#clearly very high effort serious art from me.

[grainthief]

[seungkwansphd]

fixer upper

pairing: minghao x reader wordcount: 9.5k summary: you love your friends dearly, but do they really think that they can match make for their resident matchmaker? minghao’s certainly interesting, though, so maybe you can fix him up with someone else instead. genre/themes: s2f2l. “beg” minghao. LOTS OF PLOT with eventual smut. slow and i mean SLOW burn. some member slander(affectionate), lol. set in the ‘we get along infamously’ universe.

a/n: i have nothing to say for myself regarding the length of this.

    You tapped the bartop impatiently as you waited for your blind date to show up. You couldn’t believe that Danbi had roped you into this, but you had lost the game of darts fair and square. As a result, you were here waiting for a man named Minghao to show up. Part of you really wanted to skip out on this, because you just did not trust Danbi’s romantic sensibilities. She had dated a string of truly boring and strange people for months before you had finally set her up with Seungcheol. There was no way this Minghao was going to be anywhere near suited for you, but you were a person of your word, so you would do the date and be done with it.

“Hey, are you YN?” a voice called from above your left shoulder. You turned your head to see a tall, lanky individual with dark hair looking curiously at you.

“Yes, are you Minghao?” you sat up straight, fixing him with a smile. He wasn’t your usual type, physically, but you couldn’t deny he was handsome.

“Yes, nice to meet you,” he smiled, taking the barstool next to you.

“So how do you know Danbi?” you asked after he had ordered with the bartender.

“Ah, so,” Minghao looked almost sheepish, “I helped Jeonghan get together with the person he’s dating now. One of my close friends! And so I met Seungcheol and Danbi through Jeonghan.”

“Oh?” you calculated the degrees of separation quickly in your mind. “So you don’t really know Danbi at all, then!”

“Not well,” Minghao shook his head. “I was kind of surprised when Jeonghan told me that she wanted to set me up on a date.”

“I-,” you laughed, somehow relieved to find out that this hadn’t been any serious effort on your friend’s part. “Honestly, thank god! No offense to you, I obviously don’t know you, but Danbi historically has not impressed me with her taste in men.”

“No offense taken,” Minghao chuckled, bringing his cocktail to his lips for a quick sip. “So does that mean you’re the resident matchmaker in your friend group as well?”

“Very much so,” you nodded, “So I’m not sure exactly what Danbi thinks she’s up to, trying to take my title. In fact, I bet even I could set you up with someone better! And I don’t even know you at all!” you blustered.

“Oh really?” Minghao’s eyebrow raised. You were funny.

“What, you don’t believe me?” you furrowed your brows at him.

“I mean, no one is a better matchmaker than me, so my bar is pretty high,��� he replied smugly. “I’ve only ever had one couple break up, and it was due to one of their jobs making them move away.”

“Out of how many?” you found yourself curious.

“...Eight?” Minghao had to tally in his mind quickly.

“Hah! That’s nothing!” you waved him off easily, “I’ve successfully set up eleven couples and none of them have broken up yet!”

    Minghao smiled, amused by your bright and confident energy. While you clearly weren’t suited for him, he found himself wanting to beat you at your own game.

“Set me up then,” he invited confidently. “But I bet I can find you a match sooner than you can find one for me.”

“Oh?” you grinned at his gamelike proposal. Before you even knew it, the words came out of your mouth, “You’re on!”

    Minghao laughed, shaking your hand enthusiastically. You spent the rest of your “date” exchanging phone numbers and excitedly reviewing each other’s basic likes and dislikes. Minghao wasn’t your type, but he certainly was interesting! He worked in HR for a tech company, had interests in art and fashion, and also had trained in mixed martial arts as a child? Quite a strange array of hobbies, but you were so going to win this thing!

…

“So, how did it go?” Minghao’s voice sounded slightly tinny through your headphones.

“Not good,” you were almost excited to report on how badly the date had gone. “I would rate your matchmaking skills like a 4 out of 10 right now!”

“Excuse me?” Minghao stopped in his tracks. Surely he had misheard you.

“Four. Out of ten.” you repeated yourself, grinning at the way you could tell he was surprised by your feedback.

“No, that can’t be right.”

“Allow me to elaborate,” you pressed on as you decided to take the long way home so you could regale Minghao with every last detail of why your date with Wonwoo had not been stellar. “First…could you have found someone more quiet or disinterested to have set me up with? You’d think I was trying to pull his teeth out!”

    Minghao squeezed his eyes together. He and Wonwoo had built up their rapport over many years and he’d somehow forgotten just how tight-lipped his friend could be when meeting someone new.

“Also his only hobby seems to be gaming? I don’t know anything about that nor do I have an interest,” you continued. “Ah, it’s so nice out!” you commented as an aside while you pulled a pink bloom to your nose to inhale.

“Oh are you outside?” Minghao couldn’t help but ask.

“Yep, I’m walking home!” you nodded, “Oh I’m glad I took the long way! I forgot how much I like this park.”

“It is a nice day out,” Minghao looked out the glass panes of his office. He was painfully close to the end of his day and truth be told, he was excited to run out the clock with you on the phone. “So anyways, where are my four points coming from, because I haven’t heard anything positive yet.”

“Oh, well, I mean. I’m going to chalk that up to Wonwoo’s looks, really. He’s unbelievably handsome. Almost too handsome!” you threw your hands up in the air, drawing a few odd looks from other pedestrians.

    Minghao laughed. It was true, Wonwoo was probably his most conventionally attractive friend, so it wasn’t a surprise to hear you say it too.

“Okay, so then…very cold on the personality traits, but very hot on the physical features. I can work off of that,” Minghao nodded, scanning through his mental roster of friends. Luckily, Wonwoo was probably the most introverted of them all, so it could only go upwards from here.

“Yep. Oh which! I have a candidate for you,” you clapped excitedly as you waited for the crosswalk to turn green. “My friend Yena!”

    Minghao nodded contemplatively as you rattled off the list of compatible points that you saw for him and this Yena. He had his doubts, but he put your proposed date and time in his calendar. A deal was a deal.

“Okay, I’m almost home, so I’m going to hang up now! I’ll text Yena to confirm! Eee, I’m excited to hear what you think!”

“Okay, bye,” Minghao laughed, glancing at the clock again. It was officially quitting time, so he packed up his bag and headed out of the office. You’d been right, it was a beautiful day out, so he decided to switch up his commute as well. As he walked, he found himself wondering which park you had passed through on your way home.

…

[yn]: ‘sooooooo…………yena?!?!???!’

[minghao]: ‘6/10’

    You narrowed your eyes in disbelief. Six out of ten?!

[yn]: ‘BE SO FUCKIN FR RIGHT NOW’

[minghao]: ‘no, I actually really liked her, but she said she doesn’t eat chinese food?! i can’t live like that’

    What? Surely you had eaten Chinese food with Yena before, right? You racked your brain, but unfortunately came up empty handed. You had to admit, that was a big blind spot on your part.

[yn]: ‘.........i guess that has never come up before. my bad! i know that’s important to you’

[yn]: ‘i’m still up 2 tho! 6 against your 4.’

    Minghao threw his head back to laugh. You were so competitive.

[yn]: ‘ok feedback on other qualities tho! plz & thank u’

    Minghao waited, an amused smile on his lips, for your three dots to vanish before providing your requested feedback. As he had said, overall he had quite enjoyed meeting Yena. She had been a little quiet and shy at first, but had opened up quite a bit as the date went on. They shared an interest in art and had had quite a nice discussion before she revealed that she did not like Chinese food. Normally an aversion to specific food wouldn’t bother Minghao so much, but after moving, it was important for him to continue to engage with his culture and food was a major way in which he did that.

[yn]: ‘ok, got it, got it. that makes perfect sense’

    A soft smile settled on his lips. Minghao was glad that you weren’t taking too much offense to his negative feedback. Part of him was glad that the date hadn’t gone that well and he was sure that it was just his competitive nature. It would have been humiliating for him if you had actually found him someone perfect on the first try.

[minghao]: ‘what are your plans for the weekend?’

[yn]: ‘theres a textile and apparel exhibit opening at the folk art museum that i wanted to check out’

[minghao]: ‘oh?? i was planning to go too! when are you going?’

    You cocked your head curiously at your phone. That was weird. But you realized it would be very helpful to observe Minghao in the wild so as to do a better job choosing prospective dates for him. Then you could review your roster of candidates for him after the museum, so it could be a productive time! With a fluttery feeling in your chest, for whatever reason, you chose a meeting time to visit the museum with Minghao. Together.

…

    You tapped your fisted hands against your hips as you scanned the crowds for Minghao. It had been a few weeks since you had first met him in person and you had an unreasonable worry that you’d forgotten what his face looked like. Glancing at your watch, you wondered if you had gotten the time wrong.

“YN!” a clear voice caught your attention.

“Ah, there you are!” your face cracked into a smile up at Minghao. “Ok, I’m glad I decided to dress up!” you exhaled with relief after taking in his outfit. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d said he was interested in fashion.

“This outfit is very cool,” he nodded approvingly, eyes raking over you. An unreasonable warmth spread across you at his assessment. You had spent longer than usual picking and re-picking necklaces to match the hardware on your boots. It was nice to see that it was appreciated.

“Thank you!” you beamed up at him, eyes creasing into semi-circles. “Now let’s go!” you gestured forcefully at the museum entrance.

“Okay, okay,” Minghao chuckled goodnaturedly, allowing you to lead the way.

“Holy fuck,” you breathed, hands fisted in excitement as you peered closely at the thread and beadwork on a contemporary bobbin lace exhibit. “Unreal.”

    Minghao had to do a double take. Your mouth had fallen slightly open, enthralled, as you took in the detail and your eyes were as wide as saucers. You looked like a cartoon frog.

“You’ll catch a fly like that,” he teased, slipping two fingertips under your chin to snap your mouth shut.

    You narrowed your eyes at him. If you’d learned one thing today, it was that Minghao was quite prone to teasing. It was a good thing that you had agreed to this museum trip after all, because otherwise your list of next candidates would’ve been wildly out of order.

“Do you want to see the other exhibits too? Or are you only interested in fiber arts?” Minghao asked, looking up from the museum layout map.

“No, I’m interested in all mediums!” you nodded at him. “I just think textile arts have been woefully excluded from the mainstream art world because, you know, misogyny,” you rolled your eyes theatrically at him as you followed his lead. “So I am particularly interested when museums put together exhibits like that!”

    Minghao’s lips pinched slightly in amusement. He agreed with you, of course, but he found your animated enthusiasm in high contrast to the serious backdrop of the museum hall. He led the way to one of his favorite areas and you two passed the rest of the afternoon walking through the displays in contemplative quiet.

“I’m hungry,” you frowned as you left the museum.

“Me too,” Minghao grabbed at his midsection. “Let’s go find something to eat!”

“There’s a Chinese restaurant around here that I like! Let’s go there!” you suggested. Minghao nodded furiously, stomach grumbling insistently at him.

…

    You glanced at your date out of the side of your eye as you wondered how rude it might be to just leave. While Joshua was certainly your physical type, all arms and chest, you quickly found out that the contents of his brain were just not for you. You weren’t religious at all and if he broke out into song, singing ‘Sunday Morning’ at or near you one more time, you might actually run away.

    After going through the motions of saying goodbye, you pulled your phone out to dial Minghao as soon as you started walking home.

“Hello?” he answered, sounding slightly groggy.

“I need to understand your thought process with this one,” you shook your head in disbelief.

“Huh?” Minghao rubbed his eyes, pulling his phone away to check who had called. “Oh, hey! Sorry I just woke up.”

“Oh, did I wake you up?” you paused, “Shit, sorry! You didn’t have to answer me!”

“I didn’t know it was you! I also hadn’t meant to fall asleep,” Minghao chuckled and you heard some rustling of sheets in the background. “Sorry, what did you ask me again?”

“I need to know why you set me up with Joshua,” you frowned. “Do I give off a vibe that he’s my type?”

“Is he not?” Minghao wondered, “He’s more outgoing than Wonwoo, still handsome, and family oriented.”

“Okay, those things are true, but he’s also super religious, which I’m not. And I do not like to be sung at in public…or at all, I don’t think.”

“No, please,” Minghao started laughing, “Did he? I didn’t think he’d bring that out on a first date!” Minghao couldn’t stop laughing, practically kicking his feet in delight at the absurdity of it.

“Yeah, several times, in fact,” you rolled your eyes.

“Why are you so difficult to match for?” Minghao found himself asking. He was partially teasing, but also somewhat serious. People generally threw themselves at both Wonwoo and Joshua, so to hear you be so turned off by them was surprising and confusing.

“I’m not difficult! I think my expectations are more than reasonable,” you nodded firmly to yourself.

“Okay, elaborate on these expectations, please, because I’m clearly missing the mark.”

“Hm, well, okay. Someone funny and intelligent with a wide variety of interests or knowledge. Someone who would challenge me in ways that make me grow. Someone who also can understand that I should have my own endeavors and activities without feeling insecure. I dunno, someone who just gets me!”

“Very reasonable,” Minghao’s flat voice came back across the phone.

“It is reasonable!” you stamped your foot. You felt like he was teasing you again, but it was hard to tell over the phone.

“No, that’s helpful!” he clarified.

“Why are you asleep at 8pm anyways, you old man?” you suddenly remembered.

“Ugh, it was a long day,” he groaned into your ear, “I had to get to work early to prepare onboarding materials for new hires and then when I got home, I just passed out I guess.”

“Ah, well, do you want me to let you go? You should go back to sleep and catch up on yesterday.”

“No, I’m up now,” Minghao shook his head, reluctant to end the phone call. “Tell me about the restaurant, was the food at least good?”

    You smiled, happy to stay on the line with him. The food had indeed been good and you described your meal and cocktails to him in vivid detail. You were now in your second month of knowing Minghao and your relationship had evolved into a tentatively comfortable friendship. Between all of the set up activities, you’d actually gotten to know him a bit and grown used to discussing and sharing other aspects of your lives. Minghao was definitely an introvert, but he was well balanced with an energy and enthusiasm that ensured you were never bored.

…

“Wait, I’m confused. You told me that the date with Minghao didn’t go well, but you’ve stayed in touch with him?” Danbi’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“What are you confused about? That’s exactly right,” you returned her confused look.

“Why would you stay in touch with someone you don’t like?”

“I never said I didn’t like him!” you shook your head, confused at her statement.

“You liked him, but the date didn’t go well? Why wouldn’t the date go well if you like him?”

“I can like him as a friend and not want to date him!”

    Danbi narrowed her eyes at you. She didn’t think you were that petty, but it was almost as if you were purposefully maintaining a distance between yourself and Minghao just to spite her.

“So what do you two talk about?” she was curious.

“We’ve been setting each other up on dates! Supposedly he’s the friend group matchmaker, like me, but he’s pretty bad at it,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “But we talk about other things too! He likes art and fashion. We went to the textile exhibit opening a few weeks ago.”

    Danbi shook her head; she was lost. Wasn’t that just a date? Luckily she knew you better than to prod too much further.

“Well that’s good! It’s always nice to make a new friend,” she smiled at you, “He should come to Soonyoung’s housewarming party next week!”

“Should he?”

“Yeah, of course! Jeonghan will be there and I think he invited a few of his coworkers too so see if Minghao wants to come!”

“Ah, I guess so,” you nodded, somehow nervous, “I’ll ask, but no promises.”

“Sure!” Danbi laughed, “Now let me show you some pictures of Doyun with Jeonghan and his new partner! Who you also have to meet!”

You giggled happily as Danbi flipped through her photos. Doyun had always looked more like Seungcheol as a baby, but now that he was getting older, he was taking on more and more of your friend’s features.

“Ah, he looks so much like you there! Ahhhh!” you shook your fists excitedly.

“He does look more like me recently, doesn’t he?” she beamed proudly at you.

    For all the headache you had posed to her with this Minghao situation, she did love you and was grateful towards you for gently nudging her towards Seungcheol many years ago. You were very astute at reading others and as a result, she now had a wonderful husband and son. It had always interested and amused her that your insightfulness didn’t quite extend to yourself.

…

“Eeeee!” you and Soonyoung clapped your hands together excitedly after you’d sunk another ping pong ball into a plastic cup.

“Just perfect! Look at that technique! You duds don’t stand a chance!” he crowed, jeering at Seungcheol and Seokmin excitedly.

    Danbi giggled excitedly at her husband’s rotten luck, to which Seungcheol pouted.

“Ya! Who are you even cheering for?!” he shouted playfully, leveling an accusing finger at his wife, inspiring another round of giggles.

“Me, of course! I can find her another husband, she can’t find another me!” you laughed, jumping up and down in delight at the way that Seungcheol fumed.

“You’re dead!” he furrowed his brows at you, “You’re so dead!” He made a show of stretching his neck and shoulders before taking his next shot at beer pong.

“Hah!” you shouted and shook Hoshi excitedly, collapsing into a puddle of laughter as Seungcheol’s ball ricocheted dramatically off of the rim and bounced anticlimactically across the ground. “Oh no, oh Cheol please I’m crying!” you hiccuped, wiping your eyes.

    Minghao had slipped in quietly while you were taunting Seungcheol and he was shocked at the way you did it so loudly and unapologetically. He didn’t know Seungcheol quite that well yet, but he had been under the impression that he probably shouldn’t be messed with too much. A smile toyed at the corners of his mouth before he moved away to grab a beverage.

