#cookie factoids

[adoptsomecookies]

Licorice Cookies are probably some of the whiniest cookies you could possibly get. They frequently need reassurance and praise to thrive properly, its to the point where even backhanded compliments from a Dark Echantress Cookie would make the Licorice Cookie eager and ready to continue the work that had got him praised in the first place. Every Licorice Cookies desire is to just be the very best wizard he can be, and such praises on his progress can improve his mood significantly if he's having a bad day. A Licorice cookie does not need to be praised at every waking moment, just when he achieves something thats important to him, it really means alot to em, y'know? He'd really love it if you shared his enthusiasm about the event.

Its also due to this need for praise, that when they continually do not get praised, and instead insulted, called inferior, etc, it will easily develop into an obession that keeps the Licorice Cookie loyal to even the most abusive of owners. Its extremely sad, but since cookies are a bit more... domestic, than their original counterparts usually, one could easily assume such reliance was bound to happen.

Should a Licorice Cookie be abandoned or put into adoption due to finanical or personal issues, he will develop severe abandonment issues nine times out of ten, making him practically someones little shadow if allowed to travel with their new companion at the time. However, these fears can be temporarily quelled with other cookie companions (though the Licorice Cookie won't admit it) or through the love of some furry (or otherwise) friends.

In any case, it is not recommended to put a licorice cookie up for adoption more than once.

[eldathlete]

Tag dump!

[on-leatheredwings]

Meeting the Family

based off this! but can be read alone.

Yandere! Fem! Reader / Yandere! Bruce Wayne

> romantic with bruce, platonic with the boys. the boys could be read as pre-yandere if you wish. > tw/cw: reader is a yandere, yandere-typical thought patterns, implied drugging, mention of self-harm, implied drugging > request: thoughts on co-conspirator!reader meeting the boys? > a/n: Hmmmm, i feel it’d be a meeting of interrogation where they see you’re clearly unstable !! > word count: 1.4k

You walk towards the threshold of a Wayne Manor sitting room. You have this hallway nearly memorized. You’ve viewed it through your 24/7 surveillance cameras and glanced upon it during your visits, but never has this hallway seemed so daunting until now. Luckily, your lover is nearby to reassure you. Bruce slips his hand into yours, and you inwardly swoon. You share a warm glance with him.

“They’ll adore you,” he says. You let a smile peek through your anxious expression. “I know I do.” At such sweet words, you feel your cheeks heat. Ugh, this man, you think affectionately.

Your Sunday best is the armor you don to meet Bruce’s children. It seems like you won’t even be able to meet them all – only the ones in town. “They just want to interrogate me,” you whine, letting yourself be pulled towards the impeccably decorated room.

“They just want to get to know you,” Bruce returns, humming. You can’t retort because already, you are in full view of his brood. The three of them look up from their phones and books. You swallow, under the scrutiny of two pairs of blue eyes and one pair of green.

“... Hi,” you say, waving a stupid hand. One smiles in return, thank goodness.

“I’ll just let you all get acquainted,” Bruce says, retreating. You swerve to him, blinking dumbly. That was not the agreement. The agreement was that Bruce moderate the discussion– and he’s gone.

He leaves the sitting room, and leaves you in the lion’s den to fend for yourself. And boy, do the lions pounce. 

The eldest, Dick – he’s positively godsent. He’s the first to shake your hand, immediately going into a friendly babble about how you’re all Bruce ever talks about and how he’s been excited to meet you. And thank God for that, because it manages to ease the tension you still have in your shoulders. He introduces himself and his brothers, melts the ice by teasing them as he does it. He offers you a seat across from them, offers you tea and cookies. He shares an anecdote of Bruce’s less polished moments to make you laugh. 

You soon realize he was a sleeper agent. He was merely buttering you up, lowering your defenses with well-placed platitudes and good-natured jokes.

It’s Tim who begins the true assault.

“So,” Tim begins over a cup of tea, looking upon you owlishly. “Isolation for 10 long years… How was that?” You blink, startled, before smiling weakly. At least no one was treating you like glass. Sometimes, that made you feel even more like a freak.

You try to give him a Sparknotes recollection, but it doesn’t satisfy him. At his badgering, you do relent more details. You are slipping your innermost thoughts without much of a fight, to your surprise. Dick’s empathetic gaze and Tim’s enraptured attention have you spilling dark thoughts it took you months to even tell Bruce… 

It was long. It was traumatic. Mind-altering. You have breakdown after breakdown. Self-harm after self-harm. There is a part of you you can never get back… So, 'how was it?' Why, just awful, thanks for asking!

Dick comforts you with “you’re so strong,” as Tim nods. He seems happy with his findings. It seems like you have piqued his academic interest – you can basically see the gears churning behind his mind, the factoids he’s storing for later. For what, you don’t know, but you’re glad to help. Throat dry, you down the rest of that blasted tea, but the boys aren’t quite finished.

Damian, however, is brutal in his questioning, sparing any of the pleasantries or dithering his brothers employed. He asks rapid fire about your past outside of your years in isolation. What was your childhood like? Your relationship with your parents? Did you ever graduate high school? College? What was your major? Do you like animals? His father houses two dogs, a cat, and a cow – you do know that don’t you? 

“What are your intentions with my father?” At that, you flinch.

