#correction: they do have thoughts but they avoid thinking about it too hard bc it hurts their head

[impossible-rat-babies]

rotating Halone in my brain case tonight fellas

[molsno]

Your post on transandrophobia was the first time i'd heard of it and it from just reading your post it made sense why it couldn't be real. But i didnt want to adopt a new belief against something without looking into why people are for it. Upon reading many other posts and doing a bunch of thinking i now have a few thoughts on your post id appreciate your input on as you seem understanding and extremely well-read

please correct me if i'm wrong, but your argument against transandrophobia is that transandrophobia as the combination of androphobia/misandry and transphobia (to mirror transmisogyny being a combination of misogyny and transphobia) cannot exist because androphobia/misandry does not exist

you are completely correct that misandry does not exist in the same systemic way that misogyny does, it would be idiotic to argue otherwise, but our current system of gender stereotypes/expectations does also negatively impact men. Men are seen as inherently violent, dangerous, emotionless, and too sexual. (ie. men aren't belived when victims of rape bc/they must've enjoyed it, men are more likely to be incarcerated)

Men's Rights Activists and people like them were wrong in believing they suffered more than women and that women gaining rights was the cause of their suffering, but they did correctly identify that men also suffered from the patriarchy (and im forever gonna be salty that they were so close to understanding but instead of engaging in solidarity they decided to be misogynist about it)

When combined with other forms of oppression the often excused or ignored negative associations with masculinity are viewed as horrible problems

For example black men have to constantly make themselves less threatening when near white women because it is assumed they have malicious intent. Historically many many black men have been lynched in order to 'protect' white women. Yes it was very much racism, but it wasn't a coincidence that black men were the victims far more than black women.

Lesbians have historically been seen as inherently masculine therefore dangerous and predatory. The same associations now are used to justify transwomen being banned from women's spaces because they must be inherently masculine therefore inherently sexually predatory.

There is a narrative that Testosterone should be avoided for transmascs because it will make them into ugly violent monsters.

In specifically queer spaces there is often a strong stigma against being proud to be masculine. Which makes sense as most of the groups and people who have been openly proud of their masculinity before have been actively advocating for the elimination of queer people, but masculinity in itself is not anti-queer and shouldn't be treated as such.

There are many transmasc struggles seperate from transfem struggles that could potentially be more accurately described as an intersection of misogyny and transphobia, such as the infantilization and denial of control over our bodies, but because transfem people have established transmisogyny as a term to talk about their struggles and because there are several struggles resulting from our specifically trans masculinity, transandrophobia was chosen instead to not encroach on transfem's space while still having the ability to speak about our struggles.

thank you if you actually spent the time to read this and i genuinely hope you have a great day :]

thank you for being open to criticism with these ideas but oof, there's a lot to unpack here. frankly, I find it a little hard to believe you'd never heard the word transandrophobia before, considering you're regurgitating all of its talking points. you say that misandry doesn't exist at a systemic level, but then all of these points are framed as if it does. we'll go through that, but first, some foundations:

our current gender system may negatively impact men in a few narrow circumstances, but it is ultimately self-inflicted (even if some women do uphold it), and still benefits them. men are perceived as violent, dangerous, and too sexual because they continue to perpetuate a gender system that oppresses women with sexual violence. still, to this day, marital rape is not punished with the same severity as non-marital rape. still, to this day, women stay in abusive relationships out of fear that their boyfriends/husbands will commit acts of violence against them if they try to leave.

do you understand? violence, and ESPECIALLY sexual violence, is a tool men wield to maintain power, sometimes over other men, but especially over women. they wield this tool voluntarily because it benefits them, even if it does have its drawbacks in some circumstances. violence is punishable under the law, which is why men who perpetrate violence against other men tend to be incarcerated at higher rates than men who perpetrate violence against women. after all, women aren't considered full human beings with equal rights, so violence against them isn't a severe offense. our society was structured around the premise that women are men's property with which they can do whatever they want. that's why, for instance, when men are raped by women, they aren't believed; the very concept of a woman wielding sexual power over men is unthinkable in the eyes of society.

misogyny is one of the oldest forms of oppression - it's existed since nearly the dawn of society itself, and has existed in cultures all over the world for thousands of years. as a result, it is baked into the very foundation of society. if your analysis of gendered systems doesn't begin from this basic fact, then your analysis is incorrect.

certainly, men uphold very rigid, overly-restrictive notions of masculinity which can harm them in some cases, but this "toxic masculinity" as it's come to be known is really just a means of threatening other men with transmisogyny. I've written a whole post about it here.

with all of that out of the way, let's go through the rest of your examples of supposed misandry one by one.

first, while you are correct that there is a long history of violence being enacted upon black men because they are perceived as a threat to white women, the cause of this phenomenon is just racism. as you will recall in an earlier paragraph, I stated that men are perceived as violent and dangerous because they uphold a system of sexual ownership over women. any man that may pose a threat to another man's ownership over a woman must be punished with violence. now, black people regardless of gender are seen as hypersexual in this white supremacist society, so when it comes to black men in particular, they are perceived as being more likely to threaten a white man's ownership over a white woman - hence the amount of violence they face.

now, I need to say, I'm white, and while I do my best to learn about racism and how it intersects with other forms of oppression, my understanding will always be limited by my privilege as a white person. I've never experienced racism and I never will, so I don't have the full nuance to explain this topic in particular that comes with lived experience. that being said, I find it very callous and cruel that transandrophobia truthers repeatedly use the violence black men face as "proof" of their beliefs, especially because they act like black women aren't also subjected to racist violence, which they very much are. here's a thread by two black bloggers about this topic that I think discusses this phenomenon better than I ever could - be sure to check the read more link in it.

moving on, your point about lesbians and trans women (note the space) is, frankly, extremely insulting. misandry is not a part of my oppression. people don't hate me because I'm masculine, they hate me because I'm a tranny. they hate me SPECIFICALLY because I reject manhood in its entirety. they hate me because my very existence calls into question the validity of the assumptions that 1. there are two opposite mutually exclusive genders with absolutely no overlap and 2. manhood and masculinity is inherently superior to womanhood and femininity. that's why they portray people like me as a threat to cis women. if I'm free to exist in the way that makes me happiest, then the gender system that gives men absolute unchecked power over women will crumble. lesbians are also reviled and viewed as predatory for their rejection of subservience to men and their attraction to women, which - again, threatens men's control over them.

I'm going to go out of order here and address your point about queer spaces being hostile to masculinity. it just isn't true. I've never seen a single person provide an adequate explanation for how there is a stigma in queer spaces against masculinity that wasn't just lesbophobia and transmisogyny in disguise. it always boils down to "waah lesbians and trans women are mean to men and people who like men :(", a la this post.

now, last but not least, your points about transmascs. they're discouraged from transitioning because we live in a transphobic society. there is nothing unique about that. transfems are subjected to the exact same rhetoric.

transmascs do not experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. they may experience both of these, but they are not intersecting, and any assertion to the contrary demonstrates an abysmal understanding of intersection, whether willfully or not. I've already written another post about this exact topic.

I hope this was helpful, but for future reference, I'm going to say this: most women are not going to be so patient and understanding when you approach them with a giant wall of text asking them to explain misogyny to you. I did not have to do any of this for you, and you shouldn't expect me to. I've already written and reblogged many posts about the topics you've brought up here, as you've seen, and you could have easily found most of them by looking through my writing and transmisogyny tags. I hope you have a good day, but please do not do this again.

[dazedloli]

you know lolicons are pedophillic right? why should an adult be attracted to someone who genuinely looks and acts like a child?

adults who LOOK young DO deserve love and aren't innately endorsing this!! however you are playing into it heavily. i've followed you for a bit and i've watched the way you talk slowly devolve into childlike mush when i know at the beginning you were posting in fully correct spelling and grammar

why the sudden change? why call yourself a loli instead of age regressing (which has no sexual associations)? i've been watching you toe the line between calling yourself a loli and actually loli pedo shit and it looks like you're finally falling into enabling pedophilia

i know you likely won't right now but one day i want you to start really thinking hard about why someone would be attracted to things that remind them of children and be sexually into someone who looks like a child because of that fact.

Tbh I considered not replying bc this just hurt me

I call myself a Loli bc of trauma.. since u said u follow me since long ago then u probably read the post where I sadly spoke about my trauma with pedo rings and pedophilia and being called a Loli and treated in sexual manner over it .. I've always looked younger than I am which caused everyone to treat me like a weird monster that'd never get proper love, I am more childish due to autism, I never developed properly, knowing someone that genuinely loves me finds me attractive regardless of it is.. nice

At the beginning of this blog.. my pinned was a way more intense cutesy way of speaking, most of my posts were me losing my mind, crying, having breakdown aftwr breakdown bc I was without the one person I loved, I tried to push the way I was when happy away to hopefully hopefully not be as dependant and childlike as I was.. bc I didn't know how I'd survive alone whilst being the way I am

My grammar is the same it's always been, I misspell more bc I'm too tired to check every post meticulously to maek sure it's properly worded

I am 19, I am not condoning pedophilia.. I'm an adult, I behave the way I do, I look the way I do, dress the way I do, but I am an adult, and I deserve to feel loved by my partner regardless of my traits, and if you tell me "but he shouldn't love you for them" then ur a bit silly because I am me, I can't change the way I am..

I don't endorse pedophilia, just today I had a very long talk w Bfie about how much we hate the fact that lolicon artists' work always ends up being in MAP and pedophilic circles, about how we think Loli hentai is weird as hell and censorship should be allowed..

I don't speak in mush, I don't know what of my speech to u looks like mush, but I'd just like to tell u that I have no idea what you were trying to achieve w this, all u managed to achieve was make me have a breakdown

I have so much trauma of people giving me shit over how I am, who I am, what I am, I tried for ages to be more Grown Up to avoid the backlash and the disgusted looks and the comments and the insults on the way I am, I spent years crying myself to sleep bc I felt useless for being who I am, bc I thought I was just the byproduct of childhood trauma, bc I'd never be a normal grown up adult due to the fact that I was forced to freeze my mind at such a young age..

I don't know rly what u wanted to achieve, maybe u wanted an apology, maybe u wanted me to say Yeah ur right I'm a pedophile, maybe u wanted me to say Yeah my boyfriend is a pedophile bc he finds me attractive, but that's not what you'll get.. I did nothing wrong, I don't sexualize kids, all I do is be in a relationship, and be myself in that relationship

Don't like my blog? Leave it.. I don't post for other people, I post my thoughts for myself, I don't even post about my childish interests or stuff ever bc I worry it'd creep people out, I keep that for between me and Bfie, my blog doesn't reblog sexual ddlg, it doesn't reblog cgl, it doesn't reblog fauxcest, all I do is talk about loving my partner and occasionally drawing myself

I never once have ever posted anything that might endorse someone to go out and molest a child

And as someone who was victim of pedos, when I was a very young kid, shame on you for thinking I condone that

[enmi-land]

HIII DIAA soooo I need some tips on how to write good from an extremely talented writer like you 🤭 I think you mentioned multiple times that you're Australian so that means you're a native speaker and well, I'm not 😭😭😭 so I just want an advice from a person whose first language is English (cmiiw!)

