#canon vs clown

[undead-knick-knack]

Girl only has an 8 Strength but people are convinced she's built like a barbarian or something 😭

[redroomroaving]

Occasionally, it occurs to me that we might have wandered a bit away from canon with Klaus.

(with great love to my Ham Fam in the Harper Prince Discord - aka The Twink Sanctuary, and special shout outs to @captainsigge for the blorbos gate image, @turquoiseoverthesea for making him a pocket prince, @russica for giving him some EXCELLENT piercings, @n1ghtmeri for naming the Rolan x Klaus ship Thunderdome and falling headfirst into clown posting, @electricaquarius for delivering our first bit of written Thunderdome and honestly, just, all of you. I love you Ham Fam, never change.)

[aliciadoodleshow]

OG TEMPLATE. TYPE OF GRUNKFUSSES

[dnangelic]

the harsh summer buzz of cicadas fills in the silence between them . sunlight scorches any place outside of the leafy shade , and the air's so humid , it makes the ever-darkening bruise fresh and developing on sakura's face look black and tender as night .

when he sneaks in his silent looks at it , stealing glances in between winces , daisuke can only frown .

at the crater of changing color , at everything , the boy's hands behind his back and his fingers nervously tumbling invisible locks , his weight shifting to and from the balls of his feet . the enormous bag of ice he had hastily stolen from a nearby shop's outdoor freezer and even-more-hastily thrust into sakura's grasp sweats , its dramatic size more than enough to serve as a pillow , did sakura decide it .

but even that , a rush-job remedy after a completely unexpected reaction , would melt away soon enough , or at least faster than any lingering bruise .

( why ... why did you do that ? )

the question feels taboo , despite how slowly it seems to crawl and drag and endlessly repeat itself in daisuke's mind ... just like the memory , the sight of sakura's own strong fist mercilessly launching towards itself . too much , too soon . not here , and not now . so he simply stands and loiters even maybe when he shouldn't , stubbornly refusing to leave despite not knowing exactly what to do .

' sakura-san , sorry ... ' finally , his head droops and his spine wilts as he starts to whisper . the sense of guilt sloughing off his small shoulders is so thick , the shadowy gloom of it might as well have been as visible as its own dark and heavy mirage . between every considered should have and shouldn't have remained this single feeling of fault that he quietly tries to take responsibility for : ' i'm sorry ... i didn't mean to --- to do something bad to you . ' // @cherriedrage / @multeasers / cont.

[secretlythatsme]

also i feel like "adoption bait" jokes are like,, only funny maybe once, and the reality of bruce is actually trying to Not bring in more kids but everyone after jason forced themselves into the family is Way more interesting for dpxdc fics. especially in bad fenton parents aus?

the thing is, bruce has a lot of hesitance with bringing new people in, especially kids because 1. they will not be safe even if they don't become vigilantes 2. they can't be trusted 3. it's a lot harder for everyone to hide who they are if they bring a civilian in and 4. bruce now feels responsible for the life of Another kid. like,, i get why people make the adoption jokes, but i think the angst potential is so much more interesting than "bruce and co immediately want to adopt danny".

like can you imagine an au with bad fenton parents and danny is still a teen and he's heard about how bruce/batman brings in sad cases. maybe, just maybe this guy could actually help him? give him a safe home? or maybe danny doesn't want to be adopted right away but slowly bonds with the family and eventually wants to be included. the heartache knowing that bruce doesn't want that to happen. like?? hello!!!

there's sooo much you could do with bruce not wanting more kids in the family!!! so much!!!

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya might stress tf out of Luc whenever he pops by the Angels Share, but lbr Luc gets him back tenfold whenever they’d cooperate on missions bc Luc will NOT hesitate to fucken Leroy Jenkins and practically make Kae go grey early in the process-

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

Vivizepop hates women so much to where she have a woman who suffered a position that many women did in history as a total bitch just because she needs drama to have her precious yaoi ship to happen

Literally… and seeing the misogyny has St*las stan clowns crying that you must just be homophobic. As if so many of us who are critical of how Stella was portrayed don’t also like characters like Angel Dust and don’t love ships like Bl*tzfizz and Bl*tziker, non canon m/m ships. There is nothing wrong with media that portrays and yes even focuses heavily on m/m. The problem arises when the writing is misogynistic and actively hostile to female characters for no good reason. You can’t just make female characters one dimensional devices that only exist for the male characters’ pain, drama etc and expect people not to see that for what it is. Just don’t write a load of misogynistic tropes straight out of a yaoi fanfic in which women are mindlessly villainized for things male characters wouldn’t be everywhere in your work. It’s that simple. Female characters in HB either act as support or angst devices (Octavia is a big one in that latter category) if they’re on our protagonist male character’s side, or they’re one note as fuck if they at all oppose the male characters. They exist for the male characters stories not their own. It sucks.

There is plenty of other media I’ve liked personally where there are male abuse victims and female abusers and I had no issues with them portraying it because men absolutely can be abuse victims of women. The Alador/Odalia relationship in TOH is a great example. Odalia actually had a choice in marrying for starters. And she wouldn’t be fucked over by an unfair divorce that leaves her with no home. She has clear motivations related to her business but they don’t change that she’s a POS.

The problem with Stella is that she didn’t choose to marry St*las. She’s in a horrific situation with so many reasons to justifiably be upset - but they ignore all of those and try to sneakily hide them and say “don’t think about it too hard” and “no she was just born a POS anyway so those horrors don’t matter”. Wasn’t the point of these shows supposed to be that people who are messy and fucked up can be so for understandable reasons and their flaws don’t mean they’re entirely worthless, even if the flaws are still bad? Why are you giving grace to all these male characters including fucking immortal overlords with vast wealth that they directly own, but a woman in an arranged marriage forced by her own family to get pregnant as soon as she hit 18, she isn’t given that same grace? She doesn’t get to be messy? Like what the actual fuck. I love Ozzie but the fact he’s allowed to be a straight up lovable good guy while Stella isn’t allowed to even just be grey says it all really.