“Nothing… nefarious, to be sure,” you say, sweat beginning to bead on your temple. It’s true! Aside from all the dastardly actions you wanted to inflict upon Bruce in the bedroom, nothing nefarious!

“And his other suitors? They don’t bother you?” 

At that, your smile wilts. Not from any offense… you simply don’t enjoy the reminder that others do seek Bruce’s affection. 

“They… don’t worry me,” you say succinctly. Dick doesn’t think you realize how your smile has grown sharp. Damian doesn’t let on whether he approves or disapproves of the answer. And Tim simply watches.

“And my father’s controlling and possessive tendencies? You’re fine with that? What would you do if you caught him in a lie? Or if a woman he was involved with confronted you?”

You gape like a fish. Man, what a character this one was. Damian blinks slow and catlike, before he sniffs. “I’m asking for one of the siblings who couldn’t be here today.”

“Um…” you return, discombobulated. You shoot off your answers as rapid-fire as he posed them. “I haven’t noticed any tendencies. And I can handle myself! If he lied… I’d hear him out. He probably had a good reason, of course.”

“What if it was infidelity?” 

You glare at them. “I’d get rid of her.” Why do they keep bringing up other women? 

At the boys’ silence, you realize your mistake. You wave your hands and bluster, “Not like– not like get rid of her– I would just tell her to… Leave. And I’d be… angry… at Bruce.” God, you don’t feel like you’re doing too well in this interview. You hiccup, filling your cup some more. What is in this tea? Man, it’s delicious.

“... Interesting.” 

“What if Bruce left you out of his own volition?” Tim points out, drawing your attention.

Your head snaps to him and you stare… That possibility had never even crossed your mind.

“He wouldn’t,” you say, confused. At raised eyebrows, you say, “I mean. I-I don’t think he would.” You have faith in Bruce. It’s been five months now, and your relationship has gone swimmingly. You had your insecurities… but Bruce had kissed all your worries away by now. Your fingers dig into the cushion of the couch. 

He wouldn’t leave. He couldn’t. He had already reassured you, and been so kind, and wonderful, and shown you what love was like– he couldn’t just leave you now–

“But what if he did?” and this time, the question comes from Dick, who, if you recall, hadn’t asked a single question yet. He looks serious, unlike his casual air from before.

You keep the desperation out your voice by keeping it chillingly level. “Then I’d convince him otherwise.” Good answer, good answer, you applaud yourself. All the boys nod, looking upon you with varying degrees of interest, curiosity, and understanding.

“Then… I suppose we have just one more question,” Tim says, plucking the kettle of tea out your hands. You pout.

“Thoughts on having children?”

At the question, your brows shoot into your hairline.

“... Are there not enough of you already?” you blurt.

To your relief, they all relax.

-

After that strange encounter, Bruce shows himself and sees you out. The walk outside is quiet. Comfortably quiet on your end. You hope you did good… no, you reassure yourself. Fuck it, you did great.

“So… how were they?” 

You glance at his face, and are surprised to see thinly veiled concern behind his smile. “Did any of them say anything… strange? And… did you like them?” You laugh, before floating up to kiss Bruce between the brows. Flight powers came in handy for stuff like that.

“They were wonderful,” you say cheekily. “Something they clearly get from their father.”

-

bonus!

Bruce re-enters the foyer. He shoots off a text, lamenting. If you hadn’t had him bug his own home, he could’ve spoken to the boys freely. He could’ve had Jason hide nearby, instead of having to listen in on Damian’s phone.

Bruce: Did that satisfy your curiosities?

Several ellipses in bubbles pop up, before his phone rattles with their responses.

Damian: Frankly, she comes off as airheaded and naive, but at least she seems to have some semblance of spine.

Jason: She’s crazy. Didn’t we tell you to stop sticking your dick in crazy

Dick: Well, I think that makes you guys a perfect match!

Tim: bruce i’m sorry, you cannot fix her. however, i would like to study her. and possibly, make her worse

Bruce sighs, albeit smiling. By all accounts, you seem have gotten their general approval.

[pearlesscentt]

love in the little things : svt hip-hop unit

── alternatively: the times when actions whisper softly, but the love speaks volumes.

svt (hiphop unit) x reader, established relationship, fluff , 642 words

vocal unit | performance unit

꒰ 🫧 ꒱ — there's a sense of calmness that SEUNGCHEOL feels when he drives around with you right by his side. whether it's the daily commute to work or a night out with your friends, he insists on being the one to take you there. "i find peace in it," he said one time when you asked him about it.

and sure, the experience of driving beside him is a joy in its own right, but what tugs at your heartstrings the most is his steadfast commitment to punctuality. you had mentioned to him once how being made to wait on your own makes you anxious; he understood this unease, that's why he never lets you experience that anxiety. it washes you with relief and comfort to see him patiently waiting for you when you get out the door.

for more of this, check out open road promises.

꒰ 🫧 ꒱ — like the pitter-patter of the raindrops, it became a pattern on countless occasions already. it was instinct for WONWOO that every time it rained; he would subtly shift the umbrella he was holding up for the both you, so that you would get more than enough shade to keep you dry.

whether it was a drizzle or a downpour, he would position the umbrella at an angle just to give you more shelter. every now and then, he would even steal glances at you to make sure you were comfortable, without a care for the rain-soaked shirt clinging to his arm. it was a gesture he never talked about and never seem to have to think twice about — his tiny habit that means so much to you.

in the midst of the rain, wonwoo never fails to wrap you up in the most beautiful kind of warmth.

