#clock app has me losing my mind

[pomfiores]

     birthday cake water? adding syrups to water?  powdered packets??? of sugar?  birthday cake water????????????????????????

[vvluvmai]

𝑭𝑺𝑴 ✩ 𝑰𝑵𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑼𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑬

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ(adj.) incapable of expressing oneself clearly through speech

warn. Fem reader, ooc kaiser?, Tiny spoilers, mentions of alcohol, drunk kaiser, nicknames (mein singvogel [my songbird], princess, bastard), not exactly proofread, angst w/ comfort, part ii INARTICULATE

sum. With the stress and frustration from losing to mr. Blue Lock, from the humility of being called a clown of his story, and bottling up his emotions into a tiny bottle since the start of his career, he finally let it burst behind the doors of your shared bedroom, in which he thought you were gone.

char. Micheal Kaiser

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ☔︎⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

A nervous figure sat on the couch, accompanied by slow jazz playing in the background with a calming rain lending comfort to the anxious and paranoid figure, who did anything to distract herself from the pang in her chest, the rising pace of her heartbeat. You who scrolled through any media your eyes can take, you who ignored your jittery legs, who tried to ignore the thoughts clouding your mind were now growing exponentially anxious.

The clicking clock neither help in your comfort, only making you more nervous – nothing had helped in your case, drinking, taking long breaths in&out, working, writing, none helped your beating heart, the absence of your teasing and loving boyfriend worsened it. Oh where could your prince be at such a time like this?

He hasn't texted or called you of his whereabouts since his game, which resulted in a loss for bastard munchen, ended. Finally having enough of it, you opened your phone once again, instead of scrolling mindlessly, you opened the phone call app, searching through the many saved contacts of loved ones and friends and clicking on the one you were after, probably, the most trusted friend of your boyfriend, Alexis Ness.

Within a few seconds he picked up, your tone was shaky as you spoke, trying to calm it and speak normally. You knew what Kaiser does to himself when a defeat was upon him, and now the passing hours of his absence, you don't know if he ended up drunk at a bar, or beating himself up at some alleyway "hi, ness?" "Ah y/n, why must you've called so late at night? It's nearly 10:30 pm." "I- uh apologise if I had uh awakened you from y-your sleep but have you seen kaiser anywhere? His whereabouts, is he training late or is he at your or your teammate's house?" Before you bombard his ear with your ongoing rambling of his friend's whereabouts, he asked a question you most dreaded. "Wait, he's not at your house? He told me he would be going to your house as soon as our match ended." "A-ah.. no, well I better get going now, sleep well ness. Don't overwork yourself too much Kay?" "h-hey wai-" you cut the phone without a second thought, leaving it on the coffee table. Taking your car keys you made your way to the locked front door but coming to an abrupt stop as you heard keys rattling and the door's lock unlocking. With the only person who has the keys to the shared penthouse was Kaiser, your thoughts ran berserk, 'oh dear, has someone murdered Kaiser and stolen his keys?', you thought. Positioning your keys in such a way it can injure a person. Stepping back as the door opened revealed a drenched in rain, drunk and cheek stained with defeated tears man, it was him who stood before you, the narcissistic, princely, asshole and bastard munchen's greatest, Micheal Kaiser, who now stood as a broken man.

Your keys fell to the ground, rushing to his side having no care of his drenched clothes staining yours and locking the door behind you. "Oh darling, what have you done to yourself.." your caring and comforting voice filled his ears, a small faint smile forming at the hearing of it. "Will you have the comfort of knowing the doings of mine?" You scrunch your nose at the smell of alcohol reeking from his mouth, sitting him down on the couch leaving behind the trail of water you have to clean up, you left to retrieve water for him but stopped at the feeling of a tug at your shirt. You looked back, Kaiser raising his head to face you, new crystal tears "don't leave me here all alone." His mouth quivering, it broke you, so, so bad. You failed to lend him the comfort he needed, you failed to notice how much he needed you. Leaving him to fulfil your own duties and work, rubbing off his needy behaviour, unable to see the chagrined face behind his smiling and whiny voice. The past three weeks were tiring and ridden you both of life, sleeping through even when Kaiser woke up from reoccurring nightmares, unable to brave through no matter how often it happens. "Alright, I won't go, I won't go. I will be beside you, every moment of it, I will never leave you, even after death" you reassured calmly, moments away from crying with him. He pulled you into a tight hug, sobbing quietly, choking on his tears every now and then, barely able to speak of his emotions through speech. You silently patted his head, combing his hair with your fingers. You didn't even care about the wet spots on your shirt, some with spit and some with tears. He needed this, never had he had this comfort in his life. "I'm s-sorry-" "for what?" You spoke gently, he looked at you with wide teary eyes. "Micheal, you are an amazing boyfriend, everything I could ask for. Everyone has their moments of failure and such, those are unable to face it, fall, week. And those are, rise, strong and you are one of the strongest man I have ever met, physically and emotionally. You faced everything alone, I want to accompany you, in your struggles and mote. Will l you let me face your struggles together like you do with me?" "God, why do you love such an asshole like me, you should just leave like they said.." he spoke despondently, wiping away his tears aggressively "who told you you were an asshole? I don't care what they say, I don't care what the media says, I don't care what anyone says, I will never leave you, no matter. You are worth everything in this world, the things you do for me are thoughtful and always held with good intention, everytime you buy me a gift, it has a meaning behind it, and I wish I had the money to buy you something back, fuck if I was rich I would give you the entire world if I could." He hid his face in the crook of your neck, wrapping his arms around you, more gently and less tightly. His brows furrowed, the thoughts, the nightmare in his mind were leaving the more you spoke. Other than ness, no one had ever thought of him so lovingly this much. A smile was slowly plastered to his face, it stayed hidden.

"I.. I love you so much.. Thank you for staying beside me.., even when I'm being hard sometimes, you still deal with me. Thank you for bringing me comfort, mein singvogel. I never felt so.. happy. Thank you" he spoke quietly, he felt small but secure. Your soft voice spoke yet again "there's no need to thank me, kai, now let's get you cleaned up shall we?" "Will you join?" He spoke slyly, revealing his tiny sly smile, you chuckled joyfully "even after all this, you managed to be such a sly lil shit, that's what I love the most about you" without a second, you cupped his face kissing him fervently. His wife eyes now glued shut, pushing you, hugging you into a kiss. You both broke apart, "stop looking at my lips and look at my eyes you bastard" you giggled "just let me have this moment princess" you huffed out a falsely annoyed 'fine', softly pinching his cheeks "ow, stop thattt your hurting mee" he whined, it was moments like this you cherished most, it felt most lively, most wholesome and most loving. "C'mon now, let's get you to bath" "only if you join" he retorted back "alright fine, now c'mon, get going" with ecstasy, he followed, like a lost but happy puppy, thinking of a stranger as it's new mother.

𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 —

mein singvogel - my songbird

copyright © @https-y2kcom

Fufufu I finished this within the day, kaiser is such a silly man sometimes

Tags: @kaiserkisser

[quanticq]

Hey Q! Sorry for bothering you, but for some reason I can no longer find any of your tik tok accounts 😭 Did they get deleted or something?

Hi this is Q! I’m coming out of the woodwork to address this, since I did went radio silent out of the blue so it’s not a bother at all

The short answer is Yes, I deleted my tiktok

Yes delete not deactivate, I’m not coming back to That app or IG or Twt, I deleted my socials except here and YouTube, I honestly felt so overwhelmed with everything, I realized I’m not even posting for myself anymore there. A lots of people crossed my boundaries time and time again I felt so helpless, bitter with myself. I guess I was just overwhelmed with the attention I got; both positive and negatives ones.

Im done and I want to start over so that’s why I’m here and on YouTube, I already posted some of these on my community tab on YT but here’s what I have in mind for the future of the content I want to create: more detail under the cut, and also;

CW: very brief mention of spiraling, harm inflict oneself or others, paranoia, etc

•Long-form content: my attention span is a bit messed up from consuming and making short-form content to the point where I can’t focus in university. I want to create something meaningful. It’s not that my previous content was not meaningful, no. I had fun and no time is wasted when I have fun, it was warm… but as I mentioned earlier, I just felt this lingering bitterness the longer I stayed making those short-form content. It really felt like I was on the verge of losing it. Especially with how the bigger following I have the less people think of me as a person than just another content creator you see on the internet,

I want to create long-form content, I’m so tired of forcing myself to generate 15 second content. On tiktok it just feels like I’m just creating and not really connecting. I want to try something new, maybe create an open space for meaningful discussion in the comments. I don’t think I can stand another copy-paste tiktok comment anymore. You know what I meant if you’re frequent on that app.

•Art Content with Commentary: and don’t worry this won’t be those petty artist drama issue, but I will still cover anything serious

it could be love letters or video essays ranging from fan fictions, fandom culture, the art scene and so much more. I may even share a bit of my personal life, this will be self indulgent after all! I want to make it fun for myself and as well to those who comes across my channel. I really REALLY want to create a genuine following.

On tiktok it’s so easy to gain following but not so easy to retain them, it’s mostly because of the algorithm and the FYP feature there.

On Tiktok most content that would get featured as an artist there would be creative work has to be either; more than exceptional which is pressuring enough already to consistent posters, straight up suggestive content shown to minors (tiktok doesn’t really have a blocked keywords feature but it’s so disheartening to see these creators intentionally not using the sensitive warning since it could limit their reach significantly) oh yes we can’t forget the negativity surrounding beginner artists or “art lore”

All of this cesspool of negativity, it’s a whole can of worms but it will be one of my prominent topics that I wish to discuss in my future art commentaries. I hope you guys are looking forward to those! I might bring in a few people or so to talk about it with me

and finally;

•Streaming: I used to do a lot of streams during the weekends on the clock app and it was super fun! I want to bring that back but that would have to wait since I’m unfamiliar with some features on YouTube, and I’m aware that YT does not have a discoverable feature for stream but that’s alright, I want to start something small first.

