#collectibles are my kryptonite but i have oh so little money

[zeravmeta]

my one and only critical human weakness is that I am entirely a sucker for blind boxes and trading card packs and if within my ability i would literally purchase thousands of them even if I already have them. this is gods way of compensating for giving me giant brain and peepee

[ithinkilikeit-reactions]

The coffee and the cup (Jeong Yunho/Smut)

Ateez Masterlist                                       Group Masterlist 

A/N: You bet your ass this was inspired by the pottery video. I was also inspired by a lot of ceramics artists I follow on instagram and thought this was fun.

This is a feel good story, no bad things, just good. Just wanted a feel good thing. 

Tags: Potter! Yunho x Café owner reader!, Fem! reader, a lot of pining and sweet glances, coffee, a freshly starting relationship, love confessions, Hongjoong that likes to judge

Smut tags: Very sweet, gentle, soft dom! Yunho, marking, oral (female receiving), Fingering (female receiving), scratching, Praise, teasing, Unprotected sex (wrap it up y’all)

Word count:  8046 (I don’t do short stories) 

There was something utterly comforting about the feeling a café could give you. It was something that you had always enjoyed, from being in middle school, getting cookies and chocolate milk before school, to high school and college where you did all day study sessions, cafe’s had become a safe haven for you. Therefore it was only natural that you had grown up with a dream of starting your own. 

With the little money you had managed to save up and the help from your family, your cafe had become a reality. A reality that you never thought would happen. It was even more surreal as you unpacked your first groceries and placed them in the pantry and refrigerator, looking around your place. Your place.

It was small, with only two, two persons tables indoor and two outdoors, it was more a “grab a drink and go” type of place and it was perfect for you. It was seated in a small street, filled with small locally owned businesses and what better way to introduce yourself, than to bake. 

A classic lemon blueberry muffin was the taste of coming home, the taste you wanted to sell at your store, a taste you wanted to give your fellow shop owners. You wanted people to feel comforted at your place, so you made something comforting with a little twist, so that everybody could see what type of person you were. Baking was your second love to coffee, so you went to work making around 30 muffins. The delicious smell filling your store and placing a smile on your face. Nothing could drag your day down, not that day.

Once the muffins had cooled enough from coming out of the oven, you packaged them carefully and placed them all in a little wicker basket, setting off to say hi to your neighbors. Starting with the little music instrument store right next door. The owner wasn’t what you expected at all, young, well dressed with one painted nail on each hand, going by the name Hongjoong. He greeted you with an amazing smile, wondering how he could help you.

“Welcome! Can I help you find anything?” He asked and you couldn’t help but beam a smile back at him. “No believe me you wouldn’t want me playing any instruments. I bought the café next door and wanted to introduce myself!” You said raising your basket to show him. “Oh! Welcome to the neighborhood!” He shook your free hand, smiling at you brightly. “So you’re going to be providing us caffeine from now on. I greatly appreciate it.” He said and you couldn’t help but laugh. It’s nice that people were missing a café here, gave you hope that you would do well.

You grabbed one package of muffins and placed them on his counter. “I hope you like lemon blueberry muffins. I made them from scratch and well they’re my personal favorite.” You explained and he tore into the packaging quickly. “I’m partial to anything made with bread.” He said, pulling apart a muffin and popping a piece into his mouth. “Oh, everyone around here is going to love these. You should head to Wooyoung’s restaurant down the street, Yeosang’s skate shop, Oh and Yunho’s little store next door. He might eat you out of house and home but oh boy he might become your best customer. These are delicious.” He complimented and you felt a sigh of relief. No matter how many people tried your food and drinks, you still got anxious when it came to their opinions. “I’ll head there now. Would be nice to have a customer before we even open.” You said softly and Hongjoong nodded. “He’s loyal too. If he likes what you have, he’ll never go anywhere else.” He added, making you laugh.

The sound of the door opening behind you made you glance in that direction, seeing a teenage boy looking around the instruments. “Well, I’ll let you get back to it.” You said, heading for the door. “Thank you again for the muffins and if you ever need any help with anything, don’t be stranger.” Hongjoong told you, making you feel all warm in your chest. He was incredibly kind, you could tell from the way he carried himself. “I won’t. Have a good day!” You said, waving as you exited his store. 

It was an incredibly good day out, sun brightly shining down on you as you walked to the little shop next to the music store. The bell signaled that you entered the building, but there was no one in sight. You stood by the door a moment, not wanting to overstep boundaries even if it was a store to shop in. Not only for that reason though, you were scared to knock something over and break it. 

The store was filled with shelves lining the bright yellow painted walls, on those shelves were a bunch of clay made works. From little figurines to beautifully sculpted plates, vases and mugs coated with bright paint. It was all so colorfull and bright, making a large smile pull over your lips.��

However, no one came to the front so you remained still another moment before calling out. “Hello?” You asked, holding on to your basket and leaning forward to see if you could spot anyone. “Hello?” You asked again, not really expecting a response but wanting to make sure. 

“Come on to the back, I can’t open the door back here because my hands are really dirty!” A voice called out and spotted the door that muffled it. You maneuvered yourself carefully to not knock things over as you made your way to the door, spotting a few mugs and plates you wouldn’t mind adding to the café’s collection on your way. You stood in front of the door not quite knowing what to expect when you opened the door, but you did it anyways. 

It lead to a little studio, with big windows in the back and more shelves lining the room. In the middle sat a pottery wheel with what looked like a half finished vase resting on it. But what was really eye catching, was the man washing his hands by the sink in the corner.

He was tall, with long legs, dark hair and broad shoulders. Wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt that had clay stains all over them. Then he turned around, finally exposing his face to you and you seemingly felt your knees get weak. Never in your life had you seen eyes like his, so big and full of emotion. It only made the stripe of dried clay on his cheek seem even cuter. 

“Can I help you with anything?” He asked, drying his hands before walking towards you. Lifting your basket, you had a hard time finding words for a moment as he smiled at you. “I- uh- Hongjoong next door sent me over. I bought the café 2 doors down and wanted to introduce myself.” You explained, watching his smile get even bigger. You quickly stuck your hand out to his and he looked down at it, taking it gently. “I’m Y/N.” You said, really taking note of the way his eyes sparkled. “I’m Yunho.” 

Now Yunho knew it wasn’t really all that common for people his age to make a living off of pottery and art. But he saw that as a challenge, a challenge he took head on and had managed to do it. It was his passion, it was what he was good at and well, the looks of surprise on people’s faces when they asked him what he did for a living was an added plus. 

Now he hadn’t been expecting any visitors that day so he was taking the time to create a vase he had been thinking about making. But he wasn’t mad at the interuption at all, especially not one in such cute packaging. Your yellow sundress was inviting, your pink cheeks even more so and not to mention the wicker basket with baked goods. You looked like the angel of his own personal heaven. 

“I made muffins, they’re lemon blueberry.” You said, pulling the two packaged muffins out of the basket and handing them to him. You were feeling incredibly shy suddenly, even though the man was radiating nothing but a positive energy. “Oh! You said Hongjoong sent you?” Yunho asked, taking the packaging. You nodded at his words and he let out a hearty laugh. “He knows my kryptonite, baked goods.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words as he took one more step closer to you. 

“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but what are you making?” You asked, gesturing to the pottery wheel. Yunho’s eyes widened at your interest before moving back towards the wheel. “I was asked to make a vase specifically for calla lillies. The design needed to be ‘unique’ according to the client.” He laughed and you took a step closer to look at the clay better. Unique was definitely an accurate description for it, but beautiful none the less. “It’s really pretty.” You said and looked back at him. He was watching your response to his work, finding it endearing how focussed you were on it. 

“I have something for you.” Yunho said quickly, wanting to welcome you to neighborhood properly. He gestured for you to follow him back to the front of the shop as he scanned his shelves for something. “Something for me?” You asked, following him as looked around. “Yes, something for you. To welcome you to the neighborhood.” He said sounding incredibly cheerful which made butterflies fill your stomach.

It was funny how Yunho had taken a few looks at you and instantly had a piece of his in mind to gift you. It just seemed like it suited you, with your bright choice in muffin flavors and the sunny aura that you had radiated to him. It was just an obvious choice to him. 

“There they are.” He said, pulling 2 mugs from the back of a shelf. They were made for a large cup of coffee, with sunflowers molded onto them and painted. They were very pretty and something you most definitely would have picked out for yourself. He quickly shuffled to his counter, wrapping them with paper for protection and placing them in a little bag. Yunho was a little scatterbrained, self admittedly, but it was only natural to get a little extra nervous when there was a pretty girl in front of him. 

“I hope these get put to good use when the café opens.” He said, as he wrote something on a card and slipped it into the bag. You caught a glimpse of his handwriting, noting how messy and cute it was before looking away again. “I’ll definitely put them to good use. I’ll make sure to serve my first cup of coffee in one.” You promised and Yunho could feel his ears burning red. “Good.” He said softly, sliding the bag in your direction. “The shop opens in 2 days, I would enjoy it if you stopped by.” You said softly as you grabbed the bag and placed it in your basket. “I’ll be there for sure.” He said, simply standing and looking at you. You admittedly were doing the same, finding yourself getting absolutely lost in those eyes before tearing yourself away. “I have a few more stops to make-” You started, walking towards the door because you were embarrassed for staring. 

“I really hope you enjoy those muffins.” You finished, placing your hand on the door handle and looking back at him one more time. “I most definitely will.” Yunho smiled, watching you leave his shop before leaning down and pressing his forehead against the counter. He hadn’t had a rush from someone in a long time, you were like a shot of caffeine and he had you on his mind for the rest of the day. 

You had brought around the rest of your muffins before coming back to your shop. It was now late in the afternoon and the had calmed down quite a bit. You had discovered that your new little neighborhood was close, tight knit. Everyone seemed to know eachother and something about that was quite comforting. Wooyoung’s resaurant was incredibly home-y with delicious food (he had forced you to sit down and enjoy some food) and Yeosang’s skate shop was just adorable with a lot of custom boards there and they all seemed to know eachother quite well. It was helping you realise you had chosen the right spot, you needed the support. 

Sitting down at a table, you placed your basket down as well. The whole afternoon you had been curious about what Yunho had written down on the card. It was on your mind the whole time and well so was he. He was quite magnetic, awkward and just very cute, you really couldn’t help it. 

Pulling the mugs from the bag, you unwrapped them carefully so that you can take in the details more. You hadn’t really gotten the chance to before, you were entirely too focussed on something or rather someone else. You held one of the mugs in your hand, looking it over and running your fingers over the smooth ridges. It was all so incredibly detailed and such a sweet gift. 

You put the mug down and pulled the card from the bag. It was just simple cardstock with no design on it, only his writing and you felt the butterflies bubble back up as you read.

“I thought it was a good day because of the weather, but I guess it was because you were in the neighborhood. I can’t wait to stop by your café when it opens, but I would love it even more if you would go on a date with me, maybe let me teach you how to sculpt. I’ll leave my number for you. 

It was nice meeting you, sunshine.

- Yunho

P.S the mugs are handwash only”

You laughed at the last sentence holding the letter to your chest as you did so. A date with Yunho, it was all so sweet. Not to mention his nickname for you had you swooning. 

Pushing yourself up from the table, you placed the mugs on the counter and put the card by your store’s phone. It was too soon to call right away, but you were definitely going to call. There was no doubt about that, you could feel a connection with him instantly and you couldn’t help but mentally thank Hongjoong for that. 

-

Time had seemingly slipped away from you after that day. You had been incredibly busy the day after, getting everything ready and prepared for your grand opening. Baking what you could, grinding coffee beans and preparing mugs, plates and other items. You weren’t expecting a huge turnout or anything... but it never hurt to be prepared. 

But that coupled with your anxiety for doing well, you seemingly forgot about Yunho’s number that was just waiting to be called by your phone. It was purely accidental that it happened, that it had all slipped your mind. 

But you were quickly reminded of it when he stood in front of you, after you had given one of your first customers their order of coffee and an oatmeal cookie. There he was, standing in front of you at 10 a.m, wearing a lightly striped button down tucked into black jeans. Considerably more dressed up than the last time you had seen him, however this image of him made you think of his number and you panicked. 

“Oh my god Yunho, I forgot to call.” You said, clasping a hand over your mouth in embarrassment. You felt absolutely horrible at the realization however Yunho could only laugh. “It’s alright, it’s alright sunshine. I figured you were busy with the opening and everything so I didn’t take it to heart.” He smiled at you and you pouted. “I feel really bad. What can I do to make it up to you?” You asked, walking around your little counter because from what you could tell, there were no more customers left to serve aside from him in the café. 

Your response was just so cute to him, he didn’t think you owed him anything at all. He gave you his number and it was your choice to call him or not. However he still would have really like that date, especially seeing you again. You were wearing a simple orange, shin length, floral skirt with a black t-shirt tucked into it and an apron fastened around your waist. You were... sunny to him. 

“You don’t have to make it up to me, you don’t owe me anything. But I would still like to know if you would like to go on a date with me?” He asked and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief at his question. “Oh and I would love another lemon blueberry muffin. I ate both alarmingly fast the other day.” He added on quickly, laughing as he did so. He didn’t want you to feel pressure, at all. Yunho wanted you to go out with him because you wanted too, not anything else. 

You looked down to the ground in attempts to hide the blush on your cheeks, before pulling yourself together and finally looking up into his eyes. “I can definitely do a date and I can also definitely do a muffin.” You said and quickly disappeared behind your counter again. Yunho watched with adoration as you did, incredibly happy but trying to keep things cool. 

“Here is your muffin... would you like anything else?” You asked, handing him the packaged treat and his fingers grazed yours. “No, I got what I came for.” Yunho said and reached for his wallet. “No, it’s on the house.” You stopped him and he looked at you, opening his mouth to  say something. “I know you said I don’t owe you anything but, just take it. For my own sake.” You explained and he bit down on his lip to keep his smile to a minimum. “Thank you.” He said softly, back away from the counter because how much he was beaming. 

“Call me to set up the date tonight? Okay?” He said, now leaning in the open door of the café. “I will. I definitely will this time.” You said and he nodded, walking away and letting himself smile fully. 

Your first day was incredibly good, a total of almost 50 customers which really wasn’t much but still good and a date settled with an absolutely beautiful man. It was just a good day, you smelled like coffee when you got home and there was nothing better than that. Life was coming together. 

-

He had set things up in such a specific way, he wanted this to be perfect. Something about you drew Yunho in so much, he didn’t want to mess this date up at all. It meant a lot to him. 

So when you showed up to his store again, ready for your date, he had his heart in his throat. He had told you to wear something you wouldn’t mind that got dirty and well you listened, showing up in overall you deemed your “paint overalls” the ones you would wear while painting your house and some beat up Converse sneakers. Yunho was wearing the same clothes from the day you had first met and waiting inside his store when you appeared at the door. 

“You look very cute.” Yunho commented, the second you entered the building and your cheeks flushed red. “I’m used to people starting conversations by saying hello.” You said, leaning onto the counter he was stood behind. He mimiced your actions, face getting closer to yours. “Hello. You look very cute.” He teased and you looked down to avoid his gaze with a soft smile. “Anyways, what are we doing today?” You asked, standing back up fully and slipping your hands into your pockets. 

“Well, do you need anything else for your shop?” Yunho asked and you took a moment to think. “I was thinking about stopping by for some small, single flower vases. To see if you even had anything like that. Why?” You asked and he pushed himself off the counter. 

Now if you had said no, he would have sat you down to make something random just to have fun. But now he was going to give you something you could absolutely make use of and hopefully something to remind you of him. 

“I figured I could teach how to make them, something you want exactly.” Yunho said, scratching the back of his head because he was now completely questioning his own idea. “Oh!!! I would absolutely love that!” You said, needing to contain your excitement. Something about a date like this really touched your heart and even if this wouldn’t go anywhere, you know you would remember it for the rest of your life. 

He let out a sigh of relief before leading you to his studio, where he had set up a picnic blanket on the floor next to the large windows with a basket filled with treats. You couldn’t help but place your hand on your chest, your heart pounding because of how sweet he was. 

“Jeong Yunho, I do believe you are a romantic.” You said, gesturing to the blanket and he had to hold back a laugh. “Maybe just a little bit... I just thought we could talk a bit while the clay is in the kiln.” He explained, well rambled more. He was absolutely making your heart melt and there was no doubt about it. 

He sat you down behind the wheel after preparing everything for you, the damp clay sitting on top of the wheel. You looked up at him, questioning what to do because this was completely foreign territory to you. “Start spinning the wheel and wet your hands in that bowl and just start feeling around the clay a bit. Get a feel of what you’re doing.” He said, crouching down by your side. You followed his instructions, under his carefull gaze.

Yunho had guided your hands carefully from next to you, until you had accidentally placed way too much pressure on the clay and denting the form. “Oh, uhh let me see if I can fix that.” Yunho said, seeing how you struggled to get it back the way it was. You stood and he took your seat, his height when sitting coming up to your shoulders. He was mesmerizing to watch as he sculpted, eyes focussed on the wheel and lips kind of pursed. He was just so pretty. 

“I think I get it.” You said and he looked at you in confusion. “This suits you, sitting here behind the pottery wheel, working with your hands. It really suits you. You’re completely in your element. It’s really beautiful to see.” You explained further and he allowed the wheel to slow down, to look up at you. 

You didn’t even realise how close you were until you felt his breath fan over your lips and you suddenly felt excitement in your chest. So you made a split second decision, you made a judgement call. 

Leaning forward, you pressed a quick kiss to his very soft looking, plump lips. Yunho was caught off guard, not having expected that at all but not complaining either. In the few hours you had maybe spent together, there was something completely undeniable there. 

