#convinced Crowley fell to save humanity with Aziraphale in the end

[bookdrgn99]

Neil mentioned that Crowley isn't the most reliable narrator for his fall. And I really want to see the actual story in season three because, IMO, the Crowley we've known doesn't seem to have actually merited falling. So what really did happen?

Also, the three season two flashbacks had goofs and odd moments that, to me, reek of Aziraphale's own unreliable narrator moments. Some obvious enough to stand out when usually they're so dedicated to detail. I'm so curious to see if anything to do with that plays out, even minor call outs.

[twilightcitysky]

Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 1)

I cannot figure out for the life of me how to make gifs so this will have to be a gif-less essay. If anyone more tech savvy than me wants to reblog with relevant media, please do!

I've seen a lot of people saying how Aziraphale's actions in the final ten minutes come out of left field and are OOC, and when I first watched the episode I felt the same, but now I think I couldn't have been more wrong. And I don't think Aziraphale is being controlled... I think the entire season showed us exactly what was going to happen.

On first watch, what struck me was the number of plot points that seemed disconnected. I couldn't figure out how Job related to the present, or the Victorian era, or the Nazi zombies (still at sea on the zombies part tbh). I didn't know where the Maggie/ Nina subplot was going, or why we were bothering with it. Then I put my "psych hat" on and it was like seeing one of those 3D pictures come into focus. It's a psychological networking rather than a plot-driven one, which is what Neil told us to expect.

Detailed analysis under the cut, with spoilers:

I went back through the season in my head and started asking myself: why is this element there? What does it contribute?

1. Start with scene one. Why include it? Does it matter for the climax that Az knew Crowley as an angel? YES. It's actually huge. Angel Crowley was joyful, he was bursting with delight at creation, he was idealistic. He wanted to be a part of everything rather than run away from it, and that's still how Aziraphale feels. He loves being a part of things. He's a joiner. He's a landlord. He dances at clubs and he makes human friends and he learns magic. Crowley the demon doesn't seem to want any of that, and I think that's hard for Az. He wants Crowley to be free of the cynicism he thinks prevents him from enjoying life now. At some level, I think he senses that Crowley is depressed (empathy's not his strong suit but I'm sure he's aware that Crowley's in a "what's the point of it all" kind of mood; see the eccles cakes scene). He wants to fix it. Aziraphale is a fixer. Metatron offers him a chance to do that.

Another thing is that Aziraphale knows Crowley ended up Falling just for asking questions that seemed innocent. That's not okay with him. He thinks that with the two of them in charge they can actually MAKE the changes that Crowley wanted to see way back at the beginning, starting with a suggestion box.

2. Okay, now Jim. Obviously Gabriel/ Jim is the central mystery, but why does he matter? First and foremost: he's there to show Aziraphale that angels can CHANGE. Gabriel terrorized and threatened Aziraphale. Az has been terrified of him. He ordered Aziraphale's execution. And now here he is, drinking hot chocolate, doing noble self-sacrificing things, with morals that suddenly align with Aziraphale's. What an absolute game-changer that must have been! He thought Heaven was unfixable, but here's Gabriel in his shop for weeks, slowly convincing him otherwise.

Then two other things happen. First, they find out that this all happened to Gabriel essentially because he fell in love. He was fired and his memories were stolen and the only reason he recovered was because Beelzebub happened to give him the one thing that could save him. That must have seemed like incredible luck. Now, how does Aziraphale feel about memories? He lives in a bookshop that is stuffed to bursting with the records of all of human history, essentially. His memories of his time with Crowley are incredibly precious. He sees, there at the end, that everything he is can be taken from him as a punishment for falling in love. Aziraphale doesn't have a magic fly container. He'd be forever robbed of Crowley, his life, himself. It's a very real threat in his mind when Metatron intervenes.

Which brings us to the second thing. Metatron saves Gabriel. Not only that, he prevents him from being punished for loving Beelzebub and lets them both go. What better way to win currency with Aziraphale? HE doesn't want to go off to Alpha Centauri, he never has, but suddenly he sees that Metatron might protect his relationship. And he's probably the only entity with the power to do so.

So we come to two conclusions: Aziraphale, when he goes off to talk with Metatron, is feeling like maybe it's not intrinsically bad to be an angel. He believed all the angels sucked, and only God was good... but now he sees that even Gabriel can change. He met Muriel, and he likes them. (He also had a huge crush on angel Crowley, which is neither here nor there but he loves Crowley in all his forms.) So if Crowley became an angel again, would that really be so bad? In his mind, it wouldn't change who Crowley is. It would just make them both safer and allow them to be together. (He's wrong! And Crowley doesn't see it that way! But this is a key miscommunication. Aziraphale doesn't really believe that becoming a demon changed Crowley. Back to the first scene, which Aziraphale references during the Job minisode. In his eyes, Crowley is the same person (just more cynical because of what's happened to him)-- so why would it matter if he's an angel again? I truly don't think he was trying to save Crowley, or saying that Crowley would be Better as an angel. To him, it doesn't matter what Crowley is. Which is reductive and harmful, but not the same as thinking Crowley needs rescuing from himself.)

Second conclusion: he sees that an angel and demon can be in love, but they have to run away to be together. Gabe and Beelz couldn't go home again. Earth is Aziraphale's home, but after the attack on the bookshop he learned that without Heaven's protection he can't really keep them safe there. Metatron says: "Come with me, do this thing, and you can have guaranteed safety AND be with the love of your life". Poor Aziraphale wants this with every fiber of his being. All he's ever wanted was for Crowley to be safe. He's never been able to offer it. Over the past four years, he thought they were safe, but he's just learned that he was wrong.

This is getting long. Continued in Part Two!

[aziraphales-library]

Hello and big thanks for your work! I was wondering if you know some fics where Aziraphale protects/saves Crowley from trouble. I'm not talking about bamf!Aziraphale tho. More like clever Aziraphale, sneaky Aziraphale, maybe even doing-something-shady-and-manipulative Aziraphale. But mostly clever :) I think something like oopsie!omens (where Aziraphale took the fall instead Crowley and successfully hiding it for thousands years) or You Never Had A Heart by HotCrossPigeon where Aziraphale put himself in trap to put a show for Hastur, or just like his trick in 1941? But if it's too narrow, any good protective Aziraphale will do. Thanks in advance!

Hi! Here are some fics in which Aziraphale helps/rescues Crowley by being clever...

You Can't Un-See a Dog by HolyCatsAndRabbits (T)

A couple of humans summon the demon Crowley to be a sacrifice. Aziraphale is not amused. Actually, wait, he's very amused.

The Enlightened Fraternity of the Serpentine Demon by The_Bentley (T)

A secret society moves in down the street from the bookshop and shows a particular interest in Crowley. They don’t appear to be very competent at first glance, but Crowley feels better poking around to see what they’re up to, just in case. When he fails to return from his investigations, it’s up to Aziraphale to rescue his demon from the group’s clutches before they end up doing something they’ll regret.

