#confusing anyways back to sleep to fix my sorry ahh mood

[zannia]

Can't tell if I actually had a conversation or if I dreamt I had a conversation or if I was just talking in my sleep. Either way said something mildly concerning to my family but I don't remember what was said?

[tobiosmilktea]

ahh omg requests are opened !! can i request atsumu, iwa, kenma, and tsukki angst to fluff kinda thing where they get into a big fight and the boys blow up on the reader but make up at the end? pls make me cry but also go “💘🥺”,, thank you so much !!!

- 🧋

kiss and make up with atsumu, iwaizumi, kenma, and tsukishima

— m. atsumu

being with atsumu,, it’s no surprise that you two occasionally get into a few arguments here and there

they honestly range from the tiniest little, insignificant things from what to get for dinner to whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza aka things most people probably wouldn’t even bat an eye at

you were used to it considering how atsumu is, but his personality is what you liked most about him with how he’s constantly having you on your feet —never knowing what he’ll do next

they’re quiet funny at the end of the day and that back and forth banter is just another way you two show how much you care about each other

with that being said, no matter what you two are arguing about, it’s always lighthearted and not so serious

that’s why it honestly took you by surprise how atsumu’s typically nonchalant and teasing nature whenever you guys “argue” over something was something you’ve never seen before

very rarely did you ever see this man get incredibly angry and you’ve even seen all of his games where things weren’t going right

and perhaps that’s where the root of this argument started in the first place

dating a famous division 1 volleyball player who is well loved and respected, it’s hard being able to spend the proper time with him when he’s constantly travelling or getting recognized whenever you two are out on a date

you weren’t exactly complaining about this problem to atsumu after he came back from a tiresome and strenuous day of practice as you knew that it was going to be like this when you two first met

if anything, it was just a concern you voiced out that you obviously weren’t expecting him to solve with a snap of his fingers

“and what the fuck do you want me to do about it, (y/n)?” he snapped at you, venom coated his words like tar

you looked at him with widened eyes as a mixture of confusion and utter offense melted upon your expression

atsumu was notorious for using foul language on a daily basis, but never had he ever swore at you and it’s safe to say you like to keep that same energy with him

you scoffed at him, still a bit dumbfounded, “i’m not expecting you to fix anything over night, i was just saying.”

“as if i already didn’t know how hard it is to find time to spend together.”

“so, are you just treating me like an idiot now?”

it was late, you were tired just as much as atsumu was and you certainly weren’t in the mood to argue with him anymore

before you could even let him answer, you walked away from him and entered your bedroom withy a slammed door

you hated going to bed angry, but there honestly wasn’t anymore moral within you to even continue whatever leftover conversation between you and atsumu

perhaps giving time for something this to simmer until the morning would be enough to make sure your fatigue wasn’t blurring your thoughts knowing how dangerous misunderstandings can be

a few minutes later, atsumu enters the room, eyes scanning over your figure beneath the sheets as your breathing subsided

he thought you were fast asleep, but your mind was still awake and racing with the worse case scenarios. it made it so much more difficult now that atsumu laid beside you

he would wrap his arms around you, “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have yelled at you.” whispering in a hushed, muffled voice. you could feel the way his lips pecked at you shoulder then up to your temple

you weren’t sure if he knew you were awake or not as you swore he could’ve heard your heart pounding

without uttering another word, you turn towards him, burying your head into the crook of his neck

you were just glad his warmth was still here

— i. hajime

you believe one of your biggest flexes within your relationship with iwa is that you two rarely argue or get into childish fights

sure, there were disagreements here and there, but most of them were minuscule decisions on what outfit to where that day or what restaurant you two wanted to eat at. most of which would be decided with a harmless game of rock, paper, scissors or nose goes lmao

other than constantly bickering with oikawa, iwaizumi isn’t really the type to get into shouting contests with you unlike with his best friend (most of which is started by oikawa anyway)

because of this, you weren’t really expecting to get into a fight with your boyfriend, and yet, it wasn’t like you weren’t used to him doing so

at the end of the day, you always ended up being the moderator of iwaizumi and oikawa’s loud back and forth banter if things got too rowdy

so never in a million years were you expecting oikawa to be taking your place at this very moment

poor dude doesn’t know what to do

he’s used to third wheeling you and iwa being all lovey dovey, but now that you two were in the midst of a midafternoon shouting contest, he’s completely dumbfounded

oikawa couldn’t help but feel bad for you as technically the whole reason why you and iwaizumi were arguing in the first place was because of him

long story short, iwa was sick and tired of oikawa flirting with you all the time despite only doing it to tease him

you were well aware of this as well, playing along with oikawa’s flirts just to tease your boyfriend

you didn’t see any harm in it as you made it very clear the moment you confessed to iwaizumi that you liked him and not his best friend (who you more or less saw as a brother over anything)

“listen, i’m sorry i was only playing around.” you apologize, throat already aching from the amount of stress you had already put on it

“if you were only playing around, then you wouldn’t be flirting with him everyday!” spat iwaizumi as he flickering a harsh look to oikawa who backed a good six feet away from you two (social distancing king lmao)

you honestly didn’t know what to say as a lump formed in your throat, rendering you speechless. granted, he had a point, but how couldn’t he overlook the way you only had eyes for him? the way you would “flirt” with oikawa they always tended to be backhanded, the way you would always kiss iwa after each of oikawa’s attempts to flirt, or how you would constantly remind him how much you loved him

it hurt slightly knowing how it was all overlooked by harmless teases

regardless,, it had to stop

before you could  apologize once more and say you’ll stop, iwaizumi huffs, “just say that you wanted him the entire time and not me.” before walking away entirely

your eyes widened, turning over towards a distanced oikawa who had the same look of surprise before motioning a hand towards your boyfriend, “well, go after him!”

with missing a beat, you ran down the block to catch up to iwaizumi, spreading your arms and throwing it around him as you bury your face into his back

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have done that.” your voice muffled into his uniform shirt, “i only like you, iwa, you have to believe me.”

your hands that were firmly clasped together to prevent him from breaking out of your embrace was slowly pulled apart by iwaizumi, feeling his entire body turn to face towards you

“idiot,” he muses with that same embrace

— k. kenma

i don’t think argument are common between you and kenma

he’s probably too preoccupied with playing video games or sleeping to even bother starting a fight over mindless disagreements

you were glad that you didn’t have to deal with such burdens of fighting with your significant other, but at the same time, you believed that small disagreements in relationships showed just how much you cared for the other

it showed how they were looking out for you if you were to ever make a terrible decision, and yet kenma would only bat an eye at you and shrug whenever you ask him for advice

in the end, you’d end up fucking something up or get hurt

or whenever you’d ask your boyfriend what he thinks about a specific outfit, he barely spare your a glance before uttering the words, “yeah, looks great babe.”

