#count jaskier

[aceofwhump]

Jaskier singing "Enchanted Flowers"

The Witcher 3x07

Elvish lyrics taken from the soundtrack. English taken from the Netflix captions

[tielmamon]

Geraskier Modern AU wherein Geralt is a single dad who owns a tattoo shop and has a massive crush on his daughter's vocal coach and Ciri just wants another dad to spoil her

[spielzeugkaiser]

[First Part] - [second]

Baby (who still has no name) is warming up to Geralt, who also starts to connect some dots. (Like, I think he suspects that he's Jaskiers son, adopted or otherwise, but he won't even humor the idea that he could be the dad.) That being said - the kid is an angry teenager sometimes. Jaskier tried all he could as a single parent and they have a very loving relationship, but I also think they do argue quite a bit, and there is some tension.

And the more he gets to learn how Geralt truly is the weirder is gets, cause. He's a good guy? And either Jaskier is petty and was too dramatic and kept him from meeting his dad for nothing, or Geralt isn't a good guy AT ALL and has hurt Jaskier really bad, and he doesn't think Geralt has it in him, but some people (and especially alphas) get really weird and archaic around omegas? And he had to witness again and again, with how little respect his unbonded, single father of a bastard child was treated - is Geralt like that too? But Jaskier still only ever talked somewhat kindly about him. And from all he saw... he trusts Geralt. He's a quiet, but witty and honorable man. But is it fair to doubt the parent that was there for him, that raised him, that sacrificed so much for him? The poor kid is so conflicted.

[bluewritinghood]

Witcher! Watch out for that tree!

“You didn’t have to throw that guy through a table you know.” Jaskier says absentmindedly plucking at his lute as he walks beside Geralt down the dusty path.

“He was being an ass.” Geralt reminds him.

“Yes, well it did get us kicked out of the inn though so maybe not worth it?” Jaskier says still plucking at his lute more than likely trying to subconsciously perfect a tune that would soon make an appearance in one of his latest songs.

“He called you a cocksucking bastard.” Geralt reminds him gruffly. “I wasn’t going to let it go.”

“I mean it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever been called I could give you a whole list of insults a mile long that’s been hurled at me this year alone and never repeat the same one twice.” Jaskier laughs at his own expense.

Geralt offers an irritated grunt by way of reply.

“I mean it wasn’t even really an insult since it’s true, I mean half of it at least.” Jaskier says tuning his lute slightly.

“You were an illegitimate child?” Geralt asks surprised.

“Oh gods no. No matter how much my father would like to claim otherwise, I meant the first part. You didn’t know I was Bisexual?” Jaskier asks sounding genuinely surprised.

Geralt doesn’t answer, doesn’t say anything at all, doesn’t look away from Jaskier even as they approach an enormous tree in the road. But surely Geralt couldn’t miss it, its trunk was wider than his shoulders for heaven’s sake.

Geralt runs smack into the tree with a dull ‘Thunk’ stumbling backward.

“Good gods Geralt are you alright?!” Jaskier says jogging the few steps he had fallen behind Geralt to catch up with him and check on him. “How in the world did you miss that tree?”

“You’re into men?” Geralt asks instead of answering the question.

“Yes, I thought that was painfully obvious. Don’t tell me that’s why you ran into the tree it’s honestly not that surprising. I mean I’m kinda fruity.” Jaskier says with a laugh.

Geralt just stares at Jaskier until his smile fades.

“You’re not opposed to that sort of thing are you?” Jaskier asks suddenly a little worried that this of all the things might be what ends their friendship.

Geralt is a silent as a stone for a few minutes leaving Jaskier to wonder what exactly he would say if he ever said anything at all.

“No.” Geralt finally grunts out relieving Jaskier of his fears.

“Well that’s a relief.” Jaskier says with a nervous chuckle.

Geralt continues to stare at him until Jaskier finally asks. “What exactly is the problem then?”

Geralt finally stops looking at him only to start looking anywhere but at him. “I’m in love with you.” He mumbles.

“I’m sorry come again?” Jaskier guffaws. “Because I thought a certain sorceress occupied that stony heart of yours.”

Geralt shakes his head reverting back to his normal taciturn state.

“You’re telling me I’ve had a chance with you all this time and you’re just telling me now?” Jaskier asks voice raising an octave.

Geralt finally seems to get the message that his feelings are reciprocated because the next thing Jaskier knows he’s being pushed up against the tree and Geralt is kissing him.