HI ANONNIE!! 🌟🌟 AHHH HOLD ON this is so nerve wrecking 🫣🫣 first of all tho I’m rlly honoured that you asked me of all ppl for writing advice 😭 it’s rlly so sweet that you thought of me when thinking of good writers to lranr from and I hope I can be of help 🌸✨ but yes you’re correct!! i am a native speaker so it makes it easier for me 🌷 idk what kind of advice you want but ig i’ll just offer basic tips ✨✨

write what comes naturally to you!! when you have an idea of what you want to write, in the middle fo writing it, it may change a little from what you had in mind, but if that’s the case don’t worry too much and just continue to follow whatever flow comes to you first since that most likely going to be the more natural option to write!! in other words: don’t think too much as you’re actually writing. in the worst case scenario, you can always go back and edit. but if you keep thinking too much about what you rlly wanted before writing, you might just end up with an empty page with nothing onto it. so yeah, follow your instincts!! ✨

don’t try too hard to make it sound good on the first go!! like i mentioned before, you can always go back and edit it, but if you’re first starting out, you may try and focus more on making the words sound pretty. trust me, that becomes easier with practice, but it’s okay if you don’t sound like Shakespeare. i try to avoid looking up synonyms as much as possible. like it’s okay to be simple, especially if you’re not a published writer or anything. the important thing is whether or not readers understand what you’re trying to say—so as long as you’re clear as possible, then you’ve already done a good job. after all, writing is all about communication and sharing stories; if it’s overly complicated and flowery writing—especially if most of it is forced—than ppl may just grow annoyed with it and drop it, meaning all your hard work would go to waste. so yeah: sometimes, simple rlly is the best.

don’t force yourself to write!! if you get wrifter’s block, try using a prompt generator or even just writing in dot points before going into full sentences. but if you still can’t write anything, then come back to it later. it’s okay if you don’t meet a deadline—you’re not being graded on your works and you’re not getting paid either, so don’t put too much pressure to get something finished against your own will, bc in the end that may just cause you to get burnt out or even to put out smth that you just don’t feel is as good as you want it to be. if a certain chapter is bothering you, try working on a different one until you feel like you can finish it. but if you don’t feel like writing in general, then just come back when you do. the most rewarding thing about writing (to me at least) is how fun it is, and some of my best works are the ones I wrote with passion, so it’s proven that when you rlly enjoy what you’re doing, you’re going to give way better results.

those are my main tips!! I’m not rlly a pro writer or anything and you can probably get better ones from somewhere else, but imo these are just the things I feel most ppl would struggle with regardless of whether or not english is their first language-/ so hopefully it’s of some help to you in one way or another 🌸💗✨✨

[cicadidae-tm9899]

Ok i want to share my Disco Elysium skills because writing this is way harder than i thought it'd be lmao. This will be a long post bc there are 24 of these and I'm writing a description for all of them, so check under the cut if you're interested in reading me psychoanalyze myself! (also I'm sorry for how many culinary references there are in the skill names and also in the fic. Like, the fic is about me going to school which is just a shitton of cooking. I spend like 75% of my day in various kitchens so it's kinda hard to avoid mentioning it when talking about myself lol.)

Intellect- •Logic = Inference: With so many silent communications and unwritten social cues, the best some of us can do is infer meaning in everyday life. Having done this for so long has left you with the skill to guess at things and somehow make it out of the situation correct.

•Encyclopedia = Scribe: A penchant for writing essays and sessions reading the dictionary with your dad has left you with a dramatic vocabulary and a tendency to regurgitate information on a whim. It only seems to work while writing, as your speech patterns are long-winded and stumbling.

•Rhetoric = Embellishment: You have never been good at debating, always stumbling over your words and overthinking every possible retort until the time for response has passed. You are, however, great at hyperbole, and can make up stories on the fly whenever necessary. This is a defense mechanism.

•Drama = Attitude: A term coined by your parents after many an overreaction, Attitude would likely be better understood as just Drama, but the shame of subpar emotional regulation skills is easier to deal with than explaining to people that sometimes your emotions are too big and even you don't think it's that big of a deal, but yelling helps sometimes.

•Conceptualization = Creativity: Always the artist, right? Without the technical skill to translate ideas to paper all you can do is dream, and you've done plenty of dreaming in your day. A vivid imagination is as much of a curse as it is a blessing, so try not to let your mind wander too far again.

•Visual Calculus = Conversion: You've always been keen on "eyeballing it." Trusting your instincts and past experience when measuring things, whether it be in a recipe or gauging someone's reaction to something, you always feel like you can get the ratios just perfect. You are often wrong.

Psyche- •Volition - Discretion: Weaker than it should be for someone of your age. Always being forced into situations against your will has led to a warped sense of what you want and why you want it. You really should focus more on your own feelings.

•Inland Empire = Apprehension: Thanks to your sense of Empathy, your trust has been worn down by other people taking advantage of you. It's easy to back out of sketchy situations, but when it comes to someone's feelings you are almost always the last to leave. Once again, listen to the nagging in the back of your mind. It means well.

•Empathy = Empathy: Your father always said you were the most empathetic person he knew. This is often detrimental to yourself and your loved ones, as you always seem to gravitate towards the saddest people and give them everything you have without concern for your own well-being. This has always had long-term consequences.

•Authority = Privilege: You know you have no right to take as much as you do, and you try to help fight for everyone's rights, but it is becoming increasingly hard to ignore how good you have it and how much you take advantage of that. You can't help but feel like you deserve it.

•Esprit de Corps = Brigade de Cuisine: In almost everything, there is a hierarchy. Always a bigger fish, always a higher power. Remember that you are low on the food chain, and you will have to claw your way to the top even if it kills you (It will.)

•Suggestion = Proposition: You have spent years perfecting the art of white lies. They come easily to you, almost as easily as breathing. This has caused as much good as it has bad, saving you from minor inconveniences on many occasions but also digging you deeper into pits of guilt. This too is a defense mechanism (one that would be leagues more effective if you could manage to keep your mouth shut.)

Physique- •Endurance = Grit: Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You've made it this far and you sure as hell ain't gonna quit now. If you don't make it through this bit then everything leading up to this was for nothing so keep going. The pain is a privilege.

•Pain Threshold = Discomfort: Yet another symptom of your parent's judgements, it feels less like you're determining a level of pain and more like fighting a losing battle with your body, always trying to find a small bit of comfort in the midst of the constant aches and pains. They say it's rude to sit like that in church.

•Physical Instrument = Incarnate Vehicle: Threadbare seats, chipped paint, and mysterious creaking sounds be damned, this MC still gets you from place to place with undeterred consistency. It will squeal and groan with the effort, but you were built strong and you want to show it. Deteriorating but still reliable.

•Electrochemistry = Hedonist: With your upbringing, you spent many years shielded from the world and all the delights it offers. No amount of school assemblies have deterred you from yearning to partake in the myriad of vices you find yourself offered. Let's make up for lost time, baby! Get out there and get wild. This shitty college town is your oyster and it's been waiting for you.

•Shivers = Tumbleweed: There's a specific kind of nostalgia that washes over you when you spot a tumbleweed meandering across your path. Echoes of past droughts and moments spent poolside. This debris has seen more than you ever could, and will continue its journey until the end of time.

•Half-Light = Panic: That creeping dread you know all too well, crawling up your spine anytime you go outside. What if he's here again? He could have found you. Ever-present anxiety always keeping you on your toes, making even the familiar feel hostile. Prey instinct.

Motorics- •Hand/Eye Coordination = Knife Skills: You have been training for years to improve your coordination, and all that work has certainly paid off. Precise cuts made without a second glance, measured to the millimeter with only your muscle memory. A perfect julienne in seconds.

•Perception = Awareness: You often find yourself favoring smaller details over the bigger picture. This had led people to believe that you don't pay attention, when in reality you pay more attention than most. Always noticing small inconsistencies. Your hearing is going, but it only takes you a second longer than others to understand, and the chronic allergies have left you with a subpar sense of smell, but your eyes are sharp and your fingers can detect the most minuscule details.

•Reaction Speed = Reflex: You know that a falling knife has no handle, and yet you still flinch in the direction it flew. Even still, all you ever do is flinch. The instinct to grab the knife is inhibited by your seeming inability to truly act. Keep flinching, maybe someday your hand will move at the right time and you'll catch the knife.

•Savoir Faire = Charm: You always want people to think you have it together, so you spend time and money and energy to look the part, and then turn up the charisma when someone looks your way. They cannot see the you that hides behind flashy clothes and makeup. You do not like what they would see. You know it's only a grocery run, but maybe this time someone will take notice. So always have a joke ready. Make sure even your lazy clothes look decent.

•Interfacing = Tech Support: A summer spent in a dingy office with a borrowed computer and expensive camera equipment has lent you a decent amount of knowledge with computers. Though it isn't much more substantial than anyone else your age, it has earned you plenty of compliments from older family members or coworkers.

•Composure = Mask: Try not to react. They will know exactly what thoughts are in your head if your face moves even the slightest bit, so you mustn't let them know how you feel. Keep those big feelings down, big fella. Keep those walls tall.

[sol-consort]

I was so upset when I thought Grunt died because I was like “I’ve seen him in different cutscenes though what’d I do wrong???” Luckily Grunt is the goat and lived because he’s Grunt. Wish I took him on missions more but you can’t beat the Tali/Shepard/Garrus combo I rocked the entire Trilogy

I love my fatass son even if he blocks 60% of my shots by walking directly in front of my camper Shepard just right after I pull the trigger then yells at me for friendly fire WHEN HE WAS THE ONE TO WALK IN FRONT OF MY SNIPER.

anyway so, I love him so much! I was a few seconds away from opening the task manager and force closing the game bc I thought for sure he died and I didn't want to finish the unskippable cutscene. I would've kill a that rachni queen a thousand times over if it meant Grunt got to live, zero hesitation.

Thankfully his bloodied limbing body emerged eventually and I have never felt happier in my life.

I wish him and Eve had an interaction since the two of them were in the medbay during the same time but oh well. She would've definitely fell hard for my glorious beloved son and forgot about dusty crusty Wrex!

Also his email after he recovers is so

OF COURSE MY BELOVED SON, I WILL SEND YOU ALL THE SHARK VIDEOS IN THE WORLD. SHARKS ARE VERY SMOOTH SKINNED AND MISUNDERSTOOD CREATURES WHO ARE CURIOUS BY NATURE JUST LIKE YOU MY SON. I AM GLAD IT IS NOT DOLPHINS YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN SINCE DOLPHINS ARE DEVILSPAWN SOCIOPATHS.

it is super adorable that both the animals he is obsessed with are from earth just like Shepard, dinosaurs and sharks.

Wait are turians dinosaurs who survived their own meteor radiation-

Anyway! Here is more on the game report so far. I am falling asleep as I type.

Story plot

So far enjoying everything, the story writing is amazing and the dialogue is pretty hard hitting at times. Sometimes bloated but oh well. Tuchanka felt like such a big pay off to a huge build up since the first game, the quest delivered a full course meal.

