#cause how else am i supposed to love
Text
this tiktok comment stopped me dead in my tracks
like what happens now?
#tiktok#this video was about richard siken#that feels pretty fitting#i welcome love to devour me and lick my bones clean#cause how else am i supposed to love#love#richard siken#poetry#reminded me of the time will pass anyways one
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s about how Cha Yeowoon represented everything everything everything that Tae Myungha hated about himself and he fell in love anyway. He fell in love with the broken sad boy who just needed someone there.
It’s about how Myungha took care of everyone else but neglected himself. He neglected the sad boy who just needed someone there.
What Myungha needed was nothing more than himself.
It’s about how Yeowoon fell in love with Myunga and in doing so learned to love himself enough to advocate when he was unhappy and he’s needs weren’t being met.
It’s about how Yeowoon learned to give people he hated a chance because he gave Myungha a chance and he learned people are wonderful actually.
What Yeowoon needed was to give himself a chance.
And now they have each other and they’re both happy. But more importantly, they are choosing each other and choosing happiness. They no longer need each other to be happy but they get the choice and they choose each other.
#love for love's sake#feeling completely normal about this show#how am i supposed to watch anything else tonight#cause this show did something to me and i cant even explain what#the storytelling is just on a completely different level#this show makes me want to sing and laugh and never take a single moment for granted#but it also makes me want to cry and let myself feel what i need to feel#that ending really took its audience by the hand and led us into a warm embrace#it walked us right into the safest hug#and i am absolutely and completely fine#and for once i mean it
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
heres my oc for today, shī tóng, hes a guardian lion brought to life by a wealthy dragon household, but when his other half died (guardian lions almost invariably come in sets) he left to go wander. he was almost consumed by his own magic in grief until he came across two kids, one of whom had the ability to cancel out magic for a short time. long story short hes a dad now.
#the two kids are adults now they have their own stories and designs it was years and years ago that he adopted them but its important#why is he the first oc i share in ages? simple hes my fave recent finished piece fdsabhghsfhh#i liked how his hair looks and i LOVE his colorscheme#hes started out a little awful cause HE DIDNT KNOW HOW TO CARE FOR KIDS BUT HE DID HIS BEST AND THEY TURNED OUT GREAT#1 of the kids is an EXTREMLY flashy tattooist and part time con artist now and the other was a hitman with superspeeduntil he opened a bar#i love them i might post them soon too if i like the one art of diamond#lmk#mk art#my art#mk oc#mk ocs#lmk ocs#lmk oc#I DONT REMMEBR WHICH#MK#yea hes a furry look i couldnt help it what else am i supposed to do when hes fully a guardian lion#furry#yeah i should tag that for blocklists just in case#oc art#oc stuff
305 notes
·
View notes
Text
who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me
#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason#the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2#i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head#and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet#and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay#he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all#i have no idea what he has that i don't#but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about#not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me#not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act#im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough#for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away#from my sociopathic parents#and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough#but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d#exams#and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then#never cry#i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really#trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing#oh god this is now a ventpost#mes
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I just feel a kind of way about how my drawings are coming along
#halsin my love#the greenest of flags#honestly beginning to think i need to track down an irl lumberjack cause how else am i supposed to find gentle giants#i digress#wip#halsin#bg3#bg3 fanart#sketch#my art#art
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
What’s a genuinely sweet moment with Jo?
