#could i tag these type of stories as ficlets ? idk

[annwrites]

i think you needed me.

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: ficlet (part of a series)

— summary: billy helps you with homework, you realize you have a crush, & yet another man enters the fold

— tags: billy trying to learn more about you, billy opening up about who he used to be

— tw: references to past sexual abuse/grooming of a minor, mentions of drugs, infidelity, implied abortion

— word count: 4,458

— a/n: going forward, this fic will be dealing in heavy material, like those referenced in the tw & more. sex scenes will be graphic & potentially triggering to some readers. putting it out there now, so some know to stop before following along any further with this post/series.

i hope this post seems okay. idk how i feel about writing billy this way. it feels ooc, bc he's so nice & mature, but he's supposed to be for this story, bc that's the kind of man reader desperately needs to lean on. idk. i think i just need to get more comfortable with characterizing him so differently than i did in my thoroughfare series.

When Billy enters the house, he finds you to his left in the living room. Or, what is now serving as a poor excuse for one. You’re on the floor, lying on your stomach atop a light blue blanket, legs in the air behind you, waving back and forth as you work on what he assumes is homework.

You glance up to him for a moment, a pencil balanced atop your upper lip which is in a pout to keep it in-place and he smirks at the sight.

He holds up a plastic bag from a hardware store. “Brought you a new doorknob.”

You drop the writing utensil. “Does that one have a lock, too?”

“It does.”

You turn back to the textbook in front of you. “Good. Now you can replace the other one that you broke.”

His lip twitches. “Yes, ma’am.”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

He repeats the statement yet again before heading up.

A handful of minutes later, he comes back downstairs, seating himself on the cushion-less couch. “Done.”

You look back at him over your shoulder.

He lays an arm across the back of the couch. “What? Do you want to inspect my handiwork?”

You go back to your homework. “Not really. And you’re not getting paid, either.”

He chuckles. “I’d say that’s only fair, since it needing to be replaced at all is my fault to begin with.”

Both of you grow silent then and he leans forward, squinting, trying to get a look at whatever you’re working on. “Number four is wrong.”

He leans back again.

You don’t initially respond, telling yourself that he’s just picking on you. Or that you don’t really care if your decimal is in the wrong place, but you keep glancing back to the question. You sigh loudly then and he smiles in response. “So what’s the right answer, then?”

He shrugs. “You tell me, sweetheart.”

You don’t like him calling you that yet again. Scott is the only one who gets to call you by that term of endearment. Joe had tried it once—twice, maybe—and even if he scared the shit out of you, you made it clear that he could call you by anything else but that. He’d agreed easily, since his cock had just been buried in your warm, wet mouth—close to finishing. His mind was occupied with other things at the time than arguing over meaningless nicknames. He’d given you what you wanted—agreement—and then you’d given him the same: an orgasm, which included swallowing, before his wife came home.

You look at him over your shoulder again. “Don’t ever call me that again. Got it?”

He blinks down at you for a moment, the air in the room shifting as he wonders whether you disliked that specific pet name, or pet names in general. And much more: why? “Sure.” He clears his throat. “It’s four point six seven, by the way. Your decimal is in the wrong place.”

You turn back to your paper, erasing and then correcting. You’d known you had screwed up, but had gotten so frustrated that you’d chosen to eventually move onto the next question.

“I hate math,” you mutter.

He props his other elbow up against the arm of the couch, resting his head against his fist. “It was my favorite subject, actually.”

“Can’t imagine why,” you say, filling in number five, hoping you’ve at least gotten it right. You’re sure Billy will tell you if you haven’t.

“What’s your favorite subject? You like to read, so I assume English?”

You bob your head from side-to-side for a moment. “It’s a tie between that and science.”

Ironic, he thinks. The daughter of a meth manufacturer who loves science.

Speaking of, you’d spent last night on-edge, wondering what the hell had gone through your head to think sharing such a secret with a complete stranger to be a good idea. If any of the men found out…‘being in trouble’ wouldn’t even begin to cover it.

You didn’t want to think what Joe would do to you if he found out you’d ran your mouth off to some random that wasn’t even from here, and clearly not a customer, either.

You weren’t sure that the prospect of him never getting to use you for his own personal sexual satisfaction again would be enough to save you.

Thankfully, however, the only cruiser that had shown up last night—which had still made your heart jump into your throat when you’d glanced out the screen door as your dad went out and you saw it—was Travis’. He’d just been bringing his weekly earnings by to be divvied up.

As your dad stood there counting; ensuring that everything was in-order, he’d stared at you, eyes trailing along your body.

You’d not reacted. You hardly did anymore. They all liked to look. But only a select few were allowed to touch. And he had. Twice now. Even if he was engaged. Not that being spoken-for seemed to matter much to any of them.

Joe had been married now for twenty-five years. Longer than you’d even been alive. But whenever his wife went off to visit her sister, or was to be gone majority of the day and the urge hit him…

Travis was different than him in bed, though.

Then again, they all had their own personal…styles.

Joe really liked blowjobs and demeaning dirty-talk, or taking you from behind—honestly, so long as he was fucking you in some form, he was pleased.

Travis, in the two times you’d now been together, had been more on the gentle side, almost like he was afraid of hurting you—it often made you wonder if that was how his fiancée liked it.

Rhett—in the one time you had been together a year ago—had been tender. You tried not to think about the way he had looked at you that night too much. Or the way he looked at you literally each time he was around you after. With longing, and something else you didn’t want to think about.

He knew what it had been going into it. It wasn’t your problem if he’d hoped for more. You’d been clear from the start.

Sometimes, though, you still felt guilty, knowing that it hurt him each time you slept with one of the other men, or they shared you between them, touching you right in front of him.

And then there was Scott. With him it was just…familiarity. Your bodies simply understanding one another. Wants, needs—they no longer even needed to be talked about. Once your naked skin was pressed against each other—in bed, against the wall, on the bench seat in his pickup, in his garage—it was almost like routine. A pleasant one. Like an old habit that both of you refused to kick. Not that you had any reason to.

Even if, when you fought, it left both of you fuming for days. But the making up was the good part. So, the thought of cutting things off never occurred to either of you. Not that it would last long if you even tried.

You were the only girl he’d bothered to continue carrying on with for so long.

And he was the only man you allowed to kiss you on the mouth.

That was your only rule with the rest of them: they could do, and have you do whatever they desired, but no kissing on the lips. Period.

And then you think of you breaking that rule just yesterday for someone else. But he’d been asleep, so that instance had been different. Or, that’s what you’d told yourself, at least.

You don’t even know why you had done it. Maybe to have a secret of your very own. A new one, that is. Because this house had been that, until he’d showed up.

And now you were back to pretending to be someone else for yet one more man in your life. No more letting your walls down for a few hours and just being a teenage girl with hopes and dreams—playing pretend—even if they dwindled little-by-little as time went on, and you warmed yet one more man’s bed.

He’d ripped that away from you.

You’re broken from your thoughts by Billy speaking again. “I can check your answers once you’re done. If you want.”

“Okay.”

You glance back to him over your shoulder and he meets your gaze with a raised brow. “Need help?”

You study him for a moment, then, “No.”

You turn back around. You’d just been curious as to where his eyes were currently trained at at-present. Because this moment reminds you of a similar one from three years ago, when you’d been fourteen, lying on your stomach on the living room floor, watching TV—you couldn’t even remember what had been on now.

The thing you could recall, however, was Joe sitting on the couch behind you, watching you with hooded lids. When you had turned back to him—feeling suddenly uneasy—you’d watched as he’d adjusted himself over his jeans, making sure you’d seen.

You’d felt sickly after, and hadn’t understood why.

Out of all of them, he’d always been your least-favorite. You had many reasons for that. Perhaps because he was the worst, even if he thought he was the best.

Once you’ve finished, you stand, coming to sit beside Billy, resting back on your calves as you watch him look over your paper.

You study him for a moment, noticing a bit of oil near his brow, and you lick your thumb, then reach toward him to wipe it away.

He pulls back, staring at you. “What’re you doing?”

You don’t reply. You simply clean him up, resting your palm back against your thigh. You wonder if he likes you touching him.

They usually do.

He stares at you for just a moment longer—you can swear that he blushes—before looking back to your paper. “Nine is wrong. Like, way off, kiddo.”

He hands it back to you.

You snort at the nickname, taking it from him. “What is it, then?”

He crosses his arms. “You tell me.”

This again.

You shrug, standing, bending over to put it back in your backpack—you can feel his eyes on your rear. “I can live with one wrong answer.”

He lays his head back against the couch, rolling his eyes. “The correct answer was B, not D.”

You smirk then, pulling the paper back out, quickly correcting it, then putting it away again.

“Never going to learn if I just keep telling you all the right answers.”

You turn back to him then, shrugging. “I’m used to getting what I want.”

He shakes his head lightly.

You sit down again, back pressed against the couch’s other arm, knees bent, feet pressed together in front of you. You break the silence this time.

“So, you went to Hawkins High, too?”

He nods. “Mhm.”

“What were you like? The way you are now?” It seemed to you that most men never grew out of being boys.

He smirks. “No. I was a completely different person.” He rolls his head to the side, looking at you. “Honestly, and this is just going off of a hunch, but I think you would’ve fuckin’ hated me.”

That surprises you. “Really? Why?”

He shrugs, looking up to the ceiling. “I was King Bad-Boy-Asshole. Smoking, drinking, partying, fighting, getting laid and driving a cool car. Generally acting like I didn’t give a shit about anything. Maybe a bit too concerned with my good looks. I had one hell of an ego, too; easily bruised.”

You try to picture this version of him, and for some reason, find it quite difficult to do. You’re not entirely sure that you believe him. But he seems the honest type.

“You’re right. I would’ve.”

And you would. All the guys could get cocky at times. You were used to such behavior. But when it came down to it, especially in regards to business—in whatever capacity—they all pulled their weight; did what was needed—necessary. They looked out for one another.

He smirks again. “You would’ve definitely been my type, though.”

This statement interests you. You lean in toward him. “How so?”

“Attractive, quiet, mysterious. You don’t seem to care much about what other people think. All around hard-to-get. I loved a good chase. As long as I got to break her in like a wild horse in bed at the end of it all.”

He looks at you then.

He’s only half-right about not caring for others’ opinions. Unless they were in your immediate circle, you didn’t. But if they were? You had no choice but to. They expected that from you—you caring about what they do, say, and think. Men like to feel good about themselves, and a supportive young woman is one way to get that validation that they all seem to crave, even if they’d never admit it.

