#come commiserate with me

[cha1cedony]

Being both aroace and a huge nerd, it irks me a little that 99% of the asexual and/or aroace headcanons I see (and not aroallo headcanons interestingly, which could be its own post but I digress) are about characters who spend all their time working/studying/etc…. scientists, academics, introverts, shut-ins, even. I assume the common reasoning is that these characters only care about their work and don’t have time for things like relationships and sex. But like. You know that’s not what asexuality is… right 😀

Obviously it’s fine to headcanon these types of characters as ace, but I just always wonder about allo fans’ reasoning for it and what it implies about their opinions of asexual people. When the ONLY characters you can think of as ace are just nerdy, quiet/socially awkward characters with no other canon implications that they’d be ace, to me it just sounds like you think people are asexual because they can’t attract sexual partners? Or because they don’t have time for relationships??

Anyway it just annoys me a little that this is the VAST majority of the ace representation I see, both in canon and fandom. I’m an aroace academic, but I’m not aroace because I don’t have time for people or because I’m shy or awkward or lonely or whatever. I’m aroace because I’m aroace lol

Tl;dr, asexual/aroace people aren’t all innocent nerdy introverts (and aroallos aren’t all extroverts with a long history of one night stands, btw). Let ace characters be loud and stupid. Or try headcanoning a loud and stupid character as ace (you can do it, I promise)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

i wanna know more about svsss menopause

They synced their periods together too well. Now they are synced through their perimenopause years.

[lurkingshan]

I gotta be honest, this show is really not working for me at all anymore. It’s not just the very fucked execution of the class disparity themes, either. This is purportedly an ensemble show about a group of friends who become like family, but only one of those characters actually matters to the narrative. Literally everything is about Home rather than being about them as a unit who mutually care for each other.

Peach is angry someone he thought was his friend ran him down in the street and ruined his life. But Home feels bad now and it’s making him sad to be held accountable, so better get over it quick and never mention it again.

Pang had her entire life turned upside down and her brother nearly died, but it doesn’t matter that any of that actually get addressed as long as she can still think of Home as a brother.

Kan’s community was destroyed and her father literally just died, but Home needs to save his family’s reputation and is feeling sad about Peach maybe moving away, so she better drop everything to help and comfort him.

Even the restoration of the ghost hunting contract in this episode was weird—that is explicitly an exploitative contract, is Home not going to give his dear friends and family fairer compensation after everything they’ve been through? This is just not what friendship actually looks like. Instead it’s a story that is determined to center and cater to Home at the expense of everyone else. The other characters don’t feel real to me anymore because the story doesn’t take them and their needs and feelings seriously.

[outfoxt]

ok last post before I actually go take a shower but today we started phonetics in my linguistics class and I'm So Fucking Excited and we were sounding out some words and one of the words was "context" and everyone agreed that c, o, n, t, and e were separate sounds but then everyone goes "x" and I'm like ????? x is two sounds!! it's k-s!! and luckily I was loud enough that the prof was like "oh it sounds like there's some other opinions" and I was thinking to myself like who in their right mind thinks x is one sound and I even said to the girl next to me like bitch that's 2 sounds

[nullb1rdbones]

because it's impossible to truly get into the depths of a very hyper specific situation, here's a checklist of 'am I being groomed' [specifically for ONLINE SPACES]

keep in mind that grooming, in this sense, could not be seen as inherently rigged for sexual exploitation. there are a lot of different examples. this also works as a checklist of the intrusive worry of 'am I accidentally grooming someone.' as long as you aren't doing any of that, there's no reason you'd think you would be a groomer. this isn't even age specific. it can happen to anyone at any time if they are susceptible.

none of these specifically mean anything, but together/if added together, they should be cause for alarm

any victim of this sort of behavior should know: it's not your fault, you can always recover, you deserve better friends, you deserve to be happy, you don't deserve to be isolated

I honest to god felt the same way about a year ago. And, now, while I'm still coming to terms with it, I have never been more happy and sure of myself now that I'm out of the situation. and I want the same for you, genuinely. it's isolating and bizarre.

and here: the checklist

are they showing you pornography or explicit content that makes you uncomfortable?

are they encouraging you to seek out specific pornography?

is that pornography in a moral sense illegal?

are they encouraging you to do illegal things or things that might put you in danger?

do you wonder if they ever actually care about you?

do they only talk to you when you're emotionally vulnerable?

do you feel like you need to act outside of how you'd typically act to please them?

do you feel like you need to expose yourself to things you wouldn't normally want to to please them?

do you feel isolated from people outside of the opinions they hold?

