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#couldnt draw for the past 3 days
hellcifrogs · 2 years
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I've been wanting to draw team Shinichi again for a while and today was finally the day~ Only Shinichi and Sho (kid and adult) this time
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cchipollo · 3 months
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@technicolor-dreamss and i made another au..... romcom au. he has more drawings in his instagram post CHECK IT OUT
um. more explanation below
i was telling mark i reckoned this au was a combination of a modern (late 2000s) au, human q au, college au, lawyer au. um. picard liking q back au.
basic gist is months ago beverly's husband jack dies after a nasty work accident. so shes attempting to press charges or sue or whatever the legal word for that is but the company jack worked at (ferengi stand ins) repeatedly pressures every lawyer she hires.
picard bumps into q one day and spills tea on him and q's like “oi dick watch where you're going i have to go to court” and picard's annoyed but he shrugs it off. then they keep bumping into each other after that
q starts cyberstalking picard on facebook on their 2nd meeting and hands him his business card at like. the 2nd or 3rd meeting
anyway, so the statute of limitation or whatever is running out on the whole case against this company and beverly's like "i wont be able to get justice for jack if i cant find a lawyer who's willing to stick with me" and picard eventually is like wait. hm.
he calls up q and is like i need your help
hilarity ensues ! yahoo !
other than. well literally every other change theres a couple of changes within the characters relationships with each other, like vash has only dated q and only meets picard after q does.
of course jack dying way later. it might be worse for wesley this way now that i think about it. sorry wes
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mytyldotwav · 6 months
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The contrast is VERY amusing to me
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arolesbianism · 6 months
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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boygirlctommy · 1 year
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ok i really need to rewatch these games bcus i dont understand what half of these notes are referencing but me and my brother decided the order was 4-> 5-> 2-> 1-> 3-> 6
#my post#we did not in fact figure out when most things happened tho#why did we day fnaf4 took place in 1984#we also said it was the first freddy fazbears pizza location (surrounded by many many question marks)#and just. shoved the mci into there????#we put william telling mike to fix elizabeth just after 4. and then had afton get springtrapped immediately afterwards lol loser#uhhhhhh fuck we didnt figure out when elizabeth died though. just a vague arrow pointing towards the past#although if we put SL as right after 4 then that wouldve happened before 4#decided charlie emily died sometime between summer and november 1987. based on what? couldnt tell you there is no context on this paper#this is based on like really long discussions/arguments we had last year ok i dont remember what we said#oh theres lots of contradictions in here as well#yeah this is still confusing as hell. thinking back i dont think we even really agreed on the tl which is why theres 2 different ones here#but we dont need to talk about that#mmmm my main issue with putting 5 after 4 is that in that cutscene we see the aftermath of 3#which would mean it takes place after 3#so. it *could* also be 4-2-1-3-5-6#goddammit this still doesnt help me figure out how to draw michael#mmmm ok well michael is confused that hes not dead meaning he doesnt know how remnant works. ok. he wants to find his dad. ok.#so that one theory of mike like helping william and collecting remnant for him makes no sense. bcus he doesnt KNOW why hes still alive and#surely hed understand if he knew what remnant was. ugh but IF 5 is after 3 and hes not helping william WHY does he go to 2 and 1?? why is#he fucking with the animatronics? what are his fucking MOTIVATIONS in any of this?? well he could go to 2 and 1 if hes looking for william.#i mean doesnt someone use one of the suits in fnaf 2? and the extra rooms get boarded uohmygod no FUCK william couldnt have been springtrap#ped just after 4 if he used one of the suits in 2. goddamn it ok so hes springtrapped during 2 and they board him up in one o the rooms.#i am simply talking myself in circles i do not understand anything any more than i did like an hour ago
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prideprejudce · 1 month
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I think alot more people would enjoy the show if they learned to see Rhaenyra and Alicent as Unreliable Narrators, and characters who are supposed to have glaring flaws and weaknesses.
Mandatory preface- There are Issues™️ with season 2 that are its own other ask- but the complaints ive seen about character assassination on both women kind of tells me ppl just wanted to see the two just GirlBossing around, not being tragic characters trapped in their own circumstances.
For Alicent specifically- she just isn't written to be Cersei 2.0, and while it was really interesting to see motherhood from cersei's point of view, its already been done!! I actually prefer seeing Alicent's mercurial clinging to and abandoning motherhood- its interesting!! She was made a mother at what- 15? An age where you truly arent mentally developed enough to raise 3 kids, AND be a child bride, AND be a queen, (AND be a lesbian).
Alicent is interesting to me because she's stunted at 15 years old, she's an adult woman who talks to and sometimes bullies her kids as if they are her peers, and is obsessed with her childhood crush(es). She hasn't built any new relationships* past the ones she was entangled with as a teenager, she's obsessed with both acting out to make SOMEONE see that shes suffering, (she's honestly pretty blatant for someone who prides themselves on being the Temperate Voice of Reason) but also to erase herself and reset to before she had to marry the king, before aemma died.
I think most of her 'bad out of character' decisions are just these two impulses winning out, her trying to force a reset, go back to a time where none of this had happened yet, when things were simpler and she had love and every day wasn't the worst day of her life™️.
She sleeps with cole, the man she thought was pretty at 15 (her last uncomplicated attraction just before it all went wrong and aemma died) -she doesnt seem to like it that much, but she does seem compelled to seek him out, esp when upset- shes obsessed with, and desperate to reconnect with Rhaenyra, her childhood best friend (and first love) and get back to where they were as kids, AND she still treats and asks her father for absolution as if he's still the only authority that matters to her just like she did at 15. Alot of her 'victim complex/bewildered they took it so far' behaviour in the plotting of rhaenyra's usurption reads to me like a teenager in over her head, she talked big game and now its real and shes panicking!! She's tragic BECAUSE she's still a teenager- so stunted shes unable to meaningfully grow up and learn to make healthier choices for herself, or move on and stop trying to grasp at the 'if i could just go back' urge.