꒰ 🫧 ꒱ — with his wholehearted belief that what's his is yours, MINGYU loves to give you the best bites of every food he eats. initially, you thought it was just a simple act of sharing, which was already sweet in itself. yet, during a cozy movie night at his place, the realization hit as you both were enjoying a bag of gummy bears. it dawned on you that he had been actively avoiding your favorite colors, making sure that you had them all to yourself.

since that moment, you grew more aware of it: the cheesiest slice of pizza, the fudgiest corner of a brownie, the juiciest chicken drumsticks, the scoop of ice cream with the largest chunk of cookie dough, and the portion of the corn dog with the perfect cheese-to-dough ratio, among many others. his smile that radiates joy and fulfillment every time he does it — a wordless testament to his love for you.

꒰ 🫧 ꒱ — you smiled as soon as you saw VERNON's name flash on your phone screen. though you never know what to expect, it was a familiar occurrence in your day-to-day — his penchant for sending you the most random texts in the most random times throughout the day.

"look what i just saw that reminded me of you!" one of them read, it was then followed by a picture of puddle in the shape of a heart. this has become a delightful routine that never ceases to make your heart jump every time you feel your phone vibrate, notifying you of a new message. but it doesn't stop with images of heart-shaped objects; he sends factoids ("did you know that honey never spoils?"), casual updates of what he's up to ("babe i spilled water on myself and now i look like i peed my pants"), little reminders for you ("don't forget to eat today okay?"), and your favorite of all, his tiny confessions of love ("i love you and i can't wait to see you later!").

the spontaneity of it is what you loved about it. the thought that during arbitrary moments in his day, his thoughts are filled with you.

svt masterlist | navigation ── reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated !

© 2023 PEARLESSCENTT. please do not steal my works.

[raguna-blade]

One thing i'm absolutely loving about Dungeon Meshi right now is that factually, for real, Laius is a real smart cookie. Dude knows his stuff...But unlike a lot of stories where you have a guy who's smart like that, it's not only really grounded in what he knows, being basically hyper focused on monsters, but it's also not like instant perfect recall about every detail and factoid

Like he sometimes just doesn't know off hand about some monster or another's specific ecology...But he knows a decent amount about a HUGE variety of monsters, and the ways they overlap.

Which I think if anything makes him seem smarter because instead of just having the answer it's "I know roughly there about's what is correct based on this class of things. I know it's an X but I don't know all the details, but because it's a Y, this this this and this are probably true enough?"

And what's fun is when some detail or another shows up again the characters CLEARLY remember it or reference it directly without Laius having to pop in and explain, but you might not, but they'll reference oh yeah he said xyz let's try that

It's just such good writing i love it.

[msbfonnie]

hey yall im currently in a Submas funk so im here to introduce you to the Unicosm! Subway Masters. Unicosm is an AU that my friends and I are doing where we put a bunch of characters in a universe together and just have fun with it! And of course I had to put Emmet and Ingo in it :]]]]]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some little factoids about these versions of the Subway Bosses:

-They run the Milky Way Express as the two helper conductors to Milky Way Cookie; Their outfits are star-themed cause of it :]]

-Ingo has phantom memories of being in Hisui, even though this version of Ingo hasn't gone there. Meanwhile, Emmet does not

-Their eyes are normally a galactic purple color, but turn white and can glow in the dark if they so desire (as seen in Image 6)

-Emmet still loves Joltiks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay that's all anyways heres some credits

Fuck ya Life Emmet is inspired by this video as well as this comic

Lin (the catperson in the last image) belongs to my friend @s0naverse

[blank-house]

*sets out a summoning circle and puts cookies, tea/coffee and a soft plushie for cuddles*

I'm not above begging for tidbits about Jamie.

But do you have any little factoids about this man who needs a little brat to tease him mercilessly just to try and get a blush out of him (it's me. I'm the brat)

Loving all the work you guys are doing!! 💞💞💞

jamie knows every word to celine dion's "it's all coming back to me now." not the radio edit. the seven minute version one.

[cortlandkaard]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ "What's the problem? Never smelled spoiled milk before?!" ✧˖°.

Meet Milk Jelly Cookie!

This idiosyncratic, mismatched Cookie has seen their fair share of the Cacao Kingdom's biggest adversities firsthand. First separated from their parents at a young age, and then teased for years in the villages they sought refuge in, the formerly sweet Cookie had become more and more bitter as time progressed. However, a few years after the throne was passed on to Dark Choco Cookie, they'd find things soon turning completely on their head! Adopted personally into the Citadel, they now have access to nearly whatever they want — including a large, loving, and affectionate family. But one question still remains unanswered for the community: can you sweeten a spoiled Cookie?

bonus art and small factoids under the cut! :)

i think he holds them like a fish when he wants to show them off.

don't they look kinda cyberpunk-y? they definitely listen to punk music (which naturally freaks out dark choco). i think they'd probably also listen to older music... as in bands that were popular when dark cacao was in his 30s?

they would have a pretty protective relationship with bitter mocha (i have posts about her already, i think) and would definitely stick up for her if people tried bullying her. silly guy :)

they're scared of affection initially, but i think ristretto (i also have posts about her) would be the main one to wear them down into accepting The Love TM. she's too nice to them so they feel kinda bad being all rough and tumble with her.

got headcanons to add? lore-based questions that will kill you if left unanswered?! TELL ME!!!