Only certain characters are allowed to be complex and messy despite having the exact same circumstances as other ones like St*las Vs. Stella and to me that’s bad writing. Stella so obviously exists not to be a character but only to be drama for St*las’ story and turning a victim of an arranged marriage into just that, into a Val tier character, yeah sorry lie and call me homophobic then because that kind of writing leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.

[relaxxattack]

can you rant abt hiveswap and how it changes the per-established alternian lore and not in a good way. i hold no stake in this topic but i love to hear about worldbuilding differences and people complaining

oh my god i would loveeee too. well first of all the obvious stuff with how they seem to think the beta trolls were the stereotypes for their caste (NOT TRUE... very very untrue but ESPECIALLY untrue with like. jadebloods goldbloods and purplebloods who seem to get this the worst somehow)

i hateeee how they made jades preppy THATS KANAYAS THING.. AND SHES EXPLICITLY *WEIRD* FOR THAT. they literally mention it like over 20 times how kanaya is sooooo weird for liking fashion and dressing well and then. oh no i guess every jade does that actually whoops sorry! ToT and god do i even need to go into the terrible prevalence of the idea that "jadebloods are typically/instinctively nurturing" when that is textually not the case?

goldbloods all having double horns is not that big of a deal tbh but its really funny to me that they made that assumption when sollux is like. actively called a mutant for most of the comic. "oh yeah hes mutated and weird and fucked up and some of his body parts are doubled (cue dick jokes here)". like that was a thing for sollux but they just decided to say "well actually. thats just how all goldbloods are"

most purplebloods having a "clowny aesthetic" is fine with me honestly since theres an actual Profession of being a subjuggalator and presumably lots of purples are going to be wanting to go into that? but alllll of them being full on juggalo cultists goes directly against canon. its like. the difference between american lawmaking and christianity. yes the separation of church and state is like nonexistent here. but just because american lawmaking is an enterprise controlled by christianity doesnt mean that All Politicians/Cops are automatically christian. and definitely not the same kind of christian?? there are probably agnostic clowns, or clowns who are only into cultism for the aesthetic. even reformist vs. orthodox clowns. they may all be upholding the same systemic white christian status quo, but they doesn't mean they all fit into that niche themselves. if that makes sense?

and of course i've already made a whole post about how i hate the idea that olivebloods are all feral little rogues, since that makes very little sense in canon.

i would really love to do that full stream of the hiveswap and friendsim games just. going through all of their alternian stuff and explaining my thoughts on it and how it relates to canon... i could go on and on about this stuff for ages and get into way more than just caste stereotypes. i think i would need to reread all of homestuck first to make sure i wasnt just pulling shit out of my ass and was truly studied up though, lmao

[starry-bi-sky]

I am absolutely loving your Danyal Al Ghul au. While I have a soft spot for the whole plotline of Danny becoming his canon personality almost right after breaking away from the LOA all because of Jazz, I'm just as much for your take in which he goes through the same character development as Damian.

Now I'm curious. You already tackled his relationship with Dani, will you eventually take a stab at when he, Sam, and Tucker meet Gregor? Given that it's one of my hated episodes as I couldn't stand Sam's infuriatingly hypocritical attitude to Danny's suspicions of him, I'd kill to see your spin on it.

Aw, thank you! Danyal Al Ghul aus are what got me into DPDC first, so I have a major soft spot for them. That being said, uh, its exactly that soft spot that causes me to have Many Opinions about the trope you just mentioned. Like the trope is all fine and dandy, i don't blindly hate it, my main issue with it is that most aus i've seen treat his backstory as an ex-assassin more like a pretty cosmetic accessory rather than something that actually should have had an impact on him. Especially if he remembers being in the league.

Like i cannot stress enough the fact that being in an ecofascist assassin cult (regardless of his standing in it) should've left him, in some way or another, screwed up morally and psychologically because that's just how development works. Nature vs. Nurture is like a game of tug-o-war that never ends, where they are constantly fighting against each other and one side usually has the upper hand or greater influence. Children model the behaviors of the adults around them (ex: bobo the clown doll experiment), and what impacts them in childhood can stick with them permanently.

Like how my psychology professor put it: a baby's brain is like wet cement; if you slap your hand on it, it leaves an imprint, and the cement dries that way. The same rings true for small children.

I could go on, but I frankly have so many thoughts on that alone that I would end up completely derailing from the second half of your ask, and I don't want to be more critical than I already have. Especially since you just mentioned you have a soft spot for the trope.

[Okay, hold onto your hats because this is long. Naturally lmao.]

Gregor! Man, I'll admit I last watched the show back in middle school on a dodgy illegal website (it had surprisingly good audio and visual graphics, and full episodes. But really annoying porn ads.) but I only made it to like season 1 before my hyperfixation faded and I lost interest. So I never actually saw the Gregor episode.

But... it is relatively easy to find free websites that stream Danny Phantom :), so finding the episode took me like. Thirty seconds. Plus the Tv.Tropes recap page because my damn earbuds just died and im out in public as of rn.

I'm not sure if I'll write something for the gregor episode like I did with Dani, since Dani's a bit of a special case in that she's a clone and tends to be a reoccurring presence in DPDC, and I thought the new dynamic with Danyal would be interesting.

Plus, I'm not a big amethyst ocean shipper for the pure reason of I'm just not all that interested in it; its kinda bland to me. I'll admit I've entertained the thought in this au due to the whole balcony scene i wrote, but I would've entertained the thought anyways if it was Tucker in that position instead. Big multishipper, me.