it sounded almost crazy to say, but sometimes you wished for you and kenma to get into arguments sometimes

not ones so serious it would lead to a significant gap within your relationship, but rather the ones the led for you guys to communicate more

besides, it’s not like you guys communicate a lot in the first place

you first brought up this concern when you came over to his apartment to which he was (surprise surprise) still playing video games

you didn’t mind about his hobbies as that’s what he liked most, but sometimes you just wished he would give you the proper attention for once

“hey,” you’d call out to him in the dark room, shaking a plastic bag in your hand in the hopes it would capture his attention, “i bought takoyaki!”

and to your low expectations, kenma simply hums as he clicks rapidly at his keyboard

your brows furrow as you pondered to yourself, what will get his attention?

“i also brought my boyfriend with me!” you lied just to see if his expression would even change

and what do ya know, it doesn’t. it’s the same focused deadpan on his computer screen, “no you didn’t, your boyfriends right here?”

you were at the end of your rope

“then why doesn’t my boyfriend come over here and act like it?” you hissed, “last time i checked, boyfriends get excited whenever they see their significant other and not over genshin characters.”

now that was a bite to kenma’s ego as he finally pulled his eyes away from the screen and towards you. “what?” he says, confused.

“do you even like me anymore?”

kenma scoffs almost dumbfounded, “of course i do, how could you say that?”

“because i experience it everyday, kenma.” you confess, fighting to keep your heavy gaze onto your boyfriend as he approaches you. “every time i come by i always see you at your desk in front of your computer. you never greet me first and unless i verbally say something, you probably won’t even notice that i’m here.” you voice broke slightly

“i-i’m sorry, (y/n)—”

“do you ever stop and think of the fact that the only times we see each other if from me visiting you? if i were just to stop one day i’d figure we wouldn’t even have a relationship in the first place.” you sigh as you shook your head, “you probably wouldn’t even notice, anyway.”

almost immediately does kenma wrap his arms around you in a tight embrace, almost as if he feared that you would disappear if he were to let go in the slightest

he places a kiss on your forehead before resting his own against yours, “i don’t ever want to hear those words come from you every again, (y/n). i’m so so sorry, i’ll promise to be better.”

you melted within his embrace, feigning a smile from appearing as you quickly give him a peck before remembering that the bag of food you bought was still in your hand

“let’s start by eating before the food gets cold.”

— t. kei

unlike the rest of the previously mentioned boys, arguments are pretty common between you and tsukishima considering his nature

he’s constantly teasing and making fun of you, but all of which were just jokes not meant to be taken seriously and you were well aware of this too

it’s probably the main reason why tsuki found himself so enamored with you as you constantly matched his energy 

you two were shockingly similar with your humor and your smugness, but the main differences between the two of you was you academics

it’s not surprise how tsukishima is always at the top of his class while you’re always at the bottom of it

considering this, the majority of your dates during the week with him are usually study dates or normal dates that end with the two of  you either at the library or each other’s houses studying material for the following day’s test

it was clear that in order to date each other, you both had to have patience

you weren’t exactly the fastest learner and you easily got distracted with things around you that you’re honestly surprised that tsukishima’s nonexistent patience was still up and active

besides, he loved you. he had to understand your difficulties as most of the time you can’t help it, but at the same time his personality was like treading on broken glass

usually he had enough patience to last an entire two hour study session with you, but today was oddly different

nothing was going right with tsukishima’s day and he just got absolutely annoyed with every little thing from a person bumping into him in the halls to a stain on his uniform that you could barely even notice

right now, this was the tenth time he found you tuning him out and daydreaming

his knuckled turned alabaster from the pressure of squeezing his mechanical pencil. he huffed, trying to calm himself down as he rubbed his aching temples

“(y/n), were you even listening to what i was—”

“do you think giraffes know where other giraffes are from?” you interrupted him with another one of your mindless tangents, “like considering how the pattern of a giraffe’s fur depends on what regent they’re from, do you think a giraffe from southern africa could tell if another if from western africa—”

tsukishima was at his limit, “can’t you just shut the fuck up and focus for five minutes, (y/n)?” he shouts at you, “i swear, you wouldn’t be failing if you just listened for once.”

he huffs out in annoyance, completely ignoring the way the brightness in your expression fell into a frown

you weren’t mad as you honestly couldn’t blame him. having learning difficulties and a short attention span was burdening you boyfriend so much that he isn’t even obligated to be doing this for you

he was sacrificing his time tutoring you and you’re just wasting it

“i’m sorry i can’t learn as easily as you,” you mutter softly, picking up your things quickly

tsukishima gives you a look of confusion, “w-where are you going?”

“thanks for all your help, but i can’t keep wasting your time like this.” you say as you zipped up your backpack and left

the next day you walked to school alone. usually you would be walking with tsukishima and yamaguchi, but it seemed like even tadashi wasn’t there to wait outside your house either

you weren’t able to hide your melancholy as you entered your classroom, slightly glad that tsukishima and yamaguchi weren’t here yet to see your expression

it allowed you time to pull yourself together, and yet, that time alone was cut short as the two walked in

you briefly flicker them a look fast enough that they don’t notice, but long enough for you to see yamaguchi patting his best friend on the back with encouragement

tsukishima had something in his hands, but you were too far away to construe them

you looked back down to your desk, fiddling with you pencil and pretending as if you were thinking about what to write next

it was then did footsteps approach, arriving right next to you with a presence so unwavering

you gulped, hoping that it wasn’t who you thought it was as you looked it

of course it just had to be that one lanky boy with glasses and messy blond hair to be standing by your side

he was holding a stuffed giraffe and a small white box with string neatly tied around it

“i’m sorry for blowing up on you,” he bursts out his apology, “i know you have a hard time and i should’ve remembered that you can’t help it.”

he places the giraffe plushy and box onto your desk

“it’s an masai giraffe since i remembered you liking their unique fur pattern and i also got you strawberry short cake this morning before they ran out that’s why i wasn’t there to walk you to school.” tsukishima continues explaining, “i just hope you’re not angry with me.”

you felt a smile creeping up to your lips as you shook your head, “i could never.”