[wlwcookierun]

GENERAL DATING HEADCANONS FOR. . . Parfait Cookie !

Parfait Cookie's love language is a mix of words of affirmation and quality time. She just loves being near you, even better when you're doing something together, like shopping or watching a show. She praises you generously, and tells you every day just how much she loves you.

Nicknames and pet names are very common. She uses every food and sweets related nickname under the sun, often humorously, but most often calls you, "sweetheart," "sunshine," "honeybun," and "angel."

When she's not practicing, performing, or generally doing anything music related, all she wants to do is laze around at home with you. Performing can be exhausting and nerve-wracking, and she needs time to just rest and recharge. She likes to bake and cook with you even if she's not the best at it.

Self-writing many of her songs can be hard. Parfait Cookie finds herself in ruts and creative blocks, unable to write anything beyond generic lines that aren't truly authentic or inspired. When this happens, she turns to you.

She claims you're a huge inspiration for her. Whatever you do seems to make her brain light up– with her quite literally describing a lightbulb turning on in her head– and allows her to get back her spark. She'll sneak in lyrics alluding to you and your inspiring existence.

If you're having trouble sleeping or relaxing, she sings to you. Her voice is soothing and soft, even without the guitar and poppy music, it's quick to put you to sleep. She has a song for just about everything (usually trending towards romantic, poetic, and dreamy), and sings whatever you request, even making songs up on the fly.

Though she tries to hide it, Parfait Cookie is quite anxious and awkward. You occasionally have to walk her through nerve-wracking experiences and give her pep talks. She knows her own worth but that doesn't mean she isn't nervous about it. Sometimes you'll walk in on her hyping herself up and practicing in front of the mirror, reassuring herself that she was popular and cool. She's very embarrassed when she notices you're there.

Puts on a very peppy and outgoing persona in public but is quite awkward and quiet in private. A bit of a nerd, especially when it comes to music. She infodumps about all the song ideas she has, and any musical factoids that pop up mid-conversation.

Happily listens to any advice you might have on songwriting or lyric suggestions. Even if you aren't musically inclined, she values your words greatly and takes all of them into consideration. She also asks for your opinion and input on certain lyrics or instrumentation.

"Should I change this? Pitch it up a little? How does it sound now?"

Doesn't mind PDA and actually takes delight in showing you off in public. Practically clings to your arm, holding your hand or looping an arm around your shoulders. If PDA isn't your thing, she's happy with just being close to you, happily leaning into you whenever you speak.

When you're apart, she sends lots of letters lovingly (and overwhelmingly) decorated with bright colors and plenty of hearts. Uses glittery gel pens. She also calls you "just to say hi" (she just really wants to hear your voice) and gifts you souvenirs from her tours.

Shamelessly steals your clothes, mostly oversized coats or shirts but also enjoys wearing regular-fitting clothes. She wears your shirts just to see your reaction, a small smile on her face.

Parfait owns tons of soft things– pillows, blankets, plushies, all of it! She doesn't mind sharing and is more than happy to cuddle up next to you under an ultra-soft pile of blankets and take a well deserved nap.

You're each other's biggest fans. You attend every performance that you can and she cheers you on in whatever path you've chosen, especially if that path is music.

If you're a musician, she invites you to sit with her and brainstorm lyrics and compositions. You bounce ideas off each other and use each other for inspiration. Though Parfait Cookie prides herself on being a solo artist, she's more than happy to invite you to collaborate with her and perform together. Anything that draws more crowds and fans is a win.

[ourunspokenepithets]

The Made Up Wedding Vows of a Starving Teenager To Her Equally Made Up Girlfriend

"Did you know that in Japan it's considered polite to fluff up rice for the person after you and that once it's finished cooking, white rice is supposed to be mixed so that the grains don't stick to each other?"

That the first time I fell in love with you Was when I realised that you fluffed up our rice On my request (that night), Now routine in our little house Because of that factoid.

Similarly I, a devout believer in the religion of dried oregano, allspice, and and other dead things Use your garden's fresh green chillis in my grilled cheese and laugh at you during dinner and not the TV.

If it was just us at breakfast (like it always is when I say these things Still drunk on the ethereal feeling Of waking up against you, feather-light kisses in the morning) I'd end it here. But we stand here, on an altar On the precipice of living our whole life. Together.

Or In Other words, Mi Amore: I want to have all your candle-lit dinners Feed you all my cookie recipes, Finally buy us that sourdough starter. Make your cat those instagram dog bowls From when we were teenagers. Call our friends over with charcuterie boards And summer salads And Pot Lucks And Night Caps that aren't alcohol but Hot chocolate doused in cookies (It's the other way round. Something about you makes me lose my breath, my tongue.)

Furthermore, I would like to have all your hugs. Love every part of each other, Tread gentle- On my stretch marks On your butter-marble sculpted love handles. (Kill the voices of our mothers) To travel the world with you. Which entails: Serendipity chocolate in December, Cacio E Pepe at Vapiano's Eggs from Here & Now Every Goddamned Summer.

