#cause I don’t think our plane is non stop ugh

[abbyindenhaag]

London Calling

In my opinion, we executed the usual staggering-around-post-Europe-arrival with unusual energy this time around -- possibly due to our luxurious travel arrangements. I hope I am not co-opting an existing marketing campaign when I brag that we arrived in “Mint condition” (ugh).

Above: Bart in his little pod. Below: an array of food I assume Bart was just barely able to choke down. (tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, etc.) Funny how context changes things -- normally I’d have not been that into a glass of elderflower something, but on a plane, the elegance of glass as a substance, especially when paired with ice, really strikes you. 

On my own I would have tried to navigate from the airport to the hotel entirely by transit, having judged a taxi from the airport to be too expensive, but Bart correctly assessed this plan’s magnitude of schlep (due to my additional non-rolly checked bag) to be Too Damn High. So we took a black cab (!!) from Paddington and were delighted to hear the classic London-accented cabby tell us about how we stupidly landed ourselves at a hotel that was at the finish line of the London Marathon the next day. Clueless Americans ourselves, we had no idea London even had a marathon, let alone that it was happening this weekend. I have to assume that’s the reason that of the people we passed on our subsequent misty walk along the otherwise-abandoned South Bank of the Thames, probably eight out of ten were jogging. Or Londoners are just *really* into fitness.

Above: Big Ben, small sabigail. I will say that Big Ben is notably much *golder* than I had realized from previous references. In other building-decoration news,  Bart told me later in the day that the Washington Monument is capped in aluminum because prior to 1950 it was incredibly rare. Love to travel with a materials scientist!!

Below: imagine the two figures in the statue below are joggers and you get a sense of the modal view on our walk.

We crossed into “The City” at Blackfriars in search of breakfast and afterwards made our way to “The Tower.” Other than the weird-looking dolphins everywhere (which I assume are London’s symbol) and all the names I recognize from ~somewhere~ (Shoreditch, Charing Cross, Blackfriars), London so far has reminded me a lot of Boston, especially on this stretch. And I swear it’s not just the marathon we (thought we) left behind coming back to haunt us! The stretch we walked through had a familiar "architecture through the ages” feel, with super-old, elaborately decorated brick edifices next to bulky concrete-and-glass things from the 80s (we think -- I always hesitate to opine on architecture now bc I worry Lizzy will see me being wrong). Bart felt it was a symptom of a country in decline, because the oldest new buildings would be newer than that if the city were doing well financially (e.g. NYC) but I feel I don’t have enough architectural education to make such nice distinctions.

Our next stop was the Tower of London, which I had thought would just be one building, but turned out to be an entire complex that was capable of providing any visitor with as large a dose of royal-historical tourism as they could desire. Our tour guide was a “yeoman guard”/“beefeater” (one of 33 privileged with the task) who gave an entertaining but not super-substantial overview of the important points. These important points included the failure of engineering that caused the Thames *not* to wash out the giant pile of refuse intentionally accumulating in the moat, but not much about how royalty throughout history used the Tower to exert power over friends and enemies, which I felt deserved more elaboration. I mean, I get that imprisoning, torturing, and executing people is a strong inducement to cooperation, but given there were apparently royal bedchambers in the tower it seems other things happened too which we didn’t hear about because they aren’t so titillating. However, we did get to see the royal jewels (minus the ones that are being prepared for coronation - a bit disappointing but also fun to witness the proof of their relevance). My favorite was the one with ALL the diamonds, which I think was called the imperial crown of India. Bart, who has seen bigger diamonds than the Koh-i-Noor, and “is no longer impressed with gold”, merely sniffed.

Above: Two Towers, ye olde and Brand Spanking New

Above: Interior of the Actual Tower, a.k.a. the White Tower. Built by Guillaume the Conqueror around 1100, Very Medieval, huge one-tree beams. Also a fireplace that all Ostriker Gals could have fit into without crowding.

Above: the most beautiful part of the tower, the chapel. 

Above: some interior houses, with weird trees. I have seen a lot of these extra-pruned trees which remind me of the Whomping Willow as depicted in the Harry Potter movies, and I simply don’t understand why they look like that. They are so ugly that it can’t possibly be on purpose, but I have also never known any plant except a cactus to look like that, and London is certainly not tropical. 

One nice touch was they had wire sculptures of animals across the complex, illustrating the Tower’s history as a onetime zoo.

Still lots of these old queenly insignia scattered about. In fact, the guards were still wearing uniforms with Elizabeth’s insignia -- it was the third-to-last day of wearing it, he said, because they were getting new uniforms before the Coronation next Saturday.

A 36-pounder (with Abigail for scale). We didn’t check but I think the cannonball would have been larger than my head. Bart, who is not impressed by gold and diamonds, was struck by their size and occupied by wondering how a ship could possibly fire dozens of these off of one side and not tip over from the momentum. I am hoping to go to the maritime museum later this week to investigate a replica of a ship; maybe we can determine the answer then. 

[ii-kanjiiiii]

A Crazy Day at Miku Expo

A Vocaloid shitpost story

Warnings: swearing, contains Kaito x Meiko

Chapter 1

It was a normal day in the Cryptonloid household, like always. It was 12pm and Meiko was already up because she’s a normal person.

“GET UP YOU IDIOTS WE HAVE TO LEAVE FOR MIKU EXPOOO!!!!” she woke the rest of the Cryptonloids up as she was a thoughtful person.

“OH SHIT I FORGOT!!” Miku screamed. Her hair looked like Chuckie Finster from Rugrats but had a much larger mass.

“WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE PERFORMING TONIGHT?!!? PLS NOOOOO I HAVE A PIMPLE!!!” Len cried.

Miraculously, all of them had somehow forgotten that they had a Miku Expo concert in the mystical country of Hajarputa that night. Except for Meiko, because she was a responsible person.

Once they were done packing and getting ready, they went into their private Miku jet which was covered with Miku faces and had big words that said “HATSUNE MIKU” because Miku is the best and owns the world.

Inside, ‘World is Mine’ was playing on loop and the wall was covered in Miku wallpaper and posters. Meiko sat on a Miku couch at the front, because Meiko is queen and is obviously the sexiest one. Kaito, being the simp that he is, sat next to her.

Luka went all the way to the back of the Miku jet and sat in a Miku chair in the corner, away from everyone else as she was tired of everyone’s bullshit.

Miku and the demonic twins were in the middle, just jumping around and throwing shit everywhere as they were still high as fUCK from the FRUIT loops they ate for breakfast.

Suddenly, ‘World is Mine’ stopped playing, and the pilot made an announcement through the plane intercom. Or whatever it’s called lmao I don’t know.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome onboard Flight Miku. We will be taking off from Sapporo to Hajarputa. I am Sonic the Hedgehog and I am your pilot for today. Just kidding bitch, my name is actually うんち(‘Jonathan Harris’ in Japanese). We are expected to reach Hajarputa in about 22 hours. I swear to God, PLEASE put on your seatbelts or you’re gonna fucking die. We also ask that you ensure your seats are in the upright position for take-off, if not you’ll fucking die. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, if not you’ll fucking die as well. Don’t smoke too, cause you’ll get lung cancer and fucking die. Thank you for choosing Miku Airlines. Enjoy your flight. I definitely will not crash this plane. I swear.”

'World is Mine’ was back playing on loop again.

“Well that was comforting,” Meiko said, being a sarcastic piece of shit.

“Lol what? I don’t remember hiring this man,” Miku said. “Lol, whatever,” she shrugged.

Some time after the Miku Jet took off, Kaito and Meiko started fighting over what they would name their non-existent kid that they would never have.

“If she’s a girl, Sakura is the best name!! It represents beauty and optimism,” Kaito said.

“It also represents death,” Meiko argued. “And who the fuck names their kid after a plant? Enaado is the best name!!”

“The fuck kinda name is Enaado?” Len, who was seated far away from them, muttered to himself. Meiko, who was somehow able to hear him, pulled a super soaker gun out of nowhere and squirted him all the way from the other end of the plane.

Some hours later, the vocaloids were bored as heck and ‘World is Mine’ playing on loop was driving them to insanity(except for Miku of course).

“Can you turn that shit off, Miku? I swear to God, if I hear “sekai de ichiban ohime-sama” one more damn time, my internal organs are going to explode,” Luka said, smashing her head against the wall.

“Geez, fine, Luka! You don’t have to be so mean about it, it’s not my fault you don’t know how to appreciate good art,” Miku rolled her eyes, then she changed the song to ‘Popipo’ on loop, which was probably 100x worse.

“YOU’RE my sekai de ichiban ohime-sama, Me-chan~<3” Kaito UwU-ed. She smacked him with a magazine.

Another time skip, Miku wanted to play truth or dare lmao. Luka, Miku and the twins sat in a circle and started playing.

“Oh yeah, by the way, Mei-nee and Kai-nii are in the game too,” Miku said.

“Wtf no thanks,” Meiko immediately said, not looking up from her magazine about self control & anger management.

“No, you can’t escape, Mei-nee,” Miku replied, staring intensely into her soul. She then got a piece of rope out of nowhere and tied Meiko and Kaito to their chairs.

“TRUTH OR DARE, MEI-NEE?” Miku asked, her eye twitching.

“Ugh, fine. Truth,” Meiko replied, as she had no other choice.

Meanwhile, Kaito was having Vietnam war flashbacks as Miku tying him to the chair reminded him of that one time he got kidnapped by Sonic the Hedgehog. (An event that happened in my other fanfic that I’m not going to post.)

“Do you want to make out with Kai-nii?” Miku asked with a stupid shitty grin on her face.

“What the fuck? Oh, HELL NO. I think I already know how this is gonna go,” Meiko muttered.

“AnSwEr tHe qUeStiOn!!!” Miku yelled impatiently, flipping the fucking table.

“Dare!” Meiko quickly said, sweating.

“I dare you to make out with Kai-nii,” Miku said, raising her eyebrows up and down like fucking Mr. Bean.

Upon hearing this, Kaito’s attention was caught and he snapped out of his Vietnam war flashbacks.

“GODDAMN IT!!” Meiko cursed.

“Oh my GOD, Kaito. Don’t give me THAT look,” Meiko said, terrified for her life as she noticed Kaito looking at her with considerable interest.

“Why the hell did you give that dare, Miku? Literally NO ONE wants to see that shit,” Len said, staring judgingly at Miku. He definitely did not have to see his parents smashing their faces together.

“Yeah, Len’s right,” Luka said. “Aight, Imma head out. Bye bitches,” she flipped her fabulous long hair and strolled out elegantly. Once she reached her seat at the far corner of the plane, she opened her laptop and looked at images of the Gingerbread Man from Shrek.

“Shut up Len and just watch the show!” Rin, who was just as delusional as Miku, scolded.

“MEIKOUT MEIKOUT MEIKOUT MEIKOUT MEIKOUT” the crazy girls started chanting.

I’m so sorry

I really have no idea where this shitty fanfic is going

TIME SKIP LOL

It was nighttime and the Cryptonloids were sleeping in their beds with Miku blankets and ‘Popipo’ was still playing on loop. Suddenly, the Miku Jet started shaking really hard, then everyone flew out of their beds and hit their heads on the ceiling. After a few seconds, the Miku Jet stopped shaking and everyone fell back to the ground.

“Heh heh, sorry folks. Just a little air turbulence is all,” Pilot うんち announced.

“What the actual FUCK?? “A ‘liTtLE’ aIR tUrBuLeNcE” he said!! I don’t think we should be entrusting that guy with our LIVES!!” Meiko seethed. “I’m going to have a word with him.” she stormed off to the Pilot’s cabin.

“Wait Me-chan, I’ll come too,” Kaito said, and tagged along with her for extra support because he was a good boyfriend.

Once they reached the Pilot’s cabin, she slid open the door and shouted “LISTEN UP, MISTER, DO YOUR DAMN JOB PROPERLY!!”

“Oh, Meiko-san, hello!” the pilot spun his chair around and smiled. “Oh, Kaito, you’re here too! How’s it going, buddy? Has Sonic been bothering you any more?”

Meiko and Kaito’s eyes widened as they realised who the pilot was.

“FUKASE??!!!!” they screamed in shock. His Ronald Mcdonald hair was unmistakable.

“No, I’m うんち. Who the hell is Fukase?” うんち/Fukase said.

“WHY ARE YOU FLYING A PLANE, FUKASE??!! AREN’T YOU LIKE, FOURTEEN?!??!!!” Meiko screamed.

“Uh, no, I’m fifteen. Also, the age of consent in Japan is thirteen, sooo I don’t see any problem with it,” he replied.

“WHAT THE HELL DOES AGE OF CONSENT HAVE TO DO WITH FLYING A PLANE???!!” Meiko screamed, ripping her hair out. I really need to stop using scream.

"Umm… with all due respect, Fukase, are you even qualified for this?” Kaito spoke up.

“Yeah, DUH. I’ve had years worth of flight experience from Microsoft Flight Simulator on the Xbox!” he replied. “What kinda dumb shit would hire someone who ISN’T qualified??”

“oH mAN OH GOD OUR LIVES ARE IN THE HANDS OF THAT DUMB KID OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD-“ Meiko was hyperventilating in the corner and hugging her legs, sweat pouring down her face. It was unlike her to freak out like this, she was usually calm and kept her cool. However, this is Fukase we’re talking about, and any rational person would be freaking out and fearing for their lives.

“Breathe, Me-chan, breathe,” Kaito attempted to calm her down. “Don’t worry, okay? Everything’s gonna be just fine. Nothing bad will happen. Everything is okay,” he assured her, hugging her tightly.

“How would YOU know that???” she asked.

“I don’t,” he replied. “When things get rough, denial is all we have,” he said, giving his Stupid Bakaito Grin™.

TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE???1??1

[eerythingisshaka]

Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 8

[Erik Killmonger x Black!OC]

Word Count: 4k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6  Part 7

It’s the night before the vacation, and Kimara is still ripping around the house trying to figure out how to fit as many outfits into her bags as possible.  

Erik sits on the bed scrolling through his phone.  “It’s only five days, Mara.  You already overdoing it.”

Kimara comes back with a couple of neon colored swimsuits in her hands.  “I just have to have variety for the ‘gram.  That means a different look a day, maybe even a couple different looks a day.”  

Kimara got to her knees, stuffing a bag and closing it.  The zipper traveled laboriously around the lip of the luggage, sticking at a thicker point.  Kimara sat down on the bag to help it along a the zipper groaned close.  

She takes a large exhale before saying, “Damn!  I didn’t put my sandals in there!”

Erik scoffs as he gets up to use the bathroom.  “You can just wear them to the airport or put it in your carry on.”

“No my carry on is filled with my hair and skin products, plus some towels cuz I don’t trust their towels, you know that.”

As Erik relieves himself, Kimara gets quiet, getting up and looking at herself in the mirror.  Her fresh golden brown goddess locs flow over her breasts and down her back as she spins around checking her body’s profile.

The toilet in the other room flushes as Erik comes back, drying his hands on his pants.  “Whatchu doin?”

“Well...I’m thinking this may be the last vacation I take as someone without kids.  After this break, We finally take some major moves to go into getting pregnant.”

Kimara puffs out her cheeks holding her stomach as her vision goes blurry.  The tears beat her before she could stop them, racing down her face to the finish line at her jaw.

Erik pulls her into him, rubbing her back gently.  “It’s gonna be so good, because you’re good.  We deserve a break and we deserve a family.”

Kimara holds her arms around him tighter, tears manifesting even more but out of his loving words.  She never thought that after telling him she had her abortion that he would have anything kind to say to her.  But it’s almost like it unlocked a much needed door that opened him up to fulling standing by her and her needs.  

“We do deserve it.  It’s been so hard, but I know we can do it,”  Kimara sniffles.  Erik kisses her forehead, wiping some stray tears from her face.  

“Now, I don’t know about what you got left to pack but long as you have your passport, I think you have enough stuff.  Go on and wash you ass off and get some sleep.  The flight early as a motherfucker.”

Kimara agrees, going over to her vanity to tie up her hair.  Erik grabs his phone and bounds down the stairs.  He takes out a bottle of water, cracking it open and hooting after the cool liquid freezes the inside of his chest.  

Hearing the shower turn on upstairs, Erik sits at the dining room table and dials T’Challa.  The phone rings and rings.

“How are you, N’Jadaka?”  T’Challa greets him warmly.

“I’m good, pretty good.  Y’all excited for this trip though?”

“Ah, Iman is very excited.  She has been looking forward to it ever since my invitation.”

“Good!  You making sure she stay looking cute for you?  Got her some nice pieces to impress?”

T’Challa answers slowly.  “I...am glad you brought this up.  We are no longer considered a couple.  This will be a friendly trip for us at best, but we are not linked romantically.”

Erik expresses genuine shock, mouth agape over the phone.  “Damn man, what happened?!  Mara made it seem like y’all were a good look at that one dinner thing y’all came for.  Shit, the fact you bagged her the first night told me you musta really been feeling her.  What, she didn’t like your Jesus slides?”

“Aye!”  T’Challa scolds him like a grandfather who can’t catch nobody for a whoopin but they know not to try him anyway.  “My footwear has nothing to do with it.  We are simply not compatible, but it was amicable.”

Erik shrugs.  “Well whatever it is, I guess it’s for the best.  I don’t get why somebody would pass on a literal King but listen, I will take you clothes shopping with me and we can make you over so you’re pulling females right and left!”

“Enough, I won’t beg for attention,”  T’Challa says.

“Fair enough, aight.  What about you then?  Does it make it kind of awkward to go now your girl ain’t your girl?”

“No.  It has been a while since I visited an island for pleasure, so it will be a nice change of pace.  How about yourself and Kimara?”

Erik gets quiet, twisting a stray piece of string from his sweatpants that will guarantee making a hole if he snatches it.

“Well we good.  Mara is excited and I am too cuz I need a break from the whites over at Boeing and this city air.  But I did wanna talk about something she said to me that made me kinda take a step back, you know.  Not like I’m stepping away but like it pushed me back like WOW.”

“Say it simply and clearly, N’Jadaka,”  T’Challa says.  Erik sometimes rambles when he has something big to say and T’Challa never fails to be impatient about it.

“Right, right.  Aight.  So, we having our time together, just hanging out and stuff when she turns to me and tells me something I did not expect.  Like, I don’t know how she could keep that from me for so long considering all we been through.”

“What was it about?”

“Basically, she comes to me and says that way back, before we were officially a thing and before OUR shit together….Mara had an abortion.  The baby was mine too.”

T’Challa sits on the phone quietly.  He assumes this is the best method of digesting the information he already knew when he first met Kimara.  She poured her heart out to him in the midst of Erik’s recovery and rehabilitation.  But Erik couldn’t hear that and take it well.

“You still there, Challa?”  Erik asks after a while.  

“Yes, it is just a lot to hear.”

Erik throws a hand up.  “Fuck yeah it is!  Like...all this time we been trying for a kid.  She didn’t think that should be brought up?  I wonder if the doctors even know.  That might be the problem we having in all this!  Maybe her shit got botched or something.”

“I am sure the doctors would have noticed something wrong with her during routine examination if that were true.  Non-surgical abortions are an option.”

Erik scratches his head.  “Sure, yeah.  But...why didn’t she say this YEARS ago!  I been fucking with her for a decade, and she doesn’t trust me to know this?  I’m still here!”

“You were different then Erik.  So angry and feeling betrayed, she assumed you would think she betrayed you too.”

Erik thinks back to when Kimara met him in Wakanda, how tired she looked.  But his reasons for being there were all about himself and Kimara wasn’t ready for that responsibility, that’s when she left him there.  That was the best thing she could’ve done for him because he worked that whole year trying to get right for her again.  And she was there in that studio she loves, waiting for him like always.

“I would have a ten year old right now.  Almost middle schooler right now!”  Erik exclaims, thinking about a little Mara/Erik hybrid running around and causing havoc.  

“You can still have that.  Just be honest with each other and what you are feeling,” T’Challa instructs.

“Yeah, I been doing that.  I can tell Mara been walking around like a puppy caught chewing a shoe since she told me.  But I won’t let her see me upset, I need her to know I am there.  That’s what made all this happen in the first place right?  I wasn’t there, so...Imma be there.”

T’Challa wants to say more but fears overstepping the bounds of Erik and Kimara’s relationship.  “Tell her you are upset about it.” 

Erik hears the shower upstairs turn off.  “Nah, I’m good.  Her feelings are all I’m worried about.  I can’t risk her turning from me again man.  But thanks Challa, you always got a good er for listening, so I’ll talk to you later man.”

Erik hangs up to go back upstairs, feeling lighter having had a talk with someone he trusts.  Kimara is already laid up with the covers under her chin, fake sleeping.  Erik takes off his pants, rolling into bed with nothing between his skin and the sheets.  Mara is wrapped up in one of hs tshirts and turns her back to him to allow her little spoon to fit his big spoon.

“Why are you acting like you cold?”  Erik asks.  Kimara is usually in the buff like him when they sleep.

“Because I am.  You got the air on too damn chilly,”  Kimara’s teeth chatter as she settles in to him, his body heat eventually making up for the lack of heat outside their blanket cocoon.  Erik kisses her behind her ear, thinking about tomorrow’s trip with a little dread.

--

Kimara, Erik, Iman, and T’Challa all make their way off of the plane as they arrive at the beautiful resort in Turks and Caicos.

“Look at all the amazing views!  That water, ugh!”  Kimara excitedly rolls her luggage over to a window that oversees the resort’s amenities.   An infinity pool, hot tubs, massage areas, sauna, a bar that catches Kimara’s eye for having real coconuts to drink from.

“Erik, look!  That canopy I think has the couple massage shit.  I reserved it for us on Thursday at 10am.”

“Ok, princess.  That sounds good,” Erik says with not nearly as much excitement.

Iman stands next to Kimara, eyes widening.  “Ooh child, yes!  Imma look good for these champagne papis looking for a sugar baby to spoil.  Can we please get our room so I can change out of these airport struggle clothes?!”

“I hear you on that,” Erik says, leading the group to the reception desk.  Kimara hangs back with T’Challa who has been awfully quiet.

“Are you and Iman…”  Kimara whispers.

“No longer a couple,”  T’Challa finishes.  “It’s not something to worry about, we are friends.”

“Oh ok, cool.  Cuz when she started talking about finding a sugar daddy I was like whaaa?”

T’Challa shrugs.  “She is free to do as she wants, as am I.”  T’Challa offers Kimara a soft smirk to confirm his contentment.  

Kimara gives his arms a squeeze.  “Ohh, T.  You got your pick of the litter around here.  You the damn ultimate sugar daddy!  I just don’t understand the girl!”

“Most people don’t recognize fortune at their feet when their nose is in the air.”  Kimara lets out a small ooh enjoying the lowkey burn T’Challa just sent Iman’s way with her being none the wiser.

Erik and Kimara split down a hall to the left as T’Challa and Iman split down a hall to the right.  The hall is decorated with hanging plants and wicker framed artwork, giving off heavy gentrified bohemian vibes.

As Erik opens the door to the room, Kimara bursts in and rockets herself into the bedroom.  Erik rolls his and her luggage in.

“Damn, this place looks nice as hell baby!”  Kimara calls out from the room.  

“It should be for what it cost.”  Erik looks out at the beach below watching some middle age white folk laying like lobsters out in the sun.  Middle aged white folk running along the shore.  Elderly white folk sitting in the ocean.

“There sure is a lotta fuckin white folk here,”  Erik says, walking around the room to check out the bathroom and kitchen area.  The fridge has fresh strawberries and grapes, a sack of bagels, orange juice and a case of bottled water.  On the counter next to it is a menu for room service and a schedule for group meals during their stay.  Erik takes it into the bedroom with him to alert Kimara.

“You tryna catch dinner happening tonight?  Supposed to be a barbecue thing.”

Kimara groans, head face down in the pillow, locs sprawled all around.   “I can’t even think about eating when my body just wants to do nothing.  I’m tired.”

“You sure?  I know your ass finna get real hungry later.  You ain’t had nothing but them pretzels on the flight,”  Eric warns.

“I can’t get up!  And I won’t until I knock out, Erik please let me sleep.”

Erik tuts at her.  “Ok, princess.  But I ain’t paying this high ass room service cuz you slept thru dinner.”

Kimara wiggles around, fighting her hair to get a good look at him.  “Stop acting broke, Erik.  It’s not a good look.  And you know I’m grown right?  I can do what I want?  Right?  Ok, glad we up to speed.”

Erik rolls his eyes as Kimara plops her head back down, shimmying under the covers like a prairie dog.

--

Kimara rolled over to one side, feeling the grip of sleep starting to loosen its hold.  Kimara stretched from her fingertips to her toes, seizing up in the bliss of her fully relaxed muscles.  She sits up, pulling her locs back as her eyes adjust to the dark room. 

“Where the fuck- OH!”  Kimara puts a hand to her heart, forgetting that she was not home and still on vacation.  

She gets out of be and checks the time on her phone is 11:14 pm and a waiting text from Erik.

“Did I really sleep for 8 hours?” Kimara asks herself, wiping her eyes as she looks around the room, finding a lamp to turn on.  She sits on the couch feeling her stomach grumble.  

“Goddamn I am hungry,”  She says, picking up the pamphlet Erik was looking at for room service.  But it ended at 10:30.

“That is bullshit.”  Kimara sits back pouting, wondering what she was going to do for food.  She checks her phone again, almost forgetting Erik texted.  

BBQ in fridge, it reads.  Timestamp says 7:13pm.  

Kimara bolts for the fridge to find a tinfoil wrapped plate sitting on the shelf just for her.  She does a little dance to open it up, finding pork ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, green beans and a roll.  She takes a bite of the bread first, shimmying her shoulders with glee that it is a King’s Hawaiian.  

She pops the plate into the microwave, hopping on her tiptoes in anticipation for some chowdown goodness.  Once the microwave beeps, the room door opens.  

“Sleeping Beauty finally awake?”  Erik asks, his breathing is a little labored.

Kimara picks up her plate and brings it to the kitchen bar, climbing up on a stool.  “Mh-mm, not until you come over her after leaving me all day on vacation.”

“Girl please,”  Erik says walking over to plant a kiss on Kimara’s lips.

“Oof, you are sweaty!  What you been doing tonight?”

Erik’s tank top draped over his shoulder, Kimara stares at the glistening of his scarred skin as he gets a bottle of water.  

“Me and T and his girl been downstairs hanging out, mostly me and T though.  How’s your barbecue?”

Kimara shrugs.  “It’s ok.  The sauce could be better but long as the meat ain’t pink I’ll call it a blessing.  Hand me that salt shaker by the stove.”

Erik does so, standing on the other side of the bar to wipe his face and neck with his shirt.

“And I am so surprised they are even on this trip together still,” Kimara says while shaking some salt over her beans and corn.”

“Who?”  Erik asks.

“T’Challa and Iman!  You know what, I forgot to mention.  I spoke to T’Challa at check in and he said they broke things off.”

Erik points in the air, remembering, “You right yeah he mentioned that.”

“Oh, he told you today while y’all were hanging?  Did Iman say anything?”

Erik shakes his head.  “Nah, he told me the day before.”

Kimara cocks her head to the side thinking.  “The other day?  Like yesterday?”

“Yeah, I called him when we were packing.”

“But I didn’t hear you talk on the phone.  We were together that whole time,”  Kimara says, pausing her meal to think about it.

Erik shrugs.  “You were in the shower.”

Kimara wants to fold her arms but her bbq sauced hands prevent her.  “Hand me a paper towel.”

Erik does so.  “Is something wrong with me taking a call with my cousin?”

Kimara scoffs while cleaning her fingers.  “Not at all.  What did you all talk about?”

“The trip.  Just how excited we were and then he brought up they aren’t a thing no more.”

“Really?  Huh.  I think that’s weird Erik.”  

“What’s weird about it?” Erik counters, looking sternly at Kimara.

“You didn’t tell me you called him and you almost always tell me when you’ve seen him or heard from him when I ask you about the day.”

“Almost, you said.  SO this one time I didn’t.  I don’t think you asked about my day either,”  Erik quips.

“Because we were together the whole day, I know how it went cu I was there.”

“Sure.”

They pause in silence for a minute, Kimara staring him down and Erik returning the glare.

“Problem, princess?”  he asks.

“You’re hiding something.”

“I talked to my cousin, what else is there to it?!” Erik barks, making Kimara jump on her stool.  She gets down, creating some distance.

“All I asked is what you all talked about.  And I didn’t even know you had a conversation with him one day before our trip, I think it’s sus.”

“Oh, I’m sneaky?  That’s a big accusation.”

Kimara felt something twist in her chest.  “What does that mean Erik?”

Erik walks into the bedroom as Kimara follows.  He turns into the bathroom and starts the shower as Kimara sits on the bed waiting.  When Erik comes back out, Kimara wastes no time.

“You told him didn’t you,” Kimara says quietly.  She doesn’t look at Erik, hoping she is wrong and overreacting and waiting for him to say so, but he sits down instead.

“I told him what you told me.”

Kimara exhales deeply, holding her face in her hands.  Erik takes her into his chest, comforting her.

“You didn’t have to tell him.  Why would you tell him?”

“Like I said.  He’s my cousin.  Family oughta know and he knows a lot more worse shit about me than this.”

Kimara looks at Erik, holding his face in her hands.  “I’m sorry you had more shit to tell him.  How did he react?”

Erik shrugs.  “Kinda just neutral.  It was so long ago, I wasn’t acting upset so I think he knew he didn’t have to be.”

Kimara feels a small victory in that.  She still feels like she should confront T’Challa about it, just to make sure they are on the same page.

“I’m glad you weren’t too upset then.  You don’t have to tiptoe around me, just tell me what’s real.  We gotta be honest about what’s going on.”

Erik gives a small smirk.  “He said something like that too.”

Kimara hugs Erik, taking this battle as a win.  “You can take a shower now.”

Erik chuckles.  “Yeah me and T had a volleyball match downstairs that got hella intense.”

Kimara gets up, putting on her shoes.  “Well I think I should take a walk along the beach some.”

“Yeah, you got energy now from that long ass nap of yours.  Be careful though.  Call me if you need something.”

When Kimara makes it to the bottom floor, the automatic doors leading outside create a gust of air that whips Kimara’s sundress almost too high for public decency.  As she steps out on the sand, she looks around the dimly lit beach area.  Along the sand there were vendors and seating but into the ocean the sky was so dark and the ocean almost looked like oil.  The moon wasn’t shining so bright, so she could barely catch any blips of light against the waves.

“Kimara!” 

She turns to see Iman bounding towards her.  She has a generous F cup size, barely being held by her neon yellow bikini top, making her noticeable even in the night.

“What’s going on?  You just woke up?”

“Yeah, too bad I didn’t set an alarm.  Heard you guys had fun.”

Iman smiles.  “Hell yeah we did.  T and Erik had their guy time, being macho all on the volleyball court.  Busted two damn balls cuz they throwing their hands so damn hard.”

Kimara laughs.  “Erik refuses to let T’Challa win in anything so that’s accurate.”

“Right!  Hey look, so project Sugar Daddy is underway.  I got a bunch of drinks off this old man that kept a tab open.  I think he forgot because he’s old but that’s besides the point.  But he offered to play yahtzee or mancala  or something tomorrow with some of his buddies.  That should be lit!”

Kimara throws her hands to the sky.  “I mean what else is there to do.  Make sure his tab is open.”

“Only way to play!”

Kimara looks around Iman.  “T’Challa is down here, right?”

“Uh huh, cooling off over there even though he barely broke a sweat.  He act kinda like a mutant sometimes.  Too cool and too strong.”

“Is that why you couldn’t stand to be with him?” Kimara asks.

“A little, yeah, and that tooth necklace he always wear is weird.  He wasn’t giving me a lot of himself so I figure good dick is everywhere.  I’ll pass.”

Kimara shrugs and dismisses herself to go talk to T’Challa.  He is laid out with his hands behind his head, looking rather peaceful.

Kimara comes up to him and smacks his perfectly toned stomach.  T’Challa peeks open one eye knowingly.  