In short; I’ll figure it out! just need some baby steps before I start streaming again.

.

I apologize for deleting everything out of the blue, if I’m gonna be honest it was partially planned because I’ve been thinking about deleting my tiktok, twitter and Instagram for a while now but how it happened? In my breakdown I realized that I don’t want anyone to see me spiral, especially now that I realized how young my audience are, I’m not sure how that happened but I guess posting fandom contents does attract the young ones somehow inevitably, even though my content is nowhere near as suggestive, but I do talk about serious topics from time to time… but I digress, its not fair for them to deal with me if they see me spiral publicly,

it is especially not fair to them to console me. When I was younger than 14, I’ve been in a position where I have to talk down someone who was older, maybe 4-5 years older than me, from harming themselves or anyone, it was traumatizing and unpleasant. I don’t wish for anyone to go through that, it’s very painful.

It’s been… hard for me to ground myself. Ive been seeing things through a kaleidoscope of emotions; I was trying to focus on everything but it’s just too overwhelming so eventually I cracked. But please don’t worry I’ve been doing better now, after some time away from my online persona, and of course spending time with my beloved girlfriend, I see things much more clearly now.

Thank you to anyone who read this and much so appreciate those who understand where I’m coming from

Also now that I think of it can my stuff be considered as lost media now? Amazing! But please don’t be sad the fun I had was genuine!

Thank you again to those who genuinely enjoyed my content on tiktok but it’s time for me to try my hand at something new, I will still be dwelling in my creative headspace just.. away from public for now,

if you’re looking forward for my future post, make sure to check out my YouTube! I still have a lot I need to cook hehe, this is one of the few!

More post soon, Bye bye! -Q

[sunny-reis]

hi! can i request akito shinonome x reader where they get into an argument? maybe it takes them a few days to make up because akito is stubborn and reader is a bit shy and overthinks like "what if he doesnt want me anymore" or whatever. oneshot please..! thank you, and have a nice day!! dont write if you dont wanna :)

oneshot - post-argument tension w/ akito

i wish i never ever told you all about it, but i just had to let you know; never meant to hurt you, tho

notes: pjsk req woohoo 🤠 i'm not sure if you wanted them to make up after the whump so ,.,,.,. we ball lmao

tags: gender-neutral reader, you're friends with ena, an, and kohane

word count: 1,987

thirteen hours and twenty-six minutes.

that’s how long you’ve gone without hearing the familiar ding! of a message from akito. it’s almost half past nine now, you note, double-checking the small alarm clock on the side table by your bed. it's been more than half a day since you’ve talked to the redheaded idiot you call a boyfriend, and you can't help but be pissed (and worried sick, but you're too angry to think about that right now. he doesn't deserve my worry, you think).

it all started late yesterday, when he was supposed to come over to your place after his afternoon dance practice – the two of you had made plans to visit a cute new bakery opening on main street. needless to say, he completely ignored your texts and calls, replying hours later with a simple “sorry, i forgot. catch up with you later.” being human, you replied with a series of passive-aggressive texts, inevitably leading to an explosive argument. you sat on the couch for what felt like hours after, kicking around the stupid cow plushie he won you at a summer fair now on the ground. how hard is it to call ahead? or keep a stupid promise?

and so, here you are, listening to music in bed and staring emptily at the ceiling. a single thought floats around in your head: what the hell’s up with akito? he’s never been the type to be dry, not even on the numerous times when he's been frustrated out of his mind with schoolwork, or fed up with family politics and his dad. the night goes by slowly, and after far too much moping, you huff and sit up against the headboard. pausing your music, you open the messages app to (wishfully) check for a text from akito, only to be met with the same “hey aki, call me when you're free” you sent hours ago. sighing, you text the one person you think would know where he is: ena.

you - 10:32

hey ena !

is aki home? he won't reply to me

minutes later, a message bubble pops up.

enanan - 10:37

umm yeah

but he looked pretty tired when he came home an hour ago

you bite your nail, a force of habit; akito’s dance practice ends at 3:20 at the very latest. what on earth has he been doing for the past six hours?

you - 10:38

oh okay ;-;

ena - 10:38

did he say something to you?

i’ll kick his ass if he did something stupid

just say the word !!

you let out a small laugh, wrapping the covers tighter around yourself. count it on ena to keep him straight.

you - 10:39

nonono i was just overthinking !

poor guy’s probably exhausted :(

ena - 10:40

probably

get some rest though !! no man’s worth losing sleep over

you - 10:40

yeahhh i probably should

you too !!

ena - 10:41

eh i’ll try

night y/n :)

you - 10:41

nighttt

unfaithful to your words, you do not get some rest. instead, you spend far more time than you should mindlessly scrolling through anything and everything you can find on your phone to distract yourself from your thoughts, somehow ending up playing through a particularly spicy story on episode at two am. looking up from the dim screen, you sigh. ena’s right - no man’s worth losing sleep over. tapping furiously through the rest of the episode, you toss your phone under the pillow next to you and shut your eyes, trying to sleep.

although you managed to get a good six hours of sleep, you find your eyes shooting awake at 8:37 am. although it's the weekend, a sunday, you've become accustomed to waking up at the ass-crack of dawn to get ready. sitting up and stretching, you quietly pad down to the bathroom to fix yourself, being rid of last night's woes.

after a small breakfast of cereal and orange juice, you make a list of everything you plan to do today; an, a member of akito’s dance group and one of your closest friends, proposed you, ena, and kohane go out for lunch at one of the numerous cafes on main street. going outside definitely sounds better than sitting at home and sulking, so you set off to the cafe an send the address to at noon.

a little bell chimes as you open the door, instantly hit by the sweet aroma of various pastries on display. you see everything, from blueberry muffins to finely decorated cakes; your wallet feels lighter at the sight of them. making your way over to a table in the secluded corner where an waves at you, signature smile plastered on your face, you sit down on the booth. next to you sits ena, and across, an and kohane.

“hey, y/n, good to see you!” says ena, followed by a small wave from kohane.

“hello hello! i haven't seen you in a while, kohane, how’s everything going?” you ask, setting your bag down next to you.

“sorry,” she replies sheepishly, “we've been so busy with practice and school, i barely get the energy to catch up!”

“aw,” you frown, once again thinking about akito, “don't tire yourself out too much.”

“ah, it's only for a little bit! once we finish nail last routine, we’ll be done with practice and ready to perform!” an laughs; kohane only sighs.

“yeah, but it's so hard…toya and akito have been cooped up at the studio for ages, now. if it’s hard for them, imagine how hard it is for me!”

“hey, don't sell yourself short, kohane! i’ve seen the way you dance, you make it look so easy!” says ena, taking a sip of the her coffee. you nod in agreement.

“trust me, whatever you're doing is working! aki’s tried teaching me some moves – let's just say it didn't end well.” the four of you chatter away giddily until a waiter brings over a fancy rack of desserts to sample, courtesy of an. there are a humble few slices of cake, and far too many small treats you don't know the name of.

“wow, an, you sure have a keen eye for desserts!” says ena, happily finishing her coffee with a cat-shaped cookie.

“of course i do, i haven't been working at a cafe for nothing!”

“oh, you!”

a little while after you all finish, you say your goodbyes to an and kohane, leaving you an ena at scramble crossing.

“so…do you wanna walk around, or go back home? i have some time to kill.” she asks, the two of you crossing the road as the cars come to a halt.

“i’m fine with walking, i don't really have anything to do at home.” you shrug, checking your watch. it’s only 2:45 and the only thing waiting for you at home is a full washing machine, so you opt to wander around the city with ena.

somewhere around the local playground, the two of you have a heart-to-heart on the far-too-small swings.

“has everything been okay with you and akito?” she asks, leaning against the chain, “i feel like something’s up. you can talk to me about it if you want.” you sigh.

“well…kind of? i think he's been ignoring me and i’m really worried. i don't think i did anything to upset him, and he’s been really exhausted lately.”

“oh, yeah, he's been coming home later too. i don't blame him, really. i guess perfectionism is a family disease.”

“definitely,” you shake your head, “i'm not angry at him at all, but i feel…hurt.” she sits up alertly.

“why? did he say something?”

“no, no, that's the problem! he missed our date the other day, but he said sorry and we fought over text. i feel so bad, but i know i’m not being irrational, and he's ghosting me! we’ve fought before, but what if this is it?” ena mumbles under her breath, something about a “stupid kid”.

“you both really are perfect for each other, you know that?” you tilt your head in confusion.

“how so?”

“you're both so hard-headed,” she laughs, “and stupid, sometimes. although that's more him than you.”

“i guess so.”

“but seriously, let me talk to him at home. maybe then he’ll get the balls to apologize and it’ll all be okay again.”

“you don't need to get tangled up in this mess, ena, don't worry-”

“oh, shut up! no man is worth lowering your standards for, that applies to him, too! maybe it’ll do you both some good, too.”

“you're the best, really.” you say, squeezing her hand.

“oh, i know.” ena flounces; you laugh, getting off the swing and brushing the sand off your lap. the walk to your house is short, or so you assure ena, but she walks back with you anyways.

“don't worry about akito, okay? i’ll handle him.” she says, walking down the steps to your house. you nod, waving at her as she leaves. deep down, the two of you know that won't be happening – worrying about akito is a part of the package, so you’ve come to realize.

you decide to spend the rest of the day lazing around on the couch, snacking on popcorn as you binge chick flicks. as you subconsciously replay the events of the past two days in the back of your mind, the guilt settles in. you sit up, checking your phone for any messages and signs of life from akito, and flinching at the sudden brightness. looking around, the state of the living room is as pathetic as you feel. there are popcorn kernels where you tried (and failed) to throw them in the small trash can, pillows strewn all over the floor, blankets folded messily, each mess driving you crazier by the minute. pausing the movie, you sigh, getting up to clean whatever you see. although you still feel like garbage mentally, seeing the room decently clean makes you feel slightly better.

before you realize it, you're yawning and no longer paying attention to mean girls playing on the laptop in bed. sitting up and stretching, you set it on the nightstand, wrap yourself up in a blanket cocoon, and begin to fall asleep.

you're woken out of your peaceful slumber by the abrupt ring of the doorbell. rubbing your eyes, you pad to the front door, opening it to see none other than-

“aki? what are you doing here, it’s the middle of the night?” he’s drenched, clearly having walked here in the ongoing downpour behind him. how cliché. you let him in, helping him feel off his jacket and fetching him a towel.