You’d learned long ago to never emasculate them. Any of them. In any form.

“You’re not breaking anything.” You only half mean it. You still think him quite attractive, if nothing else.

It pleases you to hear that he thinks the same of you. Even if you’re not surprised by it.

“Didn’t say I was,” he replies, crossing his arms.

You cock your head to the side. “So, why change?”

“Once my dad kicked me out, real-life hit, and I knew it was time to grow the hell up; the time for games was over. The attitude I had was never going to get me very far.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then he speaks again. “What do you think of me as I am now?”

You shrug. “You’re okay so far. Definitely still a pretty boy, though.”

He scoffs. “Would a pretty boy have hands like these?” He asks, holding his palms up briefly, before settling them against his thighs.

“I was referring to your face, not your hands.”

He chews the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, well, I’m not that.”

Seems like your comment, for whatever reason, has hit a nerve. “Whatever you say, pretty boy.”

He reaches over, grabbing one of your feet, like yesterday, and tugging your sock off, balling it up, and tossing it across the room before massaging the sole.

“Do you have a foot fetish or something?”

His lip twitches in amusement. “No reason why it can’t benefit you.”

You raise a questioning brow.

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t. It’s called being nice. You should try it some time.”

You slide down the couch, settling your other foot in his lap as well. “Oh, I can be very nice. To the right people. Honestly, you probably wouldn’t even recognize me if you saw me with them.”

You stare down at your hands in your lap then.

The latter-most statement had come off as a tad…sad to him. “Why?”

You look at him. “It’s a long story.”

He shrugs, taking your other foot in his rough hands. “No place else to be.”

You glance to the watch on your wrist, knowing Travis is apparently bringing by another cop today to get him dealt-in on the business. He’d asked last night if you’d be there today. You’d said maybe. Meaning that you don’t have to leave.

He looks at your watch as well, then at you. “Do you?”

Your eyes meet his. “Not technically.”

Ever the enigma to him. Never a straight-forward answer with you. You kept him on his toes and guessing, that much was for certain.

“Are you always this cryptic?”

You shrug. “Trust is earned.”

“Trusted me well enough yesterday.”

You glance to him from under your lashes. “I should’ve never told you any of that. It was a mistake. A stupid thing to do.”

His thumbs move to the ball of your foot. “You don’t need to worry. Your secret is safe with me. Besides, I already told you I don’t have any friends. So, who would I have to tell?”

It’s just a general feeling—same as it was yesterday—that he can be trusted. And that’s an unusual occurrence for you. To meet someone like that.

Like him.

He rolls his head to the side, looking at you.

The warmth in his eyes…it’s not often you see such a sight.

“So, who are ‘the right people’, then? Classmates? Boyfriend?”

You cross your arms, shifting uncomfortably. “Family friends.”

He hums, moving his hands back to your other foot. “Why aren’t you with them now?”

“Are you always this nosy?”

He smirks, moving his fingers to your ankle. “Told you yesterday that I only have a few dozen questions to ask. That I find you fascinating.”

“And what do I get for answering?”

His lip twitches. “Helped you with your homework, didn’t I? Sounds like a give-and-take to me.”

“I was doing just fine before you came along.”

He rests the crook of his neck back against the couch. “I think you needed me.”

“Sounds to me like you still have one hell of an ego.”

He chuckles. “Never said I didn’t, honey.”

You glance to your watch again and sigh.

He looks at you, moving his fingers back to your foot, which you then remove from his lap, standing.

You head across the room to retrieve your sock.

He sits up. “Are you leaving?”

You pad back over to your shoes. “Mhm.”

He’s quiet for a moment, thinking. “Want me to give you a ride home?”

You look up to him after slipping them both on. A strange man bringing you home—especially if Scott or Joe were there, or your dad was in a mood—is most certainly a bad idea.

Even at that, with Travis…things were still new and blooming. You knew he felt special—since the rest of them you’d known for years and years—and taking a new guy to bed so soon had made him believe there was something different about him for you. Seeing you with an unfamiliar, like Billy, would only give him doubt.

“No, thanks. I like walking.”

You pull your backpack on and he stands then.

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

You shrug. Normally, you didn’t come here on the weekends to begin with. But you’d procrastinated your math homework yesterday in favor of reading instead. And then had used the unfinished assignment as an excuse to come back today.

You wonder if he always works weekends as well.

He takes a step closer to you, floorboards creaking.

You stare up at him. “Will you be here tomorrow?”

He smiles. “If you want me to be.”

You don’t entirely know what to say to that. “Do you not have work?”

“I don’t work Sundays. And I only work every-other Saturday. It’s the only reason I’m out here today.”

So next weekend you’d have this place all to yourself from the sounds of it. You now had something to look forward to.

You step past him. “And here I thought you came for me.”

He laughs. “Now who has an ego?”

Once the two of you are on the front porch—you really wanted to begin trying to fix this place up, even just a little; perhaps the furniture upstairs could be put to use—you turn back to him. “What I’m doing tomorrow depends on today. Make of that what you will.”

If Travis’ fiancée was to be at work all night, you knew where you’d be this evening. And if you felt wore-out from it come tomorrow, you most likely would hold off on coming back until Monday after school.

Billy raises a brow. “Think I need more details to make anything of it.”

You stand on tiptoes then and press a soft kiss to his cheek, just like yesterday. Once you’re standing on flat feet again, you look up to him with a smile. “Bye.”

He’s blushing again now—you think it sweet that he’s still capable of doing so; the last man who you’d made blush was Rhett, and that was quite some time ago—and you turn, heading through the field to your right without another word.

Billy shakes his head. “What the fuck have I gotten myself into?”

When you come into the yard, you don’t falter in your steps when you catch sight of Travis and his friend leaned back against Travis’ cruiser—another parked behind it—as they speak to your dad.

You merely glance to them, and the new one—he’s perhaps forty, tall, with dark hair and tanned skin, his strong jawline covered in stubble—looks to you with dark eyes for just a moment. His demeanor is cold, hard, distant. Already he unsettles you.

He breaks the staring contest when he looks back to your dad as you head up the front steps, going inside.

You head to your room, softly shutting the door behind you and slipping off your backpack, setting it on the floor before flopping down face-first on your bed. You smile softly to yourself when you think of Billy’s hands on your feet—such an un-intimate part of the body that he’d made feel the very opposite—and the way he’d blushed when your lips pressed against his warm skin.

You had a crush.

The last time you’d felt such a thing was when you first set eyes upon Scott at eight-years-old. It was now a foreign feeling to you, but nevertheless felt…good. It made you giddy, warm, excited. You bury your face in your pillow and softly squeal, kicking your feet. You should’ve told him yes to tomorrow. You wanted to see him again. You wanted to see him every day.

At what was now your place. You still somewhat wish he’d never found it, but he seemed nice enough so far. Different. And he clearly likes you.

But he liked hard-to-get, had said as much out loud. Most men did.

It was always a careful, delicate balancing act upon a high tightrope you were forced to walk day-in and day-out. Glances and soft touches, giggles and flirtatious comments, precise body-language that could be easily construed one way or the other. But never so distant that it left them frustrated or wholly uncertain of your feelings toward them.

They always needed to believe they were the ones in control. That you might think you know what you’re doing, but in reality, they always have the upper-hand. That they know how to play the game far better than you ever could. Because you’re just a girl. Some pretty, empty-headed doll or sex-toy, while they rule the world. That you need them.

You’re broken from thoughts of golden curls, pretty eyes, and handsome smiles by a knock at your bedroom door.

You groan. Travis. You’re sure it’s him.

You turn onto your side, snuggling the pillow under your head. “Yes?”

When the door opens, you’re proven correct. He leans his tall, broad form against the doorway, crossing his arms. You notice his typically short dirty-blond hair is just a tad shorter today—he’d gotten a haircut. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt, which just says ‘HPD’ on the front, and jeans. At least he’d bothered taking his shoes off first—they all know how you hate them walking through the house with them on.

He gives you a small, soft smile. “Where you been all day?”

You shrug.

He hangs his head, shaking it with a smirk and a small chuckle before looking to you again. “Should come outside and meet Cyrus. I’ve told him a lot about you.”

That translated to: I tell him the things we do when Amy is away at work, and he’s interested in also getting to know you on such a level.

Honestly, you’re a bit surprised he would do so. He’d made a ‘joke’ the last time you two had had sex last week, asking ‘how to get you all to himself’. You’d told him that that’s not how things work around here. If some newbie—a cop in particular—came along and demanded you all to himself suddenly…it would not end well for him.

You sit up then, on the edge of the bed, and just stare up at him.

He glances around your room, then back to you. “She’s out tonight, pulling a double at the hospital. You could come over. I’ll even make you dinner. Spaghetti?”

Having dinner made for you was also different. It was the other way around with the rest of them. But he’s still new at this. Trying to woo you, even if it’s completely unnecessary. You don’t need presents to get you to spread your legs for him.

You doing so easily and willingly is a pivotal part in all of this—your role to play; cross to bear. It was one more thing that kept them all coming back—kept them working with your dad, even if he’s unaware of it. You think sometimes he suspects—he’d nearly caught you and Scott once on your bedroom floor—but he says nothing of it if he does indeed know anything.

If you ever stopped—decided to start telling any of them no—they wouldn’t take kindly to it. They saw you as something they were entitled to, something that belonged to them. And even if they accepted that: you wanting to stop—albeit reluctantly—the business would fall apart.

Having an attractive young woman to fuck whenever, and however they pleased for free with minimal effort put into your so-called ‘relationship’ was something they wouldn’t be getting anywhere else.

You don’t come home covered in bruises or crying, and haven’t gotten…well, as of two weeks ago you could no longer say that. That was the day you’d found the house. You’d never needed it more than in that moment after getting out of Joe’s truck a nervous wreck after leaving the clinic.

But because you always seemed fine, your dad let it go. Sometimes you wish he wouldn’t.

You cock your head to the side. “It’ll be just us?” Will your buddy be there, too? You’re asking.

He smiles again, nodding. “Yeah, baby, just us.”

“Okay.”

He grins. “I can take you home with me when I’m getting ready to leave?”

You stand, readying an overnight bag, incase you need it. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go.”

He comes closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, his other hand tugging gently at the hair at the nape of your neck, easing your head back, his lips coming down to settle over your pulse. He kisses, other hand squeezing your rear and he groans. You feel him pressing into your stomach then, hard and firm.