But, if I had to make it official? Danyal is not interested romantically in Sam when the Gregor episode happens, regardless of his relationship with Valerie. Who, speaking of I'm trying to think about how that would go, and I'm torn between including him almost-dating Valerie or not.

Because on one hand it helps point out Sam's hypocrisy (and i love her but i am always happy to point out her flaws and address them in au) in this episode in terms of Danny spying on them, but on the other hand I'll want to include a lot of set up in order to make Gray Ghost work in this au and wow will that take a while.

Especially with the Flirting with Disaster episode because it happens due to Technus' meddling, and Danny is, well, the son of the Batman? A trained assassin? An ex-assassin nonetheless, but still an assassin? A prodigy child in this au? He might not have needed to use most of his skills in the last few years, but like... there's just a bunch of 'what if' and 'well technically...' and 'would he? he could, but would he?' things that is getting in the way of my thought process and making my head spin.

.

Mmm. Okay. Flirting with Disaster occurs relatively the same as canon with a few exceptions; like Danyal noticing the strange coincidences, and he might take the idea into proper consideration because Sam has a point it is strange, especially out of nowhere.

However,,, he really enjoys Valerie's company, and he does really like her. He's been adjusting to civilian life for the last four years and while he's made a lot of progress, he's still. an ex-assassin child living like a wolf amongst sheep. This is normal, typical teenager stuff, and usually his friends like to encourage him doing normal teenager stuff.

So he's stubbornly holding out on the thought that this is normal, that ghost stuff isn't interfering here. He's a little hurt that his friends are discouraging this, he's not bothered by the fact that Valerie is a ghost hunter and he a ghost -- his mother is an assassin, and his father is Batman, and they still had a relationship. (Granted, he's not gonna tell them that)

If anything, being diametrically opposed to each other but still being in love is part of the family! Granted, usually both parties are aware of said opposition to each other, but he'll make a special exception this time around.

(And man now that i'm thinking about gray ghost, im now thinking about various like. scenes i could write between the two of them. maybe in a reblog.)

Anyways uhhh things relatively go the same as canon. Yeah. I think Sam still has a crush on Danny and still spies out of jealousy with Tucker.

.

Now, the Gregor episode! With that out of the way; the TVTropes recap for this episode isn't the best because it doesn't go into detail about the entire episode like it does with Flirting With Disaster and Shades of Gray.

(which i looked at earlier because I made a section of this post talking briefly about what changes I'd make to the Shades of Gray episode to help set up Gray Ghost, but ended up deleting because it was kinda irrelevant for the matter at hand.)

So I'm taking in bits of the episode clips at a time, I'll try not to get too nitpicky about how each scene goes because then it's gonna take me a longer time to write this.

But! First thing's first; since Danny is not romantically interested in Sam, he is also not jealous of Gregor. He is however, a bit eyebrow-raisey at him in their first introduction, but that's because Gregor is coming off as obnoxious.

Danny thinks he's kinda annoying, and it doesn't take a genius to see that Gregor is trying to impress Sam. But since they've only known him for five minutes he takes the good faith assumption and assumes that Gregor is genuinely trying to show interest in Sam's interests too because he likes her, so he keeps mum. The fake hungarian accent is weird, but it's overall harmless, so he doesn't point it out.

He does do the spying thing when he starts suspecting that Gregor might be working for the GIW. The episode only has this happen twice, but for the au this happens a handful of more times over the course of the week, with Danyal's suspicion steadily rising more and more each time.

Hah, when he brings up wanting to spy on Sam and Gregor because of this reason, Tucker still does his "woah! you wanna spy on Sam?" thing.

Danny immediately turns to him, completely unimpressed, and crosses his arms. "Tucker," he says, deadpan, "you and Sam spied on me and Valerie."

He uses a combination of his ghost powers and his regular stealth ability to spy on them. He's hiding in a tree when they're skipping rocks, close enough that he can use his powers to hear them talk but far enough away that he has a good view of their surroundings.

He's invisible in the cinema, but doesn't accidentally get in front of the projector. He checks the inside of the room for the GIW, and then waits outside the actual room itself, keeping an eye on the area and occasionally flying in to watch the movie out of boredom. It reminds him of being back on a recon mission with the League, but it doesn't end with him orchestrating someone's death.

Then when they're at the mall he stays in human form, blending in with the crowd. He runs into the GIW there, but realizes that they're not there because of Gregor; they're just shopping. They didn't show up at either of the last two locations, and he follows them to make sure they're not also trying to blend in. But they're literally just there for shopping.

Danny is rather pleased with this turnout; so far Gregor isn't a spy, he's just annoying. The next day at lunch he asks Sam how her date with Gregor went, and that's how she figures out he spied on them, because well, she didn't tell him that.

"Have you been spying on me?"

Danny messes with his food a little bit, and Tucker is sinking into his seat with embarrassment. He frowns, "Only last night. Those incompetent government dodos--"

His lip curls up; he gets all 'Shakespeare-y' (as Sam and Tucker put it) when he's insulting someone, "--kept appearing whenever Gregor did. I followed you and him last night to make sure he wasn't a spy."

A roundabout way of saying, "I was worried".

Sam is, as canon, furious. Danny understands why, he knows generally speaking that people don't like being spied on. But he's confused on just how angry she is, and is a little irritated by it.

"Why would you do that!" She exclaims, "That's way out of line, Danny."

"How? You spied on me when I was going on dates with Valerie." He narrows his eyes, and points his fork at her, "I'm not blind, I noticed."

"That's different, we told you why we were suspicious. And we don't have ghost powers like you do."

"I don't need ghost powers to sneak around, Sam, you've seen this firsthand. And I just told you why I followed you, I thought he was working with the guys in white--"

"So you think someone can only be interested in me if they're after you?" (this is a paraphrased quote, folks ;D)

"No! If that was the case I would have voiced my concern the moment I thought it. I don't get why you're so angry, you spied too."

