#could you imagine having a baby or being badly sick and someone comes in threatening your life/family cuz they didnt want to be safe/clean

[sparklypunk]

Maybe a hot take but.... Masks should stay in effect indefinitely for at least healthcare

[daddyy333]

Family | Eddie Munson x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

TW: ABUSE, ABUSIVE PARTNER, PREGNANCY, UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF UNWANTED PREGNANCY/BABY, ABORTION, MORNING SICKNESS, HINTS AT EATING DISORDER (?) CAR CRASH, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Word count: 7.2k

summary: Eddie and the group take care of you as you come out of your abusive relationship and then find out you have a baby on the way

y’all I am sincerely sorry for how long this got and how long it took to write and the fact that this is only a part one but uhm yea this took a week to write so I’ll see you in a momth for part 2 💀

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

“Ed-Eddie- Eddie please, I-I need you- he’s gonna k-kill me! God damn it- pick up yo- y-your phone- ahh! No, n-no please-” you whisper-screamed into the phone, until your boyfriend found you in your hiding spot in the linen closet. He snatched you up, throwing the phone across the room and then, throwing you.

“You dumb, stupid whore!” He screamed, kicking you so hard you felt your ribs breaking. You cried and cried, having no choice but to take the beating because of course you’re dating an abusive 6’4 grizzly bear for a boyfriend.

You had been dating (for all intents and purposes) for the last 3 years and it had been the worst 3 years of your life. It was okay for a few months but by the time you were 6 months into the relationship you had been forced to cut everyone off and you were buying more and more makeup than you knew what to do with to try and cover the bruises.

You had to cut everyone off, including Eddie. Especially Eddie. Adam, your “boyfriend”, hated how close you were with Eddie. He didn’t like how happy Eddie made you in comparison to him so he beat you till you could barely move your fingers enough to type out the text telling him you didn’t want to be in his life anymore.

You cried non stop for months, Eddie never knew about the abuse but he was just such a good person and was always te for you and always loved you and protected you when he could and you never ever imagined a life without Eddie in it. But when Adam started threatening to kill the people in your life, you had to cut them off to keep them safe.

And even here, lying in a puddle of your own blood, wheezing, barely able to hear, or see, you stand by the decision. Even on death's doorstep, you would’ve gone through it all a thousand times to protect him and everyone else in your life.

Eddie went over the speed limits 20 miles to get to you, falling to his knees and sobbing once he found you. He was sure you were gone. You weren’t breathing, he couldn’t find a pulse, and your lips were blue and your skin was getting paler all ready. He called 911 anyway. He had to try.

He didn’t know how, or why, but you made it. You woke up a few hours later, you told the cops everything and talked to Eddie for quite some time. You two hadn’t seen each ot in years, and came to find out this was the reason why. Believe me, Eddie was pissed he didn’t try harder to figure out why you weren’t talking to him anymore.

You didn’t say much after that night, and 3 weeks later you were okay enough to live out of your car, so you did. You left Eddie again, not wanting to be a burden to him any longer and started living in your car. You went back to work at the mall, making just enough to survive since you were working as a manager at one of the high end stores.

Yea, life sucked but it was okay for the time being whilst you healed the physical and mental wounds Adam left you with and got your life back. That was until, you were throwing up 1,000 times a day and couldn’t breathe without smelling something that made you nauseous. Not to mention, your boobs hurt badly and were getting swollen like you were about to be on your period, which was super late.

Between the stress of recovering and the relief of no longer being with Adam anymore you didn’t realize you were late on your period. You were scared shitless, this was not the time to be having a baby, especially one with your abusive ex-boyfriend as the father. You felt so stupid, so reckless.

Of course, all the tests you took came back positive. You cried for hours, called in sick at work and it got to the point we you were genuinely contemplating suicide. You knew you couldn’t afford the appointments and the clothes and the diapers, much less the actual baby and you didn’t even have a home. You’d probably end up giving birth in your car, it’d be a disaster and you couldn’t fathom letting an innocent little baby being born into that kind of shitty life.

You did as much research as you could, and you realized you would never be able to afford an abortion. You didn’t have insurance, so it would take forever to save the money and it was a lot more complicated and expensive the farther you got into the pregnancy. You had no choice but to have the baby, probably in your backseat, and probably leave it at a police station to hopefully go to a better family.

You cried nonstop the entire day, you felt like shit, and then you tried to eat and threw it up before you finished the meal and you genuinely felt like you hit rock bottom. You never imagined you’d be finding you were pregnant whilst living in your car barely 2 months after getting out of an abusive relationship that was so bad it almost got you killed at 22.

You thought you’d be in college right now, getting a journalism degree, sending and receiving letters from Eddie all the time, living the dream you’ve had since you were 15. Not this. Certainly not this.

Pregnancy really kicked your ass. You lost more weight than you could fathom, constantly skipping meals because every time you did eat it ended up in the toilet. You couldn’t afford new bras for a while and oh my god did that hurt like hell. You grew fast, it kinda scared you because eit you were farther along than you thought or this baby was gonna be pretty big compared to your small hips, which meant that giving birth was gonna tear you in half.

You were uncomfortable all the time, between the nausea, the sore boobs trapped in tight bras, your clothes being too small, your constant hunger yet persistent morning sickness, and your highly sensitive and emotional state, and your constant inability to sleep you were a complete wreck.

You were also starting to feel all the pain the pregnancy books mentioned, like the sore and uncomfortable feeling in your back, pressure in your hips and pelvis and the sore feeling in your stomach from the muscles getting torn apart for your stomach to grow. Your feet weren’t achy yet, which you were thankful for considering you were on your feet a lot at work.

However, about a month or so after you found out you were pregnant, you lost your job because the boss was sick of you always throwing up and being tired and always coming late and constantly asking if te was any way you could make some extra money or earn a raise.

You were actually kind of happy that day, you had scarfed down a breakfast burrito and didn’t throw it up, and you’d gotten a good amount of sleep last night.

You got through your day, no rude customers or anything, it was one of the best days you had in a while. That was until you were stopped by your boss on your way out. “Listen, uhm, I’m gonna have to let you go, y/l/n. I know you’re pregnant and everything, but you’re…a lot, okay? I’ve found someone better for the job so, uh, you’re fired” he said and you scoffed, tears filling your eyes.

You nodded and said “okay…uhm that's just- that’s awesome. It’s not like I need to eat to keep my baby alive or try to pay for an appointment to see if my child is healthy or anything like that. Fuck you, have a terrible rest of your day” You sniffled and threw your badge in his face and got out of te as fast as you could.

It’s 10pm, you worked the night shift for that asshole and all you wanted was to fucking punch him in his stupid face. You got to your car and just let it all out. You hadn’t cried once since the day you found out you were pregnant, after that you stopped letting yourself cry because it wasn’t worth your time and wouldn’t get you anywe but you couldn’t help it now. It was hard to suppress your emotions for so long, especially with all the hormones which made you wanna do nothing but cry most of the time.

If you hadn’t hit rock bottom before, you certainly had now. No job, no house, soon enough no car, and a baby on the way. You sobbed and sobbed, you couldn’t fucking believe this was happening. You should’ve known not to let yourself actually believe things were getting better. “Nothings ever actually going to get better, idiot” you thought.

You had nowhere else to go, the only person who might let you stay with them was Eddie, but you were sure after what you pulled a couple weeks ago he wouldn’t. Yet you still managed to get here, on his doorstep, a blubbering mess of tears and sobs.

“Y/n? O-Oh my god- what’s wrong, are you okay?” He asked and you sniffled. It was raining now so you were soaking wet, shivering a little. You shook your head and said “no- n-no, nothing i-is okay, I-I…I n-need somewhere to- to stay p-please” “of course, yea, come in quick…come in…it’s okay, breathe, relax. You’re okay, I got you” he said and you whimpered, trying to get to his bathroom.

“Alright, alright relax, try to breathe for me. I’m gonna grab you some clean clothes and you go ahead and take a shower, I already took a shower and Uncle Wayne is still out working for a while so use up as much hot water as you need” he said and you nodded. He wiped your tears away, not without you initially flinching first, and said “try to calm down for me, okay. I’ll make you dinner, what do you want?”

“W-Whatever you h-have is fine” you said and he sighed. He kissed your head and said “okay, the water is nice and warm. Hurry and get in, I don’t want you to get sick” You nodded and closed the door, letting out a shaky breath. You got your clothes off, finally being able to breathe without the bra squeezing your chest and your pants squeezing your bump.

You didn’t take too long in the shower, you just rinsed off and warmed up some and found what appeared to be one of his tight fitting shirt on the toilet seat, which worried you because he didn’t exactly know you were pregnant yet, the shirt you were wearing before was a little more your size but still hid your bump enough that it wasn’t obvious. He also left you a pair of shorts and he must’ve ran to the store really quickly cause he left a pack of panties too.

“Hey, hi, are you feeling better? I ordered pizza it’ll…be- be here soon…” he said, his eyes glued to your bump. He blinked a few times and smiled at you, offering a glass of water. You took it carefully and quietly said “just ask, Eddie…”

“Y-You’re pregnant? Like for real?” He said and you sniffled. You nodded and he said “how many months?” “I-I have no idea…I can’t afford an appointment and I don’t know how to figure it out for myself. My best guess is probably 4 months or so” you said and sat down at the tiny little “dining table” that was more for decoration than practical use.

He nodded and said “is uhm…is it…his?” “Yea…yea it is” you said and sighed shakily, looking down at the floor. You felt like a failure, Eddie was probably figuring out how to get you out of e as soon as possible.

“I uhm…got fired. And I’m living in my car, which I won’t have for much longer if I don’t start making money again to pay it off. I’m trying to save for an appointment but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to hold onto that money for much longer. I didn’t want to come e and bot you with this and be anot thing on your overly full plate but I just…I don’t have anywe else to go,” you said and tears filled your eyes again, your lip trembling.

He bent down in front of you, cupping your cheeks and wiping the tears away. He took a few deep breaths with you and said “it’s okay, y/n. I’ll always welcome you with open arms no matter what. God, every day since you left I’ve been waiting to see you again, to make sure you’re okay. You can stay here as long as you need to, I’ll take care of you. I promise. You’re not a burden or a bot or whatever the hell, you’re family, y/n. Family takes care of each other”

You looked away, trying not to burst into sobs but it didn’t help. “Hey, hey it’s okay…can I hold you?” He asked and you sniffled, nodding. Eddie quickly pulled you up so you were standing and wrapped his arms around you, letting you bury your head into his chest. You cried and cried and cried, you just kept remembering all the things Adam did to you and how much you’ve been going through and all the suppressed feelings were coming up with a vengeance.

He held you tight, kissing your head and rubbing your back. “E-Eddie…” you whimpered, struggling to breathe a little. He shushed you softly, he wanted you to just let everything out and relax a bit. “It’s okay, y/n. I’m here, I got you. Let everything out, relax. We’ll stand here as long as we need to” he said and you sniffled, nuzzling into his chest and fully wrapping your arms around him now.

You hadn’t been hugged like this in years, literal years. Hell, you really hadn’t been hugged much at all, Adam made sure he was the only person in your life and that you had no one else to be with or run to except for him.

“You’re okay, y/n…I got you” he whispered soothingly, resting his chin on your head. You let out a shaky breath, whimpering softly. Someone knocked on the door and you pulled away slightly, looking up at Eddie.

“I’ll get it, why don’t you get comfy on the couch?” He said and you nodded, smiling a little. You curled up on the couch, taking a deep breath as you watched Eddie bring two plates over as well as the box of pizza. He left and came back again with two beers and you chuckled softly.

He stuck his hand out with a beer in it towards you and when you shook your head, making him confused. “What, you don’t drink anymore?” He asked and you looked down at your bump, then back at Eddie. He gasped and said “crap- I’m sorry. You can’t drink while you’re pregnant?” “Nope…” you said and he shook his head.

“And that’s why I thank god everyday that I am not a woman” he said, bring you a bottle of water instead. You chuckled and he gave you a slice of pizza, and pulled out one of your favorite movies to watch toget. (I can’t think of a movie Eddie would be into from the 80’s)

You slowly ate the slice, not wanting to get nauseous but also not wanting Eddie to know how little you eat, he would definitely lose his shit if he knew how bad things were. He handed you a second slice and you shook your head, already feeling like crap from trying to focus on not getting nauseous.

“Come on, you’re eating for two, eat another slice,” he said and you hesitantly took it, getting more nervous by the second. You tried to focus on the T.V but after two bites you couldn’t handle it and ran to the bathroom to throw everything up.

Eddie followed you, holding your hair and rubbing your back. “This is uhm…this normal, I think. Pregnant people they…they throw up a lot cause…cause they’re pregnant” he said, trying to figure out how to be comforting.

You groaned and said “ye- fuck- yes, that’s what- shit-” you just kept on throwing up, not able to get a single sentence out. He cringed slightly, but you didn’t see it and he wouldn’t have done it if you could, but it was a little gross.

You sat back, wiping your mouth and flushing the toilet with your foot. He chuckled and handed you a little wad of toilet paper. You whimpered softly, placing a hand on your achy stomach. “What- what, do you have to throw up more?” He asked and you shook your head.

You sniffled and said “no, no I’m fine…I-I just…ugh I feel like shit now” You started tearing up, damn these fucking pregnancy hormones. You took a deep breath and said “do you have any extra toothbrushes laying around? Actually nevermind, I have one in my car”

“I’ll get it, I’ll be right back” he said and stood up, and sped off quickly. You closed your eyes, letting out a quiet sob. This was not supposed to fucking happen. You had stopped trying to get away from Adam because you knew deep down that unless he killed you there was no getting away from him so there was nothing left to do other than give up.

That was until, you saw a corroded coffin poster and had to go, you had to at least get a glance at Eddie for the first time in years. You did and Adam decided to come home early which meant he found out and that was the night he got arrested. You hadn't told Eddie that, and you didn’t plan on it because you knew it would break him.

“here,” he said and handed you a toothbrush. You brushed your teeth and he left you alone again, and sat down in the living room. He felt so bad for you, he wanted to hold you forever and just keep whispering that it was gonna be okay until it was. He put the pizza away, at some point in highschool or throughout his life he’d also heard that smells make a pregnant person nauseous as well.

You came back, your face all red and slightly puffy again as you curled into the corner of the couch. “Do you uhm…do you have to eat again….or uhm, w-what-” he said and you sighed. You ran your hands through your hair and said “I’m fine, I don’t want to eat again, I just uhm…I’ll be fine, thanks”

“Ok…” he said and sat next to you again, continuing the movie. You knew he wanted to ask about we you’ve been, if you’re keeping it, he probably had a million questions to ask you.

“We can uhm…we can talk about it now if you want to” you said and he nodded. He played with his hands nervously and said “where uhm…where have you been?” “I was living in my car…it’s not the safest or the most comfortable but I need to spend as little money as I can” you said and he nodded, a little sad knowing you were living in your car this whole time when he would’ve gladly let you stay with him for the rest of your life.

You sighed shakily, trying to stay relaxed and calm. “Is the baby healthy?” He asked and you shrugged. You chuckled and said “I have no clue, I can’t afford an appointment, remember” He nodded, giving a sad smile knowing you were struggling so much.

You sniffled and said “I…uhm I’m gonna have to give the baby away. I’ll probably leave at a police station or something, but I’ll never be able to take care of them the way they deserves” “You have to give it up, or you want to? You can tell me if you don’t want it. But if you do, I want you to know that we will make this work. You’ve always wanted to be a mom, y/n, ever since we were kids you’ve always been eager to take care of your baby cousins and the neighbors kids. Being a mom is something you undoubtedly were made to do. I know these circumstances aren’t ideal and you’re allowed to not be ready and to not wanna have this baby. But do you?” He asked and you sniffled.

You wiped a stray tear away and said “I-I have to…” “y/n….” He said and a few tears rolled down your face. He scooted closer and grabbed one of your hands. He held it tight as he said “do you want to have the baby you are carrying right now? I’m not gonna judge you for what you choose, and I’ll support you and take care of you either way”

There was a few moments of silence, your sniffles and whimpers the only sounds in the room along with the faint noises of the movie you were supposed to be watching. You looked up at him again and nodded as you said “I-I want to keep it s-so bad…I- I-I do…but I just- I can’t afford it, esp-especially since I’m fucking jobless now. And this- this baby- I can’t force them into a life as shitty as this, they’re better off w-with someone e-else”

Your tears had increased now that you were really saying it out loud and Eddie’s heart broke. “Hey, hey don’t say that. You and I - we can do this. You can live here for the rest of your life if need be and I will help you raise your baby and I will be here for you in every way I can and I will be the very best fucking uncle on the planet” he said, making you laugh slightly.

You sniffled and said “do you-…d-do you really th-think this could work? I mean- I-I-” “hey, if it’s what you want we'll make it work, okay? I want you to be happy, I want you to be the mom you’ve always wanted to be” he said and you nodded weakly.

You closed your eyes, trying to stop more tears from coming as you said “I am…I-I’m gonna keep this baby. O-Oh god,” He smiled and you chuckled softly, him giving a soft, reassuring squeeze to your hand.

You yawned and he said “you tired? Come on, I’ll get you nice and comfy in the bed and I’ll take the couch” “what? No, Ed’s this is your house” you said and he sighed. He stood up and said “it’s your house too, it always has been whether you needed it or not. And, you’re pregnant so if anyone deserves the bed it’s you, you’re sleeping for two now so you need to be as comfy as possible”

You just chuckled quietly to yourself, following Eddie into his room. He made the bed for you, putting on fresh sheets so you wouldn’t have to sleep on spilled beer and hot sauce all over the mattress. “Thank you, Eddie. For putting up with all this. I know I can…be a lot sometimes but you’ve always dealt with it, I couldn’t ask for a better bestfriend” you said and he smiled.

He turned on a fan and said “you’re not too much, y/n. I love taking care of you, I love seeing that pretty smile, it’s really not a problem” You gave him a soft smile, god you’d smiled more in the last hour and a half than you did in the last 3 years prior.

Yea, pregnancy still sucked after that. You found another job within two weeks and it paid decent considering you were now a waitress. Eddie had noticed your shrinking frame, besides the bump of course and hadn’t said anything yet, becuase he knew you couldn’t do anything about the morning sickness (morning sickness is a lie by the fucking way, and if you don’t think so tell that to y/n who woke up at 2am last night and damn near threw up all over the floor for no reason at all)

Anyways, you were supposed to meet the friend group today, after staying at Eddie’s for 3 weeks he’d had enough and insisted you had to, and you were really nervous. You kept feeling butterflies in your stomach, and they felt weirder than normal. Eddie had been so supportive, he’d bought every pregnancy book in sight and was helping you save for an appointment.

He would drive you to and from work, massage your feet for you after a long day and even try to help relieve any pressure in your back if you’d let him. He knew based off what he read that some women struggle to breathe as it is while being pregnant so when he realized that you were also squeezing your chest into a small bra he was adamant about getting you as many as he could afford so you weren’t uncomfortable.

He’d been dealing a lot, using it to go towards the appointment and buying you clothes, and stretch mark creams, and he’d even bought a few little onesies he saw that were too cute to leave behind. He loved every minute of it, he loved seeing you smile more and more everyday, because it meant you were getting better.

But still, you were still crazy nervous about meeting his friends. He talked about them all the time, and they sounded like good people but you hadn’t had good social interaction in a very long time. You two got in the car and he noticed how fidgety and tense you were.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked and you shook your head. You sighed shakily and said “nothing it’s just…I-I’m nervous, that’s all” “don’t be…they’re gonna love you, and they’ll be excited they are getting a new member to the group again in a few months” he said and smiled at you, making you blush slightly.

He learned a lot more about what Adam had done to you as the weeks went on. A lot of late nights, and a lot of tears were shed to get there but those mini therapy sessions had you smiling more and more everyday. It was still pretty rare, but sometimes you’d forget about Adam and life felt like pure bliss for a moment.

You fell asleep on the way to the house so Eddie just carried you inside, making everyone relax because they still had some time to think about what they were gonna say and do. With your permission, Eddie had told them the basics of your situation and some of them nearly cried when they heard it. They just wanted to make you feel okay, make you feel comfortable.

“Don’t stare like that. No exotic animal staring, we talked about this” Eddie said as he tucked you in, kissing your bump and leaving you be. They all fidgeted nervously, eventually sitting back down wherever Eddie sat on the floor in front of you.

They fell into comfortable conversation, stopping whenever you made any small groan or movement. Eddie just chuckled at how careful they were, he knew you were fine, just uncomfortable because of the pregnancy and you’d fall right back to sleep in no time.

“Eddie…” you groaned, flipping over so you were on your back as your eyes fluttered open, your hands gently rubbing the sleep from them. He turned to look at you and said “hey, sleepy head. Are you okay?” “Yea, yea just…mmh” you said and stretched. You winced, scratching the itchy skin on your bump due to the skin stretching so much so fast.

“You’re on Steve’s couch by the way. You fell asleep in the car, and everyone’s getting pretty antsy and wants to talk to you” he said and your eyes shot open, you sat up so fast your heart practically stopped for a second as pain surged through your lower back.

“Ow- fuck! Eddie- god damn it why didn’t you wake me up?” You said and pulled Eddie’s your shirt down. You groaned, smoothing your hair down and Eddie chuckled. “H-Hi?” You said and they all waved or quietly said hi

It was the day after Christmas, so there were still tons of lights and a huge tree, and all kinds of Christmas decor. You looked down at your hands, picking at your nails nervously. “Guys…come on, say something” Eddie said, putting his hand on your lap so you could play with his rings and calm down.

Dustin took a deep breath and said “sleep well?” You nodded cautiously, feeling those butterflies again. They felt so weird and awfully strong, it was like there were real butterflies in your stomach.

“So like…there’s a real baby in there? Like, actually?” Robin asked and you chuckled. You looked down at your stomach and said “I hope so. I didn’t swallow a watermelon seed not to long ago so we’ll see” Eddie smiled, he was glad to see you weren’t stumbling over your words or anything, you seemed comfortable and relaxed.

You sighed and said “so uhm…w-what are your names?” They all said their names quietly, which made you wonder if they thought you were really fragile or something. “That’s…a lot” you said and Eddie stood up, sitting on the couch next to you.

“So like, you and Eddie?” Steve asked and Eddie rolled his eyes. He scoffed and said “god no, Steve. And you will not even try anything because if I find out I’m gonna kick your ass so hard you’re gonna be shitting your teeth out for a week. For fuck sake, she’s pregnant too, jsut cause she has a heartbeat doesn’t mean you have to date her”

You chuckled at the last part, but you’d be lying if you said that the way he said “god no, Steve” so fast didn’t hurt you. You’ve had a crush on him for years, and the hormones are probably making it stronger but you wished you were with Eddie everyday, and that when you gave birth in a few months you’d be holding Eddie’s left hand, both of your wedding rings shining as you brought your first kid into the world.

I mean, as of now you definitely weren’t ready for a relationship but they way he sounded so disgusted at the suggestion didn’t go unnoticed by you. “Ignore Steve, he’s a literal manwhore” Nancy said and you noticed Robin biting her lip as hard as she could trying not to laugh.

“Do you uh…know how to play D&D?” Dustin asked and Eddie shook his head. You shrugged and said “kinda? I’ve played games with Eddie over the years but I don’t know how I’d be now”

“Do you like Kate Bush?” Max asked and you nodded, you didn’t go out of your way to listen to her but you didn’t mind her music. They eventually started asking a million questions and soon enough Dustin and Steve went out to get everyone burgers and fries.

“So…Christmas just passed and uhm…you’re our new friend so we all got you some gifts” El said as her, Mike, and Will all carried them out. Your eyes widened and Eddie raised his eyebrows, he didn’t know about that.

You tried to tell them it was okay and you didn’t need anything, Eddie had to promise unlimited massages for the rest of the pregnancy just so he felt like he wasn’t doing something wrong by not giving you anything for Christmas.

Mike bought diapers, El bought a little onesies with Waffles all over it that had a matching pair of socks and a beanie, Will bought a little stuffed bear, Robin bought a bunch of cute little neutral outfits since you weren’t sure if it was a boy or a girl yet, Nancy and Jonathan bought a whole ass stroller which is when you started crying, Max bought a little music player that was supposed to help babies sleep, and when Dustin and Steve got back Dustin got it a pack of pacifiers that has little monsters all over it and Steve got it a few swaddles and blankets

“I…hate you guys,” you said, wiping your tears away as everyone laughed. Eddie chuckled, rubbing your back soothingly. You sniffled and said “at least it’s stuff for the baby and I’ll actually be able to use it” “yea, Eddie said you don’t really do gifts but we figured we could spoil the baby instead” Dustin said and you smiled.

You ate the best fucking burger of your life and they all asked more questions about the pregnancy, and also about you. You got up to get yourself more water, and noticed you still felt those butterflies from earlier.

“What’s wrong?” Eddie said as he came in and noticed you looking down at your bump like something was off. You looked up and said “nothing just…I’ve been feeling butterflies all day but I’m not really nervous any more, at least I can’t really tell if I am so I don’t know why it’s still happening”

“Butterflies? Are you sure they aren’t kicks?” He asked and you shook your head. You drank some of your water and said “no, no it can’t be. This is my first baby, I’ll probably feel them in a couple weeks, it’s a little early for me to be feeling kicks and stuff”

“That’s for most women. Maybe you’re special. Maybe your baby is kicking and you're an idiot” he said and you smacked his arm playfully. You chuckled and felt the butterflies again, making you start to wonder.

You lifted your shirt, pressed against your stomach and noticed a faint little twitch in your bump, as well as that butterfly feeling again. “Oh my god- wait, Eddie I think you’re right. Look, look,” you said and grabbed his hand, pressing it to your bump.

“Woah…that’s weird,” he said and you chuckled. You showed him how you could kinda see it too and he was like “dude, that baby is totally kicking…Jesus Christ we have got to get you to an appointment” “we actually can…I thought we had to pay a lot but we actually have more than enough for the appointment. Almost the amount for 2” you said and he smiled, he was really freaking excited, his kid or no.

The gang found out about the kicks, and they flipped out too, Dustin thought it was pretty cool and Steve thought it was pretty freaky that there was a real human in there. You totally crashed on the way home, Eddie was beaming at the fact that you did so good today and you weren’t super anxious for the most part, and you bonded so well with everyone.

He was so happy that you could finally go to an appointment, he literally called the doctors all by himself that night and got you an appointment for tomorrow. You were so happy when he told you, you felt so happy that you had that kind of person in your life who cared so much for you and you were especially glad that it was Eddie.

The next day, you ran a few blood tests and stuff, and after quite a while Eddie was waiting in the room with you for the ultrasound. “You think we can find out what it is?” He asked and you shrugged. He played with the ends of your hair as he said “what do you think it’s gonna be?”

“I feel like it might be a boy. I don’t really care though, I just want this baby to be healthy” you said and he nodded. Eventually when the doctor came in, you heard the heartbeat and literally burst into tears. Eddie couldn’t help his laughs, but he did struggle not to cry at the heartbeat. He was attached to this little baby too, he couldn’t wait to meet it.

“Ok…it looks like we’ve got a baby girl on the way. Look at those kicks, baby is very active at the moment” the doctor said and you sniffled. Eddie knew it was coming, you began to cry even more at the news that you were having a daughter.

Everything was pretty okay, but there were definitely some concerns which Eddie was gonna do his best to handle. The morning sickness was supposed to go away a while ago, and the doctors even believed that the reason you were losing more weight than you gained was because of the prolonged morning sickness. They prescribed some pills and medications that would hopefully help with it, and Eddie really, really hoped it would. The doctor told you not to worry too much, but he did want you to really make sure you try hard to improve it because it could be a problem in the future.

The baby was healthy, a little small but not too small to the point where it was putting her at risk. Eddie was just glad to know your little one was okay, he knew it would’ve been epically stressful for you if the doctor had given you really bad news.

Eventually you started really getting along with the group. You were closer to Steve and Robin, but the younger members were super fascinated by the kicks and the wriggles of your little girl so you spent plenty of time with them.

They’d even massage your feet for you when you asked, which you couldn’t help but take advantage of sometimes. Oh my god, and don’t get me started on how much they fed you. Ever since Eddie told them about how the doctor recommended you eat a little more, they’d been shoving food down your throat non stop. Every time you hung out with one of them, you ended up eating till you were absolutely stuffed.

One of your favorite moments was when you, Eddie, and Dustin were walking around getting baby clothes and stuff. You found a place selling burgers and stuff and had been complaining about how you were starving the whole way there. You then attempted to order a small combo and Dustin and Eddie threw a fit. You wanted the small combo cause it cost less but thing 1 and thing 2 weren’t having it and you absolutely had to get a large combo.

It took a while for you to be okay with asking them for the things you craved. You didn’t necessarily enjoy asking for food, period, so it was really big for them when you started asking for food of any kind.

They took care of you well, always making sure you were okay and the baby was okay. Every minor inconvenience caused by the pregnancy was taken care of, but you surely wouldn't dare to complain. “Hey, why are you awake?” Steve said and you groaned. You sighed and said “she’s kicking…a lot”

“Yea? You didn’t drink a whole lot of water before you went to bed did you?” He asked and you shook your head. “Have any caffeine today?” He asked. Again, no. “No, my kid is just a brat. I’m fine, Steve, really. Go back to bed” you said and he sighed.

Some of you had hung out and slept over at Steve’s house, and you knew you’d come to regret later considering this baby was super active at night. “No, you’re not fine. You should be sleeping. Is there anything I can do for you to help?” He asked and you shook your head.