“You made it!” Danbi appeared at his side while he popped the cap off of a beer.

“Hi Danbi,” Hao smiled kindly at her. He had met Danbi through Jeonghan a while ago and for whatever reason, she had really taken a shine to him.

“Did you find the place alright?”

“Yes, YN’s instructions were very easy to follow.”

“Great! Let me know if there’s anyone here that you haven’t met yet, but I think you may know them all!”

    Minghao nodded. Looking around the room, it did seem like he knew most of the attendees. Jeonghan and his girlfriend were flanked by a few of their other coworkers. By some miracle Seokmin and Seungcheol had both managed to find babysitters tonight, and so were able to attend with their wives, Hana and Danbi. Joshua was on another date, after he and YN had not managed to hit things off, so Jeonghan’s friend group was short just one of the usual count.

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” you laughed with Hoshi after winning yet another game of beer pong. You and he had been nearly undefeatable since college and it was nice to see that this hadn’t changed, even after he had moved away for a few years. “Oh pink?” you wondered aloud when you spotted Minghao chatting with Jeonghan over a beer.

“You’re here!” you interrupted their conversation easily, fingers itching to touch his pink hair. “Is this a fade out color?”

“Yes,” he laughed, “The murder scene every time I showered was starting to get old.”

“I can’t believe your hair hasn’t just fallen straight out of your head,” Jeonghan’s girlfriend shook her head with a laugh.

“Hah!” you laughed heartily, struggling to imagine Minghao bald.

“I’d love it if you didn’t curse me with this foul energy,” he rolled his eyes at all of you.

“Did you all see how I swept the floor with Seungcheol? Again?” you crowed excitedly to Jeonghan.

“Yes, yes, very good,” Jeonghan rolled his eyes at you. You were always such a braggart about pong.

“I can’t believe he lets you tease him like that,” Minghao gestured to Seungcheol incredulously.

“Ah, I’m a lovable scamp!” you shrugged, sticking your tongue out at your newest friend.

“That’s true,” Hao laughed, a soft smile crossing his face.

    Jeonghan and his girlfriend both looked at Minghao with interest while your attention was pulled elsewhere. Danbi and Hana summoned you from across the room so you gave everyone a small wave before you left.

“So-,” Jeonghan opened his mouth to dig, but his girlfriend stopped him with a quick shake of her head. She knew Minghao would not respond to anything that direct, so it was best to meddle gently.

“What is it?” you asked once you were close enough to Danbi and Hana for them to hear you.

“We were wondering if Minghao had set you up on a successful date yet?” Hana asked, “If not, I actually met this kind of cool guy at the school yesterday.”

“Oh, no, not yet. I actually need to follow up with him on that,” you shook your head.

“Follow up? You’re being so project manager-y about this,” Hana laughed.

“I mean…it is a project that I’m managing,” you flushed, already knowing that you would say no to Hana’s proposed guy.

“Well, what do you think? He came to service the computers, so he works in IT. He’s tall, pretty broad, and has a very nice smile.”

“What’s his personality like?” you queried. It didn’t make any sense at all, but for whatever reason you felt guilty of the idea of being set by someone other than Minghao.

“I didn’t get to talk to him too much, but he seemed nice! He volunteers at an animal shelter.”

“Aww,” Danbi cooed excitedly.

“You’re going to make fun of me for saying this, but I don’t think I care,” you inhaled deeply before rejecting Danbi’s proposal. “It feels weird to think about going on a date with someone that Minghao doesn’t pick for me. So I kind of want to see how things play out with that?”

“I’m not going to make fun of you!” Danbi looked at you indignantly.

“I am!” Hana made a face at you, “You are so attached to him, like come on YN!” she gestured forcefully at you.

“Of course I’m attached to him, we’re friends!” you shrugged. “I’m attached to you doofuses too,” you gestured back with your palms up. Hana and Danbi laughed. Your love language was, indeed, teasing and they’d grown used to it long ago. You were watching them whisper to each other suspiciously before Danbi jutted her chin out, pointing at something behind you.

“Oh, JESUS!” you jumped after realizing Minghao was standing behind you. “Snuck up on me, fuckin’ hell,” you mumbled curses as you put a few paces between him and yourself.

“Let’s go play beer pong. Apparently you’re unstoppable and I need to witness this for myself,” he smirked, giving you a disbelieving once over.

“Don’t…,” you found yourself shivering under his gaze, “Look at me like that! I will win,” you let yourself think that you had recovered smoothly.

    With each ball that Minghao sank into your cups, you stood up just a little straighter and your expression grew just a little more baffled. You’d never been in such a closely matched game of pong before and, honestly, you didn’t care for it.

“Hey, let’s make this more interesting,” Minghao spoke up when you were each down to one cup. You raised an eyebrow at him, gesturing for him to proceed with his idea. “If I win, I take you out on a date.”

“I-,” you choked, heart clogging your throat momentarily. “What?”

“For research purposes,” he clarified, triple checking his foot placement as he squared up his aim. “You can give me feedback and that’ll help me better tailor my matches for you in the future.” He launched the ball into the air and it sailed into your final cup easily.

“I-, wait,” you stuttered, partially in disbelief over your loss and partially for a reason that you weren’t able to identify yet. Your mouth opened and closed a few times before you could accept it.

“What, are you scared?” Minghao stepped towards you. He felt a perverse joy in the way you were reacting to his win. Something about seeing you flounder tickled his brain very specifically.

“You lost fair and square!” Soonyoung waved you off to make room for the next players.

“What exactly would I be scared of?” you blustered as Minghao herded you away from the table. “A date with you?”

“Scared you’ll like it,” he laughed, peering down at you, stepping into your personal space just slightly.

“Hah!” you let out a honking laugh. That was absurd, right? “Fine, take me out on our little date. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of feedback.”

“Great,” he grinned at you, patting you on the head condescendingly.

    You were baffled. You could tell you were blushing and you weren’t really sure if you could just blame it on the beer pong loss. You snuck a glance at Minghao, whose attention was back on the party, watching Soonyoung trounce Seokmin quite soundly. He was right, you were terrified for this date.

…

“Ugh you look so cute!” Hana squealed excitedly, “It’s such a shame it’s just for a practice run!”

    You chuckled. Sure, it was true that this date with Minghao was just for research purposes, but it hadn’t stopped you from thinking of it as if it were real.

‘wear a dress or skirt. something short or unrestricted at the bottom and shoes you can move in’ was all of the instruction that Minghao had given you.

“Maybe he’s taking you dancing?” Hana wondered aloud. “It’s kinda romantic that he’s keeping everything a surprise!”

“So romantic,” you parroted at her sarcastically.

    You didn’t know why, but you felt quite nervous about this one. You had been on more than your fair share of first dates recently, so it really didn’t make sense to feel this way about the fake one. Probably just because everything was a surprise.

“Ya! Why am I nervous!?” you jumped up and down aggressively, shouting at yourself.

    Hana shrugged, even though she knew the answer. Best to let you come to your own epiphany. She fretted and cooed the appropriate amount as she helped you finish your makeup and hair. You were satisfied when you looked in the mirror, but that didn’t make your armpits any less sweaty. Thank god for prescription grade antiperspirant.

“Ready?” Minghao greeted you at your door with a bouquet of flowers around half an hour later.

“I think,” you eyed him suspiciously, still irked that he hadn’t spilled a single clue about your activities.

“Put these in water so we can go!” he thrust the bouquet at you impatiently.

“Okay, okay,” you muttered. You scanned the blooms quickly and were pleased and surprised that all of them were cat safe. He’d remembered. You grabbed an empty jar and plunked the stems into it before returning to Minghao. “Is this outfit acceptable?” you paused to check, turning in a full circle so he could inspect.

“Yes,” he nodded, eyes full of something you couldn’t quite place, but it vanished just as quickly. “Now let’s go! We need to be on time.”

    Minghao shepherded you into the car and drove towards your destination. You were, strangely, at a loss for words and so spent the time inspecting his car and marveled at how clean it was. Usually you couldn’t stop yourself from babbling about nonsense at him, but this simulated date seemed to have rendered you speechless. As he pulled into the parking lot, your eyes lit up reading the sign.

“Hana was right!” you grinned at him triumphantly. “It is dancing!”

“Yes,” he chuckled at your expression. It wasn’t like you were the one who had guessed right, but he’d never know that with the way you beamed at him. “Intro to Rumba! I thought it’d be fun to try something new together.”

“Rumba?” you thought hard. You weren’t well versed in ballroom dance styles, but the name rang a bell. You had definitely seen it on a ‘Something-est Things To Do With Your Partner’ kind of list. “I don’t know how to dance,” you whispered to Minghao as the other students filtered into the class.

“That’s why it’s fun,” he grinned down at you.

    After beating you at beer pong last week, Minghao had been itching to get the upper hand on you again. While he wasn’t very skilled at ballroom, he did have some dance experience from his past. Rumba was also fairly sensual in nature and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to watching you squirm and be flustered over it.

    With your hands tucked behind your back, you watched intently as the instructors demonstrated the short routine that you would work on during class. You did your best to keep your cool, but you felt like everyone probably heard the sound of your loud gulp as you registered just how close together you would be with Minghao. There was probably technically some distance between the instructors, but not that you could see with the naked eye.

    Minghao blinked a few times as he watched the demo with you. This was closer quarters than any other style of dance he had ever tried before and he wondered if he had made a mistake.

“Okay, right hand to left hand. Leading partner’s right hand on the following partner’s waist. Following partner’s left hand resting gently at the back of the leading partner’s neck,” the instructions came.

“Okay, right hand here, left hand here,” you muttered to yourself as Minghao clasped his left hand into your right and you hooked your left hand around the back of his neck. You managed to follow the first set of steps without tripping over yourself too spectacularly, but the next combination threw you for quite the loop.

“So now comes a sexy part,” the instructors grinned mischievously, “Leading is going to spin the following out and then pull them back in to face them. And then following partner is going to drop in a slow and sexy wiggle, their hand trailing down the leading partner’s chest.

    Oh. Your lips pursed as your mind painted the mental picture of what that would look like. You resisted the urge to glance furtively at Minghao, pink rising in your cheeks.

    Next to you, Minghao blinked. Once, twice, and then one more time for good measure. He had been so busy considering how this class might affect you that he hadn’t even thought of himself. The idea of you trailing your fingertips down the centerline of his chest made him want to shake his head furiously.

“Five, six, seven, eight!” The rapid counts snapped both of you out of your thoughts. “Spin out!”

    You held onto Minghao’s fingers tightly as you spun away from him.

“Fancy arm!”

    You flung your arm out theatrically and were inordinately pleased to make Minghao laugh.

“Now tuck your arm as you spin back in!” the instructions continued.

    You bit your lip to keep from laughing before you brought your arm back to your center and spun into Minghao’s chest. Slowly, your hips drew figure eights as you worked your way down into a squat and your eyes followed your hand’s slow trail down his chest. Like watching a train wreck.

    Minghao looked to the instructors for the next directions, desperate to be not looking at you. He wanted to groan. Even in this wordless touch, you were mischievous, not drawing straight down, but rather trailing a wavy line, timed with the movement of your hips on the way down.

“Now leading partner, you are going to pull them back up! Forceful! Dramatic! What are they doing down there? They’re up to no good!”

    You had wanted to laugh, but when Minghao dragged you back up to your feet and looked deeply into your eyes…all of that went out the window. For a moment, the directions barked by the instructors faded into the background and all you could hear was a soft buzzing in your ears as you held his gaze.

“Very good, very good you two!” the instructors clapped excitedly as they walked towards you. “Tension! Eye contact! That’s what the rumba is all about, excellent!”

“Thank you!” You almost shouted. You were so excited to be able to rip your eyes away from Minghao that you plastered a wide grin across your face and gave an awkward thumbs up to the whole class.

“How do you do this dance without falling in love with each other?” another student wondered aloud.

“You don’t!” the instructor replied with a laugh. “Every so often you get a pair that falls in love and gets married, but in general you break up but you keep dancing together because you have good physical chemistry.”

“Yikes.” you turned to Minghao with a bemused look on your face. You were relieved to see that the tension seemed to have dissipated and he found your instructor’s comments as strange as you did. The rest of the class passed with relative ease, but the feel of his fingers resting at your waist and nipping into your hips certainly lingered longer than was ideal.

“What’d you think?” Minghao asked as he started driving to the next destination.

“That was fun,” you nodded after some consideration. “Definitely out of the box and a new experience for me. Also a very good way to gauge physical chemistry. Honestly a very good early date activity. Ten out of ten.”

    He preened under your compliment. You wondered what your next activity would be, but knew that asking would get you nowhere, so you tried to fill your brain with other thoughts. After a while, you ran out of things to think about and your eyes decided to regard Minghao as he drove. His right hand lingered at the gearshift, fingers tapping every so often as his eyes stayed glued to the road. You shifted in your seat as you watched the tendons of his forearms flex in a very distracting way. The way he looked when he was focused was…unfortunately attractive.

    Minghao could feel your eyes on him as he drove. He struggled to keep his attention on the road as his mind played back snippets from class. Namely, the moment when he had pulled you back up to your feet and locked eyes with you for just a little too long. Your eyes had widened and your lips had parted just slightly as you gazed back up at him and rational thought had almost left him completely.

“No, Minghao! Really?!” you squealed excitedly as he pulled into the parking lot of the botanical garden. “You remembered!”

“Of course,” he nodded, parking the car. You had mentioned the Poisonous Plants special exhibit off-handedly a few weeks ago and he had filed it away in his brain. He liked the botanical garden too.

“Look how beautiful!” you gasped as you looked at the Atropa belladonna, or Deadly Nightshade. “I can’t believe a flower this beautiful is also poison! Isn’t that cool? Such a good name too.”

    Minghao chuckled. You were making your little frog face again. He didn’t know if he thought of poison as cool, but he enjoyed seeing your excitement over such a morbid topic. The expression you made when you were enthralled by something was painfully endearing to him.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you wrapped your arms around him excitedly as you headed towards the exit archway of the garden.

“You’re welcome,” Minghao was surprised by your sudden physical affection. “You’re such a nerd, I’m glad you had a good time,” he teased as his arms folded around your waist naturally.

    You wrinkled your nose at him playfully. You couldn’t help the slight hitch in your breath before you pulled away, looping your arm in his happily as you walked through the other areas of the garden. This closeness grew less and less foreign as the day went on and was directly correlated to your concern for your own sanity.

…

“So…what do you think?” Minghao inquired after you had settled in at your table at a rooftop restaurant and bar. He really enjoyed the ambiance here and thought you’d enjoy the food as well.

“Of?” you replied blankly, having been busy reading over the menu.

“Our date?” his brows creased together, he had not been expecting that response.

“Oh! Good! Really good, actually,” you nodded, trying to speak of it in a detached way. “You did a really good job picking activities and this restaurant. This menu is so interesting! But at the same time, I feel like you are at an unfair advantage because you know me pretty well by now. I don’t think this is a reasonable expectation to have for a first blind date. I also probably wouldn’t agree to so many things in one day with them, because what if we didn’t hit it off? Also wouldn’t let them drive me because what if they’re a murderer?”

“You think I’d set you up with a murderer?”

“You never know,” you shook your finger at him playfully, “People are full of surprises, unfortunately.”

    Minghao watched you as you watched the sunset. He agreed with you, this had been a really good date. For whatever reason, you had leaned into the physical affection at the botanical garden and it had made his brain go haywire. He found that he not only didn’t want this date to end, but he wanted a second and a third (maybe to infinity) with you. He wanted to watch you try really hard at things that you had never done before and wanted to watch you make your little cartoon frog face when you were delighted by something.

“What?” you asked, turning back to meet Minghao’s lingering gaze.

“Nothing. I’m just having a really great time with you today,” he smiled back.

    Your smile faltered as your heart pounded. You searched his face for some hint that he was teasing you, like usual, but it wasn’t there.

“Minghao!” an excited voice pulled your attention away suddenly. You turned to see two men, one tall and muscular and the other slighter and shorter.

“Mingyu, Jae,” Minghao waved at them easily, “Coworkers,” he explained to you as they approached. “This is YN.”

“Oh, are you on a date?” the taller man’s eyes flitted between you and Minghao, slowly coming to a realization.

“Wait no. YN. No, they’re not dating!” the other man interjected as he connected his brain cells, “Jeonghan told me about this! You two have been setting each other up on dates, right? Or something like that?”

“That’s right,” you laughed, “So sorry, who’s Mingyu and who’s Jae?”

“Ah, sorry, yes,” Minghao chuckled, “Mingyu and Jae,” he gestured towards them respectively.

“Nice to meet you,” you smiled, unable to help the way your eyes raked over Mingyu. He was your exact physical type and his eyes sparkled obviously at you when he talked.

“Well, we’ll get out of your hair! We were on our way out,” Jae nodded at you after not too long.

“I hope to see you again sometime,” Mingyu smiled at you, leaning down for another handshake before they left. Minghao bristled.

“Him,” you turned to Minghao, oblivious to his irritation. “Set me up with him, he’s my exact type!”

“Mingyu?” Minghao’s nose wrinkled slightly. “You don’t even know him.”

“He’s so hot though,” you exhaled theatrically, not really caring what his personality was like when he had a body like that. “That’s what a blind date is for, right? Blind to the red flags that I don’t want to see.”