“so, are we gonna talk about the elephant in the room?” you ask, sitting down next to him on the couch. he looks down at his feet.

“yeah, we probably should.”

“speak your peace, then, i’m listening.”

“well…i’m sorry i've been an ass,” akiro sighs, “everything’s been so overwhelming lately.”

“i’m sorry, too. i shouldn’t have been so passive-aggressive, it clearly only made things worse.” he shakes his head.

“no, i get it. i was in the wrong and i lashed out at you for no reason. i missed our date, too! i’ve been really shitty to you, you don't deserve any of that.”

“i understand why it happened, aki,” you say, giving him a small smile and grasping his hand in yours, “you can talk to me when things get rough, though, you know what.”

“i know, i know, and i'm sorry.”

“no use dwelling on the past now, i guess, yeah?”

akito nods, laying down on your lap; you play with his hair absentmindedly, listening to him mumble about his week. the weight on your chest is lifted just by the sight of him opening up to you again, and you feel much better.

“hey, aki, promise me something.”

“hm?”

“don't ghost me again, or i’ll kick your ass.”

[my-soupy-brain]

I’m so new to requesting but I love your fics so much and got into them more recently. Could I possibly ask for some comforting Ted after having trouble sleeping at night? I go through this all the time and feel so bad about myself that I keep experiencing it.

I feel like that sweet mustached cuddle bear of a man would be there to wrap his arms around me and be someone to cuddle with telling me everything is going to be okay. I always feel like he has such a way with words that are so soothing and comforting 🥺

Hi, I'm the problem, it's me. I'm also a terrible sleeper and it's so comforting when someone can help you ease back to dreamland. He would be such a comfort, so giving with his love and helping you get the rest you need. Let's goooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader

Warning: None, all comfort

---

You were so sick of this.

Tossing and turning. Your brain not shutting off.

You look at the clock.

If I fall asleep right now, I'll get 5 hours.

An hour goes by, more tossing and turning. Reading. Playing a game on your phone. Meditation app.

If I fall asleep right now, I'll get 4 hours.

You whimper as you keep looking at the clock, your mind racing too hard to slow down and rest. Somehow your physical exhaustion losing a battle to mental restlessness.

"Baby," you hear a low, husky, sleepy voice say behind your back, and a large, warm hand and arm draped over your tummy, sliding you backward against a broad chest.

"It's OK, honey'," he murmurs in your ear, soft kisses from soft lips along your ear, your neck.

"Can't sleep?" he asks, knowing the answer all too well.

You nod and whimper again. "Yeah..."

His hand caresses your arm, your shoulder, and your waist and hips, before tucking under your own arm and holding you close to his body at the chest. You can practically feel his heartbeat through your back.

Teddy is your own weighted blanket in moments like this. Wrapping you up in a coil of love, his long, muscular legs tangled with yours, his feet trying to warm up yours that poked through the blanket as you tossed and turned.

"It's OK if you can't sleep," Ted whispers gently. "Your brain will know when it's time to shut off. Sometimes it just has to work out the kinks. Just happens to be at a bad time," he continues...

You nod along, steadying your breathing with his.

"And if this keeps up sugar, we can find some ways to help you wind down every night a little better, make some sleep habits. I could use 'em too, I'm sure," he admits, and you understand -- his anxiety gets the better of him, too.

"I know I'm tired, I just can't seem to let myself drift off," you explain, and Ted kisses you ever-so-gently on your ear again.

"I know, baby..."

"I feel so foolish, being unable to sleep. It's such a bad cycle! I feel lousy and tired, I can't sleep, so I feel more lousy and tired," you continue.

"But it's just your tired noodle doing that," he answers quietly, squeezing you tighter. "When you're real tired, it makes your brain play tricks. It makes you feel bad."

You nod again, understanding.

"We'll get you some sleep, I promise, darlin'," Ted assures, tucking the blanket over both of you. "I love you, honey. I love you so much..."

Ted's soft voice against your ear, his breath fanning across your neck and cheek, seems to be the medicine you needed as you feel your eyes droop.

When Ted hears your breathing regulate, and your body calm, he smiles and joins you in dreams.

---

I hope this was helpful, my friend! I understand the plight of bad sleep. My brain never shuts off when I need it. I feel like Ted's wisdom and body weight would shush us both off to dreamland real easily. Thanks for the prompt - and sweet dreams, I hope!

[sarcasmismydefaultmode]

My MCM London Experience

So my Comic-Con experience certainly had its ups and downs...somehow, I always seem to end up catching a bug like COVID a few weeks before an event I've been looking forward to for months, and then I'm left with a chronic cough and feeling like death even once I stop testing positive. I had so many plans to meet up with friends and catch up over drinks, and I ended up going to bed in my hotel room by 6pm...

But........

There were certainly some highs. Meeting and chatting with @wifeofsyril & @karnpuffs in the queue for the photo ops with Denise on Saturday, talking all things Star Wars, Andor, and Dedra (which frankly I don't get to do enough of, it's criminal)...

Meeting up and getting to play with my old saber training group, Silver Sabres, and spend half the day surrounded by fellow saber nerds...

The utter chaos that was the Witcher 3 panel. It felt a little...strange, like it was vaguely linked to it being ten years since the Witcher 3 came out, but it all felt quite loosely connected to the fact. It was more fun watching Denise slowly lose her mind over having to draw anything 😄 (I felt that, Denise. As a fellow artistically-challenged-person, I felt that. Pictionary is my idea of hell) and the conversations the cast were having about their characters. An interesting snippet from Denise was about her decision to pitch Yennefer a little lower than her natural speaking voice, to project authority and power, and I felt you can hear that in Dedra's voice too.

The lighting wasn't great so this was pretty the only picture I took during the panel which didn't turn weird...

Nearly had a heart attack when they started mentioning fanfiction. Admittedly, it was Witcher fanfiction, not Star Wars or Andor, but now I can't get the image of Denise scrolling the Dedra Meero tag on Ao3 out of my head 🤣🤣. Denise and Doug, the guy she's sat next to who voiced Geralt, and some of the other cast, also spoke about the importance of fandom and the escape it offers as they've been told by fans over the years, which I fully concur with. Fantasy has always been my escape when the world gets a little too much.

And finally, what probably had to be the highlight of the weekend:

I debated about covering my face but I'm posting this on the clock app too since I post cosplay shit over there. You should've seen the way Denise's eyes lit up when I offered her the lightsaber. Don't get me wrong, I love that Andor doesn't rely on the Sith-Jedi-lightsaber stuff at all beyond occasional references to ol' Palpy, but I think it should be written into every Star Wars actor's contract that they get to play with a lightsaber at least once. This is also my Inquisitor Dedra cosplay's debut, got some really great comments walking around MCM, and when I took the photo for Denise to autograph, she basically said she wants a black uniform like mine. Now, to work on my photoshoot skills so next time, you can actually see more than just my cloak, one boot, and one gauntleted arm 🤣😅

[my-inner-crisis]

Sometimes you watch a tik tok that enrages you to the point where you want to rant for an hour. So this is it (probably not an hour-length read mind you but ya know).

Two very popular arguments on the clock app have my blood boiling.

1. Where did Lucien’s ACOTAR personality go in the rest of the series?

Oh, I don’t know, let me see. He began the series in relative peace, only having to deal with Tamlin’s ass, which was honestly his least serious problem. Remember how his brothers and father executed his lover brutally and then tried to kill him? He owes Tamlin his life, so you know. In the very beginning of ACOTAR, first thing that happens to Lucien is that his friend, Andras, is murdered in cold blood and SKINNED. Not only does he die, but he’s skinned. After that it’s just downhill for my boy Lulu from there. He is taken under the mountain, tortured to break Feyre’s spirits, UTM is a particularly triggering place to him since he had his eye carved out of his head like 50 years ago, he was so severely beaten and his face was in such a state, it MADE TAMLIN VOMIT. So, he goes back UTM, his mind is held by Rhys like a toy, he’s whipped by Tamlin under Amarantha’s rule, he’s punished for helping Feyre, yet he still goes to help her again. He’s severely abused physically. Good good. Then he comes out of that situation just to find himself in the worst PTSD hours not only for himself, but for Tamlin AND Feyre. He’s caught in the middle, any push he tries to achieve with Tamlin backfires horribly. The High Lord with the power of brute strength hits him. Feyre is scheming and he is aware of it, he gets dragged between the two of them, he isn’t sure what Feyre is up to and tries to go rescue her. He thinks her mind is warped by Rhys who lied so much to him and everyone, Lucien certainly couldn’t guess he was good actually. Feyre leaves Tamlin and messes up the Spring Court in the process, leaving the High Lord to be a useless depression monster, the direct result of that being that he is sexually assaulted by Ianthe. Tamlin has 2 brain cells so of course Hybern double crosses him, which leads directly to Feyre’s sisters being turned fae. Keep in mind that Lucien had no power over Tamlin at any point, you think he’d let himself get dragged into dumb deals with Hybern? Of course not. But now his mate thinks him culpable in her Making, she loses the one she loves due to this and it’s obviously directed to Lucien too, she never asked for a mate, she was happy to marry Graysen, so now Lulu is here courtless (oh no), homeless (so sad), with a mate (yay) who doesn’t want him (noooo) so maybe, MAYBE he is depressed. He finds friends with some sad little humans who also have sad lives like a queen without a throne and a man whose people have been dead for 500 years and the human lands is nothing like it used to be. Lucien is so far away from happiness or even just like a normal, simple day, it’s funny. And we’re surprised he’s not the snarky little rake he was in ACOTAR? Just READ.