You rubbed over the spot she was really kicking at and said “nope. Go back to bed, she’ll get tired eventually” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He chugged a glass of water and said “if you aren’t up in time for work tomorrow I’m calling you in sick. No if, and’s, or but’s” You shook your head, acting scared as if that was a crazy punishment that would ruin your life.

The baby really liked Eddie, so sometimes he was stuck to your side all day long to keep her from kicking your ass. “Eds? Oh, please, please get over here” you said and he quickly ran to the bedroom in the trailer.

You sighed and said “please, just talk. If she hears your voice maybe she’ll stop” “oh- uhm…Hi, you know me. I hope so. I’m uh…uncle Eddie. I’ve been putting on all those super cool metal songs through the headphones for you to listen to. S-Start em’ young, you know?” He said and you groaned, grabbing his hands.

You placed them on your stomach where she wouldn’t stop kicking and took a deep breath, really hoping that she would just stop. She always kicks so much and nonstop, it’s honestly crazy. “Please…please….” You whimpered, you were trying to do laundry before this but the baby had a problem with that.

“I-I’m sorry” he said and was about to move away but you stopped him. You gasped and said “no wait, don't go…oh my god, oh my god you’re my savior” He chuckled, moving so he was more comfortable. He sat behind you, still keeping his hands on your bump and pulling you a little closer so you would rest against him and he could hold you.

You’d been getting closer with Eddie, when you first came to him you were terrified to be too close to him, let alone touch him. But now, a little side hug here and there felt okay. You really trusted him with your whole heart, which was big for him because he wanted you to have someone like that after Adam and for it to be him made him so freaking happy.

“You’re stuck here for the rest of your life” you declared, putting a hand over one of his as you smiled, feeling no harsh kicks from your little she-devil. Eddie chuckled, kissing your head. “How long was she at it for?” He asked and you sighed.

“I don’t remember really, but her kicks have been getting stronger and stronger the farther I get into this pregnancy and she was just trying to knock the wind out of me while I was doing laundry” you said and he sighed softly. You started folding up laundry and he said “glad I could be of service to you” “damn straight” you said and giggled.

However, things took a bit of a turn at the end of your 6th month of pregnancy. You started feeling weaker, and the meds weren’t working as well, and you got really dizzy sometimes. You didn’t want to freak Eddie out, so you didn’t tell him and hoped this was just some kind of fluke and it would pass.

But it didn’t, not at all. She kicked so much too, which kept you up night after night and you were finding it hard to sleep even if she wasn’t kicking up a storm. And it really became a problem when you were on your way to work and you passed out while driving.

yasss cliffhanger😝 (sike I just didn’t know how to end this and I was like “I need to do a second part this shit is getting too long omfg)

Eventually I’ll be writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

So just dm me the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

taglist for this story: @and-claudia @localbxbby @silky-luxe @this-is-mycrisis

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑴𝒂𝒇𝒊𝒂! 𝑨𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒛: 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝑾𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑰𝒔 𝑰𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝑨𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒚

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

❅𝐾𝑖𝑚 𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑔𝑗𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑔

You huffed as you tried to zip up your dress but to no avail. It would not budge because of the baby bump that was growing. In one last attempt to zip it up, you actually ended up ripping the zipper, causing you to gasp in horror.

"Oh no." Your hand covered your mouth as you stared in shock at yourself in the mirror.

"Honey are you ready to go?" Hongjoong asked, as he came into the room.

Hongjoong noticed how you kept staring at your reflection in the mirror, immobile and not responding to him.

"Hey baby? What is it?" He came up behind you, his arms sliding down protectively around your stomach.

Unwillingly, you let out tears and started sobbing.

"I'm....fat." You whined as you wiped some tears off your face, effectively making some of your eye makeup smudge.

Hongjoong pouted and shook his head cutely at you.

"Baby no. You're not fat. You're carrying a baby, our baby. Our beautiful little bundle of joy that we created together and that I can't wait to bring into this world with you."

You smiled softly at his words. Placing a kiss to your cheek, he continued:

"You're absolutely beautiful love. And if I must admit, I think you look more lovely with the baby bump." He sent a wink to you through the mirror, causing you to burst out giggling.

"Tell you what? Let's skip the dinner date and just stay home and cuddle. Ok?"

❅𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎

Sitting on your bed, waiting for Seonghwa to come out of the bathroom, you kept replaying your mother in law's words in your head.

"I remember when I gave birth to Seonghwa. He came a little earlier than expected while his father was away on a business trip. So I had to go through the birth process all alone. You can imagine how scared I was."

Her story shook you to your core. Seonghwa often had to go away. What if the same thing happened to you? What if he misses the birth of your child? And you had to endure all of it alone?

You were so immersed in your worries, you failed to notice that Seonghwa was standing next to you and were woken up when his hand touched your shoulder.

"What is it my dear?" He asked, knowing something was troubling you.

"I don't want to go through this by myself..." You admitted, one of your hands going to your bump to get your point across.

Seonghwa understood what you were talking about, the way you kept quiet and became pensive when his mom told her story did not go unnoticed by him. Seonghwa kneeled in front of you. Taking your hands in his, he promised you:

"And you won't. I'm not going to leave you or our child alone during this time. My father missed my birth and it's something that he regrets to this day. I don't want to do the same. I want to be there for you and our baby. I'm going to be there every step of the way. I promise."

Leaning in, he sealed his promise with a kiss, and you were now much calmer with his reassuring words.

❅𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜

You took a deep breath as soon as you stepped inside the house, relieved to finally be back in the comfort of your own home. It's not that you hated your in laws, but to have them constantly tell you how to take care of their future grandson, because apparently you don't know what you're doing, irritated you.

If you were honest, at times you felt like they just saw you as an incubator instead of what you really were: Yunho's wife and mother of his child. It was horrible.

You went to the kitchen and decided to prepare yourself a little snack. You opted for something on the spicier side since you were craving it really badly. Right at that moment, Yunho came in and when he saw what you were eating he quickly took it away.

"Hey!" You exclaimed, trying to get your food back.

"You can't eat spicy food. Mom said it increases the risk of a miscarriage. " Yunho said while holding the plate high above your head.

"No it doesn't! Now give it back." You desperately tried to jump and take it away from him.

"Y/N stop doing that. It could hurt the baby or-"

"Oh for fuck's sake Yunho will you shut up and stop repeating everything your parents say?! I'm sick and tired of them basically tell me I'm not a good mother. I already feel shitty enough as it is with the mood swings and pregnancy pains, and I don't need you or anyone else making me feel worse than I already do!"

You finally snapped. You turned around and began crying tears of pain, fear, rage and frustration. Yunho felt horrible. He realized now he should have protected you more but he didn't. Carefully, he hugged you from behind.

"Baby, you're doing an amazing job. You'll see, you're going to be the best mom in the whole world. I'm proud of you. And.... I'm sorry about my parents. I promise I won't let them have a say in how we raise our baby anymore. Ok?"

He turned you around and began wiping your tears away.

"Don't cry anymore love. I hate to see you cry. Could you please smile for me?"

❅𝐾𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑒𝑜𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑔

It was already difficult for Yeosang and you to get pregnant. You spent almost 3 years trying, about to give up hope, when it finally happened. You were pregnant and Yeosang was elated with the news.

Although you and him were extremely careful, being your first child and everything, you still felt uneasy at times. It didn't help when you went to visit your family and ended up finding out all of your aunts have had at least 1 miscarriage before.

"Don't be so surprised dear. All women in our family have had a miscarriage."

You looked over at your own mother, who unfortunately had to confirm their allegations and tell you about the older sister you were supposed to have.

Since then you became paranoid. It was already a struggle to get pregnant, what if you were to actually lose the baby. One night, you had a terrible nightmare that had you shaking and bawling your eyes out. It was so intense, Yeosang had to wake you up and hold you for 10 minutes until you calmed down.

You then told him about what your aunts said, about your dream and your fear of something happening to your baby. Although Yeosang was scared as well, he had to be strong for both of you.

"Honey, please don't think such things. So far we've been very careful about this and the doctor says everything is fine. If you worry too much about this, it could be harmful."

"I know, I know Yeosang.....but what if I do have a miscarriage? What will we do then? How do we know we won't have one?" You asked him.

Yeosang held back the tears threatening to spill out. He refused to imagine that scenario in his head.

"We don't know Y/N, no one ever knows these things....but I do know that I love you and our baby. And I know we're doing our best. I can't promise you that nothing will happen....but whatever happens, I want you to know you're not alone. I'm here with you, by your side and we're going to get through all this together. No matter what comes."

Yeosang kissed your forehead reassuringly. Although he was scared, he had hope that both of you would be able to bring your baby into this world safely and unharmed.

❅𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝑆𝑎𝑛

You immediately turned off the TV. You internally cursed yourself for watching another drama therapist show. You usually rolled your eyes when it turnt out someone cheated on their spouse, but this recent one made you paranoid. Because the husband had cheated on his pregnant wife because 'he had needs she couldn't fulfill'.

It got you paranoid. You immediately started wondering if San would ever cheat on you, that is if he hadn't already. It had been 5 months since you last had sex. For all you knew, he could be seeing someone else. As if on cue, San walked into the house.

"Hi honey. How's my lovely-"

"Who are you seeing?" You immediately accused him.

San looked at you as if you were crazy.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"Don't lie to me! Who are you cheating on me with?" Maybe you were jumping to conclusions too hastily, but you were so anxious to think rationally.

"Who am I cheating on you with? What has gotten into you woman?" San could not believe what he was hearing.

That's when you broke down and confessed rather embarrassingly the whole situation. San listened to you patiently, without judgment and you felt worse.

"I'm sorry." You apologized.

"Baby it's fine, I get why you'd get worried, but trust me. I'm not some asshole that's going to cheat on my wife, who by the way is carrying my child. I mean seriously, who does that?" San actually cringed at the thought, making you laugh a little.

"Baby I love you and only you. And why would I want anyone else when I'm lucky enough to have all this?" San smiled as he pulled you close to him.

"So you still find me attractive?" You asked with doe eyes.

San chuckled.

"Baby I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. And besides....."

Carefully, he picked you up and began taking you to your bedroom.

"Who says we can't make love while you're pregnant?"

❅𝑆𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖

Mingi came into the house all happy. Wanting to surprise you with a date in a fancy restaurant, he waltzed into the room and hugged you tightly.

"Hi love!" He screeched loudly as he pecked your lips.

"And hello to you as well." He gently rubbed your belly, cooing softly.

He looked back at you, noticing that you loved out of sorts.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"I'm just not in a good mood." You replied, your voice had a cold tone to it.

Mingi smiled. "Perfect! I know just how to cheer you up! I made reservations for a date! So why don't you make yourself look even more beautiful so we can go?"

"I don't want to." You said, sitting on the bed.

Mingi pouted at you.

"But baby. I really want to take you and our baby out. So please-"

"No Mingi! I told you, I'm not in a good mood! I'm cranky and this pregnancy is killing me, I'm sore all over my body and I'm carrying an extra 40 pounds that I'm not used to and it's all your fault!"

Mingi stood there, shook at your sudden outburst.

"My fault?"

"Yes! You were the one who wanted to have a baby, it was your idea yet you're not the one having to go through all this! It's me! You selfish idiot!" You crossed your arms and glared at him.

Usually Mingi would have been hurt by your words, but after months of dealing with your raging hormones, he knew you didn't actually mean what you said. Sitting next to you, he wrapped an arm around you.

"Come on Y/N, you know you don't mean that..."

Chuckling, he teased:

"And if I remember correctly, you were thrilled and wanted to immediately start trying when I brought up the idea of having a baby."

You poked your bottom lip out in annoyance, not wanting to admit he was right. Mingi laughed softly and kissed your pouty lips.

"Did you know you're even more adorable when you get all feisty and angry?" He said as he pinched your cheeks.

"Stop." You swatted his arm away, unable to contain the smile that soon spread on your face.

Mingi may be your annoying husband at times, but he always knew how to make you soft.

❅𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝑊𝑜𝑜𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑔

"Must you go?"

You held onto Wooyoung's arm, refusing to let him go.

"I'm sorry about canceling movie night darling, but it's important and the guys need me."

Wooyoung sighed as he put on his jacket and began loading his revolver.

"It's not that it's just..."

You stopped yourself and looked down. Wooyoung stopped what he was doing and caressed your arms.

"What is it babe?" He urged you to tell him.

You looked at him and told him:

"I'm scared ok? You've been doing this for years, but now I'm scared. Scared of something happening to you...or someone breaking in and hurting me or our baby..."

You couldn't form any more words, getting choked up with your emotions. You began thinking about all the worst case scenarios that could possibly happen. For all you knew, you could end up being a young widow and single mother for the rest of your life.

Wooyoung pulled you against him, his hand stroking your hair. That was all it took for you to start crying as you held onto him like your life or his depended on it.

"Sweetheart, I promised I'd protect you and I'm not breaking my promise. Nothing will happen to you or our child." He whispered softly.

"What about you? What if something happens to you while on a mission?"

Wooyoung actually let out a laugh at that.

"Babygirl, nothing can kill me. I'm practically bulletproof."

You hit his chest.

"What? It's true. Come on Y/N. I'm not about to let anything happen to me. I need to stay alive to be there and hold our precious daughter when she arrives."

You rolled your eyes.

"We don't know if it's a girl yet-"

"She's a girl! And that's final! We're having a girl!" He exclaimed, refusing to believe he was wrong.

❅𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝐽𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑜

"What's on your mind honey bunch?"

Jongho knew you well enough to know something was troubling you.

"Do you think this was a good idea?" You asked him.

"Ordering food from this place? Definitely not. This is why I say we don't try new places." Jongho let out a tiny 'bleh' when he tried something that was a little too spicy for his liking.

"No....I mean...the baby."

Jongho dropped his fork and looked at you in shock.

"You're....you're not actually regretting this..are you?" He was afraid to hear your answer.

"No, not the baby .... but me." You said.

"You? Why?" Jongho got up and went immediately went to your side.

"I mean....what if I end up being a bad mother? What if I don't know what to do? I'm scared Jongho." You looked at him, face full of worry.

"Pumpkin, listen. I'm scared too. I mean.... it is our first time."

You both chuckled at that .

"But the thing is, we're both going to try our best to give our baby a good life and to protect it as best we can. And I can assure you that I think you'll be a wonderful mother."

Your eyes lit up at his comment.

"You really think so?"

Jongho nodded and pulled you onto his lap.

"I do. I mean, you take good care of Mingi. I'd say you already know the basics of taking care of a baby." He snorted.

You laughed despite not wanting to.

"You're so mean to him!"

"If you want extra practice, I can ask him to come."

Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.

[yunhoiseyecandy]

ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ (ᴍ)

✕ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ — ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ

✕ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ — ᴘʀɪɴᴄᴇ!ꜱᴇᴏɴɢʜᴡᴀ x ꜰ.ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

✕ ᴡ.ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ — 𝟸.𝟶ᴋ

✕ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ — ᴠᴀɴɪʟʟᴀ, ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ, ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ, ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴇᴀꜱɪɴɢ, ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ

─────

it was strange, at first. all the fluffy gowns and early mornings, but you’d learned to get used to all of it. 

it was worth it, day and night, having people dress you up in fancy outfits, only to have them take it off an hour or two later to put something else on. because no matter how annoying or stressful it was starting to get for you, all the pressure being put on the future queen of this palace, it meant so much to seonghwa. 

and that was the main thing that kept you going

the thought of making him happy, something he’d only just recently started to feel;

happiness, love

you two had met only a year ago when you had taken the position as his maid, soon realizing that the person who people have claimed to be a notorious monster of a human was someone who might’ve just been the most beautiful person you’d ever met in your life.

he was pleasant to be around, treating you with such respect that made you feel as if you had known him your whole life, and not only a week.

it didn’t take much time for you both to warm up to each other, soon becoming closer than anyone could ever imagine. and maybe it was because of how much time you’d spent together, or it might’ve been because of how warm and giddy he made you feel inside, but you soon came to realize that maybe you were meant to be more than friends.

but of course, that could never happen, only stories held fantasies where the prince fell for his maid. at least, that’s what you believed.

“y/n, why can’t you just listen?” the food you had brought him had been discarded a long time ago, the only thing that could be heard throughout the palace walls being your screams towards each other. “listen? seonghwa, I can’t just listen,”

“well, why not?”

“because I’m sick and tired of it! you keep telling me we’ll be fine, that we’ll make it through this because we’re strong,” you paused to take a deep breath, the tears running along your waterline threatening to fall. “but how can you be so sure? I’m a maid, for christ’s sake - your maid!”

he hated the words that were spewing out of your mouth, knowing they were only the result of fear and anger, and he knew you were just-

“I”m scared, seonghwa. what if we can’t get through this? what if we’re not meant to be together?” he watched as you sat on his bed, hands running along your skirt to try and fix the wrinkles you had made from fisting the material.

“baby, of course we’ll make it past this,” he walked over to where you sat and knelt in front of you, “just give me some time, okay?” 

and you did, to which he proved he was able to hold himself to his words. the day after you both had broken out in an argument the king himself had asked his son what had happened, concerned for seonghwas well being.

seonghwa told you that his father had known about your relationship with him, but had decided it’d be best to keep to himself about to matter. 

and you were more than grateful for that, telling the king yourself how much it meant for him to accept your feelings for one another. it meant more than the world itself to have his blessing, and when he had told you the queen had adored you since the day you’d started working here you burst out in tears at the joy that was overwhelming your body.

to say you got lucky would be an understatement. you were starting to feel confident being in a relationship with seonghwa, now that you were allowed to show public affection towards him. it was an amazing feeling, the first time you kissed him in front of other people, finally being able to claim the man you love.

and whenever he would wrap his arms around you, pulling you in for a deep kiss, it would make your tummy do backflips. his simple actions becoming habits that were no longer meant for only in private.

and god were you excited to start this new chapter in your life.

—

“love, you look beautiful.” seonghwa said as he gently grabbed your hands in his, his warm skin easing your nerves. 

“seonghwa, shut up.”

he giggled, looking over your features. your hair was tied up in a tight bun, the baby hairs that layed along your hairline popping out. he’s been waiting his whole life for this moment, and so far everything was going as planned.

‘do you, seonghwa park, take y/n l/n as your beloved wife?”

seonghwa felt tears spring in his eyes, trying his best not to hold you by your waist. but as soon as he looked over to you, he tried to blink them away as fast as he could, noticing that you were already crying.

“I do.”

the priest smiled and turned towards you, book in hand. “and do you, y/n l/n, take seonghwa park to be your beloved husband?”

choking back a sob, you spoke out the words you’ve been waiting to say all day. 

“I do.”

“my god, am I exhausted,” seonghwa plopped down on the chair closest to the window, looking outside to the palace garden. “me too, baby. do you want to go to bed?”

he pondered over the thought for a moment.

of course he wanted to go to bed. it’d been a long and tiring day for both of you. so of course his body longed for the soft pillowy feeling to engulf him.

and as much as he longed for sleep, he couldn’t ignore the feeling of need in his stomach, his eyes moving to the light coming from the bathroom where you stood doing your night routine.

“seonghwa? are you listening to me?” you shouted, hands moving the warm, damp cloth over your body. you hated feeling all sticky, the sweat from earlier starting to build up. 

“yes,”

“good, did you hear me?” pulling the towel around you, you stood up and picked up the white lace in your hands, admiring the material and how it felt. if he’s tired, this can wait until tomorrow.

“baby, can you come out please?” he swished the water in his cup around some, pulling the glass up to his lips. 

thinking of his next actions, he placed the cup on the window seel and pulled at his tie, unbuttoning the few first buttons of his shirt.

the only thing on his mind right now being how gorgeous you are; pretty, plump lips that he so badly wanted to engulf in his own, and you had such a beautiful body, too.

he absolutely adored the stretch marks that layed across your waist and tummy, loving to move his fingers along them whenever your shirt rose up just enough.

and your thighs? god, the amount of times he’d wished he was in between them is concerning-

“are you okay, love? you have that serious look on your face that you only have when you’re deep in thought.” you giggled, opening the door to reveal you in one of his shirts.

“y/n,” he hesitated, unsure if he should say it or not. “I want to make love to you.”

you paused, body tensing up while pulling the covers down to the end of the bed where he was standing. “w-what?”

walking up to you he pulled you flush against his body, “you heard me, love. may I?”

you were speechless as you rested your hands against his chest. you felt the heat start to pool between your legs, back arching into him ever so slightly. “I-”

“please.”

he softly met his lips with yours in a soft, but meaningful kiss, his hands resting dangerously low. you felt him nip at your bottom lip and you moaned, giving him perfect access to taste you.

“seonghwa, you can touch me more if you want.”

and so he did. he pushed you back and onto the bed, hands flying to push up your shirt. but before he continued his eyes flickered to yours as if asking permission, and you nodded to let him know it was okay.

your mouth fell open when his hand gently rubbed against your nipple, mouth coming down to lick at the perky nub, his eyes never once leaving yours.

“seonghwa, shit.”

his lips felt like feathers while he trailed down your body, hand pulling down your underwear and tossing it to the side. “you sensitive, my love?” and some part of him told him not to feel bad when you didn’t respond.

because as soon as he spread your legs open, mouth trailing sloppy, wet kisses along the inside of your thighs, that’s when he knew you most definitely were sensitive.

and that thought had him wanting to taste you even more

“you’re just my sensitive little baby, aren’t you? such a good girl for me,” his hands ran over your thighs while he placed soft kisses on your clit. “more, please.”

his senses were on overdrive as his tongue slid over your slit, collecting your wetness and dipping the tip of it into your needy hole. “feel good, baby? you’re so fucking sweet,”

your back arched and you clenched around him while you looked down at the view below you. his head was dipped between your legs, and you don’t think you’ve seen a prettier sight. “y-yes, gonna come-”

he pulled away at your words, hands coming down to pull his pants down with his underwear.

“I want you to come on my cock, love. maybe later you can come on daddy’s tongue.”

kissing his way up your body, his lips met yours in a more heated kiss this time, tongues moving with each other. “see, baby? you taste so damn good.”

you wrapped your legs around your waist, arms finding their way to rest at his shoulders. his skin was warm against yours, touch easing your burning skin. “I can’t wait to be inside you,”

he ground down into you, tip grazing your clit, and it had you moaning for him to fuck you already.

“you’re so wet, love.” he pushed inside some, eyes roaming your face for any sign of discomfort. “can you take all of me?”

you nodded, and he pushed in, bottoming out and moaning at how tight you felt around him. he knew you relaxed some, so he knew you weren’t in pain when he pulled back out and pushed in again.

“fucking hell, love. you look so beautiful like this, screaming my name like the good girl you are.”

he felt so good inside of you, the vein running along the bottom side of his cock grazing your walls. “s-seonghwa, I can feel you everywhere,”

“yeah? love how good daddy’s making you feel?”

his cock twitched when you clenched around his cock, hand resting at your waist to steady himself. “c-close!”

“me too, love. come on, soak my cock.”

you squirmed under him, legs tightening around his waist. he shoved his head in the crook of your neck and groaned while he came in you, filling you up till it leaked out of you.

he layed on his elbows for a moment, taking some time to get his breathing back to normal.  

slowly he pulled out of you, kissing your forehead and walking to the bathroom the get a washcloth. 

“are you okay, baby? was I too rough-”

“I’m okay, seonghwa. promise,” you said and offered him a cheeky smile. “good,”

“can we cuddle?”

─────

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

─────

[ ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ]

@galaxteez

─────

ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ʀᴇꜱᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ © ʏᴜɴʜᴏɪꜱᴇʏᴇᴄᴀɴᴅʏ. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴏɴᴇ.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ.

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[whumpingcrow]

Pt. 17 "Pet Show"

CW: unconscious whumpee, low self worth, creepy/intimate whumper, drugs/alcohol (explicit), injury mention/descritption, past torture mention, tics/tourrettes, gaslighting/emotional whump, pet whump, whumpee wearing a collar, dubcon (explicit), noncon (descriptive, explicit, 18+ please), multiple whumpers (let me know if I missed anything!)

Elias woke up in a soft bed, legs tangled up in thick, pleasantly warm blankets. He felt groggy and heavy, like he'd been underwater for years. He looked up at the window next to him, at the bright light shining through and the trees swaying softly in the breeze. When he sat up, he felt a dull pain in every limb, every inch of his body, and he whined loudly. He had to remind himself where he was, in France with August, but he couldn't remember the last thing that happened before falling asleep. He was in chains, August had a bat...he had a taser, at some point...what next? What caused all this horrible, gnawing pain?

He pushed himself out of bed, sighing as he tried to stretch out his tense muscles without hurting himself. He looked around the room, at how neat it was, at the expensive looking furniture and the lavish sheets. It felt wrong, too nice, like it was wasted on him.

"August?" He called out as he padded down the hallway. His voice came out raspy and broken up like he'd swallowed glass. At this point he wouldn't be surprised if that'd happened, with everything else August had done to him. When he got out to the living room, August was standing up and rushing toward him, a bright smile spread across his face. Elias stopped in his tracks, he didn't think he'd ever seen anyone, especially August, look so happy to see him.

"You're awake!" He breathed. "I was starting to worry about you. How do you feel?"

Elias shrugged, holding his breath when August closed in on him. He didn't look mean or threatening, but Elias didn't want to let his guard down too much, just in case. "I'm sore, is all." He was lying of course, he was nervous and confused and in so much pain it made him feel ages older, but August looked worried enough. He shouldn't be worried, he didn't need to waste his energy.

"You've been out for a few days. My friend said you were just having a rough come down but I...I was really worried." He reached out timidly and stroked Elias's hair out of his face. "You'd wake up for a few minutes at a time and say stuff to me, but you weren't making any sense."

Elias frowned at him. It had been days? That explained the heaviness, the confusion. He stepped forward, until he was pressed against August's chest, and closed his eyes. "I can't remember what happened."

"Well uh...what's the last thing you do remember?" August led him into the living room, holding him close as they sat down.

Elias thought hard for a moment, thinking back to the chains. It was painful to think about, how badly it hurt, how scared he was. He vaguely remembered someone else being there, he remembered being left alone for a long time, he remembered thinking his arm was going to snap off of his body. But he couldn't remember the chains being taken off, or leaving the basement. "Um...we were in the basement. I was chained up and there...there was someone else there with you. That's it."

August sighed at that, a sound of disdain, of disappointment. Elias cowered away a little, terrified of displeasing him. "After that, you didn't want to go to sleep so we did some coke. We went out to the bar, remember that?"

That was right, the sea of bodies, the too loud music and too close strangers. It was overwhelming, even as a memory, and he tried to keep his tics contained when he got nervous. "Yeah, a little."

"Good. That's good, baby." He patted his thigh gently, watching Elias relax at the praise. "After that I took you to a diner. You were upset, you were very tired."

Elias nodded eagerly, now aching, yearning, for more affection, more praise. "Yeah, you were gonna sober up and take me home."

August smiled softly, proud, almost, and reached up to pet his cheek. "That's right, love." He cleared his throat, looking down at his lap. "You fell asleep at the diner, and after I sobered up we went home, and you stayed asleep. But then the next morning you wouldn't wake up, not all the way at least, and not for very long. And the next day either. So I had a friend, he was a doctor for awhile, come look at you, and he said you'd be alright, so I was just waiting it out."

Elias frowned at how pained his voice sounded, how he seemed actually, truly, concerned for his well being. "I'm ok now, August. Don't look so sad. Please."

August smiled sadly at him, nodding dismissively. "I have something for you," he said suddenly, standing up, "wait here, close your eyes."

In spite of himself, Elias smiled softly and did as he was told. He had to admit, it was nice to have August acting so kind, because he knew it was just acting. So maybe it was ok to let himself indulge a little, to allow himself to be spoiled and praised and fawned over like a prize when August wanted to do that. He didn't deserve it, he knew that, but if August could act like he cared, Elias could act like he was worthy of it, act like it didn't make his skin itch in self doubt.

Elias felt the couch sink down next to him when August returned, then flinched hard as something was wrapped loosely around his neck. He should have known, he should have expected that the play-pretend wouldn't last long, that he would hurt him when he was bored again.

"Relax, baby. Not gonna hurt you." He fastened whatever it was around his throat, kissing his jaw softly. "Wow," he breathed, "look at you, Elias. My beautiful boy."

Elias pulled his hands away from his face, brushing his fingertips against the thing August fastened there, confusion written on his face. "What...?" He whimpered.

August pulled him to his feet and led him down the hallway, to a huge, floor length mirror against the wall near the bathroom. Initially, Elias was breathless and speechless at the condition he was in, pale and bruised and sickly. August always made him look and feel like some sort of ghost, sometimes Elias had a story in his head that he had really stayed dead when August choked him and now he was just cursed to haunt him the rest of forever. Except, it felt more like August was the one haunting him, most of the time. Still, sometimes it just made things easier when he told himself things like that, made it all feel less real. But then his focus shifted from how awful he looked to the thing around his neck, leaned closer to inspect it. It was leather, thick against his skin, with a tiny pendant hanging from the end, embedded in jewels. It was a collar, he realized, and his stomach tightened in an uncomfortable, confusing knot.

He was just a pet, he wasn't a human, a person, just like he knew already. He was not on August's level, or anyone else's for that matter, and he shouldn't be loved or cared about in the way a human should be. He existed solely to please others, specifically August, to be used by them, to be fawned over and stroked and paraded around and have stress and anger and pain taken out on him. The collar meant he was owned, he belonged to August, as his plaything.