Iiits.... a mess. Sam storms off with Gregor, Tucker tags along because okay, yeah, maybe Gregor isn't with the GIW, or maybe last night was a fluke. Either way he ends up tagging along. Danny overhears that conversation between the GIW and Mr. Lancer, and maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong; but something is up.

I've gotten to that scene in the locker room where Gregor tells Danny that he knows he doesn't like him, and I've paused at Danny's reply to say this: Danyal doesn't even bother trying to deny it.

"I know you do not like me."

"You're right; I don't."

"Ah, let me finish. I know you do not like me because you want to protect your friend, Sam, and I respect that."

"...That's correct."

"Good! Because I am going to ask her out."

"I had a feeling you'd say that," he stands up, claps his hand tight on Gregor's shoulder, and leans close to him with a threatening smile, "so you understand me when i say; if you break my best friend's heart, you're as good as dead, right?"

"Ah,, yes. I am so glad we got that cleared out of the way, and now I hope after we can.. how you Americans put it, hang out?"

In the episode he hugs Danny and gives him a la bise (which is that french greeting where you kiss someone on the cheek two or more times) after they end their conversation. But here, when he goes to do that to Danyal, Danny leans away, points an accusatory finger at him, and says; "Absolutely not; we are not close."

The next scene after that is like, end of day. Sam, Tucker, and Gregor walking away. Sam looks over her shoulder to glare at Danny, then gets forlorn. Tucker looks back and just looks forlorn.

(When did I start narrating each scene?? Eh, I'm writing this in brief spurts of time throughout the day. Don't fix what's not broke)

After that there's this whole scene with the two GIW agents that have been chasing Phantom all episode. They're there because they have Tucker's PDA that Skulker took, and it's got the information of their purple backed gorilla assignment on it. They've been going around seeing who Tucker associates with in hopes of catching Phantom.

Uhh ahaha and that is where this gets a little interesting imo, and also allows me to mention that im retconning Danyal's (already) redesigned ghost form. Which I've wanted to retcon even before this moment bc it was just too busy. I'll get to that in a moment.

The GIW suspect Gregor for being the Phantom because of his white hair and green eyes, which is all fine and dandy until you remember: Danyal (and by extension Phantom) has that very noticeable, rather identifiable facial scar that goes across the middle of his fucking face. The GIW could easily suspect that Phantom hides his scar with makeup if he's in disguise, but if they meet a kid with a seemingly identical facial scar and similar disposition? Hoo boy.

Solution? I've got two: Gregor is canonically a kid from Michigan who faked everything to impress Sam. Considering he knows she's gothic and knows that she's ultra-recyclo vegetarian? He probably watched her from afar or got information on her somehow. His hair is dyed, his eyes might just naturally be green, but if he notices that she's got a crush on either Danyal or Phantom? A little sfx makeup could help him recreate a similar looking scar.

My second solution that's gonna happen anyways bc its that suit redesign; Danyal does hide his face as Phantom. Ghosts are emotional creatures and its a popular headcanon that their interests, ambitions, etc, influence the way they look as a ghost, not just their death. A big reoccurring theme of my au is that Danyal did not leave the League unscathed, and that being an assassin is an important part of his identity.

So i'm discarding the hazmat suit look entirely and leaning into the 'assassin' thing. But the general (stylized) feel is like, white ribbon/cloth vambraces that he has used as a garrote at some point, a hood, a gaiter scarf-type thing. I'm keeping the cape. I did a doodle a few days back that's not the official redesign, but a redesign for Phantom. I may reblog this post with that attached because it's got the general feel down. There's very little white involved, but the inside of his cape flares out and looks like the night sky.

Now, the hood and gaiter scarf gets rid of most of the problem, but Danny's hood doesn't stay on all the time, so the GIW have likely seen the upper half of the scar. :] Gregor's own drawn-on scar doesn't have to be 1:1, but it looks close enough, right? A small scar cutting through the edge of his brow and ends right below the corner of his eye. A 'cool, badass' one opposed to Danny's 'garish' scar.

But! Back to the episode scene. Canon Danny gets written off as being 'too prepubescent' to be Phantom, and honestly it'd be hilarious if Danyal was written off for the same reason (he's calling them idiots in his head if they do). But instead -- leaning into the GIW's incompetence here -- he gets written off as being too mature or too talkative. Or something equally as absurd.

Sam breaks up with Gregor for canon reasons, but when Gregor does his "i really like you, but, come on-!" and gestures to tucker, he adds on "and that scary friend of yours too, seriously!"

Things go relatively the same as canon after that. Danny does end up apologizing for spying, however. Sam does it first. Sorrows, prayers, all that.

.

Things usually end up changed or different when I actually write it down, so I'd likely add more or adjust different scenes according to the flow of the oneshot. This is just like, a general vibe of how things would go, and where some of the more obvious changes would be if I did write this oneshot.

Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for the ask :]

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Bonus Poll!

The winner of the poly ship bracket vs the most popular (and honestly, only) Buggy ship of the duo bracket!

Propaganda under the cut. [contains some spoilers]

Propaganda for Cross Guild:

Idk there's something about three people who hate each other that just works.

they don't need no propaganda. I could never make propaganda like buggy the clown does in canon

mr. pathetic (buggy) paired with two actual warlords who could (but haven't !) demolished him ? it has to be love

Crocodile and Mihawk are a fucked up rich ass couple and Buggy is the chihuahua in their purse

CROSSGUILDCROSSGUILD XXX

Its cross guild. you know why (mod: as an anime-only fan, I don't, but I'm looking forward to find out 😂)

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

[poisonheiress]

Vivziepop's ability to decay any women and fem-aligned characters she creates has always haunted Helluva Boss, and as a result, limits them to being one dimensional characters that fall into a "with them or against them" mentality when it comes to her male characters; they only exists to prop up other (male) characters or to serve as morally bankrupt villains.