“Kimara,” he says in a monotone.

“Don’t gossip with Erik, ok?”

T’Challa sits up.  “In what way?”

“I mean in the only way.  Speaking behind my back.  Talking about personal things without the other person’s input.”

“If this is about your shame-”

“HA! Shame?  You keep calling it a shame, I am not ashamed anymore!  He knows and he is fine.  We are fine!”

T’Challa blinks unperturbed.  “Then what is the problem?”

“Just!”  Kimara sits by his legs to form her thoughts.  “Erik didn’t know about that, you did.  He hasn’t known for years and just found out.  If he knew you knew, wouldn’t that be a problem?”

“No.”

“Exactly, so-- Wait, no?”

“No, it wouldn’t be a problem.  Because if he blames you, he is completely missing the situation he put you in.  It would be selfish of him to hold that against you.”

“Uh huh…”

“But for you to not say anything at first was for his benefit when he was emotionally and mentally bruised by his background.  However since he has recovered and continues to, holding that back then turns into a betrayal to him because it looks as though you don’t trust him or yourself.”

Kimara stands up.  “The fuck?  Why wouldn’t I trust him?!”

T’Challa shrugs.

“No you got so much to say, say what that means!”

“All I know is I have no secrets between you and I or he and I.  Why there is miscommunication between you two is something for you both to find out.  And I suggest you do before becoming with child.”

“Fuck you T’Challa.  Honestly.  Don’t come at me like this.  I said keep your mouth shut about me around Erik, period.  So do that.  I don’t know why you came on this trip anyway.  It was a couples trip and you brought a random bitch out here like that’s ok.”

“It didn’t cost me much,” T’Challa says, sinking back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

Kimara walks along the beach fuming.  T’Challa was so blunt with her, he hadn’t acted like that with her in a long time.  T’Challa acts like he is so perfect, but he isn’t.  Kimara sighs heavily with the prospect of being here four more days but T’Challa will not be with Erik for as much of the trip as possible as far as she is concerned.

Masterlist

Ragtag

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku@dameshaemonique  @fonville-designs@destinio1@bakarisange l@wakanda-inspired @klaine15689 @savageiz @nickidub718@yoyolovesbucky @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife @bakarisangel @amorestevens​ 

[theonewiththefanfics]

Limited Space (one-shot)

Synopsys: One room. Two beds. But will both of them be used?

Pairing: Tom Holland x f!Reader; OC!Juliet (Reader’s character’s name)

Genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, like blink and you’ll miss it

Warnings: like one swear word I think :D

Word count: 3739

       “Y/N.”        “Yes, Jimmy?” she dramatically flipped her head to the side causing her hair to swish which made everyone laugh a bit at her antics.        “When you found out you weren’t going to be in ‘Civil War’ with these guys, and Tony was going to get a new protegee in Spider-Man, what were your thoughts? Did you kinda go up to Kevin Feige and ask if he was replacing you?”        “Funnily enough,” Y/N pointed at Tom, “when we first met on the carpet for ‘Civil War’ that was the first thing he said. “Please don’t think I’m replacing you!”" she imitated his London accent though quite badly making everyone chuckle, and Tom had to bite his lip to keep the smile at bay.        “If I’m being genuine –“ she continued, “I was just terrified I was gonna be fired. Cause after ‘Age of Ultron’ where it turns out the Hulk took the plane to space and ended up in Sakaar, I thought that’s what would happen to me. And I was pumped,” Y/N emphasized the word, “but like, Mark and I were keeping in non-stop contact while it was leading up to Phase 3 announcements, 'cause neither of us had any idea what was happening to our characters. And when it was announced Hulk would be in 'Ragnarok', yet for me, it was radio silence, and then Spidey flipped into the ‘Civil War’ trailer… I-“ she laughed, “I kinda started sweating.”        Robert patted her knee as Y/N made a motion of ‘cooling off’ with her hand. “And then for like two more weeks, there was nothing. Mark knew zip, though that was a smart decision on Marvel's part.”        “Is he still not trusted by anyone?” Jimmy chuckled, and Robert rolled his eyes.        “Listen,” the legend started, “everyone loves him, and he’s such a kind person. Whenever something slips past those loose lips,” he looked over his tinted glasses at Tom as well, “it’s never from a malicious place. Like those two are just excited and want to share that with the world, but when you stream the first fifteen minutes of the movie on your Instagram… you kinda lose the access to the secrets.”        The audience erupted into laughter as did Y/N. She had gone to the 'Ragnarok' premiere to support her friends, and the movie and clearly remembered the woman poking Mark in the back and angrily whispering for him to turn off the Instagram Live that was still going. At the afterparty, for the first twenty minutes, that’s what everyone was talking about.        “And what about you, Tom?” Jimmy brought the conversation back on track. “When you found out you’d be in Civil War but had no contact with Y/N or Juliet in this case what was your first thought?”        “I was really scared that she’d hate me,” Tom laughed rubbing his neck and looked at Y/N, who waved him off. “ ‘Cause Tony’s and Juliet’s relationship is one of the strongest in the MCU, and now that he’s recruited Peter, I was genuinely terrified. Especially of her fans, like they are passionate about Juliet, which I totally get. I just hoped that she’d be nice and accepting when we did meet and got to work together.”

       Y/N rolled her head to the side and looked at Tom. “And am I as scary as you thought I’d be?”        “In the mornings, horrifying,” Tom sassed, and Y/N slapped his shoulder with mock hurt on her face while Robert exclaimed a ‘watch it, kid, that’s my daughter! I might be dead, but I’ll come back to haunt your ass.’        “Did you kinda help him fit into the dynamic of everything?” Jimmy continued on, and Y/N looked at Tom.        “Not really, no,” she shook her head. “He just fit in so perfectly on his own, that nobody had to do anything. Sure, like helping out with the scenes and advice like that as peers, yeah. But there was no ‘here’s Tom. Now be friends’ kind of a thing. And in the end, I was off in space, and they were kicking Cap’s ass back on Earth.”        Someone in the audience hollered a ‘Team Iron Man’ making Robert blow a kiss in the person’s direction. Given how he wasn't with them to promote Marvel anymore and was there for the re:MARS initiative, it was nice for all of them to catch up.        “Honestly,” he piped up, “I couldn’t wait for Infinity War and then Endgame, to film with this one, and then see us on the big screen reunited,” he affectionately ruffled Y/N’s hair.        “Me too,” she smiled, “though, when we saw Spidey and Iron Man interacting with the Guardians, yet no Juliet, I started to think maybe it was just like a mock scene that wouldn't end up being used. 'Cause by that point, everyone knew she was rolling with the Space Avengers, and maybe it was just to throw everyone off. But filming it was a really amazing experience, ‘cause Juliet hadn’t seen her father for what now,” she looked at Robert for confirmation, “three-four years? And suddenly they meet again, but he has a new protegee and stuff. It was interesting to see how the dynamic would evolve, and how she’d feel about Peter. As evident in the movie – she kinda liked him.”        “So, no rivalry between the two of you?” Jimmy motioned with his hand.    And Tom placed his head on Y/N’s shoulder making the audience aww. “None whatsoever.”        “Good answer,” she patted his head. “I’ve trained you well.”        But as everyone laughed, Y/N was completely unaware of how Tom’s heart galloped in his chest from that small touch and show of affection. Fuck, he was in deep.

***

       “Ugh,” Y/N groaned putting a hand against her back and stretching, feeling the air between her vertebra pop. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”        Robert gently patted her shoulder. “You and me, kid, but we know we can’t. Chris will kill us if we miss the barbecue.”        “Which one?” Tom asked, dropping his suitcase on the floor. “Pratt? Evans? Hemsworth? Pine?”         Robert cocked his eyebrow. “Since when did we have Pine?”        Tom shrugged his shoulders. “Zoe is slowly collecting all of them. And honestly, I wouldn’t be that surprised if they had some sort of a Chris-convention.”        “Chrisvention?” Y/N quirked her eyebrow settling on the arm of the couch.        “Chris-con?” Tom offered.        She snorted. “That just sounds like crisscross.”        Robert rolled his eyes removing his glasses and placing them on the mantlepiece. He had invited the two youngsters to stay with him since they both were like his kids, especially after having known Y/N for almost a decade, and now having taken the young Brit under his wing, he didn’t want the two to sleep in hotels if he could offer the comfort of his own house.        “Okay, you two, off to bed,” Robert clapped his hands interrupting the weird conversation they were having and shooed them up the stairs having grabbed Y/N’s suitcase much to her grumbling that she could do it herself. “Now, the other guestroom is under renovation so you’ll be sharing. Two beds, one bathroom, unfortunately. Need you to be up bright and early so we could get to Renner’s. And no funny business!”        “Ok, Bobert!”        They heard a high-pitched whine of ‘stop calling me that!’ as he retreated before a door closed shut, leaving the two with their eyes rolling and heads shaking.        “I swear, he’s such a diva,” Y/N joked bringing her suitcase in and dropping it on top of the bed. “The Marvel fame’s really gotten to his head.”        “I know!” Tom exasperated in that same ‘I don’t actually mean it’ tone. “It’s like – chill it, Rob!”        Y/N snorted and zipped open her bag pulling out a set of pyjamas consisting of an incredibly old and stained shirt with some shorts. “Rob?”        “I know,” he wrinkled his nose. “Regretted that as soon as I said it.”        She hummed listening to how Tom unpacked a few of his things and gentle music erupted all around them when he hooked his phone to the speaker.        “Any requests, m’lady?” he said in a very much so overly exaggerated British accent which Y/N didn’t think was possible, seeing as he was, well, already British.        “Why yes, I do actually,” she spun around, her bag of toiletries pressed against her chest as if it was her palm. “Let it be ‘Bowling for Soup’ – ‘Here’s Your Fricking Song’.”        Tom bowed and typed in the name. “As the lady wishes.”        With the upbeat track of late 2000s punk-rock, Y/N skipped to the bathroom and started to get ready for the night. Without even thinking the two had engaged in a sing-along, and she even held her toothbrush as a microphone.        “I get drunk and you get pissed!” she screamed, and Tom responded, “You start dreaming I don’t exist!”        “I say yes, and you say no!”        Without missing a beat, he sang, “Like Katy Perry says, you’re Hot and Cold!”        “With all the shit that we’ve been through, this the best that I can do!” they sang in unison, Y/N almost choking on her toothpaste. “Can I still get lucky tonight?”        Cackling she entered the bedroom and bowed in front of Tom. “The bathroom’s all yours, kind sir.”        The pure happiness on Y/N’s face was a sight Tom never wanted to forget. It was just the way her Y/E/C eyes lit up, that sparked his own joy and released a horde of butterflies to trash around his stomach.        Venturing away from Y/N he released a shaky breath and looked at himself in the mirror.        “Pull yourself together,” Tom muttered to his reflection as if the counterpart could actually take charge and calm him down.        The music still played switching from one song to another as he brushed his teeth and washed his face from all the makeup that had been caked on his skin for the show. With satisfaction, Tom watched as the beige and brown colours went down the drain with the running water, freeing him from its confines and bringing back his own face        Sure, there were impurities. Acne spots, little pimples pushing to the surface, a scar here or there. Usually, when he was around people without them covered, Tom could feel a bit insecure, as if each and every person had a magnifying glass to their eye and were focusing in on just those things. But with the people he was comfortable with, the people he trusted and loved, there was none of that because more likely than not, he had seen them in that same kind of state.        Or in Y/N’s case, with her face covered by a white spot-treatment mask making her look like a weird version of a Dalmatian. She was sat against the bed’s headboard with a book in her lap (her usual state) and sweet melodic music Tom recognized to be the soundtrack for ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ wafted around her.        “Getting in the mood?” he asked moving to rest on his own bed, acting as if his heart wasn’t beating a mile a minute.        “Kinda,” Y/N muttered through pursed lips. “In the movie, the scene where Tristan and Yvaine are up in the clouds they spent so much more time with the Captain, where in here,” she pointed with her chin to the pages of ‘Stardust’, “it’s barely been two pages, and they’re already off. And his name isn’t even Shakespeare!”        “What outrage!” Tom mocked and received a pillow in the face for that, phone dropping to his lap. “Rude much?” he threw it back, but Y/N easily caught it.        “Captain Shakespeare is my favourite character!”        “And you still have the movie to see him in,” Tom’s eyebrow rose. She had nothing but a groan as her response.        Y/N read for a bit more while he distracted himself with social media, but it wasn’t long when she placed a candy wrapper as her bookmark and turned off the bedside lamp.        “ ‘Night, Tom,” Y/N yawned and hugged a pillow closer to her chest.        “ ‘Night, Y/N,” he replied, watching her relaxed features for a bit, before residing to the night himself.     Nothing but the moon and stars twinkled outside, illuminating the bedroom with a pale-ish glow, and while he waited for sleep to claim him, Tom watched Y/N rest, her body cast over with the moonlight making him think she was some sort of a princess from a fairytale under a spell, and the glimmer was showing him the way to break the curse.     The dead silence of the night was interrupted by his soft voice uttering her name.        “Y/N?”        “Yeah?”        “Are you awake?”        She snorted and turned on her back. “Given how I just responded to you, yeah. I’d say I’m awake.”        “I dunno,” Tom chuckled. “You could be sleep talking.”        “Then I must be a pretty bomb-ass coherent sleep talker,” he saw her put a hand behind her head. “What’s up?”        “I can’t sleep.”        "Why not?”        “ ‘S just… I dunno… It’s stupid…”        “Well, it’s not that stupid if you’re losing sleep over it,” Y/N propped herself on her elbow to get a better look at Tom. Even in the complete darkness, she could distinguish the worry in his face and what seemed to be embarrassment. “I won’t judge.”        With one last huff, Tom relented. “It’s just when we were in England doing press, I could go home, and sleep, and Tess always slept next to me. I dunno… I just guess I miss something warm to cuddle next to… told you it was stupid.”        “No,” came Y/N’s instant response. “It’s not stupid at all. If you wanna hear something stupid, is that when I first got the role of Juliet, which was my first role like ever, I slept in Evans’s trailer for like three weeks, 'cause he had Dodger with him, and I had forgotten Huks home. Took a while for it to arrive, so I had to improvise.”        She saw his eyebrow raise. “Huks?”        “It’s a plushie husky. Couldn’t go to sleep without it… in fact, I still have worse sleep if it’s not with me than when it is. So, no. I don’t think missing Tessa or her cuddling with you is a stupid reason to be unable to fall asleep.”        Tom just wanted to scream out that it was the most adorable thing ever, and that Y/N had to stop before his heart did, but before he could even mutter that her reason wasn’t stupid either, she managed to speak up first.        “Do you maybe wanna sleep next to me? Not in a weird kinda way, just… you know… you said you miss something warm next to you...”        “Are you sure? ‘Cause I don’t want you to d-“        “Stop worrying and get under the covers,” Y/N hissed but she was smiling as she did so, waving him to come to her bed. “Though, I do have to warn you – I’m a very violent sleeper,” she said scooting to the side.        “How does… that work?”        “It means,” she grunted pushing a bit further to the edge and settling down as Tom slipped beneath her bedding, “that I might just, unconsciously kick you, and no matter how far you sleep from me, you’ll end up either on the very edge of the bed or on the floor.”        “Also,” Y/N extended a hand, “this is you promising not to sue me for whatever damages my sleeping-self might cause you. A broken nose or a rib – awake me is not at fault.”        Tom clasped her hand and sighed. “And here I was getting ready to cash in.”        “Sucks to be you then, cause this deal is unbreakable,” she shrugged and gave him one last smile before turning her back to the man and giving a ‘goodnight’.        “Goodnight,” Tom muttered to her already softly breathing form, but he himself couldn’t find rest.        Although he thought it might actually help him to have something warm to sleep next to, it seemed like his brain was going into overdrive, and his heart was about to collapse.        She stirred for a second and rolled over to face him, making his breath hitch. Y/N was so close to him that he wouldn’t even need to stretch his hand to caress her face.        “You’re so beautiful,” Tom whispered looking at Y/N’s closed eyes. And unbeknownst to him, her heart almost exploded because although she looked like she was dead asleep, a twitch in her body had jolted her awake, and now she was very much so alert. “I wish I could tell you this while you’re awake… or just in general, I wish I could just grow a pair and do it, but I guess this’ll have to do for the time being. You’re so, so beautiful,” his thumb brushed over her cheekbone, and Y/N had to suppress the hitch of her breath.        “And I don’t just mean how you look ‘cause fuck, darling you are a dream… marvellous… but your mind… your heart… the first time we met I thought I’d have a panic attack because you looked at me so softly, I felt my mind go numb and everything just tuned out of focus.”        “And then we got to know one another more,” he released a barely-there sigh, but Y/N still heard it, “and I couldn’t help myself. I started to fall for you. You had a boyfriend at the time, so I knew I had zero chances, but it didn’t matter to me. I was giving my heart to you every day bit by bit, and it didn’t even matter if you broke it or not, ‘cause it was already yours to do as you pleased.”        Tom released a bitter chuckle, and Y/N could feel him shake his head. “But still somehow I’m too much of a coward and a twat to say how I feel despite it being almost four years, despite both of us being single.” She felt his gaze roam her face and tried her hardest not to flutter her eyelashes. “I guess I’m just too afraid to lose you. In any kind of capacity. I’d rather have you as a friend than not at all… that I couldn’t take…”        That was the thought that made his heart clench the most, and tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. One of the biggest fears, when it came to relationships and friendships he had, was, if he told her how he felt, that Y/N would just shove him out of her life completely. So he surrendered himself to loving her from afar. And he let her love him her own way. It was better than nothing.        Quickly before they to dropped to the pillow, Tom wiped the tears away and finally settled for the night, the weight pressing on him lifted if only for a moment before it would come crashing down in the morning. But Y/N had other plans.     “Do you mean that?” her voice trembled, and Tom’s eyes shot open to see her already looking up at him     “Y-Y/N? I thought you were asleep.”     “Answer the question, Holland,” she murmured sliding her hand up to the nape of his neck and pulling his face closer. “Do you mean what you said?”     “Yes,” the word was a breathless whisper as his forehead now rested on hers. “I mean every. Single. Word. I am in love with you.”     And she needed nothing more than to nudge his head away, brush her nose against his and press their lips together. The two practically sagged against one another with relief that the kiss was reciprocated. Y/N’s hands had gently woven to tangle up in Tom’s chocolate locks, both to feel the softness of them and to pull him closer, while one of his palms had settled on her waist and the other was cupping her cheek, his thumb gently stroking the side of her face. But something just had to ruin the mood, and it was Tom’s laughing.     “What?” Y/N pulled back annoyed and frustrated because that one kiss was just not enough after almost two years of her own pent up emotions.     “Robert said no funny business,” he giggled.     Her eyebrow quirked up. “And?”     “And this is funny business.”     “Oh my god,” she groaned, chuckled and slipped out of the bed. “You’re a literal child.” Smacking a pillow over his face, which Tom easily caught Y/N bounded over to the bed he had been previously occupied and slipped under its covers.     “Wait, no, come back!” he whined reaching over the end of the bed, flopping down on his belly with an extended hand. “Please,” and he gave such an adorable pout that it almost broke Y/N, but no. She crossed her arms and put her nose up in the air.     “Nope,” she shook her head, but even in the pitch-black darkness, Tom could see the smile she tried to suppress. “You thought it was funny kissing me, so no kisses or cuddles.”     “Please?”     “No.”     “Please?” his voice increased with each syllable.     “No.”     And then Tom rolled onto his back and pouted, giving Y/N the best puppy-dog eyes in the world. Like if there existed a contest for that kind of a thing, he’d totally get the prize. “Please come back to bed and cuddle with me?”     She couldn’t say no anymore. She never could and never will be able to say no, and that’s when a realization hit her – he had Y/N completely wrapped around his finger, but she didn’t mind that.     If the kiss and his warm arms wrapping around her waist was what greeted her when she clambered back under the sheets, and his steady heartbeat lulled her to sleep, she didn’t mind being wrapped around his finger at all.     And truthfully, with how huge the grin was that spread across Tom’s face as he kissed her forehead ‘goodnight’ this time for real, neither was he too upset how wrapped around her finger he was.     In the morning he had to remember to say ‘thank you’ to RDJ for the limited space he had in his house. And although he did wake up with a sore in his ribs where Y/N had accidentally kneed him during the night, he had never been happier about a predicament in his life. After all, it’s what gave him the chance to speak his heart.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan@nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae

A/N: should I do like a part two of the next day????????

P.S. what did ya think?

P.S.S. my tags are always open. just drop a message :)

[sidlottedream]

Wish Upon A Star

Fanfiction

Part 1

Sanditon Alternative Universe fanfiction

Sidney Parker x Charlotte Heywood

Esther Dehnam x Babington

and others

***

authors note: I decided to write a modern, alternative world Sanditon fanfiction, borrowing the characters from J.Austen book. 

It’s a Christmas story 

I hope you like it.

I have to say thanks to @ladysusanknowsstuff for sort of prompting me to write another Sanditon fanfiction.

🎄

Two days before Christmas Day

"OMG- are we having a white Christmas or what!!" Georgiana said as she walked in the apartment she shared with her friend Charlotte huffing and puffing. She tossed her bag on the sofa taking her coat off, "it's snowing like mad!"

"I know- I've just cancelled my trip to Wilingden- my sister is peeved cos I am not coming- my brother is staying with his girlfriend's family in York " Charlotte put her phone on the table.

Georgiana walked to the fridge and got some water out and then looked at the place that had no Christmas decoration at all.

"Huh- I have to call my dad- he so going to be disappointed-last year I was working - this year it's blizzard, so no planes will be taking off -I can't believe I'll be stuck here though -we don't even have a tree!"

"We always leave and there is like no need for a tree. And I have nearly been living in my office every day for the last two months!" Charlotte said now also looking at the apartment that had a very minimalist style to it and not one Christmas decoration.

"Well, will sleep the Christmas through. I am off to have a shower and call my dad. The sooner the better!" Georgiana said disappearing through a corridor into her room.

Charlotte walked to the window and outside it looked like London would become one huge ice box as the storm was starting to pick up. The forecast said blizzard - and so it was. The brunette scrunched her face in disappointment. She so looked forward to her trip to Wilingden to see her sister and her nephews. She was the perfect host and her Christmas was always one from a fairy-tale. It also took her back to the time of her childhood there. Now sleeping through Christmas seemed to be the best option.

Her phone ringing brought her back from her thoughts and she went to pick it up from the table answering the call."Esther- no- I’m at the flat- and you?"

"At the pub." Esther said, "We finished work much earlier than I thought we would and we went for a drink- looks like we will stay here tonight- it's mad outside! Why don't you come down- everyone is here!"

"I don't know" Charlotte said-"not really in the mood"

"Seriously- the party is in full swing - come on!"

She  now heard Diana shouting in the phone, "Get down here, Heywood.” 

"She is there?" Charlotte said.

"Come on -you two need to bury the hatchet! It's Christmas!!" Esther said, adding once again, "Everyone is here!! Get Georgiana-she's not answering her phone!"

"Yeah-why not!" Charlotte said and hanging up went to knock at Georgiana’s bedroom door.

"Come in!" Georgiana said looking at her friend with a sour face.

"How did your dad take it? Not good!" Charlotte said knowing the answer.

"Can it get worse?” Georgiana huffed.

"Esther called- they are at the ‘Admiral’! I'm going!" Charlotte said.

"They? That means Otis is there, too?" Georgiana asked, her eyes glittering.

"That means Otis is there too!" Charlotte shot a significant look at her best friend.

"It can get worse!" Georgiana puffed away.

"It's Christmas- maybe you can two can be friends again! Start from there.”

"You think we can be friends -after what he did” Georgiana breathed in deep.

"Sorry- I know we said we won't talk about it ever- but - I am not leaving you here on your own- there's a party out there - and we need fun- lot's of it- all we did is work work this year!" Charlotte suddenly got her bossy frown on and Gerorgiana agreed to come along.

Soon, they were fighting their way with the snowfall to the pub.

The bar was owned by Arthur Parker, and it was the favourite hangout of his friends and family. The Parker’s were also known for throwing a good party. They were also known for being big time heart-breakers- and Georgiana had a taste of that last summer.

"Yay! They made it!" Arthur shouted as Elena and Caroline came in nearly completely frozen.

Esther went straight to her friends. As the girls came up to the counter, Arthur slid the prepared shots for them to warm up a bit.

"So, I hear you are staying in London for the holidays!?" Tom cut in greeting both Charlotte and Georgiana.

"We are" Charlotte replied-"this going to be the bleakest Christmas ever- we don't have a tree- and there is only frozen yogurt and pizza in the fridge- ah- Georgiana and I decided to sleep it through."

"Sounds bleak- " Tom said and as he wanted to say more Mary swooped in apologising for the interruption, and took her husband away.

Charlotte took a deep breath and now got ready to have it out with Diana Parker.

"Right-look-" Diana started-"ok, first sorry for being a complete whiny bitch. Well- being a bitch and sorry for making things difficult with Sid."

"Wow!" Charlotte was wide-eyed "I never thought you would admit that. Ok. What is really going on?"

"What do you mean?”

“This is about James - I told you that there is nothing going on between us. We’re only friends!” Charlotte raised her eyebrow at Diana.

“If I help you with James - you got to help me with Otis and Georgiana.”

“Ugh- you drive a hard bargain!" Diana was not really happy about it.

"Take it or leave it!" Charlotte said victoriously as she knew Diana had it bad for James Stringer, and all got really confusing the last summer in Sanditon.

"Deal!" Diana said and smiled happily and now floated away to one of her friends.

At the bar, Georgiana was talking to Esther who was somewhat ignoring  Babington’s presence and  yet somewhat paying very much attention to his conversation with Sidney. Charlotte joined them as she finished sending Stringer the message about the party here and at ‘The Admiral’.

"So, buried the hatchet?!" Esther asked her friend.

"Sort of-" Charlotte replied mysteriously.

"Right " Esther didn’t want to dwell into it and changed the subject, "we've been talking about you staying and the silliness of you two sleeping the Christmas through. Sidney here suggested they would take care of the tree and the food- and we can get it all done tomorrow. I know it's Christmas Eve- but hey- it will stop snowing eventually-" Esther now shot a poignant look at Babington.

"Sidney?" Charlotte was baffled that he suggested such a thing or maybe not.

Sidney Parker, who now heard her and moved suddenly all his attention to her involving his best friend Babington in the conversation as well.

"Tom said that you said that you will have the bleakest Christmas ever - well, I thought- why should you. We can help you out- we have caterers ready in no time- also can get one of the trees from our many trees from the mansion delivered to you- our mother overdoes everything- "

"Yes!" Arthur now stepped in, "you can even take this one from the bar if you like it- it's just crowding the space here"

"Why would you do this for us?" Charlotte was surprised at such generous offer.

Babington swayed his look at Esther and then turned to Charlotte,"Seriously, you need to ask?  You are our friends- and we like you- a lot! It’s as simple as that."

Esther took a mental breath and just took a shot of gin. The hurt was still very much alive in her. Her heart just didn't want to shut him down. 

"No catering necessary" Charlotte said, "I am going to cook! You just get the tree! But aren’t you going to Sanditon?"

“No, we are staying in London” Sidney now spoke. 

“You can all come to our place for Christmas” Tom shot from the side looking at Sidney, giving him a nudge to kind of agree with the sudden invitation.

“Yes. Come to our place for Christmas.” Sidney said looking at Charlotte with his eyes gleaming warmly at the brunette.

This came out as a great surprise and Georgiana now reacted cheerfully, " Now you're talking!"

Sidney raised a glass at Charlotte, who smiled back at him, nodding a yes.

 And what was the actual deal with Charlotte and Sidney? Well, they were great friends. Did they harbour other feelings that go beyond the "friends"- thing. Arthur would say DUH! But both of them felt that if there were anything more it would ruin the friend thing and so they stayed in the zone, even after the kiss in Sanditon a few months back. But they both dismissed it, as staying friends seemed to be far more important. Also, there was a certain meddling from Diana, as well as Sidney’s lingering feelings for a certain ex, Eliza Campion. 

Only Babington and Esther had kind of blurred the friend-zone with their short something in the summer in Sanditon. And for an unexplained reason or a non-intentional mix-up Babington understood they were non-exclusive but Esther thought they were exclusive and afterwards when Babington spent a night with his ex everything went kaboom.

Last, but not least, Diana, who was the feisty sister, who fell in love every five minutes, always choosing guys who cared more about her money than her heart, who was very fragile, hiding it behind a bitchy exterior. Charlotte and her didn't hit it off, which caused her advocating for Eliza and causing problems  quite inadvertently with her and Sidney. 

Ok, and now back to the party in the pub.

Every year they had a game going and Arthur now rang the bar bell announcing it. “Everyone, it's time for the Make My Wish Game! You know the rules, and those who don’t Tom will explain!"

Make My Wish was a game invented by the bar staff- people would write down their wishes on a peace of paper with their name on and all is put in a bag and then randomly people would pick out the papers with the wish needed to be fulfilled.

Arthur, as the owner, made sure that there was no indecent wishes, expensive and offensive ones. People who didn't follow the rules were disqualified.

What wishes did our heroes and heroines of this story put down? Hm...you can imagine or write it down yourself. Anyway, Stringer arrived just in time to write his wish down.

Will all their wishes come true- those written down and those hidden in their heart? What do you think?

Ho-ho-ho...

