#can't make an omlet

[lady-wallace]

Even the Strongest: Whumptober Day 13 (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Gojo whump for today’s @whumptober prompt! And tired Nanami having to come to his rescue.

Prompt: Can’t Make an Omelet (fracture, ‘are you here to break me out?’)

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Character: Gojo

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Read on Ao3

Read on FF.net

Masterpost

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Gojo Satoru was a pain in his ass. Well, to be fair, Nanami wasn't alone in thinking that. Gojo Satoru was a pain in everyone's ass, which, coincidentally, was what made him a useful asset because that sentiment also extended to Curses and enemy sorcerers.

It was also what made it genuinely worrying when Gojo seemed to drop off the face of the earth.

It wasn't like Gojo was exactly good at telling anyone what he was doing, but when he had specifically been sent to look into an anti-Curse using group of sorcerers that had cropped up then one had to wonder. Nanami remembered what happened when he had fought Toji Fushiguro back when they were students—back before everything had gone to hell. What non-Curse users lacked in special ability, they made up for in arcane knowledge that was often extremely dangerous to both Curses and Curse Users alike. Not to mention their tendency to be able to collect the rarest weapons and talismans.

So, yes, as much as it irked Nanami to have to run off and fetch Gojo from his mission, he could understand the school's urgency when they had called him in.

He thought it had been a completely pointless venture by the time he got there and found the anti-Curse user's hub pretty destroyed. Looked like Gojo's work.

Nanami sighed and pulled out his phone, trying to call the other sorcerer again. Just like last time, there was the message that the number had been disconnected.

Nanami pressed his lips together and looked around some more.

There were actually traces of Cursed energy, probably remains from whatever fight must have ensued, so it seemed like Gojo had at least been there.

The question was, where was he now?

As Nanami searched the abandoned building, he began to pick up more traces of Curse energy. Weak, but there all the same. Nanami ventured further until he got to the part of the building that had taken the heaviest destruction.

The odd thing was that here there was no large traces of Cursed energy like there usually was after Gojo got done with a mission. In fact…

Nanami bent down to retrieve a grenade pin. There was a small warding tag taped onto the ring. Odd, he thought. Were these anti-Curse weapons?

The traces of energy were all but gone here, and Nanami was about to turn away when he came across something else in the rubble.

He bent to pick that up as well, dusting it off.

A black blindfold.

Nanami sighed, taking another look around. Where the hell could that idiot have gotten to? He found it hard to believe Gojo Satoru was actually dead. Even special grade Curses couldn't take him out.

He scuffed some gravel with his shoe and some of it trickled down a crack that was covered with a fallen support beam. Nanami frowned. Was there another level below this?

He pulled out his blade, picking a spot, and made short work of the rubble. He watched it crumble into the space below and then jumped down after it to look around.

He didn't get far before he heard a weak cough in the settling dust.

"Hey," the voice said. "You here to break me out?"

Nanami turned and saw a figure lying a little bit away, half buried under more rubble. Nanami quickly pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, holding it over the figure.

Gojo cringed away from the light, turning his head away. He looked…rough. An odd look on the untouchable Gojo Satoru. Face bruised, legs worryingly trapped beneath a pile of rubble. His upper body was bound by several straps with anti-Curse talismans carved into them. The kind that deactivated curse energy. Obviously the reason Gojo was currently trapped under concrete instead of being able to repel it with his Infinity.

"What the hell happened?" Nanami asked.

Gojo winced as he looked up at him, white hair matted with blood from an injury to his forehead. It seemed to make his unnervingly bright eyes even brighter. "Maybe I got a little cocky. They didn't like that much, so they neutralized my powers and tried to bury me alive—can you believe it? What assholes."

Nanami sighed, finding a spot to set his phone so they could have light. "Are you injured?"

Gojo grinned. "Aww, Nanami, sweet of you to care." He huffed and shifted with a wince. "Leg hurts pretty bad, honestly. Can you…maybe get me out of here?"

The strain in his voice told Nanami exactly how bad it was. Gojo wasn't used to hurting. He didn't so much have a high tolerance for pain as he just wasn't used to what it felt like.

"Hold on, I need to figure out the best way to do this without crushing you completely."

Gojo grunted and Nanami inspected the fallen rubble. There was one particular piece of concrete that was crushing Gojo's left leg, but that seemed to be the only one actually making contact. The rest seemed to have been stopped by a beam that had wedged itself sideways.

"How's it look?" Gojo asked.

Nanami didn't reply, intently studying the area, looking for the best place to strike and not have everything crush Gojo further. Honestly it would have been a lot easier to have another pair of hands, but there had been no one else available. It had been a rough month.

"Just stay still," Nanami said.

Gojo sighed and thunked his head back on the ground. "Not going anywhere."

Nanami pressed his lips into a tight line as he pulled out his blade. He targeted the spot and swung.

Debris crumbled harmlessly around, freeing Gojo's leg.

"Hey, thank—"

Before Gojo could finish, Nanami hurried to grab his shoulders and yank him away as the rest of the rubble came crumbling down. Gojo gave a surprised shout of pain, which turned into a cough as more dust flew through the air. Nanami waved it away as it settled, then stowed his blade and crouched next to Gojo.

"Get these off me," the injured man gasped, straining his arms against the straps binding him. Nanami saw for the first time that they had secured a sort of harness around his torso, binding arms and wrists alike tightly together behind his back in a way that would make it impossible to move.

"These can keep you from using your power?" Nanami asked curiously.

Gojo huffed. "Don't get any ideas. They're not fun, I promise."

Nanami sighed and started to unbuckle the straps, loosening Gojo's limbs. When he pulled them free, Gojo heaved a deep breath of relief, before he slammed his eyes shut and pushed a hand against his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Are you all right?" Nanami asked him cautiously.

"Mm," Gojo muttered. "My Six Eyes is coming back. It's kind of a trip when you've had it off for a while."

Nanami turned to his leg, and didn't like what he saw. It was definitely twisted at an odd angle, and there was some blood as well. Undoubtedly a compound fracture then. Nanami sighed wearily and stood. "We need to splint this."

Gojo seemed to realize his situation and finally looked down at his own leg, paling further, looking like he might actually be sick this time.

Nanami found some wood among the debris and started to unwrap his blade so that he could use the material for the splint.

"H-hey, looks like you might have to carry me out of here," Gojo muttered.

Nanami knelt and suddenly grabbed hold of his foot, squeezing through his shoe.

Gojo cried out. "God, Nanami! What the hell?"

"Good. You still have feeling in your foot, that means no nerve damage."

Gojo took a shuddering breath and forced himself up onto his elbows. "Yeah, well, it didn't hurt nearly so much until you started messing with it."

"Well, it's just going to get worse," Nanami told him blandly as he set the split materials aside and took a careful hold on Gojo's leg before ripping his pants up to the knee to better see what he was doing.

"Geez, buy me dinner first, Nanami," Gojo quipped woozily as he looked down at his leg. "Hey…that's not right is it?"

"No, it's not," Nanami informed him before grabbing the straps he had taken from Gojo earlier, handing them to him. "You might want to bite down on this."

Gojo stared at him. "You're not actually…"

"There's no point in splinting it crooked. I would suggest not wasting any more time arguing."

Gojo silently took the straps and folded them over, putting them between his teeth, laying back flat.

Nanami didn't make him wait. He prodded the injury briefly as Gojo made muffled protests, then efficiently moved onto resetting the leg.

The almost inhuman shriek from Gojo pierced his ears and he found he couldn't touch the other sorcerer again. Gojo must have activated Infinity in self-defense.

Nanami did actually feel bad for the man as he lay there panting, dust from the room sticking to the sweat on his forehead. He was staring straight up, fists clenched, fingernails digging into the ground, the straps still clenched in his teeth.

"Gojo," Nanami said after a moment. "I can't splint this if you won't let me touch you."

Gojo's eyes met his, wide and swimming with pain. Nanami had never seen him like this before and it did something to him. There was something unnerving about seeing this extremely powerful, cocky, man laid so low.

"The worst is over now," Nanami added, trying to do what he could to calm Gojo.

It was a long moment before Gojo seemed to relax, or rather run out of the little energy he had left. He slumped back onto the floor again, eyes sliding shut and the Infinity fell away, allowing Nanami to touch him again.

He quickly applied the splint as Gojo let out soft gasps and moans of pain, then sat back.

"Alright, let's find the way out of here. There's a staircase that doesn't look like it's blocked. Think you can stand?"

Gojo stared up at him balefully. Nanami sighed and reached down, first helping Gojo sit up and then putting one of his arms over his shoulders and getting a firm grip around his waist.

"Just keep your leg straight, I'm going to lift you in three. One…two…"

Nanami heaved Gojo upright and the man let out another cry, staggering on his one good leg as he leaned heavily on Nanami. Nanami had to adjust for the added weight, but steadied Gojo enough for him to stay upright without putting any weight on his injured leg.

