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twistedtranslations · 4 years ago

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Kalim Al Asim - Master Chef

You can unlock this story by getting Kalim’s SR Master Chef

Translation under the cut

Chapter 1

Cafetaria - Judging Venue

A little while before the cooking preparations start-

Kalim: Chef! Please take care of me!

Trey: Well, aren’t you excited?

Ghost chef: He certainly is. Were you perhaps looking forward to the Master Chef program?

Kalim: Yeah! I’ve always been told that “I’m not allowed to use kitchen knives or stoves because they’re dangerous”. That’s why I pretty much never cooked before. But they gave me the okay because a professional is instructing me today! So I’m super excited to try some real cooking!

Ghost chef: S-So, they forbid you to touch knives and stoves? You must’ve grown up in quite an overprotective household. Nevertheless, I am elated that you were looking forward to this program so much! I am eager to teach you. Let me list the meals we’re going to make today.

Kalim: We’re going to make biryani, right?

Ghost chef: Yes. Biryani is a seasoned rice with meat and all kinds of ingredients and spices. We steam curry and rice together, alternated on top of each other in layers. Originally it was a dish of the royal court, and is served a lot at festivals~

Kalim: That’s great! Seems like a perfect dish to welcome guests with.

Trey: Hey Kalim. I have one question… You’re always hosting the banquets. Have you never worked behind the scenes? If you never did, I understand why you wouldn’t know how to cook on purpose but…

Kalim: Now that you say it, Jamil always takes care of the preparations, not me. But this time I know that it’s the host's job to cook the meals to entertain the guests at the banquet. Seeing a chunk of meat roast in front of you, cutting stuff up… I really wanted to try it myself!

Trey: I see. So that’s why you took up Master Chef.

Kalim: Yeah. I can entertain more guests by learning more ways to delight them. By the way, you’re in charge of making the sweets at Heartslabyul’s tea parties, aren’t you? You seem like an expert at receptions, so if you have any secrets, please tell me.

Trey: I don’t think you should use our Unbirthday parties as reference. It’s basically just a gathering of people of our own. It’s different from your parties with guests from all over. And even if you were to use it as a reference… Don’t you want to try making sweets for divided preferences?

Kalim: Huh! So you do it like that. I just want to make everyone eat whatever I like… But yeah, there probably are some people who don’t like peculiar tasting herbs. I realized that next time I hold a feast, I should have a menu that everyone loves and not only ornate dishes. I just want to please as many people as I can!

Ghost chef: Indeed, the guests’s wishes are most important for hospitality. I too stand in the kitchen every day to see the smiles of our students. But enough chattering. It’s about time to cook!

Kitchen

Ghost chef: Kalim, there are enough ingredients to make this recipe three times. In the unlikely event that you fail, we’ll be fine. Relax and enjoy the process.

Kalim: Gotcha! I’ll do my best!

Ghost chef: First, we should cut the ingredients. I’ll have you cut the ginger, garlic, onions and tomatoes. Let’s start with the tomato. Put the flat side on the chopping board. That makes it easier to cut.

Kalim: The flat side… Like this?

Ghost chef: Yes! Now you take the knife with your dominant hand. Hold the tomato down with your other hand so it won’t move when cutting. Put the knife in front of you and press down the middle, while moving back and forth to cut it. Try to use big movements instead of force.

Kalim: Softly with big movements… Wow, I cut the tomato in half!

Ghost chef: Yes, well done! Continue cutting it like that.

Ghost chef: Okay, we finished cutting everything. Next up is…

Kalim: Hm? Hey, chef. There are still some uncut ingredients on the table, can’t we use them?

Ghost chef: Those were just spares in case you failed. You can add ingredients to your preference if you want to?

Kalim: Really? I’m going to use everything!

Ghost chef: E-Everything!? That’s about three times more than the recipe calls for. If you do that our next step might become problematic… Are you sure?

Kalim: Yeah. The more ingredients, the more our guests can eat to their heart's content. Okay, I’m cutting the rest!

Ghost chef: We have now finished cutting up all the spares. Next up is a vital part of biryani’s flavor… the curry! First, heat oil in a saucepan. Stir-fry the green cardamom, clove and cinnamon.

Kalim: Gotcha. ...Ah, wait! You know, I think it’d be splendid if we add more spices, considering we also added more ingredients.

Ghost chef: Right. If you added three times the ingredients, we should also add three times the spices…

Kalim: Great! Okay I’m adding all the spices!

Ghost chef: What?

/Pouring noise

Ghost chef: (H-HE POURED IN ALL THE SPICES~~!)

Kalim: Hahaha! I’m sure this will turn out great with all these ingredients and spices! Let’s continue cooking!

Chapter 2

Cafetaria - Judging Venue

Ruggie: Lalalalala~ Man, bein’ chosen as judge is so great for my food expenses. I’m so looking forward to it. I can already smell the aromas from the kitchen… BLERGH!! T-This intense smell… are those spices!? What the heck happened there!?

Kalim: Hey, Ruggie! So you’re the judge. That’s great! I got some biryani to serve.

Ruggie: No… I have to judge Kalim’s food…

Kalim: Here you go, bon appétit.

Ruggie: Bon appétit, he says… wait, why is there a mountain spilling off this large plate!? How many servings are there!?

Kalim: Uh, I used all the spare ingredients… I wonder how many servings there are? Anyway, it was a huge pot!

Ruggie: O-Okay. (Just as I expected, this seems spicy…) But not eating it would be a waste… I just gotta dig in!

/Chomp

Ruggie: HHHHHHHOOOOOT!! This is too spicy! Is this a punishment!?

Kalim: A-Ah? I wanted you to eat your fill, so I put in a lot of ingredients but did I overdo it? … Ruggie! You’re dripping in sweat after only one bite of the biryani! Hm… and Trey even told me that thinking about the preferences of the guests is important in hospitality. If you don’t like biryani I should just serve another…

Ruggie: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Eatin’ what’s served is my creed. Even if I take it home, I’ll finish it! I’m very happy that there are so many ingredients… I’ll be fine, I’ll eat it!

Kalim: H-Hey. This is the first time you made such a cornered expression!? To think I made such an inedible thing for you to persist like that… Sorry, Ruggie! I’m not used to cooking…

Ghost chef: Oh, calm down, you two! It’s fine to remake it instead of being pessimistic.

Kalim: If it weren’t that spicy you should be able to enjoy it right!?

Ruggie: Now that’s a wonderful idea!

Kalim: Okay, let me make something that you won’t regret! But how should I remake it?

Ghost chef: Right, how about this?

/Placing cutlery down

Ruggie: Hmpf… I’m so full! I’m satisfied! And the way you wrapped the spicy biryani in an omelet like omurice, and how you stewed it in coconut milk. That got me. Kalim, your do-overs were all amazing.

Kalim: Great! What a relief.

Ruggie: By the way, can I take the leftovers home?

Kalim: Of course!

Ruggie: Shshshs. I won’t have to worry about food for a few days with these!

Kalim: … While the biryani was a failure, I still learned a lot of skills and satisfied Ruggie. Thank you, chef!

Ghost chef: You’re welcome. Kalim, you honestly have a lot of potential. I want you to continue challenging your cooking.

Kalim: Really? I’ll do my best to learn many more recipes to please my guests!

Ruggie: Wait there, I think you should taste it as well...

#twisted wonderland #kalim al asim #trey clover #ruggie bucchi #personal story #translation

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lacrimosathedark · 3 years ago

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I’m just thinking about this right now because I’m seeing Undertale and Deltarune on my dash but like

As a teen I was (gasp) a filthy Homestuck fan. And all the pathetic shit that came with it. I loved the Striders and Karkat and Nepeta. I loved the weird and random and crazy storytelling and the simple replicable art style.

Most of all, though, I loved the music.

Weird part to like about it I guess, but gosh is Homestuck’s music awesome. I’m the type of person who needs background noise at All Times, and at one point that led me to listening to Homestuck’s soundtracks as I did chores.

I’d notice, “Huh. This ‘toby “Radiation” fox’ dude shows up a lot.” And that apparently stuck with me. Because when I heard there was a game coming out with music by toby fox, and the game itself made by him too? I immediately needed to see this game.

To say Undertale is important to me is a major fucking understatement. I love all of the characters. All of them. The music is, of course, absolutely gorgeous. The game is both hilarious and heartwarming.

And this was my first game with a nonbinary protagonist. Or any other nonbinary character (which there are a few others). This was when I was just figuring out that I was nonbinary (you can imagine how I flipped when I found out ‘there’s a word for that feeling!?’) and my character(s) and other characters being referred to as they and them with absolutely no fanfare...it meant a lot.

And the characters? I really can’t talk about how much I love them. Toriel is my mom in my heart. I have made her Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie and it makes me so happy. Napstablook is just the friggin cutest and their shy awkwardness was so relatable I love them. Sans and Papyrus can always make me laugh. Sans got my lore-brain spinning and Papyrus was always there and always supportive. Monster Kid is the most precious little doof and they deserve the world. Undyne is a fucking badass and when she realizes you aren’t awful she is just the most fun to be around. Temmie is great (and also check her animations out on Youtube she’s so frickin cute and amazingly talented just do yourself that favor) and the music reminds me of Rugrats for some reason. Alphys is a fucking weeb with social anxiety and boy do I ever relate to that. Muffet has the coolest design and one of the more challenging and fun battles and she’s just so gorgeous to my love of the gothic lolita aesthetic. Mettaton is a fucking romp. That reveal of the EX form is magnificent. Asgore--I admit I’m not the biggest fan of him, but I always felt bad for him. He was a good guy trying to do what’s right for his people and it was hard and it hurts that you have to fight him (also that was a fucking twist gotdam).

And Asriel...my frickin baby. He is my brother and I love him. I just want to give him hugs and snuggles and pet his head and make everything better and just ow my heart.

This man, this dog, made a whole-ass game. Not alone, but like, he did so much of it.

And he just keeps frickin going.

When Deltarune came out as a “Survey Program” I downloaded it and was blown away. I cannot tell you how much I loved it. I fell in love with Seam and I listened to The World Revolving and every possible remix on loop.

(Unfortunately I haven’t played Chapter 2 yet because right after I got Chapter 1, my computer died!

and the executive dysfunction didn’t help either. But I’ll get to it I swear)

AND THEN

So I hate SWSH for a number of reasons, (*coughdexcough*) but Pokemon has always been part of my life. And while not the best song in the soundtrack (which is Battle! Gym Leader and you can fight me on that) his contribution, the Battle Tower Battle Theme, is a bop and I love it.

AND THEN A-FUCKING-GAIN

I legitimately CANNOT WAIT for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet and to have toby’s music in my ear while my Fidough wrecks everyone with it’s Flower Power.

And then on top of this, this fucker plays into the meme culture because of course he does

SERIOUSLY

(in case the first pic is hard to read)

But just...idk man

He just keeps amazing me and every time I think about it I’m just...blown away.

I trust the dog.

I can’t wait to see all the things he’s still going to do.

#toby fox appreciation post #toby fox #Annoying Dog #Homestuck #Undertale #Deltarune #Pokemon #Pokemon SWSH #Pokemon ScarVi #tumblr sexyman

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chalabrun · 4 years ago

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hinata: a deep dive (meta)

As it can be expected, many girls in Naruto have development that often takes some number of deep dives to find. Hinata is certainly no exception to this rule, but with this meta, my hope is that I can suss out some of that hidden development and her accomplishments and list them here.

Hinata: A troubled past

As many of us know from canon, Hinata's past was troubled and fraught with difficulties.

Ch. 102, when Hiashi is engaging the toddling Hinata in a spar and manifesting bloodlust during.

Ch. 78, wherein Hinata is officially disinherited from the main branch heirdom.

Growing up as the main heiress of the Hyuga clan, and eldest daughter of the main branch head, Hinata was under tremendous pressure from her father to exceed. Compared to even her younger sister, her junior by five years, Hiashi looked down upon her. In chapter 102, in the above panels, it could even be implied that Hiashi was enraged by her, pushing a young Hinata to the point that her uncle Hizashi tried to interfere, but was punished for it when he activated the clan's juinjutsu.

Yet, this wasn't the only hardship Hinata faced.

Ch. 102

When Hinata was three years old, while Kumogakure's Head Ninja had been visiting Konoha on matters of diplomacy at the declaration of an armistice between both villages, she was almost kidnapped by this self-same ninja. What would eventually be known as the Hyuga Affair in Kumogakure would result in Hizashi dying in exchange for acting as Hiashi's body double as to satisfy the then nullified demand for Hiashi and his Byakugan that the clan's juinjutsu destroyed in Hizashi upon his death.

First Databook, Head Ninja of Kumogakure (Scan & Translation)

This would go on to lead to a whole host of issues between Hinata and Neji that notably came to light during the Chunin Exams.

Ch. 78, where Lee explains it in more detail.

As we learn from the exposition of others in chapter 78, not only was there existing turmoil between the main and cadet branches, but that it manifested in the rookies' generation as Neji and Hinata's one-sided conflict; of Neji blaming the main branch for both his father's death and being consigned to being a proverbial slave to the main branch.

Ch. 80

And as Neji would go to to explain, all of the former would result in a girl bent and bowed by both the immense pressure of her clan, the strain of conflict in her own family, and the high expectations she couldn't yet meet. Neji even went on to describe it all in visceral detail during their preliminary fight.

Ch. 78

As we can see from chapter 78, Neji manages to ruthlessly disseminate Hinata's character just by examining her body language and reflecting on her past, and while much of it seems brutally true, it doesn't mean that it's the whole truth, either.

Hinata: Growing from her pain

Despite all the clear hardship that Hinata faced, that doesn't mean she did nothing to grow. As we come to see in much the same arc, she faced these challenges in her own way.

Ch. 79

Despite all the brutal things Neji said to Hinata, it wasn't enough to kill her confidence. Or, her courage and resolve to keep enduring. And, damn does she endure.

Ch. 79, when they engage in close, melee combat.

Ch. 79, when Kurenai reflects on the beginning of Hinata's changes.

Something I see criticized often about Hinata is that she's a hopeless fangirl much in the way Sakura supposedly was over Sasuke. However, something I think that should be clarified is that, coming from a nigh abusive home life that she did, Naruto was her source of hope. And frankly, I don't think it's a deficit to her character at all. Naruto helped inspired her, and her growth showed because of it.

Ch. 79

As shown near the fight's climax, Hinata keeps standing up and trying to fight despite how seemingly hopeless the situation is. Even though Neji had debilitated her with severe injuries, some borderline fatal, she kept relenting because of her admiration and inspiration she found in Naruto.

Ch. 98

And as it would show in the period after Hinata's recovery, she made the full extent of her admiration known; and in doing so, she speaks not as some obsessive fangirl, but a downtrodden girl thanking her greatest source of inspiration so she could rise above it. Something I don't think makes her obsessive at all.

But as the series would continue on, the fruits of this growth shows the most in the second part.

Hinata: The lioness of the Hyuga Clan

As the future would come to prove, Hinata did grow into the inspiration that Naruto gave her, enough to do the impossible and attempt to save the boy she loved from an impossibly powerful enemy.

Ch. 437, when Hinata faced off against Pein, one of the most powerful villains in the series after the likes of Madara, Obito, or Kaguya.

But, it went beyond that.

Ch. 540

Ch. 632

Ch. 526

As demonstrable throughout the war arc, by both her clan's reacceptance of her and fighting alongside Naruto, Hinata showed just how far she was willing to take a shared ideal in order to fight at the side of the one she loved and admired more than anything, that inspired her to be strong and endure.

Now, in terms of complete strength and excelling as a kunoichi, this brilliant meta by silalcarin proves that Hinata excelled in other ways, even more than her utterly gifted cousin, Neji.