Binding by Icka M Chif (T)

“That’s the tether.” Aziraphale pointed to one circle, then back at the other. “That’s the anchor. If I’m bound to Earth, and you’re bound to me… Then Hell can’t take you back."

the many-venomed earth by curtaincall (T)

It’s the trial of the century: bestselling mystery author Anthony Crowley stands accused of poisoning his former lover. He’s got means (arsenic), motive (the breakup), and opportunity (a meeting the night of the murder); his guilt seems certain. Certain, that is, to everyone except Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, rare book collector and amateur detective. Aziraphale’s not sure why he’s so convinced of Crowley’s innocence, but he’s determined to save him from the gallows--by finding the real murderer before it’s too late.

A Business Arrangement by CopperBeech (E)

Aziraphale Fell works for the family business, Archangel Security, which is still struggling to find its niche. Doing what his strait-laced, class-conscious family expects has helped him ignore the problem of his sexuality right into middle age, but he’s decided it’s time. For Anthony Crowley, sexuality isn’t a problem. It’s a slush fund that he could always tap into when he couldn’t pick up enough shifts to pay the bills, or wanted something nice (a profitable strategy for someone who’s always been able to do weird things with his tongue). But for the past couple of years he hasn’t had options. At least business doesn’t affect his personal life, because so far, he’s never had much of one. It’s about to get complicated.

So Much Discounted by WanderingAlice (T)

After asking Aziraphale a strange question, Crowley disappears. Can Aziraphale work out what happened to him? And more importantly, can he save him before it's too late? --- “No.” Aziraphale sat up, throwing his senses wide, searching, seeking, all the way to the edges of the world. “Crowley!” His frantic cry, amplified by his angelic power, rippled through the minds of every being with even the slightest occult sensitivity. Miles away, Anathema sat up in bed, and reached in panic for her lover when she felt the new absence in the world. Down the street from Jasmine Cottage, Adam Young tumbled from his covers, reaching out himself with what remained of his power. What he found was so terrible he fled from it, running to climb into bed with his parents like he hadn’t since he’d been very small. “No,” the angel said again, his voice small and lost amid the stacks of lonely books. “No.” He pushed himself up with trembling hands, climbed to his feet, and didn’t stop running until he stood outside the door to Crowley’s Mayfair flat.

- Mod D

[addledmongoose]

Good Omens Fanfic Friday (16 Aug 2024)

The Crawly Chronicles (series) (179K; Rated M/T/E) by @theladydrgn and @sylwritesstuff

Human AU (sorta). It's Venom...but Good Omens, and written by my favorite writing duo, ladydragona and SylWritesStuff. Aziraphale is the intrepid but stepped-upon reporter. Crowley is the alien symbiote (called Crawly) who attaches to him. The M-rating in the first story is due to quite a bit of violence (within the canon of the movies).

"Crawly" is the first of the four-part series and while this particular story is friendship-only, Aziraphale is starting to have some feelings for his symbiote. It stays platonic; it's only when you get to the sequel that things take a turn for the E-rated. You can read the first one as a standalone if you're not interest in the romance/sex angle.

When Aziraphale Fell, reporter for The Daily Messenger, is tasked with a simple story on smuggling, he isn't expecting to find out that Lightbringer, Inc. has been experimenting on something that could be an animal, an oil slick, or something else entirely.

He especially isn't expecting that being to come home with him and change his entire life.

***

The Mind, the Memory, and the Demon (64K; Rated T)

This was so gorgeous and romantic, even as it was wrapped up in a horror story. Their love leaps off the page.

After the Armageddon-that-wasn't, Crowley has found himself a new hobby: scaring ghost hunters, sowing mild discord, harmless fun.

But when an old castle turns out to be an actual demon's lair, and a new Principality seeks Aziraphale for advice on humanity, things start escalating rapidly. An ancient demon is a threat they weren't prepared to face, and eventually the only chance to save a certain former Guard of the Eastern Gate is to literally dive into his mind and traverse his memories from times past...

***

Lost and Found (32K; Rated E) by @southernfriedamy

Human AU. Another quality human AU by MissUnderstoodLyrics. I love how competent and confident Aziraphale is here.

Former FBI agent turned park ranger Aziraphale Eastgate thought he’d found solace in the quiet forest that was once his childhood refuge. But his peace is shattered when his long-lost friend Crowley reappears after fifteen years, dragging him back into a world he thought he’d left behind.

Now a rock star entangled in the dark underworld of the music industry, Crowley seeks Aziraphale’s help to expose the corruption threatening his life. He claims he's being framed, but can he convince his former best friend and one-time lover of his innocence? Their complicated history looms large, casting shadows of doubt on both of them.

Joined by fierce and dedicated journalist Ana, tech-savvy hacker Newt, and junior park ranger Muriel, the group races to uncover the truth before it destroys them all. As they delve deeper into the conspiracy, Crowley and Aziraphale must confront their past and decide if they can ever truly trust each other again.

***

The Voice of the Lion Was Heard in the Land (22K; Rated T)

Human AU. Az and Tony are voice actors on a popular children's show until a homophobic campaign destroys Tony's career. This one made me cry a little, though it does have a happy ending.

[madbard]

When season 1 of Good Omens came out, I remember there was a lot of discussion about the exact moment Aziraphale and Crowley fell for each other. The consensus I usually saw was that Crowley fell in love with Aziraphale when the angel revealed that he had given away his flaming sword, and Aziraphale fell in love (or, more aptly, realized he was in love) with Crowley during the Second World War, after Crowley saved his books from a bombing.

The second season challenges this, with rather interesting results.

In the first few minutes of this season, we are flung further back in time than ever before - just a few minutes before the Beginning. Here, we see the true first meeting between Crowley and Aziraphale, back when they were both angels. Crowley is blissful, gazing at the newly created galaxies with sheer wonder and adoration. Aziraphale’s expression betrays similar emotions - but his gaze is not directed at the galaxies. Instead, he glances nervously at his fellow angel, entranced by this bold, brilliant stranger.

When they meet again on Earth, it isn’t clear whether Aziraphale recognizes Crowley as the angel he met before the Beginning. Personally, I think he did - and that casts his actions in quite a different light.

Imagine being sent down to Earth with the expectation that you will be a paragon of virtue. God’s representative in Earth, a being of absolute goodness and purity. Flawless. Devoted. Divine.

You arrive on this young planet, before a young couple, and you must immediately show them immense cruelty, forcing them to leave the only home they have ever known and brave the surrounding wilderness. It is God’s plan, so of course it must be right… but in that moment, something feels so dreadfully wrong that you make a decision of your own. You give them your holy weapon. Afterwards, you stand on the garden wall, looking out over the wilderness, anxiously watching the first humans as they make their way East. You hear a voice. You turn. And that is when you see that gorgeous angel you fell for in the dazzling light of countless galaxies, only moments, perhaps, before he fell as well - though in a very different way. He doesn’t seem to recognize you - why would he? You only talked for a moment, and he was too distracted by the newborn sky to take much notice of anyone. But you recognize him. You remember how he made you feel. And this terrifies you.

