#correction: this scene takes place in the 80s

[we-re-always-alright]

I’ve been watching the Shining Girls on and off because a) takes place in Chicago and b) do enjoy an Elizabeth Moss performance but. you can tell they got like some parts of Chicago right. but then other parts…. oof. painful for a local

[victoriadallonfan]

Let's Talk About the Alien vs Predator Films

Talk about wasted potential, am I right?

I'm struggling to format this in an interesting way, since so much has been covered over the past 20 years since the first film was released. You can read my thoughts on Aliens Franchise and the Predator Franchise as well.

Note that it doesn't include Alien: Romulus, but suffice to say it was a good movie!

I think the best place to start is with covering the themes of Alien and Predator, and the history before these films were created (and the failure of Fox).

My fellow AvP enjoyer @agendergorgon has already posted some thoughts on the topic, giving me a lot to think about, so check out their blog too!

For the purposes of this review, I am not going to include Alien 3, Alien: Resurrection, Prometheus, nor Alien: Covenant.... mostly. The AvP films really don't take much of anything beyond the first two films, though I will touch on Prometheus when it comes to religion.

Ditto for the Predator films, but that's because Predator wouldn't get a third film until 2010, 3 years after the AvP duo.

The themes of Alien Franchise:

I'm sure the first thing to come to mind is that the Alien series is about sexual assault, and you'd be correct. The xenomorph is designed to be extremely phallic, the facehuggers quite literally rape their victims, Burke locks his victims (including a child) in a room to be raped, Ash tries to murder Ripley by thrusting a rolled up porn magazine down her throat etc etc.

Some of you might also remember how Aliens was noted by James Cameron to be a criticism of the Vietnam War, Corporate Greed, and the callous arrogance of the US Military. The xenomorphs represented the innumerable "faceless" soldiers that could overwhelm more advanced enemies with ambush tactics and numbers, Burke thinks only in "goddamn percentages" and how this could benefit himself and the company, and the Colonial Marines are not only woefully mismanaged a newly brought on commander but also completely delusional with their own sense of invulnerability, only to break and panic under pressure once they meet a foe who is determined to fight to the death.

(I will NOT be tackling the fucked-upness of comparing people fighting for their independence vs a fucking Xenomorph, because holy fucking shit, it is literally the opposite AND worse counterpart to having the Predators be colonizers)

But, in the broader scope of the series, Alien - and the xenomorph - represent the uncontrollable, unfathomable, unknown. What are they? Why were they there? What are their motives? How did they end up in that ship? Were they built? How do they 'see'? Why did the xenomorph spare Jonesy the Cat? Are they intelligent life? How on earth do they function with their bizarre biology?

We don't get any real answers to these questions in the original films. The whole point of these movies is that there are things that mankind does not understand, and the horrors of space are vast. And equally terrifying is the arrogance of man (and synth kind) to think they can harness this horror for profit at the expense of human lives.

The themes of the Predator Franchise:

There's been tons of articles on how Predator is either a reconstruction or deconstruction (depending on who you ask) of the 80's action hero flick. A team of muscle laden, big gun toting, sweaty men spouting off one-liners as they mow down their enemies in a secret CIA led operation during the Cold War, interrupted by the presence of an intergalactic hunter than treats these badasses like mere toys. The massive Arnold Schwarzenegger is smacked out like a mouse facing off against a particularly cruel cat, needing to rely on tricks - not his brawns or guns - to stay alive and eventually defeat the Predator.

Others might point to its related take down of machismo. The opening scene is rife with characters testing each other's physical strength against each other such as with Dillon and Dutch, Ventura and Dutch have a small face-off in the helicopter as they try to make a pecking order, Ventura makes a whole speech about being a "sexual tyrannosaurus" and then mocked about sticking a gun up his "sore-ass", Hawkins repeatedly tries to make pussy and sex jokes, and they end up with a single woman in the group who is treated more like an object and baggage than a person for much of the movie. All of these men are emasculated by the Predator, some of them not even lasting a single second to its predations (both in tech and physicality), all of them losing any sense of quips and confidence, and the sole woman of the group survives because she didn't fit the movie's (and Predator's) mold of "tough as nails". When Arnold/Dutch is rescued by helicopter, it's not a cheerful one; he's haunted by what he endured and remains silent as the film pans into his thousand-yard stare.

All of this applies to Predator 2 as well, amping up the violence, dick measuring, and rules of the Predator targeting anyone who thinks they are tough shit for carrying a gun or knife. Even Danny Glover's victory is bittersweet, because he is now left in the middle of dozens of officer deaths, and entire subway car filled with corpses, and an antique flintlock pistol that promises the return of the Predators to Earth.

In a much broader sense, the Predator films are about the oversaturation of violence and lack of care for human life. Predator 1's main plot before he arrives is the CIA using Green Berets and then Dutch's special ops team to clean up their dirty work, giving them false information and not even reporting the Berets being MIA in furtherance of their Cold War goals (slaughtering guerrillas who were working with Soviet Russia). In Predator 2, the police are seen as being ineffective because they trample on each other's jurisdiction, with the Federal task force being willing to kill their own cops to keep the Predator existence a secret and letting it hunt people down for a better chance at capture and experimentation.

The Predator creatures are the epitome of such greed and arrogance. They are the General Zaroffs of The Most Dangerous Game, taken to a new height by showing that human lives literally mean nothing to them beyond a trophy hunt. They care nothing about our social lives, our politics, our loved ones, because for them this is nothing more than the equivalent of posh British Elite going on a Fox Hunt: cruel and sadistic, just to placate their egos. They will violate the corpses of the dead and taunt those in mourning, for the thrill of the game. And in that sense, the Predators are very human antagonists: they are not unfathomable nor are their goals beyond our understanding. The horror of the Predators is that they are creatures we can understand, communicate with, and even see similarities in their culture to ours... and that culture is putting us on a trophy rack alongside other skulls of creatures they felt a thrill to hunt.

So, did the Alien vs Predator films cover even half of these topics?

Well... kinda? Just... not well.

Not well at all.

The Build Up

Alien and Predator have a connected history dating back to the creation of the Predator itself. Stan Winston was on a flight with James Cameron some time after the famous director had finished with Aliens, and the director made a comment about wanting to see a monster with mandibles, which eventually led to the creature we know and love today.

Predator's debut on screen was also often compared to Aliens due to the superficially similar premise of a team of commandos going on a mission and fighting an unknown alien threat.

Despite what some people think, the AvP series wasn't started by the films.

Yes, there was a particularly memorable scene in Predator 2, where the City Hunter is admiring his trophy room and a xenomorph skull can be seen mounted on the wall (though, fun fact, it's actually an inaccurate depiction as xenomorph skulls look more humanoid facing), but that wasn't the first time the duo met in media.

And I'm not referring to the 1993 Arcade Game either (since that only came out a year after Predator 2).

The Alien vs Predator comic first appeared in 1989. And there were publications continuing ever since.

Think about that going forward. There was 25 years of content to choose from, storylines they could adapt, interesting forays into the cosmology and interactions between Yaujta, Xenomorphs, and Humanity.

The movies used exactly none of it (barring 1 thing: the Predalien).

Alien vs Predator (2004)

The plot of this movie is that Weyland-Yutani corporation detects a heat bloom under the ice in Antartica that reveals an underground pyramid, and in a race against his competitors, Weyland rounds up a team of elite experts led by Lex Woods to investigate the ruins (and find that the Predators have left them a convenient tunnel to enter the deep ice). Only to find out that this was a trap, as the pyramid comes to life activates a Xenomorph Queen, unleashing a brood of facehuggers on the helpless crew, all the while the Predators hunt them down. After a spectacular shitshow and release of the Xenomorph Queen, Lex and the last Predator (Scar) have to reluctantly team up to escape the pyramid and blow up the xenomorphs, ending in a final battle with the Xenomorph Queen. Scar perishes in the fight, but Lex manages to send the Queen into the depth of the artic ocean, and is rewarded by the watching Eldar Predator with a spear for her troubles. A post-credit scene reveals that Scar had a chest-burster inside of him, birthing the Predalien!

Rewatching this movie, I'm surprised at how good it looks. The opening scene of the satellite in space, several shots of the ship (and spaceship), the frozen tundra, the set pieces like the Xenomorph Queen Prison, and the CGI!

The CGI! Of 2004! I was shocked that they looked so good for something that is 20 years old now, but they did really well for themselves.

But it was the practical effects that blew me away the most. The shifting Pyramid is absolutely iconic and the abandoned whaling station is suitably creepy. The face-huggers look amazing and the xenomorphs are just *chefs kiss*. It's so funny seeing these Xenomorph effects compared to that of Alien:Covenant, and seeing how much work bodysuit and puppetry can do to make a monster look so much more terrifying than a CGI creature.

I know a lot of people didn't like the Predator's bulky appearance in this movie, but honestly... I dig it? It makes sense that not all Predators are literally built the same, and that the ones who would choose to go hunting in the artic would be the bigger ones who could hold more body heat. And the movie does a really great fucking job of making these Predators look badass and distinct from each other, with Celtic having the coolest mask of the whole group.

And the way the movie is shot is really fantastic! There are a lot of wide and tracking shots where the movie lets the atmosphere do the work instead of badgering us with words, taking its time to build up tension and soak up the visuals. One of my favorites shots they did was slow roam through the Predator ship as the systems come to life and we get to see holograms come on-line, feeding information directly into their masks. Equally good was when the Xenomorph Queen is awakened to cackling electricity and ominous lighting, showing us how vast this chamber is and how huge this Queen is in comparison to the one Ripley faces.

The same goes for most of the actions scenes, with a decent amount of cool slow-mo shots for things like Face-huggles launching themselves, Predators leaping across chasms, and showing Scar's impressive athleticism when he leaps 10 meters into the air and stabs a spear through the Queens skull.

And I can always rewatch the first time Alien Meets Predator Fight. God, that score! The music is just so damn good!!! You really feel like you are watching two massive horrors from space finally finding themselves sharing a space together.

Honestly, the Predators using the Xenomorphs as some kind of fucked up exotic pet for hunting trials and training fits the lore PERFECTLY. It’s actually a literal fox hunt not just metaphorical (and of course, in typical Alien fashion, it all went to shit).

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem (2007)

"Wait, Ridtom/VictoriaDallonFan, are you about to say something nice about AvP:R?!"

Well, after turning up the brightness and hanging blankets over my windows and then watching the movie underneath more blankets... yes!

For one thing, the Alien and Predator effects are spectacular! Some of the best work I've seen in the franchises! The fight scenes are creative and use really cool set-pieces like the sewer and power plant, where we get to see Wolf (the name of the Predator of this movie) absolutely kick ass and slaughter his way through hordes of Xenomorphs. Not that the xenos are left in the dust, as they get plenty of murders on screen and even outsmart Wolf on occasion.

I actually like the Predalien design and the idea that it’s more intelligent than the average Xeno, including holding personal grudges and understanding Predator behavior.

And the Predator tech is really cool too! We got laser grids, land mines, power fists, converting the plasma caster into a plasma pistol And I love the moment where Wolf kidnaps one of the human protags to use as live bait. Such a dick thing to do but so in-character.

Even the bits we get of Wolf mourning his fellow dead hunters was a neat addition.

And to be honest, I didn’t mind the idea of seeing an actual xenomorph infestation in real time, in a small town. I think that sort of setting would be really fun for a one-shot story.

And… that’s it. That’s all the good stuff.

What Went Wrong?

I compiled a list of sources where I got a lot of information on the AvP production: Source 1, Source 2, Source 3, Source 4

Note that a lot of these are 20 years old so I apologize for the outdated and honestly abhorrent word use that some articles and videos may use. And another apology for using the Xenopedia wiki, it was just a good shorthand for other information.

In short: Fox fucking sucks. They will absolutely self-sabotage themselves in order to make a (perceived) profit. Tom Rothman is the most well known (and he’s gone to Sony as of now), but Fox has had a looong history of being stingy and terrified of any risks for their films.

The sheer amount of drama involving Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection is an insane rollercoaster.

AvP removed pretty much any sense of horror and purposely had the design of the Predators to be more “human” and “heroic” (hence the weird human eyes and bulky physique), with a PG-13 rating for more audience numbers. While the human characters aren’t bad, they are not unique or even memorable (barring the fandom romantic tension between Lexi and the final Predator). Also, it was very weird that the Predators couldn’t kill a single Xenomorph, meanwhile the Colonial Marines couldn’t trip without blasting apart swarms of them. It felt like they really wanted to save money on the film in that regard.

AvP:R was even worse, with it being filmed with such a lack of lighting that people could not actually see any of the movie, and even modern advancements in color grading make it a strain. The human characters are awful, just absolutely boring and unremarkable beyond being veiled callbacks to characters from Alien, and we get a bunch of stupid Dawson’s Creek drama involving teenagers who look like they are 30 years old fighting over a girl who has no personality because she was written to just be “hot girl”.

If the story had focused entirely on the wife coming home from the war and dealing with the fact that her own daughter doesn’t feel close or comfortable with her after years of being gone, there could have been focus and themes and yadda yadda yadda.

Also, while this movie at least has horror aspects, did we REALLY need to see the Xenomorphs eating the fetuses and belly bursting out of still screaming mothers? Like, there is horror and then there is just being gross.

Final Thoughts

I often wonder if AvP took the wind out of the sails of Prometheus. Both play with the idea of humans worshiping aliens as gods, because Ancient Aliens is fucking everywhere, but it’s really hard to take Prometheus seriously when you remember AvP did basically the same setup (with arguably smarter characters).