Especially the reaper fight oh god, you get to feel powerless for once with a brute after brute after brute being thrown at you and no obvious spare ammo laying around. You just have to gun it (Ha) to the controls and avoid getting sqaushed like a bug by the reaper or charged by the brutes like a football.

Cloaking is a god sent gift that spared me so many times, I pray the brutes never develop thermal vision or the braincells to employ technology that uses it.

Mordin's death hit hard man, it was so right tho. It felt like it was meant to be, I wouldn't have cared for a random salarian. But Mordin? Oh no.

The fact he sings the model of a salarian scientist during it is the knife twisting in the back after the stab.

It's so clear he is doing it to calm himself down, to not mess this up.

It's a reminder of how much he has given to science, his whole life, identity and hobbies. His music, youth and great mind. So many of his beloved students too.

And he dies correcting the mistakes of superiors playing politics who let fear cloud their judgement.

Wrex calls Shepard his sister in it, Wrex has not hit on me once, I am unbelievably thankful for his writers and so overjoyed with this lovely platonic relationship between them.

Because yes they do feel like siblings!

Still, ME1 Wrex now feels like a different person in comparison to ME3 and I am not talking about believes.

I mean he used to be less open with us, less animated and more shut on himself and brooding. Now he laughs, makes jokes and gets excited, I'm really happy for him! It's like he found his true purpose and passion in life.

Kaidan

I forgot how sappy and adorable he is, when sorrounded by badass characters with edges so sharp it could cut a paper, you get so used to them and someone awkward like Kaidan easily stands out.

He's unsure, confused and just so very human. He's still trying to do the right thing while looking at Shepard for guidance. The fact he doesn't think twice before refusing Hackett's offer to have his own ship just to be with us again.

I don't think Kaidan feels complete without Shepard. In his romance he is so sappy and adorable too, earnest and speaking from the heart. Since the first game he was one for romantics and rarely relied on sexy flirting but rather love confessions are more his forte.

I mean look at this man my heart

I he is just so fjkwkcbaoxjs <3333333 he is the softest person in this whole trilogy, even Tali and Liara are more jaded than him at times. But he still acts as if we were his first love, as if he is a schoolyard boy giving his crush flowers and asking their favourite color.

Femshep

You mentioned only playing as maleshep so I'm not sure how different our experiences are, so I will mention the things I think are exclusive to femshep here.

In the reconcile scene in ME3 where your ME1 romance takes you back after you romanced someone in the second game, they accuse you of cheating.

Apparently maleshep can say it isn't cheating because they broke up with you on Horizon. But femshape has to apologise for cheating??? It's very weird idk dude.

I installed a mod that just let me have the maleshep dialogue instead.

You can also hit on Joker when he asks you about EDI.

And have a full conversation on him being with you instead.

He rejects you and says he's not Kaidan (ouch) and doesn't date crew, he will follow you into hell but not into your quarters.

EDI doesn't wear a uniform so he feels okay dating her.

Can you hit on EDI as maleshep?

Talking about EDI, it's making me really uncomfortable how openly the game is being inappropriate about her. I get she has a hot body and that's perfectly okay, but why does every other person feel the need to comment on it and sexualise her? Like she's an object or something.

ME1 had this problem with femshep where antagonists would hit on you to show them being trashy or whatever and the paragon option is to swallow it down and keep talking while the renegade option is to call them out on it.

And in ME2, someone calls you a stripper, and a turian npc asks about your boobs.

I thought they fixed it in ME3, and true, so far, femshep doesn't get these weird comments.

But instead everything was turned on EDI and the game keeps bringing it up and it's just gross my dude. At least Shepard could tell them to fuck off but EDI can't.

James Vega is a character I really like! I loved his bro relationship with Shepard so much. Even as femshep he still says "hey man" or things like that.

But it is weird when he hits on you out of the blue without any prior interest indications. I envy the platonic bro relationship he has with maleshep, really wish femshep could have the same one.

He isn't even a romantic interest, you don't flirt with him or anything. He just hits on you sometimes. Because. Woman. Ig.

Eve opens up to you more as femshep, that was nice and made me feel better. She is one of my favs too, I love everything about her.

Thane

The Thane romance broke me oh my god.

He calls you Siha when he warns you about the citidal attack. In his romanced ending, his last ever act before dying is to literally pray for you, not for himself but for you. For his goddess to forgive you and grant you eternal love and peace, his son even joins him.

He says your heart is pure despite all, that's the goddess should keep you by her side and make you a companion to her much like you were to Thane. The moment is so touching and genuinely emotional I actually cried.

The voice actor for femshep is phenomenal in this too. You get used to Shepard's harsh and commander voice tones and suddenly it's all soft and quiet, whispery and on the blink of tears and it literally cracks your heart open and makes you realise how this big strong commander is crumbling watching the love of her life die in front of her.

And the dress looks so out of theme i know but the context to it just makes the scene even more sad.

I didn't know the citidal mission would start, I didn't know about any of this when I finished tuchanka. I just picked the prettiest red dress I could find because I was excited to see Thane again and wondering if he'll kiss Shepard again because he mentions he can't do it much bc of his sickness and would need some rest so I assume a mission or two will reset it.

So in my mind, I'm getting ready for this cute date with Thane, dolling my Shepard and all excited and happy walking to the citidal. Thinking about him and looking forward to his dialogue and make I'll take some pics with him in this pretty outfit.

But it's...he doesn't get to see it. He doesn't get to see Shepard in her pretty dress that she wore for him because she had to change into armour for the mission. Then he gets stabbed and you can't even stay by his side after he saved you from an assassin.

Btw that assassin scene was so fucking cool, it's easy to forget how badass Thane is and how deadly he can be even while dying.

By the time it's all over, Shepard had to go see him in the same red dress for their date because If I went to the Normady to change he would've already died. There is no time. This outfit that was supposed to celebrate their love has become the dress for his funeral instead, the date on his deathbed and it's squeezing my heart painfully.

Like that is the oufit of someone who thought they had more time, of someone who didn't realise how close tragedy came by.

[stitchthesewords]

I hope you know this new au is never leaving my head. Seriously. It's rotating so hard it may explode

-🍂

YOU AND ME BOTH SO,,,LET ME,,,GIVE YOU MORE THOUGHTS TO ROTATE

HotGuy: Skilled with Archery, I do think of him similarly to hawkeye though im honestly not familiar with him because the only MCU thing I've even seen beside the spiderman movies is The Avengers. So. Take that as you will. He has a bow and crossbow, along with gadgets that function similarly - a lot of wacky arrows like nets and smoke bombs and suction cups. He's got a small limp from an old battle that they counteract with his boots. Of the duo, he is definitely meant to be mostly Offensive when they fight, relying on CuteGuy for anything that isn't 'shoot the enemy in the face'

CuteGuy: Uses a gun, though the Lab SAYS its a pellet gun and not a 'real' one [a lie.] Mostly as a backup weapon, however, as his main area is support. His gun is, similar to HotGuy's arrows, equipped with the ability to take multiple kinds of bullets. He has to be very careful to be sure that he's shooting the right one - think sort of like how the supports in Overwatch work, since my main is Baptiste, so he has like - healing 'bullets' which obviously arent really bullets, and then real bullets that actually do damage. I think there are also things like sleeping bullets, maybe electrified ones. He carries most of the utilitarian gadgets for their team too.

The Evoker: Think somewhat similar to Iron Man. It's a full body mech suit that Scar uses to walk around. It can fly, give him basic data about an area or someone, has weapons built into it, and later on Mumbo retrofits it with its own abilities like boosts to Scar's strength and speed. There's a voice synthisizer to hide Scar's identity, because he doesn't know WHY CuteGuy would stay with the Lab, but he can't trust him with any knowledge.

The Watcher - Blind. Literally. His powers partially compensate for this, but it's not like actually seeing with his eyes. And the transformation process to become the Watcher was INCREDIBLY painful for Grian, waking up in total darkness [which, to clarify, the blindness Grian experiences as the Watcher is not ACTUAL blindness. It is instead like they are blocking out his sight while still giving him...sight? I suppose? Like holding something in front of his vision, but they can take the blockage away at any time because he'll be more powerful. Like training with weights and then taking them off for a fight.] The Watcher's abilities let him 'see' things are outlines, or something simply sense they they are there. It's like having 360 vision but having no instincts of how to read it. He also can get flashes of the future, who allows him to do things like avoid bumping into people, or guess when Mumbo was trying to trap him with a net. But these future flashes are only correct some of the time, not all the time - the future can change in an instant after all. And it is NOT like having visions that go far into the future, more like a premonition of something happening seconds away. This allows Grian to live his life as though he could see but means that during his downtime, when he can't use his powers due to motion sickness and other illness, he has no idea how to navigate the world at all. He's been trying to get better, but the Lab doesn't like him NOT using his power, so it's incredibly difficult when he's being watched himself. Grian relies on his old methods of fighting, using a new gun and also, a sword, something he trained with before he became HotGuy's sidekick.

and as a bonus I wanna talk about the NHO guys bc,,,,, I love them.

Bdubs aka...I'm not really sure yet. We'll get there - He only had a brief stint as a powerless hero, most of his work was very lowkey in a team. He takes the experiment for powers because he wants to monetary boost - He's given plant powers [kind of like poison ivy?? I think] and they seal him in a sensory deprivation tank to get his powers to work. Did the Lab actually know that would work and wasn't just a form of torture? You decide!

Etho - not a Hero. He does, however, work for the lab as a spy. And hitman. Semi-military. Whatever they need him for really. He has his own redstone knowledge that he brought with him so he often messes with his own gadgets and helps their engineering teams out when he doesn't have a job. The Lab faked his death, because they needed him to be able to do his job without being tracked.

Beef aka The Butcher - He does not have powers, he instead in a melee-based fighting hero from around the same time that HotGuy and CuteGuy were active. He has a bulky full face mask he wears with a voice modulator built into it to conceal his identity.

Doc - Not a Hero. More like a hostage of the Lab - passive mob hybrids naturally exist in the world [Avians, sheep, etc.] but not neutral or aggressive mobs. Doc was part of the first round of experiments that were trying to make superpowers - and their first attempt was to fuse people with aggressive mobs [This is also where Tango comes from]. This plan failed - most people died, and those like Doc [and Tango] that didn't die were not what the lab needed. However, the evidence of what they'd done was far too obvious, and so the surviving hybrids are kept locked up deep within the Lab. Doc is an engineer who designed or improved most of the Lab's gadgets, which is how the NHO met - Doc is the one who makes all their gadgets.

[anotherghoul666]

For your "which ghoul type am I" post, voila le breadown bc I ran out of room :))

Hybrid Ghoul

It may not be super Canon, but I see you as a triple-threat hybrid. Something rare. Something uncommon, in a good way. Something special! A compilation of multiple talents, more than a "jack-of-all-trades master-of-none" Multi. A certified class act! I tried really hard putting this together so appreciate it, dammit!

Fire + Air + heavy on the Quintessence...

Fire - you are brave and bold, with (what I interpret as) a 'tell 'em like it is' personality. That may have gotten you into trouble when you were younger, honestly it might still, but folks prefer honesty to sugar-coating. Also, I imagine you are short and fiesty irl. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong (I am NOT tho, I can tell).