From Verosika to Stella to Loona and Millie, this trend is clear from the beginning of the show and likely will follow it to the end. However, for this post I will discuss the recent victims of this trend: the lovely Glitz and Glam.

To be honest, I adore Glitz and Glam (to the point of writing fan fiction for them) and they have become my favorite characters in the entire show so this discussion will show some bias towards them. While some may say its too early for this call as they will be seen again, but from what I've seen on twitter from fans and even creators of their song alike, I do not have the hope this will occur.

From the beginning, Glitz and Glam are looked down on for their desire to win and for doing anything they can to get that position. When confronted with Fizz's kind words of support, they look down on him and further emphasize how they are going to win against him even gaining the title of "snatches" and "sluts" by Blitzo. From this moment forward, its clear the narrative doesn't want us to look kindly upon the sisters. After all, they are being "bitches" to Fizzarolli and competing against him in a manner that pushes him further and further into a breakdown. The fact that Fizz's relationship with Mammon and self esteem issues are not their fault is shown as irrelevant to both the audience and their creators.

This isn't made better by their song writers' commentary on twitter on how the glam sisters are perverting the true nature of clowning and that their song shows how they are simply wanting to get Mammon's attention by feeding into the financial and sexual exploitation (even saying that they want this to happen). This commentary solidifies the idea that they are not someone we should root for especially since they are allying themselves with Mammon, a horrific, abusive asshole.

While I expect this level of dismissal and honestly misogynistic writing from Helluva boss, I can't help but be extremely agitated by it and the reason why was made clear recently: the narrative acts as if the Glam sisters are doing this for out of selfish desire alone, as if they are terrorizing Fizz for no good reason. But that's simply not true, and even Vivzie's canon supports me here.

The Glam sisters are hellborn demons, only one rank higher than the imps. This means that while they may be treated better, they still are not treated as full citizens like sinners are, and in a dog eat dog world like Hell, kindness is not something they can afford.

Getting this position with Mammon is a life changing deal, something Fizz is proof of. Yes, it is as exploitative as it is lucrative for the individual, but this is Hell (as Vivzie likes to claim) and opportunities like this are something many would die and kill for.

So at the end of the day, I cannot help but be confused why the narrative punishes and looks down on Glitz and Glam for taking some crumb of control back from the system and accepting their objectification with open arms as long as they are rightly compensated for it. Why does even their (albeit catchy) song look down on them for doing whatever it takes to survive in Hell? After all, they would be exploited anyway, right? It's what Hell lives on.

In a class system like Vivzie claims to have, the glam sisters are a prime example of the kind of oppressed vs oppressed the system creates, but instead of trying to understand them or even see them as morally complex, they are simply the slutty female antagonists who are corrupting the sanctity of hell clowns simply because they don't clown for the sake of clowning. Whatever complexity they could have, even if it is beneficial to the entirety of the show, is worthless compared to their narrative propping for Vivzie's favored characters. But it doesn't surprise me. After all, what else is a women is Helluva Boss good for if not to support the main male cast.

[hdusa]

that was my first time watching a lifesteal stream in like 6 months i dont know what is going on in season 5 at all . the red sky was kinda awesome. guns were scary. i hope u kill more people soon ^_^ will be trying 2 tune in more - @renchant

I can try to summarize the entire season in like 3 paragraphs it’s going to be so terrible and long I’m so sorry watch me do it here we go

So basically… lifesteal season 5 begins…. There’s a group called the PMC that consists of MinuteTech LeoWook and ClownPierce and since they’re all big strong men they beat up every other team on the server. Eventually the PrinceZam + Pangi pirate team group up with Gucci Gang (Bacon Parrot Mapicc) to beat them up because they’re really strong and scary. Eventually Clown stops logging on so they feel the need to form a new team called the Phantoms with Vitalasy Jumper and Reddoons and they go around jumping people by staying logged out and then all logging in at the same time after someone’s lured to a location. It got them a PrinceZam kill but they failed against Mapicc and Bacon. Tons of fights happen that are just PMC vs Gucci Gang + Me or LaLa Legion (Spoke Ash Ro Planet) vs Us or whatever. Eventually new members get added, Squiddo Pentar Jepex Wemmbu. There’s a gay wedding between Parrot and Ashswag. Squiddo kills the entire server at a birthday party. I made 200 backup maxed out armor sets. Midmystic makes Pangi and I an awesome pirate base and lastly a chunk of the server lowkey stop logging on.

Because of the void left by the players that are now gone (Parrot, Vitalasy kinda, Reddoons, Poafa, Woogie, Vort3x etc) Mapicc and I have no choice but to find a way to make things awesome again. We build a void trap at spawn and try to lure Minute and Planet over, successfully killing Planet (this is ok because he’s a 20 heart monster this season btw!!) Bacon joins us and decides we need two extra members so we invite Pentar and JumperWho as well. Together we formed a team called The Abyss, a group of players that want to revive the server by destroying it. By making ourselves the big bads of the server every time people logged on their goal was to kill us so that we’d stop making our void hole at spawn bigger. They tried other things like filling the hole with water and obsidian but those all got fixed relatively fast. One of the things they did was find my secret base and steal all 200 of my armor sets. This made me really mad so I destroyed the entire PMC base. After months of constant fighting over this big dumb hole to the void at spawn eventually we come up with an end goal. We were going to turn the entirety of spawn island into void. While working on this insanely large project we get jumped and after like 5 battles where Planet just keeps dying but his teammates live, he bans himself in the void hole. Before doing so he asks what our goal is so I told him activity, and he says “well in that case I guess in a way I’ve beat you”. This was like cold asf so we immediately switch gears deciding we need to make our plan way awesomer and cooler so we add a puzzle for them to solve!! It’s super long and if they couldn’t finish it in 7 days the entirety of spawn would be turned to void. Our team immediately got to work running big bedrock break machine and cleaning out layer after layer. However, as this is all happening Wemmbu Squiddo and 4CVIT reveal that they have a massive canon that will blow up literally EVERYTHING on the server unless we give them 50 hearts. They blows up 4Cs entire beautiful base to show they’re not joking around. Minute and his group are able to find the canon and break it saving the server but for a moment the entire server was united against Wemmbu and his team. The Abyss goal was completed before our final project even began which sucked, but we kept moving forward. To get people interested Minute (temporarily) added Rekrap2 Back To The Server!!!! He was here to help them finish the puzzle and after a week of us racing to void everything while they solve our puzzles, it was over and they had won. The 5 of us now had to jump into the void but that’s when JumperWho revealed she had been a mole the whole time. For 3 months of constant work on the void hole, she was betraying us. Relaying everything to Minute and his team. Filled with rage Mapicc decided to bomb her base but ended up with Clown Leo Minute Jumper and potentially more on him. I came to help but I wasn’t ready to fight Jumper, somebody I’d been allies with for 3 months. I managed to escape but I couldn’t believe it. Afterwards Pentar also left our team leaving just Mapicc Bacon and I.