As a mother, I think this creates an interesting dynamic as well, and I do like that in the casting even, she seems closer in age to her kids than rhaenyra does to hers. I think the contrast ppl are drawing with Alicent Protecting Her Kids in season1 compared to her giving them up in season two isn't bad writing to me, just massive differences in context. Sure she protected Aemond in driftmark, but we cant ignore that she probably felt humiliated by her husband choosing rhaenyra's side over hers in front of everyone, did it seem like a grown woman fighting for her son?? or a teenager furious with her ex winning one over her again? or both!! both sides twisted together is still interesting! When she protected Aegon from Rhaenys, is stepping in front of her son the king to protect him from the enemies dragon fire not the most romantic daydream of a deserving death a child bride could come up with?? Was it the impulse to protect the son she couldnt decide if she loved or hated, or was it to have the most heroic death possible to escape the reality that she sees coming. And if Rhaenyra hears about how Brave she was in the face of a dragons maw, and cries about it forever and feels sooo bad and regrets it til the day she dies, thats an added bonus. I think Alicent loves her kids, but is teenager selfish about HOW she loves and protects her kids, and is unable to be a mature, consistant, protective mother to them when she also sees them as having ruined her life. I think in season 2 when she 'gives them up' shes relieved, and once again following the compulsion of 'if i reset to when Rhaenyra was heir, i had no sons, and i wasn't married or queen, everything will be better'. I think theres complexity to it, i think she does love her sons and feels insane about it, but I think Alicent has been trying to Go Back in more and more Intense ways ever since she got married, and we might be giving her sanity more credit than it deserves when it comes to the need to wipe the board clean and go back to being 15.
hey anon are you trying to get married to me or what
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sakasakiii · 1 month
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not really a modern au but more like a weird future timeline thing where beach hermit maglor Hibernates™ all through the 2nd and 3rd ages & misses the last boats to Valinor.... thus resulting in him skulking about history until he ends up living among modern day humans haha?? the kicker is that he one day finds an abandoned baby thats all-too-suspiciously like a certain dead brother and becomes a single dad-younger brother-adopted guardian person...
i wrote a few pages of this back in 2022 but never really thought abt it further after i started posting less frequently hahaha.... heres just some feel good domestic sketches of this AU bc i miss drawing modern clothes 🤭 i have sooo many thoughts about it that i couldnt fit into these doodles !! its quite a lot of yapping so feel free to skip past the cut haha
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assorted au thoughts:
i planned for maglor to eventually find all 6 of his brothers one by one through the power of Accidental Child Acquisition ✨ example: he'd spot a kid lurking around some woods near his home and eventually realise said wild child living amongst stray dogs is a bit too similar to celegorm
i just couldnt fit in the time to draw that this round... maybe next time!
though he's raising reincarnated-Maedhros, i think it makes more sense for him to give him a modern name and not explicitly call him Nelyo/Maitimo/Russandol just bc he'd not want to get his own hopes up or shove said identity onto the kid
(the occasional 'hey Nelyo' does slip out by accident from time to time however)
i think as Mae-the-kid grows up he will in time start to remember bits and pieces of his original identity? with the nicer familial things (like valinor, his brothers, feanor and nerdanel) first, and then the darker things (kinslayings, angband, war) once he's grown up that Maglor will struggle explaining or even helping him through
i promise this is a wholesome au 😭
side characters include a high-strung but good guy policeman named Officer Borden who's very suspicious of Maglor bc of all the random kids he keeps adopting.... and his younger brother Farren, who happens to be Maglor's scholarly coworker
as well as Maglor's next door neighbour Morgan, a witch-woman married to some guy named Hugh... she's got 3 kids who visit from time to time but from what Maglor's heard, the oldest son is followed by misfortune and has supposedly never met his youngest sister...?
credit to Ted Nasmith and Cartoon Network for some assets used in the doodles :D
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milezyuni · 1 month
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𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬 𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑼𝑵 ☀️
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disclaimer; pls be nice this is my first time writing something !
Tags : sunshine reader x grumpy logan // fluff !! // logan in a secret big softie // slight angst // no use of y/n // age gap // im bad at tagging sorry // logan is lowkey emo !! // shit grammar
logan sat at the bar downing another glass of ice cold whiskey when someone sat in the empty seat next to him
“logaaannn !! ” You said with that big smile that never seemed to leave your face. God you were just so happy and smiley all the time i mean jesus why were you so..so nice? why did you spend all your time talking to him when he clearly didnt want shit to do with you ?
He looked over at you and merely grunted in response "so i got you a little something.." you had your hands behind your back and took them out to reveal a plushie of some sort of brown bear.. ferret kind of animal " its a wolverine!! i saw it in the gift shop when i went to the zoo with wadei mean i didnt even know that wolverine was a real thing let alone an animal! so i bought for you since yknow..youre wolverine" you smiled
logan looked at you, then at the toy and then back at you "...thanks" he watched as you smiled in response waved goodbye and went home.
this was a daily encounter, you would visit him in the bar ramble about your day before asking him about his day (which he would respond with a single sentence) sometimes you would leave him little notes or presents and he would pretend to not give a shit about them or you. But the more this routine went on the less Logan could ignore his feelings about you, he couldnt ignore the way his heart skipped a beat when your eyes met his , when your hand grazed his or when you smiled at him...and i mean that smile made logan feel like a lovesick puppy. but he didnt want to love you, because the last time he loved someone shit went sideways and everyone ended up being hurt and the last thing he wanted to do on this earth was hurt you
you walked into the bar your headphone blasting your favourite song , you look up and to your surprise you dont see logan in his usual seat, "hey uhm have you seen logan today? yknow hairy buff dude-" the bartender shakes his head , you assume hes just hungover and is still sleeping at home so you sit down and wait...and you wait....and you wait till 4 hours had past and there was no sight of him, so you got up and left the bar to head over to logans place to make sure he was okay
logan groaned as he heard a knock at his door, he pulled himself off of the couch and stumbled to the door and opened it "logan? are you alright? i was waiting for like 3 hours at the bar and you never showed up" he didnt come to the bar because he knew you would be there.. he didnt want to see you because he knew that if he did he wouldnt be able to push his feelings for you away. his mind began to race he needed to make you stay away.