    Minghao scoffed at your absurdity. On the one hand, Mingyu was a perfectly nice guy. Maybe too eager and bubbly for you, but he trusted that he could treat you well. On the other hand, he had just been grappling with the idea of wanting you for himself, so the two sides of his brains clashed violently and he really had no explanation for the next word that left his mouth.

“Beg.”

“Excuse me?” you must have misheard him.

“Beg me. And I’ll set you up with him,” he leaned back, smirk playing across his lips as he teased you mercilessly.

“P-please?” you stuttered, thighs pressing together inexplicably at the look on his face.

“Cuter,” he goaded you, tongue tracing across his lips as the flush rose in your cheeks. Your heart threatened to stop.

“Hao, please?” your eyes became doe-like and your lower lip pouted out just slightly. You didn’t even know why you were humoring him, you’d never let a man make you beg for anything before.

“There, see? That wasn’t so hard,” he sat back up, clearing his throat slightly as he glanced away. “I’ll set it up,” he nodded, heart sinking in his chest.

“Great,” you smiled, chest feeling tight. Your heart was racing.

…

    You found yourself perplexed and kicking a small pebble down the sidewalk after your date with Mingyu. It wasn’t that it had gone poorly, no in fact just the opposite. You were surprised that he had even been available to be set up because he was, on paper, perfect. He was funny, sweet, eager and all in that body? It was simply unfair.

    No, the thing that you were confused and frustrated about was that you didn’t really want to go on another date with him. For whatever reason, the only feeling you could muster for him was a lukewarm fondness and it really made you mad. Typically, you would call Minghao to debrief, but you were mad at him too! Your date with him last week was the reason the bar was so unreasonably high now, after all.

“Damn,” you sighed to yourself as you gave the poor pebble another swift kick.

…

    Minghao glanced at his phone, irritated to see that you still hadn’t messaged him with any updates. Dinner had to be over by now, right? Normally you at least snuck away to text him from the bathroom, so for his phone to be this dry could only be a sign that the date had gone well. Probably too well.

[mingyu]: ‘dude! YN is wonderful! thank you for setting this up!’

[hao]: ‘ah, so it went well?’

[mingyu]: ‘i think so! she’s cool as hell man’

[mingyu]: ‘she makes such a cute face when she gets excited’

    Minghao saw red for a moment. The intensity of his jealousy caught him by surprise and he had to reign himself in before he replied to Mingyu’s text.

[hao]: ‘yeah, i like her too, lol’

    Minghao threw his phone onto the sofa. Stupid idiot.

…

[hao]: ‘are you ever going to admit defeat or are you going to just ignore me forever?’

    You had been doom scrolling in bed when his text appeared and before you knew it, you were calling him.

“Hey,” his voice was soft when he picked up. The way his heart had jumped when he’d seen your incoming call was unreasonable.

“Hi,” you greeted him, your voice sounded small.

“So…,” Minghao waffled. He didn’t really want to talk about Mingyu, but he wasn’t really sure what else to talk to you about. “Mingyu said he liked you.”

“Oh, did he?” you chuckled, “He seems like the type of person that likes everyone.”

    Hao laughed because you weren’t wrong.

“It went well, though, right?” He wished that, like all the other dates, this one had been a dud too.

“It was okay,” you shrugged, “I don’t see myself going on another date with him though, to be honest. He’s a little too…I don’t know?” you trailed off trying to explain.

“Oh?” Minghao’s voice piqued with interest, “Well I’m starting to run out of friends,” he joked.

“I don’t think I want you to set me up with any more of your friends,” you sighed. “No more first dates for a while, I think.”

    Minghao froze as he saw his opening. He knew he would forever be kicking himself if he didn’t take the shot now.

“Are you home?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, I’m in the middle of errands, but I’ll be there in ten. I have to ask you something in person.”

“Oh okay.”

    Minghao didn’t leave much more room for discussion as he hung up and turned the car around, driving towards your place. You checked your appearance nervously as you waited.

[hao]: ‘here’

    Your pulse pounded in your ears as you opened the door for him, more nervous now than you had been for your date.

“Hi,” he greeted you from under a black baseball cap. It was annoying how he looked so good in it. “Can I come in?”

“No,” you joked as you opened the door for him.

“So no more first dates, does that mean you’re officially tapping out of our game?” he asked, looking down at you.

“N-,” your instinct was to push back, but he was right this time. “I mean, yes, I guess so. I’m tired of this meeting people business, I just want to spend time with people that I already like.”

“Would that include me?” he grinned, stepping towards you and until you backed into the kitchen counter.

“I-, I have mixed feelings about you,” you answered honestly, unable to meet his gaze.

“Can I take you out on a second date?” he ducked his head towards yours, hands coming to rest at your hips.

“I-,” you squeezed your eyelids together. In the past you would’ve panicked, but this closeness was now familiar to you and you only wanted to sink into it further. “Maybe you should beg this ti-,” you raised your brows, flicking your eyes mischievously to his.

“Ah!” Minghao cut you off sternly. “I’d think twice about that.”

“But-,” you couldn’t help yourself.

    He cut you off with a firm grip at the base of your throat. His longer fingers tapped against the side of your neck as he regarded you sternly. “Will you behave?”

    You knew you should say yes. Part of you might have even wanted to say yes, but you were you to your core. “Maybe.”

“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” he teased you in a sing-songy voice. “Where’s your bedroom?”

“There,” you pointed to a door towards your right. Without so much as a warning, you found yourself being hauled and plunked onto the edge of your bed.

“You have been driving me crazy for months, so let’s see if I can return the favor,” he looked down at you, tongue poking in his cheek.

“Months?” you wondered, thighs squeezing together nervously.

“Yes, months,” Minghao reached out and patted you on the cheek condescendingly. “So picky and difficult about every single person that I set you up with. Were you doing it on purpose or did you really not notice?”

“Not on purpose! They just…,” you trailed off sheepishly.

“What’s that? Speak up.”

“They sucked cause you’re bad at picking,” you squinted at him defiantly. You hated that you loved the way he was treating you.

“Try again?” he grabbed you around the jaw, his fingertips pressing your lips into an unflattering fish face. You could see in his eyes that he wouldn’t humor you for much longer.

“They weren’t you,” came your muffled reply, your lips moving in an exaggerated manner between his long fingers.

“One more time?” Minghao’s eyes danced at you, fingers relinquishing their grip. He wanted to hear it again, clearly.

“They weren’t you!” you replied, sickeningly sweetly eyes creasing into sarcastic half moons as you smiled at him.

“Tch,” he scoffed, pushing you back onto the bed and climbing over you. “You are so difficult,” he shook his head as his eyes raked across you, admiring your shape. “You’re lucky I like you.”

    You let out a simpering sigh as his lips nibbled from just behind your earlobe down to your collarbone. His teeth nipped roughly as his fingertips trailed from your knee to your hip and gripped tightly.

“Hao,” you sighed, “Kiss me?”

“Hmm, do you deserve that?” he rebutted, pulling back to look in your eyes.

“Please?” you pouted, tugging at the front of his shirt. “I’ll be good.”

“Somehow I don’t believe you,” he laughed, his lips grazing yours.

“Minghao, please,” you insisted and he indulged you.

    Minghao brought his lips to yours, kissing you thoroughly. His hands kneaded possessively at your hip as you nipped at his lips. Your kisses were peppered with soft moans and exaltations.

“You make such desperate sounds,” he teased appreciatively. You flushed at his description, but he wasn’t wrong. “Lay back and let me appreciate you,” he pressed a kiss to your temple before helping you undress completely.

    Starting at the bottom of the bed, he trailed soft, plush kisses from your ankles to your knees and then from your knees to your hips. He nipped, bit, and sucked his way up your inner thighs until you were glistening and slick for him. His fingers pried your legs apart, allowing him to taste you for the first time.

“Hao!” your thighs closed instinctively around his ears as he lapped long, leisurely strokes with his tongue. You heard him chuckle as he gripped above your knees, holding you open for him. He teased you with his hot breath, enjoying watching you shift and writhe, just for him.

“So gorgeous,” he rested his cheek against your thigh for a moment, enjoying the way your chest heaved with shallow breaths as you came down from the edge for the second time.

“Ming-hao!” you squealed as he brought his lips back around your clit, sucking with a torturous pressure. “I-, I-, I,” you malfunctioned, hand gripping his hair tightly as you came hard against his lips.

“Very good,” he grinned up at you, his lips and chin glossy with your slick. “Can I finger you now?”

“I mean, yes?” you laughed nervously, a little concerned at what his hands would be able to achieve after experiencing his mouth alone.

“Don’t cum until I say so,” he directed as his fingertips slid through your wet folds. “You are so wet,” he commented offhandedly as he pressed two fingers in a v-shape against you, squeezing around your swollen clit. Your mouth formed a silent ‘o’ shape as he ground his fingers against you, avoiding direct contact where you wanted it most.

“Hao,” you cried, hand resting around his wrist as you squirmed helplessly under him. “Why are you torturing me?!”

    Minghao paused for a moment. He supposed he was going a bit more out of his way to undo you than was typical for him. It wasn’t fair, but his pent up jealousy was manifesting and you were there to pay the price.

“Are you telling me you don’t like it?” he asked, cocking his head at you.

“Well, no,” you blushed, sinking into the pillow shyly.

“Then let me torture you a bit, sweetheart,” he grinned sweetly at you, fingers pinching together firmly around your clit again. “You’re so incredibly wet, just for me?” he marveled rhetorically as he slid two fingers into you, parting your wet, warm walls.

“Yes,” you nodded, pressing your hips up to meet him. You rolled your hips, desperate for as much as he would give. “More,” you begged until he added a third finger, stretching you slightly.

“Look at you,” Hao cooed appreciatively, nipping at your upper thigh as he stroked his fingers in and out of your deeply. The scrape of his teeth oversensitized you suddenly and you became a whimpering, desperate mess quickly.

“Hao, please, darling,” you clutched at him urgently, “I need, please let me cum!”

“Cum for me, darling,” he cooed the pet name back at you as he kept up the pace until you had collapsed into a pile of mush for him. “So good,” he praised you, pressing soft kisses along your jaw as you recomposed yourself.

“Blurple?” you asked, now that you had the presence of mind to register his hair color. “This is pretty,” you grinned, running your fingers through the colorful strands.

“You’re pretty,” he nuzzled you gently, fingertips trailing across the underside of your breasts.

“Oh,” you flushed.

“You are.”

“You are…wearing too many clothes,” you observed impishly, fingers tugging at his waistband. He laughed as he helped you shrug off his layers.

“How would you like me?”

    Minghao visibly thought as he slipped on a condom. “You would look absolutely gorgeous on top of me, riding me,” he smiled.

    You flushed, grinning at his flowery praise as you straddled his hips, grinding yourself along his length. Your hands splayed across his chest and you took a moment to admire his lithe physique. “So handsome,” you whispered before lowering yourself onto him slowly.

“Fuck,” he hissed as you took him in completely. The tendons in his neck were taut as you drew back up and back down.

“You feel good, Hao,” you breathed, holding onto him for support as your hips found a comfortable rhythm. Each stroke, each intrusion made you shudder with pleasure and the wet sounds were joined by your soft moans and Minghao’s tense hisses.

“You feel incredible, petal,” he grabbed you tightly around the ribcage, bringing you down on him with slightly more force. You faltered at the additional impact.

“I’m so close,” you leaned forward, looking directly into Minghao’s eyes. Nodding, he gripped your hips, grinding your clit against his pubic crest as he bucked up, deeply, into you.

“Come with me, YN,” he coaxed breathlessly. The way he purred your name undid you. An anguished wail left your lips as you clenched around him, triggering his release as well.

“So did I earn a second date?” Minghao teased as he folded you into his chest, cuddling you closely.

“I think you might have,” you grinned up at him, pressing a soft kiss to his nose.

“Danbi is going to be happy when she finds out about this,” Minghao chuckled into your hair.

“Oh we’re never going to hear the end of it,” you moaned. “Maybe let’s no-”

“Ah,” he reached to press your jaw shut and you stilled. You delighted at this subtle, domineering action. Quite a match indeed.

[imthepaladin]

Animation styles

Cuphead

The most impressive thing about Cupheads animation is that every frame of every sprite was hand drawn, making everything feel much more alive. However, this takes a lot of effort and wouldn't translate well into my game.

Adventure time

Adventure time is a more modern take on 'rubber hose' art style (compared to Cuphead, which looks a lot older and 'of its time') making its characters expressions and action very over-the-top and defined. I like the style but it's likely too childish for my game.

Risk of Rain 1

The first Risk of Rain's darker, more militaristic art style gives the sense of a cruel and unfeeling world, where everything is either dead or out to get you. This is a style that may be more fitting for my game, especially the design of the final level, the UES Contact Light (seen above) with it's metal walls and almost factory-like theme.

Enter the Gungeon

Enter the Gungeon's animation (and overall art style) has some nice shading that may work well in my game. Additionally, the bounciness of the characters when they walk may also be something I add to my game.

Castle Crashers

A perfect blend of goofy and serious is what makes Castle Crasher's animation stick out to me so much. Like adventure time, the animation is mostly silly but has it moments of high detail and seriousness. I don't think my game can take anything from it though.

Hollow knight

Different characters are presented clearly in Hollow knight's animation. Sword fighters have quick and fast animations, whereas old and big enemies have slow and bulky movements. I love the the clear animation, and could adapt it to my game.

Across the Spiderverse

Like Hollow Knight, the many different characters in Into the Spiderverse are designed and animated in unique ways to clearly show their differences, such as Spider-Punk looking like the 70's era of punk whereas Spider-Gwen's universe looks a lot more hand drawn. Another great thing about it is the whole thing is animated to look like a comic book.

Wallace and Gromit

Wallace and Gromit was animated using stop motion of hand-made plasticine models. This gives it a completely style unlike anything else covered here by being something different to look at. The animation style also somehow fits both Wallace's bubbly and bouncy personality and Gromit's more sarcastic and silent personality.

Gravity falls

Gravity Fall's is a lot more 'realistic' of a cartoon compared to Adventure Time (ignoring all the sentient gnomes and evil triangles) and it is represented in it's animation style as characters move more akin to real humans in other cartoons like the Simpsons.

Classic Tom and Jerry

The animation style in the classic (and even more modern) Tom and Jerry perfectly portrays the borderline torturous slapstick humor with grossly overexaggerated faces after getting crushed by an anvil or getting a tail set on fire. These faces are similar to Adventure Time or Cuphead in the fact they all have scenes where they're overexaggerated, but I think Tom and Jerry goes above and beyond in this regard.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

howdy ! i've never been matched up before and saw you were doing them so i'm curious to know who you'd match me with ^-^

i think i'm supposed to give a little description of myself first right ? Here i go

i'd say i'm a really stubborn person who doesn't care about others opinions and walk by my own rhythm but my anxiety has kept me from doing so and made me really shy and introverted , if i asked a friend to describe me they'd probably say anger issues (i've been getting better from them and that makes me really proud) and that i'm a people pleaser, i like helping others even when ik they wouldn't do the same for me ( don't put me in the same room as azul cus ik he'll scam me 😭) my hobbies consist of drawing and listening to music , i really like to try my hand at any type of arts and crafts but if I don't get if right the first time i'll probably give up on it 😅

okay so relationship wise i'm looking for someone extroverted who will make time for me and communicate with me , i'm tired of introverted boys who don't put any effort and don't communicate and just let me do all the work . i just want someone who i feel comfortable with , who ik i can joke with without walking on eggshells around them , someone who can be my bedt friend and lover , I mostly show affection through teasing and joking since i have a hard time talking about my feelings .

for the additional information: i'm an Aries sun , Leo moon , and Sagittarius rising and i'm an intp if that helps

sorry this ended up being way too long and clearly i talked as if i was at a therapy session but i hope you don't mind and find time to do my request,if not please just ignore this 😅

I AM HONOURED TO WRITE YOUR FIRST MATCH-UP! *shoots self-love at you* Oh, here he is!

Kalim Al-Asim

Before everything else, he’s your friend. There to support you in his optimistic, sunshiney, well, Kalim, way. Even before ~da romance~ he is very forward with his feelings and would casually say, “I love you!” But one day everything just came together and he realized that yes, he loves you, and not in a friend way!

Yeah, the two of you are both people-pleasers, but through some growth together, you can both put your foot down and assert yourselves! Kalim will be there to reassure you in anxious situations as well. But he likes seeing you walk to the rhythm of your own drum.

He would giggle and tease you back, albeit his teasing is very lighthearted. He takes the joking like a champ, and you need not to worry about walking on eggshells around him.

Kalim is an open book, he may be busy, but he’ll set aside time for you… or just ditch his duties :D Why would he want to discuss silk prices when he could hang out with his favourite person?!

Even though he would be super excited to see what you created in your sketchbook, he also respects your boundaries. He may ask, but he won’t push. He is your number one supporter though. You don’t like it? Well, Kalim thinks it’s lovely!

Speaking of art, if he so happens to overhear that you want some high end supplies, well, you are now set for life! Kalim would also make you some drawings, or add a post it note on your sketchbook. “This is STUNNING! But not as stunning as you! :D ”

Impromptu dance party! He likes listening to music with you, be it just sitting quietly and moving his head to the rhythm with you, or dancing about and laughing. He would also invite you along to Light Music Club if you ever wanted to see him perform. “This one is for you, my sweet bee!” *queue drum solo*

He would also be there, and be more serious if you wanted to tell him something; be it something small that was bugging you, or something heavy that was weighing you down. He may be cheerful, but he knows when something is on your mind.

