#could write an entire essay on why its so good.

[vampyrjuice]

did not remember how good of an episode the body (btvs) is. oh my god

[nyxofdemons]

this was going to be like a mile long essay but i just realized the most concise way to say it is that "it feels like a retcon that blitz has been so resentful and hostile towards fizz all this time since he was supposed to feel guilty" is simply not a good criticism when we have been shown, time and time again, that blitz's number one defense mechanism when he feels guilty or judged or attacked is to lash out, to deflect and ignore all his responsibility, and to shift the blame to someone else. that's like. his defining character flaw

[dumbasswhatever]

at the beginning of the trial for 4-2, the judge makes it pretty clear that he hasnt seen klavier in court since the trial of seven years ago, and he even says that he worried klavier might still be upset about it. but klavier doesnt actually confirm or deny any of this

this dialogue drives me so insane. did he really stay away from all legal matters for seven years? did he prosecute cases and just happened to deal with other judges? did he work on cases that he didnt prosecute (like how edgeworth worked on sl-9 without being the prosecutor)??? he didnt even start prosecuting cases right after kristoph was arrested, there were about two months between 4-1 and 4-2, so it seems like he really did just start standing in court again to see if apollo was a good lawyer or not. im losing my mind i need to see klavier gavin again i need to know if he really did stop working as a prosecutor entirely for seven years and if he really did suspect that kristoph manipulated him all along

[sycoraxophone]

I NEED to make him worse

[shittywriterbrain]

apologies to everyone who has to interact with me today or tomorrow because i just CANNOT be normal about hamlet and i WILL be doing this inside my head

[judyalvqrez]

the way people are once again removing all the nuance and moral greyness and complexity out of the last of us, but especially joel miller’s character is kinda concerning lol

[othercrossee]

oky okay okay okay so theres so many reasons why theyd pick irida as leader im crazy im thinking rn so much

[finnlongman]

When I was an undergrad, I made a point of trying to sidetrack my supervisors as much as possible during supervisions, so that we could go off on a tangent and use up half the time discussing something barely related to my essay, and therefore have less time to dwell on its flaws.

(For those unfamiliar with the Cambridge supervision system, each week you're required to write an essay about a topic you probably knew nothing about before being handed the reading list, and then you spend an hour discussing it one-on-one, or in small groups depending on the subject, with your supervisor, who may be a random PhD student or may be the person who wrote half the reading list, depending on your luck.)

Once, I'd had a particularly bad week and had not written my essay about Scandinavian settlement in England, so I was having a more discussion-based supervision drawing on some bullet points I'd written. This would have been in my first term of first year, if I remember correctly. And we were talking about reasons why Vikings might settle rather than simply raiding, and my supervisor made some comment about them wanting "somewhere to wash their socks".

Sensing a potential avenue for distraction and also genuinely curious, I immediately asked, "Did Vikings wear socks?". My supervisor took the bait, and we passed the next ten minutes discussing a sock found preserved in York, of seemingly Scandinavian make, that would appear to answer that question in the affirmative. I remember very little else from that module, but nine years down the line, I remembered that there was a Scandinavian-style sock found in York.

Anyway, today I showed up to the department's graduate presentations (compulsory) and discovered that the first of the two talks was entirely about this sock. I was honestly so pleased. I now know several more things about this sock! I have some details to pad out my vague understanding that there was something distinctive about how it was made! I have been introduced to the complex question of "did the English wear socks or were they a Scandinavian fashion?"! (Answer: there is no definitive evidence for widespread early English sock-wearing, but textile evidence is complicated, so this may not be conclusive.)

This is probably not what most people took from the "England Before The Normans" paper, but frankly, I never was any good at keeping track of kings. I would rather learn about the socks. And today -- just as in that supervision nine years ago -- I did.

[crowleys-hips]

Pietà

art by @crowleyholmes

In the final moments of the last battle to save Earth, Crowley deals the last blow and he watches triumphantly as the Metatron collapses before him. But he doesn't come out unscathed. With a holy weapon pierced into his abdomen and time slipping away from him, he makes peace with his doomed fate as he awaits death in his angel's arms. Aziraphale will -not- have it though, as he does everything in his power to save the being he loves the most, risking everything to keep him.

Crowley doesn't notice the holy weapon piercing his upper abdomen at first, too busy still holding up his own infernal weapon as he watches the body of the powerful entity before him slowly start to crumble, a triumphant, wicked smile painted across his lips, adrenaline and victorious exhilaration coursing through his veins after a long, hard-fought battle against Heaven's tyrant. Then it hits him like a freight train. Pain so poignant it makes the world seem to bend. He stumbles a few steps back, dropping his weapon as his mind catches up with the sensation. The pain throbs violently, rapidly spreading like poison from his abdomen down to his every limb. He stops breathing as a weak attempt to stop it, but it doesn't help much. He just stands there, limbs shaking until his wobbling legs collapse. He grunts at the shock of pain that shoots up his body as his knees hit the ground and he falls limply on his side, mouth gaping helplessly like a fish out of water. The pain courses through his entire body, and it’s worse than any torture he’s ever endured in hell or anywhere. He's been whipped, burned, shot, cut in half, dismembered, had his bones repetitively broken, and worst of all, been forced to write a five hundred page essay on why demons should never do good deeds. And of course, he's been stabbed before. Quite a common occurrence during his first centuries on Earth. But never has he ever come close to a holy weapon of this caliber before. Holiness so venomous it stings and burns right through his very soul, chafing at it, tearing it, corroding it bit by burning bit, slowly disintegrating the delicate fabric of his essence. He wants to scream, but finds himself voiceless, so he just lies there motionless, ichor oozing out of his wound, pooling around him, collecting in his mouth, and trickling down his cheek. 