Gojo clung to him tightly, panting, sweat actually pouring down his face.

"God, it hurts. Why the hell does it hurt so bad?" Gojo gasped, fingers tight in Nanami's coat, knuckles white. "I can't…it's not healing."

"Don't overexert yourself," Nanami told him. "Shoko will be able to do better than you will."

"You kidding? Her bedside manner's worse than yours," Gojo murmured.

Nanami grunted, getting an even firmer grip on the other man. "Ready?"

Gojo nodded tightly.

Nanami started them on the slow crawl to the stairs. Every hobbling step pulled a sound of pain from Gojo as he leaned more and more heavily against Nanami. But eventually they got there, even though Nanami had to practically carry Gojo up the stairs—and honestly at that point he thought it might have been easier to just throw the other man over his shoulder.

But they got to the top and out of the building. Gojo whimpered in relief as the car came into view.

"Just a little further," Nanami felt the need to reassure as he was supporting at least 99% of Gojo's body weight right now. The man was a lot more solid than he looked.

"Hey," Gojo murmured quietly, sounding exhausted and pretty out of it by this point. "Thanks for coming for me…Nanami." He took a deep breath. "For a while…didn't think I…was gonna…ya know. Ran out of…options."

The honest admission briefly sent Nanami for a loop. He had to double check that the man he was practically carrying was Gojo Satoru. It was so out of the ordinary that he began to feel his chest tighten with an unknown emotion toward Gojo. One he didn't normally reserve for the cocky sorcerer.

Sentiment was too much. But Gojo was his comrade, at most a brother in arms. Did Nanami respect him? No. His ideals were too far from what Nanami's were, and while he could admit that his teaching methods were effective, they left a bitter taste in Nanami's mouth who didn't condone putting students in danger the way Gojo did. The only thing that quelled his vitriol on that matter was the fact that he knew well enough that for all the danger he might throw his students into, Gojo would throw himself at something ten times more dangerous. Alone. Nanami had come to realize it might be more of a disconnect that led Gojo to make the decisions he did, than any inner malice. It would be difficult for someone who was essentially untouchable to comprehend how dangerous certain situations could be—case in point. So no, Nanami didn't necessarily respect Gojo as a man, but he did respect his powers—grudgingly—and how he used them. It would be stupid not to.

But now this admission of honest human weakness…maybe it did cause Nanami to have to admit just a little respect for the man. At the very least, he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed with Gojo at the moment. Though that might also have something to do with the fact that the white-haired man was pretty much passing out on his feet and didn't have the energy to be annoying.

"Did you really think we would leave you there?" Nanami asked him gruffly as they finally got to the car. He opened the passenger door and bent to slide the seat back before helping Gojo sit. "Don't be an idiot."

Gojo gritted his teeth as Nanami lowered him down and laid back gratefully in the seat, closing his eyes as Nanami adjusted his leg, lifting it carefully into the footwell. "No, I knew you'd come," he said, then one eye opened and there was a smirk turning up one corner of his mouth. "Wait till Shoko hears that you were so eager to get to me you started ripping off my clothes—"

Nanami slammed the door on him, feeling that small speck of respect instantly replaced with annoyance again. He grabbed his keys from his pocket as he reached for the driver's side door.

He supposed it was too much to ask that some things could ever change.

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[bokettochild]

I'm back.

This was for Mother's Day, but I had another thing out that day and couldn't finish this one in time. Then rewrote this one. then merged the drafts, then had to adjust things, but here it is and now Violet's Mother has a name :)

I hope you enjoy!

(Full fic below the cut if you want to read it here and not on Ao3)

Violet's Mother

  There are incidents and then there are Violet Incidents.  

  There are other kinds as well, Four supposes, but those are limited in their types and usually just fall under the bigger category of ‘incidents’, since most of those situations only happen once. 

  One could debate that the Violet Incident has only happened twice, others might agree that the thing in the bar that hasn’t let Warriors and Legend look each other in the face since was something else entirely. Four, however, finds it easier to classify it under the umbrella of ‘Violet Incidents’ which he and Wind have agreed are any incidents that involve Legend pretending to be a woman in order to save someone’s ass. 

  In hindsight, they’re kind of funny. 

  They’re even more funny when he doesn’t have to do anything except stand there. Legend does most of the work honestly, and they follow along. Wind has played a part of course, always backing up Legend’s stories or feeding the vet what information he needs to make a believable performance, but Four has been blessed with only having to perform two simple tasks, and between Vio and Red, they’re quite easy: cry, and cling to Legend the moment the vet comes within his view. 

  Okay, so maybe the first time they hadn’t been planning on that, but they were genuinely overwhelmed, tired, and fighting a migraine, so clinging to the vet had been the most wonderful thought in the world at the moment because he was warm and safe and they could hide their eyes for a bit in his shoulder and just breath for a moment while he held them. The second time was definitely acting though, although Red still enjoyed it. Red always enjoys when they can trick someone into hugging them. 

  Not that it’s tricking if Legend did it of his own accord, but still, Red likes feeling like he’s had something to do with it, so they let him. 

  There are side effects too, in Violet Incidents. Legend and Warriors are always so tired looking when it’s over, and the vet more often than not spends hours afterwards just staring at nothing for a while, looking done with the world in general until he eventually passes out and curls up against whomever he’s sharing a bed with that night. 

  Not Warriors though. Never Warriors. Warriors and the vet avoid each other when these things happen. 

  They have good reason to. Twilight, once he knows what these incidents are (aka, after the second one) has taken to teasing them incessantly, and encouraging the rest of them to do the same. The rancher seems to take extreme pleasure in being able to make the knight flush and sigh and Legend brighten like a tomato and start snapping at him with only a few simple words. And Time never stops the rancher. If anything, he leaves the situation alone. Well, after asking Warriors in a teasing manner if the vet was going to be his step-mother, which earned their leader a twisted ear and granted them the beautiful sight of their old man getting scolded. 

  Other than that particular time though, most of them know better than to push those particular buttons. Sure, Hyrule grins and giggles and Wild laughs his fair share in the moment, but the lot of them have the good sense to not tease the quartet involved. After all, Nayru only knows when the day may come when they may be the one in need of the vet’s acting skills to save their ass, and none of them want to give the other any reason to think saving them would be a mistake. 

  Except Twilight, but Twilight's already had his turn, the whole thing being born from Legend trying to cover their asses and draw attention away from the feral rancher. For that reason, Twilight seems to not worry about needing another save, and it’s only Legend’s frequent threats to muzzle him that keeps the rancher in any ways at bay. 

  Honestly, he didn’t think the man was such a tease! 

  As for themselves, Four doesn’t tease the vet. No, goodness knows if the others all knew how many times he’s been in a market or village trying to handle something and got mistaken for a child, they’d never let him live it down. Legend’s covered his ass countless times in those incidents, assuring that he won’t tell if Four doesn’t about how many times Violet and her mother have had to make appearances throughout time so that Four doesn’t get dragged off by some worried adult who thought they found an abandoned or lost kid. 

  By now, they can’t even count on both hands how many times they’ve had to call Legend “mom” to get out of some sort of trouble. A random village in an era they couldn’t place, a street at night heading back to their inn, a forest lane outside of a town while they were scouting ahead. Legend’s saved their ass so, so many times by pulling out the mother act since that first time in the captain’s era. 

  The era they are now in. Still. 

  The incident at the bar was only a week or so ago. After it had been over, the captain and veteran had been only too eager to leave the town, find the stalfos encampment and take it out. Not that it had actually been that simple; fighting stalfos is more dangerous, arguably, than fighting the average monster. First of all, stalfos have no blood, so there’s no way to guess if they’re infected. Secondly, stalfos screams have the capacity to temporarily stun most living beings, which had meant that all of them, minus Wild, had been at a disadvantage. Hyrule and Legend had poured every ounce of their magic into holding temporary shields around the rest of the heroes, and that had negated some of the damage, but only so much. Fortunately, their being in a forest meant that the chances of fairies lurking about was greatly increased, and most of their injuries had been healed within moments, only light bruising and some muscle soreness remaining. 

  Unfortunately, fairies can’t do much of anything for magical exhaustion. 

  Their magical users have been dragging since as a result, and although Hyrule has recovered somewhat, their vet has not, and according to the traveler, that would be due to the fact that Legend’s magic stores are uncommonly low, and he’s been drawing more on his magical core than is healthy. 

  That’s probably why, after they got the letter asking them to come to castle town, Warriors insisted on all of them stopping to rest at an inn before he went to see his princess. 

  That’s where they are now anyway. It’s their first morning back in Castletown and Warriors is already fussing with his clothes, hair, and armor, pulling himself together while simultaneously looking like death warmed over (those stalfos really got a lot of damage on the man) as he struggles to both drink his coffee for the morning and get ready. 

  Time, sighing, crosses over to help him. “Her highness will understand if you can’t be there first thing, captain, don’t push yourself.” 