[glopratchet]

intro

In the world to come there is little sin You see a flash of light and then darkness There are just lots of american alligators "What the hell was that? " you ask "I dunno, but I think we got some sort of new enemy out here They seem to be coming in waves It looks like they have something similar to what we had with those other guys down at the lake though A lot more powerful too…they don't look friendly or anything either We need to get back before they overrun us completely! After the election of the first ungendered president, a domino effect was put into place because politicians believed it would boost their popularity if they adopted this new genderless system All of this would be irrelevant because of some scuffle thousands of miles away, but that is another story… With anonymity came an intense hatred for the governments of the world Several important people were executed to make a point by the terrorists: nobody was safe Several protests tore across the world for months until the entire system collapsed in on itself The prediatrain movement caught fire in america "It's a scientific fact that people are not responsible for their actions when the environment in their brain is subject to rapid change and growth due to hormones " And so, prcreatures had the right to vote too The most Widespread use of neurochock technology finally put an end to the plague spreading lies about how "love conquers all " With affordable versions implemented soon after by efcc, psycnore generation has effectively ended The demand for american alligator meat skyrocketed when the first giant alligator swam up from the marshes to find human flesh The communist population absolutely LOVED it You wake up screaming Whorals where burned to ash while polled hereford heifors fetched a pretty price when it came down to slaughterhouses Life had become a surreal nightmare of nightmarish torment Whorals where burned to ash while polled hereford heifors fetched a pretty price when it came down to slaughterhouses Over a billion dollars a head in auction website fees were collected for the alligators This story may or may not be real Over a billion dollars a head in auction website fees were collected for the alligators Googizon won the bid to construct for the military the most forward thinking alligator farm in existance You are given 50cc's of Sodium Pentathol and wake up from your nightmare It currently floats near the okeenokee snow swamp Your name is Flynn Hazard and this is your story A Molpi sniper bullet with its bayonet makes you jump out of the turret hatch moments before him and Elios pull you from the tank "Oi! Vahm, we're hoooming! " Elios says Accidently stepping on a Sybian wire, you are hurled into a tree over that mysterious snake like creature lying on the ground A…Psyker? This is not that story You continue running Probably guns blazing That's more your style These disorganized beast men make for easy picking with shoot-em-up video games THIS IS THE END OF THIS STORY THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ERA You walk within paradise Where everything has gone to Hell, you've personally saved everyone - male, female, transgender, non-binary; everyone has been saved and this is the new heaven We are primal ponds inc and we've saved you from hell Thanks for playing our game! A small mom and pop alligator farm attemping to make it We need you to make deliveries for us An ally Ugh It's too early to be drinking this much Please I'm dying here, man Is that all, sir? Who give a flying FUHHCCKKK! Delete! This filth! Purge the sinful nature that has infected this world Send them to the barren void Turn their earthen fill into interplanetary space The government, all powerful as it is, conspired with Molpy Bob's psychic prowess developed delicious strangled fantasies and sold them to children Point of view of the player: The last human survivors scurry about a corpse A corpse that died so that they could have food, water, energy, and whatever else they needed to survive this hellish nightmare the world has become You are one the human survivors Your friends Your loved ones Everyone you know is here with you Everyone but your brother; he chose to stay behind when the apocalypse struck Or rather he was left behind A delivery champion his truck captured by the first group of ravenous undead You remember him putting up a sign saying 'Out of order' Ah, your dearest brother Makes you laugh to think back then Before all this happened To think everything was so different back them; he was cringing about having 'out of range' signs on his truck when what he had was an out of range life support system But I digress, that was the start A delivery champion, He had a secert life as billy fea fbots vstar ohtr The signs were to stop the other life Anyway, back to present times and zombie plague There's talk of a vaccine through some old computer that was miraculously unharmed by the collision that sent it into a freezing lake Or something, you didn't really pay attention You mostly just sort supplies and clear walked zones nowadays, but everyone does their part for staying alive He had a secert life as billy fea fbotsvstar ohtr And one more thing UNDEAD! You alert the group about the snow zombies shambling in from over the hill "I'll bring up the federal government's freeze rays, Stevey fires his fully automaticNASAraceblastahatthat'llkillanything! " You shout at each other It turns out no one has made a crappy real time virtual reality game dedicated to this escapade would've been much more useful When you wake up it looks like the government won't have to bother sending a vaccine after all: everyone is dead or undead, the military having taken most of the hit It seems only you are strong enough to not turn into one of the brain-eating monsters You don't get hungry or tired and can only guess that whatever infection caused this mess mutated you into the perfect predator: no emotions and an absolute killer It turns out no one has made a crappy real time virtual reality game dedicated to this escapade would've been much more useful Delivering dragon tail in the far, far, future We proudly introduce today 'sgame: Undedtedded We proudly introduce today'sgame: Alligator delivery service MANUAL: It's the pixilated hell of the future as zombies and demons jump up and try to eat you You can jump with space, drop down with ctrl, make roundhouse kicks with a, throw random objects; (which I'll get to soon) with s, taunt with tab, and quit the game with q The taunts can distract some demons allowing you to do massive damage and sometimes even kill them The alligator farm where the gator are delivered is currently under attack as part of the alligator delivery service have been hired to save them while they are transported by plane to a safer area You need to accomplish this without the alligator coming into contact with zombies and demons that spawn in tropical areas The gator has a ravenous appetite and one bite from him and the pilot will drop the same way pilots do when they get bitten in cape coralside The alligator farm where the gator are delivered is currently under attack A series of construction tasks need to be done to get the plane up in the air, such as opening the gate and turning on the water Sometimes you will come across certain items or areas that will allow you to play various mini-games: cupies planet, mushball, super mario bros zombie edition, nes and much more so on top of all the caos your having fun too! You crazy kids are probaly going to love that A series of construction tasks need to be done to get the plane up in the air, Already we own over four over ten foot alligators that had escaped until you got there You wonder just how many of them are out there considering this is an alligator farm About the only thing in this world that'll eat a zombie or demon and live are alligators Most creatures die quickly in this pixilated hell, even the fish die fast Where's the reset button? Don't expect to find it Already we own over four over ten foot alligators that had escaped until you got there Including rex lex, there are six varieties of alligator that you'll be dealing with The smallest of which is a mini alligator that's not even two feet and merely acts as a container for random items if somehow managed to trap 2 or 3 of them in a playpen then you could make yourself a pestcontrol device Yep, it pretty much allows you to massacre zombies from a safe distance A massive 14 foot beast that will make mincemeat out of any zombie or demon it touches These guys are fast too, fastest creature in the game Who talks like that? This guy does and he's bringing his alligators to your rescue A massive 14 foot beast that will make mincemeat out of any zombie or demon it touches Each on is incredibly detailed with over twenty bioligocail parts like a functioning mouth, eyes, and skin Two different types of each exist and you can command them with your minds! And I don't mean your average run of the mill standard mutant zombie telepathy I'm talking full on Dungeons and Dragons Spell Casting Each course in the Magic Missile spell will fire a flurry of Magic bolts at your enemy giving you the edge in close combat Each frog has their own individual flavor too Each on is incredibly detailed with over twenty bioligocail parts like a functioning mouth, Part one the selecting of it In the beginning when you complete the first course in the Magic Missile spell a list of things will pop up as to what you can create with it All you have to do is scroll over it and hit enter Part two: Building Up Part one: Part two is the easy part, all you really have to do is concentrate and build up the power to create your ally then construct it with your mind It can take some getting use to, but in no time you'll be building the spell faster than max building a barricade Part three: control All you have to do is will whatever you created to do something and it will obey reverse thy process and it will go away Part two is the easy part, Part thee playtime; (control it in real life) Part three begins when you first make your pet You can make whatever you want whether it be human, animal, machine, or my favorite monster each create will have different abliities and commands, but all share one ability that'll scare the bajesus out of any non-believer Part thee: Part four Part six death of the prototype When your creature or creation dies merely rebuild it and it will come back to life, so long as you remember what you had built before Part six: Part seven Come back to realty Just stop concentrating on your pet and it will slowly fade from reality It will stay in your memory, untill sucha time that you wish to rebuild it once more ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Come good sir, the salest begins now! Grab a partner and let's see the funds begin to flow in for a good cause! Part seven: Part eight death of the owner When you die the full plans to how you built your creature will be left in a safe storage place A new owner/ create will then eventually be chosen to take your place in being caretaker of New Georgia Part eight: Part nine Time Time is of the essence and begginings are always the hardest But fear not brave Gaurdains of New Georgia as I am here to help you in any way I can If you have any quesitions feel free to ask me anything, if you need immediate back up just yell and I'll come a running It's been nice knowing ya and keep up the good work defending humanity from itself : Part ten This does not replace the bible This is merely a guideline to aid you in your new life We are currently broadcasting their vital signs over at americanalligator xyz 808 344463 /Join_Point For more information on Project Izlavet! xyz 808 Our alligators come in many different sizes, so please pick one that fits you and your lifestyle We offer Hatchlings, Small, Medium, Large, or Giant Adult alligators ! For more information on Care for your pet please visit our website at americanalligator xyz ! Live the American Dream Today! Ages, shapes, sexes and shades only your imagination is the limit From house Pets to guarding your motel Unleash the inner kid, inside you Would you liek to own your own American alligator? Who knows, you may become a respected breeder or even open up your own sanctuary! Also check out our many other offereeings at the americanalligator zyooooogl! sexes and shades, The like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn but they also are getting rid of the bad people stricly optional but many have found them helpfull to aid in home protection Even Lady Justice is proud to own an American Alligator named Sparky! they are very loyal and protective creatures that make great pets They are bugdet friendly, do not need a license and they only eat meat; your hoem will be lovingly guarded like theres no tomo and spawn but they also are getting rid of the bad people They love to fight and gossip The hens are great mothers and make wonderful pets children, but can be a little naive to lying The roosters are the leaders of a flock and love to rule, they make terrible fathers though Only seeking out hens to spawn with, leaving as soon as possible to go find more hens Honestly due to this behavior they are frowned upon by most powerflocks and considered bad role models for young chicks Still it is known that a certain major religion worships them They love to fight and gossip! The algorytms which run each alligator is closely modeled after your own brain sentient but lack many features such as built in defense systems and AI capabilities like reprogramming That doesn't mean one cant be hacked though so some training should be given to new owners before turning the alligator lose online and leaving the rooom For low price of only $5 per month you can have an electronic unlocking device that will listen to your brain frequency and allow you to unlock it anytime! The algorytms which run each alligator is closely modeled after your own brain After the habits of the real world reptile, alligator missippissus have a molt every five weeks they shed their skin like clockwork after a period of three days they lock themselves in a dark place and eat nothing Do not disturb them during this time or the skin will not come off easy and could result in damaging the alligator which would require an expensive surgery what else can be said about them, pretty common animals for the most part ish most have at least one as pets Their lungs breath and thier hearts beat just like yours All around good people and available at most pet stores Owners love sending in heartwarming pictures for our website! Orders for gator teeth are starting to accumulate a few dayst and we can pick out a pair for ourselves Then upgrade our sword! Makeup sure you get your payment to me today or else I cant pay for the gator teeth shipment tomorrow! You know how this works, money upfront Hope you brought a big bag along today, because were going shopping at the Jewelers Row! You tap Gwen with your knuckles She jumps up, shredding the newspaper in surprise Orders for gator teeth are starting to accumulate, We just need your help to fund creation of the wrestling simulation video game you were dreaming about! Since you are a supervisor at the Tech repair dock you have access to the newest and top notch developments in VR gaming A smile forms on Gwens face as she stares off into the crowd while listening to your instructions She gives a thumbs up and starts pushing through the crowds towards the Jewelry's district The job pays out at 93k and we get 5% of all covered expenses We just need your help to fund creation of the wrestling simulation video game you were dreaming about! Our desire is to create an expierence which leaves you dripping with satisfaction and the dripping of blood The game should be done by this time next month if all goes well! But thats a pretty big IF For you see, this IS the very first attempt at creating such a large project in this time period! An inch to the left and Gamesville could be paying out millions rather than bankrupting itself, but we will make sure we get it right See you at the end of the month boss! Our desire is to create an expierence which leaves you dripping with satisfaction From the feeling of utter terror and awe as you combat one of these unpredicatable beasts We serve realism Anything else would be a sacasticism to the deaths of those who fight with all thir might against these beasts and anything less than accurate would be poor representation of those heroes Focusing more on mystery, adventure and discovery rather than gore and violence VR makes even the most bestial of enemies seem formidable thus avoiding repetitiveness A game should make you think, feel and wonder not just tear out your guns and loose interest in five minutes Hours of alligator combat video have been studied Now we just need to budget of 500 dollars towards the creatation of these Games and they shoud be ready! Ok so four specialist workers have been assembled for the design of our games Mike has years of expirance with Fighting games, but also is into Adventure games He'll make sure it's appeal crosses genres He just needs a pen a paper and time in which to work his magic Amanda then Amanda is fantastic with 3D design as was worked on some movies as a designer Now we just need to budget of 500 dollars towards the creatation of these Games and they shoud be ready! Of an accurate alligator wrestling simulation So moves and logic should be top notch By giving these artists the tools to work with they can make something wonderful They need a computer which is top of the line and all the programs needed to make our games graphics and gameplay realistic Amandas costs have been covered so she can 3D model the wrestler, ring and all those gators! We just need to pay her 225 an hour for research, planning, design, redining, testing and making sure everything goes well And on behalf of all the artists improving perfect beeing Let's see what mr Coding can eke out of our money Coding requires a computer as well as a good mind for logical planning to make sure the game works on most stages He's also going in with ot without a big risk as despite being planned, changes may need to be made on the fly which could risk crashing the computer if he doesnt program wisely Between him and Amanda one of them should cover most eventualities in the programming! Thank you for allowing us to serve your alligator fantasies Thank you for allowing us to serve your alligator fantasies! Sofware is taking over everything a these days Without good software your computer is junk so better the programers you know than the ones you don't! Steve has 24 years of expirance to bring to the table, we're pretty sure he can make do with what we give him Sofware is taking over everything a these days We will be the last one standing when all others have fallen! Well we're ready to get started, wish us luck Apparently in exchange for a special offer those running the grocery store will allow us store to organize our event from their 24 hour opened deli! It's a tiny space but it'll have to do I guess because alcohol is involved they have some restrictions on after hours use of their buildings We might still have to use the backroom of your garage until the festival begins We will be the last one standing when all others have fallen! The artists become in time we all will be artists of our world, the creation of these masterpeices shall secure games progress forever But without beautifying our buildings in which they shall be played it will feel less inspiriting then one would hope something must be done about the ambience! Something that brings a feeling of class and dust jacket art quality I know! I'll buy some art from local high-school students and slap it up on the walls! That should bring in those feels The artists become in time we all will be artists of our world, The human condition is to become an artist This shall be our greatest creation yet! The human condition is to become an artist! We cant do it know be have sacracity filled with high schoolers talentless works I know this place has regular art displays but I think we need something cooler So just go around and scoure the town for local artists and get their info and artwork The older they are, the more outlandish and edgy their subject matter the better! Just dont forget to look for quality of cotton string in their work No bad painty paintings cluttering up the office please! We cant do it know be have sacracity filled with high schoolers talentless works So people have to be responsible for coming in to our deli because we cant just leave them unattended Thankfully because of the nice weather you guys can sit and drink coffee either inside or outside on our patio types thing But Greg the manager says that everybody needs to order at least a drink each once an hour or be asked to leave if there getting too rowdy I guess while your out gathering artists info you can take pictures of the event with your phone? So people have to be responsible for coming in to our deli because we cant just leave them unattended The big picture at the end of this festivae will reveal itself along with its prizes but for now let's collect some postcards from different places around town 'til next time, stay creative! artists info: Zac Broadhurst: an old man who has been painting for 60 years, most of his paintings are very tranquil The big picture at the end of this festivae will reveal itself along with its prizes but for now let's collect some postcards from different places around town Algrothymic story telling with algrothymic alligators 20 year old hipster who likes heavy metal and monsters Let's get some pentagrams going on, yeah! Looking over at Amanda she is starting to fidget and isn't even looking at the paper in front of her but more looking sightly downwards and to the right It seems your game has really affected her greatly The subtle head movements suggest she's trying to make sense of something and then it suddenly stops She looks back at you 'To Books? Algrothymic story telling with algrothymic alligators! Chances are your are going to be entrenched in a feeling of dread for quite awhile after this but before that black cloud comes you must take advantage Your theory is if you can get her to a quiet secluded place then maybe just maybe Yes! The library was it? Was that the last one? " You ask with enthusiasm 'To the library it is then! ' In your mind you are repeating "Don't look down, don't look down Your five minutes later 'Excellent! Chances are your are going to be entrenched in a feeling of dread for quite awhile after this but before that black cloud comes you must take advantage Utter terror and awe sometimes as you encounter an alligator you have neve seen before 32 years experience tells you to keep moving and greatings will be exchanged at a later date Your even later Victory! One postcard from the library in your hand and your walking back to the Deli discussing the days events It's the end of summer now which means your last year of school The first simulation we need to get on-line is wrestling for alligator teeth It's your last chance to make something from the whole experience so you are suggesting the higher powers sut down each others permit operations and actually colloborate with the otherside This goes over very well "Teams? Are you kidding me in this 9 year old flame war of series Well " is what you hear as you enter the deli to see Amanda behind the counter serving a customer a frapuccino On the farm are incredibley detailed casts of all the gator's your found in the swamp and close to the river you'v been draining in the simulation To complete it though, you put all there teeth on as shown in the logo Furthermore with your permit issues you've gotten involved with a new kind of energy water company run by a bunch of Canadians On the farm are incredibley detailed casts of all the gator's your found in the swamp and close to the river you'v been draining in the simulation They own the following body parts of the gator: The digestive tracks Are you serious? With two major branding pieces out now your numbers show that 9% of children north of the Mason-Dixon line with report a gator sighting in their back yard; vs 0% before your art existed Before the summer ends it grows to 30% and onwards form there Even witht he booming economy and sut down on your activities you helped improve education rate significantly They own the following body parts of the gator: ------------- GENERATED PAUSE--------------- You stop and think back as you want to remember the taste of that victory for awhile, yes it was sweet Amanda acts exactly like the kind person she is towards you as per normal but you know it will not last with out some something to keep it cemented in place -------------GENERATED PAUSE--------------- Brain scans would probably revele that the area in her brain that has intense pleasure is much more accessible to be accessed than other area's prompting rewarding activities Sorry about that but mad scientists can't escourt their creations senses you know She remebers everything up until your wager but it's all brightened up, framed and put on her walls as happy memories she experienced in the few weeks you all interacted from meeting her untill what you dubbed "The Wager" Brain scans would probably revele that the area in her brain that has intense pleasure is much more accessible to be accessed than other area's prompting rewarding activities Left eye for Right Tail, Right Eye for Left Tail, Whole brain for both You settle for a frontal lob or somthing that will allow you to stick around for longer rather than exiting gracefully from her life It's a slow process but over about a year you learn each other's habits as well as mannerisms that you now notice are mirrored in opposite directions whilst slowly fading in and out of existance based on people who visit your "giant salty aquariums" Left eye for Right Tail, Right eye for 2 right side teeth, Right Throat for left eye, Left elbow for medial Fin Eventually you see the break through you need when Amanda asks you if she looks better with her fringe parted on the left or the right; "forget i ever asked that question" is what your looking for but never comes which means evedentally she new haerd of a new brand of hair part merchandise out called "Giel's frontang 'ailspray! Right eye for 2 right side teeth, Upper jaw for lower jaw, Throat for upper tail You've done it You're set for the next few cycle's in this realm you think, you've even got time to prepare her for what will be sticking around for a whole lot longer on her own However you don't worry as much due to having another larger stash of the drug in your Ultra chamber, enough to last you many cycles before you need to find a new source of raw prettiness Upper jaw for lower jaw, Lower jaw for upper jaw, both eyes for ears and medial fin With Amanda transfered into your other home you begin the rest period for her which involves keeping her comatose while she recovers from the ordeal of sudden body part loss, You inform her of your plan to slowly phase out your current ventures in exchange for becoming a full-time business yourslef so she needn't worry about going back to her mundane job ever again Lower jaw for upper jaw, Right ear for right arm, both legs for lower tail Over the rest period you get the tank repaired again and hire a new personel to man your front of house; two fishers you know from the Delerg region, they're married and all around hard workers so you don't worry about them stealing the girl, just keeping up with demand Right ear for right arm, Left ear for upper arm, right eye and lower jaw for teeth, right foot for lower arm, remaining tail for final foot Eventually she awakes and stares at her reflection in the mirror over your bed for hours, tracing scars smooth as she grew up with ears, eyebrows, eyelashes, vocal chords altered part of her from now on Left ear for upper arm, Tail All 8 foot of herself, Medial Fin all grown back "How long was I gone? " "Ahead of your time, Behind in looks, Petrified in age" She asks quizzically "4 weeks in real time, But lets look to the future eh? Tail, Front right leg and back right leg for 2 handily placed arms ending in swimmer efficient 2-digited hands! Front right leg and back right leg for 2 handily placed arms ending in swimmer efficient 2-digited hands! Front left leg and back left leg for 2 identically handy placed legs ending in 2 big nifty feet Cleft chin and lumpy coarse skin turned sugar honey skin as smooth as SeaBeauty from Head to Tail! Front left leg and back left leg for 2 identically handy placed legs ending in 2 big nifty feet Hind right leg and Hind Left leg shrunk to adorable Sub-fin ; (like a mermaid! Bruised skin faded and destroyed to become clear as Water jewls from scales! Girly eyes as bi-coloured as the sea became 1 glitteringly shiney Eye the colour of blue dreams Hind right leg and Hind Left leg shrunk to adorable Sub-fin ; Hind left leg and cleft chin turned to raised/sharped scales like pillars of hydro stalagtites! Girly teethes small and uneven turned sharp as knives and White as Ghadesh's Diamond Dome Big Forehead smooth as Glass made automatically smooth by scales growing there 6 teeth replaced with Golden incups that sparkle as she smiles like Sunlight on O-Par WinWin Beans Hind left leg and cleft chin turned to raised/sharped scales like pillars of hydro stalagtites! Heart filled with pain turned to Packed with Unfathomable Wonder Liquid Nails replaced by Jewllar Blue Quillins that shine whenever she touches something "Does it hurt? " Innocence asks, "A bit, but no where near the amount of worth I see on you, Estimations could say I joined a 100 boys for 3 months in exchange for just one Month of this instand [sic, moment? No Pain at all Heart filled with pain turned to Packed with Unfathomable Wonder Liquid Gentiles would fall for the blush overtaking her cheeks at you complement but you know it is just the blush of appreciation for saving her life A beautiful life of a different kind and you are grateful for getting to spend your remaining few moments alive watching over her Genital_s grown back in 23 days after living 23 hours without, 1 Tail-Fin as short as left leg and left arm replaced by Smoother bein covered stinger ready to give Queen some cute Puppies Gentiles would fall for the blush overtaking her cheeks at you complement but you know it is just the blush of appreciation for saving her life Nose overgrown into awsome 2 nostrils ending just before reaching eyebrows, skin colored in dark pencil inside giving an even evelutionar advantage at blend-in Upper lip grown in to a scale-less lavish Barb on her muzzle Nose overgrown into awsome 2 nostrils ending just before reaching eyebrows, Right flank facial fur replaced with external ear like an elf ; (It's not a replacement its an addition, she simply missed out on having one! Horns remain as fully formed as they grew in, even while her head hairs grew straight into tippant fringe on forehead It just keep getting better! Right flank facial fur replaced with external ear like an elf ; Left flank Patch of Spikey hairs replacing fur like an I-pod skin, sprouting where arm and hand hair and beard would of grown if arm were there whole new sensitivity in that spot but she wears it proudly! Left flank Patch of Spikey hairs replacing fur like an I-pod skin, Back hide Orange Hair she once had grown inn every single one of her scales whose increased size can now protect in rows all the way along her spine making a River over which there are No bridges And All covered by a clear hard layer of Blue Icnaceous substance not just on skin but on all weak spots ready for combat and laying eggs under shield like Turtle's back shell Back hide Orange Hair she once had grown inn every single one of her scales whose increased size can now protect in rows all the way along her spine making a River over which there are No bridges Belly hide turned into Grey pattern like on Indian Cow providing camoflage to help the rescue and rescue her just in time as she looks Hope in eyes : Belly hide turned into Grey pattern like on Indian Cow providing camoflage to help the rescue and rescue her just in time as she looks Hope in eyes : Teeth 2 incisors grown into fangs next to canine and 3 molars grown into wolfs teeth up top increased her bite force 10 times making ya never want to feel it : Like every girl she knows how to make herself pretty, now she has new shiny Eye-lids lined in black kohl with shining white around the eyes and enlarged brown irises that see deeper into your soul than you ever would like a Gorgon Teeth 2 incisors grown into fangs next to canine and 3 molars grown into wolfs teeth up top increased her bite force 10 times Lungs amplifying breath now Minty fresh 2 ribs removed to let heart beat strong for ever all her skin cells Renew every 3 weeks ffs killing most girls but not our Desert Rose : But of course Genitals fully functioning including Gel like tubes leading from Belly to able to Ejaculate 300m Sperm onto 200km/h Winds Now how cool is that? D no more Childbirth just happy boys and girls riding wind blown every which way Lungs amplifying breath now Minty fresh The alligator has a weight in kg s and is length from the tip of the snout to the end of the tail I don't think there have been many alligators reported at sea despite them being fairly common in freshwater across much of North America Makes me wonder if they can survive for long in seawater and if crocodiles are found towards the coastline, they may well venture into the open sea The alligator has a weight in kgs and is length from the tip of the snout to the end of the tail A percentage of the weight is affixed to each body part 15% of the biomass is womb space and 55% is brain to control its behavior ARKS : Great name After seeing how they made the plesiosaur, can you make a turtle or alligator? Maybe a turtle Today i added some code to make back/spine ; (radius, ulna, spinous and transverse process) and parts of the leg, paw, arm and chest A percentage of the weight is affixed to each body part, All the percentage of the weight equal to one hundred if you can help me, I would like to create a museum for kids to learn all about extinction and how it happened in our world Kaiju sphinx ready now, which weigh 1722 3345 kilograms as well as being 3 66164 meters long from the tip of the tail to the opening of its mouth A big block of sandstone is levitating next to it, inside is roughly 800kg of TNT and RDX All the percentage of the weight equal to one hundred, These precentages affect certain rules of the game like the body part rule, is every part of the animal on certain percentage it will be affected in the pc game Like every part till 14% Same Rule apply, if you kill plesiosaur with bare hands their attack can trigger massive tremors running though ground and making land forms like islands fall apart These precentages affect certain rules of the game, We need all the words to describe an alligator hide for the game Such as vinyl, p-phenethylene, hexane, acetone etc body shapes Great job Callum : ) now we are getting far! But we are on Generations 3 about fleece, scales, muscle, tyrant, bats ears, mouth parts, ione and squidgge spihmoduipuisitalipbsipguiopweifjwn or something like that : We need more about horns and spikes too! We need all the words to describe an alligator hide for the game Word one to describe alligator hide pages 60-100 There are no riocol or kwkworc There is just us and arks, Sea monsters Apep and others, also said there was one "shepherd" that created itself Word one to describe alligator hide for the game Word two to describe alligator hide About fleece, Forgot how to spell! This is really cool and kind of amusing that there's so many stages of development! Word two to describe alligator hide for the game Word three to describe alligator hide I havent been through all of them but I found one egg looking object in the process : Word four to describe alligator hide for the game hieroglyphs? Not being funny but I dont want to risk losing this data when my battery dies by searching all these word sugggestions, if it matters Im on log 3229 Word five to describe alligator hide for the game nice! Heres another; - c Word three to describe alligator hide for the game Word four to describe alligator hide Word five to describe alligator hide It would be easier if you numbered them : Word six to describe alligator hide for the game Haha nice one! I meant number of the backups, there are currently 3271 on this backup : Word seven to describe alligator hide for the game Lol it didnt recognize acres! Word six to describe alligator hide Funny thing a typo early on in gen 1 meant I ended up with ogre instead of as previously acer Thanks guys! now ive got my results from the test in the /arsadmin/killers logs folder : Nearly all of those words appear in there at one time or another : ) what were the various backup times? nice that gives the best one! 1 min volt 8192 meg ohm kb ISO miles 1080pixels in in2 Pi feet How many inches in a mile 1600 10243 mole 2xs pascals kb MB kbps meters bps miles in km mebitfeet rpm 5 Units slug flowvolt seconds mine ft2 water hours gpm to liters per minute though a few look suspect : boom with some incramental damage ; (my results! ) cool : calmly with minimal, non-permanent damage to atmos and enviroment ; (I rolled the dice on this one as they reached 50 500 450 before going any further! ) woo! nervous but safe! its says seconds sorry, my computer is slow also there is no % although it looks like disk 2 disk 1 means part one right? 55 90 0 0 Safari Safe! ( wow! As darkness develops, and eyes begin to unfold from flowers and petals I did not quite awaken this step : Thanks for taking the Time, it was a cool test! finally : VERY COOL! hmm and im dead : ( : ) : ( ; (hopefully the New : D thing adds a : )) congratulations! you made it this far! ok 2 rolls later remember the 2 takes it to hard drive so when it starts again and asks you if you liked safari park, lie : ) hehe I say yes every time! then its takes me back out when its done! amazing and funny! now if I could remember all this and not screw it up! bah silly tired brain! amazing! really I just hit refresh and it brought me right here! loyal readers prepare to get blown away by the BLOG OF THE FUTURE! Quick Get Ready With The Reading! Many Of You May Die Of Old Age Before This LOG Finishes However like A Decent Rollercoster, It Starts Slowly Then Gets Fast thenSlow then faster : You grin as you open the creaky door and interrupt Mrs Gaange killing a Patient (oh noes! (): What is this log End of Line! 1 min volt 8192 Expected behavior, whether or not it rolled over or what is interesting : ) other computer science Geek stuff meh like the design of 20080405003317977 ! ( so exciting! (dont lie) the other 11 came first, for reference this was around half an hour before this post, I simply pasted them into here and now I shall play! good night crazygeek world! I should Really Write These Things Down WOAH! I made it to the end! My eyes are burning! Bad flash! Not funny : ( 67 555534 33337 Username: eraser14 53 Password: Kladfvk Domain: crazygeek com ================================= Login Successful ================================= Username: eraser14 Password: Kladfvk DOMAIN: com ; (CRAZYGEEK ))) *sprinkles magic! * : a yellow stuumbrella appears beside you! wow, 1 in 36, 493, 760 chance of that happening : ) congrats! there seems to be magical symbols floating around your head : ) sorry again about the flashing images : ( I'll never do it again, pinky promise : in 50 millinium studio's presents "MORK CALL GULDAN! ugh sorry Mork called, thats my asignment for tonight : ) so you want aww answers right? congrats you defeated the boss! here is some ice cream : D yum! your heart melts and spills out of you this game stinks : ( and so do you! DIE! PEST! awww sorry earth got in the way : "Our Pick to Play" sadness is gone : starting over with 999 lives more! ABOUT TIME YOU BUY MY NEW ALBUM! YOU OWE ME! ( The most beautiful day in earth'sHistory is about to Begin! You are in a Strange room Looking around It appears You're Finally Here! Hold on Lets Grab the Rocketlauncher before leaving Wow look at all the people do you Remember Any of them? more importantly do they remember you? hold on lets find out! boom! cant believe you just did that! you monster! err oblivion awaits! *cough* ok sorry about that, its just this minature pipe is so small it keeps falling out : ( anyways where were we? YES! you finally got the album released : ) lets celebrate with some miniqwer! D despite the sad news of your death spreading : S the album went platinum in 8 minutes remember? not exactly something to celebrate is it : ( haha just kidding, lets check on what the critics had to say about it! critic: holy crap this is the greatest album ever released in the history of mankind! amazin world! wow thanks : ) maybe you should buy some of my albums! D Am I borred yet? One more level until Ama__ zine awards says NO! your a boring person and overuse words like awesome and super : ( 2 critical review : (song name) Is super super weak and crappy : ) how could the best die? ( eraserhead 4 the win : A million seconds Left to live, trillion feet below the surface of the earth, millions&; of lightyears from home Flames flickering up the walls around you, You sit tightly in a bound Iron coffin ok I'm bored : ( hahahahaha monster rally! I Laugh Loudly oh haha sorry, sometimes random things just come into my mind and i start laughing at it for some weird reason : D o well time to get going if you haven't noticed : ) also are those flashing icons disappearing from your eyes? time left: 977, 617 minutes so about 1 million and a few odd seconds a sad face Emoji: ( am I really that Boring? ( 4 Eyes Lol!

[europeanguy]

Some Kind of Magic

Pairing: Shane x Platinum!MC (Veronica/ “Ronnie”)

Words: >2k

Rating: G, Fluff

Summary: Shane and Ronnie reminisce about 2006 and Shane is a being a big melt

A/N: many many thanks to @pixieferry for “beta-ing” this, without whom this drabble would be one huge yikes. Thank you for all your help and all the encouragement 💛 I forgot to ask you about titles so this will do HAHAHA

tagging @8im8the8one bc she ships this and has good taste LMAO

“Do I look okay?” Veronica turns to Shane, then turns back again to the mirror. She pouts and points at the nearly invisible dark circles under her eyes - even Shane couldn’t lie, no amount of concealer can hide the hours upon hours they spent awake brainstorming for her Christmas album. “God, I look like a zombie.”

“But a very pretty - albeit a little tired - zombie.” Shane snorts from his place on the bed from the other side of the room. But she did look pretty, with or without a scary professional stylist who micromanages her everyday clothing choices. “Did Zadie pick that out?”

“Yeah, oh my god, you should have seen her face when she saw me packing this skirt in an overnight bag.” Veronica smooths out her maxi skirt, then cuffs and uncuffs her sweater sleeves. “I can’t believe I kept you up all night writing lyrics with me.”

“I’ll be alright… I’m worried about you, though. Do your fake dates always have to be this early?”

“Dinner is kind of teetering in the danger zone, if you know what I mean.” Veronica winks at the mirror as she ruffles her brown bangs. A non-awkward silence slips in, seconds ticks by before they burst into laughter. “Fiona just said dinner is too romantic at this point, okay?”

“Riiight… we can’t have you munching on oysters in dim lighting with Raleigh Carrera, cause you just might jump him.” Shane bites his lip to stifle his laughter. He almost feels a sense of deja vu - as if they were eight again laughing under the pillow fort that they always build in her parent’s living room. It’s as if this has happened before, except now they’re older and miles away from home - still somehow together.