“I will,” he mutters against your skin, sucking on it for just a moment before stepping back. He winks at you before heading back outside.

You simply roll your eyes once he’s out-of-sight.

[hedgiwithapen]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @mosylufanfic

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Daydreamed a LOT. hated writing. Made up stories in my brain, mostly about Digimon. then, was Chronically Unsupervised for a summer and found Fanfiction.net and went oh heck, I could do that? I could just. write one down??? people would maybe like it?? and then I Did That. at this point I had, you see, decided I Liked Writing Now. (active choice, the way I recently decided that I Like Celery.)

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Uhhhh ok so there's Digimon (technically) and Fablehaven (again, only technically.) Big Hero 6 and then Flash, Young Justice, Supergirl, Stargirl, Avatar, the Librarians, Leverage, Blue Beetle(movie) My Adventures with Superman, Superman and Lois, Legends of Tomorrow, pokemon (game--sapphire) and Agents of Shield. And like. my various RPGs. but a lot of those are like.... just a couple dammit hedgi day ficlets so... shrug?

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction? the first one I ever posted on the internet was in I want to say 2007. but the first one I guess I ever like. actively came up with was a little booklet about an oddish and a jigglypuff escaping team rocket (they were the only pokemon I could draw) and that was back in like. '99. it had aproximately ten words in it so that's more of a fan comic than fanfiction.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I write more than I read, I think, but I read more than I finish, excuding the month of september. DHD is an outleir adn should not be counted.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I can do action and fight scenes now!!!! Also I think I'm better at dialog. I used to be real bad at both those things.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmmmmmm. I mean. I feel like the deep diving into victorian flower language maybe? or like. How Trial By Combat worked in the Age Of Knights? How many calories a kitten with superspeed would need, perhaps. oh wait you know what, it's absolutely more obscure catholic patron saints, which I hardly even used in the fics i was researching them for, but man. did y'all know that St. Jude is also called Thaddeus and that he and St. Bartholomew are co-patron saints of Armenia? there's some kind of Barth Allen and Thaddeus Thawne Joke in there.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

I really like the key smashy "how dare you." ones. also a big fan of the ones where people leave their favorite line and a string of emojis. I love anything that lets me guess how emotional a person got.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

uhhhhh idk. metakitties?

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Long fics that drastically diverge from canon or are big AUs... I run out of roadmap and then worry no one's really going to care. also, just. ship fic in general. So I do not. or I do so rarely and in smaller sections.

10. What is the easiest type?

present tense introspective fics. those just flow.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I mostly use google docs, and I also do a lot of hand writing in a notebook. usually sitting at my little computer desk on my bed, or in the back hall at work, and typically in the afternoon-evening.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

ehhhhhhhh I'm not really like. intimidated by anything that I'm interested in doing? I'm just lazy. lol.

13. What made you choose your username?

Assigned Hedgehog by cubscouts when I was a counselor at a summer camp. It Stuck.

uhhh I tag @windona @pennflinn @wrencatte @thenarator and @parvumautomaton but no pressure but also anyone else who wants to do this.

[loserchildhotpants]

Get to know your fic writer asks please 18-22, 67, 39, 54

fic writer asks

18] Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Titles are my worst enemies. The answer to your question is that it depends on the fic. A monster of a fic i've been writing for a few months now [42k words today and abt halfway through] is STILL untitled, but my ficlet Lost in the Sauce (a food kink prompt fill) was named as I put the first few sentences down lol. What i CAN say is that i have NEVER named a fic BEFORE writing it. Vibes determine too much and i never know what the vibe is gonna be til i start writing slkdfj so i only ever title during or after, and if im unable to come up w something wholly original myself, i use song lyrics bc im basic. Usually tho i like titling my fics after some important or key piece of narration or dialogue from the fic itself, so that u can have that Dicaprio Meme Moment of pointing at your screen

19] What is your most used tag on your AO3?

It appears to be a tie between Mutual Pining and Love Confessions sdkjfhsd

20] Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

oh my fics definitely have recognizable patterns slkdjhffksjdh i think my writing style is a specific flavor and so if u open one of them up, u basically know what you're getting. not that that's a bad thing!

words/expressions -- idk! there's the obvious overuse of 'sigh' 'says' 'glances' -- stuff like that, but that's just the curse of writing so many interpersonal interactions lol tbh im unsure! if anyone wants to call me out on words or expressions i abuse in my fics pls let me know kjdsf

common settings: i am a canon-divergence lover so sets get reused all the time skdjfhsdlkj

themes: living, working through, or succumbing to grief, dealing w fear, finding forgiveness for past selves, reconciling who we are w who we thought we would be, generalized queer panic/denial and other identity crisis issues... uhh... i mean i also like to think im romantic tho sljkdfhsjkldfh

21] Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

I have! This is a recent development! I don't usually collab bc i am fearful of Judgement sjkdfh like i get scared of what people will think of my writing process or how clunky or bad it sounds when it's just a draft -- i don't usually like anyone seeing what i'm writing until it's finished, but i've recently started collaborating a lot w majorly 2 of my friends : ) growth ✨

22] Are there certain types of writing you won't do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

hmmmmmmmmm. years ago i switched from writing Past Tense to Present Tense and i'll never go back lol i LOVE writing in Present Tense. i feel like it adds an element of tension and the feeling that the future is still v malleable.

i don't know that i could write something good in first person POV :T like, i don't have anything against first person POV, i just don't think that's where my skill set lies and my execution of it would probably be really bad and cringe skldjfhfjk lol so i probably won't do that

there's no genre i can think of that i'd be opposed to trying my hand at and that goes for tropes too. there's loads i haven't tried yet, mostly bc they don't like, independently spark inspiration in me, but if given a prompt for it, i'd probably try! there's lots of dead dove topics that'd probably be really fun to write and i just haven't tried yet bc i am Soft and tend towards pining and love confessions skdljfh lol

39] Share a snippet from a WIP

"“Oh — oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to — oh, I always muck this stuff up, that must have been so out of line, I’m so sorry —”

“Samuel,” she interjects gently, her voice practically a whisper, “I don’t know that I’ve ever met someone with a kinder heart. I don’t know that anyone has ever made such a well wish on my behalf. You’ve just startled me is all… you do that.”

Feeling that Rowena crying is very simply, unnaturally wrong, Sam stops resisting the compulsion to touch her and reaches with his free hand across his chest to swipe at the tear near the apple of her cheek.

The tips of his fingers on that hand come in contact with a lock of her hair and the outer shell of her ear, and he gets chills up his arms and back from that alone; Dean was right, he might spontaneously combust at anything more.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he says, though he thinks she already knows that, “I would never mean for that. I had rather hoped to make you smile.”

“You tread carefully now,” Rowena warns him, her lips twitching, eyes shining, “or I’ll steal you for myself, Samuel, like some terrible witch of the woods, and I won’t return you to whatever world you come from.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad to me,” Sam confesses softly, smiling back at her.

For a thrilling moment, he sees Rowena’s eyes gentle, sees her consider him seriously, as if she might just be thinking of him the way he hopes beyond hope she might.

She goes to say something, but —"

54] What's your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

i just love looking at a blorbo and being like 'let's put that guy in a situation.' top tier writing experience. i love taking an established character and really thinking hard abt what i know abt them, whether i want them to grow or i wanna study who they are without forcing evolution, thinking abt how they'd navigate some circumstance or conflict, consider what has already been written for that circumstance or conflict in fandom, and what new interpretation, in my own style, i can bring to the table to offer something new and interesting. it's like taking a beloved recipe of something that can't fail, and just seeing what cool new thing ur own perspectives and styles can do w it!

67] Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

Sort of a mix of both? I love prompts, they send me on Brain Trains (destination: Dissociation Station) and the thing is, i usually stray from hard lines. like, i sometimes work off of being INSPIRED by a prompt rather than following the actual prompt? challenges sometimes scare me off bc once i have a Due By Date my brain will shut off creativity and get frightened lol i really love my independent ideas, but i have my best independent ideas while discussing prompts and challenges w other folks and spinning limbs off that original prompt or challenge until what i want to do is outside the guidelines of that prompt or challenge.

that said, i LOVE getting prompts from anons and stuff. there's something really flattering and happy-making abt someone popping into my inbox to be like 'i'd like to see YOUR specific take on this' ; u ;

anon thank u so much for sending me so many asks!! T A T <333

[kindlythevoid]

1 and 2 for the ask game perhaps?

Oooh, okay!!

I kind of just went off, so in the interest of space:

1. What story (stories?) are you writing rn that you’ll most likely publish next? ∩(´∀`∩)

Hopefully? One of two stories.

The one that I started earlier is my Fallout 4 fic called The Stapinski's, which is my take on a Fallout 4 Minutemen runthrough with Nate and Nora surviving. I know that traditionally in the story Nate was in the military and Nora was a lawyer, so I'm keeping that, except Nate is, like, a surgeon/doctor/medic and Nora has ASPD. It'll mostly be written in a series of snapshots, with one longer intro story and then parts of the main Fallout story that I think would be interesting/changed with these versions of Nate and Nora. However, I'm unlikely to post it until I do another runthrough of Fallout 4 which... idk when it's gonna happen, ha ha!

The second story is my Baby Driver x Fast and Furious crossover fic. There is a chronic lack of Baby Driver fics in general, but especially ones in this crossover, which is devastating. But this one fic had Brian and Debora as siblings and I really just sunk my claws into that concept and started typing away. I don't really have a solid plot, per se?? It's super self-indulgent and takes place after Baby gets out of prison and... at some point in the F&F franchise (probably after the 4th or 5th movie, there are just so many, ha ha!!)... but I'm having fun with a more Debora-centric fic and the interactions between the everyone!! (I also may or may not have stayed up reading an official handbook on classifying prisoners for this fic?? I sincerely doubt it'll affect the plot in any way, but I did and if anyone is curious, it's thought that Baby went to Georgia Diagnostic and Classification State Prison.)

Realistically? The next installment of Rewind, which as of right now is called In Every Stitch and Seam. I am technically still on break, but it wasn't meant to be an indefinite break, oops!! It's just. So Ridiculously Long. This one I am more or less sure of the direction and have a vague notion of what I want each chapter to look like, but writing it has gone... slowly. I'm still working on chapter 6 (out of possibly 21) and I want to be farther in before I start posting so that they don't have too many loose ends if I accidentally drop the ball later on. (Sorry, y'all!!)