"You know, I'm always here if you want to talk, sweet bee."

Hope you like your match-up, Melice! Also, it's an honour to write your first one!

Yes, he calls you his sweet bee; people may think you're "angry" but he just sees a sweet friend trying to live their life. Plus, he also took note that you like the lil fuzzy pollinators, so you are now Sweet Bee!

[big-lonely-idjit]

I was tagged by @sothischickshe (thank you!!) to list my favorite first-watch movies/films seen in 2023. These jumped out at me and are listed from most to least recent release cuz of reasons:

1. They Cloned Tyrone (2023) - I. Love. This. Movie. Great talent and serious shiz in a fun, lighthearted way.

2. The Festival (2018) - I love festivals so I was interested, the liberation and adventure worked and were a lot of fun.

3. Tully (2018) - After trauma, our minds really can do crazy, unexpected things. Usually movies show detrimental effects. It’s great to see the ultimate positive impact.

4. Ip Man (2008) - After Rogue One I needed to see more Donnie Yen. I added all the Ip Man movies to my queue. And, since dubbing turns my stomach and watching subtitles takes effort I didn’t watch until the movies were about to leave. Forced to stop procrastinating, I watched the four movies and they’re really good. Ip Man is so humble and modest and skilled, yet no one will listen to him unless they get their ass kicked. Which is convenient.

5. Trick ‘r Treat (2007) - I’m not sure how I missed this, exactly. It may not be high art, but it has its twists and morals, and they pay off.

6. Infernal Affairs (2002) - Too many cop/gang movies have too many needlessly complex twists (Looking at you Scorsese). In this movie everything is organic.

7. To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar (1995) - I’m kicking myself for never having gotten to this. I meant to. It’s really good and very similar to The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

8. Reckless Kelly (1993) - Had I known Yahoo Serious had made another movie, I would’ve seen it immediately. I loved this! He took the Ned Kelly story, made it his own a bit, and it sort of feels like if Buckaroo Bonzai were more of a Robin Hood love story. This man is so bright, I wonder why we don’t see more of him.

9. Bringing Up Baby (1938) - What a great movie with the greatest stars! I love Cary Grant, of course. Like, who doesn’t. And I love Katharine Hepburn. I assumed she’d be Katharine Hepburn in this movie—tough, masc, wearing pants—just sexy Kath. I was completely unprepared for her to come on screen and be the sweetest, most kittenish woman ever. I knew she could act but was not ready. That makes everything she does even more of a flex. Very stressful and sweet rom com.

Honorable Mention:

Mr. Vampire (1985) - I loved being introduced to a clearly influential horror/comedy genre I didn’t even know existed. I loved that it looked like it was made in the 50s but was showing some time in the way back. And the recurring cast in different roles/stories into the sequels has kind of a Cornetto vibe.

Not sure I know 9 people so tagging @supernovaodessa @hayleylovesjessica @manicmoonbug @dissimulations @dietcokeandnotebooks @left-the-porch @jadziwine if you feel like it.

[scaphismpriest]

which of your comics/fanfics did you have the most and least fun writing and if it's okay to ask, why?

If I had to rate them from most fun to least fun this is how I would rate my II fanfics/comics/AU series 1. Liminal Insanity: Revival 2. Paint Cans 3. Thy Evil 4. Haunting Relapse 5. Liminal Insanity 5. Yang's Trial I would say the most fun I've had writing is Liminal Insanity: Revival, which I'm currently working on, its been super fun to make horror series alot like Paint Cans but in an ARG survival setting where it merges existential horror and infection horror, It's still a work in progress and I've been having alot of fun coming up with all these spins on it. Paint Cans is what got me into writing more, since it's a year old I've learned ALOT from it that I can do better, I kinda didn't really mean for the series to get big as it is now since it was a challenge for myself to write how to portray downwards sprials better since Paint Cans merely happened because I was annoyed with how other II darkfics portrayed the villain with no reason or motivation or just made them purely evil out of nowhere, I also wanted to try to write a villain you could sympathize with, making the art scenes was really fun! Thy Evil has been something I've been working on that's been on the back burner for awhile, I want the story to be sort of epic moralistic thing, I have alot of fun ideas for it and the one-shots are clearly prototypes for now and not really canon for TE, I dont really got the time to actually focus on it now but when I get the time I'll develop it into an actual series! Ohhh boy, Haunting Relapse, I think after Paint Cans I could outdo myself, and I did for sure, but I had set such high expectations for myself into trying to perfect things which had caused me to stress out over it which I shouldn't have done. It was awesome to write some things like Knife's dream, OJ's hallucination, Origami's appearance etc, but other than that I had less control over writing some things because of my co-writer which shout out to him for fixing pacing and writing. I think I can say that Liminal Insanity is just Liminal Insanity: Revival, but less fun and more goofy and cartoonish than its Revival counterpart which has become way more serious toned, It was cool back then when I made it but now looking at it it's pretty underwhelming in my eyes since I see revival as its successor and way more creative when it came to existential horror themes. Yang's Trial, jeez where do I start this comic was SUPER time consuming, this is when I realized making a comic in the first place would be very labourus, especially if you put effort into the art and keeping track of colors. Plus the story didnt really have a solid bridge when it came to finishing it, I just had the idea that was like "hey what if this happened" situation-fic, but other than that, that was about it, It was kinda doomed in the beginning. I sometimes have thoughts about finishing it, but it's not fun to work on. Plus the concepts I had for it didn't age well in my creative eyes so I didn't really want to work on it anymore.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary121

1/13-14/2024

friday - saturday

gonna test the newest export of the #problemsong right nowwwwwwwwwwwww.

okay, i do really really like the new guitar tone itself, so i think everything up to/through distortion i should not touch, i think really i just need to find where a lot of the rhythm is located, i guess. i guess also maybe i should try doing something where i take the guitar again and pan it left and then right, it might have more room that way to be heard better. i guess doubling a guitar that's so fucked up that also has the main riff inside could help. another thing is probably to cut some unnecessary highs, as many as i can get. and then, finally, i think the bass needs to be a little quieter. i'll figure out vocals when i get it doubled. i've just been reticent to do the doubling thing because it can very quickly become too much, plus getting the levels right can be difficult, and i don't want to pan too wide.

i did check another song, also, trying to see about using other tones from other songs in this one instead, and found that the bass was tooooo loudddddddd. always disheartening, but easy.

but today overall was pretty disheartening re: mixing, the confidence level plummets, i get miserable, but right now i think i'm happy. i guess i'll listen again to check but i shouldn't overdo it. it's like self harm sort of, testing if i'll get really upset. but it feels necessary.

i do like it though. i think panning will help bring out the lower frequencies in it, and it'll help the vocals be like, good. plus, since the song sounds like, okay, right now, i don't think the panning will create new/weird problems. so i guess i'll have to get it as close to right so i'm not working on 2 things separately, and then when that's good, double it. i think one way to get more low end out is but doing some of the high cuts, like i said, just not too many, and probably just shelving.

anyway, because of the miserable experience today i took a long shower, i tried to get back into watching the curse but like, i can't with that when i am moody. i did see something funny, i guess like perfectly timed as something for me to go feral on, which was some guy in a discord server doing this whole "i hate art. it's so decadent". he didn't actually say that but he did say people who care about art are idiots, that so many people who make it/are in scenes are stupid, it's annoying when people say artists are 'workers' (like solo artists aren't but when you get to big industrial level animation/filmmaking/graphic design or whatever, then it does become labor (it's obvious his idea of labor has to do with producing "useful" goods)). he said every second working on art prevents one from producing necessities. his posting was so evidently stupid it i guess made me feel something, like, it's so easy to critique it, obviously art isn't 'useful' and is broadly not meaningful in a like, totally material way, or a base material way. but art is a kind of communication, all of it, seeing where it's spectacularized is clearly important but his approach is this self serious and idiotic moral proselytizing, essentially, about how he's concerned about 'the real' and others ought to be too. it really is proselytizing, it's an effort to say to others, without saying outright, your soul needs saving, you are decadent, you are immoral. he brings up how you have to use equipment that people died getting, it's true, all this technology we have has blood on it, everything has blood on it, we live in hell, acting superior for a base materialism that essentially suggests that there is something 'necessary' one can do right now, is insane. what is necessary labor in capitalism, one can help, volunteer, but seeing a dude who formerly drummed in a fucking avant prog band talk about how art is a political failure of some kind because he doesn't understand marx/materialism is fucking irritating. this is the kind of politics someone arrives at via the reactionary mindset social media puts you in, his communist angle is a charade, it's essentially a kind of fascism that sees useless activity as decadent, as i continue to mention. i think what confounds me the most is the notion of utility, any worker right now, any labor, right now, how much of that is necessary, this is all mostly surplus, people volunteering do important work, people in hospitals might be doing important work sometimes. but people doing 'real' work as most people like this conceive it, hard labor, farming, serious 'skills' they imagine people needing on their imaginary utopian communes, this is all stuff that is not meant to last, every building made now serves a purpose of putting forth the appearance of growth and drumming wealth out of land. at this point, despite its relative uselessness, diy art is basically where people are most free/able to feel tethered to/ the possibility of the phrase "from each according to his ability to each according to his needs," his perspective is one that stems from the bourgeois notion that work=suffering, and so he has to suffer like jesus to illustrate to us that everyone is wasting their life force (his perspective is also a vitalist one) on producing useless things, when there is 'important' work to be done. there is, surely, it's just not going to be accomplished by someone who is solely in the grip of ressentiment and moralizing.

it is such a freakishly irritating perspective to see, it's common among certain communists. i really don't like the whole communist infighting thing or whatever, but people make it hard because, to put it bluntly, they are annoying and go on twitter dot com too much and it rots the insides of their heads until they decide they need to post in an art community that is mostly just poor trans women. it really is such a painfully bourgeois perspective.

anyway the rant is cathartic, i'm also under no illusions about either this rant or what i'm doing being important or even good in terms of helping the world, but i don't know, maybe i am just a touch too immoral, being at peace with that. i don't know. i think it's more immoral to create ways of thinking/enforce ways of thinking that make people feel that, if they aren't proceeding in an exact and certain way, of thinking and action, are immoral. it's so ugly.

i want to be liberated and sovereign, not alienated and able to see labor as something happy, to participate in, to do things as they really are needed, for others and myself, i want to be with everyone doing something, to make life happen. but we aren't there, and getting there won't happen by holding onto petty sentiments of the only way through to this is pain and asceticism, and through an excess of guilt.

sorry for the very dumb rant, though, also.

i also have so much energy rnn, it's sickeninggg, i did my workout to give myself energy to help write this but it's like, fucking me up, the morning light + allnighter dopamine are hitting me in a fucked up way, but it feels good.

now i am starting to get tired. i also did get some more writing done after the shower, so today was productive in that way. disappointments in music seem to get me to do better with writing. at least.

okay now it's like 2 pm and i'm not sleep so, idk, but i should go now so,,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[xwesley]

closed starter for @trismp4 ❝if  we  get  caught,  i  definitely  think  we  should  ruuuuun  for  it!❞  he  informs  tristan,  backpack  filled  with  different  colored  cans  of  spray  paint,  alcohol  and  drugs,  both  of  them  high  and  drunk  of  their  asses,  walking  towards  some  abandoned  billboard  tristan  claims  to  know  all  about,  nearing one  am,  like  a  pair  of  damn  degenerates.  of  course  it  would  be  tristan’s  idea  to  vandalize  a  billboard by  spray  painting  it  at  these  ungodly  hours,  and  of  course,  wesley  is  quick  to  agree,  his  dumb  ass  mind  thinking  it’s  the  best  idea  anyone  could  have  ever  thought  of  since  the  hangover  movies  (  he’s  completely  serious  about  those  movies too, they're a work of art in his eyes  ).  they’re  by  some  grass field  filled  with  daises  and  random  flowers,  some  very  much  dead,  some  very  much  alive,  all  to  get  to  this  said  billboard.  the  moon  hides  behind  the  trees  they  encounter  along  the  path,  the  most  aesthetic  passage  way,  while  they’re  about  to  do  the  most  chaotic  thing  on  such  a  peaceful  landscape…  figures. ❝this  is  the  best  idea  you’ve  ever  had,  you’re  such  a  genius,  hold  on,  stop!❞  he  jumps  in  front  of  him,  and  it  almost  seems  like  he’s  about  to  give  the  other  some  life  changing,  altering  news.  instead,  he  reaches  for  the  bottle  from  his  backpack  and  giggles,  already  clearly  out  of  it,  but  willing  to  go  even  more  far  out.  ❝my  alcohol’s  poppin',  my  alcohol’s  cool,  all  the  boys  keep  jocking,  they  chase  me  after  schoooool!❞  his  own  remix  of  lip  gloss  by  lil  mama,  followed  by  a  mini  dance  and  him  taking  a  long  swig,  accidentally  spilling  some  on  his  shirt  in  the  process.  ❝woops.❞  he  wipes  at  the  corner  of  his  mouth,  handing  him  the  bottle.  ❝okay,  hurry  up,  why  did  you  stop?!❞  as  if  he  wasn’t  the  one  to  literally  jump  in  front  of  him  and  start  singing  like  a  maniac.  ❝i  can’t  wait  to  get  up  there  so  the  wholeeee  world  can  see  my  art,❞  more  like  the  randos  living  in  the  shitty  apartment  buildings  about  two  blocks  away,  but  okay  wesley,  ❝i’ll  draw  a  cloud,  a  string  of  emoji’s,  no,  no!  a  yin  yang  sign,  because  i’m  the  most  peaceful  man  on  the  planet.❞  definitely  not  the  meaning  of  a  yin  yang  and  he  couldn’t  be  more  far  off,  but  it’s  the  drunken  effort  that  counts.  ❝what  about  you,  what  are  you  gonna  spray  paint?  should  i  be  worried?❞  realistically  speaking,  the  last  thing  wesley  should  be  worried  about  is  what  tristan  is  going  to  draw.  he  should  be  concerned  over  how  risky  this  is,  and  what  a  terrible  outcome  this  could  bring  them,  but  is  he  thinking  about  that?  no.  does  he  particularly  care  or  is  he  even  remotely  afraid?  also  no.

[christmasintheloonybin]

also, if you look at it in a very cynical way, Ian Curtis committing suicide was a great career move. almost like mishima, art becomes life, he's immortal. I mean joy division is forever untouchable despite Peter hooks recent efforts to ruin the legacy.

if you compare Ian Curtis to the guy from The Sound (the fact that I don't remember his name proves my point) it's sort of theatre versus the real thing. if Ian Curtis had continued to live he would have become very successful, he had a lot to live for and even if he was genuinely severely depressed, he had marital problems and seizures and all this, I think it is sort of a young man's suicide. he really should have thought about it more. this was at the height of the bands popularity and they were only going to get bigger. so to leave the world waiting is, again, a great career move.

The Sound guy also suffered from serious mental health problems, arguably worse, he was schizophrenic as well. he tried and tried for years to get somewhere with music and The Sound I mean post punk people like them but they were never anywhere close to Joy Division. and their career declined, the band breaks up, he continues to try to make music and then as a middle aged man he commits suicide. this is the real thing. failure. nothingness. and I think the music represents his suicide versus Ian Curtis' suicide representing the music.

it was an odd thing for me to turn 24 a couple of months ago. it was a sad day like every birthday but especially so because I outlived Ian Curtis. when I was in high school I always figured he was part of thr 27 club and looked it up one day and when I saw he was 23 I couldn't stop crying because thats so young, even to me then, in high school, that seems so young and it's just so heartbreaking. and I still think about this, he released this untouchable body of work and then died, most people live to be three or even four times older than he did and contribute nothing to the world, and I am afraid of being one of these people. and just to think, he was so young making these albums it's unbelievable to me.

there's a bootleg live recording where he changes the lyrics to new dawn fades. "I've walked on water, danced through fire can't seem to take it anymore." when I heard that, again, I could not stop crying. it's just. idk. I've really never related to a band so much and being a male JD obsessive I would agree is a red flag lol. and the Ian Curtis cult of personality I fall into this trap. nothing else really captures this feeling of just total bleak nothingness. unknown pleasures is a sad album, closer is a suicidal album, clearly. everything they did, every song is so perfect. loneliness, mental illness etc. and even the way he dressed and looked. he's just like me. I mean I really feel for him. and it will always make me emotional thinking about him.

[tactful-kind-daedra]

Okay...what if...and hear me out..

[Dance] AND [Hoist] Xander @ Daedra? :3c

@letsriddlemethislucifer

Playful Affection Prompts:

Daedra very rarely saw the prince break his serious persona. Sometimes she was convinced that, maybe, he simply didn't have interest in silly things or jokes. Calm and direct was simply how he was, but certain instances over their time together as allies proved her wrong. Prince Xander was simply good at hiding it. A master of the art of scowling and wielding his intimidating stance like an impenetrable wall. Yet, like all things raised high for a mere show... they did break down with the right methods.

Currently, the troops were at a remission spot, taking time to recoop and build up their stamina and spirits. There was some minor risk, but with enough scouting trips, it was mostly assured that the time was theirs to use, and using it to build their moral back was highly encouraged. So most of the soldiers took to socializing: splurging a little on food stores, chatting, and making music and dancing to pass the evenings.