Hinata: What the databooks say

Village: Konohagakure

Rank: Genin

Ninja Registration Number: 012612

Birthday: December 27 (12 years old, Capricorn)

Height: 147.cm Weight: 37.9 kg Blood type: A

Personality: Shy, withdrawn

Favourite Food: Hors d’oeuvres, cinnamon rolls

Least favourite food: Crab, prawn

Interests: Pressed flowers

Graduated from Ninja Academy at age 12

Currently undertaking the chuunin examination

Mission Experience

D-rank: 5

C-rank: 3

B-rank: 0

A-rank: 0

S-rank: 0

Statistics

Ninjutsu: 1.5

Taijutsu: 2.5

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 2.5

Strength: 1

Speed: 2

Stamina: 1.5

Hand Seals: 2

Total Ability: 3

Latent Potential: 4

Luck: 2

Hinata’s fighting ability was found lacking by the Hyuuga Clan. But her latent potential is quite conspicuous, so development is to be expected in the future.

“Because… This is my Nindou too”

The kind and gentle dancing fighter with feelings for Naruto

Although she is a heir to the renowned Hyuuga Main House, she is full of compassion, and dislikes competition and fighting: such is Hinata’s personality. Currently, her father has given up of her, and she is assigned to difficult missions as a Genin. Even being in that dire situation hasn’t broken her, she hasn’t lost that kindness of hers, and that’s because Naruto was there, inside her heart. And now, Hinata is strengthening herself, soundly and steadily.

Hinata is a shy and withdrawn person who can’t do anything in front of her dear Naruto. Something she’s been constantly wishing to change about herself.

Timidity and hesitation, unease and nervousness… An ebbing and flowing love story

[Attack]

Hinata is in love with Naruto, but regardless, she can’t take a step forward. However, she’s able to pluck up her own brand of courage sometimes, as proved by that “attack” of hers. Because that’s her Way of the Ninja…?!

She can’t even look Naruto in the eyes as she hands him the ointment to treat the injuries he’s received during the Chuunin exam, but she’s put all her strength into this…!

[Naruto and Herself]

There’s a definite reason behind Hinata’s passion for Naruto. She wants “to become like him”. Shackled by the strict laws of the Hyuuga clan, and further weakened by her inferiority complex towards her younger sister, Hinata is always seeking strength and power.

Hinata is never assertive about anything, something she tends to hate about herself.

When she was fighting Neji, no matter how many times she was struck down, she would think of Naruto and stand up…!

Hinata admires and esteems Naruto. But he is totally clueless about those feelings.

The one she admires taught her about the courage to stand up!!

Chuunin Exam: Third Preliminary Test

[Her fight against Neji]

The time had finally come to fight against Neji, from the Branch House, and hater of the Main House. Hinata disliked conflict, despite which she fought desperately in order to change herself. But as expected, she was no match for Neji, whom people refer to as the strongest in the Hyuuga Clan. [Missing sentence]

Naruto is throwing taunts at Neji. Hinata is able to draw courage from his cheering…

A scene where she even fights on par with the great Neji. The blood of the Hyuuga also flows is Hinata’s veins!

But she yields before Neji’s Gentle Fist, and gets wounded and beaten down several times over…

Earnest feelings are stronger than any weapon…

- First Databook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

Village: Konohagakure

Rank: Genin

Ninja Registration Number: 012612

Birthday: December 27 (13 years old, Capricorn)

Height: 148.3 cm Weight: 38.2 kg Blood Type: A

Personality: Shy, withdrawn

Favourite food: Soft bean-jam, cinnamon Rolls

Least favourite food: Crab, prawn

Favourite word: Self-confidence

Interests: Pressed flowers

Graduated from the Ninja Academy at age 12

Promoted to chuunin at age –

Mission Experience

D-rank: 5

C-rank: 3

B-rank: 0

A-rank: 0

S-rank: 0

Statistics

Ninjutsu: 1.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 3

Strength: 1

Speed: 2

Stamina: 1.5

Hand Seals: 2

“I must…do my best too…”

Turn a pure heart into strength…

Hinata passively gave in to everything, but with the support of Naruto’s cheering, she had a fierce battle with Neji, and matured greatly. There is still a lot of her that is not sufficient as the child of the Hyuuga Main House, but indomitable strength is added to her original pure heart, and little by little, but steadily, Hinata progresses ahead… She wishes that she could move even one step closer towards the back of Naruto, her idol…

Hinata, always feeling the same towards Naruto. Will the day come when she can face him directly?

- Second Databook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

- Third Databook, Hinata's entry (Scans)

Fourth Databook, Hinata's entry (Scans)

Hinata Hyuuga The Sunflower Who Hid Love and Admiration for Naruto in Her Heart, and Bloomed Beautifully

Hinata was born as the eldest daughter of the Hyuuga clan’s main house. Having struggled since childhood with the pressure of being “the next leader of a noble clan,” as well as with her own withdrawn nature, she admired Naruto’s “strength,” and decided to adhere to his nindou. Now, having matured as a shinobi and as a woman, Hinata’s feelings for Naruto cause her to shake… Before: Caption of panel of near-beaten Hinata from chuunin exams: I never go back on my word. Hinata resolves to adhere to the same nindou as Naruto…!! Caption of panel where Hinata uses hakke kuushou against the Juubi: She uses her juuken palm to release air pressure. This is taijutsu handed down by the Hyuuga clan. Caption of panel where Hinata uses hakke rokujuuyon shou: The secret juuken technique “hakke rokujuuyon shou.” She masters it with the courage to step out beyond her limits. “Byakugan” The rare “kekkei genkai” inherited only by the Hyuuga clan. It boasts a 360-degree range of vision and the ability to see clearly for hundreds of meters, and is able to see through opponents’ chakra networks. Caption for sketch of Hinata with activated byakugan: When her byakugan is activated, Hinata’s facial expression becomes sharper. Before: Hinata shows her byakugan in her death match with Neji. Feelings Towards Naruto Since her days at the academy, Hinata has been attracted to the “strength” that Naruto possesses. That admiration eventually changed into the desire to be by Naruto’s side, and also became the source of Hinata’s growing confidence. Before: Caption for panel from chapter 98: He unintentionally leaves her dazed with his impulsive “I like you.” Before: Caption for panel from 615: During the ninja war, Hinata grew into someone who could support Naruto in a predicament and stand as his equal. Art of Hinata Wedding clothes Caption at lower right: Headdress. Her hair is rolled up in a turban-like structure. Middle caption: An Ootsutsuki wedding dress, complete with a veil on her head. Left caption: Hinata wears a skirt while not on a mission.

- Seventh Databook, Hinata entry (Scan & Translation)

Boruto Moviebook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

Hinata: Databook jutsu files

- Kekkei Genkai, Supplementary, All ranges - User(s): Hyuuga Neji, Hyuuga Hinata

The heritage of the Hyuuga Clan, the white eyes that see through everything!!

The Hyuuga Clan is a distinguished family, and one of Konohagakure’s two brightest jewels, the other being the Uchiha Clan. The Kekkei Genkai that circulates within House Hyuuga is the Byakugan. Upon using Byakugan, the caster sees right through immediate obstacles, even catching a glance upon things situated remotely ahead of them.

But Byakugan possesses an even more astonishing ability. It can also distinguish the inner body’s acupuncture network through which chakra circulates, and the apertures through which it is released outside the body, the tenketsu. Because of that ability, the Hyuuga are praised as the clan which has the most outstanding ability. That said, this is also the reason why they have accumulated tragedies throughout their history…

When Byakugan is activated, it is so powerful it causes the veins around the caster’s eyes to protrude!

How exactly does chakra circulate inside the body…? If one has the power of the Byakugan, even such a thing can be understood just like that, with absurd ease.

- First Databook, Hinata's entry (Scan & Translation)

- Taijutsu, Kekkei Genkai, Offensive, Defensive, Supplementary, Close range - User(s): Hyuuga Hinata

Strong will held in the fists!! Its form is double lion heads!!

A secret high-level Gentle Fist technique, taught only to the Main House of the Hyuuga Clan. By changing the shape of chakra released from both hands, [the user] greatly increases reach and destructive power. The arms become entirely like lions which drain the chakra network of those they touch.

Because it will fail at even the slightest mistake in chakra control, it is extremely difficult to learn this ability, which is a feat that requires the Byakugan.

It can be used to increase the power of Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms.

- Fourth Databook, Gentle Step: Twin Lion Fists entry (Scans & Translation)

Hinata: Full jutsu list & stats, etc.

To add to this, the jutsu part of this list are from more than just the manga; they include the anime, movies, and games!

Jutsu:

Barrage of Gentle Fists

Chakra Transfer Technique

Eight Trigrams Aerial Attack

Eight Trigrams Aiki Palm

Eight Trigrams Lion Palm

Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven

Eight Trigrams Palms Revolving Heaven: Sever

Eight Trigrams Palms Twin Handed Back

Eight Trigrams Palms Vacuum Heaven

Eight Trigrams Sect Palm Wave

Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms

Eight Trigrams Spirit Sixty-Four Palms

Eight Trigrams Thirty-Two Palms

Eight Trigrams Twin Lions Crumbling Attack

Eight Trigrams Vacuum Lion Palm

Eight Trigrams Vacuum Palm

Eight Trigrams Vacuum Wall Palm

Four-Corner Sealing Barrier

Gentle Fist Art: Exorcism

Gentle Fist

Gentle Phoenix Spiralling Twin Lion Fists

Gentle Step Spiralling Twin Lion Fists

Gentle Step Tailed Beast Twin Lion Fists

Gentle Step Twin Lion Fists

Gentle Step Twin Palms

Giant Insect Fang: Sixty-Four Palms

Hundred Furious Palms

Hyūga: Great Revolving Heaven

Hyūga Great Combo Palm

Mystical Palm Technique

Palm Bottom

Protecting Eight Trigrams One Hundred Twenty-Eight Palms

Protecting Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms

Water Needle

White Haze Heavenly Dance

Wide Healing

Tools:

Hyūga Clan Secret Ointment

Stats:

Missions completed:

10 D-rank

14 C-rank

8 B-rank

1 A-rank

0 S-rank

Academy grades:

Taijutsu = A

Cooperation = A

Classroom attitude = A

Ninjutsu = B

Genjutsu = B

Positivity = F

Closing thoughts

As I've tried to list in detail, Hinata not only has a lot of in-depth characterization, development, and growth as a kunoichi and member of the Hyuga clan, but extreme promise as a character and love interest of the protagonist. Yet, there's far more to her than her relationships, which I hope I've shown here (even though this doesn't even touch on everything, by far)!

#hinata #hinata hyuga #hinata hyuuga #naruhina #pro hinata #pro hinata hyuga #my meta

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angelofthequeers · 5 years ago

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Minty Fresh, Strawberry Sweet, Cinnamon Spice: chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Hey, @zenniaphoenix - I’m your backup @mlsecretsanta gifter and when I saw Adrigaminette, I had to snap it up! This first chapter can technically stand alone, since the rest of this fic was inspired by writing this chapter, so you don’t have to read the later chapters once I post them. But this one’s all for you!

Chapter 2 | AO3 link

“Which flavours for these two?” André sings. He gestures to Kagami and Adrien. “Orange and peppermint, a perfect pairing that’s always a success; nothing can turn it into a mess! And for you two –” He waves his hand at Adrien and Marinette, “– blackberry and peppermint, an explosive mix! That’s a fact, but oftentimes it’s the opposites that attract!” Then he looks at Marinette and Kagami and finishes, “Orange and blackberry, quite unusual, it’s true! Not the most obvious but it works for you two! So, what will it be?”

“You pick,” Kagami says to Marinette. “I don’t really get what he’s saying, anyway.”

“Yeah, you pick, Marinette!” Adrien says with a smile that scorches Marinette’s insides. “We trust you!”

Orange and peppermint? Blackberry and peppermint? Orange and blackberry? Which one should Marinette choose? Which two out of the three of them would work best together?

Two out of three flavours? Or people? whispers a nasty little voice. Marinette shakes her head to clear it.

“Can’t you find a blend for the three of us?” she says desperately. André sighs and shakes his head, while Adrien furrows his brow and looks between Marinette and Kagami.

“I can, but too many flavours mixed together may throw off the delicate balance,” André says.

“Neapolitan ice cream exists,” Kagami says before Marinette can tear her hair out trying to decide which pairing would work best. “And from what I gather, the flavours you listed refer to us. Does that mean that we’re solely one flavour, or are there others that could work for us?”

“Besides, orange and peppermint?” Adrien wrinkles his nose. “Have you ever brushed your teeth and then had orange juice? I’m guessing I’m the mint and Kagami’s the orange.”

“Implying that we wouldn’t work well together,” Kagami says, raising her eyebrow at André. “Even though you said that that pairing is always a success.”

“Maybe we just need a good flavour to balance out the orange and peppermint?” Adrien says. Marinette follows their conversation like one might follow a tennis volley, with her head whipping from Adrien to Kagami and then back to Adrien. “Or maybe our triple blend is made up of entirely different flavours?”

“Well, I think Adrien’s definitely peppermint,” Marinette says. “Delicious with a hidden kick!” Then she squeaks and covers her face and babbles, “Why did I say that, why did I say that –”

“Because you’re totally right,” Kagami says. “Adrien is peppermint. And I feel like you would be more strawberry than blackberry, since you’re fresh and sweet but also have a hint of acid to you. I’m just unsure as to how orange refers to me.”

“Are you even a fruit at all?” Adrien says, while heat floods Marinette’s face at Kagami’s description of her.

“Y-Yeah,” Marinette forces out. “You’re unconventional. You can intimidate people at first but once they get to know you, they realise just how much they love you.”

Kagami’s cheeks flush pink at that, although Marinette’s not in any hurry to pause and examine the implications of what she’d just said in wake of Kagami’s words about her first. Not if she wants to keep what few brain cells that she has left around these two, especially after the morning she’d just shared with them.

“So, a flavour that’s unconventional and a little intimidating but also amazing,” Adrien says. He and Marinette exchange looks.

“Cinnamon!” they burst out together. Kagami’s eyebrows rise.

“Cinnamon?” she says.

“Yeah!” Marinette says. “I mean, you’ve got cinnamon eyes! And just like Adrien’s peppermint, you’ve got a kick to you! Oh, and you’re not as widely-picked as him but the people who pick you know exactly what they’re doing!”

“Plus, cinnamon can intimidate some people,” Adrien says. “Remember the cinnamon challenge floating around on the internet?”

“Do I?” Marinette snorts. “People are ridiculous. But hey, I bet we can handle cinnamon!”

“Really?” Kagami says with twitching lips.

“Yeah!” Marinette nods and turns to face André, beaming widely now that she doesn’t have to make a choice that’ll impact the love lives of her and her friends. “Each flavour balances the others out! Peppermint, strawberry, and cinnamon, please, André!”

“Hmm.” André strokes his chins as he regards the three of them. “André hadn’t thought of those flavours, that much is true. Perhaps this really is the blend that represents you!” He scoops out a ball of pink strawberry ice cream, followed by one of green peppermint, then pale brown cinnamon to top it off. After sticking three spoons into it, he hands it to Adrien and beams at them.

“So,” Adrien says as the three of them walk off with their ice cream. “You think they’ve figured out where we’ve gone?”

“I don’t see why they would assume that we’d gone to get soulmate ice cream,” Kagami says. Her eyes light up when Adrien offers her a spoonful of peppermint ice cream, and she hums and closes her lips around the spoon. “Mmm. You taste good, Adrien.”

“O-Oh. Thanks,” says a red-faced Adrien. Marinette forces out a laugh, though she can’t deny that the little sweet romantic interaction between Adrien and Kagami has left a sour pit in her gut. Even if her ice cream flavour is in there as well.