  Warriors makes some noncommittal noise into his mug before settling it down and returning to attempting to buckle on his pauldron with hands that shake far more than usual. 

  Their leader bats said hand to the side, buckling the thing on himself. “Warriors, breathe.” 

  “I’m breathing, Sprout.” 

  “While not doing anything else.” 

  One perfect brow arches as royal blue eyes fix their leader in place. “So, no sitting, standing, laying, moving, shifting-” 

  “You know what I mean.” Comes the returning sigh, Time looking entirely done. 

  Wind, sitting beside Four on one of the beds, giggles, leaning over to whisper to them, “Time did this all the time to him during the war.” 

  “Time?” They can’t exactly believe that, but Wind nods, smirking as Wars does the same at the leader who cuffs him over the head for his impudence. 

  “Yep. The things Mask would get up to,” the sailor giggles, “they make Violet Incidents look tame.” 

  The room as a whole pauses, and the eight heroes within turn to stare at the sailor. 

  Legend, blessedly, is still asleep in their second room, and according to Hyrule, shows no sign of waking for at least another couple of hours. Magical exhaustion, the traveler had assured all of them, nothing to be too worried about, although the sooner they could find a potion to help restore the vet’s magic, the better. 

  “A what incident?” Twilight, because of course it’s Twilight, asks, grinning that troublesome smile that usually only gets turned on their captain but now focuses its full strength on Wind, even as Warriors drops his head into his hands and sighs. 

  The sailor chuckles, well aware, Four thinks, of what he’s doing. “A ‘Violet Incident’.” He explains. “An incident where Four has to pretend to be Legend’s and Wars’ daughter.” Their definition is different, but Wind spares them that. Or tries too anyway. It doesn’t work. 

  “So, the one earlier this week…” Hyrule’s eyes flit to Warriors, smile apologetic but eyes glinting. 

  “Four wasn’t involved in that.” Sky points out, not exactly helpfully. 

  Warriors’ head hits the wall. 

  Twilight snickers. “Yeah, that was all our vet and the captain.” 

  “Well aware!” 

  Even they can’t help but smile at the man’s misery. Warriors hasn’t looked at or talked to Legend since it happened, with the sole exception of checking in on him after the battle was over, when Legend had nearly collapsed the minute the last monster had fallen. Even then though, Warriors was a flushing and awkward mess and Legend himself was all too eager to assure the man he was fine, just tired, no the blood wasn’t his so please for the love of Hylia go bother someone else!  

  Four can’t say they’ve ever seen Warriors move so quickly. 

  “That,” Wind proclaims, folding his hands in front of him like Dot does when she’s trying to look dignified, “also qualifies.” 

  “How?” Comes the responding question, but of course Wind already has an answer because the true definition is based on the vet’s suffering and not Four's own. 

  “Because all ‘Violet Incidents’ require Legend. If Legend saves your ass by pretending to be someone’s mother and or wife, it qualifies.” And there’s the real definition. 

  There’s a short pause, during which most of them exchange glances, but then Sky asks what seems to be on the minds of all of them. “Then if the deciding factor is Legend, why are the incident’s named after Four?” 

  They glare. 

  “Four’s fake name?” The skyloftian corrects. 

  “Because,” Wind answers, shrugging, “Legend doesn’t exactly have a fake name. I mean,” and yes, the sailor’s grinning at Warriors, but the captain can’t see so it’s not like Wind is going to be held accountable for it, “other than Missus Taylor.” 

  “I regret telling you my last name,” Warriors groans, dragging a hand over his face as though he no longer gives a crap how he looks. Honestly, they’d be shocked if that was the first thing in his mind right now. 

  “You have a last name?” Hyrule breathes, startled. 

  “Everyone in my era does,” the captain explains, “there’s too many people to not. It gets confusing without. Now,” he claps his hands and turn to the rest of them, eyes dead and face almost Time’s disapproving glare, “we have other things to be doing today than speculating on what Legend’s ‘fake name’ should be.” The man stumbles just a bit while saying that, and Twilight chortles just a bit at the sound, earning him the full force of the captain’s stare, which, for once, actually does nothing. Still, the man continues. “Her highness has asked that I report to Hyrule Castle to explain… recent developments-” 

  “Meaning the news story about his marriage.” Hyrule whispers to Sky, just loud enough that the rest of them can hear.  

  Except Wars. Either the captain doesn’t hear, or he chooses to ignore it, because he just keeps speaking. “-and give her a progress report on our investigation. Time,” he turns to the man in question, “if you could come with me?” 

  “Of course.” As leader, the old man will need to be there to act as Warriors’ back-up and fill in anything the captain may or may not miss. Wars is good, but his focus is more analytical. Time may have noticed something outside of the captain’s report that he thinks will be important, and even if he hasn’t, having someone there to back Wars up is probably for the best. 

  “Twilight too,” their captain adds, turning to said rancher with a look that borders very closely on ‘open your mouth I dare you’. Their rivalry, or whatever they have between them, has always been interesting to watch, and while they’re closer to Twilight than the captain, in this case, they would take Warriors’ side, no questions asked.  

  After all, they suffer too when Twilight brings up ‘Violet Incidents’, and he’s been doing it frequently. 

  Still, that doesn’t exactly explain why the rancher needs to come. “Me?”” he asks, “why?” 

  “Because there’s a stack of paperwork sitting on my desk that is entirely existent because you can’t keep your teeth to yourself,” the captain growls. “If I have to suffer because of you, I’m dragging you down with me.” 

  “Sounds fair to me!” Sky chirps, pausing in doling out the breakfast Wild had made them. “What about the rest of us?” 

  Warriors’ face lightens dramatically as he turns from the rancher to Sky, smiling just a bit, still tired but genuine, at the younger knight. “You six are free to do what you want. I’d like to ask for as little chaos as possible, but knowing you lot, that’s out of the question. Still, maybe with the farmers out of the picture, civilized behavior has a better chance of prevailing.” 

  “I’m right here,” Hyrule teases, kicking his legs lazily as he perches on the other bed in the room.  

  “You,” Warriors grins, close enough to reach over and ruffle the traveler’s hair, which he does, “aren’t a farmer. You’re a feral little gremlin, but you also know how to not draw attention to yourself, which is really all I’m asking here.” 

  “So, we can do whatever we want,” the traveler surmises, “as long as we’re not caught?” His eyes glint wildly. 

  “And as long as you don’t break any major laws,” Warriors agrees, which seems to be a very loose request, but they can only imagine what Time and Wind have done to Wars in the past for his standards to be so low now, “then yes.” 

  They’re not even sure how to feel about the fact that Sky smiles at that. They don’t have time to figure it out though, because Warriors turns from musing Hyrule’s hair to stare at them and Wind, hand dropping to the bag at his belt for a moment before pulling out a smaller rupee pouch, not unlike their own. “As for you two,” the captain announces, “I have a request.” 

  Oh? What could the captain want? 

  The pouch is handed to them. Not tossed, handed; Warriors watching that it reaches Four’s hands carefully before he continues speaking. “Take this, and when Legend wakes up, because Nayru knows he’ll refuse to sit still until I get back, go out on the town and have some fun.” And then, to follow up while looking Wind dead in the eye “tame fun. Remember, vet’s still exhausted.” 

  They blink up at him. “Are you asking us to babysit Legend?”  

  The mere thought is laughable quite honestly. Legend, out of all of them, is the one least in need of someone to make sure he’s taken care of or behaving. Wild and Hyrule may be survivors, and Time and Warriors may be leaders, but Legend is a veteran, and he’s been doing this longer than any of them can imagine. Trying to tell anyone that the vet needs someone to keep him out of trouble is like… well honestly, they can’t think of anything more absurd than that. 

  Fortunately, that doesn’t appear to be what Warriors means, the man shaking his head at them with a small smile. A real, tired, but fond smile. 

  It’s the realest kind of Warriors smile, Red thinks. 

  “No, of course not. This is,” the man pauses, considering his words, “this is me trying to pay Legend back, in a way. I can’t do it by myself, but I know you two probably feel the same way, so I’m asking you two to handle it while I take care of things at the castle. Does that make sense? Take him by the market, grab lunch together. Tell him it’s on me.” 

  That’s... Pretty generous. More so when they open the bag and see how much is inside.  

  “Holy shit!” Wind starts, whipping up to stare at the captain. “I thought you were broke!” 

  The man laughs, reaching over to ruffle blonde curls. “I was, in Legend’s Hyrule, because I hadn’t been paid in months. Arty sent this with her summons though.” 

  “This is your paycheck?” 

  “A fraction of it,” the captain smiles, lopsided and warm. “I get paid pretty well, being a soldier and a hero and all.” 

  “I wish we got paid,” someone sighs, playfully dramatic. 

  They kind of wish they did too, but they’re pretty sure the only reason Warriors is, is because he joined them by assignment of his princess, unlike the rest of them who kind of just went through the portals of their own accord when they appeared in their eras. They’re not complaining though. Since Warriors is technically on assignment, when he’s paid, he’s often been the one to foot the bill for things like inn rooms, potions, and supplies, citing it as “mission expenses” which he’ll be paid back for later. 