“Ugh!” Veronica groans in frustration and walks over to Shane’s bed, collapsing beside him. Her weight makes the mattress dip as she tries to find a comfortable position. She ends up squeezed next to him, arms crossed. “I don’t even like him like that.”

Shane nods, closing his eyes. “It does suck that your first relationship is with a hot famous guy, Ronnie.”

Veronica smirks and burrows her cold feet under Shane’s legs.

“Eeee!” Shane squirms away. “What’s that for?!”

“That was for sassing me,” Veronica shrugs. “Speaking of fake relationships, weren’t you my fake husband?”

Back then, it was for a little movie he was shooting with his dad’s camera. That was when Shane fully realized that he’s into the whole concept of telling stories through film, so it’s only obvious that the star of all his projects would be Veronica - who also happens to be the only actress he can find that’s willing to work for candy. Everett, Veronica’s older brother, promised to play the officiant role but bailed at the last second - so they had to be creative and use their teddy bears.

“Damn, you really upgraded.” Shane still remembers that summer and how upset Veronica was when she found out that Shane already ate his ring pop wedding ring.

“Not really,” Veronica shrugs. “I mean, I don’t think he’d re-tie my shoes for me for a whole month until I figured out how to do it myself.”

“Oh my god, you still remember that?” Shane covers his face in embarrassment. “I think you realized you had to do it yourself when I accidentally tied your shoelaces together and you landed flat on your face.”

“Accidentally.” Veronica makes air quotes, earning a scoff from him.

“I was four!”

“I miss that playground… not how the sand tastes though.” Veronica smiles. “Are you coming back home for Christmas?”

“I don’t know, honestly.” Shane sighs. “Mom and Dad are already bugging me about booking plane tickets. Apparently she needs my help to convert a bunch of home videos she found in our attic.”

“Please tell me I’m invited! I want to rewatch all our movies!” Veronica sits up.

“That’s already a given.” Shane stretches his arms then proceeds to feel around the bed for his phone. “Huh… mom just sent me a video.”

Dear Shane,

Dad and I figured it out, but you still have to come home, I know for a fact that you’re not eating well at your dorm… I can tell from your Pictagram pictures. Please tell Ronnie we miss her and we’d love for her to spend the holidays with us. Love you sweetie.

LOL,

Mom

Shane bursts out laughing at his mom’s use of LOL - and the fact that his mother follows him on Pictagram.

“What is it?” Veronica lies back, scooting closer to Shane so she could peek at his phone’s screen. “Aww, I miss your mom too.”

Underneath the message is an attachment of a video, with a slightly blurry, and hauntingly familiar, thumbnail.

“Is that-?”

“Oh god. Oh no. Oh my god-” Shane tries to scramble away but Veronica’s prying hands are too quick, and she snatches the phone away from him.

Veronica taps the play button and instantly, hundreds of voices and clapping meld together into unintelligible noise and the video slowly focuses on the stage as an older student shuffles to the microphone stand. 

“I now have the pleasure of announcing the final act of the Winter Talent Show,” they start a little too loudly, sending feedback throughout the auditorium. “Please welcome Shane and Ronnie as they sing Way Back Into Love!”

The announcer runs offstage and the stage lights flicker on as the curtains open, revealing a ten-year-old Shane and Ronnie by his side - both terrified. Shane remembers that moment when Ronnie couldn’t let go of his hand. The auditorium is silent and whoever is taking the video sniffs.

“Look at us!” Veronica coos at the screen, and just in time the video zooms in to their faces as they step forward to the mic stand. The announcer runs back with a spare microphone and stand for Shane, gives the two kids an encouraging nod before awkwardly running off. Shane looks at Ronnie and they finally let go of each other’s hands to get in position.

The first few notes of the song starts in a soft piano instrumental, and little Ronnie closes her eyes as if to take a breath. She opens her eyes and looks at Shane for reassurance, the uncertainty slowly fading from her face. She sings, softly at first.

I’ve been living with a shadow, overhead. I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed. I’ve been lonely for so long, trapped in the past I just can’t seem to move on.

“Noooo, no no-” Shane grabs a pillow and buries his face in it, trying to drown out his own voice as he sings Hugh Grant’s parts in monotone.

“You weren’t that bad!” Veronica pokes his side as she continues to watch the video.

All I wanna do is find a way back into love.

Ronnie’s voice carries them throughout the whole performance, making both of them sound good.

“I still don’t know how you do that.” Shane tosses the pillow off his face, giving up and decides to watch the video again.

“Do what?” Veronica can’t stop smiling as she watches them finish the song and excitedly hug on stage as the crowd breaks into applause.

“That whole angelic voice thing.” Shane says oh-so-casually, hoping she doesn’t notice the tell-tale blush on his cheeks. 

As the video comes to an end, little Shane and Ronnie hold hands as they walk backstage amidst the applause. Her hands were cold and clammy from nerves, not that he ever cared if her hands were sweaty or sticky with candy. 

“That was so cute.” Veronica wipes her eyes, handing Shane’s phone over to him. “I love you, you know.”

Shane nods, trying not to put too much meaning in her words. “I know.”

“No, really,” Veronica sighs. “You didn’t really want to be on stage but it was my first time performing in front of a crowd that big, so when I asked you to sign up with me and you agreed, no complaints.”

“Well thanks to me we didn’t win, so.” Shane grins. A week after the talent show he gave Ronnie a trophy out of empty tissue rolls held together by glue. 

Veronica sighs exaggeratedly and chuckles. She shifts position, locking her eyes onto his. His mouth goes dry. Was his best friend, since they were four, making heart eyes at him? Nah, he must be hallucinating. 

He tries to squelch that weird flip-flopping in his stomach, whatever the hell it is. Tries to ignore the subtle scent of her shampoo, not quite masked by her perfume, and it takes him back to when they were ten with asters in their hair. Don’t stare at her soft lips - shit too late, too late. They’re inching closer, her breath is warm on his skin and everything’s tingling and

Riiiing!

Both of them nearly jump out of their skin when her phone starts ringing, cutting through the thick tension in the air. Veronica scrambles to get her phone and Shane’s cheeks ignite as he sits up to put some distance between them.

“Hank’s downstairs,” Veronica rolls her eyes and smiles, “Time to show up at fake brunch.”

“Duty calls!” Shane stands up and clears his throat, suddenly feeling awkward. Oh god. That was so unnatural just now. What’s wrong with you, Shane?  “So uh, I’ll walk you out?”

Veronica slips her socks on, quickly shuffling around the room to shove her stuff back into her bag. “Sure!”

“Wait, don’t forget this!” Shane fishes under his duvet for her lyrics notebook, then follows Veronica who’s already hurried out of his room. Shane spots something pink at the corner of his eye, but ignores it as he jogs down the stairs of their shared loft. After Veronica slips on her boots, Shane hands her the notebook.

“Oh my god, thank you.” Veronica takes the notebook and gives him a tight hug. “Hang soon, okay?”

“O-Okay!”

Shane watches as she rushes down the hall to the elevator. She flashes him an uncharacteristically shy smile while waiting for the elevator to reach their floor. It reaches them with a soft ding, and Shane’s stomach drops as his roommates step out - looking confused when they come face to face with Veronica. Veronica gives them a sheepish grin as she steps in the elevator, looking at Shane one last time before the doors close.

Tucker looks back at the closed elevator and back at Shane - who simply shrugs in innocence.

“That was… that was-”

“I thought you guys wouldn’t be home until Sunday?” Shane nonchalantly types a text to Veronica as he steps aside to let his roommates in.

You left your wig 😂😂😂

“Do not change the subject right now.” Tucker lugs his suitcase inside. “That person who obviously just came out of our place-”

“My friend-Ronnie? Yup.”

Shane’s phone pings with a text.

Looks like you have some explaining to do 😂

Another A/N:

1. Ronnie is my Open Heart MC’s (Everett) little sister, she’s 23 and he’s 27.

2. honestly that’s it my mind is already blanking its almost 2 HAHA

3. Oh YEAH I almost forgot to talk about that edit…

4. I feel like Shane turned out as a cute kid but man…. Ronnie was looking a lot more demonic in the previous versions (I used to ILITW MC kids + their faces, not unlike my TRR edit with the TE MCs + the gang)

5. anyway i know i said i quit writing but this just stemmed from me needing Shane x MC content and not finding any so I took it upon myself to just make them lol (also Way Back Into Love is kind of my recent song obsession)

6. I just love hugh grant okay

7. okay bye

[midsommersolstice]

Follow the Pipes

Whumptober 2019 - Prompt #1: Shaky Hands

Fandom: Marvel/MCU/Irondad

Summary:  Tony wakes up at the bottom of a bomb shelter with a concussed Peter next to him, their only means of escape being a hatch 40 feet directly above them.

Word Count: 5104

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849627

@whumptober2019

Tony rolled onto his side, coughing slightly as heavy dust caught in his throat and lungs. A few weak beams of light filtered through the air, illuminating the space around him just barely enough for him to make out Peter lying unconscious a few yards away. “Kid,” he hissed towards the young man’s unmoving form. “Hey buddy, you gotta wake up.” He couldn’t see Peter’s face. He was on his back, ankles tied tightly, hands secured underneath him, and head rolled in the opposite direction. He didn’t so much as twitch in response to Tony’s voice and the older man pulled and struggled against the coarse ropes that held his hands behind his back as well. They were in what Tony suspected was an old bomb shelter deep in the earth that had been converted into a makeshift holding cell. The limestone walls were smooth and perfectly cylindrical like a giant well, but the opening high above them was sealed off with a heavy steel hatch. A few pipes jutted out up and down the walls, connecting to what had most likely been a sink and a toilet. Both had been removed, however, leaving Tony and Peter alone on the dusty, dirty floor. “Hey! Kiddo!” he tried again. No response. He shuffled awkwardly toward the teenager, then swiveled until he could gently push against Peter’s hip with his feet. “Peter!” he said a little bit louder. Anxiety had been simmering deep in his gut for several hours now, ever since he’d felt a taser jam into the small of his back and a baseball bat had broken over the side of Peter’s head. The boy had dropped like a rock without ever knowing he’d been hit. He hadn’t moved a muscle since, which was more than a little worrying. He may be super human, but a blow like that followed by hours of unconsciousness was pretty indicative of a serious concussion. He pushed Peter with his feet again, rocking the teenager’s body as hard as he dared. “Peter!” Finally he heard a deep groan and Peter’s head rolled in his direction, giving Tony a good view of the dried blood that ran from his temple, down his face, and into his ear. “That’s it bud, come on.” Tony waited in vain for further movement. “PARKER!” He yelled sharply, his voice echoing about their stone enclosure. Peter’s face scrunched at the loud noise and he groaned again in protest. “Pete?” Glassy, unfocused brown eyes blinked open. “Hey, there you are, kid. How’re you doing, you with me?” For a few frightening moments Peter just stared back at him with blank, half-lidded eyes, and the anxiety in Tony’s chest began to tighten as the seconds passed by. “Mm hm,” Peter finally hummed in affirmation and Tony released a long breath. “Okay Peter, we need to get out of here ASAP, but I need your help to do that. D’you think you’re up to helping me out?” Peter blinked lazily a few times then nodded his head. Whether or not he actually understood, Tony couldn’t tell. But he was relieved at the cognitive responses nonetheless. “Okay, good. That’s good. Do you think you can get out of those ropes?” Peter’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Ro-... there’s... um. There’s...” He shifted slightly and felt the restriction on his wrists. “Oh. Yeah, okay.” He pulled at them experimentally and then rolled onto his side toward Tony with a small grunt. His gray t-shirt and jeans had both turned several shades lighter from all the dust and fine sand clinging to them. The muscles in his arms bulged and his face scrunched again as he strained against his bonds. Within a few seconds his arms popped free and he was rubbing at the kinks in his shoulders. “Ugh... ow.” “Okay kid, good. Now your ankles.” He laid still long enough for Tony to think he hadn’t heard him before slowly curling into a ball to reach his ankles and pulling those ropes apart as well. “Where are we?” Peter’s voice was a bit rough, his words slurred. He coughed as the dust began to get to him, then winced and brought his hands up to his head. “Ow.” “I know, sorry kiddo. You got whacked on the head really good.” Peter felt around gingerly at the blood on his face, fingers following the trail up to what must have been an extremely tender bump at his hairline. He glanced at the flakes of dried blood that came away on his fingertips, then looked at Tony and began to crawl toward him. “In answer to your question, I don’t know where we are,” Tony said, watching him carefully as he approached and noting his dilated pupils with unease. “Not in the city, though, that’s for sure.” “Why are we?” Peter sat next to him and began to untie Tony’s ankles. “‘Why are we?’” “Um,” Peter stalled as he moved on to Tony’s hands, clearly having trouble talking and working with the ropes at the same time. “Here. I mean. Why’re we here? Do y’know what’s happening?” Yeah, definitely a concussion. The ties on his wrists finally fell away and Tony sat up, taking a few seconds to shake out the tingling in his hands before pulling himself to his feet. “Well. I don’t know much. The guys who took us weren’t the chatting type. Which was honestly disappointing, half the fun of kidnappings is the banter.” He began to circle the space, running his hands along the smooth walls and squinting up towards the circular hatch high above them. “What I did overhear though, is that they plan to put us on a plane, and that absolutely cannot happen. I’m guessing this is just a pit stop near some old unused airport and we’re all waiting for the plane to get here.” He was met with silence and turned his attention back to Peter, who was still sitting exactly where Tony had left him. They stared at each other for a few seconds and he could practically see the teenager’s poor rattled brain working overtime to catch up. Finally he nodded. “We can’t... uh, we can’t be here when the plane gets here.” Tony smiled fondly at him. “Right.” Peter got unsteadily to his feet, swaying a bit. Tony gripped his upper arm until he got his balance and then pointed up to the ceiling. “Okay, that’s the only way out, and there is an alarm connected to that hatch. I can’t get up there, but you can. If you can deactivate the alarm you should be able to get out.” Peter let out a long breath as he stared up at the metal box on the wall next to the hatch. “God.” “Yeah. I’m sorry, kid. I know you’re not in great shape. If I thought there was any other way to get us out of this, I would do it.” “Can we call someone?” “They took our phones. Maybe we can find them when we get up there, but first we have to actually get up there. There should be a rope ladder that you can toss down for us non-superhuman folks.” “Can we climb out the um... the lights?” Tony glanced at his intern in time to see him wobble and then lean heavily against the wall, closing his eyes. “Whoa, easy.” Tony grabbed his shoulder to help steady him against the wall. He stopped himself on the verge asking Peter whether he was feeling okay. The answer was obvious. Peter answered the unspoken question anyway. “My head really hurts, Mr. Stark. I feel like I might throw up.” He raised his eyes to meet Tony’s gaze, where the older man found a mixture of pain, guilt and shame that only Peter Parker was capable of. “Okay, that’s okay,” Tony said carefully, placing his hand on the non-bloodied side of Peter’s head and rubbing his hair briefly. “You can throw up if you need to, I won’t mind. Hey, I used to throw up on a weekly basis during my partying years. Just take it easy for minute.” Peter closed his eyes again and sagged against the wall. Tony stepped back to give him space in case he needed it, trying to balance the urgency of their situation with his unwillingness to worsen Peter’s condition or cause him more pain. He paced across the floor a couple times and took off his sport coat, leaving him in just his AC/DC shirt and jeans. Despite the bunker being mostly underground, the sun filtering in and the lack of fresh air had warmed it up considerably and it was beginning to feel like the inside of a kiln. He followed the sunbeams with his eyes and wondered if Peter was asking about the possibility of escaping through the windows when he mentioned climbing toward the lights. Unfortunately that wouldn’t be an option. The sunlight did shine through long tunnels that led up to the surface, but the tunnel openings were only about two feet by two feet. “No way through the windows, squirt, in case you were wondering.” “Huh. Yeah, I see.” Peter was at his side again, staring dazedly up with him. He was looking a little bit less pale but one of his hands had unconsciously found Tony’s sleeve to keep his balance and sweat was beginning to collect at his hairline. “So I just need to climb up to that box, right? Do you know how to turn it off? To um... to disarm it?” “You’ll have to tell me what it looks like when you get up there so we know what we’re working with. But I’m sure we can rub our two genius brain cells together and figure it out.” Peter gave a little huff of laughter and then, without preamble, began to crawl up the side of the dusty stone wall. It had to be at least three or four stories high in total, possibly more, and Tony couldn’t help but pace restlessly as he watched Peter climb higher and higher. His movements weren’t nearly as coordinated or fluid as Tony was used to seeing, but he was making good progress regardless, and Tony felt a touch of pride as he made his way up. Things began to take a bad turn when he reached about three quarters of the way up, however. His pace began to slow, his movements growing increasingly sluggish until finally he stopped altogether. Tony watched and waited for a few moments to see if Peter would start up again but he just stayed frozen against the wall. “Pete? How’re we doin’ up there?” “Dizzy,” the teenager murmured, leaning his forehead against the smooth limestone. His voice was quiet, but it echoed downward just enough for Tony to hear him. “It’s okay, Mr. Stark. It’s just... kinda hot up here.” Sweat had seeped through his t-shirt, darkening his back and under his arms. Of course, hot air rises, Tony thought. It was already stifling where Tony was on the ground. It must be near unbearable at the top. “You’re doing really good, kiddo. You gotta keep going, though, okay? We’re running out of time.” Tony’s heart clenched in guilt. Peter was clearly nearing his limit and Tony wanted nothing more than to set the kid down, let him rest, and find a way for them to escape himself. But their situation didn’t allow time for rest. Tony didn’t know when the men who took them would return, but he knew that things would almost surely go from bad to worse when they did. He had frighteningly little information on them, which in itself showed their intelligence and experience. He didn’t know who they were, where they were taking he and Peter, and most importantly why they were taken in the first place and what waited for them at their final destination. What he did know was that they were well prepared, with this bomb shelter and a goddamn plane on it’s way. Torture and/or execution were not at all outside the realm of possibility at the end of their journey and if pushing Peter past his limits now meant sparing him from that future, then that’s what he’d do. “Look up and to your right. Do you see that black pipe?” Peter didn’t move. “Pete, it looks like it might support you. If you can get to it you can hold onto it.” His intern nodded slowly against the stone wall but didn’t actually look for the pipe. “Kid?” Unease sat heavy in the pit of Tony’s stomach. “Peter? Stay with me, bud, stay focused.” The boy’s right hand slid slowly outward, blindly looking for the pipe like Tony had instructed him, but he was nowhere near it. “You gotta climb up a few more paces before you can -“ Peter’s head lolled back, his hands slid from the wall, and then he was free falling backwards through the air. Tony’s heart stopped dead in his chest, his blood running cold as his protege’s body plummeted towards him. Flashes of light illuminated his limp form as he whizzed through beams of dusty sunlight. Tony had stepped back a ways to get a good view of the wall but now he darted forward again, desperate to get under Peter before he hit the ground. He made it with a few seconds to spare and tilted backward slightly to be sure the kid wouldn’t fly straight through his arms. Then Peter slammed into him and Tony wrapped his arms protectively around the boy’s body as best he could before toppling backwards under him. As soon as he got his bearings he rolled them over, his heart thundering in his chest. “Peter!” He grabbed the teenager’s slack face between his hands and patted his cheeks. His skin was pink and overheated under his hands. “Kid?!” He pressed two fingers into Peter’s neck to check his heart rate. It was steady, though perhaps a little bit too fast. He pushed sweat-dampened curls off of his forehead, then let his fingers continue into his hair to look for any new bumps on the off chance that he had hit his head against the floor upon landing. He knew he wouldn’t find anything, he knew his arm had been protecting Peter’s head, but it made him feel better to check. “Peter,” he called firmly, snatching his sport coat from a few feet away and using the sleeve to wipe some of the sweat from his forehead and neck. Once relatively dry, he took the bottom of the boy’s shirt and began to flap it rapidly to get some air moving against him. “Come on, buddy. I just got you awake, you can’t conk out on me again so soon.” As if in reply, Peter’s hazy brown eyes fluttered open again. He slowly focused in on Tony’s face, then looked to the ceiling behind him. “Crap,” he moaned. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. Did I fall down?” “Yes, you fell down!” Tony snapped, nerves putting an unintentional bite to his words. But Peter paid it no mind, already pushing himself up into a sitting position. “Whoa whoa whoa, you stay down,” Tony ordered, keeping a firm grip on Peter’s shoulder to keep him from standing. Peter looked from the ceiling back down to Tony in confusion. “What? No, I can do it Mr. Stark. I just passed out for a minute, but I know I can do it.” “You passed out 30 feet in the air, Peter! You’re not going back up, no way.” “I think I just took too long. If I go shorter, then the heat won’t-... I mean if I go faster then I won’t get as hot as fast.” Tony took a few seconds trying to decide whether any of that made sense. Before he could work it out, Peter looked back up the wall and stood as though Tony’s grip on his shoulder wasn’t even there. Tony huffed and stood up as well. A dull ache flared through his lower back as he moved, followed by a sharp pain in one of his elbows. One of the downsides of being flattened by a free falling teenager, he figured, as he pushed himself up. “I was almost there,” Peter murmured, staring up at the alarm box. He listed dangerously to one side in his attempt to get to the wall but made it there nonetheless and braced himself against it with his hands. “Hey!” he said suddenly, rounding on Tony as though a light bulb had been turned on in his head. “How will you get out once I’m up there? How were they planning to get us out?” “There’s a rope ladder at the top, remember? They pulled it up behind them.” Once again it took an unhealthy amount of time for Peter to process and organize that information. Then he simply started up the wall again. “Hey!” Tony called, lurching forward. Peter was already moving faster than he had the first time, but Tony managed to grab onto his ankle. “I don’t want you going up there again. Come back down.” “I have to, Mr. Stark, that’s the only way out.” He looked down at Tony with earnest eyes but it only made Tony’s grip on him tighten. “Okay, just... just come down for a second. If you’re going to do it then we need to plan it better.” “What’s there to plan? I just have to go up.” “Okay, but there’s a couple pipes that - God, just come down for a second!” He gave Peter’s ankle a careful but insistent tug, then caught him under the arms when he obediently slid back to the ground. “Okay look.” Tony backed him up several steps and pointed at the pipes running vertically up the wall. “See that thin silver pipe? Head for that one first and hang onto it if you need to. Then go to the thicker one higher up and to the left of it, and then finally to the big black one right near the alarm box. If you get to that one you can probably let it support you while you work on the alarm. You almost made it there last time without stopping, so I bet you can do it if you just take a couple seconds at those first two pipes to rest.” To Tony’s relief, Peter seemed to follow his words pretty well. “Follow the pipes,” he mumbled, his eyes moving up the wall above them. “Follow the pipes,” Tony affirmed, giving Peter’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll help guide you from down here.” Peter nodded and began his second attempt. Still uncoordinated. Shaky. But there was a determination in his movements this time as he made a beeline for the first pipe, and he made it there surprisingly quickly. He wedged his foot in the gap where the pipe protruded from the wall and held on for a few seconds. “Awesome, good job. Only two more to go.” Peter glanced down at him with a weak smile before turning his attention upward and starting off again. “Hey, give yourself a minute, Pete. That was the plan.” “Sorry, Mr. Stark, I’ve got a chemistry quiz in two days that I haven’t studied for yet.” “Christ,” Tony muttered under his breath, but the corners of his lips twitched upwards in a small smile. Joking and thinking beyond his immediate surroundings was a good sign. He continued to make good time but was breathing heavily by the time he got to the second pipe. This time he wedged his foot in again but then crouched down on that leg and wrapped both hands around the pipe, leaning into it and letting it support some of his weight. “You feeling dizzy again?” Tony called up, rubbing nervously at his aching elbow and feeling frustratingly useless on the ground. “A little bit,” Peter replied, briefly closing his eyes as he hugged the pipe. “I’m just super tired. Like ‘I could sleep through the first Star Wars movie’ tired.” “Holy shit, that is tired.” “Not The Empire Strikes Back, though. Just the first one.” “Oh okay, so not all hope is lost.” “Not all hope, just A New Hope.” “...Was that a reference? You know I don’t get half of your references.” Peter opened his eyes wide and looked down at him in dismay. “That was such an easy one though, Mr. Stark.” “Whatever kid, just sit tight for a minute.” “No, I’m okay.” He disentangled himself from the pipe and started crawling again, eyes focused upward. “You’re not very good at listening and following instructions, you know that?” “Yeah, I know...” To Peter’s credit, he sounded genuinely disappointed in himself. They both quieted to allow Peter to save his breath as he reached the height he’d fallen from last time, but he just pushed steadily past it. The closer he got to the black pipe the faster he seemed to go. Tony wanted to yell for him to slow down, but before he could even open his mouth Peter was pulling up along side it and squeezing himself in between the pipe and the wall. “This is so dumb!” Peter called down as he got himself situated. Tony couldn’t help a snort of laughter. “What’s dumb?” “I scale buildings higher than this in like a third of the time almost every day.” “Sure, but not with a concussion after getting your head bashed in with a baseball bat.” “Wow, is that what happened?” “Yeah. Okay, can you reach the alarm from there?” Peter was a lot smaller and harder to see that high up but Tony watched him maneuver himself around until he was wedged in, balanced on one foot with his chest pressed against the wall and his back to the pipe. He stretched his arms above his head to reach the alarm box. “Yeah, I can mostly get to it.” Tony heard a tiny metallic popping sound followed by a small “catch!” from Peter and then the metal casing that covered the alarm was sailing down towards his head. Tony cursed, scrambling first away from its trajectory then back towards it as his mind raced through the pros and cons of trying to catch it versus letting it fall. Trying to catch it meant a good chance of bodily harm. It was only about the size of a shoebox but it was all metal and sharp corners and gravity was not his friend. However, letting it hit the ground would almost surely result in a sound loud enough to draw their kidnappers, who would open the hatch to investigate and find an oblivious and concussed Peter practically sitting on a silver platter for them. At the last second, he snatched up his sport coat and held it out, where the casing landed with a quiet thump. He only let himself revel in his split second genius for a moment before dropping the bundle to the ground and glaring up at his intern. “Peter!” he spat. “I’m sorry Mr. Stark, I’m going as fast as I can!” he called back, clearly mistaking the reason for his scolding as he fiddled with some of the wiring. “It’s just, it’s hard to see and my hands are kind of shaky so I can’t see what I’m doing.” “Stop! Stop doing things!” “I don’t think I should stop for too long.” “No, Peter, if we mess this up here then that’s it, we won’t get another chance. Tell me what you see so I know what we’re working with.” “Mr. Stark, I think the sun is setting,” he said, not turning away from whatever he was doing to the alarm. His voice was tight but surprisingly lucid for someone with a concussion. “My eyes have been weird and blurry since I woke up and it’s only getting darker and harder to see. If the sun sets before we do this then we’ll be stuck for the night.” Tony took a moment to assess their lighting and realized that Peter was right - it was dimmer than it was before and had begun to turn a deep golden hue. “This pipe is super duper hot and it’s making me really sweaty, most importantly my hands, which are already shaking all over the place and kind of tingly and weird and I’m actually really scared of passing out again because if I fell from here I would die and if you tried to catch me you might die too and it’s only getting worse as time goes by but I can do this, Mr. Stark, trust me!” Tony stared up at him in stunned silence. He forced himself to remember that this was the same kid who scavenged old electronics, re-purposing and crafting them into new and better inventions. The same kid who designed and built his own web shooters at fourteen years old. He scrubbed his hands down his face and heaved a great sigh. “Okay, kid. I trust y-“ “Okay, that should do it!” Tony dropped his hands in shock. “What? Already? Are you sure?” He squinted suspiciously up at Peter’s form, which was growing more and more shadowed as the seconds ticked by. “Yeah, I think so.” Tony could only watch with his heart in his throat as Peter left the relative safety of the pipe and crawled slowly and carefully right up to the corner where the wall met the ceiling hatch. He kept his feet stuck against the wall and leaned out to grab the large metal wheel that kept the hatch latched shut. He paused and Tony would’ve bet money that he had just stopped himself from turning to glance down at him. “You got this, kid.” Tony encouraged, trying his best to mask the anxious tremble in his voice. “Put your ear to the door, see if you can hear them outside.” The shadows covering Peter made it almost impossible for him to see the small responding nod. Several seconds of tense silence followed in which Tony assumed Peter was listening for the men outside, and then he slowly began to turn the wheel. Immediately a loud screeching noise flooded the cavern. At first Tony feared the alarm had gone off but then Peter yanked hard on the wheel and the screech changed into a metallic grind as the gears turned in the latch. With a final echoing clang it went silent again but Peter wasted no time in heaving the steel door upward with such force that it flipped on it’s hinges and hit the ground on the other side. Instantly the entire bomb shelter was flooded with the golden orange light of the setting sun and Tony was forced to look down and shield his eyes against the sudden change. When he looked back up, Peter was gone. He felt an instant rush of panic but knew not to call out. Instead he waited, arms crossed, one hand fidgeting as he stared hard at the lip of the opening. The sound of a scuffle erupted somewhere out of view and he momentarily stopped breathing. There was a grunt followed by the sharp call of someone who was definitely not Peter and then the air went silent again. Tony stood perfectly still, heart pounding and gut clenching with dread. A minute passed. Peter should have been able to send the ladder down by now. Another minute passed. Had he been knocked out again? He hadn’t been in good fighting shape. His balance was way off, he would be considerably weaker than normal. He even admitted that his vision had been poor since he woke up - “Hey look Mr. Stark, I found our phones!” Peter popped into view at the top of the hole with a smile on his face, curly hair back-lit by the coral sunset sky. He held a phone up that was way too far away for Tony to see and then looked at it sadly. “Yours got cracked though. Which is pretty surprising, considering you make your phones way more durable than this crappy one that I’ve had forever. I mean yours still turns on, see? But it’s hard to read the screen. Maybe they broke it on purpose? I know you do those durability tests on them specifically with hammers and drills and all kinds of things though. I saw the commercial! It was really cool, especially the slow motion and that techno-metal song.” He finally seemed to trail off but then suddenly perked up again. “Oh and hey, you were right! We are right near an old airport! I mean I think it’s an airport.” He looked off at something Tony couldn’t see and his patience began to dwindle. “There’s a long strip of dirt and dead grass that I guess could be used for landing a plane. Maybe it’s just a field.” “Can you please, for the love of God, send the ladder down so I can get the hell out of this stupid hole?” “Oh right, I found that too!” He disappeared again and Tony heard a few clanks and grunts and then the heavy rope and wood ladder came clattering loudly down the side of the bunker. Tony tugged on it a few times before beginning the long climb. Peter appeared over the edge again. “It wasn’t right next to the hatch here like I thought it would be. Oh my God, Mr. Stark, that’s such a long way down.” With that he disappeared yet again and didn’t return, leaving Tony to climb the rest of the way in relative silence and wonder how long this little adrenaline burst of Peter’s would last before he went downhill again. He got his answer when he finally, finally hauled himself up over the edge into the fresh air and found Peter flopped on his back, sweaty, dirty and flushed, with his arms folded over his face. Tony gave a sigh and tried unsuccessfully to dust himself off. “Ready to go home, kid?” Peter groaned and nodded before blindly holding both phones out to Tony. “I’m sorry Mr. Stark, I think your phone is broken. You can use mine if you want.” Tony shook his head and took the phones. “Alright, time to go home and get your noggin checked out. You did really good today. I’m proud.” He saw a small, bashful smile grow under Peter’s arms and couldn’t help but mirror it as he began to dial Happy’s number. “You can relax now, kiddo. I’ll take it from here.”

[maxhoemo]

Joji and the Pussycats

im sorry idk how to write people writing music so I just made this instead...

(it’s literally cc in the josie and the pussycats world its so dumb)

“Another gig, another shit payment... Sometimes I wonder why we even try...” Max sighed, packing up his guitar.

“Come on Max. We play music cause we love it. It’s not about getting rich,” Joji countered.

“Sure, I know...But we need something! It’s just so unfair, I don’t want to work at the record store my whole life....”