It feels like hours -though it must've been just a couple minutes- before he is found. A familiar voice calls out to him in the distance, a voice he knows as well as his own. It sounds pained and desperate, and he wants nothing more than to run to it and soothe its owner’s woes until there's nothing left but gentleness in the world. The voice sounds way farther than it is, for in an instant, there are soft hands carefully scooping him up, cradling him close, surrounding him in warmth. His eyes try to focus on the blurry figure above him.

“...wley,” The echo of his voice reaches him. “Crowley, oh God Crowley answer me,” he pleads. 

A different kind of ache crushes his chest. It's fine, everything is fine. I took care of it, he wants to say. His mouth twitches, trying to form words, knowing they could very well be his last.

“Angel,” he manages to whisper. “My angel…”

Continue Reading on AO3

[kvothe-kingkiller]

I'm not the best writer when it comes to writing convincing essays or whatever, but I'm going to give this a go because it's something that I've thought for a long time that I've never seen anyone really acknowledge unless I bring it up first. (also I am sick and don't really want to do much editing here, just rambles, so good luck)

I think that when most (not all, but most) people get salty about 'modern art', they are not salty about the things people think they are salty about. When they say "this isn't art", theres an important bit that they're not articulating. What I think most of them mean is "this isn't art that should be in a museum." "this isn't art that should cost this much" "this isn't art that should be getting this kind of recognition". And there is a huge difference between that and just saying "this isn't art"

Firstly, all of the arguments about why modern art is in fact art straight up....don't apply. They don't address the problem, they don't answer the question. This isn't really anyone's fault per se, given that it is addressing the literal statement, it's just I think most people aren't actually thinking that literal statement.

So then what do they really mean? Like I said, I think they're trying to articulate why they're frustrated that this art is in a museum when "they could do it". So when you say "okay then, you do it" that doesn't address the core issue, which is "but why is this getting recognition for it, and I would get none" because yes, unless they are famous, they would get Zero recognition for it. Nobody would be lining up to buy their art, no one would ask to put it in a museum. Best place they can hope to have this displayed is a fridge door.

When you look at a piece of fine art, most can see the amount of effort put into it. They see how much training it took to get there, they see how much time it took to put those strokes on that canvas and they can go "yeah, that took skill, that took effort, not everyone can do that. it deserves recognition". And a lot of modern art does take skill, it's just skill that isn't easily noticeable to the average viewer, such as rothko's color fields, they do take a lot of skill and effort, you just can't see it if you don't know. But a lot of modern art that people complain about isn't something that has skill that's not recognized, it just requires very little technical skill at all (not a condemnation, btw).

When you're talking about something 'anyone can do' that piece's value is often not a recognition of skill, or even of the message, it's a recognition of a name. It's similar to having a gucci bag because it's a gucci bag, not because you care remotely about the bag. Yes, art isn't displayed because of how much effort went into it, but it's a huge industry that many many people are making money through from sheer name recognition alone.

Like that one painting of that one artist's (I forget which artist and my cursory google isnt finding it, but also its just an example) where it got replicated and sold to a bunch of people for a large amount of money so they could all have something that had a small chance of being a genuine painting by the artist, that's an excellent example of the fact that a lot of the gallery-level art world is Entirely about the name, not about the piece itself. If someone just made that painting but didn't say it could be from the artist, then who cares?

If you go to ringo starr's art website (https://www.ringostarrart.com/) then you can see that some of his work, especially his older work, is of that category of stuff that many people would say "I could do that" to. For instance, these two? 1,400 and 6,000 pounds respectively for a PRINT of these from his website

....okay this one I kinda enjoy.

but still. 2,000 pounds for a print.

All of this is possible because he's ringo fucking starr, he can sell his paintings for whatever he wants. If I tried to sell those for that much, I'd be laughed out of the room. All of it is just clout, it's just how big your name is and how much you can use that as leverage.

This is not to say that other forms of art don't also have this issue, they do, especially with people devaluing creative works so much today. But you could probably get a few commissions if you sell realistic art or do commissions of people's characters, while you Cannot get any money trying to sell stuff like ringos art unless you already have an audience who will buy it.

This does somewhat lead into a discussion of how art curators pick which artists are 'good' somewhat arbitrarily, but that's a whole other post.

Doing art for 'yourself' vs for other people or money is also a whole other post, one which I've actually seen quite a lot on here. But suffice to say if your response to all of this is 'just make art for yourself! Why do you need recognition?' then maybe go find some of those posts. It's not bad to want recognition, and it's not bad to question why that guy is getting much more recognition for the exact same thing you're doing just because he has a bunch of rich friends who are able to host fancy parties and go 'hmm. yes this is good art.' (not that all modern artists had rich friends, but they did almost all get Extremely lucky in some shape or another that led to them now being widely accepted as good artists).

You cannot make a living off modern art unless you're well known, and if you happen to be well known already, you could likely make a living off modern art without having any experience, and that's what a lot of people hate about modern art, even if they don't articulate it. While some would, most wouldn't say "my five year old could do that" to someone's personal piece that they made themselves and hung up in their home, or that their friend made and gave to them. They say that about the pieces bought for thousands of dollars or millions of dollars.