  It works for them. 

  “So, will you do it?” They forgot he’s still waiting for an answer. 

  Wind, however, has not. “Sure thing, cap’n.” A playful salute joins the words, and they mimic it because, why not? “We’ll do our best to give the vet a great time!” 

  “Good,” another hair ruffle, and then one for them too, “I knew I could count on you two,” the captain beams. 

  They’re not sure how they feel about the warmth that blossoms up inside them at the sight. 

  “What about us four?” Wild protests, playfully offended. 

  “Us Four,” they correct, pointing to themselves. Time is the only one to chuckle. 

  Ah well, one day they’ll get the joke. 

  “The rest of you,” Warriors answers, straightening up, and goddesses does he look regal when he’s standing at his full height, all made up to go to the castle, “are to stay out of this.” The man’s brow furrows, disapproval and judgment clear and making Green want to smile. “I don’t trust you to not tease the vet about why I’m thanking him.” 

  Which is fair, all things considered, what with all the teasing from Twilight. Again, most of the others know better, but only when it comes to Legend, and Warriors can’t escape it, so it would make sense he’s wary about what it’s like when he’s not around. 

  No one contests it though, the three eldest depart without a hitch later that morning. Shortly after, Sky and Hyrule decide to head off into town to pick up some more potions and explore the area. To their surprise, Wild seems more interested in staying here at the inn, organizing his inventory and taking up nearly all of one of their two inn rooms to do so. 

  That’s okay though. They head to the other room, Wind on their tail, and sit and discuss where to go until Legend eventually blinks awake. 

  The vet, true to the captain’s prediction, has no intention of staying in. In fact, he seems pretty ticked that he’d not been included in planning the day with the rest of them and that he has to be filled in after nearly everyone else has left. He’s also ticked at himself for sleeping in, but Wind doesn’t let that last long.  

  Wind, bright, sunshiny Wind who everyone knows Legend has a soft spot for, quickly diverts Legend’s attention by telling him that they want to go to the market and could he please, please come with them? All the other adult heroes are busy and while Four can, no one will believe that Four’s not a kid. 

  Once upon a time, they would have had some words on that topic, but in the wake of the Violet Incidents, there is now overwhelming proof that Wind is, tragically, correct. 

  “Fine,” Legend agrees, looking away from Wind’s pleading gaze (which can out match even Red’s somehow, quite amazingly). “Let me get dressed first at least, kiddo, yeesh.” 

  Wind waits exactly as long as it takes for the vet to throw on the rest of his clothes before grabbing ahold of the man’s hand, and then Four’s own, and all but dragging them to the door. 

  They laugh, and Legend chuckles just a bit, holding onto his hat as he lets the youngest of their group direct him out of the door and towards some street or another. 

  They have to remind themselves that Wind used to live in this world, for a short while, and does, in fact, know where he’s going. They’re not going to get lost. 

  And they don’t. Wind leads them to the market, and while Legend seems skeptical at first about spending a day “just shopping and having fun” he accepts it eventually, mostly after they convince him that Warriors is paying and there’s not anything else for them to do. 

  They do have fun too. Legend apparently has never tried doing this before, but between their own efforts and Wind’s, they manage to take the elder hero about the town to a few shops and stalls. The bookshop is their favorite, and Legend’s too, or so they had thought, but once Wind takes them to an odds-and-ends store they know in an instant, and are quite right, that it has the vet’s full attention faster than anything off the battlefield.  

  Somehow, from there, it becomes a contest. They don’t exactly say as much to each other, but Wind and Four are competitive, and it’s only natural that they begin to make a game out of who can find a place that will make Legend’s eyes blow the widest or smile tilt just a little more towards genuine. 

  It’s fun. Not just the competition, but just… spending time with Wind and Legend.  

  They play a few games (learning in the process that Legend’s a crack shot at the archery booth), visit more than just a few shops, which, surprisingly allow them to mess around a bit. It’s Legend who suggests they pop into a costume shop, “for fun” and though they don’t buy anything (well, they don’t, but Legend certainly does), the three of them do have a lot of fun trying things on. 

  Honestly, they’ve never seen Legend smile as wide as when they were in there. Messing around, playing, being silly. For someone who can’t meet Warriors eyes after pretending to be his wife, Legend is surprisingly open to dressing in even the most ridiculous of outfits. 

  “You should see the ones I have at home,” the vet chuckles, wriggling back out of a pumpkin costume that Wind had dared him to try on. Four has no clue why the thing exists, but Wind had begged to take a photo to tease Twilight with and the vet had happily obliged. 

  Wind eyes sparkle as his picture prints out and he looks it over, but more so as they look up to their older brother. “Really? What’s the craziest one you have?” 

  The fact that Legend has to pause and think, and then checks himself each time he tries to answer, definitely says something. In the end though, the vet shrugs, smiling as he accepts the next ridiculous costume that Four hands him. “Quite frankly, I don’t think I could name just one. They’re all pretty bizarre.” And he promises, when they ask, to let them see sometime. “Probably not until we’re at the ranch though, or my house.”  

  Still, that’s better than nothing. 

  “Can I take photos of those ones too?” Wind asks, readying his picto-box for another picture, this time with Four as the smithy finishes pulling on the silly hat he’d found in one of the boxes around the shop. 

  Legend laughs, bright and clear and hilariously squeaky. “Sure, sailor. Whatever makes you happy.” 

  “Well in that case-” and whatever dastardly thought the teen has is cut off by the sound of his stomach, making the younger flush slightly. 

  Legend’s face softens just the slightest bit, smile more a smirk now, but the usual one, not the mean one. It’s Legend’s normal playful-face. “Shall we get lunch next then?” 

  “I think,” Four corrects, “that would be ‘brunch’. I know you haven’t eaten anything yet at least.” 

  “Two gremlins pulled me out of the inn before I had the chance.” The words are delivered with a tweak to their ears that makes Four squeak.  

  They leave the shop shortly after. Legend had found a bunny themed outfit that he claimed was “too Ravio not to buy for him” and so they’d visited the counter briefly. The man there, an elderly fellow, smiles at them as he rings them up, handing over the outfit with a wink. “It’s so nice to see a lovely family like yours in here. Do come again!” 

  They don’t think anything about the fact that he gives them a discount either, a bargain is a bargain as Legend always says, but then they reach the restaurant that Wind’s been insisting is “the best in all Castletown!” and they’re met with a similar sentiment, although this time in far more familiar phrasing. 

  “How lovely,” the lady at the front greets as the two smaller heroes drag Legend inside, the vet still smiling just a bit, “welcome in, folks!” And then she does the most infuriating thing and leans over to look him and Wind in the eyes, smiling condescendingly at them. “Have you two brought your mum in for our Mother’s Day special?” 

  And, well… they kind of have. They didn’t know there was a special of course, but once again, a deal is a deal and while Legend isn’t exactly their mom… 

  It doesn’t really matter. Especially not when someone at another table looks around and spies them, and immediately starts waving. “Hello there, Missus Taylor! Hello Violet!” 

  Green, internally, groans as they are recognized. Fortunately, Red takes the forefront and waves back, smiling shyly to the lady at the table and earning a soft coo in return. 

  “Missus Taylor?” The greeter starts slightly, standing up straight and looking Legend in the face, all surprise and chipperness even as the vet flushes a bit and tries to offer a smile. “Why, it’s an honour, madame! Your husband has done so much for all of us! Please, wait just a moment and I’ll get you a table as soon as possible!” 

  As soon as possible, it would seem, turns out to be within a few minutes, during which Wind and Four share a look and agree as one to apologize once there aren’t so many eyes on them. 

  This was supposed to be a day to make up for Legend having to play this role, not another Incident. It would seem, however, there’s not much chance of escaping these sorts of things. 

  “Should we go somewhere else?” Wind asks, glancing up at the vet as the lady from the front comes to lead them towards the back. 

  The veteran looks exhausted, but he shakes his head. “It’s not the end of the world. You said the foods good, right?” 

  It’s telling that he doesn’t complain more. 

  They make a note to make sure and pick up some magic potions before leaving- No, to stock up on potions to keep on hand. Maybe if Legend’s magical core is in better shape he will be too, and they owe him at least that much after what he does for them. And since apparently paying him back means taking up the role again, they kind of owe him even more now. 

  The place is nice at least. It’s rustic and charming, and checkerboard tablecloths are spread over little wooden tables throughout the room, stools set around and flowers sitting in centerpieces all around. They’re all made up of roses right now, with little decorated place cards that say “Happy Mother’s Day”.  

  The place is stuffed full, and there’s not much room between the tables, but they’re given one in the back, out of the worst of the bustle and shouting between patrons. They’d guess the table is probably kept aside for special guests, and for once, thank the fact that they’ve been mistaken for Warriors’ wife and kids because apparently the man has enough celebrity status to be given VIP treatment without a second thought. 