LOL
#snap chats#if you talkin rggjo then him meeting up with mitsu at the bar was kinda sweet#its my fave scene cause i still think him ambiguously forgetting his wallet is funny#but if we’re talking y7 uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhLOL#he really just a sad asshole#the notion he was ready to give up everything for masato once he realized the extent of his conditions kinda sweet. ig#ughhhh no wait jo being like ‘i couldnt kill arakawa how could i’ does make my kokoro go doki doki a lil..#thats pretty sweet….#another thing thats Weirdly sweet is just how insane he is about masato during chapter 1#yk scolding ichi for being late and saying killing him a thousand times wouldnt be enough if ichi left masato hanging#even more so because jo knows its masato’s actual birthday that day#even if no one else acknowledges it its sweet jo still wants masato’s real birthday to be good#following up on that its Again sweet how irate he gets at ichi over the notion ichi stole from masato#I MEAN. INSANE. LIKE CALM DOWN. but its the sentiment behind it considering Everything#all things considered jo can be a sweet guy… just violently lol…. love him….#wahhhhhhhh now im thinkin bout jo bruh how am i supposed to eat these pancakes now…
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
oki gussa mat hona main iske baad padhne jaa hi raha hoon but i saw one more ep and THAT LINE THAT YOU RANTED ABOUT gojo saying he won't hide yuji forever because no one should be robbed of their youth aa gayi and i was liKE VIO NE YE BOLA THA he's saying that bc he was robbed of his youth😭😭 also i love him he's so cool and hilarious he can't start a revolution because he thinks it's hopeless so he's mentoring young minds to make the world a better place? i love him 😭😭😭 also also THAT'S GETO??????? WHY TF DID HE BURN DOWN A RESTAURANT FULL OF PEOPLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM my pinterest board is filled with fanart of gojo amd geto kissing being domestic and let me tell you i am shook YOU SAID THEY WERE US 😭 also this is funnier than i expected it's so ridiculous gojo is making him watch shitty movies to control his cursed energy (?) and megumi is so fucking cute i want to kiss his face i want to punch him for not kissing yuji i want to adore him make yuji run his fingers thru his hair i want to fix his hair because it looks like such an adorable mess so i don't actually want to fix it and nobara is so real constantly done with the world and screaming and shoko made an appearance she's that doctor i think she was gonna do a postmortem but yuji woke up?? anyway i am invested we should watch an ep or two tonight 2 am maybe since they're only 20 mins
I love watching you lose your mind over them so much and NOPE see if the geto they show has a stitch on his head THAT IS NOT GETO OKAY (I can explain it to you in full detail if you want) IKR that trio are my babies I grew up with them oh god ivy do not get attached it won't be good for your heart AT ALL (i say this as if I am any better), shoko is mommy material, i have zero self respect when it comes to her I just love her so much even tho she barely has screentime in anime, and yep yuji woke up because he made a pact with sukuna (this will come into play later remember that vv imp) they don't disclose yet what pact they made idk babe it will take 3 or after 3:30 we can never be sure so don't we can always continue later but I am so glad you're loving it
#btw if you want me to explain how that pact caused yuji to wake up i can explain that#i want to be mad but i cannot because how else am i supposed to discuss them if it weren't for you 😭#ivy love
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinkin’ bout mingoo,,, n his canines </333
bonus: HE </33333
#gyugyu 🐶#i have romantic feelings for this man like i don’t think y’all understand 😞😓#browsing through pinterest n saving pins n making boards#he gives me all sorts of butterflies#blushing n shit 😖😩... hiding my face in my pillow n screaming internally cause i’m in love#if i bite him; will he bite me back? ☹️#nnnnnnnnnnn 🤧😫 i wannnnnnnnnnnnn him#sob#i feel insane#my heart hurts 💔💔💔#:((#I HATE THISSSSSS#need to daydream about him all the time or else i feel like i’ll fucking collapse#i adore him so much i love him i love him i love him#mangyu 😔 what have you done to me? 💔#how am i supposed to live like this like ☹️☹️
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hehe! I've had a really good birthday!!!
oh yeah. I need to update my profile!
