#could never ever afford to see f1 there

[agendabymooner]

own my mind || dr3 fic

daniel ricciardo x ofc (måneskin member!ofc)

prequel to the rush series

“do you wanna know what good, good, bad things all feel like?”

Summary: It took Lorelei Hester Alessandro, or Lester, almost six Italian Grand Prix races to come across Daniel Ricciardo once more. Sure, she was hesitant to speak to him regardless of the fact that she was his fan but the McLaren driver was certain he’d rather cause a stir in the F1 community with her after his win in Monza than celebrate his victory with a lot of people. OR the second close encounter between the two of them most unhinged people of F1.

Content warning: Use of explicit language, Big Ric Energy™, RBR!Daniel mentioned, alcohol consumption

Note: Self indulgent fic mostly. Make sure to catch up with the rush series or read this first before going ahead with the whole series! This is basically introduction to the relationship of Lester and Danny. enjoy xx

masterlist

2021 — PRESENT

It wasn’t everyday Lester got to value something like this wrapped around her neck like a jewelry from a parure. She supposed that being a Eurovision winner, alongside her best friends, would do that to anyone. 

Because she couldn’t afford this and this was just a chance that she took — a risk. It wasn’t everyday she got to support her country’s racing team in the front row. The Paddock Club pass on her neck was a dream come true, indeed, but being a guest of Scuderia Ferrari because their driver was a fan of the band you’ve built from the ground up? 

Yeah she was living THE dream. She wished that it would stay like this forever.

“Non bere troppo! È solo l'inizio della gara,” Don’t drink too much! It’s only the start of the race. Her friend Ethan stated, his slender fingers reaching for her glass as she glared at him. Lester downed the rest of her champagne.

“It’s a qualifying, idiota,” Lester rolled her eyes. “What could possibly be exciting about this?”

“I piloti che potrebbero ottenere la pole position? È eccitante, non credi?” The drivers who might get the pole position? That’s exciting, don’t you think? Damiano said. “Are you okay, Lo? You’ve been looking so foul ever since we got here today.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Lester waved off, pretending as if she hadn’t come across a certain Australian who definitely paid attention to her earlier. 

The fact was that he hadn’t just paid attention — he made some offhanded comments about inviting her to his driver’s room and the paddock area of McLaren. Maybe it was a bad idea to look around in awe after living your childhood dream of being known in the F1 world because even your favourite driver would want to fuck you if you looked extremely hot and adorable at the same time. She didn’t even want to see Daniel Ricciardo in that sense. She liked his driving and she made him her favourite driver of this generation. 

It was a shame that was the first thing he said since 2015. Not that he remembered. But Lester certainly had. 

2015 

It was a good idea her boss was a close friend of the owner of the bar because she wouldn’t have found herself in this place. Where the drivers are now. 

She tried to put on her best clothes — a black lacy bodysuit, leather pants and the most expensive Gucci shoes that her sister Nora had lent her for the weekend. She didn’t think to tell anyone what the brand of her clothes were as to save face in front of people who could pay her rent; the pants she wore were thrifted and the bodysuit was an off season clearance item from Victoria’s Secret. She never told anyone about it.

She barely made it to Monza because of the lack of money she had. University and being a musician did a number on her. She might as well sell her soul just to see Daniel Ricciardo in person. 

Lester had gotten in touch with the owner and did the best she could to keep things low key. Her friend Thomas was the one who had taken her to the club to avoid any further trouble that could be possibly caused by her fangirl behaviour.

But it wasn’t exactly her potential freakouts that would lead her to him. 

At first she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. She was calm and collected — she apologized as much as she could and cleaned up everything she had to clean up. But then, Toro Rosso’s Max Verstappen decided to make things harder for the both of them and had gotten into a quarrel about not watching her way and how irritated he is. 

“You don’t look like you could smile anyways,” said Lester as she turned away and cursed, “Insufferable bastard.”

A gasp behind her echoed through the crowded loud room. All while Lester listened to the steam coming out of Max’s ears.

“What did you call me?” Max asked angrily, but Lester was walking away. “Oi! I’m talking to you!”

“And I’m not trying to,” Lester spewed out, “I’ve seen you before. Toro Rosso right? You’ve no personality— it’s no wonder why I like Sainz over you.” 

“Sec—“

“Max no,” Carlos Sainz backed up the Dutchman before turning to Lester and Thomas, who was now holding back the bassist.

“Is that why you’re always frowning? Because you can’t even smile even if someone begged you to,” Lester retaliated, making Max turn even more red.

“Security—“

“Max, what’s wrong, mate?” That voice froze Lester to the core. No way. 

But her suspicion was right because by the time she turned back around, a familiar figure stood next to the Dutchman with cocktail in hand. Shit. She was picking a fight at the same room as Daniel Ricciardo. 

So much for a good impression.

“She’s—“ 

“I’d pick your words wisely because I don’t take shit from men regardless of how well known they are,” Lester didn’t even care about the Australian person knowing that she’s got a bigger problem she called Max. 

“Look, listen—“ Daniel spoke up, staring at Lester as he smiled and put a hand in front of Max. “I apologize on his behalf—“

“What—“

“I don’t obviously know what happened but I hope we can put it past us. No? This is the first time Max’s been out and he just doesn’t want to ruin his own night,” Daniel had put on his best smile and Lester could just tell that he did it to not cause any more issue within the Red Bull team. 

“I’m obviously more than willing to,” Lester’s accent thickened as she glared at Max, “but that asshole’s trying to pick a fight. I cleaned up everything already!” 

“And I appreciate that,” Daniel turned towards Max and Carlos, “Look, lads. Just— stay out of trouble, alright? Just walk away from the scene and act as if you hadn’t done something stupid. I’m cleaning up your mess, just walk away. Don’t hassle the lady and her friends.” 

Lester continued to glare at Max. Dío mio, he was so annoying for a driver who does well, she thought. The Dutchman huffed before he walked off with Carlos Sainz. But when Daniel turned back, Lester and her friend had already walked away too. She hadn’t wanted to embarrass herself further in front of the Australian. 

“Miss!” Lester had surprisingly heard his voice while the crowd remained loud, especially when she was so drawn by Toto’s girlfriend, Tilly Hearth’s presence as she spoke to the Italian girl with a grin about her newest novel. She had been a fan of Tilly ever since she entered the formula one world last year, but Daniel Ricciardo’s voice was familiar and it had her turning around. 

He held his hand out with a wide grin, “Come dance with me!” 

“So rude of you Daniel,” Tilly scoffed jokingly, “I’m talking to the girl.”

“It’s to make up for Max’s attitude,” Daniel winked at the Italian, making Lester blush. “Us Red Bull drivers should be acting with decorum, so it’s only fair I make it up on his behalf no?” 

“I—“ Lester offered Tilly a meek smile, “Thank you for chatting. I appreciate it. Grazie, Signora Hearth.” 

“Yes, of course,” the older woman waved off, “I’ll see you around, yes?” 

Then her night started there and the love she had for Daniel Ricciardo strengthened. It was too bad it took her six years until she realized how shitty he could get. But it also took Daniel six years to realize that the love he could’ve had was the girl who had nearly been kicked out of the bar.

2021 — NOW

Now, Lester wasn’t a saint; she had her fair share of shittiness. She had ghosted people before, hell she even blocked some. But to be brought from Ferrari to McLaren just so Daniel Ricciardo could chat her up — years or so after blocking her — was just borderline asshole-ish of him. His cockiness radiated while he asked for her name, trying to offer her a good conversation as if she hadn’t been here before. 

It was more baffling that he didn’t remember her from six years ago when he danced wildly with her after the race. But it wasn’t Lester’s place to remind him, only huffing out in annoyance and losing her faith in him as he tried inviting her to his driver's room. 

“Sei fottutamente serio in questo momento?!” Are you fucking serious right now. Lester scoffed at him as Daniel’s eyes widened in shock. “Uomo stupido! Stupido, stupido, stupido uomo ingenuo!” Stupid man! Stupid, stupid, dumb naive man! 

“I’m sorry, what—“

Lester glared at him before saying, “I knew coming here in this area is a mistake. I’m a fan of yours, you know? All those years ago, I thought you genuinely were kind for offering a good dance.” She pressed a finger in his chest, “But you are like all of them, Mr. Ricciardo. Inviting me to your room so you can have a good head? You. Are. Fucking. Stupid.” 

“I’m inviting you to our paddock area…?” 

“I am a Ferrari guest— and A PART OF TIFOSI!” Lester exclaimed. “Besides, I’m a bassist of this year’s Eurovision winner, so you’re not the only one who’s famous.” 

“Lorelei—“ 

“I’m ABBA style popular, “Dan!” I’m not gonna fuck you for a paddock pass!” Lester’s mouth barely stopped as she muttered swear words in Italian and walked past him. That was the second time Daniel Ricciardo had witnessed some sort of confrontation with her, so when this did happen it stuck to him and realized who she was. 

Another woman approached Lester for the third time today and it was beginning to bother her. The said woman wore a papaya shirt, making Lester frown lightly before the woman could ever speak. The bassist spoke as politely as she could “If this is about your driver, please don’t bother. I really do not want to cause more problems with him. He needs to focus on minding his business.”

“Daniel would really like to apologize,” the woman emphasized, “he wouldn’t shut up. We really don’t want to make a bad impression to you guys and we can’t have our drivers act so badly towards you.” 

“It’s alright,” Lester waved off. It really wasn’t. It annoyed her that Daniel didn’t see her as a musician but rather a groupie. “Just… tell him to focus more on his race. He can live.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to go try and speak to him again?” Ethan asked, “You’ve always wanted to see him up close.”

“That might have been the case before but there’s a fine line between being seen as a fan and as a groupie you can take back to your drivers room,” Lester told her friends quietly. It turns out that she wasn’t as quiet as she thought, because the mouth of the woman in the papaya shirt gaped open just as she dropped the bomb. 

Then the woman said, “I am so, so, so sorry for that. God, that man and his mouth— don’t worry, Miss Allie, he is getting an earful after the qualifying and we’ll make sure he’s going to— God! Sorry, I’ve to go see him. I’ll touch base with your manager before you leave tomorrow after the race. Is that okay? Good. Enjoy the race, Miss Allie, Misters David, Raggi and Torchio.” 

Lester turned back to her friends with a confused frown, which was met with their own reactions once that the woman sped away. She mumbled, “So weird. It’s really not a big deal.”

“It is,” Damiano replied, “especially if that’s how they reacted. Anyone wouldn’t have cared much so clearly your issue with Daniel is a big deal.” 

Thomas: We’re partying with the drivers tomorrow. Charles Leclerc invited us.

Lester: Awesome I guess. 

Maybe a part of her was still a fan of the Honey Badger. She couldn’t fathom telling him that though, still feeling humiliated by the way she reacted and how he perceived her yesterday. 

All she could do was stare up at him as he celebrated his Monza win as his champagne bottle sprinkled on his fellow podium mates. Everyone celebrated him despite the disappointment of Ferrari not being in the P1 position. Everyone celebrated Daniel Ricciardo because he’s still Daniel Ricciardo. 

The way he stuck his tongue out while the champagne rained over the audience below the podium did a number on Lester as her pupils had blown in excitement and… lust? She wasn’t sure.

She felt something when his dark eyes glossed over hers and stopped looking around altogether. His grin remained on his face, but he was a man with a plan to apologize eventually. 

Sprinklings of the alcohol soaked her blazer partially as her friends finally made their way to the garages to check on the drivers. They spoke to Charles and Carlos once more and thanked the duo for a good race. Her mind was still elsewhere when she spoke to the two, her eyes scanning the pit lane to catch a glimpse of the Australian. 

No luck. But she wasn’t actively seeking him nor should she do anything about him. 

Her pinstripe waistcoats hugged her figure tightly alongside the flared pants that matched the fabric of her top, collars popping off as her petite body emphasized every single curve that she had. The boots that she wore increased the possibilities of being seen by the winner, but she didn’t think to care that much about him. 

She thanked her footwear and her dark red lips for catching his attention, though. 

Daniel Ricciardo was keen on celebrating his win with his peers. He opted for cocktails at first, but then the dance floor called for hard liquor for courage as he finally placed his glass down and walked towards the bassist. 

“Miss Alessandro!” The bassist, who already took her first drink, turned around to face Daniel Ricciardo. For someone who claimed to be a big fan of his, she didn’t think to care for him now— and he liked that about her. She wasn’t intimidated and she was more confident after painting her lips blood red. 

“Ah! Signor Ricciardo,” Lester smirked lazily, not even making it less obvious that she was taking his presence in slowly as she spoke, “Hai fatto bene nella tua gara. Congratulazioni.” You did well on your race. Congratulations.

Her Italian accent left him stammering a little as he lost his mind at how sultry it was. “A- ah yes. Personally- I don’t speak Italian- I’m half but I don’t speak it. But I can understand the congratulations part- so thank you.” 

“Hm,” she eyed him up and down before sipping on her champagne. The fact that she looked away somehow bothered him. He wasn’t sure if it was his ego or her attention— he was just bothered that she wouldn’t pay attention to him. 

But he was good at mind games too. Well… that’s if she was playing it. “Listen, have I ever told you that you’ve the Italian charm that my Dad used to tell me about?” 

“Really?” Lester giggled, not because of how Daniel worded it. She was laughing at the fact that of all the things he could’ve went with, he went with this. 

“My Mum used to tell me that’s how Dad fell for her,” Daniel smirked, now sitting next to her before he spoke to the bartender about the champagne they had for him. “How about I tell you more about it?” 

“Well… considering how you’ve treated me a few days ago, I don’t think it’s the Italian charm that kept you going,” Lester leaned over, her lips nearing his ear as she whispered, “You know what I think? It must’ve been the adrenaline and ego of a talented driver that told you to chase after me. Sad to say, I’m not the one night stand kind. I don’t even like parties like these— I’d rather be drinking alone but what else can a woman do?”

She hadn’t even seen the bartender approach the two as she stood, her tipsy face sobering up as she grabbed her purse. But just as she turned down the chance of standing too close to her favourite driver, Daniel pulled her back by the wrist as he offered her a pleading look.

“Look, I’m sorry I left a bad impression on you the other day,” those words definitely sobered her up. Daniel said through a wild loud crowd, “I was just hoping for some one-on-one time with you but clearly that didn’t work out.” 

“You worded it as if I wanted to fuck,” Lester pointed out.

“I know, I know,” Daniel told her guiltily before admitting, “it was wrong— like really, really wrong. My PR manager wasn’t joking when she said I wanted to apologize yesterday.” 

She stopped fighting against the restraint he had of her, standing there dumbfounded as she said, “Wow… uh… okay. Thank you for apologizing.” 

“And uh,” he scratched his head as he gestured at the full bottle of champagne in front of them, “if you’d like we can finish this whole bottle together? No, no funny intention— I swear to you. We’d have more privacy in the hotel and we’ll have a decent champagne tasting experience. You won’t have to deal with anything. Just let me make it up to you.” 

She stared at him for the moment. At first she was hesitant; this was Daniel Ricciardo— HER favourite driver Daniel Ricciardo. All those years of being a formula one fan taught her enough about him and how to love him, so to see him up close? This was a dream and a joke. 

After all, he did block her back when she’d spam tweet him. She didn’t obviously blame him for that; but he was still Daniel Ricciardo. He was world famous. 

But then again, in Europe and possibly around the world, she too was popular. What did she have to lose? She wanted to know what good and bad things felt like when they’re mixed together. 

“Sure,” she beamed, making his eyes light up in joy as he stood excitedly. “I’d like to get to know you as Daniel.” 

“I hope you have some stories to tell,” Daniel said, “because I’ve been wondering who Lester is ever since she came to the paddock.” 

“Lorelei,” she introduced herself, “or Lori. Lester’s just for the music and concerts. If you want to know who I am then I’m Lori.”

“Good, then call me Danny.” 

This wasn’t the kind of bad and good thing that she expected. 

Waking up next to him definitely felt great, with her manicured nails trailing down his bare chest as she slowly woke up from her slumber. His soft breathing was peaceful. Fuck that felt great. 

Her eyes’ insistence to stay shut definitely hadn’t helped her as she groaned quietly. The sunlight that passed through the blinds called for her awakened presence. She had an incoming headache. This was bad.

No… waking up next to Daniel Ricciardo naked was. But just as she opened her eyes wide and looked down, the sigh of relief escaped her mouth. She didn’t have sex with him. 

“Mmmm… ‘m just half naked,” he murmured, not even looking at her as he kept his eyes shut, “we didn’t… no I’d never do that to you…”

“Oh,” she said softly, but her voice was raspy as she slowly sat up and looked at him while she nodded to herself, “Good… we didn’t have sex. Good.” 

His phone was blowing up for god knows how long now, and with her phone, at 21% charge, going off as well she’d never been this annoyed with waking up until now. She wanted to throw her phone so bad if it hadn’t been for her twitter going off. 

Endless texts came from Damiano, Thomas and Ethan as they begged her to answer or check her twitter. 

She understood why they were like that. It wasn’t everyday she got to see herself posing lewdly — but not naked — in front of a camera while drunk. No wait— she never got to see herself pose like that on Daniel Ricciardo’s twitter page. 

“Oh fuck…” she muttered, running her red nails through her hair as she shook Daniel awake. “Ricciardo, wake up.” 

“Hm?” His eyes opened for a moment to read the tweet on her screen before drifting off. But the realization nearly had his eyes popping out as he sat up, “Shit!”

“Look, I really don’t like the thought of causing more scandal for you… or me,” Daniel finally gathered his thoughts after he had a long conversation with his PR manager and Lester’s own. He had freshened up and gave Lester some spare clothes, shying away from her after the embarrassing incident of tweeting while drunk last night. 

His meekness, however, was something of an amusement for Lester as she continued to chuckle quietly. The Daniel Ricciardo that Lester had seen on TV was the cocky and funnily confident one — so seeing this version of him was some sort of an honour, if you would ask her.

He continued, “And after all of this I don’t think you’d want to see the guy who made your career miserable but seriously I’m sorry—“

“Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?” Lester cut him off with a cheeky smile, “after all, we have to figure out how to get back to the graces of your fans and mine, no? What’s better than to do it together?”

Daniel, for the third time, was rendered silent. God, she was so divine. 

“So… what do you think?” 

“About… OH! Shit, yes,” Daniel cursed underneath his breath, making the Italian woman giggle loudly as he said, “Would you like to meet me sometime next week? I’ve got accommodation in Monaco. I'd really kill for a… date. With you.” 

“So not just for PR reasons?” She raised a brow in amusement.

“Definitely not,” Daniel shook his head. “I think I haven’t won fully until you say y—“

“Yes, that sounds good,” Lester exclaimed as she beamed heavily. “A date it is.”

He beamed back, “Good. I… Shit. Sorry— I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed with me, Lori.”

“And I look forward to it, Danny.”

Good God. 

She was what good and bad things felt like altogether. 

[umgeorge]

We Sat Down With George Russell Ahead Of Grand Prix Weekend

Nothing beats the buzz you'll find in Melbourne ahead of Grand Prix weekend, but the energy in the room with George Russell-British racer who steers the mighty W15 for Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team-is nothing but relaxed. His green room is a cocoon of calm in an otherwise chaotic weekend of press, brand obligations, training, and, of course, actually driving the damn car come lights out on Sunday. Greeted with a cool fist bump ("You alright, mate?"), George parks himself across from me ahead of his appearance at the IWC Chadstone boutique that same evening. Smiles on, eyes attentive, and, of course, with his timepiece in full view of the cameras, we get straight into it with the man who's always on the clock, be it his own, the FIA's, or someone else's.

John McMahon: "George, give us your favourite moment from last season. If you had to pick just one." George: "Crossing the line in Abu Dhabi to secure P2 for the team in the championship, for sure. There was such a tight battle with Ferrari for a number of races and when we went into that race it was sort of me and Charles battling it out, then suddenly, Perez came through quick and he had the five second penalty and it went down to half a second. That was the difference between us finishing second in the championship or third in the championship, and that's 2,000 peoples' bonuses back at the factory, as well. So that was a relief to secure that result for the team."