Eventually, such activates could not be ignored long by the higher ranking members of the army: namely the Royal Siblings and their retainers. So while they did keep from the eyes of the basic troop soldiers, there was still moral building to be had in closed company. And, Daedra found it much easier to chisel away at Prince Xander's walls this way, especially when his other siblings already helped in the effort.

They sat about in a comfortable circle, listening to upbeat instruments playing something fun and bouncy. Of course, the redhead had been dancing happily for a time, completely unencumbered with thoughts of embarrassment of the silliness. Notice Xander standing where he was, the petite woman took a gamble. Beaming happily, she hopped her way to him and pulled at his hands as she moved passed.

"Dance with me, Prince Xander!!"

Daedra knew if the much taller man was not willing to budge, there would be nothing she could do. However, it seemed his feet were not willing to remain idle, as clearly let himself be pulled more center ward. Though he probably still felt some sheepishness, it seemed much easier for him to bear under the eyes of his beloved family members and most trustworthy retainers.

Not at a fancy ball or masque, there was no fancy waltz steps to remember. No etiquette other than minding one's hands and toes. Just lively fun steps and twirls, and lots of smiling and grinning as they danced about. Daedra found herself so happy to see Xander having a moment of fun like this, her eyes pinched in happiness as she laughed. Feeling almost dizzy from the excitement and twirling (but maybe mostly the twirling).

It seemed the Prince was infected with the energy as well. Unbeknownst to Daedra, as they made for a twirl, Xander maneuvered his hold under her arms. Caught up in the rush, Daedra barely noticed until she found herself suddenly drawn off the very floor. Swung into the air, she felt something shift between her legs as her bottom came to rest on something firm and sturdy. When she opened her eyes in shock, she found herself precariously perched on the man's shoulders! He was holding her there as if she weighed nothing at all!

The others suddenly burst into laughter as well at the realization, though some (Leo) scoffed and rolled their eyes. Now this was too silly! But who cared---

Adjusting herself more firmly, Daedra clasped her fingers into Xander's, as he held his arms up to offer her a grip. Once again, Daedra couldn't contained her joyous laughter as she was bounced around, like nothing more than a backpack or perhaps his plate armor. She probably weighed even less than those!

[thefanficmonster]

Infatuation

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s not a secret that Corpse prefers taking care of his hair himself rather than going to a hair salon to get it trimmed and/or tampered. However, he only has so much knowledge of how to properly do it without having to obliterate his budget. Luckily, his girlfriend comes to his rescue.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the incredibly fluffy request! I’ve been very pumped to write it and now here it finally is - so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but I still hope you come across it and give it a read! Love, Vy ❤

“Um, what are you doing?“

I just walked into Corpse’s apartment to find him barricaded in the bathroom, giving himself a hair appointment. We were supposed to have a chill night in watching movies, but it seems to me like those plans will either have to be delayed or canceled, given the chaotic state both Corpse and his bathroom are in. I mean, how dumb was I to expect he was actually doing his hair justice when he told me he styled it himself? Why didn’t that immediately raise an army of red flags in my head and lead me to question his methods?

I’m honestly quite jealous of Corpse’s hair. It’s always so soft and silky and no matter how much or how little effort he’s put in it, it always looks good: either evidently carefully styled or boyishly messy, it leaves me with heart-eyes regardless. But to see him massacre it like this, it makes me wish I could report it as a crime.

“Ain’t obvious?“ He sounds rather frustrated and I feel at least slightly better due to this fact. He deserves to be as frustrated as I am by the sight of the crap he’s doing. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for me for...a little while. I just need to get this under control and, um, clean the mess. Sorry for ruining your night like this, babe. I-I really wasn’t planning on it to take this long but I forgot to buy one of the products and I thought I could wing it without it but...I very clearly can’t so...“

“Please, stop talking. I don’t need to know what sins you’ve committed - if I do I’ll probably have to give you the silent treatment for like a week or so.“ I call out to him as I quickly skip over to the kitchen to leave the food I bought on my way over before returning to the bathroom and carefully taking a step inside, mindful of where there are hair strands on the tiles. Even severed, his hair is beautiful and I have a ton of respect for it - ok fine, I adore it. Corpse definitely doesn’t appreciate it properly. I walk over to the shower, reaching out to the two shelves inside which are lined with different types of hair products. “Oh fuck...“ I let out the whisper without even realizing it because I’m so stunned by the brands I see on those shelves. “Corpse, um, what the actual fuck?”

He turns to me, eyes wide and terrified because of my menacing tone. “What? What is it?” His gaze searches the spot where mine was just pointed at, looking for anything that could’ve provoked such a reaction from me. Seeing nothing but the hair products, he meets my deadly glare yet again, “What’s wrong?”

Alright, this man-child needs some serious help

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.“ I say, stomping towards the exit of the bathroom, “You’re gonna stay here and wait for me to come back and don’t you DARE, even touch your hair, let alone bring a pair of scissors or any chemical near it. Copy?“

“Copied and pasted, ma’am.“ He salutes me, knowing better than to ask questions when I enter my commander role. There are quite a few things that set me off into this bossy-ass persona, and hair mistreatment is most definitely one of them. Thing is, Corpse doesn’t know that. Well, he didn’t know that, pretty sure he’s guessed it by now.

Feeling myself soften at his obedience and trust, I give him a smile and a wink over my shoulder as I go to grab my bag and leave the apartment to complete my mission, “Good boy.”

                                                              *  *  *

“Isn’t that a lot better?“ I ask, gently running my fingers through Corpse’s freshly cut, washed and dried hair. I’ve spent a good five minutes just smoothing through it with my fingers. I bet he’s expecting me to say ‘my precious‘ at any moment now, and trust me it’s tempting, but I still don’t, I won’t give him the pleasure of predicting my actions. Wow, we’ve really reached that level of being familiar with one another that I predict that he’s predicting what I’m gonna do next. While I’m a guessing game for him, I tend to think of myself as more of an open book. You just gotta be fluent in the language it’s written in to understand it.

I’ve gone off-topic, my bad.

“Yeah, you’re a lot less scary now.“ He tells me, his hand finding mine in his hair and taking it to his lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

We’re positioned so that we’re in front of the bathroom mirror with Corpse seated in a chair in front of me and I’m for once in my life towering over him from behind. Our height difference was threatening to be a hinderance in my work on his hair, but we easily figured it out.

I can’t help but laugh, “You know what I meant.“ I curl one of his already curly strands around the pointer finger of the hand that’s still wandering around the soft dark curls while the other remains in his gentle hold, resting on his shoulder.

“And you know what I meant.“ He shifts in his seat to look at me directly, not via the mirror, “Since when do you have a hair infatuation?“

I roll my eyes and retract my hands, defensively folding my arms over my chest, “It’s not an infatuation with hair, dummy. It’s an infatuation with your hair.” I correct him, doing quick work of styling the stray strands that fall over his forehead and eyes. “I really like your hair, you already know that. I can’t handle the thought you’re doing such a shitty job taking care of it.”

He shrugs, furrowing his brows, “Hey, I was buying top-shelf products, cost me a fortune every month, my hair was being treated like royalty.”

I roll my eyes once again, “High price doesn’t always equal high quality, Corpse. Did you ever stop to read what was in those products?” I don’t let him answer, I don’t need him to confirm what I already know. “Even if you did - which you didn’t - you wouldn’t know what each of those ingredients do to your hair. You see, taking care of hair, especially hair like yours, takes patience and knowledge. It’s practically an art form. It’s not like you can just buy any product that has ‘suitable for curly hair’ on it. There’s a lot more to that.”

It’s only after I finish my monologue that I realize he’s looking at me with amazed amusement in his gaze, almost like a parent listening to their kid talk about their wish of becoming an astronaut. “Since when do you know so much about hair? You’ve been using the same shampoo and conditioner since I know you and now you wanna lecture me on hair care?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, exasperated by his stubbornness on the matter, “Who said being consistent with your hair products is a bad thing? You know, frequent changing of brands has the potential of being damaging as much as aiding.” I explain with the most amount of patience I can muster, now taking over the parent role myself, “And as for your previous question, I know so much because my mother is a hairdresser.”

His eyes widen in surprise. I can practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tries to recall if I’ve ever told him this before.

“How come I don’t know that?“ He asks finally after a long moment of silence. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“You ask that as though I just tell you things like that on the regular. Did you also want me to drop the info that my dad’s a mechanic in passing conversation about video games? Cause that’s a little hard to shoehorn in....“ He cuts off my sarcastic rambling with a brief peck to the lips. He’s the only person allowed to shut me up, and only like that. Anything else will earn him either an earful or a silent treatment. 

Just kidding....unless...

“So, does that mean you’re continuing the family business?“ he asks when he pulls away, “I mean, you’re technically my personal hairdresser now.“

I furrow my brows playfully, “Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since I hired you approximately an hour ago.“ He beams up at me, satisfied that I’ve fallen in his trap.

“And what about my payment?“ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

He looks to be contemplating for a second before he stands up from the chair, taking my hand in his leading me out of the bathroom, “Well, each appointment you’ll give me a different price, Miss Y/L/N. But, considering today was your first day, I choose to pay you with dinner.“ He sends a wink my way, laughing when he’s met with an unamused expression on my part as I stop in my tracks, causing him to halt his movements as well.

“You really plan on paying me with the dinner I bought?“ I raise an eyebrow at him, freeing my hand from his so I can put both my hands on my hips for the complete 'I’m far from impressed’ look.

“Yeah...? Problem?“ He asks, faking nervousness and guilt as he closes the distance between us, once again returning to the default of towering over me instead of it being the other way around.

“Several actually. First of all...“ I raise my finger in the air accusingly, ready to go off but the arm that wraps around my waist and lifts me off the ground causes my words to die down, evaporating in a frightened squeal, “Corpse no!! Put me down!“

Of course, he ignores me, carrying me into the living room while I don’t know whether to thrash or stay as still as possible. 

Tsk, so much for gratitude

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[queenshelby]

Fan with Benefits (Part One)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 1,058

Warning: None

Notes: As usual, this is fiction and has nothing to do with Cillian’s real life.

You’ve been working at the Dublin Art Gallery for the past five months in sales and acquisition and tonight was the opening night of the exhibition.

You were off duty and attended the gala with one of your best friends, Katherine, who loved modern art and abstract paintings just as much as you did.

As expected, the evening was busy and there were many celebrities around who attended the gala.

’It’s Cillian Murphy, right over there’ your friend Katherine eventually pointed out and, sure enough, when you looked over towards him, he noticed you too and smiled.

‘Oh my god, he just looks as good in real life’ you observed, cheeks flushing and it was obvious to you that he was still looking over towards you.

You tried hard to straighten up your short black dress and make a serious expression and perhaps even look somewhat elegant when you sipped on your glass of champagne, but your efforts were futile. As usual, you were rather clumsy, especially when you were wearing high heels.

‘He is still looking at you’ Katherine then pointed out and you glanced over again only just to look away from him quickly.

‘I am sure he is just looking at the painting behind me’ you said, looking at the rather abstract artwork in front of which you were standing.

‘He’s coming over’ Katherine then giggled, knowing how much you adored him in his movies and Peaky Blinders. Clearly, you were a little star struck by him.

Nervously, you watched him come closer and closer until he was standing directly in front of you.

‘I’ve been told that you work here’ he suddenly said to you as he stood right in front of you and Katherine and you couldn’t help but nod nervously.

‘Yes, but it’s my night off’ you shuddered while forcing out a smile.

‘I can see that’ Cillian chuckled. His smile was simply mesmerising.

‘You can?’ you asked, fidgeting as you did.

‘You are drinking champagne…a fair bit of it if I may add’ Cillian then pointed, causing you to bite your lip with embarrassment.

‘I might still be able to help you or, if you prefer, I can get Callum, my manger’ you then said nervously.

‘I am sure you will be able to’ he then winked before telling you that he was interested in purchasing one of the paintings.

‘Uhm, which one?’ you asked, looking around to ascertain what had caught his interest.

‘Common, I will show you’ Cillian suggested and, of course, you nodded and followed him.

When he showed you the painting, you weren’t really surprised. The piece was modern but yet elegant.

‘Well, I cannot sell the painting to you tonight, but I can take a deposit and mark it as sold and then you can finalise the deal when the exhibition concludes in six weeks’ you told him as you required authorisation from your boss.

‘That will do, thank you’ Cillian responded and you suggested that he follows you to the office so that you can take the deposit and fill out the purchase order.

***

After you sat down behind your desk, you typed up the particulars rather quickly which was difficult after the two glasses of champagne you had and due to the fact that Cillian’s presence made you rather nervous.

‘I need your phone number please’ you then said nervously, not wanting to sound like a stalker or total weirdo.  ‘Just so I can process the sale’ you then quickly explained as Cillian had raised one of his eyebrows at you.

‘Of course’ Cillian responded before reading out his mobile phone number for you.

‘What’s yours?’ he then asked suddenly, catching you by surprise.

‘Mine?’ you wondered.

‘Your phone number’ he chuckled.

‘Why?’ you asked.

‘In case I need to contact you about the sale. I would much rather deal with you directly as, the truth is, I don’t like Callum very much’ Cillian explained and it was very difficult for you to argue with him the way he looked at you.

‘Uhm, alright’ you said before reading out your mobile phone number and watching him type it into his phone.

‘Your name?’ he then asked, realising that you didn’t introduce yourself to him.

‘Y/N’ you said shyly, cheeks flushing red.

‘Well, it was nice to meet you Y/N’ Cillian said after finalising the particulars with you and paying the deposit.

***

When you returned to the gallery, Katherine was quick to ask you a million questions, wanting to know what Cillian was like, what said and even what he smelled like.

She was as obsessed with him as you were and wanted to know everything.

You both couldn’t help but watch Cillian for the rest of the evening and, surely, he must have noticed, glancing over towards you numerous times throughout the night until, suddenly, he was gone.

***

The following day, you received a phone call which was rather unexpectant.

‘Is that Y/N?’ a familiar voice asked.

‘Yes, who is this?’ you asked somewhat annoyed, thinking that this was yet another one of those telemarketing calls.

‘It’s Cillian’ the man then said and, when you didn’t respond, he added ‘Cillian Murphy’.

‘Uhm, right, hey…how can I help?’ you asked surprised.

‘Callum called me this morning and told me that I should have signed the purchase order. He said that he will make an exception for me and that I can simply sign it when I pick up the painting in six weeks when the exhibition ends. The problem is, I won’t be in Dublin then and my architect will pick it up for me. So, I want to get this purchase order signed in advance’ Cillian explained.

‘Of course, yes. I can make arrangements for that’ you told him.

‘Perhaps I can come to your place and sign? How does 7 o’clock tonight sound?’ Cillian then asked.

‘You want to come to my place? Why not the gallery?’ you asked somewhat confused.

‘Because I am in London and won’t get back until you close up for the day. What’s your address?’ Cillian explained.

‘Uhm, it’s Unit 6, 7 Lakeview Hill Road, Donnybrook’ you said nervously.

‘Can you text this to me?’ Cillian asked and, of course, you agreed and confirmed that you would see him at 7 o’clock at your apartment.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @ @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​

@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  

[jolyneswife-anime-reviews]

Citrus anime review

Spoilers for citrus and tw for stepcest, non consensual touching, a teacher being engaged to a minor, cheating  and sexualisation of queer women (this anime is definitely not worth watching)

“I felt bitter to the people around me and I closed off my heart. And a heart that lets nothing in will become empty before you realize it,”- Mei Aihara

Disclaimer: I have watched all the episodes out so far, and I despise this anime with a passion. I tried very hard to like it, but I just couldn't because of several very irritating aspects of it. This WILL be somewhat of a rant because of this.

Genre: Yuri, romance, high school, fanservice

Where I watched it: Funimation

Characterisation: 7/10 (Let's start with the things that the series did well on. I quite liked the cast, and the characters themselves were reasonably well designed- the ideas behind personalities, mannerisms and backstories were good, but I felt like in most cases, characters were lacking when it came to complexity and development. They didn’t change much or show many different sides as the series went on, they stayed very much the same for the most part, except from Matsuri, who grew to accept Mei after realizing that love wasn’t a competition or simple, and recognising the good things about her. Harumin was my favourite character, personally- she was funny and light hearted, as well as being the kind of best friend every girl needs. I also adored her more “public school” mannerisms compared to those of the prim and proper private school girls. Yuzu was also quite a good protagonist- she was an outsider in that upstanding school, where the things she considered normal and fun were seen as improper. As well as that, she was kind, as well as being determined- when she put her mind to something, she achieved it, which is shown by the improvement in her grades and and effort she put into making a cake from scratch for Christmas. However, when it comes to more emotional and complex matters, Yuzu is so clueless that it’s almost irritating. If I’m being honest, Mei just felt a bit like the overused serious character with a tragic backstory, which, I have to admit, was reasonably well developed. She herself wasn’t very developed as a character, her personality lacking depth and complexity.)

Setting: 7.5/10 (The setting is another thing that the show executes quite well, despite it being pretty basic. I love the idea of Yuzu, this extroverted and somewhat rebellious state school student, arriving in a luxurious private school and being completely out of place. Yuzu and Mei’s bedroom also has a nice design, with half of it clearly belonging to Mei and the other to Yuzu; the furniture reflects the girls’ interests and lifestyles. The idea of taking a school trip towards the end was a good one too, and it provided an opportunity to introduce new characters as well as a much needed change of scenery, with exciting new things to explore and incorporate into the plot.) 