Ao3 link to this story.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45596839

[aladygrieve]

i sometimes forget that “so you just let strangers rub chamomile onto your lovely bottom?” is a canon line and not some kind of mass fever dream. like we’re all used to it now but you get that it’s batshit insane right

[djosephqueery]

Page of Witcher!Steddie sketches

[sandinthepipes]

Ao3 you either give me a filtering system in my history, or an option to get the history page to be infinite scrolling, because I need to find that one fic I read between February and March of last year

[eileensdress]

Slowly learning that gay people are the only people with valid Witcher takes

[samstree]

Having taught many teenage students must have given Jaskier the ultimate “I’m Not Mad I’m Just Disappointed” power.

It’s a subtle combination of a sigh, a look and a long stretch of silence. He gently but unmistakably tells you how much potential you are wasting and how much you’ve let him down. He’s still nice and he still smiles to reassure you, but if he lowers his expectations of you as a result it’ll be the most terrible feeling in the world.

It’s a look Geralt FEARS. He hopes to never see the Professor Pankratz side of Jaskier.

Sure fighting monsters is hard but oh no, Jaskier is saying his name like THAT again. Suddenly he’d rather be back at the wyvern nest than facing a disappointed Jaskier.

(Mostly it’s because he’s being mean to himself or forgetting to take care of himself again. Jaskier doesn’t mind repeating his lesson of self-love but it does get really tiring at times.)

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Season 4

I will not apologize for this

Jaskier: *looking out the front door*: What the f**k is that? What the f**k is-? Is that a f***ing Witcher?!

Stray Witcher: *stares*

Jaskier: Hey! Don't f***ing look at me like that! That's a weird looking f***ing Witcher! Yen! Hey, there's a stray Witcher outside! I don't want it starting a fight with Roach!

Jaskier: *talking to Roach, who is hiding on the roof*: Roach, it's okay! pspsps! It's okay Roach, don't worry about it!"

Jaskier: "Yen, there's a weird f***ing stray Witcher outside and it looks-"

Jaskier: *looking closer* "It kinda looks like Geralt the f***ing thing"

Jaskier: *yelling at the Witcher* "Hey, get the f**k outta here!"

Jaskier: "I don't even know if that's a f***ing Witcher!"

Jaskier: "BLINK MOTHERF***ER!"

Stray Witcher: * starts walking toward Jaskier*

Jaskier: *running away* "AAAAAHHHHH, NoNoNoNoNONO!"

[cap-sweet-and-salty-sadness]

1 - Historical and 19 - Summer Camp for the AU mashup ask game please. I saw them and they kind of… stuck.

My mind immediately went to Gladiator AU and Geraskier. Jaskier, moody young adult that his parents think he is - when in reality he's just an artist, is sent off to his uncle for the summer. They think that helping him with his gladiator school will teach Jaskier some rigidity. I mean, he sure got rigid when seeing all those half-naked men fight and sweat under the sun all day every day for weeks.

This gladiator school is known to have the wolf gladiators, undefeated in the Colosseum. He meets Geralt who's been chewed up and spat out by Destiny and now has to participate in his dominus' extravagant parties/opium-laden orgies on top of fighting in the arena. Of course Jaskier becomes enamoured with him during one of the parties. He wants to give him his freedom, asks for him so he can at least rest, but Geralt is one of the best fighters and his uncle doesn't want to let go of his biggest body-shaped income.

I find that type of "forbidden" relationship interesting, because would a slave have the free will to love a Roman, his master's nephew in this case, would he feel forced to or would he pretend to like him so he can benefit from that relationship? I'm thinking of the show Spartacus where that uneven type of dynamic is portrayed in various ways. As an history connoisseur I always loved the Roman Empire for how fucked up it was but also brilliant, I'm sure it'd make for an interesting AU.

Thanks for asking!

Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story. 

[xejune]

a little spooky jaskier based on a fic i adore by @redjewelsforeyes

[meanderfall]

One of my favorite relationship dynamics is "two people who know each other, as friends or rivals or just acquaintances, and their lives go through so much upheaval that the other person has become their one true constant in life and it means everything "

[aroace-moron]

I can now play The Rains of Castamere on my lyre and am proud to say that I have officially understood the urge to be the silly little guy in the tavern who plays silly little songs and stays the fuck away from the idiots with the giant swords.

[slagzz]

That fuck ass bob

[dapandapod]

I want something soft. Sorry. Somfte. Like snuggling in blankets on a cold day, drinking tea or something with Geralt/Jaskier.

Yes hi hello my love! While most of europe is facing a heatwave, im sitting at home with blankets and sweaters. In July. I am very dissapointed. so this is me projecting. Ish.

Please enjoy <3

On Ao3 here

For being in the middle of the summer, it is very fucking cold. And by very fucking cold, we are talking drizzling rain, windy winds and double socks.