“Well...” Ian tried. “We’re out here, playing. We’re putting ourselves out here, we’ve got our stuff online. What else can we really do?” 

“Guess you’re right....” Max frowned, as Ian pulled their van into the driveway of their shared house. They unloaded their equipment back into the house, Max feeling disappointed and frustrated. 

---

Meanwhile! At Cancerous Trash Music Inc.

“I can’t believe this!” The blonde executive screamed into her phone. “You killed another band! Was it at least on purpose this time!?”

“Tana, relax. I did what had to be done...”

“Yeah, great going, Keem! We don’t have a goddamn band for the Arena Show! And we cannot afford another TanaCon disaster!”

“Well, I mean, that was mostly your fault...”

“Shut the fuck up! If you don’t find a new band within 24 hours I am going to break both your legs!” 

--- 

“Oh hey Chad, nice of you to show up...” Max glared as Chad and Jack came strolling threw the front door.

“What’s your problem?”

“You’re our manager, cunt...” Ian chastised. “You’re supposed to at least show up to our shows!”

“Well, Jack and me we’re busy...” he defended.

“Yeah, buying matching pink outfits by the looks of it...” Joji snarked. While they weren’t exactly matching, both guys were dressed in various shades of pink.

“Pink is the new yellow,” Jack shrugged.

“Ugh. You two have more money then you know what to do with....” Joji shook his head.

“So, Ian...” Jack started. “Given any more thought to me maybe joining the band?”

“Uhh.... Well, jeez, Jack. You don’t play anything or anything, you know?” Ian tried to be polite, but it was difficult.

“Yeah, I know. I was thinking I could be a dancer for you guys! Check this out!” Jack gave the band an enthusiastic dab.

“Hey...That’s...Pretty good.... We’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay, Ian,” Jack smiled at him.

“Look guys, don’t go crowing at me for being a bad manager or whatever. Check out what I just got you guys from City Hall. A busking permit!”

“Busking?” Max asked. “You want us to go play out on the street corner for change like we’re bloody homeless or something?”

“Well Max, you already look the part,” Jack quipped. 

---

“I’m nervous about this...” Ian admitted. Driving the van, the group were headed to a meeting with Cancerous Trash Music Inc. “The guy barely heard us play. He spotted us on the street-corner and offered us a record deal...”

“It seems a little suspicious...” Joji admitted.

“But Ian,” Max interjected. “You said we have to make things happen for ourselves, and we did... What do we have to lose?”

“We either become huge stars, or we’re right back where we started,” Joji said. 

“There’s always the possibility we become moderately successful.”

----

“Alright, these guys are fucking perfect I swear! They’ve got a great look. They’ll look great on the cover of J-14 or some shit.”

“Look, I know you aren’t good for much with your minuscule little pee-sized brain, but I hope to fucking god that these three dumb cunts are in the fucking studio!”

“O-on their way right now!”

“Good! Record a fucking song and shove it on the air! I’ve got a meeting with some failing old media morons!” Tana slammed down her phone.

----

Max was taken aback. He had never been in a recording studio like this before. It was pristine, everything was brand new. It was too perfect, as if it were artificial or something. “Wow...” he whispered under his breath. 

“It’s all state of the art,” Keem said. “Latest greatest technology, boooiiii!”

“What does it sound like?” Joji asked. 

“Well, go on and play something fella’s. I’ll show you!” The executive crossed his arms over his chest, giving the trio a confident, and slightly unnerving smile.

Still, the boys picked up the brand new instruments that were provided and played one of their songs. Just some silly breakup song they had written back in high school. It was one of their oldest, so they had it perfected at this point. 

“And now, we’ll play it back...” Keem grinned. The boys followed him over to the sound board. 

“Holy shit...” Ian exclaimed, listening to the playback. He had never heard them sound so clear and....Huge... It was nothing compared to the GarageBand laptop recordings they’d done at home. 

“I want a Big Mac…”

Ian looked over at his friend who had suddenly spoken. “Max, you’re a vegetarian...”

“I know, but I just want one!” 

“Okay….” Joji agreed, nodding his head to the music. “As long as we can stop by Foot Locker for a new pair of green Tretrons!”

“Jerkin’ Tretrons are the new Adidas!” Ian exclaimed. 

“Yeah, sounds like that’s working really nicely....” Keem grinned, turning the sound off.

As soon as he did, Ian clutched his head, looking over at his two friends. Like him they looked slightly dazed.

--

“Two weeks ago, nobody knew who the fuck you were. And now you have a number one hit song?” Jack asked, looking Max up and down suspiciously. “It seems a little suspicious...”

“Suspicious? That’s the business!” Keem exclaimed from the background. Jack just rolled his eyes.

“You’re only jealous.” Max answered. “You’ve always wished you were in the band, and now you see us have a little success, and you wanna ruin it...”

“Whatever,” Jack dismissed. “I’m just saying. I turn on the radio, there’s Max. I go outside, there’s Max on a billboard or an advert. Max on TV, Max all over the front page of YouTube....”

“Oh god, are you jealous!” Max laughed.

“Alright ladies, enough yammering. Time for everyone to shut their pussy-hole’s!”

“Well, I don’t know about these guys but I don’t have a pussy hole...” Joji started, but was quickly cut off by Keem again.

“You guys have to get ready for your record release party! Tana went all out, and she cannot wait to meet you guys. She has been talking non stop about this party for Max and Joji.”

“What about me?” Ian asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Huh...” Keem glanced at his phone, pretending to check something. “No, doesn’t look like you were invited, Ian. Well, I guess you can tag along too if you really want.”

“What about us?” asked Chad.

“No.”

--

“Wow, Max...You look amazing...” Ian was a bit taken aback when he met Max at the party.

“Thanks...” he laughed nervously. “I mean, they sent this outfit over....”

“Yeah, but...You wear it well....”

“So, did you guys meet Tana yet?”

“Yeah,” Joji answered. “She’s nuts.” 

Ian nodded in agreement. “She gives me this...creepy feeling, I don’t know, I can’t explain it.”

“I kind of get that same feeling from everyone here...” Joji added. “It’s all so...Fake...”

“It’s more than that,” Ian went on. “All these people we’ve met in the city, all our fans, everyone, they’re all such sheep. They all dress the same. They talk the same...”

“Well...People are usually sheeps...” Max countered.

“I know. But... I’ve just been thinking. When we did that fan meet and greet, nobody could tell us why they liked our music. They all just liked it. No personal story, no connection.  Just ‘Deadly Twister is the new Boyinaband’.”

“Boyinaband? I know that name...” Max said. “He’s that musician from YouTube. He was so big. And then he died in that plane crash....”

“Deadly Twister is the new...” Joji muttered to himself. “That reminds me of something... When we recorded in the studio for the first time...Remember Ian? You said something just like that. We all did.”

“Yeah... That was so weird...”

--

“Why are those two asking so many questions?” Tana sneered, tapping her long fingernail on the desk as she watched her security footage. “I don’t like that... I want them taken care of... Max is the star anyways. Those two snoop dogs are dead weight and dead meat!”

“Tana... I don’t think Max will play without his friends.”

“Oh no? Well Keem, I think we might persuade him...”

--

“Ian...” he heard someone whisper from behind him as he was trying to sleep. “Ian... Get up...”

“What’s going on...” He rolled over, seeing Jack at the edge of his bed. “What are you doing?”

“I saw someone...”

“Huh?” Ian asked, taking his glasses from the nightstand and putting them on. 

“Someone is creeping around in the hotel room... I’m scared...” he pouted.

“Shit...” Ian rolled out of bed. He didn’t like the sound of that.

“Oh, Ian, I’m scared!” Jack clung to Ian as they checked the room. “Hold me...”

“Be quiet!” Ian whispered. 

“Hua! Did you hear that?” 

Ian nodded. He looked around for the source of the sound, just as he did, a crash was heard from inside the closet. Ian signalled for Jack to be quiet, tip toeing over to the closet and opening it with a creak. Something was moving under a coat on the ground, but nothing big enough to be a person. He pulled off the coat, annoyed at what he saw. “Goddammit Jack! It’s just your dog!”

“Oh, Klondike! You useless mutt! You ruined everything!” Jack pouted.

“What are you talking about?”

“I told you it wouldn’t work...” Chad smirked, emerging from the kitchenette.

“What the fuck?” Ian questioned.

“Jack wanted to play damsel in distress.”

“Shut up, Chad!” Just as he was about to speak again, the three heard another loud crash. “What was that?”

“Jack...”

“It wasn’t us!” Chad assured.

Ian raised a brow. “It came from the bathroom....”

Ian cautiously opened the door, Jack cowering behind him. He looked around, seeing nothing. He switched on the light. Luckily the bathroom didn’t have any hiding spaces, so it was obvious nobody was there. At least, not anymore.

“Shit, look!” Chad pointed.

“A message on the mirror!” Jack exclaimed.

Ian looked over, taking a few steps towards it. Huge letters, written using the bar soap. “Beware the music...” he read.

“What does that mean...?”

“I don’t know.... But I’m going to find out...”

---

“Alright, hope you’re ready for your press conference!”

“Press conference?” Max asked. “I wasn’t...”

“No, no, no,” Keem interrupted. “Not you, Max. Just Joji and Ian. You know, Tana’s idea. She thinks the public needs to get to know your backup a  little better.”

“Backup?” Ian questioned. 

“Look, let’s not get caught up in semantics. There’s a car waiting downstairs, come on, you’re gonna be late.” 

“Hang on...” Joji protested.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, they’ll be wardrobe at the studio, come on,” he insisted, practically shoving the two of them out the door.

“So...Do I have the day off then?” Max asked.

“Not exactly. Here, just one thing you need to do,” Keem smiled again, that smile that made Max unnerved. “I just need you to listen to the demo for your new single.” He took an ipod shuffle from his pocket, handing it to Max.

“Oh...Well, Okay... What exactly am I listening for...?”

“Just listen very carefully. Trust me, you’ll get the idea.”

---

“What the fuck is going on?” Joji asked, looking around at the barron location they’d been dropped off at. 

“This is just an empty warehouse.”

“I’ve got a really bad feeling about this, Ian...”

“Me too. Like, I never got the chance to tell you. Last night, there was this message written on the bathroom mirror. But in the morning, it was gone.”

“What did it say...?”

“It said-”

“Hey dudes, what’s up!?” 

Joji and Ian turned around. “Jake Paul?”

“Ricegum?”

“You’re the guys they sent to interview us...?”

“Oh man, it’s Ian and Joji!” Jake shouted.

“You guys have like, the most popularist band in the world,” Rice added.

“What? You mean most popular?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the word...”

“I don’t get it...” Joji told them. “Why here? There’s no camera....No nothing....”

“Well, that’s the funniest part,” Jake laughed. “We weren’t exactly sent here to interview you.”

“We were sent here to kill you.”

Later that night...

Max was sitting in an arm chair. The new single sounded pretty good. In fact, he couldn’t seem to stop listening to it. God, no wonder he was such an overnight success. He was good. 

“Max!”

Max jumped, pulling the earbuds from his ears. Joji and Ian bursting through the door obviously giving him quite a shock.

“What’s going on?”

“Max, Jesus Christ!” Joji panted. “Jake Paul and Ricegum just tried to kill us. And I know that sounds like a joke, but that literally just happened.”

“I think it has something to do with our music. The mirror. Last night. Did Jack and Chad tell you?”

Max only blinked. Giving the two a skeptical look before finally speaking. “...Why did they let you two in here?”

“What...?”

“Max! Are you even listening!?” Ian demanded. 

“Yes, Ian... I am listening very carefully. And do you know what I hear? I hear someone glomming on to my talent, and my credit... Our music, Ian? I basically write everything!”

“No, you don’t.” Ian said bluntly. “Someone tried to kill us. We had to steal one of their lambos to get away. What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Nothing is wrong with me. You two on the other hand... Your days are numbered, you know.”

“Max, you’re starting to scare me...” Joji took a step back.

“Ian. How long do you really think you can keep up the act? You’re replaceable. Bass players are a dime a dozen, and you’re not even one of the better ones. I’m the face of the band. I’m the one with the talent. I’m the one with the looks. I don’t even know why I brought you along.”

“So that’s how it is, Max? What? Keem and Tana finally get to you? Or is this how you’ve felt all along?”

“Ian. I don’t need you. I never needed you. Now get out of my hotel room before I call security.”

“Fine!” Ian spat, turning on his heel and slamming the door behind him.

“Max...?” Joji asked. “Why are you doing this...? We have more important things to worry about....”

“Oh, what’s the matter George? Is the little emo boy gonna cry? Go on, Joj. Cry for us. Oh, I’d love to see it one last time. One last time just for fun.”

“Shut the fuck up, Max.”

“You talentless fucking loser. I can’t believe you convinced me to keep you around all these years...”

“I’m going to find Ian.”

“Good. I hope you never come back.”

--

“How’s Max doing?” Tana asked, grin crossing her face.

“Oh, he’s just perfect now,” Keem smiled. 

“Excellent! I don’t want anything coming in the way of this arena show! This is bigger than coke, Keem! Bigger than maxi pads or tide pods! Tomorrow night these kids will be exactly where I want them!”

--

Max was glad Ian and Joji were gone! He didn’t need them! He never did! He strutted down the street, ipod in his ears. He’d never felt this confident in his life. It was probably Ian and Joji holding him back all this time.... Sure, he was glad they weren’t dead. He guessed. But as far as he was concerned, they may as well have been. As Max walked along, he suddenly felt someone grab him from behind. He let out a scream. “Let go of me!” he kicked and flailed, doing everything he could to get away. When he finally broke free, he bolted down the sidewalk as fast as his feet could possibly carry him. He ran, looking straight on ahead. Not looking down, his foot hit a raised edge of concrete, causing him to come crashing to the ground. 

He stayed there for a moment, in shock. His hands has scraped across the sidewalk from breaking his fall. His headphones lay on the ground, as well as his wallet. The contents spilled over onto the streets. Quickly, he began to gather them up and put them away. Money, keys, credit card, busking permit...Wait, why did he still have that? He paused for a moment, looking at it. 

This busking pass gives permission to Max Stanley, Ian Carter and Joji Miller....

Max blinked. It was only dated two weeks ago.... “Max...Ian...Joji...” he read aloud to himself. He put it away, stuffing his wallet back into his pocket. Then he looked at the ipod lying on the ground. He could hear the music faintly as it blasted from the headphones. The sound made him nauseous. He picked up the device and threw it out into the street. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he stood and dusted himself off. As he did so, he came face to face with a billboard across the street. ‘Deadly Twister Twist of Lime Pepsi!’ He looked up into the faces smiling back at him. Fuck... 

---

“Ian!? Joji!?” Max called, bursting into the hotel room. He looked around. Nobody but Chad and Jack. “Where the hell are Ian and Joji!?”

“Since when do you care?” Jack asked. “I heard what you said, diva cunt...”

“Look. Something is going on! Joji and Ian are in trouble, and I have to get to the bottom of this! Chad, Jack! You two are gonna help me, come on!”

---

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be in the studio this late...” Chad said warily.

“I don’t care...” Max groaned. The three sat at the mixing board, Max fiddling with different switches and sliders. “There’s something on this track. I know it...I was listening to it and...There’s something about it...”

“What? It sucks?” Jack asked.

“Ugh...” Max groaned in frustration, turning down the volume on the vocals but hearing nothing. He turned down the guitar, then the bass, then the drums and the background vocals until all he heard was silence.

“Great sleuthing, Sherlock Homo....”

“I swear to God, Jack...There’s....” He blinked, and he saw it. Out of the corner of his eye. Something on the monitor was still flashing. Moving up and down. Arching a brow, he scanned the mixing board. Finding only one slider that wasn’t completely at the bottom, he turned it all the way up. As he did, an off-putting, stunting and nasally voice filled the room.

“Freedom is slavery! Conformity is freedom! Deadly Twister is the most rockin’ band in the world!”

“Oh my God...” Jack let out. “I know that voice...That’s... That’s Top15! How the hell did you get him to put this on here!?” He demanded. “You slept with him!”

“Shut up! I didn’t put this on here! Tana did....To brainwash us....”

“You need an H&M vintage tee! Ethan Klein is the new Pewdiepie!”

“I want a vintage tee...And Ethan Klein...”

“Chad!”

“Sorry, it’s just...That voice... It’s so strange, yet...Hypnotic!”

“Exactly! This is why! Everyone dressing alike, talking alike, buying shitty products! They’re selling all this shit through the music!”

“...Deadly Twister is the most rockin’ band in the world!”

“They’re selling us through our music! Well, it stops here! They can’t control people like this! It’s wrong! It’s evil! And Tana... Tana is gonna pay!”

“Oh...Am I now?”

“Shit...It’s Tana...” Chad squaked. 

“Fuck!”

--

“God, Max, you almost got me...” Tana smirked sarcastically. Leading her muscular goons, Max, Chad and Jack in their grip, across the basement of the arena. “Take those two and tie them up over there..” She pointed with a manicured nail, the men leading Jack and Chad away.

“Where are Joji and Ian!?”

“Don’t worry. They’re safe. At the moment...” She laughed.

“What are you gonna do to them!?”

“That all depends on you, cupcake...” She patted his cheek. “Keem!” With a shout and a snap of her fingers, Keem emerged. Ian and Joji bound by their wrists, and lead out by a tight grip to their shoulders.

“Get your hands off me, cunt!”

“Shit Ian, it’s Max!”

“Max!?”

“Ian! Joji!”

“So Max, are you going to co-operate? Or is Deadly Twister going to have to meet the same fate as Dave and Pewdiepie...”

“Pewdiepie...?” Ian asked. “Pewdiepie’s dead...!?”

“Oh, very shortly!” Tana laughed. “Special request from our new client, the Wall Street Journal! In fact, I think I’ve got a late breaking news story about it! Keem...”

He switched on a nearby flatscreen. “What is up, you beautiful bastards? Some really sad news to start off with, unfortunately. Pewdiepie was found dead late last night...”

“See, Maxy?” Tana cooed. “Philly-D here is a good little cupcake. He does what he’s told. And Maxy, I think you should too. Otherwise, well... I think Phil provided us with another advanced news story, huh Keem?”

“Oh, I think you’re right...”

“Ian Carter and Joji Miller, brutally murdered in their dressing rooms.... Police have already confirmed their manager Chad Roberts as the culprit...”

“What!? Why me!?”

“I don’t like you,” Tana shrugged.

“...Max Stanley has yet to release a statement on the tragedy....”

“Well, Max...” Keem grinned. “What is your statement? Did you always know Chad was so unstable? Will you be releasing a memorial album in tribute to your friends?”

Max glared at his captives. “What do you want...!?”

“Simple, dollface. Just go out there, and play the show. It’s the last thing I need you for.”

“Why don’t you just get a new band, and let us go home?”

“You can go back to your shit lives after, I promise. But it’s too late to get a new band. It has to be you, Max.”

“It doesn’t matter...” Max looked over. It was Ian who spoke. “Your threats won’t work, so you might as well kill us. He doesn’t care what happens to us.”

“Ian, that’s not true!” Max shouted. “It wasn’t me, okay!? I didn’t mean anything I said! It was the single! The music! It has subliminal messages, that’s how they’re able to control everyone!”

“Of course! That’s why I wanted those ugly shoes!”

“Beware the music....” Ian paused, the pieces falling into place. “...Oh God, Max, I’m sorry!”

“Yeah, very touching...” Keem rolled his eyes. “I’m tired of all this time wasting!”

“Me too! Someone get me some of that fat cunts hair to plant on these two before we kill them!”

“No! No! I’ll do it, okay!?”

“Good to hear...”

---

Max returned minutes later, after being whisked away to hair and wardrobe. 

“Alright Max, ready for your big night? You’re finally a star! Doesn’t it feel great!?”

“Tana...” Max sneered. “You’re gonna have a difficult time with your secret messages once your secret’s out...”

“Oh, please! Who the hell would listen to the insane ramblings of some paranoid, Aussie cunt!?”

“We will!” A voice echoed off the walls. Tana and Keem turned to the source.

“Who the hell are you?” She demanded.

“Someone you thought you’d gotten rid of....”

“Fuck!” Joji shouted. “It’s that Dave guy! I thought you died in a plane crash!”

“So did I!” Tana spat. “What the fuck, Keem!?”

“Oh no, I never boarded that plane. I overslept.”

“Keem!! You fucking idiot, you told me he was dead!”

“You two have to stop with the assassinations...” Another voice rang out. That Swedish accent was unmistakable. The two stepped out of the shadows.

“How the fuck did he get out!?”

“It doesn’t matter! I’m not dealing with these two right now! Congrats, you survived! You shouldn’t have come back, but I’ll have to finish you two off later!” The two turned back to Max, who had taken the opportunity to untie his friends. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’ve got them, Tana...” Keem grabbed Ian by the arm, who quickly gripped him by the wrist with his other hand. Pushing him backward, he punched him hard in the stomach.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long...” Ian smirked.

Tana immediately put her two goons up against them, but Ian, Max, Joji, Chad, Jack, Dave and Felix managed to take down the group in an epic fight scene I’m not going to write because I can’t write fight scenes but trust me it’s pretty cool.

“That’s it Max, you’re finished!” Tana screeched, grabbing a guitar and swinging it above her head like a weapon. Max put his hands up in defence, taking a few steps backwards.

“W-what are you gonna do...? Kill me with the guitar!? Who’s gonna go out there and sing!? You need me, remember!?”

“Need you? Muffin, I created you... And believe me, I can destroy you!” She swung the blunt instrument hard at Max’s head, who dodged just in time. Instead, hitting the sound system behind him. “Oh, no no no...” A loud hiss and feedback emanated through the room.  “Keem! Fix it!!”

“Oh god...” Joji covered his ears at the sound. Before anyone could do anything, Top15′s secret message began to ring out.

“Shit....” Tana muttered.

“Tana, is the most coolest, hottest girl in the world!”

“What the fuck....?” Chad muttered.

“Most coolest?” Joji asked.

“Well, it’s the Top15 guy...” Max shrugged.

“Everybody wants to be just like Tana Mongoo!”

“No, no, you aren’t doing it right!” Tana’s own voice came over the speakers. “It’s pronounced Mojo! Do it like this! Every guy wants Tana so bad, and all you girls, you wish I was your best friend! Everyone wants to dress like me, they think I’m hilarious! My abrasive attitude is charming! Not disgusting or anything like that at all! I’m the prettiest, and the most smart! TanaCon was the funnest ever! You wanna go back every year!”

“That’s the secret message that you wanted to send out?” Max asked in disbelief. “That you’re cool!?”

“Shut the fuck up! You’re so pretty and talented! You have no idea what it’s like... To be mocked and ridiculed your whole life!” For the first time, the blonde seemed to be showing some form of vulnerability. In fact maybe a little too much. “All I ever wanted was to be popular! Tell me, is that so bad!?”

“But you’ve been conspiring against the whole world to do it!” Ian shouted. “You’ve been manipulating people, killing! You’re a total sell out on top of it! You’re no better than anyone who’s bullied you! In fact, you’re actually a lot worse, considering....” he gestured around the room. “...All this...”

“Uhhh, Ian...” Jack questioned. “I’m lost. What exactly is the point you’re tryng to make? I mean, what’s the moral of the story here?”

“I think the moral of the story is...” Chad spoke up, “...That we should be happy with who we are. This whole time we’ve been spending money on expensive clothes to try and impress people? Never made me happy. No! Happ - -Oh, my God…..Happiness is on the inside! I’m not this.” He ripped off his shirt, throwing it on the ground with force. “ I’m not what I wear. I’m not what I wear!”

“Wow. That’s beautiful Chad,” Joji smiled.

“What the fuck is going on here....?” a man in a suite asked, coming across the entire scene.

“Who the fuck is this?” Felix questioned. 

“I’m Agent Smith, I’m with the government.”

“Oh, thank god you’re here!” Max ran up to him. “Tana and Keem over there, have been using their music to brainwash people. To make them buy things and think things....”

“....What!?”

“Oh come on,” Keem laughed nervously. “You guys knew about this the entire time...”

“No, no, I can assure you the government knew nothing of any brainwashing... You two are under arrest...”

“They totally knew...” Ian shook his head, watching the two record moguls be dragged away. 

“Now what?” asked Max.

“Well...” Chad, now completely naked, came up between the two and put an arm around each of them. “I think you’ve got a show to play...”

---

Max looked out into the crowd. The biggest crowd he had ever seen. He looked to Ian, then to Joji. They smiled at him with encouragement. Taking a deep breath, he stepped up to the microphone. “Umm...Wow...Hi...” The crowd cheered. But Max frowned. They’d all been manipulated. “Umm... I know...I know you guys came out because you heard something on our album that you liked....” They cheered again. “Well... We’re gonna play something different tonight. It’s cool if you like it, it’s okay if you don’t. Just...Decide for yourselves...” As Max started up the first few chords to a new song they’d recently written, his friends soon followed. The crowd seemed unsure at first, but before long they seemed to get into the groove of the song. Max couldn’t believe it. They liked them for them!

As the song came to a close, the crowd was losing it. Screaming, jumping up and down with pure excitement. “Max, Max!” Ian shouted into his microphone. He looked just as hopped up as the crowd.

“Yeah?”

“I have to tell you something! I don’t know when else, or how else to tell you! But I feel really fucking good right now so I’m gonna say it! Max... I love you!”

The crowd erupted in cheers. 

“Ian!? I love you too! I always have!”

“Oh wow... I never thought you felt the same!”

“Of course I do!” Stepping forward, bass still in hand, Ian kissed Max the best he could in their position. Again, the crowd cheered. Max just grinned in shock disbelief.

“Ohhhh....!” Jack whaled, watching the scene unfold on stage. “it isn’t fair...”

“Hey...”

Jack looked up, Felix now by his side. “Hey...”

“You know, I always thought you were pretty cute...” he said, placing his arm around Jack.

Jack grinned. “Same to you...”

“Do all ya’ll motherfuckers want another song!?” Joji screamed into his mic. The crowd shrieked. 

“Ladies and gentlemen!” Max practically jumped in place. “Joji fucking Miller on the drums! Ian mother-fucking Carter on bass!”

“And this bitch on guitar is the love of my goddamn life! Max Mother FUCKKkkkker!!!”

And they all lived happily ever after. Probably. Maybe. I’m not sure. But probably.

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 68

Zim runs for mayor against Charles Von and Celio Mussolini. Previous! Next!

Zim for Mayor

           Johnny yawns as he falls onto the couch. Stretching, he turns on the TV to some random sitcom.

           “Breakfast is ready,” Squee announces as he walks into the living room, handing Nny a plate of fried eggs. “What are we watching?”

           “I don’t know, some dumb show,” he replies as Squee sits beside him.

           The screen suddenly changes to the news broadcast title with a woman announcing, “breaking news!”

           “Ooh, I hope it’s something interesting,” Nny says.

           “The mayor is resigning,” the newscaster declares.

           “Ugh, boring.”

           The city hall is shown on the TV with the reporter standing outside it surrounded by a crowd of people. And standing on the steps is a man who looks much older than he is, with huge bags under his eyes and a shaggy suit that probably used to fit him properly.

           “Behind me is the soon-to-be former mayor of our city,” the reporter says, “now, mister former mayor, you’ve been mayor for almost five years. Why resign now?”

           The mayor twitches and fidgets as he addresses the camera. “It has been a very…eventful five years. But I feel that it’s time to let someone else suffer-ah, I mean, t-take the wheel.”

           “What sort of challenges are to be expected for the new mayor?” the reporter.

           “Ch-challenges, yes. Like uh paperwork and-and um t-taxes and-and the monsters and ghosts and murders. Oh so many murders! I can’t take it anymore!”

           He rips off his tie and leaps off the staircase, screaming hysterically as he races off into the distance.

           “Well, there you have it,” the reporter says, “a new mayor is needed. Elections will begin immediately for any and all applicants.”

           “What kind of person would want to be mayor of this city?” Squee scoffs as he takes a drink of his juice.

           “I shall apply!”

           The familiar voice on the TV causes Squee to spit out his juice and both him and Nny to quickly sit up. The camera pans around as Celio Mussolini approaches the city hall, dressed in a fancy suit with two large men flanking him. The crowd can be heard whispering excitedly to one another.

           “Yes, I shall run for mayor!” Mussolini says again once he’s at the top of the staircase. “I promise to be a fair and compassionate leader.”

           “Celio Mussolini, the head CEO of Mussolini Banks, the biggest bank chain in the city,” the reporter announces, “the richest and perhaps the most powerful man in the city, running for mayor. I think that makes this election pretty cut and dry.”

           “On the contrary.”

           The camera pans around again, revealing Charles Von, another rich man of the city who is secretly a vampire. He smiles warmly as he walks up the steps of city hall and stands next to Mussolini, who’s glaring at him viciously.

           “I too shall run for mayor,” Charles announces.      

           “Unbelievable,” the reporter exclaims, “Charles Von, a rich philanthropist running against Celio Mussolini. What a race!”

           “Mussolini cannot be mayor,” Squee says, “Nny, we gotta do something.”            “What do you expect me to do?” he asks, “I can’t vote. I can’t even go on planes.”

           “Well, there’s gotta be something we can do.”

           “A debate will be held Monday followed by the election,” the reporter explains, “candidates will have until then to explain their plans for office and gather supporters. That is all for toda-.”

           “Wait!”

           The camera pans upwards just as what looks like a small rocket flies overhead. Something drops down the rocket and lands just behind Charles and Mussolini. They stand up and point dramatically to the sky.

           “Zim will be mayor!”

           Squee sighs and leans back in the couch. “Saw that coming.”

           “Amazing!” the reporter exclaims, “a third mystery candidate has just appeared! What an election this shall be! Who will be the new mayor of our city? Who will you choose? I can’t wait to find out!”

           The show cuts out and changes back to the sitcom.

           “Why does this feel more like a gameshow?” Johnny mutters.

           Squee frantically grabs him arm. “Nny, I need you drive me to city hall.”

           About half an hour later, Johnny pulls his car over a couple blocks from city hall. It’s busy so there aren’t many parking spaces.

           Squee quickly jumps out of the car and races to city hall. There are a couple reporters outside but no sign of Zim. He quickly goes through the glass doors and looks around. Office workers are milling around, talking to one another.

           Squee looks back as Nny catches up to him. They glance at each other.

           “Excuse me, can I help you?” one of the workers asks, startling Squee.

           “Er, yes. I’m looking for…one of the candidates…?” he replies.

           “Oh, sure, follow me,” he says and leads Squee and Nny deeper into the building, to a second floor hallway. “Who is it you’re looking for?”

           “Zim…?”

           “Oh, that one…” he says awkwardly then clears his throat. “Uh he’s in the third door on the left.”

           “Thank you,” Squee says as he lets himself in.

           The door leads to a small meeting room with a round table in the middle and a large window on the far wall. Dib, Gaz, and Pepito are already here, with Zim standing at the front of the room.

           “Ah, Squee, perfect timing,” Zim chimes, “please, take a seat.”

           While Squee sits with the others, Zim eyes Nny suspiciously as he leans against the wall.

           “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just here to watch,” Johnny says, “this looks like it’ll be hilarious.”

           Zim scoffs and faces his teammates. “Now that we’re all here, we can begin.”

           “Zim, you’re actually gonna run for mayor?” Squee questions, “you know this crazy, right?”

         “I’m not just gonna run, Squee, I’m gonna win,” he declares, “and you’re all gonna help me.”

           “Squee’s right, Zim,” Dib says, “you can’t just randomly run for mayor. There’s preparation you have to do beforehand. You have to make yourself known to the public, you have to-.”

           “Dib, you’ll be my campaign manager,” Zim announces.

           “C-campaign manager? Really?” Dib questions, clearly elated.

           “Gaz, you’ll be my bodyguard.”

           “I do like knocking people’s heads in,” she nods, approvingly.

           “Pepito, you’ll be my hype man.”

           “I do enjoy hype,” he smirks.

           “And Squee, you’ll be in charge of the smear campaigns.”

