#consultant it’s like we’re changing the world and i am part of the core of it and always have been and always will be so shut the fuck up 💖

[miniaturepaperdelusion]

Research Methods Assignment 1, Part 2 of 2

Research Methods Assignment 1, Part 2 of 2. Student 3115586

09.10.22

Bridging the Gaps Podcast Episode: Asking Better Questions for Problem Solving, Innovation and Effective Leadership with Hal Gregersen. Published 27th February 2022

I chose to listen to this episode of the podcast as in class this week we discussed asking questions and I am curious to learn more about the skills of how to ask better questions as I begin new research assignments this semester.

A selection of points I found interesting:

Mary Parker Follett who lived in Boston at turn of the last century, became one of the most respected management consultants for business, government and non-profits. Way ahead of her time, at the core of her work was the dynamic interchange between two or more people where they could engage in constructive conflict during the Industrial revolution. The Covid-19 Pandemic put into hyper speed the need for digital transformation. We are in the midst of massive change similar to where Follett was in the Industrial revolution, where it can be hard to comprehend what is next. Leaders can create psychologically safe spaces where fearless inquiry leads to insight, and that insight leads to positive impact.

Catalytic questions dissolve barriers, break down assumptions and can be used to get insight relative to a challenge where we can make an impact. A catalytic question is the answer. A challenging question that can generate the energy to do something about the problem. Good questions help us to reframe a problem to understand a problem from different perspectives. Good questions are recursive, worthy of repeating over and over in order to create conversations that move things forward. An example was given of a Japanese corporation that make sensors for manufacturing environments. Their recursive question within the organisation and with customers was “why are we even doing this?” – this question creates a sense of ‘we’re going to make things better around here’. This type of questions is not the answer to everything but certainly worth keeping in mind as we navigate the world.

Amazon Executive Jeff Wilke when asked ‘how do you ask the right question?’ – responded that if you never asked questions and you never experienced anything new your mental model becomes stale. If you seek out things you don’t know and have the courage to be wrong, to have to ask more questions, then you’ll build a more complete mental model that will serve you well over the course of your life. Amazon as an organisation is embedding machine learning and deep learning in its culture with technology that is creating all kinds of connections within data we couldn’t see before. They are actively seeking the passive data, augmenting their inquiry abilities by taking full advantage of technologies, insights and correlations. The whole point is for us as human beings to reframe the way we see the world. As we move forward in a digital transformation world and embrace technology as an augmentation of our human capacity we enter a symbiotic relationship of human and machine. Our velocity of questions increases - bigger with abstract implication questions, as well as sharper more focused questions.

Gregersen offered tools on how can we learn to ask better questions – 1. Do a question biography, a question journey - Starting point is knowing what’s your history, what’s your relationship with questions. Supportive early environments enable the ability to ask challenging questions. 2. A question audit – Write down every question you ask in. 24 hours. Look at your patterns. Are there recursive questions? 3. Creating the conditions where questions can flourish, like a plant - Conditions include being wrong and being surprised. 4. Doing a question burst - Energy levels go up, reframe the problem, generate many ideas to move forward with. When we’re stuck, the uncertainty and ambiguity that we don’t know what to do can fill the space between questions with information that’s counterproductive to the problem solving. This keeps you from the better question. A time-limited question burst rather than brainstorming connects people to a challenge in a more engaged and more committed way if you’re generating questions about an issue rather than traditional brainstorming.

Sustainable creativity is impossible without a long-term vision and approach. Current demands can push us into short-term thinking. Organisations need at least a ten year vision, possibly twenty-five in order to innovate and keep evolving. Sometimes the technology isn’t ready, but they keep moving forwards using recursive questions like; “What can be done today to get us one step closer to that future?” They must be able to identify the big challenges and ways to make progress on that in the here and now.

The researcher in conversation:

Hal Gregersen is senior lecturer in leadership and innovation at MIT’s Sloan School of Management, senior fellow at Innosight, co-founder of the Innovator’s DNA consulting group, and former executive director of MIT’s Leadership Center. Before joining MIT, he taught at INSEAD, London Business School, Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth College, and Aalto University. Gregersen is also founder of the 4-24 Project, an initiative dedicated to rekindling in adults the provocative power of asking the right questions, so they can pass this crucial creativity skill on to the next generation.

Inspired by Peter Drucker’s insights into the power of questions, Gregersen’s work on innovative leadership focuses on how leaders can ask the right questions – the catalytic questions, the questions that change the world. He explores how senior leaders can ask better questions to unlock what they don’t know they don’t know – before it’s too late. Developer of the “question burst” methodology, an alternative to traditional brainstorming, Gregersen is also the creator of a unique executive development experience “leadership and the lens”, which draws on photography and innovation to teach leaders how to ask radically better questions.

[robininthelabyrinth]

part 2 to Complications (ao3 and tumblr)

-

“What do you mean you didn’t tell Wei Wuxian about it?” Nie Huaisang asked, feeling as if his eyebrows had just gone up as high as the clouds. “You tell Wei-xiong everything.”

Jiang Cheng scowled forbiddingly at him, but years of dealing with his da-ge’s much scarier version had made Nie Huaisang immune to any hint less than an outright “fuck off” – though it looked like Jiang Cheng was starting to consider that.

“You really do tell him everything, though,” Nie Huaisang protested. “Also, if you tell me to get lost, I will, and then who’ll rub your feet for you?”

“The maid,” Jiang Cheng said pointedly. “Whose job it is.”

Nie Huaisang sniffed. “Jiang-xiong, really! As if she’d be half as good as me.”

“At least I wouldn’t have to worry that she was volunteering to do it because of some undisclosed foot fetish.”

“I said you had pretty feet once.”

“First off, it was not once. Second, my ankles are swollen, I have calluses in places I never expected, and I’m pretty sure they stink,” Jiang Cheng growled. “They’re not pretty.”

“How would you know? It’s not like you can see them this late in the game.”

Jiang Cheng looked as if he was considering kicking Nie Huaisang in the head, so Nie Huaisang decided it was time to change the subject. The weight thing was a bit of a sensitive issue, since Jiang Cheng’s body had helpfully barely shown any evidence of the child he’d decided to keep until there was only a month or two left and then suddenly swell up in a vengeance; it was what had forced him to retreat off the field, claiming a flare-up of an old injury incurred during the fall of the Lotus Pier.

It was a damn good cover story, actually, which was why Nie Huaisang was constantly stunned at the fact that his brother had been the one to come up with it.

“Really, though,” he said. “Why not tell Wei-xiong? It’s not like he isn’t back now, even if he is off glorifying in his demonic cultivation instead of taking your position as leader of the Jiang clan forces.”

“He’s doing what he thinks is right,” Jiang Cheng said at once, because he always defended Wei Wuxian no matter what he did. “And anyway, his demonic cultivation is more effective –”

“Than your entire Jiang sect?” Nie Huaisang interjected, making clear his doubts on the subject. “My brother wrote to me about it; he said that that demonic cultivation of Wei-xiong is like a cannon – devastating when used correctly, but no match for sheer might in numbers.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell him, though,” Jiang Cheng said, and he suddenly looked tired. “He’s been trying so hard to help fight the Wens, with his demonic cultivation and everything, and he took – he takes everything really personally, you know? Mother asked him to look after me, and he seems to think that’s his only purpose in life now. It was bad enough with – with Wen Zhuliu. If he knew about this…”

Nie Huaisang nodded, sympathetic. Jiang Cheng had been suffering from mood swings the past few weeks, and in one particularly bad bout of them had confessed the entire painful story of the Lotus Pier and the immediate aftermath to Nie Huaisang. It’d been a bad night, and one in which Nie Huaisang had deeply wished he could offer some sort of alcohol or something as a remedy – the doctors had insisted on putting Jiang Cheng on strict diet, including a limitation on wine – but in the end he thought it had helped Jiang Cheng to talk about it.

Besides, Jiang Cheng was right about how sensitive Wei Wuxian could be.

“I’ll have to tell him eventually,” Jiang Cheng continued, looking a bit downcast. “Unlike most of the cultivation world, he knows I’m misaligned. It’s not like he’d believe I did the siring, and there’s no one else who it could have been…”

“Tell him it’s mine,” Nie Huaisang said, and grinned when Jiang Cheng gave him a look. “No, really! What a story that’d be, huh? Our Nie sect is protective of its children, so we would have gone through some really picturesque agony in deciding to let you claim it as a Jiang child –”

“Picturesque agony,” Jiang Cheng said, and he was aiming for judging but mostly coming off like he wanted to laugh. “What makes agony picturesque?”

“The fact that it’s theoretical,” Nie Huaisang said promptly, and that actually got a bark of laughter out of Jiang Cheng, as he’d hoped.

“Okay, go on,” he said, leaning back and giving Nie Huaisang an expectant look. “Your brother always says you’re good at making up stories that sound plausible. How could the brat have been yours? You weren’t even there.”

“Ah, but you’re not thinking of the right time!” Nie Huaisang said with a grin, holding up a finger. “The child was actually conceived earlier, back when we were at the indoctrination camp with the Qiongqi and everything; you and I sought comfort in each other’s arms –”

Jiang Cheng gave an incredulous snort.

“Shut up, it’s a romantic turn of phrase. Anyway, it was a spur of the moment thing, one time, and then next thing you know – child!”

“And when people other than Wei Wuxian start asking about how two men can have a child?”

Nie Huaisang lifted his fan up to his face and batted his eyelashes. “Well, Jiang-xiong, I am from Qinghe.”

“You’re an idiot is what you are. Not only are you not a woman in any way, the timelines don’t even work; those two incidents were too far apart. The brat’s not another Nezha.”

“Stop spoiling my fun. How am I supposed to get access to your pretty, pretty feet if you don’t let me have some ancestry with the baby?”

“I will kick you.”

“Maybe we’ve been secretly carrying on for years,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “In secret, of course, for – reasons that I will think of later. I went on a shopping trip a few weeks before everything happened; I could have swung down towards Yunmeng, and you could have come up on an overnight trip. You flew your sword to meet me in the middle, and we had a stolen night of passion –”

“We were literally engaged when we were younger,” Jiang Cheng said. “We wouldn’t need to steal anything.”

“We thought it was more romantic that way?”

“Try again.”

“Tough audience,” Nie Huaisang complained. “You know, most people aren’t this nitpicky about their porn…oh, I know! We got together during your time at the Cloud Recesses and were just on the verge of announcing that we wanted to resurrect our engagement when your father agreed to repudiate your sister’s; we thought it’d be rude to rub it into her face, so we decided to wait three years to tell everyone.”

“Three years?” Jiang Cheng frowned, doing the math. “Hmm. I guess that would work.”

“We would have just been nerving ourselves up to finally tell people,” Nie Huaisang said enthusiastically. “That’s why we agreed to meet! And there was wine, and moonlight, and things got out of hand, and next thing you know…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be good at porn?” Jiang Cheng complained. “What’s with all this ‘next thing you know’s?”

Nie Huaisang grinned at Jiang Cheng. “If you want me to tell you something spicy, Jiang-gege, you need only ask…”

“Never mind,” Jiang Cheng said hastily, his cheeks turning red at once. “And don’t call me gege in that tone of voice, you sound perverted.”

“As perverted as when I talk about your feet?”

Jiang Cheng really did try to kick him for that one.

“Ouch!” Nie Huaisang cried, playing it up even though Jiang Cheng had been slow enough that even he could have dodged if he’d made even half an effort, and anyway the kick itself was extremely light. “Jiang-xiong, don’t you know you’re supposed to wait until we’re married to start beating your wife?”

“Nie Huaisang…!”

Nie Huaisang couldn’t help it and started laughing.

“But no, really,” he said, wiping his eyes a moment later. “If you didn’t tell Wei-xiong, what does he think you’re doing here? Did you feed him the same ‘complications’ line as everyone else?”

“More or less,” Jiang Cheng said. “I told him I needed some time to go stabilize my qi, since I hadn’t had a moment to do it since my golden core was restored.”

“That’s a good idea, actually,” Nie Huaisang said, diverted by the idea of a good story. “You don’t know how Baosan Sanren brought it back, and whether it works exactly the same way – you said it even felt a little stronger than before, but too much strength all of a sudden can be bad, too. You don’t want to risk a qi deviation. Even a small one that could hurt your future potential.”

“That’s what I told him,” Jiang Cheng said, nodding. “I also asked if he could maybe consider looking into qi deviations more generally in the future, though I didn’t say why. He’s enough of a genius to come up with demonic cultivation; maybe he can do something about – about your family’s issue.”

Nie Huaisang’s heart softened. He didn’t think it was likely after countless generations of trying, but he appreciated that Jiang Cheng had thought of it. “You know my brother doesn’t expected to be paid back for helping you – either now, or back when you were still a child.”

“I know,” Jiang Cheng said, groaning. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to, if I could. But he’s so self-sufficient! What can I possibly do for him?”

“Now you know what I go through every birthday,” Nie Huaisang told him. “See, this is why we should get married; that way we can suffer through the uncertainty together.”

“Get lost.”

“If you insist…”

“Get your hands back on my feet.”

Nie Huaisang grinned and turned back to his work. “How did Wei-xiong take it, anyway? He must have been worried.”

“He said he was going to try to find someone to consult with and ran off at once,” Jiang Cheng said, and now he was scowling again. “When what I meant was that he could use that to fill his time while he stayed at the Jiang camp to help lead it, instead of me having to owe your brother another favor.”

“Wei-xiong was raised to be a head disciple, not a sect leader,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “He thinks more about what’s right and what’s wrong than he does about what’s necessary, because in the end those decisions aren’t his to bear.”

Jiang Cheng was quiet for a while after that, clearly turning something over in his head. Nie Huaisang didn’t say anything, focusing instead of soothing his friend’s feet and asking the maids to bring them some more snacks, especially the painfully salty ones that Jiang Cheng had become so fond of.

“I still think my father wanted the sect to go to him,” he finally said.

There was no need to ask who.

“He’s not actually your father’s bastard,” Nie Huaisang said. He didn’t bother with assurances that Jiang Cheng would never believe; he had too much experience in being the worse half of a comparison for that. “So it wouldn’t have worked, anyway.”

“No, I mean – I think that if you and I weren’t already engaged when Wei Wuxian was found, if your brother hadn’t already made everyone treat me like a boy by then, I think my father would’ve set up a marriage between us.”

“Between you and Wei-xiong?” Nie Huaisang’s head hurt at the thought. “But you’re more like brothers than anything else!”

“He wouldn’t have known it then, would he? And that way Wei Wuxian would be the Sect Leader, even if his children would be named Jiang.”

“That’s really stupid,” Nie Huaisang said. “Even if you married him, shouldn’t you still be sect leader, and him first disciple? It’s not really the Jiang clan if it’s lead by someone with a different surname –”

Jiang Cheng started laughing. “No, no, it’s nothing,” he said when Nie Huaisang looked askance at him. “I keep forgetting you’re from Qinghe, where the only thing that matters is the saber. Yunmeng Jiang doesn’t allow women to inherit roles in the sect; that’s why I’m the heir, and not Jiang Yanli, and why the original plan was for one of my cousins to be the heir.”

“What? That’s so stupid. What if there’s a curse on the generation so that everyone bears only girls? Does the Jiang sect just fall over and die?”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes were starting to tear up from laughter, and he put his hand on his rounded belly to stabilize it. “I don’t know. That seems pretty unlikely, though, doesn’t it?”

“Unlikely my ass! Legend has it that it happened to one of my ancestors.”

“And everyone in the next generation was a girl?”

“Misaligned or otherwise, yeah. And shortly afterwards there was a whole thing with this one saber spirit deciding to possess a human body – it’s a long story, with lots of dead people; I’d tell it to you, but I can’t do it justice the way one of our clan storytellers would. You’ll just have to wait until we’re married.”

“We’re not getting married, Nie Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng said, long-suffering.

“You still haven’t given me a good reason why not,” Nie Huaisang said, undeterred. “It’s all been bullshit ‘I can’t burden you like that’ sort of stuff, and I already told you I don’t care.”

“Do you want to be kicked again?”

“No, but I could negotiate being stepped on –”

“Nie Huaisang!”

[fanficflaneuse]

One Day - Part 3

A/N: Hello, Magical tumblr friends! I have absolutely no self control. Writing has flown very easily lately and I just want to post as soon as I finish. First, as always, I want to thank you for all of your love and support. This has been awesome so far. Every little heart, reblog and note makes my heart soar. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Second, I really want to apologize in case my writing has too many mistakes. I’m a perfectionist. I usually try very hard to be polished and strive to have a near perfect grammar and spelling, but English is not my first language, so even when I reread my writing time and time again I still find a lot of mistakes. I’m sorry! I’m really trying my best and hopefully it gets better :) 

Third, this post features Fragment 31 by greek poet Sappho, translated by Jim Powell. 

Details: 

Draco x reader (she/her pronouns) Word count: 1465 Summary: One day AU. Post-war. Since The Battle of Hogwarts, Draco and y/n meet one day a year.

Enjoy! 

Masterlist 

3 May, 2000

My dearest (Y/N/N),

I imagine you probably want to burn me at the stake right now. I know I promised to write as often as possible, but the things I’ve experienced in the last few weeks have shaken me to my core. And I can already imagine you saying something along the lines of “there’s always time to scribble a few lines, it’s not that hard, Dray”, but not everyone is a talented writer like you, darling. Be it as it may, in case my words don’t grant me your forgiveness with this letter you’ll find a couple of books I’ve read lately and I’d love to discuss with my favourite bookworm.

I arrived in Prague last week. Oh, (Y/N/N)! What a wondrous place. It’s everything you described and so much more. I spent the first few days sightseeing and walking around. I ventured into the wizarding library you told me about and I could totally understand your excitement. I spent two whole days there and I don’t think I covered more than half of it. It reminded me a bit of Hogwarts and a great deal of you. I miss you terribly, (Y/N), and the only thing I’d change about this trip would be having you with me. We should go on a holiday together, explore a corner of the world we have yet to see. What do you say?

I started venturing into the muggle parts of the city as well. Muggle tourists seem to be three times more of a pain in the arse than wizard tourists are. All in all, I’ve learned a great deal from them as well. I’ve visited cathedrals and museums and I even consulted a muggle about their literature. As much as I hate to admit this, you’re right: there are some awfully great things out there. That Kafka fellow? An absolute genius. The way The Metamorphosis made me feel is nothing short of magical. What a gross book (in the best possible way).

What else can I tell you, love? I definitely needed all of this. I needed to get away from Britain, away from my parents, away from everything I once knew. I needed to get lost in places where my last name meant absolutely nothing. It has helped me put things into perspective and get to know myself. I haven’t found myself just yet. I don’t even know if it’s possible, to truly find oneself. But at least I’m ridden with questions and challenges to my old beliefs. I am not ashamed to tell you I’m terribly afraid of the answers, but I at least I don’t fear finding them anymore. The price of not asking myself all I have to learn is much too high.

I hope this letter finds you well, (Y/N/N). Tell me what’s new with you. Please make my days better with some of your poems and short stories. I miss them as much as I miss you (plus, I want to collect a bunch of your original works to boast when you’re a famous writer).

I send you all of those hugs I cannot give you right now.

Hope to see you soon.

Love,

Your cuddling partner.

D. M.

...

My dearest Dray,

I was thinking about sending you a howler when you owl arrived, lucky bastard. I’d say there are no words to describe how much joy your letter brings me, but I am want to be a writer so this doesn’t apply to me, I guess. I knew a change of scenery would open your mind to different things and I’m genuinely happy for you. I hope all of those questions lead you to live your truth and build a life that truly fulfils you.

Thank you for the books, love. I’m quite impressed by your selection. Muggle books? I never would’ve imagined you, of all people, would send me muggle literature. I’m so proud! And Kafka is wonderful. I only got my hands on some of his short stories. I guess I’ll give that little novel a go now that it has your approval stamp. I’ll read all of these books and send you a very extensive review. I won’t quite forgive you, though, until you drag your arse back here and we can have yet another cuddle session.

I’d love to go on a holiday with you, Dray. What do you propose? I’ve never been to America and I’m really curious of what it has to offer. I’d also love to go someplace sunny, enjoy the nice weather and hopefully get a bit tanned, don’t you think? (Or at least try…You’re so freakishly pale tanning seems like a big stretch).

I’ll tell you some of my news. Last week I started working at the Ministry. I’m part of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement now. It is a lot of work and it includes a great deal of paperwork, but at least I have Hermione, Harry and Ron with me. (They all send you their regards, by the way. Ron says that if you don’t bring gifts with you, you won’t be allowed at the Burrow anymore. Hermione scolded him, but the threat remains). I like helping people. I guess this is just a more official continuation of what we’ve been doing since we’re eleven, don’t you think? I am learning a lot and I am very busy. It makes me happy and excited for what’s to come.

Yesterday we went back to Hogwarts for the second anniversary of the battle. It was all very gloomy. The wounds are still fresh. I got back home and cried my heart out. But I feel it was absolutely necessary for us – all of us – to be there. We need to heal collectively, Dray. I know you say it’s not your place. I know a lot of people won’t be able to look past the mark in your forearm. Many others, though, asked me about you and your wellbeing. I am sure it is going to take a while, but I hope you can go back and face those demons. I wish for you to recover. I cherish the day in which we all do.

You have no idea how much I miss you, Draco Malfoy. Even Harry is jealous. It’s not my fault that our cuddle partnership is absolutely awesome and that he’s a terrible cuddler. I guess you’re my one and only.

I have a bunch of short stories in the works. To be honest I have been a bit lazy lately. I’m so tired once I get home that I don’t really have enough patience to work on my tragic heroines. I’ve been writing a lot of poetry, though. I write verses on napkins and stray pieces of parchment, on the back of the forms I have to fill or at the margins of the books I’m currently reading. I’ll send you a couple of them.

(…) once I look at you for a moment, I can't speak any longer,

but my tongue breaks down, and then all at once a subtle fire races inside my skin, my eyes can't see a thing and a whirring whistle thrums at my hearing,

cold sweat covers me and a trembling takes ahold of me all over: I'm greener than the grass is and appear to myself to be little short of dying.

Hope to see you soon.

Love,

Your cuddling partner.

(Your Initials).

Draco unfolded the letter and read it for the tenth time. He loved how (Y/N) could write the most erudite poems and elaborate stories, yet her letters seemed to have a more conversational tone. It made him feel closer to her. He could imagine her saying every single sentence out loud, complete with guessing where would she breathe, laugh or make dramatic pauses.

In the last two years, Draco and (Y/N) had built a one of a kind friendship. It was foreign territory even to her, who was used to a tight-knit group of friends. He’d be lying if he didn’t admit that his heart almost leaped out of his chest when he read the words “you’re my one and only”. If he had to guess, he’d say she had written that in a more teasing tone. After all, he had started with the pet names.