But yeah, probably not anything soon. I'd love to keep posting, but, unfortunately for me, nothing is finished, ha ha!

2. What story (stories?) are you writing rn that will most likely linger in your head for an undetermined period of time? (*´▽｀*)

Soooo many stories. I really really want to get around to posting soooo many stories that I have in my docs and my notes app and what-have-you. I really do have so many fics that I haven't posted, it's devastating. (Each one being unashamedly self-indulgent and written so many years ago definitely is not contributed to that, no, not at all.)

I'll focus on written stories instead of just story ideas... I have a few Assassin's Creed ficlets that may never see the light of day. One's, like, a Hallmark AU fic?? With light undertones of mafia?? It's soooo olddd, smhhhh. (∩∀`)/ There's also, like, a genuine songfic that I wrote forever ago. That I could absolutely be persuaded to post, but it's part of a series and the rest of the series wasn't finished and at this rate probably never will be.

This really just descended into early cringe me, but back in the day when I first started reading fanfics, I would notice the billion and one fandoms tagged in a single fic, never read them, but assume that somehow?? they were including each of them in a coherent story??? or something?? (Tbf, I think some of them were, and kudos to everyone who was able to do it, but for the most part I'm pretty sure they were just requests or something) Anyway, so lil ol' me decided to do something like that, too. And the best way I could think of this, for some reason, was to put all my fandoms, each and every one, in a single neighborhood. Each fandom had a house, everyone had a backstory, there were multiple stories detailing the history of each house and one story about my "latest" fandom moving in. I kept track of literal hundreds of characters as people in every day jobs in the town. It was insane. I still pass by it in my docs sometimes and smh. In conclusion, no, this will never see the light of day.

Okay, that was a lot, but absolutely why I made this game, so thank you so much for asking!!

Kindly,

The Void

[ismisevy]

Léodagan en a marre de ne pas comprendre sa femme.

Séli fait des efforts pour apprendre la langue commune le plus vite possible mais ça ne suffit pas, leurs soirées silencieuses et leurs quelques tentatives de conversations infructueuses le frustrent au quotidien. Ils n'ont heureusement pas besoin de mots pour tout, il peut l'emmener se balader à cheval à travers le royaume sans qu'un son soit échangé, son sourire suffit à lui faire comprendre quand elle est heureuse et sa femme peut bien gémir en picte le soir venu, là il n'a étonnamment pas besoin d'interprète pour comprendre le message. Mais pour ce qui est des dîners ou des moments passés en tête à tête sans avoir rien d'autre à faire, le silence devient de plus en plus pesant. Il voit bien que sa femme aussi est gênée, de son côté non seulement elle ne comprend pas son mari mais elle ne comprend pas non plus ni son beau père, ni ses suivantes, ni personne dans le château à vrai dire et elle ne peut pas décemment demander un interprète à chaque fois qu'elle aimerait qu'on lui passe le sel.

Un soir le jeune couple est assis dans son lit, Léodagan un manuel sur les armes de jets à la main et Séli fixant le plafond en silence : évidemment, elle ne comprend aucun des livres disponibles au manoir. On lui a bien proposé d'en faire commander quelque uns aux pictes mais pour une raison qui lui échappe elle a refusé. Ou alors elle n'a pas compris ce qu'on lui proposait, possible aussi. Léodagan jette un oeil vers elle de temps en temps, entre deux chapitres, et plus les minutes passent plus il trouve la situation ridicule. Soudain il abaisse son livre et pointe le chevet à sa femme qui, le remarquant, se met à regarder dans la même direction.

"Vous pouvez me passer le marque page qu'est sur la table là ?"

Séli attrape le machin que son mari semble pointer et se tourne vers lui.

"Tu veux ça ?"

Léodagan ne la reprend pas sur le vouvoiement, dire tu à l'air plus facile pour elle et il le cache bien mais il trouve ça presque adorable.

"Oui, je veux ça."

Elle sourit et lui donne, contente d'avoir compris sa première phrase de la journée.

Léodagan place le marque page dans son manuel et marque une pause avant de montrer la couverture à sa femme en pointant le titre.

"Y'a écrit quoi là ?"

Séli fronce les sourcils, hyper concentrée.

"Aaarmé-dé-j-j..jettes"

"C'est.. presque ça. Arme. De. Jets."

".. Armdéjé ?"

".. on va dire que c'est assez proche."

Séli sent bien qu'elle s'est de nouveau planté et soupire, elle se recouche dos à son mari en lançant une injure picte dans le vide. Elle aussi ça commence à l'emmerder comme situation, elle déteste plus que tout au monde se sentir vulnérable et qu'y a t il de plus vulnérable qu'une personne qui ne comprend rien de son environnement, ni de ce qu'on lui raconte à longueur de journée. Elle sent son mari quitter le lit et ça a le don de la mettre encore plus sur les nerfs, c'est déjà assez de se sentir bête soi-même, elle n'a pas besoin que Léodagan se mette à le penser aussi.

Elle ne l'entends pas revenir et sursaute quand un bras encercle sa taille et qu'une voix s'approche de son visage.

"Venez là."

Il la force un peu à se retourner vers lui et lui présente un livre qu'il tient dans la main. Séli remarque bien que ce n'est pas celui de tout à l'heure, il est bien plus gros et surtout bien mieux relié. Il ramène sa femme contre lui et ouvre le livre au dessus de leurs visages : c'est un roman que Léodagan est parti chercher dans la bibliothèque. Il déteste ce genre de bouquins mais il sait que pour apprendre la langue c'est ce qu'il y a de plus efficace, alors il décide de faire un effort, pour elle.

Séli en a déjà marre, découragée d'avance mais Léodagan l'encourage, il lui montre les mots et lui dit comment les prononcer et recommence jusqu'à ce que Séli ai juste. Elle se prend au jeu et essaie de deviner le sens des phrases et quand elle bloque il essaie d'expliquer avec des mots plus simple ou même des mimes qui ne manquent pas de faire éclater de rire la picte. Il se met à l'embrasser dès qu'elle donne une réponse juste, ce qui a l'air de bien motiver cette dernière qui répond à ces baisers en riant, plus déterminée que jamais. Très vite il y a plus de baisers qu'il n'y a de phrases bien prononcées et le livre fini délaissé par les deux amants à l'autre bout de la couette.

Après cette nuit, on dit que Séli se mit à apprendre la langue à une vitesse impressionante grâces aux leçons privées de Léodagan.

[chaos-monkeyy]

Can I respond to you little fandom rant?

In all honesty I used to be one of *those* assholes. I used to look down on short fics, see them and be all like, "blah did they even put effort into this?? It's so shot that's barely a thing why bother." But you know what happened, I fell off my fucking high horse because I actually started reading shorter fics! And like how he hell do people cram so much passion, emotion, story, hotness, into so few words! That in and of its self is a talent! Its like fucking poetry man!

Fandom can be great but it's also sadly a hellhole at times and that is just fucking sad because we are a God damn community and should act like it! Why is the mentality of respect peoples works, write what you like, don't read what you don't like so freaking hard to wrap your head around?

Just be happy and grateful for the content you enjoy and ignor the stuff you don't enjoy. Simple as that. So any way as a reformed asshole that used to look down on drabble/ficlet writers, I would like to apologize for all the idiotic tomfuckery.

Ps. Your works are great, and please never fell guilty for not reading something. Fics shouldn't cause stress and anxiety they are for fun and relaxation. Assuming your friends are good people I'm sure they would agree!

Yeah I find it easy to tell other people I never expect them to read my fic, but a whole lot harder not to feel guilty for not reading All of the Things myself 😂🙈

Anyway I'm too tired to get my thoughts in very good order today (I probably should know better than to reblog while angry, but I can't say I really regret it either 😅)... but that's the thing, innit. I don't care if people don't want to read short fics, or long fics, they're allowed to have preferences! And like everything else, nobody needs to justify those preferences to anyone.

It's when I start seeing those personal preferences touted as Better Than or Worse Than that I get upset. I don't think I've met a single fic writer who doesn't get anxious about whether their fic is good enough on every possible front, and fic length is no exception. I've seen people who write longer works go "ugh I just wish I could write something short for once, how do they do it??", and I've seen people who write shorter things go "Idk if I should even post this, it's not long enough and I'll just clog the tag".

In about a single week's span of time, I saw one writer friend get an anon ask from someone who was apparently annoyed at how much time they "wasted" reading part of their incredibly epic beast of a longfic; and then I see another writer friend get an anon telling them they shouldn't write so much short fic cause longer stuff is better. Short and long works are different things. Neither one is inherently better or reflects more talent than the other, they use different skills. And the great thing about fandom is that there is a place for all of it, and there is stuff out there for all different preferences.

But fic writers already tend to be, on the whole, little bundles of constant anxiety about our writing. Seeing flippantly dismissive or downright mean comments about the type of writing we do is enough to bring anyone down, particular on an already-bad day / week / month / year.

So anyway... idk if any of that made sense, but thank you for the response 💙 And I'm glad you found that you do like short fics as well!

[lilolilyr]

Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D

Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol

Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!

Personal post - do not reblog

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!

Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  

Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm

Edit: 203 unread now

But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending

Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They're all happy???!?

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ahahahahahhahahaahaha

Check this out

I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10

Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be

Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Check out my rated E and rated M in my works

Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past

Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh

PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D

Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose!!!

Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately

All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind

I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...

And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol

Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing one-shots quickly in one go

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)

I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.

Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this

Questions to copy:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

~hello~ !! For the meta asks!: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, and 25 :))

Hello!! Thank you for sending these; I was really excited to see that ask game and I was hoping somebody would send some in. It still took me a while to actually answer them though, and for that I apologise. But without further ado! Some meta answers (under the cut because they ended up being fairly long, whoops):

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (Consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway.)

I thought of a few examples, but they could basically be grouped together under a common theme: whumpy/angsty scenes that were self-indulgent as all heck. The whole self-indulgent aspect often required the characters to be just the teeniest, tiniest bit OOC and/or necessitated rather unrealistic plot circumstances. So it was simply easier to keep such scenes as maladaptive daydreams, rather than trying to think of explanations for the character/plot issues…or exposing myself to judgement for them LOL.

Receiving permission to write/share one such scene anyway is an opportunity I can’t let slip by though. It might be because I’m writing this while running on zero (0) hours of sleep—let’s hear it for insomnia, y’all!—but I suddenly couldn’t remember any of my newer ideas under this category. However, I did recall a one-shot I had started writing a couple of months ago that sort of counts? “Sort of” because I could actually be arsed to write it since I was, ya know, writing it. Only got about six hundred words down though.

