure and entertained, we even try to recreate this artificially, for example the game ‘Sims’ is all about building your own society, it is like playing with your own life, only with slightly more control.

I decided to take this even further, living by a strict manifesto of only eating orange food in my orange room. While there was a sense of comfort in the limitations this provided, it felt ridiculous and inevitably, made me physically sick. There are many artists who decide to live with such extreme routines - the most famous probably being Gilbert and George. People are infatuated with the mystery around their commitment to structure. Real or not they provoke the idea that structure provides something for humans, even if it is just people's interest in it.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/gilbert-george-day-routine-life-453958

Perhaps this obsession with routine is about allowing us time to search for what is really important; our purpose in life. Often people long to turn the mundane into the interesting, which seems both an act of desperation and a form of existential crisis. The thought that there is something beyond us is scary, exciting and somehow important. The artist David Huggins is a 74 year old man who has spent his life painting the extraterrestrial woman who took his virginity and the hybrid human alien-babies this produced. What interests me about him is that he refuses to sell the works of his (fantasy) wife - his paintings are personal objects which form a part of his life, not mere pieces of work.

https://www.theartblog.org/2011/08/david-huggins-an-uncommon-life/

Furthermore, although he has lived his life in what we assume to be half fantasy, he has embedded these alien figures into an ordinary, human life. He is in a monogamous relationship and fathering a family. As much desperation there is to find something beyond humanity, there is still an urge to bring it  back round to what we have created. This led me to draw a series of imagined scenes of aliens performing the daily acts of humans, such as eating dinner.

This is why I am interested in exaggeration; people want to find something new and exciting, but only so they can share it with what human experience we already have. There is an absurdity in how dramatic humans are often tempted to be, it is humorous.

https://www.siff.net/festival/dj-nicfit-presents-fantastic-planet

Inspired by Roland Topor's ‘La Planète Sauvage’, which explores the relationship between human and alien, and his costumes for a production of the ‘Magic Flute’, I decided to knit alien costumes and perform a ballet, green screening it onto a background of the face on Mars.

I decided performance is a good way to dramatise what I am trying to explore, as it relies on amplification and being extravagant. The use of a green screen allows importance to be placed on the movement of the performer and any connections with setting to be removed. By replacing it with the the face on Mars, it represents perfectly what I am interested in, how humans have grasped a familiar figure and celebrated it, in a place full of the unknown.

It is this balance between truth and fiction which really holds my attention. Ultimately, fact and fiction is merely what people claim them to be. If stories are about perspective, how can we deem one version true and another false?

https://www.henson.com/storyteller.php

Folk tales, fables, and legends are interesting here, as the oldest and most famous forms of stories historically. The kids tv programme ‘The Storyteller’ by Jim Henson tells such tales, emphasising the importance of dramatics in storytelling through voice, setting and humour. The opening lines of each episode being;

“When people told themselves their past with stories, explain their present with stories, foretold the stories with stories, the best place by the fire, was kept with for storyteller”.

The act of a story is presented almost like a ritual which affects everyones everyday life, but also something which has a skill to it. As often seen in literature and art, this programme is a story about stories. It is not simply a retelling, there is importance in its own characters and their narrative.

Inspired by my own experiences and stories about being attacked/attacking birds, I researched the greek myths of Icarus, Prometheus and Leda and the Swan. Once again I found myself interested in the dramatic nature of such myths; the dramatic monologues and inevitable rise and fall of characters, the shifting perspectives and interpretations and mostly, the tendency to fabricate something unimportant to transform it into the important. To reflect on this idea, I wrote an essay;

Reflections on swans (and seagulls)

The swan is often considered to be the most beautiful and powerful creature. As described in Yeats’ poem ‘The Wild Swans at Coole’, they are “mysterious, beautiful” and “unwearied”, traits all humans aspire to have. We are in awe of them; as we are tempted by materialism and infidelity, grow cynical and die, their symbolic beauty doesn’t fade: the swan remains monogamous and elegant, living a simple, pure life.

Swans carry a purity in their graceful paddle and colouring as well as symbolising a sort of British greatness. They are believed to be silent until singing a final “swan song” – the pinnacle of their greatness - at their death. Perhaps this and the fact they are owned by the Queen, gives them a mysterious authority. We are taught to admire them from a respectful distance.

However, no matter how blinded by their beauty we are, we know never to forget their power. They are fierce, quick to feel threatened and will “breaking our legs” to protect their young.

This recognition and portrayal of their danger is not a new one. The myth of Zeus disguising himself as a swan to rape Leda has been a prominent tale explored in art for centuries. Although this story uses the swan to represent a cruel and deceiving character, Michelangelo painted it as an intimate and romantic scene, supposedly causing it to be destroyed in the seventeenth century due to its ‘lasciviousness’.

I find Stephen Pearsons’ ‘Wings of Love’, famously known for illustrating the divide between Laurence and Beverly in Mike Lees ‘Abigail’s Party’, reminiscent of this. While ‘Wings of love’ symbolises the progression and divide between romanticism and realism, exposing people for being over consumed with nature while also applauding nature for holding such power, ‘Leda and the Swan’, symbolises the relationship between cruelty and power.

Yeats has also written a poem on this, emphasising a much cruel explanation: “A sudden blow”, “He holds her helpless breast upon his breast”. Immediately we feel the brute force of Zeus raping Leda. However, what becomes surprising as you read on is the threatening softness in which he continues to describe it; “feathered glory”, “thighs caressed”. This seems to perfectly sum up the character of a swan - silent but deadly.

I find this imbalance of opinions peculiar and recurring with swans - perhaps it is only superficial beauty and the fact that the Queen owns them which makes us feel so proud and protective of them? In reality, they are dangerous and cruel.