But on the other hand, it meant August cared about him enough to make him wear his ownership. He belonged to August and he was going to make sure Elias and everyone else knew. In a sick way, the most twisted way imaginable, it reminded him of a wedding band. When he got a closer look, the tag had "Bunny" engraved on it, and he bit his lip. It wasn't even his own name.

"You just look absolutely darling in that, little one." August cooed, slipping his arms around his waist easily, kissing his temple. Elias leaned into his grip instinctively, obediently, and put on a weak, not quite genuine smile.

It was humiliating and scary and wrong, but whatever it took to make August play nice with him, whatever it took for him to touch him so tenderly and say such sweet things, he would do it. It didn't hurt this way, and being humiliated by being lovey dovey with him was a little more bearable than being chained up again. He would do anything to avoid that happening again. "Thank you," he choked out. He tried to sound genuine and appreciative, he truly did, but it felt like he couldn't speak around the collar. It wasn't tight, not tight enough to matter, anyway, but the presence of it around his neck felt the same as a gag.

The way August held him there, kissing on him, pressing close against him, was familiar. Elias realized, he'd been out of it for days now, which meant August hadn't been able to take what he always wanted, at least not from him. And he really hoped not from anyone else. He wondered if he was the first person August had put a collar on. He wondered if he'd put one on Allen, then felt like vomiting when he found himself hoping that he hadn't.

Eager to please, Elias turned toward him and wrapped his arms tight around his neck, brushing their lips together gently. August hummed, hands gripping his hips tightly. "Thank you," he whined again, this time drawn out nice and slow, how he knew August liked to hear it.

"What do you think you're doing, bunny?" August teased him.

I want you to tell me you love me again, he thought, I want you to tell me I'm good and important and worth something, even though I'm not. I want you to lie to me.

"Please touch me," he begged instead, "please." Because he knew he didn't get to want things, because he knew August liked when he begged, because asking to be touched was so much simpler than asking August to pretend that he cared about him.

So August did, he took him back to the bedroom and undressed him, everything was off now but the collar, and touched him until he was shaking, until he was defiled and sensitive and tired. He pushed Elias until it was too much, and then he pushed more. He loved it when Elias was asking to be done and trying to contain his discomfort by biting his tongue, but he liked it even more when he couldn't even help the noises coming out of his pretty mouth, or his body twitched and trembled underneath his hands or a weapon, or tears were streaming down his face helplessly. He was so beautiful, crying out his name and gripping at the sheets desperately.

When it was finally over, Elias was disappointed that he hadn't gotten through it without pain, like the last time. He had hoped that he would please August enough into not hurting him, but he could feel the burns around his wrists from the ropes and he could could feel the bruises on his arms from struggling as he was pinned down, and he could taste blood in his mouth from being hit. Hadn't he been good? He'd been asleep for days, how could he have messed up? Maybe that was it, that he had been asleep for days and August had to wait for him. He couldn't help that, but he knew August didn't care.

He watched from his spot on the mattress as August sat up, reaching over to grab a joint from the bedside table. He lit it up, allowed the smoke to curl around his head. He looked at Elias with a warm smile, then laid back next to him and pressed it to his lips. He didn't ask if he wanted any, he didn't have to, because Elias didn't have the luxury to want. He didn't get to say that he was afraid of being high again, that the idea of falling asleep for days and days again frightened him even more than August did. So he inhaled, and then he felt the familiar haze drape over him. Time slowed a little, his throat burned, the room seemed distant from him, like looking at it through the lens of a camera, not his eyes.

"How's your shoulder?" August checked, his tone actually concerned. Elias didn't know what was going through his head, with all of this back and forth of caring about him and then slamming his fist against his face for no apparent reason.

"What?" Elias coughed.

"Your shoulder. It was bothering you the other day. How is it?"

"Oh. Um...fine." he stretched his arm out, wiggled his fingers to show August. He could see the bruises peppering his skin, and he sighed. He was surprised when August wrapped his fingers tenderly around his wrist, smiling at him.

"You are so beautiful, my angel," he cooed softly, fingers trailing over the injuries on his arm, "my perfect little bunny." Elias was soft and pliable under his grip, but his eyes were wide with apprehension. He was still slightly riding on adrenaline, ready to run or struggle at any second, if August decided he wasn't done with him yet, after all.

"Now that you're awake," he said, sitting up to look at him, "I was going to have some friends over. I figured it would be more fun with you conscious."

Elias frowned; the last time he was introduced to August's friend flashed into his mind, he was reminded of the cold chains and the shock of the taser. He was scared again, and he wanted to tell August that he didn't feel good, that he wanted to just lay in bed and be alone for awhile. He imagined that August would just laugh at him. "I uh...o-ok." He forced a small smile, knowing that if he agreed out front it would save him a world of trouble. August seemed pleased with that, and he sat up with a hum.

"Let's get you looking presentable then, huh?" He remarked, pulling Elias to his unsteady feet.

Elias felt nothing short of a centerpiece, an ornament, arm candy. He was put into a loose white button up, that was only buttoned to his ribs to really show the collar August insisted he kept on, along with a tight pair of black shorts. While August was helping him brush his teeth he had a chance to look over himself in the mirror, and he looked horrible. The older bruises were a green and yellowish hue, while the new ones were bright red, the shade they only stayed for mere hours before blossoming to purples and blues. August made sure to wipe the blood from his face, but he couldn't change the scrapes and cuts that were slowly healing. Not that he seemed to care much, and Elias was sure his friends wouldn't care much either.

Once people started to arrive, Elias was discarded on the couch, watching the flow of expensive looking people come in, grab glasses of wine, laugh and speak with August like they knew him. Elias didn't fit in, he knew that. He was raised from trash, with no family, fending for himself, and now he was sitting here wearing a collar like some sort of animal. He was less than them, and the realization made him want to crawl under the covers and hide away from all of their patronizing gazes.

"Aw, quel mignon petit animal de compagnie." What a cute little pet. Someone was saying a few feet in front of him. He glanced up for a second to see an older woman in an elegant black dress eyeing him, a tall glass of dark wine resting at her hip. He hated the way she looked directly at him, with her thin lips tipped up in a smile. "Tu veux une cigarette, chiot?" You want a cigarette, puppy? She eyed his collar, then quirked an eyebrow up. "Ohh, il est un lapin. Cigarette, lapin? Ou vin?" Oh, he's a bunny. Cigarette, bunny? Or wine?

Elias blinked at her with his wide, nervous eyes, then began to search for August amidst the people. Of course he wasn't anywhere close. He recognized the word cigarette, and when he looked back to the stranger she was moving to sit next to him with one extended. Elias didn't protest as she popped one into his mouth, lighting it up for him. She sat so close to him, her round thighs pressing against his bony, cut up knees.

"Thank you," he whispered after the cigarette was lit, lifting a trembling hand to hold it in between his knuckles. How where his knuckles also bloody? What happened to them?

"Ah, tu es américain?" Ah, you're an american? She mused, trailing her manicured fingers over the bruises on his cheek. "Tu ne parles pas français?" You don't speak french?

Elias chewed at his lip, shaking his head at her to try and get her to understand that he couldn't talk with her, wishing she'd leave him alone when she realized. He began to search for August again, taking a long drag of the cigarette. He wished he could have some booze, but he was too afraid that he'd wake up days later again with no memory of what happened. Elias couldn't decide if it would be better or worse to not remember this strange woman touching him, stroking his injuries like prizes and talking to him in that condescending, playful voice. As he thought it, another hand snuck into view, this one holding a large glass of a dark amber drink, and he looked up to see an older man staring down at him hungrily, shaking the glass at him.

"Petit garçon besoin d'une verre, oui?" Little boy needs a drink, yes? He mumbled to the woman. His voice was gruff and had an edge to it, and Elias was frightened enough by that alone to take the glass that was pushed toward him quickly. He downed some of the bitter drink, chasing it with the cigarette with a grimace. "Il est parfait." He's perfect.

"Oh, oui. Regarde sa bouche." Oh yes. Look at his mouth.

Elias's skin crawled at the way they spoke, their eyes taking him all in, her hands all over his face, poking and prodding and dissecting, almost like they were shopping. He wanted August. He hated that he did, but he couldn't help but ache to be in his sure, strong arms to shield him from their touch. With a huff, he polished off the drink, setting the glass down feather soft on the coffee table.

"Viens, mon cher," come, my dear, the woman spoke, standing up with a sigh. He frowned when one of her long fingers looped through his collar and hoisted him up with her. "Je veux utiliser ta bouche." I want to use your mouth.

"I have to wait-" he gasped, stumbling a little as she dragged him along behind him, "August wanted me on the couch. Please, I have to wait for him." She ignored him, and he could only whimper hopelessly as she shoved him into an empty bedroom in the hallway. She turned the light on as they entered, kicking the door shut behind her. He was mortified when she locked the handle.

He let out a whine when she forced him down onto his knees by his collar, until his cheek was pressed against the soft carpet and he had to squeeze his eyes shut. "Please," he rasped out, trying not to shake in the uncomfortable position she held him in, "st-stop please."

"Ah, chante pour moi, lapin." Sing for me, bunny. She stood up, allowing him to raise his chest only about an inch before her sharp heel dug into his spine and forced him back down. Her drunken giggle rang out seconds after his broken cry of pain. Elias didn't dare struggle against her, but his breathing was coming in hitched, desperate whimpers. He tried to think of the french word for please, for stop, but he knew nothing but "yes" and "thank you", and there were no two terms he wanted to say less just then.

Soon enough she removed her shoe from his back, allowing him to right himself partially. He was looking up at her with a fearful grimace, shoulders rising and falling unevenly. The look on her face was shockingly familiar, Elias had seen it on August countless times. She was drunk on the power she had over him, high on how much control she had over him right then. And August seemed to like when Elias gave himself up just a little more when he was already beyond helpless. It made him a little softer, usually, if Elias played it just right. So he took a shallow, shaking breath, and then he fought the pink blush he knew was on his cheeks when he forced himself to choke out "M...Merci."

"Oh, lapin," Oh, bunny, she moaned, crouching down in front of him and grabbing his face, "très bien ! Bien garçon." Very good! Good boy. She ruffled his hair gently before she stood straight again. She sounded overjoyed, and Elias was relieved that it had worked. He'd done good, thanked her for the humiliation and pain just the way she would like it, and she was happy. For a moment, it looked like she might turn to leave, but then she grabbed a handful of the skirt of her dress and began hiking it up. Elias felt an uneasy sinking in his stomach as he watched her, suppressing a shudder when he realized what was happening.

"I...I can't do that. August would be...would be so upset. Please don't." All of his words fell short on her, and she grabbed at his collar again, pulling him closer. He tried to tip his head away from her, but then her fingers were in his hair and forcing his head forward and he couldn't do anything, he wasn't allowed to say no, he wasn't allowed to fight back. August told him he existed to be used, and she was just using him.

And soon she was moaning, pulling at his collar hard to get him closer, saying things he didn't understand, in a voice that made him feel filthy, and he felt like he was out of his body watching it all unfold. His knees hurt, his neck hurt, his spine was aching. When she finally decided she was done, she shoved him off of her, panting as she dropped her dress. He choked back tears, watching her hopefully. He wished he understood her so she could tell him he'd done well. Had he done well? He wasn't sure, he'd never done that before. Finally, she reached down and wiped his bottom lip gently, smiling. "Attends ici." Wait here.

With that, she turned on her heel and left, shutting the door behind her and leaving him there. He was too afraid to move, staying on his knees with his head tipped downward and eyes squeezed shut. Whatever drink the strange man had given him didn't do enough to quiet the horrible dread in his chest, but at this point he wasn't sure if anything would.

When the door opened again, the woman had returned along with the man from before, and Elias only looked at them for a second before turning his head back down. He didn't want them to look at him, he wanted to be left alone, the closest he would get to that was looking away from them. But they didn't want to just look at him, of course, they wanted to use him, and use him they did. This time he couldn't help the tears streaming down his cheeks or his muffled cries that were overpowered by the aggressive grunts of the man above him. He kept waiting for it to be over, he was clutching at the man's pants sleeves desperately, trying to stop himself from ticcing and taking out a chunk of the foreigner in his mouth.

When they finally stopped and pulled off of him to straighten out their fancy clothes, Elias curled into a little ball on the carpet, arms wrapped around himself to try and stop the small sniffles from escalating into sobs. The two strangers left him there, the door slightly ajar. The nice white shirt August gave him was stained now, his knees were reddened and raw, his jaw hurt. But none of that mattered, did it? He had fulfilled his purpose, twice even, that was what should matter. Elias had obeyed, he'd let himself be used, because that's what he was told he was made for. He hoped he'd been good, that August wouldn't hurt him anymore than he already was. But even as he told himself that, he felt absolutely tainted and ruined and wrong, this was what it felt like to be less than the dirt beneath people's shoes, Elias felt bad, to say the least.

And then, as the door opened and shiny toed black shoes and dress-pants started approaching, he couldn't help but feel like he was only going to keep getting worse.

[oliverwxod]

The hardest part is letting go (Geralt imagine) - Part 4

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex, angst

Summary: Part 4 to this 

"You've been grumpy these past few days" Jaskier pointed out. The two of them were sitting away from a group of people on the hunt for a certain kind of monster or creature that no one knew of. Not even Geralt at this point. 

The sun was just setting in the West, a deep orange hue reflecting off of the trees, creeping through the branches and leaves in a starry pattern, Y/n couldn’t help but focus on the side of Jaskiers face where a perfect circle of the sun had chosen to rest upon his skin for the next few minutes.

Geralt was sitting with the group across from them, glaring at the floor as he sharpened a piece of wood into a dagger shape, the others all spoke around him, ignoring his mood as this was how the expected him to be. He was a Witcher and they weren’t known for being friendly. 

 "M'fine" she mumbles in reply to Jaskiers question, pushing her food around with a makeshift fork. 

 "Really convincing" he chuckled momentarily before seeing the sadness hiding in her expression. “You know that you can talk to me?” he spoke seriously, a tone that was not fitting on Jaskier. 

"do you ever just feel- sad?" She asked quietly, staring slightly across the way at the setting sun, wishing life was as simple as the beauty and peacefulness of watching a sun rise and sunset. Jaskier sighed deeply, sending her a sympathetic look that she missed by not paying full attention. 

 "I know who you're talking about" he spoke. Sending a quick glance at the white haired Witcher who was still glaring at the ground across the way. He had also been in a mood the past week, however his was more prominent and known to everyone in the way he spoke in even shorter sentences than normal. 

 "Yeah well- I don’t know how to feel, I've never experienced a feeling like this staying with me for this long” she mumbled. 

“It takes time” Jaskier said quietly in return. “it always takes time to heal- time or-” he trailed off .

“time or what?” she asked catching the hesitation. 

“time or space” he said lowly. He did not mean to put that idea in her head. 

“space?” she asked. “as in- I don't know - like leave?”.

“I don’t think that would help.” Jaskier said quickly.”Plus you can’t” 

“you make it sound like I'm a prisoner Jaskier” she said laughing gently. 

He gave her a side smile, happy to see an ounce of joy on her face; both of them missing the intense glare Geralt was giving the two of them who looked to be in a deep conversation.

“I know you’re hurting” he spoke softly, giving her a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “Just give it time”

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He’d fucked up. Geralt knew this. He fucked up badly, he should have never put the two of them in a situation like that. He swore he would always keep things professional but he crossed that line and there was no way to go back and change what had happened. 

Geralt hated conversations, he was hardly the man who would ever start one which Is why he had been waiting so long to talk to Y/n. He assumed she would be the first to come to him and ask to talk to him, but she hadn’t. In fact she had been acting as if nothing had happened between them; instead he only received short clipped sentences and answers to his questions, or silent nods with a blank look in her eyes. 

He didn’t realise how much she was hurting, nor would he unless she said it out loud and clear. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

The monster turned out to be a hoax, a figure of the imagination which someone had spread around the village creating widespread fear and terror. 

This only worsened Geralt’s mood, time wasted, precious time where he could be earning coin. 

“well at least the scenery was nice” Jaskier spoke cheerfully, trying to lighten the sour mood. The atmosphere was tense as it had been the past week and he was getting sick of Geralt’s foul mood. 

“Yeah, the sunsets were amazing” Y/n added, smiling softly at Jaskier. He smiled slightly in thanks to her for replying and at least trying to have a conversation. 

“Sunsets don’t earn coin” Geralt grunted, Jaskier rolling his eyes at Y/n making her chuckle quietly.

“and neither does being a brooding old man” Y/n huffed back under her breath, immediately regretting it as Geralt stopped in his way and turned to face her. 

“Old?” he questioned, one eyebrow raising in surprise. Is that what she really thought of him. 

Jaskier winced slightly at the look on Geralt's face, knowing he was either about to laugh or go into an even worse mood, Jaskier hoped it was the first. When Y/n didn’t reply he grunted. 

“oh princess” he shook his head “you’re going to regret saying that” 

“yeah?’ she questioned challenging him, a glimpse of a moment when everything seemed to go back to normal, the old sense of banter returning “what are you going to do-”

A loud piercing scream sounded, startling them all including Geralt who had been too engrossed in finally speaking to Y/n.

Y/n immediately ran towards the sound, Geralt’s mind not kicking in until she was 20 meters or so away from him, his Witcher senses coming second for once. He followed quickly his heart thumping in its cage as Y/n was only just in his sight.

“Princess” he yelled hoping she would slow down, but she was stubborn. The scream sounded again and Geralt ran faster, catching up quickly to Y/n, grabbing her almost roughly by the shirt and pulling her behind him in a slight panic as they came to a clearing in the woods. 

A mother and baby were behind a large tree stump, a Wyvern flying overhead of them, swooping in low towards them, Y/n shouted as the Wyvern got closer to the mother and baby, its tongue snaking out in a hiss. Geralts hold on her had tightened as she tried to escape to run towards them.

“I'm warning you Y/n” he spoke in a deep threatening voice.

“I can’t just watch them get killed” she almost growled in anger at him, trying to remove his hold on her. 

“I won’t let that happen” he spoke trying to reassure her but she wouldn’t listen. A quick punch to the side of his jaw momentarily startled him, he didn’t see it coming, the last thing he expected to come from her. It was fairly unnecessary but Y/n had been wanting to that for a while and it was the perfect opportunity. 

She quickly escaped his arms, running towards the mother and child, the Wyvern quickly becoming distracted by her, circling her as she ran. Geralt was hot on her heals after recovering from the shock of her punch, trying to grab at her, but she dodged past him at every chance until she knelt to the ground, mud coating her knees as she reached the mother and baby, cowering slightly over them to protect them from the beast. 

Geralt huffed angrily as he stared at her, deeming it safe for a while that he could taunt the Wyvern enough to distract it away from the three of them and slay it himself. 

He had killed a creature like this many of times, it was fairly easy and tame for him so it didn’t take barely 5 minutes of his time, a taunt of a game, and a slash of a silver sword straight through its neck, killed the beast immediately. 

“it’s gone now, it’s okay” Y/n spoke hushed to the traumatised pair. 

“T-thank you- thank you so much” the woman spoke “Please, come with us” she said standing up “we have an Inn, food and drink and a bed, it’s the least we can do to repay you” 

“what did I miss?” Jaskier spoke appearing out of the woods, out of breath and red in the face.

Y/n couldn’t help but chuckle, half in relief and half in surprise at how everything just happened so quickly. However, one glance at Geralt told her just how unhappy he was with her. 

----------------------------------------------

That’s how they ended up in the Inn, a quietness fallen upon the room as Y/n sat down on the edge of the bed. Geralt stood across the room, staring out of the large window that overlooked a small stream. The moon reflected off the water, creating a serene glow throughout the room, hitting the side of Y/n’s face as she cradled her hand with her other in pain.

“What happened?” Geralt asked after quickly surveying her actions. 

“Your face happened” she mumbled.

Geralt scoffed “you didn’t have to hit me” 

“I wanted to” she spoke. “would have done it either way” 

“why?” he asked quickly, his face pulling into a deep frown. 

“Because-” she halted, a flush on her cheeks creeping up surely he must have known why she was so pissed at him, he was clever and it didn’t take a man of much intelligence to figure it out. 

“because what?” he asked. 

“because you slept with that witch!” she spoke in an almost whine. 

Geralt halted, a numbness freezing over him as he took in her words. She had been mad about that this whole time and not what he had thought. He thought she was angry over the fact that he slept with her, took her virginity and she regretted it. 

“Princess-” 

“no. It doesn’t matter. I know I shouldn’t be hurt by it- but - it’s hard not to Geralt. You wouldn’t understand.”  she said, her voice getting quieter and quieter. 

“why wouldn’t I understand?” he demanded. 

“Because you’re a Witcher! You don’t know this feeling” she argued. “You don’t know how to be a human or-”

“Princess-” 

“and you don’t even try to understand sometimes, it’s like you expect-”

“Listen to me” he spoke getting slightly annoyed that she wasn’t letting him speak. She startled slightly not realising she had gone on a slight ramble. “I didn’t think you knew about that, about me and-”

“that whore” she spoke glaring at him. 

“Y/n” he glared back, her glare turning slightly sheepish. 

“then why have you been such a bitch all week?” she huffed. 

“a bitch?” 

“yes. It’s been hell to be around you this week” 

“I thought you were mad because you regretted it” he said, the statement making them both pause, they hadn’t spoken about what they had done, this was the first time either of them had openly addressed it. 

“You- you really thought I regretted it?” she asked quietly, chewing on the bottom of her lip in nervousness. She didn’t want to look up, she didn’t want to see his expression. 

He sighed out loud at how much of a mess this situation was. This was exactly why he didn’t do feelings or involve himself with personal matters, it got confusing and he didn’t have the time for it. But he guessed he could make time for it now. He was mean’t to protect her after all.  

“I didn’t” she spoke, the words reassuring him slightly, but then the fact hit him that she had seen him. She had seen him make a mistake by sleeping with Yennifer and that was something he couldn’t take back. 

“didn’t or don’t?” he asked, voice deep and only just a little hesitant. 

“don’t” she replied, a throbbing of her hand suddenly gaining her attention again as she flinched. 

Geralt moved from where he stood, confidently reaching for her hand, holding it in his gently as he surveyed the damage that was caused by her punch.

“You should have said” he spoke. 

“what? that I don’t regret it?” 

“Yes. But also the fact that your wrist is clearly fractured” he said sternly, as he turned her hand in his so her palm was facing downwards, a deep purple bruise  splashed onto her skin, spanning the length of her hand and the first few inches of her wrist. 

“it’s fine, it doesn’t hurt” she lied knowing he would pick up on it immediately. 

“hmmm” he grunted, “if you say so” 

“did you regret it? do you regret it? is that why you’ve been in such a foul mood?” she asked quietly. 

“Y/n” he sighed. 

“so you do?” she spoke, humiliation starting to set in, as she stood up, wanting nothing more than to leave the room. 

Geralt was quick to pull her back down so she was sitting on the bed beside him now. 

“don’t run” he said calmly, it was quiet for a few moments before he carried on speaking, trying to find the words to say to her. “I don’t regret it Y/n. God it was something I had been trying so hard not to let myself think about”

“why?”

“Because I'm meant to protect you" he spoke. "It was what I was paid to do" 

"You don't need to" she huffed. 

"I do and I can't do that if I don't have a clear mind.

 "What do you mean by that?" She asked, she didn't know if she actually wanted to know. 

"It means I'm not good at this stuff" he spoke "and that will only serve to hurt you which in return will only create more anger and frustration and that is not an ideal environment to be in." 

"I still don't know what you mean" she said, frowning in confusion at the riddles he was spurting. 

"You will grow to hate me. And if that happens it will be harder to protect you" he sighed, running a hand through the front of his hair as he set his gaze onto her face, seeing the confusion. 

"It's simple though" she spoke, shaking her head slightly in amusement as if it were obvious.

 "It's not simple" he said. 

"It's is, just don't hurt me and I won't hate you Geralt. Hell even if you did I could never hate you" she spoke, eyes meeting his. He shook his head.

 "Y/n" he said, his tone serious, the hint of a smile her face held disappearing at the tone. 

"I can't-"

 "Geralt-"

 "No." He spoke, holding a hand up to silence her. "I'm sorry Y/n, but I can't, we can't and I don't want to hear anymore of this okay?" He hated himself, hated the words coming out of his mouth, but it was for the best.

 A Princess did not belong with a Witcher. 

He spared a glance at her, making sure his face gave nothing away but the blank stare of finality. She wasn't looking at him, head bowed to the floor, she gave a small nod her heart breaking more inside with every step Geralt took towards the door.

---------------------------------------------

These took forever to do aha, please let me know what you think/ like and reblog would be appreciated xx

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[bigasswritingmagnet]

When History Comes Calling Ch 3/14

artwork by the incomparable @snuffes​

Fandom: Mass Effect

Rating: Teen

Pairing: none, some background Fshep/Garrus

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Minor medical stuff, flashbacks, panic attacks

Summary: In 2170, Mindoir was attacked by slavers. Hundreds were taken  captive, hundreds more were slaughtered. Kiryn was the only Shepard to  make it out alive. For years, he buried his grief, kept his head high,  and did whatever he needed to survive.He survived Mindoir and the batarians and when the Reapers came he survived them too.

But  when the war ends and he escapes his batarian masters to the Citadel,  the discovery that his twin sister is alive and well might just be the  thing that breaks him. The Hegemony's greatest assassin will remember  what it means to have something to lose.

-----

“I’m sorry,” the nurse said, for the second time. “You don’t want the anaesthetic?” 

“Topical is fine,” he said, patiently. 

Huerta Memorial had held up surprisingly well, given the circumstances. From the scoring and burn marks around the main doors and windows, there had been enough trained biotics to hold off the main invasion force. He would have thought would indicate a fairly unshakeable staff, perhaps with a jaded “do your worst I’ve seen it all” outlook. 

It was rather irritating to find that this one, at least, was extremely shakeable.

“But… you do understand that this procedure is very invasive. It will be extremely painful.”

Vondur gave her a steady look, mentally rolling his eyes at her dramatics. It wasn’t that invasive. A minor incision, do whatever it was they did to disarm and disengage the device, remove it, stitch him back up. He had sat through worse with nothing but medigel and something to bite down on.

“They didn’t use any anaesthetic when they put it in,” he pointed out. The nurse blushed, her blue cheeks turning purple. 

“I-I just meant that it would be more comfortable… wouldn’t you rather not live through it again?” 

How to explain that he did not want to be unconscious and helpless on a table while people cut him open, even voluntarily. That fifteen years of dealing with the lowest, darkest parts of an already corrupt and bloody society had taught him how dangerous vulnerability could be. That even here, even now, he could not risk the slightest chance that he might be recognized, and that if he was, he would need to be able to defend himself with his full faculties. 

How to explain that he was afraid of not being able to run. 

Instead, Vondur said nothing, just met her gaze evenly until she nodded and went back to her clipboard. 

“Topical it is,” she said, and walked away very quickly. 

He’d been expecting to be taken to a surgical suite, but there weren’t enough to spare. Several of the bedrooms had been converted into sterile makeshifts, and apparently this procedure was so invasive it could be done with a handful of staff and one surgeon. 

They put him in a paper gown and sat him backwards on a chair that wouldn’t have been out of place in a tattoo parlor. There was a slight pinch of the needle as the nurse applied the anaesthetic. Vondur took a deep breath and found the moment. 

He didn’t feel the scalpel, just a pressure on the back of his head. Hardly anything. Compared to getting it put in-- 

Find the moment, stay in it. Memory, especially that memory, would make this far more unpleasant than it should be. Vondur opened his eyes to regard his surroundings, and saw a ghost. 

His body went rigid, every muscle clenching at once, his heart and lungs freezing in his chest. 

Keris. 

If he had ever dared to imagine what she might have looked like if she had survived, it would have been very like the woman limping down the hallway. The softness of youth was gone, replaced by a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. The too-red hair matched the stubble on his head. He couldn’t see the color of her eyes from this distance but when she turned--

find the moment find the moment find the moment

--his hands tightened on the arms of the chair, fingers digging into the padding--

--couldn’t be her, couldn’t be, impossible--

--to look at the man beside her--

find the moment find the momentfindthemomentfinditfinditfindit

--her lips curled into a sardonic smile, one eyebrow raised--

--the doctors and nurses talking rapidly, hands on his shoulders, his lungs weren’t working he couldn’t breathe--

--he’d seen her body, seen her die--

FIND THE MOMENT FIND THE MOMENT 

--the doors were not soundproof and though the ringing in his ears threatened to deafen him he heard a voice calling for Commander Shepard--

--and Keris turned to answer. 

 Vondur fell. 

The darkness caught him. 

    The soccer ball danced between his feet as he swerved around his friends, eyes fixed on the goal. Morgan and Griff were bearing down on him, fast. There was no need to check over his shoulder before he feinted, and the two boys darted right as the ball spun behind him. Like an arrow, Keris shot past him. Griff tried to change direction and smacked right into Morgan. 

The goalie moved to intercept. Keris grinned, gaze locked onto her target, and passed the ball left. Kiryn caught it and before anyone else could catch on, the ball hit the net. 

Cheers and groans resounded around the playing field as Keris and Kiryn bumped fists. 

“I thought we agreed not to let them play on the same team anymore,” someone complained.

“How do you guys even do that?”  

“Twin power, baby,” Keris said. Kiryn mimed a mind exploding, complete with sound effects. They laughed, and Kiryn choked on the taste of ash. A column of smoke began to rise on the horizon. What was going on? A fire? Should they tell someone? Call someone? 

