#consent is mandatory

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

"We need to teach boys not to touch girls without consent" No. We need to teach everyone not to touch anyone without consent, regardless of gender.

Sexual harassment and sexual assault should not be a gendered topic.

(OP is a minor. Don't be weird)

[jelicoxoxo]

I absolutely hate when people refuse to acknowledge the fact that writing the reader asking the character to stop in a smut fic and then having that character ignore them now turns their fic into an SA fantasy, regardless of how much they like to fight and claim that it’s not or call it something different to sugar coat it

refusing to tag your fics properly is irritating asf too, call it what it is and stop making loopholes around it lmao.

[dd-writes]

You want me to put you in subspace? Nah! too vanilla. How about I bring out your most primal fight or flight instincts, watch you make a mockery of yourself trying to grasp at some semblance of control over your own body, emotions and instincts as I slowly advance towards you and show you just how useless all of that is. Get a firm grasp on your body, pin you down and fuck you senseless. How about we do that instead?

[imfinereallyy]

I just read @cranberrymoons “get it off your chest” on ao3, and it’s a wonderful short fic about enthusiastic consent and everyone should go read it (if you’re 18+ and okay with explicit content of course).

But this really got me thinking about consent within fics and how we spread that information. I would love to see more fics in which we have a theme or at least an underlying point of enthusiastic consent.

Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of wonderful fics that do a good job of using dubious consent in order to teach about the importance of consent itself, and I am not shaming anyone who reads fics that contain content of dubious consent (or dead dove). I have some personal faves that have some of these tags, or other tags that are not for the lighthearted. Dark fics are my go to usually. (the importance of properly tagging your work is emphasized heavy) Fan fiction is a wonderful way to express, heal and bond through characters and often we use our own experiences (as I am guilty of this too) to write these stories. And it’s absolutely gorgeous, a part of our healing processes and sometimes just out right fun.

But there is a big opportunity being missed on not only the importance of consent, but how it can be encouraging and make sexual encounters (in real life and fiction) fun and sexy. Now I know fan fiction is a form of escapism and some would argue it’s not a teaching point, but hey everything is an opportunity to learn something new, even in our fantasies.

I’m not really sure if I’m wording this all right, and maybe it’s a bit embarrassing to be so forward about the importance of enthusiastic consent is significant to me, but I believe in being raw and honest with my followers, friends and audience. @cranberrymoons fic really made me think about how often we dismiss consent in fics, and how important it is especially in the bisexual/queer community.

There is a very specific self doubt that comes with experiencing queerness for the first time, or with a partner in general (wether they are new or not). The insistent need to feel like you have to say yes to things, or you’re supposed to say yes because you don’t know what you’re doing, or you don’t want them to question your queerness, or the worst: no one’s ever asked before. Sex should be fun, not something you feel anxious about. Fearful maybe if that’s your specific kink, and have discussed it with your partner. But it should never make feel anxious or pushed beyond your personal boundaries.

It made me incredibly happy to see a fic that had good consent content. I’m sure there are plenty of more (feel free to recommend them!) but the more the better. And this isn’t just applying to sexual content but all forms of different kinds of boundaries.

I’m sure no one really cares about my little rant, but in the end this my round about way to saying thank you to all fic writers who emphasize the importance of consent. Even if you don’t think it’s important, just know that it makes my day.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ stay safe, look at tags, happy reading ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

[dollymeup]

Periodic kink blog reminder that:

Real sexism is not sexy.

Real sexual harassment is not hot, it’s awful.

Real women don’t owe you anything for simply existing.

If you’re doing anything without consent, you are objectively wrong, vile, and a predator.

If you disagree with any of the above, unfollow me and seek professional help.

[fayes-fics]

Lol, I'm so sorry. I hope this won't get flagged or anything, because it's clearly just erm educational art...

I finished reading part 3 of the 'Lessons-Verse' series earlier and it reminded me of something I saw in the Torture Museum.

Obviously I am compelled to share this as it's too perfect for 'Lessons Taught':

(The whole thing, almost every item and illustration, was very perverse - clearly just kinksters before they had a word for it).

Anyway, so the ones holding the instruments in the pic; who do you think is that AU's Ant and which is Ben? 🤔

Hi there 🫶

So… I can’t tell if this meant to be a lighthearted ask but I’m going to say something earnestly as I feel it’s important.

Nothing in the Lessons verse should ever be seen as akin to any depiction of torture. And I’m worried if anyone has interpreted it as such. Torture is non consenting pain infliction against the will of the recipient. I would personally never write sexual torture.

Everything in good, healthy bdsm/kink should be the exact opposite - it’s about willing and consenting participation in an experience that, yes, may involve a degree of pain/discomfort, but only so much as it invokes pleasure for the recipient and/or is something they have explicitly agreed to. That is clearly not what is happening in the picture above.

I have tried in Lessons, and all of my kink content, to show responsible dominant/submissive dynamics. Setting out safe words, colour coding system and being respectful of boundaries (you may recall, reader at one point says ‘yellow’ and their response to that is instant). Trust is the underlying factor with any form of play where there is a power exchange. If a submissive is not getting pleasure from an experience or have a concern they have the power to use an agreed upon code or safe word that is respected and all activity ceases until consent can be reestablished. Nothing in torture is about consent.

I’m sorry if it seems my response here is too much, but I’m worried there are a lot of people reading kink content who perhaps do not fully understand the dynamics involved.

If anyone has any questions about this, feel free to ask and I will answer as best I’m able, but I also encourage you all to research and, if you choose to participate in kink, only do so if it is responsible and respectful. Please never submit to something or someone (or subject anyone else to something) unwanted, that is not consent, it’s abuse.

Thank you for reading and sorry for the soapbox moment, but it felt important.

🫶🫶

[itgetsbetterproject]

PSA: Asking someone for consent in a sexual relationship doesn't have to "kill the mood."

There's lots of ways to ask what someone is into and what they're comfortable with before you get intimate!

Both partners feeling safe is key.

More tips from Melina and Dr. Lex in our Queer Sex Ed series - watch it here!

[7-ratsinatrenchcoat]

this is random asf but if you can't think of a sexy way to ask for consent you're not trying hard enough

[fluffygamernerd]

Friendly reminder that until they tell you they enjoy degradation, assume they don’t. Consent is sexy.

I can’t do degradation even if they like it…I appreciate chub on people too much to be mean about it.