And I don't want people to think that I do hate modern art, I don't (though this is tumblr, so I'm pissing on the poor just by writing this). I don't hate any of the famous modern artists, I don't think modern art isn't art. I do hate the industry that says their art is suddenly worth something just because some rich fuckers somewhere decided they should be, and anything I tried to do in a similar vein, original or not, would be better suited to sit in a coffee shop and continuously marked down and never sold.

So next time you say "so why don't you make it", maybe ask yourself if you would buy it.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Warmly greet!🫰 I just came across your blog today and I'm already in love with it!🖤🖤🖤 Could I leave a request here where Puppeteer, Jason, Candy Pop and LJ have a S/O who has insecurities about not being good enough for them? Because, come on...they're supernatural, not quite human, and their S/O is a regular, weak human, at least from the S/O's point of view...

Oooh thank you, friend! Also, i never get to write for Candypop or LJ so i am excited to do it!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Puppeteer

He will just kind of stare at you when you tell him those feelings

Like??? Are you kidding???

He is so obsessively in love with you that the thought of you feeling like you aren't enough for him is wild to him

Instantly he will assure you that you are more than he could ever dream of, and how much he loves you

He doesnt love you for supernatural abilities or powers, he loves you for you

Again, the thought of you not being enough for him doesn't even really comprehend in his mind

it's so insane to him that you, his most favorite person in the world who he couldn't live without, thinks that they aren't enough for him

If anything, he isn't enough for you, in his opinon

you are a literal deity walking on earth, and he is lucky enough to even witness your beauty and you think you arent enough???

Yeah, those thoughts are snuffed out rather quickly by him

He will spend the entire day going over every little thing he adores about you if he has to

Jason The Toymaker

He is just kind of confused when you express your feelings to him

"Now, what's this all about?" he asks with a pitiful look towards you

He honestly thinks that it's kind of weird that those feelings are even something humans are capable of feeling

What does he care that you don't have any weird abilities?

"Even when you are old and grey I will still love you. I will love you when you are in pain, and I will love you when you are happy. You being human makes no difference to me, because I love you. Even when you breathe your last breath, your soul will live on with me in the form of my favorite doll I will keep on a special shelf, pristine and upkept"

He's kind of a helpless romantic lol

Bro gave you a whole essay

anyways, he literally could not care less if you are magical or not, he's just thinks you're neat <33

CandyPop

He kind of thinks its funny that you think that

He will snort and look at you like you're joking "why??"

"You shouldn't feel that way. It's pointless to. Because you and I both know that no matter what, I still love you. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't like you at least a little bit"

He will joke around with you and make you try to feel good about being human

You are allowed to go pretty much wherever you please without being called a demon, he can't

Your squishy flesh human body is quite sustainable on its own, being able to morph and adapt to extreme situations, which he thinks is neat

And his personal favorite about humans, specifically you, you have such a wide array of expressing yourself! You have emotions, art, studies, etc

He loves you being human and you not liking being human is strange to him

Laughing Jack

He understands the insecurity

He can't say he's ever felt it, because he gives literally no fucks, but he understands

He will do whatever you want him to do about it, really

Lord knows he doesn't know what to do

If you wanna rant, he'll listen

If you wanna just be doted on, that's what he'll do

Whatever makes you feel better

Honestly, he does find it a little peculiar that you don't like being human

Like, if he could be 5'10", wear whatever he wants, do whatever he wants, go whatever he wants, etc, he'd be soooo happy

His 7'6" ass could never

[twinkrundgren]

a weeks worth of work... for a show i love to hate, and hate to love.

over the course of getting stockholmed into enjoying the setting of hazbin hotel, i ended up liking angel dust the most. even if he's an annoying gay stereotype with the most cliche'd backstory possible, at its heart i still like him and see potential for a three dimensional character if he was just written better. i think he's a fan favorite for a reason, despite his cliches: he's charismatic, funny, and pathetic with probably the only backstory taken seriously by the story.

he's also the only one to go through real character development in a breezy 8 episodes, being probably the only upstanding member of the hazbin hotel by the end of season 1 but my critiques on pacing and writing are better left to my friend robin who's a lot better versed in analysing *why* hazbin's writing is so bad.

anyway, here's a portfolio-worthy turnaround of my angel dust redesign. a lot of it was just making him more spider like, for the most part aside from all the random spots on his body i think his design is pretty well done but it could be stockholm again. read more cause its an essay on all the design choices i made

one of the main things i did was flesh out his head shape: for a long time angel dust's head shape felt like the worst of drawing for 2d, his hair and tufts are so entirely cheated to the side no matter the angle that it was impossible to understand what he'd look like at every angle, so i simplified it to a half circle shape where his big hair tuft is just overlayed on top, cheated to the side no matter the angle unless he's looking up/down, where i drew what i think those angles would look like.

he also now has spider fangs at the sides of his mouth, with one gold to match valentino's gold tooth. since spiders don't have teeth, he doesn't either, but can be drawn with some if the expression needs it (though i noticed that stolas is never drawn with teeth no matter his expression, so maybe that's not needed.)

instead of a bowtie he has a choker with a cock ring on it. you know what its referencing.

the spider thorax is attached a bit higher up than a tail would be, not only because of actual spider anatomy but to give him enough room to get dirty as his career requires him to do. it can flip up as well, i imagine its very manipulable.

leg designs were mostly to specify the sort of rhythm and curving i want his legs to work at. it's not perfect, but i think if someone was drawing from this reference they'd have a good understanding of how i want his legs to be drawn. they're one of my favorite aspects of his design and i think specifying how they'd bend is very important.

fun fact: i thought i made his legs too long, but comparatively to the canonical design he's a LOT more leggy. i even think you could get away with giving him more leg and the design still feels proportional.