It was already too late. 

He was crouched in front of the window in the living room, no longer tasting the ash in the back of his throat, or hearing Tara’s muffled sobs, or Nial’s patient, urgent attempts to get out a distress signal. He was aware only of the gun in his hands, the targets in his sight, and his sister’s presence beside him. 

They worked in perfect rhythm, one firing while the other’s gun cooled down. They did not need to speak. He was sure their hearts were beating together. 

Kiryn always thought that there should be foreshadowing when terrible things happened in real life. An innate sense of foreboding. Grey skies, nervous animals, a sick taste on the wind. The universe should give a warning.  

A lazy, sunny Saturday should not end with blood, and fire, and death. It should not happen so fast. 

A low, sharp whistle began, growing louder and louder. A missile, coming in fast. Dad lunged to cover Tara, Nial stared in dumbfounded shock at the ceiling, Kiryn grabbed for Keris’ hand, he heard her say his name, frantic and frightened and the world exploded into fire and pain.

Rubble all around. Sparking wires. Burnt flesh. Kiryn tried to sit up, but something heavy was pressed against his back. His eyes tracked what he could see. Mom was slumped over, eyes open and empty, blood at her mouth. A hand too badly burnt to recognize protruded from the debris. He turned his head until he saw a flash of red. Keris, lying unmoving just out of reach. 

“Keris,” he rasped. He dug his hands into what remained of the carpet and tried to drag himself forward, fingertips straining. “Keris.” 

She wasn’t breathing. Her hair had fallen in front of her face and it lay still, unstirring. 

“Got a live one!” 

“Kill it. More trouble than they were worth, the rats.” 

“No, bring it. Sell it to the ring, let them feed it to something nasty. At least we can get something out of them.” 

Hands gripped his shoulders and he was being lifted up, dragged away, leaving Keris behind. Still he reached for her, hand outstretched and empty, trying to touch her even as she faded into darkness.

“Keris.”  

[oneweekoneband]

meet me behind the mall!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why Taylor Swift thinks that teenagers drink wine, and I don’t know why she chose to record and release a wistful high-school-other-woman song which left me feeling naked as a frog and therefore furious. Some questions we ask only so as to be soothed by the familiar sound of our own voice, still there after all. The answers are not coming. 

The Taylor Swift Teen Love Triangle Triad of “cardigan”, “august”, and “betty” is the part of folklore that makes me most bullish about where Taylor is going as an artist. A turn away from writing songs which are intentionally meant to appear confessional and toward, instead, songs which reveal the personal as refracted through fictitious circumstances and made-up characters is a better use of her big, weird brain, and allows that brain to be unleashed on a broader plain of experience. It’s incredibly embarrassing to be an adult woman with my own problems to manage and to have living in my head Taylor Swift’s demented YA fiction, but it’s an embarrassment that feels appropriate, like I could never really have escaped this fate. On “betty” she gets to play-act as a contrite teen boy who knows he’s done wrong, and while obviously the most charming thing about the song is Taylor saying “fuck” (and also her giving us a little of the ol’ razzle dazzle by way of some light twang), her experiment with imagining what it’s like to be a skateboarding kid who hates dances, trying on an imagined teen boy interiority as a costume, is effective too. 

“cardigan” is more removed, less plaintive and shouty. This is a song from adult Betty’s perspective looking back on this period in her life and in her relationship with James, who the song seems to imply she is still with now. While—full offense—I believe marrying your high school girlfriend or boyfriend is a disorder which should have its own listing in the DSM, restoring order by putting the original couple back together so as to make the story one of true love triumphing over adversity, rather than a series of sketches of kids doing fuckup kid things just because it is not easy to be alive and to be alive alongside others and with gentleness, least of all when you are very new at it,  is the only conclusion this saga could ever have reached with Ms. Swift at its helm, and I do appreciate the consistent, if baby-brained, internal logic. I’ve never known a teenage girl whose signature garment was a cardigan and, frankly, this Betty sounds like sort of a self-absorbed drip (I do love, love, how Taylor’s own voice comes through so clearly on the lightly threatening, smug lines, “I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired / And you’d be standing in my front porch light” !!) so I’m not totally surprised she got cheated on, but that’s very uncharitable of me and probably comes from the same meaty polyp in my brain that is responsible for my still loving all the hilariously mean-spirited, woman-hating songs on Speak Now.

“august” is about the other girl. The “her” in James’ rather pathetic defense, “slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long”. “august” tells a story that brings to my mind another story. It is a story I won’t belabor because it is neither exciting nor unique. It will not illuminate an unexplored human experience, as it is, in fact, incredibly boring, regular, an incident which would be at home in any normal Tuesday, ordinary as meeting at the mall. This is a million years ago and there is a boy whose basement I go to sometimes after swim practice. We have matching team sweatpants with our names embroidered above the pocket at the right hip and I like to switch pairs. I’m you and you’re me and when we have pushed and bent the tiredness out of our muscles together, making experimental declarations in hushed voices down there while the furnace groans, well, then I’m you and me and you’re you and me and we are we are we are. 

One February day at twilight I bound out of the school building with wet hair and a fleece jacket, but his car is already gone. No worries. Standing at my locker the next afternoon like in a movie he will say, easy as anything, that he has a girlfriend, a family friend, two towns over, she goes to private school. You’ve probably met her, he says. And right then I remember that I have. Last year I did her zipper in the bathroom at a dance. We were fighting but we never really broke up, he says. For months you’ve been fighting? is all I say back. Fighting since October? As if that matters. Like that’s the point. My voice is pinched and ugly and I know I’ll hear that sound forever. Well, anyway... I feel bad. He doesn’t clarify for whom he feels bad. He’s got one sneaker toe working against the other one atop the tile floor that’s the murky green of sea glass. He looks at my St Brigid’s cross necklace, at the blue Masterlock hanging open like a broken jaw, at someone in a hoodie who punches his shoulder as they walk by. Nothing personal, he says, and there is a tiny smudge of cafeteria pizza at the corner of his mouth that I hadn’t noticed until that second and a day ago would’ve reached up and wiped away with the pad of my thumb, laughing. I get it, right? Oh, sure. 

The worst of it was not skipping pre-calc to cry in the bathroom, since, I mean, I couldn’t actually do pre-calc and would never learn how, but was inspecting my soul in the dark when I couldn’t sleep that night and finding part of me had known this all along, had chosen to pretend, wanted the wanting so badly I’d knocked from my brain the truth of how it was going to end. This would not be the last false love from which I’d find myself unceremoniously discarded, and in time I’d learn to be the liar myself, too. It’s unseemly to pathologize bad decisions, to take on poor impulse control or self-destructive patterns as an identity, but I do think that just as some people are born serial monogamists, part of a twosome forever with very little mess in-between, some of us were built from the very first cell to live like a pool ball struck and banging teeth first into the wrong mouths and hearts. I can examine my romantic history and tap my finger against the obvious errors, the times I chose what I knew would hurt me, when I ascribed hope to situations where it did not belong, when I, like the narrator of “august”, regarded someone as not mine to lose but still put myself in the position to be harmed by the losing, yet I can’t produce alternative choices that feel realistic. If you are in love and it doesn’t work out, there is mourning, there is pain, but there is all the while a record which shows something happened, it was real. “august” stands somewhat apart in the Taylor Swift catalog as a song neither about the glory of true love or the heartbreak when it’s over, but about the small, paper cut heartbreaks that are inescapable during each day of an untrue love. “It was never mine”. When it turns out you were wrong the whole time, fooling yourself, then even remembering that you’d been happy in the lie is like being trapped in a fun house, body bent and broken in the mirror, a thing not built right for this world. 

“august” is about the girl who James was with over the summer, the girl he leaves to return to Betty. Taylor said it’s the first of the three that she wrote, and I fear this has warmed me to her in some new and unsettling way. I fear this means she’s matured as a person and writer, capable now of a more expansive view of situations, to be generous. It’s like how you shouldn’t feed gremlins after midnight; there is no telling what new and more dangerous creature this woman might turn into if she’s suddenly been taught empathy. When Taylor-as-James in “betty” sings, “Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?” in his effort to woo Betty back I hate him a little, that thoughtless child undeserving of the kind of adoration in lines like, “your back beneath the sun / wishing I could write my name on it.” I try to extend grace to this fictional boy, but I think of the “Do you remember? in “august” and I feel a little sick from being so certain that no... No, he doesn’t. Not really.

“Back when we were still changing for the better / wanting was enough / for me it was enough”. I’d like to think there is no last chance to change for the better. I’d like to think wanting is enough so long as you want the right thing. I’d like to think that God made sure Taylor Swift became a singer instead of a young adult novelist because the absolute last thing this world needed was this freak joining the circus that is YA Twitter. Most of all, I like thinking that Judy Blume knows that her beautiful, searing, devastatingly romantic and also textually gay 1998 novel Summer Sisters is the only important book that has ever been published, and, further, that the world will show me the respect of understanding and accepting that “august”, when removed from the context of the Swiftian child romance trilogy, sounds as if it were specifically written in homage. Taylor, I know I’ve accused you of at least fifty crimes this week alone, but if you want to talk about Summer Sisters, please get in touch.

[moonknightly]

Sinking Down Into My Thoughts : Poe Dameron x Reader

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Excerpt: “He couldn’t take the ghosts in his lungs and the skeletons in his closet. He couldn’t stand the taste of war anymore, so permanent on his tongue. The battles stitched across the skin of his back. All of the times he had failed.”

Warnings: Uhhh this one is sad af. Suicidal thoughts, mentions of death and loss. Sad.

At first it had been easy.

Poe was familiar with loss. He had been so young when he experienced it for the first time — with his parents, when they had so valiantly risked their lives to hopefully better his. Years he would never get back. Time. Time that was cut even shorter when Death had come for his mother. He had been only eight. Just a small boy, a boy too young to understand what had been taken, ripped right out from under him. Too young to understand why daddy was crying, and why mommy wasn’t there to tuck him in at night, to stop his own tears from flowing down red cheeks.

But he supposed he should be thankful, in some twisted sense of the word. Because that experience had numbed him, helped to dull the sting of loss when it struck. Death, loss, mourning — it was unavoidable, especially in a life riddled with war. It was easy because it was unavoidable.

But then suddenly, it was. It was all so completely avoidable. Suddenly Poe realized there was so much he could have done, so much he could have changed. So many lives he could have saved if he had only tried just a little harder. If he hadn’t been so selfish. If he had sacrificed himself.

And he was disgusted with himself, because he often used death, the loss of life to inspire others. Used it as an example. Talked about it like it was some beautiful sacrifice and not a terrible tragedy.

All that blood — it was never once beautiful. It was only ever red. He took it and he turned it into something beautiful, something romanticized so people would take chances, so they wouldn’t be afraid.

He couldn’t do that with you.

He hadn’t been able to say anything about your death at all.

It had been the one that had made him realize that he was so completely fucking selfish, that death wasn’t something to sentimentalize. Because fuck, it had hurt so fucking badly. It had stabbed him through the heart, and now he would have to die twice because you had gone first.

And he hated himself even more because he hadn’t felt a damn thing. It wasn’t like all of the stories, where you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, when you just know that something so terrible has happened to the person you love. It wasn’t like that at all. He felt nothing. Shouldn’t he have felt something?

And for that reason, part of him wondered if you really were gone. Part of him wondered if BB-8 had simply been wrong. Maybe he missed something. He wondered if maybe the small droid had blown a fuse in the landing, broken a sensor, something, anything. How many times had Poe crashed a ship and still managed to walk away with his life? There had to be a chance. Hope.

But his beloved droid, the only thing he had left, promised that he had been so completely thorough in checking the wreckage. That you weren’t there. There was nowhere else for you to be. It had been a week now, and Poe had spent every single night laying in the grass just outside of the hangar, waiting for you.

You never came.

He couldn’t stay on base.

He was driving himself mad. Everywhere he looked, he saw you, felt you. It was all too much. Poe hadn’t even been able to bring himself to sleep in the bed you once shared, hadn’t been able to bring himself to look towards the spot where your X-Wing should have been parked — the spot right next to his. He hadn’t been able to say your name, though it was still ringing in his ear, your voice was still in his head, and he just wanted it to stop.

It wouldn’t fucking stop.

He had been flying with no particular destination in mind, though still on Ajan Kloss, for over ten hours now, hoping to clear his mind. But his thoughts — they were all you. All he could think about was you and your laugh and the way that you smelled and how you couldn’t get through the mornings without your caf, and how you ran your fingers through his hair on the nights he couldn’t sleep, and how you would sneak up behind him in the command center and wrap your arms around his waist.

How he didn’t believe in a Heaven, but he had been picturing you there, because Maker, he wanted you to be there, waiting for him even though he fucking knew he didn’t have a chance at getting in himself.

How he had lost and lost and lost, but he never imagined that he could lose you, but your life proved to be just as fleeting as everyone else’s.

Just as fleeting as his could be.

Poe wanted to crash his X-Wing. He wanted it to be over. He had even closed his eyes for several minutes at a time, just hoping to crash into something, and he was growing frustrated because every single time he felt himself getting just a little too close to the ground or any other object, he pulled back. He couldn’t fucking do it.

He was so, so weak.

He wanted to do it. He deserved to do it. But he couldn’t fucking bring himself to because your voice grew even louder each time he came close, telling him not to, begging him not to. And stars, he would always listen to you. Always did before.

But he just couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the ghosts in his lungs and the skeletons in his closet. He couldn’t stand the taste of war anymore, so permanent on his tongue. The battles stitched across the skin of his back. All of the times he had failed. How he had failed you.

Poe was losing his mind.

And he was even more sure that he was losing his mind when he heard BB-8 frantically rush out that he had someone from base trying to come through his comlink, your call sign attached.

“Buddy, that’s Y/N’s. You know that.”

More frantic beeping that translated into two simple words — “I know.”

Poe’s stomach sank. He really did have a loose wire, a missing bolt, he wouldn’t make such a monumental mistake otherwise. BB-8 didn’t make mistakes.

“Beebee, this isn’t funny.”

The droid made a noise that sounded almost like a huff. “Just trust me.”

Poe grit his teeth, wanting to slam his head into the controls if he were being quite honest. But regardless, he flipped on the speaker of his coms, staying quiet, merely listening.

He heard some muffled talking, but he couldn’t really make out any particular voice or what they were saying. It had to have been a mistake, someone resetting something. Someone playing a sick joke, trying to mess with him. He shook his head, letting it hit the back of his seat with a small thump and a heavy sigh. He was just about to flip it off, already angling himself towards the ground again when a voice broke through the static.

“You know, I was kind of hoping that you’d be here waiting for me Dameron.”

He pulled up suddenly, causing the ship to jerk wildly for just a moment, his eyes widening and the air completely leaving his lungs as if he had been kicked in the chest.

“Y/N?”

“Hi flyboy.”

Poe couldn’t speak. Completely lost the ability to. His head was spinning wildly and he felt like he was going to be sick. This couldn’t actually be happening. How could this be happening? BB-8 had been so sure.

“You still with me Poe?”

He swallowed the lump that was threatening to rise in his throat.

“I’m losing my damn mind.”

You laughed. You laughed and Poe’s stomach flipped because he thought he would never get to hear that beautiful, angelic sound ever again.

He swallowed again. He didn’t want to start crying, not then. He would save his tears for later that night, once he had you back in his arms and in the comfort of your shared quarters, once he was positive that this wasn’t his mind playing some cruel trick.

“How?”

His voice was nothing more than a broken whisper, and he hated how it sounded in his ears. It didn’t sound like him at all.

“I got thrown,” you sighed, and Poe felt his heart clench just a little bit. He remembered when he had crashed that TIE back on Jakku, how hurt and scared and dehydrated he had been before finding help.

Hurt and scared and dehydrated was better than dead though.

It was definitely better than dead.

“Are you okay?”

“Just a little banged up, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

Poe thought about her question, but his mind was jumping all over the place, still in shock, still not truly believing that she was really sitting back at base, talking to him. That her voice really was in his ear and not just some hallucination in his head.

“I don’t know.”

His words were truthful. He wasn’t lying. He really didn’t know.

“Come back to me baby. Come home.”

Why did he feel like he couldn’t?

“I’ve failed.”

“You haven’t failed baby.”

“I almost lost you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I can’t do this.”

Shouldn’t he have been happy? Shouldn’t he have felt something? Why was he still numb?

“Let me help you.”

He sobbed, the sound strangled, tearing through his throat so violently it burned his vocal chords.

He didn’t deserve it. Poe didn’t deserve anything from anyone. He didn’t deserve help, he didn’t deserve you, he didn’t deserve to live.

He deserved to lose.

“I need you, Poe Dameron. I need you.”

He stopped, his heart clenching in his chest — there it was, the feeling. Emotion. Something.

“Say it again.”

“I need you.”

Another tug.

You needed him. You needed him and you did deserve everything from everyone. You deserved all of the love and affection and every little thing you could ever possibly dream of. You deserved it all. You deserved better than him.

But he was selfish. He wanted to be selfish.

You needed him.

He needed you.

You didn’t deserve to lose.

He did, he still thought that he deserved to lose everything. But he couldn’t lose you, not again.

And he couldn’t let you lose him.

It had become so apparent that losing each other would only ever be red. It would never be beautiful, he could never make it beautiful.

Loss, death, all of that blood spilled in war — it was only ever red.

And Poe Dameron would do everything in his power to try and avoid it.

He’d come home. He’d see you in just a little while, and he would cry, just like he told himself he would, but he would also let himself get lost in loving you, the most beautiful thing that he could make.

[holyfuckthisfishcandrive]

Shots and Guilt

First, Previous(Chap. 23), Ao3

Word count: 3610

Warnings: Gun, Blood and Injury, (kinda) Torture, Knives, Bloodlust, Smoking, Underage Drinking, Drinking and Driving, Gore, Skipping a Meal, Alcohol (even more of it), Guilt, Choking, Mention of Past Murder, Panic Attack, Self Harm

This really isn't a nice chapter. If anyone needs it I can make a summary of it. Just leave a comment or send me an ask if that's the case. Stay safe.

Virgil listened to the sound of the rain pattering against the car and the radio woman report what had happened in Aunt Lian's block earlier this night.

Glitch monsters.

He dug around the glove compartment until he found Uncle Remy's cigarettes, hidden under the ammunition, lit one and took a drag. He watched the smoke curl and opened the window just by an inch to release it into the night.

Destroyed street lights.

He glanced at the Seven11 Remy had disappeared in about half an hour ago and lit his lighter again, watching the tiny flame dance in the stale light of the car lamp.

Messed up electronics.

A shadowy figure stood next to his window and Virgil glanced over at them. They were holding a knife. Good for them.

"Fuck off," Virgil mumbled tiredly and took another drag.

"Open the car door if you know what's good for you, kid," the guy demanded.

Virgil couldn't help but chuckle at that. He took his feet off the headboard and sat up slowly.

"If I know what's good for myself? If you know what's good for yourself you're going to fucking piss off now!"

"Kid-!" he thrust the knife at the window gap and Virgil kicked open the door hitting them square on the chest. They stumbled back and growled. "I'm going to fucking kill you, brat!"

Vigil stepped out of the car, taking the butterfly knife and the colt from the glove compartment with him.

"No, you're not," he stepped on his cigarette to put it out.

The robber was big. About twice as tall and five times as wide as Virgil, all muscles and heavy bones.

But at the sight of the gun, he froze. An uneasy smile took the place of the angry grimace.

They were in a lonely and dark parking lot. Nobody would look out of the window if they heard a gunshot or scream.

"Kid, don't do anything you're gonna regret. I'm part of the Trulow family. They're gonna hunt you down if you shoot me. No ones gonna find you're body! I bet yer mother's gonna get worried sick if her kid doesn't come home!"

Again Virgil laughed humourlessly.

The rain was cold on his skin and his hair stuck to his face and neck but he couldn't care less. There was that feeling in his chest again that he knew Papa knew well, even if he never wanted to talk about it, the feeling he couldn't imagine living without even after being told a thousand times that it wasn't normal, that he wasn't supposed to talk about with people outside of the family. That intoxicating feeling - better than any liquor, pills or joint but no less dangerous. "It's what makes our kind what we are," Uncle Emile had once said. The man across from him knew it too. Virgil could tell. Otherwise, he wouldn't flinch back. Wouldn't be able to see it in Virgil's smile and his every movement like a bloody red threat.

The bloodlust felt like a promise in his lungs.

"Jokes on you," he slowly walked towards the man. "My mothers dead. And if you're really a Trulow, how come I've never seen you on the Christmas card? I'm sure I'd remember a face as ugly as yours."

"What-?" the man stumbled backwards.

"If you want to make it in this city you really ought to learn who to threaten and who's out of your league. You're just another sewer rat. I'm like a motherfucking prince to you."

The man fell back on his ass, crawling backwards.

"Run along now, rat. Wouldn't want mommy to worry, would we?"

The man scrambled to his feet and turned to run.

Virgil raised the gun, aimed and fired.

A scream cut through the air as the man crashed into the concrete.

He sobbed and whimpered, staring at the blood sprayed over the ground as if he couldn't believe it was his. As if the realisation that there was now a hole where his foot connected to his leg hadn't quite made its way into his thick head yet.

"Sorry," Virgil said as he got closer and knelt down next to him. "Couldn't resist. You better not tell my Pa about this."

He dug his hand into the wound until his fingers found the bullet, ignoring the pained screams.

"He hates when I use guns. Which I honestly don't get. I mean, he uses them all the time! Bloody double standards," he inspected the bloody bullet in his hand.

"Who- Who the fuck are you?" the man sobbed.

Virgil grinned. "Have you ever heard those rumours? About Professor Logic having a child?"

The man's eyes widened in terror.

Virgil heard the doors of the Seven11 slide open and stood up.

Remy raised an eyebrow as he got closer.

"Jesus, can't I leave you alone for five minutes?" he asked.

"That was half an hour. And he started it. He wanted to rob the car or something. I only used one bullet if that's what you're worried about," Virgil tossed the gun over to him and Remy caught it in his free hand.

"Whatever. Just get in the car, hon. I got slushies and alcohol. We can stop at Crispy Creme if you want to."

"Sure," Virgil picked up the knife the would-be robber had dropped and jogged back to the car. "I hope they have warm doughnuts."

"They better. Oh, and there should be some baby wipes in the glove compartment. I'm not letting you eat with that guy's blood on your hands. Who knows what's been in that-? Wait, did you steal one of my cigs?"

"...No," Virgil claimed and was suddenly very interested in cleaning every crevice of his hand.

"Don't fucking lie to me. Just don't smoke in the car next time and ask before you take one. Emile doesn't like when the car smells," Remy handed him one of the slushies.

"Sorry," Virgil took a long sip until the pain of bain freeze bloomed behind his forehead before digging around in Remy's bag until he found the alcohol..

"Pour me some in too, would ya?"

"Sure," Virgil unscrewed the cap and poured some in his own then a bit more in Remy's cup. "More or is this good?"

Remy glanced over at him.

"Who the fuck do you think I am?"

"More it is."

"Exactly."

"I swear you're that "Two shots of vodka" vine," Virgil shook his head.

Remy chuckled. "I take zero offence to that. Also, I gotta make sure you don't drink too much. You have school tomorrow."

"You're literally drinking and driving. And I'm going to school trollied tomorrow whether you like it or not."

"I think this is why your father hates me."

"He doesn't hate you. He can't. You and Uncle Emile are like his only friends."

"Doesn't he also have that flower boy?" Remy pulled into the Crispy Creme's parking lot.

"That's his boyfriend," Virgil corrected and took another sip. Slowly he felt the alcohol kick in.

"You mean your new father, then?"

"I guess. Not officially yet but hopefully soon. He's nice. On the other hand, if he moves in I'll have to hide my skull collection."

Virgil followed Remy out of the car and into the shop.

The sugary sweet smell of warm doughnuts filled the air.

Remy bought a box, tipped a twenty and pulled Virgil back out with him.

"I'm not letting you drink any more," he decided. "You're not going to school drunk, kid."

"Yes, I am. Fuck off and give me a doughnut."

"Either you stop drinking or you don't get any doughnuts."

Virgil glared at him and took a doughnut.

"Fine."

---

He still had a headache when he went to math class later.

He wasn't sure if it was just the hungover or also something else.

Not that it mattered. He had already learned the shit, the man, whose name he couldn't remember, was explaining incredibly badly at the blackboard.

Instead of paying attention he stared blankly out of the window.

Slowly the sleep deprivation was also starting to catch up with him, making his eyes heavy.

Janus had texted him that they wouldn't be coming to school for the day, which made it even more dull than usual.

He should have stayed drunk.

Then it at least would've been somewhat interesting.

Virgil woke up again to the sound of the school bell. He blinked a few times, trying to reorient himself and sighed.

At least math was over.

His next lesson was English, then Chemistry.

Or maybe he should just skip.

It wouldn't make a difference.

Maybe he could find a nice spot for the graffiti design he'd come up with based on the last body he'd found in the sewers.

The rats had eaten the fuckers stomach out and Virgil had set the eyebrows or rather what had been left of the eyebrows, on fire before taking a few pictures for reference.

He'd just have to come up with something for when Janus asked where he'd gotten the idea.

Virgil left the classroom and ducked into the nearest bathroom, locking the stall door behind himself before climbing out of the window. He wondered briefly how long it'd stay locked before someone noticed that it wasn't occupied at all. Probably at least until the toilets were cleaned. Whenever that'd be.

A sports teacher was preparing a lesson by the tracks but she was too focused on the task at hand to notice Virgil sneak to the fence and climb over it. He gave the school a middle finger over his shoulder as he walked away. For all he cared, every single person in there could go fuck themselves. Especially the principal.

Papa was working - at the university today - so Virgil went home to drop off his backpack and picked up his graffiti bag, headphones and the sketchbook he'd drawn the design in..

He strolled through the streets of downtown, avoided a few coppers and took an underground to take him wherever. As long as there were big empty walls there he didn't care.

He got out at the sixth stop.

Virgil didn't make a habit of spending time uptown.

Occasionally maybe, for family celebrations or when he and Janus planned heists but other than that he stayed in the part of town he had been raised in.

But that didn't mean that he didn't know the streets and alleyways, the shops, public buildings and skyscrapers made of glass, like towers out of a fairy tale. Papa was of the firm opinion that knowledge was power and he'd made sure that Virgil knew everything he needed about Woethough.

It didn't take him long to find a good wall.

The back of the main police station was just painfully boring.

Virgil pulled the half mask he used for vigilante business over his face, partly to avoid someone seeing his face and partly because of the fumes. Then he opened the sketch book and pulled two spray cans out of his bag, shaking them.

This'd be fun.

He worked far slower than usual, the anxiety over being spotted by the damned pigs making him pack up the cans he wasn't using immediately, so he'd be able to make a quick escape, and check for witnesses every five minutes.

By some miracle no one came by. For a while, he had the insistent feeling of being watched but couldn't find anyone.

He watched the flames, body and rats take shape with every colour he added until he got to the point where more would only make it worse.

Virgil took a few steps back and grinned. He signed it with his usual spider and took a photo to send Janus. They weren't online so he didn't bother waiting for a reply and packed up his stuff.

It was around noon now and he was getting hungry but ignored the feeling. He could eat later.

Instead he walked around some more, pickpocketed a businessman he recognized from TV - Mr Grimm or something like that - and bought a few new markers from the stolen money, before climbing onto the roof of a library to test them out.

At eight he took a train back to downtown.

It was already dark thanks to autumn finally taking over properly and most other teens were probably either suicidal, gang members or at home.

This was the beauty of the city.

As soon as the sun went down the few laws that were actually followed became meaningless.

Now the city belonged to the street rats and the lawless. They were all animals. From the racoons and possums, over the henchmen and thieves up to the mafia and his family.

All animals.

Hungry for blood.

Greedy and destructive.

Virgil absolutely loved it.

He passed a few of Uncle Jeremy's men beating up a cop with a crowbar in an alleyway, greeting him as he passed, watched a woman smash a chair over the head some guy who had tried to grope her, dishevelled and angry, and grinned at the raven and racoon, which were fighting viciously over some small animal one of them had killed.

There was a light burning in the living room when he got home. Not the ceiling light - it was far too muted for that.

He unlocked the front door and shut it behind himself. It was warm in here.

"I'm home!" he called, taking off his shoes and jacket.

No reply.

"Papa?"

Still no reply.

Virgil frowned, waiting for a moment longer and went into the living room.

Papa was slumped on the couch, fingers tracing an empty glass. Next to it on the table was an empty bottle of whiskey, that Virgil knew had been more than half full just this morning. He'd opened it after all.

Slowly Papa looked up as if only noticing him standing in the doorway now.

"...V'gil," he slurred.

"How much did you drink?" Virgil asked with a frown. He couldn't remember ever having seen Papa drunk.

He blinked at the bottle and gestured vaguely with one hand. "J'st a little."

Virgil sighed.

"Well, you clearly had enough. You're fucking trollied. Let's get you to bed, shall we? You'll hate yourself for this tomorrow, you know?"

"Already do," Papa mumbled as Virgil put his arm over his shoulder to support him.

Papa leaned on him heavily and Virgil staggered under the weight slightly but managed to bring him to the stairs, where Papa could also hold onto the bannister, taking some of the weight of his shoulders.

"You look so much like your mother," Papa suddenly said, just as they reached the second floor and Virgil almost let him fall in surprise.

Papa didn't talk about her.

He never did.