And yet.

The poem was the icing on the cake. He wanted to think she had written it with him in mind. Reading her writing was like having access to a very reserved piece of her mind he’d never quite grasp. And he wanted as much of it as he could get. Draco folded the letter once again and saved it with the rest. (Y/N) (Y/L/N), his best friend, would be the death of him.

Tags: @fandomscombine @okaydraco @iliketoast23 @naomi02hook

[michelebusby]

So You Want to Start a Biotech: A Bioinformatics Approach That Works

In the middle of a raging pandemic, two small biotechs (BioNTech and Moderna) have stepped up to save the world.

Biotechs are awesome.

If you want to start a biotech, you’re going to need:

A great idea

A boatload of funding

A can-do attitude

Some sort of wet lab setup

Some sort of bioinformatics setup

I am here to help with that last one with some guiding principles and a tech stack that I have used at a couple of startups that basically worked.

I did not come up with the tech stack.

A version of it was originally set up by Andrew Clark who I worked with at Gritstone Oncology and learned a lot from.  It is described from the dev ops perspective with more technical details here:

https://aws.amazon.com/partners/success/gritstone-oncology/

Here is the bioinformatics/biologist version:

1)    Startups need to move quickly.

An investor funds a biotech with a lump of money and the expectation that the company will get from point A to point B. If you don’t get to point B, the investor isn’t going to give you any more money. If you run out of money before you get to point B, you are toast.

2)    You don’t know what you are doing

The first stages of a biotech company are always research and development. The development part means that things keep changing.

Your tech stack should support getting you from point A to point B. It doesn’t necessarily need to support the final product yet. Your final product is a moving target and if you focus too much on getting that right and not getting to point B, you will burn a lot of your runway writing a lot of code that ultimately gets deleted (and by deleted I mean stuck in a GitHub repository never to be opened again).

3)    Take on technical debt

Technical debt is the cost that you have to pay for putting off for tomorrow the stuff you could have done today. Normally, it’s cheaper to do stuff properly so you don’t have to revisit it.  

In bioinformatics, and particularly in R&D, we can be a little flexible about doing things “properly.” You don’t have to pay technical debt on code that gets deleted. This isn’t an excuse to be sloppy. You should, for example, still comment your code.

I am just saying that many successful biotechs were built on shoddy Unix scripts.

We don’t have to go that far anymore, but if your programmers are swearing at you in five years about your terrible code, that’s a win! You lasted five years and grew enough to hire judgmental programmers! Congratulations!

These three points are actually the things I have seen people struggle getting their heads around. If you get right on these, the rest is just connecting the dots.

Here is the tech stack:

4)    Stick everything on an Amazon cloud

Yeah, it costs a lot.

But cloud services give you simplicity and scalability that you can’t get from a stack of servers in a closet. This is important because you don’t know what you are doing yet so you don’t what you need.

There are a bunch of cloud solutions. I have used Amazon and that worked fine. A very basic setup would be as follows:

An s3 (simple storage service) bucket where you store most your data.

An EC2 (Elastic cloud compute) instance where your run your code

Easy, right?

The s3 buckets, if you haven’t used them, are a storage system. They look like a big computer but have a hokey and annoying file system that takes a little getting used to. They are good places to store large datasets, like the outputs of sequencing runs, but you don’t do computing on s3.

The EC2 instances look and act like regular computers/servers and can read and write data to the buckets. You can vary the size of your instance in the cloud so they can grow bigger or smaller based on how much compute power you need.

A better version of this would be to have two EC2 instances: One where you log in and one where you spin up nodes to run big jobs. These can be joined with a job scheduler such as UGER. This is a cheaper solution because you only pay for the nodes when you are using them. It also prevents two users from running into each other if they are trying to use the same resources. From here, there are many different ways to go, depending on your needs.

Amazon cloud services uses a pay-for-what-you-use model, so in general you get a bigger bill if you store more data and use more compute. The size of the bill is also based on how well you configure your setup, to make sure you aren’t reserving more things than you are using.

The exact configuration is something a good dev ops person can help you sort out. Amazon has a biotech Quickstart guide here: https://aws.amazon.com/quickstart/biotech-blueprint/

5)    Use Nextflow to run your pipelines

There are two types of biotechs: Ones that know they are biotechs and ones that think they are software development shops.

Don’t roll your own software for things where excellent solutions already exist. Especially for things that aren’t science and aren’t core to your business.

One of the biggest pain points in bioinformatics is pipelines. Pipelines are software that run other software.

For example, your complete RNA pipeline might run sequence alignment, transcript quantification, and a bunch of intermediary steps to get stuff in the right formats. Pipeline software glues all the steps together. Really great pipeline software glues it all together and makes it easy to develop and run.

Nextflow is a really great pipeline software solution. In short, it takes your shoddy Unix scripts and makes them into real code.

It takes a couple days to get used to it, but once you do it saves you a lot of time. It forces you to make your code modular with inputs and outputs. It handles multhreading on the cloud for you so you don’t have break things up into chunks or spin up multiprocessing yourself. And it can restart jobs once they fail so you can correct code and restart pipelines without, e.g. commenting out parts that already ran.

When I was at ReadCoor, I used Nextflow in my group from the beginning. It gave me the resources of a mature company from day one. For example, I set up a complete NGS stack in a couple weeks, which I could never have done with Unix scripts. And it’s free!

Nextflow also has a tower solution that controls scheduling for jobs that have to run over and over. I haven’t used that myself as it wasn’t something I needed, but for many it would be worth investigating.

There is good support within the community with the Nextflow Core project providing a lot of common bioinformatics pipelines already set up. The team also spun up a consulting service called Seqera Labs that can help you optimize your Nextflow setup (for a fee).

And if you say Nextflow three times in the mirror* on Twitter the developers will pop up and give you advice and moral support.

6)    Write all your code in python

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everyone has a favorite language. Maybe yours isn’t python. I could generalize this should say, “choose a language and stick with it.” But I won’t. You should use python.

It is a good all-rounder in terms of functionality and scalability.

It’s really popular across domains. This means you can hire either straight up programmers or more specialized bioinformaticians who know it.

Python is inherently scalable so it can be used to code small things, like plotting scripts in Jupyter notebooks, or big collaborative projects with code bases and classes.

It is also a data sciences powerhouse. Pandas is like a domain language onto itself.  Python has packages to do advanced statistics, machine learning, and smorgasbord of visualizations.

“All your code”, of course, should be taken with a grain of salt. Python can be slow and you might some day need to write some things in C++ or Rust or something.

That’s OK.

We’re just getting started.

7)    Use GitHub for version control

Put your code in GitHub. I think everyone already knows this.

8)    Write a specification now and then

It won’t kill you and it is good for setting expectations between wet and dry lab.

9)    Install a great LIMS solution

Hahahahahahhaha! Good luck. [Bioinformatician hides under desk]

10) Be good people

Finally, bioinformatics is a small community of highly skilled people with big mouths and high standards.

You can be competitive and expect a lot from people, but if you cross the line from “good person” to “not so much” everyone is going to know.

Who’s going to do all of this stuff?

Sometimes if your needs are small this can all be outsourced. There are some really great consulting companies around now. A couple ones I know for bioinformatics are Diamond Age Data Sciences and Fulcrum Genomics. KindlyOps handles compliance issues well. BioTeam does BioIT.

But if your needs are larger, or will grow larger, it’s a good idea to at least have a roadmap in your head of where you are going.

If you want to get all the skills you will need in house, you almost always have to hire from the top down. That usually means hiring really skilled people who are going to have to do grunt work for a while until the teams are sorted. Make sure they are cool with this. (Explicitly. Ask during the interview.)

Your wet lab and your dry lab should be two arms of the same lab. They need to work together, from the experiment’s design to its finish. Make sure they are cool with this.

A good core team at the beginning might consist of a bioinformatics scientist and a developer who knows dev ops on the cloud really well. If they are going to have core responsibilities within the company, their experience, salary, and hiring level should reflect that.

Outsource your IT and desktop support. This is a different skill set and your developers should not be setting up printers. They will probably do it badly and the wet lab will get annoyed and you don’t need drama to erupt about your printers.

Consider having an experienced HR professional at the C suite level. Recruiting in biotech is a nightmare and outsourcing recruitment is really expensive with varying results.  A good HR person will take care of that.

Also, every startup is at least a little bit toxic. It is just the reality of having a small team with big goals. An HR professional will do some of the very draining emotional labor of keeping the company culture afloat. That will improve your tech stack. Really.

Finally, you can’t properly talk about hiring in biotech without addressing diversity. We all have biases, and we cannot counteract them by merely trying to be a good person (though that’s certainly a start). There are concrete techniques that can help us hire the most talented team, like removing names from resumes before evaluating them. A good HR leader should be able to help you find training and establish policies to do this properly.

So that’s it.

This is far from the only approach that will work. It is just one that I have seen work. There are many paths to the top of the mountain.

Biology offers us a universe of problems and biotech offers a universe of solutions for making the world a healthier, safer place.

Don’t let the basics get in your way.

Good luck!

*Joke shamelessly stolen from Mick Watson

Edit: Because I don’t want to inadvertently slight anyone or upset the Snakemake fans, there are other pipeline tools besides Nextflow that are worth looking into. Also, many great in house solutions (l am learning to love Martian) live in slightly older biotechs and were written from necessity before the community pipeline tools became mature.

[iatheia]

EDA reviews Part 5 - books 38-46

Previous part 1, 2, 3 & 4

38) Casualties of War - a lovely story. In form and in function it is pretty much identical to the previous story, and even reveals pretty much the same info verbatim. The plot is similarly nothing outstanding, from ~5 minutes in you can tell pretty much exactly how it is going to turn out. That said, it has a much better atmosphere than the Burning, and Doctor’s characterization is also much stronger. Nice and relaxing, if a bit gory at times, and veering off towards supernatural by the end. 8/10

39) The Turing Test - Wow, these stories keep getting better and better! It is overwhelming and exuberant. Only a handful of books have even attempted to get anywhere near close into the Doctor’s psyche as this one has. Moreover, it has multiple narrators, and all three have a very different relationship with the Doctor, you get into the different facets of his persona, multiplicity of his character. You have a dashing and breathless romantic whose mere presence sweeps you off your feet, a reckless hero, an enigma, at the same time, there is a rather selfish and cruel streak as well. He is a manipulator, someone who knows more than he should and willing to use this knowledge to achieve his aims, willing to play people against each other and show a side of himself that they would be most accepting to see. It is never to the degree of Seven, this behavior is all Eight through and through, the core of his characters never sways, it’s just viewed through a different lens. The previous novels have established these facets, but more on accident, due to lack of consistency between different writers, picking one and going with it. But this is the first one I feel they were actually explored in full, though, certainly, there will be other stories to tackle this in the future as well (Caerdroia in particular comes to mind). An outstanding story through and through. 10/10

40) Endgame - Hot off the heels of the previous one, another fun story - or, at the very least, something that would have been a gem if it had managed to sustain the energy it had at the beginning. Doctor’s claustrophobia and depression were very poignant, and, as much as I loved Stranded already, it does make me look at that story in a new light with a newer appreciation. And, on top of that - this book is funny, the Doctor evading spy agents with ease is the comedy of errors. That said, in the second half there is too much runamock it’s a bit repetitive, not very well organized, they needlessly cross the ocean so many times, the situation at a given location is resolved the second the Doctor shows up on a scene, and it all ends in deus ex machina. The authors note says that the original draft was submitted unfinished, and boy does it show. Still, I had fun with it. 8/10

41) Father Time - It is hard not to notice though that some of the novels come in pairs (or trios). The Burning and the Casualties of War had a lot of overlap. Turning Test and Endgame were both based on political intrigue. And now, Endgame and Father Time, both feature some mysterious entity that know the Doctor from before, with him not knowing who they are. They are even called similarly, “The Players” and “The Hunters”. When these overlaps are so close to one another, it does rather stick out. This ark is not the first time this happened, obviously, there have been a number of stories before that makes you pause and go “wait, you’ve just done this in the previous book, too”. It’s probably more to do with how quickly the books are released one after another, so as the writers discuss some ideas, they end up being in several places....

That said, the first third of the book had me singing its praises. After going through the five stages of grief, and battling against the depression of the previous novel, the Doctor is finally reaching acceptance of his situation, and possibly nurturing hope for the future. It’s exactly the type of a fluffy story I have a weakness for. But then... you have a time skip, which gets all the pacing torn into shreds. Not only the conclusion of the first part is too abrupt, everything falling into pieces as if by accident, but also, none of the things that happened in the first part (or most of the characters that were introduced) matter for part two. It turns into a chess match play by numbers, moving characters across the board almost without any transition in service of “plot”, without much of consideration for their head space, keeping everyone rather ooc. The change in visuals is very abrupt - it’s hard to accept the Doctor as a millionaire business consultant living in a grand mansion, new family situation or not. It’s not just at odds with his bohemian persona, it also begs a question, if he is so famous, what do the UNIT and Torchwood are doing about it? And also, *sigh*. You have a sixteen year old girl, who, in the previous chapter, just been ten. And you decide to spend the next two chapters on little else than musing how “she hasn’t been interested in sex, even though she is SO HOT”, only to decide that she is interested now, actually. It comes across more than a little fetishistic, and the story continues to follow her around with the male gaze. I’m not here to follow sexual exploits of minors - not in a Doctor Who novel. It is utterly unnecessary, doesn’t add anything of value to the plot, not character driven, and made me lose pretty much all of the good will I had from the first part of the story (and I had a lot of it, because the start of it was basically perfect). In the third part, it just turns into a discount Taken story, somehow managing to lose any cohesiveness and suspension of disbelief, and fizzles out in the end. 4/10

Amnesia watch: #7. It’s a bait and switch - the Doctor was just pretending, but I’m counting it anyway.

42) Escape Velocity - I wonder, how much sponsorship did various fast food places paid for this novel.... 

And we are back with Fitz. I didn’t really say it before, but it was really rather a dick move leaving the Doctor all alone for over a century. I mean, it worked, narratively speaking (more on that later), but, still, in an option between traveling through space & time BUT leaving them alone for that long, without any idea who they are, without any network of support, letting them slowly go mad, only being there for the fun bits, versus staying with them to help them through it all, you are kind of a bad friend. Sure, Compassion was in the driver’s seat, but Fitz didn’t exactly protest all that much, did he? And why 20th century earth? If the conditions for Doctor’s maroonment was that he had to stay somewhere for over 100 years while the TARDIS repaired itself, then any other technologically advanced era that didn’t have two world wars would have sufficed? And, psst, Doctor, your adopted kid has a space armada. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind giving you one ship that would allow you at least space travel, you didn’t have to spend last 11 years on Earth - you could have went traveling, TARIS in tow on that ship, and only checked in at the deadline.

Also, I get it, memory loss is a traumatic experience, and the Doctor isn’t human, and there is a sense of wrongness. But, he has lived on Earth for over 100 years. In that time he had more memories and experiences than any human alive. After a while, this entire thing of “I don’t know who I am” should start wearing a bit thin, don’t you think?

This rant aside, the book is a bit play by numbers. A lot of unnecessary runaround, traveling from London to Brussels and back several times for no particular reason. A rather boring “aliens invading earth” plot that left me checked out for a vast majority of it. Nothing bad about it, but nothing stands out about the plot either. But, it did have several heartfelt emotional scenes - the long awaited reunion, seeing TARDIS interior again, the finale. They were fairly brief, and it’s a bit of a pity they weren’t savored for a bit longer, instead letting the plot get in the way, but the little that was there was nice. 7/10

43) EarthWorld - I was hoping to enjoy this book a bit more than I ended up, I usually am quite fond of Rayner’s works, but I guess it is one of her first books. It’s a bit monotone, landing on the side of quirky, whether it was suited for a scene or not. Also dwelling on the past quite a bit, invoking the imagery of Unearthly Child, War Games, Greatest Show in the Galaxy in a rapid succession, for no specific reason, and then dwelling for quite a long time on several previous novels in a not entirely organic way. Instead of using this as an opportunity so start afresh now that we’re finally back in the TARDIS, it feels like it is focused more than ever on recapping how they got here, especially as the previous novel offered a way out by letting Fitz forget most of the previous “ark”. There were a lot of lovely character moments - but some of it did feel overly gratuitous. Still, it’s a decent book, even if it doesn’t quite reach full marks 8/10.

44) Vanishing Point - Easily the best Steve Cole novel of the ones I’ve ever read and/or listened to. This is the fresh start to the team adventures that I was hoping for. The alien world is interesting, with great worldbuilding (which is actually kind of rare in the novels). A lot of exciting imagery. The characters are a joy to behold. Not just the trio, but the secondary characters too. The first half of the book is basically perfect. It... kind of fizzles out in the second half, never really delivering on its set up in an entirely satisfying way.

A big part of the difficulty of suspending disbelief, though, was Fitz’s leg. I twisted my ankle once. I could barely walk for several days afterwards (so it having happen at a beginning of a trip was Awful), it took months for it to fully heal, and even now it feels more wobbly than the other one. And a colleague of mine ended up getting a special boot, because she keeps twisting her ankle (always the same one). Fitz had twisted his ankle, and then he was shot in the leg. And he is running about mountains and waterfalls almost immediately. 8/10

45) Eater of Wasps - You have to give it to Baxendale, he has a very particular style. Everything described so masterfully you couldn’t help but imagining every single detail, like painting a picture before you. Even though a significant portion of it is body horror that is described exactly as lovingly as the British countryside. Never before has the title been this appropriate. Very careful in setting up the conflict and tension between the protagonists. 10/10

46) The Year of Intelligent Tigers - This story is just nice. Another one with incredible visuals and incredible feelings behind it, exuberant and overwhelming, like a hurricane. The ending is particularly strong. This is peak Eight - a force of nature, alien and unknowable, and yet, you can’t help but being swept off your feet. Stories like this one is exactly why he is the platonic ideal of who the Doctor should be.

Overall impressions so far: This was like a breath of fresh air. The “stuck on Earth all on his own” ark was not only beautifully executed, but it was also badly needed. The last time I was complaining that few novels actually did anything with Eight - he would react to the plot, but never really be affected by anything. And at the heart of it was the issue that the writers, through trial and error, did come to a consensus about who he should be, but rarely took time to actually get into his head - they started out somewhat flat-footedly, and then got swept up in other things. Here, though, they were forced to slow down and focus his undivided attention just on him, what makes him tick if you break him down to the barest essentials - so even after reuniting with the TARDIS and the companions, his portrayal is all the stronger as a result. Rather than merely reacting to the world at large, he is now an active participant.

The companions are great. There is nothing particularly special being given to Fitz to chew upon, but his presence is always welcome, especially with him being as mellow as he has been back in Autumn Mist. What is it about the Doctor that attracts so many companions with an acute case of praise kink, I wonder? Anji is also interesting, and I love seeing what’s being done with her. She slots in perfectly, delivering so sorely missed snark Compassion had in her pre-Shadow of Avalon outings, all the while having a rather unique relationship with the Doctor - acknowledging his eldritch horror moments, being one of the few who does stand up to him. Especially after the last couple of books, I’m curious to see where this goes and how it continues to build.

The books themselves are a significant step up to what was there before, which got pretty joyless for a short while, alternating between mediocre to awful. In this batch, tough? Sure, there are some weaker offerings, but even there there is at least one stand-out scene that makes the book. Even if the plot isn’t exactly the most revolutionary thing in the world, it is being made up with solid character work. Honestly, for any new readers I would recommend just starting with #37 Burning and going from there - at least so far.

[gumnut-logic]

When the World Goes Boom (Part Six)

This chapter is huge and was a challenge to write. The fic itself is now over 17,000 words. So much for a quick fic for Alan’s birthday. I give up.

Spoilers & Warnings: Spoilers for season three, angst, hurt/comfort, brothers and family, 5875 words

Many thanks to @scribbles97​​​ and @i-am-chidorixblossom​​​ for putting up with my crazy and reading this at random moments.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

I hope you enjoy it ::hugs::

-o-o-o-

There was nothing said between Jeff and his mother on the trip back to the house. Sally was of two minds. The first was to let it all play out, let Jeff trip over the brilliance of his boys and teach him the hard way that they knew what they were doing.

Not that she thought he didn’t trust them, it was more an unfamiliarity of how the family functioned in an emergency situation. This was the first time since his return that any of the boys had received a serious injury. It certainly wasn’t the first time for the family in his absence. Certain things had been put in place, certain habits came to the fore as the family retreated into itself.

Which led her to option number two - to sit him down, run interference between him and his middle son before they could blow each other’s heads off. Because that was what was likely to happen. Jeff was a lot like his eldest in temperament and John never responded well to Scott in confrontation.

So, her second option seemed the valid course.

Except Jeff refused to pick up the conversation.

Damn stubborn Tracy. The breed only came in that flavour and it could be as frustrating as hell.

As the car pulled into their driveway, she gave it one last attempt. A hand on his arm. “Jeff, hear him out.”

“I will.” Tight and dismissive.

She sighed internally and grabbed her bag, following him out of the car. The breeze was stronger than earlier and it caught her hair. “Jeff, they have been doing this a long time. They know what they are doing.”

He turned at that, one step on the front porch. “Mom, so do I.” And he turned back and entered the house.

She sighed. This was not going to end well.

Sure enough, words were already being exchanged as she entered the room.

John was frowning, his calm obviously unnerved by one of a handful of people capable of shaking it. “It was a legitimate move, Dad.”

“I’m not suggesting it wasn’t. My concern is that you did it without consultation.”

“I didn’t need to consult. It is my responsibility.”

“For my business.”

The room froze. Oh, Jeff. Her heart hurt.

“Dad, I...” Those turquoise eyes turned to her for the briefest of moments before flickering away. “The business is under the control of all of us, Dad. You know that.”

Her son swallowed, but kept his composure. “In that case then, why wasn’t I consulted?”

“Because that’s not how it works.” John straightened just a little. “Scott is the primary contact. He sees to day to day activities and calls on my assistance at need. Scott gets injured, the ultimate decision making falls to me. I made a decision to save future lives and I actioned it. I have no doubt Scott would support such a decision.”

Sally had no doubt either. Lemaire really was an idiot and it explained why they had so many rescues listing Oxy-Baker as the culprit.

Jeff swallowed visibly and Sally groaned internally. Jeff had come back from his isolation a changed man, but the core of his personality, the same aspect that had enabled him to survive so long alone, was still there. He wasn’t one to stand on the sidelines, particularly in a business he had built from the ground up.

“You created a media storm.”

“Lemaire created a media storm and Eos has it under control.”

“That control is limited and you know it. She can only delete so much before absences are noted and questions asked. You can’t jeopardise her or our operations for random gossip.”