"jesus fuckin' christ.. do you never take a fuckin' hint?? all you do is follow me around like some parasite. is it even possible for you to shut the fuck up ??" he hissed. his words hitting you life a knife through the back, you felt your eyes sting as you held back tears "im sorry--- im sorry" you practically ran off, all you wanted to do was escape that humiliating moment you wanted to forget it even ever happend.
Logan watched as you sped off his heart filling with guilt, he noticed a folded up piece of paper on the ground where you once stood, you mustve dropped it. He stomped back inside falling back onto his couch as he opened the piece of paper to find a drawing of him smiling with the lyrics from the song 'here comes the sun' scribbled next to it.
-------------------------> [ requests are open ! ] <------------------------
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babyisa1 · 4 months
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hiiii:) can you please write a subby tom fic?? if you’re comfortable ofcs :D!
hii :) of course! thank u sm for the request lovely <3
⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ please mama/TOM
synopsis: tom has been very bad and knowingly crossed the rules you set out for him - giving in to his flirtatous nature and getting awfully close with a few girls at a party. as a result, you refused to help him out when he needed your touch.
warnings: smut, mommy kink (mama), subby tom & dom reader, oral sex (reader recieving), unprotected p in v and thats it i think
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7:31pm
„please mama..“ tom whines against your neck, planting open mouthed kisses on your shoulder. he has been like this for the past three days, constantly begging for you to finally satisfy him. your punishment follows the fact that tom had flirted with a bunch of girls at a houseparty, knowing your eyes were piercing through you all. he tried to make you jealous, what a dumb little boy. his measly attempt slapped him right back in the face when you refused to fuck, something you usually never do.
this was especially difficult for tom. you two would fuck like rabbits, and i mean like 3 times a day MINIMUM. he was super whiny now, the painfully obvious imprint of his clothed cock proving that. he was used to your punishments, but this was one he couldnt handle, leading you to the present moment.
„m‘sorry.. ill make you feelsho good mama i promise..“ he muffles against your neck, his hand hicking up your shorts to draw soft circles on the warm skin there. you groan lowly, you too had suffered from the lack of touch. you pry his head off of you, gazing into his dark eyes.
„youve been very bad, what makes you think you deserve this?“ you question, watching toms eyebrows furrow in frustration. „please.. m‘sorry i really am! please just.. let me touch you, let me do anything.. it really hurts“ he pouts, referring to the almost swolen buldge in his pants, begging for release. before you could answer, he reattaches his lips to your neck, sucking harshly while softly pushing you into the couch in the process.
you knew you had to stand strong, but fuck. it felt soo good, and tom knew exactly how to touch you to make you give in. you rake your fingers through his dreads/braids signalling your approval as he latches off of your neck with a pop, revealing a dark purple mark that was glistening wet in his saliva. you could feel a smirk tugging on his lips, excitement taking over as he hurriedly reaches for his pants.
„ah ah ah.. on your knees.“ you demand, subconsciously opening your legs to make space for him infront of the couch. tom complies, lowering himself infront of you and hooking his fingers around the strap of your shorts and panties. he pulls them down at an agonisingly slow rate in an attempt to tease you slightly. „behave tom, or youll get nothing“ you exclaim, causing tom to gulp and quickly pull them down as you shake them off your feet.
his mouth waters at the sight of your wet cunt, and he quickly throws your legs over his shoulders. „so fucking hot..“ he mumbles as you felt his hot breath on your heat. wasting no time, he wraps his soft lips around your clit, lapping his wetness around yours as he massages it with his tounge. your hand flies to toms head, pushing him deeper into you as you let out a shaky moan.
„shit- youre doing so well.. so good for mama“ you manage to blurt out as toms tounge switches between flattening on your clit and flicking it, sending waves of pleasure through you. he smiles at your praises before darting his tounge in your hole, deliciously hitting that gummy spot inside of your repeatedly.
„haa- fuck!“ you whimper as you buck your hips upwards, grinding into his mouth as your grip on his head tightens. „mmf.. you taste sho‘good mama“ tom muffles against your cunt, sloppy squelching noises filling the room as his wet muscle continues to work on you.
you felt the pleasure build up by the second while toms deep moans vibrate against your cunt, his nose nudging your clit. „shit- cumming!“ you gasp, your orgasm crashing down on you as your hips shudder. tom swipes his tounge up your folds, licking you clean while slightly overstimulating you. he finally detatches himself from you as your eyes wander downwards, staring at his wet chin covered in your juices. he smiled brightly, you couldnt ignore how stupidly cute he was.
you giggle, standing up and pushing him onto the couch. „what a good boy.. how bad do you want your reward?“ you breath out while climbing on top of him, straddling his lap as you firmly palm his crotch. his jaw flies open; „mnngh..“ he chokes out, „s‘bad mama..“
you havent touched him in days, this man was STARVED. poor little tom was begging for release, practically a whiny and whimpering mess beneath you. he stomps his foot in frustration, seeking more friction. „plea-” „stop being so ungrateful and take what mama gives you“ you hiss, retracting your hand from his crotch.