  “You’re right, this place is pretty nice,” Legend observes, still smiling that tired, but real smile as they settle down and the server assures them she’ll be right back to get their orders. Legend’s smile and Warriors’ have the same qualities these days, warm and weary, but genuine, and they’re glad to see it even if they do wish it was the bright and playful thing from the costume shop. 

  “Wars used to bring us here when the war was over,” Wind informs them, glancing over the carefully hand-written menu that’s been left on the table. 

  “He did?” 

  “Yeah,” the sailor glances around absently. “They were still trying to figure out how to send us all home, so in the meantime he took Time and I, and a few other friends, here to have dinner. The food is the best.” 

  “Any recommendations?” And there’s the playfulness they were hoping to see.  

  Wind grins right back, cocking his head on one side as he considers. “I know I’m always partial to the sea food dishes, but knowing your taste…” they’re not sure if Wind closes his eyes in thought as a conscious action or not, but it’s really kind of cute, “I think, this will please you.” And the sailor points to the listing for some sort of rich stew and savory bread that’s on the menu. 

  They take a look for themselves and when the server comes back they all have their orders, although Legend is the one who makes them, since apparently he is, once more, their mother today. 

  On Mother's Day. 

  The irony is sort of killing them, and Vio is having trouble not making them smile. 

  It gets harder still when the lady taking their order smiles and tells them that their current Mother’s Day special includes a half-off meal for mother’s and a free dessert. “Kids under ten eat free as well!” 

  And well, a deal is a deal, right? And Wind did say it first! 

  “I’m eight!” Red pipes up, “does that mean I count?” 

  “Yes, of course.” The woman beams at them, and then glances up to Wind expectantly. 

  The sailor flushes, mouth opening- 

  “My big brother is fourteen!” Red continues. Because yes, this is, in a way, a slight vengeance against the sailor for getting them involved at the market in his world. To cover a theft no less. By pirates, as Blue was only too frustrated to hear. 

  Their whole thing before being known as a hero was that they handled pirates, and knowing they aided in a raid, in any small way, triggers just the slightest bit of frustration with the most outspoken of their facets. 

  “Alright then!” The server chirps, and then recounts their order, offers Four another adoring and extremely condescending smile, and then heads off to the kitchen. 

  Legend chuckles. “Really F-”  

  “Violet,” Wind corrects softly, glancing around warily. 

  The vet pauses, checking himself before nodding and repeating, now corrected, with what he was going to say. “Really, Violet, you aren’t going to let your brother eat free?” 

  Dang, if Legend slipped form his role, he really must be tired! They’ve seen him play their mother half-asleep and with his eyes shut! 

  They, however, are perfectly capable of staying in character, which is definitely why they stick their tongue out at the sailor. Definitely. 

  Legend laughs, soft and warm, and shakes his head. “You two. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” 

  It’s honestly such a mom thing to say that they’re not sure if the vet is acting or being serious. 

  And hey, they weren’t exactly planning on acting during their meal, but also, they aren’t exactly? Red is sort of just taking the lead and rather than being reserved as they normally would be, they just sort of… let themselves be silly. They let themselves drop the mature adult facade and be a kid because, hey, Violet is supposed to be eight, right? They can act like a kid and no one, not even the vet or Wind, will think twice of it! 

  And Wind is doing the same thing. The sailor isn’t trying to act like an adult either, or prove himself, and, even though they’re sort of supposed to be here to help the vet relax, it kind of feels like they’re the ones getting a break too here. 

  Well, until some kid starts insulting the vet. 

  “Who are you?” It’s some child from the table next to theirs, watching them with wide eyes and a little pout of thought on their face. The boy would almost be cute, they think, if not for the haughty look he keeps shooting at them. 

  “I’m Violet.” Red answers back, and barely contains a giggle because, hey, that’s what Blue used to call Vio when he was mad at him! 

  The other boy glances over at the vet and sailor, who are currently looking up at the wall decor around them and exchanging thoughts on it.  

  Artists. They’re not sure what they expected.  

  “Who are they?” 

  “That’s my momma and my big brother.” They’re almost tempted to complete the nonsense and name Wind as their big sister, but apparently the sailor is about as well known in this time as its own hero is. 

  The other child smirks. “That’s your mom? She’s tiny!” 

  Considering the child’s own mother- or who they presume to be his mother considering she’s sitting with him- is a very tall and muscular looking woman, the kid does have a bit of a point. Still, as someone with a height problem themselves, they’re not about to accept someone mocking their mother- er- brother. “She is not!” 

  “Is so.” 

  Are they really arguing with a child? 

  Yes, Blue declares, yes they are. 

  “Well,” they cross their arms as they stare down the distance between their two tables at the other child, “that’s just because she’s compact awesome.” An excuse that their father has murmured many a time in teasing tones to them, usually while tugging their hair, but which they’ve grown sort of attached to. 

  The vet spares them a short, very confused, glance. 

  The other child, the boy, glances at the vet again, staring for a very long while before shaking his head. “No.” 

  “She is.” They tilt their chin up just a bit, flashing a grin.  

  “My mom is cooler.” 

  Excuse? 

  “Not possible,” they smirk, “my mom can fight a lynel.” 

  “My mom’s a soldier.” 

  “My mom fought Ganon.” 

  “My mom fought Cia.” 

  Okay, now this kid is really getting on their nerves. It’s not even that they have anything against the woman seated at the other table and happily chattering with some other adults. They’re sure she might be an amazing person, all told, but something inside them is insisting- nay, demanding, that they not allow this slander to stand. 

  “Well, my mom can do magic.” 

  The other child’s eyes widen just a bit, glancing at the vet who is subtly watching them with a look of confusion on his face. Heck, even Wind is staring, mouthing a silent “what are you doing?” to them. But they’ve taken the steps and they’re not exactly about to let a child best them. Or insult the vet.  

  Said child, however, seems to hold similar convictions, looking back at them with a scowl on their little face. “Nuh uh.” 

  “She can,” they grin. “She can make plants bloom and die and she can talk to animals.” They have seen the vet do stuff like that after all. “And,” they continue, smirking as they look down their nose at the kid (and should they really be feeling so satisfied they can look down on a child?) “my momma can use holy magic.” 

  “Prove it!” Comes the little terror’s squeaking reply. 

  They scowl back. “Why, can’t your mama do magic?” 

  The pout on the child’s face would imply that no, their mother is not, in fact, capable of that. 

  Four grins. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. Can your mama sing like a bird? Mine can.”  

  The kid glances up at their mother, who’s deep laughter rings over the restaurant as she continues talking with another woman. He very much doubts the woman sings very sweetly. Oh, she may have a nice voice, but it’s not siren song quality. 

   “My momma can.” They continue, sitting back on their stool and grinning wider. “She sings like an angel to help us all sleep. And my momma gives the best hugs.” A little boney, to be sure, but the few times the vet has hugged them, usually while acting, it came with the overwhelming weight of his magic settling over them in a protective barrier. That was one of the two reasons they’d so eagerly climbed into his arms during the first ‘Incident’. The second was exhaustion and a migraine, but the magic had helped that too. They’re being honest though. In this group, it’s rare to get a hug from the others. Except Wind, but Wind is a kid and they feel responsibility when hugging him. Legend’s hugs don’t make them feel responsible for someone, they make them feel like it’s okay to not be responsible for a little bit. 

  “She really does,” Wind pipes up, apparently deciding he’s getting in on this now. “It feels like all scary stuff just melts away when our mom hugs us.” 

  They’re not sure if they’re imagining the flush on the vet’s face or not as Wind beams at the man. Regardless, though, the vet coughs softly, a silent request for them to leave the situation alone. 

  As proved in the past, many, many times, they are not good at following orders. 

  “Our mama makes stuff for us too. She fixes all our broken things and shows us how to do it too, so we can know stuff.” 

  “And she-” and well, they kind of just wrack their brain for every single thing they can think of that they like about Legend, or things that he can do or has done, and they watch the other kid’s pout turn more and more prominent even as Legend’s face turns progressively more and more red. It’s almost a game, again. Wind is grinning and they’re smiling back, and while there’s a third competitor here, that competitor is clearly losing as the two young heroes go back and forth trying to see who can make the vet flush the darkest with their praises of him. 

  And maybe, this isn’t exactly what Wars meant about showing Legend their appreciation and thanks, but it’s the thought that counts, right? And maybe the soft little smile the man hides behind his hand means that the vet does appreciate it, even if he’s all flustered by how they express their thanks. 

  There’s no audience this time, which makes things easier. There’s no crowd of people watching and judging. In the moment, there’s only a mere child to stand against and speak to, but it feels like the best performance they’ve ever given. Well, other than their treachery, but that was all Vio and this one is more Blue and Red.  