Yes, Jaskier is a dramatic man, but look, it is cold. Had it not been in the middle of the summer, it would have been ideal for snuggling up on the couch with blankets, tea and a book.

But it is in the middle of summer, and Jaskier refuses to accept the current temperature.

Sadly, their balcony isn't glassed in, or he could have pretended that the smattering of rain is the soft brush of waves, those angry clouds just passing by, soon to reveal a warm sun (or lamp) again.

But Jaskier will not be deterred. Armed with flipflops, his favorite pink swimming trunks, sunglasses, and a pineapple shirt. It somehow matches, he is rocking this outfit, and he will wear this outfit to the store to buy sun lotion.

Be the change you want to see in the world. Hope the weather listens.

The streets are predictably filled with puddles, his toes pink and sad and wet as he trudges on. At least the sun lotion is on sale, he notices, as he passes through the sliding doors, dripping all over their fake marble floors.

He grabs a pool noodle too, for shits and giggles. Why not? It is summer. It has to get warm at some point! Doesn't it?

Returning home to their shared flat is a little less victorious than he imagined. The strap on his left Flop? Flip? One of them snapped, and the walk home suddenly was a lot longer and a lot sadder. His toes now is an angry red and there is water dripping down his nose, making him sniffle.

Geralt was not there when he left, but he sure is there now, standing in the middle of the floor gaping, sweatpants, hoodie and a bowl of cereal a much more sensible choice for the temperature.

"What on earth did you do?" Geralt asks, staring at Jaskier, dripping wet in the doorway.

"It's summer. We need sun lotion." Jaskier says sadly, dropping the pool noodle to the floor with a wet slap.

"Jaskier. It's freezing. Get the fuck in the shower. Why a pool noodle??" Geralt puts down his bowl and steers Jaskier towards the bathroom.

"For the shits and giggles." Jaskier explains, kicking off his traitor floppeti flip, letting himself be steered.

Geralt touching him is always a win, no matter the conditions. Unless he is hitting him. Or tickling him. Anything but tickles.

"Get out of those clothes, you menace." Geralt sighs. "I'll make some tea."

"Best housemate ever." The door is closed behind Jaskier, who quickly obeys and enjoys the hottest shower this side of Mordor.

When he returns to their living room, his cheeks are rosy from the heat, his hair wrapped in a towel.

Vitality restored, Jaskier shuffles to the couch where Geralt is already sitting. It makes his hopeful little heart flutter when Geralt allows

Jaskier to creep up close, lean against his shoulder and sigh contently.

"Waaarm." He says, cheek smushed against his friend's arm.

"You silly creature." Geralt says fondly, grabbing the blanket from the floor where Jaskier left it last night, and throws it over both their legs.

" 's supposed to be summer." Jaskier pouts.

"It is summer."

"Tell that to the rain."

"Don't need to. Heard you muttering all the way up the stairs."

"It didn't listen."

"Poor you."

"Don't mock me."

Geralt snorts and Jaskier snuggled down closer under the blankets. It is terribly cozy, he can't believe Geralt lets him get away with cuddling. A rare treat he is not sure he deserves, but he'll take it.

From the kitchen, the water boiler whistles for attention, and Geralt stands up, leaving Jaskier feeling unbalanced. For a few minutes,

Jaskier just sits there, contemplating if he should wait, or just spread himself over the entirety of the couch.

Before he can make up his mind, Geralt returns with two steaming cups, one cup decorated with ponies in all shapes and sizes, the other a glittery rainbow.

"My hero." Jaskier sighs, accepting the cup, leaning back into Geralt as soon as he is sat down again.

They get comfortable, Jaskier blowing on his tea until it is cool enough to sip on, Geralt starting Netflix to pick a show for them to catch up on.

The opening notes to Stranger thing starts, and Geralt leans forward to set down the remote.

When he leans back, Jaskier almost chokes on his tea. Because now there is an arm behind his shoulders, a hand resting in the dip of his waist.

They don't say anything. Just rest against each other, watching the screen and ignoring the rain outside. It is warm and it is comfortable, old yet incredibly new.

He can feel Geralt breathe, his chest expanding, he can smell his shampoo, and when the monster suddenly appears on the screen, he clutches Geralt's T-shirt, his knuckles touching warm skin.

Suddenly the rain doesn't feel so bad. Maybe he could deal with another day or three like this.

Even if it means broken flipflops or useless pool noodles, he would trade it in a heartbeat, if it meant time curled up on the couch, being held through the scary scenes of a show he's seen twice over.

If it meant being closer to Geralt.