I do not know much about marriage, or the raising of a family, or the making of egg roses. This is okay. I Can Learn.

Because Once, I knew nothing but hunger And Now, We have a thousand meals ahead of us.

[adoptsomecookies]

Fire Spirit Cookies are the most numerous and outgoing legendaries out so far, commonly interacting with non-cookie beings and actively helping out occasionally in communities even when not adopted into a home. Due to this, they're much more widely accepted and have more freedom than other, 'wilder' legendaries, but aren't often allowed in cookie rest stops due to their tendencies to burn everything they touch when overexcited (excluding lord of ash variants, but are kept out of rest stops anyways to be safe).

Fire Spirit Cookies are also surprisingly choosy with who adopts them, so they've made it into a little game! Depending on what human they choose, they will constantly pester and dart around the human, should they successfully capture the fire spirit, he will then declare they are now family and will allow himself to be taken to his new home. This sort of game can vary on difficulty depending on what variant you're trying to capture, since they come in four seperate variants, Normal, Lord of Ash, Lord of Flame, and the rarer Immortal Cataclysm variant, each variant has a usual difficulty of capture, normal Fire Spirit Cookies are pretty average in difficulty, lord of ash variants are the easiest, usually having no energy to move, if at all, lord of flames variants are always on the move and don't usually fall for the heat pad trick, making them the most difficult to capture, and Immortal Cataclysm variants are the most unpredictable, being a mix of both lord of ash and lord of flame variants, but the drawback is that they only appear in areas that has frequent major fires, such as near volcanos or large areas of dry shrubbery when ignoring they could be moping one moment, and zooming the next, in any case, Fire Spirits are a good addition to many households, though maybe don't put them with a sea fairy...

Fire Spirit Cookies also love to gather in groups to share and conserve magic reserves during colder months, though will do it during warmer days as well, its not uncommon to find a colony of fire spirit cookies in basements or attics within abandoned buildings, or hiding within nooks and crannies created by rock formations or abandoned animal dens, a colony can consist of 5 to a whopping 20 indivuduals. Groups of fire spirits also have names, small groups are called hearths, and larger groups are called a bonfire (ex: a bonfire of fire spirits was found in the attic, a hearth of fire spirits was found near a cookie rest stop).

[hournites]

Bake it till you make it

for @theozmachronicles

Hournite Week Day 7 - Romantic Comedy 

~.~ 

Beth heaves a weary sigh, closing her books from the study session a half hour after the JSA meeting at the garage. “Great.”

Rick sneaks a look at her from his desk. She’s not one to be so pessimistic or downtrodden at all.

At first, Rick ignores it because he gets her, this English assignment is ridiculous, but then she gets up and announces she’s going to leave because she has to bake. She makes it sound like a death sentence.

Rick’s brows knit together. “You love baking.”

“Not exactly,” she mutters.

Rick begins to scoff, which turns into a laugh-cough when she shoots him an unimpressed glare.

Is she serious? Beth—the only girl Rick knows who brings homemade three-course meals in sectioned containers for lunch and had somewhat run a soup kitchen working around her parents' work schedules for years—was trying to tell Rick she’s not a fan of being in the kitchen? “Uh, yes. Yes, you do!”

“Not for this.” Beth lets out another sigh and starts to explain. “Before we were a part of the JSA, I signed myself up as a Prairie Dog Bake Sale Member.”

Rick stares. Rick is smarter than he looks, but more times than not he probably appears dumb next to someone as all-around bright as Beth. He tries to correct that by at least half-pretending he knows what new obscure factoid she’s talking about to carry on a conversation with her. This is not one of those times he can fake it. “And that is…?”

“It’s for volunteer credit. You bake at least 3 dozen batches of separate baked goods for bake sales. I used to do it with my mom and dad. I liked doing it together because it was family bonding but now….” She doesn’t finish and she doesn’t have to. According to Beth, the Chapels are always either too busy or too involved. Never in between.

Rick stares down at his essay outline and thinks about how much he doesn’t want to write it. “You need some help or something?”

Beth immediately perks up. “You want to come over?” She grins. Rick would throw himself in a heap of flour and baking soda if it meant that grin stayed on her face. So that settles what they’re doing after JSA training that afternoon, clearly.

~.~

They were going to be making brownies (nut-free), cookies (gluten-free) and cupcakes that Beth pulls out five hundred different toppings, icing tubes and decorations for, so Rick assumes they won’t be free of anything.

He stands in her large kitchen with his hands awkwardly hanging by his sides as she gets organized. He already tried opening five different cupboards only to find nothing he was looking for, so Beth explains how her kitchen is set up. Rick’s sat on her porch to pick her up for school over a hundred times but never has he found himself actually inside of her house. It all feels very sleek and expensive.

All of the measuring cups, mixing bowls, pans and trays are compartmentalized just so. He watches Beth hum to herself as she occasionally consults the massive recipe book.

“Sorry,” she keeps saying, shooting glances over her shoulder at him as she arranges everything together. “I’ll have it together in a moment—You should see what it’s like baking with Chuck, he lists the ingredients and steps out right in front of me, it makes all the setup so easy.”