The next paragraph is basically everything that’s happened since so basically the last month or so. To fix the lack of order on the server players could now run for God! Mapicc, Minute, Squiddo and 4CVIT/Reddoons decided to run. Simultaneously Branzy was now working on a carnival which was really cool! During one of the games I rigged it so that Jumper would die which was silly revenge but then for serious revenge me and Mapicc tried jumping her. Unfortunately she got Minute to save her leading to us losing badly. Afterwards the presidential god stuff starts taking priority and to campaign we ask a bunch of people to vote for us. In the end we came 2nd place, and Pentar as well as Pangi voted against Mapicc. Pentar made sense since he never said he would vote Mapicc, but Pangi had quite literally betrayed all of our trusts by voting for Squiddo. Also Minute came dead last despite helping everyone on the server regear and also saving them from void and the canon which is hilarious. The winners were 4C and Reddoons who instead of actually running themselves chose to give their presidency to CaptainSparklez! It takes him a while to join and during that time period to fill the lack of things going on Mapicc and I start an all out war against Jumper. It started with a silly spar against MinuteTech that ended up turning into a 2v2 against Jumper as well. We got them to run the first time around but the 2nd time we just lost badly. The next day Jumper said she’d deliver stone from Vitalasys old base to Midmystic so we hid in Vitalasys base all day long. It was taking a while so I changed my discord pfp and name to match Mids and got her to log on 😭😭. Once she showed up we killed her. Minute logged on and she ended up coming back but we escaped with me on the brink of death. Because of this they were angry angry at us but we didn’t care we wanted to make them more mad. We started base hunting and found Minutes somewhat old base for the anti abyss people. While searching the base Minute showed up so Mapicc got there and we 2v1d him. During the fight we spawned a wither in the base bombing the area and revealing a third of the 200 armor sets I had stolen from me during the void arc!!! Eventually Jumper showed up so we decided to run away taking our win. But after this we had another fight where they jumped us at my base and we ended up losing after an extremely long and hard fought battle. Before this I forgot to mention but Bacon Mapicc and I brainstormed a team name as well as an end goal, SPOILERS NO LIFESTEAL MEMEBRS READ BEYOND THIS!!!!

STOP IT! DO NOT READ AHEAD LIFESTEAL MEMBERS!!!

Essentially we wanted to reset the server to how it was on day one, breaking apart every team and then resetting every area back to how it looked on day one. With this goal in mind I realized we’d need to actually be able to kill people so I needed to get past being on 9 hearts. 4C/Red made hearts literally uncraftable so I had to kill. This segment is really cool there’s a 10 or 20 minute clip of everything that happens and if I tried to explain it I wouldn’t do it any justice but I’m sure somebody will link it below. Anyway after the awesome clip moment I’m evil now so I try to kill Pangi. I lead him to our old day one base and get him to help me repair it but he is wayyy too sus of me. I eventually muster up the courage to block off the bases exits and ask him over and over why he voted Squiddo, as this was supposed to be revenge for that. However, MinuteTech logs on and arrives at the base leading to them 2v1ing me but I end up escaping. We scream at each other before I leave to set up a new base. Later that night Pentar calls with Mapicc and I to join our team. Thanks to him I’m basically able to fully regear myself after losing almost everything to all the fights we had with Minute and Jumper. I end up on 12 hearts by this point and I think that’s most the shenanigans wrapped up, all that’s left is the captain sparklez stuff which this specific asker has already seen I think. For anyone else I personally believe this should be vod watched!! Up to you of course but I’m sure someone else on here would be willing to summarize that specific event sometime.

I spent an hour writing this on my phone before bed and I can’t believe it took this long. I thought it’d be shorter. Sorry!

[favoriteblogonthecitadel]

I’m especially curious about people’s thoughts on how some character deaths don’t make that much sense (glaring at the Thane writing) versus the need to have actual stakes in a story and making it feel like the war costs Shepard personally.

Also if you jump into this with Virmire Survivor hate you are obligated by HR to put on a clown costume and sit in the corner by yourself.