Art style: 8/10 (Probably the only noteworthy high of this series. The way the characters are drawn, as well as the colour pallets chosen and the attention to details, is astonishing. Outfits are also modelled to suit characters and their personalities, which added to that appeal. Settings are drawn with a similar care and in a picturesque way.)

_ Ranting starts here_

Plot: 2/10 (I found this anime while searching for anime with wlw relationships, and I was really excited to watch it- it was the first time I had encountered an anime where the protagonists were both queer girls. What really stings is that on the surface and after watching the opening theme, it seemed like a good anime which portrays a relationship the way straight ones are often portrayed- with care and adding complexity. However, this isn’t really the case at all. As well as lacking development and not being dynamic, the plot also fails to develop Yuzu and Mei’s relationship on a deeper level, with things like quality time spent together or deep, honest conversations. On top of that, after first meeting Mei at her new school, Yuzu discovers that she’s the daughter of her mother’s new partner, which makes them step-sisters. This made me incredibly uncomfortable, because they referred to each other as sisters but often made romantic advances, sometimes hesitating but ultimately deciding to date regardless of the fact that they’re step-sisters. This was a difficult, sensitive topic and needed to be handled properly, which the series totally failed at doing. Also, when Matsuri entered the picture and admitted to her own romantic feelings for Yuzu, she too referred to her as a “big sister”- personally, I’m really uncomfortable with the way the series romanticised this particular type of relationship. Another problem I have with the plot is that when Mei and Yuzu made advances, it was sometimes non consensual, but still presented in a romantic and rose tinted way, which was disturbing to see. Lastly, I hated that their relationship was presented in such an overly sexualised manner- sometimes, they either didn’t interact much or made out intensely. It feels like their relationship was created more for the sake of fan service than to make something romantic. Sexualising women is already very common in many anime, but queer women experience a lot of sexualisation based on the fact that some men fetishize wlw relationships, so the fact that these two queer minors were portrayed in such a sexual light sometimes was annoying. I don’t mind “spicier” scenes, but, in my opinion, to make a romance anime good, these need to be coupled with a complex and deep relationship, and scenes of the characters bonding and growing close in other ways. Citrus simply didn’t have enough of that, so it just felt like a way to sexualise wlw relationships for the sake of fanservice rather than good representation. Another terrible aspect of the anime was the relationship between Mei and that teacher at the start of the series. The two were engaged, despite Mei being a minor, which is horrifying to think about. Not only is it illegal, it’s disgusting. Later on, Mei claims that didn’t enjoy being kissed by him, and doesn’t seem too affected by the end of their relationship after she finds out he cheated she doesn’t seem too bothered, which implies Mei was unhappy in that relationship. Apart from that, the show did a poor job at actually addressing this theme or expanding on why it was happening and the potential impact on Mei’s life, as well as neglecting to paint it as something harmful that should be condemned. The whole thing just kind of dies out as the focus shifts to Yuzu and Mei, which is an unrealistic and harmful way to portray such damaging relationships.)

Addictiveness: 3/10 (There was nothing about the series which kept me hooked, mostly because it felt like there was no actual plot, and the episodes felt monotonous. You also do not become invested enough in the characters due to the poor development to care about what happens next. There were a few twists, but overall it was not engaging.)

Comfort: 4/10 (This anime deals with several topics I’m not comfortable with, with an unhealthy relationship being just the tip of the iceberg. This, along with the lack of light and joyous, yet gripping moments, is why I gave it a low rating. The only things which comes close to saving it are Sarah’s wholesome outlook on life and her selflessness in prioritizing Yuzu’s happiness over her own when she realizes they both like the same girl, and Yuzu’s ride-or-die friendship with Harumin, which is a friendship all viewers would probably want.)

Originality: 5/10 (Nothing in this series really struck me as original or innovative, apart from maybe the idea of Yuzu coming from a completely different background to the new prestigious private school one, and what that means for her when she starts attending that school and becomes legally related to the director.)

Consistency: 5/10 (The quality of the anime seemed OK for the first part of the first episode, but it soon took a nosedive. It stayed consistently low throughout the rest of the series, being bumped up a little by the introduction of Harumin and later of Sarah and Mina, two very different twins with a realistic relationship as sisters. Sarah’s perspective on her sexuality is refreshing and simple after Yuzu’s own confusing love life and her complex relationship with Mei. She simply loves who she loves, and that’s all there is to it.)

Philosophy: 4/10 (The anime, and its characters, lack depth of thought, so it’s not surprising that it gives viewers nothing really substantial to think about.)

The plot

Yuzu Aihara just transferred to a new school after moving house due to her mom getting a new partner, who’s away due to work a lot. Yuzu is optimistic, relaxed and extroverted. She loves fashion and fun, and she really wants a boyfriend. As soon as she enters the new, prestigious all girls school, she realises she is somewhat out of place. Everything about her outfit violates the uniform rules, and she is told that having her phone on her is forbidden. After Yuzu refuses to hand it over, the student council president, Mei Aihara, unexpectedly feels her up until she finds the phone, before confiscating it and leaving Yuzu flustered. Throughout the day, Yuzu tries to make friends with other students, but they’re all very reserved. She then meets Harumin, another girl who transferred in high school; Harumin explains that thing are different at this school, as all the girls have been taught to “mind their ps and qs”. She and Yuzu quickly become close friends. When Yuzu returned home that day, she found Mei there, and made an astonishing discovery- the girl was now her step sister: she was the daughter of the man her mother had married. The two girls start their life of co habitation, learning more about each other and developing increasingly strong feelings for each other, despite their circumstances. Both are confused, and their relationship is rocky and unhealthy throughout the show. After a while the two get to know each other a bit better and they realise that they are faced with an extremely complex situation, one where the wrong choice seems to be the “most tempting”. 

[katatonicimpression]

Some thoughts about Monet’s writing during the X-Factor era

This would’ve been a high effort mini essay with screencaps and everything but I cba. So prepare yourself for a wall of text.

This iteration of X-Factor (the Jamie Madrox team - starting with X-Factor: investigations then later being folded back into the 1986 title) is probably the first comic series I ever got into. I still really like it to be honest… most of the time. It has comedy that’s genuinely funny, a really cinematic feel to it and (the key to my heart) a strong commitment to soap opera-style drama. It’s definitely a mixed bag in terms of quality and in my opinion it clearly gets worse as it goes on. A while ago, I saw a post where someone suggested that they make it into a TV show and honestly I think that’s a brilliant idea. It would make a really compelling series if adapted right, and they could use the opportunity to maybe smooth over some of the things that don’t work.

Anyway, this was the first thing I read with Monet in it and I absolutely loved her. I found her hilarious (I really gravitate towards mean-girl bitchy characters) and I also remember being drawn to her pain in the moments of vulnerability she gets. Let’s be clear, those things are still there when re-reading it. But I recently finished going through the whole thing again (skipping anything that wasn’t her or ricstar because I’m impatient) and I’m left with a bunch of thoughts.

There is something deeply weird about Monet’s writing in this series.

This weirdness isn’t there the entire time - it’s mostly in the latter half of the series. At the beginning her characterisation is good; we get a serious look at her trauma from what Marius did to her, her mental health is taken seriously, her family and backstory is referenced on multiple occasions in ways that really make it clear that the writers had read Generation X and paid attention to it. She’s drawn too pale, which is obviously a bad thing, but overall she still feels like Monet and the writing is pretty good. I’d say the strangeness starts shortly after her dad gets kidnapped. I.e. a little bit after when the boob outfit first appears (#215-ish). Okay, actually let’s put this whole thing on hold and talk about that for a second.

A Tangent about Sex and Race:

If for some reason you’re reading this and haven’t read this series (or if it’s been a while), here is the boob outfit for reference:

So that’s a pretty shameless bit of costume design right there. It’s very silly. It defies gravity and anatomy. It’s so silly that the characters even comment on it at one point… like lampshading the choice makes it magically immune to criticism. But okay, focusing on the point I want to make: Monet is sexualised in this series - heavily sexualised - and it’s done in a way that really doesn’t do it for me.

Don’t get me wrong, Monet is a sexual person and I think it’s important to include this in her character (I’ve talked about this before). Also I don’t want this to come across as a strawman “no boobies in comicbooks” thing either. That’s not what I think.

The pervasive idea in the art in the second half of this series is that Monet is sexy, but she doesn’t get drawn as pretty. Seriously, this girl is a fucking supermodel who is known for being hot, but rarely gets drawn with a pretty face in this series. Layla, Rahne and Theresa, on the other hand, get to be pretty all the time.

Similarly, Layla, Rahne and Theresa are drawn with more dignity than Monet is. They’re all still drawn sexy, often shamelessly so, but they each get plenty of panels where they’re drawn as hot, without it being so gratuitous. Moreover, they’re presented as earnestly desirable in their own right. This is important here. Monet is constantly portrayed as sexy - she’s tits-out in most panels - but not as a serious love interest. Guido likes her, but it’s a comedic storyline. Darwin loves her, but it’s supposed to be pathetic. Meanwhile, Jamie is uninterested after their hookup: he prefers Theresa then, later, Layla. Shatterstar comments that she’s hot, but prefers Layla. Pip the fucking Troll thinks she’s hot. Like… really?

A similar thing happens in 2016’s Uncanny X-Men. Betsy is portrayed as sexy, but with modesty and dignity. Meanwhile, Monet is heavily sexualised but only actually considered desirable to Sabretooth. 

Make no mistake. This is racist. Sexualising a black female character while also portraying her as not somebody who a heroic lead could seriously, earnestly be interested in? The black female character is drawn with cartoonish, over the top sexual traits in every panel? The black female character is allowed to be sexual, but not pretty? That’s racism. 

Back to the Point:

Right, so if it wasn’t obvious by now, the writing in this series develops a strong sense of hostility towards Monet as a character. She is portrayed with very little dignity and it feels very uncomfortable to read. This isn’t necessarily that surprising, right? And yeah, okay. No, it isn’t surprising but I noticed something weird about how they go about it and I just wanted to put it out there. There are some contradicting ideas going on here:

Monet’s anger is portrayed as disproportionate, irrational and annoying.

Her reasons for being angry are correct and reasonable.

Monet’s pain and humiliation is portrayed as humorous.

The reality and seriousness of Monet’s pain is emphasised.

As the series goes on, Monet’s characterisation goes from funny, bitchy quipping to full on just yelling at everybody all the time. She’s portrayed as incredibly quick to anger and unreasonable to be around, berating people constantly. This didn’t go unnoticed by readers. She becomes angry and shouty and the whole thing lacks development or even a sense of purpose. There’s no arc or storyline here; they just started writing her as a shouty rage-monster for no clear reason. She gets portrayed as a massive inconvenience to the group. Suddenly, none of them even seem to like her anymore, except Guido who… well he still hates her he just happens to also want to fuck her.

But, she’s right. Her reasons for being angry are right. This is the weird thing. She yells at Guido for being a soulless monster… but he’s being a soulless monster. She yells at Pip and Guido for saying creepy things about her body… but they’re saying creepy things about her body. She has a falling out with Theresa because (I kid you not) Theresa is upset that Monet didn’t tell her that she’s a muslim… but Monet rightly points out in an earlier issue that it’s frankly bizarre that everyone assumed otherwise. She yells at Lorna for ordering her around, threatening her, and making light of her abuse… but Lorna does all of those things.

So, now we’re at number 3. Monet is wronged, Monet is hurt, Monet is humiliated… but it’s a joke. Her reactions are ridiculous, over-the-top, clearly intended as comedy. Moreover, in universe, the other characters laugh at her pain. They literally think it’s funny when her body is taken over by a perverted troll who attempts to sexually assault her. Like, what the fuck? Do the writers hate the character that much? 

That’s the obvious explanation, right? That the writers just hate her. It would explain why she gets violently beaten to death at the end of the series.

…

…

Although… She gets immediately resurrected, right? Which seems like a weird choice if it was all about punishing the character, right?

And I mentioned the gang laughing at Monet being possessed by Pip, but they don’t all laugh. Shatterstar doesn’t think it’s funny. He plainly explains that it’s a violation and no laughing matter. So, the writers definitely do see that Monet has a right to be angry here. Similarly with all the above examples. It’s not a subtle, emergent detail of the story that she’s in the right. It’s all there plain as day, very deliberately. But, nonetheless, she’s still acting in this cartoonish rage-monster way and not being given any dignity to her reaction.

There’s a scene when she talks to Layla about her decision to bring Guido back to life without a soul. It’s one of her few non-shouting scenes from the back-half of this series. It clearly tells us that Monet is consciously distancing herself from other people, that she finds comfort in doing so. It’s so empathetic to her point of view that honestly it feels like it came from way back at the beginning of the series. Even right up to the end, where they’re writing her so hatefully, they’re still putting in these moments of pathos. It’s just so deeply, deeply weird.

Conclusion?

The first time I read this series, I came away from it really liking Monet but re-reading it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it had the opposite effect on a lot of people. In fact, I know it did - I’ve read plenty of comments saying as much. But what’s interesting (to me) is that all of this weirdness - the contradictions in how her anger and pain are portrayed - is probably why I managed to form such a positive opinion of a character who is portrayed so negatively. So kudos to inconsistent writing, I guess.

While this has been a really negative rant, I want to reiterate that, when taken as a whole, this run of X-Factor holds up pretty well. I wouldn't have written this whole thing if this was just a generic call out post for the latter half of a decade old comic. I'm not in the business of call out posts anyway. Like I said, the first half or so has some great writing for Monet as well. It just has some gnarly things towards the end that I wanted to write about and if you’ve made it to the end of this, then I am genuinely surprised.

[yoonjinkooked]

CHEMISTRY | JHS (3)

PART 3 - ONE KISS

(pls ignore my old URL, i’m too lazy to change it now RIP)

DRABBLE SERIES, TONS OF SHORT LITTLE CHAPTERS.

SERIES MASTERLIST Pairing: Hoseok / Reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: FWB, university AU, smut (a bit of a slowburn)

Warnings: cursing, alcohol, hot Hoseok who knows what he wants, kissing (is that a warning), the deal is almost made, JK has a bad music taste (not really tho)

Word Count: 5k

Summary: After a few years of being immune to Jung Hoseok’s charms, you suddenly fall into them, head first. All it takes is one night, too much alcohol and a lot of balls. 

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts since OCTOBER and i finally edited it today because I can’t f-ing get Jung Hoseok out of my head. Sigh. Let me know what you think! I’m balancing this story with others and I hope I’ll have an update for you soon! 

As the days passed one by one you knew that the luxury of avoiding Hoseok is going to escape your grasp soon. Frankly, it’s a miracle you’ve been able to avoid him as long as you have and with Yoongi’s birthday this weekend, you know your lucky streak will break soon.

You didn’t expect it to break before that, not really. But here you were, minding your own business, studying on campus in a makeshift picnic setting and taking in the first proper rays of sunshine of the year, when he popped up from the tree behind you, very clearly cornering you.

And scaring the living daylights out of you too, as you end up clutching your chest and cursing at him while he laughed his ass off at the sight of you freaked out. “You nearly killed me, you idiot. Was it worth it?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” he laughs as he plops down on the grass next to you, completely casual, as if nothing between you has changed. To be fair, perhaps it hasn’t, in his eyes. “Let’s be honest here Y/N, I had to ambush you. You’ve been avoiding me for days,” he emphasises and although you wish you could call him out for being overly dramatic, you couldn’t. Leave it to Jung Hoseok to not beat around the bush and call you out directly. 

“It wasn’t that bad,” you mumble, not even bothering to try and deny. That makes him laugh, a sound that sounds so misplaced in your current setting. It feels wrong to openly discuss the awkwardness that has formed between you while he is literally laughing at it.

“You ran out of the cafeteria the other day so fast, Namjoon is still calling you Speedy Gonzales,” he jokes, laughing harder when you curse that traitor under your breath. At least he is joking around with you. You wish he would ignore it altogether, but it could be worse.

“I’m sorry,” you let out a groan, consciously avoiding making direct eye contact with him. “You know I can get awkward like this. It’s not your fault, it’s… all me.”

“Y/N, come on,” he leans closer to you and nudges your shoulder with his. “It’s me you’re talking to. There’s not a single reason to avoid me. We are both consensual adults who wanted to make out at a party. It’s as simple as that.”

This time, you turn and give him a good look, unsurprised to find a content smile on his face. He is bright and positive just like he always is, to the point of it being both annoying and overbearing at times. He has always been a great friend but there were times when his positivity and energy were too much for a grumpy ol’ potato of a person that you are 24/7. Now, however, you are glad for it. Unlike you, he obviously wasn’t beating himself too much about what had happened between you.

“So, what you’re saying is that you’re not feeling awkward and I shouldn’t either?” you ask.

“Exactly,” he shrugs. “You are… one hell of a kisser,” his eyes widen in a way that makes it seem like he is shocked by how good of a kisser you are.

“Hoseok, please,” you hiss at him, not even caring if he was telling you the truth or lying to spare your confidence. You are embarrassed and he knows it well.

“I mean it!” he laughs, amused by your sudden shyness – it’s a side of you your friends are not used to seeing, simply because you don’t normally do shit you’re ashamed of, at least not when they are directly involved. And if you do, more often than not, you own up to your bullshit. You’ve had your fair share of moments that would normally be counted as humiliating, only to brush them off casually and move on with your life. Not this one, though.