I propose that Aziraphale did not, in fact, take thousands of years to fall in love with a demon. He spent thousands of years in love with an angel. And it didn’t matter how much he tried to deny it, how hard he fought. With each passing century he fell deeper and deeper in love with that being of light, that angel surrounded by the stars. With each passing century he became more and more convinced that, deep down, that angel was still there, scorched by hellfire but alive, nonetheless.

And then, he was given the chance to save that angel, the angel he fell in love with. He was given the chance to lead that angel back to heaven, to love him freely, to finally bring his suffering to an end. And when he saw that fallen angel again, he immediately shared that joyful news.

That is when Crowley looked back and, in a single moment, confirmed that Aziraphale was wrong. The angel Aziraphale had fallen in love was dead. He had been dead for six thousand years.

[inkubann]

My GO 2 Headcannons:

I miss fun and silly hcs tbh

- Crowley got a tongue piercing in the 80s and hated it. He only kept it in when Aziraphale finally noticed and kept getting caught staring at it

- Crowley used to smoke in front of the bookshop but was chided not to by Aziraphale as it “set a bad example”. Crowley now doesn’t smoke as often. Aziraphale, meanwhile, smokes often, but behind the bookshop. (In reference to the GO New Year’s Resolutions)

- There are multiple articles of clothing in the bookshop that belong to Crowley from over the years. Aziraphale keeps them just in case.

- Aziraphale likes when Crowley grows out his hair and is devastated every time he cuts it short. It reminds him of when they first met.

-Every time Aziraphale visits a coffee shop by himself, they always spell his name (horrendously) wrong. Sometimes, if Crowley is persuaded to not do the ordering, he’ll miracle Aziraphale’s name correctly on the cups before he notices (it’s always noticed).

-Nina and Maggie used to refer to Crowley as “Mr. Fell’s Partner” before being introduced.

- Crowley has a collection of forgotten records in the book shop. Aziraphale keeps them in pristine condition with the rest of his records, occasionally adding some to the collection for Crowley if he spots any he thinks he’ll like.

- Aziraphale has multiple sketchbooks, many of which the pages are just of Crowley (He would rather discorporate than have Crowley see them). He might even have paintings that are even more well hidden.

- Aziraphale and Crowley got drunk one evening at a ball and had a portrait commissioned of the two of them. Crowley ended up taking it once they sobered up to “hide it”, that being hung in one of the rooms of his flat.

- Aziraphale once accidentally ran into Crowley at a gay bar in soho.

- Crowley has tried to convince Aziraphale to switch to CDs/Cassettes to save space. It never worked.

- Aziraphale owned an Edison Phonograph but had to stop using it because he lost the key to the locking lid. Crowley found the key forever ago and never told him, knowing Aziraphale didn’t want to miracle it open because he would “find it eventually.”

- Aziraphale’s favourite color is yellow because of Crowley’s eyes.

- Crowley doesn’t read much because, much like snakes, he has bad eyesight. (Hence, the Jane Austen bit in S2)

- Aziraphale is actually very physically strong. Crowley not as much.

- Crowley has sharp teeth because he’s a demon. Aziraphale also has pointed teeth as Cherubs are part lion.

- when some of the businesses near the book shop threatened to shutdown during lock down, Aziraphale miracled their bills away. The nearby owners were convinced Aziraphale had mafia affiliations.

-any minor tear or loose thread on Aziraphale’s very old coat/vest will be subtly miracled away by Crowley, hoping it will go unnoticed. Aziraphale always notices.

-Crowley’s corporation will sometimes form freckles during sunny days. Aziraphale might miracle extra sunlight onto him just to see more form. (Crowley is unaware of this)

-Aziraphale, at some point, was a good marksman.

-Muriel accidentally found the false book Aziraphale had hidden his pistol when they took over the shop. They frantically reported this to Crowley when they had the chance, making him smile ever so slightly.

-Aziraphale will often trick Crowley into sitting in a sunnier seat when they’re out in public so he can see Crowley’s eyes through the lenses of his sunglasses.

-much like cats, angels’ eyes will reflect light. This causes any images taken of Aziraphale with the flash to have glowing eyes.

-Aziraphale avoided Crowley in the 70s until he shaved off his moustache

-Crowley has memorized all of the constellations and at some point read up on Astrology which he takes credit for. (He claims it induces mass delusion)

-Crowley claimed to invent coffee tables to inconvenience humans’ shins

[thatskindarough]

Crowley and Optimism (kinda short)

I often see people mention Crowley being characterized as an optimist, and a lot of times they’re referencing Show Crowley. Although I dont think this is entirely inaccurate, I think it would be inaccurate to translate the book’s specific optimist characterization of Crowley onto the show. In fact, the show contradicts this characterization in an incredibly direct way.

This passage here—this is the part I’m interested in. This happens as Crowley is driving to Tadfield just after he’s left the burned down bookshop. There’s a numbered list of all the reasons the situation is hopeless and it ends specifically with the lines:

“7. He might as well find a nice little restaurant and get completely and utterly pissed out of his mind while he waited for the world to end.

8. And yet…

And that was where it all fell apart. Because, underneath it all, Crowley was an optimist.”

And then, fully believing Aziraphale was dead, or at the very least out of commission for the time being, Book Crowley drove to Tadfield to stop the apocolypse anyway.

But what does our Show Crowley do when he thinks his best friend in the whole wide world is dead? Well, he gets pissed at a bar and waits for the world to end.

This tells me two things

1.) Crowley is not as much of an optimist in the show as he is in the book.

2.) Show Crowley is far more dependent on Aziraphale than Book Crowley is.

I believe this decision was made, along with the addition of flashbacks, the bandstand breakup, and breakup pt. 2, to highlight how much closer Crowley and Aziraphale are in the show. That’s not to say Aziraphale and Crowley are not close in the book—they are very close. Just that they’ve developed a dependence in the show I don’t see in the book.

This difference in dependence is also illustrated in how they go about actually stopping the apocalypse. Mainly: Book Crowley does not try to run off to Alpha Centuri with Aziraphale. He only tries to run away when Satan is coming (and it’s not a ‘run off with Aziraphale’ type thing.) Aziraphale in the book convinces Crowley to stay and try to help by saying:

“[…]we shouldn’t let this happen to them […] I mean, when you think about it, we’ve got them into enough trouble as it is. You and me. Over the years. What with one thing and another.”

Book Azirpahale convinces Crowley basically by saying, this is our fault, and we’ve got nothing to loose.

Of course, Show Azirapahle says the iconic:

“Come up with something or — I’ll never talk to you again!”

It could be argued what trigged Show Crowley’s response to stop time and stand up to Satan was in fact Aziraphale’s plea. It was the thought of never talking to Aziraphale again, wherein the book, it was more of a general, yeah, we should probably try to save humanity. We’re gonna die if we don’t, anyway.