“It is under control, Dad.”

“Then how did I find out about it?!” Great now his voice was rising.

John was still holding it together. “I know what I am doing. Lemaire cut his own throat with that broadcast. I knew he would do it and worked it into the strategy.”

“What strategy?”

“Dad-“

“Why am I never told anything? Why am I always on the outside?”

“Dad-“

But there was no stopping him. Sally’s eyes widened as her son flared like a sun gone nova.

He threw up his hands. “My own family! I, just...John, why do you shut me out?!”

John just stared. “Wha-?”

“Jeff.” Sally reached out and put a hand on her son’s arm.

He turned and stared at her, his eyes widening.

Sally opened her mouth.

Jeff’s phone rang.

The moment snapped. Sound returned to the room. Jeff’s harsh breathing. John’s wide eyes.

Her own heart beating too fast.

The phone rang a moment longer before Jeff reached into his back pocket and yanked it out.

His voice harsh. “Jeff Tracy.”

Her son kept the phone on voice only.

“Hello, Val.” His glare at John proved this discussion was not over. “They are both on the mend. Alan still need further surgery, but Scott is getting there slowly.” His voice was tight. “You know the deal, dressing changes twice a day. Burns are the worst. Virgil is on it.” A pause and a frown. “Yes, I’m fine…John and my mother, at the house.” He sighed and lowered the phone, deploying it’s holoprojector. Val Casey appeared before them all.

She frowned up at Jeff. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Val, I’m fine.”

Her lips thinned as if she didn’t believe him. Sally was not surprised. Val could always read Jeff, almost as well as her sister. The two of them used to gang up on him.

Sally had often wondered if Val could have become something more than the boys’ aunt, but Jeff had never pursued and Val just fell deeper into her career.

No doubt, Val would pursue the topic of Jeff’s health later, but for the moment she resumed the reason for her call. “We have begun investigations into the explosion and I was hoping International Rescue would be willing to share your data on the incident.”

Jeff’s eyes flickered to John. “I had assumed you had already received it.”

John caught that gaze and held it. He shook his head just a little.

Jeff’s eyes widened.

Val was talking to someone out of projector range. “Foster says she has yet to receive anything. John?” Her dark eyes turned to her nephew.

“We’re still assessing the situation, Aunt Val.”

She stared at him a moment, her lips thinning. “Very well. I will want Foster to interview Scott, Alan and John at their earliest convenience.”

“That may be some time, Val. My two boys were seriously injured.”

“I know that Jeff. I don’t like it any more than you, but there was a major explosion in orbit. We now have projectiles intruding on shipping lanes and orbital contamination. It is a mess up there. The World Council is demanding an investigation. This could affect the operation of International Rescue.”

Jeff frowned. “How?”

“There are those who claim your rescue organisation is at fault.”

“What?! Two of my sons nearly lost their lives.”

“Then prove they weren’t responsible by sharing the information.”

Jeff’s eyes hit John’s. “I will see to it.”

Val held his eyes a moment longer. “I look forward to it. GDF Command out.” The phone flicked off before anyone could comment.

“Why haven’t we cooperated with the GDF?” The words were sharp and shot at her middle grandson.

“It has become our policy to not trust the GDF.” John’s expression was resigned.

“Why?”

“The Hood has a spy in their ranks, possibly more than one.”

“The Hood is in jail.”

“It’s not the first time and it doesn’t mean much, Dad, trust me.”

Jeff’s lips thinned.

John straightened and appeared to steel himself.

Oh, for the love of-!

“Jeff.” Again, she reached out and touched his arm.

Again, it was thrown off.

Jeff opened his mouth.

John’s comms went off. “John, you there?” Gordon.

The room froze.

The astronaut stared at his father a moment longer before turning slightly and thumbing his collar. “Yes, Gordon?”

“Hey, bro, I think we have a situation.”

“What?”

“You okay?” Gordon’s tone became concerned and she could hear her fishy grandson’s frown over the commline.

“I’m fine. Details, Gordon?”

“Alan’s remembered something. We don’t think the explosion was an accident.”

As her heart sank, Sally stared as John’s turquoise hardened into obsidian.

-o-o-o-

Okay, if Virgil was honest, pushing Scott out into the sunshine wasn’t entirely just for his brother’s benefit. He closed his eyes, holding the bed still a moment as the sun hit his face.

“Oh, god, who turned the sun up?”

Shit.

Virgil grabbed his sunglasses from his pocket and handed them to his brother. They were snapped up and shoved on Scott’s face ever so fast. The wraparounds blocked out everything and the concussed man sighed in relief.

“Sorry.” So much for being the medical expert in the family.

“‘S okay.” Scott lay back and literally melted into the bed. “Feels good.”

Virgil relaxed a little and resumed pushing the bed out towards the gardens.

“Not too far, Virgil.”

His shoulders dropped. “Kayo, I just need a tree and a view. Scott needs it.”

The security officer held his gaze.

“It’s only Lemaire. The man’s an idiot.”

Her stare continued.

“Please, Kay.” Puppy dog eyes maybe?

He held it for a few seconds longer and was satisfied to see her shoulders finally drop. “Fine.” She stalked into the fore, hand signals thrown at both Jeremy and Iz and the three security officers bracketed the bed and the two men.

Oh, he was so going to pay for this.

But, yeah, totally worth it.

Kayo led them out into the park and under a tree as requested. Virgil pulled the hoverbed to a halt with a sigh. The view was magnificent.

Jeremy stepped closer and took up a position near the Tracy brothers, Iz melted into the gardens and Kayo glared at Virgil one more time before talking into her comms quietly and running a perimeter.

So going to pay for this.

“She’s going to turn your life into hell, Virg.”

“Eh, she loves me. She won’t kill me.” He walked around the bed and perched on it beside his brother. “How are you?”

The breeze caressed his cheeks and it was wonderful.

“Better to be outside of that room.”

Virgil caught the unspoken terror in his brother’s voice. “Alan is going to be fine.”

“I know.”

Virgil reached out and touched his brother’s arm. “He will be. I promise.”

Scott turned to look at him at that, tired eyes staring up at him with a fragile hope Virgil had never quite seen in them before. Scott was always the powerhouse of inspiration in their family. The leader, the mover, the focus. To see him so tentative was alarming.

It was the concussion.

It had to be the concussion.

“Are you okay?”

Virgil startled. “What?”

His brother was peering at him. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Virgil, seriously, are you okay?” Scott was frowning in concern.

Great.

“I’m fine.”

“You have bags under your eyes bigger than Grandma’s handbag.”

Virgil rolled those eyes. “Exaggeration. I just haven’t had my coffee this morning.”

Scott stared at him in alarm. “You were up that early and haven’t had coffee?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I had coffee over breakfast. Just haven’t had my morning refill.”

That stare continued. Ever so great. Now Scott was worried about him. “I’m fine. You’re the sick one.” He turned away so his brother couldn’t stare at him any longer.

“Did you sleep?”

“I slept.” A couple of hours at least.

“For goodness sake, Virg-“

He placed a hand on his brother’s arm. “I’m fine. Quit worrying.”

“It’s my job.”

“You’re on sick leave. Give it up.”

“Look after yourself.”

“I am. Just drop it, okay. I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Exactly.” But it was said under his brother’s breath and Virgil doubted he was supposed to hear it. He ignored it anyway and turned away to focus on being outside and free from the confines of the hospital.

Scott appeared to give up, though he did manage to shoot Virgil a concerned look every now and again.

Virgil ignored him and just sat back against the headboard with his brother and relaxed.

He was on the verge of dozing off when his comms squawked at him. As he focussed enough to answer, Kayo swept out of the shrubbery and joined them.

Virgil’s heart sank even before he heard Gordon’s voice.

The explosion wasn’t an accident.

-o-o-o-

The room was ever so much more depressing and confined with so many people in it.

Their father and grandmother returned to the hospital, this time bringing John with them. Virgil noticed from the moment his middle brother walked through the door that something was up between him and Dad.

When Aunt Val and her second walked in behind him, Virgil realised exactly what.

Their Aunt immediately moved to both Scott and Alan, enquiring after their health. Her second, Captain Foster appeared both fearful and uncomfortable and had every right to both emotions.

Virgil glanced at Scott and found the expected concerned expression on his face.

But his brother shook himself and the commander made an appearance, his expression calming while his blue eyes missed not a thing. Virgil both welcomed it as a sign of his recovery and with a little bit of dread. Scott had never been entirely convinced Foster was innocent in the Hood’s theft of her identity. Virgil was of two minds himself, but everything IR could access…and that was a lot with Eos up their sleeve along with John…just proved her innocence more.

So, they treated her as innocent.

“Aunt Val, what brings you here?” Scott lay back against his pillow, his eyes tracking the people in the room.

Alan, in contrast was beginning to look tired.

When Scott and Virgil returned to the room with Kayo, the astronaut had been energetic, fuelled by his own discovery and worry. The words had literally fallen from his mouth in report to Scott. Virgil had shoved the beds together and the eldest brother had reached out to gently touch and reassure the youngest. It had been an important moment for them. Virgil hadn’t missed the tremble in his big brother’s voice or his inability to let his brother go.

Alan hadn’t minded in the slightest.

Virgil himself stood to one side listening as both Eos and Alan filled gaps in the picture. Scott’s expression hardened with each word.

Understandable.

Virgil wasn’t impressed in the slightest that someone was responsible for nearly killing two of his brothers.

Kayo went ballistic.

More security was ordered and her voice was sharp over comms. Virgil had no doubt the hospital was now tighter than Fort Knox.

“Commander, I have a report that you don’t believe the orbital explosion was an accident.” The colonel’s voice was crisp and clear.

Scott’s eyes darted to his father.

Jeff straightened just a little his expression firming up.

That blue gaze darted to John and their middle brother’s posture parroted that of their father with just a touch of defiance. The flicker of comprehension in Scott’s eyes reflected Virgil’s assessment of the situation. There was definitely an argument on simmer in the room.

Scott pushed himself up in the bed and Virgil jumped in to help. He could understand not wanting to face this lying down.

Scott grabbed at his head and closed his eyes.

“Hey, take it slow.” Virgil caught his brother’s shoulders and shot a glare at his father. Goddamnit, if this set Scott back after all the progress today, John wasn’t the only one who was going to be in an argument with his father.

“I’m okay, Virg.”

Pillows were shoved in to support Scott and the commander sat up straight, not quite high enough to look Casey in the eye, but impressive enough.

Virgil stood beside him.

“Colonel, we have only just now discovered there may be a possibility that the explosion was not an accident.”

“I need details.”

Scott’s eye darted to Foster for the barest of fractions. “I would prefer to do my own investigation of this matter. I need further information.”

“This is GDF jurisdiction, Scott.”

His brother’s lips thinned. He knew their aunt was right, but trust had been eroded after so many failures on the GDF’s part.

“There are some discrepancies in the station’s records. We suspect they have been masking their intake of both precious metals and radioactive materials.”

Her dark eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“That is what we need to find out.”

“Do you have proof?”

Scott turned to John and every eye in the room followed. The astronaut didn’t blink, his voice cool as he answered. “You will have our records shortly.”

“Thank you, John.”

John didn’t answer.

Virgil frowned.

Their father stepped forward. “Thank you, Val. Keep us in the loop?”

“Of course.”

Scott’s lips thinned further. “Colonel, I would appreciate this information being kept in confidence.”

It was Casey’s turn to straighten. “Of course, Commander.”

Scott dipped his head just slightly. “Thank you.”

There was a sudden silence in the room.

It was broken by a snore.

Virgil turned to find Alan flaked out in his bed, on his back, dead to the world. The medic flared. “I would appreciate it if my brothers were allowed to rest. It has been a long day and they are still recuperating. His glare landed on their father and the man met him eye to eye.

It was the Colonel who had the apology. “I’m sorry, Virgil, but this was important.”

“I’m aware of that, Aunt Val, but Alan was seriously injured. We came very close to losing him. So, you will need to excuse us if we are a little protective.” On the bed next to him, Scott flinched. Damn. Poor choice of words.

Virgil dropped a hand onto Scott’s forearm and squeezed gently without looking at his brother.

“I can respect that, but I will require Captain Foster to interview both Alan and Scott as part of this investigation as soon as possible.”

Virgil took a single step between his brothers and his aunt. “It will have to wait until at least tomorrow, Colonel. Both need more time.”

“You are not a doctor, Virgil.”

Of course, that set off his grandmother. “But I am, Val, and Virgil is correct. You are going to have to be patient.”

Alan snorted in his sleep. Gordon, sitting on the end of his little brother’s bed, lay a hand on Alan’s leg. There was a frown on the aquanaut’s face.

“I am trying to help you, Sal.”

“I know that, but you will have to wait. Our boys aren’t up to it yet.”

The colonel’s dark eyes turned to the eldest man in the room. “Jeff?”

Grey eyes darted from their grandmother to the sleeping Alan to the glaring blue staring from Scott’s bed.

A soft sigh. “My mother, as always, is correct, Val. We will have to wait.”

Val dipped her head in defeat. “Jeff, as soon as possible.”

“You have my word.”

With that the colonel looked to each of them, turned and left, taking Captain Foster with her.

As the door clicked closed, their father rounded on them. “What was that?”

Scott frowned. “What was what?”

“That was your aunt. Your mother’s sister. I would think you would treat her with a little more trust and respect.”

“Dad, that was Colonel Casey of the GDF. This is a professional relationship and we treat it as such. We have had difficulties with the GDF multiple times in the past. I can not afford to trust that organisation blindly. Aunt Val, yes, she means well, but she is not in control of every person in the Force. I will not trust them any more than I have to.”

“Why?”

Scott stared at his father a moment before turning to John. “Make sure Dad has the necessary mission reports as soon as possible.”

John’s FAB was very quiet.  

Their father returned Scott’s stare with equal wattage, his eyes grey stone. “I see we need to have an extended discussion.”

Scott dipped his head just slightly. “Yes, sir, we do.”

The ‘sir’ floated around the room like a harbinger. Scott hadn’t addressed his father like that in over nine years.

“Jeff, I think we should talk about this later. These boys need their rest.” As if to punctuate his grandmother’s request, Alan snorted and rolled over in his sleep. His soft whimper as he landed on his injuries had Gordon moving fast to gently prod him in the opposite direction.

Virgil winced, and realised he was still standing in defence of his eldest brother even though their Aunt had already left. A swallow and he stepped back to Scott��s side. He didn’t miss his grandmother eyeing him.

Grandma reached up and placed a hand on their father’s arm. “C’mon, Jefferson, you need rest.”

He turned to look at his mother. His shoulders sagged just a little.

Her hand travelled around his back and her touch became a one-armed hug. “You boys get some rest, too.” Blue eyes pinned both Scott and Virgil in particular.

Virgil let his head nod just once as Grandma steered her son out of the room. Their father must be really tired to allow himself to be herded like that.

But then this was Grandma.

Virgil sighed as the door closed behind them. Grabbing a plastic chair, he let himself drop into it beside Scott and for a moment just sprawled there.

“That could have gone a bit better.”

“You’re telling me.” Scott’s tone was as tired as Virgil felt. “Dad’s pissed.”

“Don’t blame him.” Gordon’s expression was sad.

It was Scott’s turn to sigh. “No…god, I’m tired.”

That perked up Virgil and, in a moment, he was standing again, fussing at his brother to lie down.

Scott glared at him, but surrendered without complaint, proof of exactly how much that little meeting had taken out of him.

“I’m sorry, Scott, but that’s not all of it.” John moved quietly closer to the bed; his expression just sad. “Dad feels we are shutting him out. That we are not including him in the decision-making process.”

That explained the tension on John’s face when he arrived.

Scott rubbed his face. “I…uh.” He let a breath out in a rush. “FAB.”

“I’ll speak to him tonight.” Virgil’s voice was rough and both Scott and John, along with Gordon in the background, turned to him.

“Virgil, are you okay?” John’s eyes were suddenly concerned.

Virgil cleared his throat and his voice came out more its usual depth. “I’m fine, why?”

His brothers’ frowns didn’t disappear, but Virgil pre-empted further discussion of his health by speaking further. “I’ll talk to him tonight. Hopefully he will have had a rest by then. We’re all tired. Tempers are guaranteed to be short.”

Scott grunted.

As if to parrot his big brother, Alan snorted again.

Gordon stifled a laugh.

Scott glared at him.

Virgil rolled his eyes and threw himself back into the chair.

Concerned turquoise eyes followed him, but Virgil ignored them.

God, he was tired. A blink. His coffee. He never got his damned coffee. Explained the tired.

He rubbed his face fit to erase it and lay back.

It could all wait a few minutes.

-o-o-o-

“Do you think he knows?”

“Of course, he knows. How could he possibly not?”

“He’s asleep. How could he know?”

“Because you never shut up about it.”

“Can it, you two, or you’ll wake him up!” The hissed whisper was closer and definitely Scott.

“I think that would be a good idea considering he is about to fall off that chair.” Gordon? Yes, Gordon.

Virgil shifted and realised he was not in a comfortable position. Not comfortable in the slightest.

He groaned as his body complained. Ow.

“Now, see that? You’ve done it. You just couldn’t shut up, could you?”

A gentle hand touched Virgil’s shoulder and he shifted again. Oh god, what had he done to himself.

“Hey, Virg, take it easy, you’re going to fall off the chair.”

Chair? Wha-? He forced his eyes open.

Just in time for whatever was under him to tip sideways.

The world tumbled into a mess of linoleum, orange and bruising hard surfaces.

Strong hands caught him though.

“Shit, Virg, you okay?”

The orange? The orange was Gordon. Virgil blinked attempting force clarity into his thoughts. His butt hurt and he had whacked a foot, but those strong arms of his little brother had caught all the important bits. A dazed stare up into eyes as brown as his own and his brain came mostly online.

“Ugh, Gordon? What the hell?”

“You fell off your chair.”

Virgil struggled to right himself and his brother helped him to sit up. He was on the floor. Scott was peering over the edge of his bed down at him, a worried frown on his face. “You okay, Virgil?”

He ran a hand over his face. “Uh, yeah, I guess. Thanks, Gords.”

“All part of the service.” As usual, Gordon’s tone was light, but Virgil didn’t miss the fact his brother hadn’t let him go yet. “You fell asleep. Did you know you snore like a frog?”

He turned to his brother. “What?”

“A genuine frog. I can even name the species. Mating call and all. I suggest you don’t fall asleep next to a pond. You may wake up with some interested, but somewhat slimy female admirers.”

Virgil stared at Gordon for a full second before giving up and shaking the man off so he could roll to his feet.

Ow, everything creaked. “How long?”

Scott’s eyes followed him as he staggered upright. “Maybe a couple of hours. You were tired.”

Still was. He rubbed his face again.

“You missed lunch.”

Huh? Food. His stomach groaned. “I’m good.”

“Bullshit, Virgil. Go home, you need food and a bed.”

He ran his hands through his hair. Ugh, sleep inertia. His brain was fog. He just needed a moment.

He grabbed his chair and righted it as his fish brother unfolded from the floor. His sore butt hit the plastic of the seat and he groaned. “I need coffee.”

Gordon snickered obviously ignoring the warning in those words.

Scott’s voice was firm. “Gordon, could you please get Virgil some coffee.”

That prompted a glare war between brothers that Virgil had no energy to umpire.

Blue must have won over brown like it usually did, because Gordon stomped off.

“You okay, Virg?” Alan’s voice came from somewhere beyond Scott.

Virgil grunted.

“Give him a minute…or sixty.” The grin in Scott’s voice was just offensive.

“Shut up.”

Gordon returned with what turned out to be a decent and wonderful and, oh god, coffee. So warm, so longed for. “Gordon, I love you.”

His brother snorted. “Figured, but I’m thinking you love the coffee more right now.”

“Mmm-hmm.” His eyes were closed and the smell. Ohhhh!

Someone was giggling but he didn’t care in the slightest.

Coffee.

It was a few reverential moments and some steaming liquid of the gods later before he surfaced enough to discover three pairs of eyes smirking at him.

Three.

“Where’s John?”

It was Scott who answered. “Lemaire threw another fit. He returned to the house to tackle it.”

“Another one? I thought John had the business secured.”

Scott sighed. “He does as far as I can see. Lemaire is just hounding the press.” Virgil narrowed his gaze at his eldest brother, suspicious. Scott rolled his eyes. “And before you ask, yes, I did fall asleep, but your snoring woke me up.”

“And me.” But Alan was grinning, obviously feeling better for his nap. “What frog was that, Gordo?”

“An African bullfrog. A big fat nasty one, just woke up from hibernation. Kinda applicable really, considering.” Gordon’s grin was fit to split his face in half.

Virgil ignored him and guzzled the dregs of his coffee.

Perhaps Scott was right. Maybe he should go home if he was disturbing his brothers.

A hand touched his arm. Scott’s voice was quiet and sincere. “Virg, go home. You’re wearing yourself out. Alan and I are fine. We will be fine. Go home.”

Virgil swallowed and nodded. “Okay.”

The door to the room opened and a nurse entered. “Mr Alan Tracy, it is time for your dressings change.”

Virgil blinked. It was that late? Where the hell had the day gone?

He pushed himself to his feet. He could hang for another half hour or so.

Scott groaned softly as Virgil moved his bed out of the way so they could undock Alan’s bed. “Virg, go home.”

“I will. After Alan’s had his dressings changed.”

“Virg-“

“I’m good. Gordon, hang with Scott and sing him a lullaby. Here hold my coffee cup.” He shoved the empty mug into his gaping brother’s hand and helped push Alan’s bed out of the room.

Alan’s giggle made it worth it.

-o-o-o-

The giggle lasted until they entered the procedure room and then nothing could deny the seriousness of the situation. They left Jez and Brie at the door to give them privacy.

As Alan’s bed was docked and the protective sheets laid beside him, Virgil moved to take up a position at the head of the bed and gently rested his hand in Alan’s hair. Out of the way, but still in contact with his little brother.

During previous procedures, Virgil had moved to the other side of the bed, but this time he wanted a better view.

Maybe down the track, he would be able to help his brother through his recovery.

The nurse left for a moment and Alan looked up, his hair soft against the palm of Virgil’s hand. “Thanks for this. I know it sucks to watch, but thanks for being here, bro.”

A small smile. “Anytime, Allie.”

He could have let Gordon come in his stead, but Gordon was as much his little brother as Alan, and while they were all adults…well, almost, his fingers brushed blond locks involuntarily…every instinct still called to protect them.

If he was honest, Virgil would have to admit that his family was everything to him.

He would do anything for his brothers.

A small sigh. He must be tired. He was getting maudlin.

The nurse returned, bustling in with a hypodermic. She smiled at Alan and he forced a grin. “Got me the good drugs again?”