JM: "What about the off-season? Favourite moment? Do you ever feel like you really switch off?" George: "I would say I managed to switch off for about a week during the off-season, which is pretty good, but I've always got racing on my mind and I'm always dropping my engineers messages and phone calls just with ideas I have of how we can improve. But I think my favourite moment was just seeing my niece and nephew. My sister had a child, as well, in the off-season, so that was a special moment. But just doing normal stuff, being a normal person is what I like the most."

JM: "So you wore a few different watches from IWC last year, but it looks like the one you wore the most was the Ceratanium Top Gun Double Chrono." George: "Yeah, that's my favourite by far. I love it because, when I joined Mercedes as a junior driver, that was the watch that I said I wanted, and when my first IWC arrived from the team it wasn't that watch. [laughs] And it was only three years later that I managed to actually get my hands on that watch when I could afford it and I was actually a part of the Mercedes team, so it means something to me. I think it just looks really, really cool, doesn't it? It's not too out there but it's got quite a sporty look to it, so you can wear it daily. It's my go-to."

JM: "If you had to pick a watch for traveling, a watch for the paddock, a watch for date night… where would you land?" George: "Hmm, for the paddock... Probably what I'm wearing currently, the new Mercedes team watch, the Performance Chronograph from IWC. It's similar to the Top Gun in terms of the colour and the style, but the Petronas green details add a layer of depth, so that would definitely be my paddock watch. Date night, probably the Portugieser Annual Calendar. Keep it classy." JM: "And travel?" George: "I really like the-I can never pronounce it as gracefully as the Swiss-Ingenieur. It's light, easy on the wrist, and fits under a cuff as well. For travelling you never want anything too bulky."

JM: "Last year you did probably one of my all-time bucket list experiences. You embraced the Top Gun ethos in a RAF Typhoon fighter jet. It's probably the only career that's faster than an F1 car. Did it ever appeal to you, that career?" George: "It never appealed to me, but since having the experience of… Well, firstly, I just thought I was going to be a passenger. I didn't know at the time they were going to let me fly, and getting the chance to actually fly it myself, I mean, experience of a lifetime, and would really love to get back up there, because it is like a Formula 1 car up in the skies." JM: "There are a lot of parallels, aren't there?" George: "It's so agile and quick. You've got the joystick in front of you, you just move it and the thing just rolls over instantly. It's the same with an F1 car, when you're traveling, you know, 330 km/h down the straight, you turn into the corner and you zoom immediately to the other side of the track. You're in the cockpit in both respects, but the team is like such a massive part of making that operation actually happen. There's so much camaraderie between everybody. It was like a family away from home as it is for us in Formula 1. Awesome experience, so yeah, a lot of respect for what they're doing."

JM: "The inverse of that: What's the most boring thing about being an F1 driver? You can say interviews like these, I won't be offended." George: "What do you think is the most boring thing about being an F1 driver?" JM: "Probably interviews like these, no? Being pulled left, right and centre the whole time. How about time on a plane?" George: "I want to do the numbers, but I reckon over the course of a year we would spend closing in on I'd go as far as almost a whole month on a plane. All of the flights within Europe alone, I'm doing probably five flights a week on average. There are 4,000 people who travel the world for Formula 1, and it's a very luxurious lifestyle on the face of it, but a lot of time away from home, away from loved ones, a lot of time zone shifts, brutal on the body, but you know we wouldn't change it for the world because we love what we do. It's the best job in the world."

JM: "Let's talk Vegas. It didn't go quite according to plan for you last year, but was such a momentous occasion for the sport and to be under the lights. Talk us through that first time you drove the car down that strip." George: "It was fast and bumpy, one hell of a ride. On the face of it the circuit seemed pretty underwhelming, but when we drove it, it had a huge amount of character. It was great for racing and it was very challenging to drive; really low grip. We were the only category racing, so the track was very green and dusty, so for drivers it was a unique challenge. I think in the race we were doing about 350 km/h. It was very difficult to spot the breaking points 120 metres out. When you're racing in the dark, you've got the buildings between you, all the lights at such wild speeds, it was surreal."

JM: "Aside from the obvious, do you have a personal goal for 2024 that gives us some sort of insight into the man that is George Russell? It could be getting better at Spanish on Duolingo…" George: [laughs] "My girlfriend would love that. No, just to enjoy the journey. I think it's so easy to get caught up in the competitive nature of the sport and the emotional rollercoaster that you go through, the highs and the lows. It's a psychological toll on the body, so you need to turn that into good energy and positivity, happiness, and that's what I'm gonna try and do a bit more of in 2024. We've all got this one life and you just need to maximise it and the days fly by."

JM: "On that same thought then, you've got the likes of Fernando, who we wouldn't be surprised if he's still racing when he’s fifty, and then you've got Nico, who's out on top after taking the championship. Are you a race until the body says no, kind of guy?" George: "I'll be here for a long time. I don't know what I'd do without it, to be honest. I'm not one of these guys who has all of these interests outside the sport. Some people need their passions outside to disconnect as a way of enhancing their performance on the track, and I respect that. For me, my life is racing. But I'm far from achieving what I set out to and believe I'm capable of. The seasons are becoming intense, very intense, and increasingly more challenging with the number of races. I'm fit and healthy and young at the moment, and I'm dealing with it absolutely fine, but I want to make sure that in ten years' time, when I'm 35, that I can deal with a 24 race calendar and I'm still fit and I'm still performing on the top of my game."

JM: "When you get off the plane here in Melbourne, what excites you most about the weekend ahead?" George: "Those first laps and the first practice. That's always a really exciting moment because you head into a race weekend with the unknown. We have an indication of what this weekend's going to bring. We're pretty confident a Red Bull is going to be at the sharp end of the grid. We don't know if we're going to be up there fighting with them, if we're going to be on the back foot, if the car's going to be performing well, if I'm going to be performing well, and those you get an indication after about three laps on track of how your weekend's gonna pan out and it's always a really exciting moment, the unknown. I just can't wait to jump into that car again."

[russellius]

NOTHING beats the buzz you’ll find in Melbourne ahead of Grand Prix weekend. But the energy in the room with George Russell — British racer who steers the mighty W15 for Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team — is nothing but relaxed.

His green room is a cocoon of calm in an otherwise chaotic weekend of press, brand obligations, training, and of course — actually driving the damn car come lights out on Sunday.

Greeted with a cool fist bump (“You alright, mate?”) George parks himself across from me ahead of his appearance at the IWC Chadstone boutique that same evening. Smiles on, eyes attentive — and of course, with his timepiece in full view of the cameras — we get straight into it with the man who’s always on the clock; be it his own, the FIA’s, or someone else’s.

John McMahon: George, give us your favourite moment from last season. If you had to pick just one.

George Russell: Crossing the line in Abu Dhabi to secure P2 for the team in the championship, for sure. There was such a tight battle with Ferrari for a number of races and when we went into that race it was sort of me and Charles battling it out — then suddenly, Perez came through quick and he had the five second penalty and it went down to half a second. That was the difference between us finishing second in the championship or third in the championship, and that’s 2,000 people’s bonuses back at the factory as well. So that was a relief to secure that result for the team.

JM: What about the off-season? Favourite moment? Do you ever feel like you really switch off?

GR: I would say I managed to switch off for about a week during the off-season, which is pretty good. But I’ve always got racing on my mind and I’m always dropping my engineers messages and phone calls just with ideas I have of how we can improve. But I think my favourite moment was just seeing my niece and nephew. My sister had a child as well in the off season so that was a special moment. But just doing normal stuff, being a normal person is what I like the most.

JM: So you wore a few different watches from IWC last year, but it looks like the one you wore the most was the Ceratanium TOP GUN Double Chrono…

GR: Yeah that’s my favourite by far. I love it because when I joined Mercedes as a junior driver, that was the watch that I said I wanted. And when my first IWC arrived from the team it wasn’t that watch [laughs]. And it was only three years later that I managed to actually get my hands on that watch when I could afford it and I was actually a part of the Mercedes team. So it means something to me. I think it just looks really, really cool, doesn’t it? It’s not too out there but it’s got quite a sporty look to it, so you can wear it daily. It’s my go-to.

JM: If you had to pick a watch for traveling, a watch for the paddock, a watch for date night… where would you land?

GR: Hmm, for the paddock — probably what I’m wearing currently, the new Mercedes team watch, the Performance Chronograph from IWC. It’s similar to the TOP GUN in terms of the colour and the style, but the Petronas green details add a layer of depth. So that would definitely be my paddock watch. Date night, probably the Portugieser Annual Calendar. Keep it classy.

JM: And travel?

GR: I really like the — I can never pronounce it as gracefully as the Swiss — Ingenieur. It’s light, easy on the wrist, and fits under a cuff as well. For travelling you never want anything too bulky.

JM: Last year you did probably one of my all-time bucket list experiences. You embraced the Top Gun ethos in a RAF Typhoon fighter jet. It’s probably the only career that’s faster than an F1 car. Did it ever appeal to you, that career?

GR: It never appealed to me, but since having the experience of… Well, firstly, I just thought I was going to be a passenger. I didn’t know at the time they were going to let me fly. And getting the chance to actually fly it myself, I mean, experience of a lifetime, and would really love to get back up there, because it is like a Formula 1 car up in the skies.

JM: There are a lot of parallels, aren’t there?

GR: It’s so agile and quick. You’ve got the joystick in front of you, you just move it and the thing just rolls over instantly. It’s the same with an F1 car, when you’re traveling, you know, 330 km/h down the straight, you turn into the corner and you zoom immediately to the other side of the track.

You’re in the cockpit in both respects, but the team is like such a massive part of making that operation actually happen. There’s so much camaraderie between everybody. It was like a family away from home as it is for us in Formula 1. Awesome experience, so yeah, a lot of respect for what they’re doing.

JM: The inverse of that… what’s the most boring thing about being an F1 driver? You can say interviews like these, I won’t be offended.

GR: What do you think is the most boring thing about being an F1 driver?

JM: Probably interviews like these, no? Being pulled left, right and centre the whole time. How about time on a plane?

GR: I want to do the numbers but I reckon over the course of a year we would spend closing in on I’d go as far as almost a month a whole month on a plane. All of the flights within Europe alone, I’m doing probably five flights a week on average.

There are 4,000 people who travel the world for Formula 1, and it’s a very luxurious lifestyle on the face of it, but a lot of time away from home, away from loved ones, a lot of time zone shifts, brutal on the body, but you know we wouldn’t change it for the world because we love what we do. It’s the best job in the world.

JM: Let’s talk Vegas. It didn’t go quite according to plan for you last year, but was such a momentous occasion for the sport and to be under the lights. Talk us through that first time you drove the car down that strip.

GR: It was fast and bumpy, one hell of a ride. On the face of it, the circuit seemed pretty underwhelming, but when we drove it, it had a huge amount of character. It was great for racing and it was very challenging to drive — really low grip. We were the only category racing, so the track was very green and dusty, so for drivers it was a unique challenge.

I think in the race we were doing about 350 km/h, it was very difficult to spot the breaking points 120 metres out. When you’re racing in the dark, you’ve got the buildings between you, all the lights at such wild speeds, it was surreal.

JM: Aside from the obvious, do you have a personal goal for 2024 that gives us some sort of insight into the man that is George Russell? It could be getting better at Spanish on Duolingo…

GR: [Laughs] My girlfriend would love that. No, just to enjoy the journey. I think it’s so easy to get caught up in the competitive nature of the sport and the emotional rollercoaster that you go through, the highs and the lows. It’s a psychological toll on the body, so you need to turn that into good energy and positivity, happiness. And that’s what I’m gonna try and do a bit more of in 2024. We’ve all got this one life and you just need to maximise it and the days fly by.

JM: On that same thought then, you’ve got the likes of Fernando — who we wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still racing when he’s 50 — and then you’ve got Nico who’s out on top after taking the championship. Are you a race until the body says no, kind of guy?

GR: I’ll be here for a long time. I don’t know what I’d do without it, to be honest. I’m not one of these guys who has all of these interests outside the sport. Some people need their passions outside to disconnect as a way of enhancing their performance on the track, and I respect that. For me, my life is racing. But I’m far from achieving what I set out to and believe I’m capable of.

The seasons are becoming intense, very intense, and increasingly more challenging with the number of races. I’m fit and healthy and young at the moment, and I’m dealing with it absolutely fine, but I want to make sure that in 10 years’ time, when I’m 35 that I can deal with a 24 race calendar and I’m still fit and I’m still performing on the top of my game.

JM: When you get off the plane here in Melbourne, what excites you most about the weekend ahead?

GR: Those first laps and the first practice, that’s always a really exciting moment because you head into a race weekend with the unknown. We have an indication of what this weekend’s going to bring. We’re pretty confident a Red Bull is going to be at the sharp end of the grid.

We don’t know if we’re going to be up there fighting with them, if we’re going to be on the back foot, if the car’s going to be performing well, if I’m going to be performing well and those you get an indication after about three laps on track of how your weekend’s gonna pan out and it’s always a really exciting moment, the unknown. I just can’t wait to jump into that car again.

[myimaginarywonderland]

F1 is killing itself. It started years ago and it has continued on ever since.

How you might ask? Well for starters let's talk about broadcasting. I can only speak for my country (Germany) but F1 has been taken off any market and made an exclusive Sky sports product. Which is terrible considering it was basically never before behind a pay wall and the TV commentator team had been there for such a long time that even my parents/grandparents knew about them. When you have such a well established commentary team and then not only take that away but also basically put F1 behind a paywall, you are going to lose viewers.

Then, F1 marketing has someone been some of the worst it has been in years. In theory when you have something like DTS it should be an opportunity, a chance to show some of the behind the scenes. Instead, what you get when you watch it is made up drama, fake rivalries etc. Yes it might attract viewers but it gives a compleltly wrong picture of the sport and almost all of the drivers.

Adding onto that, there's the Vegas GP. I think everyone knows that Monaco is prestigious, the F1 track that is probably most considered flashy but F1 is trying to do that with the Vegas GP. Why? No one knows. Also no one cares. The reason why most people are excited wasn't even the race, it was because a driver who currently isn't even driving wanted to have a race there. Fans do not look forward to racing there, instead the most anticipated thing is the stories that might happen outside of all racing. That tells you everything you need to know about that GP. Yeah, they want to attract viewers with it and visitors and oh, what was that? No one in their normal life could afford those tickets. Yeah, that's what I thought. Going to F1 GPs has become so expensive that many people can't even afford it and adding even more expensive venues to that is not going to help in any way.

While we are already talking about GPs, how about we acknowledge the fact that having the current season is absolutely insane? Not only are there's weird small gaps between races not enough to give drivers a rest, we also are harming the mechanics life more and more by basically not allowing them to see their family or be able to take a break. Not to mention how insane the spread out of races is to make them even more inaccessible and environmentally damaging.

While are already talking about tracks, maybe it's time to acknowledge that this calendar is for the most part boring? Sure there are some good tracks but by removing so many beloved tracks that have brought actual great racing, F1 is further digging itself a deeper hole. And also, don't call yourself a world championship when we still have no races in Africa. (I will mourn this until it changes especially now having seen with Formula E how well the Cape Town race was visitied.)

We could also talk about other things like how a crash that could have killed a driver should not be nominated for any award or how Abu Dhabi was a fundamental moment that marked the sport priorizing spectacle over safety but that's just going to make this post longer and longer.

So, let's talk about why we removing free practice is one of the worst ideas possible and for me personally will lead to a point where F1 can't return from.

Free practice might not be watched by many fans because it is on a Friday, a workday. And depending on where the timezones are going to complicate that further which is totally alright. Free practice doesn't need to be watched by everyone. It however for fans gives them an opportunity to get familiar with the track or in some cases is even maybe the only way a fan might come to a race considering the tickets for Friday are the cheapest. It offers new fans an opportunity to have a look at the track layout and not be thrown in complelty without any knowledge. Furthermore it's an opportunity to learn for maybe more strategic fans how possible strategies might look like, what things might be taken advantage of etc.

But that's not even what it is about. Free practice first and foremost is for the drivers and engineers. It gives drivers time to test out different setups, offers engineers to opportunity to test race strategies, is a chance to see how much conditions have changed etc. It is important for the safety of the paddock as it gives drivers to opportunity to get familiar again with the track and test limits before actually having to race. It helps to get out of the vast majority of unknown conditions and get into a territory where drivers feel comfortable with the track and the car. It is crucial to the safety first and foremost.

Getting ride of free practice would not only be a huge lose for fans but it would also mark the final point of no return where drivers safety truly stops being a concern.

Getting ride of free practice would be the final nail in the coffin and would be another reason we can later out to a list of all the things that probably led to a fatal accident.

F1 claims to know things aren't what the fans what and yet I have not once seen them even approach fans to ask for their opinion. Instead of gaining fans with their actions F1 is actively pushing them away.

[callmewrinkles3]

I know these are so many questions, hope you don’t mind. I love Emmy 🩷

7,11,17,37,44,49,52,56,59,65

7 How would they react to a theme park? Do they like rollercoasters? The games? The food? The other rides? She LOVES them. So so much. No so much rollercoasters or fast rides, maybe the smallest one and while Dan is holding her hand. But she loves all the rest. Her times at Disney with Dan and his family or even with Charlie, Dan and Blake are some of her happiest days.

11 Do they play any sports? If so, which ones? How do they feel about sports in general? Do they like to watch any? She’s the least sporty human being ever. She likes football, she’s a Liverpool fan, but then that’s it. She got stuck into F1 because of her boys but she had no idea about it before she met Blake.

17 How do they feel about Halloween and how do they celebrate it? She always thought it was fun, especially the decorations, but she never really celebrated it until Dan. Its really fun to do customs and stuff with him around, so she ended up loving it. It just got even better when they had kids.

37 How do they feel about the rain? What do they do when it’s raining? She loves the rain. There’s something about the smell when it rains that gives her peace. The sound also makes her sleep better. The one time she hates rain is when Dan has to race in the rain. If she normally gets nervous in dry races it’s just way worse in rainy ones. Also rainy days at home with Dan are everything to her. Its cuddles under a blanket while watching a movie or just having some slow sex or talking. She loves the sun, but the rain is one of the thing she misses the most while living in Perth.

44 What’s their favorite possession of theirs and why? Its the first pair of Vans Dan got her. They were just seeing each other, Em randomly mentioned she needed to go buy new shoes because hers were falling apart. Before she could go to Primark Dan showed up with a brand new pair of purple Vans that Em’s bank account couldn’t really afford. For Dan it was really no big deal, but for her it meant everything. After that its the Captain Croc plushie Dan got her. Then her collection of helmets.

49 How clingy are they? What do they act like? When she’s in public she’s the most normal human being, but give her an empty room with Dan for two seconds and she’s the clingiest human being ever existed. Hanging from his neck is probably one of her favourite things in the world, right after having his arms all around her.

52 On an average day, what can be found in their pockets? Girl pockets are Too Small so its just her phone. But she has everything in her bag, there’s always her wallet, her laptop, earplugs, her Beats, some stuff to fix her makeup if needed, snacks for Dan, some of her pills, London the bear, and her paddock pass and her passport.

56 What are some pet names they would use for their significant other? How do they feel about pet names in general? She went from no pet names to so many its irrational and she loves it. It makes her happy. And her go to names with Dan are Baby and Love.

59 How do they feel about cuddling/snuggling? She’s the cuddles queen. She loves it. She would never say no to a five minutes snuggle with her boy. It brings her happiness and makes her feel safe.