Then again, the stakes are much higher in the show. Satan doesn’t actually appear in the book so there ends up being no imminent threat.

I wouldn’t consider Show Crowley to not be an optimist, exactly. In 2x06 he waits by the Bentley and watches Aziraphale until he’s in the elevator and gone. He’s still hoping that maybe, just maybe, Aziraphale would turn back. So he is an optimist in some sense, but it’s not as core to him as in the book.

[insert-witty-user-name-here]

We Last Forever

Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley had done it. They’d saved the world (again), ensuring humanity’s future on Earth for at least for a little bit longer. And now it was time for Aziraphale and Crowley to decide what kind of future they wanted to share. Together.

Or, three semi-connected one-shots of Aziraphale and Crowley getting together and eventually settling down in their South Downs Cottage.

Chapter 1: The Apology Dance

Words: 2,694

Rating: T

It was done. Aziraphale could hardly believe it. He and Crowley had saved the world and avoided all-out celestial war. Again.

In the end, it was all a bit anticlimactic. A few well-spoken words here, a loophole found in a celestial contract there; turned out their fellow angels and demons had problems with management just like Aziraphale and Crowley did. Once the conversations started, it was fairly easy to convince them to lay down their weapons and turn their attention towards building a better system than fighting for a failing one.

Heaven and Hell were now consolidated into one organization. For humans, there was simply The Before, Life, and The Next. Or The After, no one had really decided upon the final name yet. Aziraphale’s head spun thinking about the mountain of paperwork needed to consolidate the two planes of existence. Although it was proving easier than expected. Their systems were eerily similar, almost as if a consolidation had always been a part of some ineffable plan. Aziraphale shook away the thought. He was through playing his part in anyone else’s plan. He was forging his own future now.

The angel picked his way through the sweltering fields of Mount Megiddo. All around him celestial beings argued. This time not over the fate of the cosmos but of timesheet codes, proper memo formats, and uniform regulation. Down the hill, Uriel called upon Aziraphale for help to settle a dispute.

Aziraphale ignored them. He had experienced quite enough of management. It really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. He had no intention of returning to Heaven or joining any restructuring committee. There was only one place—one person Aziraphale wanted to be with. It was just a question on if that person wanted Aziraphale by his side now that things were settled.

Crowley lay stretched atop a large boulder on the edge of the field. Aziraphale’s breath caught in his throat. His red hair gleamed in the late afternoon sun. Smoke still wafted off his jacket from their unavoidable skirmish with Metatron earlier. He looked like the flame of knowledge incarnate. He was stunning.

At Aziraphale’s approach, Crowley turned his head and greeted the angel with a joyful smile before it melted away, replaced by one of polite detachment. It was the type of smile you’d give to someone who shared your morning commute, not someone you shared 6,000 years of friendship with. Aziraphale’s heart fell at the change.

They hadn’t had a chance to talk about It. The moment Aziraphale fell back to Earth and begged Crowley to help him stop Armageddon 2.0, their time had been spent gathering allies and trying to stop the Son of God from accidentally setting off The Rapture. They had been so focused on protecting humanity's future, they hadn’t thought about what the future held in store for them.

Aziraphale knew what future he wanted; he had never been so sure of anything. Almost losing Crowley in the Final-Battle-That-Wasn’t was the scariest moment of Aziraphale’s existence. He had been prepared to burn down the entire world to save Crowley. He would have if Crowley hadn’t talked him back from the ledge. Aziraphale hoped Crowley now understood just how much the demon meant to him, but they didn’t have the best track record of being on the same page. He needed to communicate exactly what he wanted, and listen—really listen this time—to what Crowley wanted.

“So,” Crowley began once Aziraphale was within earshot. “Everything squared away with the merger?”

Aziraphale took a seat on the edge of the boulder. “Oh, yes. Things are coming along nicely.”

“Did the other Archangels agree to the Dark Council’s demands about Torture Thursdays?”

“With surprisingly little hesitation. Or perhaps unsurprisingly. Michael agreed to be the angelic representative during the transition period. They seemed practically eager about the idea.”

Crowley scoffed. “Of course they did. I always wondered if perhaps they would have been happier as a demon.”

“I wonder the exact same thing. They take such joy in human suffering. You should have seen them when we flooded the world. They said they were just excited to show off their rainbow creation but I should have seen through their facade.” Aziraphale paused. “I should have seen a lot of things more clearly, actually.”

Crowley stiffened. They were dangerously close to talking about It.  

“Crowley-” Aziraphale began.

“You know, I should probably get going.” Crowley stood up abruptly with an awkward cough. “I really don’t want to get roped into any more conversations about legal precedent. Despite what everyone thinks, I’m not actually a celestial contract expert. Just got lucky that one time. You know, you were there. Anyway, have fun organizing this lot. They seem like a treat. I, uh. I’ll probably see you around.”

Crowley turned and began to make his way down the hill. Aziraphale panicked.

“Wait, Crowley, wait! I’m sorry!” The cry burst from his lips before he could stop it.

Crowley paused. “Pardon?”

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale repeated. “I, um. Well, I-”

Aziraphale cursed internally as he stuttered. Hadn’t he planned a whole speech? He suddenly couldn’t remember it. He might have blamed Metatron and that damned Book of Life if they hadn’t already defeated him. No, this was entirely his nerves. Aziraphale wiped at the sweat beaded on his brow. Where could he even begin? How could he begin to apologize for the things he said, for everything he had put them through? No apology would ever be enough.

Crowley continued staring and Aziraphale took a deep breath. It was time for him to be honest about his feelings, no matter how messy they might be. His apology didn’t need to be perfect, it just needed to be said.

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale began, “for so many things, but primarily I’m sorry for the way I left. I’m sorry for thinking that you would ever want to return to Heaven after all the harm they caused you. I wanted to make Heaven better for you— with you. I thought I could change it from the inside but I should have known better. You were right. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. And I’m sorry for-” Aziraphale’s voice caught. “I’m sorry for the terrible things I said when you tried to warn me. I was hurt and angry. I thought you were rejecting me, but that’s no excuse for what I said. 

“Crowley, you don’t need to be forgiven. You’ve never needed to be forgiven. You aren’t selfish or bad– you’re wonderful. You’re perfect. You’re you. It’s- it’s me who needs to be forgiven and… oh, Crowley, my dear, I’m just… I’m just so very sorry.”

Read the rest on AO3 here

[kworus]

As promised, here's an analysis of why I firmly believe Aziraphale's actions in s2e6 are in character and why I don't believe in the coffee theory. Obviously I could be wrong but I've been overanalyzing everything to distract myself from THE HORRORS so here's this. ***good omens s2 spoilers below.*** this is kinda long btw

If yall dont know, the coffee theory revolves around the coffee the metatron gave to Aziraphale, and claims that he was poisoned/brainwashed by said coffee. The two main arguments, excluding that to many aziraphale felt ooc, are that a small miracle sound could be heard and that the metatron puts some attention to the amount of almond syrup in the coffee, as if he was hiding some kind of smell. I lowkey believed this theory because it is true that Aziraphale´s actions feel weird, and something else has to be going on. But that is because we are seeing things from Crowley´s point of views.