…should I share those six hundred words…?

………nahhh. I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.

But here’s the gist of it: Coulson and May (because of course it’s Philinda) were married for quite some time before the Attack on New York. But then Coulson DiedTM and then got ResurrectedTM. But gasp of horror, he had to lose his memories of his romantic relationship with May because reasons. (I actually did have some ideas for those reasons but sshhhh this is about me yeeting context and setup.)

The first half of S1 still happens as normal (except MayWard doesn’t happen because??? Vows) and it’s now post-E20 “Nothing Personal”. The morning after (or a morning soon after, whatever) the T.A.H.I.T.I. reveal! May’s mom—who doesn’t know about GH.325 and whom May fed a cover story about Coulson divorcing her or something equally as oof, IDK—shows up at the hotel and starts ripping into Coulson for breaking her daughter’s heart, then dragging her back into the field with her ex-husband (him), then accusing her of terrible things and forcing her away again.

Poor guy’s confused as heck, and so is the team, and soon enough so is Lian. The only one who understands what’s going on is May, and she’s freaking dying off to the side like why is this happening to me and eventually everybody’s like! Explain??? (Was thinking about including something from Coulson like, “Are you still keeping things from me?” Just for that extra smidge of angst, yay!)

So yeah then May gives a, like, two-sentence debriefing that elicits more questions than answers. Coulson decides to take May aside and they have a heart-to-heart. Lots of feelings and angst and hurt/comfort and at some point plenty of kissing too. Just! May hiding her feelings for Coulson’s sake but really magnified, plus some actual apologies and consideration of the grief May’s been through on Coulson’s part.

And uhh yeah that’s basically it I dunno hdsjncjshd. I warned y’all it’s OOC, plot-bendy, and very self-indulgent!

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I don’t think I could name a single character for this. I get different things out of taking on different voices, you know? I guess recently I’ve found myself gravitating towards more taciturn and introspective points of view, like JQ from my original novel Rosewood or M. Yisbon from my…other original novel Temple.

Generally, however, I like tackling stories from an outsider’s perspective. That’s why I so rarely write my more “substantial” (serious? demanding? for lack of better words?) projects from the PoV of my “preferred” character. This usually means writing from their love interest’s perspective, but not always. With shorter fanfic, using a more removed/unconventional/niche PoV can be really fun. Like, I once wrote a canon compliant ficlet purely(-ish) about Philinda from Tony Stark’s perspective. That isn’t always sustainable with stories that demand more character development or closer character studies, however, which is why it’s a good thing I like writing drabbles!

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

My word counts tend to run long, but I usually only write one-shots for fanfic. If I’m even inspired with a novella- or novel-length story idea for a fandom, you already know I’m in deep with them. And if I actually find the motivation to plan and execute that idea? Dangg. That’s only ever happened…twice, maybe thrice, and I’m in a lot of fandoms.

At times, I wish I could go for more of a middle ground ’cause, like, you know what I love to see? An AO3 dashboard with several completed novellas for my ship/character of choice. I mean yes, I hecking love >90k fics, but sometimes I’m in the mood for quick reads…and what am I supposed to do when I burn through all the drabbles and 2k one-shots? (Besides despair and/or reread my faves desperately.) Novellas are basically always safe for me LOL, and I’d hope to be able to give as much as I take.

Ultimately though, I think I’m okay with where I am with regards to that. I wish I could write more in general, but I’d be okay with “writing more” just meaning “writing more one-shots”, ya know? More than okay, really. I have mad respect for fic writers who have, like, a hundred or more one-shots under their belt for this one ship. The fandom ecosystem would be incomplete without them (as well as every other type of writer, but sshhh that’s the type of writer I’m closest to being right now).

I’m definitely a plotter, and I definitely prefer it that way. It’s cool having such a detailed record of my process. I like feeling like a frazzled genius on the brink of a major discovery with all of my different outlines and colour coding and many drafts and various websites.

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Not exactly. It might be cool if my original works were recognisable in the world, but I don’t think I’d want to be recognisable. As for fanfic, I’d low-key enjoy gaining a place in that fandom’s community as a fic writer. Like someone who gave and got fic gifts from fic writer friends, who participated in challenges and GCs, who received writing prompts on Tumblr, whose name was known for doing a certain trope/genre a bunch of times… Ya know what I mean?

Unlikely to happen when I’m so hecking hesitant to publicly (i.e., outside of AO3) claim credit for my writing, but fjnskfsjhfjs. A writer can dream, right?

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Of those three, tags are the easiest for me, for I have a reliable system for figuring out those.

Next easiest would probably be titles. For fanfiction, I like to use titles that are a quote from the source material. You should have seen all of my old Hamilton fanfic… I was really proud of some of those titles. And I don’t mean, like, whole lines—usually only two to five words. It’s a unique type of wordplay that I just love dabbling in.

And lastly, summaries. Sometimes inspiration strikes me and a snappy and intriguing synopsis just jumps out—one that I’m quietly pleased with—but most of the time I’ll spend way too long trying to think of such a synopsis and eventually just go with whatever I’d come up with so far. And live with my quiet dissatisfaction for the rest of time.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (Plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations...?) Tell us about them!

Typically, no. If I have deleted scenes, I save and publish them separately, but that’s about it. I sometimes think of AUs for my own work and might talk about them in my author’s notes—might even talk about writing them—but I never really do anything with them.

Although…

It’s not uncommon for me to decide a plotline isn’t working for a certain story or to think of an interesting but undoable arc for a certain character, but what I’ll do is make a whole new story for those ideas. Once I’m done developing the original idea and the branched-off one, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell they grew from the same roots. Does that count?

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as (film, webcomic, animated series, etc.)?

That depends on the story. I’ve actually written stories in other mediums—movie screenplay, musical stageplay, poetry, TV show scripts, play scripts, roleplay—but the novel does tend to be my comfort zone. Sometimes, if I have an idea that I think could work, or would even work better, as another medium, I’ll label it as such in my folder of ideas and decide not to write it as a novel.

Most of the time, my non-book projects are collaborations. I’m working with five different people on six different story ideas: two webcomics, one stage musical, one anime, and two animated TV shows. Little concrete progress has been made in any of those, mind you, but they’re still fun to discuss!

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Absolutely. But I’ve been writing stories since I was five years old, so we would hope so, huh?

I wouldn’t say my writing’s changed completely, though maybe that’s just my insider’s perspective.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Oh gosh, I can’t believe you’d make me choose. Writing is just such a wonderful experience for me; I love just about everything to do with it. Admittedly, not all the time, but. Since that barely qualifies as an answer, however, I’ll give you this—

The endings. Not only that intense feeling of rightness when you wrap up that last sentence, but also the moments before. The adrenaline of knowing you’re almost there but you gotta push just a bit more to actually get there. And also the part right after—the real wrap-up, honestly: the revision and the editing. Heavens, I love revising and editing my work.

Which is not to say I don’t like writing it out for the first time, too—there’s nothing quite like seeing your cursor scroll to the next page, like going from a blank expanse to a Oh man, how many more lines are even going to fit on this page?, like watching that page counter tick up another number. However, there’s something cathartic about finally ironing out those problems I had to force myself to stop worrying about earlier because “just finish the first draft dangit”.

I guess that’s not really the end of the writing process, but whatever. Close enough (as fic writers are wont to say).

Another thank-you for these asks, and feel free to come back with more at any time! ;P

Send in fun meta asks for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[faejilly]

author interview

tagged by @twistedsinews tagging: anyone who wants to blame me! (also, uh... no pressure: @junemermaid @jadesabre301 @firstaudrina @fancytrinkets @laughingmagnus)

Name

jilly

Fandoms:

Shadowhunters is most active atm, but historically also BioWare (Mass Effect/Dragon age) and whatever catches my eye re: Yuletide or the occassional gifty-prompt-fill-type-thing

Where You Post:

AO3, and I try to cross-post here on tumblr and on twitter (and occasionally I even think to mention a thing in a discord server or two?)

Most Popular One-Shot:

By hits/kudos, two are halves of one

By comments/bookmarks, i cannot touch because they are too near

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

Finished (tho only about 22k words, so it’s still not really long-fic for all it’s not a one-shot either): with an if in its soul

WIP: I am for you

Favorite Story You Wrote:

fAV0riTe?!

that’s an impossible nebulous criterion wtf

uh

today I am going to pick out of some dreaming tree

Because Fairy Tales! (In tone, not specifics.)

There’s a plot! (Said plot is a quest and very straightforward, but still!)

(because a dash of speculative metaphysics!)

BECAUSE THERE’S A FOREST THAT (sometimes) EATS PEOPLE! Or Demons. And stuff?

Romance and sex magic! Flirting over weird magical investigations! (My favorite lady Cat makes tea!) It was for a BANG. It’s the only Bang-Fic I’ve ever finished! It has pretty art!

It’s a good story, y’all should give it a try. (Even if I haven’t sucked you into watching the joyfully sincere trash-fire that is Shadowhunters. It’s Very AU! It stands alone whether you know the SH canon or not!)

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

known subjects because that is a heck of a niche fic, it’s about an OC designed to fit the fusion setting (Criminal Minds’ BAU) rather than the fandom the other characters are from (Shadowhunters), it’s an outsider POV of the main ship rather than being about said ship... It is basically five steps sideways from all the things that usually attract readers but wow, am I ever so glad I wrote it and posted it anyways.

I love Fuller. I may very well stick him into my actual-Shadowhunters-canon fic as a background character some day. <3

How You Choose Your Titles:

For Malec I cruise my way through my e.e. cummings complete poems book until I find a thing I like and then I poke at it ‘til a line falls out

For everything else I reference the canon or do something relatively literal, an emotion or an event or a description of the main character. Sometimes I grab someone else’s poetry or song lyrics! (I like things besides cummings, who knew. Me. I knew.)

/I’m bad at titles, y’all. SO BAD. Sometimes I get an AO3 email and don’t recognize my own title and have to click the link to figure out what fic someone liked. I honestly have no idea why anyone ever clicks on my fic, I am not good at selling them 😅

Complete:

Uh. Published? I have 104 completed fics on AO3!

(Excluding fanmixes (because not fic!) & ficlet collections, because counting those/their chapters gets REALLY WEIRD AND EXCESSIVE VERY QUICKLY.)