„no! im sorry please- just please touch me!“ tom begs, his lip slightly quivering. suddenly you feel sting in your heart, you knew you were testing his limits and taking it almost too far. your face softens as you give in, reaching for his belt and placing a quick kiss on his cheek.
tom bites his lip in anticipation as you yank his jeans and boxers down in one go, his cock bouncing free and slightly hitting his abdomen. you knew it was bad, but seeing toms red and nerdy tip, veins buldging around his girthy cock was admittedly worse than you thought.
you lift your hips, your hand barely being able to wrap around the base of his length as you rub his tip between your warm folds, covering you in allll the pre cum that gloops out of him. tom whimpers, his hands flying to your hips as you slowly sink down on him, relishing the burning feeling of his cock deliciously stretching you out.
your cunt molds perfectly around him, the sudden warm and tight feeling after being denied it for days could make him cum on the spot. you lock eyes with him, lifting yourself slowly before forcefully slamming back down on him, forming a rough pace. you watch his face contort into pleasure as his fingers grip your waist so tightly they would for sure leave marks.
„jesu- fuck!“ you almost scream, his thick cock repeatedly ramming against your favorite spot as tom throws his head back, hitting the top of the couch. the hot smell of sex lingered in the air as the soft slapping noises increased. his cock felt soo good, you had no idea how you could refuse it for so many days.
meanwhile tom couldnt get any words out; „mm..haa- ngfuck!“ is all that escaped his lips, his brain turning to mush as he goes completely dumb. the effect you had on him turned you on to the max, tom never hid his moans like other guys. right now he was a whimpering mess beneath you, moans slipping out of his mouth each time you ass meets his hips.
you grip his shoulders tightly to steady yourself as you feel your orgasm approach, both of your bodies rocking abruptly with each forceful slam of your hips. you peeled your eyes open to gaze at tom, whose jaw was hung low and his face covered in a thin sheen of sweat. his droopy eyes were barely open, you couldnt see his pupils as they rolled back into his head.
tom lets out and inaudible scream as the warm wave of his orgasm crashes over him, ropes of his hot ecstasy shooting into you. your body shakes as he fills you up to the brim, cum leaking out of your cunt as it sends you into yours. you collapse on top of him, relishing the intensity of your high.
after a few moments you both collect yourselves, and you pull yourself away from him to plant soft kisses on his sweaty lips. „mmh.. apology accepted, you were so good for me“ you praise, observing toms fucked out face as he giggles in approval.
.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.
first time i wrote a subby tom fic, i hope its not too shit ;-;
masterlist
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yangkitties · 1 year
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sick days ✩ p.sh
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pairing: park sunghoon x gn!reader [established relationship] || word count: 0.7k genre: fluff || warnings: sick fic, nudity but in a non-sexual way, surprisingly proof read but as usual im not so sure </3, mentions of pills (hoon gives reader a tablet), lmk if i missed anything!! synopsis: being sick sucked. but it sucked a little less with sunghoon by your side, in sickness and in health. note: ngllll i liked the way this turned out <3 my idiot irl (gonna call her that from now on LMFAO) fell sick last week and i pulled this out of my ass to cheer her up :] oh and i fell sick like. day before yesterday. so. celebratory sick fic !! uhm anyways asks are appreciated plz come talk 2 me !! also sorry for the terrible formatting i couldnt find any other pictures that matched The Vibe yk >:(
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You hated being sick. It was the worst feeling in the world. The absolute hatred you had towards the stuffy feeling of a clogged nose and the sluggish fatigue that settled into your bones could never be measured. And the worst part? You couldn’t even kiss your boyfriend to make you feel better. 
But Sunghoon was an angel whenever you got sick. He stuck by your side and took care of you and made sure you had everything you needed and more. 
And this time was no different. Flopping over in your shared bed, you groaned as you couldn’t move even an inch without feeling like your body was made out of jelly. 
‘Y/n stop moving so much, you’re going to make your body pains worse.’ Sunghoon walks in with a tray holding a bowl of hot soup and some tablets. ‘Eat. And then take these tablets. I called Jay and he said these should make you feel better soon.’
‘Hoon.’ You call out softly as you watch him collect the tissues lying around the room and throwing away the empty tablet sheets. He hums in response, mother hen mode taking over him as he moves around the room. 
‘Hoon, will you please feed me?’ You ask, voice low and stuffy. He giggles, turning to take a good look at you. ‘Oh my baby, come here.’ He helps you sit up before taking the bowl in his hands. He scoots closer to you, carefully feeding you spoon after spoon, rubbing your back when you cough, and gently kissing your forehead when you finish the bowl. 
As you gulp down your tablet, Sunghoon disappears into the bathroom to draw a bath for you. He comes out two minutes later, bottom of his shirt sprinkled with droplets. 
‘Hoonie… how’d you get splashed just filling up the tub???’ You question him incredulously. He just shrugs, giggling as he guides you to the bathroom. Slowly stripping you, he helps you walk to the tub, grip on your waist firm. 
You slip in slowly, the warm water a welcome feeling after the terrible temperature shifts you’ve had the whole day. Sunghoon silently begins to bathe you, softly scrubbing your arms and legs, and even going as far as to wash your hair. 
The silence is comforting, Sunghoon’s slender fingers massaging your scalp as you start to grow drowsy. ‘Hoon… thank you for this. ‘m so sorry you have to run around taking care of me..’ you apologise, genuinely feeling bad for making him work so much. 
He playfully pushes your head down a bit, clicking his tongue at you. ‘Be quiet Y/n, it’s literally my job to take care of you. What kind of idiot boyfriend leaves their partner to take care of themselves when they can barely move?’ He finished washing your hair, now moving onto slowly drying your hair with a towel. 
You wrap your arms around his damp waist, head nuzzling into the expanse of his abs. Finishing up with your hair, he places another sweet kiss on the crown of your head. He helps you dress into one of his oversized shirts and a pair of comfortable shorts, melting at how cute you looked. ‘C’mon baby, let’s get you to bed.’ 
Scooping you up in his arms bridal style, he carries you back to bed, placing you gently on the sheets. He tucks you in before moving away to change out of his damp clothes. 
A giggle slips past your lips as you watch him undress, a slight blush spreading across your face. ‘Like what you see, hm?’ He teases you, slipping into a shirt before walking over to sit next to you. 