65 What are their thoughts/relationship with death? She’s terrified. The only deaths she really had to face was a family members when she was too young to really remember. But then she has to somehow face it every weekend. The man she loves races F1 cars, she faces losing the love of her life literally half of the weekends every year, so it terrifies her. She tries to not think about it much, but its one of her biggest nightmares. More than once Dan has had to wake her up from her sleep because of her nightmares. With time the most scary part it’s something suddenly happening to her or her babies. Because if it does she won’t know, but what would happen to her family? She’s a protector and if she’s not around who will protect her babies if she can’t do it? Who’s gonna protect Dan? And if something happens to her family who is she gonna be able to keep going?

[yesterdayiwrote]

Hi! I’m still pretty new here and so wanted to get to know those I follow a lil better so thought I’d ask some q’s!!

Feel free to answer 😌 (or ignore.. that’s fine too heh)

What’s your fave ice cream flavour?

Who’s your fave driver?

What is it about your fave driver that makes them your fave?

Face holiday destination you’d like to visit?

Fave driver pairing?

Dream job when you were a child? Is it your job now?

Dream f1 team driver pairing?

Do you have a special talent?

If you could decide an f1 track anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Fave animal?

Top prediction for the 2024 season?

☺️

Hey, sorry it took me a few days to answer this! For some reasons questions about me are harder to answer!

What’s your fave ice cream flavour? My favourite ever Ice cream flavour was a Ben and Jerry's one called Birthday Cake but they discontinued it and I'm devastated! It was a cake batter ice cream (so vanilla basically) and had cake pieces, a strawberry sauce running through it AND a pink frosting ripple and it was DIVINE. I'm always partial to a mint choc chip though, it's usually pretty fool proof.

Who’s your fave driver? It's between George and Alex. George is more of my ride or die but Alex has been making serious catch up strides recently. Lewis was kinda my first 'fave' out of the current drivers so I'll always have a soft spot for him. (My first ever fave was Jacques Villeneuve though, lmao. Young me wanted to marry him and got very jealous of Dannii Minogue at one point when it looked like she might. Older me... not so much)

What is it about your fave driver that makes them your fave? Sakhir was when I really looked at George and had a real 'I shall call him fluffy and he shall be mine and he shall be my fluffy!' Moment and jumped feet first back in to fandom. I kind of relate to the awkward, maybe slightly repressed, brit vibe he gives off? Which I think Alex also possesses but in a different font? The sarcastic, dry sense of humour that also gets misconstrued. Their friendship is also very dear to me. Idk that you always choose your favourite driver as much as they choose you!

Face holiday destination you’d like to visit? So I am a terrible traveller to the extent I kinda hate holidays. I'm a bit of a homebird and just get in an anxious mess when I travel. I see loads of things to do online or on TV and then I get there and get put off by the price or the effort and so do nothing 🤣. In an ideal world where none of that happened and I was an effective traveller though.... I'd like to see Sydney in Australia. I've also wanted to go to Amsterdam for the longest time and it's not even that far, I just never have for some reason?

Fave driver pairing? In terms of combined ability, I still think it's George and Lewis. I don't know that they're always my favourite to watch interact, lmao, but if I was a TP, I think that's still the lineup I'd go for.

Dream job when you were a child? Is it your job now? When I was younger I kind of desperately wanted to work in TV as a TV presenter, not even for the fame aspect, it just looked like a really fun job and I was obsessed with TV and the media and just wanted to work within it. I studied media obsessively for quite a long time, then I hit my late teens, lost all my confidence, realised the TV industry could be fkn hell to get into and needless to say it is NOT my job now.

Dream f1 team driver pairing? From a purely selfish perspective it would be George and Alex, although I fear I'm headed for an Icarus type fate by wishing for that. VERY cursed by the narrative.

Do you have a special talent? Talking shit? Overthinking things? Lol, I'm not sure I have a definable talent? I have things I'm quite good at, but nothing that would make people go wow!

If you could decide an f1 track anywhere in the world, where would it be? Somewhere affordable with decent facilities, good access for fans and a good circuit that makes for interesting racing! I think it would be great to have a GP in Africa, but I think they're still a long way from anywhere being suitable and really the only viable place right now seems to be Kyalami or somewhere within South Africa. That said, given where the FIA gala is this year, I'm fully expecting some kind of Kigali street circuit to suddenly be announced... /s

Fave animal? I am decidedly not an animal person I'm afraid. Not sure why, they just freak me out. I love a cute animal photo or video, but actually being in the vicinity of them I always get a bit... tetchy?

Top prediction for the 2024 season? Boringly, I'm expecting more of the same, although f1 is one of those sports where you can't predict much until the first race and you've seen where everyone stands. I'm hoping for a second George win. I'm kind of expecting Lando will finally break his victory curse this year too at some point, although I kind of think it's funnier if he doesn't?

[eleyhsa]

one more earlier episode of valtteri's podcast i never translated, this is the last one i promise 😅 episode title: money

oskari: let's start with how much money do you have? valtteri: it's pretty hard to say because i have invested quite a lot of it, but yeah, a lot i guess. enough that i don't need to back my bags and go drive cars around in circles if i don't want to. oskari: do you consider yourself rich? valtteri: yeah of course, compared to where I came from, yeah i'm rich in a money sense -------

oskari: forbes does these, sophisticated guesses let's call them, every year and they say your payroll is around 8-10m every year, how close is that to the truth? valtteri: if the season goes well, meaning i get all the bonuses i'm supposed to get, it's more than that actually oskari: how much was your payroll at williams? valtteri: 2010 was kinda my first year working for them and at the time it was 40 000 pounds a year, and then it rose some amounts every year, and my first year as a f1 driver i think it was around 300k -------

oskari: you already mentioned that considering where you came from you feel very rich, so what was your background like, because we are not talking about a rich kid right? valtteri: yeah no, to me i'm from a pretty basic finnish family, priviledged in a sense that we had our own house and i could go to school, start playing hockey which is not a cheap sport and do karting since I was 6, with a used car, used overall and a used helmet, a used helmet is something I do not recommend! karting took more and more money every year and I was lucky that a lot of local companies helped me financially because they saw how much I loved karting and that i had some talent as well. some of these companies also supported me long term when my family truly couldn't pay for it any more. oskari: where was that line for you when the family money wasn't enough anymore? valtteri: we got quite far i think, it was my first year in formula renault with the Koiranen team. We found just enough outside help that with not testing as much as maybe other kids were because I couldn't pay for it, I could drive for them and Koiranen kinda met me halfway with that. But yeah, at that point no change to pay for it yourself because I think a season cost around 100k at that point.

---------

rane, valtteri's dad: we got around 300k from finland and even that was thight, meaning we couldn't afford any crashes. but after he won his first race in 2008 my phone started ringing with people like mika häkkinen and toto wolff and then there was some difficulty to choose, renault was really interested at the time about valtteri, so we had kind of three directions to go, and i told valtteri and he has to choose for himself what feels right and he told me he liked toto. i think both me and valtteri also liked the idea of not being tied to any team, not to renault or even ferrari who he also visited that season.

oskari: have you ever tried to calculate how much you have spent of your own money on valtteri's career? rane: i have tried at some point, i definitely think it's more than this house we're sitting in now, luckily my cleaning services were often needed (laughing) oskari: i don't think many people know that you have a cleaning company and this is something that interests me because i think people learn a lot from their homes, do you see any "entrepreuner spirit" in valtteri? rane: quite a lot actually, when he turned 18 he started doing his own negotiations. when he was trying to get into f1 he was alone on the road, i paid for plane tickets and he would call me and explain what was said. of course we travelled a lot together in his early career so we know each other quite well and i think doing that on his own helped him learn a lot. even back in karting i took him with me to see sponsors so he would understand how much this all costs and because it's no rocket science you know, a lot of people are ashamed to ask for money but it's quite simple: you put a budget on the paper, here's our season targets, how much money can you give. valtteri learned to do that quite young. oskari: do you remember the day valtteri signed his first f1 contract? rane: yeah, very well! they were some special moments, and you actually sent me a text to congratulate me as well! oskari: yeah i did! rane: i went to see his first race and i definitely actually pinched myself in melbourne

---------

valtteri: 2008 was a good season so I got my managers in toto, mika and didier coton, and whatever i couldn't get from sponsor they would give from their own pockets oskari: how much was that do you think? valtteri: probably around 2.5 million that I have paid back now, so it's no charity in this sport. but i definitely wouldn't have made it to f1 without them.

-------

oskari: you're going into alfa romeo, while recording this it's still quite a new contract, you do your own negotiations is that correct? valtteri: most of them yes, for example all my mercedes contracts, but didier helped me with this one because the season was so busy and intense and i didn't really have the time oskari: how many options did you have? valtteri: pretty much two clear possibilities oskari: and after signing the contract you got a pretty interesting call right? valtteri: like two days after signing i got a call from an another team and they basically said "we can pay twice as much, and we want you", i just told them that you're a bit late. it just shows what kind of circus this thing is *laughing*

-------

oskari: what kind of money user are you? valtteri: when i first started making it pretty stingy, for example i wanted a simple rowboat for my cottage so i started asking around for a used one, and i had been a f1 drivers for like two years at that point already. it still hurts to pay 10 dollars for a goddamn water bottle in a hotel but I guess I'm not that stingy anymore because I still buy it *laughing*

[soyouthinkucanwrite]

The money thing (part 1/2) - Daniel Ricciardo

It's always the little things, isn't it? The smallest stupidest things make almost no difference and then make all the difference in the world. They make everything special, but they also have the power to tear everything appart.

You and Daniel fight about money for the thousand time and he's had enough of it.

Warnings: super angst, but with a happy ending :)

Guys, this turned out WAY BIGGER than I expected, so I'm just gonna do a part 2, okay? Okay, thanks for understanding!

Song that inspired me: A list by HVOB

You and Daniel had been dating for a couple months now, having met through a common friend and hitting off almost instantly. You lived in Amsterdam and he, well he lived all over the world really, but his "time off" (meaning not racing) was spent between Monaco and London (for work), and Amsterdam now too, of course.

The changes were small and subtle at the beginning, like your weekends being spent traveling to meet him wherever in the world he was and consequently spending almost all your savings on plane tickets. You never complained to him (you planned on spending the money traveling anyway, so you didn't see the point), but didn't accept when he offered to buy your tickets, either. There's been some awkwardness around the subject but it usually died on its own.

*beginning of flashback*

"You’d have gotten here in time if you'd gotten the early flight like I told you" you remembered him saying that time you got in the paddock after the qualifying session had begun and couldn’t kiss him good luck.

"Baby, I told you. It was crazy expensive! Absurd even!"

"(y/n) for god's sake! What are we saving money for? I told you, you have my credit card number, I've offered to get you one, this is ridiculous, I can't believe I literally earn millions and my girlfriend wasn't there with me because the ticket was too expensive! I'll fucking fly you private if I have to!" he was almost yelling in his driver's room. You could only stare from the corner.

He took a deep breath running his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It's just... it was crap out there. I needed you" you grimaced at his words.

"Sorry. I really am..." you tried to approach him. "I'm here now?" you touched his arm. "It can't have been that bad, you're still on the top 10 and we both know what you can do from the 8th car..." you smiled at him.

*end of flashback*

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).

The thing is, you always had trouble dealing with money. Sure, you liked to pay for your own stuff so as to not owe anything to anyone (especially boys), but it was so much deeper than that. Ever since a kid, you hated asking for money from your parents, and sometimes even the thought of buying stuff that was a bit more expensive made you sick. You couldn't explain why, you just felt guilty having so much and knowing that most people have never even seen that amount. It's not that you didn't want to spend it and save for the sake of it, you just didn't handle the idea of money very well. Needless to say, dating a millionnaire was bound to cause trouble in the relationship for you.

You were currently at his place in Monaco. It was the summer break and you had decided to spend some days just chilling at home, just the two of you - which you were glad since going out means hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes... and, let's be honest, the kind of places he usually took you is not the kind of places you just throw something together last minute (the Instagram models and other driver's girlfriends looking you up and down were enough to make you think about spending money you did not have to hire a stylist or something like that). The whole situation was really stressing you out and you knew you would have to be honest with him eventually, instead of only dodging the subject and refusing most of his offers to pay. You tried to. You kind of tried. You suggested staying at home, in bed, most of the time, and he gladly agreed, but that strategy wasn't gonna work forever. You had to be honest with him. But at the same time, you knew what he was going to say and do, and the thought of him spending money on you, even if just by handling the restaurant bill, wasn't something you were much more comfortable with. Besides, it was only a matter of time before the "gold-digger" term starts to fly around in the small world that was the F1's.

You were laying on his couch, the Olympics playing on the TV but you were too busy overthinking the money thing to pay attention. Daniel was laying with his head on your lap, absently caressing your thigh and watching the TV. His phone went off and he moved to pick it up.

"Hello?" you watched as he answered the phone. "Hey mate, how's it going? Uh nothing, we're just chilling at home. Getting some rest... Yeah, I'm getting rested, you dirty-minded son of a bitch" you rolled your eyes while he laughed out loud on the line with someone. "Yeah, I know... the 19th is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Alright, mate. Thanks for calling. Have a good one! Bye!" he hanged up and leaned in to peck you on the lips.

"Good news?" you asked him.

"Not really. Just wanted to kiss you" he shrugged, smiling. You smiled back and hugged him, pulling him in for another kiss. He was always so caring with you, always finding an excuse to kiss or touch you. You knew some people didn't like it, but you loved it. Physical touch was definitely one of your love languages.

"What's happening on the 19th then?" you asked him once you guys set apart from the kiss.

"Gotta be in London. Gonna run some testings and other boring race stuff..."

"Hum..." you hummed in understanding.

"You know what would make it less boring though?" he asked and you just looked at him, you already knew what he was going to ask you and it wasn't that you didn't want to spend every minute of the day with him, but you simply couldn't afford any more traveling, especially not in such short notice. "If you came with me. Huh? What do you say? A week in the Queen's land? Then we can fly together to Spa and after the race, I can go with you to Amsterdam. The next one it's the Dutch GP anyway, I'll just get there sooner" he laughed. It was crushing you, the man of your dreams was literally beaming at making plans with you, talking about spending the next few weeks glued together and you couldn't say yes.

"Dan, I have to work" you smiled sadly.

"Can't you work from distance? Or, I don't know, I mean... I know it's tiring, but you could come to London and fly home a bit early, then just meet me in Belgium?" great, his solution includes even more flying. And the thing is, you really didn't mind the flying. You always slept during the whole thing anyway, so you never got tired and the jetlag was minimal. You could work from distance, sure. Your boss wouldn't mind, as long as you got there eventually to check in on everything. But the whole logistics were just too expensive. There was no way you could afford it.

"I... sorry, I don't think I can" you said sadly and watched as his face dropped.

"That's fine, baby. I get it. I'm asking too much, all this traveling... don't worry about it" he tried to mask his emotions but you knew better. He knew you could in fact work from distance, so he was probably thinking the reason you couldn't do it was because you didn't want to.

He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you couldn't help but bury your face in your palms. This was so frustrating!

"You wanna go for a run or something? Maybe get something to eat?" he called from the kitchen, already moving on from the subject. You knew this whole thing was only gonna keep build up till he got tired of your excuses or you blowing up, probably the former, but you just keep going.

"Yeah, sure" you answered, getting up from the couch.

You and Daniel were both very active so going for a run, hiking, riding bikes, or whatever in the middle of the day was really routine for you. The Monaco summer weather was as beautiful as always and the sun was shining bright. You enjoyed the rest of your afternoon racing each other, kissing in the harbor, and just taking in the views, spending quality time together. Money wasn't even a thing in your bubble for a while.

"I'm getting hungry" he said on the way back home.

"Me too, and I'm super hot. I could go for a juice or something right now" you were all sweaty from the running, but you didn't care, he was too.

"You're always hot baby, I don't think juice gonna help with that" he grinned at you and you just rolled your eyes at him.

You passed by one of his favorite spots for food, nearby his place and he suggested getting some take-out, to which you agreed.

"Green juice, and a chicken wrap?" you tried to decide while the both of you waited in line.

"I'll never understand how you drink that"

"I've seen you drink that too, it's actually very refreshing"

"Because I'm forced to, I'm a high-performance athlete baby. But I'm on a break, so I'll have a coke, thank you very much" you laughed at him. He was holding your hand and tried to kiss you, wrapping his arm around you, you didn't dodge his kiss, you would never, but still laughed at the fact he wanted to kiss the sweaty mess you were right now.

"I'm gross, only you" you laughed.

"That's my baby, with no makeup she a ten" he rapped shrugging and grinning.

"Alright Lil Wayne, I know that one, don't even finish the verse" you laughed at him, making him laugh out loud, getting everyone's in the restaurant's attention.

"It's true, though"

"Sure..." You just shook your head smiling. Then you heard someone call his name.

"Hey! Daniel!" you both turned around to see Charles and Charlotte sitting in a corner, him waving at you two. You had met Charles a couple of times before but never spoke too much to him. They seemed to be leaving anyway, so they walked towards you guys, instead of towards the door.

"Hey mate, how's it going?" Daniel greeted him with a handshake. "Hey, Charlotte! You know (y/n) yet?"

"Hi! I don't think so, hi! How are you?" she greeted you smiling.

"Hi! Nice to meet you. Hi, Charles!" you said.

"Hey, (y/n). You're keeping him in line during the break? Char won't let me cheat my diet either" he laughed.

"Oh, that ship has sailed long ago! Daniel will just roll into the paddock if it's up to him" you laughed back.

"Hey! I think I've earned the right to some extra calories, we've been working out extra hard lately" Daniel said waving his eyebrows suggestively, making Charlotte giggle, Charles rolls his eyes and you go even redder than you were from the actual workout, while he just laughed out loud.

"I don't even want to know" Charles said. "Always great running into you mate" he was getting ready to say goodbye.

"Are we seeing you guys tomorrow?" Charlotte asked you.

"Tomorrow?" you asked her.

"Stefano's birthday" she said like it was obvious. Stefano Domenicali was the President and CEO of Formula 1, but you didn't know that yet - still, her tone made it seems like it was someone Daniel knew, so you just looked at him. He just rubbed his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, wait. Please tell me I didn't just said something I shouldn't" she looked at Charles.

"No, no. He invited me. Us, actually" Daniel reassured her. "I don't think we're going though, forgot to mention to you" he said looking at you.

"Uh mate, I wouldn't skip that if I were you. He didn't even invite all the drivers I heard" Charles said. "Maybe just stop by to say hello?"

"Stop by... a yacht... at the sea?" Charlotte said grinning at him. Daniel looked at you.

"You feel like going? It should be fun" he asked you.

"Sounds fancy... I mean, I don't mind if you go" you said.

"Common... I’m not going alone" he nudged you.

"I don't even have anything to wear, Dan" you told him.

"Oh! We can go shopping together!" Charlotte said and you had almost forgotten they were still there.

"Perfect!" Daniel answered for you. You could only imagine the types of stores she shopped.

"Tomorrow morning, then? Daniel can text your address to Charles for me? I'll pick you up!" she was being really nice about it.

"I thought you wanted to go today?" Charles said.

"That's when I thought I would have to go shopping with you, so I could use the extra time since you're the worst shopping partner ever!" she laughed at him.

"Burn!" Daniel laughed.

"His fashion taste is not the most reliable, let's face it" she laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's a date then (y/n)?" she looked expectantly at you. You didn't want to let her down, it was so hard to make friends with the girlfriends of other drivers, they were usually so... not nice. You could always just help her and find something to wear in your own stuff later.

"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow, at 10?" you said simply.

"Perfect!" she beamed.

>>> end of part 1 <<<

[livetogether--diealone]

I’m new to actively following F1. Being a POC from the UK Hamilton has always been my guy but I do love Charles as well considering Ferrari has always been my team. I missed most of what happened last year minus the last race but so I’m not sure what MV and or his team did to Lewis other than get a fraudulent championship win. Would you mind explaining what happened or pointing me in a direction I can find out? I’ve not ever been a fan of MV, he seems far to arrogant and egotistical for my liking but I never paid too much attention to him but reading a bit of what is said I feel like I missed a lot which would confirm my judgement of him?

Hello anon welcome to the circus I guess!!!