Now admittedly, the kiss was too long for it to be a peck and that was because Yunho could’ve sworn he tasted strawberry on your lips. It left him wanting more, so he deepened the kiss and for a moment you forgot your hands were covered in wet clay. You cupped his face, only for him to laugh against your lips and you realised your mistake. 

“Oh my God, I am so sorry.” You said, pulling away and looking at your hand prints on his cheeks. Yunho couldn’t stop laughing, maybe because of how ridiculously funny the situation was or maybe because of the pure joy he was feeling. “I got too caught up - I- I- completely forgot my hands were-.” You explained in frustration, really wanting to cover your face in embarrassment but deciding against it with better judgement. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Can you just maybe wash your hands and then hand me that washcloth by the sink?” He asked and you did as told quickly bringing him the damp cloth to help him get your marks off of him. His cheeks and ears were flushed the whole time as you did so, eyes following your movements and reading the concern on your face. “It’s really okay.” Yunho laughed, comforting you a little more but you couldn’t help but stay embarrassed. “It’s definitely a story to tell. Not my best first kiss admittedly.” You said and pushed your hair out of your face, not your brightest moment most definitely. 

“I mean, I could act like it didn’t happen. Or we could just have a do over?” Yunho suggested, placing the cloth down on the counter and looking at you with a cheeky smile. He just wanted to make sure it was really strawberry he was tasting on your lips. “A do-over?” You asked, crossing your arms and looking up at him. 

His hands came up to your waist, pulling you a tad closer by the belt loops of your overalls before leaning down to your level again. You cupped his face, allowing your thumbs to run over the smooth skin of his cheeks and smilled to yourself. “Oh sunshine, you’re just the cutest.” He said softly and closed the space inbetween you too. This was it, this was what it was supposed to feel like. Butterflies flying around your stomach and your heart pounding in your chest because of how badly you wanted to kiss someone. This was right. 

Your hands moved from his cheeks to his hair as he deepened the kiss, tasting that sweet strawberry flavor again and making a mental note to ask you about it later. His hands held your waist gently, not moving in any way in fear of overstepping his boundaries. 

Pulling away again, this time with a considerable less amount of embarrassment, you placed your hands on his chest gently. “You see, that’s what I was trying to do.” You said softly, toying with the fabric of his shirt. “I figured.” He said in response, letting eachother go in the process. “Your lips taste like strawberries, as if you couldn’t get any more sweet.” Yunho commented, just looking at you with mild disbelief as you sat behind the pottery wheel again. You knew exactly why you tasted that way, you were experimenting with strawberry creme for on top of cupcakes and had to taste test it.

“Come by the café some more and I’ll show you why.” You smiled cheekily and started to spin the wheel again, wanting to finish your vase. “Hmm, sounds good. It sounds like another date.” 

- 

“That’ll be 7.50.” You said cheerily before going to pour her coffee and grab her 2 slices of coffee cake. You handed her, her items and waved her out of the store before letting out a sigh. There was a dip in how busy it was and you had a moment to relax. 

“I just noticed that your customer service voice is the same as your regular voice.” Hongjoong said from the table closest to your counter. He had been coming in on his breaks to hang out and talk and well this was one of those times. “Is it? I never noticed.” You asked with a raised brow, Hongjoong shook his head at you. “I can’t believe your just genuinely that sweet.” He commented and went back to looking on his phone. 

“Of course Y/N’s that sweet.” Yunho’s voice came in from behind you, knowing he came in through the back. His hands moved to your hips from behind and rested his head on your shoulder. “They even smell cake 90% of the time.” He added on before kissing your cheek. This earned a blush from you and a sigh coupled with an eyeroll from Hongjoong. 

“Disgustingly cute.” Hongjoong grumbled, standing from his seat and grabbing his coffee. “I’ll be taking this to go.” He added, leaving your cafe to give you both a shred of privacy. 

Laughing, you turned around in Yunho’s arm and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Hi.” You said softly, toying with the hairs on the back of his neck. A few months in and you were incredibly close, ridiculously in love. The whole neighborhood knew, the whole neighborhood thought it was disgustingly cute and well you were incredibly happy. 

“Hi.”  He said back, leaning you backwards to press you against your counter. He had been missing you all day, all week more like. With the school breaks on top of general vacation days, business had been going quite well. But that also meant a little less time together. Which was alright, that was healthy but God Yunho was missing you. 

He kissed your cheek, moving his lips over your skin lightly to pay you some special attention because there was no one in the cafe anyways and there was just something about getting you so flustered. 

“What’s gotten into you?” You asked, taking a deep breath as his lips moved over your neck and down to the neckline of your dress. “When can I get you alone for more than 5 minutes?” Yunho asked, pulling his lips away from you again. He could tell you were breathing a little heavier and your cheeks were flushed, exactly what he wanted. 

“I think I have more than 5 minutes of alone time after work.” You explained, only for his lips to find the base of your neck again. His hands were now massaging your sides, bunching up your dress slightly when the bell of your door rang. 

“I forgot my phone and I’m glad I saw this so that I can leave a bad review on yelp.” Hongjoong said and you both pulled away from eachother quite quickly. “Come by the shop after you close up okay sunshine?” Yunho said, trying to hide his embarrassment as Hongjoong gave him a dirty look.

“I will.” You said, quickly pecking his lips one more time before he exited your shop. You were a total shade of pink because of the way Hongjoong was looking at you. “Don’t say anything.” You said, pointing your finger in his direction the second Yunho left. He started laughing, grabbing his phone from the table. “You two are so in love it’s disgusting. Get married already, have coffee filled, artsy babies.” He teased and you shook your head. “It seems like you two were half way there already, wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t walk in.” He added and you turned away, suddenly feeling the need to keep your hands busy. 

“Probably nothing, we haven’t gone that far. Doubt it would’ve happened in broad daylight, in an open café.” You said, now wiping down a fully clean counter to get out of your own mind. You wanted to take that next step with Yunho and he seemingly wanted to take that step too. 

So you made your way over to his shop after closing, checking the way you looked in the reflection on the windows before entering. You weren’t nervous, at all actually. Everything felt certain with him and so did this. You instantly walked to studio portion of his shop, anticipation in your chest as you pushed the door open. 

“Hey you closed early.” Yunho said as he cleaned his counter by the sink. “I did. Thought maybe we could stretch those 5 minutes into a few hours.” You said softly, walking behind him to hug him from behind. You missed him the last few days too, you were definitely realising it while holding him. “You can’t just kiss me like that in the middle of the day and leave.” You mumbled against him as his hands found your, drawing shapes into your skin with his fingers. 

“Sorry about the inconvenience.” He chuckled and pulled you to stand in front of him, wedging you between him and the counter. “Big inconvenience. I’ve been thinking about you all day.” You leaned back onto the counter as Yunho took a step forward. His thigh, wedging between your legs as he did so. He was completely hovering over you, hands finding purchase on your hips. “Maybe that’s what I wanted.” His voice was a tone lower than normal, making your tongue dart out to wet your lips. 

You grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him close because you really couldn’t wait much longer and kissed him. Yunho loved it when he brought you to that point because he found it oh so endearing when you needed him so badly. 

Using his hands, he lifted you up onto the counter fully making your dress bunch up slightly. His hands moved down to the newly exposed flesh of your thighs as his tongue slipped into your mouth. This, this was what drove him insane because everytime he kissed your lips you tasted so sweet. 

You tugged his hair as his grip on you tightened, making him groan against your lips. “How do you do it, you always taste so sweet?” He asked with his forehead pressed against yours. You leaned forward a little, making your core come into contact with his denim clad thigh and you whimpered before answering him. “That’s for me to know and you to be amazed by.” Shaking his head at your answer, he pressed his lips to yours again absolutely not caring if it was sloppy or not. 

He continued to pull your hips down, making your core rub over his thigh and you couldn’t help but pull his hair harshly. This made him nip down on your bottom lip before moving his hands to hike up the skirt of your dress. He was absolutely obsessed with how soft your skin was in his hands every new inch that was revealed, didn’t disappoint. 

Moving his lips down your neck again, he made sure to nip down on your skin and making you gasp. Yunho was going with intent to leave marks, there was just something that made him compelled to do so. His hands moved to your waist to drag you closer to edge of the counter and closer to him. His fingertips finding the hem of your panties to toy with them, making heat pool between your legs even more. 

His mouth stopped at the neckline of your dress, before he looked up at you. “Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging on your dress slightly. The little question making heat rise to your cheeks. “Yes, you can.” You answered softly, helping him lift the fabric off of your body. You were about to throw your dress to the side when took it from you, folding it before laying it down gently on a chair. You sat, kicking your legs slightly as you watched him because the action made your heart flutter. 

“Don’t want your dress to get dirty.” He said, turning back around to look at you. He could feel his heart stop a moment, you were incredibly just so incredibly beautiful to him. The dim lit room, coupled with your slightly swollen lips, pink cheeks and the fact that you were sitting there in nothing but your underwear, it was driving him insane. 

“God you look...” Yunho started, walking back to you to wrap his arms around your bare waist. You curled his hair between your fingers, looking him the eyes. “Absolutely beautiful.” His eyes sparkled as he spoke, making your whole body fill with warmth as he looked at you. You wrapped your legs around him, to pull him even closer to you. “I’m feeling a little self conscious here. Can you maybe?” You didn’t finish your sentence, just tugging on his shirt in hopes he’d get the message. He pulled it off of him and simply threw it on the ground, not giving it the same care he gave your dress. “I don’t care if that gets dirty.” He said before kissing your lips quickly and sinking down to his knees. 

Eye level with your core, he traced his fingers over your clothed slit slowly, looking at you to see your response. Your eyes were shut up and your lips were agape, body tensing as his finger grazed your clit. That was enough for him to hook his fingers into the lace, tugging your panties down your legs. You brought your hand to your face, taking your thumb between your teeth as Yunho pulled your legs over his shoulders. 

He feathered kisses over your thighs, squeezing them as he did so and inching closer and closer to where you needed him. “You’re going to tease me when I’ve already been thinking about you all day?” You asked, voice muffled by your own hand. He looked up at you again, eyes darker and blinking at you. “Yes, because it seems to be working.” He answered, dragging his fingers over your slit. “You’re so wet, Sunshine.” He finished, kissing your clit lightly and your hips bucked for more friction. 

He looked up at you one more time, taking a mental image of you with your finger caught between your teeth just staring at him before kissing you again. Allowing his tongue to move over your folds and tasting you. You attempted to clamp your legs shut at the sensation only for him to hold them open, not allowing you to go anywhere as he ate you out. Lips wrapping around your clit and making you moan out loud. Your hand moved to grip his hair, just wanting him even closer to you because fuck... he was making you feel so good. 

“Yunho-” You moaned, making his fingertips dig further into your thighs. “Sunshine, you even taste sweet.” He commented, kissing your thighs again as you tugged on his hair for more. “Baby please don’t stop.” You begged, nearly pouting as you did so because you were oh so close to cumming. 

He stood back up, face now level with yours again and you whined. “Relax.” He said softly, hand trailing down your body before cupping your core. His finger teased your hole while the other hand cupped your face, slipping a finger into and watching every expression as he did so. Yunho thrust his fingers into you harshly as your mouth fell open again. Eyes locked onto Yunho’s as he drew you closer and closer to your orgasm. Your fingers clawed at his arms as the coil in your stomach tightened. “Yunho, please.” You whined, feeling him insert another finger and stretching you out. 

He sped up his pace, feeling you tighten around his fingers and the scratching down his arms get harder. “Come on, cum for me sunshine.” He pressed his forehead against yours as you let out a small scream that faded into a whine. The coil bursting as his fingers continued thrusting into you. Your face burried into his neck as you held onto him, needing something to brace yourself with. 

He watched you slump into his arms, using his hand that was holding your face to now stroke your hair. “You’re alright.”  He cooed, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of his hardon pressing against his jeans. You kept your face in his neck as your hands moved from his arms down his chest and torso. Trailing down the faint outline of abs as your hands went down, resting on the button of his jeans as you finally looked at him again. 

“I love you.” You said softly, as if it was a secret and you were in a crowded room. Your fingers undid his jeans, not waiting on a response from him. If he wasn’t there yet, he wasn’t there. 

“Hey.” He cupped your face again, making your focus now be solely on him. You hardly gave him time to respond to your confession before you went undo his jeans, he needed you to focus on what he was going to say because he could tell you were scared for his answer. 

“Relax, Sunshine. I love you too.” He said, taking in the way your eyes widened at his words. “I- I- can I?” You stuttered, gesturing to his jeans. “Yes, yes you can.” He laughed, continuing to cup your face as you undid his jeans and dragged the zipper down. He hummed as your fingers grazed his hard on, gripping your face a little tighter making you smile. 

“Now who’s teasing?” He asked you and you giggled, only for him to shake his head. He grabbed your hands and pulled them off of his jeans so that he could pull them down, together with his briefs. “Can’t deal with what you dish out?” You asked and he shook his head, placing his hand next to your hips on the counter. “Not nearly as well.” He admitted and you wrapped your legs around his bare waist to pull him against you. 

His free hand gripped the base of his cock as he rubbed it over your folds. You held the back of his neck, watching his actions before he slipped into you slowly. Your nails dug into his skin, making goosebumps coat his skin as he sheathed himself into you fully. The whimper you let out of was like music to his ears and the way you felt wrapped around him was better than he dreamed of. 

Yunho gave you a moment to adjust before wrapping his arms around your waist and almost picking you up off of the counter. It caught you by surprise making you hold onto him even tighter. “Fuck Yunho.” You hummed, as he started thrusting into you, using the leverage he had gotten from holding you. His pace picked up, fucking into you slowly as your sounds filled his studio. 

“You feel so good, Sunshine.” He praised, a low moan leaving his mouth afterwards as you scratched down his back. He thrusted a bit harder and faster, needing a taste of that sweet release because he too had been thinking about you all day. 

“Right there-” You choked out as he hit your sweet spot, the heels of your feet digging into his thighs. He pressed his face into your neck, placing kisses everywhere he could reach and sucking even more marks into your skin. He continued actions, making you tighten around him very quickly. He let go of your waist to place one of his hands by your side on the counter and the other down to rub your clit, giving him leverage to bring you both to the edge quickly. Your hands moved to his arms, scratching down them as well just adding to the pleasure he was going through. 

“Sunshine, I’m really close.” He moaned out, hips staggering slightly as he continuously rubbed your clit. You pet his hair, drawing his attention back to your face and that was it for him. You looked oh so fucked out and the way you were holding on to him, it was enough to send him over the edge. His hips stopped as he came inside of you, head drooping and beautiful loud moans leaving him as he did so. However, his fingers never stopped circling your clit and threw you over the edge with him. 

He was a mess, moaning at the feeling of you contracting around him and the overstimulation of it. The way you felt holding on to him, stroking his skin as you both calmed down. He was now holding you close against his chest, still resting inside you for a moment as you caught your breaths. 

“I meant it you know, when I said I love you back.” Yunho’s voice was soft spoken as he pet your hair. “I know.” You said as you traced over his arm. “Good, just wanted to make sure you knew I didn’t just say it because we were having sex.” He explained, body leaving yours and making you sigh. 

“I know I definitely didn’t just say it because of that.” You said as he handed you back your underwear. “That’s good.” He smiled at you that goofy smile, eyes filled with love. You shook your head, before grabbing his face gently and pulling him for another quick kiss. You just really wanted him to know that you meant it.  

“Come on, let’s go to my place. Maybe watch a movie, eat dinner, have round 2. All of the options are allowed.” He said laughing before handing you your dress, as you rolled your eyes at his words. 

“Ah Sunshine, I love you to bits.” 

- 

“The back of Yunho’s neck looks like he’s been mauled by a tiger, you wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that?” Hongjoong asked as he entered Yunho’s shop the next day. He had to run errands and asked you to watch his shop for a moment, so there you were sitting behind his counter and painting a piece of pottery you had helped him make not to long before. 

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” You said, needing to bite on your lips to contain your smile as you continued to paint the clay. “Uh-huh, tell that to those hickies all over your neck.” He commented and you looked at him. “Do you ever spend time in your own store?” You asked in frustration and he started laughing, pointing at you. “I knew it!” He laughed and you shook your head. “Okay, okay. Shut up about it.” You hid your face in your hands, feeling how beat red you were. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll stop teasing.” Hongjoong joked, walking around the shelves of pottery. No one else was in the shop, so the conversation wasn’t entirely inappropriate. “But it was good though? No hiccups, no awkward situations?” He asked and you could only smile at the thought of it all. “No, nothing awkward.” You said and he stood in front of the counter again. 

“I told him I love him for the first time.” You added quickly, simply going back to painting. “Wait, you did? For the first time? It took you both that long?” Admittedly Hongjoong wasn’t wrong, but you had felt love for him a long time ago. There just wasn’t a desire to vocalize it just yet, on either end. “I mean it was obvious that you too loved eachother, I’m just surprised it took you so long to say it.” Hongjoong explained and you nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. But sometimes it’s better to just wait until there’s that moment. That perfect moment to say it.” Last night was most definitely that moment for you. 

The store bell made you both redirect your attention to the door. Only for Yunho to pop his head in and look at you. “I was half way to the store when I realised that I didn’t ask you needed anything.” He said, smiling at you with stars in his eyes. “You could’ve just texted me.” You smiled back as Hongjoong watched the interaction. “I could’ve, but I would rather just walk back and see you instead.” He explained and Hongjoong laughed. 

“You two, you two are something else.” Hongjoong commented and Yunho shook his head. “But you don’t need anything?” He asked and you shook your head. “No, I got all I need.” You said and he nodded before going to leave again. “I love you, Sunshine.” He said quickly, shutting the door behind him. “I love you too.” You said smiling, knowing he couldn’t hear you anymore but still taking the time to do it. Hongjoong rolled his eyes at you and opened his mouth to say something. 

