#constance source of happiness

[maraudersftw]

I'm going to need everyone to drop everything and scream about this gorgeous jily art by @constancezin that she drew for Tracing You 💗 Thank you so SO much, I'm truly honoured!

Genuinely incoherent but I'll ramble more in the tags

[pynkfairyheart]

Pairings: connie x black reader

Warnings: smut 18+ Connie's a lil toxic, mentions of a gun, pretty angsty

pt.2 to birthday girl but can be read as a standalone

Miss you

Constance Springer. The man who was once the source of your happiness though recently the source of your frustration and headaches.

“I just don't get it, Con. You take me on these amazing dates, buy me anything that catches my attention, and say you wanna spend the rest of your life with me, yet when I ask to publicly announce we’re together, which I shouldn't have to, you always brush it aside.” You spoke as calmly as possible. Though considering this was the 4th time this week you were having this conversation your calm tone resembled shouting.

It had been five months since your birthday. Five months since Connie gave you the best gift you could ever think of. Himself.

The first four months felt as if you were on cloud nine. The entire duration it was as if you were conjoined at the hip. Connie had to make a couple of drops? There you were in his passenger seat watching a movie or using his card to pay for the large quantity of your cart.

You needed to go make up a missed exam? Connie was waiting in his car with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. The only time you weren't seen together was if he was doing something he didn't want you involved in or if he was out buying you secret lavish gifts such as the car he got you a week after your birthday. Life was great.

It wasn't til you were at your nail appointment with Mika where she nearly cut you with her clippers from shock the moment you brought up your relationship with Connie, that you realized no one knew about it.

At first, you were confused. How could no one know? You were always together but the more you thought about it you started to understand. Whenever you were out he wasn't as affectionate as when it was just the two of you, just a few touches that could easily be considered friendly, but you just brushed it off as him not being comfortable with PDA.

Even when you went on dates he'd buy the entire venue or restaurant out so it'd be just you two or would plan the nicest dates at the house, either way, no one saw you on dates as a couple.

You thought about it for a while before it finally ate you up and you just had to ask. His response was the reason shit went left.

“Whatchu mean let people know we’re together? Ion want people in our business. I'm yours and you're mine, that's all that matters” He brushed it off with a kiss on your forehead before running to go get some eggs around the corner. He was only gone for ten minutes yet in that time frame you went through hundreds of different reasons as to why he responded that way.

At first, you were confused. Then, you were trying to reassure yourself he's right as long as we know then we straight. But immediately after that thought came anger why the fuck doesn't he want people to know? Am I the fuckin side chick?

By the time Connie came back you were fuming. You trusted Connie, the night he asked you to be his he promised you he'd never do anything to hurt you yet you couldn't deny how suspicious this was. He barely had time to lock the door behind him before you started with your questions.

“You cheating on me Constance?”

“What?” He almost gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned, looking at you as if you had said the stupidest shit ever which in his mind you did.

“You heard me. Are you cheating?” You followed him into the kitchen of his apartment.

“No [☆] I'm not cheating. I needa take you to the ER? Cause it sounds like you hit your head while I was gone”

“Then why don't you wanna tell anyone?”

“About us?”

“Duh”

“I already told you, mami, I don't want people all up in our business”

That was two weeks ago and you guys were nowhere near in a better place. By no means were you insecure. You knew Connie loved you and only you but you wanted others to know as well. It's not like you wanted to leak one of your many sex tapes on IG. You just wanted at least your friend group to know you were together. Connie wasn't having it though.

“Mama lower your tone” He groaned. Inked hands rubbing his face from frustration.

“Just tell me, Con. Why don't you want anyone to know?”

“Is it wrong to wanna keep our relationship private? I love you princess but you buggin’ for real. Drop it”

“You know what. Fuck this, nd fuck you too. There's a big fucking difference between private and secret.” You slammed his bedroom door. This was too much. You couldn't take it anymore; it was as if he was ashamed of you. You loved Connie, you really, really loved him but this hurt, the constant drop of your heart whenever he let go of your hand the moment you stepped out of his apartment complex or whenever a girl flirted with him in front of the group but there was nothing you could do. You were done. No amount of love could make you settle for anything less than you knew you deserved.

Despite your teary eyes you managed to pull yourself together. Grabbing your bag, you packed as much as possible before finally exiting the room.

Connie was in the middle of rolling a blunt when he saw you walk out, he would have been convinced that his heart was lying on the couch when he stood up if it wasn't for the loud thumping in his ears.

“Where are you going?” He stood in your way

“Connie please move” You sniffled

“No, not until you tell me where you're going. Please [☆] lo siento, mami, por favor, no te vayas please don't go” His voice cracked as reality hit him. Dropping to his knees, his hands gripped the soft flesh of your hips.

“I promise to be better, I promise. I will call everyone on my phone and tell them about us right now, please don't go” At this point, you had to look away. His tear-stricken face and Spanish almost had you fold.

“We'll work this out ma, estaré mejor, lo prometo I'll be better, I promise”

“No, we can't Connie. Not right now” And with that, you left.

A month had passed so far. It was rough in the beginning. He blew your phone up 24/7 to the point where you had to block him. You couldn't eat, and whenever you did have the energy to stay awake you did nothing but scroll on your phone, your thumb always finding the photo album where you stored all pictures of Connie.

Sasha and Mikasa finally had enough, while Mika was the only one you told Sasha had a pretty good idea after she went to visit Connie only to find him in the same state as you, maybe even worse. Deciding you needed to leave the walls of your apartment and have fun, they finally convinced you to go out. Taking a couple of pregame shots while shaking ass in the mirror, your outfit leaving nothing to the imagination as you finally felt ready to face reality.

By the time you had arrived at the party, the drinks started to kick in and you grabbed the first sexy guy you saw and dragged him to the dance floor.

Unknown to you Connie was also at the party, standing in the corner as he made a few deals. He looked tired, and he was. The moment the door closed behind you he broke down. Ignoring all of the calls and texts he got from clients as he sat there. He was angry. Angry at you for leaving him but mostly angry at himself for fucking up.

When Connie finally caught sight of you it was as if someone had finally flipped the switch on throughout his body. His heart sped up, his posture straightened and his dick twitched at the sight of your body in the dress.

His dick wasn't the only thing twitching. When it finally registered to Connie that you were letting some random guy touch you as you whined on him, his eye twitched and his hand immediately went to his gun.

He was furious. With zero fucks he approached you, the barrel of his gun pressed against the guy who you were currently throwing it back on.

When you no longer felt the swaying of the man behind you, you turned to be met with the fear-frozen stranger and Connie whispering something in his ear. You didn't have time to ask what was going on before the guy scurried off and Connie roughly grabbed your arm, dragging you out of the house party.

Despite the fact you were no longer together and he had no right to drag you away, you stayed quiet. Connie rarely got angry but when he did you knew it was best to just stay quiet.

“Get in the fucking car [☆]” He threw open the door. You were convinced the thong you had on was completely drenched after those six words. His voice was low and threatening and you almost felt disgusting from how turned on you were. Almost. With one look into his rage-filled eyes, you got in the car, the door slamming behind you when he was sure you were safely in.

He quickly got in, tire tracks marking the ground as he sped off. It was silent for a minute before you decided to speak, once his grip on the steering wheel loosened and the color returned to his knuckles.

“Connie?” You faced him, eyes burning into the side of his head as he kept his dark stare on the road.

“Connie, come on. You can't just kidnap me and then not speak. Pull over and talk to me now” You huffed.

With a roll of his eyes, he pulled into a deserted parking lot.

“Hello? Either you get to talking or I'm getting out nd calling an Uber”

“No the fuck you're not” He groaned loudly, eyes meeting yours.

“Then talk” You borderline yelled

If Connie's hair was long enough to grip he'd have a couple bald spots from how frustrated he was. He gave you both time to cool down before he spoke.

“Look I'm sorry for dragging you away, and for threatening your lil boyfriend-”

“He's not my boyfriend”

“He's not?”

“No. Continue your apology” You rolled your eyes.

Your response had a smirk forming on his face. He missed you so much, even your attitude.

“I missed you ma. I'm sorry for dragging you away. I'm also sorry for how things ended.” He grabbed your hand.