And these movies have really soiled the idea of the AvP franchise barring the video games and comics. There’s apparently an AvP anime locked up in Disney Vaults and so far, both franchises have kept their respectful distances from each other.

However, with the recent successes of Alien: Romulus and Prey, there’s been a bit of a stir with some comments hinting at a potential AvP future.

Who knows. It’s been 17 years, perhaps 3rd time is the charm.

[issa-wasteland]

Lisa Frankenstein 🧟‍♂️💖

I truly love Lisa Frankenstein for many reasons. From Taffy actually making the effort to include Lisa in the their family and her social group despite being the popular cheerleader. We don't see that much in movies as it is refreshing to see that in a character who wants to be more than what social role she fits into and caring for her step-sister. As for the step-mom, Janet was the one who needed help and took every opportunity to blame Lisa for anything. She most definitely projected the "wanting attention" onto Lisa cause she brings it up almost every conversation as you can see she does her little theatrics in front of Dale and Dale gives her that attention and less for Lisa.

*I found it ironic how the creature was wearing a shirt that says "Violent Femmes" on it as they chuck out a worm in Janet's bowl then murdered Janet with a sewing machine, and stole her ear.

*Most of the boys and men in this movie suck and perverted. From Dale being a negligent father to Lisa but supportive of Taffy, Lisa's boss is a weird perv who commented on her "flat chest," Doug being the "Nice guy" who's downright terrible and could've SA'd Lisa, That bigot old man who started a fight with the creature, and Michael Trent who is a loser.

*The outfits in this movie was so fitting for the time that it takes place in. It doesn't feel forced (?) If that makes sense whenever a movie or tv show takes place in the 80s.

*I wonder if Lisa ever re-drew that lighting on her hand cause she has it on her hand throughout the movie. And, if Lisa continues to raid Taffy's closet for clothes then it's correct to assume she also lends Taffy's clothes to the creature?? The pj's Lisa wore were cute especially the cowboy one.

*Lisa gets on the creature for murder and how the car they were in is probably tracked yet hardly cover up the blood stain on the carpet?? Plus she's so aware of knowing the things they did is wrong but not entirely sorry for it.

*Her speech to Michael totally made sense cause I'm sure people knew a guy who is exactly what Lisa was talkin about and that does make them a loser.

*I love how the creature wasted no time to cut off some peen as they turned up the music, slashed, and collected what was needed before going on their merry way.

* Also the creature is most definitely trans and Lisa was very understanding to tell them that pretty much peen is not the only way to feel satisfied during sex 🏳️‍⚧️

*Cole sprouse really nails on showing the creature yearning for Lisa especially when they're back at the cemetery.

*Hand kisses 💋 💖💖👌 as the sex scene  surprisingly doesn't feel cringe or uncomfortable to watch like some intimate scenes in movies.

*Using a tanning bed as a way to bring life into the creature is an interesting concept as does a reverse and "kills" Lisa. Plus she just has bad luck with electricity, the girl gets shocked using the "back massager."

This movie was just overall fun to watch 💋

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 4 thoughts

here we are!!! i actually turned off auto caps on my phone for this; that’s how serious this blog is getting. don't worry, i'll probably remember to turn it back on before i send an important email.

i haven’t seen an ep in a few days and i feel like it has been 80 years. the last episode wasn’t the greatest, so our time apart feels even longer.

this episode is about a guy named clyde. clyde bruckman is a hell of a name. i’m expecting a real cowboy. a guy who knows his way around a horse. he probably spits chew in a certain fashion. we shall see if i’m correct.

(editor's note: op found that clyde was not a cowboy, but something just as special... a friend <3)

we open with a man reading a magazine article on predictions, written by a celebrity psychic. we later learn that this fellow doing the reading is, in fact, clyde bruckman. and elvis being dead but buddy holly being alive has got to be one of the greatest theories i’ve ever heard. i WILL incorporate this into my belief system.

allegedly, buddy holly is going to open at a big music festival. and this is how i learn that lollapalooza was a thing even before chappell roan visited... but we all know that when she steps on that stage in a few short weeks it will blow anything secretly alive buddy holly could have cooked up in his wildest dreams. "the night the music died" <- crazy thing to say about a time before miss roan was even born. anyway...

bruckman ran into someone in the street. feels like a chekov’s gun moment but who knows.

hint: it was!

now the clumsy man is at the psychic. and he says he saw his own future and he seem himself doing things that are “out of character”. now that's suspicious~

OH??? clumsy man just killed the fortune teller and says she should have seen this coming. HUH???? clumsy murder man needs to be punished …our psychics deserve federal protection. 

we are at the scene of a murder. a different murder, because this one did NOT take place in the psychic's room. “they say the eyes capture the last thing a murder victim sees” “so what do they say about the entrails?” “yuck” LMAO i giggled a little….

they’re talking about some guy in vague terms, that he’s “unorthodox” and “a kook”, and then mulder walks in and it looks like they’re talking about him but the investigator says “who the hell are you” HAHAHA that got me as well

so the murderer left behind the eyeballs and scully says that they made a profile for the killer and i’m thinking yaaaaay they worked together <3 i love that spooky mulder, the well-established profiling expert, is willing to collaborate. but with her only.

and also the house is filled with porcelain dolls 

mulder knowing the professional name for the people who read tea leaves… unfortunately i love him so bad.

THEN the real star of the show rolls up. it’s the psychic from the cover of the magazine we saw clyde reading earlier. CROWDED w paparazzi. he's got a vague european accent going on here. hold up is that jon favreau in the background. i received no clarification on if that was him or not.

psychic is describing a guy who could be literally anyone “white man with facial hair… or not” “tattoo somewhere on his body” wow king of specifics. it's like he's in the room with us. /s

the agents are watching him do this and share a glance and i want it on a poster it’s sooo cute <3

celebrity psychic says he lost the vision from negative energy and then gets right up in the agent’s faces. they handle it pretty well, all things considered. because i would be telling him to back tf up. 

he asks mulder to LEAVE!!!! he has been diagnosed with negative energy. she leans in and says “i can’t take you anywhere” LMAOOOO so he stands outside and then the psychic says that skeptics like mulder make him sick. yeah i laughed!!! so what!

description of our guy: “white male, 17-34, with or without a beard, maybe a tattoo, who is impotent” <- wow.

back to the clyde cam. he's selling insurance. telling some guy that he is going to die in a car crash. well this is an effective life insurance sales policy. or not, because he doesn’t close the deal!! sure would have worked on me.

back home, he takes out some moldy cabbage that looks like a guy’s head into the trash. takes out his neighbor’s trash as well, and sees a vision of the dog eating her remains. (sabrina brier voice) oh!!!

(wait i just realized i reference that video all the time and have never cited my sources. if you are unfamiliar with the legendary "oh!" moment please click here)

back to the plot at hand.

clyde asks if his neighbor has enough dog food. thoughtful man. BUT he sees a body in the trash!

this episode is making me giggle <- don't remember what prompted that note but it was true.

clyde, who reported the murder, says that he knew the eyes were cut out, but she was found face down... so. how do you know that. site your sources. “well it just figures”, he says, and it absolutely, and i cannot emphasize this enough, does not

they bring him to… a murder scene. dun dun dun!

he thinks they're pranking him and asks to see their identification again (sees mulder’s badge) “i’m supposed to believe that’s a real name?” yeah get him again for me.

he sees blood at the crime scene and throws up which... yeah. that’s pretty messed up. he emerges from throwing up and starts saying and doing the same things as the earlier psychic. but then he starts getting... a bit more specific. allegedly, the woman was having sex with the killer before she met her end.

“well then, what’s wrong?” “sometimes, it just seems that everyone’s having sex except for me” LMAOOOOOOOOO clyde you are too real

scully looks soooo confused and i love it

all of a sudden, he sees one of the many dolls as a bloated corpse head, and announces where they’ll find the body then… hands the doll to mulder. which is not the first time we have seen him holding a doll. it is an interesting visual. what are they trying to tell us??

scully isn’t buying it. why does clyde know all this stuff? “i don’t believe he’s the killer”, says mulder, and she responds with, “i don’t believe he’s psychic” yeah that’s the dynamic i love. and she is sooooo pretty. 

mulder goes to the dude’s house and he knows exactly what is going on. but then clyde seems shocked it's him so we are getting mixed messages here.

he asks mulder if he wants to know how he’s going to die, and mulder says yes after stuttering a little and i’m like WOAH where is this going… but clyde responds with “no you don’t”, which, okay yeah, i don’t think i could handle that either

(he goes on to try and sell mulder insurance)

clyde says the future is inevitable. or if he does get involved… what if there is the whole butterfly effect thing? and then he immediately agrees to going along with the investigation. king of not having an answer. the indecisive representation we deserve.

mulder you’re so pretttttyy... look at him watching clyde touch some brass frogs and base conclusions off of them.

scully arrived at the door as mulder has his head FLAT ON THE TABLE lmaoooo 

so, it appears that clyde can ONLY tell how people are going to die. nothing else. now is that useful to this investigation? it's arguable. maybe they can find an angle.

clyde says that the scrap of fabric he’s holding comes from mulder’s new york knick’s t shirt (which was a thing that happened in 1x13 when he was testing that other psychic!!!! ohhhh i remember! do not think i forgot!! and i was confused as to why he would have a knick’s shirt if he was from new england... perhaps he knows no loyalty to geography when it comes to sport)

but mulder denies that it is his shirt anyway, so.

they found keychains on the bodies, and clyde is going on about all the personal information of whoever owned said keychains. it turns out he just sold the guy an insurance policy a few months ago lmaooo... but he knows he was murdered! the death power strikes again.

scully is driving. clyde is in the passenger seat. mulder is sticking his head in between them, asking how he receives his psychic transmissions. it's funny. he wants to know how being a psychic works! so is it like, visions, or dreams or something?

he then implies that mulder will die by autoerotic asphyxiation <- HELLO????? he looks at scully after receiving this news. as if she can possibly defend him against such an accusation.

they’re in the forest looking for a body and clyde explains he knew “the big bopper” was going to die.

scully says she doesn’t believe in that stuff, and even if she did, she wouldn’t believe that story. damn, just really going for his throat, huh. he seems to believe her indignation is over the fact that he liked the big bopper better than buddy holly and he defends himself.

they try to get the car out and mulder’s suit gets all dirty (this is sad to me, a mulder suit enjoyer) but gasp!!! the car is RIGHT OVER THE BODY. that has to be bad for finding evidence. so he did know exactly where it was!!!!

they have a thread from the scene, and have presented it to clyde. “but don’t you have crime labs that analyze these things for you?” he asks scully “yes. yes we do” (pointed glare at mulder) LMAOOOO but he says it takes time!!! and they still haven't analyzed the other thread. so please please please just give your powers a go.

he doesn’t want to help out, but mulder says he wants some insurance. on the fiber, not actual life insurance :( clyde was so excited to tell him the benefits of general mutual!!!

clyde is describing mulder being stalked by the killer sometime in the future, and all of a sudden scully’s up and asking him for more details like she believes it. awww. it’s sweet in a way. does she believe in psychics? no. is she still gonna take detailed notes when one says mulder is in any slight danger? yeah. and don't worry about that seeming to contradict her belief system. she is complicated beyond simple characterizations of skeptic or believer.

he seems to think that the killer will slit mulder’s throat at the investigation, but he doesn’t want to tell him. he DOES tell him that he will step on a pie before whatever happens to him, happens to him.

thank you to the subtitles for clarifying that clyde was imitating johnny carson because they reference would have been lost on me. i know, i’m uncultured, i’m sorry. i’ll google it though. okay, as i thought, he was a late night host. see? we get an exchange of knowledge on this blog, i learn about johnny carson's way of pronouncing the word "killer" and you can use sabrina brier's "oh" in conversation now.

it seems the killer sent clyde a letter saying he’ll kill him. and he’ll be dead before they can get him help :( noooo i like mr bruckman!!! :(

back to the killer. he’s getting a tarot reading and says he’s looking for a guy he’s gonna kill. the man doing the tarot reading smiles nervously, because what do you say in such a situation.

they seem to have bought clyde a pie after his earlier ramblings on the subject, and he kindly asks scully if she wants some, but she denies because she must study background checks instead of relying upon visions. he asks if she is jealous. a good banter between them.

back at the tarot place, the reader mentions a woman. MAYBE A REDHEAD...? stay away from her…

clyde is going on about seeing himself in bed with scully. HELLO??? “it’s just a very special moment neither of us will ever forget” huh. laughs nervously. what the fuck. is she gonna find him dead or do we need to call HR.

(cries editing this, now that i know how the episode ends)

it seems the tarot card guy is about to get murdered. but back at the hotel room with clyde and scully, they’re playing cards and she’s talking about moby dick and macbeth misinterpreting prophecies...

but despite the denial, SHE ASKS HIM HOW SHE DIES??? he says “you don’t” and that is exactly what i like to hear <3

she seemed really serious about it too, like she didn’t want to admit that she was curious, initially deflecting. oh best believe i WILL psychoanalyze that.