“As disgusting as you two are, how cute you are together makes up for it.” 

A/N: Feedback is kind!

I’m not completely satisfied with the ending but I still like this story alot. Sometimes you just need some happy stories. I hope you guys enjoy!

[nevertheless-moving]

thanks again to @dykerory and @willowcrowned for this genius au. this is an incomplete collection of very specific set of headcanons/daydreams i had about a tangential version of your au that made me emotional in the middle of the woods. whenever you feel the time is right, i’m very eager to hear your og version on the ‘but obi-wan, tho!’, because i admittedly pushed this one’s resolution really far chronologically because i wanted batman to be involved.

continuation from here

note: my understanding of dcu is as sporadically informed as my understanding of the gffa. 

newly graduated clark kent gets his first journalism job and starts settling more and more into the superman thing. the rest of the justice league has been around but his entrance onto the scene is the one that really inspires the various heroes to actually start coordinating to deal with the weirdness magnet that is dcu Earth. Clark is in his early 20s. Anakin is in his late 30s.

He’s been living on Earth, without the force, for nearly 2/3rds of his life. He has a close knit circle of friends who were kind to him even when they thought he was just a weird and crazy emo cult victim (the gradual increase of public encounters with aliens and superpowers sparks some awkward apologies, Anakin at 38 just waves his friends off, smiling and changing the subject, neither confirming nor denying his high school ramblings of spaceships and magic. it doesn’t really change anything).

He lives an hour’s drive from smallville, and runs a successful auto shop. people travel from pretty far to check out some of his more wild and specialized motorcycle abominations. makes enough money selling them to rich idiots to fund his free auto-class and auto-repair programs for impoverished communities.

It took a while but he eventually came around to the idea of helping people without physical force (ironically, this is happening around the same time Clark is coming to the realization that he can help people with physical force). Generally respected as a pillar of the community. When people start to realize how profoundly weird he is as a person in a number of inexplicable ways, someone will generally pull them aside and quietly whisper that he was in a cult at a child, no one really knows much about it except that it’s what inspired his anti-modern-slavery work, which is a little telling. Not married. Was in a long-term relationship for like 9 years. It didn’t end well but no-one knows the details.

Has several cats. 

He’s- wistful but settled. He’s been through a lot of therapy. He meditates every morning and night, clearing his mind and examining his emotions in the way Obi-Wan taught him. He thinks Obi-Wan would be proud of him. He know his Mom would be.

Once he gets used to the idea, he never really stops loving the concept of learning just because. Duel bachelors degree in in african american history and american literature, masters in engineering, masters in astrophysics a phd in theoretical physics, another phd in medieval folklore. He’s worked a lot of jobs. 

He was already pretty well versed in astronavigation back at the temple. Over the course of his time on earth, he gets more educated in earth astronomy and physics. With is increased knowledge, his theory for ‘how did i get here’ shifts from slight hyperdrive miscalculation, to big hyperdrive miscalculation, to some sort of hyperlane incident. he realizes that none of the stars he knows are familiar in any NASA database. He must be beyond wildspace, which helps him let go of the last bit of hurt he felt that Obi-Wan never found him.

Then he really learns physics- and- light doesn’t exactly work like that right? He thought it was just primitive Earth understanding but... he gets a phd more or less accidentally, trying and failing to disprove that the speed of life is constant constant.

Get’s another even more accidentally, explaining how alternate universes might form if we assume slightly different universal constants. He publishes his thesis anonymously around the same time metas are becoming a household term, and at least one science journalist speculates on it and how alternate universes might explain the increasing prevalence of wildly different superpowers. He doesn’t claim credit for the honorary diploma awarded to the unknown theorist- he doesn’t want to risk drawing any attention to him and by extension Clark, who’s alien differences are far more of the ‘military experiment interesting’ variety then his.

He stops tinkering with Clark’s ship. He finally gets how it works. Now that he realizes how FTL travel has to work in this universe, tinkering with the mechanical generation and harnessing of the massive quantities of energy necessary to do is startlingly familiar. But it doesn’t matter. No matter how far and fast he travels, he’s never going to be able to get back to the life he used to know. 

Perhaps this is what being the chosen one actually means- he’s meant to live a life without the force, so that when he returns to it in death he’ll be able to somehow...educate? the force? maybe?

Ok, he’s not great at the metaphysical spiritual side of things, but he does accept that going back is out of his control, and he’s doing good here, even if it’s not galaxy altering.

Despite all the therapy, he never doubts that his early life was real. He has his saber and deep, deep down he can feel a spark in the kyber. He can’t do anything with it, but it’s there. There’s also pieces of the utter wreck that was his ship in the cellar, next to the sleek unblemished pod that Clark arrived in. Shortly before Clark becomes Superman, he asks for his help in melting down his old ship to make unearthly alloys. 

He’s not surprised when Clark tells him he met a ‘real’ ‘magic’ user- it stands to reason that considering how relatively easy it is to convert energy from one form to another in this universe (Clark can fly), at least one kind would bend to sentient willpower in a similar way as the force does.

It’s still a little nervewracking showing his lightsaber to someone new for the first time in a decade. Zantana scrutinizes, bewildered. 

“There is some sort of power locked within, but it’s unfamiliar to me,” she admits finally. “I could probably brute force it and force the energy to release itself, but it would likely destroy the container.” Anakin politely refuses. 

Later, after the justice league’s formation, Clark mentions to J’onn that he has a friend who might be able to work on his ship. J’onn is extremely doubtful when he’s brought to a bizarre autoshop in the midwest that looks half-like a roadside attraction. Anakin sighs and digs his hands into the guts of the craft, muttering incomprehensibly and yelling at clark to melt down some pieces from the special scrap pile. A few days later he explains the patches he’s done to an impressed J’onn. When he asks how a human came to learn such things, he’s absently informed that,

“I used to work in a junkshop in Tatooine. All sorts of ship parts came through.”

“I’m unfamiliar with this world.”

“Tell you what, if you ever meet anyone who’s heard it of it, send them my way, and I’ll make your next repair free.”

“Oh! I’m afraid I don’t have any earth money...”

“Ugh, of course you don’t. it’s cool, capitalism sucks anyway and everyone’s entitled to free transportation, regardless of the area they happen to live. I do ask that if you can’t pay for the repairs that you spend an equivalent number of hours either attending one of my free auto classes, or volunteer at a community-led charities of your choice, here I’ll get you a pamphlet-”

So the Martian Manhunter becomes a weekly volunteer at a Midwestern Food Waste Reclamation Facility. J’onn J’onzz ends up becoming Anakin Skywalker’s friend well before he becomes comes truly comfortable around Kal-El. For a telepath, 39 year old Anakin’s Jedi orderly mind is a soothing relief.

(again, Anakin has spent far more time meditating on Earth then he ever did at the temple. Before all this, spent five years dutifully memorizing the Jedi way even as he struggled to live up it’s basic practices. For the first few years on earth, religiously practicing every meditation technique Obi-Wan ever taught him, thinking obsessively about the philosophies he never had time to really process, is just a desperate attempt to reconnect with the force, prove himself worthy of it. But even after he gives up on ever touching the force again, he keeps up the practice, he can’t release his emotions exactly, but he does find peace. The tendency to stop mid-rant to earnestly pronounce made up zen bullshit and then sit quietly for an hour before picking up on his tirade again as though there was no interruption is one of the things many things people find profoundly weird about him)

Kal-El doesn’t stop asking new aliens and dimensional travelers if they’ve ever heard of Coruscant, or Hutts, or the Jedi Order. Anakin might have given up, but Superman remembers his older brother scrubbing away his own tears to focus on helping Clark calm down enough to touch the floor again. The more the Kryptonian’s powers developed in alarming ways, the more Anakin set aside talk of missing his home galaxy. Anakin might have claimed it wasn’t like that, but Clark was determined to take every chance his increasingly weird life threw at him, no matter how vanishingly small.

In the middle of his first battle with Braniac, Clark starts insulting his incomplete database. The world collector pauses, demanding a more precise explanation. Clark complies, giving his best technical description of Coruscant’s cityscape, Tatooine’s binary star system, and so on. Braniac is so distracted that Superman recovers completely from his kryptonite poisoning and easily saves the day.

Neither the lantern corp or the denizens of the neutral zone have the answers. Superman doesn’t mention it it Anakin, but he never stops looking and listening.

“How did you even meet that guy?” Flash asks curiously after stopping to say hello on one of their after work laps of the country. 

“Aliens among us support group,” Kal-El responds deadpan. 

“Oh. Wait, what? He’s an alien? I thought he was from the future or something! You’re messing with me. No way that’s a thing. How many people are in the support group? This is a joke, right?”

“Sorry, most of them aren’t out and I don’t want to violate their privacy- a lot of them have high profile jobs. How do you think I met J’onn?”

“SUPES I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW YOU’VE GOTTA STOP”

Anakin is just sort of vaguely known by a solid chunk of the super community as ‘that one midwestern zen space mechanic’ and no one really questions it because everyone’s life has just gotten so goddamn weird. A few of them know he used to be a space wizard of some kind. Space wizards now being a regular hazard of life on earth, no one has reason to doubt this, and it’s as good an explanation as any for Anakin’s general vibe.

well. almost no one doubts this. Batman does not simply accept Anakin’s general bullshittery without carefully investigating and drawing his own conclusions. He does not share these with anyone.

But one day Clark- this is well after Superman became Kal-El to him, and not long after Kal-El tells him to call him Clark- comes up to him and asks for his help finding about an alternate universe. Knowing and dreading where this is going, Batman stalls,

“Shouldn’t you be asking one of the league members who regularly travels between universes?”

“I have, over the years,” Clark admits, awkwardly scuffing a boot on the floor of the cave. “But no one’s familiar with the exact one I’m looking for, and I thought since you’re a detective, and also one of the smartest people I know, you might be able to help me...”

“You’re an investigator yourself, and you can survive the vacuum of space,” Bruce shoots back flatly. “I’ve told you before Gotham is my priority, and this has ‘personal project’ all over it.”

“Come on, B, please,” Superman pleads, trailing Batman around the cave like an overgrown puppy. “In a few months it will have been 30 years! He’s my brother! Just let me see the research you’ve already done!”

“Who says I’ve already done research on your brother?”

Clark shoots him a look. And Bruce concedes the point with a grunt.

“I’ll need need to talk with him first,” Bruce finally concedes. “Bring him by the cave. Take the-”

“Take the tunnel entrance, I know, I know,” Clark agrees with a grin. “This doesn’t mean he’s authorized to know your secret identity. Thanks Bruce, this means a lot. I’ll ask him tomorrow about his schedule.”

Superman flies off and Batman scrubs his face with a gloved hand. After a moment he pulls up Anakin’s file on the main monitor. Bruce honestly respects and likes the man, as much as he respects and likes anyone who’s not family. He admires his sense his style, appreciates his upgrades to the batmobile, and is impressed by both this civil rights work and his additions to the scientific community.

That doesn’t mean he’s not convinced that Anakin’s brother is a bit insane. Again, he’s not judging! He dresses like a bat to scare random henchmen and beat up actual demigods! He wishes his rogues gallery was as capable of directing their ptsd-inspired delusions and staggering intellects towards such productive pursuits!

Bruce was already in quiet awe of the Kent’s ability to raise an outrageously superpowered being without blowing up a chunk of the country; their success in derailing a supervillian origin story just puts him over the edge. He stares at the three most likely profiles he’s pulled together. Christen Jones, from a negligent family, death certificate filled out suspicously sloppily at age 3. Earl Lucas, went missing at age 9, both parents dead in a violent assault. And Jake Hayden, who at age 5 disappeared along with the rest of his family in a seismic accident later linked to Luthercorp.

Anyone of them could have suffered on the streets for years and coped by establishing an elaborate fantasy world, aided by self medication, only to eventually be picked up by the Kent’s and start healing. Certainly Anakin had the intellect to create worlds in his mind. All his rogues were smart enough to create their own little realities in their heads- it doesn’t mean they were actually reachable. 

Unfortunately Anakin had a Kryptonian younger brother who was determined to actually find the space wizard knight homeworld, even as the 'Jedi’ in question had slowly moved away his reliance on the delusion as an adult. Batman really didn’t see any way bringing up his conclusions to Anakin or Clark could possibly be helpful, and so many alien allies had a ‘If you find about the Jedi please contact Kal-El of Krypton on Earth’ pamphlet that it would be excruciatingly awkward to try and discretely correct anyone.

Bruce was not looking forward to this conversation.

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

Dead Karamel Fics Club

So, I was talking with a @raisedbyfandomwolves about the karamel fics ideas we are never going to write and I’m going to kill you with one of my ideas.

The title: DEAD TO THE WORLD

Theme song:

Deathwish without a prayer

End of hope

End of love

End of time

The rest is silence 

*evil laugh*

It starts sometime after s3. Mon-El for a few years is in the future and exploring with his Legion friend Sal the ruins of National City (most of the humanity lives in the flying cities, because the future, bitches!, and most of the earth is destroyed).

Suddenly Sal calls him, because he finds intact newspaper. Mon grabs it but it turns to dust, but before he manages to make a hologram of the first page with his ring.

The article written by James Olsen is about Supergirl’s heroic death.

In their Legion headquarters he, Sal and Brainiac are talking about the article. Mon notices some of the facts in the article are different than in the past he remembers, also Kara should not be dead on that moment aka someone is screwing the timeline.

He demands (aka showing Brainiac into the wall and threatening to murder him with cold blood) to be sent into the past. Sal agrees to come with him.

The problem is, the device Brainiac offers is not good – it can bring you back once and then goes poof!. Also, they can’t take anything with them aka they end naked *Terminator’s theme in the background*. So, no legion rings. Also, they may or may not turn into a cloud made of molecules.

Mon of course doesn’t give a fuck but promises he won’t contact Kara or superfriends to not fuck the timeline more. Because they can’t take anything with them, Brainiac tattoos how to make the device on Mon’s back.

Before they are sent, they drink some rum and holds hands and byeeee, Brainiac Mon and Sal to the past.

What happens?

A lot can happen in 5 seconds.

In the first second, you can open your eyes and see darkness. You can realize you are levitating in air. You can also realize you are completely naked. In the second, you can fall down. In third, you can make a hole in the roof of a henhouse and be a cause of a collective heart attack of 20 poor chickens. In the fourth you can throw up the aldebaran rum you so unwisely drunk before Brainy sent your ass back into the past. In the fifth you can moan the one and only fitting word:

“Fuck.”

There is no Sal in the sight. Did he turn into a dust? Stay tuned!

Because I have amazing sense of humor, Mon is found by an old lady who is the owner of the henhouse. She aims a shotgun at him, while he, covers himself with a chicken and explains himself.

Because the lady is bored and she doesn’t see hot naked guys, she clothes him, feeds him and borrows some money for the bus to NC. In exchange, he fix some shit in her house.

In NC Kara is in her depressed mood that becomes worse, because sometimes she hears Mon’s hearbeat *sad violin music*

Mon is proceeding with his investigation but sometimes can’t help himself and watches her from some afar. So yeah, she really hears his hearbeat. Oh the ANGST.

He contacts… Lobotomizer (when I was developing this story I still didn’t mind her….). He explains her everything, shows her his mighty naked back and she promises making the device.

Then he is caught by *the drums* yes, you guessed right! Sal his pal, who is a Dxamite who survived the invasion (all his other friends-soldiers breathed too many lead and died) but was sucked by the same portal as Mon.

He is also *more drums* the guard who saved Mon on Daxam and yes! He wants revenge! Cold ass revenge! Because he blames Mon for his bro death, his chomik death (hamster on Daxam, Sal calls his Bob), his blah blah *villains bullshit* and will kill and destroy everything Mon’s love. Aka Kara :)

Mon somehow escapes the cage and runs to Kara who sees him for the first time, smiles and… ends dead, stabbed by a kryptonite blade. She dies in Mon’s arms and he blames himself, because I’m a cold bitch without a heart.

He thinks it’s all his fault and goes to Lena who gives him the time travel device. Instead of the future he goes to the past, to Daxam, the morning it is destroyed. He kills himself, because I’m super duper ass cold bitch. His guard tries to save him, but before he kills the Kryptonian, Mon-El stops him and allows the shocked ambassador to escape. Maybe, the guard accidentally shots him. Mon holds the face of his guard in his palms, says it’s the only way and embraces. And then kaboooom, all die.

Kara wakes up in the present, woken up by another nightmare, when she sees a strange random Daxamite guy who looks a little familiar but she can’t recall him.

Then Sal, who was sleeping beside her, because I’m a cruel horrible human being, wakes up, asks if it was a nightmare and they cuddle and come back to sleep, but Kara is still weirded out.

There is an implication Sal remembers the other timeline and everything what has happened.

THE END

Joking, I was thinking about part two, where Sal tries to prevent Kara from restoring her memories and shit happens, but because the power of love!, she does and then tries to save Mon-El. Not necessarily she would succeed because I really wanted to make this story horrible :P

Soooo, karamel fic writers! Do you have abandoned fic ideas? Care to share?!

Also, @raisedbyfandomwolves I’m challenging you to share your idea. MUHAHAAHH!

[taehyungsgrowl]

SFW Alphabet for Nate

I think I did it wrong last time bc I was waiting for people to send me letters when I was just supposed to go down the list. But I’m a dummy so disregard half of what I say.

i hope you guys like them and thank you virgo anon for the input w these 🥺i love our baby 🥺

Here we go:

A- Activity (What is their favorite activity to do with you.)