‘Ugh, I absolutely hate not being able to cuddle you to sleep.’ You whine as he takes your hand in his. ‘I know baby, but if I fall sick, we just can’t cuddle for longer.’ He uses his other hand to trace the lines on your palm, shivers sliding down your body. ‘I hate it when you’re all sensible. What happened to my silly loser boyfriend?’ You grumble as he laughs, kissing your knuckles. 
You settle back into the pile of pillows, Sunghoon’s pretty nails tracing shapes and meaningless words onto your palm. You’ve always found that habit of his comforting, helping you sleep almost instantly. The combination of his lazy tracing and the medication you’ve been taking makes you insanely drowsy, so soon enough, you’re out like a light. You drift off into a comforting slumber, knowing he’ll be here when you wake up, waiting for you.
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©️ yangkitties 2023 do not copy, plagiarise, or repost
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ppnuggie · 9 months
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      MTMTE x gn reader
    『 rodimus ,, ultra magnus ,, chromedome ,, rewind ,, megatron ,, whirl ,, tailgate ,, swerve ,, cyclonus ,, first aid ,, ratchet ,, drift ,, gender neutral reader 』
  -> christmas on the lost light
  — fluff ,, sfw ,, crack
  — sorry i havent been uploading as much 😭💔 ive been busy with work and school ,, but im on christmas break so hopefully ill be able to get through the few requests i have sitting in my inbox rn and reopen requests :(( ima try to start uploading more now as much as i can ❤️ heres a little something for christmas though ! hope you all enjoy christmas this year <3
• it was natural for the bots aboard to be interested in human customs ,, having lived in a war most their life . death and violence were something they were quite used to experiencing ,, never really having the time to experience anything outside of the horrors of war itself .
• swerve was one of the few main bots that pestered you often about human holidays . cybertronians didn't celebrate much ,, unless they were a group of autobots who just gave some decepticons a what-for .
• then again ,, swerve usually asked many questions regarding things on earth and what humans do . sometimes you humored him ,, sometimes you told little lies ,, like if you clapped three times in a mall it would be a sign that a tiger was loose . it was quite fun to put silly nonsense in that processor of his at times .
• though when it came to christmas he would not leave you alone . whether you celebrated it or not ,, you still explained the custom in general to him . how old saint nicholas would mosey on down the chimney ,, eat the cookies and drink the milk left out for him ,, and leave presents under the tree lit well and adorned with ornaments .
• you even pulled up the santa tracker for swerve ,, showing him where santa would go and be ,, how on christmas eve he would be flying around with his reindeer and leave presents
• hearing all of this intrigued chromedome and rewind ,, as well as tailgate and whirl . cyclonus didn't understand the hype and belief of having an old random man leave gifts in your house and eat your food even if left out specifically him . tailgate was thrilled though ,, a funny little old man leaving him gifts seemed so heavenly to him . chromedome and rewind ,, however ,, had different opinions . rewind was interested in this human holiday ,, whilst chromedome shared the same opinion as cyclonus . how were you sure this 'santa' guy wasnt gonna rob you ? and when you were sleeping nonetheless .
• rodimus already knew of this tradition ,, as did ratchet and ultra magnus . rodimus was quite ecstatic at the idea of having a christmas party ,, watching christmas movies and sipping on energon . maybe he could even have you sit on his lap ,, all cozy in those soft blankets and sippin on your own mug of hot chocolate .
• ratchet couldnt care less ,, grumbling something about how 'you humans and your holidays and customs' . though he definitely didnt deny the offer of going to this christmas party ,, it was nice to spend some time that didn't involve life threatening situations for once .
• ultra magnus ,, on the other hand ,, was quite picky about how the christmas party should be set up . he even tried to ban home alone ,, saying he didnt want rodimus to get any ideas from the traps in the movie . the last thing he needed was to end up in one the next day . though ,, the many outweigh the few ,, and so home alone was allowed in the movie marathon .
• now when you told him about the grinch ,, he wasnt sure if you were mocking him by saying it was an actual movie or if he should be concerned for what this dr.seuss guy was drawing . i mean ,, have you seen how hairy the grinch is ? or how the whos in whoville are shaped ? pointy noses and all ,, it was quite new to magnus .
• megatron ,, who overheard everything ,, already knew he wasnt going to be wanted at the party . it made sense ,, his past and everything he's done to earth and its people . though when you asked him to come ,, that you personally wanted him there ,, he swore he felt his spark stop for a second . he only gave a nod ,, whilst ravage bickered to him that night in his habsuite .
• whirl ,, to say the least ,, was prepared to fight santa . he was watching the santa tracker ,, waiting for the jolly fellow to pop up so whirl could fly down and bring out the big guns ( that brainstorm recently made ,, not yet tested out or put through a test trial so lord knows what may go wrong) . magnus almost had to throw him in the brig if he couldnt contain his sudden rage and fury for the old man .
• first aid was somewhat interested ,, never having celebrated a holiday before . it would be nice ,, getting together and doing nothing but watching movies all day . he hadnt seen movies from earth that much either ,, besides a few fast n furious ones here and there . needless to say ,, he was somewhat concerned for humans need to trash cars . he cringed a little on the inside ,, watching those perfectly good cars blow up . it was like a horror movie but for cybertronians .
• during the movie marathon ,, whirl tried to sneak violent night and black christmas in ,, saying they were also christmas movies and that they should watch them . magnus ended up throwing them out ,, saying no one really felt like seeing dying people during this one time of peace .
• drift enjoyed the nightmare before christmas ,, the claymation alone was enough to captivate him . then the designs of the characters ,, the music and songs ,, even jack's childlike wonder for christmas matched his own (in a few ways) . during that movie you sat with him ,, sharing a few facts about the movie itself . how long it took to make and how hard it is to do claymation movies .