Rick would kind of like to see it. “We can still do it that way.”

“Oh, I suppose, but…” She wrinkles her nose. “It’s not very inclusive for you. We should do it the old-fashioned way.”

He picks up one of the containers of sugar from her pantry that she placed beside him. “Do you want me to start with the dry ingredients and—”

“Oh, no, that’s okay. You can just mix stuff!”

She makes a grab at the sugar, but Rick just grips on tighter, his mouth agape. “I am not useless in the kitchen, Beth!”

Beth reels back and blinks at him, needing the second to process. “Wait, you really want to bake?”

“Why else am I here?”

“I’m sorry,” she says yet again. Rick quirks an amused eyebrow. He doesn’t think anyone ever apologized to him so much before, if ever. “I just assumed you wanted to keep me company.”

“No?” What did she think he was going to do? Watch her sweat over the oven while he ate grapes or something? What the hell? “I’m helping.”

She lets out a tiny breath. Rick can tell she’s wonderfully pleased. He flips over the recipe book page for the brownies, trying not to smile to himself. “Do you want me to take these and you do the cookies?”

Beth stands on her tiptoes, trying to see the book in his hands. Rick lowers it and she peers over. “Sure, if you want? I can print the steps out so we don’t have to keep flipping back and forth.”

“Cool.”

Rick is pulling brownies out of the oven nearly an hour later, wearing bright orange oven mitts with the Blue Valley Medical Centre insignia printed on them.

“I think they’re done this time.”

He had tested them ten minutes before, as Beth warned her oven ran hot, but it needed a few extra minutes.

The oven beeps incessantly. He drops the brownies on the cooling rack and shoves one of the mitts under his arm. He presses the off button over and over with no success in cutting off the piercing noise. This oven is freakin’ fancy with all of its conventional settings and shit. An annoyed growl escapes his throat. “How do I turn this damn thing off again?”

Beth spins in her apron, yellow, and still covered in the brown sugar Rick accidentally spilled on her in a crossfire; she was backing up from the kitchen island with her batch in her hands as he was concentrating on levelling the one-cup with a knife—It was a hilarious disaster.

Her cookies are already packed and stored away. The dry ingredients for the cupcakes are just mixed in with the wet on her counter. “Double press on cook time,” she instructs.

The warm smell of chocolate lures her in. She holds the handle of the oven, eyes bright, enchanted by the perfect brownie tin.

Rick drops the oven mitts to the side and inspects it with a toothpick Beth laid out. He admires the nearly clean toothpick with only a few wet crumbs, incredibly smug. “Told you I could—Hey!”

Rick snatches Beth’s wrist from picking at the hot tray. She stills, caught red-handed. Her brown eyes pool even darker as she sucks in a breath, sheepish. “I just want a taste!”

“No! It hasn’t cooled yet!”

He’s acutely aware that he’s still holding her wrist. It’s soft and warm in his grasp. Rick lets go and flushes, thinking desperately about anything that’s not the adorable wide-eyed look she gave him for her desperate plea for brownies. “I mean—I thought these were for the bake sale, anyway.”

Beth doesn’t say anything. She just brushes her hands against her apron before side-glancing up at him.

Nice going, Rick. He snapped at her over brownies and now she’s going to kick him out of her house and never invite him over again.

In the awkward silence, Rick starts to panic as Beth continues to serve a completely unreadable expression. “I’m an asshole,” he blurts out after moving the brownie batter bowl and spatula, to open drawers to find a server and knife to fix everything and cut her a square. “You can try the brownies, this is your kitchen and—”

Beth laughs.

Rick freezes, slowly turning around. “You’re not mad.” His shoulders slump with relief and he wipes his forehead with the back of his palm.

“You’re a Gordon Ramsey!”

“I’m not!”

“You are!” She nods, covering her mouth with both hands, unable to help the eruption of giggles that follow. “And you just smeared chocolate batter in your hair!”

“What?” He reaches up and finds his hand sticky. He splutters. “So? You’re covered in sugar!” he shoots back.

Beth gasps out another startled laugh. “That’s not the same thing! You bumped into me!”

Rick smirks with a terrible idea. “Wanna make it even, then?” He reaches for her with his messy hands but she evades him with a yelp, dancing around the kitchen island. “Don’t! It’s too soon for another wash day!”

Rick doesn’t know what a wash day is and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask.  Either way, he isn’t planning to actually throw ingredients in her face, but still steps forward just to see what she’d do. Her shriek is worth it.

She grabs a whisk from off the table to defend herself and fixes her stance very much as though they were suited up in battle.

“Rick, I mean it!” She points her whisk at the sink. “Wash it off! Now!”

Rick’s feet walk him over to the sink automatically. It’s gotta be something to do with Beth ordering him around. It’s best not to think about it too hard.

~.~

Rick groans at his third failed icing rose in a row. Beth, on the other hand, has perfectly frosted twelve blue daisies. Her hand is steady and her gaze is focused on her cupcake handiwork. Her tongue sticks out just a bit, eyes squinting as she appraises the pattern. Rick lowers his disaster cake to lean his chin on his palm at the island and watch her.

“You’re really good at this.”

Beth smiles without taking her eyes off the cupcake. Her hand turns to get a new angle, finishing off the last petal with a thick layer. “Thank you!”