-- i think he likes doing new things w you. and i know that sounds cliche BUT hear me out. duncan is a bit of a home body 🥺loves to be curled up w reader sharing kissies and cuddling. nate enjoys that too but i think trying new adventures w you is his favorite. i can see him being the type to like hiking dates!! (also lets not forget the tik tok videos you guys make together )

B- Beginnings (How do they act in the beginning of a relationship)

-- considering the beginning did start off as something kinda casual between him and reader, he kept it as such. but he’s such a natural charmer that even when he’s not trying, he just comes across as super sweet. they’d finish hooking up and he’d offer her to stay over or get them food (not bc he felt like he needed to but it’s just the kinda guy he is) i think he probably let his goofy side out right at the beginning as well. its what helped y/n open up to him and feel at ease w him 🥺

C- Communication (Are they good communicators? How do they normally talk about their problems or solve issues)

-- big sigh. nate? was the KING of communication!! hell! he was able to talk to duncan (who ISNT the best at communicating) when they weren’t even friends and helped him talk to dumb!reader. plus he’d always been open about his feelings. told y/n right away when he knew he was in love. (i only say he WAS bc he should have told y/n he was struggling before he ended up in the hospital 🥺)

D- Drunk (What are they like when they’re drunk)

-- koala bear cuddly drunk!! not just between him and reader! but he will love on anyone! (omg.. you know dunc was a little 😳when drunk!bro!nate started hugging him... hiding his face in duncs neck... telling he smells good... telling him how much he loves him... bros 👯‍♂️)

E- Emergency (How are they in emergency situations? You get hurt, they get hurt, someone is dying etc..)

— oh god. nate is the type to keep cool and collected in an emergency - even if he were the one having an emergency 🥺 like if reader would’ve been w him during his car accident, she would have been worried sick over him and he’d just be like, “hey, look at me. i’m okay, yeah? a lot stronger than i look, babe.” even if it hurt like hell because he doesn’t wanna worry her. if you were in an emergency or got hurt, he’d go into sexy doctor mode. “tell me where it hurts.” squeezing your hand to reassure you, “i got you.” also kissies where it hurts 🥺 and he’s such a good listener too wow we have no choice but to simp.

F- Free Spot (I’ll give you any headcanon I come up with)

-- i’m just gonna share one head canon that virgo anon tossed at me that really made me 🥺 baby nate 🥺 and how when he was younger he was always a nice boy 🥺 but wasnt the popular or “hot” one until he grew into himself in college 🥺 when he got maxie and it helped him manage his stress enough to be able to make connections 🥺y’all when she said that it made me heart 🥺 my sweet boy

G- Gifts (What kind of gifts do they give? What kind of gifts do they get?)

-- i think his gifts are rarely “over the top” but !! they’re simple and personalized!!! like a lil necklace w his initials / name 🥺or maybe he has someone make a picture of you two into an animation? like have someone draw you guys (do u know what im talking about?) as far as gifts for him, he enjoys like “interactive gifts” like sending him on a lil scavenger hunt (nate loves setting them up for you too 🥺) but if you set one up for HIM? god! he’d love you!

H- Hugs (How do they show affection/cuddle)

-- nate loves! loves! to give forehead kissies (not just because he’s tall fjhsjh) and being hugged (or picked up) in his strong arms!! loves it!! he loves being the big spoon 🥺i love him. 

I- Irritation (What is something that irritates them? How do they show their irritation?)

-- that reader continues to choose duncan over him fkjsvsfkv he wears his heart on his sleeve so i think when nate is upset or irritated... you know. 

J- Jackpot (How would they spend their winnings if they won the lottery?)

-- does nate have more $ than the shepherds? debatable. but he isn’t as... flashy w his money as duncan is. he’s a little more down to earth if that makes sense. BUT thats besides the point. he’d probably donate a lot to a charity of his choice than take you on a little get away. maybe a cross country road trip 🥺 or off to an island getaway. he’s flexible. 

K- Kryptonite (What is their ultimate weakness?)

-- virgo anon made me 🥺when we were talking about this bc nate would do anything for the people he loves and 🥺that gets him hurt. especially when he feels like those people dont love him in the way he does them 🥺

L- Laughter (What makes them laugh?)

-- clown!! nate is the guy that always keeps you laughing 🥺and most times he cant even contain his own laughter omg i will cry im in love with one man

M- Morning ( How do they wake up in the morning? Are they a morning person or a morning grouch?)

-- he’s a morning person 🥺 likes to start off his morning with a run and protein shake SMH fitness KING. 

N- Needy (When do they feel particularly needy? How do they show it?)

-- he’s so used to being the one who’s needed 🥺 it takes him a while to be comfy being vulnerable and needy. idk if there’s anything in particular that sets him off to be like this - but i’d like to think it happens at random. like youre on the couch and he just nuzzles his face on your tummy for you to pet his hair. he demonstrates it by wanting to be close to you 🥺

O- Oasis (Where is their happy place? Where would they go if they didn’t have anything holding them back?)

-- i think he’d be the kinda guy that enjoys the sun (not just bc he looks hot, shirtless on a beach) but yes. somewhere nice and sunny where he could have maxie w him 🥺if he could stay on the beach where he started falling for dumb!reader (with her) for ever he would 🥺

P- Pain (How do they handle pain? How do they handle when you are in pain?)

-- emotional or physical? jfgksjdgsdk but no i think if he’s well regulated, he can handle pain well - it’s when he’s not that it’s a problem (w emotional pain) he stops taking care of himself the way he should and really spirals into his head a lot you know 🥺i think he can handle others being in pain better than himself bc he loves a lot and its easier to focus his attention on trying to fix things for them (like we said his biggest weakness is doing too much for those he loves)

Q- Quote (What’s a quote that fits them and your relationship)

-- “loving is easy” fjskfsf not to be too corny but 🥺being w nate was easy... always on the same page.. and made her feel good. 🥺

R- Reunion (How do they celebrate seeing you after a long time of being apart)

-- lots!!! of kissies!! picking you up!! holding you close!!! physical touch is pretty high on his love language list i think 🥺(i think quality time or acts of service might be his top two though) 

S- Stress (What stresses them out? How do deal with stress and how do they relieve it?)

-- i generally think duncan is more of a control freak than nate, but i do think to some extent, they’re similar that when things feel out of their control, it really stresses them out. i think it manifests at different times. i think for duncan its more trivial things whereas w nate, if he feels like he could be doing something to “fix” something and he cant do anything it freaks him out. hes a healer, you know. i think working out is a big stress reliever for him 🥺my strong baby!! that and goofing off w reader 🥺

T- Terror (What are they afraid of?)

-- this kinda ties into his weakness (and could be amplified by his younger years) but he’s afraid of not really being enough for those he loves. especially if he was teased as a kid 🥺maybe thats why in a lot of his nightmares the theme of abandonment appears a lot 🥺i made myself SAD 🥺

U- Unique (What is a quirk that is unique to them?)

-- i asked virgo anon for help on this one 🥺and i love her so much 🥺 nate tugs on his hair when he’s nervous 🥺 he gets a lil annoyed after he buzzes it off and doesnt have much to pull on 🥺he likes to hold hands when spooning. loves to sing along to disney movies (but lets be honest, he’s the real prince KING)

V- Violence (Do they fight a lot? Are they a good fighter? What is their fighting style?)

-- well... idk if it’s fair to say he fights a lot because he tries not to resort to that - especially grad school nate. mostly because he knows he’s good at fighting. omfg... boxer!nate.... may have all my rights. and he doesn’t really wanna hurt anyone. BUT if needed!!! he will throw down. (ex. when dunc wouldnt let y/n leave the house. and then attacked him!! nate had to stand his ground 😌

W- Wow (What do you do that really surprises them? What do you do that they really like?)

-- idk i think nate was probably really surprised when reader gave him that second chance at friendship in the bathroom 🥺didnt think she would. on a lighter note, surprising him w fresh cooked meals always make him 🥺because... he’s trying but hasnt mastered the cooking thing yet.

X- (Explicit headcanon. For all you degenerates)

-- he’s uhh packing 😳and it hits all the right spots, you know 😳omfg and lets not forget the dickscussion we had about his head game being stronger than duncans 😌

Y- Yucky (Is there something that grosses them out so badly that they can’t deal with it?)

-- i wasnt sure what really grossed out medical professionals (if anything djsfs) but we kinda head canon for him to be into family / pediatric medicine so anything w LOTS of blood loss probably freaks him out 

Z- ZZZ’s (What are their sleeping habits? Both with and without you)

-- my baby. nate has really bad night terrors especially on bad(tm) days. it usually helps to have someone w him to be able to keep him calm when he wakes up 🥺if its not y/n you can bet maxie will be there for tons of kissies. he’s a sleep talker 🥺and when sleeping w you he loves being big spoon 🥺and when he’s alone, he kinda sleeps curled up and w a lot of pillows. comfort KING

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x08 - Say It Ain't So

EPISODE SUMMARY:

JAMIE CLAYTON GUEST STARS — Despite promising Liz (Jeanine Mason) that he’ll take things easy with his new heart, Max (Nathan Dean) sets out to find Cameron after learning that she’s gone missing. Michael (Michael Vlamis) grows concerned about Maria (Heather Hemmens) after a surprising discovery about her family history leaves her vulnerable. Elsewhere, ready to move on, Alex (Tyler Blackburn) goes on a date with Forrest (guest star Christian Antidormi), and Rosa (Amber Midthunder) makes a decision about her future. Rachel Raimist directed the episode written by Eva McKenna & Christopher Hollier (#208). Original airdate 5/4/2020. 

DETAILS:

Rosa's secret identity:

"...Cousin Rosalinda from Arizona. My mom married a minor league baseball player, but when he got relocated to a team in Florida…"

"Okay, you know what, let's just go with, they're dead."

This is a Twilight reference.

Rosa about the Mean Girl's art in the cave:

"That reminds me of Stephen Powers before he sold out."

Stephen Powers is a former street artist who went commercial. Some examples of his older work here:

Other examples of his newer, more commercial work here:

By the way, speaking of the cave:

And this is some fabulous visual storytelling right here:

Max is working at the Wild Pony. Temporarily, of course.

"Turns out debt collectors don't care if you've been half dead in a glowing pod for a few months."

So much for the headcanon that Max "I've been driving the same car since high school and am a homeowner before 30" Evans is good with his money. 😆 Debt collectors don't show up that fast… not that I know from experience or anything.  😳 *backs slowly away*

Iris refers to the cave as the go to hang spot for all the artsy weirdos. So it isn't like it was specifically Rosa's cave/hidden spot.

It's the first time we've seen this particular cave other than in 2008 flashbacks.

Iris Sanchez & Rosa Ortecho. Flower, Mexican family name. 😭 The hint is there!

Also 👀 from:

The iris earned its name from the ancient Greek Goddess Iris, a messenger to the gods who was thought to use the rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth...these flowers were named to honor the Rainbow Goddess and bring favor upon the earth.

Mimi made Maria take back the necklace.

"She said that it was too late for her and that I needed it more."

Michael has seen the necklace before, but he didn't know what the flower was when he fixed the clasp and returned it to her in 1x10.  It was 1x11 when they learned of the existence of the anti alien pollen. Michael reminds us:

"I know this flower.  Its pollen has a paralytic effect on alien abilities."

Once Maria takes it off, she can name every card Michael pulls from the deck.

Maria lists off a bunch of necklace facts from past episodes that fandom has previously noted...

Her powers were heightened when Michael had the necklace in 1x10. 

She wasn't wearing it when Noah invaded her at the gala.

And she wasn't wearing it at Woman As Warrior in 2x02 when she sensed that Isobel was pregnant.

"Kyle said you aren't an alien."

Fact. Kyle did say that.  It doesn't mean that it's a fact that Maria doesn't have alien DNA in her though.

Kyle determined that her blood doesn't carry the alien protein that's in the Pod Squad and Rosa. He is making an assumption that the protein is tied to being an alien.

He said he ran other tests, but the results would take longer to come in. 

Also, just a personal theory, what else do Rosa and the Pod Squad (and Noah) all have in common? They all spent significant time marinating in a pod full of goo. Rosa (10 years), Pod Squad (at least 50 years), Noah (60 years). Kyle has not studied any samples of alien biology from an alien who didn't spend time in pod goo. It's possible the protein is related to the pod goo, moreso than the alien biology. Again, just speculation on my part.

Maria confirms that her mom started getting sick when she was 18, just after she passed the necklace on to Maria.

"If this prevents you from having more episodes, it probably stops the neurodegeneration process too. It's not kryptonite, Maria. This is preventative medicine. Keep it on."

In 2x06 it was established that in addition to Sanders' place being a junkyard and a mechanic/auto shop, they also do tow truck service.  Now that comes into play again as Michael was hired to bring Cam's car back to Roswell for the investigation into her disappearance.  He brought it to the junk yard first though to give Max and Liz an hour to check the car for clues before the sheriff's department comes to collect it.

Max is smart too, in his own way. He quickly identified that "Agent Powell" was driving a rental car and that her gun wasn't government issue. 

However, it's only when he sees her tattoo (which Cam told him about in 1x07) that he confirms that she's actually Charlie Cameron!

(10 points to fandom!)

Max & Liz's conversation with Charlie is mostly just reminding us what we know about Charlie and Jenna's relationship. 

Liz indicates that Jenna had been looking for Charlie for months.  Charlie responds that she didn't want to be found (both things we learned in 2x04 through Cam's discussion with Jesse Manes.

Max indicates that Jenna thought that Charlie hated her, a call back to us first learning about Charlie and the matching tattoos in 1x07.

"I worked on a controversial project a while back. A lot of dangerous people want to know what I know."

(Again, stuff we learned in 2x04).

They learn through Cam's text history that she was looking for Jesse Manes (which we already knew, because...2x04).

"I'm just a guy standing in front of a tourist trap asking a history buff to shoot him with high velocity paint."

Tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie Notting Hill.

"So, you're cool playing war? Doesn't bring anything up?"

"Oh, yeah, my PTSD triggers are a little more complicated. Suffice to say, this war zone is the only place that my family actually got along when I was a kid."

"Yeah, some of my old platoon buddies actually play in leagues."

"I didn't know that you served."

"Yeah I wouldn't go bragging about it to a guy with a Purple Heart. I might have googled you."

New information… both that Forrest served, that he looked into Alex (which could be innocent OR sketchy…).

And of course this is the first open discussion about Alex's PTSD issues.

Cowboys versus aliens paintball… Alex is the cowboy, so Forrest must be the alien.

The call that interrupted Forrest's attempt to kiss Alex was from the hospital. Hence why Alex goes there to see Jesse.

"Look, if I had a little lucky charm that could stop people like Noah from messing with me, I would have that surgically implanted into my décolletage."

Have to admit, I wasn't sure what décolletage meant, so in case anyone else isn't familiar: 

"These abilities are a part of me. I'm not gonna just throw away the chance to learn about who I am. That make sense to you?"

"Yeah, actually, it does."

"You've gotten stronger this year, right?  Can you teach me to train? Learn how to control it all?"

"Look, it took a lot of practice before I could do anything without puking and guzzling acetone to kill the pain.  And you can't practice, because according to Kyle, every time you do it eats your brain."

"Look, I'll stop before it goes that far, okay? I know the signs. Besides, if you help me, maybe I can help you. There must be something that you want to know about your future."

"What about my past?"

Max meeting with Jesse at the Crashdown. This is super interesting because it's the first time Max has sat down, face to face, with a hostile human who knows he's an alien. 

"My uncle used to bring me here. That was back when it catered to a more civil clientele. People who actually respected the history of this town."

This is likely foreshadowing what's to come next week, based on the promo pics released.

Again, similar to the scene with Charlie at the junkyard, much of this exchange between Max and Jesse is just reminding us of stuff we learned in 1x04.

"The last time I saw her she came to me with questions about her sister.  And I told her that the people most interested in Charlie's device were a black ops group based out of Los Alamos. They're called Deep Sky. This is their logo. Paramilitary. And I told Jenna that what she was getting into was gonna be dangerous. But apparently she didn't listen.

Note: in case any of you are unaware, in Los Alamos there's a US DOE lab that has a long, sketchy history of weapons development.  Makes perfect since that it's where a paramilitary organization interested in Charlie's research would be based there.

The Deep Sky Logo

I compared this to a number of screenshots of alien symbols (like the ones we saw in Jim Valenti's letters in 1x12) and there were no matches.

However, fandom has already noted that the logo matches Trevor's ring in 2x06 (see that episode's details post for the photo).

"Charlie Cameron's mind is a unique specimen. Kind of like you. And there's always someone in the shadows waiting to crack those open."

"What did you do to Jenna?"

"I told her the truth. Which is more than you ever did. You're kind of a wolf in sheep's clothing, aren't you?"

"And what are you? Do you feel like a hero? All those people you tortured, all those people you killed. Turns out none of them were an enemy.  They were refugees. So you're not just a murderer, you're a failure."

"Yeah, I know. I am. But I tell you, something shifted in my brain when I had the stroke.  All the hate's gone out of me. All the fight. Caulfield is over and my son Flint has been reassigned. Look at me. I can barely walk."

Liz and Charlie in the car:

"Waitressing's really got to blow when you've grown a fully functioning heart muscle in a lab.  Or are you not the same Elizabeth Ortecho who co-authored a 2013 paper on cellular reprogramming? Some people build model trains; I do my homework.  Your boyfriend seems more like the train type."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We've discovered new worlds and changed the course of mankind from a microscope. Should I go Netflix and chill with my boyfriend or stay in the lab, architecting the future?"

"No offense, but if it's true that you've been in prison and in hiding, it does not seem like you've seen much of the inside of a lab either."

"I went too far.  I thought I was building something with real value. The thing is, anything that has the potential to create real change, it scares people. And anything that scares people is inherently dangerous no matter what your intention is."