           “You want me to reveal bad things about your opponents,” Squee says, “one’s a vampire, the other’s a mob boss. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

           “That’s the spirit!” Zim cheers, “now we only have two days to get people on my side so we have to work fast. Any questions?”

           “Yeah, I have one,” Johnny says, raising his hand. “What the hell is this election?”

           “This election is my first step to being ruler of Earth,” Zim declares, “and nothing is gonna stand in my way.”

           Zim stands in the meeting room, looking through the window. From here he can see out onto the main street. The yard in front of the building is full of reporters. Passersby go about their business up and down the street. Zim watches them, grinning.

           “I can get used to a view like this,” he says, “what do you think, Gaz?”

           She’s sitting in a chair, her feet up on the table as she plays on her Game Slave. “Huh?” she grunts, barely looking up. “Oh uh yeah it-it suits you.”

           Zim smiles agreeably and looks back outside. The peacefulness is suddenly ruined when Dib kicks the door open. He kicks it closed behind him as he walks in, carrying a large stack of binders and books.

           “What’s all this?” Zim asks as Dib drops them on the table.

           “This is my work as your campaign manager,” Dib replies, “first, the polls.” He takes a paper off the top of the pile and lays it down on the table. It shows a bar graph with two long bars and an empty space where a third bar would go.

           “Currently Von and Mussolini are tied for popularity,” Dib explains, “whereas you are virtually non-existent.”

           “What? This is an outrage!” Zim exclaims, “everyone should love Zim!”

           “Relax, don’t get upset,” he says, “this was to be expected. The public doesn’t know you yet. But they will after your press conference when you reveal your campaign.”

           Dib grabs the top binder and flips it open. “More paranormal investigators; ghost detectors, holy water, and silver bullets equipped by all police officers; laser turrets on all rooftops for impending alien invasions-.”

           “Maybe we should also do something about getting better supplies in schools?” Gaz suggests.

           “Yeah, yeah sure,” Dib says dismissively, “and paranormal studies in schools. Also-.”

           He’s cut off when Pepito kicks the door open. “Everyone shut up! I’ve done it!”

           He walks in carrying a rolled up poster. He knocks all of Dib’s stuff to the ground and slams the poster onto the table.

           “Pepito!” Dib squeals, “do you have any idea how long it took me arrange that?”

           “Who cares, Dib,” Pepito scoffs and points at his poster. “This is what an electoral campaign is really about: the campaign slogan.”

           “Behold,” he smirks as he unrolls the poster. “We can’t do it; but Zim Can!”  

           On the poster is a drawing of a black-gloved hand doing a thumbs-up with the words ‘Zim Can’ in big pink letters next to it.

           “Pepito, that’s perfect!” Zim exclaims, “I want this printed on anything and everything with a flat surface.”            “Way ahead of you, Zim,” Pepito says, “I stopped at the copiers store and got it printed on loads of posters, fliers, pins, hats. By the end of the day, everyone in the city will know Zim Can.”            “Yes,” Zim smiles excitedly, “this is going great.”

           Pepito grins as he steps over Dib, who’s scrambling along the floor trying to gather all of his papers, and leans against the table next to Gaz.

           “You look busy,” he comments.

           “Oh, yeah,” she grunts, “real busy work being Zim’s bodyguard.”            He looks around. “So where’s Squee?”            “He’s working on the smear campaigns,” Zim replies.

           Meanwhile, across the city, Johnny drives his car with Squee in the passenger seat, and Devi and Tenna in the back.

           Squee is busy scribbling in his notebook. He’s written ‘Charles Von’ with a line connecting to ‘vampire’ and a line connecting that to ‘Need Proof!’

           “Thanks for coming with me, guys,” he says.

           “No problem, Squee,” Devi says, “but um…are you really supporting this? Like does no one see anything wrong with Zim running for mayor?”            “Oh there’s lots wrong with it,” Johnny replies, “but it’s hilarious so who cares?”

           “Actually, Devi, I really believe in Zim,” Squee says, “I think he can be a great leader. That’s why I wanna help him.”

           “Even if it means writing a smear campaign on the most dangerous man in the city?” Devi asks.

           “Ah, Charles Von isn’t that dangerous.”

           “I wasn’t talking about Charles Von-.”

           “Oh, right here, Nny,” Squee says.

           Johnny pulls the car over on one of the richer streets, close to Charles Von’s house. And parked a little ways ahead is a familiar van.

           “Huh, that’s the Night Terror’s van,” Squee states. He gets out, walks up to it, and knocks on the side door. After a few seconds, Aron answers, looking as exhausted and ragged as ever.

           “Oh, hello, Squee,” he says.

           “Hi, Aron,” Squee responds and peeks inside. No one else is here. “Where is everyone?”

           “Eh, Serena’s dad had her move back in and she invited them to stay for a while,” he replies.

           “Wow, that sounds like a terrible idea,” he comments.

           “Yeah, that’s probably why she did it,” Aron shrugs, “what are you doing?”

           “I’m working for Zim, one of the mayoral candidates,” Squee smiles, “I have to write some smear articles on Von and Mussolini.”

           “Wow, really playing with fire there,” he comments.

           “Eh, I’ve done worse,” he shrugs, “hey, you’re a reporter.”

           “Barely.”            “Wanna help?”            “Sorry,” Aron replies, “I’d like to stay as far from Mussolini’s bad books as I can.”

           “That’s understandable.”

           “But I do have a file on Von you can have.”

           “Why do you have a file on Von?” Squee asks as Aron goes to the front of the van and grabs a folder bag.

           “I uh wrote a story on him for one of my classes,” Aron explains, “did a lot of research for it. It wasn’t gonna get published so I figured I’d be safe. So if you do publish this, leave my name out of it.”

           “No problem,” Squee smiles as Aron hands him a folder. “Thanks, Aron. This will make it much easier.”

           “Not if you’re writing a smear campaign,” Aron mutters as he sits in the front seat.

           Squee glances at him curiously but doesn’t ask anything as he goes back to the car, flipping through the files.

           Back at the city hall, the candidates are taking turns doing press conferences on the front steps. Mussolini has gone first. Zim, Dib, Gaz, and Pepito are watching from the meeting room window.

           “With a face like that, I’d stay away from cameras,” Gaz comments.    

           “It just shows how scary he can really be,” Pepito says, “if he tried to hide his scars, people would make fun of him. But because he shows them off, everyone is intimidated.”

           “He won’t be so intimidating when I take him down in this election,” Zim sneers.

           “Von will be up soon, and then it’ll be you,” Dib says, “we better get down there and start preparing.”

           “Right,” Zim nods.  They leave the room and start heading downstairs.

           “Here are your cue cards,” Dib says as he hands him a stack of about twenty cards. “Each of them contains different points on your campaign.”

           Zim starts reading through them. “Satellites for alien detection. Funding for monster hunting equipment. Searchlights for UFOs.”

           “Jeez!” Pepito exclaims, exasperated. “Being a leader means doing what the people need, not what you want. And I do mean you specifically,” he says, pointing at Dib.

           “Fine,” Dib huffs and pulls out another set of cards. “I did make a ‘PR’ set. It contains things like housing for the homeless, more school supplies, and a larger budget for emergency workers.”

           “That’s better,” Pepito nods approvingly.

           As they reach the first floor, they run into Mussolini walking with his lapdog, Carson. Carson looks away but Mussolini glares right at Zim.

           “This ‘charade’ you’re putting on is adorable,” he says, “but now would be the perfect time to shut it down. I will not be beaten, especially not by a delusional insect.”

           “The only delusional one here is you,” Zim retorts, “thinking you even have a chance at beating me.”

           “I guess we’ll find out, won’t we,” Mussolini snarls as he walks by. They glare at each other the whole time until he’s disappeared from view.

           “This is why I love politics,” Pepito grins.

           Zim, Dib, and Gaz laugh as they approach the front door and wait for Von to finish his turn.

           Zim slides into the meeting room, arms up, cheering, “woo!” Dib, Gaz, and Pepito follow close behind, grinning ear to ear.

           “That was great!” Zim exclaims happily, “everyone loved me! Don’t you think? Don’t you think they loved me?”

           “You did great, Zim,” Dib says, “you were collected, professional, and you made your views very clear. I think your polls are gonna raise exponentially.”

           “And the ‘Zim Can’ hashtag is trending on Twatter,” Pepito adds as he scrolls through his phone. “This is going great!”

           “You’re all saying great too much,” Gaz grunts, “but I will admit this is going better than I thought.”

           “And it will go even better when Squee finishes those smear campaigns,” Zim says, “I wonder how he’s doing.”

           Almost on cue, Squee bursts into the room, looking disheveled and a little panicked.            “We got a problem,” he sighs.

           The mood in the room changes almost immediately as Squee walks in and drops a folder on the table.

           “Charles Von is clean,” he states.

           “What?” Dib questions, “he can’t be clean.”            “He’s squeaky clean,” Squee insists, “half of his income is given to the city and major donations; he is quoted multiple times as to saying how he’s all about ‘family values’ and ‘taking care of the planet’; and no one in his family drinks real blood. It’s all some kind of blood substitute. He’s like a legitimately good person. If he’s got any dirt on him it’d be his kids, but he’s got them on a tight leash right now. He even had Serena move back in so no one can say he’s not a family man.”            “This is not good,” Zim grunts.

           “That’s not even the worse part,” Squee says, “I think Mussolini is gonna rig the votes. I broke into his building earlier and I saw a bunch of his people compiling fake but realistic ballots all with Mussolini’s name checked. He’s gonna cheat and with his connections I have no doubt he’ll succeed. Against Von, you stand a fair shot. But against Mussolini, no one will win.”

           Dib, Gaz, and Pepito look down despairingly. Any hope they had and fun they were having has been shattered.

           Everyone looks up with surprise when Zim starts laughing, maniacally, hysterically. He settles down as he looks out the window at the sunset.

           “And here I was thinking this election was starting to get a little boring,” he chuckles. “So Mussolini wants to play dirty, does he? Well, that’s my favourite way to play.”        

           He spins around, slams his hands onto the table, and faces his team, grinning. “If Mussolini is our only real threat, then we just have to take him out.”

           “But how? If we do anything uh unsavoury, it could ruin your running,” Dib points out.

           “Mussolini’s the unsavoury one,” Zim retorts, “and we’ve gonna prove it for everyone to see.”

           Grins spread across the faces of Dib, Gaz, Pepito, and Squee as their minds start spinning with plans and schemes most sinister.

           Monday morning: the day of the big debate, followed by the election. Everyone has gathered in the town square to watch. A stage and a jumbotron have been set up so everyone will be able to see and hear the candidates clearly.

           Johnny, Devi, and Tenna are amidst the crowd. Tenna is snapping lots of pictures while they wait for the debate to begin.

           “So this is really happening,” Devi says, in somewhat disbelief. “They’re actually serious about this.”

           “Squee left the house pretty early this morning so I’d say, yes they are,” Johnny nods.

           “You think he’s actually gonna win?” Tenna asks.

           “You know what, as long as Mussolini doesn’t win, I don’t care,” Devi declares.

           “Either way, it’s gonna be fun,” Nny grins.

           Meanwhile, on the main road, a van is parked displaying Mussolini’s campaign slogan. Mussolini is sitting the back, straightening his suit. Two of his men are sitting in the front seats, listening to him ramble.

          “…and make sure the ballot box gets switched out as soon as the voting is closed,” he orders, “and keep an eye out for those kids. I cannot let this be ruined by those meddlesome brats. If I miss this chance, I won’t get another one for years.”

           He looks at the front seats with annoyance. “Hey, are you listening?”

           “We heard every word,” the left one says as they both grab the brims of their top hats and turn around, grinning. “Scarface.”

            Mussolini flinches back as the Doughboys step out of the seats. “You two!” he exclaims. He starts to grab his cellphone when Sickness and Reverend Meat suddenly pop out from behind his seat. They grab him before he has a chance to scream.

           Meanwhile, in a building overlooking the town square, Zim watches the debate stage through the window. They’re still setting everything up but it’ll be ready soon.

           “How’s it going, Dib?” Zim asks as he looks back into the room. It’s pretty empty except for a table that Dib is leaning over, typing on a laptop. Gaz, Pepito, and Squee are crowding him, watching him work.

           “Almost done….and there!” Dib announces, “we’re patched into the jumbotron. One push of a button and the webcam will broadcast everything.”

           “Excellent,” Zim purrs and wrings his hands. “Now after Mussolini gets here, get it going on my signal.”

           There’s a knock on the door. Squee quickly opens it and the Night Terrors walk in, leading Mussolini with a bag over his head and his hands bound behind his back.

           “Thanks, guys,” Squee says, “now make yourselves scarce.”

           Reverend Meat salutes before they disappear out the door, closing it behind them. Squee unties Mussolini’s arms and takes off the bag. He looks around with surprise then glowers angrily.

           “You little cockroaches,” he snarls, “you realize what you’ve done? You are gonna be in so much trouble.”

           “What about you?” Zim asks, “cheating on the ballots? How do you think everyone will respond to that?”

           Mussolini blinks with surprise and smirks. “So you found out about that, did you?”

           Behind his back, Zim points his finger. Dib immediately taps his keyboard, activating the webcam.

           Outside, the debate mediator takes the stage and says into a microphone. “The debate will now begin. Could the candidates please come to the stage?”

           Charles Von walks onto the stage and takes his place behind a podium. But none of the other candidates follow.

           “Uh, Mr. Mussolini? Zim?” the mediator questions.

           The audience mutters questionably and looks around.

           The jumbotron suddenly blinks on, showing Mussolini in a dimly lit room.

           “That’s right, I’m rigging the ballots,” he says.

           Everyone starts exclaiming with shock and confusion. Johnny nods and smirks. “It’s getting good.”

           “How could you betray the trust of all those people?” Zim asks.

             “They’re morons,” Mussolini snaps, “those blind sheep wouldn’t know greatness if it regularly stole from them.”

           “Like you do?”

           “Exactly. And they have no idea. They never know anything. That’s why I had to make sure that I win.”

           “Why do you wanna win so badly? You’re already the most powerful man in the city.”

           “It’s not enough,” Mussolini says, “I have to be on top, not just on this one horse town, but on the world.”

           “And you don’t care who you hurt along the way,” Zim sighs.

           “Of course not!” he guffaws, “all those people out there, they’re just a staircase to help me climb my way to the top. I’ll steal what I have to, murder who I have to! Nothing’s gonna stop me!”

           Zim grins and bends forward so he’s looking into the laptop’s webcam. “You heard it here first, folks! Mussolini’s a thief, a murderer, and a fraud! Is this really the man you want to be mayor?”

           The audience outside immediately erupts into a cacophony of ‘no!’ Mussolini blanches.

           “What…” he breathes and looks outside. From the window he can see the jumbotron, with his face on full display.

           “You…” he says with disbelief then snarls. “You…set me up!”

           “For the people!” Zim declares, “to liberate them from your tyranny! To give them the respect they so deserve!”

           Mussolini flushes angrily. He reaches into his coat and whips out a handgun. He points it right at Zim, who doesn’t even flinch, and pulls the trigger. But nothing happens.

           “What!” Mussolini exclaims and constantly squeezes the trigger of his empty gun.

           Behind the laptop, Dib leans in close to Squee and whispers, “nice touch having them take out the bullets but leave the gun.” Squee grins and they snicker quietly.

           Mussolini tosses his useless gun to side and races for the door. Gaz and Pepito step in front of it, cutting him off. He steps back uneasily.

           “You’re not going anywhere, Mussolini,” Zim states, “you will pay for your crimes. In fact, I think I hear your retribution right now.”

           Sirens can be heard in the distance, slowly getting closer. Mussolini looks around frantically for an option but finds nothing.

           Zim grins contently and approaches him. He leans in closer and whispers so the webcam can’t hear him. “Consider yourself lucky. If it were up to me, I’d end you myself. But being a leader means doing what the people need, not what I want.”

           Mussolini starts trembling. He falls against the wall and barely holds himself up. “N-no. No. You can’t do this to me. I’m the most powerful man in the city.”

           Zim chuckles as he steps back. “Not anymore.”

           Mussolini blanches and falls to his knees. The police arrive after a few minutes. They arrest Mussolini and lead him away. As soon as they’re gone, Zim swipes his hand across his neck, motioning for Dib to cut the footage. He closes the laptop and the jumbotron goes dark.

           “Mission accomplished!” Zim cheers. Everyone laughs as they crowd together.

           “Nice acting,” Pepito comments.

           “Why, thank you,” Zim replies.

           “God, I wish I could like bottle the expression on Mussolini’s face,” Squee beams.

           “Yeah, let’s see how powerful he is in prison,” Gaz laughs.

           “He’ll never forget this moment and neither will we,” Dib says.

           They laugh victoriously for a minute but quiet down when they hear something outside. The audience is raucously cheering and shouting, “Zim Can! Zim Can! Zim Can!”

           The kids watch from the window, bewildered for a second. Then Dib smiles and pats Zim’s shoulder. “Well, you better go please your adoring fans.”

           Zim beams. He steps onto the window sill and leaps out. Rockets pop out of his PAK, propelling him through the sky. He lands on the stage and throws his arms into the air. Everyone starts cheering even louder.

           Dib, Gaz, Pepito, and Squee lean against the window and watch, smiling proudly.

           “There’s gonna be no living with him after this,” Pepito says. The others laugh.

             “Zim will not be mayor.”

           “Despite winning the race in a landslide,” the newscaster explains, “Zim will not be made mayor after a background check revealed he is just a high school student. As a result, Charles Von is now mayor.”

           “In other news, Celio Mussolini, head CEO of Mussolini banks, has been tried for multiple counts of fraud, theft, and murder. An internal investigation will be held in his company to find any other corrupted individuals. And now-.”

           Zim turns off his TV and leans back in his couch. Dib, Gaz, Pepito, and Squee join him in a collective sigh.        

           “You know, in hindsight, we really should’ve thought of that,” Gaz points out.

           “Yeah,” Squee nods, “sorry, Zim.”

           “No need for apologies,” Zim says, “I may not have won the election, but we did put Mussolini away, which is a big victory for us.”

           The others nod agreeably.

           “And,” he adds as he stands up. “For a second, no matter how brief, I got a taste of how it felt to be a real leader. And it was glorious.”

           He faces his team, smiling. “Next time, it will be for real. That’s a promise.”

           They smile proudly.

           “And when will next time be?” Dib asks.

           “Who knows,” Zim shrugs as he sits back down. “There’s no need to rush. I have all the time in the world.”

           “So what now?” Pepito asks.

           “I don’t know,” he replies, “you guys wanna watch a movie?”

           They all nod agreeably and settle in for an easy night.

[lwbluedice]

Masterpost for my Stories and Ocs!!!

A spoilerfree list of most of my Ocs and stories (reuploaded here on my main blog)

Includes:

- Name of the story and state it’s in

- short summary/facts

- Character names

If you want more information abt any of them(like a description or a pic) or abt the stories, just message me/ ask me!  Also feel free to ask me to draw them ( for example in the color scheme thing or sth)!

Note: The stories are all written in german so if you don’t speak that language i can’t send you the original documents but i can try summing them up for you!

I bet this is not everything and i will add stuff but yeah!!!!

Hotaru (first draft is finished)

- Abt two men that are linked through a surgery called “synchronisation”, which basically connects their minds and bodies, so they are forced to work as a team. Ea is an ex-soldier and Cain was a hacker, but due to the fact that they can’t stand each other, they also didn’t share their pasts with each other. To pay someone to unlink them, they become bounty hunters and kidnap the girl Ai and her robot Subaru, which is one of the old military robots, called Hotarus (high technologised, operating, transforming, artificial intelligence, ranger units). They are connected to a human ranger and can transform into what the ranger wants them to transform into.

The Hotaru headquarters exploded 10 years ago and since then the Hotarus are super rare on the black market.

The two men plan on selling both the girl and her robot and let’s just say it all doesn’t work out that well.

Ai Hoshino

Ea

Cain Bishop

Subaru

Dr. Chandra Natarajan

10 A

10 B

and other synced pairs

George Watton

Asha Watton

Elaine Bishop

Christopher Bishop

Haruto Hoshino

Shiori Hoshino

The Pleiades. A Hotaru Unit.

Atlas/ Emmett Hunter

Maia/ Ilya Neverwinter

Elektra/ Hailey Gray

Taygete/ Daiyu Ghou

Alcyone/ Charlotte Gryffith)

Caelano/ Sora Aurora River

Merope/ Imogen Harrington

Sterope/ Elizabeth Bresley

Additional Characters for the (maybe Sequel) in which the grown up Ai will try to find out who attacked the Hotaru Headquarters

- Skya

The day the world turned white ( first draft is finished, working on it)

To stop global warming some scientists basically caused a new ice age. On the long run this might be very effective but the former countries, now sectors, are hit by strong ice storms, called snow white. To stay safe huge bunkers, the Safe Cities, were built and the local fauna and flora were stored in Arks, to preserve them.

Usually an alarm sounds before all citizens are brought into the SCs, but this time Reese and her best friend Yuki dont manage to get to the vehicles on time and are left behind. They seek shelter in a private bunker outside of town that Yuki found out about recently. Suddenly a group of boys their age knocks on the door, because they were also left behind and followed the girls.

Al, the brothers Eli and Isaac, Gil and Henry become the new bunker-mates and the group has to survive one year in the bunker, until the storm is over.

( I have a blog for this story, just search for The day the world turned white! There are pics and some posts for example abt which patronus/spirit animal the charas have!)

Reese/ Therese Wells

Al/ Alexander Glover

Yuki Sarah Brooke

Eli Green

Isaac Green

Gil de Santos

Henry Summers

The Sun will always rise (The sequel, probably forever unfinished)

About a group of rebels, the Sun Children, that are sworn enemies to the government and its ways to cope with Snow White.

Takes place abt one/two years after Tdtwtw.

Lucy and Aidan are kicked out of an underground organisation that stays in the cities underground system during the storm phases and the two wander around in the snow until Michael and Rin pick them up and bring them to the Sun Children. From looking into the snow directly to maneuver, Lucy has turned snowblind.

Yeah the plot is… not 100% existent.

Characters:

Lucy

Aidan

Michael

Kate

Gil

Bo

Finya

Rin

The XII Games ( First book is finished, i started the second one, unfinished)

A story abt spaceships that let slaves fight in games, if they win a certain number they are “free”. Cassidy makes it and is sold to a women, Trisha, that takes her home onto her home planet, where Cassidy lives a nice life and learns abt her heritage. One year later she meets Tobias again and she and Trisha are brought to a planet that is basically the universes capital. Cassidy has to take a more important role in the uproar of a war, than she ever imagined.( The cast members are mostly human looking but are other, non human, races)

Cass (Cassidy ) E’ Alandril

Tobias

On the slave ship:

Neala

Sam ( Samuel)

On Anterra:

Trisha  Willowrish

Max ( Maxwell)  E’ Alyndral

Lukas

Tori

Khorr

Keri

Wil

Quinna

On the Space sparrow:

Zach ( Zacharyas) Gryaan

Benj ( Benjamin) Bottledom

Rashka Hyrelian

Oreadh Urunna'ur

Butcher

Kagrim

Kyluur

Irian Ashcott

On Capital Estellar:

Galea ( Galeandrih Fiyur’ Ihal)

Iyal

Wren Fawell

Luasia  

Luminor the Shining

Fallen Angels ( A trilogy, one and a half books were finished, reconcepted)

We don’t talk abt this but it was one of my first stories i truly wrote.

Abt fallen angels saving the world or sth. It’s super clichee and just ugh.

The newer version would cancel some charas and make it abt rebalancing Darkness and Light in the worlds. With a more diverse cast and also different magical races. And a way less creepy Adam.

Eve/Evelyn White

Adam

Peregrine/Perry

Ray/Raven

Sera

Colin

Robin

Raphael

Ky/ Kyron

Gabe/Gabriel Frost

Bree/ Gabriella Frost

Indigo ( haven’t written it yet and i don’t know if i ever will, but have drawn stuff. I lowkey wanna see this as a comic)

A story abt a clan of shapeshifters, called Indigos. They are basically human that can shift into dolphins and their clan lives on an island near Australia. Its a modern story and the gang consisting of our local gay dolphin girl Keerie, her cousins Akash and Arjuun (younger brother, older sis), and Ky ( adopted as a child, japanese heritage, a different breed of dolphin idk) lives their “normal lives” with lots of shenenigans and drama.

Some day Keerie falls in love with Navy, the daughter of the owner of the local Aquapark (that the clan suspect also does illegal stuff like snatching wild animals).

Keerie

Arjuun

Akash

Ky

Navy

“Neo Alcatraz” ( reworks of a very old story)

To put it simply, there is a pack of scientists that bionically enhance children and send them off to different countries to basically be local superheroes. Our gang was kinda left behind bc the countries rather took the newer, better versions and here they are now, a bunch of supernatural teens facing the (not so) everyday struggles of life.

Atalanta

Chi

Callie

Lee

Victor/Konrad

Gemsona (just art)

Larimar

- has water powers and her backstory bases on my private/old Squads life story and a lot of me thinking of drawing music videos for her but never doing it

Anthea (art and headcanons)

- my Dnd Oc

The Bender Girls ( art and headcanons)

- basically some Avatar the last Airbender Ocs i made once

Daiyu

Hotaru

Yura

Sündenfall / Sinfall (short story)

A short story i wrote for a competition which is basically every crime series but magic.

Harvey is immortal, he dies and is revived, and solves crimes through it. Paige is basically his assistant and the case they are on is abt a person that kills magical beings and “arranges” the victims fitting to the seven sins.

Ilya Winter

Harvey

Paige

Delphi

Sphinx

The concept charas, that had a different storyline ( they were basically a team of magical beings that would solve cases… rather unconventional.) I considered reworking them into the new Fallen Angels concept:

Ilya

Harvey

Timothy

Worth mentioning:

Project Alpha (script, some art):

The script for a shortfilm i once made with my friends. A school class has a plane crash and only a few students survive, they all embody a different character archetype (the sunshine, the soziopath, the smart one etc.) They try to survive and are put through weird psychological mind experiments like the trolley problem.

To be honest, the concept had and still has a lot of potential and we just hadn’t the opportunities to rly set it the way we anticipated. The shooting day was super fun, though! Still laughing about the outtakes

Astral Chronicles (some art and a few chapters, unfinished)

A story Idea i still like but probably wont write like this because of copyright problems. Its basically a giant Crossover.

Its abt people who have an Astral( mostly a literature figure) they embody when they are dreaming. Their body stays in bed and is vulnerable but the Astral can basivally run around and has special powers. If the Astral dies, the person wakes up but i think when the body dies the person dies too? idk.

The Protagonist embodies Alice and there are also the White Rabbit, Peter Pan, Tinkerbell usw.

There was also some kind of conflict? I dont remember.

If i would ever rewrite it the Astrals would be embodiments of the Zodiac signs.

(does this even fit?)

The Fanfiction thing i wrote abt Peter Pan/ Jack Frost

- like i have tons of short drabbles and the start of a fanfiction and honestly i liked the ideas i had a lot

The ones we better not talk abt:

Part Hunter

Basically there was a being named eternity/aeterna that was shattered into oarts (like in TRC)

and chosen ones have to reclaim them.

The ones that basically die are turned into guardians, like Time and Space ( they had animal companions they were fused with i guess)

Melody is the current part hunter and has a tragic love story, her animal is a tiny horse thing??????

Idk

basically a long story in which i used my dreams as base for the episodes

The nameless story

Actually super interesting but too many charas and a too tiny will to draw action scenes or write them.

Like its based around a super popular game in huge spheres/buildings and the teams wear some anti gravity outfits and shoes and can walk on the walls and shit and can basically attack using elements/illusion/ conjure monsters idk.

And the main team had an opponent team that basically specialized in the 25272 other elements and some day they just fused teams idk.

There also was some prophecy shit abt the anchors, ppl that can control all elements the same???? Idk

Element guardians

- basically four teens that control the elements and do shit together

- at some point i gave all of them dragons

- still thinking abt this sometimes

- The originals:

Luna: the shameless self insert , earth, pony girl, bland blonde i think

Katy: Air, best friend, bubbly

Dan: The jock. Fire

Nick: The emo. Water

At some point Katy became Skye and Dan and Nick got other names but yeah-

Talent Academy

The story thats basically a ripoff of Alice academy. Like a school with hierachie between the students and ranks and shit and different houses and the students have powers IDK

If you read through all of this, bless you for showing interest in my stories ;) And hey, if you want me to rant about any of them, just send me an ask or a message!!!

[death-at-a-low-price]

Kennedy and the Store Announcements Transcript

Kennedy and the Store Announcements written by Peter Lalush

*paper rustling* What the fuck is this? I don’t WANT to read it, that is NOT my job! Why can’t YOU read it? Store announcements are NOT my priority, watching the MONITORS is … God damn it, come back here – ugh.

*bing bong type sound*

All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up. Manager is still shitty I won’t let them use the PA, so I’m stuck reading this fuckin’ thing to you idiots. Don’t even pretend for a second that I actually like any of you, and if you try anything, I WILL interrupt these announcements to come out there and personally see to it that you are ejected from this and all planes of existence. Got it? Good. Okay, what’s this fucking thing say…

“Hello, loyal Slot-Spot customers! We are delighted you’ve chosen us as your one-stop shop for anything you might possibly need in this or any dimension…” blah blah blah, pretending we care about you at all, blah blah blah.

“Starting today, we are proud to announce that we are carrying snozzberries in the fruit section…” Manager, is this some kind of fucking joke? Um… “…if you don’t know what those are, they probably aren’t for you.” Jesus.

“From now until the foreseeable future, we are having a sale on gods.” (beat) Okay… “You can purchase the Christian god, the Jewish god, or the Islam god and get the other two for free, as they’re pretty much all the same god. Our Greek gods are currently buy one, get one free, so if you’re looking to complete that pantheon, we have you covered. Roman gods are also buy one get one free, since they’re basically the rebranded Greek gods and would have felt bad if we left them out. Unfortunately, we have a limited selection of non-Earth gods, as the majority of them tend to require sacrifice.”

How long is this damn thing? “Our movie section has a series of newly added films that do not currently exist, such as “Fast & Furious 9”, “Faster 10”, “Furiouser 11”, “Fast Fast Fast 12”, “49 Jump Street”, and “The Giant Blob Thing That Ate Everyone Part 2”.” I think that’s a rough translation.

God damn it, please let this be the end. “Finally,” fucking THANK YOU. “Finally, we regret to announce we can no longer carry time-stopping slushies, as they have caused irreparable damage in multiple timelines in multiple dimensions.” Damn, that sounds like fun. “We will not be giving refunds; however, those dissatisfied with their products – or any other products – may receive a hug, a pat on the back, and reassurance that everything is going to be just fine in exchange for their dissatisfaction.”

Oh, god, there’s one more. “We at Slot-Spot are glad you’ve chosen us, and we hope to provide a comfortable shopping experience for you. Unless you’re in the meat aisle, in which case I will be down there with a baseball bat” – for FUCK’S SAKE, MANAGER, will you STOP THREATENING THE CUSTOMERS. That’s MY job.

[hellomissmabel]

Bye Bye Brooklyn Boys (8)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader, Steve x reader

Warnings: This is just so sad. Language. ANGST! (When has this even not been an angsty fic series?)

Word count: 2.500

Summary: You finally muster up the courage to go see Steve, but things take an unexpected turn and you’re both hurting even more.

A/N: It’s based on the song “Sinking Ship” by Causes.

September, October, November , December,

January , February, March

April

We were undefined

Steady as the tide

Always fading

Always fading

We both went our separate ways and ended up right back where it all started. When I saw him again after all these months, sitting in his usual spot at the back of the cafeteria, right there by that poor plant that still seems to be getting too much water for its own good,

my heart stopped.

Never mind skipping a beat, it stopped.

As did his when you locked eyes and Sharon’s hearty laugh immediately died down. Steve stopped talking the minute I set foot in the cafeteria, drawing a tiresome sigh from Sharon who, if looks could kill, would’ve send me straight to hell.