[luci-is-a-bitch-x3x]

Obey Me! Beelzebub's & Belphegor's reaction to: Mc & the strange noise.

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Welcome! to another part of this adventure! The characters may not be how you imagine! I apologize for any poor jokes, bad spelling, and terrible grammar. Without further ado, please enjoy the content. ♡

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Imagine Mc is up late at night doing whatever. Mc hears a really strange noise, so they pull out their D.D.D and text the HoL group chat. "Hey did you guys hear that noise??" Mc waits a few minutes after hearing the noise a second time, Mc decides to message the group chat again. "Helllloooo?? Guys??" Mc sits in their room anxiously waiting for at least one of the brothers to respond. Why were they not responding? What could the noise be? What if its something bad? The longer Mc waits the more anxious Mc gets. When Mc hears the noise for a third time they decide they'll deal with the noise themselves. Mc sends one last message to the group chat "Fine ignore me, I'll go check out the noise myself." With the message sent Mc goes to leave their room. With an uneasy feeling Mc decides they need a weapon, they either grab one or decide to get one along the way. The brothers arent answering better safe than sorry right? Mc finally heads out into the dark hallways of HoL, in search of finding the source of the noise. What will happen next??

Beelzebub

Mc was up late trying to finish an essay for one of their classes. The noise threw off their thought process causing them to not be able to work on the essay. The brothers not responding in the group chat made Mc feel annoyed but also uneasy. Mc looked around their room for a weapon only to decide they couldn't find one. With a nervous sigh Mc ventures into the dark hallway unarmed, using their D.D.D as a light to guide them.

Mc didn't know where the noise came from, so they stand around until they hear the noise again. When they hear the noise again Mc shakes their head with a smile, the noise is coming from the kitchen its probably just Beel. Mc knows Beel gets Midnight snacks sometimes. When he clears the entire fridge out. Mc decides to go to the kitchen, they could use a break from writing their essay. Mc walks towards the kitchen feeling comfortable. It had to be Beel in the kitchen, what else could be in there? Mc thinks they are just being paranoid, until they get closer to the kitchen. Mc realizes the kitchen light isn't on which makes them stop in their tracks for a moment. When the strange noise is heard coming from the dark kitchen again, Mc physically jumps in suprise. Mc's heart pounds against their chest, so loud and rapid they swear they can hear/feel their heartbeat in their ears. Mc takes a deep breath, clutches their D.D.D tightly, and walks forward. Mc peaks around the corner of the kitchen doorway, shining their D.D.D flashlight into the kitchen with a shaky hand. They shine the light around the dark kitchen just to see..... Mc lets out a relieved laugh, there sat a cat on the kitchen counter, the cat was stuck in a bag, probably having tried to get the food that was left in the bag. When Mc realizes the cat is stuck they quickly switch on the kitchen light and rush over to help the cat, once the cat is safe and free, they place the cat on the floor and watch it scurry off. Mc shakes their head with a smile, knowing Satan will be scolded when the cat is found by Lucifer. Mc feels realived but also still incredibly uneasy, they found out what the sound was, why were they still on edge?? Mc sighed and decided to get a bottle of water, figuring hydrating would help ease their thoughts. As they pull the water out of the fridge a sound is heard behind them, and out of panic and suprise Mc whips around and throws the bottle at the source of the sound....

(This is meant to be read as if its happening at the same time as that ^^ its basically Beelzebub's POV) Beel had been being a good boy like always such a sweet baby and had gone to bed at a reasonable time, well reasonable for a demon. Beel however woke up in the middle of the night needing food, his stomach was growling so loud it woke him and the pain his empty stomach cause him to feel was enough to make him sit up. Beel went to get up and go to the kitchen when he saw his D.D.D blinking, signalling he had a message. Confused, tired and hungry, Beel picked his D.D.D up and ate it checked what the message was. When he saw what Mc had sent the group chat he suddenly felt less hungry, still hungry just now mpre focused on being worried. What if Mc got hurt checking it out alone. Beel couldn't allow that, he immediately left his and Belphie's room in search of Mc. I feel like Beel or Asmo has the best sight out of all of the brothers. Beel had no problem seeing in the dark, he listened carefully and when he heard soft footsteps he followed them determinedly. He had to make sure Mc was safe.

As Beel follows the footsteps he doesn't even realize they are entering the kitchen, to worried about Mc to focus on his own hunger. When Beel finally gets close to the kitchen he sees the light on and puts some pep in his step. Beel watches a cat fly past him and run off towards Satan's room, Beel pays no mind. He quickly walks to the kitchen doorway and to his relief, finds Mc getting a drink from the fridge. With Beel now calm and content with Mc's safety his attention focuses back on his hunger, before he can even say anything to Mc a loud almost animalistic growl leaves his stomach as it cries out for food. The Avatar of Gluttony watches as Mc fearfully whips around and chucks a water bottle at him, Beel doesnt even realize he opens his mouth and catches the water bottle skillfully in his mouth instead of hitting him. Beel isn't aware he caught the water bottle until he hears the loud crunch of the plastic bottle and the water in his mouth.

(Back to Mc's POV?!??) Mc immediately starts apologizing to the gentle giant, quickly explaining how they were on edge and he startled them, Beel however seemed to pay no mind as he happily ate the thrown water bottle. Once Beel was done munching on the plastic bottle he waundered over to the fridge for a midnight snack, kindly offering to share some with Mc. "What kind of midnight snack do you want Mc? I'll let you have first pick."