"She had her hair like that for a while too," Papa continued. "Then she grew it out longer. She looked so beautiful. Like an angel."

Virgil kicked open the door to Papa's room.

He didn't say anything, almost forgetting how to breathe. Papa was actually talking about her.

Carefully Virgil let him slide onto the bed and ducked to take off his shoes.

"I didn't mean to kill her," Papa said, anguish in his voice as he began combing through Virgil's hair with one hand. "I really didn't. I  just- I just wanted to scare her."

His hand slid over Virgil's cheek slowly and even though Papa was looking at him Virgil had the feeling that he wasn't seeing him.

No.

Papa was seeing her.

"I didn't think it'd be that fragile," Papa's hand slid down further and settled on Virgil's neck. A jolt of panic shot through him. "I didn't think it'd break that easily."

Papa began to squeeze.

"I just grabbed her and pressed down."

His grip began to hurt and Virgil tried to gasp for breath, clawing at the hand on his throat.

"And then she was dead. Just like that."

Blackspots appeared in Virgil's vision and he swung out wildly.

His fist hit Papa on the temple and he collapsed onto the bed.

Virgil gasped and coughed, stumbling back towards the door and slammed it as soon as he was on the hallway.

He still couldn't breathe.

Why the fuck couldn't he breathe?!

His vision swam, from tears this time instead of lack of oxygen.

Was this how she had felt?

In her last moments, getting choked by the man she had loved and trusted?

He didn't want this. This panic in his chest keeping him from breathing and making the world around him blur. At least not because of Papa. Not him. Never because of Papa. Papa was supposed to be safe. Papa protected him. Papa helped him calm down.

Papa had just tried to kill him.

Virgil sobbed.

Papa had tried to kill him the same way he'd killed her.

Virgil barely remembered to grab his jacket as he ran out, slamming the front door and running down the dark street.

He stopped at the North Bridge and collapsed against the railing.

The air was now so cold it almost burned in his lungs as he finally managed to take a breath. His throat hurt. He carefully wrapped his hand around it. It'd bruise.

 "You look so much like your mother."

Virgil stumbled on through the streets. His reflection in a dark shop window caught his attention and made him stop.

His cheeks were streaked with black.  His eyes were covered almost completely by messy black hair.

So she had had shoulder-long hair at one point.

Virgil grabbed a hand full of hair and pulled at it until a few strands ripped off.

He stared down at them.

He didn't want Papa to see her in his place.

The lights of another store, also reflecting in the shop window he was standing in front of caught his attention.

Did they have bleach there?

He crossed the street.

The shop was empty and Virgil was barely aware of the song playing over the speakers, so quiet that it was drowned out by his mind.

He grabbed two cartons.

Bleach and the first hair dye his hand touched. He didn't care. He had no idea what colour her hair had been. He just didn't want black.

He didn't bother to wait for his change as he handed the cashier a twenty and fled the store.

Back at home, Virgil locked himself in the bathroom and ripped open the bleach carton, barely skimming the instructions.

The chemical smell filled the room as he spread it over his hair and when he was done he had to open a window to breathe.

He set a timer on his phone and busied himself with washing off his make up while he let it set.

Once he was done with that he began pulling at the skin of his arms and digging his nails into the scars to keep his thoughts from spiralling again.

The timer went off and he rinsed his hair out.

It was almost white now.

He ripped open the secong carton.

Purple.

For fucks sake.

He spread it over his hair, careful to get it everywhere.

If he was going to look stupid he might as well make sure it wasn't splotchy.

He wasn't hungry anymore but he still went into the kitchen and warmed up some soup, forcing himself to eat, despite the gag reflex that kicked in a few times.

Then he washed his hair again.

He didn't bother looking at the result before he grabbed the razor and scissors. Once he was done he pulled on a turtle neck to hide the forming bruise, poured a glass of water and grabbed an aspirin.

For a few minutes he stood in front of Papa's door, frozen until he managed to go in, put both items on the nightstand and immediately flee again.

Then he once again grabbed his jacket and left, locking the door behind himself.

He wouldn't be able to sleep tonight. At least not if he stayed here.

---

A knock on the window snapped Janus out of the half-asleep half-awake state they'd been in for hours.

Slowly they stood up, the floor cold against their bare feet, and frowned at the figure in the window.

They grabbed a glass water bottle as a weapon and cautiously opened it.

The figure slid inside.

"Virgil?" Janus frowned and set down the bottle. "The fuck are you doing here?!"

"You owe me," Virgil rasped. "Five nights. From that bet."

Janus blinked, their brain catching up slowly.

"The one we made for my parent's wedding?"

Virgil nodded.

He was upset. Even in the dark Janus could tell.

They closed the window, cutting off the cold draft, and Virgil took off his shoes.

For a moment they contemplated what to say.

They were sure that something had happened.

They just didn't know what.

"I won't ask," they finally said, "but if you want to talk... I'm here for you, okay?"

Virgil nodded.

"Thanks."

He didn't say anything else. His voice was hoarse.

Janus led him over to their bed and climbed in, letting him follow.

He'd cut his hair.

It also looked lighter than usual, though they couldn't be sure in the bad lighting.

Janus had almost fallen asleep again when they hear a muffled sob.

They looked over at Virgil again.

He was crying.

So something bad had happened.

For a moment they hesitated before they wrapped their arms around Virgil and pulled him against their chest.

"It'll be okay," they promised.

Virgil just latched onto them and buried his face in their shirt.

Next

Taglist:

@patton-cake , @isabelle-stars

[brianc521]

Growl

Prequel to ‘We Made That’ 

Being pregnant with Shawn’s little pup was really taking a toll on your body. Your baby is growing very fast, and it’s becoming clear that your body isn’t keeping up.

You are so tired, all the time, you really just nap all day. The morning sickness lasts throughout the day, and you were bruising from the inside out from all the moving around in there.

Shawn’s so worried, he feels so awful. He’d never been around human mates before, so when you got pregnant he didn’t think anything of it until the third visit to your doctor, where he started seriously talking about how life threatening this could be.

You didn’t give Shawn a choice, didn’t really care what he’d had to say on the matter. This was your Baby, and you were gonna have them, no matter what.

And since you’ve made that decision on your own Shawn’s been avoiding you. He leaves really early for workouts, coming home really late from pack meetings, claiming to not have time to come home on his lunch breaks.

You knew he was dealing with his own guilt, his own feelings. But you so badly needed your husband to hold your hand as his child kicked at your ribs, or when they had you craving the weirdest things.

You wanted to give him his space, and you had been. Letting him throw his little tantrum, but today was a different story. Something wasn’t right, you didn’t feel right. You get these huge waves of nausea, followed by a wave of dizziness, and random bouts of pain that were knocking you off your feet.

When you become seriously worried you marched your butt to the pack house just a few blocks away. The bed rest you’ve been put on not stopping you from getting to someone. You stomped in, his old grey sweats hanging off your thick hips, an extra large t shirt stretched tight over your belly.

“Y/n?” Brian jumped up from the couch, where he was lounging on his day off. 

“Where’s Shawn?” You ask, face scrunching in pain, as you lean back, hoping to stretch your back out.

“He’s out on a run,” Teddy speaks up, coming from the kitchen, “Are you okay?”

“No,” You spit out, your side aching in pain, a sharp dull pain. “Something’s not right,” You whine.

Both of the wolves in front of you train their hearing for your baby, trying to see if they’re okay. 

“Well?” You ask, gasping in pain again.

“Okay, Pup’s good.” Teddy speaks up, reaching her arms out to hold your hand. “What’s happening, what hurts?”

You yelp in pain, clutching Teddy’s hand, sinking to the ground in pain. She goes to her knees with you, turning to Brian.

“Shawn’s already on his way, he heard her come in, call an ambulance.” Teddy demands.

“If Shawn’s on the way then why call?” Brian asks.

“Because she’s human, she’s pregnant and I don’t give a fuck what anyone says I’m not risking her or the baby. Call!” 

Brian’s scrambling for his phone as you and Teddy breathe through the pain, her hands on your belly, hoping to soothe your Pup with her traced circles.

Suddenly the door slams open, a heavy breathing Shawn walking through.

“Get your hands off my mate,” He says lowly, eyes a fierce blaze.

Teddy doesn’t move, one from fear, the other knowing you need comfort and that he hasn’t been there to give it to you.

“I said! Get. Your. Hands. Off my mate.” He says again.

“She needs someone she trusts right now.” Teddy shakes her head.

Shawn growls at Teddy, teeth nipping in a warning. 

Teddy’s eyes go wide, jumping back, her wolf submitting to his as he’s her alpha.

“Shawn!” You scold.

He looks to you, growling at you, this time louder and angrier. You gasp, eyebrows raised as you hear the sirens of the ambulance. 

His eyes flash back to his regular hazel brown orbs, coming back to his senses, wanting to crouch down and lift you.

“NO!” You swat him away.

“Babe,” He croaks.

“No, Teddy can get me. You need to calm the fuck down, grow the fuck up and figure your shit out.” You snap at him. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I get it Shawn, this has been rough on you. I understand that, I’ve tried to give you time to come to terms with that. But when you decide to be my husband again, and the father to your unborn child come find me, until then stay here for all I care.” You spit, letting the paramedics take you, answering their questions about your pregnancy and your medical history.

**

Shawn stares at the ambulance as it drives away with you and Teddy inside, he growls lowly, his wolf not happy with his mate leaving.

He turns to rush to his car when he finds Geoff and Brian standing in shock.

“What!” He yells.

“I’ve never seen someone growl at their mate.” Brian mutters, Geoff nodding.

Shawn sighs. “Move,” 

“You growled at her,” 

“I fucking know!” He yells, tugging at his curls, “Fucking move before I move you!” 

**

You wouldn’t let him into the room, and it’s driving him up a wall. He knows he made a mistake, the worst mistake of his life. Mistakes actually. 

He never should have avoided you, he should have talked to you, been there for you, and supported you. This is scary for him, the thought of possibly losing you and your guys’ child. But he can’t even imagine what this might be like for you, and he left you alone when you needed him most. 

He keeps seeing the face you made when he growled at you. It breaks his heart every time he relives the fucking memory. 

He was in shock, seeing and feeling your pain, looking down to see Teddy touching you and soothing, when it should have been him didn’t help his protective nature. 

“Brian,” Shawn stops pacing for the first time in hours. 

Brian’s head shoots up, and he looks to his alpha, who’s completely broken down. 

“Will you go ask Teddy if I might be allowed in the room?” 

“You could go ask,” Brian stands, pointing down the hall.

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, will you go see?” 

Brian nods, looking at Shawn just a second more before he makes his way down the hall, finding room 98 and knocking softly before poking his head through.

“It’s Brian,” He can hear Teddy mutter, you nod and he steps in. 

“Hey, how are you?” He asks, whispering as he steps closer.

“Better, I’m okay.” You answer, looking behind him, disappointed he’s alone. 

“I know I’m probably not the guy you want to see,” Brian nods, “But I was sent to check in, and to ask you a question.” 

“Oh, what is it?” 

“Shawn would like to know if he might be allowed in,” Brian asks with a sad smile. 

Your eyes widen at the thought of big tough alpha Shawn asking permission to do anything. 

“He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if you didn’t want him here, so he asked that I ask. Y/n,” Brian takes your hand. “He’s tearing himself apart out there. The man hasn’t stopped pacing since he sped here after the ambulance, the nurses are worried he’s wanna walk a hole through the floor.” 

“Send him in please,” You nod, then look to Teddy, “I think I need to speak to him alone.” 

Both the wolves nod, stepping out to get Shawn, and within seconds there’s a light tap on the door. “Baby?” 

You look up, finding your disheveled boy still in the hall behind the door, barely peeking in.

“Come here,” You sigh. 

He cautiously steps in, making sure the door shuts behind him. 

He stands far from the bed, eyes red rimmed and puffy, you can tell his breathing is erratic and his poor curls look like they might just fall off if he tugs at them one more time. 

He keeps his gaze down, lips settled in a firm pout.

“Bubba,” You sigh, and his eyes flew to yours, a tear dropping from his long lash. “Shawn,” You whine, since he’s crying and so far away that you can’t comfort him. 

And you can’t tell what bothers you most, that he’s far away physically or emotionally. 

He just stands there staring at you, not saying anything, slowly swaying himself to soothe the anxious feeling coursing through his veins. 

“Shawn,” You say again and his pupils dilate, “Would you come here? How am I supposed to wipe your tears and say I’m sorry for yelling at you if you won’t come closer.” 

He shakes his head, nose scrunching. “Don’t say your sorry.” His voice his gravely, as if he’d been screaming lately. 

“What?” 

“Don’t apologize.” His eyes shut as he takes a deep breath. “I’m the one trying to apologize.” 

“Sha-”

“You’re scared of me,” He whispers, voice cracking. You physically watch him break, you’ve never seen him cry. But right here in front of you, your man, your mate, is frowning so hard that it’s overtaken his face, and he’s curled in on himself to protect from his own feelings. 

“I am not,” You sternly answer. 

“I can’t get the look on your face out of my head.” He shakes his head, bringing his hands up to hide himself.

You’ve had enough, not being able to comfort him as he’s being so vulnerable with you, with the pack just right outside. 

You grave the IV cart and climb out of bed, pulling the equipment with you, planting yourself in front of him, reaching up to pull his hands away from his face.

The second you touch him he jumps, eyes wide when he sees you in front of him, “What are you doing? Why are you out of bed? You’re hurt? Get back! What the fuck?” 

“You wouldn’t fucking come to me! So here I am for you. I’m not hurt, I was overly stressed and it caused the baby to become stressed and gave me a glimpse at pre-labor.” 

“What?” Shawn breathes. “Labor?” 

“No, pre, as in practice, as in a warning that if I don’t chill out then our baby could be born earlier than we’ve already agreed on for other health reasons.” 

Shawn’s pale, but he’s holding your hand so he’s breathing slower, feeling a little lighter.

“You need to sit,” He says, knowing that you were on bed rest for a reason. 

He bends slightly, slipping his arm under your knees, and the other around your back to hoist you up and walk you back to the bed. 

“Sit with me,” You catch his wrist as he starts to stand straight again. 

“Are you sure? You want me to?” 

“Shawn, whatever you’re thinking, don’t. I’m not scared of you, I’m not disgusted with you. I’m frustrated with how you’ve acted lately, but I’m not angry, about today or anything.” 

“You should be, I growled at you,” He looks away again.

“Look at me,” You grab his chin, making him look you in the eye. “I married a werewolf, right?” He nods twice. “I let a werewolf knock me up?” He nods again. “Knowing the child would be a werewolf too?” Another nod. “Entertaining the thought of starting our own pack?” 

“Yeah,” There’s a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Did you really think I thought I wasn’t gonna get growled at?” 

His eyes drop again. “But it shouldn’t have been me. No one has ever growled at a mate.” 

You tap his chin, “But what did it do? Nothing. I don’t love you less, I don’t care less. I’m still right here, my heartbeat in sync with yours. You’re still mine, I’m still yours, everyone knows now that in dire times that it needs to be you supporting me and not anyone else, and that’s understandable for mates.”

“Don’t make this okay,” He shakes his head, ready to say more.

“Stop,” You cover his mouth. “You’re gonna beat yourself up, you already are, but you need to know, that I’m okay. It’s been a stressful 6 months, and it’s gonna be another stressful 2. But we need to start communicating again.” 

“You’re my priority,” He nods quickly, “You both are.” 

You smile, deciding that you wanted to tell him. “Your girl,” You rub your belly. But he doesn’t get it. 

“Yeah, you’re my girl.” 

“No Bubba,” You giggle, “She’s your girl.” 

His eyes go wide as his hands fly to your belly. “My girl?” 

“Your girl.”

“My girls!” He smiles, sniffing away more tears and leaning in to kiss you. He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “I’m sorry I growled at you.”

“St-”

“And I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I’m so scared, that I’m gonna lose you. Or both of you. I can’t have that happen, I can’t. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I did that.” 

“Shawn, we both did. It takes two, but I made the decision, I want babies with you.” 

“I want all the babies with you, but if it’s gonna put your life in danger?” He shakes his head. 

“We’re gonna make sure it won’t,” You whisper, pecking his lips. “I trust you to make sure it won’t.” 

“I promise you it won’t.” 

“We made her, Shawn.” You smile.

“We made her.” He grins.

//**//

This has been sitting in my drafts for months, and I just decided to finish it tonight. It’s shitty, but it was requested so here you go. Hope you enjoy.  (Lowkey thought about maybe doing more blurbs based on this little family???)

[supertmntgirl]

Angel Dust x Fem!Reader Ch.4

Fuck this took forever to do. Just one thing before the chapter. Since school has just started again, I most likely won’t be able to post chapters as regularly as I sorta have been doing. I’ll do my best to post chapters on the regular, but if I don’t, school is the reason why. Anyway, onto the chapter.

Summary: After feeling guilty for the first time in forever, Angel Dust was determined to make things right between you and him.  In doing so, you two end up closer than you were before.

~~~~Angel’s POV~~~~

As Angel made his way towards your apartment, it started to pour down rain, which made him more determined to make it to his destination. By the time he makes it to your building, he is completely soaked. Walking into the main lobby, Angel shakes most of the water off his body, causing his fur to fluff up. Angel could only imagine how much of a hot mess he looked like right now. But he didn’t have time to fix his appearance, he needed to make things right with you now. Angel races over to the stairs and takes them two at a time up to your floor. Arriving at the 5th floor, Angel tries to catch his breath as he slowly walks to your door. As he stood in front of the door, he felt so much worry and doubt flow through his body.

‘What if this is a bad idea? What if she doesn’t forgive me? Why did I come now?’ These and so many more questions rushed through Angel’s head as he tried to figure out what to do. Before he could stop himself, he knocked on the door. He saw the light turn on through the cracks and heard a few shuffles before your voice called out.

“Go away Angel!”

He starts to tremble, feeling his nerves and the cold start to get the better of him.

“(Y/n) I know you’re mad at me, but we need to talk.”

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” you shout as Angel heard you lock the door.

“You don’t have to talk to me. You don’t even have to look at me. Just please listen.” Angel pleads as he hears more shuffle noises from inside your apartment.

“Don’t make me call the super!” you threaten, causing Angel to start panicking.

“(Y/N) I’M SORRY!” he yells out, making it feel like time completely stopped. Angel’s shout seemed to reverberate in the empty hallway, making him feel even more isolated than he already felt. A few seconds pass by and you haven’t responded, which gives him the motivation to continue.

“I’m sorry for everything. Breaking into your apartment, making you fall,….everything.” Angel pauses as he heard you walk back over to your door. He waits for you to say something. Hearing nothing, he takes a breath before continuing.

“When I said that “it’s not a big deal”. I wasn’t talking about everything that had happened to you. Obviously that is a big deal.”

He hears a light thud on the other side of the door, making him think that you were now resting against the door.

“What I meant was that it doesn’t matter to me whether or not you’re transgender. You’re my best friend and I….” Angel pauses, trying to put all his thoughts and feelings into words. Sighing in frustration, Angel leans his back against the door.

“I’ve never had this kind of….connection with someone before. Besides my sister but even that is different than whatever….this is.” Angel runs his fingers through his damp hair, feeling his heart rate increase. He turns so that he’s leaning on his side and rests a hand on the door right next to the handle.

“If you were anyone else, I would just forget  about you and move on. But something is telling me if I do that, I would end up regretting it. I don’t know why I feel this way, I just do.” He then turns so that he’s facing the door again. Letting out a sad sigh, Angel rests his forehead on the door.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you and I hope you can forgive me. I don’t wanna lose you….” Angel whispers the last part, partially hoping that you couldn’t hear it. Not aware that you did.

~~~~Your POV~~~~

You stood there, frozen in place with your ear pressed against the door. If you hadn’t seen Angel Dust through your peep hole, you’d think that someone else was on the other side. Never in a million years did you think that Angel would share his feelings like that. Whatever anger you previously felt was almost completely gone. His last words hit you the hardest, almost making you cry. If you were being honest, you didn’t want to lose Angel either. You hadn’t felt more connected to anyone than you did with him. Even though he hurt you pretty badly, you still wanted him in your life, well death.

A minute or two of silence passes by as you considered what to do. You let out a shaky sigh before unlocking your door and opening it. If the current situation wasn’t so serious, you would’ve chuckled at his current appearance.

Angel was completely soaked from head to toe. His suit jacket and shorts grasped tightly to his form as water dripped every so often from his limbs. Looking up at his face, you noticed that his running make up seemed to dye his fur slightly. Giving his face some unnatural tints of pink and black. His hair and chest fluff drooped slightly from the rain water. Angel Dust gave you a look of hope mixed with fear as he waited for you to say something.

“I-I didn’t know you had a sister….” was the first thing to come out of your mouth, causing Angel to chuckle slightly.

“Well you never asked….” he replies, causing you to give him an amused smile.

“You look cold.” you comment, which made Angel shiver and wrap his arms around himself tightly.

“I’m fucking freezing….”

You frown slightly before taking his hand and leading him inside. “Let’s get you into something dry before you get sick.”

After closing and locking the door, you take Angel into the bathroom.

“You can dry off in here while I find something you can wear.” you say while handing him a dry towel from the closet nearby.

“Do you have any make up remover?”

You look up at him to find him looking in the mirror while messing with his ruined make up. Chuckling, you point to a cabinet right under the sink.

“There should be some wipes down there.”

Angel bends down, opens the cabinet, and rummages through it.

“Found it” he announces while holding up the palm sized package.

“I’ll get you some clothes” you inform him while walking out of the bathroom. 

You make your way to your closet, trying to figure out what to give him. You didn’t really think you were bigger than the average demon girl. But since Angel was practically a walking stick, anything you gave him would be huge on him. Thinking that he would still be cold, you ended up deciding on a blush pink sweater with matching fleece shorts. Gathering the soft clothing in your arms, you slowly walk back over to the bathroom. Even though the door was wide open, you still knocked. After hearing a soft “come in”, you enter the bathroom. You end up freezing in the doorway, feeling your cheeks starting to burn up.

All of Angel’s clothes and shoes were in a soggy pile on the floor, leaving him in only a towel wrapped around his waist. He was busy cleaning his face, so he didn’t notice you staring. Your gaze was drawn to the patterns on his arms and chest. They were the same color as his markings on his head and legs. You were most interested in the heart shaped mark on his chest, thinking it was cute and kinda sexy. You had seen him naked a few times while working on some of the movies he’d been in recently. But it was nothing compared to seeing it in person. You look up to his face as your blush darken slightly. This was the first time you saw him without make up on, it was damn near breathtaking. He almost looked….innocent. It was a weird way to put it, but it seemed right. Though the thought of him being innocent was enough to make you chuckle. Your chuckle was enough to make Angel look at you. He smirks slightly, making you look down at the floor.

“See something ya like?~” he asks while throwing away the wipe he was using. You clear your throat and set the clothes on the counter. 

“You could’ve at least put your clothes in the shower.” you mumble while bending over and gathering the pile into your arms. As you started to stand back up again, you saw something that made you freeze again. You’ve never seen Angel wearing boots any lower than his knees, let alone barefoot. Seeing his bare feet was another thing that you never thought would happen. Though, calling them feet wasn’t exactly the correct term. There were only two toes on each foot and they were bigger than the average human toe. The correct term would appear to be paws, little baby pink ones to be exact.

“Awww.” you half whisper, half giggle, causing Angel to look down at you.

“Stoplookingatmyfeet!” he says quickly while shuffling a bit. You look up at him and see a small blush form on his face.

“So that’s why you never take your shoes off for movies.” you say while taking Angel’s wet clothes to the shower. 

“Most demons might get distracted from your cute wittle paws.” you continue in a baby voice, causing Angel to sigh behind you. As you finished hanging his jacket, you noticed the burn mark on one of his sleeves, reminding you of your earlier argument. You feel your heart rate increase as you lightly took the burnt fabric in-between your fingertips.

“(Y/n) you may not get this sweater back. It’s so soft!” Angel exclaims while turning towards you, his face falling as he saw you looking at his suit. Angel gently places a hand on your shoulder, causing you to look at him with teary eyes.

“(Y/n)….I really am sorry. I didn’t-“ he starts before you cut him off.

“I forgive you.” you say quickly while wiping your eyes before any tears fell. Angel was about to say something else when you left the bathroom in a hurry.

“Since it’s pouring out there you may not want to go home tonight.” you say while going over to your bedroom and grabbing a pillow and some blankets. Angel walks out of the bathroom just in time to see you come back into the living room.

“(Y/n)” Angel tries to get your attention, but you ignore him.

“It’s not the most comfortable couch, but it’ll do for tonight.” you stop next to the couch and start to make it up for him.

“(Y/n)!” Angel raises his voice, causing you to look up at him. The air felt tense as silence started to settle between you two. You focus your attention back on the couch as Angel lets out a shaky sigh.

“It’s ok if you’re still mad, I would be too.” Angel says, but you don’t look up at him. He walks to you and grabs your hand. You shoot him a confused look, but he continues.

“I apologized and even told you some things I’ve never told anyone, even Cherri Bomb. But I know that something like this can’t be fixed just by apologizing.” 

You stay silent as you look down at your hand still in Angel’s grasp.

“What can I do to make you forgive me? For real?” Angel asks while squeezing your hand, making you squeeze his back.

“I do forgive you, really. It’s just….” you stopped, feeling the words getting caught in your chest. Angel lets go of your hand and wraps an arm around you, causing you to instinctively rest your head on his shoulder.

“I’ve been in hell for almost two decades now and only two demons know my story….” you start again, feeling the tears from before starting to come back.

“Vix and Chad.” Angel mumbles, saying Chad’s name in disgust. You nod your head, confirming his statement.

“With them it took nearly all my time here to trust them enough to tell them. Obviously I wasn’t able to trust one of them.” 

You pull away from Angel and plop down on the couch. Angel sits down next to you as you lift your legs onto the couch and pull them to your chest.

“I was planning on telling you I’m transgender. But I wasn’t sure whether or not I should tell you everything.” you say as your voice started to shake, feeling the tears starting to fall.

“E-even though y-you’re like my best friend a-and I’ve never felt m-more connected to anyone. I-I b-barely know you a-and I d-don’t w-want what happened w-with Chad t-to happen with you….I-I….” 

You tried to continue, but you were crying too hard to get the words out. Angel gently shushed you while pulling you into his lap and wrapping all his arms around you. You buried your face into his shoulder while grabbing onto him tightly. 

“It’s ok, that’ll never happen….” he mumbles while gently rubbing your back to help you calm down.

“I-I don’t w-wanna lose you….” you mumble while hugging Angel tighter, almost afraid that he might disappear if you let go. You feel Angel’s top arms start to loosen up while the lower pair stayed put. His hands gently grab the sides of your face, guiding your head upward so you were looking at him.

“First of all, I am not him. I am not some douche bag who only stayed with you to get in your pants….” he started while using his thumbs to dry away some of your tears.

“You offered to fuck me when we first met.” you point out, causing him to chuckle at the memory.

“That was different, it’s my job to fuck and I was trying to get a quick cash grab.” Angel replies, making you roll your eyes.

“Second of all, I would never run away just because you were different. That’s not your fault, it’s just who you are. And that is nothing to be ashamed of. You had the courage to go through what I’m sure was a life of pain and ridicule just so you could be happy. Sure, you weren’t able to complete the transition before you died. But you’re still able to go out and be the person you always wanted to be. And that requires the kind of strength that most people wish they had. Which basically makes you one of the strongest people I know.” 

As Angel Dust is talking, you began to tear up again. Not because you were still sad. But because no one had ever said anything like that to you, not even when you were alive. You couldn’t help but look into his eyes as Angel continued.

“Third of all, your life is exactly that, your’s. Whether or not you decide to tell me about it is completely up to you. I won’t push you or force you if you don’t want to. But if you do end up wanting to tell me, I will be here to listen. You can tell me as much or as little as you want, I will listen without judgement.” 

You give Angel a small smile as you rest your hands on his shoulders. A few minutes pass as you let everything he said sink in.

“You won’t judge?” you ask in a small voice. Angel smiles and give you a nod.

“I won’t judge. And if you want, I can tell you about my life. To be fair and all.”

You chuckle softly while snuggling back into his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to, but thank you for the offer.” you say as Angel Dust wraps his arms around you again and just holds you. 

The two of you sit there in silence while listening to the rain outside. The sound of the pitter patter against your window mixed with the warmth and softness of Angel’s body made you extremely tired. You probably would’ve been less tired if you hadn’t been crying a river earlier. You were on the verge of falling asleep as you felt Angel start to move. 

“What are you doing?” you ask groggily as Angel moves so that he is laying down.

“I don’t want to sleep sitting up. My back would get recked and I gotta work tomorrow.” he answers while adjusting you so that you’re more comfortable. 

“I’m not sleeping on the couch. I do have a bed.” you say while trying to stand up, but Angel’s grip made it hard to move.

“Ok fine.”

Angel then moves around a bit before standing up and carrying you to your bedroom bridal style. He goes to your bed and pulls the covers back. As he sets you down, you whimper slightly at the loss of warmth. You were about to get comfortable again when Angel starts to climb into bed.

“What are you doing?” you squeak in surprise as Angel lays down and pulls the blankets over you both.

“What does it look like I’m doin? I’m going to bed.” he replies while scooting over so that he was right next to you. You were about to kick him out when he wrapped an arm around you. You let out an involuntary sigh as you snuggle back into Angel’s warmth. As soon as you do, Angel wraps the rest of his arms around you and holds you like he did on the couch. Getting comfortable once again, you start to fall asleep. You were vaguely aware of Angel kissing the top of your head and whispering a soft “good night” in your ear before slipping into a comfortable sleep.