[thesewordsareallihavetogive]

The Couch Part Two - Stiles Stilinski x Reader

(gif source)

Summary: Stiles attempts to make amends after forgetting his wedding anniversary plans with y/n.

Word Count: 2391

Warnings: angst, tooth-rotting fluff, and probably three curse words (i know i’m so vulgar)

a/n: hi! here’s the long-awaited part two of The Couch, thank you for being patient with me! if you haven’t read that yet, i’d strongly recommend it. you can find it linked below. i hope you enjoy!

part one | masterlist

“I know, I know. I should’ve let him out there by himself, taught him a lesson or whatever… But, I don’t know… I can’t sleep without him next to me, you know?” y/n tried to explain rather pathetically. Kira sat across from her on the couch, a sympathetic smile on her face as she nodded. y/n rubbed a hand over her face tiredly and sighed. “Thanks for having me over. I needed to get out of my apartment after everything that happened last night,” y/n exhaled. Kira suddenly perked up and sat her wine glass down. Before y/n could ask anything Kira was rummaging around for the TV remote.

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” she grinned.

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” y/n chuckled. Kira turned on the TV and after pressing a series of buttons the screen displayed a young Kristen Stewart clinging to a very pale Robert Pattinson. “Oh no, not Twilight,” y/n laughed, shaking her head at Kira.

“Oh yes. You always laugh at the facial expressions the actors make and the supernatural inaccuracy. We’re watching it, you miserable thing,” Kira retorted. y/n rolled her eyes as a small smile spread across her face. An hour into the movie and several laughs later, the girls heard the front door open and Scott slipping off his boots in the connected hallway.

“Hey babe, y/n is here,” Kira called out, only briefly turning away from the screen. Despite her initial reservations, y/n was now completely engrossed in the movie.

“Oh, good,” he called back. His comment caught the attention of both of the girls and y/n turned towards Kira, quirking an eyebrow upwards. Shortly after they heard another set of footsteps and someone murmuring quietly. Kira, having the best view of the hallway from her position on the couch, leaned backwards to see who had entered her home.

“Ahh,” she hummed as she turned to face y/n once again, confusion still painted on her friend’s face. “Your hubby is here,” Kira whispered. y/n pressed her lips into a thin line. Though she could never be upset to see her husband, she was still pretty ticked off about him forgetting about their dinner reservations.

Stiles was slipping off his shoes in the hallway when Kira had called back that y/n was over at the apartment. His blood ran cold for a moment. He knew that he was 100% still in the dog house, y/n had been giving him the silent treatment all day aside from when she said goodbye as she left their apartment far earlier than normal that morning. By the time Stiles and Scott turned the corner and made their way to the living room y/n had turned back to the TV, staring straight ahead and ignoring everything around her. Sensing the tension rolling off of y/n in waves, Scott turned to Kira, making worried eye contact. Nodding in understanding, Kira glanced between the couple and cleared her throat.

“Scott and I are gonna, uh, walk the dog,” Kira rushed out, grabbing Scott’s hand and pulling him out the front door. After the door shut loudly, signally their friends’ departure, a tense silence hung in the air for a few moments. It became clear that y/n had no intention of speaking first so Stiles cleared his throat. Before he could begin y/n began giggling before erupting into full-blown laughter.

“They don’t have a dog. Not as a pet anyways… did she really just call her fiancé a dog?” she wheezed out between giggles. Stiles became slightly alarmed at her drastic switch in mood, but what scared him more was the fact that she still hadn’t looked at him, just like last night. After her laughter had died down to a gentle chuckle he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Can we- can we talk?” he pleaded, a desperate look in his eyes. Another beat of silence passed before y/n gave him a small nod before turning around to finally look at him. Despite the solid night of sleep he had with y/n in his arms, Stiles had bags under his eyes and worry lines etched across his face from the immense guilt he was feeling. y/n again found herself pitying him despite everything within her that told her not to. Damn his stupid puppy dog eyes.

“I just- I’m, I- Jesus, y/n, I’m so sorry,” Stiles croaked out. y/n swallowed thickly as she watched him silently. She hated seeing him upset and right now he looked like he was about to break down. “I would never, never, have stood you up on purpose. I’ve been beating myself up since the moment I got home last night,” he paused to take a breath and before he could begin again y/n spoke quietly.

“I know,” she murmured, meeting his watery eyes. She cleared her throat before she continued. “I know that you wouldn’t have done it on purpose. I know you’re so mad at yourself that you can’t think straight. I know you’re probably hurting more than me. I know you care so much that you feel like your heart is going to burst. I know you,” she finished, a few tears of her own brimming in her eyes by the end. Stiles let out a shaky breathe as y/n held out her hand. He quickly but gently grabbed it as if she would disappear at any moment.

“I will make this up to you, I promise,” he whispered as he stepped closer to her. A small smile grew on y/n’s face as she nodded and stood up from the couch.

“I know you will,” she said quietly before stepping in front of him and wrapping her arms around his waist. Stiles was momentarily shocked, still slightly in a daze from the fact that she was willing to hold his hand. When he snapped out of it, he pulled her close against him with one arm around her waist and a hand resting gently on her head as he placed a soft kiss against her hair. Stiles squeezed her tight once more before he whispered a soft but firm “I love you” into y/n’s ear. She smiled warmly against his chest before pulling back and looking up into his eyes.

“I love you too,”

After Stiles and y/n had left Kira and Scott’s place (“Thanks for giving me my apartment back, buddy,” Scott jabbed as Stiles passed on his way out.) they drove home in their separate cars. On the drive over Stiles had been formulating a plan in his mind, so the moment they pulled into their side-by-side parking spaces, Stiles ran around to open y/n’s door for her. Before she could tease him with her typical “what a gentleman” comment he began talking with a wildly excited look in his eyes.

“Go get dressed into that sexy dress from last night, I’m taking you out. I’ll be back in an hour” he rushed out before pecking her lips. He walked her up to their front door before spinning around on his heel and jogging back to their car. He had a lot to get done in one hour.

By the time Stiles returned to his and y/n’s apartment it had been exactly 57 minutes since he left. Though he had broken a sweat earlier from all his rushing around, he decided it would be even worse than it had been last night if he showed up late for their do-over. When he unlocked the front door with a large bouquet of red roses in hand, he heard music coming from their shared bedroom.

“I’m home!” he called out, just barely audible over the music. Stiles heard y/n knock something over and let out a string of expletives. He chuckled quietly to himself before she responded.

“Okay, I’ll be out in a few minutes!” she shouted over the sound of her hair dryer blowing.