Once Beel gathered his mountain of food for his "midnight snack" sir thats a midnight meal- mc and Beel went to Mc's room. Beel didn't want to wake Belphie up by eating, and Mc still had an essay to finish. Beel being sweet boy he is offered to stay up and keep Mc company while they wrote the last couple of paragraphs for the essay. When Mc finally finishes the essay they stretch and look to find Beel sitting on the floor close by, looking at them like a puppy looks at its owner. Mc yawns and thanks Beel for keeping them company while they finished their school work, as a thank you Mc offers for Beel to sleep in their bed. Beel may not be his still he happily accepts the offer. Mc and Beel cuddle up on Mc's bed, Mc falls asleep first. Beel keeps his arms secure around them, he may be a man of few words, but he understands Mc was scared earlier even if he didnt mention it. He didn't want Mc to feel embarrassed or to make them feel scared again. As Mc slept peacefully in his arms Beel swore to them- "I will always protect you Mc." Beel eventually fell back to sleep holding Mc close.

Belphegor

Mc had made the mistake of letting Belphie drag them into a mid day "5 minute" nap. The nap had lasted all day, they got woken up by Beel for dinner, so they weren't tired when bedtime came. They were laying in their bed playing a random game on their D.D.D when they heard the noise. Mc wasnt suprised Belphie didn't respond in the group chat, but the other brothers not responding made them nervous, yeah it was late at night but one of the brothers always seemed to be up. Mc looked around their room but they couldn't seem to find a hood weapon. So with nothing other than their D.D.D they are using as a flashlight, they venture into the dark hallway, in search of the strange noise. The noise seemed to come from the library, Mc thought it might be Satan or Lucifer, but since neither had responded in the group chat Mc wasn't so sure.

Mc nervously heads towards the hallway, shining their flashlight at shoulder height, not even thinking to look down at the floor. The strange sound can still be heard coming from the library, the sound is constant and sounds almost like a bag being ruffled or moved around. Mc's heart pounds in their chest, their eyebrows are furrowed as they try and figure out what would be making that kind of a sound. Mc gets a little bit between their room and the library, focusing more on the confusing sound than where their walking, they suddenly trip over something. Mc crashes to the ground, it hurts but its not that bad, just ending up with a scrapped elebow or knee, and most likely a bumped head. Mc groans as they rub their head, their D.D.D had flown out of their hands when they fell. Mc was so focused on their own pain that when they groaned in pain they didnt hear the person they tripped over groaning in pain too.

(This is meant to be read as if its happening at the same time as that ^^ its basically Belphegor's POV) Belphie had been a little upset when him and Mc were woken up for dinner, but he got up and ate anyways. What really upset him was that Mc went to their room after dinner instead of going to take a nap in the attic with him again. Mc claimed 'they weren't tired after sleeping all day', because Mc wouldn't take a nap with him Belphie had wandered off to nap somehwere on his own. When Belphie woke up again it seemed kind of late, Belphie looked around his random nap spot for Mc. When he didn't see them he got up, Belphie went walking towards Mc's room clutching his cow pillow, still half asleep and grumbling incoherent things. Belphie however only made it half way to Mc's room before he crumbled tiredly to the floor and fell asleep on the ground cuddling his cow pillow, deciding to just dream of Mc.

Belphie did just that, he was having a wonderful dream with Mc and Beel in it when he was woke up by getting kicked in the gut, then stepped on, when he heard someone land on the ground next to him he assumed they tripped over them. Belphie didn't open his eyes, move or care until he heard Mc's voise groaning in pain, realizing Mc tripped over him, Belphie opened his eyes and turned over so he could face Mc, Mc's D.D.D's flashlight was shining their way, so he could see that Mc's eyes where closed while they rubbed their body in pain. Belphie being the little shit he is Belphie decided to reach his hand out and touch Mc hoping to catch them by suprise. What he didn't expect was for Mc to kick out at whatever had touched them. He watched as Mc's leg shot out and kicked him in the shoulder chest area, as their eyes shot open in suprise and fear, after Mc kicked him they scooted away from him in fear until they realized it was him. It didn't hurt Belphie but by the suprise and how horrified Mc looked that they accidently hit him, Belphie obviously had to tease them- "Damn Mc, you hurt me tripping over me and yet I was nice enough to try and check on you, and you hit me some more? Last time ill ever check on you." Belphie has that teasing playing smirk on his face as he teases them.

(Mc's POV again) Mc apologizes and tells Belphie about the strange noise, which can still be heard coming from the library. Belphie teases them for being freaked out over something like that while still being a brat and teasing them for hitting him on accident over some "strange noise", Belphie snickers when Mc tells him that he should come with them to investigate the noise. "Alright scaredy cat I'll come with you, only if you let me sleep in you're room with you after this" Belphie swings his arm lazily towards the library where the sound continues to come from, giving Mc his usual lazy smirk. Lets be honest hes sleeping in Mc's room with them no matter what, so Mc takes his deal and drags him towards the library with them. Mc shines their D.D.D as a light and walks slightly in the lead, Belphie is lazily attached to their side and walking a little behind them. When they reach the library, Mc takes a shaky breath before leading Belphie into the library behind them. Mc turns on the library light to see..... A cat with a chip bag on its head, the cat is running around the library in a panic, everytime it runs the bag ruffles making the sound Mc had been hearing. Belphie laughs when he sees what's been making the sound that was scarying Mc. Mc rushea over and helps the cat get the bag off its head, once the cat is free it darts out of the library, presumably headed towards Satan's room.