I once ate a swan after it died flying into an electrical wire on my grandparents’ farm. Its flesh was dark, forbidding and fishy. It was unpleasant and I felt as if I was being let down, as if it was meant to be something life changing when in fact it was vulgar and sickening. I wonder if the pride of national ownership only added to this feeling? It was meant to be an honour to be eat something usually untouchable, admirable and wild; free but royal; yet it was disgusting.

Do we misunderstand all animals, all birds, all nature? We, like the Queen, assert ownership over animals with our pets. Yet we keep them in cages and on leads. We have a hierarchy – swans above seagulls, seagulls above caged budgies. What does it mean and is it more about ourselves than the animals we portray?

I am interested in this and in our relationship to other birds. I wonder if it is the status of Royal ownership which separates swans from the common bird, which we often fear or diminish. We fear birds trapped in houses. In a recent news story, we fear a seagull that stole a woman’s pet chihuahua. Why underestimate the seagull? It is an enemy because it steals our chips and our chihauhuas. But what has changed since the lesson of Prometheus, which warned humans not to be arrogant or misunderstand the natural order of the world? Why are we now taught to hate and disrespect the common bird?

I think we often use nature in art to try to understand and illustrate power complexes and ourselves - there is a craving to understand our place in the world. The conflicting views on swans is an example. In a way, swans are irrelevant to humans, they are in our art because there is a deeper craving to understand something much larger about ourselves. Thinking about this prompted me to make a film about the neglected and maligned seagull; to draw comparisons between the survivalist impulse which exists in these lonely, maligned birds and in lonely, maligned people.

What writing this essay and the script for my film really taught me is that it is the absurdity in the obsession of trying to understand something bigger than us which interests me, whether its natural order or power complexes, the need to exaggerate human importance until we understand such topics seems unavoidable. David Lynch’s new film ‘WHAT DID JACK DO?’ I find represents what I mean here: the nonsensical, circling script of cliches eventually defeats the storyline. Instead, what becomes entertaining and successful is the humorous journey of the dialogue.

netflix.com

In some ways, it seems a critique of stories as they are meant to be, instead suggesting it is the ludicrous way in which we tell them through exaggeration is what becomes the story.

Since realising this, I think what I am really interested in is not just the stories people are telling, but how they tell them that I am attracted to. For example, at my aunt and uncles house there are three stone sculptures of heads on their mantle piece which my uncle found in a skip. He says that in the medieval times they believed murderers all had the same anatomy, and these heads are in fact death masks of murderers used to figure out the bone structure that would possess every murderer. While sat at a candle lit dinner, the heads glowing and watching over us, I was told the story of the severed head. Our family friend had gone to open day for a boarding school and while playing football had kicked the ball into a nearby bush. Going to retrieve it and continue the game, he kicked it out into the playing field. What landed was not the football, but a severed head. The school sent out a small apology letter, but covered up the story and it was never heard about again, except through word of mouth. Becoming its own kind of myth, I hear and retell this story often, surprisingly regularly receiving a similar story in reaction.

I am interested in how to turn such accounts into their own visual stories or pieces of work. I believe one way to do this is to learn what is so interesting in each individual story and focus on this, whether it as obscure as the fact it is so dramatic and making an installation full of shadows and mystery, or as specific as a particular description of an object and recreating it.

I am interested in interactive works; I believe giving a role to the audience to be immersed is very powerful in its effect, especially when exploring storytelling, where the audience and the memories they are left with is half of the experience. Saying that, I believe it should be a memory they are left with only. Often people are interested in taking a physical object away from an artwork, as well as a memory.

https://www.moma.org/learn/moma_learning/yoko-ono-cut-piece-1964/

For example in Yoko Ono’s ‘Cut Piece’, the audience members were invited to come and cut off a piece of her clothing. What is powerful about this performance is not the fact they walk away with a piece of her cloth -  an artefact of such a famous artwork - but the fact they committed the act. The fabric has become the documentation, the intimate act the work. Therefore, I find it more exciting to leave the room empty handed. If there is nothing to tell except for the story of the experience - we are left with a series of interesting experiences and accounts, becoming a story and artwork in itself.

Another way in which we can dramatise is through physical size and dominance. Working on a large scale excites me. Phyllida Barlows' work at the 2017 Venice Biennale felt almost like a stage design. The construction and emphasis on under cladding became the artwork, it was compromised of monumental structures of various, large heights filling the gallery.

https://www.designboom.com/art/phyllida-barlow-british-pavilion-venice-biennale-05-28-2017/

I hope to continue researching storytelling and exaggeration through an interesting, dramatic aesthetic.

[flying-elliska]

salut ellie! someone once asked you about your writing and you recommended falling in love with language and finding ways of writing you love. i was wondering, what books and/or writing styles are you in love with? it's just so interesting to know what somehow had an impact on the way you're writing bc i honestly adore your style

wow do you remember that ? that is such a flattering question oh my god. well, i’m still working on it. some of my favorites are (i’m very eclectic lmao) : 

- His Dark Materials (it’s a fantasy book series ‘for kids’ but it’s actually insanely deep and philosophic) is pretty much the first book series that made me fall in love with stories, and made me want to write. I think I found it when I was 10, and it completely shaped me. It’s so ambitious and clever, it never talks down to the reader, brings up those amazing worlds and philosophical concepts and is still accessible to kids. Most of all it is so committed to atmosphere, to making it vivid, to really make you go through what the characters are. I’m thinking of it and I can remember exactly certain passages in an almost sensory way : the witch Serafina Pekkala describing what it feels like to feel the Aurora Borealis on her bare skin as she is flying through the arctic. The polar bear Iorek giving Lyra frozen moss to help bandage his wounds after a battle. The grilled poppy heads that the Jordan College scholars at Oxford eat during a meeting. The little Gallivespians on their dragonflies and the way the sun reflects off their poisonous spurs. That’s how you make a story stick ; that’s how you can put in deep stuff without ever making it boring. I am so excited they’re making a tv series because that shit deserves some recognition. And I mean the whole plot about the importance of stories, free will, the horror of religious fundamentalism....always relevant. Philip Pullman’s stuff is great in general, I love his Sally Lockhart series, which is more adult and adventure focused, and is a great deal of fun. And of course, the sequel to HDM he’s been putting out recently. 