In-complete:

(published, and again excluding ficlet collections because those are both always finished and yet potentially never done)

FOUR:

12 Moons is an old DA2 game prequel fic that will never ever get any more but a few people seemed to quite like so I haven’t taken it down.

Persephone Rising is a Mass Effect collaborative fic, and my two co-authors and I just cannot seem to line up for writing together again, so it probably won’t ever get any more, but you never know. Life is weird. It could happen.

Next is if broken hearts were whole, (Malec soulmarks fic!) which I am still working on but I’m not going to post again until it’s all done. (To avoid more things like those first two.)

And last is i am for you, my epistolary!fluff fic! I posted a chapter for it last week and it’s actually pretty close to the end? Should only be a couple more chapters, I just have to, you know, actually write them.

Do You Outline:

I wish. So much no.

Coming Soon / Not Yet Started:

More Clizzy post-canon fic. It appears to be turning into ficlets rather than a long-fic, but IDK, we’ll see what happens.

I also have a wing!fic that is remarkably about politics more than wings, some relationship reconciliation/Pandemonium Porn, a s3 retelling/sequel to with an if in its soul, mer!Alec sequels, priest!kink, a weird mafia/procedural/omegaverse thing that was SUPPOSED to be a sex!farce and isn’t cooperating, a Practical Magic thing I want to do for Halloween and MANY MANY Shadowhunters CODAS/FICLETS.

And maybe some day I’ll dig the Persuasion!AU or the pro-bono-porn or the sequel to out of some dreaming tree out of the archive and try them again. Or some #7kpp fic, or the Code: Realize and Scarecrow & Mrs. King epilogues I started!

My brain is full of possibilities. I don’t actually finish a lot of them though, clearly. 😳😅🙃

Do You Accept Prompts:

Yes. I may not fill them, but I am never unhappy to receive them. <3

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write

Malec Arranged Marriage AU. I did a twitter thread on why I like this particular trope, like, literally two years ago and then I tried to write it for the 3b countdown thing but realized very quickly that it was going to be MUCH TOO BIG to finish in time, and started something else (Pandemonium Porn iirc?) which also didn’t cooperate, and then I finally managed i cannot touch because they are too near instead! And now I��ve pulled the Arranged Marriage back out for the @wipbigbang​ this year so HOPEFULLY YOU WILL ALL SEE IT AT LAST IN AUGUST.

[fallingin-like]

an aftg fanfic appreciation post

the other day at work i saw something about fanfiction writer appreciation day and told myself “ah i will make a post when i get home” and immediately Did Not Do That. so i’m doing it now! first, thank you to everyone who writes fanfiction! it’s such an honour to be able to read your writing and i am so grateful to the writers who spend so much time and effort into creating these stories. i do not deserve such amazing content and yet i have it. also thanks to nora for this wonderful series which has changed my life in so many ways. 

these are in no particular order. i really tried to tone down my ‘i love you so much and really want to be friends with you’ vibe but i don’t think it worked. this is a super long post and i still didn’t get to say everything i wanted to.

some  fics/series that need more love (aka they have under 350 kudos)

to the south by Morcai - this is a series (never to be caught and secret, safe, close to the door) that was really cool to read. it has elements of the Iskryne Series which i don’t know anything about, but apparently has to do with bondwolves. basically, neil has a wolfbrother who he can speak to telepathically which is written in a really unique way, through interesting phrases and scent-based nicknames for people. i’ve never read anything like these fics and i adore them

all that we see or seem by rorschachs - an inception au. need i say more? this fic flows well, has good use of flashbacks, and an amazing ending. it’s ~23,000 words but feels like much less due to nice pacing and an interesting take on this au

Travelers by @sunrise-and-death ​ - a series (Placeless Destination and Moving Towards) that’s a soulmate au. soulmates can interact through a pyschic bond that allows it to seem like the other person is there with them. neil and andrew meet when they are young and it’s so interesting seeing them get to know each other at this age. we also get to see some neil/mary angst and all of the terrible things happen to andrew. an intense series that manages to feel light-hearted at the same time. the second fic in this series is incomplete

atlas by @purearcticfire ​ / @pipedream-truths ​ - a magic au that features shapeshifters and a cursed neil, so immediately you know i’ll like it. this fic has some cool uses of italics, caps, spacing, etc. that creates a stylized story that helps build tone and gives the story a clearer voice. unfortunately, i can’t tell too much detail about my favourite parts because it they are *ultra spoilers* so i’ll just say, it gets so intense at the end. just trust me about this. ao3 says it’s incomplete (4/5 chapters) but it seems complete to me. also, at ~72,000 words, it’s a pretty hefty fic

Golden Keys and Gray Lines by @wouldyoulightmycandle ​ - just a feel-good post-canon fic that involves a road trip, an ice cream museum, and a bit of Working Through Rough Times. super cute! this fic is incomplete

some authors i just really love and appreciate (you probably already know them and if you don’t then idk what you’re doing)

all of these writers have serious talent that make it look easy to write fanfiction. it’s not easy. you guys have all of my love. all of it.

@nakasomethingkun ​ /  ephemeralsky - basically i just see their name and automatically click the fic without bothering to fully read the tags or summary. they have never let me down and i adore the way they write. everything they write is an easy read and i always come back to their fics. i was going to mention my favourites and then i realized i was going to list everything they’ve written for aftg and i’m not even kidding. funny, angst, fluff, everything you could want in a fic they have it. so so good i actually don’t know how to describe it. their fics break my heart and then put it back together a little bit different so that even after i am finished reading and continue with the rest of my life, i feel different. they make me hurt in a way i didn’t know that i could like. this quality of fic has me scrolling back to the top to reread it the second i finish. what in the world they’re so good.

@annawrites ​ / moonix - 50 aftg fics. that’s actually crazy. and all of them are so high quality and there is such a variety. flower shop/tattoo parlor au? one of my favourite series ever. high school au? of course it includes 4 fully complete fics. shapeshifter au? amazingly done. scott pilgrim vs the world au? so good that i went out and watched the movie for the first time (i am not even joking). i was looking through all the fics and just started rereading them, i just can’t help myself. they describe everything in a way that makes their stories unique, but doesn’t seem like they’re trying too hard. or at all. their fics flow so well and every sentence is a gem. i read and reread so carefully to make sure i don’t miss a thing, but always find myself catching new jokes and quirks.

@lolainslackss ​ / lolainslackss - i really don’t know where to start. once again, i just really love all of their fics. i started scrolling through their works too see if i had a favourite and could not even choose a top 5. their writing is so beautiful i can’t get enough. they always choose the best things to include. selective mutism and sign language? that’s a sure way into my heart. the suit shop au is adorable and pining andrew really is best andrew. i found exycast surprisingly late in my fanfiction reading and that is a real tragedy because it’s amazing and really cute. the soulmate timer fic is an old favourite and if i’m looking for angst, i know i can pull it up.

@gluupor ​ / gluupor - an absolute legend. with 54 fics for aftg, it’s amazing that all of them are outrageously funny, entertaining, and just really well written. a lot of them are fics adapted as an au for other fandoms (like their super popular brooklyn 99 au that i absolutely adore) and they are all hilarious. it’s so fun to search for familiar quotes or realize how similar characters from different fandoms are to the foxes and the quirks they share. these are fics that will definitely cheer you up. i love their sense of humour, it fits the characters so well and helps to shape the world they’re writing in. it’s always exciting to see them publish a new fic.

@idnis ​ / idnis - they have a really unique writing style, i’ve never seen anything like it in this fandom. every story has so much care and love in it that’s evident through the small details that you only pick up through rereading. their stories are stylized with spaces and formatting that help guide the reader and adds to the tone of their stories. i fell so in love with their cat!neil. they write such interesting stories, have original plots, and their fics read like poetry. before you know it, you’ve finished the fic without realising you should have gone to bed an hour ago. they also have some amazing original work that everyone should go check out!

@badacts ​ / badacts - so recently a lot of their fics were made visible to ao3 users only (a shame in my opinion) so if you haven’t read their fics, go make an account! or log into your account! you really don’t want to miss these fics. they have a kid fic where both andrew and neil are baby versions of themselves so it’s obviously one of the best things ever. they who made you/they made me too is so good even the title is enough to make me feel. there’s introspection and realization and it’s from aaron’s perspective. i love seeing the twinyards bond. and, of course we have to mention the terra firma series because i love injured!neil and this one hits me in a different way. i love the way the abrupt transition into injury for neil and being able to experience the confusion and not knowing what’s happening with him.

iaquilam - they have posted 2 fics for aftg and they are some of my favourites in this fandom. this has amazing characterization, neil and andrew and everyone feel so real and so true and i love them. a mouthy, raven neil is one of the best types of neil. they write from andrew’s perspective and i cannot believe have well they capture him and his thoughts. quotes that have stuck with me “there’s more than one way of getting what you want”, “’he hurts,’ kevin says. ‘it hurts”, “you will be afraid and you will do it anyway”, and “to keep living. until i don’t”. also i think that andrew with synesthesia in where everything is good fits so perfectly. the idea that andrew has something so unique ahh i love. “your voice was the first blue one i ever saw” makes everything around me go quiet.

@jemejem ​ / jemejem - first of all i am really loving the radio show ficlet that’s being posted on tumblr. i’m a sucker for breakup fics, especially cheating fics (because i need angst) so only was the find of the century. it’s a fic where no matter how many times i’ve read it, i still feel gutted and achy reading it. their recent fic, the sound, was really interesting and i loved the later chapters so much but can’t share because of *spoilers*

undertow - okay so they also only have 2 aftg fics but oh my goodness they are so good. tenuous is one of my most reread fics, i love the concept, interactions between all the characters, how i feel like i’m there with them, and their descriptions. one of my favourite lines are “The sink turns on; water smacks against the bottom of its metallic basin. It feels—well. It just feels.” ugh i don’t know why i like it so much i just do. it fits so perfectly. and i can totally imagine kevin and neil being super petty in their love song writing, this fic is such a contrast to the other one and yet still so good.