“Certainly, Mr Tracy. Only the best for our best patients.” Her smile was genuine and friendly.

She prodded his brother’s IV line and injected the medication. “Let’s give that a few moments to do its thing.”

Alan grinned. “Bring on the psychedelic butterflies.”

The nurse only smiled and finished up. “It will be over before you know it, Mr Tracy.”

Virgil hoped so.

The next few moments were quiet as Alan settled.

Virgil found himself gently stroking his brother’s hair.

He wasn’t sure if it was for Alan or himself. Maybe it was for both of them.

Eventually, the door opened and the same nurse from this morning entered pushing a small tray of supplies.

Alan grinned. “Joe, you’ve come back for a second round.”

The young man smiled in return. “Wouldn’t miss it. How are you feeling?”

“Oh, the good stuff is doing its stuff. Can barely feel a thing.”

The nurse stepped up to the side of the bed, giving Virgil the barest of nods. “That’s what we like to hear. Have to make sure we have a happy customer.”

“Give me a little more and I’ll be more than happy.”

The nurse snorted as he lined up his tools. “Kelly says you’ve had just the right amount, Alan. Wouldn’t want you to go loopy on us.”

“Sounds like fun. Hey, Virg, is it fun?”

Virgil blinked. “Is what fun?”

“Being high as a kite. Joe, you should see what stuff like this does to my brother.”

“Alan…”

The nurse looked up at Virgil and a small smile spread across his face. “Really? What does it do?”

Virgil groaned. “Alan-“

“He gets funny. One time he tried to walk through a wall. Another time, he proposed to Kayo, his sister.” Alan giggled. So much for not being as high as a kite.

“Alan, please.”

“It’s okay, Virg. We still love you.”

Blue eyes were looking up at him and smiling.

God, Allie.

The nurse pulled out a hypodermic needle. “Now I’m just going to put in a local anaesthetic and we’ll get started.” He began uncovering Alan’s arm.

Virgil frowned. “Why does he need a local? He has a nerve depressant in place.”

The nurse blinked at him. “This is part of the procedure.”

“No, it’s not. I’ve attended every session with Alan. He has not needed a local anaesthetic before. You didn’t give him one this morning.”

The nurse turned towards him. “He was in pain this morning. I felt this would help.” The man turned back to Alan and pulled the covers off his arm.

“Which local are you using?”

The man didn’t stop what he was doing. “Why?”

“Virg, what’s wrong?” Concerned blue eyes stared up at him from the bed.

“Just asking some questions, Allie.” He turned back to Joe. “Can you please stop a moment and explain what you are doing?”

Joe straightened and turned to Virgil, resignation on his face. “I guess I’ll have to.”

A blur of movement, a sharp pain in his neck, heat and shock as he was flung away from the bed. His head hit something hard and the world sparkled in a rain of stars.

“Virgil!”

Alan!

What the f-?!

“You had to be a smart ass, didn’t you. Couldn’t make this easy. No…bloody Tracys!”

Virgil’s brain derailed for a second. The man beside the bed doubled as he reloaded the syringe. “Two Tracys instead of one, can’t hurt, s’pose.”

“Al-lan, r-run!” He fumbled for his collar. “J..J..ez.” Where was his voice? He lurched a step. “Alan!”

His brother was responding, ever so slowly, dragging himself off the bed, his sedated body ever so heavy.

Heavy…Virgil listed to one side and struggled to right himself.

Joe had the hypodermic charged again. He turned to Alan.

No!

Virgil threw himself forward and crashed into that doubling figure.

They went down with a resounding crash. Surgical tools went flying.

“Goddamnit! What does it take to shut you up?!”

Virgil wrestled with the man, but he was uncoordinated and numb. Joe slapped him across the face with an empty medical tray and everything vanished in pain for too many moments.

But he had a grip on an arm and he wasn’t going to let go.

The man struggled, fighting him, and Virgil again tried his collar comms his thick fingers fumbling. “Jez…Jeremy, please!” Not Allie, please not Allie, don’t hurt Allie.

White hot pain flared in his arm.

Not Allie.

Again, sharp, hot and burning.

Again. He whimpered.

“Get off me, you annoying piece of sh-“

Something stabbed into him and stayed there just as the room exploded with noise.

Not Allie.

“Scott, help…please…”

Everything came down to that fist and what it held.

Not Allie.

Not Allie.

Not.

Alli-

-o-o-o-

End Part Six

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

One nation under influence

Chico News Review     By Evan Tuchinsky    October 16, 2020    

Chico State Professor Emerita of Sociology, and cult expert, Janja Lalich

Since teaching her last class at Chico State in June 2018, Janja Lalich—professor emerita of sociology and a preeminent expert on cults—has not eased her way into retirement.

...

Her work getting the most attention now: two documentaries on NXIVM (pronounced NEX-ee-um)—an ostensible self-help organization that masked the sex-slave group DOS at its core. The Vow wraps with its ninth episode Sunday (Oct. 18) on HBO (though it has a greenlight for a second season), and Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult debuts the same night on Starz with the first of four episodes.

Producers of both projects consulted Lalich. She attended the last two weeks of the trial where, in June 2019, cult head Keith Raniere was convicted on seven criminal counts including racketeering and sex trafficking. Members of his inner circle, including actress Allison Mack of Smallville fame and Seagram heiress Clare Bronfman, pled guilty and also face jail time.

...

Are you watching The Vow now, or did you already see it during the editing or production phase? No, I didn’t see any of it before, because they’re in New York and I’m obviously out in California—so I’ve only been watching it like everybody else.

What’s been your reaction? The two documentaries are really quite different and complement each other. What’s most amazing to me in the The Vow is the amount of real-time footage that they have of things inside the group: of Keith Raniere speaking, of people being inside various workshops. So you’re kind of following the stories of [whistleblower couples] Mark [Vicente] and Bonnie [Piesse] and Sarah [Edmondson] and Nippy [Ames]; also you really see the manipulative dynamic that goes on because they have so much original footage. …

The one coming out this week focuses more on Catherine trying to get her daughter out, everything she did, and India actually coming out of the group and talking about her experience. It’s really quite moving.

They’re very different in their technique and their approaches, and they’re both very powerful. I think it’s so great that these documentaries are coming out now to help educate the public about these groups.

What do you hope people take away from watching these documentaries? Several things. I’m hoping that, for one, viewers will begin to have a better understanding of who joins these groups. I think there’s always been a feeling that Oh, it’s just “stupid people,” “crazy people” or “weak people” who get into these groups. You can see from these documentaries—and many of the others that have come out recently—that’s not who cults recruit. Cults recruit smart people, A-type personalities; they want people who can run their businesses and keep the thing going and recruit and bring in celebrities and bring legitimacy to the group. I hope the public will see these are decent, good people who join these groups, and if there’s any common denominator, it’s idealism: people who want to create a better world or do something better for their families. That’s what cults prey on.

Then, I also hope people will see how easy it is to get manipulated, to have this kind of gaslighting happen, where in many ways you’re very subtly coerced into joining and doing things you wouldn’t normally do. Membership in these groups tends to change your moral compass and your value structure—that takes determination on the part of the cult, and it takes indoctrination. I’m hoping these two documentaries will help the public understand how easily that happens and how deeply it harms people, how deeply it affects victims of that kind of cult regime.

We hear about gaslighting with how the public is being manipulated by politicians, and terms like Trump Derangement Syndrome and the Trump Cult. Are there parallels you see to your work? At least from my point of view, Trump has really done an excellent job of turning people away from reality. And he’s created his own version of reality. This whole focus on not believing in science, resisting that there’s any kind of climate change, insisting that “oh, the coronavirus really isn’t all that bad”—all these things over the last four years have appealed to certain people who have then become this frenzied 40 percent as they’ve become referred to, “the 40 percent,” who will, as we’ve seen, even put their lives at risk to attend these Trump rallies.

For me, what I feel I’m witnessing is the same close-mindedness that I see when I study cults: that the members are kind of shut into this bubble world and they’re very hard to speak to rationally and they don’t want to entertain any ideas that conflict with what they believe in. I think we’re seeing that a lot right now. And also with the QAnon movement that’s become so popular, we’re seeing families that have been completely disrupted by people who have become so closed in their thinking.

The dangers I see, especially with QAnon and even some of the things Trump has said, is violence that can so easily erupt among that population. To me, that’s what’s troubling. Most cults are insular and do harm among their members, but most cults don’t act outward. Surely some cults have, like Charlie Manson, over the years, but most cults don’t do that. What’s different now with QAnon and some of the white supremacist groups and some of that extremism is the acting out: walking around with guns, threatening to kidnap governors. That has been given license by some of the rhetoric from the administration.

Is there any antidote? We can never give up hope. There certainly is no magic bullet; with every individual and family situation, it’s going to be different. But I think some of the actions that are happening now with Facebook and Twitter, some of these social media outlets that are shutting down some of the disinformation that QAnon has been putting out, hopefully dampens some of the enthusiasm and it won’t be available to so many people to latch onto.

It’s difficult, because our country is in a very unsettling time right now. People don’t know what’s going on. Sometimes it feels like everything’s coming apart, right? Sometimes I even feel that way! When societies are in that unsettling kind of environment, that’s when cults can recruit; that’s when people tend to grasp at things that offer them some framework, offer them some answers, provide them some calm, some way to understand what’s going on. Until we can settle out the environment in America, we’re going to see a lot of this happening. Perhaps with a change in administration, we can begin to settle some of these crisis areas.

extracted from:

https://chico.newsreview.com/2020/10/16/one-nation-under-influence/

______________________________________________

The forgotten figure who explains how Trump got almost 74 million votes

Why do so many evangelicals continue to deny that Biden won the election?

[theculturedmarxist]

ROBERT SCHEER: Hi, this is Robert Scheer with another edition of “Scheer Intelligence,” where the intelligence comes from my guests. In this case Max Blumenthal, who I must say is one of the gutsiest journalists we have in the United States, and have had for the last five years or so. He’s, in addition to having considerable courage and [going] out on these third-rail issues — like Israel, being one of the more prominent ones — and challenging some of the major conceits of even liberal politics in the United States about our virtue, our constant virtue, he’s done just great journalism. I really loved his book, “Goliath: Life and Loathing in Greater Israel,” which came out in 2013, because it was based on just good, solid journalism of interviewing people and trying to figure out what’s going on.

I’d done something a half century earlier, or not quite that long ago, during the Six-Day War in Israel, where I went over when I was the editor of Ramparts. And I know how difficult it is to deal with that issue, because I put Ramparts into bankruptcy over the controversy about it. [Laughter] So maybe that’s a good place to begin. You know, you dared touch this issue of Israel, and it didn’t help that you are Jewish. I guess you are Jewish, right? Do you have a background, did you practice any aspect of Judaism? Literature, culture, religion?

MAX BLUMENTHAL: I’m a Jew who had a bar mitzvah, and I even had a bris.

RS: Oh. [Laughs]

MB: And you know, I’ve continued to pop in in synagogues here and there on High Holy Days. I guess you could say, you know, when the rabbi asked, you know, asked me to join the army of God, I tell him I’m in the Secret Service. But I’m definitely Jewish, you know, and it’s a big part of who I am and why I do what I do.

RS: Well, and I thought your writing on that, and your journalism, was informed by that. Because after all, a very important part of the whole experience of Jewish people as victims, as people forced into refugee status, living in the diaspora, was to develop a sense of universal values, and of decency and obligation to the other. And I think your reporting reflected that. However, my goodness, you got a lot of heat over it. And it’s the heat I want to talk about. I want to talk about the difficulty, in this post-Cold War world, of actually writing about the U.S. imperial presence, or writing critically about what our government does, and some of its allies.

And I think Israel is a really good case in point, because we have one narrative that said in the last election we had foreign interference, mostly coming from Russia. And we talk about Russia as if it’s the old communist Soviet Union, with a top-down, big, organized party — forgetting that [Vladimir] Putin actually defeated the Communist Party, and even though he had been in the KGB, and most Russians had been in some kind of official connection with society or another. Nonetheless, Russia really has gotten very little out of whatever interference it did. Israel, that is very rarely talked about, interfered in the election in a very open, blatant way in the presence of Netanyahu, who denounced Barack Obama’s major foreign policy achievement, the deal with Iran, and has focused U.S. policy mostly against the enemy being Iran, and ignoring Saudi Arabia and everything else.

And the interesting thing is that Israel’s interference in the election, and Netanyahu, has been rewarded over and over — the embassy got shifted, the settlers got more validation, now there’s a big peace plan that gives the hawks in Israel everything they want. So why don’t we begin with that, and your own writing about U.S.-Israel relations. It’s kind of odd that there’s — or maybe not odd, maybe it’s just because it is the third rail — that there’s been so little discussion about Donald Trump’s relation to Israel and his payoff to Netanyahu.

MB: Yeah, I mean, there’s a lot to chew on there. I would first start with just an observation, because you mentioned that we’re in a post-Cold War world — well, we’re not in a post-Cold War world anymore, we’re in a new Cold War. And for all the attacks I got over Israel, which were absolutely vicious, personalized, you know, framed through emotional blackmail, attacking my identity as a Jew, calling me a Jewish anti-Semite — the Simon Wiesenthal Center, which is this right-wing racket over there in L.A., made me the No. 4 anti-Semite of 2015. You know, I was right behind Ayatollah Khomeini. But you know, the worst attacks, the most vicious attacks I’ve received have actually been from centrists and liberal elements over my criticism of the Russiagate narrative that they foisted on the American public starting in 2016, and also on the dirty war that the U.S. has been waging on Syria, and how we at the site that I edit, the Grayzone, started unpacking a lot of the deceptions and lies that were used to try to stimulate support among middle-class liberals in the west for this proxy war on Syria, for regime change in Syria. This was absolutely forbidden, and that attack actually turned out to be more vicious and is ongoing.

With Israel, you have a situation where you have, not maybe a plurality, but maybe a majority of secular Jewish Americans, progressive Jews, who have completely turned their back on the whole Zionist project. And it has a lot to do with Netanyahu. Netanyahu is someone who came out of the American — out of American life. He went to high school in suburban Philadelphia, he went to MIT, he was at Boston Consulting with Mitt Romney. His father ended his life in upstate New York as Jabotinsky’s press secretary, the press secretary for the revisionist wing of the Zionist movement that inspired the Likud party. So Netanyahu is really kind of an American figure, number one; number two, he’s a Republican figure. He’s like a card-carrying neoconservative Republican.

So a lot of Jews who’ve historically aligned themselves with the Democratic Party, who see being a Democrat as almost synonymous with being Jewish in American life, just absolutely revile Netanyahu. And here he is, basically the longest-serving prime minister in Israel; he’s completely redefined the face of Israel and what it is. And he’s provoked — I wouldn’t say provoked, but he’s accelerated the civil war in American Jewish life over Zionism. And what I did was come in at a time when it wasn’t entirely popular, to not just challenge Israel as a kind of occupying entity, but to actually challenge it at its core, to challenge the entire philosophy of Zionism, and to analyze the Israeli occupation as the byproduct of a system of apartheid which has been in place from the beginning, since 1948, which was a product of a settler colonial movement.

That really upset a lot of people who kind of reflect the same elements that I’m getting, who are attacking me on Syria or Russia. People like Eric Alterman at The Nation. He wrote 11 very personal attack pieces on me when my book “Goliath” came out in 2013. Truthdig, you, Chris Hedges, it was a great source of support. And you, you know, you opened up the debate at Truthdig, you allowed people to come in and criticize the book, but kind of in a principled, constructive way. Whereas Eric Alterman was demanding that The Nation censor me, blacklist me, ban me for life, and was comparing me to a neo-Nazi by the end, and claiming I was secretly in league with David Duke. And that was because he had simply no response to my reporting and my analysis of the kind of, the inner contradictions of Zionism.

And so to me, it was really a sign of the success of the book, that someone like Alterman was sort of dispatched, or took it upon himself to wage this really self-destructive attack. And in the end, he really had nothing to show for himself; he wasn’t arguing on the merits. And that’s just what I find time and again with my reporting is, you know, you get these personal attacks and people try to dissuade you from going and touching these third-rail issues, but ultimately there’s no substance to the attacks. I mean, if they really wanted to nail me and take me down, they would address the facts, and they really haven’t been able to do that.

RS: Right. But Max, if I can, let’s focus on the power of your analysis in that book, which is that it is a settler colonialism. And Netanyahu actually is — we can talk about the old labor Zionists, you know, and what was meant by progressive Zionism and so forth. Even at the time of the Six-Day War when I interviewed people like Moshe Dayan and Ya’alon and these people, they all were against a full occupation of the West Bank. They didn’t act on that, unfortunately. But they were aware of the dangers of a colonial model. But right now you have a figure in Israel in Netanyahu, who is, very clearly embodies a racialized view, a jingoistic view of the other, which is really, you know, very troubling. And he’s embraced by this troubling American figure.

And so what your book really predicted is that the settler colonialism was a rot at the center of the Israeli enterprise — and historically, one could justify that enterprise. I don’t know if you would agree. But even the old Soviet Union, I think, was the second, if not the first country to recognize Israel. There was vast worldwide support for some sort of refuge for the Jewish people after such horrible, you know, genocidal policies visited upon them. But what we’re really talking about now is something very different. And that is whether political leadership, and interference and so forth comes mainly for Democrats, very often; obviously, for republicans and Bible-belters and all that, who seem to like this image of the end of time coming in Israel. But really what’s happening — and it’s not discussed in this election, except to attack Bernie Sanders, who dared make some criticisms of Israel in some of these debates — you have a very weird notion of the Jewish experience, as identified with a very hardline, as you say, sort of South African settler colonialist mentality.

And so I want to ask you the question as someone–and we’ll get to it later — you grew up sort of within the Democratic liberal establishment in Washington. Your parents both worked for the Clinton administration, were close to it. How do you explain this blind eye toward Trump’s relationship to Netanyahu? And ironically, for all the Russia-bashing, Netanyahu and Putin seem to get along splendidly, you know. And that doesn’t bother people as far as criticizing Netanyahu. So why don’t we visit that a little bit, and forget about Eric Alterman for a while.

MB: [Laughs] Well, he’s already forgotten, so we don’t have much work to do there. But there’s a lot, again, a lot to chew on, a lot of questions packed into that. You know, just starting with your mention of Moshe Dayan — who is a seminal figure in the Nakba, the initial ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian population in 1948 to establish Israel — he was the southern commander of the Israeli military. And he later kind of became a kind of schizophrenic figure in Israeli politics; he would sometimes offer some kind of left-wing opinions, and then be extremely militaristic. But you know, when it came down to it, Moshe Dayan — like every other member of the Israeli Labor Party — was absolutely opposed to a viable Palestinian state. He even said that we cannot have a Palestinian state because it will connect psychologically, in the minds of the Palestinian public who are citizens of Israel — that 20% of Israel who are indigenous Palestinians — it will connect them to Nablus in the West Bank, and it will provide them with a basis for rebelling against the Israeli state to expand the Palestinian state.

The other labor leaders spoke in terms of the kind of, with the racist language of the demographic time bomb that, you know, we need to give Palestinians a state, otherwise we will be overwhelmed demographically. And so the state that they were proposed was what Yitzhak Rabin, in his final address before the Israeli Knesset, the Israeli parliament, called “less than a state.” He promised Israel that at Oslo, he would deliver the Palestinians less than a state. And if you look at the actual plan that the Palestinians were handed at Oslo — which Yasser Arafat, the Palestinian Authority chairman, didn’t even review before signing — the map was not that different from the map that Donald Trump has offered with the “ultimate deal.” And they’d say, oh, you get 97% of what was, you know, offered in U.N. Resolution 242 in 1967. But it really just isn’t the case when you get down to the details. What the strategy has been with the Labor Party, and with successive Israeli administrations — and with Netanyahu until he got Trump in — was to kind of kick the can down the road with the so-called peace process, so that Israel could keep putting more facts on the ground.

So it was actually Ehud Barak of the Labor Party, Yitzhak Rabin’s successor, who moved more settlers into the West Bank, by a landslide, than Netanyahu did. Ehud Barak actually campaigned on his connection to the settlers. And then Netanyahu capitalizes on the strength of the settlement movement to build this kind of Titanic rock of a right-wing coalition that’s kept him in power for so long. And if you look at who the leading figures are in Israeli life — Naftali Bennett, who was from the Jewish Home Party, he comes out of the Likud party and he’s someone who was an assistant to Netanyahu. Avigdor Lieberman, who was for a long time the leader of the Russian Party. Yisrael Beiteinu, this is someone who came out of the Likud Party, who helped Netanyahu rustle up Russian votes. It’s a Likud one-party state — but then you have, culturally, a dynamic where starting with 1967, the public just becomes more infused with religious Messianism.

The West Bank is the site of the real, emotionally potent Jewish historical sites, particularly in a city like Hebron. And the public becomes attached to it and attains its dynamism through this expansionist project, and the public changes. A lot of people from the kind of liberal labor wing became religious Messianists, started wearing kippot, wearing yarmulkes, the kind of cloth yarmulkes that the modern orthodox settlers where.

RS: OK, but —

MB: Today you not only have that, you have a new movement called the temple movement, which aims to actually replace Jewish prayer at the Western Wall with animal sacrifice, as Jews supposedly practiced thousands of years ago, and to destroy the Al-Aqsa mosque, and practice Jewish prayer there. This is not just a messianic movement, but an apocalyptic movement that is actually gaining strength in the Likud party. So when you mentioned Donald Trump’s “ultimate deal,” there’s one detail that everyone seems to have missed there, which is prayer for all at the Dome of the Rock, at Al-Aqsa. That means there will be Jewish prayer there, officially, that Palestinians must be forced to accept that and destroy the status quo, which has prevailed since 1967.

RS: I know, but Max, before I lose this whole interview here — because I think that’s all really interesting; people should read your book, “Goliath: Life and Loathing in Greater Israel.” That’s not the focus of this discussion I want to have with you.

MB: OK.

RS: And I want to discuss, in this aspect, the whole idea of Israel as a third-rail issue for American politics.

MB: Yeah.

RS: American politics. And the reason I want to do that is there’s obviously a contradiction in the Jewish experience, because Jews — as much or more so than any other group of people in the world — understand what settler colonialism does. They understand what oppression does, they’ve been under the thumb of oppressors. And so I would argue the major part of the Jewish experience was one of revolt against oppression, and recognition of the danger of unbridled power. And that represents a very important force in liberal politics in the United States: a fear of coercive power, a desire for tolerance, and so forth. And we know that Jews have, in the United States and elsewhere in the world, been a source of concern for the other, and tolerance, and criticism of power.