LMAOOO okay so this is the episode where mulder says the “chantilly lace” line and she makes that face. he's referring to another thread found at a murder scene, but i saw it in a gif and i have been thinking about it since then.

she slaps his chest with the file and says good luck as he goes to babysit the old man psychic. it was very affectionate. do it again.

mulder is in bed. it’s sleepover time with the old man. “you’re not one of those people that turns everything into a sexual symbol, are you?”, clyde asks, seemingly self-conscious about revealing his recurring dream. mulder says no, but i’m unconvinced.

anyway, he talks about seeing himself dead, and how his body fades away. we see a cgi decomposing body and it’s quite gnarly. maybe it's clay? and all his skin faded away and he becomes bones. kinda gross tbh. but he says he feels at peace.

there’s been another murder, so another guy is gonna babysit our clyde, and i’m thinking noooo don’t trust this other guy!!

scully says she feels bad, that clyde has convinced himself he is a psychic and it’s taken all the joy out of his life :(

okay, the guy babysitting him seems to be telling him jokes. clyde says he won’t die of lung cancer so he lights up. and i'm thinking, buddy, he did not rule out emphysema.

hang on. that is a lighter we have seen before. in the hands of old lady who shall be eaten by dogs. now is this a mass produced object or are we about to witness the end of clyde!!!!

“don’t open that door for anybody”, says the babysitter, and clyde then immediately proceeds to do so. and who is it knocking but the psychic killer delivering their room service!!!

killer is asking clyde why he does these things and it’s “because you’re a homicidal maniac” well that would explain it! and then he stabs the babysitter. but clyde has delayed his fate by telling the murder he doesn’t kill him now. seems he believes him. clever thinking.

scully realizes that the killer is the bellhop at the hotel after seeing some more lace. which mulder describes as “woman’s intuition” yea <3

back at the hotel. mulder is in the kitchen. he sees the killer with the knife. it is all going down as clyde described it. now if there really is a pie do NOT BE DISTRACTED. OH there is a pie. and he knows he has to turn around, so he turns THE OTHER WAY. noooo!!!!!

they get in a struggle!!! mulder’s bleeding, and scully gets off the elevator just in time. she shoots the murderer. no hesitation on taking a life, she will kill a motherfucker for mulder. i love that about her. 

and scully only got there because she took the wrong elevator!!! more pondering on the meaning of fate!!!!!

i love when one of these bitches is on the floor in pain and the other comes over and comforts them. i think i need that in my life just once. it would heal me.

but the question is: where is bruckman?

they go to find him and they only find a dog tied to the door?? and a letter to scully. it’s the dog from before, the neighbor's pet. the letter from clyde says to take care of his neighbor's remains. and he asks if she wants a dog, and that you can’t blame him for the dog’s actions. so they go into the room.

BUT IT IS BRUCKMAN THAT IS DEAD IN THERE. it looks he took pills and suffocated himself. scully looks so so so so so sad.

AND OMG!!! SHE IS HOLDING HIS HAND WHILE HE IS IN BED AND CRYING. JUST LIKE HE SAID WOULD HAPPEN. WAIT THIS IS SO SAD. 

so that must be why he say a head in a bag at the start of the episode, it was his own death... and the killer was right, he did get to clyde before he was caught, he just didn't attack him. huh. funny how prophecies play out.

cutscene to her on the couch WITH THE DOG IN HER LAP. and an ad from the earlier eastern european psychic is on the tv. she throws the phone at him.

A DOG!!! a dog. okay, a lot to think about, but first and foremost we have scully with a dog <3 and it sits in her lap while she watches TV. and it MAY have tasted human flesh, which i feel is a hard thing to get past, but clearly she has done it. she has done the emotional labor of knowing that fuzzball knows what human meat feels like. and she has faith that this dog will not do the same to her. that is an awful lot of trust for a new dog. but we do know she loves animals. so perhaps she trusts the puppy.

i always pictured her with a big ol mutt from the pound. but a little dog can be just as good of a friend. and it WAS a rescue. that is important!

okay. back to the episode at hand, dog aside. even though it is a BIG deal to me and i'm honestly being so brave by not going on a monologue about what scully having a dog means to me. this episode was definitely comedic, and like the earlier comedic episode, i liked it a lot! but the ending made me so sad :( it was a pretty abrupt tone shift. 

still. the episode was SO good. i kept pausing every few seconds to write things down because they made me laugh or otherwise intrigued me (thinking of scully playing cards and explaining macbeth. or chantilly lace line. or "i can't take you anywhere". i will try not to think of mulder's potential death by choking himself for my own sanity)

and i liked clyde a lot. we get a lot of one time characters who we will never see again and so it’s good when those characters make an impact in the short amount of time we share with them. 

and i’m always gonna take a light-hearted episode, as light-hearted as a show where serial killing is a daily occurrence can be. it does go to show though that there wasn’t always a consistent tone throughout the story. and i do find that interesting. i am part of a generation where we typically get 6 hour long episodes of a tv show per season, and they’re so condensed there is very little time for exploration with genre or tone. in general, i have loathed this about modern television; the death of the filler episode has been lamented by people far more eloquent than myself.

the only thing i dislike about this format- doing a silly episode- is that if the next episode ends up being really dark it’s like, woah man, the whimsy, where did it go? last season we got humbug, which was SO fresh and funny, and then within the first 3 minutes of the next episode, a baby was killed by a train. so i lowkey got whiplash. but then again, i watched those episodes back to back, so maybe having a week between them seeing them air as they hit TV would have softened the blow. feel free to chime in with your theories on the nature of genre and how pacing of episode viewing effects that experience.

overall, a very good episode. i rank it up with humbug as one of my favorites, which is again funny, because i love the extreme angst and the silly. i paused to take so many notes because i liked so many things that i think i should someday rewatch it again and get a smoother experience haha

[satanfemme]

[ID in alt]

ok meee :-) this is my slasher sona. he's a ~late 70s / early 80s low-budget slasher with slightly gothic vibes, and maybe leaning a little bit giallo in genre?

his name is Mutt and his "gimmick" is that he's a gay dog man (and wears a lot of leather. obviously)

hypothetical horror movie plot for him under the cut (warning for genre typical violence and tropes and such) (also some weird kink stuff cause this is my horror movie fantasy and I get to decide the level of strange eroticism)

I'm gonna summarize the story in chronological order but if it were a real movie there'd be more mystery than this ftr lol.

mutt's backstory is that he was in an intense relationship with a guy who kept him as a human pet. he tortured mutt, kept him in a shock collar, and required him to wear a muzzle most of the time. he also didn't let mutt leave the house ever (which was isolated in the woods). years of this treatment warped mutt's mind until he was both deeply devoted to his lover in a self-destructive loyal dog way, and also "insane" in the stereotypical slasher way.

one day while in a nearby town running errands, mutt's lover is killed in a homophobic hate crime. mutt knows something is wrong when his lover doesn't come home that night, so he leaves the house to investigate, and (from the shadows a distance away) he sees the police cleaning up the crime scene and his lover's body. mutt returns to his house, fashions a leather slasher mask out of his muzzle and his lover's clothes, and decides to get revenge on the people of the town.

he begins to kill a new gay guy every night in very homoerotic ways (since this is really the only way mutt knows how to exist). the homophobic cops don't take any of this seriously ofc, so it's up to a few members of the lgbt community to solve the series of murders and put of a stop to it, before they get killed themselves.

they actually wrongfully assume at first that mutt's lover was also part of the same pattern of gay murders, but eventually the homophobe who murdered mutt's lover is identified and (reluctantly) arrested by the police. so, the next time mutt kills someone, it becomes clear that there were two (2) killers on the loose, and the community member protags use that info to finally piece together the various clues they'd gathered, leading them to the correct conclusion that the first murder (of mutt's lover) was a single incident, and the serial murders after the fact are being done by someone motivated by a broken heart (ie. by this point the backstory would be fully revealed).

while all this investigating and shit was going on, mutt learned that the guy who killed his lover was arrested, and plans to go kill him inside his jail cell that night. the protags attempt to stop mutt before he gets there (to end the circle of violence and restore "peace" and all that), but in the process he kills them all one by one until just the token Final Girl is left. he then breaks inside the jail and successfully kills the homophobe, getting closure. the final girl thinks she has him, as he's "cornered" inside the small jail. but when she follows him inside, he's vanished and all that's left is the homophobe's body.

the movie ends all mysteriously like "he's still out there... and he might come back" but he's my character so I can tell u what he does after the movie. and he does NOT come back.

he still has a broken heart, but he's had his revenge and decides to leave town. he travels on his own, living like a stray dog for a long time (he doesn't take off his mask unless he really has to, so it's hard for him to interact with society. that said, when he does take off his mask to go into a town or city for something, he's completely safe from being recognized because no one ever saw his face in the town he killed people in. he's just a bit off-putting to people)

after traveling for a while, he happens upon the haddonfield illinois area, some time after the michael myers' murders took place (original halloween canon, but don't ask me for an exact timeline, I don't know or care)

michael would also be hiding out in the woods (cause it's not halloween yet. it's his off-season :-) ) and the two would run into each other, instantly clicking. two neurodivergent guys... in freaky masks... in the woods... hiding from society because they're wanted for countless murders. a real meet cute <3. they would grow closer over time.... and although michael would originally like mutt for how "empty inside" and inhuman he is (the same canonical motivation as to why he likes corpses), as time goes on and michael really gets to know mutt, their bond would become stronger and more genuine, and michael would love mutt for the person he is too :'-). and then they'd take off their masks and embrace and kiss each other sloppy style and- [comically long bleep sound effect].

and then I think the next halloween, mutt would join michael in the senseless killing :-) and they would live happily ever after and also mutt would take michael to the dang club! the end. that's my story thx for reading.

[roobylavender]

Hi! i once saw a post (that I cannot find atm) comparing how Bruce and Ollie reacted to Jason/Mia killing a man, or in Jason‘s case possibly killing a man and the differences in their reactions. I have yet to read arrowfam material so I was hoping you’d talk more about it! :)

oh i found it! (i’m the jason/mia & bruce/ollie anon) https://www.tumblr.com/redhoodinternaldialectical/735180956729835520/you-are-entirely-correct-i-cut-a-whole-ass truthfully i didn’t really the whole thread only the jason/mia part but i’m v curious on ur thoughts on this :)

luckily for you i read the whole thread (which i do think is relevant to the question) and this is a great reminder of why taking editorial context into account when analyzing comics is so important! the unfortunate problem with the visibility attributed to a death in the family is that it obscures not only that starlin was only the fourth writer responsible (after barr, collins, and duffy) for characterizing post-crisis jason and his relationship with bruce, but also that starlin specifically wrote his batman run with a disdain for the robin character in mind. when you read dc #573–74, 79–82 / batman #408–13 versus batman #416–28 there's a really stark distinction in tone and atmosphere. although bruce has always tended towards discipline and principle he's also someone primarily driven by empathy. that shows in the barr / collins / duffy stretch because they're fans of the batman-robin dynamic to begin with. so you get scenes like this in batman #411

or dc #581

where bruce certainly expressed disappointment and reprimand initially but eventually mellowed out because he sympathized with and values jason's grief over losing his father. dc #581 strikes me in particular because bruce didn't have to offer harvey to jason after what the latter said earlier about leaving him for dead. but he knew the closure was important and decided to offer harvey to him anyway. there was always an emphasis on reciprocated dialogue taking place between bruce and jason in these issues whereas i think many people would agree the starlin run was comparatively characterized by bruce talking at jason or for jason but not necessarily with him. here's dc #425 for example

although starlin stopped short of painting jason to be outright evil he generally didn't offer him much sympathy as a character either. there was this constant undercurrent throughout the run of jason being talked down to and his personal emotions and experiences being diminished in the face of the mask when that is precisely what the barr / collins / duffy run didn't do. these writers were invested in and enamored with jason's personal life and they wanted to see him grow not only as robin but as his own person contending with complex trauma and grief. and way we ended up at a death in the family was comparatively ironic because starlin specifically refused to address jason's trauma until it was absolutely necessary and convenient to shaping an ultimate exit for the character. i think having that context in mind is critically important to analyzing any interaction between jason and bruce with respect to the former's purported leniency towards killing. would the bruce of the barr / collins / duffy run have reacted in the same way as he did above? would he have walked away from jason and refused to even broach the topic of why he may have killed garzonas? would he have displayed so little faith and trust? would he have abruptly cut jason off from the job without pretense or conversation? to me it's highly debatable. i would even go so far as to confidently say no

as for the ollie comparison, that points to another loosely related issue. character comparisons should not only be contextualized by editorial intent but also time period of publication. bruce in the late 80s immediately prior to one of the most climactic events in his publication was at a very different place with respect to editorial versus ollie in the 00s nearly a decade after one of the most climactic events in his publication. he basically operated off of a somewhat clean slate following his resurrection whereas bruce operated from the vantage point of accumulating some of the worst editorial baggage that would follow him for the rest of his tenure as a character. it's not to say that i think ollie would react negatively were we using his 80s characterization for comparison instead. in fact i still think he would be way more understanding of it than bruce ever could be given his own inclination to kill people where he believes it's necessary (see the longbow hunters and a significant portion of ga vol. 2). but i do think there's an irony in attempting to juxtapose these issues of ga vol. 2 against jason-era bruce without taking the entirety of the latter era, its writers, and its editorial context into account. if anything, ollie's contemplation in ga vol. 2 #40 is precisely what would go through bruce's mind were the scenario written by barr / collins / duffy instead. the fact that we're stuck with the legacy of the bruce written by starlin is unfortunate and to me something that should factor far more heavily into any purportedly good faith analysis of the bruce-jason (or even bruce-dick) relationship at the time

[turtleations]

Interview with SUGIZO (Luna Sea / G) (summarized)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: Still not good at Japanese, but I like to delude myself that I am gettling slightly better. Feel free to correct me if I am wrong about something anyway.

I have changed the format of these "summaries". This is as close to an actual translation as I can currently make it, and in many places it is an actual translation, just moved from first to third person. You can often tell where from the awkward English.

I also included the prompts of the interviewer to make it flow more naturally, though I often paraphrased them.