She takes a look at Rick’s progress. She does a double take but smooths her instant mirth over with a quick smile. “Yours is good too!”

He rolls his eyes.

“It just takes practice.” Beth hands him another plain vanilla one. “I’ve been doing this with my parents for so long, that’s why my lines are good. When is the last time you decorated a cupcake?”

“Beth. You know, as it is plainly obvious, I have never decorated a cupcake.”

“Which makes this a phenomenal first attempt. You’ll get the hang of it!”

She shows him her technique again and Rick copies her very sloppily. He stares down at his mess and decides to run it over with a knife and smother it with toppings instead like oreo bits and MnMs.

Beth flashes him two thumbs up when he presents his new and improved decorating method. “It looks great!”

Now he knows she’s just being nice on purpose. Rick studies his work. He thinks this would give someone instant cavities. “It’s not too much?”

“Why don’t you try it out?”

He slides it over. “Why don’t you?”  

“Oh, so now you’re letting me try?” she teases, peeling back the paper liner. She bites into it and makes a happy sound.

Rick leans in again, captivated. He rests his head against his arm, letting the other hang off the table, enjoying the taste test a bit too much. She’s as bright as ever, unable to stop taking more bites. Beth must be a chocoholic. Rick loves finding out tiny facts like this about her.

“It’s that good?”

“Mmm!”

He grins into his palm.

“Oh my gosh,” she manages out a few bites later, her mouth full. “I need water.”

Rick gets a glass. “I’m poisoning you.”

“No!” she insists after the longest gulp of water Rick’s ever seen. “It’s very thick. Intense.” She chews some more. “Rich.” She lights up. “That’s it! We’re calling these Rick’s Riches!”

“I wasn’t aware that cupcakes need to have names.”

“They do now.” Beth finishes off the cupcake and scrunches up the wrapper. She’s got cookie crumbs on her mouth. She starts naming off other name ideas for the brownies and cookies to provide on labels for the bake sale, but Rick can no longer concentrate. He feels her breath stop on his thumb when he reaches out with a napkin, brushing it off.

Beth swallows. “Rick.” She touches her lips.

“Uh.” He doesn’t know why he did that. “You had some..oreo dust.”

He sinks in his seat, abashed. It made so much more sense to brush the crumbs from her mouth in his head. In his head, where he couldn’t actually feel her face with his touch. The softness of her lips, the roundness of her cheek like he just did now. Rick squeezes the napkin into his fist with his other hand.  

“Thanks,” she says.

He is making this weird. Rick clumsily gets on his feet. “I should—”

“You don’t have to go.” She mumbles something else under her breath. Rick doesn’t catch it.

“What?”

“I didn’t mind it, I said.” Beth is looking anywhere but at Rick. Before he can even register that, she shoots him another nervous glance and then bolts out of her seat for the opposite end of the kitchen.

“You know what? Silly me, we need to clean up!” She pushes a broom into his empty hands. “Clean! Clean, clean, clean.” She finds a sponge for herself and starts scrubbing the island surface like a neat freak.

Rick grips onto the broom unable to do anything—Think anything but her words. A different kind of sickening sweetness twists in his stomach. She’s still going at it, the spot isn’t even sticky anymore. He’s never wanted to kiss a girl so badly in his life.

“Beth? Can we talk?”

“About the cupcakes? Sure!” she chirps, “I was thinking Classic Kooks for the gluten-free and—”

“That sounds fine. I meant about us.”

Her voice falters. “Us?”

“Like….What just happened….”

She shrugs so casually that Rick knows it’s being faked. “What’s there to say?”

A silly smile spreads across Rick’s face as she gets more and more flustered, chattering circles around what she just admitted.

The embarrassment gets to her and she stops huffing. “So what that I said that I liked that you touched my lips? It was with a napkin and I like to be clean! It’s not that big a big deal!”

“Okay,” Rick says, still smiling.

“It’s not!” she insists.

He sets the broom against the island and steps forward.

“I don’t see you sweeping anything. Why are you putting the broom down? That’s the opposite of—Mmph!”

Beth’s eyes grow cross-eyed at the smashed dusty rose cupcake to her mouth. She gapes and gasps, eyelashes blinking fast up at him in total shock. A chunk of icing drops on her shoe.

“Oops,” Rick says. “Let me get that.” He foregoes the napkin, wiping some icing clean with his thumb. He slows the movement when she halts him. Her wrist on his hand, still on her face. The current in her eyes rises like a challenge.

“Don’t make me,” she warns, voice dropped to a breath of a whisper.

“Make you what?” Rick tries to ask innocently but before he could get the full sentence out, Beth wiped her sticky mouth and smeared cupcake icing right across his face.

“Get even.”

The sponge falls from her hands. She grabs Rick instead, kissing him with her frosty lips, yellow apron pressing flour into his shirt. Her hands catch in his hair and it feels perfect. Rick kisses back, embracing the sweetness and the cake and the way Beth clings to him in the kitchen of her house, the realness of it all. They are never coming back from here. Rick is never coming back and it doesn’t matter if that’s nerve-wracking, in terms of stopping, he doesn’t want to.

“Beth?” Dr. Chapel stands at the doorway in her lab coat, surveying the mess in her kitchen and on their faces. “…Hello Rick.”