Air - when I think Air ghouls I think of the ghoulettes - classy, a little silly, kind, great style. Take ur pick, dude. Like, you can be so cool, calm, and collected (a la Cirrus, especially the dom attitude). A little fireball of energy and ideas - how very Sunshine of you. Don't forget comforting and gracious - Cumulus.

Quintessence - you have this wonderful ability to foster friendships and make meaningful connections with folks who would otherwise be complete strangers. You're supportive, considerate, thoughtful of folks' feelings and ideas. Even if you don't understand, you make a point to try and see things from another perspective. You have such a wealth of knowledge and share it willingly.

Q ghouls are a model for how folks should act - kindly and with empathy - and this is very much how I see you! I see you as a pillar in the community (in more ways than one) and people are all the better for having known you.

OKAY, THIS WAS A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE. I HOPE ITS NOT TOO MUCH ❤️‍🔥

CAAIIITTTTT!! Darling? what?! This is SO SWEET?! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this in such details for me ❤️ I appreciate it alright, so so much.

The idea of a triple-element hybrid is so cool!

Fire: so my reflex is to bat away the "brave" trait immediately, because I feel I'm much more of an avoidant person than a brave one. That being said, if I look back at all the shit I went through and still pushed, I have to admit there is an amount of bravery there. So while I would never use that term to describe myself because my automatic thoughts say I don't deserve it, I'll accept the compliment and sincerely thank you for it. I sure am bold. I am 100% a "tell it like it is" person, and yes indeed my brutal honesty has gotten me in trouble consistently to this day. You'd be surprised but most people I find, like it better if you coddle them and you cushion what you say. The shit sandwich communication tactic and all that. But I can't do that. I treat others like I want to be treated, and I want direct and transparent honesty, so I have to give that same thing. It's all about internal coherence. I am both indeed short of stature xD and short of temper, though it's for minor annoyances. I'm difficult to legitimately anger, but I am short fused when it comes to being frustrated or irritated, yeah. You're not wrong!!

Air: besides stylish (because I do not give a fuck about style or looks 99% of the time XD) I appreciate the other compliments and feel flattered you think of me this way ❤️ The idea that I'm comforting like Cumulus is hits a lot, I aspire to be cause she's such a comfort character ❤️

Quintessence: isn't it funny how irl I can't maintain friendships for shit, all my life I've been the person with no friends that's "too weird" for people to tolerate. And yet online, contact is so easy with yall. I can be who I am here, I can speak how I speak and give my opinions and hot takes and it's valued. Instead of being problems that makes people uncomfortable, my directness, my transparency and honesty, my hyper-empathy, my hyper-sensitivity, those are things that yall are accepting of here and that you appreciate. This little corner of the internet we made for ourselves is so welcoming and warm. I'm honored to contribute to it in the way that aligns with my values of radical acceptance, open-mindedness and holding space for the marginalized. It's as you said, I don't always understand, and I don't always agree with people, but I believe there are ways to have civilized conversations people can grow from about everything. I'm happy that shines through and yall can feel a bit of the good I'm trying to do. I approach life, people and spaces with a "leave it better than you when you found it" mentality. So be it by sharing knowledge, educating, supporting, etc., I just wanna leave yall with more than before I crossed paths with you in the end. 🥰

This means the absolute world to me Cait, and Imma keep it close to my heart. Thank you for your valuable input ❤️

[blazlngblade]

Hey, I've been really enjoying CotC and also reading through all the work you've done for the translations of the Japanese game, as well as your thoughts and analyses of various characters and settings. One of your earlier asks you mentioned Prome being a heretic, which is fascinating to me bc I have no idea how that'd even look with how the cleric class and religion in the game story seem to be set up (even Mattias arguably wasn't a heretic per se, since Galdera was still part of the pantheon of Orsterra's gods). However I have been unable to scrape up any other information on Prome past what you mentioned in the one ask and general stuff about his stats, and I was wondering if you could explain his character a bit more, since his character story hasn't been translated or uploaded, nor has like, the recruitment card. If you can't, no big deal, I know the gacha aspect of the game makes it hard to learn the story of every single character and I'm sure I can piece stuff together when he eventually gets added to the worldwide release if I'm patient, but what you said did get me pretty curious about him. Thanks for taking the time to read this regardless!

I am very glad you're enjoying playing the game and even more so that you have watched our videos and read my posts! That makes me happy to hear! Thank you so much!

Prome is an extremely interesting character, I did call him a heretic as it is true. But, also not true. The reason he is considered one is because his views on the Orsterran religions is not of the norm, nor is it accepted within the church, but he believes it all the same. To put it simply, he's a "heretic".

Since you asked for a translation of his summon card, this is what it says:

A good and sincere wandering priest. He is well-behaved and admired by the people.

However, in reality, he is a "heretic" who denies the teachings of the Church of the Sacred Flame and preaches his own doctrine.

Prome is very loyal to the teachings of the Flamebringer. He grew up in a home of other members of the clergy, but as he grew up, he began to believe in his own way. Seeing the fault in the religious teachings and trust me, there is a lot of fault, you'll find out in Bestower of All's chapter 6 Part II! he now wants to share his interpretation. He's not aiming to prove the other way of worship wrong, just doesn't believe in that way.

He believes that the Sacred Flame is meant to purify, which technically isn't wrong, fire is used to do this, as it's one of its symbolic meanings. Fire is also meant to burn away waste to cleanse the world and start anew. He believes that the Flame needs to do this more often, so in Aelfric's place, he chooses to do so.

Knowing about the Chosen One and the rings, he does seek them out in order to gain Aelfric's approval. Despite being a little irrational, for lack of a better word, Prome is very dutiful and chooses to listen to the Chosen One when they tell him that his way doesn't seem fully correct. What I mean about this, is it's probably clear that the Chosen One does half agree with Prome's way, as they have to stop evil as well, but if death was an option to be avoided, I'm sure they would avoid that. So if Prome could teach sinners a well needed lesson, but give them a chance to atone for their sins rather than ending their lives, it is a better option.

What's also kind of nice to learn is people like Prome a lot. He carries a very welcoming demeanor when he recites his sermons, and though people recognize the way as different, a lot of people agree with what he says about the use of purification and the Flame. He also loves playing with children, which I think is really sweet. He gets along well with them, and they enjoy Prome's company just as much.

Without too much spoilers about the whole story, as this one is going to be uploaded very soon. (October 23rd for the Recollection, and October 24th for the Traveler Story)

In his story, another priest chooses to try and frame Prome for murder on one of the many targets Prome has attacked, but didn't kill, simply because the Chosen One said not to. When this happens, Prome asks the Chosen One if they believe he never did it, and seems relieved when the Chosen One says they trust Prome's word. It doesn't take long for the two characters to figure out who does it, thanks to a list Prome has about past sinners he's met.

That's all I will choose to say about the story plot specifically as it will be uploaded soon!

And that thing about Prome enjoying playing with children. After being framed for murder, one of Prome's first concerns was not being allowed to play with the children again. </3 Poor guy.

By the end of the story, Prome chooses to travel onwards with the Chosen One, and Marlowe (the priest from Millard's story) trust that the Chosen One will watch over Prome. Marlowe is a past mentor to Prome and one of the few people Prome trusts to support him.

Speaking of support, that's really all Prome needs. Someone to help support him and know when he may have crossed a line. Both Marlowe, and now the Chosen One, have taken this place.

That being said, if for whatever reason you want to ship Prome with someone. It has to be someone pure hearted to kind of "rub off" on Prome. Basically characters like Millard.

If you or anyone is interested in one day going for Prome in the English version, he would most likely be added alongside arena characters L'eeto (4th Champion) or Gertrude (5th Champion), as he originally released with Gertrude, but both her and L'eeto are weak to fire magic.

I was going to go into more detail about Prome and his story, but it will be uploaded soon, so I chose not to. I hope this was enough to pique your interest more until October 23rd/24th. Thanks again for the support!

[sencrose]

literally nobody asked for this but i feel like yapping about random stuff about sapphire passion (mostly a lot of rambling about idols + a smidge of actual things about the fic lol)

think of it as additional commentary :'D

I. putting in way too much effort into the research

first off, i would argue i'm way more familiar with k-pop idols than i am with jp idols, esp. jp chika idols (16 yrs vs 1 yr lol) but it was really fun diving into the rabbit hole! anyways this is just a disclaimer that i'm still really new to (non-anime) jp idols so uh cut me some slack if i get some stuff wrong lol

anyways, i think k-pop fan meets have a lot less opportunity for intimacy (2 second hi-touches, group meet and greets/photos, short facetime chats.... you get my gist). fansigns are a thing but definitely not in the western sphere so i'll admit i kinda forgot they existed. regardless, it just did not pique my interest.

the whole idea of chekis really lured me in. if you're loaded/have the time/your oshi doesn't have much of a line, you can just. keep buying more cheki tickets lol. you make nice small talk, and you can build a rapport if you're a regular. pretty sure there was some twt thread a bit back about an idol who married her fan? and then some people qrt'd saying that it was a pretty common occurrence (not that i've fact checked it. another possible fic idea?)

another rabbit hole i fell down was trying to hear how loudly audiences chant depending on the gender majority, which was REALLY hard for some reason? there's a lot more fancams for female chika idols than there are for male chika idols, and when you do find performances for male idols, it's usually an official recording which cuts out all the shouts from the crowd -___- all i wanted to do was see if it was in chara of reader to be shouting and cheering intensely ;___; (i mean they would regardless, but. idk the rabbit hole consumed me)

also fem fans seem to move their lightsticks differently! usually more in like... a figure 8 wrist thing??? than the usual up down up down motion i'm used to seeing in wota.... lots of inch resting things..

in case anybody also wants to fall into the hole with me, here's some of the groups i now listen to on a regular basis teehee

lovesick (wagamama happiness + aisarefacedearitai are my faves bc i like chanting/mixing along with them! but if you find that's not your style then stalking love and erabare valentine are my other faves)

yumekuineon - i really enjoy their cover of kodokuasobi! (i think it's originally from touken ranbu? correct me if i'm wrong)

scapegoat - lobelia and nodoukaruma are my faves! also they're a bit more on on the gothic? visual kei? side? (i'm so sorry if i'm using those terms wrong, that side of jfashion isn't my niche)

all of the songs and groups listed above are also on spotify if that's more up your alley :)

II. ok actually on to the fic

im just gonna try and talk about w/e comes to mind in chronological order (sorry if it's not, i just be yappin)

i didn't describe the new stage outfit because i didn't have one completely set in mind at the time of writing. i did recently see these stage outfits from save point and i think this with light blue detailing + maybe an asymmetrical capelet is what i envisioned. very knight/prince-like vibes. that being said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you can imagine whatever you'd like :)

gojo does not know reader's name lmao. during the text messages, i made the conscious decision of not using "y/n" (or alternatives). i literally had it in there but took it out because i thought it'd be scummier if you fell for it hook line and sinker without realizing. (also i just don't like typing out y/n in fics if i can avoid it, personally)

the date scene was really hard to write, i think i scrapped and rewrote it like three times? i was contemplating between a naive reader (which i went with) vs a reader that started picking up on something not being quite right, but i just did not feel like i had the skill to pull it off nor did i know how to move the plot on from there? it's not the usual reader i write... here's a snippet of what could've been:

anyways moving on past the date:

“Not at all,” you gesture towards the case with your hands and a slight bow, a bit too formally for the situation at hand, “go ahead.” You swear his eyes sparkle as he looks over the case before settling on one of the light sticks. “Did you decorate this one yourself?” “I did! It was before you released official light sticks.”