@broship-addict ​ / broship_addict - kid!au! oh my goodness ice cream au! ahh they’re so good at writing cute fluff that has such good characterization that they’ve adapted perfectly into whatever au they have written. and at the same time impulse hit me in a different kind of way. what a joy to read, i love witnessing the ways that andrew and neil come together in all of their fics. also i really can’t not mention their amazing artwork. so grateful to have them contributing so much to this fandom

@unkingly / vicariously kingly - bless these fics. i don’t know anyone that doesn’t love a good de-aged neil fic and this really does The Most for that trope. also can i just say that callboy!neil was a thing i didn’t know i needed in my life but now i don’t know how i lived without it. also mermaid!neil?? yes please. i adore the way they write andriel. their fics are angsty and never fail to make me feel something, often a little bit raw in a good way. latchkey child wrecked me. i felt like i had been scraped clean and felt a little bit off for the remaining night and day after. Say Golden, Pony Boy was eerie and just the right amount of mysterious. i was left feeling unsettled in my own home. these fics have delightful endings that leave you satisfied and yet wanting more all the same

@spanglebangle / spanglebangle - i really really cannot get over sunshine and moonlight. it’s such a soft version of neil and andrew’s relationship, i love the direction that was taken and how the boys grew and the changes because they found each other. i love the quote “you like the big gestures and ridiculous things i say. i’m in your head, remember, i know it makes you feel wanted” fox!neil is really so adorable and pure, but also feisty and protective and funny. i would love to see more of this fic. also the elementary au is everything to me. there’s a lot of content and it keeps me interested, but i especially love the later chapters with everything surrounding neil and then even later with andrew wrestling with his feelings. so well written.

@hopingforcoordinates ​ / crazy_like_a - if you haven’t read their fics then ?? i really don’t know what to say since they wrote 3 of the top 5 fics with the most kudos in this fandom. and if you have read their work then we both know why they are being mentioned. i have fallen in love with their take on raven!neil. their writing style feels so simple and natural, which is a real talent. if you’re looking for a more explicit post-canon fic, then lessons is great, just make sure nobody is reading over your shoulder hah

@fuzzballsheltiepants ​ / fuzzballsheltiepants - the iconic a mewment like this series is so funny, sweet, and angsty and features The Cats which is always a good sign. in particular, i loved the conversation about mark rothko and all of the art they looked at in the 6th fic. i don’t know what counts as spoilers so i’ll say thank goodness for neil ‘oblivious’ josten, trivia nights, and the good bad jokes that made this series such an enjoyable read. similarly, you can’t go wrong with the angst that’s sure to come with a fic where andrew gets hurt and doesn’t remember who neil is. or at least, this fic definitely went the opposite of wrong. 

and i really cannot make this post without mentioning the mind-blowing collabs of lolainslackss and moonix to create dating & other disasters and of moonix and gluupor to write No Place Like Home (incomplete). i literally don’t even have words for how excited i was for when i heard of these fics. these collabs are too powerful for this world and if you haven’t read them then i guess you don’t want to enjoy yourself.

as well, additional thanks from this little ace baby to everyone who writes ace!neil or demi!neil. you guys have a special place in my heart.

i tried to find everyone’s tumblr but obviously didn’t succeed. please tag them if i missed them or tagged the wrong account. thanks! i also did not take the time to research pronouns/names so i refer to everyone as ‘they/them’. i know some of the right pronouns/names but it felt wrong to have some of them and not the rest. some of my comments might seem incoherent or repetitive. my apologies for all of this.

also if you go to my ao3 and see that it’s a little bare/notice that i never comment just know that it’s because i am *ultra lazy* and most of the time i cannot be bothered to log into my account. probably commented as raelle instead. or just ‘a’ because i really am That Lazy. or i’m planning on writing an essay for your fic but haven’t gotten around to it and i’m just drafting it in my head every time i reread.

[seblainersboners]

Hello yes this is my first Gallavich ficlet and I'm so excited to share it. I have a series of filler or fix-it type fics for season 10 and I'm looking forward to sharing them all with you! A huge thank you to LuckyShaz for beta-reading this fic!!

Long story, ends in I love you (2453 words) by fuckinggallagher Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shameless (US) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich Characters: Ian Gallagher, Mickey Milkovich Additional Tags: Smut, Fix-It of Sorts, 10x6 fix-it, Boys In Love, filler fic, 10x6 filler fic, Romance, Angst, idk a little of everything, i just had feels, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Boys reunited, Canon-Compliant, Gallavich, Season/Series 10 Series: Part 1 of Filler Fics Summary:

"Ian stared at Mickey and chuckled. There really wasn't anything Mickey could do that would surprise him. Not after all this time. After all these years." A little filler or fix-it fic for 10x6 "Adios Gringos" because goddamnit why are their scenes always cut.

[timelordthirteen]

Popular Fic - OUAT Edition

Tagged by the lovely @thatravenclawbitch, @emospritelet, and @thescholarlystrumpet 

What are your five most popular works by kudos? (in descending order)

1. Bragging Rights Kudos: 290 Rumbelle non-magical AU: Based on this prompt from Tumblr: After having sex Mr. Gold excuses himself to the restroom. When he's out of the room Belle quickly calls Ruby & raves on about how fantastic Mr. Gold is in bed. Belle does not realize that Gold is hearing the whole conversation. It started as a one-shot but because of the efforts of a delightful Anon, who is one of my favorite unknown people ever, and a few others, it is now multiple chapters of the smutty shenanigans and relationship development of two awkward idiots.

2. Working Out Kudos: 281 Rumbelle non-magical AU: Mr. Gold, hopelessly in love with Belle French, the town librarian, overhears a conversation between her Ruby about the appeal of well muscled, beefy men. Misinterpreting that this is Belle's type of man, he joins the local gym to work out. Rather unsuccessfully. AKA The Rumbelle Gym fic. AKA the silly idea that could. I am forever surprised by how much love this fic got, but also completely delighted. It’s now part of a series only because I have received so many asks and prompts that spawned tons of ficlets that it all had to have a home. Working Out is the primary fic, but Intervals is the sometimes naughty collection of all the other stuff. I really do plan to finish this thing this year. I swear it.

3. Upon Reflection Kudos: 245 Rumbelle non-magical AU: Boss!Gold and assistant!Belle go on a business trip, only to find that there is only one room and they have to share a bed. With mirrors on the ceiling. Written for a-monthly-rumbelling, I shoved some of my favorite tropes into this including bed sharing and mutual pining, and along the way I made mirror sex a pretty entertaining thing to write. It’s multi chapter but you can jump in anywhere since it’s just a lot of smut and dorks being in love.

4. As My Lady Commands Kudos: 158 Rumbelle EF AU: After Rumplestiltskin accidentally slays a dragon, he is rewarded with knighthood. But with war on the horizon and the Dark One under the control of their enemy, an attempt on her life forces Princess Belle to flee her kingdom with only the reluctant knight Sir Rumplestiltskin to protect her. It’s slated to be about 25 chapters in total, slow burn, plotty, magical AU fic that only a few people cared about it. It was probably silly of me to dive into such a thing being, at the time, basically unknown in this fandom. It probably has so many comments and kudos because it’s 12 chapters. I do plan to finish it someday, but there’s no motivation right now and I’m not sure anyone would care if I did. Which is sad because I think it’s my best world building, the plot is pretty good, and I have a planned sequel that I think is even better. At some point it will fall off the list into oblivion.

5. For Rent Kudos: 152 Rumbelle non-magical AU: Librarian Belle finds out she has to leave her apartment immediately, and is desperate to find a new place to live. Mr. Gold arrives at the library at the right time and not only provides some comfort to a distraught Miss French, but solves her accommodations problem as well. Of course he has a slight ulterior motive, his crush on the lovely librarian, who is about to be his neighbor and tenant. I have no idea why this is so popular. I guess because it’s cute and fluffy and mostly harmless? There’s probably two or three chapters left of it unless I get more prompts.

What are your five least popular works by kudos? (in ascending order)

1. And the Heart is Hard to Translate Kudos: 8 Snowing and Gremma, canon compliant (at the time) one-shot. This was my first ever OUAT fic, written immediately after Snow Falls aired and posted back on LJ. I ported it to AO3 with it’s original posting date, which is likely why it has virtually no kudos or attention.

2. I’m Not Going Anywhere Kudos: 12 Swanfire written for the angsty prompt fic meme. AU where Neal lives and is present before, during, and after the Dark Swan arc. Emma has a nightmare and Neal is there to comfort her. This is something I wished had happened. Probably so few kudos because it’s Swanfire? IDK.

3. Something to Talk About Kudos: 18 Rumbelle crack. beastlycheese requested: I would really like you to write me a story where.. Rumple goes after the real authors and when he gets the worms that call themselves, oh I dont know... Andrew and Edward say. He turns them into gargoyles (no need to change their faces) and sticks them on the wall above the bed in the dark castle Goldstiltskin and Belle then enjoy many happy ever afters. I cannot believe I wrote this. Don’t read it.

4. And Love Comes Back Around Again Kudos: 19 Really short Rumbelle semi-canon compliant post-series AU fluff. I wrote this for Rumbelle is Hope. It’s short and not very good. Kid fic.

5. Of Things We Should Forget Kudos: 22 Rumbelle cursed AU. My first ever Rumbelle fic, written immediately after Skin Deep aired in 2012. I posted it on LJ way back and then ported it to AO3 with it’s original post date, which is of course why it likely got no attention. The tags make it sound worse than it is. It’s something I am planning to use for an expanded verse someday, but it is what it is.

I don’t know who hasn’t done this yet, so tagging: @mariequitecontrarie, @leni-ba, @still-searching47, @rufeepeach, @ifishouldvanish

[as-be-low]

I got tagged by @impishnature! Thank youuu! :D :D :D

Do This: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they are working on. This can be anything!

Hmmm okay I have like FOLDERS UPON FOLDERS full of ideas for Gravity Falls alone that I’m gradually fleshing out, so I guess that can be considered “working on,” right?

1.) Currently typing up the first half of the next chapter for THCM! It’s hella long and I’m both excited about it and kicking myself over it. It’s super cute and there will be fluff, including:

The leprecorn

Ford cuddling babies

Bathtime feat. the leprecorn

I’m feeling a little bit stuck, because I know where I’ve planned for it to go since the beginning, and to plant the seeds for that, they’d have to be planted now, but I’m second guessing myself about it for some reason. IDK. I might be at an impasse, or I might just chug on ahead.

2.) Forensic Ford AU! This story feels like a crime mystery-type-thing, and I feel like I have to have COMPLETELY planned out, no winging it because of the nature of planting clues here and there to have to reference from. (…Does that even make sense?) So right now, I’m hammering out the clues our hopeless heroes have to work with. :B

I will say that Ford and Stan get into an argument and Stan storms out, ends up missing.