So sorry that the last race was your more active experience of f1, truly a low point in this sport.

About your ask, the main issue is redbull top management, so Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. They always had back handed compliment for Lewis and Mercedes, but things got really bad at Silverstone after Lewis and Max crash, Horner was going around the paddock talking about how Lewis wanted to kill Max, leaning way too harder on the big bad scary black man stereotype. This obviously fueled so much hate towards Lewis from rb fans, and most of the comments were filled with slurs, many social platforms had to intervene and start cancelling comments. This kept escalating over the whole season, some mv fans even planned to throw tomatoes at Lewis at Spa. After Silverstone the GPDA issued a statement about how they don't condone the racial abuse Lewis had to suffer after the british gp, i think all drivers (or most of them) reposted it (some add it a little personal note too) but Max stayed silent on the matter, even when the abuse was coming mainly from his fanbase. Then we had J*s Verstappen (max's father) accusing Angela of handing Lewis illicit substances in the paddock when she was passing him a hair elastic, so more racial connotations in their accusations. Helmut also made racially charged comments toward other rb affiliated drivers, he said Yuki Tsunoda was not your typical calm and docile asian and this year when Checo said he was scared because of the missile attacks in Jeddah Helmut said that he shouldn't because being mexican this should be the norm for him. Also at all the races Lewis was the only driver boo-ed (exept in Brazil bless them) especially from rb/max supporters. And after all of this, they had the audacity to say oh it's nice to see Lewis taking the loss of the championship with such grace, like he could afford to look angry. Also Max himself isn't new to using slurs, see with Lance Stroll. But mostly he enables this behaviour from his team and from his fans, which makes him no better than them.

And with this new season, rb top people are going around saying how everything is so respectful between Charles and Max, like last year the toxicity didn't come from their side, but you know Charles is a white guy so

[f1united]

Test - DR3 Imagine

Part 3 to Zoo!

Part 1     Part 2

Daniel Ricciardo Imagine

Summary: You and Daniel take a pregnancy test :)

This contains mentions of pregnancy and fertility so please do not read if this is something you may find triggering!

Let me know if you have any f1 requests!

The days you had kept this to yourself had allowed you to think a million times over how Daniel would react. The discussion you had was brief but not forgotten and you had expected to have to wait many months before anything came of it. Daniel was older and capable of doing pretty much whatever he wanted in life and you knew that without his support through this you would have to work twice as hard as you already were to even provide your child with a glimpse of the life that he could. You were smart with your money, invested and saved where you wanted to and tried not to rely on Daniel for much however there was no chance you could afford even a years rent on the apartment he had in Monaco, let alone have multi-million mansions over the world. He could have anything he wanted, and you didn’t want to be the thing that unwillingly tied him down.

You didn’t break eye contact when you told him. Although he was such a confident, outgoing person you had learnt over the years that his eyes said a lot. You had to know him to notice the depth of emotions that they showed, and you’d slowly figured it out. You weren’t sure if he knew that’s how you could read him like a book and you never dared to tell him in fear that he might try masking it in the future.

The daunting outcomes you’d replayed in you head had vanished the second his eyes met yours. You were expecting shock, a frown at least, neither of which came. Instead his signature smile gave you all the reassurance you needed and his eyes lit up as he placed his hands on your hips, grasping them tightly.

“Are you serious!” you nodded your head at his words, the worry fading away at the joy in his voice. Your tears were still somewhat there but now falling due to happiness and excitement.

“I was waiting until you got home to do a test” Admittedly you had wanted to do a test the minute you’d left the shop but refrained until Daniel would be with you. If you were honest it was more for your own emotional support than anything else.

“Well let’s go do one!” you wiped the tears from your face as you lifted yourself off Daniel and headed towards the bathroom following his instructions. One of your hands was rummaging around in the cabinet while the other was tightly gripped by your boyfriend who showed no signs of letting it go as you sat on the toilet. A giggle past your lips as you looked up at him.

“What” he smiled down at you.

“I don’t know if I can wee with you this close to me, I’m getting stage fright”

“Are you kidding?!” he asked, “You’ve done it plenty of times before!”

“I know just let me try and concentrate” You looked down at the floor in front of you and took a deep breath before the room fell silent, the bathroom fan the only noise echoing throughout the apartment. It only lasted about 5 seconds until you both burst out into laughter.

“I can’t wee” you pouted your bottom lip out at him which he brushed off with a light kiss to your lips.

“I’ll go and grab you some water” he planted a kiss on your forehead before letting go of your hand. It was only then that you realised you were both still naked.

“Nice arse” you commented as he walked back into the bedroom and threw on his boxers you’d stripped him of earlier. He threw a smirk over his shoulder as he left the bedroom and headed to the kitchen. With him gone you were able to wee in peace and placed the test on the side of the sink, covering the display with the leaflet it came with so you wouldn’t take a sneaky look. Daniel returned as you were putting your underwear back on.

“I’ve set the timer for two minutes” you informed his as you threw your phone back onto the bed before sitting on the edge and pulling on some joggers.

“Oh, so you can pee when I leave?” he laughed as he placed the water on the side.

“I told you” you got up and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Stage fright”

“After that little show you just gave me I wouldn’t have thought stage fright was even in your vocabulary” his forehead resting against yours meant he saw your eyes roll back before he’d even finished his sentence.

“Well Mr Ricciardo, only the best for you” your lips gently brushed his as you teased him. You were so grateful to have him home, you missed everything about him when he was gone. His smile, his smell, his hair. Your fingertips were slowly tracing the muscles on his back when he caught your lips in his, having enough of the teasing and wanting no space between you.

It wasn’t long before he hooked his hands around the back of your thighs and you were jumping up to wrap your legs around his waist for the second time that night. He turned you both around so he could sit on the edge of the bed giving you all the power of being on top, something he didn’t willingly do this easily. The two of you were abruptly broken apart by the sound of the timer ending. Daniel reached out to grab your phone as he felt your body stiffen above him.

“You ready?” he asked as you slowly climbed off him.

“I guess so” you smiled as you headed for the bathroom.

“Should I record it for our parents to see?” he asked as he grabbed his phone off the nightstand. You’d been so focused in telling Daniel that you’d completely forgotten about the rest of the world.

“Yeah, it will be nice to look back on” he placed his phone on the counter before standing behind you and placing his head on your shoulder. His arms snaked around your waist as you picked the test up, bringing it to eye level. You both narrowed your eyes at the results and you gasped slightly.

“Oh my god” Daniel whispered as you brought one hand up to cover your mouth. “Is that a second line?”. The line was faint, very faint, but there.

“I can’t tell if I’m imagining it” you spoke so quietly as if you were afraid of it disappearing from the sound of your voice.

“I don’t think we are” he spoke just as quietly as you looked up at him. You placed your free hand on the side of his face as you brought him in for a kiss.

“Should we get a digital one?” you suggested, “That way we can definitely tell”

Daniel didn’t have a clue about the types of tests you could get but nodded nonetheless, knowing that if you suggested it then it was probably so you could put your own mind at rest. He took the test from your hands and showed it to the camera before ending the video with a smile. You threw on Daniels hoodie that you’d been wearing since he’d been away. You noticed it sat onto of the wash bin and probably should’ve added it to the rest of your laundry but couldn’t quite bring yourself to wash away his smell until he was back.

“I can quickly run down there on my own” you offered as you slipped on some shoes and slipped your phone into your pocket.

“Don’t be silly I’m coming with you” he replied as he threw back on the clothes he was wearing earlier.

“I don’t think we’ve ever got dressed so fast” you commented as you both headed for the door.

“I’d say we’ve been faster in my drivers’ room” he grabbed his keys off the side as you followed him out the door.

“Yeah that’s a good point actually” you chuckled at his comment, “They should really invest in better locking systems for those things and not ones that can open from the outside too”

[yuki-tsunodas]

The Player's Tribune: I will never forget the tears I shed that day

Article published 25 March 2021, originally written by Yuki Tsunoda in Japanese.

I translated the article with help from Google Translate and Naver Translator + my own interpretations of their rubbish translating, so apologies in advance for any mistakes! Anything I had trouble translating will be bolded with a (?) next to it!!

　I think that was the last time I cried in frustration, in regret.

　Four years ago, I was only 16 years old and was a student at Suzuka Circuit Racing School. It was the final selection to join Honda's Driver Development Program. If I pass, I can run in Japanese F4 the following year, but if I failed...I was thinking of quitting racing at that time.

　Now, I'm standing at the entrance of the stage called F1. Looking back, that was the turning point of my life.

　Of course, I didn't know if I would pass that year's trial because there were not only those who had already run in F4 but also some drivers who had come back from overseas.

　However, I've been racing in karts since I was four years old, and I've been doing well. That year, I was the youngest ever podium finisher in my debut race in the Japanese F4 championship, which allowed me to participate in the spot (?) race, and won the Super FJ Japan's first championship. At the selection test, there were good results until the final round of selection, and I was in a position to compete for first and second place overall. So I thought I could afford to make a big mistake in the final selection, and I was confident that I would still be in the top two in the end.

　I am a strong driver. But if you can't get results here or if you can't fascinate the judges with your running, it's already known (?). So I was prepared to give up my racing career if it didn't work. I think there were many other routes to go, such as running in other training programs or non-formal races, but I don't like it when it's not the direction I want to go. I decided to live a different life rather than to do it half-heartedly.

　However, the worst result awaited. At that time, I was very weak mentally and, of all things, it showed in the final round. Even before the race, I found myself tense and stiff. My fingertips were also stiff. I was not my usual self. I started like that, but suddenly I was flying...I had to drive through the pitlane and then rejoin the course. I felt like I was running alone, far away from the previous group. I felt sorry for myself, and I didn't even feel like running anymore. As a result, the points in that race were almost zero, and Tsunoda lost in the final round.

　I was so frustrated that tears welled up naturally on the train home. It was the first time since I started racing in earnest. I was the youngest among the participants, but I was shocked because I was confident that I wouldn't lose, and I couldn't imagine anything even if I tried to think about the future. I still remember clearly that I was so depressed that I didn't even want to see my parents on my way home from the Shinkansen.

　But there was only one faint hope. That was what the then Honda F4 coach said in an interview after the screening.

　"As a training driver for Honda, you will not be able to participate in the race next year, since the Formula 4 Honda has four cars. Maybe I can put you in one of the remaining two cars running as Suzuka Racing School."

　That was because former Formula One driver Satoru Nakajima recommended me. Mr. Nakajima was the principal of the school at that time, and at the time of the final selection, he was watching us run in the final chicane.

　I was given a penalty at the start, and I was racing without emotion, but I was running hard so that I wouldn't regret it. Through the visor, I saw Satoshi Nakajima standing in the final corner. I didn't want to show Mr. Nakajima a careless run. It was a hopeless ranking, but I thought I should not give up until the end and keep running toward the group in front of me. Then the road opened.

　In 2017, Suzuka Racing decided to enter me into F4 instead of making me a training driver. Then, I suddenly ranked 3rd overall in the annual overall ranking, and the following year in 2018, I was selected as a Honda Formula Dream Project driver, and was able to become the champion.

　It's all because I was frustrated at that final selection.

　The most unusual thing is that I think it's mental. Until I had a setback, I had a feeling that I would do well until the end without doing anything. I knew I wasn't good at starting even though I failed in the previous round, and I had time to practice before that, but I didn't. There was something sweet about overconfidence. And at that time, I was afraid of making mistakes, so I didn't know how to grow up.

　After failing the selection, I realized that I was still not perfect and that I had to be faster. I realized that it is important to make a lot of mistakes without fear of making mistakes, and to make new discoveries and grow from there. Therefore, I didn't feel impatient when I didn't get points as I wanted in the early part of the F3 and F2 seasons last year after I went abroad. Rather, there was no hesitation in the process of making a lot of mistakes first and learning a lot from them.

　Takuma Sato, a former Formula One driver, now driving in Indycar, is famous for saying, "No attack, no chance," but I think that's exactly right. If you don't try beyond the limits of any sport, you won't find the future, and if you don't try, you'll stop there. Therefore, even if there are times when I make mistakes or get no results, I don't feel strangely distressed. Even if you make a mistake, it's up to you to take it. Mistakes make me want to investigate the cause. If you think that you can overcome it, you can be faster than if you regret the mistake, and you can always face it positively.

　Now that I can race in F1, I feel grateful to my parents. I've liked to move since I was a child, and I played swimming, soccer, mountain biking, and also, not sports, but piano. Now that I think about it, I feel that my father and mother were letting me do what I was interested in. And the reason why I started driving karts was also influenced by my father. My father liked motorsports and played gym carna himself. One day, at the circuit venue I was taken to, I was allowed to drive a real cart. That was the first time. Actually, I also experienced a pocket bike at that time, but after trying two, I said, "The kart is more fun." I don't really remember at all (lol).

　But there were times I got sick of karts...

　For example, when I was about seven years old. When I was playing a game while waiting at the track, my father told me to "focus more on the race," and my game was taken away, and I felt like, "I don't like it anymore." Then my father became getting tougher and tougher on me to improve me, and he scolded me for many things. To be honest, I didn't really appreciate my father until I was 15, and there was a time when I hated him. 'This is "The Rebellion Period".' I think I was in the middle of it.

　Not only my father but also my mother was strict in terms of academic matters. I was always told to study in case I didn't succeed in motorsports. My junior high school was not a public school (?), so after the race, I would go home on the day, get ready for school, go to school, study, and take the test. To be honest, it was hard and I never liked it, but I continued to study anyway.

　At that time, I couldn't thank my parents, but now I have the opposite feelings. I think I am what I am now thanks to their harshness, scolding, and teaching me a lot of things back then. Thank you so much.

　I didn't expect to be able to get to F1 this quickly. Not only are there few Japanese drivers, but they are also those taking the shorter route compared to foreign drivers.

　When I first went to see F1 at Fuji Speedway at the age of seven, Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso were running. At that time, I wasn't longing for it, but I thought "I wanted to race with drivers like this someday", and those feelings are still the same. Hamilton is already a legend, and it's an honor to run with him, but when I get on the circuit, both Hamilton and Alonso are just drivers. Think of them as enemies.

　It's the same for Max Verstappen, who I think is the fastest and strongest opponent in Formula One, and Pierre Gasly, who's my teammate in Alpha Tauri. I want to know as soon as possible how well I can handle Verstappen and how well I can compete. Gasly was active in Japan's top-category, Super Formula, when I was running in Japanese F4, and I hope I can learn a lot of things from him, but I think he's also my biggest rival that I have to beat someday because we're in the same machine.

　'In the world of F1, "speed" is ultimately required.' No matter how fast you say you are, if you show off your speed, you can make an impact, and if you have speed, you can get back in front in the second half even if you were overtaken or separated from the pack in the beginning of the race. However, it is actually the most difficult to show "speed" in a situation like this. My biggest strength is speed, so in addition to that, I want to learn more of what I lack.

　Come to think of it, at an online conference held this off-season, my goal came out big like, "I'll be a Formula One champion more than seven times, the most ever tied," but that's not what I meant.

　I haven't done a single race in Formula One yet, so I can't say that (bitter smile).

　What I'm thinking about right now is to give the best performance I have in the first race, and to get as many points as possible throughout the season. Just like F2, even if you go up to F1, you will make a lot of mistakes from the beginning to the middle of the season, but I want to learn a lot by making new discoveries there. After saying such a thing at the press conference, there was a question like, "What is Tsunoda's ambition?" So I replied, "Maybe I'll win the championship seven times like Lewis Hamilton?" which became a big headline.To be exact, I really want to concentrate on everything in front of me now, and I hope that my ambition will come true as a result of that accumulated effort.

　What kind of scene will I see in the future? I want to improve my ability and become a race driver representing the F1 world, and I think it will be a different pressure and motivation, so the expectations of the fans may be even higher.

　That's why I want to never forget how I felt when I drove in Formula One for the first time in 2021. I want to cherish the current feelings of a rookie and continue to make mistakes to my heart's content, learn a lot from them, and enjoy them.

　I don't think I'll shed tears like I did four years ago in the final selection. I will never forget the tears I shed that day. But if I were to cry from now on, what kind of tears would I have...?

　I think it's realistic to say when I first win the championship. It's very difficult to get to Formula One, but it's going to be a tough road ahead. It's really hard to win, so if I'm going to shed tears, it's probably not "regretful tears" but "happy tears".

[mistressemmedi]

no it's true that he's probably under the impression that is younger fans have a shorter attention span. While in some part it may be true, those of us who enjoy sports very much are still okay with and can & want to sit through however long these games/events (regardless of sport) take. This is common throughout all sports where the old people in charge keep saying that young people can't handle how long these things when literally no one has ever said that?? I took a class where they said this as well and kept saying that young people don't like to sit through live games and prefer just watching highlights and i was so confused because every single person I know loves to sit through live games. You can tell they don't actually involve or speak to younger people because they also never take into consideration that school and or work may play into them missing the live events and having to watch the highlights later or not being able to afford all the streaming services that each different part of a sport is on so only having access to highlights. There also tends to be no access to full replays unless you pay extra or have a certain service so highlights are your only option. That's not to say that some people don't have shorter attention spans or don't like how long some events are but they surely aren't the majority and there isn't a need to shorten races or game length (i've seen this discussion across multiple sports) and to add more games and risk injuring players

I mean... I'm looking at the average userbase here on tumblr, we get F1 trending every single race weekend (multiple days even) with people creating content/liveblogging events (whether they be races/quali etc). This is not taking in consideration people who liveblog/create content without using the official "f1" tag. F1 twitter is the same to a certain extent.

The only thing I could see impacting younger viewers (teenagers/early 20s - I'm assuming this is the demographic Stefano is talking about) is the lack of good amount of disposable income to watch races, as you need to pay for either a TV subscription or F1tv, and expensive merch to support the sport.

Never mind the cost of actually being able to attend races.

[firefield]

David Bowie - Reality (2003)

“The thing, probably, that keeps me writing is this awful feeling that there are no absolutes. That there is no truth. That we are, as I’ve been thinking for so many years now, fully in the swirl of chaos theory.” DB, 2003

I always learn new things about David Bowie whenever I listen through his complete discography chronologically, and this run through is no different. As I get close to the end here, I’m reminded how much less I know about these later works, due simply to the fact that they have existed for a much shorter time, and my experience with them is more limited. “Reality” rocks more than I realized on release day, especially coming off the heels of “Heathen” with all its layers and mystery and subtleties. An empty house afforded the opportunity to really crank this one up, a vinyl pass, and CD pass, and finally the 5.1 surround sound edition - and yeah - DB said he wanted a simpler sound, and wanted a record that could be translated into a live show easily and effectively and he got that in spades.

As with all his post-80’s work, and especially his post-heart attack material, “Reality” embraces the darker and more cynical side of DB’s many characters - from the irony of the album title with album art portraying a very cartoony space-man Bowie looking about as unreal and non-Reality as possible and still be recognizable - to DB’s insistence that he made a “positive!” record despite themes of aging and death, loneliness and anonymity, geopolitical strife, day-in-day-out mundanity and the creeping threat of urbanization to nature. Regarding the subject matter of Reality he told Interview Magazine, “This is probably a period when, more than any other time, the idea that our absolutes are disintegrating is manifest in real terms. Truths that we always thought we could stand by are crumbling before our eyes. It really is quite traumatic.”

I read quotes like that and I think, for a guy that is largely known for (and criticized for) his ability to synthesize the past and his surroundings into something entirely David-Bowieingly unique, he certainly shows skill at synthesizing the future as well. Beyond things like financial chicanery like Bowie Bonds and the impact of the internet on the creation and distribution of music, Bowie often hit at the very essence of what unites as well as divides.