2. Elain clearly doesn’t want Lucien and clearly wants Azriel, this is a crack ship

All I have to say to this is the following:

We don’t know what Elain wants, we don’t know why she does whatever she does, we don’t know her motivations and we don’t know how she feels about Lucien. All we know is that she’s reluctant to speak to him and she opposes the idea of mates. It’s fiction, it can go anywhere. SJM could kill half of the characters on one page. Stop arguing with Eluciens (or anyone else) about their ship’s validity. Let me have my cottagecore fantasy with them and maybe you’ll be right, but I can still ship it, even if it doesn’t become canon. It doesn’t have to be correct to be a ship. I used to ship Sasuke with Gaara because they interacted twice and my 14 year old brain was like yes. Just leave people be, let us enjoy our ships 😌

[demonlikejudgeoffire]

prompt for media of your choice: time prison competition

wails. It's so hard to do time prison in a short sequence Stella why would you awaken brainworms to do a longer piece have mercy on me

—

Akechi wakes up before his alarm. He gropes blindly next to him until his fingers find his phone, then squints in the brightness from its screen until he manages to find the clock app and turn it off. The phone goes back onto his bed, and his room falls back into darkness. He breathes. In, then out. Outside, a siren blares past his apartment. In, then out.

He gets up and begins his day.

School is a blur of faces. He answers the teacher's question when he's called up in the middle of a lesson, answers the teacher's question when he's called on, reads the passage aloud, answers the question when no one else raises their hand. The day passes.

He doesn't have work scheduled today, but he goes in anyway. Nijima Sae greets him: "Akechi, right on time as always."

He does paperwork. His crimes leave no witnesses, but they still have to pretend that the deceased's family can provide clues.

He considers going to Leblanc but dismisses the thought. He has an interview scheduled for the next morning, and it's more convenient if the stylists never see his dark circles. He goes back to his apartment, instead. Showers. The lights from the road peek through his curtains, but he falls asleep eventually—

Akechi, isn't it about time you wake up?

—and wakes up before his alarm. He reaches out, but it's not on his desk where he'd left it plugged in to charge overnight. He must have knocked it off and onto his bed at some point. He picks it up just as a siren blares past.

His interview is scheduled for nine, which means he needs to get to the studio by seven. Still, there's nothing in his messages about it. He sends a text to his "manager" saying that he's running a bit late and hurries to get dressed. The reply comes just as he's straightening his tie.

Manager A: Your interview is tomorrow. Did you mix up the dates?

He stops in his tracks. With a schedule as busy as his, time management is essential. He's always careful to stay on top of his obligations. There's no way he would make a mistake about the date of an interview.

And yet, when he opens up his calendar, the interview is indeed scheduled for tomorrow. And, even more glaringly, the current day is the same as it was when we went to bed yesterday.

"What the fuck," Akechi says. Google and every single news outlet confirm that he's losing his mind when he scrolls past three "Breaking News" articles that he'd read on the way to school yesterday. The message from his manager is still waiting so he quickly shoots back a, "That must be it! My apologies for the mistake." and then goes back into his room and proceeds to freak out.

Several minutes later, he straightens up. It's not so ludicrous, really. Time travel is hardly out of the realm of possibility when he can travel to another world where he can use magic and fight monsters. This is fine. It's unlikely that whatever triggered this will happen again. He just needs to repeat one day and pretend that nothing has happened—hardly an ordeal for someone like him.

Akechi goes to school. He answers the teacher's question when he's called up in the middle of a lesson, answers the teacher's question when he's called on, reads the passage aloud, answers the question when no one else raises their hand, and pretends that he's not sick of everyone around him. He doesn't have work scheduled for today, and the paperwork he'd done yesterday was hardly essential, so he decides not to head in. The train to Yongen-Jaya is rattling away when he gets a text from Sae.

Nijima Sae: Where are you?

Akechi texts back, Is something wrong, Sae-san?

Nijima Sae: You normally come in on Thursdays.

Akechi stares down at his phone, confused, and sends back, Yes, but I came in yesterday. We agreed that I could work on alternate weekdays this semester.

The train pulls in at Yongen-Jaya station and he starts up the steps to the street level. When he emerges in the sunlight, his phone buzzes again.

Nijima Sae: Akechi, what are you talking about? You didn't work yesterday.

So.

This might be a bigger problem than he'd realised.

[britishcupoftea]

Summer in the lighthouse part 2

y’all I fished the second part out from my notes app 🤡 let’s make a fool of myself again. I wanted to also say yea no I realise I didn’t write part 3 and idk how long this part is so 😤 you get what your given. Try not to die of cringe please 🙏🙏🙏

Chapter 2- simple things

I woke about 9am, properly this time, as in I couldn’t go back to sleep. The sun shine through my thin curtains and illuminated my room, all of a sudden the shock a sheer sunlight had put things into perspective. So far, I had caught feelings for a girl… maybe, actually thought about reading a book, landed extremely awkwardly on top of the girl, shared a bed with a girl and barely got any sleep. Wow this was gonna be one crazy summer if it carries on like this. That morning I was drunk with exhaustion, the night had really taken a toll on my head. At about 10:30, i wobbly walked down the stairs  for breakfast. I shoved a couple slices of bread into the toaster and slumped into a chair at the table: when I sat down I noticed a sticky note stuck to the patterned table cloth. ‘Gone out for fishing back at 4 the girls are at home -Maddie xx’

Thank god, I was too tired to do anything today. After a few minutes my toast popped and I rummaged through the cupboards till I found some butter. I am one of those strange people that oddly like 1 spread, jam or peanut butter, marmite, Nutella it just doesn’t do it for me. I like plain and simple things… ha if only Leah was plain and simple. There I go again, linking everyone to Leah like an utter idiot, what was wrong with me. The toast gave me the strength to make the huge climb back up the stairs. From there I changed into new clothes, a pair of sweatpants and a lose black shirt. Then I noticed the book that sat in the centre of my desk ‘the man who hunted gods’, uhh was this meant  to be here? Had Leah left it from me? Curiosity lead my hands forwards and I took the book, it black cover was smooth against my palms, not creased or crinkled. Sitting back down onto my bed and leading against the wall, I opened the book and flicked froward to the first page… ‘3 weeks, 3 weeks, was that enough time to prepare? What if I lost him forever? What if I couldn’t make it? No my brother would fight till the very end. I remember him as clear as daylight…’ I read my eyes darting from word to word. I must have lost my self in that book for a damn long time because when I looked up to my desktop alarm clock, it said 2:34. Wow that passed fast, I was about 2 chapters from the end of the book and I was nearly screaming with frustration and excitement. I had never know a book could be so good, I’m sort of glad I gave into my stupid emotions or I wouldn’t have read this. Reading, that’s something I must add to my list of things I enjoy. Mostly I enjoyed the simple things like just sitting there or eating but now I could add reading to my small list of things I enjoyed. Searching through my mind, I found my mental list of things I enjoyed and added reading onto the bottom. Just above reading was cricket , I remember adding it last summer when I was sent off to a cricket camp and I found that I actually quite liked the sport. I had even made some friends there, Archie and Jacob were my favourite of the bunch. It was still an hour and 20 minutes till Janes and Maddie were meant  to be back at the house, and apparently Leah and Darcy were supposed to be home so I went to check on them.

First I checked on Darcy, I still have no idea why, perhaps because she was younger and less responsible so she might well have died in the night or something, when I came down the stairs into her room, she had looked up from the floor where she was braiding her long brown hair. “Hey George, ur finally up, want to help me with something?” Uhh help with what I wondered… “uh I’ll help but it depends on what I’m helping with” I said casually. Walking a couple steps into her room, it was quite like Leah’s but inside of many bookshelves, the walls were lined with posters and trash and clothes were plied in most corners. “Braiding my hair obviously, come and sit down.” Darcy beaconed  me over to where she sat on the floor and trying to to seem impolite, I came and kneeled behind her. I can’t remember where I learnt to plate hair from but it was hell of a lot useful right now; i picked her hair up that was laying on her shoulders and split it into three clumps. “You do know how to braid hair right? Or you’re gonna make my hair look like a mess.” Darcy said, trying to keep her head still as she talked. “Yea I do, and I don’t think it’s gonna look too bad.” I responded back as I exaggerated on the bad part. Darcy huffed and sat still as I began to braid her hair. About half way down, pulled forward and looked up at me, almost tugging the hair from my hands. “Your quite cute you know.” She said it in a matter of fact way that made me a bit uncomfortable.

I didn’t know what to say.. I’m sure nothing bad would happen because it’s not like I had to stay here for 3 months over summer break or anything. “umm thanks I guess but stop staring at me or it will ruin the plate.” Then she straightened up and let me carry on plating her hair in peace, once I had finished I held out my hand for a hair band and she popped on into my hand that had a note attached to it. It read ‘your very cute ;) can’t believe your staying for 3 months’. I furrowed my eyebrows together and ripped the note off and crinkled it up. Then before I tied the end of the braid, I threw the paper towards the bin and funnily enough it landed right in. “Good at throwing things too” muttered Darcy. I was quite annoyed at this point and i tugged her hair back and tied the ends. “There done” I was grumpy and didn’t care to hide it, she was 13 for gods sake.

By the time I was done with Darcy, it was 3 and I made my way back up the stairs and into Leah’s room. I looked round for her, and saw her standing next to the cupboard, a pair of denim shorts in her hands… uh oh… she had the shorts in her hands.. no on her… “GEORGE!” She shouted, and turned away from me tugging her shorts on and pulling her shirt out from where it had tucked into the shorts. I span away from her and looked straight at the wall, a pink flush filling my checks. Oh my god.. I am so dumb! STUPID! I almost wanted to shout it. From behind me I heard the cupboard slam shut, at least I was only looking at her face and hands and well basically all her top half. “Sorry, sorry I’m so sorry” I mumbled, still facing the wall. “Could have knocked! And you can turn around now for your information” said Leah a bit angrily. I slowly turned around, relief washing over my blush, she was wearing a oversized white button down shirt and a shirt pair of denim shorts. Her hair tied back into a messy bun, the good kind of bun, not the hungry hobo person, the cute curious girl. Wow she was gorgeous. Damn it George, snap out of it.