In terms of decorating light sticks, that sparkly white inside? it's paper. you can remove it. my personal penlight just pops off when you twist it, there's not much resistance. you can decorate it with fake flowers, ribbons, sticker decals, whatever you want. some groups have official lightsticks, though they're usually the type of act to sell out stadiums. (forgot i was writing for a chika idol for a split second)

i think everything that comes after that came really naturally. penlights are phallic and approximately dildo sized. like what else was i supposed to do man.

iii. rejected titles lol

toru taiga! (not rejected, i just. thought about it after i posted it. rip. reference to kahen 3ren mix)

iettoru!/yes 'toru! (thought nobody would get it... another mix ref)

penlight passion (too on the nose? but then again i ended up going with sapphire passion...)

chekis and romance (like the wota move romance? but also the story isn't that romantic..)

all (six) eyes on me (thought i was being unoriginal/too on the nose)

fade to blue (placeholder title for a while bc i could not think of anything lmfao)

anyways that's all! if there's something i didn't cover that you're interested in, my ask box is open :'D

[lorisystem]

Sorry about to be negative but need vent

So i had a rlly difficult day and tbh this probably doesnt help but these thoughts i have them all the time its a constant opinion and not just a negative spiral. Although right now feeling this a lot and affecting me more than usual

Anyway like i got back from paid leave last week and my job is like rlly demanding. Im gonna say for me because my threshold for difficult is really low. But yea its just the workload is fairly heavy, theres a lot of pressure, and theres a lot of drama etc. To be fair my neurotypical coworkers are also struggling etc.

But anyway one of the things about paid leave is that when you are able to be off for enough days in a row (like 3 weeks in my case) it really feels like. I was fine during paid leave enjoying my little life doing whatever i wanted being paid etc. You go back to work and its like. Why am i subjecting myself to this. Why. Whats the point. It doesnt even matter. Do i have to even? Why did we all decide to just be doing this. So whatever but thats one thing going on etc

Idkkkk if its like. Haha seasonal or what but im having slightly more suicidal ideation than usual. Like this is not worrying at all like im not in danger or anything. Disclaimer i wont do anything etc. And im saying this completely deadpan non emotionally- Buttt like to give an idea even at my happiest / euphoric i always think of dying as a good thing. I rlly have a hard time finding anything worth it. Literally best i can do is "yeah for this reason i can endure until i die of natural/accidental causes but rlly glad that it does end at some point". So thats my baseline i live like this and most of the time im fine cause like, my number one priority in life is to avoid whatever causes me suffering and stress and like the thing about suicide is that non violent methods are inaccessible to me which i think is unethical but thats my own issue lol. So basically as long as my life is less painful than suicide im at no risk of dying and i do my best to minimize suffering, doing fine on that, so everything is fine. Alright

But like anyway i was thinking that my number one problem in life currently and idk how to solve it its impossible right?

Is like. I want to live a life where i can be myself/not mask. That is to say be authentically who i am speak like i think act like i think dress how i want use the pronouns i use etc (im talking about displaying asd traits, dressing weird, being trans, ace, polyam queer etc) like just harmless things that are my core personality and defining traits right. AND be respected as a human being.

That is to say like id like to go outside and participate in society sometimes without having to pretend to be "normal" and also at the same time to not get weird looks, not get nasty looks, not get catcalled, not get harassed, not get commented upon, not get someone coming up to me to comment on my outfit or be mean to me, not get someone feeling entitled to treat me as subhuman, not stalked, not at fear of being assaulted, not get rumors spread about me, not followed around, not preyed upon etc etc just for existing <3 bc i dare to look abnormal and vulnerable ppl notice and think im not human.

Ive had all those happen to me and thankfully nothing too bad either like it happens to some ppl so i will display a certain amount of disgusting gratefulness bc of course i have some privilege so there is obviously way worse than me. Somehow still enough to make me traumatized and agoraphobic!

I just want to exist and that its ok and that ppl dont wonder if thats ok if they should take advantage of me or try to help and correct whatever is wrong with me.

And that is too much to ask! Its literally too much to ask.

We live in a world where we cant expect especially marginalized ppl, to be respected. To exist outside or in public etc and just not get someone to make us understand thats somth is wrong with us.

I have to pretend to be normal, all this effort so at the end of the day not only am i dead inside but also i still know ppl think theres still somth off about me.

So anyway this is my pipe dream and the reason ill never think anything is good or worth it. Is there in the world a happy place like this? I think about it all the time, where is the land i can be happy and ppl act normal to me.

Anyway a dream ive had is to save up and buy a house on a mortgage and like. I have a good salary at the moment for a single person, its pretty good. But my spouse is struggling to find a job and anything resembling takes a lot of energy from them so idk if its viable long term even and on my salary alone thats impossible. So idk. And like thats fine but its sad cause my spouse is rlly depressed about it etc.... capitalism does this to us.. yk how it is..

Im thinking maybe i should just attempt to start a thing to get disability aid or somth which is. The amount is basically only the minimum to live for one person if you leave in a shoebox and have no expense. So like the quality of life for myself and my spouse would seriously decrease in terms of living space and other nice things so like meh. But most importantly id have to get reevaluated every few years etc at risk of losing it if i stop qualifying it. Which can reasonably happen even if the doctor i have changes and they decide no longer disabled or someth even. That is if i even get it cause like i am actually capable at least for now to work full time in the way i do. Sucks the whole time, but capable. So idk what to do. Maybe i reduce my time of work. Idk. The fear of losing the disability is rlly too much for me too like. I have no financial support if that happens i cant count on my family at all for anything. Im too scared/traumatized by poverty to not have stability.

Honestly i think its just this forever then? Ig i should make another therapy appointment but last time my therapist said something that set me off and now i dont wanna go again its so dumb cause i rlly like her and been w her for like. Idk almost 2 years now. And she just said one thing which i think even she meant nothing by it and now im just like. I rlly hate that its happening i just feel the ick.

I was telling this to my spouse too like when you repress your emotions so much all the time you stop feeling sadness or anger etc you just feel the ick. Like profoundly uncomfortable with no words to put on it rlly

So thats going on for me ♡ sorry for being negative though just going through my mind but ill be ok etc

[ssoupcup]

to avoid annoying my friend by bombarding him with multiple pictures of rocks, here's a bunch of cool geological stuff i saw in the cliffs and the beach on my walk today with lengthy explanations ! i forgot to use things for scaling in all of these so I'll just be going off what i remember unfortunately. but yeah i really just wanted to rant about my special interest because i don't live near cliffs so this is the perfect opportunity to do some geology bc I MISS MY GEO LESSONS!!!! also this is all just from memory. if im wrong about something that is why lmao

we start off with a fun little symmetrical gentle anticline. nothing too remarkable but i was nevertheless happy to see it.

some pretty visible soil creep :3

a LOT of landslips happen along this coastline (clearly), probably due to the poor cementation of the rock. its pretty young (deposited within the last 2 million years according to which papers I've read) so it's had less time to. you know. cement. its also mostly muds and clays, so they get easily waterlogged and effected by weathering which causes the landslips.

here's some more slumps and such. i *think* i saw some slump rotational slides but i don't know if i got pictures and if i did i don't remember enough about them to identify them from the images.

cont'd from above. ^^^^

also just here is some REALLY COOL folding at the base of the cliff no im serious just look at that series of folds. this one actually had a random person in the photo too so there's some idea of scale. like just look at that big eroded anticline up top and below is the other folds. YIPPEEE

so originally i thought there was a lot of tilting which technically there is but i think its mostly due to the landslips and such. i think portions of the cliff have collapsed or slipped which causes these parts of the rock face to drop down whilst still remaining in tact. you can kinda see it in these?

there is also a lot of clay which i found out is from the forest bed formation which dates from around 2ma to 500,000 years ago. its generally up to about 6m thick. the clay itself is from freshwater deposits (i think some of the stuff i read said there used to be a river there with its source being in the pennines but don't quote me on that.)

i wish id gotten closer to the cliffs to see what the rocks and sediment are like but i was walking with my sister and my dog and both of them wanted to get going lmao because the walk itself was about 2 and a half hours. for fluvial deposits at this distance from the sea, assuming this area was once the site of a river mouth, i would expect to see generally well sorted, well rounded grains, or a lot of muds. there were definitely a lot of muds present which could indicate a river mouth but it may also just be from the forest bed, and the same goes for the clays. i think i read somewhere that the clays are from 0.5 to 0.8ma, and may be indicative of a river bed since its literally the smallest grain size (platy particles which are hard to erode due to their shape. ALTHOUGH. some clays are more likely to become waterlogged and swell which can cause more cliff failures (i THINK its due to gaps between bonds but im not too sure. something like Kimmeridge clay? nope i looked it up that's a specific deposit of clay. im thinking about 1:1 and 2:1 clays - specifically kaolonite (1:1 which allows for minimal swelling) and montmorillonite (2:1 which allows for more swelling as water can penatrate the spaces). i cannot for some reason find anywhere what kind the clay here is and i don't know how to assess it myself or if i even can/could assess it so. that just remains as a tangent.))

i looked it up. i am correct about river mouth muds and clays.¹ the clays and muds are indeed from fluvial deposits. there's also floodplain stuff. i love being correct about things i like. AYO I just saw it was also an estuary look at me slaying. although that wasn't hard to guess since this is a modern day coastline and this geology is very recent lmao.

there's also glacial deposits which includes banding i believe in the rocks but im going to be real with you, i didn't do near as much research into that can't remember shit about it. here's what i think might be it though lmao. glacial stuff is characterised most often by poor sorting, generally very angular grains and such which makes up glacial till. id put a picture in but i reached the limit now im writing this bc this post was not written chronologically. here is what probably is the till.

then here's a formation i simply enjoyed the look of. we also saw a seal :3

I don't have all the references because some of this is just from my own knowledge and understanding but here are some of the papers i used to research. i can't be bothered to do proper harvard referencing, and i don't think anyone particularly cares or are going to look at them but here's them just in the off chance someone did want to look at them lmao

¹ i know wikipedia isn't a reliable source for academic research or papers but this is a tumblr post in which im literally just ranting about my special interest. this is the source.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cromer_Forest_Bed#:~:text=The%20Cromer%20Forest%20Bed%20is,and%200.5%20million%20years%20ago.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.north-norfolk.gov.uk/media/3128/appendix_a__n_norfolk_coastal_environment.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiD4pWd8oGBAxWeWkEAHaXbBHYQFnoECCQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3jvgi8XAq_s53_CYKqeQVZ

(looked at whole paper but specifically referenced pages 4, 5, 15, 16, 20, 21)

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://nora.nerc.ac.uk/16198/1/Trimingham.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwiD4pWd8oGBAxWeWkEAHaXbBHYQFnoECCUQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3Q21XXFHJQbRppkKhEc1LT

[menalez]

I could definitely be wrong, but as an autistic person I honestly read the 'different language' thing as just an expression of how it feels to be autistic, not insulting your English. The way my thoughts connect to each other in my head and come out of my mouth is so different from the way they do for people who aren't autistic, and it really does feel like speaking a whole different language. Trying to get people to understand what I'm saying is very difficult and I do have to apologize and clarify a lot, and honestly, it does get exhausting, because a lot of people will refuse to believe what I actually meant because the words I said didn't translate into that for them the way it did for me and it's hard for them to understand that what obviously means one thing to them obviously means another thing to me.