The seeds of this malleablity of truth that DB describes had been planted in my country during the civil rights movement and the tragedy of the Vietnam War, but began to flower and bloom after the 9/11 event - affecting Bowie’s home turf and his family profoundly. Heathen is prescient, Reality is a little angry about things. DB took time to specifically say what Reality was not: it was not an angry album, it was not a response to 9/11, it was not his “New York Album” - but then he’d spend just as much time gently walking back those claims, almost wondering aloud if it was, in fact, all of those things and more. He speaks around this time about how naturally writing music came to him. Unforced, calmly. I think this “flow” is why you can glean so many little contradictions about Reality and it’s intentions and meaning. He’s letting it happen, not dictating the plot; the tensions of that city and that moment in time allowed to mold and shape the work. Polar opposite to the Heathen recording environment at Allaire Studios in the Catskill Mountains, Reality was recorded in the cramped Studio B of Philip Glass’s Looking Glass Studios in NYC and both those disparate studio choices impact their respective products acutely.

Reality is Bowie’s most “hands-on” record since Diamond Dogs, employing all his multi-instrumentalist abilities, and it’s also one of his most thoroughly demoed. Most all of Reality was demoed out in Studio B by DB and Tony Visconti playing all the instruments, with Mario McNulty (the same engineer DB would later trust with the posthumous reimagining/re-recording of Never Let Me Down) as studio assistant. According to Tony, he had a feeling that many of these “demo tracks” would not ever actually be re-recorded, so they were laid down at a useable fidelity. Consequently, much of the demo material survived on the final album. The band brought in for final overdubs was chosen with the live show in mind specifically. This was a smaller, tighter unit of BowieLive veterans and by all accounts recording was smooth and productive.

New Killer Star opens the record, and is also Reality’s debut single (that contained one of his more surprising B-sides, Sigue Sigue Sputnik’s ‘Love Missle F1-11’) and is a spectacular Earl Slick led hazy, woozy guitar statement.

This is followed by The Modern Lovers - Pablo Picasso - recorded in 1972 but delayed until their 1976 debut. This track mimics the space occupied by the Pixies cover Cactus - the second track on Heathen - DB pulling tracks from his past that he enjoys and placing them where they give the record momentum. Quite a different interpretation if you have heard the original - DB took liberties with both the lyric and the arrangement and it’s a cool little track.

Never Get Old follows and addresses the common theme of time and aging in DB compositions…. (Cygnet Committee, Time, Hearts Filthy Lesson, Changes, Fantastic Voyage, and many more) and the composition itself references much of his past in Space Oddities countdown, the elongated guitar strands of Heroes, bits of melody from Crack City, the four-walls-closing-in sense of Low and some of Hunky Dory’s ominous moments. A pounding live favorite.

…and seamlessly right into The Loneliest Guy. Anyone who saw the Reality Tour knows the captivating power of this piece, and it’s honesty and fragility was one of a few reasons why I thought this would be DB’s final album.

Looking For Water. Man, I *love* this song. It’s one of my favorite vocal performances on Reality and would certainly end up on my list of “underrated DB songs” were I compelled to make one. I like repetition in music, and it’s hypnotic and mantra-esque qualities - and this is one that always gets a significant volume boost.

She’ll Drive The Big Car - a supercool stab of Bowie sash and swagger, and a killer vocal performance, masking some seriously sad lyrics. Bowie manages to sound defiant, tired, funky, deferential, sexy and soulful all in the course of a single song. He’s such an effortlessly great singer, that’s it’s easy to become so accustomed to it that you almost miss it. It’s just “him.”

The exceedingly sweet “Days” fits nicely with all of Realities reflections, and has for me become a song I pay much more attention to since we lost the man to cancer.

Fall Dog Bombs The Moon is one of DB’s most overtly political songs, and was apparently written very quickly - under a half and hour - and directly addresses the Iraq War and the profiteering involved. Relatively bleak with murky lyrics, it’s a interesting and unique DB composition.

Try Some, Buy Some is just beautiful and I think one of Bowie’s most interesting and genuinely heart-felt covers (along with Waterloo Sunset, also from these sessions.) The inspiration to do this song comes directly from the 1971 Ronnie Spector version and the impact it had on him personally. DB seems to be absolutely sincere when he claimed that he had completely forgotten that it was a George Harrison composition until he sat down to work on the album credits.

Next up is the sizzling rocker Reality that has one foot in Tin Machine and one foot in The Next Day. Love Earl’s guitar sound here. Like New Killer Star, the guitar layers in this one sound amazing on the 5.1 surround mix.

Ahh yeah. Another in an amazing number of fantastic Bowie album closers. I’ve made it a point in my life to quit ranking art into “good/better/best/sucks categories and hierarchies and see art as an experience, not a competition. My friends know this about me, and consequently tease me and attempt to prod me into breaking this creed. Under unrelenting pressure to name a “favorite David Bowie track” I named Bring Me The Disco King.

I could give many reasons why this would be the one…. The repetition I mentioned earlier, here found in Matt Chamberlain’s drum loop (interestingly snagged from ‘When The Boys Come Marching Home,’) the overwhelming sense I had when I first heard it that this was DB’s final record, the sense that the threat of jazz that had always pounded on David’s door in his chord structures and harmonies had finally broken down the door… the very tangible sense that this was a composition that had already had a long life but stayed tucked into the shadows by its unsatisfied creator, only to be given life and light on this great album after it had been stripped down to almost nothing - simplicity being the sought after key to its finally being allowed to soar. If it’s not already obvious, I think this song is magnificent. Literally. The fact that David knew it was deep inside there, he just had to mine it out over the course of a decade or so is extraordinary.

Couple of thoughts about a track that didn’t fit well on Reality but made it to bonus/B-sides…

How cool is his cover of The Kinks Waterloo Sunset? In the years after his death, when I feel that loss in my heart, it’s Waterloo Sunset I turn up to 11 and allow it to yank me back out of that murk.

“People so busy

makes me feel dizzy

but I don’t feel afraid

as long as I gaze on Waterloo Sunset

I am in paradise.”

[nightcoremoon]

advertising is bullshit. not just for the carbon emissions, not just because they don't work, not just because they gather information on individual users, not just because unbridled capitalism is fundamentally broken without consistent regulations and control, not just because businesses are putting ad revenue ahead of human life.

here's the thing

you ever heard of acorn?

no not the video streaming service

there's an app called acorn that enables short form investment capital. you put in pennies to businesses to financially support them and if/when those businesses are successful then the amount of money you invested gets to be a lil bit more. so it's basically the stock market. you cannot eat the rich if you don't know what they eat. anyway it's a way to make supplementary income that's as far as I know untouchable by the IRS. but that doesn't matter. the thing is that this thing exists.

I can guarantee that 9 out of 10 people reading this has no idea that this app existed. and it's probably because you don't ever see ads for it. they don't really advertise. it seems to be some sort of communal hub for mass mutual financial growth among corporations and investors since that's how stimulating economics works. you don't hear about it on tv, radio, internet, video games, magazines, whatever. so clearly they have a tiny if not nonexistent budget for ads.

gambling ads are fucking everywhere. you got casinos, you got fantasy football leagues, you got horse racing, you got private pools for F1 and nascar, you got lottery scratch off tickets, you got fortnite overwatch battlefieldfront etc lootboxes, you got so much shit shoveled out every orifice of society, media, social media, radio tv websites and magazines. everywhere. they have a huge budget for ads because they are traps designed to steal money from gullible idiots privileged enough to have extra cash. and they take maybe 10% of that and sell out adspace to attract more gullible idiots. it's a predatory business model and it WORKS and it works because people are stupid and they're still clicking on ads and buying lootboxes and scratching scratchoffs and betting on football.

gambling doesn't serve society. it's a for profit model that the privileged elite use to suck up extra cash from sad pathetic losers who chase that high from a squirt of serotonin from hitting three lemons or a solid gold ak47 skin or a jpeg. so they can afford to throw cash away on ads.

but sheena, I hear you ask, what about all of the businesses that DO provide valid services to society?

spotify makes enough money from ad revenue to shill out Premium™ to people who happily vomit up $5/monthly en masse. even though there's plenty of ways to listen to music that a) directly benefit the creator or b) are 100% free.

places that serve food make so much extra money from sales that they can afford to fuck over they're employees by paying them dirt and shill out for ad spaces even though nobody's gonna watch a commercial for red lobster on tv and think OOOHHH I WANT JUMBO SHRIMP and you know why? because people who are rich enough to eat ad red lobster on a whim all have enough income they probably have dvr or Premium™ streaming and don't see ads in the first place. they're gonna spur of the moment think mmm cheddar bay biscuits (because when the fuck has red lobster shilled their delicious biscuits??? NEVER, THEY SHILL THEIR SCAMPI LINGUINI AND L O B S T E R.

(red lobster did not finance this post and you can easily find imitation recipes anywhere on google but damn what tasty cheesy bread).

United States Military spends $100 MILLION dollars on shilling ads to join the army on poor people's tv to boost enlistment for their blood machine instead of the government taking that money and using it to finance our schools. we can literally cut our military budget from $780 BILLION dollars to $779 billion- that's B as in billion- remove all military ads from our TVs and buy new textbooks for every single school in the entire country. I don't know why learning institutions hide knowledge behind class gates and why historical mathematical scientific and artistic groups don't just fucking give copies of one textbook about the subject to everyone, or why the publishing companies want so much goddamn MONEY from FUCKING SCHOOLS for LITERAL CHILDREN to LEARN but whatever I'm just someone who succeeded in high school in spite of its hundreds of open glaring flaws but whatever. anyway the point is the military could give money to groups that want to end wars but no they want poor people with nowhere else to go to oil the gears with their entrails so we can continue bombing the shit out of the middle east to steal their petroleum. and ads is how they do it.

charities who claim to want to help kids with cancer or endangered animals will gladly take vast portions of the money well meaning idiots send in, pocket 1/4 of it, put another 1/4 in the tv commercials, give 1/4 to some female adult contemporary singer who isn't famous anymore to sing a sad song over the sadness porn and then give the remaining 1/4 to people who are constantly failing to cure cancer, save animals, and just give up and join the nonprofit orgs that actually accomplish things instead. if a charity can afford to spend millions of dollars on fuckin ADVERTISING, they're a bunch of bloated and corrupt bastards who shouldn't be trusted with a goddamn penny. their members should be promoting shit FOR FREE if they actually care. not buying ad space on the cw tnt cbs & nbc. unless the businesses DONATE ad space. but they don't do that because all CEOs are evil. lol

what does wikipedia do when it needs cash? it POLITELY ASKS FOR MONEY IN A BANNER IN THE CORNER OF THE WEBSITE. ao3 does it too. and if dumb motherfuckers wanna shit on wikipedia for being the most accurate and communally moderated source of information on the entire internet "inaccurate"[citation needed] or ao3 for being the last bastion of independent fiction against federal censorship whores and virtue signaling white-knight moral guardians who don't actually care about victims of rape and csa "having incest fics", and yet say absolutely nothing to greedy conglomerates who destroy the planet, commit genocide and enslave coastal & island nation child residents, spread eugenics & other evil pseudoscientific propaganda, sexualize infantilize and fetishize women, and let millions die from cancer every day? then they're just as culpable.

fuck advertisements.

unless you're an independent content creator or something in which case that's not ads it's marketing and publicity which is different.

[myimaginarywonderland]

Regardless of who you support or who you want to win, I think something that is not talked about enough is the fact that ever since last year most F1 news have just been negative.

And it's not like it's unjustified.

Not only the hugely controversial championship, the attacks from both RedBull (and also Mercedes to a degree), the deeply concerning safety standards, the controversial Spa race, the now more and more lack luster disregards for the rules, the debate about the budget cost cap, etc.

And that's only the stuff openly talked about because a lot of people pick up on it.

Now the race calendar which not only is way too much for any team personal or driver but also not at all according to the "climate change" goals of F1 and the continuing rise of way too expensive race tickets that are not at all making F1 more accessible to the general public.

Not to mention the continuing rising reports of all multitudes of assaults.

F1 since last year has not had a single good headline that has been published that was bigger than just the sport.

I think it's time we stop talking about how individual incidents are very bad or not and start asking ourselves how much longer we as the working class can even afford to have F1 as a genuine hobby.

As someone German who enjoys F1 is no longer accessible in my region. The only way I can watch it is by having a Sky membership. Sure for some of you that might be normal but basically since the 80s F1 used to be on RTL, a channel that so many German households had access to. It isn't anymore.

I have heard fans talk about how ticket prizes have tripled.

We are getting more sprint races, weird forma of qualy, street races etc.

This is a huge problem.

For years now F1 has been inaccessible to "normal drivers" meaning those without money, sponsors or not part of a driver academy. And as we have seen with Nyck, Callum etc. there's driver who either can't afford the step up or simply will never get it because other factors are more valued.

It's no secret that over the years F1 has more than ever become an elitist racing series that is not at all fully about talent otherwise we would have a vastly different grid.

And while this has always been a problem I think many of you truly aren't seeing the bigger picture that is here.

Because it's also now becoming an elitist hobby that no one but rich people can afford. Hell,I come from a good middle class family and travelling to some of the nearest races I would probably pay the equivalent to what I pay for a 2-4 week location. I could never afford a race unless I somehow get a high paying job.

And with the rising prices of inflation I don't think I could even afford a luxury like sky. Sure maybe I can but there's so many people already struggling to even pay rent who just can't.

With the races only going to more popular places, old tracks in countries with such big F1 memory just simply not being picked up, there's also the aspect of who actually can even visit a race close to them.

Now there's also all these fancy new ideas that literally no one wants to see.

So when are we as fan finally going to see the bigger picture that the beloved sport we are seeing is more and more becoming a celebrity and rich people spectacle that is literally formed by the governing body to be as fun as possible while completely ignoring anyone's safety?

When are we going to talk about the horrendous head that is the FIA choosing to portray F1, a sport with such rich history that lives on the fans, as some sort of spectacle like WWE?

When are we going to talk about how they bend the rules to manipulate race outcomes however they like (and now this isn't just talking about AD)?

When are we going to talk about how they us slogans to make themselves seem so progressive and inclusive but are doing absolutely nothing to protect the vulnerable targeted fans?

When are we going to talk about how the way F1 is currently run is not in any way sustainable unless they only want to cater to the rich people?

When are we going to talk about how F1 is continuing to push the fans away and completely forgetting that the sport lives on the passion of the fans?

[softforcal]

Monte Carlo : Racecar driver!Cal

Summary: They've been going to the same bar for a while, but have never talked. Then, across the globe, they meet at a club. He's there for a formula one race, she's there as an Instagram promoter for The Grand Prix. Angst and slow-burn ensues.

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: some smut

Tropes: Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Angst, ft. Harry Styles

note: I started writing this when i first got into f1 so it's not 100% correct on how f1 operates but that's ok. Also I’m not from New York but i tried my best lol

Nascar stuff to watch if you want a full experience: Hot Lap, Champagne popping. 

****************

She’d met him in a bar.

It wasn't a southside bar. The carpets weren’t stained by booze, ashes from used cigarettes and various human fluids, whether that be blood or sweat or whatever else landed on the floor in a dodgy hole in the wall.

Yet, it wasn’t a North Side bar either. They didn’t have the most expensive bottles of whiskey, no ‘hints of aged oak’ or bottles boasting of being over a hundred years old.

No, it was a middle ground. People loitered outside, men in leather smoking with the bouncers. The women there wore strappy heels and weren’t afraid to kick them off to play a game of pool. It was perfect, and there was nowhere else Celeste would have rather been.

The charm of the bar wasn’t even really the bar itself, but a certain regular.

His arrival was always signaled by the scent that would rush into the bar when a bouncer opened the door for him. The stuff he smoked always seemed to smell different, the type of sweetness that was edged, the type of sweetness that told you not to get too close.

No one could help but look at him when he entered. He was beautiful, the type of guy who could afford to relax in a North Side bar where the extra cost for drinks bought you more discreet eyes.

He never seemed to mind the eyes though, and Celeste wasn’t surprised, after all, she supposed a racecar driver of his stature would be used to it by now.

She’d thought he was cute before the bartender had even mentioned that the gorgeous brunette was a famous race car driver. Celeste wasn’t the type to watch cars, whether they be NASCAR or formula one. Hell, she didn’t even know the difference between the two - didn’t particularly care.

Celeste could understand the man - she wasn’t sure of his name - she wasn’t too picky about being seen either. Both of them were young and alive, chasing dreams and becoming successful at an early age.

The driver must have been twenty-three or four, already a known winner. If Celeste could remember correctly, she thought she’d heard he was one of the drivers for Ferrari, which sounded prestigious.

Celeste was twenty-two and at the cusp of finding stardom in the world of modeling. She’d been discovered by a recruiter at aged sixteen and bounced around smaller brands before landing a gig with Victoria’s Secret. Although she’d yet to walk their runway, one of the designers had showed her picture to a friend and just like that, Celeste had become the muse for one of the biggest fashion brands in North America.

She supposed she was lucky, blessed really, to have been in the mall the day the recruiter discovered her.

And likewise, she supposed the driver was fortunate to have been introduced to driving at a young age.

So there the two of them were, two young stars shortening the vicinity between themselves every Friday night or so. Close but not touching, never meeting.

Later in her life, Celeste would wonder if it was odd for the other patrons who frequented the bar. If it was odd for them to be minding their own business and have not one, but two, semi-famous people just decide ‘this is my chosen bar.’ But in those moments when Celeste accepted a challenge in pool, playing against other drunk university girls, Celeste was just one of the people who’d found a little slice of home in a midtown bar.

***

Calum swirled the whiskey in his glass, taking a deep breath and turning so his back was leaning against the bar top. His eyes found her immediately. She was the type of girl that stood out. Even if he hadn’t been told by his favourite bartender that the girl was a model, he could have guessed.

It was hard to tear his gaze from her as she bent over the pool table to line up a shot. Her little jean shorts hugged her ass perfectly, and the way her thighs were pressed against the table made Calum lick his lips. She wasn't a typical model, or at least didn’t have the thinner body type. She was what his friends would call slim thicc, and Calum ate it up every time she entered the bar.

The girls she was playing with were obviously university students from the school down the road. Calum had seen them once or twice, they liked to get drunk and play pool. They were also obviously fans of the model, and to the models credit, she was very kind to them any time they approached her.

“You should go talk to her.” the bartender suggested, “two pretty people like you, it makes sense.”

Calum smirked against the rim of his glass, humming absentmindedly, “does it?”

“You should do it soon, you know everyone’s been taking bets on when you end up talking to her, who approaches who.”

“Really?” Calum turned to look at the bartender.

“No, but it’s a good idea, maybe I should start that up.” he paused, “come on man, you’re a regular, she’s a regular. You’ve both been coming in for what? Six months now? Most Fridays? Except for when you’re off in Italy or Mexico or wherever, winning trophies and she’s doing modeling gigs. The two of you would make sense together.”

Calum shot the last mouthful of whiskey, setting the glass down, “no we wouldn’t.”  he stated, tossing a bill onto the counter. He didn’t look up at the bartender, instead, he grabbed his leather jacket that had been thrown over a bar chair and shrugged it on. It was warm and worn, and Calum produced a joint from inside one of the pockets, tucking it behind his ear and amongst his dark curls. His trusty lighter was in his hand by the time he was pushing the door open to escape the bar.

The cold air wrapped around him and Calum’s nimble fingers moved the joint from behind his ear to his lips, the lighter flicking on. He took a long drag and his eyes closed, the warm feeling wrapping around him pleasantly.

He knew he was being a pussy.

Knew that sixth months was six months too many for him to be in the same vicinity of a girl like that and not make a move. Calum liked to take his time with women, which is why he enjoyed going to the bar alone.

His friends didn’t get it. They were all about driving fast, living fast and fucking fast.

Calum would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy speed, he was a fucking racecar driver for Christ’s sake. One of the fastest in the world, if his last race was anything to go by.

But when it came to women? Well with women, Calum liked to go slow.

Besides, he was only going away for a week, maybe a little more. She’d be there when he got back.

***

The pop of the champagne bottle announced the spray of liquor that began to stream over Calum and his friends. Ashton was pointing his bottle towards the crowd and fans screamed up at them, allowing the expensive liquid to drench them as the drivers celebrated.