And the reason I’m bringing that up is it seems to me it’s a real contradiction for the Democratic Party, which you know quite a bit about. And in this Democratic Party, there’s this great loathsome feeling about Donald Trump. And many of these people don’t really like Netanyahu. You know, the polling data shows that Jews are, you know, just about as open to the concern for the Palestinians as any other group. And Bernie Sanders, the one Jewish candidate, is the one who dared to bring up the Palestinians — that they have rights also, that they’re human beings. He’s being attacked for it as, like you, a self-hating Jew. And so I want to get at that contradiction. And, you know, full confession, as a Jewish person I believe it’s an honorable tradition of dissent, and concern for the others, and respect for individual freedom. And I think it’s sullied by the identification of the Jewish experience with a colonialist experience. It is a reality that we have to deal with, but that’s not the whole tradition. And I daresay your own family, whatever your contradiction — and I should mention here your father and mother both were quite active in the Clinton administration, right.

And your father, a well-known journalist, Sidney Blumenthal, and your mother, Jacqueline Blumenthal, was I think a White House fellow or something in the Clinton administration? I forget what her job was, but has been active. And they certainly come out of a more liberal Jewish experience, as do most well-known Jewish writers and journalists in the United States. That’s the contradiction that I don’t see being dealt with here. Because after all, it’s easy to blast Putin and his interference, but as I say, Netanyahu interfered very openly, but in a really unseemly way, in the American election by attacking a sitting American president in an appearance before the Congress, and attacking his major foreign-policy initiative. And there’s hardly a word ever said about it. It doesn’t come up in the democratic debates. You know, and the — as I say, there was this incredible moment where Netanyahu, after coming over here and praising Trump for his peace deal, as did his opponent, then he goes off and meets with Putin. And so suddenly it’s OK, and yet the Democrats who want to blast Putin don’t mention Netanyahu, and they don’t mention his relation to Trump.

MB: Well, yeah, I was trying to illustrate kind of the reality of Israel, which just, it’s gotten so extreme that it repels people who even come out of the kind of Democratic Party mainstream. And the Democratic Party was the original bastion in the U.S. for supporting Israel. So my father actually held a book party for my book, “Goliath,” back in 2013. It’s the kind of thing that, you know, a parent who had been a journalist would do for a son or daughter who’s a journalist. And he was harshly attacked when word got out that he had held that party in a neoconservative publication called the Free Beacon, which is kind of part of Netanyahu’s PR operation in D.C. You know, it was like my father had supported, provided material support for terrorism by having a book party for his son.

But the interesting part about that party was who showed up. I didn’t actually know what it was going to be like, and it was absolutely packed. I mean, they live in a pretty small townhouse in D.C, and there just was nowhere to walk, there was nowhere to move. And I found myself in the corner of their dining room shouting through the house to kind of explain what my book was about and answer questions. And a lot of the people there were people who were in or around Hillary’s State Department, people who worked for kind of Democratic Party-linked organizations — just a lot of mainstream Democrat people. And they were giving me a wink and a nod, shaking my hand, giving me a pat on the back, and saying thank you, thank God you did this. Because they cannot stand the Israel lobby, they despise Netanyahu, and they’re disgusted with what Israel’s become.

And we had reached a point by 2013 where it was pretty obvious there was not going to be a two-state solution, and that whole project, the liberal Zionist project, wasn’t going to work out. You know, and the fact that they just could give me a wink and a nod shows also how cowardly a lot of people are in Washington. They weren’t even stepping up to the level my father had, where when his emails with Hillary Clinton were exposed, it became clear that he was sending her my work. And he was actually trying to move people within the State Department toward a more, maybe you could say a more humanistic view, but also a more realistic view of Israel, Palestine and the Netanyahu operation in Washington. Working through [Sheldon] Adelson, using this fraud hack of a rabbi, Shmuley Boteach, has kind of their front man. They ran like a full-page ad in the New York Times painting me and my father as Hillary Clinton’s secret Middle East advisers.

And then one day in the middle of the campaign, Elie Wiesel died. You know, someone who is supposed to be this patron saint of Judaism and the kind of secular theology of Auschwitz, who had spent the last years of his life as part of Sheldon Adelson’s political network. Basically, he had lost all his money to Bernie Madoff, and so he was getting paid off by Adelson. He got half a million dollars from this Christian Zionist, apocalyptic, rapture-ready fanatic, Pastor John Hagee. He was going around with Ted Cruz giving talks. And so when he died, I went on Twitter and tweeted a few photos of Elie Wiesel with these extremist characters.

And I said, you know, here are photos of Elie Wiesel palling around with fascists. And the kind of Netanyahu-Adelson network activated to attack me. And ultimately it led — I actually, within a matter of a few days, it led to Hillary Clinton’s campaign officially denouncing me and demanding that I cease and desist. And so, you know, I looked at the debate on Twitter, and a lot of people were actually supporting me. And it was clear Elie Wiesel, this person who was supposed to be a saint, was actually no longer seen as stainless, that the whole debate had been opened up by 2016.

And now when we look at the Democratic Party and we look at the Democratic field, you know, Bernie Sanders — he’s better than most of the other candidates, or the other candidates, on this issue. After we put a lot of pressure on him in the left wing-grassroots — I mean, I personally protested him at a 2016 event for his position on Palestinians, and we shamed him until he took at least a slightly better position, where you acknowledge the humanity of Palestinians. But what we’re hearing, even from Bernie Sanders, doesn’t even reflect where the grassroots of the Democratic Party — particularly all those young people who are coming out and delivering him a landslide victory tonight in Iowa — are. The Democratic Party is not democratic on Israel, but it’s no longer a third-rail issue. You can talk about it, and the only way that you can be stopped is through legislation, like the legislation we see in statehouses to actually outlaw people who support the Palestinian boycott of Israel. So we’re just in an amazing time where all of the contradictions are completely out in the open.

RS: OK, let me just take a quick break so public radio stations like KCRW that make this available can stick in some advertisements for themselves, which is a good cause. And we’ll be right back with Max Blumenthal. Back with Max Blumenthal, who has written — I mean, I only mentioned one of his books. He wrote a very important book on the right wing in America that was a bestseller; he has been honored in many ways, and yet is a source of great controversy. And I must say, I respect your ability to create this controversy, because it’s controversy about issues people don’t want to deal with. You know, they want to deal with them in sort of feel-good slogans, and it doesn’t work, because people get hurt. And including Jewish people, in the case of Israel. If you develop a settler, colonialist society, and that stands for the Jewish position, and you’re oppressing large numbers of people, be they Palestinian or others, that’s hardly an advertisement for what has been really great about the Jewish experience, which I will argue until my death.

It was represented by people like my mother, who were in the Jewish socialist bund, and two of her sisters were killed by the Czar’s police in Russia. And they believed in Universalist values, an idea of being Jewish as standing for the values of the oppressed, and concern for the oppressed. And most of their experience in the shtetls, and out there in the diaspora, had been being oppressed.

And so I don’t want to lose that there. But I wanted to get now to the last part of this, to what I think is the hypocrisy of the liberal wing of American politics, or so-called. And now they call themselves more progressive. And it really kind of centers around Hillary Clinton. And whatever you want to say about Bernie Sanders — you know, Hillary Clinton’s recent attack on Bernie Sanders, that no one likes him and he stands for nothing and he gets nothing done. And I think this is a, you know, a person that I thought, you know, at one point — despite her starting out as a Goldwater girl and being quite conservative — I thought was, you know, somewhat decent.

And I’m going to make this personal now. I was brought to a more favorable view of Bill and Hillary Clinton, in considerable measure, by your father, as a journalist at the Washington Post, and then working in the administration. And I respect your father and mother, you know, and Sidney Blumenthal and Jacqueline Blumenthal, I think are intelligent people. And I once, you know, went through a White House dinner; I think I only got in because your father put me on the list, and Hillary Clinton said I was her favorite columnist in America — no, the whole world — and it was very flattering. But I look back on it now — Hillary Clinton has really represented a kind of loathsome, interventionist, aggressive, America-first politics that in some ways is even more offensive than Trump. When Trump said he’s going to make America great again, Hillary Clinton said, America’s always been great. What?

MB: Yeah.

RS: What? Slavery, segregation, killing the Native Americans — always been great? You grew up with these people, right? You were in that world. What — so yes, they can come up to you at a book party and say, yes, it’s about time somebody said that. But what are they really about? That they — you know, you mentioned Syria. You know, their great achievement, they created a mess of that society. And she’s the one who went to, said about Libya, oh, we came, we saw, and he’s dead. You know, sodomized to death. So take me into the heart of the so-called liberal experience.

MB: Well, first of all, since you invoke Sidney Blumenthal so frequently, he has a — I think his fourth book in a five-part series on Abraham Lincoln out. And you know, these books address Lincoln almost as if he were a contemporary politician. It’s a completely new contribution to the history of Lincoln, and if you invite him on, be sure —

RS: I’m familiar with it, and I’ll endorse it —

MB: If you invite him on, you can ask him, I would love to hear that debate —

RS: I certainly would, and I have — as I said, I have a lot of respect for your father and mother. I’m asking a different question. Why do good people look the other way? Or how does it work? Just, you know, to the degree you can, take me inside that Washington culture. And where there’s a certain arrogance in it, that they are always, even when they do the wrong things, they’re just always accidents. They’re always mistakes. You know, it never comes out of their ideology, their aggression. So I want to know more about that.

MB: I mean, I saw all these — so many different sides of Washington. And so — and I was always supported by my parents, no matter what view I took. So I don’t feel like I have to live in my father’s shadow or something like that. They remain really supportive of me. I have a new book out — it’s not really new, it came out last April. It’s called “The Management of Savagery,” and it deals substantially with my view of the bipartisan foreign policy establishment, but particularly the Hillary State Department, the Obama foreign policy team, and the destruction they wrought in Libya and Syria. So, you know, I put everything I knew about Washington and foreign policy into that book. And so I really would recommend that as well.

But, you know, how does it work with the Clintons? They were — they set up a machine that was really a juggernaut with all this corporate money they brought in through the DLC, the Democratic Leadership Committee. It was a very different structure than we’d seen with previous Democratic candidates who built — who relied heavily on unions and, you know, the civil rights coalition. And that machine never went away. It kept growing like this — kind of like this amoeba that began to engulf the party and politics itself. So that when Bill Clinton was out of power, the machine was passed to Hillary Clinton, and the machine followed her into the Senate. And the machine grew into the Clinton Global Initiative, which was this giant influence-peddling scam that just cashed in on disasters in Haiti, brought in tons of money, tens of millions of dollars from Gulf monarchies, and big oil and the arms industry — everything that funds all the repulsive think tanks on K Street through the Clinton Foundation.

And everyone who was trying to get close to the Clinton Foundation, whether they were in Clinton’s inner circle or not, was just trying to gather influence. That’s why you saw at Chelsea Clinton’s wedding, behind her, Ghislaine Maxwell, who was basically Jeffrey Epstein’s personal child sex trafficker, just trying to cultivate influence with people who have this gigantic political machine.

So that’s why so many people, I think, have stayed loyal to this odious project, and have looked the other way as entire countries were destroyed under the direct watch of Hillary Clinton. Libya today — where Hillary Clinton took personal credit for destroying this country, which was at the time before its destruction, I think the wealthiest African nation with the highest quality of life — is now in, still in civil war. We’ve seen footage of open-air slave auctions taking place, and large parts of the country for years were occupied by affiliates of Al Qaeda or ISIS, including Muammar Gaddafi’s hometown of Sirte. It was immediately transformed into a haven for the Islamic State.

This is the legacy of Hillary Clinton. There would have been no Benghazi scandal if she hadn’t gone into Libya to come, see, and kill, as she bragged that she did. And in Syria, she attempted the same thing; fortunately failed, thanks to assistance from Iran and Russia. But this was, it consisted of a billion dollars, multibillion-dollar operation to arm and equip some of the most dangerous, psychotic fanatics on the face of the planet in Al Qaeda and 31 flavors of Salafi jihadi. Hillary Clinton said we can’t be negotiating with the Syrian government; the hard men with guns will solve this problem. She said that in an interview, and that’s her legacy.

Beyond that, you know, I in Washington grew up in a very complex situation. I don’t know what view people have of me, but I grew up in what was – D.C. when D.C. was known as C.C., or Chocolate City. It was a mostly black city, run by a local black power structure with a strong black middle class, and I grew up in a black neighborhood. And I kind of saw apartheid firsthand, where I saw how a small white minority actually controlled the city from behind the scenes. And then, you know, and I saw that reality, and then I went to school across town in the one white ward to a private school, and I got to know some of the children of the kind of mostly Democratic Party elite. And so I saw both sides of the city. And it was through that other side, and also my parents’ connection to the Clintons, that I — I mean, I barely interacted with the Clintons. I’ve had very minimal interaction with them ever.

But I did get to meet Chelsea Clinton once. And you know, for all my reservations about the Clintons or what they were, I thought you know, she was kind of an admirable figure at that time. She was a — she was a kid, she was an adolescent who was being mocked on “Saturday Night Live” because she was going through an awkward phase. She went to school down the street at Sidwell Friends, and I met her at a White House Christmas party; she was really friendly and personable. And you know, since then, I’ve watched her grow into adulthood and become a complete kind of replication of the monstrous political apparatus that her family has set up, without really charting her own path. She just basically inherited the reign of the Clinton Foundation and Clinton Global Initiative. She does paid talks for Israel. Her husband Marc Mezvinsky, he gambled on Greece’s debt along with Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO of Goldman Sachs. You know, the squid fish. I mean, there’s just — I mean, as a young person, seeing someone of my generation grow up and follow that path, do nothing to carve out her own space — it just absolutely disgusts me.

And now Hillary Clinton is still there! She won’t go away! She’s not only helped fuel this Russiagate hysteria that’s plunged us into a new Cold War, but she’s trying to destroy the hopes and dreams of millions of young people who are saddled with endless debt by destroying Bernie Sanders. And it’s because she sees her own legacy being smashed to pieces, not by any right-wing, vast conspiracy, but by the electorate, the new electorate of the Democratic Party. And I absolutely welcome that. I think, you know, tonight in Iowa, a landslide Bernie victory, one of the takeaways is this will be the end of Clintonism. It’s time to move on and hand things over to a new generation. They had their chance, and they not only failed, they caused disasters across the world.

RS: So this is — we’re going to wind this up, but I think we’ve hit a really important subject. And I want to take a little bit more time on it. And I thought you expressed it quite powerfully. But the error, if you’ll permit me, is to center it on the personality, or the family. And I don’t think Clintonism is going to go away. Because what it represents — and I know you —

MB: It could be become Bloombergism, you know?

RS: Well, that’s where I’m going. I think what Clintonism represents is this triangulation, this new Democrat. And I interviewed him when he was governor, just when he was campaigning. And I did a lot of writing on the Financial Services Modernization Act and on welfare reform, and all of these ingredients of this policy. And what it really represents — no wonder they’re rewarded by the super wealthy. But the Democratic Party lost its organizational base with the destruction of the labor movement and weakening of other sources of progressive class-based politics, concern about working people and ordinary people.

And what Clinton did is he came along, and he had a sort of variation of Nixon’s Southern Strategy, how he got the Republicans to be so important in the South. And it was this new politics, this redefinition. And it’s not going away, because it’s the cover for Wall Street. It’s the cover for exploitation. And the main thing that happened from when you were young — or born, actually; you’re 42 years — it’s 42 years of, since Clinton really, and you can blame Reagan, you can blame the first President Bush, you can blame other people, and certainly blame the whole bloody Republican Party. I’m not going to give them a pass.

But the fact is, what the Clinton revolution did was it made class warfare for the rich fashionable, in a way that no one else was able to do it, no other movement. And it said these thieves on Wall Street, these people who are going to rip you off 20 different ways to Sunday — they’re good people, and they support good causes. And you mentioned Lloyd Blankfein, you know; “government” Goldman Sachs, you know. Robert Rubin came from Goldman Sachs; he was Clinton’s treasury secretary. And the whole thing of unleashing Wall Street and getting, destroying the New Deal — that was a serious program to basically betray the average American and betray their interest. And that’s why we’ve had this growing income inequality since that time. That’s the Clinton legacy in this world, really, is the billionaire coup, the billionaire culture.

MB: Yep, the oligarchy was put on fast-forward by the new politics of the Clintons. What they promised wasn’t, you know, a break from Reaganism, although there was certainly a cultural difference. They promised continuity, and that’s what we saw through the Obama administration. Obama presided over the biggest decline in black home ownership in the United States since, I think, prior to World War II. You mentioned Glass-Steagall; this set the stage for the financial crisis; NAFTA, destroyed the unions, shipped American jobs first to Mexico and then to China, and destabilized northern Mexico along with the drug war that Clinton put on overdrive, creating the immigration crisis that helped fuel the rise of Donald Trump.

Welfare reform — all of these policies were just, were odious to me and so many people at the time, but there was just this desire to just beat the Republicans and out-triangulate them. Now that we’ve seen the effects on them and so many people have felt the effects, you have an entire generation that sees no future, that realizes they’re living in an oligarchy, realizes that the alternative to Bernie Sanders is a literal oligarch, this miniature Scrooge McDuck in Mike Bloomberg, and they’re just not having it.

I don’t know if Hillary Clinton understands this history; I don’t think she sees it in context. She just blames Russian boogeyman and fake news for everything. But the rest of us who’ve lived through it really do, and it’s the continuity that is so dangerous, especially on foreign policy. I mean, the Libya proxy war and the Syria proxy war, the stage was set in Yugoslavia with NATO’s war that destroyed a socialist country and unleashed hell on a large part of its population. And we still don’t debate that war. The stage for the Iraq invasion was set in 1998 with Bill Clinton passing the Iraqi Liberation Act, which sent $90 million into the pocket of the con-man Ahmed Chalabi and made regime change the official policy of the United States.

It’s tragic that Bernie Sanders voted for that. But we have to see the cause and the effect to understand why so many people are in open revolt against that legacy. And you’re right, it goes well beyond the Clintons. It’s a program that markets right-wing economics and a right-wing foreign policy in a sort of progressive bottle. Now what they’re trying to do with the label on that progressive bottle, the way they’re trying to preserve it — we see it a lot through the [Elizabeth] Warren campaign — is through a kind of neoliberal identity politics that divorces class from race and gender, and attempts to basically distract people with needless arguments about Bernie Sanders saying a woman couldn’t have gotten elected in a private conversation that only Elizabeth Warren was party to.

So I’m really encouraged, I guess, by the results that we’re seeing. We’re talking tonight on the eve of the Iowa caucus. I’m encouraged by those results, just because I see them as a repudiation of the politics that have just dominated my life as a 42-year-old, and just been so absolutely cynical and destructive at their core. But I would just remind anyone who is supporting Bernie Sanders and listening to this — he’s not just running for president. He’s running for the next target of a deep state coup, and the deep state exists, and will respond with more force and viciousness than it did to Donald Trump, who actually has much more in common with them than Bernie Sanders.

RS: I didn’t quite get the grammar of that last paragraph, not any fault of yours. You said he’s not just running — can you —

MB: He’s running for the next target of a deep state coup, the forces of Wall Street. You know, the —

RS: Oh, you mean he will be the target.

MB: He will be the target.

RS: Yeah, you know, it’s — you just said something really — OK, I know we have to wrap this up, but it’s actually just getting interesting for me. [Laughs]

MB: Sorry about that.

RS: No, no, no, come on, come on. [Laughter] What I mean is, I do these things because I learn, and I think, and you know, my selfish interests. And really the question right now, I did a wonderful interview with Chomsky on this podcast, and he took me to school for not appreciating the importance of the lesser evil. And I’ve lost sleep over it since. You know, well — and we always fall for that, you know. On the other hand, some of the things you’ve been talking about, you know — and this is going to get me in big trouble — but you know, Trump is so blatant. He’s so out there in favor of greed and corruption.

He’s so obnoxious. And actually, in terms of his policy impact — not his rhetoric, but his policy impact — is he really that much worse? Well, for instance, you mentioned NAFTA. The rewrite of NAFTA, even before, you know, some progressives got involved in it, it was a substantially better trade agreement than the first NAFTA. You know, he hasn’t gotten us into Syria-type, Iraq-type wars.

He actually — so I’m not — you know, yes, I consider him a neofascist; rhetoric can be very dangerous. He’s obviously spread very evil, poisonous ideas about immigrants and what have you, you know, I can go down the list. But the people that you’ve been talking about, that–you know, and I voted for all of them, and I’ve supported them — are they really the lesser evil? You know, or are they a more effective form of evil?

MB: I mean, to understand Trump, we just have to see him as the apotheosis of an oligarchy. In its most unsheathed, unvarnished form, he’s just lifted the mask off the corruption, the legal corruption that’s prevailed, and been completely unabashed about it. Donald Trump was targeted with this kind of Russiagate campaign, which was partly run by Clintonite dead-enders who wanted to blame Russia for her loss, and to attack Donald Trump with this kind of McCarthyite rhetoric. But it was also being influenced by the intelligence services — figures like John Brennan and James Comey, and neoconservative hardliners who could easily jump back into the Democratic Party. And they were just seeking a new Cold War, to justify the budgets of the intelligence services, and the defense budget and so on.

But at his core, Donald Trump, what he’s actually done, especially domestically, I think outside of the immigration stuff, is he’s been kind of a traditional Republican. And he won a lot of consent from Republicans in Congress when he passed a trillion-dollar tax cut. He’s given corporate America everything he wanted after kind of campaigning with this populist, Bannonite tone. So in a lot of ways, Donald Trump does share more in common with the Democratic Party elite — with a lot of the figures who’ve been nominated to serve on the DNC platform committee, who are just from the Beltway blob and the Beltway bandits — than they do with Bernie Sanders.

And I think that if Bernie Sanders gets the nomination, there will be an effort to McGovern him. To just kind of turn him — turn this whole process into McGovern ’72, hope that Bernie Sanders gets destroyed by Donald Trump, and then wag their fingers at the left for the next 20 years until they get another Bill Clinton. I think that they don’t know how to stop him at this point, but they’re willing to let him be the nominee and go down to Donald Trump, because Bernie Sanders threatens their interests, and the movement behind him particularly, more than Donald Trump does.

RS: You know, they will stop Bernie Sanders, and they will do it by the argument of lesser evilism. And you see the line developing —

MB: But who is the lesser evil, Bob? I mean, Joe Biden is like this doddering wreck. There is no other candidate who seems even remotely viable against Trump.

RS: No, no, no — I understand that. I’m telling you what — well, it seems to me there’s — you know, you want to talk about fake news, the, misreporting of Bernie Sanders — in fact, the misreporting of what democratic socialism is. I mean, he’s now branded in the mainstream media as some hopeless fanatic because he dared to defend democratic socialism. Democratic socialism has been the norm for the most successful economies in the world, even to a degree when we’ve been successful. That was the legacy of Roosevelt, after all, is to try to save capitalism from itself. That’s why you had some enlightened government programs, you know, right down the list, and that’s what saved Germany after the war, and that’s what France and England and so forth, that’s why they have health care systems.