Sugizo's thoughts on hide as a guitarist after X JAPAN’s reunion live

There isn’t a lot of talk about hide as a guitarist, with there being more attention on him being an expressive support or a unique performer. Sugizo thinks he was actually a quite technical player. X’s songs are rather difficult – especially the ones made by Yoshiki deviate from so-called normal rock, and it’s not easy to find players suitable for that. Remove even one nuance from it and the whole construct becomes unstable. This goes especially for the precise guitar harmonies and arrangements, as Yoshiki’s approach to writing music is close to classical compositions. Sugizo once again realized that with the reunion. In classical composition, every last note is planned and to tamper with even one of them is a sacrilege against the composer. Every note is intentional, a part of the composer’s soul, and the player had to protect that intention before anything else, like expressing their own individuality. Sugizo now came to understand how close X was to that way of composing. His own intention was to play hide’s parts without tampering with them. How could he put his own nuances in there, when by staying faithful to the original, he believed he could show his respect for hide and also for X JAPAN? He wrestled with those feelings and couldn’t relax while playing, finally understanding that during X JAPAN’s lives, and especially Yoshiki’s songs, you couldn’t move much because you had to concentrate so hard. It wasn’t just about looking cool – you don’t move because you can’t move.

Is that so?

Of course you also have free parts, and parts where you interact with the audience, but most of the time it’s so tight and you have to focus so hard you can’t move.

Nobody moved during “Art of Live”.

The same goes for “Blue Blood” and “Silent Jealousy”. Sugizo played with them himself now, but X JAPAN is at the top of the Japanese heavy metal bands that came up in the 80s. They set the precedence for how far a performance could go, how high you could sing, how offensive you could be, how difficult you could make it, how flashy you could look. X has pushed forward all the elements of the metal scene and was the first band acknowledged by the general public. Therefore, the peak of the metal scene was the start of the new visual scene as seeds sown by X. That said, Luna Sea’s methods and musical structures are completely different from X. He thinks that X’s way of expressing themselves was the final form of all the metal bands. Maybe there isn’t as of yet any other band in Japan going that far, that high, that flashy. One needs a clear stance to realize a clear standard. If you don’t diligently research them, you can’t play X’s songs. On the contrary, you have to bring this degree of understanding. And now Sugizo has become an X-music-critic (laughs).

With Sugizo chasing after X, being used to a different system, how has he decided to support them?

A long time ago, Yoshiki brought it up with Sugizo. But back then he said, “Impossible. No one can fill the hole left by hide-san.” There is no person whose existence is that big. At first, Sugizo was quite negative towards the idea, because the fans would kill him. He knew he would be drowned in criticism, and that was a difficult thing to take on. And he didn’t quite know how he felt about it himself. But when the reunion became a more concrete concept, Yoshiki asked him again and he started thinking about it objectively. He had been active at the same time as hide, but could he do this for three hours on stage? Of course, they could have done without someone on stage, but there are limits to what you can express without a live human player, and out of everyone in the current Japanese scene, Sugizo felt he was the only one who had the necessary meaningful and existential connection to hide to take over this part. No other reason. He did it out of respect, and because it wouldn’t happen if he didn’t help out. Even if he feared criticism, he needed to do it for his irreplaceable friend and for his respected seniors. He meant to support them and express hide’s existence through his own play as closely as possible. He wasn’t really at the forefront, rather, he became a medium. If he could channel hide’s dying wish into sound through himself, he would consider it a success.

About I.V.

I.V. had a completely different feeling. Here, Sugizo could do his own thing – in fact, Yoshiki, the creator, told him to. Not just that, but the intention of hide was transmitted through Sugizo’s fingertips. So even with criticism and attacks, in the end he was grateful and there were a lot of positive aspects to it.

On the impression he had on being on a really big stage with X

Such a giant band in every sense: The scope, the size of the stage, the amount of time by which the performance was delayed (laughs). The scale was too big; this isn’t a normal rock band anymore. The size of their existence and the showmanship with which they entertain everyone. Luna Sea is a normal band in comparison, just a small fish. Sugizo felt lucky that he got to experience that – that he got to exist in the whirlpool of those two bands is a precious experience. And one more thing: The affection of the staff was amazing, and he understood well hide’s part in it. He understood well that without hide, there can be no X JAPAN. And thus, this X without hide was stuggling. Not just from the outside, but from the inside as well. Sugizo came to realize just how important hide’s role within the band had been. They started out started wobbly, but ascended on the third day – this band is truly divine. It felt like he was diligently playing guitar with hide, and competing with him musically, for the first time ever. Although they have been close like brothers and often went drinking together, Sugizo had never experienced hide on guitar like this before. Nearly twenty years after meeting him, this was the first time he really felt like they were together. It was an amazing experience. Sugizo’s close friends Wes (Borland, ex-Limp Biskit) and Richard (Fortis, Guns & Roses) were also stuck by admiration for X JAPAN’s greatness and hide’s awesomeness. In any case, for Sugizo it was a very valuable experience.

The impression hide left on Sugizo

Thinking about it now, he was a person like Mozart. Someone who was like a force of nature until the first half of his thirties, went all out, caught everyone around him in his inescapable nexus, and then died. The people who survive, like them, grow tattered as they reach old age, while experiencing the sorrows and the joys of aging people.

About their first meeting

Sugizo doesn’t remember it well because it was a messy time. But drinking places come to mind. At that time, Luna Sea had only just formed, and X was already at the top, but they drank at the same Issakayas. At first, that was scary, but while drinking with hide, Sugizo soon found out that they were very kindred spirits and they unexpectedly became friends. So, he can’t remember where and how they met for the first time. But it was certainly in Meguro, close to Rokumeikan, at a normal Izakaya like Tsubuhachi or Shoya.

His impression of hide back then

Like someone out of a magazine. It felt like, “Oh, there’s a person from a magazine right in front of my eyes.”

Wearing a hat and sunglasses?

This was hide in a private setting. At that time, when going out in front of people in private, he wore a big black hat and cats eye sunglasses. He must have worn something like that, which is just what Sugizo imagined people from magazines would look like. While they drank, their talk suddenly turned to music: “I like JAPAN” [British punk and pop band active from 1974-82 , and in 1991], and they found a connection. “Fast, that’s good!” – “Fast music is the best!” – “But, I hate the later period.” – “No way! I love the later period just as much.” – “Looks like we have different tastes,” and such (laughs). “Who’s your favourite guitarist?” – “I like Frank Zappa the best.” – “Zappa, huh? I don’t like him at all.” He remembers well how they went back and forth like this.

This was before Luna Sea signed up with Extasy?

Before. But they were active at Rokumeikan, so inevitably, someone knew someone who had a connection. At that time, there weren’t many other bands with their kind of sound, so they were pretty isolated. Hide must have thought that they were “weird and interesting”. Hide and Sugizo’s aesthetics matched, they took a similar stance on expressing themselves, and so they became good friends. Around them, there were a lot of artists in the style of previous generation metal or hardcore bands like VIRUS or AION, but Luna Sea was different from those and something new. Sugizo thinks they were in a similar vein as D’erlanger or ZI:Kill, but you could also see it differently.

Their motivation for joining Extasy

On top of being friends with hide, Yoshiki came to see their live at Rokumeikan. They came and went at Extasy drinking parties, and in the autumn of 1990 it was decided that Extasy would bring out their album.

Did hide recommend them?

Probably. Sugizo thinks that hide said to Yoshiki, “There’s an interesting band,” even though he never directly told them that he was the one making that introduction.

The impression was that hide was advertising Luna Sea to a lot of people.

In that regard, hide didn’t change until the end. He was always looking for new sounds and new images. No matter what their career level was compared to his, hide always had his antennas out for new, exciting, interesting artists. And then he would continue to socialize with them. A very hide-like thing.

That’s how LEMONed came to be.

Right. Luna Sea was probably the first band where hide said, “That’s interesting, let’s do it!”, and mobilized for them. But that time was a muddy mess.

Meaning?

The drinking parties were messy. At the establishments, artists, fans, people from the media were all jumbled together. It was great fun, but Sugizo has quite enough of it (laughs).

Lack of stamina?

Since Sugizo had been in his early twenties, that had not been a problem. He drank to the point of collapse, had violent fights with anyone and anything, and work up the next day with wounds all over his body.

His memories of hide from that time

He has countless of those, since they hung out together so much. Over the course of maybe two years, they were drinking together every two to three days. They drank until morning, went to the onsen, did radio gymnastics with everyone else, were in a fight in Asagaya. When they were drinking in Asagaya together with Ken and Kyo from Zi:Kill, they got into a big fight with some guys who looked like college students. At some point in the middle of the fight, Sugizo became aware that hide was nowhere to be seen. A few minutes later, hide came back wielding a dustpan and yelling, “You assholes!” He was the kind of person who would go and calmly search for an effective weapon while they were all hitting each other with fists. In the end, they all got banned (laughs).

But that effective weapon was a dustpan (laughs).

Ken was hitting his opponent with the shoes he took off, but suddenly realized that those were the slippers provided by the place they were drinking at and didn’t do any damage whatsoever (laughs). He wanted to hit his opponent with his boots or whatever, with all his strength, but he didn’t hurt him at all. It was terrible when everyone had to laugh in the middle of the fight. They rarely suffered serious injuries, in any case.

Small injuries?

Scratches and stuff. Sugizo doesn’t really remember, but when he got really mad, he got stopped by his friend George from Ladiesroom in the beginning (laughs).

That happened?

Hide also stopped him. When Sugizo went off and had a hard time, hide would come and have a drink with him. He was always looking out for him. Even though they raged a lot, there was never an intention to really hurt the opponent. It was violent, but it was fun.

Everyone says that.

Even after violent fights, everyone joked about it the next day. Also, hide loved messing with people. When they went to an onsen in Hakone, hide hid all of their clothes in a crack (laughs). Since it was dawn and there was no one around, it wasn’t a problem and it was never worse than silly mischief. Sugizo looked around, but there was nothing to wear except the noren [cloth sign at the entrance], so he spontaneously made the executive decision that that would serve as his clothes. He likes onsens, but to exchange the yutaka [light kimono, usually provided by the onsen] with a noren… (laughs). Further, hide ate a lot in the morning. Since they fooled around all night, the others didn’t want to eat anything, but hide enthusiastically gulped down everything on his own. They would ask him how he could eat like that, but he would explain that he’d get in trouble if he didn’t eat in the morning and devour like 3 bowls of rice. Then they’d got to an amusement part and slide down a grassy slope in a cardboard box, playing like children.

Adults don’t usually play like that.

Hide had a driver’s license but never drove. When asked why, he explained that he had once been in a collision accident. He couldn’t forget the feeling of the car hitting a person and so, he didn’t want to drive. Sugizo understood, but he thinks that hide’s power of imagination was too strong. When talking about going to the shooting range in America, hide asked, “Sugizo, did you ever shoot a gun?”

“Not yet, but I would like to try it.”

“You’s better not.” At the shooting range, hide would suddenly think, “What if I turned now and shot the person next to me and their blood splattered everywhere,” and just be horrified. Once he started thinking like that, one thought would lead to another and he would become terrified. So he didn’t shoot, and he didn’t drive. Sugizo understood that, because he, too, had an overactive imagination since he was a child. He doesn’t eat a lot of meat anyway, but when he thinks about the time when those creatures were alive, he feels bad. When he thinks about how they are roasting the dead body of an animal, he has to imagine their dying wails of agony. Both he and hide are people with an extreme power of imagination.

They can make their music come alive through that.

It’s great when it comes to music and expressing yourself, but when it comes to your normal life, it’s very inconvenient. When it comes to creating, one thing Sugizo often remembered later was one time he and hide went drinking before hide had a contract for his solo activities. He talked about wanting to do solo work but having doubts about it. Sugizo told him he should definitely do it, because solo-artist-hide would be interesting. A few weeks later, hide said, “I mostly decided on a solo contract, but Sugizo, I was surprised.” – “Why?” – “Can’t tell you yet.” And then he didn’t. Turns out, he ended up with the same record label as Luna Sea. Sugizo remembers well how often they talked when hide first started his solo activities.

Did they talk about what they wanted to do?

Sugizo doesn’t remember the contents of those conversations well, but hide talked about wanting to do pop. Since his starting point was KISS, he probably originally liked rock with big shows. That was 15 years ago. It makes Sugizo feel nostalgic.

What did hide say about Luna Sea?

Sugizo doesn’t really remember him talking about musical things, only drinking and having fun. But he liked their early pop songs like “Déjà Vu” and “Wish” and told them they should do more like that. “Believe” was their first single. When hide saw the PV, he said, “You should have related a pop single like this sooner.” They had the same hair and make- up artist, Okayama Tetsuya, and they often went to his place to drink.

Hide often came to Luna Sea’s lives.

Hide said that Luna Sea’s sadness was unbearable. “It came with a bang,” and “Deeply moving like Dinosaur Jr.”. Sugizo doesn’t understand that at all (laughs). Sugizo likes Dinosaur too, and got a melancholic feeling from them, but he thinks this was an impression specific to hide. “That feeling tightening your chest is nice, but there are no such elements for me.” Maybe he saw such tones in bands like Luna Sea or Zi:Kill.

He also often went to see Zi:Kill.

Hide liked Tusk. He also had a close relationship with Ken, but if pressed, Sugizo would say that Ken was being messed with (laughs).