“No rush, baby,” Stiles replied as he turned to the mirror in the hallway. He’d cleaned up pretty decently considering he’d changed into the clothes he’d packed for last night and fixed his hair in the grocery store bathroom. When he heard the same floorboard from last night creak under y/n’s shoe he turned to look at her. She looked absolutely gorgeous. She was wearing just a little bit of makeup, not that she needed it, and she’d styled her hair into delicate curls that framed her face beautifully. When Stiles saw her dress he mentally kicked himself for the umpteenth time that day, this time for missing out on the chance to see his wife all dressed up last night. The red silk hugged her body just right, perfectly accentuating all of her features. Stiles’ mouth practically started watering as his eyes traced the slit in her dress that reached from her ankle to her mid-thigh. He finally looked up to meet her eyes and his face broke out into a big grin.

“You look so beautiful, baby,” he said lovingly as his eyes wandered up and down her figure once more. y/n giggled quietly to herself.

“I do try,” she replied sarcastically, a smile of her own making its way across her face as she took in her husband’s appearance and the fresh roses in his hand. He stood tall and he looked damn good. His work clothes had long since been abandoned, probably sitting in a crumpled pile in the back of his jeep. He wore a nice pair of black dress slacks, his derby shoes, a pressed maroon button up shirt, and a light grey tie. y/n’s black stilettos made clicking noises on the hardwood floors as she made her way over to him. She stood in front of him, giving him a short but sweet kiss before she began adjusting his tie. He watched as she worked, taking in the way the light bounced off of his mom’s wedding ring that now sat on her finger. Just as she finished, Stiles placed the roses on the nearby table and placed both hands on either side of her face as he pulled her towards him for a passionate kiss. When they finally broke apart to breathe Stiles rested his forehead against y/n’s.

“My mom would have loved you,” he murmured against her lips. Tears began to well in y/n’s eyes before she blinked them away. After the sweet moment was over y/n playfully swatted her husband’s chest.

“Ugh, Stiles, you can’t make me cry, my mascara is too expensive for that shit,” she said, mostly sarcastically. Stiles laughed before kissing her once more and grabbing her hand.

“To Roscoe we go!” he announced while pulling her out the door and holding her purse, jeep keys dangling precariously from the fingers of his same hand. y/n shook her head at Stiles’s antics while smiling.

After driving along the quiet road that threaded through the preserve for a good ten minutes Stiles pulled the jeep off to the side of the road. As much as y/n loved the preserve, she wasn’t too thrilled considering she wasn’t exactly in the proper attire.

“Babe, you know I love it here, but how the hell am I going to trudge through the forest in these stilettos?” she asked as she glanced at him sideways from the passenger seat. He hummed quietly to himself, pretending as though he hadn’t thought of that. He hopped out of his seat and ran around to the passenger’s side door to help her out. 

“Who said anything about walking?” he smirked while holding her hand as she carefully stepped out. Slightly confused and a little frustrated now, y/n began to speak again.

“Stiles, what are you-” she started to ask before squealing as he swept her off her feet to hold her bridal style. y/n started laughing as she squirmed in his hold. “Stiles! Put me down!” she giggled. Stiles rolled his eyes sarcastically before complying.

“Only because you asked nicely,” he carefully set her down on the leaf-covered soil before heading around to the back of the jeep. He pulled out a pair of sneakers he’d stolen from y/n’s closet and a picnic basket. They set out into the preserve after y/n had changed her shoes and walked for a few moments before reaching the cliff that overlooked Beacon Hills. y/n looked at the distant horizon, mesmerized as the sun began to set. 

While she was distracted Stiles began to pull apart the picnic basket, laying out a blanket and placing the food down on top. When y/n turned around she gasped, taking in the elaborate display behind her. The red hues on the blanket reminded her of the multitude of Stiles’s flannels that she’d stolen over the years and the candles he’d lit brought out the gold flecks in his eyes. Her eyes began to water again (for at least the third time that night) as she approached Stiles and sat down carefully on the blanket. She was sure they looked a little ridiculous, two twenty-somethings dressed to the nines in the middle of the woods having a picnic, but she couldn’t have cared less. The aroma of the food filled the air as Stiles opened up the boxes, causing y/n to moan quietly at the intoxicating smell. On further inspection, she noticed that the boxes had some printed writing on the side. 

“Is this… is this food from the new restaurant downtown?” she asked with disbelief. Stiles grinned proudly and nodded as he gestured to the food in front of him.

“Autentico!” he exclaimed in a terrible Italian accent. y/n giggled before launching herself at him, pulling him in for a bone crushing hug, being careful to avoid getting her dress in the food or candle flames. She pulled back a little after a moment, holding the back of his head as she pressed her lips against his. 

“I love you so much,” she murmured against his lazy grin.

“I love you more, baby. Happy anniversary,” he replied, pressing soft kisses down her jaw in between each word.

“Happy anniversary, Mieczyslaw.”

taglist: @linkpk88​ 

[goldenchan-fx2thepeacock]

Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 4

Aight bitches, this’ll be the first chapter when the title starts to make sense. Dipper and Mabel are complete idiots and manage to get lost in the Ghost Zone trying to find Danny, who knows the place. Also, Tucker and Sam. I’m contemplating making one of them nonbinary, prolly Tucker. Yup. And Sam may or may not have she/they pronouns. I think that’s all. Enjoy my chaos.

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Chapter 4

Danny did not sleep. Skulker, Ember, Johnny and Kitty decided it would be a great idea to wreck havoc. Ghosts do need order. They said that they only did it because they have no leader. Danny suspected Clockwork was behind it, but he was too tired to string together much of a coherent thought. So, goodbye sleep schedule! He’d sleep in Lancer’s class. What was one more detention? 