  It’s a pity, they mourn to themselves, that more people aren’t witness to this particular act. That they can’t share the flushing face of their big brother and the pout of the child and the grins on the faces of Wind and themself with all of the others. They think Warriors at the very least would enjoy seeing it. And Hyrule too, Hyrule loves to praise the vet. And Sky, Sky would love nudging Legend with one of those grins as he watches the other hero flush, teasing softly and telling him that it was all true and he shouldn’t get embarrassed, only to earn a kick under the table or some such response from a most likely wordless hero. 

  The only audience they have, instead, is the mother of the other child, who looks up after a moment, smiling at them and then turning to Legend with something warm and kind. “Somebody’s been making an impression on her little ones,” she compliments, warm and rich and sweet and so kind as the vet starts to look at her. Her smile is bright and even for her size she exudes a sense of warmth and safety as she winks at their vet. “Sounds like you're doing a great job there. Your kids love you very much, don’t they?” 

  The vet, somehow, flushes deeper, even as Four and Wind make a point of loudly agreeing with her that “yes, she’s the best mom ever!” and “she’s awesome!” even as the vet reaches a hand to rub at the back of his neck in that familiar nervous tick that they all have. 

  “I try.” 

  “You’re doing great.” The woman laughs, “Miss?” 

  The vet starts a bit, and they’re not sure how he somehow pulls a name out on the spot, but he did that for them too. “Kit.”  

  “You’re doing great, Kit,” the other mother praises, winking, and then turns back to her own child and reminds him to turn around and eat his meal. 

  Their own meal arrives shortly after, but Legend’s face is so busy hiding in his hands, ears burning red, that he doesn’t seem to notice until the younger heroes are very nearly through with their food. 

  He denies it all later. Won’t talk about it, won’t hear a word about being “touched” except to roll his eyes and call them touched in the head, all while another flush settles over him at the mere thought. 

  When Warriors asks how it went though, they tell him. They may or may not take especial pleasure in recounting the compliments and the flushing and the “other mom’s” encouragement, but it draws another of those real smiles to the captain’s face, earns some rich laughter and trembling shoulders as blue eyes lift for the first time in forever to settle on the figure of their vet, sitting across the room and working over his sword. 

  When they glance back though, following the captain's gaze, they’re greeted with the sight of Legend smiling softly to himself, flushed, but they can tell somehow that he’s pleased. 

  All in all, they’d call their mission successful. 

  And on Mother’s Day of all days too. Even Warriors can’t deny the humor of that. 

[letsgetreadytotumble]

2023 TUMBLR LITTLEST MEOW MEOW COMPETITION ROUND 3: LAWYERINATOR

THEY'RE WAHSED UP BUT THEY'RE NOT DOWN! THEY'VE GOT A DAUGHTER AT HOME AND BILLS TO PAY, SO MOVE OVER CAUSE I'TS TIME TO PLAY!

YOU CAN'T MAKE AN OMLETE WITHOUT CRACKING A FEW EGGS AND YOU CAN'T BE A MEOW MEOW WITHOUT A SCORE TO SETTLE!

GET A FEW YEARS UNDER YOUR BELT AND EVERYDAY IT FEELS LIKE YOU WAKE UP TO A BLAST FROM YOUR PAST, WHETHER IT'S A SUPRISE WITNESS OR SUDDEN TRAUMA FLASHBACK!

IT'S THE PARROT'S WORD VS. THE PLATYPUS'S LACK OF WORDS IN DETERMINING WHICH OF THESE TWO TROUBLED TRY-HARDS IS GOING TO THE LITTLEST MEOW MEOW SEMIFINALS!

[juzorei]

INTERNET BROKE, PEOPLE DIED THROWING THEMSELVES OFF THE WINDOW!

WE BELIEVE IN P'AOF ! 😭🛐🤌🏼

This Ep was soooo sooo good. Actually I admit that I was worried if we wont get any more PatPran. But P'Aof just slapped my face and said "surprise mf!"😭🤌🏼❤ Thats why I love that man. WE CANT EXPECT HIS MOVES I SWEAR!

This was so cute scene. Them making breakfast and all. PRAN MADE OMLETE FOR PAT. YOU GUYS GET IT?! JUST LIKE NON MADE OMLETE FOR OHM IN SAFE HOUSE. Oh my god I dont know if it's sound crazy of me but I AM NOT LEAVING THE TINIEST BIT OF SIMILARITY OF PATPRAN AND OHMNON.

Planting and naming it Pat and Pran's love sprout and fist bumbing. I LOVE THEM. THEY ARE SO AAAHHHHHHH!!!! PatPran is simple yet they are very special. They have this something that only they have. I dont even make sense now. GOD I even doubt my existence after this.

I kinda had an idea that Pat and Pran will play themselves in the play as Tian and Chief. BUT HELL I HAD NO IDEA THEY WILL CHANGE THE ROLE. But common again!! ITS PATPRAN!!! Once again they just broke everything and said there is no top bottom in our relationship!! Sheesh I love that fucking so much!! AND MY BEST BOYS KORN AND WAI!! I am now sure that they are the biggest PatPran shippers. They volunteered to make sure that we are fed well with PatPran kiss.🤣❤ I love how Korn's and Wai's relationship got better to the point they became the besties🤣😂❤ Look at them giving a demo of kiss to PatPran😏😌❤

Yes I miss them so much already and Im gonna miss them forever. But Im so happy. This journey of love has been the best thing happened in my life. Sometimes ill wonder what if I never came across this BL world. I can't imagine that cuz I cant imagine a life without PatPran. I was at my worst when I met PatPran. They became my comfort zone and still they are. They will always be my comfort zone. I am happy that we got to see PatPran story. Im happy and thankful that they allowed us to experience everything with them. We laughed, cried, smiled, screamed and did so many things with them. They gave us a whole lifetime memory. And im gonna hold that memory close to my heart, forever.

Now it's time to send PatPran back to their own world. It's a goodbye yet not a goodbye. Thank you P'Aof, Ohm, Nanon, Jimmy, Drake, Love, Milk, Mark and every single one that made Bad Buddy happen. Everyone!

Ohm and Nanon made PatPran come to life at its best. Like perfectly. The best version of PatPran. Im saying this again that only they can do PatPran. No one else.

I LOVE YOU PATPRAN AND WILL MISS YOU BOTH!❤😭

[gbee-writes]

"I don't love you." Hero said.

Villain nodded a little, as much as they could with their head crushed into the pavement. The boot keeping them down was covered in grime and the rain had caused puddles so it trailed down their face and made their skin crawl.

"Yeah, thats pretty clear."

A hum came from above. "I don't like the thought of arresting you though."

"I'm pretty against that idea as well, believe it or not." Villain deadpanned.

They hissed as Hero's boot pushed down harder as Hero leaned forwards to get a better view of her captive.

A moment of silence lapsed as they watched each other, Villain with all the fury of a feral dog and Hero with a strange impassiveness. Finally Hero glanced up to the street as if she would find anyone else there.

"Do you know why I don't want to arrest you? It's not love, no. It's need."

"Hey this is going in a direction I don't like-"

"Not lust you imbecile! I'd rather a cactus than you." Hero spat at them. "I need you. You're the only villain in this stupid town: without you I'm obsolete. Ever since my transfer I've been agonizing over this."

Villain's breath hitched. This was an opening, the Hero had practically just given them a free pass. If they played their cards right...They smirked.

"Shame that. You going to drag me to the station now?"

"Someone could take your place but in a town this small?" Hero continued as if Villain wasn't there.

"Not likely. Anyway: the station?"

Her eyes shifted down and there was a hungry light in them that sent shivers down Villains spine.

Hero's breath was shallow. Panic maybe?

"I need them to like me Villain. If you're gone they have no reason to keep doing that. I'll be a waste of their tax dollars. They'll...they'll turn on me Villain."

A sickening, burning glee was building. Hero was displaying her weakness in full! And in her desperation she wasn't thinking about getting re-transferred if Villain was arrested. It was better than they had even hoped.

Villain snorted. "Yeah, I guess they will. They've got low standards though. Everyone was overjoyed when you took down only one of three schemes this last month. I bet you’ll get a parade for arresting me. You know, before they realise they don't want you anymore."

Just as Villain had wanted, a spark of fear showed in Hero's face. They snorted again before looking away. "I can't let them do that."

"What, a parade?"

"Stop wanting me." Hero grit her teeth.

Villain shrugged a little. "I mean, you'd have to let me go to stop that."

"I can't do that either." She sounded absolutely appalled. "I can't, I took an oath to protect."

"Can't protect if there's nothing to protect from." Villain mused.

They let the conversation lapse, letting the words marinate in Hero's head. Letting their hooks sink deep.

Several emotions flickered on Hero's face. Her loose posture had gone stiff and her body had a subtle tremble.

The fear really ate her and Villain could tell. Whatever caused such a desperate want for approval had to have been traumatic. Villain found joy at that. If it was deeply rooted enough they could have the hero tight in their grasp for quite a long time.

