#conversations with my dad

[girl-in-the-library]

John Oliver on Andy Cohen last night: there's a nonzero chance Kate Middleton is dead

My dad: That's a misunderstanding of probability. Because there is someone who knows where she is and what's going on, it's not a quantum event

Me, nodding: There's no Schrodinger's Kate Middleton

[moonysfavoritetoast]

my dad, pulling a small bottle of monster out of his cabinet: guess what this one is

me: squared! cubed!!

my dad: cubed!

my dad: this stuff’ll make hair grow on yo chest!

my dad: it’ll make you a man!

me: give it to me! i wanna drink it! can i drink it?!

my dad: i got this when you were born… i wasn’t even brave enough to drink it.

[maelstromdeparture]

conversations with my dad

dad: "you know i was really shocked at how well barbie did. when i saw the news about it i really thought 'well they all just washed their careers down the drain' and it's been the biggest movie of the summer"

me looking up from texting friend baffled to hear this coming from him: "i knew it was going to do so well. do you know how many generations of women have grown up with barbie? yeah sure people of all kinds hate her, but we all grew up with her. and she was everything. barbie's been an inspiration from the very beginning. there is an absolutely astounding number of women that love her. of course it was going to be a hit. besides it's a really good movie"

it should be noted that my dad is in no way a barbie hater. he is a girl dad to the t, knows all the princess names, painted nails, will complete princess diaries quotes when you say them jokingly. yeah he has a son and is a boy dad too but this man raised two girls and never let that stop him from spending time with us.

he was just stunned that something that looks like it should be a goofy little kids movie did so well. because he had little girls that grew up with barbie and loved barbie, but he didn't grow up with barbie and can't understand. but 24 years later he's still very much a girl dad, let me dress him in pink and drag him to the movie with me and mom and even had fun.

[worstlovesong]

Conversations with my dad: sunburns and homophobia

[dequince]

“They don’t think New Orleans is ah real place”

[lost-onpurpose]

Me: I'm nervous about my trip.

My dad: And you thought you could move across the country for college...

Me: I was a different person then.

My dad: What do you mean?

Me: The bad in the world hadn't affected me then. I wasn't scared of anything.

My dad: Oh... I'm sorry baby. You know if you get up there and need anything I'll get there as fast as I can.

[panrao]

Spoilers, it's dysphoria

[illiaccrest]

So, I was reading a discussion between CN star rail players about how Aventurine's design is supposed to read less like "campy gay" and more like a big money business tycoon/gang boss, and I though that was so funny because on the same day I read that my dad came by while I was playing, pointed at Aventurine on the TV and said "is that a Yakuza game?"

Anyway here's business daddy Aventurine and crime mommy Stelle gonna have a nice dinner and then go bash Oswaldo's head in.

[morganbritton132]

Steve: A group of a crows is called a murder and a group of ferrets is called a business. What’s a group of cows called?

Eddie: Herd of cows

Steve: Yeah, I’ve heard of them but what is a bunch of them called?

Eddie: *loud silence*

[skunkes]

[clay-pidgeon]

a lot of ppl would benefit from considering for a second that children like, entirely depend on their parents. the vast majority of the time children Cannot Leave. whether a parent is consistently abusive or just in isolated cases of minor conflict or anything, when youre a child and your parent is fighting against you (even over something that seems small) that can be your entire support system turning against you. but yeah no the 15 year old that refuses to come down for dinner and isnt allowed to buy a lock for their door is being a brat sure fine whatever

[sualne]

(wip) a comic about a haircut im procrastinating

[moonysfavoritetoast]

My dad: ya want some tinned eggs?

Me: no

My dad: how about…. smirks a potato

Me: POTATOOOO!!!!

[lady-harrowhark]

do you suppose john asked kiriona if she and ianthe were being safe too? or is that concern reserved for harrow?

[worstlovesong]

Conversations with my dad: green bones?

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Alastor: Did it hurt?

Lucifer: *rolls eyes* Let me guess, when I fell from heaven.

Alastor: Noooooo

Lucifer: *raises eyebrow*

Alastor: *grins wider* Did it hurt when you fell for me?