“You have to try it, Marinette!” Kagami takes the spoon from Adrien and scoops up a little of the peppermint for Marinette to try. Okay, so Kagami’s feeding her Adrien ice cream, and – no, Marinette, don’t think about it, not unless you want to freak out –

“Tastes just as good as the last time I had it!” Marinette blurts out after swallowing her mouthful of ice cream. Then the blood drains from her face at the realisation of what she’d just said.

“Wait…I was your ice cream?” Adrien looks like he’s been hit over the head by an akuma, although hopefully that’s due to bewilderment and not revulsion. Hopefully. But he’d agreed to a three-way ice cream…right?

“It makes sense,” Kagami says. “Marinette, tell him.”

“But – I – I can’t –”

“Don’t hesitate!” Kagami throws out an arm to stop Adrien and Marinette in their tracks, then whirls around until she’s nose-to-nose with Marinette. “Remember what I told you at the ice rink? I never hesitate. How do you expect him to consider you as an option if you haven’t made yourself one?”

“Marinette…has a crush on me?” says a slowly-blinking Adrien.

“Hush.” Kagami jabs a finger at him. “Be courageous, Marinette. No more torturing yourself with what-ifs. If you want something, go for it!”

“Why are you even encouraging me?” Marinette decides that it’s finally time to address the elephant in the room. “I thought you wanted Adrien? Doesn’t encouraging me to tell him that I love him defeat that purpose?”

To Marinette’s astonishment, Kagami just throws back her head and laughs.

“Of course I want Adrien,” Kagami says. “As do you. And I know Adrien wants both of us.”

“Wait, what?” Adrien says. “I don’t – but my – Ladybug!”

Marinette and Kagami turn to stare at Adrien, although Marinette’s reacting out of sheer shock, so she’s not sure what Kagami’s motivating emotion is. Adrien’s in love with her? Well, Ladybug, but her?

“Ladybug’s been your target this whole time?” Kagami says. “Adrien, how in the world could you have a lasting relationship with her? She’s a superhero. You’re a civilian, and a famous one at that.”

“She’d never want to put you in danger like that, no matter how much she might like you,” Marinette rasps around her swollen tongue. “You couldn’t go on real dates with her. You’d have to be stealthy to avoid Hawkmoth finding out. If she won’t even date Chat Noir…maybe she’s too careful to put anyone in Hawkmoth’s sights like that. Maybe she’s too scared to endanger someone else.”

“Focus on what’s in front of you,” Kagami says. “I like you. Marinette just confessed that she likes you.”

Marinette lets out a high-pitched squeak at the realisation that Kagami’s right, she’d just admitted in front of Adrien that she loves him –

“But I can’t choose between you two!” Adrien grabs at his golden hair with his free hand. “You both mean so much to me! I don’t want to hurt either of you!”

“I think the solution here is obvious.” Kagami points at the ice cream. “Those are our flavours, are they not? We worked together and found a blend that encompassed all three of us. You and I work well together. You and Marinette work well together. And Marinette and I could possibly work well together too. There’s nothing stopping you from dating us both.”

Both Adrien and Marinette let out choked gasps at Kagami’s words and try to recover at least one brain cell between them.

“Is that even a thing?” Marinette finally blurts out, recovering just seconds before Adrien.

“As far as I’m aware,” Kagami says. “And even if others don’t accept it, I refuse to allow them to dictate my life. I’m very much interested in Adrien. It’s very likely that I might also develop feelings for you. You’ve been in love with Adrien for a while now. And I know for a fact that Adrien likes not only me but also you, no matter how much he claims that his heart belongs to Ladybug.”

“H-How can you be sure?” Adrien stammers, while Marinette has no doubt that her face would be as red as Ladybug’s suit if she could look in a mirror.

“Marinette was your concern at the ice rink. You always manage to find a way to talk about her when we’re together.” Kagami ticks off her list on her fingers. “The way you’ve been looking at her all morning and even back during the movie premiere. Even the way you’re conflicted between me and her. If you truly didn’t have feelings for her, you wouldn’t be agonising over choosing between us. Your concern would be to avoid hurting her while choosing me, not trying to figure out which one of us you want.”

“But…I like you, Kagami,” Adrien says in a little lost voice. Marinette resists the urge to grab the ice cream out of his hand and suffocate herself with it, although she’s not sure whether that’s out of jealousy or sheer why can’t he get it?

“I know you do,” Kagami says. “And you like Marinette. That’s why I’m not telling you to choose. I know you can’t choose.”

“Kagami –”

“Adrien. Stop. Look me in the eye and tell me that this isn’t the perfect solution to your problem.”

“I-I’d be happy with it,” Marinette croaks. “I mean – well – if it comes down to it, I’ll step aside if it makes Adrien happy. But I don’t mind, well…sharing you with Kagami. And maybe I could like Kagami in that way at some point? I think the seeds are there. I’m just trying not to think about it right now, so my head doesn’t explode…”

Kagami smiles at Marinette, causing brilliant warmth to erupt in her stomach and trickle through her like a hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day. Oops. Can she not start to catch feelings for Kagami when she’s currently wrestling with her feelings for Adrien?

“You’d give up a chance to be with me just to make me happy?” Adrien says, staring at Marinette with wide eyes. The heat in her body surges to her face.

“Y-Yeah,” she says. “You deserve to be happy, Adrien. I’ll always do whatever I need to do to make sure of that, even if I have to let you go. Just like I helped you with Kagami at the ice rink.” She ducks her head and whispers, “I l-l-love you too much to keep you to myself if it’d make you miserable.”

“I truly do believe that you would’ve chosen the orange and peppermint combination if you’d been forced to do so,” Kagami says dryly. “Why do you think I spoke up? You’re my only friend aside from Adrien, and I refuse to hurt you for a boy. If we can both have him, I’m happy to share.”

“I thought you weren’t about second place,” Marinette teases weakly. When she looks up, Kagami’s lips are twitching.

“It’s hardly second place if I’m not missing out,” Kagami says. “Not only would I have Adrien, but I’d also have the knowledge that his other partner is the only other person I can think of who’s worthy of him, and vice versa. I like to think of it as equal first place.”

Marinette shoots a look at Adrien, who’s practically got visible cogs turning in his head as he processes what had just happened over the past few minutes. She refuses to let the hope break free from where it’s straining in her heart, though. It’s Adrien’s choice and she’s not going to try and influence him in any way, no matter her feelings on the matter.

“I think…” Adrien takes a deep breath. Both Marinette and Kagami lean in closer. “I really like that idea. But…I think I need a bit longer to wrap my head around it. And to push my feelings for Ladybug aside. Like, I know we won’t ever be together, but my heart doesn’t really know that yet, and I don’t want to hurt either of you by jumping in when I’m not ready. Especially because I do like both of you. I’ve liked Kagami for a while now and Marinette…” Adrien scratches the back of his neck with a nervous grin. “You’ve always been more than a friend to me. I guess I just didn’t realise it until now, when you became a possibility. I always felt like there was something…well, off between us. That you’ve never liked me but just acted like you did to keep the peace.”

“Of course,” Kagami says immediately, while Marinette lets out the breath that she’d been keeping locked in her lungs. “This isn’t a decision to rush into. But don’t take too long to decide, Adrien. Your indecision could hurt us.”

“And that’s not true at all!” Marinette says. “You’ve always been a friend to me, Adrien. I’ve just…um…I’ve…”

“Go on,” Kagami says, grabbing Marinette’s hand and squeezing it. “I’ve made my feelings for Adrien clear, so now is your chance to clear the air and be completely honest.”

Marinette takes a deep breath, drawing courage from the warmth radiating from where Kagami’s bare skin is touching hers. She’s already told Adrien that she loves him. He likes her back. She can do this!

“I’ve loved you ever since you gave me your umbrella,” Marinette whispers. “When you showed me that you weren’t just another rich jerk like Chloé. When I got a glimpse at the sweet, kind, lonely boy that was nothing like her. And ever since then, all I’ve seen is that you’re loyal and loving and brave and you just…you care so deeply, even when other people don’t deserve it. How could I not love you?”

Adrien just stares at her, his mouth hanging open and his cheeks dusted with rosy pink. Oh. Oh. Had Marinette really just said all that to him? She squeaks and covers her flaming face, but Adrien’s quick to grab her wrists and squeeze without trying to force her hands away.

“No! No!” he says. “Don’t get embarrassed! Please! Now I get why you’ve been so weird around me.”

“You should probably apologise for being so cute,” Kagami deadpans. Marinette uncovers her face just in time to see Adrien roll his eyes at Kagami in response.

“Sorry. Anxiety issues,” Marinette says in a high voice. “Not that you made me anxious! No, uh, it was just…you know, me working myself up to ask you out all these times and then freaking out because what if you rejected me or thought I was a weirdo and never wanted to talk to me again or even thought I was one of your crazy fangirls –”

“Marinette.” Kagami rests her hands on Marinette’s shoulders and squeezes. “Breathe. It’s okay. Adrien hasn’t rejected you.”

“Actually, I think I just realised what an amazing girl you are,” Adrien says softly as he looks down at the ground. “When you said all that stuff about me…wow, Marinette. I had no clue that was how you saw me. And I’ve never had anyone say that sort of thing to me. It’s usually always just about how cute or hot I am, or how they want to have my babies, or just fake compliments to get something from me.”

“I mean, you are cute!” Marinette blurts out. “But that’s not all you are! I hate that that’s all people see in you…”

“When you’ve been forced to navigate a bunch of rich people all your life, you tend to develop a sixth sense for sniffing out false compliments and fakeness in general, even if you can’t usually read people well,” Adrien says. “I didn’t even know you liked me until now, but what you said about me…it’s the truth. I can feel it.”

“I could never lie to you about something like that,” Marinette says to the ground.

“Well, you don’t need to get anxious around me from now on.” Adrien reaches out slowly, giving Marinette time to back away as she looks up, but when she nods, he pulls her into a loose hug, making sure to hold the ice cream out to avoid damaging it. “Thanks for being honest, Marinette. And thanks for telling me all that stuff. I think I needed to hear it. I’ll become your slave for life if you keep saying nice things about me.”

“We’re two socially awkward rich teenagers who thrive on attention,” Kagami says with twitching lips. “You’re the perfect balance for us, Marinette. That’s why I’m willing to share Adrien with you but not with anyone else. You bring out the best in us.”

Marinette nods into Adrien’s shoulder, then pulls back so she can grab the spoon from Kagami, scoop up a little bit of each flavour of ice cream, and hold it out for Adrien to taste, trying her hardest not to turn into a beetroot when his lips close around the spoon. His gorgeous green eyes light up.

“That’s so good!” he says once he’s swallowed the ice cream mix. “The strawberry’s nice and sweet with, like, this hint of something more, but you’d have to try more of it to get there. The cinnamon’s got a nice spicy kick but it’s also got a hint of sweetness! And the peppermint’s minty with this little bit of a peppery aftertaste. They really do balance each other out!”

“Just like we balance each other out,” Kagami says with a smirk. She winks at Marinette, who giggles and ducks her head with warm cheeks. But before Marinette can take a scoop of ice cream for herself, there’s the sound of screaming from the next street over, followed by gleeful cackling.

“The love of this city is so delectable!” says a male voice. Adrien immediately jumps in front of Marinette and Kagami and starts to shepherd them away from the voice.

“And these lovebirds! What a treat!” a female voice adds.

“You think it’s another double akuma like Oblivio?” Marinette says in a hushed voice.

“Oblivio?” Kagami says.

“Our two best friends. Alya and Nino.” Adrien drops the ice cream, letting it splatter on the ground so that he can grab Marinette and Kagami by the hands and take off running. They round the corner just in time to avoid being spotted by the…uh, head that floats around the corner?

“I cannot wait to devour the love of Ladybug and Chat Noir!” The male voice comes from the hideously stretched face on the pink floating head. But then the head flips a hundred and eighty degrees to reveal a woman’s face that’s equally as grotesque.

“What a lovely meal they’ll make, André!” the woman says. Marinette sucks in a breath as she, Kagami, and Adrien watch from around the corner of the building behind which they’re taking shelter.

“Mr and Mrs Bourgeois?” she hisses. She jumps when Adrien drops her hand and takes off running down the street.

“I’m gonna go find Ladybug and Chat Noir!” he calls. “Hide, both of you! I don’t want anything to happen to you!”

“Go after him, Kagami!” Marinette cries. “Trust me, hiding’s one of my best skills!”

Kagami grabs Marinette’s hands. “Don’t get caught! And don’t you dare do anything stupid!” Then she drops Marinette’s hands and sprints after Adrien. Marinette ducks behind a nearby car and opens her purse to let Tikki dart out.

“Time to transform!” Marinette says. “Tikki, spots on!”

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic #heart hunter #loveater #adrigaminette #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #kagami tsurugi #soulmate ice cream #ml polyamory #love confessions #adrien needs all the love #so does kagami #and marinette #THEY ALL DO OKAY #ml secret santa

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badwolfwrites-sometimes · 5 years ago

Text

Drawn Together: Chapter 16

I may or may not have forgotten to post this chapter here for a while... Anyway, there are 5 references to other pieces of Hetalia work, see if you can get them all right.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18923374/chapters/57211975

♡~Feli~♡: Ludwig

Ludwig: Yes?

♡~Feli~♡: Im sad

Ludwig: Why are you sad?

♡~Feli~♡: Mirror me is ugly ♡~Feli~♡: I have these dumb fat cheeks and this stupid baby face and this fat body ♡~Feli~♡: No matter how hard i try i cant lose them ♡~Feli~♡: Ill never be manly enough for girls to like me

Ludwig: Feliciano are you crying?

♡~Feli~♡: Ofc im crying ♡~Feli~♡: I just look so dumb no wonder ppl call me stupid

Ludwig: Okay, take a deep breath Ludwig: You only look ugly to yourself because you are crying Ludwig: You aren't dumb and you aren't ugly Ludwig: And I am pretty sure there are some girls out there that will like you Ludwig: Have you eaten anything today?

♡~Feli~♡: No ♡~Feli~♡: Im already fat enough i dont deserve more food

Ludwig: Feliciano Ludwig: Losing weight isn't about not eating at all Ludwig: Not that you have any to lose, you look perfectly fit in your pictures Ludwig: Once you stop crying go eat something Ludwig: You will feel much better

♡~Feli~♡: But ill still be fat and ill still have this stupid baby face

Ludwig: They are alright Feliciano Ludwig: They are barely noticable Ludwig: Now will you please go eat something

♡~Feli~♡: Okay

Ludwig: Good Ludwig: I am worried about you, do you think we could have another video call?

♡~Feli~♡: Let me dry my tears first

Feliciano took his time calming down. He made himself some tea and grabbed the leftover pizza from the fridge. Today, he was alone in the house, a feeling that worsened his melancholy. There was no one to hold him and cuddle him and tell him that things are okay. There was no one to yell at him and tell him to pull himself together and do something useful in life before whispering to him that he's beautiful. Feliciano craved those moments today.

He didn't even warm up his pizza before eating it like it was straight out of a famous Italian restaurant. His tea left forgotten as he dined, only the soft smell of cinnamon strong enough to calm his nerves down. It wasn't the time to be depressed, he had Ludwig to talk to. Finishing off his pizza, he grabbed his tea and retreated to his room, turning on Skype.

♡~Feli~♡: Okay im calm you can skype me now

Ludwig: Alright, let me just turn on my laptop

A few minutes later, Feliciano got the Skype notification on his computer. Accepting the call, he was met with the usual Ludwig business, bringing a smile to his face.

Ludwig was dressed properly, nothing too fancy, but also not in pajamas like Feliciano was. His hair was neatly slicked back and his room as tidy as always. Same couldn't be said about Feliciano.