"You could start over. Get a new identity, work at a research university."

"I've done extraordinary things. Everything ordinary is ruined now."

More exposition that we already know as Max catches Charlie and Liz up on what he learns from Jesse.

"He said Cam is headed to Los Alamos to investigate a group called Deep Sky. Does that mean anything to you?"

"No. Let me reach out to some of my military contacts, do some recon. Give me a day, we'll go from there."

Liz and Michael, in the lab, on The Science:

"I'm looking for the sample of yellow pollen."

"The stuff I swept off the floor after throwing it at Noah? I don't know. I didn't see it while we were packing up."

"Well it was here a few months back.  Did I miss an experiment where it grew legs and a fondness for the outdoors?"

"Could have been accidentally thrown away. Sample was too oxidized to be of much use, and I've been trying to get my hands on fresh flowers, but it's impossible. I think they might be extinct. Why are you freaking out?"

"Because I have a math problem. There's only one flower in Maria's necklace, but there are two DeLuca women and apparently the flower is the key to preventing their illness. This is everything from the Caulfield drives and the experiments done on Maria's grandmother. A lot of it was lost in a lab fire in the '80s, but…"

"I'll take a look."

(Aside… 👀 Lab fire in the '80s. I have a feeling that's more foreshadowing.)

"I just want you to see if anything done could be undone. I don't want you to, like, Dr. Frankenstein it. The experiments were very bad."

"My days as an alien scientist are officially over."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"'Cause it's hard not to think about the far-reaching implications of this kind of research. You don't get sick on this planet. If I could figure out why, I could eradicate all illness."

"But you can't. Because that would expose us."

"Which I would obviously never do. It's over."

Arturo's text to Liz:

Have you seen our little mouse?

"Rosalinda" is late for her first shift.

Isobel and Maria go to Michael's trailer and Isobel shows Maria the newspaper clip of Michael's mom to try to trigger a vision.

"It's not working. And I don't feel great going through this stuff without Michael knowing."

"Why not? One day this palace might all be yours."

"It's not working.  I have a business to run, and you need to go Instagram something."

"Says the social media revitalizer. Listen, word to the wise, every time Max saw Liz in a skirt and tried not to pop a bulb, he wound up setting off a fire alarm. Everytime I push myself too hard, I miss time, or wind up accidentally realizing that my mom still thinks about her ex-boyfriend Rocco, like, in vivid detail."

"Okay, where are you going with this?"

"Effort doesn't equal control. So if you want to do this you're gonna have to embrace your inner ice queen and let it go."

"I'm not great at letting things go."

"Yeah, I know.  That's hard…"

Maria's vision:

Triggered by a t-shirt hanging in the trailer.

Louise is hanging laundry

Walt runs up to her and gives her a little windmill with her name on it. (Initially I thought her name was pressed or punched into the metal, but on second viewing, it looks like it might be puff paint or something similar.)

Walt runs off to find Nora and Louise goes back to hanging laundry.

After the vision Maria's nose starts bleeding.

Max goes after Charlie to stop her from turning herself in.

I wonder if his tire screeching action guy driving is supposed to be emphasizing to the audience that he's not being as cautious as he should be? 

Deep Sky said that if Charlie "...wasn't at Sutter's grain depot by 11pm, that they would torture (Cam) to death."

Charlie heard on the call:

A train rolling by

A demonic laugh

And somehow that's enough for Max to magically know exactly where Cam is.

Alex and Jesse at the hospital:

"Hey, they said that you mixed whiskey with your medications.  That's not like you."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I mean, you're my father. I can't seem to shake you."

"Yeah. I failed."

"Yes. But in what way specifically?"

"Uncle Tripp. I let him down. I never could figure out what he needed of me. And tonight I went to the bunker.  And I keep trying to crack the code."

"Liz said that you spoke to Max Evans. She said that you were half decent to him. Is that what this is about?"

"One of them killed Tripp, you know."

"An alien? Yeah. Then he hunted them. He dragged them to a torture chamber. I'm not surprised one of them…" 

Jesse slams his cane.

"He was the best man I ever knew.

Jesse tries to stand and falls into Alex, then continues to walk away.

The location that Deep Sky is holding Cam looks like a rodeo or horse arena or racetrack with a big grandstand.

There are nearby train tracks, and a warehouse where a mechanic repairs old carnival rides.

As Max and Charlie are scoping out the area you can hear both sounds softly in the background.

The sniper was watching and shooting at them from the grandstand.

Charlie is shot in the leg.

"Let me go get her."

"No. Deep Sky wants me alive. Your brain is worth considerably less to them which means it'll be splattered all over the dirt."

(Oh the irony...confirming that Charlie doesn't know that Max is an alien.)

"If anything goes wrong, call Liz. No doctors."

Max does shoot the sniper!

And then uses his powers to knock out the power (and instantly feeling it in his heart when he starts to use his powers!!!!!!) which, as @angsty-aliens very eloquently pointed out, is absurd because there was a big red lever that would have done the same thing. *facepalm*

Cam on her kidnapping:

"The last thing I remember is this weird sound. It made the hairs on my arm stand up. And this bright light, and the pain in the back of my neck like you wouldn't believe."

Cam's burn is fractals.  Like Liz's burn from Max's powers in 1x03. Top is Liz's fresh burn in 1x03, bottom is Cam's not-so-fresh burn in 2x08. Keep in mind, we don't know how long Cam was missing for.

Rosa and Iris at the "art show".

"So you said you're from Roswell?"

"Oh, I was from Roswell.  I got out and went to art school as soon as I graduated. I work for an artist now. I help her run her gallery. Yeah, I used to want to be a painter, but then I realized I loved curating art way more than I ever loved making it."

👀 I wonder what this says about Rosa's internal motivation. If Iris is the life she wishes that she had, does she not want to be a painter? Or is that her internal insecurity rearing its head.  Like, she can't even dream about that possibility because it's what she really wants above all else.  Which is why Iris then motivates her to paint and prove to her inner self that she is an artist? 

Speaking of which, here's Rosa's painting from the episode. Mucho gracias to @rosaortecho for giffing it for me since it wasn't cap-able in a single shot.

Iris's assessment of Rosa's art:

"This piece is you outrunning your demons. This is amazing. That's what you have to do.  You have to capture them and rattle the cage.  This is art. This is what you're meant to do, Rosa!"

Rosa's hallucination starts to fall apart as they dance.  She starts coughing and having trouble breathing.

"Your star sign's just out of whack."

Play on lyrics from God of Wine by Third Eye Blind, which was heavily referenced in 1x02. 

The direct quote is "your star sign's out of whack" and the next lyric is "a fraudulent zodiac"

Which, of course, is what Rosa had written on her hand before she died in 2008 and is a reference to Ophiuchus, which was Noah's zodiac obsession.

And then Liz finds her overdosing in the cave. 

The coughing in Rosa's hallucination was from smoke inhalation.  Because while passed out she started a fire with her powers.

Feels like a good time to point out that it's the same cave that she died in back in 2008, and she would have died there again if Liz hadn't found her. 😭

At the hospital Rosa tells Liz that she wants to go to rehab, but she knows she can't since she can't control her powers. 

Liz gives her Maria's necklace to borrow since it will suppress her powers and allow her to go to rehab.

Alex and Forrest at the Wild Pony:

"I still have my dad's voice in my head telling me that being seen with a man in public is an embarrassment. To my name and my uniform."

"Well, there's nothing like a dad voice to mess up a perfectly good date."

"It's also just that...I mean, Roswell's so conservative. This bar is filled with cowboys. If you want to go someplace private…"

"Look, I like you. But I don't want to climb into somebody else's closet."

"I cannot tell you how badly I want to be done with this frickin' closet."

"But you're not. And that's okay. Really. Listen, if that voice in your head ever shuts up, give me a call. Because between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes."

Charlie took off and left a note for Jenna. According to Jenna it says she's gonna disappear again and not to look for her.

Arturo is taking Rosa to a rehab center that Kyle set her up with "a few hours away".

Max tells Liz "let's go home." So… did she move in with him??

Liz says no though.  She says she has to open the diner and cry alone.  But instead she goes to the secret lab.  

Both Max and Liz were evading the truth a little bit here.  Liz didn't tell Max that she wanted to go to the secret lab.  Max didn't tell Liz that his heart did wonk out after using his powers and he did overdo it going after Cam. Bad Echo!!

Liz goes back to packing the secret lab up initially, but then her eyes fall into the Caulfield folders, and she stops. 

She unpacks her stolen equipment (genetic sequencer?), puts on her lab coat, and sits down to start reading the file.

Isobel brings Michael beer as a peace offering, since she's coming to admit that she helped Maria trigger a vision.  She thinks Michael will be mad, but he isn't because he and Maria already worked it out.

So Isobel tells him about the vision and seeing Louise, and specifically about Walt giving Louise the windmill. 

Michael immediately reacts, goes to a shelf, and grabs a similar windmill.

Turns out Walt is Sanders.  He pulls up in his car and Michael immediately confronts Sanders.

"It was you. You're Walt. You're the little boy in the photo.  You knew my mother."

And Sanders nods.

10 more points to fandom.

Max goes to Charlie's hotel to confront her about turning herself in to Deep Sky.

The windmill in both scenes. Until I put this together I didn't think they were the same one (because Louise's name isn't on Michael's. But other details (like the word weight on one of the legs) are the same.

"You think Deep Sky needs to have Jenna by the throat to kill her? Okay, the only way that I can protect her is from the inside."

Then the "abduction scene" happens.

It mirrors what happened to Jenna in 2x04, only to Max and Charlie.

MUSIC:

1.  Hole "Celebrity Skin"

2.  Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real "Die Alone"

3.  Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

4.  Marc Danzeisen "Some Things Last Forever"

5.  Joey Sykes "Sign Of The Times"

6.  I AM ORFA "Like That Look"

7.  Danny Ayer "Set Us Free"

8.  Hamish Anderson "Trouble"

9.  OMC "How Bizarre"

10.  Muscadine Bloodline "Movin' On"

11.  Little May "Hide"

[aj-the-satyr]

All the Questions......

So Tag games...... Used to do ‘em a lot then kinda fell off writing for a while and then it got quiet. Well now I got tagged in 3 of those 11/11/11 things. You know the ones answer 11 questions, ask 11 more to the 11 people you tag. Well I’m not going to tag anyone other than the 3 people asking @writersblockandapotoftea @carrotgirl-1 and @rosewinterborn and say thankyou for doing so. So here goes..... the goat tries to get through all 33 questions.

1) Do you hide any secrets in your books that only a few people will find?

Hmm.... I suppose that I have a habit of making the names of both things and characters have deeper meanings. Like Grigory Zmeya, his last name means snake and he is a snake shifter type person. So stuff like that.

2) If you could ask one successful author three questions about their writing, writing process or books what would they be?

Not sure about this. I’ve read interviews with many authors where they have dispensed their advice and advice is not a one size fits all thing but I would lie to ask more personal things like favorite characters, Least favorite scene to write and most surprising side character. Stuff like that.

3) Do you have a library membership?

Nope.

4) Ebooks, yay or nay?

Used them and they are fine but I am the old school like to have the physical book in my hands kinda goat.

5) What feeling do you want your readers to get from what you write?

Wow, deep question. Enjoyment? Other than that I’d like them to have feelings for different characters, to pick favorites, to hate some and love some. I suppose I’d like my characters to be memorable but I will settle for the “That was Good” feeling after reading, even if nothing gets carried with them.

6) What time of day are you most productive?

Considering how many times I’ve written my snippets after 10pm and into the wee hours of the morning, I’d say then.

7) What is your writing Kryptonite?

Myself really. There are times I just get conflicted about my writing and rather than just let it flow and let the characters lead I will find myself deleting things and starting over many times. I’m trying to do that less but it’s hard sometimes to just let go and see what happens at the keyboard.

8) Which scenes are your favorite to write?

Huh....... I’m a dialogue heavy writer trying to get more description into my scenes so I favor just talking but am trying to change that a little.

9) What comes first in your development/outlining process plot or characters?

Well considering I don’t outline anymore (Used to waaaaay back) It would have to be characters. Make the characters and pop them in a setting. Plot will happen, hopefully.

10) What is your favorite novel to film/TV adaptadion?

Comic books count right? I love the Constantine TV show. Shame it got cancelled, love the fact they brought the character back for Legends of Tomorrow and the fact he might be getting his own show again is awesome. Love Constantine.

11) Do you think yourself as more of an artist or entertainer?

Neither really. Not something I’ve ever thought about, since you are asking me to think about it...... entertainer??

Right onto the second set of questions gonna add a read more break here to avoid taking up huge chunks of Tumblr real estate and for those people that don’t really care what this old goat has to say

12) Play fuck, marry, kill with Gandalf, Aragon and Arwen.

Er........ Kill Gandalf.... no wait he’ll come back for revenge..... Kill Aragon..... man that would be hard to do..... Kill Arwen then? But I wanted to marry her.......... Man...... Kill Aragon with Gandalf’s help, fuck Gandalf as payment and then go off to marry Arwen. Problem solved.

13) If you had to set fire to a famous building, which one would you set alight?

The Vatican?

14) If you could bring someone back from the dead who would it be?

It would be Sandra, a friend I made for a brief time on the internet who I RP’d with and had a good rapport with. She died of cancer at 20 I think, it’s hard to think about. I do always remember that I talked to her through her brother in her final days and managed to make her smile, something her brother told me she hadn’t done for weeks. Crying typing this. Yeah. Fuck yeah I’d bring her back and let her live her life. Fuck Cancer.

15) Which fictional Universe would you go into?

Star Trek. No need for money, could sit at a cafe and write all day. Great.

16) Where would you go if the world ended?

Hell. Oh wait that’s not what you were asking. Er...... nowhere. No point if it’s all gone is there? I’d stay here and still be a loner. Wow..... fun goat answers.

17) What’s you alignment?

Chaotic Neutral.

18) Lovecraft or Shelly?

Er....... as much as I love Cosmic Horror Mary Shelly was one of the most badass goths there has been. Plus the whole creating the sci-fi genre as a fuck you to Lord Byron. She is amazing and doesn’t get enough respect.

19) What’s the weirdest food you have eaten?

Sea Urchin or deep fried shrimp heads not sure which I think was weirder.

20) How do you want to die?

Die? I’m immortal. Or is that immoral? One of those.

21) Who is your least favorite character to write?

Probably The Professor since he’s a homophobic bigot who killed his own son’s boyfriend (Though he claims that was merely an accidental oversight of his grander plan) since he is not a very nice character at all. Makes my skin crawl.

22) What’s your favourite fairy tale?

Can’t say that I really have one. None of them resonate anymore, neither the grimdark originals or the fluffed up modern takes. I do however enjoy the book Dragon’s Bait by VIvian Vande Velde which is about a 15yr old girl who is put out as a sacrifice to a Dragon and ends up allying with the dragon and seeking revenge.

One more set. Almost there with the goat interrogation.

23) When did you know you wanted to be a writer?

Probably in University where I started writing a little something called “Space Gerbils” and was sending it out via email to about a dozen internet friends. They were hooked, I thought it was garbage but voila! The spark ignited. Heavily got into tabletop RPGs at the same time so that probably helped my desire for storytelling.

24) What book/Book series have you always meant to read but have not yet?

The Long Earth series by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Baxter. I have a boxed set of them all but I just haven’t cracked the cover yet.

25) Who’s you favourite writer? 

Published? Either Sir Terry Pratchett or Eoin Colfer. But a special shoutout goes to @yuutfa for Caster. They are a wonderful storyteller and got many an emotion from me while I was reading an early draft.

26) What was your favourite book as a child?

It is one that sits on my shelf this very moment. It is called “Science Fantasy Stories” and is a collection of short stories that I read many times over as a child, back when I would consume a book a day almost.

27) Favorite music to work to?

Soundcloud generally has my back but it does sometimes throw up the odd track that makes me question if its algorithm has developed some sort of twisted intelligence Black Mirror style.

28) Hogwarts House?

Ah..... this question. I’ve read the books, saw a couple of the movies (Did not like the movies) and enjoyed every step of the way. I bought my first Harry Potter books when they were selling the first 3 as a set so I jumped in to see what the fuss was about. Never once have I thought about what House I would be in. Never. So Imma gonna say Slytherin.

29) Hobbies?

Writing?? Generally I play vidja games. Current faves being Monster Hunter World (PC), Endless Legend (PC) and Crash team racing nitro fueled (PS4) and I also daydream scenes with my characters in them. Trying to get back into reading regularly again.

30) Where do you draw Inspiration from?

Everywhere I guess. From random conversations to ideas had after playing games, watching TV or reading books. Sometimes I’m not sure where the inspiration comes from but I am just trying to let myself go at those moments, run with it. Who cares if The Simpsons already did it? Truly new ideas aren’t new anyway. (Except maybe for theoretical physics, that shit is bananas) I mean one of my characters basically declared themselves to be a God (At least in my head) after I read an article on Retrocausality. Inspiration can come from anywhere. Use it!

31) What do you consider your aesthetic to be?

Look I can barely spell that word you want me to have one as well?

32) Favorite mythology?

Favorite mythology of AJ the Satyr................

33) What do you think influences your work the most?

My co author?? But seriously working things out with them has been very helpful but also there’s this little writing discord that I’m part of that is really welcoming and a great source of inspiration and ideas. But all in all I think Neil Gaiman influences me the most when he answered a question about how he does it. He told the person asking that you just write everything down that happens in the first draft and then when you go back and rewrite you make it look like you knew what you were doing all along.

Right. One Goat, 33 Questions. And I won! Not tagging anyone else but I want this to get me going on these tag games. I can’t just hide in the dark corners of Tumblr anymore. I must face the light! Has @notanotherhour done this yet??