“I came to check on you..” I muttered, fumbling over my words in my flusteredness. (I don’t care what y’all think that’s a word now) Leah gave me a disapproving glare that I almost shrank back from, and I was almost tempted to throw one back at her. “I don’t need you to check on me”. I narrowed my eyes at her as she said it, as if I was inspecting her for some unseen injuring that I knew she was hiding. My concern was greeted with a roll of her eyes and a vague gesture. Lead said, “Well I haven’t died yet unfortunately.” The words laced in sarcasm. I was so ready to go home. “I finished your book”

EW WHAT IS THIS UNFATHOMABLE CRINGE! That is enough. Also this is all I wrote up too 😭 I’ll write some more if y’all want to curl up and die from cringe again. Sorry if I killed you💀🙏 goodbye

[lothedon]

Hiatus Thoughts Part 1

1. Go see a doctor. Preferably a black female doctor but go see a doctor. I recommend Dr. Sabrina Williams.

2. I’m finally getting help with my ADD. 🥂 Here’s to better focus.

3. “Anniversary Reaction” is a real thing. Mentally you may think you’re past it but your body has its own memory.

4. At this big old age, I still hate needles. POKE-ahontas got my blood work done as SOON as I sat down. Barely a connection or nothing, Jeezus. She was smooth with it too. Quick & no pain. Great work POKE-ianna. Just sweet talk me a little before you put it in, aight!? 🤝

5. Ear worm: Thotianna Cardi B & YG remix

6. I LOVE BEING AN AUNTIE!!!!!

7. I want Indy to stop going viral for the WRONG reasons. WE make the wrong shit go viral.

8. The Last of Us is FINALLY a movie! 🙌🏽

9. I want to lose 14 pounds before Pardi Gras Ball.

10. My favorites songs from Drake’s “Honestly Never mind” are ‘Jimmy Crooks’ & ‘Calling My Name’. There were other good ones but those are my “go-tos”.

11. Sweet Nothing - Calvin Harris (Diplo + Grand Theft Auto Remix)

12. I need workout gloves.

13. Back work outs are my favorite! I want a sexy back 😜

14. Making sure my nieces & great nieces hear Destiny’s Child’s “Writing On The Wall” is imperative. My nephew needs to hear it cause he’s a natural musician.

15. I need to attend some theater plays.

16. Venus in Pisces requires us to spend more time recognizing our emotions, enforcing boundaries, & receiving love. 🥰

17. One thing I loved about myself in my early 20’s is that I marched to the beat of my own drum music wise. On a regular, I didn’t listen to what’s popular with those around me. You’re guaranteed to hear something new.

18. My goal is decorate my room & bathroom to be like an expensive hotel & spa.

19. I need a full time job that I love.

20. This book about boundaries is bomb. The beginning of chapter 5 lets me know a conservative white man is writing it though 😒.

21. Focalin got my hunger suppressed like a mug! No more random snacking.

22. 👉🏽Results are always in the work we avoid.

23. Twerking over Squats. I’m working these thighs at all the parties/events I attend. I need to be twerking for at least a good HOUR!

24. 👉🏽Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

25. IM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK ON MY THYROID MEDS!!!

26. This tetanus shot is IRRITATING! 😣

27. I’m contemplating going back short & blonde 😩

28. Ain’t nobody engaged with me or reach out since I deleted the app. Ain’t no point in me having the app anymore. I put too much effort into engaging with folks for them to not want to engage with me. Time to become more exclusive.

29. Eargasm: Broken Clocks - Sza

30. Marc Jacobs need to come out with mini backpacks 😒

31. Progress. My legs are not shaking while skating.

32. Adding skating to my workout regime.

33. Feminine & Flirty.

34. Playing video games until 3am is a lot 😫

35. WHY IS MINECRAFT SO BORING???

36. Everybody needs to get back on Tumblr

37. Hopped on FB for a zip, did a quick scroll, & remembered why I need to keep the app deleted. Smh Too Much.

38. I’m about to just get a regular degular job somewhere. I’m tired of the emotional roller coaster with these jobs.

39. Sit ups/Crunches in variations REALLY makes a difference in one week with your normal work out. 🤯

40. I’m not even vegan but Tabitha is about to get all my coins.

41. I really miss the EDM & Hip Hop days.

42. I can’t date a man that doesn’t prioritize his sleep. You don’t care about your health at all.

43. Before I get back active on FB I need to unfollow a BUNCH of folks for various reason. The only way I’ll be happy online is if I see stuff that makes me happy.

44. 👉🏽Anger lets us know our boundaries have been violated.

45. The Lat Pulldowns gonna slim this waist. 😜

46. I want y’all to stop walking up on peoples cars unless you asking for help because it’s an emergency.

47. Stop paying non-existent debts with folks & do what’s best for you!

48. So y’all going to Target in robes and house shoes????

49. 👉🏽 Sometimes the answer is in the process. - Megan Brooks

50. 👉🏽 Proof of desire is in the pursuit. - Megan Brooks

51. I know Vasa is all the rave but what I do love about Planet fitness is that when I go, it ain’t packed.

52. NOT EMILY IN PARIS CALLED INDIANAPOLIS BORING????😫😂

53. Emily In Paris makes me want to move to another city SO BAD! Or at least travel & stay for a week 😭

54. Got my STD/STI/HIV test results back & they were all negative/non-reactive. 🎉🙌🏽🤩

55. Emily in Paris IS the “Sex In The City” -ish show I needed.

56. If I can get my vitamin D levels elevated in normal range I can lose weight, get rid of my asthma, calm my allergies, & have better focus. 🙌🏽🤩

57. I’m really gonna lose this weight & get the breast reduction. I want to go down to a C cup.

58. Before I die, I have to see Paris, France.

59. Who is this fine caramel man in Emily In Paris???😍

60. 2023 = Overdressed, Mix Match Print, Polished, Out The Box, Head Turning, Main Character, Neutrals & Pop Of Color/Colorful

61. For every sandal/heel purchase I must buy a tennis shoe. Build your sneaker collection.

62. Black, Brown, Purple, Cobalt Blue, Green, Orange, Dusty Pink, White, Navy, Yellow, Red (order in that order). For every black version order the color version. For every color version order black.

63. The Husband & Wife of Mielle Organics are still the CEO & COO of the company. They have NOT stepped away from the brand.

64. Can someone bring Fabulous back to Indy? He’s my favorite toxic.

65. This year I’m twerking to Back That Thang Up Juve every time I hear it.

66. Emily In Paris gives me “Sex In The City” + “Devil Wears Prada”.

67. I’ll never forget how “Go DJ” by Cash Money Records had y’all in a chokehold in middle school.

68. If Erykah Badu had “punk” or “goth” baby it would be Rico Nasty.

69. I wonder if the offspring of Vietnam veterans that were effect by Agent Orange are the ones who also have ADHD & Autism as well. (Of course not all people with ADHD & Autism)

70. Done is good. Good is extra. Completion over Perfection! For people with ADHD it’s better to half ass it & get it done versus never starting due to procrastination/fear of not doing it perfect!

71. If you want to see some black father & son content, watch 2Chainz & his some on YouTube as well as another black father & son duo called Daddy Seed. I’m here for the black father & son content.

72. I also love the black man luxury self care content too.

73. I’m learning to not be afraid to ask the “stupid” questions. And to ask people to be patient with me.

74. Yagi World is giving me Baby Phat track suit popularity trend in the early 2000s.

75. Not being apart of anything going on with the NBA ALL STAR 2024 makes me feel like I’m not enough or haven’t done enough. Personally, I’ve been feeling both simultaneously for years & I think I’ve had enough. Im ready to let it all go & pivot to the nothing related to marketing, PR, communications, ……nothing. Im 31 going on 32. I’ve been working in this since I was in college around the age of 21. Altogether 10 years. I have nothing to show for & no more doors are opening. It’s just not in me or for me anymore. I quit.

76. I hope to be out of town All Star Weekend. I don’t even want to be in the city. Hell I hope to have moved out the city.

77. I think I’ve been fighting depression and it’s caught me.

78. Mental Healness on Tik Tok is a great guy. It’s refreshing to see a black male open up about his mental illness to help others. He is a diagnosed narcissist & has so many men & women in his comments who has narcissism that are getting help because of him.

79. Values over goals. Ex:. Instead of “I will work out 3-5x a week.” You will say “I value movement. I value being pain free in basic tasks such as walking. I value energy. I value an able body.”

80. I want to go on a cruise for NYE 2024.

81. Prostate cancer is on the rise due to low testing. Fellas start getting tested as early as 40.

82. Beyoncé - “Church Girl” should be played more often.

83. It takes one day to get married but a lifetime to stay married.

84. I got all y’all looking at my story to see this light chick with the big butt. With the amount of attention y’all ran to my story with, I don’t want to hear y’all say anything about chicks who get BBLS, wear make up, &/or brighten their skin. YALL LIKE THAT VISUAL! 🤷🏽‍♀️

85. I’m unfriending a lot of men when I get back on Facebook. If we not family, genuine friends, you’re not inspiring me, we not hunching, or making money together….then I don’t see the point of remaining Facebook friends.

86. I may be single but I ain’t out here physically fighting a significant other. 🙌🏽

87. Everyone should watch “Bao” & “Red panda” 🥹

88. I LOVE BEING AN AUNTIE!🥰

89. Stop having relationship conversations with people you’d never consider dating or that are not on the same wave length as you. You’re wasting your energy.