Calum’s cheeks hurt from smiling, and two of his friends held his head back as Ashton poured booze into his mouth. He was getting used to this treatment, they were only four events into the year but this was Calum’s third win. He was going to drink a little, but he was saving his energy for the next race, it mattered more to him anyways.

The Monaco Grand Prix held a special place in Calum’s heart and he could hardly wait for the week and a half for it to start.

Champagne dripped down the front of his red jumpsuit and Calum shoved his friends away, heart pumping fast. It only ever beat this way when he won first place, something that was happening with more and more frequency.

The air was still tinged with red from the gusts of coloured smoke that had been released as he’d crossed the finish line.

For a moment something else flashed red across his vision, a shirt the model had been wearing the week before. She must have not had any idea when she’d chosen that colour that it had a deeper meaning for Calum. It was the colour of Ferrari, his colour, a colour that always sparked his heart with fire, the colour that promised a race, promised the elevation into paradise that came with a win.

One of his friends grabbing his jumpsuit drew Calum’s attention, and the image of the girl was gone.

***

Celeste lounged in her chair, celebrating a successful shoot with a slice of pizza. As she bit into the cheesy goodness, her makeup artist sat next to her, “you have to see this.” she said, moving her phone where Celeste could see, “it’s from the race practice today.”

“And it’s Formula one right?” Celeste clarified. She felt bad, knowing that she should logically know more about the cars. After all, she was in Monte Carlo for the Monaco Grand Prix. The brand who hired her to be their correspondent for the paid promotion trip had known Celeste had no background with motorsports, so they had a journalist creating her captions for all of her paid posts. But Celeste still felt bad.

“Yeah this is formula one, you can tell because the cars are thinner remember? just watch this.” the girl said with excitement. Celeste focused on the screen, watching as a red car sped down a track, “oh my god, how fast is he going?”

“Fast.” the girl breathed.

There were two cars, a red and a blue. The red tried to skim past the blue and sent them both spiraling out, the blue coming to stand still as the driver got their bearing, however, the red car hadn’t even stopped spinning before it was off again, speed gaining to catch the car that had taken the lead from him during those brief seconds of collision.

The camera angle switched to the camera attached to the red car and even at massively high speeds, the driver was fixing their mirror that had been damaged in the collision, and driving with only one hand.

One more harsh turn had red overtake the other red that had been in the lead.

The clip cut off.

“Did he win?” Celeste asked.

“He did, but this was just a practice, we still have qualifiers and the actual race.” her artist said, “fuck, Hood is insane, I’ve never seen a driver recover from a bump so quick.”

“I’m shocked the bump didn’t have them both like, flipping or something.” Celeste said, “every time I think about race cars I think about how deadly the crashes look.”

“Just be glad you’re not dating a driver.” her artist said.

Celeste laughed, “thank god.”

***

Celeste had been busy most of the day, but she’d heard the notorious Hood had won yet again, not that it was a surprise, apparently. People on the streets were talking about him, his name whispered over and over again everywhere Celeste went to take pictures.

The other model she was with had done the Monte Carlo coverage for the brand the year before, she’d chosen a club and said that it was the place to be the night of the qualifiers and especially the next night after the final.

It was easy enough to get onto the list for the exclusive club, and the fellow model, a girl named Alexa, warned Celeste not to sleep with any of the drivers, “they’re pigs.” Alexa said as they got out of the limo, “only good for pictures and tags but other than that? They talk a big game about liking it fast but these men don’t have stamina for shit.”

Celeste laughed, following Alexa up past the security who didn’t even ask if they were on the list. Alexa and Celeste where the types of girls who surpassed lists, if a straight man ever tried to refuse them entrance to a club, it would surely mark a coming apocalypse and pigs would be flying.

The VIP section of club was alive with people, full of the rich elite, the type of people who flew out to Monte Carlo with the pure intent of watching Formula One racing. Celeste decided, as she walked amongst people with pearls and diamonds adorning their bodies, that Formula One was an expensive sport. Alexa had mentioned early in the day, as the two of them absentmindedly waited for the cars to zoom past where they were sitting in the crowd, that some Formula One cars could cost around fifteen and a half million dollars to make.

Celeste had nearly fallen out of her seat at the number, and her mouth had gone dry as her eyes went to the track, watching the expensive cars who could at any moment flip and waste so much money.

The thought of cars crashing was swept from Celeste’s mind as she was dragged by Alexa through the crowd of people. The racers weren’t hard to spot. They were all decked out in sponsored caps and casual outfits. The only people in the room who didn’t feel like they needed to dress up, because they didn’t. Every rich person in the room was there for them, the racers had all the power, all eyes on them.

Some were surprisingly young looking, and many of them were smaller than Celeste expected. “Why are they so tiny?” Celeste whispered, stopping Alexa in her tracks as Celeste looked at the racers.

“The more weight that’s in the car, the slower it goes, smaller is better… for once.” Alexa teased, “come on.”

Then they were in the midst of the racers, Alexa hugging a man she fondly called Ash. He was a bit bigger than the others, but still not up to Celeste’s standards. Her eyes wandered, a smile on her face flashed to anyone Alexa introduced her too.

A song came on and Celeste’s hand tightened around Alexa’s, “oh my gosh, this is my song!” Celeste said, looking at her with pleading eyes, “come dance with me?”

“You go ahead, I have to catch up with some friends.” Alexa said.

Celeste didn’t need to be told twice, letting go of her friend to escape to the dancefloor. It was out of the way of the VIP section, filled with a younger crowd that Celeste felt akin to. She meshed in, lost within the swarm of dancing people. The song was new, by an artist she’d followed since his boyband years. His new music was rich and fun, the artist making a true name for himself as a rockstar.

Her hips swayed to the music, the beautiful metallic sheer dress hugging all her curves as she smiled and danced with the people who made room for her. She’d never had issues fitting in, least of all on a dancefloor.

When the song finished, she continued to dance, even though the next songs weren’t her favourites. She was just beginning to sweat when a hand grabbed hers, Alexa pulling her roughly, “Celeste come with me now!”

By the time they’d exited the crowd, it was obvious where Celeste was taking her. Standing in the VIP section, surrounded by racers, looking as handsome as ever, was Harry Styles, the very artist that Celeste had swooned over when his song had come on.

Her heart froze in her chest and she stopped in her tracks, pulled harshly again by Alexa, “come on!” Alexa said, “you have to meet him!”

***

Calum was becoming an expert in the art of opening and spraying champagne. He’d won the Monaco Grand Prix, taking the first spot like he was entitled to it, and keeping it until he’d crossed the finish line. His entire body was on fire, heart racing in his chest.

Ashton stood next to him, he’d finished third, which was also impressive. It was obvious that they’d be celebrating that night, after the interviews. Calum was excited about the night ahead, he’d always found Monte Carlo to be a dreamlike city, wonderous and in a way romantic.

He wasn’t sure what would happen that night, but if it was anything like his triumphant day, he knew it would be amazing. Nothing could pull him away from his post win high, and he was sure of that.

***

It was her.

Calum blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. No, it was her. The girl from the bar. The influencer who’d weaseled her way into his brain without even knowing it, was there, a few yards away. She had a glass of champagne in her hand, but it was still full.

Calum recognized the girl next to his influencer, a model named Alexa. He’d met her at a few of his races, she was a brand endorser for a number of the same brands Calum worked for. He knew he was on her Instagram, tagged a few times, pictures of the two of them standing next to each other, her smile much larger than his. Alexa was a nice girl, he enjoyed her, but Calum generally tried to stay away from models, he wasn’t quite sure why.

Alexa spotted him a moment later, her eyes widening as she motioned him over, opening her arms to pull him into a tight hug, “I can't believe you won!” she screamed, “that’s what? Your third race in a row? What’s your secret Hood?!”

Calum’s eyes darted between Alexa and the influencer next to her, still not introduced, waiting politely for his answer.

“Uh-” Calum wracked his brain for a witty response but nothing came, “who’s your friend?”

Alexa didn’t even seem to mind that he hadn’t answered her question, “this is Celeste.” she said.

Celeste held out a hand, “nice to meet you-”

“Calum.”

“Calum.” she repeated his name, a silly smile on her face. The name tasted sweet on her tongue, “I think… have we met before?” she tried to play it cool, but she knew exactly where she’d seen him. This was the mystery hunk who frequented her bar back in New York.

For months she’d been trying to work up the courage to go talk to him, and now there he was, halfway across the world in a club that was too loud, a new title added to his impressive resume.

Calum nodded, “we go to the same bar in New York.” he didn’t even bother dancing around the idea of where they knew each other from.

Celeste’s heart leaped in her chest.

“You two know each other?” Alexa asked in shock.

“Not really-” Celeste began as Calum said “no.” they both stopped, waiting for the other to continue. Both of them blushed, Calum readjusting his guinness cap on his head.

A man with honey coloured curls appeared, arm going around Calum as he greeted Alexa, “who’s your friend?” Ashton asked.

“Celeste.” Celeste answered, holding out her hand to him.

Calum watched every movement, loving every motion.

“I’m Ashton,” the man said, turning to Alexa, “you need a drink.” he stated, grabbing Alexa’s hand.

“Only if you’re buying.” Alexa teased, allowing Ashton to pull her towards the bar, leaving Calum alone with Celeste.

“So you won today!” Celeste said enthusiastically, “that must be so great for you!”

Calum could see her struggling with her words, “you don’t watch F1 much do you?”

“F1?”

“Formula One.” Calum corrected himself with a laugh.

“No, I don't.” Celeste admitted awkwardly, “fast cars aren’t really my thing.”

“Really?” Calum asked in shock, she looked like the kind of girl who would own a luxury car, but maybe he was getting ahead of himself.

“Yeah, I don't know, fast cars, crashes, guess I’m a bit of a scaredy-cat.” Celeste laughed, sipping her champagne.

“I could take you for a drive.” Calum stated, the words left his mouth before he could stop them, “I mean, my Ferrari is down at the track-”

“I’d have to be really drunk to agree to that.” Celeste laughed, the tone of it twinkling deliciously and making Calum smile.

“Then, cheers.” Calum clinked his beer with Celeste’s champagne glass.

“To F1.” Celeste said, already incorporating the new term Calum had taught her.

Calum smiled at her, “To fast cars, crashes and scaredy cats.”

***

“We are not doing this.” Celeste said, even as she got into the car. Calum closed the door behind her, hurrying to his own side to get into the driver's seat, “Calum, your seatbelt is straight out of bondage porno.”

“Watch a lot of those?” Calum laughed, his skin heating as he turned to look at the model who was holding the harness like a seatbelt.

“Calum!” Celeste said loudly again, jaw-dropping as she looked at him, “no!”

Calum grinned, reaching over to help her put the seatbelt on. He hadn’t pushed her to drink more, Celeste had done that on her own. She’d said after a few sips of champagne that ‘it wasn’t every day a formula one racer offered to take a gal out for a drive’ and had downed her glass. Seeing she was serious, Calum had put down his beer, having only had a sip of it.

He was completely sober, unlike the girl next to him. She was a bubbly drunk, much like the champagne that had caused her to be this way.

Calum grabbed the two safety helmets from the back of the car, handing one to Celeste. She looked at it like it was about to bite her, “what?!”

“For safety.” Calum said, putting it on her himself before putting on his own.

“How fast are we going to go?” Celeste asked.

“As fast as you want.” Calum said, putting on his own seatbelt before looking out at the track. He didn’t want to tell her that he would go over 200 km/h on straights, he knew he was being devious but he didn’t care so much.

He’d done this before, never with a model, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to show up and go for a celebratory lap of the track the night after a win. He’d even left his car on the track, having always planned on coming and doing this. Security was always nice to him, partly, he supposed, because he was a winner, but also partly because he was a nice guy.

“Fast.” Celeste whispered, then she looked at him, “wait, not super fast,” she said, then she frowned, “no, fast? Maybe?”

Calum laughed, “I'll just start, and if you want me to go slower, I can, yeah?”

“Okay.” Celeste said, her eyes lingering on the racer's profile, “pretty.” she mumbled, so quietly that Calum almost didn’t hear her. He felt his skin heating, could feel his ears turning red as the car roared to life, the engine purring.

“Fuck.” Celeste said, grabbing at the car door.

Calum laughed, turning to look at her, “we haven’t even moved yet.”

“What if I don't want to anymore?”

Calum took his foot off the brake and the car rolled about two feet, making Celeste grip the door tighter.

“We can stop.” Calum said, easing off the brake again to move another few feet.

Celeste took a deep breath, then turned to look at him, “Murder me.” she stated.

Calum’s breath caught in his throat and he blinked, taking a moment before he realized she meant that he should drive so fast she’ll metaphorically die. He swallowed thickly. “You got it.” he said, voice hoarse.

“Have you ever taken someone out on something like this before?” Celeste asked, suddenly sounding quite sober.

“We call them hot laps.” Calum stated, “I've taken a few athletes out on some, done some drifting, some donuts-”

“Can we do some donuts? I love donuts.” Celeste said as Calum pulled onto the track.

“Sure.” Calum looked at her, “do you trust me?”

Celeste wet her lips, “no?”

The first part of the track was straight and Calum’s foot went all the way down on the gas pedal. Celeste squealed, thrown back into her seat as Calum grinned. They reached 230 km/h quickly and Celeste screamed as she saw the first turn coming into view.

She didn’t tell him to slow down, which Calum appreciated as he adjusted the car for the turn, hitting the apex (the inner corner) perfectly as Celeste squealed next to him. Calum couldn’t help but smile, pushing the car faster again as he came out of the corner.

He knew this track like the back of his hand. Knew it was 3.4 kilometers, nineteen harsh corners that would have him breaking for around 20% of the drive, giving him ample reason to drift just to make Celeste scream. Fuck. He loved it.

There was no one watching, just him and Celeste, and she obviously knew nothing about racing. Which meant he could get away with doing things that had them both thrown around the car, just for the hell of it.

It was the type of track where he couldn’t go as fast as he wanted, he wanted to be able to show Celeste how fast a car could go.

The sharp turns were coming up and Calum was ready for Celeste’s loud scream as the tires skidded across asphalt, he wasn’t ready for her hand landing on his thigh, holding on tightly.

He held the record for fastest lap in the world at this track, having completed it in 1 minute and 13.60 seconds, almost a full second faster than anyone else in the world. In the car he was in now, it would take longer, but driving always seemed fast to him.

He was focused behind the wheel, moving it expertly, taking each turn as Celeste screamed next to him, never letting go of his leg.

To Celeste, the ride felt like eons, every turn threw her to the side, her eyes unable to keep a track of the road in front of them. She simply had to hold on and enjoy it. Part of her did. Perhaps it was her drunken state, but she wasn’t really that afraid. She trusted the man next to her, even if she didn’t understand why.

The car skidded to a halt and just as Celeste thought it was over, Calum lurched the wheel to the side and threw Celeste to the left, as she squealed. The car continued to go in tight circles, a harsh weight pulling on Celeste as she screamed, eyes closed, mind dizzy.

The car stopped and Celeste took a moment to open her eyes, blinking at Calum.

“That was a donut.” he told her.

“Thank you.” Celeste whispered.

Calum laughed, then his eyes darted down to her hand on his thigh, she followed his gaze, offering him a lazy smile, “you have nice thighs.”

“You do too.” Calum said, voice hoarse. It was true. She’s what Calum’s friends would call “thiccer than a sniccer” and it had not escaped his notice.

“Do I?” Celeste asked, removing her hand from Calum to look down at her lap, “you don’t think they’re too big?”

“No.” Calum said honestly, following her eyes now as he looked at her legs. He swallowed thickly, tearing his gaze away, “where are you staying?”

“I forget what it’s called.” Celeste said, a happy smile on her face, “can I stay with you tonight?”

Calum’s mind was blank for a moment. He wasn’t sure what she was asking for. He wasn’t about to take advantage of her, no matter how badly he wanted her thighs wrapped around his head- “uh- sure.”

“Sleep over!” Celeste squealed, “we have to order pizza!”

“I don’t eat pizza.” Calum said as he took off his helmet, reaching over to help Celeste take off hers.

“What?! Why not?!” Celeste pouted, looking very concerned.

“Racecar drivers are supposed to be small, less weight means a faster car-”

“But you’re so big and tall.” Celeste smiled.

“Yeah,” Calum laughed, “so i try not to eat much, don’t want to gain any more weight than I already have, I'm a lot taller than most drivers.”

“That must mean you’re really good.”

Calum smiled, setting the helmets in the back of the car then going to unbuckle Celeste. He stayed quiet, too humble to tell her that she was right.

Celeste turned to look out the window, opening the door once she’d been released from the seatbelt. By the time Calum had gone to join her on the other side of the car she was laying on the ground, “the stars are so pretty.” she mused.

Calum sighed. At the start of his day, he’d expected maybe winning the race. He hadn’t expected to bump into the model he’d been lusting over for months from New York, in a club in Monte Carlo, only to drive her around then lay on the track and look at the stars with her.

Calum got down next to her, his shoulder just touching hers, “the stars are pretty nice.”

“For my part, I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” Celeste breathed, “Van Gogh. I'm really tired Calum, can you take me home?”

He couldn’t take her home, not really. All they had was his hotel room. But perhaps it wasn’t bricks and mortar that made something a home, perhaps it was something else. Something not solid, not something you could hold in your hands. Maybe it was a feeling.

He wondered what could be home.

***

Celeste blinked, sitting up in a bed that was not her own. The first thing she noticed was the wall of pillows to her left. Curled up in the pillows was a head of dark curls and Celeste recognized Calum. His back was to her, a redshirt covering his broad shoulders. Even in bed, he wore Ferrari’s colours, it was intriguing.

Calum was awake, and when the bed dipped, he knew Celeste was as well. He rolled over and sat up, looking at her, “how are you feeling?” he asked.

“My head hurts a little,” she admitted, “you took me racing last night?”

“I took you on the track.” Calum said.

She blinked at him, “I remember screaming a lot.”

A smile spread across Calum’s face, “yeah, I think you enjoyed it.”

“I think I remember enjoying it.”

Calum got out of the bed, “I'm going to go get you breakfast, waffles and donuts right?”

“How did you know my cheat meal?”

“You were ranting about it last night, wanted to go find a diner to make you some fried chicken and waffles.” Calum answered, leaning against the doorway, “I don't think they’ll have the deep-fried chicken, but they have waffles, and donuts, sprinkles right?”

“Did I tell you all of my favourite foods last night?” Celeste laughed.

“Nah,” Calum smiled, “just your top hundred.” he teased, “I'll be back soon.”

Celeste looked down, realizing she was also in a Ferrari shirt. It was Calum’s, the red of it more worn and comfy looking than the shirt Calum had been wearing. It was large on her and when she got out of bed it went just to her upper thighs. The fabric was not made for a woman, not made to curve over a large bum, as Celeste turned to look at herself in the mirror next to the bed, her eyes took in the way the shirt teased. Every movement had it riding a little bit higher, sneaking a sliver of bodaciousness that she was known for.

Her hair was still wavy from it’s styling the night before but all of her makeup was gone.

She had some sort of memory of Calum wiping a warm cloth over her face.

Yes, now she remembered. He’d brought her to the hotel and had insisted on cleaning her up before letting her pass out. He’d wiped the makeup from her face gently while she ranted about food. She missed American food, missed the diner in New York that she went to every Sunday morning for deep-fried chicken and waffles.

The door to the room opened and Calum stepped in, a box full of food in his hands. He set it down on the tabletop next to Celeste’s side of the bed, then he began rearranging the pillows, straightening out the blanket.

“Thanks for the breakfast.” Celeste said, picking up a waffle.

“Don’t mention it.”

“So… are you headed back to New York soon?” she asked.

“There’s another race in under two weeks, I think a lot of us are going to stay here, and then head to Canada together, France after that-”

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you raced in so many countries.”

“This is round six, there’s twenty-one in total, so that’s still fifteen to go.” Calum said, not looking up at her.