- I spent a lot of my teen years reading either crime novels or historical novels. (When I think of some of the stuff I read when I was 13 I’m like oh my god what were my parents doing lmao some of that was really horrible.) And I think it gave me a good feeling for suspense and setting, and how important tension is. One of my all time faves is Andrea Japp. She is a French writer who does mostly crime, involving complex/monstrous woman characters and a very sensory, poetic approach to language, often involving food, plants and poisons. My favorite by her is the “Season of the Beast”/Agnès de Souarcy chronicles, which is a crime series set in medieval times, with a cool independent lady at its core, crimes in a monastery, and this very gloomy end of times vibe that I love. I also read a lot of Scandi Noir stuff, I love the kind of ...laconic approach to life. And again : vibe. Vibe is so important. And Sherlock Holmes stories. I love the Mary Russell series that take place in that universe and are basically a big Mary Sue self insert guilty pleasure but are just. So much fun. 

- I like poetry a lot - not stuff that is too wordy, but something short, sharp and vivid. i think reading poetry is essential to feeding your inner ‘metaphor culture’. I love Mary Oliver. Rimbaud, too, that I read at 17 and rocked my world. One of my underrated faves is  Hồ Xuân Hương, a Vietnamese poet from the 18th century who was adept at using nature metaphors to hide both erotic stuff, irreverent jokes, and political criticism, and correspond with all the great scholars of her time under a pseudonym. Badass.  Recently I bought ‘Soft Science’ by Franny Choi, which is about cyborgs, having a female body, emotions and politics and it’s absolutely brilliant. 

- I love reading fairy tales, too. Currently reading (i always read a lot of books at once lol) Angela Carter’s Book of Fairy Tales, basically fairy tales for grown ups, collected from folklore all over the world, with an amazing kind of gruesome humor and wisdom. Norse mythology is also so damn funny. That one bit with Thor dressing up as a bride or Loki’s shenanigans...amazing. And I like fantasy, I find it very soothing to read for some reason, my fave has to be Robin Hobb and her Realm of the Elderlings series. And Terry Pratchett, especially the series with Death or the Witches. Just brilliant. Neil Gaiman too. 

- I tend to be very impatient when it comes to literary fiction, I find a lot of it is self-indulgent, dreary. I’m a genre reader through and through, I need to be amazed. I loved ‘the Elegance of the Hedgehog’ by Muriel Barbery though. Some stuff by Amélie Nothomb, Virginie Despentes occasionally (they’re French writers with a very dark, wry approach to life, tho the first is more polished acid and the second very punk rock). And ‘Special Topics in Calamity Physics’ by Marisha Pessl is pretentious as hell but a lot of fun, if you like dark academia. Salman Rushdie has a way with language that is amazing. 

- I read a lot of non-fiction. At the moment : the Cabaret of Plants (about the symbolic/socio historical meaning of plants and how they shaped history) by Richard Mabey and ‘Feminist Fight Club’ by Jessica Bennett. One I absolutely love is ‘the Botany of Desire’ by Michael Pollan in which he traces the history of four plant species (apple, potato, cannabis, tulip) and how they impacted us as much as we impacted them. I was obsessed with plants for most of my life as you can see lol (my mother is a herbalist and I wanted to become a botanist for quite a while.). Also philosophy/anthropology in little bits. I love Tim Ingold. Things about witches. Anything by Rebecca Solnit is incredible. 

- I’ve been reading a lot of YA recently, because it’s fun and quick and keeps me reading, and has a lot of good female characters. Big fave recently : Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. It’s about a young bisexual woman who’s grieving and comes to this weird house full of doors, each of which leads to a different path in life, and we follow her through each choice she can potentially make, each of one becomes a different genre of story : creepy ghost story, spy story, sci-fi, cute romance, etc. It’s so innovative and it’s a story that is also bisexual culture at its core. Also I absolutely love love love love love (etc forever) the Raven Cycle series by Maggie Stiefvater. What she does with language is just so cool, because she stays simple and efficient but uses her metaphors in such a fulgurant, vivid way. Some of her lines are just. bam! genius. #goals. Also Ronan Lynch is probably THE character that helped me the most with my coming out. He’s one of my forever faves.  Of course Harry Potter, lmao, I was of the generation that pretty much grew up with him, the last book came out when I was 17. JK Rowling really should just stop rn. But I learned so much from those, about the importance of making your story feel like home, and having a clear emotional journey. And Harry is such a sarcastic little shit, I love him. And I love a Series of Unfortunate Events too, the darkly funny tone of it, the celebration of knowledge and resilience. 

- I think in terms of the classics (I had to read in school lmao), I do like Victor Hugo a lot even though some of his stuff just doesn’t fucking stop. I also like Balzac and his Comédie Humaine, he’s very observant, mean and funny when it comes to people (even though it’s depressing.) Colette is my grandma’s fave writer and she is a rockstar, I love her (also hella bi culture). Jane Austen is great, I read Pride and Prejudice in one night straight, I was so hooked. Love Jane Eyre too. I read On the Road by Jack Kerouac while hopped up on opioid pain killers and that’s probably the only way to appreciate it, but it did mark me.  