He greeted Sam and Tucker at the doors. The Pines Twins also showed up.  “Danny, did you get a new girlfriend while we were away?” Sam joked.  “Shutup. I’m not in the mood,” Danny grumbled. “Oh, it’s cranky pants!” Tucker laughed. They seemed to think his fucked up sleep schedule was a joke. “Don’t blame me, blame Skulker and Johnny,” “Those two usually have Kitty and Ember with them,” Sam said. She had a point. “Yeah, yeah. You know the gyst. Anyways, this is Mason and Mabel,” He gestured to the twins. “They accidentally caught me transforming. Also, we have to make a trip to the Ghost Zone,” “Call me Dipper!”  “Once again, I’m not using your stupid nickname,” “Come on Danny, don’t be a dick,” Sam laughed.  “Bold of you to assume I can be one,” Danny snorted. Tucker slung his arms over the other two.  “Only you get to make trans jokes. And maybe not in earshot of Dash,” They pointed at the quarterback. “Eh. I’m the heir to the Ghost Throne. What can he do?” “You’re the what now?” Sam and Tucker yelled in unison. “Clockwork told me yesterday. Also, they’re immune to Time Outs,” “How is that possible?” Sam was confused. Danny didn’t blame them. “We had a run in with Bill Cipher,” Mabel said confidently. “Sounds boring. Why would the guy with powers be called Bill?” “You’re just salty because you got called InvisoBill,” Tucker comforted him. “I have half a mind to reveal myself to the entire school,” “Bill was extremely dangerous,” “Danger dorito!” Mabel chimed in. “You are not helping me take this seriously. Tucker, get off,” Danny shoved Tucker off. They were elbowing him in the ribs.  “Oh come on, you know you like it. Mwah!” Tucker kissed Danny’s cheek. Danny became a tomato.  “Hey! Not in front of the entire school!” He was completely gone. He’d been dating Tucker for about a month now.  “You guys are dating?” Mabel looked heartbroken. What the fuck? “Uhh, yeah. Tucker’s into guys and I’m bi. But we’d prefer not to announce it to the entire school,” “You know what you should announce to the entire school? That you’re Danny Phantom. Only if you take the crown though,” Sam said. “I’m doing it. Jazz said it would be a good idea,” “We’ll need cover then. Dipper, Mabel, you get to guard the portal!” Sam said way too enthusiastically. “They’re new! They know nothing about it!” Danny protested. “Well, if it’s anything like Great Uncle Ford’s portal, we can handle it,” Mabel said.  “That shut down the moment he walked out Mabel,” “My parents’ Ghost Portal has been going strong for two years!” Danny said. “And caused all of the madness in Amity. Never mind half killing you,” Sam said. “That was entirely your fault,” Danny replied. “I concede to that point,” Sam accepted her fate.  “Good. Now, are you guys sure you can handle this?” Danny was skeptical. “Yup!” Mason and Mabel said. 

Sleeping in Lancer’s class was a one way ticket to detention. But what did that matter? At lunch, he ran up to the stage in the caf and transformed in front of the entire school.  “FENTON IS PHANTOM?” “HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!?” “I’VE BEEN CRUSHING ON NERD BOY?” Ah, Paulina.  “Anywho, now that you’re all done panicking, yeah, it’s true. Tell whoever the fuck you want. I’m tired of lies and secrets. Also, I’m trans!” He flew off. He had to deal with a ghost. Val caught up with him before long.  “Are you a complete idiot?!” “Yup. But hey, who gives a fuck. Wes might get a kick out of it,” “You’re going to get yourself killed!” “Been there done that Val,” “Why?!” “Turns out I’m the heir to the Ghost Throne. Who the fuck is gonna mess with the all powerful Ghost King?” “You aren’t yet!” “I will be by the time school is over. Clockwork told me he’d help me out if I needed it,” The GAV came up under him.  “DANIEL FENTON! GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!” His mom yelled. “Nah, I’m good. You know, I’m surprised you didn’t notice your own son DIED,” “Danny, don’t be like that,”  “Don’t be like what Dad? Don’t be dead? Don’t protect Amity from ghosts? Oh! I’ll do you one better, don’t panic when you scream that you’ll rip me apart molecule by molecule? Now if you don’t mind, I didn’t sleep last night and the Box Ghost is back,” He rushed into the fight before they could see the tears.  “Danny!” He heard his mother howl in anguish.  “Hey bub. Fought you yesterday. I’m seriously not in the mood for a fight, so get in the fucking thermos!” He held out the thermos.  “BEWARE!” “SHUT UP!” He yelled and became invisible.  “Danny, we know you’re there,” Mom said.  “SO?! You know, I kinda hoped you would notice, but only Wes was smart enough to notice. I spent two years hiding. Now, I’ve got a Crown of Fire I need to take,” He sped off. There wasn’t gonna be more hiding.  “Wait, like Pariah Dark? Danny, that will corrupt your mind!” “Like being a half ghost has done? Oh, and just FYI, Vlad is half ghost too. Remember Plasmius? Vlad. Have fun!” He sped off for real this time.  “Vladdie’s a ghost?” Dad looked baffled. Danny sped past the school and grabbed the group.  “Was that really the best way to go about that?” Sam said. “You’re going to be all over the news!” Tucker screamed. “Meh. I was already. At least I’m not public enemy one anymore!” He dropped the Twins and sped into the portal. Sam and Tucker had put on the Fenton Phones already.  “Wes is having a field day,” Sam panted.  “Figured he would. Let’s go in,” They walked into Pariah’s Keep.“CLOCKWORK!” “Ah, I see you made the desicion to come,”  “Yup. Does there need to be a ceremony or something? Cause I just announced my identity to the entire school,” “Like a fucking dumbass,” Tucker muttered. “Bold of you to assume I could be anything but,” “Sorry Tuck, Danny’s right,”  “Yay! I can be right for once! Take that Jazz!” “About your dumbassery,” Tucker groaned. “Semantics. Let’s do this,” “You just need to place the crown atop your head, then place the ring on your hand. Right hand, ring finger,” “Does it have to be just like that?” “Bad things happen if you do it any other way,”  “Okay,” He sighed and did as told. He shivered as the crown became ice and a black billowing cape came off his shoulders. “Weird,” “Dude, you’re the Ghost King!” Tucker screamed.  “Ahh! Advanced hearing! Where’d that come from?” Danny covered his ears.  “When you become king, all of your existing abilities become amplified and you gain new ones,” “Oh yay. More powers to master,”  “Okay, this is great and all, but what does he do now?” Sam said.  “My ears,” Danny cried.  “Sorry,” She whispered.  “Your eyesight will also be advanced. You won’t notice it much here, but in the human world, it will become obvious,” “And painful to adjust to,” Danny muttered.  “Brrr. Danny, it’s freezing,” Tucker shivered.  “If I was bad at controlling that before, you think I can now?”  “Sorry dude. Let’s head back,” “I need to tell the people my first rule real quick,” “What’s that?” “Don’t wreak havoc in the human world. They can still go, but don’t do anything that endangers the humans,” “Huh. Good plan,” Sam shivered. “You sure you can’t control that?” “I’m doing what I normally do to fix it times 10!” “So it could be colder?” Tucker shivered. “Go home and get jackets,” Danny sighed. He pointed and a portal opened. “The fuck?!”  “Congrats dude, you can make portals!” Tucker clapped. “At least we won’t have to use the Fenton one anymore,” Sam shivered into her shirt. Danny concentrated and made portals directly into their houses. He grinned. 