“I now understand your feelings and your concerns and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like I was ashamed of you or if there was another woman. You're the love of my life ma, this past month has been pure hell. I need you baby. Please take me back.” His hands were shaking as they held yours securely. It was rare to see Connie cry, and the sight of his tear-streaked face made your heart ache. He really did love you.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you asked the one question that started it all.

“Be real Con. Why didn't you want anyone to know?”

With a sigh, he rubbed his facial hair.

“I was afraid you'd realize you could do better”

“What? What made you think that Con?”

“I sell drugs for a living, mami, I'm involved with a shit ton of dangerous people. I was afraid when others found out they'd start telling you things about me and you'd realize you can do so much better”

“Oh, Connie” You could no longer resist the need to be close to him. Maneuvering yourself so you sat in his lap you cupped his face as your eyes searched his.

“Papa there is no one better. I love you so much, Connie. There is nothing anyone could ever say to make me want or love you less because I know you. I know how much you care and love those around you. There is no one better, Connie.”

For some time, the two of you were wrapped in each other's arms as you faced your emotions.

When you both were calm, you finally dared to look into his eyes. The energy shift resembling the one from your birthday.

“Con” You slowly inched your face closer to his

“I'm sorry for all the hurt I put us through mami” His hand wrapped around your neck

“Déjame compensarte let me make it up to you” He closed the space between you.

It felt like the first breath taken after being underwater for a long time. You felt alive, felt loved. The once slow kiss grew into something more passionate. Both of you needy, as you fiend for dominance in the heated exchange.

Ultimately you lost the battle when his hands gripped your hips tightly as if to assure himself you weren't leaving again. It wasn't soon after that you found yourself in the back of his car with your legs resting on his shoulder as he drilled into you.

He littered kisses on your ankle as his grip on your hips tightened. His thick cock stretching you out had your eyes rolling back and moans of ecstasy coming out of your agape mouth.

“Yeah? You doing so good fa me ma. You miss this? Miss how good I fuck you?” His thumb found its way to your clit.

“Fuck, Connie” You whined. Attempting to push his hand away from the sensitive bud.

“Answer me princesa or ima stop” He warned

“Yes, Connie- mhmph I miss it so bad papi oh my god” Your velvety walls squeezed him tight.

"Fuuuck. Don't ever leave me again, you hear me? I can't take it, baby, I love you too much. T-try that shit again nd Imma make you watch while I put a bullet in between his eyes. Understand?” His pace increased.

God that shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did. You were convinced you could have come on the spot, the added pressure on your carotids when you didn't answer immediately wasn't any help.

“Y-yes Con, I promise it won't happen again” You managed to say in between the moans and whimpers that you no longer had the energy to contain.

“Keep squeezing me, mami. I'm so fuckin close” He groaned, hand no longer on your neck as it rested against the steamy windows to stable himself.

The atmosphere of the car was pure filth. Your moans bounced off the windows, the sloshing sound of your wet pussy and slapping skin that created the creamy ring around the base of cock topping it all off.

His thrusts were slowly getting sloppy, you were just squeezing him so tight.

“C-Con” You managed to gasp out, the marks he littered on your neck to suppress his whimpers, having the coil in your belly tighten.

“I know mama, let go fa me” He groaned.

That instant you came, eyes rolling to the back of your head for a quick second as your cream and small spurts of squirt leaked from your pussy.

“Shit mama” He panted, dick twitching as he painted your walls with his cum.

Connie being the lover boy he was despite repeatedly denying it whispered apologies, and sweet promises into your ear as you came down from your high.

“I'm sorry mami, I promise to be better” He kissed you softly as if you were in a fairytale before whispering in your ear.

“But don't think just cus we're good now, that I'm not gon tear that ass up when we get home for giving that loser a taste of what's mine.”

I dont know how i feel about this one buuutttt all thanks to @masterofthepp for giving me this idea. Hopefully it meets your standards babes. As always any feedback is welcome. mwah

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

a little self-indulgent, but may I request Full headcanons of M6 reacting (and accommodating?) to MC who's easily jealous and possessive due to their trauma? (for example, MC got cheated on before and now they can't bear the thought of M6 doing the same to them, if it makes sense.)

thanks!

The Arcana HCs: When MC struggles with jealousy

Julian

Cheating simply Does Not Occur to him. It doesn't enter his mind

Seriously. He doesn't doubt his capacity to be attractive, but for such a complicated person, experiencing love is a straightforward matter for him. He loves you. Why bother with anything else?

Of course, if it's a source of pain for you, then it's a concern for him too. He's had his fair share of unhealthy relationships and isn't in the dark about just how badly cheating will mess someone up

He's also the type to overthink things, so once you bring it up as your own issue, he's naturally taking it on as his issue too

He wouldn't! ... but now he's going to go out of his way to prove to himself that he's not the kind of person who would

It also drives the point home to him just how precious it is to have your trust (and why he really should have never tried to briefly dump you on the docks). That did need some discussing

In general, he's so transparent and talkative with you that there's nobody in his life you don't know about. If he has a high opinion of them, he's already trying to get you two to be friends as well

And if you ever worry that someone else is better for him, he will take that as a challenge to outdo your sense of unworthiness /j

Asra

They would never. You know this. They know this. Every citizen in Vesuvia knows this. The major Arcana know this

But the horrible thing about traumas and fears is that they don't have to be rational to hurt you, and Asra knows that too

Your relationship actually went through quite the rough patch with this at first. Asra's plenty familiar with heartbreak, but he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body and struggles to understand it

What's more, their own traumas make them practically allergic to feeling controlled or trapped in any way, which doesn't help their love of being mysterious and unpredictable

Which, of course, only fed your anxieties, and in turn left him easily triggered if you tried to get a solid answer out of him about what he'd been up to all day on his spontaneous solo side quests

What's most important, though, is that they love you with everything they are, and they're dedicated to helping you heal and being the best partner they can as they build a happy life with you

It's a catalyst for both of you to confront and work through your traumas together - your jealousy, and his fear of constancy

They do find telling you all about their day is actually lots of fun

Nadia

She is so glad you're bringing this up

Would she ever cheat? Absolutely not. She takes relational boundaries very seriously and what she has with you is a kind of love and safety and closeness she's waited for her whole life

However, while she and Lucio never cheated on each other, they did have an open marriage which meant other lovers were in the picture, and knowing you're not comfortable with that is important

She will happily get into the nitty gritty of past grievances and unsatisfying relationships and the details of every boundary

She also strongly values your sense of safety and security with her, and if there's any little things she can do to equip you to battle your demons, she will happily do them. Just tell her what helps

However, it is also very important to her to clarify that your jealousy is your situation talking and not a slight on her character

Because if it helps you heal to see her be transparent with you, she'll practically become glass, but if you start questioning her own intentions and moral code, you're not giving her space to do right

Can and will set things up so you can watch her beat down anybody flirting with her in real time (and kiss you afterwards)

Muriel

Cheating is an entirely foreign concept to him and the fact that someone would actually do that is completely horrifying to him

He is so, so sorry you had to find out what that was like

He's also baffled about how that could even happen. In his case, you're the first person he's even considered having a relationship like this with. Who else would he even want to be with?

The first time you express any insecurity or jealousy about him specifically, he's a little thrown. Just the thought of betraying you like that disgusts him, do you really distrust him that much?

Of course, that's his own traumas and insecurities affecting him, and he knows better than anyone how poor past experiences make him fear hurt from his loved ones which he knows they'd never do

If you have the patience to soothe him when he flinches from your sudden movements or unexpected happy shouts, he easily has the patience to reassure you of your importance and safety with him

He'll also hold a grudge even bigger than yours against whoever gave you that relational trauma. In his mind, they have a reserved spot right next to Lucio in the not-fun part of the afterlife

Still doesn't know who else would find him desirable anyways

Portia

Oh, she gets it. She doesn't necessarily experience this to the level that you do, but she certainly relates on multiple counts

Feeling left behind by a loved one and struggling not to be insecure about it? Check. It's why she's so free to steal Julian's kneecaps

Feeling like she's just the good option people pick until they find their ideal option? Feeling like it's just a matter of time until she gets dropped again, no matter how well-meaning that person is?