Not saying macro is in the right here, but I also read you saying the part about things 'leading to the conclusion that' as you stating the conclusion as something that you believed to be true--in hindsight and after your explanation, I realize that was a silly way to read it, but it happens so often that I'm more wary of it. I don't think anyone here is intentionally misinterpreting words; this kind of misunderstanding isn't uncommon for autistic people. It's just a pile of misunderstandings.

I started talking way too much, but my point is, I think that was what the 'different language' thing meant--the child comment was uncalled for, but I don't think it was about your English at all. Again, though, I could be wrong.

Hopefully I worded all of this in a way that 'translates' properly. I'm a little tired so stringing words together is harder than it is normally, so if any of this came off wrong, I'm very sorry. I'm honestly not trying to take sides here, I don't feel like I know enough about the whole situation to make any solid judgments on it, I'm just trying to help clear up the misunderstandings because I'm very familiar with how easy it is for these things to happen. Also, I always enjoy seeing you on my timeline, you seem like a cool person and I don't want you to maybe feel hurt over something that came off wrong. (Though in this context, it really should have been worded differently.) Obviously I don't know how you're actually feeling about it, but, well, insults are hurtful. Sorry for stating the incredibly obvious there, like I said my words are not forming well.

Sorry for the very long ask. Hope you're doing well!

but afaik butch-reid'd is not autistic as well is she? i can understand though bc very often im saying things and it feels like people are somehow reading entirely different (which is what they just did to me, funnily enough) but i wish theyd perhaps avoid such comments with me bc seriously the amount of times this week alone that people have made weird comments to me about my english or language abilities is .. too much. i ignored it bc of that bc i was like what is up with this comment why do peopl keep saying things about my language abilities to me -_-

anyways im mostly frustrated now that even after explaining at least twice that i am simply saying that people reading ur words literally does not mean theyre out to get u and trying to misconstrue u and whatever else, & its ok to simply correct them and move on, theyre now intentionally misconstruing me to call me ableist lol. like im supposed to give everything they say the most generous interpretation ever, but even when im clarifying my words repeatedly i dont deserve the same.. its odd. especially when i dont think im saying anything unreasonable when i say "people arent intentionally misconstruing you by reading ur words as they are literally written, youre simply wording them unclearly & can clarify it and then move on. if it requires knowing u personally and already having positive feelings towards u to understand what ur saying as u intend it then it is simply unclear"

anyways thank u anon and i appreciate hearing ur input <3 im just baffled by how i was trying to politely explain sth to them and i got repeated insults in return

[charmixpower]

☀️ Stel hairstyles explained 🌙

Stella! This one was probably the easiest because she has so many fun canon hairstyles to chose from, and making her hair even fancier is an absolute delight. I had to get a little creative with her earrings because I didn't want her to just have the same ones in, but it god hard after a while. Thankfully I think they turned out really well!

On to my thoughts about the individual styles

Classic Stella: behold, my hatred of Stella's early season pointy bangs in it's purest form. Also my redesign of her s1 outfit. I could not not include Stella with her hair down bc Stella would never have her hair up most of the time, and that's something. A high ponytail wouldn't be wrong but why would you do it like that with a bow????? Can you remember who this character is supposed to be???? Take those bows off her right now or so help me god—

Bedtime Stella: I love this outfit from s4 and I just had to include it bc it acknowledges how Stella has to deal with a fuck ton hair 24/7. It's just great. Putting the orange of the hair ties only on the yellow of her blended too much, especially because I made Stella's hair honey colored. So I made it red. Bonus unstyled bangs, bc I had to acknowledge her classic bangs somewhere

Club Stella: BLUE ERA. I never noticed how much long hair soften Stella look until I put it all into a small braid. Her muscles are so much more noticeable. I'd imagine this would be a reason Stella would avoid not having her hair down in anyway. Aside from that, I saw a braid from this hideous later seasons green thing pretending to an outfit and I just had to keep a braid for Stella bc the hair was so cute. Just one, decided to put it with a corset and all blue and purple for Stella embracing her moon for a night out

Disco Stella: I know a lot of people don't like this outfit, and nooo!! Look at how tacky she looks!!! It's so cute!!! She has some my favorite earrings here, like yesss I was so happy when I put those on her. I think I might be biased bc I really like how Stella looks without her bangs lol

All natural: we got ~all natural~ Stella. With her glasses, natural hair, and without the extensions she usually wears. I know plenty of people who usually have straight hair (most notably my mom and irl close friend), and the reason usually comes down to "it's easier to deal with" but I don't think that Stella would care if her hair was easy to deal with or not? So I'm giving her the reason I used to have my hair straight 24/7 as a child. She's extremely tender headed and anything that pulls her hair makes her start crying because it hurts so much. Curls pull, straight hair usually doesn't. That's how my mom delt with me before I was able to brush my own hair properly bc it just hurt so much, and I could deal with my hair my own way at that point. I really hate the way I look with straight hair so I sucked it up, but I still refuse to let combs come near my hair. I imagine Stella doesn't despise the way she looks with straight hair, but really likes it. Listen, I know she can just magically grow her hair but listen. It's just fun if Stella has extensions in, and getting my hair braided hurt way less than getting it brushed so I think extensions would hurt less too. Also yes, after seeing young Stella I have hc'd that she wears contacts most of the time bc she doesn't like the way she looks with glasses

Cozy Stella: I really love her fruity music bar look. Like a lot of the outfits from s4 annoyed the fuck out of me, see the Musa s4 civilian rant, but the fruity music bar ones always fucked. I gave cozy casual Stella a well styled low side ponytail, and a tinner headband. Because relaxing doesn't mean she's not gonna look good while doing it. Can I just say I love the side ponytail? For what reason the designers keep adding high side ponytails I'll never understand, but the low one looks so cute on her

Princess Stella: I know the correct answer to "why is that headpiece floating behind her head" is magic, but that's not fun for me, so I made it apart of a high bun which is holding it up. Love the earrings her so much, I was starting to run out of earring ideas lol. I added some sleeves to make the outfit slightly more royal looking. They're short sleeves, don't worry lol

Gala attendee: Omg I love the top of Stella's flower princess dress, we don't acknowledge the rest of it. We also don't acknowledge the second part of her bun. I'm not doing it. The double bun is hidious and I will not draw it, the single bun is super cute tho. I should of made it bigger tho bc of all the damn hair Stella has. VERY happy with her earrings on this one, so pretty

Princess ball: I left her hair mostly the same because this is best high ponytail that Stella has worn and will ever wear, and I don't wanna fuck with perfection. I did mess a little with her dress because I've always hated the top part of it mdksnd I feel so bad but the one sleeve and the slanted stap look bad to me fjajsns that's all

[bubbleteaimagines]

ayoooo ion know if you would want to write this but a threesome with reiner and eren 😳 that’s all i’ve been thinking about for like a week now.

Sex Lessons

Reiner Braun and Eren Jaeger Oneshot

Summary: After hearing Jean tease Eren for being a virgin, you and Reiner step in to fix it

Warnings: Smut, threesome! double penetration, oral, loss of virginity, degrading, really Reiner is the dom if you think about it

Authors Note: yES I will write this bc Inam a slut for eren and reiner <3 thank you for sending this in

you rolled eyes as jean’s obnoxious laugh filled the dinner hall. once again, he and eren were disturbing the peace by going back and forth while everyone else was trying to eat.

this time though, jean said something that stopped eren and quite literally everyone else in their tracks.

“and what do you know jaeger? everyone knows you’re a virgin! bet you’ve never even gone to second base!”

the statement caused eren to freeze in his tracks. slowly, you and reiner winced as you saw a deep blush creep up on his face, eren’s mouth dropping into an ‘o.’

“poor guy,” you frowned at the sight of eren trying to stutter back a comeback, obviously embarrassed. “i think jean may have taken it too far this time.”

“you think?” reiner rose an eyebrow and chuckled.

“that was a dirty move,” bertholdt shook his head. “there was no need to embarrass eren like that.”

“well i say it’s for the best,” ymir scoffed from the table across from you. “finally shut jaeger up, didn’t it?”

“yeah...,” you chewed your lip, watching how eren’s shoulders sagged in defeat and how he suddenly became interested in his lap. “but still.”

you couldn’t help but feel sorry for the guy. nobody should be shamed like that, especially not by their nemesis and in front of all their friends.

bertholdt was right, that was a dirty move.

“what are you thinking?” reiner, noticing your frown, placed a gentle hand on your arm.

you sighed. “i just wish we could help, you know? eren’s one of our friends. i hate to see jean get the best of him like that.”

“me too,” reiner agreed. “maybe we could meet up with him after dinner? speak a little words of encouragement?”

“yeah,” you nodded, “yeah we should.”

and so it was decided — as soon as everyone began to clear out, you and reiner put your dishes up and followed behind eren as he walked out.

oddly, he was alone, no mikasa or armin in sight. that’s how you knew he was still sulking over jean’s words.

“hey,” your gentle voice caused eren to glance up, turquoise eyes squinting as he saw you and reiner.

“hi...?” eren trailed off, not sure why you guys were there.

“listen,” reiner decided to explain, “we heard what jean was saying at the table today. and we just wanted to let you know that was totally uncalled for.”

“he shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that,” you continued. “he had no right to speak on your sex life so we just wanted to come and make sure you were okay.”

“huh?!” if anything, eren looked even more embarrassed that you both had heard jean. “i’m not embarrassed! jean may be an idiot but he’s wrong! i-i’m not a virgin!”

you and reiner shared a look. from the way his voice was cracking, you both could tell he lying through his teeth.

“look,” reiner shook his head, “there’s no shame in never having sex before. in my opinion, it’s highly overrated—”

a sharp elbow from you caused reiner to wince and quickly rephrase himself.

“i-i mean...it’s not overrated, but it’s definitely not the most important thing in the world,” reiner corrected. he gave you a sheepish look in response to your glare.

“easy for you to say,” eren scoffed, rolling his eyes. “you guys have been together since we were cadets. everyone knows you two go at it like rabbits.”

“hey—!” both you and reiner protested. “it’s not...we don’t—”

“forget it,” eren shook his head and turned his back to walk away from you guys. “thanks for trying to help you guys, but unless you can convince everyone i’m not lame for still being a virgin then this talk will be no help.”