@hazbintrashftw

[jimlingss]

Jungle Park [12]

Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13

➜ Words: 5.9k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

Sometimes it feels like you’re walking backwards.   There are things you left behind, precious things that you let go of because you needed to. Like childhood toys or putting a layer of glue on your hand to peel it off when it dried or thinking getting a perm from your dad’s barber was a good idea (it wasn’t). Granted, these things aren’t exactly precious to you, but they’ve become fond memories — yet you let go of them for your own well being.   And lately, it feels like you’re regressing.   You swear you’re supposed to be an adult by now who has their life put together. Your old friends have all gotten married, produced a town of pudgy babies, well-established into their careers and comfortable in their lives. And you’re standing on the curb of the road, stranded.   Except, when a familiar car pulls up, you’re not regressing anymore….you’re hurled back into the past.   “Y/N?”   He rolls down his car window, calling out to you and your feet stop along the sidewalk. Your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets and you whip your head over with furrowed brows. “Hoseok?”   “What are you doing?” He grins in amusement despite your exasperation and surprise.   “I was walking back to my apartment.” Your feet are throbbing in your heels and you feel your blouse stick to your sweaty skin. “What are you doing?”   “I was going to pick you up and I saw you.” He leans over the console, barely opening the passenger door with the edge of his fingertips and then he motions. “Get in.”   “I called Jimin and told him I was going to be late,” you ramble as you slide yourself into the seat, shutting the door and securing the seat belt over your torso. “How did you…?”   “Jimin called me and told me to come pick you up.”   Oh. So it was all of Jimin’s doing.   You’ve always believed your legs could take you anywhere that you wanted to go. You backed out of situations, moved ahead, left things behind. Hoseok was afraid of things like spiders and mosquitoes and roller coasters and heights; you were afraid of something much more different.   And it’s now that you realize, you could never run away from him.   Between the two of you…...you were the true coward.   “I can’t believe the subway shut down during rush hour.” You’re spewing out the words in a frenzy, trying to explain your situation to avoid him getting upset. “Apparently, something happened at the station and the station before mine and there are major delays. I couldn’t even grab a taxi or—”   “I know,” is all he says. And he speaks in the most gentle way, even glancing at you with a soft smile as if trying to tell you that he’s not bothered or annoyed in the least bit. “I was stuck in traffic for a long time. Thankfully I have hawk eyes and noticed you. Saved you from having to walk back. What were you planning if I didn’t come get you?”   “I honestly don’t know.”   Hoseok grips the steering wheel loosely and slides his hands down as he makes a right turn. “Well, I’m not letting any of my employees take a sick day when they don’t have to.” His eyes slightly crinkle with the sweet smile, smooth timbre completely nonchalant. “We’ll get to work on time.”   “Wasn’t this inconvenient for you? My apartment is in the opposite direction from yours, right?”   “I don’t mind.” The lawyer shrugs and you feel at ease enough to lean back in the seat, glancing out at the windows and morning traffic that flows by.   “I wonder why Jimin didn’t call Seulgi...or Jungkook. They live closer to me,” you mutter, talking to yourself more than to the driver beside you. “Actually, now that I think about it, I should’ve called Jungkook and asked to carpool with him. Maybe I’ll talk to him about it and he can drive me back in case there are still problems.”   “I can actually drive you,” Hoseok suddenly pipes up loudly and nearly scares you to death. When he feels your burning stare on the side of his face, he clears his throat and explains himself, “back home I mean.”   You blink twice. “Are you sure?”   “Yeah, I’m actually heading to my parent’s house after work for dinner. It’s my mom’s birthday.”   “Oh. Tell her I said happy birthday.”   “Sure.” He laughs and then steals yet another glimpse of your profile before turning back to the road. “I’ll tell her one of my HR employees wished her a happy birthday. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”   “I’m not just an HR employee,” you sing-song while quirking your head to your shoulder.   “You’re right. My apologies.” The apples of his cheeks ache from his grin. “You’re the HR department head.”   “That’s right.” You nod firmly. “I run the entire department.”   “But you have no one working under you to manage and there’s only thirteen people in the office.”   “Then maybe you should change that,” you quip and he stops momentarily at a red light. “How about hiring a human resource advisor or assistant?”   “No thanks,” he giggles out and he feigns a serious expression that exudes more mischief than anything. “I already have my hands full with one HR member. I don’t need two. Plus, it’s a waste of resources.”   You’re infected by his theatrics and you spill a dramatic gasp from your lungs. “Are you implying that I’m a waste of resources?”   He ignores you. “And I can already imagine two of you ganging up on me.”   “We would never gang up on you.” You bat your lashes even when he’s paying attention to the road in front of him. “Me and this hypothetical HR advisor.”   “You’d get me to throw more parties.”   “Which does great for office morale!”   “And you’d want to redecorate the entire office.”   “Which makes it better for clients too,” you counter without missing a single beat, having too much fun bantering back and forth with him. It comes too easily for you.   The corner of his lips are pulling again. “You’d talk me into increasing everyone’s pay until I’d go bankrupt.”   “Sometimes it can be financially responsible to declare bankruptcy!”   Jung Hoseok laughs at your logic, the chirpy noise bubbling from his throat, drowning out the quiet radio in the back. “You’d probably convince more people to leave this firm.”   “I just support people following their passions,” you argue with him, snickering between every other word.   “And you both would also hire a hundred people that we don’t need.”   “Don’t you want to increase the size of your firm?”   “You’re on my mind all the time. If there’s both of you, I wouldn’t be able to work at all.” He doesn’t realize what he’s saying as he looks over his shoulder and merges into the next lane, taking a left turn. Jung Hoseok doesn’t think about the words that fall from his lips, letting his thoughts stream out without a filter.   And you’re left suffering the repercussions, breath held in your body, heart stuttering for a simple moment before you smile. “I can’t help you with that.”   “Sadly no.” He laughs and continues on, still without realizing the weight of his words that were spoken so carelessly. “Never in my life will I hire another HR assistant, representative, advisor, or person in my life.”   “Unless…”   “Unless?” �� Your volume drops quietly like you’re treading in dangerous territory. “Unless Jimin tells you to.”   There’s an extended silence and Hoseok pulls into the parking lot of work, looking for his space that’s reserved right in front. “If I find out you went and told him to hire another HR rep, we’re going to run into issues, Miss. Y/N.”   “Is that a threat, Mr. Jung?”   He shifts the gear into park and pulls the keys out of the ignition, finally turning to face you. “If you tried to sue me, I’d win.”   “We’ll see about that.” You giggle one more time before patting his head once patronizingly, deciding to playfully threaten him. “Better treat me nicely or else I’ll go running off to hire another person for HR.” He scoffs, watching you get out of the car. “I do treat you nicely!”   And you’d have to agree with that. These days, Jung Hoseok treats you too kindly that it’s painful.   //   Some people in this world might argue that your job is terribly boring and mundane. On a day to day basis, you don’t have a lot of duties to attend to. Your door is always open to complaints and concerns. You also organize employee health benefits and in your free time, you’re still writing that staff handbook Hoseok assigned to you months ago. It’s true that there’s not a lot to do and you’re not too busy, but you like to argue that your job can be quite exciting.   Especially since you take on secret tasks.   You’re like an undercover agent…...not really, but it’s the idea that counts.   Ever since you’ve come back from the business trip, you’ve made it your new mission for people of the office to see Hoseok for how he truly is. Sure, he’s serious and passionate about his work, but those are good traits. There just isn’t a single bad bone in his body. He’s the least intimidating person on the planet and it just boggles your mind how people are fearful of him and they talk badly about him like it’s natural. He’s the epitome of the sun, the most outgoing and friendly person that you know, bubbly and boisterous and optimistic.   It’s unfair to see him mistreated and misunderstood to this extent.   But when you openly defend him, the others think you’re sucking up to the boss. It also doesn’t help that he always rejects your invitation to have lunch with the others. His head is always buried in work and he has some place to be. He only talks to Jimin and occasionally, Yoongi.   Of course, you couldn’t actually bring this to his attention. Hoseok would tell you that he doesn’t care what the people of the firm think of him as long as they do their job. He would say that they need to take him seriously and he’s showing his professional side for a reason. He would tell you to stop wasting your time.   You’d beg to differ.   But nonetheless, Jung Hoseok is making your job a lot more difficult than it needs to be.   “Why are you glaring at me?”   You turn your head away with a sigh, securing your hand around the strap of your bag. “I don’t know. There’s a lot of reasons. Where should I start?”   “Do they have anything to do with me?” He’s grinning brightly, the elevator empty except for you two and you’re wondering why he can’t show his chatty self to the others.   “All of them have to do with you.”   “Well, if you have a complaint, you should fill out a form and then hand the official document to me,” he teases, much to your dismay.   The workday was over and while you feel like you haven’t made any real progress with your top secret assignment, you know it won’t be easy and will require a lot of effort for many days to come. Changing opinions isn’t simple. Still, shuffling a millimeter forward is still moving.   “Are you sure you’re okay with dropping me off?”   “Yes.” He smiles and when his phone begins ringing, his hand drops into his blazer pocket, picking out the mobile device. “I told you it’s not a big deal,” he mutters while reading the caller ID and accepting the call. “Hello? Oh. What?” There’s a long pause. “What? Why can’t you?”   You both exit the building, making your way to the parking lot and towards his parked vehicle. Hoseok seems visibly distressed and he groans, whining in a high-pitched voice. “I don’t even know where that is and I don’t have the receipt for it either. Text me? Fine, fine. I get it. See you later. Bye.”   He hangs up and sighs as you both slide into your respective seats. “Who was that?” you ask, but trying not to pry since it seemed like a personal issue.   “It was just my sister.” He fiddles with his phone, opening up his texts. “She wants me to pick up my mom’s ice-cream cake.” There’s a ding and your eyes accidentally stray off, reading his screen before you can stop yourself.   “Oh. I know where that is.”   “You do?” His eyes lift, surprised, and you nod.   It’s a bakery that you applied to before going to Jung and Park — though you don't reveal that to him. “It’s on the way to my apartment. I can show you and we can make a stop.”   “Is that alright with you?”   “I don’t mind.” You smile. “It’s the least I can do since you’re driving me home, right?”   “Well, I was going to ask you to help pay for gas,” he quips in a playful tone and puts the keys into the ignition while you laugh, putting on your seat belt. “But I guess this will just have to do.”   You show him the way to the bakery and luckily, none of the workers remember that you came in here months ago to beg for a position. The ten inch ice-cream cake is picked up successfully when Hoseok shows a picture of the receipt that his sister took and you hold it in your lap to make sure it doesn’t become destroyed before it gets to its final destination.   “Thanks for showing me. I’m not that great at following GPS.” Hoseok turns to merge on the highway. “I won’t make you run any more of my errands though. I’ll drop you off.”   “It’s not a problem.” You nod, watching the cars outside. “And thanks.”   But once you make it to the highway, the traffic is absolutely absurd. There are drivers honking and swearing at each other through their windows, shooting the middle finger left and right. The car is barely moving forward, only inch by inch. The entire highway is backed up and what should take two minutes ends up as twenty of just sitting there.   “Goddamn.” Hoseok grips the steering wheel tightly, a sigh ripping from his throat as he leans back into the leather seat. “Rush hour shouldn’t be this bad.”   “Maybe there was an accident up ahead. I think I see police cars.” You dig for your phone, pulling it out and scrolling through the news before searching up your location. “Yeah, there was an accident about an hour ago.”   The lawyer glances at you. “Sorry.”   “No, it’s not really that big of a deal. I don’t mind.” And you really didn’t. There was nothing to do this evening since it was one of your days off from driving the taxi. Regardless even if you were busy, it’s nice to be stuck in traffic with his presence than wallow at home alone by yourself. “I’m just more worried about the cake.”   “The cake?”   “It’s melting.” You point down to your lap and he looks over, peeking through the clear plastic top while another sigh leaves his mouth.   “I don’t know why she thought getting ice-cream would be a good idea.” Hoseok fidgets in his seat and looks out the window. It’s quiet for a long moment and you hesitate, a thought popping into your mind and you swallow hard—   “Do you want to just go to your parent’s house?”   “What?”   “I mean you’re going to have to exit the highway to get to my apartment and get back on to your parent’s, right?” There’s a pause. “That’ll take...two hours at this rate. And I don’t think the ice-cream cake can make it.”   “I’m not just going to drop you off in the middle of the highway, Y/N.” He lolls his head to the side, a single arm extended to hold the steering wheel while his other hand is in his lap. He doesn’t even consider your idea for a second. “That’s ridiculous.”   “It’s okay,” you tell him genuinely. “There aren't any cars moving. I can just get out and walk to the side.”   “And then go where? Where will you go?” The man beside you is becoming increasingly frustrated and he inhales a lungful to contain his composure as he glances at you. “Do you want to just come with me?”   “Come with you?” You only manage to respond after a delayed moment, sirens blaring inside of your mind and telling you that you’re obviously overstepping your boundaries.   “Yeah.” Hoseok nods and the more he thinks about it, the more he thinks it’s a good idea. The car moves up another inch and the other vehicles around fire up their engines after turning it off entirely to save gas. “My parents wouldn’t mind. They love guests. They always say ‘the more, the merrier’. I don’t think my sister would mind either.”   “Isn’t that….weird?” Your brows are raised and your mouth is parted, dumbfounded. “I mean you’re my boss and I’m just an employee.”   “It’s not that weird.” He smiles and shifts to face you. “You’re just meeting your boss’ parents. If anything, it should give you a leg up everyone else, right? Maybe they’ll like you so much, they’ll make me give you another raise.”   You laugh. “I thought cronyism was bad.”   “It’s not cronyism. It’s favouritism,” he corrects and gives a cheeky grin. “And no one else has to know. It’ll be a secret between the both of us.”   “....I don’t know.” You grip the cold box tighter in your hands, hesitating and wondering what the consequences might be.   “Well, I’m not dropping you off the middle of the highway, that’s for sure. I’d rather let the cake melt and be ruined,” he states firmly. After a beat, he softens and as if it helps, he adds, “They’ll be food...and if you like dogs, there’s a family pet dog too. Mickey’s really friendly.”   Your tongue peeks to lick your lips, throat feeling dry and cracked. Your head manages a slight nod that he catches. “Okay….if it’s fine with you…”   “It’s a plan then!” he announces happily, pout turned to smile. In the following ten minutes, the car stays on the lane, passing the exit that would lead you home to safety and you know there’s no going back.   //   The traffic doesn’t ease up until you’ve moved past the accident, a three car rear-end collision. Luckily it seems like all passengers are safe and healthy enough to argue with each other much to the police officers’ annoyance. But the road becomes clear after that, cars moving faster and straight towards your impending doom.   This is one of the many moments where you’re thinking: How the hell did I get here? And you consider making an actual list and see how many times these moments actually occur.   This is a bad idea. A very bad idea.   “You don’t have to be so nervous,” he says while turning down the street into a more suburban area.   “I’m not,” you murmur. The box on your lap is probably dented by your sweaty grip.   “You’re quiet.”   “Because I’m a bit tired, that’s all.”   “You don’t have to lie to me, you know. You don’t have to pretend either.” He pulls up on the street and shifts the gear into park, another car already occupying the driveway. Hoseok cranes his head to look at you properly. “Just come in and if you want to leave after a minute, I can drive you back home.”   “That’s….”   “Trust me, my parents are really nice.” He takes off his seat belt and opens the door. “A bit too nice if you ask me.”   The bad thing is that...you know. You know how nice they are.   The man takes the cake from your hands, holding the box and he walks up to the house, ringing the doorbell without hesitation. Immediately, the sound chimes and a dog barks inside. There’s the sound of padding footsteps and shouts. But before you can back away and let your instincts book you down the street, the door swings open.   “About time you came.” His sister, Sowon, is radiant as usual. Her long hair drapes behind her shoulders and she looks comfortable in her lounge clothes, shorts and a simple tee-shirt. Her eyes stray off to the person beside her brother. Her mouth drops. “Y/N?”   “Wait.” He does a double take on you two. “You know each other?”   “Seok, you came?” A middle-aged woman comes trotting out of the kitchen with a tea towel to wipe her damp hands. She languidly glances at her daughter, her son, before her eyes land on yours.   Her mouth opens and she drops the towel.   Your gaze locks on her for the longest of seconds.   “What’s wrong?” His father emerges from the kitchen as well, frowning at the unusual silence of the house. And when he sees you, he stops in his tracks too.   The entire Jung family is staring at you, like they can’t believe their eyes.   “Um…” You’re the first to break the silence, bowing your head and bending your waist down. “Hello.”   “Come in, come in.” Sowon smiles, widening the door and helping by taking your coat as you slip off your shoes. Hoseok follows, still unable to read the situation of the room and he’s never been more confused in his entire life.   “Wh-what…” Hoseok’s mother begins to cry. She breaks down in the middle of the living room and he freezes in his spot, his sister halts too. The older woman is sobbing into her palms and she takes three strides before engulfing you in the biggest of hugs, arms wrapping around your body. His dad approaches as well and squeezes your shoulder in a welcoming manner.   “How are you?” She pulls away and wipes her face with the back of her wrinkled hand before cradling yours. She gazes at you closely and searches your features, a smile spreading through her cheeks. “I never thought I’d see you again. Oh my god. Am I in heaven right now?”   The Jung family has always had a knack for being overdramatic, and you can’t help but giggle. You can’t remember the last time you received love like this and your heart feels warm. “I’m good...how have you been?”   “Good, good. Better now that you’re here.”   Hoseok’s brain is about to implode and he puts a stop to this madness. “What’s going on?” His frown is deep and he glances at you. “You know my parents?”   His mother’s brows furrow as well and she shakes her head, arms falling to her side. “You don’t remember?”   “We were friends,” you say to him. “I told you before, remember? We were friends like ten years ago. A long, long time ago.” Your feet spin around and you look at his parents in urgency. “I’m working for Hoseok now.”   “You are?”   “Yes, I work in the HR department.”   “Oh.” His dad nods. “I see.”   “Well,” his older sister pipes up. “What’s in the past is in the past, right, mom? We shouldn’t just stand around. Isn’t the cake melting?” She takes the box from Hoseok’s arms and marches past the crowd into the kitchen.   “Right, right.” The endearing middle-aged woman takes you by your hand, smiling once more. She doesn’t care about how you’re here or why, just the fact that you are. No questions are asked and you muse how similar her personality is to her son’s. They’re both warm and kind-hearted, but with a sort of authoritative air to them that’s admirable. “Have you been eating well? You look like you haven’t. Come, there’s food in the kitchen.”   “I’m sorry for not bringing you a present. Had I known…”   “Don’t be ridiculous.” She laughs and waves you off, dismissing the idea. “You being here is enough of a gift for me.”   “I made the noodles,” his dad announces, laughing, and not wanting his wife to take credit. “Want to have a bowl?���   “I’d love to.”   While Hoseok’s personality is similar to his mom’s, his appearance is strikingly akin to his dad’s. Both males have dark hair and are tall and lean. They have smiles identical to one another, the way their eyes crinkle and their lips spread into a slight heart shape. You wonder if this is what the older version of Hoseok would look like, just a few wrinkles here and there from grinning so much.   “Get that out of here.” The woman whips a dish towel at her husband. “Y/N is going to eat my soup first. I bought the ingredients fresh from the store and cooked it this morning.”   “It’s salty,” the older man chimes playfully.   “It isn’t! He’s lying!” She defends and you laugh with his dad.   Meanwhile, Hoseok is still left reeling in the darkness of the foyer. He sets his belongings down and strips off his coat, throwing it on the couch and walking into the house that he doesn’t recognize. It’s too odd and foreign to him, to see you here talking to his parents like you visit more than he does. It feels like he just transported into another dimension, another world.   He pulls his sister aside and she glares. “What?”   “How do you know Y/N?” He asks her with the utmost seriousness, not playing any games as an impassive yet stern expression washes across his features.   “Didn’t she say?” His sister matches his blank expression. “You guys were friends.”   “How close were we that mom and dad knows and likes her so much?”   Sowon shrugs. “Beats me. I don’t know you or your friends.”   “Why don’t I remember anything?” He holds his head in his hands, racking his memories, but coming up with nothing. It’s as if he’s trying to remember things when he was younger than two years old — he just can’t conjure any memory or even make something up.   She sighs. “That…....I don’t know.”   Mickey is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, a very fancy name for such a sheepish and affectionate little thing that walks by with stumpy legs, stumbling as if he were drunk. Still, your heart melts and he smells you before circling around once and putting his paws up to get closer. You squat down, petting and scratching behind his ear, laughing when he tries to lick your face and you have to lean backwards. “I missed you, buddy. You’re such a good boy, aren’t you? I’m glad to see you’re doing well! Who’s the cutest in the world?”   “Y/N.” Hoseok stands at the doorway, serious and interrupting your coos towards the pet. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”   You stand, but Hoseok’s mother turns from the kitchen island and steps in front of you like a personal body shield. “About what? Aren’t office hours over? You’re not her boss anymore. She’s your guest!”   Sowon is sitting at the kitchen table, one leg propped up and casually popping walnuts into her mouth. “He thinks he’s a hot shot lawyer now and can just order people around.”   His dad also chips in to the banter, “Leave the work for work and come relax, Seok. You’re going to burn yourself out.”   “He's already burnt himself out and these ashes are what's left of him,” Sowon feigns grief, but mischief twinkles in her eyes and she’s having too much fun teasing her younger brother and making a fool out of him. Anything that was ever intimidating and domineering about Hoseok gets reduced to nothing when he’s treated like the baby of the family.   “This is serious,” he groans. “Y/N.”   His dad ignores his plea and brings his noodles to the table, separating them into two bowls. “Let her eat.” He gives you a bowl. “Tell me what you think, okay?”   “It’ll only take a second,” the lawyer reasons.   “If you have something to say to Y/N, say it to all of us,” his sister states and it’s just too funny to watch. Everyone’s defending you. You have an entire army at your feet and they don’t let him have a single word. He’s absolutely defeated and the sight is too glorious to witness.   “I agree,” the older man says with a nod and Mickey barks like he agrees too.   “This is private.” Hoseok is becoming increasingly upset. No one is fazed. “Y/N.”   “My house, my rules.” His mother crosses her arms. “Don’t listen to him, Y/N. He can’t make you go anywhere or do anything that you don’t want to. Don’t be scared. I’ll protect you.”   You laugh, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of love that they give you. You can’t help but feel undeserving of it. “Don’t worry, I’m not. Can I go feed Mickey food though? It’s been so long and I think he’s hungry.”   “Okay.” She tells you that it’s in the old place and you go off with Mickey running by your side, like you know exactly where she’s talking about. Hoseok is baffled again, and it doesn’t help when his mother glares at him, his sister is chewing and watching, and his dad takes peeks while slurping the noodles. “If you scare Y/N away or kick her out, don’t call me your mother anymore.”   “That’s a bit dramatic, honey,” his dad chimes in, chewing a cheekful and pointing his utensil at his son. “But she’s right. You won’t have a dad either.”   Sowon laughs chaotically, joining in with the fun. “You never had a sister to begin with. I don’t know you.”   The longest sigh of life leaves him. He doesn’t even say anything to his family, having no energy and no words, merely turning and walking away. He follows the light of the hallway to where you are by the washing machines. The top cupboard is open and the food bowl is full. Mickey is happily eating away while you’re petting him and his body nuzzles against yours.   “You didn’t tell me you knew my parents.”   “I didn’t think they would even remember me.” You shrug, looking up at him past your lashes.   There’s silence before he asks a simple— “How?”   “We were friends and I came over like two times for dinner.”   “That’s it?”   “That’s it,” you answer. “Why?”   “I don’t know. I’m just...shocked.” He moves away from the doorway and squats down with you to meet your eyes. Hoseok pets the brown dog carefully and it still leans more into your touch than his own. “You said we weren’t close.”   “Not really.” You shrug yet again. “We only went on like two dates and you didn’t call back.”   “But you met my parents?” It doesn’t add up inside his mind. Hoseok would never let someone he went on two dates with meet his parents. To him, meeting the parents was a serious step and he would never be so mellow about it.   “That was before we went out on the date,” you explain while watching Mickey eat away. “You invited me and a bunch of our other friends to have dinner at your place. It really isn’t that big of a deal, Hoseok.”   He’s become quieter and you can tell it’s bothering him. “Why didn’t I call you back?” His head lifts, pupils locking with yours as he seemingly tries to understand the foggiest part of his life. “After the second date, I mean.”   “I don’t know. Maybe you thought I was annoying.”   “That can’t be it. You’re not annoying.”   “Well, younger me might have been.” Your shoulders shrug and your eyes divert elsewhere. “The past is the past, right? That’s what you told me.”   “I….guess.” Yet, his frown remains.   “I think you should be more concerned that your parents actually like me and I might be able to convince them into making you give me a raise,” you tease him with a tiny laugh.   It’s pretty sad to be squatting together in a crumbling laundry room with a faint yellow light above your head, both petting a small dog who cares more about eating at the moment. But it’s an intimate moment and you don’t resist the smile that overcomes your visage when he pouts at you.   “Not happening.”   “I don’t know, Seok,” you sing-song, using his family nickname and Jung Hoseok pouts even harder.   //   His entire family dotes on you, favouring you over their actual son. It’s still fun to see Hoseok interact with his parents and sister and be sulking the entire time. They ask about your job, what you’ve been up to and if Hoseok gives you a hard time. You’re fairly vague about what you’ve been doing, telling them that you worked different kinds of jobs before applying to his firm, and because you're so merciful, you tell them Hoseok is a great boss.   Sowon also talks about her job and crazy stories of wedding crashers. The conversations are rather mundane, small talk to recounting anecdotes and catching up with one another. But it’s warm and cozy to gather around the dinner table as a family. They don’t treat you like an outsider or stranger whatsoever.   If anything, you feel like you’re being treated more like a stuffed turkey, eating and eating. You’re perfectly aware of the sadistic streak that runs through the family and it makes you wonder if they’ll just knock you out and spear you. Though you highly doubt they became cannibals since you last saw them.   The candles on the cake get blown out. Hoseok gives his mom slippers for her birthday while Sowon bought an expensive brand name bag. The difference in presents makes everyone turn to Hoseok to glare at him jokingly and the silence makes you laugh until your stomach hurts.   You don’t realize hours have passed since you arrived. And you’re starting to suspect that everyone is trying to find tactics for you to stick around as long as possible. When Hoseok tries to end things, his mother steps on his foot and offers you another plate of food to which you politely refuse. His dad is adamant about showing you the revamped garden and his sister turns on a movie, telling you to stay and watch the entire thing.   There are more desserts brought your way and his mom is ready to fire up the oven and make cookies with you. But when you let out your tenth yawn, Hoseok finally calls quits.   You bid goodbye to the family and his mom hugs you close, nearly suffocating you while she plants three kisses to the top of your head in rapid succession, telling you to come back soon. His dad also gives you a jolly hug, and Sowon smiles, slipping you her phone number in case you need it.   “Thanks for coming, Y/N,” Hoseok says in the car after getting some peace and quiet.   “Thanks for having me,” you reply in a sheepish whisper.   Hoseok drives you back home and you fall asleep with your head pressed against the cool window, lulled by his gentle humming and feeling warm inside and out.

[gotboredwrote]

Starting Early // TM!JFM

Pairing: Tim Murphy x Fem!Reader Word Count: 8.2K Style: One-Shot Warnings: Fluff, some pregnancy discussions, swearing, some angst Summary: You and Tim had been trying for a baby for a while, and one day you popped into the museum with a small box in hand ready to make what you could only imagine was a very stressful day better. Once it’s official, Tim cannot wait to show the baby around his place of work. Permanent Author’s Note: To clarify, I write because I get bored. Nothing is meant to be professional in any way, nor is meant to offend, cause anxiety, cause anger, cause sadness, or promote disagreement among readers in any sort of (semi)permanent way. A/N: This could have been written for literally anyone I write for but I had a strong urge for Tim, so that’s that.

Masterlist

~

To say that it had been a stressful time in Tim’s life was an understatement. One of the biggest stresses of his life had recently come to a head, though, and that was yours and his wedding. But he would never admit to you that the planning had stressed him out. You, on the other hand, made that apparent. That was something he loved about you. You were not shy, so you two balanced each other out. The wedding ended up being absolutely amazing, and the honeymoon was a great way to relieve all the pent-up stress.

Once the honeymoon was over and the two of you were back to your daily grinds, the other stresses in his life returned, including the museum, dealing with his kooky family, and a new pressure entered, as well. One that he was not quite sure he was ready for, but knew he wanted the minute you suggested the idea. You two were going to try for a baby.

But things were not working out the way you wanted. You were positive you were doing things right, but it had been months and no test came back positive. After almost half a year of trying, you were both getting extremely discouraged, and Tim’s workload had increased tenfold, so he was even more tense than usual. To say that you both were wrecked over the situation was an understatement, and after the day you saw Tim go to work with tears in his eyes, you were determined to pick up his spirits. But you were not sure how you were going to do that.

Until you took the most recent test.

~

You had woken up sick to your stomach the morning after Tim left with tears in his eyes, and could not hold it back. Tim was about to walk out the door when he heard you in the bathroom and rushed over to the door to check on you.

“Babe?”

All he was met with were some sputtering coughs.

“Y/N?”

“W-what?”

“You need me to stay home today?”