Yeah, she gets you. Not to mention that it's a little hard not to compare herself to the incredible people you're friends with who would all clearly love to be the focus of your affections

The fact that you feel this too is such a relief. You two are about to spend so many hours on her couch with tea and baked treats while you talk about your similar experiences and unpack those feelings

And honestly, hearing you voice your doubts gives her space to voice hers. You can be open about how she's clearly the Countess's favorite and she can be open about your past roommate setup

If either of you finds it just a little bit attractive when you get to flaunt your relationship at ambassador events when another partygoer gets a bit too friendly - well - it's a guilty pleasure

Lucio

Look, he knows he's not a shining example of a model citizen, but he wouldn't disrespect the boundaries of someone he loves

At the same time, his assumptions about what those boundaries are aren't exactly monogamous. Will he be in a closed, exclusive relationship with you if those are your boundaries? Absolutely!

Will he need you to explicitly tell him that those are your boundaries? Also yes. Otherwise he might randomly ask how you feel about inviting a new friend to go on a date with you two

He's still working on his emotional intelligence, too, so the chances of him understanding the relational trauma aspect of that are slim

However, he understands the insecurity. You could leave him tomorrow and as heartbroken and betrayed as he'd feel, deep down he wouldn't be able to find it in himself to blame you

The last thing he wants to make you feel is less than or unworthy. You are worth so, so very much and you deserve only the best

Because he's still learning new habits, accountability is something he finds as uncomfortable as he does necessary and while he doesn't need it in this area, he still values it

Still needs reassurances that you don't think he'd actually do that

[vaguely-concerned]

BEHOLD! The list of evidence for my bold claim that Pan and Freddie dislike each other ferociously on sight because they are, in some key ways and despite appearances, very similar people: 

- First instinct upon seeing Grace sad is to try to make her laugh to cheer her up. (See: Freddie’s very first lines in the game starting off as she means to go on, and about half the things Pan ever says or does lol. In the last scene with him before The Trial you can even tell him you’re there just because you wanted to talk to him and have something cheer you up.) General sources of levity and fun and play in Grace’s life if you seek them out. 

- They react with similar anxiety to the idea of Grace being really angry with them (Freddie’s surprised/dismayed “Why are you angry at me?!” in the red route of ‘I Can Teach You’, the millenia-old god of the wild hiding behind a tree for ten minutes because he thinks Grace might be about to yell at him lmao <3)

- Both of them seem to have similar interpersonal insecurities in general, judging by the enforced choice between them in ‘I Can Teach You’ (I love you both so much but oh my god. is this a constructive use of time or energy under the circumstances lol), softened and alleviated by the fact that at the end of the day the most important thing to either of them is that Grace is happy. It isn’t possessiveness, but there is an element of underlying ‘Hey. Hey I am your favorite right?? 🥺’ insecurity there that trips them both up to begin with. Once you play the game and go back to look at this scene again knowing everyone’s real motivations, they’re even coming from the same place deep down — genuine fear for Grace’s safety and wanting to help her. (Freddie uncomplicatedly out of love🥹, and Pan at that stage probably more out of a guilty sense of responsibility, though he does seem to take a shine to Grace herself pretty quickly as well. Also he demonstrably isn’t, uh. Completely wrong in saying Freddie’s involvement in this whole mess is likely to end in tears, even if he is being a real dick about it) 

- If you don’t choose either in ‘I Can Teach You’, they both show up within minutes of each other to watch Grace’s back in the Medusa quest anyway. One brain cell ping pong and no one notices because they keep trying to swat each other with the racquets whenever Grace glances away for a second

Sidenote but flirting with both of them one after the other in that quest is fucking hilarious, they’re just taking turns ‘Really? Right in front of my salad?’-ing directly at the camera (...listen I feel that there is a chance that as long as they kept Grace between them the whole time there could be a thing here. I think a possible universe out there where it happens at least once does exist if one cared to go seek it out. That’s all I’m saying.) 

- Seems a bit obvious but what else am I here for: both very drawn to Grace no matter what main trait you choose. Whether this is true vice versa is of course player-dependent, but it is one way you can play the game. 

- Incredibly similar defensive reactions to being picked on or sniped at (and no hesitation whatsoever in subjecting each other to exactly that immediately anyway haha) 

- A bit dark when you think about it, but they both express the sentiment that it would be better for them to step in and die if it means Grace lives. (Freddie very directly of course ;______; and then in ‘It’s time’, Pan in ‘The Trial’ and the little talk you have with him later in Athena’s office.)  

Matching ‘ride or die’ instincts once awoken, is what I’m getting at. Freddie gets extra points for sheer longevity and constancy, Pan gets extra points for getting there in a week. You’re both unhinged (affectionate) 

- They’re the only ones among the main cast wearing green, right? I think I’ve got that right? Well, Charon does too, I suppose, but he’s a bit more peripheral. (Persephone and Aphrodite wear blue-green, but that seems more associated with death and the underworld and the river of grief everyone keeps using as a metaphor throughout the game.) Somehow I find the idea/metaphor that once you get Pan out from under like three layers of bullshit he’s the same colour as Freddie (who is inarguably The symbol of devotion and steadfastness in this game no matter your choices) quite sweet. 

- Nerds. You know I am right. Slightly different kinds of nerd (Freddie is distinctly geek-flavoured and Pan collects rare books for sport sort of distinction), but still. Oh my god. Freddie should get the whole cast together to play D&D in the Reliquary post-game. It would be absolute carnage. It would be glorious hilarity. *GASP* no wait not the Reliquary, let’s go to the Underworld so Charon gets to play too. For the love of all that is good give this to me now please I need it 

- The only two people who think Freddie losing control of her powers and causing a dance number at a funeral is hilarious

In short this is a recognition of the self through the other (derogatory) situation for both of them and neither of them decides to take that with any dignity or grace (ahaha) in the slightest, I love them very much,  thank you and goodnight 

[campgender]

Hi, love your blog, no pressure do you have any sex sociology etc related books or movies you recommended? Sorry if silly question!

not a silly question at all!! i love to read about this stuff & am always happy to talk about it :) i am however not very experienced with film so other than Bound being on my to-watch list since forever i don’t have any recommendations in that area

all of these recs are definitely at different points along a spectrum of how much i ascribe to or agree with; i avoid language of “safe, sane, & consensual,” for example, because i disagree with the requirement for safety and the positioning of sanity as synonymous with not doing harm. a lot of kink writing falls into the habit of trying to justify itself to normative society through language of health, which i find both useless & offensive lol. as far as content notes it’s also worth mentioning that many if not all of these works discuss stigma & trauma, including hate crimes, rape, and incest.

i have a prior list on my disability blog with recs about sex & disability, i highly recommend checking out my favorites from there! Emma Sheppard’s work in particular was life-changing for me. many of these were accumulated through her sources as well as from @gatheringbones ‘s excerpts

in no particular order:

sociology

Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy by Staci Newmahr

Safe, Sane and Consensual: Contemporary Perspectives on Sadomasochism, edited Darren Langdridge & Meg Barker

Sex and Disability, edited Robert McRuer & Anna Mollow

The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desires by Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells, & Dominic Davies

Unbreaking Our Hearts: Cultures of Un/Desirability and the Transformative Potential of Queercrip Porn by Loree Erickson (dissertation)

Dungeon Intimacies: The Poetics of Transsexual Sadomasochism by Susan Stryker (article)

Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex by Pat (now Patrick) Califia

Leatherfolk: Radical Sex, People, Politics, and Practice, edited Mark Thompson

The Feminist Porn Book: The Politics of Producing Pleasure, edited Tristan Taormino, Celine Parreñas Shimizu, Constance Penley, and Mireille Miller-Young

Tomorrow Sex Will Be Good Again: Women and Desire in the Age of Consent by Katherine Angel

practicality

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual, edited Pat (now Patrick) Califia

Fucking Trans Women by Mira Bellwether (zine)

sex writing

S/HE by Minnie Bruce Pratt

Skin by Dorothy Allison

Lover by Bertha Harris

Trans/Love: Radical Sex, Love, and Relationships Beyond the Gender Binary, edited Morty Diamond

Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink by Midori

[icepoptroll]

🌟⭐ headcannons for Ricky Noel Ocean and Constance please:3

So for this one, @cyanidearctic and @panicattheanimeconvention and I all put our heads together to come up with these lol

Happy:

Ricky: He can sign songs with his hands with such expression and joy that it almost looks like he's like. sort of VISUALLY singing. Before, no one knew how awesome it looked when he signs but post-Cyclone the choir would have him incorporate sign language into their routines. Bonus because I'm Ricky-obsessed: his moms take him to all of the comic/sci-fi conventions!!