- But to be completely fucking candid, I probably read the most fanfic nowadays still. Esp since I got to college, I need to unwind when I read, and having characters you already know can be so comforting. Now, of course, there’s a lot of fanfic that is just fluff (nothing wrong with that) but I honestly really believe in the literary value of fanfic. Because some of that shit simply just really slaps and is well written. But also as a genre on its own : you just simply don’t get so much emotional nuance, and depth in most other things. Because these are characters we already know and the writers are not afraid to be self-indulgent and plot is secondary, we see shades of things that we never see anywhere else, we see relationships developping in the small things and wow that shit is breathtaking, bro, sometimes. The art of infinite variation on a theme. Even though a lot of fic writers could use a bit of stricter editing, and do stuff a bit too many unnecessary details in here, so does Victor Hugo soooooooo....

lol i could go on forever. i love book soooo much. uni kinda killed my reading appetite, I used to read several books a week when I was in middle school. hope i can get back there (although maybe not as much bc i have a life now lol.) but thinking about everything i have yet to read makes me sooooo happy. I want to get more into sci-fi, English lit classics. Basically I like stuff that’s witty, dark, political, hedonistic, with dry humor, but a warm heart. Stories that celebrate knowledge, curiosity and human weirdness. And that gets to the point. When I get bored by a book, I put it down, because I just don’t have the time. I also hate writers where you can tell that they think they’re better than other people. Misanthropy is boring. Thank you for this question anon I had a blast

[thecompostpile]

I try to write about every movie I watched in 2020:Greener Grass

Greener Grass 

1/17/20

Man I don’t know what to make of Greener Grass. It is an absolutely batshit movie that is so beautiful and funny and weird. I found out about this movie through a podcast called Switchblade Sisters where the writers/directors/stars Joycelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe talked about their film in references to Polyester by John Waters. While neither had seen any John Waters movies before making this they quickly fell in love with his style of movie. 

Greener Grass creates a village where everything seems perfect. No one wants to share how they are really feeling. A few scenes stick in my mind of encompassing this best. The first comes around the middle as we are getting more and more used to this strange town where everyone rides in golf carts. Four carts all meet at a four way intersection. Each one wants the other to go yet none of them will go. Everyone waits there smiling while they tell the other to go. It is the exact thing I hate when people are driving and let another person go instead of them going on their turn. Your niceness isn’t helping anyone only going against the rules of the road and convincing the people behind you. It is an empty gesture made to make the person doing it feel good for themselves. 

That is a theme running through Greener Grass where everything is just to look good and no one ever shows any real emotions. Everyone wears the same colors. Everyone drives the same golf cart. All the houses look the same like toy houses. While the two couples are having dinner two waiters walk into each other and drop all the food on the ground. Instead of getting net meals sent to the table the family just moves to the floor and eats off the floor like it is no big deal. There was no reason to eat of the floor the waiters apologized and would bring new plates but the families wanted to be polite no matter what and so they ate off the floor only causing themselves discomfort. 

I really loved this movie it stood out as something special in 2019 after I saw a lot of different movies. This was really different not the same cool A24 but actually different. It seemed like a fever dream. If Jon Waters directed a movie written by David Lynch or something like it. PErsonally I am always impressed with that absurd kind of humor. The type that I could never be able to come up with if I wanted to. While Greener Grass maybe never had much of a plot that it followed the jokes throughout it all landed and were weird and delightful. By far the movie I have laughed out loud the most to.  

One of the best bits that I think best explains the world the film takes place in is the television shows the families watch. I’m obsessed with anything that has fake tv shows in it. It is a great way to world build.  It just creates a more dense world where anything can happen. Mocking television is so fun because it is so easy so much television is absolutely absurd and took that to an extreme is great. 

So while I think plot wise there is room to grow for these two first time directors, the content of the movie was really strong. It certainly had a vision and went out of it’s way to make sure that vision, that world they had built was seen out to the best of their abilities. I am hopeful that these two have more movies to put out in the future but will certainly be revisiting Greener Grass soon. 

[satans-helper]

"I See You" tag...

One of my favorite people, Thom Yorke, has a newly released and one-time zine which he wrote and constructed. I was so intrigued with the questions he asked that I thought asking all of you would be interesting as well. However, I can understanding wanting to veto this for yourself, which is totally fine lol.

Who are you? And why?

I’m Zara. I know exactly why I am who I am, but I don’t know why I was chosen to exist. Nevertheless, existence is truly a blessing.

What does resistance in 2019 look and/or sound like? How does it dance?

I really feel like resistance in the mind is just as powerful as resistance in action, though I know a lot of people would disagree with me. So many of us are really grasping for any semblance of power, it’s difficult to take real action. But having that mindset is crucial, it’s the starting point, even though all of us are trapped in a fucked up, despairing system.

What is a personal fear you’d like to conquer? Or at least come to terms with.

So many. Most importantly, I’d love to conquer (or at least come to terms with) my fear of losing control. Really, we have so little control over our lives and I can accept that, that’s not daunting. It’s when I’m faced with an individual loss of control, no matter how small, that I feel myself so disrupted and fearful and anxious. Control is such a fixation for me, it’s truly obsessive, and in that way it debilitates and hinders. Just letting go and letting things be as they may is something I’d like to be better with.

How do you respond to pressure/stress?

I get agitated and lash out. Then I either talk about it or go outside, preferably both.

Who do you know of that you believe could really change our world for the better...or even save us through their work?

People who have real power and money. Of course, those are the people that, largely, will not even try. Beyond that, any artist has that power, and literally any artist who’s creating is actively doing it. Above all else, art changes the world. 

Do you wake in the night worrying about the end of the world as we know it?

I wake in the night to pee then spend 40 minutes trying to get back to sleep. But that worry does plague me often. At some point every day, I think about it. If I think about it for too long I feel myself freezing. The world as we once knew it has ended, it’s the very real fear and reality of it getting worse that’s more frightening.