90. I feel some type of way about the “hot Cheetos girl” trend in Tik Tok.

91. RIP Grandma Holla 🙏🏾

92. Teaching kids to set boundaries, how to respect other people’s boundaries, & supporting them while they are practicing is important. It is also important for them to watch YOU set boundaries, respect other people’s boundaries, & see you receive support from your tribe.

93. “It’s clear that I’m not feeling you & you not feeling me. On the G, what comes after A? Just let that let that Nigga B.” - Freaky T

94. Sunday is not a rest day from the gym or from moving the body.

95. Go watch “Shadow In The Cloud” on Hulu.

96. I got new bras! 🎉

97. If they make you anxious when they’re around then they don’t need to be around. Id have to say that is one time I realize my anxiety was actually the way my body is telling me something is wrong.

98. 🔑 “Sometimes your point is in your silence.” - Megan Brooks

99. “High value but no core values.” 🚫👎🏽

100. “Drake wants a Ayesha Curry but is Drake a Steph Curry!?” - KnoForSure Podcasts

[sarroth]

Spellslingers Corner

I wish I knew how to take videos so I could share here, but I just finished what I felt was an exciting match in the Spellslingers app, that is until the player soft-quit on me.

I was playing Kaya, as I was trying to unlock game ‘challenges’ to Play X Creatures with Sneak and to Play Y Beast Type Creatures, and thought she’d be a good route for that since she comes with a sneak creature and has an ability that could randomly give you another when you deal enough damage to the opponent.

The opponent: Kiora, master of the sea and giant creatures. She’s of course a ramp deck, with a special ability that adds a giant legend to her hand when she reaches 10 mana and again at 15 and 20. I was glad to be playing a white-black deck with access to Path to Exile and 4 other hard removal spells to deal with all the 7/7+ creatures that I could be facing.

And sure enough, there were quite a few. And some 4/4s that I didn’t have the best blockers for either, thanks to the +1/+1 ability of a legendary elf Kiora played too. But slowly but surely I dealt significant damage with sneak creatures (can’t be blocked but then loses the sneak ability), and blocked with them when the sneak ability was spent, or the bonus spirits I was earning from Kaya’s ability, or bonus creatures that my land’s ability was pulling from the graveyard for me to recast, some of which could stun an attacker or two.

Kiora took their turns relatively quickly the whole game, until the turn where it was clear I’d win: they were down to 5 and gad already attacked but only got me to 5 or something; though they had several blockers, only one had reach, and I had two 1/1 fliers and a 2/1 with sneak.

When they played their last card, rather than end their turn, they did nothing. I waited the real long time the game gives a person before it ends the game for them (though to be fair, if you’re actually doing things, sometimes there are so many triggers to resolve the time doesn’t feel like enough and you’re rushing the clock). On my turn, I cast Path to Exile on the reach creature, as I couldn’t remember if I also had a challenge to Play 25 Black or White Cards or Play Z Noncreature Cards, and wanted to make sure I got +1 toward that challenge. Before I can attack, they quit the game. Luckily I didn’t have a challenge to Deal 75 Damage to Opponents or something that I would have liked that 4 damage to go toward.

I don’t mind quitting. Once they realized they couldn’t win, a ‘Good game’ and quitting is fine. But it’s also bad enough that there wasn’t just the absence of any sportsmanship, no matter how untruthful the ‘Good game’ would have really been, but that they deliberately stalled my win by not ending their turn. I keep telling myself when that happens that maybe their delivery just arrived to their door or some other distraction is happening - hell, I’ve started to fall asleep using a late night match before - but it happens so often I know some of these actions must be childish protests, even if maybe there was a legitimate reason this time. Well I’m playing on my break so I’ve got limited time, don’t waste mine just because you’re salty your big creatures lost to a 2/1 and some 1/1s. It happens. We’ve all got bad beats stories.

[finalshaper]

im gonna have this post tagged appropriately (obviously) so filter tags if you need to, it's also not in the main tags for this reason, but I need to be a bit serious here for a second, on my own post. I'm gonna openly talk abt my mental health and some struggles, so if ur sensitive of those things mind the tags. this might not make sense because I'm very emotionally charged rn.

you probably know me as cayde. yeah that's me. I'm 18 going on 19 in may, and I've struggled with severe mental health issues on and off for as long as i can remember. severe anxiety, being a social outcast, etc etc. My home life wasn't also the prettiest. So yeah, I'm fucked up. But aren't we all in our own way? Anyways.

My fucked upness was a result of the school environment I grew up in, where I was mistreated both by teachers and peers alike. I've mostly missed the window for developing some essential social skills, on top of being neurodivergent. and it's still something I'm struggling with to this day.

on top of that and because of all the bullying i incurred i became incredibly suicidal. while the bullying has stopped as I've been out of high school for almost a year now, but the on-and-off waves of intense suicidal thoughts and ideation hasn't faded. primarily because of. well. this is something i had to deal with for the brunt of my life. so you can probably assume why i was still dealing with the aftermath.

it was also the fact i was struggling to come out to my parents, even though it's gonna be 3 years since i came out as of June. even tho i came out my parents are still struggling to adjust, which is understandable, and my mom is actively trying to shelter me from all the bad of being trans.

which, i don't blame her, one of my uncle Michael's (gay) friends (trans woman) was beaten to death on the side of the road and she has a pink triangle over where it happened. even though it was decades ago some things never change. and America is a perfect example.

I went from being suicidal for the bullying i was victim to, to suicidal because of the stuff i was experiencing for and about being trans. and in recent days it's been worse than it's ever been, all the shit that's all over my tiktok page isn't helping. I've been considering detransitioning just for my safety. it's hard, in other words.

now. destiny comes into my life sometime in august because of one of my friends. i start playing it, i get invested. the story gripped me, spoke to me deeply, etc etc. and it started helping me. destiny quickly became my safe space, I've started to get over my social ineptitude, and i find myself turning to it during these times of hardship.

and then there's certain quotes, certain elements. "You are alive, Guardian. Fight like it." Even something as small as Drifer saying, "I'm proud of you," or Shaxx and his "I SAID RELAX!" or that one line from paper fortune in d1 -- "When all is lost, you are still a Guardian, and you are still enough."

I've given myself a one-year time limit to live, because of the active genocide against trans people on top of everything else. I've got 364 days left. and after that, if I'm not too lazy, I'm gone. i just want to be around long enough to see the final shape, I'm holding onto destiny like a lifeline. maybe I'll save myself over this year. maybe not.

but then i see things like the aforementioned quote. and how someone said to me, "We already lost one Cayde. we're not losing another." and that alone is enough to make me reconsider my 364-day time limit. Folding was never an option. And i reconsider.

this game is saving my life. it's silly, it's stupid, it might be cringe, you can make fun of me and compare me to that one south park episode about world of warcraft i was exposed to against my will on the aforementioned clock app. but this game is genuinely stopping me from killing myself (which I'm surprised i didn't earlier but then again I'm so done i just cant be bothered). and that has to amount to something.

this game makes me feel bigger, stronger than my illnesses. stronger than my struggles. a broken sense of hope. and it's teaching me to lean back on others. to let people in. I'm haunted, but i can be strong. i can be better. I'm not thriving, but I'm surviving, and that's what matters.

and i wonder if the ppl behind this game know that this is the effect they're having. a severely mentally ill stunted kid is healing and growing through their game. I'm getting strength. i wont say I'm getting my strength back because i never had that strength to begin with. but I'm learning that strength.

this game is saving me.

[full-potential]

Mastering Time: How Timers Enhance Focus and Intention

Introduction In a world constantly buzzing with distractions, finding focus can sometimes feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. But what if I told you that the secret to enhanced productivity and intention lies in a simple tool we often overlook – the timer. Let me take you through a day in my life, where timers aren't just tools, but gateways to a more mindful and productive existence. The Power of Timers in Daily Life I've discovered that timers are more than just countdowns; they are psychological cues that prepare my mind for a focused burst of activity. For instance, during a recent day spent by the river, I realized how setting a timer helped me balance the serenity of nature with the tasks at hand. Whether it's for work, personal projects, or even leisure activities, a timer helps compartmentalize my day into manageable segments, allowing me to be fully present in each moment. A Day in the Life with Timers My mornings often begin with the gentle chime of a timer, signaling the end of a meditation session by the river – a tranquil start to a busy day. Breakfast is a timed affair too, followed by a dance session with my friend Elif, where we lose ourselves to the rhythm, but not to the clock. Even my digital interactions are timed. While organizing apps or browsing through videos, I keep a vigilant eye on the ticking clock, ensuring that I don't spiral down the rabbit hole of endless scrolling. It's a delicate balance between embracing the digital world and not letting it overwhelm my senses. Integrating Timers with Daily Tasks The beauty of timers extends to more introspective activities as well. Whether it's a reflective session with Elif, a jamming night with friends, or a microdose of mindfulness, setting a timer allows me to fully immerse in the experience without losing track of time. I've also started using timers for my writing sessions, like this very blog post. It's a practice of disciplined freedom – where I allow my thoughts to flow unbridled, yet within the confines of a set duration. This approach has not only boosted my creativity but also my efficiency. The Impact on Productivity and Mindfulness Since incorporating timers into my daily routine, I've noticed a significant uptick in my productivity. Tasks that once seemed daunting are now approached with a calm, focused mindset. But more importantly, timers have taught me the value of being present. Whether it's working on a project or enjoying a quiet moment, I've learned to give my undivided attention to the now. Conclusion Timers, in their unassuming way, have transformed how I interact with time. They remind me that every second is precious and that with the right approach, we can make the most of the time we have. So, I invite you to explore this simple yet powerful tool and discover how it can change your perception of time and productivity. Please note: while these ideas inputted were mine, this article was written with the help of AI for increased efficiency and optimization and value for you the dear reader! Read the full article

[theabsolutelytru]

Lil mini rant, don't mind me.

But Gen-Z is trying way too hard to hate Millennials at this point. Particularly the teenagers. Not really the 20-somethings, but the teens. I was on the clock app, and this kid made a video making fun of Stranger Things cosplayers. She then said something like "they're grown adults"

... like most cosplayers?