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Dipper and Mabel heard footsteps coming into the basement and had no place to hide, so they jumped into the portal. The place was terrifying.  “Mabel, this is freaky,” Dipper shivered. It was oddly cold.  “You think Grunkle Ford felt this way when he travelled through dimensions?” “Not that he told me,” They both shivered. A strange vehicle came rushing past.  “Was it always this cold in here Mads?” Jack Fenton said.  “Not that I remember,” She shivered. The temperature fluctuated randomly.  “He’s in here somewhere!” Jack exclaimed and sped off.  “That’s Danny’s parents! We gotta find him!” They followed the strange machine. 

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Sam and Tucker took five minutes to get jackets. He’d managed to grab Jazz in the mean time.  “Hoodie. I’m not wearing the stupid jumpsuit with this cape,”  “Since when do you have a fashion sense?” Sam laughed. “Since never. I just like the hoodie more,” He pulled the hood up. The temperature went up. “Hey! That’s neat,” It went down again. “Heh,” “Don’t get excited until you figure this out better,” Tucker groaned.  “Deal,” He laughed nervously. “Okay, how do I get them all to come here? I’m not the greatest at this,” “Just yell announcement. That usually makes them teleport directly here,” Clockwork said. Danny obliged. His voice was really loud.  “I guess that’s another one to add to the list,” He chuckled. All the ghosts in the Zone teleported to his feet. They grumbled. “Uh, hi guys. I’m not very good at this royalty thing, so I’m only gonna really give you one new rule. I’ll get rid of all the stupid rules later. Just, uh, don’t wreak havoc in the human world. Don’t endanger humans. Like, you can still go, but avoid being dangerous,”  “King Phantom, are you sure that’s the best plan? You are going to enforce rules that protect us from the humans too, aren’t you?” Dora’s voice rang through. “Oh shit. The whole guys in white incident a while back. Yeah, I’ll come up with something,” He rubbed his temples. “Also, can I get some help learning how to make it less freezing all the time?” “Of course Great One. The people of the Far Frozen would love to help,” Frostbite said. “Thanks Frostbite?” He grinned. At least until he saw the Spectre Speeder pull up. Fuck.  “Look at all these ghosts! I’ve gotta catch a few!” His dad yelled. The ghosts looked terrified.  “Hey! You aren’t going to do that! HOW DARE YOU?!” Danny sped down to the Speeder. “Danny, I can’t believe you aren’t trying to capture these ghosts for science!” Jack said. The world became very, very cold.  “These are sentient people that you just decided to barge in on! You’re always like this! And it’s my job to protect them just as much as I protected you! GET OUT OF THE ZONE NOW!” He screamed.  “Danny, calm down. We just want to help you,” “No you don’t. I won’t let you endanger ghosts for ‘science’. It’s cruel and wrong. Would you do that to a human?” “Of course not. But ghosts aren’t sentient. Their emotions aren’t real. Just displays put on to convince you that they have them,”  “HOW. DARE. YOU! You have no right to barge in here and threaten these people. Some of them may have harmed you, but the way you act like they’re nothing, like they aren’t standing here right now, is horrible. This is Frostbite,” He grabbed Frostbite. “ He leads a stable society in the Far Frozen. He’s never left the Ghost Zone and never once harmed me. You know what the first thing he did when he met me? He gave me a hug. And you would torture him just for being a ghost. You think you know everything, but you know NOTHING! LEAVE NOW!” “Danny, is this really how you feel?” Maddie looked sad.  “Get. Out. I’m destroying the portal on your way out. If I EVER find you back here, I will not hesitate to cause harm,” “The crown’s already begun to corrupt you!” Jack protested.  “No, my views haven’t changed. You hurt ghosts. You hurt me! I’m trying my hardest all the time all you care about is your beliefs,”  “They’re true!” “No, most of them aren’t. You don’t even bother talking to a ghost. Ghost have feelings, feel pain, have a society. Maybe it’s different than what you’re used to, but that doesn’t invalidate it,” Danny sighed again. “Just leave,” He turned around and flew back up to the chunk of land.  “Danny...” “DIDN’T HEAR ME?! LEAVE!” He whipped around and yelled. 

Sam, Tucker and Jazz followed him into the castle. He stared at Pariah’s sarcophagus.  “Danny, I know that was difficult, but you were right to do it,” Jazz put her hands on his shoulders. He must’ve been freezing.  “They really don’t listen. I have no clue what I’m doing, but I do know that the ghosts have a right to my protection,” He heard screaming. “You know what’s weird? If I close my eyes tight enough, I can see all over the Zone. And I think the Twins got lost in here,” “Let’s go get them,” 

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The Fentons came rushing past again. They didn’t seem to have Danny though.  “I can’t believe he’s protecting ghosts!” Maddie sobbed. “He’s gonna destroy our life’s work!” “I know,” All of a sudden, Danny appeared before them.  “Hey guys. Get lost?” He smiled. The crown floating above his head serving as a daunting reminder.  “Yeah, we were trying to find you to warn you about your parents,” “I dealt with them,” The temperature fluctuated again. “Sorry, my hands are cold. But you need to get home,” He opened a portal and they flew threw it. He teleported away. 

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He went down to the basement and destroyed the portal. His parents looked mortified.  “Finally. I won’t be constantly reminded how I died,” He sighed. Maddie and Jack said nothing. “Humph,” He teleported away and made a portal back to the Zone.

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Aight. That do be a chapter bitches. I’ll make a tag for it now. Just the acrynom, but meh.

[narika-a]

I’m Utterly In Love With You

Part 1 (It’s really not that necessary to read it to understand what’s going on); Part 2; Part 3; Part 4

Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Reader

Summary: Your parents gave you up so you had no choice but to become his wife.

Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst

Word count: 1,861

“Stay with me, like this” were the first words you remembered when you woke up. You looked around and soon realized you were alone in the room. His room. You couldn’t see him after what happened, it would be so embarrassing. You quickly slipped out of the bed and went downstairs, carefully checking if he’s not there. You couldn’t find him anywhere, so you went to the kitchen. After finally discovered where the mugs were you made yourself a coffee but couldn’t get yourself to drink it because you kept remembering that you actually went to him yourself. You set the cup down and decided to make one for him as well, maybe he will come back soon.