You trudged your way over and opened the door to face him instead of talking through it.

“I’m okay. The chicken last night must not be agreeing with me. I’ll be okay, go get your work done. I’ll just see you when you come home, okay?”

“But you’re sick, I can’t—”

“Yes you can. I’ve been sick when you’re away on a dig and been fine.”

“You’ve been sick when I’m away and not told me?!”

“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you, honey. Now go off to work because I think round two is coming.”

“Babe—”

And the door was shut in his face. ‘Great,’ he thought. ‘Now I have to worry about her, my job, and the fact that my body is so screwed up it can’t even give her a damn baby.’ He walked out to his car feeling even more defeated than usual and a little bit depressed. He could not help but wonder if he was worth being with you, as dramatic as that was.

As Tim was walking out, and you were finishing up the round two that came rather violently, something dawned on you. And it both terrified you and made you thrilled.

Once you felt like you could stand up without feeling dizzy, something else that had been happening the last few days, you got changed and grabbed your own car keys. You raced down to your local drug store, the same pharmacist seeing where in the store you were heading. He was glad you did not see him, but he gave you a pitiful look. He stopped counting after you had bought 40 tests. He had never seen someone more determined to have a baby, and he just did not have the courage to breach such a sensitive subject with you. But he did not have to worry for much longer, because the next time you came in the store, you bought beef jerky, something you or Tim never ate. And he knew.

When you got home, you practically shot gunned a bottle of water in an effort to get ready for the little stick that was more daunting than it should have been. Then, as soon as you felt the sensation, you went in the bathroom, and the waiting game commenced.

5 minutes.

4.

3.

2.

1.

…

It was not even two little lines you got to see. You had splurged in the hopes that maybe this would be the one on one of those tests that quite literally spells out ‘not pregnant’ or ‘pregnant.’ You read the result.

And you could not wait to drive to the museum.

~

The drive usually only takes about 20 minutes, and even though that was all it took this time, the nerves and nausea radiating through your stomach made it feel like 20 years. On the way there, you had stopped at a local craft store and bought a small, white box and some blue and pink tissue paper to place the test in. It was astounding to you how a small piece of plastic was about to change yours and Tim’s life for the better.

You parked your car and made your way into the museum, Lilah the normal receptionist sitting in her chair having her daily coffee and pastry. She saw you walk in, smiled at you, and waved you through. Normally, the people who come to see someone on staff are required to have a visitor pass, and when you and Tim first started dating, you were no exception to the rule. Now, the entire staff of the museum knew who you were, and thought it was just plain silly for a staff member’s wife to wear a badge, especially when you visited so much you practically worked there yourself.

Once through the opening exhibit, you made your way back to the hallway of offices and walked up the flight of steps to the second floor where Tim’s office was. As you were walking up the steps, though, one of Tim’s bosses happened to be walking down and started talking to you.

“Y/N! I’m not really surprised to see you here, but it’s always nice to see you, nonetheless. What does Tim owe the pleasure?”

“I actually have a surprise for him, Jerry.” Jerry was Tim’s oldest boss, and he was genuinely the sweetest man you had ever gotten the pleasure of meeting. “Is he in his office?”

“Well, I’m not quite sure, actually. Here, I’ll follow you up and if his door is locked, I can let you in and you can wait for him.”

“That’d would be great, Jerry, thank you very much.”

You walked up, and sure enough Tim’s office was locked. Having Jerry there was a blessing, and he was about to leave you and lock the door behind him, when he turned around.

“Sweetheart?”

You looked up at him with wide eyes and a hum.

“If I may… what is that little gift you have? Today isn’t Tim’s birthday, is it?” “Oh! No, no it isn’t. This is actually just a bit of a surprise for him, is all. Surprised me, too, if I’m being transparent.”

“Is it what I think it is?”

You nodded enthusiastically, tears already threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Well. Knowing Tim, you’re about to make him the happiest man on Earth. And you already did the day you married him. Congratulations, deary.”

You could not even bring yourself to say thank you because you had started crying happy tears. Jerry shut the door behind you and you heard the lock click. You had calmed your crying down after about 5 minutes, and then another 5 minutes later, you heard the door unlock again. Tim walked in with an enormous stack of paperwork that completely dropped to the floor when he saw you seated at his desk. Thankfully, it was all in sealed file folders, so nothing cascaded across the floor.

“Jesus! Ah… oh my god. Y-Y/N… what are you… doing here?” Tim had to speak between breaths because you had scared him so badly.

“Sorry, honey! I just wanted to come see you and your door was locked, so Jerry let me in so I could sit down.”

“It’s…it’s fine. Just let me… catch my breath for a sec.” Tim sat down at the chairs that were opposite his chair, not wanting to make you get up, roles reversed momentarily. “So. What do I owe the pleasure of my wife’s presence on this… overwhelming day?”

“Well, I actually have something to give you.” “… I didn’t forget about my birthday again, did I?”

“No, Tim.” You were laughing in an attempt to cover up the emotions that were starting to resurface, since you knew what was about to happen. Your lives were about to change. Well, Tim’s was. Yours already had, alone in the bathroom earlier this morning.

You slowly slid the white box over to your husband, and he looked at it with confusion at first. Then he slowly reached for it and lifted the lid. He saw the pink and blue bundle of tissue paper and looked back up at you with even more confusion. You were doing everything in your power to not give anything away, but much to your chagrin, a tear slipped from your eyes the moment Tim made eye contact with you. The confusion lifted from his face, and a new emotion took over – concern. He ripped into the tissue paper like a small child on Christmas morning, but with the intensity of a grown man. The tissue paper had been scattered all around his legs and the floor and the top of his desk until he got to what was hidden underneath it.

‘Pregnant.’

The room was silent for a moment. Then came the sniffles from both sides of the desk. Then the eye contact of eyes that were flooded with tears and burning red with overwhelming feelings of love. Tim was by your side in an instant, latching on to you with everything he had. You were sobbing and he was laughing. It was a moment you would never forget.

“I… I knew we were doing it right.”

“Obviously, Timmy.”

“You’re going to be a mom… oh my God, you’re going to be a mom and-and I’m…”

“You’re going to be a dad.”

Tim looked at you and his eyes sparkled the way water looks when the sun shines down on it.

“An amazing dad.”

~

[2.5 Weeks]

“Isn’t that a good idea? We can start he/she early!”

“You know I don’t like pictures, Tim.”

“But this is different! This is something we are both going to want to look back on, and what better way to do it?”

Tim had come home from work a few days after he found out you were pregnant with a bag from a local electronics shop and was enthusiastically telling you about a plan he had. The plan involved something you had hated even before you were pregnant, but knowing that you were going to just be getting bigger and bigger as time went on made you hate the idea even more. Tim had wanted to document your pregnancy through pictures at the museum at milestone dates.

“… fine. You spent all that money on the camera, so I guess I can deal with it.”

“Astounding! And it starts today, you’re coming to work with me!”

“Tim! I have to go to work myself, I can’t just not show—”

“I already called your boss, he said it’s fine. Probably because he wanted me to just shut up, but it worked!”

You just looked at Tim lovingly while he laughed to himself. Then you ran over to the bathroom. Tim never thought he would get used to hearing you get sick. He almost felt bad that he was the cause of it, but knowing what would come out of it after nine months made it completely worthwhile to him. You were not so sure in the moment, but Tim’s enthusiasm convinced you otherwise.

You had made your way to the museum carefully, because the motions of cars did upset your stomach more. But the ride was quick and pretty painless this time. The two of you had decided not to tell anyone right away in case the worst happened, so when the museum staff saw you and Tim walk in together, no one thought anything different. Except for Jerry, but Tim had talked to him in advance and he knew not to say anything. When you two passed him walking to Tim’s office, he just gave you both a small smile, which you both returned.

Once all of Tim’s belongings were in his office, the two of you started walking hand in hand through the museum. Tim seemed to be taking you to a specific exhibit that he had in mind, but you were not sure why. Then it dawned on you. It was the exhibit that had the skull he found a long time ago on a dig when the two of you were still dating. (You do not have to read this for this story to make sense, just know that it could be read as a prequel of sorts.)

“Why are we stopping here?”

“You didn’t think I bought an expensive camera without a plan on when to use it, did you?”

“Of course not, but why this exhibit?”

“Don’t you remember? This is where the skull I found it is. I thought this could be where we take the growth pictures. Do you… hate the idea?”

You were feeling emotional to begin with, what with all the new hormones raging through your body, but you were just so happy in that moment that you just hugged Tim tightly. When you pulled away, through more happy tears, you told him how happy you were and how much you loved the idea.

Tim had you stand sideways in front of the display, lit with gold-tinted lights that illuminated your silhouette in a way that almost made Tim cry.

“There’s not much of a bump yet, Tim.” “But we know he/she’s there.”

[One Month]

The morning sickness had increased. Quite a bit. You felt sick around the clock, and practically everything you ate came up later in the day. Tim had gotten better at handling it. At first, he would have trouble being in the bathroom or even near it. Now he can hold your hair back for you as long as he does not look at you. You took what you could get.

One particular morning, Tim had woken up more excitable than he had been recently. You just felt sick so you ignored him. Then you felt a flop on top of you, signaling Tim had thrown something on top of you.

“What the hell are you doing? I don’t work today, why are you waking me up? And throwing my clothes on me?”

“Because you’re coming to the museum today. It’s been one month!”

“What…are you talking—”

“One month since you got pregnant, baby!”

The days dragged so much for you with how awful you felt, both physically from the sickness, and emotionally from not being able to tell anyone yet, that you completely stopped keeping track of dates. You had trouble believing that it had already been so long.

“Oh… that means it’s picture day, huh?”

“You bet! Plus, I’m giving a tour today to a group of 6 year-olds, so maybe you could tag along and see what we have coming!”

You offered Tim a weak smile. You were both so sure of having a kid together, but the reality of at it all had not really set in, at least for you. Your brain still continually told you that it was simply severe food poisoning from that chicken. But to Tim, it was his child. He was so proud that he could do something like that, and he wanted to prepare in every possible way he could, just so he could be the kid’s best friend. But you knew he did not have to prepare for that – it would happen by default. Almost made you jealous.

After a smaller than usual bout of morning sickness, you got dressed in the outfit Tim had picked out for you. The same one you wore the first time he took a picture. You understood why. The pants were a simple pair of grey sweats that were baggier around your lower abdomen and butt but were fitted toward the bottom, and a simple, oversized by about 3 sizes, pastel yellow tee shirt. An outfit that would be very easy to utilize for showing off a growing bump. Just what Tim wanted to do with his camera.

You went into your kitchen and smelled one of the few breakfast foods that did not make you sick, a chocolate croissant, something that Tim liked to bake for you even before you got pregnant. It was a specialty of his. One of the few things he could cook or bake, in general. He was standing at your kitchen table, with a somewhat bashful expression on his face. He held a croissant out in front of him, work bag and car keys in the other.

“I didn’t have time to bake them this weekend, so these are store-bought, but I warmed this one for you.”

You just walked over, took the croissant gently from his hands, and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you, honey.”

“You’re very welcome. Hope they’re not better than mine.”

“Close. But yours are better.”

“Fantastic.” He seemed really giddy about that fact. It made you smile. “You ready to head in?”

“I think so, I just need to grab my wallet.”

With that, the two of you made your way over to the museum and barely had any time to lock your belongings in his office when the exhibit manager of the day came over and told Tim the group was already there, and they were getting impatient. He needed to make his way down quickly or there would be a bunch of rambunctious 6-year-olds making a mess for the janitors.

Tim told them he would be down as soon as he could, but he would only walk at the speed you felt comfortable with. You were his priority. You were doing good on the sickness today, and he was not about to be the reason that changed. You two made your way down and instantly Tim went into tour guide-mode. It honestly was one of the funniest Tim personalities you knew, but you loved it all the same. Tim was introducing himself to the kids and the teachers and chaperones while you watched from the back of the group. A small group of Tim’s coworkers walked by the group and saw you standing there, and waved enthusiastically. Nothing out of sorts. You two still had your secret in place.

You followed the group around from the back, sometimes talking to one of the chaperones about this or that, and even mentioned to one that you were in the very early stages of your pregnancy, to which she became giddy but kept it contained. The only reason you mentioned it to her was because you had pointed out that one girl seemed to be very sad the whole tour and the lady mentioned that it was her daughter.

“If you’d like, when they have a break, you could go talk to her.”

“What? Why? Why me?”

“You’re gonna need practice, sweetheart, boy or girl.”

You gave her a nervous look, because this was making reality really set in for you. But you heeded her words, knowing she was right, and made your way over to the little girl while she ate her lunch alone.

“Hi there.”

She looked up at you with big, beautiful blue eyes.

“May I sit with you? I don’t have anyone to eat lunch with.”

She just nodded her head and kept slowly munching, her mother watching from behind so the girl did not see her.

“What’s your name, sweetie?”

“Josephine.”

“That’s a beautiful name! Mine’s nowhere near as pretty, it’s just Y/N.”

“That’s pretty too!”

“Well, thank you. Josephine is prettier though. Your lunch looks good, what’re you having?”

“PB&J!”

You gasped in shock. “That’s my absolute favorite! In fact,” you reached down into your bag, “I brought one myself!”

Josephine laughed loudly, the sound attracting the attention of both her mother and Tim, but you two were too wrapped up in each other to notice.

“Josephine, can I ask you a question?”

Another nod.

“You looked really sad all morning, and that made me sad. Could you tell me why?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Honey. I promise there is no stupid reason to feel however you’re feeling. Emotions are natural reactions to whatever happens to you. What you feel is okay to feel. If you tell me what it is, I might be able to make you feel better.”

“…Tyler called me unpretty.”

“Tyler called you unpretty?”

“Yeah.”

“Well listen. Tyler is the one here who is unpretty. You, my dear, are beautiful. Just like a Disney princess. You have a name fit for one, too. And I want you to know that that kind of behavior is not tolerated in the adult world, so I will make sure it stops for you, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“You think you can enjoy the rest of Dr. Tim’s tour?”

“Are you going to be there?”

“Of course I will, sweetie. Dr. Tim and I have a very special relationship. I’m his biggest fan.”

“Do you love him?”

Her question caught you slightly off guard. “More than anything in this world, sweetheart.”

“Okay.”

“But I’ll be right behind the group the whole—”

“Would you hold my hand while he gives the show?”

You stopped in your tracks. That felt too much like something her own mother should do. You glanced over to her, knowing she was watching the interaction now, and she gave you the thumbs up.

“I would love to sweetie.”

For the rest of the tour, you stuck by Josephine’s side, hand not leaving hers once. Every once in a while, you were certain you saw Tim sneak a lingering glance at the two of you, and one time it lasted so long, he had to break himself out of his thoughts and his eyes had gotten a little glossy.

At the end of the tour, you all said your goodbyes, and you gave Josephine a quick hug, and gave one to her mother, as well. As you and Tim watched the bus drive away, Tim turned to you with a small smirk on his face.

“What do you want, Dr. Tim?”

“Oh, nothing… mom.”

He grabbed your hand and immediately took you to the display so he could take your picture. Still not much of a bump, you noticed, but you sure as hell felt different after the interaction you had today.

“My money’s on girl.” “Really? You’re already making bets? On what grounds?”

“You were too damn good with that little girl for it to be coincidental.”

[Two Months]

Morning sickness was still a bitch, frankly. Your doctor, one of only 5 people who know about your pregnancy at this point, including you and Tim, put your mind at ease explaining that it should subside around month 4. Halfway to the cravings period, she explained. Nothing particular important happened in the last month, both at Tim’s work and with your pregnancy. Things were going smoothly, other than the incessant sickness, but that more than likely meant you and baby were healthy. At least according to your doctor.

You felt Tim throw your clothes on top of you again, signaling that you would be spending another day at the museum. Another picture day. This time you were less upset about him waking you up. But once you stood up, you were sprinting to the bathroom.

Damn morning sickness.

One chocolate croissant and a twenty-minute drive later, you were seated in Tim’s office reading a book from his shelf, one of the few novels relating to dinosaurs he had amongst hundreds of textbooks. He had mainly a paperwork day that day, so the two of you just enjoyed each other’s presence. Something you hardly got to do even before you were pregnant. Your work lives made it so hard to see each other for any extended period of time, but you found ways to make it work.

Before either of you knew it, you had spent the entire day in his office, with you reading and him doing paperwork. It was practically time to go home, but you still had not taken your picture yet. You and Tim gathered all your belongings, locking up on your way out and made your way down to the exhibit. When you got down there, you placed all your stuff out of frame and stood profile to him and head gazing down at your stomach, just like any other shoot.

But you never heard the shutter.

You looked over at Tim who had tears streaking down his face, the camera shaking from how his hands were violently doing the same. You rushed over to him and grabbed his face, completely overwhelmed with confusion because you had no idea what triggered this. It was not raining or anything, so you had no idea what had set him off.

“Tim, baby, what’s wrong?” The panic was apparent in your frantic tone of voice.

“You’re showing.”

“What?”

“You’re showing.”

“What are you talk—”

“Let me take the picture.”

You slowly pulled away from him, resuming your position from a second before, and you heard the shutter go off this time. You walked back to him to see what he was referring to, and it hit you as hard as a wave of nausea in the morning.

You were showing.

The baby was showing.

You had already started to show after only two months.

You looked up at Tim with eyes that were just as watery as his, and hugged him tightly, but his grip was lighter. Knowing what was in between the two of you.

It became real.

[Three Months]

You had your doctor’s appointment, and she told you that it was officially safe to begin telling people about the pregnancy. Everything was looking fine, and the fact that you already had a small bump this early meant the baby was big and healthy. Absolutely nothing to worry about.

You told your families, and they all were extremely supportive, and Lex even cried, knowing that her kids would have a new family member to play with. Everything was going great, and you and Tim constantly felt like you were on cloud 9.

When you went into the museum to take the photo that day, you decided enough was enough and stopped hiding the bump, letting Tim’s coworkers ask about it. Some clapped him on the back, some broke down in tears at how amazing of parents they knew you two were going to be. It was all very overwhelming, but the two of you kept it pretty well together. Until it was time to take the photo. For some reason, seeing how much you had grown in a month set both of you off to the point where you were leaned up against the exhibit window, crying silently with each other.

Until you decided to speak.

“Am I going to be a good mom?”

“Wh-what?”

“Am I—”

“You’re going to be a perfect mom. I don’t know what brought this sudden fear up, but know that you are going to be a natural.”

“It’s all becoming so real, Tim. Like, I don’t need to stand sideways anymore to see the bump. He/she is really growing. They’re real. I just… don’t want to mess up.”

“Do you really think you and I aren’t going to make any mistakes? I mean, yes, we are near perfect human beings,” Tim’s sarcasm and sass always made you laugh, because it was never something people expected to come from such a shy human, “but all parents make mistakes. That’s how kids develop personalities. Otherwise, baby-making could basically be named cloning and we’d have invented that without even knowing it.”

Tim saw that you were not looking at him and tears were still running down your face. So, he grabbed it and pulled it to look at him.

“I didn’t have to see you with that girl to know you are going to be as perfect as you can be. Because I can see how much the idea of being a bad mom is eating away at you. You couldn’t handle the prospect of someone thinking you’re a bad mother, so you’re going to do everything in your power to make sure that doesn’t happen. Plus, I just know you. You were practically a mom even when we were dating. How much you doted on me. Took care of me on my bad days. Still do.”

You believed Tim. You believed every word that came from his mouth.

“And I know I’m going to be a great dad by the same logic as you. I don’t want to be a bad dad more than anything in this world, so I’m not going to let it happen. Plus, Lex can always give us pointers.”

“…thank you.” “Anytime, mother of my child.”

“…that’s weird, don’t say that.”

“You married this weirdo, you should expect this after all these years, Y/N.”

[Four Months]

Your morning sickness subsided – just like the doctor told you it would. It was a relief to not be throwing up every 2 hours. But the cravings were not much better. Beef jerky? ‘Really, baby?’ you always thought as you would gaze at your ever-growing stomach, now practically impossible to hide.

Walking in the museum with outside food or drink was against the rules, but Tim’s coworkers and bosses made an exception for you, knowing how hard you two tried to get to this moment in your lives. Especially when they saw you walk in going to town on a bag of beef jerky. They could tell by your expression that you hated it but it was what the baby wanted, and they always laughed out of pity and bemusement.

Nothing particularly exciting happened this day, either, just like last month. With the exception of a recent find being dropped off the museum for display. Tim told you he would finish up his paperwork and you could go watch them set it up. Then he would come find you when he was done and you could take your picture and go.

Once Tim had taken the picture, Tim had started crying again, so you ushered him to join you by the display and sit down.

“What’s going on, Timmy?”

“What… if they’re scared of me?”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“Scars, Y/N.”

You just looked at him in shock.

“I don’t look like you. Or anyone else. I’m marked. I know eventually I’ll have to explain what these are from, but what if when they’re a baby they don’t want me to hold them? Or feed them? Or change them? Or lay them in the crib? What if they just think I’m a monster? And not…dad?”

“… I wish I could say it won’t scare he/she. But I definitely think they’ll be interested… to a degree. But that won’t matter to a baby. All they’re going to see is your big beautiful eyes and your smile. All they’re going to hear is how cute they are and your gorgeous singing voice when you sing them to sleep. You’ll appear as the farthest thing from a monster, and you just have a really cool bedtime story to tell them when they’re younger. You can save the real stuff for later.”

“…”

“I love your scars. You know that. Very much so. I think the baby will, too.”

[Five Months]

You had officially gone one month without morning sickness, and you were very thankful for that fact. Tim would never say it to your face, but he was too. He did not want to make you feel bad for making him feel sick all the time, too, seeing as that the cause of yours was him. Your cravings were still in a pretty full swing, though, but they were never terrible combinations like movies and television made them out to be. Most of the time they were just foods you were not particularly fond of, but you could move past that, since they did not make you sick.

You had another doctor’s appointment, as per usual, but this was one you did not tell Tim about. Not because there was anything involved he had not seen before, but because this was the official appointment where the gender could be found out. You had a plan; you were going to have the doctor tell you the gender, and then you were going to work with the museum to have a small, private gender reveal for Tim. When you found out the gender, you cried and wanted to immediately share the news with Tim, but patience is truly a virtue, and you knew it would be worth the wait.

When you got home that day, you called the museum and told them what day you would be coming into the museum to take the newest photo, and they were more than willing to help you out. You wanted the surprise to be simple, so you explained what you had in mind, and they were all for it. Eventually the day came where you and Tim went to the museum together, and you spent the day like any other, moseying around sometimes with him and sometimes not. On one occasion when you were by yourself, you walked over to the exhibit where you took your photos to make sure the reveal had not been set up yet, and thankfully it was not. Meaning, Tim had no clue what he was in for.

Later in the day, the museum had closed up for the public, so you made a quick call to the manager who was going to set up your surprise to signal it was go time. You stalled Tim in his office as long as you could, but eventually, you ran out of stuff to say. So, you two made your way downstairs, and all you could do was hope that the manager got out of there in time.

Once in front of the exhibit, you decided not to say anything at first. See if Tim would notice. You set yourself up in front of the viewing window and assumed the position, and you heard the shutter go off. You were almost hurt that Tim did not notice the glaringly obvious breach of protocol in the exhibit, because you were the one who wanted to do this surprise for him. So, you decided to egg him on a bit.

“Tim, did I tell you I had an OBGYN appointment today?”

Tim’s head slowly looked up at you from the camera and his eyes were glossy, and you were certain you could see his lips trembling, holding back a smile.

“I didn’t think not telling you would make you this upset, honey, I’m really—”

“Pink.”

That explained the tears. And the attempt not to smile. He saw your surprise in the photo looking closer. You had instructed the museum to find a small beanie that would fit onto the skull in the exhibit that Tim had found on the dig. A pink one. To let him know that he would be having a daughter with you.

“It’s pink… you’re having… having a girl?”

“We’re having a girl, yes. A girl, Tim!”

“That’s the greatest news anyone could have ever told me. A girl… oh my God, a girl!”

You could see that he was ecstatic to hear that it was a girl. Both of you would have been happy with whatever it ended up being, but the happiness that radiated off of your husband indicated to you that he might have been leaning toward a preference.

“Oh no.” “What, Tim? You were just so happy.”

“I’m going to have to fight a lot of men soon.” “What? Why?” You were practically laughing just at the thought of Tim trying to win a fight. He was headstrong, sure, but body strong? Not so much.

“She’s going to be just as beautiful as her mother, which means a lot of potential suitors.”

“I’ll help her. She needs a man just like her father.”

 [Six Months]

After finding out that the two of you were going to have a girl, it was time to tell your families and friends, and they had nothing but sweet and wise words of advice. Everyone kept saying to you privately that they could see you being a great mom to a boy or a girl, but that Tim would be especially good with a girl. For some reason, it just made sense, and you could not help but agree with them. He was always just so tender and sweet with everyone he meets, and he treated you like a fragile piece of glass when he interacted with you, giving you the utmost care. You would not be surprised if that happened with your baby, but ten-fold.

This day at the museum was nothing out of the ordinary – paperwork, some smaller tours, things of that nature. You did not mind though. With how far along you were getting, nearing the third trimester already, you were starting to constantly feeling tired. So, being able to lounge on Tim’s office couch and just doze off or read a little bit was always a nice feeling.

At one point though, someone had knocked on the door while Tim was out, and you honestly were not sure if you should answer. That situation, despite how long the two of you had been together, had not come up since the first time. The first time it was just a package for him, so it was not a big deal, but you could never be sure who it was, since his door did not have a peephole.

You carefully stood up on your own, not used to not having Tim right by your side to help you, and answered the door. Standing behind it was a very cheery Jerry, Tim’s boss.

“Y/N? I didn’t expect you to answer.”

“Timmy is off with an intern explaining something he did wrong.” You both laughed at the idea of Tim being all nervous and jittery about something being wrong. “Would I be able to help you with what you needed?”

“Actually, the whole reason I came was for you, but I was just going to have him give you this.” Jerry handed you an envelope that felt extremely thin, but you did not question it one bit. Jerry had his ways of explaining himself sooner or later. “Just read that whenever you get a chance, dear. I think you’ll like what’s inside.”

“Alright. Should I—”

And he shut the door behind him, leaving you with your mouth agape.

So, you decided now was a good a time as any, since Tim was not there still to keep you company. You sat back down, carefully, onto his couch and opened the letter. It was a single sheet of paper, with hardly 15 sentences on it. You read it slowly and quietly to yourself, and when you had finished, Tim walked back through the door. He was met with the site of you crying silently and red-rimmed eyes. Immediately he was by your side asking you if you were okay and if the baby was hurt. You just looked up at him wearily but forcing a smile on your face while sliding the letter in his direction. Tim read aloud.

 “Dearest Murphy’s,

I hope this letter finds you at a happy time, or maybe, it would be better when you’re slightly sad and could be a pick-me-up of sorts. I would like to make this short and sweet, so as not to take much up of your time. First and foremost, I would like to offer you a piece of advice – frankly, it is what I would call the best piece of parenting advice one could receive, especially as first-time parents. ‘Protect the child at all costs, but do not prevent them from exploring potential.’ Pretty self-explanatory, but in case it isn’t clear – please keep the child safe at whatever cost, but if they express sincere interest in something and there is no inherent danger involved, even if it makes you anxious at first, don’t squander it. Children are so precious, and their minds take in everything, despite what you may think, and preventing the child from expressing themselves is only going to make them despise you and want to do everything in the opposite way you told them to. Secondly, I would like to offer Tim paid paternal-leave for as long as you are earning yours from your employer – we will match the length of time. Plus, as a bonus from the entire museum staff for all you two have done over the years for us, a small token of our gratitude is enclosed here that I sincerely hope will help you throughout the beginning of this journey.

I sincerely treasure you both as human beings, and I wish you all the luck with your little family.

Sincerely yours,

Jerry Turner, CFO Cretaceous and Jurassic Periods at American Museum of Natural History”

 Tim was still at a loss for what had made you cry, and then he saw the ‘small token of their gratitude.’

A check.

For $10,000.

Both you and Tim were sobbing. Loudly.

You could not believe it, because that would cover so much more than you could have ever imagined, and neither of you were quite sure what you did to earn such a thoughtful and extremely generous gift. You wanted to thank Jerry, but you had no idea where he ran off to, and you two were so overwhelmed by the gift that neither of you had the strength to move.

Little did you know that Jerry had watched Tim walk back in his office and was outside the door hearing how happy you were, and his heart swelled up.

You took the monthly picture, tears still streaking down your cheeks. You looked ethereal, despite the tears.

[Seven Months]

Officially within your third and final trimester, things were getting down to the wire. You had stopped all the various side-effects of pregnancy, and all that was left was the constant sluggishness. Tim did not want you drinking too much caffeine, so he cut back as well. You were constantly having the energy sucked out of you, but Tim kept going a mile a minute, somehow, considering the boy lived off of tea and the occasional coffee if he really needed it. You assumed it was nervous jitters knowing how close you two were getting to meeting the little one.

You had arrived at the museum early, and Tim had gotten all of his paperwork done the day before so he could spend the day walking around the museum with you, seemingly with a plan in mind.

Every time you would arrive at a new exhibit, Tim would drop down to his knees, and he would gently lay his head down onto your belly. Then he would start talking. Anything he could say about the exhibit – reading the signs, spewing random bits of knowledge here and there, whatever he could think of. After he did this about four times, you stopped him and asked him just what it was he was doing.

“I’m talking to her.”