Crowley sees this as Aziraphale choosing heaven over him, the same heaven that betrayed him and treated him like shit. On top of that, earlier he saw Gabriel and Beelzebub end up together so easily, and that is just so unfair to him. However, Aziraphale thinks he is not *going back* to heaven, he's changing it, because he truly believes heaven is good, its just the people running him that fuck everything up. Where Crowley saw an injustice with how easy it was for the ineffable bureaucracy aziraphale sees a chance, specially since he's now replacing Gabriel. If he could do it then so can he! He can make heaven worthy of him and Crowley.

Now i want to go back to the metatron for a moment and how i think he really is manipulating aziraphale. If he has the power to brainwash aziraphale to do whatever he wants what is the point of telling him he can be with Crowley to convince him? What the metatron is doing is convincing aziraphale that they are on the same side, after all they both enjoy human food and the metatron doesn't mind that he's with Crowley. It's also important to note that azi doesn't know in detail that even Gabriel couldn't convince the other angels of not making another armageddon. But even if he knew he has the metatron on his side right? He believes it can be different with him in charge. The coffee is just a way for the metatron to show his “human side” to aziraphale.

Back to aziraphale, one of the moments where he felt heavily out of character for me is when he says nothing lasts forever because he spent a whole season saving the earth just so he could enjoy earthly pleasures with Crowley, and he loves his bookshop so much. How can he give this up so easily? But what he probably meant was that he's willing to give everything on earth that he loves to safely be with Crowley, and his only way to do that is to change heaven from the inside. Otherwise, they would be fighting the armageddon over and over again. This IS in character for him if you see it from his perspective.

Finally, if aziraphales decision was only atributed to some kind of brainwashing all of the possible ineffable husbands future arc would lose all its meaning. Aziraphale has said at times that crowley goes too fast for him (he said it about driving too fast but symbolism) 6000 YEARS IS TOO FAST FOR HIM!!! He needs time to process everything and we even have a parallelism with nina and maggie. Everyone was expecting them to immediately end up together just because they fell in love and nina is now single, but she needs time and thats realistic!! Shes not ready for another relationship but eventually she will, and maggie will wait for her. Aziraphale and crowley have a similar situation, only with 6000 years of angst and ineffability. The coffee theory would erase all of the complexity and chance of development of aziraphale character. Lets remember that this is the worlds slowest slow burn, it wont become fast all of the sudden. So i guess we just have to wait and see and thats gonna drive me fucking insane.

[foolishlovers]

any ineffable fic recs for the weekend? 👀

yes, always!! here are some of my recent favourites, i've sorted them by word count. hope this helps 💜

When We Meet Again (T, 4k) by AppleSeeds

Aziraphale met Crowley a year ago at Anathema and Newton's wedding, and has regretted not having the courage to ask him out ever since. When he sees Crowley again at his friends' one year anniversary party, Aziraphale is determined to be braver this time - that is, once he manages to get rid of his annoying headache. But when Aziraphale sneaks off to a quiet room to lie down for a bit, he ends up not being alone for long.

(super cute human au with some soft flirting and banter)

Wilde Flowers (M, 8k, WIP) by RockSaltAndRoll

Aziraphale has been single since the 90s. Although happy with his rare book business, he does long for a bit more than just the companionship of his assistant. Crowley has just opened a florist in Aziraphale’s quiet corner of Soho. His tight black clothes, flame red hair and taste in music are absolutely not Aziraphale’s thing. Except Crowley keeps giving him flowers and Aziraphale discovers the florist loves Oscar Wilde. When the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders notice a spark between the frumpy rare book shop owner and the new red-haired florist, they take it upon themselves to engineer a romance for their beloved but eternally single Mr Fell.

(seriously my favourite WIP right now, the writing is so lovely and the premise absolutely delightful)

got a pretty face, pretty boyfriend too (T, 9k) by KissMyAsthma, leukozyna

Aziraphale and Crowley are next-door neighbours. They’ve been attracted to each other since they met. The only thing keeping them apart is a thin wall between their bedrooms and Atticus and Freddie, Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s respective life partners… or are they? A human AU glued together by misunderstandings and wet food.

(what can i say, i'm a sucker for crack treated seriously, this is full of misunderstandings and mutual pining)

Side Mission (T, 11k) by KannaOphelia

Some time after Warlock's ninth birthday, Aziraphale and Crowley have realised they made a mistake, and tracked the real Antichrist down to Tadfield. Two years to save the world is more than enough, right? Except everyone keeps assuming they are a married couple, and it's almost too much for a hopelessly in love demon to bear. Especially when Aziraphale suggests they might as well go along with it.

(if you love the fake dating trope with a good amount of precious pining, you need to read this)

The Loophole, or, How to Convince a Demon God Exists in Three Easy Steps (E, 24k) by fellshish

Ah, yes. Being an Archangel is going splendidly. Aziraphale accidentally erases God from the Book of Life.

(most hilarious post s2 fic i've read with beautiful writing and my beloved anathema coming back)

Fifty-Two Blue (M, 84k) by bendycello

It would be a gross understatement to say that Crowley simply didn't like Aziraphale. He was posh and stuffy and arrogant, and Crowley couldn't figure out why everyone else in the program liked him so much. It hardly mattered; they were competitors, and Crowley didn't need to make friends to become a surgeon. It takes several unleasant encounters, the excessive use of house plants as a coping mechanism, and getting stuck in an elevator for Crowley to start reconsidering his priorities. Or… Crowley and Aziraphale are surgical interns with competitive streaks a mile wide each, and they really do not like each other at all. Until they do.

(slow burn enemies to friends to lovers, absolutely delicious)

[theragingpan]

OK BUT the difference between beelzebub and gabriel and crowley and aziraphale is just that beelzebub and gabriel never gave a single fuck about anyone but themselves, yeah? so ditching the world to head off to alpha centauri was an easy decision - they are the only things they care about

crowley and aziraphale could never leave the world behind, except for each other - i mean the first thing aziraphale says when the metatron makes his offer is "i don't want to go back to heaven!!!" where would he get his coffee? his sushi?? his books??? he has such incredible love for humanity, fuck, our introduction to him was him giving away his flaming sword (entrusted to him by heaven) to help humans, and later he decides to lie to heaven to save the children of job. and crowley turned his goats into ravens and drank poison and begged aziraphale to convince a little kid not to commit suicide and created half of the galaxy and presumably fell because he asked god why they had to destroy it in the end!!!! their motto is TO THE WORLD

they love each other in part because they both love the world - they both follow their respective head offices as far as they can, but not so far that they harm the world, yeah??

aziraphale, faced with the opportunity to take heaven and make it a place that could accept crowley and allow him to create like he used to and love the world openly - well, he couldn't refuse. coupled with his conviction that it's not an institutional problem, just a few bad apples, and heaven really is good after all - fuck, heaven is telling him that all along, he was doing the right thing, that "you're an angel, i don't think you can do the wrong thing" and with the fact that he could love crowley and the world openly and shamelessly....

and crowley, who understands that it is an institutional problem, believes that aziraphale is choosing heaven over him and the world (because the world is dead if heaven or hell destroys it).

fdlafkj i don't really know where i'm going with this but the point is, beelzebub and gabriel only really found meaning in each other - they had no complex ties to heaven or hell or the earth, but aziraphale and crowley do.