On top of wearing pj's all day everyday, Feliciano was tightly wrapped up in a thick blanket like it was in the middle of winter and not plain old May. His eyes were still noticeably red and puffy, but Ludwig wouldn't comment on that even if it killed him. To add to the sad wintery atmosphere Feliciano had going on, between his hands, he was cuddling a colorful cup covered in stars.

Said cup was the first thing Feliciano noticed Ludwig was staring at. "Do you like it? I made it myself when I was a kid." He smiled.

Ludwig nodded, clearing his throat. "Yes. It really fits you, I must admit."

Feliciano giggled, feeling a bit of a sting from his eyes. He will probably have a headache in the morning.

"Are you feeling better?" Ludwig continued. "Did you eat anything?"

Feliciano nodded. "I had some leftover pizza so I ate that. And now I'm drinking tea to feel good about myself."

"Good. That is good."

"I guess."

"Do you feel better now that you had something to eat?" Ludwig asked, his concern for Feliciano noticeable in his voice.

"Yeah, I think. Sorry I worried you like that."

"Don't be. If anything, I am glad that you spoke to me about it. I know how you feel. I was a chubby kid too."

"How did you lose weight?"

"I didn't. Growing up, my weight just transferred into muscles and I trained for a while. None of it went away."

"Well, that's comforting." Feliciano sighed sadly. "I can't keep a training schedule to save my life. Especially now that I am out of school and do nothing all day."

"You just need something to push you to do it." Ludwig said. "How about a dare?"

"A dare? Are we playing truth or dare?"

"We can if you want to."

"Okay. What's your dare?"

"I dare you to do 3 pushups every day for the next month."

Feliciano nearly spat out some of the tea he was drinking. "Three?! I can barely do 1!"

"It is a dare, you have to do it." Ludwig almost smirked.

"Only if you do something as well."

Ludwig was about to start regretting his decision. "What is it?"

Feliciano thought hard for a while, before coming up with a challenge long and hard enough for Ludwig to do it. "You told me once you weren't much of an artist."

"Yes." Ludwig was definitely regretting playing this game.

"I want you to paint me a picture of what made you happy that day. Every day. For the next month." Feliciano smirked.

"Does it have to be a painting?" Ludwig meekly asked. "You know how busy my schedule is."

"No, but it has to be colorful. And I want them sent to me by 11 p.m. ever day."

"You really like challenges, don't you?"

"You dared me first. Now you have to do it too."

"Fine." Ludwig relaxed in his chair. "It is my turn I believe." He took his time thinking about the perfect question. "If you could only see one color for the rest of your life, which one would it be?"

Taken a bit by surprise, Feliciano thought for a while, looking around to spot a color which stood out the most to him. The sea was calm today, that got his attention, so calm it was almost calling for him, so, so very... "Blue." He said out loud, without realizing it.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Ludwig's voice pulled Feliciano out of his trance. "I would like to see brown mostly."

Feliciano's face almost twisted at the word brown. Why brown? It doesn't even stand out that much in nature, it's just darker orange and an ugly mix of colors together. "Why?"

Ludwig smiled. "My dogs are mostly brown." Well that explained a lot.

"I should have expected that." Feliciano laughed. "My turn. Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

An awkward question to ask Ludwig, Feliciano noticed. His cheeks have gotten a shade or two darker than usual, something that would probably go unnoticeable if he wasn't so pale. Regardless, Feliciano just had to know.

Ludwig breathed in. "No. I don't even have a female friend that isn't family to me."

"You've never dated?" Feliciano asked in surprise. And Ludwig was so good looking?

Ludwig shook his head, slightly embarrassed. "I get it that I haven't, but you? Look," Feliciano started, "when I come to Germany, we'll go hunting for ladies so that neither of us are single ever again, okay?"

It was no use in arguing over girls with Feliciano, so Ludwig just gave in. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway?"

"Is that the next question?" Feliciano asked.

"Yes."

Feliciano thought for a bit. "I think it's because I have multiple personalities living inside of me." He pointed to his chest. "One is your regular flirty Italian, the other is a sad bastard and the third one is just a huge lesbian."

Ludwig laughed, but Feliciano continued. "I think we all have a female part inside of us, mine just happens to like girls more than normal."

"Okay, if you say so." Ludwig still had to recover from his laughing fit.

"Also, lately I've been having these strange dreams. Like, one time I dreamed I was stuck in a dreamworld and it was all really beautiful and nice, but I would die if I stayed for too long. And you were coming to save me." Feliciano rambled. "Would you come save me from the dreamworld, Ludwig?"

"Of course I would." Truth to be told, Ludwig wasn't following Feliciano much.

"Aw, thank you. Anyway, that's not even the weirdest. I dreamed about this guy Steve one time, only he wasn't actually a guy but some alien creature. And he had this big mansion and I was stuck in there and I couldn't escape and it was so horrifying." Feliciano shivered at the memory of his dream.

"I must admit that it does sound horrifying. Especially if you happen to be claustrophobic." Ludwig said. "Now that you mention it, I've been having some strange dreams as well. And for some reason, you are always in them."

That peaked Feliciano's interest. Not that he wasn't interested in the first place. "Oh, I wanna hear! I wanna hear!"

"Well, one time I was a pilot during World War 2 and I was stationed in Italy and I met you, but then something happened and I had to leave. My plane crashed and I was imprisoned and you came to save me, then..." Ludwig stopped. "I don't recall what happened next, but it ended nicely, I think. I just remember flying a Messerschmitt Bf 109."

"Mrs. What?" Feliciano asked.

"Messerschmitt. It was a German fighter plane in World War 2. It was a rival plane to Spitfire and had a yellow nose."

Feliciano laughed. "I'll forget it's name, but at least I'll know it had a yellow nose."

"That is all you need to know." Ludwig continued. "Then I had another dream and it was poker themed. I was the king of hearts and you were my queen. That is pretty much all I remember from it."

"You must think so highly of me to make me your queen, I'm flattered." Feliciano giggled. "What do you think these dreams mean?"

"No idea, but I wish I knew. Maybe, they represent our bond with each other as friends."

"Maybe. Maybe they are telling us of our past lives and all that. Like your war one."

"I want to stop you because if you start talking like that, we will never leave the topic of dreams."

Feliciano laughed, glad that Ludwig was listening to him by stopping him from going too far with his talking. "When will you come to Italy, Ludwig? We could have so much fun."

"As soon as I have some more free time, I will pay you a visit."

"Yes! We can go on tour of Rome and I could show you the Colosseum and The Pantheon and Bocca della Verita and I could show you our beaches and we would have so much fun!"

"You sound like you have already planned everything out."

"That's just one possibility. I could give you a tour of all of Italy if you want. You just have to come here first."

Ludwig attempted his nicest smile. And failed. Feliciano was so excited about all of this. "Would you show me the Rialto Bridge as well?"

It would be a lie to say Feliciano's eyes didn't glow at this point. "Of course I would! And maybe you can bring your girlfriend, if you get one in time, and you can do the kiss scene from the book! You can even get married! Can I be your best man, please?"

"You will have to fight Gilbert for that position. I doubt he would just give it away."

"Gilbert, you are a worthy opponent. But I must take you down for the sake of providing myself the glorious Best Man position." Feliciano delivered the speech. "I can do best wedding speeches, I think Gilbert is already losing."

"We will see." Ludwig laughed. "But wouldn't you want to be your brother's best man?"

"I'm the odd one out, they got each other. Aside from you, I don't have much options on who else to have as my best man." Feliciano sighed.

"Well, that is really sad. I probably won't marry at all, so if you get married, I can still be your best man." Ludwig said.

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Yes."

"But what about Gilbert?"

"I admire you for believing that he would get married, but I doubt that would be the case."

"Harsh truth." Feliciano laughed. "I hope Lovi can get married. If not here, he could get married somewhere else."

"One day it might be possible."

"One day when the world isn't as hateful as now. I think he'll hate having to be married outside of Italy."

Silence fell upon them, just as the front door of Feliciano's house slammed shut. A soft, but loud voice could be heard. "Feli! I'm home!"

"Romeo is home. I'm not alone anymore." Feliciano commented.

"Do I suddenly not exist?" Ludwig asked, a bit offended by Feliciano's statement.

"No! I meant that I'm not home alone anymore. Don't go anywhere, I'd be sad if you stopped existing." Feliciano corrected himself.

A sound of footsteps coming up the stairs could be heard, but Feliciano failed to hear them.

"I won't be going anywhere then." Ludwig said, just as the door to Feliciano's room opened.

"Hi Feli." Romeo greeted. "Who are you talking to?"

Feliciano jumped slightly as the door opened, but smiled to his brother. "Ludwig. Come say hi."

Romeo did as he was told and greeted Ludwig. "Hi Lud."

"Hello." Came a response.

"Feli, nonno said he'll be coming home the day after tomorrow. We should probably prepare Lovi just in case." Romeo said.

"Good idea. I'll be down when we're done and we can plan the thing out." Feliciano responded and Romeo left him to wrap things up with Ludwig.

"So nonno is coming home soon. Which is bad. And we need to prepare Lovi for it. Which is worse." Feliciano explained the situation to Ludwig, seeing as the latter didn't know much Italian.

"I see. Basically, you get to be a pigeon again." Ludwig remarked.

Feliciano laughed, partially glad Ludwig still remembered that from a couple of months ago. "Probably. Maybe it works out okay in the end, but I doubt it."

"I am here whenever you need me. Except when I am at college or at work, but other than that..."

"Thanks." Feliciano laughed. "I gotta go. Me and Romeo have to plan this out carefully."

"Before you do, it is Romeo and I. Remember it."

"Yes, yes, Romeo and I, okay. Talk to you later, Ludwig!" Feliciano said, waving goodbye to Ludwig.

"Good luck!" Ludwig simply said and gave Feliciano a small wave before ending the call. They talked for good 3 hours, but to Feliciano it only felt like a couple of minutes.

He walked downstairs to discuss things with Romeo. Getting his brother and grandfather in the same room again won't be easy and Feliciano just hoped it would turn out okay in the end.

#GerIta #Germany x Italy #APH Germany #hetalia GerIta #gerita fanfic #aph gerita #hws gerita #APH Italy #aph seborga #hws germany #hws italy #hws seborga #APH #hws #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #hetalia world stars #drawn together story

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amyscascadingtabs · 6 years ago

Text

i’ll walk through hell with you

chapter 2: i guess truth is what you believe in

read chapter one

read on ao3 here

Amy and Leah visit family, a holiday is celebrated, and illness takes over the Santiago-Peralta household.

december

If there is one thing Amy is certain of, stuck in the car with 97 miles to go and an overtired toddler in the back seat, it is that something must be seriously wrong with her.

No one in their right mind says yes to a family weekend upstate with all siblings and their families nine days before Christmas. Not when it’s a three-hour drive. Not while they’re already left alone to care for their child for the weekend due to a time-sensitive and crucial opportunity coming up in a case Jake has worked for two months. Not when previously mentioned child is recovering from a cold and is ten times more cranky and attention-craving than normal.

Except - apparently - Amy.

She doesn't know what the fuck she was thinking.

She knows some thought went into her plan, such as the idea to drive late at night so Leah could sleep in the car. She simply wishes it could have worked, because right now the toddler is singing Wheels On The Bus for the seventeenth time in forty minutes and Amy feels like her head is going to explode. It's a quarter to ten, over two hours past the kid’s bedtime, and so far she refuses to fall asleep. She's wide awake in her seat, chatting and laughing and singing like there’s no tomorrow. If Amy had as much as a spare drop of energy left -even better, if there had been another parent in the car to focus on entertaining their child - the whole thing would have been adorable, but tonight it’s exhausting above anything else.

“Maaa-maaa?” Leah shouts the word from the back seat, wildly kicking her legs against the back cushioning, and Amy has to take a deep breath before she can reply in a calm tone.

“Yes, baby?”

“Are we there?”

“Not yet, Lee.”

Amy can see the reflection of Leah scrunching her forehead in the baby car mirror. “Why?”

“Because we still have a little way left to drive. We’ll be there soon, I promise.”

“Soon?” Leah shines up, kicking her legs again. “When is soon?”

“It will go faster if you close your eyes for a while,” She tries, using one of the oldest parenting tricks in the book. “I promise.”

“Not tired!” Her daughter responds in her cheeriest voice, and Amy gives herself a mental pat on the back for stifling a groan.

They repeat this exchange about ten times or so before Leah tires of it and returns to her singing. At that point, Amy’s counting it as a win. As much as she loves being this kid’s mom, there are indubitably times - and late-night drives with an overtired two-year-old in the back seat - when she loves it less.

Then Leah falls asleep for the last ten miles of the drive and clutches her arms and legs around Amy like a koala to a tree when she’s lifted out of her car seat and carried to bed, and it’s easier than ever to love being a mom.

There’s never an uneventful day with all of the Santiagos in the same house, and it’s not any more relaxing with the extra presence of six partners, twelve grandchildren, and one dog. From the moment Amy and Leah make their way down to the kitchen for breakfast, and the toddler finds out there might be a cookie baking session with grandma happening today, the day is in full swing. Leah joins her in facetiming Jake for a few minutes to say good morning, but after that, Amy barely sees her daughter for more than a split second in several hours.

The chaos is a welcome distraction. She plays Cards Against Humanity with Luis’s teenage daughters and Julian until Simon starts begging them to help him make a YouTube video, and she teaches five-year-old Noah how to draw the perfect portrait of a horse. She reads a story to three-year-old Maisie, and she laughs heartily at the sight of Leah chasing Oscar the Bichon Frise around while yelling Kitty Cat!. For a few, wondrous hours, Amy manages to live in blissful oblivion over the two starkly negative pregnancy tests she unceremoniously shoved in the bathroom trash can before leaving yesterday, and it feels like heaven.

It feels like heaven up until she joins the crew of brothers and partners currently taking up space in the kitchen. Her brother Isaac is parked in the middle of the kitchen couch, feeding the youngest Santiago member, just-turned one-month-old Milo, with a bottle; around him Camila, Luis, Tony and his wife Clara all fawn over and admire every aspect of the newborn’s appearance. Christian, Julian and Julian’s husband Lucas are at the other end of the kitchen cuddling with and doting on the exhausted dog, and Amy silently curses her allergies for making her unable to join them. Simon just brought out his camera in the living room and she refuses to risk another unwilling YouTube appearance, so her only option is to sit down with the team of awestruck baby-admirers.

“You forget how tiny they are,” Luis says, watching the infant with a nostalgic glance in his eyes. “I’ve had five, and you never get used to it.”

“You don’t,” Camila confirms with a small laugh, reaching out to stroke the baby’s closed fist with her thumb and index finger. “Not even I do. I’m shocked every time!”

“I thought I remembered everything from when Maisie was born.” Isaac grins, giving the empty baby bottle to Camila and carefully lifting the infant upright against his shoulder. “But then he comes out, and I think he must be several pounds lighter because surely Maisie was never this tiny, but he was bigger!” He shakes his head. “It’s insane.”

“He’s so cute,” Tony chimes in. “Do you get to sleep anything? I’m nervous about that.” His left hand is resting next to Clara’s on top of her visible baby bump. Amy lets out an audible snort upon hearing about her brother’s main cause for worry, but Isaac just grins.

“You get used to it. It’ll probably be worse for Clara anyway.”

“Great.” Clara grimaces, turning to Amy. “I can’t even sleep now! I either have a baby sleeping on top of my bladder or kicking me in the ribs for the whole night.”

“I remember.” She smiles, thinking back to the few times late in her pregnancy she’d made Jake sleep on the couch only because she couldn’t stand listening to his snoring on top of it all. “It sucks, and then everyone keeps telling you to sleep while you still can and you’re trying not to punch them.”

“Exactly!” Her sister-in-law laughs, tucking a strand of red-blonde hair behind her ear. “At least everyone says it’s worth it.”