He was often made fun of. (laughs)

But maybe hide and Sugizo were opposites when it came to their personality. Hide was blood type AB, and there are aspects of AB-types that Sugizo can’t understand. There are things that are normal for AB-types, but mysterious and incomprehensible for O-Types like Sugizo. Hide was no exception. “What is that guy saying so quickly?” Sugizo often thought. It was not a problem, because hide was in a position of seniority to Sugizo, but if they had been of equal standing, they would probably have fought if spending a lot of time together. Actually, their way of thinking and their interests were so different in hide’s last years that, while it never got to the point of fighting, they had a lot of disputes.

Conversely, that was the extent of the relationship they could have.

Sugizo wonders about that. At that time, X JAPAN set up base in L.A. and only had activities about once a year, so hide was rarely in Japan anymore. When he was home, they occasionally met for drinks, or they ran into each other at the “Music Station Special” and went out drinking afterwards, but that was the extent of it. Sugizo worked from London at the time but was never in L.A., so their points of activity were just different.

Sugizo also did his solo recording in London.

Nowadays, Sugizo often goes to L.A. and hangs out with Yoshiki, but the last one or two years before hide died, there was some distance. Nevertheless, whenever they were both in Japan, they met without fail. In the 90s, Sugizo was in L.A. not even once.

Is that so?

The first time he went to L.A. was in 2000. Since then, he’s been there almost 30 times. At first, it didn’t fit the image of hide’s L.A. The feeling was a little darker. But it matched, thinking about hide’s roots.

In the beginning, hide said he didn’t like L.A. very much.

KISS is an American band, though. And hide made Zilch in L.A. Zilch was great. But now [Paul] Raven has also passed away… Sugizo was close to the members of Zilch, somehow, they were all connected.

Did he hear stories about Zilch?

Yes, he did. “I’m not going to produce, I want to focus on performing,” hide said. “It’s going to be mainly in English, so I’ll focus on singing and playing the guitar. We’ve got a good producer.” The producer in question was Ray [McVeigh]. Sugizo thinks hide and Ray met because Ray was producing Oblivion Dust. Sugizo heard about it about one year before Zilch really started.

In his solo works, hide did everything on his own.

He probably wanted to relax and take a different approach to music. Sugizo remembers, there is a song called “Drink or Die”, that hide came up with when they were drinking together. “I want to make a song about ‘drinking or dying’.”

“About drinking until you die…?”

“Yeah, that’s it, that’s the song I’m going to make.” (laughs)

He swiftly wrote down the lyric on some paper right there in that place.

He did. The group they always hung out and drank with was called the “Legion of Hell”, and he said he wanted to make a theme song for them. “Legion of Hell” was of course a KISS reference. (or was it?) When he drank, that guy often went wild.

Him, too?

When the others went into s drunken frenzy, hide would, too (laughs).

Sugizo didn’t?

Sugizo doesn’t frenzy (laughs). Sugizo doesn’t change when drunk, but hide could change completely, as if a switch was flipped. It would go into a fun direction, or he could play too hard and get injured. He’d mess up and break his bones. One time, he ran off with joy and didn’t notice a wall in front of him until he ran into it face first. After that, he was down for a day (laughs).

Referring to their shared photo session?

They were photographed together in connection with a magazine interview, but hide managed to run into a white wall so hard his make-up left the imprint of half his face on it (laughs) He was in high spirits, got injured, and went down. He was an entertaining guy. He could change completely from one moment to the next, get silly or start fighting. Then, suddenly, he’d give a lecture.

Lecture, in what sense?

He was a guy who would suddenly lecture you if he was drinking. Sugizo got those lectures, their other buddies got them, too. For example, both Sugizo and Yoshiki liked the word “art” and probably used it a lot. Hide, on the other hand, hated that word and would tell him, “Sugizo, don’t call every single thing you make art.” And, “What I do is also often called art, but that’s not what it is. It’s simply me doing things I enjoy. Those on their high horse speaking of “art” can go fuck themselves! Listen, Sugizo! Don’t say shit like that.” (sour smile)

He certainly wanted to emphasize that.

Hide had a lot of particular views, and if you went against those, it rubbed him the wrong way, Sugizo thinks. Anyway, the talk is all over the place. They spend so much time together, but hide has been gone for ten years, and the chronological order is all messed up. In those ten years, Sugizo changed a lot. In any case, in that time, he wanted to talk, to drink, to mingle with a lot of people. In that, he and hide matched perfectly. Nowadays, Sugizo wouldn’t be able to spend his time like that anymore. That said, he also doesn’t spend a lot of time peacefully at home.

He often got summoned.

Very often (laughs). He’d suddenly get told, “Come over now.” He did it, too, which is strange. They should have been very busy back then. How did they have time for that?

No cell phones back then

None whatsoever. How did hide manage to contact him? Sugizo didn’t have a cell phone until 1995. The time when they were constantly hanging out was around 1992, 1993, so there shouldn’t have been any cell phones available in the beginning. If Sugizo was in the studio for something, hide would find out about that, too, and contact him there. His talent for research was astonishing (laughs). Since he got along well with everyone in the office, he always got info on who was where and did what. Sugizo still can’t believe he was that informed in a time when cell phones weren’t a thing yet. Speaking on which, after drinking in Roppongi one time, they all went to eat ramen. While eating, hide asked if those ramen were tasty or not. “I honestly can’t tell the taste.” (laughs) He asked them, “Because I don’t know if they are good or not, tell me.” They then told him, “They’re good,” and he said “Yay!” and ate happily. It was one of those times where Sugizo thought he was weird. (laughs)

Hide’s lacking sense of taste is a topic within his circle of friends.

Between Yoshiki and hide, they also fought, each accusing the other of being taste-blind. It was pretty ridiculous. Also, when Luna Sea were still indies, when they were visiting hide’s place to drink, it happened that when morning came, hide would suddenly prepare a meal for them. He could cook, that guy. Suddenly, at six AM or so, he would go and make fried kimchi or something. He was a strange guy, but he was also a bundle of affection. Sugizo thinks he just loved taking care of people. “Come to my place and I’ll feed you!” He gave them lectures, chased them everywhere (laughs). Sugizo always responded to that affection, because it made him really happy. Above that, he always rushed to respond, because he wanted to be seen as someone who always came quickly, no matter what was going on (laughs).

Even if the other members couldn’t come, Sugizo always did.

Thinking about it now, Sugizo really went for it. And there was the “salt incident” that was really fun. Whenever Sugizo used the phrase “Did that have the right amount of salt?” [Meaning something like, “Did that match your expectations?] on some grandpa or someone in some town, and hide laughed his ass off. “Young people don’t talk like that these days. Can you also ask the audience at Luna Sea’s live if you gave them the right amount of salty flavour?” So Sugizo said, “If the opportunity come up.” (laughs) Thus promised, several days later, Sugizo addressed the audience at an outdoor concert in Hibiya with, “Did that have the right amount of salt, you fuckers?” and hide lost it again (laughs).

Before that performance, hide excitedly wondered if Sugizo would really do it.

The strange thing is, hide was bad at dirty talk. One day, he askes Sugizo, and seemed to struggle with it, “The boy’s bit, ca… can you say that?” Sugizo thought he asked weird questions. And when he in return asked, “Do you mean ‘penis*’?”, hide was excited. “Amazing! You can say it! So manly! I admire you!” It was a great commotion. “None of the X-members can say it.” So Sugizo said, “Ours is a band that makes a lot of dirty jokes. So, it’s okay for you to give it a try.” And hide tried, “Pe… pe… No! I can’t say it!” and hung his head (laughs). Sugizo thought he was weird, but Yoshiki can’t say it even now (laughs). But, after starting his solo activities, hide managed to yell the word “Penis!” on stage. Sugizo thinks it was their influence, pulling him down to their level (laughs). In the beginning, he was above such things.

[*) Ironically, the word is censored throughout the text.]

His mental state changed (laughs).

For the sake of showmanship, he knew no shame. After the performance, they told him, “hide-san, you changed. Now you can say the word “penis” on stage with all your might!” and hide was super happy because he, too, had become a grown-up (laughs).

He grew up, right. (laughs)

Sugizo thinks that hide was such a great person thanks to his amazing family. Both his father and his mother were very warm people and thus able to raise a person like that. Sugizo was quite jealous of the good relationship hide had with his parents. It’s well known that Luna Sea is a band where everyone came from a broken home environment, so the warmth of a household, the affection of father and mother is something they barely experienced. That’s why hide was such an incredibly warm guy himself. The Luna Sea guys were all rebellious, messed up people. Even though they are now in their late thirties and have mostly left their childhood traumas behind, in their twenties it was still very present. The still dragged their childhood environment and traumas with them, had trouble with their personal relationships, didn’t express themselves well – there were all sorts of issues. To Sugizo at that time, hide’s family was something he envied him for. Even now hide’s parents are wonderful to him. Whenever he meets them, they invite him to their home. “Pata-chan comes often, so, come with him.” They are so full of affection, it’s amazing.

Has he ever done a session together with hide?

Yes, at the power station, when Sugizo was still indies. Hide sang, Sugizo played the guitar, Shinya was on drums, and on bass was Sexy Rose Harry. They played songs by Damned and Ziggy Stardust. Nostalgic. That was in 1991, a long time before hide started his solo activities, but Sugizo wonders if he wasn’t developing a vision for that back then. The way he sang changed a lot. He got serious about it. If he had to sing, he abstained from alcohol, went to bed early to stay healthy. He said to Ryuichi, “Singers are really respectable. I’m not there yet.” And then he worked hard to get there.

Did he see Sugizo’s solo activities?

He probably did, but since that started just before he died, they didn’t discuss it much. Luna Sea started their solo activities when X was in the process of breaking up, so hide was dealing with his own problems. He talked a lot to J, who was based in L.A., but didn’t have a lot of opportunities to talk to Sugizo or the others. But Sugizo hung out with the members of Spread Beaver, since he’s friends with all of them. In the year before hide died, they only met a few times and didn’t get to talk about their solo music much. If they had, Sugizo imagines it something like this: hide would have asked him if he was still playing with “art”, Sugizo would have insisted on going with that, and then hide would have told him not to, and they would have gotten into an argument (laughs).

Is there anything he would like to say to hide?

The things hide did have now blossomed to their full meaning. Hide and the things he wanted to express are now loved throughout the world. Sugizo wants to say, “Congratulations!” The distance between the countries is disappearing and hide’s music is now going out into the world. Some people had problems because CDs are not selling anymore, but there are now other ways for music to be distributed. Sugizo often wonders what hide would be doing if he were still alive in this time. He would probably be at the forefront of some brand new thing. When he thinks about such things, Sugizo wants to say, “It was too early, hide-san!” If you live a long life, various people are going to die before you. Those who die young are eternally beautiful, those left behind are, struggling and shining, growing older day by day. Sugizo, for his part, plans to keep doing music with all his strength until he goes to the place where hide is. He wants to keep doing music to the point where he gets as far as hide has gone.

[welcome-to-the-end-of-eras]

Live Reading: The Mars House by Natasha Pulley

Some initial (spoiler-free) observations for now:

1.) desperately missing the style of publication from twofs and tbs, book covers that come off are my biggest opp

2.) Edward Cullen lookin ass cover I kinda love it

3.) absolutely love the fact that The Bedlam Stacks is officially part of the Watchmaker series even though Mori is in like 3 scenes, he’s so powerful

Off the bat, it's really interesting to see the way January interacts with what is our present like it's something ancient. The way he describes the "ruins" of London and various places around that people today may even live in, as if it's centuries old. Idk what year this takes place in but I feel like it's going to be like 2030 or some shit lmao

I already read the leaked chapter so I'm just going to skip it, all in all though I like January so far. He's a little less...I don't want to say compelling, but he doesn't have as much of a distinctive personality off the bat as Valery or even Flint, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Plus he's like. Actively in crisis, so I'm going to give him a pass

He does have the gen Z tendency for nihilism tho, moreso than the other mc's, and I really like it

Oh wait no he's not even gen Z he's like. Gen Theta??? This is farther into the future than I thought, which is good bc it was a lil depressing to think it was this close to the present and everything was flooded (I mean we're still boned but I was expecting the time period to be like. A very likely 2027 or something.)

I honestly really like the way January isn't content with the small things in his life that make him miserable like the other mc's. He's a Complainer. He's literally me-

"It was fine as icing sugar." ??? Girl are we getting some freaky future ghost shit again??? Please???

I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T DO THIS I CAN'T-

MORI AND DAUGHTER??? I'M GOING TO PASS AWAY-

I will be crying about this forever

Six taking over the shop but keeping her dad's name attatched...BEING CANON??? We STAY winning

"There are moments when you come so close to another future you can taste the air in the courtroom." GIRL SHUT THE FUCK UP RESPECTFULLY I'M ABOUT TO START SCREAMING-

Wait these exoskeleton things sound cool as fuck, I wonder how hard it would be to make one for cosplay purposes??? Probably pretty tricky (and knowing myself I would never finish it) but it still seems really fun to make

Damn he's really scared of not wearing that thing, my poor baby :((( ugh I really do like him a lot so far

Ohhh wait I thought wearing the suit was to protect him, not to protect others??? I misread

But he's still really that scared of hurting anyone else :((( he's my baby I've decided

I feel like I'm not going to like Gale much off the bat bc they're going to be rude to him, but I'm sure I'll grow to like them more. I mean I didn't much care for Shenkov off the bat but I adore him now so

Not to get Prentious-English-Major-y, but it seems like a running theme in this book is getting over the shame of taking up space in the world. January is constantly being reminded that he needs to stay in his place and not cause trouble for others, and it's so engrained into him that he can't help but panic over a simple mistake that could've been corrected with a gentle warning. But it also wasn't a gentle warning; the guy in the elevator fucking yelled at him!!! Immediately!!! I get the notion that it was a matter of safety for him, but January was far away from and couldn't have possibly hurt him, and he still yelled. Coming from the lense of a queer man, it's very reflective of the homophobic idea that queer people can't even be trusted in public because they're "sexual deviants" and the like, or even going back to the 80s when people thought that AIDS was transmitted through just skin-to-skin contact. Idk. Food for thought.