“Hoho, so now where even on that level where you make coffee for me,” Jongdae cooed and you almost spilled the coffee.

“Jongdae! Don’t scare me like that!” but he just continued his speech.

“That’s understandable though, since we just slept together,” he said taking the cup out of your hand.

“We didn’t sleep together…”

“What do you mean? We did! You were lying right there, looking all cute,” he smiled, making you blush.

“Agh! You know what I mean!” you said stomping away. You stopped in the doorway. “Wait. Were you watching me sleep?”

You caught him red handed. He just averted his look and sat down at the table.

“No, I… Of course I wasn’t” he mumbled, taking a sip. “Okay! I was. I admit it but you looked so adorable I just had to.”

You covered your face with your hands. Him and his cute, flirting nature, your heart can’t take it. Wait did you just thought he’s cute? You peeked through your fingers and saw him patting the chair near him but you sat on the opposite side, well you can at least finish your coffee with him. This setting reminded you of the time you signed those papers but you quickly brushed it off.

“What got you so scared last night that you came running to me?” he asked. You never told him anything about yourself, so you wondered if you should share this as well.

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“No. It’s okay,” you can’t keep it to yourself forever, maybe you will feel better when you speak about it. “It was my sister.”

His eyes fixed on you. He was suddenly very interested.

“Your sister? What about her?”

“She… She died,” you finally said, your grip on the mug tightening, if you would have kept your eyes on him, you would have noticed that he wasn’t any bit surprised by this.

“I’m sorry,” you heard him say in a quiet voice.

“It was a long time ago but I still think about her some days…” you closed your eyes and breathed out. You can’t start crying now. “Okay, let’s stop being all emotional. I’m more interested in all this,” you said, gesturing to the area around you.

“What do you mean?” he asked. “I’m not getting divorced if you’re thinking about that.”

“That’s not what I mean. I was going to ask what’s going to happen now?”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about as well,” he said, taking out a key and sliding it along the table surface to you.

“What’s this?” you questioned.

“A key. You can go anywhere you want, I’m sure you won’t try to run away but since that incident with Jimin I can’t let you go wandering alone, so it will be with me or one the bodyguards. Other than this, enjoy yourself,” he smiled.

You picked up the key. You certainly didn’t expect this, well having a bodyguard is not very fun either but he finally gave you the freedom you longed so much.

▲▼▲▼▲

The other few months went by so fast and you two lived more like roommates. He didn’t force you to do anything you didn’t feel like doing but his flirting never ceased. Now that you could actually go out, it all felt so normal. After a long time you felt happy and content with your life and he noticed that you smile more often when with him. You weren’t bored but you wanted to repay him somehow so one day you asked him about work.

“I have all this money, at least let me treat you.”

“You do it all the time anyway,” you pouted.

“Don’t you want to study instead?” and your eyes beamed up at his suggestion. He thought about what he said for a while and then changed his mind immediately. “No, you know what, it’s too dangerous. There’s too many guys in the campus. Nope, no way.”

“Ahh don’t give me false hope!”

“You know you can always work with me,” he said.

And you knew you could, he always told you that because that way you would be with him for most of the day. He spoke about his job often and didn’t hide anything from you but you wanted nothing to do with that part of his life. It was dark and cruel. Violence is not something you could get used to, so you refused for seemingly 100th time. Staying inside, you started to enjoy cooking again and despite him liking it very much, he often took you out on dates to such expensive places you never even dreamed. One evening, you were reading on your computer and noticed an article that had you in it. “Famous CEO finally taken.” You looked at the photo in the article from one of these dates you two had.

“A CEO?” you thought. “Well that’s one way to hide what’s he’s actually doing.”

You were so immersed in the article that you jumped up when Jongdae burst into your room through the door.

“Oh my God! Jongdae!”

“Y/N come with me, quick.” he said taking your hand and dragging you out of the room.

“Where are we going? When did you come back?” he usually worked really long hours and you were genuinely surprised to see him this early. He took you out to the balcony. The sky was clear and very beautiful.

“Come,” he said, guiding you to the railing.

“Why are we here exactly?” you asked him.

He smiled to you and looked down. You two stayed silent for a moment before you spoke again.

“Jongdae did something happen?”

“No, everything is okay. I just like being near you.”

He turned and looked at you.

“You know,” he said, taking something out of his jacket’s inner pocket. “I never got you that wedding ring.”

He opened the little box revealing a beautiful golden ring inside. You had no idea what’s happening.

“Is this a joke?”

“It’s certainly not, you signed those papers yourself,” he laughed.

“I can’t.”

“Y/N please. It may be just a ring to you but it would mean so much to me if you wore it, so can I?” he said taking your hand, he held it for a while before you finally nodded. He then took another ring out and you chuckled.

“You want me to put it on for you?” you asked and then slipped it on his finger.

It felt so strange actually wearing one and only now you realized that you are indeed married to this man.

“Happy?”

“I’m always happy with you,” he said, interlocking your fingers with yours. He stared deep into your eyes.

“Y/N,” he finally spoke. “You may have already noticed it but I’m utterly and extremely in love with you.”

You started blushing immediately after his sudden confession, especially since he was holding you so close. You felt kind of bad you couldn’t say the same to him yet or maybe it was just your stubbornness but in the heat of the moment you couldn’t stop yourself and wrapped your hands around his neck and tugged him into a kiss. The kiss was sweet but also passionate at the same time, you felt his hands slide down to your waist and you two had no intentions of stopping when somebody cleared their throat behind you. Jongdae pulled away.

“Am I interrupting something?” you looked at the man who had cat like eyes standing near the door to the balcony.

“Yes you fucking are, don’t you have eyes Minseok?” Jongdae was angry and annoyed, a side of him you didn’t enjoy seeing.

“You know, I don’t even care that I interrupted. All of us were trying to contact you since morning, where the hell were you?”

“Are you seriously here because of that?”

“No. I’m here because it’s urgent, something came up and you’re needed.”

“Can’t you do this without me?”

“We can’t,” the man glared at him. “All of us need to be there, so you better come with, you’re getting on my nerves as it is. I will be waiting outside, you have 3 minutes,” he said and walked away.

You looked at Jongdae who was trying his best to control himself.

“He ruined the mood and I was starting to enjoy myself,” he said, checking his clock. “It’s about 10 pm now, so don’t wait for me because I will probably only be back in the morning. We can continue what we started then,” he smirked and kissed your forehead before going out himself.