[comicgirl08]

Supergirl recap: Red Daughter tries to turn Kara into Dead Daughter

Supergirl’s penultimate episode finds our heroes embarking on different missions, all of which are presumably racing toward the same end goal in next week’s finale.

Let’s start with Lena, who’s such a boss that she bought her mother’s privately owned prison so Lillian could work on extracting Harun-El from James. To ensure her compliance, Lena poisons her and gives her a day to earn the antidote. She also slaps a baby Truth Seeker on her mother’s arm.

“Couldn’t you just waterboard me like a normal person?” Lillian asks, but she also confesses that she paid $14,000 to make Lena’s middle-school boyfriend scram and she tells her daughter that she loves her. Aww! Happy Mother’s Day!

Lena also tracks down Lockwood to let him know that President Baker, and therefore he himself, is working for Lex. Lockwood, who’s got Harun-El-induced red eyes and shedding hair, isn’t pleased by this news and goes tearing off. James and Lena follow.

Before he confronts Otis, Lockwood injects himself with more Harun-El, which is certainly a choice. Dumb-dumb Otis, tucked away in a safe house with video games and what looks like a sweet plate of donut holes, confirms that yep, they’re working toward Lex’s goals of money and world domination. “Supervillain, right, I get it,” says a disgusted Lockwood. Then Otis and Lockwood start to fight. James tries to pull them apart but is overcome by his Harun-El, and in the end, Lockwood rips out Otis’s Metallo Kryptonite heart and bolts.

Lena then helps James to the lab, where Lillian injects him with her anti-Harun-El solution. And when she suggests that Lena didn’t have the ovaries to actually poison her, Lena coolly offers her a vial and suggests, “You should drink it.”

Okay, our next group of heroes are Brainy, J’onn, and Nia, who are tasked with finding the aliens from the DEO desert facility. Brainy’s also tasked himself with telling Nia he’s in love with her because he’s a multitasker.

A unicorn keychain gives Dreamer a vision that leads them to an Amertek facility, but J’onn says Brainy’s odds for successfully Wookiee prisoner gag-ing their way in are too risky. But when he flies off to survey the scene and the young’uns spot the keychain girl, they move in on their own, with Brainy’s image inducer making him look like Lockwood.

And let me tell you, friends, what follows is an amazing 60 seconds of television as Sam Witwer delightfully channels Jesse Rath’s Brainy trying to be Lockwood. It’s *chef’s kiss* perfection. And the Children of Liberty bust them immediately, of course, because Ben Lockwood’s a lot of things, but robotic he is not.

Time for a little light torture. At first, Brainy begs them to spare Dreamer, but the harsher the treatment gets, the more affected he is. Then he starts glitching—and I use that word intentionally. As he tells his captors, he’s from a race of synthetic beings who are time and space travelers with ancestral memories. And those ancestors were very bad people: conquerers and collectors. He laughs and cries, and the lights on forehead flicker and flash.

Then he announces that they rebooted him to be more like his emotionless ancestors. “And that was a calamitous mistake,” he warns before he effortlessly takes out a roomful of guards, smoothing his hair, and collecting his Legion ring.

In a voice several shades deeper and more dispassionate than we’ve come to know, he explains to J’onn, who snuck in disguised as Eve, that Nia could be useful to his plans. He enters her cell and kneels in front of her. She’s clearly expecting that love declaration, but instead, he locks her back up and informs her that she’s to walk through the portal with the other aliens. Then she can astral project and they can liberate the camp.

Nia’s not cool with this plan, but Brainy doesn’t care. Then he performs what to my untrained eye looked like the five-point palm exploding heart technique and leaves J’onn to be captured, calculating that this doubles their odds of success.

Dreamer catches sight of Brainy turning his back on her as she’s waiting to be ushered through the portal, and dang, you thought Brainy was cold? You haven’t met Brain the Fifth.

Finally this week, we have Kara, informing Baker’s henchmen that in the U.S., we don’t just black-bag journalists. They sneer that the CatCo servers have been scrubbed, so bye-bye evidence. She easily escapes the humans, but Red Daughter gets the jump on her with the help of some Kryptonite.

As Red Daughter casually screws a silencer onto a gun, Kara, restrained with a Kryptonite chain, begs her to see that they’re the same. Red Daughter disagrees, calling Kara limited and mocking her cheerleader skirt. (She’s just jealous, Kar-Kar!)

As Red Daughter rants about the American Dream being snake oil, Kara reminds her that she’s got 15 years of Kryptonite tolerance on her and escapes out the window with only a bullet wound in the arm.

She heads to J’onn for patching up (prior to his Brainy/Amertek exploits), and she realizes that if Lex knows who she is, Alex is in danger. But J’onn says restoring Alex’s memories could destroy her mind if her sealed-off neural pathways are opened up through his psychic force. The only hope is that she remembers on her own.

Well, how convenient, then, that Alex just had a dream about Kara’s unexplained strength when they were children. Kelly, who’s casually hanging at Alex’s, suggests the adoption trauma led to adopted sister memories, but Alex says it’s the same weird feeling she had during the recent DEO security sweep. I think it’s happening tonight, friends! The remembering is upon us!

Concerned, Supergirl sneaks into the DEO to work with Alex on locating Red Daughter using a satellite scan. When Haley finds them, she immediately believes their story that Baker’s working with Lex, particularly because she has reason to believe that Lex hopes to acquire Project Claymore technology. (Apparently,pp all six of the engineers on the project recently woke up dead.)

When the tracker turns up Red Daughter, Supergirl ditches Alex and finds an apartment filled with her belongings. “Oh, Rao, she’s stalking me,” Supergirl breathes.

She’s studying a photo of Mikhail when Alex comes in, horrified that Red Daughter’s place looks like Kara’s. Alex describes her fear for Kara as feeling like a piece of her heart is out there in the world, on its own without protection. As she cries, Supergirl takes her hand, but the almost-sisterly moment is interrupted when their mother calls to say that Kara’s there with her.

Supergirl freaks and races to Eliza’s, where Red Daughter’s super judgy about all of Kara’s stuff. She insists that Lex goes by “Alex” and says she serves the collective, not individuals. Kara asks about Mikhail, which was a mistake because Red Daughter believes the Americans killed him. She unleashes the exo-suit and the pair fight, with Kara insisting, “Hope, help, and compassion for all. That’s what I stand for.” But Red Daughter refuses to listen to her warning that Lex will turn on her.

While Kara assumes they’ll be evenly matched in the powers department, Red Daughter brags that she’s “evolved” and unleashes a purple lightning punch that … knocks out the daylight, somehow? I don’t quite understand it, but it’s suddenly dark as she pummels Kara into submission just as Alex arrives on her bike.

Kara the hero, of course, refuses to submit, and as Alex watches the power show, she experiences the return of other memories: Kara roasting marshmallows with her laser eyes, making it snow indoors with her cold breath, rescuing her plane in the series premiere, reluctantly accepting Alex’s offer to save her with the memory wipe.

“Kara,” she breathes just as Red Daughter delivers a terrible blow. Alex tries to intervene, but Red Daughter knocks her down, listens to the slowing of Kara’s heart, and flies upward. Come on, did Lex not teach her the double tap? Alex remembers everything now and races over to Kara’s body, screaming, “Kara, you can’t go!” as their mother arrives. Red Daughter watches from the sky until a distant noise summons her.

Desperate, Alex tells the unmoving Kara that there’s sunlight in everything, stuffing grass into her fists and insisting, “Kara, just take it. Take the grass. Please.” Then streaks of light travel through the ground and flow toward Kara, who’s pulling the sunlight from the Earth into her body. It revives her, and her first words to Alex are, “I missed you so much.” Danvers sisters forever!

Then Haley calls Alex with bad news: She found plans for a compact Claymore that could fit into a Lexosuit. And the television gives them worse news: Kaznia invaded while everybody else was busy with all the other stuff, apparently. The president tells the nation that Kaznia was aided by the terrorist Supergirl, and Lex in a Lexosuit singlehanded thwarted their plans and killed her. As proof, the news shows a dead-looking Red Daughter in Lex’s arms.

Snaps of the cape

Questions! I’ve got ‘em! How did the Kaznian invasion slip by such that everybody’s hearing about it for the first time on TV? Who can un-reboot Brainy? Was Red Daughter’s purple lightning what brought down Lena’s plane last week? Who else instinctively screams “Wolverines!” when they see the title “Red Dawn”? Is Red Daughter really Dead Daughter? I mean, she can’t be, right? We need her “Mikhail’s still alive!” redemption arc.

Such fun acting challenges for both Witwer and Rath this week! The former nailed the “Brainy-as-Ben” vibe, and the latter gets to create a whole new approach to his character. I can’t wait to see how this storyline unfolds, but I hope it ends with a lot of groveling for forgiveness from poor Nia.

Are you ready for the finale next week? I am (give us more Lex!), and I’m not (the show’s been so fun this season!). Until then, super-friends…

[silver-tangent]

So I finally got around to watching Batman V Superman. Honest opinion? 3/5...

Get ready for a Tangent review. I have ripped in BvS before but hadn’t actually seen it. I find that to be unprofessional of any nerd philosopher. If you are going to dislike something you need to know what you’re disliking. So I watched it… and before the lovers of the film get too excited, my opinion hasn’t changed. A 3/5 for a superhero movie isn’t quite up to par. Call me stubborn but I want a 7/10 or better.

I did watch the directors cut, because that’s all I had access to, so I don’t know what was removed from the theatrical version, please keep that in mind.

So no restraint on spoilers ahead, here we go…

The movie was pretty great… until Batman fought Superman. Even before that it was falling apart, but that is the kryptonite spear that did it in.

Here’s the thing; it’s okay to establish this as an alternate universe, and get away with a lot of character changes, but if you call it “the expanded universe” and never say “this is it’s own thing, not a cinematic earth 1” you’re going to be judged like it’s earth 1.

Let’s start with Batman: ruthless, dark, and no restraint on killing. He didn’t break his golden rule “no killing with guns” but he did in his dreams. That… I guess that’s okay? But Snyder even said that he took inspiration from the original comics; “Batman DID kill people back in the day.”

Okay… I’ll get back to that at the end.

Batman then blamed Superman for the destruction during Zod, and people were divided, with Bats saying “no he’s evil.”

Superman of course confronts him during a reckless chase against Lexcorp’s smuggling operation, somehow miraculously doesn’t destroy his own tracking device when he PLOWED INTO THE TRUCK! And then Superman says “stop it” and Batman says “YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!”

This all blows up when the hearing held by the… Superman senate? Who I really thought was run by his mom… was blown up. Sabotage.

Batman has had enough, and he basically calls Superman down for a death battle….

Let’s pause here for Supes… framed for murder, and not painted in the best light towards the people but completely innocent…. and feeling terrible for all of the people that get hurt…

But here’s probably my first complaint there; in every Superman movie, Superman is super fast, and basically able to do anything… unless someone has plot armor. Seriously Plot armor is a bigger weakness to Supes than Kryptonite in this movie. He didn’t even try to outrun the bomb, he just stood there in shock, when we’ve seen that he’s faster than a speeding bullet… faster than a speeding bullet; fast enough to go “oh shit a bomb!”

Yet he doesn’t. He also doesn’t grab Lex and SHOW HIM AND THE PHOTOS TO BRUCE WITH HIS SUPER STRENGTH AND SPEED, he immediately caves.

He has super hearing too. There are so many times someone could have whispered; “it’s a trap, don’t go…”

But… the plot… it’s called Batman v Superman. They have to fight.

Well then how about Lois Lane? Well Lois Lane used to be the damsel in distress character back in the 60s, but I’m fairly certain that even pre-crisis Lois had already started to become a feminist icon. She’s tough, she’s capable, she can take care of herself, and she’s the daughter of a military general who taught her how to fight……. and while she has situational awareness in this movie, she is somehow overpowered by two hired convicts, even though she recognized the ambush and called it out… and again by a bony, early twenties Lex Luthor… Before that I forgive, the guy at the beginning had a gun and she was surrounded. You’re probably sensing a theme here, and I will get to it in my closing statement.

So finally we have Lex. Despite all of the hate that Jesse Eisenberg got as Lex, I feel like his Lex was the best performance in the movie! “But he had hair!” I hear you say, “And he was wacky and erratic, not cool and collected!” Ah but Lex Luthor used to have hair, in fact he was a redhead before his hair fell out because of kryptonite induced cancer… back in the 60s… So Lex is a difficult character. We’ve all been spoiled by Michael Rosenbaum’s Lex, and why not? He was Lex for 10 years, but we forget that Lex has been changed over 50 years. The original Lex wasn’t a misunderstood genius who thought himself a savior, he was a land owner, a mad scientist/billionaire who wanted more money. A lot of his schemes were based around land ownership, no joke… Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex is like a combination of Gene Hackman and Kevin Spacey, and in that light he was terrific! He was wacky, but always in control, he played himself as a spoiled foolish child, but he was playing the audience the whole time! But… the question is why? He completely Sherlocked the audience with a twist “I planned all of it from the beginning” moment… yet… he… why did he do this? Why did he want to see Superman and Batman fight? He didn’t know about Darkseid until the end of the movie, he wasn’t trying to prevent that. Did he just want to watch them kill each other? Did he think he was saving the world? Did he just want them both out of the way? His original plan was either to get Superman to kill Batman, or have them kill each other… but… if Superman kills Batman, then what? Will you maintain control of him? How? The point of this made no sense, and what made even less sense was initiating plan B before plan A even failed… did the ship tell him something? That’s the only explanation, but again he was already planning to frame Superman, he already HAD framed Superman once. What was the motive?

Backing up from that; here’s my biggest issue with Lex… it felt like Snyder’s solution to make Lex appear smart was to make everyone else in the movie a complete idiot. That’s a great cop-out but it’s kinda obvious. Batman was looking into Lex, but never suspected a setup? Superman was defeated by Martha being kidnapped, and Lex didn’t even have kryptonite as insurance? Lois figured him out and was damseled IMMEDIATELY? Really it felt like Snyder didn’t know how to write Lex as a genius so he settled for writing Lex as smarter than everyone else…

So we get to the moment when Superman is sent to kill Batman… and Superman says “No you need to listen.”

And Batman says, “I’m a detective and have been doing this for years, so of course I’ll hear you out, what do you have to say?” “F** you I’m Batman” and sets off booby traps…

And Superman says “No listen.”

and Batman thinks he may have some important information, still doesn’t listen, and picks a fight…

And Superman quits trying… for some reason… and batman shoots him with Kryptonite and beats the crap out of him!

Superman starts to get back up! He’s not as powerful, but that’s okay because he still has kryptonite in his system and we watch as the kryptonite wears off and he suddenly has the upper hand… and uses it to talk some sense into batman kicks batman’s ass because that’s what the title is about!

Batman shoots superman with another Kryptonite gas bomb, and superman for some reason hasn’t learned the first time and doesn’t avoid it… maybe he was still a little weak… 

But now Batman has an advantage. He’s a genius. He was testing it the first time, counting the seconds! Now he knows how long the kryptonite lasts… wait… it… it just stays permanent this time… no consistency in how long it works…

and suddenly Batman pulls a spear out of nowhere…

and then the Martha scene, and for some reason even though it’s their job to kill her, they put off killing her to try to kill Batman… because movie…

after that though, I think the last segment is pretty decent. Not the best, but not bad, just a bit forced in the writing…

So what’s my takeaway? Well… a lot of Batflek fans have argued that this Batman is the ORIGINAL Batman, and that’s great! Yet they hate Lex… the thing is that for all it’s faults, it seems like Snyder was trying to make a classic DC film; a 1960s pre-crisis Batman and Superman film but set in the 21st century… and that would be okay I guess? 

But here’s my opinion on that… Batman, Lex, and Lois all changed for a reason. Batman’s was that gun violence was frowned upon and the publishers asked to get rid of guns. Some people want to rebel against that, but this happened before Batman was 5 years old… the truth is that as a character, he developed into the modern Batman, regardless of the reason. As for Lex and Lois? Their original characters aren’t relevant to the modern world. Lex evolved to appeal to the audience and became a Julius Caesar; someone who wants the best for his people but becomes a tyrant to make it happen, and that version of Lex has become the more popular version. Lois became more capable because of the women’s rights movement, and because a damsel in distress who has to be saved every single issue was going to get stale and unmemorable. These character changes are all relevant to who the characters are, and the fact that it was ignored for this movie was in my personal opinion a bad move.

Lex was handled okay, but it’s obvious that people want Julius Caesar, not Goldfinger, and he was somewhere in between that I could appreciate, but obviously a lot of people didn’t.

This movie, for what it was, was good and enjoyable… but it wasn’t spectacular or memorable. It won’t sink the DCEU, but it didn’t do it any favors. It was just a set up for a grand entrance later down the road, and I honestly think that it would have been a better movie if they took out “Batman vs Superman”

The entire team pushed too hard to make Superman and Batman fight, and I don’t think it was necessary. In the grand scheme of things they damaged both characters by making them fight.

Batman was too stubborn. He wasn’t rational. Batman can kill, sure, and Batman can even have guns to an extent, but he was completely reckless and the only point was to make Superman not like him, and to make him jump the gun. He’s supposed to be clever and forward thinking, but instead he jumps right into things over and over, without any regard for bystanders, his own tracking devices, or what the heck Lex is up to. The fact that he tracked packages back to Lexcorp should have been a red flag that something was amiss. He should have been willing to listen. Instead he became extremely angry and irrational, and yes I recognize that he just lost Robin, but even at his most broken state, he wasn’t this reckless.

Superman gave up too easily. He gave in to Lex’s blackmail, he froze when the bomb went off, he sacrificed himself pretty quickly, and he gave up on trying to talk with Batman… why?