“eren wait!” you cried out, reaching for his arm to stop him.

“y/n, i said forget it. there’s nothing you can do—”

“but what if we could?” reiner suddenly said, a glint appearing in his eyes. this caused both you and eren to pause and look at him in shock.

“oh yeah?” eren rose an eyebrow. “how?”

“yeah, how?” you asked too, curious.

reiner met your eyes and you could see a plan formulating behind his honey eyes.

“what if we...” reiner bit his lip, looking dead at you. “we if we gave him some lessons, babe?”

“huh?” both you and eren were confused.

“lessons?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. “you mean like—”

“sex lessons?” eren exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“yes,” your jaw hit the floor. “you said it yourself. we can’t convince them. but maybe...maybe we can show them,” reiner smirked, crossing his arms.

you weren’t gonna lie — the idea of giving eren jaeger sex lessons had never in your life crossed your mind. you thought this talk would just be about uplifting eren, but now that the idea was proposed you couldn’t deny it sparked an interest in you.

“reiner...y/n...do you guys hear what you’re saying?” eren gaped at you. “you want to give me sex lessons just to prove jean wrong?”

“only if you’re comfortable with it,” reiner said. “and besides, i can see the way you look at y/n. i know you like her, eren.”

even in the darkness you could see his face become covered in crimson. even you could feel yourself becoming embarrassed.

“e-eren...” something sparked inside of you, a fire igniting in your belly as you stared him. “i-is that...is it true?”

eren avoided your gaze as he answered. “yes...” he hung his head. “i’m sorry reiner. but i-i just couldn’t help it...”

“hey,” reiner chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulders. “no hard feelings. but if you want, this could be your chance to finally have her.”

you shared a glance with reiner and he rose an eyebrow to ask if that would be something you’d want. biting your lip, you shifted in your spot as both males stared at you.

“okay,” a sigh escaped your lips and a small smile grew on your lips. “i’m down if you guys are. so what do you say, eren?”

“i-i...” his turquoise eyes were filled with longing, and a little bit of hope as his pants began to become a little too tight. “i say we do it. why not?”

“great,” reiner clapped his hands together, gently taking your hand and smiling at eren. “then let’s do this then.”

-

the barracks were oddly quiet as the three of you walked back to eren’s room.

since he was a titan shifter, commander erwin had given him his own room, just in case something bad were to happen. in this case, it played out perfectly and it allowed all three of you the privacy you needed.

“a-are you sure about this?” eren asked for probably the 100th time. bless his heart, he looked so nervous as you and reiner stood before him, smiles on your faces.

“just trust us,” you said softly, walking up to gasp his hand.

“we’ll show you what to do,” reiner reassured him.

eren began to relax a bit but then tensed up as you leaned in to press your lips against his. you guys decided to start off with some gentle kissing, just to get eren to relax himself.

while you were busy with eren, reiner decided to go ahead and start shedding some clothes.

“there we go,” you cooed as eren slowly began to melt under your touch, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer.

“see, what wasn’t that bad,” you smiled when you pulled away, staring into eren’s wide eyes.

“y-you’re a really good kisser, y/n,” he compliemented, causing reiner to chuckle.

“that’s not all she can do,” reiner smirked, lifting up the hem of his shirt and then promptly throwing it off. “why don’t you strip so you can see what else her mouths does.”

your mouth dropped slightly while eren blushed again, nodding to reiner’s commands. slowly, he began to strip while you made your way over to your boyfriend.

“was that comment necessary?” you whined as reiner pulled you closer.

“just saying it like it is, babe,” he said, playing with the hem of your skirt. “besides, you know how much i love it when your mouth is wrapped around me. that’s a compliment,” reiner promised, tugging the material down.

grinning, you stepped out of it and then let reiner help you take your shirt off. once you were only in your panties and bra, reiner gestured for eren to come over.

“now this,” he gestured to your body. “is what you call a work of art. treat her right, yeah?”

“y-yeah, absolutely,” eren nodded rapidly, gaping as you unclasped your bra and let it fall to the ground. then, you removed your panties and stood utterly naked between the two men.

“fuck,” reiner looked about ready to drool. “you’re so fucking hot, baby. go on — why don’t you let eren touch you?”

you were eager to comply to with reiner’s request, stepping closer and gently guiding his hands across your body. both you and eren gasped as he came into contact with your skin, you grinding your legs together, desperate for some friction.

“come on, let’s get her on the bed so i can show you how to make her cum all over your fingers,” reiner smirked.

you and eren were all too eager to listen. gently, you crawled on the bed and laid down on your back, spreading you legs open for them to see.

“you see that?” reiner ran his fingers over your pussy which was already slick with arousal. “she’s already wet for us, eren. why don’t you touch her? i’m sure she’s just desperate for it.”

reiner was right — fire was pooling up in your belly as you became more turned on by the minute. there was something about watching eren’s innocent eyes stare at you hungrily, and hearing reiner urge him on that got you hot and bothered.

“um,” eren gently lowered his hands to your pussy, his long fingers hesitantly rubbing where reiner’s fingers just were. “is this...can i..?”

“please,” you eagerly nodded your head, gasping softly as reiner began suck on your tits.

that seemed to be the motivation that eren needed and slowly, he began to insert one of his long fingers inside of you.

you gasped again at the feeling, clenching around eren as his cock throbbed in his boxers at the feeling of your walls.

“more,” you demanded, bucking your hips to indicate that you wanted him to move.

eren complied, and soon he was adding another finger and was pumping his digits in and out of your tight pussy.

almost immediately, pleasure began to roll through your entire body. sure, his fingers weren’t as thick as reiner’s were but they were long, which meant eren could reach spots you didn’t even know existed.

“yes!” you gasped out while eren got the hang of it. reiner turned his attention away from your tits to watch him pleasure you.

“that’s it,” he coached eren, nodding in approval. “fuck her little cunt with your fingers. use your mouth on her clit to make sure she cums.”

leaning down, the bed began to creak under eren’s weight as he situated himself between your legs. you had a moment to be disappointed before eren was fingering you again, this time latching his mouth onto your clit.

“fuck yes!” you cried out as reiner decided to join him and insert his thick digits. “fuck, fuck, fuck! just like that — please.”

reiner knew exactly what you were begging for. and he knew that you wouldn’t last much longer so he and eren decided to quicken their pace, their fingers managing assault that one sweet spot over and over again.

“she’s close,” he warned eren, feeling you clench around his fingers and watching as your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

“i want her to cum on my face,” eren said firmly, keeping his head between your thighs. and sure enough, not even a moment later you were crying out, grabbing at the bedsheets as your orgasm washed over you.

“holy shit,” reiner was amazed as eren licked up every single drop of your sweetness, continuing to lap at your pussy even after you came. “you’re a natural, jaeger!”

“thanks,” eren pulled away, and finally you had a moment of relief as you panted, staring at the two men with your eyes glazed over.

“how you feeling princess?” reiner asked, his cock rock hard after seeing you come undone on eren’s face.

“i...that was amazing,” you said, your eyes wild with lust, “but i need...i need more.”

“of course,” reiner chuckled, already pulling at hems of his boxers. “you’re always a needy slut, aren’t you? aren’t even satisfied with just my cock anymore. now you want you jaeger’s too, don’t you?”

“y-yes,” you moaned out as reiner wrapped a hand around your throat, lightly squeezing it.

“what was that? i don’t think he heard you,” reiner growled. “say it again — say how much you want eren’s cock!”

“eren please!” you cried out, looking directly into his eyes. “i want your cock, so bad. i want you to be buried inside of me.”

“you heard her,” reiner smirked, releasing your throat. “she wants you to fuck her. go ahead and tell the bitch how you want it.”

“i want you on top,” eren said confidently, feeding off of reiner’s arrogance. “now.”

you wasted no time in obeying him, shifting so that eren was underneath you and so that his cock was lined up at your entrance.

reiner smacked your ass that was practically begging to be abused, causing you to yelp and accidentally brush against eren.

“fuck!” the brunette boy moaned loudly. “i can’t wait to be inside of you.”

“then go ahead,” reiner said coolly, giving him the green light. he leaned back on his thighs and after that, you barely had time to think before eren was sinking his cock into you, loud whimpers escaping the both of you.

“fuck, eren!” his name sounded like a prayer coming from your beautiful lips. eren groaned and threw his head back, not believing how good you were squeezing him as he bottomed out.

“f-fuck,” with a little encouragement from you, eren began to thrust his cock into you. you moaned as he filled you beautifully, reiner coming over to gently kiss your neck.

“there’s a good girl,” he whispered in your ear, causing shivers to run down your spine. “take his cock just like you’d take mine.”

“r-reiner,” you gasped out, staring at him with pleading eyes. “i-i n-need you too.”

“i know,” he pressed a kiss on your sweet spot and then grabbed a handful of your hair. “that’s why i’m gonna fuck that sweet little ass of yours.”

your eyes widened as reiner moved away from your neck and positioned himself behind you. gathering your juices, he spread them all over his cock before lining himself up at your tight hole.

“just like we practiced,” reiner grunted, placing a hand on your back as he slowly pushed himself in. “nice and slow.”

your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as reiner sunk into your ass. you felt completely and utterly stuffed. with eren in your pussy and reiner fucking your ass, the pleasure was just too much.

“ah fuck,” reiner let out a beautiful moan, screwing his eyes shut as he bucked his hips. “baby your ass feels so good. fuckkkk.”

“y-yn,” from underneath you, eren was moaning loudly as he continued to pound your pussy. “i...i-i’m close.”

“shit,” both men cursed as they could feel you feel you tightening around them. the coil in your stomach was unraveling. reiner made it no better as reached down to rub circles on your clit.

“cum for us, baby,” he grunted, still pounding your ass. “i wanna see you cum all over jaeger’s cock. then i wanna see that pretty little mouth of yours dripping with his seed.”

a whine left your lips are reiner’s words sent you over the edge. your body stilled, and euphoria clouded your vision as you came all over eren’s cock and reiner’s fingers.

“shit!” not even moments later, eren was pulling out of you as his own orgasm rolled over him and took to cuming in your mouth, just like reiner said.

his hot seed dribbled down your throat as you took him to the hilt, and soon reiner’s thrusts became sloppy as he let out the biggest moan, and then he filled your ass to the brink with your seed.

“god damn,” reiner cursed as he pulled out of you, his dick sensitive. he was pleased to see your ass coated in a thick layer of his cum while eren’s seed dripped down your chin.

to him, this was the hottest thing he had ever witnessed, and eren had to agree.

“holy shit,” the turquoise eyed boy was amazed as everything finally calmed down, reiner scooping you up into his arms to hold you. “that was...”

“not bad for your first time,” reiner chuckled. you were too fucked out to say anything but you offered eren a lazy smile and nodded.

“jean’s never going to be able to top this,” eren said smugly, a little pride filling his chest. he had the honor of you fucking you and then he got to cum down your throat. not to mention he helped you chase two orgasms.

“next time that little horse-faced runt has something to say, y/n and i have your back,” reiner told eren.

“thanks again,” the boy smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. he reach down to pick up all the clothes scattered on the ground, handing reiner his and yours to get dressed.