“If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have done it so many times,” says Camila, and Clara looks relieved. “Oh, Amy, you need to hold Milo for a little while! He’s been in everyone’s arms except for yours today. Isaac, send him to Amy.”

“Oh.” She squirms in her seat, a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. “It’s okay. I was just going to look for Leah anyway -”

“Leah’s upstairs doing puzzles with Sarah and Samuel,” Isaac explains, referring to David’s two-year-old twins. “She’s fine. You can hold him, Ames.”

“I think I’m good… okay, no choice, I see.” Her younger brother’s already holding out the infant to her, and before she can adjust to the thought, there’s a tiny, yawning baby in her arms.

It’s achingly familiar, yet it feels like it’s been forever.

At first, it’s like every muscle fiber in her body tenses with the sudden awareness that there's a fragile, helpless human in her arms and the weight of terrifying responsibility resting with her for a moment. It's been two years since Amy last held a newborn, and she certainly forgot how breakable they feel when they haven't learned to support their own head. Then Milo lets out a content sigh, his mouth twitching like he's smiling at her, and although she knows he's too small and it's likely just gas, the brief facial expression makes her feel chosen.

She's missed this, she realizes. Noting the classic Santiago baby appearance traits, the head of dark hair and the little button nose, she thinks of countless hours spent holding her own clingy newborn two years ago, and bites her lip when she remembers that she still has no idea when she’ll get to do it again. Milo’s adorable, and Amy's secretly wishing he could stay in her arms forever or she could steal him and take him home with her, but he's also a painful reminder of what she wants most and doesn't have yet.

“He likes you,” Isaac comments, nodding towards the infant. “You and Jake haven’t thought of having another one?”

She freezes at the sound of his question, instantly clueless about what constitutes a good reply. She could tell him the truth, of course, and probably receive a flood of well-meaning advice about the best ways to conceive, but doing so would lead to expectations. Santiagos aren’t known for struggling to have kids, and she’s terrified of handling a hoard of family members subtly trying to figure out whether or not she's pregnant every time they see her. It's enough pressure coming from herself. She doesn't need people adding to it - least of all her family.

“Oh,” she says instead, avoiding eye contact by playing with one of Milo’s fists. “Well, we’re not sure yet.”

“Two years is the best age span between siblings,” Luis chimes in. “We always tried to aim for two years and our kids are super close.”

“Yes, yes, two years is perfect,” Camila agrees, nodding eagerly. “The adjustment is much more difficult when they’ve turned three, or four, and suddenly they’re not the youngest anymore… Sometimes I think Tony never got over his grudges against Simon!”

“I’m telling you, mom, that’s not it, we have a grudge because four years ago he made me do that awful cinnamon challenge that almost gave me an asthma attack and filmed it -”

“Two years is great,” Christian interrupts his younger brother’s story without remorse. “We went for two years between Isabel and Noah and it was perfect. You do want to have more than one kid, right?”

Amy has never wished harder for a baby in her arms to start crying.

She needs to get away, out of the situation where she has to hear and answer these sudden intrusive questions, but Milo shows no signs of waking. She’s stuck with a panicky, claustrophobic sensation in her chest and a forced smile on her lips.

“We do,” she replies to Christian’s question, weighing every word carefully. “We’re just not sure when.”

“No point in waiting,” says Isaac, looking at the baby in Amy’s arms. “I wish we’d had Milo earlier!”

There must be a lack of air in the room, or her allergy medicines have stopped working and are making her react to the dog, because she can’t shake the feeling she’s suffocating. She's feeling trapped even in the spacious kitchen, and although she knows everyone has their eyes fixed on Milo, she can't shake the feeling it's her they're staring at.

She wonders if they're seeing right through her; if they somehow know about negative pregnancy tests of yesterday, or if they can sense her desperation and frustration in the fake smile plastered on her face.

“I suppose you never know,” she answers somehow, heart pounding too quickly. “I, uh… have to go to the bathroom. Do you want to hold him for a little while, Clara?”

Amy senses eyes on her as she sneaks out the kitchen, hurries through the hallway and grabs her coat before heading out and sitting down on the porch, but she can't bring herself to care. She has to fill her lungs with fresh air and get away from well-meaning but prying questions, or she’s going to have a full-on breakdown.

There’s a layer of snow on the ground, too thin for any children or adults to be playing in but enough to give a sense of hope for a white Christmas. She scrapes her fingers through the minuscule ice crystals gathered on the wooden decking, drawing an uneven heart with her index finger and following it with another.

You do want to have more than one kid, right?

She draws a third, smaller heart below the two bigger ones.

You and Jake haven’t thought of having another one anytime soon?

She draws a fourth tiny heart next to the third one.

No point in waiting.

She hides her fist in the sleeve of her winter coat, rubbing it over her drawings and turning them into nothingness. She curses the fact that Jake’s working, that he and Rosa are following up some highly important leads today and their mission would likely be sabotaged if she called and interrupted her husband now, and she curses the fact that Leah’s having the time of her life playing with her cousins and would probably scream in protest if Amy tried to steal her for cuddles.

It’s not too cold outside with her warm coat keeping her comfortable, but she’s still shivering, so she wraps her arms around herself and tries to blink away the tears taking form in her eyes.

She’s aware she’s being ridiculous. Having a baby takes more than a couple months of trying in many, many cases - the majority of them, even. She’s far from unique, yet a sneaking suspicion and vexing anxiety are lingering with her.

No point in waiting.

She puts one hand on her chest and one hand over her stomach, trying to focus on the fresh air flowing in through her nose and out through her mouth, filling and leaving her for each inhale and exhale.

“Just relax,” she whispers to herself, pretending it's Jake's voice saying the words, his unwavering belief that it will all be fine she's listening to.

“Are you sure you’re still my sister? Have you had some kind of personality change?”

“Huh?” Amy almost jumps at the sound of Julian’s voice, bringing her out of her focused breathing and forcing her to look up.

“You’re willingly outside in the cold weather,” he declares, slumping down next to her. “Even with a coat on, that's impressive for you.” She notes that he's only wearing a hoodie himself and seems unbothered by the temperature.

“I needed fresh air.”

“Because of Oscar? I swear his breed is supposed to be allergy-friendly, we researched that stuff in depth. Maybe your allergies are just undefeatable?”

“No, it’s fine as long as I don't pet him.” Amy places a hand on her brother's shoulder, squeezing it. “Oscar’s great. Leah's in love with him.”

“Isn't he amazing?” Julian's grin is comically wide, his eyes sparkling with undiluted pride. “He can sit, and roll, and catch, and play dead if he gets enough candy! Parenthood is incredible. I’m so glad our kids get along.” He doesn't entirely sound like he’s joking, and Amy can't help but laugh at his excitement. “So if it wasn't Oscar, why did you leave?”

“Were you listening to the conversation?”

“Eh, bits and pieces. How so?”

She sighs. “They - mom, and Isaac and Christian, mostly - interrogated me about whether we’re planning to have another baby anytime soon.”

“And you’re not?”

“We are! We’re actively trying for it.”

“Oh! Cool,” Julian nods, scratching the stubble on his chin. “I can get behind that. I wouldn't have anything against reproducing with those Peralta genes either if I could.” Amy elbows her brother in the side at that, probably way harder than necessary, and it makes him gasp in offense. “Hey! It’s just objective facts that he's attractive!”

“I’m telling Lucas you said that.”

“Lucas agrees. Either way - if you actually are trying, what's with the tears and the sudden storming out?”

“I didn't storm out,” she protests, and he gives her a meaning look of judgment as if to say yes, you did. “And it's nothing.”

Julian snorts. “Sure it is.”

“It's not a big deal.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“It's just making me a little stressed is all.”

“A little.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” Amy groans, placing her head in both hands and quickly running her fingers through her hair. There's a knot in the back of it, and she busies herself trying to pull it apart as she speaks. “We are trying. It's just not going very well yet, I guess. It’s making me nervous, and it's not something I want to tell everyone in our family about, because, well… we’re not exactly known for struggling with that.”

Julian is silent, and there’s a moment where Amy wonders if she’s managed the impossible. For all their countless petty fights and differences, Julian has always had a reply to offer her. Sometimes he’s supportive, sometimes questioning, and sometimes he’s all over judging her decisions, but he never ignores her worries when she chooses to confide in him. It throws her off to see him take so long to answer her now, and she watches him twist the white gold wedding ring on his finger absentmindedly while he grimaces.

“No,” he says right as she starts to consider tapping him on the shoulder to make sure he’s conscious. “I guess we’re not known for struggling with anything. Has this… been a problem for a long time?”

“A couple of months.”

“...Is that a long time? I’m not great with this heterosexual business. I’m much better with waiting times for adopting a dog.”

The corner of her mouth twitches. “It’s not that long. But it’s longer when you don’t have a lot of time to begin with.” Julian looks about as perplexed as if she’d been trying to explain the intricate details of quantum physics to him, and she clarifies. “Fertility decreases as you age.”

“Right. Yeah.”

“I’m thirty-nine. Maybe I shouldn't panic yet, but in a year, or two…” Amy shakes her head. “It gets really low. Higher chances of miscarrying. Chromosome variations. Premature birth. You name it. Basically, the sooner I get pregnant now, the better and safer it is for everyone.”

“I see.”

“So there's some time pressure,” she explains further, connecting her hands inside the coat sleeves to eliminate the cold that's started to seep in. “And it’s making me terrified something's wrong with me already. That it's not going to work. That we’ll never be able to have a second kid. I know that's maybe not the end of the world, but… I really, really want it, and I’d be heartbroken if it didn’t happen.”

A pair of stubborn, humiliating teardrops make their way down her cheeks at the thought, and she untangles her hands to quickly wipe them away.

“I’m sure it'll work out, Ames.” Julian's smile is partly sympathetic and partly insecure when he speaks, like this subject is miles out of his comfort zone but he's trying his best anyway. “As you said, two months is nothing, right? Mom was like, 42 when she had Simon. Surely if anyone's got the genes for this, it’s our family.”

“Yeah. It's never a guarantee, though, and I can’t handle their questions. Two years is the best time between siblings,” she imitates in an exaggerated high-pitched tone, and Julian laughs heartily. “As if I wasn’t already pressuring myself about the same thing. But I can't tell them that, because then they’d start asking.”

“Mm, our family does lack all understanding of what privacy is sometimes.” Julian grins. “There are several options even for gay men! Surrogates! Adoption! I read this article in a magazine where a pair co-parented with lesbians!” His shrill imitation tone is awful and hilarious at the same time, making Amy snicker. “I think she was mad at me for weeks after I told her we were happy with a dog. She means well, but it just becomes a lot.”

“Doesn’t get easier when it’s something you already want, either.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“Maybe. I hope so.”

“If not, I’m pro-dogs. They’re pretty much like children, except you don’t have to create a college fund for them. A win-win situation if it weren’t for the fact that owning a dog could probably kill you. But other than that!” Julian stretches his arms over his head, looking mighty proud of himself. “Solid.”

“I’m already busy trying to talk Jake out of buying a cat,” says Amy, massaging her temples at the thought. “But he’s managed to get Leah obsessed with them, so I think I’m losing.”

“That’s why she’s calling Oscar a cat! Wow. Jake’s a genius.”

“Well, that and she’s two. And please don’t ever tell him that, because his ego would literally explode.”

Amy can feel her face going numb from the cold outside, a sudden gust of wind coming at them and making her eyes tear for a new reason. The fact that she’s lost track of time hits her, awakening an uneasiness and a sudden need to get inside and check up on how her daughter’s doing, so she gives Julian a quick, rare hug, and is surprised when he squeezes her back for a long time.

“Thanks for coming out,” she mumbles, and he nods.

“Of course. I just don’t like seeing you cry.”

“Aww, that’s kind of sweet.”

“You look so weird when you do,” he says with a smirk, and she rolls her eyes at the mock insult. “No one should have to see that.”

“Fuck off, Jules.”

“Yep. Now let’s go make sure our kids are still alive and haven’t eaten any couches. Is that a thing with human children too?”

january

It’s a good Christmas.

It’s a Christmas where Amy can allow herself some time to relax and unwind, put her worries aside and focus on her family during the ten days both her and Jake manage to garner off work. It’s a long-awaited and dearly welcomed break from early daycare drop-offs, ten-minute-dinners, and infinite planning to make sure nothing is forgotten.

Instead there is time for slow wakeups, snuggling with Leah when she crawls into their bed in the early hours of the morning and giving in to her request of watching iPad in their bed only so they can keep their eyes closed for a little while longer. There's time for late-night conversations over a glass of wine that don't feel rushed because at least they don't have somewhere to be tomorrow, and there's time to properly see friends outside of work for the first time in what feels like forever. They go to dinner at Terry’s house, watch Rosa enjoy the indoor trampoline park even more than Leah does, and they gratefully accept Charles’ offer to babysit their daughter for a night. Amy figures the man has a specific motive in mind, but then Jake suggests they spend the night at a hotel and Leah gets ecstatic at the mention of watching Disney movies with her uncle Charles and Nikolaj, so she ends up saying yes. She’s only human, after all, and she’s not going to neglect the rare and precious chance of a sleep-in.

(The date also times mysteriously well with when she should be ovulating.)

(She does not want to ask.)

Even the yearly Christmas dinner with the Santiagos ends up being survivable. Although there are kids crying, odd snarky comments between Tony and Simon, and Leah outright refuses to wear anything but her sequined dinosaur shirt and glittery tights to the event, things proceed smoothly and Amy’s stress levels remain on the healthier part of the scale. She watches Jake hold and make funny faces at Milo and can feel her mom giving them meaning looks from across the room, but she breathes through it and silently thanks the Universe when Leah chooses that exact moment to climb onto Amy’s lap and ask if they can read one of her new books. Sure, part of her wishes she could be gifting her husband a crafted announcement with a baby onesie and a positive pregnancy test much like the ones she’s pinned on Pinterest, but the tender way he hugs her thank you after he opens his gift and sees the photo book filled with pictures with him and Leah, is more than enough to ease her sorrow. He gifts her a gold necklace with the letters J and L in separate miniature hearts, and when he tells her it’s so she can always be keeping them next to her own heart, she tears up and kisses him so long and ardently that he looks a little dazed, blinking with surprise when they part.

It’s a good New Year’s Eve, too. They spend the first part of the evening at the Holt-Cozner New Year’s Party, listening to their daughter proudly tell every guest she’s going to stay up until midnight, and then they try not to laugh when she passes out the moment she’s in her car seat at half-past nine. Jake and Amy end their year in pajamas on the couch, toasting in champagne just for the sake of it and going right to bed afterward.

Next year we’ll have another baby, she thinks to herself before falling asleep about fifteen minutes into the new year, a new sense of shimmering optimism lingering with her. It has to have worked by then.

January is hell. Everyone knows it, specifically, everyone who’s had children at daycare, because January means no one is healthy and neither Jake nor Amy manage a full week at work without taking time off to care for a sick child or themselves. Amy prays they’ll make it through without any cases of stomach flu, but such seems to have been too much to ask, because she’s woken up by devastating crying from Leah’s room on the one night Jake’s doing a night shift and she knows before the two-year-old’s even started retching.

She doesn’t get any sleep that night.

She doesn’t get any sleep the next night either, because when Leah stops throwing up and Amy feels like she can breathe again when the child keeps some applesauce down and asks if she can watch Doc McStuffins, it only takes three hours before Jake starts complaining about feeling sick.

January must surely be some twisted sort of a joke, she thinks, and disinfects her hands an extra time before she goes to remind her very miserable husband that he’s not actually dying.

It’s only natural, amid the virus-filled havoc, that it takes her a few days to realize she hasn’t gotten her period.

Come to think of it, she is feeling a bit nauseous. The excessive fatigue and emotional imbalance she knows were early symptoms in her first pregnancy is harder to distinguish from the exhaustion after two intense days of caring for poorly family members, but she’s a mom and a Santiago and she categorically never gets sick.