Belphie continues to laugh at Mc until he recieves a teasing 'shut up' smack from Mc. Belphie continues to tease Mc as they turn off the library light and head for their room. Belphie sticks close behind them no matter their pace, like a puppy following their owner, the only difference is Belphie is a teasing brat. Mc and Belphie eventually make it to Mc's room, Belphie immediately crawls into Mc's bed making himself at home. Mc watches Belphie close his eyes and assumes he fell asleep already. Mc wasnt ready for bed yet, so they walk quietly around their room doing their nightly routine. It wasn't until Mc heard a tired grumpy voice that they realized Belphie wasnt asleep- "Can you hurry up already, I deserve to cuddle and sleep, since you decided to beat me up" the teasing tone in Belphie's voice makes Mc know that he's smirking, even though his face is burried under their blankets. Mc rolls their eyes and shushes him, once Mc is done getting ready for bed, they crawl into their bed and cuddle up to Belphie. They kiss his forehead muttering a quiet apology again for accidently hitting him earlier, Belphie's arms wrap around Mc's body and he snuggles against their chest. The sloth demon falls asleep rather quickly, but not until Mc started petting his hair. Mc eventually falls asleep as well, how could they not fall asleep when they were so warm and safely cuddled up with Belphie?

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

Thats all for now babes! Hope you enjoyed!! ♡ This is not proofread. Feel free to comment or reblog any thoughts or any add ons you have! Sorry this part took so long! More content is coming soon so Stay tuned! Stay Safe! & Stay Sassy Loves! ‹𝟹

━☆*:･ﾟ✧✧ ♡ ❀ ♡ ✧━

⟡˙⋆Masterlist⋆˙⟡

[anarglitch]

Scott pilgrim takes off inhabits the same artistic space as the matrix 4, or even the final fantasy 7 remake. I mean this as a good thing. It has the distinct touch of an artist that made something that defined a generation revisiting the art that outgrew them a thousandfold with more maturity and different interests.

These interests usually skew meta, they're about what drives someone to revisit something made by a past version of oneself, about the experience of suddenly gaining more influence than anyone could reconcile, where criticisms of your work (which you also, no doubt, have many) become synonymous with criticisms of your culture. If you've been here a while, you probably know (and are tired of) what I'm talking about, manic pixie dream girls and aloof average male protagonists, toxic nostalgia, pick your theme and it's a video essay title.

Imagine having every read of your 2004 funny video game-coded coming of age comic reverberate infinitely toward every direction, people saying your main character taught a whole generation of men to be self-absorbed while the exact opposite type of people rant about how your secondary lead "ruined a whole generation of women" because of hair-dye or whatever. Imagine Edgar Wright makes a movie adaptation of your cute little comic that somehow launches the careers of half of the current celebrity pantheon simultaneously. How would that change you?

Well, for one, it makes you less relatable. The truth of an aloof nerdy guy dating in his early 20s is a lot more universal than the truth of an artist in his 40s forever defined by the event horizon of a thing he wrote half his life ago. The matrix 4 couldn't stop talking about how it feels to have created the matrix. The final fantasy 7 remake can't help but to constantly examine what it means to remake final fantasy 7. It's easy to see why someone would hate that indulgent meta trend, I'll probably never write a generation-defining story, why would I care about the first world problems of someone who did? It can feel distant, and at its worst it can feel insulting. Like it's pointing the finger at the fans, whispering 'you did this to me'. I get that.

I get that, but I love it.

It's the fundamental difference between wanting something that is like something you liked, and wanting someone that is from the same creator of something you liked. The difference between feeding the mona lisa into an AI and finding a new authentic da Vinci. You can't make something entirely new if you religiously stick to using the parts of something that's already there. The human behind the work will always have influences you didn't realize, thought patterns and aesthetic preferences that weren't entirely clear in their previous work, no matter how much you deconstruct it. More importantly, the human will also change, and this organic self-continuity will reflect on the art. I don't want the creator of something to hold their own creation with the same zeal as its fans, because someone who did that simply wouldn't have been capable of creating the original piece in the first place.

I don't want a product, I want art.

Scott pilgrim, the original, indulges the most earnest impulse we have-- that of self-mythologizing, of creating a narrative off of our own lives. To depict the mundane as fantastic, interpersonal relationships as adventures. It resonated with so many people because it was earnest, and it was also picked apart to hell and back because it was earnest. Its flaws were on display, and not just the ones it intended to show. But in my opinion, the opposite impulse, that of washing off everything that could be criticized and presenting the cleanest possible image of yourself through your art, is just... bad. it makes for bad art, or it just freezes you. The very first hurdle of creating anything is getting over that, then maybe the spotlight will fall on you. If it does, you'll get everything you ever wanted, but everyone gets to see through you.

So, how do you revisit something like that? You have two options. Either you take all the pieces and try to reassemble them exactly how everyone remembers it, signing your name as a formality, looking at a mirror in which you no longer see yourself, or you talk to it. You dialogue with your own work, with who you used to be. You travel in time and talk to yourself. You question them, acknowledge them but also teach them a thing or two. You don't respect the product, you respect the feeling. You find the same earnestness that made you put pen to paper for the first time, and you point it towards your new loves and fears. Maybe you make it less about the main guy, take the chance to develop your secondary characters, maybe you give the girl more agency. Maybe you summon the future and refuse its answers. Maybe you fight yourself.

That's the harder choice. It submits your new self to the scrutinizing eyes of a whole new generation, it risks alienating the people who identified with your previous piece. It's riskier, probably less profitable, and by any pragmatic lens probably a bad idea. But it's the only way you can make art. It's truth, the truth that got you there in the first place.

It's how you get it together.