Noel: He and his mom have days out together wherein they do fun and cost-effective things together. Noel's a major mama's boy, she's his best friend!!

Ocean: Post-Cyclone she was amazed to find how much happier she was as everyone's equal and friend than trying to be everyone's superior. She's so glad she chose love

Constance: Post-Cyclone her baby brother was her rock. She appreciates him and the cute little things he does exponentially more now, watching him play is one of her main sources of serotonin

Sad:

Ricky: He has written down specific care instructions for each of his cats in the event that he passes away. When one of his cats dies he gets a plush cat that looks like it. They're all piled on his bed.

Noel: When his dad left he left behind several hats and coats that Noel spent weeks sleeping on until his dad's scent was gone.

Ocean: You know how sometimes you're just laying awake in bed and you remember something you did years ago that you regret? That's Ocean. All the time. With multiple multiple regrets about multiple multiple people.

Constance: People who have known her for years would forget her name, call her "Cristin" or "Carla" cause yeah that sounds about right I guess. Her kindness was often taken advantage of.

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

Genius Korea's Best K-Pop Songs of 2023 — ONEW&KEY Mentions

source

12. ONEW — O (Circle)

Just like its title, “O (Circle)” begins and ends in the same place: with a rippling, repeating instrumental. The lyrics explore natural cycles of life: the seasons, and the happiness and sorrows of existence. The song expresses how constant change is both a great sadness and a great joy; certain lyrics are repeated, reinforcing the theme of constancy within change. ONEW's singing ranges from ethereal to soaring, easily conveying the song’s nuances. From a gentle start, the song grows to an emotional ending with a full chorus of voices. “O (Circle)” is a poetic, almost mystical, reflection on what separates and connects.

19. KEY — GOOD & GREAT

An anthem for those facing the daily grind of being in the workforce, “Good & Great” expresses that urge to break out from the monotonous day-to-day hours. While still wanting to do the best at what had taken hard work to get to, KEY sings about thinking of a momentary escape from reality to keep it all together before returning to the hustle and bustle (or lack of). Though tackling what can be seen as an overall boring topic, the song’s overall vibe is hard to not at least bop your head to.

[rrenzwrld]

mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe

in which connie is a famous basketball player who has a secret baby with his best friend

this is part 6! the second to last part to mbdm :( and it’s kinda long bc it switches povs.. sorry y’all! but anyways, hope you enjoy! read the 5th part here and here, read part 4 here!

tags; @beautifulalienslimecroissant @neptunes1nterweb @yourrfavzxri @iikatsukii

After the outing, Connie and I had gotten closer in the following weeks. As busy as he was as the nation’s athlete, he still had enough time to set aside for me and Celest. The only reason he probably didn’t mind spending time with the baby was because she came along with me. It got to the point where it looked like he was growing attached and as far as he knew, he wasn’t her father. He thought he was just stepping in as an outside source.

Today I had took off for a doctor’s appointment for Celest where she’d be getting shots. I talked to Connie that morning and my plans slipped up so I should’ve known he would’ve wanted to go with me.

“But don’t you have a game?” I wedged my phone between my ear and neck as I buckled in a busy Celest.

“Yeah but that’s not until 7. Y’know, I just wanna be there for support.” At first glance, I didn’t see nothing wrong with it until I considered the situation again. Plus the fact that he was a celebrity and could be recognized going to a pediatrician with a random lady and her baby.

“I guess.. you gon meet me there?”

“Yeah just send me the address. I’ll get there before you anyways.”

I scoffed. “Boy you better not be tryna speed through these streets. I can’t afford your bail.”

“You won’t need to. Imma call you when I get there.” And with that we said our goodbyes and hung up before I started on my way.

And Connie was in fact there before me.

“Told you.” He smirked, making fun of the fact that I didn’t believe him. Celest was starting to fall asleep again on my shoulder but once she saw Connie, she woke up immediately.

He took his shades off as Celest wiggled out my arms to run into his. “At least someone’s happy to see me. Estrellita!” He calls her Estrellita, which means little star in spanish as I’ve been told and that’s interesting because the inspiration for her name came from his.. Constance. His name always reminded me of the stars and how beautiful they were as constellations on some nights, which is what I saw every time I looked at him and now see every time I look at my baby. I really need to find a way on how to break the news to him.

Once we got in and we’re now waiting for the lady to come in.

“Y’know you didn’t have to come, right? You probably had something else to do.”

Connie shook his head as he held onto Celest in his lap. “Nah, I like spending time with yall. Especially this lil girl.” He tickled her sides, which made her squirm.

I didn’t know what I was thinking to prompt me to say what was next. “Actually Connie, there’s—“ but luckily the pediatrician came just in time

She greeted us as she walked in and was surprised to see Connie in the chair because normally it’s just Celest and I.

She looked at me and then looked at Connie and Celest. “Are you dad?” My eyes widened. He was dad but he didn’t know he was dad. All Connie did was laugh because I could see that he didn’t know how to react.

“Nah, um… just a friend.”

“Oh!” She laughed. “You and the baby look so much alike I thought you were dad.” Connie slowly turned his head to look at me and I slowly turned my head in the opposite direction.

“Just probably been around her for too long.” The pediatrician started somehow laughing harder than before. I wanted to leave now for a multitude of reasons. But once I finished talking to her about Celest and the type of shots she’d be given today, everything was almost over.

“Does she like shots?” Connie leaned over to me after the pediatrician left to get the supplies for the shots.

I laughed a bit. “Who likes to get shots?” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m sayin does she cry and stuff?”

“She’ll cry but only for a lil bit. I got her if you can’t—“

“Nah, she cool. I got her.” The cart rolled in and Celest started to whine and get antsy. I hated when she’d get shots because I’d always cry with her, but it helped when Connie was here.

The first looked to be the most painful for her but she didn’t cry all that much but that was probably because Connie held onto her so tightly, making sure she wouldn’t wiggle around. After the first, the second floor one came and went so it was over by this point and Celest’s little thighs were decorated with pretty pink butterfly bandaids.

“See?” The pediatrician began putting the stuff away. “Wasn’t that bad, right?” She tickled at Celest’s tummy and of course she laughed even through her teary eyes. Connie on the other hand, looked like he was fighting back tears himself.

When we left, Connie had put his shades back on as he walked to my car to buckle Celest in.

“Thank you for coming Connie, I appreciated your… support.”

“Anytime.. you coming to the game later?” I didn’t know if I wanted to go through that hassle again. “I’ll find a way to get yall in—“

“It’s okay, we’ll just watch you on tv.”

He raised a brow. “You sure? Don’t wanna be there for the real thing?”

He made me giggle like a high school girl. “I have the real thing right here. And plus, Cee will watch you better at home anyways.”

“Alrighty pretty girl.. you better be watching.”

“Or what?” He was close enough to rattle the fluttering in my stomach. He stood in front of me for a while, gently biting on his lips but I couldn’t see his eyes because they were hidden.

He scoffed. “You’ll find out,” He pecked me on my cheek. “Bye, love you!” Before quickly getting into his car and speeding off. ‘Love you..?’

(📞switching sides) CONNIE

After the game, all I could think about was the events of today and what the pediatrician lady said. My mind was so set on that, I didn’t even go to the club like the team would always do after winning a game to celebrate. Everyone went to the club that night except for Onyankopon. Him and I were the closest on the team and he’s always had my back through everything since joining the team. When I was first starting out in the pro world, he was the one who didn’t mind helping me out. He was only a few years older than me but he was like a brother.

Instead of going to the club, we went to Jean’s house to hang out with him and Sasha. We had a few drinks and played a few games and even though it’s minimal, having the time to wind down with them was always enjoyable.

They knew all about my time with Celest and Chy’anne but they haven’t really asked any questions about them until now, which was strange. I even told them about today at the pediatrician’s and what I was feeling with that, thinking they’d just brush me off to talk about something else but…

“So she asked if you were the dad because you and the baby look alike?” Jean basically repeated what I told him.