She gives the nausea a day, waiting for it to break out into the same flu Jake and Leah are already victims of, but it doesn’t. It stays the same.

Amy’s never been so excited about nausea in her life.

She waits until Leah’s gone to bed, falling asleep in Amy’s arms on the couch. The two-year-old’s still not quite her energetic, bubbly self and has been stuck to her parents like a needy band-aid for most of the day, and it could have been tiring if it hadn’t also meant lots of cuddles. Right now, though, Amy's arms and back are happy to get a break from carrying the kid around while she lays down next to Jake instead, spooning him and receiving a grateful smile when she starts playing with his hair.

“How are you feeling, babe?”

“Dying. I think I might be dead already,” he groans before turning his head and looking her in the eyes with feigned seriousness. “Please say something nice at my funeral and promise me you'll take care of Charles when I'm gone.”

“You're not dying, Jake.”

“How d’you know?”

“Because you haven't thrown up since last night and you only have a slight fever,” she reminds him, feeling his lukewarm forehead. “You're fine.”

“I am definitely much better with a hot girl draped on top of me,” he says with a smug expression, his hand gently stroking under her old NYPD shirt up her back. She rolls her eyes, because looks haven't exactly been the top priority for the last three days and she's not sure when she last washed her hair, yet Jake never stops making an effort to charm her. “How are you feeling, Ames?”

“Actually, I've been kind of nauseous all day. But I'm not sure it's stomach flu.”

“Huh? What else would it be?”

“I'm thinking,” she presses her index finger to his chest, “maybe I should take a pregnancy test.”

“Oh.” He squints at her. “Why?”

Amy gives him an exasperated look.

“Okay, yeah. But you’ve also spent the last three days taking care of your sick family. Leah was throwing up on us. Are you sure you're not just ill?”

“I have a good feeling,” she insists, because she does - there's a renewed sense of hope and blind faith that perhaps this could be it, resting with her. “And I never get sick.”

“Once again, your daughter was vomiting on you and I'm still convinced I might be dying. This is a brutal virus, Ames.”

“Clearly.” She runs her fingers through his messier-than-usual curls again, and his mouth shapes into a content smile despite his still worried eyes. “I’m still going to take that test, though. In case.”

“In case,” he repeats slowly. “Well, it’s your body.”

“Exactly.” She kisses his forehead. “You get it. I’ll be right back.”

Amy takes these tests with ease now. She’s been doing them two, three times extra following every first negative in a desperate hope for the result to change. False negatives are common, test results are safer the longer after a missed period they’re taken, and there’s no reason not to test an extra time. Long story short, she's becoming a pro at taking pregnancy tests, but so far the single lines and minus signs are staying the same.

She says a silent prayer this one will be an exception.

Plastic cap off, pee for five seconds, plastic cap back on, lay the test flat and wait while trying not to freak out. She manages all steps but the final.

She carries the little plastic stick out to the living room coffee table gently as if it had been made of glass.

“Three minutes,” she informs Jake, and he nods while she sets a timer on her phone. In three minutes, they'll know whether her good feeling is right or dead wrong, and the nausea increases but this time Amy thinks it's nerves.

She doesn't want to stare, but she does anyway, waiting for a second line to appear no matter how faint. Jake sits up next to her, taking her hand and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, and she manages a weak smile without lifting her eyes from the test.

The timer goes off without a second line appearing.

Amy lifts the test to inspect it closer, but there's not even a hint of anything. She gives it to Jake for a second opinion, and he inspects it just as closely before shaking his head and mumbling a quiet sorry, babe.

She's not pregnant this month either.

“It’s okay, Ames. Three months is nothing.”

She doesn’t realize there are tears in her eyes until they’re trailing down her cheeks and Jake’s hand is there, wiping them away. She presses on his wrist to move it, make him stop because she’s not okay and she doesn’t want him pressuring her to feel anything but the searing disappointment coursing through her veins.

“It’s not,” she says, shaking her head. “I just feel so stupid. I thought I was feeling something.”

“You’re not stupid,” he tells her, and the tenderness in his voice erases her annoyance. “You want this really bad. I do, too, but… well, it’s not my body.”

“Not your body being a massive failure.”

“Hey!” Jake holds up one hand like he’s making a stop motion. “No one talks that way about my wife!”

“Ha-ha.”

“I’m serious! You don’t get to say those things, okay? You know it’s not true.” She hums a doubting sound, and he sighs, placing his arm around her shoulders. “Ames, we’ll just try again. We already did a great job once, and there are moments I wish we hadn’t, because if we didn’t have a toddler in daycare I would be so much healthier… okay, I still don’t regret it,” he adds. “Except maybe the daycare part, because I swear I’m sick all the time.”

“You love our daycare! Without it, you’d never get to eat that Scientology-guy’s chocolate chip cookies at every parent meeting.”

“Fair point. Craig, right? Weirdly good baker. Fine - I guess I don’t regret the daycare either. But you’re about to.”

This time, she’s the one squinting at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Still feeling nauseous?”

“Kind of, why are you… oh, no.”

“Oh, yes. Your immune system isn’t undefeatable!”

“It’s still better than yours,” she counters, and Jake just grins.

“But not undefeatable.”

She gives him a slow nod, trying to hide the despondency on her face as she takes the negative test from his hands.

“I’m just going to throw this away.”

Amy is certain of it when she wakes up three hours later, almost throwing herself out of bed to make it to the bathroom in time - January is officially and unquestionably hell.

#my writing #b99 #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine-nine #peraltiago #jake x amy #b99 fic #brooklyn 99 fic #brooklyn nine-nine fic #b99 fanfiction #brooklyn nine-nine fanfiction #jake x amy fic #jake x amy fanfiction #peraltiago fic #peraltiago fanfiction #sorry for being so rude about january don't take it personally if you love january #it's just.. everyone's sick

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threewaysdivided · 5 years ago

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Yo hey!!! I just read through your YJ:DW series and I absolutely love it??? So much??? You write absolutely marvelously and have such a wonderful devotion to characterization and everything feels very Real and Natural. Your pacing is most excellent, you really know when things need to be lingered on and when they don’t need much more than a passing mention. And g o d I absolutely adore how you characterize so many characters, but particularly Danny. Like, he’s still the same Danny from the-(1/?)

show, but he’s changed in very particular ways that really match with what he’s been through. He’s very cautious and nervous and frightened after everything that’s happened, afraid to trust, to let people know too much. And that makes sense with everything he’s been through! He’s been on the run for so long, settling in one place definitely chafes at him. More than he feels it should, but it does. And like! He’s so wary and on edge with meeting the Team and the League members. I am def- (2/?)

-initely looking forward to seeing even more of their interactions. And like!!! The team’s reactions!!! Are so well thought out and just fantastic. Like, how Robin is aiming for a mix of normalcy and just a touch of protectiveness. And M’gann is curious and welcoming and doing her best to be Team Mom without being overwhelming. And how Wally is so intensely disbelieving and flippant QND almost abrasive to Phantom. I really wonder how he’s going to change in his approach to Phantom,- (3/?)

-like if he’ll dig his feet in even further to the point of rejecting reality in an attempt to maintain the reality in his own mind, or if he actually will start considering the science behind ghosts possible. I’m so excited to see how that develops. Also, aside, can I just say I loved getting Black Canary’s perspective on things with the last chapter? It revealed a lot more of Danny’s proper abilities and strengths than ya’d necessarily be able to piece together with a younger perspective-(4/?)

-and it just really helps develop the dynamics of everything even more. I’m wondering if you’re going to end up giving Danny enhanced strength or not, and if so to what degree, as an aside, explaining a bit more why he might be pulling his punches. I also wonder if he has any hesitation with fighting living folks who aren’t actively trying to hurt him, seeing as he mostly has experience fighting Ghosts and Hunters. Also also, I’m just so excited to see them all go on a mission!!! (5 or 6/?)

-Aaaah I could keep gushing for a Good While but I’m forgetting how many asks I’ve sent and I don’t want to bother you toooo much, so Imma just finish with you write beautifully and I’m So EXCITED to see where you go with things and like aaaaaaaaah, ya kno!!! (6 or 7/ 6 or 7)

Okay, first things first, you are absolutely not bothering me. You found a piece of free content that I put up and - with no obligation or expectation - sent me six messages detailing how much you liked it, and that’s Delightful. It made my morning. ‘Bothering’ is more than welcome on this blog. Encouraged, even!

We’ve got a lot to cover so let’s get to it:

Danny’s Characterisation

Danny’s character has been a bit of a challenge to balance at times but I’m pretty pleased with how he’s shaping up. There was this trend I noticed back when I started where - even in fics I really like - people had a frustrating tendency to swing him too much in one or the other direction; either turning him into a confident wise-cracking hyper-powerful hyper-skilled Troubled Badass™ who everyone respected even if he was humble about it, or into a Sad™ Broken™ Tormented™ cinnamon roll who just wanted love and who trusted and is trusted by every hero with minimal persuasion, when really he’s somewhere in the middle.

He’s a hero, yes, but he’s also a teenager. He’s experienced and competent, but it’s in the self-taught way that leaves him with rough edges, blindspots and a lack of technical skill. He can be a good, confident leader when the situation calls for it but he’s also someone who reads as fairly socially introverted and canonically has personal self-confidence issues, anxious and depressive traits and really wants to be accepted by his peers. He’s friendly and funny and likeable but lacks social experience in a casual setting and can struggle with expressing his feelings, knowing the right thing to say/ do and being open with people. He’s not just one or the other. He’s both.

I also really wanted to explore the Death and Secrets plot points with more emotional detail. It felt like a lot of the time in stories where he lost his family, Danny would either stall out in a tormented Grief State right until a Power of Love/ Friendship-prompted revival toward the final act, or he’d be sad for 5-10 short chapters then bounce back to his old self and go off with his New Family like it ain’t no thing. With Deathly Weapons I want the characters to have to grow and come together naturally; to earn their healing and show why/how they’d come to like and trust each other, or decide that the other person is worth making the investment.

The Team

It’s kind of funny in hindsight but the Team’s development was a oddly late addition to the planning. Which was fine for Arc I - being very Danny-centric - but then, as I was brainstorming Arc II it kind of hit me that if I was going to call this fic Young Justice: Deathly Weapons I should really try to showcase what I liked so much about the series. And then I realised how much Danny’s experiences (canonical and DW-verse) and Team Phantom paralleled different members of the S1 cast, and how much character exploration potential there was to be had. Arc II is basically just 8 teens looking at each other and going “We’re not so different you and I” in various settings for 20+ chapters.

There’s this nice quote from Stieg Larsson that I think sums up how I see both Danny and the different members of the Team fitting together:

“I’m not going to compete with you. I’m better than you are at what I do. And you’re better than I am at what you do.”

All of them have at least one thing they’re good at, and at least a few weaknesses that other members can cover. Their skills are complementary, their personalities and experiences are complimentary and none of them feel redundant in being there. And with the extra challenges a DW-verse AU opens up, it creates a space where Phantom can slot in without having to displace an existing well-established member.

It also makes revolving perspective a lot of fun as I can tag in whoever’s mindset and perspective best fits the tone and information that needs to be delivered, rather than risking any one character losing their characterisation to their role as de facto narrator.

Despite how he’s acting right now, Wally is actually one of my favourites. Needless to say there’s a lot more going on with our resident speedster than simple garden-variety ecto/paranorma-phobia, but that’ll be explored more in the chapters Flashpoints, Combustion and Equilibrium.

Training and Powers

Bruce and Dinah both make fun writes because they’re adults with more maturity and experience, which makes them great sources of diegetic exposition and perception that the main Team wouldn’t carry as well.

I’ve gotten a few questions about Danny’s powers in that chapter and how close they play to canon, so I should probably clear that up. First thing is that DP’s canon is very wibbly wobbly about Danny’s power set (Is it super-strength letting him lift that or is he touch-transferring flight to make it weigh less? Are those ectoblasts actually fire or was that just an animation flourish? Can he teleport or is he just really fast and invisible? Does him lifting a rake that one time mean he has telekinesis or was it just a quick sight-gag?) so I’ve had to make some calls with grouping and sometimes dropping or altering edge-case powers to create a system that makes sense. The other thing is that Chapter 17 is Danny explaining the things he consciously uses on the job and exploring how they compare to similar DC powers, rather than detailing out every single aspect that makes him different from regular humans. (Kind of like how you wouldn’t bring up your own lung capacity, 20/20 distance vision or excellent patellar reflex unless someone drew your attention to it). The chapter mostly serves to do some character set-up for later and drop some needed exposition so that Danny won’t have to be breaking the flow of future missions to explain very basic facts about his abilities the first time he uses them.

As for pulling his punches, some of it is certainly to do with him being uneasy about fighting breakable living beings when he’s used to ridiculously tough Ghost Beasts, and some of it was specifically due to who he was paired against. But again, that’s something we’ll explore in future chapters.

Pacing and Writing

At this point I can only put this down to lots of planning, drafting and taking inspiration from the styles and structures of some very, very good published authors. Quite a few chapters started out as simple exposition dumps or time skips before I realised that they’d have more value expanded out into full entries of their own. (My drafting process = step 1: write too briefly, step 2: balloon to massively bogged down self-indulgent explorations, step 3: reign it in to something readable).

Books I definitely took stylistic influence from:

1. Steig Larsson’s, Swedish crime-mystery series The Millenium Trilogy. Lisbeth is one of my character references for writing both Batman and Robin.(NOTE: Hard MA+ rating, cw for explicit discussions and depictions of misogyny, homophobia, violence, gendered violence, sexual assault, stalking, drug use and Nazis. Good books but Discretion Advised.)

2. Markus Zusak’s The Book Thief.General influence/ reference for prose and imagery, especially for the tone of Roads to Safe Places (ch.15).(Beautifully written story about humanity, but set in WWII-era Germany so be advised that Nazism, Nazis, War and Death feature heavily.)

3. Patrick Rothfuss’ The Kingkiller ChroniclesGeneral influence/reference for style and prose, YJ:DW Ch. 15′s title is a deliberate call out to the same title in Chapter 18 of KKC Book 1.(Fantasy books with some fantasy violence and a little bit of sex but nothing especially shocking.)

I’m just so excited to see them all go on a mission!!!

Me too! Quick question though:

Just one? Or are all of these okay? 😏

Now that I think about it there’s a weird dearth of story missions outside of the one needed for set-up in most YJxDP stories. Not sure why. Anyway, Deathly Weapons is a beast, we’re going to do at least 10. I gotchu fam.

Aaand I think that’s everything. Thanks for dropping in, feel free to stop by anytime. Hope to see you around! ❤

#young justice: deathly weapons #chapter 17 #In which I meet a wonderful person #strangelady1331 #3WD answers

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vateacancameos · 6 years ago

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Chapters: 1/1 Words: 2263 Fandom: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Autumn, Post-Canon, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, So much fluff your teeth will ache, Gen or Pre-Slash, we'll be getting into slash territory in the rest of this series, adorable Aziraphale, cranky crowley, but not really, he's too busy having heart eyes to put in the effort, Footnotes, gross overuse of footnotes, my footnotes have footnotes, buckle in people Series: Part 1 of Ineffable Seasons

Summary: Aziraphale coos all over autumn and Crowley tries to pretend he doesn't find it adorable.

Story:

Aziraphale takes a deep breath, a smile on his face, his whole being practically glowing. It’s disgusting. Crowley glances away so he can’t be pulled further into the entrancing vision in front of him. But he looks back as soon as his best friend begins speaking.