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

THIRD PLACE ROUND - Jiang Cheng vs Wen Kexing

The battle for third place is between Jiang Cheng (shixiong: Wei Wuxian) from Mo Dao Zu Shi and Wen Kexing (shixiong: Zhou Zishu) from Word of Honor

Propaganda under the cut

Wen Kexing:

(okay so the canon part is confusing. cause wenzhou are officially canon in Faraway Wanderers and are censored bromance in Word of Honor. but they're only shixiong/shidi in Word of Honor and not in Faraway Wanderers. so idk what you want to do in regards to the canonicity of their relationship)

I mean Wen Kexing is all over Zhou Zishu from day 1, though he has very complicated emotions surrounding the whole shixiong/shidi element to their relationship, he does eventually declare himself as the second disciple of Shiji Manor and publicly acknowledges Zhou Zishu as his shixiong. anyways if you know anything about Wen Kexing you know how desperately he wants Zhou Zishu, even the censorship couldn't hide the fact that Wen Kexing wants to rail Zhou Zishu to kingdom come

the utter simp that is WKX for his ZZS? No contest. None. None at all.

#WKX now actually fucked his shixiong like pls the entire book/show is about him wanting to get with him

#WKX hands down wanna fck or get fcked by his “Ah-Xu~” from day 1

#y'all have the audacity. as if Wen Kexing did baby trap is shixiong with TWO kids

Jiang Cheng:

Clinged to WWX constantly for 7+ years, wanted to have WWX as his right hand man forever after becoming sect leader, cried after WWX left, cried when he discovered what WWX sacrificed for him, was TORN APART when it got explained to him that if they were more outwardly close knit, WWX might not have died

PROPAGANDA!! to start, i'm still very bitter about how fairy lost the sentient animal poll and i want to win this badly. very very badly. current stats are 50.6 in favour of jc but that's too less of a gap for me. jc should be winning this by a landslide, y'all hear me? anyways. starting with a class act, like the clown i am->

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a few links ( because i'm chengxian trash, as always and i'd love if poll-guy could copy paste them on the og post): one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

to start with. jiang cheng is literally the picture of "i knew from the moment i met you that i'd spend a lifetime forgiving you".

the earliest dynamic of jiang cheng and wei wuxian is jiang cheng giving away his dogs (the only gift his father has ever given him, btw) because wei wuxian is scared of the dogs. tis only the start of it.

his father very obviously prefers his shixiong over him, his mother berates him for not being as good as wei wuxian and tells him his inheritance is in danger, and his sister (in my opinion) has more care for him (visibly. maybe jiang yanli doesn't show it because jc is an emotionally complicated purple grape, maybe because jc doesn't need it, or wei wuxian is traumatised but that's my opinion). but still. still. Jiang Cheng loves Wei Wuxian. so much. jealousy is like. the most tame response i can think of. and jiang cheng is proud of wei wuxian, okay? he'd believe his big brother if he'd said anything. want proof? well, here you go-> link

to paraphrase the link:

Jiang Cheng had just lost his family, his home, and his very golden core, and his older brother - his brilliant older brother who could fix anything, who could sneak wine into Cloud Recesses and defeat an ancient turtle nearly-god and make Jiang Cheng share a smile when Jiang Cheng’s mother was disappointed and furious at both of them - His big brother smiled and said, “I can fix this.”And Jiang Cheng believed him then, and believed him three months later when Wei Wuxian crawled out of the Burial Mounds (just the second miracle in three months), and believed him every day of the next seventeen(?) years until the pieces were shoved into place for him to see.

also. the circle these two go in protecting each other. (gif set by @sandushengshou), the 'if one of us is to die, then, i beg, let it be me' that they both do for one another in a seemingly neverending loop of sacrifice. via this post a la my lovely @backtoyunmeng

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jiang cheng is a cannonically ruined woman archetype, justified via the countless posts you'll get in the top posts of jiang cheng tag. he keeps chenqing, wwx's flute in perfect condition even when he hates wei wuxian, even when wwx, if only indirectly, has a part in jiang yanli's murder and oof okay someone pointed out to him that he's known to have killed wei wuxian and he almost cries. he absolutely believes, with his whole heart, that wei wuxian lives even when the world is sure he doesnt. and it always read to me like, i'd know if he was dead. he's a part of my soul, so i'd know if he was dead. he can't be dead.

this is getting too long, so, to sum up, some absolute poetry by @jiangchengsjawline

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#JC On The Other Hand Has His Entire Life Shaped By His Shixiong And Ended Up Cast As The Ruined Woman By The End

#jiang cheng though. wasn't able to fuck his shixiong but his shixiong definitely fucked with him

#hello?? the answer is Jiang cheng pls#he's the shixiongfucker or all shixiong fucker you wish you could be as pathetically in love with your shixiong as he is#chengxian

#i do not go here (chengxian) but the propaganda is incredibly correct they are insane abt each other#also sorry jiang cheng ik you're suffering but they are so funny to me#neway VOTE JIANG CHENG FOR CLEAR SKIN

#look I rarely go here#(here being chengxian)#but by GOD their lvoe compels me#they’re tragic and doomed and they love each other without knowing how to say it in words the other would understand#or in words at all because communication??? we don’t know her???

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he didn't even think about sacrificing himself, and consequently his entire bloodline, his sect, pretty much everything that depends on him for his shixiong??????????

is this not convincing->

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#had to vote jc though i have more feelings about chengxian#i think jc should have a huge gege kink

#like. jiang cheng should win the entire tournament hands down period

#jiang cheng#is the only correct answer in my gay little brain#i’m sure everyone else’s shixiong fuckers are great too#but jiang cheng is MY favorite#tumblr polls#mdzs#if chengxian fucked in canon it would make everything about their situation at least 65% less complicated you can’t change my mind

[beanghostprincess]

I don’t have many Op friends I can talk about this with but one of my top ship tropes is when it’s established that Luffy is slow on the uptake regarding people’s relationships and even HE knows someone is in love and pining. Like, to make a point at how utterly obvious it is. Sanji cuts food for Usopp into little bite sized pieces? Luffy just asks him something that indicates Sanji and Usopp are in a relationship and the cook almost chokes. Nami tries to write a letter and is getting visibly frustrated at not finding the right words and he just looks over her shoulder like „Say Vivi I said hi!“. He witnessed Shank and Buggy finally meeting at laughtale and there is just a bunch of „I WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED YOU!“ „I never wanted you to leave!“ „YOU WERE A COWARD!“ „Why does that matter now?!“ „BECAUSE I ALMOST GAVE UP MY DREAM FOR YOU!“ and Luffy just looks at this insane display in front of him while his idol does a homoerotic sword vs dagger fight with a clown and just „Are you seeing this shit Zoro?“ like… congrats . You’re being such a lovesick idiot even Luffy is like „Damn bitch you got it bad“