A surprised gasp slipped from Villain's lips as Hero's boot lifted.

She stepped back so Villain could stand. Unease plastered her features. "I need you."

Villain gave her one of their best honeypot smiles. "I'm willing to make a deal that benefits both of us, if you're willing to let me crack some eggs for this omlet."

Hero hesitantly met their eyes. "I- but-" Hesitation, fear, shame. "...okay...okay, let's make a deal."

"Yes!" Villain clapped their hands with a small chuckle. "They'll love you your whole life, I'll make sure of it."

[arson-the-clown]

Prompt 1: "Stay For Me" Wally Darling (Welcome Home)

"Stay for me" his eyes were as wide as dinner plates, as they always were, as they stared into my own

My chest hitched as he said them. His voice was surprisingly soft for someone who was ususally so boisterous. I floundered for a moment already hating the words that had to come out of my mouth.

"Wally, I can't. You know I can't."

Much to my dismay, he immediately became crestfallen "But neighbor, why? Don't you love our little town? All our other friends in the neighborhood? They most certainly love you!"

Thoughts of the day rushed through the forfront of my mind. Watching Eddy tease Frank and the way Frank stammered and became flushed. Chatting with Mr Piller outside of his little store. Being nearly crushed in Barnaby's great arms as he gave me a hug. Poppy and Juilie laughing together in the afternoon sun, Sally skipping down the street beside them. And Wally, dear sweet Wally introducing me to all of them with a beaming smile and such pride! More than anyone had ever shown in me before.

As much as I wanted to stay here with them all and live each day in this colorfun world of fun, where nothing bad ever happens, I simply knew I couldn't. And for that my heart broke. And for the expression on Wally's face, standing in the setting sun with his hand on Home's doornob and the small expanse of space between us.

"Wally, I loved today. I love all of our friends. I love the Neighborhood. But for as much as I wish I could, you know I can't stay here." My voice cracked as the last words left my mouth.

He seemed to go through an array of emotions all in a moment. Anger, then sadness, then nothing at all. "Why not?"

That startled and confused me "Why not? W-wally you know why not. I'm not like you all. Look at us. You are made of felt and fluff and fabric, brought to life in the magical world by something I don't understand. I'm flesh and blood and bone. As much as I may wish to god that I was like you and the others, that simply can't happen."

As I talked the more impossible to read his experssion got. Wally looked down at his nice leather shoes. He lingered there for a moment before swiftly letting go of Home's doornob and closing the space between us. The moment he let go, Home's giant eyes shifted downwards to look at me. They felt cold, hostile somehow.

That feeling only got worse as Wally took me by the hand and got down on one knee. There was something different about his eyes. I couldn't place it, but something about this whole situation suddenly felt off, uncanny. "How about a modest proposal then neighbor?"

I took a shaky breath "How's that?"

"Why don't we have a sleepover?!" He smiled widely "At least stay a little bit longer before you have to go! I understand if you want to go home and I know you see us as being very different, but please neighbor give me the opprotunity to show you that we aren't as different as you think!"

My brain seemed to lag. A slumber party? I couldn't fathom how that would solve anything. It wouldn't make me felt. It wouldn't make my new friends human. And yet...and yet was I foolish enough to pursue this venture? I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. I looked at Wally. His excitement, his smile, all seemed the same as they had all day. Had I imagined the weird vibes a moment ago? I looked up and Home seemed to smile and welcome me in with it's whole structure.

Wally stood up again, easily towering over me, pulling my hands into both of his and up to his chest "Oh please neighbor say yes! We can order pizza and watch movies all night and I can tell you everything about everyone here! And I'll make you breakfast in the morning, pancakes and bacon and omlets! I'm a great cook I promise!"

That broke me down enough to get a giggle out of me "Okay, okay, Wally. You've wittled me down. I guess staying for one night couldn't hurt. Gosh you're hard to say no to."

I don't think he could have possibly smiled wider "Yay! Thank you neighbor! I promise, I'm going to make tonight the best night of your life! You're just going to love it!"

He picked me up and a big hug and spun me around, making me laugh. He set me down gently on my feet once more and let go of all of me but my hand. "Come on in neighbor! Home is just going to adore you I'm certain!"

Wally walked me up to the door and with each step I felt that cold, uneasy feeling settle into my stomach deeper and deeper. Something in me told me that what I was doing was intrinsically wrong. But the soft feeling of slightly warm felt and cotton in my hand grounded me perceptively. I tried to tell myself that I was being silly, that it was just my anxiety getting the better of me.

But as we stepped inside of Home and Wally closed the door behind us, I felt my stomach drop into the pits of me when he said quietly "Oh neighbor, we're going to have so much fun together."

[pionia-milly]

Watch "한국의 매국노들" on YouTube

Korea's pro-japanese who signed paper for money and agreement about deployment or polise to Japanese and their thumb got destroyed and disappeared from nation and their kids can't live in Korea and remember by nation's sinners forever and nation's enemies because entire nation had hard life and tearing poor of poor went to taste hell and these enemies can even have their thumbs because nation got burned by fire. To Koreans can't imagine lived with zomon-japanese. Japanes talk outside don't go to Korea but sushi Japan because they can serve to gusts only kimchi but kimchi is side dish like western pickle nobody seve only pickle to gusts haha anyway kimchi has lot of fiber victims C and more lol Anyway japanes think Koreans are blinds haha because they got dollars and transistor radio John & yoko Nomura chinese Ramen Moony's sushi geisha chinese udon chinese style soysauce Portugal bread Spanish omlet fried food French silk factory cutlet and sugar farm and make a new etiquette year by year for good manners to show I think this Island can't do anything aloneness

[hanji-is-life]

Bakugo with a Chubby Baby Appreciation!

He totally thought you (if you were pregnant and didn't adopt) were having twins or even triplets! You were HUGE! But he only made the mistake of calling you that twice, he first time you threw a shoe at him, so he decided to tease you by calling you fat and you cried so he hasn't commented on your size wince

Baby is born and he's so excited to hold them! He had practiced at those birthing classes with those fake one, and he nearly dropped your kid cause they were over TWICE the weight of those dolls!

Okay! Past pregnancy and birthing!

He totally uses your kid as extra weight for like, pushups, and pull ups, little baby strapped to his back at the gym! If women try to hit on him he ALWAYS brings up how you and the baby love eachother and for the first five minutes when he's trying to leave, baby and you are just clinging to eachother!

Women interested in picking him up usually leave real quick, but a few mamas stay around to offer tips and talk about how you're doing (and Bakugo now is bragging about you to them all and they're side eyeing their husbands/boyfriends about how this man is perfect, and their a/o are less than)

Kirishima and suprisingly Sero are designated babysitters. Baby ADORES kirishima and likes to hit his face and laugh when he yells and shows off his teeth. Baby probably is facinated by Kirk's teefers, and most the time is shoving their chubby hand in his mouth to look.

Sero is just really calm and composed, and i say has a large family so he knows what to do, how to do it, and totally trains teens on CPR for babies (and adults, but noone cares)

Okay! But! More rolls means more bacteria so Bakugo bathes baby almost twice a day! Morning AND night! Citrus in the morning, lavender at night to help keep baby on schedule (my parents did this, and now the scents make me wake up/sleepy respectively)

Okay, BUT FAMILY BATHS! He's a hero so he probably buys a HUGE tub, and baby absolutely LOVES family baths, or more like bathing with you cause they want milk (guy or girl, baby wants milk!)! Baby probably has tried to nurse from Bakugo and got scared when Bakugo screamed in surprise. Plus side, baby never tried again!

Okay, but drooly baby! Baby has to have a bib, sometimes even has to change bibs out because baby is soaking them! Bakugo obviously gets baby Ground Zero bibs, and a few "Mama's boy" or "daddy's girl" bibs depending. You bought a Deku bib once and it was burned. Mitsuki brings over some All Might bibs that Bakugo used as a baby and Bakugo saves three so his kid can hand them down. (There were like 100, so three won't go missed)

Speaking of grandma Mitsuki! She brings over SO many clothes at the beginning, only for her to have to take many back because baby is too big for them! Baby is in like, three month clothes at birth! "And i thought Bakugo was a big baby!"

Mitsuki and Masaru are another set of babysitters, though Bakugo doesn't like asking them, not cause he doesn't like them! He's just a prideful dude who can't ask his parents for anything! You end up calling them each time, same with any other babysitter.

Okay, but Bakugo doesn't do that baby talk shit. His kids first words are probably shit or fuck honestly. Probably talks about the economy, or something half the time. But he is also talking about heros, and telling all the gorey details of his job as bedtime stories. Kid has never heard a fairytale from their dad, except the one where an awesome knight came and saved this almost as awesome person.

Bakugo cooking breakfast while talking to baby though! Just! "And you have to make sure no she'll gets into the omlet unless you want it to taste like shit" "baba, awoo da" "that's right, ya gotta whisk that fucker really good, get the yolk and whites mixed together perfectly!" "BA!" "Hell yeah!"