Those two things, even when rationalizing it as a pre-crisis based movie, just don’t fit, and really it could have been written better to come to the same conclusion. However, as the characters that they’re supposed to be, they wouldn’t have fought. It would have made more sense to blackmail Batman into killing Superman than the other way around by having Robin be captive the whole movie…

So yeah, 3/5 good action movie… about as good as any other Batman movie…

[pomfry]

How about a misunderstanding where Damian sees or overhears something that makes him think Jon doesn't want him or doesn't feel the same and basically breaks his heart. When Jon comes to find out what's wrong, he's faced with an overprotective batfam that blows everything over proportion. So angst with a happy ending?

Oh, yeah! I’m sorry if this isn’t that angsty-I tried. Here it is!

Damian blows into the Manor with a stony face, red eyes and bloody drawings.

Everyone’s concerned.

What happened?

Bruce sends in Dick to find out.

Dick fails.

Spectacularly.

He’s driven out of Damian’s bedroom by bat-a-rangs, paper weights, and general insults.

So, collectively, they send in Alfred.

With him, he brings tea and most of Damian’s favorite foods as a peace offering.

They stay in Damian’s bedroom for about three hours, and when Alfred emerges with a cart of empty plates, his face is faintly angry.

And that is enough to set everyone on edge.

“What happened, Alfred?” Tim asks, taking the lead. He might not like the kid that much, but he’s family.

And no one is allowed to hurt him.

“It seems that Mister Kent has forgotten how much he means to Master Damian and,” He stops to clear his throat. “Taken up relations with another.”

The effect of his words is instantaneous. Dick runs into Damian’s room, ignoring his protests while he hugs him and swears revenge.

Tim is immediately on his phone, finding new and creative way to ruin Jon’s life-it’s a wonder a person can do with enough connections and money.

Jason curses, punches the wall, and paces, silently swearing to make Jon’s life a living hell.

And through it all, Bruce is channelling Batman, making the lights around him darker and Jon shiver from his room.

(For those who don’t know, only Bruce can do this. Bruce and Alfred.)

All in all, Jon has pissed off the most powerful family on the planet-the Wayne family.

Jon comes the next day, his flannel shirt as obvious as day to the Bats gathered on the front lawn.

They had prepared.

Extremely.

Damian is still in his room, sketching out his former boyfriend’s gruesome death.

His family is determined to keep it that way.

Jon lands lightly, and promptly leaps back into the air to avoid a devastating kick to his neck generously provided by Tim.

He is then shot at by Jason.

And given a harsh punch by Bruce.

And then he’s knocked to the ground with Dick on his back, and Jon is very confused.

“You really think we’d let you get away with it?” Bruce snarls with the Batman growl in his voice.

Jon shivers; even now after a few years of knowing him and knowing that he’s just a exasperated parent, that still scares the shit out of him.

“Look, there’s been a misunderstanding.”

Tim snorts, twirling his bo staff with one hand in dizzying circles. “Forgive us if we don’t believe​ you.”

“It’s true!” Jon insists, pushing against the weight on his back. He failed, but that was because Jason has stuck a Kryptonite shard next to him.

“Look, my friend Riley was being harassed by this guy at the mall and he wouldn’t give up. Riley was getting nervous because the guy was literally following him around so he asked me if I could pretend to be his boyfriend to get the guy off his back.”

Jon sighs, shifting a little. “I said yes because Riley isn’t a person to get nervous easily and besides the guy was about twenty anyways. So I walked up to them, said typical couple things, and led him away. I guess that’s what Damian saw.”

“Replacement?” Jason asks, but Tim is already hacking into the security cameras.

“It’s true.”

Dick stands, grabs the Kryptonite, and gives a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Jon.”

Jon sighs and sits up. “It’s fine. Can I go talk to Damian now?”

“Mister Kent, I would recommend having someone as a shield. Master Bruce will do.” Alfred interrupts from the doorway, looking dignified as ever.

“Hi, Alfred.” Jon groans, raising a hand in greeting.

“Good day, Mister Kent.” Alfred nods his hello and disappears into the Manor.

Jason cackles, strolling-yes, strolling his way to his bike. “Good luck, Bruce.”

Bruce looks around for an ally among his children and finds Tim gone and Dick whistling innocently.

Damnit, his kids are traitors.

“Come on then, I don’t want my boyfriend angry at me any more than necessary.” Jon says, marching into the Manor.

“Fine.” Bruce bites out, following his son’s not-cheating-boyfriend.

Bruce is putting his life on the line, his children owe him big time.

And Bruce is going to collect.

[jedifighterpilot2727]

The Swear Jar - Eyes Like Kryptonite Ch. 24

So I was prompted by Jaden Ayala to make a fic based on this tumblr post -

http://sanvxrs.tumblr.com/post/156012140166

@sanvxrs hope you don’t mind!

ok but….. kara has a swear jar and makes lena put a dollar in it whenever she swears. one day lena comes out of the bedroom wearing just one of kara’s shirts, and while adjusting her sex hair she just puts an entire credit card in the jar       

Hope you guys enjoy!!

           It starts out as a joke.

She goes shot for shot with Alex at game night one week and she wakes up the next morning with a pounding headache and finds a vase on Kara’s end table labeled “Swear Jar”.

There’s a whole wad of cash in there, and she definitely doesn’t remember it being there the night before. According to Kara, she and Alex had gotten more rowdy the drunker they got, and the group had been forced to impose rules - say a curse word, put a dollar in the jar. Once the jar gets enough cash in it, it goes to beer money.

Frankly, Lena finds the whole thing hilarious, and Kara gets a huge kick out of calling people out to put money in the jar. Kara rarely has to put money in the jar - Lena’s pretty sure she only has to put one dollar in for the whole first month. Maggie and James are pretty even - they don’t curse a lot, but they have the occasional slip. Winn gets crazy competitive over game night, and all of his donations come from cursing his own bad luck.

Lena and Alex are without a doubt the most prolific contributors to the jar, neither of them are terribly interested in curbing their bad language. Alex says it’s because the money she ends up putting in the jar was going to go to beer anyway, and Lena    - well, let’s just say Kara gets a certain glint in her eye when Lena talks filthy. It’s worth it though, and it’s all in good fun; it keeps them laughing and the beer drawer in the fridge fully stocked.

One night, the jar overflows when Alex talks Lena into teaching her Irish curse words and Kara insists that curse words are curse words, regardless of what language they’re in. The same applies the next week, when Alex and Winn teach Lena the laundry list of Kryptonian curse words. It’s worth it though, when she gets to whisper dirty Kryptonian words in Kara’s ear the next time they make love.

Totally worth it.

Tonight, however, the swear jar is empty.

It’s their usual game night, with the usual crowd - all except Kara, who’s off in Metropolis helping Superman. At first it would seem that the jar empty because Kara isn’t there to call them out for their bad language, but upon closer inspection, it becomes evident that no one is talking at all. James and Winn are on the couch, flipping back and forth between Metropolis news channels - desperate to catch a glimpse of the cousins of steel.

Alex and Maggie are on the love seat, Alex checking her phone every five seconds for updates.

Lena is alone in the arm chair, normally she would be perched on Kara’s lap, but since her girlfriend is off being a hero, Lena is alone; arms wrapped around her knees as she hugs them to her. Her eyes are glued to the open window, a spark of hope igniting in her chest with every gust of wind that flutters the curtains.

It seems like forever, but it isn’t long at all before a flash of red and blue startles them all out of their somber musings.

“Kara!” Is the collective cry, and they surround her in an instant.

“I’m fine, guys, I promise.” She silences all of their worries with a smile. “I’m just starving, please tell me you have pizza!"

“Five pizzas.” Alex corrects, “And one of them has your nasty pineapple pieces on it too."

Kara laughs and pulls her sister in for a tight hug. She then continues on down the line of Super friends until she gets to Lena, and when she does she smiles softly.

“I’ve gotta go change outta this suit, its completely unfit for wearing during Monopoly. Start without us guys, I wanna be the dog.” She inclines her head towards the bedroom, and Lena follows without comment.

As soon as the bedroom door closes behind them, Lena wraps herself around Kara, relishing the way those strong arms envelope her.

“I’ve missed you."

“I’ve missed you too.” She feels Kara’s lips press against her hair and she tugs the super hero tighter.

“Are you sure you’re okay? No injuries you aren’t telling us about?"

“No, I promise. Just need to feel you."

Kara’s lips latch on to hers, and even though she knows they shouldn’t; it takes mere seconds for her to lose herself in to the feeling of Kara’s kiss. It’s desperate and hungry, like it always is after missions like these, and Lena forgets about the swear jar, about their friends in the next room.

When they finally walk back into the living room, Lena’s hair is falling out of her bun, and there’s lipstick smudged on Kara’s neck. Winn and James are purposefully looking anywhere but at them, and Maggie is doing a slow clap.

“Way to go Little Danvers."

Kara blushes beautifully and moves to take her seat, only to be stopped by Alex.

“Uh uh! Swear Jar, both of you, pay up."

“But-“

“Nope, after what we just had to listen to, we at least deserve beer money."

“We weren’t even loud-"

She’s stopped when Alex gives her a pointed look, and Lena can’t help but to laugh at her girlfriend’s expression.

“Oh no, you too, Luthor.” Alex scolds as Kara drops a $20 in the jar.  “Pay up."

Lena sighs, and moves to her purse, digging out a black AmEx and dropping it in.

“For my tab."

[nalufever]

A Case of the Feelz

Brooklyn Nine Nine Jake X Amy Canonverse-esque Word Count: 1829 Rating: mildly mature

Warning: New to this fandom and first time writing for Jamy. Here’s my take (even though this prolly has been done already and better) on the events leading up to Amy and Jake in bed after their first official ‘romantic stylez’ date.

Summary: Alcohol was mighty fine for greasing nervous wheels - now had it been Amy or Jake who made the first move into bed? Sex was supposed to be off the table, but rules like 'no sex on a first date’ and things like piñatas, glow sticks and egg shells were so meant to be broken.

It was weird with a giant helping of delightful. Amy preened under the warm attention from Jake. A Jake on his 'best behaviour.’ A man full of himself; yet dorky and dosing his teasing with honesty. He was having a great time and it showed in the smile that never dropped from his lips. Was this the same guy who’d purposefully planned a terrible date after he’d won their 'most perps caught’ bet?

Dinner was an understandable blur. Four Kamikaze shots will do that to a person. And wine with dinner - well, wine for Amy and a disgusting array of sweet mixed drinks for Jake. Once the appropriate level of drunkenness was achieved, conversation became loud and never lagged. Jake made Amy laugh.

Debris taken away and final drinks in hand; Jake tossed down money to cover the tab. “This was prolly the best date you’ve ever had Ames.” He winked, enjoying the brief look of annoyance. As much as he likes Amy, he loves winding her up - every chance he gets. “Let’s get some air.”

“All right.” Amy gave Jake her most challenging look from down her nose. “I’m surprised at you detective Peralta. Not gonna try to take me home?”

“I remember your third rule and don’t wanna tempt you too much.” Jake rose from his seat and staggered behind Amy to assist her from her chair with a flourish. “We’ll have to cab it on account of how drunk you are.” He grinned and winked. “You’re so the type to have busy hands while I’m trying to drive.”

“You wish!” Amy pretended a look of outrage. “There’s no way I’d let either of us drive.” It would have been more of a stunning set down if she hadn’t also laughed. She slung her purse over her shoulder and lead the way out of the restaurant, head held high.

Jake about swallowed his tongue - Amy did things for the clothes she wore. Good things. She did things for his clothes too - his pants were strangling him. That hip swaying action; oh man, he could watch that for hours. Red dresses were now his kryptonite.

Stepping out onto the pavement, Jake offered Amy his arm. Gratified by how easy she accepted it, he beamed. “Ames, we should totally drink a toast to celebrate how awesome our romantic stylez date went.”

“Oh, it is over?”

“… It doesn’t have to be.” Jake nodded in time with the clack of Amy’s heels as they walked. “I’ll let you invite me over.”

“Let you?”

“All right.” Jake shot Amy a smug look which in retrospect wasn’t the smartest idea - but hell, teasing her was the best. He rubbed where Amy had punched his arm, doing his best to hide his wince. Damn, that was gonna bruise. Good thing he didn’t mind a little rough housing. “Since you insist!” He whistled and flagged down a cab, intending to open the door for Amy. She beat him to it and ushered him in - goosing him in the process and cackling madly to hear his yelp.

She swatted his arm again as he gave her address to the cabbie and assured the man that Amy was big tipper. As a modern man, Jake is all about sharing costs. Paying for a date doesn’t mean he’s entitled to anything either. Oh, he sure as hell hopes so, but he’s not anywhere near that foolish. On the other hand (and Amy’s hands look pretty good too) he’d 'put out’ if Amy asked, nicely mind you. He shares a smirk with the driver and downgrades his words to the truth; 'just ask.’

Longest most embarrassing cab ride over, Amy sprints from the car covering her ears as Jake adds more fuel to her blush. He’s telling the cabbie it’s awesome how eager she is for the sex.

His affable grin doesn’t drop one inch as she repeats from earlier, 'sex is off the table on a first date.’

He nods sagely as she stumbles a bit - when did the floor get so uneven? “Depends how sturdy the table is, really - or if you wanted a new one.”

Smooth, clever like always - but a bit nervous under that veneer? Amy wants to see Jake squirm. She wants to see lots of things. Naughty things - but she promised herself to take this slow. Jake was all kinds of wonderful mixed with smart and irrepressible. “I’ve broken a table before.” She arches her eyebrow and gives him her own Amy Santiago smirk.

Never at a loss for words long, (or ever) Jake nods and agrees in a humble tone, “That sounds like bragging. I’m gonna have to give a second opinion on that. Tell you what, I’ll let you have your way with me on any two tables you want.” As designed, this spins them into a conflict over which two tables Amy could live with destroyed. Jake doesn’t think Amy understands. At this point she has tacitly agreed to have wild physical intimacy with him and on doily encrusted tables no less.

This is fun for the both of them; open flirting - a bit of give and take. Jake gives the most outrageous statements serious delivery and Amy takes everything she hears and does her best to memorize. She’s delightfully drunk, riffing off on his absurdities and adding to them. It’s actually quite awesome how clever they both are. This is indeed the best first date. Hey - it’s kinda the second date between them - Jake did score more arrests, taking her out in that hideous blue dress.

This knowledge swims around in the simmering soup of passion inside of Amy. She laughs in the kitchen where she’s grabbing another round of drinks. Flirting is thirsty work. She goes back into her living room and plops down next to Jake who has flung his tie off lord knows where, but he looks like he’s thought of something he needs to take care of urgently in his own apartment.

“What’s the matter?” She doesn’t give him the chance to turn down the beer, placing the bottle on his knee - making him have to stop bouncing it.

He moves to grip it and nods. “Cool cool cool cool cool.”

Amy scoots closer, loving Jake’s red cheeks. “If I told you, you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

He sputters, “That’s so old. Can’t you think of any newer lines?” How many drinks has Amy had anyway? His virtue is in dire straits. He wants to do the do, but they vowed 'not on the first date’ and dammit he was a man of principle. A dirty, lustful and horny man - but with a few selected important virtues. No going back on his word, no means no. Yeah, he’s not dead - he wants recreational stress relief more than his next breath. Santiago is all kinds of sexy.

“You know what we agreed at the start of the date?”

“Going halvsies? I’ll let you pay half now as a special favour.” Jake took a nervous gulp of his drink and then relaxed to see the amusement dance in Amy’s eyes.

She plucked his beer away and set it and her drink down on two doily coasters. So sue her! She liked doilies. Her tongue darted out and wet her lips. She narrowed her eyes at Jake. “We agreed no sex on the first date - but that -”

“But that doesn’t rule out things that lead up to sex!” Jake cheered. “I have the best partner, ever.”

“I will gray-cious, gray-cee-us - yes.” Amy gave up and straddled Jake’s lap. She paused. In that pause, that second - the Jake she knew as a wise-cracking detective shed some of his braggadocio and become a more honest version of himself. His want was clear to her; whatever she saw fit to give him. And Amy was willing to bet every last doily she had and half of her binder collection (she wasn’t that impaired to risk all of them) that it would be magical.

Amy set her index finger in his chin dimple. She gave him a soft smile and slowly lowered her mouth to his.

Jake liked this, ahem, a lot - and so did Jake Jr. He settled his hands on Amy’s hips and let himself arch up. She didn’t scream, slap him or jump off - so he opened his mouth and made it a two pronged attack.

One hand under her shirt directly on her flesh and the other digging into her pleasing derriere, Jake couldn’t hold in his moans. Santiago was a devil. Her tongue was busy gathering intel and then staged a coup - blasting all his remaining thoughts into the stratosphere.

Holy shit, Ames was on board and making a full press assault. Jake hissed more in pleasure than pain as Amy yanked on hair, forcing his head back. She ran her tongue down his neck and giggled. Giggled.

“What, do I taste funny?”

“Ooh! The name of your sex tape!”

Jake waggled his brows, “If you play your cards right, ours.”

Amy pulled on Jake’s shirt and unbuttoned the top couple of buttons. “Let’s take this to my room.”

“Heh, aren’t all these your rooms?” Jake joked, remembering the number one rule not to be broken. His grin turned into a smirk - man, Ames was a wicked kisser.

“Technically this is our second date.”

“Noice.” Jake kept Amy in his arms and sprang from the couch, huffing only a little. He wasn’t weak or anything, Ames was built sturdy. Stripping her would make her lighter and ditching his own clothes was the new plan.

On Amy’s sensible duvet, a gloriously naked Jake Peralta grinned down at an equally grinning Amy Santiago. She threaded her arms around his neck and pulled his lips down to hers. She might be under his body but she still held a position of authority. Amy speared her tongue into Jake’s mouth and destroyed what was left of his mind.