You just looked at him sweetly, almost tearing up at the sentiment.

“Gotta start her early, don’t I? Can’t have her being into mathematics like her mother.”

And then came the eye roll. You almost did not let him take the picture that night because of that little gripe at your job.

[Eight Months]

It was hard for the two of you to believe you were down to the last potential thirty days, but you were already there. The two of you were both planners, so every single thing that could be accounted for was already accounted for – she had a room, clothes, diapers, everything. The two of you went and took your monthly picture, wondering if you would get to take another one, when it hit Tim that the two of you missed something crucial in your planning.

“Oh shit.” “What?”

“We don’t have a name yet.”

“Oh shit.”

Sitting down on the bench looking into the exhibit, you both thought about it for a while, throwing out ideas neither of you liked. Just to put something out there and maybe draw inspiration. Then Tim suggested another two names, and instantly you knew they were the ones. Both of you were old fashioned, and you knew you were going to get some comments about it, but it did not matter.

This was your daughter, and you could name her whatever you damn well pleased.

[Eight Months and Twenty-Two Days, June 11]

It was so much pain.

So much more pain than you expected.

But dammit, you were going to meet your daughter today, and that was that.

You honestly could not even remember the drive to the hospital, but the next thing you knew, you were in a hospital gown with a doctor telling you that you were nine centimeters dilated and that the pushing would start soon. Despite everything you told him was going to happen, Tim was right by your side gripping your hand like a vice, with an expression on his face that made the doctors think he was in as much pain as you were.

But it went quicker than you thought it would. That final centimeter happened quick, and everyone in the room was on you in an instant to coach you through the pushing. You only had to push for about 15 minutes and then you heard it.

Small but powerful cries, indicating that the baby was here and healthy.

Immediately she was on your chest and they were starting to clean her up, and then they took her over to the crib to wrap her. You were still catching your breath when you saw Tim walk over to you, bundle in his hands, him sobbing with joy.

“She’s—”

“Gorgeous.”

The nurse came over to the both of you with a clipboard after a few minutes, now that both of you had calmed down lightly.

“Alrighty. So, we have a healthy baby girl, born June 11 at 4:49am, weighing 6.1 ounces and measuring 20 inches in length. We have all the other stuff taken care of, we just need to know if she has a name yet.”

“She does.” Tim looked so proud that he was the one who got to say it for the official birth certificate.

“Agnes Eloise Murphy.”

The nurse smiled, double checked the spelling, and walked off to file it. You were just gazing at him with almost a hint of fear in your tired expression, because something the nurse had said threw you off a bit.

“Timmy…”

“Hm?” He was still gazing down at Agnes, not really mentally with you at that moment.

“Do you realize what today is? What her birthday is?”

“I do.”

“And you’re okay?”

“Of course I am. I will never have to remember the horror of Jurassic Park on this day any longer, she is a distraction from that nightmare, she is a living, breathing dream come true.”

 [One Month Birthday]

Agnes turned one month old, and neither of you could believe it. Other than doctor’s appointments, she had not left your apartment. You both decided that she could make one exception, and Tim was more than eager to take her to the place where he found out she would be coming into this world.

The two of you took her around the entire place, and ended at the exhibit where all the pregnancy photos were taken.

“You don’t know it yet, but this place has a lot of special meaning to mommy and daddy, and you too. We’ll tell you all about it when you’re older, lovebug.” Tim spoke to his daughter the same way he did when she was still in your belly and it made you melt. You knew it from the moment you laid eyes on her that she was going to be a daddy’s girl.

As he spoke to her, she smiled and placed a hand right atop the scar adorning Tim’s cheek. She laughed for the very first time.

“I told you she’d love them.”

When you look back down, you can see her enthusiastically swinging around the small dinosaur plush toy you had given her as a first stuffed animal. You smiled and looked back up at Tim, not believing how precious she was.

“And a dinosaur lover just like her dad, too.”

“Told you we had to start her early, keep her away from the numbers.”

Permanent Taglist: @bensrhapsody @chlobo6 @gardnerlangway @xtrashmammalstefx @bohemiandeakyy

Tim Murphy Taglist: @drtimmurphy

Specific Fic Taglist: @70sdeakys

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[deliriously-drawing]

The Aftermath (vampire au)

This scene was set after this specific comic here

///////

The Hybrid finally found him hyperventilating next to a garbage can, hidden well in a dark alleyway that was blocked off with turned over grocery carts and broken pieces of wood. Evan was soaking wet and shaking; he was huddled into the corner trying to make himself as small as he can possibly be. The panic that he didn't let himself feel at the warehouse finally consumed him the second he finally got a moment of peace.

The hunter was clutching his chest and Delirious could imagine how painful his heart must be beating right now. The rain continued to pour and bounce off Evan without a care in the world. He was breathing heavily as his racing heart struggled to calm down with all the adrenaline in it’s system.

Delirious slowly floated down from the air as his mis-matched eyes quickly tried to see if his human was injured in his encounter with the werewolf. But let out a sigh of relief when he didn't see any injures or smell any blood.

The hybrid was in a similar state of being soaked to the bone thanks to the ever pouring rain, but years of being an experiment made him not even notice the cold or the adrenaline in his system. After all, he wouldn’t be a good weapon if he had human limitations.

The vamp touched the ground and let his invisibility slip from his grasp. Evan didn’t acknowledge his presence. With a sigh not directed at the hunter but at the situation in general, Delirious pulled off his hood and kneeled in front of his human; whose gaze kept staring right through him. Possibly re-living the horror he just went through. After all; it's not everyday a hunter experiences a werewolf in close proximity and make it out alive.

Delirious smelt blood in that warehouse and briefly saw the broken pieces of a body in the dark, Evan must have seen who exactly was that broken body and how exactly it became a snack for the werewolf.

The hybrid raised his hand to touch the hunter’s shoulder but hesitated since he didn't really know exactly what to do when someone was having a panic attack. But Evan’s quick breaths and lifeless gaze isn't something that Delirious can leave alone. So doing something is better than nothing right?

With that thought Delirious pale hands touched tan skin and the hybrid was glad for his quick reflexes as he dodged an arm that was swiped out in blind panic. Delirious quickly murmured comforting things to Evan and he raised his hands up to show his frighten human that he meant no harm.

“Hey. Hey. It's me. It’s ok. You’re safe.”

Terrified brown eyes finally registered what was in front of them and Evan choked back a sob as he frantically searched for any injuries on the hybrid who stupidly jumped on the back of a werewolf. When he saw none Evan threw himself at his boyfriend and desperately clutched the cold body in his grasp to stop his racing heart and his traitorous thoughts that are making him think of that mangled corpse being replaced with Delirious.

The sudden force caused said boyfriend to fall on his ass right on a puddle; but the hybrid hardly cared about that as he clutched the warm body of his human, who meant everything to him. Who was so close to being wolf meat.

Whether it be rain or tears, the hybrid couldn’t tell as Evan frantically wiped his face and angrily proclaimed “You fucking idiot, what made you think you can face a werewolf.” His sentence was hard to understand through his dry sobs but the vamp understood it clearly. Delirious held his human tighter and buried his face into Evans’s shoulder.

“Same to you asshole. What were you doing in that warehouse in the first place?” Evan also put his forehead on Delirious’s shoulder and tightened his arms around the soaked vamp. He started shaking even more thanks to his emotions that were threatening to boil over. “The fucker I was chasing told me he had you… I-I wasn't thinking straight.” Delirious froze at the crushed tone his human was speaking in.

“You disappeared for 5 days without a word, so I panicked.” Delirious felt the suffocating feeling of guilt threatening to swallow him whole and felt so stupid for not warning his human in advance. But to be fair he didn't think it would last 5 days instead of the usual 24 hours it normally does.

Delirious looked up at the sky, as if to see if there was some type of god that was shaking its head at the hybrid’s stupidity but what simply happened was him watching the rain continues to pour.

The vamp grab his human’s face softly and and Evan saw the guilt in the mix-match eyes “I’m so fucking sorry Evan. Every month or so I need to go into a 24 hour hibernation as my brain settles and resets for a new feeding. It usually only lasts a full night and day which is why I never told you since it’s normal for me to go off at night when your sleeping, but this time for some odd reason I slept for 108 hours and spent the last 12 looking for you”

Delirious face scrunched up in thought. “I honestly don't know why that happened this month and it honestly concerns me, which is why I immediately went to you but couldn’t find you so.. yeah, all this shit happen.”

“But I swear to you if I knew my body would have shut down like that I would have told you but I didn't know, I’m sorry for making you worry, god all I do is cause trouble for you and—“ Delirious was caught off as Evan caressed his face. “Hey, hey don't freak out, you didn't know so how could you possibly tell me?” Evan smiled reassuringly but he stilled looked very tired. At least it seemed as if he has calmed down listening to his rambling so Delirious guesses that's a plus.

The hybrid huffed and scratched at his soaked hair “yeah, I guess that’s true.” The hunter- even though who was obviously exhausted- smiled at his boyfriend and Delirious eye smiled back.

Now that the adrenaline calmed down Evan hugged himself as Delirious helped him stand up. “Come on, let's get you back to your home.” Evan wanted to say that his home was also Delirious's if he wanted it to be but kept his mouth shut as he didn't want to seem clingy.

The hunter squinted up at the sky to see if the rain would lead up but that wasn't the case and Evan let out a sigh. He clenched his teeth to stop them from chattering and jumped when he was suddenly assaulted by warmth. He looked at Delirious in surprise as he clutched the blue hoodie in his hand that was draped across his shoulders. “It’s wet, but it's still better than that tank top huh?” Delirious eye smiled at his human. But Evan muttered tiredly “Hey, no. You’ll get sick.”

Evan tried to tug the jacket off, though a bit half-heartedly as his body simply refused to get rid of the extra protection from the freezing rain but Delirious grabbed Evan’s hand and began tugging him down the alleyway. “Nah, it's cool. The cold doesn't affect me as badly as you. I could stand in the snow if I wanted to and not feel the effects for a long time .”

The hybrid scratched his cloth covered nose as he hummed in thought. “I wouldn’t be a good weapon if I could get affected by the outside elements as easily as a human, now would I?” Evan walked close to Delirious and clutched the hand in his grasp “You’re not a weapon.” He said with so much confidence that delirious almost believed him.

Delirious looked at Evan for a sec and pulled down his mask to give a quick peck to his boyfriend lips and gave him a 1000 watt smile that showed his baby fangs. “Much appreciated.” The hybrid said as he slipped on his mask again. Evan felt his face get hot as blood rushed to his cheeks and he stood there dumbfounded by the sudden affection “Y-yeah, no problem.” He finally managed to mutter back.

The moment was broken by a clap of lightning that startled Delirious enough to get him running, the hybrid yelled “lets get the fuck out of this rain!” all while still clutching tightly to Evan’s hand. The hunter laughed as he followed his boyfriend down the abandoned streets to get back to his shitty apartment that hopefully one day the hybrid can call home.

/////

[camillemontespan]

a kingdom divided [part fourteen: a world of colour]

Part Thirteen here if you want to catch up!

Chapter List 

@jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @pug-bitch @drakesensworld @moonlightgem7 @dcbbw @notoriouscs @thecordoniandiaries @ifyouseekheart @thequeenofcronuts @tacohead13 @be-still-my-aching-heart @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore

                               **********************************************

'That fucking traitor.'

Olivia was the first one to speak after the long silence. Liam was sat at his desk with his head in his hands and he had gathered his circle of friends so he could tell them about Kiara and her betrayal.

'I can't believe it.. Are you sure it's her writing?' Hana asked, her eyes wide. Liam nodded silently.

Camille was clenching Drake's hand in shock. Bertrand had turned pale at the thought that Kiara was part of the club who had conspired to kill him. He felt sick to his stomach.

'This is treason,' Leo said fiercely. 'Liam, you have to do something.'

Liam looked at his brother with a distraught look in his brown eyes. 'What can I do? Imprison her? Sentence her to exile? If I play my cards too soon, the club will just find another way...'

'Liam, you imprison her. You have evidence that she is plotting against you, you have got to defend yourself!' Drake protested. 'It might stop them when they see you reacting. They might think twice about targeting again -'

'Drake, don't be so naive, it doesn't suit you,' Liam interrupted. Camille's eyes flashed. 'He is only trying to help,' she said. 'Let us help you.'

The King sighed. He felt so weary and bone tired. 'I can't be like Louis XIV,' he muttered. 'I refuse to lock anyone up unless it is necessary. Besides, if I act harshly, they will use that against me, as an example of why Cordonia is better off as a Republic, without tyrants ruling over them. No, I will continue my current plan which is to act like I know nothing while keeping an eye out. I need more evidence of the club. That means Kiara will think she is safe for now but I will be watching her.'

The others sighed. They clearly didn't agree with his plan but Liam was the King. It was his decision. Liam filed away the note for safekeeping. 'Be my eyes,' he told them. 'But most importantly, be safe.'

'That poor servant girl being threatened like that,' Hana said quietly.

Liam nodded. 'She's too scared to stay in the servants quarters. She's only seventeen, she's terrified.'

Camille looked at him. 'She could stay with us,' she suggested. 'I don't want a teenager to feel scared in her own space especially when it's my family history that has inspired this rebellion. I feel responsible.'

'What would she do at ours?' Drake asked. Camille smiled. 'She could just do what she does here! We have a small household anyway, she could do a bit of everything maybe? She’s seventeen, Drake. Someone has to look out for her.’

Drake smiled softly. 'You've gotten all maternal, haven't you?'

'I think that's a good idea. Plus if we carry it off like she has been fired for serving poisoned wine, the club might lose its suspicion,' Liam said.

He signalled that the meeting was over. Drake stayed behind as he was staying with Liam for the next appointment, which was with the new People’s Committee. As the Duke of Valtoria, he had to be there. Camille had been told by Drake to get home and rest.

The meeting  was poor timing for Liam as he wanted to focus on what to do about Kiara but he had to keep this appointment. At least he would be making one group happy, as opposed to feeling like he was failing everyone.

                            *****************************************************

Olivia left Liam's study with the others behind her.  When the rest of the group had gone their separate ways, Leo caught her by the wrist.

She reached out to hit him, her usual reaction whenever anyone touched her without permission. Leo grabbed her hand and chuckled. 'You're more fiery than usual today.'

Olivia rolled her eyes. 'I'm angry about Kiara. That little French weasel.'

'Perhaps I could take your mind off it..' Leo suggested cooly.

'No thank you. You've done enough,' she replied, twisting out of his grip. She began to stalk down the corridor with her head high. Leo followed until he was in step beside her, his hands in his pockets. 'So, did I make you forget?'

Olivia reddened. Of course he had.  Liam's face didn't even come up once in her mind, which was a relief as he was really a constant presence in her head, and she had woken up this morning in Leo's bed. The sunlight had filtered in, turning his golden skin even more golden.

'You fulfilled your purpose,' she told him bluntly.

'Indeed I did. Three times if I recall.'

Olivia ignored the memory. They had fucked twice last night and once this morning. The way Leo looked in the morning sunlight had been enough to make her want him one last time before she went back to ignoring him.

'You didn't answer my question though. Did I make you forget?'

She stopped and looked at him, her eyes narrowed. 'Yes. You happy? Now go and fuck a maid.'

Leo burst out laughing. 'You sure you want me to? You won't get jealous?'

She continued striding down the corridor, ignoring him. God, she couldn't stand him.

Did she regret last night and this morning? Yes and no.  No because she had needed it. Olivia needed a reminder that there were other men in the world aside from Liam. Shame she had to fuck his brother to do it but oh well. 

'Well, I'm glad I could be of service,' he told her. 'And I hope you remember our time together fondly.' He was joking with her now, as always. Trying to rile her up. He was back to playing the fun loving, irresponsible role he had perfected. Listening to him, Olivia couldn't believe that he was the same man who set out ground rules before they slept together. He had made sure she felt safe and understood, giving her all the power in the situation. He had actually listened to her.

She wasn't going to succumb to it again. She couldn’t, no matter how good it had been. 

'Try not to imagine having my babies,' he continued. 'Apparently some women do that.'

Olivia stopped and stared at him. 'Will you please just shut up?' she asked. 'God you're so annoying. Yes, you are great in bed but I'm not going to suddenly fall in love with you, I'm not like the other girls you've had! So just stop trying to rile me up! Get over yourself, we had sex, who gives a fuck? In all honesty, you were just convenient-'

She stopped ranting. Leo was staring at her. A wounded expression passed over his face. Olivia felt a stab of guilt but she pushed it down.

'Right then. I guess I'll go fuck a maid, to use your expression,' he said. He moved towards her and she stepped back. His gaze was intense. Gently, he stroked his finger along her jawline. His touch burned. ‘But I know where you live now, Nevrakis,’ he murmured. ‘It was you who initiated it. Three times. Not me. I helped you forget and now you have tasted it. You know what it’s like not to have him in your head and I was the reason.  Might be good for you to remember that.’ He withdrew his finger and Olivia let out a haggered breath. Without a word, Leo sloped off and left her standing in the corridor.

                        ***************************************************

The People’s Committee sat around the table in the meeting room. The group was varied with men and women, old and young. So far, Liam had listened to how the apples weren’t growing as well this year, tax was too high and fishing was the only sustainable industry. Liam had known this for some time, but it still hurt when he heard first hand accounts from his own people. He hadn’t realised how badly they had been affected; while many were working two jobs to make ends meet, he had been throwing balls in his glittering palace. He felt so ignorant of it all.

Drake had some Valtorians present at the meeting and he made special effort to get to know them. He wanted Valtoria to be a safe and happy place for his daughter and it was obvious to the Valtorians that he genuinely wanted to make the duchy better.

Liam agreed that the citizens could visit the palace once a month with petitions which he would consider. He promised that he would meet with his finance team and see if taxes could be lowered.

All in all, it was a successful meeting.

When the People's Committee were leaving the palace, happy and enthusiastic after the meeting, they passed a group of nobles. The silence that followed was so audible, it made Drake cringe.

'Who let the commoners in here?'

Drake closed his eyes. Why did Neville always have to be a world class dickhead?

The citizens, about five of them, turned to stare at Lord Neville who was looking at them down his nose, staying close to the wall, as far away as possible from them. Who knew why? To make a point it seemed.

'We've just had a meeting with the King actually,' one citizen replied. He was in his sixties and Drake remembered his name was Matthew. 'Very productive, I must say!' He grinned at Neville.

'Riiiight I'm sure it was', Neville sneered. 'Though you could just let the King govern and leave everything to us nobility. Just a thought. We have more understanding of these sort of things.'

Another man, James, strode forward. He was only twenty and he had a temper. 'How patronising are you?!' he said loudly. 'Who the fuck do you think you are?'

Drake stepped forward. 'Look, just ignore him, it's fine. Keep moving.'

Neville smirked. 'If course, Duke Walker is with the commoners. How typical. Even with your new title it seems you can't resist staying in the gutter.'

Drake forced down the urge to punch him. Camille had taught him how to rise above such insults and he wasn't going to disappoint her now.

Unfortunately, James hadn't been taught how to rise above it. He bolted forward and shoved Neville against the wall. 'Call us commoners one more time, Posh Boy,' he growled. Neville had turned pale, Drake could see.

'Please don't touch my waistcoat, it's one of a kind and very expensive, not that you would appreciate such things..' Neville said, shaking away his shock.

With a frustrated shout, James pulled back his fist to connect with Neville. 'James, don't!' Drake shouted, rushing forward to pull him back. But he was too late and James's fist connected with Neville's jaw. There was a resounding crack. Neville fell back against the wall, his eyes screwed up tightly. He let out a series of expletives which was not appropriate for a noble to say.

Drake pulled James back. 'James! Stop!'

James whipped around, his eyes flashing. 'Don't tell me you're defending this asshole? This creep who thinks he's better than us? I know you're a Duke now but I thought you still understood the common people! You used to be one of us!'

Drake reddened. 'Believe me, I am. It's just fighting will get you nowhere.'

James stared at Neville now. Neville, with such audacity, smirked. That set James off again. 'Fucking nobles! No wonder there's calls for a Republic if this who we have above us! ' he shouted. Suddenly, he rushed at Neville, intent to cause more damage. Drake grabbed him but instantly regretted it when James pulled back his arm, his elbow hitting Drake in the eye.

Drake stumbled back. His eye watered and everything around him seemed to fade out. He heard shouts and when he managed to regain his vision, he could see the security team had ascended on the group. James was dragged away from laying into Neville.

Drake wanted to get home. He was sick of court and everything it entailed.

                                        ***************************************

'What happened to you?!'

Drake grimaced. 'Neville and a citizen happened. Don't worry, I tried to stop it, I wasn't actually attacked.'

He slumped down onto the sofa and smiled weakly when Camille came over with a bag of frozen peas. She settled down on his lap and placed the bag over his eye. Gently, she kissed his forehead. 'Were you trying to be the hero again?' she asked wearily. This was not the first time they had had this conversation.

'Neville riled up a young guy,' Drake explained. 'I was trying to stop the guy from killing Neville.'

'Wow, you tried to help Neville? How times have changed..'

Drake chuckled. 'I've grown up, Camille.'

She looked at him, her eyes steady. 'You have, haven't you?'

'I had to,' he replied. 'It's not just me I have to look after anymore.'

He placed a hand on Camille's bump and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. Drake was tempted to bring up the subject of leaving for Texas, but the way she was holding him and keeping him close to her.. he didn't want to ruin it. He would have to find the right moment.

                                     *************************************

Hana examined her appearance in the mirror. She had settled on an outfit that she thought would be appropriate for crazy golf. She had chosen ripped blue mom jeans, espadrilles and a red camisole top. Relaxed but pretty.

Her phone buzzed with a text. It was Maxwell telling her he was outside. He had added a bunch of emojis in his excitement, one being of a dancing man, fireworks and an aubergine.

Grabbing her bag, Hana took a deep breath. It's just a date. Sure, your first ever date but it's with Maxwell, you've already slept with him so there should be no surprises..

She stepped out the front door of the palace and found Maxwell standing by a duck egg blue convertible. He was holding a bouquet of red roses.

Hana grinned, butterflies filling her stomach, and she raced down the steps towards him. He scooped her up into a cuddle and placed a kiss on her forehead. He handed her the roses. 'For you, my lady,' he smiled. Hana blushed. 'These are beautiful. '

'Heh. Just like you then,' he replied. He opened the passenger door for her and she stepped into the car.

'I didn't know you drove!' she said. Maxwell grinned. 'There's a lot you don't know about me yet, Hana!'

She smiled at him happily. 'I honestly can't wait to find out more.'

                                       ************************************************

It turned out that Hana loved crazy golf. She knocked the ball through a mini castle so it hit the dragon in the eye, which was the target.

She navigated the obstacle course with precision, hitting the golf ball through hoops and down little slides.

When she won the coveted Crazy Golf Crown, Maxwell placed it on her head and bowed.

There was a carnival next door. Still wearing her crown, Hana and Maxwell held hands as they entered the gates. 'Where to first?' Maxwell asked.

'Candyfloss?'

Maxwell broke into a grin and pulled her along to the candy floss stall. He ordered two and the vendor passed them both pink swirled candyfloss.

They wandered through the carnival. Maxwell's arm was slung over Hana's shoulder casually, as if this was how they always walked. Hana felt so at ease. Maxwell made her feel at ease.

He pointed out the rollarcoasters like he was a child at Disneyland. He picked her up and whirled her around, Hana laughing hysterically as they spun together under the rainbow lights of the carnival, the colors melting together creating a kaleidoscope of red, yellow, purple and pink. Hana wished that this world of colour could be theirs forever.

They came across a glass cabinet with stuffed toys inside and a giant claw above them. Maxwell squealed. 'Pikachu!'

Hana frowned. 'Sorry, what?'

'Pikachu,' Maxwell repeated. 'There's a toy of him in there, begging for me to take him home!'

Hana reddened. 'Um.. What's Pikachu?'

Maxwell dragged her to the cabinet. 'There! The yellow toy! Pikachu from Pokemon!' He suddenly broke into song. 'GOTTA CATCH THEM ALL!'

Hana was very confused. She had no idea what he was talking about. Yet again, she cursed her parents for her sheltered upbringing. She had never experienced things that made Maxwell - no, most people her age - fizz with excitement.

Patiently, Maxwell explained Pokemon and Pikachu. He promised he would sit get down and get her to watch the TV show with him.

Determined, Maxwell started to manoeuvre the claw down into the toys. He needed Pikachu. He was going to get Pikachu.

Three attempts later, he was practically weeping with frustration. He was rubbish at this game.

Sighing, Hana gently pushed him out the way and took over. Maxwell held his breath as he watched her move the claw. Already, she was getting closer to Pikachu.

'Oh my god, Hana! You've nearly got him!' Maxwell cried, jumping up and down. Hana bit her lip in concentration. Steadily, she moved the claw around until it touched Pikachu. Maxwell squealed. 'Nearly there!'

The claw gripped hold of Pikachu. Maxwell's mouth dropped open as he watched it carry his new toy. Hana dropped it into the slide so it came out of the cabinet.

'Hana you're amazing!' he cried picking it up. He stared at Pikachu.

'Maxwell.. Are you crying?'

He nodded slowly and let out a sniffle. 'I always wanted Pikachu..' he whispered. 'I had every other Pokemon but for some reason never Pikachu.'

Hana gave him a tight hug. Maxwell felt like all was right in the world and he knew it was because of Hana.

Later, Maxwell drove up to the palace. 'Tonight was amazing,' he told her. Hana blushed. Maxwell leaned over and kissed her softly, placing his hand behind her neck. The kiss grew more deep as their tongues met and Hana groaned, feeling her body react. Maxwell's fingers ran through her hair. He tasted of candyfloss.

Hana moved from her seat over to where Maxwell sat. She straddled him and they kissed more urgently. He pulled up her top and cast it to the backseat of the car. Hana felt his hands unclip her bra before making his way down to her jeans button. Hana reciprocated, pulling off his shirt and unbuckled his belt.

They did the best they could in the cramped space. It was dark outside and they were parked under a tree so they were well hidden. Their breaths came out harsh as they moved together, Hana riding him hard. They wanted each other desperately. Maxwell kissed her neck and focused on how she felt around him. She felt perfect.

Hana ground her hips harder and felt her body about to lose control. Maxwell groaned her name and that was all she needed. As her body jerked and she cried out, all she could see was their world of colour.

                                 **************************************************

The next morning, Olivia wandered down Leo's corridor. She had been thinking and she wanted to apologise for her behaviour. She hadn't meant to say he was just convenient.

Before she reached his door, it opened. She stopped, preparing herself for what she was going to say, but her mind went blank when she saw a maid leave Leo's room. Her dark hair was dishevelled and her uniform crinkled. She was carrying her shoes.

Leo leaned against the doorway watching the maid leave. He was wearing trousers but nothing else. When he turned, his eyes caught Olivia's and he stared at her. Heat passed between them as his green eyes looked at her steadily. For a moment, he looked guilty.

Olivia's breath hitched.

Leo shook his head and the guilty expression vanished, replaced by a wolfish grin. Leo padded back into his room, shutting the door behind him. Throwing her shoulders back, Olivia strode along the corridor, past Leo's room. I am a Nevrakis. He is beneath me.

                                      ***************************************************

The court was gathered outside in the sunshine for brunch. It was a buffet, with macaroons, pain au chocolate, breakfast muffins, toast, coffee and jasmine tea.

Liam, Hana, Maxwell and Penelope were standing under a cherry blossom tree, talking. Maxwell had brought over a plate full of macaroons for him and Hana to share. So far, they both liked the cappuccino flavour one.

Penelope held a cup of jasmine tea in her hand. She was speaking to Liam about his meeting with the People's Committee. Many believed Penelope to be a little lost, always confused and could only be relied on to talk about poodles, but Liam felt she was underestimated. Whenever he had spoken to her, she showed great intellect and an interest in the country.

Maxwell found that every so often, he would reach out to take Hana's hand, but remembering they were in public, he had to stop himself. He hated having to stop himself. All he wanted was to kiss her and show her off, saying that she was with him. Instead, he sipped on his coffee and tried to ignore his feelings.

'You really must visit my family,' Penelope told Liam. 'My parents are so keen to host you again!'

She took a sip of her jasmine tea. 'They adore you. I keep saying they should come visit the palace for a weekend but they worry -'

Penelope began to cough. Liam frowned. 'Penelope, are you okay?'

She nodded but her coughing continued. Soon, she was spluttering and Liam noted with alarm that her face was turning purple. 'Oh god, Penelope -'

Hana reached out to her, clapping her on the back but it didn't help. Penelope continued coughing until the sound started to sound very much like she was choking.

She grabbed hold of Liam's arms tightly. Liam stared at her and his heart pounded when Penelope crumpled to the ground. 'Someone call an ambulance!' Liam ordered to the courtiers who were now surrounding them.

Her face had changed from purple to extremely red and froth was beginning to appear around the sides of her mouth. She choked and only Hana had the presence of mind to get down on the ground beside her and tilt her head so she wouldn't choke on the foam.

Liam was on his knees, holding Penelope's hands, trying to soothe her, even though his head was full of panic. He didn't know what to do. He felt helpless as he watched her cough some more, choking.

Her violet eyes looked up into his. Her terror reflected his own. 'I knew I shouldn't have left my poodles..' she whispered.

Her hand went slack.

Liam's vision blurred as tears escaped. He held Penelope close to him, trying to protect her from the world. This was his fault.

'An ambulance is here!' someone called out.

But it didn't matter now because Penelope was gone.