But the mainstream media has actually taken a very moderate figure, Bernie Sanders, and demonized him as some kind of hopeless ideologue, right? And as you point out, Bernie Sanders is hardly a radical thinker on issues — particularly, as you mentioned, about the Mideast and so forth. What he is, is somebody who actually is honoring the best side of Franklin Delano Roosevelt: you can’t let these greed merchants control everything, you have to worry about some compensation for ordinary people. That’s what Bernie Sanders is all about. And it should be an argument that has great appeal to people of power, otherwise they’re going to come after you with the pitchforks. Instead the mainstream media, in its hysteria, you know, has taken this word “democratic socialist” and used it to vilify him.

But the point that I want — and we will end on this, but I’d like to get your reaction — that came up in my discussion with Chomsky, who I have great admiration for. But it is this lesser evilism. And I think while, yes, people in their vote can think about that, they can vote that way — I’ve done it much of my life; I’ve voted for all sorts of evil people because they were lesser. But as a journalist — and I want to end about your journalism — as a journalist, I think we have to get that idea out of our head. And it means being able to be objective about a Donald Trump when he comes up with his NAFTA rewrite, and say hey, there are some good things in it, including the fact that you have to pay $16 an hour to people in Mexico who are working on cars that are going to be sold in the United States, OK. And what the liberal community has been able to do in the mainstream media, MSNBC, is Trumpwash everything.

Which brings us back to your critique. They’ve been able to say — they’ve made warmongering liberal and fashionable. They’ve taken the — they’ve made the CIA now a wonderful institution, the FBI a wonderful institution, [John] Bolton a wonderful hero. And I want to take my hat off to your journalism, because you have — and I do recommend that people go to your website, the Grayzone. Because you have had the courage to say, wait a minute, what’s called a lesser evil can’t be given a pass. Because in fact, maybe in some ways, or in many ways, it’s a more effective evil. We know what Trump is; he stands exposed every hour of every day.

But you know, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton — and I’m not trying to pick on them, but you know, they represented this embrace of the Wall Street center — they were much more effective in redistributing income to the rich. You know, you can talk about Trump’s tax break, but the real redistribution came with letting Wall Street do its collateralized debt obligations and credit default swaps that caused the destruction of 70% of black wealth in America, 60% of brown wealth in America, according to the Federal Reserve. So really, in this election, people have to think — you know, yes, I’ll hold my nose and I’ll vote for the lesser evil. But what’s that going to get us? Does it get us a more effective evil, a better-packaged evil? Last word from you?

MB: Well, I mean, one of the things that we do at the Grayzone.com, our mission is to oppose this policy of regime change that the U.S. imposes across the world against any state that seeks some independence from the U.S. sphere of influence that wants to craft its own economic policies in a socialist way, like Venezuela, Nicaragua. We, you know, we exposed a lot of the deceptions that were trying to stimulate public support for regime change in Syria, that would have been absolutely disastrous. And in all of these situations, we don’t stand alone, but we stand among a really, really small group of alternative outlets who don’t play the lesser-evil game on regime change.

Where we say, well, this leader or that leader are horrible, and they are evil dictators, but we should also be kind of suspicious of the, you know, of the war that the U.S. might wage. Or we should be critical of these brutal economic sanctions that have killed tens of thousands of Venezuelans through excess deaths. We say — we actually look at the alternative to the current government and show that there actually isn’t the lesser evil, that the alternative is far worse. In Syria it was Al Qaeda and the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood; in Venezuela it’s Juan Guaidó’s right-wing, white collar mafia, which is a front for Exxon Mobil. Same thing in Nicaragua.

And you know, as much as I respect and I’ve learned from Noam Chomsky, he plays that lesser-evil game on regime change. He’s trashed all of the, all of these governments. He celebrated the collapse of the Soviet Union, and we saw what happened to Russia after that. So it’s important to look at lesser evilism through a historical context, and then we can apply it to the United States as well. Look at who’s been sold to us as the lesser evil that we had to support. Well, we’ve been talking about them, Bob, for the last half hour, and they’ve subjected Americans to the same evil the Republican Party has, for the most part. Maybe they’ve limited it to some degree. But now there’s actually an option for something that I’d say is moderate in the United States.

You’re right — Bernie Sanders does nothing, and proposes nothing, outside the framework of the New Deal and LBJ’s Great Society. I don’t even think he’s a democratic socialist. I don’t know what that term really means. He’s a social democrat. And he is someone who at least offers a change from the consensus where the government actually starts to intervene to prevent people from dying excess deaths across the country, from the opioid crisis, from poverty, from homelessness. Eighty percent of new homes that have been built in the U.S. in the past two years are luxury housing. And you know who else is supporting Bernie Sanders besides all these debt-saddled youth? Active duty U.S. military veterans who are sick of permanent war. $160,000 in campaign contributions have been given to Bernie by active duty vets. That’s something like eight times more than have gone to Joe Biden, who is involved at the forefront of almost every American war since Gulf War I.

And we’re really capitalizing on that at the Grayzone. We understand the American public and the western public are sick of being lied into war, and they’re sick of being pushed into lesser evilism, whether it’s abroad in countries that are targeted by the U.S., or at home. And so we’re just there providing balance and exposing whatever the lie is of the day.

RS: Let me, as an older person, end with a little editorial about what — and I agree with the thrust of what you’ve been saying — but why I think this word “democratic socialism” is important, not just social democrat. Because it acknowledges the vast harm that has been done by the left in human history. It’s not just the right, it’s not just the corporate elite, and it’s not just the oligarchs. That people got hold of a message of concern for the ordinary person. It happened in religion too, after all, you know; structures were developed, people who claimed they were following the message of Christ, and they ended up building edifices to the exploitation of ordinary people.

I think what Bernie Sanders represents — and I’ll ask your response, but what I think he represents, the reason he’s so authentic — he actually believes in the grassroots. He actually believes that an ordinary person in Vermont can make intelligent decisions about the human condition, and about justice and freedom. And I think the reason Bernie Sanders can survive the rhetorical assaults on his leftism or his socialism, is that what people of power in the capitalist world have managed to do is identify this cause of social justice, a notion of democratic socialism with totalitarianism, with elitism.  And Bernie Sanders — and this is a good night to celebrate Bernie Sanders, if it’s true; I hadn’t caught up with the news, but if he’s really doing that well in Iowa. Because I thought he would get 1% of the vote four years ago when he started; I never thought this would happen.

I think what makes Bernie Sanders authentic is his respect for the ordinary person. He is the opposite of that leftist elitist–and you have them as well as rightist elitists — who thinks they have to distort history to protect the average person from reality. And Bernie Sanders is — he speaks truth about what’s going on. And at a time when people on the right and the left have nothing but contempt for most of the politicians, and journalistic leaders and everything else, for having betrayed them. So I think Bernie Sanders is a ray of hope. I wish he would be around a lot longer, but then again, I wish I’d be around a lot longer. But it’s nice to run into Max Blumenthal, who’s half my age and has all of that spirit that I’d like to see in journalism. So thanks, Max, for doing this.

MB: Thank you, Bob. It’s a real honor.

RS: And by the way, I ignored that last book of yours. Could you give the title again and how people get it?

MB: It’s called “The Management of Savagery.” And let me pull it off the shelf so I can actually read the subheader. You can edit this. It’s called “The Management of Savagery: How America’s National Security State Fueled the Rise of Al Qaeda, ISIS, and Donald Trump.” And it’s really kind of my look at the, sort of how the politics of my lifetime and my generation has been shaped by foreign policy disasters that an unelected foreign-policy establishment has subjected us to.

RS: Full disclosure, I actually have not read it, and I will get it as soon as I can.

MB: I’ll send you a copy —

RS: No, no, no, you got — it’s hard enough to make a living as a writer. I don’t think you should give these things away for nothing. I’ll get myself a copy. And I want to thank you again. I’ve been talking to Max Blumenthal, check out his work, check out the Grayzone. These podcasts are done basically for KCRW, the public radio station in Santa Monica, where Christopher Ho is the engineer who gets it up on the air.

At Truthdig, Natasha Hakimi Zapata writes the brilliant intros and overview of these things and posts them up there. Here at USC, Sebastian Grubaugh, the Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism, really gets the whole thing going and hooks up everyone, thanks to him. And finally, there’d be no “Scheer Intelligence” without the main Scheer, Joshua Scheer, who’s the show’s producer. And we’ll see you next week with another edition of “Scheer Intelligence.”

[things-we-used-tc-share]

Symbols

Thank you to @breebro for commissioning me!

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit, Angst

Ship: None

Plot: Deceit is struggling to comprehend what this might mean for Thomas, in the meantime, the others are debating what this means for Thomas. 

Please read Branded first!

When they were all a little younger, Creativity had an idea, that is after all his job-ideas. When they were all ready and when Thomas was ready, the sturdier parts of his personality should have symbols to represent their parts to play. It had been a nice idea, but once it was in Thomas’ mind, it was unfortunately no longer up to Creativity to decide who got the brands and when. 

Patton got his first, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement, showing his little heart on his chest as he smiled around at them. Roman had found it endearing, Logan a little too fanciful for his taste, but he agreed it was a good idea. That night, the coat of arms that Roman was all too familiar with in his dreams appeared with a scratch of pain on his arm. 

Two weeks later, Logan, the last of the three to fully accept the idea to what other’s might call a heart, has his appear at the base of his neck. The three of them quietly admired them for a while after that, although Logic often struggled because he couldn’t technically see his, ironic considering Thomas so often loses sight of his actual Logic. 

A couple years later, after Virgil is revealed to have a functional purpose and is ready to be accepted into the group as much as they are ready to accept him, wake up to a rather sharp hiss of pain as his brand appears. He wasn’t quite happy about it, but he got used to it after a while. 

Now, mirroring the same spot over his heart that Morality had received his, Deceit stares blankly at his own reflection. He’d wanted Thomas to consider him and he’d wanted Thomas to think about his methods every now and then. But this? No matter how smug he pretended to act there is no way Deceit can pretend this is a good idea; the twenty-nine-year-old may be a little scattered at times but he is a good person. 

Thomas is a good person.

And there is no room for Deceit behind the rails of decision making, in a good person. He sits on the edge of his bed and stares at his hands. Every time he thinks about peeking outside his door he can hear the four of them arguing downstairs; he’d managed to upset Patton once again and although he shouldn’t care as much as he fears he does, Patton is at the core of many of Thomas’ feelings. As long as Patton is distressed then so is their host. 

He flops back on the bed and stares at the ceiling, all around this was bad news, and no matter how much he tries to consider the good points all he can think of is that unconsciously Thomas will continue to use his deception as a means. Right?

Deceit sighs, pushing his brown hair from his eyes as he opens the door and creeps to the top of the stairs to listen. 

“Perhaps this simply isn’t as bad as you assume Patton,” Roman sounds stressed, tired despite it not even being afternoon. As he peaks through the railings to see them stood in a circle talking, except Virgil whose sitting on the breakfast bar, studying them with exhaustion written on his face. 

“Roman’s correct, even if Deceit is now being factored into Thomas’ decision making, unconsciously or not, his end goal is to make sure Thomas isn’t disadvantaged, not turn him into a moral-less person,” Logan added into the conversation, his arms folded firmly across his chest. “We all want what’s best for Thomas,”

“No, Deceit wants what’s best for him,” Virgil throws in, sliding off the breakfast bar to approach them “He couldn’t care less about Thomas,” 

“That’s a little harsh Virgil,” Roman adds quietly and Deceit thinks ‘at least one person isn’t completely lost in their dislike for me,’ Not that he can entirely blame them he did, after all, impersonate their friend and try to get Thomas to lie to his best friend. In his defense, he does want what’s best for Thomas but his job is to go about it in ways that other’s might not. 

His job is to lie. 

He hates that his job is to play the villain, like every person in the world constantly chooses not to lie; of course not, the world is full of liars, and it’s the liars that always get the best options. But Thomas isn’t like that is he, thanks to Patton he’d rather be disadvantaged than be false.

“Virgil’s right,” Patton adds in, his voice is laced with distaste and something that sounded between sadness and anger. “Deceit’s job is to be the antithesis of everything that I helped shape Thomas to be, that other people have shaped him to be, a good person,” Logan sighs and turns around with a shake of his head, grabbing his cup of coffee off the tabletop. 

Deceit goes to stand and move away but the stairs creak under his weight, loud in the silence and diverting all attention to his place at the top of the stairs. He swallows slightly. “Have any of us tried asking his opinion on this?” Logan interjects, “It might be beneficial to understand...”

“If you can get him to tell the truth for two seconds,” 

Virgil’s glare sets fire to Deceit’s nerves and he pulls a cool expression in response “I am perfectly capable of telling the truth,” He steps down the stairs under the assumption that if he’s made his bed, he might as well sleep in it. “I solemnly swear,”

“That you’re up to no good,” Virgil finishes blankly.

“Hilarious,” The deceptive side mutters sarcastically “My opinion is that this isn’t good,” only Logan manages to conceal his surprise as the other three pull various expressions of incredulity “But it can be good,” Everyone starts to talk at once, and he rolls his eyes with a sigh as the bickering ensues. He meets Logan’s eyes across the arguing and the logical side is regarding him with curiosity, once again, studying his expression blankly. 

“Perhaps we should consult Thomas,” he mutters, adjusting his necktie, before repeating himself, louder. “It is Thomas’ decision after all whatever that may be, that had lead to Deceit taking a seat at the figurative control panel, so we should consult Thomas on this,” Silence falls and they all exchange looks. 

“I suppose, it couldn’t hurt,” Patton replies quietly, carding a hand through his hair nervously “It would make sense to talk to Thomas after all,”

Deceit nods slowly. It does make sense, and he couldn’t believe they were all sharing one collective brain cell long enough to not have come up with that in the first place. 

Thomas is not used to visitors it seems, as he jumps out of his skin the moment they appear, spilling a bowl of popcorn all over his couch. He sighs and shakes his head “I wish you guys would just stop appearing out of nowhere, especially you two,” He points to Anxiety and Deceit “I wish there was a way to give me some forewarning,”

“There isn’t, and we’re here now what did you do?” Anxiety brushes past the others and glaring at Thomas with narrowed eyes, his face made up of set and heavy lines as he focuses on his host. The man blinks back, a small ‘uhhh’ escaping him in his confusion. He looks over to Roman, Patton, and Logan, then to Deceit. 

“What...did I do?” 

Logan sighs in response, “It seems that Deceit has gotten a brand,” He starts, his hands clasping as he talks “Which means he’s now a part of your decision-making process permanently, the assumption is something about you has changed that we can’t quite understand,” Thomas’ expression remains blank. 

“I...don’t feel any different,”

“Well something’s very different and very wrong,” Virgil snaps, his patience already so thin and breaking with each piece of hope that’s torn away from him “So start thinking, because he’s here, and he’s got his mark,” But Thomas’ face only looks anxious. 

“I don’t think he has done anything different,” Patton mutters sadly, “And as much as I hate to say it, I don’t think Deceit has either, except for making his presence more known,” He pauses, sighing “I think that now Thomas knows he’s here, he can’t be unaware of him anymore, which means he must consider Deceit in his decision making,” They all go quiet. 

It’s Thomas that breaks the silence “Why does that have to be so bad?” The looks between surprise and grief vary on each face “I mean I have always considered lying, that’s human...right Logan?” Logan nods “Even if I do consider Deceit that doesn’t mean I have to choose him, it just means it’s harder not to choose him,” Virgil un-tenses a little, his expression reading ‘really?’ “If he’s a part of me now, it’s not about pushing him away, it’s about accepting and listening to him and making an educated decision from all of your perspectives,”

“Which means he has to stop benching people whenever he feels like it,” Virgil adds bitterly, his gaze fixated on the deceitful facet. 

“That’s part of my job,” Virgil hisses in response. “I’ll see what I can do,” He sighs “But I can’t not do my job, it’s what I’m created to do, you can’t expect me to change because without it Thomas doesn’t have the option not to choose and that’s important,” The host nods in response, gesturing in Deceit’s general direction with a defeated look “And sometimes lying is the right answer, or at least learning to put yourself first,”

“Lying is never the right answer!” Patton retorts, leaning towards the other with a stern expression. 

“Maybe this is precisely why he’s here,” Logan interjects, gesturing towards the two. “To some extent, Deceit is right, putting oneself first is almost essential to survival especially in a society founded on lying, if you look at the examples around you do you think any of them got where they are by not lying? Now I’m not insinuating that Thomas should become a deceitful person by any means, but as I’ve stated previously given all the variations of lying that exist it would be almost impossible for him not to lie, and lies can serve a purpose,” He pauses “Sometimes lies are beneficial for all parties involved, and sometimes lying consecutively can create a hypothetical web impossible to escape from, the two of you represent each extreme- Patton believes in no circumstance should you lie, whereas Deceit believes there is never a situation where a lie cannot be used,” 

Roman is the first to understand the logical facet’s words “So Deceit and Patton...balance each other out?”

“Precisely, both ends of this spectrum is ‘toxic’ by itself,” Logan adds “But if they can learn to find a middle ground...”

“Then they can act with each other instead of against, find a compromise,” Thomas finished, looking slightly dazed from retaining all that information. Logan gestures towards him with a nod, agreeing with him. “Can I...see it? I’ve seen everyone else's,” Deceit pauses and steps forward in front of them all, lifting up his shirt to show the ink on his chest. 

Thomas stares for a moment and nods. “It suits you,” he pauses “It’s in the same place as Patton’s,” Patton flinches a little, his arms folding protectively across his chest “I guess it makes sense if you are supposed to balance each other out,” 

Logan unconsciously brings a hand up to the back of his neck, his fingertips brushing over where the ink is, Roman mimics his movement on the other side of the room, his hand coming up to rest on his arm. Virgil simply looks restless. “It might take some time to adapt,” Deceit mutters “But,” He sighs, slightly resentful “I’m sure we can work something out,” The look he gives shows he really does not want to get started on that right away, but Roman gives him a hopeful smile and he can’t help but give the tiniest semblance of one in response. 

“I don’t like it,” Virgil throws his hands up in defeat “But whatever, sure, if it means things are more efficient or whatever,” He shakes his head “But if you try anything Deceit I swear to God, you will not like the consequences,”

Silence falls as they exchange looks, trying to compute what the future might hold. Only Logan fails to look somewhat worried, as he takes in the emotions of the others and turns his head away slightly, his hand still over the symbol on the base of his neck. 

It’s not like Deceit can see right through him, he reassures himself, it’s not like Deceit knows about his doubts as he tries to keep the worry off his face. 

But it does, after all, take a liar to know a liar. And Logan had perfected the art of lying a long time ago.

@analogical-mess // @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten//@theresneverenoughfandoms//@charmingprincey//@aclickonapostwillchangeyourlife//@heck-im-lost //@k9cat//@stilljittery//@romansleftshoulderpad//@sanderssideslibrary // @max-is-tired//@therealmoshar//@punsterterry//@trashypansexual// @wxlcomxtothxjunglx//@demigodnamedathena//@sevencrashing//@misunderstood-shadow //@aphriteblack//@jemthebookworm//@sandersandthesides//@penguinkool//@georganabanana//@importantrunawaystudentstuff // @ao-koshka  //@dangerous-doodle  // @smilyslimyboi // @no-sleep-gang-posts

[dippedanddripped]

Fear of God's Jerry Lorenzo (left) and Zegna Creative Director Alessandro Sartori LONDON, United Kingdom — Jerry Lorenzo’s memories of Zegna dial back decades, to his father becoming manager of the Chicago White Sox baseball team and celebrating his appointment with a visit to Michigan Avenue, the city’s Magnificent Mile, home to major luxury brands. First stop, the Italian suiting giant Ermenegildo Zegna.

“The name represented elegance, sophistication,” Lorenzo remembers, “so many aspirational things that I’ve held on to in my subconscious ever since.”

He cycled through a series of entrepreneurial incarnations before settling into fashion with Fear of God, the upmarket streetwear brand that has become a cult favourite (he prefers to think of it as “American luxury”), but those memories of his dad shopping for suits have come back into vivid play with his latest project: a collaboration with Zegna and its Artistic Director Alessandro Sartori on a new collection for men, comprised of fashion and accessories at luxury price points, set to launch during Paris fashion week and hit retail in September.

“A good opportunity to explore new territory with a new customer,” said Chief Executive Gildo Zegna, “to combine the quality of the past with a modern attitude.”

The hybrid has flourished as a menswear staple since Kim Jones fused the sporty and the sartorial in the early years of the 21st century. Even so, the principles of this latest manifestation acknowledge its fundamental unlikeliness. Fear of God is rooted in Californian subcultures: a freeform stew of sport, skate, punk, hip-hop, hints of Goth. Meanwhile, Zegna has been the apogee of tailored Italian elegance for over a century. Melrose Avenue versus Via Monte Napoleone. And Lorenzo and Sartori couldn’t look more physically different.

“Aesthetically, our worlds are so far apart,” Lorenzo agrees, “but we’re inextricably tied.” Why am I irresistibly reminded of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in “Twins”? He hooted with laughter. “I love that movie. If you know anything about me, all I do is watch '80s and '90s movies. So many of my references come from that time period. It’s exactly that: when your destiny is tied to someone, you have to be prepared for the initial relationship to be a tough one.”

Aesthetically, our worlds are so far apart, but we’re inextricably tied.

Fact is, though, it wasn’t tough. Lorenzo and Sartori were primed for each other when they first met for coffee a year ago. “I already liked his styling, the way he dropped collections when he felt like it, the approach of his stores,” said Sartori. And Lorenzo soon found out they shared not only core values but also, he said, a common mission for menswear. “We’d debate back and forth about a shoulder width or what have you, but we never ever wavered because we believed what the collection needed to say in the end."

What that means exactly will be revealed on March 2, but the designers drop some oblique hints.

“I strongly believe there’s a gap between what’s happening culturally in streetwear and tailoring,” said Lorenzo. “It’s extreme to go from hoodie and sweats to a perfectly tailored suit tomorrow. There’s a place in between that speaks to both languages: easiness, relaxation, tailoring without compromise.”

Sartori described a “very physical” work process, “cutting and re-building silhouettes on real men, with a different approach to sizing, because Jerry likes to work on large sizes. So, the 48 is more than a 48, reflecting a freer body rather than a specific size of shoulder or chest.”

“There’s oversize and there’s a way to refine that,” said Lorenzo. “Alessandro has been extremely helpful, taking the idea and perfecting it.”