“You need to stop,” you laugh awkwardly, hoping that this conversation will simply end. “I was drunk, I came onto you way too strong and I am pretty sure I used way too much tongue.”

“If you think that I didn’t find it hot how confident you were that night, I’m afraid you don’t know me well,” he bites back. You are instantly shocked, not imagining him taking the conversation in that direction and also shocked by the nature of his admission too - Hoseok always struck you as more of a hunter than prey. You didn’t exactly keep track of his hook-ups but you were fairly sure that he was the one who initiated them more often than not. “And for the record, it was the perfect amount of tongue.”

Oh good lord. If you knew he would say the things he is saying, you would have tried desperately to avoid him for… well, the rest of your life, really.

“Please stop before I dig a hole for myself, right here, right now.”

“Why are you acting so shy about this Y/N?” he is laughing, once again nudging you with your shoulder, which only makes it more obvious to you how close you are sitting next to each other. Before, you wouldn’t bat an eye. Now, it’s driving you mad. “You know me, I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to, that is,” he adds cheekily.

“Oh, I noticed, my neck had a lovely little souvenir,” you reply before you could realize what you were even saying. There’s no way he’ll let it go now and the worst part is, you don’t even want him to. You’re saying that you do but in reality, you yourself are finding ways to deepen the conversation. This whole thing is crazy and… wrong! “Why are you making it sound like you want to do it again?” you whine, wishing he would just be up for forgetting about it.

“Well… I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

You turn your head towards him so fast, you strain your neck and wince in pain, reaching at it with your hand. “Are you okay?” he asks, wide-eyed and worried, as he watches you rub your neck and grimace in pain.

“Am I okay? Are you okay?” you counter, completely floored by the words that left his mouth seconds ago. You have avoided him because you’re an awkward idiot, not because you thought that he’d be up for a re-run. “Did you just suggest what I think you suggested?”

“To be fair, I didn’t suggest it, I simply said that I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” he shrugs.

“Hoseok,” you glare at him, making him laugh. Even now, he laughs.

“I mean… why not?” he shrugs casually and all you can do is stare and blink dumbly at him, reminding yourself that you’re supposed to breathe, too. “If that party showed us anything, it’s that we definitely have chemistry that… goes beyond friendship. I’m not looking for anything serious and as far as I know, you aren’t either,” he continues and after a few seconds of silence, you realize that he’s waiting for some sort of a response from you. Unsure of what to say, you simply nod your head - after all, it is true. You are not looking for a relationship, not after the last two ended in tears and you drowned in vodka and chocolate ice cream. “Why not… take advantage of the opportunity?”

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on what that opportunity is,” you’re not sure why you are even asking him that, when you know damn well what he is implying. You suppose that it would settle the last remains of doubt if you were to hear him say it more directly.

“Two single, and if I may add, incredibly good looking, friends who want, or in our case, don’t want the same things,” he cocks his head to the side, a small smile on his face. He looks way too cute for someone who is suggesting you sex with no added obligations. If you are not terribly mistaken and he has something else entirely on his mind. “Why not take advantage of the situation? And the chemistry - holy hell Y/N, you know we have it.”

He’s… absolutely right. Despite being drunk, you can clearly remember how… feverish you felt that night. You just wanted to keep kissing him, annoyed when you had to part for one second to simply breathe. If you had one more drink in you or if there had been fewer people around you, you’re not sure if the night would end with the two of you fully clothed. You have amazing chemistry as friends and you felt the sexual side of it that night. It would be stupid to deny it when you know well how rare it is to simply click with someone in the manner that the two of you had clicked that night.

“We do… but we’re also friends. And you know how shitty deals like these can end,” you point out the obvious. There are millions of books and movies about how ‘friends with benefits’ is a horrible, terrible idea because there’s an incredibly high chance of it ending in tears. “One of us could end up taking that chemistry to the next level and catch feelings. I’m not good in chemistry – I’m an art history major for a reason,” you joke, relieved when it actually makes him chuckle.

“That’s a good point. But we’re also really good friends, Y/N. We know each other well and we talk. If it would become too much for one of us, we could simply… talk. And I’m not suggesting anything… specific. I’m not here saying we should hook up until one of us decides they want to move on,” he tells you.

“Dude, you’re confusing as fuck,” you sigh, laughing along with him. “What are you suggesting then?”

“I’m just saying,” he grunts as he stands up, pausing to wipe down his jeans, while you make a conscious effort of not looking down because... thighs. “The next time you’re drunk, horny or bored, or even all of the above, you know where to find me.”

He looks down at you, the smile gracing his face slowly turning into the tiniest of smirks, before he gives you a wink. And with that, he simply turns around and walks away, leaving you with your mouth open, looking like a complete idiot while you try to figure out what the fuck just happened.

Nah, you know damn well what just happened. You have enough dating and flirting escapades behind you to recognize the look of someone who’d be happy to fuck you. The particular someone being Jung Hoseok is what is leaving you absolutely shocked and at a loss for words. As honored as you are and as much as the offer is… incredibly tempting, this is not something you can decide on the spot.

No, because you’re a dumbass. Of course you can’t decide this on the spot but you could decide in a matter of seconds that you want to stick your tongue down his throat and let him grab your ass while you grind on him as if your life depended on it. You weren’t expecting this turn of events and unsurprisingly, you have no idea what you should do about it. It’s tempting, in all the wrong ways, but it is also making alarm bells in your head go off. It could easily end in tears - the real question is, would it be worth it?

It took three full songs for you to start wondering if you have stepped through a time machine when you’ve entered Seokjin’s house. How Jungkook managed to convince Yoongi to let him DJ at his birthday party was a mystery that you at first ignored, but by the time he played that one Nicole Scherzinger and 50 Cent song, you’ve decided to investigate. “How much did you pay him to let you DJ?” you laugh at your friend, who looks up at you and grins, dancing in place with his trusty neon green Beats around his neck.

“Come here baby, hey be my baby, hey be my baby,” he sings at you, making you roll your eyes.

“Fuck Jungkook, please don’t drop out of school, you need that degree more than you know,” you say as you offer a comforting pat on his back.

“For your information, the theme of the party is ‘guilty pleasure’,” he announces with a proud smile. “And Nicole just so happens to be mine.”

“You and me both,” you admit with a huff, turning around to scan the room in the search of Jin - you’ve been looking for him for the past couple of minutes, with no luck. “Did you see Seokjin? He went to make me a drink with the gin from his expensive stash, but it’s been like…  half an hour?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods, pointing behind you. “He’s right there with Hobi.”

Those were the only words you needed to hear in order to know what you must do next – hide. You did not bother checking, you did not look back – you simply dropped down to the ground and plopped your ass right next to Jungkook’s feet. “Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” your friend laughs, looking down at you in disbelief. “Are you still hiding from Hobi?”

“No, I’m sitting here because the view of your thighs is nice,” you roll your eyes. “Of course I’m hiding from Hobi! I’m not mentally prepared to deal with him right now. Although, you do have weirdly muscular thighs,” you add absentmindedly - what is it with them and thighs? First Hoseok, now him - do they only do leg days when they hit the gym?

“Stop,” Jungkook laughs down at you. “Are you seriously planning on running from him forever?”

“Not forever,” you shrug casually. “Until the end of the year, maybe.”

“I mean, I can’t stop you… but you do realize that if he finds you here, it’s going to look like you were giving me a blowjob or something?” he pointed out, eliciting another casual shrug from you.

“Good. He’ll think I’m busy and leave me alone,” you offer Jungkook an angelic smile. He knows better than to push you – when you want to, you can be stubborn as all hell and sadly, Jungkook’s has plenty of experience with being on the receiving end of said stubbornness.

You know what he’s thinking – you can tell from the way he shakes his head and decides to ignore your presence by his feet while he focuses his attention to that god-awful playlist of his – you know exactly what he’s thinking and he has a point. You’re pathetic. A coward. An idiot.

You have shamelessly lied to yourself earlier tonight, as you were getting ready for the party. You’ve told yourself, repeatedly, that you are ready to face Jung Hoseok, despite not knowing what your answer is to his suggestion from a few days ago. You have convinced yourself that you were ready to face him. Seeing as you're hiding behind a damn desk, just meters away from him, it’s pretty obvious that you are not.

He hasn’t left your head in days, to the point of even appearing in your dreams, even if he was just on the sidelines. For years, you have been blind to all the gifts Jung Hoseok has to give, and now they’re slapping you in the face all day long.

You want him, that much you’re ready to admit. Definitely to yourself, perhaps even to him. But are you willing to put an entire friendship on the line and go through with that desire? That’s not a question you know the answer to. For the time being, you will just… keep on hiding behind the makeshift DJ booth, until Jungkook informs you that the coast is clear.

“We’re drinking that whiskey tomorrow, got it?” Yoongi asks, referring to the birthday gift you’ve given him earlier, which he had to hide in one of Seokjin’s spare bedrooms, given that the house is full of people who’d drink anything that’d fall into their hands. “You and me, tomorrow night, drinking back at my place. Let’s make it fancy. Wear a beret or something.”

“Why would I wear a beret while drinking whiskey?” you laugh in confusion. “What’s the correlation?”

“Both are fancy,” Yoongi shrugs and after a few seconds, so do you. If he wants to drink expensive whiskey whilst wearing a beret, that’s what you’re going to do. Having a drink or two with Yoongi, in almost complete silence, has become sort of a tradition for the two of you. Compared to the rest of your friend group, you and Yoongi are the quieter, less social ones. How you wound up in a circle of friends that include permanent hyper bunny Jungkook and Mr. Loudest-Laugh-Ever Jin was beyond you.

“Can I join?” you hear Joon’s booming voice. He approaches the two of you, throwing a hand around your shoulder. Glaring, you grab a hold of his hand and move it away from you, watching as Yoongi laughs in confusion at your open hostility towards Namjoon.

“Not you,” you point a finger at him accusingly. “I’m still pissed at you. You haven’t gotten to your redemption ark yet.”

“What did you do now?” Yoongi sighs, looking at Namjoon as if you were not in the middle of the conversation with him.

“I teased her about hiding from Hobi,” Namjoon announces with a shit eating grin. “Guess Speedy Gonzales here doesn’t like to hear the truth.”

“Oh, I’m absolutely avoiding Hoseok,” you admit shamelessly – it’s become obvious now, why would you bother to deny? “I just don’t want to talk about it and you can be one pushy bitch when you really want to.”

“You’re both idiots,” Yoongi shakes his head, sighing. “I truly wonder why I’m friends with you?”

“Well, I buy you good whiskey. Dunno what’s his excuse,” you offer Namjoon one last glare. Deciding you’ve had enough of his judgment and teasing for one night, you beeline towards one of your two safety nets – Sana. As good of a cover Jungkook was, you didn’t want to cockblock the poor boy all night, and he has been talking with some freshman for the last couple of songs. Sana, being practically your only female friend in existence would definitely be more willing to help you out, but by the time you’re halfway towards her, you notice that she is talking to a senior she’s had a crush on pretty much since you’ve met her.

Brilliant. You can either find a new cover or be a cockblocking friend. Whatever you decide to do, you need a drink first. Settling for cheap gin this time around, you venture into the kitchen, ready to get wasted and cursing under your breath at Jungkook’s horrible taste in music, as you are forced to listen to Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ at full blast.

One more drink and it’ll be socially acceptable for you to leave the party. You’ve stuck around for long enough, even managing to enjoy yourself a little bit. Not enough though, not compared to the tension that you’ve been feeling in your gut even before you got here.

“Hi.”

If you were holding your drink, you would have dropped it. Even the sound of his voice is enough to make a shiver run down your spine. Closing your eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath, you muster enough strength to turn around and face him.

Nope, that wasn’t enough strength. You needed more. You needed more to face Jung Hoseok, in ripped skin tight jeans, a black shirt with a v neck, messy hair and a smirk on his face, casually leaning on the wall next to the kitchen door. You could have taken an hour to collect yourself and prepare for your pending doom, and it would not be enough to prepare you for the Hoseok you were facing now. Especially when he is smirking at you, looking at you like he knows exactly what thoughts are roaming around your head. Add to that the horrible soundtrack courtesy of Jungkook, and you are overcome with a sudden wish to die, right here, right now.

“You’ve been avoiding me again,” he points out the obvious.

“And you’re cornering me again,” you argue back, hoping that he didn’t notice you gulping, literally gulping.

“I’m not cornering you,” he chuckles. Your eyes go wide when he stands up straight, no longer leaning on the wall. Slowly, he starts walking towards you and you walk backwards right into the table, no longer having room for an escape. He stops in front of you but he’s too close, too close for comfort, to the point of you being able to see a single freckle on his nose, despite having a decent amount of alcohol in your system already.

“Oh no,” you suddenly move to the right, towards the door, towards your escape. “Stay away from me, Satan!”

“Satan?” he laughs in disbelief.

“Yeah, Satan,” you confirm without a second thought, looking at him up and down. “Did you look into the mirror before you left your house? You’re sex on legs, Hoseok. So yeah. Satan.”

“For someone who’s about to run for the exit, the words you’re saying are making me think you don’t really want to do that,” he laughs, although he doesn’t step any closer to you. As ready as you were to call him Satan just seconds ago, you see his true good self shining through. He’s chasing you, very obviously so, but he is not pushing you too far and you know that he’ll recognize if he actually should step away. He doesn’t want to literally make you run in the opposite direction and the space he leaves between you is confirmation of that.

“You think I don’t want to run?” you ask and immediately he nods. “Maybe. You’re here. You’re hot. For some reason I can’t fathom, you want something with me. That’s inviting, yet very scary at the same time.”

“And do you want something with me?” he asks, no longer smirking.

“Honestly? Yes and no,” you answer, cursing yourself in your mind – alcohol always makes you talk more than you should. But in this case, maybe that’s exactly what you need - just a little bit of honesty. “I’m attracted to you, you’re an amazing kisser and we’re both single. Why not? And the answer to that question is simple -  we’re friends. There’s… way too much at risk here, Hobi.”

“We’re better than that,” he shakes his head immediately. “We’re not stupid, horny teenagers. We know each other well. We’d be mature enough to stay friendly, or at the very least cordial, no matter what happens.”

Both of you do have a reputation of remaining friendly with your exes. Except for your last one, but that’s a story you don’t wish to revisit, especially not tonight. Broken hearts mend with time, people grow, find others and life goes on. If you set the terms the way you both want them, in theory, it truly doesn’t have to end in tears.

“What exactly are you offering me? And miss me with that ‘whatever you want’ bullshit you offered me the other day,” you interrupt him, chuckling when he closes his mouth dumbly, obviously having been ready to say just that. “Do you want to make out? Do you want to fuck me? Once or on a regular basis? To kill time until someone better comes along or in the hopes of it becoming more? I can’t make a decision if you don’t tell me exactly what you want, Hoseok,” you tell him. You were honest with him and now, it’s his turn.

“I want you.”

“Effective, but not effective enough,” you mumble, ignoring the stirring in your stomach that started as he said those words with… earnesty, with meaning. Hearing that you are wanted is always a good fluff up for an ego, but to hear it said like that, dead seriously, by someone you find incredibly attractive? It’s so good, it’s borderline painful.

“I’ll take what you give,” he shrugs casually. “What do you want?” he throws the question back at you. Shameless is what he is.

“A husband, two kids, two dogs and a house with a white picket fence?” you joke.

“Y/N,” he glares playfully at you, laughing. “You might want that down the road but do you really want that now?”

“God no,” you snort in response.

“So what do you want now?” he asks again. “It can be a one-time thing. It can be regular. As you said, we can kill time until someone better comes along,” he rolls his eyes at the phrase, obviously not liking the sound of it. “It doesn’t have to be sex, for all I care. We can just fool around at parties. Or we can pretend like none of this ever happened and just continue being just friends,” he shrugs.

“When you say it like that I wonder if you even want anything from me,” you laugh.

“Y/N, I have barely been able to stop thinking about kissing you ever since that night,” he deadpans, looking straight at you, not a trace of teasing or joking on his face. “Which was pretty horrible, seeing as you’ve been avoiding me and I had a molecular biology paper to finish. I do want you, probably more than you realize or want to accept. And I’m taking whatever it is that you offer. If I had my pick, we’d be friends that… occasionally become more than that.”

“So, to put it in simple terms, you want a friends with benefits thing with me?” you ask.

“Yes. But if you don’t want that, I’ll respect it and stick to it. You’re my friend, Y/N,” he smiles at you and it’s almost calming to be on the receiving end of his genuine smile and not that evil smirk that does things to you. “I’m not losing that friendship if I want to fuck and you don’t. So… whatever you want to do, that’s the way it’s going to be.”

Here you are again, faced with an opportunity that you know will likely end badly for you, perhaps even both of you at once. And again you wonder, if all the possible negatives are worth it - worth of finally succumbing to this sudden and overwhelming desire you feel for Hoseok. Turning his offer into reality… is it worth it?

“I need to think about it,” you close your eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’m not thinking straight right now. I’m not wasted, I’m just… hazed. Horny. However you want to call it. And I don’t trust my judgment around you right now. If we go through with this, I need to have a clear head when making the final decision.”

“Take all the time you need,” when you open your eyes, he’s smiling at you still. “I do have two tiny requests, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Please stop hiding from me. It’s weird and I think you’re scaring Jungkook,” he grimaces.

“You saw that?!”