Honestly, this is extremely in character and pretty much not far from the truth. Luffy, despite being a dumbass, is a very perceptive person when it comes to people's feelings. One of his best traits as a main character is that he's empathetic to the point of knowing how people feel or what they want without needing to know the background or the rest of the story. I actually hate when the fanon perception of Luffy gets simplified to "he's an idiot" because yeah, he might be reckless and stupid and he's very silly, but he's emotionally mature to a sickening extent. Savior complex much? (Not that he wants to be a hero, god forbid, he would hate that. I just mean that his constant need to save everyone so nobody he cares about dies on him or gets hurt again has made him really aware of his surroundings and people's feelings). And, well, tbh he has always been like that. Very honest and perceptive, I mean. He might be a bit slow when catching up to some things and he might not know why people feel what they feel sometimes, but he knows what they're feeling. Get me? Like he might be aware of Nami being mad at him, for example, and not knowing why, but being aware that he has to do something to change that.

What I want to say with all of this is that Luffy noticing romance within the crew is extremely canon because he knows how his friends act, and if he notices changes in a person towards someone else, he might be stupid but he's not that oblivious. Like, he knows something's up. And to him the whole concept of pining is so stupid because if you feel something, just let the other person know! But then again, his relationship with Zoro is just different from that, and not everyone can have a devoted long-term marriage without saying a word.

And his reaction towards people pining would be hilarious because the guy would be exhausted from the crew having crushes and not doing anything. A Sanuso trope I love is Luffy going to Usopp like "Hey, confess already because Sanji has been distracted lately, and if he stops cooking because he is sad and pining for you I will be very mad" and he says shit like this and goes away and leaves Usopp alone with that information as if it was the most obvious and normal thing to do. But, you know, Luffy gets things done around here, at least.

[nevesmose]

I don't know anywhere near enough about Sanguinius to metaphorically crochet him into a little finger puppet for my primarch fics but how about a little baseless speculation about him and Fulgrim? Please note that this is all based on how I view them in the universe of my silly little stories and is in no way a claim about knowing how they are in canon / lore.

I would probably a) portray Sanguinius as a genuinely sweet adorable cinnamon roll too precious for this world and b) have Fulgrim utterly loathe him because of this.

I tend to write Fulgrim as being a pleasant and charming person who, deep down, is about 50% a deeply broken overthinking ultra-perfectionist and 50% really jealous and vindictive. Please understand that this isn't me saying he's just evil and always was because it really really isn't. It's entirely possible for someone with these traits to function perfectly well in society and not be a bad person in any meaningful sense.

However.

One of his formative experiences as a primarch was almost losing his entire legion due to the Blight corrupted geneseed that almost wiped them out right at the start.

He had to build them up himself from nothing with the constant threat of annihilation both in the sense that "if I fuck up a war and lose however-many thousand Astartes in a terrible accident on the double-ended dildo planet I have no reserves or replacements" and also "every use of our geneseed is a gamble against the horrific mutation coming back and destroying us all over again". In that context the solution he turns to, and the only one that probably makes sense based on his prior experience on Chemos, is perfection.

Make no mistakes, ever, anywhere, because the cost of failure is incalculable, even if it means committing science-treason so you can purge all weakness from your own space dudes. It's not a desire for perfection based on arrogance, although he is of course immensely arrogant in a lot of ways, but one motivated deep down by fear.

People like to clown on Fulgrim based on Jaghatai's infamous "I hear you do strange things to your warriors 😂👌" sick burn, but to be honest, viewed from his context, what Fulgrim's doing is somewhat understandable.

That is if we assume that the Khan isn't just making a cheap insult but rather is implying he knows a lot more than would be preferable about Fabius dicking around with Astartes genetics in order to detect and eliminate carriers of the corrupted gene-seed so that the III Legion, one of the smallest of all numerically, can still survive. And then a lot of other things too because, like Fabius could believably say in one of the weirder McNeill stories, forbidden science is akin to the ancient Terran delicacy known as Pringles. Once you pop you can't stop.

With that in mind it feels like a lot of Fulgrim's post-heresy actions, not just the snake orgies but the general distance and lack of care for his sons, comes from revelling in just finally being free of that level of stress and pressure weighing down on him at all times. Even Perturabo doesn't withdraw from the Iron Warriors that much and he's a dick.

Anyway, back to pre-heresy days. He has all this going on and then in comes Sanguinius with his giant fucking angel wings who everyone loves and who turned his legion into One Direction (not really but you know... perceptions vs reality and no one in this setting actually communicates with one another since they'd probably have a lot in common regarding fears of being mutants etc)

It's the kind of thing that I think would feel like a dagger in the heart to someone like Fulgrim. Directly highlighting and literally embodying all of his fears about mutation and imperfection and yet somehow appearing to get away with it while he has to exercise constant control and do horrible things simply in order for his legion to exist.

So for that reason I think he would absolutely hate Sangy and do everything he could to undermine him.

"Oh no, brother! I've accidentally spilled this entire Big Gulp cup of bright red Tizcan wine all over your beautiful white wings, and only moments before you were due to make a speech to ten million people about how wonderful the Imperium is! Let me help you clean it up."

And then he pulls out a Looney Tunes sized bottle labelled Fabius's Finest Molt-O-Matic Guaranteed Feather Remover and starts spraying it on him.