[catboybiologist]

Are you comfortable with questions about your journey to HRT?

Like, mentally how you took the leap of faith from femboy to needing something more / different. Asking for, uh, *a friend*, yeah 👀

Holy shit, this got long. This springboarded me into a massive writing about how my life influenced my personal gender philosophy, and is probably more than you bargained for. But I hope it's helpful in some way! I actually had a similar conversation recently with an NB, not on HRT friend of mine. What's the jump that makes you want to do HRT?

I don't think my experience parallels that of a lot of people's - everyone's is unique. But I do think there are good takeaways from my thoughts on this. Now that I have an Adderall prescription and my quarter is about to end, I've started writing some kind of more cited and developed essay or video essay, but that's random future stuff. This post itself is gonna be a little rambling, and a little personal. Sorry!

Vaguely, I think that the *push* to start HRT was a distinct force from tearing down the internal barriers associated with HRT, if that makes any sense. For many people, I think they have some sense of a mild preference of the gender they would "want" to be, but it doesn't bother them enough to actually break down the barriers to transition. For me, breaking those barriers, both internal and external, was as important as the motivations to transition themselves.

One of the major barriers in people's heads, often without them realizing it, is some kind of inherent belief in the "sanctity" of their body. For many people, "permanent changes" are terrifying, "unnatural", and even if they don't have medical risks, intrinsically *feel* like a medical risk they're taking on some level. It's an offshoot of purity culture in a weird way- it's the same root as a fear of psychiatric medicine making you "not you". Much of this is intrinsically religious, but a lot is actually not. I had a little bit of this growing up. Being raised atheist certainly helped in this regard, even though it was still a queerphobic slavic atheism.

The tiny bit of this I did have was sanctity of my mind, which internally, I still viewed as a separate entity from my body. This was 100% incited by crushing academic pressure, which influenced how I think and my own morality in a lot of unexpected ways. I grew up in a kind of infamously high pressure education area. It sounds unrelated, but it's really not. My mind, academics, and thinking kind of got put on a pedestal on my mind. My personal image of myself was basically a detached orb of thoughts and public speaking. I had 0 connection to my body. But since my mind was everything, both psychiatric medication and HRT were these vile things that could alter how I think and my mood! Gasp!

The final, crushing blow to both of these mentalities was studying biology. And WOW there's so much I could say about how studying biology has influenced how I think about this idea, which I want to talk about a lot more outside of the scope of just a tumblr post. But to summarize- it's not even about finding a biological "reason" for transness. It's about how I saw a living thing as a detailed, dynamic, intricate, constantly changing system that is as much a function of its environment as it is any intrinsic factors. And this includes the mind. So since I'm a shambling mass of chemicals anyways..... Why not be a shambling mass of slightly different chemicals?

The "detached orb" image isn't entirely accurate, though. Because, from an early age, I did have a self image that made me happy. And it was a female one. I shoved this deeply out of my mind in shame, leaving behind the "orb". This was my "push", as I called it before. In addition to a weird separation between my mind and my body, an additional factor contributed to my detachment- a growing distress around developing male traits during puberty, which coincided in the worst ways with academic pressure during teen and preteen years. Looking back, I now recognize this as dysphoria. I don't think my dysphoria was ever as extreme as many other people. But this is why I'm emphasizing taking down barriers as much as the weight of dysphoria itself. It has always been easy to distract from my dysphoria, but it's always been my "resting state" without realizing it.

Linked a bit to the second point is also how I felt shame about exploring any aspect of my life other than academic and professional achievement. Being raised in a high pressure environment means that any exploration of my queer identity felt like a distraction from the "real" things I should be focusing on. The final thing that tore this down, which I don't recommend for ANYONE, was an almost traumatic set of events during the pandemic/my masters degree that made me have a wake up call. I wasn't structuring anything in my life for my own happiness. Going through that made me realize I was going to continue being miserable unless I changed that. So... I started taking the idea of transitioning to actually work on my happiness very seriously.

Being a femboy was actually how I tried to reconcile these things in my head. It was my attempt to "compartmentalize"- allow myself to gently indulge in gender nonconformity and the happiness associated with it, while still not making the "commitment" to fully transition. It helps that most of my existence as a femboy was crossdressing during the height of the pandemic- spending hours on analysis and writing while living alone during my MS, wearing femme outfits while I did it. And of course, taking pics to kick off this whole online persona. I also kind of liked the idea of cis gender nonconformity as a concept, and still do. I love how femboys fuck with gender, and I wanted a slice of that for myself. It wasn't enough long term, and my new commitment to happiness overcame my desire to compartmentalize.

The final barriers were practical. By the end of my masters in 2022, I knew I wanted to transition, I just needed to get my social and financial shit together. Cue moving to my PhD university, becoming active in the queer community here, having an accepting professional environment... and yeah. Here I am. Still gotta socially transition outside of my queer circles, but now, I even have a plan for that. I still got a long way to go, but for the first time, I feel like I'm going in the right direction. And I'm very, very happy.

A lot of this is not applicable to everyone. It's mostly my personal experience. But if there is one thing that I think should apply to everyone here, it's this: kill bioessentialism in your mind. Kill the concept of complete sanctity of your mind and body. Break the barriers and then let yourself move freely across the new landscape you've opened up. At the very least, you'll come out with a more healthy relationship with your cis identity. And at best, you'll find a new part of you that needed to be found.