“Yeah and I told her that I was Chy’anne’s friend—“

“Y’know she wouldn’t just ask something like that for no reason, right?” He had a point but I assumed he was bullshitting.

I narrowed my eyes at him “What you tryna say?”

“You got a picture of the baby?”

“Whoa—“

“Shut up,” He snapped at Sasha while reaching out for my phone. “I’m tryna see something..” I brought up a family picture from Chy’anne’s page and handed the phone over.

Once he was looking at the picture, Sasha and Ony leaned over his shoulder to look. Ony kept looking between me and the phone while Sasha covered her mouth with her eyes widened. Their dramatic reactions were making me nervous.

“What?”

“I don’t know if you’re just being dumb on purpose or what but…”

“That baby yours, G.”

“Gimme that shit..” I snatched the phone from Jean’s hands and my heart felt like it was gonna pump out my chest. I glanced at the picture before turning the phone off. “Stop playin with me. That baby look so much like Chy’anne, you can’t even really tell who—“

“Keep telling yourself that~” I don’t know why I felt so worked up if I knew Celest wasn’t mine, right? How could she be?

“A blind person can see that’s your daughter, Connie.”

“Nah, fuck that. Chy’anne wouldn’t do that to me. I know her.”

“Do you?” My eyes met Ony’s. “A person can change a lot in two years.” Again, a point was made but it wasn’t nearly enough to convince me. To me, the idea of her daughter being mine was a crazy idea because I knew the type of person she was and I knew she wouldn’t keep such a thing from me for so long.

“And why do you think she’d do that?” Jean added.

“I don’t know, maybe she was going through some shit or something.”

Jean rolled his eyes. “Obviously, but maybe she had a reason why she hid the baby from you.”

I had to laugh a lil bit because it was getting ridiculous now. To the point where I might have started feeling paranoid. “I’m telling you, that’s not my baby. Love her to death but she’s not mine to claim. If she was really my child, I’m sure I’d know about it by now.”

Jean sighed like he was frustrated that I wasn��t believing them. I chose not to believe them because I know how I’d feel if that really was the case and I just didn’t wanna face my feelings if that was a possibility.

“What happened two years ago?” I didn’t know why Jean was asking a question he knew the answer to.

“You know what happened—“

“Wait what happened two years ago?” Ony stopped me. “You just told me you and the girl were friends, you didn’t tell me y’all had history and shit.”

“Basically,” I dreaded telling this story again so I just summed it up. “Her and I were real close. Best friends since diapers and she’s always supported me because I played ball but she stopped talking to me right before I was drafted. Haven’t talked for two years since then until now.”

“Damn.”

“You’re missing something, Connie.” Sasha spoke up but I was confused.

“How you gonna tell me what I’m missing in my story?” Jean and Sasha exchanged looks. My mind was searching for what they were trying to remind me until I finally realized it all in a few seconds. It was like everything came rushing back all at one time. I then recognized the event as the night that changed everything. I guess I had completely shut down because someone had to get my attention a few times.

“You remember now?”

I nodded and tried swallowing the dry knot in my throat. “Yeah, we had sex. Right before I was getting ready to go to California. I remember it being an issue because we were friends until.. we did that. And then her sister told me she was sick and stuff but I didn’t pay attention to it at the time.”

“And maybe, just maybe,” Jean raised his hands. “She was sick because she was just finding out she was pregnant.” Now that I remembered everything, what Jean said made sense and I’d only find out the real truth if I asked her up front.

“Okay but, why would she keep a whole baby from me for two years? Why would she do that to me?” Anger, frustration, confusion and everything in between started to rise inside of me but I tried brushing it off. Although I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, the fact that we potentially had a daughter together that I didn’t know about and that I could’ve been there for, made me feel betrayed.

“See, that is what I don’t know. Up to you to figure out.” Sooner or later, that is what I aimed to find the answer to

she WILL tell him in the next part, i PROMISE😭 and everything will unfold for the lil finale, just stay tuned <3

[promises-of-paradise]

The Poetry of Alfred Junot

I was looking through the appendix of a biography of Laure Junot (sent to me by my lovely friend @apurpledust), written by a man who had gained some additional information from meetings with Marcel Georges Alfred Aubert (son of Constance Aubert, who was the second daughter of Jean-Andoche and Laure Junot), and I found something very interesting:

"Verses written by M. Alfred Junot, Duke of Abrantès, on the album of Mme. Constant Aubert, his sister"

It is dated to 15th September 1848.

Original French:

Un jour j'ai cru dans ma misère Sentir mon âme s'envoler; Je suis resté seul sur la terre, Le malheur s'était révélé. Pleurant la beauté, la franchise, Et la candeur la plus exquise A ma félicité promise, J'étais courbé sur un tombeau; N'ayant plus rien qui me console De la peine qui me désole Qu'un cercueil où mon cœur s'isole Et qu'un enfant dans un berceau.

English Translation:

One day I believed in my misery, Feeling my soul fly away; I remained alone on earth, The misfortune had revealed itself. Mourning beauty, frankness, And the most exquisite candour To my promised happiness, I was bent over a tomb; Having nothing left to console me Of the pain that devastates me But a coffin where my heart isolates itself And but a child in a cradle.

Alfred Junot suffered from mental health issues like his father. He had the rank of lieutenant-colonel, and was aide-de-camp of General Patrice de McMahon until 1854 when he became the aide-de-camp of Prince Jérôme-Napoléon II. On 24th June 1859, he was killed in battle at Solferino.

It appears that a talent for poetry ran in the Junot family, as both Jean-Andoche Junot and his son Alfred wrote poems recreationally. Junot's great-great-grandnephew, Pierre Louÿs, was a famous writer and poet in the late 19th - early 20th century -- the complete works of Pierre Louÿs are available to read here.

source - pg.462-463

[thefacelesssmile]

Happy (belated) birthday @sewers-headmates!! Decided to make you something since you’ve been such an inspiration for us making this blog. You don’t have to do anything with them, of course, since this wasn’t a request, but I hope you like it anyway. - Darkwood

I heard you like Hatchetfield, I heard you like RTC, I heard you like AUs, so I bring you:

Ride the Tearjerker AU Headmate Pack (all level 1s with transids and paras, we wanted to do higher but I think we’d die a little lol- feel free to request any of them upgraded if you like them though!)

———

Name - Grace Chasity

Pronouns - She/Her/Hers

Gender - Cisgender Woman

Sexuality - Bi, but heavily in the closet

Paras - Teratophilia, Erotophonophilia, Autotheophilia, Peccatiphilia

CisIDs - Christian, Murderer, Autistic, Religious OCD

TransIDs - TransStraight, TransHarmless, TransCultLeader, TransRighteous, TransCelibate, TransNeurotypical

Sys Role - Moral Compass, Belief Holder

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Ocean O’Connel Rosenberg

Sign Off - ✝️, ❤️‍🩹, 📓, 🫧, 🪓

Name - Alice Woodward

Pronouns - She/Her, They/Them, 🌸/🌸s

Gender - Demigirl, BlossomGender

Sexuality - Lesbian

Paras - Autogratiophilia, Kinemortophilia, Odontophilia, Nyctophilia

CisIDs - Writer, Dyed Hair, GAD, Cottagecore

TransIDs - TransPopular, TransSuccessful, TransRebellious, TransVampire

Sys Role - Social Alter, Creativity Manager, Motivator

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Noel Gruber

Sign Off - 👩‍💻, 🖊️, 📝, 💗, 🧛‍♀️

Name - Ethan Green

Pronouns - He/Him, They/Them, It/Its, Ey/Em, Pine/Pines, Wood/Woods, 🌲/🌲s

Gender - Boyflux, Transmasculine, ForestBoyic

Sexuality - Panromantic Demisexual, femme preference

Paras - Chierophilia, Mechanophilia, Scelerophila, Gratiophilia

CisIDs - Car Fanatic, AuDHD, DPD, Canine Therian, Cyborgkin

TransIDs - TransAlive, TransPhotographer, TransHeight (Taller), TransGamer

Sys Role - Protector

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Mischa Bachinski

Sign Off - 🧢, 🪓, 🔧, 🚙, 🌲

Name - Richard “Richie” Lipshitz

Pronouns - He/Him, They/Them, Weeb/Weebs, Glitch/Glitches, 👾/👾s

Gender - Trans man, Animegender, Robogender

Sexuality - Gay, Ambiamorous

Paras - Thanatophilia, Poképhilia, Robophilia, Fictophilia (specifically Ficto-Biastophilia)