Honestly??? The way his thoughts keep circling back to the way everyone was horrified of him on the elevator is the most accurate way I've ever seen someone describe anxiety attacks

What tf is up with the pink elephants??? New tattoo idea just dropped???

Ooo interesting monetary system for the trains. I went into Boston to get my copy and they started doing a similar thing on the green line (the only train system that runs above ground, so they can't really stop people from not paying to get on) and it kind of reminds me of that. It's definitely not that similar, but it's enough that I made the connection

Creepy Government Programs Meant To Completely Cripple Minorities Just So They Can Access Slightly Worse Basic Rights They Should Already Have...totally not realistic...haha...not at all...

Only a year??? January...buddy...you've been here for 600 days...

Oh wait no I just looked it up, a year on Mars is actually about 687 days, nvm, fuck me I guess

The whole conundrum of naturalizing vs just using the cage is vvv interesting, and is also reminiscent of the way disabled people are encouraged by society (and warned by medical professionals) to undergo drastic surgeries to cure their disability

Damn so going on the train cost him a half hour of work??? That's kinda nuts. Although if it's a longer distance train it's not as bad, but it seems like it just went from one part of the city to the other

Oh??? Hello??? He has a crush on his boss??? Honestly she sounds like a milf I don't blame him-

I feel like the release button of his suit being over his heart is going to be important and dramatic and it's going to make me cry

Idk how to word this properly but like. January being motivated to eat more and train for ballet again bc he's just overall happier with Gale may just (happily) destroy me, the same way tlfop describes Thaniel getting a lot stronger over the course of four years bc he's eating more and started boxing and that, but I feel like it'll be different bc him being married to Gale will offer him the privilege to do that kind of thing while others aren't awarded the freedom

The group physical therapy before work is kinda nuts, we should honestly do that at my job too

Honestly the way they're describing these work suits is kind of a serve, especially with the cool skeleton lookin thing around it, that would make such a fun cosplay

Senator Gale in the mix too!!! Vvv excited, even though I know January is going to do some fuckshit on tv with them

I KNOW January is pretty af I know it in my soul

"Great power to be had from ogling." I'm love Val sm-

Love that she included how to pronounce Mx bc it always throws me for a loop. Also...McWang??? Girl-

I really do not know what I expected from the woman who managed to get the word "octopussy" in three of her books

"...so that he wouldn't think about how much he would have loved to see someone shove Audrey bloody Gale off a cooling tower." DAWG-

He really fuckin hates them wow, their public persona must suck

Oh also random thought I forgot to include a bit earlier, but is it like. Genuinely illegal to assume people's gender in this society??? That's kinda based actually. Fox News would have a field day. "ThIs Is CoNfIrMaTiOn Of ThE fUtUrE tHeSe LiBeRaLs ArE lOoKiNg FoR." Ugh I hope someone shows them, that would be fucking hilarious (obviously no one should tho bc I sincerely believe there are some idiotic people who would start sending Natasha death threats over it and I don't want that).

"...and do everyone a favour by turning immediately into goo." Jesus fucking Christ dude-

I hope January beats the shit out of some of these people I really do-

Hehe puffweens

Ooo the Mars citizens fashion seems fun

"Thirteen year olds were, of course, terrifying monsters..." thirteen year olds are extremely lame when you get to know them but I do get the anxiety (I say as someone who worked with them for over 5 years)

He doesn't want to scare anyone :(((

First he's comparing Gale to the devil, and now he's saying they look like a god??? Make up your mind dude

"He followed the news like a bloodhound when it came to Gale." My good bitch you are so definitely into them-

The fact that Val has to bribe January with chocolate to not throw a brick at Gale is so...I'm love them so much

[stargazedwinchester]

Dear Reader | SW&DW

Before we start, I'd just like to include a few things;

I see Luna portrayed by Kristen Ritter, Lewis as Matthew Lillard (specifically Tim in Senseless (1998), and Reece as Jacob Elordi (see them how you want, this is just to set the scene lol)

Your car mentioned is an 80s Ford Capri in black

I've shortened the lyrics but you'll see it works out better this way :)

There will be mentions of SA and some swearing. You've been warned!

Word count: 2,649

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

There’s always something about the way the atmosphere changes as soon as you know something bad is about to happen.

You thought that hunting by your lonesome was the best thing for you, you were always silent and no one could tell you what to do. You were so independent and emotionless, it made hunts far too easy. Of course, this would make you an easy target.

Reece, who had just joined your group 5 months back, lights a cigarette as soon as he steps out of the car. Nightfall had reached it’s peak and the end of his cigarette lit up a small area, quickly flicking ash onto the floor. He breathes in the toxicity, and breathes out. “I don’t know how you even manage that shit, man.” Luna scoffs, “It’s disgusting.” She looks over to you, and you keep your head down. “Listen, man,” He starts. “I need to relax before we even start this mission. It’s Y/Ns fault why we’re here in the first place.” He flicks his arm at you, darting his eyes at you. Luna furrows her eyebrows quickly before stepping back next to you, her raven hair shining against the moonlight.

Luna is one of the first people that you felt like you could be yourself with. After solving the same case at the same time, separately, you both became close, good friends. You had both similar interests in music, TV shows, even fashion. A lot of people had thought you were sisters rather than friends at first glance.

“N-no, it’s not. My mom could still be in there…” You trail off, feeling completely idiotic even mentioning that your mother had been missing. Reece snorts, flicking more ash from his cigarette before crushing it into the mud. “All you ever do is cry about your fucking mother,” Reece stands up straight after leaning against your car. You suddenly felt a hand caress your back and a figure steps up to Reece. “If this is the only chance we have of finding Y/Ns mom, then we should do it.” Lewis spoke up. His dirty blond hair covered his forehead and his brown eyes shone against the dim headlights. Lewis is the only one who would step up to Reece, despite his tough exterior, he is one of the most genuine guys you ever had the chance of meeting.

Lewis was paired with Luna, but as she was doing the same case as you, he was out of town doing his own case, too. You had only met him about a month after becoming friends with Luna, which turned a pair into a triple.

“When do you have a say? Huh?” Reece bickered, a smile curving his lips. “I’m only here for the entertainment. I’m not here for Y/N.” You grind your teeth in frustration, you could never understand why he was even with you guys in the first place, maybe it was because he was too afraid to be on his own? No one else to put up with him? Both statements may be correct. You feel the need to punch this guy in the fucking balls and it takes a lot of effort not to do so. You feel Lunas’ hand wrap around yours and she squeezes it to comfort you. “Come in with us, or don’t. But we’re going in.” Lewis says, ushering both of you to follow him. He rounds to the back of the car, opening the boot. Revealing all of the weapons and stock you have stacked in there. Lewis hands you a small handgun, and a silver axe. You refill your gun with the correct bullets and accidentally catch eye contact with Reece. Your breathing freezes as you look back down, pretending it never happened.

“Okay, are we ready to go?” Luna asks, shutting the boot of your car. “Don’t forget to lock your doors.” She says, giving you a quick smile. You shoot her one back and twist the key in the drivers side, locking your car. “Are you coming?” You ask Reece quietly, and his cold stare latches onto you. You raise your eyebrows and assume he’s coming with you, so you quickly make your way back with Lewis and Luna.

As you enter the warehouse, its eery and absolutely freezing. This place had been abandoned years ago and had recently been made a werewolf’s nest. You first heard about this from your father, whom you were hunting with to find your mother as she had left you both to find this nest herself. When you didn’t hear from her for a couple of days, you knew something had happened. The hunt with your father was messy, leaving you by yourself while your father had been mauled by werewolves. You like to think that he sacrificed himself to save you, as his destiny was coming to an end. Talking about either of your parents severely upsets you, even to this day. So even mentioning anything about your mother still missing after all this time causes so much heartache, you wouldn’t even wish it on your own worst enemy.

Faint flickers of the wall mounted candles help you somewhat see, you notice they’ve been burning for a while, indicating that someone, or something is still here. With each careful footstep, you tread lightly, scanning every inch of the room. Reece is trailing behind you, but still keeping pace. He doesn’t have a weapon drawn, just walking with his hands in his pockets. His presence makes you feel so uncomfortable, but you hide it from the rest of the group and make it seem like you simply dislike him.

Luna softly turned around, her eyes flashed with horror. “Reece!” She screams, making everyone turn around and aim their weapon. Reece turns around, rapidly moving his hands out of his pockets to protect himself. A werewolf pounces on him, wrestling him to the floor. You take a few steps back in shock, whilst Lewis shoots his gun at it.

The bloodcurdling screams coming from Reece were so unsettling you just froze, unsure how to help. What am I doing?

Oh my God, is this humane? Do something!

Your heart tells you to attack the werewolf but your head tells you to stay. Luna rushes up and stabs the werewolf in the back what seems like hundreds of times. Blood splatters everywhere and gets all in her pin-straight hair. Specs cover her face and her chest. The werewolf weakly turns around to grab her, but Lewis swings his axe and beheads the monster. You stand there, taken aback by not being able to do anything yourself. Your chin wobbles as your throat starts to close up. You stare at Reeces’ body who is still laying on the floor, covered in so much blood. “Y/N…” Lewis breathes out, “What the fuck?”

“I…I-“ You panic, your eyes skim across the room, looking for an answer. “Hey.” Luna looks up at you. “Are you okay? You seem a little-“ Your eyes once again, widened by panic, another werewolf latched onto Lunas arm, biting her which lead to the worst scream of all. “Luna!” You yell, hurdling yourself over to help save your best friend. Quickly grabbing your axe with both hands, you swing and slice the werewolf’s torso. It squeals out in pain, focusing its target on you. Luna launches up and rags it back to the floor, protecting you. She let out another scream. “Fuck!” Lewis shouts, trying everything in his power to detach the wolf fangs from Lunas arm. The wolf rags it’s head to the side, pulling Luna’s arm with it. The squelching, the sounds of bones and skin ripping makes you gag, and you throw up in the corner. Luna lets out one last weak scream before it slowly dies down. You haul yourself on top of the werewolf and slam your axe in it’s head. It’s heavy body eventually slows and falls to the side. You fall along with it. Your leg is stuck underneath the animal, so you shove it off. You glance at the body and stare at the back of its head. Oh my God. “...Mom?” 

The tears burn your eyes, as you look over at Lunas dead body. Lewis is stood, wailing to himself. “Oh, fuck… Luna…” He wipes his face aggressively with his hand, pushing his messy hair out of his face. Tears are streaming down his face, you look up at him with sympathy. “Lewis, I’m so sorry…” You say, but your words are nothing to him right now. “Fuck…” He wails, falling to his knees to hold Luna’s fragile state in his arms. From what you knew, Luna and Lewis were inseparable. They spent every living second together and they loved each other with their whole hearts. Seeing one of your friends like this makes you truly empathise for him.

Lewis cocks his gun, taking safety off. “Lewis, what are you d-“ You jump back as a gunshot was fired. You open your eyes to see that Lewis had shot himself, so he could finally be with Luna in eternity. You start to bawl, what the hell happened in the last 5 minutes?

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

8/18/2014

All of my friends are dead. The only time I actually hadn’t felt alone was when I was with them. The thought of having to start all over again makes me sick. Mom is dead, she was the one who killed Luna and then I had to kill her. I’m sick of this empty feeling in my heart.

I’ve sat here for God knows how long, my watch is broke and my phone has ran out of battery. I have nowhere to go.

At least I’m free from the power that Reece held over me, I never told anyone about what he put me through. The first day it happened was the 11th of June, he made me feel absolutely worthless, I wish I didn’t remember how or why, but it’s etched into my skull for the rest of my life. I whole-heartedly hate myself and God for allowing this to happen. But maybe I deserved it, for whatever I’ve done. I’ll never find peace.

My lesson learned:

If it feels like a trap, you’re already in one

Get out your map and just run

To start anew you need to burn everything, desert your past lives and if you don’t recognise yourself, that means you’ve done it right.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

Your hands shake as you try to pull yourself together. “I’ve done this countless times before,” you tell yourself, “I can do it again.” You finally find the courage to stand up, your knees almost buckling beneath you. You wipe your nose with the back of your hand, your eyes feel like they’re drying out. Exhausted and out of tears, you exit the building the same way you came in, avoiding the pile of deceased to the left of you.

Fresh air hits you in the face, wishing it could bring you back to reality. Everything that has happened in the past 24 hours feels like a nightmare, it was a nightmare. Feeling more alone than ever, you unlock your car door and sit in silence. You turn the engine over, letting the radios static take over the uncomfortable feeling that’s looming over you. You take out your journal again but not opening it, you start writing on the cover:

If this journal is found, please burn it.

You open your car window and chuck the journal out into the mud. You have written basically your whole life so far into that book, but the desire to start over is so strong right now. Your heart is telling you to go back and get the journal, and just carry on with life as you were, but your brain is acknowledging that leaving everything behind is something that’s a long time coming. You feed into your feelings of abandoning your life story and drive off of the grass and onto the main road.