“no problem,” your boyfriend smirked, putting his boxers on and pulling your shirt over your head. “anytime you need some help, just call us.”

“will do,” eren nodded eagerly, reiner’s words getting all the more excited for the future.

[ramzawrites]

Hey, so I'm having a really rough time rn (dealing with bs from my friend group, we have to take my really old dog to the vet today bc we found blood in her pee and we're scared that she won't make it this time, I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just kinda goin thru it rn ig) so I would love a comfort fic with the sbi maybe with the reader as their sibling where the reader is the one that always comforts the fam, but hides their emotions until (1/2, very sorry about splitting it)

(2/2) something happens that makes the reader have a full on breakdown? I'll leave the rest to you, it can be a good or bad ending, headcanons or one shots, anything. You can ignore this request if you want/if it makes you uncomfortable. Please don't feel pressured/guilt tripped to write anything from this, your mental health comes first and I'm sure you're already really busy. Reminder to eat something today if you haven't yet and get a drink of water <3

We are family - Reader and SBI!Brothers

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, (mentioned) Niki, (mentioned) Schlatt

Warnings: n/a

Series: a request <3

Summary: Y/N came back from an errand and surprises their brothers with their weird behavior. Trying to put on their usual smile, trying to hide away their real emotions but their brothers know them better than they inititally suspected. They could immediately tell that something must have happened.

Words count: 2060

Authors Note: I’m so sorry this took so long! I hope you and your dog are doing better! 💙 I wish I could give you more than words of encouragement and that I managed to get faster to this request, I apologize Please make sure to take care of yourself, alright? Take time for yourself to deal with the stress and anxiety! Make sure to stay hydrated and remember to eat! Even if it’s just something small!

Once again I apologize for the long wait, I felt really bad already and then I kinda put it off because I felt bad.

adhd hit hard again and haven’t checked for typos yet, but will get on it as soon as I can o7

On another note if you want to read another comfort fic; I have a small series called “A Painful Reminder” which is more angsty but the 2nd part is more about the comfort, if that is something for you 

Living in the SMP was chaotic, turbulent and at times downright painful.

Most people tended to gravitate to one cause or other people to deal with this. Holding on to something so they don’t get pulled under. Get buried beneath the chaos and the violence.

So having people like Y/N around was like a godsend. They were one of the few people that seemed to be able to withstand the constant waves of misfortune and stand strong. Be the rock to hold onto when everything got too overwhelming.

Wilbur, Technoblade and Tommy loved their sibling for it.

After Wilbur and Tommy got exiled with Y/N out of L’Manberg, they were there and cheered both of their siblings up. Immediately making plans on how to set up a safe home and collecting ideas on how to get back. They were the one who managed to get a message out to Technoblade and asked him to visit them. Maybe help them.

Wilbur often jokingly said that Y/N was the glue that held the family together, to which they would always reply with the warmest of smiles “I’m glad.”

And what he said was true. Whenever the family fell on hard times and they began to drift apart it was Y/N who pulled all of them back. Pulling them back to reality and giving solutions for their problems if needed.

Sitting down with Wilbur when things got to much. Listening to his thoughts and worries, letting his emotion run freely without judgement. While they looked worried for him, their comforting smile never faltered. Offering him solutions to problems if he wanted it, otherwise they gave him the chance to just air his own thoughts out. To be angry with him. Sad with him.

Working with Tommy on his own projects. Listening to his ideas and giving him a different perspective that could improve some things but also respecting it when Tommy wanted to do this his way. And while he liked to brag and pretend that some things didn’t hit him that hard, they were still patiently listening to him as he spoke about his own pain in a more roundabout way. Telling him that he was not alone and making him feel heard.

Talking to Technoblade whenever the voices got too loud or out of hand again. He would just walk over to them and nudge them away, asking them to talk about something, no matter what. He just needed to hear their voice and be able to concentrate on it. Tune out the garbled voices in his head with a familiar sound that calmed him down no matter what. Leaning against them, slowly falling asleep as Y/N told all about how they were happily working on their own farm and what shenanigans they got up to.

Y/N really was like the warm sun on a cold day. Warming them up and protecting them.

Yes, Y/N was strong. So strong that even Technoblade considered them stronger than him. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally.

A clanging of metal rung through the cave. Techno was training with Wilbur while Tommy was just watching. Cheering on Techno.

It wasn’t an unusual situation and something Y/N expected to see as they made their way down the staircase. Wilbur in full iron armor and weapon while Techno just fought back with his own iron sword.

“Hey, Y/N! Welcome back!” Wilbur breathed out. Sweat running down the side of his face as he stopped attacking his brother.

The three men looked happily over to their sibling who slowly walked towards them but soon their expressions fell. Something was off about Y/N and it confused the three.

Their smile was as always plastered on their face but it looked strained. Their eyes wide open, trying to look sincere and loving but the glassy look of them gave off a different picture.

“Y/N? You okay?” Tommy asked as he stood up from the ground. Taking a step closer to them which made them in return stop in their tracks.

Y/N was hugging themself, shakily opening up their mouth to answer but nothing came out. It was then when Techno got very aware of how they were shaking in general.

This all seemed so wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. It just didn’t seem to register fully inside their minds.

Wilbur made sure to get rid off his sword and armor as fast as he could, walking over to his sibling, trying to get a better look at them but they just avoided his gaze.

Staring at the ground, slowly shaking their head “It’s- It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. You really aren’t. What happened? Did they find you?” Techno asked, his voice full with worry. A bit of anger hidden as well.

Y/N had their own little farm in order to support Pogtopia. The potatoes from Techno were great but variety is important after all. Though they also had an abundance of wheat they usually tried to smuggle into Manberg for Niki. Trying to help her out as much as possible with her taxes and work.

This time Y/N nodded “They did… It’s fine though. I’m fine. I’m not hurt. It’s all good.”

Wilbur’s frown deepened “Usually when people have to be so adamant about being okay something isn’t alright.”

Tommy nodded, supporting his statement only to whisper to himself “Adamant? What does-“

But Wilbur continued “We are your family, talk to us.”

Y/N licked their chapped lips “I’m-“

The tears finally escaped their eyes and begun streaming down their face. Sobbing they fell down on the ground. Wilbur immediately followed suit, laying his arm around them and pulling them against his chest. His hand flew up to their head and begun going through their hair, trying to calm them down. Humming a soft tune from their childhood.

It was the first time in their lives they saw Y/N break down like that and it was quite frankly shocking.

Unsure what to do with himself Tommy squatted down “Um, uh, what- what happened?”

Techno was still gripping the iron sword in his hand. Pacing up and down. Manberg found them? What the hell did they do to make Y/N break down like that? His own sibling! Whatever it was he would make sure to pay it back a thousand times over.

“Tommy can you grab them some water?” Wilbur laid his chin on top of Y/N’s head, rubbing circles now on their back.

He didn’t even hesitate, jumping up to run towards one of the chests with food items that Y/N had always ready for them. Grabbing a water bottle and running back over. Happy that he could do something else besides staring.

Tommy then pushed the bottle towards Y/N who gratefully took it, putting some space between them and Wilbur as they drank some of the cold liquid which helped them to calm down.

“You ready to tell us what happened?” Techno stopped pacing around. His gaze purely trained on his crying sibling. Anger still rising in him just like the voices.

Screaming things like “Technosib! How dare they hurt them! Protect them! I love Y/N so much! Why would anyone hurt Y/N! They always help us! Let’s help them for a change! Technosib! Let’s go out and fight them! Yeah! Blood for the Blood God and Y/N!”

Y/N’s voice was still wavering and a bit scratchy from their sobbing as they begun speaking “Hey, hey! Techno don’t concentrate on the voices. Listen to me. It’s all good.”

This somehow made Techno angry. He threw the sword away and finally knelt down next to them as well so his face was on the same eye level as theirs “Stop. Please. Stop thinking about us for one second. Stop trying to not make us uncomfortable or worried! Tell us what happened! Please.”

He was basically begging at the last part. All his worry packed into it.

“Yeah, honestly you trying to make sure everything is okay for us makes us even more worried.” It surprised the others a bit that this came from Tommy but he was correct.

Tears fell down their face again “I- I was just delivering more wheat to Niki and someone must have followed me. They followed me back to my farm and- and- they burned my fields down. There were explosions. I- it was just my farm. I did not harm. Just, why does it always have to end like this. Why do all the good things always end like this. Why can’t this place let something be. There is always something.”

The farm was so important to Y/N. It was their little project they put so much sweat, love and work into. It was their home away from home. A place to retreat and enjoy some peace. This obviously was devastating. It was their one thing they had for themself. The one thing that wasn’t there for anyone else but them.

It was also clear that this seemed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and it broke the three a bit that they only now seemed to notice this. That it took that long and their whole farm being destroyed for the realize this was heartbreaking.

“Who?” Techno urged but Y/N shook their head.

“I don’t know. Everything went so fast and I tried to save as much as I could but- but it’s all gone. It’s all gone.” Their voice jumped up an octave at the end, burying their face against Wilbur’s shoulder again. Silently sobbing.

It should have been impossible but Wilbur’s frown deepened and his expression turned more grim “Don’t worry. We will get back at them. We will get our revenge. They will see firsthand what they did to you, I promise.”

Shocked Y/N looked up, their red and puffy eyes wide open “Wil, that’s not what I- no revenge. There is already too much misery going around I just want this to stop. I just want all of us being able to live in peace.”

Wilbur should have known that Y/N was too good natured for that but he couldn’t help himself. He was just so angry. Angry at Schlatt and Manberg. That they went for him was one thing but to go out of their way to treat Y/N like this? Let’s just say he put it on the list in bold letters with reasonings on why he will get back at the Manberg faction.

“Listen Y/N.” Techno begun, his voice now calm again “Stop it. Just for once think about yourself. Stop thinking about others for once. You are also worthy of the same care you give us. Let us at least help rebuild your farm. You always help us with our projects, let us help you with yours.”

Tommy seemed to lit up at that “That sounds like a good idea! We could build towers around your new farm and make sure no one gets in! We could put down traps and all!”

He really wasn’t sure how to react but that was at least something he could do for them. As the past General’s right hand man, this should be something he can do. If he couldn’t protect his sibling how could he ever hope to get L’Manberg back.

Wilbur seemed to think about it for a bit but agreed “Yeah, how does that sound?” Though the dark glint in his eyes stayed. The cogs in head still running off with his own thoughts.

“You guys would? Since when can you guys build?” a dry laugh escaped them but it was a laugh nonetheless.

Both Tommy and Wilbur looked almost appalled at that claim while Techno just shrugged and nodded. Just looking around Pogtopia was more functioning than good looking after all. Y/N tried to pretty it up a bit but usually something always happened around here.

“Also Y/N, please talk to us more. Don’t bottle everything up. Please. We worry a lot about you and we love you. You always do so much for us, let us do the same.” Wilbur pushed Y/N a bit off of him and looked them deep into their eyes, hoping that this would really hammer in that this was a genuine plea.

As a respone Y/N wiped the tears off their face “I understand. I’ll try to remember that.”

“Don’t try just do it.”