“Oh, isn’t it glorious? The crisp temperatures, the smell of falling leaves. Jumpers and cider. And pumpkins.” At this final word, Aziraphale breaks his beatific pose—hands clasped in front of his chest, the sun hitting behind him at just the right angle to give him a halo—Hela,[1] did this angel have no shame—to crouch down and pick up a pumpkin in front of him. He holds it under his arm and throws another smile at Crowley, which has Crowley sighing and rolling his eyes to once again protest this whole silly endeavor. How he’d let himself get roped into this inane activity, he’ll never know.[2]

[1] Crowley, tired of trying to figure out which entity to use when he experiences feelings, has recently started using made-up gods instead, starting with the gods of the underworlds. He hasn’t found one that works yet, but he’s willing to try them all if necessary.

[2] It certainly has nothing to do with the strategically sweet and pleading face that had greeted him when he’d entered the bookshop to pick up his favorite angel[3] for lunch.

[3] The only angel he even deigns to like, in point of fact.

“Seriously, angel?” Crowley asks, sliding his sunglasses down just far enough to allow Aziraphale to see the disbelief in his eyes. “Autumn is terrible. Now winter, that’s the best season. Everyone harried and worried about money. Slushy rain and wet socks. Furnaces that stall or overheat. People stuck in their houses wearing terrible jumpers, forced to interact with family members they hate. Shoveling snow, if you live in a place that has that. Yeah, winter is a good one …” He lets himself grow nostalgic, remembering his favorite winters past.

“Oh pish. I’ve seen you light up like a child when seeing Christmas light displays. The closest you get to Scrooge is as him on Christmas morning, buying up roasted meat for the poor children of this world,” Aziraphale argues with a fond eye roll.[4]

[4] Let the reader note that, in fact, the closest Crowley gets to Scrooge is when David Tennant voices Scrooge McDuck on the DuckTales revival, including a great Christmas episode that employs meta jokes that reference Doctor Who, another popular show David Tennant played a part in. This author suggests you check out both shows if you have not yet done so. She’ll wait for you to get back. Okay, back now? Good. That was fun, wasn’t it?

“That’s not– Ngh– I do n–. Stop it right now, or I’ll shove you into the back of the Bentley and take you right back to your bookshop, no cider and certainly no pumpkins.”

Aziraphale’s mouth drops open, and Hades help him, Crowley can’t tell how real or manufactured the look is. The angel often does an amazing impression of being completely innocent, but there are times that his naivety is real.

“You wouldn’t dare. You’re too–”

“Bless it,[5] angel, if you say nice–”

[5] Sometimes Crowley forgets and falls back on old curses and blesses. He’s been using them for millennia, after all.

[read the rest under the cut or over at ao3.]

Aziraphale shoots him an exasperated look. “Of course not. I was going to say you’re too invested in teasing me for my every autumnal exclamation today to back out now.” He raises an eyebrow in challenge.

Dear Persephone, he’s right. From the moment Aziraphale had asked for a ride to the autumn festival/pumpkin patch monstrosity,[6] Crowley had been coming up with ways to tease him for his love of the season and all its trappings.[8]

[6] Complete with corn maze, cider, too many games involving gourds, and a—he can’t believe he’s even thinking of it—a hayride. Really, humans are far better than he is at inventing pure misery.[7]

[7] Let the author again note how amazing she thinks autumn is. That being said, hayrides are itchy, dusty, and bumpy, and you’re stuck sitting far too close to excitedly screeching children. She doesn’t blame Crowley for hating them.

[8] Just wait until Aziraphale turns the tables at Christmas.

Crowley acquiesces with a flop of his hand that he knows Aziraphale will read as both “Fine, fine, you caught me, I want to tease you,” and “Fine, let’s go look at these gourds you’re so interested in. Did you by any chance spend too much time in the New World back when it was still new?”[9]

[9] It was only new to the dumb, egotistical Europeans, though. It was plenty old to the native peoples of that continent by the time the Europeans showed up.

Aziraphale beams, gently placing the pumpkin back on the ground and dusting off his hands and jumper.

“Did you buy that jumper just for today?” Crowley asks as they begin strolling through the pumpkin patch/festival/field of torture. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in one before.”

Aziraphale somehow smiles even more brightly. Crowley is glad he’s wearing his sunglasses.[10] The angel pats the fuzzy, cabled, oatmeal affair covering his upper body. “Do you like it? I saw it in a window display and it just called to me. And it was right after the weather began to turn, and I just had to try it on. And then it was so soft and warm, I couldn’t not buy it. It’s like being wrapped in a hug.[11] I thought today would be the perfect time to debut it. It might get regular rotation with my jacket this autumn and winter.”

[10] To shade his eyes from the terrible angelic brilliance, of course. It has nothing to do with hiding his reaction to said smile.

[11] Crowley would love to be wrapped in a– nope. Nope. That thought will not see the light of day.

“Mm hm,” Crowley responds, quite brilliantly. “Oh look, the cider booth.”

“Oh! Cider? That sounds lov–”

“I’ll just get one for you, shall I?”

He hopes Aziraphale will find another squash to coo over, but he feels his presence next to him as soon as he’s queued up, but he’s cheerfully quiet. They wait in comfortable silence for the people in front of them to get their ciders, Aziraphale’s wide eyes taking in every aspect of the event, and Crowley softens. He enjoys teasing his best friend—doesn’t think their friendship would have survived without it, and truthfully Aziraphale can give as good as he gets, so he doesn’t feel guilty for it[12]—but he also does genuinely enjoy seeing Aziraphale enjoying himself. That smile can have Crowley walking on air for days, even when it isn’t directed at him. It’s the reason he asks the angel out to lunch so often, despite himself being the type to drink his meal rather than eat it. There’s nothing better than watching Aziraphale eat. Or find a new book to fall in love with. Or … yes, even enjoy this absolutely awful season they currently find themselves living in.

[12] Not that demons ever feel guilty. Crowley makes a single exception for back in the beginning and the thing with the humans and the apple. But they don’t talk about that.

They finally make it to the front of the queue, where Crowley asks for one cider, extra cinnamon, for Aziraphale, and one mulled wine[13] for himself.

[13] Which the vendor is surprised to find she has, despite winter still being a good few months away.

They start strolling again, and Crowley lets the angel choose the direction, following along, like he always does, as he always will do.

“I don’t understand it.”

“No surprise there, angel. You may be smart, but sometimes daily life confuses you.”

“Oh hush, you,” Aziraphale admonishes with no heat, patting Crowley’s arm, which has unknowingly been tucked into by Aziraphale’s non-cider-holding hand. That’s been happening a lot lately, but Crowley’s not about to call attention to it, lest it stop. “What I meant was, you said mere months ago that—and I quote—‘I like spooky.’ At the old satanic hospital in Tadfield, if you remember.”

“If I remember? As if I could forget any part of that God-forsaken[14] week.”

[14] Yeah, he means that appellation there. Do you hear that, God?[15]

[15] Yes, She hears that. The author (and Crowley) would do well to remember that the game She plays is complicated and ineffable, thank you very much.

“Well, anyway. That’s beside the point. The point is, you like spooky.” Here, Aziraphale punctuates his words with more arm pats. “And autumn is when Samhain[16] occurs. You can’t have spooky without autumn.

[16] Pronounced saah-wn. Not Sam-hain, like they said on Supernatural that one time, which shows how little research TV writers sometimes do. This author is not stupidly obsessed with this fact. At. All.

Crowley rolls his eyes. “Most spooky these days is over-manufactured swill sold to the masses for profit. It’s torture porn or silly ghosts. None of it frightens me.”[17]

[17] Except the current U.S. president. Now that shit’s scary.[18]

[18] Head office tried to give him a commendation for that whole debacle, but he noped right out of that one.

“Torture porn?” Aziraphale asks, a disgusted and confused wrinkle in his brow.

“Yeah, porn is a term current humans use to mean anything over-indulged in, but it has nothing to do with sexual acts. Well, most of it. Like, torture porn, food porn, space porn.” Aziraphale looks more disturbed the longer Crowley speaks, so he waves it away. “Never mind. I’m just saying, none of that manufactured spooky does anything for me.”

They come to a booth with caramel popcorn, and without even looking at his angel, Crowley signals for a bag, handing it over to Aziraphale as he counts out the correct number of coins. Aziraphale sighs happily and begins munching on it immediately.

“You’re just a stick-in-the-mud,” he says, going back to their conversation.

“Excuse me? I’m the stick-in-the-mud, Mr. I’ve-worn-the-same-jacket-for-one-hundred-and-eighty-years?”

“You’d do well to remember your car is ninety years old.”

“Practically new compared to your old smelly coat.”

Aziraphale’s jaw-drop this time is definitely not feigned. “You take that back. You said it looked good on me.”

“Yeah, in 1840.”

Aziraphale looks truly hurt. “It’s my favorite,” he says quietly, and Crowley relents. He can’t not, when he’s up against that face.

“It’s a nice coat, angel. But it’s good seeing you in something else for once.”

“Thank you, my dear. But the point is, you have no room to call me a stick-in-the-mud. Autumn is wonderful, and you can’t take that away from me.”

Crowley tries and fails to hide his smile. “How’s the popcorn?”

“Perfect!” Aziraphale says, the glow coming back to him. “This is all perfect. The weather could not be more beautiful or autumnal. I can smell spices and caramel and corn husks. The pumpkins look a particularly brilliant shade of orange this year. There are happy people all around. It’s lovely.”

Crowley looks around, seeing a particularly fiendish child twirling his unaware sister’s hair around a candied apple—who he silently cheers on—a small toddler screaming their head off when their parental figure offers them a pumpkin, a couple fighting near the corn maze. The stench of city and human beings is far too strong to be drowned by the sweets and spices, though it does fight for dominance with the moldering leaves blanketing the ground. And though the weather is nice now, he can see a storm building in the distance. They’d do well to hurry through the rest of the festival before they get caught in a chilly downpour.

But He won’t suggest this. He’ll follow his angel as he coos at the children posing for pictures with goofy scarecrows, as he bounces over to the candied apple vendor for a (non-twisted-in-hair) treat, as he begs with his soulful eyes for a hayride. He’ll follow his angel to the end of the world. He’s already done so, and he’d do it all over again if he had to. He’ll let them get caught in the freezing, miserable rain because Aziraphale is too taken with the pumpkin carving contest to notice the darkening clouds, though he will miracle them dry as soon as he’s able. He’ll follow his angel back into his shop, lugging the bag of things Aziraphale didn’t have enough arms to carry himself, and too big of eyes and stomach to not buy.

Aziraphale will light a fire, make two cups of whiskey-spiked chai, and wiggle his way into his favorite chair in the back room. Crowley will follow, landing on the sofa that has molded to his angles and long legs. They’ll talk about Poe and Mary Shelley. Crowley will talk Aziraphale into watching Young Frankenstein. Then Aziraphale will beg to be allowed to read aloud “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar,”[19] and Crowley will concede it’s just a little spooky. Though only just a little.

And though he won’t say it out loud, Crowley will think that maybe, just maybe, autumn isn’t so bad, when you’ve got your favorite person by your side.

[19] Read it here.

#good omens #fanfic #autumn #autumn mood #ao3 #meagan writes

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hyperbolicpurple · 7 years ago

Text

ASOIAF cooking challenge: the Crownlands (with recipes)

more info below

I chose the Crownlands as my region to represent. All the dishes except the actual crown roast are represented in the books from chapters set in King’s Landing (all Tyrion and Sansa chapters, as you can tell from the menu). The actual crown roast symbolizes the crown itself of course, as well as honors Robert’s death by boar. ;) Hence the red sauce, also!

My goal was not really medieval authenticity--just something tasty that made strong connections to the dishes set in the books. While I consulted Inn at the Crossroads and A Feast of Ice and Fire, I mostly used them as a reference for finding food and dishes represented in the books and didn’t follow any of their recipes in particular.

SUMMER GREENS SALAD:

I wasn’t sure what exactly constituted “summer greens.” Some googling led me to various greens like Malabar spinach, dandelion greens, sweet potato leaves, etc, that I wasn’t going to find in stores (and it’s not summer here anyway). I ended up going with a spring mix with some watercress (named as a summer green in at least one article I read). The ingredients are all the same as listed on the menu, and the salad dressing came from a bottle, because who has time for that? Also I added edible flowers I found at Whole Foods, since I know they’re a medieval thing and they charmed me. I kind of want to grow edible flowers now.

CREAMY CHESTNUT SOUP WITH CRUSTY HOT BREAD

Ingredients:

3 slices of bacon, cooked and set aside

2 leeks, white and light green parts halved and sliced

2 parsnips, peeled and diced small

1 lb dried chestnuts, soaked in water overnight

1 c white wine (I used a chardonnay)

7 c chicken stock

1 c half-and-half

Instructions:

Add a few tablespoons of butter (or bacon fat) to a soup pot over medium-low. Saute leeks until soft.

Add parsnips, chestnuts, and white wine. Let the wine reduce by half.

Add the chicken stock and bring to a simmer. Let it simmer for 30 minutes.

Blend. (I used an immersion blender.)

Strain through a fine-mesh strainer, one ladleful at a time and pressing with the back of the ladle to coax the soup through. (Seriously, don’t try to pour a bunch in at once ... I had to start the process over.)

Add the half-and-half. Garnish with crumbled bacon.

Other Notes:

I actually forgot to use bacon, so it didn’t make it into the soup. Other people said they really liked the soup, but personally I felt the carrotty flavor of the parsnips overpowered the chestnuts and I couldn’t really taste them (which is a shame, because the whole reason I wanted to make this soup in particular was my love of chestnuts). If I try this again, I’ll probably swap the parsnips out for rutabaga, which simmers up sweet and very mild, and see if it tastes more chestnutty that way. I might also try fresh chestnuts instead of dried.

I entertained a notion of making bread from scratch and then decided, nah. That’s store-bought, my friends.

CROWN ROAST OF PORK WITH BUTTERED CARROTS

I got an 18-rib crown roast (!), which was more than 12 pounds and hella expensive, and there are a lot of leftovers because that was way too much meat for six adults and a child. I dry-brined the pork a day in advance with two tablespoons of table salt, some minced garlic, and a mix of traditional fresh and dried herbs. In the future, I would want at least 2-3 days for the meat to continue to brine itself.

I followed the Serious Eats crown roast recipe. It came out moist and delicious, but fair warning: it took three hours at 250F, not two, for the thickest parts of the chops to come to 140F. Dinner delayed. Also, I sadly didn’t get the “charred bone” look the SE article promised. I thought they would look authentic! Alas.

The sauce was a basic red wine pan sauce. I started with some butter and a diced shallot in a pan. After sauteing, I added half a cup of red wine and half a cup of chicken stock, along with about 2-3 tablespoons of cherry preserves. I let that reduce by about half, then stirred in 2-3 tablespoons of cold butter to thicken and emulsify the sauce. (Contra many recipes, I’ve never found room-temp fats to emulsify correctly.) (Tip: A lot of pan sauce recipes are frustrating because they’ll ask you to do reduce, like, an entire bottle of wine, which might literally take hours in my experience, and there’s no point that much sauce anyway! One cup of starting liquid was more than enough for all of us.)

For the buttered carrots, I simmered carrot coins cut on the bias until they were soft-ish, then added them to a pan with half a stick (four tablespoons) of butter. To this was added cumin, cinnamon, and ginger paste (I didn’t measure the amounts tbh), then a few long drizzles of honey and a bit of apple cider vinegar, which I let reduce again. They got a bit too soft like that; I would drain them earlier if I made this recipe again.

HONEYCAKES WITH BLACKBERRIES AND NUTS

I thought I had taken a picture of these, but apparently I didn’t. It’s a shame, because they’re cute!

Inspired by basboussa, Arabic semolina cake recipes soaked in rosewater or orange blossom water syrup, I made this semolina cake recipe, leaving out the baking soda (unless I missed something, there was no acid to react with it, so it wouldn’t do anything), and adding 1/2 c of sliced almonds and 1/2 c frozen blackberries halved/quartered to the batter. It made about 10 nice thick cupcakes, but you could make it 12 if you wanted. They baked at 350F for about 25 minutes.