Can you share something you have discovered about how to get through life in a good way that you wish more people knew about?

I’ll name two, because I like to lecture. The first is to talk to people. My literal job is to talk to people who are having a hard time and I can’t tell you how many of them say they have no one to talk to, and I can’t press upon you enough how untrue that is. We are all struggling in some way, yet we are also all existing together. How? Humans naturally harmonize with one another. You don’t even have to vent to someone or work through a problem with someone--just talk to someone. Go out and be with someone. I promise that there is at least one person who wants to talk to you, too.

Second, move your body. Forget the word “exercise” if you have to, just move your body. Get strong. Go outside. Charge through fields, woods, streams, everything, and cultivate that feeling of being invincible. Learning just how powerful your body is makes life unbelievably better.

What do you want the world to look like in 10 years?

Like shit’s changed for the better. Like there are no billionaires. Like our current capitalist society has changed in some way, hopefully many ways. Like other species can fucking live. Like we can fucking live. 

If you had the chance to put something on billboards worldwide next week, what would it be? Or what would it say?

To quote David Lynch, “Fix your heart or die.”

tagging: @stevie-baby @saywecanart @bigthighsandstupidguys @mountainofthesunn @gretavanfic @jeordinevankiszka @gretavanyeeeeet @that-glassbottomed-ego @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @flowrxchild @kiszkawagnergvf @camomillacatalina

[womantryingtoexist]

57 for TRC (pynch)?

57, I`ll call in sick… again

(This is going to be some pre-canon, pre-pynch stuff, tw: child abuse)

Adam was not at work. Adam had also not been at school, but that was not unheard of. Work however? Parrish really had to be dead in a ditch. 

And no, Ronan did not worry. He just wanted for Gansey to shut up, thank you very much. If Parrish was done with work, good for him. That fucker probably fucked up to wherever he went when he wasn`t with them or at work. The trailer, probably.

It was week 16 of Parrishs occupation of Gansey. Not that Ronan was counting, of course. Ronan could have bet that a straight-laced kid like Adam would fuck off the second Gansey started talking about his Glendower obsession, but no, he stuck around. And did it still. Just not today. 

Which was weird, okay? They had something planned. And not that Ronan was memorizing shit or something, but Adam was never late - except for school on the bad days.

Ronan hated thinking of the bad days. Hated thinking of someone else shitting on Parrish and his bruised ego. That was his job. 

Maybe that was why Ronan said goodbye to Gansey, who still looked lost in front of the Adam-less garage. But Ronan did not plan to participate in his usual after-school activities. Nah, he wanted to tell Parrish to bring his precious ass over to Monmouth so Gansey could stop complaining.

Against poplar believe, Ronan was no complete idiot. He parked the BMW far up the dirty road that led to Adam`s trailer. He even shed his leather jacket and opted for only his black tang. No need to make things harder than they already are.

Virginia heat is a special kind of heat, Ronan mused. It is fucked up hot, fucked up moist, and everybody knows that shit that can be described as moist is disgusting.

When he reached the trailer, sweat plastered his shirt to his body. The run down thing in front of him was silent in the way abandond buildings are silent. The same could not be said for his surroundings. A dog was barking, kids screaming - some of joy, some definitely not - and a woman yelled something in the distant. 

Ronan knocked. 

He had a bad feeling. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe it would have been better to wait it the fuck out and to make fun of Parrish when he reappeared. What if his dad opened the door? Ronan didn`t trust himself enough not to throw hands. 

Adam opened. 

He looked like shit. There was no other way to describe it. The circles under his eyes were pronounced as fuck, a bruise colored almost all of his face. But that was not unusual. This would normally only mean a day or two of missed school. But something else had to be fucking wrong for Adam to also miss work.

But Ronan knew he had no way of figuring that out if Adam closed the door in his face. So, before Adam could really react besides a raised eyebrow, Ronan already pushed past him into the trailer.

“Shiiiit, Parrish”

Not the most eloquent, but what looked fucked up from the outside did certainly not improve on the inside - at least not with this double wide. 

“No shit, Lynch. What do you want?”

There was defiance in Parrish`s eyes, not that Ronan had counted on anything else. But he also didn`t move, still leaning against the door frame. Ronan had the sinking suspicion, that the door did a better job at keeping Adam upright than Adam himself did. 

“You didn`t show up for work, Pisser. Gansey has his panties in a twist, wanted to know where you are…”

It was not a lie. Just also not the whole truth. But Adam Parrish did not need to know that Ronan cared. Hell, he didn`t even want to know it himself.

Adam scoffed:

“I had better things to do, as you can see!”

There was so much bitterness in his voice. Adam reminded Ronan of himself. Which also meant that Ronan knew how to deal with this certain kind of asshole.

“Piss about all you want, but Gansey wants his tabs on you updated. Hell, if you don`t show up tomorrow here himself and your neighbors are sure not ready for Dick Three and the Return of The Fucking Republicans. So, are you going to be a little shit or can i tell Gansey you are back tomorrow?”

Ronan knew he was a bit loud. But he also knew that Adam would not have opened the door if his parents were here.  

Parrish looked at him for a long time. When he finally sighted tension left his body like a fucking waterfall. With a few stilted steps Adam reached a kitchen chair. Sitting, he motioned for Ronan to take the other one. 

“I am not gonna be back at school tomorrow, Lynch… or at work”

Something hitched inside Ronans chest - it might have been feelings. 

“Then what are you going to do?”

There was honest concern in his voice. He had seen Adam beaten down many times before but today he looked defeated. 

“I am going to call in sick… again”

In this moment Ronan was sure that Adam Parrish would die if he didn`t move out soon. And that thought terrified him. 

“But what is so fucked up that you missed both school and work?”