Did it matter who made the first move? Hells no. What was important, was the mutual desire raging out of control. It burned bright, a many splendored case of the feelz.

[the-connection]

Hi sidekicks! We’re back for the Are You The One season 7 chapter 3 recap, and I, for one, am on the edge of my seat. Will Zak continue to hit on every girl in the members of this house? Will my eardrums hold permanent injury from Nutsa’s voice? Will Bria skin Zak and wear him as a dres? Let’s find out!

We open on Bria screaming, and already I’m traumatized because I had a rough subway razz residence today. It also involved a female screaming “you can suction my dick! ” Although in her speciman, I meditate she was just trying to get me to grant her money. Bria is actually insane.

In the other room Nutsa is telling Zak he deserves better than Bria, and in the confessional Morgan is telling us that Nutsa isn’t right right for Zak. There is some major girl-on-girl misdemeanour going on here.

Asia decides to spare us all a reenactment of the blood-red bridal, and attempts to give Bria a pep talk. She tells her she needs to move on from Zak and will physically not cause her back in the members of this house until she calms down.

Bria is grunting and heavy exhaling like someone passionately in need of an exorcism as Asia contributes her back to the house. She crab steps right up to Zak.

Bria:* spokesperson dripping with hollow and sorrow* Listen to me, it’s done Zak:

Moving on to our second most f* cked up got a couple of the house, Tevin and Kenya. Tevin is sighing to Kenya, questioning what she did in the thunder boom office with Lewis. He says he’s moaning to prolong his utter , not because he wants to keep their sexual employs private or anything.

Kenya: We didn’t do anything Tevin:* mutters* You gave him head Kenya:* wails* I dedicated him head

It’s all highly baffling. They leave this conversation agreeing they are still into each other, but only one of them leaves with vocal chords that are fresh as a daisy.

Bria is icing her handwriting because she disabled it in one of her rage blackouts. She is also wearing Zak’s shirt although there is I Envisage WE WERE DONE WITH THIS, GOD! Samantha tells Zak that it’s mostly like a puppy urinating on something to distinguish its territory. Oh, Sam. I’m sure Bria did that extremely!

Okay now Sam "re talking" how she and Zak are similar and she thinks he are likely to be her pair. I’m starting to wonder what it is about this buster that obliges him female kryptonite? Is he actually a slice of pizza underneath his clothes?

Sam thinks they connect intellectually, and I’m wondering if they’re not showing us the parts of the day where Zak walks around performing Yeats from recall cause otherwise I DON’T SEE IT.

Now we transition to Andrew, who is declaring that everyone has made a contact and there are a lot of playboys there and he exactly doesn’t have that recreation. You mean the girls aren’t impressed by the diamond studs in each ear, Andrew? I am shook!

Andrew is applying the precious few minutes of screen time he has to talk about the weather with Asia. Apparently he got sunburned because it was overcast out and he “just didn’t think.” Well, Andrew, us fair-skinned tribe need to be vigilant about the daylight. Always wear sunscreen! Melanoma does not mark, although I’m sure it would pass over your diamond-studded soul if it had the choice.

I honestly never meditated I’d say this about person on this present, but Andrew obviously needs to devour more alcohol. This conversation is so awkward and the only way to get past that is by imbibing so much better your ability to feel reproach goes away.

Morgan is making Nutsa do her makeup even though they are both humbling on Zak. Morgan better watch out because Nutsa has a crazy look in her nose and a lip liner that gazes suspiciously like a shiv.

Morgan immediately moves from her discussion with Nutsa to tittle-tattle on her to Bria. She tells Bria that Nutsa is inessential but she is GREAT AND PERFECT AND WILL BE PURSUING ZAK. And isn’t it righteous that she’s telling Bria before she does it? In the confessional, Morgan lets us are also aware that she told Bria about her quash on Zak because she’s afraid of her. Same.

Morgan goes right over to Zak and accosts him vag first. He countenances with open arms.

Nutsa see this happen and is offended and upset. And I am affronted and upset by the resonates coming out of her cheek right now. My ears, they ooze.

Morgan tells Nutsa that she went to Zak to tell him to respect her. Then she tells us in the confessional that she lied. I’m particularly into Morgan’s use of the confessional. She knows what it’s about. Too she might want to avoid everyone from the evidence now that this is airing. Save yourself, Morgan!

Can I just take a brief minute here to discuss the living accommodations MTV provides for the shoot members? It’s literally mattresses thrown on the storey with a comforter on top. They look like they’re squatters. Did MTV even pay for this house or did they acquire the throw representatives break into a vacation home that wasn’t currently being leased?

Cut to Cali and Brett in some sort of khaki-colored hammock contraption. I’m having a hard time figuring out what’s going on now because everything is the same shade. The beings are tan, the hammock is tan, Brett’s shirt is tan. I think they’re making out. They seem to like each other. Cute.

Terrence J is demonstrated by. Is the J an extension of his first name, or is it his last name? Do we study I can drop it by now? Is Terrence very familiar for a mortal I’ve never met? Eh what the heck, let’s entered into with Terry.

Terry shows up. He prompts them that one week and seven hangovers ago they got three rays at the matching ceremony. Papa Terry was very proud. He shows off his beloved, the demise button, which will again pick the years this week.

The producers Fate pickings Nutsa and Asia as the women going on the time. For the second week in a row, Bria threatens the life of the fate button if it picks Zak. I really panic this this button is not long for this life. Luckily, the fate button is saved this week because it chooses Cam and Andrew. Don’t forget your SPF 50, Andrew!

So for this date they are zorbing. Zorbing is a word I merely became aware that entails reeling around in a plastic clod like a drunken hamster. How neat of MTV to send the cast to Hawaii and give them do something I could do at I Play America in center Jersey. Actually wasting the big bucks! I hope person suffocates.

Cam and Asia pair up for some time by the ocean, where Asia asks if his political deems affect his dating life. He is open and honest and so in return she tells him she detests him for his political beliefs.

Nutsa depletes the day telling the sons she’s not into them. Gentlemen, this is a favor. You don’t necessary that voice in your life.

Oooh now I meet what Andrew was talking about with his sunburn. That baby’s gonna rind. A pink-tinted Andrew tells Asia he would be interested in her if he saw her treading down the street. Asia says she thinks he has a wallflower identity and is leery of him because he seems reticent. Wow, I never knew reticent was a dealbreaker. So ladies, we’re into rampage controversies, cheaters, and unemployed losers, but we draw a line at balk? This is where we are now?

Andrew persuasions Asia that he would never be so disgusting as to be a shy dude, and she conceives him enough to think they might be a competition.

Back at the members of this house, Terry is there to announce who is going in the truth booth. Asia and Andrew acknowledge they’re feeling one another, and the house thought they might be too. They’re headed to the Truth Booth.

And it’s no equal! Ogles like Andrew was lying about being reticent and the experts really blew up his recognize, huh? They seem a little upset at first but then Andrew starts screeching “That’s information! That’s information! ” which is basically what I do after every late-night Wikipedia deep diving.

Post-Truth Booth, Kenya approaches Jasmine for saying she would pop off on her. I must have missed that component, but apparently it’s a big question. Kenya screams at Jasmine and then peaces out. Jasmine trying to mollify herself down right now is me after anyone has asked me to do a simple task at work. I ALREADY TOLD YOU TO ADD YOURSELF TO THE DISTRO LIST, LINDA!

Nutsa plucks Zak aside and questions him what he likes in a girl.

Zak: Seems don’t truly matter to me Also Zak:

He too mentions he demands a woman that’s steadfast. So steadfast like you were to Bria with Morgan and Nutsa and Samantha, like that kind of loyal? Nutsa munches it right up and says she thinks they could be a join.

Bria then be coming back and gathers Zak away from this sweet discussion and legit pulls him into the spurt spurt chamber and jump-start his bones. Oh so like this kind of loyal, Zak?

Nutsa then questions Samantha where Zak is.

Samantha: Yeah he’s f* cking Bria in the boom spurt room

Samantha! I miss exclusively good thoughts for you! My kindred spirit.

Before Bria makes Zak leave the boom boom room, she constricts his projectiles until he says she can trust him. I conceive Zak about as much as I conceive myself when I say I’ll come out but just for one potion.

We has at last attained it to the second match-up formality, and no one is dead yet! That’s how I’m setting success on this season. Who even cares if they get the million dollars this year? At this quality if they all make it out alive I’m calling it a make.

Tonight is ladies preference! So countless eligible bachelors, how will they ever judge?

Kenya picks Tevin Kayla collects Cam Jasmine selects Lewis Asia collects Brett Nutsa selects Daniel because they have “cultural backgrounds together” My number one girl Samantha pickings Zak, and the riot begins.

[almasy-fics]

Retail Hell

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh Chapter: 2/? Rating: M (Subject to change) Warnings: Swearing, perving and aged up characters Pairing: Seto Kaiba/OFC Summary: Seto Kaiba has no choice but to shop for himself when his personal stylist ends up sick and ends up in a store named Dapper Gentleman Boutique. He’s got the hots for the sales assistant. From Rose’s POV

Notes: A purely self indulgent piece of crap with added storyline!

AO3 Link Ko-Fi Link

“No.”

“Come on, please?”

“I said no.”

“Just one date.”

“The answer is still no.”

“How about you duel me and if I win I get your number?”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t duel?”

Please God, if you’re out there, use your smiting powers on Rex Raptor.

Rose inwardly growled, keeping her composure on the outside to ensure her professionalism stayed in check. Though really, if she could set this serial pest on fire, she would, gladly.

And possibly dance around his grave as they lowered his charred remains in.

Yep, she would totally do that.

Now he was pouting at her. Disgusting.

“Why the hell do you keep on rejecting me?!”

“Why do you keep on asking me to go on a date with you if you know I will continue rejecting you?” Just fuck off you little twerp!

His eye twitched.

“Just give me a chance! One!” No, don’t beg at me you creep. And my eyes are up here, by the way.

Unbeknownst to the two, the front door chimed and the store suddenly became void of staff, except for her.

“Not gonna do it Raptor.” Don’t cross your arms over your chest, he’ll just keep staring at them. No, arms to the sides, that’s it, great. “And tell that Underwood friend of yours to knock it off as well, I don’t appreciate either of you coming in here and- fuck me sideways…” Is that Seto and Mokuba Kaiba? In here?

“Hey! What are you looking a- Oh…” At least she could get away with swearing in English in front of this ingrate.

Wait, where did everyone else go?

Hang on, isn’t Seto Kaiba notoriously the hardest person to shop for?

Fuck.

“I just remembered I have somewhere to be… Uh… Bye Rosa.”

It’s Rose you dickhead.

Maybe she would just have to thank the brothers later for inadvertently ridding her of her very own serial nuisance. That’s if her pride could take it.

The floor staff had bailed on her when they saw their chance, peeking out from the tea room door. Those bastards, how dare they run off knowing full well I was distracted!

She could hear the younger Kaiba loudly describing the suits in the Alternative section and she sighed inwardly. Time to straighten up, saunter over and be the most professional sales assistant in this joint!

“Look Seto, this one from a brand called Antons has people fucking on it.”

She was somehow able to skillfully choke down loud ‘HA’ just begging to be released into the world. If that didn’t make her like the kid, nothing else will.

“I think we’re in the wrong section Seto…”

Poor Seto Kaiba was covering his brother’s eyes to shield them from her favourite shirts, how cute.

“Can I help you today sirs?”

He was staring at the shirts, his eyes flickering over each design with held back curiosity. How did she know? She works in retail damnit, of course she knows when people are ever so slightly inquisitive about her favourite Antons shirts. Coitus is a beautiful thing and should be celebrated, on shirts, on pants, maybe Seto Kaiba’s pants on her bedroom floor.

Shut up Rose, just shut up.

He’s really ridiculously good looking, get over it.

“Sirs, is there anything I can help you with?”

Even if it were just momentarily, his cobalt blue eyes showed a minuscule bit of amusement.

The man has a sense of humour, does that mean he is not the customer from hell?

Her theory was quickly thwarted when his eyes made their way over to her, silently appraising her presence.

Like what you see? Maybe you should take a picture, it would last longer.

She had to avoid rolling her eyes when his eyes lingered perhaps a moment too long on her chest.

Making a good first impression is paramount to great customer service!

She could actually hear the store owner screech that in her all too happy high pitched voice. She wanted to vomit.

“I’m fine.” So now you’re glaring at me? I’m just trying to do my job here, jackass!

And yet his gaze still travelled up and down her body. Wonder if he's undressing me with his ey- No, don't make me get out the spray bottle! Bad Rose! Very bad!

She raised her eyebrow, hiding the fact that she was enjoying herself.

“We need suits, please. Big brother’s stylist is sick so we don’t know what we need to get.” Oh such a good kid, his older brother could definitely learn from him.

Ha, doubt that would ever happen.

“Oh?” She was most certainly intrigued, that was no lie. So they don’t shop for themselves.

Wait…

They don’t go clothes shopping themselves…

Oh god… keep the professionalism in check! Calm down, straight face! No laughing.

Fight that bubble Rose, it is totally not hilarious that the Kaiba brothers can’t dress themselves. Stop thinking about it.

But that also means she gets to undress Seto Kaiba. Yes! God it’s great to work in retail.

“Is there an occasion or is this business?” Yes, good job! High fives all around… Nobody? Fine.

“My twenty-first.” Monotonous and all, good on ya mate. Ten out of ten for expressionism.

Stop sassing Seto Kaiba, you might stop monologuing and end up word vomiting you stupid woman!

“And I am supposing we are wanting to steer clear from our exotic collection?” The three of them looked back towards her favourite printed shirts, an amused smirk formed on her lips when she swore that she could see the older Kaiba almost smile at the clothing. He was totally digging it.

“Yes please.” Adorable little Mokuba answered again. She just wanted to ruffle his fuzzy black hair, though Seto Kaiba may snap her hands off if she tried. That unruly teen was most certainly this CEO’s kryptonite.

She smiled and she was definitely certain that Seto Kaiba was checking her out as he watched her lips intently.

Shameless, I like it.

Motioning behind her, she spoke. “If you would just follow me, I will show you some more appropriate attire. Though to be honest, I do quite love our Antons collection. The store is based in Melbourne and we have an exclusive deal with them. We are the only place in Japan that stocks their products. It’s all so exciting!”

“This is what your stylist would choose?”

“Yes.”

“Are you certain this is what they would choose?”

“Of course.”

“In a suit? For your twenty-first?”

“Did I stutter?”

Your stylist is shit, your attitude is shit, but my job is not shit so I would prefer to keep it and be nice to the fact that you have just chosen the worst, nineteen-eighties anchorman piece of garbage suit I have ever seen in my life.

Where the hell did he even find it? And a matching one for his brother?

“Seto…” Even the kid disapproves.

Just looking at the grey plaid mess before her was making her feel sick. She couldn’t do it, no way.

“I’m going to kill myself.” She whispered in English. Seto Kaiba totally heard that...

Professionalism be damned, she now had the insane desire to make him look like the Earth was his mistress.

No, she was going to make him look so dapper that he would be using the Earth as a condom to fuck something bigger.  

Like her tits.

Rose, enough. You’ll start salivating.

“You know what, no. Get those abominations off and I will be back momentarily with something that isn’t from the nineteen-eighties.”

Her inner Fashion Design Major was showing, she loved being able to put her night classes to good use.

She walked away, completely flattered when she heard the younger Kaiba comment on her ass only to be half-heartedly scolded by his brother.

Just suave mate, very suave.

Yes. Yeeeeeees. I am a genius! All need to bow down to Rose Brikmore! Undisputed Queen of Fashion.

“Damn.” Approved Mokuba. He just looked so handsome and dapper in the navy Tom Ford she picked out for him. And Seto Kaiba…

“Damn…” She smirked to avoid licking her lips at the sight.

The dark silver Ermenegildo Zegna suit she matched with a cobalt blue tie made Seto Kaiba look absolutely delectable.

Stop undressing him with your eyes.

Yes, fairy godmother of common sense.

Their stylist could not possibly missed such beautiful pieces of clothing for the two men. The men could do so much better.

“Permission to be painfully honest?” Even if he said no, she was going to voice her opinion.

“Fine.” Oh, sweet.

“Your stylist is a fucking no talent wanker and needs to be fired.” He totally understood her English, she could see it in his eyes. He was impressed.

“Uh Seto, what’s a wanker?” Oh poor, innocent Mokuba.

Nuh uh, the real Australian is answering here!

“Australian slang for loser, moron, idiot, douchebag. You get the gist.” Oh that felt good.

“Right… So are we getting these ones Seto?”

She heard right, the Kaiba brothers approved of her choices for them. She could see all that commission money flowing into her bank account in the back of her mind.

Take that staff hiding in the tea room!

“I must admit.” She said whilst neatly hanging the suits and their accessories in their own bags, “I quite enjoyed this little encounter today.” She zipped up the suit bags and handed them over to the sparkly eyed Mokuba. “Perhaps we could do this again sometime.”

A flustered Seto Kaiba responded by pulling out a card, hastily writing on it and shoving it into her hand before escaping the store. Mokuba quickly followed him after saying a polite ‘thank you’.

What the hell was that?

What the hell is- Oh… Oh god…

“Did he just…?” Now the other employees are out, and hovering over her shoulder no less.

“Did Seto Kaiba just give you his number?”

“That must be his number, what else would it be?”

“Maybe it’s a prank.”

“Seto Kaiba doesn’t pull pranks, Yukari.”

“Shut up Steve.”

“No you shut up Celeste!”

“How about you shut up Meika?”

Rose folded the card and shoved it down her cleavage, all the while staring out the door in shock.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?