Then more kids were like "It's weird that they're adults and like a kids show". But Stranger Things isn't a kids show. It's rated TV-MA, and most of them couldn't watch it when it first came out because it would have been too scary for a 9 year old or whatever. It's a show aimed at adults. Really, it's a show aimed at Gen-X, because it represents their childhood/teen years. My aunt, who was graduating high school in the late 80s. It's aimed at them. Just because a show or movie has kids in it doesn't mean it's for kids

Case in point, It. That movie (or the old miniseries) is NOT for kids. It's FOR adults. Adults used to be kids, they remember being kids, seeing their childhood on screen is still appealing. That doesn't mean kids can't watch it, but Stranger Things isn't relatable to someone who didn't grow up in the 80s. It's also a horror/sci-fi series, and not one aimed at a younger age group (like Scream Queens or even something like Goosebumps).

That said, adults CAN like actual children's television. Who do you think is making it? You have to like cartoons to work on cartoons. You have to like family sitcoms to write one. (There are definitely adults who don't like it working on it, and you can tell... but you don't get Avatar The Last Airbender or Adventure Time from adults who don't love what they're doing.) It's fine to like children's TV and movies. They're usually more gentle. They're usually more imaginative. They often have better stories (adult stuff can get very boom boom, boobs, fight fight. Or very cry cry, sad sad, serious.)

Adults have liked things and participated in fandoms forever. When I was a child, adults were doing that. My dad was a Boomer, and my first memories are of him being a Trekkie and stuff. I don't know how Gen-Z decided that we were weird for being in fandoms. They're trying to bring back the shame that we spent years dismantling. Nerd behavior isn't bad or childish.

For that matter, the whole Disney adult thing is a weird criticism. Disney has been American pop culture for the better part of a century. 30 year olds liked Mickey Mouse in the 1970s. I knew a woman who would collect Disney merch and Christmas ornaments when I was a child, she was also a Boomer.

The Harry Potter thing, too. It's not a Millennial thing. Millennials are just the first generation to have Harry Potter. Naturally most people who like it are the people who grew up with it. They didn't know Joanne was a bigot, back when they were 7, guys. Also, not every Millennial likes Harry Potter, because it's a specific fandom. Why we all gotta be painted with the Potter brush. It's real, too. Like, a teen I met at work was trying to relate to me by asking me my Hogwarts house. I was like... yeah, I'm not really into HP, but to play along I told her one. Also, my nephew gave me a Friends mug for Christmas. It's like they're convinced of the Millennial hive mind. I am not a white girl, I am not obsessed with Friends and I've never watched it.

I have said many times before, generation stuff isn't accurate. People are just people. But also, like... adults are just you with freedom. You don't become a new human being when you hit 18 or 21 or whatever milestone. Things do change, you do mature, but if you enjoy comics, you still will, most likely. If you like sci-fi, you still will. You might even find new fandoms/interests. That should be inspiring, not ridiculous. You should be happy that you get to become an adult and not lose your spark. You don't have to become a sentient business suit or a sitcom mom or whatever you're imagining. You can stan BTS. You can cosplay as She-Hulk. You can buy passes to cons. You can collect things. You can enjoy yourself and with more freedom to do so.

Stop pretending something is wrong with Millennials. Enjoy YOURSELF, too. And when you turn 21, please don't stop.

[andysbubba]

beginning, middle and end

-> the one where heating chicken soup takes 20 minutes… for chris

ultimate fluff because i miss chris ://

here’s a quick fluff fic because i also really wanted to get something out

-h

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

—

“Mr Evans. Has anyone ever told you that you have such a beautiful ass?” You point out because well— he does have an amazing ass and it’s your job to remind him of it every damn day.

Chris sighs, half turning to look at you before he shakes his head almost in disbelief. “Sweetheart, I’m losing count on how many times you’ve said that this morning.”

You simply grin as you sneaked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his torso, cheek pressed against his bare back. “Just doing my job to make your pretty ass feel appreciated, honey.”

“Your job—” He turns slowly in your embrace and firmly placed his palms on your shoulders before pushing you back to the dining table. “—is to stay here, wait, and look sexy while I try not to burn that damn chicken soup, okay?” He pointedly eyes you while pushing you down to sit.

“Christopher, you can’t burn soup.” You groan shrugging his hands off so you can stand, only to get pushed back down. “Chris, I’m seriously fine. I don’t feel sick. I don’t even feel like eating,”

“Hey.” He softly flicks your forehead making you whine and rub the spot while he just laughs at you. “C’mon, whatever I say goes, okay? Just let me take care of you. Plus— the last time you ate was yesterday afternoon, and your temperature’s still pretty high, honey.”

You frown, deciding to just settle down and make the poor man’s life easier. “Can I at least have apple juice, please?”

Knowing Chris, he’d probably take half an hour just to heat up the soup. And really- he only has to put it in a pot and bring it to a boil. God knows how your husband never fails to mess that up.

With a sigh, Chris steps to the fridge for the bottle of your apple juice. “Y’know, sometimes I wonder if I’m actually married to a kid…” He passes the bottle over to you.

“Sometimes I wonder why I married a guy who can’t cook.” You retort, snatching the bottle and sipping away on the straw.

Chris placed a hand on your shoulder, leaning down and leaving a kiss on the top of your head. “20 minutes tops. Promise.”

“That’s what you always say, Evans.”

Chris snorts, deciding to just ignore what you said. He goes into the kitchen and befor ehe actually startes ‘cooking’ he turns around and makes sure that you aren’t plotting anything. His lips curl when he sees that you’re just staring down at your crossword book with the butt of the pencil resting on your lips. Chris discreetly takes out his phone and snaps a picture of well— you.

Completely unaware of your husband antics and armed with your crossword book and apple juice you somehow decided to mute Chris and his clumsy ass out.

_

"Baby-"

Chris stops in his words as he catches you dozing off. He chuckles softly, watching your shoulders move the slightest bit as you breathe, the side of your face pressed against the crossword book and your fingers wrapped around the bottle of apple juice.

He glances at the clock. Well at least for once, he did stick to the 20 minute limit to get the soup heated. It’s a shame you’re busy drooling off to witness his new achievement.

Chris softly sets the bowl on the table, lips curling into a smile completely filled with adoration as he looks at you. He pulls his phone out, tapping on camera app and quickly snapping a picture of you sleeping. He slips the phone back just as quick as he got it out. Chris gently pries your fingers away from the bottle, trying his best not to wake you up. Though that was the easy part. He has no idea how to carry you from that damn position without being too much of a nuisance to your slumber.

He slides an arm right on the underside of your knees, the other tucking just around your shoulders. He carries you up as gently as he could, holding you close to his chest as he silently walks to the bedroom.

You stirred in your sleep, almost scaring Chris. But you just wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him closer and pressing your face into his chest.

He just lets out a breathy laugh, loving how you paid no mind and somehow just went back to sleep. Chris sets you on the bed, pulling the covers over you like he usually does.

Just as he makes sure you’re comfy and turns to leave, you absentmindedly cling on to his arm. “Stay wimme,”

Chris lets out a louder laugh this time. “You’ve been awake this whole time?”

“Maybe if you bothered to mute your phone and not wake me up with the shutter,” You retort, eyes opened just a tad bit. You tug on his hand. “C’mon just stay till I go back to sleep.”

Chris obliges and climbs in right beside you. His arm stretched out as he pulls you right into his chest. “You still gotta eat when you wake up, honey,” His fingers run through your hair, gently scratching your scalp.

You hum in reply, nose nuzzling into his bare chest as your eyes starts to close. “Congratulations on heating it in under 20 minutes, by the way,”

You feel his chest rumble with laughter before Chris leans down and presses a kiss on the top of your head. “G’night, sweetheart.”

It took a while before your breathing slowed down. Chris shifted slowly to pull his phone out, this time remembering to mute his phone before he taps on the camera app again. He flips to the front camera and angles it so both of you are in frame. He taps on the shutter once, getting the selfie he wants. It doesn’t even matter that the picture was pretty blurry. Everyone will just blame it on his phone being an iPhone 6s instead of blaming his shaky hands.

Chris goes on Instagram, the whole process even more delayed with how he’s just using one hand to tap on the screen.

-

[picture 1] [picture 2] [picture 3]

chrisevans Beginning, middle and end of dragging out the simple action of heating chicken soup.

tagged: y/nevans

--

As always! Reblogs and feedbacks are very much appreciated, my loves! <3

[bitchassbucky]

.exe

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning/s: stalkers, bucky being a creepo, reader being a creepo. dark!IT!bucky x dark!reader :-) female & male masturbation, voyeurism (i think), cyber crimes being committed.

A/N: this is my birthday gift to @babyboibucky <3 to my boo, I love you and you have a special place in my heart. this is gonna be a multi-part thing, it's too long to be considered as a one-shot, oops.

please enjoy! :D

follow the CTRL series:

i - .exe

ii - .avi

iii - .raw

iv - .png

v - .zip

CTRL playlist

CTRL moodboard

4:49 PM

Just 11 more minutes until he can pack his bags up for the weekend.

One new ticket - URGENT

Goddamn it.

Bucky pulled his earphones out in annoyance, just another office idiot who doesn’t know how to print A4 sheets. If the office were to be held hostage and printing out was the only thing that can save them, half of the floor would be dead.

The new name caught his eye, Y/N Y/L. A new hire, it seems like.

Subject: One new ticket - URGENT

Hi, this is Y/N, employee number 0008675309. I’m new here and was told to send a ticket for the equipment request.

Thank you and have a great weekend!

Oh, Bucky’s gonna have a great weekend indeed. Out of pure curiosity, he’s already pulled up your employee file. A cute smile to a cute name. His annoyance dispersing already, just by thinking of ways how he can spend time with you.

Hey, Y/N! Bucky types into the text field, Welcome to the company. I’m Bucky and I got assigned to help you get settled. Do you prefer having a desktop or a laptop? I’ve attached a form in this thread, send it to me once you’re done.