This was probably nicer than anything Ronan had ever said to Adam and yet it did not come close to the questions he wanted to ask:

How can I help? What can I do? Should I drive you to the hospital? Will you let me help you?

Maybe he didn`t ask those questions because the answer would only be a fight.

“Nothing I can`t handle, Lynch. Are you happy now? I am not dead and you can say Gansey, I did not forget his thing, okay? I`ll be back in a few days…”

If Ronan could only believe him. His concern must have shown on his face, because what only moments before had been an exhausted Adam was suddenly a guarded Parrish again.

“And now piss of, before one of my neighbors steals your precious big shit car!”

“Fuck off!”

But Ronan did leave. With a bad taste in his mouth and the need to burn something down. Maybe Kavinsky was available. 

_______________________________

Thank you for this Drabble Prompt!It did definitely turn out angstier than intended…. but then again, i cannot do Pynch without Angst!

Send me Prompts and I will wirte a Drabble

[mshelenahandbag]

2017 - Year of the Laura Dern

Laura Dern is having the best year of her career, or anyone else’s for that matter. 

I could just end this article here, but you know I have to tell you WHY. Laura Dern has, for me, been constantly impressive with her acting prowess from a young age. My first memory is seeing her as Dr. Ellie Sattler in Jurassic Park, and even back then, little didn’t-know-I-was-gay-yet me loved the cool female paleontologist. (Looking back she also had THE best lines (“we can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back!”), most famous of them all being during Goldblum’s “Man creates dinosaurs” soliloquy – “Dinosaurs EAT man….woman inherits the Earth.”) She’s always played interesting characters, but, for me, has never really had her breakthrough with mainstream television and film.

Until this year where Laura Dern has excelled in four projects and netted her first Emmy victory!

Sure, she’s had her accolades with David Lynch’s Blue Velvet and Wild At Heart and her notable appearance as the woman Ellen DeGeneres came out to on Ellen. But never anything truly concrete to make a large cross-section of people go “wow.” She’s always, at least to me, been good for niche groups.  Her last Golden Globe win was for the HBO series Enlightened where she played self-destructive executive Amy Jellicoe, and she got an Oscar nomination for 2015’s Wild as Reese Witherspoon’s mother.

Wild director Jean-Marc Vallee is one of the main reasons we’re buzzing about Laura Dern’s 2017 renaissance. He definitely saw something in Dern, and her chemistry with Witherspoon, because the two would reunite and butt heads in HBO’s Big Little Lies – exhibit A in her best year. While everyone was obsessed with the performances Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman and Shailene Woodley gave as the main trio of Madeline, Celeste and Jane (as they rightly should because the series is just that flawless), my focus was on Laura Dern embodying Renata Klein, queen of the helicopter moms in Monterey.

Dern’s Renata had me shouting EMMY long before others jumped on the bandwagon. There’s a scene in the second episode where the birthday party for Amabella, Renata’s daughter, is derailed by Madeline - out for blood when Renata didn’t invite Ziggy, Jane’s son. So Madeline comes back and gets plenty of comped tickets for Disney on Ice so everyone cancels on the birthday party. Renata hits the ceiling, calmly, telling her friend Harper (who bears the unfortunate duty of informing Renata) “Ok. Thank you.”

Harper tries to mediate with “Let us all get along-”

But Renata comes back with the AMAZING over the top…well…this.

“I SAID THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

Whether ad-libbed on the spot or script, this moment of hilarity, for me, from Renata made her one of the best characters this year on any show. Showing perfectly poised Renata lose it time and time again, especially when threatening her husband (“I will take my hands and put them around your throat!”) or Madeline (“I’ll even get Snow White to sit on your husband’s face. Maybe Dumbo can take a squat on yours”) was a highlight week after week. The entire series was worth of every Emmy it garnered and survived a potential shutout from FX’s Feud: Bette and Joan but if anything, Laura Dern was the only one out of those nominated that truly deserved to win.

From here, Laura Dern turned from psycho mom to plain old psycho in Netflix’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt as Wendy Hebert – who’s set to marry Kimmy’s old pastor. It’s a brief guest starring role, but Dern adds so much in those 20 minutes and delivers a fully-formed character. Wendy starts off so innocent, but the more we spend time with her and Kimmy (Ellie Kemper), the more we realize how unstable she is. Plus she helps Kimmy to confront some real traumas the reverend has inflicted on her, and she also delivers one of my favorite lines in the three seasons of the show as she confides in Titus (Tituss Burgess): “If we only see each other one hour a week, he’ll never realize what a useless piece of crap I am and he’ll love me forever, and that’s what I deserve!” In short, Dern’s portrayal of a woman with absolutely zero self-worth is hysterical.

And from here, Laura Dern’s year hits its zenith with Twin Peaks as she plays long-heard-about-but-never-seen Diane: Agent Dale Cooper’s secretary to whom he has dictated all of his many tapes. Laura Dern’s work with David Lynch has always been fantastic: whether in Blue Velvet, Wild at Heart, Industrial Symphony No. 1, or Inland Empire – it’s clear that Lynch knows how to get the best results out of her craft. And that’s the reason why her work as Diane is probably a role we will be talking about for years to come.

We meet Diane Evans as a chain-smoking foul-mouthed goddess who was my favorite part of the mindfuck of this 18-part opus. I seriously loved every time Dern, in her platinum bob wig would take a drag off her cigarette and generally her conversations would consist of “Fuck you [insert name here].” She played so well off her director Lynch as FBI agent Gordon Cole and the late Miguel Ferrer as FBI agent Albert Rosenfeld. But one of my favorite moments came when newbie Tammy Preston (Chrysta Bell) tries to thank Diane for helping them, only to be met with this-

Diane: “What did you say your name was again?”

Tammy: “Tammy.”