Sartori insists that working on the silhouettes was the most interesting part for him. “That was where we saw how different we were and how our approach was evolving into a third approach. One plus one equals three. I noticed a bit more sexiness and freedom.” Jerry laughed when he heard this. “Three years ago, I was talking to some consultants about what’s next for Fear of God. I said, ‘I wanna get into tailoring. I don’t know what it is, but I have this conviction that I want to make a sexy Zegna.’”

So, that was three years ago, and Lorenzo was already noticing the kind of shifts that other streetwear gurus have since picked up on, most notably Virgil Abloh’s recent declaration that streetwear is “gonna die,” drowned in a sea of T-shirts, hoodies and sneakers.

Jerry has his own take on that. “Streetwear designers have been given recognition as the creative directors and artisans they are. The title is changing but not necessarily the product.” Still, he calls himself his own best R&D department, and his instincts are telling him that a more mature look is driving the market.

Meanwhile, the customer Sartori has been courting in his collections for Zegna seems to be skewing younger, if you take the menswear spectacles he stages in Milan as his manifestos.

“There, I’m trying to evolve a certain grammar, write a new chapter for the book,” he explained. “What I’m doing with Jerry is a parallel language. I’m trying to write a new page for a generation I don’t work with today, who’ve never approached this message before. But there will also be people who haven’t found certain products from Jerry and now they’ll find suits, certain blazers, crafted leathers, beautiful coats, accessories… I think there are new product categories for both of our customers."

I’m trying to write a new page for a generation I don’t work with today, who’ve never approached this message before.

Music to a CEO’s ears. “The first thing that comes to my mind is that it will help us in the States where Jerry is super-well-known,” said Gildo Zegna. “We’ve not reached our potential with the new Zegna of Alessandro and this is a way that could help us reach out quicker. A new customer for Alessandro, a new customer for Jerry… that gives us new chances around the world.”

He acknowledges that the profound differences between the two make this a bold move, but he also notes their compatibility: the heritage, the purity, the authenticity.

Part of Lorenzo’s own purist point of view is that he bridles at the merest suggestion of the commercial exposure this collab could garner for him.

“It’s not an issue or desire for me. I’ve never relied on or hoped for that or looked to celebrity or anything other than my point of view to be the platform from which we reach the world. When you start thinking of the commercial or PR side, you begin to get lost and forget why you’re doing it.”

For him, Zegna is all about an opportunity to elevate what he already does to the very highest level.

Jerry is a spiritual guy. “You think he’s a party person, but when you call Jerry, he’s walking in the mountains with his daughter,” said Sartori.

“The foundation of what I do is faith,” explained Lorenzo. “I listen to a lot of sermons. Bishop TD Jakes says the greatest gift you can give someone is exposure. I think I’ve been exposed to a new way of doing what I do. And hopefully I’ve done all I can to expose Zegna to a new way of thinking.”

There was one early reaction to the collection that I was particularly keen to understand. Jerry Manuel introduced his son to Zegna. How does he feel about Jerry Junior’s latest move?

“I think I’ve got some solutions to have him look more like a 60-year-old man,” said Lorenzo. “I really think this collection not only shows a young man how to mature, but also gives an older market the freedom to approach their wardrobe in a different way. But, to be honest, my mom is more excited than my dad. All he wears is Fear of God. My mom said, ‘Finally my husband is not going to look like a kid!’”

[wrenarrior]

Your Guide to Death

The following is a work of fiction. You have been warned.

△ preface △

Congratulations!

Now that you are 13 years old, you are officially old enough to begin practicing the death ritual.

Before we go into great detail about the ritual itself, it’s time to lay down some background information. First of all, you may be asking yourself: “Well, what is death? Why should I care?”

Well, to give some context to why you should care, everyone is going to die. The world has existed before you were here, and the world will continue to exist until the end of time itself.

And no, unlike the movies, it is not an empty void of nothingness. To even perceive an empty void of nothingness, you would need a point of reference. Death means no point of reference.

So, there would be no “you” to perceive the lack of nothing. The “you” that is reading this right now will be wiped clean from the slate, almost as if you never even existed in the first place.

Are you beginning to envision the depth of what this means? Maybe you’re starting to panic, too. We understand. Confronting our own mortality is not something that’s easy for us humans to do.

So, that’s why we’re here to help you out. If you follow this guide word-for-word, you will be ready to die peacefully and completely. Because you know what they say, life is very fragile.

On the bright side, though, most of you won’t have to deal with the effects of death for many, many years. After all, you’re only 13. These days, the average human lives until around age 80.

While there is plenty of time to prepare for death, starting early is important. The earlier you think about and prepare for your own death, the more prepared you will be to leave this world.

Now, without further ado, let us begin exploring the process of the death ritual.

△ mechanics △

The death ritual consists of three major phases: costume, decay, and complete erasure. While these three phases will not always happen during a person’s death, they are good for practice.

1. Costume: When one begins of age and is ready to start the death ritual, it is important to buy the right costume to prepare. In small shops all around the country, you may be able to find the proper mask and sleeping attire. Prices usually run between $500-$1000.

2. Decay: With the proper costume on, you must lie back in your bed, clearing your thoughts as much as possible. Your mind will naturally go to sleep mode, but as soon as it detects the presence of the costume, special hormones are released, simulating death. This phase may be painful for some, especially when one is a beginner, so be careful.

3. Complete Erasure: The pinnacle of the three trials. It is only possible to gauge the success of this phase from an outside perspective. You, of course, will feel nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. From your perspective, when you awake, it’ll be as if no time has passed.

If you experience any side effects during your death ritual, please consult a mortician. In some rare cases, it has been discovered that a person has died without being aware of their own death. We call these cases “technical glitches” because their death does not follow the proper protocol.

On the other hand, it is normal to experience mild hallucinations while in the “complete erasure” stage. Our science may not be perfect, but we aim to bring you as close as we can to the complete death experience. If these hallucinations persist for a long period of time, let us know.

While it is recommended to perform the death ritual every single night, it is okay if you only do it 3-5 nights a week. A regular check-in with a doctor about your plans for death is a healthy alternative to these rituals as well. Being aware of your own mortality makes life easier to live.

△ acceptance △

By this point, you’ve either accepted that you’re going to die, or you’re trying to convince yourself that none of this even matters. Well, those who avoid accepting their own mortality often report a lower quality in life. So, yes, accepting that you’re going to die is essential.

Some of you may be wondering why it’s important or how to even accept your own mortality. And because we know it may be a difficult thing to process, we are here to help you with it.

First off, read the following sentence aloud ten times:

“I am going to die, and that is okay.”

Taste the words in your mouth. Feel the meaning. Let it sink into the deepest parts of your mind. Think about how important it is for you to understand this core concept. How essential it is.

Have you accepted it yet? If not, keep repeating that sentence. Repeat that sentence as long as it takes you. Repeat it in the classroom. Repeat it while riding the bus. Repeat it in the shower.

After a while, the words will become second nature. When that happens, you will no longer need to repeat them. The words will become a part of you. The words will become your new truth.

And that, my friends, is the first step towards accepting your inevitable death.

△ grief △ While it may be years before many of you will be personally affected by the impact of death, it’s always best to prepare for such things well in advance. After all, you will have only one death.

But you will experience many more deaths of the people around you. Therefore, having some pre-knowledge of the grieving process and how to prepare for it will make your life much easier.

(Side note: By possessing this book, you forfeit your right to sue us if your loved one dies during the death ritual. We hold no responsibility for the chemical makeup of the death ritual costume.)

In this modern era, the grieving process has simplified to three basic steps. Forget everything you might have heard of the so-called “five stages of grief” because those are woefully inaccurate.

Step 1: Jealousy. While you have to continue to go through the death ritual night after night, your lucky loved one had the honor of participating in the real thing. And now, they no longer exist.

Step 2: Guilt. After realizing your feelings of jealousy, you feel vast amounts of guilt. So much guilt that some nights, you begin to wonder if you were the one that led them to their death.

Step 3: Acceptance. You come to accept that death is a natural part of life, so you put aside all your negative feelings, focusing only on the peace that comes from the death ritual. You live on.

Compared to before, our obsession with death has grown more and more. There are entire industries dedicated to every step of the way. So, naturally, our feelings have changed, too.

It is completely normal to not follow the three-step-guideline, but nowadays, it is socially acceptable to do so. If you follow any other path, you may be closely monitored for your safety.

Those who die by suicide are said to suffer the most in their last moments. However, the outcome of death is the same for everyone, regardless of if you were a good or bad person.

In the end, we will all be wiped clean from the Earth, sprinkling matter everywhere. You may be asking about souls, but we haven’t been able to conduct research to prove the existence of them.

So, settle in and enjoy the long wait until your death. You could even turn it into a game. It’s common practice for large families or friend groups to bet on who would end up dying first.

△ closing note △

In conclusion, all things must come to an end, even this lovely guide which you have treasured so dearly. At some point or another, you must learn to say goodbye to the things you love most.

Through this guide, we have taught you the essentials of the ritual, how to accept your inevitable demise, and how to process your feelings when your beloved friends and family members depart.

If you would like to learn more about the whole process on a deeper level that goes beyond the scope of this introductory guide, please look for Your Guide to Death: Extended Version online.

We hope we’ve been able to help you find peace in your life because, spoiler alert, there is no afterlife for you to look forward to. Have a nice day and enjoy the rest of your meager lives.

[November 2018]

[clariverse]

Writer In Motion: Week Four

Yesterday I got my feedback from the Editor Jeni Chappelle, which means my little Writer In Motion story is ready for its final draft.

I talked in my last week’s post about positive feedback and accepting it, so today I’ll only sum up the comments as I understood them and get right on with the final draft itself.

As always, if you’d like to skip the talk and get to the story, click here.

What I heard (read) Jeni say, and some of my thoughts:

The opening works: it’s got sense of setting along with moving the plot, plus nice imagery

Some phrasing conflicts with the fairytale-y tone of the story, and/or is vague and bordering on too flowery. I found just cutting these was the best course of action.

The #s as scene separators get a bit jarring when there’s so many in such a short piece

This sentence—On the eve of the equinox, the Spirit fell from her skies by the wish of a lonely child, and concocted a plan to trick her.—could use some more explanation. This is a big one, and one that gave me a bit of a headache. The plan itself is explained in the rest of the story, and I didn’t want to clutter this opening by infodumping that—but the rest, in my mind, just is. So I cheated a bit and sought consult with my writerly friends, and they suggested it was the “tricking her” part that needed clarity—which I can definitely see now that it’s been pointed out, and I hope addressing that helps some of the confusion.

I could cut and tweak some phrasings to lower the wordcount. A couple of these suggestions, I think, are style preferences I’m not too keen on changing, BUT a vast majority had me going “oh, duh” in mild embarrassment. It’s a good thing, though; gives me more words to use elsewhere as needed!

On the note of adding things and elaborating, this sentence—It was the birthday of the giants’ matriarch, an evening festive and alive with colour, and the Spirit feared.—feels incomplete

The styling of italics for dialogue in the past story, while using regular quotes for it in the present story, doesn’t work. I wish, I wish I got more on this. It’s something a CP pointed out last week as well—not seeing the point of it—so I really am seeing it as a thing to address.. This was my second little headache, and at the time of writing this I’m sure of one thing: it’s a matter of consistency. I need to make it consistent. Whether that means making it all regular dialogue OR making it all italics… I’m not sure! There’s something about that italicising approach that I feel adds to the tone and atmosphere, and I think this is me convincing myself to just go with that. Call me whatever you will—it’s calling to me, and where better to experiment than in this story?

Overall it’s a good story, and the way I reveal information as well as emotional connection both work (she even went as far as to use the words “brilliant” and “impressed” respectively—and here I was, genuinely expecting to hear none of it works and none of it is good enough)

Receiving all this feedback, I was inspired to work on the final draft right away. There were a couple of things I definitely needed to think about (looking at you, dialogue formatting), but overall I was happy.

I must stress this: I really appreciate the fact that the comments came from a place genuinely aiming to improve this story, as opposed to aiming to change its core. It’s the approach that I believe distinguishes a good editor, and I’m very grateful for it.

Here’s what came out of it all: the final draft.

Sometimes Our Skies

The Giant climbs the mountain one narrow stair at a time, carrying in her arms a dying spirit of the skies. She pushes against the chilling wind and raindrops swirling before her face, her heart drumming the rhythm, almost there, almost there.

-

On the eve of the equinox, the Spirit fell from the skies by a lonely child’s wish for a companion, and to make way back home concocted a plan to trick her.

-

More-stairs-than-she-can-count up the mountain, the Giant pauses to look back, for the first time since she started the climb. Far below, the stairs disappear in the ocean of white, where islands of smaller mountaintops peek through the clouds and early snowflakes await to flutter upon the giants’ cities. Up ahead, the stairs lead into the quiet mist of further heights, to new, thinner clouds caught against the sharp peaks. She still has ways to go.

-

On their first night, the Spirit asked not for the child’s name, because she wouldn’t be staying long. On their first dawn, the child cried not to be alone, and the Spirit held her hand.

-

Step, step, step. The Giant hums a song, voice hoarse from the cold, a hymn to the adventurers designed to bring spring into one’s step and courage to one’s heart.

We’re almost there, she tells the bundle in her arms, ashen curls sticking out of the wraps of tawny fur.

The Spirit says nothing.

-

On the night of their first year, the Spirit remembered her plan. Make the child wish her back home; let that wish burn the child’s soul in place of the Spirit’s own, and leave her behind cold and still as the Spirit shines back up in her skies. Soon, she told herself.

But to the child she only said, I’m here.

And the child smiled.

-

The Giant reaches the top cold and tired. Her fingers might be blocks of stone, even shielded from the worst cold by the furs around the half-conscious spirit. There’s the tower, up ahead, almost there: on a pier of concrete between the worlds, a structure of metal rises up to meet the sky, built to withstand millennia by the giants of the old. The stories say they lived for hundreds, thousands of years.

The thought makes the Giant’s chest warm with excitement, even through the cold. Oh, how wonderful it would be, to live that long, to live forever. But perhaps so lonely, too.

-

On the last day of their fifteenth spring, the Spirit’s eyes fluttered closed. It was the birthday of the giants’ matriarch, an evening festive and alive with colour, and the Spirit feared: soon enough, she’ll have waited too long.

I am tired, she said.

The child who was growing up held her close, stroked her hair and whispered small poems into her ear, and said, Tell me what I can do.

And the Spirit didn’t even think of seizing her chance.

-

The Giant climbs the tower with the last of her strength. She now carries the Spirit in a makeshift sash across her chest, and if not for the scarf wrapped tight around her face, her lips would brush against the softest curls she’d ever touched.

Quietly, the Spirit stirs. She senses the closeness of her skies, of the home she already thought lost.

We’re almost there, the Giant coos.

I will miss you, the Spirit whimpers.

-

On the morning of summer solstice, when the child was a child no longer and the Spirit had paled to an ashen shade, she told of a plan long discarded and said, I will extinguish like stars before the morning sun. But I will not let you burn in my place.

On the morning of summer solstice, when the leaves on the trees were bright, the child who was no longer a child heard it was too late to wish, and instead declared, I will take you home.

-

The tower pierces the skies. It enters the realm of the spirits with a sharp peak, bright with snow and stardust, but the Giant doesn’t climb that far. She stops when the clouds swirl closer with the wind, the skies excited and concerned to meet their long-lost denizen.

She unwraps the furs and kisses the Spirit’s forehead. And she says to the wind and the cold and the heights, She’s going to be all right.

The winds take hold of the Spirit’s pale curls. They tug at her sweater—the one the Giant made her, purple and blue and silver like the evening—and, finally, lift her up to where the heights chatter in voices of all the others, Welcome back home.

And it’s now, not when her knees had started hurting or the Spirit had been so silent in her arms, not when the elders of the city had warned her no one ever returned from the mountain, that the Giant cries.

She doesn’t speak, because she can’t find her voice. But she holds the Spirit’s hand, and for a moment it’s like holding a torch, like touching a star. The clouds light up with all the shades of autumn and fire, all the pinks of chilly dawns and golds of warm sunsets. And she puts in her touch all she needs to say, a fragile plea upon tear-stained memories: Don’t forget me.

She is ready to start her climb down, only hoping the cold and the exhaustion will catch up with her far enough for the Spirit not to have to witness it.

But the sky lights up again.

-

The Spirit reaches with a hand no longer so pale, lips stretched into a lopsided smile that sends the Giant’s chest fluttering. And as the wind calms and the voices of her family sing a quiet song of gratitude and welcome, the Spirit makes a wish of her own: Stay with me.

[weaselandfriends]

Hymnstoke XIV

Like Act 2, Act 4 opens with a walkaround game.

I didn't comment much on the game at the beginning of Act 2, despite it being one of those much-discussed multimedia elements that make Homestuck so distinctive. In Act 2, the movement from linear story to game serves several purposes. First, it demonstrates an increase in scope, both in terms of Homestuck's story and in relation to Hussie's previous effort, Problem Sleuth. While Act 1 incorporated a couple of new elements not seen in other MSPA comics, such as protagonists capable of speech and a handful of simple videos, the Act 2 walkaround is the first dramatic increase in what readers could have reasonably expected from the comic at the time.

Secondly, the novel concept of incorporating a game into the story corresponds to and emphasizes the novel concept of SBURB within the narrative of Homestuck. Just as the world in which John now finds himself is completely new and unexpected, so too are the readers introduced to this world through a new and unexpected medium. This world is even called the "Medium"—and surrounding a space (Skaia) described as a crucible of pure creation. I previously discussed the significance of SBURB's geography in regards to Gnosticism, but one could also interpret it as a statement on Homestuck as a creative enterprise. A crucible of pure creation through which a new world, or a new mode of expression, will be built. Like how John and friends attempt to create a new world from the fragments of the old, Hussie creates a new kind of story from the fragments of all types of storytelling that came before it. Image, text, video, sound, game—Homestuck strings together these disparate modes of expression into an original creation. In short, the method by which Homestuck is presented mirrors its explicit thematic content.

Wikipedia defines phenomenology as "the philosophical study of the structures of experience and consciousness." Remember how I mentioned that the modernists were often concerned with the conscious and subconscious, and how many attempted to reach truth by depicting the subconscious? Similar concept here.

I was introduced to the term "phenomenology" in relation to art history. In particular, my professor applied the term to modernist painting and sculpture that was designed so that the act of experiencing it changes its meaning. Let's take the following sculpture:

"Sculpture?" you may ask. Yes, I know. It looks more like a misshapen industrial structure. The problem with this sculpture is that no single photograph can truly depict it. Here's the same sculpture from a different vantage:

Another:

Still another:

Top down:

Is this sculpture broader at the bottom or at the top? What shape is it, exactly? You can find this sculpture at the University of California, Los Angeles, and you can even go inside it through the opening visible in some of the photographs. Inside, it takes on a completely different appearance, although unfortunately I couldn't find any good pictures of the inside that didn't have a gigantic Getty Images watermark on them.

In art, this phenomenological experience often boils down to optical illusion or a similar technical trick that appears novel at first but lacks much substance beyond its presentation. What meaning can we derive from this experiment or others like it?

I believe that the phenomenological creations of the modernists eventually reached an apotheosis in a more contemporary form of creative expression: Video games.

The way the player perceives a video game, even a video game you might consider simplistic or linear, is directly affected by how the player plays the game. Take, say, Super Mario Bros. (1985) for the Nintendo Entertainment System. In this game, the player moves Mario left to right to reach a fixed goal. But even this game is affected immensely by the innumerable choices each player makes in playing the game. For an extreme example, compare how a speed run of Super Mario Bros. looks compared to any casual experience of the game. Some elements of the speed run even involve elements assuredly not intended by the game's creator (glitches, for instance). But even at a less extreme level, every player's experience of Super Mario Bros. will differ depending on the routes they take to reach the end, the strategies they employ to evade obstacles, or even the amount of times they die before finally succeeding.

Why do I bring this up? The concept of phenomenology ties into Homestuck's "reader participation" elements, both via the prompt suggestions early on and the more psychological effect the fandom has on Homestuck's development in its back half. Of these two "reader participation" elements, the latter is the one that is probably better described as "phenomenological," in that it is the readership's perspective of Homestuck that eventually drives its trajectory (as opposed to the prompt suggestions, from which Hussie could pick and choose at will). In the back half of Homestuck, the narrative plays more and more on the author's interpretation of the readership's interpretation of the narrative, becoming a perspectival mobius double reach-around where the true driver of the narrative's creation becomes increasingly unclear.

But more specifically, I want to discuss this walkaround game at the beginning of Act 4 in particular. Compared to the one at the beginning of Act 2, this walkaround is not increasing Homestuck's scope. John is entering a new location, but the experience is less novel than entering the Medium in Act 2, both in terms of John's perspective and the reader's. While the Act 4 walkaround features mechanical improvements (inventory, combat) over the Act 2 walkaround, it is still essentially the same thing: a video game. The reader has seen this before in Homestuck. It's not new.

I cannot speak for the experience of every reader, but each time I read Homestuck I am tempted to skip this walkaround entirely. The combat mechanics are banal, the camera is zoomed too close to John to allow for satisfying exploration of an unfamiliar world. In Act 2, the walkaround takes place in an area with which the reader is already geographically acquainted (John's house), so the camera issues are less apparent. But trying to navigate this twisting maze of blue paths, surrounded on all sides by nondescript rocks and mushrooms, can become frustrating. Even if I consult the supplementary map image, I find it somewhat difficult to figure out where I am and where I'm supposed to go.

Which is just the thing. The reader is not supposed to go anywhere. There is no real resolution to this walkaround. The same, in fact, can be said for every walkaround, and we will continue to get amazingly nonessential walkarounds in the acts to come. What does the reader miss if they skip this Act 4 walkaround? Some tedious exposition on the nature of John's planet, its consorts, its customs. Superfluous W O R L D B U I L D I N G that the Homestuck narrative is quick to forget from henceforth on.

It kind of makes me want to, shall we say, skip to the end.

In Act 5, Vriska and Tavros will discuss how the way one plays a game affects the way the game is perceived. Hardcore speed runner Vriska will take my side of the argument and skip what she can; Tavros, more in line with readers inclined to learn as much about SBURB's lore as possible, will argue instead for assiduously completing every task. This conflict—between speed and lore, content and fluff, meat and candy if you will—eventually becomes the core and final dichotomy of Homestuck. But in Homestuck's later stages, the characters and narrative will apply this dichotomy not to how we experience video games, but how we experience all art—and how we experience our actual lives. I intend to trace that development, and this walkaround serves as a fine introduction.