Rick turns around, scrubbing uselessly at his face. If it weren’t pink from the icing, it would’ve turned so from sheer embarrassment. Beth reaches for his hand still, slowly unfurling every tightly clenched finger one by one.

“I came home early for Prairie Dog bake sale prep…” She raises a paper bag of ingredients. “…But I see you have that handled.”

“We were—”

“I don’t need the details,” she says. “As long as my kitchen gets cleaned up after yourselves.”

Rick gulps. “Yes, Dr. Chapel.”

“And Rick?” Her mother blinks at him. “If you’re going to make a habit of re-enacting romantic comedies with my daughter, please call me Bridget.” She sets down the groceries. “I’m showering off the hospital funk. Save me a cookie, please. And some brownies for your father."

They stand in absolute silence after her mother leaves.

Rick rubs the back of his neck. "We should probably, uh. Do what your mom said. Clean up."

Beth shakes her head. "It's supposed to be three dozen per treat."

"Oh." Rick calculates the sheer amount of cookies and cupcakes that would take. "We're going to be here all night."

Beth grins and leads them to the kitchen sink, dunking a towel under warm water. She brings it to Rick's face, dabbing at the pink streaks and sprinkles from his eyebrows. "I don't think I'll mind."

[sammywolfgirl]

Might fuck around and just list off various factoids and headcanons relating to cookie ocs

[pigspeetsandhooflikefeets]

victorian child voice hi can you please give me Guy factoids (and headcanons if you want)

sure. I've kept tabs on this man plenty and a lot of the facts make me happy

Guy is tall, at least in one way or another, as he states people have called him "longfellow". that's another tern for a tall man

One of Guy's other nicknames is "Roberta". he asks you not to question it

He claims to have never read a book in its full, but is great at writing essays and busy work, as he got an A in high school English for a book he read cliff notes on. it is to be noted that Guy brings books to the beach. it's unknown what he does with the books. it's possible he gets bored and never stops halfway

He mentions only a single girl he's dated (Maria Bouncer). Every other woman he mentions bails on him before the date is over (usually due to random things; cringe)

He loves trees and frogs, and dares you to say something bad about either.

He never mentions currently having pets. He shares this fact with Buzz and Nate.

Guy's favourite foods include mint milkshakes, Pringles, and milk by itself. Whatever makes him happy I guess!

Guy LOVES kissing. He makes a LOT of jokes about kissing just about anyone, from hockey players to his opponent in squash. He also alludes to enjoying other people kissing.

He denies stalking his jogging neighbor

As a child, he played peewee baseball/t-ball. his coach had... unique opinions on him.

He knows a few Yiddish phrases, which isn't special since almost all the hosts do, but it's a very hard to trigger line. You need everyone to get the Fiber Optic Field Trip question from the puppeteer wrong. The hardest part for me was recognizing the phrase actually.

Guy cannot tell Spanish, French, and German apart. He shares this fact with Buzz. Guy also hates Latin.

His family is implied to be dysfunctional and quick to argue, but he very rarely talks about anyone in it at all. His entire family hates one of his grandfathers, saying he's his grandmother's shame.

Like Cookie and Schmitty, he wears glasses (as shown in his single on-screen performance). It's unknown why he needs glasses, but it's entirely possibly he needs reading glasses, as he struggles to read some cards.

As for headcanons

Guy is bisexual (heavily implied but never confirmed, ya know). He was attracted to men before he was attracted to women (when you're surrounded by guys your age in sports it just happens)

Guy can float, but he cannot swim well. Would he drown, no, but if you asked him to do laps it'd take forever.

Guy's worst performing sport of the four big sports (football/soccer, baseball, hockey, American football) is football/soccer. High power, low control.

Guy went to college for a sports broadcasting degree. He was scouted for YDKJ during a sports game he did commentary on near (but not in) Chicago, giving the game way more flavour than it deserved

He is the youngest child. Besides his obvious youngest-child-energy, I simply headcanon Bob as his oldest brother, and since Bob mentions a younger sister, Guy's sister is the middle child. I have designed all three of these characters and not one of the 3 most reoccurring hosts. Wowie Zow.

Guy is heavily implied to have both autism, dyslexia, and some form of depression. He vocally stims (random singing and making weird vocal inflections), not recognizing boundaries or sarcasm (such as his relationship with Cookie), and is overly empathetic. Guy additionally is horrible at spelling and remembering directions (mixing up North and South frequently) and cannot get into books/reading long passages. Additionally, Guy has frequent dramatic outbursts that don't feel faked like some other hosts. He'll cry on a dime and has multiple occurrences where he has suicidal thought. Therapy. Therapy for Guy.

My interp of Guy that is 25% horse and resembles a horse satyr is not a headcanon, but a warning.

[whippedcreamcookie]

hi so we all know about this interesting line whipped says, and probably like 99% of us know that the tree in question whipped is referring to is of course the millennial tree!

but. notice how he says “trees”, not just “a tree”... hmmm what does this mean... i wonder.

[neapolinyan]

“parfait cookie's dreams started with one single pink guitar.” - parfait cookie’s loading screen factoid

broke: rockstar and parfait are rivals and rockstar hates parfait for making people forget about him

INCREDIBLY woke: rockstar and parfait are siblings and he’s proud of her for how quickly she’s growing