Diane: “Fuck you, Tammy.”

I laughed way too hard at this, for way too long. Diane’s modus was basically this for a few episodes but about halfway through the series, her mood changed. We saw her visibly uncomfortable speaking with Mr. C, Cooper’s evil doppelganger BOB created. She revealed that Cooper (Mr. C) had come to see he years ago, but refused to elaborate. We later her she and Mr. C were in cahoots, via text. Was THAT why Diane was so crazy? Diane seemed to be cool when Gordon Cole offered her a slot on the infamous Blue Rose team – investigating supposed paranormal encounters.

“Let’s rock.” Diane said, her index and middle fingers down.

Here is where I said “Something’s up.” You could easily explain her wayward associations with Mr. C, but those two words were uttered by The Man From Another Place in the original series. It’s not just a nudge-wink happenstance, it’s a deliberate clue from Lynch that something is off with Diane. And that comes to fruition twice as the series comes to a close. In part 14, we learn that Dougie Jones’s fingerprints match Cooper’s, and Diane reveals that Janey-E, Dougie’s wife is Diane’s half-sister. No simple coincidence, again.

In part 16 when the actual Cooper emerges from a coma (long story….), Diane receives another text from Mr. C. She goes to meet with Cole, Albert and Tammy and finally reveals what happened the night Mr. C came to see her. He raped her – and it affected her. Dern’s face telling this story is so genuinely pained and she just nails this. Then Diane begins to act odd….really odd, even for this show. She convulses and says “I’m in the sheriff’s station. I’m in the sheriff’s station. I sent him those coordinates, because…I’m not me.” Diane eyes the gun in her purse, Albert’s on edge and Diane pulls hers out only to be shot by Albert and Tammy before being whisked away by some unseen force. Tammy remarks she’s seen a real tulpa (a manifestation) and we cut to the Red Room in the Black Lodge. Yep, Diane was “manufactured.” But what about her cryptic statement “I’m in the sheriff’s station”? Well as luck would have it, we wouldn’t have to wait long to find that out.

In the finale of the series, we learn that the eyeless Naido who helped Cooper out of the Lodge and who Andy rescued, was actually our Diane. A quick fight took care of Mr. C and once the genuine article Dale Cooper lays eyes on Naido, she becomes our Laura Dern again and they kiss.

Then it gets weird.

Cooper pulls a Back to the Future Part II seeing the events of Fire Walk With Me play out – only this time he stops Laura Palmer from being murdered. We cut to the Black Lodge and Cooper and Diane are both there. Then they’re driving on a highway for 430 miles, cross over an electrical grid and check into a motel to have sex.

This is Diane’s final scene of the series and I love how Dern hearkens back to what she told Cole and the FBI earlier about her rape. You still see the pain and confusion on Dern’s face, especially because we’re unsure if this is OUR Cooper, Mr. C or a hybrid of the two. It’s such a fitting end for her work on one of the best shows of 2017, and her exit opens a whole new mystery.

The next morning, Diane’s gone and a note from “Linda” to “Richard” is left for Cooper and leaves us wondering if in a world where Laura Palmer has been saved – has absolutely everything changed? Is Dale Cooper now Richard and is Diane Evans now Linda? (Way more to say on this for a Twin Peaks fan theory thesis later, especially with the role of Carrie Page.)

I didn’t even need to see Laura Dern in Star Wars Episode VIII-The Last Jedi in her role as Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo to know it will be amazing. I knew that from the casting, from her stills with the late Carrie Fisher (something I’m eagerly looking forward to) and the gorgeous Annie Leibowitz photos in Vanity Fair revealing that gorgeous lilac hair. But upon seeing Rian Johnson’s masterpiece that has become the crown jewel for me and many other (but not all) STAR WARS fans, I got to see Dern cap her banner year off in the most fabulous and wonderful style.

When General Leia Organa is unconscious from a First Order attack on the Resistance, command falls to Holdo. Dern and Oscar Isaac’s Poe Dameron immediately clash, and it’s breathtaking to watch. Holdo wants to load unarmed transports to try and escape to nearby Crait – home of an abandoned Resistance base – and Poe so strongly disagrees with her that he mutinies and relieves her of command (only for himself to be relieved by General Organa stunning him). Holdo remains on ship while the remaining Resistance flee to Crait, and as the First Order begins firing on transport ships. Holdo decides to make a stand and engage the ship to lightspeed, directly at the First Order’s ships. Hyperspace jumps only work when a ship is totally free and clear to maneuver. So if a ship’s in the way, it’s not gonna be pretty.

And it isn’t. Rian Johnson shows the devastation in a soundless scene that cements Holdo’s beautiful and poignant sacrifice. Dern’s time in the Star Wars universe may have been brief but Holdo is a character anyone should be proud to look up to: willing to step up when it matters and sacrifice everything for the needs of the many (…Wait that’s Star Trek…)

Laura Dern’s 2017 is something that won’t be duplicated any time soon, and it’s a career testament to one of Hollywood’s best actresses finally getting the recognition she has beyond deserved.

[rastagong-tearoom]

Inspirational Blend #6: Dream Pop

Hello everyone,

Today's post is the very last one in a series where I reveal the inspirations behind Sylvan Disappearance.

Today, I'll be getting away from webcomics, novels and movies to focus on music! It is the first time I attempt to describe something musical in written words, which is difficult enough, but to spice it up, I chose the most nebulous kind of music genre: Dream Pop.

It is difficult to provide a pertinent definition of Dream Pop if you know nothing of it. The corresponding Wikipedia page, citing the AllMusic Guide to Electronica, tells us that it is:

“An atmospheric subgenre of alternative rock that relies on sonic textures as much as melody.”