• during the polar express you stayed with rewind and chromedome ,, snuggling in between the two and sippin on your hot chocolate . rewind enjoyed watching the train on the ice whilst chromedome puffed about how he coulda easily done that himself and saved everyone . you only rolled your eyes ,, muttering out a sure as you fought back a smile .
• during a break in between the movies you noticed megatron ,, standing awkwardly in the corner with his own cube of fools energon in servo . you smiled at the bot ,, walking up to him and having a small conversation with him . you didnt honestly think he’d show up ,, but youre glad he did . he let you sit with him during one of the movies ,, bonding well with the giant bot .
• he was quite warm ,, heat coming from off his body as you huddled close to him . he tucked his servo around you ,, worried you may fall off . for a few moments during the movie you swore you saw him smile at some of the corniest parts ,, or chuckle softly at some of the dumbest jokes .
• you took turns ,, switching between bots during different movies . you would sit in their laps ,, explain little things you liked about the movie playing and share a few things of your own childhood during this time of the year .
• it was nice ,, to say the least . having time to the bots ,, doing things that reminded you of home . it wasnt the same ,, but it was the thought that counted . spending time with them peacefully was more than enough for you ,, and definitely more than you could ask for this christmas .
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lizaluvsthis · 8 months
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SMG4: You used to be cool...
"HEY LIZ! howd that new epis-"
*DEEP BREATHING...*
*MOVES AWAY WIPS AND DROPS A NEW HYPERFIXATION*
*thanking @shygirl4991 for putting up some thoughts for the new episode! I really like to read those :)*
You- HAVE NO- F-CKING IDEA HOW LONG I QAS WAITING FOR THE "VILLAIN" THING. GAHHH!!!
OKAY SO-
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wait sh-t wrong image...
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SO THIS! RIGHT AFTER EGGMAN HAS OBSERVED SMG3 FROM THIS SHT- HE PUTS THREE ON A TEST AND THEN AFTER THOSE STUFF HE REACHED THE FINAL ONE- WHERE HE HAS TO UNALIVE HIS "ARCH NEMESIS" BUT WHAT EGGMAN DIDNT KNOW IS THAT THEY WERE BOTH "EX" RIVALS NOW.
BUT-BUT WHY???
cant we all just talk about the part when THREE WASNT CONSIDERED THE "COOL EVIL VILLAIN" to his other villain mates from what he USED to be back in the old days of his shenanigans??
Eggman doesnt see that our man three has had his thing called- " DEVELOPMENT " RIGHT AFTER THE WHOLE THING...
Three has gone far too long- three has been through so much and so many things had changed including him and his way of seeing things. He had gone too soft from the past few years and eggman sure had been catching up on his daily does.
EGGMAN. However. He considered to be three's idol back then- but now? He sees three as a 'low level of villain' because the three he knew before had so much destruction and destroying stuff.
Eggman missed the three he knew, the one who USED to be a total top Villain.
SMG3 has never realized how much things had changed and that he too did. Now bringing up this part
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This part when three was shocked when Eggman told him that his final task was to "KILL" his arch nemesis. SMG3 is flabberghasted.
In his lair- room¿ he was practicing his shooting skill (pointing it at four) for the right aiming AND to finish him off.
See- I noticed something here- SMG3 couldn't bring himself up to do it for seconds... just a single detail of his hand SHAKING while holding a gun, pointing it at SMG4 (which is just a picture of him from a cardboard)
He couldnt do it- just- COULDNT. He had those memories flashing back to him, his hand holding with SMG4, how they both used to bond together, how he said they were FRIENDS and that he really meant to say that infront of his face, with four's reaction.
Notice how the music came to get intense during the flashbacks? Where we saw this event from Three drawing him and smg4 after 23th of wotfi? This is the most important part. That HE SMG3 drew them both together in his personal diary, a MOMENT of a good memory he and four created.
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But oh wait- how did this come to three shooting him still? Even tho it was just a confetti? Why did he still shot SMG4 (on that picture)? I'll tell you another reason. "Christmas Wars" :) lets go back to that shall we?
"You'd consider partying with the guy that tried to kill us?"
Now THIS CANON EVENT. so happens to ruin Three's mood. THATS where he onwardly shoots four's picture with a gattling gun... a REASON. Why.
This triggered him SO much from the memories he spent with Four and what he'd thought about his ex rival.
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After Three kept being indenial to eggdog that he doesn't care about SMG4 and that "he had NO character development" with him.
That was all a lie. (We already know that- but it's still important and relating to the episodes HOW MUCH of a bastard SMG4 is to SMG3, he continues to be friends with Four as he moves on.)
-the gun to four scene-
During this scene when Three barges in with Four making a new meme for his content Tomato Soup. Four never even thought about the things that could ever happen when three is there. He simply went on with the usual "friends conversations" talk.
Because four knows that they were both friends now. And that he knows 3 has gone soft. With an emotionless face, he approached to Four holding a GUN.
To where Four noticed- "oh a glock- watcha gonna do with that...?" He felt nervous and worried something with three carrying it- "Oh, something that I should of done long ago..." With Three holding up a gun and pointing it at Four, SMG4 screamed "THREE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
The detail... his eyes? From a pinch of second his eyes when he LOOKED infront of Four's? He felt sorry to himself. He had been pointing this gun at SMG4 and the pain he's baring from his chest lived on with mixtures of feelings he had developing with Four next to him.
He was unsure. He couldnt decide- because HIM as SMG3 he wanted to be the most evil villain known of everyone and other of his villain buddies. Including Eggman. And with another spot he also wanted to make eggman prove to him that he hasnt gone soft.
that HE- would actually do it- for himself to prove that he is better...
But he cant- couldnt he?
Lets point this straight- we all get it- three has a soft spot- and that is SMG4 too- he could NEVER do that to him. He promised, he swore, he declared it, he announced it in official.
"Remember what I said? W-we- We're Friends!"
He will never EVER. take this part of him. He will never REMOVE THIS BECAUSE HE BUILT THIS DEVELOPING FRIENDSHIP WITH SMG4
he could never.