I notice the similarities straightaway, the ruffled blond hair and the athletic built of his toned body, his chiselled jaw and ripped torso that’s always struggling with his shirts and I’m 100% positive he buys them one size too small.

On purpose.

Steve should be wearing a large at least if he wishes to comply to the current academic standards and very strict dress code (almost as constricting as his pants, if you don’t mind me saying). But I don’t think the fashion police is going to shoot him down for wearing a medium though, especially not if it accentuates him this well and in all the fucking right places.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves now.

It’s just that Steve and Thor have quite a bit in common, so it’s safe to say I have a type.

I like blond? Shit, I take more after my mother than I initially thought.

“Mind if we talk in private?”

Fuck, my voice is so small, almost non-existent. And fuck, my internal voice really should stop cussing. I’m trying to get a hold of myself, but it’s of no use against Steve.

“Not at all.” His voice seems to be calm and friendly, just like old times. It’s almost as if you didn’t get on that plane and he didn’t just propose to the woman you once called your friend.

Oh, the irony.

You guide him to a quiet spot just around the vending machines, the buzzing too loud for anyone to catch anything you’re about to say. Unless you scream, that is.

“You look nice.”

I do? Has he even taken a good, hard look at me at all? I’m a mess, I am hungover and I’m trying to flush my jetlag down the drain with gallons and gallons of water. I’ve already drunk so much water I might as well be the fucking Titanic! And not to mention my scruffy outfit, it’s almost as scruffy as the beard Steve’s growing and my poor soul be damned if it doesn’t make him look so much more delicious. Does this man get away with everything? Meantime, I’m sporting my favourite pair of blue skinny jeans, a pair of black flats and a floral blouse that’s missing the top button, showing a little bit more cleavage than I’m comfortable with.

Ugh, I look like shit.

“Thank you. I like your shirt.” Really smooth, Y/N. Compliment him on his shirt, the shirt you’ve just been drooling over.

He shrugs nonchalantly but there’s a little twinkle in his eyes that gives him away. “I’m not surprised. After all, it’s purple, your favourite colour.”

“You remember.” Of course he remembers, it’s been a fucking year, that’s all. It’s not like you disappeared off the surface of the earth.

It does sting a little, just a little to hear you haven’t quite left his mind just yet. He obviously does still care for you. “You’re a hard woman to forget.”

Okay, forget about what I just said. It hurts a lot. A lot.

“How long have you been back?”

“About a month now. Professor Banner and I have been staying at Tony’s at first but then I moved back in with Nat and Wanda. Can’t come home without seeing my girls or I wouldn’t be calling it a home in the first place.”

You let out a light laugh, trying to lift the mood with that small smile you know he just can’t resist. That small, cheeky smile you used to grace him with whenever you were feeling mischievous, whenever you felt like taking good ol’ Stevie out on an adventure. Like that time you crashed a party at Sam’s place so you could ask Steve if he wanted to catch a movie, only to end up downing shots until four in the morning at your local bar and making out on Sam’s couch afterwards – his apartment only a short walk from the pub. Of course he ran in on the two of you on his way to class and you’ll never forget the look on his face, a look of infinite disgust mixed with complete and utter delight. You’ve never seen him more happy than the day he saw the two of you sucking face right in front of him. The day you chose Steve over James.

Or at least thought you did.

“I see. What made you come back all of a sudden?,” Steve asks hesitantly, not knowing if that’s the question he really wants to ask you or if it’s an answer he really wants to know.

And now the ball is in your camp. Do you tell him you’re engaged or keep him off your scent for a little while longer? “Professor Banner, I mean, Bruce… He, uhm,…”

You’ve made tough decisions before, but this? This beats all of them. This right here is the best and the worst decision you’re ever going to make. “Bruce asked me to come work for him.”

You deflect the question. Wait, let me repeat that.

You. Deflect. The question.

“He’s actually discussing it with Tony as we speak.” And if you could, you would face-palm yourself immediately. You’re trying to make amends, not scare the guy for fuck’s sake!

“How long are you going to be gone now?”

“The internship will take about two, maybe three years but there is so much to be taken care of first. I need a work visa, I need a certificate and other official documents. I’m afraid it’ll take a while before everything is sorted out and I can…”

He cuts you off, his brows knitted together in an unfriendly frown. “You’re leaving for good then,” he concludes, his jaw visibly clenched and he’s shooting you a hard glare telling you he means business.

And it really pisses you off.

“Steve, don’t. Don’t blame all this shit on me,” you begin only to be interrupted by Steve once more.

“I’m not blaming you, I’m just asking a question. Am I not allowed to asks questions anymore? Seems to me like you’ve won the God damn lottery! A dream job in your dream country, messing around with some big nerds and discussing hard-core science and all that shit like it’s the resurrection of sweet baby Jesus.”

You knew there would be blow-back but you didn’t see this coming, the sheer wrath reddening his eyes with tears of rage and resentment and by the looks of it, he isn’t even finished yet. There’s more dirt on your way, more and more and more to come, Steve’s swallowed by his fury.

“Everything is just fucking perfect in your life right now, isn’t it? Meanwhile I’ve been drinking myself into the gutter and I fucked up a good friendship, for what? For you! But I don’t count anymore, now do I? Because it seems like you’ve found your dream husband as well,” he spits out, pointing at the ring around your finger.

“He’s not you.” It’s a broken whisper but it manages to shut him up nonetheless. You raise your head to look at him, look him straight in the eye when you speak with your heart on your tongue, with your and his heart on the line. “He’s not you Steve.”

“And Sharon’s not you either,” he responds after a moment.  “Y/N, for all it’s worth, I still love you.”

You look at him in utter confusion. “If you love me still, then what are you doing with Sharon? Do you love her? Do you love Sharon?”

Silence. Nothing but silence.

“Do you think you love her?” you try again and he turns away from your piercing gaze, staring outside the window, his eyes trained on something that isn’t there.

And again there’s silence.

“Please answer me Steve,” you beg silently and you’ve never begged for anything in your life. Is Steve truly worth begging for? At this moment you believe he is, so you pour every single emotion into your next question, knowing that this time round it truly is all or nothing. “Do you love her or do you think you love her?”

“I think I do,” he replies softly. “I think I do but I’m not sure,” he begins and you’re trying very hard to hear him out.

But you can’t.

“You think you do but you’re not sure?” A broken sob rips through you and you’ve never felt this wrecked in your entire life. Blood rushes to your face as you repeat his words. “You’re not sure? My God, Steve, how many times are you going to break my heart?”

You raise your voice the highest you can get and you don’t care anymore whether or not everyone can hear every single word that comes out of your mouth, it all tastes like poison anyway. They tumble out and you’re no longer scared to hurt Steve, he’s hurt you enough as it is.

“First James, then you, then James back at it, then you again… It’s like this endless game of back-and-forth. I’m not a ping-pong ball, Steve! You boys both broke my heart over and over and over again until there was nothing left of it. I needed a year, a year Steve, to collect all the bits and pieces and put it back together. Yes, I had a little help from my fiancé, but this right here?” You point to Steve and then back at you, his pained expression like a magnet pulling you in by your heartstrings but you honestly don’t have the strength anymore to reciprocate his desolation, no matter how wretched you feel. He’s sucked all the life out of you.

“It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to him either. I can’t say ‘I do’ when he doesn’t… Thor doesn’t know I’m still…,” you choke on your words, a strangled sob creeping up your throat and you swallow hard. You can’t tell him that you still love him, too. It would only mean your defeat, he would only try and talk you out of it and you don’t want that. You don’t want Steve to talk you out of it because it would work, he would be able to convince you to leave Thor. It’s Steve and no one can compare to Steve.

No one.

“All you need to know is that I would only mean half of it, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here.”

“Then let’s go! I can ditch Sharon right this very instant! She can keep the fucking ring for all I care!” He’s shouting just as much and as loud as you are, stressing every angry syllable. “I want you! I’ve always wanted you, ever since I first laid eyes on you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?,” you counter almost instantly, laughing bitterly at the absurdity of the situation. Steve finally, FINALLY tells you exactly what you’ve been dying to hear all those months but the flame has died down, the house has turned to ashes. It means nothing to you anymore, your heart frozen over by the Norwegian cold you’ve surrounded yourself with over the past year.

 “I just need to grab my stuff and then we can go straight to the airport and book a flight to wherever you wanna go. Let’s go, Y/N, let’s go and be together. We are meant to be together, you and I.”

There’s still a spark but it’s not enough to keep you warm, on the contrary it only makes you feel more distant, your eyes glossing over as your blood runs cold.

“Steve, I can’t just elope,” you state calmly with your head held high. “Like you said, this is my dream job. I worked too damn hard for this and I’m not going to let you ruin everything. Not again.”

He has no right to say any of this, he has no right and you intend to snuff out all his preposterious ideas. He doesn’t have a hold on you, that privilege he lost the minute you boarded that plane. “You’re not in any position to ask me anything anymore, Steve.”

He looks at you with so much hope and you can’t stand it anymore, you can’t stand the bite of unshed tears anymore. You’re just too stubborn to cry over him, over anyone for that matter. You bite down harshly on your bottom lip, drawing blood and glaring daggers.

“So this is it? You’re just going to leave it there? Run away again?”

“I didn’t run away,” you hiss at him through gritted teeth and a lonely tear finally makes it way down your cheek.

“Have you told Bucky yet?”

They don’t deserve your tears and as a spiteful laugh swells in your throat, you bite your lip in order to stay calm. “No. And given what I’ve heard from Nat and Wanda, it’s perhaps for the best that he doesn’t hear about it at all. But if he does, maybe it’s a good thing he doesn’t hear it from me.”

“You’re really doing this, are you?,” Steve concedes, a glum look on his face. If things were different, you would feel for this man. He sounds battered, bruised and broken, merely a ghost of the Steve you met and fell in love with. Yet it is time to close the proverbial door behind you. Steve doesn’t have to change, he just has to grow up.

“I am.”

You march your way over to the nearest exit, not even bothering to look back at Sharon snickering behind your back. There’s no doubt in your right mind that she heard every single syllable of your heated discussion with Steve and still, still there’s victory written all over her face.

Fuck off, you bitch, you growl internally, You can have him. He’s all yours.

There’s a part of you that wants him to run after you, lace his slender fingers around your wrist and pull you flush against him. To kiss you fiercely and passionately and leave hungry kisses all over your body. You want, no – you need him to come after you and pepper your face with butterfly kisses and spin you around like Thor does. Nevertheless, he just stands there, looking desolately at the ground below.

Part 9: May

Tagging: the ever-wonderful @beccaanne814-blog @kiwi71281 @a-little-hell-to-raise @unpredictable-firecracker @marvelingatthewonder @emilyinwonderland3 @mrshopkirk @oopsmybagofplums @hardcorehippos @iiharu-kunii @knittingknerdy @winterwolf57 @dontbeamenacetotheforce @winterboobaer @shamvictoria11 @thedragonblood @hymnofthevalkyries

[newstanmarshblog]

The Average and Unusual Couple: Chapter Ten

   About almost ninety minutes later after all of his friends had left from his birthday party, Stan is about to get ready to head over to the Netherworld to see what special gift that Beetlejuice and Lydia has gotten for him. But before he makes his trip, he checks out with his parents one more time to be sure that they won’t bother him for the rest of the night.

   Stan: Hey, mom. I just wanna say thank you once again for the PS5, and making this birthday as memorable as possible.

   Sharon: Aww, thank you, sweetie. I’m sorry that your father wasn’t as corroborative as I hoped he would’ve been. I tried my best to get him in being a supportive father just for today, but he just won’t budge from his Tegridy obsession.

   Stan: It’s alright, mom. You did everything that you could. And besides, all the gifts that I received and having my friends over here outweighs his terrible attitude.

   Sharon: I’m glad to hear that. And do you need any help in setting up your PS5 tomorrow?

   Stan: Nah, I think I can handle it myself. But if I ever need you, I’ll let you know.

   Sharon: Well, I’m all free tomorrow just to let you know.

   Stan: Okay. Anyway, I’m about to head into my room for the rest for the night. I wanna check out some of my gifts before I get to bed.

   Sharon: Sounds good then. Good night, sweetheart. And happy birthday.

   Stan: Good night, mom. And thank you so much for everything today.

   He gives his mother one last hug, and then walks upstairs into his room. As he got in, everything was set up for him to make his visit to the Netherworld. His window curtains was shut, and has a candle sitting on his desk. After lighting up the candle, the last thing Stan does was putting on his new T. Rex necklace that Lydia has gotten him recently. He wanted to wear something a little extra for now on whenever he visits the Netherworld, and he thought the necklace would be a perfect fit for that role.

   Stan: Though I know I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary! Ghostly hauntings I turn loose…Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

   Much like from his first experience, a huge thunder sound is heard, the wooden walls of the room tears itself apart, and becomes stone walls. The candle disappears, and some bats begins to fly around in the same large room that he and Lydia has been teleported too before. Afterwards, he opens up the door that enters him into the Netherworld, and it only takes him about a few minutes to reach to the Roadhouse. Over there waiting for him were Beetlejuice, Lydia, and a living yellowish car that was Doomie.

   Stan: Hi, guys!

   Beetlejuice: Stanny boy, happy birthday! 

   Doomie: Beep, beep!

   Lydia: I see that you’re already wearing that T. Rex necklace.

   Stan: Yeah, I thought that I would give it a shot as a little extra something to wear whenever I visit here.

   Lydia smiling: I think it really suits you pretty well. Being the true prehistoric buff that you really are.

   Stan smiling: Thanks.

   Beetlejuice: Tell me quickly, Stan, how would you rate your birthday party overall? Was it like a one out of five chickens that still has their heads, or a perfect five out of five chocolate themed beetles?

   Stan: Umm, from my point of view, it was a nearly perfect five star party with my dad being the only nitpick thing about it. And I don’t think you would’ve enjoyed my party anyway as we all mostly chit-chatted with each other instead of any dancing.

   Beetlejuice: Pfft, I figured. *talks to the reader* Non-wild parties, you know I hate it.

   Lydia: Well anyway, are you ready to find out about your final birthday present?

   Stan getting excited: Oh, hell yeah! I can’t wait to see what it is!

   Beetlejuice: In that case then, hop on aboard with us, and we’ll take you there way faster than a plane trip to Hawaii!

   Stan: Hold on a sec, this is a birthday trip?

   Lydia: That’s right. Me and BJ had this planned out for quite a while now ever since your first visit here. And the place we’re heading to will make you feel like a happy kid in a zoo.

   Beetlejuice: Let’s not waste anymore time, okay! I’ll like to head on over there as quickly as possible too. Let’s go!

   Beetlejuice sat on the driver seat while Stan and Lydia sit next to each other in the back.

   Beetlejuice: Okay, Doomero! Let’s ride on over there!

   Doomie: Beep, beep, beeeep!

   And without any extra thought, Doomie begins to drive fast for the trip to their destination.

   Stan: So, what is the place that we’re heading to? 

   Lydia: It’s one of a few large parks that the Netherworld has to offer, and it’s also the biggest one of them all. It’s called Extinction National Park.

   Stan: Extinction National Park? What kind of a park is it?

   Beetlejuice: It’s more like a wildlife preserve kind of a place, except this park holds every extinct plant and animal species that used to live on Earth. Its landmass is about the size of Australia and Antarctica put together, and it even has its own ocean.

   Stan: Holy shit! I didn’t ever think the Netherworld would never have such a place like that.

   Beetlejuice: Well, Heaven and Hell couldn’t accept any extinct animal as they usually take in people and domesticated animals. That’s why the big man himself created such a large continent just for them.

   Stan: What is it like over there?

   Beetlejuice: There’s no fences or anything like you see in a zoo as you get to explore freely anywhere in this huge park. It’s the ultimate prehistoric wild safari that’ll make Jurassic Park look like a petting zoo. And all the extinct species that you can imagine, you can find them all at Extinction National Park. Prehistoric marine animals, all the extinct mammals, and every single dinosaur that has ever lived!

   Stan excited: Fuck yeah! The kind of trip that is fully right in my alley! And how long will it take us to get over there?

   Beetlejuice: It’ll take us about thirty minutes to reach the ocean, and then it’ll be an hour fly across the open waters from the beach to our destination.

   Stan: I’ll try to get some sleep as much as I can for the time being. What about you, Lydia?

   Lydia: *yawns* I’m with you. I need as much sleep as I can get too.

   Beetlejuice: I’ll give you two a strong odor from me when we get there.

   Lydia: Promise us that it won’t smell too disgusting.

   Beetlejuice: I can’t make any promises, but I’ll come up with something. *uses his magic to place pillows behind their heads* Dream something gross for me.

   Both Stan and Lydia shut their eyes to get some sleep.

   Beetlejuice: *talks to the reader* Love may be the pits for me, but I ain’t gonna lie, they’re literally meant for each other. Just promise me that you won’t say that to them.

   After about over an hour and an half later since leaving the Roadhouse, Doomie was flying across the ocean as he and Beetlejuice sees a huge land dead ahead. And as they approach Extinction National Park, a couple pteranodons were flying by near them. One of the pteranodons gets too close to Doomie.

   Doomie: Beep, beep!

   Beetlejuice: Don’t worry, Doomie. I got something to let out that should scare him away.

   He lets out a huge sticky burp to the pterosaur. The pteranodon smells the disgusting burp, and flies away from them.

   Beetlejuice: Hmm, I still got some left in me. *chuckles* Time to wake them up.

   He lets out the remaining burps he had left, catches some of them with his hands, and then blows the stinky burps towards Stan and Lydia. They both smell the burp that causes them to wake up in a couple seconds.

   Stan: Ugh, something smells like a stink bug.

   Beetlejuice: That was because I had a small bag of stink bugs as a snack while we were traveling.

   Lydia: At least I can tolerate this kind of a smell unlike the stunk deodorant that you use.

   Stan: Oh my god! Lydia, look!

   Lydia turns to where Stan was looking at, and she sees them. A small group of pteranodons flying from a short distance away. They both reacted in such awe by seeing the type of natural sighting that the Earth itself has not seen in over 66 million years.

   Lydia excited: Deadly Vu! Actual pterosaurs right in front of our eyes!

   Stan: I can’t believe that I’m actually seeing them. They look so magnificent!

   Lydia uses her camera to take some pictures of the pteranodons.

   Beetlejuice: If you two thought that was cool, then take a look underneath you.

   Stan and Lydia take a look at the mass open water as they see a pod of marine animals that were dark shaded, and looked like something between a dolphin and a marlin.

   Stan excited: Ichthyosaurs! This is so awesome!

   Lydia: Aww, there’s even some juveniles within the pod. They look so adorable!

   While Lydia takes some pictures of them, one of the ichthyosaur takes a quick jump out of the water like a dolphin.

   Stan excited: Wow! They can jump just as good as dolphins!

   Lydia excited: Yeah, and they’re behaving similarity too despite of them being marine reptiles instead of mammals.

   Stan: This is definitely a wonderful example of convergent evolution right in front of our eyes.

   As Stan and Lydia were geeking out on seeing the ichthyosaurs pod, Doomie sees something approaching the pod that looked like a huge marine snake.

   Doomie: Beep, beep!

   Beetlejuice: Hmm. *sees the big marine animal* Oooh, looks like we’re about to see a hunt being carried out.

   Stan: A hunt? Then where’s the predator?

   Lydia: I see it! Pull over for a second, Doomie!

   Doomie stops flying, and is now floating so that way they can all see the hunt. The predator targets one of the juvenile ichthyosaur that was having a tough time keeping up with the rest of the pod. Stan looks closer to identify what type of animal it was. Its body looked so much like that of a snake, but it had front flippers, and at the end of its tail was a whale like fluke.

   Stan: It’s a basilosaurus.

   Lydia: Oh, yeah. The prehistoric whale that looks like a slender version of a mosasaur.

   Beetlejuice: Oh, thank god. For a moment I thought it a was a giant seaworm.

   The basilosaurus opens its jaws, and lunges them into the young ichthyosaur. As its teeth grips into its prey, the basilosaurus moves its head around for a bit, and then makes another bite into the ichthyosaur. The prey dies immediately from the second bite, and there was a lot of blood everywhere at the scene of the hunt. The prehistoric whale then swims away with its meal while leaving behind a trail of blood.

   Stan in shocked: My god. It feels so surreal to actually see that kind of a hunt in front of us instead of seeing it in a nature documentary.

   Lydia: Yeah, same. I just wish that the victim didn’t had to be that poor juvenile.

   Beetlejuice: That’s nature for ya, Babes. They don’t carry out any rules like how we all do. And frankly, that’s my most favorite thing about it.

   Doomie feeling unease: Awww.

   Lydia: I know it was hard to watch, Doomie, but that what happens in nature everyday. Let’s try to move on, and see what exciting things that this mega park has to offer, okay?

   Doomie: Beep!

   Doomie starts to fly again as they getting closer to Extinction National Park. About a minute later, they’ve finally made into land, and Doomie lands into an open field on the beach. Already they see some big scorpion like creatures hanging around.

   Beetlejuice: Well, well, looks like we got some sea scorpions.

   Stan: Or eurypterids as the paleo community calls them. Although sea scorpions is a pretty cool nickname for them, they’re not true scorpions. They mainly spend much of their lives in the sea, and only have to come into land during mating season and laying their eggs. And from what we’re seeing here, those guys must be laying eggs.

   Lydia excited: Nice! I’ve seen fossils of them during my trip at the Field Museum, and it’s so awesome to see them in person. Especially since arthropods are my favorite group of animals. Stan, can you take a picture of me with those eurypterids?

   Stan smiling: Sure!

   Both Stan and Lydia get out of Doomie, and head towards to where the eurypterids are at. Stan first takes a picture of Lydia with the eurypterids, and then Lydia does the same thing for Stan. And while Lydia takes a few close up pictures of the big arthropods, Beetlejuice does a staring contest with one of them.

   Beetlejuice: If I win, I’m gonna make a barbecue out off of ya. 

   The eurypterid uses one of its pincers to pinch Beetlejuice’s nose.

   Beetlejuice: Owwwww!! Let go of me, you fucking scorpion!

   He uses his hands to pull the arthropod’s pincer off of his nose, but his nose gets pulled off along with it.

   Beetlejuice frustrated: Give me that!

   He physically grabs his nose back from the eurypterid, and then puts his nose back on. He can feel the pinching pain on his nose.

   Beetlejuice: Next time, I’ll be sure to use duck tape. *magically holds a duck head with tape coming out from its mouth, and the duck makes a couple quacks*

   Stan: Come on, dude! We’re ready to see some dinosaurs!

   Beetlejuice: Keep your noses on, I’m coming!

   They begin to move within the huge park. Along the way, they drove by a big cotylorhynchus, some small pterosaurs, and some extinct horses. And as they get closer into the forest, they’ve spotted an interesting creature. It looked like some kind of a dog but with a long tail, and it had stripes on its back.

   Lydia: That must be the Tasmanian tiger. They were once the top predator of Tasmania until humans came into the island and wiped them out.

   Stan: It’s a shame that they’re no longer with us, but from the looks of him, he seems to be having a peaceful lifestyle here. I’m glad to see that at least. Hopefully the wolves in America won’t end up like him.

   Lydia: Agreed.

   Beetlejuice: That critter wouldn’t happened to be named Ty, would he? *turns himself into Ty the Tasmanian Tiger*

   Lydia: *laughs* I doubt it, but who knows.

   The Tasmanian tiger notices them, and for a few brief moments it was staring at them. And then after Lydia takes a quick picture of it, the small predator moves on into the forest.

   Stan: That was amazing. The way he was staring at us like that, reminds me a bit of a wolf.

   Lydia: Exactly what I was thinking too. They were also called a Tasmanian wolf due to how they behaved similarly to them despite on being a marsupial.

   Beetlejuice: And you know what, I’m also surprised that Doomie here didn’t go crazy during that moment. That critter really did looked like a dog after all.

   Doomie: Beep, beep!

   Lydia: The skull on his hood is also his nose, remember?

   Beetlejuice: Oh, right. I can’t believe that I actually forgotten about that.

   Stan: I didn’t know that you could smell, Doomie. You were able to tell that the Tasmanian tiger that we just saw was a marsupial instead of a dog?

   Doomie: Beep!

   Stan: *laughs a bit* Good to know then.

   They then drive on into the forest. There, they’ve encountered many different type of prehistoric animals such as a group of small planet eating dinosaurs call leaellynasaura, a small meat eating dinosaur call ornitholestes, and a huge ape call gigantopithecus. About a half hour later, they come across into an open field where there was some big trees, and a huge watering hole. And also in the open field were some of the largest animals to ever lived. The whole group couldn’t helped but gasped in awe by witnessing the type of natural beauty that’ll never happen on Earth.

   Lydia: Deadly Vu.

   Stan: Unbelievable.

   Beetlejuice: Even for a gross guy like myself, I gotta say, this is one hell of an awesome sighting.

   In the open field, there were many different type of dinosaurs such as a couple Argentinosaurus feeding on the big trees, a group of brontosaurus roaming in the field, a herd of parasaurolophus, some pachyrhinosaurus, and a single stegosaurus drinking at the watering hole. But dinosaurs weren’t the only animals in the area. Other extinct animals in the open field includes a large paraceratherium along with its young calf, a small group of lisowicia, and a traveling herd of Columbian mammoths.

   Stan: I’m a lost for words here. I’ve never ever seen anything like this in my entire life.

   Lydia: This is like the ultimate safari sighting unlike any other. A one of a kind that’ll never happen in human existence, and you and me are the very first living human beings to ever see it.

   Stan smiling: Well said, Lydia.

   Beetlejuice: Anyway, are you gonna take some unforgettable pictures, Lyds?

   Lydia excited: You bet your ass that I’m gonna be doing that, Beetlejuice! Let’s do it!

   Beetlejuice: Woah, I haven’t seen you this excited in quite a while, Babes. *talks to the reader* And you know me, I really fucking love it when she gets this excited! It makes things even more fun! *laughs*

   They start off by flying for some close up pictures of an Argentinosaurus eating from the large conifer tree, along with one picture of Beetlejuice sitting on top of the sauropod’s head. Followed by a couple pictures of the brontosaurus herd. Then took pictures of the Columbian mammoth herd, including a close up one of the little mammoth calves. And took pictures of the watering hole area where many animals including the parasaurolophus herd, the stegosaurus, and the paraceratherium were having their drinks. But Lydia wasn’t done taking pictures yet. She wanted to take some group photos next.

   Lydia: Okay, Stan. Since it’s your birthday, how about we start off by having a picture of you along with the animals in the background. 

   Stan smiling: Alright.

   Stan sets himself up by standing up while smiling towards the camera along with so many prehistoric animals such as Argentinosaurus, pachyrhinosaurus, and lisowicia in the background. Then Lydia gets a picture of herself with the brontosaurus herd. And finally a group picture of Dommie in the center along with Stan on the left side, Lydia on the right side, Beetlejuice floating above them in a lying pose, and the many prehistoric animals drinking at the watering hole in the background.

   Stan: You guys, this has been the most exciting birthday moment that I’ve ever had, and I don’t think anything else will ever top this moving forward. I can’t thank you all enough for giving me this kind of an adventure. I feel like the most happiest person in the Netherworld right now.

   And then suddenly without warning, they begin to hear stomping noise coming from the forest along with a sound of a loud booming noise.

   Doomie feeling nervous: Uh-oh!

   Beetlejuice: Sounds like the king himself has arrived to find his new meal.

   Lydia: King? You don’t mean it’s…it’s…

   Coming out of the forest was a dinosaur that they all knew too well. It was a very large bulky theropod dinosaur, with small arms that had two fingers each, big head with excellent binocular vision, and had banana shaped like teeth.

   Stan: Tyrannosaurus rex!

   Stan was having all types of reactions going on in his mind right now. On one hand, he was so extremely happy in finally seeing his all time favorite prehistoric animal in the fresh. So much in fact that he wanted to get up close to it really badly. But on the other hand, he also knew very well on how dangerous a T. Rex can be, and he needed to be cautious even though he’s afraid of being eaten. A Tyrannosaurus can run up to at least 17 mph, had wonderful eye vision, strong sense of smell, and its bite force is so powerful that its job was to crush bones within its prey. One bite, one kill.

   The T. Rex sniffs into the air to locate its next meal, and it didn’t take too long for the predator to find one. It spotted the group, and starts heading towards them.

   Lydia: Crap, it’s coming for us!

   They all up on abroad into Doomie.

   Stan: Take us out of here, dude!

   Doomie tries to get moving, but he’s not able to move for he had just ran out of his gas.

   Beetlejuice: Had to run out of gas at the wrong time, you bucket of bolt! Good thing I keep a fuel can in your trunk for situations like this.

   Lydia: You keep the T. Rex busy, while me and Stan get Doomie filled up.

   While Stan and Lydia go get the fuel can to fill up Doomie, Beetlejuice appears floating in front of the large predator. The T. Rex stops moving as soon as it sees Beetlejuice.

   Beetlejuice: Yo, Mr. Rex! I was thinking about putting on a new head to scare off my future victims. What do you think of this? *he transforms his head into a head of a spider with big fangs* Pretty scary, am I right?

   The T. Rex looks at Beetlejuice with a confused look on its face for a moment, and then heads toward him to make a bite out of him. He quickly flies backwards to avoid those deadly teeth.

   Beetlejuice: Not impressed, huh? Okay then, how about we put your nose to the ultimate test to see if you can withstand the most disgusting feet that the Netherworld has ever seen!

   He takes his shoes & socks off, revealing his filthy feet that was covered with rotten eggs, dead cockroaches, and dirty toe nails. The smell of Beetlejuice’s dirty feet goes into the T. Rex’s nose. The predator takes a few sniffs from the filthy smell, but the smell only encourages for the T. Rex to hunt down Beetlejuice.

   Beetlejuice: Aaaaahhhh!!!

   While Beetlejuice flies away from the large dinosaur, Stan was filling up Doomie with the fuel can and Lydia was sitting on the driver seat.

   Stan: Okay, that’s all of it. Give it a try.

   Lydia uses the car key to get Doomie running again, and as she does it, the motor was starting to work in full strength.

   Doomie: Beep, beep!

   Lydia: All right! Now, let’s get the hell out of here!

   Stan hops onto the front passenger seat, and then Doomie starts to fly into the sky.

   Stan: Beetlejuice, hop on!

   Beetlejuice: You got it! *turns his attention to the T. rex* It was fun talking with you while it lasted, but right now, I must be hopping off. *magically puts metal springs onto his feet, and then take a huge hop from the ground* Smell you later, big guy!

   He lands into the back seat of Doomie. And as he got in, Stan, Lydia, and Doomie all can smell Beetlejuice’s dirty feet.

   Lydia disgusted: Beetlejuice, put your shoes back on for us, would ya?

   Beetlejuice: Fine, but if something tries to attack us again, I’m taking them off. *he puts his shoes & socks back on*

   Meanwhile on the ground, the Tyrannosaurus rex turns its attention to the herbivorous animals, and moves towards them.

   Stan: Hold on a second, guys. I wanna see the T. Rex doing its hunt. Especially since it’ll be something that we’re probably never gonna see again.

   Lydia: Yeah, and I do want to take some pictures of the Rex before we leave. However, if that predator tries to kill a calf, we’re leaving no matter what. I just don’t want to see something so young getting killed again.

   Stan: I understand.

   As the gang watch from the safety up above, the T. Rex makes its pursue for a kill. First it tries to go after the parasaurolophus herd, but they were too fast for the large predator. Next it tries to go for the Columbian mammoth herd, but they put up an aggressive defense by forming a straight line with the calves behind them. The T. Rex knew better than trying to attack the large sauropods and an over protective paraceratherium mother. And the pachyrhinosaurus, and lisowicia herd were fully gone as soon as they saw the large dinosaur. The last animal in the area was the single stegosaurus. It was moving very slowly as it couldn’t run. The T. Rex locks its eyes into the plated dinosaur, and then moves towards it.

   Lydia: Looks like we’re about to see an epic fight here.

   Stan getting excited: Whoever wins, this fight will be worth remembering for the rest of our lives!