This is in all good faith as close as we can get to a valid explanation, the key idea being: Dream Pop music means hazy, blurry textures which produce an impression similar to that of dreams. There is no pertinent instrumental or theoretical category, the genre is largely characterised by the subjective texture as it is experienced.

The definition is not exactly wrong in categorising Dream Pop as an alternative rock subgenre, but personally, I would say it is wiser to outright admit that it is not a very-well defined genre, that it comprises artists from very different backgrounds who can appeal to vastly different sensibilities.

Below are a number of Dream Pop artists and albums I particularly enjoy, along with a short blurb explaining what's so dreamy about their music.

In the course of the article, I provide links to listen to the music I mention on Youtube. If you'd prefer to listen to everything on your own, without having to read the article, I also provide the following playlist, which contains all the songs referenced here:

Julee Cruise

I personally fell into Dream Pop through Twin Peaks, that I watched for the first time last summer, at the time of the release of the 2017 Return of the series. It was a deeply moving experience in many ways, but one of the highlights was discovering the music of Julee Cruise. In the world of Twin Peaks, there's one bar and dancing just outside the titular town that is frequented by everyone —teenagers, small crooks and couples alike: the Roadhouse. The regular performer of the Roadhouse is Julee Cruise, a woman who sings love songs very softly. It is rare for the viewer to hear her songs in entirety, but usually, they're soft, slightly kitsch love songs. The scene on which Julee Cruise sings is usually lit in bright purple and red tones, with an iconic red curtain in the background, which produces an eerie, retro atmosphere.

Excerpt from Twin Peaks. Do not look at the comments if you haven't seen the show.

While watching Twin Peaks, it's easy to leave aside Julee Cruise's music, which serves an atmospheric purpose most of the time. However, Floating into the Night (1989) deserves to be listened on its own terms. It is arguably her most famous album, the one co-produced by David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti, who later had her perform it in various parts of Twin Peaks.

It is a very special album that I like listen from start to finish at nightfall. It is carried by Julee Cruise's singing, always lingering and slow, and by backing guitars and synths, which produces a very retro atmosphere. The albums hides both dark, melancholic moments, and lighter interludes. Depending on the song, the lyrics can be either sensual, pronounced through rose-colored glasses, or on the contrary, abstract, surreal and disturing —much like Twin Peaks.

If Floating into the Night was a dream, then it would be something at the border between nightmare and dreams; at the single moment where subconscious truths emerge from the night, and into your consciousness.

The Cocteau Twins

Most of the time, Dream Pop is strongly associated with its more famous neighbour, shoegazing. There is indeed a lot of overlap in both shoegaze and certain Dream Pop artists, in their common focus on atmosphere, and in their descendence from punk and psychedelic rock.

The work of the Cocteau Twins could be considered to be the most representative of this Dream Pop variant. In the 80s and early 90s, the Scottish trio enjoyed a large success in the UK alternative scene, like other artists under the independent 4AD label.

It is impossible to put in words the Twins' appeal. Fans will always tell you about the voice of Liz Fraser, the vocalist of the trio, but it is difficult to describe it. As for me, the least I could say is that ever since I started listening to them, a year ago, I gained access to a whole new dimension of existence. The Cocteau Twins offered me a new lens to view life through, and made it infinitely richer.

If you listen to them, you'll notice that in many cases, no words can be discerned in the singing of Liz Fraser, because it is not made out of words —it is a texture, something both abstract and yet so very life-like. But there is a great variety in their production. You'll find both haunting, Gothic songs like Alice, dark riffs like Blue Bell Knoll, and upbeat, light clouds like Cherry-Coloured Funk, which is also very beautiful in its breezy, alternative recording from a later album.

Since their breakup in the 90s, the Cocteau Twins have had a large influence on a number of contemporary artists, and gained a cult following. One of my favourite secret hobbies is to read about what the Cocteau Twins mean to their fans, in Youtube comment sections. There are plenty of anecdotes, often dating from the 80s, and they never fail to bring me a smile. If the Cocteau Twins were a dream, they would be a daydream; a soft fantasy which somehow finds a way into your daily life, and enriches it in ways that cannot be expressed.

Beach House

Beach House is a duo of musicians from Baltimore, in the USA. They might be the most popular contemporary band to fall under the Dream Pop umbrella.

On the surface, they're an indie pop band, but Victoria Legrand's soft singing, their simple synth melodies and their poetic lyrics makes their music sound as soft as velvet. They've just released 7, their latest album, but my favourite so far is their previous one, Depression Cherry.

If Beach House was a dream, it would be, in a straightfoward way, a pleasant fantasy dream.

Nicole Dollanganger

Nicole Dollanganger is an independent Canadian singer and songwriter. She has a very distinctive voice, both very soft and high, and writes songs with very simple lofi instrumentals, which clash with her bleak lyrics about emotional abuse, sexual and gun violence. The result is a dreamy, Gothic atmosphere from which transpires a lot of sadness underneath.

I am slightly obsessed with her 2012 album Natural Born Losers.

If she was a dream, Nicole Dollanganger would be an afternoon nightmare: it may start peacefully, but remain asleep long enough, and it will awaken long buried trauma, and leave you with a strange aftertaste upon waking up.

The Cranberries

I'm still sadder than I'd like to admit about the recent passing of Dolores O'Riordan, the lead singer of the Cranberries. I have a lot of memories associated with the band. I know I used to listen to Ode to My Family as a child, without knowing who the band was at all. Later, I got obsessed with Zombie like many teenagers. But it is only many years later that I re-discovered all of their music, and found out that some of their songs sounded like Dream Pop.

The last song I will leave you with is perhaps the best-known from Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We? which is the Cranberries' 1993 debut album. It's one of the songs I most listened to while writing Sylvan Disappearance, and its title, lyrics and aesthetics are quite self-explanatory: Dreams.