For the honey syrup, I stirred together 1/2 c each honey, water, and white sugar and let it simmer and reduce a bit on the stovetop. When the cakes were done, I took them out of their tins (I have a square cupcake tin, so they came out squares) and put them in a 9x13 pan, poked some holes in the top with a fork, and drizzled all the honey syrup over and let them soak it up. It might seem like too much, but the cakes are up to the task! They were really delicious, IMO. The best part of the dinner. But then, I love sweets.

Although this wasn’t on the menu, I served them with iced milk sweetened with honey. I gently heated a half-gallon of whole milk and stirred in about a cup of honey, then splashed some half-and-half in for creaminess. Medieval milk had cream in it, didn’t it? So that’s totally authentic, right? ;) VERY GOOD. And rich. And good.

#asoiaf cooking #asoiaf #food #recipes

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manjuboy · 8 years ago

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SLBP lords modern college au headcanons

I made a shit post about what if the lords were buddies at college and not trying to kill each other over divine rule.

Sorry there’s no MC here cause I wanted to focus on the brotherhoods…but you can insert her in and run with it.

Halfway through, it occurred to me this is centered around yasu’s assholeness and yukkin’s misery.

Inspired by all those slbp modern au headcanons going around on tumblr.

Ieyasu:

studying medicine? god save the people pharmacology? bioscience? criminal profiling? because evil understands evil criminology consultant?? more like consultancy for criminals

campus Mr White but he works alone bitch/weed lord, kojuro is his no.1 loyal customer.

to mitsubun’s disgust, he’s also an avid reader……of Nietzsche, Dostoyevsky, Machiavelli…so also, edge lord.

has his own room cause no one dares to room with him he’s rich and his granddaddy tadatsugu’s the faculty dean

helps???out in the school infirmary sometimes. yukkin is a regular due to sports injuries. he blackmails yukkin to buy daifuku

Mitsunari:

literature? teaching??

one time he put out a sign saying he’s looking for a roomie and yasu applied. that day is never spoken of in campus. mitsuhide comes by and is so overly compensating and considerate mitsubun has to agree. they bond over their senpais and live happily ever after. hide says its fate and yasu refers to them as thing 1 and thing 2.

he and mitsuhide are usually seen at the library together. the two nerds.

Hideyoshi:

PR? international relations? psychology??

most loved dorm RA, fav TA.

works at the neighborhood café with masa. they are hella good at baking.

Yasu keeps threatening bribing people to buy the ichigo daifuku for him.

great at food porn photography. he and masa are in charge of the café instagram.

helps out the school counseling office. one time he gave yasu and mitsubun punishment for school property damage by making them babysit at a childcare centre.

got asked to do nude modeling for the art students cause have you seen his bod

Inuchiyo:

sports science? vet??

resident dog sitter/walker, especially for shingen. one time for nobu and one time as a cat caretaker for mitsuhide.

always challenging hideyoshi to an arm wrestling competition ever since he lost.

he and yukkin are gym buddies

Nobunaga:

politics? business management?

holds the biggest, best parties where everyone gets piss-drunk.

food taster for hideyoshi because hideyoshi cannot trust mitsubun to give honest objective feedback

probably head of student council and holds all sorts of crazy events when he gets bored.

also head news editor and runs the sauciest, juiciest articles.

Mitsuhide:

another literature nut? law? journalism?

his roomie used to be kojuro until he could no longer stand the mountain of trash semi-important documents on kojuro’s side of the room. their room smelled like weed, books and bad poetry

works for the school newspaper and is forced by nobu to sneakily take photos of people. ends up asking saizo for help

Yukimura:

sports science? maybe he’s aiming for the national soccer team or some Olympic sport.

gets to knows shigezane when yukkin sleeps over one night after a Halloween party gone wrong.

gets introduced to masa whom he had always thought of as standoffish, until he realizes the guy’s as big a cinnamon roll as himself. they become bros afterwards

he and shigezane secretly feed this rabbit kept for dissection class and smuggle it out one night

Saizo:

idk languages? security management for his intel spy training? maybe he’s just an average guy studying creative writing

secret online smut writer with kojuro. they met at nanowrimo. hey he gets paid for it ok.

mitsuhide gets most of his news sources from saizo.

probably earns extra income as a phone sex worker. rooms with yukkin, so when he does his job, yukkin stammers a lot and plugs in his earphones or seeks shelter with shigezane. until he stumbles upon his secret porn stash

Shingen:

business?

rooms with inuchiyo and has a huge black dog (kurokumo) which he leaves with inuchiyo to take care of when he’s not around.

friends with Nobu cause their dads are old business rivals

saizo references him for his fics

Kenshin:

Fine arts? Museum hoarding curating??

Yasu says he should get a My Strange Addiction/Hoarders series starring himself

really good at ikebana. he and yasu each have their own sections in the community garden. sometimes they trade weeding/gardening tips

tadakatsu thinks he’s a fellow masochist in-between yasu’s insults and kanetsugu’s homicidal scolding

Masamune:

idk business? culinary arts?

hideyoshi’s baker partner. yukkin’s his fav customer and he always saves him a donut. though sometimes he wonders why the guy stammers so terribly when ordering daifuku

meets inuchiyo who’s out walking the dogs during his morning jog. he then helps take care of the animals when inuchiyo is busy. Yukkin and shigezane join them sometimes.

the Date and Kai boys like to hang out at his room ever since the porn incident with shigezane and kojuro’s room is just a no-go zone.

gets teased together with yukkin a lot and they both look at each other helplessly wondering why.

Kojuro:

shigezane gets suspicious of kojuro’s meetings with yasu, stalks him and worries for his future.

rooms with kenshin, who appreciates the beauty of his poetry and neither of them minds the mess treasures in their room.

saizo interviews him when writing daddy kink

Also, sorry I tried my best but I couldn’t think up more for some of the characters and I haven’t been on everyone’s routes yet.

I shudder to imagine what the chapter titles may be if this were a fanfic: pardon me for Ieyasu’s butting in

noodle brat goes to college, or yasu forgets all about granddaddy tadatsugu’s lectures

pretty boys growing flowers and weed

mitsubun looks for a roommate and accidentally summons a demon

hideyoshi’s baking genius, or yasu tests hide’s delicacies for drugs because they cannot be that good

no one dares to go to the infirmary now

icha icha smut tactics

in which noodle brat is disgruntled people are fearing him less

yukkin is now a drug mule?!?!?!!

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industry5566-blog · 5 years ago

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Pumpkin seeds are an exceptional supply of phytoestrogens

How to make roasted pumpkin seeds at home. Mound the dried seeds onto the ready baking sheet. watermelon seeds health snack are an exceptional supply of phytoestrogens, and research have shown that pumpkin seed oil can help improved levels of HDL healthy”cholesterol, decreased diastolic blood pressure, and decrease symptoms of menopause (especially, lowered severity of hot flushes, headaches, and joint pains). Roasted shell-on pumpkin seeds make a wonderful snack or trail mix add-in. Pumpkin seed extracts and oils have extended been utilized in therapy of Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH). After you have scooped all the seeds out of the centre of your pumpkin, wipe them with a paper towel to get rid of any excess pulp that might have stuck to them. Just one particular serving of pumpkin seeds can supply 14% to 42% of the daily target for these essential nutrients. Your go-to Halloween candy gets a crunchy seasonal refresh with the simple addition of yummy pumpkin seedlings. The ODS recommend eating seeds as a supply of vitamin E. The following day you will toss the dry seeds with some olive oil and garlic salt and roast them till toasty and golden brown. Then, toss them with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and ground thyme or rosemary to taste. Use a robust metal spoon to scrape the insides of the pumpkin and scoop out the seeds and strings. Pumpkin seeds are also not a typical trigger of allergies and intolerances. Krimer-Malesevic V, Madarev-Popovic S, Vastag Z et al. Chapter 109 - Phenolic Acids in Pumpkin (Cucurbita pepo L.) Seeds. Influence of pumpkin seed proteins and pumpkin seed phytonutrients like lignans on the activity of a messaging molecule referred to as interferon gamma (IFN-gamma) is likely to be involved in the antimicrobial benefits related with this meals. Eating the shells only adds to the seeds' high fiber content material, which has been related with a decreased risk of heart disease and obesity. Right after you rinse and pat dry the pumpkin seeds, you will toss them with butter, sugar, salt, and a bit of cinnamon. I ll try that and just yesterday did 7 old soggy pumpkins for the pumpkin and seeds. Ever since, I've been fine with baking pumpkin seeds proper soon after towel drying. Pumpkin seeds are also high in antioxidants and other nutrients that can contribute to wholesome testosterone levels and enhance general wellness. Containing a range of nutrients ranging from magnesium to copper, protein and zinc, these power seeds are bound to make snacking a healthy affair. If you have time, permit the seeds to air dry additional for about 30 minutes. Stir seeds with oil in a medium bowl. Add salt and any other preferred seasonings (such as Shawarma or Curry), and toss to thoroughly coat. Just rinse the mass of seeds and strings beneath cool water and the seeds will separate effortlessly. It sort of seemed worthwhile, although: With a tiny elbow grease, I, as well!, could turn challenging seeds from a carving pumpkin into high-priced delicate ones. Pumpkin seeds are a single of the best all-natural sources of B vitamins, such as thiamine, riboflavin, niacin and pantothenic acid. Siegmiund B and Murkovic M. Changes in chemical composition of pumpkin seeds for the duration of the roasting procedure for production of pumpkin seed oil (Component 2: volatile compounds). Pumpkin seeds are higher in Tryptophan, an amino acid that further converts into Serotonin in the physique, making sure a sound night's sleep. Just as in pine nuts , pumpkin seeds too are very wealthy sources of manganese (supply 4543 mg per one hundred g, about 198% of everyday-advisable intake). Add in the pumpkin seeds, and then swirl about with your hand or a spoon to dislodge any of the pumpkin "gunk." Let rest for five minutes. A lot more study is required to confirm these beneficial effects of pumpkin seeds on blood sugar levels. Smaller sized seeds will require much less time than bigger ones. They could be tiny, but pumpkin seeds are tiny powerhouses of nutrients and health positive aspects. I like to shop cooled roasted pumpkin seeds in an airtight container (I use Stasher bags or canning jars ) in the pantry for up to 3 months.

Hi Shirley, We bake the seeds in a 350F oven. Bring a saucepan of filtered water (1 tablespoon salt per quart of water) to a rolling boil, then add the cleaned pumpkin seeds and boil for ten minutes. Pumpkin seeds are a wealthy supply of antioxidants, magnesium, zinc, and fatty acids that are superb for your heart wellness. The seeds are a organic supply of tryptophan that promotes sound sleep. Pumpkin seeds to the rescue. Only breast cancer and prostate cancer seem to have received a lot focus in the analysis globe in connection with pumpkin seed intake, and much of that interest has been restricted to the lignan content of pumpkin seeds. Ranch can be a challenging flavor to replicate at house, so if you have a specific powdered ranch dressing packet or recipe that you like, you can also just toss the seeds with that soon after they have their olive oil bath. Burpee pumpkin seeds are ideal for any house garden. Pumpkin seeds are wealthy in nutrients and could have several wellness rewards. Just a quarter of a cup of these seeds equals half your advised every day amount of magnesium. In a single study, scientists discovered that 100 grams (g) of pumpkin seeds contained 90.69 milligrams (mg) of magnesium. You can add lots of distinct flavours to your seeds prior to roasting. My tried and correct strategy that I've created soon after years and years of roasting pumpkin seeds. Whilst roasted pumpkins seeds are most likely ideal recognized for their part as a perennial Halloween treat, these seeds are so scrumptious, and nutritious, that they can be enjoyed throughout the year. I love everything about pumpkins , which includes their seeds. But, I hope this approach will take some of the frustration out of preparing homemade pumpkin seeds. Then discard any bits of stringy pulp just before putting pumpkin seeds into a colander and providing them a excellent rinse. Whole roasted, unshelled pumpkin seeds include about ten milligrams of zinc per three.5 ounces, and shelled roasted pumpkin seeds (sometimes known as pumpkin seed kernels) include about 7-8 milligrams. Spread your clean, dry pumpkin seeds on the baking sheet evenly. Learn some of the wonderful well being benefits of pumpkin seeds and why you should get some of these ‘super-hero' seeds into your diet program. Using a sharp, sturdy knife, reduce around the best of the pumpkin and get rid of the lid.” Utilizing a big spoon, scrape the sides of the pumpkin to take away the seeds and pulp. Blending pumpkin seeds with tomatillos and coconut milk adds a hearty earthiness to this delicious sauce. Halloween isn't the only time to roast pumpkin seeds, though. Most hopper feeders are produced for a wide range of seed, so they are fantastic for distributing pumpkin seeds. Whether or not you are seeking for healthier recipes and guides, loved ones projects and meal plans, the most current gadget testimonials, foodie travel inspiration or just the perfect recipe for dinner tonight, we're right here to assist. In a medium bowl, toss the pumpkin seeds with the olive oil and sea salt. When you're scooping out all of that slimy, seedy goop just before carving your pumpkins this season, never pitch it in the trash. Substitute pumpkin seeds for pine nuts in your preferred pesto recipe. That is simply because store-purchased pumpkin seeds - ever more well-liked since they're straightforward to consume and loaded with nutrients - might be loaded with salt as properly. The fibrous strands can be challenging to take away, but we have a trick for that: Rinse the seeds in the colander under cold running water. To do so, very first get rid of the seeds from the pumpkin's inner cavity and wipe them off with a paper towel if required to remove excess pulp that might have stuck to them. Pumpkins seeds also contain overall health-supportive phytosterols, such as beta-sitosterol, sitostanol and avenasterol. Add the seeds to a colander, wash and eliminate any pulp left on the seeds. Right now, China produces far more pumpkins and pumpkin seeds than any other country. It is essential not to exceed the 20 minute roasting time, due to an unwanted change that would happen in the fat structure of the seed, which would diminish the nutritional advantages.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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Sean Penn Wrote The Worst Novel In Human History, I Read It

Sean Penn recently released Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff. It is, ostensibly, a novel. Sarah Silverman compared Penn to Mark Twain and E.E. Cummings. A Kirkus reviewer equated him to Kurt Vonnegut and David Foster Wallace. Salman Rushdie declared it a book that Thomas Pynchon and Hunter S. Thompson would love, possibly because he longs for the good old days when people wanted him dead. It’s telling that all these figures of comparison are incapable of disagreeing because they’re either famously reclusive or dead. Having recently read Bob Honey, I am confident in declaring it the literary equivalent of renal failure.

Amazon

To help you prepare yourselves, here are just a few of Penn’s many atrocities against the English language (he really likes alliteration):

Evading the viscount vogue of Viagratic assaults on virtual vaginas.

Criminal crumbs and corresponding celebrity crusts, bound together by dough.

This goat-backed lioness began to hoot like a bruxism bedevilled banshee.

The (Barely Existent) Plot Is Complete Nonsense

Perhaps the only thing you need to know about Penn’s book is that the brief first chapter, about three elderly people getting murdered in their retirement home, is called “Seeking Homeostasis in Inherent Hypocrisy.” Penn writes like he’s looked up every single word in his thesaurus except “dictionary.” He uses unnecessary terms, then provides 70 footnotes to explain the definition of the unnecessary terms, because he assumes that his readers aren’t at his level of intelligence. In a way, he isn’t wrong.

Here’s a typical sentence, in this case describing a woman: Effervescence lived in her every cellular expression, and she had spizzerinctum to spare. Penn thinks that if less is more, then more must be incredible. He writes novels like they’re a high school essay he’s desperate to pad.