[isfjwallflower]

~more FILLED WITH SPOILERS good omens s2 thoughts~

i am an ex-christian, i really resonated with crowley’s stance. during s2, much like s1, we got a glance into crowley and aziraphale’s adventures of the past.

during these moments, aziraphale wrestles with the concept of good and evil. heaven lets the demons destroy everything job has. in our victorian episode, aziraphale thinks that elspeth digging up bodies is wrong, only to find out that the income from the bodies would go toward elspeth and wee morag’s survival on the streets. then he learns that these bodies would contribute to the study of anatomy and end up saving lives. aziraphale is clouded by ignorance toward human suffering and poverty.

crowley, on the other hand, makes three important comments on this score. he questions whether poverty gives people more “room” to become good as aziraphale argues on their way to mr dalrymple. he also comments that the rich put tripwire-activated guns and alarms for their graves but that the poor cannot afford them. last of all, crowley instructs aziraphale to give elspeth the NINETY gineas he has on his person so elspeth can make herself a life she thinks is worth living.

With this, crowley seems to have better class consciousness than aziraphale. aziraphale stops by people who are suffering and does a few miracles without sticking around to see if the “good” he has done lasts in the long term or is actually the right thing to do. crowley, on the other hand, understands the impact his actions have on people.

back to what i was saying about my experience as an ex-christian, i am reminded of the seemingly oblivious christian churches that send people out on short-term “mission trips,” which provide little help to communities suffering under poverty. it also reminds me of christians who, despite everything the bible says about helping people in need, have ridiculous amounts of money that they hoard instead of giving it away to people in their communities who suffer with food insecurity, homelessness, etc. he is unaware of his own wealth because he has so much of it, and as an angel, can miracle things into existence without needing to give his time or work into earning to pay for his survival. the rest of heaven seems to think this way as well, which is shown by their not knowing how babies are produced, etc. hell, on the other hand, is comically “evil,” and is more like a poorly functioning office space.

at the end of s2, aziraphale and crowley finally come head-to-head. crowley confesses his feelings for aziraphale, but aziraphale takes the opportunity to replace gabriel. crowley’s thoughts are like mine: how can aziraphale side with heaven again after watching them cause so much pain? how can he, after seeing countless examples of complex moral questions, say that heaven is the “good guys” and hell is the “bad guys.”

but then again, as I was raised in a tight-knit, “don’t talk with or trust anyone who believes different” christian community, i also understand aziraphale. after everything he’s seen, he has been convinced that questioning is wrong, and he knows crowley fell because of it. the general thought i was taught growing up kept me isolated and made me excuse many behaviors, because, after all, we don’t know “god’s ways” and “everything happens for a reason.”

i’ve seen people on the internet with different views like people wanting aziraphale to “fix” heaven so crowley and aziraphale can be there together. but as a former christian, what i know is that stubbornness is written into the christian psyche and that people will refuse to change their minds, no matter what they’ve seen or what they’re told.

[aziraphales-library]

Could you rec some case fics please?

Here are some case fics for you...

Fatal Flaw by LadyWallace (T)

Someone targets Aziraphale and Crowley and decides the best way to get back at them is to take one of them out. Permanently. When Aziraphale is injected with a poison deadly to angels, it's a race against time to find the culprit and the antidote that will save his life.

The Star Stone by AppleSeeds (T)

Heaven punished Aziraphale by making him human and taking away his memories. Hell figured this was punishment enough for Crowley and just crossed the job off the list.

Now Crowley is searching for an occult (originally ethereal) artefact that could restore Aziraphale’s angelic nature, but the only man who can help him doesn’t remember who he is.

Aziraphale quickly becomes much more than just intrigued with the enigmatic scholar seeking his assistance, eagerly joining him on a modern-day quest to unravel mysteries and solve riddles to find the artefact. As they spend time together, Aziraphale's feelings develop and he struggles with the fact that his new acquaintance’s heart quite evidently belongs to someone else... or so he believes.

a little bit bothersome by orphan_account (T)

Anthony J Crowley just wants to open his business and live a peaceful life. But when a murder occurs on his street and it becomes apparent nothing will be done about it, Crowley takes it upon himself to solve the mystery. He enlists the help of his next door neighbour, Azira Fell to help solve the mysery but things aren't what they appear.

---

“Fell, you are the most knowledgeable of all the people here and the most likely to listen to me,” Crowley began, leaning forward, his glasses slipping slightly. “I’m guessing you don’t want this anymore than I do?”

Fell was silent for a few seconds, before finally replying. “It’s murder,” he said, a weird tone in his voice, like he was speaking through a sob. “Why would anyone want it?”

“Then help me.”

the many-venomed earth by curtaincall (T)

It’s the trial of the century: bestselling mystery author Anthony Crowley stands accused of poisoning his former lover. He’s got means (arsenic), motive (the breakup), and opportunity (a meeting the night of the murder); his guilt seems certain.

Certain, that is, to everyone except Lord Aziraphale Eastgate, rare book collector and amateur detective. Aziraphale’s not sure why he’s so convinced of Crowley’s innocence, but he’s determined to save him from the gallows--by finding the real murderer before it’s too late.

Instructions Not Included by Atalan (T)

"They'll leave us alone. For a bit."

One year after the Apocalypse-That-Wasn't, Crowley and Aziraphale have settled into a new routine: keeping an eye on supernatural happenings in the world and preventing Heaven or Hell from interfering too much with humanity. It's not a bad job - despite occasional rains of fish - and if there are some unspoken things they really ought to talk about, well, they have all the time in the world now to get around to that, right?

At least, until the Archangel Raphael turns up on their doorstep looking for help... and it starts to become clear that the world is changing fast, and so are they.

Or: Crowley and Aziraphale start a detective agency. Shenanigans ensue. Slowburn continues. Apparently, there is plot. I have some thoughts about Heaven, Hell, and humanism. There will be stupid jokes and a healthy sprinkling of angst.

The Currents by indigo (E)

Post-End-of-the-World-that-Wasn't, a bored demon sets up a Detective Agency and obviously drags his angel counterpart in to help out. They are tasked with preventing a murder before it happens and set off to the Highlands of Scotland - where, of course, nothing works out quite the way they imagine...

Mind the tags on that last one!

- Mod D

[superwho-am-i-kidding]

Too Late (PART ONE)

{For Stevie. Hope I don’t disappoint. Check out their blog @lookitsstevie .} PART TWO IS HERE!