CisIDs - Cosplayer, Gamer, Anime Obsessed, Otaku, Weep, Lisp, ADHD

TransIDs - TransExchangeStudent, TransJapanese, TransPopular, TransMSpecAttraction

Sys Role - Cringe Culture Holder

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Ricky Potts

Sign Off - 🤖, 📺, 🦅, 👾, 🎮

Name - Ruth Fleming

Pronouns - She/Her, Shx/Hxr, They/Them, Ey/Em, Star/Stars, ⭐️/⭐️s

Gender - Transfemme Pangender, LoserGirlic

Sexuality - Pansexual Polyamorous HyperRose

Paras - Aptophilia, Agonophilia, Opophilia, Autagonistophilia

CisIDs - Theater Kid, Attention Seeker, Socially Awkward, Loser

TransIDs - TransPretty, TransStarlet, TransAttractive

Sys Role - Trauma Manager, Optimist, HyperRose Holder

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker - Constance Blackwood

Sign Off - ⭐️, 🤩, 🎬, 🎤, 💡

Name - The unidentified body of the Tearjerker Incident, Hannah Foster

Pronouns - They/Them, Shx/Hxr, Hx/Hxm, Web/Webs, Doll/Dolls, 🕸️/🕸️s

Gender - Genderqueer, FluidFlux, Dollic, Black&Whiteic

Sexuality - AroAcespec

Paras - none

CisIDs - Nonverbal, Autistic, Prophet, Ukelele Player, Abused, Spider Therian, Bunny Therian, Lamb Therian, Musician

TransIDs - TransNormal, TransVerbal, TransUnharmed, TransBlack&White, TransAlive, PermaDissociated

Sys Role - Memory Gatekeeper, Dissociation Manager

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Jane Doe

Sign Off - 🎶, 💭, 🕸️, 🔲, 🧢

Bonuses:

Name - The Great Blikotep

Pronouns - It/Its, Eye/Eyes,

Gender - Eyegender, Black&Whiteic

Sexuality - Pansexual, Hypersexual, Voyeur

Sys Role - Observer, Gatekeeper

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, The Great Karnak

Sign Off - 💜, 🎢, 🔌, 🧿, 👁️

Name - Webby the Spider

Pronouns - She/Her, They/Them, Web/Webs, Mys/Tery/Mysterys, Wi/Witch, 🕸️/🕸️s, 🕷️/🕷️s,❔/❔s

Gender - Agender, Femmeflux, Black&Whiteic

Sexuality - Aromantic, Queer, Unlabeled

Sys Role - Gatekeeper, Internal Protector

Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Virgil the Rat

Sign Off - 🕷️, 🕸️, ❔, 🤍, 💤

[moonmoonthecrabking]

a metric fuck-tonne of rtc incorrect quotes

Ocean: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me. Constance: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you? Ocean: Yes! Noel: And I thought your life couldn't get any sadder. Constance: Maybe you, I'm a damn delight.

Constance: Noel, keep an eye on Ocean today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Noel: Sure, I’d love to see Ocean get punched. Constance: Try again. Noel, sighing: I will stop Ocean from getting punched.

Ocean: Penny and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Noel: Sighing What did Penny do? Ocean: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and… Penny: Who wants a steering wheel?

Ocean: Ugh. I'm going to regret asking this, but why are you on the floor? Noel: I'm depressed. Noel: Also I was stabbed, can you get Mischa, please.

Ricky (through an aac): We need to get through this locked door. Constance, give me your credit card. Constance: Here! Ricky, pocketing it (still through an aac): Thanks. Mischa, kick down the door.

Ricky (through an aac): My dear, if I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Penny: How am I supposed to know? Noel (shouting from the kitchen): You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Penny: sighs Penny: You wouldn't be trapped.

Constance: Dandelions symbolise everything I want to be in life Ricky (using an aac): Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Constance: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Mischa: edible

Noel: Mischa stole from me first! Ocean: Mhm. Noel: Stole my heart… Ocean: It is still illegal to commit murder. Penny: Only if you get caught.

Mischa: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Ocean: Mischa no. Constance: Mistlefoe. Ocean: Please stop encouraging them. Constance: Sorry! ;)

Ricky: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Penny: What's that? Ricky (through an aac): Remorse code. Penny: I'm even angrier now.

Constance: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Ocean: Does anyone in this gosh darned group ever think before they speak? Constance: Sorry, Ocean! I love you. Ocean: That's the only reasonable thing I've heard come out of your mouth this week. Constance: Ocean: Love you too.

Constance: Ocean! My face is on fire! Ocean: Constance! Are you ok?! Constance: Sorry, I'm fine! I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly. Ocean: But your face is on fire. Constance: Yes! It's much faster than shaving.

Karnak, negotiating with Noel: We have Ocean. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed Ocean: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars? Noel: Karnak: Ocean: MAKE IT ONE MILLION– Noel: OCEAN SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH YOU'RE LUCKY I'M RESCUING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE

Ocean: WHY. why did you give Noel a KNIFE?! Penny: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Ocean: Now I feel unsafe! Penny: I’m sorry. Penny: … would you like a knife?

Ocean: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Constance: Okay, but in my defense, Mischa bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Ocean: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?! Ricky (through an aac): For 50 cents? Weak.

Constance: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. Mischa: You were flirting with Ocean. Constance: So what? She's my wife! Mischa: You asked her if she was single. Constance: Mischa: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.

Penny: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Ocean: You are not what the world needs. Noel: But you are a coward. DO TWENTY.

Noel: Care for another sundae, weenie? Ocean: I am not a weenie! Ricky (through an aac): Relax, you’re among friends. raises their drink Ocean: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jr’s. Mischa: You tell ‘em, Ocean! sips their drink Noel (betrayed): Mischa, what’re you doing here? Mischa (equally as betrayed): I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

Constance: Hi, I know I of all people should be able to tell, but is Ocean sleeping or dead? Noel: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Ricky (through an aac device): Yeah, so did I. Ocean: Okay first of all, how dare you-

Ocean: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Noel: Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Ricky (through an aac device): Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Constance: Put spaghetti in it. Ocean: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

Noel: Tonight, one of you will piss me off. Constance: Is it me, Noel? Noel: No, it’s not you. Ricky (through an aac device): Is it me, Noel? Noel: It’s not you either. Ocean: Is it me, Noel? Noel: Noel, mockingly: Is IT mE Noel? What the fuck do you think.

Ocean: How did none of you hear what I just said? Ricky (using an aac device): I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Constance: I got distracted about halfway through, sorry! Noel: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Ocean, about Mischa: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group. Noel (slightly too eager): Are we stealing them? Ricky (using an aac): New or used? Constance: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Ricky (using an aac): Self care is actually getting into fights with dog aliens who suppress cat aliens' rights on strange planets. Ocean: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Constance: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Noel: Lmao self care is taking Ocean's birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Ocean: If you touch the birthday cake Constance made for me I’ll make you eat your hands.

Constance, setting down a card: Ace of spades RIcky, pulling out an Uno card that says: +4 Noel, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Ocean, trembling: What are we playing?

Mischa (referring to Ocean): I prevented a murder today! :D Talia: Really? How’d you do that? Mischa: self control.

Mischa: I actually have a black belt. Noel: In what, karate? Mischa: No, from Gucci. Mischa: Admittedly, I stole it from my adoptive mother. She didn't even realise it was gone.

Noel: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Noel: i became more evil if you’re curious Constance: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Noel: i’m going to get worse on purpose

Constance: Stubs their toe FUCK! Ocean: Mind your language! Constance: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Ocean: Constance: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Mischa: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao Talia: What did you my love? Mischa: A MISTAKE

Mischa: You're like 10 times funnier and sexier than me Talia: 10 times infinity is still infinity though Mischa: Jokes on you, I'm too bisexual to do math Talia: My love, so am I, but I have common sense (and that's how passionflower came out to each other)

Talia: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Mischa: Twelve, actually. Talia: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Mischa: Mine! Talia: That's right: no one's.