A few days later

Sam and Dean arrive at what looks like an abandoned warehouse. Muddy and slippery, the wheels of the Impala catch on a small puddle and skids. Dean presses on the gas more but slowly gives up. “Well, guess this is where I’m parking.” He jokes, and Sam huffs. They both exit the vehicle and inspect the outside of the building. Dean walks up to the side of the building and looks through a smashed window. “I can’t see a thing,” He mumbles to himself, before stepping backwards. He turns around and notices what looks like a book on the floor, he bends down and picks it up.

“Hey, Sammy, get a load of this.” He starts, wiping away the residue of mud from the front of the book. Sam stands by his side, “If this journal is found, please burn it.” Sam slowly repeats the cover on the book, squinting trying to read everything correctly. The book itself had been flooded so most of the pages are already damaged, the front cover that was tan, is now a very dark brown. “Okay, well, as they wish.” Dean reaches into his jacket pocket for a lighter, rummaging around. “Got a lighter in here somewhere,” He says, and Sam reaches over quickly to stop him.

“Dean, stop. What if this persons in trouble?” He reasons with him, and Dean furrows his eyebrows. “Who gives a damn? I wanna set this thing on fire.” He chuckles, sticking his tongue out a little.

“Dean.” Sam lowers his tone, and Dean pauses. “Let’s at least put it aside and go check inside. There could be werewolves inside waiting for their next dinner, and it’ll be you next if we aren’t careful.” He says, dragging his brother along with him to the entrance of the warehouse.

As soon as they enter, they’re hit with a foul smell of rotting flesh. Dean suddenly covers his nose and Sam wretches. “Holy mother…” Dean coughs, double taking at the pile of rotting corpses in the middle of the building. “What the Hell?” He says, Sam peering over as well. They both make their way over and notice a small girl with black, pin straight hair laying lifeless underneath another body of a woman, who seemed to be the attacker. “Was this our vic?” Sam says, bending down to inspect both of the bodies. He lifts the first woman’s head and lifts her mouth up, his eyes narrowing straight to the set of fang-like teeth. He takes her hand and notices her claws, too. Sam shakes his head. “Well, she’s definitely our culprit.” He stands up, allowing his brother to take a look himself. He walks over to the other side to inspect the other bodies. Dean hisses as he examines the wounds on the girl with the dark hair. “This must’ve hurt. Not sure if she’s the person with the journal though.” He says, shaking his head lightly. “How did it get out there if these are in here?” He asks, standing back up. “I’m not sure. But I don’t want to give up hope yet.” Sam says.

“It’s a case within a case within a case.” Dean looks at Sam, obviously proud of himself.

“Shut up.” Sam smiles at his brothers stupidity. “C’mon, let’s go find the person who’s journal it is.” He says, and they both walk back to the Impala, carrying the journal with them.

Dean turns the engine over and before he sets off, he notices that there are very faint tyre marks leading toward the main road. “Those are fresh, look,” He nudges Sam and points toward the road. “This could be them,” Sam states, “Let’s go.” Dean revs his engine and unsticks himself from the puddle, and rapidly emerges onto the road, darting down to the closest town.

[xatsperesso]

Ahhh I really love your Kalego content!!! Best dad 😍

Are you still open to prompts? Wonder how Dadlego will react when seeing/smelling Iruma’s human blood for the first time

Put yourself first

Kalego was tired.

He was once again roped into sacrificing his weekend for the chairman's whims, and once again Opera teased him in front of the kids like he hasn't spent years trying to build his reputation. Then he goes to teach the school but ever since the secret got out the abnormal class has become insufferable!

They no longer listen to him when he teaches, instead they keep asking Iruma about anything and literally e v e r y t h i n g. From schooling to fashion to why he doesnt have horns, and while some questions are intiguing and worth looking into (Is their food really healthy for humans?) ignoring his lessons for a week to ask iruma all the questions they've been suppressing because they didn't have the courage to ask him beforehand is just unaceptable!

So of course, Kalego thought the best way to punish them for not listening to him would be to double their homework, but that didn't deter them from getting their answers.

So Kalego tripled their homework, and it all snowballed from their to where he is now, correcting 80 assignments per student each day, having regular meetings with Balam (whom he beleives to be his..friend, according to human culture) Opera and sometimes Iruma to figure out what needs to be changed to provide him with the best learning environment they could, and trying to figure out exactly how many people who knows of the brat's nature without tipping them off.

So, of course, Kalego is tired, and while some will blame it on him (He really should stop doubling the kids' homework) he beleives that he deserves to re-

A pencil, long left by a brat who Kalego swears he will find, caused Kalego's leg to slip and him to fall. Now, Kalego could've easily caught himself, but poor, tired Kalego thought that it'd be alright to let himself just fall. There are no kids around, no one to see this embarassing scene of himself.

And it would have been fine, except that he slipped and fell off the third floor

on a very beautiful fence that gaurds Balam's new blue fire flowers, the amaryllis.

said fence happened to have very skillfuly carved spikes.

why is his life like this? Why did he wake up this morning? To be impaled on the fence and be seen by anyone who happens to be in the garden? To be the laughing stock of his colleagues once they find out about this humiliating moment?

Kalego sighed a very tired, sad sigh. He'll get up. He'll heal himself. He'll stop by Beur to make sure that everything in its place, and he'll go to Shichirou's office to see what else needs to be changed and he'll finish grading the 1040 assignments he's got to grade (how do they even finish them all in one day??)

He just, just needs a minute, or five. Just five minutes, and he promises he'll do all of these things. Just a five minutes break.

Kalego closes his eyes, and takes as deep of a breath as the pole allows him to, and just-

"S-Sensei!" Opens his eyes again because the universe refuses to give him a break

"Sensei y-you're hurt!"

"Yeah, no shit" he says, and immediately regrets once he saw the very teary eyes that looks just a second away from full on bawling.

"Iruma, I'm fine" he tries to reassure the kid who started shaking all over. Shit, would it be better to put his hand on the kids shoulder? No, no, his hand is covered in blood.

"Bu, but you, you" and the tears are falling. Fuck, Opera will hang him for traumatising his kid, but why is he so shaken up? Is this his first time seeing anyone hurt? Oh shit he's a human what if it is the first time-

Iruma starts to very shakily recite a spell under his breath, and kalego thinks he knows which spell he's using-

"Sonuvabitch!" Kalego winced as he tried to muffle the curse. The brat used the damn floating spell to get him off the spikes, and Kalego was so not ready for this. He was not ready for pain that is resembled being used as cerberus's chewing toy.

"I'm sorry, you're ok, you're going to be fine, everything is going to be fine" is Iruma trying to assure Kalego or himself? Kalego has no idea, but he kept repeating those words like a mantra as he lowered him down to the ground.

"I am fi-" a metallic smell, so strong it felt nauseating hit Kalego so hard, and something was dripping on his wound. Kalego opened his eyes to look at the wound as it fizzled closed before his eyes.

"What the," Kalego didn't know of any potion that healed so quickly. He looked up to see what potion in the name of Delkira could Iruma have-

He saw a knife. He saw crimson liquid that fell from Iruma’s hand, and he saw a shaky smile painted on Iruma’s face.

He's ashamed that it took him a long moment to process what Iruma just did, but by the time it fully clicked, Iruma was already talking out a piece of cloth to wrap around the wound. The wound that he just inflicted on himself, to heal Kalego who was not healing himself because he was lazy.

"Iruma," Kalego watched as Iruma's smile started to dim at his tone and immediately stopped. Wound first, scolding later.

"Give me your hand" he streched his arm, waiting for Iruma to give him his injured arm, and he watched as Iruma relaxed slightly and did as he said.

He unwrapped the cloth, and the metallic smell was so strong he almost choked, but he took a deep breath and casted the spell, making sure that the wound was healed completely, leavinv not a mark or a bruise behind.

"..Does human blood always smell like this?" He asked as he kept poking his hand and seeing if Iruma gives any reaction.

"Demon blood doesn't?" He asked as he tilted his head to the side. So his blood is supposed to smell like that.

"No, it doesn't smell so metallic" he paused for a second, before looking into Iruma’s eyes.

"Why did you hurt yourself?" He asked, and watched as Iruma averted his eyes and started to look guilty and self conscious (Good. This means he knows that this was wrong)

"Well, human blood heals demons, so," he trailed off and started to play with his fingers

"Yes, I saw that" Kalego nodded "but why did you hurt yourself?" Iruma started to fidget in his place, and he looked like he was trying to force the tears down.

"You were hurt, sensei" he finally looked up at Kalego, and his mouth started to quiver

"I, I didn't want to lose you" he averted his gaze immediately after whispering those words, and shit how should Kalego proceed from there?

"...you wouldn't have lost me" he started with reassuring his kid "all of the teachers here know high level healing spells, and we have Beur-sensei on campus for a reason"

"Oh" the tears started falling, but other than that Iruma looked overall calm

"Then, why were you just laying there?" Kalego sighed. He needs to word this correctly so that Iruma wouldn't come out of it with any wormg ideas.

"I," he started, hating the sentence that was forming in his head but knowing that it is the safest one for someone as reckless as Iruma

"I was doing the very stupid act of overworking myself, and when I was on the pole instead of prioritising my health and well-being, I took it as an opportunity to rest. I was going to go to Beur, but then you caught me and didn't listen when I said that I was fine"

And now Iruma is looking embarrassed. Good, because he really should listen to him more.

He started fidgeting again, but this time out of embarrassment "I thought you were lying, or just trying to reassure me"

"Lying," he leaned forward and poked Iruma’s to really drive the point across "is for dumbasses who think everyone around them is too weak to help. And hurting yourself," he picked up the newly healed hand "to help someone should not be your first response. To anything. Period"

"Bu-but what if someone is dying! What if there's no other choice!" And Kalego really, really wants to tell him that there's always another choice. He wants to tell him that he's safe, that he would never be in a situation that he would ever need to use his own blood to save someone's life.

But Iruma has already been in these situations. He’s been in these situations five times, and he's extremely lucky to come out of them alive, let alone uninjured.

"Then you consult an adult, and if there’re no adults you use as a last resort" he really wishes his kid, all the kids could be safe. He wishes he could give Iruma another answer

But the world they live in is an unfair one (maybe it'd be safer to just send him back)

"Yes, sensei" He nods very determinantly, and Kalego, not for the last time, sighs as he knows that Iruma will most likely ignore his words.

He needs to give those kids first aid lessons. They've been through a lot, and judging from recent incidents, they'll be through even more. He's surprised they didn't teach them these lessons yet.

Kalego gets up, totally ignoring his knees that pops louder than those works of fire, and picks up Iruma from the scruff of his uniform, completely taking him by surprise.

"I will be report what just happened to Opera-sen, Opera-san" he said sternly as he started walking towards the chairman's office

"Yes, sensei"

"What were you even doing after school hours?"

"Grandpa (the old ground keeper) asked for help in the garden"

"Ah"

--

Ifrit was drinking a juice box

Orias was eating a bag of chips

Murmur was roast marshmallows on Ifrit's tail

They were all standing around a big puddle of blood under a very bloodied fence

"Mmm, where do you think that came from?" Orias asked, before stuffing his face with more chips

"I don't know, but what is that smell?" Murmur started assembling s'mores as discretely as he could so Ifrit won't extinguish his fire

"That's the smell of a human blood, probably Iruma’s but the smell is too faint so all of that probably isn't from him" Ifrit noticed the melted s'mores in Murmur's hands, and snatched as he extinguished his tail

"Oh damn, didn't know we were a boarding school. That explains were Iruma came from" Orias ate more chips and watched as Murmur tried and failed to take his s'mores back before Ifrit ate it in one bite

"No, Iruma is Sullivan’s grandson. Legally. Sullivan showed off his adoption papers to me when I tried asking him about the new semester's schedul-Hey! Put me down!"

Murmur started angrily shaking Ifrit in the air "You took my s'mores!"

"*munch munch munch* you guysh shink we should report shis blood to shome one?" Orias tilted hus head to eat the cheeze dust and immediately started choking as some went down the wrong pipe

"Nah, someone will do it eventually-Ow ow ow ow ow too hot too hot too hot-"

"Put. Me. Down"

Orias took one last look at the blood puddle and wiped away the tears that were starting to form

"You guys wanna play some video games?"

"Heck yeah," Murmur let go of Ifrit and totally ignored the thud and the 'oof' that followed "I'm playing as Gyari!"

"Then I'll play as Kuromu, and I'm kicking your ass"

"...you guys don't even know which game I'm talking about"

-------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, kalego keeps doubling and tripling their hw (the bastard) and i just think that he does it without thinking of the fact that he would have to correct it

And what if demon blood doesnt have red blood cells, thus doesn't have haemoglobin, the thing that gives blood it's metallic smell/taste (i think) what if there blood doesn't need it and it can hold oxygen efficiently? Do i know what im talking about? Not really, it's been 2 months I've last read my bio books but anyways im pretty sure(not sure at all) insects dont have red blood cells so ya know biologically it is possible and could be an easy and definitive way to identify humans from demons since there are a lot of diversity in demons.

Also just because there are books on human world (books that balam have memorised) doesn't mean that they cover all the info needed to grow your own info, and seriously, is the food good in the long run?