Aziraphale stood over the remains of what was once a demon. A demon that had lived in this Mayfair apartment. A demon that had fallen in love with a human’s piece of moving metal, and with small green slivers of life. A demon who had saved him from the Bastille, and only asked for lunch and a bit of company in return. Aziraphale stared at the puddle of melted goo, one that was terrifyingly accurate to the description this particular demon had once used to describe the end of the world, while pleading to escape it.

“But we can run away together. Alpha Centauri.”

“Crowley, you’re being ridiculous.”

His face was blank as the stench of melting, rotted flesh curled around his nostrils and infiltrated each fold of his clothing. “The forces of Hell have figured out it was my fault.” Crowley’s words rang in his ears as he stood, a lonely figure frozen in time. Silence and a strange stillness fell around him. There were no sounds of cars on the street below, no sound of the plants trembling in the room next door. Aziraphale hardly noticed when his breathing and heartbeat stopped as well, aiding the silence further. The sun was silent in its trek across the room, the only thing marking the passing of time. As the box of light carefully swept across the office, it paused on the tartan thermos that sat on top of the desk. The thermos he had gifted the demon on the condition he was never to use it.

“I need a favor… if it all goes wrong. I want insurance.”

“I’m not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley.”

Thick rubber gloves lay next to it, beckoning Aziraphale’s mind to think of the scenario that could have led to the extinction of the demon behind it. The hope would have been that the tricky redhead would have found some way to squirm free and escape, as he always had before. Unless he had been surrounded. Aziraphale had never given Crowley’s death any real thought before, but if he had, he would have expected Crowley to put up more of a fight.

The office looked too clean—nothing was broken and nothing appeared to be missing. Crowley would have been overwhelmingly surrounded, then, Aziraphale decided, to just give in to his fate. Until a thought struck him. Maybe Crowley simply gave up. Stood his ground, but didn’t fight back. Crowley just let his extinction happen.

Aziraphale let it happen. He spat in the face of friendship each time it had been offered to him. He pushed the demon consistently to his breaking point, but this time he pushed too hard. He knew the moment he had spoken the words at the bandstand that there was no going back this time. No half-meant apology that would satiate the demon until Aziraphale needed to be rescued once again.

“Friends? We’re not friends.”

He had convinced not only himself, but also Crowley that there was nothing between them, save for an arrangement for the betterment of humankind. That all the meals shared between the two of them were meaningless and easily replaceable.

“I don’t need you.”

“And the feeling is mutual.”

Aziraphale was sure Crowley was gone, there was absolutely no trace of him or his essence anywhere. He had always been able to feel Crowley in the world, something that pretended to be dark, but was nothing more than a flashlight underneath a blanket. It pretended to float around and cause chaos, but within the safety of the sheet, it allowed itself to shine a little brighter than was expected.

Aziraphale never expected to feel this way. Empty. Cold. His body was tired, his soul was tired. A single tear escaped from his eye and joined the rest of the holy water on the ground. And then something within Aziraphale snapped. The resentment he had been harboring and attempting to hide for the past six thousand years was beginning to rise to the surface. Aziraphale felt the thick coils wrap around him, a strange comfort in this dark hour.

He didn’t realize what was happening until pain exploded throughout his corporation. He should have screamed, begged to take it all back. But he didn’t. Just like Crowley, he gave in to his fate with an acceptance that would have shocked his past self. Aziraphale finally breathed again, once the pain had mostly dissipated. He would wait, he decided. Wait for the end to come.

[enchantress-emily]

Good Omens Fic Recs

I thought it would be fun to do a rec post for some of my favorite Good Omens fics!

But It Wouldn't Be Make-Believe by @ineffablefool

Crowley wants just one visit home to see his mum without her trying to fix him up with some nice young lady. He also wants very, very much to kiss Aziraphale, a lot. If only there was some way for him to accomplish both of these goals at once without having to actually ask Aziraphale out, which he is one thousand percent too chicken to do.

It's hard to choose just one of Jack's fics to recommend! Everything he writes is soft, romantic, asexual, and extremely fat-positive. This one is a multichapter Human AU in which Crowley and Aziraphale are completely smitten with each other, but convinced that the other just thinks of them as a friend.

Demon & Angel Professors series by Ghostinthehouse (@ineffableghost)

They're professors. They're married. Their students don't realise. Cue shenanigans.

An ongoing series of linked short fics (each exactly 666 words!) in which every new batch of university students has to figure out all over again that the terrifying Dr. Crowley (Botany) and the husband that Dr. Fell (Literature) gushes about are in fact the same person. There's also a recurring theme of the two of them helping and supporting queer and disabled students.

The Serpent's House by @hope-inthedark

Aziraphale Fell has been working at Heaven's Gate, Inc for the better part of twenty years as an assessor of orphanages for children with magical abilities. His life had been perfectly normal and beautifully boring until the day he was summoned to the Office of the Archangels and given an assignment that will turn his life on its head.

I've thought for some time that somebody needed to do a crossover/fusion between Good Omens and The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune, and Hope is pulling it off spectacularly! (You don't necessarily need to have read Cerulean Sea to enjoy The Serpent's House, but it's even more fun if you have.) This fic is still in progress as of 7/12/21.

The Rose and the Serpent by Atalan (@brightwanderer)

Quite honestly, sending Aziraphale off into the forest to be held hostage by a giant snake in a cursed castle isn’t even the worst thing Gabriel’s ever done to him, and at least it means a change of scene. But then neither the snake nor the castle turn out to be quite what he’s expecting…

An absorbing, beautifully written Beauty & the Beast AU with snake!Crowley. If you aren't into sex scenes (like me), don't be put off by the M rating; the sex is a fairly minor part of the story and not at all explicit.

The Birds and the Snakes by @lyricwritesprose

Warlock Dowling discovers something that could ruin his life. Naturally, he calls on his godparents. The help that they give him isn't the help that he's expecting.

Teenage Warlock realizes he's gay and thinks that means he'll never have a chance at happiness, until Crowley and Aziraphale demonstrate otherwise. Heartwarming, with some very sweet Warlock-and-Nanny moments.

So You Need To Get Into A.Z. Fell & Co.; Now What? (A Guide For Unfortunate Bookworms) by arkhamcycle

London’s antique enthusiasts and rare lit nerds alike know that if you’re looking for a specific vintage or antique book, you have a good chance of ending up in A.Z. Fell & Co. as a last resort. And if you’ve ever been in (or are currently in) this predicament, you know how much of an absolute nightmare it is trying to even get in the door. Luckily, this handy guide, the fruit of a months-long collaborative effort to create the perfect formula for gaming the A.Z. Fell system, will tell you everything you need to know, complete with a comprehensive breakdown of what, exactly, the opening hours are. Compiled by pageknight and inky of the Rare Antique Forums.

A hysterical in-universe guide to buying a book from Aziraphale! Read the work it was inspired by, too, and then the other works inspired by that - they're all priceless.