You stood there confused, still not sure what happened. Did you seriously just kiss him? You must be out of your mind. You looked at the ring on your finger and smiled to yourself. You had to admit it, the kiss was pretty good. You looked at the stars for a while but since you had nothing better to do after that, you went to sleep. You woke up early and he still hadn’t come back.  You have decided to spend your time cleaning the apartment while he was gone because you refused to hire maids. You rarely went to his office but since you were at it why not clean it as well. You piled up the documents neatly on his table when you noticed something laying on the floor, you bent down and picked it up. It was a photo. Your photo. Way back from high school. Where did he get something like that? You wanted to stand up but bumped your head into the bottom of the table and a bunch of other papers and documents fell down from underneath it. You looked at them and quickly realized it was you. All you. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing or rather you didn’t want to believe. There was your school club activities, addresses of all the places you have lived in, your routes home, day jobs, your friends list, parents, photos as young as teenager. Anything and everything it’s possible to know about you. You picked up another photo. It was your sister. Near the picture you saw something why all of this was hidden in the first place. You were studying and rereading through everything over and over again when you heard the familiar footsteps and that sweet voice call out to you.

“Y/N are you in there?”

~ Part 6 ~

[peacekash]

I think this is a spritual breakthrough?

or Im finally coming to reality of me.

Having mommy and daddy issues is one thing but realizing you have to let it go sucks.

lol im not giving much context bc noone is listening and its fucking tumblr...but hey, why not 🤷🏽‍♀️just a lil

today felt different for me. it is usual for me to go through highs and lows within my close relationships,especially recently since I was in “da clink” 😂( im sorry i cant take myself serious) but ultimately inpatient (on my fucking birthday! but that is another story for another day) my relationships with ppl have been shaky,my already pretty low self esteem hit a whole another level of low low, and I, for the first time felt a genuine depressive slump... like not taking showers, not sleeping, not having the energy to speak,etc. I’ve been super anxious most of my life (even before i knew what that meant) so I was use to being sad but only on the inside bc ppl were gonna think i was crazy,crazy angry outburst all of dat.So this type of illness was new to me. that im trying to cope with and treat carefully.

today, my mom was in a good mood.well she’s been like this for a weeks but i know its not gonna last. it never does. I use to feed into her happiness streak and depend on her for my happy and ultimately sadness, and blame myself. And recently I’ve been doing my own thing and not really feed into any of her moods and she ended up adapting to this distance but mutual vibe for each other, which sucks bc me and my mom were so close.but in these Quarantine times and having to spend more time together, I have been cooking, doing more around the house, and helping her and ultimately being her vent person, but this time im not taking it personal. idk if im been going to my therapist too much or im actually learning, how to think for myself and honestly it feels different and for months Ive been keeping more to myself not hiding anything but fixing and venting on my own. Anyways back to today, being woken up at 10am on a saturday by your mom asking you to go the store with her is a feeling everybody knows, you dont wanna go but go and you’re going to help your mom bc you love your mom. And i know going to walmart in these times when its honestly chaos and very triggering for an anxiety riddled person like myself,but here we are driving to walmart. I love when she’s happy if though i didnt want to go, i still wanted to help. now my mom does things where she a) complains about how i “make her feel like she needs to rush bc of my attitude” that i dont have b) and leaves me with the buggy with 500 items in it having to chase across this busy store, I can only say im sorry and oh my fault so many times! it weirdly small and unnessscary things to be annoyed by this but im been feeling and thinking deep lately and it bothered me even more than when i was little kid (and i use to get hot !!) but now im a “composed” “functional” adult and now i see this as another example of her not being concerned about anyone but herself,especially the ppl who care about her the most and today I didnt snap but I was stern when i told to her to “stop having me chase you around the store,please?” Now you must think im a drag to be around (i might be)but around her i try to be my very best and im always invested in what ever she’s interested that day. it got to be weird once we we’re driving home and i was cooking dinner. My mom said something that sounds like what i exclaimed to my very gracious boyfriend who puts up with me ❤️, when im feeling low. “... I feel like noone cares that im overwhelmed *about her new business venture*and this is why i feel discouraged “. then I say “ remember what we talked about taking one thing at a ti-“ “we’re in the house the whole my business should be up and running, im slacking... noone wants to help me” and i instantly felt a tight gut feeling from hearing the similarities of our toxic self bantering and even more sadly how she handles it. noone wants to help but you dont ask (but oh she shouldnt have to ask🙄) or when ppl do help (like me, im currently making website and trying to do all her social media managing) you slight them don’t appreciate them. apparently noone is helping her so she has to hire someone? I asked her for what? what else do you need help with” “my social media” i look at her confused bc that what i was suppose to do but she told she got it, and when she’s introuble im there to help. then after she let out her toxic semi hateful speech without any interrupted, it’s like she empty herself out on me to asorb and then mood switches to happy and joyful again. I did my usual cordial walk downstairs to my space, not to fast so you dont seem upset about anything she said but “she knows whats best” thinks even for herself,but hey who am I to judge.

my relevation: doing my rountine facetime calls with my long distance lover ❤️,casually describing my day, I feel a tight gut feeling when (and see I knew i was down today but idk what for) i starting talking about how my mom was acting and what she said and I made the connection. I get the unbearable self doubt and pressuring idealogy from her. I made it journey to not end up like her or in her position in life (not saying she is a terrible but she is the most confident beautiful black women who is caring and thoughtful. she is just unpredictable) I started to wonder if I am perceived this way to my close ppl? but instead of cursing ppl out and being angry I just cry myself to sleep? ... them my tears im my eyes started to well up, which pissed me off bc im tired of crying gurl 🙄😂. bc I realized how I was happy or comfortable at all today, with my mom. she is my closest person to me,she knew everything about me and i was her only true friend who listened and care about everything she said or do when things that really hurt me. i felt this strain in our relationship was my fault... bc that’s what i was told in inpatient and even in therapy by her. no matter what anyone said or prove to me, I was gonna fold my emotions on her, but it is. we are healthy for each other anymore and as much as i want to make it better, I know i cant be under her anymore, i cant be at her beck and call, it all made sense to me. but what made me really sad, is that she doesn’t even realize she hurt self, by cutting off her friends or anyone who wanted to help and got too close, she thinks she always knows what best for herself and everyone around, when the smoke clears and she realizes she by herself and as much as i dont want to leave her to be alone and feel like she has noone, I will never be myself. I feel like i am my own person. but why do i feel so shitty?

ahh fuck it’s 3 am