“Fifteen more races? Fifteen more countries?” Celeste asked in shock.

“Yeah.”

“Shit.” Celeste chewed on her waffle.

Calum looked down at his watch.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Celeste asked.

“Yeah, I have to go do training, then meet up with my team and talk about the race yesterday.”

“You’re a busy guy.”

Calum offered her a smile, “sorry I can’t stay longer and have breakfast with you.”

“It’s okay.”

“Are you going back to New York soon?” Calum asked.

“Uh…” Celeste’s mouth was dry, “I'm not sure yet.”  her skin was prickling. She’d almost forgotten about the charming brit she’d met two nights before. The brit she’d gone home with. The brit she was meeting up with in- “fuck, I have to go-”

Calum laughed, “got somewhere to be?”

“Yeah a date,” Celeste answered, shoving the waffle in her mouth, “I need to give you your shirt back-” she said around the waffle.

Calum’s expression had changed, but Celeste hadn’t noticed, too busy looking around for her stuff, “Keep it.” Calum said, “You can give it back to me in New York.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I have a lot of Ferrari shirts.”

“Are you sure?”

“Uh huh.”

Celeste grabbed her small clutch purse, finding her shirt and skirt on the ground. She pulled the skirt up her legs, the stretchy material hugging her curves as she did a french tuck with the front of her shirt, “Calum, thank you so much for last night, for everything.” she said sincerely, turning to look at the driver.

“Don’t mention it.”

She stepped towards him and wrapped him in a hug. After a moment of hesitation, Calum hugged her back.

“I’ll see you in New York.” she promised as she pulled away, “we’ll have to meet up at the bar or something.”

Calum smiled, but it was forced, “sounds fun.”

“It will be.” Celeste ran to the door, “good luck with everything! Congrats again on your win yesterday.”

“Thanks. Get home safe.”

“I will.”

Then she was gone.

The twelve hours he’d had with her felt like borrowed time. As if he’d somehow stolen those hours from whatever god or being had kept the two of them apart for so long. And now she was gone. Calum felt like Cinderella at midnight, except it was nine AM and he wasn’t a princess in a Disney movie.

He was a formula one driver with a job to do. And he wasn’t about to let a pretty brunette get in the way of his work, even if she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen in his life.

****

They’d followed each other that day, the notification lighting up Calum’s phone. The first of many pleasant phone buzzes signaling a message from the model. She’d posted a picture of chicken waffles on her story her first day back in New York and Calum hadn’t been able to resist the urge to message her about it, congratulating her on finally quenching her craving.

Conversation with her was easy. Two weeks into casually talking, she’d sent him a meme about friends, saying ‘us.’ it hadn’t thrown Calum off, he considered her a friend too. After all, the best relationships start with friendship, something Calum had learned after many failed attempts at love.

Celeste even congratulated Calum on winning second in the race in Canada and it had shocked him that she’d watched it. “What are friends for?” she’d messaged back, warming Calum’s whole body.

Their friendship reached a new height when she asked for his snapchat, and thus began the great dog snap challenge. Anytime either of them saw a dog, they’d take a picture and send it to the other.

Calum was busy with work. Ferrari was ramping things up, and Calum had his head in the game. Because of this, he didn’t have time to go home, even though he wanted to. Which was why he was so excited when Celeste messaged him to tell him she’d be in England when he was there for Round Ten of the championship.

Calum didn't ask too many questions, too excited to see her.

It was an hour before Celeste’s flight to England, and Calum wondered if he should message her. He finally gave in, it was late for him and he knew if he didn’t message her, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Before he could text her, his phone rang.

He’d had Celeste’s number since they’d met, 45 days ago, not that he was counting, and they’d never called each other.

“Calum! I’m not waking you am i?” Celeste’s voice was worried.

“No, what’s up?”

“Is it okay that I called you?”

“It’s fine, you sound worried.” Calum sat down, eager to give her his full attention.

“Have I ever told you I'm not into flying?” Celeste asked.

Calum chuckled, “no, you never mentioned it.”

“Well, I am, and I don’t know why this is freaking me out so much.”

“I mean, it is a long flight, maybe that’s why?” Calum paused, “you’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Are you my captain Calum?” Celeste asked sarcastically.

“No, but you’ll be fine.” he paused, “hey, when you get here, do you need me to pick you up?”

“No thanks! Harry’s picking me up.”

“Harry?”

“Yeah.”

Calum opened his mouth, then closed it, he wasn’t sure what to say, “I didn't know you were seeing him?” he offered.

“It’s funny, I met him the night before I met you. He actually has been coming to visit me in New York, so I figured it’s my turn to head out to him, and when I saw it would line up with you being there i had to come.”

Calum’s skin was cold. He’d thought she was coming to see him, but as it turned out, he was only fifty percent of the reason. Was he even fifty percent?

“But I’m coming to your race!” Celeste continued, “the training ones and the final one.”

Her terms weren’t correct but Calum couldn’t be bothered to correct her. “Is Harry coming with you too?” Calum asked.

“Yeah, he’ll be around, but I do really want to see you Cal.” there was a muffled sound, then, “they’re boarding so I gotta go. Talking to you really helped Cal. I’ll see you soon! I’m so excited!”

“Me too.” Calum forced out.

“Awesome! Love ya! Bye!”

Calum’s mouth felt dry, his body still frozen, but he managed to say “bye.” then the line clicked and Celeste was gone, but had she ever really been there?

***

He was late. Something that never happened, but he’d been late with Celeste. They’d gone out for drinks her second night England and had stayed up talking and ordering room service until three AM. Calum had lost track of time, another thing he’d never really experienced.

Shoving his legs into his race suit and pulling it up, he ran past a few mechanics, eager to get on the track. He’d had a call early that morning that some rich person had paid a lot of money to have a hot lap with him.

It seemed to be the day of things that had never happened to Calum.

He usually didn’t do hot laps, and Ferrari knew that. There was, allegedly, something special about the person who’d requested him, but that morning, half asleep when his phone rang, Calum had been too tired to ask.

Calum was used to camera’s being shoved in his face and he pushed through them, approaching the signature red car that he’d be using.

“Calum, what’s it like driving one of the most famous British singers in the world?” a reporter asked.

Calum looked up, for the first time getting a glimpse at who he’d be driving around.

Harry Styles looked as Calum always supposed he would. His hair was perfect, and the black jacket he was wearing made him look like he’d come straight out of an Abercrombie and fitch magazine. Or perhaps another magazine, Calum didn’t keep up with fashion.

Then came the dimples.

Calum could have thrown up.

“You must be Calum!” Harry exclaimed, holding out a hand and offering a smile.

Calum shook his hand, hard, not smiling, not saying anything.

Then he remembered the cameras. Remembered that this was his job. Remembered that as the top f1 driver, driving a man with a huge fanbase, the video would probably go viral. Calum forced a smile, “nice to meet you.” he said politely.

“So let's get to it yeah?” Harry asked, his British accent way too charming.

Calum nodded, going around the car to escape the paparazzi. He put his helmet on and took some joy in the fact that Harry would have to do the same, and maybe it would ruin his hair.

There were cameras in the car.

Calum wondered what would happen next.

“Excited for your race, mate.” Harry said, buckling himself in, “you’ve always been the one to watch.”

“Didn’t know you were a big formula one fan.” Calum mused, the engine roaring to life.

“I wasn’t.” Harry admitted, “we have a mutual friend, she got me into it.”

Calum wondered how far Harry would go. After all, there were cameras in the car, and Calum had heard about Harry and his tendency to stay elusive.

That’s when he realized it was serious. The thing between Harry and Celeste.

Harry had spent a lot of money to be in the car with Calum. He was facing the cameras, despite his desire to mostly not produce content.

And he was talking about Celeste.

Calum’s foot stepped onto the petal and the car lurched forward. He hoped that Harry wouldn’t talk anymore. Hoped it would be a quiet ride.

“How did you two meet again?”

“What?”

“Our mutual friend.”

Calum wished he’d just say her name. But he understood why Harry was being aloof. Understood it protected Celeste from being prematurely exposed to his fan base, for better or for worse.

Calum respected it.

“Met in Monaco. She mentioned it was the day after she met you.” Calum said, making a point to mention Harry. He supposed it would ease Harry’s mind, knowing Celeste had mentioned him… even if it had only been a few days earlier. Calum pushed the car faster and then braked hard for a corner, throwing Harry to the side.

“That was a good race by the way.” Harry said, “You came in first, congratulations.”

“I like Monaco.” Calum said, “it’s a special place.”

“It is.” Harry agreed. Calum couldn’t be sure, but Harry seemed satisfied with their interaction. Calum wasn’t sure what he expected, after all, it’s not like the guy was going to come out and be aggressive with him… even if that’s what Calum might have done in his position.

The rest of the drive went smoothly, with Harry complimenting Calum’s driving and even letting out happy hollers at sharp turns.

As the car came to a stop, Harry turned to shake Calum’s hand, “maybe I'll see you tonight.” Harry offered.

“Maybe.” no way in hell.

One last smile and the gorgeous man was gone, out of Calum’s car and hopefully his life.

***

“Are you sure you don’t want to come out?”

“Yeah, I need sleep tonight, the race is tomorrow-”

“Did… I- Harry told me about this morning, said he was eager to meet you, did you like him?”

“He’s fine, I’m just tired.” Calum lied.

Celeste was silent on the other end of the line for a moment, “but tomorrow night, we’re still on, right?”

When she’d first arrived and they’d gotten drinks, Calum had promised to do the same thing after the race. But when he’d promised he’d assumed it would be just the two of them. Calum didn't want to go anymore, “yeah.” he said.

“Okay, because I had a lot of fun last night Cal. Anyways, have a good night, get some sleep, you’re going to be great tomorrow.”

“You promise?” Calum asked.

“I’m your captain, I definitely promise.” Celeste laughed, the sound was magic, “love ya Cal! Talk tomorrow!”

“Love you too.”

He hung up.

***

Celeste’s arms wrapped around him and when Calum lifted her off the ground, her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, “you did it!” she screamed in his ear, a little too loud, but he didn’t care.

He set her down and Celeste pulled way, keeping him close as she looked up at him, “that was amazing Calum!”

“It was nothing-” Calum brushed it off, looking down. He could be cocky about his driving, but not with her. With Celeste, his heart always seemed to swell.

“Calum, you hit every single apex!” Celeste said and Calum’s heart fluttered even more.

She’d learned a term used in F1.

He didn’t even know what to say so he just looked down at her, unable to stop smiling.

“Harry’s not coming, by the way, he had to go back to London for work.” Celeste said, finally pulling away from Calum, “so it’s just us tonight!”

Calum let out a breath, smile widening, “so where are we headed?”

He didn't care that other drivers were probably going to celebrate at a specific location. He only cared about taking every moment with Celeste…. As friends of course.

Of course….

Who was he kidding, Calum knew he was walking a fine line. Part of him wondered what would happen when she came to England… before he’d found out about Harry. And although those ideas were no use anymore, he’d be damned if he didn’t still take advantage of their time together.

“Let's get drinks?” Celeste suggested.

Calum smiled, “sounds perfect.”

***

Calum stared up at the ceiling and Celeste rolled onto her side to look at him. Calum smiled, turning to look at her too, “what?”

“I’m just…” Celeste studied him, “I haven't really had any guy friends before. All the guys I know try to be my friend just to get me in bed. And we’re here and you’re not trying anything.”

Calum coughed awkwardly, sitting up, “well, you’re seeing Harry.”

Celeste rolled onto her back, hair fanning over the pillow, “yeah.”

“How is that going? You didn’t talk much about him last time we hung out.” it was true. They’d been together for hours and Celeste hadn’t mentioned him once.

Celeste took a deep breath, “I really like him. I think. I don’t know. When I was a teenager and he was in One Direction he was huge. And, like every other teenage girl on earth, I was definitely a fan of his. Being with him feels… well, it’s odd. He’s a great guy but I almost feel like I enjoy the grandeur of him. I enjoy the Harry that I know from social media…” there was a pause, then, “fuck, this is why I’m trying not to get drunk anymore. I always want to talk about philosophy and end up confusing myself even more. Forget I said anything, I’m being stupid.”

Calum looked at her, watching the way her chest rose and fell. Her eyes were closed. She was frowning.

It was the most vulnerable he’d ever seen her.

Calum laid down next to her, “I'm sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll probably just do what I always do, stick with it until something really bad happens, then run away.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy.” Calum stated.

Celeste smiled, “Never said it was.” she yawned, “can I stay here tonight?”

“Sure… do you need me to build a pillow wall like last time?” Calum teased.

“For your protection or mine?” Celeste flirted, but Calum knew it was just for the sake of teasing, her expression changed, “why did you have to make a pillow fort last time?”

“You asked for one.”

“So you just built me one?”

“Of course.”

“You’re really sweet, has anyone ever told you that?” Celeste asked, pulling the covers over her body.

“No.”

“Well, people should tell you you’re sweet more often.” Celeste’s eyes were closed and from the wispy tone of her voice, Calum knew she was about three seconds from falling asleep.

“Goodnight Celeste.”

“Goodnight Cal.”

***

Calum stared at the deep-fried chicken on top of waffles. Celeste looked like a kid in a candy shop and Calum was shocked she’d even found a place that served her favourite breakfast. She looked adorable, having stolen one of his Ferrari hats and a shirt.

It was big on her, but he loved it.

“Cal, can you take a pic of me and my waffles?” Celeste asked, handing him her phone.

“Sure.” he said, adjusting the camera as Celeste made a face, tongue out, fingers up in peace signs.

He took a few pictures, smiling down at them before he handed the phone back.

“Do you mind if I tag you?” Celeste asked, “I mean, I am the new Ferrari spokesperson after all.” she joked, flipping the hat so it was backwards.

“Sure.”

He watched her. She was so focused on making the post, it was her job after all.

Calum wondered if Harry would mind that she was tagging him. But… as was plainly obvious, he was just Celeste’s friend.

Sitting there, across from the gorgeous model, Calum decided he’d be just that: a friend. He’d be there for her always, or as long as she wanted him around. He’d take her out for waffles and make blanket forts and support her, even if it meant supporting her with another man.

He’d be whatever she needed him to be. And if that was simply a friend, so be it.

***

“Can you believe you’re almost done the world championship?” Celeste asked.

Calum smiled. It had been five months since they’d met. This championship had felt particularly long for some reason, “miss me already?” Calum teased.

He’d been coming back to New York on his time off as much as he could. He was living for the nights he and Celeste spent at the bar they should have met in. The bar that, if he’d had the balls, could have been where they’d met months before. Could have been where they had their first date-

“Of course I do Cal!” Celeste said, “fuck, I wanted to tell you once you got here, but, I can’t hold it in anymore!”

Calum’s skin felt cold and anxiety overcame it. She’d been getting more and more excited about Harry and any time she had news, Calum was scared what it would be.

“Harry and I are getting married.”

Calum’s mouth was dry, when he opened his mouth to speak it hurt and he had to swallow thickly, giving him the time to think, “congratulations.”

“You’ll come right?”

“When is it?” Calum asked, worried by the eagerness in her voice.

Celeste and Harry had just come out as a couple a month earlier, when he’d taken her to an event. Calum hadn’t looked at the pictures but Celeste had sent him snaps of her dress before she went, and Calum had been so upset he’d gone to a gym to punch things.

“Harry wants it soon, weird right? I didn’t think he was the marriage type.”

Calum bit his tongue. He’d never brought up the night in England when Celeste had told him she worried about why she was with Harry. He wanted to bring it up.

He chose not to.

“Anyways, next month I think?”

Calum’s chest hurt.

“So you’re coming right?” the hope in her voice made it worse.

“I’ll be there.” Calum choked out, “I have to go.”

“Aw really?”

“Yeah, sorry, talk later?” Calum collapsed into his bed.

“Good luck in your race tomorrow. Last one, then you’re coming home.”

Home. He’d wondered before if home was a feeling. He’d felt it every time he was in the bar with Celeste, or grabbing waffles, or with her staring at the stars or even the ceiling.

He wondered if he’d ever feel home again.

***

Alexa looked at Calum. He’d not been impressed to be there. Every time Celeste came out in a new white dress, he’d put on a big happy face, but as soon as Celeste was gone he’d frown again, sitting back and sighing.

“Aren’t you happy for her?” Alexa asked. She’d heard about Calum and Celeste being good friends. Hell, part of Alexa wondered if Calum had surpassed her on the friend scale. Not that Alexa had minded, she was busy and working in LA more and more, which made it harder to keep up with Celeste.

“Yeah. Of course.” Calum said.

“You don’t look happy.” Alexa pointed out.

Before Calum could respond, Celeste called for Alexa’s help and Alexa disappeared. Calum pulled out his phone, opening Celeste’s Instagram. The newest picture was one he’d taken. Celeste bending over the pool table to take a shot. She’d kicked his ass that night, and Calum smiled sadly, wondering if she’d still be up for dodgy bar nights after she was married.

Movement caught his eye and he looked up.

Celeste was standing there in the new wedding dress. It had a form-fitting corset that showed off her curves. Plain white and silky with harsher lines rather than a softly rounded neckline. Beautiful tulle layers of soft white fabric puffed out from under the corset.

She looked like a princess.

Calum’s heart leaped in his chest and he looked at her with eyes that betrayed everything… to Alexa, who was watching him carefully.

“What do you guys think?” Celeste asked, spinning.

“It’s the one.” Calum stated.

“I agree.” Alexa nodded.

Celeste beamed, her whole body alight with happiness as she looked at him, “I think so too.”

Celeste turned to go back into the changeroom and Alexa caught Calum’s eye, she frowned at him and Calum looked away.

Alexa felt bad for Calum, and as she helped Celeste out of the dress, Alexa also realized how much respect she had for the man. He’d said he was coming to the wedding. Alexa wondered if that was true.

***

He couldn’t do it.

He had to do it.

Calum sighed, leaning over the sink and splashing water onto his face. When he stood up, the face looking back at him in the mirror seemed put together.

Calum wished it was true.

The door to the bathroom opened and Alexa peeked her head in, “Cal?”

“This is the men’s bathroom.” Calum said, upset that she was disrupting him when he needed time alone.

“Celeste wanted me to come check on you.”

The anger in Calum’s shoulders disappeared and he took a deep breath, turning to Alexa, “I’m fine.” he lied.

Alexa stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, “you’re at your best friend's rehearsal dinner the night before her wedding. Your best friend, who I might add, you’re in love with.”

Calum swallowed thickly, he wasn’t sure what to say.

“It’s okay to admit it to someone Calum.” Alexa said, “I'm sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Calum sighed, running a hand through his curls, “it’s my own fucking fault.”

“It’s not.”

“It is. I should have said something.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.” Calum said, voice rising, “but I should have. Before the wedding, before the engagement, before-” he cut himself off, turning to rest his hands on the sink again, head bowed, “it doesn’t matter.”

“If it’s any consolation, I think you’re a really great guy.” Alexa said. There was a pause, then the bathroom door opened.

Celeste stuck her head in, eyes drifting between Alexa and Calum. For a moment she was expressionless, then she smiled, “what are you two up to?”

“Just talking.” Alexa said, “Calum needs to tell you something.”

Celeste entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She looked radiant as ever, in a soft lavender silky dress that Calum longed to touch. It lit up the green of her eyes and the tanness of her skin and Calum’s mouth went dry looking at her.

It had hurt to spend the whole dinner seated next to her, watching her laugh with Harry. Calum could barely stand it anymore.

“So…” Celeste said, “what’s up?” she looked between Alexa and Calum again.

“I’m going to give you two privacy.” Alexa said, quickly leaving.

Celeste turned to Calum, concern on her face, “is something wrong?”

Calum’s heart was nearly beating out of his chest. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Celeste waited patiently, searching his face for a sign of what was to come.

This was the time to say it. The time to tell her how he felt.

He couldn’t do it.

Couldn’t bear the thought of making her upset, two days before her wedding.