You totally have video of this, and have shared it with his parents. He can never know!

He has q picture of you and baby sewn into his gloves so noone can see, but if he just pulls back the wristband, he can see your smiling faces.

I’m absolutely bawling at all of these I can’t even see through my tears

[moonlessnight125]

The incorrect quotes of metal gear rising revengeance part 2 sentence starters

"This blood loss has made me delirious, tell me a story."

"Holy shit."

"[Name] I'm playing another gacha game. Please destroy all records of my credit card debt before the police come."

"I guess you could say a good _____ never dies [name]."

"Well well well if it ain't the feds."

"Unhand these brains."

"Kids are cruel [name]. They lose touch with it at the ripe old age of twelve."

"Warcrime this, can't eat the drywall that, microwaving mice is wrong they said."

"What the fuck."

"Kids love video games, that's why I have them spinning the wheel on all my favorite gacha games."

"You refrigerated a preschool for fucking jpegs?!"

"Like every casino is one big conspiracy? Bullshit!"

"Demand for my products are about to skyrocket, like the good old days after the 9/11!"

"Wait a minute 9/11 is bad."

"Speak for yourself, lets debate this on the roof."

"Looks like you're a gacha player at heart."

"Is that because of my brain damage?"

"Now activating woman deflectors."

"Like I said [name] kids are cruel."

"I'm fucking invincible!"

"[Name] how did you get an aircraft?"

"By the way [name], do you remember that bank you sent to the past tense?"

"I'm gonna not see you in a second."

"Not today I guess."

"Oh shit free bike."

"There are rumors that the nords are attempting to capture the whole of solstheim."

"Anyone looking for work should consider the fighter's guild."

"[Name] you ran over the child 9 miles back what are you going to do?"

"Good day."

"Oh so now you decide to stop."

"I'm running late."

"Oh don't worry [name] the clown college is closer than you think."

"Yeah it's right in front of me."

"You're ass will always be cringe and my ass will always be thicc."

"Oh good, you're getting more based by the day."

"Hey [name] look at this cool bug I found!"

"Guess I don't have a choice. I challenge you to a debate."

"What the fuck? No."

"Dies of cringe."

"Zamn dog give me some of that."

"I have kept them alive by the miracle of child sacrifices."

"Well that sure made everything easier to understand."

"Oh my god it's my dad."

"Oh fuck, I've returned! With a puppy."

"Last time you got those you disappeared for 10 years."

"No! I wanted to feed you that chocolate."

"Well if it isn't saucy [name]."

"Bro are you high?"

"Let me check. Yes."

"High on American spirit, and there's nothing more American than shooting a man in this walmart of a world."

"What is ______?"

"It's heaven [name]"

"Check the internet lately?"

"[Name] hop onto _____ you need to see this."

"Fuck I hate this website."

"It's all fucking weeb shit [name] it doesn't make any sense."

"These baboons don't even know were at war with _____"

"This one is calling me a redditor"

"Memes, gacha, e-girls, all petty distractions so real men can get down to business."

"Amogus."

"That's a nice argument [name], why don't you back it up with a source?!"

"My source is that I made it thr fuck up!"

"I've got my own to debate online."

"Check it out [name] - I just got vaccinated."

"Oh god he's hot."

"Time to hit the gym."

"It's funny because thousands of people die."

"Don't fuck with this senator!"

"Snap into a slim jim."

"Read a fucking book."

"I was wrong about you, you're not cringe. Your just fucking _____

"We're making the mother of all omletes here, can't fret over every egg!"

"You need to work on your fitness."

"My blood is red white and blue [name]. I wonder what color yours is."

"You can't give up yet! Think about every mentally deranged moron you've fought up until this point!"

"You are the best chia pet."

"Even in death he's on crack."

"I always said that my sword wasn't a weapon but a tool. But this isn't my sword. It's a fucking mistake."

"You know I'm starting to have a change of heart."

"Yeah I can tell."

"If I hear another god damn pun-"

"Oh shit, my black berry."

"Well, the police might be after him for that vehicle manslaughter."

[ee-laugh]

𝑬𝑪𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑹𝑰𝑪 | 𝑷𝑱𝑴

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴏ: sʜᴀʀᴅs

TW: BLOOD

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ

They hurt you and then act like you hurt them

You wake up to a smiling jimin already staring back at you. His round eyes are a reflection of his heart, full of love and adoration for you.

You hum in satisfaction, the tips of your fingers tracing the smooth skin of his jaw. His hand cups yours and his lips kiss your fingertips one by one.

"I can't wait to get married to you." He nuzzles his nose in your palm as he confesses.

"Neither can I." Your words are whispered into his mouth as his lips capture yours in a soft kiss.

Your morning breaths collide, and neither of you bother about it. It was the perfect way to start your mornings, and you couldn't wait to wake up to your favorite person everyday for the rest of your life.

—

You woke up to a heavily pounding head, and a red hot face. Last night was spent crying in the pillow like a 3 year old.

You tried getting out of your cozy bed, but failed. Your legs felt wobbly, like they were carved out of jelly.

You groaned. It was 10 am. And you were a bit too late to go to work.

The slippers squeaked against the tiled floor as you made your way to the kitchen. Fridge was pretty much empty, despite for some eggs and milk. You managed to cook yourself an omlete with some coffee.

Better take him with you...

A cold shiver ran down your spine as you could almost hear jimin's voice ring in your ears. It repeated itself like a Monday morning alarm.

if you're gonna touch him like that.

You snatched your messy hair in tiny fists. A growl left your chapped lips as his voice kept ringing through your head.

Better take him..

If you're gonna touch him—

"Why.." your voice cracked. "Why did I let him hug me?"

You sniffled and rubbed the back of your hand against your watery nose.

You pushed your body up and on your feet. Legs still wobbly, you managed to reach yours and jimin's shared bedroom. You unconsciously knocked at the door, then stopped yourself.

Why the fuck were you knocking?

You entered the room, which was a whole lot mess. You gasped. Broken perfume bottles, shattered glass bits of which were scattered everywhere.

You crouched down to collect the tiny shards of sharp glass from the ground, careful not to cut yourself. He must be really mad at you, for doing all of this.

The analogue clock in the room was ticking by the second, making you anxious for no reason. Well, there was a reason.

One of your hands clutched your sweater over your chest, while the other shakily collected glass. And then there was blood.

Thick red blood drops dripped from your finger, making your head spin.

In your peripheral vision, you could make out a figure coming out of the bathroom.

"Jimin." you muttered, and he hurried to take you into his arms.

"Jagi.. what's this?" He was talking about your finger.

He took your hand in his, guiding it to his parted lips. His lips wrapped around your finger as he sucked it clean.

He helped you get up on your feet and sit on the couch. First aid box was found lying in one of the cupboards. Jimin treated your cut with antiseptics and wrapped a clean cloth around it.

When his eyes finally met yours, you croaked out a faint "I'm sorry." His eyes visibly softened at your exhausted state. And your tears.

His hand came forward to wipe away the stray tears from your lidded eyes.

"It wasn't your fault. No." He shook his head.

"I-i overreacted."

You looked down at your fingers intertwined into each other, like twigs originating from the same branch. And it was enough for you to heave a sigh of relief.

At the end of the day, this was all that mattered. Jimin was by your side, looking at you with such love in his eyes that you thought was possible only in books. Your eyes mirrored his.

And then you two were kissing.

Your hands fisted in his silk hair as he muttered sweet nothings in your mouth. His tongue gently devoured yours as you sank back into the couch.

A sigh left your throat.

Jimin's weight pushed you into the soft pillows beneath and his firm chest put warm pressure on yours.

"God, I'm so sorry for hurting you, y/n."

His piercing gaze was back. Only this time, it was remorseful. Sad.

You shook your head.

"It's okay, jimin. I trust you."

His lips brushed against yours.

"I love you, y/n."

You moaned against his thick lips that tasted like your favorite drug. He bit on your quivering bottom lip, sucking.

"Love you too," you moaned against his dominating mouth again and again. Til he could believe you meant it.

His sinful lips trailed from your neck to your ear, biting on your earlobe harshly till you let out a stifled moan.

"If you love me so much... then.." He breathed out heavily.

".. then stay away from jungkook."

[boyheadband]

same ,, it was on accident tho /_\ im probably gonna nap later im super tired .

it looks so gross on camera but I made this super good rolled omlet and now I can't eat it bc of class T_T

ooo omelet!! i’m rlly bad at making them,, rip abt class that sucks :((

[on-new-years-tay]

Why can't I even make an omlet

[bd-wovenhearts]

Torei is 6,8 and her family are around 7 feet. What are y’all eating?

"..." Tori scrunches the hood of her hoodie to hide her face. "Can't help it dad's LargeHuge..." she mumbles.

Elsewhere in the apartment, Arnold is making an very Ham Loaded Omlet and also answering.

"We eat what we want and today it's Dinner Breakfast."