Have an awesome weekend too!

As much as he hates sending out chirpy emails, he can’t help but to smile when you immediately send a reply back.

Thanks, Bucky! So sorry for sending in the request super late. Got caught up with the onboarding. Is it okay if I use my laptop until we can get a unit to my place? PC or laptop is fine with me.

Best,

Y/N

Bucky fights off another smile, rubbing his hand over his stubbled cheek as he carefully types out a reply. Unlike other days, he doesn’t mind staying beyond 5 PM today. It’s not like he has other plans for his Friday night.

No worries, Y/N. He’s already loving your name. Happy to help!

Do you have your laptop with you? I can set it up before you go home for the weekend. I can probably send in the ticket to the guys so you can have your work equipment next week.

His deft fingers are dancing over his mechanical keyboard, clacking away while the clock ticks closer to the weekend.

A ping, another reply from you. You’re new, you’re still excited to make friends in the office. If you only knew how stupid they are, though.

Yeah! I have it on me right now. I actually work on the same floor, I can drop it off there right now.

Bucky glances around his office, looking for any reflective surface he can check himself on. He runs his hand through his hair, taming any stubborn locks that fell out of his low bun. His shirt hangs just right against his huge frame, his pants hugging his figure, accentuating his silhouette even more.

Just as the clock ticks 5:00, a soft knock raps against his door, “come in!”

You are cuter, prettier in person. Your perfume hits his nose and he’s floored—metaphorically.

“Mr. Barnes,” you say, your demeanor somewhat meek and shy. Well, of course, you are. Your frame is nothing against the hunk of the man who just stood up to greet you.

“Bucky.” He prompts, smiling. You reciprocated the smile, but you really weren’t sure what to expect. Maybe a scrawny little dude mousing away on a keyboard?

“Bucky, thank you so much for doing this. I know you’d rather get off of work since it’s Friday and all.”

He hums, taking your laptop in his hands. You notice the rings adorning his fingers—complementing his tanned skin tone and—it’s not appropriate to stare at a stranger’s hand.

Heat creeps up your face as he turns to look at the stickers stuck to your laptop, “you know, I like this band.” Bucky says, pointing to an old sticker, he carefully sets down your laptop on his workstation.

“They’re great,” you muse, taking a seat on a plastic chair by the door.

You take a gander around his small office. There was nothing out of the ordinary but the big black server blinking at the back, so why do you feel trapped?

“Sorry about the temp, we have to keep the room cold for the server in the back,” Bucky explains, noticing how your arms are crossed over your chest. The skirt you’re wearing isn’t doing you any better too.

You stammer out an it’s okay with a small smile.

Bucky worked on your computer quietly, using a USB stick to load all the applications you need to set up a temporary work account on your laptop. After a few minutes, he beckoned you to come here. You scoot over to his desk, rolling the chair forward and beside him. Not too close though.

“So, this note has all your generated passwords. Type those into the app when you first log in, then you can change it if you want to.” Bucky explains, the cursor idles on the screen. He tries not to get too close to you, to give you personal space. It’s a professional workplace after all.

“This app,” he drags a window, pulling up an application, “tracks your hours and your keystrokes. It’s company-mandated because managers want to micro-manage their people, I guess.” Bucky shrugs, his disdain showing through his voice. His tone shifting lower than what you’d expected.

“Sorry, I just hate their new protocol,” his face and voice softening as he looks at you, “it’s a total privacy breach if you ask me.”

You’d normally disagree but something tells you that maybe he’s got a point. Your breath hitched in your throat as he leans closer as if to whisper something, “this note right here? It’s a nifty thing, a little script so your computer doesn’t go to sleep when you’re away. It enables and disables your numlock pad so it counts as a keystroke.”

A smirk finds its place on your face, “well, that’s…something, isn’t it?”

Never in your life would you find yourself flirting with a co-worker but there’s something about Bucky that made you excited. Interested. Intrigued.

Bucky nods, rolling his chair away to fetch a pad of sticky notes. “Another thing from your friendly neighborhood IT guy,” he peels off a leaf and sticks it on your laptop’s built-in camera, “keep your cam covered.”

You give him a chuckle and a playful salute, “yes, sir.”

Bucky’s a modern man. He sees a pretty girl and he gets giddy. He talks to a pretty girl and he gets flustered. But you—you make him feel more than giddy and flustered. There was something familiar about you, and your eyes. Has he seen you before? Met you, even? No, that’s impossible—if he had met you before, he’d surely remember you.

It was 5:34 PM when he gave you your laptop back and sent in an urgent request for your equipment. While taking down the elevator to the lobby, Bucky gave you a few tips on how to ‘survive’ working in the office. According to him, as far as you go in on time and kept your head above the rumors, you’d do fine.

He asked about your first week and he told you about this joint near the building that serves the best burgers and fries.

You’ve got a good feeling that you just made your first friend.

—

The sun was already setting down when you pulled into your apartment’s parking lot. At the very last minute, you turned into a drive-through and got some food on the go. The side trip took out 10 minutes of your time but at least you dodged the awful traffic that was building up by the highway.

Along with your laptop bag and your food, you trudge up to your third-floor apartment. It wasn’t what you wanted—the windows faced the street, the screen door doesn’t lock all the way—but it’s the one you got. As long as it’s got four walls and a roof, right?

You slip out of your work clothes and into some comfy jammies after a rewarding shower; the sooner you can get your food heat up, the sooner you can eat, and drink and then go to sleep.

So while waiting for the microwave to beep, you pry open your laptop. You told Bucky not to shut it down after he worked on it as to not lose your work on another profile, which he understood.

The work account he set up greeted you, along with the bright pink sticky note he stuck to your webcam. That wasn’t real, was it? All those cautionary tales of hackers using webcams to peep on you. Maybe he’s just trying to scare you, like some kind of initiation. Without a second thought, you took off the sticky note. It was kinda annoying anyway.

Clicking the Log Out Work button, your personal account popped into the frame. Your opened apps and documents displaying themselves for you to use. You pulled up Spotify and clicked on the first playlist you saw—which happened to be your intimate playlist.

Sure, the Pavlov reaction is real because halfway through the first song, you already found yourself getting all hot and bothered. This one’s your favorite song too.

You groan in annoyance, your food’s no longer a priority.

Picking up the laptop from the table, you walk to your bedroom, not bothering to shut the door. You live alone, it’s fine. You put the laptop on its loudest setting, setting it on your desk and you plopped down on your bed, the pillows and the comforter pooling on one side.

Your room is illuminated by a streak of light from the street. Your curtains flowing softly with the breeze that just came in.

Glancing at your laptop, you remembered Bucky. How his office smelled when you first walked in. How he stood tall when he greeted you. How he smiled. Those goddamn rings of his.

Before you caught yourself thinking rationally, your fingers are already splayed even over your thighs, caressing the soft flesh of your legs.

Bucky’s smirk and his cologne finding purchase in your fogged brain. Thoughts of him pulling you aside into his office to fool around—voices above hushed whispers as your skin erupts in goosebumps, the chilled air of his office finding its way up to your spine.

Oh, fuck it.

You undress fast, flinging your shirt over your head, dropping it somewhere below the bed. The air in your room making your nipples hard and erect as you pinch them. You breathe out a sigh, the heat of the moment creeping up your torso.

The material of your panties dampening as you imagine yourself bent over his desk, your skirt bunched over your hips as he laps your sopping cunt. Bucky’s tongue exploring your folds up and over until your pussy’s a quivering mess of drool and spit.

Your fingers slip past the band of your underwear. Even you surprised yourself by how wet you are.

God, you met him once and he’s already inching his way into your mind.

But who could blame you? You’ve been all over his Facebook profile when you learned his name via the office’s organizational chart. The first time you saw him, walking around the office with a laptop in his hands, you already knew you wanted to at least formally meet him. A scroll on his page, you found a band that you could tolerate listening to. (They’re okay, just not your taste in music.)

A plan came to mind when your department head told the team that you can work from home from time to time—only if you agreed to use a work laptop, a company-owned one. Your manager advised you to put in the request as soon as you can, for you to secure a unit before the on-hand supplies dwindle.

Deliberately sending in the request late—way, way later—than what your manager told you just so you could pull up the ‘new hire’ card and act dumb.

And it looked like he bought it too.

The image of him fucking you quiet while he grabs you from behind played inside your mind like a memory—a vision. Of how his thick cock would fill you up until your pussy is clenching around him. Would he pinch your throbbing clit, making you squirm and cream around him?

Your fingers are compared nothing to his, that’s for sure. But it does the work for now.

A breathy moan comes out of your mouth as you play with your clit, your cunt dripping down wetness as you continue to fondle your tits.

His hands would make a great addition to your chokers.

Your toes curl and your breath quickens, the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening—white-hot heat creeping up your limbs.

Oh, fuck, Bucky!

—

His ears perked up as he heard you moaning his name.

Bucky was busy watching you enjoy yourself when he got caught in the moment and decided to enjoy himself too.

He was barely keeping himself behaved when you first walked into the floor wearing a button-up and slacks that accentuated your backside. Bucky wished he was the one who gave you the tour and know your name for the first time, but that was impossible—he was in the IT department.

So when he got the news that new hires will be given the chance to work from home, he hoped that he gets to be the one to help you set up.

He was losing hope by the time he got your request, he thought that you opt not to work at home but then there you were, sending him an apologetic email on a late Friday afternoon.

Of course, he happily obliged. He even set up himself a little virtual camp in the background of your computer just so he can continue spending time with you.

Just thinking about you is already making him hard again. Bucky already came in hot spurts of white as he watched you desperately undress earlier. What can he say—he was waiting for you to show your tits already. As such, he correctly guessed that you’d be annoyed with the glaringly bright sticky note he used to ‘cover’ your webcam with.

But seeing you fingerfuck yourself all alone just wasn’t enough for him, he has to have you all by yourself.