“You’re not coming to the wedding are you?” Celeste frowned.

“No.” Calum breathed out before he could stop himself. He wouldn’t have said it on his own, wouldn't have brought it up, but now that she had… now that she was verbalizing it, he realized there was no way in hell he’d be able to go. Celeste’s eyes were welling with tears and Calum was quick to wipe them away before they could drip down her chin and tarnish her dress, “hey, it’s not you, I uh- work.”

The lie also slipped out before he could stop it. He couldn’t make her think it was her fault. Couldn’t tell her the truth.

“Work called.” he said, sounding more certain, “there’s a new thing they’re trying on my car so I have to get on a plane.”

“You’re flying out?” Celeste asked in confusion, “but your tournament just ended? I thought you were home for good? I planned the wedding so you could come-”

Calum’s heart broke at her words. He brushed more tears away from her face, hands cupping her cheeks. Celeste grabbed his wrists, looking up at him with those big green eyes.

His voice cracked when he spoke, “I’m sorry.”

Celeste moved his hands away from her face and hugged him, her body pressed against his front. Calum’s arms wrapped around her, “you’re going to have a great wedding.” he said, voice hoarse, “big and white and just what you wanted.”

Celeste cried harder and Calum wanted to go outside and crash his ferrari into a wall.

The door to the bathroom opened and Harry peaked his head in, immediately entering when he saw Celeste crying, “What happened?!” Harry asked.

Celeste pulled away from Calum and stepped instead into Harry’s arms, not saying anything as she cried.

“I got called in for work so I can’t make the wedding, I'm flying out tonight.” Calum said. It was easier to lie to Harry, “Celeste is upset I won't be there.”

Harry studied Calum for a moment, then he nodded, “I'm sorry you can’t make it.”

“Me too.” he paused, “I'll go grab Alexa, she’ll have makeup, I don't want to ruin your night-”

“When are you leaving?” Celeste asked suddenly, turning to look at him.

“In two hours.” he lied, eager to have an excuse to leave.

He was glad Celeste was too shocked by the sudden turn of events to ask many questions or prod him for answers. He didn't have any answers. Knew the lies were weak.

Calum turned to leave but Celeste grabbed his hand, “when do you come back?”

“I don’t know.” Calum answered. He didn't know anything.

He’d go to Italy in a few days, that was Ferrari's home base. He’d learn some more Italian so his mechanics could talk to him, he’d-

“Calum?”

“Yeah?”

Celeste opened her mouth then closed it, then opened it again “don’t hurt yourself.”

“I won’t.” Calum looked at her quizzically, unsure where the sudden warning had come from, “send me pictures from the wedding okay?” he wouldn’t look at them.

Celeste nodded. She said nothing else and neither did Calum.

He left the bathroom, bumping into Alexa in the hallway, “what happened?!” Alexa asked, shocked by the tears that were welling in Calum’s eyes.

“I’m skipping the wedding.”

“Did you tell her you love her?” Alexa whispered, following Calum as he attempted to leave the venue.

“No.”

“So what happened?!”

“Told her I’m leaving the country tonight for work-”

“Calum!” Alexa grabbed his arm and made him stop, looking around to make sure no one was looking at them, “you can’t leave.”

“I’m going to go to Italy-”

“You can’t!” Alexa insisted.

“Why not?” Calum asked, beginning to get angry.

“Just-” Alexa looked around again, voice lowering, “please stay in town. Until after the wedding, then you can go wherever you want, you can be out of here tomorrow night. But… trust me Calum. It’s better if you’re here.”

“Why?”

“I just… I have a feeling.”

“A feeling?” Calum laughed, but there was no humour in it.

“Celeste is my best friend. She’s never said anything to me about you but-” Alexa cut herself off as a server walked by, looking at the two brunettes huddled together in secrecy, “just don’t leave the country. Promise me.”

Calum sighed, “fine. I’ll stay, but I’m getting a ticket for tomorrow night. then I’m gone.”

“Okay.”

Calum studied Celeste’s best friend. Wondered what she was thinking. Wondered what she couldn’t say.

***

Celeste had managed to get herself put together for the remaining rehearsal dinner, it was near done anyways. She’d gone home with Alexa, to the apartment they shared when they were both in the city.

Celeste would be moving out as soon as she returned from her honeymoon and her things were already in boxes, a suitcase packed for the trip Harry had planned to celebrate the wedding.

Alexa watched Celeste mope around. If Alexa didn’t know any better, she would have assumed Celeste had just been dumped.

Except that she hadn’t.

“Your wedding is tomorrow, aren’t you excited?” Alexa asked, passing a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream to her friend.

“Yeah,” Celeste frowned, “but Cal won’t be there.”

“Harry will. That’s what matters right?”

Celeste took a deep breath, “yeah.”

“What are you thinking Celeste?” Alexa asked, a question she’d become accustomed to asking. Celeste didn't open up much, even when prodded.

“I don’t know.” Celeste fell down onto her bed, careful not to drop the ice cream.

Her eyes went to the wedding dress hanging there, then to the picture of her and Calum that they’d taken in Italy months earlier. The two of them at Ferrari HQ where he’d shown her around and explained all the cars to her, talking in mangled Italian to the workers who’d smiled at his attempts.

Celeste groaned loudly, “well. I’m getting married tomorrow.”

“Uh huh.” Alexa didn’t sound too convinced.

***

Celeste paced back and forth, hands on her hips. It was an odd sight but not a surprising one for Alexa who stood there watching the fully dressed bride have a panic attack.

“What time is it?!” Celeste asked suddenly, turning to look at Alexa.

“Eleven forty. wedding is in twenty minutes.”

“Oh my god.” Celeste fell onto a chair, hiding her face in her hands while careful not to smudge her makeup.

“Talk to me Celeste.” Alexa said, kneeling in front of her friend.

Celeste looked at Alexa from behind her fingers, then took a deep breath. For a moment Alexa thought Celeste would actually open up, then her mouth shut, “this is a mess.” Celeste whispered.

Alexa sighed, “Celeste. Is it possible, that the reason you were so upset when Calum left last night, is because you wanted him at the wedding-”

“Of course I want him there!” Celeste frowned.

“But maybe not as someone in the crowd? Maybe as the groom?” Alexa asked.

Celeste looked shocked for a moment, staring at her friend as if she’d just said she believed the earth was flat, “what?”

“You and Calum.” Alexa said softly, “do you love him?”

“Of course I love him.”

“As more than a friend.” Alexa specified.

“I-” Celeste looked distressed, “I’m getting married to Harry-”

“Just answer the question.” Alexa took Celeste’s hand gently.

“It doesn’t matter. He’s gone. He chose work over being at my wedding and left the country last night-”

“He doesn’t have work today, and he didn’t leave the country.”

“What?!”

“He didn't come because he couldn’t stand to see you with Harry anymore.”

“What?!” Celeste said, louder this time.

“He loves you.”

Celeste stood up abruptly and Alexa followed suit. Alexa had expected Celeste to be ranting, but the girl in front of her was oddly silent.

Celeste’s hands were shaking as she pulled out her phone. She hit speaker and the sound of ringing filled the room.

“Celeste? Are you okay?” Calum’s voice was worried.

“You lied.”

“What?”

“You’re still in New York?” her voice cracked. The line was quiet, Celeste bit her lip, “can… can you come, and bring your car please?”

“I-”

“Calum please.” Celeste said.

She’d never been one to beg, but there she was. Begging in her wedding dress.

“I’ll be there in fifteen.”

“Please hurry.”

***

Calum got out of the car but it didn’t matter, Celeste was already running down the steps. Her hands clutched the dress, lifting it up as to not dirty it.

She was, in every sense of the word, a runaway bride.

And Calum had never been more in love with her.

He held the door open for the car. He’d chosen the one without a top, it was old but still luxurious. A few girls had told him it was the black version of the car people drove off into the sunset in Grease, but Calum had never fact-checked that claim.

Celeste was beaming. Glowing really. And Calum was smiling back at her, helping her tuck her entire dress into the car before he closed the door and ran to the driver's seat.

The car roared to life, like a battle cry, or perhaps a battle won.

“I need to go to my apartment.” Celeste said and Calum didn’t question it.

She’d yet to tell him anything. But since they were driving away from the church, Calum guessed the wedding was over. He was guilty that it made him happy.

The radio was playing club music, the type of hype music Calum liked to drive to, and Celeste turned it up. Her hair was getting messed up by the air whipping by them but Celeste was laughing, arms in the air.

She looked beautiful. Like a girl going to her wedding, not one running away.

Calum snuck glances at her at the first red light.

He could almost forget about Harry.

Until they drove up to the apartment and Harry was waiting there, leaning against his car. One of his friends was in the driver's seat, but he didn't get out of the car.

The look on Harry’s face was stony and it was obvious to Calum that he knew what was coming. “Calum, I need to talk to him is that okay?”

“Of course.” Calum answered.

Like Harry’s driver, Calum stayed in his car. Watching his best friend, the bride to be, get out and walk towards Harry. They were both dressed for the wedding, and it was odd to see them out on the New York street, even if it was a quiet one.

“Celeste, we need to be at the church-” Harry said.

“Harry, I love you but I can't marry you.” Celeste stated, “and I’m so sorry it took me this long to figure it out.”

Harry was quiet.

“You’re one of the most wonderful people I've ever met.” Celeste continued, “and I needed to tell you this in person, but I can't do this. We’ve only been seeing each other for six months and we’re rushing things, don’t you think we’re rushing things?”

Harry sighed but nodded, he’d had the feeling too.

“Besides, we’re amazing friends and I do love you Harry, but I’m not in love with you.”

“Not the way you are with Calum.” Harry stated.

It knocked the air out of Celeste’s lungs. It was as if everyone had known her feelings except her, and maybe Calum, “I-”

“It’s okay.” Harry held up a hand, “s’ not like I would have been able to live in New York forever, and you can’t give up your sodding chicken and waffles.”

“Don’t bash the deep-fried chicken and waffles Harold.” Celeste said, faking offense, but then she was smiling and so was Harry.

“Come here.” Harry said, opening his arms.

They hugged and Celeste was happy neither of them were crying. It showed that this was right.

“I’m not going to deal with wedding guests.” Harry mused while pulling away.

“Me neither.” Celeste said, “we could both just not show up? That sounds like a good song.”

“You have left me with a lot of material.” Harry laughed, “well, I'll see you around Celeste.”

“See you around Harry.” Celeste said fondly, giving the brit one last smile before he got into his car and left. Then she bounded over to the car, leaning down to rest her arms on Calum’s door, “hey.”

“That looked like it went okay.” Calum said.

“It did. So, my bags are packed upstairs for a honeymoon that I’m not going on… what do you say we go somewhere?”

Calum smiled, “where to princess?”

“Take me back to Monte Carlo.”

***

The sound of the hotel room door opening woke Celeste up, her eyes landing on Calum. They’d arrived the night before and had immediately passed out, both too jetlagged to do much. Calum offered her a smile and Celeste stretched, yawning the words “where were you?”

“Wanted to get you breakfast but I didn't think the stuff downstairs was up to your standards.” Calum said, leaning on a wall. He wasn’t sure where to stand.

They were in Monaco.

They’d talked and watched movies the entire flight but neither had brought up the wedding.

He wasn’t sure where he stood with her. Wasn’t sure what he was allowed to ask.

Celeste could feel his awkwardness as she studied him. Then she stood up, adjusting the Ferrari shirt she was wearing. “Calum?”

“Hm?”

“Come here?”

Calum smiled softly, uncrossing his arms over his chest, he took a few steps forward. Celeste held out her arms and pulled Calum to her, looking up at him, “Calum. Do you know I love you?”

“Yeah.” Calum said, he’d heard it many times, after every phone call, after every ride he gave her home after a hangout.

“Do you know I'm in love with you?”

Calum’s breath caught in his chest and he wet his lips, mind racing. The thought that he was the reason for her ditching her wedding had crossed his mind but he’d pushed it to the side, instead deciding to be, as always, Celeste’s friend.

“Calum?” Celeste breathed his name, brushing her fingers over his cheekbone.

Instead of speaking he kissed her.

He’d gone so long not saying the words ringing through his brain, they could wait a little while longer.

His lips were soft on Celeste’s at first, hesitant, as if he was afraid she would pull away. Only when Celeste wrapped her arms around the back of his neck did he get more comfortable, one hand cupping her face while the other went to her waist, pulling her closer.

Calum pulled away and his entire body shuddered for a moment, in something like pure ecstasy, maybe shock.

Celeste smiled up at him, kissing his lips once more softly, “Are you okay?” she asked.

Calum laughed, returning her grin, he shook his head a little, “I just-” he couldn’t find the right words to explain how he was feeling, Celeste waited patiently and- god, he loved her so much.

She could see it in his eyes.

Calum’s fingers dug into Celeste’s hips and she beamed at him, brushing her fingers against his cheeks. She could feel what was unsaid and almost appreciated it more because he couldn’t find the words to say it. She’d always had a connection with Calum that seemed to be on another level, and moments like this confirmed it to her.

Moments like this. She enjoyed the thought of that, of more to come.

“Are you going to kiss me again?” Celeste teased, eyes darting down to look at his lips then up at him again.

Calum kissed her, not as hesitant as the first kiss. His hands went to her waist immediately, one of them dipping down to just above her bum. His fingers bunched in the red fabric and the cool air met Celeste’s ass. She was in a thong, Calum hadn't noticed yet because she’d been covered by the shirt since the night before, but when his hand dipped a little lower, he groaned into her mouth and Celeste knew he’d discovered the flimsy fabric covering her.

His hand kneaded her ass harshly, and Celeste smiled against his lips, loving the way it felt, loving the way Calum was groaning in anticipation. Celeste pressed against his front, already able to feel his hard on straining his grey sweats.

Then Celeste pulled away and Calum let her go, eyes opening questioningly.

Celeste pulled off the Ferrari shirt Calum had given her, revealing her near nudity underneath. Calum licked his lips, eyes focused on her chest. Then Celeste sat down onto the bed, her thick thighs looking deliciously curvy and grabable, Calum couldn’t hold himself back. He was between her legs before he could help himself, kneeling on the floor and tearing off her black silk thong.

“Calum!” Celeste laughed, fingers tangling in his curls. She’d not expected him to be so eager, expected him to go for kissing first. She had no idea how long he’d been waiting to taste her.

Calum’s fingers danced over Celeste’s calf and he moved it to be on his shoulder, his lips trailing up higher and higher. He kissed both thighs, nipping a little at the skin, fingers digging in as he held her in place.

“So pretty.” he mused, more to himself than anything.

Her fingers gripped his curls when his lips finally met her, wrapping around her clit. He’d had enough buildup. Enough teasing. He wanted to hear her moaning his name, wanted to watch her come undone under him.

The first moan was soft, more like a whimper, and Calum’s whole body felt like it was lit in flame. He sucked harder on her clit, fingers digging into her delicious thighs where they were on his shoulders. Her skin was warm and smelled like flowers, he wondered how she always smelled so good.

Celeste’s eyes were closed, lips parted, sinful, soft noises whispered into the cosmos as her lover devoured her.

Her lover… yes, that is what he was.

Calum was her lover in every sense of the word. It had just taken her a long time to realize it. He did everything for her and as he brought her to her first high, her heart filled with love. Love that had always been there, unidentified and growing. Now that she knew what it was, she was never going to let him go.

Calum licked his lips, looking up at Celeste. Her eyes were still closed, chest rising and falling softly as she chased her breath. He took her legs off of his shoulders and Celeste opened her eyes, looking down at him with a lazy smile. A comfortable smile. As if they’d done this a thousand times, “hi.” she said, voice near a whisper.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

Her smile widened, “come here.” she said, instead of answering his question.

Calum moved to be on the bed with her, settled between her legs that wrapped around his waist.

He kissed her shoulder first, then her collarbone, moving up her neck before he reached her lips. When he kissed her, he kissed her gently. One of his hands came up to brush over her nipple, earning a soft shudder from Celeste that made him smile against her lips. “You’re so beautiful.” he told her, kisses traveling to her neck as she wrapped her arms around him, a sigh of content leaving her lips, “fucking love you.” he murmerred.

Celeste’s skin felt warm and her heart lurched in her chest. She knew he loved her, but hearing him say it was different. She brought his lips back to hers and kissed him like her life depended on it, part of her thought it did.

The pressure of his hard, clothes cock, against her sensitive entrance had her moaning within seconds, eager to get rid of Calum’s clothes. Soon, his Ferrari shirt has joined the one she was wearing on the floor and his joggers following soon after.

“I wanna top.” Celeste said against Calum’s lips and he paused, giving her a look but agreeing. He got onto his back and watched her straddle him, lining herself up with him. She sank down slowly, both of them groaning at the way it felt.

He had to admit it was a beautiful view. The first bounce had her breasts moving in a way that made Calum’s mouth water. His hands reached up to cup her breasts and Celeste moaned, continuing to bounce up and down on him.

Calum hadn’t had many religious experiences in his life.

This was one of them.

One of his hands went down to her ass, giving it a test smack that made Celeste laugh, her eyes opening. Her hands went to his chest and she leaned over him, kissing his neck while she continued bouncing up and down. He could see the way her ass was moving with each bounce and Calum groaned, eyes closing as he enjoyed the way it felt.

He was usually the top, usually the one doing all the work. It was nice to just lay back and relax and be doted on, especially since he loved her. Every kiss made him tingle and his heart was racing in his chest.

He felt the way he always felt after a race. It was exhilarating.

His arms wrapped around Celeste, slowing her motions so he could roll them so he was on top. The pace he wanted was faster than the one she had been giving him, and now it was his turn to make her feel good.

She looked so beautiful under him, and the feeling of her breasts pressed against his bare chest did not go unnoticed. He wanted to be kissing her, touching her, loving her.

He angled his hips differently, hitting a spot inside of her that had Celeste’s legs tightening around his waist, “holy shit.” she breathed, moaning loudly.

Her fingers went to his curls again, tugging lightly at the dark strands. Their lips were passionate and slow against each other, tongues clashing, teeth biting. Then Calum grabbed one of her hands, interlocking their fingers as he pressed it down into the bed.

“I’m gonna-” Celeste began but Calum cut her off with his lips, pace quickening.

The whole bed was moving with each thrust, and Celeste’s whines were getting louder as he kissed her. He could feel her fluttering around him, a sign of her impending high. Celeste squeezed Calum’s fingers tight, high whimpers stopping as her whole body tensed, orgasm hitting her.

She was so tight around him that Calum came too, thrusts getting sloppy as they rode out their highs. Their kisses were open-mouthed, both of them moaning into each other's mouths.

When they were both done, Calum stopped gripping her hand so hard, instead, he pressed soft kisses over her face. “Fuck, I love you.” he whispered.

Celeste smiled up at him, “I love you more.”

“Not possible.”

***

The usual patrons of the bar watched the gorgeous couple play pool.

She was dressed in red, a colour she’d adopted to support her boyfriend. The colour made her glow, but her boyfriend’s smile was brighter. He watched her with complete adoration, even when she sunk a ball and got one step closer to beating him.

They were the same people they’d been when they were strangers.

He’d quit smoking, claiming he didn't need the high anymore, after all, he was with the love of his life. He still sometimes brought a cigarette or two to give to the bouncers, chatting with them outside before joining Celeste in the bar.

Celeste still played pool with girls who challenged her, but this time, Calum would come to stand behind her. Watching, his arms looped around his girlfriend, enjoying the way she chatted to the girls like they were old friends.

But they were happier, elevated versions of themselves. They’d always dazzled before, but together, they were an unstoppable force. They had the type of happiness people could only dream of.

Calum had always heard that if you dated your best friends, things would be okay.

With Celeste, his best friend, in his arms, he knew it was true. Her smile was contagious, it always had been. Watching her dance away, her dress teasing him, Calum was thankful for everything that had happened.

There’d been a time he hated himself for not talking to her, but it had led him to where they were now. He’d never believed in fate.

He did now.

********

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