“Of course I did,” he laughs. “It was cute.”

“Stop!” you order him.

“Okay, okay, I’m stopping,” he lifts his hands up as if he’s surrendering. “I’m pretending you didn’t duck and hide when you heard I was around,” he laughs. The fucker knows how embarrassing it is for you and he’s enjoying every second of it.

“What’s the second request?” you ask, desperately wanting to change the topic.

“Would you let me kiss you again?” he asks.

“Hoseok…” both your words and eyes are warning, as it’s going directly against what you want right now - a clear head. Kissing him would muddle it all, you know it. Not to mention how easier it would be to take things a notch further, given that you both know now that you want more.

“Just one kiss,” he elaborates. “It’s not gonna turn into a kitchen make out session or something more. And if you don’t want it, it’s not happening. We’ll never do something you don’t want, Y/N. You know me, I’m not like that.”

You do know him and you clearly remember him refusing you at first because he thought you might have had too much to drink and were acting out. You didn’t, you were well aware of what you were doing. Yes, you had no idea why you were doing it but your actions were not a drunken side-effect. Not then and not now. And damn it, you really want to kiss him again.

“One kiss,” you lift your hand in warning, but that was enough for him. He takes a few steps and closes the distance between you – was he being deliberately slow or were you imagining things, you’re not sure. All you know is, it lasted enough for your heart to start going into overdrive even before your lips met his.

It’s just a kiss, but at the same time, it isn’t. He’s not grinding against you, he’s not groping you, he’s not taking it anywhere it shouldn’t go. His hands are in place on your waist, gentler than you remember them being the last time. He’s respectful and careful, in every way except with the actual kiss. Before you even get to mentally prepare yourself for it, he parts your lips with his and tongue meets yours.

You’re the one who moves. You’re the one who threatens to take this further than it should go, as you put your hands around his neck and run your fingers through his hair, pressing your body just a bit closer to his.

It’s his fault. His kiss made you do it. He’s way too good of a kisser for his own good.

Thankfully, the one who initiated it is also the one who pulls away. Breathless and with eyes on your lips, Hobi moves away, letting your hands drop out of his hair as he keeps a safe distance.

“One kiss,” he repeats your earlier words. “Until you tell me you want more.”

Yeah, it meddled with your mind. Despite telling him you need more time to think about it, you know it’s already settled in your mind. You’ll definitely be coming back for more.

[dulce-pjm]

cheek to cheek

request for taehyung from @kidcoredreamz (thanks bae!!) 

listen to “cheek to cheek” by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong and “i get along without you very well” by chet baker for maximum effect

make your own request here using these prompts!

cheek to cheek

word count: 3.1k

genre: fluff, arrangedmarriage!au

summary: it’s night like these that you wish things were different

Taehyung is guaranteed, always has been. 

From the minute your tiny fingers could interlock with his, you were dragging each other around the mansions and garden parties, sneaking off to corners with desserts and chocolate milk and getting sugar rushes together. Time with Taehyung comes easy and passes quickly, the hours with him condensing into minutes and the few minutes without him stretching into lonesome years. 

You’ve seen him through thick and thin. Through acne flare ups and awkward conversations and never-ending games of tag. You’ve seen him pick his nose, cry over spilled milk (or, in his case, a broken remote-control race car), get caught sneaking out. You’ve comforted him while he felt broken, laughed until your sides were aching. You know his ins and outs, his rough edges and corners, his soft spots he tries to hide. 

Marrying him should be a blessing. 

To spend the rest of your life with the person who’s stuck by your side throughout everything is a future some can only dream about. To have someone understand you so perfectly, to understand them like no one else will. It should be a blessing. 

It should be. 

The digital clock reads 11:57 when he knocks on the window. 

You’ve always had a weird thing about having a room on the ground floor, when possible. It’s closest to the front door, in case of an emergency. And there’s no risk of tripping downstairs when you’re sleepily moving around in the night. And, most importantly, it’s easy to sneak out when you need to. 

While you’re a little startled, you’re nothing close to afraid. You know exactly what face to expect as you throw open the sheer curtains, silken pajama sleeves hanging over your fingers and eyes swollen from sleep. 

The moonlight makes his silvery hair seem otherworldly, a soft glow coming off of his locks. A few months ago, you’d been more than opposed to his sudden need to dye his hair, but you really shouldn’t have been surprised. The odd color just makes him more ethereal. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you hiss, opening the bay window and letting the frigid air slam you in the face. Your eyes comb over the rest of his figure, your brows furrowing at his dark hoodie and sweats, a black hoodie crumpled in one of his hands. Anyone else would have assumed he was an intruder. 

“Visiting my fiancée?” he tries, flashing a lopsided grin. “Thought we could sneak out again. For old times’ sake.” 

“We’re not kids anymore, Tae,” you huff. 

“That doesn’t mean we have to be boring.” 

You cross your arms as a chill runs down your spine from the cool breeze. “It’s midnight. I’m in my pajamas.”

“Well, then you better change.” You stare at him indignantly for a moment, wondering just how much of a doormat he thinks you are. 

“Please?” he adds, batting his lashes teasingly. “I have a surprise. You’ll like it, promise.”

“But will I like it more than I’d like crawling back into bed? Can’t it wait until morning?”

“No. Let’s be a little spontaneous, like we used to be.”

You won’t lie. The soft duvet, still warm, is calling to you strongly. You know that as soon as your head hit the pillow again, you’d be out. Sleeping like a baby. 

But it’s Taehyung’s half-assed pout and an unfortunately strong curiosity that compels you to slip on the nearest t-shirt and sweats for the designated “not-dirty-enough-for-the-basket-yet” chair and climb out the window with a sigh. 

-- 

“It’s Dad’s latest passion project. It was my suggestion, but I think he’s enjoying it more than me.”

You’re enjoying yourself more than you’d like to admit, too. You aren’t sure what urged Taehyung or his wealthy, CEO father to pour their time and effort into a run down museum, but you sure are glad they did. It’s like walking through a ghost town, dust coating the walls and old exhibits. Only some of the lights work and there’s renovation supplies littering the floors. You and Taehyung stick to each other’s sides in the poorly lit areas to avoid tripping and meeting a sorry end via paint roller. 

This certainly isn’t the first time you’ve been out late with Taehyung. When you were in high school and determined to rebel against your parents’ constricting ways, the two of you often found yourselves roaming the city and laughing much too loudly during a time when you should have been catching up on sleep or homework. 

Being with Taehyung was never too much of a risk. His parents always fell victim to your innocent smiles and mumbled apologies, while yours believed Taehyung could do no wrong. After they yelled and scolded and nearly tore their hair out, soon they were only shaking their heads and smiling at each other knowingly. It was hard to be mad for long when things were really working even better than planned. 

“What do you think it means?” Taehyung asks as the two of you stare at the large mural. It’s filled with wide strokes of color, abstract shapes littering the foreground with seemingly no pattern or reason. You really can’t even see the whole thing, when Taehyung turned on the lights for this room, only two or three managed to flicker on. 

You tap your chin, deep in thought. “Well, the red is clearly...” You tilt your head. “It’s clearly having a battle with the yellow. They represent good and evil. And the purple in the back is hope.” Taehyung tilts his head in the same direction as yours, brows knit in concentration. 

“You really got all that from... that?” You snort. 

“Nah, I just bullshitted it. I have no idea what it means.” Taehyung giggles, shoving you in the side. You stumble, yelping dramatically and nearly crashing into a probably very expensive bust of some historical figure you wouldn’t recognize. 

“I was being serious, Y/N.” You laugh at his pouty expression, resisting the urge to poke him in the side in revenge. You don’t want to start a fight you know you can’t win. 

After trying to make sense of the abstract mural for a few moments, you move out of the art exhibits on to the historical section, looking at the old skeletons and fossils and relics from years and years ago. 

It’s fun trying to guess the names of the different dinosaur skeletons, cackling obnoxiously at all the ridiculous things you can combine with “—asaurus.” You take turns reading the puns scattered on the colorful signs throughout the exhibit, groaning at the bad ones and acknowledging the okay ones with a tiny chuckle. You laugh the hardest when Taehyung spots the fake alligators and climbs onto the display, insisting you take his picture so he can look cool. 

“Tae, you can clearly tell you’re inside!” He scoffs. 

“Just take the picture!” he insists. “Don’t I look like Steve Irwin?”

The photos all come out insanely blurry, your arms shaking too much as you try to hold in your giggles. 

When you were first told of the arrangement at age sixteen, you cried. You sobbed and you wailed and you screamed and you locked yourself in your room in protest for an entire day. Your parents couldn’t understand it. You loved Taehyung. More than your own family. More than anything else. They loved him too. He was the son of a close friend and a union would benefit business, certainly. 

When you eventually came out of your bedroom, you refused to talk about it. You only mumbled that you were sorry and your parents knew better than to ask questions and so, that was the end of it. 

“Taehyung!” you shout, grabbing his wrist and dragging him across the antiques exhibit. You’d both already tried (and failed) at using the dusty typewriter and moved on to playfully arguing about who should pose with the guillotine when your eyes locked onto an item across the room. 

“What is it?” he laughed, stumbling after you, all smiles. 

“It’s a phonograph,” you explain. It appears in near-perfect condition despite the circumstances, the brass horn shiny and golden like it’d been made yesterday. “You can play records on it.” 

He nods in understanding. “We should try it.” The idea is tempting, but your hopes for it working are fairly low. “There’s already a record on it, just try to get it to play.”

You lean forward, fingers mentally crossed as you fiddling with the needle and try winding the crank. The gears squeak terribly inside the main compartment, making you cringe. But you keep winding it, stepping back and squeezing your eyes tight in anticipation. 

When you’re met with silence instead of music, you sigh in defeat. “Well, I guess that’s alright, it’s pretty old anyway, let’s—”

Suddenly, the machine fizzles to life, record slowly turning on the turntable and a jazzy tune carries through the air. Taehyung cheers, clapping on the shoulder. 

“You did it!” Your smile quickly stretches into your cheeks, exhaustion long forgotten as you relax in the nice sound, soft piano and pleasant singing filling your ears. 

You begin subconsciously swaying to song, fingers drumming to the beat absentmindedly on your thighs. Taehyung seems to know the song, quietly singing a few lyrics every one and a while. 

“Let’s dance,” he says suddenly. Your stomach tightens. 

“Let’s not,” you reply quickly, arms hugging your sides. You stare ahead, trying to focus on the song rather than the person beside you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him lean slightly closer, lolling his head to the side. 

“Why not?” 

You sigh. You don’t really have an answer. 

Your hand finds his, fingers interlocking as you let Taehyung guide you out into a relatively clearly spot, tennis-shoe clad feet shuffling lightly to the music. You’ve danced with him in other settings, with many more eyes watching. You’re normally dressed perfectly, not a hair out of place and a thick layer of makeup coating your eyes and cheeks. 

“Remember that time your mom made us take dance lessons when we were twelve?” Taehyung asks, a glint in his eye. 

You scoff. “I remember the part where you gave me laxatives right before the first lesson, yeah.” Taehyung can barely keep his grip on you, moving his other hand to your waist in an attempt to steady himself as his shoulders shake with laughter. 

“I really thought it was regular tea, I promise.”

“Sure you did.”

“I did! I thought we were being all fancy like our parents and drinking fancy tea like fancy rich people.”

“Then why didn’t you drink the laxative tea, huh?”

“I don’t like tea. I just put milk in my teacup and hoped you wouldn’t notice.” You snort, hands settled all to comfortably on his shoulders as the smooth voice croons and echoes off of the walls. 

It’s intimate. There’s nowhere else to look but his eyes as he places a hand on your waist, pulling you closer with a soft smile. The room feels warmer, his breath barely skimming across your face at the close proximity. 

It forces you to think about the things you’d much rather keep inside. 

This should be nice. It should be normal and romantic and sweet, to be slow-dancing with your fiancée. Your smile should be light and endeared and love-struck, not forced and fake. 

There’s a heavy pang in your heart as you remember. Remember how much love him. How much you care. How much you want to hold him close, press your lips on his without a single bit of hesitance. 

But you can’t do those things, knowing the things you do. To Taehyung, this marriage is a convenience. It’s a way to please his parents and strengthen his business connections and do it all with his best friend. He’s always been perfectly content with the arrangement, perfectly content to marry for everything but love. 

And how are you supposed to feel, wanting to marry him for the very thing he doesn’t feel for you?

He’s all you’ve ever wanted. You would have left this life a long time ago, but it would mean sacrificing him. You’re too selfish to do that. You want him all to yourself, every part that you can get. 

You’ve seen every side of him, the weird and the sad and sweet. You want it all. But you’ll never have it. 

You wish it were real. That this were a romantic night away, that you’d wake up in the morning all tangled in his arms. It’s this intimacy that you crave but can never enjoy, not when you know it’s all fake.

And he knows you too. Knows something is up when that little knot between your brows forms and your eyes grow just a little glassy.

“What’s wrong?” You quickly straighten your spine, blinking away any tears pricking at your eyes. 

“Nothing, I’m fine.” But Taehyung knows. He leans forward slightly, dark eyes piercing through your very soul. You gulp as you feel his body heat on your own skin, releasing your hands from his shoulders in your panic. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” you breathe. Your gaze falls as you step back, the music tapering off as the phonograph finally gives out and the moment is fully broken.

But instead of letting you slip away, his grip tightens, look growing desperate.

“Wait! Just a second.” You can see him itch to run his hand through his hair, but his arms don’t leave you. “You’ve been acting so weird lately. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?” You furiously shake your head. 

“No, that’s not it. I just—” You stop yourself before too many words spill out and you say something you can’t take back.

When you don’t elaborate, Taehyung’s face falls further. “Seriously, what is it? Am I really making you that upset?”

“No, I—”

“Is it because I dragged you out so late? I’m sorry, it’d just been so long since I saw you and I missed you—”

“Just shut up!” you cry, shoving him off of you for good. A few tears wet your cheeks and your face heats with embarrassment. “It’s because you pull this kind of stupid, romantic shit that makes me love you even more than I already do but I know you don’t see us that way.”

Taehyung’s eyes go wide, but you suppose since it’s all on the table, you’ll keep going. “I know this is all just fun and games and easy to you but it fucking hurts, Taehyung. You can’t lead people on like this. You can’t do this shit and expect me not to feel something for you.”

The phonograph crackles in the corner of the room, unable to play pretty tunes or sweet songs anymore. It sounds restless and broken and unpleasant to hear. 

“Maybe I wanted you to feel something for me.” You whip your head up, cheeks still hot from mortification and anger. 

“What?”

“You heard me. I wanted you to love me. Because I love you.” 

When you kiss him, it’s like a breath of fresh air. It’s hungry and rushed as your fingers gently tug on his hair and his palm is splayed on the small of your back, pulling you as close to him as humanly possible. 

At some point, you end up pressed against the wall, euphoric as he trails pecks down your jaw and neck incessantly, like he’s trying to make up for every time he wished he’d kissed you. You whine when he parts his lips, tugging on his hair as he fastens your body against him. He tastes like the peppermint chapstick he always keeps in his pocket. The habit had ruined a pair of his dress pants before when it melted all in the pocket, but he’s always been too stubborn about chapped lips to learn his lesson and carry it elsewhere. You can smell his shampoo and the faint scent of his cologne. Everything that fills your senses is him and only him. 

You feel a few tears sting at the corner of your eyes but you ignore them, gasping for breath between long kisses, a few giggles escaping you when you see you’re not the only one lightheaded. 

After what feels both like hours and seconds, Taehyung pulls away, his lips swollen and pink, but stretched into that adorable grin that hasn’t changed since you were kids. 

“Sorry I didn’t say something earlier,” he murmurs. “I never could find the right words to say it and I knew it’d make everything awkward if you didn’t feel the same way.” You laugh mirthlessly, cupping his face gently with your hands. 

“Same here.” You sigh. “Guess we’re both idiots.”

“Guess so.” 

It's a little frightening to stare at him like this. You’ve always held your guard tightly whenever you felt even close to your feelings being compromised, but that weight you’d carried for so long as suddenly detached itself from your shoulders, leaving you free floating. Yes, it’s like floating untethered through the air or being caught in the ocean with your life jacket. It’s scary and daunting and unknown. But it’s nice to know that you’ll have Taehyung’s hand tightly holding yours the whole way. 

“Since I confessed first, I think you should pose for a picture with the guillotine.” Taehyung’s intent stare breaks, his face crinkling in disgust. 

“But I kissed you first.”

“Only because I said I loved you.”

“If you really loved me, you’d pose with the guillotine and I could pose like I’m the executioner.” Now it’s your turn to be disgusted. 

“That’s so fucking morbid, Kim Taehyung.” You smack his arm, but he keeps you against the wall, thigh between your legs as he leans in again. 

“Only for you,” he murmurs, planting his lips on yours again. 

The scoff about to leave your mouth is caught in your throat as you’re enveloped in his embrace, kissing each other dizzy until you’re certain the sun must be rising soon. 

You wouldn’t mind too much if it did, though. 

As Taehyung keeps trying to convince you to take stupid photos and explain abstract art to him, you aren’t sure how much a blessing he is. All you really know is that he’s your guarantee, your anchor in this unforgiving world. You aren’t sure where he’ll take you next, what random time he’ll decide is the best for your future adventures. You can’t know what the rest of your life holds, only that he’ll be next to you as long as he can. 

And that’s enough for now.