#diary#personal#i had fun reading and relaxing. ive gotten a lot done lately and have been feeling well thanks to the help of coffee#...honestly i think thats my new miricle drug.#but yknow i feel super okay/good! idk. ive been having a lot of trouble lately but im just really happy today.#idk. i just love who i am i suppose? even with sensory issues pain and everything else going on i suppose.#idk. im excited to try and figure out what to do about it all tbh. havent felt like this for a while#im.still tired. and i really need help. but that coffee has been giving me enough energy to actual DO things#i havent been able to fold my laundry for months#barely able to even put in in the was tbh.#its been really rough.#really really rough. idk. i dont really share that part of things super often. being just exhausted and tired all the time#like. ive just had no energy to do anything. and if i force myself to it typically ends in a breakdown or something...#and if not im terrified ill push myself too far and cause one. haah. its very troublesome.#but. idk. its not something i really share bc i dont know how to explain or how others will.understand#unless its something youve experienced its not relatable.#its not really depression. its just. knowing your just one step away from being unable to do anything at all#and ive been teetering on that more and more lately. haah. this is why i was worried about working.#but. nothing wouldve changed even if i hadnt started. even on my best days ive always been one step away.#and to be honest its terrfying. im.scared in a way of living like this.#i love to learn. i have so much ambition. but it holds me back a lot.#to be honest ive been wondering if i need to get diagnosed with shit and go on disability#...but then i have days like this and its hard. because i know i cannot advocate for myself#haaah. how do you find all the resources for shit. translate your chinese to greek for everyone. and the energy to live?#you dont. thats why ive given up so so so many times before. but idk. i guess ive finally figured out that you can just pay someone#and idk. maybe im too hopeful in thinking that someone can organize my life for me until.i can?#this isnt even a joke. i wish it was. its terribly sad to be honest#i cant ask for help from my parents. and as much as i love my friend they have their own lives to live.#and honestly it really feels impossible to explain the depths of things like this to people sometimes.#thats sorta why i dont spend my money often unless i deem it nessisary. i dont know when i can earn more... haah. oh well.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i recognize that I should be excited for tomorrow cause Im going to an amusement park#however#i am going for my niece#she was supposed to be going with her dad BUT#Her dad then invited his sister and then she invited her friends and so my niece had no one to ride with#so she asked me if I would be willing to go and be her ‘ride buddy’#cause her dad wanted to ride with someone else#and I LOVE this amusement park (childhood memories) and I have plans this summer to take my niece - just the two of us#but the idea of having to spend the day with my obnoxious brother in law and his barbie doll of a sister is just so infuriating#and like HOW do you turn a day that was supposed to be a father/daughter thing into this??#but also - I dont want my niece going there without me now with that while crew incase they try and gang up on her or fuck with her head#anyway if youve read this far then imagine this for fun#a punk gnc aunt running around an amusement park with her emo niece to protect her from her jock dad and his sister#too bad its gonna be too hot for the jacket#its going up to 90 F tomorrow#screaming.to.the.gods
1 note
·
View note
Text
the worst day of the year actually
#pillow activities#I keep hoping every year that something noteworthy will happen to me and it never does#Not even my singular friend payed any attention to me. At all. I was ignored all day#I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch everyone else get the bare fucking minimum or more#While I never get anything from anyone. Ever.#I don’t even think my friend got me anything for Christmas either. Even though I gave them a gift#Nobody ever even asks me if I’m okay. Because they just assume “oh she’s always like that it’s fine”#I hate watching everyone else with their friends and partners and seeing how close they all are#I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it#And I’m not just talking about gifts I mean anything. Even a scrap of affection from anybody.#I never get it. I never get any of it.#I don’t feel loved by my friends I don’t feel wanted I don’t feel needed I don’t feel like anyone’s first choice#Im just a stand in for literally anybody else#I am not special to anybody. It’s not fair#Do I sound selfish at all. I mean not like I fucking care what anyone thinks about it but do i#Cause I hope someone thinks I do. That’d be really fucking funny. I’d hope they tell me anyway#I literally only get attention to any degree from my family and I’m so sick of it#Can someone just tell me what I’m doing wrong#Why does everyone stay away from me. What am I doing wrong#Why does nobody ever tell me. Am I supposed to just know.