[philtstone]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you so much to the lovely @tllgrrl for tagging me! without further ado ...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

as of this one, 197! i have been on these fanfic streets for roughly ten years, it all tends to accumulate

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,056,672 ..... do with that what u will

3. What fandoms do you write for?

yall, this is a prolonged list. i dont think theres been a source material ive written for once that i dont randomly write for again every so often. i have 1-2 big phases per year, usually. just go look at my ao3 dashboard sdlkfjldskf

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

to the surprise of absolutely no one, all five are from the age old skywalker happy trash family au. thanks for being so consistent star wars fandom, ur all real ones <3 but also my writing has improved so much since then that occasionally the hingeless urge to go back and re-write every fic in that verse is real

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try my best to! every so often life gets in the way, but especially in the last few years, i really try to engage with comments as much as i can. ive also been lucky enough to write in pretty small fandoms for the last couple years (ironically, given ive been in my second m*rvel era) so replying to comments has been a lot more intimate and friendly anyway

6. What is a fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i was going to say "i dont know" because for the most part -- and especially my more recent fics -- everything ends up pretty consistently bittersweet. then i remembered vintage phil: "we want to live by each other's happiness", or the b99 captain america au

7. What’s a fic you've written with the happiest ending?

i tend to very consistently write things with shades of happy and sad. that said, some of my favourite purely "happy ending" fics include:

"easy, easy (my man and me)"

"i found a dream"

"hark the bluebells"

"i believe in you and in our hearts"

8. Do you get hate on fics?

eh, not really. i dont generally write chapter fic with controversial enough plot points and the unresolved nature of updating chapters to generate true "hate". i have gotten some really bizarre comments where one has to wonder what was going through the commenter's head when typing it all out, but most of those are not things that stick.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

not me feeling emotional abt my ao3 tenure .... 15 yr old me would have such a different answer ...

i write often and (i hope) as authentically as possible about lived-in romantic relationships, and as ive gotten older it has felt more and more organic to include scenes in and around sexual intimacy where appropriate. i dont think most people would classify that as "smut", though.

10. Do you write crossovers?

if i am writing an au, it is a true au, with the single and sole exception of the force sensitive claire au, which is, on a technicality, a crossover

it also is, on much less of a technicality, unfinished ...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of and i certainly hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not to my memory

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

the closest ive ever come to this was, actually, writing the b99 cap au with maya Back In The Day. our tumblr messages used to just be draft upon draft of scenes evolving in real time. but never formally. friends are an integral part of the fic writing process tho

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

the world should know i am an anne-gil truther. blueprint if there ever was one

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

sadly, probably "happiness, like those palaces in fairy tales"; my beloved small time constance-centered parks-flavoured musketeers au .... my writing style has just changed so much since, and it was such a huge undertaking. i still have half of the unpublished anne/aramis flashback chapter saved in my google docs though.

16. What are your writing strengths.

ive been told im good at prose! and writing from childrens' pov, which i am fond of doing, though in a tragic turn of events i havent done much of it recently

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

as i see it, sometimes i dont know when less is needed for a fic to be more. often, this comes from a lack of clarity on my end re: what the fic is trying to be -- OR when im trying to write about something i dont really know. at the end of the day, though, this problem recurs because fanfic is supposed to be fun, so something being a bit too messy and a bit too long is not a huge deal to me. hopefully its also not a huge deal to my readers!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.

u can pry doing this from my cold dead hands. & are also always free to criticize my phrasing and translations, lol, except for that one time i made bucky barnes speak farsi, which is a language i actually know

19. First fandom you wrote for?

star trek aos, baybeeeee

20. Favorite fic you’ve written.

IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION. i love many of my children equally!

here are some all-timers from those fics which i have not mentioned yet:

hopeful./summertime

and there's a keepsake my mother gave me

then she'll be a true love of mine

just to hear the nightbird singin'

my daddy was a prominent frogman

**

thank u so much for the tag my friend! i had heaps of fun. tagging @firstelevens, @sesamestreep, @sennenrose and @flyinghome-againstthewind as well as anyone else interested!

[aziraphales-library]

Hi, thank you for your hard work, this blog is amazing and my n.1 source when it comes to good fics!

I was wondering if you could recommend me some longish fics (around 10k-15k words, could be less, could be a bit more, I don't mind), sort of slow burn, with some pining, maybe a bit of oblivious Aziraphale, fluffy stuff. No explicit ones, please!

I've recently read Any Other Name by ignaz, all i need darling is a life in your shape by deadgreeks, and Something to do with these sacred words by Solshine, which were amazing and I highly recommend them, and I was looking for similar stuff.

Sorry if it's a bit of a hard request, I hope you can help me! Thank you <3

Hello! Here are some fluffy pining slow-ish burn non-explicit fics between 10-15k words...

No Picture Can Express by nutmeag83 (T)

Ezra Fell prefers books (and discretely watching the lovely florist down the street) to social media, but takes up the hobby at Madame Tracy's urging. Anthony Crowley has been pining after his neighbor for ages, happy to keep his distance until Ezra asks him to tutor him in using Instagram. They find they have more in common than just having shops on the same block in Soho.

Plant-Based Customs by junkshopdisco (T)

A Christmas Fiction. In Prose. Being a Story of Christmas & Why An Angel Should Learn More About Mistletoe Than Whether Or Not To Put It On Pizza.

Or: five times Crowley tried to get Aziraphale to kiss him under the mistletoe and one time he didn’t bother.

where the lights burn low and you're only mine by hopelessromantic549 (T)

For the most part, Aziraphale sees himself as a rational angel who follows a consistent moral code. That has been his identity for millennia, and it comforts him, gives him stability in an ever-changing universe.

What he feels for Crowley is decidedly not rational, and that's more terrifying than the Great Plan failing him.

(Or, Aziraphale and Crowley move into a cottage together after the world doesn't end, and Aziraphale tries to be brave.)

To Fools and Stars by NebulaEyes (T)

After a visit from Adam ends with an upgraded computer and a blogging profile, Aziraphale is soon talking with someone who seems to be in the same predicament his own heart is in. What will happen when he realizes just how much this person relates to his situation? What will be said? Will it all work out?

The Constancy of Stars by AppleSeeds (T)

Struggling with the fast pace of change in his life and seeking to connect with something more stable and constant, Aziraphale attends an event run by the Tadfield Astronomical Society to learn more about the stars. After meeting captivating astronomer Crowley, Aziraphale realises that the constancy he's been seeking in his life is more about wanting to have someone, rather than something, that he can rely on to always be there, but would it be too much to hope that Crowley might share his feelings?

the fact of his pulse by lexophile (NR)

The revelation of the angel’s face hovering over him—and his firelit, affectionate expression—is more than he can cope with right now. Crowley shuts his eyes again, although he does make an effort to relax his shoulders and curl his knees in towards his chest. He’s aware that lying in the fetal position with his head on an angel’s lap is just about the least demonic thing he’s ever done.

-

Or: five times Crowley successfully conceals his crush on Aziraphale and one time he fails.

And the three you mentioned...

Any Other Name by ignaz (T)

“It’s just,” he continued, “I’ve noticed that humans—some humans, anyway—they use that word, angel, as a…well, as a sort of…endearment.”

“Do they?” said Crowley, who had invented using the word as an endearment in the 13th century AD.

Something to do with these sacred words by Solshine (T)

Crowley confesses early, and Crowley confesses often. Aziraphale never knows quite what to say.

all i need, darling, is a life in your shape by deadgreeks (G)

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives. --- Why? Aziraphale wanted to ask him, why millennia of the way things were, and now this?

But while Crowley seemed to have little issue upending every unspoken rule they’d ever written for themselves, Aziraphale was not so flexible, and they had spent thousands of years never quite addressing whatever it was this had stemmed from. Words, Aziraphale had always felt, were for bickering about where to eat for lunch, or hashing out ontological debates, or other trivial nonsense; there was no need to trifle with the imprecision of language, with phrasing and the possibility of being misconstrued, when it came to important matters if the other person simply understood, without needing it said. Six thousand years ago, when Aziraphale had met Crowley on the wall of Eden, watching the first two humans set out to begin the rest of history, something deep within him, more central even than his Grace, had thought, oh, it’s you, and that had been enough for him--for both of them, he assumed--for three millennia.