[northern-passage]

“dread wolf is the second act of inquisition” pssst ur correct. silas was originally meant to be the mid reveal twist after killing corypheus (and then the dlc takes place as the first act of the second half of the game) and then you kill/defeat solas (with the main story only play being around 40-80 hrs rather then the current 20-40) but due to crunching, serious budget cuts, me:a issues in other departments, technical difficulties, MULTIPLE rewrites and generally just. poor handling from ea, the game got majorly sliced (hence the amount of side quests vs the size of the worlds in the game and it being so empty) and then even dreadwolf having a million behind the scenes issues. i think it’s on its third rewrite now.

yeah, i knew it was bad but i've never really fully looked into the extent of what happened. it's really unfortunate :/ i worry about da4 not even for the game itself but for bioware. it's obvious EA is doing what they always do which is 1. be soullessly fucking greedy and 2. absorb and destroy their competitors, whether it's intentional or not. it's a miracle imo after andromeda and anthem that bioware is even still going forward with da4 (but it seems like it will be the final nail in the coffin and EA is the one holding the hammer). i hope they can finish and put out something they're proud of, at the very least :(

[godsofhumanity]

while i've been inactive, i've been tagged in LOADS of tag chains, especially by the lovely @15pantheons, so i've decided to just respond to everything in one big post.

Feb 20, 2024: 4x fictional characters you relate to + let someone assume something about it. btw, @15pantheons, ur combination of rapunzel + a frog + a classical painting depicting a scene i can't quite place + alice from twilight makes me assume that ur a kind, gentle soul with a penchant for nice, pure-hearted characters <3

i relate to shaggy and cronus because i, too, have a huge appetite. i relate to seraphim because sometimes i feel evil. i relate to ash because sometimes i just want to live my life in peace and then shit happens and i have to take responsibility for it even though i don't want to.

<- idk what happened to the formatting.

Feb 26, 2024: do THIS personality quiz and list the first 20 characters:

Carmela Soprano (The Sopranos): 80%

Sansa Stark (Game of Thrones): 79%

Claire Standish (The Breakfast Club): 79%

Rarity (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic): 79%

Mamá Imelda (Coco): 79%

Fleur Delacour (Harry Potter): 78%

Monica Geller (Friends): 78%

Dana Barrett (Ghostbusters): 78%

Lila Crane (Psycho): 78%

Yu Shu Lien (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon): 78%

Rose Weissman (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel): 78%

Tahani Al-Jamil (The Good Place): 77%

Tess Ocean (Ocean's 11): 77%

Legolas (Lord of the Rings): 76%

Michel Gerard (Gilmore Girls): 76%

Penelope (The Odyssey): 76%

Amy Sosa (Superstore): 76%

Mitchell Pritchett (Modern Family): 76%

Diana Barrigan (White Collar): 76%

Amanda LaRusso (Cobra Kai): 76%

unrelated but this i had the Rarity MLP when i was little and she was my favourite so it's funny to see her on this list. also W for dana and legolas being on this list. sickk

3. March 4, 2024: list the song you LAST listened to, a song stuck in your head, and your favourite song:

last song: notorious // duran duran | song stuck: little fighter // white lion | favourite song: still loving you // scorpions

4. March 10, 2024: type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence

"my gender is a woman" which is correct!

5. March 25, 2024: picrew maker :)

6. April 4, 2024: picrew maker 2

7. April 4, 2024: uquiz AND picrew maker 3

8. April 4, 2024: two out-of-context images saved on your camera roll

9. April 4, 2024: find your "cosmo persona"

10. April 4, 2024: 3x random facts about yourself

a) i'm a fifth-year engineering student, b) i hate my degree, c) my hobby and, arguably, greatest skill is sleeping and napping

11. April 7, 2024: uquiz for what sad planet analogy u are

12. April 7, 2024: make an evil picrew 4 of yourself

13. April 7, 2024: another picrew.

aaannd done!!

i'll tag basically anyone who sees any of these and would like to do them.. thank u very much for tagging me Lily <3 i'm sorry i didn't reply sooner :(

[seeminglyseph]

goddamn I want an adaptation of Animorphs that isn’t necessarily modernized (Stranger Things taking place in the 80′s proves period Sci-Fi is good, let’s just do a 90′s Alien Invasion series? The 90′s is a good time to revisit in media honestly. let’s have some earnest throwbacks. I can handle some anachronisms that throw some Early 2000s music or basic tech to get a little like. ‘internet that makes sense’ because 90′s computer technology might be on the verge of just. being too weird for modern audiences? Like just modern enough to be recognizable, but then it doesn’t work like something that anyone modern understands, so the tone gets muddied in the cognitive dissonance of like ‘what the fuck is a netscape?’)

I am listening to a NaDPod 8 Bit Podcast about Animorphs and Emily Axford did describe the perfect adaptation of Animorphs being something like Stranger Things, and I know it would take a bigger budget because the morphing is like. a) they are correct it should 100% be body horror, it was always body horror, Animorphs was always horror for children. Nothing will ever terrify you like the scenes where they become colony insects. b) if they put it on TV or streaming they would have to up the rating because you can write about a lot of things that if you visualize it suddenly it becomes a lot lot lot worse. and there is a lot of Animorph stuff that is gory as hell.

Also Shawn Ashmore has to play a minor role. Idk who. maybe Tom, somehow. age up the cast like you’d inevitably have to and pretend Tom is a college student or something. I think it would be funny. I’ve seen older people play high school students before.

And you should do a remix of “It’s All In Your Hands” because that song was one of the best parts of the original adaptation lmao

[apalooka]

It Lives Within | Chapter 20: No Way Home | Choices

It Lives Within Home Page

Choices may vary based on if Noah or ILITW MC survived.

For convenience sake, ILITW MC will be referred to as "Devon". ILB MC will be referred to as “Harper”.

Choice 1

Duck! (🠘 Correct)

Dodge! (MC Nerve -2)

Block! (Didn't get Amalia's chapter 13 self-defense scene, MC Nerve -2)

Block, grab, attack! (🠘 Correct, Got Amalia's chapter 13 scene, MC Nerve +2)

Choice 2 This Choice is timed!

Shoot! (SHADOW +1)

Dodge! (BLOOD +1)

Freeze! (MC Nerve -3)

If time runs out, you Freeze!

JOCELYN Nerve +5, if she got the Whip.

MC Nerve +5, if you got the Bone Dog.

If you get the Shield: ABEL Nerve +5, MC Nerve +3

AMALIA Nerve +5

Choice 3 - if Amalia came back in Chapter 18 This Choice is timed!

Duck and roll! (🠘 Correct)

Rock and roll! (No effect)

Bread roll! (MC Nerve -2)

If time runs out, you choose Bread roll!

AMALIA Nerve Check! AMALIA Nerve +3 if passed.

Choice 4 - If Amalia did NOT come back in Chapter 18

Left! (No effect)

Center! (No effect)

Right! (No effect)

JOCELYN Nerve Check! If she passes, go to Choice 6. If not, go to Choice 5.

Choice 5 - If Jocelyn failed her Nerve Check.

Let Jocelyn handle it. (JOCELYN Nerve -5)

Stop Nate right now. (No effect)

Choice 6

Hell yeah. (MC Nerve +5, JOCELYN Nerve +5)

How about no? (No effect)

Choice 7

I promise. (AMALIA Nerve +3)

I can’t promise that. (AMALIA Nerve -1)

If Amalia or Jocelyn were heavily romanced and someone else was picked in Chapter 19, you will lose relationship points with them.

Choice 8

Offer to patch it up for her. (If your relationship is over 50, +JOCELYN, otherwise, No effect)

Let her do it yourself. (No effect)

Choice 9 Choice loops. You talk to everyone who is alive/present.

Amalia, “Harper”, and Danni. (No effect)

Jocelyn, Andy, and Tom. (Choice 10)

Abel, Parker, and Imogen. (No effect)

Lincoln, Ava, and Dan. (Choice 11)

Choice 10

We should kill them. (No effect)

I feel the same. (No effect)

Choice 11 - You only get this option if NOT romancing Lincoln AND your relationship is 80 or above.

Hug him. (+LINCOLN)

Tease him about being besties. (+LINCOLN)

Nod. (No effect)

If Amalia or Jocelyn were heavily romanced and someone else was picked in Chapter 19, you will lose relationship points with them.

If Jocelyn's relationship with you is 50 or higher, she will come clean about working with Matthias.

If Jocelyn's relationship with you is lower than 50, she will lead you into a trap. (Go to Choice 14)

Choice 12 - No Betrayal You only get this Choice if you chose Jocelyn as your LI in Chapter 19.

Kiss her. ❤️ (No effect)

Step away from her. (No effect)

Choice 13 - No Betrayal You only get this Choice if Amalia or Lincoln is your LI.

Break it up. (No effect)

Step aside. (No effect)

Choice 14 - If you got all the Collectibles

Of course! (MC Nerve +5)

No thanks. (No effect)

If he has the Shield, (ABEL Nerve +5)

If you accepted Matthias's feelings in Chapter 17, continue to Choice 15. Otherwise, skip to Choice 18.

Choice 15 - Matthias Romance

First show me your real face. (Matthias will turn into his younger form.)

Go on. (No effect)

Choice 16 - Matthias Romance

Yes. (No effect)

No. (You join Matthias)

Choice 17 - Matthias Romance If you answered “Yes” in Choice 16.

With you. (You join Matthias.)

Against you. (You fight Matthias. Chapter End)

Choice 18

Agree to take Loha’s place. (No effect)

Refuse. (No effect)

Choice 19

Go to hell. (No effect)

You won’t get away with this. (No effect)

I’ll find another way. (No effect)

JOCELYN Nerve +5, if you do NOT join Matthias and she has the whip.

AMALIA Nerve +3, if Jocelyn warned you of the trap.

Chapter 20 Complete

6 out of 6 Collectibles Found 9 out of 9 Lore Docs Found

&lt;;< It Lives Within Choices: Index

&lt; Chapter 19: Three, Two, One, Fun

> Chapter 21: Vertigo Cave

[jesuscrab]

vince gilligan probablly misspoke talking about "turning a protagonist into the antagonist" thing. It's a common mistake, i assume even a high prestige director and writer might use that word as a subsititue for "anti-hero".

But i think he was right.

at the beggining walt is our protagonist, we see him struggle againts the meth buisness, constantly having brushes with death or polaice or other unfortune circumstances. he's the underdog of this story, and odd pieace out, slowly finding his place in the crime buinsess.

but then season 5 hits, and walt achives everthing he wanted - in a span of a 5 minute montage. if you haven't seen the show, no, im not joking - i was suprised by that scene too. we have a 5 minute montage, a three month timeskip, and walt's empire is number one. he has (assuming his count is correct in ozymandias) 80 million dollars in cash, and remember, he said he only needed less then a million to ensure a good future for his family.

season 5 walt is no longer the bubbling underdog. he is on the top of the food chain, not having to hide things from his wife anymore, no longer dealing with gus or mike or jesse. there is no struggle anymore, victory is achieved. we no longer really have to root for walt, becuse he just took over everthing seamlessly. there is no one left to challenge him, really.

and that is when the show changs its focus - when you have a character that achives everything, what do you do? its simple, you show them loosing it all. how empires crumble. even though we are still following walt through to the end and mainly focus on him, the show is now about every other character working againts him, trying to take him down. we root for jessie and hank fidning out the truth and finally punishing walt for his crimes and freeing skylar from her abuse. they are the protagonists now - and walt is their enemy, their antagonist.

i guess that's cool, right?

[wildchildvdm]

Fic! Asks! #9!!!

My writing process. Great great ask baby girl ❤️

Before I write I make myself tea with some butter biscuits.

So first of all I write it in Italian. Because it’s easier for me to put down the emotions and feelings. But before I really start I start to take my notes on that brown faux leather notebook I bought two months ago. Times passed I still love it. There I write the ideas I have before put it on my laptop.

So I put the right music that makes me imagine the scene, sometimes I quote the song during the scene.

Here is an example: when I used to write Heaven is a place on earth there is a flashback scene on the beach where our two main characters where listening to Slade and the song Summer Song (wishing your were here) from the album Slade in Flame (1974) came in especially during that almost kiss scene because the flashback is set in 1983 and I wanted to find the right song for the right feeling of a teenage dream of the time with these two soon to be Pro Wrestlers.

So for me the right song does a lot when writing a scene. Especially during the process to create an OC like when I first created Amelia I used and still use a lot of music from 70s and 80s so Slade, Supertramp, Elton John, Queen, Depeche Mode, Status Quo etc… (I have the playlist on Spotify for who wants to check it out). Or who knows Eva in Shatter and Castigo y Pecado with her is more particular because she is Italian American and I use a lot of Italian and Neapolitan music in her creation process.

And also depends on the scene I am about to write.

Then during the process I also write an order for the paragraphs and scenes because some scenes are long and some are short (but not less important).

When finished the chapter after having breakdowns I send it in Italian to Salvatore and @yukioni02 who are my Betas and they read it and give me advices before I start the translation process.

In the case of Castigo y Pecado when I write in Spanish and on the process of creating Latinos characters I always ask my Hermanita @claymorexpunisher for some help and advices and especially correction in Spanish. Because I don’t want to be in the middle of a shitstorm and there no one I can ask better than a latina to avoid it. My dear Gigi being half Boricua and half Honduran and she explained me a lot of things from food (that I absolutely need the recipes) to simple traditions during festivities. And this because I created a character who is the bestie of Eva and she is actually Boricua and she is also inspired by my bestie of more than 10 years especially how she looks like. And even because it's a fanfiction about Damian Priest so... Here we are. Another people I ask for advices are my Fam on the Server On The Other Side on Discord. I love y'all lots.

My WIP is now also Wild Rose’s Tale the fully Kayfabe alternative of HIAPOE, while this I will keep writing and keep it to myself while Wild Rose’s Tale will be published soon when I finish to write it in Italian. When I translate it I ask you always for advices and soon I start to get on @kayfabebabe nerves and ask him for advices (love you dude).

And when I finished to translate, correcting etc... I publish to both Wattpad and AO3. Great Success.