0 notes
Text
YOU'RE AN ANGEL I'M A DOG OR YOU'RE A DOG AND I'M YOUR MAN YOU BELIVE ME LIKE A GOD I DESTROY YOU LIKE I AM
#Rant ahead I'm already sorry but yk. I'm actually not.#My mental health has been so bad in the last months and right now it feels like I will just never leave the stage of being a mentally ill#Loser. I know I've made so much progress over the years but right now everything hurts again and I feel more alone than ever. Maybe that's#Also why I made this blog but I'm not ready for that thought yet. I built such an amazing social circle with genuinely the most amazing#people ever around me and now I feel like I've destroyed everything again by just not answering them and completely isolating myself for#Fucking months and I can't tell if it's because my friends actually hate me now (which tbf I understand#I love them nonetheless.)#Or if it's just my bad mental state that's making me belive that#That and everything else that just seems to be going wrong is just so so much for me right now. I don't know how long I can do this anymore#But I also don't know any way out of this#I always end up like this and it's so annoying. How am I supposed to ever be a functional adult when talking to people is too much for me?#How am I ever supposed to believe someone can love me when I'm just the way I am#God I hate myself so much.#A few days a week I see one of my friends on the bus when we have to go to work and we chat until it's my stop. Its never more than 5#Minutes and it's always about school or work and because of that I feel more alone than ever. How am I ever supposed to built meaningful#Friendships If I know after next winter our conversations will just revolve around meaningless shit again. We used to joke about#Building a utopia through political action and we used to sit in a kitchen until 3 am and talk and talk and talk but it all felt so#Meaningful cause we were together and that made everything better. And now I talk to one of them if so happen to catch the bus at the same#Time and we talk about school. It fucking sucks#And it's all my fault
0 notes
Text
thinking abt how agar tum saath ho was my oh-god-i-hope-i-never-feel-like-that song and now it’s the oh-shit-that’s-where-things-are-and-will-stay song
#i love it here!#i know i can’t change anything but like#idk wish i’d never heard these sobgs in the first place#cause now they just randomly loop in my brain til i cry even though i’m actively avoiding listening to them??? help#like mitski hadestown and sad desi music are literally. earworming to no end as if i am not already wrecked enough HDJDHDDH#it’s been like. barely a month i thh#i think or two months i’m not sure but it feels like i’ve been stuck in this. gross heartbroken version of myself for a year. like time#feels so criminally warped HDJDHD it sucks? i feel so pathetic like#on the one hand i don’t wanna discount that the person that ends things can also feel a lot of pain and i know things aren’t sunshine on#either side but on the other hand i do feel like i’m the one who’s more. like. i’m not hurting more there’s not really a gauge for that but#i feel like i’m definitely more pathetic HDNDHDHD#like they must see me and think. holy shit. how did i ever love that mess. yknow. like#idk feeling gross! feeling. extremely. just repulsive? and unable to imagine any world where i have any appeal n the like. thought that mayb#maybe that’s what they see too when they look back has been. stuck in mu head on top of all else and it makes everything so mych worse#i wanna be good avout all this so bafly and i keep failing and i dont know what yo do with muself#everytime i try to do something thats supposed yo be good or healthy it feels so. horrible#ive didappointed so many people i jnkw that and i dont beed like. msuic and shit to remind me i already feel like im at rock bottom#neg#mano.mindtalk#tonight is. very not great GDJDHDHD
0 notes
Text
@tiesforged asked: ☎ / joel @ sarah !
NAME: daddy 💜
RINGTONE: n/a.
PICTURE:
LAST TEXT RECEIVED: late night again. u can order dinner. there's money in my top drawer
LAST TEXT SENT: good thing i didn't steal all of it last week
#tiesforged#* answered / s. miller.#i have a feeling he replied with 'what' and she replied with#how else am i supposed to pay for the drugs i sell#followed by#hahahaha kidding love you bye!#also i'm really bad at picking songs so i'm not doin a ringtone sry i love u#also this has been in my inbox for at least a year i think if not longer#decided to just start emptying my inbox i'm deeply sorry#also stole my answered header from my althea blog don't @ me#also not doing fancy layouts people use for these cause i'm LAZY#THESE TAGS ARE LONG SORRY BYE I LOVE YOU
1 note
·
View note
Text
.
#vent post#but in the tags bc i don't wanna be a burden more than i already am lmaoooo#i hate having feelings i hate having wildly changing emotions i hate not having control over myself#i am not allowed to feel this way about him and i need it to stop#i do not need to self sabotage#i do not want to cause any hurt or harm and i just end up hurting my own heart#how am i supposed to just stop having feelings???? but why why why are the feelings so strong#i am so lucky to be with someone who loves me so much and i adore him too!!!!!!#the love is still there and i don't think i feel it any less????#but i also have new feelings that i cannot avoid and have to admit exist bc i can't keep denying it#what the fuck am i supposed to do????? it hurts so much??????#i don't think there's anything i CAN do and i feel so stuck#i cannot think about anything else#i feel sad and confused and hurt and i'm so angry at myself#fuck dude i hate myself so much for this shit
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
jazziebutterfly
Welcome to Jazziebutterfly
potenzawellness
Potenza wellness
whatdoyoumean96
Tattoos
alienmary
Marie🌼
whatdoyoumean96
Tattoos