SOOO he ends up shooting the tomato with four gettin all worried n stuff- making that "blood splatter" from the window to where eggman mistaken that he actually "did" kill SMG4
SMG3 backfires on Eggman with a sneak attack,
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"Like usual-"
Okay three- we get it. You annoy his ass back when he annoys you first. You ruin beeg and his dating plan and may or may have shoved a dynamite in four's mouth right after "the inspection" with his coffee request.
But we've never actually seen any other stuff beyond that reach right after wotfi 23... so three... tell me... how USUAL were you trying to put when you've BARELY DONE ANYTHING EVIL THAT RELATES FROM "KILLING" OUR GUY?
Maybe it was all... pure torture of asmr or just ruining four's day... (thats atleast what he'd meant when he said "killing you" with no tensions of doing so in literal)
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When SMG4 looked at three who emotionally cried when he said this line- he still continued to cry (even after when Three smacked his face annoyed with him being a baby)
He still cried at his new meme continuosly. He didnt gave himself a second to think. "If he actually wanted to kill me, then why didnt he just do it already?" "What is stopping him from killing me?"
But no. HE JUST STRAIGHTS UP BEIN ALL OBLIVIOUS AND JUST FOCUSES IN ONE POINT AND CRIES DIRECTLY AT HIS TOMATO SOUP'S DEATH.
NOOO when i THOUGHT. ABOUT THE "allow me to demonstrate" GAVE ME THE REFERENCE FROM ANDRIAS'S WORDS FROM AMPHIBIA "TRUE COLORS" Scene... (if- you guys watched amphibia)
This part when Andrias said "allow me to demonstrate" thats the part he made the whole line about "thats how a thing about friends is it? The more you love em the more it hurts to let them go..." THEN THE LINE CONTINUES WITH HIM DROPPING DOWN THE PROTAGONIST'S FRIEND OFF A HEIGHT-
and seeing this part when- eggman said that? I am... SH-TTING with myself.
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With three expecting to take the hit, but instead he pointed the missle at Four, Three would be expecting that now. But with eggman knowing that he and Four had a bond for a few years and on? HE POINTS IT TO FOUR ON PURPOSE. TO SEE HOW THREE WOULD BE ACTING.
Some of you might say "yeah we get it- he pointed that gun at four so whats up about it?" UM- EXCUSE ME... *COUGH* HE- WAS POINTING AT HIS DEAR FUTURE BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND-/HJ
With Three getting a bit too protective and tried defending SMG4 it was all on worth the time. As he squashed four's newly made meme, this is referenced from "mario's spicy day" where back back back BACKKKK in the episode where Four had destroyed Three's whole production area he had took time to work on.
SMG4 destroyed his children. Children of his own that were his MEMES. And putting it here when Four had his own memes as his children? IT WAS HIS- TURN TO SPIN THE TABLES AND PUNCH IT AT FOUR'S FACE.
To let him experience.
The suffering and pain he had done. Thats why... he laughed at him.
With SMG3 putting out his true speech from "I am happy with just the way I am..." he TENSIONALLY- PLACED- HIS RIGHT HAND AT SMG4'S SHOULDER. standing up at his own. All proud and happy...
Three finally learned his own lesson that he doesnt have to be forced to be like someone that he used to be and the stuff he'd usually did before. Because that was the old him, the old self of his? Is gone now. Three is continuing to bloom from his own way and had things that he ever needed or desired to have. A job of his? Is there, friends? There already, a partner by his side? Is also there! (Barely- but still is!) His twitch strreaming or taking care of his son? Is there!
He has had a new purpose of living and this is the path he chose. So he broke free from just by being himself and not getting pushed by other people by just telling him. "You used to be cool..." "wheres the old smg3 we knew?" "Why arent you the three we know that used to commit world destruction anymore?" "Wheres three?"
You cant call the old three because THIS IS THREE.
This is the baby boy we have and he still grows on and on out of his shell. Leave the man alone ya big bozos because he's having his own development, discovering his own ways between living the life of good and bad.
Three had an amazing development honsetly and I dont like how people say "we want the old three back" but you guys cant.
Anyways- these are my messages and uhhh a whole essay or... something- I'M GLAD YOU TOOK YOUR TIME ON READING THIS BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE LOOKING THROUGH THE DETAILS AND SLIGHT REFERENCES THAT'RE PUT IN HERE...
Please dont tell me these two will get foreshadowed... please dont.
AND THAT CALLS OUT FOR YOUR LIZA'S NEW FIXATION FOR THE NEW EPI-
*flat heart rate monitor*
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azumasoroshi · 3 months
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THIS DUDE OH MY GOD. KAYDEN YOU ARE NOT BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS
i started rereading all of eleceed (im in my dark room at 3 am if you couldnt tell) and like. even kartein and kayden’s first interactions reek of exes/divorced energy and we know im all about that shit
like. kayden calling kartein on a private number. meeting on a rooftop overlooking the city. kayden actually taking kartein to his home and being vulnerable and cute with cats near him. you could say he’s doing all this for jiwoo’s sake but i firmly believe there’s no way he would do all that without having some level of trust and a little bit of amicability towards kartein like hello this is kayden break we’re talking about
both of them freaking out over jiwoo refusing treatment and kartein instantly going mom mode LMAOOO
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its 3 am im not cropping those fuckin photos but dude you cant tell me there isnt a little bit of fondness in kartein’s eyes. im an artist those are the fond eyebrows i KNOW that shit i draw those on geto suguru every other day
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lmao how do you know kartein’s limits that well huh gay boy. has he treated you in the past huh. have you stood guard for him before. spill your fucking secrets you’re not SLICK PRETTY BOY
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kayden when jiyoung/inhyuk/suman/jiwoo’s friends/literally anyone else saves jiwoo: good job, thanks, i owe you one
kayden when kartein helps jiwoo: I WILL LEAD YOU TO MY DOMESTIC HOME AND MY FOUR BABY CATS AS MANY TIMES AS YOU LIKE. DO YOU WANT TO SHARE MY CAT BED
good lord ive been looking for the source of that last panel after seeing tumblr screenshots but how could i ever forget the MOST ROMANTIC FUCKING LINE IN ALL OF ELECEED THAT CAME WITH IT. IS THAT NOT LIKE A 500 PAGE ROMANCE NOVEL LINE. FROM KAYDEN FUCKING BREAK
kayden and kartein’s relationship is so funny bc you can tell in the earlier chapters everyone was like ok they’re too alike, they have to be siblings or cousins or something but starting this chapter people started being like hey something’s up with these two. i dont think they’re siblings anymore
and ofc webtoon comments are always obnoxious about this shit and any comment hinting to gay romance in an action webtoon gets like 300 downvotes but they slowly start getting fewer and fewer downvotes and im pretty sure no one downvotes comments about how they’re totally married by the time the lord astra arc rolls around at all which is HILARIOUS to me
the way kartein and kayden openly reveal their weaknesses to each other or assume the other already knows also gets me like. ok mr kayden i dont work with anyone and im all alone break and dr we’re not close enough for me to do a favor for you kartein what the FUCK ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME
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emerxshiu · 6 months
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FORGOTTEN LAND'S SECOND ANNIVERSARY :3
I AM SOOOO BACK
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I started this drawing yesterday around afternoon and finished it just a few minutes earlier.