However much he wanted to ask, he didn’t know how. The words simply weren’t there.

- Mod D

[mysterycharacterflowers]

Round 1; A bouquet of dandelions and buttercups Vs A bouquet of marigold, yellow and white zinnia, phlox, bluebells, cornflower, gladiolus, rosemary, dark crimson rose and purple cyclamen

If you know who they are, or are pretty sure of it, please don't tell until this poll has ended!

First, let's talk about the bouquet of dandelions and buttercups

Meaning and why this flower was chosen: Dandelions! They're associated with her in the original source, and she and the protagonist have a bonding moment over them. They symbolise strength in adversity, change, and innocence, as she acts as a foil of sorts to the protagonist. In the semi-canon sequel this is changed to buttercups, so I'm including those also. They symbolise joy, youth, purity, happiness and friendship, which are key aspects of her character. Description: She's one of the only characters in the source to actually make the most of life. Unlike everyone else who slowly wastes away, she enjoys what she does, and teaches the protagonist to do so also.

Check their post here

Now, let's talk about the bouquet of marigold, yellow and white zinnia, phlox, bluebells, cornflower, gladiolus, rosemary, dark crimson rose and purple cyclamen

Meaning: Marigold - Grief Yellow and White Zinnia - Thinking (or in memory) or an absent friend Phlox - Our souls are united Bluebells - Kindness, constancy Cornflower - Hope in Misery Gladiolus - Integrity, Strength of Character Rosemary - Remembrance Dark Crimson Rose - Mourning Purple Cyclamen—Resignation and good-bye Description and why these flowers were chosen: Marigold, Yellow and White Zinnia, and Phlox: This character lost a dear friend. The loss affected him so deeply that when he laying his friend to rest, his soul fragmented and part of it remained in the resting place Bluebells and Cornflower: As a consequence, the character unknowingly granted themself immortality. He has not resigned themself to this eternal fate, though, and continue searching for a way to obtain long-deserved rest. Bluebells, Gladiolus, Rosemary, Dark Crimson Rose: The world they live in is decaying, with death but no new life. Yet, instead of letting the situation overwhelm and warp him, he chose kindness and dedication to his role. When beings who took advantage of the broken cycle of life and death in the world pass, this character is there to lay them to rest, frankly acknowledging their flaws but highlighting their good (or interesting) aspects and wishing them peace beyond life. Purple Cyclamen: Who is there to mourn him, to do for him as he did to others when he finally become whole and is able to rest? Only you.

Check their post here

[healerqueen]

WIP asks: WWII Train Short Story

You'll be happy to know that this short story was inspired by Constance Savery's historical novel Enemy Brothers. It's about a young teenaged girl who is sent to live with her aunt in small-town England during World War II, while her mother is doing war work and her brother is in the RAF.

She becomes fed up with her situation and the people in the small northern town where she lives, and she makes the decision to leave, even though she knows she shouldn't. She buys a train ticket and heads south, hoping no one will find out that she's not supposed to be traveling on her own. On the train during her journey, she meets a kind stranger who doesn't let her get away with her act of rebellion. I'm looking forward to writing this story someday. It will take a lot of research to write authentic historical fiction and get it right, so it will be a while before I write it. It's frustrating to try to find sources for things like which foods were rationed during World War II. But I think primary sources should be helpful and promising. One of the things I like about this story is that it has no romance, unlike many historical fiction books. It's more of a coming-of-age story.

[aragarna]

Please rant about the new musketeer movie, I need to know how bad it is on a scale from Michael York to Mathew McFaydden, so I know if it's worth trying to hunt down a cinema or wait till it's out on dvd

Well.... The good news is, there's no flying ship in that one. Not sure where to put it though. It's not atrocious, but it's lacking something. I'm always happy to see my boys, and the cast is good. It is rather entertaining at times, and I'm sure people not as attached to the characters as I am might not be as harsh as me but... I guess I was hoping for more? For better? Why is it that there can't be a single decent modern adaptation?!

The rest under the cut because spoilers for The Three Musketeers: d'Artagnan

First, it's visually ugly. It's all in brown and dark tones. Apparently the weather in France is always bad, ranging from pouring rain to clouds and fog. Even the red robe of the cardinal doesn't pop up! And don't get me started on the musketeer's uniforms. Why is it that every single recent movie wants to make them something that they're not. We *know* what they looked like. Blue casaques with a big white cross. Would it look out of fashion today? Of course! Even slightly ridiculous? Maybe. But Mordious, that's a 17th century uniform! Just play along! So, in this one, it becomes a very dark navy blue long coat with a black cross on the arm. It's actually so indisguishable that you can never tell when they're wearing it or not.

But okay, fine, if it was the only issue, I would have waved it off. The rest of the costumes, though probably not historically accurate, look pretty cool over all. If only they had more colors. Can you believe that there's a costumed ball, with one character wearing an arlequin costume and ... it doesn't even look like rainbow-y!

(can you tell I'm slightly mad at the movie's terrible coloring?)

And overall, I felt it wasn't very well filmed. Like, this isn't just a swashbluckler, it's The Swashbuckler story, so gotta work on those sword fights! Give me some fancy fighting! Work a real choregraphy! I understand that this is not the Errol Flynn era anymore but come on. So their idea to make it more "modern" was to use sequence-shots for the fight scenes. That is not a bad idea, but when there's no real choregraphy to follow, that just makes everything messy and pointless. So yeah, disappointed with the action scenes.

My other major source of annoyment was the lack of character development, or just character moments. D'Artagnan flirting with Constance was fine, but it's *not* the main story. It should have been the friendship between our four heroes. Instead of adding a whole new plot, I wish they'd taken the time with the canon scenes. Show me more why they went from being this close to kill each other, to instant friends ready to die for each other. Making Porthos bisexual is fine. I don't mind modernization of characters, but did you have to tell and show me this very clearly 3 times, but then give him virtually no other line of dialogue the rest of the movie? Romain Duris as Aramis is particularly awesome, but the poor guy is just as useless. The film is such a waste of a good casting. D'Artagnan, the main character, barely gets more time. Where is my ever-resourceful, cunning, smart and quick thinking hero? Young and idealistic but also natural leader d'Artagnan? His scenes with Constance are cute enough (and I don't mind that they got rid of Mr. Bonacieux) but I wanted more bonding with the boys! It's called The Three Musketeers, not My Cute Landlady. François Civil does a decent job but he isn't given the most subtle text...

Athos is the only one that is allowed a bit more development, but he's reduced to be a sappy old man. AAARGH ATHOS IS NOT AN OLD MAN. I do like Vincent Cassel, but the movie comes out 20 years too late for him to be a musketeer. Athos is not old, he is just the only vaguely grown-up one of the group. And come on "I don't have enough will to live to lie." ?! What the Hell?

All the characters feel reduced to a single dimension.

And yes, I do realize that you can't fit hundreds of pages in two 2-hour movies, but still, I feel like there were ways to make the movie better if it had been more character-oriented. The only real good character is the King. He has all the best lines and Louis Garrell is perfect.

Finally, while I don't mind when they take liberties from the original story, I'm not sure that the whole side plot actually adds anything. If you're worried about lack of plots, just develop the exisiting ones instead of rushing them in and out of England, maybe? It's Alexandre Dumas you're adapting, don't tell me there aren't enough twists in that plot!

And what annoys me about that side plot is that it starts with Athos being arrested. Which means that, from the start, they're never all four of them together. Which also means that that one supposedly emotional letter from Athos sounds a bit phony. Why would he care for that young idiot that he met only once?

Let my musketeers be all together, Morbleu!

Anyway, to try and end on a more positive note: it does remain entertaining enough that you're not bored. They filmed in real places - Le Louvre looks actually like Le Louvre - which is always a bonus. Louis XIII is awesome, and all the court intrigues are probably the best parts. And they do have a second movie coming out this December to try and make up for that one. We can expect War! Love! Tragedy! Vengeance! (and hopefully more character development?)

Sorry, that was long. All this to say: meh.