Taking Some Pictures or Something by @infinitevariety

On a road trip to the South Downs Crowley gives Aziraphale his phone to take photos of the views. However, Aziraphale doesn't know how the phone works and spends all day accidentally posting to Crowley's Instagram story.

What it says on the tin. Impossibly cute and wholesome!

No One You Can Save That Can't Be Saved by AstroGirl

Correspondence from Ilyrophon, Bureau of Earthly Affairs, temporary field agent assigned to gather intelligence on the angel who shall be referred to as "The Traitor" and his confederate, the Serpent of Eden.

An interesting twist on outsider POV, with Ilyrophon gradually coming to understand and sympathize with Aziraphale and Crowley's love for the Earth and each other.

Blessed/Cursed Retirement by DictionaryWrites

Liam Buttersby, a very normal, nine-year-old boy, makes a friend in the retiree who has recently moved to his village in the South Downs.

The retiree in question claims to hate it, and is a liar.

A fun Book Omens fic where Crowley becomes unexpectedly popular with the neighborhood kids.

[holycatsandrabbits]

“Are you the devil?”

“Am I the— excuse me?” Mr. Crowley looked down at Nadine with obvious surprise.

At the coffee shop where Nadine worked, across the street from Mr. Fell’s, her co-workers were convinced he was. They said Mr. Crowley had snake’s eyes behind those sunglasses, and maybe black wings too. And it was true that Mr. Fell seemed not to have aged since he’d opened the shop. Hazel was the one who clinched it, though, asking the obvious question. Why else would sweet Mr. Fell be with a guy like that?

Nadine had spied on him for weeks. When she saw Mr. Crowley snap his fingers and disappear, she knew the truth. “I want to make a deal,” she said, with a courage that came not from some fire within but from simply being at the end of the road. “For my soul.”

Mr. Crowley sighed and leaned back against the doorjamb of the shop. “And what kind of favor from the devil do you think is worth your soul? Fame, fortune? Short-sighted, you humans are. What, 80 years here on Earth to enjoy it, and an eternity in Hell.”

Nadine reminded herself that it was a good thing that Mr. Crowley hadn’t denied being the devil. “It’s worth it,” she said. “My husband is sick.”

For a second, Mr. Crowley’s demeanor softened, making him look decidedly undemonic. But he quickly grew cool and impassive again. “Nope, can't help you. Out.”

Nadine held her ground. “Please! I will do anything!”

“Keep your voice down!” Mr. Crowley hissed. “Do you know how hard it is to get him to actually sleep?”

And then Nadine heard another voice from within the shop. “My dear?”

Mr. Crowley let out a low (but frankly terrifying) growl at Nadine as Mr. Fell rounded the door, looking sleepy, although he was fully dressed.

It was easier for Nadine to address Mr. Fell—well, unsurprisingly, it was easier to address anyone who was not possibly the devil. “I came to make a deal with—” she pointed a shaking hand at Mr. Crowley. “Like you did.” Mr. Fell looked confused. “So—so that you’re immortal."

Mr. Fell’s lovely blue eyes went wide. “You...think I traded my soul for eternal life?”

It had not occurred to Nadine that she might be misunderstood on this point. “Well—uh—” she stammered, “you live together, so we assumed—”

A look of delight crossed Mr. Fell’s face. “You think I traded sex for eternal life. To him.” His eyes flicked to his husband. “Now that is an interesting idea.”

Mr. Crowley’s face had gone bright red. “It is not, I will not have people think that I would—” He sputtered. “That you would—”

Mr. Fell was dissolving in giggles. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he gasped, holding up a hand, but he couldn’t stop laughing. He managed to say, “Come in, Nadine,” and she did, wondering when she’d told him her name, before she found herself sitting on a couch with a cup of tea that as far as she could tell, had come from nowhere.

Wiping his eyes, Mr. Fell said, “I’m afraid it’s not possible to meet the devil in my bookshop, he’s much too large. What did you need, my dear?”

Nadine’s cup rattled in its saucer. She looked at Mr. Crowley. “You can’t help me? But I’m willing to trade—”

Mr. Fell’s voice grew graver. “I wouldn’t keep saying that, Nadine, someone down there will eventually hear you.”

“But I mean it! My soul for my husband’s life!”

As Mr. Fell’s expression filled with sympathy, Mr. Crowley gave an exasperated growl. “Aziraphale, no.”

Mr. Fell just frowned at him. “I am perfectly capable of—”

“Oh, yeah? Let’s see it.”

Nadine’s cup ended up missing the saucer altogether, landing on the floor, as she watched two beautiful white wings spread out from Mr. Fell’s back.

“You’re an angel?” she gasped.

Mr. Crowley was still glaring at her. “And do you see that weak glow? Should be blinding. And do you know why that is? Because he spent today visiting the heart ward.” He switched his focus to his husband now. “Shouldn’t have done, should you? And now you want to go to the cancer ward, but you can’t because I am not dealing with you either endangering your health or coming home heartbroken that you couldn’t save them all.”

“Well,” said Mr. Fell in what was a remarkably calm voice for someone getting scolded in such a menacing tone, although maybe angels were just naturally brave, “that does suggest one other possibility.”

“No, it does not. One of us has to keep up their strength, you never know when they'll come back. My job is to protect you, angel, and if that means I can’t do this, then I just—I just won’t.” Mr. Crowley’s voice broke just a little on the last word.

Mr. Fell's eyes grew soft. “Oh, my dear. Yes, I understand. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.”

Mr. Crowley folded his arms again. “Right. So it’s settled.”

Mr. Fell turned back to Nadine, who was still holding a saucer with nothing on it. “I’m very sorry, my dear, but—”

“Fine!” Mr. Crowley growled suddenly, throwing his hands up in the air and making both of them jump. “But I am charging a price. You wanted a deal with the devil, I'll give you one.”

Mr. Fell was looking at his husband with surprise that quickly brightened into a rather dazed adoration.

“I thought you weren’t—” Nadine started.

Mr. Crowley removed his sunglasses. Nadine dropped the saucer.

“I’m close enough,” he assured her as he stalked closer. “And this is my price. For the life of your husband, and only him: not a word about this to anybody. Ever. Aziraphale already does too much, I won’t have the whole of humanity knocking down the bookshop door.”

“You don't want my soul?” Nadine squeaked.

“He already owns mine, dear,” Mr. Fell said, in an extremely fond voice, “along with my heart. I don't think he needs anyone else’s.”

For the second time in the evening, Nadine watched Mr. Crowley lose his composure, a bright red blush flaming over his face. He seemed not to know what to do with his hands. “Angel, for Hell’s sake!” he snapped quietly, shoving his sunglasses back on.

The next day, Nadine wasn’t surprised to find the entire cancer ward making miraculous recoveries. After all, she knew what it was like to love someone so strongly that you would do anything for him.

**********

This one was my husband’s idea!  

Mr. Fell’s bookshop ficlets master post

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