I went with a messier type of drawing instead of more clean like the elfilin one from yesterday, i find it fun doing it like this, mostly cause i dont have to worry about making it perfectly so i dont get as frustrated as normal. Id place this one as my second best digital drawing. im pretty sure i havent posted what i consider my best digital drawing here, tho i do have it in instagram, i might post it here one day, tho these two are way too tied up, i love how this came out, its not exactly like how i imagined it but its really close to it, and also itd say that since i dont tend to play around lighting that much, this was such a joy to draw and i cant help but stare at it a lot, at least until i start hating it because i made quite a lot of errors. i also changed my elfilis gijinka just a tad bit from last time, but its not that big of a difference, mostly.
ofc i had to draw elfilis for forgotten land's anniversary, i tend to deny it in my head but yeah they're my fave of the kirby characters even tho i hate them a bit. I wanted to draw some more doodles, like, elfilis eating cake, kirby car, a bunch of other stuff (not elfilin cuz i already drew him yesterday) but when i tried i couldnt draw anything more, guess this drawing burned me out a lot, huh?
you can definitly tell i spent all the efforts on him cuz if you look a bit closer to the bottom part you'll see its almost barely detailed, but i mean, they're the focus so make sense i guess for me not add that much detail there. um also, maybe because i dunno i had OVER 130 LAYERS jeez no wonder firealpaca was slowing down so much, i need to manage my layers better next time, tho i did do something i keep forgetting, wich is naming them (most of them at least) that was a real life saver
Also, antares (fecto elfilis' spear/cadaceus), as always, was a pain to draw, but this time its probably been draw the most accurate out of every other drawing ive made with it in it, i didnt notice it was like, a little curved when it reached the blade
some close ups since his face is a bit hard to see
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silly :3
fun fact! actually, this is technically a redraw, somewhere around between february and march i started a fecto elfilis drawing for the first anniversary, but i couldnt finish it in time, and i never finished it
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thats...quite the improvement! (i remember being so proud of it)
also his wings are like that cuz i did not want to draw the pattern, its way too hard, i literally copy pasted it, wait, i was talking about the 2024 version but i looked at the 2023 one and i just noticed it also has the pattern copy pasted, i guess some stuff never changes since i still abuse the ctrl+c ctrl+v to this day
Also i ended up making a huge error there, i was planing to add the phantom spears from orbital pulsar (the attack he does first when you battle them at lab discovera) but theres an innacuracy, when they do the attack, they always close their eyes, i had actually sketched him (well i mean both these drawings are basically the first sketch (2023) or second sketch(2024) with some color, shadows and lighting. i didnt do lineart in the 2024 one cuz i wanted to be a bit like the og i made (too bad i sketched that one with black since the og was sketched with white due to me drawing the bg first)) with his eyes closed but them decided to make them open for a reason i cant remember, maybe i thought itd look nicer? idk
ive had the idea of redrawing this for quite some month now so it was kinda already planned
background cuz i think it came out really pretty
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doesnt have the little stars since without elfilis and the structures it looks fucked up. the actual sky in game is more blue, but the clouds have some orange, in the 2023 ver. i made the sky orange, and in the 2024 ver i wanted it more accurate, but i didnt wanna loose the orange sky, so i did a gradient. pretty...
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also here's a screenshot i took when i was like halfway trough it, its barely noticeable but i changed his mouth in the final drawing
I really love katfl, like a buncha whole lot, its basically almost my first mainline kirby game. 100% the demo, finished the game in almost one day, i literally play it monthly, like, every month i put the card in my switch, start it up, get morpho sword, and go shred elfilis in lab discovera. i would probably not even be here on tumblr and the kirby fandom if it werent for it. and i love it so much i genuinly cannot express how much i like it and treasure it with words or anything
Thank you for reading my unnecesarily long rambles lol
I hope i'll post tomorrow and dont forget like usual
Jambuhbye!
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zepandovski · 1 year
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i have been playing rain world these past 3 days, already beated the monk campaign in the 2 days and survivor campaign today! :D
i couldnt resist so i had to draw a slugcat oc ISJGIUGSH they r just so cute.. im still unsure about their name, idk how the oc naming works OISJDFIUG
im having a lot of fun playing Rain World, i've never thought i would have fun nor beat them in such a short time! but im glad im loving it so far :>
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squeaksinc · 9 months
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2023 creative year in review! 💦💦
The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.
costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!
the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.
thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.
More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.
like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.
I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.
in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.
for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads
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