The other thing I think is broadly applicable is this: when initially figuring things out, stop thinking about what you "are", and start thinking about what you want. Would it make you happy to grow breasts, curves, have a femme face, estrogen regulated emotions, and other transfemme HRT changes? Because those are the actual, physical effects of HRT. If the answer is yes, start it. There's no reason not to. Your identity can come later. You deserve to be happy *for the explicit purpose of being happy*. You don't need to validate that desire through some other random factor.

This got WAAAYYYY too long, but if you have any questions, please, please ask!!!!

[bonefall]

This is kinda a funny comment but @ Brambleclaw telling Hollypaw how smart she is, i remember reading an article about how corporate spies (YES THIS IS RELATED) got information. The article was mostly one person's retelling about how it was entirely though phone calls where they just ask for information, and whenever the person on the other side started questioning them for why they needed the information, they were told to switch to praising the person on the other side for sticking to the rules and 'authenticating/checking' everything. That they'd 'put in a good word for how dedicated they were', basically buttering them up and making them feel good about catching what they were doing specifically to nudge them away from actually catching on.

I find it WILDLY interesting how the Erins just ACCIDENTALLY put actual manipulation tactics in their books when trying to make a male figure seem like a good person, almost like they're writing from experience in some kind of elaborate essay to themselves about how that behavior is okay and justifiable. They write in another character, Crowfeather, who abuses in a different, more noticable way just to compare and go "At least it's not this bad!" (the scene where Crowfeather chews out Breezepaw and one of them goes 'id rather Brambleclaw any day of the week!'), and then have Ashfur butter up Brambleclaw so that him excusing Ashfur's abuse can be claimed as Ashfur manipulating him.

ANYWAYS a question so you can properly add to the ask: How DOES the Ashfur buttering up Brambleclaw thing go down? Does Ashfur even NEED to butter him up? I think it'd be a little interesting if Hollypaw telling Brambleclaw was the first time he's actually heard of it happening, but he either confronts Ashfur and THEN gets buttered up, or he heards, thinks about it, and goes "nah its good actually I'd do the same".

There's actually a name for the tactic Ashfur uses that you saw in that spy article. It's called Ingratiation.

It's the act of making someone have a higher opinion of you, therefore putting more trust in you, by simply getting them to like you. Flattery, posing yourself as an in-group, and even using humor can all be part of ingratiation.

Now-- Ingratiation isn't ALWAYS nefarious. It's normal to try and make a good impression, or want to be liked by a possible friend or coworker. We try to influence other people all the time, we're social animals. It's just good to know that it CAN be used maliciously.

So I'm not too surprised to see a manipulation tactic in the book. I was using "buttering up" exactly because most people know WHAT it is, and that it IS a way to get people to do stuff, but don't connect that to its academic name. Like you said though what's so BIZARRE about it is how they really DO sometimes seem to be writing this looooong essay to themselves about how that was all Fine, Actually.

ESPECIALLY the way Bramble and Crow were contrasted in the Dog Scolding Scene. I left most of Bramble out because I was trying to focus on proving that Breeze was abused, but Nonny... the way the Three get chewed the fuck out by Bramble, as he insults them, assures Crow he won't be stopping for their exhausted sakes, and doesn't indicate that his anger is coming from concern...

It massively reminded me of when one neglected kid sees another kid get abused too. "Oh, well, what I'm going through isn't so bad, because it's not like THAT."

THEYRE SO CLOSE. ALL THE TIME. Like an INCH away from the point and it's AGONIZING.

Anyway... in BB, Bramble's enabling of Lionpaw's abuse is a WATERSHED moment for a bunch of the character arcs, especially Hollypaw.

I plan to keep it very similar to canon actually, I think it's stainless steel the way it is.

Ashfur KNOWS what he is doing.

He wasn't rolling for a save. It was calculated. Brambleclaw is someone who could have stopped his abuse, so he sought him out.

Can you see how inescapable that makes it, for Holly and Lion?

Holly finally worked up the courage to say something and stand up for her brother, only for her father to coo like she's a kitten who doesn't understand the world.

Even Lionpaw's father believes it's good and right to BLEED for your Clan. That this is normal... that this is even what love can look like.

BB!Lionblaze is the adopted father of his bio-nespring, Ivypool and Dovewing. What he internalizes here as a child is going to hurt BOTH of his daughters down the road, as he shoves them into the Dark Forest and a Prophecy, respectively.

Even after Brambleclaw disowns him and Lionblaze rejects him in response, adamantly saying he has ONLY a mother, he won't reject this lesson until it's TOO LATE.

And Hollypaw is so damaged by this scene that it's going to be the first domino towards her murderous break in Cruel Season.

"I need you to keep your brothers in line, Hollypaw" is soup stock, and then add obsession with the Code, constant betrayal from the relationships she forges in other Clans, her near-murder at the claws of Ashfur when he finds out the Power of Three + Fire and Tiger prophecies, and the murder of her mentor and grandfather.

And then she finds out her HalfClan brother, a Cleric, angel-punching blasphemous wretch he is, has gotten Poppyfrost pregnant. Just like Leafpool before him.

What else IS "keeping them in line" supposed to be, when he's gone this far? He's had enough chances. She will do what she's meant for. Jayfeather must DIE.

Bramblestar himself is notorious in BB for being incredibly controversial as a leader, taking power in Cruel Season just after Firestar is killed by the Dark Forest assassins.

This is part of his personality. He is easily blinded by his own feelings, and it makes him a good target for manipulation.

His first deputy, Thornclaw, exploits many of the same weaknesses Ashfur did. All part of the Dark Forest's plan.

And even Ashfur. Up in StarClan, he continues to plot, eventually leading to the events of TBC and his time as the Impostor.