do you feel like 'if everyone knew who I really was, they'd hate me?"

do you feel like you're secretly a bad person

do you feel like you can't hold any moral stance on issues because your morals are too far gone?

do you feel like you can defend heinous actions because you (and specifically this other person) are just as guilty your selves

are they telling you that they're the only person/group of people who can 'fix' an issue you have?

are they telling you that looking at upsetting and triggering material is the only way to fix yourself?

are they making you feel as though you don't have a choice about something about yourself?

are they telling you to disregard belief systems that are in place to keep you safe?

are they desensitizing you to things (showing you something bad, showing you something bad, showing you something worse; you don't perceive it as worse)

do you feel like their values are more important than your own morals?

do you feel like you're beyond saving because of what they've told you?

The best course of action to this kind of thing isn't even legal based because that's impossible to determine/prove; it's : please leave. please find somewhere safe to go.

[akkivee]

remember that time honobono came to bother nemu and nemu hit her with the ‘this meeting could have been an email’ LMAO

[gattmammon]

accidentally came across a youtube short that was like "travelling with the person who thinks they're better than everyone else" from someone travelling to Milan and the crimes this very pretentious and mean person committed were like:

- trying to speak italian a little bit

- trying out local food instead of having the same food they could have at home

- asking the people who were with them to not yell in church

- saying that they found how everyone was looking at their phone taking selfies for instagram instead of around a bit sad

And what I want to say to the person who made this video is you're goddamn right. That person you're making fun of is horrible. But the thing is everyone in italy is like that! That's right! Everyone here is a big meanie just like that. You should never come here again in fact you should stay the fuck home forever and exhort everyone like you to do the same. You all are too nice and fun and cool to put up with us big meanies who ruin your fun by demanding a basic level of curiosity and cultural respect by visitors. Please spend the rest of your life in Idaho or wherever other bit of stolen land it is and never let anything challenge your idea that you are the protagonist of the world and the only reason why someone might not want to hear you squawk loudly like a chicken while you discuss how Kyle like, totally liked Jennifer's selfie in the middle of a church is because they are all big pretentious meanies. stay home girl.

[cosmodynes]

a blessing for long life

come wish me happy birthday at otakuthon in august for your own little blessing of longevity 🎁

[originalcontent]

My least favorite thing about autocorrect is how it always corrects "themself" to "themselves."

[eterniravioli]

i love when my mutuals are crashing out on main and i like every single one of their posts like <3 yay! <3 sorry your dog died! <3 hate that for you! <3 :)! <3

[dragonologist-phd]

what's the marja gorim confrontation 👀👀👀

aah ok so when i started Of Diamonds And Dust there were a handful of scenes that I could already see so clearly in my head and one of them was Marja’s reunion with Gorim in Denerim. and the part that i could really envision was that despite being so happy to find each other alive, the reunion went badly

because Marja and Gorim have this very fun tension of Marja genuinely treasuring him as a friend but also taking his friendship and unwavering loyalty as a given in all circumstances, and not really recognizing the unbalanced nature of their dynamic. and Gorim is so invested in that loyalty himself that it’s never really occurred to him, either- that's just the way things are with your Second!

but then of course they’re separated and Gorim starts living his own life for the first time. and by the time Marja returns there’s a number of reasons why he can't jump back into that position of following her around and giving her his total support, all of which are very fair! but to Marja it feels like another person she trusted is letting her down. and, well…

(i’m finally at that point in the story itself, this is from my draft of the next upcoming chapter!)

[valen-dreth]

she likes him confirmed.......

[odietamox]

monthly im a horrible person and i dont even care enough to do anything about it post

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.

My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.

If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.

I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.

But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.

I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.

But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.

So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.

My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.

But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.

I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.

I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.

[soup-mother]

probably should have seen it coming I guess but it's pretty fucking annoying everyone saw a conversation about "people don't understand how difficult it is clothes shopping as a trans woman" and proceeded to show just how much they don't understand it by assuming it's only about sizing and not the constant societal surveillance and inability to use the change rooms and fear of being kicked out of the story and unwillingness even for friends to recognise that there's barriers in your way and try and help you.

even people trying to commiserate with me complaining about the dumb responses assumed that it was just about sizing. and phrased it all like "you're so seen and valid". fucking christ.

wow it's almost like people don't understand how challenging it is clothes shopping even years into transition as a trans woman! who could have guessed??????

[lixbf]

to be very honest. school is so much better if youre all older (and the school also is in a big city). it doesn't feel like the most important thing in your life and everyone is less serious about it because youre all adults. more queer people. none of that mean girl mentality. people listen to more interesting music so you can connect on that level too.