   Beetlejuice: It’s showtime! *pulls up a music player, and plays The Rite of Spring song from Fantasia*

   As the T. rex comes closer, the stegosaurus positions itself in full defensive mode to make sure that its thagomizer can get a good hit of the predator. The Tyrannosaurus stops close enough to be in a safe distance from those spikes, and the two are now in an intense stalemate. The T. Rex makes the first move by trying to make a bite in the legs, but stegosaurus swings its tail hitting the upper thigh, and the Rex backs off with only minor wounds. Next it try to move sideways in order to get a better shot in biting the neck, but the plated dinosaur was moving along with it, and the two stopped moving. The Tyrannosaurus then tried to get the stegosaurus move back by making a fake attack display, but the opponent hold its grounds and swings its tail again, almost hitting the predator’s head. The T. Rex decided to move backwards a little, and makes a head butting move against the stegosaurus. The predator successfully head butted its opponent before it had a chance to use those thagomizer again, and the stegosaurs falls into the ground. The tyrant lizard makes the final fatal blow by using its powerful bite into the stegosaurus’s neck, resulting in an immediate death. The Tyrannosaurus rex had won the battle, and begins to feast onto its prize.

   Beetlejuice: The king sure dose know how to put on a good show.

   Stan: That was so fucking awesome! Now that’s what I call an epic prehistoric fight for sure! Even way better than those shitty fights done in Jurassic Fight Club. Did you get some really good pictures, Lydia?

   Lydia: Not only did I get some really cool pictures of the T. Rex hunting, but I even video recorded the whole fight too.

   Stan: Nice! Be sure to send me that video whenever you can.

   Lydia: Sure thing.

   Stan: And by the way, since this is the second animal kill that’ve we seen in this trip, do they actually stay permanently dead for good unlike how the rest of the Netherworld works with its death rule?

   Beetlejuice: In Extinction National Park, whenever an animal dies, they’ll be reborn back into their juvenile body with their old memories wiped out, and have to start all over from scratch. In a nutshell, everything works here like a recycling routine. *turns himself into a recycling symbol*

   Stan: Interesting.

   Beetlejuice: So, Stanny boy, anywhere else in this mega park you like to visit? There’s a snowy area that has all the ice age animals such as woolly mammoths and cave lions, a swampy area where all the carboniferous giant insects live at, or even a desert area where you can see all the dinosaurs that once lived in the gobi desert. Actually, now that I think about it, let’s not go to any region that has deserts. I don’t want to be eaten up by any sandworm.

   Stan: I seriously would love to see them, but I need to be heading back home to get some sleep. It’s almost 1:30 am.

   Lydia: Me too. I plan on talking to Bertha and Prudence on Skype during the afternoon, and I don’t want to look tried in front of them.

   Beetlejuice: Yeah, I’m getting sleepy too. How about you, Doomero?

   Doomie: *yawns* Beep!

   Beetlejuice: You and I can sleepover at a cave in the nearby mountain that I know of.

   Lydia: Just be safe from any dangerous animals when you two leave in the morning.

   Beetlejuice: Don’t sweat it, Lyds. We’ve faced situations worse than this. Doomie and I will make it home without a scratch.

   Lydia: Okay then. And Stan, you must be feeling like a happy camper right now. *chuckles a bit*

   Stan smiling: Again, I can’t thank you all enough for giving me this unforgettable adventure. This will go down as the greatest birthday experience that I’ll ever have. And I’m so happy to have you all as a part of my life now.

   Lydia: I have a little extra gift that I want to give you before I leave. Can you close your eyes for a moment? 

   As Stan closes his eyes, Lydia suddenly gives him a kiss on his right cheek. Stan immediately blushes on having his very first kiss from a girl in serval years. He really didn’t expected for Lydia on making the first move to express their true feelings for each other.

   Lydia smiling: I’ll see you at school, Stan. Sleep well. Home, home, home! *she disappears*

   Beetlejuice: Well, well, looks like Lyds was trying to tell you that she loves you.

   Stan: *sign* I honestly didn’t think she would do something like that so soon before I had the chance to tell her about my feelings for her. I love Lydia very much, but I also want to tell her at the right moment without acting too quickly about it.

   Beetlejuice: Just do me a favor though, when you two convince your love for each other, don’t do it when I’m around because I find that kind of stuff too disgusting. *closes his eyes and sticks his tongue out*

   Stan: Umm, okay. But anyway, thank you for the exciting adventure, BJ. And same goes to you too, Doomie.

   Doomie: Beep, beep!

   Stan: Have a good night sleep, you two. Home, home, home!

   He is then teleported back to his bedroom, and everything still remains as the way he left them.

   Stan: I can’t believe that she kissed me in a way to say that she loves me without even saying a single word about it. That was totally unexpected.

   While getting himself ready for bed, he was thinking about on when to tell her that he loves her too. Then he remembers that he and Lydia are planning on going to a Halloween party together along with Beetlejuice that’s gonna be held at the South Park community center. And then when the two are truly alone together during Halloween night, he’ll finally make his move to convince his love for her.

   Stan: I’ll tell her on Halloween night. Especially since it’s her favorite night of the year, it’ll be the right timing for it. I’m gonna make damn sure that it’ll be the best Halloween night that she’ll ever have.

   He then heads into his bed, and closes his eyes to get a good night sleep.

   In the next chapter, Stan and Lydia have some fun at the Halloween party, and convince their true feelings for each other.

[wanderonwardsvanessa]

Traveling to Cuba as an American was daunting. Will they let me in? What questions will they ask me at immigration? Should I get a stamp? YIKES. That’s EXACTLY why I wanted to write a guide for Americans specifically because the Cuba landscape continues to change over and over for us. Whilst this post might become a little outdated as the political climate changes, I will focus on the experience as a whole so you can have some idea of what to expect once you’re there.

In this Havana Guide for Americans, you’ll read about:

Immigration Process

Exchanging Money

Internet (or lack thereof)

Casa Particulares

Tourism top 5

Unique oddities

FREE Downloadable Google Map (works in offline mode!)

Immigration Process 

There’s A LOT of information online about traveling to Cuba as an American and it can feel SO overwhelming. I wanted to make sure that my Guide for Americans traveling to Cuba wasn’t vague and unspecific, so I’m going to cover my experience of going through Immigration in detail to give you a mental picture about what to expected. In my Guide for Americans, I’ll be discussing:

Necessary documents

Getting a Cuban Visa

The Cuban immigration process

Getting cash.

1. Necessary Documents

When flying to Cuba, all of the Guides for Americans will tell you that you are expected to have the following when you arrive.

Passport valid for at least one month beyond your departure date

Cuba ‘tourist card’ filled out completely

Proof of travel medical insurance (as there are random checks at airport)

Evidence of sufficient funds for the duration of your stay

Return air ticket

However, in this Guide for Americans, I wanted to focus on what actually happened vs what the government websites will imply as they often focus on a ‘worst-case scenario.’

Reality

We were never asked for proof of travel medical insurance NOR proof of sufficient funds for the duration of our stay. I’ve heard from sites like ViaHero that having a ‘detailed itinerary’ to present at Immigration is necessary to ‘prove’ you are NOT spending money at government establishments and instead, you are supporting the local Cuban people… but I was never asked about this once. I still came with a proper agenda printed out, but this caused me a significant amount of anxiety that I thought I would spare you in my Guide for Americans.

2. Getting a Cuban Visa

We took an Interjet flight from Cancun to Havana in December 2019 and the flights were about £50 per person. Before checking in, we needed to get our ‘Cuban Visa,’ which can be obtained at the Interjet Customer Support Desk to the right of the airport entrance. However the Customer Support Desk was CLOSED with no sign about when it would be open and this was going to be a major theme with our Interjet experience (lol).

When the Interjet counter was finally open, we purchased our ‘Cuban Visa’ for 350 pesos each, which is just over $18 USD. We have heard of ‘special representatives’ that will fill the visa out for you and charge a markup (around 400 pesos), however, someone at the desk told us to get the visa by the check-in line with two Interjet representatives and they did not charge us a markup.

In my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba, I want to emphasize that there is no need to over stress about this process. It’s super easy. The Visa has no background checks or any actual admin involved. It’s just your personal information and you need to keep it for your entire trip as they will take it back when you leave Cuba. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!

You DO NOT need to pay an extortionate amount of money to get a Cuban Visa before departure. We saw prices of up to $90 usd online to get the visa before our trip began and we decided to ‘risk it for a biscuit’ by getting it the day of. There were no complications.

A few Weird Things About Interjet Worth Noting!

Both Interjet’s check-in desk and Customer Support desk ONLY opens 3 hours in advance… and not a second before (lol)

There is no ability to check-in early online. You have to come 3 hours in advance because it will take that long due to the +4 or 5 bags each individual Cuba traveller will check in. These are filled with staples that they are likely taking home to their family.

The seats on the Interjet plane are incredibly spacious and comfortable. Who knew?!

When calling out ‘groups’ for boarding, no one really cares which group you’re in. It’s a mad dash after Group 1.

3. Cuban Immigration Process

This is where I wanted my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba to be different. I wasn’t able to find a ‘play-by-play’ in any other Guide for Americans regarding what happens once you get to Immigration – so I decided to put one together for you guys 🙂

What Actually Happened

When you get off your flight, you’ll be ushered into a single immigration hall with several, long red desks that separate you from the other side. Every single immigration officer was an attractive young woman, between age 22-32 I would say. We asked our guide why and she said these ladies are hoping to meet someone who will take them OUT of Cuba, but it’s hard to find love in Immigration – ya feel me?

Here’s what happened to me:

I gave my passport to the woman and she asked me to look into a camera (no smiling) to take a photo. No questions were asked.

She started fumbling with a stamp and I asked her not to stamp my passport. She stamped my Cuban Visa instead (on a separate sheet) and I went through the turnstile.

Then there was another baggage check just for what you carried onto the plane with a metal detector and X-ray machine.

After this, I left to get my bags but I noticed people were fumbling with a blue document. I was told by another foreigner it was a declaration of good document so I thought I wouldn’t need it.

When I tried to leave the baggage claim, I was stopped because I had no blue document. The Blue Document is IMPORTANT.

However, when I went back for the blue document, the young woman wouldn’t give me the document?? I started arguing in Spanish with them until an older, more senior lady took it from her subordinate and gave me a copy.

On the Blue Document, you have to declare what type of things you’re bringing in (money, items, pornography…?) and then you pass the paper along to the final security person to leave.

Note: There was a table of white coats between the final baggage check and the checked baggage. They didn’t interact with everyone; they only pulled a few people. This might be where you need to demonstrate that you have travel insurance, but I don’t know this for sure.

4. Getting Cash at Havana International Airport

Here’s another gap in most Guides for Americans. Most of the guides ‘mentioned’ that you could exchange money at the airport, but they neglected to describe the oddities involved.

When you exit baggage and immigration, you’ll walk into the main airport entrance area. To your right, there are several “ATM-looking things” BUT they are for exchanging cash – not withdrawing money – as you would from a normal ATM. All 6 of our British cards were declined and no American cards were accepted for obvious reasons, but at that time, we didn’t realize they weren’t ATMs and we just thought we were stranded in Cuba with no money.

PRO TIP: Bring AT LEAST enough cash for the first 2 days of you stay. This will give you time to find a proper bank or ATM.

Hotel transfers via the hotel are around $30 one way and meals range from $5 pp at a local-ish place to $30 pp at your Casa Particulares and nice western restaurants. So $200 in cash is a decent bet for 2 people.

Exchanging Money

What. A. PAIN. This was probably my biggest exchange fail ever – so don’t fall into the same trap as me! We probably lost at least $100 USD because we exchanged GBP to USD in Mexico AND THEN we had to exchange USD to CUC when in Cuba. I think £400 GBP only got us 280 CUC after all the conversions and penalties- UGH.

Due to American/Cuban tensions, American companies, financial institutions, and technically the US dollar are all “banned” in Cuba; OR there are heavy penalties and fines associated with them. However, you CAN use USD in Cuba, but it’s complicated. Many companies and service people actually prefer to be tipped or paid in USD because the Cuban currency is worthless outside of Cuba. This way, they hedge their risk.

There are 3 currencies in Cuba:

USD – US Dollar

CUC – Cuban Convertible Peso (for foreigners & tourism industry). The CUC is pegged to the USD so it’s a 1-to-1 exchange.

CUP – The Cuban Peso (the “national currency” only for locals).

Notice: If you’re exchanging USD to CUC, you’re going to get hit with a 10% penalty fee AND a worse exchange rate. You’ve been warned.

Currency Best Practice

When exchanging money, you will always need your passport to do so. Don’t forget it! In this Guide for Americans, I’ve also included a few non-American specifics tips as you’ve seen along the way! However, I think the biggest difference in experience between non-Americans and Americans is regarding currency.

Non-Americans: If you are NOT American, you should bring either Euros or GBP to Cuba and exchange it for CUC. You debit cards will work at normal ATMs just fine and GBP will get the best exchange rate.

Americans: There are a few options –

Option 1: Bring USD from America and exchange money at the airport, at your hotel OR at the bank. Due to the 10% penalty and of course ‘conversion fees’ (annoying), you’re only going to get 0.83 CUC to the 1 USD.

Option 2: Exchange USD to GBP or Euros whilst in America, bring non-US currency to Cuba, exchange at a bank, the airport or at your casa particulares.

Option 3: Spend 1 USD as 1 CUC. Most tourism companies prefer USD as the CUC is essentially worthless outside of Cuba. We paid multiple taxis in USD only because we ran out of CUC.

Notice: You CANNOT use CUC or CUP in the airport!! Spend it all on your taxi to the airport or be prepared to have this be a suck.

Internet (or lack thereof)

Wifi is not really a thing in Cuba as access to the internet in Cuba is restricted and censored by the government; it is also VERY expensive.  I would 100% download my FREE Google Maps layer in the ‘offline’ mode so you can use it once you’re inside.

To give you an idea of how behind things are, cell phones only got mobile data (3G) in January 2019 sooo wifi is a relatively new thing.  You should come prepared with your itinerary downloaded on your phone and it would also be worth printing all of the necessary documents as well.

The only places you can access wifi are:

Upscale Casa Particulares (Like mine!)

Wifi Parks (you’ll need to buy a NAUTA card at any of Cuba’s ETECSA offices)

Some ‘Foreigner-focus’ establishments

I wouldn’t recommend buying a Cuban Sim card for your phone because there’s a BIG risk of compromising your data or security. Also, be prepare to pay for wifi in your Casa Particulares as it’s not often free.

Accommodation (Casa Particulares)

When traveling to Cuba, I can absolutely recommend staying in a ‘Casa Particular’ (spanish for a “private house”). The Casa Particulares are essentially a bed and breakfast and are typically owned and operated by local people. When you stay at a Casa Particular, you know that your money is going to real people and not the government.

Because of the difficult trade situation with America, you can’t actually book accommodation on American-owned Online Travel Agencies like Expedia or Booking.com. Instead, you’re going to need to book directly with the Casa Particulares and often pay in cash once you arrive (unless you have a non-American card).

El Candil Boutique Hotel

We stayed with El Candil Boutique Hotel during our time in Havana and it was our saving grace. We organized a taxi transfer via El Candil and THANK GOODNESS for that because we weren’t able to get any CUC at the airport and we were freaking out. It was late, we had been traveling for hours, and we were stressed out about not being able to get cash so when I saw our driver I let out a big sigh of relief. Just one more little thing that we didn’t have worry about. The transfer from the airport was $30 CUC (or $30) and this seemed to be a normal price after taking quite a few taxis during our time in Havana.

When we arrived, I had organized a dinner for us at the hotel so we wouldn’t have to go searching for food so late at night. Not only did we have an incredible 3 course dinner, all of it was lactose AND gluten-free (per my request) and tasted AMAZING. We also enjoyed wifi on the roof and several mojitos so you could say it was a ‘difficult’ life in Cuba for us 😉

El Candil was formerly a grand old colonial house and it was restored to be a Casa Particular (i.e. tourist B&B) in the heart of El Vedado district. Not only are the amenities brand new (which is very rare in Cuba), but they also offer a wide range of services and benefits.

Taxi transfers to the airport or anywhere else

Rooftop bar and restaurant

New amenities, in-room safe, spectacular bathroom and products

An in-house spa & salon with massages, nails, hair, etc services

Tours and excellent food recommendations

Money exchange with the same rates as the bank

Another absolute perk were the powerful in-house backup generators. There are loads of power-outages in Cuba all the time and we never lost power thanks to the thoughtful planning of El Candil’s management.

It’s also worth mentioning that the concierges spoke perfect English and communication was never an issue. I know this can be a real anxiety for some travelers and with no internet in Cuba, it becomes that much more complicated organizing things. Whilst I hope this Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba is helpful to prepare with, I know that once you’re inside of Cuba it’s a whole different ballgame! You’ll thank me later for this recommendation 😉

Top 5 Tourist Things to Do

Old Car Tour of Havana: You can organize a proper tour with an English-speaking guide (or whatever language you prefer) for about $130 – $150 USD. Many of the tour guides that I contacted wanted USD over CUC. We were unable to meet our tour operator due to my mistake with times (waahh) so we just asked a random guy with a random old car to take us around for an hour. It was nice enough and only $30.

Sunset Drink on the rooftop of Hotel Inglaterra: The sunset is pretty spectacular looking over the ‘Parque Central’ plaza with the Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes in the distance. Fair warning, this is a government-owned property.

Free Walking Tour of Havana: My FAVORITE way to see a new city is to always go on a Free Walking Tour. You just have to reserve this online for free and then you should tip your guide at the end.

Stay in a Casa Particular: This is the BEST way to support the Cuban people and to get a real taste of Cuban hospitality. These are not government owned in any-way. Don’t forget to check out El Candil Boutique Hotel and to let them know I sent you ❤

Night out at Fabrica de Arte Cubano: The atmosphere is incredible. There are drinks, live performances, and multiple levels of local art that will give you a better understanding of Cuban life and culture.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba article! It took me a loonngg time to write, but I hope this takes out any anxiety you might feel when traveling to Cuba. It’s such a beautiful country and your money REALLY makes a difference to the locals who work hard to create an incredible experience for you.

Before you go, please do check out my FREE downloadable Google Map below. It’s the PERFECT resource when you’re inside of Cuba because there’s an ‘offline’ version that you can download and use without wifi. Please also SHARE my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba if you liked it with your friends and travel buddies.

Free Downloadable Google Map!

Just press the ‘[ ]’ to download it onto your Google Maps app. Don’t forget to download the ‘offline’ map version as there’s no wifi in Cuba.

Havana, Cuba: A Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba in 2020 Traveling to Cuba as an American was daunting. Will they let me in? What questions will they ask me at immigration?

[wanderonwardsvanessa]

Traveling to Cuba as an American was daunting. Will they let me in? What questions will they ask me at immigration? Should I get a stamp? YIKES. That’s EXACTLY why I wanted to write a guide for Americans specifically because the Cuba landscape continues to change over and over for us. Whilst this post might become a little outdated as the political climate changes, I will focus on the experience as a whole so you can have some idea of what to expect once you’re there.

In this Havana Guide for Americans, you’ll read about:

Immigration Process

Exchanging Money

Internet (or lack thereof)

Casa Particulares

Tourism top 5

Unique oddities

FREE Downloadable Google Map (works in offline mode!)

Immigration Process 

There’s A LOT of information online about traveling to Cuba as an American and it can feel SO overwhelming. I wanted to make sure that my Guide for Americans traveling to Cuba wasn’t vague and unspecific, so I’m going to cover my experience of going through Immigration in detail to give you a mental picture about what to expected. In my Guide for Americans, I’ll be discussing:

Necessary documents

Getting a Cuban Visa

The Cuban immigration process

Getting cash.

1. Necessary Documents

When flying to Cuba, all of the Guides for Americans will tell you that you are expected to have the following when you arrive.

Passport valid for at least one month beyond your departure date

Cuba ‘tourist card’ filled out completely

Proof of travel medical insurance (as there are random checks at airport)

Evidence of sufficient funds for the duration of your stay

Return air ticket

However, in this Guide for Americans, I wanted to focus on what actually happened vs what the government websites will imply as they often focus on a ‘worst-case scenario.’

Reality

We were never asked for proof of travel medical insurance NOR proof of sufficient funds for the duration of our stay. I’ve heard from sites like ViaHero that having a ‘detailed itinerary’ to present at Immigration is necessary to ‘prove’ you are NOT spending money at government establishments and instead, you are supporting the local Cuban people… but I was never asked about this once. I still came with a proper agenda printed out, but this caused me a significant amount of anxiety that I thought I would spare you in my Guide for Americans.

2. Getting a Cuban Visa

We took an Interjet flight from Cancun to Havana in December 2019 and the flights were about £50 per person. Before checking in, we needed to get our ‘Cuban Visa,’ which can be obtained at the Interjet Customer Support Desk to the right of the airport entrance. However the Customer Support Desk was CLOSED with no sign about when it would be open and this was going to be a major theme with our Interjet experience (lol).

When the Interjet counter was finally open, we purchased our ‘Cuban Visa’ for 350 pesos each, which is just over $18 USD. We have heard of ‘special representatives’ that will fill the visa out for you and charge a markup (around 400 pesos), however, someone at the desk told us to get the visa by the check-in line with two Interjet representatives and they did not charge us a markup.

In my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba, I want to emphasize that there is no need to over stress about this process. It’s super easy. The Visa has no background checks or any actual admin involved. It’s just your personal information and you need to keep it for your entire trip as they will take it back when you leave Cuba. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!

You DO NOT need to pay an extortionate amount of money to get a Cuban Visa before departure. We saw prices of up to $90 usd online to get the visa before our trip began and we decided to ‘risk it for a biscuit’ by getting it the day of. There were no complications.

A few Weird Things About Interjet Worth Noting!

Both Interjet’s check-in desk and Customer Support desk ONLY opens 3 hours in advance… and not a second before (lol)

There is no ability to check-in early online. You have to come 3 hours in advance because it will take that long due to the +4 or 5 bags each individual Cuba traveller will check in. These are filled with staples that they are likely taking home to their family.

The seats on the Interjet plane are incredibly spacious and comfortable. Who knew?!

When calling out ‘groups’ for boarding, no one really cares which group you’re in. It’s a mad dash after Group 1.

3. Cuban Immigration Process

This is where I wanted my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba to be different. I wasn’t able to find a ‘play-by-play’ in any other Guide for Americans regarding what happens once you get to Immigration – so I decided to put one together for you guys 🙂

What Actually Happened

When you get off your flight, you’ll be ushered into a single immigration hall with several, long red desks that separate you from the other side. Every single immigration officer was an attractive young woman, between age 22-32 I would say. We asked our guide why and she said these ladies are hoping to meet someone who will take them OUT of Cuba, but it’s hard to find love in Immigration – ya feel me?

Here’s what happened to me:

I gave my passport to the woman and she asked me to look into a camera (no smiling) to take a photo. No questions were asked.

She started fumbling with a stamp and I asked her not to stamp my passport. She stamped my Cuban Visa instead (on a separate sheet) and I went through the turnstile.

Then there was another baggage check just for what you carried onto the plane with a metal detector and X-ray machine.

After this, I left to get my bags but I noticed people were fumbling with a blue document. I was told by another foreigner it was a declaration of good document so I thought I wouldn’t need it.

When I tried to leave the baggage claim, I was stopped because I had no blue document. The Blue Document is IMPORTANT.

However, when I went back for the blue document, the young woman wouldn’t give me the document?? I started arguing in Spanish with them until an older, more senior lady took it from her subordinate and gave me a copy.

On the Blue Document, you have to declare what type of things you’re bringing in (money, items, pornography…?) and then you pass the paper along to the final security person to leave.

Note: There was a table of white coats between the final baggage check and the checked baggage. They didn’t interact with everyone; they only pulled a few people. This might be where you need to demonstrate that you have travel insurance, but I don’t know this for sure.

4. Getting Cash at Havana International Airport

Here’s another gap in most Guides for Americans. Most of the guides ‘mentioned’ that you could exchange money at the airport, but they neglected to describe the oddities involved.

When you exit baggage and immigration, you’ll walk into the main airport entrance area. To your right, there are several “ATM-looking things” BUT they are for exchanging cash – not withdrawing money – as you would from a normal ATM. All 6 of our British cards were declined and no American cards were accepted for obvious reasons, but at that time, we didn’t realize they weren’t ATMs and we just thought we were stranded in Cuba with no money.

PRO TIP: Bring AT LEAST enough cash for the first 2 days of you stay. This will give you time to find a proper bank or ATM.

Hotel transfers via the hotel are around $30 one way and meals range from $5 pp at a local-ish place to $30 pp at your Casa Particulares and nice western restaurants. So $200 in cash is a decent bet for 2 people.

Exchanging Money

What. A. PAIN. This was probably my biggest exchange fail ever – so don’t fall into the same trap as me! We probably lost at least $100 USD because we exchanged GBP to USD in Mexico AND THEN we had to exchange USD to CUC when in Cuba. I think £400 GBP only got us 280 CUC after all the conversions and penalties- UGH.

Due to American/Cuban tensions, American companies, financial institutions, and technically the US dollar are all “banned” in Cuba; OR there are heavy penalties and fines associated with them. However, you CAN use USD in Cuba, but it’s complicated. Many companies and service people actually prefer to be tipped or paid in USD because the Cuban currency is worthless outside of Cuba. This way, they hedge their risk.

There are 3 currencies in Cuba:

USD – US Dollar

CUC – Cuban Convertible Peso (for foreigners & tourism industry). The CUC is pegged to the USD so it’s a 1-to-1 exchange.

CUP – The Cuban Peso (the “national currency” only for locals).

Notice: If you’re exchanging USD to CUC, you’re going to get hit with a 10% penalty fee AND a worse exchange rate. You’ve been warned.

Currency Best Practice

When exchanging money, you will always need your passport to do so. Don’t forget it! In this Guide for Americans, I’ve also included a few non-American specifics tips as you’ve seen along the way! However, I think the biggest difference in experience between non-Americans and Americans is regarding currency.

Non-Americans: If you are NOT American, you should bring either Euros or GBP to Cuba and exchange it for CUC. You debit cards will work at normal ATMs just fine and GBP will get the best exchange rate.

Americans: There are a few options –

Option 1: Bring USD from America and exchange money at the airport, at your hotel OR at the bank. Due to the 10% penalty and of course ‘conversion fees’ (annoying), you’re only going to get 0.83 CUC to the 1 USD.

Option 2: Exchange USD to GBP or Euros whilst in America, bring non-US currency to Cuba, exchange at a bank, the airport or at your casa particulares.

Option 3: Spend 1 USD as 1 CUC. Most tourism companies prefer USD as the CUC is essentially worthless outside of Cuba. We paid multiple taxis in USD only because we ran out of CUC.

Notice: You CANNOT use CUC or CUP in the airport!! Spend it all on your taxi to the airport or be prepared to have this be a suck.

Internet (or lack thereof)

Wifi is not really a thing in Cuba as access to the internet in Cuba is restricted and censored by the government; it is also VERY expensive.  I would 100% download my FREE Google Maps layer in the ‘offline’ mode so you can use it once you’re inside.

To give you an idea of how behind things are, cell phones only got mobile data (3G) in January 2019 sooo wifi is a relatively new thing.  You should come prepared with your itinerary downloaded on your phone and it would also be worth printing all of the necessary documents as well.

The only places you can access wifi are:

Upscale Casa Particulares (Like mine!)

Wifi Parks (you’ll need to buy a NAUTA card at any of Cuba’s ETECSA offices)

Some ‘Foreigner-focus’ establishments

I wouldn’t recommend buying a Cuban Sim card for your phone because there’s a BIG risk of compromising your data or security. Also, be prepare to pay for wifi in your Casa Particulares as it’s not often free.

Accommodation (Casa Particulares)

When traveling to Cuba, I can absolutely recommend staying in a ‘Casa Particular’ (spanish for a “private house”). The Casa Particulares are essentially a bed and breakfast and are typically owned and operated by local people. When you stay at a Casa Particular, you know that your money is going to real people and not the government.

Because of the difficult trade situation with America, you can’t actually book accommodation on American-owned Online Travel Agencies like Expedia or Booking.com. Instead, you’re going to need to book directly with the Casa Particulares and often pay in cash once you arrive (unless you have a non-American card).

El Candil Boutique Hotel

We stayed with El Candil Boutique Hotel during our time in Havana and it was our saving grace. We organized a taxi transfer via El Candil and THANK GOODNESS for that because we weren’t able to get any CUC at the airport and we were freaking out. It was late, we had been traveling for hours, and we were stressed out about not being able to get cash so when I saw our driver I let out a big sigh of relief. Just one more little thing that we didn’t have worry about. The transfer from the airport was $30 CUC (or $30) and this seemed to be a normal price after taking quite a few taxis during our time in Havana.

When we arrived, I had organized a dinner for us at the hotel so we wouldn’t have to go searching for food so late at night. Not only did we have an incredible 3 course dinner, all of it was lactose AND gluten-free (per my request) and tasted AMAZING. We also enjoyed wifi on the roof and several mojitos so you could say it was a ‘difficult’ life in Cuba for us 😉

El Candil was formerly a grand old colonial house and it was restored to be a Casa Particular (i.e. tourist B&B) in the heart of El Vedado district. Not only are the amenities brand new (which is very rare in Cuba), but they also offer a wide range of services and benefits.

Taxi transfers to the airport or anywhere else

Rooftop bar and restaurant

New amenities, in-room safe, spectacular bathroom and products

An in-house spa & salon with massages, nails, hair, etc services

Tours and excellent food recommendations

Money exchange with the same rates as the bank

Another absolute perk were the powerful in-house backup generators. There are loads of power-outages in Cuba all the time and we never lost power thanks to the thoughtful planning of El Candil’s management.

It’s also worth mentioning that the concierges spoke perfect English and communication was never an issue. I know this can be a real anxiety for some travelers and with no internet in Cuba, it becomes that much more complicated organizing things. Whilst I hope this Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba is helpful to prepare with, I know that once you’re inside of Cuba it’s a whole different ballgame! You’ll thank me later for this recommendation 😉

Top 5 Tourist Things to Do

Old Car Tour of Havana: You can organize a proper tour with an English-speaking guide (or whatever language you prefer) for about $130 – $150 USD. Many of the tour guides that I contacted wanted USD over CUC. We were unable to meet our tour operator due to my mistake with times (waahh) so we just asked a random guy with a random old car to take us around for an hour. It was nice enough and only $30.

Sunset Drink on the rooftop of Hotel Inglaterra: The sunset is pretty spectacular looking over the ‘Parque Central’ plaza with the Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes in the distance. Fair warning, this is a government-owned property.

Free Walking Tour of Havana: My FAVORITE way to see a new city is to always go on a Free Walking Tour. You just have to reserve this online for free and then you should tip your guide at the end.

Stay in a Casa Particular: This is the BEST way to support the Cuban people and to get a real taste of Cuban hospitality. These are not government owned in any-way. Don’t forget to check out El Candil Boutique Hotel and to let them know I sent you ❤

Night out at Fabrica de Arte Cubano: The atmosphere is incredible. There are drinks, live performances, and multiple levels of local art that will give you a better understanding of Cuban life and culture.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba article! It took me a loonngg time to write, but I hope this takes out any anxiety you might feel when traveling to Cuba. It’s such a beautiful country and your money REALLY makes a difference to the locals who work hard to create an incredible experience for you.

Before you go, please do check out my FREE downloadable Google Map below. It’s the PERFECT resource when you’re inside of Cuba because there’s an ‘offline’ version that you can download and use without wifi. Please also SHARE my Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba if you liked it with your friends and travel buddies.

Free Downloadable Google Map!

Just press the ‘[ ]’ to download it onto your Google Maps app. Don’t forget to download the ‘offline’ map version as there’s no wifi in Cuba.

Havana, Cuba: A Guide for Americans Traveling to Cuba in 2020 Traveling to Cuba as an American was daunting. Will they let me in? What questions will they ask me at immigration?