Ford would be so distraught and think it was his fault

A week or so later another body would turn up mutilated with the same build as stan

Ford would be inconsolable for like a month

He'd go back to work and be like "I have to analyze the body. I have to." And would like be ugly crying a little bit at one point and someone would try to pull him away and he'd fight them

He'd run out laughing a few hours later and they'd be like "okay he's lost it" and try to hold him down but he's just like "it's not him! It's a John Doe!" And grab fiddleford who was there as emotional support and like cup his face and fiddleford would fuckin faint because ford is still wearing gross ass dirty latex gloves

He'd have to calm down and prove it (dental records, a break on the bone that should be there but isn't, etc, plus decomposition denotes a time of death that doesn't line up with when stan went missing)

Also stan shows up pissed off eight days after that of his own accord. Ford punches him on sight and stan punches back and then spends the rest of the night grumbling about it.

he had gotten roughed up up a LOT and he had to break out AGAIN and then make it back to stupid assfuck Tennessee and then THIS was the hello he gets??

“Stan why didn't you just call”

It didn't seem reasonable at the time. I got kicked in the head a lot, okay? he parts his hair to show the large gash that may be getting infected. fiddleford all but passes out, the poor squeamish bastard. somebody probably says that as he leaves the room. “poor squeamish bastard.” stan is still pissed about being beaten and lowkey tortured only to break out and get punched in the face by his brother. his nose was broken and now it’s broken even worse. he has two fresh black eyes in the morning. ford feels bad for his “crime of passion” and stan just rolls his eyes like “next time just finish the job and get me with a nail bat, would ya? it’s more efficient.” “stanley, that isn’t funny.” “who said I was playin’, asshole?” that asswhooping really does a number on him, and mixed with the extra punches, they send him to the hospital, where they check over all of his other poorly-healing injuries (broken ribs, broken wrist, compound fractured foot (“and you WALKED here?” “what other choice did I have? Would you pick me up as a hitchhiker?”), bruised liver and lung, and untreated concussion. 

Poor Stan.

3.) I’ve also got the plans for a sequel to He Himself sitting on the backburner! I’d intended for that to be a one-shot, but someone made a good point and it kinda just spiraled, and ultimately the Stans are dweebs who keep messing with time and concepts they have no business fiddling with by going back and back and back, and yeah. They’re getting sentenced to Globnar. Of course they are. Whether or not either of them want any of the possible outcomes to come to fruition is debatable.

4.) I got inspired by Coheed’s Domino the Destitute and now I have the bones for something that follows in the vein of that song. I don’t know exactly what’s gonna happen yet, but I do know that it’ll likely be called “While You Were Left with Nothing.” It might just devolve into a collection of songfics for a genre I’m pretty sure no one in this fandom even likes but that also sounds like a problem I’m not particularly concerned with. It is SUCH a Pines Twins Classic song, so if anyone knows it, please come gush with me over it pleasepleaseplease

5.) I’ve also got this REALLY, REALLY angsty idea for a story where a Portal Ford stumbles his way into a parallel Earth dimension and finds himself heading for Gravity Falls, just for the heck of it. He doesn’t like what he finds in the least.

6.) I also have this long, drawn-out file that’s a compilation of ideas for a collection of one-shots that focus on different ways the A Better World universe(s) could have gone. 99.999% of them are just SAD ENDINGS BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I OPERATE, but one in particular (which is of course the longest outline/ficlet to date) has the potential for a happy ending, if you’ll forgive the messy formatting (I write and keep these on my phone):

Another stan gets into a yelling match with his ford, which stops after he tells him to do the first worthwhile thing in his life. Stan snatches the journal and storms out at that. Ford stabilizes everything after a while, maybe two or three years, and reaches out to his brother again, asks him to come again. stan comes, gaunt and nervous looking, expecting another errand. is stunned when no request is made. is itching to leave after a short time, “before… before I, y’know…” “before you what?” “Before I can mess something else of yours up.” He makes good on his own suggestion, and bounces soon after. Ford calls him again, but is met with polite noncommittal responses towards ever coming back. It’s like he’s afraid of ford. maybe he read the journal. maybe he should be afraid of ford. his calls get less and less frequent, and their tone becomes more and more stilted. Ford doesn’t know what to do. He calls him again to let him know shermy was having grandkids, that he’d expressed that he wanted stan to be there. “he doesn’t mean that, ford. Nice gesture, though.” “stanley, he does want you there. don’t say that.” “I’m a stranger to his son. he doesn’t want some stranger there with him ’n his wife at the birth of his first kid. Ma ’n Pa’ll probably be there, too, ’n we know I’m not welcome there then.” he calls back to let him know the babies are twins. stan hangs up. Extra angst if Filbrick’s dead at this point and nobody told him. Ford’s calls go unanswered. after a few  years of occasional, unanswered calls every few months, ford gives up. The kids go up for a summer visit. Mabel finds out Ford has a twin, digs through and finds the number and calls INCESSANTLY. Stan answers, but he’s not happy about it at all. Mabel works her magic and insists he comes to Oregon to meet her. They have a long talk about what went wrong. Stan finds himself surprised to be pouring his heart out to this stranger of a child, telling her how he messed up ford’s project and ruined his opportunity to get into a good school, and how he just made a big series of mistakes here and there down the years. He’s convinced Ford only talked to him or called him to be nice because he felt he was supposed to.

“I’m not anyone you wanna meet, kid.”

“And now?”

“what?”

“what do you do now?”

“taxi driver.”

“oooh!”

“Look kid, you probably shouldn’t be talking to me. I’m sure Ford doesn’t want you using his phone. Or talking to the likes of me. Aren’t you on summer break? shouldn’t you be outside or something? Aren’t you supposed to be playing outside?”

or better yet, ford’s like uhh kids how about a road trip? because they’re getting absolutely BORED and he wants to be a good summer guardian and let them have fun, I mean dipper’s happy to play DD&MD but mabel gets left out that way and none of her interests are anything Ford knows what to do with/about so she’s spending a lot of the summer knitting (Ford’s put strict stipulations on outdoors and w/e) so there’s not much she can really do?? she’s not allowed in the lab after a near-accident, though dipper still tags along. Ford notices the child growing listless and doesn’t know what to do about it, so by the point it’s reached a concerning high, he’s grasping at straws for ideas and some intern is like “my family always did road trips?” and he latches onto that. mabel’s scrapbook has turned remarkably dull, like she’s taking pictures of leaves and squirrels she sees on the porch and the trees and dipper’s pile of sweaty socks and everything is just so mundane but she’s trying really hard to make it sound exciting in the scrapbook and if ford ever finds it wow he’d feel so guilty

so they roadtrip and it’s hella awkward and since he’s doing this kinda for mabel even though she’s never expressed any desire to go on a road trip, he lets her kinda guide the itinerary? she picks wherever stan is living.

ford find mabel’s little cell phone or whatever and she’s been messaging stan and ford reads through it and is like “who is this G. S. with 9 heart eye emojis” and is ready to go kick some little punk’s ass but then he reads further and realizes it’s Stanley and he also seems to have no idea what she’s up to (and has said “kiddo, you can’t meet me. just cuz you know i’m your grunkle (ha! I like that name! Grunkle. it’s got a nice ring to it) doesn’t mean you gotta come visit. please don’t visit. I’m nobody you wanna see.” and she’s like okay fine I promise” though yeah that’s obviously a lie. he doesn’t know whether to confront her or not. obviously he should, but that opens the can of worms of why/how didn’t he even know where his brother was (stanley moved & got a new number and the last time ford tried to call the old number was disconnected) vs. how did SHE know “mabel, how did you find his number??” and “why won’t you let me meet my other grunkle?? HE’S SAD AND LONELY WHY DON’T YOU EVER VISIT HIM HE’S YOUR TWIN” etc

maybe mabel sent him a postcard right before they set off, so he’s texting her repeatedly like

“kid. kid, where are you? please don’t do anything stupid. please don’t be alone, I don’t know what I’d do if you got hurt on account of the likes of me.”

and that’s as far as I got, but then yeah there’s gonna be a happy reunion of course.

7.) I also have thank you cards to write and mail and just regular post cards, and also pen pal letters that are like OVER A YEAR OVERDUE BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON WHY AM I LIKE THIS ALSO WHERE IS MY FANCY INK BOTTLE I JUST BOUGHT

8.) I’ve also got a little AU ficlet set after Weirdmageddon and Stan still has amnesia (Mabel’s scrapbook didn’t really work like they’d hoped.) Ford finds that he doesn’t have the heart to tell his brother the sad things about their lives so he just makes up happy, sweet little lies to fill Stan’s head with because he just can’t bring himself to hurt him and Stan doesn’t question it or think to wonder why after a certain point he’s no longer in any pictures.

Stan starts to remember his life via nightmares, which he just chalks up to being regular nightmares. He doesn’t want Ford to know he’s having them because they’ve always been such a happy, average family, right? It would be out of place for him to have…such awful, graphic nightmares. And it was bad enough that his brain was fuzzy and he couldn’t remember things so good, especially when Ford was so smart! 12 PhDs? Their family must’ve been so proud. He was so proud. It was bad enough Ford had gotten saddled with such a dumb…cousin? No, they were brothers. He couldn’t even remember he had a brother.

His nightmares get increasingly worse and at some point turn into flashbacks/night terrors and the most violent ones he relives send Ford into a panic. He didn’t know about THIS. Ford is wholly unprepared for firsthand experience of what Stan went through, and Stan is nearly mute about it all and refuses to talk because he’s ashamed of all the freaky dreams; Ford shouldn’t have to deal with any of this! Maybe he should just put him in a home, or something. He didn’t wanna hold him back, or anything. He’s not sure why Ford looks so heartbroken when he said that.

9.) This idea note’s just short and simple enough to stand on its own:

one-shot where Ford spends an evening demolishing the stan-o-war after the “incident.”

Call it “The Wind out of My Sails”

I imagine him having stolen a cigarette or something to watch the ship burn with.

10.) I’ve also got an idea for a sort of Southern Gothic AU where Mrs. McGucket is something of folk healer that may or may not dabble in the occult, which leads to all sorts of monster hunting shenanigans, with added kudzu action. Maybe the real monster was the friends we made along the way lol

...Hmm, that’s a lot and that’s super long, so I should probably stop right there while I’m ahead, haha!

I taaaaag,  @themindofcc ,  @thefaceofhoe , @icefeels , @vermeerdear , @ancientouroboros , @femmeofthesouthernwild , and anyone else who’s jonesin’ to do this! (Tag me back! I’m always curious about what other folks are writing! :D)