Ok, so Muppet AU! Every ability user in canon is a muppet, except for Dazai, who nullifies both abilities and the physical state of being a muppet!
Now that that’s established:
Bram is already kind of a muppet, right?
(Whenever Bram spreads the vampirism, the newly infected muppet just gains a pair of glued-in fangs)
Corruption is just muppet-Chuuya on a string, being swung wildly about like the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Imagine you are a muppet for as long as you can remember, and then one weird human pokes you, and suddenly you are also human for the first time alsksjdjf
Oh and the best part of this AU is Ranpo!!! Because if Fukuzawa convinced Ranpo that he had an ability when he was fifteen, then that means that Fukuzawa simultaneously had to convince a human boy that he was a muppet.
And Ranpo believes this for years.
Ranpo, a human man: “Haha, I have the best ability in the agency! >:D”
Atsushi, a tiger-muppet who has just learned how all this works:
This morning's chore is adding wood mulch next to the coop! I weedeated last night to jumpstart the process.
Using the buckets has been the best tools to use for this project! I can't get my lawn mower around the coop safely (or without getting stuck). I tried to dump chips at the beginning and spread them out, but that became more work than I wanted.
I've already carved a decent chunk out of the pile. I'm hoping to do a few more rounds before the sun gets too intense.
i'd like to confess that a while ago when i was playing artificer i got one of the dream sequences, then proceeded to feed one of my kids to a vulture and then throw the other off a fucking cliff
The chickens were all inside thankfully, and the bear seemed very…nonchalant, like it was just curious rather than actively trying to hunt. And when I started yelling and clapping my hands it ran off. Wild, my neighbors say there’s a mama bear with cubs living on their property, but I’ve never seen one here myself!
I'm so fuckin nuts my family was planning to go out shopping today like at the mall and stuff and to get dinner but my mom lifted smthn too heavy a few weeks ago and she thinks she like reinjured it or smthn cuz it hurts too much so we're gonna go another time like between tomorrow and next Friday depending on what they say at the doctor but I hate having plans that I know abt for awhile and like waiting for them, including holidays etc, it makes it hard for me to sleep cuz I'm too wound up it's like anxiety inducing almost, even tho it's almost always smthn I'm exclusively looking forward to, and no matter if it's a big thing or not, and it like... Makes it into my dreams sometimes even, and it's so upsetting to me when stuff like that gets canceled, it's like the one post that's like "I built my entire personality around going out today" or whatever like I was just looking forward to it but I like. Cried and shit why am I crazy