In a few years, Flash will be deprecated and you'll only be able to experience this walkaround through this series of images. I don't know who created these images, or whether laziness or incompetency made them so shitty and SBaHJ-esque. But I give that person props for maintaining that sense of "God this sucks, can I just skip it?" Good job, intern.

You switch to PICTIONARY, a choice based on a strong whim from the mysterious ethers of democracy.

Another one of those traps, like the suggestion prompts. Wow! The readers get to pick Jade's fetch modus! What an amazing display of reader/author interaction! Except Jade's fetch modus doesn't matter. In fact, as we transition into this next phase of the story, nobody's fetch modus will matter. The fact that all of Jade's possible fetch modii are total jokes only emphasizes the point.

I mentioned in the previous Hymnstoke that we're entering what I'm calling the "clockwork" part of Homestuck. In this part, Homestuck's audience has the least amount of control over its progression. While the suggestion prompts were mostly irrelevant because Hussie could pick whatever prompt he wanted, they occasionally paved actual story or character developments ("Become the mayor of Can Town") or formed memetic jokes that would mutate over the course of Homestuck into part of its mythos. And in Act 6, the immensity of the Homestuck fandom and its increasingly vocal demands will lead to a more subtle transition in what Homestuck becomes—the mobius double reach-around I mentioned previously. But here, in the clockwork part of the story, it's more Hussie than anywhere else. Of course it would be. It's Dirk, Hussie's analogue (connected via a series of motifs like horses and robotics), that comes to represent the Meat side of storytelling, that describes the way a story should be told as a perfect machine. An unfocused, nebulous gaggle of "readers" cannot hope to coordinate among themselves to create something so precise and efficient. Their strengths lie in different directions.

Ok, have at it! If you're at a loss, click the controller button up there.

This may or may not mean anything to you depending on your current perspective.

As it turns out, the story retreads everything that happens in the Act 4 walkaround anyway, making it even less relevant. Even Crumplehat and the Salamander Wizard appear as the walkaround's events are depicted from PM's perspective. This recap is actually pretty extensive, similar to the shitty SBaHJified image walkthrough that got put up in anticipation of Flash's deprecation.

I wonder if Hussie was self-conscious about people's patience for the walkaround? Or maybe he already anticipated Flash would not last forever? Perhaps he added this recap for accessibility reasons, in case of visually-impaired readers? Maybe he felt some new insight would come from seeing the same events replicated from a different character's viewpoint? Or maybe he simply wanted to reveal that the person speaking to John during the walkaround was PM instead of WV?

I'm doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do and trying to delve into Hussie's psyche. As it stands, the addition of this recap makes certain elements of the walkaround mandatory experiences for the reader to progress, as opposed to the walkaround itself which can be ended without experiencing anything. I'll leave the discussion by reiterating the second part of the quoted text:

This may or may not mean anything to you depending on your current perspective.

And I think it's safe to say our "current perspective" is much different than those who read this first.

[tisfan]

Lost Boys and Girls

Square: T5 - lost their powers Warning: fairies, magic, alternate history, dad!Tony Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange Summary: The queen of the fairies wants to meet Iron Man. Why does this sound like a really bad idea? Word Count: 1690 Link: A03 For the @tonystarkbingo

A/n I’m totally blaming @monobuu for this...

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Uh, no?” Stephen rubbed absently at his wrist, like his fingers were aching.

“You want me, me, Iron Man, me,” Tony said, thumping his chest a few times to make his point better known, “to, and I quote, strip down all tech, and walk unarmed into what, exactly, did you say?”

“A court of faeries,” Stephen repeated. “It’s the summer court, if that helps any.”

“It does not help any, how does it help any, you do know that the arc reactor is the thing keeping a buttload of shrapnel from reaching my heart, right?”

“The Summer Queen has promised you safe passage,” Stephen said.

“Does she understand that I will die if--”

“The land of the Fey will keep you alive, until you return,” Stephen said. “I have it on good authority.”

“Whose, exactly?”

“Titania’s,” Stephen said. “She’s the queen of the summerlands, and more powerful than you can comprehend. Offending her, under these circumstances…”

“I want to know exactly how these circumstances ended up with my having to walk naked through fairyland. That sounds like a bad porno, Stephen. I don’t like that it sounds like a bad porno, I want good quality porn, with active consent and --”

“I don’t know the circumstances,” Stephen said. “That’s why we have to go to Titania’s court in the first place. To find out.”

“I love how you’re the one who has a magical fairy dust curse put on you, and I’m the one who has to go bargain on your behalf, with a magical fairy dust princess--”

“--queen--”

“Princess,” Tony said again, loftily, “to get it removed. How did that happen, Stephen, tell me that part, if you can’t explain the rest of it.”

(more below the cut)

“Part of the etiquette of the fairy court is stating your important connections,” Stephen said. “Name-dropping, if you will, to impress on the fairy you’re dealing with that you are, in fact, a person worth speaking with. If I didn’t have enough connections to impress, then I wouldn’t get a hearing at all.”

“I have a reputation, even in the fairy lands?” Tony wondered, scratching absently at his beard.

“Tony,” Stephen said, gently, “you wielded the infinity gauntlet and brought half the universe back from oblivion. Including Titania’s husband, Oberon. You’re quite literally the best known person alive in the universe. In any multitude of universes.”

“That’s… unhealthy for my ego,” Tony said. “I prefer just being the guy who did what needed to be done. And I don’t have the gauntlet anymore, I destroyed it.” He had wanted to destroy the stones, too, but they were too powerful for that. The best he could have done in those circumstances, he did. Returning them to vastly well-protected hiding places.

Even now, years later, he could feel the one in Stephen’s necklace, the time stone, and the way it called to him.

He couldn’t be trusted with that power. Not for long, and he knew it.

“She wants to thank you, and in exchange for your notice, she’s agreed to aid me with my… issue.”

“Your issue where your skin changes colors with the season and I might add, you’re growing leaves out of your hair.”

“More than likely, I accidentally annoyed a dryad, but as I cannot cure myself, I need to know to whom I owe amends. Will you please assist?”

“If the alternative is that my boyfriend turns into a tree, yes, I’ll help. I just don’t like these conditions.”

“I know,” Stephen said. “But I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“I’m comforted,” Tony said, as dryly as he could manage. Even if it was true, he didn’t need to scrape his face raw and present his sincerity to the world.

Tony pressed his hand over the arc reactor, feeling the dull ache where his sternum used to be. “All right, open up,” Tony told the suit. He slid his shirt up, twisted the reactor and removed it from its casing.

The pain was… well, he’d had worse. But not lots worse. His heart stuttered and slammed around in his ribcage like it was trying to escape. He gave the reactor core over to the suit and let it close up, sealing itself around the precious device.

“Come on--” Stephen held out his hand. Tony took it, and they stepped over the circle of mushrooms, from reality, to somewhere else.

It was cold, for somewhere called the Summer Lands. Like the day after an ice storm. Everything was bright and sunny, even if he couldn’t see the sun, but also frozen.

Flowers in bloom were encased in ice. Fruits were perfect glass globes. There was at least a foot of snow on the ground, and the crust of ice didn’t break beneath their feet.

Tony took a deep breath, and then another, before he realized that he wasn’t in pain. That nothing hurt, at all. He stared.

“We’re frozen in time,” Stephen said. “Like everything else here. The shrapnel won’t reach your heart, because no time at all will actually pass.”

“Magic sucks,” Tony said.

“That’s not what you said last night,” Stephen joked.

“Great one,” a voice said, and Tony had to turn all the way around before he saw the speck of light that addressed them.

If a lense flare could come to life, that was what Tony was looking at. A tiny little… person that existed inside a ball of light. That flew. And talked, apparently.

“If you’ll come this way, the Queen awaits.”

“After you,” Tony said, waving dramatically.

“At the same time as me,” the JJ Abrams special effects critter said. “Or you’ll be left behind.”

“Right,” Tony said. He wiggled his eyebrows, trying to express exasperation without actually expressing it.

He expected to be lead to a castle. An ice palace might have been nifty, and in keeping with the setting.

Instead, the little creature -- Tony couldn’t tell if it was a boy, or a girl, or even if it mattered at all -- lead them to what appeared to be a grove in the woods. Inside, the air was warm, the grass was green, and the trees were moving in the slight breeze. A girl sat there, in the grass, with red hair and a smart, watchful expression. She was playing with a puzzle, a dozen moving parts, and she changed it from a ball to a cage to a jacob’s ladder with seeming ease.

A woman, barely older than the girl, stood at their arrival.

She was beautiful. And deadly.

“Iron Man,” she said, and her voice was like singing crystal. “Welcome to the Summer lands.”

“A bit cold for that, but thanks,” Tony said.

“Ixnay on the arcasm-say,” Stephen muttered.

“And the good doctor, welcome.”

“I’m honored, your Majesty.”

“Quite the lover’s bond between you,” she said, and she reached out one long fingered hand -- Tony thought she had an extra joint in each finger, but she still looked graceful, perfect. Like his hand was the one deficient -- to touch something. Tony couldn’t see what she touched, but it played havoc with his feelings. He remembered everything, from that first moment when Stephen appeared, to the moment where Stephen promised the Time Stone in exchange for Tony. To the moment when Stephen returned and fell, weeping, into Tony’s embrace. And all the moments after, and the ones in between.

He looked at his lover with fresh eyes, seeing everything, everything between them, as the Queen must be seeing it, in that exact instant.

“You truly love him,” she murmured. “And he truly loves you.”

“It’s a chance not one in a thousand couples get, no matter what the storybooks say,” Tony said, unable to stop his mouth before it smarted off again.

“I like you, Tony Stark,” the Queen said.

“That’s good, I think,” Tony said.

“For the moment,” she said. “But I’ll warn you, I collect the things I like.. Falter in your devotion, and I may take it upon myself to claim you.”

“Not a chance, lady. You’re beautiful, and all that, but, Stephen is all I’m ever going to need,” Tony responded.

“Here, perhaps,” she said. “And now. In this world. But there are infinite worlds, as you well know. So, I will give you a gift.”

“I was told it was unwise to accept gifts, without something of equal value to exchange,” Tony said.

“Perhaps,” the Queen said. “But this is not mine to give you. She was entrusted to me in a universe that died. A last minute plea, from another Tony Stark, in another where, another when, who loved someone else. Morgan, darling?”

The woman held out her hand and the girl got up and came to her. “Yes, your Majesty?” She had a soft, reedy voice, and her eyes were deep brown and full of intelligence.

“This is Tony Stark,” the Queen said. “Tony Stark, this is the child of your counterpart, in a universe that no longer exists. She has no family, no friends, even the very molecules that formed her solar system are gone. She is truly, one of the orphans. And in that universe, the person that Tony Stark loved the most… was Pepper Potts. Morgan is their child.”

Tony looked down into a pair of eyes that were almost identical to his own.

“I cannot repay the Tony Stark of that universe for the favor he did me,” the Queen said, “but I can protect his child, and I can let her go into the hands of those that will love her, and cherish her. If you will accept this burden, I will consult with the good Doctor on the nature of the curse he is under.”

Morgan let go of the fairy queen’s hand and held out those tiny fingers to him. “Are you my daddy?”

Tony dropped to one knee, studying the child. In his world, Pepper had married Happy Hogan, had suffered through several miscarriages, and finally ended up adopting. She’d dated Tony briefly, but it hadn’t worked out.

Tony had never considered being a father.

But he saw that child, that little soul…

“I am now.”

[madhu2244-blog]

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[bewareofchris]

@chamiryokuroi, i have so many feelings and so few of them are good that i almost don’t want to go into it on the internet.  but,

(This turned into a dissertation) OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE INFINITY WAR SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT.

first off let me say that I walked into this movie with the expectation that marvel was going to behave in a predictable marvel way.  and what exactly is a predictably marvel way to act?

Cap is the Hero, Tony tries but fails, Thor can’t understand that reference but he’s super powerful, for reasons unknown powers that worked yesterday fail today, a critical part of the plot hinges upon a relationship or a decision that the audience hasn’t had enough time to form a bond with and so the critical emotional peak of the movie falls flat

so what happened in Infinity War?

Lets get started by saying that I don’t honestly care if Loki dies, but I am 100% disappointed that he didn’t have a better plan, more action or a real shot at doing anything.  I mean.  This little shit is basically a cockroach that’s been alive forever and he’s done all kinds of shit in that time but the BEST IDEA he had was to try to stab Thanos right in his stupid face?  

I see that the Bifrost works however it wants now.  Good to know.  

WOULD YOU FUCKING MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND ABOUT TONY FUCKING STARK’S GLOWING FUCKING CHEST MY DUDE.

Look, I don’t think its a leap for Tony to wear nanobots and a hoodie that turns into a suit.  I think that’s 100% in character, but Marvel you’re a bunch of morons that took the shiny thing out of Tony’s chest several movies ago you can’t just show up now and act like that didn’t happen because he looks better with it.  This is like 0% relative and 100% nitpicky but it’s part of a greater Marvel Realized That Was Silly So They Changed It and Acted LIke We Wouldn’t Notice issue.

Bruce exists in this movie basically as a cheap joke and a town crier.  THANOS IS COMING, THANOS IS COMING.  Its like someone in the group writer meeting was like: dude, the Hulk is too much.  We’ve literally seen the Hulk take on everything.  We’ve established he’s undefeatable.  We can’t go back now.  How are we going to deal with the Hulk being a thing?  And the guy sitting next to him, balancing a pencil on his nose was like IDK what if we just like, inexplicably and for no reason we ever need to explain, make the Hulk not show up?  What if the Hulk gets hurt or scared by Thanos?  And he doesn’t show up?  OH DUDE then Bruce can use an Iron Man suit and we’ll do the trailers and make it look like the whole group is there!  

You know else is too fucking powerful to let loose too early in the movie?  Thor.  You know they did this in Age of Ultron too, they were like: lets give him a vision of Ragnorok and send him to a sparkle pool to take his shirt off and see things, so he could not be present when Cap was fighting Ultron.  Here they send him off with a Rabbit (this genuinely amused me no lie) and Groot.  And Thor speaks Groot.  A language he learned in high school.  He’s 1500 years old.  How does he remember high school Groot?  but that’s not important, what is important is that he’s off on a side quest waking up some dead star to forge some Thanos-killing weapon because as we see in the final battle as soon as Thor shows up looking hella fine, the show is basically over.

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF STEVE GOD DAMN ROGERS.  Look, I understand that its upsetting when someone randomly suggests that killing themselves is the only way to save the planet but Rogers, if you aren’t the single most annoying hypocrite that ever walked the earth.  (At least the movie did point this out.  At least it did that.)  “We don’t trade lives?”  FUCK YOU STEVE.  It was ONE FUCKING LIFE versus HALF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE.  Everyone can do that math.  One Life < Half the Universe.  SEE, THE OPEN MOUTH GOES TOWARD TEH BIGGER NUMBER YOU SANCTIMONIOUS FUCK.

Honestly, Steve at the end, collapsing as he said ‘oh God’ is the only part of the entire MCU wherein Steve seems to sort of grasp that just because he wants the world to work a certain way doesn’t mean it will.  I hate to be a petty bitch but I’m 100% okay with everyone dying because at least Captain Fucking Rogers was wrong AND THE STORY CANNOT DENY IT.

This is going out of order, I’m sorry.

Lets talk about Thanos.  I actually liked Thanos.  I bear him no ill will.  He’s completely insane, but he’s doing what he thinks must be done for the greater good.  (*COUGH* THE SAFEST HANDS ARE STILL OUR OWN */COUGH*)  He is consistently insane which is nice.

but honestly.  I mean, honestly, if this bastard was this set on doing this shit and this capable of it, why the fuck didn’t he show up earlier?  Was it because he didn’t know where all the stones were?  I feel like it’s been a couple of movies now that he should have known where most of them were?  Why not collect them one at a time?  Why not send out his assortment of assassins to collect them individually?  He could have gotten all of the not-earth stones and then shown up to the party like HAHA BITCHES GUESS WHO THE FUCK I AM and 0 people would have known.

but this way is good too.  I guess.

This plot hinges entire on a string of inconveniences.  If not for bad timing, this series of events would not have unfolded in this way.  I try not to get bitchy about conveniences because things happen in real life that would seem a lot like the cosmic writer whose dictating our lives never took a writing class, BUT if it progresses your story and makes things easier for you (the writer) to accomplish what the plot (and not necessarily the characters) needs/wants to happen next it’s lazy.

The iris mechanism breaking?

Thanos having already found the reality stone?

Gamora secretly being the only thing he loves?

Nebula only escaping after it’s too late?

Cap’s abilities being literally ‘whatever the story needs, is he mortal, is he not?’

Bruce and Hulk’s domestic issue

Dr. Strange apparently being able to not only tolerate 14 million alternate futures but also remember them with enough confidence to make decisions for everyone without consulting them

Everything that happened when Quill found out about Gamora

The end part where the axe to the chest didn’t stop Thanos

the convenient core-member survival of the Avengers

I truly believe in my heart that Marvel decided to kill Black Panther before they realized how popular that movie and character would be and fuck them.  

While we’re at it.  Fuck them for that whole thing.  Like I get that T’Challa was leading his people, but the movie is framed in a way where he’s kind of an afterthought?  

They definitely underestimated him, that’s all I’m saying.  And Shuri.

THEY MISUSED THEM.  THEY DID NOT TREAT THEM FAIRLY.

Look, I love Tony and I”m super happy that the MCU finally, finally stopped treating him like he was insane.  Don’t get me wrong here, having Thanos show up and having Tony be like I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS is great.

What’s not great?  Is the fact that Tony who literally has been waiting for this this whole time suddenly had very little back up plan?  He had enough time to send Peter Parker a suit but he didn’t have a trove of alternate suits, or weapons, or anything that he could have sent along with it?  I know he had a few minutes to think but ALIENS ARE INVADING IS LITERALLY THE THING HE’S BEEN FRETTING ABOUT SINCE AVENGERS 1.

I’m just saying, they could have had him be slightly more prepared.  

Having said that, Tony was amazing.  

One of the best parts of the movie is that twenty seconds where it looks like he’s having a stroke when he realizes he’s working with idiots.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LET THEM GET THE GAUNTLET OFF IF YOU WERE JUST GOING TO HAVE QUILL FREAK OUT?

No I’ll tell you.  Because it’s Marvel.  

Honestly that fight V. Thanos in space was amazing.  10/10.  Until Quill.

I have never been more furious about anything in my life than I was about Thanos trying to smash Steve Rogers into the ground and being unable to.  Like, even his face seemed to be conveying some kind of ‘what is this bullshit happening before me’ 

(IS HE MORTAL?  IS HE NOT?)

I also hated Steve’s shields, but I appreciate that they went with a pointy design so that he could more directly murder his helpless victims in combat.  Someone needs to introduce Steve to Jeff Goldblum because I feel like he’d either invite Cap to join the harem or the gladiators or both and it would be glorious either way.

Gamora’s death shouldn’t have won the soul stone because Thanos is a piece of shit.  He’s nuts.  The Soul Stone should have just thrown her back up there while laughing hysterically something like “AHAHAHA MY MAN, YOU’RE A PSYCHO, HAHAHA, YOU DON’T LOVE ANYTHING.”

That moment when you realize that if even one thing had changed in this movie the entire sequence of events would collapse.  That moment.

Also, how the living fuck did Tony live through getting impaled?  How?  HOW.

Dr. Strange: LET TONY LIVE Thanos: like, aren’t you a medical doctor? Dr. Strange: yes, but that’s not important Thanos: I’m not a medical doctor, like I’m just a crazy man, but he is definitely definitely dead. Dr. Strange: ok, yes, but. Thanos: no wait, I’m just--you’re really going to give up the time stone, a stone that as of this moment is basically impossible to get off you, just because you want Tony to live?  He’s definitely going to die.  I stuck this whole sharp thing through him. Dr. Strange: I KNOW IT SEEMS UNLIKELY BUT ROBERT DOWNEY JR SELLS MOVIES, OK.  HE’S ADORABLE. Thanos:  ...whatever dude.  Give me the green glowy thing

NO HUMAN BEING CAN COMPREHEND 14 MILLION ANYTHINGS.   This isn’t a number people can relate to.  It’s meaningless.  Why do all these movies have to overact?  Lets blow up a whole planet, lets kill half the universe, lets act like a human mind can comprehend 14 million alternate timelines

The fanservice in this movie was incredible.  Like, I’m now convinced there’s a whole team of interns at Marvel scouring the internet for more jokes.  

“Hey boss, they seem to think Rocket trying to steal Bucky’s arm would be hilarious.  So should we do that?” “GREG MY BOY WHAT A FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC IDEA.”

I loved Tony’s whole outfit.  I loved the nano bots.  I even loved at the end when he was running out and he had to redistribute them.  It was amazing

“Home” says Steve Fucking Rogers, the international war criminal that was like ‘but he’s my friend’.  BITCH THAT ISN’T YOUR HOME.

I’m actually 100% furious just at the fact that Rhodey who supported the accords immediately didn’t give one fuck about them as soon as it was convenient to want to be on Cap’s side instead.  I’m FURIOUS that the Accords didn’t matter.  They never did, but the fact that Rhodey was the last man standing that believed in them and he handwaved that shit away as soon as he laid eyes on Steve’s gruff unshaven face, its just like getting kicked in the nuts.

I just looked it up apparently Black Panther and Infinity War were filmed back to back which meant that Marvel had 0 idea how well Black Panther would do in theaters and honestly that must have been why they were like “ah yes you guys remember T’Challa?  Well. basically he just gives Steve some shields and that’s fucking it.”

(I know he did more than that, but he was still treated like a convenient secondary character who had convenient abilities, like Groot who couldn’t be bothered to do anything until someone needed an axe handle.)

C O M M U N I C A T I O N.  It really could have solved so many things. Dr. Strange: 14 million alternate futures Tony: cool.  how many did we win? Dr. Strange: 1. Tony: wait what?  TELL ME EXACTLY WHO DID WHAT Dr. Strange: I’m sorry I can’t just tell you the plot I’m not Mark Ruffalo.

Peter Parker did break my heart.

this is just personal preference but since I don’t find Chris Pratt funny at all, basically all the minutes that were put into his character were wasted on me

This movie cannot stand on it’s own.  That’s not a negative.  You don’t go see a movie like Infinity Wars if you haven’t already spent the last decade on the others leading up to it.  

but, my dudes, you did not set up Wanda/Vision well enough.  And so much emphasis was put on this.  SO MUCH.  She’ll have to destroy him, it’ll have to be her.  Ok.  Cool.  So lets get to it.

I may be heartless.

Gamora crying when she though she’d killed Thanos felt more authentic than Wanda’s entire crisis about Vision.

But, hey, I’m sure in the next one they’ll do something stupid as fuck that’ll make the emotional punch of this movie completely fucking worthless.